#and she has a hard time coming to terms about what she's compromised on and realizing that it wasnt what she wanted

[bridgyrose]

For ace prompts: After having Yang Raven realizes she's a sex-repulsed Ace... and she doesn't know how to reconcile that with her long-term relationship with Tai and the obviously sex-related result (Yang), and that's her REAL reason for running off.

(This one is just a tad bit late...)

Raven panted as she leaned against a wooden wall of the shack in the woods, her arms shook as she tried to catch her breath. She loved Tai, she knew that without a shadow of a doubt. And she knew she loved Summer. But this? This was just a little too far even for her. Though, it wasnt like she had regretted the child she bore, infact, it was the opposite. She loved Yang just as much as she loved Tai, but after carrying her for nine months and finally having her, it was finally something she couldnt take anymore. 

“Raven!” Summer called out. “Raven! Where are you?!” 

Raven felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up as she made her way deeper into the dark shack to keep hidden in the shadows. Her fingers gripped the doorframe tightly as she peeked around the corner only to find Summer standing there. “I’m… I’m not going back.” 

“Taiyang has been looking everywhere for you-” 

“I’m not the person he fell in love with!” Raven’s voice cracked as she yelled at Summer, her body practically locking up at her anger. “I… I wasnt…. I’m not… He wants someone who can love him the way he wants to be loved, to allow him to show them that he loves them, but I… I cant… not again. And I know he’ll want to do it again.” 

Summer sighed and put a gentle hand on Raven’s. “Rae, take a deep breath and try to calm yourself a bit, let your words try to come through.” 

Raven nodded and took a couple breaths to calm herself, her heart still pounding as fear ran through her mind. “I… I dont… I mean, I love Tai, I just… I dont want another kid… I never wanted to have sex, I just… I dont know, I thought that it was something I had to do with him and now I realize that it just wasnt something I liked or wanted and everytime I look at Yang all I can think is… you know…” 

“That you did something you werent completely into?” 

Raven nodded and sighed. “I want to be there for them, I really do, but I cant… be who Taiyang wants me to be.” 

“Then dont.” 

Raven looked away and sighed. “Its not that easy, Summer.” 

“Of course it is. All you have to do is get yourself back over there-” 

“And I cant just go back after this!” Raven yelled, her eyes starting to burn as the wind around her picked up. “If I go back, all I’ll have are the reminders that Tai and I slept together, that I gave in to him asking me over and over because I thought I had to! I didnt want any of this!” 

Summer sighed and turned her back to Raven. “Then… where are you going to go?” 

“I dont know… I really dont.” Raven gently grabbed the sword at her side and took a breath as her grip tightened around the handle. “I… need to go. Figure myself out, get away from all of… this.” She motioned with her free hand and slowly unsheathed her sword. “I’ll be back. Maybe. After… after I figure out what I really want.” 

“Will you at least visit Yang?” 

The only answer Raven gave was a slice in the air and the ominous howling of the portal that opened in front of her. She took a step closer and sighed. “Keep them safe for me, Sum.” 

Summer shook her head as the portal closed and the wind started to die down. She looked up to the sky and let out a heavy sigh. “Stay safe yourself, Rae. You cant keep running away like this.” 

[joonsytip]

Only for Love || Mingyu - Epilogue

Pairings: Mingyu x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Husband!Mingyu, Cold Wife!Reader, Arranged Marriage au, Contract Marriage au, Divorce au

Synopsis: When an accidental discovery has your perception of happy married life crumbling down, you do what you think is the best for everyone involved. Naturally, your opinion of the best doesn't cater to your husband's. So what happens when things spiral out due to unforeseen events?

Warnings: divorce, reader is pregnant and having it hard, emotional baggage, tears and profanities, mentions of throwing up, morning sickness, lot of banter.

Word Count: 7.8k

[ Svt Masterlist ] [ Svt Flick - Fic Masterlist ]

Teaser | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue

Mingyu didn't get a wink of sleep, neither did you. It's something given.

What's not given for him is the way you're waiting for him with the luggage by the door.

"No...", Mingyu says to himself, as he eyes the bags and then takes a look at your face. He then scurries off to the guestroom only to find all your belongings gone. He goes to the bedroom and same, the house has no traces of you left.

And once you leave, no one would be able to tell if you were ever here, not even Mingyu himself.

He comes back, devasted.

"Please, don't leave.", he pleads, his voice coming out in cracks, "Not when I have so many things to tell you, so much to confess."

You bite your tongue and while trying to maintain the poker facade, you say, "I'll sum it up for you. Our marriage is based on a contract between you and my uncle. And even after over 2 years of the marriage, you find it difficult to be with me because I'm..", you suck in a deep breath, "not Sora. I'm not like her."

Mingyu looks at you with tears in his eyes, wanting to retort everything you're saying but he knows nothing he says would make you believe him. After all, trust has been compromised.

"And I'll never be her, Mingyu.", you say, your voice giving out the dejection, "So I'm freeing you from this marriage. We'll get divorced. You can be with whoever you want. And I will lead my life as how it was supposed to be."

"How was your life supposed to be?", Mingyu asks, his heart thumping as he close the gap between you two.

"Alone.", you answer him, unwavering.

"God, no", he holds you gently, "You belong with me, Y/N. I known I have been dishonest with you when you had clearly warned me beforehand. And I know I've hurt you so much over the span of our marriage but please believe me when I say that I'd not do it with anyone else, it'll be always you."

His gaze tears the shield that you have guarded yourself with, your grip on the trolley loosens for a moment.

And before you give in, you brace yourself.

"We're done talking, Mingyu. I'll have my lawyer set a date with you and yours.", you say removing his hands, "As I said, you can have everything you want--"

"But all I want is you, Y/N."

Your heart beats erratically in your chest. Your senses start to behave abnormally and your mind almost discards the rationalities. But you know you couldn't afford all these, that for him to be well, you'd have to let go.

"Except me, anything you want.", you say in a strained voice, your hands itching to wipe those tears from his face, "I know you're ambitious so that's why I don't think our divorce would weigh much on you. If you respect and value the time we spent together, for the sake of those, divorce me. I beg you, I want nothing else."

And Mingyu stands exactly where you have left him. It's a been a week and he's miserable.

His parents are not in talking terms with him, the moment they knew about the contract which is leading to the divorce.

And Minhee, she's has been taking the worst hit. And now, she understands if you never want to see her again after what her brother has done. But doesn't mean, it'd hurt less.

Unlike her brother, she was not popular with people. Majority approached her just get a whimp of her brother and that's why she had trust issues, leading her to be cautious of people. She does have genuine friends she's close with but you, you are different.

Minhee admires you, proudly calls you her family and loves you because she has noticed it all. How you have accommodated yourself and been a part of the family. Not big with words but bigger with actions. And maybe Mingyu can be dumb but the entire family knows that you love him, it's so painfully obvious.

"Hey", a soft voice breaks her reverie. She turns to look and finds Soonyoung.

"I don't want to see you.", she tells him, "So leave."

Soonyoung sighs, "But you're upset and I can't see you like this--"

"Why do you care suddenly?", she glares at him, "Look, I don't like you anymore okay? I can't believe you all knew about that contract but didn't stop him. What kind of friends are you?"

Soonyoung just sits, head down and listens to her reparimend him. At least, he gets to see her.

"What do you want?", you ask, checking your watch. There's an unfamiliarity in your tone.

"Can you please reconsider and withdraw the petition?", Jeonghan asks politely.

"No.", you flatly deny.

He runs his hand through his hair in frustration, which is rare.

"Mingyu is not doing well, Y/N. He has shut out everyone.", he says, "That day, Sora took Mingyu with her to visit me because she thought I'd not meet her if she comes. And it was totally work, nothing else Y/N. Mingyu doesn't have feelings for Sora, he likes--"

You raise your palm up and Jeonghan shuts up. There's nothing much to say, not anymore. So you just give him an ultimatum before leaving.

The day comes fast and hits harder. Mingyu sits frozen with the pen in his hands, his vision dazed, mind blank. It's happening and it's a matter of time then you'd be denounced as husband and wife.

As you sit in front of him, you can't help but notice Mingyu's state. You can tell he's been having it hard, he looks lost. He hasn't spoken except when urged since he arrived, he seems like an entirely different person.

Mingyu can't bring himself to sign the papers. He can't bear to look at you. And since the universe have decided to bite him back with karma, he does it.

A single drop of tear wets the paper, just below the line where he signs his name.

The formalities are done and it's official. Though there's a cool off period both sides know that it's of no use.

Your lawyer leads the way out, solemnly announcing the outcome of the meeting.

"Y/N", Mingyu calls and you dismiss your lawyer waiting for him to catch up.

There's a devastatingly sad smile on his tear stained face and your breaks at the sight of him.

"So it's ends here.", Mingyu says trying to hide the quiver in his voice, "I'm sorry for everything, Y/N. I have been a failure and I can't do anything to fix it. But I wish you healing and a peaceful life ahead."

He quickly wipes the tears and continues hesitantly, "If ever my name comes to your mind, please contact me. I'd come if you want help in something minimal, I'd listen if you wanna curse me out. Be it anything, all you have to do is drop a text or call me and I'll come to you. We can't be friends but I'd like to just pretend."

You don't think you can hold your tears anymore so you let them fall. Mingyu is surprised and his hands almost touches your face in worry but he remembers that it's not his place anymore.

"Live well, Mingyu.", you tell him, "Take care of mom, dad--", rectifying it quickly, you continue, "aunt, uncle and Minhee. We all mistakes, make sure to learn from them and treat others rightfully."

Mingyu understands the weight behind your words. Times seems to have frozen as none of you make a move.

You take the initiative to break the reverie. Because even if Mingyu thinks it's the end but you know you'd have to see him again.

"The sunset is beautiful, isn't it?", you smile through your tears, looking up at the sky then back at him.

And just as you predicted, Mingyu doesn't get the meaning of your words because he's distracted and you're relieved.

Your apartment still feels foreign. It shouldn't be as you've lived here for most of your life and now you are sitting alone, lost in the thoughts.

Whenever there is too much on your plate, you'd call your uncle. Just listening to his voice soothes you so you quickly fish out your phone. But just as your thumb hovers over the call button, tears stream down because you remember that you won't be able to hear his voice ever again.

You've started showing a little since the second trimester has started and you are thinking of ways to tell Mingyu, scared at wits remembering how everything went down everytime you've tried to let him know.

But you know you've to let Mingyu know about the baby and it has to be soon.

Stress is eating at you and nausea has become your best friend. Morning sickness loves you and you can barely eat any food without throwing out. Minghao has been attentive, trying his best to help you out but there's a limit to he can do.

You are not feeling particularly well today while you're at work. For some reason your chest feels like vacuuming out, your head spins a little.

You have been doing great at hiding the uneasiness until you're addressing the people about some requirements in the character design involving all the teams and your legs gives up. Your vision spars and suddenly your eyes shut, causing you to loose consciousness.

Minghao lurches forward, catching you in time saving you from the impact of fall. He doesn't waste any time picking you up and rushing to the hospital, himself being drained out in fear.

Soonyoung immediately follows and while he drives behind, he makes a bunch of calls.

The lights from the ceiling are blinding enough to cause irritation even if your eyes are closed. There are murmurs at the backdrop but they're low not quite reaching your ears. Your left hand feels heavy, you think there's a weight on your stomach.

You squeeze at whatever was enclosing your hand and a very familiar voice calls out your name. But you can't figure out who it is. There are repeatative calls but your eyes are so heavy that you're finding it difficult to open them.

You feel a touch on your cheek, a soothing rubbing of thumb on it and you're able to open your eyes finally.

And you came across his face. Eyes red, lashes wet and hurt etched on features. His eyes are fixated on your face.

"Mingyu", you say grabbing his hand, "Where am I?"

Mingyu sighs in relief and kisses your forehead, his lips lingering on your skin as he speaks, "You're in the hospital. How are you feeling?"

"What happened to me? Why am I feeling so tired and sleepy?", you ask, as you hold his face, rubbing your thumb against his cheek gently, "Take me home and hold me to sleep please."

Mingyu worries at your state but he knows that it's an after effect of concussion and you'll be back to normal after some time.

"Is the baby fine?", you ask with a quiver in your voice.

Mingyu's eyes water with tears again at the mention and he backs away for a moment wiping those. He takes deep breathes and returns by your side.

Gently, caressing your bump he answers, "The baby is fine."

"Don't tell uncle that I'm here, he'd be worried.", you say and his heart breaks.

He nods at you wordlessly, choking back his sobs.

There's a smile on your face, "I can't keep my eyes open."

"Rest well.", he says, stroking your head, "I'll be here when you wake up."

"How's she?", Minhee asks as soon as Mingyu steps out of the room.

"She just woke up.", he informs, "She's suffering from concussion. She was asking for her uncle."

Mingyu's steps stumble as he seats on a chair. When he received the call from Soonyoung, he rushed to the hospital only to see you lying unconscious on the hospital bed.

And on asking the doctor, the first thing he discovers is that you're four months along in pregnancy. As the timeline aligns, it kills him to belatedly know that you dealt with your uncle's death, the divorce all by yourself being pregnant.

"Why didn't she tell me?", Mingyu ponders out loud, tugging on his hair forcefully.

"Maybe she was waiting--", Junhui is cut off.

"She had tried to tell you three times in exact.", Minghao pitches in, his voice stern and accusatory, "The first time, at the office event but you decided that going somewhere with ex-girlfriend was more important."

"You should tone it down. It's not what you're thinking.", Jeonghan chimes in his friend's defence.

"Oh I'm not talking to you.", Minghao glares at him, "And I know what is what and not."

