#and probably pearl as well and maybe cleo

[calico-kiwi]

every joel smallishbeans video i become more obsessed with joel smallishbeans

[dredgesnails]

stardew valley au where joel and skizz are new residents to pelican town (hermit town?). joel just inherited a large farm from his late grandfather and skizz is moving in with his old friend after reconnecting with him and wanting a fresh start. and the townspeople are like, kinda weird.

bdubs is fine enough - he’s a sweet man with a fun personality and he’s the local builder, but it’s almost frightening how fast he constructs new buildings when joel needs them. pearl, their resident postmaster, is also pretty normal other than the fact that skizz never seems to be awake early enough to catch her delivering mail. scar is lovely but he’s never available when joel wants another chicken. the mayor, xisuma, is pleasant too, if a little eccentric at times, but he doesn’t really seem to do much in town.

for the most part, skizz is settling in well. he’s moved in with impulse, who runs the local blacksmith in town, and he gets along well with most of the local townspeople. he’s started spending his evenings at the local saloon listening to ren regale the patrons with fantastical tales while he and stress serve up food and drinks, and he finds himself growing close with cleo, the local sculptor. he even gets a new wardrobe from hypno free of charge, and sometimes helps cub out with his totally scientific studies and creations.

skizz also joins forces with beef (who helps to supply the local general store that xb and keralis run) in terrorising the local manager of the corporate chain grocery store that no one likes. doc is a terrible manager but would make a fun supervillain (according to joe hills, the bookseller who appears once in a blue moon but seems to know doc more than anyone in town).

joel, on the other hand, seems to only be interacting with the strangest residents in town. he discovers the adventurer’s guild after only a couple weeks, and is only somewhat irritated by iskall’s refusal to pronounce his name correctly. false promises to give him prizes if he can kill enough monsters, which is not something joel had expected to be doing when he pictured farm life, but here he is. he stumbles upon a travelling cart one day, and the man inside insists he’s a knight from a faraway land, that he risked his life to make it all the way here to sell his wares. it’s all stuff joel can get cheaper elsewhere.

he’s pretty sure the local doctor has no real medical training, but then he passes out while fighting monsters and he wakes up completely fine, so zedaph probably knows what he’s doing. maybe. when joel isn’t passing out he sometimes makes trips to the library-slash-museum, which is probably almost completely empty because mumbo, who begs joel for anything to display, looks like he’s never fought a duggie in his life. eventually mumbo gives joel a key to the sewers, which are way cooler than they have any right to be, and that’s where he finds jevin’s secret sewer shop. jevin lives in town. he just also has a shop hidden underground. joel has stopped asking questions by now.

and then there are the three who live by the beach. etho spends most of his time tinkering around the fishing hut or hovering around bdubs, but sometimes he drives the bus to the desert. only sometimes. there might be something under his mask. no one knows for sure. gem runs the fish shop most days and she claims she’s a sailor, but joel has never seen a single working boat around despite all the ocean. she can also hold her breath underwater for an uncannily long amount of time, like, scarily so, and will sometimes disappear for a few days and return with an abundance of treasures. joel has never seen her leave by boat. grian fishes a lot and runs the shop when gem can’t, and he sometimes talks as though the sea can speak to him. skizz has caught him staring into space for extended periods of time. one time he waded into the water and just stood there, head down, muttering to himself.

apparently there used to be a lighthouse but “it’s gone now”. gem says if they ask bdubs nicely enough maybe they can build another one, but she and grian are banned from build requests after the last incident with their pet snails (joel has never seen the snails, but scar complains about them enough to convince him they’re real).

there also might be some kind of wizard who lives in the creepy tower in the woods. skizz has heard he’s the one who helps maintain the power in the valley, and joel’s convinced he hallucinated seeing him once until he recieves a letter from the wizard himself, and visits him only to find that the strange fire-creature he saw that one time was, in fact, tango, who is human for the most part, he just sets himself on fire sometimes.

[theminecraftbee]

task: answer the following question. do you believe in curses? respond as completely with relevant information as possible.

Grian: Well, that's a lie. This isn't a task. I know it's not a task, I set the things up! Not sure why we're getting a question as pointless as this one, but sure, mysterious scroll, I'll answer. There's no such thing as curses, unless you're Timmy, in which case it's funny, yeah? Besides, I didn't actually kill Etho. Even if that did count, self-fulfilling prophecies aren't the same thing as curses, and I know which one I fall under.

Joel: Do I believe in bloody curses what kind of question is that? Do I really get hearts just for answering this? This feels like a prank or something... well, whatever. There are no such thing as curses, except the Boogeyman curse, which I sort of had today, but it wasn't actually the same at all. A lot of the bloodlust, sure, but a lot more... Etho had to be the one to do it, huh? And it's not the same. Not comforting. That's a stupid thing to say actually. Take it out of wherever you're putting this. Cut it out of the recording. Comforting. Please. As if it were ever... Yeah, I'm done actually. Don't have a good answer. Go away.

Scott: What, other than Jimmy? Bless that man, he may not have died first, but he sure tried his best. Sure, I'll believe Jimmy is cursed. I mean, mostly he's just kind of stupid. Lovingly so. I mean, despite him being stupid, I put up with him, right? That seems like a complete answer to this question. Jimmy's an omen but we put up with him anyway. That's all.

Mumbo: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.

Pearl: Oh, I mean, I'm probably cursed. That's what everyone liked to say at one point. I think... I mean, I think this time I have good friends, which is nice. They don't think I'm cursed. And it's not like I--I mean, it's surprisingly fun, acting cursed! And I am just acting. Acting scary, blowing up dance floors, all of that. And I don't really have to this time, so... Maybe I'm not cursed? And since it's acting, it's not real? This is a weird question.

Etho: Oh, man, that's a question. Um, do I have to answer? Because I feel like if I say no, that's really just asking for it, but if I say yes, I have to explain myself. Uh, I think I'm abstaining, unless the zombie thing from earlier counts. That was scary and I hated it. Curses are scary and I hate them in general, but apparently I'm good at them, if you ask everyone else. Um, it's not the only thing I find scary that apparently I'm good at.

Scar: Why, of course I believe in curses! Look at poor, poor... Timbert? Timmy? Jim? Gosh, sorry, I'm very tired right now. That's more proof of curses, by the way! That I'm tired. I've been tired straight since the desert, let me tell you what. And that, my friends, is a curse like no other. What a terrible beast, loneliness is. Wish me luck breaking it, because it's not happening this season!

Cleo: Oh, you mean the thing people like to blame instead of their own actions? Nah. My soulbond was kind of a curse, I guess, but even that's at least half just... bad people. Bad relationships. Good ones, too. We're all just doing what you can, you know? No script, no curses, no characters, just... Oh, I hope everything turns out tomorrow. Sorry, that's unrelated. It's just nicer to hope than to preemptively blame things on curses that don't exist.

Impulse: Well, I mean, I didn't until you just asked me that, but now I feel like I should. Wouldn't that be nice? Being cursed instead of just sort of unlovable? Sorry, no, that's mean to Gem. I shouldn't say that about Gem, she's been good this season. Super, super cursed, mind you, in the like, game mechanic sense? But she's been good, no backstabbing or inability to get love involved. Um, and I guess that's not fair to Bdubs, kind of, except it also totally is and I haven't forgiven him. So I guess if they ask I said I believed in curses, and that's why my life keeps circling clocks? Don't put any of that other stuff down, I'm trying to work on that.

