#and scary to see the parallels to our reality

[umbralsong]

Racism in Astarion's Writing

There is a fascist takeover happening in Europe. Again. With pogroms targeting racialized and marginalized groups. Being at all silent about how media affects our perception of reality would be irresponsible of me. I stand in solidarity with you all. I will polish this as I go along, but this is for anyone who wants to understand.

Block, report, and move on from the inevitable racist shitheads. We have work to do.

Donate to Gaza here: https://gazafunds.org/ Support good causes with a click here: https://arab.org/ Ceasefire Now: https://ceasefire-now.com/ Donate to the [Sidewalk School] [Pay your rent], settlers. [KOSA Resources]

There is a... let's be charitable for a moment and call it "knee-jerk" reaction to discussions of racism in fandom. To call it character assassination, exaggeration, slander - anything but to acknowledge the dehumanizing system of power that underlies every part of this imbalance. It's only scary if you don't understand it, and as part of another group under siege for half a millenia, I am intimately familiar with it.

There are Romani perspectives on Astarion's storyline I would encourage everyone to read before mine. I don't wish to link them in case this post gets targeted. Please lend them your kind support and sincere gratitude for their contributions.

I do not "forgive" a character for questionable biases. I wonder why the writers put it there. I question its purpose in the narrative and the effect it has on the story and audience.

Let's discuss the effect:

The racism in Astarion's storyline serves no purpose, but the effects are harmful.

I've played evil (poorly). But I also have a very fucked up sense of humor and understand the appeal of a well-written fucked up little dude. Take, for instance, this Warlock from a BG3 playthrough:

Absolutely vile, but a clearly theatrical/satirical look at a classist piece of shit, you know, that sort of character. Take it as a palate cleanser after reading, and then gather your strength.

This is not a post about liking flawed characters. Please take your strawman, dust behind you, and move along.

I often find the trouble with depicting racism is the inherent unfamiliarity with the subject in a majority-white writer's room and company. There is an idea of what it entails, but not its purpose, and not its day-to-day application.

There is a veritable treasure trove of knowledge out there that I've ended up having to take in small parts. It is not easy hearing about the ways people have hurt others, systemic and otherwise. I genuinely want us to learn from this and be better for one another.

So when I see depictions of people who are Indigenous and Romani and Sinti, I wonder... why? And why were these writers chosen for this character/storyline?

In Astarion's storyline, from what I can tell, he makes light of stealing the Gur children. I can tell this is meant to be a depiction of guilt and deflection. What sucks is the fact that he's ultimately a white man making light of the fact that's... historically what they do.

The point, I believe, of him "following Cazador's orders" is to invoke the Nuremberg Defense. The tragedy is that Astarion, by D&D logic, literally couldn't do anything but follow his command. It's implied because he's defensive as hell, but he feels exceedingly guilty regardless. For all we know, it's earned.

Is Racist Magistrate Astarion still canon? If so, his "grudge" against the Gur is motivated by racism. Is that something we are prepared to confront with more than a line? Was he just a (maybe recently?) privileged asshole exercising his newfound power? In that case, his use of systemic power over the Gur may be read as a parallel to his storyline. But then the Gur need autonomy as well.

There is something to be deconstructed here, but I would not know its intimacies from my perspective. Others would. They may restructure it altogether so that it makes sense for their experience.

Here is what I know, and it should not be on this group alone to point it out: The inappropriate misuse of these tropes has encouraged racism in the fandom at large.

Performing a script well is not the fault of the voice actor, nor is the twisted logic of fans the fault of the writers. I am pointing out that reckless inclusion of certain ideas can have very unfortunate implications:

So stealing their children, expressing little remorse, and then "sparing" them the pain of executing stolen marginalized children is a good ending? I'm adding some untagged comments here for emphasis:

I find it interesting the game recognizes the complexity of the situation regarding the spawn and doesn’t punish the players or Astarion whatever the choice as long as they aren’t doing it for selfish reasons. Some good, thoughtful writing there.

Wow, even as a dedicated Astarion romancer, I was beginning to feel like it was a little unfair how much more recognition Neil is getting over the rest of the cast, but now I’m reminded of why. I’ve finished the game 3 times and never even considered not sparing the spawn, because if he deserves a chance, why don’t they? But the conviction he has behind his words in this makes me think I’ve been making the wrong choice.

Person 1: I really dislike Ulma. She’s such a judgmental Monday morning quarterback. Person 2: same, no matter what you do she'll blame Astarion for things that were outside his control

Spawn Astarion sparing their children as spawn is better and in line with his story, but for some reason, that isn't acknowledged through commentary, dialogue, or mechanics... thus, again, unfortunate implications:

To the spawn Astarion, Greetings from the family of Ulma, hunters of monsters and keepers of peace across Faerun. We know this letter finds you well, for although we hunt you no longer, we do sometimes keep a watch. Your restraint and control over your bloodlust has been admirable. Indeed, it has been an inspiration for our children, who have struggled with their own hunger. These last months have been a difficult time for our people. We have protected and nurtured our children as best we can, and we have learned much. Herbs we once used to dull our foes' minds are now sedatives to ease hunger and pain, restraints built to hold the undead now protect them from themselves. There has been a lot of pain, but a lot of progress too. Our children learned discipline and control, while we learned compassion and patience. There was a time when we would have destroyed any undead creature, our own blood or not, and called it a mercy. But then we met you. Wer saw that redemption was possible. Difficult, yes. Painful. But possible. You saved our children first from Cazador, and then from us. For that, we thank you. We will watch you still, but with more admiration than fear. Walk in peace, Astarion.

And, according to these commenters, it's better to kill them because the marginalized Elder is never satisfied with the man who stole their children?

It sounds so casual, I think. Perhaps they don't know what stealing children from a community really means.

60s scoop/residential school/reeducation camps trigger warning:

(The Scream by Kent Monkman. Alt text in link.)

Look at this painting.

Take it in with me for a moment. It is a scene taken from many memories and one. Look at how these families fought to stay together. Look at how they fight priests, nuns, and state officials - ones who my friend assured me are very friendly - how they grasp at their children with such painful desperation on their faces. It is a way for one to bear witness to unfathomable love and heartbreak.

When genocide deniers play their games, this is what they want you to pretend never happened. Don't mind the tens of thousands of child graves, or the stolen land. Just pretend these people are criminals out to swindle you, or steal your wives.

Growing up, listening to survivor testimonies, and the sweet reverberance of the remnants of survivors of slavery, you appreciate what you have. You remember every kindness. You love what you lost, and what you gained through gritted teeth.

And, you remember the unfathomable pain. It's why you promise to stop it from ever happening again, to anyone.

It is very sad. A heart is a heavy burden. Embrace it. To love is to live again, and to live again means you understand Never Again. Because people deserve to be happy. And that's worth a fight. That's why it's worth depicting with care and love, even when the subject matter threatens to choke you.

Let's get into Cazador Szarr.

I've played the game and understand that he has a backstory and some depth. What disturbs me is that an Asian man has the bloodiest, most brutal scene in the game with a white man killing him.

I can't let this be undiscussed as sinophobia rises in a pandemic. I am no authority, but I'm not ignorant. These posts are found in discussions of racism in BG3 and I would, again, prefer not to put a target on their back. Instead, show them support.

In terms of diverse storytelling, casting, and roles, I would only ask that a historical and sensitive look be applied. Hire people from these communities to act, direct, and write for that role. Writing is never easy. There is a weight and responsibility to it, but it's worth it to touch as many souls as possible.

I respect this history. That is why it is not something I believe should be thrown in as flavor text. It's why history needs to be respected as a great backstory to everything we create. We need each other, and we need art we create together.

The debt is yet to be paid.

[nekohime19]

Macaque study # S2

Alright, let's go for Macaque analysis in season 2!!

After Macaque's introduction episode we got a pretty one dimensional frame with a very manipulative villain who got some past with the Monkey King. This is our impression of Macaque, and the fact he's cool (at least that's my impression).

Shadow powers are cool and Macaque animation, imagery, soundtrack and fight sequences are very cool!

Let's see what season 2 brings to this one dimensional frame. Do we get to see some nuances already? Or is he still the same villain?

Season 2 ep7

Season 2 is the continuation of season 1 in the sense that the show keeps its episodic nature and keeps introducing MK's new powers, even if we do have an underlying plot with LBD.

Macaque appears in episode 7 (“Shadow Play”) which already by the title, if you remember Macaque gimmick in s1, you can get an inkling about who's gonna be the focus here without watching the episode in itself. But what is interesting this time is that MK's friends are involved with Macaque. Whereas in season 1 Macaque's episode was focused on MK, Wukong and Macaque and the other characters only made a brief one minute apparition, this time more of the main cast is here!

What I think is interesting from the start is, very much like s1 ep8, the episode starts with MK having a confrontation. This time it's not with Wukong but with Mei and Tang who mainly complain about how MK don't spend much time with them anymore. It's interesting how Macaque's episodes in s1 and s2 always start with MK arguing with the people he cares about and somehow creating a wedge between him and those people. In s1, Macaque used the wedge and tried to widen it, we'll see what he does about the wedge this time.

Also, even as a joke, I think it was so funny to have this parallel :

Wukong being the action-phased movie and Macaque the more traditional theater play is such a funny contrast. It goes with what they're portraying of themselves to others really.

What I really like about this episode is how Macaque's aesthetic with the shadows is emphasized, the animation really delves deeper in the unsettling, almost creepy feels of the shadows. We got doors that close by themselves, things that move in the dark and under the seats, puppets that move by themselves. We really dig into the horror movie aesthetic with this one and even the characters feel it, they're scared of this.

Macaque without even being on the screen yet already puts the mood. What I find interesting is that contrary to other villains like LBD who are naturally scary because of the way they are

Macaque is scary because of what he's doing with his shadows, because of the shows he creates. Without the moving shadows, the doors which close by themselves, Macaque is not that scary, by that I mean the way he's animated, the way he carries himself is not as scary as let's say LBD. Macaque put on a show to be scary. In my opinion, that shows how Macaque put on a mask to be something he's really not, to appear as a villain when in reality he's way more nuanced than that. He's acting. In s1 he was acting and lying the whole time, acting like a hero in front of MK, acting like Wukong's comments didn't bother him during the final confrontation.

He's always acting. And he keeps doing so in s2. You can see in both seasons he's smiling a lot but in the later season his smile will be more and more rare, making you wonder if this cruel smile he had since the beginning is also just a part of the act. I'll go back to Macaque's smile in s3 bc oh boy this monkey smiles a lot even when he's tortured by LBD.

Now, let's talk about the shadow play and what we can get out of it, and what it means.

The first part of the shadow play :

Macaque : Welcome viewers to a shadow play the likes of which have never been seen. It follows the tragic tale of a legendary warrior and how those who bring light in this world inevitably bring darkness to those they hold dear. Like light heroes bring warmth, hope and friendship but they also give life to the darkness.

So, a lot to unpack already.

First the fact that Macaque qualifies Wukong as a “legendary warrior” when the word “warrior” is more or less reserved to Macaque, makes you wonder if in this particular sentence Macaque is not talking about Wukong but himself. “It follows the tragic tale of a legendary warrior and how those who bring light in this world inevitably bring darkness to those they hold dear.”, if we go with the interpretation that the legendary warrior here is Macaque (despite the image showing Wukong) then the connotation “tragic tale” makes more sense, considering Macaque perspective is skewed and he will sees what happened to him as “tragic”and it is less likely for him to qualify what happened to Wukong as “tragic” when he has so much trouble recognizing what Wukong endured in the first place.

Of course, the mention of light and darkness is a reference for both Wukong and Macaque. Macaque is always insisting on how Wukong is not perfect, how the hero is not flawless, how light cannot exist without darkness. Macaque wants to destroy this image of the flawless hero Wukong portrayed for so long but he does not take into account that mayhaps this image wasn't created by Wukong himself but by the people around him. And perhaps, in a way, he tries to connect himself to Wukong by saying that light and darkness goes hand in hand, even if unconsciously.

The mention of “those who bring light in this world inevitably brings darkness to those they hold dear” is, I think , a very salty line. It's the world vs loved one conflict for heroes. The “I'll sacrifice you for the world” type of thing that I think Macaque is very salty about. Wukong chose the world instead of him. On the contrary Macaque is personally more of a “I'll sacrifice the world for you” type, and that's why he's so salty about this. There is a clear confrontation between the terms “world” and “those they hold dear”, Macaque is putting “bringing darkness” to the heroes' loved ones as a consequence of “bringing light to the world”. For him it's inevitable, which speaks volume of how he thinks his relationship with Wukong went, he's putting the blame on what happened between them on Wukong hero status.

The idea that Macaque said of heroes giving life to the darkness is clearly an implicit way to say that Wukong created him. Which is not wrong, if we go with the interpretation that Wukong killed Macaque, but Macaque is denying so much of what Wukong lived through right now. His perspective is really skewed.

Macaque : The hero and the warrior were like the sun and the moon. Their light a protective glow shining upon the world. Together there was nothing that could stop the two of them. Either in the celestial realms or on earth. As time went on the hero attained power beyond comprehension as the hero’s light grew so too did his shadow and soon the warrior was cast in that shadow. In the darkness the warrior was forgotten by the hero.

Again, a lot to unpack. Macaque stops trauma dumping through theater.

Clearly, Macaque's view of his past relationship with Wukong is very unhealthy. He qualifies them as the “sun” and the “moon”, as two being in perfect harmony. We can see how the “world” is separated from this balanced duo. Macaque, in his head, didn't need anyone but Wukong. They were two beings against the rest. It was Macaque and Wukong against the world. The brotherhood is not even mentioned which spoke volumes about how Macaque felt, he never valued the brotherhood, we'll see that more in s4. What causes the imbalance between the hero and the warrior is “power”. I think we can easily agree that Macaque is talking about Wukong's search for immortality and the battle against the Jade Emperor. Wukong's search for power broke the balance between Macaque and Wukong. Again Macaque mentions the darkness and how Wukong casted him there, I think it's a lil unfair to say this because Macaque was naturally placing himself in Wukong's shadow already (but we'll see that in s4 again). We can see Macaque's fear here : being forgotten by Wukong. And I think he still has this fear inside of him and perhaps that's one of the reasons why he tries to get Wukong's attention so much by taunting him and trying to rile him up.

Also, calling someone the “sun”obviously speaks volumes about how much you admire this person. You can't call someone the sun without at least putting them on some sort of pedestal (perhaps it's because I love shadowpeach but I see some romantic implications in there, but again you do you).

In between the shadow play we can see how Wukong's absence is putting pressure on MK, he believe he sees Wukong when in reality it's just one of Macaque's shadows.

After the play, we have a montage of MK with the Shadow play in the background and MK relating to the warrior.

This shot of MK touching his shadow is clearly a way to convey how MK relates to the warrior casted in the shadows. Monkey King leaving makes MK feel as if he's inadequate, MK deals with a lot of insecurities about this, about being right and worthy and it pushes him away from his friends.

When Macaque confronts MK and MK realizes that, yes, it was Macaque all along, what I find interesting is that once again Macaque brings Wukong in the conversation. Saying how now that Wukong is not here Macaque should teach MK a lesson. Macaque cannot help himself but brings Wukong into this even when Wukong is not here. There is also the “one and only” line that Macaque uses to reveal himself, a call back to Wukong's “one and only” line in the pilot episode when he introduced himself.

After this, Macaque and MK fight and once again the choreography of the fight is so cool. But once again, Macaque is stealing so much of the spotlight. He cannot help but comment on everything even when he's not in the frame, his voice is always ringing. Really, each time we got a scene with Macaque this guy is at the center of it, he's acting, and he's acting so good he grabs your attention.

Now what Macaque says is pretty self explanatory : MK is abandoning his friends. The “classic hero manœuvre” comment really shows how bitter Macaque is about heroes because of what happened with Wukong.

Now, while there are parallels between Macaque and Wukong, there are also a lot between Wukong and MK.

First the way they're both pressed down by shadow clones and uses golden vision to escape :

Second is when MK pounced on Macaque. The images used here are actually also used in season 5 during the very brief flashbacks we get about Wukong and Macaque fight.

So while Macaque's lesson is more than shady, there is some basis of truth in his accusations. MK really ressemble Wukong on a lot of things. They both really care about the people they love and will do anything for them. Wukong lost himself with this purpose and in some very asshole-y way Macaque is trying to prevent this with MK.

What I think is also interesting to consider in this episode is if Macaque planned this so-called lesson or if he simply took the opportunity when he saw MK and his friends and perhaps eavesdropped on their conversation at the beginning of the episode (where MK's friends were complaining about MK distancing himself). We know the team went to the Shadow Play because they saw a poster and the play was always going to be about the “hero and the warrior” considering the illustration on the poster. But did Macaque manipulate them into coming or was it just a lucky coincidence is never really answered. At the beginning of the episode we see other people in the theater so I might be inclined to think it was a coincidence. Would Macaque really create a whole shadow play and advertise it to the town just for teaching a lesson to MK? If Macaque simply took the opportunity to teach MK a lesson it might explain why he feels so confusing in this episode : the lesson was not planned but the result of an impulsive action after hearing that MK was distancing himself from his friends and perhaps seeing the shadow of Wukong in his behavior. In fact, Macaque might not even know why he's doing this but hides it really well.

MK also has some flashbacks of LBD during the fight with Macaque, while I think it's a form of PTSD I also suppose it could mean the way Macaque took away his friends and are controlling them reminds him of LBD and his fear of LBD doing this.