His gaze directs back at Mingyu, "The second time was when she returned home only to find you bitching about her to these guys over here.", he gestures at group standing scattered in the area, "She was nervous about how to crack the news to you, that was the only reason she returned."

Mingyu sits frozen in place as Minghao hammers the nail on his heart one by one.

The final blow punctuates brutal and hard, when Minghao says, "The third time was", he pauses for a moment before continuing, "The day uncle died. If you remember, she had asked you come home earlier, it was because she wanted to tell about the pregnancy."

"She must have been so scared. It must have been so hard for her.", Minhee whispers, choking on tears, "We have been so ignorant. We don't deserve her."

Soonyoung runs to her side but Minhee steps away from him, drawing a line.

Minghao nods solemnly, "Even after that she tried but her mind succumbed to the thought that something bad would happen again if she reveals about the pregnancy. She is indeed scared."

Hansol walks up to him and pleads, "Tell us if there's anything we could do. I don't care, be it anything, please."

Minghao scoffs, "You should have done something when your friend was going to marry her because of a contract which she wasn't even aware about.", he jabs his finger at his chest, "you should have knocked senses into your stupid friend when he chose his ex-girlfriend.", another jab, "you should have fought back when he was bitching about his own wife."

He sweeps his sharp gaze across the faces, "You could have done a lot of significant things but you chose not to and now there's nothing left to salvage."

"You're right.", Seokmin resorts to resignation, "We, as a bunch are awful. All of us."

Minghao is all riled up with pent up frustration of months bouncing off, he walks over to Mingyu grabbing his collar and pulling him up on his feet. When others try to pull them apart, Mingyu shakes his head, a sign asking them not to interfere. His head bowed down throughout.

His voice drips with venom when Minghao says, "How could you say that she didn't change? How could you not know how bad her morning sickness is? Why did she have to deal with everything and suffer alone while you lived with her?"

Minghao has so much to say, so much to let Mingyu know but he cannot. He doesn't have the right to do so.

He grabs the collar tighter, with much force, enough to draw lines of abrasion on the later's neck, "Don't think she's alone. She has me, she'll always have me. And you must have heard the rumours going around since you have a spy at our office.", he says looking at Soonyoung and back at him, "I'll tell you the truth. I love Y/N."

All pair of eyes widen at the declaration, even Mingyu's. Minghao's eyes are teary as he speaks his heart out, "I will always love her. Even if she never reciprocates, my feelings for her won't change."

Mingyu's parents who have been listening to the conversation, without announcing their presence decide not to interfere.

Later when you woke up, you didn't let anyone else meet you apart from Minghao who also completes the formalities for your discharge.

But when Mingyu almost barges in, you tell him to visit your apartment the next day if wants to talk. He simply obliges.

"I have tried to tell you about the pregnancy--"

Mingyu shakes his head, he doesn't meet your gaze, "I know now and that's what matters."

You scrutinize and everything about him screams that he is not doing well. Physically evident, mentally also as his body language gives it out.

"This wasn't planned and I'm keeping it so if you don't want to be a part of it, this will be the last time we're meeting--"

You don't get to finish the sentence as Mingyu lunges forward and kneels at your feet.

"I was a bad husband and I understand if you don't have any trust left in me. But we made it, Y/N. Of course I'll be there through the rest of the pregnancy and after that. We'll raise the baby, our baby.", he tries to convey his sincerity through his words, "I failed to be a good husband but I promise I'll try to be a good father."

"I'm sorry, you had to find out this way.", you say, your hands finding its way to wipe the tears that stained his cheeks.

You have been awfully swayed, your emotions are a mess and you can't mask your real emotions anymore. Pregnancy hormones are being tough on you and what you're scared the most about is letting yourself loose in Mingyu's presence. Something you cannot afford.

Mingyu is also quick to catch the changes in your demeanor. He knows you're being vulnerable and you'll be trying your best to conceal it but he makes a promise to himself that he'll protect you, take care of you. Even if you push him away, he won't scurry away this time.

Another episode of Mingyu's crying happens when you show him the sonograms from all the previous checkups and he carefully pockets the copies you give him, promising to accompany you for the checkups, memorizing the dates by heart from your calendar.

"What have you been eating?", he asks, padding into the kitchen. You follow him.

Concern grasps at him on hearing that you cook for yourself now and Minghao sometimes bring in his cooked food but you throw up more than you can eat. You tell him that you've been having trouble sleeping which caused the fatigue.

"I'll cook for you from now on.", he says determined.

"I appreciate it but you don't have to do it. It'll be a hassle--"

Mingyu dismisses you as he scans through the kitchen and makes the notes of the groceries that needed restocking, "My hassle, I'll handle it. Anyway, I used to cook for us."

"That's what.", you interject, "You used to. We're divorced now."

Mingyu freezes at the mention of divorce but quickly regains his composure, "I'm doing this for our baby. You can't tell me otherwise, I'm sorry but expect to see me a lot more from now on. And though I know it would make no sense to you but you can rely me."

You don't respond to that rather making a lame excuse, walking back to the bedroom.

Since then, it's been a rollercoaster ride for the both of you.

Whenever you try to draw a line, Mingyu erases it before it could even take a prominent shape.

"No, you don't have to drive me to work everyday.", you say sternly, "I can drive and if not Minghao can take me with him. He does that sometimes."

It's wrong of him to get jealous but when has the heart ever sided with him, "Minghao lives in the opposite direction, Y/N. It'll save all of us time and effort if you let me drive you."

"You also live in the opposite direction.", you snide, "Don't try to outsmart me."

Mingyu smiles sheepishly, "Anyways, I have to drop by to give you the lunchboxes. Now on, I'll just come early and cook here itself. My office starts later than yours so it's fine."

And no matter what you couldn't win over him. Hence, he now knows the passcode of your apartment.

"You're not allowed to barge in anytime without my permission. Always drop a text if you're coming. Don't misuse the privilege.", came your strict instruction with those 4 digits.

As another month passes by, your cravings start to get weirder. The urges always are to have something which you think no sane person would ever think about eating. And the timings, well random, no patterns.

Mingyu's heart drops when he's cooking one morning and you emerge from your room with a big patch pasted on your forehead.

He rushes to your side but you pretend to not notice him, roaming around the house aimlessly. And after a lot of tailing, Mingyu finally corners you.

The proximity almost makes you go berserk. His smell overpowers you causing you to nudge him to widen the gap.

"Lately, my cravings have been you know....", you trail off embarrassed, "It always hits at dawn hours."

Mingyu listens to you with utmost attention.

"I was craving candied pickles and I didn't have them at home so I went to the convenience store at 4 am."

You hush him when Mingyu opens his mouth, wide eyed, jaw dropped.

"I couldn't find the car keys and it was only there blocks down so I walked there and on the way back, I bumped onto a pole. It was dark, I missed it.", you whine rubbing your face in embarrassment and wincing when you accidentally rub on the cut.

It's a reminder to Mingyu of how you have been having it difficult and a string of regrets  making him ponder that if the divorce didn't happen he could have been doing all of it for you, without having asked to.

He grabs your face, making you look at him, "From next time onwards, please call me, no matter what time. I'll bring you what you're craving. It's not safe alone out there, more when you're pregnant."

And he knows that even though you'd agree on his face but you'd never bother him out at odd timings. Scratch that, he wants you to contact him even for the simplest things but you don't. Every time his phone pops up a notification he wishes that it's you. But that never happens.

So one night when your cravings got to your head and you decided to make a quick round to the store, your heart leaped out of the chest on opening the door.

It's Mingyu, sitting by the threshold, well sleeping against the door. As the door opened his body fell inside, waking him up as the result of the impact.

You quickly stand him up on his feet and take him inside.

"What are you doing here?", you ask him flabbergasted, "Why were you sleeping at the door when you know the passcode?"

Mingyu, still groggy, answers, "You told me to not enter your house without informing you. And I didn't want you to go out alone."

Your heart twinges at his words. You should be having emotional turmoil but something unexpected is happening and you absolutely hate it. The cravings for food have suddenly subsided and now you're craving for something else.

Rather someone else. You're suddenly craving for your ex-husband.

How can he look so tempting, wearing just a simple t-shirt and trackpant while being sleepy. Blame it on the hormones and those r-rated scenes in the movie that you watched this afternoon.

"Don't pull something like this again.", you say, rubbing your neck, "Just punch the code and get in, anytime."

And Mingyu is left confused when you maneuver him to the other room asking him to sleep there before rushing into your bedroom because another moment he is in your vicinity, your control would snap.

Domesticity comes handy with Mingyu. He is the kind of person who could effortlessly blend into your life under any circumstances.

So one day when you stand oogling your shoes wrack with doe eyes and curled down lips, Mingyu comes searching for you.

"What did those shoes do so bad to make you upset?", he asks with a hint of humour in his voice.

You huff before craning your neck to look at him. You pull him beside and point at the topmost shelf saying, "Those are my favourite pair of stilettoes, it's been so long I've worn them. And that pair of ruby scarpin, I can hear them calling my name."

Mingyu knows about your admiration of heels which explains the huge collection you've accumulated. Staying with you, has also made him accustomed to the clacking of heels whenever you walked swiftly wearing them.

So he understands that pregnancy doesn't actually leverage you from wearing heels, but you don't wear them just to maintain safety and avoid prolonged effects.

He takes your hands with a mischievous smile, "Wanna experience the feeling of wearing them?"

"You know I can't."

He hushes you, pulling you closer. He gestures you to slip out of the sliders and straightens himself, "Hop on my feet."

You look at him confused, "You'll get hurt, plus even if I try my belly won't allow me to do so."

"Just trust me, okay?", Mingyu says coaxing you and you do give in.

As you can't see the ground beneath your belly, Mingyu guides you and as soon as your feet are on his, he adjusts them making sure that both of your heels are in the air. Once making sure of the position, he places your hands on his shoulders and secures his tightly around your waist.

He starts walking around the house with you.

"See, same same.", he grins, pecking your forehead.

You laugh, lolling your head back, "Getting creative now, are we Mr. Kim? I'll give you points for the height."

Mingyu swears that he'd walk you this all the time, that your feet won't touch the ground even for a second if you want.

One day, he accidentally discovers that phoenix_726 is actually you when he wanted to play a game but it's been so long that he has forgotten his credentials so he decides to play using your account.

"I thought you're a man!"

"I used voice modulator with my headset because creeps started hitting on me as soon as they I'm a female."

"I can't believe, we've talking to each other, played along so long without knowing the real identity."

"Remember, I'm a much better player than you, Kim Mingyu."

"You wish, Y/N. I'm obviously better."

That debate never ended.

This isn't supposed to happen. You stand by the kitchen counter, watching a very familiar scene unfold in front of you.

"I can see the gears turning, you know?", Minghao says as he stands beside you.

"How did I agree upon this?", you sigh, "What's wrong with me, this isn't supposed to happen."

His features soften, "Because though you were able to hide your emotions previously, now you couldn't do that anymore. They are here because you've missed them, it's because you love them and want to spend time with them."

You know he's speaking the truth. And your eyes tear as the words hit you. Minghao pats your back when he sees you wiping your eyes frantically hoping for no one to see you like this.

"Thanks for letting us meet you.", Minhee smiles as you both sit and enjoy the company, "I missed you."

"Me too, Minhee.", you look at her, returning that smile. You turn only to find Junhui humouring Minghao, the latter actually smiling at the antics which is rare. Seokmin and Jeonghan are seemingly scolding Soonyoung. And Hansol is talking about something real serious with Mingyu's parents.

And your breath hitches when your gaze locks with Mingyu, he has been looking at you the whole time.

"He misses you the most.", Minhee says, "But he's been happy now, keeps yapping about how he gets to see you everyday. Goes on for hours about how much more beautiful you've gotten, the pregnancy looks great on you. Cries every time, he realises you two aren't together and it's because of him."

You turn back to look at her, shaking your head. It's overwhelming.

You had a good time. Minghao gained new friends and Mingyu stayed back while everyone else left. It's because he knows you too well. He has noticed you caressing your protruding belly more than usual.

"It's just the usual spasms.", you tell him when he asks repeatedly, "Maybe because I moved around way too much today."

"I'm taking you to the doctor, tomorrow.", Mingyu says, "No objections. But for now, what can I do to make you feel better?"

"There's nothing to do, Mingyu. It'll go away."

Mingyu nods just to go back and hug you from behind. You freeze at the sudden action. His hands snake down from your waist as he gently tries to hold up the weight of your belly. And it's somehow soothing. He dips his nose on your nape to inhale your scent and you subconsciously lean back on him.

That night when you have trouble sleeping again, Mingyu spends it reading the books on parenting devotedly until you fall asleep in his arms, on the couch. But you wake up on the bed the next morning.

"What does this mean, anyone knows?", Soonyoung asks as the guys hang out.

Mingyu is involuntarily present as Minhee kicks him out of your apartment, declaring girls day. He has been sulking since then.

"The sunset is beautiful, isn't it?", Soonyoung adds, "This."

The phrase rings in Mingyu's ear as he tries to figure out its familiarity.

"Who said that to you?", Seokmin asks amused.

Soonyoung gulps, he can't reveal that Minhee had said it to him so he brushes it off.

Seokmin cocks his brows but tells nonetheless, "When someone says this, it's a way of them telling you that they love you, but they're letting you go."

Soonyoung freezes and so does Mingyu.

Seokmin looks at both of them lost while Hansol quickly catches on.

"By any chance, did Y/N say that to you?, Hansol asks and before Mingyu could answer Jeonghan stirs up.

"She did.", he confirms, "On the day they got divorced. I was there and heard it as well. Thought it was unusual of her to say something like that given the situation. But it makes sense now."

Junhui gasps, "Oh my god", he slaps his hand covering his mouth in shock, "She loves you, goddamn it. She loves you!"

Mingyu sits frozen. His mind is empty, no thoughts at all.

"Min?", Seokmin tries to shake his friend out of the trance.

"Gyu", Jeonghan calls calmly, "There's something I have been meaning to ask you for some time."

And when he does so, Mingyu does show a minimal movement. And of a sudden his empty mind from before starts filling up with all sorts of thoughts. His head and heart teams up to concierge him.

Mingyu looks at him robotically.

"You had kept the contract papers in the locker right? Did you even tell Y/N the passcode?", he asks.

Mingyu shakes his head, "No. She doesn't know."

"Then how did she get the papers? Did you check the locker again?", Hansol asks further.

"All she said was that she got the papers from my office. And while in the hassle, it didn't occur in my mind to check the locker again.", Mingyu answers.

"If my hunch is right, then I'm guessing it's a lie.", Jeonghan says, "I think she already knew about the contract, sometime after the marriage."

"How did she know? Her uncle never wanted her to know so he wouldn't tell her.", Junhui asks, "And even if she knew then why did she use it to get a divorce?"

"Only Y/N has the answer to these questions.", Jeonghan says, "Gyu, just go and check the locker and if you find your copy of the contract papers then just go and confront her. I'm sure she has her reasons so know them and see if there's a chance of reconciliation."

You notice that Mingyu has been acting quite out of character for the past few days. He seems like lost in thought. There's something different about the way he looks at you now.

The day before when you both went out to buy clothes and stuff for the baby, unlike other times he remained absent minded. You chose not to bother him.

But as the pregnancy progressed towards the end of the last trimester, it has been giving you one kind of hell. You are pretty much lost without Mingyu, feeling like a liability who's useless without him. Your emotions are a mess and you're always tired.

Mingyu wishes he could do anything to soothe your pain. He cries in the bathroom at nights when he hears your groans and sees those tears streaming down your eyes. There's another turmoil that's whirlwinding inside him, he has so many questions he wants answer of but he couldn't, just didn't wanna cause of any more of stress.

After a lot of negotiation and convincing, Mingyu now gets to hold you to sleep. His warmth visibly helps you to sleep better. What's bothering him is how you tremble in your sleep at night, there's always some incoherent murmuring before you are crying which prompts him to wake you up in the middle of night. And no matter how many times he asks, you never utter words about those reoccurring nightmares.

One night when Mingyu instinctively wakes up just to check on you, he finds you looking at him. His heart drops when he finds you sobbing.

"Gyu", you caress his cheeks, "there's something I want to tell you."

Mingyu holds your hand that lays on his face, giving a nod.

You lean in, faces merely an inch apart, "I love you."

You feel him go stiff under your touch. But he doesn't look at you as if you've grown another head rather there's calamity in his features.

"I'd have regretted if I didn't say it to you.", you admit, "There's a favour I want from you."

"What is it?"

"If there's a situation comes while I give birth", you voice quivers, "where you could save either me or the baby. Choose to save the baby, please."

Mingyu can't believe what he's hearing. He can't fathom loosing either of you.

"Where is this coming from?", he croaks as his hand ascends to protectively rub your belly.

"I have been dreaming of banshee, everynight. It signifies that someone would die in the family. I don't have anyone else from the baby so please promise me you'll protect our baby."

Mingyu pulls you closer, trying to keep his tears at bay, "Nothing such will happen. You both will be safe and healthy. I'll protect you both."

There's a moment of silence before Mingyu decides to speak up, "I found the copies of the contract in the locker. You never got those in hand. Since when did you know about it and why did you lie?"

You knew he was bound to find out someday so you decide to come clean because it's suffocating to keep everything within yourself for such a long time.

"That was the copy uncle had. I found out about the contract after a year since we got married. Came across the papers accidentally in uncle's office while I was visiting and confronted uncle. He confessed everything and I felt so betrayed.", you look up at him, "But I couldn't even think about leaving you. That's when I realised that I had fallen in love with you."

You press your finger on his lips when Mingyu tries to speak.

"But I also knew that you weren't over Sora, your social media still had all your pictures with her. It made me think if we should go through this marriage. My fault, I just couldn't let you go, I wanted to believe that you'd eventually come to me. Can you blame me though? You are my first love, of course I was being stupid and pathetic."

You laugh through your tears and it cracks his heart. Mingyu is rendered speechless by now.

"Then I decided to forget about everything because I thought we were making progress. Well, atleast I thought that we're happily married, alongside hoping that you'd fall for me. More confident because the pregnancy came along. It wouldn't be really hard to develop feelings for the mother of your child right? That's what I pondered over every night. But then a string of incidents happened."

Your voice tones down flat, the sadness returning in it, "When Sora came back, I knew you were just helping her. But I was just afraid because I can fight all the people who want you but I can't fight that one person whom you want. Sora was your first love after all."

You shift, creating a tiny space between you and him, "I wasn't mad at you when I heard you saying those things about me to the guys. Your mind was clouded, your first love had returned, now wanting you back where on the contrary you were married to someone whom you didn't love. I know it all came out because you knew you'd never fall in love with me and it's because I wasn't exactly the wife material. You couldn't think of ending the marriage because a lot was at stakes, yes, the contract, it ends with the end of the marriage."

"But still I chose to be selfish because of the baby and thought of working our marriage. Then my uncle died.", you shudder, recoiling, "And that was the last straw or you can say the indication I needed. I realised that I'm cursed. People around me or associated with me keep dying. So it's better to cut off the ties. I brought up the divorce using the contract papers because that was only way to protect you. Losing you as a husband is far better than losing you entirely."

Mingyu exhales sharply. If he felt like a jerk before, he feels absolutely trash after your confession. The man who had always taken pride in himself for being perceptive and empathetic, termed as their ideal type by many has his pride crumbled down, been to put to place.

He's simply a buffoon who couldn't even understand his wife. Just because you are not verbal, doesn't mean that you don't care. You cared more than anyone else, selfless enough to let go just to protect your love.

In a world where all these people think love's for show, you are the type to die for your beloved in secret.

"Mingyu", your voice pulls him out of the reverie. Mingyu thinks you've enchanted him, otherwise how could it make sense that you're glowing under the moonlight that's peeking in through the windows. Your smile melts him into a puddle, you're looking so divine.

When his gaze locks on yours, you say, "Stop feeling bad. It's not your fault, feelings can't be controlled. And people do go through unhappy marriages and opt for separation. It's quite normal. Also, you don't have to go beyond your capacity to accomodate me. I know you feel and are responsible for the baby but it's okay. Co-parenting is surely difficult but we will make it work. Don't miss out on love and life because you feel guilty towards your ex-wife. I'll be fine."

Mingyu has enough. He gently pushes you on your back and suddenly grabs both of your hands and pins them above your head. He hovers over you, careful of your belly and says, "You're doing awfully bad for someone who has such great perceptive skills."

Then he proceeds to rest his forehead onto yours. Your eyes widen and you try to free your hands but your strength is nothing as compared to his.

"Please, please kiss me or I'll go insane.", Mingyu whispers against your lips, freeing your hands.

"We shouldn't be doing this.", comes your meek response.

"And what if I say that I love you?", Mingyu nudges your nose with his, kissing your chin.

"Don't say something you'd regret later.", you say inhaling sharply.

"I'd regret if I don't confess now. I have already made a lot of mistakes, I can't afford to make any more."

He kisses your forehead, "I admire you in all the aspects. The way you're managing work and life while carrying a life inside you, amazes me."

Kissing on top of your eyes, he says, "I know you're independent and efficient but you can lean on me when things get rough."

He smiles as he kisses your cheeks, "You're so beautiful. You were a different kind of beautiful before the pregnancy, your beauty is unfathomable now and you will still be aphrodisiac post pregnancy."

Another kiss on your nose, "You're gaming skills are better than mine. But we conquer more when we're teaming up. So please take me in. I promise I won't let you down."

"I love you.", you shudder when his lips ghost over yours, "And I'm not confessing on just some whim or impulse. I mean it and I'll do anything to earn your trust. Even if it takes the lifetime I'll spend it making up to you."

He then waits patiently.

"I'm not responsible for my actions, the hormones are making me do this.", you anmounce before closing the gap.

Mingyu holds your face, kissing you slow and deep. Smiles when he feels your hand puckering on his shirt. Doesn't pull away until you're tapping on his arms for a breather. Latches back onto your lips after a second because he has been craving them so bad and now that he got the taste, he can't get enough.

The venue for the wedding is decorated beautifully, the lightings and flowers are complimenting each other in the best way.

You smile, sitting quietly as you resort to watching from a distance. The flute of champagne remains untouched.

Mingyu looked great when he walked to the altar. He looks beautiful on the stage. Seeing him donning the suit once again reminded you of your wedding. What if your marriage worked out?

Sora looks beautiful as well. Given, that she's the bride, all eyes are on her.

It's time to exchange vows, the priest announces. You don't remember all the vows you read during your wedding but you surely have some of them memorized. You wonder if they'll read the vows of similar wordings.

As the ceremony ends, your eyes move back and forth, studying the crowd when you feel the seat beside you being taken.

"Your presence on the stage was quite captivating.", you say boringly, "Someone could have mistaken you as the groom."

Mingyu laughs, "Actually I do want to get married but the woman I'm pursuing doesn't seem much interested."

You roll your eyes, "Then pursue someone else."

Though you don't look at him, you'd clearly sense the pout on his face, "But she's the love of my live and the mother of our son."

Your lips threaten to break into a smile. It's been over a year since you gave birth to Minjae, your son.

"Minhee had called.", you tell him, "She told that she'll be keeping Jae for another day, so no need to drop by her house."

Mingyu nods, "Minhee never lets him go easily. Jae seems to be fond of his aunt too. I'm sure Jae is perched on Soonyoung now."

You snort, "That's a given. I need your help on choosing the engagement gift for Minhee and Soonyoung. Hao will also join. When are you free?"

"For you, I'm always free.", Mingyu gives you a flirtatious smile, "Can Hao not come with us, I'll help him out separately."

"Let me go and congratulate Sora and Jungin quickly. We can leave after that.", you sigh at his antics and get on your feet, walking towards the newlyweds.

Sora, tired of her poor choices, sought out to her parents for arrange marriage and that's how she met Jungin and dated him for a while before tying the knot. You weren't exactly sure of attending your ex-husband's ex's wedding but Sora made you promise her and so you somehow ended up at the ceremony while Minhee took care of your son.

Not much has changed over the year. After your son's birth, Mingyu has become brazzen. He has become an absolute loser in love. And that loser has been courting you since then. You're always on your toes when around him because you have no idea what he'll pull. He is unofficially cohabitating with you in the name of parenting. You know better, even if Minjae grows up overnight and moves out, Mingyu would still not stop showing at your door with a bouquet in one hand and that damn smile.

You are unbothered when instead of dropping you off and leaving, Mingyu follows you into the apartment.

"Jae is not even here so what are you doing here?", you ask and take off your sandal.

And as you take another step, you're suddenly swept off your feet. You're not even surprised, your reflexes have grown immune. Mingyu effortlessly carries you to the bedroom and drops you on the bed, drops the blazer on the floor before joining you.

"I don't know about you but I need to change, can't sleep in this dress."

You whine when his grip around your hips tightens.

There's a goofy grin on his face, "I love you so much that my heart might explode someday. Thanks for giving birth to our son and for raising him with me. Thanks for being there for my sister and scaling that Soonyoung when he was confused about his feelings and being an absolute idiot. I like how happy both of them look together. Though you don't owe anything but I'm grateful as you always make sure to attend my parents' anniversary or birthdays and help them out when I can't. Thanks for being a great companion to my friends even after knowing how intolerable they can be."

You squint your eyes at him, already catching on.

Mingyu sits up and fishes out the very familiar velvety box.

He takes out the ring and asks, "Will you marry me?"

"No.", you say and get up, beelining into the bathroom to to get changed.

Mingyu smiles as he watches you. Here goes his 156th attempt of randomly proposing you and you rejecting him.

As Mingyu too gets changed and plops onto the bed, he whispers in your ear pulling you close to his body, "You know right, I won't stop asking you to marry me until you agree or find someone else which I pray for to never happen."

"What if I never say 'yes'?", you ask sleepily, feeling his lips giving feather kisses on your neck.

"I promised to wait a lifetime for you.", Mingyu answers in a heartbeat.

You drift off to sleep and Mingyu remembers something you had said a month or two ago as a part of your late night sleepy rambles.

"I'll marry you, after Jae turns three. I want him to be the flower boy at our wedding."

He still feels giddy, whenever he remembers your words. He doesn't know if he should account for something you said subconsciously, he's not sure if you are yourself aware of these words either. But what matters, what gives him hope is that deep inside your heart you've left him space.

So even if you agree to one of his random proposals, he'll prepare a grand proposal for you just before Jae's third birthday and will marry you right after his son turns three if you say yes.

Mingyu has planned out everything, he'd make Jae walk you down the aisle along with him. Though he's not sure if his heart will be able to handle such a sight. Marrying the love of his life in the presence of his family and friends, what else he could ask for.

Because in the end, everything is worth only for love.

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip.

[dearsnow]

THIS CAN WORK

- as you’re trying to forget about him, the man who broke your heart shows up at your doorstep. or in which jake gets yelled at by the entire hard deck. (jake “hangman” seresin x fem!reader, angst -> fluff, reading part 1 is probably a good idea but idk if it’s 100% necessary)

PART 1

word count: 2,032

a/n - the official part 2 is here!! thank you for all the love part 1 got <3 i’m not personally the biggest jake fan but writing this was honestly so fun. i loved exploring the softer and more insecure parts of his personality, so i may have more planned for him in the future 👀

It’s been two days since Jake cut you out of his life, and to say you’ve been devastated is an understatement. You still have his shirts and his stupid nighttime noise maker, and with them, the lingering feeling of his touch on your skin. You’ve already texted to let him know that you’ll drop off his things later, but he has yet to respond. It’s like he’s dropped off the face of the Earth. Good, you think. Let him. But he better at least wipe any memory of himself from your thoughts first.

You’re trying your best to forget, you really are. You took down the pictures of him that hung on your wall, right by your bed, and you’ve shoved the pillow that holds the faint scent of his cologne into the depths of your closet, and the photos of him on your phone are sitting in the recently deleted album. It’s better this way, you tell yourself. You need to get him off your mind as soon as possible and move on to better things, better people. Like a stubborn stain, his presence remains.

But you still want him like you’ve never wanted a single thing before, and it makes you sick.

Jake had never felt worse in his life. As soon as he saw you walking away, he regretted it, but if there’s one thing Jake Seresin hates, it is being wrong. His friends called him every synonym for wrong in the dictionary that night.

“You’re an idiot, Bagman. She was the best thing you had going for you and you just pushed her away like that?” Phoenix scoffed. She had overheard snippets your break-up, and after prompting Penny, she knew the full story within seconds.

“I did what was best for her-“

“No, you did what was best for you.” Penny interjected. “If you can’t make the effort to keep someone so amazing in your life, you’re never going to get anywhere. Relationships require compromise and change on both sides. The whole time you were with her, she was bending over backwards to accommodate you, and you couldn’t even shift to the side a little and give her a pinch of what she needed.”

Jake could feel anger rising in his throat. He knew best, right? No one saw his perspective. No one could feel how unhappy he would’ve made you. He was setting you free. Right? Please, let him be right.

Rooster prodded him in the stomach with his pool stick. Apparently everyone was in on the conversation. “You’ve got that self-pitying look, man. You fucked up. You’ve been fucking up. If you really think you’re not good enough for her, isn’t that a reason to become good enough for her?”

“I just…” For the first time, Jake was at a loss for words. He was coming to recognize that he was wrong. He was so, so wrong, but that felt like a slap in the face. For the first time, Rooster’s words didn’t intend to antagonize him. They were honest, and he hated it.

Bob tried to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but Jake pushed it off. “You should talk to her.” He offered. “Tell her your side, and if she’s open to it, work on yourself so you can be good for her.” His voice was soft and soothing, like he was whispering to a wounded animal. Jake felt himself burning up under the gazes of his friends.

“Yeah,” He swallowed hard, finally coming to terms with the fact that he can make mistakes. “Maybe I will.”

You’re humming to yourself, cleaning your apartment’s modest kitchen. The sun is out, shining golden beams upon the shiny counter you’re wiping down. It smells like the nicely-scented cleaner you just bought. The old one smelled too much like him. But, as you move on, so does life. Thinking about it gives you a headache, so you’ve chosen to do anything but think.

A knock at your door makes you put down your rag. You figure it’s just your landlord, considering that you were meant to pay your rent yesterday. You sigh, readying yourself to tell sweet Mr. Hammond that you’ll pay it ASAP.

Your fingers grip the door handle and pry it open. The thing has always been a little too hard to move; old hinges, you figure. Before you can get the door to open fully, you stop in your tracks. Jake.

He’s holding a bag of your favorite takeout with a sheepish look on his face. You consider slamming the door, but it would probably get stuck if you moved it too fast. “Have you come to collect your things?” You ask softly, looking him up and down. He looks like shit. He has seemingly forgotten how to shave, his stubble turning into the awkward length that you always chided him to take care of, and his deep green eyes are laden with sadness. It almost makes you feel bad for him— until, of course, you remember he broke your heart. Calm down, you think, make this quick and easy. Get him in and out.

“No.” He states simply. “I wanted to apologize.” This is a big thing for him, something so new that it sounds foreign to your ears. Jake apologizing? His shoulders are hunched slightly. You resist the urge to put a loving hand on his chest, as you usually did when he was feeling out of sorts.

“It’s fine.” Your voice is quiet, laced with as much kindness as you can muster. “I put all your stuff in a box, if you wanted to pick it up.” You’re still subtly prompting, trying to get him out again.

He places the takeout in your grasp, his pinky finger brushing lightly against your own. You hate how it still makes you tingle. Your other hand picks at the edges of your soft loungewear. Jake purses his lips slightly as you step backwards, your feet shuffling against the linoleum floor. “Can we talk?”

“I thought we just talked.” You respond curtly. He sighs, eyebrows drawn.

“I mean really talk. Just hear me out this one time, and if you want, you’ll never have to see me again.”

You nod slightly, resigning yourself to the fact that you have to get this over with. At least your apartment is clean and sparkling; in your own way, you’re telling him that you don’t need his permission to live a nice life. You can clean, and you can take care of yourself. The takeout finds its place on your small table. You pull out a stool from the side of your island and sit down as the stool’s legs creak underneath you. Jake sits, too, opposite you. His hands are shaking a little, but you turn your gaze up to his face.

You can hear his breaths deepening as he clasps his hands together. “I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”

“I appreciate your apology, but that doesn’t really change what happened.” You state. He holds up a finger as if to tell you to wait just a bit. Your eyes pass over his dejected expression, his mouth tilting just the slightest bit downwards.

“I know. I was being stupid, and I see that now. You’re amazing, honey. You’re nice and generous and this genuine kind of comforting that makes me smile. When I’m with you, I feel like I want to be better. And trust me, I do. I want to be so much better for you. When I first met you, I thought that you’d be a fit for Bob or something, that’s how amazing you are. I thought deserved someone like him, someone just as caring, but I fell in love with you instead, and now look where we are.” He chuckles dryly. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “I guess I just felt inadequate and stupidly insecure. I know I’m not what a respectable girl like you would want, so I pushed you away and hurt you instead. I didn’t consider your feelings at all that night, and for that, I really am sorry. I don’t know if that explanation changes anything now, but I had to give it a shot; you were never too sweet, I was just too damn bitter.”

His words come out in a ramble. You’ve never seen him so much as stutter, but his confident, calm voice is bordering on anxious. You can’t even believe what you’re hearing.

It takes a lot of guts to say something like that. When you look back on your interactions, on everything he’s ever said or done around you, you finally see it clearly. All he does is build himself up to be this great figure, so much so that people can’t tell that his ego has been sorely bruised. That’s why he shrugs off comfort and security, fucking up every sure thing in his life during the process.

He’s boring a hole into your forehead with how hard he’s staring. His hands are still white-knuckled, holding each other like they’re seeking some sort of solace. The tension in the air is palpable as you take a breath. “Thank you. I… It’s nice to hear you acknowledge that.”

Jake can hear his breathing quicken shakily. That could’ve gone a lot worse. You’re not screaming at him, hitting him, kicking him out, anything that he thinks you should do. You’re just sitting there, nails digging into the flesh on your arm, looking shocked and heartbroken all at once. He takes one deep gulp of air. “You’re welcome. I’ll get out of your hair now.” He stands to leave, but your smaller hand catches his. His palm is damp.

“I’m sorry you ever had to feel that way about yourself.” You say. His small admission of insecurity weighs on you like nothing else. “You’re a good guy, Jake. I hope you’ll take this as an opportunity to work on yourself and find what makes you happy.”

Budding tears prick at his waterline. He hasn’t cried in a long time, but looking at you makes him want to. He wants to slide into your arms and sob, press his face into your neck and tell you over and over that he wants you back. He has to try. He thinks he’ll regret it for his whole life if he doesn’t. “You make me happy,” he hesitates, “and if you’ll have me, I’d like to have you around while I work on myself. I need you. You make me want to be good enough for you.”

You take one step, then another, and he doesn’t protest a single bit as you envelop him in a hug. His muscles relax as he wraps his arms around you, the tension breathing a sigh of relief. “I’d like that.” Your voice is slightly muffled from being pressed into his chest, but he hears you loud and clear. “I missed being with you.”

You missed the way he would cook you breakfast in the mornings with a dish towel thrown over his shoulder and classic rock playing from his phone. He always told you that you’d get the whole experience when you visited him, starting with his lips caressing your collarbones and continuing with breakfast in bed. It didn’t even matter if you didn’t want to leave; he would take you with him, wherever he went. He even got in trouble once for sneaking you on base.

You missed his scratchy morning voice and warm hands and how he always had an arm around you. You missed him caring about you, wiping your tears, and you missed how confidently he showed you off and stood up for you. You missed almost everything about him, if you’re being honest. You thinking you could live without him was but a brief lapse in your sanity.

“I missed you too.” He whispers. “I… I really do love you, darlin’. I’ll shape up, I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” You smile.

For the first time in a while, Jake can feel hope pricking at his heart, and you can feel it beating through his shirt.

Maybe, just maybe, you think, this can work.

Taglist: @seitmai

[taylortruther]

I actually agree with you 100% on all long-term relationship breakups being pretty much the same. When you've loved someone for so long, it means they're also part of your routines, part of your comfort, part of your home and part of your family. Their family becomes your family, their friends become your friends, their hopes and aspirations become things you care about as well as their struggles. The reasons why the rs starts falling apart aren't as simple as one or both parties no longer "being in love", but rather a combination of issues: career ambitions intolerable to the relationship for various reasons, incompatibility of personalities or of extended families, growth at different paces, the goals and wishes agreed at the start of the rs changing with time, loss of trust and connection, etc. I thought of this the other day when an anon mentioned the movie Blue Valentine, and I think the reason why that film feels so realistic (and devastating) is because all long term relationships slowly desintegrate in similar manners to what happens to the couple in the movie. And piggybacking off the discourse we had on The Alcott, it's quite desperating and frustrating to slowly realize that things that once were profoundly sacred have come to feel like a curse; you no longer feel like you're choosing everyday to be with this person out of love, but rather that you're emprisioned to them.

What we know about TTPD department so far makes me think this will be explored but not in the way many fans seem to be expecting (not you guys lol but I have seen ppl that expect the songs to be sassy, petty, and accusatory). Instead, I think we will see her show and deconstruct all the ways she fought for it to work, compromising, committing, twisting herself into a pretzel, and making herself smaller, not because he was "forcing her" like some fans think but rather from her own decision bc that's just how much she loved him. Which is even more devasting if you think of it: she locked herself away, tried to dim her shine, beared emotional burdens alone because of her own conviction and desire to make things work, not as a result of him "making her" do all of that. So imo one of the reasons this album will be particularly devastating is bc we will learn in a very raw manner just how much she loved this man and how much she was willing to give up for him, and how much regret she probably has about things she did for him that at the time felt like a no-brainer but in hindsight seem ridiculous (which is a very common thing for everyone bc that's simply what you do when you love someone; love isn't usually rational). And this will undoubtedly be very relatable for ppl who have been in ltrs that ended bc, as you say, most of them end in the same way and most of us realize how much we actually sacrificed for it only after the fact.

i agree!!! also, we know taylor never does anything by halves. we know love is basically a religion of drug to her. we know she felt that he believed in her and loved her for her at a time when she felt she was distinctly unlovable. we know she fought hard to deal with her baggage. we know she was reflecting on fame, how fickle it is, and why she wanted it so badly (miss americana doc, mirrorball, midnight rain, to name a few.) we can look at midnights to see the things that were haunting her and they were things like: dealing with fame, choosing the hard way, reckoning with loss of self, wanting to protect love that felt fragile, blocking out noise, the empowerment and loneliness of relying on oneself. midnights feels like a very honest and logical progression past folkmore, which discussed those topics as well as infidelity, taking up space, confronting depression and pain and other sticky human desires. ttpd feels like it will further touch on these complicated and sticky and dark topics, with the added "bonus" of the specter of a breakup, and the breakup itself, haunting them. anyone whose ever lost a part of themselves to try and save a relationship of any kind will understand, i think. love is a beast that way.

[thisblogisaboutabook]

Bad Idea Right - Part 7

Eris x Reader/Azriel’s Daughter

Soft Eris! Brooding Azriel! Meddling Nyx! Nosey Azalea! Reader has feelings! Enjoy.

Part 6 Part 7.5 (Prequel Headcanon)

Warnings: Language

How convenient that the moment I show up in a compromising position at my door step with my half-naked lover? Fuck buddy? For all intents and purposes we’ll say boyfriend to spare my father from a heart attack at such a salacious relationship status. Surprise, Eris! You may be an oh-so-noble High Lord but now you’re my boyfriend too. Time to meet the parents! Again. But I digress, my father’s busy schedule conveniently cleared right up as Eris and I showed up at the door.

And Eris, the bastard, accepted his complete and utterly insincere offer to come in for lunch.

He winnowed back to his place beforehand to change into something more befitting of the situation at hand.

It was my intention to dart to my room, put on more clothing than my skimpy underwear and hide there until Eris returned but…. Azalea had other things in mind. No sooner than I dressed, she barreled in through the door.

“Sissy! I missed you. Why didn’t you have clothes on?”

Following her into the room came my mother. “Azalea, why don’t you go help dad set the table.”

Her jaw dropped “But-“

“Please, Azalea. We don’t want Eris to return while we are unprepared. That would make us poor hosts.”

She mulled over it for a moment before letting out a breath. “Fiiiiiine.”

As she ran off down the hall, my mother approached me, seating herself on the edge of the bed.

Here comes the lecture.

Her soft face, frozen in eternal youth remained neutral. “Y/N, your father was mortified to walk out and find you two like that.”

I waited for her to continue but to my absolute shock, she raised her hand to her mouth and LAUGHED. A true, genuine laugh.

“I’m- I’m so sorry. I know it must have been so uncomfortable for you.” Her laughter was contagious, I couldn’t hold back the very slight grin that tilted the corners of my lips upwards. “I just- he’s so hard to surprise. I can count on both hands the amount of times I’ve ever seen him shocked, and Y/N, half of them have been because of you.”

Her laughter softened as she placed a hand softly upon my cheek. I leaned into it. “I love you, Y/N. Your antics and the surprise you bring to our lives makes immortality far less dull.”

I didn’t realize how much I needed this moment with my mother. It was easy to forget that she was more than just “mother”. She was a strong female with a sense of humor and more purpose than just tending to a home and garden and doting over her children.

I am an adult now. She is still very young in fae terms. My mother could be my friend if I’d only let her.

As her laughter died, a memory struck me.

The burning flame drives away the wild shadow.

“The vision from Starfall. What about that? You seemed so upset.”

Mother took my hand. “Y/N, my visions are only a piece of a puzzle, not the entire picture. It could mean anything. The situation itself took me by surprise and the vision felt ominous in the moment but it may not mean anything. And despite the situation that just unfolded at our door, I trust you to use your best judgement. If you feel safe and happy, that’s all I can ask for.”

Elain Archeron, seer and pragmatist. Who knew?

——————

Forks scraped on plates and glasses clanked on wood as the five of us tensely ate our lunch. My appetite non-existent at this point in time. Eris decided to show up in his most noble High Lord attire because why not make this lunch more stiff and uncomfortable than it needs to be? And while he may have been dressed for the part of serious High Lord, his posturing oozed irreverence. with a saccharine grin plastered onto his face. A silent battle of wills raged between he and my father, who would cut the tension by breaking through the silence first?

My father, cauldron bless him, only sat stiffly in his chair, trying his damndest (and failing) not to clench his jaw, while his fists wrapped tightly around his utensils - as if he were afraid he’d set them down and his fists would immediately go flying toward Eris’ face.

My mother sat directly across from me, passing the occasional eyebrow raise in my direction - a silent sentiment of “Males. Am I right?”

Meanwhile, Azalea bounced eagerly in her chair, eyes darting back and forth between my father and Eris. Sparing the two males of a shot to their male egos, she broke the silence. “Well??? Is anyone going to say something?”

“Azalea” my mother warned. To which Azalea let out a dismissive huff before opening her mouth again. “Hey fire-uh, Eris! Do you love my sister? Are you going to get married?”

I choked on my water, father somehow managed to grip his utensils tighter, and Eris only chuckled. “I’d have to get her to go on a proper date with me first.”

While his intentions were genuine with the statement, my father visibly paled as if remembering what two adults who aren’t on dates tended to get up to.

“Ohh! A date! Sissy, why don’t you go on one?”

“Eris is a High Lord, Azzy. It’s hard to schedule time for one.”

“What about Aunt Feyre’s art exhibit? You could dress up fancy and go to Sevenda’s and Eris, you could get her flowers!”

A small part of me lit up at that. I had never considered a date as an option. A larger part of me wanted to fall through the floor immediately only to resurface once everyone had left the table.

Eris glanced toward me, likely noticing my slightly reddened cheeks. With a grin he said, “I’d like that. When’s this exhibit, Azalea?”

The comment sent Azalea into a frenzy as she gave him all the details of the day, the time, the gallery, her favorite works, and into her own interest in art and painting, and how Aunt Feyre keeps a picture that she’d painted of a Unicorn - which is very different from a Pegasus, thank you very much - framed in her gallery.

Azalea may be the biggest busybody of us all but gods was I thankful for her chatty ways and tendency to overshare in the moment.

As Azalea rambled on a loud knock banged on the door, far too loud for my lingering headache from the night before. My shadows practically hissed in irritation at the disruption. And then, as I saw my fathers tense features shift from his own state of irritation into relief, rage flickered inside me.

I glowered. “Are you fucking kidding me, dad?”

Ignoring my question completely, he strode to the door only to be greeted by Cassian’s hulking figure and Rhys.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how cheeky he was feeling, Nyx strode in behind them.

If Eris was phased, he didn’t show it. Powerful High Lord or not, I had to give it to him. My- the male had balls.

Cassian clapped Eris on the shoulder as he strutted in. “To what do we owe this pleasure, High Lord?” Cassian’s ability to bait with only his tone of voice was rather impressive. Almost as impressive as Eris’ ability to remain unbothered by his efforts.

Nyx gave a subtle smirk and simultaneous eye roll. A show of “Oh I’m enjoying this very much but I empathize with you as well, cousin.” Rhys only gave Cassian a cautioning glare and likely a stern mental warning of “he’s still a High Lord and you will treat him as such.”

I forgot I still had a bone to pick with him over whatever secrets he and Eris had been keeping.

In fact….. since they were all here why not make this more uncomfortable for everyone - not JUST me.

Cassian, Rhys, and Nyx poured themselves glasses of whiskey before finding chairs at the table. Because why not mix in alcohol to this shit show? It’s not uncomfortable enough as it is.

“So,” I mused. “Uncle Rhys, when did you approve Eris for a temporary visa to rent an apartment in Velaris?”

Eris, ever the master of chaos, paled for the briefest of moments before a look crossed his features that he usually reserved for calling me “good girl” in his bed.

At that comment my father turned his icy gaze toward Rhys and even Cassian gaped.

And Rhys, the smooth prick, only replied “High Lord business, we have much to discuss regarding commerce in the coming months. Given his status it made more sense for him to have a private, warded apartment than to stay in a hotel with so many prying eyes.”

Though I thought the same, it was my father who muttered “Bullshit.” Shadows whirring in rage at Rhys openly allowing Eris to stay in the city as he pleases.

A part of me wanted to jump in and defend Eris but another part of me was still pissed to not have a direct answer.

Sensing the argument about to unfold between the brothers, my mother ushered Azalea, Eris, and I to the garden for tea. Nyx politely declined the offer in lieu of watching the drama between his father and Uncles play out.

—————

Seated in the garden, Azalea was jittery, practically begging to go inside and listen to the conversation with father and Rhys. Truthfully, I couldn’t blame her, and would have sent my shadows in but someone had thrown up a ward.

The tension between Eris and I, well, the tension from me to Eris was thick. I was still so angry with him for his secretive ways but… also so drawn to him. I craved him.

Fuck - this man and his stupid, beautiful face.

“Aw, are you thinking about me again? Glad you recognize which of us is the best looking Archeron.”

“Get out of my head, Nyx. You’re as nosey as Azalea.”

“Fine. I won’t give you updates on what’s happening in here.”

“Fuck off. Anyone have a broken bone or a black eye yet?”

“Nothing too exciting going on. Sadly. Mostly your father brooding in that rageful way of his over my father ‘encouraging’ your relationship.”

“He’s really struggling with accepting whatever it is between us.”

“Yeah, and Amren is a hoarder. Since we’re apparently stating the obvious here.”

“And you’re a pompous asshole.”

“You wound me, cousin.”

“Update me if anything interesting comes up.”

“Only if you say it.”

“I’m not saying it.”

“Fine. No gossip for you.”

“Are you really going to make me say it?”

Silence. Pure silence filled our mental connection for several moments.

“Fine.”

“Nyx is the most handsome Archeron.”

“I’m flattered. Talk to you later.”

I flipped him off mentally which earned a chuckle as his voice faded away.

He really was his father’s son. Insufferable in the most endearing of ways.

Seemingly having zoned out for too long, Azalea waived her little hands in my face “Earth to sissy!! Are you talking to Nyx? What’s happening?”

“LADIES.” Mother reprimanded. “Leave them be.”

A warmth heated my shoulder that I hadn’t previously noticed. When had Eris put his arm around me? So casually, so comfortably.

So…. Right.

And because she couldn’t leave him in peace, Azalea interrupted the quiet contentment, “Eris! I have a Sprite garden. Want to see it?”

Eris gave a gentle nod to Azalea. “I would love to.”

Mother only gave me an affectionate smile as I stood to follow them.

“This is Night Blooming Jasmine! The flowers are only out at night and this is a bench in case a Sprite comes to visit but I also put a bed back here” She motioned deep within the planted jasmine “in case one comes and needs a nap!”

Eris didn’t miss a beat as he crouched down to look at the little oasis she’s created in her garden.

“Do they ever come visit?” he asked inquisitively.

Softly, sadly, Azalea shook her head as she looked to the ground. “No.. but maybe someday. Maybe they’re nervous because we’re so big and they’re so tiny. I never see footprints but I will keep making it cozy for them so maybe they’ll feel safe. I would be their friend. We could be best friends.”

Eris listened attentively, never drifting his focus from her and her garden. And then my armored heart melted ever so softly as he warmly replied, “They’d be lucky to have you as a friend, Azalea.”

Her eyes lit up. “You really think so?”

“I know so.”

“You can be my friend too if you want.” She said, looking to him eagerly.

Eris was taken back for a moment. And the look in his face gutted me. As if- as if he couldn’t fathom that someone so gentle, so unbroken by the world could look at him and see anything other than the cold, calculated product of Beron Vanserra.

Azalea stared at him expectantly, her face beginning to falter until he smiled. A broad, genuine smile that I’d seen so few times. “I’d like that very much.”

And with that she grabbed his hand and led him through the rest of the garden.

——————

Eventually my mother retrieved a reluctant-to leave-Eris’-side Azalea, as father had sent Cassian, Rhys, and Nyx home. He was likely fuming that his little plan to make things more uncomfortable than necessary backfired and she didn’t feel like dealing with explaining to him why Azalea was gleefully dragging Eris by the hand through the garden.

I made a mental note to myself to take my little sister out for pastries soon as a “thank you” for serving as a buffer throughout the afternoon. I didn’t realize just how much discomfort she’d spared me from until she had gone inside and I was left alone in the garden with Eris.

Perhaps softened by his kindness with my vivacious sister and the painful look on his face at her kindness in return, I brushed my hand against the back of his.

His face remained stoic but I could have sworn a small lump formed in his throat.

We wandered a few more steps through the garden. He said nothing but, to my surprise, brought the back of his hand back to mine and hooked his pinky with mine.

And gods damn if that didn’t give me butterflies.

“So,” he started, almost coyly. I couldn’t be hearing this correctly. “About that exhibit at Feyre’s gallery?”

“Yes?” I asked.

“Could I-“ he took both of my hands in his, avoiding eye contact at first but finally meeting my gaze. “Would you- like for me to escort you? We could get dinner beforehand.”

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A nervous Eris Vanserra. Of all people, he was nervous in front of the female he’d been fucking for two years.

And yet, something sparked within me at the thought.

Feigning shock, I asked: “High Lord, are you asking me on a date?”

The corners of his lips lifted slightly. “Don’t be an ass.”

“Think you can manage not to strike anymore mysterious, shady bargains between now and then?”

“I believe I can manage.” He quipped. That casual irreverence in his tone returning.

“Then yes, Eris, I will. Now you should probably get home before my father comes out and decides to make his brooding everybody’s problem.”

With that he wrapped an arm around my waist as a hand gripped the back of my head, pulling in me tightly. His lips crashed into mine, kissing me passionately. I gasped into it as heat pooled within me, reverent need burning through my veins, urging him to deepen the kiss further.

And as suddenly as he initiated the kiss, he pulled back with a smirk. “See you soon, little Shadowsinger.” and winnowed away.

————————————-

Tags: @b0xerdancer-writes @myheartfollower @ang-taylorsversion @acotarobsessed @uniquecolorwizard @justasillylittlegoofyguy @thelov3lybookworm @starryhiraeth @5moremin @azrielsmate3 @coolepowersthings @isa1b2h3 @inloveallthetime @julesofvolterra @deeshag @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @courtofbatboydreams

Totally forgot to add the tags when I first posted this (I was half-asleep) Sorry!!

[krowlovesinazuma]

Hello ! How’s your day today?

How would Kuki Shinobu react if she is your favourite character and how far would the other girls like Yae and Sara go to separate the two of you?

College's getting tricky, but I'm managing! Definitely affords less free time though...

Scenario: How it is to be your favorite

Characters: Kuki Shinobu, Others

Let's be frank, Kuki never expected to be something special. If Inazuma as a whole was favored by you, in her eyes she was simply a cog that had helped the process, nothing more, not even as you took her in trips way more than others...

After a while, she couldn't help but get a suspicion, even before you entered the world, but it felt wild to her, too wild to be true, especially considering who her competition was. She decided to play it safe and just think of it as a wishful dream...

She already had a lot on her plate from her day to day life even without your influence, so needing to adhere to your expectations on top of all of that couldn't help but stress her out, even if she did enjoy the trips out of Inazuma.

So when you come down to personality greet her with eyes that show clear fascination, she doesn't know what to feel. She feels so many emotions, both good and bad, at once! She may need a moment to take it in...

With the Arataki gang being as loud as they are, she has no chance of keeping this under wraps in the long term, and just imagining the reaction of the other influential people in Inazuma frankly scared her. This was the creator she was talking about!

She really didn't know what to expect when you began to ask for her presence whenever you caught sight of her, but she couldn't deny that she always ended up enjoying it, even past all the stuff that worried her before. She was right to assume that your presence was radiant.

Even if your trips together are more geared towards relaxation, she's grateful whenever you spend some time of your day with her. It might take her some time to get used to, but after doing it once, she can't help but want more...

She really doesn't need much to be happy, but whatever extra effort you put into it will be appreciated! It doesn't have to be anywhere near perfect to satisfy her, just make sure to spend time with her and all will be alright.

It's hard to tell how would the rest respond to you having a favorite. It would involve a lot of inner conflict though, that's for sure. For some more than others, but all of them to a certain degree, even before you appear in their world.

Of course, some are just happy to be there, and be acknowledged. Yoimiya, and Kirara, for example, are more than happy to accompany you, even if they may not be the stars in your eyes, and wouldn't do much to change things.

Others would similarly listen to your wishes, but have faint, fleeting wishes to be a little more special. Ayaka and Kokomi, for example, may have more selfish wishes, but wouldn't act according to them, especially not against your wishes.

But for the others? Things start to get more complicated. Characters like Ei, Miko, Sara and Chiori understand when they aren't the most beloved, and who is above them. And a such, their actions can be a bit less compliant.

Sara and Ei aren't as unrestrained, however, and they know how to compromise and plan without risks. They wouldn't challenge your love directly, but would be constantly thinking of plans to change it. Maybe showing off their potential, or giving you more attention...

If you arrive, they're definitely going to suffer some more inner conflict. You're right there, they could do something far greater to capture you, but they shouldn't disturb you like that, it wouldn't end up well. They can't help but think of more schemes however.

Miko and Chiori? Now that's definitely a bit trickier to handle. These two don't have anywhere near as much restraint, not with their actions, and neither with their words. They will make their attempts to make you appreciate them obvious and bold.

It only gets worse when you're physically there with them, as they have more opportunities to try and take your attention away. Presents, sweet words, companionship, they'll try many things without directly admitting their desire to become more favored.

[caroldantops]

like a stray to the arms that were open

ship: dark!wanda maximoff x fem!reader; dark(ish)!valkyrie x fem!reader

summary/request:  wanda needs a safe place for her and her pet to stay. valkyrie comes up with a compromise. for @maximotts

word count: 1.9k

warnings: smut (18+), dom!wanda, dom!valkyrie, sub!reader, dark themes (kidnapping, brainwashing), very light pet play (just the term pet and collaring), free use, fingering, overstimulation

masterlist | ao3 link

"Enter." 

Valkyrie absentmindedly sharpens her dagger, not caring about the mess that accumulates on her desk. She watches the cloaked figure move into the room carefully, each step echoing across the tiles. You follow close behind, a shimmering red trail of light linking your bound wrists and the collar around your neck to your owner. You're dressed in a very plain, but delicate light pink silk garment that hits you just at mid-thigh. The two of you together are a stark contrast, but it's rather fitting, Valkyrie thinks. 

"Thank you for meeting with me, your majesty."

"Save your formalities, Wanda," Valkyrie rests her dagger on the table and kicks up her feet, resting her hands folded together on her abdomen. "Or should I say, Scarlet Witch?" 

"Well, since we're dropping the formalities, Wanda is just fine." The king gestures to the seats in front of her desk. Wanda takes one of them, and you remain standing, frozen as you wait for permission. Valkyrie watches you carefully, your gaze set hard on the handcrafted tiles beneath your bare feet. She bets you're freezing in the Nordic air, her raging fireplace at the back of her office doing little to soothe your bare skin. 

But you don't complain. You don't even shiver. 

You've been told to keep quiet and still and wait for your orders, so you do. 

Valkyrie can imagine a laundry list of ways she'd like to test that obedience. 

"Kneel," Wanda finally commands. You drop to the floor, kneeling silently beside her. She rewards you with a gentle stroke along the back of your neck, silent code for good girl. 

"So, what brings you to my neck of the woods, witchy?" 

You can feel Wanda's energy radiating off of her, your body and mind deeply in tune with your own by this point, and you can tell she doesn't appreciate the nickname. But, she's here to ask a favor, so she does not take the time to argue about it. 

"I've come to ask if you would be able to provide a safe place to stay. I have been...forced to find somewhere where I can keep a low profile." 

"This about the whole New Jersey situation?" Valkyrie raises an eyebrow. She knows little about Wanda, mainly from Thor, but a certain sorcerer won't stop contacting her with updates on "multiversal threats" as if she has time to give a shit about that. 

"Partially. And some events after that." You see Wanda tap her Darkhold stained fingers against her thigh. A few moments of silence pass as Valkyrie thinks. You dare dart your eyes upwards to see her for briefly, her eyebrows furrowed deep in contemplation. 

"Well, y'see you're putting me in a bit of a dicey situation," Valkyrie sighs dramatically, like she's not plagued by the thought, but rather ready to bargain. "How am I gonna be sure that you're not gonna hold New Asgard hostage?"

"I have no intentions of doing that, Valkyrie," Wanda answers firmly. "What I had there I no longer have. There's no reason to repeat it." 

"Hm. I believe you, y'know, I do. But if word gets out around town that I'm helping harbor a witch on the run, my people might not be very fond of that." The magic chain attached to your collar shifts, tugging slightly as the tension in Wanda's body grows. You squeak at the pressure, and she shoots you a look. Valkyrie also looks back down at you. "Y'know, you haven't properly introduced me to this one." 

"This is my pet," Wanda answers, resting a hand on your head. You take this as cue to meet Valkyrie’s intense gaze over the edge of her intricately carved desk. She leans over out of her chair to see you better, and you shrink a bit under the attention. “In my…cross universe excursions, I found her all alone, just waiting for someone to come along and take care of her. So, I did.”

You lean into Wanda’s touch as she pets you. She wasn’t lying. At least, as far as you remember. She’s flushed out the hard parts, the parts that she didn’t want your sweet little mind plagued with. You didn’t need to remember that you had another Wanda at one point, one who left you for a variant of the man that Wanda thought she wanted back so desperately. 

Lost and alone, desperate for your Wanda to come back. She never would, your new Wanda had told you when she yanked you from your universe, bringing you back to a secluded house in a withering forest. She terrified you, you had no idea what it was that she wanted with you - whenever you asked, all she replied was, “You.” 

Wanda turned you into her prized pet, got rid of all those early memories that were holding you back from being as compliant and obedient as she needed. Every waking moment of your current existence was dedicated to pleasing her. And hers was now dedicated to keeping you safe. 

“Interesting,” Valkyrie hums, sizing you and Wanda up. You can see the gears turning in her head, and you know that there’s no doubt that Wanda is peeking into the King’s mind. But, she doesn’t say anything, just waits for her to bring the thoughts up, which of course, Valkyrie does. “I think that I can manage to house you without raising any suspicions, witch. But you’ve got to sweeten the pot for me.” 

“Just say what you want already,” Wanda says, face stoic. 

“I let you live here, and you - ” Valkyrie points teasingly at Wanda. “ - let me play with your little pet here. Whenever I want.”

 You can’t help but dart your eyes up to your owner. Wanda shows no signs of emotion on her face, not allowing you or Valkyrie to get any sense of where her head is at. Your body shivers at the idea of Valkyrie toying with you. Wanda doesn’t miss it, tugging the magic leash and making you squeak again. 

“I scratch your back, you scratch mine, yeah?” Valkyrie chuckles as Wanda continues to sit in silence. 

“Angel,” Wanda speaks to you. You perk up at her acknowledgement. “You would do anything I asked of you, right? Because you’re my good girl?” 

“Yes, mommy,” you answer with no hesitation. 

Wanda nods, like she knew the answer anyway. Or rather, would’ve decided despite your response. She turns back to Valkyrie. 

“Deal. As long as I’m present.” 

“Course, wouldn’t want me to snatch her away from ya,” Valkyrie grins, offering her hand across the table as if she’s just secured a fancy business deal. Wanda can’t help but roll her eyes as she shakes it. “Can’t wait to break her in. Actually, why even wait?” 

“You’re cashing in already?” 

“I did say whenever I want, didn’t I?” 

“You did,” Wanda breaks the magic tethering you to her. You look up for her guidance of what you’re supposed to do, but you don’t have to sit wondering long. Valkyrie comes around the table and lifts you off the ground with no effort at all, tugging you to bend over the side of the table. 

“C’mon, cupcake, gotta give your mommy a nice view huh?” Valkyrie whispers in your ear as she runs her hands up your bare thighs. She leans away from you to push your slip up over your ass and is pleased to see you’re completely bare underneath. “Wanda trying to freeze you in this weather, love? Don’t worry, I’ll warm you up in no time.”

You’re putty in her hands as she kisses up your spine, leaving small bites along the way that make you squirm against her hold. You feel her laugh against your skin as you wiggle, murmuring to herself how pretty you’re gonna look all bruised up. 

“You like that, baby? You like my mouth on you?” 

Your eyes dart to Wanda yet again. “Answer her, sweetheart. You can speak if she addresses you.” 

“Yes…” You’re unsure of how to address the woman kneeling down so she’s face level with your already dripping cunt, and her breath against you makes it even harder to think. 

“Hm, I think if you have a mommy already, only seems natural you call me daddy, hm?” Valkyrie licks a long stripe through your folds. You moan and buck against her face, her nose nudging your clit as you do. “Or, my king will also do.” 

“Hungry for power much?” Wanda raises an eyebrow. She’s leaned back casually in the plush chair, watching Valkyrie work her pet as if she’s been doing this for years. 

“Like you can talk,” Valkyrie shoots back before diving back into your waiting pussy. “Fuck, she’s delicious.” 

“She is, isn’t she?” Wanda’s voice betrays her, that little arousal filled rasp that you’re so used to coming out as she shifts in her seat. 

“Mm, I know why you wanted to keep her so bad.” 

You feel Valkyrie stroke her fingers along your folds as she takes a break licking you to mark up your thighs. Her rough fingertips rub your clit and dip into your hole teasingly. You can’t help pushing back against her hand, which prompts her to deliver a swift smack to your core. Sharp heat pulses through your cunt as she does, and you cry out for Wanda automatically. 

“Behave, baby,” Wanda responds to your sob. 

“Need more,” you whine. 

“Greedy little thing, are we?” Valkyrie’s fingers return to lazily teasing your clit, now throbbing and swollen. “I’m being so nice to you, and you complain about needing more?” 

“No, no, ‘m sorry,” you cry. “I’ll be good.” 

“Mm, bet you will. Bet your mommy keeps you in line, huh?” Valkyrie rewards your submission with three fingers in your aching cunt. You arch against her, pushing your hips back to meet her deep thrusts. “That’s right, baby, fuck yourself on my fingers. Feels so good, doesn’t it? God, if I’d known I would have a perfect pet bent over my desk today I would’ve brought my strap to work.” 

“She’d love that,” Wanda says. “Loves being filled up so much. Loves being bred too.” 

“Oh yeah?” Valkyrie grins and stands up, fingers never slowing their thrusts as she presses herself against your back. She leans down beside your ear and whispers, “You like being filled up with cum, huh baby? Want me to stuff that tight little pussy full?” 

“Y-yes, please.” 

“Course you do, ‘cuz you’re nothing but a desperate slut. Only desperate sluts let strangers fuck them in front of their mommies.” You can barely respond with more than a whine, but that doesn’t matter to Valkyrie. She feels you clenching around her fingers, and curls them just right against your sensitive spot, ripping a raspy moan from your throat. “There you are baby, cum for me. Show your mommy how good I fuck you.” 

You can feel a surge of wetness gush past Valkyrie’s fingers as she keeps fucking you through your orgasm, uncaring as you go completely limp on her desk. You expect her to pull out soon, but instead you feel another finger pushing inside of your spent hole. Dizzy with pleasure, you hardly notice as your head is lifted and placed in Wanda’s lap. She strokes your hair and shushes your whines as Valkyrie continues pounding into you, stretching you out more than Wanda ever has. 

“Be a good girl and let Valkyrie play with you, baby. She’s gonna take her fill no matter how tired you are, might as well get used to it now.” 

[aladygrieve]

Y'all know I love Tommy and I want him to stick around long-term. But you know what would be a great way to break him and Buck up, if and when it needs to happen? Buck wants kids and Tommy doesn't.

We all know how much Buck loves children, especially babies. His first big save was the baby all the way back in the pilot, and the look on his face when he delivered his biological child said it all. At this point the only coherent resolution to Buck's series-wide arc (including and especially the idea that he's "defective spare parts") is to present him with a child of his own - specifically, an infant.

Obviously he's been acting as a second dad to Christopher for years, but Chris is almost grown up now, and Buck never got the chance to know him when he was really little. That man needs to be a father, and he needs a baby.

It's looking likely at this point that Buck's endgame love interest is going to be a man, whether that's Tommy or...someone else. Maybe the friend he donated for could even be the surrogate for another biological child of his, this time one he gets to keep.

Meanwhile, Tommy is in his late 30s or early 40s, which is getting up there to start having babies. We don't know a ton about his backstory yet, but Lou has headcanoned that he had a difficult and unstable upbringing. It wouldn't be hard to build up a narrative that kids are a hard no for him.

And that's not something you can compromise on. There is no middle ground between having a child and not having one. This could bring Buck and Tommy's goals into conflict without having to put them in personal conflict - which is how most of Buck's other relationships ended. It wouldn't be Buck getting abandoned, or betrayed, or fizzling out with someone he was never that compatible with in the first place. The tension between him and Tommy would be realistic, grounded and mature. It would mark the culmination of what Buck understands as his true coming of age.

It would probably also mean he and Tommy could stay friends, something Buck's never properly done with any of his exes (I know he and Abby technically parted as friends, but in practice she was completely out of his life from the beginning).

Tommy's the perfect person for Buck to explore this new facet of himself with. Setting up having kids as a fundamental difference between them would mean what's already a beautiful depiction of Buck's first queer relationship could end on a bittersweet note without turning fully sour.

And if they do decide to set him up with Eddie, well - it's kind of perfect.

[polyamorousmood]

Hi I need some advice.

So I identify as poly even tho ive never had a poly relationship before and made that very clear to my girlfriend before we started dating. She said she was fine with it, and that we could always discuss terms when I start to like another person. We've been dating for a year, and I'm starting to like one of our mutual friends. I was excited to tell my girlfriend, but when I did she freaked out about it and said she couldn't do it. Because she was freaking out, I said it was OK and agreed to be in a mono relationship (I often will say anything to get someone to calm down, and I know that's a flaw of mine which is why I was open about everything before anything was at stake). I don't think I am OK with it, but they way she spoke about it sounds like she won't be convinced either.

I feel like I was lied to? And now I'm in this situation I didn't want, but I don't want to break up with her because I do love her. Functionally our relationship is the same as it always was so maybe I can handle it, but I just don't understand why she would have such a negative reaction when she seemed completely OK with it at the beginning.

I mean... maybe she said it was okay when it wasn't for a similar reason you did? Because she wanted to make you happy more than she wanted to dig into the issue? While I understand this probably felt like a major gut-punch after you made a point to be open about it, it seems to me unfair you'd hold her to a higher standard than you're holding yourself now wrt voicing what you'd be okay with.

Anyway, TL;DR: I think y'all both need to "come to Jesus."

What do I mean by that.

You need the classic Uncle Iroh moment

And it really, really fucking sucks, but you both will have to consider if the life you want -- poly for you, monog for her -- is feasible with each other. I'm sorry, I know it hurts even to think about, but even if everything gets worked out, you will have to think about the possibility it won't first.

First, you're going to have to bring it up again, and explain its importance, and explain your confusion, and acknowledge this is clearly difficult for her. I think a strong possibility is that she's okay with you dating someone else, but not someone she knows. It being her friend may be the sticking point! I've found a lot of people don't consider that a possibility until they're confronted with it, and it drudges up a lot of bad feelings and anxieties that you "always really wanted them and not me," so that's worth investigating.

... Its also really possible she never gave it a ton of thought and assumed it was never really gonna happen🫤. Its also possible your timing was just shit in a way you're not mentioning (maybe didn't even think of!) like, if you mentioned it a week after y'all Had A Talk™️about her feeling really insecure lately, I can see how that could cause her some panic. You are just going to have to grit your teeth and talk🗣️. It is the ONLY path forward that has a chance of everyone feeling fulfilled. Which to me at least, makes it the only path forward, period ⏺️ It sucks. Its hard. You'd rather saw off your toes.

But here's the secret -> people regret more the things they didn't do than the things they did do. A life spent wondering is generally much harder than anything else.

So if after you talk to her, she does have a problem with polyamory, there are only a few options for how this shakes out:

You never get the polyamory. Either because you kept your mouth shut 🙊 or because you asked and it was clearly never going to be okay with her. You stay with her forever and cut off this desire of yours to make her happy. Most poly people find this a very constricted existence.

She consents to polyamory even though she doesn't like having to share you. You guys broker some sort of compromise. Maybe she comes around, but maybe its always a sore spot, and she always feels like she's settling for half a relationship.🌗

You break up💔. Maybe now, maybe after years of trying and failing to do one or both of the first two options.

That's all there is. There's room within those categories, of course, but every outcome is one of those three. Give each of them their fair consideration, because there are some major, long-term pros and cons with each of them, and you need to know what you're signing on for. Oh, and if you're not willing to talk about it? You're locking yourself into the first one. Maybe she's worth it to you, but if that's the choice you're making, you cannot hold that choice against her later, because she won't even have realized you made it if you don't talk about it.

And if you do broker some sort of deal, you better fasten your seatbelt. Because you will have to talk about things she's uncomfortable with very regularly. Accept that right the fuck now. You know its true. You know that even if she understands, there will be new situation after new situation you will have to go through together. And a lot of them will be hard on her. And it will be on your shoulders to see her through.

This is, without exaggeration on my part, one of the worst situations to be in ever. My heart goes out to you.💝 I hope from the depths of my soul there's some sort of misunderstanding that gets resolved without much drama, and you're all okay. I am also truly sorry if that sounded harsh, but I don't want you to waste your time looking for miracle fixes. Everything from this point on will be messy and labor-intensive, but I hope it can be a labor of love.

Wising you the strength to see yourself to a life you love 💙💖🖤

[sapphic-agent]

I realize this is a little bit of a mixed bag, so let me explain my choices a little. I tried to use characters who had a) a solid backstory/justification for their actions/ideals, b) clear goals/aspirations, c) substantial and visible development, and/or d) a clear role in the story that was well-executed.

Lady Nagant was an easy option here; her backstory perfectly explains why she ended up the way she did and her goals aligned with that backstory. The only thing I would say holds her back is her lack of influence on the overall narrative, as well as her development not holding up as well as it should have. This was in no small part due to lack of exposure

Some nitpicking aside, I do believe Toshi is a well-written character with a great backstory and solid development. But he does lose points for the Bakugou pandering. Not because I hate Bakugou, but because it compromises his role in the narrative as Izuku's mentor. His failure to address how detrimental Bakugou is to Izuku's progress undermines his development as Izuku's mentor. There were also a lot of chances for his development to be even better that just weren't taken

Iida might be an odd choice, but honestly? He has one of my favorite arcs. Where the narrative fails to address Izuku's ideals about heroism, it perfectly corrects Iida's. And unlike with most characters, Horikoshi is actually consistent about it. Iida had the second lowest rescue points in the Entrance Exam. But we see his preconceived motions about heroism challenged in the Stain arc, his only saving grace being that his friends were determined to save him first and foremost. Then in the PLA War, he's the one who runs to aid Izuku and Shoto first. He's also the one to reach out and get through to Izuku during the Dark Hero Arc (yes, I know this scene is controversial but ignoring Bakugou's involvement, Iida comes off looking the best in terms of saving Izuku). The only thing holding his development back is lack of exposure and attention. I'm being so serious when I say he could have been the best character in MHA if Horikoshi had put a little more effort into him

Monoma is probably my oddest choice. But for what he is, he fills his role pretty damn well. He's an antagonistic jerk whose role in the story was primarily to give 1A a hard time. This wasn't changed about him either, but we also saw other facets to him. Instead of negating how "awful" he was, we saw other sides of him in addition to it. One thing I do have an issue with is that it feels like Horikoshi's insistence on making him overtly antagonistic had to do with how he criticized Bakugou. It seems like he made him overly spiteful, as Horikoshi tends to do with people who don't kiss Bakugou's ass

Anyway, those are the four I can think of off the top of my head. I'm not snubbing anyone who isn't on this poll, I probably just couldn't think of them at the time

[wellwhatnowlove]

“He looks down at his feet, searching for words. When he finds them, he looks up at me with the raw emotion of his father, but without the anger or the pain. “Mother, your inheritance was guilt. Father’s was surrender. Because of you, because of Father, mine is struggle. That is better than guilt. It is better than surrender. I do not blame you. I thank you. You never pretended the world wasn’t broken, even when a broken world favored you.”

Light Bringer, pg.144

I GOT TO THINKIN TODAY ABOUT WHAT PAX SAID ABOUT HIS PARENTS’ INHERITANCE AND I HAD A REVELATION. okay sorry VERY LONG WINDED ESSAY BELOW. (Light Bringer spoilers too)

If Darrow’s inheritance has always been surrender and Virginia’s has always been guilt, then Light Bringer is a study in how they’ve swapped those burdens, and both grew immensely because of it. Virginia is forced to face the reality of surrender to keep Mars from falling. She must learn to sacrifice lives on an unimaginable scale. She literally has to surrender Phobos in order to hold Mars and save lives from a bloody battle over pride. She routinely seeks out the injured and dying to confront those she sacrifices. It’s heart breaking and hard to read at times, but not once did she not feel like the character we grew to love. She stays true to herself while mentioning multiple times that she now understands Darrow’s plight more than ever from the last decade.

Then on the flip side, Darrow is forced to reckon with his insurmountable guilt when he is put on trial before the daughters in the rim to answer for betraying them in order to secure a victory for the core rising/republic. He talks about how that guilt put a wedge between him and his family. That guilt made him feel unworthy of love, and, therefore, unable to properly express his love to those he would give everything for. This mirrors Virginia’s past struggle with one particularly potent example being her inability to believe that Darrow could love her after he reveals his true identity as a red in the tunnel under Lykos at the end of Golden Son. She says

“They are my family!” she shouts, face collapsing into grief. “My father hanged your wife. He hanged her. How can you even look at me?”

I think it’s this guilt (and probably some feelings of utter betrayal, panic, and overwhelm) that led her to leave Darrow in that tunnel and indirectly led him into the Jackal’s trap. Which I’m sure she also feels immense guilt for. But I think a large part of her journey off page and into morning star is her coming to terms with that guilt. In confronting it she learns to be vulnerable with Darrow again and comes to accept that he loves her despite the insane complexity of their history. This culminating with her leaning into her understanding of her part in the society and realizing that it puts her in a place to make a true change. All of this accomplished with an education in immense humility, flexibility, and compromise. Which is the lesson Darrow grapples with and I think truly leans into throughout this book. In a way, he is forced to reckon with how his guilt drove him away from Virginia and Pax and even veered him away from Eo’s dream.

I think on a character based level, this will exponentially strengthen their relationship when (please please Pierce) they finally reunite, and will make them a more formidable pair than even before. They now understand each others struggles in such intimate ways that idk if anyone can stop these two.

Then, on a plot based level it speaks to the larger themes of resilience, understanding and the fight for humanity. Virginia finds strength in surrender and Darrow finds redemption in humility and compromise. 

Then, add in some struggle, grit and pixie dust (and a cool head tattoo I guess. WE SEE YOU OVER THERE PAX AKA ADEPT AUGUSTUS. HELL YEAH KEEP IT UP BABY WOO) and the rising might just have a true shot. Not only at victory, but at redemption and continued effort in the name of what is just and good.

[frasier-crane-style]

Very early on in this movie, hero Christian Grey gives da chick the standard romantic leading man speech about how he's bad news--a loner, Dottie, a rebel--and she should still clear of him. At this point, they've gone out to get coffee one time and he's saved her from a careening bike messenger. I know it must be exciting to tell a lady that she should stay away from your twisted mind for her own feminine good, but dude, save it for at least the second date.

This came to Netflix, so I figured I might as well give a shot. It's a failure, obviously, but it's an interesting failure. There are talented people both on screen and behind the scenes, and it looks like a movie, but all their efforts amount to putting lipstick on a pig. Would it be unfairly inside-baseball to repeat the reports of a troubled production, with the author insisting on an adaptation that was too faithful for its own good?

Try not to do a shot every time heroine Anastasia Steele* extravagantly bites her lower lip in lust.

(how come Dakota Johnson's character name in this is way more silly than the name of the literal superhero she played?)

To be fair to the movie, I've seen a ton of waggish assholes like, well, me, declare that this movie is a camp classic of unintended hilarity and guys, c'mon. There's no way they didn't intend "What are buttplugs?" as a laughline.

In fact, with Dakota Johnson's sitcom star comedic timing and winsome charm, watching this movie is a bit like finding a coke-begotten relic of the 80s where some madman paired Meg Ryan and Rutger Hauer (it doesn't help that, as "Mr. Grey," they cast an actor that plays serial killers about as often as heartthrobs).

I'm making this story sound interesting, but it's not able to succeed on its own terms, as whenever it tries to get serious, the drama runs headlong into a howler of a line that must be verboten from the books. "I'm fifty shades of fucked up!" Christian groans at one point.

"I don't make love. I fuck. Hard," is another line that even Sir Michael Caine couldn't get into working order.

It's a shame, because there's no real reason a modern-day gothic romance can't work. Sure, there's no real plot to the thing besides Ana and Christian's doomed/not-so-doomed romance, but there are worse foundations for a movie than a relationship where the guy wants to hurt his lady love as much as romance her. It's fucked up, but imagine what a Cronenberg or Verhoeven could do with the assignment. Well, full frontal, probably.

(The compromise to keep Jamie Dornan from spending a third of the movie displaying the status of his circumcision is that he does most every sex scene in a worn pair of jeans. I probably should've been too stunned by his abs to wonder at this, but dude's a billionaire. Is he doing yardwork in those jeans? Home repair? Or have they gotten all the holes in them purely from screwing? Man, that guy does fuck. Hard.)

You know, given that bondage is a pretty common fetish, you'd think Christian Grey--an ubersexy twenty-something billionaire--would be able to find a woman who's into, y'know, all that--especially since his wildest antics are a little whipping and possible anal fisting.

I know there'd be no story if he didn't immediately fall in love with Anastasia Steele (snicker) and if she wasn't only putting up with the bondage to get the package deal. Still, that is a pretty contrived starting point, isn't it? At least Team Edward has the excuse of that whole 'my own personal brand of heroin' thing.

[sortasirius]

I’ve been kinda thinking about the finale (as if I ever do anything else) and I have a sort of theory on how it could all play out.

Most of this is spec, some of it is my writer brain, so with that what you will lmao.

With what the 911 on ABC posted on Instagram today, I think it’s fair enough to assume that the councilwoman who was the mother to that guy is about to get involved. That whole thing was kind of just brushed off, and the idea of revenge is being repeatedly being brought up (Amir, even the idea of Doug sort of enacting revenge on Chim while he’s hallucinating), along with the theme of loss and grief (Eddie’s current mess, Amir…again).

I’ve seen several theories saying that she would try to stop Hen and Karen from adopting Mara, and while I can see what they’re saying, I actually think it’s more along the lines of her preventing Hen from being interim captain.

We know something is going to happen to Bobby, with all the stills and bts in the hospital, including the one with the whiteboard that says “R. Nash” on it. And if Bobby can’t act as captain, the usual replacement is Hen, but if Hen is in the midst of this, and the entire 118 is caught up I think it’s plausible (especially with Ryan talking about how Eddie is “isolated” next season) that the councilwoman will basically fight to split them up, citing past cases and insinuating they are dangerous or unfit as a unit. The LAFD brass won’t want to get in a fight with city council and will separate them but won’t fire them. (A compromise they’ll think is good, but we know is terrible).

I personally think that Buck will be left at the 118. With Captain Gerrard. I really get the feeling that the councilwoman may know him and put him back in place there even in spite of his past.

If we think about Buck’s worst nightmare (being abandoned by those he loves) it fits perfectly. Being by himself in his house but without his family, with a new captain that he knows Hen, Chim, and Tommy hated. That’s the worst possibility for him. Throw in a potential fight with Eddie and you have the perfect storm for Buck, something that would be untenable for him long term.

Relationship-wise, I have a couple different thoughts. Either Gerrard being at the 118 brings Tommy and Buck closer together, because Tommy understands what an awful captain Gerrard is and is a shoulder to lean on for him while he has to deal with it (this is preferable and what I want lol).

Or, as much as I hate to say it, it could lead to a distance between him and Tommy, because Tommy doesn’t want to be around Gerrard (don’t blame him) and he can’t be there for Buck because he’s afraid of turning back into the person he tried so hard to escape.

And I don’t think we’d start season 8 with everyone back together. With 18 episodes (bless) they have time to draw out plotlines that they haven’t been able to this season.

If, as I fervently hope, Bobby makes a recovery from whatever happens to him, he’ll have to go through the same retraining that Buck did when he was crushed by the ladder, which would be an interesting contrast for him to be put in those shoes, maybe desperate to get back out to the field but not being cleared, Athena being worried about him the same way he was worried about her after she was attacked, all that.

I think Hen’s big conflict would be that she feels like them being separated his her fault, since she didn’t force the guy to get care. She would be okay in another house, but potentially feel like she’s starting over, just like with medical school.

For Chim, I think his biggest thing would be taken out of the 118, maybe he would be assigned to the 133 as an extra gut punch since it was Kevin’s house? I think there’s something interesting there.

And Eddie. Eddie, who is taking doppelgänger Kim out in public, while bringing his girlfriend to the medal ceremony. Something is coming here, this situation is precarious at best. I highly doubt he will still be with Marisol by the end of the season. At the same time, I don’t think he’s going to be with Kim either. With this photo, it could be that Chris finds out about Kim or something like that. If I had to guess, I would say that Eddie and Marisol are done by the end of 7x09.

I could also potentially see Eddie being left at the 118 and Buck transferring to air support with Tommy, which could be interesting since Eddie was the one to leave last time. But for angst points, I think leaving Buck alone in his house which is suddenly no longer home, but hostile? I would eat that up.

Overall, with all those happy stills we got today, juxtaposed by the way press is talking about the screeners, I would say we’re in for a rough couple of episodes and a rough hiatus too.

[our-t4t-experience]

hi Evan! Big fan of what you do on your page. I very recently got a boyfriend who is also a trans man. Do you maybe have any tips on how I can make this relationship last more than a month? (Knowing my luck…)

-🦦(if I ask anything else)

there are some things that are in your control and some things that are out of them. its worth mentioning that if you have been abused before, its more likely that you will either perpetrate those behaviors, or on the flip side, allow people to perpetrate those behaviors against you

in my experience i have had a lot of unstable relationships where the instability wasnt necessarily caused by me (or me alone) as much as it was the other person being abusive to me and me letting it happen

so this advice IS coming from a place of "ive been abused," if this isnt applicable, my apologies

-communication is very important and remembering that people communicate in different (and sometimes incompatible) ways is also very important. you may be extremely direct and dating someone whos a little sensitive. you may want to de escalate an argument by being by yourself and they may want to talk about it. its important to be able to compromise sometimes and for them to compromise sometimes if your communication styles arent aligned. my girlfriend has to be very direct with me because shes learned that while we're both southern and she has learned to approach boundaries and conflict in a passive, sugar coating way, because im autistic, that approach doesnt work, for example

-how do you express love? how does your partner express love? its important to show your love in a way that is fulfilling to you, but its also important to show your love in a way that your partner receives it. ive heard mixed things about the "5 love languages" test but honestly i did the test and it was decently accurate and may be a good start, its also worth noting that neurodivergent people may also express love in different ways than the "norm"

-never stop dating your partner. yall like flowers? get each other flowers! go on cute dates! send each other memes that make you think of the other person! never stopping trying to impress your partner can make for a more fulfilling and exciting long term relationship

-time together, especially later in your relationship, is super important. distance can make the heart grow fonder (trust me, we're long distance lol) but you dont want to be away from them all the time. work and family obligations can make that hard, but having time to yourselves is important, me and caspian sleep together on the phone every night, and thats one of my favorite parts of the day

-specifically trans advice, but your trans partners transition should be a celebration. ive heard from one trans man that you should be responding to your loved ones transition like you would if someone was having a planned and wanted baby, and thats good advice. get excited! get funny with it! get romantic with it! my girlfriends excited for me to get top surgery and that makes me feel very good about my transition

(past this is longer term advice)

-i dont usually like those "3 weeks 3 months 1 year" rule stuff, but in my experience, you can usually tell if youre compatible with someone by 3 months. this is enough time for the "honeymoon phase" to chill out a bit and youre more receptive to their flaws. by some point you should be able to know if these flaws are a dealbreaker (unless youre like me and have a fawn instinct lol), and ive also found that i can tell when a relationship is unhealthy USUALLY by around 3 months, at least in my subconscious

-i knew i wanted to marry caspian by 6 months of us being together, and we're not getting married right now for a couple different reasons mostly boiling down to we're just not ready yet, but id recommend waiting 6 months before you start thinking seriously about a future with this person

-a rule ive had for a long time regarding marriage with anyone is that i want to have lived with them for a full year before we get engaged. i dont live with my girlfriend and wont until probably the end of this year (our 7 months os tomorrow!) but i have lived with a partner and have found that you can find out a lot about a person by living with them for an extended period of time

if i missed anything lmk, anyone else is also free to give advice in the comments (:

[bicokun]

It’s such a relief hearing about Biden dropping out of the race. His domestic policy has been pretty decent, despite the clear capitulations to Republicans and conservative Democrats he made early on in his term. His support for Israel honestly doomed his electoral chances, though, as there are some evils many people just aren’t going to be able to bring themselves to vote for, no matter how much greater the evil the other viable alternative is. It’s like asking people to vote for being shot in the face or being drowned, even if you can argue one mode of death would be worse, some people just aren’t going to be too excited to vote for either option. His debate performance was honestly just icing on the cake, making it clear even to the Vote Blue No Matter Who diehards that even if they thought his genocide support would fade out of the public’s consciousness by November, he just wouldn’t be able to pull off a successful campaign regardless.

It’s very probably Harris will replace him given she’s officially on the same ticket and is literally there to replace him in the case of him not being able to fulfill his duties. She can continue the same campaign with the same people and treasury with no drawbacks due to having to create a new organization from scratch or having to use that campaign money indirectly through a SuperPAC. And as many issues as she also had as a candidate, I can actually justify to myself voting for her, while I was having a very hard time coming to terms with voting for somebody like Biden. Yes, she was part of the administration, but she signaled early on that she did not want to support Israel’s genocide like Biden does, and actually empathized with Palestinians and anti-genocide protestors that we just never saw Biden do. And for domestic policy, I just don’t see her being less progressive than Biden. Biden’s palatability to conservatives has always been a bit of a delusion, too. This isn’t the late 1900s anymore, and Biden’s insistence on rolling out the gate with conservative compromises doesn’t get him anything but conservatives deciding to paint his moderate position as the extreme left so they can get moderates on board with what would have otherwise been an extreme right proposal. Harris has always been a lot more shrewd and—fittingly—prosecutorial about her fight against Republicans which I think will fit better. If VP Harris ends up just taking over the nomination for president, I have no doubt that the outcome will at least be better than what we would have gotten from the Biden nomination.

[funnycreatortimetravel]

So if you Homura in the role of Frisk in UT, how do you think she'd get along with most of the cast and what sort of ending do you think she'd get first time around?

That's a really interesting thought piece! Considering Homura's character, I really feel like she'd be attached to Toriel the most for obvious reasons.

Flowey would probably die the second he tries some shit, considering he's just a more cruel Incubators and Homura had no problem killing him. I also see her listening to Flowey with a huge grain of salt once she realizes killing him is pointless just to get a better understanding of determination powers and the world of Undertale, but largely, she'd view Flowey as a crueler version of Kyubey and would either kill him or threaten him into telling her what she wants to know. She wouldn't take any crap from him. I also feel like, in a weird, disconnected way, she finds herself almost understanding Flowey once she realizes the truth about him and his past.

Toriel is an honest, motherly person, just like Mami, but unlike Mami, Toriel is more of an adult, so it would allow Homura to have a parent in her life.

I also feel like she'd like Papyrus after realizing that he's not a threat. Like, once she realizes that Papyrus has neither bark nor bite, she'd treat him like an annoying albeit endearing brother.

In terms of Sans, I feel like she would never allow herself to be fully comfortable with him. I don't think Homura is big on humor, no matter the iteration, so his puns and pranks wouldn't be charming to him, only seen as mildly annoying. Then once she finds out he has unexplained powers + science knowledge? She would sure feel somewhat uneasy.

Alphys and Homura would be a mix of awkwardness and also feeling a sort of kinship as Homura used to be as timid and nervous as Alphys. Though she may also see her as a bit...much given her interests. I'd say Homura is fine with Alphys in small doses and would, at worse, find her too insecure to be incredibly close with.

Undyne and Homura would likely butt heads in the beginning given that Undyne is very fiery and impatient whereas Homura is mostly logical and will try to compromise. The main issue, of course, is that Undyne, unlike Kyoko who while acting like her, is way easier to convince, Undyne is very hard to compromise with once she has her heart set. I see Homura either killing or seriously injuring Undyne during her neutral boss battle once she realizes that Undyne only wants to kill her.

As for Mettaton and Muffet, she'd likely just find them conceited and annoying obstacles, and once they'd calm down after she beat them, she'd probably want to ignore them/avoid them.

Asgore, Homura would likely sense that he doesn't want to do this and would either try to compromise or kill him without any malice just to leave. Knowing Homura, she'd attempt to be logical and get Asgore to come to his senses. I see their fight going one of two ways, Homura either killing him and Asgore being fine with it, or Asgore coming to his senses once he realizes Homura is right.

Overall, I see Homura doing a neutral run her first time. She would probably kill Flowey the second he pulls his BS, but I don't see her ever killing Toriel on accident since she knows that Toriel only wants the best for her. She'd probably kill a few monsters in the Ruins out of self-defense purely, but for the more pathetic ones like the bugs and some of the less sentient frogs, she'd ignore/spare them.

She'd instantly be taken aback by Sans, not fully trusting him, but not being hostile either. She wouldn't avoid him, but she'd be firm around him because she doesn't know what he's fully capable of, jokes and pranks aside. I also doubt that she'd ever fight Sans since the only way to is via the genocide route, and I don't see Homura ever doing it even out of pure curiosity. She's not the type to enjoy killing, even out of just wanting to know additional information.

For Papyrus, I also don't see her killing or injuring him. She'd probably find his boss fight mildly annoying/a small obstacle, but once she realizes that he's mostly harmless and his battle is quite easy, she'd just defeat him and ignore him for the rest of the run without a second thought.

She might kill a few more monsters in Snowdin, particularly the more aggressive ones out of self defense, but she'd leave most of them alive and would just avoid them.

Once she gets to Waterfall, I see her learning to just ignore the smaller monsters from now on. She'd also find the Temmies annoying, but helpful in small doses.

Once she runs into Undyne, her first reaction would be to avoid her until it's impossible, then she would try to compromise and reason with her, and then once she realizes that it's impossible, she would injury her just enough to get her off her back without any regrets. Homura would view Undyne as someone who does what needs to be done, but too stubborn for her own good. She likely wouldn't like Undyne their first encounter.

Once she gets to Hotland, she'd ignore the guards and would only kill the really aggressive monsters found later.

For Muffet, she'd likely tell her that she never killed any spiders, and depending on if Muffet believed her, she could end the battle peacefully. However, if Muffet doesn't, I could see Homura attempting to calm her down and only doing a bit of damage until Muffet comes to realization herself.

I also think that she wouldn't have any qualms about injuring Mettaton considering he's only hurting her for views and not out of a noble pursuit like Undyne. She wouldn't even entertain his little game and would just go straight to trying to convince him that she isn't a threat, but once that proved futile, she'd trash his robot body and wouldn't feel bad afterward since she knew he was a ghost.

I think once Alphys reveals that it was her behind Mettaton's antics, Homura would initially be a little angry, but after some time, she'd forgive her or at least wouldn't be mad anymore once she hears that Alphys only wanted Homura to think she was cool and didn't intend for her to be hurt.

Like I said for Asgore, she'd understand why he did what he did, but she would still defend herself and Asgore would understand. She would end up killing him/having him killed by Flowey since she's doing the neutral route.

She'd find the Flowey boss fight jarring at first, but she would quickly learn there's a method to his madness and dispose of him.

She'd likely end up getting either the Undyne Queen ending or the Papyrus king ending, but once Sans calls her and Flowey tells her she could get a better ending, she'd likely do a Pacifist route and would befriend Asriel once she understands what he went through.

In terms of closeness, she'd likely remain the closest to Toriel and Asriel, and the furtherest from Undyne and Mettaton. Sans she'd be mostly neutral about and Papyrus she'd find mildly annoying but ultimately harmless.

However, during the Pacifist ending, she'd probably choose to go her own way rather than stay with Toriel.