Lizzie: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.

Gem: I was just cursed for a task, but that probably isn't what you're asking about, right? I'm new, so I don't know! A task is a concrete thing to believe in, like bloodshed or victory or fun and games. You don't have to believe in those to know they're real, either! They just are, whether you like it or not. I understand that much!

Tango: Gah, don't talk to me about... Deep breaths. Look, I don't care if it's a curse, or if it's just me being really bad, or what, I'm not going out pointlessly this time. Jimmy managed not to die first, I can manage to not go out to a stray arrow or my own bomb or a misstep this time, right? Is that so much to ask?

Skizz: Huh? Curses? I mean, I don't think so, and to be totally honest I think it's kind of mean the way people sometimes rag on people about them. Everyone's got so many good things about them! Why do people like to focus on the unfortunate luck, huh?

Bdubs: Hah! Curses! Let me tell you about curses. When I see curses, I eat them for breakfast. I don't got curses, I've got better things to do! I've got my buddies with the Mounders, and I've got-well, I'd say keeping Etho safe, but he's being weird at me again this season. Not that it matters. It never matters. Etho and I, we're... The point is, that doesn't matter anyway, because I have the Mounders, and they're the ones who matter here. And because I'm a strong, independent Bdubs, who doesn't need anyone but my bow and my perfect, flawless fighting prowess! Sorry, what was the question? I've been thinking so much lately that it's just sort of made everything else pop out of my head, so it's hard to keep track. I'm sure I answered it flawlessly, though.

Martyn: Of course there are curses. That's half the fun for you lot, isn't it? Putting your little curses on us and watching us rail against them. Bet you think it's real cute to ask us what we think of the things, too. "Oh, what do you think of curses," like we have any control over them. Please. If I had any control over curses, Jimmy--or, well, no, I guess that one was technically broken, wasn't it? Sure doesn't feel like it. Point is, curses are bad, and they're definitely real, and I hate you for them, got it?

BigB: Look, man, if you're trying to get me to write my character out for you, just say so! I won't tell anyone. We can come up with a hole thing about holes and red tasks and the Backrooms together! It'll be fun! After all, you probably don't know what kind of curse to say I have, right? Haha, just kidding. I have no idea what I'm talking about. Luckily, neither does anyone else, so I think that evens out between the lot of us.

Jimmy: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

ok i get the appeal of "grian is running the games/secretly knows whats going on while the rest of the lifers dont," i really do. HOWEVER i am also a lifelong contrarian so here are some ideas for other lifers being the One Who Knows Whats Going On:

Scott has a bad habit of dragging the souls of his friends into friendly competitions without their consent. it's probably harmless, right? they never complained about MCC!

Jimmy pretends to be trying in the games, but secretly doesn't feel too bad when he dies so quickly every time; like he said in Secret Life, all the ghosts get to float around the server and watch everyone else, and he REALLY likes that

Pearl's a god! it took her a while to remember that whole Santa Perla business, but after she did... well, she always had a lot of fun in the arena in that life, didn't she? no harm in recreating a little bit of the thrill :3

after the Time Witch and the Necromancy Witch completed their ritual to return the Time Witch to life, all other Cleos throughout the multiverse got hit with snippets of the Time Witch's memory... including the thoughts of OTHER Cleos that they'd heard! a lot of Cleos, including all the Life Series Cleos, are now in a loose communication network with each other

Tango has a bit of a reputation, doesnt he? he likes games. he likes deadly games that people flock to regardless. maybe he got bored with the scale of his last couple projects and decided... a world's probably not THAT much harder to make than a castle, right?

feel free to add on :3c but im trying to avoid watcher/listener stuff just, because. so

[tubbytarchia]

Traffic/Life series roster as dinosaurs

A lot of these don't make for very good hybrids unless you wanna get into freaky territory or full on centaur but... Hope it's a fun scroll nonetheless!

Grian - Novialoidea

A small birdie... The name also means "New wings" which I find fun. New lives and death games to be part of, new wings to accompany him... (Honorable mention to "Shuvuuia" the "desert bird" who unfortunately is not a pterosaur (doesn't fly)) (Yes we're including pterosaurs! Just using "dinosaur" as a conveient blanket term)

Tango - Aratasaurus / Pyroraptor

Fire raptor! Either works just fine and Tango as a skittery little raptor is perfect for a creature like him

Scar - Apatosaurus

"Deceptive Lizard" harkening back to Scar's scamming tendencies. Though I've always liked the idea of him being some larger gentler animal in any hybrid scenario and a long-neck fits the bill well. He can poke his nose into people's conversations easily to start marketing something useless to them and swishes his tail to ward off anyone who's about to stop him

Impulse - Nasutoceratops

Ren - Regaliceratops

Horns. COOL horns. I don't know what else you want from me ceratopses are just way too awesome. Nasutoceratops is a wicked cool dinosaur for having its horns point so forward much like a bull and I for one can jive with some Impulse bull symbolism. Bulls are often viewed as strong, sturdy and loyal, traits also assigned to Impulse a LOT of the time. But though he IS intensely loyal in many cases (+ Ceratopses are also known for how they defend their own!), and he's not very outward about the following traits, he can get quite petty and bitchy and hold grudges. Still, you don't think of that when you look at him and he seems to agree! Eg him feeling like he should be accepted into Cleo's alliance in 3rd life without actually proving himself when Cleo was rightfully hesitant, at which Impulse more or less rolled his eyes. And him proclaiming "betrayal!" when killed by Bdubs when their alliance was as firm as a rat's tail

(And I feel the need to point this out too just in case: "bulls are also known for their temper" yeah but they're not like that! Bulls like many animals become defensive when exposed to aggravating behavior or movement! Which you could work into Impulse's grudge holding and intense loyalty...? I don't know enough about him sorry but do with that what you will)

Regaliceratops! Regal!! Crown shaped frill!!! Need I say more?

Gem - Therizinosaurus

Theris are so bad bitch coated to me and I would love to have one as my wife I mean um I couldn't decide on a less generic specimen so Gem can just be a Theri! A herbivore - often associated with the belief that herbivores are gentle passive creatures, but far from it, especially with Gem! She bares her claws like it's no one's business

Martyn - Stygmoloch

A Pachy with a tough head and a tendency to bonk people - I think it fits Martyn's tendency to perpetuate drama haha. The Stygmoloch's name though more or less translates to "demon of the styx river", the river of the underworld representing loathing of death. To me this makes sense with all the watcher lore (that I have a hard time understanding but whatever!!) especially with how Martyn became in LL. The watchers themselves don't loathe death (??) of course. They're death games. But someone within the game trying to stay alive and win? Probably loathes the idea of themselves dying. I have no clue what Im saying

Pearl - Carnotaurus

Ok maybe a hot take not to make her into a pteradon or even a raptor with wing-like features but those just didn't fit that well in my opinion. Rather I wanted her to have some kind of horn motif in place of her wings as visual symbolism for her character. I'd like to imagine her having fine horns, to then have them damaged (one broken off) and simultaneously the other more grown out. Think of how domesticated goats for example have their horns trimmed. I think human hybrids with horns would do the same to keep them from becoming a bother but Pearl would neglect to after her heartbreak in DL. I was heavily considering the Diabloceratops for this, especially because of the name (Devil horned face - good ostracizing material) but Pearl strikes me a lot more as a carnivore and there are only two horned carnivores out there so... Carnotaurus it is haha. And even now I'm making her horns unrealistically big but.... We can suspend some belief

