#and she said her husband was so shocked because hes conservative

[nerime]

my coworkers are being turbo transphobic and literally refuse to listen to answers to questions they fucking ask argh!!! I can just tell you!!! I can just answer you!!!!! I have answers!!! to the ridiculous questions you ask in a mocking way!!!! if you listen for one second I can just fucking explain!!!! 😡😭😡😭

[mariacallous]

Hungary’s public prosecutor is in the spotlight after former Fidesz apparatchik-turned-critic Peter Magyar on Tuesday handed over a recording that appears to show his ex-wife, the former justice minister Judit Varga, discussing how high-ranking members of Viktor Orban’s government tampered with evidence in a major corruption case.

Evidence and suspicions of corruption surrounding the Fidesz government are not unusual during its almost 15 years in power, but whistleblowers from the inner circle of the ruling party like Magyar, who previously held positions in state-owned companies and comes from a notable conservative family, are rare.

Over the past two months, Magyar has emerged as a major critic of the government, especially of Orban’s éminence grise Antal Rogan, following the resignations of his ex-wife and the then-president Katalin Novak over their involvement in pardoning a man accused of covering up abuse at a children’s home in Budapest.

Since then, Magyar gave an interview to YouTube channel Partizan in mid-February in which he said “we must act if we do not want this country to become the holding company of a few families”, and then organised a rally of 80,000 people on March 15, Hungary’s national holiday, that far exceeded the crowd that the prime minister managed to gather for his speech. He also intends to launch a new party to challenge Fidesz and the opposition.

The latest evidence of corruption that Magyar posted on Facebook and also shared with prosecutors comes from a secretly recorded conversation at home with his then-wife Judit Varga in January 2023, who was justice minister at the time.

During the two-minute recording, a woman sounding like Varga reveals that members of the government had removed certain details from documents relating to a notorious corruption investigation into accusations that the former head of the Court Bailiffs organisation, Gyorgy Schadl, and the state secretary at the Justice Ministry, Pal Volner, took millions of forints in bribes over many years. Schadl was caught at Budapest airport in November 2021 in the act of trying to flee with his wife and a bag stuffed full of cash.

The two men, who deny the charges, are due to stand trial and face years of imprisonment if found guilty.

Varga, who as minister was Volner’s boss at the time, says on the tape that the state secretary had been warned previously but was unwilling to stop his alleged criminal activities. She says that members of the government had suggested to prosecutors that certain details be removed from the documents, but that they had not done so completely.

Varga admits on the tape that the corruption case only came to light because the country’s chief prosecutor, Peter Polt, an ally of Prime Minister Orban, “was not in [full] control” of his office, which showed that the national prosecutor’s office still had a measure of independence.

Pro-government media have dismissed the tape as “nothing new”, while Varga responded on Facebook accusing her husband of domestic violence and intimidation. “I am shocked. He has been blackmailing me with this tape for a year. He made a secret tape in our house and now he is using it for political purposes… I was being terrorised and I said what he wanted,” she explained.

Orban has previously dismissed Magyar’s actions as a soap opera, which is consistent with his usual strategy to ignore embarrassing news in the hope that people will lose interest. The government’s narrative is to portray Magyar as a vengeful ex-husband who mistreated his wife in order to discredit him.

The latest revelations come during a week when the government is also having to deal with the fallout from revelations that former Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro took refuge in the Hungarian embassy in Brasilia in February as he was being investigated for plotting a coup against the elected president, Lula da Silva.

The New York Times reported that Bolsonaro spent two days at the embassy after several of his aides had been arrested and his homes were raided.

Orban, a close ally of Bolsonaro, once called the former Brazilian president an “honest patriot” and told him to “keep fighting”.

The Hungarian ambassador was summoned to Brazil’s Foreign Ministry on Monday, but reportedly remained silent during the 20-minute meeting.

[portraitofadumbassonfire]

Rambling about how much the Succession series finale fucked me up.

Kendall realizing that the people who once supported him (Rava, Jess, and his kids) truly are gone, except his one true friend whom has already admitted that he can't trust him and that he'll "follow the money" told me how this whole shown will end early on. He got all of the weapons he needed for battle, just to stab himself in the foot.

Ep 9 he said he hoped part of his father was in him.

He got his wish.

He tried to get a vote of no confidence against his father in 1x06, yet it backfired, and it made sense why it did due to how poorly he handled it.

The finale was no different.

He also resembles Logan in the worst way by resorting to physically abusing Roman in private and public, and how he intimidated him during the voting. Now both of his siblings rightfully separated themselves from him.

Shiv's arc is the most tragic to me due to the fact that in S1 she wanted nothing to do with Waystar and worked with Gil against Logan, just to be ridiculed by him and called a coward for not competing.

In S2, Gil drops her and then she moves back into her father's "good" graces and fights to be CEO.

Logan promised that it's her, yet still sidelined her at any opportunity to the point where she embarrassed herself in front of the Pierce family.

It's funny how so many lines that I originally saw as petty insults like "Kendall is screwy, Shiv's not as smart as she thinks she is, Roman you're a moron" were accurate descriptions of the characters. Shiv swore she thought she would overturn her father, the man who runs a conservative media conglomerate, would appoint her as the CEO, as if these old ass yt men would take her seriously under any circumstances. She even had an odd dynamic with her own husband where she was the one with affairs and threw him under the bus at any time it was possible for her to.

In the end, she ended up exactly where she didn't want to be, the same position as her mother, a woman stuck in a hapless marriage with a child and a man whom she has a fraught relationship with. She had so much ambition, just for it to backfire horribly.

"A fucking waste of time" as Peter said.

To be fair, they did nothing but argue in front of them, cut family dinner short, or eat his prized cheese, so I get the annoyance. But you were part of why they are at odds against each other.

So boo hoo.

If any of the sibling resemble each other than being blood related, it's Shiv and Kendall. Both of them wanted to be the CEO of Waystar for their own personal reasons.

Kendall's reasons were very specific.

As he said, he was promised the role since he was seven years old. It's obvious that idea has followed him for years and years till he became an adult, like we all do, and it became bigger. It's how the show is started. He's ALWAYS wanted to succeed his own father.

He fought so hard to succeed his father since the first season and never stopped, he did have some pause during S3, but in that finale after confessing to his crime to Shiv and Roman and them comforting him In a way that hasn't been seen in the series almost ever was a huge change to their relationship as a whole, to see him lie about him speaking his truth just because he was scared that they'd rightfully use that information against him was hard to watch.

All of that fighting to overturn Logan, he became him in the process, using his intimidation against Roman to make him make a decision. I wouldn't be shocked if Shiv noticed that and decided to vote against Ken.

Speaking of Romulus, he's ironically the one sibling that escaped the waystar circle, but he was more kicked out of it.

After Gerri being the only person on his side, then dropping him after he impulsively fired her and had the nerve to act as of he didn't, after Mencken the neo nazi saw how he acted at the funeral (as a person who lost a loved one) and dropped him like a bad habit, and he burned bridges with Mattson, it's clear to say he doesn't have anyone else on his side.

He's not like Shiv or Kendall where they have intentions to be CEO, are the opposite sides of one coin, and the obvious fact that he ultimately doesn't care about almost anything.

He got out of the loop more than Kendall or Shiv did and yet he's still lonely, or at least that's what I interpret from that smile to a frown in his last scene.

After dealing with the physical harm from the protests, he ran back to his mother. (and let's be real, he's Caroline's favorite child). Shiv and Kendall would fight over who would be CEO, but he never cared that much.

For Roman to be the sibling that escapes Waystar, I truly didn't see that coming, but should have. Why would he subject himself to that kind of torture after he endured it for his entire childhood?

And this is the Roy sibling that I find the most annoying, but I will admit, he was fully aware of the bullshit his family was on 24/7.

So his ending makes sense, he smirks, but then frowns about the people waystar, employed or not, whom had his back and he screwed up the relationship with, but that whole place felt like a cage to him, so what loss is there anyways?

Connor, Connor, Connor. The eldest son, ready for what a long distance relationship with his own newlywed wife. He and Shiv and a similarity to their father when it comes to romantic relationships. His father dies and he gets married, Shiv suggests an open marriage to Tom on their wedding night. BANG!

Logan was with Sue-Ann when he was married to Caroline and with Kerry when he was married to Marcia. Oh how history repeats itself. Connor is the eldest son and only escapes half of the abuse just because he's the most neglected.

Connor and Roman have a similarity due to how uninterested they are in the battle to be the next CEO, Roman saw it as a cage and Connor saw it as a competition to see who could be loved by their broken father. (which at this point he knew was pointless)

It's sad to see Connor and Willa soon to be separated because, Out of all four siblings, Connor has Willa, one can say he bought a person, but she has had many opportunities to leave, but still stayed and had his best interest in mind, even reminding him to stay true to his original ambition. Can anyone else related to him say that?

Personally, I don't think so.

This finale felt right in the most tragic way for me because, the series had shown so many signs of how it would all end from S1-3

Kendall losing the vote of no confidence, Shiv being shanked by Tom, Roman losing his personal support, Connor being outcasted, etc.

Tom has been aware of how Shiv treated him for a while, there was no way he wouldn't get his lick back in the end, especially knowing the environment he's in. Yes as effeminate as he can be, he'll use what he can to get what he wants, just like the Roys do.

He used Greg as his own Shiv stand-in because he knew he couldn't overstep his boundaries with her while Logan was alive, when he died he did feel so much empathy for not only Shiv, but her brothers as well because he is still human and finding out your parent died in an airplane bathroom and you have a few seconds to say goodbye is a lot for a person.

Nonetheless, Tom and everyone persisted in their pursuit for power, meanwhile Connor took ownership of his father's residence, because I'm sure Marcia would love to let go of a home she shared with an unfaithful husband.

With the eldest son's rules of claiming what they want in a full mansion and then being pulled together by the old footage of their father, it's easy to still think they'll have some solidarity even after anointing Kendall as the best choice..

Choosing items with a simple sticker was a warning. Tom choosing Greg as his second is a win, but a loss. Mattson can just easily choose another U.S. CEO if he feels lole getting rid of Tom, but he is the current decision.

Tom 'the people pleaser' Wambsgans being CEO is a shock, but not as much as a shock for me as opposed to most of which saw this finale.

Logan called out his own children, them playing toy soldiers, being unserious people, and full-fledged morons.

He was unfortunately correct.

For Kendall to try so hard to be Logan 2.0, to the point where he lied to them, where Shiv said she can't stomach him, where he resorted to ignoring Connor and barely taking Ewan seriously when he was one of the only ones being honest with them,

Connor inheriting the delusion that Logan had with how he honestly believed his life will go on to be, Roman with his "I win" mentality his father has, or Kendall & Shiv having the cutthroat, "I'll demolish anyone who might oppose me" sense that their father had for years.

But the tragedy is that none of his children truly present that state of mind.

It's not surprise that the biggest people pleaser of all characters, Tom, would be the one to impress Mattson.

Tom has been a pick-me since episode one, but he showed how much he will and has worked in his own favor.

