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cat-autism-wizard · 25 days

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wes watching phantom is nothing new. everyone knew wes was spitting nonsense about that poor ghost boy and they just stopped listening to him at one point. it came to bite in the ass for him.

after the countless fight for the day, phantom was tired of everything and just wanted to go home and sleep but lady luck never smiled at the fentons other than to mock them. as he was flying towards a safe space to change back he heard very familiar voices shouting after him.

"we will catch you phantom and we will dissect you molecule by molecule." he heard his father shouting.

not this again.

he usually was better at avoiding his parents but this time his exhaustion was catching up to him.

wes saw phantom flying and decided to follow him. he knew nothing was going to happen since it was the fentons. until they shot him. wes didnt think too much about the shot, danny endured so much worse than a little shot from his parents. wes saw danny fly away to behind some building, probably to transform so he could get rid of the target on him. so he waited him to come out of nowhere to excuse him of being phantom but he didnt come out.

"i swear to ancients if you flew away to not to face your parents or me i will-"

wes' sentence was cut by the scene in front of him. danny passed out on the ground with blood coming from where he was shot.

"fenton?"

shit. this wasnt supposed to happen. it shouldve been the regular easy-to-heal wound, not the wound-so-bad-turned-human wound. shit shit shit SHIT. what was wes supposed to do? he cant leave him like that, even though they dont get along the best danny was still a person, half ghost or not.

wes decided to go to the fentons for help. he could get danny some help and could expose him too. two birds with one stone.

what he didnt expect was how the fentons react.

maddie and jack laughed like it was the funniest joke ever.

"you silly boy. ghosts cant turn humans, if something like that happens its just a ghost manipulating you to pity it." maddie said.

"no i mean what if theyre a half ghost?" wes tried to explain but it was to no avail.

"nonsense, everyone know half-ghosts dont exist. theyre like leprechauns, nonexistent!" jack stated.

their ideas were not even budging even a little.

"what if that ghost turned into someone you know?" wes asked trying to hear some sympathy or just a little hope that they will help.

"then we will regret that ghost ever taking that form." maddie said smiling but anyone could tell it was a violent smile.

shit.

wes weston was a lot of things. observant, annoying, stubborn.. and apparently stupid was one of them.

he was stupid to think two of the most ghost obsessed mad scientists could change their ideas just by his words.

"oh. oh yeah alright. i uhh i need to go." wes sadi and ran towards the place danny was lying unconscious. he tried his best to put some pressure on the wound to hopefully stop the bleeding. the moment he put his hands on it he heard danny hiss with pain.

he didnt know what to do. he couldnt call an ambulance, half ghosts probably had a different bodily functions he guessed after seeing danny avoiding to go infirmary even after a concussion in the school. he couldnt call his parents apparently.

"who knows about phantom after than me. think wes think" he thought out loud. then he realized.

ancients he really was stupid.

wes tried to find danny's phone in his pocket and called one of his friends to get them to help.

as the phone was ringing he was getting more anxious and worried by the second.

"dude this better be good i was middle of a mission in do-" wes cut tucker.

"foley i'll send our location. you have to help fenton."

"wait is that you wes? why do you have danny's phone? i didnt know you were a fully a creep-"

"folley shut the fuck up and come here. fenton's hurt." the line went quiet. then wes heard some typing and a chair noise.

"i texted sam. send us the location we'll be there in 5. and wes if something happened to danny because of you i'll make sure you regret everything." tucker hang up. wes expected a threat but he thought it would come from the goth and not the geek.

wes send their location and tried to get danny in a more comfortable position without moving him too much. he put danny's head on his lap and pray to the ancients that tucker and sam would be there soon.

tucker and sam came after five minutes like tucker said but for wes it felt like hours.

sam without even talking started to tend his wounds best way she could while tucker started to ask questions to (investigating) wes.

"what happened to him?" tucker asked with no sign of his normal upbeat tone.

"his parents. fenton was flying and they shot at him and actually succeeded then he flew here i followed him and i found him lying on the ground unconscious." wes explained.

"so you were stalking him again." sam spitted like venom.

"i was not stalking. i saw him and i followed him. would you rather him dying here with no one by himself?" wes argued.

"dont you fucking there saying stuff-"

"sam thats enough. we will shout at him later." tucker tried to stop sam. she mumbled a 'fine' and continued to make sure danny was not losing any blood.

"he needs ectoplasm and blood." sam said after a while of silence.

"ectoplasm is easy we can get into fenton lab easily but why blood? he never needed blood before." tucker asked.

"yes because he never go unconscious when he got shot like this. he lost blood as a human too this time." she stood up as she collected her aid bag. she sighed.

"i dont know how we're going to find blood for him though. i could try to buy some but it will land us in a list or something. we cant go to a hospital and cant ask his family for some blood." she thought out loud like she was asking them.

"i can give it to him." wes said suddenly after a quick thinking.

"he has an O negative type he could only get from O negatives." sam explained annoyed.

"i am an O negative." wes said as he took of his jacket and put under danny's head as he stood up. sam and tucker shared a glance.

"i guess it would work." sam said with defeat. "tucker you get the ectoplasm from the fentons, i'll get wes and danny to my house for the blood transfusion." she gave out orders. tucker nodded hurried up to the fentonworks.

"help me get him to my house." sam said, wes just nodded and lifted danny bridal style and sam got her aid bag and wes' jacket. he was careful not to touch the wound or fuck up any bandages. all the years he knew danny for the first time he looked vulnerable like that. it hurt wes' heart. he looked tried, it was obvious he didnt get any sleep more than a day. he was too focused on not hurting danny, he was only reminded of sam's existence when he heard a pic take noise. he gave her a questioning look.

"black mail." she said as if it explained anything for wes.

"dont worry my house isnt that far." sam informed wes and started to walk, wes following after her. after a little while they stopped in front of the manson mansion. sam waited for wes' reaction to be like everyone else's but he just stood there and waited for sam to open the door.

"not gonna react? 'wow you were actually rich? why didnt you tell anyone?' or something?" sam mocked as she was unlocking the door. then she realized something.

"wait dont tell me you already knew my house because of the stalking." sam accused. wes with wide eyes.

"what? no!! seriously do you guys think anything about me other than a creepy stalker? i figured out you were rich after you paid for almost everything for the both and even offering to buy blood if it didnt land you in some list!!" wes defended himself.

"now can you open the door so we can get to saving your friend, who im carrying?" sam opened the door and guided him to her room.

"put him on my bed. i'll get the syringe." wes did as she said and sit on the bed waiting for sam. he stared at the boy who was on the bed. his white shirt he always wore now had blood stains and another stain wes guessed as ectoplasm. he was sweaty from the pain, his hair was sticking to his face. wes gently removed his hair from his face and stared some more.

wes was an observant person but he never really looked at danny other than him being the phantom. now he looked at him as a person and not just phantom. and he was pretty. really pretty.

"alright weston, roll up your sleeves." sam came into the room with the necessary equipment at hand.

"have you done this before?" wes asked as he rolled his sleeves up.

"with blood?? no. i did it with ectoplasm multiple times though. however they feel different, so it'll be different for me. blood is more liquidy than ectoplasm." sam explained as she set the stuff accordingly.

"this does not help me relax at all." wes mumbled with anxiety.

"relax it will be fine. probably." sam flashed a teasing smile. wes gulped.

sam carefully inserted a sterile needle in wes' arm. they were really lucky that wes grew out of fear of needles or it would be impossible for him to stay with a needle on his arm in a teenager's room without any professional.

oh ancients he was about to lose it.

"ho-how many more you do you- uhh do you need?" wes stuttered. sam checked the blood in the bag.

"not much like a five minutes top. why?" she turned to wes, who looked like they saw a ghost which ironic because he was currently donating blood for a ghost.

"wait. are you afraid of blood? wait, no you were fine when you were helping danny. are you afraid of needles?" sam grinned. wes didnt say anything knowing it was pointless to deny it.

"wow. thats what i call a character development. giving your archenemy your blood even if youre scared of needles?" sam started to laugh. wes wanted to deny it but with everything that was happening she could be right.

"hes not my archenemy." he mamaged to get that out.

"sure whatever you say, weston. but good news is the is enough for now. we could think about other options when danny wakes up." sam said as she get the needles out of wes' arm. he sighed with relief. she started to set the bag for danny when the door rang.

"wes open the door its tucker." sam said as she continued to set things up. wes opened the door for tucker.

"okay i got some ectoplasm luckily i think its from the blob ghosts' ectoplasm so no ghosts were damaged with this one also i saw some disturbing new weapons." tucker started to explain as he gave the container to sam.

"what kind of weapon?" sam asked.

"was it the one they used on fenton today?" wes asked. tucker was about to start explaining but he stopped himself.

"sam can we talk after you set up danny's ectoplasm and blood?" sam nodded and finished up inserting needle into danny's arm. she put the contained ectoplasm into a bloog bag and put next to blood. after the blood she was gonna set the ectoplasm to the intravenous line.

after the set up tucker and sam went out of the room to talk. wes sighed. he couldnt blame them for not trusting him. he did try to expose danny to everyone everyday for two years now.

as the time passed by wes pulled up a chair next to the bed and waited.

then danny moved.

"danny?" wes gently said as if he was afraid of waking him up.

"wes? why are you here? where am i?" danny tried to get up only stopping when he realized the needle in his arm. he looked around and was relieved when he realized its somewhere he was familiar with.

"dont move. i'll get manson." wes stood up but danny held his arm to stop him.

"alarm her later, she wont let me breath if she knows." danny said weakly and sat up. wes didnt think it was a good idea but still played along and sat down.

"what happened?"

"you were shot and then passed out i found you, called foley and now youre here." wes explained briefly.

"shit." danny said as he started to remember stuff.

"do my parents.. know?" he asked but he didnt want to hear the answer.

"no. they dont." wes assured. danny looked at him with suspicion in his eyes. he didnt blame him.

"i'll get manson." he get out of the room this time without letting danny stop him again. then he overheard tucker and sam talking.

"what do you think? should we trust him?" tucker asked.

"he does seem changed but i dont think we can trust him just yet." sam replied.

he couldnt blame them.

he knocked on the door to alert them. that he was coming.

"hey, danny's awake." he said. both tucker and sam quickly went into the room to check up on their friends. it was more of a scolding than a check up.

wes smiled at sight. he had so much to think about. he went to the door.

"where are you going?" danny called out for wes. he turned back.

"since you were good, i thought i would leave you guys alone." wes explained like it was the most obvious thing ever. the trio exchanged looks and turned back to wes.

"do you wanna stay more?" tucker asked.

"what?"

"he asked if you wanted stay more, weston." sam repeated.

"why?"

"geez we thought you would like to stay more. no need to-" wes cut sam mid sentence.

"no no i mean why would YOU want me to stay? you dont trust me, understandably so. we're not friends. i actively put you in danger by trying to exposing you. why would you want me to say?" wes explained still not processing the question.

"because you helped me." danny said. continued to explain when he saw wes' confused look.

"if you actually wanted to hurt me you would left me to perish or expose me at my lowest but instead you stole my phone to call for backup."

"also gave blood while being afraid of needles" sam added.

"also uncharacteristically you were quiet the whole time you were helping, you listened to us without questioning." tucker stated.

"so? what? are you gonna give me the 'not much of an asshole as i couldve been' award?"

"no, we're giving you a chance to be less much of an asshole. like a second chance." danny explained.

"it still doesnt make any sense. why would you-" wes started to argue.

"wes just shut up and join us for the day, okay?" danny said with a faint smile. wes looked at the trio. they seemed genuine.

"okay."

wes never knew he had so many common interests with the trio. they talked for hours, never excluding wes from the conversations and explaining stuff if he didnt understand.

he felt good.

#wes weston #danny phantom #danny fenton #jack fenton #maddie fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #unidentified flying ship #more implied actually #idk i just wanted to write about wes #aphelynx writes #dp

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arthurflecksgirl · 5 months

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"Halo"

Word count : 3000

TW : Quick mentions of injury/Jail life

Summary : This scenery is inspired by some scenes from the teaser trailer but Harley free. Reader is visiting Arthur in his cell, comforting him which ends up being a healing experience for both of them.

The smell of garbage and hopelessness was hanging in the air like thick smoke. The instant chattering of the inmates impossible to keep you from feeling it in your bones. You begged for some white noise, for a sound less tormenting. Soon you will be able to hear his voice. Soothing, even if it was cracking. Only a few more steps down the stained hallways, passing some more guards, hearing some more screams and shouts. Laughter coming from a cell nearby. It wasnˋt him but you could tell it was some other inmate trying to mimic his cries. They probably didnt even know it was a cry. In here, he was the man who laughs. Always. The mocking sound send shivers down your spine. It hurt you deep down in your heart, which was so full of love for this man, it didnt had any capacy left for anything else. You could tell by the way they tried to imitate his laughter, that they didnt knew about the painful source it was emerging from. That he had to fight it all his life. To endure it when he felt it crawling up his throat when in reality he was begging for a single tear to run down his cheek. Sometimes the tear would come but only from fighting so hard against the laughter. To them he was the man who never cried. Humiliation? He would be the man who laughs. Tasting someones fist and his own blood? He would be the man who laughs. Eletroshock therapy……

You fought for a long time to be allowed to visit him in his cell. Without the cold, stained glass between his skin and yours. Sometimes when the glass got all foggy from his breath you envied the surface for being covered with what was part of him. You wish it was your skin feeling the moist fog coming out of his mouth after he was cracking a joke that would only make you laugh.

You didnˋt notice your fingers starting to crumble the letter you were holding. The one you wrote for him a week ago, so he had something to hold on to when you were back home again. Home. Who were you even kidding? Home was where he was, and if that meant home was a filthy cell in Arkham state hospital, then so it be.

You would take off your clothes, fold them and put them under his sleepy head at night. Arthur rarely had been sleepy before,insomnia was holding him tight in itˋs claws, but the doctors made sure to keep him calmer. They made sure the man who laughs isnt laughing all through the night.

Even though it was never quiet in the hallways. Never a moment of rest, you knew that on his side, with your sweater functioning as a shared, tiney pillow it would work out somehow to find some peace. Even if only for a moment, even if only for a lullaby long. You would hum and sing him to sleep while youˋre touching his unwashed, curly hair. And his tiney body would soon stop shaking underneath your loving hands.The shakyness would come back in waves with every glimpse of a nightmare but you would be still awake,making sure he will be comforted by your hand on his forehead. A sweet, warm kiss or two or countless to make him drift back to sleep, even though he promised not to fall asleep to not miss a minute with you.

But sleeping in your arms was not wasted time. It was the most precious gift under the sky. Especially in here. Your arms, a shelter within a cell. A tent within a harsh reality that wasnˋt able to effect him as baldy anymore. He knew that if he reached out to his own head he would find your hand. He would have proof the sensation of a hand in his hair wasnˋt just a dream. There was an arm and a shoulder to lie on. There was you.

„Miss,you now have an hour with Mr. Fleck.“ The Guards voice woke you out of your thoghts and you realized what you did to the letter in your hands „Dammit, what was I thinking?“ you cursed as you tried to even out the paper. The letter was important. It was something real, something physical to touch.

The door made a heavy sound as it opened. You could get a glimpse of Arthur through the small window which said „E258“.

Was that all he was to them? A number? While his name sounded like a poem to you, this number written on the door of his cell seemed like an insult which tried to strip him off his personality. You wondered who the other inmates were before they had been put in here and given a number. What their story was and what dreams they had before they ended up sounding like one pile of unbearable noise.

You wondered about if anyone in here was treating Arthur nicely. If he made some friends.

„Miss?“ the guard nodded as he pointed inside the claustrophobic space.

Then you saw him.

His gloomy eyes deperately searching for something that feels real. His tiney frame cradeling itself back and forth. There was so comfort here except a vivid dream world in your own mind. The memory of a song you used to love when you were still able to see the blue skies whenever you wanted to.

You hoped that he still had this amount of imagination. To make the black and greys his favourite colors. To make the mocking laughter coming from the other cells his favourite songs. You wondered if he ever danced around his cell on sleepless nights , imagining you between his arms. You craved to be the ghost of Arkham staying with Arthur night and day. Less like a spirit but more like an guardin angel wrapping him in golden, protective light.

When the door fell open Arthur was barely reacting. He doubted it to be happening like everything else around him, including himself. The guard told you something else but you werenˋt listening. All you could hear was Arthurs silent hum. Quiet as it was,to you it seemed more dominant than the arguments and fights going on a couple of feet away. It was like the place was filled with Arthur. His hums and heavy dreams, his sweat, tears and breath.

„Hey, my love“ you said, you could barely stand to be still a couple of steps away from him, but you wanted to give him a moment to realize you were real. Arthurs white undershirt was hanging loosely on his skinny body. He must have lost even more weight since last time you saw him.

Arthur was looking at the dim light that came from the ceiling. As if your voice was coming from there. He looked exhausted from always dreaming but never sleeping.

„Darling?“ you carefully kneed down beside him. His hands still wrapped around his knees, while he as sitting on the floor beside his so called bed. For a moment you thought that seeing him in his cell was actually worse than getting to see him behind the glass window. Wittnessing the reality of his every day life in here was unbearable. You desperately wanted him to get out of here. To bring him dinner to a sun flooded kitchen table, to wrap him into a fuzzy blanket.

„….is love, sweet love…“ he hummed quietly as he finally looked at you. His eyes trying to adjust his new reality.

„Y/N?“

„Yeah, its me. I am here now, Arthur. Do you hear me? Itˋs okay. I am here“ You placed the letter on the small table.

Arthur closed his eyes and smiled as if he was trying to absorb the information. To see if it would still be real when he opened his eyes again.

You started at him, waiting for him to do so. Desperately longing for looking into his eyes. He still kept them closed.

„…its the only thing…..“

He continued cradeling himself

„….there is just…….“

„Arthur? „

„….too little of….“

He quietly chuckled as he re opened his eyes. An emerald green universe of dreams. He opened his arms , waiting for you to get into his embrace. Eyes awkwardly focused on nothing. But his grin spoke more than words. He knew. He knew it was you.

You threw yourself into his arms within a second but yet you felt weightless, almost non existend as you fell onto his body. Did you become a dream the moment he held you? Part of his wold that was created out of imagination and hopes? Arthur was still hoping. For colors, for music and love. He was still craving after all he had to endure in here. Craving to be held.

His hold was surprisingly strong despite his weak body. You felt it while your own body seemed to disappear. You wanted to be real for him but if you were a dream……oh boy, if you were a dream you could stay with him forever and never had to leave for a single moment in time again. Time, space, cellar doors or rules……Nothing could effect you anymore. A dream can stay with you in every situation. Asleep or awake. You so desperately wanted to be his.

„Youˋre…here?!“

He needed this to be real.

You needed this to be real.

For once.

You coudnt talk as you opened your eyes. Can dreams talk back to you? You bet they can.

He needed your body to be something to touch. Not just a shilloutette of light standing beside his bed at night. Like an angel. Like something heavenly he made up in this hell that was these four walls.

The light coming from the ceiling crowned his head like a halo as he adjusted his position to hold you tighter. How ironic that this place which treated him as a dangerous criminal made him look like a saint.

Arthur shifted into your arms. The halo was gone. He wasnt standing in the light anymore.

But he was the light. He was tenderness. Holding him might have lasted a minute or an entire lifetime. It didnt matter as long as it lasted. Arms around bodies and souls merging. Time is nothing.

After a little eternity of holding his little frame he stood there with his arms hanging from both sides of him. As if he didnt knew what to do with them anymore, now that they didnt held you.

„Arthur?“

„Hmm?“

„Could you….maybe take a step to the left side?“

He looked confused

„Is there something wrong?“

„No, ist just….I wanna see the real you“

And as your right hand gently pushed Arthur into position, the light coming from the ceiling was crowning his head, making his curls look lighter in color. Making his halo shine.

Arthur smiled. Every single line that was carved into his handsome face moved, getting deeper.

„Perfect“ you whispered.

Arthur didnt even ask. He trusted you. He didnt move until you came towards him and hugged him again. This time you wanted to hold him tighter but you didnt dare to. Fragile as he seemed you were afraid to hurt him. Telling from the exposed skin on his chest and arms he suffered multiple bruises and cigarette burns.

„Who did this to you,love?“ it was hard to hold back the tears now.

Arthurs hands didnt move,lying on your back like they had always been there.

„I….um…I….canˋt remember“ he mumbled into the crook of your neck.

„…but ist….fine…Iˋm getting…I think I am getting better. You know i´ve been thinking of some real good jokes. Of songs even. I was wondering if I could mix the two? Music and comedy and come up with a funny tune to make the days go by easier….and…I was wondering if….“

His voice cracked

„If what, Arthur?“ you losened the embrace to hold his face in your hands.

He swallowed hard „….Nevermind“

„You can tell me“

„I know“

„But itˋs okay if you canˋt right now“

Arthur nodded gratefully. Somehow all he needed was silence shared with you. The chattering down the halls became ore and more distant. Mutet even. By the music he was hearing when he looked at you. He wonˋt tell you. Not for now. But one day he will. One sweet day he would tell you about the song that was you.

„I wrote you a letter. Its actually not even close to what I have to say. But…“

„I am sure ist just perfect“ he muttered with a crocked smile. Eyes more focused now. „Thank you“.

You noticed a small wound on his temples ,placing a gentle kiss upon it.

„You know they say laughter is the best medicine“ he said „But I disagree with them here. This is.“

You started kissing every inch of his face. Every wrinkle, every pore, the scar on his upper lip. You felt his mouth forming a smile when you did. And even if it was just wishful thinking, it felt like he was healing in your hands. Arthurs hand searched for yours while he hesitated about kissing you back. He was not used to this. The two of you had kissed before but he still remained rather insecure about being physical. He wasnˋt sure about how to act around someone he was in love with. What if the way he was talking to you was not the way he was supposed to? If he said something wrong that would make you like him less? But then again….he knew deep inside that if there was one person in the world he could be himself with, it was you. If only he knew himself better. Sometimes he didnˋt knew what to do, how to act or who to be. But with you he felt like you truly saw something in him. And he wanted to be this man you saw when you looked at him.

The man with the halo.

Arthurs hand was holding yours inside his palms now. Carefully at first until it grew into a tight grip.

„You came“ he breathed into your face.

„Of course I did, darling.“

He let go of your hand „Iˋve made something for you“

Arthur nervously turned around to reach for a small object lying on the floor underneath the tiney window which barely let any sunlight in. He kept it in his left hand while he lit himself a cigarette.

„Oh, what is it?“

Arthur exhaled some smoke as he opened his hand.

„Um…we are not allowed to keep a lot of stuff in here….but….Iˋve collected some stones and Iˋve been carving this one here until it looked like a ….um…heart. Well…It was more like Iˋve been rubbing it against stuff because obviously we canˋt keep any sharp objects here. So….it….does not even look like a real heart… I am sorry….Itˋs….probably just some random, fucked up stone…Iˋm…“

You took the small object and kissed it. It was the most beautiful gift youˋve ever receiced.

„Itˋs beautiful…“

Arthur laughed. It was a geniue laugh.

„ Y/N? Are you crying or what?“

Now you had to laugh too.

„I guess I am“

„Iˋm glad you like it but itˋs really not that special“

„Oh, Arthur, belive me. It is.“

You carefully put the stone that had been carved by Arthur very own hands into your backpack. You will keep it under your pillow, once you arrived at your apartment that should be the apartment of the two of you. The home that kept him save and sound. The kitchen that tranformed into the perfect venue for a waltz at 3 am. The smell of home cooked meals and tangerines filling the air.

„Will you lie down with me for a bit?“ Arthur puffed away his cigarette as he pointed to the dirty bedsheets „Iˋm sorry itˋs not that cosy. I wish I could offer you something more…“

As you crawled under the sheets with him, he lay on his back, his head turned to the side so he could face you, watching as you took your sweater off to place it gently under his head. He twitched when you accidentally touched his wound.

„Oh, Iˋm sorry my love. Better?“

„Yeah“ he whispered, as he pressed the cigarette butt into the ashtray lying on the worn out bunk bed.

He buried his face into the fabric. It would be so much easier to cope having a piece of you to sleep on.

You worried about how it was probably not allowed to gift him a sweater you brought but for now his lovely head was resting on it while a peaceful look crossed his exhausted face and that was all that mattered.

You lay down beside him, using his chest as your own pillow, able to feel his sharp ribs sticking out. His hollowed out belly rising up and down with every breath.

„Did you eat something today?“

He didnt answer, afraid to worry you even more.

„Do you think I am allowed to bring you home cooked meals?“

Arthur sighed „Umm…I donˋt think so…Itˋs okay. Iˋm not even hungry“

A silent tear rolled down your cheek. Half of worry half of happiness to have him near.

„I like my new sweater pillow. It smells just like you“ he smiled, trying to hide his own concern that it might be taken away from him soon.

„You know, Iˋve got a lot of time in here. To dream I mean. To work on jokes in my head and think of songs. Sometimes I can hear the music coming out of the lamp on the ceiling. But only when the lights are on. Strange isnˋt it?“

You combed his hair with your fingers „Arthur, when you are out of here…One day you will be telling all these jokes in crowded comedy clubs and singing all those songs in Gothams most famous Jazz clubs. And I will be there clapping along with the audience before you go off stage to grab my hand and go home to our kids who watched it on live tv and are so proud of their dad.“

Arthur started humming an unknown song that he made up in multiple versions . Each song lyric with a different kinda ending. There were so many options to choose from and he liked that.

„This sounds like my favourite version“ he whisperd bewteen the hums.

And for a moment you could have sworn the light coming from the ceiling started flickering and flooded the grey cell in golden spotlights.

#arthur fleck #joker #joker movie #joker 2019 #Jokerfolieadeux #joker2 #Joker sequel #arthur fleck fanfiction #joker fanfiction #arthur fleck x reader #Joker x reader #Fanfic #arkham #joaquin phoenix joker #joaquinphoenix #Joker movie fanfic

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safetycar-restart · 10 months

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The season is finally over and marc will no longer ride a death trap!!!!!!

Marc was so emotional, but his dom was probably so relieved! That bike was not good.