BigB - Oryctodromeus

"Digging Runner"! I've already talked plenty of why BigB is very rabbit behavior to me and my reasons for assigning this burrowing dinosaur to him are similar. Tldr he is fidgety and cautious yet clever and constantly buries himself underground

Lizzie - Anurognathidae

I don't even fucking know man it made me think of Lizzie and then I wasn't able to assign anything else to her. Lizzie often claims to be confused and if any dinosaur looks to be in a perpetual state of confusion then its this one. I know a lot of people like to portray Lizzie as a butterfly also so there you go, wings!!! And it's quite cat-like too for those who like to draw her as a cat

Mumbo - Leinkupal

I really struggled with Mumbo... So many different dinos fit him imo but I figured it should be at least something moderately large (so "Technosaurus" was out of the question lol). Then I rediscovered this dinosaur whose name translates to "vanishing family" and then I thought about LL and SL and how Mumbo went out quickly after the initial death/s and left a very felt absence in someone's alliance and then I became really emotional and forgot what I was doing

Joel - Nodocephalosaurus

Bdubs - Psittacosaurus

"Knob Headed Lizard"

Joel as an Ankylosaur has been stuck in my head from day one of assigning dinosaurs to the Lifers and I'm frustrated that I can't truly explain why. You'd view an Ankylosaur as a slow and docile creature, even compared to other herbivores, but...

1. Maybe not so much nowadays, I don't know what non-dino nerds think, but I feel like ankylosaurs were largely believed to be HUGE back in the day, much like velociraptors, when in reality they're not that big. The Nodocephalosaurus is especially small even among other ankylosaurs. But, well, we all know what Joel loves to say about himself

2. Joel is or likes to make himself look well in control, just as ankylosaurs have little to worry about as far as predators go. Especially in earlier series where he was content basing mostly by himself. It's always when things get dire and he enters his red life that he becomes very impulsive and erratic like an ankylosaur flipped on its back

3. I know there's a distinction between Traffic Joel and Empires Joel and whatever other Joel but... Even in death games his more charitable traits shine through here and there. He really becomes a dangerous rascal for a large majority of the time and he's very good at it, he's not putting on a mask or anything, but I like to remember that underneath that tough spiky armor is gentleness and caring. His care towards Lizzie and Pearl and Etho etc etc

4. The image of Joel as a hell of a spiky creature is just really fun to me. Yet heavy and blunt ones! And someone once proposed the idea of him having a club tail but having chiselled it to be sharp to mirror him being a menace. (Added benefit also that it's lighter that way haha) To me he's always been an obvious heavy hitter rather than stealthy or particularly creative etc. Him as a carnivore just doesn't work as well for me

The name bares no fitting meaning but when I look at Bdubs I think of Psittaco. All other species close to it in looks are already ceratopsians and we have like... 3 of those already lol. Im sorry Bdubs you look so stupid

Cleo - Lythronax

There's so few predators in this roster lol oops, but Cleo deserves to be an apex one! The name translates to "Gore King" because you know, zombies... and you know, Cleo is very king so true. If any of the Lifers should be able to boast rows of razor sharp teeth to gore others it should be ZombieCleo

Scott - Theiophytalia

I've been really struggling with Scott but how about the dinosaur whose name translates to "Belonging to the garden of Gods". There's only one known specimen of this species and it's an Iguanadon looking dinosaur which I think a lot of people would regard as the most basic, possibly boring type of dinosaur (if it weren't for the Allosaurus which already takes the title of "basic straight white guy") but that further fits Scott imo. It's always been a strong point of appeal to me how MUCH there is to his character that so often goes under the radar or unexplored, and how he's very often portrayed as just some handsome looking guy as opposed to a hybrid etc. He's not at all extravagant yet has mastered his craft of bending fate in his favor, he so often has things perfectly under his control just as he wants them, etc... reflective of the name "Theiophytalia" even if you wouldn't think such a dinosaur to sport one of the most prolific names a dinosaur can have. Also garden something something flower husbans. Basically whatever Bree's take on Scott is lol. I don't wanna blab for 5 paragraphs about that blue mf here but. I hope this makes sense

Jimmy - Yinlong

I struggled with this mf the most because he's another very hashtag deep character. I felt really bad to remove his bird motifs completely because the canary is so essential to him, but a raptor nor a pteradon fit my image of him at all. I spent so much time looking into various species but it just aint it, but Yinlong was possibly quilled and we can still cover him in feathers, even if he has nothing close to wings haha... BUT ANYWAY. Yinlong is a small kind of pathetic looking dinosaur, and Jimmy definitely isn't small but he'd sure be made to feel that way. Yinlong translates to "Hidden Dragon" however, a rather thought-provoking name for such a dinosaur. Given his character, it sure does feel like there's a soul of a dragon laying dormant somewhere in him, buried by all the self deprecation and curse labels. Honorable mention to Tianyulong, a very similar dinosaur who was named after a museum, but "Tianyu" also translates to peace and content. Something that Jimmy can't yet but deserves to be

Etho - undefined raptor

Already made a loong post about raptor Etho haha which I assume yall have seen since the support towards that post is the only reason I'm even making this post

Skizz - Olorotitan

"Titanic Swan" close enough to an angel right. I feel the whole angel thing is a bit overdone when Skizz can become a malicious little creature every now and then, but swans much like angels do get viewed as beautiful and taken as symbolism of love. Much like Skizz is largely viewed as an angel and often as someone who can do no wrong. But mostly I wanted Skizz to be a hadrosaur/duck-billed dinosaur, because those are dinosaurs known for their speculated vocalizations. And what is Skizz good at? Talking and voicing his love and appreciation? Yeah? Yeah... I'm so sorry Skizz btw this hybrid idea does not work out

Again, a lot of these don't work so well as hybrids... Some like the long-neck ones I cant imagine to have more than a spiky spine back and a tail, but! These picks aren't based on hybrid potential but rather what I think genuinely fits. I did really work on this all day looking through a bunch of dinosaurs and research haha, but I do love dinosaurs a lot... If you disagree with any hey thats cool! Feel free to give me your opinions if you've any and I hope this was fun to scroll through regardless

[frozenjokes]

Put Me In Perspective, Or At Least In My Place (Another Retrospective On Aromantic Love)

“Above your head like this. Both hands, look at me. Both hands, Grian. It doesn’t take a lot of strength, just step forward and release around eye level.” Cleo demonstrated, holding the axe at the end of its handle and releasing the weapon. It flew in what had to be a perfect arc before burying itself in the wood, a bullseye of course. She threw the axe like she’d done it a thousand times, and honestly, she probably had.

“Don’t people throw them with one hand, too?”

“Yes. It’s just harder. Try this first.”

Grian pursed his lips, stepping forward, throwing, then squeaking when the axe bounced terrifyingly off the wood, hitting the wall before rolling and bumping the curb that separated the stall and his feet. Ah. That was frightening.

“Nearly took out our ankles there,” Cleo said, not sounding all too concerned.”

“It- Can it bounce over that?”

“Not easily. But not uncommonly either. Try not to do that.” Cleo strode forward, plucking the axe off the ground and handing it to Grian. “Don’t throw it while I’m in there.”

“I wasn’t going to!”

“Maybe you won’t, but some people need to be told,” Cleo grunted, ripping the axe she’d thrown from the wall and spinning it thoughtlessly in her hand before burying it in the stump that split their twin alleys. “Try again. Keep your wrists straighter, release at eye level.”

Grian shifted his weight, frowning, “Surely you brought me here to talk about something else other than axe throwing. ‘Cancel your plans, I’m picking you up,’ is an extremely ominous message to receive from a stranger at 8:00 at night. How did you get my number again?”

“Pearl. And we aren’t strangers, we’ve met at least once at that big friend get-together thing, you know. That awful pizza place? Regardless, I’m friends with runners, so force is necessary 90% of the time. If you want to skip to the talking, we can talk, but I don’t know if you want to hear what I have to say.”

“I probably don’t.”

“Then start throwing and I’ll do the work. You’ll get it to stick, just give her a few tries.”

“You seem to have a lot of faith in me.”

“Everyone gets it eventually.” Cleo looked relaxed, unconcerned, and Grian tried to match the energy, but he couldn’t quite shake his anxiety. Well. He was here, so he might as well make the most of it.

It took six more tries before he got an axe to stick. Wow that was satisfying- but the air seemed a little too heavy to celebrate more than Cleo’s tasteful clapping. Maybe he should come back here with Pearl and Impulse.. Jimmy maybe? He’d kill to see Jimmy try this actually, even if he’d likely crush Grian in the end. When Grian went to collect the two axes from the stall, Cleo finally spoke.

“I’d like to know what’s going on between you and Scar. Properly. It’s been a particularly shitty week for our friend group and Scar’s been in a foul mood for more reason than one, so we haven’t talked. And I’m not just here to interrogate you about Scar either, I’d really like to know what’s going through your head as well. Have you seen each other this week? Have you talked at all?” Cleo was firm, but nothing about their voice was hostile. There was a worried longing there, the kind of urging that came from a deep concern for a good friend.

Grian took a deep breath. “Not much. I saw him a couple days ago when I was getting lunch with Pearl at the zoo. He only texted me one other time to tell me he wouldn’t be.. we have this mutual place we hang out, and he just told me he wouldn’t be around this week. Too much going on. I’m really sorry about Etho by the way, I hope you guys find him.”

“Thank you. Bdubs got in contact with him yesterday, so we know he’s alright. We still don’t know where he is or when he’s coming home, but from what I’ve heard, he’s keeping frequent contact. Hasn’t called me or Scar, but that’s typical. With any luck he’ll be back safely soon. That’s what Etho said anyway. Still all sorts of concerning, but we’ll take what we can get.”

“That’s good. I’m glad.” Grian tried not to be hurt that Scar hadn’t updated him, but failed miserably despite the fact it probably wasn’t any of his business. He just would’ve liked to know, that’s all.

“It is. So how did that clusterfuck of a night happen between you and Scar? How did that start?”

“Oh,” Grian mumbled, fidgeting with the axe still in his hands. Cleo took the other from the stump, throwing it almost lazily, like the question didn’t matter to her much at all. Grian decided to do the same, focusing on the secondary activity instead. “Well.. he invited me over. That was a couple hours after our first spat, and I was still feeling weird about it all. Wasn’t well.”

“I figured. He reached out to you first?”

“Yeah. We weren’t supposed to do anything though, just.. get it out of our systems. I was so mad at him- I’m still so angry, and not even for any reason in particular. I’m just mad.”

“Then how’d you end up in his bed?”

“Oh. I kissed him. He was pissing me off.”

“Right.”

Grian scoffed, snagging his axe off the floor of the alley after a failed throw. “How did you think this all went down? He told you the jist, basically. Not nicely, but he told you.”

Cleo shrugged. “I just wanted to know a few more details. Place my judgment a bit more accurately. From where I’m standing, you’re both idiots self destructing in the dumbest way possible. I would like it very much if this didn’t happen again, not only because it’s bad for both of you, but quite frankly, it’s embarrassing.”

“You’re entitled to your opinion.”

“Come on.”

Grian curled his lip. “Listen, I don’t understand why it’s such a huge problem for Scar and I to work out our differences with a little violence. We're consenting adults and the sex was kinda nuts, so if we’re both having fun there’s no issue. In any case, I’m pretty sure this is solving all of our problems.”

“Oh? Do explain.”

Grian rolled his shoulders, throwing his axe and getting it to stick for the second time, “We’re just letting off steam, Cleo. Two months of awkward tension does a lot to a man, it does a lot, nothing good. This is like a shortcut to the whole ‘tiMe hEaLs aLL’ bullshit, we’re like- getting it out of our system.”

“Uh huh. And this is going to resolve your unrequited feelings for Scar how..?”

“I’m getting it out of my system, Cleo.”

“Ah, so having really good sex with a man who isn’t looking for the same things in a relationship as you is going to fix you.”

“You got it.”

“That’s the dumbest load of horseshit I’ve ever heard.” For the first time, Cleo’s axe bounced off the board. She strode to pick it up wordlessly.

“Alright.” Grian landed another axe, just inches from the bullseye.

“Grian,” Cleo sighed harshly, and Grian avoided her eye, uninterested in her scrutiny, “Listen. As dysfunctional as the both of you two are, I don’t actually believe this couldn’t work. You two have been as thick as thieves for ages, and as much as you’re scrapping now, I don’t think that’s indicative of how you actually feel about each other. You’re just hurt people hurting each other, and you don’t have to be. For goodness’s sake, Scar would have been happy to be in some sort of relationship with you, he just didn’t want to lose you altogether. Somewhere I think that got lost in translation.”

“Scar doesn’t want to date me. He only offered to appease me, it was as obvious as anything.”

“I don’t doubt there’s truth to that. He doesn’t do well under the pressure of a love confession, and that’s no one’s fault. But his feelings on romance are a lot more complicated than ‘wanting’ or ‘not wanting.’ You did the right thing to refuse him, Grian, he wasn’t ready. But I think it’s worth talking to him again. Laying everything out on the table. And I can’t speak for what Scar wants, his brain is a mess of tangled wires and sparks, but he’s obviously had plenty of time to think about this, and he might surprise you. If there’s one thing I do know about Scar, it’s that he loves to give things like this a try. And I mean that. He does love it.”

“But Scar won’t love me. Not like I want to love him.”

Cleo hummed, thoughtful as they considered the ceiling, “You know, I don’t know if that’s true.”

Grian huffed, “Unless I’m misunderstanding what ‘aromantic’ means, I don’t see what you mean.”

Cleo shrugged. “Scar loves everyone in big sweeping gestures. That doesn’t change from person to person, whether they’re family, close friends, lovers.. it doesn’t change. But there are still levels, right? There’s still loyalty. You’re thinking of Scar as loving you like a friend, but I think that’s the wrong approach. Making that distinction makes it seem like his love would be less intense, like he wouldn’t still give you everything he has. Try.. a scale, 1 through 10, maybe. For you, you’re looking to give Scar your 10 on the scale, right? A 9 or 10, whatever it is, that’s the kind of love you want to give, the kind of love you’re looking to receive. In Scar’s brain, he’s been giving you that 10 for months, and if you asked to spend the rest of your life with him, he’d probably go ahead and accept without hesitation. That’s just how he feels about the people he’s close with.”

Grian didn’t speak, still working out how to process those words, but Cleo did not mind continuing in his absence. “If you’re worried about not being #1, then I’m afraid you’re fighting a losing battle, friend. With anyone. You’re contending with mothers, brothers, sisters, friends that go back to high school, grade school, diapers. Being intimate doesn’t outweigh those bonds, not for most people. And this isn’t to say that a relationship with Scar would be exactly the same as it would be with anyone else, it won’t, and if you’re the type of guy that gets insecure when your partner is physically friendly with other people, then forget it, but in my truest of hearts, if you’re looking for someone to love, I believe Scar would be more than good for you. He would treat you well,” Cleo paused, thoughtful before continuing, “And honestly, things literally can not get any messier between you two. There are zero stakes to giving this a shot. You’ll either feel a lot better about yourselves or you’ll go your separate ways, both of which are a huge improvement to whatever the fuck is happening between you two now. Maybe you’ll even stay friends after talking all this shit out. Who knows.”

Grian returned his axe to the stump, needing to sit down. To think. He was quiet for a long time just sitting there, the only sound being the bustle of other customers and Cleo’s own axe hitting its mark time and time again.

“You really think he’d want to give it a shot?”

Cleo shrugged and shook her head noncommittally, “Who knows. But it wouldn’t surprise me. So long as you two actually talk this all out, I think anything could happen. And Christ, if you two decide to get together and still want to ‘fall down the stairs’ then have nasty sex afterward, that’s your prerogative, but for crissakes, at least wear some sort of padding or a helmet or something, don’t actually kill each other.”

Well. He had gotten Scar that helmet, hadn’t he.

“I’ll think about it,” Grian mumbled, eyes lidded. And he was. He was thinking quite hard about it.

[prismatic-ink]

insane and deranged new hermit speculation

aka, one of them is very likely to be Joel.

First, some context.

Jimmy knows who the new hermits are. he said this in one of his Chunklock streams a WHILE ago, but I kinda thought he was joking. but he reconfirmed it in his current stream, with the cheekiest grin. now why would he know that....

also, Pearl said she had an important Minecraft recording that she had to cut her stream early for at 7 am Australian time, and based on Doc tweets, this seems to be the first HC 10 recording. Currently, Jimmy, Martyn, FWhip, Sausage, HBomb, and Scott are streaming, and they might not still be streaming till then, but if they were the new hermits they probably wouldn't be streaming right now. That leaves the two most hyped potential new guys: Skizz and Joel.

another VERY interesting tidbit of information: In Tango's patreon discord server, Cleo said that if the new hermits had TCG cards, they'd be Balanced/Builder and Balanced.

Skizz first. He would probably be the Balanced type. I don't really need to get into him being friends with so many hermits, we all know it.

However, I will say, after the last Imp and Skizz episode where Skizz talked about not having enough time to do anything I do think he isn't going to be in HC 10 unfortunately. It seems like it won't be in the cards until he goes full-time content creation. Also, Doc said the new hermits didn't know him that well, and while Skizz isn't like besties with him or anything he's been in his circle long enough to know him at least a little bit.

But what about Joel?

Balanced/Builder DEFINITELY fits Joel to a T. While his content is focused on building, he's also good at PVP and is a prankster, making him balanced. He's also close with hermits blah blah blah but here's some more EVIDENCE (actually just wild speculation). Why would Jimmy know about this? Yeah, he's close with Grian, but still. Maybe because he, Grian, and Joel came back from their trip yesterday, and the recording was today because it was the earliest possible time for it to happen for all hermits to be there, and Jimmy was filled in on this. It also explains why Jimmy seems so excited about knowing the new hermits to the point he's spoken about it twice. Obviously, he would be excited for his friend.

also this is straight up copium at this point but the shadow people on the new banner are based off a Steve and Alex model. If they were both guys I feel like they wouldn't go through the effort to make them different models. maybe,,,, maybe lizzie ldshadowlady? even though she probably wouldn't be into hermitcraft? maybe?? or at least a new female hermit. because that's the biggest thing against Joel not being a new member, if Lizzie isn't there with him it would be kinda strange ngl

[solargeist]

What the relationships between different Hermits and Kid Xelqua are like:

POSITIVE!

Mumbo - Pretty positive all things considered. He manages to entertain him, and generally is a good uncle figure.

Scar - The favourite. Scar gives him unlimited access to snacks and all sorts of unhealthy food (much to Grian’s chagrin). Once gave him so much sugar, Xelqua entered a 5 hour long sugar rush. Grian still hasn’t forgiven him yet because it was an absolute nightmare.

Doc - Surprisingly positive. Despite Doc’s turbulent relationship with Grian, Doc has a soft spot for kids. He’ll drop any kind of tension when Xelqua’s around to not worry him. He’ll still absolutely body Grian, but usually when Xelqua isn’t looking.

Pearl - Due to her leniency, Xelqua likes her. He can get away with anything when she’s around and generally doesn’t impose any harsh rule of punishment on him

Etho - He just thinks Etho is cool (usually because he keeps maple candies in his pockets). An Ethogirl in the making.

NEUTRAL!

Joe Hills - He’s a living Sesame Street styled puppet and Xelqua keeps mistaking him for a normal puppet toy. He once nearly suffocated poor Joe by hugging him a little too tight around his neck.

Xisuma - Barely sees him and for good reason. Xisuma has enough on his plate as admin, he doesn’t need to have to add “babysitting a god” on his plate as well.

Impulse & Skizz - They help Grian out occasionally to watch over Xelqua. Typical fun uncles you can find, but Xelqua doesn’t know much about them or why Skizz gives him the heebie jeebies when he unfurls his Angel wings or when Impulse reveals his full demon form.

Gem - Like Impulse and Skizz, generally friendly with Xelqua, but he’s unsettled by her, but he doesn’t know why. Maybe he senses that Gem isn’t truly a deer satyr and something to do with the rustling in the forests and night and the lingering smell of blood on her.

NEGATIVE…

Cleo - She’s scary to him. Like how you would be scared of the principal when you were a kid in elementary school.

Cub - All the fireworks he uses this season are too loud for him. He has to cover his ears everytime he has to go near the shop.

Joel - Xelqua keeps walking in in Joel in the most embarrassing moments. Like seeing him cry in front of the statue of his wife because she isn’t in the server, falling down an entire flight of stairs, reading Iskall’s creepy Yandere letters, etc. There were several moments where Joel had to cover Xelqua’s mouth because he was about to air all his dirty laundry.

AKDNDJSKAK

of course Scar is the favourite, Xelqua would love his builds, he’d like the animals and Scars silly voices and rambles. He’d also love Scar’s off road wheelchair/ATV, it’s so fast ! He’d absolutely eat all of Scar’s snacks, he’d be talking a mile a minute when Grian shows to pick him up, he just silently glares at Scar.

I love when people draw Doc with Doccy on the server, just a big scary goat and his little goat kid, it’s why he has a soft spot around Xelqua, he’s so tiny. Tho I can only see them interacting if Xelqua accidentally ends up in his base area, got lost maybe. I think Xelqua wouldn’t be scared of Doc despite his looks bc 1) he looks like Scar’s zoo animals (big Goat) and 2) Doc has a kid too, so he’s gotta be safe. Grian is very confused when he sees Doc calling him.

The Joe Hills part almost made me choke AKDNDKSK Joe being a puppet is my favourite design it’s so silly. Xelqua watches a lot of TV, he’d be in awe… so happy to see a real life puppet… Grian has to grab his hands to stop him from choking Joe out.

I think Xelqua would just be intimidated by Cleo at first, he’d warm up to her ! Him being scared of Cub bc of the fireworks is so true tho, Xelqua very much hates the noise and is actively afraid of thunder, he’ll wake Grian up if a storm rolls in at night, and probably hide behind him if a firework went off and no one told him it’d be so loud !

poor Joel 😭😭⁉️⁉️ tho if Joel grabbed Xelqua and covered his mouth like that, Grian is immediately there, he crosses the room so quickly man Watchers don’t play around abt their kids 😭💥 Grian doesn’t even realize he moved or separated them, for a split second his brain didn’t see this as a joke or playing around. Joel gets to see those purple eyes up closeeee and shouts

this was very cute and silly to read ehehehe, also for some reason I think Xelqua would think that Xisuma is Grian’s uncle, no idea how he came to this conclusion.

[imorphemi]

Hermitgals but its a PRISM Corps au! Because I haven't stopped thinking about it

if you don't know, PRISM Corps is a magical girl universe created by ActuallyRea/Ginjaninjaowo. I drew Pearl as a prism magical girl a while ago for a daily pearl doodle, and later Gem as well, but now here's all of them!

These are still just sketches and rough ideas of what they'd look like because I'm bad at designing clothes, but I'm pretty happy with most of them :D

Notes about the gals and their weapons under the cut :3

I know that the girls change their hair color when they transform, but for the sake of keeping them more recognizable I did keep their hair colors the same as how I would usually draw them, plus sometimes some colorful streaks. Also their hair colors just happen to go pretty well with their color schemes anyways

Pearl - Weapon: Broom, has the ability to make anything it sweeps over disappear. Objects can be resummoned at a later time and will reappear once the prism is deactivated. She's usually part of the cleanup and damage control crew. Her Prism's name is Robbie!

Gem - Weapon: Still deciding on this one! Originally I put her weapon as twin swords but I'm reconsidering it. I also slightly changed her outfit design. Suggestions are very welcome for what her weapon should be, and feel free to be as creative as possible :D Her Prism's name is Mackenzie!

Stress - Weapon: Pandora's Box. A box that contains...something. We're not sure what it is, but it's some kind of spirit that is able to possess and take control of other people. There might even be multiple spirits. She can also trap other people in the box. Her Prism's name is Mochi!

Cleo - Weapon: Puppet Crossbeams, has the ability to control inanimate objects. Is also pretty decent at wacking people. I'm the least sure about Cleo's current design, I had a lot of trouble with it and would appreciate some suggestions and feedback because I am not a Cleo watcher haha. Her Prism's name is Stheno!

False - Weapon: Feather Blades. She can pluck the feathers off of her skirt to use as blades of any length. The amount of feathers she has is pretty decent and more than enough to get her through a standard fight, but it is limited. She'll have to wait for her prism to recharge again after using all of them. This is probably my favorite concept because it is dramatic as heck. I haven't decided on her Prism's name yet, but it'll probably be some kind of bird.

Storywise, False and Cleo joined the Corps around the same time, Stress some time after, and Pearl and Gem joined together later on. Out of this lineup, False is easily the most powerful, prism-wise and skill-wise, out of all the gals here. Maybe False gets to coach Pearl and Gem or something hehe

Oh! And this isn't all of them. A prism has gone rogue and there seems to be an independent magical girl in the city as well...

[tunastime]

hehe hi myke, thanks for sending this in my dms <3 here's your song! it's quelle suprise, which I originally read the lyrics wrong in because I don't speak french, but I think now after reading it. rarrrg. anyway! this is just such a bop, so not a lot of replays! I found it late in the year (and I know I sent it to you already lol)

(536 words)

There is something very wrong with Etho.

Or maybe there isn’t. Who’s Bdubs to know every thought inside his head, apparently? Who’s Bdubs to think he understands him? Bdubs is a red life now. The sludge of trigger fingers and loose cannons and live-wires all mingles with blood, hot and red, in his veins. It was always red, always hot, heightened now, to a dizzying sting. He can hear it thump around his head when he listens closely, hear it chanting for more. 

He’s starting to piece things together that he thinks maybe he shouldn’t. It’s hard. Bdubs sits on his hands, screwing up his face as he squeezes himself into a small space of his upside-down base. It’s hard trying to figure this out. What Etho's thinking. His heart feels like a creature begging to flee from his chest, slamming against the front half of his ribcage like it might break apart and let it out into the world. At the same time, that thumping hurts, because there’s an awful squeeze in his chest. He’s not been able to breathe right for a while. Probably since the moment Etho laughed at him before he went to kill that dragon.

That’s funny though, isn’t it? Etho promises things so easily, but when it comes time to deliver he’s always finding shortcuts. Like how he didn’t agree when Bdubs asked how much he would give for him? There was no equal half, was there?

Bdubs was making a mistake, wasn’t he? Wasn’t that the worst part?

Well maybe he wasn’t! Maybe Etho was more afraid of Cleo than he was Bdubs—of course he would side with someone who could help him the most. Certainly not dead weight. Which Bdubs assumed he was again. Though Joel and Martyn, and Mumbo when he was there, and Pearl even, were more than willing to help out with whatever needed to be done. And that was easy for them. So why couldn’t Etho say anything? Why couldn’t he just lie to him? What kind of game was Bdubs playing at, that Etho felt so confident that he would never have a task that asked him to twist the knife already in Bdubs’ chest? He’s sorry. He’s sorry. Etho didn’t ask him to put the knife there. He took it from Etho’s hands and put it in his chest and he thought maybe that would make things better, rather than worse.

It isn’t Etho’s fault. Etho’s playing his game. Bdubs knows that. So he’s not mad at him—well, he won’t be mad at him when he leaves the game and Etho crawls his way into his lap and presses his face to the juncture of his neck and says he’s sorry. Because he’s always sorry. Bdubs wonders if—no. No. Bdubs swallows down the taste in the back of his throat. He’s done wondering. And he’s done letting Etho’s excuses sit heavy in his chest like they might be armor instead of eating him alive.

He stands up, fishing the pocket watch from his pocket.

It’s still early. The cracked surface reflects back only a portion of his face.

For now, the clock stays intact. But Bdubs can imagine the satisfying crunch it might make when his heel grinds against it.

(spotify wrapped ask meme)

[briarlovesclara]

The life series be like hi I'm cleo this is my son bdubs his ... someone etho, etho's friends impulse tango and skizz, and this is my other son scar. over there is his soulmate grian and his brothers joel and jimmy. remember tango from earlier? He's kinda jimmy's ex, but this guy scott is ACTUALLY his ex husband and is also my best friend. Scott’s friend martyn has an ex husband mumbo and an ex Someone ren, neither of them are here rn. Scott’s platonic ex pearl is here and we also used to be besties after my bestie bigb betrayed me. Yeah the bigb she's best friends with rn.

(hi! editor's note: this was made very early on in the ltlsmp, maybe 1 or 2 eps in. i plan to make a sequel to this at the end because things have changed a lot! a few rapid fire things:

grian and scar are now cousins and dont really interact outside of that so i probably won't mention the soulmate thing, or it will be more clearly marked as past-platonic

adding etho of course as a father which means we are no longer listing him as bdubs'... someone

im not going to include the lizzie/gem cameos so that won't confuse things with joel etc

+the flower husbands lore is stronger so i'll bring it back up. as well as the old married couple vibes from scott and martyn /p

ok thank you! sorry to all the ppl who reblogged who now have this on their blog)

[life-winners-liveblog]

Watching Last Life- session 8

Part 4

Martyn: I'm sure other me appreciated you talking about how easy it would be to kill him from behind while being behind him. Not worrying in the slightliest.

Scott: Yeah but the point was that I wasn't going to do that...

Grian: You phrased it really badly Scott.

Scott: I did not!

Grian: ...

Scott: Ok...maybe in hindsight I did make it a bit too threatening.

Grian: You did.

~~~~~

Scar: Other me! Noooo!

Scott: Yeah Ren tricked my Scar into following him into a trap.

Scar: I...uh... so it wasn't even a cool fight to the death? Just getting tricked?

Pearl: I mean, his whole thing with the tower was always tricks and scamming it makes sense he died the same as he lived.

Scar: miserable...

Pearl: uhhhhhhhhhh...not really what I meant...but sure...mate...? If thats how you want to see it???

Scar: Well, now what? I was rooting for other me!

Grian: Scar...we all know who wins Last Life...us 5 are litterally the winners... ...It's Scott

Scar: I know, I know! But other me didn't even last all the way to the last session! And he's the first out between our coun...cun...canprat...coute-

Pearl: Counterparts?

Scar: Yes! That!

Grian: I guess... I do sorta want other me to come like... maybe top 6? at least.

Scott: ...*cough*..ok then... about that ...

Grian: Scott, If other me comes 7th I will actually break something.

Scott: *sips water very loudly*

~~~~~

Grian: At this point Rens base is the only still semi-functional base in the server.

Martyn: And It's probably not going to last seeing the track record.

Grian: You know I really hate to agree with you on anything-

Martyn: Well fuck you too.

