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Chasing Shadows

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Football Player!Ellie x Classy fem!reader

Synopsis: Haunted by past mistakes and paralyzed by the feeling of being vulnerable, Ellie finds herself determined to win you back. Finding it hard to possibly feel a genuine liking to you, what was once just a bet turned into something more. Following you to a summer camp, will you be finally forgive her and open your heart once more?

wordcount: 8, 265 PART I: PART II: PART III

The street was bathed in the soft glows of the street lights, illuminating the face of the person who betrayed you tonight. You shook your head in disappointment, eyes brimming with hot, wet tears from a mixture of sadness and anger.

“Please…” Ellie’s voice quivered, lips trembling as she tried walking towards you. But you immediately retracted, one foot stepping backward, making Ellie stop in her tracks. “Let me explain.” She says in a tone with what you believed was regret. If she can even feel something like that.

“What for?” You spat, face growing scorn. “You won, Ellie! You fucking won the bet. It’s done. You’re the king, again. And I bet you’ll enjoy your throne after you wake up, and I hope you do. I hope every time you try celebrating your victory, you’ll think of the person who only showed you nothing but genuine feelings even though everyone warned her not to do so.” You wiped your tears harshly.

Ellie sighed, trying to keep her tears at bay, not wanting to show what she truly felt inside. Sorrow. Pain. Darkness. “Let me make it up to you, Yn…”

You repeatedly shook your head, “Haven’t you done enough, Ellie?!”

“I want to fix things with you, please!” She begged, wanting to hold both of your hands and kneel in front of you. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t go near you, you wouldn’t let her.

“Was that part of the bet too?”

“No, no!” Ellie blinked rapidly. “I like you…” She admitted, eyes beating loudly. This was the first time she’d ever say it, and it’d almost feel so good vocalizing it in the air if it weren’t for this ugly situation you two were in.

“How do you expect me to believe that?” Your jaw clenched, internally scolding your heart for still fluttering at her words. You turned around, walking away immediately. Your footsteps echo through the pavement, and you can hear Ellie calling out for you.

“Wait!” Ellie called out, voice trembling with emotion that you couldn’t decipher. “Just at least let me drive you home, please!”

Just as was Ellie trying to reach for your arm, you harshly stopped and looked back at her. Meeting her glassy eyes with a pair of angry ones. “Try to follow me, or I’ll never talk to you again!” You shouted before continuing with your tracks.

Ellie felt like her whole world was crumbling in front of her as she walked you away. She felt like her heart was ripping into pieces as she stared at your shaking shoulders, while your hands were wiping away the tears from your eyes.

For once, Ellie felt hopeless.

With each step you take, Ellie can feel her heart shattering into a million pieces, unable to pick them up. The weight of your absence lies upon her shoulder, making it for her difficult to even move a limb.

She watched you call someone else on the phone, crying. You were so close, yet so far from her touch. A sinking feeling washed over her, and a deep realization filled her thoughts: that you are not going to be by her side again. And how can she function when you’re the one who gives her the motivation to wake up every day?

A figure walked out of the car in front of you, approaching you. Ellie watched as the girl gently ran her hands on your hair, trying to soothe your feelings. You wept, however, but she held you gently. Soothing your feelings with words she couldn’t hear.

You walked inside the car, leaving Ellie’s line of vision. The girl you were with looked where Ellie was, finding in her in a pitiful state that Abby couldn’t even tell that this was the same person who ruled the field with such confidence and pride just a few hours ago. The two locked gaze for a minute before Abby decided to walk inside, ignoring the watchful eyes piercing through her back.

As the car left Ellie’s vision, her shoulders dropped. Knees buckling and falling into the ground. She looked down, finally letting the tears that she held on for too long.

And so she cried, for what seemed like forever.

Ellie might have won the game, but her kingdom was nothing but a hollow shell, devoid of warmth and light you brought into her life.

“I knew it was too good to be true.” You overhear Nora in a frustrated tone.

Your brows knit together, forming deep lines on your forehead as you grumble. Your head was aching, and your eyes felt tired and puffy from crying last night. You, however, tried standing up slowly, not having the energy. You opened the door of the guest room, eyes falling on the two figures standing in Abby’s apartment’s kitchen.

“You should not say anything mean to her. She’s in pain.” Abby says in a hushed voice.

“I know but-”

“What are you two doing?” You asked, startling Nora and Abby.

“Just talking,” Nora said, walking up to you.

“Are you okay?” Abby asked, her voice filled with deep concern as she sat you on her couch.

“Yeah, just a little groggy.” You cleared your throat. “What were you talking about?”

Nora and Abby shared looks, the blonde shaking her head, telling her friend not to say something. But the girl only crossed her arms in front of her chest, ignoring Abby’s gaze.

“About last night,” Nora answered.

You looked away, eyes squinting at the blinding light illuminating from the windows. “What about it?”

“I knew she wasn’t good for you. Why don’t you listen to me?” Nora exhaled frustratingly. “I’ve never seen you so devastated, Y/n. It’s deeply concerning.”

“Nora please…” You begged, wanting to drop the topic.

“Why would you think that she wouldn’t do something to you? She’s a deceitful Casanova! I thought you were smart, Y/n.”

“That’s enough!” Abby stood up, lightly pushing Nora away.

Your eyes prickled with tears, looking at her with bitterness across your face. You faced her, standing up abruptly. “Were you happy that you were right? Was that it, Nora?!”

“Hey,” Abby went in the middle, breaking off the starting fight.

“Fuck, yes, I am! I hope you’d fucking listen for me once!”

“Well then, congratulations! Thank you, Nora, for rubbing my mistakes all over my face. I hope it feels so good to be an all-knowing bitch!” You screamed, grabbing your bag at the coffee table and walking out the door fast. You heard Abby going after you, but you ran inside the elevator quickly, ignoring the looks of disgust and concern on the faces of the people beside you as they looked at your state: hair and clothes being a mess, with a tired face, alcohol reeking body, and a pair of bare feet.

“What the actual shit…?” An old man shook his head at you disapprovingly, making you even break down into a fit of tears.

The scented candles you once put on to relax your brains filled your nose, its lavender scent calming your nerves as the steam of hot water streaming down your body, enveloping you in a warm hug. With each droplet falling into every inch of your skin, you wished that it could also wash away the bitterness and resentment that clung to your heart.

Hours had already passed by as you stepped inside the shower, but you remained lost in your thoughts – filling your brain once again with a haze pure of anger and sadness. You tried shaking it off, lightly pulling down your hair as you desperately wanted to forget her stupid face. But your brain couldn’t stop imagining the event last night, how stupidly good she looked, how you stupidly kissed her, and stupidly fell for her antics. Despite everything, you couldn’t stop thinking about how you couldn’t fully hate her.

Your love for her weighed more than what she has done. But still, you couldn’t bring yourself to easily forgive her.

You sighed, plopping down on the bed after the long bath you took, not caring what time or what day was it. Abby got you covered. She texted you once you got to your apartment, saying that you shouldn’t come to the school today and just get some rest. She also apologized for Nora’s behavior and you scoffed at that. She shouldn’t be the one doing that, she’s not at fault. But, oh, well, Nora wouldn’t apologize. It’ll hurt her pride.

You didn’t respond, but Abby texted you once again, saying that Nora made you an excuse letter, saying that you were sick for the day. Abby thought that it was her way of saying I’m sorry, and you just sighed.

She also updated you once she gave it to Mrs. Garcia, catching Ellie’s figure slouched down her chair, head resting on her arms that were laid out on her desk. It’s as if Ellie was in a trance, she says, just staring at the empty chair beside her that was supposed to be your seat. Abby also caught her curious glance at her figure, asking you if she probably recognized her but you couldn’t tell her the exact answer. You were confused, too.

You buried your head in your pillows, staring at the ceiling. You can imagine how pitiful Ellie looks, and for once, you’d offer millions just to hear her thoughts.

Ellie immediately threw herself on the couch in her shared apartment with Dina, feeling the exhaustion penetrating to the very core of her being, leaving her feeling drained and depleted – both mentally and physically. She buried her face in the soft plush of the pillows, sighing heavily. She didn’t tell anyone about what happened between you two, and she very much ignored every single one of her teammates, not wanting to feel like the total sore loser. Especially with Dina who has been telling her not to do this since the day she knew about the bet. Ellie could imagine how she would scold her for hurting you. And maybe she deserves it.

Dina, who was sitting on the floor of the living room, glanced at Ellie while different art materials were sprawled out at the coffee table, including her laptop. “What was that?” She asked, brow-raising up before going back to what she was doing.

“Nothing.” Ellie lied, heart racing at the thought of telling Dina where she went wrong.

“No, not nothing. Stop lying to me and tell me everything.” Her brows knitted, getting frustrated at the hand-made card she was designing. Ellie remained silent, and Dina had to pinch her lightly.

“Ow! Fine!” Ellie sat up, soothing her leg. “Y/n knew about the bet after we kissed.”

Dina stopped cutting the paper and looked at Ellie with pure disbelief, “What?!” She exclaimed, and Ellie only gazed down her lap, fiddling with her fingers, not wanting to see the disappointment on her face. “I knew this wouldn’t go well!”

Ellie sighed once again, “She won’t forgive me.”

“Hell, yeah. You played with her feelings, Els. That’s not fair.” She shook her head repeatedly. “She’s a nice girl, she doesn’t deserve it.”

“I know,” Ellie answers, almost in a whisper. Feeling the guilt consuming her once again. Her chest tightened as if her heart were squeezing, making it difficult to breathe.

Dina sighed, “You must face the consequences of your actions, Ellie. I won’t nag you with all of your shitty decisions in life but I do hope that you’ll reflect on what you’ve done.” Dina looked up at her, meeting her green eyes. “You don’t have to be the same cruel, heartless person everyone believed you to be. Maybe it is hard to admit that you like somebody, and I understand that your feelings might get mixed up and fight with your mind. But that’s what the heart wants, deep inside, that’s what you want, and burying it with the ugly thoughts that you shouldn’t fall in love with someone else because you’re you, wouldn’t do well. Do you understand me?”

Ellie nodded reluctantly.

“Now help me with the invitations and I might give you one.” Dina pats the space beside her, and Ellie can’t help but smile lightly before sitting down on the floor too.

“What’s this for?” She asked, wanting to touch the freshly made one but Dina swatted her hand immediately.

“It’s for this year’s camping trip. It’ll be held next week when the break starts. It’ll be exclusive only to those who attended last year’s camp, and those whom the camp councils will choose who attend. And since I’m this year’s head committee of the arts committee, I am the one in charge of the making of the invitations.” She explained.

“Will Y/n be there?”

Dina sighed, “Yes. She always is.”

“If I help you… can I get an invite?” Ellie looked at her expectantly, eyes widening with a small light of hope flicking around her mind.

“Fine. Only if you’ll be good.”

Ellie almost squealed in glee, immediately gathering the things she would need to make another card. She copied Dina’s work, and with so much skill that it looked better than the one her friend made.

Ellie would do everything she could to make amends, even if it meant making a hundred batches of handmade invitations until midnight.

Ellie couldn’t even lift a limb today, and Dina basically had to pull her away from her bed just so she’d get up. It was an important day, as all of the students who participated and won the university’s national-wide intramurals were going to get recognized in front of everyone. The Rising Phoenixes’ were the highlight of this year, bagging the 6th win of the women’s football team, and will be going to compete internationally.

But Ellie couldn’t handle the humiliation she had been feeling at herself. Sure, her friends didn’t know what happened, and everyone still thinks highly of her, but Ellie couldn’t go in front of the stage knowing that you would be there. Ellie tried calling in sick, but her coach wouldn’t let her not to attend the recognition, knowing that it would be just as important to him as it was to Ellie.

Ellie stood in the middle of the stage, accepting the huge medal that purely recognized her skills and abilities. She tried to get that smug smile on her face, posing for the pictures. And you watched, trying to hide behind the people in front of you, not wanting Ellie to know that you were there. Still silently supporting her even when she did you dirty.

You sighed, excusing yourself as you tried to get away from the swarm of people trying to desperately get in front, admiring the players. Ellie’s heart raced as she craned her neck, her eyes scanning the crowd in search of you. She wanted to get out of this place or else she’ll get suffocated. So she politely excused herself, declining a girl who wanted to get a picture with her.

Ellie needed to find you, to redeem herself after that night, but you seemed like sand — always slipping out of her fingers.

Her breath hitched as she saw a familiar figure, walking through the busy hallway. Ellie’s footsteps rang through the tiled floors as she hurried after you, her heart busting in her chest as longing grew quickly inside her. With each desperate stride to come get you, Ellie silently cursed as you pushed yourself at the swarm of people, making it hard for her to spot you.

“Wait!” She yelled, making other people look her way. “Y/n, please, just listen to me!” She exclaimed, small tears started forming at the corners of her eyes.

Your throat hurts as you pretend not to hear her voice calling out to you. The once hurried walks almost turn into running. You wanted to get away from her. You don’t trust yourself in front of her. You knew that if you were left in a room with Ellie, no matter what she did, she could just tell you that she loves you and you’ll come running back in her arms.

“Please!” Ellie cried out, voice filled with anguish. “I need to talk to you!”

But you remain out of her reach, just always a few steps ahead. Ellie’s heart sank as she realized that you could probably hear her, you just didn’t want to talk to her, you didn’t want to listen to her explanations and apologies.

“Hey, man, that’s alright.” Jesse came beside her, wrapping his hands over her shoulders, gently tugging Ellie away from the crowd.

The girl couldn’t even fight back, she just let Jesse take her wherever he went as her vision blurred, tears started falling down her shirt. Her mind is full of despair. Thoughts of wanting to just catch you, even just for a couple of minutes, and she’ll try to make up for whatever shitty thing she has done to you. But now, as she walked with her head down while a huge medal was sitting around her neck, she felt like a loser more than ever.

Everything after that seemed like a blur. Ellie’s stare was blank as her head rested at Jesse’s car window, just gazing around the scenery with a heavy heart. Ellie vowed to herself not to stop trying. She had to earn your forgiveness, no matter how hard it is.

“I told Dina you were safe with me, and we’re just in our usual hangout place,” Jesse says, sitting at the cold concrete floor of an abandoned beach house. “Luckily, I still have a stock of beers in my car.” Jesse offered her one.

“Thanks, man,” Ellie says, looking at the beach in front of her.

“I’ve never seen you like that before.”

“Yeah, I was surprised as well,” Ellie answered, immediately emptying the first can of beer. She reached out at the box, opening another can.

“Dina told me everything and all I can say was…” Jesse clicked his tongue, lightly shaking his head.

“Yeah, I know, I’m a shitty person.” Ellie nods to herself.

“Nah, I think you’re just a normal person who makes a mistake. I mean, you’re just scared, and I do understand why you did what you did. However, it does not mean that it’s right.”

“Scared?” Ellie scoffed, looking at Jesse.

“What? Did I say something incorrect?” Jesse raised his pointer finger at Ellie’s face.

“Yes, man, I think you’re perfectly wrong,” Ellie answered, raising hers, too.

“Admit it or not, Els, only a cowardly person would do such thing like that,” Jesse says in a serious tone. “Accepting a bet to kiss a girl even if hurting another person’s feelings just to win and for what? Just to make everyone respect you since you’re their captain? Just say it, Ellie. That being a Casanova just shields you from what you truly are because deep inside you’re scared of being vulnerable with someone else.”

Ellie’s jaw clenched, still looking at her friend with knitted brows. She wanted to quip back and say something mean to him, but she knew that Jesse was right.

“You couldn’t fix everything if you can’t even proudly tell that you like Y/n. If you’re going to live yourself trying to hide from everyone about what you truly felt, then you truly won’t change, and Y/n won’t forgive you.”

Ellie sighed, looking down at her lap. Her brain started swirling as she thought about everything. “I guess I just always have to prove myself to everyone. That I can do everything, and no one could hinder that. I’m their captain, and so I should be the one who’s always in control. Not the other way around.” She emptied her second one, immediately opening up the other. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. “I stayed away from affection because I was surrounded by people who think that loving someone was a weakness.”

“That’s not true at all.” Jesse defended. “I think being able to freely admit to someone that you love them was a sign of true bravery. Admitting that you were willing to risk everything for them isn’t weak.” Jesse put a hand on Ellie’s shoulder, looking straight into her eyes. “You are not weak.”

Ellie’s face softened, glancing away.

She sighed, how she wished that the ocean could swallow her whole. Maybe the crashing waves could mimic her troubling emotions. Maybe then she wouldn’t feel lost and alone.

The school year had ended, and the warm sun bathed your apartment in a golden glow. The humidity has been high, sucking all of your energy one by one as doing such simple tasks will have you drenched in sweat. So, here you are, lying on your couch, enjoying your freedom as you stare at the movie on the television, your thoughts flying away.

Abby was out for today, having been running errands that her dad specifically asked her to do. She hated it, going from city to city to talk to someone, get some confidential files, and so on. But, knowing her dad, Abby couldn’t do anything but comply. Besides, her overflowing allowance was his only way of shutting her up.

You and Nora were good now. Two days after your fight, she had been texting to talk to you, putting her pride aside. But you knew Abby had to firmly ask her to apologize to you before she did. You understand her concerns, knowing that she’s just an overprotective friend for you. It’s just that she did that in such a bad way, opening some opportunities for a misunderstanding — which you two had just done. However, you already accepted her apology, making her vow not to do it anymore.

And with Ellie, you did not know what to do. It’s been almost two weeks since that night happened, and the wound is still fresh as that day. You blocked her from everything, not wanting her presence to loom over you. But, it’s not effective as you still couldn’t stop thinking of her. You can’t get her out of your head, images of her face come flashing into your mind, haunting you in your dreams. You tried drowning your thoughts, distracting yourself by reading books, watching movies, and putting your headphones on 24/7, but the sounds of her screams and pleads for you came echoing to your ears no matter what, consuming you whole.

You sighed heavily, trying to focus on the scene on the television to escape everything when a sudden knock came on your door. Surprised and skeptical, you made your way to answer it. Abby was coming this afternoon, but you figured out it wasn’t her because she has your apartment keys.

Opening the door, you found Dina standing on your doorstep, offering a warm smile at you.

“Hey!” She greeted. “I hope I’m not interrupting you,” She said sheepishly.

You immediately shook your head, “No, not really. I was just watching a movie. Come inside!” You opened your door widely, and she stepped in. “Do you want anything? It’s hot outside, I’m surprised you can handle the heat.”

“Any cold drink would be fine, and yes, I don’t have a choice but to do this.” Dina chuckled, following you to the kitchen, and sitting at the barstool as she watched you make a juice.

“What for?”

Dina opened her bag, getting an invitation letter for you. Your eyes dropped to the small piece of paper she slid as you offered Dina the drink which she gratefully accepted.

“Oh, I didn’t know it’ll be too soon.” You said, opening the letter.

“Yeah, the council thought it’d be fun to hold a camp a week after the school had ended. Most of the campers liked to travel in May, and so we decided to hold it in April.” Dina sipped at the juice, looking at you. “How are you? I mean,” She sighed. “I know what happened.”

You cleared your throat, inhaling sharply. It had slipped your mind that Dina is Ellie’s best friend, and she knew everything. Humiliation ran through your face, looking away. “It’s embarrassing…” You admitted.

“I know, sweetie.” Dina placed her hand on top of yours. “I knew about the bet, and I was actually about to tell you everything that night but Ellie butted in. I’ve been warning her since the very first time but she’s persistent on doing it. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” You shook your head, trying your best not to cry. “It’s mine. I should’ve known better than falling for her.”

“Oh, Y/n…” Dina whispered.

You smiled at her through bloodshot eyes, “I’m gonna be at camp. It’ll be a nice distraction from her.”

Dina hissed, “Actually… Ellie’s gonna be there too.”

Your brows knitted. “What?”

“She figured you’d be there.” Dina sighed heavily. “It’s fine if you won’t accept the invite, okay? I’ll just vouch for you-”

“No, no, no.” You shake your head, not wanting to cause Dina any more trouble. “It’s fine. I can just… ignore her.”

“Are you sure?” Dina asked, hesitantly.

“I’ll accompany her there.” Abby suddenly butted in, her presence making you two in shock. Abby flashed Dina a boyish smile before extending her hand, “I’m Abby Anderson.”

“Oh yeah, I knew your father.” Dina smiled. “I’m Dina.”

You looked at Abby, “What are you saying? Your dad won’t agree.”

“He will. He promised that this was the last time he’d given me a task. I’m a free woman now.” She gestured both of her hands in the air. “So,” Abby looked at Dina. “Could I get an invitation? I’m just gonna keep an eye out for my idol Ellie.”

You and Dina exchanged glances.

The sun dipped low on the horizon as you hopped off the bus, scanning your eyes through the scenery in front of you. Nostalgia hit you as you smelled the fresh breeze of the campsite, a place where you spent every year of your summer. You started smiling to yourself, trying to calm your wild heart as the thought of spending the whole week with Ellie started forming.

A small touch at your back made you flinch, pulling you back to reality as Abby’s tall frame stood over you, blocking the rays of the sun.

“I’ve never been into any campsites. Ever.” Abby says gleefully, being amazed at every single thing from the scenery during the bus ride, and here in the camp.

“That’s because you are very rich and you spend your summers in Greece or whatever,” You said.

Abby looked at you, offended. “I’m not very rich!” She argued.

“Yes you are, sweetie, you grew up having a Lamborghini for your school service.” You placed your hand on her shoulder, nose crinkly as you tried not to smile.

At the distance, far from your consciousness, you didn’t know that Ellie was at one of the picnic tables in the distance, trying to ignore the girls who started sitting beside her and trying to flirt with her as she only looked your way. Her eyes darkened, and her jaw tensed as she followed your figure walking beside your friend, Abby, to your respective shared cabin.

Her fist clenched, the weight of guilt and regret tugging down on her like a suffocating blanket. She had messed up, she knew that, but seeing you smiling and laughing with another girl only served to deepen her sense of shame and loneliness.

The lunch continued at the campsite’s central meeting house, where Joan, gladly thanked every camper for participating in this year’s camp. Dina welcomed you and Abby, gesturing to you where she was seated.

Jesse nodded at you, absolutely devouring the piece of croissant on his table. Where he got that when the buffet wasn’t even started, you didn’t know, nor did not bother to ask. Unfortunately, you and Abby were seated in front of Ellie, who was already looking at you intently. Her eyes screamed with frustration and irritation for no one knows what. Her ringed fingers were clasped together at the table, and you gave her a tight-lipped smile, not wanting to stir any trouble and trying to keep it civil.

You looked at Joan, trying to avoid even glancing at Ellie's face.

She looks so good.

How can she make a simple black shirt that good? And oh, not to mention how her tattoos were fully exposed, whilst her auburn hair was in a half-up bun. You mentally scolded yourself for the fluttering feeling in your stomach, muttering curses under your breath.

Abby leaned into you, whispering in your ear. “What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing.” You hushed her.

Ellie watched the interaction in front of her. Her heart sank a little as she looked at how close Abby was to you — something that she couldn’t do.

You intently listened to Joan who was explaining the rules of the capture the flag, especially to those young campers who couldn’t help filling the meeting house with anticipation and excited cheers and chatters for their team. You, Abby, Ellie, and Jesse were assigned to Dina’s team, and Ellie couldn’t stop feeling a small light of hope to have an opportunity to talk to you.

The lunch quickly ended, and everyone was given an hour to get their team’s respective shirts at the tent and to make the team leader strategies to win the game.

Abby excused herself to go to the bathroom quickly, and Ellie found herself walking behind you, her heart pounding in her chest as your familiar perfume filled her nose. Her heart warmed with such longing and desperation, but she couldn’t find the right words and the courage to speak up.

You, however, were fully aware of her presence behind you. You spent many times with Ellie that you can even recognize her shadow. You tried calming your beating heart as you carefully watched your steps going inside the tent, knowing that she was just right behind you.

You took an abrupt stop from walking, making Ellie’s chest bump into your back.

“Oh, sorry.” You quickly apologized, feeling embarrassed.

“It’s fine,” Ellie answered softly, scratching the back of her head.

You grabbed the red shirt, indicating the color of your team, and Ellie did so. As she was about to open her mouth to say something, Abby immediately appeared behind your back.

“Dina says we should now go under the large oak tree.” Abby pointed, cutting the potential conversation between you and Ellie, and you did not know whether to feel relieved or sad.