I cant remember all the thoughts an ds au Marc but with testing now like do they celebrate? If he's collared do he get a nice new collar matching Gresini?

Was there basically all the non sexual intimacy and sensuality after the race (cause the crash and then testing, probably no sex). Like all the cuddles and hair pets and perhaps massages and marc kneeling his head resting on his doms thigh, just a very contented marc as his dom pets him and worships him.

Like that bike scared me, I'm so happy hes away from that even if it probably hurt so much to leave Honda.

Cheers 🏍 anon (sorry for being mia for awhile, life happened)

No need to apologise 🏍 anon, and welcome back! I love these thoughts so much, marc and D/S AU just go together so well.

In this AU, professional doms are either hired by the teams or by the riders themselves in the same way that personal trainers are. You started out as a dom hired by Honda, but as you grew closer to marc you swopped to being employed by marc himself so that you could collar him and be his full-time dom.

So needless to say, Marc demands that you go with him to Gresini, even if Gresini had a team dom he didnt care. Marc would not have moved if he couldnt bring you with, and that wasn't even a question for him. He would not consider moving if they made him swop to their team dom, they could make him use their entire mechanic team and even their personal trainer but not their team dom. Marc hasn't submitted to anyone but you in over 8 years and he's not about to start now.

And of course you hear all of his thoughts about his decision, and while you never openly say your opinion on it because you know he would immediately go for what you said, you make sure he has a safe place to voice his thoughts and work through the positives and negatives of all his options. He had spent countless nights kneeling for you and just talking about it, and he genuinely believes he wouldn't have been able to make the decision if he didnt spend all that time thinking it through with you.

So when the final race for Honda comes about, it's very emotional for both of you. You met Marc at Honda, you've been with the team for as long as he has and while you arent leaving him, of course not, but you are leaving a team you've known as long as Marc. It's undeniably a new chapter for you both and while you're so excited for him, it's also a little bitter sweet. You've seen so many championships with this team, and leaving is hard.

I fully agree that after that race, it's really just soft submission and lots of comfort. He's emotional about leaving, and so of course you get the brunt of that emotion.

You're so sad his last experience with Honda was a crash, but you're also so proud of him that he still came back with a smile on his face and hugged every member of his team and thanked them for everything they've done for him.

You just watched him as he spoke to them, knowing you'll get your time with Marc when it's all said and done.

And you do, you have a quiet dinner with him that night, neither of you saying much because not much needs to be said.

I love the idea of getting a collar with gresini colours made for him, just as a final touch. We said that Marc would have a necklace he wears at all times, even on the bike he never ever takes it off. He also has some formal collars, ones that are more obviously collars that he wears sometimes. If he's feeling insecure or unsafe, he'll ask to wear one of his formal collars so that people know he's taken or he'll wear them during scenes to get into the right headspace easier, but he always has the necklace on even with the collars. He never tales that off.

Marc asks to kneel for you after dinner, which you agree to of course but you tell him you have a special gift for him first. It's a simple black collar, but the stitching is Gresini blue.

He starts crying when he sees it, because somehow that's the moment it really sinks him? Logically he knew he was done with Honda and would start with Gresini at testing, but seeing the collars in that collar... that's when it really sinks it.

You put it on him, making sure it's not too tight and fetching him his special pillow for kneeling.

The rest of the night is very relaxed, with Marc resting his head against your thigh and letting you pet him. He cries every now and then, just silent tears running down his face but you dont acknowledge it.

When Marc kneels for you, it's a safe space for him to say or feel whatever he needs, and you know Marc will look to you if he needs you to do something. So you just continue playing with his hair and letting him cry it out.

He sleeps very well that night.

#d/s au #sub!marc #mm #gn!reader #soft soft vibes #🏍

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greenorangevioletgrass · 9 months

Note

OKAY SO when i said my thoughts around carmy and bradley werent coherent at all I meant that quite literally 😭 i havent thought about it in detail aside from the rough idea BUT if i have to expand on it i’d say it could be something along the lines of denim through the decades? or taking into account what you said about james dean/marlo brando i think it would be fun to see a campaign centered around iconic moments of denim in pop culture too. Maybe recreating some movie sets and outfits and such.

BUT im also thinking something a lot more chill bc ik recreating movie sets n stuff can be 1) a hassle and 2) a lil cheesy, so considering that the people involved in the campaign would be people with an interest in vintage denim n such i was thinking about levis incorporating some vintage pieces from personal collections. Picture one of the countless denims carmy stores inside his oven (sob) or one of bradley’s staples too. Mix that with a limited edition line of ‘brought from the past’ jeans, jackets, etc. and i think itd be golden.

By no means am I a denim expert, I’m talking out of my ass here after a few minutes of research LMFAO but its fun to think about it.

I’m sure carmy would be WAYYY more hesitant to participate than bradley. The latter is probably ecstatic and doesnt let his manager (im guessing levis would be in contact with his manager) finish. As soon as the words levis and collab leave his mouth, Bradley's sold.

I think carmy would be interested in working with levis, a little flattered that they considered him. Maybe taken aback too bc im guessing he’s a very private person and doesnt talk much about his denim collection and such so levi’s def did their research lol. Still, i think he was going to turn them down and then Sugar and Syd found out and tried to convince him bc ‘its levis, u gotta say yes’ but it didnt exactly work and in the end it was Richie who replied to the email with something along the lines ‘id be honoured to be a part of the campaign’ or smth weird in his attempt to impersonate carmen.

With the two of them on set, i quite frankly don’t know if they would interact or how that interaction would go. Think carmy might be too nervous to properly interact bc its a hectic environment. Maybe bradley saw him all closed up and semi alone and decided to strike a conversation with him, talking about denim and such. What do you think?

BTW im so sorry about the typos i keep making, i only notice after you respond LMFAO i swear my english is good, promise.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!! thank you so much for indulging me 😭😭 and no worries, i feel like we’re speaking in a language beyond english where we’re just throwing concepts at each other and we actually understand it. it’s beautiful.

i totally get it that recreating movie sets is a lot. what they can do is recreate looks inspired by these iconic movies (like james dean in rebel without a cause—carmy would look great in that!) they can do a studio shoot or an outdoor city shoot like JAW’s CK campaign (still not over that btw skshsjdhsj)

ok hear me out: carmy is reserved in his private life but i feel like deep down he likes being the golden boy. remember his monologue abt smoking ppl out wherever he works? and just the way he steps up to lead and plays up to people who wanna hear what he wants to say. i feel like with the restaurant on the rise, he’s bound to have done some interviews, and on one of them he went on a hyperfixation-fueled tangent abt vintage denim like the first episode.

and you’re so right, it still would take him a lot of nudging and jostling to say yes. i loooove the idea of richie very eloquently replying to the email and making carmy sound very eager and cordial 🤭 (i imagine he would be a very short emailer/texter if he ever does reply)

with carmy, i feel like it’s not so much that he dislikes hectic environments (how much more hectic can his kitchen get, right?) but it’s the kind of hectic that he can’t control. and it drives him nuts, and he’d take smoke breaks often and eventually, bradley goes with him although he doesn’t smoke. he’d say that he has been to noma a few times and he enjoyed it and they bonded over restaurants and food and all. he’d love to visit the bear some time, to which carmy is like “of course let me know anytime you’re in town”

(Bradley thinks carmy is one of the coolest people he’s ever met. Carmy thinks for someone who’s that famous, Bradley is super chill.)

#this is an unlikely duo that i am INTO #bradley bradshaw #carmy berzatto #carmy & bradley crossover #fx the bear #top gun maverick #footballer!bradley #ask ava

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fa7hum · 2 years

Text

Reunion of Requited

For the past year and a half living in complete love with someone who has passed away. I now understand why nanny would say the things she did about being alone after losing pawpaw. I wondered for the better part of my life why she would'nt move on because this world is such a dismal place without love. Now, having lost my girlfriend Alyvia, who was and is still my muse of an absolutely beautiful true bestfriend from the moment we met till probably forever. Nomatter where how or when I wake up everyday longing for her, (if i can even manage to sleep) | now understand why nanny had bad sleep for such an old person, lol. After hearing this news, Im grateful i know my grandmas heart very well, after countless sleepovers falling asleep to fresh prince on the airmatresses and waking up to CMT music videos every morning to get me pumped up for a great day at school! I fell in love with music because of Nanny as well as love haha which i can say proudly she created the most hopeless romantic the world has seen. Im so grateful for the countless drives we all had together mostly maymay kayla cody and I really haha. Im so glad i got to cry to her last summer after Allyvia died. I sold my car to just fly in without notice and all I could do was cry no matter what state or city I found myself lost in looking for home because the only place i felt truly ever home was with Lyv. Nothing was helping heal this pain drowning me and in all honesty i came to Florida to tell everyone i loved them and give one last goodbye because this heartbreak is literally killing me. I remember when i was much younger nanny would go out on the porch at night and look at the stars and show me which one was pawpaw, because he was always the first star to come out at night and ever since then i always see pawpaw when i look at the stars. And shed always just say i just miss pawpaw here and there and i didnt get it then but wow. I can barely get a sentence out without it having something to do with Alyvia.

If i know my grandma like i think i do, the day her spirit left the body we know she'd been waiting for that moment in awe since the day pawpaw passed away. Love has now been refurbished and thats such a very beautful thing.

I think i kissed nannys forehead before i ran off that porch last time haha and im so happy i did.

"love is blind. Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded.

The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!

And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were once that happy. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back.

, ,jtr

xoxo

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koipalm · 2 years

Note

Hi same anon who is enjoying your live reaction (I’m shy but interested in your thoughts)

1) I SEE YOUR TAGS IN YOUR REPLY TO MY FIRST ASK 👁👁👁 JON IN A MAID DRESS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I’M ON MY KNEES

2) I see 👁 you have finished :) How are you feeling? How ya’ doing? Are you insane? I’m still insane and I finished it over 7 months ago :) (Genuinely, I’m curious to hear your thoughts but only if you’re comfy/want to!!)

3) Now that you have finished: can I just say how refreshing it is to see the “What the fuck what the Fuck WHATTHEFUCK” at the whole ending ahaha…. Ha…. Haaaaaaa…… Glad to see I wasn’t alone in how conflicted it (the last two episodes) made me feel

Hope you’re doing well! Welcome to the After show of Somewhere Else! Also! Did you know Rusty Quill has a bunch of soundbites of the VAs saying things in character for charity! Like! Elias saying “Pika Pika” and “Like, you know, Nyah?” And Jon and Martin being sappy! You can use it to distract you of the pain of Not Knowing (while also loving Not Knowing)!

oh man dont worry all my favorite characters get the maid dress treatment. its practically tradition at this point

YES I FINISHED.... i thought it was going to end at the "i love yous" and i am. so glad it did not.... i think the ending was perfect for the kind of tragedy it was but MAN. do i feel bad for jon. tma is just a compilation of "feel bad for this sad guy" moments. i do know that i will be going back to all the content that i ignored so as to try to not spoil myself.... of course that didnt work out completely but i didnt know how it all went down so im glad for that... seriously what i wouldnt give to have gone into this not knowing ANYTHING.... the ending though does give me the PERFECT setting for my ideas of jon meeting the old archives crew as well as this jon being able to meet people even further back from before he was the archivist, like gerry and oliver... i really wanted to have something like "jon is still the archivist and meets the other people but BEFORE jon even became head archivist" and time travel doesnt really work if he returns to his original body.... i really like the idea of the other avatars meeting jon in his new ascendant form.... ANDDDDD MY WHOLE IDEA OF THE AVATARS GETTING TOGETHER TO ALL MEET and someone being new to it and hearing of all of these terrifying people and then hearing of The Archivist.... the mystery, and the most powerful one that no one else crosses because he probably pulls more strings than the web.... I MEAN REALLY. THEYRE JUST GIVING ME ALL THIS CREATIVE FREEDOM. THEYRE REALLY HANDING IT OUT. THEY EVEN SET THE STAGE FOR ME I DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO. god. i am about to have so much fun with this.

man i kept pausing just to take in how badly it was going. tma is a tragedy because jon doesnt get his own FUCKING decisions despite being preached to that it was all because of his decisions.... my poor guy. im super glad they did address a lot of what i was worried about though! not necessarily jons particular issue with the guilt of having to end the world and then being pushed to maybe possibly end countless others..... tch. tch. tch. dont get me wrong it all works narratively it just sucks. not even martin is really able to let jon have this... because of what it would do to jon i know, but it still fucking sucks. also im still frustrated that martin slapped jon like twice. tch. whatever martin has COUNTLESS world to make all of this up to him. AND IN EVERY SINGLE ONE HE HAD BETTER

YEAHHH ive heard some? of the fluff tapes but im pretty sure theres a lot of content i missed.... my favorite that i have heard so far is jons "i am very small, and have no money, so you can imagine how i feel" LMFAO

#tma spoilers #ask #sad ending? yes. however it does provide me this sparkly creative license #AAAAANDDDDD JON DOES GET TO BE PARADED AROUND OTHER WORLDS IN ALL HIS ARCHIVISTIC GLORY WAHOO #I FUCKING WINNNNNNN #thank you my friend i am going to have so much fun with this universe. new sandbox for me and my blorbos

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joelredden · 2 years

Text

For the past year and a half living in complete love with someone who has passed away. I now understand why nanny would say the things she did about being alone after losing pawpaw. I wondered for the better part of my life why she would'nt move on because this world is such a dismal place without love. Now, having lost my girlfriend Alyvia, who was and is still my muse of an absolutely beautiful true bestfriend from the moment we met till probably forever. Nomatter where how or when I wake up everyday longing for her, (if i can even manage to sleep) I now understand why nanny had bad sleep for such an old person, lol. After hearing this news, Im grateful i know my grandmas heart very well, after countless sleepovers falling asleep to fresh prince on the airmatresses and waking up to CMT music videos every morning to get me pumped up for a great day at school! I fell in love with music because of Nanny as well as love haha which i can say proudly she created the most hopeless romantic the world has seen. Im so grateful for the countless drives we all had together mostly maymay kayla cody and I really haha. Im so glad i got to cry to her last summer after Alyvia died. I sold my car to just fly in without notice and all I could do was cry no matter what state or city I found myself lost in looking for home because the only place i felt truly ever home was with Lyv. Nothing was helping heal this pain drowning me and in all honesty i came to Florida to tell everyone i loved them and give one last goodbye because this heartbreak is literally killing me. I remember when i was much younger nanny would go out on the porch at night and look at the stars and show me which one was pawpaw, because he was always the first star to come out at night and ever since then i always see pawpaw when i look at the stars. And shed always just say i just miss pawpaw here and there and i didnt get it then but wow. I can barely get a sentence out without it having something to do with Alyvia.

