#and she knows how much i hate that i'm studying pharmacy like it's the no.1 cause of me hating the direction in which my life is going

[raininyourblackeyes]

My cousin, a published writer, a well-known poet in my country and a literature professor, for whom I've always been no.1 support ever since her first attempts at writing in high school, told me that I must stop writing as a hobby because that's her thing and since I'm writing fantasy mostly my writing could never have any important artistic value anyways.

[nsk96]

Rant post. Ignore this, just purging the negative thoughts that are overwhelming me at the moment.

Having another breakdown, I really wished I lived alone right now. I start APPE rotations in a few months so that means I need to get all my onboarding paperwork and vaccination stuff done by February. There's so much to do right I can't seem to focus on just one thing, much less start on anything at all right now.

And then my mom telling me about the nasty crap my dad has been doing. I mean nasty unhygienic crap that is affecting our heaths. It was so triggering at the moment that all I could think about was "I'm probably also going to have to clean the shower before I shower again." Context: my dad doesn't wash well, and from the smell and condition of the bathtub when he'd done showering, I'm certain, he's not wiping after using the toilet either. Having to clean the bathtub every time before I shower is tiring it makes me hate showering. Not to mention the smell of the cleaner also bothers my airways. It's bad enough that I have to worry about my dad tampering with my soap, face cleanser and shampoo, that I have to carry every thing with me between the bathroom and my bedroom every time I shower as well. It all makes showering a time-consuming chore. Maybe that's a contributing reason for skipping showers these days. I have a handy dandy squirt bottle I use to clean up on skip days at least. Also, whoever invented wet wipes is the best.

Just thinking about how much I could have gotten done over the winter break had I lived alone though. The days I could have had to myself instead of driving my mom around to shop for groceries. I would have been able to clean up my room (my dad was home from work for much of the holiday so that delayed a lot because there was stuff I have to hide from him of course).

Then there was Christmas eve where my mom mopped this small stretch of tile and told us to be careful around it. No more than five minutes later, I forgot about it and came around with my plate of dinner in my hand and slipped and fell, hurting my back and leg, and straining my abdominal muscles. My food fell everywhere of course. Had I lived alone, it wouldn't have happened. But also, had I had the time to get an appointment with a psychiatrist, I probably would have been diagnosed by now, and wouldn't have forgotten such an important detail in the first place. There'd likely be no attention issues then...but to have the time to get an appointment, living alone would have been ideal as well. Study time is just better when you don't have to worry about other people. Out of sight, out of mind.

Living by myself, I would be able to have a clean room for once. I wouldn't have to sleep on a bed that I'm also storing a box of cookies on just because my dad "just might poison it". Or the whole 4-tier shelf of snacks I have in my room for the same reason, along with skincare and hair care products that should be stored in the bathroom but you know...he tampers with stuff to the point we start itching or our hair starts falling out. Don't get me started on the symptoms we get when he messes with the food.

My mom's defense for me not moving out is that it's not safe and that I should save money. 1) I'd be using loan money from school. I did the math and the added amount really doesn't make much of a difference when you look at the total I'll owe from between undergrad and pharmacy school. 2) Safe? She's worried about someone hurting me over there? Someone breaking in and hurting me? What about here at home? I have to constantly worry about if the food in the fridge is safe for me to eat. I don't feel safe in my own bedroom because she's always like "he goes into your room when you're in the shower", and now I gotta wonder if he finally managed plant a hidden camera in there. I already knows he likes to record random women on the street and send it to his nephew and make disgusting comments about them. I know he always wanted to record my mom in sexual ways. And he for sure knew what my brother was doing to me when I was 5 years old. At 18, my dad even tried to record me sucking suggestively on a lollipop (I didn't realize I was eating it weird. It was family movie night and I was distracted). I will never forget the night how furious he got when he found out I lock my bedroom door when I go to sleep. It haunts me. And now, my mom has to constantly remind me not to fall asleep on the chair in the living room when she's not out there because I have to worry about my dad r*ping me like he has her when she was asleep.

Over winter break, there was one instance I couldn't help it. We finished family movie night (in living room) and my mom was going into the shower. She made sure I was awake before walking away but I was so tired my eyes closed without me realizing. I was still conscious at least but only of my body and some sounds around me. I couldn't move or open my eyes. I felt myself drifting off but I was able to gain the strength to pull myself out of it. I hear my dad using the hand-held muscle massager to massage (but I didn't know what) and then I heard his footsteps getting closer. Maybe it was nothing but I opened my eyes a little and saw he had the massager by his crotch and he was walking towards me. At the same time, my mom came out to check up on me once more before going into the shower and when she showed up, my dad stopped walking and kinda jumped up like he was up to no good, I don't know if I was seeing correctly, but it was like he then quickly shifted the massager to the top of his thigh and told her that he had a leg cramp when she decided to ask him what's wrong. It was just so weird, I wasn't sure if I saw this whole situation correctly. He spent quite some time to work out the "cramp" on the exercise equipment so I don't know...maybe I was being paranoid. But that moment just keeps replaying in my mind and still feels so unsettling as much as it did that night.

Now I'm really worried about starting rotations. I'm not sure my mom plans on divorcing him any time soon. I told her she needs to start planning and that we can't be moving while I do residency. It's now or never. But honestly, it's probably too late for that because I'm way too busy for all that now. I got 4 quizzes due this week and 2 assignments, plus lectures to catch up on. And now onboarding to worry about. Last semester was the best time to initiate my plan, which was to get the apartment so we'd have a place to run to (because her plan was to leave him after I graduate pharmacy school) but she squandered it, quite possibly dooming the both of us.

The astrologer she recommended I get a reading from two years ago said that the people who think they know what's best for me will only bring me down to their level. He also said that I can't live with family because they will always be a source of grief for me. It's all true, and I probably didn't need an astrologer to tell me that, but it's kind of funny when someone outside of your family and life, who knows nothing about you, says it.

I feel it all just building up again, but I bet in a couple months when I have another emotional breakdown, my mom will once again think it came out of no where like she did the other times. And by emotional breakdown, I mean coming home crying and freaking out, avoiding her, avoiding all triggering conversation by either not talking or just walking away, and then she'll take it all personally again and make it about her feelings like she did last time.

[haechanokeh]

I'm Right For You [pt.1 ]

[teaser/ prologue] [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ]

✓ I recommend listen to Die For You by The Weeknd every time reading this story 😌

pairing: popular college! mark x average! reader

genre: romance, smut, angst, series.

warning (this chapter): HIGH SEXUAL TENSION, masturbation and sex dream.

warning (the series): corruption, oral sex (both receiving and giving), cream pie, rough sex, anal sex, mention of religion, rough sex, self-esteem, psychology, public sex, sub! reader, sex toys. possessive mark two-faced mark

word count: 2.3K

I think I'm right for you, babe. You know what I'm thinking, see it in your eyes. You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry. It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect and I know that you're worth it I can't walk away. (Die for you by The Weeknd)

Mark was the least classmate you want to be pair with, Not because he slacks, not a good student because god knows he’s an excellent student. you just don’t like how different from you, it was unexplainable but you feel so intimidated- you can’t even look straight into his eyes. mark receives a lot of recognition and everyone adores him. he’s very kind.  everyone wants to hang out with him well mark is very friendly, he's really a good influence they say. he doesn't smoke, he drinks but not that much, plus he encourages the class to attend bible study- his father is a pastor. but you never hangout with anyone unless it's school related.

“my house? y/n? are you listening?” he lowered his head to check your face looking down on the textbook the whole time. he grabbed your attention, your eyes quickly shifted anywhere but him. 

“ah... ahm i’m good with library, i don’t want to cause any inconvenience.” you politely rejected his suggestion to where you can do your case study in clinical pharmacy. it’s just it doesn’t look good if a girl is alone with man in a house.

“but we can’t talk properly in the library.” he reasoned, and you knew he has a point.

“ahm, maybe in coffee shops?” no, you heard mark dislike going to coffee shop just to study, he said the key to ace the exams are study at home or library. studying in coffee shop causes inconvenience too for people who truly want to enjoy coffees. 

“okay fine. your house.” you sighed. he showed his infamous smile.

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mark said that they have visitors in their house so both of you decided to go you didn't know that mark lives in a fancy condominium. his house look so expensive, you very conscious to move, afraid that you might break something.

"what are you standing there?" he chuckled and put down his bag on the floor beside the couch. you're standing still on the doorway. "sit here." he patted the long sofa next to the couch.

you quietly walked towards the sofa and sit on it, stiffly which made mark chuckle again.

"do you want water, soda, tea, coffee, or me?" he winked, teasing you. you blushed, and you really despise that feeling every time he's around. you don't like it when he makes you flustered.

"water." you brushed off the intimidation. your tone changed slightly like you're annoyed.

mark could easily read people, he's really good at it. he knew you dislike him but something in your eyes say different. mark has been building this sexual tension between you for so long already but it still amazes him that you always block it. rather giving up, he was motivated and it became an addiction. he wanted tou so badly.

"okay water it is." he just said.

you opened your bag and get your notes in chemistry. you saw mark’s phone light up, and you saw his phone wallpaper. it was just in front of you, his wallpaper is a girl facing down on the table as if she's sleeping but what caught your eyes the most is that her matching bracelets with written bold letters life. then you analyze whether it was you, you have the same hair color and the two rings in the middle finger too. you literally froze, analyzing what's going on.

"y/n, here's your water and a sliced of cake that my brother baked." you almost jumped when he appeared. his brows met in confusion when he caught you so surprised. he put the tray on the table. "something wrong?"

your mouth felt dry.

"n-nothing." you stuttered. mark gave you an unconvinced look but just shrugged. he reach for his phone. you suddenly feel thirsty so you reach for the glass of water and drink it.

"ahm... who's on your wallpaper? ah- your phone light up i think someone texted you." you said returned to gulping the water

"you." he casually answered. you chocked and spat out the water from your mouth. the glass slipped from your hand and thank goodness it landed on your thigh safely but you clothes became wet.

mark only watched you while laughing on your cute reaction. you glared at him.

"i'm sorry, you're just too cute." he apologized suppressing his laugh. mark sat beside you and grabbed the glass from your lap and put it back on top of the table. "i still don't get it why you never notice my signals." he said, wiping your face using the sleeves of his sweater.

it sends you shivers, his touch did but his mischievousness no. you were slightly annoyed.

“you don’t like me huh.” he pretend to be hurt.

“stop playing.” you said and look down on your shirt. “my shirt is wet now.” 

mark stare at your silhouette shirt and your flesh and black bra are showing in front of his eyes. 

“i think i should go home.” you were disappointed, both of you haven’t accomplished anything yet.

she’s going home? like that?

“you can barrow my shirt for the mean time.” he stood up.

“really? thanks.” you stood up and follow him.\

i just confessed but i don’t think she get it. she’s really something. a small smile plastered in his face but you weren’t able to see it since his back was facing you. 

he opened his door’s room and he went in with you. you slightly observed his room, nothing special but there’s a lot of book on the shelf and two kinds of guitar. he loves music and ready, you find it amusing though. your eyes followed him getting shirt from his closet. 

we walked towards you.

“here.” he gave you a generous smile. he extended his hand to give you his shirt. you reached for it and once your hand was on it he swiftly hide it behind your back causing you to stumble on the his bed.

“i’m sorry.” you sat up and you froze when he stand in between the first thing you saw was his clothed abdomen. you looked up and the unfamiliar mark was now looking down on you. 

"i just confessed to you y/n, are you aware or just pretending that it didn’t happen, hmm?” he caressed your cheek that gave you goosebumps.” do you hate me? despise me? but why am i seeing in your eyes, you want me and you hate it weren't you?"

the air became thick, your mouth just parted and eyes staring at him. you're still processing what he said, it made you question your hate towards him.

hate was a strong word, you don't hate him but you hate whatever he made you feel, like right now. you're heart is going crazy. you just realize that you really like it and it's hard for you to admit because you know that he will do not good to you. you will just get hurt because he will never like you back, but that's not the case anymore. although you're doubting his confession, you seemed to love the idea of having him.

you gulped, your throat became dry once more. cat got your tongue and your brain stopped working- you can’t even process what’s going on. it was gentle but it feels icy like his voice and eyes. he’s not mark, at least that’s what you think.

“mark... i- what’s-” you have no idea what you want to say. 

he slowly and carefully traced your parted lips. mark felt arouse thinking how good it feels to sucked by these tiny mouth of yours. he lifted your chin using his thumb and middle finger and with no hesitations he captured your lips. you lost your sanity. you melted and so as your surviving rationality. 

he cupped your jaws and he deepened the kiss, tongue inside and he locked your mouths. the sensation went straight to your core. you felt like the world stop revolving around the sun and heat just absorbed mark’s room. the sloppy and wet kisses became louder than the aircon. heat rose from your chest. you were unaware but your hands were on the back of his head playing with his hair. he released a smug smile which you did not noticed.  this is your first kiss, no one ever kissed you... well you never had a boyfriend.  

a wicked idea won in mark’s hand, his hands skimmed down your body until it reached you thigh. he parted and caressed it. but it was a bad idea for him, senses snapped back on you.

you quickly separated your self, pushing him and you stood up. you quickly get up from his bed. 

“I need to use your toilet, excuse me.” your heart was pounding loud and you feel so hot. you walked passed him and walking to his room. 

mark quick on his feet before you even enter his bathroom not a toilet. he turned you. 

“why did we stop?” he groaned eyes glued on your lips.

“if you’re bored and just want to play, please not me Mark.” you begged, lips quivering because you know deep down in you, you’re close to giving in. His eyes masked with darkness, jaws clenched. he stepped forward and you step back. you don’t like it when he’s too close. you hate the feeling of being weak.

“do i look like i’m playing with you?” his voice was deep with a hint of annoyance. it was your first time to see mark like this.

mark who’s always smiling, laughing, friendly, caring,  generous, and everyone adores. was now gone. in your eyes he’s like a tiger targeting its prey. it didn’t help you’re in his den and back against the wall.

“mark, i want to go home." you faintly whispered still looking straight in his eyes. you felt so small, like a prey waiting, ready to be eaten.

"do you hate me that much?" he was reaching for your cheeks but you flinched. mark was offended by your reaction. "i never been bad to you y/n, tell me what did i do to you to make you feel this scared of me." he tucked your hair behind you ear.

"i'm not scared." you almost choke when you said that. mark chuckled at your cuteness. "you're just different to me and i don't know how to act around you." his brow raised.

"i feel uncomfortable mark, can i go home?" it took a lot of courage to say that. you just want to runaway. he smiled sadly, admiring your angelic face. eyes wide open with innocence looking up to him, he felt the unfamiliar urge to dominate those eyes.

"i guess you hate what ever you are feeling towards me, but unlike you I won't runaway." he traced the side of your face, it send shivers down to your core. "because I just simply can't walkaway."

he stepped back and tucked his hands on his pants.

"you can stay, i will not do anything to you. let's finish our case study on the living room." he went back, giving you his familiar smile. the atmosphere changed, the coldness vanished and changed into warmth.

you felt at ease.

"thank you." you said and you're quick on your feet, leaving his room.

mark watch you left from his room, he erased his pretentious smile.

"how long will this last, fuck." he groaned in frustration.

awkward but bot of you at least accomplished and solved the case. he offered you to drive you back home but you insisted that he doesn’t have to but he was so persistent that you have to lie about running errand and meeting your mom.

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sleepiness caught you the moment your body touched the bed.

“mark...” you faintly moaned and covered your mouth as you watch mark thrusting his fingers on your slick producing squelching and sucking your clit. 

"oh my gosh, i'm gonna cum!" you squealed and your legs started to shake. he crawled over you, hovering your naked body.

you finally met his eyes that almost melt your knees.

"i though you hate it? should i stop?"

“NO!” you gasped, and woke up from your strange dream. you sat up and was catching your breath. you felt something sticky between your thighs, shame enters your system and guilt.

"what am i thinking?" you whispered to yourself.

you felt ashamed over your dream doing something dirty with mark, however the other party was thinking of you non stop.

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mark stroking his dick, eyes closed while imagining your mouth wrapped around his cock.

"fuck, right there y/n." he moaned, after few thrust he spurted his white thick liquid.

his chest rose heavily. staring at his hands filled with his cum, there was no disgrace in his soul when he masturbate and thinking of you at the same time.

mark is always contented whatever he has, he's very simple minded but things went wrong when you caught his attention. for the first time, he want something- your body and your attention.

he thought, he wanted to be greedy, he needs to be greedy.

"will not do anything? at least for today huh?" he chuckled bitterly as he remembered what he said awhile ago to you.

"no holding back." he seriously said and wipe his hand on the blanket.

hello, i'm sorry for grammatical errors. i hope you enjoy it there's nothing much in this, just sexual tensions for chapter 1 ♥️

and i hope you like it, here's the chapter 1. @mellowvoidexpertfriend

[6ftslytherin]

Queer OC Questionnaire

Name: Sabine V. E. Lowell

1. What is your oc's identity?

Androgynous lesbian woman

2. When did they realize their identity?

In a way she's always known.

3. How did they feel when they found out?

(Trigger warnings: internalized homophobia and a suicide attempt)

Sabine had always felt like there was something different about her than the other girls. She never really understood how they could dream about getting married to a handsome gentleman. When she finally heard about other girls liking girls it was in a negative connotation. She hadn't thought that what she felt was bad but this was a respected adult saying it.

Her family being the famous Lowells taught her that one of the most important things that she could do was continue the bloodline by marrying a man and having children. When she asked about having children with a woman her grandfather Virgil laughed and told her it was ridiculous. She never brought the question up again.

Over the years the shame would build. It wasn't just her sexuality that made her feel bad. Her weird behavior caused her family to be ridiculed. She had indirectly killed her brother John. She was the cause of the argument that made Jacob leave. She wasn't feminine. Her parents deserved better. Being herself dishonored the Lowell name. She wasn't even sure if her parents actually loved her anymore.

She tried to be the best daughter she could be but she always felt bad about who she was. She couldn't even tell anyone because she didn't feel like her problems mattered compared to other's. Eventually all the shame and guilt built up which is when she decided to end things. She couldn't deal with the pain anymore.

She was fourteen when she stole a bottle of sleeping pills from a muggle pharmacy with the intent to take the entire thing. She decided on a date when the fewest people would be home and made peace with the people in her life. When the day came she wrote a note explaining everything and downed the bottle with a glass of wine. She became light headed and passed out a bit later.

She woke up in a bed at St. Mungo's. She didn't have the strength to argue when she was offered a spot in the pediatric section of Waterhouse Psychiatric Hospital and agreed.

4. How long did it take for them to accept themselves?

It wasn't until she was being treated in the psychiatric hospital that she began to let go of the guilt. Her parents hired a private psychiatrist to help them. The psychiatrist, Dean Garth, would help her and her family come to terms with their feelings.

She still sometimes has moments where she feels less than because of who she is. She now has technics and a stronger support system for those moments.

5. Are they open about their identity? Did they come out subtlety or dramatically?

She came out in her suicide note. She wasn't expecting to live so she didn't feel like it would be a big deal. When she woke up the day after she remembered the note and felt instant regret. When she had her first session with Dean she found out that her parents had read the note and given it to him. She felt deeply embarrassed about it.

After a few sessions with Dean he asked if she would be willing to have a session with her parents. She agreed. Sabine was surprised by how much her family really cared about her. They wanted to help her with her problems and felt like the worst parents in the world that Sabine thought the only way to stop the pain was to die. For the first time in years she cried in front of them. She no longer doubted she was loved.

She would slowly come out to her friends and extended family over the coming months.

She decided to be openly gay starting on September 1 1988.

6. What were the inital reactions of their friends and family?

Overall very positive. They were more concerned with Sabine's mental health at the time.

7. Did anyone know before they came out?

Her mother had an inkling by the time Sabine was 11. She thought she had a crush on Rowan. Her grandmother Colette knew by the time Sabine was 5. When asked to elaborate Colette responded with, "I just knew." Looking back on it, her grandmother had always been pro-LGBT. It turns out that Colette's uncle had been a closeted gay man that lived a double life until his death.

After she got out of the hospital she was hanging out with Rowan and told her. Turns out Rowan already knew. Not only that, but Rowan also liked girls and identified as a demigirl.

When she told Jacob his response was, "Yeah, no shit."

8. Was it a complete shock to some people?

Martinius Lowell, head of The Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, a job that requires the ability to see minute details, had no idea.

Her oldest brother Sef came back from Switzerland to spend time with her. Turns out he wasn't aware either. He was embarrassed about never noticing.

One day when Marie was visiting Sabine in the hospital she told her cousin she liked girls. Marie responded by saying she also liked girls. That was when the girls realized they were both the gay cousin.

9. What has their love life been like?

There was a girl that went to the same ice rink as her when she was eight that made her feel strange. She loved watching her skate and talking to her. She wanted to say something to her. Then she remembered how her fellings were wrong. So she didn't say anything to her. She started avoiding her. Eventually her crush for the girl died off. They went to the beach when she was twelve and she saw an older girl she was unable to stop looking at.

Sabine joined the Slytherin quidditch team in her second year. There she met Skye Parkins. After months of training and playing together Sabine considered her a friend. Sometimes Penny Haywood would talk to Skye and make Sabine feel weird. For some reason she only wanted Skye to talk to her. After awhile she realized she was attracted to Skye. She felt awful for liking a girl again. She started to hang out with Skye less.

In the Summer of 1987 when Sabine was fourteen she met Yvonne Silverpot, a fifteen year old girl. She was doing some modeling work for Sabine's mother at the time and needed a place to stay. Yvonne took an interest in Sabine. She often asked Sabine to spend her free time with her, which she obliged.

Whenever Sabine or Yvonne were free they would be with each other, quickly becoming friends. One day Yvonne asked Sabine if she had ever kissed anyone before. She answered truthfully that no, she hadn't. Yvonne offered to be her first. This surprised Sabine. She tried to explain that girls aren't supposed to kiss other girls.

Yvonne closed her eyes and said, "I'm going to keep my eyes closed for five minutes. Kiss me if you want. I'd like it and I think you would too." Sabine fought against her instincts before she gave in and kissed her. Yvonne left a few days after that. Sabine knew she would probably never see her again.

It was late September when Sabine accidentally outed herself to Merula. She had felt so comfortable in the conversation they were having it had slipped out. It had clearly freaked Merula out. She didn't say anything. She just got up and left. Sabine sat there, marinating in her panic induced nausea. She closed her eyes and started to use deep breathing techniques.

Sabine could tell Merula was avoiding her. She wouldn't even look at her when they had potions class, even though they sat next to each other. In between classes Sabine asked Merula if they could talk in private. Merula agreed. Sabine asked her if she had told anyone, she hadn't. Sabine was relieved. She explained how she didn't want her to tell anyone. Merula agreed but stated it still made her uncomfortable. Sabine didn't like it but was glad she was being agreeable.

Weirdly Sabine and Merula started to get closer. Merula didn't seem capable of the venom she used to spew at Sabine. They even had a private sleepover to celebrate Merula's birthday, Sabine's roomates being gone due to Christmas. Merula had gotten comfortable enough to share a bed with her. Sabine had got to sleep happy that they had finally buried the hatchet.

That morning she woke up to an asleep Merula holding onto her. Sabine almost had a heart attack. That was when she had a thought; hold her back. She almost did. That was when she realized she once again had a crush. She would have to distance herself to keep her from getting hurt. She wasn't able to fall back asleep. When Merula woke up she apologized for holding her. Sabine said she didn't mind, even though she did. The day after she began to distance herself from Merula.

The problem with this being in the same house, having the same classes, and sitting at the same table. Merula often asked if Sabine wanted to hang out or study together. Everytime she would decline Sabine could see the hurt in Merula's eyes, even if she acted like it didn't bother her.

Then one day in spring Merula had enough. She challenged Sabine to a private duel at night. Sabine arrived at the location expecting an angry Merula ready to fight her. Instead Merula was quietly waiting for her. It was almost eerie. Sabine asked what was happening. Merula simply said, "Do you hate me?" Sabine would have been surprised by the boldness if it had been anyone else, she said no.

Merula then demanded to know why she was avoiding her. Sabine couldn't think of anything to say. How could she explain that she had developed feeling for her? Then something shocking happened, Merula hugged her. She said she wanted to be around her again. That it hurt not to be. Merula buried her face in Sabine's chest. She said, "I need you to stay in my life because your the only person that treats me like I'm worth a damn. I think I like you. And that terrifies me."

Sabine was in a daze. She liked her? Sabine was scared. She slowly moved her hand onto Merula's head. Sabine breathed in deep. She said everything she had been holding in her heart. She told her how special she felt Merula was. That was when a thought came to her. Sabine swallowed hard and said, "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

Merula looked at Sabine. She said yes. The two of them started to cry out of happiness. It was almost bitter when they had to part. They agreed to meet up in Hogsmeade the week after, Sabine would come up with a date plan. They went back to the Slytherin common room while holding hands.

A month later Sabine asked if she could refer to Merula as her girlfriend. She agreed.

Strangely, Sabine's never been romantically attracted to Rowan. That was when Sabine realized she had a type. Tomboys.

How do they feel about their identity now?

Sabine is significantly happier since she was able to get the help she needed. She accepts the fact that she isn't going to magically wake up one day as a feminine heterosexual and she's glad she won't. Her family likes her girlfriend and she wouldn't want it any other way.

Blank questionnaire here: