#and she went oh ur hungry aren’t u? and i’m like yeah….

[loverofallthingssmart]

ah yes. the jet lag. welcome back.

[lovelettersfromluna]

Not Strong Enough

Summary: Rule number 1 of being best friends with a vampire. Never let them drink your blood.

an: I HEAR YOU ALL YELLING AT ME IM SORRY!! This took entirely too long to get to you guys, but it’s here now! Better late than never right?? Is this heavily inspired by twilight? Yes. Did I use a BoyGenius song as the title? It’s lesbian smut, obviously. Is Ellie going to be a brooding depressed vampire? Oh hell yeah. I hope you all like this! I’m a slut for anything supernatural so this was obvi very fun for me to write. As always, love you all so so much! Thanks for reading 🤍

Warnings: SMUT!!, MDNI!!, scissoring (if ur mad I’m doing another scissoring fic….idk what to tell you it’s hot), messy kissing, Ellie bites reader (outside of blood sucking), mentions of marking, mentions of bruises, mentions of blood, Ellie is kind of insufferable for a small bit but I promise it gets better, please lmk if I missed anything!

Read part 1 here!!

Ellie knew it was a bad idea from the very beginning.

She knew that she was too weak for you, even outside of sucking your blood. You were too fucking good for her, too much of a dream for Ellie to go and fuck up like she did.

Truth be told, Ellie expected all of it. She expected to get utterly addicted to you, she expected the blurred lines of your relationship to become even more blurred when she began sucking you dry of your life source, she even expected herself to lose control when she was in the act, humping and grinding your soft body like a wild fucking animal as if she had no control over herself.

She expected all of it, every single aspect that came with the territory, she knew was coming.

But the hardest part of it all? Was leaving you completely.

Because she knew the moment she felt herself lose control while she was on top of you that night in your apartment, she knew she needed to leave you. She needed to abandon you and your friendship for the greater good, for your sake.

Ellie knew that she wasn’t good for you, and you weren’t good for her. But that didn’t make the pain of not seeing you any less.

She thought she’d be able to do it at first, but the texts from you only reminded her of how much she loved your company, how obsessed she was with simply being around you.

She wound frown every time her phone went off, a low groan leaving her lips when she lifted it up to look at her screen, only to see it was from you.

Ellieeeeee

Where are you?

Haven’t seen u in the longest :((

Ellie can practically hear your pout in the way you text her. She knows you too well, and she knows that you aren’t handling her sudden disappearance well.

At this point, it’s been about two months since Ellie has seen you last? Maybe three? She stopped keeping count because it was driving her insane. It wasn’t even the blood supply that she missed, Ellie would go hungry ten times over, dying from starvation if it meant she could be around you without feeling she was robbing you of your life, ruining things that you were meant to experience because she was too fucking selfish.

Ellie misses you, and it pains her that she hasn’t been able to have you in so long.

Well…not entirely at least. She knew she’d lose her mind entirely if she couldn’t at least be around you for a few moments, so her usual nighttime visits become a bit more frequent when she decides she can’t be around you anymore. She’s a lot more careful when she does it though, knowing how sensitive you were to her presence. It was almost unbelievable how easily you’d woken up to her in your room in the past. She doesn’t know how she’d explain things if you woke up now, not having seen her in so long. So she’s extra aware of how much noise she makes.

Seeing you sleep is almost enough to keep Ellie’s demons at bay, the ones that screamed for you, yearned for you to be by her side, to have your warm skin pressed against her much colder one.

As per usual, she’s scaling up the brick wall of your apartment building, making her way up to your bedroom like thief in the night. You continue to leave your window open every night, and it breaks Ellie’s heart because she knows you’re doing it for her, most likely hoping she slips into your window as she usually does.

It means Ellie needs to be even more careful than she anticipated.

She doesn’t even dare to sit on your bed, standing in the corner of your room as she watches your chest rise and fall. She doesn’t even breathe, scared that the sound of it will wake you.

And she desperately wants to reach out and let her fingers run along your soft skin, desperate for the feeling that you always brought her when you’re near. It makes her fists balk at her sides as she practically itches to feel you, fighting back any and every thought that she had to touch you, if even for a moment.

But she doesn’t. Instead, he stays with you just before the sun rises. She knows it’s risky, and she knows she shouldn’t do it in the event that you wake up and see her. Even if she’s fast enough to dart out of your room before you can even call her name or turn the lights on, you’re too smart for that. You’d know what was happening before she can even begin to gaslight you into thinking it was simply a dream.

She can’t help herself, not when it comes to you. Seeing you sleep satisfies the burning feeling in her chest, the one that yearns so desperately for you, it’s enough to make her knees weak. It’s almost like you’re capable of evoking the same feelings she had when she was a human, when she was weak and stupid and felt nervous around women. Until you showed up, Ellie hadn’t experienced those feelings in a long time, she’d almost forgotten about them.

You always remind her though.

Like when she’s about to leave you, knowing she’s cutting it too close to the time you’re going to wake up and start your day. Her footsteps are practically silence, even against the old, creaky floorboards of your apartment.

She’s almost out of your window, one leg outside as she plants her foot against the fire escape when she hears it. You began mumbling in your sleep, tossing a bit, clearly bothered by whatever dream you were having. While this should’ve been the clearest sign for Ellie to leave as quickly as possible before your eyes opened a bit to see her, she doesn’t. Instead, she stays sat on your window sill, simply watching as you turn to face her, eyes still closed as you pout in your sleep.

If Ellie had a heart that was still beating, she’s sure it would’ve stopped. Because suddenly your mumbling is just clear enough for her to hear.

“Ellie….” You sigh out softly, barely loud enough for the undead girl to hear, but she does. Regardless of the city waking up below her, or the sound of your ceiling fan creaking about, she hears it. It makes her frown deeply, swallowing back the intense whimper that threatens to escape and echo throughout your room.

She isn’t sure if she’s ever left your room so quickly, the girls eyes going wide as she made the familiar path down the side of your building to your side walk.

Even when she got home that night, the vampire practically breaking the front door down of her apartment to get in, she couldn’t get the sound of your voice uttering her name so sweetly, calling out for her even in the depths of sleep that you were in, tugged so deeply by your dreams, you were still calling out for her.

Ellie knew that night, that she had to stay away from her. For both your sake, and her own.

And she’s right, because you were suffering just as much as Ellie was.

Ellie’s presence was always scarce, and while it bothered you a bit before you learned what she was, it made sense. She was a creature of the night, something that seemingly only existed in storybooks, coming to life and living the strange lifestyle that she did.

But you knew immediately that this was different.

The morning after you saw Ellie last left a bitter taste in your mouth. As you woke up that morning, your neck sore with the bruises of Ellie’s lips on your skin, body far too drained and tired even after a night of a sleep that was just a bit too deep. It was similar to almost all the times Ellie had drank from you the night prior.

So, why did you feel so bad that morning?

You knew that you didn’t owe Ellie anything, that you were the one to suggest this in the first place, so there truly wasn’t any room for you to be upset for reasons unknown. What were you even supposed to say to her? That you had a weird feeling? One that you desperately wanted her to relieve by telling you it was all okay?

As much as you wanted to, you knew things between you and Ellie weren’t like that.

You were her friend. You were just her friend, and as much as you wanted more, you knew deep down that if Ellie truly wanted you that way, she would’ve made you she’s a long time ago.

And maybe that’s what bothers you the most when this little dry spell occurs, because the sudden lack of her presence leaves you entirely too much time to dwell on things, wondering what it was that you did wrong, what you could have possibly said to create this sudden rift between the two of you.

Ellie had always been flirtatious, flashing that pretty smile in your direction that made you weak in the knees, calling you sweet names that made your heart beat faster. She was practically dangling it all right in front of your face, the frequent touches, the late night visits at the foot of your bed, all this time when you have her the benefit of the doubt, chalking it all up to her simply wanting to see you and nothing more than that, suddenly made no sense to you.

With time came confusion, and with confusion came anger, desperate to understand why she left you, what you had done to possibly make her so scarce so suddenly. And once the third month had hit without seeing Ellie, you were furious, feeling as though you had one choice and one choice only.

To find Ellie, and get the answers from her yourself.

You don’t go to Ellie’s apartment, not usually at least.

Ellie always told you she liked hanging out at your place, going on and on about how warm and cozy it was being there. She’d never admit it to you because she didn’t want you to think she was a freak, but being in a place that smelled so heavily like you made her brain go absolutely insane.

You’ve been there maybe a handful of times, sometimes heading to her place after a night out, or even stopping by whenever you were in the neighborhood. Bottom line was, your apartment was the designated hang out spot for you and Ellie.

Regardless though, you remember how to get there like it’s written on the back of your hand. You thought about Ellie’s apartment a lot, loving how much the space reflected her. You always wished you had the chance to stay there more often.

You can’t think about that though, not now. Not when you’re storming down the expensive halls of her complex down to her door, and landing a heavy fist on the door. All you can truly care about now, is seeing Ellie and demanding an explanation for her sudden disappearance.

And it’s all so unlike you, so out of your character. If it was anyone else, you’d let it go, giving yourself a few days to sulk before forgetting about it all together and simply moving on. Maybe it’s because it’s Ellie, and maybe it’s because you feel a tad bit used after being her personal buffet for the last few times you’d been around her, just for her to up and leave.

It’s most definitely that. You just don’t want to admit it in fears of sounding selfish.

You land another firm knock on her door when she doesn’t answer in time, feeling yourself grow angrier as the moments pass.

Soon, she’s finally opening the door. The image of her nearly takes your breath away.

Because Ellie always looks beautiful, perhaps it’s the fact that you haven’t seen her in some time, but she looks fucking ethereal standing before you. So tall, so confident, her eyes so fucking dark, piercing through your very soul as she stares down at you. Her lips look like rubies compared to her cold, pale skin, so plump and kissable.

All you can think about is the way they felt pressed against your throat, and it makes you lift your hand to press against the two small circular scars on your neck.

Ellie frowns deeply as she eyes you, eyebrows furrowed and expression virtually unreadable.

“What are you doing here” she mumbles out, shifting on her feet awkwardly. Her question alone sets the fire off in your chest again, making you seethe as you take a deep inhale before responding.

“Are you kidding me Ellie?” You practically spit out, staring up at the girl in disbelief.

She lets out a soft sigh, her tattooed hand coming up to rub her face roughly before it moves up to rub through her hair.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” she manages before she tries shutting her door in your face. “You can’t be here” she mumbles out softly, the girl fully expecting to be able to shut the door.

You however, have other plans.

You’re quick to press your hand against the door, stopping her from closing it before you practically force yourself between it. Ellie’s eyes widen a bit at this, not used to seeing you so forward.

Soon, you’re pushing yourself into her apartment, your palm pressing against your forehead as you began pacing back and forth Ellie’s lavish apartment.

“I don’t…I don’t understand you Ellie. Is it something I said? Did I do something? If so please enlighten me I beg you” you blurt out, all of the words fumbling out of your mouth in one breath.

Ellie frowns deeply as she watches you pace back and forth her apartment, her eyebrows furrowed. She can truly see the damaged shes caused when she sees you like this, because it was much easier to watch you when you slept, so peaceful and unaware of the troubles that came with her absence. She knew you were going to blame yourself, and as much as she knew she couldn’t allow you to do that to yourself, she knew staying away was even more important.

Seeing you like this was possibly the hardest thing Ellie had to ever endure.

You don’t stop there, taking advantage of the lack of a response from Ellie to continue ranting.

“Is it because of the blood thing? If so I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry for simply caring enough to make sure you didn’t die from starvation or whatever it is that happens to you when you don’t eat. I’m sorry for making sure that you were okay, if that was so wrong please tell me…” your words trail off as you let out an exasperated sigh, your feelings and emotions becoming far too much as you practically sob out to her.

But then you’re pausing, your chest rising and falling quickly as you struggle to catch your breath. Ellie isn’t entirely sure why you’ve suddenly stopped, your back towards her as you stand there, doing god knows what.

When you finally turn around, your eyes are red and your cheeks are wet with tears.

“Were you just….using me? As your personal fucking blood bag?” Your words are shaky as you hold back another sob, your fists balled down at your sides.

Ellie freezes when you say this, because this is exactly what she was fucking afraid of.

It was a common theme throughout…her people. Vampires were notoriously alluring, seducing countless innocent and clueless victims into being their personal meal. The humans were almost always oblivious to what was being done to them, vampires often times using this to their advantage to keep them under their spell for as long as possible. It would most commonly been done in a way that made the humans believe the vampires loved them, dangling them by a thread as they promised them a life of eternity together, to live in immortality, side by side until the end of times. It almost never ended that way though, the vampires would suck and suck and suck until one day they went a bit too far, and their obedient human keeled over and died.

Ellie never wanted things to be that way with you.

She never even wanted you to think it was that way. She wanted you to understand that this was entirely up to you, and it could stop whenever you wanted it to. It’s why she constantly voiced to you that this was still a factor right before she fed off of you. Ellie would rather die than use you for a source of food, because truthfully you were far too good for that, too fucking pure to be used as something as low as a food source.

So when the words leave your lips, Ellie sees red.

Shes in front of you in less than a second, towering over you and staring down into your tear soaked eyes. Her nostrils are flared as she tries to hold back from tearing down her entire apartment complex around the both of you.

“You can’t possibly be stupid enough to think I’d ever use you for something so low..” her voice is low, and there’s a gravel in it that makes your core tighten and your chest bloom with something you can’t quite place, a feeling that can only be shelved in your mind right next to where Ellie takes place.

You don’t hack one, hot tears continuing to spill from your eyes as you stare at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“It makes sense….get your fix and then leave me like I’m nothing…this was probably your plan all along” you grit out.

Ellie licks her lips, knowing that you’re hurting just as much as she is, and your words are simply coming from a place of confusion, desperate to understand why she did what she did to you, why she left without a trace.

She leans in, her face a mere inches from yours. You can smell her minty breath wafting onto your face, and it’s bizarre because even that has a slight chill to it. It makes your cheeks cold, and it makes you want to reach out and warm her up.

“I would rather die a million deaths before using you for that…you and I both know this” she seethes out.

And it makes you whimper, because Ellie’s always been so fucking intense, so poetic. It makes your insides flip upside down, and your eyebrows knit together as you struggle to hold back a whimper.

Your features soften as you continue to cry in front of her. “Then why did you leave me…” you whisper out to the girl.

It breaks her heart how desperate you are for this. Not even for her, but simply for answers. All you want is to understand why she left, what you did to make her abruptly disappear without a single word.

Ellie’s eyes flutter shut for a moment, her pink tongue darting out to lick her plush lips before she finally speaks.

“I’ve never…been so weak for someone…in my entire life” she breaths out.

It surely isn’t what you’re expecting her to say. You think she’s going to say she’s gotten enough of you, or she just couldn’t handle having someone like you around. Hell, you were even beginning to think she was trying to cover up all her roots here and start somewhere else.

“I always have been…from the moment I fucking laid eyes on you, I knew you weren’t good for me…you’re too good for me” she continues, her eyes fluttering open as she finally stares down into yours. You can finally look into yours as you blink away the tears that are pooling in your eyes and blurring your vision, and it allows you to see the pain in her eyes, just how much she’d been struggling with all of this.

“It isn’t even your blood…it made it worse, yes…but just being around you is like…it’s like a fucking drug to me. You give me this feeling that I can’t…I can’t even begin to describe how fucking euphoric you make me feel” each of her words sounds like a plea, a plea for you to let her go, to unhand her from the death grip you have on her.

“And suddenly I’m always in your apartment, and you’re offering yourself to me and it’s like a dream come true and I feel like a fucking monster when I’m on top of you, sucking you dry of your fucking blood” it’s her turn to start pacing, running her hands through her hair as she settles one of her hands on her hip, she moves slower than you were, simply voicing the struggles she’s seemed to have with you from the moment you met.

She finally turns towards you, and she’s slowing make her way to where you’ve been standing this entire time. When she’s right back where she was, stood right in front of you, she takes your hand into hers ever so gently. It’s enough to make you flinch, how cold she is in contrast to your hot skin. She sighs, bringing your hand up to cradle her cheek, and her eyes flutter shut, nearly rolling back as she presses a soft kiss to your palm.

“I’m not strong enough for you…I don’t think I ever will be” she finally admits, and it’s like she’s not only admitting it to you, but to herself as well.

You hold back a whine as she kisses your palm, her lips so soft, so gentle with you.

“Then…then don’t be…why can’t you just let things happen” you sigh out as you stare up at her, in awe as the girl leaned into your touch as if it were her life line.

You aren’t even entirely sure what you’re asking her for, what this so called ‘thing’ is that she won’t let happen. Is it the feeding you’re alluding to? An act of true platonic kindness? Or are you asking for more, are you begging for something that Ellie has deprived you both of for the sake of the greater good?

Both you and Ellie have these same questions running through your minds.

She chuckles dryly against your skin, shaking her head as her hand gives your wrists a gentle squeeze.

“You aren’t even sure what it is you’re asking for…not from someone like me” she admits, eyes opening as she finally looks down at you again.

“I can’t…give you the things you deserve. I’m not capable of being the perfect person for you, not when I am what I am” her words are like venom on her tongue, the girl utterly disgusted with the monster that she became against her own will, the hell that she was forced to live over and over again with no foreseeable end.

“The only thing I can do, is take from you…I take and take and take….” Her words trail off, a soft frown on her lips before she finally looks at you once again.

“Until I’ve taken everything that you have…and there is no more of you to offer” she whispers out, as if the mere thought of a world without you pains her so much to say, she barely wants to say it.

You lick your lips, your eyes searching hers before you quickly shake your head.

“Do you want me? The same way that I want you?” You question carefully, fearful of what it is that she might say, worried that you’d been reading things entirely wrong, even after Ellie basically confessed how utterly obsessed she is with you.

She smirks softly, humming lowly as she gently brings your hand down to her lips, pressing another gentle kiss to it.

“It’s like I’ve waited my entire life for you, baby….saying that I want you would be an understatement” she chuckles out softly.

And you aren’t entirely sure how it even gets to this point, because you marched over to Ellie’s apartment with a purpose, that purpose being to yell at her and get the answers you deserved. But suddenly you’re standing in front of her, and your heart is exploding with so many different emotions and feelings, all of them for Ellie, and she’s just confessed to you that she wants you like you want her.

And you have no choice, but to kiss her.

It catches Ellie off guard, a soft whine leaving her lips as accepts your lips with gratitude, her arms moving down to drape along your waist as she pulls you closer.

It’s everything she’s ever dreamt it would be. Your lips soft and sweet against her own, your skin so warm and inviting, making her drink you up, fueling her with the warmth she’s lacked since the day she died. But despite how good it feels, she knows this is wrong, and it goes against everything she said she’d do for your sake.

Ellie breaks way first, watching as you struggle to catch your breath from the intense kiss. She’s quick to stop you from leaning in again, her hand cupping your face as she stares into your eyes.

“Angel…we can’t…I told you, I’m no good for you” she sighs out, the words paining her to even say.

You give her a soft pout, your arms wrapping around her shoulders loosely as you press your warm body against hers.

“I trust you Ellie….I know that you’d never hurt me” you sigh out softly as you stare into her eyes, your hand coming up to tuck a strand of her soft hair behind her ear.

“We don’t have to do the blood thing…but I just…can’t we just give us a try?” Your eyes are wide as you speak, eager to feel Ellie’s lips against yours again, even if for a moment. You don’t even take into consideration that she could say no, that she could turn you around and throw you out of her apartment without another word, doubling down on what she said she’d do with you.

But as Ellie said before, she’s just too fucking weak for you.

And hearing you ask for it, ask for her, it has her stomach in knots, and she feels like no matter what it is you ask her, she couldn’t possibly say no to you.

“What are you doing to me…” she sighs softly before she leans in to kiss you again, reciprocating the passion and heat that you gave her mere moments ago. You whine against her, your hands sliding back to tug at her hair, keeping her close as your lips moves against hers, your warm tongue sliding against hers.

“Missed you so much…” you sigh against her, and it makes Ellie groan softly as she nods, hands sliding down to grip your waist as she walks you back towards her bedroom, lips never leaving yours.

“Missed you more than anything, angel” she mumbles against your lips as she presses her palm against her bedroom door behind you, pushing it open and leading you further inside.

Ellie’s bedroom smells like her. It’s dark, and cold but oh so comforting. You practically sigh against her lips when you feel her laying your body down against her black silk sheets, the expensive material like butter on your skin. It makes your senses go in overdrive, Ellie’s hands caressing your skin, roaming around your body as her tongue rubs against yours in a dirty, passionate kiss.

“Don’t know how long I’ve waited to have you like this…” she sighs softly, her lips breaking away from yours to kiss along your jaw, down to your throat. You don’t miss the way Ellie kisses the now faded marks of her teeth on your neck, licking the skin softly before she sucks into it, sure to leave dark marks in the morning.

“Missed marking you up baby….” She hums against you, drinking in the sweet moans that leave your mouth, the sound alone like music to her ears.

Your mind is fuzzy, almost blank besides the thoughts of Ellie that stood in the forefront of your brain. It was like she was filling you up entirely, making you almost overwhelmed with her. Her scent, her cold skin, her soft hands, all of it was almost too much, a combination of sensory overload that kissed your skin so deliciously.

Soon she’s kissing down your body, practically worshiping her as her lips work on your soft skin. Her hands are pushing up your t-shirt, kissing your stomach and your ribcage until she’s tugging you up a bit to skillfully slip your shirt over your head. You’re bare before her, her lips matching onto your pebbled nipples as her tattooed hands work on your soft shorts, tugging them down your legs.

You don’t miss the way her tongue swirls around your nipple before letting go with a pop, lips moving up to nip at your collar bone with her flat teeth. Hard enough to leave a mark, but gentle enough to not break skin.

You giggle softly, bending your legs back to help as she tugs your shorts and panties off. She’s slotting herself between your legs, humming softly as she gives you a smirk.

“Something funny baby?” She questions before leaning in to press another kiss to the corner of your lips. You nod, a dreamy smile on your lips as you bring your hand down to tug at the hem of Ellie’s t-shirt.

“Seems like old habits never die, that’s all….need this off” you huff out softly, fingers fumbling between the hem of her t shirt and the waistband of her sweats.

Ellie chuckles at how eager you are before she nods, pulling back to tug her shirt off before she rolls over a bit to pull off her sweats and underwear as well before she makes her way back between your legs, towering over you as she crawls into you like a predator would its prey.

And it leaves your pussy soaking wet, because it’s better than you could’ve ever imagined. Ellie’s tits are pebbled similarly to yours, tattoos littering her pretty skin, muscles so beautiful they could make your mouth fucking water.

You’d always seen Ellie for the beauty she possessed…but this? This was so much more different.

It made your head fucking spin.

You whined softly as you practically tug her into her by her shoulders, moaning softly at the feeling of her boobs squishing against yours as your mouth attacks her in a needy kiss.

“Want you…” you sigh softly against her as your hand slides down between the both of you, cupping her pussy. You feel Ellie suck in a sharp breath at the feeling of your warm fingers against her sopping wet core, and she gives you an eager nod before rolling over, her strong hands gripping your thighs and taking you with her as she forces you to straddle her.

Being on top of Ellie is just as good as being under her, almost better in all honesty. The lighting in her bedroom is dim, but you can just make out her features with the moonlight that spills in through her big windows, and the moody lights she has set up along her walls. You don’t even realize it because you’re too busy gawking at her, but she lifts her leg up a bit and easily slots you down so that your pussy is right against hers, the feeling making you moan softly.

“You’re so pretty Ellie…” you practically sigh out. It makes Ellie moan softly, and she swears the sound of you calling her pretty is enough to bring her back to life, reversing the effects of her undead state.

“Fuck…can’t say those things to me baby…you’re gonna…Jesus..ruin me” she struggles to get out as she grips your hips, forcing you to roll your hips so that your clit and her clit bumps against each other.

Your eyes flutter shut when you feel it. It’s so fucking wet, and soft, and it’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Sure you’d done it with other girls before, but this just feels…it almost feels like….

“Like you were fucking made for me princess” Ellie grits out, her teeth caging her words in as she fucks you down onto her pussy, practically using you for both hers and your pleasure.

You’re too far gone to pick up on it, too indulged in the feeling of Ellie’s strong hands gripping your thighs so deliciously, sure to leave marks in their shape when you both wake up in the morning.

Your back is arching almost painfully, your hand gripping her thigh as you find the rhythm Ellie has set for you, finding the perfect spot and keeping it there as you drive both you and her to your orgasms.

“I’m…Ellie you feel so good…you’re gonna make me cum” you squeak out, eyebrows furrowed as you finally look down at the girl beneath you, only to find that she’s just as much of a mess as you are. Her hair is messy and her lips look so pouty and kissable. It’s hard to make out, but her fanged teeth are pressing into her lips, and you’re sure it’s the sexiest thing you’ve seen in your entire life.

She gives you an encouraging nod, one of her hands coming to your ass and kneading it harshly before giving it a firm spank, the sinful noise echoing off the walls of her pristine bedroom.

“I know baby…I know…come on, want you to cum with me…that’s it…that’s my good girl” her praises make your chest burn, and it leaves knots in your stomach. It only drives you further, your hips moving faster as they roll against Ellie’s, desperately chasing both hers and your orgasm.

“Ellie…Ellie I’m…I’m gonna-“ you cry out, back arching as you grip her thighs quickly, feeling your own shake as your orgasm begins washing over you.

Ellie catches it right before it happens, the girl quickly sitting up and wrapping her arms around your body, pressing your chest against hers as she pulls you down to kiss her passionately, her own orgasm washing over her like a fucking train.

Your bodies are so in tune, so in sync that your moans almost mix to create a symphony that can only be described as love, total and unconditional love as her arms keep you close, as if stopping you from running away from her, from the feeling she gives you. Her lips are working against yours as you breath hard, struggling to catch your breath in the sloppy kiss.

You’re a whining mess, your poor pussy far too sensitive to deal with the amount of pleasure that Ellie brought to you, all of it washing over you like an intense sea of euphoria, nearly drowning you as you held onto the girl with weak hands.

She knows you’re weak, because she’s pulling you down to rest your warm body against her cool sheets, all while keeping her cool body pressed against yours to bring you back down to earth with her.

“That’s it baby…I know….did so good for me…” she sighs softly as she leaves gentle kisses against your cheeks and eyes, watching as the aftermath of your orgasm slowly pulls you to the depths of sleep, all of it too much on your body.

“My beautiful girl…my girl…my girl…” she hums out, almost like a song as she watches you cling to her in your sleep, soft hums and huffs leaving your lips, all of which makes Ellie smile adoringly at you as she holds you while you sleep.

And even while you’re settling into one of the deepest sleeps you’ve ever experienced, you don’t miss the soft kisses against your lips and cheeks, all paired with the constant, non stop praises from Ellie.

You especially don’t miss the way she leans in settles against the pillow next to you, mumbling the softest, sweetest words to you as her hands caressing your naked body.

“I love you, pretty girl..”

[dykevanny]

haz i know absolutely nothign about zeno rpg but ur zeno au has intrigued me and im curious about it,,, i saw smth abt like. meomory loss and being handcuffed together and ik they eat ppl but thats it 😭 explain the au if u want ig bc im interested and i think thye look so silly. also bc u put vanny n will in my brain and they wont leave im shooing them with a boom and they are not moving

OK LET ME GET THE INFODUMP<3

So ummm Zeno au<3 I’m really normal. Allow me to give a brief explanation of what Zeno is first You see, Zeno is a fictional disease sort of thing that makes people cannibals. Specifically an oneset is caused by traumatic events/extreme cases of unrequited love(specifically mostly familial) and the only cure is eating the flesh of someone else with Zeno.(not widely known.) It’s also transmittable through biting like zombies. there’s one specific facility with scientists dedicated to getting to the bottom of how to cure zeno, also housing ‘patients’ (or, people with zeno being used as lab rats). Now onto character lore.

So william and henry were good friends right. Yeah. Considering that they even have a small diner together. Well one day will got zeno (oh no!) and started slowly picking off kids going to the diner. He even accidentally attacked Charlie, who escaped in one piece luckily. Charlie went to the afton household to see if he was doing okay (because will’s like an uncle to her and all! And also what if everyone else got hurt?) only to find will ate them all oops. And yeah same happened to her, but since he transmitted zeno to Charlie he was cured! How convenient! The people in charge of the labs ended up roping him and henry into being scientists for them through shady shady means and well the two aren’t on good terms and avoid each other like the plague. Henry’s still sore over the ‘you ate my fucking daughter’ thing. Luckily he has his assistant/the archivist (tape girl) to keep him company. So Vanessa right! Crazzy I know. Nessa as we know comes from a broken family. In this specific au I’m mixing her backstory with the character who’s place she’s taking (hi kuro) so basically her parents. Neglect her. In favor of her younger sibling because she was born from her mom’s affair and blablabla… she grows up basically taking care of herself. Eventually she develops zeno and starts you know. Killing and eating random girls as you do. When one night she comes home and is confronted by her parents about this!! And well you can guess. What happens to them lol. She gets captured and taken to the zeno facility where she’s specifically studied/talked to by William! They’re funny bc nessa hasn’t had anyone willingly spend so much time around her and be so nice to her. Will … well she’s a specimen to him lol. Since being cured himself zeno has been a subject of interest to him, he’s thrown himself completely into his work (under the guise of feeling soooo guilty for his actions which henry can see right through) and well. He’s realized the consumption of human flesh has something to do with it, since eating Charlie cured him. So he’s been …. Robbing the morgue/killing people when needed to feed vanessa every time they meet. Which, she’s more docile when she’s not hungry so it kind of works but she’s not like cured you know. It has the side affect of her being hungry when it’s time for someone to chat with her though which was funny the one time henry had to go in will’s stead cause he offered her a granola bar and she was like 😐 ew.?? Anyways will has gotten her total trust because he also plays board games with her yay!! He’s the only one not enforcing the whole straightjacket-dog muzzle combo also so she’s like woah !! He sees me as another human unlike these other guys :DD (needless to say zeno patients are not treated very humanely.lol) there was also one time tape girl had to be a substitute for william but nothing of note happened they just kinda chilled and ness threatened her in a backhanded and mildly gay sort of way.as you do.

Anyway yeah so basically Henry’s been experimenting with treatment through amnesia and totally surely unrelated note at the actual start of the story, Will and Nessa wake up in a strange room with no clue who they are or how they got here, and have to navigate the now bloody and corpse-strewn facility while handcuffed together with nothing to guide them except each other and the only clue to their pasts is tampered resumes which effectively switch their backstories!! Nessa is under the impression that she’s the scientist (the whole cannibalism part was left out) and she thinks William is the serial murderer/cannibal. Which was funny cause she read her own resume like wow… I’m kind of a big deal huh :) and then read Will’s like ERM.OKAY… Will didn’t read either of the resumes. Also tape girl gave everyone code names and said code names were swapped on the resumes also! So ‘bonnie’(nessa) and ‘vanny’(will) are just kind of cluelessly walking around like damn this place is really… corpsey:) until henry starts showing up and trying to kill them (he contracted zeno big surprise) and also tape girl (assumed dead) shows up sometimes just to see how things are going. Lots of shenanigans and also murder ensue.

The game also has multiple endings so. sometimes nessa ends up killing william lol. Intestine jumprope…. … ……… Also side note.will found out it’s specifically zeno infected humans that need to be fed to patients to cure them but kinda. Didn’t cure nessa on purpose<3 because she’s sort of entirely dependent on him in this way and she’s kind of his only friend.the same way he’s her only friend……wacky wild!

Tape girl is having a fucking.day. Because henry mentioned he was going to do something but likeee. She didn’t expect to be caught in the crossfires of a HUGE MASS MURDER CANNIBAL EVENT.AS LIKE ONE OF THE 4 PEOPLE STILL ALIVE IN HERE,.. once he chilled out henry explained himself and she agreed to help out (she also decided to distribute some of her recorded notes.just for fun…after the two get separated for the first time ‘vanny’ listens to them and is like woah… i was a patient here⁉️ And bon was my unethical doctor⁉️⁉️ which is funny) but like. She is the only one NOT infected in here and would like to keep it that way so she’s having quite the time. Seeing vanessa walking around unrestrained keeps jumpscaring her LOL. Once ness’s zeno symptoms start returning well ofc will as the only one she’d encountered here who she cares about is the first target but tape girl nearly gets chomped too lol.

Zeno has an interesting affect on the subjects mood which is funny. Basically when an oneset happens and the person with zeno is running around eating people they’re in a crazed manic state which. Is really fun.will and nessa are wandering around handcufffed and he’s like uhh bonnie you okay cause her facial expressions.well they went from the example on the left to the one on the right.

It’s funny bc. The memory erasure actually technically did work… her symptoms only started returning bc she got bit LOL

Pre-the amnesia incident the other three’s interactions with vanessa were pretty.limited. Considering she’s theeee most dangerous patient. Will talks to her for like an hour daily but Henry only really knows her as ‘william’s mutt’ (he was especially not a fan when he found out will had been FEEDING HER HUMAN FLESH.) and tape girl is afraid of her but also. Kind of endeared from their two in person interactions. The second one in which vanessa tried to convince her to let her cannibalize her but hey she was very polite about it..!! Henry and tape girl are both shocked and stunned that she’s actually pretty chill when she’s not insane and eating people.

TL;DR

^these fuckheads are almost all cannibals and beating each other up forever

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[ktheist]

2prettybestfrens | jjk

muses. jeon jeongguk x reader x park jimin ft. kim taehyung

genre. strangers to lovers!au. university!au. 

words. 18.2k

drabbles. pjm

feedback.

warnings. mentions of physical insecurities, alcohol use, juul use, mention of adoption, mentions of dysfunctional families, handcuffs - lots of handcuffs, jeongguk crossdressing, too many one-sided pinings lmao 

synopsis. you’re in love with kim taehyung who’s in love with jennie kim who’s in love with professor kim namjoon. so park jimin doesn’t exactly fit in all of this, yet he’s always been there in your weakest moments which may or may not be caused by your heartbreak boy - or so jeongguk likes to call him.

oh and jeongguk? you don’t even know jeongguk until that party-gone-awry night where you end up handcuffed together to ponder on what you did.

x

when you uploaded a snapchat of your darkened room and a single teary-eyed emoji because kim taehyung uploaded one where a beautiful girl was covering her mouth while she giggled, jimin snapped back a ‘why r u awake 😬’ to which you snapped the same darkened room with a slightly different angle and a ‘just cause’. his last snap to you contained a ‘cool wanna call?’ before you dialed him up and ended up talking until 5 in the morning before bidding each other-

“well, good night then,” you’d muttered.

“g’morning,” he’d wished you back in a soft mumble and a hint of sleepiness taking over.

that happened on a friday night. on monday and for the rest of the week, you merely greeted each other in the hallway and went on your days without the inclusion of the other.

when you sat by yourself on the bench on the sidewalk of campus, under the shade of a great old tree a few feet away from your department after being left high and dry when kim taehyung’s friends asked him if he’s joining them to get mcdonald’s which he’d in turn asked if you wanted to tag along and you said you were good only because you never did well in groupies - park jimin sat down next to you, head thrown back as he squinted at the gaps of the leaves where the tiniest of sun rays managed to pass through and dot his face. blonde tresses swaying ever so softly when the wind blew past you.

“so how was finance?” he looked like he was asking the waving branches.

“eh, it was fine, professor kim’s a good teacher,” you shrugged, the sight of jennie suavely smiling and said professor shooting glances at her made you mentally vomit.

“man,” he blew a gust of air from his mouth as he ran a hand through his semi-long tresses, “were we in the same class? because all i remember was dozing off five minutes into class.”

“that’s why you should sit at the front,” you’d suggested.

it was then, did he push himself off the ground and stood up, black and white jacket pushed back as he slipped his hands into the pocket of his jeans. eyes narrowing while his tongue protruded against the inside of his cheek before he went, “you hungry?”

“starving,” you rolled your eyes before collecting your mac and holding it to your chest, bag slung over your shoulders.

the both of you didn’t go to mcdonald’s but the food tasted just as good that day at the cafe in your faculty.

when kim taehyung asked jennie if she was free friday night and the girl turned to you with an endearingly oblivious, “do we have any plans on friday?” and taehyung awkwardly but not so hesitantly corrected, “um, i mean, just you jennie,” the air, without a doubt turned tangibly tense and awkward.

“oh,” jennie’s brows knitted together as she stared at him, as though trying to spot the caption on his forehead as to why he invited only her when everyone knew you and jennie never go anywhere without the other if you didn’t have any prior engagements, “well, ___ and me are going to hang out together so yeah, i’m not free.”

you weren’t sure if she was dumb or playing dumb but you’d found out later that night, that she’d been irritated with kim taehyung’s non-considerate advancements which she’d recently noticed seemed to exclude you ‘i hate people who make plans in front of someone and not invite them’ was her exact word before she followed up with a ‘blockedt’.

but backtrack to when the tension seemed to rise higher than the sky, you were saved by jimin when he came mini-jogging towards you with that adorable boyish smile and crescent eyes, “hey, i was looking for you - you wanna walk to accounting together?”

you’d waved jennie and taehyung goodbye and gladly walked with jimin to class.

and so it goes, with kim taehyung’s eyes lighting like fireworks in the midnight sky when he sees jennie and the girl itching to make a beeline to the opposite side of where he comes from and you shooting her ‘be nice’ looks whilst park jimin pops up now and then in the most convenient time until ‘us’ no longer comprise of you and jennie but also taehyung and jimin.

so much so, some of your casual friends come to you asking for either of the boys when they seem to have something to inform them which you’re not sure why isn’t informable through text. but either way, you’ve become two best friends with additional friends.

maybe said additional friends happen to fall in the top list of cuties in the girls and gays’ books but besides kim taehyung, if you looked, like really really looked at park jimin, you concurred, perhaps he does have the right to be in said list with his unblemished, smooth skin, perfect pink lips and pretty sparkly eyes.

“what?” his lips do the thing where they curl, revealing a pair of perfectly lined white pearls.

“nothing,” you say as you find yourself third-wheeling in taehyung’s bmw with jimin at the back and the first commenting something about his older sister liking to shop at zara as well when jennie asked you if you were free tomorrow to go to the mall near campus.

“i mean i can go with you girls, i have a two-hour gap between classes,” the boy offers.

“oh,” the first laugh trickles out of your mouth without a stop switch, “you’re so cute.”

you can hear jennie snickering in the passenger seat as you turn away from the angle where taehyung could see you in the rear-view mirror, only to come face to face with jimin who seems to get your humor.

“it’s not a big deal,” taehyung shrugs, a tinge of pride in his voice.

“my man,” jimin pats said man on his shoulder, “you don’t know jack shit about women.”

“what?” the older boy asks, perplexed and quite honestly irritated for some reason - but then again, he never seems to like jimin’s quick-to-catch-on nature when it comes to any girls-related topics.

“two hours is not enough to shop, taehyung,” jennie finally decodes the long standing cipher, “we can barely explore one shop.”

by the end of her words, you’re is full out snickering like an unattractive hyena, “i thought you have a sister?”

“i do,” there’s a tinge of confusion in his tone, “she usually goes shopping with her boyfriend.”

“well, how long did it take them to go shopping?” she quizzes, sharing an amused look with jimin.

“uh,” it’s then, do you hear the sound of the screws in taehyung’s brain twisting, “she usually stays over whenever they do.”

“well, whatever you think they did after they went shopping - it’s probably not it,” jimin snickers, shoulderline jolting as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“so cute,” jennie echoes your earlier words, neck craning to look at the two other passengers in the back seat as she gives you a one-eyebrow-lifted look as if to say ‘this is the guy you’re crushing on?’

at that, you shrug, unapologetically mouthing ‘he’s cute’ - in a much different and adoring sense than the first time which jennie must’ve gotten when she shakes her head, a hopeless smile on her lips as she turns to the road again.

you were on your way to the movies then.

x

“oh my god,” jennie squeals, eyes skimming your specifically-handpicked-by-jennie-kim attire, “you look so cute!”

“only because i agreed to be your live mannequin,” you say rolling your eyes but the curl of a smile on your lips is unstoppable.

“no - because i know what kind of style suits you,” she narrows her eyes in a ‘you know i’m right’ kind of manner, “no offense, your usual style is cute too but it’s more like an... ‘i have a crush, don’t talk to me’ kind of look, you know?”

“am i wrong though?” your eyebrows rise, mimicking her ‘you know i’m right’ look.

she raises a hand, her free one scrolling through her phone as she announces, “i don’t recommend crushing on airheaded guys but you do you sis,” then she looks up, staring at you straight in the eye with the most deadpanned expression, “but if he breaks your heart, i’ll break his leg,” it’s a full, solid moment later, just as you were about to burst out laughing, does she say, “literally.”

and it’s times like these that you fear for another person’s life that isn’t yours - well, taehyung’s life isn’t just anyone’s but - as she turns back to her phone ever so casually.

but before you can fret any further, your phone vibrates, the words ‘chim’ flashing across your screen with a ‘get yo asses down’ and contrasting ‘ur chauffer awaits’ popping a second later.

“get your ass up. they’re here,” you end up saying, pushing your phone into the back pocket of your leather pants that jennie manages to convince you to put on for some unknown reason - that reason going along the lines of ‘kim taehyung’ and ‘jealousy’, but you’re not one to dwell on why one do things they do as you accept jennie’s grabby-motioned hands in request for assistance to be pulled up.

it turns out the shopping plan gets pushed to saturday where taehyung is basically spouting out how he’s a good judge for fashion and that he hasn’t gone to the mall since the semester started which to be fair, was only a month ago. 

you’re not sure how jimin ended up tagging along - the two aren’t even the bestest buddies - but someway, somehow, he always manages to get taehyung to pick him up and drop him off whenever the taller man makes plans to go out with you and jennie.

“wow,” jimin is the first to notice, mouth taking on an ‘o’ shape he basically ogles in plain daylight.

“what do you think?” jennie comes up behind you, chin resting on your shoulder as she wraps her arms around your waist then she turns to taehyung who was the last to get out of the car, “doesn’t ___ look pretty, taehyung?”

at the sound of his name rolling off the tongue of the girl he’s been pining for since he laid eyes on her, his gaze lights up - but only to meet jennie’s. one look at you and he turns back to her with the most beautiful smile, “yeah, she looks great - did you help choose the top?”

“actually,” the girl begins with a cheery tone - they’re walking a few steps behind you whilst you and jimin walk together. it’s been like that for as long as you remember, “i picked out the whole fit. it wasn’t easy though because...”

kim jennie walking side-by-side with kim taehyung whilst you with jimin whenever the two boys join you, be it whether to get to a class you all share, to go to the library to study or to get some lunch - has become a familiar view to your mutual friends. so much so, you’ve heard of a rumor going around that you’re a couple of best friends.

like literal couples. you with jimin and jennie with taehyung. thanks to that, no one would have suspected jennie’s relationship with professor kim nor would anyone see through the veil of friendly smiles and amicable conversations to be you pining over your best friend’s alleged boyfriend.

you’ve gotten used to hearing jennie and taehyung’s conversation fade into the background yet never really able to disregard the way taehyung laughs at something your best friend says or the sight of the two walking a few feet ahead with taehyung’s head almost always turned to jennie’s and the girl, oblivious, occasionally cranes her neck to look at him at the beginning of her sentence before directing her gaze to the front where she’s walking.

jennie dislikes taehyung less now, if only because he steers the conversation towards the areas of interest - which he seems to know a lot of. kudos to you for answering his ass-crack o’clock texts of ‘heyyy what kind of movie does jennie like?’s and ‘heyy you girls got any plans tomorrow?’s.

“you look great in those leather pants, by the way,” jimin’s voice makes you turn to the other boy, a boyish smile on his lips, “so let me guess,” his head tilts to the side as the dip between his thumb and index finger hooks itself underneath his chin, eyebrows knitted together in heavy contemplation, “are you going for a good girl gone bad kind of look,” a playful smile tugs on the corners of his lips, “or are you in a secret biker gang and have a biker meeting at 7?”

you lean closer to the man, hand covering your mouth as you whisper, “you didn’t hear this from me but we’re convoying to disney land. i heard it’s more magical during christmas.” 

or so you thought your whispering skills were close to perfect but a cat with brown hair pops up from next to you, eyes glinting with excitement, “did someone say christmas?!”

so you end up early-christmas shopping just because of that one word that triggers the warm-hearted-who-ness in her. and that’s how you, taehyung and jimin gets dragged from one store to another. but where your attention gets robbed with material things like-

“oh look, a snow globe with a puppy and a snowman in it!” you shake the see through globe, watching as pseudo snowflakes rain over the unmoving pupper and olaf lookalike before you sigh, “technically the snowman isn’t alive and the doggo is alone by itself in a world where nobody else can enter - and on christmas at that . oh my god, i think i’m gonna cry.”

- but jennie’s interest lies within the holiday-themed clothes. sweaters. costumers. lingerie. you name it and jennie kim tries it on.

“___ - pssst, hey,” there she goes, hiss-whispering your name as if you’re not right in front of the curtain she’s poking her head through, eyes darting around for the two boys who, last you saw, were doing the best to look interested in reindeers and candy printed sweaters.

“what, girl, what?” you whisper back, trying to peek through the gap of the curtain over her head as if you’ve never entered a changing room together.

and as if reading your mind, her bare arm that’s supposed to be wrapped with the floral cotton material of her sleeve - shoots out, hand wrapping around your wrist.

a “wha- ah-!” probably echoed off the walls and turned some heads but you’re no longer in the position to check as you find your back pressed against the wall of the cubicle and red and white lace-wearing jennie posing for you.

“so?” she beams.

“those are so cute, oh my god,” you end up his-whispering whilst trying to keep your voice low, “where did you get them? i only ever saw you checking out - and you have got to admit this - ugly sweaters!”

“girl, the lingerie section is just next to the sweaters,” her eyes seem to disappear behind her crescents as she crinkles her nose, “no but for real, you think i was gonna buy them? i just needed the boys to go away. and. they. finally. did,” she rolls her eyes, “it took awhile but kim taehyung is so persistent.”

“that’s why he’s so... cute,” you hum, eyes shutting close as the picture of the aforementioned man flashes behind your eyes. he’s looking at you with those dark eyes and he’s smiling at you with that magnetic-

“gross! get your ass out of the gutter,” a squeal hits the air as your eyes flutter open to the sight of your best friend’s contorted faces as if-

“um, girl,” you tilt your head just the slightest bit, hand on your hip while your other hand raises in a ‘hold up’ manner, “out of the two of us, you’re the one that’s gotta stop being silly and start wrapping professor kim’s willy.”

a stick of tongue out is all you’ve got as a response before she turns to her phone that’s vibrating at an alarming rate.

that’s when you feign almost-vomit, “did you - ulgh - sent him a - ulgh - nude?”

in any ordinary circumstance, she would have made faces to mimic a much ridiculous series of vomiting in response to your fake almost-vomits but when her smile tugs downwards in a disheartened pout, you practically drop all the ugly sweaters you picked out just for the sake of getting into the christmas spirit and rush over to the girl - which is only one and a half feet away.

“hey, hey, what’s wrong?” you coo as she starts blinking back tears.

“i knew it,” she huffs out a puff of air, hand fanning at her waterline, “i fucking knew it.”

in between the ‘you’re okay’s and ‘everything’s going to be okay’s on your part and jennie’s increasingly growing sobs, you manage to make out the words she blurts out. something along the lines of ‘not spending as much time as we used to’ and ‘because i’m ugly as fuck’. so you hold her tighter, fingers brushing out the potentially forming knots in her hair each time it gets into her tear stained face and gets aggressively pushed out of said face with the back of the hand. 

it’s been going on since the start of the third year - the ‘i can’t make it tonight’s and ‘sorry, i’m going to have to rain check’s. 

you’ve been a silent spectator of how your best friend’s face lights up whenever she talks about her secret affair with the youngest professor in the business faculty, how he lives up to her private swooning with the smallest ‘miss kim, how was your day’s when he met her in the hallway, ever so casually greeting one of his supposed students like any professor would and treats her to fine-dinings and became the reason why forehead kisses are her favorite kind of kiss now.

he never really tried to hide his fondness for her even at the faculty and though you knew your best friend could get anyone she wanted, you were dubious of whether that anyone actually deserved such a loving, beautiful person. nonetheless, kim namjoon seems to be the exact person who does.

“hey, look at me,” you implore, sitting cross-legged on the floor whilst your knees touch and your fingers twine together in a fingers hug, or so jennie coined the term in your first year, “you’re so beautiful.”

“you don’t mean that,” she mumbles out.

“girl, if i were to be born again and were allowed to choose how i’m going to look - i want your eyes, they like, pull people in - not gonna lie, i started talking to you because you were intimidating but also really alluring. does that make sense?” you hold up a hand when she begins to giggle lightly, head shaking in show of her disagreement.

“but when i did get to know you, you’re the sweetest, squishiest,” a protest falls from her lips as she clasps a palm over the spot on her arm that you just pinched, “person alive. and oh!” you pinch her cheeks next, chuckling at how she crinkles her nose and like the feline she’s always been associated with, “and i want your cute chubs cheeks! and your adorable nose, and your lips,” you pause for the longest moment before retracting, “okay maybe i’d want my lips but your lips are juicy too!”

she makes a sound at the back of her throat, eyes of dried tears rolling, “please, i barely have any lips.”

“i mean, they’re still kissable,” you shoot her a suggestive look, “and i know out of the two of us, one would kiss you if she’s a little bit more fruity.”

“okay, maybe you think i’m kinda pretty,” she gives in.

but that’s not enough for you,“bih, you’re a literal goddess,”

“i’m not but anyway beauty is subjective so maybe namjoon’s perspective’s changed.”

“nope - nu-uh, we can cry and just... let ourselves feel the emotion that’s been bottling up and burst at one single message but what we’re not gonna do is mope around, being sad all day because of our presumptions that someone else thinks we’re not good enough or pretty enough. because you are and i would die for you.”

she hiccups, “i don’t know if i would die for you but i’d sacrifice my first born for you.”

“ew,” you feel your nose crinkling, “no, you’re not gonna trap me with a kid - that’s a trap right there and i’m not falling for it.”

jennie ends up laughing too loudly that one of the store attendants end up kicking you out. jimin and taehyung followed suit a second later, acting like they didn’t know you two but walking towards you anyway. you’re not sure if they noticed jennie’s swollen eyes but neither mentioned anything about it. instead, taehyung suggests- “since we’re already out, you guys wanna go to chanyeol’s party?”

x

so you end up going to the party. the apartment’s too cramped for your liking but jennie’s found some mutual friends of yours that she’s dancing and laughing with. and maybe that’s why you haven’t bolted right out of the door the moment you stepped in.

jimin found some of his own friends. they’re probably not from the faculty since you don’t remember seeing them around and taehyung-

you’re not quite sure why taehyung is following you around like a lost puppy and trying to make small talks with you. internally, your heart’s doing flips but your head’s been giving out one of those obnoxiously loud sirens with lights as red as the cup you’re holding.

“...and you know, it’s pretty cool how they managed to attract foreign investors within six months of starting up their business,” taehyung is saying, the awkward shrug and eyes glued to the ground telling you that he’s not so into whatever he’s saying either.

“yeah, like, they definitely got lucky or something,” you nod in agreement.

funny how the blare of the music is barely allowing you to have a proper conversation but all you hear is deafening silence as you stand five feet apart - the kind of distance that screams acquaintances but less than friends and most definitely not lovers.

but then he stands on his two feet instead of leaning his weight on just one - and he looks at you right in the eye for the first time that night. and your stupid heart goes fluttering like the petals in a field.

“hey, i don’t wanna be a nosy or anything but,” he pauses for the briefest second, eyes slanting to somewhere on the dance floor where you think you last saw jennie and then he refocuses back to you. but you already know where his mind and soul remains, “what happened today? like, jennie’s acting off, like something’s bothering her and she’s kinda drinking more than she should and it kinda feels like she doesn’t want me around.”

it takes a moment to ponder on how much you should say before your words become affirmation and affirmation will probably lead to more assumptions and - “well, you should ask her.”

“uh, i- she doesn’t- i don’t know how - i don’t wanna annoy her, you know what i mean? and since you’re best friends, i thought maybe you’d-” he’s scratching the back of his head when you cut him off.

“there’s your answer,” you raise the half-empty cup that’s been lying undrunken in your hands, “if you’re not gonna square up and tell her how you feel, then you, my friend,” your stomach drops at the word but you manage to land a solid pat on his arm, “are going to live the rest of your live like this - wondering what the hell is going on because you’re really not sure where you stand. and i get it, confessing to someone is terrifying and depending on jennie’s answer, you might or might not be able to talk to her ever again but it’s better to get it out there. feelings are like farts, you know?” the way his brows come together in a confused what-the-hell moment, is adorable, “hold it in and you’ll feel like something’s not right and it is never going to be until you get all of it out of your system.” and with a nod and a tight-lipped smile, you leave him with a “good luck,” before wandering over to the dance floor, not sure where you’re going because jennie, lisa chaeyoung and jisoo’s not where you thought they were and the only less crowded but still suffocating part of the apartment is the kitchen where you don’t want to risk going back and seeing taehyung there, unmoving in the spot where you left him.

amid all of it, you almost get your shoulder dislocated before a hand shoots out and pulls you back on your two feet whilst you raise your cup higher in hopes to save its contents from spilling.

the man that caught you looks between you and your raised cup for two solid seconds before a grin tugs on his face and he clicks his own cup to yours, “cheers.”

“aha, yeah,” you laugh as you feel his grip on your arm loosening and you pull it back to your side like a robot, taking a sip of your nicely saved drink.

“thanks for not letting me fall,” you say a moment later, after thanking whatever deity is out there that allows you to get your first drink into the right pipe without feeling the need to cough out loud.

“no problem,” even in the poor lighting, you can easily catch the sight of pearly whites lined up perfectly amid an alluring smile, that is, before a pair of brows knit together in what seem like an unresolvable conundrum, “hey, you don’t happen to...” he pauses for the longest moment, eyes slanting to scan the crowd and making you do the same until he commands your attention back with his next words, lips curling back into the breathtakingly attractive smile as words tumble past them, “...see two pretty best friends in here, do you?”

and that’s when your interest, wherever it is, plunges straight down to the ground and into the ether, “oh,” your vision shakes as you nod repeatedly before forcing out a dry “ha ha” which isn’t meant to disguise your displeasure at all - if anything, a wave of satisfaction crashes over you when his smile falters, “yeah, that - that’s really funny,” you say plainly, smile still plastered on your face.

“o-kay,” he drags out the word for half a second, teeth clenched together in growing panic as all traces of humor fade away, “...joke too old?”

“well, let’s see,” you feel your index finger tapping your chin as you throw your gaze up to the ceiling, “i get it, tell the ugly best friend she’s ugly but in a joking way,” you shrug, “you don’t need to rub it in my face cause i know and yes it’s getting old.”

it takes a whole solid moment of blaring music and non-caring half-way-drunken college students continuing to grind against one another and this insanely attractive stranger staring at you with jaws on the ground, for you to wave a dismissive hand.

“you know what? don’t worry, jennie’s not here, thankfully or she would’ve blo-” air fills your throat and cuts you off when he frowns, “who?”, to which you raise your eyebrows, “je-” you almost choked, “jennie?”

he shakes his head the second time, bottom lip jutting out in an additional- “nope” gesture as he continues with “never heard of her,” after your “jennie... kim?”

so you go one, “kinda cute height, long hair, brunette-” he shrugs, “nope- doesn’t ring a bell,” in the middle of your, “-fierce cat-like eyes but adorable as heck personality?”

in the end he wins with a final word of, “no - nope,” after a whole solid moment of your silenced disbelieve and him drawing his pondering session to a close.

“oh,” escapes your lips before you can even register, “so - it was- like-”

“yeap,” he nods, “it was-”

“a joke?”

“a joke.”

you both announce at the same time. the tones may differ but the essence is there, leaving one to stare at the ground in shame for having snapped at a complete stranger and the other staring with unapologetic eyes.

“i’m sorry,” you finally manage to utter, shoulderline falling with your walls of pride, “i thought it was one of those micro aggressive jokes people throw around just because they can’t straight out tell someone they’re ugly-”

but the words seem to enter through one ear and go out the other when his brows begin to knit together for the nth time of the night - and in a matter of less than thirty minutes at that - when he declares before you get to properly end your sentence, “you’re pretty as hell. why did you think i’d randomly try to crack a joke to a stranger and risk pissing pants off on the off chance she took it badly... which you did. i’m sorry for pushing the wrong button.”

“oh,” but just like him, your brain short-circuits and you seem to only truly hear the first part of what he’s saying as just like any girl - you curse yourself as you - shy away from his gaze, hand going up to tuck your hair behind your ear before you slowly peek up through your lashes, “thanks,” you blink once, shrugging, “and it’s fine i get that joke a lot - i don’t usually care, i don’t know what got into me tonight.” 

but before he manages to say anything, the loudspeaker starts reverberating with the sound of someone clearing their throat and a “how’s everyone doing?” and a dismissive “alright, alright you might be wondering ‘who the eff is this guy’ right? yea, yea, i know, but-” he stops, eyes scanning the crowd for a suspenseful effect, “-but you’re gonna wanna hear this,” to which a groan erupts from the crowd, so he quickly gets to the point “don’t panic,” most of the time, that’s exactly when you should panic, “so, the police are coming.”

x

his name is jeon jeongguk and he goes to your university’s rival university. his hair is actually a shade of rich deep brown that forms wavy ends and contrasts glaringly against his sharp jawline under the fluorescent lighting which also highlights his pearly whites that remind you of bunnies when his lips curl over them when he smiles.

to think that he’s doing that now while the police officer, a man in his 40′s and on the shorter side of the spectrum is ten steps from marching up to you with a disapproving gaze on his face.

his hair falls over his face in half ringlets, an excited glint in his eyes, “he’s mad cause we’re clean.”

a guy somewhere a few people away from you is sobbing increasingly loudly with every step the officer takes before he comes to a stop in front of you, eyes skimming each faces one by one until he stops on you.

“you,” he announces before sighing deeply, “you look like a kid who wouldn’t cause trouble, why are you here?”

“uh,” the chain around your wrist feels cold but jeongguk’s pinky that’s touching yours as your thighs brush together - is warm, “i...” you pause, in search for words before settling with a disappointing confession “i don’t know,”

the officer echoes your statement with a critical emphasize on the ‘don’t’.

and because of that, you blink once, “in fact, does anyone know what they’re doing at all? if you think about it we’re just astronomical particles in this vast universe which is called the milky way,” you pause, if only squint at his sparse mustache, “why is it even called milky way? like, there’s absolutely no scientific evidence that milk exists in outer space or do you reckon the guys that named it just feels like drinking some milk while they were-”

by the end of it, a few snickers have escaped from the people you and jeongguk were caught with, the aforementioned man, having turned his head the other way as his shoulders jolt silently and it’s only then does the officer’s increasing confused expression contorts into that of a maddened bore, “keep hanging out with him and you’re gonna find yourself behind bars.”

“that hurts my feelings, detective yoo,” jeongguk confesses, forehead creasing as his uncuffed hand holds the spot on his chest where his heart should be.

the man finally shakes his head, motioning to a younger officer who looks just about your age to start unlocking everyone’s cuffs - there were a few other people you’ve never seen before dragged out of the vicinity and to the station. he speaks a moment later, “you kids are lucky because none of you are associated with the ones down the hallway - we were initially going for them. busted their asses and found over a hundred kilograms of cocaine.”

once your cuffs are off and you get your phone back, you’re fast-scrolling through the messages on the notification window before swiping up and searching for jennie’s contact. it turns out she, taehyung and jimin guessed you were one of the few who didn’t make it and waited for you near the building where the party was busted.

“oh my god,” jennie is the first to dash into your arms as if she hadn’t seen you since forever, “i’m so sorry i left you!”

“well to be fair, i left you,” you mumble, your arms banded around her waist while hers around your neck.

and just when you thought the melodrama would end when she pulls away, you find yourself staring at sparkly-eyed jennie and the most heartbreaking downturned lips, “i will never,” she pauses, “ever let you out of my sight.”

you’re exactly against that idea - after all, you’ve made plans to buy a beach house and move in together in your olden days once you’ve poiso- burried your husbands who died of a totally natural cause.

it’s only after breaking apart from a second hug, do you realize the man standing not-so-awkwardly five feet away.

“don’t mind me,” jeongguk holds up his hands, “i don’t watch much drama but i might after all this.”

“jeongguk,” you can’t help the smile that creeps up your face at his joke, “this is jennie,” then you turn to the girl who still has her arm around your waist, and you her, “jennie, jeongguk.”

“have i seen you before?” her cat-like eyes narrows just the slightest bit, as though if she tried hard enough, she’d see the pieces of moving memories that’ll somehow point out where she claims to have met him - but you don’t doubt it if they have, jennie gets invited to a lot of parties and hookups.

you should’ve known when jeongguk’s eyes sweep over you with a playful glint in them as he begins, “that’s funny because ____ here-” that from this point forward, that you shouldn’t have put your foot forward and prance at him like a predator with a secret, hand clasped against a surprisingly hard chest before your brain can register what you’re doing.

and when it does, you’re left to awkwardly pat his chest in what you hope to be friendly gesture whilst you force out a laugh, “that- that was really funny jeongguk,” you turn to jennie who, having known you all your life easily catches onto your out-of-character laugh but says nothing, so you point at the guy you’re basically and is still groping - to which you’ve finally tear your hand off his body, “he’s a funny guy.”

“and who exactly is this funny guy?” taehyung comes up on your left - you think you catch sight of his sleek bmw parked on the other side of the street where he must’ve strutted up from in his beige jacket with his hands buried in its pockets.

“just...” you trail off before your brain completely fries and you blurt out, “some guy.”

and that’s when jeongguk decides to call you out, “some guy? i helped you through a life lesson.”

you attribute the alcohol in your system that’s slowing down the neurons and disables you from thinking before you act when you roll your eyes, “in case you didn’t realize, you were in there laughing your ass off when i had to have my own back while that officer looked like he was a word away from dragging me to the police station for talking back to a law enforcement.”

“you talked back to an officer?” jennie chirps, her jaw falling to the ground as her cat eyes widen in excitement and astonishment.

“she did,” jeongguk nods at the girl, a displaced proud smile on his lips before he looks back to you, “brought out the boomer in him too.”

“you pissed off an officer?” this time, it’s jimin who pops up from behind taehyung, before casually nodding to jeongguk with a “hey man.”

“i mean, it was probably ___’s sheer guts and rebellious streak alone that helped free us,” jeongguk goes on, eyes glinting with amusement in the briefest moment they slant to meet yours but they’re gone too soon as he redirects your attention to jimin and jennie’s overpouring questions.

and because jennie wanted to hear more about how jeongguk embellished what went down, taehyung ends up agreeing to give the stranger a ride as you get squished between two men with jennie constantly pulling on the strap of the seatbelt to look over to the backseat, her mouth constantly dropping with every word jeongguk utters like he’s some well-known storyteller.

by the time the car rolls to a stop in front of his apartment building, jennie’s shooting you approving, borderline provocative looks your way - you don’t doubt that if she had any power in her hand to put both you and jeongguk in the same room, lock the door and swallow the key, she would in a heartbeat.

“hey,” jeongguk leans over the doorframe, “can i talk to you for a sec?” it’s the way he tilts his head to the side on a 35 degree angle, paired with that dangerous smile he’s been shooting you in the briefest span of moments jennie’s head is turned to the road and jimin’s gave is thrown outside of the window and taehyung isn’t stealing glances from the rear-view mirror - that makes you want to shake your head in rejection to his request and prance out of the car like a predator in heat at the same time.

but instead, you calmly slide over to the side now vacant side and slip out of the car, closing the door behind you so no ears can eavesdrop.

the scent of his cologne wafts stronger into your senses now that you have no police officers to be cautious of nor any embellished stories to correct.

that, or maybe it’s the way he’s got you trapped against the car door and his body, right arm placed perfectly on the roof of the car, next to your head.

“bout time you give me your @, no?” the corner of his lips tilts higher into a cocky smirk.

“um, yea,” you begin, “i think it’s better if we leave into the night like strangers with stories, you know? and if we’re meant to find each other, we will,” you swear on your grandmother’s grave that you will never go to any parties anymore, “makes a good plot for a drama,” eyes going wide and mouth taking on an ‘o’ shape, you continue, “didn’t you say you were gonna start watching those?”

 his shoulderline shakes as he chuckles, head dropped it tilts up, eyes capturing yours, “i’m not falling for that,” his announcement is plain and simple and yet you’re forced to put twice the effort in your smile as to not let it falter, “after getting my chest groped and caressed, i deserve at least-”

“it was a friendly pat, mind you,” you correct, smile still glued to your face before rolling your eyes, “but snapchat is as far as i’m willing to go.”

“works for me,” the screen of his phone flashes with a dark mode keypad splayed over it - you’re not sure how he unlocked it without taking those glinted eyes off you but he did. so you swipe the phone off his hand and send yourself a request through his account.

“i’m gonna open your snap and leave you on read!” you announce, and he laughs, “alright, bet!”

and with that, he waves at you using the same phone he told you to put your number in, taking a few steps backward, allowing you room to breathe properly again before he whirls on his heels and walks through the glass double doors.

you don’t wait any longer than you have to, shivering from the cold night air when you slip into the car.

“did you give him your number?!” jennie practically screams.

“no but i gave my snapchat only because he looked like he wouldn’t sleep a wink at night if i didn’t,” you shrug.

and that’s how kim jennie gets it into her head that you’re going to get your first-boyfriend-cherry popped. or so she likes to believe.

but that’s the least of your concern for the greater one comes in a devil with black jeans and matching plain t-shirt and timberlands and a lit up screen at exactly three something in the am, right after you’re done with a hot shower and in a middle of towel drying your hair and putting on your night routine skincare.

you open the text revealing a night view of a cityscape from a window which room is surrounded by darkness and a transparent horizontal strip with a ‘❄️ ’ in the middle from a goldenjks.

so you snap a picture of your skincare products next to a mirror with you and a towel on your head, face blocked by your hand that’s holding your phone, choosing  to send ‘🍜’.

and so it goes, the snap war that erupts between you and user goldenjks throughout the night which, after you’d gotten into bed with the lights off, basically includes snaps of your darkened room and his more superior window view.

before long, you started texting on snapchat about how the police officer seems to know him and how-

goldenjks

u were p chill for someone who got arrested for the 1st time

you’re giggling in the darkness at 5:23 am.

you

cs ik i didn’t do anything wrong

duh

and he mentions something about a sobbing kid that was made to wait with you and nobody really did anything to comfort him.

goldenjks

that coulda been u if i wasn’t there probably

you roll your eyes but you can feel your muscles becoming sore from the way your lips are stretching from ear to ear.

then it starts with how taehyung didn’t saying anything throughout the ride up until the car rolled to a stop in front of jeongguk’s place.

goldenjks

r u guys using him for his car???

cs same 

i would 2

you

wtf

we’re not 😭😭

and without much thought, you end up spilling a not-so-secret but not-so-well-known truth.

you

welp

he’s using me to get close to jennie so

ig i should use him for his car

oof

goldenjks 

ooof

so let me guess

u can’t say no to him  cs u have the biggest crush on him

“what the hell?” you mumble to yourself, smile pulled down into a frown, but before you can type out a reply, two more pop up on his side.

goldenjks

and jimin head over heels for u

you

🧢 🧢 🧢

u funny 😂😂😂

goldenjks

fr fr tho 😔😔😔

i would b too

all of a sudden, a boy with the softest blonde hair and crescent eye smiles floods your throughts. you and jimin might have been casual friends for the longest time and only until recently started hanging out together - and he may or may not hold confidential information about the littlest details of the lack of smile on your face and the blank snaps in your stories whenever you’re down.

but to say he’s reacting such way because he’s into you would be a total scam.

so you shake your head, laughing out loud, “nah can’t be.”

you

alright imma 😴😴😴

to which jeongguk tests back a gnight and after one whole solid minute, a text u tmr?

you leave him on read.

x

“like, who does he think he is?” you huff, burying the plastic spoon into the ice cream before scooping up a chunk of neapolitan flavored goodness and directing it into your mouth, “he literally met us just last night and he’s spouting shit like he knows us for years?”

“i don’t know,” jennie humps, tongue darting out to lick the remnants of strawberry ice cream on her upper lips before she goes on with a smile that screams ‘just get together already’, “it’s kinda hot to me when guys know shits, you know what i mean?”

you’ve managed to avoid jimin and taehyung at all costs and sneak to the ice cream parlor that’s five minutes away from campus where you spilled your guts out about how you got unreasonably irritated by the long running joke, about how jeongguk’s hand wrapped around your wrist and he pulled you out of the way of the chaotic college students who were rushing to get out of the small, cramped apartment and how you stopped him from relaying your disbelief of his lack of knowledge about her.

“like, i flipped out at him because of some stupid joke,” you shrugged, hands fiddling with each other while a coat of smoke wafted over the newly scooped and paid-for ice cream.

your name rolled off her lips before she stared at you with her hands on hear heart, “i- i didn’t know you would go so far as fight a guy for me for calling me ugly,” then she laughed, “but you don’t have to. girl, we been knew i’m ugly as fuck.”

your jaw hit the ground at the word she used to describe herself before you blinked and came back to your senses and aggressive defenses, “oh my god, i’m the ugly one and you’re the literal goddess - like, i shouldn’t even be looking at you. i should be looking at your sole. you should be stepping on me - step on me! now!”

a yelp resonated into the air as you groped around for jenni’s left leg in an attempt to lift her foot to make her step on you to which you both ended up laughing hysterically after realizing that she was wearing a skirt and the way you were sitting may or may have not resulted in an array of possible outcomes.

“oh my god, do you think she saw my panties?” she meant the woman in her late 40′s who were shooting disapproving eyes at the both of you as she scrolled through her phone, seeming to be waiting for someone before placing an order.

“you just flashed a poor old woman who came to have some ice cream,” you were hunched over, hand covering your face as you stole glances her way which didn’t hold long because you ended up giggling with the girl when you caught each other’s eyes.

“you think she likes what she sees?” jennie’s brows rose suggestively and you knew what she was going to say next before the words even leave her mouth, “you think maybe i should tell her about my onlyfans?”

it was a few bursts of giggles later, that you’d finally managed to talk properly. or probably because jennie’s question brought out an unwelcomed emotion that you pushed to the back of your conscience last night and for the most part, managed to forget, “so,” her brows were wiggling like earthworms on her forehead, “did he text you?”

that was what spurred the whole confession and up to the moment where you spilled the contents of the unfairly attractive stranger’s text.

“i don’t know, he kinda went overboard,” you shrug and jennie’s hand reaches over yours, patting it once with what you assume is an understanding manner.

“sweetie, i get it,” she announces, “you feel exposed because he said the absolute truth and only the truth and now you’re projecting your embarrassment on him through disdain.”

silence follows her statement.

and staring.

on your part, that is.

“girl,” you blink once, eyebrows arched, “whatever you’re having - i want some.”

that warrants a bout of giggles from said girl before she scoops her last bite of ice cream and hook arms with you as you walk towards the trashcan to dump your empty paper bowls, “no but for real, i like jeongguk-”

“then you date him,” you announce, nodding in approval.

“i like how he brings this... this... fire out of you, you know?” she quizzes to which you shake your head in a ‘no, i don’t know’ kind of manner as she goes on, “and i already have namjoon so,” she sing songs as she starts to skip in the middle of the mall and since your arms are linked together, you end up taking larger steps to accommodate to hers before deciding that you can’t root your feet down to slow her down into a normal pace. so you join her, skipping to the exit where you wait for your uber.

“you guys made up?” the question comes out in a calm, poised manner once you’ve both slipped into the backseat of the uber - you’d like to believe you’re doing a pretty good job on trying to conceal your spiking disbelief and the need to whoop someone’s ass. that someone being a girl who just pledged an oath to choose herself first instead of some man who-

“i texted him and told him how i felt with him cancelling on our plans and when i didn’t get any reply, i turned off my phone and got into bed because i’m not gonna mope over someone who won’t appreciate me,” at that, you give her an approving nod, “but then he came knocking on my door at like 5 in the morning in yesterday’s suit because apparently he has a deadline to meet and he’s been bending over backward trying to finish it on time and he brought his laptop with him too and managed to submit on time after explaining everything. he said he tried calling multiple times but obviously it went to voice mail so... yeah we made up.”

“that’s...” you trail off, only to stare at your friend’s beaming face like she’s just had one of the best facials on earth, “wow, i... i don’t know what to say now that we know he’s not trash.”

“i know,” you feel her pat the back of your hand sympathetically, “and that’s what a man is,” and when she looks at you with eyes that have one goal in her mind, you know not to start listening because the facts are going to bruise your pride and hit the nail on the head more times than you’d-

“liking a boy has more downs than ups but i’m not too worried because you’re a self-loving bitch and i love that for you but kim taehyung is not it,” she says all that with a straight face.

“yeah,” you mumble, thumbs fiddling together as you turn your attention to them as if it’s the most magnifying thing in the world to find out that identical parts of your body could move on their own with just a thought.

“okay, but i swear, he’s so oblivious all the time-” the girl stops short of her lament, you can see her head tilting to peer at you at a slightly different angle as if to see traces of an impostor on you, “wait, what?”

“we got into a fight last night- i don’t know if it’s even a fight but you know how i go off in a tangent when i get like annoyed, right?” you steal a glance at her for half a second before going back to your thumbs, “so i kind of did that to him before the dude announced the cops were coming and we haven’t really talked to each other since then.”

before any of you could say anything else, the sound of a cough echoes in the air, warranting your attention to turn to the driver, a woman in her mid-thirties. you return her smile through the rear-view mirror, “if you don’t mind me saying this - i know you girls are smart as fuck, but you sound just as dumb as that guy - whoever he is because it’s completely normal to get mad at someone you’re crushing on and still have a crush on them but sounds to me like you’re thinking one fight is the end of the world for you.”

“sis, please, don’t encourage her,” jennie talk-whispers as she leans forward just the slightest bit and covers the side of her mouth with her hand.

“well, we’re not really friends,” you begin and jennie groans - you two went over this and agreed to disagree with each other’s wildly contrasting views about crushing on crushes that could crush you but the lady hasn’t heard it so you’re not going to stop lamenting over it, “and whatever i do, it’s like i’m teetering on a tight rope because one wrong move and he probably won’t talk to me ever again and i’m not like miserably crushing on him - like, whatever we are right now - it lets me see him every day and he has the cutest smile and the prettiest fingers- i just - it’s better than not talking to each other forever, you feel?”

“um, don’t i?” she rolls her eyes, as if coming from a place filled with oblivious boys and hopeless crushes.

her name is solar and she does uber as a part time while working 9 to 5 at a firm that she claims to pay better but still not enough for her to save up for her wedding on the side and she and her fiance knew each other since high school but she’s seen him date two girls and get his heartbroken by both before he actually noticed her, the friend that’s always been there for him through his heartbreaks.

coming from someone who isn’t jennie and her alarming obsession with breaking parts of bodies of people who hurt her loved ones, solar’s view is somewhat a mixture of you and your best friend’s which still bases on one simple fact: whatever you say to and about taehyung comes bouncing back at you like a ping pong ball because-

“you have a crush on him and he has a crush on jennie,” she surmises before looking over at the aforementioned girl, “and people with crushes act like idiots- by the way how do you feel- like how do you handle the guy’s advancements and still aren’t awkward with each other because i have never seen...”

when the car rolls to a stop in the parking lot of your faculty, she finally turns to the two of you, her bleached blonde hair framing her face in waves as the silence - on you and jennie’s part as you both share glances at the indicative joke opening - hangs in the air with a sort of tension you can feel.

might even bite back like you did with jeongguk but you’re more in control now.

 “...two pretty best friends who are still best friends when there’s a guy that comes between them.”

“oh thank god,” jennie sighs, laughing and you’re nodding in agreement, “thanks for not-” and your best friend echoes, “yeah,” before you can even finish your sentence, “-saying that cliche joke or like for giving your own twist to it,” waving a dismissive hand, you address her initial worries, “and taehyung doesn’t-”

“he doesn’t-” jennie chimes in.

“-come between us.”

you both say at the same time. 

“oh my god, that’s great, you know my best friend tried sleeping with my fiance behind my back once,” solar crinkles her nose, “wasn’t a good experience but anywho, i’m so glad to see two girls having each other’s back like you guys. makes me want to...”

it’s a few moments later that you finally hand her the money and murmur out appreciations for being such a great uber driver along with some ‘give me five stars! thanks!’ and ‘we will! have a nice one!’

you both part ways in the hallway when you’re supposed to go for marketing and she has to go for personnel management. jimin’s already reserved a seat for you, waving at you to catch your attention which he succeeds splendidly. by the start of the second year, you’ve opted to sit together in classes you have in common, though not as close as the front as you’d like, it’s better than sitting at the back where you can hear the buzz of flies - you mean people, talking.

“are you doing anything this friday night?” jimin asks amidst people zooming out of the class as if they don’t want to be there for longer than a minute after being dismissed.

that, or they have another class to get to on the other side of the campus.

“uh, just me or me and jennie ‘you’?” you dumbly question.

that warrants a chuckle from the boy, “you and jennie... unless you wanna come alone?”

a hum vibrates in your chest as you narrow your eyes at him, as though if you looked close enough, you can see through his skull and right into his thoughts. 

but you can’t so that’s why you’re spouting out another question, “where exactly are you inviting us again?”

“so, like, you know i dance right?” he drops his gaze for the briefest moment before coming back up to lock it with yours, “it’s very lowkey - just something i do for fun, but we kind of have a dance off with other teams every month and this month’s round is this friday night so i was wondering if you wanna come?” then he quickly adds, “with jennie, of course.”

to be frank your weekends are as boring and dull as it gets - the party-busted incident was a rare exception - but you and jennie are quite content with it. you start having more to do and places to venture out to when taehyung and subsequently jimin join your group of two and made it a group of four but for the most part, if you’re not going anywhere, your weekend is usually spent with watching movies and burying yourself in work for the rest of it.

“bet,” your reply might have come a tad bit delayed judging from how his brows rise to the ceiling and his eyes go round as he chirps, “really?” 

“yeah, just text me or jennie the location the day before,” you request as you both walk down the hallway.

“great- yeah, i’ll... i’ll text you the place,” jimin beams even as he bumps into someone behind him, turning around to lower his head and mumble out an oh sorry before turning back to you, “i got another class but i’ll text you- on thursday - not today, of course.”

and you wave back, shouting out an ‘okay bye!’

then he’s gone like the wind.

x

the days pass by like a breeze.

kim taehyung caught you in the middle of waiting for jennie’s class to end whilst also finishing up some work in the library. he knew your favorite spot and he knew where you’d usually be - but you had an inkling that you weren’t exactly the reason why he memorized these little things. he waved at you in greeting and you waved back. you would’ve pretended he didn’t exist after that and go back to your laptop if he didn’t hold up his phone screen with blank white space and blue and grey bubbles on the side.

so of course you picked up your phone, noticing that there were already three wiggling dots when you tapped on his name.

kth: hey

you met his gaze once, as if to affirm that he meant to send it. when he shota half, almost pleading smile, you typed out a reply.

you: hey what’s good

kth: nothing

kth: just waiting for a friend

seeing as there was not really a conversation going on where jennie wasn’t involved and how the boy’s blatant dismissal in addressing the big, giant elephant in the room, taehyung must’ve had seen the way your lips pursed into an irritated pout before his phone vibrated.

you: cool

and then you were back to your laptop, typing sentences out and backspacing because of its incoherent nature, or lack of quality or whatever reason that stopped you from doing your job before kim taehyung’s arrival.

then he started whispering “hey, uh, ____,” from across the table. upper body leaned to the front as if it’d help enunciate his words.

you took your sweet time taking out your airpods from each individual ear and placing them down next to your mac before finally arching a brow at the boy, “what?”

“hey,” he repeated, this time with a frozen mid-wave, “hi, how you doing?”

“great thanks,” there was a minimal effort on your part to disguise your ‘what even?’ expression on your face as you picked up your right airpod first - only to be stopped by the boy’s-

“i’m sorry.”

it’s clean and short but his face made up for conveying his genuinity.

“why are you saying sorry?” it didn’t mean you were going to let him off the hook easy.

“well, because...” he trailed off for the briefest moment but the unconcealable bop of his adam’s apple isn’t really helping him appear any more convincing, “i was being pushy...” he looked to you for an indication of him being on the right track to which you were not sure if he did get any but he still went on with his wits and his will - it took you everything not to gush over how cute he looks with his panic-blinking and pretty lips moving as if to say something but no words coming out, “...and i was generally being an annoying little shit.”

“and?” you pressed on, blinking once as if to paint a look of unbotheredness.

“...and...” he echoes, eyes darting from your phone to somewhere behind you and then something next to it but only silence fills the space between you and him.

“alright, i’m gonna be real with you,” leaning back, you cross your arms over your chest, “i know you talk to me when you need something and i don’t really care - well i do, but i just bottle it up until it one day burst out, you know what i’m saying? so yea, if you’re wondering if that night was me blowing up on you, it kinda was and it wasn’t because you were making small talks with me just to  poke into my best friend’s business - well, it kinda is but like not in that way, you follow? what i mean is.. don’t let me catch you sneaking behind jennie’s back asking personal shits about her that you don’t think she’s going to disclose even if you straight up ask her - that’s sus, taehyung.”

by the end of it, he was staring at you like you had two horns and a tail swaying around behind you. but you concur, that may or may have not been your inner self coming to light - just a hypocrite criticizing someone for doing the things she would have done, if she wasn’t already doing it, if she was in his shoes.

and to be quite frank, taehyung’s shoe size is probably a few inches bigger than yours but if they had laces, you would’ve been able to put them on and tied them up to accommodate your ego.

so taehyung didn’t - couldn’t say anything in response to your second time going off into a tangent and because of what he did, at that. he stopped texting you altogether and only talked to jennie whenever you weren’t around and left before you got to them if he saw you coming his way - jennie’s actually. 

either way, jennie wasn’t as elated as you thought she’d be once you told her that you called taehyung out on his bullshit.

“um, i’ve always wanted to tell him about me and namjoon so he’d give up - you were the one who didn’t let me,” she might or might not have said something along the lines of you making her “lead him on all because you wanted to an eye candy to look at every day.”

“what do you mean?” your forehead was creasing a thousand folds.

“not that i’m pointing fingers,” she went on, eyes glued to the pairs of indoor shoes in the corner of the room and anywhere but your eyes, “but i’m like, cool with or without him around but you sort of said ‘okay, then it’s cool if he comes with us right?’ and you were making puppy eyes and i couldn’t no to that-”

and so you were laughing dryly, “aha- wha- what so it’s my fault that he’s being a total wuss and won’t square up?”

“i didn’t say that,” jennie’s reply came a heartbeat later which meant yes, it was.

so now you’re not talking to your best friend and neither are you talking to the boy who’s crushing on her. which leaves you a lot of free time to finish up your work in time to hop into a bullet train and then an uber and get to the building where jimin’s dance off is held. 

you’re in the middle of texting the boy a ‘sorry, might b late. i didn’t know there’d be a line 😭’ when a figure comes up to you from the corner of your eye.

fitted in black jeans and matching tucked in t that shows off his slender waist and beanie, the only thing that isn’t black is probably his white-yellow timberlands, “so you weren’t kidding when you said you were gonna leave me on read.”

“you know, it’s so cute that you think you’re worth the reply at all,” you blink, eyes going wide and jaw hanging loose from shock, “this... this... confidence - where do you get it? seriously, tell me because i have never seen someone with such immaculate self-absorbance.”

jeongguk’s head moves as he nods in admittance, hands buried in his pocket before he looks up at you. that familiar glint in his eyes is telling you that whatever he has up his sleeve, you’re not going to be able to refuse.

“you know, eugene over there and i are homies,” he nods towards the burly tall man at the front who’s mainly the reason there’s a line in the first place - one that no one seems to dare cut, “i could get you in faster.”

“oh my god, look what that self-absorbance’s got you believing,” you put one, sympathetic hand on his shoulder as your free hand goes to cover the spot on your chest where your heart is, “i’m so happy for you,” you glance over to the not-declining-anytime-soon line behind you, “but sometimes, even confidence can’t get you into invites-only events.”

 to any other person, it must’ve looked like you and jeongguk are friends - friendly acquaintances hitting best buddies at the very least. but something in the way his grin curling sweetly on his lips and the curve of the half ringlet of his hair touching the corners of his onyx eyes, makes your toes curl inwardly and your stomach churn with a sort of emotion you can’t pinpoint.

and because of that, you know there won’t be any sort of friendship forming between you and jeongguk.

he leaves you with an amused smirk and a “see you inside,” and marches up to eugene, the two sharing an uncomplicated handshake before the man steps to the side and lets him in.

well. 

it takes you another ten minutes of standing in line and assuring jimin that he doesn’t need to rush out and risk having his team go without him when their turn comes. which according to jimin, ‘isn’t anytime soon - they let the bigger teams go first’.

but then jimin knowing jimin, that probably meant soon enough.

when you’re finally on the front of the line, crumpled up ticket in hand, eugene gives you a once over and nods at his not-as-burly-but-just-as-scary-looking friend.

“follow me,” and with that, she struts in through the door but instead of going down the hallway like the ones before you did before they disappear from eyesight in the corner, she takes a sharp turn to the right until she stops in front of an elevator.

her deep violet hair brushes against her cheekbones as she nods at the empty box with mirrors all around.

yeesh, guess everyone expresses themselves with their bodies here.

the numbers constantly change from ground level to 1 to 2 and finally stops at the 3rd floor where the blare of the music seems to come from. and that’s when you see the black haired boy who has his forearms leaned against the railing as he grins at something on the bottom floor where the shouts and cheers seem to erupt from. but before you can make a sharp 180 to go back down where jimin said you’d only need to follow the hallway and take the turn around the corner like the people before you did, jeongguk looks up as if sensing the heat of your gaze drilling holes inside his head. with one hand raised, he beckons you over.

“your majesty,” you drop into a bow once you reach him, “this humble servant thanks you for bringing her here but,” pointing your thumb over your shoulder at the hallway you just came from you continue, “i think i’m on the wrong floor because all i can see here is flocks of hair - an oh, shiny scalp from that guy - arms flailing around. takes away the magic of dance, you feel?”

“so you’re here for jimin.” it doesn’t sound like a question - so it must not be. a ponderous hum vibrate from his chest as you shoot him an arched brow whilst your insides burst like fireworks at the way his darkened eyes traces down your body and back up after he’s done with what seems to be a scout’s assessment.

“no leather pants and no best friend or heartbreak boy hovering around like a lost puppy - let me guess, he did something that made you mad, the best friend backed him up and now you’re mad at both of them?” he raises his own brow, lips curling into an assured smirk, “oh and jimin here’s probably taking a neutral stance because it ‘doesn’t concern’ him.”

you don’t know if you want to run away or grab the neck of his shirt and smack your lips on his.

so you settle with handguns pointed in his face, “alright, catch you never.”

but before you can even take a step to where you came from, jeongguk’s laying out his card on the table, “you sure bout that? it’s bulleproof boys’ turn - it’s jimin’s teams name, in case you’re wondering and judging by who they’re going against, it might be their first and last performance for the night.”

“i knew that,” respectfully, you had no idea that the teams have specific names besides the alphabetical letters given to them upon registration.

jimin’s only mentioned dance match once and that he’s in team c that’ll go against team d.

so you stick around, watching from all the way on the third floor where the lest people are gathered, cheering out names of teams that are alien to your ears which seem to be the team jimin is going against. but the fact that jimin could dance with such precision and grace is magnifying enough. he’s mostly posed on either sides of the formation, switching from the front left to the furthest back line on the right side as the beat drops.

jimin’s name pours out of your mouth in cheers but it’s swallowed by the other cheers before it can even reach him. in the end, jimin’s team loses. they still go up to their opponent and share handshakes and sidehugs before moving away from the dance floor.

he’s not smiling nor is he frowning as he stands in the crowd after the prelims but his lips curl and eyes disappear into crescents when he sees you.

“hey!” his arms open up into a hug, only to stop halfway in hesitation but by then you’re already wrapping yours around his neck with a “you were so cool!”

and just like that, the awkwardness in the air dissipates.

“i didn’t see you in the crowd.”

“so what? you thought i left?” a light smack lands on his arm, “by the way, you didn’t tell me it was this intense - i can feel the tension from all the way...” you pause for the briefest moment, “...in the audience.”

“everyone here just likes to dance so it gets competitive at some point but at the end of the day, it’s important to have fun,” he shrugs, a shy smile plastered to his face.

“either way you did great,” you bump his elbow with yours, and he shifts his weight to his left foot.

“we lost but it was a fair match the bts people were too good,” a mixture of regret and contentedness crosses his face as he nods to himself, as if admitting the difference in skills.

“let’s get a drink later, i’m buying,” you propose and jimin looks like a kid who just received his favorite candy.

well, that was the plan for the rest of the night up until the winner was announced. then a boy no older than you and jimin came up to the latter, arms slung over his shoulders, “dude, beyond the scene just asked if we wanna join them at the afterparty. can you believe it?”

“dude, you capping - don’t fucking joke with men man, i was about to shit my pants-” jimin attempts to shove the guy away half-heartedly which does nothing as his friend - teammate, cuts him off.

“i’m not fucking joking, man, behind the scenes literally asked if we wanna chill with them!”

the two boys are basically shoving each other back and forth before they start slapping each other on the face once to wake the other up. whoever this behind the scenes guys, they seem like a pretty big deal if two grown adults are fanboying this hard about them.

only after they’re sporting the faintest shade of pink on their right cheeks, do they finally realize that they weren’t squeal-whispering by themselves. he introduces himself as kai - “jimin’s best friend and mentor.”

“he likes to say that because i got into dance because of him,” jimin adds, debunking the mentor myth.

you’re about to wave the two goodbye and call it a night since it’s pretty clear that the behind the scenes guys only invited them and not their friends.

“come with us,” kai announces as the three of you walk down the back entrance where it’s less crowded and meant for the participants to use, “baekhyun can’t make it so we’ll still be five people.”

“i really should go- it’s getting late and my place is in seoul-”

and so begin your war of apologies and ‘no, you’s.

“oh shit, i forgot.” jimin’s usually almond-shaped eyes turn round and wide, “you used the subway-”

“yeah, but i can still catch the last train home-” you try to assure.

“i’ll accompany you back-”

“no, no - you should go with them-”

“no, i made you come to watch-”

and it would have gone on until morning if you and jimin were left to argue on who should do what if kai didn’t clap his hands together and put an end to the long debate, “okay, okay, break it up.”

he looks between the blonde haired best friend and then to you, “jimin came with me so i’m gonna drive him back anyway and i could drop you off too after chilling with bts - it’s nothing you’re not used to, beers and games and shits, you know? plus it’ll be like, less than 20 people there - bts never invites other groups into their circle - who knows, maybe you’ll find your true way like jimin did,” he pats the aforementioned man on his shoulder whilst jimin rolls his eyes at the way best friends who’ve heard their best friend boast about an-untruth for the umpteenth time.

and because you basically made another friend and that means you’ll have at least 2 people to hang out with if the rest turns out not to be your kind of people - so you cave in, “okay, sure, why not?”

x

'why not’s are subjective - or so you’d like to think.

like when you’re not particularly into americano and prefer latte but wouldn’t say no to having the first if jennie mixed up your order and bought you your not-so-favored but also not-so-hated drink.

but jennie’s known you since she shoved you off the swings at five after you outran her only to get to the swings faster because only one was vacant and the other kid was already in the other one.

so she’d know your preferred drinks.

but in the event she suddenly has amnesia or anything and got you and americano, that’s when you’ll go, “why not?”

but that and finding out that jeongguk used to be part of bts until he hurt his during practice, having to have 2 major surgeries because of it, rendering him no longer able to dance so he’s only going to the dance offs to cheer for his friends which was how he met you at the entrance and now you’re handcuffed together (and yes, again) in the middle of the forest - are two disparate things altogether.

hoseok, the most outgoing and friendliest of the bunch, suggested for the ice breaking to be in a form of 2 beer bottles and a sort of rope or chain tying people from bts and the bulletproof people together to talk for five minutes. they only have 2 pairs of cuffs so the others that lack them have to make do with bandanas and you think a seokjin got harassed into taking off his shirt and using it as him and his designated partner’s pseudo handcuff.

yours and jeongguk’s are - you’re not sure if it’s a fortunate or unfortunate thing - real ones (you’re not sure if you want to know why and how seulgi easily pulls out a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs and a normal-looking one - out of the blue).

but you’re almost sure that you’re leaning on the side of the internal argument of this - this, right here - is why not.

“why didn’t you text me back?” jeongguk is in the middle of asking as you take a big chug of the alcoholic beverage.

"oh my god,” you let a pleased smile tug at your lips as you feel the buzz of the alcohol coursing through your system, “i was just gonna talk to you about that - jennie said i was being a ghosting b because you only said facts and i got like, offended without a reason but i agree that people can be wrong sometimes and that was her time... i just...” you shrug, “i just didn’t want to text you back so i didn’t,” you look at him with a new found familiarity, “anyways, how was your week?”

by the end of it, jeongguk’s nodding and poorly suppressing his smirk.

“well, let me start first,” you begin before he can even say anything, listing down the happenings in a chronological order which may or may have not confirmed his initial assumption on why you’re here alone “...i mean, was it my fault though? between you and me, i think jennie and i need to sit down and actually talk about accountabilities first, you know? but anyway, that’s how my week went! how about you, how was your week?”

to say that your turmoil of a week is anything close to a laugh-worthy joke, would be a lie but for some reason, trickles of laughter are escaping jeongguk’s lips and into the night air as he leans back, holding his stomach. he would’ve hit the ground if you’d poke him.

“wow,” you slowly nod, “that’s... that’s very... flattering that you think my somewhat a quarter life crisis is amusing,” a grin stretches across your face but your eyes drill holes into the boy’s skull, “maybe i should just quit uni altogether. that’d be... exciting, right? just... quit uni and live a life as a comedian because look at how much i’m cracking you up right now!”

and it goes on for another minute of jeongguk’s laughter filling the air as you threaten him to stop in the guise of encouragement besides the cracking of the branches as it gets swallowed up by the fire in the barrel not too far away from where everyone’s scattered.

“god,” when he’s finally reduced to chuckles and wiping invisible tears off the corner of his eyes, you’re about halfway done with your bottle.

“and he’s back,” you announce, “welcome back. can’t say i missed you though but glad that you’re back with us.”

but before jeongguk can get a word out about his own week which you’d asked, if only to be polite, hoseok is already summoning everyone to gather around the barrel as he raises a bottle in the air to - “new groupship and friends!”

or so you think he said.

you’re not too sure because you’re too busy demanding jeongguk to - “uncuff me right now, jeon - was that too pushy? let me try again,” you pause, clearing your throat, “can you please, please, please, uncuff me so i can go back to my friends and not have to stay here a minute longer?”

“don’t act like you don’t enjoy my company,” he offers you one of his self-assured smirks before addressing your concern, “i’m trying,” he says simply, free hand patting around the pocket on the side of his jeans before groping his own ass.

“um, maybe try harder?” you suggest, smiling sweetly but it downturns into a frown not even a minute later when he declares, “i can’t find it.”

“you... can’t find it?” you echo his words.

“it’s not on me,” he states.

“well, did seulgi give it to you at all or...” you trail off only to be met by a devious smirk which doesn’t exactly help his case.

“guess you’re stuck with me,” he shrugs ever so easily.

“oh, hell nah,” and that’s when you latch onto to smirking boy’s body - on your hands at least, and since his left hand and your right hand are cuffed together, it doesn’t allow much room for your physical inspection which is how using your only free hand to get to the side of his pocket that’s farthest from you - may appear suspicious to others.

you only notice that you’re fully facing jeongguk and having your back turned to everyone else when hoseok’s voice cuts through the air, “yo hold up, hold up, hold up - this is bonfire and chill, not netflix and chill.”

your jaws hurt from hanging a bit too low as you meet each and everyone’s eyes, their giggling and laughing already telling enough of what the majority thinks - everyone except jimin, that is.

but you’re a bit too preoccupied with trying to clear the supposed air of you and jeongguk getting it on in the middle of the forest with both your friends and his around, “aha,” you force out, “i know this,” free hand waving between the chain linking your wrists and the open air which isn’t helping your case because jeongguk’s poor attempt at subduing his smirk is well, poor, “might look sus to you but it isn’t - jeongguk lost the key and if someone could help us find it, it’d-”

“oh, don’t worry, i have a spare at home,” seulgi chirps up, hand waving her illuminated phone, “i’ll text my girlfriend to bring it here.”

well, that explains the fluffy cuffs.

“sick,” jeongguk nods over to the girl to which she holds up an ‘okay’ sign and a meaningful smile to him which shouldn’t be ominous but is.

so you fix him a stare when hoseok goes to say something along the line of ‘great’ and ‘lifesaver’ to seulgi.

which the boy only asks back with a “what?”

“i have something to say but i’m not gonna so i’m just gonna keep quiet but just know that i’m watching you,” but the warning doesn’t exactly bring out the intimidating aspect that you hoped for.

“watch all you want, i’m yours for tonight,” the velvety sound of his chuckles is awfully distracting because you don’t even notice the chain clinking until his fingers interlock yours before he brings them up in the air - as if to emphasize on the technicality of his titillating claim.

the night goes on with bottles of beers scattering over the ground, faint smoke dissipating into the air as the scent of something sweet and fruity wafts around whilst the juul gets passed around.

once in a while someone’s laugh echoes between the gaps of the trees and into the night, amidst the sound of woodland creatures. you’ve downed one and a half bottle of henny whilst jeongguk doesn’t seem to have gone past even half of his first bottle. but he’s chuckling and laughing at something someone said which, for the most part, is funny or warrant a jaw-dropping, pin-drop-silence kind of reaction just like now as seulgi confesses to-

“never have i ever slept with my mom’s boyfriend at 19.”

“and that’s on mommy issues,” you hold up a beer in a ‘cheers’ manner at her whilst she mimics your action before you both tilt your head up and take a chug out of your individual beers at the same time.

“what about you?” jeongguk asks and for a moment, you forget that there are people around because jeongguk’s eyes look like someone reached up the sky and handpicked two stars each for his irises and trap them in there like a class case.

but you’d like to believe it’s the alcohol doing its rightful work in your system because you’re back on the ground with an unrelenting itch on your ankle where it’s brushing against the blades of grass.

“yea, what’s your never-have-i-ever mommy issues edition?” kai speaks up.

“nah, it’s wack,” you wave a dismissive hand but end up agreeing to spill the beans when a bout of protest spreads across your ever so faithful audience.

“okay, okay, never have i ever fucked my biological mom’s husband who isn’t my dad,” you say which earns a bout of cheers and ‘that’s messed up’s before seokjin claps his hands together.

“never have i ever...” he pauses, grinning as an added suspense before he goes on, “fucked my brother’s boyfriend.”

the game doesn’t last for long when everyone collectively agree to take the atmosphere up a notch and play strip truth or dare. but before your turn came, seulgi announces her girlfriend’s arrival concurrently with her having to leave for the night because she’s her ride home. and because you and jeongguk are both of the same mind that you’re the ones that should be following after her to get yourselves uncuffed, you do just that. 

yeri is a sweetheart and matches seulgi’s playful yet reserved nature. they take the cuffs with them and seulgi waves you two goodbye with the same, meaningful smile directed to jeongguk - but if that’s not enough, the ‘good luck’ thumbs up is a screaming red button for you.

but before you can even call him out for his possible hand in convincing his dance friends to invite jimin’s and consequently you to the forest after the match - he beats you to it.

“you okay?” this time, his features are lacking the smirk.

“yea, why wouldn’t i be?” you say, hopping on the rail of the train track that’ll lead to the spot where the others are - so far, you’re doing a good job not falling to your demise.

“i don’t know,” the scraping sound of his soul kicking against the pebbly ground fills the air as he walks next to you, hands in his pocket, “you’ve been pretty quiet after that thing about your mom.”

“you think what i did was messed up?” you inquire, resisting the urge to steal a glance at him to see what kind of emotion he’s making - whether it’s contorted with disgust or whether his nose is crinkling at an attempt to appear unbothered or whether there really isn’t any judgments being passed and he’s just downcasting his eyes because he’s looking out for possible sharp objects protruding from the ground.

“everyone’s a little messed up,” his shoulderline shakes as he shrugs, “it’s the why behind it that counts.”

“nah,” your hair tickles your face as you shake your head in blatant refutation, “i didn’t have a reason.”

and just when you expect a disgusted scoff to erupt from jeongguk’s pink lips... it doesn’t.

“that works too.”

silence follows his words for the longest moment with you trying placing one foot in front of the other, pretending like teetering on that tightrope you’re stuck on with kim taehyung at the end of it, not even waiting for you but just happen to be there.

so you break the silence, “i finally found her last year - flew all the way to jeju  because my biological aunt saw my the post i put up on facebook in a last ditch attempt before i hire a private investigator like my dads suggested. she set us up to meet,” the picture of a woman who’s so similar yet dissimilar to you flashes at the back of your head, a biscoff cheesecake slice lying untouched on the table and someone screaming at the top of their lungs right in front of your ears, “my biological mom didn’t know anything about it, flipped out and told me to never bother her again so i looked up where her husband worked and slept with him and sent the video to her.”

jeongguk doesn’t say anything, only nodding in your periphery before a soothing kind of silence lapses between you.

“what’s your story?” you ask a moment later.

“hm?” he glances at you, the moonlight shining over that smirk that you’ve come to miss in the course of the five minutes it went missing, skin painted a creamy white.

“if you don’t wanna tell, that’s fine too but like, you basically tore down my walls and i’m naked as hell - figuratively -” you add as soon as his eyes light up, “right now.” 

but then he tries to bargain, “promise you’ll text me back and i’ll tell.”

and you try to teeter in the grey area between words and its meanings, “alright, promise... i won’t leave you on read.”

“nah, you gotta promise to text back,” his half curls sway as he shakes his head - your end of the bargain not sufficiently satisfying.

it’s a few moments after your surrendering, “you know what? keep your skeletons in your closet - i’m good,” that he finally says something.

“i used to do tracks, lucked out with a sports scholarship but by freshman year in college, realized i didn’t even like tracks and dropped out...”

jeongguk’s parents weren’t happy about it - didn’t exactly welcome him when he came back with a suitcase and a letter from his unversity claiming the outstanding balance of his first two semesters. but he wasn’t happy at home either. 

so he packed his bags one more time and took the first train to seoul where he worked part time at a restaurant and occasionally at the dance off’s, before he found the beyond the scene people and subsequently found dance. that was amidst of a developer of the game he was playing approaching him through the game’s chat server and offering him a job to test out their games with the condition that he gets a degree in computer science which they paid for on the company’s scholarship fund.

and so it was obvious that jeon jeongguk, wherever he chooses to go and stop at, blooms like a wildflower that strives in any condition thrown in his face whether it be a storm, a hurricane or a sunny weather that barely allows any rain to cover the soil he’s rooted in.

and because he’s true to himself, it isn’t as unbelievable, when almost everyone - from every layer of backgrounds, flock around him like honeybees in spring - allured, magnified and bewitched by jeon jeongguk that makes him... well, him.

to say you understand him a little bit better may be an overstatement but maybe you’re less suspicious of his keen intuition and uncanny prognosis of what happened in your relationships, both with your friend and your not-so-friendly crush.

jeongguk jests that his leg “doesn’t work like it used to but-” - he’s been to places. seen people.

“so why are you obsessed with me?” you question into the night in a light hearted joke, “i mean, i can possibly see why because well, i’m... me and i’m amazing but you know, it’s not healthy to be this obsessed with people.”

his chuckles sounds like wind chimes on a spring day, "besides the fact that i was too busy being a tracks nerd for most of my life so i have zero flirting skills and decided to make all the calls that seem to irritate the one person i want to get to know? it’s because you looked like you were head over heels with the guy you were putting in place but still managed to not make it personal.”

it takes a moment for you to digest what he just said, and even then, you’re nodding in complete disagreement as you blurt out, “pretty sure some parts were personal,” and you turn to him with a smile stretched over your face, “but glad that you don’t think i’m the impostor.”

so you stop twenty steps away from where you can see the fire in the barrel and hoshi, one of the guys from bulletproof boys, standing in boxers and shouting an oath before gulping down a bottle of henny at an alarming rate.

“everyone’s a little sus now and then,” he refutes, nose crinkling as a grin spread across his moon-kissed features as he offers you his hand and you take it, hopping off your tightrope journey and onto grounding earth.

x

when morning comes, you wake up to the familiar but not-very-welcomed sound of cars honking from outside your window and the light piercing through your eyelids, so much so, you surrender to the start of the day. arms stretched over your head and a guttural sound vibrating within your chest as a sign of protest before your vision finally gets used to the bright sunny rays.

and that’s when you freeze. arms stretched and all.

“after all this, you can’t say no to a date with me,” jeon jeongguk is lying right next to you, in your one-person bed which you could never imagine would fit more than your need-for-maximum-space self when you sleep but there he is, in yesterday’s clothes, hugging your light pink alpaca plushie on his stomach whilst his elbow which you don’t notice before is poking into your rib.

the events of last night untangle in a web of hazed memory coming to high definition as each passing second pass by.

you and jimin live on the opposite ends of the city which made you reluctant in having kai drive you back at all, so jeongguk offered to split the uber bills with you because apparently, “oh, hey, we live in the same area!”

which later turned out you didn’t and it would’ve made more sense for him to hitch a ride with kai and jimin. but you didn’t even need to ask why he did what he did.

because by the time you and jeongguk returned, it’d been a set-in-stones assumption that you were off making out somewhere under a tree and everyone cheered you and him for it upon your return.

well, except jimin.

so you pulled jeongguk to the side once the attention was directed to hoseok whose dare was to lick the grass he was stepping on.

“is that thing about jimin liking me true because he’s been like, avoiding my eyes the whole night and now he’s acting like i don’t exist and i’m pretty concerned because his friend is my ride home,” you whispered underneath your beath.

jeongguk threw one, confirming glance at the aforementioned man before nodding casually, “he’s jealous as fuck because he thinks we did the do - cross my heart and hope to die.”

so you ended up offering jeongguk to sleep in your bed because it was already late and it felt like a waste to spend another thirty bucks to go back to a place where nobody was waiting for him anyway.

you were so beat, you’d fallen asleep as soon as jeongguk pulled your protesting self off the futon-splayed floor and held you captive in your own bed.

“you know what? i might as well,” you say, legs thrown off the bed and stretching some more before looking down at the smiling, plushie-holding, grown ass person in your bed, “now we need to figure out how to sneak you out because this is a girls-only dorm and if they found out i have a guy over, i might get expelled.”

but before you can even start brainstorming the best possible route for jeongguk to sneak out without being detected, an obnoxious rapping reverberates against your door. the look of pure horror settling in as jeongguk’s smile melts into a wide-eyed, panicked face would have been adorable if you’re not in the middle of shoving him into your “quick, in the closest!” which he needs to hunch his shoulders to become as small as possible before you can close it whilst you yelp out a “just a minute!”

by the time you manage to school a smile on your face, jennie’s is already sprinkled with a dust of red as her brows come together, judging your choice of outfit and the events that went down last night.

“hey, girl,” you drag out the first word in idle panic, body leaning against the doorframe a little too defensively, “what’s...” you can’t even find the right words as you tap your fingers against the doorframe before finally saying, “what’s good?”

but one questioning look from her and you’re stepping out of the way, left to stand at attention like a cadet in the presence of the general whilst said general struts into your room and scans it once before turning to you.

“’what’s good?’” jennie echoes and you know from the way her head does the slightest of movements according to her enunciation, “imagine seeing your best friend on some mutual friend’s snapchat story which mind you, said mutual friend isn’t anywhere close to either of you and the time in the snap says a big whooping 4:03 am while you’re here feeling bad for hurting her feelings with your words words. but does she feel bad? well, it doesn’t flipping look like she even gave any thoughts about you, did it?”

and that’s when the closet decides that it’s had enough of storing a full grown human in its belly and slowly, but surely swings the door open with thunderous creak in the midst of the calm before the storm. and lo and behold, a jeon jeongguk, still hugging your alpaca tightly, keeping his eyes closed as if it’ll make him invisible before he gradually screws one eye open to the sight of a raging but confused  jennie kim and a mortified you turning to said girl.

so much for keeping skeletons in closets.

“i-i can explain.”

x

it turns out all it takes for jennie’s anger to subside is for her to find a boy in your room. namely the boy she’s been blatantly shipping you with even though you barely knew each other then.

“i have a wig in my room,” she suggests after you’ve exhausted all options - jeongguk can’t climb through the window and jump down from the second floor.

“well, he can but there’s no guarantee he’ll be able to leave without one of his limbs intact,” you’d added, shrugging.

he’s sitting crossed leg on your bed, alpaca in his lap and looking cute as hell as his eyes go round at the mention of a wig and five minutes prior, crossdressing.  the plan is for you and jennie will walk him out once he’s all dresed up like you’re just three - well, one is kind of buffed up but still pretty - best friends who had a girls’ night and crashed in your room.

he whistles lowly, head lulling to the side as he stares at the door before turning to you with a playful smile, “i’ve always wanted to wear a skirt.”

and so it goes, jennie kim’s squealing and making a short trip to her room and returning with a bag full of wig, stretchable sweaters and lycra skirts whilst she scours through your closet for clothes that you have but don’t even remember. the oversized sweater that’s a few more inches too big for you wraps around his body tightly and the skirt is a tad bit too short for him, going down to a few inches above the knee. but the head turner is the way the curly brown wig gracefully frames his face and softens his jawline, giving an illusion of how his half-ringlet would have looked if he grew them out.

you apply the soft pink lipgloss on his already rosy lips as a joke in a guise of a final touch, heart skipping as his lips curl whilst he gazes at you the whole time you’re putting on the glimmering liquid.

“okay, i feel bad,” you confess, shoulder line falling, “i thought you’d hate the lipgloss and i was going say it’s important to make the look work if you said no but you’re not saying no and you’re looking at me like you’d trust me with your life...” a sigh rolls off your lips at the end of it.

“you feel bad?” he echoes, glossed lips looking kissable as hell - it doesn’t even matter that he’s smirking like it was part of his plan all along to manipulate your conscience into confessing your ulterior motive.

so you nod.

“good,” he states simply.

“you saying good like you’re satisfied that you managed to pick on my guilty conscience is making me feel less guilty,” you narrow your eyes, not even bothering to hide the smile creeping on your lips.

“oh my god, my ship is sailing!” jennie’s whispered squeal cuts through the air before she reverts to her deadpanned self, “okay but seriously, if you’re done sprinkling sugar cubes all over the place, i think we should get jeongguk out before miss snitchery sonyeon next door sniffs the man in jeongguk and snitch on us.”

sonyeon has been known for reporting 2 boy-sneaking activities that went on last year which would have been justified if the girls that brought the boys into their room was doing questionable things and loudly at that but the first incident was with a late enrolled newbie that just moved in and didn’t know that boys weren’t allowed inside and though the other girl did sneak her boyfriend in, it was only because he was bleeding profusely and needed first aid treatment which she stored in her room.

you’re just about a few feet away from the double doors when a familiar but disembodied voice drums in your ears.

“you three, stop right there.”

you think your heart stops working for the briefest moment as time freezes and you’re craning your head to look at jennie whose fear-stricken face mimics yours and then jeongguk whom you don’t expect to wear such ceases in his forehead.

so you do the one thing that you think of-

“run.” you whisper.

all of a sudden, the wind is in your face and a few heads turn your way - but you doubt that it has more to do with how unfairly gorgeous jeongguk looks than the fact that the ra is on your tail, her pitched demands for ‘someone stop them!’ whilst. you’re not sure if someone did try to chase after you or if the adrenaline pumping in your system is what helps you sprint faster than a cheetah but when you finally slow down, almost skidding to a stop on the grass somewhere on campus grounds instead of the dormitory area - it’s because jennie is dramatically breathing through her mouth and found herself a bench to put on an act of dying whale.

“you guys... go on... leave me be...” she croaks out in between breaths, hand reaching out to the air.

“dude, tell me if you’re gonna stop so we can stop and get caught together,” you guff, plopping down, your state no better than jennie’s while jeongguk shakes his head at the two of you.

not even a beat of sweat or heaved breathing coming from him - not to mention that-

“how are you the fastest-” you suck in a much needed breath, “-when your leg doesn’t work as good anymore?”

“yea, didn’t say i can’t run,” he grins.

“jen, let’s go,” you say, tapping the dying whale on her shoulder as she starts wailing words of saddened goodbyes.

“forsake me! save yourselves!” she wheezes, staring into nothingness before waving a dismissive hand, “no for real, i don’t think they’re gonna chase us all the way here. you guys go, i have a date anyway, i’ll text kim,” it’s the name you coined for namjoon whenever you talk about him in public, “to pick me up here.”

a year ago, you would have called her a brave fool for having her boyfriend slash professor that’s teaching at the same university - pick her up in plain sight. but once you saw the unfamiliar ferrari roll to a stop in front of the dorms with tinted black windows, you understand why they can be as free and uncaring as they are.

“you sure? what if they saw you here?” you question, needles of doubt still deeply pierced into your racing heart.

but when she looks at you with arched brows and a familiar couldn’t-care-less attitude, you know nothing you say can change her mind which helps ease the knots in your stomach by a lot.

so you cave in, waving her goodbye - but not before the scarring ‘we still need to talk though’ reminder - and going back to the tall, brown haired person who’s holding his left hand midair and wiggling his fingers about in what you think is a parodic depiction of how girls wave at each other while mouthing a nasally, higher-pitched “thank you so much for helping us.” 

one minute into the walk, you stop in front of the cafe you’re used to having lunch at with your group of 4 - if there’s even any group left after this, “so this kim guy - he’s way older isn’t he?” 

“if you’re all knowing, you wouldn’t end that sentence with a question,” you assert, “so i’m not gonna say anything.”

“that’s a yes then,” he nods. 

“i think we lost them,” you say, a tad too late but pretend to look around anyway like you’re not 200% sure of that fact.

to any outsiders, you’ll probably look like two girls standing three feet apart from each other, looking out in a distance.

“nice,” jeongguk nods, joining in your scouting party before he squints his eyes at something in the most casual manner before suggesting, “so... you wanna go on a date?”

x

“you think we lost them?” you whisper under your breath, worry filling your chest as you throw your gaze over somewhere at the end of the alleyway where flashes of red and blue lights passed by.

but before the black cladded boy can say anything, his lips smack together as he and you both press yourselves flat to the wall as the sound of radio static bounces into the narrow space you’ve found yourselves in. six months after your first date, which involves a crossdressing jeongguk and a day at a park that had you returning to the dorm with a giant teddy bear and a strip of photo you took from the booth comprising the multiple personalities embodied in one person from sassy to stare-into-the camera-intimidating face to him looking down and shyly peeking through his pushed back curls - you’ve gone on multiple other dates.

none of which can be considered normal because you’ll always end up in a sticky situation like you are now.

on your second month, you found out that jeon jeongguk not only has a stable  income for literally playing games while trying to balance out his education but he also paints and draws.

on your third month, you go on your first mural-painting-in-the-middle-of-the-night-dressed-as-robbers date to which ended pretty well with the two of you getting hungry and having ramen at a 24 hour convenience store. so the mural painting becomes a monthly routine.

jimin finds out about it somewhere down the line and broke out into the most heartwarming smile while teasing you about how “the singles lost another one,” as he shook his head in dismay. but things went back to normal for the most parts. taehyung talks to you more now. he apologized for having only treated you like someone useful to him when he needed something and found that you have more in common than you think.

like how you’re decently informed about the greatest artists of all time - all because jeongguk was telling you about them whilst you chill at his place on days you don’t feel like going out but still want to spend time together. jeongguk, later found out that his supply of artistic information was what led to you and taehyung’s improving friendship and offers to become your spokesperson by having you invite taehyung to a cafe so he can pour his abundance of knowledge in the fine arts of painting - “since he’s so interested in van gogh, you know what i mean?”

he even finished it with a tilt of his head and an sassy ‘ugh.”

“i think we gotta run,” jeongguk’s declarations doesn’t have you arching your eyebrows and looking at him in an ‘are you for real?’ kind of manner.

it could be because you’re so used to running from law enforcement now.

or maybe because jeongguk showed you the world through his eyes. doesn’t mean it’s any less terrifying - the thought of being caught and shoved behind the bars whilst they included it in your records. but hey, at least, you’re no strangers to handcuffs.

“on one,” you say and he nods, hand squeezing yours as if saying i’ll never let them get you.

“three,” you begin, eyes fixed on the stars in jeongguk’s gaze, “two,” jeongguk breathes in deeply, “one.”

run.

x

note. i hope you guys enjoyed reading!! and if you want anything similar to this kind of style, i have one more college au. the second part of that one is my pinned post which also has a link to the first part. if you’re curious why i’m not gonna link or name it is because i’m convinced that tumblr literally makes anything that’s linked or mentioned it blocked for some reason idk.

but anyways, thank you for reading!!

[katsukisbimbo]

Not A Kid

part 10 - redemption arc

previous ⮕ next

masterlist

✯ pairing: hawks x reader

✯ genre: enemies-to-lovers au. expect crack

✯ summary: celeste, also known as y/l/n y/n, is the youngest pro hero to be in the top 10, at the young age of 19 she is occupying the #5 spot. she is also known for having a strong dislike for the #2 hero, who responds by irritating her even further, but what even caused her to hate him in the first place?

✯ a/n: phew okay so this is pretty short but it shows just what went down and now it’s hawks’ redemption arc!! also the taglist is full!!!

- you honestly didn’t think this through

- i mean, this was keigo we’re talking about

- why did you let him come over to talk when you knew you weren’t ready to see him

- he was basically dating miruko now, you didn’t understand how you factored into that equation

- was he coming here to tell you how happy he was with her?

- or brag about how much better she was than you?

- because if that was what he was going to do then you weren’t going to HESITATE to kick him where it really hurts

- hopefully he was here to apologize so that you could just get it over with and tell him you forgive him so that he could just l e a v e

- he doesn’t understand boundaries and doesn’t understand that you didn’t want anything to do with him

- sigh

- you didn’t want a repeat of the time where you went on a patrol with him

- “so how are you y/n” he mused as you too watched the city streets bustle underneath your feet

- “i’m fine hawks.” you grumbled as you brought your knees against your chest and rested your arms and head on them

- “what’s wrong dove? you seem,, down”

- “i just didn’t think that they’d make me patrol with you. after what happened between us. i just don’t feel comfortable working with you anymore” you sighed

- “listen y/n,, i’m so-Y/N” hawks gasped as you jumped down the current building you two were on

- you needed to get out of there

- he was coming too close again and you knew that you weren’t going to be able to handle that

- luckily there was a poor young man who seemed to be cornered by 3 buff looking guys who looked like they were up to no good

- “back away from him if you know what’s good for you :)” you declared as you landed right behind them

- before you could even move, all of them with ere already suspended in the air with familiar looking feathers

- you sighed

- who did he think he was getting involved when he KNEW you would be able to handle 3 thugs

- “y/n why’d you jump like that-“ he stammered as he reached to grab your arm but you pulled away from his touch as if you’d been burned

- keigo slowly retracted his arm with a look of hurt etched onto his face

- before you could reach out to him, he already turned his back and started walking towards the direction of the closest police station with the 3 thugs close behind him, still suspended in air

- “i’ll take care of these guys,, uhm,, you can just take that guy home” he murmured, barely looking over his shoulder

- you just nodded and made your way towards the quivering civilian who gladly let you escort him home

- by the time you got to their house, your patrol was already over, and hawks had texted you that the next people on duty had already taken over and that you were free to go home

- and now,, he was on his way to your home

- ready to talk about feelings

- and all that

- yuck

- you were about to go make yourself a cup of green tea to ease your nerves until

- “hey dove,,”

- y/n: hey keigo :)

- also y/n: STUPID FUCKING DINOSAUR!! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!!

- “hey,, you ready to talk?” you cocked your head to the side as you looked at hawks

- man this wasn’t fair at all

- he was here to talk to you about his feelings and here you were, in all your beautiful glory rendering him speechless

- “u-uh yeah i am” he awkwardly chuckled while scratching the back of his head

- “oh, okay then. feel free to sit” you mused as you sat on the white catch situated in the middle of your living room

- “i know i’ve said this a million times, and it’ll never be enough to make up for what i’ve done to you. but i just wanted to say i’m sorry. i wanted to tell you that i apologize for everything” he took a deep breath then continued

- “i’m sorry for ridiculing you online, and telling people that you were less, when you aren’t at all. you’re so much more,, you’re perfect y/n. i’m also sorry for trying to make light of the situation when we both knew that you were hurt”

- he paused to look at your expression but you kept your eyes trained to the spot on the couch behind his head

- “i did all of that because,,—“

- fuck he was so nervous

- he didn’t know how to tell her how much he loved her

- there was no words to explain how he felt

- “i’m in love with you. i’m fucking in love with you kid. i wanna wake up in the morning and see your pretty face snuggling into my chest. i wanna eat breakfast with you, lunch and dinner included. i wanna be there for you, reassure you and take care of you. i ridiculed you because you were too close kid”

- you slowly nodded and looked into his shining gold eyes

- “i know it’s stupid. and that it doesn’t make any sense. but i didn’t wanna bring you any pain, but i ended up doing that anyways. i’m so fucking sorry. dove,,, y/n,, please forgive me. i know that even if you do, it won’t replace the hurt you went through—dove,,” keigo softly exhaled as you threw yourself against his chest and started sobbing

- he cooed at your shaking figure and hugged you even closer to him

- your mind and your body were tired. they were tired of pretending and so were you. you couldn’t hold back anymore

- but that didn’t mean that keigo was going to get it easy

- “we’re okay now. but this doesn’t mean i forgive you. it just means i’m done loathing you. you have to try and earn my trust back.” you mumbled into his chest

- you felt his grip on you tighten even more as his shook while he chuckled

- you peeked up to look at his expression, only to see him peering down at you with a soft gaze in his eyes

- “i won’t let you down y/n. i love you too much to hurt you. and i hope one day you’ll reciprocate my feelings too.” he smiled

- “s-shut up! you’re still not forgiven! but are you hungry?” you questioned as you tried to slip out of his hold

- he laughed and just sat you completely on his lap

- “what do you have in mind baby?”

- god. he was going to be the death of you

- “do you,, want to order fried chicken?” you said as you shyly looked up at him

- “of course dove. you remembered?” “of course i did bird brain, it was all you ever wanted to eat whenever we went on dates-“ you slapped a hand against your mouth

- “you thought of them as dates too huh?” he smirked

-“sHUT UP” you screeched as you whacked a pillow into his stupid handsome face and ran away to order the chicken

-keigo was left on the couch, laying on his back, filled with giddy as you had finally let him back in. to be honest, keigo thought that you’d just kick him out and never talk to him again

-but here he was, laying on your couch while you ordered food in the other room. it was so.. domestic.

-and keigo loved it that way

TAGLIST

@nerdynstoned @myheroheacanons @kpopfan-cpop @breaking-ur-kneecaps @kukiisan @thechloethings @food8me @kittyddandnyla @imuziawi @hawksexual @iwaizumi-chan @procrastinationinawriter @x-a-delama-x @thenerdyrebel l @wisteriaa-js @princessmidas @roxybefab @d-2seoks @wasting-away-on-the-internet @mylovelyreblogs @monviemoo @udontneedtokno @thedamjokes @joeigiarts @kageyamauwu1 @importantknightalienneck @last-three-braincells @chrisrue15 @simixchan @yourlocalkpopandanimenerd @coconutabs @kuroosleftfoot @fern-writes-ig @icy-hot @adriloen @kissmeimnotirish @too-many-fandoms666 @damnirina @mirakeul @neglectedleo @makeyours @fxded-drxms @wthyuta @jooleuuh @peppermintkiddo @babskuroo @chidori-mint @vanillaicebaby @kabispit @blossom-chan

[bokutobaes]

inarizaki boys when you have a bad day

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆-with: atsumu, suna, kita

☆-!warnings!: swearing, parental issues, parents fighting, (there’s nothing physically violent), illness like the flu

☆-a/n: yall these are longgg LOL sorry

☆- author: lu <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ atsumu:

-his baby had a bad day :((

-just kidding he didn’t notice at first I’m so sorry nzjsjjsj

-your lockers are nearby so he’s usually waiting for you there first thing in the morning

-you woke up today with a headache and you were just really tired from studying last night :/

-you wanted to suck it up because it was your own fault for leaving the studying until the night before the test you had

-anyways, you were walking up to your locker lowkey trying to avoid eye contact with him

-“hi tsumu :)” u fricken liar with that fake smile

-“morning babe!” atsumu pulled u in for a back hug “i have to get to class kinda early for a test review so i’ll see you at lunch”

-and with that he was pecking your cheek and leaving

-“okay.. kind of good” you thought.. you didn’t wanna worry him or anything so you headed to you first class, math

-hell literally broke loose.. you forgot your pencil case and had to ask like 4 people until you got one which was embarrassing

-AND THEN the teacher called on you for an answer that you didn’t know like the universe

was against you or something

-“uhh... ummm i don’t know..” headass😩

-the class after that was slightly less dehumanizing but it was also japanese class.. the class you had a test in that you just barely studied for

-you did the test and lost braincells, blood sweat and tears LOL

-“okay class these will be graded by lunchtime so please come by to collect your scores before your next class”

-ogey :/ anyways u went to ur next class and before u knew it, it was lunch time.

-a text from atsumu made your phone vibrate while on your way to get your test scores

-“hey babe im actually gonna eat lunch with samu we’re practicing a bit at lunch”

-oh :) ok :) that’s fine :) not like u :) desperately:) need a hug :) right now :)

-“oh okay babe” you text back

-whatever u don’t need him independent queen

-that’s your mindset.. until you get those test scores

-it’s a literal fail .. did not pass the test.. ok..

-“y/n san, these test scores were not your usual best. I’m slightly disappointed, if there’s anything going on please let me know”

-“thank you sensei. i’ll do better next time.

-at this point you were just tying not to cry so you took your test and shouldered your bag and walked to a bench outside for some fresh air.

-right.. you didn’t bring lunch today

-so now you were hungry, tired, defeated, disappointed and lonely :,(

-the last class of your day went by quickly probably because you were zoned out the whole time

-the end of the day came and you were at your locker when your guardian texted you

-“Y/n, you had that test today right? I’m expecting to see the grade when your back home. Didn’t have time to make food tonight so find something to eat on your way home.”

-oh that test ? lol hahaha the one that you failed?! yeah that one haha lol lollll

-so with that, you started your walk home

-“y/n!!”

-fuck. atsumu.

-if you saw him now you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold in your tears and you really didn’t want to cry

-so your solution? pretend you didn’t hear him and walk faster lmfaokdhdh

-but atsumu, being.. well atsumu, decided to just full speed sprint towards you to put his shoulder around you

-“i literally know you heard me. i missed you today sorry about lun- why are you crying ?!!?”

-“bad day” you choked out before a shuddering gasp wracked your chest

-atsumu didn’t say anything he just wrapped you in a tight hug, petting you hair while you cried into his chest

-“its okay babe.. “ :(

-“you wanna come over? we can get food and cuddle”

-you nodded your head taking a shaky breath

-his hand reached out and wiped your tears, brushed your hair behind your ear and kissed your forehead like it was natural to him.

-and so you walked together hand in hand to atsumu’s house where you ate samu’s leftover onigiri and vented to atsumu about the day while you cuddled

-he also gave you a hoodie :,)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ suna:

-“living is a chore :|” you thought as the alarm rang through your room ruining your peaceful sleep

-it was raining outside and your mind went back to last night, the screaming match your parents had

-normally you’d be used to it but it felt like they were starting to take the anger they had for each other out on you now

-you tried not to but you started thinking about all the things your mom had yelled to you through the closed door of your bedroom

-“your just like your father. you’re selfish, lazy and all you do is run around with that little boyfriend of yours! what about your family?! you think your better then us? why don’t you move out then since your so good at being independent?!”

-everything she said was always completely blown out of proportion, she lied all the time. it’s exhausting for you

-you started getting ready for school, you wanted to see suna and your friends and laugh and just forget last night even happened

-when you got to school suna was there at your locker scrolling lazily through his phone

-you smiled, genuinely as he looked up and greeted you with a smirk

-“nice hair.”

-“wha-“ you started and then smacked his arm when you realized that your baby hairs were out of sorts “shutup” you scowled

-“good morning” suna hugged you

-“good morning”

-now you were off to class, it always went by too fast, you thought. school was always done in the blink of an eye

-“what’re you doing at lunch?” your friend tapped your shoulder and whispered to you

-“mmm nothing probably why?”

-“let’s eat on the roof today! yui told me there’s gonna be a rainbow cuz it stopped raining.”

-“okay” you smiled

-now at lunch with your friends you ate the bento you had packed before. the rainbow was there and it was beautiful

-you were having fun just laughing with your friends and texting suna while he sent terrible photos of atsumu. things were good, you had forgotten about your mom

-until the end of the day came and you had to go back home

-as usual suna was at his locker waiting so that you could walk home together

-after crossing the street you and suna were at a bike path, trees surrounding the fences

-it was a comfortable silence until...

-“what’s wrong?”

-suna asking took you by surprise, you didn’t think you were acting any different. were you?

-“what are you talking about”

-“you look sad, you did this morning too but then you were fine the rest of the day so I didn’t say anything. but, you look sad again now”

-“oh..”

-so suna just saw right through you

-“ um.. i’m okay.. it’s just ..” you laughed dryly “i don’t really want to go home”

-“did something happen?”

-“yeah.. my parents were fighting, it turned into this whole thing.” you felt a lump in your throat start to form “i don’t really wanna talk about it”

-“okay. you should just come over then, right?”

-“can i?”

-“you literally don’t even have to ask me anymore y/n” suna grabbed your hand and led the way

-when you got there suna hopped on his couch and started putting on something from netflix

-“my parents aren’t home, my sister has a dance thing today” he grabbed a blanket and you sat down, putting your head in his lap

-suna put on a comedy show, of course he would

-he played with your hair while you watched and after an episode or two, he asked

-“do you want to talk about it now?”

-and so you did, you told him what happened last night and what your mom said. your plan was to not cry but that failed miserably

-suna listened intently, he told you the truth, he said that what she said wasn’t true, he told you you could sleepover whenever you needed to.

-kissed you and wrapped you back in the blanket

-“i love you, you know that right? always.”

-he always knew what to say and you loved him for that

-“i love you too, suna”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ kita:

-kita knew, first thing he noticed when he saw you that you weren’t okay

-you woke up with a terrible headache, aching body and stomachache

-so this is it? this is hell? ok.

-but the test.. you had a test today. fortunately you had actually studied for weeks because you knew it was important

-mentally? you were ready for that test. physically? you had the spanish influenza

-so you weighed the options and decided you would go to school, take the test and then come back home after.

-the problem with that was that kita would in fact lecture you on all the reasons you should not have come to school

-he was right of course, but you still decided that you would need to avoid him for today

-spoiler alert it did not work

-your test was your third class of the day so you only had to get through 2 classes and you’d leave at lunch perfectly avoiding kita

-this was what you thought while you were at your locker until you closed it and walked directly into kitas chest

-“wow”

-“good morning y/n-chan”

-“morning kita! i have to go or I’ll be late!”

-you ran😭 and you almost got away too but kita grabbed your arm and pulled you to one side of the hallway

-he felt your forehead and both cheeks

-“you have a fever y/n”

-“no I don’t I’m just hot from walking to school”

-he said 😐

-you signed and rested your head on his chest letting your arms dangle

-“why did you come? you look sick”

-“thanks. I have a test.”

-“how do you feel?”

-you told him your symptoms but also that you were leaving right after the test and you could pull through

-he really didn’t want you to overwork yourself but he knew you were set on taking the test

-so he let you go and he made you promise to text him between classes and let him know if you felt any worse

-and off you went

-honestly, you were fine up until halfway through your second class.. then you started feeling really cold and tired even kind of nauseous

-then in the third class your test was put onto your desk and before you knew it your teacher was saying “begin”

-okay. you can do this you thought to yourself. the test was easy enough with how much you studied, you thought about every answer and you tried to finish quick

-but then it was like time cut itself in half and the bell for lunch was ringing

-you weren’t even done the test yet

-“y/n you can stay in here until your done but i expect you to have it finished soon”

-one question left

-you don’t even remember what you ended up putting before you were up and giving the paper to your teacher

-kita was right there when you left the classroom

-“hey ..hey.. y/n”

-you could barely hear him you just flopped into his arms

-“okay I’m taking you home.. “

-“but..”

-“shh let’s go”

-you don’t remember getting there but then you were in your bed smothered in pillows and blankets

-kita came in

-“what time is it?”

-he looked at his phone “half past 4”

-“4?!” you jolted up “did you even go back to school?” “kita?!”

-he smiled at you “no but it’s okay y/n it was only one day. i wanted to take care of you

-you noticed he had a steaming cup of something in his hands

-“what’s that” you asked

-“its tea, but it’s special tea :)”

-“what do you mean” you laughed

-“my grandma showed me how to make it, it’s gonna make you feel a lot better”

-he’s so cute...

-“kita... you didn’t have to do all this”

-“i wanted to” he sits beside you and hands you the tea

-literally tasted like heaven

-“mmmmm oh my god”

-kita laughed and kissed you on the cheek before joining you in the bed

-you cuddled and watched movies on your laptop until you fell asleep, comfortable in your boyfriends arms

[kurt-nightcrawler]

Decay

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Request 1: Omg I just read the I have a boyfriend and the opposites attract and I'm aksjksjeje. Idk if ur taking requests, but in case u are I need more on that mother nature reader and Warren pleaaaaseee!!! Maybe something with angst, like some conflict in their relationship, but with a happy would be greatttttt I absolutely love ur writing x

Request 2: I have a idea for mother nature x warren: how about an angsty fic about their first fight? And for the first time mother nature feels heartbreak and is really hurt. Her eyes are pitch black and empty. Usually, when she relaxes, she grows pumpkins etc. But this time all the vegatables are rotten or too small. Maybe you feel inspired by this :) (would be great if it has a happy ending though haha) Thank you, you're great!

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex, underage drinking, panic attack, and assault

Word Count: 8k

A/N: This took a long time but I hope you guys enjoy it! This builds more into Warren and Mother Nature’s relationship, probably set before fairytale

 Everything had been perfect. Halloween was coming up, and (Y/N) asked Jubilee if she’d do a group costume with her and another girl. 

Jubilee said yes, trusting (Y/N)’s opinion on people, for she always saw the good in them.

Jubilee took her, and the other girl, Jessie Rowe, to one of those pop up Halloween shops to look for costumes. 

“We can just get inspired if we don’t see anything perfect, you know?” Jubilee said. “We can always make our costumes.” (Y/N) nodded while looking at the different colored crayon costumes. 

“But it would be so much easier just to get one now. We could all go as like— sexy angels or something. In honor of Warren!” Jessie suggested. 

(Y/N) grimaced a little at the outfit Jessie held up. She didn’t feel comfortable wearing something so thin and tight at some house party on a cold October night. 

Jubilee laughed, “That’d be cute.” 

“Come on,” Jessie nudged her. “(Y/N), I bet your boyfriend would go nuts seeing you in this.”

“Mmm, I think he might find it kind of offensive or something…” She didn’t want to go as a sexy anything for Halloween. No offense to anyone who did dress sexy on Halloween, but that just wasn’t (Y/N)’s vibe. “Not my thing anyway…”

“Oh, come on! He wouldn’t be offended; Warren’s such an angel. I bet he’d fuck you if you wore this.” 

(Y/N)’s eyes went wide with shock. She’d never had someone be so blunt and explicit with her— Well, she had, but it wasn’t directed at her. 

“Um, we’re going to a party, Jess…” (Y/N) awkwardly reminded her. 

“I know, but you guys could sneak off somewhere or leave early. People do it all the time.” 

“What about vampires?!” Jubilee interrupted, holding packages of fake fangs in her hands. 

“Oh, that’d be fun! And we could get fake blood too!” Jessie put the angel outfit back on the rack and went to a different area with Jubilee. 

(Y/N) followed behind, thankful for the interruption, but still thinking about Jessie’s comment. 

“If you two do decide to fuck at the party, I want all the details…”

Why did she care so much if Warren and I are having sex?

She tried to focus on other things as Jubilee attempted to change the subject. 

“Fruits? Personally, I’d like to be a strawberry.” 

Jessie laughed, “We’re not in elementary.” Jubilee shrugged before holding up a banana costume and made a suggestive joke. Jessie and (Y/N) laughed at her. 

“I think we should be pink ladies.” Jessie morphed her voice to sound like Olivia Newton-John. 

“From Grease? But that’s so overdone,” Jubilee didn’t like the idea, but it was the first decent one Jessie had all day. 

“I mean, if someone else shows up in the same costume, we’re technically not matching…” (Y/N) said. 

“See?” Jessie smiled. “(Y/N)‘s smart!” 

“Alright, alright, give me some time. I’ll think about it,” Jubilee stated. 

“Trust me; you’ll come around.” 

-

Warren was lying in bed, fast asleep. He’d just showered after training with Mystique and got his ass kicked. Even when he thought he was getting better, he still wasn't as good as her. 

(Y/N) entered the room, excited to tell Warren about her Halloween costume plans. 

Sure, she could have just texted him, but she hadn’t seen him all day. 

“Warren, Angel baby—“ She quickly shut her mouth when she saw him sprawled over his bed, fast asleep. 

She cooed over his sleeping figure, tempted to leave him as he was. 

What if he’s been asleep for hours? Or all morning? It’s still light out, though. I better wake him up anyway.

(Y/N) tapped his shoulder and said his name a few times, trying to get a response from him. 

He slowly stirred in his slumber, waking up from (Y/N)‘s interruption. “Hmm?...”

“Hey, War,” 

“Mmm… what time is it?” 

“3:48.” 

“Join me.” (Y/N) sat on his bed, sitting next to him as he shifted, snuggling next to her, and slowly woke up. “How’d shopping go with Jubilee?” 

“It was alright.” (Y/N) massaged his scalp as she retold her day. “Jessie kept shooting down our ideas and the ones she had Jubilee never really liked, so we didn’t exactly settle on anything…” 

Warren looked up at her. “I thought you guys were going as crayons?” 

“Jessie said no.”

“Why?”

(Y/N) shrugged, “She suggested we go as sexy angels.” 

Warren’s facial expression was piqued with interest, despite him trying not to show it. 

“I said that would be offensive to you, and we’d freeze to death anyway.” 

Warren chuckled, “I’ll be there to keep you warm.”

“Aren’t you gonna be shirtless?” 

“Maybe. I said I might— Roger Taylor didn’t wear a shirt most of the time.” 

Warren was teaming up with Kurt, Scott, and Peter to dress up as Queen, the rock band, for Halloween. 

“You could get sick! It might even rain on Halloween, which will make you even colder!”

“I’ll be fine.” Warren wasn’t too worried. 

“Wear a jacket, please.” 

“I will. I will…”

(Y/N) huffed, “Good… Cause if you don’t, I’ll bring you one, and it will be tacky and ugly and totally ruin your costume.  So you better bring one…” She jokingly threatened. 

Warren chuckled, “Yes, Mom.” (Y/N) laughed at his demeanor. 

Warren looked up at her, lifting his head up, lips puckered. A way of silently asking for a kiss. 

(Y/N) complied, and gave him a peck on the lips. 

“Wanna get some food? I’m kind of hungry.” 

Warren nodded. He finally, and officially, got out of bed since his nap, (Y/N) next to him. 

As they were about to leave his room, a leaf fell from (Y/N)‘s head. 

“You dropped a leaf.” 

She frowned, eyes purple with embarrassment, “That’s the fifth one this week.” 

Warren bent down to pick it up. “It’s fall. I’m surprised you still have a few left.” 

“I’ve still got about a month.” 

The vines wrapped around (Y/N)’s legs and the leaves in her hair were shedding— Just like the trees outside, as the weather dropped and plants prepared for winter. 

Warren took the leaf and set it in a book. He liked to press any of (Y/N)‘s leaves he could get his hands on. 

She thought it was silly, they were just leaves, but Warren liked them. 

(Y/N) rummaged through the fridge for something to eat. 

“I think there’s leftover Chinese from last night,” Warren told her. 

“Yeah, but I don’t want to take those. They aren’t mine.” 

“You can say I ate them. Ororo and Kurt took my pizza after we went to East Village Pizza.” 

“Didn’t you label the box?” 

Warren nodded, “Yeah, but it’s Kurt and Ororo. They ignored it.” 

(Y/N) stifled a laugh as she took out some milk, deciding to make mac and cheese. 

“They’re the only ones who don’t fear me.” He joked. 

“Hey! I’m right here… and besides—“ She turned the stovetop on. “—No one here “fears” you. Not even the little kids. Jamie Donaldson told me he wanted to be you for Halloween.” 

Warren tilted his head slightly in confusion.

The water in the pot had reached a boil and (Y/N) poured the dried noodles into it. “He said you were his hero. That he wanted to be like you when he got older.” 

Warren dismissed it, “His friends are gonna tease him.” 

“I’m sure they already do… he has gills… Deny it all you want, Worthington, but you’re not tough as nails. Underneath the metal, you’re a big softie who cries during The Notebook, and helps Alex teach the second graders.” 

“Babe, everyone cries during the notebook, and I had a free period, and Alex needed help.” 

(Y/N) nodded, “Mmhmm… well, you can’t let Jamie down. It would crush him.” 

“I’m no—“ Warren stopped. 

“You’re no what?” (Y/N) teased nonchalantly. She knew what he was going to say. 

“You’ve trapped me.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“I’m not gonna say it.” 

(Y/N) mixed the milk, butter, and cheese powder in a separate bowl. “Say what?” 

“Oh, so that’s how we’re gonna play it?”

“You’re too hard on yourself! Be honest and caring for once.” (Y/N) pouted. 

“I’m not saying it. It’s dumb and cheesy.” 

“Fine. Then you don’t get any of my mac and cheese.”

“I’ll steal some when you’re not looking.” 

(Y/N) widened her eyes for comical intimidation. “I’m always looking.” 

Warren crossed his arms, “I’m still not going to say it.” 

“Please…” 

“I’m a bad person, (Y/N), I’ve done bad things…”

(Y/N) chuckled lightly, “Isn’t your therapist Brenda helping you not sound like Batman so much?” 

“Yeah.” 

(Y/N) kissed his nose. “Okay, Angel.” 

“(Y/N), I’m not—“

“Yes, you are! Say it.” 

“Fine,” He caved. “I’m an angel.” 

“Say it like you mean it. A positive tone of voice and affirmations improve a plant’s lifestyle and growth.” 

Warren couldn’t deny the small smile on his face, “I’m an angel.” 

(Y/N) squealed and kissed Warren’s lips. His cheeks were red, for he was flustered. 

“Can you get some bowls? Mac and cheese is done.”

“Yeah, sure.” Warren got two bowls and forks for them both and set them on the counter. 

(Y/N) scooped some macaroni into both bowls, then she and Warren sat on the barstools on the other side of the counter and chowed down. 

Jessie entered the kitchen as they ate their food. 

“Hey, (Y/N). Hey, Warren.” 

“Hey, Jessie! I just made some Mac and cheese if you’re hungry.” 

“I’m good, thanks. I don’t really eat carbs.”

“Oh… Okay…” (Y/N) looked down nervously at her bowl, trying to hide her purple eyes.

“Yeah, they just don’t agree with me, ya know?”

(Y/N) nodded, “Yeah, yeah, I don’t really like hot Cheetos.”

“See? We’re practically one and the same.” Jessie smirked.

Warren’s gaze kept shifting between the girls. He was confused at the tone of the conversation. 

“Anyway, I came down here looking for you.” She said to (Y/N). 

“Really? What’s up?” 

“I convinced Jubilee that we should go as pink ladies.” 

“That’s great!” 

Jessie nodded, “We’re gonna get the stuff we need for our costumes tomorrow.” 

“Sounds good to me.” (Y/N) said. 

“Uh, huh… what are you going as for Halloween?” Jessie asked Warren. 

“A few other guys and I are going as Queen.” 

“Ooooo! I love their music.” 

Warren nodded, “Scott’s going as John Deacon, Peter’s going as Brian May, I’m going as Roger Taylor, and Kurt’s going as Freddie Mercury.” 

Her voice shifted to a flawless British accent, “Well, I’m sure you’ll look amazing, darling.”

Warren laughed, “Thanks.” 

“Of course… (Y/N) I’ll talk to you later about Halloween stuff.” 

“Okay. See you later.”

As Jessie sauntered away, Warren was a bit unsettled by Jessie’s attitude but was more worried about his girlfriend.

“You need to eat some carbs…” (Y/N) mumbled. 

“She’s probably just doing some fad diet,” Warren reassured her. 

“I dunno…” 

Warren shrugged and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, “There’s no harm in eating macaroni… and no matter what you do, you’ll always be healthier than Peter.”

“Oh god, yeah,” (Y/N) jokingly grimaced. No offense to Pete’s lifestyle, but consuming only twinkies and Diet Pepsi would not go down well for Mother Nature, or anyone else. 

“I’m gonna save the rest for later.” (Y/N) went through a cabinet looking for some Tupperware. 

“Alright. Want me to put what we didn’t touch in another container?” 

“Sure.” 

—

The girls all grabbed pink ladies jackets and paid for them. 

“I was thinking we wear all black— heels, shirt, and leggings or maybe like a skirt or something.” 

“Heels?!” Jubilee shrieked. “You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna wear heels all night on Halloween.” 

“It’s just for pictures,” Jessie reassured her. “And besides, you’ll kick them off at the door anyway.” 

“Why would I wanna roam around barefoot at a party?” 

“(Y/N)‘s barefoot all the time. To feel one with nature.” 

(Y/N) furrowed her brows, eyes orange. “No, I’m not. I rarely ever do that…” 

Jessie held up her hands in surrender, “Well, I heard it from Nancy Robinson…”

“She’s wrong… I told her I connect easily with plants.” 

“She must have misunderstood.” 

(Y/N) nodded, unsettled. 

“Do you guys wanna go to the mall? There’s this cute little black dress at Forever 21 I wanna get for Halloween.” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“I need to get some more foundation at Sephora,” Jessie stated. 

“Good, cause we were going anyway.” Jubilee joked threateningly. Jessie and (Y/N) laughed. 

As they walked around the Sephora, Jubilee scanned the isles for blue eyeshadows in different shades. 

“Kurt asked me to do his makeup for Halloween. He wanted some 70s glam rock.” 

“You’re gonna do a great job!” (Y/N) told her. 

“For sure— I’m also doing Warren’s and Peter’s too.” 

“They’re all going to look great. I hope we can get a group photo of them before they get all sweaty and tired out.” 

Jubilee nodded, smiling, while she placed all her items on the counter to be rung up. 

“Why didn’t Warren ask you to do his makeup?” Jessie asked. 

“Oh, uh… I dunno.” (Y/N) shrugged. “I’m not very good at super dramatic glittery looks.” 

“I’m just surprised he didn’t ask you, is all. I thought he would’ve, considering you’re dating.” 

“I mean, he’ll probably ask to borrow my mascara or something... It’s not a big deal.”

Jessie raised her eyebrows in questioning before paying for her foundation. “If Scott was going to wear makeup, I’m sure he’d ask Jean to do it for him.” 

“Scott would just want an excuse for his face to be inches away from Jean’s face, and for her to constantly be gazing into his eyes and glancing at his lips. Until they finally break the tension and spend the whole time making out, and Scott’s still not even wearing any makeup by the end.” Jubilee states. 

“That’s very specific… Also, don’t they kind of do that already, anyway?” (Y/N) asked. 

“Yeah,” Jubilee chuckled. 

“Still, I don’t know why Warren didn’t ask you.” Jessie interrupted. “Maybe you should ask him.” 

(Y/N) nodded, “Yeah, uh, I— I might.” 

—

Warren was lounged on (Y/N)’s bed, focusing on a textbook assignment. 

“Why didn’t you ask me to do your makeup?” 

Warren looked up. “Hmm?”

“Jubilee said you asked her to do your makeup for Halloween… I could’ve done it.” 

“Oh, uh, I mean Kurt asked her to do his, and then Peter asked her, and we both figured why not do mine too? She’s just going to do some eyeliner and highlighter. It’s no big deal.” 

“Oh…” (Y/N)’s eyes flashed purple. 

“Do you want to do my makeup?” 

(Y/N) shook her head, her eyes slightly red and orange. “Never mind… It was stupid… I’m not even that good at makeup…” 

Warren blinked, no longer focused on his homework. “Are you okay?” 

“What? Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“I mean, if you wanna do my makeup, go ahead. I don’t care. If it’s that big of an issue—“

“It’s not an issue. I was just wondering why you didn’t ask me.” 

“I didn’t think you’d want to do my makeup.” 

(Y/N) pursed her lips. He was kind of right. She really couldn’t have cared less— Halloween was proving to be so stressful already. 

“Yeah…” She mumbled. 

“See, problem solved.” 

A weird feeling of tension filled the air. 

Warren and (Y/N) never fought, and they rarely argued or bickered over things that weren’t Warren’s low self-esteem. 

Despite him saying, “Problem solved.” It didn’t feel that way. 

—

Warren barged into Peter and Scott’s room. Inside were Scott, Kurt, and another kid. 

“(Y/N) and I had an argument—“ Warren glanced at the short blonde guy sitting on Scott’s bed. “Who is he?”

“Warren, this is Bobby. Bobby, this is Warren,” Scott introduced. “Bobby’s new, he’s a freshman, and we’re kind of the only guys his age, so he’s just hanging out with us.” 

“Hi,” Bobby awkwardly waved at Warren. 

He waved back, “Hey.” 

“Anyway— what happened with you and (Y/N)?”

Warren sat down on Peter’s bed. “We got into an argument about the dumbest thing…”

Kurt squinted his eyes in confusion, “That’s not— you guys don’t do that… Or is that a normal thing for most American couples? All the fighting and yelling.”

“Okay, first off Blue, you need to stop watching sit-coms with Jean and Jubilee where the middle-aged suburban couple’s hate each other’s guts. Second, we weren’t yelling, and it wasn’t really a fight fight, but there was uncomfortable tension.”

The other three boys were focused solely on Warren, waiting for him to explain more. 

“She like got mad I didn’t ask her to do my makeup for Halloween, but then she wasn’t mad and said she didn’t even want to do my makeup. And like we settled it, but I still felt weird afterward. Almost like we didn’t settle it.” 

Kurt was baffled, unsure of what to say. Scott was taking a moment to formulate a good response, but before he could even open his mouth, Bobby spewed some words of… wisdom.

“(Y/N)— I’m assuming you guys are dating, right?” Warren nodded. 

“Okay… (Y/N) doesn’t care about who’s doing your makeup. She’s upset over something else but is using the makeup as a cover-up. She doesn’t want to admit she’s upset over… whatever she’s upset over, but she’s upset, so little things like, you not asking her if she’d do your makeup, are going to make her like, really mad, even if it seems like they shouldn’t or ordinarily wouldn’t.

You have to get her to talk, or find out from one of her girlfriends, what’s really upsetting her.” 

The other boys left their mouths gaping, blinking in shock. 

“You’re like, fourteen, why’d you give such good advice?” 

Bobby shrugged, “My parents fight a lot. They need a divorce, but they’ll never get one.” 

“I was gonna tell you to apologize…” Scott sheepishly admitted.

“Apologize for what?” 

“I— I don’t know…” 

“She said she was stressed out about Halloween…” Warren confessed. 

“There you go—“ Bobby exclaimed. “—She’ll be fine. Don’t even worry about the little lovers’ quarrel you guys had.” 

Warren nodded, feeling a little bit better about the situation.

He still wanted to talk to (Y/N), though. 

—

“Hey, Jubes!” 

“Oh, hey, Jessie. I was just headed to Bio, what’s up?”

“I heard, a few freshmen girls are going as Pink Ladies for Halloween—“

“And?” Jubilee hugged her binder tight in her arms. 

Jessie huffed, “We just can’t go as the same thing as some freshmen girls!” 

“Why not? Halloween is in two days! We can’t just change our costumes at the last minute.” 

“Jubes, we’ll look like freshmen. We can’t have that!” Jubilee opened her mouth to object, but Jessie didn’t let her. 

“(Y/N), and I already agreed we should switch. We’re going to go as the plastics from Mean Girls.” Jessie’s voice had shifted to sound like Rachel McAdams. “I’m gonna be Regina, and (Y/N) will be Karen.” 

“Okay, that’s fine. I can go return my jacket.” 

“Yeah!” Jessie grinned. “Plus you can wear your shirt that says “On Wednesdays we wear pink! Perfect!” 

Jubilee smiled, “Yeah… Well, uh, I gotta go—“ She motioned to the door. 

“Right! Don’t wanna make you tardy. I’ll see you later!” 

“See ya.” 

Weird, Jubilee thought to herself as she took a seat in Dr. McCoy’s classroom. But not unusual for Jessie, always changing her mind… She’s so wishy-washy on things… Oh well.

—

(Y/N) was quickly trying to finish her makeup and get dressed so she could help the little kids trick or treat. 

Older students could volunteer to take the younger one’s trick or treating until 9, and then if they wanted, they could go to whatever house party the locals from the public school in the area were hosting. 

Luckily for the X-Men, Jubilee was extremely popular with the public schoolers, and they were invited to most house parties.

Ororo had already left, for she had just worn a unicorn onesie she borrowed from Peter. 

“I think this is his sister’s, but hey! It’s comfy.” 

“You look great!” (Y/N) only glanced at Ororo, for she was worried about her own look for the night.

“Thanks, I’m sure you’re going to look great too. Don’t sweat it… you have a half-hour left.”

“I’ll meet you downstairs with the others!” 

“Sounds good to me.” 

The others being Scott, Jean, Kurt, and Warren. Jubilee, Peter, and Jessie had decided to skip the trick-or-treat assist and go straight to partying. 

Warren knocked on (Y/N)’s door, asking if she was ready. 

She opened it and stepped out. 

Warren glanced up and down, checking her out. She looked good. Then again, she always looked good. 

(Y/N) did the same, checking her boyfriend out. Maybe I should have gone as a slutty angel to compensate… Warren looks… hot.

Tight leather pants, a sparkly fringed vest with nothing underneath— showing off his toned abs— his classic, worn-out combat boots, and his makeup. Jubilee did an excellent job with it. 

Her eyes were magenta. 

Warren kissed her cheek. “You look great, babe!” 

“Uh… thanks… um… you— you…”

Warren chuckled, “I look stupid, don’t I?”

“No! No— you look, whatever the opposite of stupid is… Stupidly hot, maybe…” (Y/N) felt like a pile of mush. 

And for what? Warren in tight pants, no shirt, and black lines on his face? That was a regular Tuesday look for him. 

“Maybe?” He teased. (Y/N) avoided eye contact, her eyes a vibrant purple.

Warren intertwined one of his hands with her and kissed her cheek again. “You’re adorable.” 

“Thanks…” 

—

The gang made their way to the party a little after 9. It was in full swing by then, with loud music vibrating the outdoors. It just got amplified as they walked in. 

“I’m gonna look for Peter,” Warren told (Y/N). 

“I’m gonna try to find Jubilee and Jessie, get some group photos.” They parted ways, agreeing to meet up again later. 

(Y/N) got distracted along the way— she danced to the Monster Mash with Jean and Kurt, helped with any trick or treaters that came to the door, (despite it not being her house), and she took a few photos with a group of freshmen also dressed up as pink ladies. 

“Where are they?” 

She spotted Jubilee’s big mop of black curls and quickly made her way over.

“Oh my gosh! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” 

Jubilee and (Y/N) stared at each other, both extremely puzzled.

“Um…”

“Uh…” 

“I thought we were going as pink ladies?”

“I thought we switched to The Plastics.” 

“What?” (Y/N) asked.

Jubilee took a sip from her cup, “Jessie told me you guys agreed on us switching to the plastics cause a bunch of freshmen were going as pink ladies.” 

“She never said anything to me bout going as the plastics. I haven’t seen her in like, two days.”

“What?” Jubilee was beyond confused. 

“Yeah, I thought we were still all going as pink ladies. I even saw the freshmen you’re talking about, and they took photos with me!”

“That’s nice…” 

“Why didn’t you clear this up with me, Jubes?” (Y/N) asked, her eyes slowly turning grey. 

“I thought Jessie did. I was busy trying to scope out a good place to crash and party at.”

(Y/N) crossed her arms, “Where is Jessie, anyway?” 

“I think she’s in the kitchen.” 

—

Warren was trying to have fun at the party. He didn’t drink as he did in Germany, so everything just seemed less exciting… but with his friends, they never failed to disappoint. 

He wanted to find Peter so they could get group pictures before a group of girls swarmed Kurt, fawning over his accent, soft blue fur, and gymnast body. Before Scott gave a little pep talk on safety to whichever friends would listen and then run off to make out with Jean in the nearest bathroom. And then he wanted to spend time with his girlfriend. 

He found Kurt, no problem— but finding their Brian and John was proving much more difficult. 

“Maybe Peter shouldn’t have worn a wig. We usually spot him due to his grey hair.”

“Then it wouldn’t go with the costume,” Kurt pointed out. “And the whole group would look out of place.” 

“I guess so…” Warren spotted Scott as they walked into the kitchen. He was talking to the new kid— Bobby— with Jean next to him. “Let’s get Scott.” 

Kurt waved at the group, and they motioned him over. 

“Hey, guys! This is Bobby,” Jean introduced.

“We already met,” Warren explained. “Have you seen Peter?” 

Jean shook her head. 

“I think I saw him—“ Bobby spoke up while filling up a cup from the “monster mix” punch bowl. “He had on a big curly brown wig…?” 

Kurt nodded, “Ja, that’s him!” 

Bobby handed Kurt and Warren cups. Warren sighed quietly to himself. He didn’t want a drink of some mystery liquid. He knew there was probably alcohol— Bobby probably didn’t, though— the kid was a freshman. Warren didn’t have time to refuse it though, for Bobby told Kurt where he last saw Peter, and then— bamf!

Kurt teleported him and Warren to that same place. The backyard. 

Warren felt a little nauseated— he hadn’t eaten anything all night except for a few pieces of candy, and the smell of sulfur was disgusting. 

Peter ran up to them and quickly noticed Warren’s turmoil. 

“Oh, dude! Here— drink up—“ He quickly put Warren’s cup in his mouth and almost forced him to drink up the “monster mix.” 

“Peter—“ Kurt scolded. “That’s not water!”

Peter’s face paled. “Oh shit. Shit! Dude, I’m sorry— I thought— cause you don’t drink—“

“Bobby gave it to me… He doesn’t know any better. I can handle myself. It’s one drink.” 

Peter almost scoffed at the mention of Bobby. “Who invited him?”

“Probably, Scott.” 

“Why?”

“I dunno… Make him feel included, I guess…”

“You good?” Kurt asked Warren. 

He nodded, “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Let’s get Scott… Come on…”

They decided to walk back to the kitchen, like ordinary people.

Bobby was gone, but Scott was still there, along with Jean, and Ororo was there too this time. 

“Did Bobby give you the monster mix?” Peter asked.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, dude— I had like three cups of it, and I feel a little tipsy— I think— but dude! I’m so sorry—“

“Peter, it’s fine. It just burned a little going down. It was only one drink— I’ll be fine. Stop worrying.” 

“Okay…” 

“Hey! You found him.” Jean smiled. “Photo time!” 

Everyone smiled and got into various poses and huddled little groups to take many silly pictures— many of them not even ending up on the group’s Instagrams— but still fun nonetheless. Jean telekinetically held up her phone so that everyone could be included in the pictures. 

Warren could feel himself getting a little tipsy as they kept taking photos, but he ignored it. 

“Oh my god! Warren!” It was Jessie. Not in a pink ladies costume. 

Weird… 

“(Y/N)’s been looking for you— come on, I’ll take you to her.” She grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the kitchen. 

He squinted his eyes, puzzled as to what was going on. 

They were walking upstairs. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Upstairs.”

It was dark. 

Warren couldn’t see the figure in front of him too well anymore.

The highly spiked drink he had was starting to get to him.

The voice sounded like (Y/N)’s. 

“You— You sounded like, (Y/N).” 

She giggled lightly, “I am (Y/N), silly.” 

“Oh.” 

She led him upstairs into an empty room. The lights were off. He still couldn’t see her very well. 

“Angel, baby,” She cooed. “I missed you.” 

“I missed you too.” He went to go and turn on a light, but she stopped him. 

“Leave them off… I wanna have fun tonight…” 

“Oh?” Is she talking about earlier, before we left the mansion? Has she been drinking? I would like to do stuff but—

“Mmhmm…” She kissed his neck and kept kissing him, leading up to his lips. He kissed her back, hands on her until they got near her neck— he wanted to tug on her hair a little, but upon touching it, he realized something was wrong.

He didn’t have time to figure it out, though, for someone opened the door. 

Warren and the other person turned to see who it was. 

It was Jubilee and (Y/N). 

—

“Have you seen Jessie?” (Y/N) asked. 

Her friends in the kitchen eyed her and Jubilee up, confused— weren’t they supposed to go as the same thing for Halloween? 

“Um, she was just here. She said you were looking for Warren, and then they went upstairs.”

Jubilee glanced at (Y/N) nervously. That wasn’t a good sign. 

“Thanks.” (Y/N) and Jubilee headed upstairs to find the two. 

Once they got to the top of the stairs, they walked around, trying to open every door they could to no prevail. 

“Wait— Shh!” Jubilee whispered. She motioned to a door they hadn’t opened yet. 

(Y/N) didn’t waste any time opening the door. 

She wished she did, though.

Because she saw them.

Warren and Jessie, so close together. It looked like they had been kissing moments ago. 

When Warren’s eyes met (Y/N)’s, she felt sick to her stomach. He looked lost, confused even. 

He looked almost terrified. 

—

Warren looked over at the girl who he thought was (Y/N). The light from the open door revealed it was Jessie. 

Warren started internally panicking. He kissed Jessie thinking it was (Y/N)! 

She can change her voice to sound like whoever she wants! How could I think— So stupid of me! 

He looked over at (Y/N), trying to form words to say. Her eyes— they’d turned completely black. He couldn’t tell her iris and pupil apart. They’d never been pitch black before. 

“(Y/N)! Jubilee! Thank goodness! I was looking for you guys—“ 

“No, you weren’t… What’s going on?” 

“Warren’s drunk he thought I was you and he tried to come onto me—“

“No, I didn’t!” (Y/N) glared at Warren meticulously, making him shut up.

“He kissed me! Can you believe it?! He couldn’t tell his own girlfriend apart from me, and he was forceful!” Jessie stepped away from him in “fear.” 

“You’re lying— I would never—“

(Y/N) wasn’t even paying attention anymore. Everyone could see that. 

“I’m going home.” 

“What? (Y/N)—“ 

She glared at Jessie, “Fuck off. I don’t want to talk to you anymore. And you—“ She looked at Warren. She felt her heart breaking, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She didn’t know what to think, and she was so tired. “We’ll talk about this later. I’m leaving.” 

“(Y/N)—“ 

—

She took a ride home with the freshmen girls. They didn’t ask why she needed one or why her eyes were all black. 

(Y/N) wasn’t in the mood to answer them anyway. 

How could he do this? It doesn’t feel right! But Jessie— Jessie wouldn’t lie to me. Would she?

She was snapped out of her thought when one of the girls gasped. 

“Look! Look at all the plants! They’re all dead! Even the carved pumpkins are rotting.” 

“Yeah, Lily, that’s what plants do—“

“No, look!” Everyone looked through the car window, shocked by what they saw. 

(Y/N) took one look at the dead plants and started shaking. She didn’t have the strength to bring them back to good health. 

It worried her, but her mind kept focusing on Warren…

—

Jubilee dragged her friends outside to the front yard. She had Jean use her powers to keep them from running off anywhere. 

A few people were watching, but she couldn’t have cared less.

“Okay! What the hell happened? And none of the bullshit you told (Y/N) earlier! I know you took Warren upstairs, Jess. I know you didn’t tell (Y/N) we changed our group costume at the last minute, and I usually don’t say this kind of stuff, and I've held it back for (Y/N)’s sake, especially since she felt bad for you! And asked if you could do a group costume with us.” Jubilee was practically fuming, sparks almost igniting in her hands. 

“You’re kind of a bitch.” 

“Jubilee! Warren tried to fuck me! He was drunk and not acting right, and he started kissing me and stuff!”

“Warren doesn’t drink!” 

Kurt glanced at Peter and Scott before speaking up, “Warren had one drink…”

“Okay? That’s not going to get him shitfaced enough to fuck you!” Jubilee stared at Warren, trying to see if he’d finally speak.    

“I was a little tipsy, and Jessie said you and (Y/N) were upstairs. It got dark, and I thought I heard (Y/N) talking to me, but I think it was just Jess. She started kissing me, and it took me a minute, but I realized it wasn’t (Y/N). Then you guys came in.”

Everyone was in shock about Warren’s side of the story. 

“Isn’t it illegal to lie about this kind of stuff… and to kiss someone without consent?” Kurt whispered to Scott.

“Probably.” 

“He’s lying!” Jessie exclaimed. 

“Jean, read my mind. Read Jessie’s. I’m not lying!”

“He’s a monster! Why should you believe him?!” Jessie spat.

Warren was disgusted by her words. “You tried to fuck me!” 

“And with all your weird questions and comments about their sex life, I’m not surprised you kissed Warren,” Jubilee stated angrily.

“He kissed me back!” 

“He thought you were someone else!” 

“Guys! Shut up!” Jean told them. “I’m trying to focus!” 

She dove into Warren’s mind to see the events play out before her. She did the same when in Jessie’s mind. 

“Warren was telling the truth.”

—

As (Y/N) walked into her room, every plant in there withered and died. 

Typically, she’d fall to the ground and sob for accidentally killing what she practically considered her children, but she felt too numb. She kicked off her shoes and flopped onto her bed. The vines around her bed didn’t even move out of her way. They were lifeless and still, just like her.

(Y/N) was restless trying to sleep. She only slept for about fifteen minutes, and when she awoke, she was covered in ivy… poison ivy. 

Most of the time, when she was restless, she’d grow a watermelon or a pumpkin in her sleep, but this was new. She didn’t want to spread it to Ororo or let her see that she killed all the plants in the room. 

She grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, scribbling down a note for Ororo, telling her what happened and for her to not come in until the ivy went away, and it was safe. 

She quickly tapped the note to the door and locked herself inside. 

The rest of the gang quickly headed home. They didn’t notice all the decaying plants outside. 

Scott parked in the garage. 

“Hey, Kurt…”

“Ja, Ororo?”

“I need to check on some of the plants in the attic. I didn’t have enough time to water them all before we went out. Can you take me up there?” 

Kurt nodded, “Yeah, of course.” 

They were gone in the blink of an eye. 

Everyone else was lingering around, deciding on what to do. 

“I’m going to go talk to (Y/N)—“

A blood piercing scream interrupted Warren’s words. 

“Oh my god! Is that Ororo?” 

“I think so!” 

Jean used her telepathic powers to see what was wrong. 

“All the plants… they’re dead!” 

“Jean, check the fridge. See if the fruits and vegetables are alright,” Xavier instructed.

She opened the fridge, and to her horror, the produce rotted.

“But— I went with Sean and Raven to the grocery store two days ago! It shouldn’t have all gone bad.” Peter was puzzled.

“Do you think it was (Y/N)?” Jubilee asked. 

“I’m gonna go talk to her.” Warren head off to her dorm room. 

He felt so guilty and heartbroken. Even though it technically wasn’t his fault, he felt pathetic for not being able to tell his girlfriend apart from a stranger in the dark. 

He kissed Jessie! Nothing was going to undo that. 

Warren stopped at (Y/N)’s door, about to knock, but he was distracted by the note on it. He removed it off the door and read it. 

“I’m not feeling great right now, and I accidentally grew some poison ivy when I took a nap. I’m trying to get it to go away, but for now, people shouldn’t come in. I don’t want it to spread around. Also, I killed all the plants in our room. They’re going to be fine, but for now, I can’t help them.”

Warren knocked on the door, holding the note in his hand. “(Y/N)?” 

“You can’t come in here.” 

“Can you open the door?” He pleaded. 

“No, you can’t get close to me. The ivy came from me. I don’t want it to spread.”

“I won’t come in.” 

“Warren,” She cried. “Can’t you just wait?!” 

“I want— I need you to know what actually happened.”

It was silent from (Y/N)’s side of the door.

“(Y/N)?...” 

She didn’t respond, but Warren heard her unlocking and opening the door. He took a few steps back to respect her boundaries and commands. 

He took in her appearance. She switched from her pink ladies outfit to some pajamas. She didn’t wash her makeup off makeup, so it smeared all over her face.

Her hair was messy and her eyes… her eyes were pitch black. 

“I went to go look for Peter. I looked in the kitchen and didn’t see him. The new kid— Bobby— he gave me a drink, and I didn’t know how to explain I didn’t want it. Kurt teleported me to the back porch when we got word Peter was outside. I hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, so I felt a little sick. Peter came over to us and noticed I looked bad and had me force down whatever was in my cup. He assumed it was water or something else non-alcoholic, cause I don’t drink.”

“I was like, ‘this is fine. It’s one drink of vodka, cranberry sprite, some hooch, and like whatever else was in the monster mix.’ Then we took photos in our Queen costumes and goofed around for an hour. I was getting a little tipsy, but I didn’t think it was that bad. Jessie came in, saying you were looking for me. And she just dragged me upstairs. It was extremely dark, and my brain was getting a little fuzzy, and Jessie shifted her voice to sound like yours… She led me into a dark room and said she wanted to like, hook up, or do stuff. I tried to explain to her I’d been drinking, but she started kissing me before I could.” 

(Y/N) stood on the other side of the door, listening inventively to Warren. 

“I kissed her back. Then I realized it wasn’t you— it didn’t feel right— and then you walked in.” 

(Y/N) sighed. She was sure he was telling the truth. Their friends wouldn’t let him come up and see her otherwise. 

“I am so sorry…” 

“Yeah, um… Jessie’s kind of… kind of mean. But like— I just— I got so upset because of a lot of different things. Um, Jessie had been asking and saying stuff about our relationship— saying like, we should have sex after the party, I should hoe it up more, or trying to get me to accuse you of not trusting me cause you didn’t ask me to do your makeup… and I just thought she was being weird or whatever, cause like, those were the vibes she’d given me almost all the time. I never thought she simply wouldn’t like me. Especially since I asked if she wanted to do a group costume with Jubilee and me… and I just—“ (Y/N) scrunched her nose. “I don’t let stuff like that get to me, but… but I’m so inexperienced, and you’re not. I don’t really care if people talk about whatever they do behind closed doors. I don’t care about that… I just don’t want people interpreting that I’m like the Virgin Mary, or there’s a problem in our relationship, cause there’s not. There’s not!” 

(Y/N) started crying. She was crying and shivering, and poison ivy started growing and wrapping itself around her body. 

“I’m not mad at you. I just…” She sighed. 

“...Am I not enough?”

“What?” Warren was confused.

“Would you leave me for her? Or anyone else?”

“No. Never— I should have done more, I shouldn’t have followed her or let myself believe it was you— I’m so fucking stupid.” 

Her voice was stern. “No. You’re not stupid. I just… I just need some time to think and be alone right now.”

“Whatever you want,” Warren nodded timidly. “I’ll tell Ororo she needs to sleep with Jean and Jubilee for the night… Although I doubt she’ll leave the attic.” 

“What happened in the attic?”

“All the plants in the attic died… She’s extremely torn up about it… (Y/N)?”

(Y/N) zoned out a little, her heart was pounding heavily in her chest, she was sweating, quivering, and all she could focus on was how she killed everything. Everything she loved and touched, she destroyed it. She couldn’t control herself, and she was hurting the world around her. She heard Warren yelling her name, but she couldn’t find herself to respond. Her breath was quick and eradicating. 

Warren was trying his best to respect her wishes by not coming to close, but he had to help her. 

“(Y/N)— (Y/N), baby, look at me, look at me,” Warren stepped closer to her. “Sit down, sit down, okay?” He helped her sit down on the ground. She leaned against the right side of the doorframe. 

“Um, I need you to— I need you to focus on my voice. Focus on me, okay?” 

“I just— my entire life—“ She broke into a sob. 

“Hey, hey, hey, you’re okay. The plants are going to be okay. We’re going to get through this. I need you to breathe. Focus on my breathing, okay?” 

“I can’t!” The ivy from her body was overgrowing rapidly, clinging onto Warren. 

“Yes, you can. Just focus, you’re going to be okay.” He put one of his hands on her arm to stop her from shaking. Her muscles tensed at first, but they slowly relaxed under his touch.

“You’re doing good, just breathe in slowly, okay? Copy me—“ Warren slowly inhaled air. (Y/N) tried to copy him, but it didn’t help her out. The ivy kept growing around the two of them, getting tight as it tangled between them. 

Warren had to move closer to (Y/N), to try and make more space. He wrapped his arms around her body. The out of control vines caused his grip to tighten on her. 

The feelings of his arms pressing against her helped (Y/N) focus in on something.  

“(Y/N)? Hey, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. Close your eyes and just focus on my voice, okay? Can you do that for me?”  

“I…” (Y/N) felt dizzy and nauseous like it was just piling up inside her. 

Warren coaxed her into slowing her breathing down, but her heart was pounding. Every breath she took felt shaky. 

Yet, the ivy slowed down, wrapping itself around Warren and (Y/N) like old stone walls. 

She was slightly shaking still, but her mind wasn’t getting as overwhelmed anymore.

“Hey, hey… Sweetheart, it’s okay. You’re going to be okay… the ivy stopped. It’s okay.” 

“It— it did?” 

Warren nodded, “Uh, huh. Everything’s going to be alright.” (Y/N) slowly stopped shaking and buried herself into Warren’s chest. 

“Do you want to get some water or maybe take a shower?” 

“Um, yeah, but I can’t— I can’t get rid of the poison ivy… Like I can’t—“

“That’s okay. We can just leave it.”

“Oh, okay…” 

“Let’s go shower in my room, okay?” 

She nodded. 

“Can you walk, okay?” He asked her. 

“Um, I think— I don’t know— I’m sorry.” 

“Hey, no, no, no. It’s okay. I can carry you.” 

Warren carefully scooped her up in his arms. He looked at her once over before heading to his room. 

He set her down on the edge of his bed. “Do you want me to help you get undressed?” 

“I can do it.” She answered in a small voice. 

Warren nodded, “Okay, I’m gonna get undressed too.” 

Warren didn’t face her as he stripped off what little clothing he had on and threw it in a small pile. 

“Is it okay if I take my underwear off?” (Y/N) nervously asked. 

“Yeah, we’re going to shower. It’s okay.” 

(Y/N) left her clothes on Warren’s bed. She slowly got up, and Warren quickly rushed to her aide. She used him for support as they walked into his bathroom. 

He turned the shower on and let it heat up for a minute before stepping in. 

(Y/N) leaned against Warren’s chest as the water rained on them both. 

“Is the water warm enough? Is it too hot?” 

“It’s fine,” She mumbled. 

Warren nodded, understanding she didn’t really want to talk. 

He grabbed his shampoo from the edge of the tub and poured some into his hands. Warren rubbed his hands together before massaging the shampoo into (Y/N)’s hair. It was hard to rake through, her hair was thick and tangled, but he tried his best. 

He applied a little conditioner to her ends. (Y/N) hummed against his chest. 

He chuckled to himself, “You asleep?”

“Mhmm…” She half-heartedly replied.  

“Wanna go to bed?” He asked. (Y/N) nodded, and Warren felt it against his chest.

He washed the conditioner out of her hair and turned the water off. 

He grabbed a towel and helped (Y/N) dry off. When he finished, (Y/N) sat on the edge of the tub and watched Warren dry off. 

His eyes caught (Y/N)’s in the mirror. She looked better than before, a bit more relaxed, but still nervous. 

“I’m really sorry for what happened at the party…”

“I’m sorry about… you know…” 

Warren nodded, “Yeah, um, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. And, and I’m here for you— always. If you want to talk about it, or not.”

“Same goes for you.” 

Warren nodded, “Yeah, yeah, um, let me get us some clothes.” Warren stepped out of the bathroom for a moment. 

He gave (Y/N) one of his much larger sweatshirts without holes in the back and a pair of boxers. “Is this okay?” He asked. 

“Yeah, um, these are fine. Thanks.”

Warren nodded and stepped out of the bathroom again, so (Y/N) could get dressed in private. 

Warren was planning to sleep on the floor for (Y/N)’s sake, as not to make her uncomfortable, but she objected to it.

“I… I don’t want to be alone.” 

“I’m right here,” Warren was quick to wrap (Y/N) up in his arms, having them both get under the blankets on his bed. “I’m not going anywhere, okay? You’re safe…” 

“Promise?” She asked, looking up at him. Her eyes weren’t entirely black anymore, but they were very gray. He could have sworn they were pink for a moment, but they were just grey. 

“I promise.” 

(Y/N) was reassured by his words and snuggled into Warren’s chest. His wings wrapped around them, almost like a cocoon. 

“Can… Can you kiss me, please?” (Y/N) asked. “Just like, my forehead or something…” 

“Of course.” Warren laid a small kiss on the top of her head before whispering, “Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight, Angel.”

[hetacon]

Prom Queen: Chapter 4

First || Previous || Next

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Word Count: 1,800

Pairings: Endgame Prinxiety, Platonic LAMP, more could be included at a later point

Warning: Swearing, small food mention, let me know if there’s anything I missed!

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Summary: “Hey Virgil, tell us about yourself, yeah?” one of the girls asked, the guy she was just talking with fixing his gaze on to Virgil too.

(Make sure to read all the way to the end if you want my thoughts so far! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for this story, my art, or writing! Enjoy the chapter!)

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Virgil started to spend more time with the popular kids after they got back to school, something he never thought would be happening. They were gossipy and didn’t really appeal to Virgil as overall people but Roman was their friend so he started to get to know them for the sake of his best friend. He didn’t even really know them honestly, they almost never talked about themselves or their interests or anything in terms of personal information, the conversations almost consistently focused on the drama going around the school that day. There was something new every time they went over. For a solid month, he and Roman would go chat for a minute or two before going off to find Patton and Logan.

That was actually what they were just doing that day when one of Roman’s friends got Virgil’s attention.

“Hey Virgil, tell us about yourself, yeah?” one of the girls asked, the guy she was just talking with fixing his gaze on to Virgil too.

Virgil looked over to Madison if he remembered correctly, trying to hide most of his shock at the fact that she even addressed him. Not many of Roman’s friends acknowledged him much when they would go over but Virgil guessed they’d taken some interest in him. He had been coming over with Roman for quite a good while now, it figures they’d notice his presence at some point. He had to respond quick though, this chance couldn’t go to waste. “Uh, ok, what do you want to know?”

“What kind of music do you listen to?” Well, an odd question to start off with.

Virgil shrugged a bit. “Eh, just what everyone else listens to, you know? Not really anything in particular. It’s not like I really look for songs to listen to by anyone specific.”

Roman nudged him with a snort. “Since when has this ever been the case? If there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you’re emo through and through,” he said, a certain fondness to his look. Virgil bumped his shoulder with a laugh back, fixing him with a playful glare.

“And what if I can like things that you don’t expect of me, huh?” Virgil asked with a slight tease. Roman simply raised an eyebrow but shrugged, letting the argument go without much more of a struggle. Roman wasn’t wrong though, he still listened to everything that he had before, none of it had changed despite what he said. Definitely none of what people usually listened to. He was never one to follow trends with music or otherwise and Roman unfortunately knew that.

“Do you do anything interesting?” one of the people joining the conversation asked.

“Things here and there, not exactly much. School is a drag, takes up way too much of my time to actually let me focus on anything even remotely interesting,” Virgil said calmly, trying to look casual. He hoped it was working, he felt like a nervous wreck. With a few laughs and a “Fuck yeah it is!” he mustered up the courage to add in, “I draw if that counts for anything.”

“Oh yeah? Mind if we take a look?”

Virgil nodded and rummaged through his bag, finding a leather bound book. This one happened to be his more serious one, he had another that was far more personal stashed away. Only Roman, Patton, and Logan ever saw that one, and not even in its full entirety. The personal one had gotten a lot more use than the one currently in his hands. Virgil slid the book over the table and he watched as it was opened to a page of really messy scribbles in the shape of a distraught person’s face. He’d remembered drawing that one, he was in the middle of history sophomore year having a panic attack but was too nervous to ask to step outside.

“Woah, this is cool man,” Tyler said as he looked over it, others nodding in agreement. They proceeded to flip through the pages for a bit while they took turns asking him more questions.

With so much talk, Virgil noticed Roman jump up suddenly, tugging at Virgil’s sleeve frantically. “Pat and Specs!” he explained before packing up his things frantically. “So sorry guys, I need to talk to them before we have to go to class! I’ll catch up with you tomorrow!” he shouted out as he started speed walking, Virgil in tow. Virgil barely managed to collect up his stuff before he was at Roman’s side, seeing the slightest crease between Roman’s eyebrows. As relieved as Virgil was to be away from all of the questions and potential judgement, he noticed Roman was in a big rush. He couldn’t really place why.

“Hey, you uh.. You ok? What’s up?” Virgil asked, relieved as Roman slowed down a little as they turned a corner.

“I just want to get to Pat and Specs, they’re our friends you know?” Roman asked with a bit of an edge before sighing. “Sorry, I just didn’t expect you to uh.. Hit it off so much with them, I usually just say a quick hello really,” he explained.

“Really? You think so?” Virgil really hoped he was impressing the popular kids, they were Roman’s friends after all. If he was having luck with them, he wasn’t going to lose Roman that easily. He couldn’t possibly do that, not when he’d already put so much at risk.

“Yeah but anyone who doesn’t like you how you are is insane,” Roman said lowly. Virgil thought he saw Roman’s jaw clench for a second but he quickly looked ahead of them as Roman glanced over.

Virgil was tackled in a hug by Patton, causing him to smile as he hugged back. He didn’t smile for long though as the bell rang, causing Roman to sigh. He looked over, laughing a little awkwardly. “Ha, sorry Ro, didn’t mean to make us so late.”

Roman shrugged. “It’s ok, just means we’ll have to get here as soon as possible tomorrow!” With that, he and Logan started to talk as they headed to class together.

Virgil watched as Roman walked away from him and Patton and he frowned slightly before Patton was nudging his shoulder and nodding his head to the direction of their classes.

Virgil nodded back and started walking, burying his hands deep into his pockets. He really wished he had his usual hoodie to pull over his head and hide from the world. His bangs would have to do, giving him a good look at the sickeningly sweet pink he’d decided on a month prior. Who let him do that again?

“Hey, you ok?” Patton asked, silently offering Virgil a cookie. Snickerdoodle today, Virgil would’ve usually loved it.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Virgil told him. “I’m not hungry, thanks though.”

Patton looked at him with a worried look for a second before sighing, taking a bite of the cookie himself. “Alright Virge, if you say so. Who knows, maybe some rest is all you need, make sure you go easy on yourself!”

Virgil agreed, looking ahead of them.

He went home that day and went through the motions in a haze, glad when he finally got out of his disgustingly bright outfit. He stared blankly at the wall when he got a text from Roman.

“Hey, sorry I was so tense where we left things off.. I promise you didn’t do anything, that was all me.”

“What was up with that?” Virgil texted back.

Roman’s response took a minute before it popped up on Virgil’s screen. “I don’t know, I just didn’t expect them to really take such an interest in you. They can be a bit... Stuffy. Like, all the time, I much prefer hanging out with you, Pat, and Specs.”

“I mean, they’re your friends right? They asked me questions, I answered.”

“Yeah, that’s true. Some of your answers surprised me though lol, you are truly a dark and stormy knight after all!”

“Hey, I’m allowed to expand my tastes, aren’t I? You got me into some of your dumb musicals after all.”

“They are not dumb, take that back you jerk!”

Virgil snorted, hugging his pillow to his chest as he typed out another message. “Oh yeah? Make me, you pompous thespian drama queen.”

“I just might!”

Before Virgil could respond, Roman shot him a quick text reading “Shit, GTG, I need to run a few scenes before I sleep! Until tomorrow~!”

“Go chase your dreams of ‘professional make believe’ as Logan would say, night.”

As an afterthought, Virgil tacked on a red heart before blushing harshly, cursing into his hands. He really did that, no taking that one back now was there?

Either way, check in time. Roman was still his friend, they just had a normal conversation like two human beings ought to be able to have. While he seemed a little off-put by some of the changes Virgil was talking about, he didn’t seem to take it as a serious offense so a plus there. The clothes were horrible, Virgil still hated his hair, but he was doing this for Roman so he’d suck it up. Roman’s friends were starting to like him, they liked his art so that was good. Luckily they latched on to something he couldn’t lie about.

Just as Virgil was about to go to bed, another notification popped up on his phone, this time from an unknown number. Virgil stared at it for moment, his brow furrowed. He opened it though and read it.

“Hey Virgil, this is Madison! Got ur number from Roman’s phone lol, hope u don’t mind sweetie!”

Well, he kind of did mind but putting that aside-

“Hi, did you need anything?”

“Not rn but I might! Just wanted to have ur number just in case. Anyways, I’m going to bed, see u tomorrow!”

Virgil nodded to himself before he got one more text.

“BTW loveeeee ur artwork, keep up the good work bby!”

This was certainly... Bizarre. He didn’t expect to ever have the number of a popular girl in his phone but he never knew high school would be this insane. He’d survive this though, for Roman if nothing else. And if not, he just might lose Roman forever and never be able to forget about it for as long as he lives! Ok, breathe Virgil, breathe...

Things would work out, Virgil was going to make sure they did or die trying. Nobody, Roman included, could think to stop him now.

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More Prom Queen content huh? Anyways hey hey hey guys! How’d you like the newest chapter?

To be honest, I’m not sure how to feel about this one. I feel like all of my writings sound like they’re in an echo chamber. Like as if the events are completely isolated and don’t fit into an expansive narrative and existence. I have no idea if that makes a bit of sense, it might just be my depression tbh? It’s been kicking my butt more than usual.

But Virgil is finally getting noticed by the popular kids, woohoo! This obviously can’t go wrong! We shall see what Virgil will be getting up to with time!

As always, feel free to leave comments or send me asks and whatnot if you want to talk with me about the story! I’d love to hear from you guys!

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Taglist: @artissijules, @virgils-paranoia, @its-the-cat-queen, @myyoutubecorner, @marshmallow-the-panda, @anotheregofanficblog, @tssidesfamily, @shapa-likes-art, @isabelle-stars, @falsemood, @katlikethesword

[blueroan-equestrian]

Things Change People Grow UP

Billy Hargrove the boy who is, let’s face it, is kinda a dick. But let’s help tame that beast huh? and right some wrongs like... spoiler alert

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  his death no longer happening. You and Billy are both graduated and living life...and it’s corny and I love it bad or not. love ur work writers cuz if u are it’s creator love yo self. Love you guys

Fluff

Longest I’ve written in a really long time… possibly the longest one I’ve written. May drag on a bit. 3532 words

 I wasn’t a fan of most in high school, but now I am in college and free from... most of my high school drama. I am back from college for the summer and I was determined to avoid those I had gone to school with.

Unfortunately, it was a summer from hell and there was only one public pool in town. And of course, the school bully had to work there.

Now Billy was never awful to me but to some of my male friends, he was a nightmare. So while it is true he never hurt me... he still scared me.

So when I went to the pool and saw him sitting in that guard chair I couldn’t stop the anxiety that crept over me. I decided I would ignore the feeling and simply enjoy the water. Soon I had completely forgotten he was even there as I lazily floated around in the pool. That is until I noticed he was out of his chair. Him being gone is not what set me on edge, him sitting on the edge of the pool with hungry eyes as he stared out seemingly at me. I sink back into the water trying to ignore the feeling I was getting, as there was no way Billy Hargrove would ever look at me that way and there was no way he would have grown up in the last year for either of us to be into the other... or so I thought.

I would come to the pool and the moment his eyes found me they began to follow me. I had laid out after swimming and ended up falling asleep on the lounger. I was woken up to someone gently nudging my shoulder. I groggily yawned as I slowly opened my eyes to see Billy leaning over me with an uncharacteristically kind smile on his face. “Hey, I’m sorry to have disturbed you but I noticed you were starting to burn so I thought I’d offer you some sunscreen.”

I look down immediately at my arms and indeed I was showing signs of overexposure to the sun. I groaned, “I fell asleep. I should get home.” I said as scrambling to gather my things and throw on my cover-up dress.

“I just got off work, I could drive you home... I know you walk and I wouldn’t mind giving you a lift.” He gave me another soft smile while helping me pack the thing that had spilled out of my bag.

Normally I wouldn’t accept rides from anyone whom I don’t know well, but something in his voice had me trusting him. He insisted on carrying my pool bag to his car and opening the car door for me. “Thanks for the lift, I appreciate it.” I bit my lip shyly.

“Don’t mention it Doll.” Billy smiled over to me as he started the car, “So how do I get there?” After giving him directions he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road. “So... How’s college?” He asked.

“Oh... it was good... I passed all my classes, so can’t complain. What are you up to?” I asked.

“I have this summer job and during the school year, I got a job as a janitor at my step sisters school. I’m saving up to move out.” I could taste the sour notes at the end and it tugged at my curiosity.

“Billy...?” I questioned softly.

He stopped in front of my house, before hopping out of the car to open my door for me, “Yes, (y/n)”.

I lost my nerve, “Thank you for the ride... would you like to come in for some tea?”

“Oh, uh...yes that would be nice. Just let me grab my keys real quick.” he licks his lips and reaches into his car to turn off the car and pull out his keys. He followed me up and into my family house where I led him into the kitchen.

He plopped down on the stool in front of the island, while I pulled out some options for him to pick from while I started the pot.

“You drink a lot of tea huh?” He asked. Not in a malicious way but more of an observational way.

“Yeah, my mom is really into the stuff, says it keeps ya from gett’ en sick.” I chuckled turning on the stove.

“Is that so?” Billy mused as he read the labels on the boxes I had set in front of him. “So which is your favorite?”

“Green tea with honey, it has the most benefits to it.” I hummed leaning on the opposite side of the island as we waited for the pot to boil.

“Alright let's have some of that.” He chuckled trying to find the right box. I smiled and went to pull out two mugs for us and coated them in honey. (A/N I don’t like tea but during the winter when all the people are passing around the flu this stuff seems to keep me from getting sick so I drink it and whenever I start to feel sick so you know. ;-P)

I move to take the pot off the stove and poured the water into each cup and moved around the Island to sit next to him and placed his cup in front him and then snagged a tea bag from its box. I swirled the bag around in the water before letting it settle. Billy did the same and the two of us surprisingly really kicked it off. We laughed and joked around until my mom strolled in carrying some groceries. “Oh...” She gasped, “Who’s the half-naked boy in my kitchen. Please tell me he’s your boyfriend.”

“Mom!” I groaned with embracement completely mortified.

Billy, on the other hand, seemed amused, “Billy Hargrove, Ma’am and no not yet anyway. Let me help you with those. Are there any left in the car?”

Mom nodded and he trotted off to grab them leaving me with my overly smitten mother.

“Oh, he’s handsome.” My mom murmured as soon as he stepped out the door.

“MOM!” I groaned again as I helped unpack.

When Billy returned he also helped while brushing up against me here and there. We finished my mother asked him, “Billy you’ve been so helpful, I hope you will stay for dinner.”

“Mrs. L/N you are too kind really. But I have to head home. (y/n) hope to see you at the pool tomorrow?”

“Ok Billy, see you tomorrow.” I gave him a shy smile.

Billy stepped closer to me, so he could lean down and whisper into my ear, “Wear the swimsuit you wore the first day of summer, I like that one.”

He chuckled as left at how flustered I had become.

That night I put on my aloe so that my burn would heal. I got up early to go to work for a couple of hours to help open up my dad's store like I do whenever I’m home before I headed off to the pool.

I stood in the locker room adjusting my bathing suit finally deciding it was good enough and shoved my clothes into my bag. Walking out I scanned the pool, finding Billy was already in the chair. I smiled as his eyes found me and gave me one of his own smile in return. Today I remembered my sunscreen and floated in the pool carelessly till a big splash came my way.

Slightly startled I look around to find Billy swimming to me, “I’m on break, do you mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.” I giggled as he began to circle me.

“I really do love that little two-piece on you. It really does things to me.” He purred into my ear.

“This? But...” I huffed not seeing what a boy like him who dated supermodel, pretty cheerleader girls... Not girls with a little bit of body to them.

“Stop that. I see where you're going and I promise I think you’re pretty… no… beautiful.” He whispered nose brushing up against my own.

I could feel his breath fan my face just before he leaned in the rest of the way and kissed me. He reached a hand around and tangled his hand into my hair locking me into place. The kiss soon got needy but he pulled away with a smirk, “I think we should continue this after my shift ends... don’t you agree?”

I nodded in a daze, dizzy from the kiss. The boy was a good kisser.

He had me waiting till he clocked out at the end of his shift; he grabbed my bag from the lounge chair and waved me over. “You going to let me get dressed?” I questioned.

“No, but you can have your towel,” he smirked pulling out my towel which pulled my panties out as well. He tossed the towel to me so he could snatch up my panties and shoved them into his pocket.

“Hey?” I complained wrapping the towel around myself.

“What? That’s your towel, right?” he smiled innocently.

“Hargrove... If you’re going to keep my underwear at least tell me, you aren’t going to be weird about it.” I scoffed.

“Oh princess I can’t promise you anything. But let’s head to my car, I got plans for you.” Billy purred swiping his tongue over his teeth hungrily as he grinned down at me. He adjusted my bag onto his shoulder before leaning down and laying a quick kiss onto my neck. He straightened up and moved to leave only to turn to flash me his signature smile and then swaying his hips as he walked out.

My cheeks were a rosy red but I soon trotted off behind him. Again he opened the door for me and set my bag onto the car floor in front of me. He got into his side of the car before leaning in clearly looking for a kiss and I gave it to him with a giggle.

“Now… You ready baby girl?” He asked as he started the car. I responded with a giggle and he raced out of the lot.

…

We drove to the theater in the next city over, which wasn’t exactly a short drive. We stopped at a gas station where he finally let me change. He had changed at the pool when I wasn’t paying attention. Once on the road, I asked, “So why couldn’t I get dressed at the pool?”

“Because I wanted more time with you and that bikini.” He winked.

“Billy Hargrove I should have known.” I flirted leaning in to pull him in for a quick kiss.

“Babe, five more minutes and we’ll have all the time we want for that but I’m driving.”

I hummed happily before asking my next question, “So what is this Billy? A date, hanging out with a friend… what?”

Parking he answered, “I sure hope it’s a date.” He reached over to pull my face for a breathtaking kiss before hopping out the car and rushing over to my side to open my door for me before I could do it myself. “I hope you like comedy because I picked out a comedy but if…”

“I like comedies.” I interrupted his nervous jabbering.

He gave me an appreciative smile as he took my hand in his to lead me into the movies. This was the first of many dates.

But summer came to an end and both of us were prepared to make phone calls and school breaks visits work.

I was packing up for school before Billy would pick me up and drive me to my new apartment when I got a soft knock on my bedroom door. I answered to a tearful Billy with a purple jaw and a broken nose. “Billy!” I gasped, hands reaching up to gingerly touch his face. He shuffled into my room, before shutting my door, scooping me up and snuggling into me as he laid us on my bed and he just balled. “Billy, baby, tell me what is going on?”

He snuggled his face deeper into my breast before he spoke. “I… I got into a fight with my dad… again…”

“Billy! You got to get out of there.” I gasped holding on to him tighter. “I’ll help you!”

“I can’t afford it on my own. I…” He trailed off.

“Billy you know I would have helped you with that if you told me. Paid for our dates so you could save, helped you look for a place…”

“We just started dating.” He sniffled cuddling more with my breast, now massaging my left in his callused hand. “I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t man enough for you.”

“Oh Billy… You are enough for me. Billy, why don’t you come to stay with me in my apartment. Lisa my roommate won’t mind because her boyfriend will be over all the time anyway. You call in give your notice to the school and move with me get a job in Muncie. You don’t need to go back there. We’ll replace your stuff, ok?” I hummed as I ran my hand through his hair over and over again trying to soothe him.

He gave my breast one last squeeze before just he just held me for a minute before mumbling into my breast, “You’re not supposed to take care of me… I’m supposed to take care of you.”

I lifted his chin up so he could see me, “It goes both ways, you give a little and you take a little. Let me take care of you when I can. Now, you nap, rest, while I finish packing. I’ll get some clothes from my brother for you. We’ll get you more later.” I kissed the top of his head and a few pets before leaving the bed to finish packing, only leaving to ask my brother for some of his clothes when he had fallen asleep. Once finished, I grabbed some ointment and applied it gently to his wounds.

“Mmm… what are you doing?” Billy moaned sleepily.

“Cleaning you up.” I hummed as I kissed his temple. I patted his head and smiled down at him.

“You ready?” He asked as he stretched out.

“I’ll load up, you stay and rest as long as you can.” Once I was loaded I convinced him to let me drive but he left some things he couldn’t part with at home so we agreed that I would retrieve the things for him plus some more clothes.

Neil didn’t even seem fazed by me coming in uninvited. I found a bag and found his notebook and mothers ring where he said I would find them before packing his favorite cologne, jean jacket, leather jacket, underwear, some jeans, a couple of shorts and a pair of sweat pants. My brother’s shirts would have to do because there was no more room. I was carrying the jackets as it was and the bag as I made my way back to the car putting it in the back.

Billy fell back to sleep as I drove to Muncie, Indiana. It was normally about an hour and a half drive but with the rain, it became two.

Once arriving at Silvertree apartments I woke him up. “Babe, we’re here. Let’s go up and sleep in the bed. How does that sound?” I cooed.

That seemed to annoy him a smidge but all he said was, “Don’t you want to unpack?”

“Tomorrow, right now all I want to do right now is to spend my time with you.” He smirked from his place against the window, sitting up to kiss me.

He hopped out and so did I. He followed me to my apartment and straight into my room (Me and my dad had brought up most my stuff and set up my room the first week of the month). I shut my door as he made his way to the standard size bed. As he went he stripped down to his underwear. He slipped under the covers without a word and I followed suit. I hopped into bed and snuggle into his side. He instinctively wrapped an arm around me before he looked at me thought for a second then said, “God doll, you are amazing… I think I just might marry you.”  We both drifted off to sleep.

 ch 2 https://blueroan-equestrian.tumblr.com/post/186920702597/things-change-people-grow-up-ch2

[lordvatera]

Best Friends: Quarantine

INT: Kris, a teenager, is quarantined in his house and has nothing to do other than chores, internet and video games. Mike, also a teenager, is in the same situation as Kris and he’s been online on instagram for over hours. Kris opened his instagram and he saw his best friend online.

Kris: (Chat) oy

Kris: (Chat) how’s quarantine?

Mike: (Chat) boring,

Kris: (Chat) how’s life?

Mike: (Chat) in quarantine

Kris: (Chat) wut u doin?

Mike: (Chat) nothin special,

Kris: (Chat) sure?

Mike: (Chat) yeah, pretty sure.

It took a minute of no reply from Mike. While Kris is looking through, with dead eyes from his ennui state, to his snapchat account. Then he saw Mike online on snapchat.

Kris: (Chat) well? Aren’t u gonna ask wat im doin?

Mike: (Chat) I already know wat u doin

Mike: (Chat) goin through instagram den 2 snapchat

Kris: (Chat) ok

Mike: (Chat) ok

It took another minute of no reply from Mike. Kris is still bored on his phone. He turned off his phone and played on his PC. Overwatch. Onced he played the game, he saw Mike online then chatted.

Kris: (Chat) wanna play?

Mike: (Chat) sure

Kris played for an hour with Mike beating every single game, always MVP. Then quited the game. His eyes are still dead.

Kris: (Chat) dis is getting boring

Mike: (Chat) yeah

Mike: (Chat) imma order somtin brb

Kris: (Chat) ok

Kris: (Chat) im hungry also

Mike ordered sushi from Kris ordered a Big Mac, large size Root Beer and a poutine from McDonalds. While he was waiting he went through his Instagram account.

Mike: (Chat) wat u getin?

Kris: (Chat) big mac and poutine, u?

Mike: I should’ve gotten some Mcdonalds instead.

Mike: (Chat) some sushi

Kris: Sushi, huh.

Mike: (Chat) oh yeah

Mike was dead bored that he didn’t even have the energy to hold his phone.

Mike: I don’t know what to do! I’m just so bored! I’m dying!

Mike’s brother: (Knocked on the wall) I can help with that!

Mike: Shut it dude! It’s already 2 pm! Your shift’s like 2:15!

Mike’s brother: Don’t worry, Imma make it quick!

Mike: What! Hell no! That sounded so wrong! 

Mike’s brother: You were the only one who thought that. You gay?

Mike: No I’m not! Stop busting my balls!

Mike’s brother: Kay sure. Aright, Imma leave. No homo!

Mike: (Mumbling) Ugh, that guy.

Mike immediately took his phone and used it again to chat with Kris. His chat bubble already had 2 notifications.

Kris: (Chat) wat?

Kris: (Chat) ?

Kris: (Chat) did u die?

Mike: Oh yeah, I was gonna tell him something. I forgot.

Mike: (Chat) yup, im dead.

Kris: Yeah, right.

Kris: (Chat) ok. Say hi to my grandma

Mike: (Chat) sure wat do u wanna tell her

Kris: (Chat) i miss her….

Mike: (Chat) gotcha

Kris: (Chat) ….lasagna

Mike: (Chat) ok, got it.

Mike: (Chat) anymore request?

Kris: (Chat) also, tell her i would like to have money for ps5

Kris: (Chat) 500

Mike: Oh yeah, PS5 just released its teaser.

Mike: (Chat) ok, got it all written down

Kris: (Chat) tnx yo

Mike: (Chat) no prob

Kris: (Chat) bro, I have a joke 4 u

Mike: (Chat) shoot, im all ears

Mike: (Chat) actually eyes

Kris: (Chat) knock knock

Mike: (Chat) come in

Kris: (Chat) NAAAOOO!!

Kris: (Chat) dont

Mike: (Chat) y? Wats wrong? 

Mike: (Chat) i already know who’s knocking

Kris: (Chat) but dats not how da joke works

Mike: Pftt, hehehe. Gonna prank him again.

Mike: (Chat) I just wanna tell u how im feeling

Kris: Oh I know what that line is. You can’t trick me fool!

Kris: (Chat) but that doesnt how it goes!

Mike: (Chat) gotta make u understand

Kris: (Chat) NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP! NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN!

Kris: (Chat) NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOU!!!!!!!!!

Kris: (Chat) U GOT BACKFIRED RICKROLLEDDDD!!!!! BABBBBYY!

Kris: I’m an esper yo!

Mike: Dude, that’s….. Sigh.

Mike: (Chat) u got me there

Mike: (Chat) honestly thought i could get u

Kris: (Chat) i forgot wat my jk was

Kris: (Chat) forget it

Mike: (Chat) den how’s u n ur gf

Kris: (Chat) Sophia huh?

Kris: (Chat) she’s bored

Kris: (Chat) like real almost legit slowly dying of boredness whenever we call

Mike: (Chat) yeah, i can imagine

Mike: (Chat) one time when we were in middle school, she would sleep in class with a pillow

Mike: (Chat) den da teacher went up 2 her angry n asked her yknow like movies stuff

Mike: (Chat) den it ended up with da teacher asking that she could learn something new from her class 

Mike: (Chat) but she kept snuggling her pillow like she’s not there n said 

Mike: (Chat) im learning nothing new, ur teaching history ms

Mike: (Chat) all da class laughed so hard one guy shouted, “she roasted u ms!”

Kris: (Chat) she still sleeps with a pillow in class even now

Mike: (Chat) n u know wat happened 2 dem?

Mike: (Chat) r teacher never spoke with her again 4 da rest of her middle school

Kris: (Chat) yeah, wats up with sophia

Kris: (Chat) she always sleep but theres like another ear activated whenever she sleeps

Kris: (Chat) like she always knows wat the teacher’s teaching

Kris: (Chat) i think she’s an esper

Kris: (Chat) I THINK MY GIRLFRIEND IS AN ESPER BRO!

Mike: (Chat) calm down

Mike: (Chat) i know how terrifying she can be

Mike: (Chat) ive experienced it first hand

Kris: (Chat) imma go asked her if she has some super power or wat

Mike: (Chat) u serious?

Mike: Actually I’m legit curious what her reaction will be.

Kris: (Chat) yeah 

Mike: (Chat) dude i wanna know 2 

Mike: (Chat) put me on another device and call

Mike: (Chat) call her n i listen

Kris: (Chat) k sure

Kris called Mike on his other older phone then proceed to call Sophia afterwards. She answered with a cracky voice.

Sophia: Hey

Kris: Hey, got a sec? I wanna ask you something.

Sophia: I can’t hear you.

Kris: I wanna ask you something.

Sophia: Still can’t hear you. Put the mic closer.

Kris: Here, can you hear me now? 

Sophia: Yup, loud and clear.

Kris: So I just wanna ask you something.

Sophia: Sure, what is it?

Kris: (Hesitantly) Do you have super powers?

Mike: (Muted) Pfftt!! He actually asked!

Sophia: Well, I kinda do have one.

Kris: Whoah, really?!

Sophia: Yup, to know whether you still like me or not. (Chuckled) Something like that probably.

Kris immediately puts down his phone. He really genuinely thought she did have one but not this. While Mike was drinking water and spilled it.

Mike: Oh, shit. It went through my nose. Ah, man. I never thought Sophia would say some cheesy lines like that. I should’ve recorded this. 

Kris: Oh shoot, I forgot you were there!

Kris ended his call with Mike.

Sophia: Yup, you’re still in love with me! Knew it!

Kris: (Mumble) Crap, I didn’t know this side of hers existed.

Kris: Can you give me a few minutes? I’ll end the call.

Sophia: Yeah, sure. Bye~

Kris: Bye.

Mike: Oh look, he ended the call. Getting embarrassed for a second. I can use this moment against those 2 in the meantime. 

Mike: Imma give him a call again.

Kris: Dude, did you heard it?

Mike: Huh? What’s it?

Kris: Okay, (Sigh) it’s nothing. 

Mike: (Mumble) Oh, I totally heard that.

Mike: So, what she say?

Kris: Of course not. Is what she said.

Mike: Ohh, well that’s expected. (Mumble) liar.

Kris: Yeah, why did I even ask her.

Mike: Yeah, I know right! Hehehehe. It’s just another one of your embarrassing secrets.

Kris: Huh? What was that?

Mike: Nothing. Why’d you end your conversation with her?

Kris: Cause…. Y’know I was talking to someone else before her.

Mike: Ahhh, then why you blushing so much.

Kris: No I’m not.

Mike: Okay. Okay. Okay.

Kris: Seriously, she didn’t say anything.

Mike: I wasn’t asking about her, I was asking about you.

Kris: Nothing really happened, okay!

Mike: Sure, whatever you say so.

EXT: Mike smirking when saying the last line.

END

[princebete]

So Wednesday morning I got a call from the same person who hired me at my current job, who was supposed to train since joining as an Esthetician.

She said that “ I am not spunky enough” and not “ what they are looking for” as far as the position and basically discontinued my candidacy in the training program... 

thing is... 

i never even got to train. 

When I was hired in October, my license was still in limbo and I was put on the front desk to learn that basic position, until my license would be posted. Not to mention, when I was hired, their main desk person was there for two days before dropping to one shift a week. So I filled a hole, but I did not get trained appropraitely. Queue the fucking holiday rush. All November and mid-December I worked on front desk... awaiting my license to be approved so I could end the nightmare. I wanted to be a service provider so bad, and then I went to California for christmas, and came back to the desk again... and my family was asking me when I’d start training, and I asked myself this question. And I noticed I had a personal development meeting scheduled... so I though perhaps that I’d learn more front desk until they could train me. And my license had finally been posted...  

I feel so mislead and lied to. Like ... I told an esthetician that I consider an acquaintance and SHE IS MORE QUIET THAN ME ... what the fuck 

i feel like there is another “non legal” reason... and honestly ... no matter what anyone says. Estheticians and Cosmos are opposite. Esthes are not meant to be with a personality of a cosmo, and when I WAS IN SCHOOL HALF OF THE COSMOS WERE LIKE “ why are you not a stylist?? you have the personality for one!” what the fuck.  Esthes are the “spa” relaxing, mellow lighting, soothing music--- massage type of environment. Not the loud obnoxious pop rock music blaring in the background while people scream out their life story over hair dryers and alumnimum foil. No--- 

no i think it’s bcause of the fact that I am a fuller figure

that because I am larger, the illusion is that-that i move slower and do less.. that because i am big i seem “ Less” and because of this it takes away opportunities. it’s terrible. 

it’s a world of outliers. there is no more middle ground it’s either :

body positivity!! and accepting unhealthy behavior 

or it’s 

“appear” healthy because of ur size ( which is total bull shit) and ur not a health insurance risk, and u fit the social standard that’s been around in post modern era. 

.... like i HATE THIS ... i am trying hard right now. 

I am HUNGRY, guys. I’m STARVING right now. 

I HAVE eaten, I am on a special diet plan to lose up to 5 a week ( yes dropping 5 a week is not as healthy as 2-3... i already know) 

I am following a diet plan that was written in 1984!! and for what? so i dont have to worry about being a fat bride!! so I can make more money!! SO I DONT HAVE TO WORK IN A POSITION WHERE I HAVE TO BEND TO THE WILL OF SOME PRIVLEGED SNOB. 

this society sucks. it takes away job opportunities, it takes my happiness( well for 6 months...) and i know this isn’t forever, and this is a special metabolism diet plan, so it’s not crash dieting. i mean it is a LOT less food, but it’s healthy... I mean 

i get a limit on calorie intake, and i walk after eating consistent meals. they aren’t filling, but i mean-- my stomach is shrinking and that diet world is all backwards all the time anyway. but it SUCKS. i can’t just march up to the fridge and grab a cheese stick right now ( unless weight watchers which if u do, u just track it) -- anyways I digress... but there is just so much pressure and stress, which to me is a lot of suffering just to “ get it right” in the world. 

It’s just very sad to go through this, and make an effort ... yet still get rejected... I mean I was kinda disliking the place anyway?? but i was hoping that my training would turn around my feelings and help me reconcile my view. but it was all a lie. 

and they paid me less than a desk person... yep. they paid me what an esthetician would make when not taking commission. I feel like i got sucked into this, so they could put me on desk, pay me less, then tell me i wont be working as an esthetician to keep me on desk

... and ever since I’ve been in a state of shock. “ Well”  I thought   “ at least I have my other $14.50/hr job that makes me a $100 per 8 hour shift. That’s good!” ....  but oh no 

an email came from my supervisor last night .

Mandatory company wide call at 9 am in the morning. On a Friday... our pay day... in JANUARY. 

----o fuck this can’t be good. 

and my suspicions were correct.... 

they disbanded the beauty concierge program.  I got my sister a job with this company and she lives on her own with her bf so i mean... she dependso n this too... so it sucks... i am kinda... wow

After 6 years they decide to disband THIS year. The year I join. 

So I am now working very part time as a front desk person earning 10.50 and hour with the looming storm of student loans in student view.... 

anyways i dont know why i spew all this yhere. im looking for an outlet so perhaps some people, you, my friends-- can see what is up.

Honestly.. as far as career goes...

I don’t really know what I want anymore. I know that I dont wanna waste my life on something meaningless, and I feel like I am endlessly searching for something-- learning about the bad parts, and discarding it... but Iwould like to find something where if I find those bad parts, I’d be okay with embracing it and just rolling with the punches.

So far I have not found it yet. 

in all honestly, if i could just be a home maker and not work at all, do art and cosplay and sing in  the evenings-- that’d be ideal. 

Right now I am learning more about UX/UI to see if I could use my art degree and make more money. But... for the most part I am looking up wax specialists, and office administration type jobs... where the front desk person does all the party planning and grocery shopping for the office. lol .. I know sounds lazy, but whatever  Ican admit that--- my laziness can be translated to depression.

I just really wanna lose weight...  this strict plan isn’t forever. The book I am using the method from strictly outlines that it is a temporary thing just to get metabolism on track using a series of net carbs, good fats and calorie reduction-- so it’s not like it is unhealthy. It’s not like if I went and got some cheetohs or ate a cookie I’d be fucked like if I was on keto .... 

tbh I should be a weightloss plan expert I’ve done it all... 

but yeah. 

anyways-- thanks for listening to my rant

all in all my life isn’t that bad 

i have a home 

a car 

a wonderful cat 

a loving fiance 

education 

and some money to my name. i’m not totally broke.

I am very grateful and i am not to sore about all of this, it’s just crazy that it’s happening within days of eachother. and it kind sucks cuz this means i may not have a paycheck next couple weeks... or atleast a good one. 10.50 an hour my ASS. but oh well it’s SOMETHING. 

ALSO .... I might make a blog for tracking my wedding plans-- if anyone likes that suff and wants to follow... I may post reference to that. otherwise <3 love you all 

[emeraldfic]

07:

Stormy:

Miami: Monday April 29, 2018 1:58 PM

Shit. I feel like complete shit and when I forced myself out of bed to shower, my reflection was showing me that I looked like shit too. My smeared make up and a neck full of hickies made me cringe. 

Even after showering and brushing my teeth twice, I still felt gross and I couldn’t get the taste of vodka out of my mouth. 

After freshening up the best I could I pulled on some sweats and went to get some water so I could down some Advil and catch this headache before it got the best of me. I was surprised to see Chris sitting at the breakfast bar. He was rubbing his temples like he was annoyed. After getting my glass of water I sat down next to him trying to quietly grab his attention without poking at his obvious aggravation.

“Hey.” He murmured forcing a smile

“Hi.” I smiled. “Are you okay?”

He slid his phone over to me and signaled with a nod towards the screen for me to see what was bothering him. I raised a brow seeing that his messages were pulled up, and sighed seeing they were from Mimi.

Mimi: REALLY CHRIS???? im w deja one night and ur out drinking w stormy the first chance u get?? not to mention u two were all over each other the whole time??? WTF! 

To Mimi: ok? thought we were taking a break? wtf does it matter??

Mimi: BREAK? lmao ok. this is how u want to play it?? i just gave us space for a night to cool off ... but if u want a break that fine. 

To Mimi: i do. 

I handed back his phone and let out a sigh. I could feel warm tears sitting in the corners of my eyes. I feel so guilty. I’ve caused so much unnecessary drama since being here. I stood up and was about to make a run for my room but he stopped me. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Chris... I can’t keep messing things up for you.”

“Messing things up? Stormy...” he chuckled “What are you messing up? I wanted this. Things were so rocky between her and I. We were due for some space.”

He pulled me in for a hug and I felt myself relaxing against him making me remember how tired I really was. I was hoping we could hide out on the couch and be lazy all day but when the buzzer went off I knew that wasn’t happening. He let whoever it was up and a few minutes later there was a knock on the door.

“Can I help you?”

“What’s up man, we’re from the furniture depot, we have a delivery for Chris.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. That’s me.”

“Check over the info here and sign at the bottom for me, man and we’ll start bringing everything up.”

I could not hide my excitement. I clapped and jumped up and down thinking about how amazing my hunnies bedroom was going to be. It made the thought of her coming home soon all the more real!

About an hour later they had everything all hauled up and in her room. Chris headed off to the store to get us some drinks and snacks and I got ready for a long night. 

“Let’s do this baby.” He smiled 

Hearing the way ‘baby’ flowed off of his tongue so easily made me smile but U wasn’t going to make a big deal about it so I cracked open my monster and took in a big gulp acting like I hadn’t even heard it.

It was after nine when we had finally assembled everything. The bedroom set was so much more beautiful than I had remembered from the store. I was in love, and part of me wanted to cry. My emmy finally has everything she’s ever deserved thanks to Chris and I can’t wait for her to come home so he can finally have the chance to be the daddy she’s needed. I’m nervous for myself though... I’m getting a second shot at being her mom and I just hope I live up to her expectations. 

When everything was arranged perfectly I put her clothes away, made up her bed and vacuumed up the floor. It looked so great, but it was missing the little things.. and her.

“You did a great job in here.” Chris said popping his head in.

“Its all thanks to you.” I reminded. “She’s gonna love it!”

I grabbed the last of the trash from the room and turned off the light. Chris followed behind me and shut the door after us. I was so tired, but so happy that I had got it all done today. I plopped down on the couch and Chris followed suit letting out what seemed to be a satisfied sigh.

“Come here and gimme a kiss.” he asked lowly.

I happily crawled into his lap with a smile and did just as he’d asked, but of course it didn’t stop with just a kiss, before I knew it we were caught up in a full blown make out. I couldn’t help the moans that slipped through my lips as our tongues wrestled for dominance and his stiffness beneath me told me he didn’t mind.

He stood up with me in his lap mid kiss and started walking towards his room. I could feel the nervous butterflies start to flutter but I brushed it off.

“You staying in here tonight.” he said letting me fall back against the bed.

“Yeah, I could.” I nodded with a smile.

“Na, it wasn’t a question. I’m telling you that you’re staying in here tonight. I’m tired of you disappearing on me.”

“Disappearing? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Anytime you fall asleep in here you’re always gone when I wake up. Like you’re running scared or something.”

“I am not scared.” I sassed

“Well then quit running.”

He laid down next to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. We laid there comfortably for a few minutes and I could feel my eyes getting heavier by the second.

“Chris...” I yawned

“Hmm?” he hummed 

“I lied... I guess I am scared.”

“Of what baby?”

“Getting hurt.”

“I’ll never hurt you. I promise.”

I let those words linger around in my head and before I knew it, I was out.

Chris:

 Two Weeks Later:

Miami: Monday May 14, 2018 2:40 PM

Things have felt so off and negative lately it’s enough to make your skin crawl. Stormy just walks around in this funk and it’s so hard to handle so I’ve been working my ass off at practice; going in on my days off, going in early and staying late- the whole nine... all of it just to avoid being home.

Last week in court we were denied to bring Emmy home and it wrecked Stormy... I’ve been avoiding it all to try and hide the fact that I’m hurting too but it’s no use. It broke our hears. We have another hearing in about a month but it feels so hopeless. Apparently in the eyes of the judge, we aren’t ready to have Emmy home. He’s asked us to sign up for a few parenting classes and have more meetings with her and our worker Stephanie so we can have a better understanding of it all. 

“Good job boys” Coach called out. “Give me two laps and call it a day.”

After pushing myself so hard today I felt so tense and aggravated. I was so deep in my own thoughts nothing I felt like I’d never snap out of it. I pushed out the two laps and as I was headed to the ocker rooms coach called me over.

“What up, coach?” I huffed out of breath wiping the sweat from my forehead with my shirt

“I just wanted to check in on you, make sure everything’s alright. You’ve seemed a little off lately and I’m a little worried about you, especially with the hefty plate you have in front of you.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m alright, I’m good. I’m stressed, but I’ll be alright.” He raised a brow like he didn’t believe me. “Really coach. I’m fine. I think I just need to blow off some steam.”

“Alright. Well just take it easy. Are you ready for this weekend?”

“Yeah, I’m stoked. This event is always all over the news and I can’t believe I’m apart of it.”

“It’s so great, it’s a great time and you get paid for it. Win, win.” He chuckled with a shrug

“Yeah definitely. I’ll be ready coach. I promise.”

“Alright, get out of here.” He patter my shoulder and I was off to the showers. I couldn’t seem to get the water hot enough to satisfy my aggravated body enough to relax making me more irritated than I already was so I cut it short and packed up my bag and headed out. I was hungry, and knew I needed to eat something but with the way my stomach was feeling I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to hold it down so I just headed home hoping that I could crawl into bed and sleep the rest of the night away. 

When I walked in, I tossed my gym bag down by the door and shuffled off for my bed. To my surprise, Stormy was snuggled up sound asleep. I wont lie it brought a small smile to my lips. I kicked off my shoes and snuggled up next to her.. The second I was in bed , she crawled on top of me and ran her hands up and down my chest as she started kissing on my neck. I closed my eyes enjoying her touch feeling myself finally starting to relax. 

“Damn, baby.” I groaned lowly as she started sucking lightly 

I rolled us over so I was on top and pinned her arms to the bed. I smiled down at her but my smile quickly faded when I saw that her eyes were puffy like she’d been crying. I raised a brow, asking what was wrong without really having to ask.

“I don’t feel well.”

“What’s the matter?” I asked falling down to the bed next to her

“I don’t know.” she sighed “I guess with all of this going on I’m stressed to the point where it’s making me sick to my stomach.”

“Don’t let it get to you, Storm. Emmy will be home with us before you know it. There’s nothing to make yourself sick over. We got this. And, Besides, I need you feeling better for this weekend.”

“What’s happening this weekend?”

“The big charity event. Buckets for bucks. Every year it’s a big thing and it’s basically just a bunch of people who sign up to play basketball all weekend for a a different charity every year. Some people are sponsored for each basket they make, and some just donate. Every year the NBA training camp is involved.” 

“Oh. So you want me to participate?” she asked with an unsure chuckle

“No..Well, if you want to. I was just figured you’d be with me for support.”

“Well, of course. I’m more than happy to be there with you.”

“Good.” I yawned snuggling more into the bed and closed my eyes

“Chris...”

“Hmm” I murmured 

“Can we go get some food? I’m hungry.”

“I promise if you let me take this nap right quick I’ll take you to go get some food in a little bit.”

“Fine.” she whined and kissed my forehead before disappearing into the living room

I was sleeping so good but my phone kept vibrating beneath me and I was starting to get aggravated so I sat up and finally answered after the third call

“Yeah? I huffed”

“Hi, Chris. This is Stephanie. I’m sorry to be a pest but I needed to get a hold of you before I left the office today and Stormy wasn’t answering her phone either. I’m leaving in the morning for a family emergency and I’ll be out of town for a little while so we’ll need to postpone your visit with Emerald.”

“Oh, alright.”

“I’m really sorry about all of this last minute. I’ll give you a call first thing when I’m back in the office.”

“Okay, I’ll let Stormy know. Thanks for the heads up,”

“Sure thing. We’ll talk soon. Bye now.”

I rubbed over my tired eyes and let out a loud yawn. As much as I wanted to just lay back down and sleep for the rest of the night I knew I had to get up.

“Hey sleepy head.” she called out with a smile as I walked into the living room.”

“Where’s you phone at?” I asked sitting down next to her.

“In my room charging, why?” 

“Stephanie was calling.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, she’s just gonna be out of the office for a family emergency so we have to postpone our visit.”

“Oh, okay. As long as everything is okay with Em.”

We got comfortable on the couch and continued watching her show on Netflix. I wasn’t really into it, but I enjoyed being close with her. It was peaceful and had me feeling a lot more relaxed than I’d been all day... until my phone started buzzing with text after text

Mimi: hi... can we talk?

Mimi: i need to grab some things from the house...

Mimi: well... r  u gonna be home this weekend? maybe we can talk over dinner?? lmk.

Mimi: i miss u chirs

Mimi: it’s so hard being a way from u... i hate it sm

I let out a hefty sigh and dropped my phone into my lap. I was not trying to kill my mood with all of this but it certainly didn’t stop me from getting a headache.

“What’s wrong baby?” Stormy cooed 

“Nothin’“ I muttered with a shrug

“Liar. Your tense.”

“I just have a headache is all.”

“Let me make you feel better baby.” she purred crawling into my lap.

She tangled one hand in my growing curls and kissed me slowly teasing me with her tongue. She pulled away from the kiss slowly with my bottom lip tucked between her teeth. She gave it a little tug and let it plop back into place. She peered down at me with a cheeky grin before tucking her face into my neck making me groan lowly as she hit all the right spots. I could feel my tension melting away little by little.

“Let’s take this to my room baby.”

She ignored me and continued to take charge. I hissed lowly as she reached into my pants and exposed me. My head hung back as she continuously stroked at a steady pace. I was so close to finishing when there was a pound at the door.

“Fuck it. Don’t stop.” I pleaded 

“Chris! Open up!” Mimi shouted from the other side of the door.

Stormy sucked her teeth and got up from my lap. I rolled my eyes watching her storm off the room with an attitude.

“Chris! Hello? I know you’re in there.” Mimi barked with another pound to the door.

I pulled my pants up and stomped over to the door. I snatched it open as hard as I could and gave her a glare.

“What?” I snapped furrowing my brows at her

“I told you I needed to come by and get some things.” she said as her eyes looked me over she stopped at my neck and sighed “I’m sorry I didn’t know  you had company over.”

“I don’t” I snapped “Just hurry and get whatever you need.”

“I can’t stay?” shed asked chewing on her bottom lip

“Look, Mimi. I’m not trying to be a fucking prick right now but I was really in the middle of something and here you come pounding at the door like the fucking police, and that’s pretty fucking irritating. And, I’m definitely not in the mood for this conversation with you right now.”

She walked in after me and went straight for what used to be our room and I went in the other direction to Stormy’s room.

“She’s just getting a few things ans she’s leaving.”

About an hour later after we’d finished out last round in the shower we were comfy in sweats and ready to go finish watching TV  but to both of our surprise, there Mimi sat on the couch with a death glare pointed our way.

“Really Chris?” she snapped folding her arms over her chest. “Her? Really? This whole time it’s been her? I couldn’t believe you’d cheat on me, but with her of all people?”

“Why are you still here?” I spat “What did you stand by the door and listen to us? I wanted space Mimi, get the fuck over it.”

“Screw you Chris. I can’t believe you did this to me.” She sobbed

I heard Stormy slam her door behind me and I knew she was irritated with me but, I’ll have to sort that out later... Seeing Mimi crying was bothering me and I knew I had to sweet talk her up to get her out of here.

“Mimi, we’re separated... I’m sorry you walked in on all that, and I’m not sure why you waited around, but I’m sorry for whatever you heard too.”

“I just have nowhere to go, Chris. Thus was my home, remember? And we’re apart so I have nothing now” she cried “What am I supposed to do now?”

“I don’t know, Mimi.... Can you ask Dej to stay there for a while longer? I have a big charity event this weekend and I’ll be out of town so maybe we can talk when I get home? I wasn’t trying to intentionally hurt you tonight, but you can’t get upset with me for fucking around. I am single right now and I do have needs.”

“But why her?” she whined with a frown

“I can’t help that I got attracted to her, Mimi. We spent a lot of time together... something you and I didn’t do. Just give me a few days, okay. I need a clear head for this weekend.”

“Okay.” She sighed

She picked up the two bags she had packed and walked out the door without saying another word. When the door closed behind her I finally let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“Is she gone?” Stormy asked poking around  the corner

“Yeah. I’m sorry baby. She’s just hurting.”

“I know, I understand.”

“That’s why you’re so amazing.”

“I’m hungry, and you did promise to take this amazing girl out for food after your nap.”

“Yeah, I did, huh?”

“Yes, so let’s go before I starve to death.” 

As she walked away from m I couldn’t help but to stare at her ass and hips. She was getting thick and I loved it.

“Al this fucking we been doing has you looking hella thick baby.” I muttered biting on my bottom lip “God damn...”

“Quit starring at me and get your ass ready.” she giggled.

Thirty minutes later we had agreed on a bomb ass bar and grill joint waiting on our order. I enjoyed the dight of her sitting across from me happily sipping on her soda.

“Look baby, they’re hiring!”

“Yeah, I see that.”

“Well maybe I should apply? It would be nice to make my own money for a change.”

“Hell no! I’ll be damned if you’re up here waiting on these pervs. What do you need to work for anyways?”

“Because, baby. I mean having my own money really is necessary. I can’t mooch off of you forever.” 

“But I want to take care of you.” I admitted reaching across the table for her hand “Especially when Em comes home, don’t you want to be a stay at home mom?”

“Not so much...” she sighed

I knew I wasn’t winning this one so I didn’t budge when she rushed off to find the manager. She came back about five minutes as just as our burgers were arriving at the table. She sat down with a huge grin and wiggled her eyebrows at me.

“Guess who has an interview first thing tomorrow morning!”

I wasn’t thrilled but I couldn’t help the growing smile on my face. I knew she was going to do great. After we finished our food we moved over to the bar and ordered up a few shots

“Come on light weight.” I teased “You literally only finished one. I got like six down over here.”

“It’s not sitting well, I feel sick to my stomach.”

I chugged down a tall glass of water to weaken up the shots and we headed out. As soon as we were home, Stormy was running for the bathroom. I could hear her dinner coming back up on her and it made me feel bad for suggesting we take those shots.

Once she was finally well enough to get up, I helped her up to bed and she was fast asleep.I said a quick prayer hoping she was well for this weekend and was off to sleep myself.

[embracehappy]

Don’t Fight It  | Shawn Mendes Imagine

Summary: You are on vacation, visiting a friend, when you accidentally befriended a coffee shop barista who does her best to set you up with her other “friend”

a/n: This is the first fic I’ve written. Sorry it’s so long. I really liked the idea behind it, and I’m pretty proud of how it turned out. Please please please let me know what you think! I am open and accepting to constructive criticism!! But I also really love positive feedback <3

Part 2

Warnings: Swearing, Angst (i think?)

Word count: 3.9k

It was ironic, really: how y’all met. It was pure happen stance. You weren’t even supposed to be there. One night you just got really tired of not being able to see one of her best friends in the whole world. So, you booked a ticket. And that was that. 

The next thing you know, it is four weeks later and you are hopping off a plane. 

“Y/N!!!” You hear Eden S C R E A M as you exit security. You embrace your friend in a hug so tight that you lose your ability breathe for a moment. As you rock back and forth, an old man walks by and mumbles toward you both: “That is true happiness right there, never let it go.”

Wiping the tears forming in your eyes, Eden helps steady yourself as y’all walk towards where Eden had parked. You hadn’t seen Eden in over a year, causing the mild tears of joy.

You had never been so excited to be in a foreign place. You had never even been to Canada, and here you are in Toronto. Eden was lucky. She transferred out of your college after freshman year. It broke her heart to say goodbye to the friend group, but she just really needed to find a school with a better Environmental Science program. So, she went home to Washington DC. She had been working for the last year at her Aunt’s company when she wasn’t in classes. Somehow, she got a promotion, and then another, and then one more, and now she’s in Toronto. (You aren’t even completely sure what she does; she was only a secretary when she was first hired at the company.)

~~ “Are you ready?” Eden asks as she is turning her lock.

“Oh just let me in!” You squeal, excited to start your girls weekend. You push past her into the apartment and quickly notice that her Pinterest boards were not a waste. Eden lives a one bedroom apartment, somewhere in downtown Toronto. It may have been small, but it was gorgeous. It was the perfect mix of vintage and modern. White and sleek, but with tasteful splashes of dark wood and antiques. You are quick to notice the small tree in the corner of the room.

“Well that’s a fake plant” you scoff to your friend.

“Is not!” She fights back.

“You have many things, Eden, but a green thumb is not one!” You say as you walk over and feel it to ensure you are correct. You are, it’s fake.

“Whatever!” She yells, carrying your small carry-on bag into the bedroom. “Is this really all you brought??” Eden yells to you.

“Well, yeah! I’m only staying for four days!!”

~~ Two days have passed. You’ve been enjoying the trip of your life in Toronto with Eden. However, last night got the better of you and you stayed up way too late watching movies. Knowing that it was the one last Netflix original that did y’all in, you were both planning on sleeping in. However, your body had other ideas.

You jolted awake sometime around 9am. You decided to be a little selfish. As much as you love Eden, you wanted to go explore. You were missing your usual morning routine and were desperate to go on a jog. So you decide that you might as well do both, explore and jog.  

Quietly slipping into your leggings and clean sports bra, you are sure not to wake Eden as you grab her house key, along with your wallet and IPhone. You wander over to Eden’s closet. Surely, she has something you can borrow. Due to your light packing, you only brought one sweatshirt. The same sweatshirt that you accidentally ruined last night by spilling ice cream all down the front.

You almost laugh out-loud as you pull a grey sweatshirt off a hanger.

I can’t believe she still owns this!? She was always so obsessed with his music!

You slip the crewneck over your head. Giggling to yourself when you look down and see the “I would date u but ur not shawn mendes” plastered across your chest.

It’s only fitting, you are in Toronto, after all! Usually you would never wear something that would blatantly label you as a tourist, but you’re only here for a short stay. And, it’s not even your sweatshirt!

Eden had been the one to turn you on to Shawn Mendes’ music. She first played you his album when you were studying for finals during first semester. After that, you had to admit, you were a bit addicted to his music. The melodies just had a way of making you move. They gave you a weird feeling somewhere deep inside you that you didn’t know how to explain.

You hadn’t listened to Shawn Mendes’ music in a while. So, deciding you might as well be extra ironic, you chose the SHAWN MENDES playlist on Spotify, hit shuffle, and step out the door.

~~ You ran for about a half hour, though the streets of downtown, before you are quickly realizing that you are lost. You slow your pace and start looking around, thankful you are in Toronto and not Montreal. (Eden had been telling you about a weekend trip she took to Montreal, but it was a disaster because there was a lot more French than she was planning for.) You know you can’t be that far from Eden’s apartment building, simply because you were careful not to go too far. You had purposely gone in circles, running down the same few streets more than once. But, you had gotten just a bit too adventurous on your last round and now you’re standing in an area you don’t recognize.

You start walking. Actually, you start wandering. You are trying to spot that one really tall and pointy tower, knowing if you can find it, you could correct yourself back into the right direction.

You walk for about 5 more minutes before you give up. All you can think about is a coffee shop that you had seen two blocks back. It has been consuming your thoughts because you are quite hungry now. You decide to turn around and walk back to it, feeling like the coffee shop is calling you.

~~ It is 9:45am when you walk into the shop. A very friendly looking red head smiles to you. The shop is empty. It is clear that the morning rush had already come through and now this local was just staying open in an attempt to be nice to any non-regulars.

“Hey hun! Don’t be shy! I promise I won’t bite!” She smiles to you as cautiously walk up to the counter, noticing her nametag reads “Anna”.

“I would like a medium vanilla latte… um, please.”

“Sure thing!” She says as she goes to prepare your drink, flashing you a smile again. “Can I get your name?” She calls to you from behind the machine.

“Y/N!” You say to her. Suddenly realizing that you are now smiling too.

“Y/N, huh. Pretty name!”

She must have recognized your accent: “If you don’t mind, we don’t get a whole lot of Americans through this shop. So, I’m officially declaring you my friend!”

You are taken aback by her forwardness. You are not sure if it’s just her personality or a Canadian thing.

“Oh. Ok!” You respond. “Well, I am officially declaring you my first Canadian friend!” You then explain to her how you had been visiting a friend from college, but were adventuring out on your own this morning.

The two of you really hit it off, becoming basically best friends almost immediately. It must be because you are in a different country, but you have no problem with opening up to the stranger. You even exchange Instagram’s at one point. Sitting at the bar, you discuss your whole life with her. She listens as you tell her about your exes and your family. And then you do the same when she talks about her girlfriend and her family. You are about the same age, so it is easy for y’all to relate to each other stories. You are laughing, about how you both had a family cat named Steven, when you hear the door chime.

“Anna!” you hear a booming voicing behind you call out. The voice is loud, but not intimidating. And vaguely familiar?  He sounds like he could be about yours and Anna’s ages. “Are you actually replacing me! I thought Sunday morning talks were OUR thing!” He says, drawing out the “our” in an unbelievably cute way. You cannot believe you are actually thinking someone’s voice was cute.

Suddenly, you feel his presence leaning up against the counter next to you. The next thing you know, a heavy arm is being rested around your shoulders, pulling you into him.

“Anna! When I said I wanted to meet your girlfriend, I didn’t mean for you to bring her to OUR morning coffee date!”

You saw Anna’s face turn bright tomato red with shock. The arm’s owner must have realized that he was mistaken, as you feel the arm tense and lift up slightly.

“Anna… please tell me this is your girlfriend and not a complete stranger that I just put my arm around…”

Anna responds sheepily: “Well…. Um…. She’s not a stranger… to me…. She my newest friend!”

Anna’s face is no longer red as she is now grinning. “Shawn, meet Y/N!”

Shawn turns to look at you and for the first time you actually look up at him. And all you can see is his jaw line.

Damn.

You can hear Anna begin to speak again: “She’s American! She’s here for the weekend, visiting a friend from college. She’s… like... actually super cool and I need you to be really friendly and open and to not make any judgements okay, Shawn?”

You look back at Anna and see how she is suddenly giving him a frantic look. She’s trying to communicate something to him with her gestures. You look up at him again.

He is staring intensely at you. His eyes raking up and down you, pausing momentarily on your breast. You can’t quite figure out which emotions are hiding behind his eyes. You can’t even figure out what is going on between Anna and him.

And then it hits you.

The sweatshirt. The jawline. Shawn.

Shawn Mendes has his arm around you.

~~ He looks older than you remember him looking. You hadn’t been following his recent activity. So, you guess it makes sense though, for him to look so much older. He is your age, after all. And you definitely don’t look the same from the first time you heard his music.

Shawn’s arm is quickly retracted. It looks like he has chosen to be cautious, that’s how his eyes seem to appear at least.

He stumbles over his words when he speaks to you.  “How did you find my favorite shop?” he says in an accusatory tone. “I’m so careful when I come here. The last thing I need is a superfan to ruin our mornings. I thought I told you to text me, Anna!” Shawn’s attention is now focused on Anna, who is getting very defensive very quickly.

Anna is throwing her arms up and begins raising her voice at him, something about how he needs to trust her and to just stop accusing her new friend of something.

You aren’t really paying attention.

Your head is spinning. You can finally get a good look at him. He is wearing a pink hoody under a jean jacket, black jeans, and a classic pair of black boots. And then your body goes numb and all you can hear is the word “superfan” rotating around in your head. Your vision goes blurry.

You fall off the bar stool.

~~ You’ve passed out. You can’t move or see, but you can hear. You can overhear Anna and Shawn.

“OH SHIT” Anna screams! An “oh my god” falls out of Shawn’s hushed voiced. “HELP HER YOU ASSHOLE”

You can feel a strong hand grabbing your arm and another suddenly on your back. You were being gently rolled to lay on your back.

“I CANT BELIEVE YOU REACTED LIKE THAT” Anna screams again. “Well I’m not going to pick her up while she’s unconscious!” “No! Not that! EARLIER! You dumbass! I didn’t text you because she’s insanely cool and you’re going to like her!” “SHE just WANTS you to like her, Anna! She’s a SUPERFAN!! She’s just trying to get CLOSE to ME! HELL! Maybe even she FAKED passing out! How do I know she hasn’t already tweeted my location to hundreds of followers on her FANACCOUNT--” “—OH MY GOD SHAWN! Did you even she her! Her phone is over HERE on the counter! And She didn’t move a muscle as soon as you wrapped YOUR ARM AROUND HER!”

You suddenly feel your body return to you. As you begin moving, a hush falls over the two.  Next thing you know, you can feel Shawn next to you, trying to coax you out of your fog. Saying gentle things like “That’s it. Take it easy. I’ve got you.” Shawn’s helping you lift your head.

“I only want you to be happy” You hear Anna mumble to him. “You’re not my match maker” He responds, almost inaudible.

~~ As soon as you completely come to, anger floods your body. You were livid.

Yes, you were a fan, but in no way were you a “SUPERFAN” and Shawn should NOT have risen his voice at your new friend.

You sit up. Testing your words: “I… I am not…” You feel confident as your anger is quickly becoming rage.

“I am NOT a SUPERFAN! And HONESTLY…. The FACT that you ASSUMED as much really wants me to REVOKE my status of REGULAR mediocre FAN… WHO had NO IDEA that this is YOUR FAVORITE coffee shop in all of FUCKING TORONTO!! IM just HERE to visit a FRIEND and I HAPPENED to make another FRIEND! IM SORRY we CANT have the SAME FRIENDS, YOUR HIEGHNESS. I didn’t KNOW you OWNED all YOUR favorite SPOTS in Toronto!... YOU are an ASSHOLE! I KNOW how this works! YOU’RE just being KIND TO ME right now because you HAVE TO BE! HEAvon forbid something SHOWS up on the INTERNET about how THE Shawn MENDES treated a fan POORLY! I heard what you SAID!! You think IM SOME CRAZY FAN with a FANACCOUNT and all the SHIT!”

You notice Shawn’s face growing bright red and he is staring at you in bewilderment. Anna is smirking. But you kept firing off:

“I CANT Believe you! All you FAMous people are the same! YOURE ALL STUCK UP ASSHOLES! And to think that your fans actually think you’re WHOLESOME!  WHAT THE FUCK, SHAWN MENDES?!?!”

You finally stop. He is hanging his head low. Anna glances down to you. “Couldn’t have said it better myself, hun.”

“But….. But your sweatshirt…?” Shawn questions timidly.

“It’s my friends FUCKING sweatshirt.” You say with a little less anger in your voice, but still firm. “In fact, I remember when she bought it. I made fun of her for A WEEK about it! I only wore it so that when I got back to her apartment, after my run, we could laugh about it...” you trail off, suddenly realizing that you are sharing way more information than you should with the asshole standing in front of you.

But you couldn’t help it. You had the weird feeling, that usually was caused by his music, currently fluttering about in your stomach. You were angry but you still wanted to talk to him. You decide instead to shut up, ignoring your gut.

Anna is helping you stand now, placing you into a chair at one of the tables. Shawn follows behind her like a sad puppy.

“Okay. You both stay here, eh. I’m going to get Y/N some water.” Anna says before she disappears into the back.

Anna has been gone a lot longer that she should’ve been. You assume this probably has something to do with those last comments you overheard when you were on the ground. Or you think you overheard. They were so quiet and quick at the end that maybe you may have hallucinated them.

You weren’t sure. Because of it, you didn’t know how to continue.

~~ In an attempt to ground yourself, you try reflecting on the current situation:

Okay, so I’m sitting in an empty coffee shop with Shawn Mendes. And I just YELLED at him? And now he’s looking like I just told him his dog died. What the fuck is even happening right now…

A few more seconds pass. You are about to give up waiting for Anna and just leave altogether. You’re really confused and just want to return to Eden’s apartment, when suddenly:

“I’m sorry…”

“What?” You say, shocked.

“I’m sorry.” Shawn says with more confidence. “I didn’t mean you any harm. I just… I need to be careful. I thought I could trust Anna… Er… I can trust Anna. But for a moment there, when I saw you, and then my name on your.. er… your friend’s sweatshirt… I… I panicked.”

There’s an awkward moment of silence. You didn’t know how to respond. You definitely weren’t expecting an asshole celebrity to be apologizing to you today… or any day for that matter.

Must be a Canadian thing.

Shawn looks up. His eyes are a little puffy and you can tell he’s trying not to cry.

Nope. This is a Shawn Mendes thing.

“Um… It’s ok… I totally shouldn’t have snapped at you… I understand why you need to be careful…. I guess…..”

Your gaze meets Shawn’s and he holds for longer than you expect. He seems to be accepting what you said, but still looks very sad.

“NO…no.. It’s totally my fault... I deserved to be yelled at… I treated you like shit. I’m so sorry.”

His eyes are still locked on yours.

“We haven’t even had a proper introduction yet” He says extending his hand.

“um… I’m Shawn” His mouth is curling up a bit at the corners, flashing you a bashful smile. His other hand is rubbing the back of his neck and for a moment his eyes glance to the ground. And you think you see him beginning to blush.

“Y/N” you say with a bit more confidence than he, but the lack of air in your lungs takes you by surprise. You can feel yourself blushing with embracement.

~~ Anna has returned with 3 waters. She places them down on the table and then walks over to the coffee shop’s door. Flipping the open sign to “closed” and locking the door. When she walks back, she sees the confused look on your face because she quickly shoots out: “I always close up when Shawn comes in… ya know… To give him… privacy.. from fans…”

Shawn looks up to her like he’s about to say something, but then everyone’s attention is quickly taken to the counter, where you phone is vibrating. Anna runs over and grabs it, running it back to you.

“It’s Eden, hun.”

You answer the phone to a frantic Eden: “OH my god!! Why didn’t you answer! I’ve called you three times already! I saw you weren’t here and I figured you went on a run, but then you didn’t answer and I assumed the worst!--”

You cut her off: “Eden! OMG Eden! Breathe! I’m fine! I’m in a coffee shop! I didn’t notice my phone going off because I fainted--”

“--OMG You fainted Why?? Are you Ok-”

“Yes, Eden. I’m fine. I just fainted because…” You glance up and see Shawn and Anna staring at you. Shawn is giving you an interesting look. Almost like he’s studying you.  Your eyes linger on his briefly, “because… well… I’ll tell you about it later. It’s not important. Anyway, what are we doing today... I leave on Monday…”

“How about you come back to my apartment and we can discuss that. I want to make sure you’re feeling ok?”

“Yeah sure, I’ll come back. But I didn’t faint because I don’t feel well… I fainted because I… I’ll explain it later…” you say as you stand up. Blood rushes to your head and you slump back down into your seat. “Actually… maybe you can come pick me up… I’m.. I’m at…” you glance up towards Anna to get the name of the coffee shop, but instead hear Shawn speak up: “No… I’ll take you… tell your friend.”

You try to cover the mic on your phone and pull it from your face. “No. You don’t have too. Eden can come get me. Really. I don’t want to be an inconvenience. Seriously it’s--”

“--NO. I made you faint. It won’t be an inconvenience it’s literally the least I can do… please?”

You feel the blood in your head and you can’t seem to find the will to fight Shawn. “Fine, I guess.” You to say to him, shaking your head in annoyance.  

Back on the phone with Eden: “Actually, I got a ride. I’ll be back at you place soon, okay?

But Eden is quick to catch on, clearly hearing everything you and Shawn had said: “Woah, woah, woah… First of all, if you’re not okay, I should be the one picking you up. You’re my guest! And also: Who MADE you faint? That’s… like…. Not ok? Are you sure you’re fine?”

“Eden, I swear I’m fine.”

“Since when did Y/N decide to accept rides from strangers? You’re clearly not yourself… you would never get into a car with someone you don’t trust! And it takes you FOREVErrrrr to trust anybody!”

“Eden it’ll be fine. I’m fine. I definitely think that the person I’m about to get a ride with is trustworthy. And I know his friend. She’s cool. It’ll be fine.”

“Okay fine, whatever. But if I have to explain to your mom why you went missing in Canada, you better believe that I’ll kill you, even if you are already dead.”

“Oh my gosh, Eden. I’ll be fine.”

“Send me your location. So, I can track you. Just to be safe.”

“Yes Ma’am. See ya soon.” You say jokingly as you hang up.

You quickly share your location with Eden.

God bless IPhones.

You look back up at Shawn and Anna. Shawn hasn’t taken his eyes off you. But for some reason it doesn’t feel creepy.

Anna is looking very pleased.

“Great! So you have a ride back. I’m glad. You’ll be safe. Shawn’s a really great driver.” Anna casually says as she stands from the table and shoots another look to Shawn.

Shawn is now standing and putting his arm around your waist, helping you to your feet.

“Oh, no I can do it.” You protest. But your comment only makes Shawn tighten his grip.

“Don’t fight it, hun!” Anna calls back to you. She has already begun bouncing towards the back of the coffee shop.

You think about what she said. Not quite certain what she was referring to with “it”. As Shawn and you move closer to the door. You are quickly considering that you and Shawn are about to be in a car alone, together….

“Don’t fight it, hun!”

[beckettsthoughts]

i'm more than happy to hear a rant about ur day if u want

Oh I am more than happy to rant, anon. I am delighted to rant.

I have had the day from Hell.

First of all, I had a nine o’clock class. I had a nine o’clock class, which I had to attend after only two hour’s sleep and a major breakdown. I started getting awful visual snow because I was so tired and it was so bright, and whenever that happens I get paranoid that I might get a migraine because oftentimes one of the first signs that I was about to get a migraine was the static film over my vision. So I looked in my medicine box and that’s when I freaked out, because I could not for the life of me find my Migraleve. I phoned my mum, wondering if she’d seen it while we were unpacking and remembered where it might be, and that’s when I found out that she decided not to pack it with my medicines because I hadn’t needed it last year. Now, that’s fair, I haven’t had a migraine in a while but there’s something terrifying about being alone, away from home and anyone who knows how to help me, and with absolutely no medicine that could help the pain if I happened to get one. That honestly really scared me. 

Class was okay, as good as class is ever going to be that early in the morning when you, your classmates and your seminar leader are all equally exhausted, hungry, and allocated an unheated room in a portacabin at the bottom of a steep hill. It’s an interesting subject and one I would ordinarily enjoy, but you can imagine that I was beginning to run low on my ability to function by the time we could leave.

I finally got back to my flat just after lunchtime and the moment I walked through the door was the moment I remembered that, oh yeah, the fire drill we had on Monday blew the fuse in the lift and so I had to climb up fifteen little flights of stairs to reach my third-floor flat. And so I climbed, on wobbly, exhausted legs with the weight of three novels and a laptop on my shoulder. After a short nap to try and regain some semblance of humanity, I was woken up by three of my flatmates shrieking, full on banshee wailing and that’s when I blearily opened my door to discover that we had a ladybird infestation. You’d think hey, ladybirds are cute right? Not when you’re staring at twenty of the little buggers crawling across your flatmate’s bed. We called housing, and they refused to help. Ladybirds aren’t ‘harmful’ pests apparently, even though they can bite and there were at least a few hundred across the three infested rooms. So, being the only person who wasn’t screaming, I got the hoover. I spent an hour with three of my flatmates hoovering up rogue ladybirds and whenever we thought we were finished and went to one of other’s rooms to suck up the little fuckers from in there, more would appear in the room we’d just cleared.

Perhaps, at this point, you’d think not much more could go wrong. You would be naive to assume, because at six o’clock I was roused by a near-on heart-attack as the fire alarm went off. I have to explain that in our building, you can hear the fire alarm slowing starting to blare from the floors below and it creates this eerie feeling of dread as you wait and see if it’s in your building or next door. That said, I don’t mind the alarm so much. Sure, the adrenaline leaves me shaking, but it’s a part of university life. What did bother me, however, is what happened while we were crowded outside the building waiting to be let back inside. 

At my university, Wednesday nights are carnage. The student union is transformed into a giant nightclub, groups of students dress up and parade outside the flats yelling at the top of their lungs, and then there are the freshers. The freshers are everything bad about regular partygoers to the power of ten. They scream, they vandalise, they hammer on the doors at all hours of the night, blasting music so loud the whole apartment block can hear. A few mights a week, when I’m safely tucked in my room, I don’t mind it one bit. 

As my flatmates and I huddled together outside of our block, we could hear a crowd approaching. We’d already had a couple of groups of drunk freshers barging through, chanting at the top of their voices like the sensory overload wasn’t already bad enough. This lot, though, sounded like an honest-to-God mob. We stood aside to let them pass, and then in return they launched their plastic pint-glasses of beer over everyone waiting outside of the building. Maybe if we all looked like we were about to go out clubbing and join in then that would be more of a harmless prank but no, about half of the people in my building were left outside in our pyjamas, dressing gowns and slippers all beer-soaked and sticky. It was disgusting. I honestly felt like I was worth no more the dirt on the bottom of someone’s shoe as I shivered there, shaking with both rage and humiliation, until the security staff let us back inside and I could go and clean myself off.

Just, yeah. It’s been a genuinely rotten day following an already rotten night. Now I finally feel like I can relax again, if nothing else. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.

[jeontaeh]

〚THIRTY FOUR〛

Taehyung was never this anxious before.

Walking into breakfast on the first day of the week- he took a sandwich from the canteen and then spotted his friends sitting with the rest of the football guys. Except Jimin and Jungkook were sitting on another table with Eka and Sehun.

Taehyung walked up to the footbal guys. He saw Youngjae telling the rest of the guys some story, and everyone was laughing loudly. But when Taehyung got there, Youngjae spotted him and then hesitated, quietening. "I-I'll tell you guys later." Youngjae mumbled.

Taehyung opened his mouth to say something, but then saw Yugyeom mumbled something to Bambam, and both of them get up and leave to go sit with Jungkook. Everyone was kind of quiet, not knowing what to say.

Taehyung gulped. "I've got some- some homework to finish. So I'll go." Taehyung mumbled, and then walked away from the table. When he did, he heard all of them begin talking and laughing again.

Taehyung walked out of the food hall and sighed. He didn't feel hungry anymore. Taehyung just threw the sandwich in the dustbin and walked to the only place he could get some peace. The art room.

Taehyung walked into the small room and then sat down on one of the chairs, remembering how a few months ago- Jungkook was sitting on his lap at this exact spot, talking about how he thought bees were very cute. And Taehyung had just smiled and kissed his cheek and said how he thought Jungkook was very cute. And Jungkook blushed and hid his face with his hands.

Taehyung almost smiled at the memory, but then remembered. Remembered how after the two went to the boys' lounge, and Taehyung ignored Jungkook completely and made some homophobic comments. And how Jungkook looked disheartened and kept trying to tell Taehyung something, but Taehyung didn't listen and instead continued fucking around with the other guys.

Taehyung cursed to himself. How did he not notice that Jungkook had a crush on him?

Taehyung took his phone out and began going through old texts of him and Jungkook. They hadn't texted for weeks. The last text was this.

Kookie hey taetaehyungie

Kookie i thought abt what u said 😙

Kookie on my way to your room right now!!

Kookie 💞💞 im gonna give u many many kisses !!

Taehyung let out a small breath he didn't know he was holding. Fuck. Fuck- they were so close to being together. Taehyung was so close to holding Jungkook every night and calling him his baby. Taehyung was so fucking close to having one good thing in his life.

But instead, everything went wrong. So- so quickly.

Taehyung scrolled through their texts and let out a small smile at some of them that occurred when everything seemed fine.

Kookie youre a little meanie

Taehyung you're the one that left without kissing me goodbye 😡

Kookie BC I HAD HOMEWRK ): i HATE u

Taehyung no u dont

Taehyung pretty babie

Kookie i like u sm ):

Taehyung when I see u next I'll kiss ur cute butt

Kookie EWWW i <3 u

Taehyung heard the door of the art room open, and turned with widened eyes and saw Jungkook. "Oh-" Jungkook let out, fingers tightening around the door handle. "What- what're you doing here?"

"I just came here to... be alone, I guess," Taehyung mumbled, and saw how Jungkook was looking away, awkward.

"Okay," Jungkook said, and then walked inside and towards the cupboard to take his art file. He grabbed it, and then looked at Taehyung wearily. Jungkook opened his mouth to say something, but Taehyung did first.

"Kook," Taehyung let out, and then stood up. "I-I never meant to hit you."

Jungkook looked at him for a few seconds. "Okay," Jungkook mumbled, sounding unconvinced. Taehyung sighed.

"I didn't mean to. I swear. I just- I can explain everything. I promise," Taehyung said, taking a step towards him. "It's my father- he-he's terrible. And when I was younger, my-my mom said these things to me-"

"Okay, V- I don't care," Jungkook said, and Taehyung stilled, looking at him. "Stop telling me all this. It doesn't concern me."

"O-okay. Okay. I know- I know that. I just- um- I-I thought I should tell you, b-because-"

"Well don't. I don't want to know whatever backstory you're going to make up to somehow redeem yourself. It isn't going to happen, because I don't care." Jungkook said harshly, and Taehyung nodded quickly.

Jungkook walked two steps towards the door and then turned around. "And also- don't hang out here. This isn't your little hangout. I only introduced you to this place because I... I trusted you. I don't want you to be here. Go hang out with the football guys or something."

"Yeah o-okay. Sorry." Taehyung stammered and then saw Jungkook walk out and slam the door shut. Taehyung flinched lightly, and then turned around, coiling his hands into fists and sighing.

///

Taehyung was sitting on the side benches, watching the other boys play while he sat out. The distant sound of the whistle felt like white noise to him. He just sat there, watching as Sehun kicked another ball into the goal effortlessly, and then smiled when the other boys congratulated him. Taehyung just watched.

Earlier that day in class, he'd had to watch as Sehun kept complimenting Jungkook and saying all this stuff about him and how pretty he was- and Jungkook kept blushing lightly and telling him to shut up. Taehyung could just watch.

"You're so good! Aw, we're going to kill those dudes at the Seoul Championship next year!" Hoseok cheered, and Sehun laughed.

"Sehun?" Youngjae asked in a small voice. "The- um- the coach said you could teach me how to correct my footing-?"

Sehun smiled at him. "Of course, man! You're already really good, but if you just position your foot like this-" Sehun went on, and Taehyung saw as the boys surrounded him, all listening in, looking at ease.

The coach cleared his throat. "Okay, boys. I want all of you to write down on pieces of paper who you want the next Captain to be. The final decision will be mine, but I want to see what the rest of you think. And please- no drawing penises this time." The coach sighed.

"Sorry," Jackson mumbled, and the boys laughed.

Taehyung walked off the benches and began walking across the field. "Aren't you gonna vote, V?" Namjoon asked.

"No," Taehyung said, picking up his bag.

"You have to vote, V." The coach said, and Taehyung rolled his eyes. "I don't feel like it, Coach. You can decide through 13 votes, can't you-"

"Just be a part of the fucking team. Stop whining." Jimin snapped, and Taehyung looked at him and paused for a second. Taehyung walked over to the coach, and he handed Taehyung a piece of paper and a pen.

After a few minutes, all the votes were collected, and the papers were given to the coach. The coach counted and checked all of them, and then hummed.

"Right. 1 vote for Jackson. 2 votes for Jaebum. 10 votes for Sehun! Great," The coach said, and Taehyung just turned around to walk away, feeling a pained feeling in his gut.

"Who was the last vote for?" Someone asked. "V, but that doesn't count." The coach mumbled, and Taehyung frowned to himself.

"Seriously, dude? You votes for yourself?" Bambam asked, and Taehyung scoffed. "No, I didn't. I votes for Jackson."

"R-really!" Jackson asked, cheeks tinted. Taehyung hummed. "'Cause I didn't think anyone else would," Taehyung mumbled, and then turned around and walked away, didn't see Jackson look down sadly.

Who votes for him?

///

"Class dismissed." The teacher said after the bell rang, and everyone quickly got up and began walking out of the door. Taehyung slipped through the tables and grabbed an arm.

"Can we talk?" Taehyung asked, and then saw a frown. "I just- I feel like I should apologize."

"Yeah, you really fucking should." Eka snapped, and Taehyung looked at her with a sigh.

"Eka, listen. I never meant to hit him. I swear- I-" Taehyung began, and saw Jimin walk up to them after hearing what Taehyung said. "Please. Just hear me out. I know what I did was wrong. It was pathetic, it was- it was weak, and I hate myself for it. But-"

"Fuck off, V. It doesn't mater, because you're still going to be an asshole after this. Even if it was a mistake, it's not like you're going to learn and suddenly change." Jimin said with a scoff.

"Yeah, you're not me," Eka said, and Jimin laughed.

Taehyung felt weak. "I'm trying to change, I swear," Taehyung said in a small voice.

"Too late," Eka said, and she and Jimin turned around and walked out.

Taehyung took a deep breath. He felt that feeling he'd had for the past week where his insides would feel tightened and his breathing would get shorter and his stomach would feel inverted.

Taehyung picked his books up and walked out of the classroom, but when he did, he saw Jungkook walking away- rushing almost, and Sehun running behind him.

"I said no, Sehun," Jungkook mumbled, and Sehun sighed, grabbing Jungkook by his waist. Both probably didn't see Taehyung, who was leaning against the wall.

"Hey, come on-" Sehun said, and Taehyung felt his eyebrows furrow. Was Sehun hurting him? If Sehun was hurting him, Taehyung would kill- "Why no?"

"Because," Jungkook said. "I-I don't feel like dating anyone right now. You're really sweet, but I just don't feel like having a boyfriend." Taehyung's breath hitched.

"Why not, though?" Sehun asked. "I thought it was nice when we kissed last night... didn't you?"

Taehyung froze, tightening his grip around his books. Taehyung heard Jungkook giggle. "T-that was pretty nice. But- I just- I went through a pretty bad relationship not too long ago. I don't think I'm ready to jump into another one-"

"But Kookie! I'll treat you really well, I swear. I like you a lot, Kookie. I think you're really cool and funny and cute." Sehun said in a soft voice. "Can't you give me a chance?"

"I-I don't know," Jungkook said. "Everyone says stuff like that. It's too soon for me to trust another-" The words got cut off, and Taehyung heard the sound of kissing.

Taehyung heard with widened eyes as the sound of two lips being pressed together continued on for a bit, but then- "Sehun- no-" Jungkook said, pushing him off lightly. "I'm just... not ready yet. Sorry." Jungkook said. Sehun chuckled.

"No no- don't apologize. Don't worry about it! You're just so great, it's hard to resist." Sehun said, and Jungkook giggled. "But don't think this won't make me ask you out again next week. Or the week after that. Or the week after that. I'll wait till you're ready, Kookie." Sehun said, giving him a wink.

Jungkook smiled softly. Sehun looked at him for a few seconds. "Hey- if you want... you probably haven't done this before, so it'll probably sound really weird to you- but you know those kinds of relationships where people just... hook up?"

Jungkook froze. "No!" Jungkook said loudly. "No- look! Either I date you, or I don't. I don't want any of that fuckbuddies crap," Jungkook said frantically, sounding scared. "If that's what you want- then I don't want you to think about me like-"

"Okay- okay, relax. I was just asking, don't worry. Plus, I'm not the kind of guy to sleep around. I like intimacy and feelings and shit." Sehun said, and Jungkook giggled. Jungkook kissed his cheek and then saw Sehun blush a little and turn around to walk away.

Taehyung gulped and straightened up, turning to walk back to the dorms. He watched as Sehun walked past him, and saw how he was wearing a jersey, the captain's jersey.

Taehyung knew the long weekend was coming up- so he rushed into his bedroom, dropped his books, and instantly took his laptop out to book a train ticket back home.

///

The train ride from Busan to Daegu took an hour. Taehyung was in a blue coat, not wearing his bandana, looking outside at the greenery and snow in silence throughout.

He finally reached and picked his bag up, walking off the train. He walked out of the train station. He got a taxi and took it to where he needed to go. He reached the place and then saw a woman selling flowers and tea outside.

"Can I have one bouquet of those?" Taehyung asked, pointing at one of the purple lilies. The woman smiled and picked them out, handing them over to Taehyung. "And two cups of green tea, please," Taehyung said, and she handed that over too in small ceramic cups. Taehyung paid her.

"Thank you." She smiled, and Taehyung gave her a nod, and then turned and walked away, holding the small holdable tray of tea cups and purple flowers.

Taehyung walked on the damp dirt path, the only sound being that of birds chirping and tree branches rustling from the wind. Taehyung waked across the ground and finally reached. He saw the stone slab and felt his throat close up.

Kim Seoyeon 1982 - 2013 Loving and beautiful mother

Taehyung reached down, sitting beside the grave. "Hi mom." He whispered, feeling the lump in his throat that always rose. Taehyung placed the bouquet of flowers on her grave and placed the cup of green tea beside it.

Every time he visited his mother, he brought green tea for her. "I know I haven't met you for months. Truthfully... I was just... really happy for some time." Taehyung said, and then looked down at his fingers, gulping.

He looked at his mother's grave. "I'm sorry, mom," Taehyung said softly, feeling his skin tingle beneath his eyes, moisture growing in them. "I-I'm sorry."

He dragged his fingers down the dust on her gravestone. "I d-don't know w-what to do, how to- how to feel. I wish you were h-here." Taehyung let out and then looked down. "A-all these years. I hated dad. I hated him so much. B-but now I feel l-like I've become like him."

Taehyung sniffled, feeling a tear roll down his eye. "N-none of m-my friends like me anymore. T-the coach kicked me o-off as captain. T-the only person I liked... I h-hit him. I shouldn't have-" Taehyung began, and then put his hand on his face, tears rolling down his skin. "H-how am I any different t-than dad?"

Taehyung took a deep breath, looking up at the sky, seeing it blur in his vision. "I j-just-" Taehyung began, and then closed his eyes. "I don't want to d-disappoint you," Taehyung whispered.

Taehyung heard the silence after his words and then continued looking up, seeing the clouds meld together, moving slowly. He remembered the sound of his mother crying while his father hurt her because he kissed a boy.

He remembered how his mother came back later and cradled him in her arms, pressing kisses to his forehead. And then she told him she'd protect him forever.

Taehyung looked up. Protect him forever.

Taehyung looked at his mother's gravestone. His mother didn't leave his father as early as she did because she had Taehyung. His mother didn't divorce him because of Taehyung. His mother didn't tell her husband about anything bad Taehyung did to make sure he doesn't get yelled at.

Whenever Taehyung got bad grades or did something bad. His mother would keep quiet about it, and just tell Taehyung gently that it wasn't alright. Or if his father did find out, she'd talk to him softly and tell him to not take it out on Taehyung- that he's just a child, that he hadn't done anything wrong. To take it out on her instead.

Taehyung froze. His mother was always just trying to protect him.

She'd always been so loving, so kind, so accepting, so- so nurturing and mature. There's no possible way she could've been mean and vengeful towards anyone. Taehyung remembers after a certain dinner at home when his father had made some racist comments. Later his mother told him that his father was wrong, and there's no need for hatred against anyone for their race.

His mother taught him to be kind, to love everyone, to not hurt people, to be caring. His mother taught him to not treat people differently for their cast, color, creed, anything.

Taehyung sat up. There's no way she would be disappointed of Taehyung.

She would be happy.

She would be so happy that Taehyung found someone he liked so much. She'd ask him everything about Jungkook, and tease Taehyung for acting the way he would, and brush his hair and tell him to never hurt Jungkook.

She wouldn't be disappointed.

Taehyung smiled to himself. Maybe, just maybe he was wrong about his sudden epiphany. But deep on the inside, he knows his mother better than his father ever did. And he knows his mother would accept him in a heartbeat.

Taehyung got up from the dirt, smiling. "I love you, mama," Taehyung whispered, pressing a kiss to his fingertips and tracing them across her gravestone.

Being with his father for so long, Taehyung had become mean, rude, toxic to the people who showed him love. He'd become like his father.

Taehyung didn't like that. He didn't want to be that person- the person everyone hides from and is scared of and doesn't want to be around. Because that doesn't make him any different from his father.

And what else- Taehyung has never given a single fuck about what his father thought or did. So why would he start now? Frankly- Taehyung doesn't care. He doesn't care anymore.

He doesn't care about what anyone thinks. He's going to be like his mother and put himself first. He doesn't care.

He can love whoever he wants.

Taehyung reached school on Saturday night, the whole day passed by visiting his mother. He knew he only did it because the whole of next week he'd be thinking about how it was the anniversary of his mother's death. So he'd visited her earlier, gotten the closure he needed.

Taehyung rushed into the school building, dressed in his blue coat and beige high neck sweater and tan jeans. He rushed down the hallways of the dormitories, knowing where he was headed, knowing who he needed to talk to.

He was aware no one wanted to speak to him. But maybe. Just maybe- if-if he tried hard enough if he just was persistent enough-

Taehyung bumped into someone, not even realizing. He looked and saw Youngjae, whose eyes were widened in fright. "I-I'm so sorry-" Youngjae stammered, taking a step back.

But Taehyung put his hands on Youngjae's shoulders. "Don't worry," Taehyung said, and then smiled. "Youngjae- you're actually really good at football. What Sehun told you about the footing was wrong. I never told you this- but you shouldn't be playing mid. You should be playing striker. 'Cause you're really really good." Taehyung said, and Youngjae's eyes were wide.

"W-what?" Youngjae let out, and Taehyung gave him a look. "I'm sorry for ever being mean to you. I hope I can make up for how shit I was to you. I'll see you tomorrow. I need to go now. Bye!" Taehyung said and then continued running.

Youngjae's eyes were wide as saucers, and he almost fainted. Taehyung was high as hell, Youngjae thought. That could be the only explanation. But somewhere inside, Youngjae was happy. Really happy.

Taehyung rushed to Jungkook's room and then stopped, taking a deep breath. Taehyung knocked on the door twice. He waited for it to open, and then let out the deep breath when it did, and Jungkook was on the other side.

He looked beautiful. His hair was falling, must've just dried it. He was wearing a pink sweater and what looked like yoga pants. Jungkook looked at Taehyung. "What?" Jungkook asked, sounding annoyed.

"Jungkook," Taehyung said softly and then smiled hesitantly. "I know. I know you're mad at me. I know I'm a terrible person. I don't want you to think I'm trying to redeem myself. You don't have to accept my apology," Taehyung said, and Jungkook watched silently. "But I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Ever."

Jungkook was quiet. Taehyung took that as an indication to continued. "I know you don't like me. And I'm so sorry it took me so long to finally understand," Taehyung said, and then smiled at little. "Understand how goddamn stupid I was. I mean- fuck. If I just- If I weren't such an asshole, Kookie, maybe the two of us could've-" Taehyung trailed off, and saw Jungkook looking at him with widened eyes.

"What're you doing?" Jungkook asked, and Taehyung gulped. "Nothing. Nothing- don't think I'm here to kiss you and make you mine- or- or try and have sex with you or something weird. I've just realized. I realized t-that- I like you, Kookie." Taehyung said, and then dropped his head down. "I know you're thinking I sound really fucking stupid. But I like y-you so much. And-"

"No. N-no- don't do this," Jungkook said, shaking his head. "You're lying again. You just want to fuck me. You just-"

"No, not at all. I promise." Taehyung said weakly, looking at him closely. "Kookie, I've been thinking so much lately, a-and-" Taehyung began, and smiled a little. "J-just been thinking about you h-has been keeping me sane, Kookie. I m-mean, these past two weeks have b-been the worst for me. Just seeing you smile in the hallways was more than enough-" Taehyung said softly.

Jungkook looked at him for a few seconds in disbelief and then pushed past him, walking out of the room. Taehyung frowned and turned around, and then saw Sehun there. Taehyung saw as Jungkook walked up to Sehun, grabbed the taller boy by the collar, and pressed their lips together.

Taehyung stopped at the doorway, eyes wide. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Jungkook kissed Sehun firmly, moving their lips together with intensity. Taehyung watched in confusion and then saw Jungkook pull away.

"V-" Jungkook began, and then looked at him. "I never told you." Jungkook continued, trying to sound normal. "Sehun's my boyfriend,"

Taehyung froze. He watched Jungkook with wavering eyes and then saw Jungkook look up at Sehun with his big, big beautiful eyes, and smile at him. "He was very persistent." Jungkook giggled and saw Sehun smile.

Taehyung looked at them for a few seconds, and then felt his insides go lax, his mind go blank. "That's great," Taehyung said, voice parched. "I'll just- um- I-I'm gonna g-go," Taehyung said with a quick smile, and then turned around and walked away, heart beating rapidly.

Jungkook saw him walk away and then looked back at Sehun, who had his eyebrow raised. "...I'm your boyfriend now?" Sehun asked, and Jungkook gulped.

"Yeah. I'm ready now. I really am. I don't want to think or let my old- old relationship stop me. I like you, Sehunnie," Jungkook whispered, and Sehun smiled. "I don't want to be hesitant."

"Good, good," Sehun said, and then wrapped his arms around Jungkook's waist. "What was V here to talk about?"

"Nothing. He was being an asshole like usual." Jungkook giggled nervously, and Sehun snickered and then kissed Jungkook again. Jungkook kissed him back and then saw him pull away.

"I actually came here to ask you out again. Seeing as that won't be necessary, I'm gonna go back to the library and get my homework finished. See you at dinner." Sehun said, kissing Jungkook's cheek. Jungkook blushed and nodded, and then saw him walk away.

Jungkook took a deep breath and then walked back inside his room. He saw Jimin sitting on his bed. He'd heard everything, and had his eyes wide. Jimin gulped. He had to talk to Taehyung.

Taehyung rushed into his room and closed the door behind him, and then fell onto his bed, clutching his sheets tightly. Taehyung felt the moisture building up and cursed out. He didn't want to cry. Not again. Not constantly. Couldn't keep crying like this. Couldn't keep weakening himself-

Taehyung felt tears fall down his face and felt himself spiraling, powerless. Taehyung gripped his pillow tightly and gritted his teeth and tears continued rushing down his cheeks.

V. I never told you. Sehun's my boyfriend.

Taehyung pressed his face against his hands, feeling his nails scratching down his cheekbone in anger as he continued thinking of the way Jungkook smiled up at him.

Sehun's my boyfriend.

How Jungkook kissed him so firmly, grabbed his collar and looked up at him with big eyes. It was all too fucking much. He didn't want- didn't want Jungkook to leave him. Didn't want him to go away. Didn't want to lose him like he lost everyone else.

And god fucking damnit- Taehyung was such a terrible person. He was absolutely vile, horrible, fucking pathetic. He should be happy for Jungkook, be happy for his happiness. But no- Taehyung was selfish, and mean, and hated, and worthless. Jungkook deserved everything in the world except him.

Taehyung fell asleep crying, eyes clasped shut tightly. He knew the next week would be absolutely fucking terrible.

https://jeontaeh.tumblr.com/post/647264766967021568/thirty-five