I think i kissed nannys forehead before i ran off that porch last time haha and im so happy i did.

I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space!

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your friends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were once that happy. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back.

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mirrorforevers · 3 years

Text

here, there, and everywhere • graham coxon/reader

this fic is based on two prompts y'all sent me:

and

this fic really tested all of my blur knowledge holy Fuck. blur as talking heads au i guess. how cool would it be if they

1. had a girl bassist instead of the cheese tory dude

2. werent as unhappy as they were in the mid 90s (just a bit)

3. were just a little 🤏🏻 bit more female friendly lets just pretend this is a universe where the blurjob passes didnt exist heh

it took me everything i had to make this sound as realistic as it could be. u know these girls who think they could fix patrick bateman or don draper? perhaps y’all could fix blur

consider this a gift n not only me writing for your prompt, @nottuned! thank u so much for all your support n encouragement n for always bein so sweet 🥺 i hope u enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!

let’s see how many references to unfortunate britpop moments y’all can find in this

also i hope i captured the silliness of the gossip and drama in that era well. if you enjoyed it, please leave an ask telling me more! ur feedback is rly important to me 😔✊🏻

tw (?) reader has shitty parents

word count: 7.938 (this one's quite long!)

smut. set in the 90s. au.

You were unlocking your door when you heard your house phone ring. The shrill sound echoed through the empty corridors as you hurriedly unwrapped your scarf, tossing your keys and backpack on nearby furniture as you ran to answer the call.

“Hello?” You answer, panting.

“Y/N?”

“Dave?” You smile, that call was a very welcome surprise. Your friend owed you an answer.

A few weeks ago, Dave Rowntree, your music classmate who became a close friend, told you that he had teamed up with two other proficient musicians to form a band. Dave was ecstatic, and every day he had new stories about his new friends to tell you between breakfasts and lunches that you shared between the countless hours of rehearsals. Even though you weren't part of the group, you already felt that you knew Damon and Graham like the back of your hand. Yin and Yang. One was expansive, ambitious, vain, impulsive. The other, shy, introspective, anxious and careful.

Damon Albarn wanted to be an actor, Graham Coxon had a firm foot in the visual arts. One was a fan of grand classical compositions, the other was a Beatles fan. They had been friends since they were children, in a seemingly unbreakable bond. Damon dropped out of his theater class not only because out of a sudden he had found a bigger calling in music instead of acting, but also because he couldn't stand being away from his best friend for so long. You found yourself often imagining their faces and voices while trying to make all of the wild and endearingly funny stories Dave told you more tangible in your head.

It was not long before Dave started dropping little hints that they needed someone else for their project. “It’s not that Graham isn’t good at bass,” he’d say, “but we could do better.” It wasn't at the top of your plans to be part of a band right now, especially as you were preparing intensely to join the Royal Academy of Music, and he knew it. When you mentioned the conversations you had with Dave about the boys on your family dinner, in quiet wonder and timid want of being part of something really exciting, your parents wrinkled their noses. Focus on the greater things, they’d say. Don’t let these boys distract you from your goal.

Our goal, they meant to say. Since you were born, you never knew if the things you wanted were really your will or theirs.

But anyway.

That dynamic went on for a while, until the day Dave invited you to audition for them while you shared a Diet Coke in the tube home.

“Will it take too much of my time?” You asked, coyly.

“Bold of you to assume we’ll let you in that quickly.” He chuckles, amused by your confidence. You playfully elbow him in return. He knew how good you were at what you did, though, and there’s lightness in his tone when he continues, “But no, unless you let it. You’ll probably have to stand up to Damon every once in a while.” He sips the drink, handing it over to you.

“What about Graham? How much is he determined to make it big?”

“Damon’s the one who wants it the most. Graham’s studying Fine Arts at Goldsmiths, so. There’s still cautiousness in him.”

“Huh. Okay then.” You reply, thoughts running wild. “Do we have a time and date?”

“Is tomorrow ok to you?”

“Sure. After our class?”

“Perfect.” The train reaches his station. He ruffles your hair: “See you tomorrow then.”

“See you.”

You don’t tell anything about it to your parents, you just warn them that you’ll arrive a bit later than usual. Dave’s intel was crucial to your choice of songs: knowing Graham was the beatlemaniac and also the rational brake to Damon’s tireless ambition, you knew who to please and have as an ally, so you build an innovative and fresh mashup of Paul McCartney’s greatest basslines to play for them. Of course it could backfire, but you didn’t care. You had a hell of a good ear anyway and if Damon wanted you to play anything out of the blue, you would improvise beautifully over it.

The day comes. You didn’t know why you were that nervous for an amateur audition. You weren’t even sure if it was the right path to follow, given that, depending on how focused Damon really was and how contagious his aspiration was, being part of a band could really take you out of your predestinated course. The reason why you were so nervous, now thinking a little more about it, may be because deep inside, you want your path to be a little less predictable. You didn’t want to fill your heart with hopes that you might make it big and travel all over the world because you didn’t even know them. But… what if it clicks? You knew some people in the scene whose work was getting seriously recognized out there.

Meeting them for the first time was an enigmatic experience. Damon was incredibly brash and cocky - not the first theater kid you’ve met in your life. Graham was way more approachable, though also a bit conceited when pushed just right. You wondered if you’d fit in that boys’ club, and decided you wouldn’t be an easy target for discredit or any kind of shit they might give you. “Took me a while to fully get their trust. You’ll do just fine”, Dave said, out of their earshot.

That gave you more fuel to play amazingly well. Damon definitely wasn’t one to be impressed quickly, but he was, when you finished your set. So was Graham - Graham was starry eyed with your performance, actually. Albarn showed you a song and asked you if you could improvise to it, just as you imagined. Of course you could, on the first play. You even suggested some adjustments to its structure. Your feedback was welcomed and noted.

Even though everything went surprisingly well, you still weren't sure if you would be a member of “Seymour”, as they called themselves. (You knew it wasn’t the best name, but you didn’t have a better suggestion at the time so you’ve kept your opinion to yourself.) Graham became eerily quiet out of a sudden and wouldn’t cross eyes with you the entire time you were there. Damon, well, was Damon. Perhaps he thought you were too ordinary and mainstream for deciding to play Beatles when he’s trying to be the new avant-garde Jesus.

But Dave's news was different than you expected. “They really, really enjoyed your audition. As I thought they would.” You can hear the smile in his voice. "When can you rehearse with us?"

Months after, on your first gig as a fully formed and integrated band, Damon was hit in the face by a guy twice his size, Graham vomited onstage and you and Dave had to take care of both. A beautiful way to close the already exquisite day you had, after you fought with your parents, got kicked out of your childhood home and gave up on entering the Royal Academy of Music two days after you received your acceptance letter featuring rave reviews of your entrance exam.

Dealing with these boys - no, grown-ass men - was hard, but not completely unpleasant. If it were totally unpleasant, you wouldn’t give up on your entire life to embark on such an adventure.

You - plural you - were so gifted and Damon’s compositions were so good. You could see that artsy pretentious mess of an act going somewhere. Of course, you were a bit lost in your life, but so were they, as you ran from city to city meeting new people and trying new things in your journey to fame.

Loneliness, once a close friend, became a distant acquaintance. One you didn’t know anymore.

You confess you were getting worried, though, with how much money you had left on your savings and how much you were spending lately now that your parents weren’t an active part of your life. Wanting to eat something you cannot dream of buying without that money being really useful in a much more critical situation, not having nearly enough money to replace something important that broke or got torn off was frustrating. Some basic things became luxuries out of a sudden.

One day in particular, you very briefly mentioned that you were dying to eat a slice of chocolate cake, but your voice was so small and everyone was so immersed in their duties you thought no one gave two shits to what you said. Two days later, Graham arrived late at rehearsal with a small chocolate cake in his hands, handing it over to you like it was a completely ordinary act. Nothing in the way he acted told you he expected a reward, it was so natural and… gentle. You knew no one in your band could buy a chocolate cake without it being apocalyptic to their personal finances during that time.

That day, you were assured by fate that feeling lost together was better than feeling guided alone.

The band finally got on track - strictly musically speaking. Personally speaking, many contemporaries who followed you at parties and other events described you as an ever-growing odd, annoying and intermittently disarming bunch - and Blur and its members became household names, at least in the UK. It became harder and harder everyday to impose yourself as an entire industry and its target public aimed to tear you down. Men couldn’t understand.

(Graham Coxon was the one who tried the hardest to.)

It was four in the morning. You’ve got used to following your bandmates to hospitals, running away from trouble or knowing when to relish in it. But it was the first time you offered yourself to clean up dried blood from one’s face, given how much you hated seeing the fluid and even fainted when younger whenever exposed to it.

You, so delicately, wipe the saline solution-soaked cotton across Graham’s face, who flinches at the cold sensation on his still sensitive skin. He stares at you with the eyes of a child, and you couldn’t help but give him a slight, warm smile in return, which he retributes. Your face conveyed gratitude and affection towards the one you were taking care of. Your hands still struggled to stay completely still after the surge of adrenaline your body received a few hours ago.

Being the only girl in a massive band, and one the music magazines and mainstream media loved sexualizing, meant having paparazzis in your window in odd hours (not that that’s acceptable in any hour, but you had to lower your standards even more these days), meant having different photographers trying to pressure you to get into all kinds of uncomfortable angles with skimpy-ass dresses and just count on the intervention of your fellow bandmates so they would stop, also having invasive male fans who would try to harass you in any way they could.

Of course the day where one of your bandmates would get into a fist fight with one of these men inserted into these categories would come. And even though they were all protective of you, each in their own peculiar, increasingly contradictory way, Graham’s dedication to it was sometimes commendable.

You were making your way through a small corridor of people on your way to the stage when a random guy cupped one of your breasts. It’s not like the venue was incredibly tight, it could not have been on accident and it made your blood boil. You turned around to scream at him, and Graham, who was just behind you, threw a punch directly towards the man’s face, without thinking twice.

And oh boy, took a lot of people and a sweet amount of time to separate the two after that.

After all was said and done, Graham had a few scratches, a black eye and a cut brow. He kept dodging your many “sorrys”, “you didn’t have to do this” and other expressions of guilt. “You have nothing to be sorry about, he deserved it”, he kept assuring you, like a mantra, just giving in to your pleas when you supplicated to take care of his wounds during intermission and after the show.

“I get why you did what you did, Gra. I hate that you took such a risk because of me, but I understand.” you say, voice cracking from not using it for a while after spending some good minutes in complete silence taking care of him. “However,” you soak another cotton ball in the saline solution a roadie got you, punctuating the word with a squeeze to the cotton to remove excess liquid. “I was worried sick about you. What if he… had a knife or something? You could’ve got seriously injured. Or killed.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly able to have a good fight,” after wincing from the contact of the cold wet cotton with his dried blood, he purses his lips in a forced, shy smile, trying to light up the mood. He notices your hands are still shaking from the adrenaline, and takes one of them in his bigger ones, trying to calm you down. The fact that he did this for you, coupled with the fear and how tired you felt of having to go through that kind of situation once again, made you cry-laugh from how overwhelmed you felt.

His expression changes to one of pure compassion in an instant. “Hey, don’t--oh my,” he gets up from his chair to embrace you as you pour your frustrations through fat tears running down his shoulder.

“It’s so exhausting,” you mumble, through sobs. “Now I’m putting you in danger too. I feel like I did and I’m still doing everything wrong. I should be the one giving you a shoulder to cry on.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong! Anything at all, I promise you,” he says, tenderly, running his hands through your hair, still holding you tight. “It was his fault! I decided it was the right thing to do. You’re worth the risk. What people have been putting you through is unacceptable.”

