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moral-terpitude · 1 year

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Misadventures - Part 5

Open the door you'll see me digging out my getaway · hang the stars who pulled the pin out of my heart · and just because you're screaming for my attention · does not mean I will waste my time · so hold your breath and swim under the ice

I told myself originally that something was going to be added to the header every time, but I only just added to it today! The Gustave Dore engravings are just for reference because they’re all Photoshopped together and its just easier for it to be seen than make y’all picture what they’re like mashed together.

Taglist in comments cause I’m on mobile and lazy

[Series Masterlist] [Previous Part]

Word Count: 4,328

Warnings: mention of infidelity/ adultery/ cheating/ whatever word you want to use.

They had fallen into a routine, unintentionally, over the following weeks. The more Quinn was there, usually three or so nights a week, the more comfortable she found herself around Tommy, in the little bubble of his world that she got to interact with.

His brothers were supposed to be visiting, something to do with business, and she could only guess, in the politest way it was a forewarning that she wouldn’t see much of him until they left.

“How have you never seen the Godfather? Everyone has seen the godfather.”

Quinn looked up from her iPad, across the dining room table where Tommy was perched behind the computer, still in work clothes, sans vest and suit jacket.

They had agreed on Indian food at some point in the day. The containers now discarded in the trash, they had been working mostly in silence, as Tommy fielded a few phone calls and Quinn answered emails.

She shrugged, setting the pencil down and stretching, feet hovering off the floor as she did, stifling a yawn. “I’ve just never watched it.”

“I’ll queue it,” he released the hold he had on the bridge of his nose as he stood, stubbing out the almost gone cigarette in the ashtray on the table, “I need a shower, but there’s popcorn in the cupboard, if you want to make some.”

Quinn had been appalled the first time she had seen him light a cigarette inside, (she noted that his determination that he was quitting had been tossed to the side), It had been a little over a decade since she had seen anyone smoke indoors, but somewhere in the conversation Tommy had informed her, albeit reluctantly, that he owned the building, and would suffer the consequences whenever he was done living there.

She still went out on the balcony to smoke, if she did while she was there, regardless of what he told her was allowed.

“Why are you so insistent that I watch it?”

Ice clanked from the fridge door into the empty glass as Quinn waited for his answer, hand lingering on the door handle.

“It’s a classic at this point.” His tone was final as he retreated to the bedroom, leaving her to rummage through the fridge for the, now last, of the flavored water she had left there.

Quinn found herself staring off into space, the music not really touching her brain even though she could feel herself moving around to the rhythm coming through her headphones, as the residual heat from the dryer hit her legs every time she pulled out another bundle of clothes.

“This article,” he came back not even 10 minutes later, still with wet hair, pushed back off his face and struggling to pull the shirt over his head, “says it’s objectively the best movie ever.”

Quinn almost choked as she rounded the corner, basket propped on her hip. Other than the day at the studio, she had only ever seen him in jeans and tee shirts or dress clothes. Well, except for when he was fully naked that she couldn’t even remember.

She shook away the thought.

She had been doing so good at being, well, normal. Sometimes there would be a joke here or there that would make her blush, but nothing had happened.

She decided that men’s basketball shorts that didn’t come past the knee should be illegal.

So should being a messy pretty boy who looked good in just a white T shirt, clinging to the parts of him that weren’t completely dry yet.

“Love?” And that. Just the way he said it, blue eyes searching her face, “You in there, Quinn?”

She took a deep breath, blinking a few times and feeling the flush that threatened to color her ears and neck, “Sorry, rebooting.”

She dropped her headphones back into the case, putting the dryer sheets in the kitchen trash, “You had to find an article about a movie you already like to convince me to watch it?”

Tommy stood on the other side of the leather sectional, trying to get whatever he was looking for to work.

“Fucking thing.”

“What?”

“It never recognizes the WiFi but the regular cable works just fine.”

“Let me look.” She took the remote, clicking through the menus, tongue peeking out the front of her mouth and brows drawn together the same way they did while she would draw.

“It says it’s connected.”

“It always does.”

“I have no fucking idea then. Bedroom one work?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well, turn it on in there then I suppose. Since you’re so insistent I watch it.”

“What are you doing?” Tommy questioned, placing the remote back on the table, adjusting the photo of Charlie and Ruby back where it belonged.

Quinn blinked rapidly, staring back at him as she broke open the clear cellophane, “My job was to make the popcorn. Go make the TV do movie things.”

Leaned against the headboard it was like he wasn’t even trying to rile her up. The shorts had no structure to them whatsoever, so while his left leg was still upright and bent at the knee, his right leg was the same, however resting against the mattress, the fabric pooling—

“What the fuck. That’s a fucking Gustave Dore engraving.”

“No, it’s three fucking Gustave Dore engravings,” he seemed rather unfazed as her nimble fingers pushed the hem of the shorts up to his hip, sitting between his spread legs as she did so, “you’re the one who has the degree, Quinn. You should know.”

“Shut up.”

Whoever had done the work was brilliant. It was seamless, as if all the pieces were meant to be together.

The focal point of the three, was The Pale Horse of Death, but the surrounding spiral of angels was composed of an Illustration for Dante’s Paradosio from the Divine Comedy, and beneath it all was The Mouth of Hell.

He was trying to focus on the movie, truly, but the way she looked, so intent while gentle fingers traced line work and her unforgiving shirt letting him see the black lace bra she wore, he found he was becoming rather distracted.

He tried as discreetly as possible to clench the muscles in his right leg, to send the blood flow anywhere else.

“Well, fuck,” she chuckled, “A man after my own heart,” Quinn settled herself back against the pillows once again.”

“When I was younger,” he began, shifting down in the bed some, as if trying to find comfort, trying to find somewhere to hide, “me mom went off, disappeared. When she came back, she had gotten me a white horse as a present for me birthday. Not long after, she drowned herself in the river near where we were living at the time. I was twelve. It was all just a blur. She hated the city.”

“Why move there then?”

He smiled, a sad smile, as she situated herself on her side to listen to him. “My father was an Irish Traveller and my mother was truly a Roma woman. They were never destined for any life with an amount of regularity, it was just in their personalities, always moving, always headed somewhere new.”

“Our aunt raised us, pretty much from the time she was eighteen. My mother was just as wild as the horses were. My father, for the first time in our lives, had finally found consistent work, in Birmingham, where my aunt was living. Before that, we were always on the move, caravans and all, and we traveled the countryside. We weren’t born in hospitals, we didn’t go to school but we learned, our illnesses were cured with tinctures and oils, herbs and fresh air. It was actually fairly common, there was a resurgence in it in the 90s after the Eastern Bloc fell.”

“You weren’t born in a hospital?”

He noted, her tone wasn’t incredulous like most people were, just one of true curiosity. Her eyes were wide, purple strands of hair failing in her face.

“No. My youngest brother only ended up in the hospital as a baby when his color wasn’t right, his eyes were yellow, he had colic, and they worried he wasn’t going to make it.” He remember the urgency after their parents realized what was going on. Jaundice. There was chaos as Ada cried and one of the Lee women watched over them until his father returned.

Not that he had been much help.

“I guess I didn’t realize people still lived that way. It always just seemed like stories.”

“Most stories usually have some stake in reality.”

She hummed, turning her attention to the movie.

“People do it now too, I guess. Buy vans and renovate them and live in them.” Quinn pondered.

Tommy hummed in agreement.

There was silence for a while as Quinn watched the events of the movie unfold.

“I only like the movie because I liked the book.” Tommy admitted, a quiet whisper she would have missed if they hadn’t ended up so close together once she had gotten comfortable.

“He reads.” Quinn joked, bumping him with her shoulder as she tossed another piece of popcorn in her mouth.

“You have my joggers in there?” He questioned, as he stood to look through the clothes that were accumulating at the end of the bed.

“Hey! Get out of there!” Quinn jumped to shield her clothes from him, prying, trying to remove him as he looked for through the pile of darks, “Tommy, you do not need to see my underwear!”

“I’ve seen you without them.”

Quinn huffed, ears going red, pelting him with a rolled up pair of socks before digging in the clothes basket of dried but unfolded clothes.

“You didn’t miss them this long,” came her grumble as she tossed him the pants and the dryer buzzed, signaling her queue to haul herself from the comfort of the bed and out to change over clothes once again.

She had passed out on the other side of the bed, clothes half folded, long before the movie was over, waiting on the last load of laundry to dry.

Tommy had taken a call from John, and hadn’t thought he’d been gone that long, but when he returned, he was surprised that she was curled up on her side on the far side of the bed, glasses askew, wriggled down in the comforter enough that her shirt was bunched around her torso and he could see the floral adornments covering her back.

He stood in the doorway, trying to decide what the plan was now.

She was light enough he could carry, he knew that for a fact from before, but the couch was far from comfortable. He’d discovered that last time Charlie and Ruby had been there and stolen the bed before they had their own room.

Which meant he wasn’t subjecting himself to the likes of the couch either.

She wouldn’t be hurting anything sleeping there for the night and since Finn and Arthur both couldn’t manage to answer him, he assumed their flight wasn’t coming in until morning.