Frustration boiled beneath Ellie’s skin as she clenched her fists, her nails digging through her palms so hard. She could feel getting annoyed at the presence of the newcomer, her madness bubbling through her heart, threatening to spill at any moment. But as Dina gathered her team, she couldn’t do anything about it, and mentally advised herself not to let her emotions get over her.

With a deep breath, Ellie pushed down all of her anger and frustration. She vowed to herself that she would make things right, and no one could stop her from doing so.

Not Natalie.

Not even the gods.

And definitely not Abby.

The soft rustling of the wind against the leaves somehow made you at ease. After the game started, you tried to quickly make your way to the forest, knowing that this area wouldn’t be covered by the game. Not wanting anyone to catch you, you quickly ran away, hiding in the bushes as everyone made their way where each other’s flag was.

Abby, bless her, didn’t even notice that you weren’t by her side since she was overly enthusiastic with the game as she hadn’t even played it before. And so there she was, running and defending herself as she tried to make her way to the opponent’s flag, enjoying every bit of it.

The familiar forest enveloped you in its embrace, providing a small sense of comfort as you sat on one of the tall trees. You sighed, ears perked up to hear the birds singing, knowing that you were not all alone.

The weight of holding the burden of being a plaything fell slumped on your shoulders, dragging you whole. You bit yourself, trying to face the dilemma of forgiving Ellie. If you choose to give her another chance, you’ll betray yourself. But if you choose to ignore her, you’ll betray your heart.

So what would you do?

Lost in your thoughts, you sighed, massaging your temples while your eyes were tightly shut. The ache in your heart was refusing to go, memories of you and Ellie came running down your thoughts. Unbeknownst to you, Ellie had been searching for your presence, her heart was deep with longing and regret.

A soft crackle of the leaves made your train of thoughts stop, abruptly standing. But before you could even lift a limb, Ellie appeared in the woods.

Your eyes widen, wanting to get away from her as soon as possible. And Ellie noticed how you were alarmed by her, a small pang in her heart as she watched you scramble to your feet. Trying, but failing to go away as she was blocking your way.

“Please… I want to talk to you.” Ellie said, almost in a whisper. She maintained to keep her distance, not wanting to scare you into running away.

“For what, Ellie?” You said, dejected. “Wasn’t that enough? Why can’t you leave me alone.”

“I can’t!” She exclaimed, a lump forming in her throat as she tried not to cry. “I like you, Y/n.”

You laughed with no humor. Despite feeling an ache in your chest, your heart beats wildly against it. Tears started streaming down your face, breaking Ellie’s heart into pieces. “And how could I believe that? You lied to me not even once!”

“I’m sorry,” Ellie says, voice trembling. “I’m so so sorry. Please just give me another chance to make things right. I’ll prove to you that I do like you.”

You did not answer. You couldn’t bring your eyes to look at her gaze. You can’t. It’ll break you more than you’ll ever know. Countless of doubts started forming in your mind, not trusting the words coming from her lips. Uncertainty gnawed on your mind, clouding your thoughts and poisoning your judgment.

“I don’t know, Ellie…” You whispered, your gaze is on the floor. “I want to believe you but I just…” You trailed off, shaking your head. “I don’t know if I could trust you again.”

Tears welled in Ellie’s eyes, blurring her line of vision. The huge weight of your words came crashing down on her, breaking every inch of her body. She hoped she could find the energy to run after you, beg for your forgiveness once again. But faced with the reality, Ellie knew she had to respect your decision. She shouldn’t dictate what you should and should not do. Ellie hurt you, and if it was the consequences of her actions that Dina was talking about, then she’ll gladly face it.

She just hoped that you’d still be there when she changed.

Maybe.

Tension was thick as Ellie remained to keep her distance away from you. Realizing that there’s nothing she can do in the meantime, she wanted to give you some space. It’s the least she can do for you, knowing that what she did broke you in many ways she could ever imagine. Ellie’s heart ached as she took a glance at your puffy face, evidence of how shitty she truly was.

The breakfast were held outside the meeting house, a long table were set up by the camp counselors, providing a very-well decorated table and chairs with different sets of vases with colorful flowers. Dina were as busy as ever, but she couldn’t ignore the slump face of Ellie as she was fixing the chairs.

She didn’t comment on that, even when you and Abby decided to sit at the other side of the table, far away from Ellie. She noted how quiet her friend was, fully knowing that something happened last night. Dina has an idea, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask Ellie or you, not wanting to stir any more conflicts.

“You alright?” Dina asked softly while everyone was done with their meal. Grabbing a garbage bag, she started picking up the paper plates, and the disposable cups and plastics.

“Rough day.” Ellie only answered with a rugged voice, helping her friend out.

“Abby,” Dina called, making the blonde girl look at her with raised brows.

“Yeah?” She asked from the distance, and Ellie tried not to furrow her brows, getting annoyed even by the tone of her voice.

“Can you and Ellie get the garbage bags and throw them at the disposal?” Dina kindly asked, making Ellie’s head turn at her harshly.

“What? Why her?” She asked, annoyance evident in her tone and expression.

“No problem!” Abby beamed.

Dina widened her eyes at Ellie, giving her a warning look. The auburn-haired girl muttered curses under her breath, knowing that she couldn’t do anything about it or Dina would kick her out of the camp whenever she wanted to.

You casually went to Dina, offering her a tight-lipped smile as you helped her clean the area that she was cleaning.

“Would they be friends?” Dina asked, glancing at Ellie and Abby’s backs.

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Abby idolizes Ellie, I don’t know about her though.”

Dina smiled, falling silent for a minute. “Are you okay?”

“Still living. That’s what matters, right?” You joked.

“What’s on your mind?” Dina asked, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“I…” You shut your eyes, shaking your head. “I don’t know if I could trust her again, you know. She told me she likes me. But I don’t know if I could believe that.”

“You could choose not to, Y/n. You could choose to ignore Ellie if you want. Do you?”

“No,” You whispered. “Funny thing is… I can’t do it. Ignoring her would mean hurting myself more. But forgiving her that fast would mean that I’m weak.”

“No, you’re not.” Dina held both of your hands, squeezing it gently. “Forgiving doesn’t mean you are forgetting or excusing her actions. You can do it slowly, let her gain your trust once again, and see if it will work. I have known Ellie since we were kids, and I can tell you how much she truly regrets what she did to you. Did you know she helped me make the invitations until 2:00 in the morning?”

“Really?” You smiled despite the tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

“Yeah, she did. I never saw her that dedicated in my life until you came. Y/n, she likes you. Truly.”

You stared at Dina for too long, nibbling your bottom lip. “Oh yeah?”

“What’s up with you and Y/n?” Abby asked Ellie, tailing her as she dumped the garbage bag forcefully at the pit.

“None of your fucking business.” Ellie glared at her.

“Woah, woah,” Abby said, raising her hands in the air. “What did I do? Why are you pissed?”

“Exist,” Ellie answered sternly. “Listen, dude, why don’t you go away? You already have Y/n, what more could you possibly want from me?”

Abby’s brows furrowed, “I don’t– Oh wait, you think me and Y/n were together? Is that why you’re so mad?”

Ellie muttered a curse under her breath.

“Oh, yes, you did.” Abby giggled but stopped when Ellie shot her a piercing glare. “We’re not together. We’re friends.”

“Friends, huh?” Ellie scoffed.

“Wait– why are you the one who’s getting mad at me? That’s supposed to be the other way around! You hurt my friend, Ellie. And even though I was your super fangirl, nothing about what you did to Y/n was right.”

Ellie stopped in her tracks, almost dropping the garbage bag she was holding. Her jaw clenched as she listened to what the blonde girl was talking about, setting aside her annoyance at her for just a couple of minutes.

“I was the one who pushed her to befriend you. You should be grateful to me,” Abby threw the garbage beside her. “She believed in you, Ellie, just like what she does to everyone. Y/n is a great person and I didn’t know why you just took her for granted.”

Ellie slowly dropped the thing she was holding. She gulped as she made sense of what Abby was saying.

“I know,” Ellie agreed. “I’m a dick. Don’t worry, I’ll stop chasing her for now.”

Abby’s head whipped at Ellie’s direction, “Now when did I say that you should do that?”

“Should I not?” Ellie asked, puzzled.

“No. Just one little push, okay? Just show Y/n that you’re sincere. Can’t you do that?”

“I can,” Ellie nodded, mostly to herself.

“Alright.” Abby smiled, patting her hand on Ellie’s exposed shoulder with the tank top she was wearing. Unbeknownst to the auburn haired girl, Abby smeared dirt on it.

Ellie’s nose flared as she fakes a gag at the smell, “Fuck you, blondie!” She yelled, eliciting a loud laugh from Abby, echoing through the forest-clad area.

The crackling flames over the bonfire perfectly illuminated the different faces of the group who were gathered around it. The adults decided to sneak over to do a spontaneous midnight activity and snacks, bringing different snacks, candies, and even alcohol that they hid from their luggage. Even the camp counselors were around, and some of them came up with the idea to call everyone to come out when the kids were already fast asleep.

You found yourself sitting in front of Ellie, giving you the perfect view of her face, the flickering lights casting a shadow on her face, making her green eyes pop as she watched the dancing flames, seemingly lost in thoughts. She did not even notice that Dina had sat on her left side, along with Jesse who was already opening a bag of chips. She did not even move when a girl you were not familiar with started sitting dangerously close to her, the proximity making your left brow arch slowly. The sad girl elbowed her friend, whispering something in her as she kept glancing at Ellie, a blush creeping on her cheeks.

“Oh, my god, we’re going to grill marshmallows just like what I watched in the movies,” Abby leaned in to whisper at your ear, excitement filling her voice as she clapped lightly.

You were about to say something, when someone yelled to play a game. Clapping his hand to gather everyone’s attention, he started to speak.

“I’m so happy to see old and new faces here in camp. I’m Luke, the vice counselor. A pleasure to meet all of you.” He says. “We’ll go crazy tonight, everyone. Let’s open the booze!”

Everyone yelled in excitement, popping the bottles simultaneously. Everyone started filling the massive container with blocks of ice, different candies, and of course, different mixes of alcohol to create the perfect drink for the night.

“Why don’t we play the game of truth or dare?” The girl beside Ellie suggested, a mischievous glint forming in her eyes as she took a glance at Ellie. The bottle spun, its neck pointing in Ellie’s direction.

“Oh, fun!” Another girl says, an eager smile forming around the corners of her lips. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Ellie answered sternly.

“Boring!” She laughed flirtatiously, making your brows knit. It did not take long for Ellie to notice that your face started growing in pure annoyance, something that she picked up on for being with you for so long. Something inside her stirred, making her sit straight as she tried to ignore your gaze that was boring into hers. Ellie tried to remain looking at the girl who was talking to her, not wanting to lock eyes with you for a moment. “So tell me, Ellie, do you like someone?”

Everyone said “ooh” in unison, waiting expectantly for her answer. Ellie remained silent, her eyes locking with yours for a moment before you looked away, your expression guarded but your heart started beating too fast.

Ellie sighed, taking the hint that you did not want to be involved with her. “Can I just take a drink?” She asks, and everyone laughs, pouring her cup fully.

“Now that’s not boring!” The girl beside her exclaimed, feeling hopeful that she would have a chance on the girl.

You gulped, seemingly puzzled at what you are currently feeling right now. Perhaps, were you disappointed at her answer? Why does a small part of you want for her to express how much she likes you? Even though you made it clear last night that you don’t want her presence near you.

Dina looked at you and she gave you a tight-lipped smile, and you were unsure what that meant.

“Was it just me or did those two girls want to bang Ellie?” Abby asked, looking at them with a curious stare.

“Just shut up, Abs.” You rolled your eyes before taking a huge sip on your cup. The bitterness of the alcohol drew a sharp line on your throat, eliciting a small groan out of you.

The game continued, the dares becoming increasingly daring as the night wore on. But when the bottle’s neck finally landed on the girl sitting beside Ellie, her friend wasted no time in daring her to kiss the person in the group that she found attractive.

With a sly grin, the girl continued to lean towards Ellie. Ellie panicked, taking a glance at you, and was met with a glare from your eyes. She physically recoiled, her tattooed hand pushing her chest to keep her away. Everyone shouted in unison, teasing the girl beside Ellie.

“Don’t do that shit with me,” Ellie glared at her.

“You’re turning me down?!” The girl asked, offended. “Oh, my goodness. No one has ever done that to me! This is so embarrassing. I bet the girl you liked wasn’t even pretty!” She yelled, feeling the tears brimming at the corners of her eyes.

“Actually…” Abby, Jesse, and Dina said in unison.

“This is so ridiculous,” You said, shaking your head as the tension made you feel uncomfortable. You immediately get up, grabbing your cup full of alcohol to take it with you. The crackling sound of the dried leaves filled the air as you walked away, disappearing into a small part of the forest — not far away from the gleaming lights of the camp.

“Y/n?” Ellie asked gently, tailing you.

You stared at her, and part of your brain started swirling as the alcohol slowly consumed you. You leaned into the tree, feeling exhausted at everything as you kept your gaze at her.

“Why didn’t you kiss her?” You asked, challenging her.

“Are you serious?” Ellie laughed sarcastically. “I think I made it clear that you are the only one I like. I still do.”

“Then why didn’t you say it earlier?”

Ellie gulped, “I… don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

You nodded, taking her reason as a valid one. “What if… that’s what I truly want? To hear you shout that you… like me.” You said, voice faltering at the last two words.

“You think I can’t do that?” Ellie asked you back. “I like you, Y/n Y/l/n!” She yelled at the top of her lungs, as loud as she could, her words echoing through the silent night, scaring the birds who were resting on their respective nests.

You couldn’t stop smiling at that gesture, so you tried to move your head away from her gaze, hiding your face. Ellie felt a warmth surging in her heart as she took a step forward at you. She lifted your chin, wide green eyes staring at yours.

“Alright, hear me out.” She says, making both of your brows lift as you anticipate what she’ll say next. “I know messed up… big time and I’m ready to earn your forgiveness. So, here’s my proposal…”

You raised a brow, curious to see what Ellie had in mind. The corners of her lips twitched into a playful smile, her eyes glinting with joy as she outlined her plan in her mind. “I propose to dance in front of you.”

“Jesus.” You shut your eyes, laughing at her suggestion. “You might scare the living creatures in here.” You joked.

Ellie danced, however. Making ridiculous moves as she waved her hips, trying to jiggle her butt. You laughed harder as she tried to mimic Michael Jackson’s moonwalk, but failed as she tripped and fell into a pile of leaves.

“Oh god…” You shut your eyes tightly while smiling like an idiot. Even though her moves were not as good, there’s something about it that you find… charming. You sighed, walking nearer to where Ellie was. You offered your hand to help her stand up, and she hesitantly accepted it.

Ellie gently wiped off the leaves and dirt that stuck on her pants before looking at you once again. The moonlight illuminated your face, making her breath hitch as she finally saw you in this proximity. Something that she never thought she would miss. Ellie can finally look at your face and smell your perfume, and her heart warms as she tries not to kiss you right there and then.

“I can’t believe that you thought I was going to fall for that.”

“Well, did it work?”

You smiled before gripping his collar and smashing down your lips with hers. “Yes, captain.”

taglist: @liasxeatt @darkerstarsstuff @amberputh @bready101 @teawithnosugar @elliesaturnsoftdrink @elliewilliamgfooc @machetegirl109 @lazcylies @kawaiibreadbouquet-blog @missladyhope @stvrs13 @vqxen @mikellie @villainousbear @daribakugo @elliessweetheart @chxrryvalxntins @lulith05 @anyscz @elliessluutt @lively-blues @gasliightt @tphmnv @sofiaaasblog @shiimer @nobodyykxox @disguisedfangirl @sukolover @elliewilliamsblunt @ellishamae25 @marrycv

#ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader angst #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader

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juanarc-thethird · 7 months

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Jaune OF #2

Beacon Academy is in chaos, a manhunt is going on. Most of the female students, and some males, are looking for a sexy man. Target: Jaune Arc. They want him dead or alive, I mean just alive, they need him alive. No one is going to die today… I hope.

Girl 1: Have you seen him?!

Girl 2: He is not in the cafeteria!

Girl 1: Where are you SexyKinght?!!

People search every floor, every room, even every closet. No place is safe for Jaune Arc, but for some reason... they can't find him. Is this the work of an incredible mind that knows how to stay in the shadows or maybe knows how to keep a low profile to fool everyone in their face? Only Oum knows what kind of person they are dealing with.

Girl 1: Wait a minute?

The girl sees a person with blond hair. This makes her suspicious and she decides to investigate who she is.

Girl 1: Hey, wait!

The girl approaches the blond young man. She grabs his shoulder and flips him over in a snap.

Girl 1: Got you! Wait, you're not my SexyKnight.

In front of her was a person who looks like Jaune. The only difference is that he has a big and majestic mustache. His mustache is so beautiful that the girl can't stop looking at it.

Felipe: Hola, my name is Felipe.

Girl 1: Felipe?

Felipe: Si, I am an exchange student.

Girl 1: Exchange student?

Felipe: Yes, I'm here for an academic program.

Out of nowhere an orange haired girl appears with the same beautiful but dazzling mustache.

Gloria: And I am his compañera, Gloria!

Girl 1: Ooookey…. Have you seen this handsome daddy?

She pulls a picture out of her pocket of Jaune choking on a sandwich.

Gloria: Hahaha! They used a good angle for y- Agh!!

Felipe hits Gloria with his elbow right in the ribs and then responds to the girl.

Felipe: No, I have never seen that man in my life. Nunca e visto a ese hombre en mi vida. He looks boring.

She then looks at Gloria.

Gloria: Yo tampoco! (Me neither!)

The girl is confused by Gloria's response in Spanish.

Girl 1: I-I see...

She then puts her precious photo of Jaune in her pocket and takes out a piece of paper and a pen. She writes something on the paper and gives it to Felipe.

Girl 1: If you see him, please call me or send me a message with his location.

The girl leaves with her friend, leaving Felipe and Gloria alone. Felipe throws the piece of paper to the ground and they relax. He takes a deep breath and crouches down as he supports himself on his knees.

Felipe (Jaune): Oh my goodness. I thought they already found us.

In Gloria's case, she is still happy and touching her mustache.

Gloria (Nora): I'm more surprised that these mustaches fooled them. How did you come up with such an amazing idea?

Felipe (Jaune): I'm more worried about the future hunters and huntresses of this academy after we tricked them so easily. I mean, how can they be so clueless?

After a little rest, he gets up.

Felipe (Jaune): Ok, we should focus. There we have to keep moving and we have to get to the Bullhead port without being discovered. Once out of the academy, we can be quiet and you can start a rumor that SexyKnight is someone else.

She stands at attention and salutes him.

Gloria (Nora): Of course my beautiful leader. I will follow him until the end of time.

Felipe (Jaune): I'm still a little mad at you.

Nora pouts at his comment.

They walk down the hall until they reach a new corridor. Jaune looks to both sides and sees a group of students on the left side. He waits for the right moment to slip past them. The students start to walk in the opposite direction from them and Jaune uses that opportunity to continue on his way.

Felipe (Jaune): OK let's go.

They walk quietly to the right. Jaune takes a couple of glances back to make sure no one is following them and to check that the students haven't turned around and seen them. Without paying attention to where he is walking, Jaune bumps into a door that just opened in front of him.

Felipe (Jaune): Agh!

Gloria (Nora): Jefe!!

On the other side of the door a rabbit girl looks out to see what happened and realizes that she hit someone with the door by accident.

Velvet: Oh my gosh!!

She kneels to check if her classmate was hurt.

Velvet: Are you okay? Did you get hurt?

Felipe (Jaune): (Oh Shit! is Velvet! Play it cool Jaune, play it cool!)

He takes a deep breath and gets into character.

Felipe (Jaune): Estoy bien. I'm fine.

Velvet doesn't answer but stares at him as if she's trying to solve a puzzle. He notices this and is concerned.

Felipe (Jaune): I have something on my face? (Does she know who I am?)

Those words make Velvet react and she blushes from how embarrassed she is for staring at him.

Velvet: I'm so sorry, you look like the guy I'm looking for. Have you seen a tall boy who is blonde named Jaune? You may have seen him in one of your classes.

Felipe (Jaune): Sorry, I don't know that hombre.

Velvet turns to see the girl next to Jaune.

Velvet: How about you? Have you seen a guy with that description?

Gloria (Nora): Que?

Velvet: I see, thank you very much. Umm…let me help you up.

Velvet shows him her hand, Jaune takes it, and he gets up.

Felipe (Jaune): Gracias

Velvet: You're welcome… Well, I'm leaving. Sorry again for hitting you with the door.

Felipe (Jaune): Don't worry, I hope you find the person you're looking for.

Gloria (Nora): Adios!!

Each of them went their own way. Suddenly velvet feels like she kicked something. She looks at what it was and sees that it is a phone. She reaches down to pick it up.

Velvet: Hey, I think you dropped your phone!

Just as she picks up the phone, the screen lights up, showing an image of Team JNPR. Jaune checks his pockets and realizes that it is his phone. Unaware that Velvet saw the image, he went to retrieve it.

Felipe (Jaune): Muchas gracias, I didn't realize I dropped it.

Jaune holds out his hand to receive his phone.

Velvet: No problem...

She stands up, turns around, and in a single motion she rips off Jaune's fake mustache.

Velvet: ...Jaune.

Jaune immediately covers his mouth and begins to scream in pain.

Jaune: MIERDA, MI BIGOTE! (FUCK, MY MOUSTACHE!) PUTA MADRE! (MOTHERFUCKER!)

Velvet doesn't react to this and looks at him with a blank stare.

Velvet: I know it's you, Jaune.

Jaune continues to scream in pain and looks at Velvet. He sees that she doesn't react the way he wanted and slowly lowers the tone of his scream until he falls silent.

Jaune: Hey, you can't blame me for trying.

Velvet: Let me get to the point, I want to take some pictures of you…

Jaune: That doesn't sound bad.

Velvet:...Naked

Jaune: And there it is. When?

Velvet is surprised at his unusual response.

Velvet: Sorry?

Jaune: You want to take pictures of me, right? When do you want to do it?

Velvet: I… I didn't expect you to accept. I had a whole plan on how to blackmail you in my head. But then you tell me that it's ok?

Jaune: Ok ok ok, look I don't have all day. I don't know if you noticed but I have the whole school looking for me. When do you want to take the photos? Oh, and can I have my phone back, please?

Velvet: Yes of course.

She hands him the phone and he puts it in his pocket.

Velvet: How about today at 5:30pm? In my room.

Jaune: Sounds good. Just let me check with my agent if I'm free at that time. Oh look, speaking of the devil, he's right behind you.

Velvet: You have an agent?

She turns around but no one is there. After a few seconds she realizes she was tricked and looks back to where Jaune was. He was no longer standing in front of her. He was running to the opposite side of her with Nora on her shoulder looking at Velvet's direction. The only thing left were the fake mustaches on the floor. From afar, Nora can be heard screaming.

Nora: So long, sucker!!!

Velvet: You trick me!!!

She pulls out her phone and talks to someone.

Velvet: He is heading to the training area. I repeat, he is heading to the training area!!!

Back with our favorite duo. Jaune is running down the hall while Nora is still on her shoulder.

Nora: So where are we going now? Do we follow the same plan or…?

Jaune: We will continue with the plan. We just need to change our route a bit. Maybe we can use the back door to the training room? Oh the lockers! We can use the lockers to escape! I am a genius!

????: Yes you are~

Jaune: What the fuck?

At that moment, a machine gun is heard and a line of bullets comes out of the wall and blocks their path. That scares them and Jaune drops Nora to the ground. She got up and stood behind him.

Jaune: Holy shit!!

Nora: We are under attack!!

The machine gun stops and from the hole in the wall appears the incomparable Coco Adel. She looks at Jaune and smiles at him.

Coco: Hello Jaune~

Then she turns to see Nora but with a look of disgust.

Coco: Nora.

Nora, still behind Jaune, answers her.

Nora: Rude!

Jaune feels the danger that Coco emits right now, so he decides to do what he knows better than anyone. Fool people with nonsense.

Jaune: Hi Coco, you look amazing today. Are those new sunglasses?

She points her gun at them and approaches them

Coco: Yes they are new. Thank you for noticing it.

Jaune: No problem. Can I help you with something?

Coco: I need you to confirm something for me. Is that you in this photo?

She shows him a picture of a man wearing Pumpkin Pete's Trunks-type underwear, and he's displaying a colossal package.

Jaune: That ain't me.

Coco: Really?~ Wouldn't you mind if I ask you to take off your shirt to see if that's true?

Jaune: (Ok, Jaune, think. It's Coco you're dealing with, so you can't trick her like the others. She's one of the best fighters and she's smart. What should I do?)

As Jaune thinks of a solution, as Coco gets closer and closer to them. Nora puts herself between her and Jaune to protect him.

Nora: Stay back!

Coco: Relax, I just want to know if it's him, ok? Jaune, if you want I can give you a hand? But I must tell you that my hand tends to slip sometimes.

After hearing that last sentence, an idea came to mind. It's a low blow, but it'll work.

Jaune: *Quietly* Nora, play along with me no matter what happens.

He takes a deep breath and suddenly executes his plan.

Jaune: *Gasp* Coco Adele! That is sexual harassment!

Coco: What?! No, it was just a joke!

Nora: *Quietly* Oh, I see what you're doing. You are evil. *To Coco* Sexual harassment is never a joke!

Jaune starts acting like he's really crying.

Jaune: I've always admired you, and now I find out that you do these things?!

Coco is taken out of her comfort zone, and she panics.

Coco: I didn't mean too! It was a joke, I swear!

Jaune: *Looks away* I can't trust you anymore.

Nora: Perverted!

Coco: I am not a pervert!

Jaune: I need some time alone.

Nora turns around and comforts him.

Nora: Everything will be fine Jaune, don't worry. *To Coco* Are you happy now?!

Coco: It wasn't my intention, I'm really sorry.

Nora: Look, just go away.

Coco begins to walk backwards to leave and continues to apologize.

Coco: I'm sorry.

Out of nowhere Velvet appears on the other side, leaving Jaune and Nora in between her and Coco.

Velvet: Do not believe them! They are lying to you! He's not even crying!

Jaune is very upset that Velvet revealed his plan. All that effort wasted. He gets up and turns to see Velvet.

Jaune: God damn it! This is why they bully you!

They all gasp in surprise at that comment.

Nora: Jaune!

Jaune: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I got a little angry there. I just want to get out of here, and you girls look at me with lustful eyes. I have every right to be mean to you, at least just for today.

Velvet: Seems fair to me, but that's not the point! You're trapped now, there's nowhere to go!

Velvet and Coco begin to approach them. Nora and Jaune are back to back. Nora looking at Velvet and Jaune looking at Coco.

Nora: *Panic* What will we do now?! We don't have our weapons with us!

Jaune: Relax, just... just let me think, ok?

Coco: Thinking about what Jaune? You guys are in the middle of a hallway, surrounded.

Jaune: *Still thinking* Shut up!

Velvet: Just give in and let me show your body to the world with my photography. We will be the window of new inspiration!

Jaune: *Quietly* Window?

At that moment a light bulb goes on in Jaune's head.

Jaune: Nora, get ready to do "The Wrecking Ball"!

Velvet/Coco: The what?

Nora: But Jaune, I don't have my weapon!

Jaune: *Turns to her* Use me.

Nora: But...

Jaune: I have a lot of Aura, trust me.

Nora: O-Ok...

Nora grabs Jaune by the collar of his shirt and his belt and starts spinning him around without stopping.

Coco: What are they doing?!

Nora: AAAAH!!!

Nora screams as she picks up more speed. The two girls can feel a bit of wind coming off of them. At that moment Velvet realized what they were planning to do.

Velvet: Coco stop them!

But it was too late.

Nora: HYAAAH!!!

She let Jaune go towards the wall. The impact caused debris to fall, leaving Velvet and Coco blinded for a moment. When everything is clear, all they can see is a large hole in the wall, a window to freedom.

Coco: Holy shit! Is he crazy?!

Velvet takes a look outside the hole in the wall and doesn't see Nora or Jaune anywhere.

Velvet: They escaped. We'll have to start the search again.

Coco: I heard them talking something about the lockers. Maybe we should set a trap for them there.

Pyrrha: Good idea!

Velvet/Coco: Huh?

They turn to look behind them and out of nowhere they are knocked out.

Meanwhile:

Jaune and Nora are hiding behind some bushes in the courtyard. Nora checking the coast for enemies, while Jaune recovers with his aura.

Nora: So, are we going to change our plan?

Jaune: Let me rest first and then we'll see. Most likely, yes. But give me about 15 minutes, okay?

Nora: Ok

Jaune: Thank you.

He says as he closes his eyes to rest. While they try to take a breath. A new group has them in their sights.

May: *Using heat vision binoculars* I see someone hiding in the bushes.

Neon: It must be Jaune. Ready girls?

Reese/Arslan: Ready.

Neon: Let's move.

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noses-in-winter · 1 month

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Hey, She Has To Wake Up, Anyway (18+)(F sneeze, F/M, tickling into sneezing awake, foreplay)

These characters are Lor Sheldon, awkward nonbinary guy who is terminally horny, especially about noses and everything they can do! He has a hard time not feeling shy about that. He's extremely bisexual and gives off that energy, don't worry. I've written about him here and here. Feat. his total soulmate Piper (who I just wrote about here!) who is also terminally horny and is SO pumped about getting Lor to explore his kinks. They're both mid-30s in this which is when they're peak obsessed with each other.

In this fic, Lor wakes Piper up from a nap by making her sneeze (it's cool, they've talked about this, she's into it). Lot of detail about how he's touching her nostrils and stuff. Went kinda wild there.

please don't reblog to non-sneeze blogs, minors do not follow or interact THANKS

She had encouraged him more than enough times for Lor to believe that Piper meant it when she said she would be happy to…indulge him, with anything he wanted to do regarding her nose, and the fantasies he had associated with it. Christ, he had a lot of fantasies. Thank fuck he hadn’t divulged them all the last time they were stoned together. Even so, Lor still cringed at the fuzzy memory of spilling such an intimate detail of his life. Willingly! No gun to his temple or anything!

God, he told her so…so…so much about it. “It” being sneezing. How it made him feel…something. Especially about her…something. And sometimes his…something, if he was being honest, but that was not a something that Lawrence Sheldon was willing to face.

Her positive response to his confession was damn near intoxicating, though. Piper had been so…supportive. Happy, even. Cradling his face with one hand and using the other to lace her fingers with his.

She’d made a few changes since then that would seem uneventful to the man who found these actions completely vanilla. Lor didn’t have the courage to comment yet but, Jesus, did he notice. He noticed how she evidently skipped her bottle of daily antihistamines once or two mornings a week. Piper’s allergies didn’t knock her down the way Lor’s could unmedicated, but she still sneezed more often with heightened intensity. She also started to let her voice go a little high as she was gearing up for a sneeze in a way that made his dick so fucking hard--

Shit, shit, he needed to cool it. Piper still slept soundly with her head in his lap. The last thing he needed was for his needy cock to stir her.

They’d had a few conversations on the topic since then. None that lasted long, before Lor felt too shy to continue. Piper never rushed him. She simply made sure he always knew that she was 100% ready whenever he wanted to explore this fascination together.

“Surprise me, Sheldon. I’m up for anything. You’re in charge.”

Woah, fuck, why did that turn him on so much every time he remembered it?

Piper would answer favorably if he were able to ask her permission. No doubt in his mind about it. There would be zero hesitation. So it would be…okay, right? To just do it?

He swallowed, the light of the television casting shadows around the room. He had to get Piper’s head out of his lap, anyway, right? She never wanted to stay on the couch too long after falling asleep. They both always seemed to sleep better when they drifted off in each other’s arms in bed. They woke up apart, reliably, but that much-needed intimacy while fading into sleep was…also intoxicating. Still foreign to the both of them, certainly, but also welcoming and comfortable. Safe. Loving. Home.

Yeah. Yeah, she’d want him to make a move.

Lor took a deep breath before beginning.

He started by lightly setting an index finger on her pointed nose. Piper simply continued to breathe in and out steadily as she lay facing the television. With a little more pressure, her nose started to scrunch. Piper sniffed once, nestling her temple into his thigh. Fuck, she was cute.

Lor swallowed, watching to see if she was stirring awake. Weed typically turned her into a pretty deep sleeper, but he was too paranoid not to check. Once Lor was satisfied with the low rumble of her snore, he continued.

He rubbed the tip of her nose in small, slow circles. Fuck, okay, he was already sweaty just watching the way her nostrils moved with the teasing little pushes. He added a touch more pressure when Piper seemed unbothered. Hmm. Okay. Rubbing wasn’t all that effective, was it? Maybe…something else? External?

Lor glanced around at his surroundings before his eyes settled on the down blanket draped over Piper’s sleeping form. Perfect. He already saw the quill of a feather waiting to be pulled out of one slight snag in the fabric.

Lor pinched the quill and eased it out of the pillow. Ohhhkay, it was lengthy and perfectly fluffy. His stomach gave a flustered little flip at the sheer mental image of each delicate little tuft brushing against the equally delicate inner walls of Piper’s--

Hoooooo, fuck. Focus on the mission, Sheldon.

After tracing around Piper’s nostrils a few times, Lor watched carefully to gauge a reaction. Again, she mostly sniffled and scrunched her nose. It wasn’t until he took a deep breath and managed to ease the feather into her nose that Piper’s nostrils flared in response to the stroke of afterfeather. Oh. Not only did her nostrils flare, they goddamn quivered.

Piper sniffled sharply. Made a little noise in the back of her throat. Her hand moved. Lor pulled the feather out of her nose just before Piper could knuckle at her nostrils. He supposed the way the feather brushed the walls of her nose on the way out wasn’t helping things, judging by the little snag of her breath.

She grumbled, now half-asleep as she rubbed at her nose. It didn’t seem like Piper was aware of Lor’s intervention, but he held his breath, anyway.

Piper’s lashes fluttered, but she didn’t fully open her eyes in the light of the television. She stopped scrubbing so aggressively at her nose, but the back of her hand now lingered a few inches before her face. She sniffled with mounting congestion, nostrils now a quivering pink. She breathed in slow, sleepy pants.

He tried again. Piper reacted sooner this time, almost the exact moment that the tender feather stroked at her septum. One nostril scrunched with a snort as she murmured wordlessly. Piper pressed the back of her hand to the underside of her nose, scrubbing and scrubbing until Lor heard a truly shiver-worthy squelch. When she lowered her arm, there was a streak of dampness on the back of her hand. Lor fought an eager little squirm at the very vision.

Gauging how far he could go this time, Lor once more considered his options as Piper settled again. Even as she rested comfortably beneath the quilt, her nostrils still scrunched and spasmed with sniffly breaths.

….Huh.

He moved slowly, carefully, to give Piper’s nostrils a light pinch with his thumb and index finger. Lor’s stomach dropped pleasantly, as if he were on the best roller coaster of his life, when Piper’s nostrils fought to flare against his fingertips. He didn’t budge. She took in a truly nostril-quaking sniffle in response, eyebrows beginning to knit together.

Nostril-quaking. Jesus, he was going to have to incorporate that one into his internal Horny Lexicon.

Piper’s breath finally started to snag, now that her nostrils weren’t allowed to squirm out of her control. That tickle progressed rapidly before his eyes.

This was the greatest idea of his life.

Lor eased his fingers off of Piper’s reddened nostrils. They immediately widened, taking up as much space as they could. Though her nostrils had as much freedom to quiver as possible, the damage had been done. Lor watched for several beats, waiting until the perfect moment to give the underside of Piper’s nose one slooooow stroke with the feather.

That pushed her over the edge. She convulsed with a sneeze covered by nothing but the back of her hand at a distance. Piper’s head bounced slightly in Lor’s lap as her whole body shuddered, buckling into itself. “Hed’DTSCHH’ooh!!”

Lor’s stomach flipped at the vision of a fine mist bursting from her urged nose. Jesus, he could write an entire thesis on the way the sheer strength of that sneeze was increased by her nose’s initial resistance alone. Piper took in one gulping breath before sneezing again, completely uncovered this time, nostrils shuddering out another expulsion of mist.

Piper let out the littlest moan of relief after that second sneeze tumbled out of her. She fanned lazily beneath her nose, using the same hand that she had just sneezed against. Piper sniffled and finally opened her eyes. Her gaze was fixed on the television for several moments before she sneezed again, taunted by the glow of the screen. “Addh’DTSHH! Hh…hh! HuhHHD’schoo!”

“Bless you…” Lor said quietly, cheeks burning. He could lean over to the end table to grab the box of tissues, but the thought didn’t even occur to him. At the moment, he was nothing but thoroughly enchanted with the way Piper’s nose just…moved. When she sneezed. When she was gearing up for or recovering from a sneeze. When she was just relaxed enough with him to be so comfortable with letting her nose control her for a moment.

Piper didn’t say anything straight away. She started to ease up from her place on the couch, letting out one uncovered sneeze halfway through the process. F-Fuck, the mist of that sneeze in the light of the television was mesmerizing, wasn’t it?

Piper took in two rapid, gambling hitches as another sneeze crept up on her. Oh. Oh, she just wasn’t stopping. This time, Piper was able to yank the collar of her shirt over her nose. She kept herself steady with one arm on the couch, but was promptly knocked off-kilter when she sneezed damply into her shirt. Lor wrapped both arms around Piper’s torso, keeping her as steady as possible. He leaned back into the couch, bringing Piper with him.

“Bless you,” Lor breathed, blinking at Piper in a lovestruck gaze. Feelings of affection and attraction flooded him as Lor dipped his head to set a kiss in Piper’s hair. “A lot. You okay, babe?”

“Mmm..sdf! Fuck, sorry…” she exhaled, finally managing to sit up fully on the couch. Lor dutifully let her go. Piper started to blink slowly, adjusting her eyes to the light. “Didn’t mean to sneeze like a spray bottle there. Jesus, I really needed that, though. My nose f-feels---sdf, ugh, I dunno…itchy….”

“I-It’s okay,” he answered too quickly. Lor gulped and fumbled for the tissue box on the table. “I don’t mind. I mean, you know I don’t, but…y’know.”

Piper nodded, rubbing lazily beneath her nose. She seemed to be flaring her nostrils consciously, as if testing if there was another sneeze hidden anywhere. “Yeah, I do. I dunno, I dreamed something was…in my nose? And it tickled like a motherfuck, like a-...”

She trailed off. Lor followed Piper’s gaze until it reached the feather that sat in his lap. Lor was quiet for several seconds before a low chuckle rumbled in Piper’s chest. She gave him a knowing little smirk as she reached for him.

“Shel. You beautiful slut. Did you…?”

He felt like he was shrinking beneath her gaze. Lor gulped and glanced away, shame flooding every inch of him. “Um. I-I’m sorry. It was…”

“Hey, hey. Don’t be,” Piper hummed, reaching for him with ease. “That’s hot. Seriously. No idea you had it in you, Sheldon.” She snorted with laughter. This, apparently, stirred another tickle in her. Piper sniffled sharply, reaching to pinch at the freckled bridge of her nose. She massaged up and down. “Hoh, fuck. It’s right there.” Piper eased her free hand down to his thigh, delivering a squeeze to it. Her other hand continued to rub up and down the side of her nose with steady care.

“...C-Can I help you?” Lor asked on a nervous breath.

She gave him a slow, sexy bat of her eyelashes before her expression crumbled with a shaky hitch. The sneeze seemed to back off almost immediately, allowing Piper to scoot closer to him. Oh, fuck. Okay. Yeah. He could do this. Piper tilted her head back as she faced him, nostrils exposed perfectly to Lor. She moved closer to him on the couch, hand still in contact with his leg. He swallowed fiercely, enchanted with the way her nostrils squirmed and flared with each breath she took. Was she doing this on purpose? Or was this just naturally happening to her body? Both were incredibly sexy explanations.

Lor set one hand on the small of Piper’s back before easing the feather back into her nostril. This just sent her nostrils quivering further. Her chest started to rise and fall at a faster pace than a moment ago.

Lor didn’t stop. He continued to steadily twist it around in her right nostril. Her breath snagged as Piper gave her head a shallow nod. Okay. He could see it in her face. That tickled. He was--he was going to make her sneeze. And she was helping him do it. And she was okay with that.

Piper let her head loll lazily to one side. Lor followed her motions with his hand, feather still held tight between his fingers. He carefully stroked down the inner walls of her nose before Piper let out a stuffy little chuckle. “Th-That feels kinda good, Lor...”

“Y-Yeah?” Lor clarified, a smile starting to twitch at his lips. “Think I can…make it better?”

Piper could only nod, jaw slack and nostrils squirming with an impending sneeze. He continued to give the inner walls of her right nostril taunting little strokes with the feather. It wasn’t until he started to ease the feather out of her nostril did she react with one heady, desperate hitch. Lor quickly released the feather, allowing it to linger in her full, damp nose. He then watched Piper shudder out a…truly unprecedented sneezing fit.

The feather wasn’t completely expelled with her first sneeze. It was powerful, sure, and misted the front of Lor’s sweater, but the feather remained lodged in her overactive nose. In fact, the fourth sneeze of the fit was what finally expelled the feather from her nostril. It lay, damp and useless on Lor’s thigh.

Piper let out a quivered little breath, nose scrunching with a much-needed sniffle.

“Bless you,” Lor said on a weak exhale as Piper started to clean up the underside of her nose with a group of hastily grabbed tissues. She tossed them carelessly to the floor without a second thought once her nose was somewhat tidier.

Her nose, clearly, wasn’t quite finished with her yet. She sneezed again, disastrously, as soon as she threw the tissues aside. Piper gave one stuffy groan. She gazed at him through eyelashes heavy in maroon glitter from the day. “Hey, Sheldon,” she breathed, nostrils flaring with a lazy inhale. “You….sdf! You still wanna shower before bed?”

Lor didn’t even question her motivation for this seemingly unrelated question. He just nodded, eyes fixated on her nostrils.

“Good.” Without looking away from Lor, she drew the bottom of his sweater up until it lingered just before her nose. He shivered, both at the sudden chill on his abdomen as well as the vision of Piper’s nose hovering desperately above the fabric of his turtleneck. That he was wearing. Right now.

Again, Piper’s nostrils fluttered. Her chest rose and fell with taunting hitches. Fuck, she had to sneeze. She had to sneeze so badly, didn’t she? He wanted her more than anything.

Piper buckled into his sweater with a sneeze. Oh--and then another. She let out this lasting moan of a hitch that Lor knew was added dramatics. He didn’t mind. He liked that she was adding dramatics for him. That kinda made this even better, right? That she was so excited to tease him? Jesus, and tease she did.

She took in a slow, testing breath through her nose. When she didn’t immediately sneeze, Piper rutted her nose into his sweater, rubbing with quiet desperation. After several seconds of this, Piper groaned and dropped his sweater. Instead, she leaned forward to trail her nose along his jawline. Fuck, the tip of it was still damp.

“I still have to sneeze…” she murmured, starting to kiss at his neck. Almost instantly after, she leaned back with a gasping snag to her breath. “Hh! Hhh--!” He’d have to take this sweater off in a moment, right?

Folding the sleeve of the oversized sweater over his hand, Lor pressed it right beneath Piper’s nose. There was no hesitation on Piper’s part as she clamped his hand firmly over his. She shuddered out a muffled sneeze.

Yeah, he was hard. He was very, very hard.

A moment later, Piper left out three more rapid sneezes into the fabric. They all sounded absolutely desperate, even while being quieted by his sleeve. Lor’s breath was stuck in his lungs the entire time. The warmth of those productive sneezes met his palm through his sleeve almost immediately.

After one final sneeze that was particularly cushion-shaking--”AhHYD’SCHuhh!”--Piper exhaled through parted lips. Her knitted brows slowly began to relax, now only twitching slightly. “That’s better…” she murmured, using Lor’s covered hand to rub beneath her nose. Lor was expecting her to realize that his hand was, in fact, attached to this convenient fabric that she had turned into a tissue, but…Piper met his eyes, teary though hers were. She knew exactly how he would feel about this.

She started to move his hand, up and down against her nose. Lor watched in absolute awe as Piper’s jaw started to slacken again. Was it possible that he could feel her nostrils flaring from beneath his sleeve?

When it seemed like Piper was just about to sneeze, she let his hand go. Lor blinked as she leaned back from him, her activated nose continuing to scrunch and twitch. She reached for the damp bottom of his sweater, beginning to pull it up. Lor could think of nothing he wanted more in that moment than to comply. “C’mon…” Piper said with a damp sniffle. “L-Let m-hh!--me sneeze on more of you.”

“Fuck, I love you,” Lor exhaled with adoration in every syllable as he carefully removed his sweater. He tossed it aside without fanfare. There were barely a few beats before Piper leaned forward, nestling her nose against his bare shoulder. Her nostrils were damp and squirming and right. There.

“I love you, too,” Piper said quietly, sniffing congestedly along his collarbone.

Lor shuddered and gulped, placing his hands on her shoulders. Despite everything in his body screaming at him to stay just like this, he gently pushed Piper back so they could meet eyes.

“I--I want this,” he said on a shaky gasp. “I really, really want this. I just--I’d feel better if I could go, I-I dunno, shower, and get myself kinda ready for--for everything this is gonna lead to? I-I just prefer those kinds of…experiences to be, um. Clean. Me, clean. Y-You clean, too, actually. If that’s okay.”

Piper leaned back from him at Lor’s prompting. She sniffled, knuckling one nostril as she offered him a teary smile. “Me, clean, too, don’t worry. I could use a shower, now, anyway. Helps to…unstuffify me. Add that to your horny lexicon.”

She knew him so well!

Lor nodded. “You can go first, if you want.”

Piper snorted, her lips pulling upward into a smirk before the expression crumpled again. She sneezed down towards Lor’s now-bare chest, making him shiver at the feeling of the uncontained sneeze making direct contact with what felt like every inch of him.

She sniffled lazily and finally completed that smile, taking both of Lor’s hands. “I mean that I could use a shower with you.”

Oh. “Oh!” Lor gasped, a snaggly smile immediately spreading across his face. Lor started to stand, offering his hands to help Piper up as well. “Okay! Let’s--yeah! Let’s go!”

Piper laughed, starting to pull off her own T-shirt as she followed Lor. “Hold your horses, buckaroo. Take a breath. You’ll be able to rob me of my treasured virginity in a sec. Lemme at least blow my nose first…”

#sneeze fic #sneeze kink #sick fic #not sneeze for work

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stargirlie25 · 1 month

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How I feel about Vassien and Elriel 🙄

Elriel:

Hate this ship for the following reasons

Elain has always been full of light and does not belong in the NC or at least Feyres court.

Azriel is darkness and shadows, something that Elain wants to chase away in her darkest times.

Azriel has been silently in love with someone for centuries waiting for a mate.

He clearly already believes he is not worth anything with Mor and now with Elain. *SJM loves growth* *that's not growth* He feels unworthy of holding Nyx possibly because of his hands. Same bullshit with Elain.

You can't say not feeling like you deserve your partner is a pattern because Rhysand and nessian. First of all, Rhys felt unworthy of feyre because he did horrible shit to her. Nessian said horrible shit to each other. Therefore they feel unworthy. Azriel has done nothing to Elain yet he feels unworthy to ''taint her with his presence'' HE FEELS UNWORTHY OF HER BECAUSE OF HIS OWN TRAUMA. His job (torturing people and spying) while he said to Cass that it suits him. Hell even Mor feared his ruthless side and Elain has never seen it. Gwyn has seen him acting violently. She was assaulted and Azriel came in and did not hesitate to rip them apart. Then he wrapped Gwyn in his cloak. Does Gwyn fear him? Nah. Last I remember, she was broadly smiling at him during the winter solstice.

Or the fact that their relationship would have to be a secret and they would not be able to showcase it like their peers. That both of them have been hiding from different things all their life and they continue to do so? It would break them. LIKE GOD NO ONE CARES IF THE TROPE IS FORBIDDEN LOVE IF THE CHARACTERS ARE MISERABLE FROM THE GET-GO.

Generally the worst pairing along with Vassien

His shadows chose to vanish around her (just like Mor)

they would have to be a secret which would break her and him. (just like silently loving Mor did to him)

He feels unworthy of his trauma and generally around her (like Mor)

His character is the worst when it comes to Elain. He wants to kill a person for Elain for no good reason. (just like Mor)

He wants a mate (which is fine) and Elains reason for not wanting Lucien was because the mate aspect is not because of Lucien.

He simply pleasured himself to fucking her and that was it.

Rhysand who said Elain will be supported if she rejects the mating bond declines Az of pursuing Elain (relax Rhys he just wants to fuck her) and goes on to say in defense of Elucien that Lucien is fiercely loyal and has all rights to call a blood duel.

His sole reason for wanting to kiss her was because ‘’3 sisters and 3 brothers’’ and calling Elain the third as if she could be anyone but his argument would still stand.

Gives away the necklace he got for her because she returned it and feels good about it.

Vassien:

*Disclaimer: I do not hate Vassa in any way. I LOVE HER because I love the band of exiles*

I fucking hate this ship so much.JUST SAY YOU WANT LUCIEN OUT OF THE WAY! STOP BEING A PUSSIE AND SHIPPING A SIBLING LIKE RELATIONSHIP! LUCIEN FOUND FRIENDS. CAN HE PLEASE HAVE FRIENDS OR ARE YOU GOING TO SHIP HIM WITH EVERYONE TO GET HIM OUT OF THE WAY?

First of all the famous ''BiRd Of FLaME aNd LoRd OF FiRe''

Vassa being a bird of flame is her curse. One of the reasons her character and plot exists in the first place.

''I had not forgotten her plea to me that night after the last battle with Hybern. To break the curse that kept her human by night, firebird by day''

Lucien will be Lord of day and everybody in the Autumn hates him :( so I guarantee he does not want that title especially because he does not even want his last name. Eris is Lord of fire though.

Or Lucien blushing around Vassa. Noooooo. He was once again blushing because of Elain.

The scene:

''Not for long—not if Vassa has anything to do with it.``''You sound like an acolyte.” Lucien blushed, glancing at Elain. “She’s got a foul temper and a fouler mouth.” He cut me a wry look. “You’ll get along just fine.”

I nudged him in the ribs.''

This scene alone proves two things.

Lucien was blushing because feyre said he sounded like an acolyte In front of Elain and he blushed because being an acolyte is like worshiping

Lucien sees Vassa and Feyre in the same light. Although feyciens not endgame 🙄

Also the spark in Lucien's eye and a twitch of his lips.

The scene:

“Jurian ...” Lucien blew out a breath, scanning the carved wood ceiling above. “Thank the Cauldron for him. I never thought I’d say that, but it’s true.” He ran a hand through his silken red hair. “He’s keeping everything running. I think he’d have been crowned king by now if it wasn’t for Vassa.” A twitch of the lips, a spark in that russet eye.''

This is not a romantic gesture, this is an example of Lucien being amused by Vassa and Jurians dynamic. The spark alone is not even romantic even if it was solely directed at Vassa. Its recognition. Just like how Elain's eye sparked when seeing Lucien because she recognizes him. Amarantha's eye sparked when she realized that Rhysand was jealous of Tamlin and Feyre kissing. This literally could be him recognizing something between Jurian and Vassa. That Jurian could be king but the only force stopping him is Vassa.

Lucien lost his Lover,friend,and best friend-Jesminda,Feyre,Tamlin

Its safe to say that Jurian is his true best friend,Vassa is his true friend, Elain is his true mate/love.

Another thing E/riels like to say about Vassien is that Vassa can be immortal for Lucien or Lucien will become human

First of all, Lucien's role as heir to the day court is highly important in the upcoming books. Helion and Eris being featured so much in ACOSF was not for nothing. Also speaking about Beron and Tamlin? All linked to Lucien. All links to an Elucien book.

Coming back to Vassa:

'A once-proud queen—still proud, yes, but desperate to reclaim her freedom.Her human body. Her kingdom.

Saying she will be Faerie for Lucien is unfair to Vassas character. Once again Lucien's place at the Day court is very important and do you think Vassa would move in with him there? Leave her kingdom?

Ms girl is DESPERATE for her human body. She wants to be free. She does not want to be in Faerie realms. She has her site set and her goal.

Bye i could literally talk about this for hours and publish a whole novel but to sum it up i hate elriel and vassien (its the same thing) and this whole post has the reasons why!

#anti e/riel #anti vassien #anti dumb ships #gwynriel #pro gwynriel #pro elucien

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aihoshiino · 6 months

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If Ai had lived, what kind of parent do you think she would have been to teenage Aqua and Ruby?

luckily for you anon, I have spent a truly healthy [<- lie] amount of time thinking about this!!! This is going to inevitably dip into how Ruby and Aqua are both changed by having her in their lives just because that obviously matters to how she and the twins interact but... honestly at this point if you're following me, my bi-weekly unhinged essays about the Hoshinos are what you're here for.

Also worth noting before I get into it that I'm purposely not thinking too hard about Current Things in the manga like the documentary Gotanda was working on or the DVDs........ we know so little about them I can't really factor them into my rambles here lol so consider this just my most ideal happy end AU for the Hoshinos.

Anyway, I think it goes without saying that Ai would continue being an excellent mom to Aqua and Ruby. There would likely be some bumps in the road following B-Komachi's dome performance as her fame and increased demand puts pressure on her time and energy but Ai's priority is and will always be her babies so I can definitely see her and Miyako having a Stern Talk with Ichigo at some point to make sure Ai isn't overbooked to the extent that she can't spend time with them lol.

I also have a totally self indulgent AU based on Emiya Gohan that lives in my head, based around the framing device of Ai wanting to learn how to cook so she can make proper food for the twins as they grow up... my read of Ai is that she has a lot of issues relating to food security as a result of the abuse & neglect she went through, so being able to make good food for her own children and sort of rewrite her own relationship with food and cooking would be really healing for her.

Something also interesting to consider is the question of whether Ai would have been able to work through enough of her baggage regarding expressing her love to Aqua and Ruby... it takes such a desperate a raw moment for her to finally conquer that fear in canon that it's hard for me to imagine it happening in anything less than an equally cathartic moment, you know? At the same time, I really love the idea of Ai's slow progress towards healing eventually allowing her to do it without that kind of urgent pressure... instead of dying, Ai lives so hard she can eventually overcome that fear by her own strength!!!

I also think there would be a lot more moments like Ai and Ruby's dance with both of the twins – moments of Ai helping them both to untangle the trauma and baggage they carry from their past lives just through the simple act of loving and supporting them as their mother. Both Ruby and Aqua are explicitly described as being children "who never had a mother in the real sense" before their rebirth – for Sarina, she suffered the emotional abuse and neglect of living with a toxic mother who centered and prioritized her own feelings of grief and pain to such a degree that she completely abandoned her dying daughter. For Gorou, he grew up in the shadow of his mother's death as a result of childbirth complications, blaming himself and carrying the burden of his grandparents' grief and expectations in ways that are implied to have strained his relationships with them and left him without a real mother in his life.

Not only is this a healing experience for the twins, it's also ugely cathartic for Ai, too. As I've mentioned before, Ruby's "it's okay for me to dance!" scene with Ai is soooo incredibly powerful because it's about these two victims of toxic motherhood finding safety, healing and empowerment in the wholly loving and supportive parent/child relationship they build together. In general, the Hoshino family is a safe place where these three people who suffered abuse, neglect and the absence of loving mothers could find a place to heal and be loved.

Because of this, while I don't think that Aqua and Ruby would be hugely different on the surface going into their teens, a ton of stuff under the hood would be massively impacted. I like to think that growing up with Ai as a positive influence in their lives would have allowed them to essentially lay Gorou and Sarina to rest much sooner than in canon – not to forget or erase those memories, necessarily, but to definitively move on as their own people, having purified Gorou and Sarina's lingering regrets and trauma and being able to wholeheartedly embrace their new happiness as Aqua and Ruby.

This also means that they both have a much healthier relationship with Ai, in a lot of ways. I don't think they'll ever stop putting her on a bit of a pedestal but more in the way that a lot of people do if they grow up with a loving and good mom. On that note, I also like to think that with Gorou's weird baggage not causing such a conflict that Aqua might actually start calling Ai "mom"....... it makes me so depresso that he never did.....!!!

Without the weight of Ai's death hanging over them and her full and loving support at their backs, Aqua and Ruby still find their way into the entertainment industry, though for different reasons. Without his guilt getting in the way of doing things he enjoys, Aqua can admit to himself that he enjoys acting and tentatively pursues it through his childhood as the protégé of Gotanda again but in happier circumstances. He has similar initial hurdles as he does in canon wrt comparing himself negatively to Ai and underselling his strengths, but Ai would have a good talk with him about valuing what he brings to the table and not worrying about matching up to anyone else. Eventually, he becomes pretty focused on like, weirdo ass self produced projects he does a lot of the work on (acting, directing and producing) that don't make a huge splash in the mainstream necessarily but are well beloved in niche and horror circles and Aqua's happy with his work entirely because it's his and he's happy to make it, which is most important.

Ruby follows a similar track as she does in canon with becoming a member of the second generation of B Komachi, still driven by love and admiration for her mom but from a much healthier and happier place. Rather than feeling like she has to live up to Ai's image in her absence, she is inspired by Ai's presence in her life, her active support and encouragement and her boundless love and excitement to see her kids do what makes them happy. The canonical B-Komachi gen 2 still come together in mostly the same ways because I love them too much to separate them but this time, they're directly mentored by Ai and go full force through the industry with her support.

Eventually, I do think the three of them go public about their family - probably around the time the twins have graduated from high school, just to properly allow them the chance to be relatively normal kids without the scandal and pressure of being Ai's children hanging over their heads. It definitely causes a bit of an explosion, but I think by then Ai would have successfully transitioned from being purely an idol and would be more of a general household name/celeb, so there isn't as much outcry, but it definitely still stirs up some trouble that she and the kids have to weather.

At the end of the day, though, her presence in their lives would be a huge boon to them and it results in all three of the Hoshinos being much happier and healthier people. This response uh got a way from me a little and turned into like a whole AU pitch but what are we here for if not to delulu ourselves about scenarios where the Hoshinos could be happy..............

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ai hoshino #aqua hoshino #ruby hoshino #i should probably start a #hoshino family #tag

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thequietkid-moonie · 1 year

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Hello darling. I would like to make a request, I hope it's not too much in relation to the difficult time you are going through. I had an idea involving the following: Hindu mythology! i really lov.India and its stories, I could spend hours talking about just that. So I was thinking of Buddha,Jack,Shiva,Zero And Hades with a goddess (I know you write gn reader, but I'm going to use female pronouns here ) which is like Alakshmi (a goddess who brings bad things) but because she feared that her power was intense, Trimurti (the Hindu "trinity" composed of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva) trapped that power within her. Although Beelzebub ends up finding out and takes away that "good" part of her and her dark and evil part. how would these characters react? were they going to try to help her, or were they going to let her destroy everything? with their help, would she turn into shadow, light, or a mixture? I leave that part to your imagination. Thank you!

Powerful god!S/O of misfortune

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Buddha, Jack, Shiva, Zerofuku, Hades ]

[ Records of Ragnarok / Shuumatsu no Valkyrie ]

I hope I made this right and that you like it >< I just go by what you describe me since I didn't find much information about Alakshmi, also Beelzebub can't exactly take a good part of you, but he can't take away the seal of your power and that that's what I work with

P.S. Alakshmi! S/O was a provisional name

My mind go wild

Buddha

Buddha has been warned about a powerful god that just brings bad things, a god that carries misfortune and chaos with them, but as always he doesn't give importance of what people said, no one will be able to stop him from trying to meet you because he is stubborn and when something sticks to his head, nobody takes it out of there

When he finally find you he doesn't even think twice before going to you and introduce himself so casually, you could ignore him or introduce yourself too, that won't change the fact that since the start he treat you as a friend

You want it or not you two will become friends, if you try to just ignore him that actually just give him motivation to try harder, at the end you will have to give up because he isn't going to let you alone, and eventualy you two start dating

If you ever warn him or are anxious about bringing bad things to him he just brush it off saying that if that happen that will just bring fun to the situation, in reallity Buddha just want for you to stop thinking on what you cause to others

Also he is willing to comfort you if you seem affected by the fact of your power or that people fear you and most of the time he just make jokes about it, not to make fun of you but because he want you to see it from another perspective, a more funny one

Buddha has never been bothered nor afraid of your power, but if you seem bothered by your own power he will have a serious talk with you, asking you what exactly bother you and what do you want to do

He doesn't really like the idea of lock up your power and seal it within you, but if that is what you want he will support you, he makes you company the whole process, from asking for help to the Trimurti to the moment your power gets sealed, and he you stop him from being there with you, he wants to make sure that he can help you in case you change your mind

Also, he stay with you while you get used to the sensation of not having all your power, of how it feel having it all trapped inside, he actually ask you how it feels. This doesn't really change things between you two, at least not from his side since he continue treating you as always

For Beelzebub being able to break the seal you have to be alone, otherwise Buddha will stop him, specially since he knows how important this is for you, taking his opportunity when you were distracted (or even sleeping, he won't lose the chance) and break the seal letting free all your power, empowering it to your limits so the power start to take control over you

Feeling like if your head will explode for how while and crazy your power start to get and not being able to hold it, you just start destroying everything around, as well as your own sanity

At the very moment he noticed something happening to you he doesn't waste any time in try to help you, imediatly tries to talk you out of the trance your power put you, desperatly calling your name and gently but firm holding you if he can, he doesn't want to but if he have to fight you in order to stop you he will (mainly using his habilities to avoid hurting you). He isn't going to let your power overcome you and transform you into someone he knows you aren't, he will remind you who you are in reallity, nothing will stop him, not until his body doesn't give more

Once you finally calm down and return to your normal self he hugs you tightly and pat your head, as a quiet comfort, he doesn't blame you for losing control over your power since both know how powerful and dangerous it can be, you were the one who wanted to seal it after all

He promise to himself to don't let anyone do something like this to you again (heck, he will get mad if someone even say something bad about you or about this incident), but right now you are more important and he won't let you alone until he knows you are perfectly fine again, both calm and that you aren't blaming yourself for whatever you had cause

And this time he will help you find a way to control your powers so something like this doesn't happen again

Jack the Ripper

Even when he is in the Valhalla Jack doesn't involve much with the gods or be too interested on them, still that does not rule out the possibility of hearing the rumor about a powerful god that it does nothing but bring misfortune in its wake, and that for sure picks his curiosity

Maybe he wasn't planning on directly meet that god but he will be lying if he says that it doesn't bring him curiosity, he wonder what kind of person you are, what colors are you wrapped with

The opportunity to meet you presented itself, either for casuality or because he ended up searching for you, but that doesn't matter too much, in any case he politely introduced himself and offer you a seat beside him, maybe even some tea

Since the start he noticed an inmense feeling of loneliness and even fear, he doesn't say anything about it but that just make him even more curious about you, he wanted to know everything about you but he never lose his polite and kind manner, so it doesn't last long before you two become friends, or even partners

Even if you try to warn him about your power he normally just brush it off because he doesn't fear your power, he is curious and even amused every time he sees what you are capable of doing (even when you just cause chaos he is still amused)

Also, he always comfort you whenever you feel bad for the misfortune you bring, is something you can't stop so you shouldn't feel bad about it (he sometimes even says that an beautiful person such as yourself shouldn't be ashame of their own quirks)

He isn't too conviced of the idea of sealing your power, he rather prefer to you to learn more about it and even to control it than just bottle it inside you, but if that is what you really want he will support you (still he asks you if this is really what you want, he doesn't want for you to do it for the sake of others)

He gladly go with you to visit the Trimurti to ask for help and in the whole process, even when he isn't too welcome with them since he is just a human he doesn't really care, also he rather prefer to stay by your side in case you prefer to don't do it or just to give you support. In the case that he can't go with you or that you prefer for him to wait for you he will respect your wish and just wait, and even when he seem rather calm about it he can't help but feel a little anxious

After your power gets sealed inside you he imediatly goes by your side and ask you how are you feeling and if everything is alright, he is curious about the seal and how it feel having your power bottle it but all his curiosity can't wait for later, his first priority is to makes sure that you are alright

After this he spends some time taking care of you and helping you get used to your new lack of power, the more it affected you the more he will insist on take care of you, he may even baby you unconsciously from time to time (and if you point out he just laugh softly at it and apologize)

Aside from that he doesn't really change the way he treat you, although he is keeping a close eye on you for a while in case you need help and to see how the seal changed your powers, if you seem weakened by this he will get a little more protective over you, wary of the others wondering if someone would try to harm you now that you are more weak

Jack is pretty observant and intelligent, if some may try something against you he will notice it and he will take care of it, so for the seal to be broken it has to be when you two were either apart or distracted

Jack is quickly to react when the seal is broken, specially if he is by your side he will try to take you out of the trance of your power that is getting all over your mind, being able to stop you before you lose control of the power. Even in the case that you actually lose the control and you just start destroying everything around Jack has no problem to fight against you, still he will try to not harm you, he just need to stop you and that won't be really difficult for him for how skilled and smart he is, Jack can easily come up with a plan to stop you before you end up hurt or that you power take all the control over your mind

Once you calm down enough to control your power he will haver a proper talk with you (and comfort you if you need it), but is until your feel better that he asks you what do you want to do now that the seal is broken and that you had seen the extent of your power, he will support you to whatever you decide to do even if your choise is to use your power to win power over others or destroy everything he will be by your side, as long as it's a conscious decision and not because your had lose the control

Shiva

Is for sure that Shiva had already hear about you at least once, but if is before he had reach the peak of Svarga he won't give much importance since back then he didn't care much for anything aside his comfort or his friendship with Rudra (It is more likely to be Rudra who is more curious about you)

When he meet you it could be either because you were bringing troubles to his territory or either in the moment you search for help with your power (although, if you meet him when he was still with Rudra it will probably him who approached to you and end up introducing each other)

The fact that you don't like too much your power or even fear them it confuses him, he doesn't understand why would you feel that way and he will ask you right away about it, is your power so why you just don't embrace it? He could be a little insensitive with the topic since he is really curious about your power and wants to know the truly extent of it, and if he has the opportunity to fight with you he will

And for this reason he refuse to help you at first since he doesn't see a problem with your power (he is the god of destruction after all), if you try to tell him that you do nothing but bring misfortune and chaos it won't work since he won't change his decision

Even when he knows what cause your power he has never fear it, and since he is just pretty chill and cheerful he just tries to distract you from the topic, as if it was something that isn't there

Is not until he notice how this actually affects you or your surroundings, how you end up causing disasters by accident or even unconsciously is when he start to rethink about sealing your power, you have been the one who has been living with this power so you are the one who knows what is best

So one day while hanging out he just bring up the topic, saying that this time he was willing to help you seal your power, he tries to not make a big deal of it but he can't help but be suprised when he sees your relieved/excited expresion. Meeting with Brahma and Vishnu to be able to seal your power, without before making sure to ask you if you are ready

He isn't really worried for something going bad, still after your power is finally sealed he ask you how are you feeling (smiling a little prideful to be honest). If you feel weird for your new lack of power is normal and he will recommend a lot of rest until you get used to it (mainly as an excuse to don't do anything together)

He may make some jokes form time to time of how he misses the chaos that you used to cause, but aside form that your relationship doesn't change much (although he will have to get used to your lack of power too)

He had never being too clingy nor possessive so you have free room to go wherever you want (Parvaty is the most probably to get worried about you), and thanks to that it won't be too difficult for Beelzebub be able to reach to you to break the seal

Shiva isn't quickly to react, specially if you two are far away, so is probably that he get to you when your power is already taking control over you and making a mess of your mind and your surroundings. He tries to call your name and ask you to be stronge, to don't succumb to your power, but if he sees that you aren't answering he will have not other option than fight you

He won't have any problem with fight you and he actually are excited to see the true extent of your power, but in any moment he forget that he has to help you and he should try to not harm you

When you finally calm down and get back to your senses he greet you rather cheerful, he was really worried for you (Parvati, Kali and Durga too) but he can't help to be excited for your power, he won't let you room to be ashame for what happened since he is praising you

After this is for sure that he wont let you try to seal your power again, but he won't leave you all alone with it neither, he offers to help you learn to control it (and he isn't really goint to accept a no as an answer)

Zerofuku

Zerofuku doesn't have much contact with other, nor gods or humans, so he probably doesn't have heard the rumor of the powerful god that just brings misfortune, and if he does he probably do it in his road just as a rumor, even so when he heards it he wants to meet that god since he wanted to stop the misfortune and sadness of people

Still, he isn't someone who judge so when he meet you he tries to be polite and kind as always, still he can't help but be intimated by you. Even if you try to ignore him he will insist on getting to know you, at first was because the misfortune you bring thinking that maybe there is a way to stop it, but little by little he start to like your company to the point that you two end up up dating too

The fact that you fear your own power and don't really like to bring bad things to wherever you go makes Zerofuku feel a lot of empathy, since he doesn't really like seen other suffering (even in his grief, he doesn't want to make suffer inocent people), and the lonyless for being a feared god too since he always had been alone

He doesn't like seeing you upset with yourself for fearing your own power, he know that you are a really good person and he loves you just the way you are, so he pass a lot of time trying to cheer you up and make you see good on yourself, and whenever you bring something bad to other or your surroundings he tries to distract you and comfort you

He had expresed more than once how he wished he could do something for you, so when you bring the idea of trying to seal your power he gets really curious, it scares him but he tries to support you, specially if you have hopes on it

He is still nervous about the whole thing and he knows there is nothing much he can do to help you but if you want him to be by your side in the process he will, but if you prefer that he wait for you until the process if finished he will (however, if he is in his grief he won't let you alone and he may even be threatening them with the gaze, wanting to make sure they don't try something weird against you)

Even when he want to support you he cant help but be anxious, so after your power is finally sealed he is all over you asking if you are alright, how you feel, if you need anything, he doesn't doubt you or the Trimurti is just that he is worried about you, and for a while he will be watching over, specially if you feel different for the seal

It would take a while for both of you to get used to how it affected you the seal, but that won't change much your relationship

Beelzebub will have to get an opportunity where you were distracted since even when Zerofuku doesn't really distrust people he will try to help you at least to run away, but if he is in his grief it would be even more difficult since he is pretty wary of his surroundings

If you two were together when the seal were broke and the power start to get over you he tries to help you calm down, he isn't exactly quickly to react but he isn't going to let you alone when you are in so much distress, however if you two were separed it would take him a little more since when he see you he gets shocked not really being able to fully understand what happened

Still he despertly tries to help you, calling you by your name and getting close to you, it doesn't really matter to him if he end up hurt he just hold you ant try to get all your attention on him, the more you seem to be affected by your power the more anxious he gets

He tries to help you by his words since he doesn't really want to hurt you or have to fight you, so he will insist on call you and even hold you until you calm down, he doesn't care for what happened around you two he just cares for you two right now. And when you finally calm down he will start to cry out of relief

He will let you take care of the mess or the break seal later, but first he need some time alone with you since he was really scare that something may happen to you and he needs to make sure you are alright, and if he is on his grief he promise to go against however had done this to you

Hades

Hades is not just the big brother of the gods but he also is a really good leader and strategist, for his position is for sure that he already know about you but he isn't going to do anything against you unless you intentionally do something against him

He probably get curious about you since the rumors just talk about the chaos and misfortune that you sow in your path. It could be that at some point one of you decide to approach to the other or that he is bound to confront you for what you had cause, either way he reminds polite when meeting you

He isn't someone he is carried away by rumors, he prefers to meet you personaly if you let him, and while knowing you he reminds kind and polite. It won't be so difficult for him to earn your trust and he won't mind at all if you want to stay in his palace (after you two start dating he will insist)

He had never feared your power, he is interested on it and will reach a conclusion of the true extent of it by just watching you use it (even if is unconscious), and he is willing to help you to find a way to control it and to use it at your favor too

He isn't exactly going to comfort you if you fear or don't like your own power, he reassure you that is nothing you have to be afraid of neither hate. Also, he brings different options of how to help you handle it if you like, but at the end the choise is yours, and if you decide that what you want to do is seal your power he will support you, no without before asking you to consider all your options, it isn't like he doesn't trust your judge but he will hate for you to do something out of fear

Once you make your final choise and are fully conviced that this is what you want you have all his support, inmediatly putting his hands at work to help you contact with the Trimurti to ask for help. He will stay by your side the whole process, pretty close to you if that gives you comfort, but if it not he will be far but still present

After your power is sealed the first thing he does is hold you so you can support on him and ask you how are you feeling, imediatly return to the palace (after thanking the other gods) so you could rest, and he will make sure to take care of you and make you company until you are fully used to the seal, or your new lack of power

This doesn't really change much your relasionship, power or not he still love you, although he could get protective with you from time to time, specially when you go outside of the palace, wanting to go with you to makes sure nothing happen to you (and spend time with you, he won't decline an opportunity to do so)

If is Beelzebub who broke the seal it had to be before they meet or else Hades will stop him by the very moment he start on planning to do so, and Beelzebub won't really think on it since you are important for Hades and he doesn't want to bring him problems (no more than he already cause)

Either way, it would be pretty difficult for the seal to be broken for how Hades care for you, and for that he will directly blame himself for it (not in the moment since he has to focus on help you first), is pretty easy for Hades to come up with a plan even if you lose control over the power, but that doesn't mean he will directly fight you, the last thing he wants is to harm you

He focus on take you out of the trance that your power put you before it get all over you mind and you lose all the control of yourself, however he keeps a secure distance to don't trigger you or in case he can't just stop you. He is ready to confront you in a fight but he will more in defence and trying to just restrain you

If in the process you end up causing a mess of the place he doesn't care at all, he is just focus in help you calm down, and when you finally do it he will hold you and take care of you, just as he did when you sealed your power

After he is completly sure that you are fine, both physical and emotional (doesn't matter if is the same day or takes you a long time), he will make you train with your power to learn to fully control it, he won't let you try to seal it again

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jebewonmorelike · 9 months

Text

Whatever You Say, President-nim

Part Two of "So You Can Do Yours"

⋆ ✮ ⋆

part one: "so you can do yours" wc: 2.6k pronouns: none used; n/a warnings: mentions of food-- specifically gunwook saying he skips lunch to get to work quicker (he's fine, he's just in love), lots of fluff, reader is a bit angsty bc they are missing out on being a kid/young adult/student summary: younganddumbCEO!reader offers to pick up assistant!gunwook at his university one afternoon to "help get him to work on time" ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ so after you read this... you will notice its still open-ended. i really liked this little story i'm crafting for wookie so i think i'll have one more part to it! i really wanted to write this; i definitely got a lot of intrinsic joy out of it and that is what i've been missing from my writing recently. it was super fun to write-- i hope the couple of friends who have asked about a part 2 enjoy this too!! thanks for supporting me on this quasi-break, it means a lot. please give me any feedback you have no matter how small; i just love hearing that you liked it. :)

“It’s almost there, but...” You whisper to yourself, carefully dotting your paint brush to the canvas to touch up the mossy bank in the bottom right corner. Creating a deeper shadow in the greenery, you smile as you imagine what your assistant will say when he sees your progress.

Gunwook typically requests that you save your painting for when he’s working so that he can adequately cover all your job-related duties for you. You know you should be responding to your emails or reviewing the paperwork he finished for you yesterday to better familiarize yourself with it, but you just couldn’t help yourself. The idea of adding deeper shadow to the green areas of the painting had come to you last night in a dream and you’d been bursting at the seams to follow through on it since you woke up this morning.

What time is it? You wonder, glancing up at the clock above your doorframe to find that it’s almost 1 P.M. On Thursdays, Gunwook clocked in at 1:30 P.M. after finishing his classes at his university for the day. Just a little bit longer...

“President-nim?” The voice of Secretary Lee over the intercom breaks your focus from your painting. The small brush you're holding tumbles from your hand, a dot of dark green landing onto the perfect pale blue sky. You close your eyes, inhaling for four seconds and exhaling for six-- the breathing exercise that your assistant had introduced to you last month to cope with your frustration and anxiety at work.

With the amount of times you’d had to use it to keep yourself from impulsively firing his own mother, you’re sure Gunwook was glad he’d found the right one for you.

You pick up your paintbrush calmly and place it into the mason jar of water on your desk before leaning over to the intercom and pressing the microphone button. “Yes?”

“Could I come have a word with you, President-nim?” She asks politely, but hurriedly. “It’s a bit urgent.”

“Come in, Secretary,” you agree, shutting the top of your desk quickly to conceal your artspace. You throw some papers that Gunwook had completed yesterday for you across your desk in an attempt to make yourself look busy.

With a soft knock at the door, Secretary Lee enters as you pretend to study some of the papers-- tapping the base of a ballpoint pen to your chin in faux concentration.

“President-nim,” Secretary Lee greets with a bow as she makes her way up to your desk. She glances down at the papers you’re pretending to fill out, eyes lingering a bit too long. “Are you very busy with paperwork?”

“Oh, um,” you start, nodding a bit too hastily. “Yes, but please share with me what you need to.”

After a moment of continued suspicion, Secretary Lee finally moves on, responding, “I have to leave now to get the plans you approved from the Engineering Sector this morning to Board Executive Han in Incheon. He requested they be delivered immediately to his office.”

“That sounds great,” you reply with a nod. “Thank you for letting me know. I’ll get back to work now.”

“Well, there’s--,” Secretary Lee says quickly, bowing slightly in apology for the continued interruption. “There’s a slight problem that I have to make you aware of.”

You frown, an eyebrow raising expectantly.

“The drive isn’t too long and I don’t mind making it,” she prefaces, clasping her hands together. “But it will interfere with my lunch break and... That's when I pick up my son from his university and bring him to work. He can take the bus, but there've been long delays recently so I’ve been driving him to and from school so he isn’t late.”

“Ah,” you reply, placing your pen down on the table.

“So I wanted to apologize and warn you that Gunwook could be very late today,” Secretary Lee says, fidgeting with a button on her coat. “I’m sorry about this, President-nim.”

To your embarrassment, a flood of disappointment hits you. You’d been really looking forward to showing your assistant the new additions to your painting.

And drinking his expertly-made coffee. And being both offended and impressed by at least one unavoidable and perfectly crafted new insult. And seeing that genuine, absolutely magnetic smile...

“I can pick him up.”

The offer slips out impulsively. Looking up at Secretary Lee, you notice that she’s somehow much less surprised by it than you are.

“Are you sure, President-nim?” She asks with a small smile. “That’s a lot of trouble to ask of you. You’re so busy right now with all of this paperwork!”

“I am so busy with paperwork, yes," you nod, putting on your most convincing performance. "But I... I actually was going to run something over to my mother’s office, so...”

“Ah,” Secretary Lee affirms with a nod. “Then if it’s no trouble, I’m sure Gunwook would love that, President-nim.”

Your face flushes slightly at her words. You wish she hadn’t told you that her son had finally agreed to be your assistant after he’d seen a picture of you. It was wildly unprofessional.

But even worse, it sometimes made you... think things.

Like maybe when Gunwook smiled at you, he wasn’t just trying to please his boss. Like maybe he actually liked you. Even just as a friend. Maybe he really meant all of his niceties. That wasn't something you often experienced in your life.

“Right,” you reply finally, shaking your head a bit to stop the thought spiral. “Well, have a safe drive, Secretary Lee.”

“You as well, President-nim,” she says, glancing at your paperwork one more time. “Do you need new pens to be ordered for you?”

You tilt your head to the side confusedly. “Why do you say that?”

“Your writing isn’t as neat as it usually is, President-nim,” Secretary Lee says; the hint of a smirk appearing on her lips. “You’re starting to write chicken scratch... just like my son!"

“Very funny,” you deadpan, shooing her towards the door with your hand. “I do my own paperwork, Secretary Lee.”

“Of course, President-nim,” she allows with a laugh as she opens the door to your office and steps outside. “Whatever you say, President-nim!”

Like mother, like son.

__________________________________________

Pulling into a parking spot in front of Yonsei University’s Yonhee Hall, you quickly notice a small group of students in front of you ogling your car. In your high hopes to feel nostalgic and comfortable on a university campus again, you’d completely forgotten about the spectacle that is your baby blue 2024 Porsche 911.

Grabbing your phone and keys and stuffing them into your back pockets, you open the car door and climb out-- a chorus of excited whispers when the three students in front of you see your face.

“Whoah,” one boy says in disbelief. “Expensive car AND good-looking? That's just not fair."

“A student could never afford that car,” the girl next to him whispers back as you start to walk over to where they’re standing in front of the steps to the building.

“I’m not a student,” you reply, which visibly shocks the girl and her friends. “Did you guys just get out of class?”

“At 1:15, yeah. Public Policy Analysis,” a shorter boy next to her replies. With a timid smile, he continues, “We’re heading to eat. Do you wanna join us?”

The girl hits his arm. “Don’t be so desperate.”

“Sorry,” the boy says quickly.

“Let’s just go,” the taller boy says. “Gunwook never comes to eat with us anyway-- I don’t know why you continue to insist that we invite him.”

You notice how the girl looks away in what appears to be embarrassment. Had this girl fallen for Gunwook, too?

You did not just think ‘too’.

You clear your throat, quickly repeating, “Gunwook?”

“Yeah, he’s our friend, sort of, who--...” The shorter boy starts to explain for you (which is very kind of him, considering you’re a total stranger), but his attention suddenly shifts to the top of the building steps behind you. “Oh there he is. Gunwook-ah!”

You turn around slowly to find Gunwook staring back at you wide-eyed. Noticing his black university hoodie and his Adidas joggers, his backpack slung over one shoulder, and his un-styled hair falling into his eyes... you have to physically swallow down the lump of anxiety that’s formed in your throat.

“(Y/N)?” Gunwook asks, running down the building steps to you. “What are you doing here?”

“Y-your mom had to deliver something in Incheon,” you reply nonchalantly as your downright adorable assistant flops his way down to you; towering over you from the step above and smiling.

"So you came to rescue me?" He asks with a smirk.

“Gunwook-ah,” the girl beside you calls, the slightest air of annoyance in her voice. “Is this your friend?”

“Yeah-- or... Um,” Gunwook stumbles as he grins at you. “My boss, actually.”

“You’re Gunwook's boss? I thought you worked for the President of KCTech Company,” the taller boy replies, eyeing you up and down suspiciously.

Gunwook nods-- not once taking his eyes off of you. “I do.”

“The President of KCTech Company is a teenager?” The girl scoffs, folding her arms in front of her chest.

“I turned 20 last month,” you correct with a grimace.

“Whoah,” the shorter boy whispers in awe. “So are you part of a chaebol family?”

Both of his friends issue a punch to his arms. “Sorry,” he says quickly.

“It’s okay. I am,” you say, shaking your head dismissively. “But I anxiously await you political science majors striking my family down with new policies in the future.”

“Okay, and we’re leaving,” Gunwook says, taking your arm and dragging you the rest of the way down the stairs with him.

“But I meant it,” you protest, trying to keep yourself from fully processing that Gunwook has now engulfed your hand in his gigantic one and seems to have no plans to let it go.

“I know you meant it, but we don’t need three university students selling a story to a tabloid about how the President of KCTech challenged them to economic warfare after class,” Gunwook explains with a sigh. As he pulls you towards your car, you hear the group of friends still mumbling about the interaction they just witnessed.

“Am I going crazy or is Gunwook... holding his boss’s hand?” The taller boy asks, wiping his eyes with his fists to make sure he’s seeing clearly.

The shorter boy laughs. “I'm pretty sure he also used informal speech.”

“Whatever,” you hear the girl huff sadly as Gunwook opens your car door for you and gestures for you to get in.

Once you’re inside your car, Gunwook shuts the door for you and makes his way to the other side. That’s when you realize... you’re sitting in the passenger’s seat.

Gunwook opens the driver’s side door and hops inside; watching as his classmates talk amongst each other-- debating whether or not to start to head to lunch. Your assistant waves to them happily through the front window.

“What are you doing?” You ask, shocked at your assistant’s actions.

“Waving to my friends,” he answers dumbly.

“Why are you acting like you’re about to drive my car!?” You exclaim, hand flying to his shoulder to shake him a bit.

Gunwook smirks at you. “Because I am.”

“No, no, no, no,” you squeeze his shoulder harder. “No, you are not.”

“You wouldn’t embarrass me in front of my classmates,” Gunwook challenges, batting his eyelashes cutely. “Would you, President-nim?”

Every time you think your assistant’s gone as far as he can go, he always pushes you a bit further. And you’d be bold-faced lying if you said you didn’t love it.

“Gunwookie,” you whine rather unprofessionally. “Ugh, fine. But if you crash this car, I swear I’m gonna--.”

Gunwook presses the start button on the car excitedly, fastening his seatbelt before pulling out of the parking space without looking both ways.

“Please, Gunwookie,” you beg, fastening your seatbelt frantically. “I really like this car. It’s the only present my father’s ever gotten me that I actually liked.”

The boy tenses a bit, meeting your gaze and nodding quietly in agreement before pressing the gas pedal with his foot at a responsible velocity. Gunwook drives through the campus and out onto the main road diligently, stopping for 3 seconds at stop signs, minding crosswalks, and breaking gradually. He’s a good driver-- which shouldn’t come as much of a shock to you, considering he’s good at pretty much everything he does.

He’d even painted some pretty convincing trees last week when you’d shown him the brush technique before you left work.

“How come you don’t drive more often?” You ask, reaching to your back pocket and pulling out your phone. “Your mom has to drive you to work every day.”

“I don’t have a car,” Gunwook answers, signaling a turn. “Or a license.”

Your phone drops from your hands into your lap. “WHAT!?”

“Relax! I have a permit,” he says with a laugh as your hands fly to cover your face in despair. “You’re supervising me, President-nim. I know you won’t let anything bad happen to your favorite assistant.”

“The ice is so thin, Wookie.”

The nickname leaves your lips before you can consider its implications. Gunwook clears his throat awkwardly, focusing back on the road. You continue in silence for a bit, looking out the window as Gwanghwamun approaches. But there’s something you still want to say before you reach the office building.

“Gunwook-ah?”

The boy glances at you expectantly. “Yes, President-nim?”

“Those kids,” you start, watching as his grip on the steering wheel slips gradually to a more comfortable position. “They said they keep asking you to go to lunch after class with them.”

“Oh,” he replies, nodding as he sucks his teeth. “One, they're not kids-- they're literally a year younger than you and so am I. And, two, I don’t really have time. I have to get to the office by 1:30 to--”

“One, you're two years younger than me. And two, come at 2:30 from now on,” you interject. Gunwook’s eyebrows knit with confusion, but you continue, “Eat lunch with your classmates while you can.”

Your assistant’s expression softens as he meets your gaze, but you think you would prefer that he didn’t look at you with this much pity again any time soon.

“You’ll regret not spending more time doing fun things like that when you can’t anymore,” you explain, tugging at the skin around your nails. “You should be doing things you enjoy, is what I mean.”

“Thank you, (Y/N),” Gunwook says with a smile. “I’ll eat lunch with my classmates more often. But...”

You raise an eyebrow as Gunwook pulls into a parking spot on the street-- one that luckily doesn’t require him to parallel. He’s a good driver, but you’re not ready to test his skills that much. Pushing the engine button to turn the car off, Gunwook leans back in his seat and turns to look at you.

“I hope you know I also enjoy working, too,” he says; a cheeky grin lighting up his face as he adds, “With you.”

You pout at him to combat the smile that’s desperately trying to creep onto your face. “Who wouldn’t enjoy working with me?”

“Literally every person you’ve ever hired,” he throws back at you.

There’s not much you can say. He’s right. Which begs the question...

“Why do you like working with me?”

Gunwook hums contentedly. “There’s a lot of reasons.”

“Huh,” you reply, still admiring him in his street clothes. Unfortunately picking up Gunwook after class had only made your desire to be normal grow stronger. If things were different, maybe you would’ve met Gunwook in the dining hall on campus-- stared at him in his round glasses until one day you finally worked up the courage to speak to him. You’d have friends instead of employees. Art classes instead of meetings. Parties instead of paperwork. “They must be pretty good reasons to ditch lunch with your friends.”

“I actually usually skip lunch altogether so I can see you quicker,” he rebuts; eyes widening in panic as soon as he realizes what he’s just said. “I--... I mean, get to you quicker. You know... For work. And stuff.”

Gunwook was not known to throw an “and stuff” around very often-- he’s usually more eloquent and thoughtful when he speaks. The way his cheeks start to flush as he blinks at you; lips pouted like a baby chick... It's enough to make you wonder if his words might not have been a simple misspeaking, but rather a truth that slipped out accidentally.

“Come on,” you call, unfastening your seatbelt and opening the car door-- stepping out onto the sidewalk and waiting for your assistant to follow. Gunwook hops out of the car before sheepishly joining you on the sidewalk. You head towards the doors of your office building, but then, much to Gunwook’s surprise, continue to walk past them.

“President-nim?” He calls after you. “Where are you going?”

“To lunch,” you answer over your shoulder. “My assistant’s been going hungry in order to report to his boss on time! We don’t want a headline about that, do we?”

Hearing footsteps pounding against the pavement to catch up with you, your arm brushes against Gunwook’s as he falls into step beside you. “He does it willingly, though, (Y/N).”

“Not anymore, he doesn’t,” you reply, eyes focused on the road ahead of you in an effort to ignore his use of your name. “From now on, my favorite assistant will eat well and he’ll like it.”

Gunwook laughs next to you and you make the deadly mistake of looking up at him. He smiles at you fondly through the fringe that’s falling in his eyes and says softly:

“Whatever you say, President-nim.”

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pappydaddy · 9 months

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right behind you (s.h.)

a/n: once again, ignore the title please! i suck at titles sometimes! but this is a surprise fic because i heard that it was one of my lovely moots birthdays today! and i know they have been going through a really hectic time in their lives right now so i wanted to put a smile on their face! especially since this moot has been with me since like day one of my blog and their continued support has been a godsend!

so, without further ado, here is your surprise birthday fic @the-weeping-author! i was kind of stumped for what to write for you, but i know how much you love eternal flame so i figured i would make a prequel to it for you! i hope you love it lovely! and a big happy birthday to you! 💛

tv show/movie: stranger things | pairing: steve harrington x fem!wheeler!reader

not requested

prequel to eternal flame

synopsis: steve protects y/n, showing he will aways be right behind her and will always have her back.

warnings: spoilers for season 2 (kinda) | violence | billy being billy | blood mentioned | fluff sprinkled in

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The fall of King Steve didn’t bother Steve too much, particularly because he realised that the “King Steve” personna was not all that it was cracked up to be. And, because he had more important things in life then popularity. Y/N Wheeler being one of them. He had always noticed her. When she was sitting in the cafeteria with her friends or walking around the parking lot at school. Somehow, he never realised why he would always notice her. Not even when he was dating her sister last year or when he had rescued her from the demogorgon before he even knew what a demogorgon was, had he realised. It wasn’t until they were in that junkyard with a gaggle of kids, beating off a herd of demodogs. He remembered the moment so clearly.

He was out there by himself, a stupid decision on his part, surrounded by creatures straight from his nightmares. He had failed to notice one creeping up on him, belly to the ground - ready to pounce. He could hear the creek of the bus door being forced open, the startled calls of the kids behind him. His heart was beating too loud to hear what they were saying, his bat wound up. Whirling around to yell at them for opening the door, his words died in his throat when he saw the demodog spring from the ground towards him. A scream ripped from his throat as he stumbled backwards, falling on his ass, his eyes wide.

Just before the creature landed on him, another body side checked it, causing it to fall to the dirt with a thud. Breathing heavily, Steve looked up at his saving grace, seeing Y/N standing there, another bat raised high in the air as the demodog jumped back up, growling at her. The moonlight rained down on her like a spotlight from where Steve sat on the ground. In that moment, he swore he could see a halo around her head. “Steve,” She yelled, eyes never leaving the demodog as it stalked towards her. “What the hell are you doing,” She cried, snapping him back to reality. “Get your ass up! You might as well be bait if you’re just gonna sit there!”

A loud snarl ripped through the air as the demodog lunged at her before a loud thud was heard followed by a yelp. Steve’s eyes landed on movement from the shadows, seeing a monster emerging, their stomach low to the ground, their weird petal-like lips ripping in silent growls. His eyes widened and his blood ran cold when he saw it was headed right for Y/N. “Watch out!” He yelled, springing up from the ground, his hand grabbing his bat from the dirt beside him. In one fluid motion, he pulled the bat back and aimed it right at the creature, the nails embedding into its head.

“There are too many, Steve,” She yelled as the demodog Steve just shook off the hit, its skin regenerating from where the nails dug into its skull. “We need to get back on the bus,” Her chest rose and fell in panic, their backs hitting each other. For a second, it was like the electricity her touch sent through Steve’s body electrocuted his brain, stopping all brain activity for a moment. “Steve!” She yelled when he didn’t respond in any way.

“You run for the bus, I will be right behind you!” Steve ordered her. He felt her back leave his, a sign she wasn’t wasting anytime to follow his orders. He responded equally as fast, whirling around to see her converse covered feet touch the bottom step for point five seconds before she launched herself into the bus.

“Steve!” She yelled, launching him into movement. His sneakers beat against the loose dirt, creating a cloud around his feet. He could feel the thundering footfalls of the monsters behind him. So much adrenaline was rushing through him that he blacked out, unsure if his feet even hit the steps of the bus before the door was being slammed shut, his body curled up by the seat, his head somehow landing on Y/N’s lap.

Breathless, he shifted his head, looking up at her. Equally as breathless, she looked down at him. Her face had a few smudges of dirt on them, her hair tangled. “I was right behind you.” Was the only thing he could manage to say as the sight of her this close to him took the little breath he had away from him.

Right now, as he watched her float down the hall, totally engrossed in her conversation with her friend from her science class, he could care less about no longer being “King Steve” knowing that he was the reason he wasted so much time not loving her. Sure, there were questions in his head before the junkyard incident about his feelings towards the Wheeler girl, but he was with Nancy - her twin sister (another thing he was kicking himself for). He just viewed every moment leading up to the destruction of “King Steve” as a waste of time when he was not worshipping the ground she walked on. A waste of time where he could have been holding her, not Nancy who boosted his popularity.

Closing his locker, he watched her as she made her way through the busy halls. She was so completely unaware of his eyes on her as she chatted happily about her upcoming summer plans. Steve secretly hoped she would frequent his new job at an ice cream parlour in the new Starcourt Mall. He wanted to see her in sundresses, standing at the counter as she waited for her ice cream cone. He wanted to see her eyes light up when she talked. He wanted to see the different outfits she pieced together. Jean shorts and a band shirt, a skirt and a blouse, or any combination she thought was comfortable for the heat of the day.

A commotion further down the hall pulled him from his daydreams, seeing it was coming from the mass of people Y/N had just disappeared into. Hoisting his half empty bookbag higher onto his shoulder, he rushed through the crowd, his heart hammering in his chest as the worst possible scenarios rolled through his head. The sight he saw did nothing to calm his racing heart, in fact, it probably made it worse.

There stood Billy, standing high above the crowd as he smirked down at Y/N, his tongue darting out to flick over his bottom lip. “If you want me to move, you need to make it worth my while, Sweetheart.” He winked at her. Steve could see he was resting against her locker, his blue eyes looking down at her as if she were another challenge. Another notch in his belt once he got his way.

“I would rather stick my hand in the bin of gym socks.” Y/N sneered up at him, her chemistry and biology books clasped to her chests. Steve could see the way she pressed them to her, her fingers gripping them so hard they were turning white. She might appear like she wasn’t scared of Billy, but Steve could see her fear. Especially after their interaction with the Hargrove boy this fall.

“Hey, Hargrove,” Steve’s voice boomed, pushing through the growing crowd as he marched towards the newly appointed “King” of Hawkins. “Just move and leave her alone,” He suggested in a way that told him it was not a suggestion. “Go find some other person to bug.” He waved the taller boy off, pushing him back in order to stand between Y/N and Billy, making sure Billy got to him first.

“Aw, look at this, your bodyguard is back, Wheeler,” Billy smirked, his blue eyes lighting up just like they did that night, but just like that night, Steve wasn’t backing down. “Remember what happened last time, Harrington?” Billy asked, his thumb swiping along his jaw as he set it, showing his defined muscles.

From behind Steve, Y/N gulped loudly, her hand reaching up to rest on Steve’s shoulder. Steve wanted so desperately to turn around and comfort her, but he knew how Billy played. He played dirty and the second Steve turned his back, he would strike when his defences were low. “Steve, I don’t want you getting hurt again-”

“Yeah, listen to her, Steve,” Billy said mockingly, stepping closer to the pair in order to intimidate Steve. “Walk away before I hurt you again.”

“You have a better chance of getting taken down by a 12-year-old girl again than of me backing down, Hargrove.” Steve informed him, his nose flaring dangerously. The two guys glared at each other, neither of them saying anything else as their jaws ticked. Everyone could feel the tension as they stared into each other’s eyes, waiting for the other one to back down or throw the first punch.

Knuckles cracked and teeth ground together as the hall fell silent, everyone waiting for the familiar sound of a fist connecting with someone’s nose. Gasps filled the hall when the sound finally came followed by a string of curses leaving Steve and Billy’s mouths. “Steve!” Y/N cried out in shock, she threw her books to the side, grabbing the back of his shirt to yank him back. With him out of the way, she could see Billy on the ground, his nose leaking blood like a broken facet.

Mummers filled the hall as everyone started talking about how Steve finally won a fight with only throwing one punch. “Are you okay,” Steve asked Y/N, his voice raspy. She gave him a look as she grabbed his hand from where he clutched it to his chest. “Hey,” Steve called gently, bending down slightly, his hurt hand slipping from hers to grasp her chin between his pointer finger and his thumb gently. “Are you okay?” He asked again, brown eyes pouring into hers.

“I am okay, Steve,” She answered him, pulling his hand from her chin to inspect it. “You didn’t need to punch him, you know.” She told him, eyes flicking up to meet his before dropping back to his blood stained knuckles.

“He was bugging you, of course I had to,” Steve shrugged, winching when she pressed on one of his knuckles lightly. She gave him another look, earning a sheepish smile from him in return. “I’m always right behind you. I always have your back, Y/N.” He confessed in more ways than one, wishing he could just actually confess. Perhaps, if he performed more kind gestures, she would finally see how he feels about her.

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stressed-chaos · 2 years

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Darkness and Light - Darkling

Darkling x Sun Summoner!Fem!reader/OC

This is to make up for all the lost time! There is no use of a name, so it can be read as an original female character or as a female reader.

Let me know what you think of this one! This is my first time writing the Darkling so I'm nervous.

Warning: My shitty writing, food, mentions of arguing, fire, fighting, canon level violence (not too graphic), the cut being used, mentions of being sick, pregnancy.

If anyone wants to be tagged in any of my continuous daydreaming, they can let me know!

Darkness and light do not fit together. Shadows are scared by the light. Enough of shadows can cover the light, like her soul will be if she stays with him.

These were the words that traveled everyday in the halls of the Little Palace.

The sun was sinking into the river, relieving the burning water of its agony to rest for the night. Far away from the ice cold lands of Fjerda, in the shadow-fold separated land of Ravka, she was just about finished buying some ingredients needed for dinner. Aleksander had demanded to come along with, but she insisted on having some time for herself, ignoring his growing over protective efforts each day. She was a sun summoner after all, she knew how to defend herself.

He had not left her side for the past few days, taking her along for meetings and glaring at anyone who dares come close to her. In the night, he held her tighter, mindful not to hurt her, but in a protective stance. She was finally able to coax her husband to attend to an urgent task, slipping away for a while as soon as he left. She appreciated his protectiveness, but she was getting frustrated and did not have the heart to tell him of her misery, even if the pout formed on his face would be a sight to see. He was already taking care of her when she was sick and did not want him to think she was taking it for granted. Despite their arguments on the matter, his stubbornness won and she suspected their loyal guards were already following her from a distance.

Inspecting a tomato, she noticed a tall and broad presence standing next to her and she made way for them to complete their task. Soon, she moved away to inspect another vegetable but noticed the figure from the corner of her eyes. Were they standing closer than before?

She was prepared to use her powers if needed, but was not wishing to as it was causing more and more of an effort to use them for longer periods. Aleksander had zipped his lips on why that was the cause, but her symptoms supported the claim of it being the flu.

The person looked Fjerdan, with the tall build and broad shoulders, but she wasn’t quite sure and still keeping a mindful watch, she slowly started backing away, sure they were following her. They had noticed though, and their hands were moving in a Grisha movement discreetly. Her eyes grew wide at realizing it was an unfamiliar Inferni, and they were about to attack her. She successfully evaded the first attack, and tried to call the light with blood pounding in her head, adrenaline filling her body. Before she could respond, however, she heard the slashing whoosh of the cut being released and could only watch frozen as their body sliced in two.

She looked over her shoulder, seeing Ivan trying to calm her heartbeat, another Heartrender trying to fight the few people advancing towards them. But in the midst of it all, stood her husband, calling upon his shadows near her, to hide her from all the chaos. His eyes suddenly grew wide, looking over her shoulder and she ducked just in time to evade a sword blow. With an adrenaline filled instinct, she blinded the attacker and kicked them for good measure, rushing towards her husband when she was done. The screams of the battle became distant as she questioned her lover about the situation.

He grasped her hands, and silenced her with a quick kiss, ushered her body towards Ivan, eyes pleading not to fight his judgment when he saw her mouth opening. She struggled against Ivan, pleading with him to let her be with him, to not leave him alone in the center of an ambush. Her kicking and screaming was to no avail and eventually Ivan had to slow her heart down enough for her to faint, so he could safely carry her to the place his general had requested.

The sun summoner felt her world spinning, and felt arms catching her before she could fall. Her last words were a curse for Ivan, mixed with another sound of protest. Of course, she couldn’t fight the heartrender's effects and succumbed to the darkness, praying to the saints to keep her husband safe.

The exhaustion of the day, which felt like a week, had taken a toll on her and she awoke the next day, panicking when she didn’t recognise her surroundings. She rushed out of the bed with shaky legs, determined to find her whereabouts and her husband. Her world was still spinning but she shook her head to get rid of that and all the negative thoughts that danced in her head. She vaguely remembered a battle, and Aleksander and his request. She had to get to him and help.

The sun hit her face as soon as she opened the door and her hands instinctively went to her eyes, shielding herself. If he was here, he would’ve made a joke about her being the sun summoner and hiding from the sun. His laughing face brought tears to her eyes and she rushed even faster, ignoring the burning sun hitting her foot, urging her to halt.

Aleksander sighed as his army finished arresting everyone that was left alive, though his burning anger was on the verge of exploding and he was on the verge of slicing each of them in half. They don’t get to hurt his wife and be left alive. But he was supposed to be a diplomatic person and with the information he gets out of these people, can help him get more information on why they were planning to capture her.

But right now, he needs to get to his love.

As soon as he heard the word of his guards, he called Ivan and asked her to bring her to one of the safe houses they had built over the years. She was perfectly capable of defending herself but having been sick for a few days, she had not regained her full strength and shouldn’t be draining herself by using the small science even more.

He set apart the anger cursing through him, which was slowly being overtaken by pure fear. He threw away the negative thoughts and all the what ifs. He will get to his wife. She is safe. Guards are already there.

Thank the saints, he reached in time. He did not get a moment to imagine what might have happened if he was late, or of anything else. He greeted her as quickly as he could in the midst of a battle and ushered her towards Ivan, pleading for her to be safe. Relief swept through him when she was finally away from the chaos and he went to help his fellow Grisha.

He left someone in charge of interrogating them, not wasting another moment to rush to his wife. He was led to her room by Ivan and the sight he saw made him sigh happily, she was sleeping and she was safe. He kissed her forehead, “Never scare me like that again, milaya,” and left the room so she could get her much needed rest.

The news he heard from Ivan made him forget all his wounds.

The grand doors to the palace-like place opened but this time she was ready with a ball of light, its fate deciding on the person walking through those doors. The fate was for the ball to die, as none other than Aleksander walked through the doors, freezing as soon as he saw her. His steps faltered, and he stopped, contemplating if he should go to her or not. This choice was made for him by his wife, who ran in full speed towards him, colliding in his arms and kissing him deeply. Black kefta kissed another, reuniting the lovers after the almost heart attack of the ambush.

They broke apart for much needed oxygen, but did not leave each other's arms. Aleksander buried his nose in her hair, while she hid her face in his chest, smiling, both muttering, “You’re safe.”

She sprang apart suddenly, looking him up and down and he understood, “I’m unharmed, milaya.”

Seeing as she was about to question, he continued, “I’ll tell you everything, but can we sit first?” He could read her mind.

She nodded and he gently set her, like a raindrop that glides on a leaf. She lied down, and immediately put her head in his lap, burying her face in his stomach. Their hands were intertwined in a way and appeared as if they were one. She could hear his heart beating out of his chest and her own heart matched that rhythm. After a moment of peace, he began.

“I received a letter earlier. The Fjerdan spies had informed them of your weakness and insistence to go out on your own. It was a planned ambush. They were after us.”

“But there was an Inferni…” she said, confused.

“Those were some who abandoned the war effort and seeked refuge in Fjerda. It was agreed in exchange for them spying in the Little Palace. They were turning against their own people.”

She gasped. “They could’ve chosen not to fight, we gave them a choice.”

“They did not agree with our efforts.”

“I’m sorry, Sasha. I shouldn’t have ran.”

“No, it was my fault too. I shouldn’t have been forcing you to stay.”

Moments of peace were what they longed for. With their duties for their people, and dealing with the king, spared them little time for each other. Still their deep love made their marriage work into an example which could be written in romance novels.

Hand in hand, laughing, they were taking a stroll. They had decided to stay for a few days and let other people deal with the issues. It was their sanctuary, untouched by the stress of work, war and the rebellion across the fold.

She noticed the surroundings, having not given them a second thought before, “This could be a beautiful place to live, Aleksander.”

He agreed, “A perfect place for us…and our little miracle.”

He hesitated. They had talked of kids, but it was more of a one day situation. When Ivan had told him the news, Aleksander was overjoyed, and had personally decided to kill all those alive for trying to hurt his family. When that was settled, he grew worried, Would he be a good father? Would their kid love him if they found out he made the shadow fold? Would they still love him when they find out about the people he has killed?

His worries were taken away by the sound of the door opening and his wife’s silhouette.

Her eyebrows furrowed, “Our what?”

“You know what.”

“Don’t you think if it was, I would be the one to tell you, not the other way round?”

“Heartrenders, milaya.”

She gasped. A heartrender could detect the heartbeat of the little kid residing in her belly. If a heartrender says so, there is a minute chance that they would be wrong. Her hands instinctively went to her stomach and were met with her husbands’. She looked at him, teary eyed, “We’re going to be parents?”

“We’re going to be parents,” his words sounded a little distracted, he was frowning. She noticed and tried to calm his worries, “If they are anything like me, they will love their father because of everything he has done for us and his people.”

He chuckled. She knew him so well.

“I hope they are just like their mother.”

She shook her head, “I hope they are a perfect blend of us both.”

Aleksander pulled her closer by her waist, burying his face in her neck, “I love you, milaya.”

“I love you too, sweet love.”

Only a few words echoed with their reality.

Once together, darkness and light are a force that can destroy countless worlds.

They compliment one another and are forever content as long as they are together.

I actually am thinking of it as a prologue for a Kaz Brekker x reader fic (with the same name) I have plans for (he may be slightly OOC...and I'll try to keep it gender neutral, but no plans just yet), but this can also be read as a solo work!

I'm thinking to begin working on it after I finish rewriting my old fic, but who knows!

#ben barnes #benjamin barnes #benjamin thomas barnes #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x y/n #ben barnes x you #fanfic #shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers #darkling #darkling x reader #aleksander morozova #kaz brekker #six of crows #Darkness and Light #darkling x oc #darkling x fem oc

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sissytobitch10seconds · 3 months

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Birdsong: Hard Sell

Fandom: Grishaverse: Shadow and Bone, Six of Crows, and The Grisha Trilogy Summary: Every other time in her life, when she got everything she thought she wanted, the rug had been pulled out from beneath her feet. What was stopping this from being any different? Warnings: Depression, self-destructive behaviors, mentions of grooming, fatphobia, body dysmorphia, and anxiety Word Count: 11,988 Ship(s): Nina Zenik/Matthias Helvar/Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa/Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck

Archive link!

A/N: We've reached the last fic in this series! I may return to it one day but I don't have any plans to do so. I really like the way that it turned out here with the focus on Nina from each of the partners and then herself. I hope that you guys have enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, it means a lot to me as the first SaB fic that I wrote. Thank you all so much for reading! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

Birdsong:

Hard Sell

A Grishaverse Fanfiction

A Nina Zenik/Matthias Helvar/Kaz Brekker/Wylan Van Eck/Jesper Fahey/Inej Ghafa Fanfiction

By Sissytobitch10seconds

Tour was both everything that she had ever hoped it was and the hardest thing that she had ever done.

Nina had dreamed about being a big enough artist to go out and do tours since she had decided that she wanted to be a performer. When the manager of Shadow and Bone brought it up, agreeing to do it was a no-brainer for her. Alina was the only one that had gone on tour before, with Nikolai doing a mini set back when he was performing as Sturmhond, and she had been a bit more wary of the whole thing. It had been a decision that they had decided coincided perfectly with the official release of their first album, so they took it. They were doing a single show in every city that they went to with a couple of days resting in some of the bigger places. Nina knew that the open days were going to get filled with shows as time went on and there was proof for the demand of them, she was well aware of how that worked.

Shadow and Bone was growing vastly in popularity the longer that they continued to produce music. Even in just the year that she had been together with her partners, which was six months after the band had reformed, they had already exploded in the number of streams that their songs had on Spotify. They were finally in a place where they were getting enough money from the Shadow and Bone merch and album purchases that they could support themselves. Alina was the one that needed that the most, since Kirigan had taken most of the money that she had made under the stage name The Sun Summoner. Zoya came after her when it came to being supported by the band, since the money that she got from being a touring drummer was only so good. Nikolai had never been hurting for money with how wealthy his family was. Nina was still getting quite a bit of money from her Heartrender music, too.

They were apparently also getting a lot more popular because of the imploding that The Fold was doing. More and more artists were following in Alina and Nina’s footsteps as they revealed the shady and shitty business practices that they had. The public opinion of the recording studio was plummeting, which meant that more people were reaching out to Shadow and Bone since one of their singers had been the face of the company for a while.

While they were on tour, a couple of the days that had been free on their schedule were instead taken up with interviews. Alina was the one that was focused on during them, but Nina and Zoya were also asked a couple of questions about everything that they had gone through. Nina released what she was comfortable with and kept quiet about what she wasn’t. That had gotten her quite a lot of flak from unhappy studios that hadn’t gotten the massive scoop that they were hoping for. The fans on the internet backed her up, as did her partners and bandmates, but it was beginning to wear her down.

She had always struggled with feeling like she was doing the right thing and being signed under Kirigan had only worsened that. During the harder days, the words that her mother had said would intermingle with his until she felt like a shell of herself.

“You’ll never be ladylike if you do that. You need to be more graceful. Cut down on your portions so that your future husband will actually want you. No wonder your father didn’t fight that hard in the custody battle if this is how you’re going to act.” Her mother.

“Just trust me, why are you so difficult? Calm down and actually listen for once. You’re just not as talented, it’s something you’re going to have to accept. Maybe if you were prettier then you would be selling better.” Kirigan.

She knew that Alina had it worse. She had been raised in the same kind of strict environment as Nina, which is where they had met. She had the worst of the abuse since she had also been in a romantic relationship with the horrible narcissist stealing their money from them as young teenagers. The words still ate Nina from the inside out, turning all-consuming and threatening to never leave.

She was aware that they would eventually leave, they always did. Regardless of what life threw at her, she was always there to take the next step forward and keep living. She wasn’t going to let something like her own depression and anxiety keep her from living the dreams that she had before they set in. She knew that she was going to struggle on the tour since things in the band were still a little rocky and the manager was going to be pushing them as hard as he could to get as much money as they could out of it.

They played sold-out show after sold-out show. They met with countless fans and spent hours talking to them when they tried to get food. They had even had to take off late one morning because someone had found their tour bus and wanted to get a picture.

Despite the constant go-go-go nature of the tour lifestyle that she now found herself in, there were still good moments. She woke up every morning to a picture of her partners, Inej sending her own separate one, letting them know that they missed her. She got near constant updates about what they were doing, like their group chat had become their polycule’s own specific social media. She knew that the certain set of vibrations in her pocket would mean that her partners were checking in with her, which always filled her up with so much love she felt as though she might burst.

Nina also lived for being able to play the music live. She could only imagine how intense it would be if she had brought some of her more scream-adjacent songs from her Heartrender discography instead of the more chill music that Shadow and Bone produced. She lived for the sound of the fans cheering back at her and the bass reverberating through the stage as it traveled through the speakers. Her favorite part was when everyone heard their favorite song and began to cheer even louder than they had been before.

Their biggest show was in the capitol, which was also where they had been doing a bunch of interviews with famous celebrities for late night talk shows. It was exhausting and so rewarding to finally step onto the tour bus so they could be taken to the next place that they needed to be.

Currently, she had performed her last show and was sitting in the hotel room that reminded her that she was a hop, skip, and jump away from her home with her partners. That idea had been thrilling up to a point, until she realized that she was going to be getting home at just the wrong time. Inej wouldn’t be back until the next day from her own set of shows. Matthias and Jesper would be doing their own respective jobs at the theater, with the former moving around sets and fixing broken props while the latter acted the main roll. Wylan had just had to travel out of the state so that he could attend a conference with other scientists as his study was coming to a close. Kaz would be opening the bar and it was one of the more important nights where he couldn't just step out unless there was an emergency.

Arguably, it was probably better for her to have a night alone in her apartment before she swamped herself with even more interaction. It would give her tired body a chance to actually rest and recuperate like she desperately needed, but she didn’t want it. She only ever really felt safe and warm when she was wrapped up in the arms of one of her partners. Even if Kaz was still feeling cuddled out like he had mentioned in the group chat that morning, being next to him or even in the same room as him made her soul feel like it was finally at rest.

Guilt sprang up in her stomach at the thought. She was the one that had decided that she was going to go on the tour and now she was complaining that even more people couldn’t warp their lives around her own wants in her schedule.

She missed them so aggressively that her brain couldn’t help but mention how much they didn’t. Logically, she knew that those things had to be wrong. They had enough partners with each other that if they really didn’t want her then they would have told her before they got to the point in their relationship that they had. Then again, her mind chimed in helpfully to remind her, they had another girlfriend in the chat that they were likely corresponding with over her.

Nina had been so worn down because of the travel that she hadn’t been able to reply consistently to them. She had instead had to give them a barrage of things and reactions to what they had done when she finally got a break for the night. Even then, she usually fell asleep on her bunk on the bus before they got the chance to reply back to her.

She had been the absolute worst for the last month that she had been touring. She knew that they deserved better than her, and she could see what the better example of her was. Genya had always been a complicated person to get to know but she was quite literally everything that Nina wasn’t.

She had been signed with Kirigan before Nina and Alina had the chance. She was quiet, demure, and beautiful beyond all belief. She found time to call her finance every night before she turned in to bed and each morning when she woke up. She was careful of how much she ate and every action that she made while she moved. Nikolai had always been somewhat ambivalent towards her, but Zoya and Alina were thick as thieves with her. It was difficult for Nina to watch, but she forced herself to do so anyway.

Sitting on the floor of her hotel room by herself, in the dark, her mind really came to life. It began to take apart every single text that she had received that was less than glowing, every single comment and message that she had gotten from fans and interviewers alike, and every action of her bandmates. Her mind rifled through the memories of the past month to remind her of all the bad things that had happened, every action that meant she was unwanted or causing problems in some way.

She had been trying to sleep for the duration of the night and gave up somewhere around three in the morning. She would be able to sleep a little bit on the bus as it brought them back to where they had started. The motion always lulled her into a fugue state anyway, which would work in tandem with her depressive episode.

Nina slipped off of the bed and then dressed in one of Matthias’ shirts that had gotten mixed in with the things in her bag when she was packing. She was wearing the ring that Jesper had given her for their six month anniversary on a chain around her neck, right next to the locket that Inej had gifted her containing a picture of all their partners together. She had a sweatshirt from Wylan that she draped over her shoulders to keep her back warm while she worked. Kaz was the only person that she didn’t have something of, which had been eating at her during their month of separation as well.

She set her phone down on the desk in front of her and then turned on the desk light. It illuminated her in soft yellow light, but wasn’t bright enough that it might shine through the window and let other people know that she was awake. She had become a bit paranoid about some of their fans finding out where she was and coming to her hotel room, likely because of some of the stories Genya had been telling during their trip.

The mirror in front of the desk stared back at her as soon as she turned on the light. Her hair was a little messy, the curls shoved back into the ponytail that she had managed to find at the bottom of her toiletries bag after her post-show shower. A couple of them had already escaped and were falling down into her eyes and across her cheeks. She could see every tiny imperfection of her skin, including the blackhead that had formed next to her nose and the line of zits on her hairline. The discoloration of the freckles on the bridge of her nose was upsetting when it wasn’t being hidden by the makeup that was packed away in her suitcase. She had dark bags under her eyes from her struggles to sleep on the bus consistently.

Still, she had to do something or she was going to lose her mind from stress and the voices in the back of her mind. She plugged in her phone and then got it propped up so that it was filming her entire upper half. She grabbed her guitar and situated it in her lap before she flicked to Instagram and went live. Most of her fans lived in the same country as her since her music hadn’t quite gone international even when she had been making a few covers of traditionally Slavic songs to honor her mother. She wasn’t expecting her fans to be up or willing to jump on a live with her at that time. She also usually announced that she was going to go live an hour before she did, which was also going to decrease the number pretty significantly.

She leaned back in the desk chair, looking up at the ceiling of the hotel. She could already see the number beginning to climb until it hovered around a hundred. She gave her usually, dorky little wave to her phone as she said, “Hey everyone! I know that I haven’t been as active as usual, but tour ended up being a lot busier than I thought it was going to be. I hope you’re all having a wonderful night.”

A small smile crossed her face as she saw the messages already streaming in. Most of them were saying hi back to her, or reassuring her that it was okay that she hadn’t been as active. One asked her which city she was in now, which was a question that she could actually answer. She liked being able to interact with her fans on a much smaller scale than usual, it felt almost like returning to when she and Alina were dumb sixteen-year-olds making music on their bedroom floors.

“Where’s Alina? She’s in the other room sleeping right now, probably,” Nina forced herself to laugh. It was getting really old to be pushed to the side for her friend, especially when she was the one that put the most effort into the songwriting and sung most of their album. “What did you guys think of the album? Should I play you something from that or would you prefer something new?”

She was plucking at the strings of her guitar as she carefully turned the pegs back and forth. She was worried that after having to tune her instrument to so many different songs that the strings were finally going to snap, which would result in her being instrument-less until Jesper could take her to the store to buy some more. She winced as she remembered her partner, her mind reminding her time and time again that he had been happier without her. She brought a raincloud with her that ruined and soured the lives that she touched.

She looked down at the chat and forced another smile as she saw that they were all cheering for something new. “I’ve been working on this song for a while, actually, so I’m kind of excited to share it with you all. Zoya has been helping me with it and it sounds much better with her, but you’ll have to settle for now.”

Nina took a deep breath as she found her fingering on the guitar neck and began to sing, “I'm trying to make something of myself. My better days, I go buy the hard sell. But I feel like I'm working with barbed wire and moth wings 'cause I can't really get a hold of many things. I'm one deep breath away from a breakdown. My nerves are wrecked and coming unwound. The world is hostile and I'm fragile and I need someone to kiss the cuts and tell me to keep trying. Is it me? Is it really just me? Does everybody have it together or are we all pretending? Is it me? Is it really just me? Holding it together with one loose string that I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop pulling. I rip myself apart at the seams. I find one weak spot and start unraveling, hoping I can find a better me. A fresh new start buried under me. Is it me? Is it really just me? Does everybody have it together or are we all pretending? Is it me? Is it really just me? Holding it together with one loose string that I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop pulling. Can we stop pretending now? Can we stop pretending now? Can we all admit that we don't have it figured out? Can we stop pretending now? Can we stop pretending now? Can we all admit that we don't have it figured out? Is it me? Is it really just me? Does everybody have it together or are we all pretending? Is it me? Is it really just me? Holding it together with one loose string that I can't stop, I can't stop, I can't stop pulling, I can't stop pulling, I can't stop pulling.”

At some point during the song, she had started crying. She barely even noticed the hot tears streaking down her face and onto her chin as she sang until she was pulled out of it. Her eyes had been clamped shut as she remembered each lyric that followed the one coming from her mouth. Her heart ached in her chest and her throat felt raw when she had finally stopped.

Her stomach dropped dramatically when she realized that she had started crying. She sniffled and wiped the tears away as quickly as she could. Nina forced another smile onto her face like she had been doing the entire day as she said, “Sorry for that, you guys. I didn’t mean to get all sentimental on you. I’ve had a really long couple of weeks, believe it or not.”

The chat had calmed down slightly but she was still getting a flood of little heart emojis. As soon as the apology had left her lips, people began to rave about her song and a couple even commented that they wished they had been there to hear the whole thing. “I think that I can chat for a while longer, but I don’t think that I should play any more music. I don’t want to wake up Nikolai, you would not believe how grumpy he is until he gets his coffee,” Nina said. She placed her head on her hand and tried not to look at the face that was reflected back at her. She usually felt so confident in her own body, but she had gotten so many comments about it from the stage crews that had helped the band and the interviewers that it was in the forefront of her mind.

She answered a few more questions until her phone started to get really hot from charging while she was live-streaming. She waved goodbye to all of her fans and then ended it so that she could collapse back into her bed.

The smell of Wylan and Matthias wrapped around her in a way that should have just been comforting, but instead made her heart ache even more than it had before. She felt like a pit was opening up inside of her and the only thing that she could get out of it were the horrible things that her mother and Kirigan had said to her. It was sucking all of the energy, the love, the joy that she should have been feeling out of her and replacing it with self-hatred and pain.

She stripped off the jacket and the shirt, placing them tenderly and carefully down onto the bed. She put on the shirt that she was going to be wearing during transit that day and then carefully folded the two garments. She removed the chain with the ring and the locket, even though it felt like she was losing a hand as she did so. She placed it carefully down in the center of the shirt and then layered the hoodie over the top of it. She carefully placed them both down in the suitcase lid and zipped it closed so that it would be safe when it was being moved around but also inaccessible to her.

Nina went to the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror, watching the imperfections of her face crease and move as she tilted her head this way and that. She poked and prodded at the places of her body she didn’t like, the fat rolls on her back and the plumpness of her stomach.

Voices in the back of her mind reminded her of everything she wasn’t. Alina was able to eat anything she wanted and maintained the stick-figure thin outline. Genya took time out of her day instead of focusing on something silly so that she could actually take care of her skin. Zoya had curly hair that she could actually contain and a youthful face. Nikolai never had to worry about what he looked like because he was never subjected to the harsh beauty standards that she, as a woman, had to endure every day since she became a teenager.

By the time that the voices had taken over her mind, she was crying again. Her face was tilted down towards the sink as she tried to stifle the sobs. They threatened to break through the air around her, to make her pain more real. She shouldn’t have been having that pain at all, she reminded herself. This is exactly what she had done when she was signed under Kirigan and it had made her life in the music industry so much harder until she had Alina by her side. The guilt over the resentment her friend coming out and being believed instead of her was going to consume Nina. It was already trying.

She forced down the emotion and decided that she was going to effect as few lives as possible. She pulled out her makeup and covered up all of the imperfections that she hated. A simple smokey eye with catwing eyeliner, like she had done for every day when she was on tour during the time that she wasn’t performing. Her favorite color of strawberry lipstick went on her lips, plumpening them enough that she was more appealing and less pouty.

Nina then shoved everything into her toiletries kit and put that in her suitcase as well. Her bag was packed other than her book, laptop, phone, and its charger.

Remembering the device that lay on the hotel desk reminded her of the next step in her plan. She sat back down in the chair that she had been in before and opened up the texting app. It had brought her so much light and life to see each text as it rolled in while she was being whisked from place to place, but she wasn’t sure the same could be said for her partners. On the off chance that they did love her and they weren’t doing it out of some kind of strange obligation, she knew how much it had to be tearing them up to have her away from them. She had seen how much Matthias and Jesper both pouted when Inej was gone. Having two girlfriends without either of them being in reach had to be torture, she knew that it was for her. So she was going to end that pain for them.

It would hurt for a while to do it this way, but they would have each other to use to recover and then they would be fine. She wouldn’t drag them down and she wouldn’t ruin their lives like she had every other partner, friend, and parent that she had ever known.

She opened up the app and voiced the message as she wrote it, “Hey, sorry for the late text. I just wanted to let you all know that this last year has been the absolute best in my life and I adore you all very much. But I think that it’s time we finally admit that you’d all be happier without me. You’ve done nothing to persuade me of this, you’ve all been absolutely wonderful and the problem could never be with you. It’s just with me, the problem is always with me. I hope that you can help each other through any pain that might come from this break up. Know that I did and do truly love you, I’m doing this to help you live better lives.”

She left the chat and then abandoned her phone on the table. She tilted her head up and blinked furiously to try and keep the tears from running down her face again. She had enough time to redo her makeup if she did cry again, but it felt like giving into the part of herself that she was furiously trying to keep behind lock and key.

Nina marched to her bed and grabbed her laptop. She sat with the duvet discarded off to the side, only using the top sheet to keep herself warm since the other blanket reminded her too much of her now ex-girlfriend. She plugged in her headphones and pulled up her favorite comfort show so that she could forget all of the pain that was plaguing her life until she had to get up in the morning.

---

She went through breakfast without eating anything despite the waffle maker almost screaming her name. Nothing could be louder than the voice of Kirigan right behind her eyes, reminding her that if her body was more desirable then she wouldn’t struggle so much to get the same amount of fame as Alina. Being around her bandmates and manager felt like torture but she stuck through it, smiling pleasantly when Genya said good morning to her despite her wanting to scream and sob.

They were finally back on the bus and she had an excuse to be relatively alone. She was sitting in one of the little booths, the one that had the table where a few of them had taken to eating at, and stared out the window. Her headphones were on and plugged into the phone that she had turned off, playing nothing into her head but being a relatively effective deterrent. She had to prove to herself and the glimmering hope in her breast that her bandmates were fine without her. She couldn’t leave them because it would be more of a hassle to replace her than to put up with her curse, but they didn’t need her as a friend.

She was doing fine, ignoring her feelings and passing the time with her own thoughts and song lyrics, until Nikolai slid into the seat across from her. He grabbed her phone and unplugged her headphones from the jack to get her to pay attention to him, which was actually one of his favorite things to do when he felt he wasn’t getting enough stimulus from the others.

“What?” she asked, immediately regretting it when she realized how snappish the words had been when they came out of her mouth.

“What did you do?” he asked.

“Why do you always assume that I’ve done something?” she asked, snatching her phone back.

He was staring down at the device like it was going to blow up in his hand since it hadn’t immediately turned on when he took it from her like it always did. She removed her headphones so that they were around her neck and then plugged the jack back in while waiting for him to finally explain himself. Nikolai shook his head to rid the thoughts he had been focused on, much like a dog. “Tolya said that Jesper has been freaking out since early this morning. I assume that since he was one of your boys, you had something to do with it.”

Her heart ached in her chest, spreading pain throughout the rest of her body. The skin on her arms and over her chest felt like it was peeling away from her in the desperation for her soul to be pressed back into her body. She felt unlike herself, moments away from screaming or crying. She couldn’t figure out which one was right but she knew that the emotions brewing in her gut had to go somewhere.

Nina shoved it down immediately. She was going to remove herself from everyone’s lives, that had been her plan. She couldn’t allow herself to explode and to hurt others when they had been nothing but tolerant of her. Her hurt was for her to deal with alone, as she always had.

“I didn’t have anything to do with it,” she lied through gritted teeth. “I’m guessing that Inej came back early or something.”

“I don’t think so,” Nikolai shook his head. “From what Tolya was complaining about nothing that Jesper was doing was particularly… exciting.”

“All you said was that he was freaking out,” Nina replied, a little bit annoyed at the whole situation. She didn’t want him prying into the very tender wound that was her recent breakup.

Every time she thought about the fact that she was never going to see those people again, she felt as though she was going to die on the spot. Her mind kept informing her that she would never have Matthias’ arms around her or hear Wylan practicing the piano while he composed something new, or listen to Kaz argue with Jesper over something unimportant, or smell Inej’s body wash when they were hiding in her loft bed, or dance in the living room with Jesper after everyone else had gone to bed ever again. It felt raw and painful in a way that none of her other breakups had felt. There was no relief at having to fake the love any longer, to pretend that she was comfortable going on expensive dates or getting pricey gifts. She only felt the pain that came with knowing that a part of her life that she had really enjoyed was over.

“Nina, what’s the matter?” Nikolai asked. He folded his hands in front of him and leaned forward so that he was a bit closer than before. He was acting like that was going to make it easier for them to hide what they were talking about, to give them some modicum of privacy when they hadn’t had that since they had stepped onto the godforsaken bus.

“Nothing is the matter,” she said, which even she could tell sounded like a lie. There was a waver in her throat and her makeup had already been destroyed around her waterline. The fact that she had tucked herself away in the booth instead of lounging out over the couch while chatting with Alina and Zoya was a big show of that.

He reached across the table and took her hand in his, holding it like he had when they had first decided to make the band. Everything was making her lust after a time that she could no longer ever have, one that had passed her by and compounded new trauma in the forefront of her mind. “We’ve been friends for years, that excuse really isn’t going to work on me,” he assured her. “You can just tell me what’s wrong. I’m not going to judge you and I want to be here for you.”

She carefully took her hand back from him and then began to fiddle with the edge of her phone case. It was one that Wylan had ordered for her after she kept complaining about how terrifying it was to think about all the cracks she could get while performing with it even just in her pocket. It was a construction grade case that was still sleek and had now been decorated with a sticker from her own favorite band. “I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”

Nikolai sat back in his chair, looking over her with those critical eyes that made her feel bare. She didn’t like people examining her that closely, especially when she already felt as self-conscious as she did. “How about I give you another hour on the bus and then we’ll talk again, okay?”

“Okay,” she finally relented. She had enough wear in her soul already from not being able to sleep the night before and all the crying that she couldn’t keep fighting him. Her only hope at the moment was that he would forget before the time came and she’d be able to avoid it regardless.

He dislodged himself from the booth and walked over to another part of the bus so that he could join in the conversation that Zoya and Alina were having. Nina grabbed her phone and headphones, balling them both up in her hand so that they were constricting around her neck any longer, and then removed herself from the booth as well. She walked back to the bunk that she had been using and collapsed into it. She dropped her headphones and phone next to her, useless since the device was turned off and the headphone trick hadn’t even worked.

She turned her head away from the curtain that was only half drawn to cover herself as she pretended to nap and looked over everything. She had taped several polaroids of herself and her partners to the walls to keep herself happy when she was missing her partners. She missed them even more than she had when she was traveling, now knowing that she had resigned herself to not be able to see them when she got back. She was so dreadfully alone and it was all her own doing, even if it had been for the protection of the people that she loved.

---

An hour of driving passed by before someone came to rouse her from the nap she had dozed off into. She had still been aware of where she was in her bunk and what was happening around it, so all it took was their hand on her ankle for her to startle awake “Is everything okay?” she asked nervously as she pulled back the curtain so that the other was revealed.

“I came to ask you the same question,” Alina replied. “Do you wanna cuddle and talk about it?”

That was something that they had done often when they were teenagers in high school. They would go to one of their houses, usually Alina’s because her foster mother was almost always at work, and cuddle underneath the blankets. They would hold each other while the other blubbered about boys, girls, breakups, heartache, and all the other shitty things that came with learning how to be a human in the world. It was cathartic and something that had brought them together even more than their shared Catholic school trauma had.

“I don’t know,” she shook her head, which brought her attention to the fact that even more of her untamable curls had escaped the confines of her ponytail.

Alina pouted a little bit. “I think that it would maybe make you feel better.”

“What do you know about it?” she asked, her mouth flickering down into a frown. The idea that Nikolai had brought her problems to the attention of all the others in the band made the guilt inside of her stomach grow even wider. She felt like she was drowning in her emotions, being pulled into the ocean of sadness and pain by a riptide that she had no hope of escaping.

“Nikolai mentioned that Tolya wouldn’t shut up about Jesper not being able to shut up,” she explained. “And I noticed that you didn’t come out when we stopped for lunch.”

“I’m not hungry,” Nina lied. She had been starving and they were getting fast food at her favorite place. The sensitivity around how much she ate was still there in full-force, overwhelming and gnawing at her body.

“You didn’t eat anything at breakfast either,” Alina noted. Her brows furrowed together as she poked her best friend further into the bunk. She climbed in so that they were laying side by side, tilted so that their fronts were facing each other so that they could both fit in the tiny space. “Nina, what’s going on?”

She closed her eyes as she tried to keep the emotions locked where they belonged, deep inside of her heart in the place that only her ex-partners had ever been able to reach. She took a deep breath as she answered, “It’s not a big deal, I’m just having a bad day.”

Nina could almost hear Alina’s frown as she said, “I think that’s actually a monumental big deal.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re my best friend and you were there for all of my bad days. You’ve also been going through it recently,” she replied immediately. Alina reached down and grasped Nina’s hand, so hard that the other woman could feel the scar along in her palm. “You were there for me when I finally ended things with Kirigan and through the whole process of trying to reach out to Mal again. The least I can do is support you when you’re having a bad brain day.”

Nina whimpered as she snuggled closer to Alina. Her arms wrapped around the other girl’s hips and her face was lost in the space of her collarbone, hiding away from the world. Alina responded by completing the hug, weaving her arms behind Nina’s back. It didn’t feel as good as when Matthias and Inej did it, or the rare moments that she got to cuddle Jesper for longer than five minutes, but it was better than nothing. It soothed the touch starved ache burning under her skin by micrometers.

She waited for a while, threading her fingers through her childhood friend’s hair for a while before asked again, “What’s going on?”

“I broke up with them, Alina,” she finally admitted. Saying it out loud made the entire thing feel more real. That was why she had verbalized the text as she was sending it, to try and cement it in her head that what she was doing was the right thing in the long run. Finally admitting that she had broken it off with the healthiest relationship she had ever had in her entire life made everything come crashing down around her. “I’m so fucking selfish. All I can think about is how much I hate my face and my body and being second to you even though we make the music together and I just… they deserve so much better than me.”

“What?” Alina asked, pulling back. She sat up so fast and so suddenly that she hit her head on the top of the bunk and immediately winced, being forced back down while cradling the back of her skull. “Come on, we’re going to go talk with the others about this,” she insisted.

They both slipped out of the bunk so that they were standing. Nina was crying so hard that her makeup was already streaking off, she could feel the heat of her tears beginning to seep down to her skin. She wasn’t able to stop the sobs as they bubbled out of that black abyss in her gut, forcing their way through her throat.

Alina grabbed her hand and nearly dragged her to the main living area where everyone else was sitting. She stopped on the way to grab a packet of makeup wipes and a box of tissues. She dumped them both down on the coffee table in front of the couch in the living room area of the tour bus before she pushed Nina down onto the seat beside Nikolai and Zoya. Both of their aforementioned band partners balked when they saw the state that the woman was in.

“You were right, Zoya, she’s not okay,” Alina sighed as she sat down in front of Nina. She held the other woman’s hand again, rubbing her thumb over her knuckles. Another massive wave of grief washed over Nina as she wished that it was Wylan doing that instead.

“We can see that, Alina. And I’m always right,” Zoya said, her chin jutting out with a strike of confidence.

Nikolai waved his hand in between the two of them to get them to shut up before they could start another one of their tedious arguments. “None of that now, we need to focus on Nina.”

“No you don’t,” she sniffled mournfully.

“Of course we do, we’re your friends and we love you,” Zoya informed her, the touch of annoyance that almost always clung to her words somehow gone. She reached over onto the table and handed Nina one of the makeup wipes so that she could get rid of the streaks that were left over after her crying.

She was still sobbing, unable to stop the emotions from bursting forth out of her after what she had admitted to her friend. She still took the offered item and then used it to wipe down her face. When she finished, Alina took it from her and placed the box of tissues directly down into the center of Nina’s lap.

Alina took a deep breath as she finally announced, “Nina is having a bad brain day. She hasn’t eaten anything all day and she broke up with her partners.”

Next to her, Nikolai wrapped an arm around the back of her shoulders to bring her into a hug and winced. “That would explain why Jesper is freaking out.”

“You didn’t think that bit of information was important to bring up to the rest of us?” Zoya asked. She dislodged herself from the couch and walked over to the kitchenette part of the bus. She got out a bottle of water and one of the leftover peanut butter cracker packs that they had. The snacks were rather bare bones at that point in their trip since they were all headed back home. They had just enough that no one would have to get hangry while waiting to pull into town so that they could get something.

She returned back to the table and handed them both to Nina with a no-nonsense expression painted over her strict features. “Thank you,” she mumbled as she took them both. She opened the water first and sipped on it while she tried to quiet her tears on her own. She swallowed and they were gone, the emotion still hovering just behind her eyes and sitting in a lump in the middle of her chest but not visible to the outside.

“It’s fucking horrifying that you know how to do that,” Nikolai shook his head, his nose wrinkling with his distaste.

“Catholic school,” Nina and Alina echoed at the same time. That caused a small giggle from the former, which made the latter smile reassuringly.

Zoya kicked the edge of the couch as she sat down to get them both to turn towards her. “Can I ask why you thought that it was a good idea to break up with the rest of your polycule? Things were good with them and you were having a good time.”

“It just…” she shook her head. “I really don’t want to talk about this.”

She peaked through the curls now hanging down into her eyes as the other shared a look with each other before they turned properly back to their friend. Alina was the one that restarted the conversation, “Fine. Self destructive break up talk can happen later. Do you think you can talk about some of the other things that you mentioned?”

Nina fidgeted. She tipped her head back and finished half of the water bottle in one go. Zoya nodded at her approvingly and then nudged the crackers with her hand to try and coax her into eating them. Despite not being particularly hungry, her stomach clenching into a knot as she thought about all of the comments that had been made about her, she opened the package and popped one into her mouth.

After she had swallowed it, she said, “I just… the comments that some of the fans were making got to me. The interviewers weren’t much better.”

“It was really fucking frustrating to have to watch them fawn over Alina when you’re the one that got screwed over by the company even harder,” Nikolai nodded reassuringly. “Trust me, Zoya and I were about a second away from pulling you out of the chair and refusing to let them talk to you during that last one.”

“That guy was an ass,” Alina nodded her head in agreement so emphatically that Nina was worried she was going to break her own neck in the process. She then carefully said, “I know that we can’t really do anything to undo the damage that he did to you when it comes to your body, but I promise that you’re beautiful.”

“I can think of something,” Genya said, startling them all. They hadn’t realized that she had walked out of the master bedroom space at the back of the bus. “You know that the only reason he kept me around was because he thought I was beautiful, which is why I was fired pretty quickly after the accident,” she gestured to the patch over her eye where the scars around were just peaking past the fabric.

Nina nodded, guilt gnawing at her insides. She knew that Genya suffered from the same self-conscious and poor body image issues that she did, so it made her envy of the other woman feel all the more intrusive and wrong.

The redhead walked over to the table, sitting down beside Alina. “You are beautiful. Just because you don’t fit the modern day aesthetic of skinny women that somehow have huge boobs doesn’t mean that you’re not. Imagine how many young people out in the audience saw you all dolled up and pretty on the stage and saw themselves. You may not have confidence in your own body, but to them you are the walking embodiment of their own beauty and confidence.”

That did make her feel a little bit better. The reassurance that she was getting from her friends was exactly what she needed. The conversation veered back to the less than favorable things that the interviewers had done when they had the whole band or even the two main singers. Nina finished her water and crackers, cleaning her face of the tears with the tissues in her lap. She ended up falling asleep with her head on Nikolai’s shoulder for the rest of the trip.

---

She felt like walking death as she hauled all of her belongings up the stairs to her apartment. The elevator was still broken, as it had been when she had left a month before. Her phone hung heavy in her pocket, turned all the way off so that she couldn’t get any texts or social media messages that would make her bad day even worse. It was good when it came to her sensitivity around her body and place in the band but bad whenever her mind flitted towards her ex-partners.

She had been wondering if they were trying to reach out to her about everything that had happened or if they had all simply deleted their conversations with her and unfollowed her on social media to be well and truly done with her. Her mind kept creating fake scenarios of them reaching out to her, asking what was wrong, and reassuring her that their lives were richer with her in them.

She couldn’t imagine that was true. They would fight valiantly to try and figure out what the actual reason she had broken up with them was, which is why she had turned her phone off for the duration of the day.

Nina was beginning to doubt her decision to tell Zoya that she would be fine getting back to her apartment on her own. She kind of wished that she had taken her friend up on the offer of them staying together for a while until the post-breakup blues and depressive spiral was over. She couldn’t rely on other people to help her with everything, especially after what they had done to help her on the bus. So she had politely declined and made her own way back to her home.

She stopped in front of her door, opening it with the keys clutched in her hand. She deposited them next to her phone and wallet in the little bowl on top of the bookshelf beside her door. She slid her suitcase through into her little walkway and then closed the door before she dumped her backpack next to it. She was so tired from the tour overall, but it was only aggravated by her not being able to sleep the night before and the emotional turmoil that she had been suffering with the whole day. The nap that she had taken on the bus had only helped a little.

“Food and unpacking,” she mumbled to herself as she grabbed her bag and officially turned around. A gasp ripped itself from her lips as she saw that there was another figure in her home, sitting in the light of the quickly setting sun. It had been close to eight at night when the bus had finally pulled back into the town and it took another hour for them to get everything loaded off of it and into their own vehicles.

The man that was sitting in her chair was a very familiar face, one that her heart had been yearning after the entire day. His hair was mused like he had been running his hands through it all day, the scar on his lip aggravated and red from chewing on it. His clothes consisted of a pair of slim fitting satiny pants and a disheveled looking white button down. His hands were bare on top of the cane that he was clutching like it was going to run away from him.

“Kaz?” she asked, her brows furrowing together with confusion. “What are you-”

She was barely able to get anything else out before another pair of lips were suddenly on top of her own. Her back hit the door that she had just closed, sending her backpack and suitcase tumbling over. Nina heard the clatter of the cane join the cacophony of noise as he brought both of his hands to her hips to keep her in place. She didn’t push him off or tell him that she didn’t want it because then she would be lying to him, and she couldn’t do that again. Instead she began to cry as she kissed him back. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and threaded through his already destroyed hair, holding his body to her own like he would suddenly disappear.

“What… what was that?” she asked when he finally broke away from her to let her breathe.

“What the fuck did you think that you were doing?” Kaz seethed, pain and anger mixing in eyes in a way that made her stomach flip and her heart flutter.

She didn’t know what the proper response to that would have been, especially since her own question hadn’t yet been answered. So she just tried a weak, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I can almost guarantee that you do,” Kaz replied, fire and bitterness seeping into every word that he spoke. He took a step back from her so that she could finally free herself from the wall, but he didn’t remove his eyes from her for a moment. It was like he thought that if he looked away, she would vanish back into the nothingness that she had been before.

Nina shook that thought from her head the second that it crossed into her mind. There was no way that someone could love her that much. “Is this about the text?” she asked, nervously running her fingers along the seam of her pants.

“No, it’s about the fact that Jesper didn’t show up for dinner today, of course it’s about the text!” he shouted. “How did you think that kind of thing was okay to spring on us when none of us were around to talk you out of it?”

She brought her arms around herself so that she was holding in all of the emotion that was threatening to burst forth from her. “I thought that it would be the best way to do it. I know that breaking up over text isn’t something that’s really praised when it comes to judging whether or not an ex has been fair to you but I knew that I couldn’t do it face-to-face.”

Kaz limped past her so that he was sitting on her couch. Silence hung between them for a moment, and she took in her surroundings so that she could look anywhere but at her very upset boyfriend. Her home had pale cream colored walls with a white ceiling, a single black ceiling light hanging from the center. She had a red velvet couch in between two black metal tables, both of which were overflowing with notebooks, lamps, and plants. The entertainment center that held her small collection of DVDs and television matched the coffee table, which had been unintentional but fit the room perfectly. She had a thick black rug underneath it all that she and Wylan had spent almost an hour laying on the first time that they had spent time alone post-relationship. The living room led directly into the kitchen, which was separated from the space with a counter and cabinets.

“Why do you think that was?” Kaz asked when he finally got the energy to speak up again. She could see him charging up the attack like a canon preparing to fire before the words fell from his scarred lips.

“What?” she asked, shifting back and forth to rid herself of the nervous energy building up in her limbs. She had spent too long exerting herself to her limit every night and then cramped in a bus every day to just stand still in front of him.

“Why do you think that it would have been almost impossible to ask us to break up with you if you had been in front of us?” he asked.

She tilted her head down towards the floor and tried her best not to start crying again. “I said it in the message. I love you all so, so much. It would have torn me apart to see your faces when you realized that this isn’t going to work out for you.”

“You don’t get to decide that for us, Nina!” Kaz shouted, springing from the couch. He winced, obviously having bent his bad knee too quickly, and collapsed back onto the furniture. “We’re the ones that get to make the decision about who is in our life and our relationship. We’re all consenting adults that are within a few years of each other, there’s no power imbalance. There’s no coercion or pressure, consent is explicit in everything that we do and no judgment gets passed when someone has to opt out of an activity. We would have let you know if we didn’t want to date you. You don’t get to fucking decide that for us!”

“You don’t understand!” she screamed, throwing her arms out in a wide gesture to accentuate her point. “I’m fucking cursed! Every time that my life has been this could something has come out of goddamn left field to try and ruin all of it. I could already see it happening when I was on tour and I wanted to save you all from it. You have each other to support you through the initial pain of the breakup, but you’ll be fine once that’s all over. Don’t you see why I can’t be around you? I’m going to hurt you like I did this time and one day it’ll be so big that you’ll start to resent me like everyone always does.”

Kaz slowly pushed himself up from the couch and limped over to her. He placed his ungloved hands on either side of her face and then brought his lips forward so that he was kissing her forehead. She had started crying again, all of the water that Zoya had forced her to drink on the bus now streaming down her face in well-traced rivulets.

She collapsed into him, letting out a wail that shook her entire body. Her face was buried into his neck and her arms were still wrapping around herself to try and get a small amount of extra comfort that way. He was holding her like she was going to disappear, just the way she liked it. It made her feel grounded and stable.

Nina cried and cried until there were no more tears left. She was hiccuping slightly as she pulled back and used the end of her sleeves to mop up the tears still on her face. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

He was about to say something when his phone went off in his pocket. Unable to contain her own curiosity, she asked, “Who’s that?”

“Backup,” Kaz replied shortly. He was still upset with her but had already mostly forgiven her.

“What, were you going to trap me until I came back to the relationship?” she asked, trying to tease him like she always did before she had done that catastrophically stupid thing.

“Nina,” he warned, looking towards her. He had pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it on so that he could see who it was that had texted him, but he immediately shoved it back into the pocket of his pants. Kaz’s dark eyes were shining with a kind of fear that he had only see after he woke up from his infrequent nightmares. That struck something deep inside of her and she immediately decided that she was never going to do something like that ever again, not for as long as she lived.

He stepped forward and placed his hands on either side of her face again. “I-I can’t fucking live without you. Any of you. I’ve lost so many people. I can’t lose you too. You hear me? I don’t care if you have some sort of fucking curse, I’ll handle whatever it throws at us. But I cannot lose you,” he spoke with such sincerity that it almost restarted her tears.

Instead, she flung herself around him so that he was buried into the edge of her body. She kissed his neck and then whispered, like it was a secret for just the two of them despite them still being alone in the apartment, “I’m sorry. I promise that I won’t do it again. Never ever.”

“Good,” Kaz replied. He cleared his throat and turned his face away from her so that she couldn’t see the tears glistening on his dark lashes, though she was able to catch a glimpse regardless. He slumped back onto the couch while sticking his bad leg out in front of him so that he didn’t further irritate the nerve sheaths that had been damaged. “I want you to go and put on the locket and ring that you always wear. If you have any clothing from our boys then you’re to put that on as well. They’re going to be coming over as soon as Matthias and Jesper’s show is over.”

“Don’t they have a cast party tonight?” she asked, already moving to do as he had asked. She felt rubbed raw with all of the emotion that she had just had to endure again, after sitting with the turmoil while trapped with her own mind on a bus for hours. She wanted to see the rest of her partners as soon as she could, to apologize to them as she had done to Kaz, but she wasn’t sure how much more crying she could honestly handle.

“Making sure that their girlfriend doesn’t break up with them trumps a cast party that they can attend after every show that they perform in,” Kaz replied, giving her a look that told her she should have been able to guess that.

Nina made herself busy to hide the burning on her freckled cheeks. She opened up her suitcase and got out the items she had so carefully put away early that morning. She secured the necklace right where it belonged, hanging over her collarbone. She then shed her travel shirt and put on Matthias’ shirt and Wylan’s hoodie. The rest of the clothing in the suitcase was thrown haphazardly into the washer so that it could be doing something productive. Kaz let her out of his sight long enough for her to also put away her makeup and the suitcase itself. When she came back, she handed Kaz back his cane and sat down on the ground in front of him.

“I really am sorry, you know,” she whispered.

“I could tell from the crying. I never want to see you that upset again,” he informed her as though he was scolding her. She knew how to see through the Kaz-speak well enough to tell that he was actually telling her how much he hated seeing her when she was in pain.

“Were…” she trailed off, burying her face in the soft velvet of the couch. She put her cheek on it instead, looking up at him while resisting the urge to put her head in his lap. “Were the others also upset?”

“Of course they were, Nina,” he replied. His voice was soft instead of gravely and biting like it normally was when they were having their verbal sparring sessions. She felt special to finally be the one that was receiving his tenderness, usually she was on the outside while watching it be given to Inej and Jesper. He continued, which she had not been expecting, “Jesper immediately started trying to find a way that he could track the bus and find a way to drive out to meet you to prove how much he loved you. Inej got a flight back a day early so that she could be here as soon as she possibly could. Wylan is currently driving back from his conference, he told them that he had a family emergency.”

“But he didn’t!” Nina gasped. Wylan took his job very seriously so the idea that he had lied to his associates about what he was doing absolutely flummoxed her.

“Darling, he did,” Kaz reminded her softly. “One of the only two women in his life that he has ever loved outside of a familiar sense threatened to leave him and break his heart. He had to come back to you.”

She sniffled again, but refused to let herself start crying. Kaz scooted over on the couch so that her head was actually pillowed on his thighs. She relaxed as his bare fingers began to card through her dark chocolate curls, an ever-present reminder of how loved she was. Kaz finally concluded, “I’ve never seen Matthias more broken or upset. He was absolutely devastated that he hadn’t proved to you just how adored you were by both him and us. I felt the same way. I had someone else open the Crow Club tonight just to wait for you.”

“I feel really bad for making you all do that. I thought that this would be the easiest way to protect you, to do it when none of you could come after me,” Nina mumbled as she hid her face away in his lap.

Kaz let the silent hang between them for a moment as he continued to weave his fingers through her curls. “I know. You were technically very clever with how you did it. You let your depression trick you into thinking that you didn’t deserve us or that we wouldn’t want you, and then you decided on a plan that would allow us to supposedly be ‘free’ of you with the least amount of chance of us getting to you to convince you to change your mind. What you didn’t account for was how much we loved you and how desperate we are to keep you near us.”

“Did any of you consider that I actually wanted to breakup?” Nina asked, curiosity getting the better of her. The words slipped through her mouth before she even had a chance to think about why that kind of thing might be hurtful to ask.

“No,” he replied immediately. “You made it very clear in the text that you sent that this was a self-destructive behavior and not something that you actually wanted to be happening. If you had sent any other message then there may have been some doubt in my mind, though.”

“You can read me so well,” she murmured. She grabbed his hand with her own and began to toy with the ends of his fingers.

They both sat in silence for a while until there was a knock on her door. Kaz got up, motioning for her to stay on the couch while he limped towards it. He grabbed his cane from where he had left it on the ground and then answered.

Almost as soon as the door opened, two other members of her polycule had piled in. Kaz had stepped to the side to allow them to, though Nina noticed for a moment that he didn’t actually close to the door or move away from it. Her attention was pulled away from him and to her other boyfriends, Matthias and Jesper immediately crowding her vision.

“Min elskede, vær venlig aldrig at skræmme mig sådan igen. Jeg elsker dig mere end hele verden og kan ikke fatte at skulle være uden dig,” Matthias was speaking so quickly that she was only able to catch a couple of the words that he was saying. Nina had always been naturally gifted when it came to languages, so she had been studying the native tongues of some of her partners so that she could speak with them in a language personal to them specifically. She hadn’t gotten far enough in her Danish lessons to be able to tell what he was saying then.

Her mind was racing to try and figure out what he had said so that she could have some tiny hope at translating it when Jesper dragged her out of it. “Did Kaz talk to you?”

“Yeah,” she whispered with a little nod. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t! Don’t fucking apologize to me,” Jesper shook his head. He knelt down on the ground in front of her and took her hand with his own. Matthias had already fallen to his knees in front of Nina like he was worshiping at an alter. In any other situation she would have found it incredibly erotic, but all she could think about was how guilty she was for causing them pain and how much she absolutely adored them with her entire heart.

He took a shaky breath in through his nose as he wrapped both of his calloused hands around hers. He brought it up to his mouth and pressed a kiss to her palm before he cupped his own cheek with her hand. “I love you, Nina. I truly do. I know that I’m not the best at speaking your love language and sometimes I fuck up and I hurt people, but I love you. Please never make me live without you because you think that I don’t want you.”

“I won’t, never ever again,” she shook her head. She took her hand away from Matthias just long enough to cup his other cheek. She kissed the top of Jesper’s forehead, his coiled black hair tickling the edge of her nose. She then pressed her lips to his for a longer time than was absolutely necessary.

She turned to her other boyfriend then and gave him a watery smile. She was determined not to cry no matter how many feelings she had brewing inside of her, deciding that she had reached her limit for tears. “You’re going to have to repeat what you said if you want me to be able to translate it, baby.”

“I love you,” he said, his English rough and heavily accented with emotion. “Jepser said everything else I had wanted to say. Please do not leave us.”

“I’m not going to, I promise,” she whispered. She kissed him as well.

By the time that she had finished soothing the worries that were brewing inside of her two boys, the door shut. She looked up and around Matthias to see Inej and Wylan standing there. They both looked harried and worn out from the traveling and change of plans that they had to do that day, both also carrying bags from their trips. “I’m sorry,” was the only thing that she could get out of her throat.

“I know,” Inej replied. She stalked over to the other woman, Matthias and Jesper moving away from her so that she had the space she needed. “There was a reason that I sent Kaz to talk you down. Draga mea, you are not cursed. You have had bad things happen to you because bad people were trying to hurt you. Now you have us to protect you from both your own mind and the people trying to hurt you. Never throw away your armor because the knife is shining nicely.”

Nina giggled and then nodded. Inej leaned down and kissed her.

“So you’re going to stay with us? We’re not breaking up anymore?” Wylan asked, his shoulders sagging in relief.

“No, I’m sorry. I got too into my own head and then I guess I just couldn’t keep it inside any longer,” Nina shook her head. She stood up and moved away from the three partners crowding the couch as she wrapped herself around Wylan. He buried himself into her body and clung to her to make sure that she was really there in front of him.

She removed her head from his fluffy brown-red hair to look over all of her partners. They had all gone to such great lengths to make sure that she was still together with them and so that she knew that they loved her. She was never going to hurt them like that again, for as long as she lived.

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80pairsofcrocs · 2 years

Text

baby scarab || 53

@yikesitskennawrites - Rough idea of a chapter thing (my dude, I just woke up from my post dinner nap so excuse me): Khonshu uses his god powers to kind of play puppet with y/n and make them fight the moonboys for funsies. Y/n has zero control in their actions and the boys don't want to hurt her so when Y/n comes back to reality (because they aren't aware of it, kind of like blacking out and coming to) y/n finds the boys beaten up because they didn't want to lay a hand on her.

I love your series :) <3

~~~

anon - For baby scarab in maybe one of the chapters moonboys found out reader can play guitar or an instrument or like the drums and there all super shocked bc when she lived alone she had some free time to try something diff so she's kinda good

~~~

@r4tch1ld - Khonshu and y/n watching two birds fight over scrap and being like,...who's gonna win?

~~~

A/N : pls read the announcement!!

masterlist - marvel masterlist - series masterlist

A/N : THERE IS NO MORE SCHEDULE, IM SORRY also thank you all sm for the support and requests :)))

please enjoy, and don't be shy if you want to be in the taglist, just ask <3, sorry for the long wait

pairings : steven grant x (platonic)reader, marc spector x (platonic) reader, khonshu x (platonic)reader, jake lockley x (platonic)reader

TW : medicine (pills), spidey stuff, mentions of violence, language, fighting, nothing else really, crack, let me know if i missed anything.

~~~

it was two in the morning.

how do you know that? it's because you're wide awake.

your migraine has ceased, and now you were just bored.

you would get up and go do something but steven had an arm around you since you ended up falling asleep with him.

and tiktok could only do so much before you got too bored of it.

"spiderling! get up" you hear khonshu whisper shout from the now open window.

"why?" you whisper back, looking back to steven to make sure he was still asleep.

"your friends are quarreling" he leaves back to what you assumed was the roof.

you roll your eyes and look to steven, who was still sound asleep.

you decide you follow khonshu, so you carefully move stevens arm from around you, replacing yourself with a pillow.

you slip out of the bed and watch as steven cuddled a bit deeper into the pillow, making you smile.

making your way to the open window, you start hearing crows cawing at each other.

that makes you smile even wider.

you peek out the window and shoot a web up the brick wall outside, slipping out of the window and pulling yourself up to the edge of the short wall.

you pull yourself over the roofs edge, seeing khonshu perched on one of the huge vents and looking down at something that you can't see yet.

you curiously and quietly approach to see that khonshu was looking down at two crows.

and they were fighting over what looked like half a slice of pizza.

you chuckled, alerting khonshu of your presence. he jumped when he realized you were there.

"still a damn shadow" he mumbles and moves over so that you could crawl up to sit next to him on the vent.

"yeah, love you too buddy" you deadpan, watching the crows fight over the food.

it only takes another three seconds for you to talk again. "who do you thinks gonna win?" you ask khonshu and he tilts his head and hums.

"the one on the right" he decides, and you nod.

"yeah i had my bets on him too. his names charlie" you start. "the other one is elden" you add, and khonshu nods.

the two of you sit in silence, watching the crows until khonshu is the one to break the silence.

"i have a question" he states and you look to him to urge him to continue.

"it was many moons ago but.. i saw something when you and your parents were flailing about in the water" he begins to explain, and you make a face at the wording.

"yeah? what was it?" you ask, getting the idea of what he was trying to say.

he was referring to when you and your parents went to the beach.

"it's about you" he continues as you furrow your brows. "i noticed.. scars. on your back. i'm surprised none of the idiots said anything with how attached they are to you" he finishes and you take a breath.

"..how many did you see?" you question hesitantly.

"four"

"shit" you mutter. "did you tell them?" khonshu doesn't move or answer you verbally, but just by the way he was staring at you gave you your answer.

"khonshu i know you want to help but i really didn't want them to know about those" you start and he looks back down at the birds.

"i didn't want to explain how i got them yet" you ended quietly.

"then i apologize, child" he says a bit quieter, and you can tell by the tone of his voice that he meant it.

you just sigh tiredly and run a hand down your face. "it's fine" you mumble and you both go back to watching the crows.

"i'll tell you who wins in the morning. you should go back to bed" khonshu says to you quietly and you look at him in surprise.

"since when do you care if i get sleep?" you question is all seriousness.

"in my defense, you are cranky when you're tired" he says simply and you nod.

"fair enough. i'll see you tomorrow. night" you hop off the vent and make your way to the edge of the roof, ready to jump back in through the window.

"sleep well, little spector" is the last thing he says before you disappear back into the apartment.

you close the window after you get back inside, to see that steven was awake, and patiently waiting for you.

"i'm sorry, khonshu wanted to show me something" you apologize and steven gives you a tight lipped smile.

"that's alright, just try to get back to sleep" he says in a hushed voice and you nod, laying back down to have steven bring the blankets up to your chin, pressing a light kiss to your head before laying back down himself.

now that's what you would call an under reaction.

if this was marc, he would've lightly scolded you then order you to get back to bed, and steven would've given you some kind of lecture.

but this time he didn't, and you had no clue as to why.

do you just went back to sleep, half expecting to get a lecture in the morning.

~~~

"you need your sleep, kid it's non negotiable" marc shakes his head at your pouting figure.

instead of steven, it was marc. which is so much worse since he doesn't sugarcoat anything.

"well my crows were fighting. and khonshu even said that charlie won" you argue and marc raises an eyebrow at you.

"y/n i'm not joking around" marc says sternly and you look down at your lap, fidgeting with your fingers.

"you need to get at least 8 hours-"

"8 hours? marc-"

"don't interrupt me. you think we don't notice every time you leave, but we do. and we always trust you to come back but you need a better sleep schedule now that schools starting soon" he explains and your eyes widen at the last part.

"school? it's already the end of august?" you ask and marc nods.

"shit" you mumble, which earns you a stern look from marc.

"as i was saying" he begins again. "that also means no more arachnid" you scoff.

"that's not fair" you whine and he just shakes his head.

"i know but you have to finish high school, this is your senior year it's the most important" he reasons and your eyes drift to the open window across from where you were both sitting at the kitchen table.

"don't even think about it" you hear jake warn and you sigh, looking away from it.

"oh please, just let the girl be" khonshu makes himself known.

"no, idiot. this is to make sure she has a shot at a normal life" marc defends himself.

"no. she's going to be bored now" khonshu argues back and looks towards you with determination.

"and if you can't see that this is what she really wants to do then i'll do it for her" he stalks over to you, making you get up from your seat in alarm, marc coming towards the both of you as well.

"khonshu wait-" you hold our your arm towards him to stop his movements.

he just sighs. "i apologize little spector, you won't feel a single thing" he rushes in saying, moving to poke you in the center of the chest with the tip of the crescent on his stick.

nothing seemed to happen after that.

or so you thought.

~~~

third pov

~~~

y/n raises an eyebrow at khonshu, as nothing happened when he poked her with his stick.

marc let out a breath of relief until y/n froze in place, her eyes glowing a bright white for a second before her suit formed onto her.

marc panicked, causing jake to front out of habit.

"khonshu what in the absolute fuck is wrong with you?!" steven exclaims from where he was watching in the mirror hanging next to jake.

khonshu only answered by making y/ns head tilt to the left, right before making her shoot a web out at jake, sticking his arm to the wall.

y/n was in a dream like state, not able to control her own body.

and another thing, she wouldn't be able to remember anything that happened while khonshu played puppet with her.

jake easily ripped his arm from the wall the moment y/n started towards him.

jake wasn't stupid, he knew what khonshu was doing.

now, the bird was planning on fighting them. but only in the way that y/n would.

he dug through her brain to see what kind of fighting moves she used, so all he was really doing was using her body for things she has already done.

khonshu in all honesty wanted to help. he was always stuck up and quite frankly a cranky bitch, but seeing as marc was being unfair he had to do something.

and he knew that not a single one of his avatars and would ever lay a hand on y/n.

even if she was attacking him.

and he keeps being proved right.

she was swinging at jake every moment she could, while he just blocked her fists and tried to lead her away from anything that could possibly hurt her.

but the kick to the shin followed by a punch to the nose made them all finally surrender.

jake had a hand up to block y/n from going any further to which khonshu gave up his short control on the girl.

~~~

second pov

~~~

you blink a few times in confusion, trying to remember when you walked across the room and asked khonshu for your suit.

and that's when you noticed the man in front of you, with a now bleeding nose with a hand out towards you in defense.

you gasp at the sight, your hood and mask disappearing from your face as your eyes widen at the scene.

jake put his hand down, noticing how it seemed like you were back.

"oh my god- what just happened?!" you cover your mouth with both of your hands after seeing the blood drip from jakes nose and onto his shirt.

you rush to the kitchen to get a small towel and running it under water before going back to jake who was now just sitting on the floor.

he didn't know how to explain what had just happened, so he simply stayed quiet while you sat down on the floor as well, adjusting yourself so that you were sitting comfortably on his lap.

after getting all the blood cleaned up, you were just holding the towel to his nose to stop the bleeding.

"i just blacked out and now i'm in my suit, can one of you explain?" you ask into the air and jake sighs, bringing a hand up to brush a strand of hair from your face.

"to put it simple, that bonehead possessed you and you may have broken my nose" he shrugs and tears gather in your eyes.

"i did that..?" you trail off and jakes eyes widen before moving to comfort you.

he needed to stop you from crying, basically.

one time you were upset about god knows what, and jake happened to be the one fronting.

you cried into his chest for like an hour while he just stood there not knowing what to do exactly.

that was more stevens thing. comforting you, that is.

jake tried his best, he's still learning how to 'parent' and all that.

"princesa, it's not your fault. it's khonshus, and i can barely feel it" he shrugs and you see his eyes wander all over your face until furrowing his brows at something.

"and it appears that your nose is still broken too" he points out.

shit.

"what? no it's not" you wave him off.

you completely forgot you broke your nose when your dads almost died.

that night that you murdered that man in cold blood.

shaking your head, you get rid of the memory and keep the towel pressed against jakes nose.

"what did i do?" you try to change the subject, and jake just guides your hand down, taking the towel off his face.

"nothing, just let me fix your nose, hm?" he offers and you frantically shake your head.

"it's fine- i really don't-" jake holds your face still and puts a hand up in surrender.

"listen, i'd rather hurl myself off a building than hurt a single pelo en tu bonita cabeza" he assures you and you just sigh.

"is it gonna hurt though?" you ask and he simply doesn't answer, moving both of his hands to clasp them together over your nose, making sure you weren't going to move to much.

"you ready?" jake asks and you just squeeze your eyes shut, giving him his answer.

"alright, i'll do it on the count of tres" he starts and you tense up.

"uno" he squeezes your nose a bit tighter.

"dos" and then there's a sting and a sickening 'crack' before jake takes his hands away from you.

your eyes watered as you gaped at jake who had an unapologetic look on his face.

"you said on three! you ass!" you exclaim, getting off of him while he just chuckles, staying on the floor until steven decides to take over to get up himself and follow after you.

you were in the bathroom, poking at your now non crooked nose, and seeing steven walk in behind you.

"tell jake he's a bitch" you wipe your watery eyes, as you see jake shake his head in the mirror.

"jake can hear you" he says and you chuckle.

"here, how about we forget about all this and go to town, how's that sound?" steven offers and you nod.

"sounds great, just give me five minutes" you nod to yourself.

~~~

you and steven left the building ten minutes later, due to marc taking over the body and having to fix their own nose before going out.

they couldn't believe they forgot to bring up the fact you'd broken your nose days before.

and now, you and steven were walking contently down the sidewalk, just browsing at all the items in the windows.

and it was one that caught your eye, a f/c guitar sitting brand new in the window.

steven noticed how you halted in your steps for a moment, so he guided you inside without a word.

"steven wait-" you started before seeing all the different instruments inside the shop.

steven simply smiled and followed you as you wandered towards where the guitars were.

you were lost in your own little world as you just stared ahead, running your fingers along the base of one of the guitars that are set up for anyone to use.

"you play?" steven asks when you turn back to him and you nod with a smile.

"i had a lot of free time" you shrug and he nods.

"can we see?" steven questions and you make a face.

"i don't know.." you trial off and you hear both marc and jake start complaining.

"oh come on, we didn't even know you played" marc starts.

"si, why didn't you tell us?"

"because it's embarrassing" you mutter and steven just shakes his head.

"no it's not, is anything it's impressive" he assures you and you just sigh.

he darts his eyes from the guitar to you, so you roll your eyes picking it up and sitting down on the empty chair next to it.

there was a small container or guitar pics on the table next to the guitar stand, so you just waited a second as steven moved a chair over next to you.

you were only doing this because there was literally nobody else in the shop, only the cashier who was listening to music with airpods.

steven had a small smile on his face, watching as you adjusted the guitar so that your arm was resting comfortably, so that you could play whenever you wanted to.

you just decided to play the beginning of 'sweet child o' mine', just in a more quiet and mellow way.

steven watched in amazement as you expertly moved your fingers, holding down the correct strings at the right times, marc and jake staying quiet as to not distract you.

you finished it up after a second and put the guitar back on the stand, and the pic back in the container like you never even picked it up in the first place.

"oh sweetheart, that was amazing" steven helps you up, giving you a quick side hug and a smile.

"thank you" you murmur.

"no really, we had no idea" marc breaths out.

"well, now you do" you shrug and keep looking around with steven.

"is there anything else you're hiding from us?" marc asks dramatically, referring to the instruments in the shop.

you just give steven a look, knowing marc could see it.

"maybe" is all you say before moving on to walk forward again.

the day started rocky and ended the opposite.

marc and you decided you can only be arachnid if you aren't failing any of your classes once school starts, and if you promised to be careful.

oh, and also only on weekends.

being arachnid meant you had to get at least 7 hours of sleep each night, no exceptions or excuses.

you agreed of course, especially because khonshu took over your body and broke jakes nose with it.

he was fighting for you, i guess so it works.

you also had a great time showing your dads that you could in fact play multiple instruments, and they were all very impressed since they had no idea you had even touched one before.

now, you four were all in your little world the whole day.

that means none of you noticed someone following you on the sidewalk and watching you from outside the shop.

that meant you didn't know they also followed you home, and had an entire notebook where they had written every single time you left the apartment.

nobody noticed that they've been watching for a while, not even khonshu.

nobody knew when they were going to strike.

and not even your spidey sense could warn you for what's about to come.

~~~

A/N : omfg im so so sorry it took so long and ITS STILL SHORT

anyways, i hope you liked it and ill see you hopefully in a few days :)) ily all sm

~~~

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