“I’m not worth the risk!” You break apart from his arms, trying to get your point across. “What would I do without you if someone killed you? You need to be more careful!”

The silence hangs heavy between you two thanks to the weight of your words.

“You should’ve asked me before you lunged at him, at least. I don’t know.” You wipe your many tears as you move towards the nearest bottle of water to try to calm yourself down. “It’ll never end. I’m so afraid that these situations will get even worse. That,” you motion at his wounds and dirty clothes, “is a bloody tragedy. It’s a tragedy things escalated to this point. You can’t do that forever.”

“This is just a consequence. And something I would do for you in a heartbeat whenever necessary.”

“Graham, I don’t want you to get hurt because--”

“They hurt you. I won’t let you go through that alone. Besides,” he comes closer to you again. “As I already told you, I can take care of myself, most of the time.” He takes your face in his hands, his fingers so delicately running across your cheeks to dry your tears. You knew that gesture wasn’t his way of asking you for anything you weren’t ready to give him yet. He just wanted you to feel safe. “And I want to take care of you.”

“I’m the one cleaning your wounds.”

“A great partnership, I think.” Coxon chuckles softly, and finally gets a smile out of you. As he always does. “And they make me look cool, don’t you think?”

“Shut up.” You giggle, still feeling too emotional to return to the stage. You sigh: “Thank you for being there for me. You know I’m still not very used to it. Just please be safe.”

The roadie returns, a little flustered by interrupting your little moment together. “5 minutes and you’re back, guys.”

“Okay!” You both turn to answer her.

“I’ll be. No need to thank me for anything, Y/N.” He answers, giving your forehead a little kiss. “Let’s go.”

“Give me two minutes. I’ll be right behind you.”

“What’s it like, being the only woman in the band?”

Four eyerolls at once don’t seem to faze the interviewer. She waits for your response.

Apparently the thousand invasive questions regarding Damon’s love life and the same bullshit treatment of women as either rare specimen or sex dolls is what pleases the audience of music TV shows these days.

“What do you think?” is what you say.

“Must be a thrill to have these beautiful boys around you all the time. And we’ve heard you never even took advantage of it!”

You don’t like where this is heading. “Is that… a bad thing? I don’t know what you mean.”

“Perhaps some of our lady viewers might think it is. No judgement though!” She raises her hands. “You do you, it’s just that it’s quite unexpected to see prudes in non-Christian bands. I mean… from what we’ve heard.”

“I’m sorry? What are you trying to say? What did you hear?”

Her tongue clicks while she stares at you with defiance and mischief on her eyes, as she goes a little further and raises her voice so it can overlay yours. “Oh love. You do know what I’m talking about. There’s no need to be ashamed of being a virgin.”

Your cheek burns intensely and the only thing you wished for was for the ground to swallow you whole. Dave and Graham are especially uncomfortable. Damon’s a bit amused. The three knew almost everything there was to know about you. The one topic that surprisingly they didn’t know about is that you’re still a virgin.

They know you’ve been single for a long time. They know that’s part of what draws so much attention and twisted lore regarding you and your past, but that’s not something they felt they needed to know about you at all, and you truly never felt the need to comment about that with any of them, and they haven’t asked. Not even Mr. “the way to be successful in this game is to make all the boys wanna be you and all the girls wanna sleep with you. In your case that’d work in reverse” Damon Albarn.

“Is that even something that should be discussed in an interview about our music? Is that what your boss told you to ask her about?” Dave answers, his tone venomous.

“Musicians are way more than just music. You’re entertainment in every sense of the word.”

“Who told you that about me?” You asked, not sure if you want to know the answer.

“A lovely elderly lady who lives in Elgin Crescent. She knows you so well.”

That’s your mum. That’s how far low your relationship has degraded. You’re not surprised. That doesn’t feel less like a punch on your gut, but you don’t feel like tumbling again. Not today.

“I know who you’re talking about. Tell her I asked her to go fuck herself and burn in hell. In that order.”

“But that’s your--”

“Yes, she is my mum!” If people are going to expose you anyway, then why don’t you do it on your terms? “We’re truly entertainment in every sense of the word, aren’t we. Not everyone’s mum’s a cunt. Some of us aren’t that lucky.”

“You want to be the next Gallagher sister with the spicy remarks?”

“Not sure. But I do want to be the last person you ever get to interview.”

The management of the band wasn’t at all surprised your interview became UK’s topic of the week. People were heavily divided between family is family and we shouldn’t hate our relatives and blood isn’t everything, family can be shitty too. Your bandmates were proud of you. The management was angry but tried to understand, and didn’t press you for further explanations. They suggested a two-week break from everything so Blur could rest their image and start a fresh cycle after that, and you gracefully accepted it.

The whole thing seemed so ridiculous the more you thought about it. Did your mum tell the reporter about that gratuitously? What was their conversation like? How did that even happen?

You became the butt of jokes in some places. You saw other famous people doing challenges between them, countdowns, all sorts of crude remarks. What a pathetic, sad chapter of your career.

You dial Graham, and you feel like your heart was about to burst out of your chest.

“Hey, Gra. It’s me.”

“Hey, Y/N.” He sounds pleasantly surprised. “How's it going?”

“Better, I guess. I have to take my mind off all that chaos though. Are you available right now?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve been owing me a movie night for quite a while now and I miss spending time with you. Wanna come over?”

“Aww. Sure, I--um. Do you want me to bring anything?”

“I’m pretty sure I got everything we need here--ah… I think I don’t have any more beers.”

“I’ll buy some then. See ya in a few minutes.”

Actually, you couldn’t take all that chaos off your mind because that was the only thing in it. You’re feeling so nervous.

The main reasons sex wasn’t a priority for you until now were:

You didn’t have any real opportunities of losing your virginity in your teens. You were impossibly introspective until, like, 3, 4 years ago, and the way your family worked hasn’t really allowed you to get really close to people. Be it boyfriends, girlfriends or just friends. Anything that threatened to take time off the various tasks and classes your parents assigned to you just couldn’t be part of your life. To be honest, you still struggled a bit to form meaningful connections with people thanks to how you grew up.

The moment you stopped being shy, you noticed it was a real man’s world out there, especially in music, classical or not. You didn’t want anyone to think you fucked your way up to the top, you didn’t want any messy affairs. Also, you had yourself, and you didn’t get all of the hype regarding the concept of screwing someone. But apparently there’s a lot you’ve been missing, given the importance people seem to give to it. After that incident, even though you swore to yourself you wouldn’t give in to any kind of misogynistic pressure, that was one that really got under your skin.

You never really found someone who you felt 100% safe with in that sense until the one who’s about to arrive at your house appeared in your life. Bloody hell, and you don’t even have anything romantic going on. By the time you were a Blur member, you’ve fooled around a bit, but not all the way. You knew how to kiss, knew how to touch yourself and even brought manual satisfaction to some random fool you thought you were into one time. But perhaps this is the time to go all the way. Why not? Everyone knew how close you two were. He made you feel special. He was so kind. And gorgeous. And--

You hear a knock on your door. It’s him. Beers in hand, hair somewhat in place, twitchy as ever.

He comes inside and you feel like your legs will give up anytime. It was not the first time he visited you. It was one of many, actually, and he noticed you were acting… different.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks after a brief dialogue between you two, after plating some snacks for both of you.

“Graham...” You sigh, being really careful with your words. “What is your perception of me?”

“My perception of you?” He smiles. “I… think you’re great. You’re fun to be around. You’re one of the best musicians I know, if not the best. Why are you asking me that?”

“N-nothing. It’s nothing. Also, I asked the wrong question. What was your first perception of me?”

“Uh… the day of your audition?”

“Exactly. You barely talked to me that day.”

His eyes lower to his own feet. “I was really timid, actually. I wasn’t used to being near any girl, especially one who… w-would spend so much time around me if everything went well.”

You giggle. “I thought you hated me.”

“Never!” his smile turns into a full blown laughter. You melt at his confession. “Also because it seemed like you were trying to read my mind or something.”

“Of course! Because I thought you hated me!” Now that was a laughter you two shared. You do a voice: “‘Why is that pesky girl trying to get in my band?’”

“My goodness, no! I don’t even sound like that - you know what, I changed my mind. You suck. Because, besides the fact you don’t even know what I sound like, you still haven’t told me why you are asking me that in the first place.”

You couldn’t help but notice how he slightly cornered you physically in one of the kitchen corridors. Graham could be really persuasive when he wanted to.

“Okay. Right. Um. I’ve been thinking about some stuff.”

“What, exactly?”

“Everything that happened this month. The great virginity debacle,” you roll your eyes, and he scoffs.

“You don’t own anyone any information about what you do or don't do with your life. Everyone’s being so invasive. That was incredibly childish of the reporter to do, and we talked about that hundreds of times.”

“Yeah, but… you know what, forget it.”

“Tell me, Y/N. I just said that because I want you to know you were not in the wrong.”

“I know. It’s just… I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s silly for me to… keep closing myself for affection. Any kind of affection.”

“What are you talking about?” His brows furrowed in curiosity.

“I’m not sure if it’s the pressure that finally got under my skin, but… I’m willing to learn what all the fuss is about. Maybe it’s silly that I’m still a virgin.”

He bites his lips, still processing what you just said, expression unreadable. Perhaps you’ve treaded a ground you shouldn’t. You step back both literally and figuratively. “I’m sorry I even brought that up--”

“No, no, don’t be.” He assures you. “I’m just… surprised, that’s all. I swear.”

“And...” You know what. You already went too far, so why not go all the way. You’ve already gone way past the point of no return. “I was wondering if… you would… popmycherry?”

His eyes widen, yours still closed. When you finally open them, he’s closer to you again.

If his head was a machine, you’re sure it would be releasing lots of steam and shaking due to overprocessing. You felt like you just ruined everything.

“Y/N, you don’t need to do it if you don’t really want to.”

“But I want it! At first I thought I didn’t, but then I thought...”

“I don’t want to be part of that if you’re just doing it to fulfill weird expectations.”

“But it’s not that. Not just... that. I asked about your perception of me because I really like you, Gra. I think we should be more than friends and I wanted to know what you think about me. And I want to know what the fuss is about, yes, but I’m not telling you that just so I can lose my virginity to prove some point. I’m telling you that because I like you, I want to kiss you, and I think it would be a great idea if you showed me what it’s like. Y-you know, sex.”

“I-I can’t believe it. Did you even have any movie in mind?” His smile’s back, but you’re still not confident about what his answer will be.

“I didn’t. I’m sorry. You don’t have to--”

He sighs. “I was in love with you the moment I first saw you, actually.” He says it like he’s releasing a huge load out of his back, his arms crossed. Now your eyes widen, and you hold your breath without even noticing. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured. I know how you feel, or, felt about relationships, so… there wasn’t any reason for me to tell you that. And what I said about being timid was just half of the truth.”

“Huh?”

“I also was really intimidated by how pretty you looked. You can’t imagine how.”

“No way.”

“It’s true. I felt like I wasn’t even worthy of looking at you, really.”

“You’re joking. That’s mean, Gra.”

“I’m not. I’m really not.” He doesn’t look like he is joking. He looks relieved. “I’m really not. That’s why I’m so surprised by your request.”

“I’m nothing special.”

“You are everything to me. But I can’t accept your offer, not now.”

“Are you… seeing someone? Am I too late?”

“No. Definitely not. I just want you to be sure you’re not doing it because people are saying you should.”

“Graham, I’m a grown woman.”

“I know.”

Graham carefully presses his slightly chapped lips to yours, kissing you for a few precious, heart stopping seconds before pulling away; his voice is impossibly silky when he suggests, “Let’s watch a movie. How about The Godfather? I heard it’s airing tonight. Then, if in two weeks you don’t change your mind, tell me and I’ll be glad to help you with what you want. Do we have a deal?”

“That’s so unfair. I want you so bad.” You whisper.

“Tell me if you still do in two weeks.”

You sigh, defeated. “...Deal.”

You definitely notice the subtle shift in Graham’s personality and actions after that fateful night. If you were already close, both figuratively and literally, it now seemed like he would use any excuse to always touch you, be near you, sometimes tease you. The shift was subtle, though, don’t forget it’s still Graham Coxon we’re talking about - the constant “is it okay if”s or “is it alright if I”s were still there, as careful as ever. You don’t even talk about your deal that entire time, or even kiss again - sometimes you wondered if it was even real or just a fabrication of your mind.

The way he now caressed your hand discreetly when you listened to Damon’s ramblings, the way his hands now went directly to your waist when your games became too handsy, the way he seemed to be madly in love with everything you were and still are from the start - made you realize you were ready for this man to be a consistent part of your life.

The dust of the controversy was settled, and your own intentions were 100% clear to you now. The societal pressure has waned. The need for Graham to be your first persisted. After exactly 2 weeks have passed, you call him again, yearning to share the answer with him.

One beep.

Two beeps.

Three beeps.

Four beeps. “Hello?”

You release a sigh hidden deep inside of your lungs. “Graham, it’s Y/N.”

“Oh. It’s been two weeks.” You could hear the contemplative tone of his voice.

“...Yeah. That’s precisely the reason I’m calling you.”

“Do you still want to…?”

“...Desperately.”

“Ok.” He chuckles, flustered as hell on the other side of the phone, probably one of the prettiest sounds you’ve ever heard. “Right. Ok. Your place or mine?”

“I think there’ll be an element of mystery if I go to your place this time.” You lose some of the constraints this silly shyness has been tying you on. “Do you have everything we might need there?”

“We don’t need a dungeon, you know.”

“The basics.” You make your smile heard.

“I do have… I do have the basics.”

“See you in a few minutes then.”

“Will you want to… ease into it? Or just go straight to it?”

“God, don’t make it awkward!” Your cheeks burn, your smile turning into contagious laughter. “Maybe… I don’t know. Ease into it, I guess? A movie night… but with s-something else?”

“Okay. Sounds good.”

“Alright then. See you.”

“See you.”

You don’t choose any particularly fancy or sexy clothes, instead settling for a slightly oversized yellow striped shirt he gave you as a birthday present some months ago and some skirt that fit you well. He wasn’t one to lavish his loved ones with gifts all the time, but few things were as precious as the look on his face whenever he saw you wearing something he gave you or, hell, even eating something he paid for you. You’re thrilled to see it again when he opens the door for you, it easing some of your deepest doubts.

2001: A Space Odyssey is already playing on the TV when you arrive. Despite it being one of your favorite movies of all time, and his, you’re not mad it was already halfway through when you arrived. It wasn’t your main priority to rewatch it for the 17th time tonight.

He offers you some wine, which you accept to ease the nerves. You sit on his couch, and he shares the cozy space with you, now mindlessly throwing one of his arms around your shoulders. You cuddle up to him, and everything seems peaceful in the world for a while.

The tip of his fingers softly caress your lifted knee, absentmindedly. You couldn’t help but notice how well his body fits with yours, how your skin was apparently made for him to touch, and the anxiety rumbles in your stomach like a storm in a wild wavy sea. After some minutes, you raise your head, his big brown eyes meeting yours as if asking you a silent question. You leaned up a bit more to press your lips to his, in a silent answer. The sweetness in him makes this moment as precious as every other moment you ever shared with him. His hands enter your hair, making you shiver a bit from the unfamiliarity and the electricity of it all - but it doesn’t sway you from deepening the kiss, wanting more of his taste, more of this, more of him.

“Do you wanna take this to the bed?” He whispers, after noticing your moans were becoming more frequent and needy. You nod, and you are taken by surprise when he carries you bridal style to it, hiding your excited giggles in his broad shoulders.

Graham wasn’t exactly the most organized man in the world - so the fact that his bedroom was now impossibly tidy was something that positively caught your attention. He put some planning into this. He lays you down and you part your legs, beckoning him to meet you between them. He does, and you go back to the breathtaking makeout session. You notice he’s holding himself back a bit, taking his time, his warm tongue moving smoothly, not hurriedly, against yours. His self control falters a bit though, given how he can’t stop grinding against you. You follow the rhythm of his hips a bit timidly and not nearly as in sync as you’d really like, though the pressure his covered cock is creating against your core can already be felt and some particular thrusts are able to fill at least partially the aching, wet need growing within you.

“How do you feel about oral?” He asks, breath warm near your ear, his voice raspy and spent by his desire for you.

“Um… It would be my first time receiving or doing it.”

“Would you like me to go down on you?”

“Wow. I never thought I would hear you saying something like that.” You smile, still assimilating the situation you’re in, trying not to show how badly his voice is affecting you. “Sure.”

“I never thought I would get to propose this to you. Aren’t we full of surprises lately.” He smiles back, warmly. He notices your hands trembling a bit from how anxious you are while you’re taking off your underwear with his help, and as he lowers himself to where you need him most, he takes your hands in his as an act of reassurance. “Tell me what you like. Tell me if what I’m doing works for you. I want this to be a great experience.”

“You want me to get addicted to you, that’s what you want,” He chuckles, lovingly kissing your thigh as a reply. “Okay, Gra. Guess I’ll find out along the way.”

You quickly take a peak below you to see the lower half of his face disappear in the middle of your thighs. The sight alone sets your fire ablaze, as he hooks his arms around your thighs and lifts you closer to his mouth, his lips ghosting over the curls between your legs tantalizingly and his breath catching when your hips jerk forward.

As he begins his ministrations, you immediately notice it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt. That feeling was completely alien to you. It was even wetter than you expected, and weird, but powerfully pleasant. Before this exact moment, you had a firm belief that hardly anyone else would make you feel the same way, or better, than you do yourself, but apparently you were very wrong. Thankfully you were wrong. “My god,” you gasp as the flat of his tongue drags over your folds, too much and not enough, and you jerk at the contact. “This is great. So weird, but-- great.”

He moans at your response, his movements carefully enthusiastic. He works his tongue between your folds and traces up to curl the tip of it around your clit, and it’s quite endearing and madly arousing to see how he eats out you like you’re the sweetest and tastier dessert he has ever tasted. You involuntarily buck against him with a desperate sound the moment he moves his tongue and lips in a particularly wicked way, something that definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by him, but you still feel the need to highlight in case it didn’t - “That. Keep doing that, please,”

And he does. The building of this climax is also different than the ones you already had by your own hands, and is more coy. As he sees the drops of sweat sliding along your soft skin and the expressions on your face as you get lost in this new but enchanting sensations, his hesitation and self-control fades away; there’s nothing uncertain in the way he buries his face in your cunt now, nothing restrained in the groan he lets out as he devours you and drinks you down as if you’re the first stream of water he has seen in days.

His tongue glides deeper in your folds again and again, swirling up through the wetness you’re coated with to tease at your clit while he grunts and strains closer, squeezing your thighs with both hands tight. The wave of heat inside of you is cresting so fast, you don't even know how to tell him, how to signal that you’re nearly done for and, in the end, it happens too fast to even try. He sucks at your clit, circling it with his tongue, once, twice, and then you’re crying out, shaking underneath him, trying to keep your thighs from clenching too hard around his head as he laps you through it with with urgent whimpers and moans, as if he cannot have enough of you.

You’re still trembling when he rises, the look on his face revealing to you how proud he feels by making you feel this way. It looks so good on him.

You fail miserably at the simple task of connecting words together after that, choosing instead to collect your remaining strength, prop yourself up and beckon him again to keep kissing him and learn, through his talented tongue, how you taste. He kisses the thin fabric of the shirt at your chest that covers you from view, your throat, your jaw, and before he reaches your impatient lips, he notes, sinfully, “Seems like you enjoyed yourself, love.”

“That was… unbelievable. Stars, I want to make you feel good too. Please show me how.”

“Keep kissing me,” he begs, voice still strained from how aroused he is. “I want to be inside you so bad. Let’s get you prepared.” You’re still so sensitive, you tread on overstimulation when his fingers lightly touch your clit, making you break the kiss in a hiss. He traces a line on your folds, inspecting the impact his mouth had on you. “So wet for me.”

“Bit slower, Gra,” He complies to your breathy plea, his fingers now more tame as he slowly spreads your wetness throughout your pussy. He stretches towards the nightstand to grab a bottle of lube, interrupting his contact to spread some on his fingers before unhurriedly slipping his middle finger inside of you. The coldness of the gel makes you shiver in surprise, the easiness brought by it very welcomed. Again - the sensation is odd. Completely unfamiliar. The feeling of having something inside of you for the first time, going further than you ever dared to try, probing, exploring; the coldness of the lube clashing against your burning hot cunt. But it also felt nice. The focused look on his face was adorable, he looked like he was a scientist in the middle of very complex research.

Despite the panting, the messy hair and the fire in his eyes.

Your body already has a lot of new sensations to process simultaneously, so when he asks you to take off your bra and shirt so his tongue can work on your nipples - which you gladly accept, you feel like you’re on sensual overload. His tongue, again, so talented, takes your mind off the slight burning you feel when he introduces his ring finger to your soaked, throbbing core, his focused, carefully overpowering and constant stimulation driving you insane.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, voice muffled by your breast. You nod, carried by the wave of pleasure sweeping you.

“Yes. God, yes.” You pant, tangling your fingers tightly on his thick hair as an encouragement, a desperate sound escaping from your lips the moment he reaches a certain point within you you didn’t even know existed, hot mouth continuing to lick and suck your nipple. Even though you were spent by your last orgasm, he was indeed getting you addicted to those new feelings, and even though this was heavenly, truly heavenly, you needed more. “Gra, I’m ready, I think.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Please.”

Releasing your nipple from his lips with a sounding pop, he eagerly frees himself from his trousers - hard as a brick - and puts protection and lubrication on, swiftly positioning himself between your thighs while stroking himself to the sight in front of him. You motion to take off your skirt, and he holds your hand, not letting you. “Don’t. It’ll be really hot to fuck you in this.” He confesses, giving your forehead a kiss in a very different context than before. He aligns his forehead with yours, each of your lips just barely touching while you breathe each other’s air. He looks deep into your eyes, slowly running the tip of his cock between the slick folds of your pussy, coating himself in the remnants of your pleasure. “Do you trust me?”

You trust me to know your limits? Not to go any further if you don’t really want me to?

“Absolutely.”

The only response you get from him is a shuddering, helpless moan into your mouth and you hold him tighter to you, grinding your still sensitive cunt up against his cock while he pulls hard at the soft fur next to your head. You feel your soaking pussy lips part around the solid curve of his length and gradually coat the underside of him in slick with every gentle circle and roll your hips make, as he finally pulls away from your mouth to drop his forehead to your neck. He then, very slowly, penetrates you, stopping when he hears the noises you make indicating you’re struggling to adjust to his presence. Out of everything you’ve felt in the last minutes, this was by far the most painful sensation. “This-- is new,” you note, your face completely incapable of hiding the discomfort. He also notices that.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

“It’s okay. I’ll get used to it.”

“It’s not supposed to be about endurance, you know.” He says, a bit breathless and worried, caressing your hair. “Tell me when it’s okay to move. Or if you feel too much pain.”

After some long seconds and some deep breaths, you say: “Okay. Go on.”

“As you wish.”

He moves inside you at a very slow pace, the lubrication clearly making it easier for you to handle it. It still hurts, significantly, but the sensation of being filled is also surprisingly arousing.

His hand moves to your sensitive clit again in small, measured circles, your little moans being a mixture of the pain of penetration and the sheer ecstasy of seeing him falling apart because of you. The way his chest heaves while the drops of sweat start pearling his fair skin, the furrowed brows and broken groans, the thickness of him as he rests heavy up against your entrance, the way his voice presses deliciously tight in his throat as he gasps out into the quiet room - everything’s making your chest burst in love and satisfaction. You tighten your grip around him and roll your hips up into his cock, letting it break you open nice and slow; it stretches you wide with a deliciously sharp fullness and pleasure rips through you, and Graham becomes even more vocal as he picks up a steady and gradually faster pace. He turned all of your keys, it’s about time you turn some of his.

“Graham, deeper,” you whimper, continuing to tighten your legs and hoist yourself up, lifting your hips to take his cock deeper inside you. His name rips itself from your throat while Coxon clenches his jaw and starts to lose himself in the pleasure, holding you down into the bed while he allows your desperation to guide him to the perfect angle and speed to sate you. He found denying you to be impossible.

He snarls and curses as he holds you down and rails you, determined to make you sing again before he finishes, and to his delight, your heightened sensitivity gives him what he wants. And this time, he couldn't hold on.

Graham kisses you one last time as he groans and gives in, head dropping to your neck again. You didn’t reach a second climax, but stars, what an experience you just had.

When he comes back to himself enough to realise he still had you practically folded in half, he carefully pulls his softening cock free, taking the condom off and taking the strands of hair out of your face as you struggle to catch your breath. You suggest a shared bath, a suggestion he gladly accepts.

Too tired and too sore for pillow talk, comfortable silence falls as your hand finds his, and you lay, listening to each other’s breathing slowly settle.

I could get used to his little snore on my chest, is the last thought that twinkles on your mind before you fall asleep snuggled with him.

