#and pumpkin? Killer combo

[dont-look-me-in-the-eye]

what would you do if i gave you a pumpkin stuffed with raw meat. would you feel enriched

OH YEAG RAW MEAT

[redpool]

Because we are moving, I've been rewatching Supernatural while packing and I've decided i want to make a list of the episodes that i actually like (meaning that I actually like what I'm watching).

Season 1:

Episode 1 'Pilot' - Minus the intro, i usually skip that

Episode 2 'Wendigo' - That last bit, where Dean has the bandage on his throat... *insert debby ryan meme here*

Episode 3 'Dead in the Water' - Enough said, i mean come on..

Episode 5 'Bloody Mary' - I used to be terrified of this ep. But the way the boys are so soft and comforting towards the girls. (and Mary is pretty)

Episode 7 'Hook Man' - Love me some hook man. and the black shirt and brown jacket combo on Dean *chefs kiss*

Episode 12 'Faith' - Dean is just really attractive to me i this ep, he's so sick and pathetic looking and i love it... THE HOODIE

Episode 17 'Hell House' - AHDHGDGDHGDHBGDGDCVGDCB PRANK WARS!!!!!!

Episode 19 'Provenance' - Idk why "HOLY, BLONDE, CHEERLEADER, BATMAN" < I quote that so so much

Season 2:

Episode 2 'Everybody Loves A Clown' -

I want to say Bloodlust because of Benny but I hate that other shitbird

Episode 4 'Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things' - Its just a fun ep

Episode 5 'Simon Said' - ASH MY LOVE!!!!!

Episode 6 'No Exit' - America's first known serial killer

Episode 11 'Playthings' - "Of course, the most troubling question is: Why do these people assume we're gay?" "Well, you are kinda butch, but I just think you're overcompensating."

Episode 15 'Tall Tales' - GABE MY LOVE!!!!!!

Episode 17 'Heart' - uhhh werewolves, need I say more?

Episode 18 'Hollywood Babylon' - another idk why

Episode 19 'Folsom Prison Blues' - two words, Blue. Steel.

Season 3:

Episode 3 'Bad Day At Black Rock' - Bela *Insert debby ryan meme*

Episode 5 'Bedtime Stories' - another fun one

Episode 6 'Red Sky at Morning' - Bela, my love!'

Episode 8 'A Very Supernatural Christmas' - Protective Dean, "You fudging touch me again, I'll fudging kill ya!"

Episode 11 'Mystery Spot' - GABE MY LOVE!!!!!!

Episode 13 'Ghostfacers' - GHOST- GHOSTFACERS, I also love that we see a whole different version of the Winchesters. (sweary)

Season 4:

Episode 1 'Lazarus Rising' - The beginning of the longest queerbaiting relationship ever

Episode 4 'Monster Movie' - do I really need to explain?

Episode 6 'Yellow Fever' - "I'll man the flashlight!"

Episode 7 ' It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester' - ngl the title makes no sense, and there is a reason, i just can't think of it.

Episode 8 'Wishful Thinking' - another fun episode, this is the episode that, that kid that killed his mum and set out to take the Canadian prime minster out is in.

Episode 12 'Criss Angel Is a Douche Bag' - *shrugs*

Episode 13 'After School Special' - BABY SAM, younger Dean 😏

Episode 14 'Sex and Violence' - BI DEAD BI DEAN BI DEAN BI DEAN

Episode 18 'The Monster at the End of This Book' - also *shrug*

Episode 19 'Jump the Shark' - ADAM!!!! Adam ☹️😢

Season 5:

Episode 5 'Fallen Idols' - another fun episode

Episode 6 'I Believe the Children Are Out Future' - JESSE!!!!! There was so much potential in this kid, we could have the greatest duo with Jesse and Jack.

Episode 7 'The Curious Case of Dean Winchester' - BI DEAD BI DEAN BI DEAN BI DEAN

Episode 8 'Changing Channels' - GABE MY LOVE!!!!!!!!

Episode 9 'The Real Ghostbusters' - fair enough

Episode 11 'Sam, Interrupted' - ✨therapy✨

Episode 12 'Swap Meat' - fun episode

Episode 14 'My Bloody Valentine' - "I don't like it!" "No one likes it."

Episode 17 '99 Problems' - "Not you. Or me. Sam of course is an abomination. We'll have to find someone else." & "Well, what is she, exactly?" "The whore." "Wow, Cas, tell us what you really think."

Episode 18 'Point of No Return' - ADAM!!!! Adam... ☹️😢

Episode 19 'Hammer of the Gods' - GABE!!!!! Gabe.... ☹️😢

Episode 21 'Two Minutes to Midnight' - OH, DEATH, OH, DEATH, OH, DEATH,

Episode 22 'Swan Song' - THE BEGINNIG OF MIADAM!!!! funny story, when i had an iPhone i had "Hey, Assbutt" as my text tone and it was almost as scary as when I had Obi-Wan's "Hello there"

Season 6:

Episode 3 'The Third Man' - BALTHAZAR MY LOVE!!!!!!!!

Episode 9 'Clap Your Hands If You Believe' - Souless!Sam is a dick but I kinda love him.

Episode 17 'My Heart Will Go On' - BALTHAZAR!!!!!!!! "Sorry, you have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you."

Episode 18 'Frontierland' - Why is Elias kinda hot...?

Episode 19 'Mommy Dearest' - I just like the bar scene

Season 7:

Episode 1 'Meet the New Boss' - "And who says you speak for God? You're wrong. I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation. On the other hand, I cannot abide hypocrites like you, Reverend." "Okay, fun's over, friend" "Tell your flock where your genitals have been before you speak for Me." "And who the heck are you?" "I'm God.", basically the whole church scene

Episode 5 'Shut Up, Dr. Phil' - It's just a funny episode

Episode 9 'How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters' - "I think you pissed off my sandwich."

Episode 14 'Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie' - "Ha! I'm sorry, you look like you got attacked by some PCP-crazed strippers."

Episode 20 'The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo' -CHARLIE BABY!!!!!!

Episode 21 'Reading is Fundamental' - KEVIN MY LOVE!!!!!!

Season 8:

Episode 1 'We Need to Talk About Kevin' - That whole first scene, BENNY MY LOVE!!!!!!

Episode 2 'What's Up, Tiger Mommy?' - ALFIE!!!!!!!!! BENNY!!!!!!!

Episode 4 'Bitten' - outside perspectives are always funny

Episode 5 'Blood Brother' - BENNNY!!!! Vampirates.

Episode 6 'Southern Comfort' - GARTH!!!!!

Episode 7 'A Little Slice of Kevin' - KEVIN!!!! Dean isn't even trying to hide his gay.

Episode 8 'Hunteri Heroici' - I'll introgate the cat."

Episode 9 'Citizen Fang' - I hate this episode but yeah

Episode 11 'LARP and the Real Girl' - CHARLIE, MY LOVE!!!!!!

Episode 12 'As Time Goes By' - HENRY, MY LOVE!!!!!!

Episode 13 'Everybody Hates Hitler' - Adam Rose is in it, do i need to continue?

Episode 15 'Man's Best Friend with Benefits' - I hate witches but this ep is good.

Episode 20 'Pac-Man Fever' -

Episode 23 'Sacrifice' - The last scene and speech that Dean says to Sam.

Season 9:

Episode 1 'I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here' - GADDY!!!!!! MY BABY!!!!!!

Episode 4 'Slumber Party' - CHARLIE!!!!! TIIO!!!!!!

Episode 5 'Dog Dean Afternoon' - just a fun one, the pigeon is the best character in this episode.

Episode 7 'Bad Boys' - BABY DEAN BABY DEAN BABY DEAN

Episode 8 'Rock and a Hard Place' - "But when you get down to it, what's the big deal? Sure, there's the touching and the feeling all of each other, my hands everywhere, tracing every inch of her body. The two of us moving together, pressing, pulling, grinding, and then you hit that sweet spot and everything just builds, builds and builds until it all just... [Makes explosion noise] ...But the whole thing was just a little too sticky."

Episode 13 'The Purge' - Out of all of the creatures in this show the Pishtacos are my favourite.

Episode 15 '#thinman' - the return of the Ghostfacers, they're so gay for eachother.

Episode 16 'Blade Runners' - sexy

Episode 19 'Alex Annie Alexis Ann' - ALEX!!!!!!!

Season 10:

Episode 1 'Black' - DEMON!DEAN FOR THE WIN!!!!

Episode 2 'Reichenbach' - Demon Dean...

Episode 3 'Soul Survivor' - Demon Dean.

Episode 4 'Paper Moon' - KATE!!!!

Episode 5 'Fan Fiction' - Do I really need to explain why I like this one? 🎶"JOHN AND MARY, HUSBAND AND WIFE, BRINGING HOME A BRAND NEW LIFE, HIS NAME IS SAMMY, I'M BIG BROTHER DEAN"🎶

Episode 6 'Ask Jeeves' - the interactions are just really funny.

Episode 7 'Girls, Girls, Girls' - ROWENA!!!!!! the only witch I can stand.

Episode 8 'Hibbing 911' - JODIY AND DONNA SUPREMACY!!!!

Episode 12 'About a Boy' - Just a fun episode

Episode 13 'Halt & Catch Fire' - ghosts are always fun episodes

Episode 14 'The Executioner's Song' - the end of Cain

Episode 15 'The Things They Carried' - probably my favourite Cole episode.

Episode 16 'Paint It Black' - I just like this ep

Episode 19 'The Werther Project' - BENNY!!!!!!

Season 11:

Episode 4 'Baby' - self explained, i'd say.

Episode 5 'Thin Lizzie' - idk why

Episode 7 'Plush' - its just funny

Episode 8 'Just My Imagination' - 'She's got sparkle on her face!'

Episode 11 'Into the Mystic' -

Episode 12 'Don't You Forget About Me' - DAD DEAN DAD DEAN DAD DEAN DAD DEAN

Season 12:

Episode 6 'Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox' - It's just funny watching people react the way they do towards the boys.

Episode 8 'LOTUS' - ARTHUR!!!!!!

Episode 11 'Regarding Dean' - Considering that he was going to die this and the Zanna episode are my all time favourites.

Season 13:

Episode 1 'Lost and Found' - JACK!!!!!!! MY BABY!!!!!!!

Episode 2 'The Rising Son' - Jack means a lot to me.

Episode 4 'The Big Empty' - ✨therapy✨

Episode 6 'Tombstone' - GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY

Episode 10 'Wayward Sisters' - GIRLFRIENDS GIRLFRIENDS GIRLFRIENDS GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY

Episode 16 'Scoobynatural' - I like it when they give us a break from the on-going trauma filled story lines.

Season 14:

Episode 4 'Mint Condition' - fun episode

Episode 6 'Optimism' - fun episode

have you guys seen this yet? this is such a cool picture.

Season 15:

Episode 1 'Back and to the Future' - BELPHEGOR!!!!! (i only like Alex's version)

Episode 2 'Raising Hell' - a trip down memory lane

Episode 3 'The Rapture' - *shrugs*

Episode 7 'Last Call' - I just think its funny how Dean faked being able to sing for all those years, I assume to make Sam laugh.

Episode 8 'Our Father, Who Aren't In Heaven' - ADAM!!!!!!! MIDAM!!!!!!! THATS A RELATIONSHIP I WANNA JOIN!!! Oh and its a win for Destial too i guess.

Episode 15 'Gimme Shelter' - Jack & Dean bonding experience.

[minevn]

so now i’m curious— what would everyone here wear for halloween? (if they do wear a costume that is!!)

HI EDEN!! SO I'm actually working on a little Halloween drawing rn so there won't be any little doodles like you had but you'll see them when Halloween comes!

Minato: Tbh I can't see Minato dressing up for Halloween on his own, but if you wanted him to he would! I think his choice of costume would be something simple. Probably a ghost, just a white sheet with holes cut out for his eyes, but I think he'd spice it up a little with fun shaped glasses and maybe frayed ends on the sheet :3

Haruto: Would definitely want to do a matching outfit with you. He's probably been matching with you since you two first celebrated Halloween together. I think he'd be Swiper, from Dora LMAOOOOO Like idk if anyone else saw the trend where they were humanizing swiper on tiktok or anything, but something like that. Maybe just something fox related, like a kitsune though. It kind of depends if he's feeling more goofy or not

Jun: A magical girl. I'm not entirely sure which one but I'm thinking Madoka from Madoka Magica or Ichigo from Tokyo Mew Mew! Some pink magical girl protag, although I really wanna give Jun pigtails so most likely Madoka!

Hoshi: A clown. He'd been going as a clown for years, it's like his favorite costume. He definitely got into dressing like a clown back when killer clowns were trending back in like 2016. The renditions probably keep getting scarier and scarier.

Habiki: Probably wouldn't dress up on his own, but if you wanted him to...cat. He'd be a cat boy. If you give him attention for dressing up as a cat he'll be really happy but don't expect him to show it.

Kage: I think he'd be a plague doctor! It hides his face which gives him a lot more confidence. I just think a plague doctor fits them really well!

Kei: I think he'd be the classic vampire. I don't think he'd ever really celebrate Halloween but if you wanted him to dress up, that's what he'd wear :3

Yani: I think Yani would wear one of those bunny costumes, something that shows a lot of skin idk. She probably has Halloween costume planned for years in advance since she was never allowed to dress up before!

Aki: I think Aki would wear a pumpkin on her head and combine it with a witch costume, I think she'd like to make her own kind of costume or costume combos.

[tacklenet]

🔁 😍 An older project from back in the day @bassloverats → The Swim Rat pack (beta) rigged up and ready to fish. Special thanks to @southern_indiana_bait_co for the plastisol wizardry. 🐭Black with a stealth @wootungsten 5/0 1/4oz hook 🐭Green Pumpkin with @keitechusa Model III Swim Jig Green Pumpkin Tiger 5/0 hook 🐭Bluegill Flash with a Gamakatsu.usa 5/0 1/4oz Superline Spring Lock hook 🐭White with @ownerhooks Flashy Swimmer 5/0 1/4oz hook Have a killer color suggestion / swimbait hook combo? Let us know in the comments. We look forward to releasing Swim Rats in the near future as we finalize testing and optimizations. #swimrat #swimbait #ratlure #bassfishing #bassfishinglures #custom #softplastics #plasticbaits #fishlure #softplasticlures #bassbaits #hooks #bassloverats #basscandy #bass #fishing #bassfishingismylife https://www.instagram.com/p/Cocnt7csE2u/ https://tackle.net

[foodies22]

[perthfoodreview]

INVITED // Last Saturday’s delicious dinner - checking out the new menu of Street’s Oasis @streetsoasis in Girrawheen. Menu on @perthfoodmenu or click #PFR_StreetsOasis We tried the following: - Thai Boat Noodle Soup: Rice noodle, veggies, soft meats, meatballs, beansprout, and Thai basil ($14) - BEEF TATAKI: Medium rare beef with soft herbs salad and green dressing ($16.50) - Chicken curry: Grilled chicken thigh and pumpkin in creamy coconut curry ($16.50) with roti ($1.50 each) - Pad Thai: chicken: Thin noodle, eggs, with tamarind sauce, sweet radish, chives, beansprout, and peanut. ($16.50) - SOM TUM: Papaya, carrots, tomato, sweetcorn, long beans, chilll, garlic, peanuts ($14) - Gyoza: pork and chive dumpling ($12) - Original wings with Korean style hot and spicy sauce ($12.50) - Thai ice milk tea $5 Everything was delicious but my favourites were the Thai boat noodle soup (must-order) and their new menu item beef tataki. The beef slices are deliciously tender (yet not too raw) - killer combo paired with their next-level homemade coriander sauce and I absolutely loved the accompanying refreshing salad and sesame rice cracker. My niece proudly declared she would finish the Thai boat noodle soup on her own and she did - I guess “killed it” runs in the family. 😂 Thanks so much Mushal and Ne for your hospitality and I look forward to coming back again and again. ❤️🙏 #Invited #StreetsOasis #Girrawheen #Vietnamese #Thai #Japanese #Korean #BeefTataki #ThaiBoatNoodles #PerthFoodReview #PFR_ThaiBoatNoodles (at Street's Oasis) https://www.instagram.com/p/ChMRoZdvhBC/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[clexmas23]

Clextober is NEAR!

Let’s celebrate all things Clexa and one of the best seasons of the year! 

We’re talking fanart, fanvids, fanfics, mood-boards, photo manipulations, videos, fic recs, the works. You don’t have to participate every day. You can pick one, or three, or any combo you would like. Listed below are a few ideas to get your creativity going, but they are by no means strict guidelines. You do you, boo! 👻 

Remember to tag #Clextober21, #7DaysofClexa, and #(day/prompt) when posting. 

Example: #Clextober21 #7DaysofClexa #Day4 #Day4: Magic & Mystery, and of course, any other tags you’d like to add.

Day 1 - Red, Orange & Yellow All things Fall here. Cozy sweaters, flannel shirts, apple picking, changing seasons, fall festivities, sports team colors, bonfires, hayrides, baking, raking leaves! 

Does Clarke keep stealing Lexa’s favorite orange sweater, much to Lexa’s annoyance? Does Clarke’s red scarf fly off in a blustering autumn breeze only to be returned to her by a striking stranger with chestnut hair and the greenest eyes she’s ever seen? Is Lexa new to town and bumps into the most gorgeous woman she’s ever seen while at the annual Fall Festival? Does Lexa’s neighbor, Clarke, offer to rake her leaves for her, and while Lexa is very particular about her lawn care, she can’t say no because the thought of watching Clarke do manual labor is far too tantalizing? Does Clarke hide in a pile of leaves, waiting patiently to scare Lexa?

Day 2 - Pumpkin Spice Pumpkin patches, pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin carving, pumpkin spice candles, all things pumpkins! 

Do Clarke and Lexa brush their hands as they reach for the perfect pumpkin in a pile of pumpkins? Does Clarke mercilessly tease Lexa for her exorbitant candle obsession but finally give in when she stumbles across the decadent scent of pumpkin spice candles? Is Lexa a barista who makes the best pumpkin spice latte on the planet and Clarke just has to stop by every day, for the latte of course, not the alluringly hot girl making it? Does Lexa bake Clarke, her new neighbor, pumpkin muffins as a welcome gift?

Day 3 - Monster Madness Vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters, graveyards, aliens, beasts, frankenstein, demogorgons, creatures!

Is Clarke a human suddenly caught up in a civil war between the reigning vampire queen, Lexa, and the werewolves who are trying to overthrow her? Does Clarke lose a bet and has to walk into a graveyard at night, but just as she’s about to totally chicken out, her crush shows up daring her to go with that infuriating eyebrow raise of hers? Are Clarke and Lexa star-crossed lovers, destined to be together but forced apart by ancient traditions? Is Lexa the captain of the USCSS Nostromo, and Clarke is the new Executive Officer who insists it’s a good idea to land on an alien planet? 

Day 4 - It’s Haunted For Sure  Haunted houses, ghosts, urban legends, myths, campfire tales, creepy slumber parties, a spooky thrift store find!

Does Scaredy Cat Clarke try to put on a brave face when her best friend (aka her crush) insists on telling the creepiest stories she’s ever heard at their annual Halloween sleepover? Do Clarke and Lexa attend a haunted house with their respective dates only to wind up clinging to each other instead? Does Clarke buy an old radio from a thrift store when Lexa had a bad feeling about it, only to find out it has a mind of its own? Is Clarke a makeup artist for a haunted house and has to get up close and personal to a VERY gorgeous Lexa? Do Lexa and Clarke buy a house from the 1800s that Lexa insists has charm only to find out the place is being haunted by the little old lady who used to live there? Day 5 - Magic & Mystery Spells, potions, broomsticks, black cats, wishes, curses, witches, magic, murder mystery parties, Clue, escape rooms, unsolved murders, serial killers!

Is Clarke suspicious that Lexa might be a witch because of her massive collection of candles? Does Clarke find an old photograph of a gorgeous woman hidden in a dusty trunk only to be sucked into said picture and meet the mysterious woman from another time? Is Lexa a true crime fanatic who lures her girlfriend on a tour of the most infamous crime scenes in the country? Does Clarke go to a murder mystery party super confident she’ll figure out the murderer before anyone else only to be completely thrown off her game by the annoyingly aloof and beautiful Ms. Scarlett, aka Lexa?