Greg was someone I thought would overthrow and fire Tom, but Tom being the one who was chosen as CEO feels so unexpected, but appropriate. He managed to reverse the dynamic of his relationship with Shiv, but maintain it with Greg, even though both relationships involve emotional manipulation, they still come back to each other, unfortunately.

Shiv and Tom have said some truly horrific things toward each other for a married couple under a few months and yet they never left each other officially, Greg has tried to throw Tom under the bus as well since he is a blood relative meanwhile Tom projected his own personal issues with Shiv onto her own cousin, whom she stole $20 from, and yet, Tom refuses to leave Greg alone.

Tom now being able to control Greg & overpower Shiv at this moment is shocking, yet hauntingly expected.

It haunts me how when shiv and Roman chose Kendall as the leader, they just casually mocked his way of speaking, when in reality, he used the same disturbing methods as their deceased father, Tom still having Gerri, but especially having Greg's back in the end. Shiv noticed how her brother was turning into Logan and his much her own husband outsmarted her in the end, Roman just ordered the same drink Gerri did just to feel some sort of accomplishment, and Kendall came to the conclusion that no one else was completely in his corner.

Shiv as CEO was never gonna happen, Roman was too silly to take seriously,  Roman had a whole speech prepared for his father's funeral and couldn't deliver it, Kendall spoke his and now in retrospect, it feels more like wishful thinking, Connor never got to say his own eulogy, and Shiv delivered one that was poignant, yet still unchanging to the environment around her.

Anyone who tells me or might tell me this series finale made no sense should keep it to themselves, because the writing was on the wall.

[papirouge]

Make no mistake Candace will embrace zionism again if Palestine falls and Palestinians are forgotten. She is by nature simply a contrarian - she will ALWAYS take the other side regardless of what that side is. If Tate suddenly becomes mainstream and accepted, she will inevitably speak out against him. If feminism goes underground, she will be a feminist. Her grift is to be loud and go against the popular for views and attention. Her husband from what I’ve seen is pretty submissive (very funny how ALL of the married “trad” girls I know of that pander to the right and claim they only love aggressive masculine and traditionally dominant men never marry them, they always find the quiet submissive men that are house husbands that don’t really work) so nothing he will say will matter to her either. Her running back or trying to run back to black spaces is because she doesn’t want to be attacked now for being a black woman now that she’s vulnerable. Yet she still wants to bring white peoples feelings in those spaces too so she can stay on racist white people’s good graces because that’s her nature - to always to be the opposite. Black spaces are for black feelings, she knows this yet she will do the opposite anyway. All for attention. Just a pathetic person

She reminds me of an old friend I had. My friends and I started a gaming group for just ourselves, just black girls gaming and having fun without any worries. It was so much fun except when my ex friend tried to invite and get her white male friend involved. We told her no, this space was for black women only. She called us racist and sexist while her white friend just moved on He never cared about joining since he wasn’t even a gamer, it was all her idea. We had to block her and move on too 💀

Wait a minute- are you talking about the black gamer girl discord group drama ? Are you aware this drama came over tiktok?? 👀 Why am i only half surprised that a fellow black girl shoved this white dude there though ? 💀 Not that white men trying to invade black (female) space is unprecedented, but as I always said, Black women are EXTREMELY male identified (probably more than any other race) so I'm not shocked this black woman did the most for her White male friend.. TRAGIC.

YOU ARE SO SPOT ON FOR CANDACE 🎯

It's so confusing to see her talk about her husband and how she chose him because he was her match intellectually speaking when he doesn't strike as such 💀 He's definitely not stupid, but I feel like there's a major dissonance between how she "sells" him, and reality. Their dynamic is very loopsided : he only talks about her, while she's -very publicly- taking all the attention. Sorry but there's nothing less submissive or traditional in this marriage dynamic. Even the way her own camp talks about her doesn't reflect any idea of feminity - they talk about her like an attack dog. A smart, eloquent one, but still a dog. When Shapiro and his Daily Wire clique turned against then dumped her, nobody felt sorry for her. Even those who defended her knew she was the Strong Black Woman™️ and would ultimately get back on her feet. Candace herself is so energyetically masculine she didn't remotely think about leveraging her femininity to grasp some sympathy (emotions) by saying how she felt betrayed or left out. Nope. Like a soldier, she got back on her feet and started campaigning to fund her next venture.... If anything, Candace is the posterchild of feminism. Nothing about her screams traditional or feminine.

And it makes sense bc Candace is so bigger than life that she would hardly be able to find someone to match her level - especially among conservative men who absolutely don't come off as the intellectual type.... To reach that goal, she would've had more chance with Asian men since she said before her boyfriend all her earlier boyfriends were Asians (Korean and Japanese) lol

And yeah, that's exactly it : she's a contrarian. That's why her opinions have no consistency whatsoever. Like, you can't blame feminism and try to reinforce traditional gender roles onto society......while defending a lover boy/pimp/porn producer/fornicator aka Andrew Tate.

That's why contrarian are so politically stupid btw. They're often lumped with the right, but rightoids at least have a set of value tenants that won't change depending on whether they're popular or not. But contrarians? They'll hate things to the point of cognitive dissonance. We witnessed it A LOT these last few years. For example, tpeople who were against the c0vid shot and (rightfully) called out the msm propaganda and lies to push it, often used the fact of being against the "popular opinion" (=getting the vaccine) as a proof they were right. Well it was pretty shocking to see a lot of them turned out to be big supporters of Israel/Zionism, and sided with the very same msm they bitched against non stop a few years before. Their primitive contrarian mindset made them believe that because they were against Palestine (= the popular opinion) they were right once again..... And they have the same pattern with Musk, Trump, Take and every problematic/controversial figure they think unabashedly supporting means they're doing right against the MatRix - or whatever it is.

And this issue isn't only with right leaning people : it was extremely disappointing and disgraceful to see people support the TikTok ban in some wack intellectual superiority move, and (indirectly) campaign for the same US government they were shitting on FOR MONTHS over what it's been doing in Palestine. Mind you, they are the same crowd saying shit like "yOu aRe nOt iMmuNe tO prOpagAndA uwu" when anyone with a IQ higher than room temperature would grasp that this ban was a way to CONTROL TikTok which is the least biased media platform when it comes to social commentary or news coverage (especially with what's going on Palestine right now). But nooooo, those idiots refuse to look at the bigger picture and want it shut down because of a handful of dumb tradwives and pro ana mentally ill girls. PLEASE.

I've said it and I'll say it again : nothing you see on TikTok is unique to TikTok or happens because of TikTok. I'm a millennial, I'm old enough to remember that social contagion/reproduction the most destructive trends always happened since the drawn of the internet. In 2002 it was on message board, forum, etc...in 2024 it happens on social media - not only TikTok. If anything, those big SNS corporation centralizing the lot of internet communication help having a better outlook on social trends. Instead of having to patrol gazillions of obscure group chat with no mail adresssed required to post shit, the special services only have to lurk on social media 🤷🏾‍♀️

Oh and one last thing: 99% of the shit ppl complain about TikTok I never see it on my dash. TikTok algorithm is INSANE and manages to spoon fed you what you like 9 times out of 10. So there's 2 possibilities : either 1) they're the problem and should stop entertaining content that harms their peace 2) they're lying and just rehash the stuff other people say without checking by themselves if that content is *that* pervasive on that app.

[vitos-ordination-song]

I never realized how gender oppressed I was raised bc sexism was so normalized I didn’t notice it, I believed in my mom’s right wing “girl power” rhetoric, and my brothers were actually treated worse than I was bc they were male. I now understand that that last point was also a part of the larger gender assumptions of my parents/my father’s childhood trauma, it fits in just fine with misogyny and it is sexist. “Benevolent sexism” is when women are assumed to need special treatment when men aren’t. In my family this played out through my dad not beating me or my sister (my mom handled our punishments) and the boys having to do hard manual labor and sadistic endurance challenges.

A lot of the misogyny I dealt with I just took as fact I think. Like, from the time I was 2 years old, I had already been convinced my older brother was smarter than me and always would be. It was in like 2018 when my dad just said that to my face—“you’re smart, but of course Zach is smarter”—and I was like “are you fucking serious? Of course he’s not smarter than me.” It was this built in hierarchy, and my compensation was getting to feel smarter than my adopted sister and brother (my family is extremely sick, that’s a whole other issue but I can’t get too off topic). Anyway I believed my older brother was inherently smarter than me, because he was male and I was female, for most of my childhood; I let his judgment rule me until I reached the age of 16 or so.

Even though I eventually rejected the way I was belittled, it’s still true that it shaped my life. I grew up constantly being told my brother was a genius, but as we entered adulthood, I realized I didn’t respect him as a person which set me free. But when I was just tiny, under three years old, I was constantly told how good he was at math and directions. “He’s already got Atlanta memorized and he’s only four!” He was so impressive, and I was flat out told I would never be good at math or directions because I was a girl and women don’t have “calculating minds” or something. How much did that limit me? Is that why it took me until age 22 to start trying to figure out where the fuck anything was in relation to me?

My mom had a couple talks with me growing up where she imparted some sort of girl power values on to me. She also is quite a dominant woman and was the true power in my parents’ marriage. Because of my naivety, it took me a long time to realize just how backwards she is on gender issues. I mean, there’s her conservative Christian values, but I always thought she had respect for women’s abilities. She was my role model as a little girl, competent and strong. So imagine my shock on becoming a teenager and actually listening to the shit that would come out of her mouth. Not just pushing anti-feminist garbage and rape culture, but acting like women are men’s natural inferiors.

Years ago we were listening to one of the family’s favorite bands, a husband and wife duo. A song came on and she went “this one isn’t very good, must have been written by the wife.” I sat there speechless and then went “what??” She replied “well women just aren’t as good at writing music, their minds aren’t equipped for it.” (She was wrong btw because both the husband and wife are credited on almost all their songs.)

When she came and visited recently, she spewed a lot of crazy right wing stuff, but the one that got under my skin the most was when she started ranting about how women’s economic freedom is a bad thing because it made labor less valuable. She also implied that it’s women’s duty to raise children at home. Mom. Please. First of all, the reason your childhood was marked by terrorism and horrific abuse is that your mother was financially dependent on your father. You told me that yourself when I was a little girl. Your father beat your mother, your siblings and you. He inflicted psychological torment on everyone around him, and he was a child rapist. Your mother was stuck under his thumb because she had no money. How can you believe all these lies about perfect god fearing American families when that was your childhood and your father was a preacher?

And she HATED being a stay-at-home mom. She pretends otherwise now but she used to fantasize openly about abandoning us, she complained that I ruined her body, she talked about how much more fun she had before she had kids, and how much she missed her career. Please tell me more about how a woman’s place is at home and not in the workforce.

[ellaintrigue]

A Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar...