Carefully, Tommy placed the clear plastic frames and her phone on the bedside table before turning off the tv and retreating to the closet for an extra blanket.

“What…the fuck.”

Tommy barely heard her whisper as he muted the alarm. Fumbling for her phone, Quinn blinked through watery eyes to try and focus on the time.

4:45.

4:45?

No, it couldn’t be 4:45. They already had that that day.

It must be 9:45.

She tried to take in her surroundings. She was very clearly still in Tommy’s bed, on top of the blanket but covered with a patchwork quilt she had never seen before.

Gross, she felt overencumbered, realizing she had slept in her clothes from the day before.

With a small groan she felt for her glasses, slipping them on before confirming it was indeed 4:45.

“Your alarm goes off at 4:45 in the morning?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh,” she sighed, rolling to where the freshly vacated, and warm, spot in the bed was, “I only see 4:45 once a day. You’re a monster.”

Her eyes were shut already as Tommy exited and closed the door to the walk in closet, “You don’t even know the half of it.”

She snorted, and he was thankful that she thought it was a joke.

“You probably listen to the news in the morning, too? Don’t you?” She called through the door, stretching back out in the mess of the blankets as the water hissed to life on the other side of the door.

“Yeah. Turn it on the cable, it should be on the news.”

“Ugh, no.” She tossed the glasses on the other table, burrowing further into the pillow, trying to ignore the way her stomach flipped at the smell of his cologne tainting the sheets, “Wake me up when there’s coffee involved though.”

Tommy wasn’t at all surprised to see her fast asleep on his pillow when exited the bathroom at 5:15.

On the other hand, he was very surpsied when he turned the light on in the kitchen to hear a groan that belonged to no other than Arthur.

Tommy looked over the back of the couch to see Finn curled on the shortest part and Arthur stretched out on the longest part of the sectional.

“Arthur,” Tommy whispered, shaking him by the shoulder, hoping to rouse him quickly and quietly, but when one hand wrapped around Tommy’s wrist and the other went for his throat, he determined that wouldn’t be the case.

“Oi!” Tommy pulled, yanking his arm away to stand back up straight and out of arms reach, “Hey, it’s me. It’s fucking me.”

Tommy could see when Arthur’s eyes began to focus, to actually see who he was looking at, and not someone who had snuck up on him through the smell of burning oil and sand to attack him.

“Sorry, brother.” Arthur whispered, pulling himself upright and putting his head in his hands before pushing his hair back out of his face.

Tommy shook his head, disregarding the apology, “When did you get here?”

“Late. Early.” Arthur grumbled, “Finn wanted to wake you, but, I told him let ya be.”

“Well,” Tommy clapped him on the shoulder, “might as well rest. Sleep it off.”

“C‘Mon, Tommy!” Finn stared at her across the kitchen island, trying to think just what Polly would say when she saw this girl. Purple hair and facial piercings are not at all what he would expect of a woman his brother would end up with. Tattoos on her throat and every surface of her skin that he’s seen so far.

Finn was used to women like Grace and Lizzie who were pretty enough that they could be in paintings.

Not women that wore paintings.

Quinn grabbed with the chopsticks, desperately, although Tommy was taller, trying to reclaim the last piece of her sushi roll.

Not the most ideal breakfast, but she had forgotten about the appointment she had scheduled before work, and it was better eaten than left to go to waste.

“You said you were stuffed, eh? Couldn’t eat another bite, and now you want it?”

Finn sniggered as he slid off the stool and he decided that maybe he can see part of the reason why his brother likes her. She moves nimbly as she jumps, the right parts of her body catching his attention.

“Oi!” Quinn misses the in between, but Tommy can tell what his brother is thinking, and Quinn realized as she hoped to catch what Tommy said, that it wasn’t English, and whatever language it was, it wasn’t anything she could take a guess at.

“That’s not fair,” her eyes narrow as she looks between the two of them, taking the opportunity to pull Tommy’s arm closer to her, guiding the final bite of sushi to her mouth, not swallowing the bite fully before speaking, but using her hand to shield her mouth, “cause I don’t know what the fuck you just said.”

Finn rolled his eyes with a shake of his head, before departing the kitchen and a door slamming off in the distance.

“So I might, perhaps, need a favor,” Quinn began, testing the waters with her words as she stared at the black coffee swirling in the mug as she tried to keep herself from being nervous.

Her phone had been going off nonstop the last few days, her family group chat, which between her parents, sisters, and their spouses had 13 people messaging all day every day.

“Okay,” Tommy quirked an eyebrow, already smartly dressed in a suit and tie for a day full of meetings. She has on a mauve rubbed crop top and high waisted leggings, but not high enough that the fabric meets in the middle, and instead it leaves enough of her skin on display for his thoughts to wander before she spoke again.

“My sister is getting married,” she takes a sip of coffee before continuing the thought, “and I need someone to go with me.”

“Say all of the words.” He prodded, not looking up, because he knew as soon as he did he would give up and agree.

Instead, Tommy continued skimming emails on the laptop, trying to find the ones with the spreadsheets that he needed to print.

“What do you mean?” She had to resist rolling her eyes.

“I need to have you say the whole thought out loud.”

“Tommy,” she leaned against the kitchen island as he closed the lid of the computer, giving her his now undivided attention, “will you go to my sisters wedding with me and pretend that we’re dating so I can make them jealous?”

“Well, I have to admit, I’ve never been spitefully invited to a wedding before.”

“First time for everything.” She quipped, drumming her fingers against the countertop.

“Lucky for you, there’s a car in Detroit I want to look at, so yes, I’ll go.”

“A car?”

“Yes.”

“What is it?”

“A 1967 GT500.”

Quinn rolled her eyes, a huff of air coming out her nose as she resisted laughing. “Because it’s a Shelby?”

His smile let her know the answer.

“Well,” she righted herself, stretching before pulling her bag on her shoulder, “we’ll be about 3 hours from Detroit, but that’s probably the closest you’ll get any time soon, so you might as well get a hold of them.”

“Okay. When?”

“Two weeks,” she checked the time, “shit. I’ve got to get going, I have an appointment this morning. I’ll message you more of the details.”

“Do you want me to drop you off?”

“No, that’s okay, it’s not that far of a walk.”

The door clicked closed and Tommy was thankful for the silence before Arthur and Finn returned to the kitchen.

“When are you goin’ to tell her you’re still married, Tommy?” Finn inquired from the doorway, Arthur trailing not far behind him.

He rubbed his temple, “It’s not that simple, eh? It’s nothing like that. If I bring it up, then this,” he gestured to the two coffee cups still on the counter, “all becomes something.”

“Pol would have you by the balls for leading her on like that.” Arthur countered.

“Men and women can be friends, brother. It’s not—“

“Yeah, well, we’re not blind, Tom, she’s sleepin’ in your bed, you was just acting like everything’s normal while—“

“While what, Arthur? Please, enlighten me.” Tommy offered the floor to his brother, leading with the hand holding the now lit cigarette as Finn, wide eyed and unmoving, watched the tension grow between the two of them.

“While I have to wonder if my daughter is mine?” Tommy wouldn’t lie, he could feel himself getting more and more pissed off the longer he kept talking, “While I have to wait for paperwork to go through, because 8 years ago Lizzie started fucking Angel Changretta and apparently never stopped!”

He was yelling, he could feel all of it, the resentment and anger, shame, and every other emotion that he tried desperately to press down bubbling to the surface. Rightfully so, as Arthur just couldn’t resist trying to prove a point.

Arthur hung his head, giving a nod as Finn shifted uncomfortably on the stool, the only noise being the wood groaning and mimicking his discomfort.

“You two, should go find something to do at the office today, eh? Change some fucking lightbulbs. File some fucking papers. Good spot for you.”

He slammed the door to the balcony behind him, blood boiling as he replaced the cigarette and pulled the smoke between his lips.

“Fuck,” Quinn rubbed her eyes as her phone vibrated across the desk, the word Mom staring at her dauntingly, “I don’t have time for this shit today.”

Hannah chuckled, printing off the emails and reference photos that Quinn needed for the new appointments as she answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi, sweetie, how are you?”

“I’m good, mom. Listen,” she rested the phone between her shoulder and ear, before taking the papers and heading into her portion of the studio and closing the door, “I’m in the middle of the day right now,” her phone vibrated and pinged a text message as she continued talking, “and I’m in between appointments that I’m trying to setup for, so, what’s up?”

“Well, Emily has been busy with the wedding planning, with it getting so close, she hasn’t had much time to call, but she said you never sent her an RSVP. Are you not coming home?”

Quinn pinched the bridge of her nose, sinking down on the uncovered massage table, the envelope clear as day in her minds eye still hanging on the fridge, “Yeah, mom I’m still coming. I put it in the mail a week or two ago, but the mail around here sucks. We usually get the neighbors stuff and, who knows what happened to it. I put down two.”

“Oh, good! Well I’m going over there later, I’ll let her know you’re coming. Can you just give us some warning if Hannah is coming with you, after last time.”

“Opa getting a little testy because I brought a girl with me, who I am not dating, is not my problem. He read between lines that weren’t even there. Besides, she won’t be able to come this time, Dante’s wife just had that baby and I can’t quite ask her to come in and cover for her.”

“Well who’s coming with you then, Quinn?”

Shit. She swallowed thickly, thankful that her mom hadn’t decided to FaceTime her, because as much as she didn’t mind lying, her mom could usually tell when she was, “I’ve been seeing someone. For a few weeks. I just haven’t talked to y’all in a bit and it didn’t seem like something to bring up just yet. You know, the luck I have, I didn’t want to jinx anything.”

“Oh. Well, we’ll looking forward to meeting them then.”

“Him.” Quinn corrected, jaw set as she tried to think of some way to get the conversation over quick. She could feel the anxiety and sweat prickling at the back of her neck.

“What?”

“I’m bringing a guy, shouldn’t be that hard to fathom.”

“Well, sweetie, after Gerard, you always said—“

Quinn could feel her heart pounding in her chest, stomach turning, at even the mention of his name, “After Gerard I said a lot of things, mom. Listen, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

“Okay, I love you, Quinn.”

“I love you, mom. Bye.”

“Holy fuck,” Hannah chirped as she closed the door to the apartment behind her, leaving her purse and shoes at the door, “you’re actually home? In waking hours of the night?”

Quinn rolled her eyes, looking up from the iPad and setting the pencil down as a repeat television show played in the background.

“Yeah,” she rubbed her eyes, stretching as she migrated her belongings to the coffee table.

“Oh, and she sounds dejected.” Hannah narrated as she crossed out of Quinn’s line of vision, to the kitchen, retrieving a bottle of water from the fridge and tucking a chunk of of black hair behind her ear, before flouncing down on the steps, “Listen, I don’t want to take it there, but what’s going on? You fucking slept there last night.”

“Not dejected, just,” she sighed as Hannah sat down opposite her at the other end of the couch, “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just being fucking dense.”

“Y’all fuckin’?”

“No! That’s, no, it’s not even like that. It’s so strange. I literally think we’re just friends. Which is just throwing me for a loop.”

“So why aren’t you over there trying to get laid then?”

“His brothers are visiting.”

“Oh fuck.”

“Yeah, so, I didn’t feel like I needed to get it the way. It’s probably good. I need to actually take some time and be at home and figure out,” she shook her head, “what the fuck my brain is doing, I guess.”

Hannah sat silently for a moment, Quinn waiting for some kind of wisdom from her friend.

“You like him though, don’t you?”

Quinn felt Hannah’s eyes boring into her as she thought.

“I…” she sighed, flinging her head back against the couch cushion, “it would be stupid to say I don’t right, like, I definitely have a type, but,” she shook her head, “I don’t know. I feel like I’m just missing something. Plus he has kids, and, I dunno. I literally just need,” she shrugged, “time to think. I think.”

“Well,” Hannah laughed, “good luck with that.”

#tw: cheating #tw: adultery #tw: infidelity #modern tommy shelby #modern!tommy #modern peaky blinders #modern tommy shelby x oc #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby x oc #peaky blinders fanfic #fanfic #misadventures #quinn meyer

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thechasmsurveys · 4 months

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Do you sleep with just a sheet in summer when it's hot? No, I have to have my weighted blanket or else I can’t sleep.

Are you one of those people who needs to have at least some blanket on you when you sleep so the monsters don't get you? Hahaha, yes, actually.

Will anyone be visiting your house any time soon? Not that I’m aware of. We need to clean the house before we both have to go back to work and we don’t feel like it lol.

What was the last museum you went to? The Van Gogh one. It was amazing.

Scroll through your camera roll quickly without looking, then stop it with your finger. What's the first picture your eye lands on? My phone is all the way across the room and I’m feeling lazy. I’m sure it would just be a picture of Dusty, though.

Do you get bursts of creative energy or is it more consistent? Honestly I never really feel creative, ever,

Have you ever been chased by a dog? Yeah, I had to go to animal court over it and everything lol.

What's your favourite kind of soda? I’m not a soda person at all. I like sweet tea and water.

Are you a visual learner? Very much so.

Do you have a drink with you right now? What is it? Just some water in my Stanley.

What was the last science fiction movie you watched? Annihilation. I didn't love the movie per se, but the cinematography and the CGI was gorgeous. I've never seen anything like it. <--This movie lives rent free in my head lol. The bear scene makes me die a little every time I imagine it. But uhmmmmm, no idea. I’m not a movie person.

How far away from your home is the nearest train station? Probably 30-45 minutes.

Do you listen to music every day? Yeah, either on the way to work or on the way home and then just whenever on weekends.

If you have a passport, when does it expire? Oh, I’m sure it’s been expired for like 10 years.

Have you ever smoked a cigar? No.

What was the last app you opened on your phone? Messenger. Someone was messaging me about monopoly go cards lollllllll.

Is your voice high, low, or somewhere in the middle? I think it’s middle to low.

Are you wearing any rings right now? Yes just my two silicone ones for my wedding bands.

Have you ever been to a baby shower? Plenty.

Do you have any cash stashed away anywhere? I have some in my wallet because I just don’t put it in the bank lol.

What are your neighbours like? I live in townhouses so I have tons of them lol. My immediate one on the left is super nice. I love her. She’s super sweet. The neighbor on the right is not my favorite at ALL. And my dog hates her so that means something lol.

What month is your birthday? How far away is that from now? June. 6 months.

What's the next friend or family birthday coming up? Will you buy them a present Lauren’s in February. I will, but I’m not sure what present.

What was the last book you read? I got an advanced reader copy of The Fury by Alex Michaelides and it’s so freaking good.

Have you ever spend a long period of time in a country you weren't born in? Not really. I went to Europe and stayed in Italy for like 5 days and France for about the same but that’s it.

Do you make your own surveys on Bzoink? Hahaha I used to.

What colour are the bottoms you're wearing today? I’m currently wearing Colton’s boxers and they’re plaid lol.

How many beds are in your home? Two.

Do you wear face masks in public? No.

What are your plans for tomorrow? Oooooh, so we’re going with my sister and her family and my mom and us and our dog Dusty, to a park like an hour away and we’re going to walk around. It’s a huuuuuuuuuuuge park and it has like a café and a coffee shop and a tram and everything. It sounds insane. Then dinner with my boss and her husband at her house.

#survey #random survey #personal survey #surveys

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cherienymphe · 1 month

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hey girlie, i'm in a situation so i would like to hear your opinion on this, it's also kind if chaotic so beware😭

so 2 days ago the town festivities started n i went with my brother and 2 of his friends, one is a girl and the other is a guy (he's 40, she's 32, I'm 24).

so i noticed the guy paid a lot of attention to the other girl and they were talking a lot and wasn't really paying attention to me. i started talking to another guy that was really nice and closer to my age and we were hitting it off and then my brothers friend got annoyed and told us he wanted to go somewhere else and it was really fast so i couldn't get the guy i was talking ig or anything.

fast forward we left to another place and then the guy started talking to me too, i thought he was super handsome and i was the one who had the idea to invite him. so i started flirting and he flirted back and then we made out. but the other girl got super annoyed and wanted to leave and said she didn't want to be in this situation(which the situation was 2 of her "friends" making out, like i don't think it was that serious or bad? and she met him like 2 hours ago)

she ended up leaving and i told her i didn't want her to go alone and that i would go with her but she didn't want to and i was rlly drunk and having fun tbh (the walk to her house was like 5 min)

the guy and i kept making out for hours and it was fun but the friend that left kept calling like every 10 minutes to tell me that i should go back she told my whole family that i had made out w him and lied and said that my family was mad at me but when i got back they weren't and they were actually glad that i was having fun cause i never really do stuff like this.

she told me that the guy had been flirting w her and that he only got w me cause she did not want him. she also said that the guy had a gf which i didn't know at all so i asked him and he said he was in an open relationship, but I'm not sure cus u know guys lie abt that a lot lol. he said he liked me but didn't want to talk to me out of respect to my brother which i found kind of weird cause we ended up making out in the end, he also said he respected me cause he has known me since i was little and that he didn't flirt with the girl he was just making small talk but im not really sure if i should believe that.

and then the next day the girl told me that she didn't want to make out with him and that she didn't like him at all and that she was cool with it, but then she also told me that she was looking for a roommate and that she was going to ask him?lol😭

i left town cause i don't live there and i was only visiting for the parties and the guy texted me and said he liked me and that he wanted to see me again, he said he was going out today too and he wished i was there and i told him that i wished i would've known that i'd meet him n would have stayed longer and he left me on seen and it's been like 8 hours lol.

tbh i don't really care if he has a gf as long as he's being real about being in an open relationship because i don't think our personalities match enough to be in a relationship, like i just wanna fucc n have fun lol cause he is handsome as hell, like the hottest guy i've ever been with. but i wouldn't like if he ended up hooking up w that girl cause i know she's saying she didn't like him but I'm getting the vibe she did, they live in the same town and i live in another one 4 hours away, so they could be hooking up rn at this moment as far as i know lol.

what do you think? should i just ignore this guy n find another or just wait and see if anything happens?

To answer your question I think you should drop him.

To be more specific on my thoughts, I do think he was into you the whole time because he clearly was bothered by you bonding with another guy buuuuut he should've made that clear. Him lowkey excluding you in the beginning tells me he either was trying to make you jealous or was just being a bit of a dick who maybe was trying to play both fields. Either way, both are red flags to me. As well as him saying he wants to respect your brother but also proceeding to do said thing that he feels is disrespectful to your brother. He seems all over the place and like a headache.

I personally take people as face value so if he says he's in an open relationship I wouldn't doubt that but with that being said, him and girl 2 seem messy and complicated I'm sorry. Her being in your business like that and telling your family your personal matters (because for why and why would they care) is weird af. I don't understand how that's any of her business and then she's talking about becoming roommates with him? Both of them are too old for these antics and speaking of old...

Girl he's 16 years older than you and knew you since you were little? So he was definitely an adult when you were a literal child and around him??? Seriously???? That's not concerning to you at all???

He's 40 and weird and a huge walking red flag like all of this just gave me a headache

#asks

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someoneinjersey · 4 months

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I meant to ask about the pets too FAWK GO FIND THE PET QUESTION AND ANSWER IT GODDAMNIT

LOL i was like ALL I HAVE DONE IS TRAUMA DUMPED

15: Have any pets? YES I DO I HAVE FOUR NOW JESUUUUUUU CRISTO.

Deano. My boy my first born my little bastard. My full sized yorkie with floppy ears and he stinks and he chews on his feet and has chronic ear problems and is my rotton soldier and is currently wearing Christmas pajamas and almost snoozing near me on the couch/ottoman/blanket. He is also keeping a wary eye on the kitten, who loves him, and who he wants nothing to do with. He turned 8 in October and he's shaggy and needs a haircut and another bath and he has to eat prescription food to prevent developing more bladder stones because THAT was a thing goddamn. He loves adult humans but anyone and anything else is his enemy and he must protect from them. He is so spoiled and so cute and so whiny and honestly he deserves better than I can give him and I hold him and cryyyyyyy every time I watch a sad animal video.

Wimby, Kate's cat, mine by proxy. He's the old man, we call him Peepaw Wimby since we got the kitten because he's 10. Currently curled up at the top of his living room cat tree, nose tucked in his paws. He mostly doesn't like strangers but he liked me right away, and by "liked me" I mean he let me pet him and gave me bumps with his head and screamed at me a lot. He still does this. He screm. He takes smelly shits and acts like a moody teenager; whenever something happens that he doesn't like he runs upstairs and will loudly complain for like 10 minutes. Now that there are 2 other cats in the house he's gotten more brazen with bad food manners and will just stick a nose or a paw in Kate's food and he debates a LONG time about jumping up on the kitchen counters before I can convince him to be a good boy and not do that. The kitten harasses him constantly, fearlessly, and he hates it, but then we find him being nice to her when no one's around. That's when moody teenager comes out because he gets embarrassed. He is enjoying eating the kitten's food.

Larry. A stray cat that wandered around near our house that just like ... decided she lived here now. She has a quiet raspy meow unless she's really distressed so Kate named her Larry, short for Laryngitis ... then we figured out she was a girl. She's a tortie and we can't litter train her, she'll piss anywhere but a litter box, so we just let her go potty outside like a dog because she always comes home. She's gotten REAL fat because she eats cat food here in the house and then hunts when she's outside so now she's a chonker. The kitten makes her angry and she was mad at me for like a month but finally she's back to wanting my affection and snuggles. She's actually really snuggly and very friendly. I don't know where she is at the moment, she's out of eyesight so probably in the spare bedroom on the bed or upstairs on the couch under the window. I really want to get her to wear a collar so we can put an air tag or a tile on her or something so we know where she goes when she's outside since litter training her seems out of the question. I really wish we could just keep her inside 24/7 because I don't want her getting hit or attacked by a coyote or local dog.

Bizzy (government name=Important Business). Our newest pack member. She is a terror and a menace and she is so snuggly and sweet and maddening and only 5 months old. She is missing an eye and sneezes all the time because we adopted her right as she was getting over a respiratory infection and every time I find or wipe up a cat booger I wanna barf. She was kind of an impulse adoption, because she just happened to be in the local dog bakery downtown when we went in to visit for the first time. Two days later she was home. She came litter box trained but she keeps stepping in her poop in the box and I'm like PLEASE I'M TIRED OF WIPING POOP OFF YOUR FEET but her poops are touchy because of all the meds she was on. She's curled up between Deano and me on the ottoman right now, snoozing a little because she had a big day what with us vacuuming and Kate's aunt and uncle coming over. She is FEARLESS, even when the other three animals are clearly telling her to fuck right the hell off. She likes to climb into the fridge and sleep around your neck like a scarf. She has a little black patch on her chin like a goatee. We love her.

AND THOSE ARE OUR PETS. Leaving out the chicken Nancy that adopted us before she passed away and my fish that I had a decade ago that I loved like a child lmao.

ILU KRISSSSS

#me #about me #pets #deano #wimby #larry #bizzy #cats #dog

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doomdoomp3 · 2 years

Text

Step by Step (Jonghyun x Reader) - Chapter 7

Story Type: College AU; 2nd person Characters: Jonghyun x Reader Genre: fluff, romance Summary: You’re in Law School and live in a big house with some of your classmates. The boys live downstairs and the girls on the second floor. You’re not too close with some of them, especially with the guys. But then, Easter is here and you can’t go home to visit your parents, neither Jonghyun can go. That’s when you two start to get closer.

Thursday, 10:30am. You only have one class in the afternoon so you were sleeping a little bit more than the usual but suddenly your phone started to ring non stop. You didn't see who was calling, just answered with a completely sleepy voice, looking like a zombie, trying to finish that soon as possible and come back to your dreams.

"Hm? Yes?"

"Wake up, sunshine."

"Who's it?"

"It's me!"

"Me who?" - You rubbed your eyes and looked to the phone screen, trying to come back to life and see the name there. - "Jonghyun... why are you calling me? Let me sleep."

"You're accepting calls without seeing who is it calling? Oh, that hurt my feelings."

"I was sleeping ok? And you wouldn't stop calling me, so... what do you want?"

"I want you to open the chat and see your messages. Quickly." - And just like that he hung up the phone.

"God…" - You sighed. - "What an educated man we have here."

He sent so many messages, you were shocked with that, maybe something have happened and you didn't know, so you sat on the bed to process the situation.

Jonghy said: Morning, sunshine Jonghy said: Wake up, let's go out for lunch ^^ Jonghy said: Wake up :((( Jonghy said: I'm hungry

You started to laugh reading his messages. It was 10am boy, calm down. Go eat something, it's not time for lunch yet.

Jonghy said: if you don't wanna go with me ok, fineee

What a desperate man. It must me his stomach talking (or not).

Jonghy said: come on :( I know a nice and new place we could check :( Jonghy said: Y/N wake uuup!! Jonghy said: I'm gonna call you *1 missed call from Jonghy*

You were typing to answer him and another message arrived.

Jonghy said: I know you've read it so come quickly, baby I'm waiting for you in the car

And then a picture pops up. It was him wearing all black, with his favorite red cap, inside the car waiting for you. Not even smiling, just with a soft look, calling for you. Your heart skipped a beat seeing that, he's confusing your head and heart. The anger you were feeling when he woke you up has faded away, just like magic. You had to tap your phone screen twice before it locked because you didn't even know what to answer or how to act after that.

"First of all, you're so desperate, dude chill!! lol second of it, where are we going? I hope it’s a 5 star place. I'm going to get ready now, it might take a few minutes so don't lose your patience and wait for me. Btw where are you? Aron's car, right? I'll let you know when I'm ready ;)" - You typed back.

You went to the bathroom and bumped into your friend Rosie in the corridor. She got surprised to see you awake at that time in the morning.

"What happened, Y/N? Is there a monster in your bed? Why are you up already?" - She asked.

"No..." - You laughed after a long sigh. - "Jonghyun just called me. He needs me to do something." - She would mock you if you have said the truth.

"Oh. That's why he was so dressed up. It says a lot." - You entered the bathroom, giving her a suspicious face, thinking about what she meant by that but you decided to let it go.

Soon you went back to your room, you saw a notification coming up in your phone again and yes, it was the most anxious boy in town.

Jonghy said: 5 star?? what do you think I am?? I'm not an heir. But once I get more money I'll take you to one, don't worry :) Jonghy said: you're taking too long... I'm getting bored Jonghy said: and tired

For a few seconds, you really thought about not going just because he was rushing you as if he was dying there. But he was being such a sweetheart to you with no reason and it was better to go see what was his deal.

"I'm goinggg!! Stoppp!!! I'm trying to get ready, don't rush me!! Just a little bit more and I'll be there. Don't die, for god's sake!" - You've sent that to him and JR just replied with a bunch of the pleading face emoji that you could visualize him doing that.

20 minutes have passed and you were leaving the house in a rush, all clumsy with your purse and keys, trying not to drop your phone while texting Jonghyun saying that you were ready to go. You stepped outside and almost got a heart attack. He was right by the door, leaning against the wall, looking at you with such an appealing look.

"Jesus Christ, Kim Jonghyun!" - You put your hands on your chest, scared, shaking a little bit.

"I'm sorry." - He bent down to pick up your keys, feeling regretful for his actions but also laughing at your reaction. - "I didn't mean to scary you."

"But you did! I thought you were in the car, I wasn't expecting you here." - With a saddening tone of voice, you explained yourself, making him feel bad for you.

"Sorry again!" - He made an adorable face. JR wanted to give you a hug but didn't know how to so he just patted your back as if you were just a kid.

"Yeah, ok. But hey, let's go. You were in such a hurry to go eat, what are we waiting for?"

"Yep!" - Both of you were heading to the car. - "You look stunning, by the way!" - He stepped back for a second, feeling flustered for what he has said.

You were wearing a white shirt with a denim jacket and light beige dress pants, you hadn't given much thought to the look itself, just went with your basic stuff. A compliment wasn't something you would expect to receive.

"Thank you!" - You smiled back to him as he hurried to try to be a gentleman and open the door for you. - "So do you!" - You didn't just say that out of politeness.

He smiled back to you, finally getting into the car, driving you both to the restaurant.

#nuest #jr #kim jonghyun #nuest fanfic #nu'est #nuest fanfiction #nuest scenarios #*works #step by step #step by step c7

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nancypullen · 1 year

Text

It’s DERBY DAY!!!

Late last night I baked a few cupcakes so that the little miss and I could decorate them this morning. The cupcake liners are red roses (run for the roses) and the decor speaks for itself. Here’s hoping that they taste better than they look.

After breakfast I started a pork butt in the slow cooker so that we can have a Derby dinner of pulled pork. I’m throwing together a broccoli salad and a couple of other things, keeping it simple so I can sit down and enjoy the race. Crossing my fingers that my gray horse wins. I never bet enough to get rich, but if Tapit Trice wins I will be placing a healthy Sephora order. Wrinkle cream ain’t cheap. It also ain’t working, but that’s a story for another day. Around 10 o’clock we ladies went to Easton to paint pottery. Before departing Tennessee a dear pal gave me a gift certificate to Kiln Born Creations. Painting pottery and chatting was a favorite past time of ours in Mt. Juliet and her card said to use the gift to create special memories with the grandgirl. I didn’t intend to wait this long to use it, but between Covid, kidney stones, her 4 year old attention span, etc we did end up waiting. I’m so glad we did. Today Little Miss Magic and I painted a fairy house for her garden. She believes in fairies with all her heart and is convinced she’ll have tenants. I’m going to have to order some tiny shoes or items of clothing to drop inside from time to time. She’ll know they’ve been there.

Once it’s fired those colors will become brilliant and glossy. I think any fairy would be happy to live there.

Can we take a moment to appreciate that adorable dress?

That little Peter Pan collar and the blue waist sash - swoon! My sister made that dress for her daughter twenty plus years ago. She has gifted me with dresses, a kuspuk (also handmade), dance recital outfits, scads of American Girl dolls, clothes, and equipment, and books. Aunt Cathi is an absolute celebrity in my grandgirl’s eyes. When we see a car that even slightly resembles hers, she’ll sigh and say, “I wish that was Aunt Cathi coming to visit.” She’s a fan. Me too.

Right now I’m actually home alone. The gang went off to an animal festival sponsored by Caroline County’s Humane Society. There’s supposed to be live music, food trucks, alpacas and other interesting animals, fun booths for kids, dogs doing tricks and chasing lures, and lots more. I declared that they should go on without me because I still had some meal prep to do, which I truly did need to do if I intend to enjoy the Kentucky Derby. That didn’t take long and now I’m tapping away on the ol’ blog and talking to you. I may have gotten the better end of the deal. I hope they come home with an alpaca. We can add it to the squirrel that is currently residing in our garage and refusing to leave. I’m not sure when he got trapped in there, but he tore up the blinds at one window trying to get out. Mickey cracked the big garage door, but apparently Steve the Squirrel has gotten pretty comfy where we store the bird seed. He was heading toward the door at one point and Mickey raised it which spoked him and he ran back into the shelving. When we came home from Easton and painting pottery I was assured that Steve has gone. I don’t think I believe it. I don’t want to go into the garage to grab gardening stuff or spray paint something and end up with a squirrel in my hair. It doesn’t do any good to demand that he show himself, he won’t do it. I asked Mickey why he thinks the squirrel is gone and he said (and I quote), “Because I saw one that looked just like him run across the street.” This man can’t tell the difference between Ann Margaret and Lucille Ball (”Well, they both have red hair.”) but expects me to believe he can ID a squirrel at twenty yards. Steve is probably behind the shelves raising a family right now. But I can’t think about that right now. I’ve got DERBY plans. The more I do now, the more likely I’ll be able to watch the most exciting two minutes in sports. I’m going to tune in early to ooh and ahh over the hats, listen to the crowd sing My Old Kentucky Home, and get chills when I hear the “Riders up!” call. I love it all. Even if I’m not a winner today (Forte is still the favorite), I’m having a ball. Hope your Saturday is relaxing and that you have as much fun as you’d like. That may mean a big outing or an afternoon nap. Your call. Sending out love, grab some if you need it. Stay safe, stay well, RIDERS UP! XOXO - Nancy

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interstell5555 · 2 years

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Okay, I can't focus on anything else without having ananeurism. 10 minute Headcanon session starts.... Now!

Shep

Shep doesn't like being around people for too long, hence why he works in a field that's so isolated.

Shep has noise and light sensitivity, like all of the Aliens in interstella do, (hc), though his is particularly bad.

Shep lives in those flower fields just outside of the city, down by the lake. What we see in something about us is sort of like his home.

Shep met Stella when she went out of town on vacation when they were kids. He only used to see her every summer, until he went into training, and moved into the city. They lived together for a short time.

Shep doesn't have very good fine motor skills, and tends to struggle with things like drawing or music.

After his death, Shep can still walk on planets, though because of the new form, he can tend to cause things to burn up, if he isn't too careful. This leads to him hardly ever visiting his home planet, for fear of hurting it or his friends.

Shep felt resigned during something about us, his death having purpose.

Despite enjoying the isolation, Shep got lonely pretty easily on his ship. He would always talk to stars, or the pictures he had in his room.

Shep doesn't know how to play many instruments, the one he knows best being harp. He sings well, too.

Shep - as a celestial object - can't be seen by people who don't know him.

Shep is really uncomfortable being on stage or in the spotlight, and shies away from any attention.

Had he survived, Shep would've returned to interstellar service, just not as a defense and rescue pilot.

Shep and Arpegius have a friendly rivalry, and Arpegius likes to try and embarrass him in front of stella.

Well, that's time!

#interstella 5555 #shep interstella 5555 #10 minute headcanon round #shep #headcanons

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meg-fredddd · 2 years

Text

Bradley Bradshaw ~ Scarf

Based on Taylor Swift’s All Too Well (Ten Minute Version)

I walked through the door with you. The air was cold, but something about it felt like home somehow. And I, left my scarf there at your sister's house, and you've still got it in your drawer even now

We finally made it to his house, after a few weeks of dating, he decided to introduce me to his sister - well chosen sister - and her fiancé. Erin Mitchell's opinion of me was what I considered to be the most important opinion. They were so close and I knew her opinion was important to Bradley.

The drive was beautiful to his sister’s upstate New York home, the leaves finally changed color and the air was crisp and cool. My nerves completely disappearing because I was with him. His hand rested on my upper thigh, the other on the wheel, smiling at me like I'm the most beautiful sunset over the ocean. I hide my flushed cheeks under my scarf, but he gently pulls it down.

"Don't hide your blush, it's so cute on you." He leans over, mumbling in my ear and I shake my head with a smile.

“No, it isn’t. Pay attention to the road,” I giggle and he pulls away, smirking. I know that he knows how he effects me, and he plays into that all the time. It's like we're two teenagers who can't seem to get enough of each other, stuck in the puppy dog phase, ignoring any possible red flag.

By the end of dinner, I was so distracted that my scarf stayed on the coat hanger after we left. I was excited how nice his sister was, and I was excited to get back home for other reasons.

Oh, your sweet disposition, and my wide-eyed gaze, we're singing in the car, getting lost upstate. Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place, and I can picture it after all these days. And I know it's long gone and that magic's not here no more, and I might be okay but I'm not fine at all. 'Cause there we are again on that little town street, you almost ran the red 'cause you were lookin' over at me. Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Days later, we went on a random adventure, just driving to get away from the city I call home. The leaves finally starting to fall signaling the upcoming change in seasons. We started leaving the puppy dog love phase, he spent more time with his pilot friends, refusing to introduce me. It felt like I was doing something wrong, but being in the car with him, singing along to the radio, dissipated all my fears. The world could be falling apart around us, but we wouldn’t know. Our eyes were blind to everything except for each other.

I slightly hated the fact that the top of his Jeep was down, my hair gets so knotted after a drive, but it meant spending time with him.

We approached a small, sleepy, one stoplight town, and I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my head. I look over, smiling at him, until I see the light change out of the corner of my eye.

“Bradley! Bradley, red light!” I panic and he slams on the breaks, nearly running the only red light this town has. After recovering my breath, we burst into a puddle of laughter. “You almost ran the red because you were looking over at me!”

“I was looking at the most beautiful thing in this town, sorry.”

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red. You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed, and your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the tee-ball team. You told me 'bout your past thinking your future was me, and I know it's long gone and there was nothing else I could do. And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to.

His mom lived in the next town over, so we made a stop. I wanted to visit the person who brought life to the man I loved. She told me about his love for baseball that started when he was young. How he was so good, he could've went pro, but flying had his heart. I smiled adoringly, looking over to Bradley, he was still just as cute as he was as a kid. He traded in his childhood glasses for the aviators he always wore, hiding his true feelings shown in his intoxicating irises. His mom telling me that I was the first girl he brought home made me think we had a long future ahead of us, that this love was serious enough to survive any length of time he spent away for a mission. But he has yet to say those four letters.

And you were tossing me the car keys, "fuck the patriarchy" keychain on the ground, we were always skipping town. And I was thinking on the drive down, any time now "he's gonna say it's love," you never called it what it was 'til we were dead and gone and buried. Check the pulse and come back swearing it's the same after three months in the grave. And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you, but all I felt was shame and you held my lifeless frame.

After dinner we walked out to his Jeep and he let me drive back for once, tossing me the car keys, but I’m a terrible catch. They fall onto the ground, inches in front of my feet. I notice the little keychain I bought him as a gag gift proudly on display. It felt like a true partnership. Like there was an unspoken trust between us that couldn't be broken.

Driving back, it was starting to feel like we were the most in love we ever were, and that was most likely the case. It would be the last time I ever got to drive the convertible, and I would never hear the three words I wanted to say so bad. Three words so small, yet so impactful. The words that can burn larger than any fire, but die faster than the speed of sound. Thinking about it now, I know that it was the last time our hearts would beat for the other. Our love would die without a known cause.

I wish I could hold him one more time, but he would never feel the same way for me again.

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night. We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light. Down the stairs, I was there. I remember it all too well, yeah. And there we are again when nobody had to know. You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath. Sacred prayer and we'd swear to remember it all too well, yeah.

Once we got home, he put on a jazz soundtrack, something his dad used to listen to. He lost his dad when he was only four, but his dad left behind his record collection for Bradley. Bradley has always felt connected to his father through the music he listens to.

I started preparing a late dinner, pulling the ingredients I need from the fridge, until he pulls me back and turns me to face him, hands on my waist. He sings along with the song playing on the record player and we dance around, the only light flooding the space of the kitchen coming from the open fridge. It was one of the last moments of happiness we would have, I wish I would've known.

"Soon, but I just want to keep you to myself right now." From the way he says that, I know he hasn't mentioned me to them. My mind spins as I think "Is this love as real for him as it is for me?" I don’t want to be his dirty little secret.

And maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much. But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up. Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well. And you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest. I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here 'cause I remember it all, all, all too well.

Only days later, we got into the worst fight over how he treated me around his friends the first - and only - time I got to meet them, like he's too cool for me. Like the words we shared at night or when we were alone meant nothing to him. So I stormed out like a child, running away as fast as I could.

But when he called later that night, all my defenses wore down, crumbling to the ground. We made up in the late hours of the night, kissing and touching each other like there was no tomorrow, to only break up the next day. He gave no reason, but while my body felt used, my heart felt broken all over again.

It didn’t last long though, he was on my doorstep with a bouquet of roses not even a few hours later. “I’m sorry.”

They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new Hell every time you double-cross my mind. You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine, and that made me want to die. The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you? Not weeping in a party bathroom, some actress asking me what happened, you. That's what happened, you. You who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes, sipping coffee like you're on a late-night show. But then he watched me watch the front door all night, willing you to come, and he said, "It's supposed to be fun turning twenty-one".

Winter was my favorite time of the year, it meant that it was finally my birthday. And this year’s winter was the most important, because I was finally going to be 21. So when we got in a small fight the day before my birthday, I didn't think he would miss my party. Not after he charmed my parents endlessly a few weeks ago. I watch the door, ignoring all my friends who came to celebrate me, waiting to watch him walk in.

But I should’ve known it was going to be over after he bailed on a party later that week we were supposed to go to. I shouldn't have been comforted by someone I didn't know because he ditched me twice in one week. Both times I spent more time watching the door for him to magically appear, carrying a bouquet of flowers, apologizing for being late, greeting me with a kiss. But it never happened. I drowned my sorrows in a glass of red wine at the party, trying to disappear.

"It's not going to work out," Bradley states, days after the second party. I only see him because I begged him to come over so we could talk. Talking turned into kissing, making up, and fucking. All before he finally says those six words, strung into a sentence that cuts me like a knife.

"What? What do you mean by that? Did everything that just happened mean nothing to you?"

Looking away he mumbles something along the lines of the age gap - five years - was too much for him to deal with and that I acted like a child. I never asked anything of him in our relationship, just that he show up for my birthday.

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it. I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it. After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own, now you mail back my things and I walk home alone. But you keep my old scarf from that very first week, 'cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me. You can't get rid of it, 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah. 'Cause there we are again when I loved you so, back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known. It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well. Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all. Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all. It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.

I'm lying in my bed, tissues strewn across my bedroom floor from angry sobs, thinking about how foolish I was to love someone who could never love me back in the same way. How I lost the best part of me to someone I thought I would be with forever. The person I gave everything to. Sleepless nights spent making love to one another, and only wearing his flannel in the morning. Then a package arrives, adding salt to the wound, a cruel reminder of how committed I thought we were to the other. My things that I left at his place from those nights are inside, solidifying the end of a once beautiful relationship. The only thing missing being my favorite scarf, maybe his sister kept it, but I'll never know.

And I was never good at telling jokes, but the punch line goes "I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age". From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones, I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight. And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? Just between us, did the love affair maim you, too? 'Cause in this city's barren cold, I still remember the first fall of snow, and how it glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well.

I look out the window at the snow falling, covering the NYC streets we were walking together just weeks ago. I check my phone and scroll through social media, before stoping on a post from one of Bradley's friends. He's in the photo, arm around another woman. No, she's just a girl, looking to be my age. I was too young?

Another sob almost comes out, but I instead get up and put on my coat, hat, and gloves. I go for a walk for the first time in two weeks. The cold freezing my tears and despite all the people walking around me, I just feel alone and broken. Is this what true heartbreak feels like? Will I ever get over it?

Just between us, did the love affair maim you all too well? Just between us, do you remember it all too well? Just between us, I remember it (Just between us), all too well. Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there. Down the stairs, I was there, I was there. Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there. It was rare, you remember it all too well. Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there. Down the stairs, I was there, I was there. Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there. It was rare, you remember it. Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there. Down the stairs, I was there, I was there. Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there. It was rare, you remember it. Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there. Down the stairs, I was there, I was there. Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there. It was rare, you remember it.

As I walk, I think about every moment we had, trying to piece together where it took a turn for the worst, because I remember every moment we had together, it's tattooed on my brain. Does Bradley feel how I do right now? Is he thinking about the moments we shared, the car rides and stolen kisses? Or his he with that other girl, doing the same things we did when we were together.

I stop in a coffee shop, pulling out the notebook I stuffed in my bag, and start writing down every detail. It feels cathartic, like I'm finally mending my shattered heart. The pieces fitting back together, albeit not perfectly, like a glass that was dropped on the floor.

As I write, I know in my heart that he remembers everything, and that he may regret what happened. But I realize that yes, it hurts and I loved him with everything in me to only be the one with her heart broke, yet I wouldn't change a thing.

I don't notice Bradley walking past the coffee shop, I don't notice the look on his face when I sees me, how he almost comes in and tries to fix things, or how he walks away after watching me for a moment because he knows what we had couldn't be fixed. It couldn't be brought back to life. And I never get another message or call from Bradley Bradshaw because we both remember what happened all too well.

#top gun #top gun maverick #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster top gun #rooster x reader #miles teller #rooster x y/n #rooster bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw fic #Spotify

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whumpfish · 2 years

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Allergic Reaction: Severe

A whump reference post

So I'm deathly allergic to peanuts and this is how my visit to the state fair went... I'm enjoying a funnel cake my mom brought me when something red on the wall catches my eye.

All Our

I crane my neck a little, finishing it off.

Products Are

Surely not... right? I grab my cane and stand up.

Fried In

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh fuck.

Peanut Oil

Oh boy. And I just ate the wholeass thing.

I can't feel anything right away, but I know from experience it takes 15-30 minutes to really hit me. Luckily I always carry benadryl and my auvi-q (like an epi pen but affordable), so I grab 2 benadryl right away and toss them back to slow the reaction.

At 3 minutes the interior of my mouth behind my teeth starts to burn. Just-ate-a-jalapeño burn. At 5 minutes it's spread to the roof of my mouth. At 10 minutes it starts creeping down my throat.

It keeps continuing down my throat, and as it does the burn goes from jalapeño to habanero to ghost pepper. It's everywhere. My gums, the inside of my cheeks, under my tongue, to say nothing of my esophagus.

The itching starts somewhere between 15 and 20 minutes. It begins deep inside my ears, then my scalp, then the back of my neck. Then my arms and torso.

At 25 minutes I'm scratching my head, digging at my ears. I'm ready to rip the damn things off they itch so bad.

At 30 minutes the itching has spread to all of my skin. I'm itching in places I didn't know it was possible to itch. My teeth itch, the cartilage in my nose itches. All my joints start aching. I can still breathe, which is nice, but it means all I can do is take another benadryl.

At 35 minutes the joint pain has progressed from "ow" to "I have rheumatism and the storm of the century is 10 minutes away." My senses start going nuts. The sunlight, even indoor lights are blinding. Every noise is a speed metal band having a concert in my ear canals.

Everything outside itches and everything inside burns. I'm miserable, doubled over in my chair, what's shaping up to be a huge headache forming behind my eyes. But the benadryl keeps me breathing.

For about 5 more minutes. Then my throat starts to close up in little squeezing pulses, and I know despite my early action it's fixing to be thigh stab o'clock. I live in the US, so the awareness of how expensive an overnight stay at the ER on iv steroids following said stab is, and that it's my mom who's going to have to pay for it, gives me a complicated mashup of guilt-fear-frustration-anxiety.

I can't remember the last time my exposure to peanut products was this bad. The last accidental exposure that had me going to urgent care was when I bit the tip off a green tea pocky without reading the box. This time it's a wholeass cake. With my leaky gut and shit immune system, I'm in for it. Even with the requisite rescue needles, I'm worried. The process is still happening. Just in slow motion.

My kingdom for a thermos of activated charcoal.

My mom gives me her water bottle after I drain mine trying to ease the burn. She's hoping dilution will help too, but it's not doing much. She gets me a couple more from the kiosk.

They're ice cold. Like. Ice cold. The kind of cold I would normally let sit for half an hour before drinking because freezing water hitting my stomach has always made me nauseous. But then I realize that might be the best way out of this.

I chug three in a row. Then I lie down on a bench in the recovery position with my hoodie over my head to block the overwhelming light. I can't tell if what I'm feeling is my usual queasiness or just more of the reaction, but I decide to go for it and pull my knees in hard to my chest. [Emeto cw for the next paragraph alone. Skip it if it squicks you.]

XXX

It works, and I proceed to be sick into a bag intermittently over the next 5-10 minutes until I'm completely empty.

XXX

The relief once it's no longer in my system is almost immediate. The ever increasing crescendo of inflammation skids to a halt. It's like air being let out of a balloon. The pressure in my head dissipates. My nose is running like mad but it's better than the alternative.

It's been about 6 hours now. My chest still hurts. I can't eat without pain yet--trying feels like rubbing steel wool across a fresh wound. I'm going to need to sleep with my top half up at 30 degrees minimum to help me keep breathing okay. I'm exhausted, probably going to bed after this...

But I hope this was at least useful to y'all.

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zakoria · 2 years

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In 2013, My immediate family move 12 hours away from the rest of the family. All alone in the middle on no where not knowing anybody. I was 12 and starting middle school. I literally did not know a anybody, and I just came from Tennessee. I had never seen anything like this. I promise you if you go anywhere in the south and go up north or vise verse it’s too different world. Like I really can’t explain it but I can feel it. It was time when everyone in the family all 6 of us, had to rediscover ourselves in this new world. Me being right at puberty age made this transition especially awfully. I felt so alone having no idea of my idea, there were so many different things going on. These were not the southern country people I knew. I felt like an alien. I always just wished I could have just stay in tennessee but the lessons I grew to learn in the isolation were needed I need to see a different perspective to appreciate where I am now. We moved back at the perfect time and I’m so glad to be home

Now As I Pondering on my relationship with family, specifically the way my parents relationship with relative shaped my relationship with them. As I become an adult and formed my own personal relationship I feel resistant meant that my parents kept me from family growing up. The way I wasnt able to build any relationship with my cousin after middle adolescence. I’m growing up and learn all the things I missed thinking why was I kept from this. I would have been completely different if I would have stayed home.

The biggest loss is in time. The time Lost with those people. Those were year that have the most meaning. The years you really remember and I didn’t have anything to remember. Beside from when I was really young I have no pictures from my teenage years with my family.

With the loss of my dear Mummum, I can’t stop replaying the time I lost with her. I went from seeing her every other month at least cause she lived in Memphis bout 4hr away 6 in her time, to only seeing her maybe once a year. In her last 10 year I count a count every time I spent with her because of the rarity in those moments. In her last 6 months of living I probably spent every other day with her. The tragedy that the time my Mummum was 10 minutes away was in her last months. I was the oldest granddaughter and I knew how to take care of her daily needs. My Mummum was disabled in February from a stroke and lost her ability to speak imagine a woman who was never quit talking now mostly silence. That was the most painful part but I tried to cheer her up by talk her head off as she would do me. When I would say something crazy enough to get a response or make her smile, it made me feel so good. I used to just lay on her in her final weeks and she would put her head on mine and I would just crazy because I knew it was coming but I don’t know when. She always told me she loved me. Even she hadn’t spoke my whole visit when I would leave she always said I love you.

I have never lost someone. Nobody close to me or anybody I have ever felt deeply for has passed. I don’t know what grief feels like I just can’t stop thinking I’ll never see her again. I’ll never talk to her again. She was my Angel and My butterfly. I admired my Mummum and longed for her when she wasn’t around. No matter what made everything better. She just did. I still haven’t gotten to a point when I can think about her without crying. It’s only been a little over a monthly and I want to just move on. But you don’t just move on from stuff like this. I am now also reflecting on the way I view people who have suffered so much loss because I will never be the same. No matter how hard I try to go to how it was before she passed I can’t. right now it’s good days and bad days.

I’m trying to rush the process of getting back to normalcy but that’s not going to come unless I start getting this stuff off my chest. Maybe next time I won’t have so much baggage

Rest in Paradise Mary Darlene 2E🤍🦋

#tumblr #art #death #butterfly #diary entry

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violentivy · 2 years

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I haven't said much about this because I was protecting my step kids from having to hear about this any more.

But, my silence isn't helping them. It's only helping to keep up appearances for their Mother.

I'm not protecting that Hag anymore. Also, my step kids aren't on here, they are on Twitter, so Tumblr gets to hold my trash.

So, I've not been shy about talking about my situation with my birth kids, to the point I'm pretty sure my birth kid unfollowed me at some point, which, I don't blame him. It gets really annoying when my brain would only sing one song for like 10 years or whatever.

So, I have 3 step kids. One is 19 as of this writing, and 2 are twins, who turn 17 in September. (They are almost exactly six months younger than my oldest son, talk about weird.)

I've been actively avoiding conflict about these kids for years now, not because they aren't worth fighting for but simply because it wasn't my fight. Their other step parent is very overbearing and the least thing I wanted for them was being actively fought over by 2 people who aren't even their parents.

I want to say it was around April this year when we first started hearing the stirrings of "Mom and J are trying to move to Florida. We aren't going with them."

Which, ok. I understand the want to move somewhere warmer to facilitate your healing better and a place where your partner's parents live. Like, I get that completely.

"We aren't going with them." would be enough to stop any self respecting parent in their tracks.

But this bitch has absolutely no self respect. None. At all.

This situation forced me to face my own life and decisions head on. The fact that, although coerced, I did stand in front of a court of law and gave my children away because I thought I was protecting them from harm. I was told the kids would be put into "the system" and be separated from one another until the end of time if I didn't do the "Responsible" thing and give them away.

"To fight" my lawyer said "would ensure a much worse life for your children."

Any Mother, I believe, when faced with those circumstances would do what I did, even if they knew it meant that they'd miss their kids growing up. Even though it breaks their heart.

In June, the other parents went to Florida to visit family and go scope out some places. Late July the house was put on the market and sold 4 days later. We didn't even have a firm plan as to who was going where yet. I'll explain.

Our house is rather small and isn't really a great place for a bunch of kids to live all at once. We wanted to make it work of course. We've been trying to get things in order all summer. But, the twins both love their school in the township about 20 minutes north of here, and they don't love being up at 5am.

So twin number 2 is living part time with her girlfriend and twin number 1 is living part time with my partner's Dad. My partner's Dad who just lost his wife last September.

The intention is, the twins live in their temporary places over the week, then come home to our place on the weekends. I would feel more comfortable if they could be here full time, but I understand the utility in their actions.

Lady 19 has been living here full time since 2021, although most of that time she lived in her dorm at a college in Cleveland.

She is starting at a local school this fall, and it appears may not even have to take out loans to do it. So, she will continue to be our full time resident, as well as her boyfriend who is here practically the whole time she is. Yes, we can talk all day about codependency, but her life is not mine to lead.

The other parents closed on their Michigan house about 3 weeks ago, and are expected to vacate their current home by September 12. Cuntbag McMoveface has done nothing but gotten all the way up our assholes as of late, saying she's putting together a binder with insurance etc, like we aren't going to take care of the kids. She refuses to sign the friend of the court paperwork that would enable us to give the kids their child support directly (because she wants a cut of it.)

She forwards message after message from the schools. And I emailed, "hey, how do we get you off of this so that you are no longer burdened by it?"

You know I didn't get a response. I'm giving her until she leaves to dissolve the FOC paperwork and if she doesn't. it's lawyer time, Baby! Maybe you think you can fuck with me, because I'm quiet and I stay WAY in the background.

Maybe you assume that because I was forced to give away my kids you'll find some sympathy here.

I am not entirely sure what you have taken me to be, but I would never willingly abandon my kids if I were not in extreme duress. The idea of it is unspeakable to me.

All this has done is filled me full of Mama Rage.

I feel like a goddamn pterodactyl, in that I just want to go into a blind rage, fly and scream. I want to make everything right for everyone. I already know I can't.

So today while my partner is at work I will go to the local coffee place to get myself breakfast, then start tidying up. I will start figuring out how to reconfigure my home to accommodate our 3 part time residents. I will likely go to the gym too, because in order for my mind to be strong, so must be my body.

It breaks my heart to think about all of the milestones I've missed in my kids' lives. I didn't get to see my youngest off to kindergarten, or my oldest into middle or high school, or coach my middle guy through choir in middle school. I feel like I missed their whole lives.

I would have never given them away were it not under extreme duress.

And this bitch is just... leaving her kids behind where she thinks my partner and I won't take care of them. she really fucking thinks she is leaving them on their own.

and that. that is what angers me. Why the hell would you consider leaving your children alone? what the actual fuck is wrong with this bitch?

In either case, my work is cut out for me. My heart hurts for them.

And I'll end with a story. One year, we took the kids on vacation with us. We went to the West side of the state with our old chocolate lab, loaded both cars and brought my daughter and the 3 steps.

When we pulled up to our campsite one evening, a boat had parked in our spot. I backed up my Fiesta to the boat, (which was easily 3 times the size of the car) then loudly proclaimed "My boat now, bitch!" to try to get the attention of whomever parked the boat.

Welp, "My kids now, Bitch!"

You no longer have any say in their lives.

Welcome to the miserable feelings I warned you about when you had the raw audacity to complain that you couldn't buy your kid "anything" for their birthday because money was tight.

Try not being able to say "Happy Birthday" to your kid, let alone be able to buy them anything that doesn't end up locked in a parent's room somewhere.

Welcome to the hell of your own creation. I have no sympathy for the likes of you. I have no mercy. If you wrong my new children, I will punish you severely. You will be lucky if they don't block you, as they see your deception for what it really is.

I don't know how we are going to make any of this work, but I do know that I have the skill to do it. Once the trauma monkey in my brain wakes up, I will do amazing things. Any... Day... Now...

#a witch's wisdom #doingitwrong #Abandonment #no mercy #parenting

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myfanfictiongarden · 7 months

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The Words Spoken, The Mind Healed- Dracula (1897)

Because we were left out of the evening of 25th of September

----

Mina Harker´s Journal

26th of September- Early morning. The clock had just stuck half past eight as Jonathan went out of doors to bring over the good professor from his hotel to breakfast at our place. Because I will have a few minutes before they arrive, I shall put down what went on yesterday evening, my head full of thoughts and impressions that are so convoluted and entangled, that it seems like I carrie the Gordian knot itself and desperately need Alexander's sword to make end of it. To think that all is true…

After professor Van Helsing left to read the manuscripts at his room in the hotel, I was left again with Mary alone in this big house and decided to finish bookkeeping that needed to be done, but had a hard time concentrating. Yet, I was thankful for the distraction, for while concentrating on figures and numbers my mind stayed clear for a while of other thoughts that might have distressed me if dwelled on too long without rest. After I was finished with the calculations of expanses for the next week it was time to think of supper. A letter came from Van Helsing that lifted a heavy weight from my mind yet brought dark dread upon me as well. Jonathan was sane, my dear beloved the brave man I always thought him to be- but his captor was then real as well, as were the other beings of his kind, and he in London. While I sat down to compose an answer, a telegram arrived just at that moment from Jonathan, telling he would be back with the last train at 10:15, so Mary and I agreed on the meal, which I was to have earlier and later on then only tea and some biscuits as to keep him company while he sups. Night came and the last rays of sunlight disappeared behind St. Peter, the hours passing by too slowly. By 10 o’clock I had abandoned both the novel I had attempted to read, the printed letters morphing into bats and beasts and wolfs, as well as the needle work that hanged limply in my hands, and so kept watching through the window for his form to arrive and bring me peace.

Finally the knock on the door and a moment later I there to open it. Seeing his face, if even in the dim light of the hallway lamp, made my heart easy and some tears of joy about to sprung, so I drew my arms around him in embrace last he should see them.

“I am so glad you are back home.”

“Me too. I missed you, even if it was only one day.”

“Did you have a pleasant journey? Wait, let me help you. Mary has left some cold lamb and vegetables so you can eat right away.” With his coat and hat sat off I began to hasten to make the dining room ready, but he insisted late supper in the kitchen would do just as well.

“You are too humble for a lawyer.” I told him while he took the first bite after having set up the table by himself, like if he were still a simple clerk and not the master of a nice house.

“You are right. From tomorrow on I´ll set up the household as that we should live like the Tsars in the Winter Palace.” I knew he was jesting and loved him the more for it.

While he ate I asked him more about how his trip to Launceston went and if his client was satisfied, and he told me as much of his work as he could, continuing later to describe the picturesque town and landscape he saw from the train.

“How was your day?” He asked.

“I had a visitor today. You know the gentleman that wrote me concerning Lucy’s passing? He was her doctor and is the mentor of one of Mr. Holmwood´s friends. Wishing to learn more about her illness he received permission to read her letters and diary, and so came upon my name and wanted to meet me as to ask about our stay in Whitby.”

“I'm sorry that you should have such a distracting visit, she was such a dear friend of yours.” He said and placed his hand on mine in a gesture of comfort. I went on-

“He also asked me about you.”

“About me?”

“Yes, in the letters to Lucy, and my diary kept in Whitby, there was much mention of you. He asked me about your business trip and your health, and feeling bold in his presence I gave him your journal to read. He says- he says its all true.” My voice went to a whisper at the last part and the words hung now in the air, silence following them. He moved his hand from mine, his eyes widening for a moment, before his look settles on his half empty plate and stays there, long heartbeats without movement.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please don’t be angry with me! You gave me your journal to keep and I promised you, upon my soul, that I shall have it safe, to only read if duty commands it, and I have kept my promise, for when that episode caught hold of you in London it became necessary to learn the cause of it, the cause of it all to save you from further distress!”

“It is all true, so I am sane.” He whispers finally, and before I know what’s happening he has moved his chair to mine and taken hold of both my hands in his, bringing them to his lips and kissing feverishly.

“My Mina, my darling Mina, most beloved in the world! What a blessed husband I am in you! But you, you had read it all, and must know now that I would battle all these demons again, imaginary or real, just to make it to you. It pains me, pains me so that you had to witness that horrors even if only in writing, yet part of me is glad to have a confidante in your collected mind.” We kissed, and tears streamed down both our faces.

It was getting late so we decided to move upstairs to our room, leaving the kitchen for Mary to clean in the morning. It was simply by going through the motions that I dressed for the night, glad when finally under the covers and Jonathan sitting by my side. The bells were toiling midnight through the silence of the night as we both waited for our mouths to form a coherent word.

“Tell me.” I said at last, and so he did. It was only a shorter account of his journey and his stay at the Count's castle, but hearing it from his own lips made it even more horrifying. He would stop at times, as if battling with himself and his memory to distinguish what had really happened and what might have been imagined, at times worried he might shock me too much, but he did not need to say everything in order for me to understand.

“And when I thought it all had just been an awful dream brought upon me by fever, and sure I had passed the worst, I saw him there across the street, in London, walking among people like he were a man too. And while he didn’t see me, I could see his eyes, forever burned into my mind as their were, so blazing red, like- like…”

“Red like the blood red setting sun.” I said as a memory washed over me.

“How do you now?” He asked, noticing my expression change as frightful realisation finally settled upon me.

“Because he was there that night with Lucy.” I told him finally the whole story of my stay by the sea, and that awful night that I had found her lying on our bench up by the old churchyard. He listened patently as I told of all her instances of sleepwalking that followed, of her ebbing spirits and the rattle of wings at night at our window.

“What ever illness she acquired there, he must have brought it with him. To think her sweet nature in his presence…”

“It truly is an illness that consumes body and soul. Don’t cry my darling, for what ever misplaced guilt you may feel- yes, I say misplaced for I know you already blame yourself for not having protected her better- it matters little when he sets his mind, believe me, I know from being in his presence and in the one of these frightful women, although that word is unfit to describe them just a he is little a man himself. I know not what he is, or what they are, nor what any of it means, but if this professor Van Helsing has as much wisdom as you say- and he seems to know a deal more than us poor people from Exeter- he will bring light into this terrible darkness and peace to our minds. There may be yet a way to fight this evil, and I am ready to take up my sword like St. George did when facing the dragon.” His voice was even and strong, and I could see a change in him, his old strength of mind returned.

Full of gratitude for seeing him not doubting his mind anymore, I leaned closer and kissed him gently.

“What ever we will have to face, we'll face it together. “

#I needed something sweet between the two of them #especially with what is coming soon for them #Mina&Jonathan are goals #<333 #bram stoker´s dracula #fan fiction #my fanfiction #my writing

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