Day 6 - Party Time Costume party shenanigans, clubbing, bobbing for apples, Halloween bar crawl, cider tasting, nighttime festivities! 

Does grumpy Lexa get dragged to a Halloween bar crawl but really start to enjoy it when she keeps running into a progressively tipsier (re: flirtier) Clarke? Does Clarke start a micro-cidery with her friends and decide to launch it on Halloween night, which turns out to be the best idea ever when the reporter assigned to cover the grand opening is none other than her former college crush, Lexa Woods? Do they click at a costume party but have no idea what the other looks like because, duh, costumes? Does one drunkenly confess her love for the other because she’s dressed as Wonder Woman and Wonder Woman isn’t afraid of anything? 

Day 7 - Free Day Happy Halloween, everyone! It’s FREE DAY! 

Didn’t see a theme that you wanted? Missed a day but now you suddenly have a brilliant idea? Today’s YOUR day.

If you need any more suggestions/inspiration, send me an ask. I’ll try my best to give you ideas, or you can always make a post for my friends and/or followers to come up with clever things for you.

[trinketprince]

Meet the Townies of Coral Island

Coral Island boasts about 50+ unique villagers! With 20 forming both bachelors and bachelorettes, let’s see the other half of the villagers!

Mayor Connor used to run his own general store before deciding to run for office many moons ago. He loves Coral Island and knows all the islanders. He lives by the creek in the Woodlands & his favorite past-time is fishing.

Dippa usually spends their day looking for inspiration and painting around Coral Island. Favorite spot: the lake. They do not like night-outs, feeling that those days are now behind them. A big fan of jam!

Joko is a local carpenter who lives in Hillside. Married to his wife, Dinda. He spends a lot of his time after work teaching his son, Archie, skills such as fishing or pumpkin carving near the forest.

Dinda is also a carpenter. Married to her husband, Joko. Other than carpentry, Dinda tends to her herb garden, cooks, and busies herself with community activities such as yoga on Saturday.

Zoe is a wild-life enthusiast, just like her parents. Zoe goes to school on the weekdays and spends her weekend following her dad around. She enjoys a game of volleyball, bird watching, and winters.

Anne makes a living by filming wildlife documentaries around Coral island. On the weekend, she can be found at the beach, enjoying the weather and sharpening her volleyball skills. She likes carrots and hummus combo for snacks and a cup of green tea to start the day.

Paul is a dad, husband and wildlife enthusiast. Along with his wife, Anne, the couple spends their days capturing wildlife footage around the island. He would leap out of his bed the second he is needed to save animals, without hesitation. Big heart, likes hummus.

Back in the day, Betty used to run the Tavern with her late husband, Frank Sr.. Now, she spends her retirement days going around town re-filling bird feeders, educating kids about coral reefs, and baking patisseries.

Frank and his brother, Noah, run the tavern at the town center. Though he doesn’t live there anymore, Frank spends most of his time at the tavern, trying out new recipes. Frank is married to his high-school sweetheart, Erika, and the couple live with their 2 cats, Peanut and Butter.

When Erika isn’t working at the salon or volunteering at school, she can be found around town, lending her ears to those in need, free of charge. She is honest and would say things as is. Perhaps a good candidate to marry if she weren't already married to Frank. Loves all sorts of jam!

Emily runs the hair salon with Erika and lives on the second floor of the General Store, with her husband, Sam. The couple has been wanting to start a family since getting married, however have been unsuccessful.  Emily has a heart for vintage items and thinks mushrooms are disgusting.

Sam owns the general store and is very proud of it. He lives on the second floor with his wife. Sam usually spends his day off relaxing at home, enjoying home-cooked meals, and working on puzzles. On the rare occasion that he goes out, he visits the Beach Shack to catch up with his friends over chess.

Ling spends her day working as a marine biologist at Coral Island laboratory. During time off, she knits cold weather accessories, beanies, scarves, etc. She has dedicated her life to study coral reefs, and how to make them more resistant to rising ocean temperatures.

As a full-time elementary teacher, Randy's remarkable ability to explain complex ideas in a very simple and easy-to-understand manner comes in handy. When he isn’t at school, he can be found at the Vineyard enjoying a glass of wine with his wife, Ling, or reading at the Library.

Bree is model-turned-housewife who spends her days doing quality control for her vineyard. She is also an excellent homemaker who loves cooking gourmet meals and throwing parties. With a little bit of light detective work, Bree should be in her late 40s, though she's never directly confirmed this. To this day, it remains a mystery.

Jim is a retired fisherman, he used to supply fish and seafood to local establishments. His son Theo inherited his boat and now fishes, something Jim is indifferent towards. With plenty of time on his hand, he spends the day making killer smoke salmon and helps run the Beach Shack.

Kira is a retired huntress with an adult son, everything in her life, right now, is basically self-sustainable. She spends her day keeping watch of the forest from the comfort of her cabin. Kira also enjoys doing yoga and playing the flute. Though retired, she still wears her combat boots, just in case...

Jack, his wife, Kira, and their son, Kenny live in a humble cabin in the forest. Jack works as the island’s rancher. Aside from taking care of animals, Jack spends his day managing the shop’s supplies, making sure that they have enough to sell. On some days that they don't, the ranch is closed early. His hobbies include watching cooking shows and “experimenting” in the kitchen.

Emma, not much is known about her.

Not seen so far are Joko and Dinda’s son and Surya’s cousin, Archie. Rafael’s niece and possibly Pablo’s daughter Valentina. And Oliver, these three + Zoe makeup the resident children of Coral Island. Making a total of 42 villagers so far.

In addition to Ben, Suki, Charles and Millie being dateable due to a stretch goal being reached, 4 more characters are added to the cast of Coral Island, bumping the total from 42 villagers to 46. So far only one has been revealed. 

The Giants. Legend has it The Kingdom of Giants existed to cultivate the rich soil of Coral Island. Ruins around the island depict Giants & what appear to be humans, farming alongside one another.

Agung, a merman from the Merfolk Underwater Kingdom.

Denali, a mermaid from the Merfolk Underwater Kingdom.

Apparently more Merfolk are being added. separate from the 40+ villagers, there are 20 Merfolk, 10 befriendable and 2 romanceable.

Not including the pets that each of the villagers have, the total amount of villagers in Coral Island so far is 66 unique villagers so far.

Check out Coral Island’s Twitter, Kickstarter and Website for more info on the game!

Check out Coral Island’s steam page!

[trans4rctic]

late nights ; bts

a/n: this was inspired by the beautiful who people who make "falling in love with [insert idol here]" and other such playlists that gave me the courage to do this. these are all songs from my playlist (yes really, issa mess) and i hope you like the combos i formed. i'll probably add more songs as time goes on but for now these are the choseon ones.

these are all in spotify so if you want me to make a youtube music version, i'll be glad to <3

enjoy ¡!