A few years ago my conservative Christian boss was leaning her 400 pound frame against the counter while me and Brian, my gay coworker did all the work as usual. Brian was married to a man but didn't talk about it with customers or anything. You never know how people will react around here. Our regular Muslim customer strode in and started yapping as usual. I had no problem with him, I just don't like religion. This guy randomly stated to my coworker that he needed to a find a good woman so he would smile more or something else along those lines. My boss smirked and said, "but he likes boys."

The Muslim absolutely loses it. He points at my coworker and starts screaming, "YOU ARE GOING TO HELL! YOU ARE GOING TO HELL! YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!" over and over. Brian and I were shocked and my boss was laughing her ass off. I was worried we would get physically attacked. Christians and Muslims are often enemies yet they share the same views. It's ironic, really.

Bigotry in religion is a promise. Humans turn to religion for comfort and something to look up to but too many of them get a form of power from it: putting down others to feel good about themselves. But what I am rather confused on is reproduction. We all know that Muslims and Christians hate anyone who supports abortion, but what about the blurred lines on birth? The Muslim customer's daughter was 27 years old and had 7 children. She had babies with every man she dated. She had just given birth 3 months ago when she was hired at my job. While we worked together she met a new man and was pregnant by him within weeks of dating. WITH TRIPLETS! Because that is how she was raised. She was taught that the purpose of a woman was to give birth and her religion was against birth control. She ended up miscarrying one fetus and having a ruptured gallbladder.

She was a very beautiful young woman and clearly intelligent, just brainwashed. But I was baffled by her having never been married. A former coworker, a conservative Christian, had kid after kid with her ex husbands because she too was taught that her worth was based on having children. She neglected her kids, and my Muslim coworker would just leave her children with other people all the time. She offered to share her $900 foodstamp balance with me since she wasn't supporting her kids that week.

So I get mixed signals on whether you should be married or not but in religion you must give birth no matter what, that is a fact. I have had religious men call me a monster for not wanting kids and call me worthless if I say I can't have kids and leave the first part out. My mom's friend Anna became pregnant with a deformed fetus and early on her doctors told her to abort because the child would not live and only suffer in the short time it was alive. She refused because she was Catholic and carried it to term. It was a barely formed blob and suffered greatly before it died within hours of birth.

Another Muslim I spoke to said he would not let his wife see a gynecologist for her severe female issues because only "whores" get examined by doctors. I do like to tease these folks a bit, normally I rave how much I love to eat pork, but I added going to the doctor to the list. If I want to offend them I say that I get routine pap smears. GASP! The horror!

For whatever vague reason, women of radical religions must give birth at all costs: the cost of their mental and physical wellbeing, and the cost of the child's wellbeing. It doesn't matter if the kid is loved or cared for, only that it is born so a woman can prove her purpose. Religion is indeed created by men. Literally.

[realhousewives-fan]

The Look of Disappointments

The fragile friendship between Heather Gay and Lisa Barlow is facing a huge set back as topics from the reunion resurface on social media.

As a retaliation, Heather is now blatantly making blowjobs jokes about Lisa and ridiculing Lisa for the cheating rumours about her.

It makes me believe Whitney Rose.

As I wrote in my last review, it seems like Heather and Angie Harrington are doing damage control and are putting all the blame on Whitney.

I feel so bad for Whitney though. She and her husband Justin just can’t seem to catch a break!

Whitney is trying to heal from her childhood trauma and suffered a fallout with Heather, then Justin gets fired!

They are really a representant for how a conservative community punish individualists and rebellious voices.

They’re literally being punished for their openness about sexuality. As Whitney said: 

“They’re shaming you because of what kind of woman I am.”

Heather on the other hand is struggling with writing her book in fear of what it would do to her relationship with her family.

They’re both struggling with finding their place outside the Mormon church in different ways, and they’re hurting each other in the process.

It’s interesting that Meredith Marks would have a double date with none other than Angie and her husband who created the fake Instagram account.

Angie claims that she and Meredith “trauma bonded” over the wrath of Lisa, which was a little rich.

She made it seem like Lisa had created fake accounts to expose things only they’ve talked about. Meredith was also aware that Lisa has done this.

But she’s also on the war path with Lisa, so how much can Meredith really be trusted?

Seth Marks’ face throughout this dinner was priceless though! He’s genuinely shocked by everything! You could see the wheels turning in his head.

“Chris Harrington created a fake Instagram account?! John Barlow told Chris to get the fuck away from him?! That’s so out of character!”

Jen Shah warned Heather about the Harringtons, but it didn’t seem like Heather had any plans on disinviting Angie from her choir audition.

[luxurybrownbarbie]

Re your ask about Candace owens, I’m not going to name any names, but one or two extremely popular hypergamy/level up/rich woman blog(s) on here had this whole discourse about pretending to be ultra conservative to marry rich men and I remember being so shocked that that was the advice they were giving to young girls. I’m talking posts with details, terms, step by step instructions and hundreds if not thousands of notes by now. They specifically name dropped her at some point as proof of how it works or why it’s important.

????????

That’s extremely weird, and really bad advice?

There are several ultra conservative Black and biracial women who are married to rich men, which again, is their cross to bear, but using Candace as an example specifically is very weird, because she’s not… happy?

Like, she’s not happy guys. Obviously she enjoys the attention and the social capital she has, no matter how fickle and extremely biased it is, but she doesn’t believe in any of the stuff she peddles. Commitment to the grift ≠ Belief in the grift. Her husband literally views her as beneath him in every possible way. She knows her status in his life is only guaranteed so long as she keeps to this very specific persona. He married her for political and social reasons, and his family can’t stand her. Her “supporters” literally called her infant child slurs the first (and only) time she posted a photo of them; and then her husband was literally agreeing with those “supporters” when they said they hoped their baby looked nothing like her, because “m*lattos are only beautiful when they look like their white parent.”

You can pretend to be whatever you want in pursuit of your life goals, but it’s not sustainable in any way. She’s “rich” and “popular” but she’s not happy.

Leaning in to white supremacy to marry rich is actually one of the most misguided, horrifying, and demented things I’ve ever heard. And teaching people how to weaponize their self hate to marry rich is… I have no words. Setting girls up for a lifetime of self esteem issues and trauma is so evil, I don’t even have the energy to unpack that.

[doctorbeth]

Stripes the 50 year old tiger

This will be a longer post, because it’s all about the details, and there was a lot of going back and forth with photos and emails to get Stripes and his stripes just right.  So be sure you’re comfy when you sit down to read it. :-)

***************

Stripes person first wrote to me back in December about her tiger, Stripes, and his companion RedEye the snake.  Both were starting to feel their age, but as she said,

“ As you can see Stripes is in the most need of repairs. Personally, I’m guessing that a full recovering is needed, but I’m certainly no expert and will follow your advice.  Here are some pics which show Stripes fur disappearing and soon he will be bald.  Amazingly he has no damage that I can find. His ears need some stuffing, but they have never been tall, firm standing Teddy Bear ears.”

Here are the diagnosis photos she sent:

As you can see, his belly section was pretty good, but his furry parts were wearing and fading.  His person really wanted his fur recovered, in an orangier rather than tanner fur, and she opted for him to have a spa too.

Here he is in his bubble bath:

Once he was dry, he got restuffed and of course, got a heart with a bit of his original stuffing.  Here’s his heart being made:

Then it was time to choose furs.  As some of you know who’ve been reading for a while, usually with tigers we use a solid fur of the preferred background color, then add the stripes by hand afterwards.  Here were the best fur options:

His person opted for the orangier, furrier one.

Stripes got recovered, and some smaller wounds on his belly were sewn.  Then, it was time for hand striping.  I did some basic  striping, and then sent photos for feedback:

His person’s first response was:

Beth, you’ve made me cry at work.  I’m absolutely over the moon with Stripes new look!!!  Holy cats he’s looking beautiful!!  You are AMAZING!

But I was asking for striping feedback, and she happily provided it:

The stripes.  Thank you for being so conservative. :) I would like to add some more stripes. I’ve included an updated pic that shows where I would like some stripes added.

Tail:   Could you put 2 stripes in a ring pattern around the tail? They continue the black spots you started. I also noticed with other Gund tigers that the ring was painted at a slight angle or sprayed as 2 “halves”, not a straight ring that looked like a raccoon’s tail. (pics)  I know that there was more black at the tip of the tail, but I don’t think the whole tip was black.

Back Leg:   I’ve continued your 3 spots into stripes.

Body:  I’ve added 2 stripes, but if you will notice stripe #2 is in the shape of a ‘V”. (I remember this detail as a child)  The stripes do NOT have to line up with the fabric underneath.  They didn’t before.  :D

Face: I’ve added a short stripe above Stripes’ right eye. This detail always gave him a slight serious look without being mean. (not a lot of slant to the line, if any) I have always loved this detail about him.  And I’ve elongated the stripe on his forhead.

Beth, I’m pretty sure we will be adding some more stripes to the back, especially his head but I thought we might tackle this bit first.

She closed with:

Again, I just absolutely can’t thank you enough for your beautiful and loving work on my best friend. I have been showing people the before and after pics for the last 5 hours.  I’m so happy!!!

So back to drawing stripes on Stripes I went.  Here are the next batch of photos:

Stripes person was thrilled:

Stripes looks spectacular!!  I mean he is just awesome with the stripes that you’ve filled out.

She wanted just one more stripe.  She sent a photo, but it was in another format, so I won’t put it here, but she also described what she wanted very well:

So I just have 1 more stripe for you.  If you look at my pic, you will see that I’ve drawn a line over the small black dot that is on his forehead.  In the last pic you sent me you can still see that it’s just a spot and not a stripe.  Could you lengthen that spot into a stripe for me?

Please note the position. When you are seated facing Stripes, this stripe includes/starts at the black spot and runs towards the right.  You have a pretty stripe that’s higher on the head already placed on the left so this one goes off to the right and is the same length as that one.

Adjustment made, I sent another photo (you can see the printout with her line instruction next to him):

Her response:

Perfection Achieved!  I’m so so happy!!!!   How many exclamation points can I put in an email to show you how perfect Stripes is!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Stripes got packed up and headed home to a grateful human and snake.  Here he is at home with his pal, RedEye:

His person was soooo happy!  She wrote a very long thank you, with a history of Stripes and RedEye, and I don’t want to edit it, so I’m copying it entirely here for you to read.  But you can skip it if you want and just know she was happy!

Hi Beth,

Sit back and relax.  This may be a little bit of a long happy read.  :D   Please feel free to use any content or pics from my emails for your blog.

I waited anxiously for Stripes to arrive.  Yes, my husband signed for the box and I couldn’t wait to get home!

And so the moment has arrived.  I brought Stripes best friend Redeye in from the bedroom to help me open the package. We open,  I close my eyes dig in past the packing peanuts and pull out our best friend.  Oh My Goodness!  He is beautiful! bright! and colorful! He practically glows! I see his face. Yes, yes! It’s Stripes!  I see the same face I’ve gazed into and loved for 50 years. And that’s when the tears start. Crying, mouth open in shock but my husband says he’s never seen me happier.  ..After many long years, I can finally cuddle my friend again.

Beth you have given me back something I thought I would never have again.  I love Stripes so, but I couldn’t, didn’t dare to pet him or cuddle him. I had to be so gentle, so afraid that I was doing more damage to him. But now all that is over!  I can sleep with my buddy by my side. I can take him on vacations again!  I’m tearing up just writing this.  I can’t express my joy…absolute joy over the work you have done. Stripes looks like a beautiful and bright toy again.  Thank you Beth.  Thank you so very much.

…And I’ll be sending Redeye to you some time in February.  I’ll be sure to email you first to start the process.

And here’s a little history about Stripes.  Stripes was a Christmas present in 1969. I have always loved tigers and I was in deep love the moment I saw him. He has enjoyed play tea parties with me, and watched drive-in movies sitting in the back window. He has looked over the candy hauls that I collected during Halloween and been in a beautiful oak tree during the crisp dry autumn. (Carefully placed on a towel, but he needed to experience a tree. He is a tiger after all.)   He has been with me in Japan for a year and traveled all over the US northwest  looking out of a train window. And he has done all these things with Redeye by his side.

--But let’s face the facts, in the last few years my friend was disappearing before my eyes. There was good fortune that his seams were okay but the fur was coming off. His stripes were completely gone in areas. He was looking more yellow everywhere. And I dared only to pat him. That’s when I began to search for help to restore my friend and so I found Realms of Gold on the internet.

Beth has been wonderful, corresponding with emails and working out details by sending pictures back and forth. She listened to my input and was absolutely amazing at applying the stripes in the right places. We actually discussed exactly where to put them.  :D  I trust Beth’s skills so much that I will be sending Stripes best friend Redeye along soon.  He was amazed and so happy with Stripes look, that he can’t wait to go to Realms of Gold!

Okay Beth, this may be a little serious but I wanted to express my honest feelings, and let you know why this has been so important to me.

With my 2 stuffed animals loosing hair and looking tired a sobering thought occurred to me. If something happened to me, what would happen to them? We have no children to give them to. We can’t donate them because being so worn out, no one would take them. And the thought that they might end up in a garbage bin was too much. Of course for me, my goal was to pet, play and enjoy them again.  That goes without saying.  But now, seeing Stripes beautiful bright colors, I am happy and secure in knowing that years from now, I can donate or will him to a children’s home where he will continue to be loved. (I have several friends who grew up in orphanages and we think it’s a wonderful idea.)

Thank you so much Beth!!!!!!

I don’t know about all of you, but that made me smile all day. :-)

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 4

Will

Cult girl attends her grandmother's funeral and is approached with a highly unorthodox last will and testament.

@wisesandwichshark

Trigger warnings: emotional manipulation and abuse, verbal abuse, death, slight emetophobia, body-shaming, ED mention, pregnancy and family planning

There was no use recounting anything from the leading up to the funeral. You spent that first night wine-drunk, munching on foie gras, watching Arrested Development and diagnosing each character to the best of your psychological abilities. You remembered cry-laughing at the same jokes you had memorized, and reminiscing on all the insane shit your own personal Lucille Bluth pulled on you. That was the highlight of the week. It was all downhill from there. 

Firstly, you were sick. That Sunday, you wrote it off as a hangover. Then, the hangover returned with a vengeance, just to add salt to the already open wound of having to pretend to mourn your abusive grandmother. At least the physical pain would give your acting an air of sincerity, you thought. 

Hannibal dressed in a solid black tux: it was almost uncanny to see him outside of any of his normal checkered suits. You selected a plain black dress and a strand of pearls.

The funeral was to be held at the same country club Anna’s wedding was held. Your grandmother was like a pharaoh, insisting that the empire she built know that even in death, she reigned supreme. The country club was her pyramid. 

Anna asked if you wanted to say a few words. As much as you wanted to get up and tell all her country club friends about the time she reported you as an abducted child at age twenty-two when you refused to leave your boyfriend and move back in with her, you knew that it wasn’t in good taste. You racked your brain for any story that could be considered remotely funeral-appropriate, but none came to mind. 

You spent the entire funeral trying not to roll your eyes too obviously at the stories of abuse her country club friends somehow remembered fondly. Your soul just left your body throughout the entire process and you were unsure if it would ever return. 

All things considered, it could have gone much worse. Then, it did. 

The beginning of the end was when your grandmother’s estate lawyer pulled you and Anna aside to conduct the reading of the will. He showed you to a side room, then excused himself before closing the door behind him. 

“Hello, [F/N].” Liam greeted, trying to cut through the awkward silence that came with first seeing each other after four straight years. “I’m very sorry about your gran. She was a great woman.” 

You gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Thanks, Lee. I appreciate it.” 

“No she doesn’t.” Anna muttered. “And it’s Liam.” 

“I don’t mind ‘Lee’.” Liam contested. “My mum called me Lee. I actually quite like it.” 

Anna was in one of her ‘I’m so upset, please ask me why’ moods. She sat on one of the heavy armchairs with her legs crossed and eyes to the wall. You weren’t going to bite. 

Liam wasn’t so cautious. “Princess, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” She pouted, not even dignifying her husband with a look. “I just think it’s interesting that I put the funeral together all by myself and someone couldn’t even be bothered to speak.” 

You shot Liam a look that said ‘way to go, jackass’. 

“Yeah,” You said, sitting down in an adjacent armchair. “That must suck.” 

Anna glared at you. “You really have nothing to say? Really?” 

You tensed up. “Let’s see, which charming anecdote would you have me tell? How about that time when she made you wear a fat suit for an hour after you complained about how the low-carb ice cream tasted like chemicals?” 

Liam looked in shock at his wife. “Did she really?” 

“Once.” Anna confessed, holding up one finger. 

You turned to Liam, as if you were sharing some hot gossip. “That was all it took to give her an eating disorder when she was thirteen.” 

Hannibal was just a fly on the wall. Anna noticed his lack of reaction. 

“And I bet Hannibal knows all about this, huh?” Anna said, throwing her hand in his direction. “Because he just needs to hear all of our private family business, right?” 

You stood up from your seat. “First of all, I take offense at the implication that my fiancée isn’t family.” 

An evil smile spread on Anna’s face. “But he wasn’t always your fiancé, was he, [F/N]?” 

“Holy shit, you cracked the code.” You said, flatly. “There was a point in time when Hannibal and I weren’t an item. Real shocker, that one.” 

“You know what I mean.” She sneered, then approached Hannibal. “Dr. Lecter, is it true that before you and [F/N] became romantically involved, you were her therapist?” 

Liam looked scandalized. Hannibal was just as put-together as always. 

“That is true.” He said, feeling no shame whatsoever. 

Anna turned back to you. “Now don’t you think that’s just a smidge unethical? For a therapist to date their much younger patient?” 

You narrowed your eyes. You carried yourself with the lightness of a woman who finally had the moral high ground. “So you want to talk about what’s ethical, huh? I suppose that means you’ve told Liam about pineapple.”

All the blood drained from her face. You crossed your arms and held your head up a little higher. 

“That’s what I thought.” You grinned. 

“Look, could we just pretend to be a normal, functioning family for ten minutes?” Anna pleaded, as if there were anyone other than herself to blame for provoking an argument.

“That’s on you two.” Liam, rightfully, pointed out. He gestured to himself and then to Hannibal. “Neither of us have said anything.” 

The estate lawyer must have gotten his juris doctorate alongside a master's in impeccable fucking timing, because that was when he decided to make his entrance.

"I'm sorry for the wait, everyone." He announced. "And I'm sorry for having to pull you aside in your hour of mourning. Usually the last will and testament is handled through email to the beneficiaries, but your grandmother was quite adamant it be approached this way."

"That definitely sounds like her." You said, exchanging glances with Hannibal. You'd talked about this for what felt like hours the week prior. She was going to pull some last-minute bullshit to humiliate you from beyond the grave. Give all the inheritance to Anna and leave a snide comment about you in a legal document. You knew it was coming. All you could hope was for it to be quick.

The lawyer pulled an envelope from his briefcase. "She specifically asked for her two living grandchildren and their significant others to be present."

"Did she say it like that?" Anna raised an eyebrow. "Or was it more like, 'Anna and her husband, and [F/N] and her therapist'?"

"Mrs. Young," Hannibal said, taking your hand. "Until you tell your husband about pineapple, you aren't allowed to judge us."

Anna glared at you. "What the hell? He knows, too?!"

"Yeah." You answered. "I tell him everything."

"Okay, who or what is pineapple?" Liam interjected. "And why do I get the feeling I'm the only one not in the know, here?"

"That's cause you are." You confirmed. "And you have your lovely wife to thank for that."

"Everyone!" The lawyer called out. Clearly, he'd seen his share of dysfunctional families. "Please, let me just read the will and you can continue arguing afterwards."

"Y'know what? Fair enough." You said, crossing your legs. "Let's rip off this band-aid, shall we?"

The lawyer opened the envelope and produced a single page. He cleared his throat.

"I, Beatrice [L/N], being of sound mind and body, do hereby bequeath all my worldly possessions-" He began reading the long first sentence. "Including but not limited to, a collective sum of $45 million, the family home and my shares of the country club, to the first of my granddaughters to give birth."

You expected nothing. You expected something. But you never could have expected this.

"Can you please read that last part again?" You asked, unsure if what you heard was the result of a stroke.

"The entire inheritance goes to the first one of you to have a baby." The lawyer clarified, trying to make it sound like a reasonable arrangement.

"That makes sense." Anna said, nodding.

You looked at her, dumbfounded. "How in the fuck on fire does that make sense to you?"

"Well, the money would be going to a good cause." She rationalized. "To raise the baby, right?"

You shook your head. "No, this is insane. Grandma has always had this weird obsession with bloodlines, and now she's trying to incentivize us to carry it out."

"What happens if neither of us can, y'know?" Anna asked.

The lawyer pushed his glasses up his nose. "If neither granddaughter is willing to produce a child, the entire inheritance will go to the Eagle Forum, so my ungrateful grandchildren can learn about family values."

"She hated the Eagle Forum!" Anna objected. "She wouldn't dare."

"She absolutely would." You pressed your fingers into your forehead. "That's upper-class white moderates for you. And she doesn't have to be around to see when they name a fucking wing after her."

"The Beatrice [L/N] center for denying women bodily autonomy." Hannibal said. "It's quite fitting."

"[F/N], we can't let that happen." Anna pleaded. "We can't let Eagle Forum get a penny of that money."

"Why the hell not?" You said. Though on principle, you agreed, you knew this was just another one of your grandmother's power grabs. At the end of the day, she chose to leave her money to the Eagle Forum. And it would be her name on that check, not yours.

"Oh my god, you actually hate babies more than you hate conservatives." Anna stood with her mouth agape.

"Don't put words in my mouth." You snapped. "I don't hate babies. I hate grandma for trying to threaten me into having one. I hate grandma for pinning us against each other and making sure it stays that way."

"What do you have against giving me a little niece or nephew, huh?" Anna folded her arms.

"I'm fucking done." You said, throwing up your hands. "This will be the last you ever see of me."