#graham coxon #alex james #damon albarn #dave rowntree #blur #britpop #smut #imagine #reader insert #graham coxon x reader #graham x reader #y/n #fluff #au #fanfiction #blur band

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hysokaz · 3 years

Text

i cant HATE hanzo because i dont think that he meant to do what he did but his whole fight with gon was just a HORRIBLE lesson to gon. he 1000% internalised everything that happened theres just no way that he didnt. being told over and over again that he cant win, that he needs to give up, and having countless adults just stand around and not say or do anything. like i know i know its part of the exam it HAS to test his mental skill but its fucking cruel the only person helping him or showing that they care is leorio, killua, and kurapika. everyone else is literally turning their heads from him. hes getting told that theres no way he could win as hes fucking bleeding and all of his senses are fucked up. he cant see, he cant hear out of one ear, he cant get up, he has a broken arm, his nose just got busted and he still tries to fight, he doesnt give up, and he tells leorio that hes fine. its nothing he cant handle.

hes screaming out in pain and no one is doing anything. they might stare in shock or they might show that they litearlly cant stand to watch gon but gon litearlly cant SEE. gon is stubborn to all hell and he wont give up.

the fight does a couple of things.

by eventually winning, it teaches him that he can keep going. he can have absolutely no strength in his body and he still will force himself to try and recover and try to fight. i could see gon exhausting himself to death because of this mindset. he will force himself over and over and he refuses to give up no matter what and he will only ever use his own strength and try to win. he goes through the thought that hanzo wouldnt cut off his legs because that would make him bleed out-- he doesnt think about how horrific it would be to have his legs cut off, its not like he doesnt take it seriously, but he doesnt take his own life seriously. he doesnt CARE. he would rather die than not be a hunter.

people praise him when he does well in the fight, and that teaches him that all he has to do is keep going. all he has to do is do good and he will be fine. all he has to do is keep getting back up and people will love him and he'll be admired. and all of this because of his dad, because he wants to find his dad, and i think the fight also teaches him that his father would eventually praise him for all of his efforts.

by hanzo still being nice, and not actually wanting to kill gon, pleading with him over and over again that hes not going to quit, that gon is going to die if he continues... and then hanzo pussing out and not doing it like that plants the idea in his head that the "bad guys" or the people that he has to fight ARENT that bad, i believe. this ones a hunch. i think that this will put it in gons head that eventually he will come out on top because his opponents cant be the worst people inside of their hearts, that they wouldnt kill him. you can bring up that gon refuses to take an easy win, that gon NEEDS to have a fair fight, but that doesnt really change anything. subconsciously, i think gon has a bit of an overconfidence that he cannot die. hisoka didnt kill him, hanzo didnt kill him, genthru didnt kill him, whatever and whoever didnt kill him. he wont die. i think that if gon ever accepted that he COULD die, like truly let it set in, then he would lose part of himself. i think gon refuses to truly have it in his head that he COULD die because i think that would admit defeat. i know that gon knows he can die, but his mortality and his own life is not serious to him because thats not a concern to him. his concern is his father and his friends.

by his friends being the only ones to outwardly show support, by being the ones who would scream out and tell him to quit, by him hearing them and knowing in his heart theyre barely holding themselves back to save him, their bond grows. i dont want to say thats unfortunate... but its kind of unfortunate. i dont want their bond and friendship to grow over feelings of pain and anguish, but thats what happens. he hears their cries and i know he internalises it as strength for him to keep going. the desperation that his friend show him only makes him be committed to them more. gon doesnt need verbal support, he barely needs people to tell him they like him. after all killua is his closest friend not because killua says nice things to gon and tells him sweet things or anything like that-- he and killua are best friends because of their actions. killua is committed to gon. gon knows that. he trusts killua because of that. gon sees the things his friends do for him, and it makes him want to match those exact things as well.

hanzos age is also a small thing, but a big thing at the same time. hanzo does mention his age to gon as a side note, but gon brings it up as a main point. he talks about how hanzo is only six years older than him. he doesnt keep going with that point, but i think his brain does do something with it. gon ends up putting that as motivation, i know he wants to match hanzos strength. he probably wants to be better than hanzo, stronger and more skilled. if gon got to hanzos age and was weaker than him i think he would hate himself for it. gon has unreasonably high expectations of himself, and age matters to him in the way that he needs to be stronger than everyone else. yes, to make his father proud and to thank him, but i know its also so he can protect his friends and family as well.

even what killua eventually eventually does, just that small thing of drawing hanzos face on the ground and saying that gon is nowhere near his strength... thats just basically forcing gon to compare himself to hanzo (something i know killua didnt mean as a bad thing). hanzo isnt the biggest threat that gon has ever had to deal with; i dont think that he has made THE absolute most impact, but i HAVE to think about it in this sense: gons spirit is...strong. but hisoka wounds it when he gives him an "easy win" and passes gon his badge. this makes gon deal with a bunch of self worth issues for a few days straight... and then hanzo goes and does all of that to him. had it been separate from everything that hisoka did i think that it mightve not hurt as much, but all of the stress i know went to his head. the end of the hunter exams were some of the most impactful yet painful events for gon, at least thats what seems to show once you looka t the behaviour that follows. i cant hate hanzo because i know he didnt mean to make gon develop the way he did. but i think hanzos fight did horrible damage to the way gon thinks.

#90s series analysis again but tbh it goes for 11s as well #by the way i think that gon is so selfless its litearlly killing him and i am sad over it #he loves his friends so much but its costing him his own health he just. he will jsut keep going. no matter what.#oh hey just watching and i wanted to say actually borodo appreciation here... like he litearlly gave up just so hisoka wouldnt go and fight #killua.. like hello okay. decent adult for once.#like him saying that its not honourable for someone like him to fight hcildren..like i love you i wish you hadnt died #i think it does say. something about the way the hxh world works. people who have morals and arent willing to hurt the vulnerable litearlly #will die over it.. :(#okay actually laughing at the way theyre saying gittarackur .. gitta-racka-rur..JSRJGKJSRKJG LIKEMGRM #anyways . i just know im going to start hating illumi on this post and that will get to be too much so im nott going to keep going #ok wait one single thing. hes so fucking stupid i hate the way he dresses and stands i want to push him over and watch him fall i bet he wo #wouldnt even react...god i hate illumi...#hxh meta #god this was long #OKYA IMS ORRY I KNOW I SAID I WOULDNT BUT GUESS WHAT IM PISSED OFF AT ILLUMI AGAIN HES SO MEAN AND I HAVE BROTHER ISSUES AND ISM IM GOING T #TEAR HIS HAIR OUT WITH MY HANDS #okay i need to stop its 4:25 and i need to wake up in a few hours #hxh #gon freecss #hanzo #also what does it say about me that i wrote this on one go without even stopping the anime but its taken me a couple of hours to gather my #thoughts about a hisoka meta. why can i suddenly write sometimes but othertimes its just i dont know what keys to put together #man why iddnt i have this brain when i had to write an 10 pager for english last year helll me

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the-tiniest-one · 3 years

Text

Late Night Office Visit: Confessions of the Copy Ninja

Kakashi X Reader

This is my first post so go easy on me. Its just a little fluffy/smut I wrote while thinking about it. Tell me what you think and thank you so much for reading!

***

Your office is tinted in soft warm light from the small lamp by your desk. A candle burning near your desk is scented for the fall season, October is here in the village and it’s starting to get chilly. You had dressed comfortably for work, an over-sized lavender hoody and long black leggings that covered your socked feet with knitted dark grey boots. Your (h/l,h/c) in a messy bun.

It’s no secret that Kakashi is a man of routine.

His routine had recently begun to include trips to your office. Usually to tease you. You being a night owl, around 1am like clockwork when he was home from missions, he will indulge in a “random and unplanned”, unannounced visit, usually involving some kind of failed attempt at sneaking in and trying his best at scaring you. You expect his shit by now though.

During his visit both you and he compete to best the other in a battle of “who can make the other blush” during the private office conversations.

“So why are you always working so late” kakashi asked, wandering around the office, picking up a book from the shelf and thumbing it lazily. “Dont you have a boyfriend to go home to?”

The question was bold.

“No”. A short yet devilishly innocent sounding reply from you, while looking at your mound of papers littering your desk, followed by deafening silence.

“What a shame” Kakashi says almost no variation in tone.

The tension is strangling you.

Feeling a little bit bold as well, you decide to lay the innocent act on as thick as possible

“I guess it is a shame. It gets so lonely in my little apartment...If only I had someone to come home to... It’s too bad. I bet you probably have lots of company waiting for you to get home and keep them warm.” you reply with a grin.

Standing and walking over to the large window Kakashi came into the office through, leaning forward to close it, the cool October air giving you a chill.

Turning around, almost in an instant, Kakashi was behind you. Wrapping both hands in your hair with breath taking tenderness. His lips pressing against yours….expressing desperation and need. You had been dreaming of this moment for months, your tongue pushing through his lips first. Both of you searching for security in each others kiss.

When he pulled back to look at you, you kept your eyes closed for a moment. savoring the first time.

The first time that you knew, as silly as it sounded....As much as you hated the idea that you could be so deeply invested before his lips ever touched yours....the first time that the man you could feel in your blood was your perfect match...Your soulmate kissed your lips.

When you did finally open your eyes, the worried look carved across his perfect masked features was too clear. “Was that okay?” he asked, clearly worried to hear the answer.

Without verbally responding, you crashed into his lips again. This time wrapping your legs around his waist and pushing your hands through his unruly hair.

Within seconds your back hit the desk gently, his hands wandering under your hoody. His calloused thumbs running over your nipples, causing you to moan quietly into his open mouth.

His lips left yours quickly finding your jawline, just behind your ear, “I have wanted to kiss you from the instant that I first saw you”. he whispered.

You blushed... “six months does feel like a long time” you respond quietly.

He stops kissing for a moment to look at you inquisitively, (your tits still fully engulfed in his large hands). “6 months?” he asks confused.

“Yeah, when we first met?” You reply slightly embarrassed by his exasperated expression.

He looks at you with even more embarrassment and his soul bared just under the surface of his clear pretty eyes,

“Oh, well uh...you see, I was talking about the very first time that I first saw you...like ever ...back at the Academy.” Said Kakashi

“What” you said, thinking back....Kakashi, and the other mutual friends you two shared from his graduating class like Guy and Asuma.... were two years above you. You cant remember ever having seen him at the Academy or even when you and your team had grown and gone on countless missions together. You would remember him, you know it. It wasn't as though he wasn't around...He was just such a private guy (and you were a private girl), and he had spent so many years in the special ANBU division or...away from other people in general.

Even though you’d never met in person until about 6 months ago, you’d heard of the famous copy ninja almost your whole life. His sinister reputation was known throughout the hidden nations.

“How long?” you ask breathless...nervous to hear the answer.

“Hmmm lets see...I guess it would be the day you graduated from the Academy... I was passing by, headed to turn in a mission report when they posted the list.” he replied in a more confident tone.

“I watched you never stop to check it. You already knew you made it. Everyone else clamoring for a look at the list, and I heard you tell another student...”Im going to become a chunin, then a jonin, then Hokage. To protect the person I love someday”.

Your stomach did somersaults. You remembered the moment he was quoting..... but as hard as you tried to place him, he wasn’t there in your memory of that day.

Head spinning... you were an early academy graduate, 8 years old when you made genin. You were 27 now….That means Kakashi Hatake has loved you almost your entire life...without you ever having met you.

You forced him back down onto your lips while simultaneously unzipping his flack jacket. Then pulling his shirt over his head to reveal his perfect torso.

He undressed you however, much more slow and methodically, only a bra under your hoody, quickly unclasping it and throwing it to the side. Then your leggings, finally while kissing down your neck to your breasts, he pulled your panties off and put them in his pocket.

His mouth making slow circles around your nipples. You noticed how wet you were when his right hand slid from your tits to your hip, then to your slit...he giggled as he quickly fingered and teased the outside of your soaked pussy.

“Please kashi” you gasped, maybe louder than you wanted for the office building you were currently being ravaged in.

His slow kisses moved down to your panty line. Lips dancing along your skin in perfect rhythm with his hands teasing you.

“Please what?” he asked with an almost stern inflection

At first you didnt reply, only writhing under him.

But the shock of a slap on your inner thigh made you almost scream with desire.

“Please what” he asked again while resuming the kisses to your belly.

Please let me cum you said, almost at a whisper.

Just like that his mouth was on you. Licking your clit at first, an eternity of teasing you nearly to tears. Then he started sucking you with a ferocity that bordered on desperation.

You were a mess. You couldn’t even begin to form coherent thoughts when you felt his tip graze your pussy lips.

“You looked into his eyes, and he waited for confirmation.”

The second you nodded he began. Slowly dipping in and out, first the tip, then slowly incorporating more of himself. Making sure you were comfortably adjusted before adding another half inch or so. The care in which he conducted himself was nothing short of impressive...however it was driving you insane. You needed to be fucked. You wrapped your legs around him, forcing him as deep as he would go, catching him off guard...if only due to his extreme focus on your perfect pussy.

He gasped at the sudden tight warmth around his cock, looking up at you as you rocked your hips to help him along.

It didnt take more than a minute at most before you laced your hand into his…

“Im so close, kashi...can I please cum?”

Surprised and fully turned on by the request, his thumb hit your clit, fast circles helping you along.

“Cum on my cock (y/n). I want your pretty pussy to cum for me”

And like that you snapped, quivering and writhing on your desk while he followed almost immediately, soaking your insides with his hot seed.

You laid motionless, gasping for air and seeing stars….

He kissed your nipples again, still inside you, making you jump from the overstimulation.

Finally resting on your chest while your hands wandered through his hair.

“I wanted to do that for an eternity” he said still catching his breath.

“Well I let me grant that wish” you say with a giggle. “An eternity it is”.

#kakashi #kakashi x reader smut lemon #kakashi x reader #kakashi x female reader #slightdom

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yomiurinikei · 2 years

Note

I'm very very bad at wording things so sorry if this isn't good-

This fandom can be very overwhelming. It's okay if you're stressed and you're allowed to be. It's understandable. While I can't properly relate, as I only found this game when only Chapter 6 wasn't fully translated, and only actually started to engage with the fans recently, this fandom probably has changed a lot. Especially considering how long you've been here.

(And now with Danganronpa Players like Weebly Newz and others playing the games there will be people who have no clue about anything with LINJU, or any past events in this fandom. Whether that's for better or worse depends really.)

It's okay to feel anxious over your past fears. It hard not to be. I think you're a really cool person, with everything you done on your blog. It's so cool to read these analysis! But it you need to stop, then that's okay.

Very glad to hear you are alright, but if you're stressed/worried, a mental break is highly recommended. As an anon who enjoys what you've done.

Take care.

i talked a bt about how much this means to me and its still so so so so lovely to hear but my brain is going wheeee and like. oh my god

i started watching weebys streams when she was first starting dra cuz i know shes a rlly big dr user and so tons of people would be getting into dra and like... i wanted to see what the vibe was?

i was soooo glad she was like. taking mitchs scene with akane seriously and calling it what it was and not going "oh but i like him soooo idc what he did!" and that was so nice. and then later streams there was the whole "cult of mitch stans" in her streams and everything and that was :/ to not see. yk. stanning a sexual harasser being treated as Gross, and so i stopped watching but kept like,, an eye vaguely on her streams? and seeing her go from "it was so gross what mitch did and thats not okay, i dont like him because of that" to "giving into the mitch stans haha!!! cuz.. thats okay that there's countless people stanning a sexual harasser in my streams!!" was just. :////////

i reaaaally wish that she. had stuck with not vibing with him and acknowledging that that was messed up, but. she didnt, and that sucks.

anyways!!!!! thank u so so so much for your kind words, it really means a lot to hear <33 anon singlehandedly saving my desire to post sdra content /lh (but more seriously, singlehandedly saving my esteem/genuinely making me feel like people care about/enjoy my analyses thank u so much-)

#mitsuhiro higa #<- for blacklist

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ultrastellara · 4 years

Note

hi i saw that you were taking requests if you aren’t anymore feel free to ignore this!! if you are then can i get a kirishima x bakugou’s sister how would bakugou react thanks and i hope you have a great day!! :)

sorry for my lateness but pls dont worry, i love getting requests! and enjoy the scenario that you wanted , lovely!

DATING KIRISHIMA AS BAKUGOU'S SISTER

kirishima x bakugou's sister reader

fluff , cuteness, & friends to lovers <3

the beginning

i think being bakugou's sister isnt that easy

bakugou wouldnt be the type of sibling to hand you the toy that you desperately wanted

he also seems the type to also make you jealous because of his grades or brag about how his quirk is way more awesome than yours

mistuki and masaru were grateful that they were able to have a daughter, so you were mostly the spoiled child out of the family

you werent snotty or arrogant because bakugou took over that job for you

between you and bakugou, you shared a two year difference

you were the kinder sibling, the one who would give the toy to bakugou

you were also the one who would give your money to bakugou if he forgot his lunch money

now when it he attended UA, you were attending middle school still

you acknowledged that bakugou was childhood friends with midoriya

you remembered all the play dates they had and the moments they shared over all might

you would always try to come into their conversations, trying to make friends with midoriya

midoriya wouldnt talk back much but when he tried to, bakugou would tell you to go away

bakugou really hated the fact that you would tried to be his friend

so he would purposely give excuses or things for you to do or go with

you didnt know he hated the idea with you hanging out with his own best friend

but he simply hated it, because he found you " annoying "

as bakugou attended UA, he would always or sometimes bring home his best friend kirishima

now let me tell you that, kirishima wasnt exactly like midoriya

kirishima would cut bakugou off if he tried telling you to go back to your room

but you just wanted to make friends that's all

kirishima wasnt the type to ignore what you wanted to say

he would actually listen to you and chat with you

" so are you also a fan of all might, kirishima ?" you asked

" hmm not really but crimson riot is my favorite hero!" he said cheerfully

bakugou would always leave the room whenever you two talked

the only time where you didnt talk to kirishima was when bakugou and him would have study sessions in his room

you would stop by once in a while to give them food or drinks

sometimes you'll chat with kirishima but very minimal

you respected him and he respected you too

on days where him and bakugou arent studying they're probably playing games

now during those times you would always stay in bakugou's room just to talk to kirishima about the things you learned in school that day

did bakugou get irritated? yeah

but he wouldnt bother you and kirishima, since he felt okay with you hanging out with his best friend

during their game sessions , you would always be next to kirishima watching him as he played the game

your eyes would be focused on the screen, however once in a while you would look at kirishima and admire his face

you thought no one in the room would notice this small habit

until you caught bakugou giving you a disgusted look

the look of ' stop looking at him you're being so fucking weird '

you would always give him back a happy smile to just piss bakugou off but you didnt stop this habit after that encounter

ever since that encounter of just looking at kirishima, you slowly started to want to see him everyday

it didnt scare or catch bakugou off guard because he only viewed you and kirishima as friends too

kirishima never saw you annoying or stupid like how bakugou did

" hey katsuki, is kirishima coming today?" you ask as you're standing near his doorway

" yeah, what about it dumbie?" he would annoyingly reply

" oh nothing just asking that's all " you would run off to your room and waited for kirishima

the middle

bakugou would be hella honest to kirishima about how you are as his sister

honestly kirishima did see you like the way bakugou did

annoying, clingy, and stupid

until the first day he was able to meet you and get to know you as bakugou's sister

boy was bakugou wrong about you

you werent all the things bakugou had told him, he found you fun and kind

you were fun to talk to about heroes you both admired

your kindness when you would always bring him and bakugou their snack and drinks

those traits of you really did catch him off guard

as he got to learn more about you, he found more things he slowly wished he could spend more time with

your beauty was one of them, you had a bright smile whenever you said hello to him

that cheerful laugh and your adorable blush whenever kirishima would compliment about the outfit you had that day

slowly as time passed, he was finding you more as a person than just the title ' bakugou's sister '

as it hit his third year at being UA, you started to attend UA like your brother

he would usually see you hanging out with your friends in the hallways

it was your first year at UA, you werent like the girl that kirishima knew years ago

you still had that smile and laugh but your personality had expanded beautifully

you would hang out with the bakusquad sometimes

you still had cling onto kirishima talking to him like you usually would

you and kirishima have grown closer and could be best friends too

bakugou didnt really care for you hanging out with kirishima since he realized that no matter what he could do you would always find your ways to the shark boy

your friends at UA were suspicious when you told them that you were friends with kirishima

countless times you would always drag your friend over to you while you would follow around your brother and kirishima

they would hear and see the conversations and many interactions that you and kirishima had

they did think that your bond with him was adorable since he was your upperclassman until later on in the year

they wanted to tell you what they had thought of you and him because let's be real, they were sorta tired of this obliviousness between you and kirishima

" you know y/n, you and kirishima seem pretty close to be best friends" your friend said

" yeah i mean i known him since i was in middle school" you stated

your friend gave you a curious look with a head tilt

" what i meant was that im started to think you might have feelings for him. i know you both dont flirt openly but just the way that he looks at you, it seems like hes giving you the look of ' hey youre cute and maybe you and i could be closer than before "they stated

now that changed your view of kirishima

let's just say your friend mightve been right about you and kirishima

the next following week, whenever you had seen him in the hallways or even just think of kirishima

your heart would always beat rapidly

your cheeks were usually flushed with pink and bits of red

you were always all over the place with the conversations you had with him

things were slowly changing of how you looked at him

you never thought of liking him because you didnt see him as a person for you to end up with

you had an ideal type but

i think your ideal type was the definition of kirishima written all over it

kirishima noticed your small changes in how you talked to him but he didn't think of your blushing too much

he understood that you were going through puberty so maybe it was just a normal thing for girls to do with guys

it wasnt until he heard your friend talking to you about kirishima

" im not sure, i feel like me liking or possibly liking kirishima... i think maybe it wont work out.." your voice was spoken softly

" maybe but you never know until you try. i get that he is a upperclassman and that many girls could be after him but he is your brother's best friend and your best friend too. if you really like him, i think you should go for it. unless hes taken but seeing the times hes been hanging out with you i doubt he has a partner" he heard them saying.

she likes me ? he thought to himself with red hues coming onto his cheeks

he felt bad for dropping in to hear your conversation about him but he couldnt help himself but think more of this

he knew that you were younger than him but he never saw you in a sisterly way

he always looked at you as a person or more specifically a woman

he didnt mind thinking of you liking him however the only part of him that got him wanting to stop having you on his mind was that

how would it work out ?

and how would bakugou react?

he really wanted to talk to you about it but seeing how uncertain you were about these feelings for him, he decided to try to get your attention and see that he too, had possible feelings for you

the pining

ever since he heard that conversation between you and your friend

he would subtlety leave you small hints

sometimes he would ask if he could take your backpack and hold it for you

during the study sessions between him and bakugou, whenever you would come into their dorm room ( with mr aizawa's permission ) he would ask if he could lean against your shoulder when he would get tired from the countless hours of studying

you would always say yes to his offers

you said yes to it because one, you were having crazy feelings for him but two, you thought it was really sweet of him to ask you for these things

you never had any other guy to ask you these offers, kirishima was the first one

as these small interactions started to happen, you caught yourself hearing a conversation between kirishima and bakugou

" you like my sister ?" bakugou asked.

" uhh...what made you think that?" kirishima nervously asked.

you were hiding from the corner away from the hallway where your brother and kirishima stood.

" oi, shitty hair its fucking obvious" he states.

" haha...how did you know ?" Kirishima nervously replied with a fear of look on his face.

" come on you and my sister, i see the way you look at her and the interactions you have with her. i mean im fine with you to date her but shitty hair, if you hurt her feelings or hurt her in anyway i will blast you " bakugou leans in closely to kirishima, giving him a glare.

" so uh most importantly you're okay with me wanting to date your sister ?"

" yeah as long you treat her right shitty hair"

after that conversation with bakugou and kirishima, your face was really red

the confession

kirishima's confession to you was simple

he wanted to tell you when you and him had some alone time away from anyone else

" hey can i talk to you, y/n?" kirishima asks you.

" sure kiri!" you reply back.

kirishima leads you to the hallways where nobody was seen. his face was slowly becoming dark red and he was fidgeting with his hands.

he was nervous. you started to get sorta suspicious of him acting like this but you couldnt jump to conclusions until you heard what he had to tell you.

" you know , im not sure if you know but i wanted to tell you that i think i been liking yo-"

" i know, kiri. " you truthfully told him.

" you know what?" he asks.

" i know you like me" you smiled at him with a chuckle, " it's cute but i accidentally heard you talking to katsuki about me. i apologize for walking in to hear that but-"

you were caught off guard because the next thing you saw that was coming at you. you felt a warm hug and kiss on your forehead by him. you didn't realize he was holding you this close and had kissed you on the forehead. however your cheeks were speaking what your mouth couldn't produce.

" no please y/n, im glad you found out by then. i actually had overheard a conversation between you and your friend about me" he was looking at you with his eyes focused on your eyes," it was cute. really really cute. but since we know how we feel about each other. ill wait for you after i graduate" he states.

your eyes soften as you heard the word 'wait'. you never had experience anything like this especially finding yourself waiting for your brother's best friend to date you after you graduate UA.

" you'll wait for me? are you sure about that, kiri?" you asked him, your hands were softly caressing his cheeks.

"of course. i mean i dont think i want to give myself away to anyone else but you, y/n" he give a reassuring smile before kissing your forehead again.

" let's wait for each other okay?" he hands his pinky finger for you. you take your pinky finger out, both creating a pinky promise.

the dating and reaction of bakugou

after you graduated and became a pro hero like kirishima and your brother, bakugou

you were happily dating the hardening hero, ejiro kirishima

you both had time for each other on the weekends

movie nights would happen, cuddling sessions and sometimes even cooking sessions too

your hands were always held against his and kissed by him too

you were there for him whenever he had insecurities of his quirk

and he was there for you to lean onto when you had moments of your own insecurities too

but you both balanced each other out

your first kiss with him was shared on your half way mark to your first anniversary of dating

then by the full year mark, you both had kissed so much

you often wore his clothes and shared the things you learned from your online classes

he shared his memories at work with his agency and

it felt like the memories you and him shared when you were in middle school

now bakugou, when he first saw you both together once as a couple

as a couple i said not as " friends "

let's say that he was utterly disgusted when he saw his best friend running over to you, kissing you on the forehead

"DISGUSTING! THATS SO FUCKING GROSS JESUS CHRIST !" he had to walk away from the both of you.

he was happy for you and happy for his best friend

but mostly for you, because

he was your older brother and you were his sister but

he didnt ever want to see you hurt from his best friend

sure he bullied you and was a little brat towards you but only he could make you try or feel hurt

if it was someone else like kirishima, he would be hella disappointed in him but also would feel shitty about himself

he doesn't like admiting he cares for you and wants to protect you

but if he can protect you from a far or tell you something to prevent you from getting hurt

that's all he cared for

because from the day he saw you looking at kirishima, he knew that you had to be with his best fiend than anyone else

besides he was ok with you being next to kirishima in the past

and now hes relieved that someday his best friend will be marrying his baby sister

that's all he could care for

#bnha #bnha headcanons #bnha scenarios #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha fluff #kirishima x reader #kirishima ejirou #mha kirishima #kirishima x y/n #bakugou's sister #fluff #kirishima fluff

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