seokjin ♡

how to get physical ; magdalena bay

angel ; onlyoneof

lost in translation ; the neighbourhood

n°1 loves you ; phangs

gold rush ; taylor swift

can i call you tonight? ; dayglow

love my way ; the psychadelic furs

a certain romance ; arctic monkeys

aka... what a life! ; noel gallagher's high flying birds

thoughts from your car ; nodisco

nobody gets me (like you) ; wallows

into my arms ; coin

suburban wonderland ; between friends

don't panic ; coldplay

undisclosed desires ; muse

sunflower vol. 6 ; harry styles

helium ; glass animals

505 ; arctic monkeys

jungle ; cix

when it breaks ; inhaler

dionne ; the japanese house

goodnight n go ; ariana grande

if you want to ; beabadoobee

i think there's something you should know ; the 1975

butterflies ; fiji blue

playlist available here

yoongi ♡

mr disco ; new order

4ever ; clairo

love talk ; jus2

myth ; beach house

let there be love ; oasis

is it real? ; strange talk

comeback ; carly rae jepsen

eternal summer ; the strokes

evermore ; taylor swift

4u ; blackbear

daydreams ; easy llife

talk ; coldplay

like a friend ; pulp

robbers ; the 1975

first love / late spring ; mitski

golden skans ; klaxons

rome ; phoenix

sit next to me ; foster the people

greek tragedy ; the wombats

7 ; catfish and the bottlemen

single ; the neighbourhood

black celebration ; depeche mode

scar tissue ; red hot chili peppers

tranz ; gorillaz

bleach ; brockhampton

playlist available here

hoseok ♡

the rhythm of night ; vinyl theatre

stranger things ; kygo

good grief ; bastille

in dreams ; empress of

iloveyou ; between friends

summer love ; trevor something

dancing with our hands tied ; taylor swift

bite ; troye sivan

kiss me, kill me ; la bouquet

pools ; glass animals

avalanche ; walk the moon

alive ; xylo

must be a dream ; tempesst

landslide ; fleetwood mac

starry night ; mamamoo

surrender ; walk the moon

yea, babe, no way ; lany

without you ; oh wonder

i only wanna talk to you ; the maine

new romantics ; taylor swift

heart out ; the 1975

treat me like a lover ; will joseph cook

let's get lost ; carly rae jepsen

static space lover ; foster the people

youuu ; coin

playlist available here

namjoon ♡

if you're too shy let me know ; the 1975

cornerstore ; arctic monkeys

bloom later ; jesse

alone with you ; kito

the greatest ; lana del rey

believe me natalie ; the killers

false god ; taylor swift

life is simple in the moonlight ; the strokes

kyoto ; phoebe bridgers

east of eden ; zella day

clocks ; coldplay

imagination ; foster the people

lovers rock ; tv girl

ava adore ; smashing pumpkins

after midnight ; wayv

lovesong ; the cure

scary love ; the neighbourhood

cherry ; lana del rey

bbblue ; olivver the kid

III ; foster the people

meet me in the hallway ; harry styles

i love you so ; the walters

fourth of july ; sufjan stevens

one more love song ; mac demarco

mirrorball ; taylor swift

playlist available here

jimin ♡

this must be my dream ; the 1975

human ; the killers

midnight ; fickle friends

a little longer ; lauren presley

light ; ateez

be the one ; dua lipa

flowers ; the neighbourhood

what you wanted ; onerepublic

coachella ; lovelytheband

superstar ; said the sky

i think i'm in love? ; phangs

baby came home 2 / valentines ; the neighbourhood

long story short ; taylor swift

let me love you like a woman ; lana del rey

number 1 ; loona

love like you care ; perlo

10k summer nights ; eighty ninety

little league ; conan gray

moonlight in my bedrom ; nodisco

montage ; bares

love again ; gregory dillon

gamebody ; hbd

daphne blue (acoustic) ; the band camino

stayway ; muna

me & you together song ; the 1975

playlist available here

taehyung ♡

alone with you ; gregory dillon

love maze ; bts

honey + tea ; mozi

medicine ; the 1975

territory ; waterparks

love lockdown ; glass animals

ribs ; lorde

softly ; clairo

lights up ; harry styles

treat her better ; mac demarco

asleep ; the smiths

i would do anything for you ; foster the people

love is a laserquest ; arctic monkeys

august ; taylor swift

4 am ; olivver the kid

when the party's over ; billie eilish

skylines ; glades

poet ; bastille

fuck it i love you ; lana del rey

strawberries & cigarrettes ; troye sivan

butterfly ; bts

talk to me ; cavetown

daylight ; taylor swift

truce ; twenty one pilots

slow dancing in the dark ; joji

playlist available here

jungkook ♡

i wanna be yours ; arctic monkeys

matter ; shallows

sad people dancing ; la bouquet

venice ; magdalena bay

hide & seek ; loona

rainy days in la ; adam&steve

ink ; coldplay

perfect ; public

drive all night ; joan

the birthday party ; the 1975

remember when ; wallows

peach pit ; peach pit

a kiss ; the driver era

stargazing ; the neighbourhood

the truth untold ; bts

2 hold u ; clairo

happiness ; rex orange county

feb 14 ; cavetown

glass in the park ; alex turner

stay ; post malone

lover of mine ; 5 seconds of summer

smithereens ; twenty one pilots

exist for love ; aurora

you are in love ; taylor swift

old eden ; honeywater

playlist available here

[dustofbrokenheart]

The Covenant: Coffee Shop Date

Reid Garwin x Reader

Word Count: 1,414

You sped into the first open parking spot you saw at The Brew and rushed to unbuckle yourself. In fact, you were so rushed that you didn’t even give yourself a final glance-over in your car mirror.

You were already super late so you just had to cross your fingers that your face and hair still looked as good as when you left the dorms. Power walking, you entered the cozy coffee house and didn’t even have to bother looking for Reid.

Your date saw you as soon as you stepped inside and whistled loudly. “Babe! Over here!”

You noticed the blonde instantly, not only because of the noise, but also because he was waving a beanie around back and forth. You walked over to the corner booth and shook your head.

“Put the beanie down Reid. You look like you’re trying to direct traffic or something.”

He lowered his arm. “Too much?” he asked not at all embarrassed.

“Just a little,” you answer, putting your thumb and index finger centimeters apart. “The color is festive though. Orange doesn’t look to bad on you.”

While you were speaking Reid pulled his hat back on. He smoothed out the ribbed fabric, brushing his blonde hair off of his forehead.

“What can I say, I’m a slut for Halloween. Just wait until I put in the matching earrings.”

He had recently gotten his ears pierced, and was currently rocking black studs, but you wouldn’t be surprised to learn he actually owned orange earrings. Even if he didn’t, he was the type to buy a pair just because he had joked about it.

You choked while trying unsuccessfully hold back your laugh. It was no use. Your laugh was the kind that came from the gut and shook your whole torso. Reid didn’t mind though; your open reactions are one of the things about you that prompted him to keep asking you out on dates.

The laughter trailed off and you leaned across the small table to poke the stud. “Black is a great color on you too though.”

Redi grabbed your wrist and pressed a kiss on the inside of it, right on the part where the tendons and veins were clustered. Your instant reaction was to pull away and hide your hand under the table. Reid and you were a fairly new item—in fact, not even an official item yet—so you were still much shyer with public affection than he was.

What if someone were to see?

Not one to be deterred, his foot crept forward under the table until he made contact with yours. You looked at him with wide eyes, but he continued to poke at you until you finally smiled. Many people would be surprised to know how respectful Reid was of your boundaries and he never judged you for being reserved.

Eager to pick up the conversation again, you asked, “So… did you order anything?”

“Nah, I wanted to wait for you,” he admitted shyly tugging at the beanie. To recover from his moment, he teased, “But if I had known how long it was going to take you to get here, I could have got something and finished it before you got here.”

“Sorry,” you stressed. “I couldn’t find my keys! And, of course, they were in the very last place I looked.”

“That’s pretty lame excuse, babe.”

You got in line to order and kept trading wits. “You know, I’ve never actually been to The Brew before.”

“And you call yourself a local. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Okay, big man, you order first then,” and you shoved him at the counter. You heard him telling the young cashier boy what he wanted, but you were too preoccupied trying to choose something off of the menu to hear what he said.

“What can I get for you miss?” asked the cashier once Reid was finished.

“Hi,” you told him while still reading the board in the front of you. It would probably be best to order something you were familiar with, like tea. “I’ll get a small cinnamon tea and that’ll be it.”

“Oh. Are you sure? We have really good muffins or egg sandwiches, if you want something to eat.”

Reid snapped his fingers in the boy’s face. “They said that’s all, bud.” The cashier jumped, like he just recognized Reid for the first time.

Reid had a bad reputation around town for being a delinquent what with his piercings, tattoos, and confrontational attitude. So, the kid being spooked by him wasn’t too out of the ordinary. But that didn’t stop Reid from grumbling about him.

“Don’t worry about it,” you patted his shoulder. “People in Ipswich can be judgy.”

He gave you an unamused glare. “That’s not my problem with him.”

You cocked your head in confusion. So what was bothering him?

The cashier called out that your order was ready. Taking the initiative to pick up the drinks, you went to grab the cup carrier from him and your fingers touched his.

For a spilt second his face blushed pink and he looked at you with wide eyes. In the next second, he dropped to the linoleum floor. Hard.

It didn’t look like he had slipped on anything. In fact, it looked like he was pushed down. Which was even more impossible than the first scenario because no one had pushed him. Unable to make out what you had just seen, Reid sauntered up behind you and looked on with satisfaction at the cashier who was struggling to get up.

“Serves him right for checking you out like that.” Reid grabbed the cup carrier from you and walked back to the table. He tossed over his shoulder as a parting remark “Take it easy, bud.”

You made sure the poor boy was okay before following Reid back to the table. You still weren’t quite sure what to make of that fall, but you had figured out what had set off Reid.

“There’s no need to be jealous, you know. I’m pretty sure he’s only a freshman.”

“Trust me, just cause he’s a freshman doesn’t mean isn’t interested. I know flirtatious intent when I see it, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes. Reid was always under the assumption that other people were interested in you. Which made no sense because Reid was the only one who ever showed interest in you entire four years at the academy.

“But justice was served, so I guess I’ll leave him alone.”

“You’re such a meanie,” you say while testing your drink with a tiny sip. “Hmm. This is actually pretty good; it’s a nice fall flavor.”

Reid noticeably perked up, eager to get back to the date, and started talking to you about fall related things.

“You want to carve pumpkins sometime?

I’m glad the birds are heading south—I hate dealing with bird shit.

You should definitely perm your hair for the costume. Seriously. Do it.

Candyman is the best dressed movie killer period. That fur coat was straight luxury!”

Never let it be said that your time with Reid was boring. His thought process was unique and his observations even more so. You didn’t know many people that ranked movie slashers on their fashion. Or seriously recommend that you perm your hair to make your disco costume more believable. (Your parents would hate him for that, they preferred your hair straight.)

During a lull in the conversation, Reid grabbed his cup and realized he still had some of his cider. He waved it in front of your face and offered you some. You quickly agreed and found it was even better than the tea you ordered. You’d definitely have to get this if you came back soon during the fall you thought as you wrapped your lips around the straw and took another sip.

Suddenly, Reid interrupted your cider enjoyment and blurted out, “Are you ready to leave?”

His question left you feeling a bit hurt. Was he bored already? Still, you managed a nod. You didn’t want to keep him here if he didn’t want to be.

“Good,” he said, leaving you even more sour until he whispered in your ear.

“Cause I’ve been dying to kiss you for the last twenty minutes and I know you don’t want me to do it here. Meet you back at the dorms?”

Well. It seemed he definitely wasn’t bored of you yet. 

_______________

I don’t recall Reid having pierced ears in the movie, but he already has tatts and the beanie/fingerless gloves combo, so I figure it’s not that far of a jump. Thanks for reading! 

[satanicshamrock]

Favorite Smosh Videos

A post for @lum1natrix​ of my favorite/classic Smosh videos; they’ll be split between two channels (plus events that both channels are in) and categorized with links. Some are in playlists, so the links may not even be needed, but just in case! <3

Smosh Games Channel

Maricraft Series - Older Videos:

Take me to Church

Naked Prisoner

Attacking the Monkey King

Lasercorn Finally Snaps

Terrifying Tornado Escape

Wes Betrays Smosh Games

Smosh Games Civil War

The Ultimate Alliance

Maricraft Series - Newer Videos:

Guess Who’s Back?

Never Trust Lasercorn

We Go Back to Outlaster Island

The Trial of Lasercorn

The Conviction of Lasercorn

Semi-Scripted Maricraft Series:

Outlaster

Block of Love 

Twilight Saga (Playlist goes bottom to top)

Smosh and Order:

Summer Games on Trial

Lasercorn takes Smosh Games to Court

Joven gets Thrown out of Court

The People vs. Shayne Topp

Court is now in Session

Game Bangs:

Mystery Jelly Bean Nightmare

Dead by Daylight Wedgies

Revenge of Secret Hitler

Try Guys Learn Dirty Words

Fan Fiction Induction (Damien’s Induction into Smosh Games!)

Boze is a Serial Killer - Friday the 13th

Gross Candy Cane Taste Test

Biggest Game Bang Ever!!