What confuses MK and us as an audience and makes us think : Okay maybe Macaque wasn't doing this just to be a jerk. Is when Macaque blocks MK's staff. He could have easily won here but instead he chose to stand down and free MK's friends which is a very confusing thing to do for a supposed villain.

Even MK doesn't understand Macaque's motivations.

In truth, Macaque never really gave away his motivations even if we can heavily speculate about it. The only thing he says is : “I kinda wanted to do the whole watching the hero be tormented by their own mistakes thing but seems like you’re already doing this by yourself”. But if Macaque's only goal was to torment MK then why would he talk about “potential”.

Macaque (at the end of the fight) : you're right, that is enough. You know you really are that bit too much like him but it's good to see that there is some potential.

I think this line betrays Macaque's true intentions, it's not all about tormenting MK (even if he pretends it is minutes after the “potential line”) it's about MK not taking the same path as Wukong, if it’s out of care for MK or out of fear of another Wukong being created is still debatable.

Unlike in s1 where Macaque used the wedge between Wukong and MK to his advantage and tried to widen it, here instead Macaque is trying to make MK realize the wedge between him and his friends, no matter how badly and how asshole-y he does it.

It's perhaps here that MK realizes Macaque is a more confusing individual than he initially thought and that's why he goes after him even after getting his friends back. MK is still very snarky with Macaque but there is some sort of comprehension when he points out how Macaque was the warrior in the story. Macaque even warns MK about LBD in his own very ambiguous way, he even does a call back to s1 with the “You can never have too many teachers” line, again a lil spite directed towards Wukong when Wukong is not even here.

I think this is a very important detail, MK realizing Macaque is confusing and maybe not as one-dimensional as he thought he was. It's important for MK and for the audience.

While Macaque is still very much a jerk AND a villain here, the fact that he did not finish MK, that he did not finish the fight despite having the ability to do so. The fact he's trying to teach a lesson, no matter how shady it might be, the fact he's even warning MK about LBD makes you think : yeah, he's maybe not fully bad.

Macaque said there is some potential in MK, well when you see this episode you say to yourself maybe there is some potential in Macaque too, to become better.

At the end of the episode you get Macaque’s reaction against the not-mayor. Again I think this scene is pretty telling on Macaque's relationship with LBD.

The purple who was the dominant color quickly turns blue to indicate that Macaque is not in control anymore despite this being his domain, his episode. In image 2, the smile Macaque has can fool you if you don't see the lil sweat on his forehead, this is a sign of nervousness. For the first time since we have been introduced to Macaque in LMK, Macaque is nervous. Macaque wasn't nervous against Wukong yet he is right now against the not-mayor, not because of the not-mayor but because of LBD behind him. The fact that Macaque is smiling as a sign of nervousness really hints you already about his coping mechanism. It'll be more relevant and more present in s3 but it is interesting to notice how Macaque works to keep fear at bay (I'll talk more about it in s3). The not-mayor literally strangles Macaque. I think there is no better way than this physical act of violence to show that Macaque is not very willing to go with LBD. The use of colors, blue background/blue not-mayor and purple Macaque, really highlight Macaque's feelings about the situation and how he's very unwilling to go but is not in control anymore, everything around him turned blue. This is an important fact, and of course Macaque not being willing doesn't excuse his actions later in s3, but it does add to Macaque potential for redemption.

So what can we say about this episode? We learned a lot about Macaque's feelings for Wukong and their past relationship, at least what he thought happened. And while Macaque still acts like a villain, he does show potential for being better. Showing this potential is really important for the redemption processus, because without these tiny hints of Macaque hidden goodness, or at least the start of goodness within him, the redemption wouldn't have felt genuine.

Macaque is confusing for MK and for us, but he showed us something there, a spark, as tiny as it is.

He's more nuanced than we thought he was in s1 ep8.

It's a lil step in the grand scheme of things, potential without action is wasted, but the fact that the potential is here is to be noted regardless because it will be important in the redemption processus later on.

Also, I like that in this episode MK has parallels with both Wukong and Macaque. He relates to the warrior (Macaque) and fears that Wukong is leaving him behind, but also MK fights like Wukong and acts a lot like him. It shows how MK is really a merge between the two monkeys, he's not exactly like them, but he has some common traits with both of them, which I think is why he will be greater than the both of them at the end of this. After all, the mentee has to surpass the mentors one day or another.

Like the previous post, this is my interpretation of LMK, you can disagree, no problem!

I'll post Macaque analysis in season 3 in another post.

Previous / Next

[cerebralisis]

It’s still not clear to me if Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me was titled after Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf by Edward Albee, but that is absolutely where my mind went. I wanted to explore the connection, so I read the play over the weekend, and it has some cool parallels.

Parallel 1: The play is full of TTPD buzz words:

“You have a poetic nature.. a Dylan Thomas-y quality that gets me right where I live.”

“I wasn’t the albatross… you didn’t have to take me to get the prize or anything like that.”

“I do not pick flowers in the blink. I have never robbed a hothouse without there is a light from heaven.”

Parallel 2: The movie adaptation stars Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Others have done great analyses of the way Taylor has referenced these two in her work, so I’ll leave that rabbit hole alone and simply say that we know Taylor has read about them (see below) and used them as inspiration - beyond just the one line in Are You Ready For It.

Parallel 3: Most interesting to me, the main themes of the play are about critiquing social conventions and blurring the lines between reality and illusion. The main couple spends the evening telling their guests stories about themselves and sharing information about their lives, but as the night goes on we start to realize that it’s hard to know which of these stories are real and which are made up. We can’t tell what’s fact or fiction, and we eventually learn that they do this because they’re afraid to face their own fears and inadequacies. (I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror). After the play reaches its dramatic climax, Liz Taylor’s character finally resigns herself to let go of all the illusions and falsehoods she’s created and live in the truth, as scary as that is for her.

This line from one of the characters stood out to me: “And the west, encumbered by crippling alliances, and burdened with a morality too rigid to accommodate itself to the swing of events, must… eventually… fall.”

I swear, every single literary reference packed into Taylor’s work is telling us the same story in a million different ways. I think our girl just wants to leave it all behind and be her authentic self.

[leaf-in-a-flower-garden]

What if the elders seeming bigger in their cutscenes than, say, in Orbit, is just the mind of the moth making them look like that. It's commonly theorised that our perception of the Vault is warped because we're looking at the world from the eyes of a young, newly fallen star that doesn't know any better. The moth is making it look magical and starry, but it isn't what actually reflects reality.

So it's possible that the cutscenes show them bigger and scarier and intimidating because that's how the moth sees them. Big, Scary Unknown people, that are, for some reason, familiar and in need of help.

It's a similar case to the use of cinematography that's used in them, Daleth's is middle ground, a lack of comparison of them and the moth, because they are in the same (but not really) predicament (weak and a lack of knowledge of the situation they're in) and therefore equals. Once they got their light back, boom, they're big and intimidating, they Literally Look Down on us, and we Look Up at them.

A parallel to their cutscene is Ayin and Tsadi's cutscenes, seeming big and scary, literally roaring.— "they're strong, aggressive and loud, they could hurt us"— but once we understand they are no threat, that they need light too and that they don't mean us harm, the camera angle suits it, in Tsadi's case, the camera angle evens when we interact.

Teth's camera angles never really change throughout their cutscene, even when they've regained their light. Which makes sense mind you, they never did anything to show they weren't a threat, but never overtly did anything to hurt us. They are not intimidating, but it's uncertain if they're trustworthy.

Lamed is the average size of an adult, because when we meet them, they are sitting, and possibly hurt. We do not perceive them as scary or big or anything because they don't present themself to be (or are capable of).

Sahmekh is a bit of a thing that I'm not bothered to touch on lol, their cutscene speaks for itself imo.