Grian: But...yeah, everytime we see this base something happens to damage it in some way, first the burning, then the ones sneaking in...now the traps.

~~~~~

Martyn: So you didn't boogey?

Scott: Nope, both Cleo and Pearl were at yellow... I wasn't going to kill them to keep me alive and going after the reds on my own would have been nothing more then a death wish really.

Scar: But you went on red.

Scott: After having been the boogey being red felt actually good in comparison.

Pearl: Well that sure was a session.

Scar: Still upset other me died so soon.

Grian: So I guess next session is the last one? Then It's uh...

Pearl: Double Life.

Grian: Yeah.

Previous

Next

First

[theminecraftbee]

(No way to win and nothing to lose.)

It takes fifteen minutes--or, well, honestly more like ten--for them to decide how this is going to end, the two of them.

Maybe it's a bit fatalistic. Most people would take more than a few minutes to decide they're going to die, probably, but Cleo and Etho both, they're realists. So it takes them ten. Technically, it takes Cleo even fewer; it takes them a minute and a half to decide they're going to die in the end, if it means Etho will win, but. Etho won't win. Neither will Cleo. That's the thing they decide over ten minutes.

It takes fifteen for Tango to die, which is why Cleo thought maybe it took fifteen minutes to decide how it was going to end. Before then, hey, maybe he'd come to his senses and team up with them against the massive alliance that's going to kill them all. After, though...

After, Cleo takes Etho to burn down houses.

It's kind of stupid, right? But Etho, he hasn't done much burning of other people's shit before, and Cleo thinks, shit, they're going to die anyway. Making enemies isn't actually a problem. If Etho burns Scar's stupid little trading post down, what's the worst that's going to happen? Scar kills them? Please. All that'd be is stopping Gem or Pearl from doing it. So they burn it down, and Etho laughs, and tells Cleo that he gets why it's so fun, and they revel in the heat.

They run together to Etho's warden pit. Etho talks Cleo through how to do it. They've never wrangled a warden before, but hey--no time like the present, right? And as the great beast starts chasing them, they feel alive. They haven't laughed this hard in--do they know how long? How long?

How long have they been sitting here, counting hearts? Staying away from danger so they don't break them? But those don't matter now. They decided already: they are going to die. There's no other way this will end. So sure, they should be a little careful, but careful is the enemy of a good time, and that's even more important!

What's more important than losing hearts is using the ones you've got, right?

What's more important than broken hearts is that Etho knows how important he is to them, so they tell him.

Bdubs is hilariously angry about it, and Scott is resigned. Cleo beams. They go to find Grian, so that maybe they can steal a tower together after all, just like they were talking about at the beginning of the episode, and listen, Cleo knows better than climbing ladders, than getting too high up, they've learned that lesson, but--

None of this matters now. They already decided they were going to die. To tell the truth, they'd decided that weeks ago, standing in a little gravel building with Etho. They're going to die. They don't particularly want to, of course, but--well, there are things they want even less than dying, so it only makes sense.

It's practical, really. Just knowing there's no chance, and giving up on there being a chance early. It's... nice. No being chased through the woods, terrified. No hunt. No desperate heartbeat. Just the knowledge, deep in their bones, that they've had from the moment Etho looked at them and said: "We're in a bad place, and no one else seems to know."

They don't stop laughing until Etho's knocked off the tower by a stray arrow, and after that, it's a blur of blood, next to Grian until they can't be. Blood and pain and anger.

And in those final moments, silent, bloody, tired, as Scar puts his sword through their throat--

There was only ever one way this would end, they think.

They have no regrets.

[monggay]

heyyyyy remember this series? yknow, hermitcraft x the mechanisms, the one i keep thinking ill be able to post about once a week or so? well its actually apparently more of once a month instead haha. anyways heres cleo as ashes! rambling under the cut as usual!

also see: pearl as gunpowder tim, gem as drumbot brian, and mumbo as nastya-ish !

OK OK OK SO. their mechanism is their heart :) idea was from @octopus-defence-squad OH MY GOD OZ IM SO SORRY I JUST REALIZED THAT ASK WAS FROM FREAKIN SEPTEMBER and i only now just answered it even tho ive been thinkin abt it since then 😭😭

[id: a tumblr ask from @/octopus-defence-squad: having thoughts about a mechanisms cleo. maybe she’s the inverse of gem, all her body human except her heart. (i know this is jonny’s thing but i don’t necessarily love his backstory for her? maybe she was more of like. the body was found and the heart didn’t work but bc of Reasons everything else was okay except memories? idk i like cleo being maybe a bit less backstory-having before the mechanism)]

maybe she was found on a desolate planet with stone and dust for ground, inky black seas, and strange purple growth as the only sustenance 👀👀 maybe with some tall thin glowing purple friends

so anyways, the mechanisms are a steampunk band blah blah blah, they play characters as the mechanisms, an immortal space cabaret from the starship aurora travelling the stars having fun violence adventure ...and more violence! they were turned immortal by d. carmilla after dying/nearly dying idk

ashes o'reilly, the one who cleo is based off, has mechanical lungs after getting betrayed in the mob and killed off in a burning building, relevant song backstory here or a live one here in all its 2012 480p recording glory ft jonnys trademark gravelly voice and ashes being ashes (aka being ridicoulously cool 😳), its called lucky sevens, hit it.

but cleo's story is a bit different w a different backstory (found dead alone mysteriously, gets their heart replaced) but they have a similar vibe :) aka badass people who can kick your ass and also probably commit copious amounts of arson and/or murder

another inspiration for this one was this bernadette banner video haha

ALSO the skull is joe :) hes just. a talking skull idk

ALSO ALSO love the headcannon of cleo just taking other body parts for their own so thats a thing here :) hence the skin n also the cane (lil detail i kinda like, the hair maybe being like yknow how ppl put in doll hair? yea) anyways im p tired maybe ill add some more later :)

[blueishspace]

Last Life with divine domains

Part 2: Session 1 & 2.

Lives

First, lives remain the same so:

Scar, Pearl and Tango have 6 lives.

Joel has 5 lives.

Bdubs, Etho, Martyn, Lizzie and Mumbo have 4 lives.

BigB, Impulse, Skizz have 3 lives.

Grian, Ren, Scott, Jimmy and Cleo have 2 lives.

Session 1

Bdubs is still chosen as the boogeyman for this session.

Scar links *rolls randomizer* Scott and Pearl for the session.

Grian's ability tells him that only one boogeyman is active.

Martyn gets these 3 random rules to choose from: "Everyone must wear leather boots", "No one is allowed to use axes" and "Everyone must give an item to every person they meet". I'm going to say he chooses the last one as the first two are just annoying.

Scott still find Pearl and promises friendship for a life, this time he doesn't need to find a cold biome as one of his abilities can change a 64x64 area into the ice plains biome so he can just settle down anywhere... Also being linked is another reason to work together for this.

Grian still "steals" Scar's life but as Scar's origin/domain allows him to gift one life a session without losing lives he doesn't lose anything.

Scar boogeyman stunt works as well as canon... aka, only BigB falls for it.

BdoubleO fools Grian and... yeah, Grian still dies. Didn't see that coming did he?... Please laugh.

When Mumbo is asked to choose is when changes truly start to happen because the most Grian can offer is sugarcane and maybe some resources but Scar can offer his bonus gifted life at the start of the next session...so uh... War and Love team (Scar's domain is technically Connection and not love but shhhhhh).

Tango still makes the betting game. Etho, Joel and Bdubs all bet one life and Lizzie still creates the fairy fort.

Magic Mountain still forms but with the addition of Mumbo in the mix, wonder how this will go. Is it still called magic mountain? Yeah, probably.

Pearl ends her session by gifting a life to Scott and Scott setting the 64x64 area in the Scottage.

Lives

Tango has 9 lives.

Scar has 6 lives.

Pearl has 5 lives.

Joel, Martyn, Lizzie and Mumbo have 4 lives.

BigB, Etho, Scott, Bdubs, Impulse, Skizz have 3 lives.

Grian, Ren, Jimmy and Cleo have 2 lives.

Session 2

Scar and Joel are still the boogeyman, Grian discovers that two boogeyman exist.

Scar links Grian and Jimmy's healthbars as revenge for Grian scamming him at the start of last season. He then (after some haggling) makes good on his promise and gifts Mumbo this sessions bonus life cementing the alliance.

Martyn is given these 3 rules to choose from for the session: Everyone is allowed to wear helmets. Everyone must keep their left hand free. No one is allowed to wear chestplates. (Another bout of boring ones sigh) He choses the helmets as the other two are kinda meh.

Joel and Scar still discover they are both boogeymen and work together to get kills, Mumbo works on the Magic Mountain base.

Cleo gives Tango sugarcane for a life, that doesn't change.

Mumbo...doesn't go into the Nether with Martyn as they don't have a reason to go together...and he's not the guy to go alone... Martyn is so I think he dies in Mumbo's stead. We get brute boy 3 seasons earlier.

Now, Joel attacks Lizzie and in the process dies... Lizzie probably uses her storm summoning ability as she is stronger during storms...that is good for her as it stops the mobs from getting her and for Scott as it causes snow to form in his base.

BEST still forms... Day, Mist, Poison and Hearth... That's one interesting group.

Mumbo being part of magical mountain means he doesn't kill Joel and allows him to get a kill on Martyn...but also means that Scar doesn't kill him... so Joel is cured...but Scar isn't.

This means that Martyn has no opportunity to sneak Ren Nether Wart.

I want to say Lizzie doesn't bet on Joel going red first for Tango's game...it isn't like secret life's dye for debris trade because she knows how lives work more then netherite.

Scar still goes to Scott and Pearl... though instead of trapping their base like Joel he just threatens them like he did in session 1 and kills Scott when he refuses...and is then killed by Pearl.

The enchanting table remains safe in Joel's (and therefore Magical Mountain) inventory and Lizzie only gives away a life for Ren's assistance.

Pearl gives Scott another life to avoid the risk of being alone.

Our session 2 ends with Scar alone on top of a mountain, here we find Scar Mumbo and Joel as the most powerful team in the server both in lives and enchanting table... Southlanders are really not doing well in this timeline.

Lives p.2

Tango has 8 lives.

Scar has 5 lives.

Mumbo and Pearl have 4 lives.

BigB, Etho, Lizzie, Joel, Ren, Bdubs, Cleo, Impulse, Skizz and Scott have 3 lives.

Grian, Martyn and Jimmy have 2 lives.

Fandom

You know the drill, I'm here to beg for comments once more... Also curious what @shortystack75 and @easily-distracted-by-fandom will say.

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[mcytlin]

consider: life series spiderverse crossover

each season is a different univerese, with its winner being the corresponding spiderman. the Watchers are in charge of the Spider Society?

Grian is Spider-Wing. He got bitten by a radioactive spider-parrot hybrid (do not ask me how that works, i do not know) at Renchanting, a science/tech company - which is secretly a cover for their actual business, the Red Army (i'm sorry for all Renchanting fans, I love them as well but a Spidey needs their villains TvT).

His canon events are Jimmy and Scar dying.

Scott is Spider-Keep aka Gatekeep. He's a member of a trio of vigilantes, who used to operate only with tech until Scott got bitten. There's not a main antagonist in this (except maybe Grian lol), but all the other factions are vigilante/villain groups, except for BEST who are actually heroes (at least they start out as such).

His canon events are Jimmy dying (they used to be boyfriends) and Pearl dying. (Cleo also died once but she got better.) He's very sus of the Spider Society/Watchers, maybe takes on a Hobie role?

Pearl is Scarlet Spider. She has a wolf army that aids her in her work. As far as Spidermen go, she's definitely more on the morally grey side of things, so most citizens are vary of her. The Triple G Alliance was definitely a thing once, but they had a massive fight once and have since then broken up.

Her canon events are Tilly dying and Scott sacrificing himself for her.

Martyn is Spider-Gill. He was bitten by a dving spell spider, a type of spider that can live underwater. He'd probably take on a bit of a Miles Morales role, what with him being new to bein a Spider Person, and to a lesser degree, the whole discussion of what his victor title could be lined up a bit with the "anomaly" thing. And he'd definitely not be friends with the Watchers.

His canon events are uh. Scott dying? Except he's the one who killed him?

There's obviously also this season's winner, whoever that will be, and tbh i think all Life Series Members would be a Spider-Person in one dimension or the other and thus part of the Spider Society, they just wouldn't be the protagonists of the story.

now you may ask, "story? what story?" and boy do i wish i knew that. alas i do not, so these thought bunnies are all you're getting <3