Of course, that's what you said the last time.

[comradekatara]

gaang + their thoughts on horror movies?

aang: he loves campy horror that really leans into the spooky aesthetics and jumpscares, but then psychological thrillers that are genuinely creepy & twisted rly freak him out. he doesn’t wanna confront the human potential for depravity or his like. inner demons. no thank u!!!

katara: she likes horror movies in theory bc she likes fucked up scary ghost stories but she’s always pulled out of those movies if they’re too explicitly misogynistic, racist, or conservative in their themes. she loved get out a lot, but then she made aang go see us with her (she loved us too) but (alas!) it gave aang nightmares so. thanks a lot katara >:(

sokka: he finds horror movies comforting, in a strange way; it’s the only artform designed to validate his anxieties. asking “what’s the worst that could happen?” and then depicting that scenario is cathartic, actually

toph: eh, she could take or leave the horror genre as a whole. she cares less about shock value and more about the quality of the story being told. she loves “the husband stitch” by carmen maria machado, tho

zuko: not rly his vibe, he doesn’t like art that feels detached, callous, or coming from a place of irony. that said, he will watch anything as long as someone implies that if he doesn’t, it’s because he’s a pussy. he’ll sit thru the whole thing just to declare it was boring & lacked artistry  

suki: jennifer’s body stan. enough said

azula: hates horror movies. hates most movies, actually. doesn’t see the point of cinema as an artform. movies are just books for people too lazy to read.

ty lee: horror is totally her guilty pleasure. she has a really twisted sense of humor so she finds those movies super entertaining. she watches horror movies the same way other ppl watch romcoms

mai: likes horror well enough. as a genre it’s definitely at its best when the horror serves as a vehicle for social commentary. and the tropes can be pretty funny. but her favorite thing about horror movies is marathoning them with ty lee, eating popcorn and laughing at the misfortune of those poor final girls. in those moments, she feels invincible 

[asgardianhobbit98]

The Hobbit Fic - 'Together' Fíli / OC

This is part of a 28 Day of fluff challenge written for the Keissekon Server - you can find my masterlist for this here!

If you wanna read this fic on Ao3 and give it some support there, you can do so here!

Summary: During the wedding of Kalâtha and Fíli, nerves almost end the wedding. But there is nothing the couple cannot face when they are together; when their entire family is together. TW: None! Please note there is also Bagginshield in this! It's also set in an 'everyone survived' AU, and it's post BOTFA :3 enjoyyy (I hope)

Kalâtha didn’t need a formal ceremony to tell her she and Fíli would face life together. It had been a rocky start for the two of them. It seemed to be a common theme for anything in Kalâtha’s life… even her own life had started off tumultuously.

But she had found her way in life, and she had found her way back to Fíli.

Society asked for them to get married officially. It should be like a dream any young dwarf had; marrying the one they loved, and on top of that… marrying the newly appointed king of Erebor.

It should be a happy day.

But Kalâtha was terrified.

What if she befell the same fate as her mother? What if she died much sooner than Fíli and broke his heart? What if marriage made things feel forced? What if her becoming queen made her ruin the new home Thorin and Bilbo had managed to make out of Erebor?

What if she ruined everything?

Everything…

“Open the door, Kal.”

“No.”

She was acting like a fool. She knew that. But no matter what they said, they couldn’t make her leave this room and marry Fíli. She’d panicked the second she saw herself in the mirror, dressed up as a bride, as a queen. But that was all she was: dressed up as a bride, as a queen. She wasn’t any of those things – she couldn’t let herself be any of those things.

“Kal… You’ll do fine. Don’t you believe your best friend?”

“Go away, Kíli.”

A sigh, and footsteps retreating. But not all of them.

“Kally?” That was Bilbo’s name for her. “Darling, open the door.”

But she shook her head, curled further up into her corner, and continued to cry.

With a deep breath, Kalâtha nodded her head. The guards opened the large, wooden doors, revealing the crowd filling the great hall up to its maximum capacity. The sea of people had parted to offer her a path down the hall, all the way toward the steps leading up to the throne there. It wasn’t the official throne, but it was the throne used by royalty during feasts or special events.

Up ahead, Fíli stood waiting, still crownless. Thorin stood in front of the throne. They were tiny figures still, too far away for her to make out their expressions or faces. But she knew it was them.

Nerves made her entire body numb, and she thought for a moment that she might faint.

But then an arm hooked with hers, and she tore her gaze away from the watching crowd and the throne up ahead to glance at Bilbo. The hobbit offered her a reassuring smile, squeezed her arm close to his body, and gestured for her to take the first step when… and if… she was ready.

It was against formality for Bilbo to be there. In reality it should be her family, but she had no family alive anymore.

So Bilbo had stepped in.

And so had Dori. He moved to be on her other side, hooking his arm with hers too.

She smiled and took the first step down the long path to her soon-to-be-husband… and throne.

Another knock on the door made her jump in shock and shake her head despite no one being able to see. There was a shuffle of feet before the person knocked again.

“Narrâna? (Superior lady)” The nickname did not help Kalâtha feel any better, and she didn’t respond even to Fíli. “Open the door, please. I want to talk.”

“You want to convince me.”

“Never… If you do not want this, we do not do it.”

“Fíli,” came Thorin’s voice, but Fíli must have sent a look his uncle’s way, or said something, because Thorin didn’t continue scolding.

She also wouldn’t be entirely surprised if Bilbo had shushed Thorin. The king was quite conservative in his ways, and wanted Fíli to ensure there were heirs in the future. He didn’t mean anything by it, of course.

“Do you mean that, or are you just saying that to make me open the door?” But she was already moving toward the door, crawling, pathetically, on all fours as tears continued to stream down her face.

“I would never… manipulate…” he said sadly, unable to finish his sentence.

Her words had struck hard.

And she immediately opened the door, guilt pricking at her heart as she threw herself into his arms before he’d been ready, the two stumbling slightly on the spot.

She cried. Sobbing.

And Fíli was quick to walk them back into the room and close the door behind them, shutting out Bilbo’s concerned voice as he had tried to approach Kalâtha only to have Thorin stop him.

“Amrâlimê… talk to me…” whispered Fíli soothingly, arms holding her tightly against him.

She noticed he was all dressed up and ready for the ceremony too. It was not custom to see each other before the wedding… but who cared when their loved one was not feeling okay?

She stepped back and let everything spill out: all her worries, all her fears, everything she felt anxious about… She sobbed through it, and she was sure that most of it wasn’t very coherent, but Fíli nodded along to show he was listening, that he understood, and reached out to wipe away tears and snot from her face as she spoke.

When Kalâtha finished, Fíli offered her a gentle smile. “It’s nothing special, Kalâtha. It’s a ceremony to show the people where we stand. But nothing is going to change between us. I promise. Things will not turn bad, we… we aren’t your parents.” She swallowed down her emotions at his words, and nodded her head. “As for the throne…” He chuckled, causing her to tilt her head to the side in confusion. “If you think I can handle the throne any better than you? You are mistaken. Thorin is giving you the crown, not me.”

“That’s not true,” she quickly defended. “He said he’s giving it to us.”

Fíli smiled, raising an eyebrow at her and waiting for her words to sink in with her too.

She blinked, and looked down at her hands.

“We’re doing this together, Kalâtha.” Softly, he lifted her chin up. “To work together. To be together. Officially. As a statement to the world that you are finally mine.”

“I’ve always been yours,” she said through a smile, tears stopping.

“I know,” he smirked cockily, “but they don’t know. So let’s show them.”

“Are you sure you’re this confident nothing will go wrong?”

Fíli nodded her head. “But I will not do this if you are in doubt.”

“I’m only scared… I don’t doubt us.”

“Then we do this.”

“Together.”

As Bilbo, Kalâtha and Dori reached the steps leading up the throne, Fíli was there halfway up, an outstretched hand offered to her, and kind, reassuring eyes watching her beauty with a twinkle of admiration. She let go of Bilbo and Dori to reach out to his hand, fingers intertwining… and suddenly, the giddiness a bride ought to have on this day finally reached her, a smile appearing on her lips as it felt as though they were holding each other’s hands for the first time.

He helped her up the steps, holding onto her hand tightly, before both stood in front of Thorin and the throne(s), crowd watching in anticipation and joy. To the side, Kíli and Dís stood watching with giddy smiles, both ready to rush forward and hug both newlyweds the second Thorin had gone through the boring stuff. Behind them, on the first row, their closest companions stood, Bilbo and Dori having gone to join them.

But that felt wrong to Kalâtha, and in the middle of Thorin’s speech, she stopped him.

The crowd murmured in shock, and Fíli watched her curiously. He most likely would have thought she’d gone back to being panicked, but her fingers still holding onto his calmed such anxieties.

Instead, she turned her head over her shoulder to look at Balin, Dwalin, Bilbo, Bofur, Bifur, Bombur, Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin and Gimli (and all family members belonging to them all).

And she gestured, with a smile, for them to join.

Dwalin was the first to step up, never one to shy away from supporting Kalâtha. He nodded his head at her appreciatively, and with a hint of understanding, even, when he climbed the steps and joined Dís and Kíli. Soon, the others did the same, and Kalâtha didn’t turn back to Thorin until they were all stood beside the throne, like family.

Together.

Together did not just include Fíli. Together included all of them. All of her found family.

With a nod to Thorin, she notified him she was ready now.

And Thorin smiled. He didn’t continue with his speech, which had been a long talk on how Fíli and Kalâtha would uphold the duties of the throne ten times better than the old, weary soul of Thorin (his words, no one else’s), but instead he took his crown off and lifted it above Fíli’s head. “Actions speak louder than words. You will both care for Erebor far better than I ever could. You will unite our people far better than anyone can.”

Fíli bowed his head slightly, fingers tightening around Kalâtha’s for support. He, too, was slightly worried about taking over these duties, after all. He had been from the moment Thorin had started grooming him, he had been since the beginning of the quest for Erebor.

And Kalâtha held onto his hand, squeezing it for comfort.

Together.

Together they turned to face the crowd as they cheered for their new king and queen.

Together, the entire family smiled down at their fellow kin.

Together, they would make Erebor a prosperous and safe dwarven kingdom again.

[foundouthatdabiistouyatodoroki]

"You're not the only one who didn't really see him"

There are nuances to what she said to “didn’t look at him either" This has been already answered by many meta writers in the fandom. I will answer this ask to the best of my abilities.

To examine what she said, let’s take a look at Rei’s background for better clarification on her character.

On the first panel, there’s a Japanese miniature garden in the background, and on the one page is Rei’s parent’s explanation of the Himura family. 

Judging from the explanation of the Himura history and the small panel of the miniature garden in the background, Rei came from a traditional conservative family one that held on to old costumes and traditions

Are they poor?

Touya’s comment about Rei's family sounds inaccurate to describe her family situation. I believe that they are not. Judging from the background I would say they have enough money to sustain themselves; from the explanation they gave to Endeavor they were not poor, they just fell out of power.

These panels say a lot about Rei’s family; this page only gave us a glimpse of their personalities. 

Her family takes pride in themselves as Himuras. The way they talked showed they care more about the Himura name than their own daughter’s individuality. They valued the Himura name over the needs of their daughter.

Shoto said that Endeavor made her family agree to the marriage but in reality, they happily accepted the marriage.

They gladly welcome Endeavor in because they see this marriage as an opportunity to increase their influence.

When Rei told Endevoir she agreed to the marriage for her family’s sake, this means wasn’t out of love, it was out of obligation.

Often old fashioned rich families are all about rules and duty. Since Rei was a Himura woman she had a duty to follow the wishes of the Himura family she agreed to this marriage out of the duty of a Himura woman.

Rei never wanted to marry Endeavor. You can see how unhappy she is in these panels and how she resigned to her situation

She knew as a Himura woman she didn’t have too much of a choice but in reality, she did.

I said before that rei and endeavors marriage is a “miai” a "potential meeting interview that may lead to marriage” and here’s the thing you can refuse the marriage it said potential marriage, not marriage so you can refuse it if it doesn’t go well Rei can refuse the marriage meeting but she didn’t; she only agreed out of expectations of her parents.

She was okay with Touya and Fuyumi: that’s a fact,

She was against having more children; that’s a fact. She knew it would hurt Touya.

The reason she was forced to have more children was out of fear of her husband.

She yielded to Endeavor’s demands because she was terrified of Endeavor’s obsession.

In these following panels, the look in Rei’s eyes showed how she’s afraid of her husband.

There was a reason she didn’t go to Touya: it's because she knew that Touya only wanted to Endeavor to look at him. 

She must have been aware of others’ desires to some extent; she must have known what her parents wanted and knew what Endeavor was using her for. If she was able to scathingly reply that Endeavor is running away then she is aware of others’ feelings to some extent.

If she was able to tell off Endeavor why did she fail with Touya well… let’s examine the infamous Touya and Rei scene:

Rei, finding her son about to go out to train, attempted to stop him from going out. She managed to stop Touya by asking this question.

The reason why he paused from the question is that the first time someone asked him what he wanted. This question pierced his obsession with living up to the ideal successor his father burdened him. It’s cathartic because it showed a little more self-awareness on Touya’s part: she asked what he wanted and it almost succeeded in stopping Touya but the next… She ruined it at this moment.

You think she’s saying this to Touya but she might say this to herself.

This had nothing to do with Touya. It's all about Rei’s perspective. She focused not on Touya’s feelings but her perspective on all of this. She focuses on how she feels than her problems, on how she feels trapped in her marriage Endeavor and is suffering from it. This is more about Rei than about Touya.

Her words ignore Touya’s problems and goals: he does want to be a hero but he wanted to be good enough in his father’s eyes. She didn’t address Touya’s emotional needs and understand his pain and failed to do so her inability to understand her sons perspective and inability to acknowledge her own mistakes

In contrast to what she says are her actions. She did the same thing she told him not to do, the best example is with her marriage to Endeavor. She never wanted the marriage but agreed out of her parents’ urging. She went along with what her parents wanted for her. She went along with the marriage knowing full well it was a quirk marriage and knew fully well that Endeavor wanted her genetics to create a perfect heir.

She did whatever others told her she yielded to others’ demands of her like she did out of her family and Endeavor’s expectations of her. She continued to play along with the situation until it worsened over time.

To make matters worse, her words "to look beyond his father" sounded like the same thing Endeavor said to Touya 5 years earlier. She didn’t practice what she preached: her advice highlights her flaw she didn’t want to notice.

Rei said not to follow the path his parents set out for him but she did the very thing that her parents set out for her. She pulled the entire do what I say not what I do out on Touya. Her entire advice comes off as hypocritical and that’s what her son called her out on.

He was not wrong: she is responsible for his suffering too for putting Touya through this path. 

That’s why her son’s words shocked her: because he’s right and it hurt to hear the reason why it hurt is that it was true his death after she was hospitalized, hurt her so much because she realized that she failed her child.

In a small dialogue, we get to hear Rei’s thoughts confronted with the truth. It made her vulnerable to the abuse when she began to associate that stare with her abuser leading to her mental breakdown

People in abusive relationships tend to downplay their suffering. She attempted to downplay it; she deluded herself by convincing herself it’s not that bad when in reality it was. She hid how unhappy she was underneath.

She thought she didn’t have a choice but she did have a choice and didn’t act. Touya too was wrong about her not having a choice. Despite knowing the truth she was so passive and complacent to the problems in the Todoroki household and allowed it to happen she was too passive to her situation and never acted she allowed it to happen. It's because she lacked any sort of self-awareness and confrontation in addressing the abuse. This made her not realize how much pain Touya was in.  

She sees the rest of her children as manifestations of her mistakes. She doesn’t like to know she made mistakes, especially ones that hurt others as a consequence she didn’t want to see her problems. She couldn’t look at him because doing so would mean she would have to face her mistake and it hurt her so much.

So the whole reason why she didn’t look at Touya is that she views Touya as the epitome of her mistakes and she is one of the reasons he’s suffering. It hurts to look at him because a lot like to admit she made mistakes and she was just as responsible for them.

[shadyteacup]

Part 3~

Warnings: one sided love, angst, strong language.

Word count: 771

Recap:

Dazai looked at her with a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

"I'll show him how dangerous it is to play with someone's emotions. I'll make him pay."

Triagonal Heartache

"No, Mr. Ex Executive of the Mafia, you aren't going to do that. Don't jeopardize your relationship with your partner for something as stupid as this."

She said, taking another puff of the cigarette.

"This isn't stupid, Y/N."

She sighed. Yes, it wasn't stupid. But she knew it was going to happen anytime now. Her and doppo just weren't compatible. He was a conserved idealist, one who never strayed from the metaphorical 'correct path', while she ridiculed the rules that she thought were set by insecure human beings in order to mask their drawbacks. 'A woman is supposed to support her house, and is secondary to her husband'. What bullshit. Pure, misogynistic bullshit. A perfect example of an insecure man trying to ascertain dominance over his wife by making up a shitty rule.

Not that Doppo believed in such extreme views, but yeah, he was pretty orthodox, and followed a set of rules that were created by old, dead, 'wise' people, that probably were nutheads. She can't blindly follow something, just because the 'elders say so'. One must set their own rules, form their own opinions and follow them.

She was a sharp and sound woman, one who followed her own moral compass, and didn't think twice while bending the rules if the situation called for it.

Now that she thought about it, she wonders why the both of them even were together at all. Maybe it was puppy love, or simply a means to explore how the other kind of mentality worked. Maybe it was just a way to prove that opposites attract. Well, she now knew that they don't. They repel. Only like minded people can live together in harmony.

"You know Y/N, opposites don't attract."

Dazai said after a while.

She was shocked at how he was thinking along the same lines as she was; but was quick to mask her surprise.

"But not all similar people do well in a relationship, either. So how does one figure out if he'll have a chance with someone?"

She fixated her gaze on his dimly lit face, admiring the sharp and chiseled features.

"I feel that people with similar personalities attract."

He took a long drag of his cigarette.

"I don't think so. Think about two depressed people in a relationship. Things can only go wrong in such a situation. "

"Depression isn't a personality, Dazai. It's a disorder, something that can be treated. With proper treatment and guidance, maybe the pair will be able to live in harmony."

She got up, crushing her cigarette in the ash tray.

"I have another one."

"I'm not going to get a smoke. I'm going to sleep. I have to go through a couple of documents with the company, so that I can begin working with them on Monday."

They both went in, Dazai shutting the large German door of the balcony.

"Oh, yeah, you got hired. I completely forgot about that."

She grinned at him, posing and flicking her hair.

"Ofcourse I did. It'll be ridiculous to reject an amazing, talented and beautiful candidate like me!"

Snickers could be heard as they made their way to Dazai's closet.

Pulling out a set of clothes for her, he asked, "So, should I sleep on the couch, or are you OK to give up the bedroom?"

"You literally have four bedrooms, Dazai."

"Oh, but if you sleep on the couch, it'll be like a typical 'girl sleeps at friend's house, who's a boy, and they are only friends' scenario!"

Giggling, she smacks his arm, snatching her clothes and walking to her designated room.

"Shut up, idiot. I'm going to sleep in my room!"

"Technically, it's my room!"

"Oh please! You're my best friend, so technically this is my house!"

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Friends share everything, you know. They share their feelings, food, sometimes houses,"

"Very smart. How convenient 🙄. "

Dazai pouted as he followed her, seating himself on the edge of her bed.

She frequented his place so much, that one of the rooms was practically hers. It even had a few of her soft toys and pillows, and a few books by the bedside.

"Why are you so salty anyways?"

She asked,scooting over to make some space for him. He gladly accepted the extra space, and shifted to sit beside her.

"You didn't share your ice-cream with me."

She furrowed her brows, trying to remember what he's talking about.

Suddenly, she remembered. Her eyes widened, and she began laughing.

"Don't laugh! It hurt my feelings!"

She buckled over, still shamelessly laughing at his face.

"That- that was two months ago!"

...

"Brat, why isn't Dazai here yet?"

Kunikida asked Atsushi, who was completing his paper work.

Atsushi sweatdropped, having no idea where he was. He had been to his mentor's quarters today morning, wanting to wish him a good morning, only to find that he wasn't there.

"I- I don't know, Kunikida-san... he wasn't in his room today morning, so I figured he was here..."

Kunikida's anger was visible, as his face turned red, and if someone looked closely enough, they would spot smoke coming out of his ears.

"I'm going to kill him when he arrives, I swear to God, I'll punch his-"

"Ohoho~ Just who is Kunikida going to beat up?"

Dazai walked through the door, hands in his pockets.

"Dazai, you jerk, you're three hours late! Explain yourself!"

Dazai smirked.

"I don't need to explain anything to anyone."

He tilted his head, glaring at Kunikida with hooded eyes.

"Let alone someone as vile as you."

Atsushi gasped. Dazai had never been hostile towards anyone in the agency before. This was new. And scary. He gulped, deciding to flee from the scene. He grabbed his laptop, and rushed over to an empty cabin.

Kunikida was shocked. Obviously, Dazai knew about his breakup. He didn't expect him to side her, though. He had thought that Dazai will defend him. He felt betrayed.

He recovered quickly, and strode over to Dazai, grabbing his collar.

"Listen to me, this is none of your business-"

Dazai flipped him and pushed him towards the wall. He grabbed Kunikida's collar, and glared down at him.

"No, you listen to me."

His tone sent shivers down Kunikida's spine.

"What you did is unforgivable. Now, face the consequences."

Yo, yo, yo! Howdy? How's it?? Lemme know!

I keep saying this, but it will all make sense soon.. actually, the next chapter will spice things up, and y'all will finally understand why it's titled 'Triagonal Heartache'

Stay tuned for more! Sheesh, I feel like a youtuber lol

[cloud9in]

The Half of It

A Mc x Poppy fic inspired by the film 

Summary: Bea, the town’s outcast is recruited by the school jock to win Poppy’s heart. But what happens when she starts falling for her as well?

Author’s Note: So this will be a multiple part series that includes scenes heavily inspired from the movie “The Half of It”. I certainly recommend watching it. My version will have different twists and a different ending, and definitely more angst. It will include mature themes as the story progresses.

Warnings for this chapter: Swearing. This is a good thing for now.

Chapter 1- 

“Love is simply the name for desire and pursuit of the whole.”

                                                   - Plato, The Symposium

It is said that when one half finds its other, there’s an unspoken understanding. A unity. And each would know no greater joy....than this. 

 ...Except this is highschool. And in my opinion, there is no other half. Maybe the other half is a paper on Greek God philosophy due at midnight. But make that four papers, including mine. 

 My name is Bea Hughes and let’s just say...this is not a very happy story. Well maybe some parts are, but you’ll have to read to find out. I come from a small town called Farmsville, and when I mean small, I mean really small. Except the highschool seems fucking huge, with never ending hallways and when you do somehow find the end, there’s usually two inbreds eating each others mouths off. Lucky for me I am the epitome of antisocial, reserved, an introvert, or whatever the inferior beings, aka every other senior, calls me when they think I can’t hear. But I hear everything, including that one time Bradley Denbrough, upcoming hotshot actor, or so he claims, found out about a crush a poor unsuspecting freshman had on him. Everybody knew what Bradley and his goons did to that boy, even the adults, but no charges were pressed. This town is as conservative as it gets, but no one knows of my secret. I carry this school on my back when it comes to having everyone graduate, but that’s all I am to them, a pawn. And that’s all I wanted to be, nothing more and nothing less. I preferred to be in the shadows. 

 ***

 ...Except the mandatory Senior Talent Show forced Bea out of her hibernation hole. The thought haunted her as she sat in the dance studio, the last fucking place she wanted to be. Dance was so not a Bea kinda thing, but the blonde knew exactly why she granted herself the misery of picking the class. Poppy Min Sinclair, the golden girl of Farmsville High, the preacher’s daughter on a more serious note. She is...the most fascinating girl Bea ever laid her eyes on even if her boyfriend was a complete asshole who sermonized his duties as her future husband. Like seriously? Poppy has got to have some screws loose to date such a fake loser who plagiarizes all of his speeches at sunday church, and once literally begged Bea to write an apology letter to his father for him after completely upending their summer cabin. Except the blonde wrote the opposite of an apology, it went something like this…

 Dear beloved donkey, I mean dad,

 I am terribly sorry for inviting 20 hookers to the summer cabin. I have these strange impulses and you should at least be grateful I didn’t invite the big boss as well. His wife came though, in many, many ways. You should get the carpet changed. 

 Sincerely, your STD free son

 It was safe to say that Mr. Denbrough had a near heart attack after reading it, and Bea did kinda feel bad, kinda. He never mentioned the letter to Bradley though, instead silently calling up the owner of Teopoli Catholic Summer Camp and essentially deporting the boy to Canada for the summer. No son of his would end up in hell was what the old man preached everyday from then on. It was the quietest summer Bea had ever experienced. 

 Being the towns outcast, Bea could have her fun when she so chooses to, but that didn’t pay the bills. In fact, the multiple essays that people paid her to write was her way of surviving and taking care of her mother. They weren’t very rich but Bea worked with what she had, helping her mother manage the farm, which included getting on her knees and wrestling the pigs. And that’s how she was gifted the name “pig girl”, stupid Bradley and his fake friends just had to wander too far and catch Bea in the act. She swore a remixed video of her hog calling surfaced the web at one point and that gave the blonde her five minutes of fame. Boy was it an awful time in her life. 

 Bea worked her mother’s previous job as station master or signalman for the trains that passed through, even if it barely paid her shit. The secluded feeling of sitting in that booth and having a moment with her thoughts was enough to give her purpose. Bea was fond of poetry and it usually helped her come up with song lyrics.

 Song lyrics…

 That she would have to sing at the talent show. A huge sigh escaped her lips as she slumped further into the ground, maybe hoping she could bury herself six feet under. It wasn’t that Bea hated singing, no she absolutely loved it. Playing her guitar at night and belting out lyrics that only resulted in her mother banging on the ceiling below in efforts to shut the blonde up. But the mere fact that she’d have to sing in front of the ruthless seniors rubbed her the wrong way. Something would go wrong, it always did. Bea was shaken out of her thoughts when Poppy crossed the center of the room, moving her hips slowly to the sound of Rihanna’s voice. The class chose a slow r&b song to choreograph today and of course all eyes were on Poppy.

 If i’m your girl say my name boy

let me know i'm in control

 Her silky blonde locks swayed as she danced to the beat, hands thrusting sensually along her sides. Bea stared in awe, almost like Poppy was the only one in the room and a spotlight illuminated every movement, every curve. Except she definitely wasn’t the only one picturing Poppy in that way. Carter, the school quarterback leaned against the railing, arms crossed and eyes trailing the rise and fall of her chest. 

 Got me wondering, I’m wondering if i'm on your mind

 Bea sat up straighter but nearly lost her bodily functions when Poppy locked eyes with her before spinning away. It was simple eye contact Bea, don’t let it get to your head. You already have multiple lyrics inspired by Poppy offering the bare minimum in human interaction. She doesn’t actually like you. Poppy is popular and has the perfect life...and boyfriend, even if Bea heavily disagrees. Poppy was a bitch of course, but not a bitch bitch. Unlike the other wannabe mean girls, the blonde didn’t give Bea hell, well that was because the girl paid her zero attention. She seemed distant, off in her own world, or well in her parents world learning the strategies of business. Poppy was expected to follow in her parents footsteps and keep up with her reputation of being the richest in town, and of course a faithful future wife. So fun. But the blonde had other prosperous dreams of travelling and following her passion of music and dance. Highschool was her only outlet and she took advantage of it any chance she’d get. Bea knew this because she would ride her bike every friday night to the school and watch Poppy dance from outside the glass window. Maybe Bea realized it was kinda creepy, but she’s dumb enough to not realize her obvious growing attraction. I mean who pedals miles just to watch someone trip on their feet? 

 ***

 The sound of the bell caught everyone's attention and the teacher slowly lowered the music. Bea watched as Bradley approached Poppy and smothered her with kisses and praises. She rolled her eyes painfully, this kind of PDA definitely wasn’t it, she could have gone her whole life without seeing that. She walked silently through the crowd of kids in the hall, everyone was laughing and talking to their friends. All Bea could allow her mind to focus on was the very intimidating billboard of names a few feet across from her. 

 Winter Talent Show Sign-Ups (Mandatory For Seniors)

 Bea glared at it quietly before signing her name on the sheet, sealing her inevitable fate. Through the hustle of students, Carter watched the blonde with a yearning look from afar. This should be great…

 The next few classes were a blur and Bea eventually found herself getting up to hand Ms. Kingsley her paper. The older woman looked at her with a knowing glance as she took a generous sip of her coffee, which was 75% tequila.

 “6 different interpretations on Plato? Colour me impressed Miss Hughes.” 

 Bea shrugs nonchalant, “yeah well would you rather read their actual essays?”

 “Oh hell no.” Kingsley feigns shock as she looks at the stack of papers with a comical expression. She takes another sip, watching her younger, prodigy of a student carefully. “You know there are places outside of this godforsaken town where you can put your talents to use... Real use. I teach at Belvoire University occasionally.” Ina winks and slides Bea an application, studying her initial reaction. “It’s...in New York.”

“Damn right! The Big Apple.”

 “Kingsley you know I have to stay here. It’ll be easier for me to manage the farm and be close to home”, Bea says confidently even though her body language displays otherwise. She predicted the big sigh filling her ears before it actually happened and it still managed to faze her. “Who ever said you had to do anything? What about what you want to do?” Bea doesn’t make eye contact with Ina, that woman could convince you to do just about anything with a certain look. “No we are not doing this. You can take your reverse psychology and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine. I’m outta here.” The blonde stomps out of the classroom, the sound of Ina’s chuckles still ringing in her ears.

 “Hey! Everyone in this town fears God, but you know what God fears? My ability to hide a bottle of Don Julio in my left boot.” Ina pulls out the newly bought bottle and cradles it. “Come to mama.”

 ***

 Bea rode her bike alongside the dirt road, Kingsley’s words on replay the entire ride. Maybe she did deserve to experience something more than what this town had to offer. But would her mother manage without her? Sacrifices, sacrifices. Bea was used to making those for her mother after her father’s death. What would her dad think of all of this?

 “Hey!”

 He’d surely smack Bea upside the head for the little antics she pulled occasionally. And then he’d buy her vanilla coconut ice cream and ask for every single detail of what happened as they sat and laughed together. That’s the kind of relationship Bea would have had with her father, she liked to assume so. She also liked to assume that she’d get home safely everyday without a scratch, but then there’s Carter.

 “Hey wait up!” 

 The jock seemed to be running ridiculously fast and crashed right into the rear end of Bea’s bicycle, sending her face first into a mount of dirt. The initial impact was enough to boost the blonde straight back up like nothing happened and into a fighting stance, fists out and eyes wild. Very scary Bea. When she realized it was him...well it only pissed her off even more. “What the fuck Carter! You asshole!”

 “I’m sorry Bea! Here let me help-”

 “No! Move away! You- my bike- I…” Bea groans frustratingly, stepping away from the wreck as she tries to catch her breath. Carter watches her sheepishly, rubbing an envelope between his fingers awkwardly. After a few minutes of painfully uneasy silence he speaks up, “Okay...I didn’t want to ask you this way but I was wonder-”

“Oh, so you practically break my ass and now you want me to do you a favour? Real nice way of communication you have there Mr. Quarterback. What is with you and those freakishly large muscles anyways? Maybe it’s my fault I didn’t hear your avalanche built ass coming from behind.”

 “Hey! They are not freakishly large!”

 “I hate to break it to you Jackson but mine are significantly more appealing to look at.” Bea smirks widely, flexing her arm as best as she could. It’s a work in progress… just bare with her.

 It didn’t take much effort for Carter to break out into a smile and look at her fondly. Maybe there was more to this girl than just being a human dictionary. Well that’s what people called her, and he maybe believed it at first.

 Bea noticed the lack of response and shifted awkwardly, clearing her throat. “Listen, its $10 for three pages, $20 for three to ten, I'm not in the over-ten-page biz.”

 “No..no I’m not here to cheat!” Carter blurts out. “But I’ll let you know if I do plan on- anyways. I uh..” He hesitates before handing her the envelope. “What’s this?

 “Well you see it’s a letter..”

 “Yeah but who writes letters these days?”

 “I thought it seemed romantic..”

 “And I thought women writing Jeffrey Dahmer letters in jail seemed romantic”, Bea says sarcastically, her smile dropping instantly after catching a glimpse of Poppy’s name at the top of the paper. It was like the blood stopped flowing through her body for a few seconds as her mouth went dry. This had to be the work of the so-called God everyone praised in this town, or it was one cruel coincidence. Bea wasn’t sure why seeing her name made her heart beat ten times harder, but it also wasn’t a necessarily uncomfortable feeling…

 “I- I can’t help you.”

 “But if you just add a few more words-”

 “I’m not writing a letter to Poppy Min Sincla- to..to some girl for you. Letters are supposed to be authentic, from the heart, your own words, your...feelings.” Bea hurriedly turns to grab her bike, suddenly losing all interest in being social. 

 Carter was afraid this would happen. But he was stubborn. “But I can pay more for authentic!” 

 Too bad Bea was stubborn as well. “Just get a thesaurus...Good luck, Romeo.”

***

 Bea sat in her room, strumming away softly at the strings of her guitar. Some of the keys were off but the old thing still worked, and that was good enough for her. She could hear the tv blasting downstairs, her mother most likely watching the news. There’s something about old people and news, were they secretly ogling the news anchors? Just like Bea ogled Poppy any chance she could. The blonde frowned to herself, her eyebrows crunching together in question. What so hard about writing a letter to Poppy? It’s not like it's coming from her. Well it technically is, but Carter is taking the credit and Bea never had a problem with people taking credit for her words. So why did this very thought prove to be such an inconvenience? Lucky for Bea, her mind drifted elsewhere when she heard a painful snap. Even if it wasn’t physically connected to her body, she felt a horrible ache. Slowly peering down at the guitar in her hand, Bea found that the neck of the guitar had miraculously split almost clean off, a splinter of wood just holding it intact. She wanted to scream but nothing really came out, except air of course. Much to her disapproval, this was definitely a result of her strength. Stupid muscles couldn’t contain themselves at the thought of Carter being with Poppy. Now how could that be? 

 But now she had no guitar. And no guitar means no strings to strum, and no lyrics to sing, and no talent to show at the talent show. Now she was in trouble. Probably because she knew that the only way to get the money to replace the guitar would be through sealing the deal with Carter. Oh fuck it!

 ***

 “One letter. And enough money to buy a new guitar.”

 “Deal!”

 Bea turns away with a sigh, completely ignoring Carter’s high five. Now all she had to do was write this letter, and pray that Poppy wouldn’t completely consume every fiber of her being in the process.

                                 -------------------------------------------

End note: So how we feelin’? Carter and Bea Brotp??

Tags: @samanthadalton @somewillwin @clowneryme @baexpoppy @zigxryanz @uselesslesbianfr @aleiramacaii @thedaft1 @alexlabhont @iamsimpforpoppy

[willow-salix]

How about I throw out a new chapter?

That'll be nice for a Saturday, right?

Meh, have one anyway.

Here's a snippet:

Selene grabbed a slice of pizza from the box on the table and dropped down onto the couch next to Gordon, uncaring as to the fact that he was barely dressed. When you watched him dive in and out of the pool in his Olympic issue swimming speedos just because he felt like it, you were pretty much desistized to anything.

She took a bite and made a face, it wasn’t the best pizza she’d ever had, not that that would stop her, she started to chew. Tonight was definitely the time for comfort food and pizza, even when bad, is still pretty good.

“Why are you in my flat?” she asked around a mouthful. She chewed some more and swallowed quickly when she saw the look on his face. “Not that I mind you letting yourself in, you know you’re always welcome. But I thought you were with Penny for the whole weekend.”

Gordon shrugged casually, but his eyes flickered towards the discarded pile of clothes on the floor beside the couch. It looked like one of his new suits and really shouldn’t have been treated in such a way. The jacket was scrumpled in a ball and the pants left where they had fallen, the shirt lay tossed over the arm of the couch and the shoes had been kicked off haphazardly, one lying under the table while the other had flown clear across the room to land by the dresser.

“Didn’t feel like it once I got there, I left Penny to her networking and caught a cab back here as I wouldn't have been able to get into the manor.”

Selene scowled, that wasn't like him, he was one of the more social Tracys and, since he was still relatively young, he usually jumped at the chance to spend time off island if he could. A party or a dinner was usually greeted with great enthusiasm. She decided to ignore that for now, he'd tell her in his own time. Years ago she would have pushed him more, but now they all knew her well enough to know that she was there to listen whenever they needed her and would seek her out if they wanted to.

"How was the conference?" she asked instead, swiping his bottle of beer, one of John's he had obviously liberated from the fridge, and taking a sip. "You must have been so excited to be asked to speak."

Again he shrugged. "It was OK, I'm pretty sure they only asked me out of courtesy for Penny and because it looked good to have someone from International Rescue on the schedule. It was pretty boring really."

"Why did you say yes then? It's not like you don't have a good excuse to get out of anything you don't fancy."

"Penny said it would be good for me to start making a name for myself, she's right, I'm not getting any younger-"

Selene snorted at this, Gordon was only 26, he had his whole life ahead of him. Although, if anyone knew that your life could be changed or even snuffed out at any moment, it was Gordon, so she kept quiet.

"She said that I should start thinking about my long term plans. We can't be doing International Rescue full time forever and, while we do have enough money to never have to work, you know we'd all get bored. Everyone else seems to have a backup already, John does his remote lectures and writes his books, and you know that he's always being called on to consult or collaborate with someone for something or another. Virgil has that fancy engineering degree of his, he's always tinkering around with Brains and the things they invent together could keep them busy for years to come. Alan is all fresh and new, he's already making a name for himself online with his team ups with Brandon, and Scott could walk into a job with the air Force or the GDF without even pausing to ask, then there's me, no college education, no specialist subjects-"

"Bullshit," Selene cut in. "A college education isn't for everyone, just because you don't have a piece of paper doesn't mean you aren't smart or an expert in your field. Someone once told me that, because I didn't have that kind of higher education I wasn't as smart as them, that I wasn't capable of making decisions because I didn't have the same knowledge they did. But knowledge is subjective, babe."

Gordon snorted at that, he knew what it was like too, he knew how people would judge him as the dumb brother because he'd chosen a different path than the more academic one the others had taken.

"It's true," she insisted. "Look at John, as much as I adore that man, he's proof that all the book smarts in the world can't always compare to common sense or life experience. You can know all about astrophysics but if you don't know how to interact with people or how to survive in the world then you're fucked either way. You are amazing, you know science and biology and genetics or you wouldn't have made those beautiful fish or done so much for marine conservation and, no matter who you're dating, the Friends of the Ocean yearly conference would not have let you speak if you didn't know your shit."

"I know," he sighed, "but it doesn't always feel that way, you know?"

"Oh, believe me I know," she rolled her eyes and reached for another slice of pizza.

"I guess it's just hard to be surrounded by such high achieving brothers. I look at Penny and I think what is she doing with me? She would be much better suited to someone like Scott, or John, you know."

"I'm pretty sure that Cat and I would have something to say about that. Besides, look at me and John, it's not like anyone would put us two together. On paper we shouldn't work at all, we're far too different. Yet we do. You can't help who you fall in love with."

Gordon's eyes slid sideways to watch her, the tone in her voice telling him that she wasn't just talking about his brother at that moment. There was something there that spoke of past experiences that didn't hold good memories for her.

He frowned, a thought occurring to him, one that he just had to voice.

"Sel, why are you here? You don't have any clients booked, I know because you said that was why Scott had to drop me off, because you weren't heading back for at least a week."

Selene kept quiet, her eyes on her pizza slice. This wasn't like her, she usually needed to be prised off his brother and dragged away kicking and screaming. She liked to spend the majority of her time on the island with them even if John wasn't home.

"Did something happen?" Gordon's voice was quiet, comforting, not pushing her to speak but inviting her to confide in him if she wanted to.

"I just needed some space, some time alone," she finally admitted, still not looking at him as she fiddled with the crust of her pizza.

"Oh, do you need me to go? Sorry, I know I should have asked but I didn't know where else to go and I couldn't really face the questions back home." Trust him to burst in and make himself a nuisance when he wasn't welcome, it seemed to be the story of his life.

"No, you're fine," she assured him, patting his bare knee. "I get it. I don't need space from you, just your idiot brothers."

"Which ones, I have a lot," he grinned, relaxing a little now that they were back on more familiar territory.

"John and Scott."

His eyebrows rose at this. Scott he could understand, but she never needed time away from John, in fact she was always complaining that she didn't get enough.

"I walked out on my husband," she whispered, the slice of pizza hanging limply from her fingers. "He was upset and so was I but I left him, I walked out."

Gordon could not have been more shocked if she had suddenly grown a fishtail and whacked him in the crotch with it.

"Tell me what happened," he said, it wasn't a question, it was a silent demand, showing him to have the same authority that his father had, just in a more laid back package.

She didn't want to talk, she didn't want to drag it all up again now that she had finally calmed down from her breakdown at ten thousand feet. She didn't want to start thinking about it all again, but Gordon was there, all endearing face and big brown eyes that implored her to talk to him, to trust him. Maybe he wouldn't judge her too harshly, maybe he would understand. She risked a glance his way, seeing the firm set to his jaw, letting her know on no uncertain terms that he was not prepared to let this go.

"John punched my ex-fiance in the face and broke his nose," she answered, knowing she had no other choice.

OK, if he had thought her last statement was shocking this little revelation shot it into orbit.

"He…what? John? My brother John?"

"Yep, with the other dumbass tagging along for good measure apparently."

"OK, OK, give me a second to get my head around this, I need to process. My brother, the one that is usually so against violence of any kind, straight up punched your ex?"

Selene nodded.

"Come on, surely you aren't pissed off at him for that? He must have had a good reason for it!"

"Well, Nathaniel isn't a good guy at the best of times..."

"Nathaniel? I don't know about him."

Selene frowned, glancing his way again. Was he being honest with her right now, did he really not know? Surely if Penny knew then she would have told Gordon too?

“Penny didn’t tell you?” she asked, needing to clarify.

“One thing to remember about Penny is that she's very good at keeping secrets and knows how to keep things close to her chest. She only ever tells what she thinks you need to know,” he chuckled lightly but to Selene's ears it lacked his usual humour, sounding a little flat. “So, spill, I’m all ears. You know that a problem shared is, well maybe not a problem halved but at least you won’t be suffering on your own.”

Selene smiled softly, he really was the best boy. She'd admit that if she had to pick someone to open up to and talk to about her problems, Gordon probably wouldn’t be at the top of her list, but in times like these he reminded her of just how awesome he really was. It was easy to forget that he could be serious, it often got lost in the bad jokes and his general enthusiasm for life, but that didn't mean that he wasn't as dependable as the others.

"It's a long story."

"I've got time," he gestured down to his almost naked self and the half eaten pizza. "Not like I'm going anywhere."

Selene paused, did she really want to dredge it all up again? The answer was no, but, whatever Nathaniel did as retaliation, and there was no question that he would, was bound to spill over into all their lives. They would all find out sooner or later, hell, it seemed like half of them knew already, it would be better for it to come from her in her own words.

"We're gonna need more beer,” she sighed, tossing the half eaten pizza slice back in the box.

Read the rest here on Ao3 ➡