Anyways, that's all, I'm tired and needed to ramble about this lol (have wanted to for a while, I definitely could've worded it better but that's for a later post) anyway ty for reading

[springtrappd]

You said in one post that the author of Solar Lunacy is ableist. Could you explain how they're being problematic? I know almost nothing about them or the story itself, so I wouldn't know if they've said or done anything sus. Also, thank you for actually criticizing the Daycare Attendant stans, almost nobody in this site does that.

thank you for asking! it's rare to see, you're right, but it's also rare that people are willing to actually engage with that critical posting, so -- again, thank you! as for your question: oh boy, can i!

first: the basics. dissociation is a psychological response to overwhelming stress wherein the brain... disassociates from itself, placing a barrier between itself and the harsh reality. the most famous dissociative disorder is dissociative identity disorder (DID), known formerly as multiple personality disorder (MPD) or split personality. did occurs when someone without a fully-formed identity (read: a child) undergoes such severe stress that the 'brain' dissociates from its identity itself, creating alternate identities (personalities) to deal with the things they can't. these alternate identities work together to form a system. it's way more complicated than that and you can read more on it here and here but that's the bare minimum for the ignorant in the audience. we all caught up? good! moving on.

now, the question of whether or not the daycare attendant is a system is a touchy one. i've seen multiple different stances on the matter, seen a lot of arguments, and typed (and deleted) several hundreds of words about it, and the answer that i've come to is that, for the sake of this argument, whether the dca is a system in canon doesn't matter. what matters is how bamsara treats them. how do they handle the characters, how do they frame the switches in personality, the confusion, all the parallels to real-world symptoms -- how do they expect the viewer to feel, what do they pull from the cultural lexicon, yadda yadda. does bamsara -- regardless of their intentions -- depict the dca as a system, and if so, how do they handle it?

the answer is that they depict the dca as experiencing altered identity states, switching (and even blurring) between identities, and even repeatedly acknowledges them as a plural entity.

and it is these behaviours, specifically, that are used to make the dca scary. bamsara's daycare attendant is scary because they experience altered identity states. because they blur identities. because they are a plural entity. because they display the textbook symptoms and behaviours of a disorder most commonly caused by childhood sexual abuse. and it is the fear that this is inspires that makes them (but especially moon & eclipse) sexy.

now, one can argue that this is simply in line with existing horror media, and they would be correct: most pop culture depictions of dissociative disorders are extremely ableist, and have real-world consequences! but what makes it really, really shitty is that... i don't want to think about this stuff. i don't come to fandom to be reminded that people are terrified of what they don't understand, and that that very very often includes the mentally ill. i don't want to be reminded that there are people who don't believe dissociative disorders exist at all. i don't want to reminded that they -- the sick, the survivors, the unlucky 140 million -- are spoken of in the same way as monsters. i don't come here for harsh realities. but solar lunacy is the most kudos'd fnaf fic on ao3, and we all have to live with that.

if you liked solar lunacy or bamsara's content or... whatever, i don't particularly care. i'm not mad about people thinking evil alters are sexy, or engaging with horror content that says shitty things about systems -- it's your life, live it how you please (and i've got a vanny icon so who am i to judge lmao). sometimes the things that make us happy are kinda shitty, and that's okay! our views are shaped by the society we live in, and there is no society on earth that is kind to the mentally ill -- there's no way to undo that, to stop that from influencing you in some capacity. but... all i ask is for you to think about this stuff, and try to educate yourself on the topic. there's nothing wrong with making a mistake, or having flaws -- but there's something wrong with making a space that feels unsafe, that reflects some of the more uncomfortable aspects of our society, that unintentionally hurts people. it's just up to you if that something is something you care about.

i hope that answers your question, anon (and anyone else who's curious). take care, mate!

(edit 13/01/2023: due to some technical difficulties on tumblr's end, the notes aren't quite showing up properly, so here's the link to bamsara's reblog chain if you can't find it.)

[deathcrawling]

Regarding The Sins, I've been having a hard time deciphering which one is which. I know after all, that many others and I, thought Dallon initially would have been Lust. That is, before more information came to light. So I'm just going to be drafting up some of the information I've thought about both in favor and against certain ideas. Perhaps pooling together information will help everyone eliminate and determine suspects. My two strongest contenders of assigning which sins to which is what Maya posted:

They raised a lot of great points while we were talking and making our theories which I will be going into. My second assignments would be this:

Personally, I agree with Gluttony being assigned to Hat and would honestly love it to be that. I really liked how Maya brought up how thin Hat looks, which is a great detail that I can see being in favor of Gluttony. Tangentially, I would love their cool character design of them having a scary mouth to be canon. Haha. Considering lore precedence I feel like there could be details pointing to Hat maybe being assigned Greed. Which would be odd, but possible. After all in the teasers for What Love we were show the book, King of the Golden River. Which is all about how Greed threatens to destroy the river and kindness brings it back.

https://x.com/iDKHOW/status/1707442738982224209

Notably in the teasers and featured in the music video is this black silhouette with a similar hat! I feel like from a lore/ARG standpoint it would be a bit strange to have 2 seemingly vague but significant characters with a shared design feature. However, it could be argued that the silhouette in What Love does look slightly different. Perhaps there are two silly hat guys, haha. And on a personal note, I feel like it would make most sense for Greed to be the guy who literally looks like a bandit or the *silver* mask. Maya also made a great point for the farthest left sin being Envy, considering how they look judgmental, and as we joked, like a hater. They are also the only one with their face fully exposed, which could lend credence to that! After all they are stuck with their true face while everyone else is able to conceal more of themselves. I initially thought that its possible for the person on the very left to be Sloth. Considering how far away they are standing from the rest of the group. It would also be funny character design wise as they have what looks like a cape or cloak billowing. But them being the only one with a facial expression being conveyed lends higher credence in my opinion to them being Envy.

Second most likely to be Envy would, just in my opinion, be Silver Mask. The mask imagery would work well for Envy. Interpreting it as insecurity as we can see nothing of their actual self. A false face; them wanting and having something silver and perfect to represent them. Them becoming that representation to the point that its uncanny and they aren't anywhere closer to having that visage in reality. Regarding the second assignment I'm very unsure where it leaves us for the Bandit looking character. I know lots of parallels are made between greed and gluttony in discussion of the sins in general, and many representations can treat them similarly. Perhaps Bandit is Gluttony but I am unconfident in this. All of this is hard to say! I can see so many interpretations. I feel pretty confident about which is Wrath but for all I know he could be Sloth, Gluttony, etc! There are 25 possible combinations for The Sins. I'm going to be doing more research but this is what I have so far! Let me know what you think.

hello! i am so sorry im getting to this late- especially after the sins have *technically* been confirmed!

the hat figure and the tall black hole looking figure were my 2 biggest mysteries.

with lust being confirmed as the sunglasses lady, dallon representing pride, i figured out basically all of the other sins on my own.

i figured dead white eyes was wrath due to the possible costume inspo from Zorro (movie), as well as the character motivations that are very much similar to the feelings of wrath.

greed, having a silver (or gold?) mask, which is the only physical form of possible money worthiness we see in this whole picture.

then sloth, being the furthest away from the group. not giving any care to others, being "lazy", not wanting attention.

so then i was left with envy and gluttony, at first i thought gluttony was hat person, and envy was the tall, black hole like figure. which is what i posted at first, but then the more i thought about it, the more it made sense for envy to be the hat person. being envious is wanting what someone else has, its a feeling of jealousy in a way. with the hole (face) looking through a veil has that distorts things around them as better, to be envious of.

which then left the tall looming black figure, and gluttony as my final ones. i didnt really have any rhyme or reason behind it, it was the last ones i had left so thats what i left it as. i posted my guesses + art on instagram and dallon left a comment on the idkhow account, which basically confirmed my guesses. so these are what we have for the sins (pictured below).

i hope this response makes sense haha, please let me know if you want any clarification on anything!

[killer-wizard]

my mini fuckin essay apparently. this is about rapid eyes! go watch it here. tw for mental health problems, amnesia, death and loss, suicide mentions, ect. also a long ass post!

this is about the main character of rapid eyes being a system. maybe not canonly but. i see some parallels between my system and the player <3

ahh okay i have an interpretation of this series.

as a system, i see a lot of parallels to a system in this character and game. in a previous episode (#6?) red eyes refers to the player as "they" and while i am all for the player being nonbinary or using they/them, i do personally think it could also be the plural they/them, and our main character is a system.

the way red eyes acts, is very much a persecutor move, being rude or self-destructive in the way a verbally abusive person is. (sometimes introjects of abusers repeat the abuse out of a trauma reaction or other fear) i think red eyes showing up first in the forest where the player grew up, maybe they represent a childhood trauma, like an abusive parent, or maybe an outside person hurting the player. i saw another system say they didn't like the "evil alter" trope, but honestly? i think, if this is a system character, then it's done pretty well, as this character is just self destructive and not harming outside people. sort of like, a representation of how OCD/PTSD can make you spiral and think about it uncontrollably, and how people can beat themselves up about loss like this.

i totally respect if it makes other systems uncomfortable though!! anyway.

radio comes off as very genuinely kind and sweet, only trying to help and reassure the player. sort of like an emotional protector. she reminds me of some of our child alters, she's so silly. i love her. she's silly and lighthearted but clearly is a traumaholder, or at least aware of the trauma.

the game represents an inner world, something many systems develop as a coping mechanism. these can look like anything. the game (and in our case) has many different popular places from various horror games, but also from their real life. the scary "slenderman" woods (which the player says they lived near when they were a child), the backrooms, the school (based off of their old school), the boardwalk, the parking lot (player says they were afraid of them as a child). it's all familiar to our player, and so was put in their inner world as to make sense of the scary reality they were living in. (a little funny, but our headspace has a part of an among us map in it lol)

to add to this, the constant, changing nature of the game is reminiscent of an inner world of a system. ours changes mildly often, and who can or cant access parts of the inner world also changes, which explains radio being unable to contact the player in places red eyes controls (like the backrooms, and this cave).

now, DID (and other dissociative disorders) has amnesia attached to it. the fact that the player seems unable to remember that they made rapid eyes, is very in line with DID (i have a lot of art we've made that i have no memory of making.) but also kind of implies that the game was worked on by the other characters. the boardwalk changes, the parking lot changes, and we can assume that the player didn't do that (it implied they gave on the game entirely).

also, the name. "rapid eyes". it reminds me of looking around quickly out of terror or fear, but i also saw someone mention REM sleep (RAPID EYE movement) also being a meaning, which i think makes much more sense.

now, episode #11. radio breaking because of the fall, representing how kind words don't help when youre in the pits of your mental illness. or at least, not as much as they would if you had heard them in a better state. the nooses, the notes, the ruined lockers, it's all memories and urges, traumatic and otherwise coming together when you're at your worst and trying to stop ruminating on the past.

and the phone call: this teal character (who i'll just call static for now) has called before, when radio was out for a second to take care of something. they clearly have a lot of suicidal ideation and worthlessness related thoughts. i don't really know if static is the player, or another part of them, or what, but we've only just met them, so maybe we'll find out later?

in the phone call, they talk to their grandmother, who says their dad is sick. the player reacts very instantly to this, as if remember the phone call with terror. static plays the concern off, saying he was fine and just taking a nap. the player is audibly crying now, though it's quiet and horrifyingly sad. the acting in this part is insanely good and i love it. anyway,

"i should have called someone" (responded with "yeah, you think?" which is another example of the player constantly using humor to cope) clearly, this character and the player share guilt. over their father's death, presumably. the player begs to be left alone, maybe to red eyes, who is implied to be torturing the player.

a note for this scene is, someone in the comments mentions the "as above, so below" note, and how that is the title of a movie in which a character misses a phone call right before her father commits suicide. it lines up pretty well, and can be assumed to be a reference.

episode #11 is the final episode as of now, and is very interesting. i'll be watching for more! anyway.

disclaimer: this is my opinion, and is probably not canon. pls take what i say with a bit of salt.

OKAY wall of text over. i might be overthinking this and this is the most ive ever talked about having DID online. good lord.

[joodles98]

do u ever think about raileon as being two sides of the same coin? the dragon guarding a castle and the king who loves his subjects yet is trapped in a tower. childhood friends (perchance) turned into friendly rivals and eventually lovers.

do you think they idolized red and blue as kids or teens (depending on how old you think they are bc in my mind reguri are slightly older, maybe like late 20s while raileon are early 20s) and they dont talk about it but you can clearly see the parallels of battle prodigy child who goes on to be champion and rival who ends up becoming the 8th gym leader who prefers double battles plus a researcher (and both r super gay)

yes to all of that a million times ❗️these characters are so intertwined to me.

i have all kinds of scattered thoughts

i think leon would have invited rednblue to galar to get their input/expertise in creating his battle tower (since they have the experience in setting up the battle tree 😋)

blue would love how cutthroat the galar league is/the gym leadership system, also really enjoy the commercial appeal of it/spectacle of the stadiums. red doesnt really care for any of that but he fucking loves gigantamaxing his charizard. he feels his cool meter thru the roof. when he sees gigantamax pikachu for the first time his heart explodes

there is something to say about red and leon confronting its hard(scary) to go back home. but its nice to have someone on your side to remind you of who you are and who you can be.

red especially, who "threw away" the obligations of being champ because the core of his journey was to test the limits of his strength, learn and grow, and battle for the sake of it because its what he loves to do. period. (and ending up becoming a hero just because he saw abuses of power and knew he could stop it, since no one else was.) leon realizes that living and battling really could be simple and fundamental once he's free of the excess of championing lol, and the only real pressure and maintenance of reputation comes from a personal definition within. that's it.

red as a character, to me at least, symbolizes we get to choose what we let go of, what we carry on, and what's new that we'll venture into. nobody's judgement, no matter how big or loud it seems, can "make" us do anything, that is, if we have the courage to decide what defines us and act accordingly

basically. i think red is a character who is the epitome of authenticity (the responsibility we have to our own life and dreams.) he is just doing his thing forever fuck the haters. mad respect. everybody can learn from him

on the other hand, i think leon symbolizes possibility. the way identity is a constant process. like the many lives we have the fortune to live in our one life, if we have the courage and resilience to begin again. (resilience and not stubborn kind that makes you blind to opportunity. im talking like a strong acceptance of reality, unwavering belief that life is meaningful. i think that's what leon's growth arc is about 🤧)

blue and leon could become drinking buddies over the self-reinventing journeys they undertook after losing 🫣. its so fascinating to compare the outcomes of someone who was champ for less than an hour vs. someone who was champ for over 10 years (a whole childhood/teenagedom!). also considering leon just had a whole fucking terrible week before his loss that probably already put his identity on shaky foundation. (the darkest day and losing to eternatus in front of hop. being betrayed by rose. etc).

when i think of older blue and post game leon they are a reminder of at the end of the day its that you gotta make sure the things you do is for You

baseline reguri for me is that blue never actually "hated" red. jealousy and frustration can make a kid who just wants recognition and praise pretty volatile. for raihan, especially when he was younger, he had to be pretty vigilant to not let his jealously of leon taint their friendship/rivaly. it could be a factor in his investment of a personal brand and celebrity through his influencer status(quiet his inner doubt/impostor syndrom/make up for the he perceivs he lacks).

but i also think raihan's interest in history makes him the contextual thinking type to have been skeptical of leon's experience as champion, especially since leon's hard to read. (the way they both have different types of trust issues. lol) it kinda protected his heart from being too hurt of the physical distance leon's championing put in their friendship over the years too, especially since their rivalry continued on into a professional, profitable setting and they both had images to maintain. (whereas red and blue are coworkers also lol, but working side by side.)

i want to talk about raileon slow burn so bad but i have to go to work rn 😭

[mari4anne]

Shifting log #1

Hello everyone, my name is Marianne and I am a shifter for 4 years, I was pretty much inactive for 3 years after my 1st but now I'm back

So I discovered shifting way back in 2020 on tiktok (lmao not rlly new) but switched to youtube, the only one shifter I trusted on youtube was Kristeau, her videos helped me a lot and her Diabolik lovers story time are funny as hell, I really recommend watching her when you're just starting out

This is a playlist of her videos if you wanna check them out <3

I don't use tiktok as my main source of info about shifting but I use

-Amino (website/app)

-Reddit

-Youtube

Back in 2020, I did try shifting, the first few times (no method, just subliminals), it did not work but I did come close when I felt like floating and itching. There were also instances in the 3 years I wasn't actively trying to shift at all that I felt symptoms like while sleeping, I feel like I'm getting pulled into somewhere but due to me being a scaredy cat, also got occasional sleep paralysis, could not move, only my eyes, I tried my hardest to wake up and woke up in my CR. Its no surprise tho, considering you shift everyday in your life

Warning Ahead: Full of Yapping

Example of that is picking a choice, would you rather eat an egg or eat a bird? If you picked the egg, then you are currently in a reality where you did choose the egg but there is a reality that co-exists with that one wherein you picked to eat the bird. It also reminds me of a video in youtube about a theory about the universe spliting in two and making infinite possibilities every time a choice is made. Interestingly, there is also the butterfly effect wherein a small choice, seemingly insignificant can make something big happen in the future, amazing right?

We also have the Schrödinger's cat wherein there was a 50/50 percent chance the cat inside the box was dead or alive & the only way to know is if you open the box, or to put it more simply, the cat is both dead or alive until you open the box, going back to the parallel universe, there are two realities where the cat is dead and the other one is where its alive. And if we based it on quantum immortality/multiverse theory, there must be a version of you who is alive/dead as well

One more thought hehe, the time ratio thingy (Ex: CR = 1 Year & DR = 5 minutes) we have in our scripts when we shift, it also reminds me of the twin paradox wherein if we have twins that were born at the same time & are the same age and I send one twin to space in a speed of 99.9% light, the twin from space ages slower than the one in earth, twin-from-space's clocks ticks 4.5% as fast as the one on earth, so if twin-from-space comes back to earth after 5 years, he has only aged 5 years older but the one-on-earth twin has already aged 110 years older.

Source:

Sorry for the endless yap about these theories but these kind of topics became interesting to me again recently, especially after playing Life is Strange

Last part, I also saw a little post by someone and it got me thinking. There are people who almost/died, some claim they reincarnated/born again, some claim they saw nothing, just quiet and a black void, some also claim to see heaven/hell (scary tbh.) and I kind of kept wondering if they shifted to somewhere where they assumed they'd end up, depending on their beliefs

I wanna know what everyone thinks! I'm open to any corrections & opinions :)

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

yknow. while theres obvs a whole host of deliberate references saltburn pulls from mythology and classic literature, theres a lot of more contemporary, probably unintentional parallels i noticed could be drawn as well! (mainly my own faves bc my favorite hobby is projection)

so, in no particular order:

saw 2004. this ones a bit of a stretch but i mean, cmon. homoerotic bathtub. also the twist villain (ish), themes of vouyerism, playing games with peoples motives, pitting people against each other and exploiting power dynamics+dirty laundry. and the class disparity between the two love interests (yes saw is also a gay romantic tragicomedy to me. sorry)

dark shadows (the movie not the show) oliver is very vampire coded (i need to make a whole separate post abt that tbh) so hes barnabus collins. pamela is the redheaded dr. cotton whose overstayed her welcome. "the eggs are made for you. everything else is on the side"🤝"we dont have horses. we have a chevy". tragic gothic murder-(almost)-suicide romance. ig this makes felix josette, venetia carolyn, and farleigh the spooky little kid who can talk to ghosts,,,,,? eh yea ok its not a 1:1 ratio

hereditary. elspeths scream finding felixs body in the morning. the tendency to just fully suppress trauma until its impossible to ignore at which point it spills out in the most ghastly ridiculous ways. the undercurrent of intergenerational mother-son trauma. the way they both seem to juggle two focuses at once, one focus being interpersonal dynamics, the other being class commentary (or supernatural horror in hereditary, though id argue saltburn succeeds at this where hereditary falls flat) also the twist that its not in fact the family thats scary and culty and weird and ultimately the biggest threat, but an outsider (hated that twist in hereditary, loved it in saltburn)

sucker punch. again the theme of vouyerism! also consent, sexuality, and hypersexuality, getting by on charisma in a losing battle when surrounded by those with systemic power over you (farliegh ily mwuah), the fine line between desire and glorification and dehumanization, and how it forces the audience to do the uncomfortable work of reconciling our desire to take the eroticism presented to us at face value and sexualize the characters and their relationships, with the power imbalances and therefore inherently dubious consent between them (and us, the audience)

a girl walks home alone at night. this ones mainly just the title, but again i just really like the subversion of expectation that oliver is gonna be the one helplessly sucked into this whirlwind of danger, when in reality, hes the threat. and both the cattons and we ourselves as the audience wholly underestimate him due to the implicit biases it forces us to reconsider

the hunger games. more vouyerism, the way it catches the audience in wanting to focus on the romance because its comfortable and what we're used to, rather than actually look beyond the surface and engage with the power imbalances, particularly the classim and racism commentary. also that scene where oliver looks out the cab window and sees saltburn for the first time reminded me a lot of peeta and katniss looking out the train seeing the capitol

euphoria. ik yall noticed the jules and felix parallel w the angel wings, and duh jacob elordi is in both. but can i also pose that they both have themes of coodependancy and love as addiction and favorite persons and not loving someone as a person but simply loving to be loved. and also body glitter and cocaine

[basedkikuenjoyer]

A Tale of Two Hannya: Flowers Without Names

Last time we dabbled in this area we made it clear we were just scratching the surface. I have a lot I want to say about how Kiku & Yamato play off of each other and how it plays into manga’s long history of playing with gender. We’ve already brought up the classic series on the right, Revolutionary Girl Utena, and how Yamato sorta falls into some of the same pitfalls of the iconic princely lady. But I don’t think this discussion is complete without acknowledging another very important landmark shoujo that still casts a long shadow today. The Rose of Versailles, an iconic 70s series starring the dashing Lady Oscar. Raised as a man to inherit her father’s spot in the royal guard and her “Anthy,” fitting for a story told with the backdrop of the French Revolution, is none other than Marie Antoinette.

So here’s our thesis. Famously the intent of Rose wasn’t initially Oscar. Antoinette was supposed to be the protagonist but was upstaged by such a novel heroine for the time. Utena was the deconstruction of what spawned in her wake. Wano’s Hannya duo? A wickedly smart evolution that’s actually quite responsive to contemporary social changes.

Oscar really does seem like she ended up being this accidental icon, but for all the glory and passion her story is so often wound up in how she can never really escape being sucked in to “women’s games.” It’s a solid recipe; she’s remarkable as a guard & soldier but situations force her to deal with things as a woman. Contrast between battle and courtroom intrigue. It’s a very old school type of feminist work. Similar tone if a different structure than Kozue in the slightly earlier Attack No.1 and a lot of our Pinkie Violence heroines. Deep down there’s always that “A woman is still a woman” element. That’s fallen out of fashion as more feminist depictions have become normal, but there’s a certain power in that internal dynamic. 

The appeal was just seeing a female lead doing cool shit. And this parallels a lot of world media from the 60s/70s. Still pretty old fashioned gender expectations but seeing women buck them at all was fresh. Thing is...give it twenty years and new issues crop up. By the 90s we have a generation that grew up on things like Rose of Versailles and analogues to the point this action girl tomboy is just a trope. A trope bordering on cliche. A trope that allowed how we write most women to stagnate. Love interests, mothers, etc. didn’t have to get with the times. Just toss in a girl that does cool guy things and you’re golden! Most copycats lacked the balance that made Rose so iconic.  Enter Utena, so far ahead of the curve. I’ve heard her described as revolutionary even.

The titular Utena is a fairy tale character in the real world. She is a perfect lil Mary Sue, but the more the story matures the more it becomes obvious a fairy tale character lacks the sense to pick up on real issues. That’s Utena’s magic; juxtaposing the uber cool main character with the actual scary forces in the world. Leading to an ending that lets seemingly useless, docile Anthy drive the point home. A character like Utena can inspire strength...but most girls are going to have to learn other tactics. “Utena” is the Japanese word for Calyx, the outer part of a flower bud that protects it. Smash the world’s shell...

Revolutionary for the time, ahead of the curve in so many ways. But its 30 years old now. We’re at a point it isn’t rare to see casual critique of leaning on the action girl tomboy as a crutch. Nothing new under the Sun, we’ve been here before. It’ll swing that way until a new generation thinks Peppermint Patty is subversive again. And that’s the landscape One Piece got to have fun with.

Which brings us to our pair of breakout new faces in Wano. One of the biggest changes to stories that play with gender roles in this day and age is the reality we pay more attention to why some people organically feel that way. Yamato’s still playing this trope straight. Very straight actually. Background is totally on par with Oscar and the way you go about it feels very similar...for the most part. Could say the same about Utena, Yams is someone who kept that spark of nobility equivalent well into adulthood. There is definitely not a “woman is still a woman” angle with Yamato. The bath scene is a great example. No, you just don’t have that modesty. 

Kiku has that element though, in spades. Her story runs on it. What was old fashioned becomes forward thinking now by combining two tropes. Let the girly trans woman have that old theme if it isn’t as relevant anymore for most women. Same logic I’d use to say she makes a great quartermaster template. It’d be an eyeroll to make most female crewmates the one swabbing the deck or doing laundry in establishing shots...not so much if it’s Kiku. Which gives a cool edge, what’s stifling for some is liberating for others. 

That said...looking at the two together I can’t unsee the gentle repudiation of the very extreme end “all that matters at all is what you say your are” mindset. We’re not getting into discourse here, I’m just identifying trends that exist regardless of how you may feel about them. One Piece is far, far, far from the only reflection the pendulum is swinging the other way even within the community. Yamato’s treated more on the same tier as like, Bon & Iva. He does feel a little more like a caricature at points. And I do think part of the way they’re used together is making a statement about their relative journeys. How certain aspects can feel like Yamato gets the best of both worlds and Kiku the worst. Yamato doesn’t have to care because at worst you’ll think he’s silly instead of creepy and for meeting that impossible bar of being the perfect lady as good as anyone in Wano...Kiku’s “prize” is having to juggle two sets of lofty expectations.  

I feel like Oda really knew what he was doing here. Knew teenage battle shonen fans would bend over backwards to make excuses for Yamato and aggressively ignore Kiku. If OP Academy’s pulling the same trick this was clearly the intent. Both play with the expectations of that generic Strong Female Character archetype One Piece has generally avoided. Oda’s great at writing women but seems to feel that action girl tomboy is a crutch too. We’ll probably revisit this one down the line. It’s a deep well and one that’s delicate to talk about. But I wanted to end this tour of my drafts page for the last year with a bang.

[lookingkindofdumb]

All Might and Deku: Of Passing Torches

Pulls out step stool, goes to step up...then remember my coordination is shit so just stand awkwardly in front of it and clears throat:

This is probs just me stating the obvious but one of the things about My Hero Academia that I love is the change in symbols.

The whole series is about passing on the torch of One for All etc, but I specifically mean the way it goes from All Might (tm) to Deku.

All Might is canonically seen as invincible by the masses. People think he can do anything, save everyone. And whether he meant to or not, All Might has cultivated that assumption.

No one needs to worry because "I am here."

It's powerful.

It's even his hero name. All Might.

Compare this to Deku. Deku which the metaphorical meaning translates to, is useless.

Deku literally breaks himself apart standing between a victim and an aggressor.

We see it when he is a kid standing up to bullies and we see it in canon when he stays between Kota and Muscular.

The thing is, each time Midoriya gets pretty beat up. He is not the impenetrable wall that All Might appears to be.

People see All Might and immediately think the day is saved, they don't need to help or assist. But when Deku is on scene he inspires other people to reach out and help.

Kota was terrified, watching Midoriya go up against this impossible foe, and he still tried to help.

People see that Midoriya is trying his hardest, literally breaking himself apart to save them and lend a hand.

...these are two, at times, incredibly similar people (the parallels between Yagi Toshinori and Midoriya Izuku are explored plenty) and the message they give is the same but the interpretations are entirely different.

All Might is this impossible to match or beat symbol. Literally larger than life. Deku is a hero to be who is so very human, you can reach out and touch the cracks in the surface and he is still there.

(In reality, they are both cracking to pieces when they save the day, but only Midoriya lets it show and I love the way this is highlighted.)

I think it is a product of the society around them. All Might had to be this perfect unstoppable beacon because the world was so scary and dangerous. This peaceful interlude that All Might built means that Deku is able to show the cracks in the surface, be a more human face to hero work, he's much more relatable to the general populace.

All Might says he is here, to save the day.

Deku says he is here, to save you.

(Cannot recommend enough reading walk straight through hell with a smile - taizi - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]

This fic is amazing and Taizi really manages to breathe entirely different meanings into the same sentence.)

....

This show has plenty of flaws but OMG so much of it is amazing.

[snakeinlilac]

Dream away

We dream — it is good we are dreaming — It would hurt us — were we awake — But since it is playing — kill us, And we are playing — shriek — ― Emily Dickinson

Why am I so afraid of dreaming further? What are the limitations and where are they leading me?

When dreaming we sometimes tend to dive deep into parallel worlds, trying to see other versions of ourselves that could have been were some things to be possible. Vague? For sure, simply because those things are not real. On top, we don’t see them as such.

Reality hurts and paints us so we want to run away from it. I hear you. It is scary. I have to break it though. Being lost in real, present life doesn’t guarantee not getting lost in dreams.

A practical cunning way which has worked for me so far is to make dreams somewhat close to goals. Gather information, relax, assess the resources and reflect back on your wishes, then organise it and simplify where necessary.

Info is a key to success but it is time-dependent in a way that you have some knowledge as you start and then expanding it leads to development. Much like everything else: skills, motivation and relationships all grow similarly – through time passing.

Relax. Slowly breathe in. One-Two-Three-Pause on top. Breathe out. One-Two-Three-Pause at the end. Repeat the cycle :) Sport, yoga, friends, love, cooking, reading and so on as long as you’re smiling calmly.

Resources need to be managed. Get your shit together and look back to understand what you can use; cut the bullshit out and move on. Example: ‘I can go out with a cute one or continue with the one that appreciates me and makes no drama.’ – OK, the cute face fades away quickly, true values last in my ideal world, so the choice is clear. Here it is all about priorities.

Simplifying keeps you focused. Don’t lose attention over noise. Listen. With the constant stream of dogshit we get daily it is one of the most tricky skills to master.

Limitations. Let’s talk circumstances. It leaves us some space to move around, work our way through it, or walk away in other words change.

I told you how the snake dreams. How do you?

📷 Nikon F2, me @ Montevideo, Uruguay 2023

[anadrenalineslut]

Okay I'm ready to talk about it a little but the fact that she chose to write eyes open for the hunger games when it is so very clearly about her own experience with fame makes me think a lot of thoughts but mostly how she's painted 2016 as a war, a battle, a fight, etc etc in her work in particular with long story short. I fully believe long story short is a sequel to eyes open because it's honestly kind of scary how perfectly the themes of everlark as a relationship line up with the themes of swiftwyn as a relationship.

Okay, if you consider fame as a type of hunger games (a capitalistic system meant to exploit the labor and lives of literal children, taylor a literal child star need I say more) then it honestly makes perfect sense why she would decide to place special attention on these two songs because she could have easily switched babe/better man with eyes open/safe & sound (or any of the red vault tracks) but she chose these two hunger games songs to highlight and place in an obvious Easter Egg. She wants us to draw parallels between the hunger games and her life because she wants us to talk about how exploitative the entertainment industry is to children, but I think it's very interesting the order in which she released them (eyes open, safe and sound, then if this was a movie, then all of the girls you loved before) and I think that's a statement on how much better it got for her once she left the industry, because she loved reputation era so much and it's very evident.

She learned how to put up boundaries but most importantly, she learned how to believe in her own reality again. The most important theme in mockingjay is awareness, being aware of your own reality, being aware of what is real or not real, and being able to live in peace with someone you trust wholeheartedly to be able to help you make that very important distinction because it is the very fundamental basis of our sanity, the ability to prove to ourselves that we exist and not only do we exist, but our happiness and our emotions matter. They deserve to take up actual space in reality, and we deserve to make a space in our reality where we can live in peace and solitude- no matter what we've done or who we had to become in order to survive. No matter what lies we told or who we hurt in our quest for peace, we deserve to get that peace at the end of the day because we exist and we are real and we matter.

Children matter, our lives, our trauma, the things we experience matter and Taylor probably really enjoyed the hunger games because it made her feelings of depersonalization feel validated, because she probably really relates to katniss, the girl on fire, and how she's seen as the crown jewel but she doesn't feel like a jewel. She feels like a pawn, she feels used and dirty all the time and she doesn't know why (you don't feel pretty, you just feel used... fuck) and so that's probably why she decided to write those songs for the soundtrack to begin with, and the fact that they're so haunting and heartbreaking to listen to really showcases how not okay she was during red era but how good she was at hiding it.

And then the best part of the hunger games was always everlark, peeta was a man who loved katniss beyond all else and who spent his entire life making sure she stayed grounded to reality, making sure she had someone besides her to work through her trauma of being in the hunger games and who tried every day to make her existence as peaceful as possible. They were different in just the right amounts, the way joe comes off quiet, private and reserved and taylor is the social butterfly fits perfectly with how she probably feels like Joe is her peeta, like he's the only person in the world who is able to truly see the real taylor- who knows who she really is, even when the trauma of the fame/the lies of the industry are telling her otherwise, he's there to make her feel safe and loved and protected from the fire outside her window.

And long story short is literally the mockingjay epilogue, where Taylor says hey look bad shit happened, I was traumatized but I was able to find a rare comet in the sky while I was being exploited by the media so it worked out in the end but the trauma is real and it will never go away, I have to live with this forever so do you think it was worth putting me through all of that which is exactly what Suzanne Collins wants us to ask about the capitalistic society we live in today... okay, we have our phones and our electricity and our clothes but is it worth the lifelong trauma we inflict on real children every fucking day?

[sproutedlavender]

does reality really exist? fun theories to make you rethink your existence

If you really think about it, no one actually knows what reality is. There are hundreds, if not thousands of theories out there, each having their own unique explanation on the concept of reality.

You might say, well, reality is something I can touch, taste, smell, hear and see. That makes it real. But that's not necessarily true, is it? Our thoughts can't be experienced with our five senses and yet no one denies that they're real.

let's start with the Law of Attraction. If you haven't heard of it, the law of attraction basically states that what you think and the energy you put out, you attract. This means the more you focus on something, the more you bring it into your life. If you are constantly in a state of negativity, you might notice that you're often attracting negative situations, people or things, while on the other hand, if you're often in a positive state, you attract positivity.

So, the law of attraction states that we create our own reality with our minds. Okay, so that mean we are these all powerful beings, correct? We are powerful energetic beings that are able to create anything we can dream of. If you can imagine something, it exists somewhere out there.

The idea of the law of attraction really makes you wonder about reality. It's like sand, moldable, changing in every instant. We are constantly creating and choosing. So does that mean reality isn't as solid and unmovable as we thought?

If you've studied the law of attraction, chances are you've heard something about Parallel Realities, or the Multiverse.

This entertains the idea that there are an infinite amount of realities, some very similar to our current reality, while others are vastly different. This is the idea that very different versions of ourselves exist somewhere on some plane of existence.

For example, let's say you once faced the choice of getting a cat or a dog and you decided to get a dog. Well guess what? In another reality, you got a cat instead.

So, if parallel realities really exist, that would mean that rather than creating your reality, as the law of attraction states, you are actually moving through realities, choosing the one you want. You can't create a reality because everything you can think of already exists somewhere.

This goes into the concept of Reality Shifting.

You may have heard of this through tiktok or other social media platforms. It's the idea that you can shift into any reality you can dream of. This can be a reality you 'made up' (Though anything you think of exists somewhere so you can't really make up anything) or something like harry potter or star wars.

I believe this goes hand in hand with parallel realities. Somewhere out there, Hogwarts, star wars, lord of the rings, anime shows, they are all a reality on a different plane of existence.

The idea is that through meditation and connecting with the universe and your spirit, you are able to move your consciousness throughout these realities and experience a completely different life.

This might sound crazy at first, but we are always shifting, whether you realize it or not. It's just more often than not, we are constantly shifting to similar realities so we can't tell the difference.

Sounds pretty cool, doesn't it?

Now, there's one other theory that caught my attention. Does anyone outside of you exist? Think about it for a moment. You know you exist because you are experience reality. You feel and think and move through reality so therefore, you are real. Now, I could say the same thing. I could tell you that I experience the world just like you do, but you don't really know if I'm telling the truth or not. There's no proof. For all you know, I could be a mindless robot.

No matter how insane it sounds, the fact is that we can never know for sure if anyone outside of us is conscious because we can only experience our own consciousness.

It sort of scary to think about, but also thrilling. This type of thinking applies to all things. No matter how crazy something sounds, you can never truly disprove it, meaning there's a chance, no matter how slim, that there is something bigger going on and your world isn't all that you think it is.

These are just a few of the wide array of theories which try and explain the concept of reality. If you're reading this post, chances are you've wondered the question, "what is reality" at one point or another, I definitely have.

I'm not sure if there's anyone in the world who truly knows the answer, and I'm not sure if I'll ever figure it out myself, but it's fun to try. More importantly, it really makes you rethink everything about yourself and your life.

There's something so much bigger out there, we just haven't found it yet.

If you've enjoyed this post, try checking out my official blog, Sprouted Lavender.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

That’s a good idea….will start check marking….. I’m also realizing I think part of the problem was I actually do press send sometimes but if the connection is spotty and I don’t realize I close out tumblr and then it never ends up fully loading/sending properly….

SHSHS I cant imagine that’d be comfortable with the dizziness…well uh..at least it’s over now!! Haha…..

OUUU wait that’s a good take…..it’s kinda funny I think I remember Isagi and Yuta having the same mbti too?? Not sure how accurate the typing actually is but I thought that was funny LOL but IM CRYING LMAOOOO you really said I need some spice in my life let’s switch it up

Honestly I would not be surprised if that ended up being the case like….after every single time we’ve manifested something into existence I’d be more surprised if it didn’t get manifested into reality LMAO

SHEGSHS every now and then I think about how I’m blowing up your inbox but omg another special tag I’m so honored LOL hope the ideas prove useful for when you’re in a slump!!

AHAHAHA atp trying to guess your final wc should just be a game im sure its at least mildly frustrating for you but I can’t lie every time it happens I chuckle a bit especially when you post it with that one ant meme LMFAOOA

Oh em gee very excited!! Whenever that comes out im gonna reread part 1 to refresh first LOL it’s ok we gotta give our man a break from being protag he’s been going through it LMAOAO between getting insulted by the love of his life in fwtkac the whole freaky Friday conflict and now bfb where he’s been pining since he could walk I

Gotta bless the other sectors of the fandom with your work….give them a taste of your writing then they’ll discover your blog read the Karasu fics and join Karasu nation…that’s the end goal LMAO atp you’re just overseeing all of bllknation covering every base

Hsjshsj glad it went well!! Struggle because of motion sickness I assume? Manifesting very hard that that goes away soon…

GAGAMARU AND YUKI LMAOOO ok that’s a pair I was not expecting ngl it’s ok it’s the power duo one blind one and one with super vision /j actually I feel like that’d be really funny like…since yuki is also a model he has such a refined vibe and as we know is very well mannered while gagamaru spends a lot of the time in the woods in the wilderness fighting bears or something LOL such opposite vibes

Yeah…like I get the shock factor thing but tbh to me that still doesn’t “justify it” to me LOL like it was just so sudden?? And there’s still so many holes like how’d she suddenly just appear good as new minus the one eye…no I fully agree like it was so random, not lead up not even a hint from the past what like 30 chapters?? Like they really just decided to throw her back into the ring at the last second….like we haven’t seen her since Shibuya arc and she somehow just spawned back like make it make sense…..tbh I think the “shock my readers” thing is such a gege thing to do :,) considering all the other comments we’ve heard from him LMAO but yeah the execution was not it……jjk fandom is also scary I see people getting eaten alive for “hot takes”

LMAO safe from kaiserism today…tbh I can’t see myself actually converting BUT the compass >>> the whole animal shelter dog scene was Lowk so cute I love the use of the dog’s own background in paralleling kaiser’s own situation! But that line “she’s my mother but I’m not her son” LITERARY GENIUS but also I’m crying when they talk about marriage and a wedding I’m fr just imagining ness just standing there alone on kaisers side something about the scene just seems so funny to me

- Karasu anon

tumblr is so glitchy sometimes i can’t even blame you 😔 the amount of times i’ve thought i posted something and didn’t or someone will send an ask and i just won’t get a notification for it??? same with dms and then people think i’m ignoring them but that’s not my intention at all 😭💔

yess they do have the same mbti!! and so does hiori apparently 🤔 tbh i tend to like characters who are sassier because they’re more like me so they’re easier to write/connect with (asshole karasu 🤝 asshole mira) but realistically in a relationship you can only rlly have one person like that the other needs to be nice or else it’s just stressful 😭 irl whenever i meet people who match my freak toooo well i get annoyed because like why are we only being mean to each other but when people start to get too moral abt it it’s like “oh it was never that deep” LMAOAAO there needs to be a happy medium of someone who finds it funny and can throw a jab or two out there when necessary but for the most part they’re just chilling 😩 which lowkey IS isagi (and hiori) now that i think abt it but NOOOO if i convert to isagism what will become of me

HFJDJSSJ okay random kiyora headcanons speedrun (kaneshiro if you’re watching these are fire pls include them in the manga): he ran cross country for one year during the soccer off season and he liked it because he could listen to music during races but it wasn’t competitive enough for him so he quit, he’s lowkey fire at either knitting or crochet but no one knows (he’s not shy abt it though it’s just that no one talks to him for long enough to realize), and he got a pet umbrella cockatoo after watching the movie rio in theaters

NO I LOVE GETTING THE NOTIFICATION YOU SENT AN ASK it’s so fun to read them 🥹 and PLSS honestly it’s less frustrating and more just like 😨 whenever the word count gets crazy long because for the most part i’m just happy to be providing 😩 the only thing that worries me is when i take too long writing smth rlly long and people think i’m on hiatus 😭 like no i’m still here it’s just that this one shot is now novel length so…

okay wait genuinely multiple people have been converted to karasu nation because of me LMAOAOA especially bfb and fwtkac…honestly it’s a role i’m proud to play 🤩🙏🏻 but yes atm i need to expand my outreach/not make karasu suffer any longer he’s been through it in the miraverse as of late 😟 i’m excited for cherry tree pt2 i think it’s probably going to be shorter but very cute 🥹 which yk cute and rin don’t necessarily go together very naturally given how he is but trust i will make it work 🤩

HEAR ME OUT GAGAMARU AND YUKI / TARZAN AND JANE AU LMAOOOOO no it’s so perfect hold on i’m going to edit a screen cap of it once i’ve responded to this why does it fit uncannily well…i’ve convinced myself gagamaru and yuki besties number one bllk duo forget bachisagi or kunigiri or nagireo or tabieita or whatever 🥱 gagayuki the ONLY pair i care about (and karasu + shidou they’re cool too)

i completely agree although i’ve already seen people on all corners of the internet calling people who are dissatisfied with it brain dead or without reading comprehension/media literacy…that’s just how it’s going to be ig 😓 jjk to me has this problem where it’s simultaneously overhated AND overrated 🤔 because people do not realize there is a middle ground!! like no it’s not the worst manga ever and there are several high points + on the whole it is better written than several other animangas especially shounen ones however it is NOT peak fiction and it is definitely not the best thing to come out in recent times!! like people don’t realize you can criticize it and still not bash it/gege completely 😒 also i have to say it…a manga being popular ≠ good idk WHY that’s such a popular argument but things can be popular without being well written!! look at any number of ya dystopian novels from the 2010s for proof 😭 nobody’s denying that jjk is popular it’s just that that doesn’t automatically make it the best thing ever…i saw someone on tik tok say that a lot of jjk fans confuse hype moments/panels with good writing and i do think that that’s the case at times 🫣 but what do i know lol

tbh smth abt kaiser’s fuck ass haircut turns me off rlly bad like maybe if he still had the shaggy blond going on or if he put it in a bun more often i’d see the appeal but the rat tails are not it 😰 and LMAOAOAO PLSSS kaiser’s side at the wedding is just ness and noel noa (he was paid to be there) and both of them are just like 😐😐 the whole time HAHAHA they are not into it at all…maybe kaiser was onto smth when he said that they should just get married without any guests because imagine how awk it would be otherwise 😭