Board AF:

Intense Construction Battles

Adult Telestrations

Betrayal at House on the Hill

Betrayal Continues

Uncensored 5 Second Rule

Don’t Breathe!

Lip Reading Challenge

Five Nights at Freddy’s: The Boardgame

Totally 90′s Superfight

Radical Superfight Continues

We are Terrible Friends

Smosh Family Outburst

Smosh Pit Channel

Put it in my Mouth:

Epic Cheese Challenge

Thanksgiving in a Can w/ Rhett and Link

Why do these Sodas Exist!?

Sushi w/ Atomic Mari

Raw Vegetable Challenge w/ Courtney

Weirdest Food Combos Ever w/ Lasercorn

Worst. Smoothies. Ever. w/ Smosh Games

Terrible Prison Foods w/ Shayne

Disgusting Food Combos w/ Lasercorn

Noah’s Top 5 Worst Foods Ever

Seriously Super Stupid Sleepover:

Accent Challenge w/ Smosh Games

Never Have I Ever w/ Joven and Sohinki

Stranger Strings w/ Noah and Shayne

Guess that Song w/ Thomas Sanders

☘️ Egg Roulette Challenge w/ Damien Haas and Shayne Topp (First vid Damien was ever in, just as a guest! :D)

Don’t Pop the Balloon!

Squad Vlogs:

We Play Twister

Guilty Pleasures Revealed?

Pokemon GO Beach Hunt

Tiny Hands Challenge

Crazy Smosh Christmas Photos

We Play Scattergories!

Makeover Challenge

What’s in my Pants Challenge

Pumpkin Carving Challenge

We got Lost at Disneyland

We are Master Debaters

Drawing Pokemon from Memory

The Worst Product Jingles

Medieval Dance Battle

The Show with No Name:

How Shayne Died

When Mari almost Died

Olivia’s Best Episode

Opening 6 Year old Chik-Fil-A Sauce

Try Not to Laugh:

#5 w/ Gus Johnson

#6 w/ The Valleyfolk

#9 w/ Damien

#12 w/ Jujimufu

#13 w/ Joe Bereta

#17 w/ The Valleyfolk

#22 w/ Rhett and Link

#24 w/ The Try Guys

#26 Apocalypse Gauntlet pt.1

#27 Apocalypse Gauntlet pt.2

Smosh Family Events

Smosh Summer/Winter Games:

Summer Games 2015 Playlist

Winter Games 2016 Playlist

Summer Games: Camp 2016 Playlist

Winter Games: Again 2017 Playlist

Summer Games: Wild West 2017 Playlist

Summer Games: We Blew It 2018 Playlist

Summer Games: Apocalypse 2019 Playlist

Annual Halloween Just Dance:

Halloween Just Dance 2014

Halloween Just Dance 2016

Halloween Just Dance 2017 pt.1

Halloween Just Dance 2017 pt.2

Halloween Just Dance 2018 pt.1

Halloween Just Dance 2018 pt.2

Hope this Helps, Traci! There’s a Tumblr community of Smoshblrs if you look in the right places too - have fun! 

<333

[brokehorrorfan]

Blu-ray Review: Wacko

Scary Movie may be the most well-known slasher parody, but it was far from the first. The spoofs began shortly after the one-two punch of Halloween and Friday the 13th kicked off the subgenre's golden age. Between 1981 and 1982, slashers were skewered in no fewer than five films: Student Bodies, Saturday the 14th, Class Reunion, Pandemonium, and Wacko.

The latter, released in 1982, is the perhaps most obscure of the bunch, but it comes from cult director Greydon Clark (Without Warning, Uninvited), and the script is penned by four writers who would go on to find success in the industry: Jim Kouf (National Treasure), David Greenwalt (Angel), Dana Olsen (The ‘Burbs), and actor Michael Spound (Hotel). While not as successful as their later work, Wacko does open with the killer, after carving his mask out of a jack-o'-lantern, uttering his mantra: "Death to all teenagers who fuck!"

The film centers around Mary (Julia Duffy, Newhart), who, as a child, watched her older sister (Claudia Lonow, Knots Landing) get chopped up by a killer with a gas-powered lawnmower on Halloween night. 13 years earlier, Mary is a senior at Hitchcock High preparing to attend the annual Halloween Pumpkin Prom and lose her virginity - which brings up not only traumatic memories but also the killer's return. The only other person who believes that a murderer is on the loose is the aptly named Detective Dick Harbinger (Joe Don Baker, Fletch), who serves as the Loomis of the story.

Clark often added cache to his B-movies by casting notable actors of yesteryear, but Wacko features one of his best casts. It includes George Kennedy (Cool Hand Luke) as Mary's perverted doctor father and Stella Stevens (The Poseidon Adventure) as his doting wife, Andrew Dice Clay (A Star Is Born) making his acting debut as the cocky, Fonzie-esque cool kid, Elizabeth Daily (Pee-wee's Big Adventure) as a fellow student, Anthony James (Unforgiven) as the school gardener, and Charles Napier (Rambo: First Blood Part II) as the chief of police.

Despite being a slasher spoof with a plentiful cast of potential victims, Wacko’s body count is low. The script doesn’t poke fun at the subgenre so much as it merely uses slasher cliches to set up unrelated comedic beats. At times, it feels more like a parody of teen sex comedies and police procedural tropes. Nearly four decades later, much of Wacko's absurd humor is dated - not to mention grossly politically incorrect - but one can imagine it being quite funny in its time. Some of the laughs still hold up, particularly the Airplane-esque wordplay and sight gags. Clark also isn't afraid to break the fourth wall.

The score, composed by Arthur Kempel (Double Impact, Graduation Day), largely adopts a horror resonance yet has a playful, quirky undertone. The most-used cue in the film, however, is Charles Gounod's "Funeral March of a Marionette," best remembered as the theme from Alfred Hitchcock Presents. It's one of several recognizable genre elements referenced in the film, along with the likes of The Exorcist, The Omen, Psycho, Dr. Strangelove, The Elephant Man, Alien, and The Island of Dr. Moreau.

Wacko has been newly restored in 4K from the 35mm original camera negative for a Blu-ray/DVD combo pack from Vinegar Syndrome. It features reversible cover art, and Vinegar Syndrome’s online shop offers an exclusive, embossed slipcover designed by Earl Kessler Jr., limited to 2,000. The film looks crisp and bright, although the high definition reveals such details as the least convincing stunt double for Kennedy.

Clark contributed a new audio commentary that's packed wall-to-wall with information about all aspects of the production. Unsurprisingly, he admits that Airplane was an influence, and he also mentions that Julia Louis-Dreyfus and James Spader were nearly cast in the lead roles. Cinematographer Nicholas Josef von Sternberg (Tourist Trap) sits down for a seven-minute interview in which he reflects on his experience of making Wacko and his other collaborations with Clark. Additional extras include several deleted scenes (presented without sound) and the trailer.

Wacko is available now on Blu-ray/DVD via Vinegar Syndrome.

[marvel-medigeek-fics]

The H Word: Hits

Part 3/? 

SUMMARY: Freedom always comes with a fight, and trauma makes people do uncharacter things. 

WARNINGS: language, violence

A/N: I know the last part was really short, and I hope this makes up for it. I am TERRIBLE with stretching out my fics, but practice makes progress. 

If you are struggling with anything mentioned (or not mentioned) in this story, please reach out to someone. You don’t deserve to suffer, especially alone. 

Word Count: 1731

It was just over 24 hours until Bruce finally let you return to your room. I had been a long, draining time of looking over your shoulder to see if anyone was coming. And that fear was for a multitude of reasons: a stranger coming around, anyone who was not Nat or Wanda and sometimes Sam coming around even, but mostly, it was because of the overwhelming sense of no privacy. 

It had been 24 hours and you couldn’t even do the one things you wanted to do most. Cry, and cry alone. Your bed was a welcome sight and as soon as you could, you jumped into it, savoring the plushness and freshly washedness of your blankets. 

“Whoever washed my sheets deserves some brownie points,” you said, throwing off your shoes and climbing under the covers.  “I’ll take those brownies anytime, Y/N,” Sam called from the doorway. Nat and Wanda rolled their eyes in sync.  “He did not wash your sheets. I doubt he even knows how to turn on the washer.” Nat said.  “Yeah, or even what laundry detergent is, or where we keep it,” Wanda said, her accent coming out thicker than usual as she continued Nat’s sarcasm. 

“Thanks, you two. For you know, being my girl code enforcers, or whatever,” you said as they headed for the door to leave you with your new found privacy. 

“You’re always welcome. We wouldn’t want to be the girl code enforcers for anyone else,” they said together, a talent you hadn’t really noticed before.

—

The first thing you wanted to do was take a damn shower, cry a little (or a lot), and then sleep like a baby. So you turned the shower up as hot as you could manage, in an attempt to wash off every bit of shame, guilt and anger you’d felt over the past day or so. The feeling of the water was enough to make you cry from how good it felt. Crying about anything feels terrible, but less so in the shower. Crying, crying, crying. You probably lost more water than the shower was shooting at you because of how much crying you did in the shower. 

By the time you had dried off, arranged your hair off of your neck and wrapped up in the softest clothes you owned: a sweatshirt from a long forgotten trip, running shorts and a fluffy robe, the sun had gone down and the skyline was lit up like the thousands of stars you hadn’t seen in so long. 

The blankets felt even softer after a long, long, long shower and you soon fell asleep, despite your mind’s protests. Those tears and this day had taken a lot of you. 

—

The next morning was one of those mornings where everything looks like it is going to be perfect. The sun shone through your blinds and cast its beams over your bed. It was warm and your first thought was to go back to sleep, but as soon as your eyes had closed again, someone was banging on your door. 

“Rise and shine!!” whoever was yelling this sounded so happy to be alive, it instantly put you in a worse mood. Like how can you be so chipper in the morning? 

You tried to fall back asleep, but a different voice chimed through the room, FRIDAY. “Mr. Wilson is requesting your presence in the kitchen. He says it is very flipping important. He also said for me to emphasize the flipping.” 

You groaned and laid in bed, wishing that it was a day where Sam would not decide to be cute or something and would let you sleep instead. But you finally threw the covers off, determined to have a good day outside of bedrest. 

After pulling your hair up and out of your face and getting dressed in something a little more flattering than a huge sweatshirt and shorts, you finally trodded downstairs into the kitchen. 

The entire team stopped their boisterous conversations as soon as you walking in the door. They each stared or looked away in what they thought was reverence, but was really just plain awkward. “Um, hi, guys,” you said, trying to break the very uncomfortable silence. No one said anything for a moment, and you tried to figure out if you were dreaming or invisible or anything that wasn’t that everyone was staring at you in silence like they didn’t know how to speak anymore. 

The first one to speak was Clint, “Finally! Sam can serve us some pancakes!” So that was what Sam meant by flipping. With Clint’s words, the whole kitchen seemed to unfreeze and people hopped off the counters and sat at the table. 

“I made pancakes!” Sam said cheerfully, topping everyone’s plates with 3 pancakes. 

“Yeah, Sam, I’m so proud you didn’t burn the place down.” someone said. 

“Hey! These are actually good!” Clint said, shoveling another massive bite into his mouth. 

“No shit! I have had lots of time to perfect my pancake making skills.” Sam bit back. 

“So, how are you doing, Y/N?” Steve asked, taking a prim bite of his pancakes. 

You nodded slowly, “I’m surviving. A shower helped.” 

Nat, who was sitting next to you, placed her hand over yours, reminding you of the girl code you had established so long ago. Your stomach grumbled like a killer whale’s mating call, that is to say, it was very loud. 

So you started eating your pancakes and listening to the team. You didn’t feel like talking really, just listening. Pietro was too busy speed eating to do any talking and across the table, Clint and Bucky were trying to make ridiculous topping combinations and get Steve to gag. Blueberry syrup and applesauce. Pumpkin and matcha powder. Freeze dried strawberries, pop rocks, and melted ice cream. But Steve didn’t falter. 

Tony and Sam were perched on the counters, talking about something in hushed tones. Maybe it was just anxiety talking, but you could’ve sworn they were talking about you.

“After you’re done, we’re training,” Natasha said after you had finished off your second pancake. You didn’t usually train with the team, because you were merely a tactician, who stayed away from danger and told the team the best moves to take. 

“Training for what?” You had a decent idea, but asking questions never hurt anyone, especially harmless ones like that. 

“Self defense,” she said simply and before you could press for details, she was walking away. 

“Self defense,” you muttered, taking another bite. The table was now mostly empty, the only two left were Sam and Tony, still leaning against the counter. 

“Sooooooooo, Y/N,” Tony began, “What’s the plan for today?” 

“Eat these pancakes. Train with Nat. Hopefully, a nap later,” you replied, your answers clipped to try and stifle the awkwardness. 

“Sounds fulfilling.” 

“That’s not a word in your typical vocabulary.” you quipped, twirling the fork absently through your fingers. 

“Want some more pancakes?” Sam blurted out, rushing to you with another plate. 

“No, thanks. I have work to do with Nat.” You handed Sam your plate and walked out. 

—

It was 20 minutes before you made it down to the training room, where Nat was busy sparring with Bucky. Wanda was stretching or doing yoga, or something. Pietro was running. Steve was punching on a punching bag angrily. 

You cleared your throat and all at once all the activity ceased. You crossed your arms and tried to look badass, but it seemed to look a little like a little kid crossing their arms indignantly.  

“Let’s get started,” Nat said, pulling off the badass look with less juvenile-ness.  “Treadmill.”

So you took the treadmill nearest to you and started running, surprising you with how good it felt to move. 

After 20 minutes of running, you felt a little better, sweaty, and definitely in a more stable mental state. 

“Do you know how to throw a punch?” was Nat’s first question. 

“Yes, actually,” you replied, hoping to surprise her, but she just cocked an eyebrow and beckoned for you to demonstrate. 

So you punched. Thumb out, unlocked elbows, fast and clean. 

Bucky whistled, clearly impressed. “Ooh, hoo, tacty! You can throw a punch.” 

“Good,” Nat nodded approvingly, “Now for blocking.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she threw a left jab, which you easily ducked. Right jab met the same fate, with Nat’s wrist caught in your grip. You smiled, challenging her for more. 

“Okay, okay, okay!” Nat said, wriggling her arm out of your grip. “Let’s do this. And I won’t go easy on you this time.” 

You rolled your eyes and stood in position. 

“I’ll be the ref,” Bucky said. “DOn’t kill each other, don’t break any bones, mercy ends the fight and don’t forget I am stronger than both of you and have no problem beating up rule breakers. Let’s do this. Go!” 

You’d been watching Nat for a long time, it was kind of your job as tactician. So you knew her first punch would be a left hook. You ducked under her fist as it swung towards your face. The second punch was a combo: right hook, left uppercut, double right jab. Each of which you dodged and managed to throw in a beginner’s punch to her shoulder.  

The secret to fighting, you’d learned early on, was to know your opponent better than you know yourself. That hadn’t worked so well for you two nights ago, however, so you wanted some redemption. You sent a kickaround to the back of her knee and sent her toppling. But she was up in a second and another punch was thrown. She was angry. But anger makes you slow and one punch, two punches, sent her nose into full waterfall mode. A kick was next, sending her backward and blood splattering on the mat. 

In a flash you were over her, your eyes flaming and your muscles uncontrollable. “Let’s finish this, “ you snarled. Your brain was horrified by this, but it had no control anymore. It was almost like something else was taking over and kicking your normal brain out. 

“Y/N!” Bucky yelled, pulling you back from Nat. Her blood was on your hands and suddenly you were back. Waking up, alone, afraid and so impossibly shattered. 

You were sorry. Blood always means you’ve gone too far. 

[shijebi]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Hallow’d We’en is nearly upon us! B’gone now or b’scared by the assortment of b’witching lore below!

"FIRE WITCH” 

This tormented spirit of a woman burned alive wears a dress of pure flame over her cracked, obsidian skin. Roaming the night, following the sound of crackling embers, legends say the Fire Witch seeks to smother the flames of man’s hubris, and to return civilization to the darkness which she herself is damned. With eyes like broken acorns, the Fire Witch relies on her sense of hearing to track prey. Said to especially enjoy eating children who play with matches.

Weaknesses: Silver Ingots, Blessed Mirrors and Tapestries

“SATAN CLAUS”

Despite appearing identical to the benevolent Santa Claus, this gigalithic monstrosity brings only terror, not cheer. Looming over the countryside, its claws extend to rake away the year’s bountiful harvest, and its lungs bellow a frigid air into the earth’s fresh wounds. Its minions collect he sulfurous hellstone it dredges up, and stashes the filth under the beds of naughty children. Transgressions such as stealing, fighting and playing with matches will mark children for a visit from Satan Claus’s little helpers -- and likely a trip to the doctor for Black Lung.

Weaknesses: Virtue, Goodwill

“EVIL PUMPKIN MAN” (or known in some cultures as “Evil Mister Pumpkin”)

Beware, those easily deceived by looks! -- for despite his identical appearance to that of a Good Pumpkin Man, this ne’er-derring-do’er is just that but a lout! Wearing a cloak of pure flame o’er his cracked, obsidian skin, this beast tears at its prey with mandibles of Cerberus-envy. Souls b’gnashing in his maw, lifeblood drips one-two, one-two to the two-tap step of little pumpkin feet! Though he appears in legend around the globe, none dare speak truth to his origin -- how come a gourd so foul b’carved, and with such skill, destined to be a killer? Does no good artisan keep honor-bound to their people? No! -- as for this Evil Pumpkin Man still roame, symbol of the crafters’ ill, and failure of the goodness in man’s heart. Damned be those who work a carver’s knife not for butchery but for artsome whittling! Such foul invention only emboldens arsonists and even match-players among children!

Weaknesses: Vice of Sloth, Strong Workers, Honesty

“ARCH DEMON”

Its looks may be deceiving, but this is no mere Greater Demon. Cloaked by wings of pure flame, this obsidian-skinned beast has achieved the Seventh Blessing of Laments through centuries of campaigning among its fellow demons in the depths of Cocytus-Inferior. Among its most devastating attacks is a multi-hit combo performed by swinging its gargantuan, ape-like arms and finishing off with a fire-based wing smash. Only warriors with precise enough timing can ever hope to fell such a creature, and less still could have enough stamina and wits to beat all three at the end of the level.

As a creature of pure chaos and dread, this creature is AMORAL and is therefore incapable of enacting justice, vengeance or any kind of punishment on ne’er-do-wells or children playing with matches, instead choosing to egg them on and enjoy the situation as it unfolds.

Weaknesses: Silver Weapons, Anti-Children Playing with Anti-Matches

“ANTI-CHILDREN PLAYING WITH ANTI-MATCHES”

These saints among us are defined solely by their complete diametric inversion of all aspects of children playing with matches. When anti-children playing with anti-matches and children playing with matches join, a resulting no children playing with no matches is created. However, before and after joining, the net sum of children and matches are equal and preserved as per standard thermodynamic law. Science predicts in the distant future, anti-children playing with anti-matches will outnumber children playing with matches. Some theorize this reflects the current state of distress in the universe, particularly among supernatural creatures with a strong fire-safety subtext.

Weaknesses: Anti-Parents, Anti-Rainy Days

[aldrichgoleman-blog]

Natural Remedies for Seminal Leakage while Urinating

What Is the Best Treatment for Sperm Discharge after Urination?

What Causes Discharge After Urination?

There are many causes which can trigger the problem of semen leakage after urination.

Here is a list of causes and risk factors that promote and aggravate the problem of sperm discharge in males belonging to different age-groups.

Poor sexual behaviour is one of the common causes of the problem. Males in habit of enjoying hand-practice are common victims of semen with urine problem. Frequent hand-practice promotes fluid build-up around the prostate and even inflammation in gland to cause the problem. Males enjoying too long foreplay or suppressing discharge to prolong their duration of climax also face the problem of semen with urine. These are common reasons and risk factors for sperm discharge after urination problem.

Injuries to nerves in the groin region are other causes which allow semen to pass through during urination. Cycling and riding and long sitting hours are common causes that inflict injuries in the groin region and makes nerves weak and lethargic. Due to weak nerves, sperm comes out after urine easily.

Side effects of medicines like sleeping pills, pain-killers and diuretics and other medication given for controlling BP, kidney infections etc. also promote this problem by affecting nerve functions. If you face sperm discharge after starting any medicine you need to consult your physician.

Prostatitis is a condition that causes inflammation in the prostate. This condition is caused by a bacterial infection. Chronic and acute prostatitis both are causes of semen loss after urination.

BPH is age-related disorders but it can affect males at a younger age as well. Enlarged prostate size constricts urinary canal and obstructs urine and semen flow. It causes retrograde ejaculations which bring semen with urine stream.

Apart from these, there can be many other causes of the problem.

Natural methods are the best treatment for sperm discharge after urination that provides complete relief.

Natural Remedies for Males to Stop Sperm Discharge After Urination Completely

Drink 2-3 cups of stinging nettle tea regularly. This tea diffuses inflammation in the prostate gland and improves its functions. Healthy prostate gland cures the problem occurring due to congestion of retrograde ejaculation. The healthy prostate gland is beneficial for sound fertility and better potency of a male.

Eat a handful of pumpkin seeds twice in a day regularly. These seeds are sources of zinc and dilate blood vessels to optimize blood flow in the groin region. A healthy flow of blood improves the health of the prostate and also nerve functions to stop involuntary loss of sperms after urination.

Drink green tea with honey regularly if sperm comes out with urine frequently. Green tea is loaded with antioxidants that reverse age-related debilities and also heal injuries by improving flow of blood to cure the problem.

Include turmeric in cooking. This spice is a powerful anti-inflammatory and diffuses inflammation and cure the infection. You can also add two teaspoons of turmeric powder to a glass of warm milk and drink once in a day. Turmeric milk is a good way to clear inflammation and gain even blood flow all over the body.

Perform kegel exercises and resistance and aerobics. These exercises improve hormonal balance and also energy circulation in the body to relieve problem occurring due to poor stamina.

Yoga poses are good and effective ways to gain control over bodily organs and improve their endurance. Perform yoga poses regularly to relieve the problem.

Use Herbs

There are many herbs that have been described in Ayurveda for curing problems like semen loss after urination.

Here is a list of few renowned herbs popularly recommended for handling the problem.

Shilajit

Ashwagandha

Safed Musli

Kesar

Vidarikhand

Gokhshuru

These herbs provide the best treatment for sperm discharge after urination and also reverse its adverse effect over male health and virility.

Herbal Supplements

To make use of best herbs in most convenient manner use of No Fall capsules is best.

These pills come with multiple herbs blended in perfect combo to treat the problem of sperm discharge holistically and for the long term.

Regular loss of seminal fluids or sperms cast serious side effects over male health and potency.

These supplements not only control the problem but also reverse side effects and bless a male with upbeat virility and vitality.

These address root causes of the problem, reverse debilities and provide long term relief.

Use of No Fall capsules improves male’s potency and boost-up his fertility.

These also improve energy and stamina and keep a male in sound physical and mental health.

Due to purely herbal nature these supplements do not need any medical prescription before use.

These can be used as preventive remedies for BPH and by males prone to suffer with poor prostate gland functions due to other reasons.

The problem of semen with urine is hazardous and affect male’s love-life.

It shall not be ignored and proper treatment shall be taken without delays.

Herbal supplements are best cures and provide multiple benefits along with fast treatment.

If you liked this article, then please subscribe to our YouTube Channel for All Natural Health Tips. You can also find us on Twitter and Facebook.

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Smarty Pants”

He takes you everywhere with him; you sure come in handy and you have an impeccable reputation when it comes to your skills. But why would he think that a nerdy girl can’t get wild?! Well, you are determined to prove him wrong.

Your reading is interrupted by the commotion going on outside your bedroom: gunshots, screaming, cursing and doors being kicked opened.

What now?! you think, turning the page, continuing your book when you hear:

“Nyx! NYX!!!!!!!!! Where the hell are you, you son of a bitch?!”

You look down at Nyx’s dead body under your feet, a bit startled. That’s Mister J’s voice looking for the jerk; he’s probably not going to like this. Dammit! Your door gets kicked opened and you lift your head from your book, adjusting your reading glasses and look at The Joker, who’s now standing there, not very happy to say the least.

“Doll, I didn’t know you’re here,” he frowns, stepping inside. “Still working for the…ass..hole…” he notices Nyx’s corpse with the chopstick in his eye and your feet resting on top of the body.

“Not anymore, Mister J,” you close your book, hoping he won’t snap. “This was the second time he tried to rape me, so I had to defend myself,” you say, pulling out the chopstick, wiping it on your shirt and placing it back in your messy bun.

J narrows his eyes and lowers his gun.

“Can’t say that I blame you then, but I sure wanted to blow his brains out myself. What are you reading, Doll?” he exhales, still annoyed.

“Quantum Physics and Applications,” you show him the cover, smiling.

“Any good?” he squints his eyes, intrigued.

“Pretty boring actually but interesting enough,” you lift your shoulders and take your feet out of the high heels, getting up the couch. The shoes are left on Nyx’s chest since the hills are buried deep in his flesh.

“You’re such a smart Doll; I like clever girls…” he grins, analyzing you. “We’re going to blow this place up, care to get out of here?” The Joker sniffles, signaling you to move and you do so. You quickly cram a few books and all your reading glasses in your backpack and head out the door.

You probably seem very disappointed noticing all the blood on the hallway since you don’t have any shoes on.

“Yo, Frosty!” J yells and Jonny pops his head from the next room.

“Yes, sir!”

“Be a gentleman and help the lady out,” he orders, starting to walk away.

“Of course, boss. Hi, Y/N,” he comes in front of you, waiting.

“Hi, Frost, I didn’t see you in forever,” you genuinely grin, surprised. He lifts you up in his arms, carrying you over the soiled hallway while you’re both chit chatting.

“Hey, Doll,” The Joker interrupts, “ wanna come work for me? I assume you’re unemployed for the moment.”

“Really?” you inquire, kind of excited.

He turns and snaps at you: “I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure, OK????!!!!!”

Shit, he has such a temper, you think, but you are used to everything by now. You worked for so many messed up people.

“OK, Mister J. And yes, I will come work for you,” you sweetly smile and his sour expression diminishes.

“Good, I always wanted you to work for me. I like smart girls.”   Didn’t he say this already?

******************

He takes you everywhere with him; you sure come in handy and you have an impeccable reputation when it comes to your skills.

“Y/N, am I getting a good deal out of this?” he taps his cane on the floor, getting you attention at the meeting and you lift your eyes up, gazing at all those men in the VIP room that devour you with their eyes. Creeps! You sure are wanted by a lot of them and you know it, but you have the right to decide who you’ll work for so… yeah, here you are.

“No, Mister J, the price of diamonds went up with 15% on the black market since last week. You need to get at least 1 million more in order for this to be a good deal.”

“Ahhhh, did you hear that boys? I’m getting screwed over! Make it two millions for trying to trick me,” he snarls, giving them a crazy look. “I don’t like it when people try to cross me, got it?” he grins his silver teeth, panting. They Know better than not to agree with The Clown Prince of Crime. He gets what he wants.

*******************

After the meeting, he sits in his armchair, keeping an eye on the club and staring you down also.

“What are you reading, Pumpkin?” he addresses you, biting on his lower lip.

“Dark Matter and Black Holes,” you reply, wondering why in the world he keeps on calling you all these pet names, but you know better than opening your mouth to protest about it.

“Care to elaborate?” J lifts himself up and comes on the couch, nonchalantly placing his head on your knees and lifting his feet up on the pillows.

“Are you sure?”

He rolls his eyes and you start talking and gesticulating because you sure don’t want to make him mad. The Joker finds himself interested in your little presentation; you sure put a lot of passion into it since you love the subject. He even asks a few questions that you are more than happy to answer, blushing when he takes your glasses off and you instinctively reach for your chopstick.

“Don’t you dare using that chopstick on me, Y/N,” he cracks his neck, growling.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry, old defensive habit, I swear I am not going to stab you in the eye; I really love your eyes!” you blur out fast, hoping his not going to kill you for your transgression. Shit, your cheeks are burning when you realize what came out of your mouth.

“Do you now, Kitten?” he snickers, putting your reading glasses back on.

You nod a fast yes, hoping you’re on steady ground. You wouldn’t know, but The Joker felt like he was taking a piece of lingerie off when he took your glasses away. It made him feel so strange and now he wonders if he found himself a new kink. Like he needs another one. But he sure loves all the colored frames you have to match all your sexy enough outfits (as he refers to them). You’re pretty and nerdy, not a bad combo.

“Tell me something in French, Doll,” he requests and you start talking, intrigued on why he’s taking your glasses off again. Weird but, hey, whatever.

“That sounds so sexy, what does it mean, huh?”

“Last night I washed dishes and did a bunch of laundry,” you chuckle, taking your glasses from his hand and placing them on his face. J doesn’t stop you and you gasp while he laughs at the translation; he sure thought it meant something naughty.

“Wow, Mister J, you look so good with glasses,” you utter, mesmerized. The thin green frames sure match his hair and shirt perfectly.

“You think so, Doll?” he winks and you get flustered, upset at yourself for saying such sweet nothings; you’re not the type. Stupid hormones! you scold yourself in your head, aggravated.

“U-hum,” you mumble and take your glasses back. Jesus, why do you feel so warm? It sure felt like you were undressing him just now when you took his glasses away. My God, please don’t let this be a new kink, you don’t need it, thank you.

The Joker traces your jaw line to tease you more because he’s a jerk:

“Tell me something in Italian, Y/N,” he pleads, biting his tongue. You can’t help but glare at his lips and start rambling.

“I like the way it sounds, Princess. What does it mean?”

“All the dirty things I want you to do to me tonight.”    Did this crap just came out of your mouth?!

“Ha-ha-ha, that’s better, finally something I wanna hear,” he cracks up as you squirm, uncomfortable as hell.

“No, no, no, no, Mister J, that’s what it literally means, not that I want you to…Christ, this sounds terrible,” you try to defend yourself and J decides to give you a break. He gets up from your lap, still snickering and you so want to cover your face but you don’t. It would make it worse.

“I guess we had enough foreign languages for tonight, right? Let’s get back to the Penthouse, it’s getting late.”

***************************

“Y/N, am I getting a good deal out of this?”

“No,” you promptly answer, closing the book you’re reading. “The price of guns and explosives on the black market went up 17.2% this week. You need at least $500.000 for this to be a good deal.”

“Well, I’ll be damn,” he passes his fingers through his hair, snarling towards the other business partners in the room. “How did I get this rich on my own without her?! Make it 1 million boys, just for insulting me with your stupid offer!”

*************************

After another successful meeting (for The Joker, that is), he becomes interested in your book.

“And what are we reading today, hm?” he points towards the covers, coming over to your couch and placing his head in your lap again.

“The Science of Interstellar,” you hover over him, excited to share.

“Care to elaborate?”

“Oh, yeah, I love this book, “ and you keep on talking and talking and J finds himself immersed in the subject, not even being bored. He takes your glasses off again and inhales deeply, listening to the sound of your voice. Why does he keep on taking your glasses off?!

“Oh!!!” you suddenly jump a bit, ending your speech. “I love this song!”

“Huh?” The Joker asks, getting up because you bounce your legs, impatient. He never saw you show any interest in anything like this and you sure accompany him at his meetings a lot. Since he’s a complete jerk, he decides to wear your glasses and you gulp when seeing how good they look on him:

“Wow, Mister J, you look soooo stunning with glasses!”

“Yeah, I know, I was told before by a nerdy girl,” J licks his lips and you get up from the couch, take your jacket out and toss it in his lap, starting to swing your hips to the rhythm of the song. (which is Madonna & David Guetta- “Revolver” by the way).

What is she doing?! J asks himself, since you never did this before. You sure didn’t have any alcohol. It’s the hormones, but he wouldn’t know.

 “My love’s a revolver, my sex is a killer,

Do you wanna die happy,

Do you wanna die happy?” you sing along and start giving him a lap dance he didn’t expect in a million years. Jeez, who thought you had it in you? But he likes it, oh yeah, he likes it because you are actually very good at it. He runs his hands on the side of your legs and you reach your hand for your chopstick. J sure wants to grab his gun but you stop him and lean over to whisper in his ear: “I’m not gonna use it, I told you I like your eyes…yes?” and you kiss him, euphoric, throwing the chopstick on the table to let your long red hair loose.

Holy shit, the Joker thinks, completely surprised by the whole thing. Who would have thought you are so naughty?! This is turning out to be a nice night, especially since he learned about Interstellar stuff also. He doesn’t remember a word you said earlier right now because you sure grind against him, ready to kiss him again.

“Ohhh, Daddy likes it,” he grins, smacking his lips and you straddle his lap, pulling on his bottom lip.

“Really?” you stare at his eyes again and…the song is over. “Ah, too bad,” you pout and get up, fixing your hair like nothing happened. “Shame is over, I sure love this song, it drives me wild,” you signal for your jacket and J hands it over, intrigued. WTF, are you the same person?! He’s sure aroused as hell.

“I didn’t think you could do such a thing, Doll,” J admits, attempting to cross his legs but he can’t so he gives up.

“Why, because I read books and I’m smart?!” you suddenly feel offended.

“A-ha,” he is fast in replying since he sees an opportunity there.

“You have no idea how crazy I’m in bed; don’t generalize things just because I’m a bookworm Mister J!” you sulk, furrowing your eyebrows.

“If you say so…” he rolls his eyes, reaching for your book.

“What, you don’t believe me?!” you kind of yell, even more annoyed.

The Joker just lifts his shoulders up, pretending to dismiss your words.

“You want me to prove it to you?!” you almost shout, antagonized at his attitude.

“If you insis..” J doesn’t get to finish because you yank his glasses away, pissed and wanting him in the same time, crushing his lips and tearing his shirt off while he struggles to be the dominant one (without success)for the first 15 minutes. That didn’t happen before but he admits he doesn’t mind it.

Thank God the music is deafening so nobody hears your moaning and screaming and his grunting because it would be very loud.

**********************

You watch him tuck his shirt in and you are just finishing up buttoning your tight capris.

You are panicking because now you realize what a bad idea this was. Sleeping with your boss?! Dammit, stupid hormones!!!

“You were sure telling the truth, Pumpkin, Daddy loved it,” he purrs, satisfied.

“What’s wrong?” he wants to know when he realizes you’re talking to yourself.

“I don’t sleep around, Mister J,” you whimper, upset.

“You’re not sleeping around, Doll, you’re sleeping with me, ok?” The Joker huffs, not getting the picture.

“Oh my God, stupid hormones!” you mutter, massaging your temples.

“What was that, Y/N?” he asks because he can’t hear over the music.

“I said it was awesome!” you raise your voice, mad at your stupid nerdy ass. But it was really awesome, can’t lie about it.

**********************

The next day he took you over to Jax’s hideout for a meeting, of course.

“Doll, am I getting a good deal?” J lifts your chin from your book, a bit vexed you are not paying attention. You were actually thinking about how good he looks naked and it sure bugs you.

“No, the price of gold went up 12.3% since last week. You need at least $750.000 for this to be a good deal,” you sigh, watching all the dudes staring you down.

“Mister J, I’ll give you 2 millions more if you let Y/N work for me for a month,” Jax is fast to negotiate and since J believes it’s a good deal, he agrees:

“Done!”

You look up at him with your mouth open, not excited at all: “I don’t want to  stay here, Mister J, I work for you,” you complain, hurt he is giving you away like you’re a thing.

“It’s just a month, Doll, you’ll be fine. Plus, I wasn’t asking, got it?” he shoves his finger in your face, irked because he hates insubordination. You sniffle, wanting to cry with anger but you keep it together and start reading again, not really seeing the words.

*****************************

The Joker starts missing you after two days and it annoys him sooooo much. He keeps on looking at the books and reading glasses you left behind. You didn’t take everything with you since you will be gone for only four weeks. How hard can it be without her? he thinks. It’s not that he didn’t manage without you before you came to work for him. Piece of cake, he decides.

He brought one of the girls from the club, dressed her with your clothes and gave her a pair of your glasses. He even takes her to a meeting and she is sitting on the couch like you used to, reading a book she doesn’t understand.

“Doll, am I getting a good deal?” he turns towards the girl and she freezes.

“Ummm… I don’t know Mister J… “ she honestly replies, scared.

“How can you not know?!” he screams at her. “Y/N would know!”

“I’m sorry Mister J,” she apologizes and starts crying.

“Oooh, shut up!” he cuts her off, wanting to strangle her.

That didn’t go well.

After everyone left, he goes and places his head on her knees, aggravated she’s not smart like you.

“Which one of her books are you reading?” he questions the girl and she shows him:

“Quantum Physics and Applications,” she manages to articulate, almost shaking.

“I know that one,” he smiles for a second then he gets grouchy again. “Care to elaborate?” he barks at her and the poor girl start bawling, stammering her words: “I-I don’t k-know, M-Mister J, I c-can’t understand a-anything.”

“My god, you’re so stupid!” he elbows her with murder on his mind. “Do you know French?”

“N-No,” she keeps on weeping, scared for her life.

“Do you know Italian?”

“N-No.”

“Then what the hell are you doing here, huh? GET OUT!!!!!!” he shouts, getting up and pushing her away. That didn’t go well.

*************************

“Y/N, Mister J is here,” Jax lets you know and you don’t lift your eyes from your book because you don’t want to see him. What is he doing here after 3 days he basically sold you for more money?! You don’t want to work for Jax, you don’t like him. You only pick employers you like. And right now you don’t like J either. Big problem I guess.

“Mister J would like to drink a…”

“I know what he likes!” you lift yourself from the couch, aggravated, slamming your book to the side, still not glancing his way and go to mix his drink. When you bring it back and hand it over, The Joker touches your fingers with his, holding them for a few seconds and you finally glare at him. What the…? He’s wearing your purple reading glasses to match his jacket and cane. Your mouth opens with surprise and he just blinks slowly, pretending he doesn’t care about anything. What kind of strategy is this?! you think, puzzled. What is he up to?!

You turn on your hills and head back to your seat when he addresses Jax:

“I want my employee back; I’ll give you 5 millions!”

“Done!” Jax is fast in agreeing before J finishes the sentence because how can he refuse such a deal?! He doesn’t know what’s going on but he doesn’t need you that badly. He’s getting so much more than he paid for you so it works for him.

In the meantime you just watch them, perplexed, hating your life: WTF, am I cattle or what?!

*******************

He’s been driving for 20 minutes and you didn’t say a word to him.

“So what’s the last book you’ve read, hm?” J starts the conversation, squeezing the steering wheel so hard it hurts.

“How to Deal With a Shitty Boyfriend!” you grumble, crossing your arms on your chest and looking out the window. (It really is the name of the book. Sometimes you read fluff like this).

“Sounds like an award winning one,” he snorts, amused you’re so feisty. “Care to elaborate?”

“NO!”

“Do you even have a boyfriend? Why would you read such nonsense?” You bite on your cheek, moving away from him more.

“Well, then, do you care if I listen to music?” he asks because he has it all planned.

“I don’t care!”

“ ‘kaayyyy,” and he turns on his stereo. Sure enough, Madonna’s “Revolver” starts playing.

“Really?! Really?!” you get even more worked up, and finally turn towards him.

“Wha’? You said you don’t mind so…” “Pull over!” you demand, impatient but he can’t notice it yet. “We’re in the woods, I don’t wanna pull over,” he argues, sucking on his teeth.

“Pull over I said!” and you take your seatbelt off, making him yank at the wheel and park on a small, dusty road. “Jeez, are you trying to…”

But you don’t let him finish. You crawl in his lap and start kissing him roughly, unbuttoning your shirt in the same time.

“God,” you moan,” this song drives me wild!!” You bite his ear and he starts purring, delighted. It worked, he thinks, horny as hell, unhooking your bra.

Stupid hormones, you think, mad at yourself again but eager to get him naked as fast as possible.

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist