#and shes kinda holding on to me so badly because she doesnt wanna be alone and she has such an awful track record w men but that means that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anarmorofwords · 3 years

Note

I kinda wanna write a better version of tlh where Tatiana is still insane but there's no Belial bc that makes zero sense to me

In this version there would be:

Kamanna done correctly with actual genderqueer rep and not toxic relationships

Barbra and Oliver bc fight me she didn't die

Genie and Filomena bc I love them and all the lightwoods are queer

The gracelet doesn't even happen bc I refuse to write that

Grace is pretty much still the same but she breaks off their(hers and james') relationship bc she notices that he loves Cordelia

No bad James. He's not a shitty person to Alastair, and he doesn't treat Cordelia like a sex object

Anna puts a stop to Kellington and Matthew's relationship before it gets serious. She also tries to get him to stop drinking all the time

Alastair apologizes around seeing them again for the first time. The merry thieves are a little reluctant because of some of the things he did but they don't actively try to keep him away from events that they're at

Matthew notices how Alastair looks at Thomas and locks them in the sanctuary with Genie and Cordelia's help

Grace gets badly injured due to a mistake in necromancy and Christopher helps her treat it without letting people know

Lucie meets Jesse, and falls in love ofc, so in order to bring him back successfully she asks Malcolm to train her in using her magic

Matthew opens up to his mom about the incident. She doesn't blame him at all and instead apologizes for often putting her work before him

Matthew finds out about Charles and Alastair because he found Alastairxs break up letter to Charles

Matthew, the mother hen he is, decided to attempt to murder his older brother, only being stopped by James who had been there at the right time

Kamala ends things with Charles and tells Anna that she still loves them and hopes that she will give her another chance

Anna told her that they needed time to think, and that she is worried how Kamala's reputation will be affected if anyone besides their friends and Anna's family finds out

Kamala respects her decision and doesn't contact her until Anna's ready to talk about things

The merry thieves don't ignore Christopher and they actively listen and help him

The merry thieves also aren't terrible to Grace bc they realize she's been isolated alone with Tatiana and 1) she might not understand what's saying/doing is wrong or 2) that sometimes she's trying to push them away so her abilities don't accidentally make them do something

Good tid parents

James and Alastair being respectful to each other despite personal differences

Matthew, Alastair, Kamala, Christopher, and Grace being besties, or as I call them, the neglected squad

No fetishizing mlm/wlw

Domestic cuddles and taking care of the other one when they're sick

Jesse/Lucie/Matthew pairing bc I love them and I refuse to pick between lucie/matthew and lucie/jesse

Christopher teaching Grace the elements(at the time) on the periodic table

Tatiana dies at the end yay

It's very unpolished and I'm open to b hearing any feedback and/or suggestions that anyone may have

The idea came to me and I decided it would be best if I told someone before I forgot

hi, I'm sorry it took so long,but I wanted to properly answer this and I keep having either internet connection issues or little time

DON'T BE SHY, WRITE THIS 👀

In all seriousness tho... THIS IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION?!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START I AM UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA, I NEED IT

Look, I've been on the verge of rewriting ChoI, and I keep saying I want someone to write a TLH that will live up to its potential, but I've never actually came up with a proper idea for it, and you?!! YOUR BRAIN DARLING THIS IS GENIUS

ok hold up I'll just react to each and every single one so

yes please?!? I mean it started off so sweet in EEV?! Also actually genderqueer Anna and not dancing around the subject like CC is doing now?! That's what they deserve, and that's what we all deserve too

yesss please. also just,,,, Barbara, the feminine, not-wanting-to-fight-which-doesnt-make-her-less-badass queen that she is, getting the page space and appreciation she deserves

that's actually brilliant?!? it would be so great, just imagine the new girl arrives for her travel year and Genie is completely awestruck. I'm so invested in Joshwood it's difficult to imagine not having them, but this is actually the only valid alternative?!

ok that's fine. I think it could still happen and be done well, but tbh for now... the gracelet doesn't seem to have done anything relevant to the plot itself? I mean yeah it messed up James's life and Jordelia, but what did it give Belial? Tatiana? nothing. It makes no sense atm.

could be! maybe she's still encouraged by Tatiana to befriend/seduce him, but without the gracelet it doesn't work out? or maybe James somehow manages to realize that she's in danger and he actually like,,,, kidnaps her? idk idk

yes. YES. just,,,,z James is a sweet compassionate literature nerd who accidentally makes a good leader and he actually cares about people, and not just judges them from his high horse; he does still have hero syndrome, but he's kind and respectful and overall a good character

ANNA INTERVENES ABOUT KELLINGTON PLZ. PEOPLE ACTUALLY NOTICE MATTHEW'S STRUGGLES. JAMES DOES, TOO, BECAUSE THERE'S NO GRACELET.

ok yes, so what about: basically TMT don't harass Alastair and accept his apology, and realize they were also being stupid and mean at times at the Academy (especially Math). Matthew doesn't want to accept Alastair's apology, because of The Sin, but his behaviour alerts the rest of TMT and they inquire what's wrong and he tells them about the sin and that's how he later tells his parents (because his friends encourage him) and as you say, she just hugs him and reassures him it's not his fault; so after that Matthew slowly begins to heal and accepts it wasn't Alastair's fault, and also since they've kind of adopted/started including Alastair in things, he can't help but notice he's actually changed and he even starts to grow fond of him

then like you said, Matthew notices Thomas likes Alastair PLEASE HE SO WOULD. I'm not sure about the Sanctuary, if it actually happens (I'll get to why later on), but him and Lucie get really invested in the matchmaking schemes, they include Genie/Kamala because these two are friends with Alastair (both? Or at this point only Kamala?) but they also share some Moments during their scheming/talking about love 👀 (yes I'm a Fairdale shipper, I think it's time to expose myself lol)

Which leads me to (sorry I'm going off order rn) YES YES YES LUCIE AND MATH PLEASE. A FELLOW SHIPPER, HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU. But since we're actually fixing him then we can give Jesse a personality and I'm totally down for poly Math/Lucie/Jesse

Lucie seeking Malcolm's help in secret, morally gray heroine style?!? no, it's probably not legal. but also has there ever been a Shadowhunter like her? If the Law doesn't expect such situations, it can't really forbid them...

Plz Matthew ready to strangle the carrot when he learns about their relationship, YES. sure, maybe he's still not the biggest fan of Alastair, but he's seen how much the boy's been through and starts to develop an attachment to him, and besides, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE GROOMED AND TREATED LIKE THAT. He's SO MAD at Charles, and he confronts him about it - remembering Kellington as he does, and it makes him sick to think his brother would do the same thing to someone. Maybe he gets very emotional over this and later finally tells his friends about Kellington? Maybe they didn't know before, only Anna did? So when they all realize what was happening then they comfort him etc? Or maybe it's just Alastair that learns now, and the others knew before, and they share a bonding moment over that?

Injured Grace seeking Kit's help is a genius idea I didn't know I needed

Kamanna giving each other time and space and deciding they need to question their relationship and figure out if it actually makes sense would be great. Anna realising she's very privileged and Kamala doesn't have those same opportunities, and also in general realising coming out should never be pressured or forced. Just,,,, Anna being self-aware and respectful towards Kamala. Well-written Anna. Plz. Also Kamanna is actually developed and not just "in love" because,,,,, they're attracted to each other? Maybe even remaining friends while Anna makes up their mind?

yeah just TMT being more compassionate and less judgy because they're not written by Judith so her bias isn't projected onto them

It's not a want, it's a need. They adopt Alastair and Grace eventually. Like, maybe not literally - although, Grace? - but you know what I mean.

I think they all should just have various friendship dynamics and switch between them, because people need more than one friend group

no fetishizing, no watching your brother make out with his lover, yessss

yes domestic cuddles, affection, taking care of wounds, all those things. plz.

Gracetopher bonding over science yes

obviously. or maybe she's imprisoned?!

ok, now for some more notes/my ideas etc., if you don't mind:

I actually think Belial could still be featured? After all, I don't think Tatiana could do much on her own, and since she seeks help from demons, it makes sense to include a Greater Demon as well. But Belial would have to be a stronger villain, written better; I'll think more about this

if that was the case, the serial killer plot could still happen, but be done better. and it would allow for a scenario I talked about with @littlx-songbxrd to happen, where it's Alastair who's falsely accused of murder. It creates a great opportunity to explore some things, because we know Alastair is much more likely to be seriously suspected, considering all the prejudices and bad rep his family has and all that

...what do you say to well-written Jordelia? 👀 Cordelia hasn't been obsessively in love with James since childhood, she only had a crush then. And now that they meet again, she's fond of him but not in love, not straight away. They're both grown up, and different people, but as they spend more and more time together, they fall in love. What if Cordelia gets to flirt with some other boys first? What then. What if she ends up choosing James, instead of going for the only boy she's ever had feelings for and idealized since childhood. What if we even make it friends-to-lovers and have James be a little jealous at some point?! but not in a possessive awful way, just "oh damn oh no"

Now I won't know peace until this exists BUT THANK YOU

#ask answered #thank you this is brilliant #alt tlh #save for later #the last hours #tlh #anti cc #yes I'll be adding/thinking more about this I AM OBSESSED

28 notes · View notes

crossovereddie · 4 years

Text

Thoughts on 11x06

I had to come back to type this after the episode. I was gonna wait to post until more people are active but everyone’s safety is more important than notes. This was really hard for me to watch. It took me two hours because I kept needing a break. It’s a tough one yall. It’s heartbreaking and really brought out issues I didn’t know I was still dealing with until I reacted so badly to some stuff. Take care of yourselves and I’m here if you need to talk. I’ll have timestamps for major tws in another post coming right after this. I just gotta go back and get the end of those scenes. I only go the time they started.

Okay. So. There’s some trigger warnings that I’ve reblogged earlier. This recap WILL have thoughts about those triggers. If you think you’ll be triggered just message me or send me an ask and I’ll give you the non triggering recap. Stay safe please.

Kev and v intro. They’re having sex behind the bar

I’m extremely nervous for some reason I might not be able to get through this

Bike heist!!

LICKEY RIGHTS

LIP CALLS HIM MICK

MISSION IMPISSIBLE

Mickey is unimpressed

Lip telling Mickey what to do yes please

Fucking Mickey omg

HE LOOKS SO GOOD

THE WAY HE SAYS BRAD

Again Mickey is unimpressed

Lip :(

MICKEY CONCERNED ABOUT LIPS SOBRIETY

AGAIN I SAY LICKEY RIGHTS

Frank is falling the chick he’s boning Monica

Not sure that’s her real name

Wait yeah it is

Frank??? Has to get to work???

Wait her name isn’t Monica

Oh shut now I get what’s happening

“Can I speak to Pope Francis please” LIAM 😭

Poor baby

Lip cooking breakfast. Hot.

I forgot about camis baby

I actually beep bad for lip and Tami

We already heard this argument with Mickey and Ian get new material writers

PRODIGAL THEIF

PINK BOX HES SO CUTE

HE LOOKS SO CUTE GOTTA SQUEEZE HIM PLS

Yeah don’t tell Carl that traitor

MICKEY BROUGHT DONUTS PLS

HES SO CUTE

ITS TOO MUCH

I LOVE HIM

HIS SMILE!!!!!!!!

GALLAGHER YOUTH

THAT MEANS MICKEY TOO BYE

CARL CALLING HIM MICK TOO PLS

I CANT TAKE IT

Poor Liam he’s terrified

“I was hoping the fucker would just die” :(

Shut up Debbie

Mickey is beautiful

Leave Mickey out of it debbie goddamn

I cant fucking stand her

Frank just observing his kids and smiling

Same frank

SHUT UP DEBBIE

OH MY GOD HIS LAUGH IS THIS WHAT YOU HEAR WHEN YOU FIRST GET TO HEAVEN????

“And the smartest” lol

Someone save Liam

“I want Sandy”

We all do kid

Fucking manipulative little I CANT STAND DEBBIE

Sandy deserves better

I hate the Milkovichs!!!!

How did smart sensitive sweet beautiful loving Mickey come from this disgusting family????

MICKEY IS THE BOSS

My heart hurts so him

“Homo sexy” dear god

Mickey is too good he deserves so much better

I love him so much

Let him be happy

Mickey has the biggest heart

They’re actually talking and not fighting

CHAPO STFU

You’re so funny and smart and beautiful don’t forget that baby

SUGAR TITS

And no one is fazed lmao

“He’s actually my uncle and my dad” I fucking hate this show

I forgot Carl makes legit money now

Wtf kinda school is this

This is so fucked up

The twins are so adorable

SHUT UP DEBBIE

“You guys” I hate that but also she’s acknowledging Mickey as “hers” and he’s family :(

Okay this horrifying comment

I hate that it’s just nonchalant

Debbie just keeps talking.

Let’s move on

Mickeys face when she says “butt naked”lmao

LIP CALLING HIM MICK AGAIN

“Talk to you for a minute?”

“Yes. Please”

I LOVE IT

Mickey is unimpressed by lip once again and I’m smiling

They love each other they’re secretly best friends ITS A FACT

HAND SHAKE SO CUTE

MY BABIES

“Blue like my balls” fucking frank lol

They’re going in on Frank’s storyline now

Boss Mickey at it again

Terry’s home

The way his face falls im sick

SANDY BABY

My heart is racing

Mickeys face is breaking my heart

Great now I’m crying

Mickey got emotional

Ian sensed it and touched his neck all fucking sweet

Okay I had to take a little break because I started crying

I love him too much

Fucking Noel is so damn good

My heart is fucking breaking

“Frank’s not a homophobic psychopath who tortured you for years”

Please Mickey deserves better

I don’t wanna hear any Ian slander either.

In this house we protect my son and my son in law I will fight you

“Let’s get the fuck outta here. Lip you coming?” 😭

That was so hard to watch yall. I’m not gonna lie to you. My parents weren’t half as shitty as terry but growing up feeling unloved your whole life fucks you up anyway and that brought out some emotions and feelings I didn’t realize I still dealt with. I had to pause for a good while and cry.

Leave Sandy alone debbie

Terry is disgusting

Okay the homophobic language he uses is definitely triggering so I’ll time stamp that too

Debbie you selfish bitch

Everyone leaving terry outside it’s a yes from me

I honestly can’t concentrate on the other scenes now I’m sorry y’all

I try to cover everyone’s scenes but it’s hard for me today

I’m not okay

Liam is too innocent poor kid

MICKEY LIP AND IAN THE BEST TRIO

We need more scenes

I PAUSED TO TYPE AND THE FUCKING LOOK HES GIVING HIM STOP

They’re besties

Mickey is beautiful

MY BABY BUSINESS BOSS MAN I LOVE YOU

he really hasn’t called him Philip the entire episode wtf

Ignoring Debbie

Now I want fries

Carl is cringy

Mickey drove them home and pulled a gun

Honestly again another heartbreaking scene

Ian’s trying to make him stop

Terry is disgusting and also a coward but we’ve been knew

Noel is the most amazing

Mickey gets teary but doesn’t cry bc I cried enough for the both of us

He’s the strongest bravest ever and I’m so proud of him

I need a hug

My heart hurts so much y’all

I just want him to be happy

I’m a fucking mess

I can’t handle Lip being emotional too

Oh I thought lip wanted to sell the house for himself only but at least they all get their share

Horrible music choice

I wanna tuck Mickey in with his favorite tv show on(911) make him his favorite food to eat in bed and not let anyone but Ian around him for a good 72 hours

The way Ian is looking at him

“Would you take care of me if I was paralyzed?”

“....yeah. Yeah”

“Top you whenever I wanted” “asshole”

His smile is back that’s all I need in life

MICKEY IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD

RIP DOWN THAT FLAG YES BABY

“That was big of you” “he’s an asshole...I wanna be better than that”

WHEN I TELL YALL I LOST IT I MEAN FULL ON SOBBING

YOURE ALREADY A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN THAT PIECE OF SHIT

YOURE SO KIND AND BRAVE AND BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT

Ian’s like “back of the head? Gotta grab and hold my boy”

“You are so much better than that” IAN MY SWEET SON IN LAW I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR LOVING OUR BOY SO WELL

IAN IS THE MOST SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND

V spitting truth

I want terry to fucking suffer

Don’t do it frank

“Nah” LMAO

Frank loves his son in law

Sandy I love you

I need to hold her

No debbie I LOVE HER

NO SANDY LOVE ME INSTEAD

DEBBIE DOESNT DESERVE YOU

Carl scene was so awful I feel so bad for him this girl is a fucking psycho

That was an actual rape scene what the fuck

Mickey making frank laugh

Debbie explaining? Really?

I hate her

“How long is this gonna take? I’m fucking starving Lip” WHY WONT YOU CALL HIM PHILIP

“We could get on with our lives” well that hurt more than it should’ve

It’s really the end soon huh? 😢

According to captions Ian says “we’re in”

Frank reads his diagnosis

Carl goes to report his rape

That took me nearly two hours to watch. Yeah I usually pause to type but I had to take long breaks after the hard scenes. It was a really hard episode to watch. A lot darker than it has been. I’m not really okay right now. It was emotional but a really good episode overall.

58 notes · View notes

violetnotez · 5 years

Text

HC: Being Handcuffed to the Boys

I only did Midoriya and Bakugo because Im lazy-sry- but I hope you enjoy! :)

|Part 2 w/ Kirishima+Shouto|

(RULES | MASTERLIST| REQUESTS OPEN!!! :))

Midoriya

Midoriya, as sweet and intelligent as he is, was NOT that smart that day

He was studying hero terminology, laws and rules to help him be a better hero, until a thought popped in his head- what if he needed to know how to use handcuffs? Like in some random situation where he needed to detain someone and the only thing he could was use handcuffs, could he do it?

Of course he could but he over thought it and convinced himself he COULDNT and began to slightly freak out

So of course he called you, but he didnt give you ANY info to go off of why he needed you so badly and it kind confused and worried you

“Y/n- I need you to come over quickly”

“Why, is something wrong or-”

“No, no, nothings wrong! Just- come over soon-please?”

“Im coming, Im coming, dont worry….”

When you finally got to his dorm room, you expected him to have some super important news to tell you- like he was hurt, or there was a huge pop quiz you two needed to study for ASAP...but you were met with blushing Midoriy holding hndcuffs

KiNkY

You just stared at him and at the handcuffs with a huge WTH face

You dont have the slighest idea of were he had HANDCUFFS

“Umm care to explain why you have handcuffs?”

He explains it to you, and you wanna laugh at how adorably overreactive your boyfriend is but you dont because you wnt him to know you take his concerns seriously

So he tells you his plan- he was going to put one side of the handcuffs on you as if your were a villian, and one on him (the smart thing to do, he said, so if they couldnt escape because theyd be attached to him), and then take them off. Easy peasy!

NOT EASY PEASY

He put his side of the hand cuff with ease, but when it came to you it took FOREVER

He was so scared to hurt you (like pinch your skin or something) it took him 3 whole minutes to crank it closed

“Midoriya, why are you taking so long?”

“Well-I dont want to hurt you!” he blushed, sweating alittle as he tried his best to not potentially hurt you

“Your not going to hurt me- besides, I thought I was supposed to be a ‘villian’?”

“But- your not a villian- your my girlfriend! And I cant hurt my girlfriend!” he would protest as you laughed at his cuteness

Once it was finally on, Izuku felt way more relaxed- he did it,he could do it, and he wouldnt have to worry about some wierd freak scenario where he couldnt use handcuffs

So, naturally, you ask is he could unlock you guys since he was content with his work

“Yeah of course!” hed say with a sigh of relief until he’ll realize- he forgot where the key was

He’ll start sweating alot and you’ll get super concern

“Izuku, are you all right?”

“Umm….”he confess timidly, “I may or may not have…. Forgotten where the key is.”

Not gonna lie, youre gonna freak out a little

Your literally HAND CUFFED to your boyfriend

He spends 30 minutes in a rampage looking for it (yanking and dragging you around his room in the process)

“I know its here, I just had it, Ill find it I promise-”

Your wrists was turning red from the constant yanking and you had to finally just tell him to stop and figure out another way out of them

You two sit on his bed and thought for a moment- Midoriya’s first thought was Iida and Ochaco, since their his best freinds

But you didnt know for sure what they would do but ask awkward questions and freak out a little like you both did

You then thought of Mina with her acid quirk, but then thought better of it- she didnt have the best control over it and you didnt feel like having your skin melted off

And she was besties with Kaminari and Sero, the biggest pervs at UA, so if they even caught a glance at you two theyd take it the wrong way and you two wouldnt hear the end of it

You giys pondered on what to do next until Midoriya finally got an idea

“What if we go to Hatsume? She has so many gadgets she must have a way to unlock us”

You groaned- you were okay with Hatsume, her perosnality was a little- loud- which was fine, its just you could totally tell she had the hots for Deku and you didnt really appreciate that side of her...but she was your best bet….

“Fine, lets go”

The walk to the her workshop was tortorius- you two both wrapped yourselves up in your biggest jackets to hide the handcuffs so no one could see (even though it was the middle of the afternoon) and holding each others hand so it looked like you were just holding hands and nothing more

It was nerve wracking- you didnt want any of opur classmates to talk to you, let alone see you until you had those CUFFS OFF

When you finally get there, you were so grateful Hatsume was by herself

And as perky as ever

Izuku tells about your guys predicament timidly as you both have huge blushes

But Hatsume doesnt seem to care about your embarrasment or how you got into that situation at all- shes just excited to try out a “new baby”

She interjects Izuku with a loud outburst and begins to whip out a bunch of crazy looking gadgets

You look at Midoriya with a skeptical look but you allow her to get close and try to relese you guys

Surprisingly, after a few minutes you were free, and the sound of cold metal hit the tiles

You both rubbed your wrists happy to be out of those restraints

You start to laugh from relief, thanking Hatsume and turning to Midoriya with a stern grin

“Im not going to ask today….but one day I will figure out how you got those handcuffs”

*small gulp from Izuku

Bakugo

Some days you wonder if your friends WANT to die

You and Bakugo had had a thing for each other for weeks

It was painfully obvious- you would be a blushing mess with Bakugo, giving him the biggest comebacks whenever he was mean to you all the while so red you looked liked you would explode

Bakugo was such a rude dirtbag to you most of the girls wondered how you restrained yourself from slapping him, calling you mean names and criticizing you for the smallest things

But if anybody hurt you or even said you were cute or pretty

OH NO

He would become so angry and possessive it was terrifying

So, since all of Class 1A was sick of hearing you deny any sort of love towards Bakugo and sick of almost getting their hair fried off by Bakugo if they even mentioned your name, they decided to take matters into their own hands

One day, Mina had called you over, leading you over to Kirishima and Bakugou

Your heart already began to quickly start beating just being near him

Bakugo huffed, hating how just seeing that annoyingly pretty face of yours put his body into overdrive

“Whyd you bring this extra over?”

You rolled your eyes with your cheeks on fire, pretending like the comment didn't hurt as Mina gasped at his blatant rudeness

“Whatever, Bakugo, your just still bitter that I beat you in training last week-”

“Howd you beat me?! I was distracted for 2 seconds, that was no win-”

“Really?! So eating the dirt because I had KO-ed your cocky ass doesn't mean-”

“It means jack shit baka!”

Unknowing to the both of you as you bickered, Kaminari was sneaking behind you two with a pair of handcuffs while Sero followed him with an evil grin from behind

Before you two even knew it, Kaminari had clasped one side of a pair of hand cuffs to one of your wrists and one to Bakugos, Sero using his tape quirk to keep you two from squirming

You were confused and startled on what was even going on, while Bakugo was extremely pissed off

“What the hell do you think youre doing you idiots!”

“Cool down Spiky, or youll blow a fuse!” Sero laughed at his handiwork as you both squirmed to get out on the restraints

“Im gonna do worse than blow a fuse,” Bakugo spat at the whole grorup, “Im gonna blow up your asses into space once I get out of this!”

“Ohhh no your not!” Kirishima smirked at Bakugo”s clearly agitated face and your distressed expression “You two are going to stay like this until you can act like normal human beings around each other”

“Kirishima this isnt cool!” you whined, “How long am I going to have to be attached to this rabid hedgehog?!” You nodded towards Bakugo, who clearly didn't like your comment

“Rabid hedgehog?!” Bakugo shrieked, “Say that one more time and Ill-”

“And youll blast me into space? Fry me into Hell? Kick my ass into next week? Save your breath Katsuki, Ive heard every threat you can throw at me!” You snapped at Bakugou, your annoyance and stress of being stuck to him for God’s no how long making you jumpy-you cant be stuck to your crush YOU CANT

Bakugo looked like a fish gulping for a water as he was looking for a come back to that, as Kirishima, Sero, and Kaminari looked shocked and amused by a stuttering Bakugo

“You guys are gonna stay together for as long as you need to,” Kirishima said, “we have the key to unlock the cuffs, so when you guys are ready- just come and get one of us!”

The group walked out, Sero and Kaminari betting how long it would take you two to have an agreement as Kirishima pushed them out the door

You stood there with Bakugou awkwardly for a few moments, him unable to look at you-his cheeks were on fire because of one little thing you said earlier

And you didnt even know GOD DAMMIT

You looked at Bakugou, thinking he was just ignoring you like usual- the BrAt

You sighed, “Look- if were going to be chained up like this, might as well get some things off our chests….” you swallowed hoping he couldnt feel your hand shake from being so close to him

He didnt say anything, your voice ringing in his ears and making me him shiver- GOD DAMMIT WHY WAS HE SO DAMN WEAK FOR YOU

He didnt say anything for a while, making you feel hurt and kinda bored

“Fine then, if you dont want to talk, at least walk with me to the kitchen-”

“You called me Katsuki.” He grumbled, still not wanting to look at you

“What?” You looked at him, confused on WHY he wouldnt look at you and why calling him by his first name was such a big deal

“You called me by my first name-Katsuki.”

“Okkkkaaaay,” you drawled out, completely confused and annoyed, “dont know why that would bother you so much but can we plese just-”

Bakugo huffed in annoyance, his cheecks on fire, “You dont get it do you baka?! No one calls me Katsuki because Id kick their asses if they ever did-but-”

“But what?” you asked kinda gentle, seeing Bakugo struggling to say something to you and curiosity was getting to you

Is He GoNnA ConfeSS ;o

“But-you-said….it...and I-I-was...okay with it….” he struggled out, his face contorting so much to just push that out of him you were kinda worried

You looked at him, completely amused and not really taking him seriously

“That was it? I said your first name and you didnt have the urge to rip my head off like you usually do? I guess we can consider that progress!” you kinda laughed nervously, making Bakugo wish you would laugh again and then cursing at himself for thinking that

He hated how you made his head feel dizzy and it was making him angry

“You dont get it do you baka?!” he shouted aggresively, “I was okay with it because I like you and I fucking hate it!”

You stopped breathing, your eyes wide with shock and your brain seeming to shut down

“You-you-like- me? Like- more than a- friend?” you stuttered, looking at his face which was now obviously red

“See anyone else in the room? Of course its you who else would I fucking say that to!” he retorted, wishing the heat in his face would BACK OFF

OH CRAPPPPPPPPPPPP HE CONFESSED YALL :D

“I like you too….Katsuki,” you smiled, watching his face get even redder

“Awww you look so cute blushing!”

“Shut up you baka!”

You laughed, making him feel all warm and squishy inside

“Well, I guess Kaminari is going to owe Sero $20- we deifnitely got this figured out in under an hour.”

-----------------------------------

I hope your day (or night) is going well!

REQUESTS + MATCHUPS ARE OPEN!

882 notes · View notes

hey-hamlet · 5 years

Text

BNHA AU Ideas : Darker Stains

Also on AO3

TL;DR:

Being a villain might run in Izuku's family, but that doesn't mean he needs to be the same type of villain as his dad. After all, the world doesn't need another All for One.

But I could do with another Stain.

AKA: Izuku, stubbornly follows Stain around until the guy warms up to him, all while he slowly poisons his gen ed class against the concept of heroes. Iida is stuck in the middle of all of this and finding himself begrudgingly agreeing with the kid who seems too sweet to be a villain.

Basically, deku is stain's apprentice

Ok less apprentice, more like "kid he cant get rid of"

izuku has afo and is sensei's kid and its kinda been his mission to get stain onside, but he just kinda started staning stain

so he said "love u dad but can i just like, follow this guy" and his dad said "you know what, its good to broaden your villainous horizons" So he makes a deal w stain: the heroes don't have to die, but izuku will take their quirks from them

in this AU izuku can "borrow" a quirk pretty quickly but needs a solid minute of contact to fully take it

izuku goes to ua, hes a gen. ed. student! he's there to get connections/blackmail but he only shows up around 3 days a week because of "family matters" but he’s holding great grades so they haven’t pushed too hard about his attendance. the only quirk izuku is listed as having is minor telekinesis, its all he uses in school but he gets pretty far in the sports festival, all the way to the tournament but has to forfeit his match because he needs to do something

(it was against bakugo. he honestly could have fought it but bakugo would be way angrier not being allowed to fight him so he left a little early)

so bakugo has always been kinda,,, scared of izuku. he lives w his dad, his mum lives in europe or something, bakugo isn't sure (afo told her it'd be safer for her to leave the country because all might vs him would be dangerous. She agreed but asked that he A, look after izuku and B, she be allowed to give her quirk to him as a gift to keep him safe. its izukus favorite quirk) and izuku has always let off a creepy aura. he had a "weak" quirk but did a lot of unexplained things, was too smart etc and his dad was creepy as all hell

bakugo would never admit it, but he was kinda glad he didnt have to fight izuku

Iida doesn’t get the call from his mum until later so he gets his medal and everything.

turns out? tensei was stopped by the hero killers, they don't "kill" people but they do kill heroes, tensei fought, lost and lost his quirk

so everything happens as in canon up till hosu (mirio has ofa) so izuku knows iida a little, was on his team with todoroki (replaced kami, his quirk was great for grabbing headbands). He actually picked iida's team because he wanted to know more about him before they took on ingenium

he wasnt 100% onboard with the removal of ingenium because he wasn't all that bad but he wasn't perfect for stains ideology because he was pretty profit-focused, had no other heroes on team but loads of sidekicks who make lower rates than heroes and give his agency a funding boost and was from a Hero Family so it wasn't super likely he wanted to be a hero just to save people

but he was a nice guy and put his life on the line for people so izuku thought he was pretty ok but stain was sticking to his guns and izuku didn't want the guy dead,,, so he said sure. so, izuku kinda,,, knows iida is going to come after stain. he saw all the people who put in internship forms, he saw where iida put down and put 2 and 2 together. but, thing is? he really likes iida! every time he's met iida the guy has been super nice to him, if a little uptight. during the cavalry battle he even took a hit for izuku he didn’t need to and izuku liked that so he’s trying to steer stain away from where he knows iida is probably going to end up because fuck endeavour and he's in Hosu

(plus izuku wants that sweet sweet fire quirk because he's not allowed to take dabi's)

also: relevant but only just, izuku has a really cutesy villain costume and isn't linked to the hero killer (like, think bunny poncho)

so izuku is wandering around, trying to work out how to lure endeavour into a dark alley and not having much luck because the nomu are L o u d and he ends up getting pushed to the ground and trampled in a person stampede

which he's a little salty about! but, iida, a knight in shining armour, stops his search for the hero killer to help izuku up and ask if hes ok and izuku blushes despite himself because even tho hes trying to steal the number 2 heroes quirk hes a big fan of heroes and iida? pushing all the heroic buttons

so yada yada, stain ends up taking native because endeavour wasnt leaving the crowds and izuku goes over to take the quirk for him and iida shows up

He steps between izuku and stain (assuming stain ment to hurt izuku) and says hes going to get revenge for his brother

and stain just fucking,,, sighs because he can see izuku's blush from here and the kid is all starry eyed over baby ingenium but like, the kid is vengeance-y and that’s not great for a hero, so he thinks the least he can do is rough him up a bit to teach him what a hero should be doing, because he’s trying to make a point more than anything he doesn’t use his quirk yet and tries to explain his point to iida

izuku is sitting off to the side with native and just watching this go down (he,,, may also be stealing native's quirk,, because fuck that guy but thats not the point)

anyway, iida is losing, and pretty badly too because the kid is angry and alone. izuku has finished taking native's quirk, who still hasn’t realized because hes stupid so he hauls iida over his shoulder from where hes a little concussed on the ground and runs off with him, leaving stain to sigh because what has his life come to

izuku talks to iida about stains ideas while patching him up, admitting that he thinks iida's brother was actually a pretty good hero and that stains a little strict. iida cant help but understand stains way of thinking, even though hes mad at himself about it. he tries to ask izuku what he was doing but he just gets shushed

izuku kinda dumps iida on todoroki and runs

(todoroki swears there was something familiar about the rabbit costumed kid)

so, izuku like comes up to iida during school, says he heard ab. stain and that it was really impressive that he did all that yadda yadda, and then leaves, 20 minutes later todoroki sees iida trying to flex his arms and grimacing. iida admits his arms are a little sore but its nbd

during hero training iida collapses a little and ochako runs over, hes trying not to scream because his arms hurt so bad.

he heads to recovery girl and hes? ok? but now also got engines where his brother did? and todoroki and ochako are so lost. todoroki turns to iida and says "i know this is off topic, but didnt your involvement with stain get suppressed from the media?" and iida freezes

iida trying to find this gen ed student but he doesnt really remember izukus name. hes just "green boy w minor telekinesis who knew too much"

i want izuku ducking behind his bestie shinso to hide from the big bad hero student. shinso is ready to throw down for izuku honestly. izuku confided in shinso ab. his villainous quirk and shinso is honestly shaping up to be his righthand man. together they'll show the world what heroes should really be, by tearing the system to shreds

iida is trying to find "green boy". short skinny green boy who hides behind his tall angry friend and is only on campus like, half the week.

needless to say iida is having some trouble

so iida, honestly losing faith in heroics (in this au, todoroki told iida about the quirk marriage) goes looking for stain

iida: “where is izuku”

everyone in gen ed: 💪🏽👁👄👁👊🏽

iida, now in tears: “what are you say i ng”

basically in this au izuku has managed to poison the gen ed. kids against heroics. some of them cant stand their teachers anymore, none of them want to transfer, they fake gag when they see the heroics students and some of them have even dropped out but no one suspects izuku because the kid loves heroes!!!

mic is his homeroom teacher

ooooOOOH TRAITOR MIC TOO

so mic is also the traitor

but hes like,, stupidly in love with aizawa and izuku kinda loves eraserhead so izuku makes his dad promise to not hurt 1a/aizawa so in this au? aizawa doesn't get smashed by the nomu. aizawa was trapped by stains quirk so the guy has tr a u m a but he's not in pain. afo is honestly trying to kill allmight but izuku likes all might so they fight about it but like, a soft fight? and it's disturbing even shigiraki because you should not be lightly bickering over the life of a man

shigaraki s in the corner tears in his eyes because izuku just gave afo permission to “lightly maim him” like goddamn kid what’s wrong with u

stain runs into iida and he's like "god please i dont wanna fight you again the boss' kid will cry" and iida is like ",,, so tell me about izuku" and stain fucking glares at him w such intensity iida is both 1, sure he's correct 2, scared for his life

so stain calls kurogiri and throws iida into the bar and izuku jumps like, 6 feet in the air like a cat and is clinging to the roof but he calms the fuck down and iida is so shook that the only thing he can think to say is ",,, we are too young to be in a bar"

and izuku busts a gut and hes like, crying laughing "you're right we are way too young, why don't we go to another room?" dabi wolf whistles, then has to dodge izuku's now flying milkshake iida n izuku just chat! n iida is a little creeped? because izuku is charismatic and charming and iida agrees with him 100% but he shouldn’t be? he should be nervous or angry or at least a little confused but hes just so charming and bubbly its a little odd. honestly, all the stuff izuku pointed out? iida starts to see how bakugo can get away with acting like an ass but shinso can’t even look at someone wrong without getting set upon

iida is making massive leaps in his training because his quirk has doubled in strength! but, it feels like hes stolen something from his brother

but thats not possible, right? you cant give and take quirks.

of course not

...

right?

iida starts wondering what midoriya's quirk really is, exactly. he never named it. just said "i can use telekinesis on light stuff" but, he hung around villains and seemed to be respected by them, without any visible training, weapons or strength

and shinso, when prompted, said he empathised with midoriya, which iida thought was an odd word choice?

anyway, iida doesnt feel great during hero training. all might's villain costume feels almost offensive? and the profiling aizawa has them do feels wrong, like making assumptions based off the quirk, not the person. it just feels gross and wrong and he's starting to feel really conflicted. because stain hurt people. izuku hurt people.

but he agrees with them

#bnha au #darker stains au #Iida Tenya #tenya #midoriya izuku #izuku #stain #midoriya #iida #villain deku

222 notes · View notes

set-phasers-to-whump · 4 years

Text

first you get hurt, then you feel sorry

ok so i dont get how max evans aka mr. guilt could have learned that Important Info from sheriff valenti and then like.....not talked about it or anything?? so heres me fixing it, i think this is going to be like multiple parts which ive never really done so,,,,,we will see anyway @deepwoundsandfadedscars thank u for being patient with me lol, hope this is ok!! the title is from first by cold war kids (this is set idk like somewhere in a free moment between like 2x09 and 2x12)

Isobel leans into the familiar warmth of her brother’s side. It’s been a wild couple days, and she thinks she’s probably lucky to get any break from it at all. They’re in the park, and it’s nearly sundown, so it’s virtually empty, apart from the two of them sitting quietly on a bench.

Isobel breaks the comfortable silence between them-she can’t help it, she just has to know the details of Max’s arrest, so she says, “how was prison?” nudging Max with her shoulder and grinning. “Get any tattoos? Join a gang?”

Max sighs, dragging a hand down his face. Isobel turns to her brother and really looks at him-he’s been a little off recently, and there’s a look in his eyes that she knows, and hates, and hates that she knows. Guilt. She frowns and waits for him to speak.

But Max just stares at his feet, saying nothing. Naturally, Isobel presses. “Seriously, Max. I mean, Michael’s got his fair share of drunk-tank stories, but I wanna hear from you. I am the only one of us who’s never been arrested now.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it, okay?” Max snaps. Isobel leans away a little, holding up her hands. “Okay, sorry,” she replies, only growing more curious about Max’s brief stint behind bars.

He sighs again, closing his eyes. “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“

“It’s fine Max, I’m not gonna rip it out of you or anything. I just thought maybe you’d want to talk about it.”

Max makes a hmming sound, leaning his head onto Isobel’s shoulder. After a few minutes of slightly charged silence, he speaks.

“Before she officially arrested me, Sheriff Valenti...said some things. I didn’t believe her, I didn’t want to believe her...but...I think she’s right. About me.”

Isobel doesn’t press this time, no matter how badly she wants to, as Max takes a breath and runs a lightly shaking hand through his hair. She grabs the hand, runs her fingers across it soothingly, and waits for him to continue.

“She told me, the day our parents came to the home, that it...it wasn’t Michael who was screaming and drawing the symbol on the walls. It was me.”

“But Michael-“

“Took the crayon from me, and then our parents came into the room, and saw him, and I guess they assumed it was his drawing on the wall. But it was me, Isobel. Me. I’m the reason Michael was left behind. It should have been me. He’s-it’s my fault.”

Isobel takes a second to process-she doesn't want to think about why this makes sense, not now. So she focuses on the things she knows: that they had been seven years old, strangers to everything in the world except each other, unable to speak, unable to truly understand. She can’t help but wonder, for a second, why her and Max’s parents hadn’t...what, taken the time to consider that Michael having the crayon in his hand didn’t necessarily mean that he’d been the one to deface the walls? But it’s not like she remembers that day-none of them do, so it’s not like she can say what went through the Evanses minds. Not like it matters now, anyway.

“We were seven and didn’t know how to communicate with them, Max. There wasn’t a lot you could have done. I mean, you don’t even remember this happening.”

Max shakes his head, sniffs. “It doesn’t matter. Once we could speak, I should have done something. Told them they should’ve taken Michael instead, confessed, I don’t know.”

“Max, you don’t remember that day. You couldn’t have confessed, even if you’d wanted to.”

“Maybe. But...Michael went through hell, while you and I led perfect little lives. We had each other, we had a family. Michael had no one.”

“Michael had us,” Isobel points out. “We have always been a family, Max, even if we were separated.”

Max stands up. “No, we weren’t!” he snaps. “Michael was alone. Because of me!”

Isobel stands, too, placing a hand on her brother’s arm. “No amount of blaming yourself for the past is going to change it. And yeah, okay, maybe you were the ‘troubled child,’ and not Michael. That doesn’t make it your fault that he...that he was left behind.”

Max smiles, that sad, angry smile of his, and sucks in a breath. “Isn’t it my fault, though? Our whole lives, I’ve tried to protect the two of you. But now-I’m the one that put Michael in danger in the first place. He could’ve grown up happy, loved, with a real family and a house and...and a twin sister, and I stole that from him before we could talk!”

He collapses back onto the bench, burying his face in his hands, like that will stop Isobel from noticing the light trembling in his shoulders and his hands, or the way he’s taking these small breaths like he’s afraid, suddenly, to make any noise.

She sits next to him again, turns to face him, and gently places her hands over his, pulling them away from his face and into her lap. She continues holding on as she speaks, thinking carefully about what she needs to say.

“Maybe,” she starts, “maybe that’s true. Maybe Michael and I could have been the Evans twins. Maybe he would have grown up in a better situation. Maybe. Or maybe, all three of us would have been split up. Maybe Michael and you would have been left to the system. You can’t change the past, Max, and you can’t know what would have happened if you could.”

She pauses, takes a breath, wipes away a tear of her own. “I know it hurts, to realize that there are things in your past which have hurt other people, but you have to accept those things as part of you. You were an abandoned, angry kid, and you screamed and you drew on the walls, and Michael took the blame for it. You can’t change that. But you can talk to Michael, or our parents. Just...figure out how you can accept this, and forgive yourself for it.”

Max pulls his hands out of Isobel’s, scrubs the tears from his face. “Okay,” he says finally, quietly. “I’ll talk to Michael, maybe Mom and Dad.” He manages a small smile, and leans forward to hug his sister. Isobel quickly wraps her arms around him, resting a hand softly in his hair. “I know you will,” she says. “You’ll work this out, Max.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, sounding like he maybe half believes it. Isobel smiles a little, pulling Max closer, letting his head rest on her shoulder. She’ll take that half-belief. It's a start, at least.

i hope this was ok!! if it sucks lmk and i wont write more parts but idk im kinda liking this?? hope the finale doesnt like. screw things up too badly lol

#roswell new mexico #max evans #emotional whump #my writing #i say things #this is barely whumpy at all but whatever!! too bad #kee i hope this is ok!! i can rewrite it if it suxxxx #i dont think i like my title but whatever #max has been hurt and now he feels bad for what hes learnt so. it fits

17 notes · View notes

stereoskopiandaydream · 5 years

Text

catradora thing

(After a battle where catra used a modified version of the infection disk that she could remotely turn on and off)

(Yes there’s a lot that kinda gets glossed over sorry)

——

“You know, i realized this is never going to end. I realized it that time i corrupted you, Ms. She-Ra. That was when I realized just how strong and how indomitable She-Ra really is. You have so much power, and yet, you only use just enough to fend me off. You never swing fast enough that I can’t dodge or jump back. You never hit me hard enough to knock me out. You never actually try, you’ve just been pulling your punches this whole time. Almost reminds me of training back in the fright zone.”

“Why are you telling me this? Why did you deactivate the infection if you don’t want me pulling my punches? I don’t-“

“Oh Adora, big, dumb, heart-of-gold Adora. I did this so maybe? Just maybe? We can actually get somewhere. I know that while you’ve got me in your hands, i can’t go anywhere unless you let me go, and I know you won’t go anywhere while you have the slightest chance of bringing me back with you.”

“What’s to stop me from just taking you with me right now?”

“The fact that without you, your allies? The princesses? They aren’t competent enough to beat the horde. They aren’t ruthless enough, they haven’t suffered enough. And i brought my angriest, hungriest soldiers today. Orders are to capture if possible, kill if necessary.”

“But I could just have them surrender by holding you up by the scruff of your neck and waving you around.”

“They don’t care about me. I gave them the orders long ago that should I be captured or killed in combat, they were to simply kill anything that wasn’t horde on sight. And you can hear that the sounds of battle have stopped for a while now. If your princesses had won, that have come running to you by now. My men won’t try to find me. Waste of time and resources.”

“You’re not a waste of time and resources!”

“Well you left so i must be! Actions speak louder than words Adora.”

“I wanted you to come with me! I gave you so many chances, and... hell, even now, if you decided to come with me right now - i mean you said it yourself the horde wouldn’t even look for you! There’d be no one to get you in trouble, none of shadow weaver’s bullshit, none of Hordak’s bullshit, just you and me, in the alliance. Honestly, I don’t even know why you stay in the Horde.”

Catra let out a sigh.

“Do you want to know why?”

“Yes! Of course!”

“Because... because i might have joined you in the rebellion. When you first left, if you’d just let me go with you that night. I’ve thought about it a lot. But no. You said, cover for me catra, and like a dumb little fucking idiot, i tried to, even though shadow weaver knew you were gone. I still lied to her, and i still got in even more trouble and as time went on I was wondering where you were. Worried you’d been captured by princesses, or worse. And you never tried to get back to me. You never tried for me, you just wanted me to try for you, you wanted me to give up for you. I’m done trying for you, Adora. I mean, I wanted you back so badly i nearly got killed by Hordak for it.”

“Yeah but if you come back with me, nobody’s going to hurt you, and even if they did try, I wouldn’t let them.”

“Ha! That’s such bullshit, Adora! You would only be willing to fight the princess alliance for me if they tried to hurt me? Then please, tell me, what have you been waiting for? Every time we fight, that talking purple glitterbomb tries to kill me, and so does her robinhood sidekick, and that hippy chick and everybody else too.”

“Yeah but-”

“Yeah but what? Yeah but what, Adora? Come on, for crying out loud, get real! You’re so used to having things your way that the thought of anyone else getting their way, especially me getting mine? It pisses you off. You just want everything to be easy, just handed to you on a silver platter, and-“

“Yes I do want it to be easy! I don’t wanna fight you anymore, i never even wanted to fight you in the first place! I thought you’d be happy to leave the horde, and yeah, maybe i did get special treatment from shadow weaver-“

“Maybe?”

“Okay, yes, she gave me special treatment, but it wasn’t all fun and games just cuz she liked me, it was constant pressure, just, this expectation to be perfect and anytime I failed it was... it was horrible”

“Well all i ever did was fail even when i didn’t. Even when I got the same grade as you or the same time on a training sim, it didn’t matter and not just because you were there and somehow infinitely better in every way just because you were Adora, but there was always something wrong with my work. There was always something wrong with me. And she made sure to tell me. That was pretty fucking horrible too. But i guess the worst part wasn’t where shadow weaver was an evil fucking asshole to me, it was the part where you just sat there quietly and let her, or godsdammit, those times when you agreed with her? Are you kidding me? “You were being disrespectful” yeah, so? When has she ever treated me with enough respect to deserve any back? Huh?”

“Well, you never tried to help me either! I nearly broke under the pressure!”

“I nearly broke under the pressure too!”

“You just said- you just- i mean you didn’t have that pressure because no matter what you did shadow weaver never thought it was good enough”

“Is that... are you... like - ugh. Did you really think i didn’t have any expectations for myself? I knew i was at least as good as you, and you did too, the one time you vouched for me. Plus, that’s kind of a shitty thing to say, isn’t it?

“Oh you were a failure in her eyes so why would you feel any pressure to succeed?” Really Adora? Really?”

“I-“

“Just shut up.”

“Hey!”

“Hey what?!” Catra snapped.

“That’s rude!” Adora blurted out.

They both sat there for an incredulous moment before the two of them burst out into laughter.

“That’s - that’s rude???”

“I know, i know thats one of the dumbest things ive ever said”

“We’re screaming our hearts out on a battlefield where people have been killed and you think being told to shut up is rude?”

“No. Not really. It was more the part where you cut me off.”

“Not like i was interrupting anything important.”

“Actually... yeah, you did.”

Catra looked at She-Ra.

“I was... i was going to say sorry.”

“Why would that matter to me?”

“Because I am.”

“Sounds like-“

“Bullshit, I know.”

“Hey, that’s rude.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“I’m sorry. I-“

“I said-“

“No, shut up and let me say this. I mean it,” Adora’s voice softened a little, still tough, but gentler. “I’m sorry for leaving you behind. I see it now. That’s my fault. It was dumb going alone anyway, but what was dumber was leaving you behind in that hellhole with shadow weaver. I just. I guess I thought that just because you’re strong enough to handle whatever shadow weaver threw your way that it was okay to leave you. But now I know - and yes, i know it’s too late - but now I know that just because you’d be okay didn’t make it okay. And I’m sorry for trying to put this all on you. It’s not your fault. Like you said, I left, and I didn’t come back. I’m just,” she grimaced mid sentence, “im just kicking myself, thinking about what i did, how I went about things. You should have been the first thing on my mind. You should have been the only thing on my mind, and i don’t know. I guess I let myself get all caught up in... in trying to live up to all these new expectations all of sudden that i forgot about what was truly important.”

“If it was truly important, then you wouldn’t have forgotten about it.”

“Catra!”

“What, am i being rude again?”

“Actually? Yeah. I’m trying to say sorry for what I’ve done, and you’re just... you’re just throwing it out the window like it means nothing to you!”

“And? It doesn’t mean anything to me Adora. Anyone can say sorry. Anyone can admit what they’ve done wrong. But only the people who really are sorry for what they’ve done will actually go out of their way to fix it. Only people who are really, truly sorry, who actually want to make things right? They’re the only one who actually try. And you’re not trying.”

“I am trying!”

“Doesn’t look like it to me. Actually it looks like you’re crying to me. Poow wittew baby adowa, cwies whenevew she doesnt get hew own way, wah wah wah, get over it. You never really cared about me. I was just some charity case for you to make yourself feel good. Stop crying and let me go.”

“Fine. I’ll let you go.”

She-ra picked Catra up, and threw her by the collar into the air.

Catra landed on her feet, gave She-Ra one last glare, and disappeared into the smoke.

“Godsdammit.”

She-ra fell to her knees and hit the ground a small little blonde teen in a Horde uniform again.

“Godsdammit.”

4 notes · View notes

shinythingsorpaperrings · 6 years

Text

things about my playlist (super long cause i included lyrics whos surprised)

Right Here, Right Now Right here, Right now I'm looking at you and My Heart love the view Cause you mean everything im always a sucker for a good hsm song but this moment in the movie just really strongly resonates with me, the desire to make the moment last even though everything is speeding around them

Today Was A Fairytale But can you feel this magic in the air? It must have been the way you kissed me Fell in love when I saw you standing there every day just feels like floating like it really is magic honestly

Hung Up I'm not usually the type of guy to call twice And leave a message every time i think ive only left multiple voicemails for my mum like once

Thunder I don't wanna ever love another You'll always be my thunder So bring on the rain something bout boys like girls just always resonates about us but especially this. i used to play it every day when i spent that summer away

Check Yes Juliet Run, baby, run Don't ever look back They'll tear us apart If you give them the chance we all know how shit romeo and juliet when badly idealised but something about this just made me feel really strongly that it was ok cause of all the issues w my folks but i could run from that and itd still be ok

Two Is Better Than One Cause everything you do and words you say You know that it all takes my breath away this song just brings me back to that first night up against the wall honestly

Mine You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter You are the best thing, that's ever been mine another one of those played everyday, not even just the summer, but literally everyday for a long while. this part was the part that clicked most, that you brought me out of my shell

Love Story And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet" But you were everything to me, I was begging you, please, don't go swift is kind of a running theme for my sweet summer tunes, but parts of this song reminded me of what my folks would be like, and the constant (poor) secret-keeping and the constant want to be free to be us

Marry You Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you i think its kinda self explanatory

Can I Have This Dance Take my hand, I'll take the lead And every turn will be safe with me Don't be afraid, afraid to fall You know I'll catch you through it all this will never stop being the cheesy fall back memory i have, its another soft moment but i love it so

2002 Now we're under the covers Fast forward to eighteen We are more than lovers Yeah, we are all we need When we're holding each other this song just invokes a lot of early memories, of the way we would belt every song out that would come on, the way that wed fix a playlist like no one else was there

Everything I Ask For Oh she makes me feel like shit (it's always something) But I can't get over it (she thinks it's nothing) 'Cause she's everything I ask for gotta agree with john, wearin red when youre feelin hot. its a good colour for you, yknow

Alone Together I don't know where I'm going But I don't think I'm coming home and I said I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead This is the road to ruin And we're starting at the end we started a mess, we ended a mess, were still a mess, and anything we do going forwards is a mess, but its ok

Still Into You I should be over all the butterflies but I'm into you, I'm into you And even baby our worst nights I'm into you, I'm into you Let 'em wonder how we got this far, 'Cause I don't really need to wonder at all Yeah after all this time I'm still into you i remember when my dad sent me the video to this song just because of what was on haleys tshirt. i didnt think it would come to stick with me for so long and mean so much

Runaway (U & I) I wanna run away Anywhere out this place I wanna run away Just U and I wouldnt be my playlist if i didnt throw electronic into it. a general running (lmao) theme though isnt it? to want to run away, to find somewhere new to start

Ours Seems like there's always Someone who disapproves, They'll judge it like they know about me and you, And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do, The jury's out, And my choice is you another summer jam. no matter what, this is ours. no one can take that away, nobody but us can change it. it will always be ours

Song 2 You I'll give you my song These words to you Sing you what I feel My soul is true. a little victorious doesnt hurt. its a soft song, mostly about a materialistic girl, but the feeling behind it resonates with me. i love how soft it is, i love the meaning behind it. but most of all i love that its still music thats being used to connect people

Stupid For You You're a symphony, I'm just a sour note I'll take what I can get The best is hard to grip when everybody wants you And everybody wants you basically about feeling just a little not good enough, but still chasin and makin it work. id say im pretty stupid for you though

Right Girl I've never been the best with my mouth Try to stay smart but the dumb comes out Maybe I'm shy, I drive an old car Maybe I'm amazed that I got this far you are the best thing to ever happen and i let my dumbass brain panic itself into doing the wrong thing to the right girl

Rock Bottom That you hate me now and I feel the same way You love me now and I feel the same way We scream and we shout And make up the same day everything culminated to this, to being rock bottom and tossing and turning and trying and maybe not trying enough. everythings still low it still feels like rock bottom while still feeling like theres more to fall. its hard to explain

Trigger Why can't we talk about it Why don't we try I think we can change our minds If we could just look at it through each other's eyes Instead of letting bullets fly i wish, at least for getting through this, we could be better at pushing emotions back to talk, that i could be better at pushing emotions back. i wish i was better at taking a step back and seeing it from another perspective before it got too late

I Really Like You Who gave you eyes like that, said you could keep them? I dunno how to act or if I should be leavin' I'm running outta time, going outta my mind i remember thinking how annoying this was when it came on, but it explains so well this state of limbo, this state of “what can i say, what cant i say”

Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic Every little thing she does is magic Everything she do just turns me on Even though my life before was tragic Now I know my love for her goes on my dad used to play this a lot when i was younger and i forgot it for a while, but something about you sparked me to remember it, to want to hear it on repeat, to belt it despite how quiet it is on spotify, to let it wash over me

How You Get The Girl And then you say I want you for worse or for better I would wait for ever and ever Broke your heart, I'll put it back together I would wait for ever and ever i remember how you used to say you didnt like this song but now it kinda feels like were living it, that someones going to show up on someones door step six months down the line in the pouring rain. or maybe someone wont. but it doesnt stop ever resonating with me so deep in my bones

Be There I'll be the warmth in your empty hotel I'll make it right when you're going through hell I'll be the call when there's no one to tell no matter the situation, ill still be there for you. doesnt matter when, how, what, why, ill be there

Anchor If you’re lost And feel like you’re alone I’ll be the one to guide you home You’ll never have far to go just to really drive the point home with a little tritonal, ill be your anchor, maybe not your rock, im not solid enough, or rooted myself. i sway with the tide but ill still be something you can hold on to

My Life Would Suck Without You Maybe I was stupid For telling you goodbye Maybe I was wrong For tryin' to pick a fight I know that I've got issues But you're pretty messed up too Either way I found out I'm nothing without you i dont care how rocky its been, i refuse to let myself be without you, whatever that entails

Dopamine What you do to me is no good But baby, you're good for me, so good for me We break up to build something new Chasing after what I have with you i think no matter what, it will always feel like what im doing is trying to get back what we had, but not the way it was, more the way we fit together, how we could sit together and be content, to fight and curse each other out but still somehow make it ok, thats what id be chasing after

I’m Yours So I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait I'm sure There's no need to complicate Our time is short This is our fate, I'm yours my heart will always be yours, even if you dont want it, it doesnt plan on going anywhere any time soon. i could leave and it would still stay with you

I Want You Back Oh, baby, give me one more chance To show you that I love you Won't you please let me Back in your heart Oh, darling, I was blind to let you go Let you go baby Cause now since I see you it is all victoria justices voice makes it feel more relevant somehow, maybe its the female voice with the same lyrics, maybe its just the way she sings it, who knows, but this rings pretty fuckin true

Just Wanna Be With You I got a lot of things I have to do All these distractions Our futures coming soon We're being pulled a hundred different directions But whatever happens I know I've got you while comedic in the end of year musical, the rehearsal version really i think really captures the heart of the relationship, that everything is happening everywhere and theres nowhere to stop and breathe but theyre still there for each other, and i will be too

Black Butterflies and Deja Vu I lose my voice when I look at you Can't make a noise though I'm trying to Tell you all the right words Waiting on the right words one of my favourites off the album, i hadnt found one i connected with much off the american candy album, except for ‘miles away’ perhaps, but then LLL dropped with this as a single and it just clicked so much with me. i find it so hard to tell you all the things i want to, the right things to tell you, its hard to ask you to be patient for me to get out what i want to, and i always end up sticking my foot in it, but one day ill get it right

Marry Me Forever can never be long enough for me To feel like I've had long enough with you a soft way to end this playlist, a perfect way to end it i think

#jasmine shut up #needed to get this out tbh

1 note · View note

floramodus-archive · 7 years

Text

begin disaster ==>

floramodus fuckfuckjfuck DAVE!!!!!!

clockworkkatana what whats up

floramodus my microscpe exploded i cant see theres glass and blood everywhere i dont wanna die again but i cant SSEE!!!

clockworkkatana whoa fuck wait what

floramodus the nuclear reactor battery in my scope combusted and i couldnt contain it all in time and it blew out my retinas and i think shattered my lens i dont know i dont know!!!!!!

clockworkkatana um fuck okay hold still ill be there in just a second

floramodus be careful i dontt know how b a d the glass went

clockworkkatana dont worry ill put on shoes just stay still a second okay? dont move

floramodus ggot that covered i kinda stopped trying when i got a shard of goddamn GLASS in my hands!!

clockworkkatana ill take care of that too just keep breathing for now im on my way

clockworkkatana "Keep breathing" is advice both to her and yourself, and you try best to follow it as the transportalizer warms up, dumping you unceremonious on the receiver pad a universe away. You swear to fuck, if another friend dies (or even is badly injured) you're going to have to break something. A fundamental force of the universe, maybe. You'res still workshopping.

"Flo?" you say, voice steady as you please, slowly opening the door to her room. You hear the crunch of glass underfoot and know you've found the right place. "It's me. It's Dave. Talk to me, Flo."

floramodus Even blind and panicking you can't help but hiccup a laugh at his voice. God, your a mess. "I know its you, Dave. It's not-" You spit out another mouthful of blood, voice wavering as you take off your glasses to cover your mangled eyes with your equally bleeding hand.

"It's not like I was expecting anyone else," you finish, twisting your body to face where you heard him enter. As casual as you tried to look you felt like you could scream; Thank fuck the explosion hadnt of hurt your ears, because seeing nothing but red and black reminded you too fondly of your time in the horrorterrors. You fumbled to find the chair with your other hand, gripping the leg when you found it. "I hope you werent working."

clockworkkatana You wince at the blood - fuck, there sure is a lot of that, huh? - and fail to summon a reassuring smile you know she can't see. "I don't know what your life's like," you counter, taking careful steps towards her, avoiding as much glass as you can manage, "best to make sure you knew it's me and not some rando, yeah?"

She turns to face you and oh good lord you think you've actually had this nightmare once or twice. How about fuck. "Jesus," you murmur under your breath before clearing your throat and raising your voice for her to hear: "Nah, don't worry about it. Not a lot's more pressing than this, don't stress about me." You reach out to place a hand on her shoulder, kneeling down beside her.

floramodus The contact snaps you farther back into reality, or breaks the overall shock. What ever the case, your still left with the throbbing pain actually hitting you for the first time. Fuck. You spend a minute trying to level your breathing. Maybe think of something witty and cool to respond with. You fail, but you'd doubt he'd give you shit for it.

"I didn't think I was doing anything dangerous," you whimper, taking your hand off your face as you try to push yourself up onto your knees. Your rewarded with surprise! More glass in your knees and the sensation of shards tangled in your tail. Keeping you head low trying to spare him more imagery then he has to see, you find his arm to touch something not laced with goddamn glass. You cant even feel yourself crying but you have an inkling you are. "I was just updating some information and I still managed to fuck up. I dont wanna die again.How else am I gonna fix this?"

clockworkkatana You are so bad at bedside manner. You take a breath and swallow down the discomfort, though, you have more important things to worry about. "We're gonna figure it out," you say, and you can almost believe yourself, saying it. "Just. Okay. First things first, we're gonna get you out of here and get you cleaned up. Sound good? Leave the worrying about to me, I can handle that."

You're still mumbling what are supposed to be reassurances when you rise slowly to your feet, sliding her arm around your neck. "Just relax and keep to breathing, yeah?" you say, carefully picking her up off the broken glass. "I got you from here." Your apartment hasn't needed to double as field hospital since Briar came back, but you've kept the kits well stocked just in case. "You don't have to fix this," you reassure. "Leave it to me. You're not gonna die again. You didn't fuck this up. S'not your fault. I'll handle this. Just let me do that, alright?"

floramodus "Don't you ever get tired of being the one to handle everything Dave?" you mumble, hissing through your teeth. Helpful as getting off a floor coated in glass was the urge to crawl right back into a ball was almost too tempting. Instead you grip tighter to him, trying to keep most of the blood off. From the smell alone you doubt its worth the work. Doesn't stop the worry from needling physical responses out of you.

"You spend so much of your time fixing things. Things that werent your fault and shouldnt be." You lean your head against him, ears flicking as you listen to him try- and fail- to appear as composed. "You can handle alot but do you ever ask if you should?" Before you even let that tangent fully settle you bring up your defense, with a breathy laugh. "I know this pickle I've gotten myself into isn't the time to question your motives I much appreciate not being a pin cushion till I expire. Your much warmer than the floor anyway."

clockworkkatana Don't you? But, then, if you won't, who will? (Or, you suppose, if you don't handle things, what are you supposed to do? Stand by and watch things happen? Never seemed your style.) "It's worth it," you reply, and you suppose it's answer enough.

It's difficult, carrying a goddess in your arms and scrolling through transportalizer coordinates to find the one that leads back home, but somehow you manage, face dour as Flora laughs. "I'd rather bear the brunt of it if it means you lot don't have to. And - don't talk like that. You're not expiring. We don't have expiration dates and you're hardly that far out if we did."

floramodus You'd roll your eyes if they werent throbbing with the rest of your skull. A classic Dave response, one you expected, but it had to be said. No use to argue with a knight after all. Instead you yawn, it twisting into a sigh. You were tired in many many ways. "I won't argue with the Time player about death dates but you know what I meant! I'm just saying being with you is a much better alternative than was my other options were."

You jump hearing the transportilizer whirring to life, having lost your awareness of your surroundings. It made you shiver, knowing where the thing was in the map in your head but not being able to pinpoint it visually. Especially when the smells switched in an instant, throwing your generally clear sense out the window. You shook your head, trying to stamp down the shaking. "And considering it feels like the horrorterrors are gonna tear me apart again, I don't particularly wanna see my other options if thats alright with you."

clockworkkatana You guess you smile at that, a lip curling with a huff of breath. "Yeah, I guess you got me there." Artemis and company give a chorus as you step inside, watching as you carrying Flora through the apartment towards Briar's room.

You still think of it as hers, anyway, and you've hardly touched it since she left, but she won't be back today or tomorrow or maybe ever so you guess it's alright to use it for its intended purpose when you rented this place. That is, a place to not bleed all over the floors and ruin your deposit. "Fine by me," you say, depositing her very gently on the bed. Talos appears in the doorframe, and you get him to go grab the medkits while you focus on getting her sorted. "Don't worry, alright? I'm right here and I got you. You're gonna be fine."

floramodus "I think at this point your saying that more for yourself than me," you chuckle, despite still shivering. Smooth, almost like you weren't having a panic attack so bad your chest felt like it was collasping. Like you couldnt feel your own pulse in between seizing pain. Tucking yourself close once you were set down, you cocked your head trying to pinpoint where you were in Dave's house. You have been here a million times but this place smelled like Briar and stale iron more than the usual scents.

"This is Briar's old place isn't it," you murmur, wiping the collecting blood off your face with the back of your hand, clenched tight enough you felt your nails digging into the cuts on your palms. Normally you wouldn't even breach that subject if you could help it but he could throw you a bone here. He could have taken you to Briar's for all you know. Though you think you couldn't have paid him enough to do so.

clockworkkatana You scowl and shoot her a scathing glare that she can't see. "I might be," you reply, taking the hint and slowing yourself right the fuck down. "Doesn't mean I don't mean it, though." Talos returns, setting down a heavy bag and rifling through supplies you've had kept safe as a just-in-case ever since you got your own place. Thank your upbringing for that, you guess.

"Oh, uh. Yeah," you falter for a moment before you shake yourself and find the bandages to wipe away the blood. You cough, finding some tweezers to start plucking the shards of glass from her skin. "Her, ah. Old room, from when she crashed with me. Yeah, why?"

floramodus It takes you a minute to get coherent enough to reply to his discomfort, due to the fact as soon you heard metal you jerked yourself back on the bed. Of course when your arm doesnt want to take your weight you fall onto your side with a hiss. Right, at Dave's. Not a doctor. Doesn't stop your pulse from trying to escape your mortal coil.

"Uh, nothing, I just smelt her is all. I just wanted to know where I was." You hated how pathetic that sounded, how pathetic you were at the moment in general. "I just smelted blood and Briar and I know thats not something I've smelt here before. Ive never gone in here, haven't had to." You didn't have to ask if this is where she had been when she came back. You could smell it. Even coming to the internet after the aftermath you could almost picture the disaster from the mosaic the smells made. It was uncomfortable almost, not organic.

clockworkkatana Ah. Right. You'd been trying not to think about how the air in here was still a little stashed with the weight of her. "Oh. No, yeah. This is her room. I haven't gone in here much since she moved. Not for like a set reason or anything I just haven't. Really had a reason to I guess." Do you sound as pathetic as you think that sounds? Eesh. Maybe stop thinking about it and focus on the task at hand.

"But no, yeah. We're still at my place." You spare a glance at her eyes when you dab at the blood with another bandage, wince at the red film that sort of leaks from her ducts. "At risk of asking maybe the dumbest question ever, how, uh. How are you feeling? How's the pain? I have stuff for it. Advil, oxycodone, morphine, the works. I'm working on the glass right now but. Talk to me, Flo."

floramodus "You say risk like theres a chance it wasn't dumb, Dave," you huff in a good natured way, glad for a segaway over you two trying to fumble over a charred bridge still smoldering with embers. You were never good at that. Which is why you guess the bridge of how you ended up like this is still left dry rotted. At least you had enough answers to satisfy your morbid curiousity. "It hurts. bad. I'm cold and i cant stop shivering. I want go to bed. I'm sleepy. It hurts. Did I mention it feels like I shot myself?"

You try sit up but get as far as shoving yourself up an inch before your slip back down. The more tired you got the more sitting still made you nervous. Like every second that crawled past was gonna drag you with it. "Whats the diagnosis doc? Am I gonna have to go to the rainbow bridge to fix this?" you said, yelping at the last few words as he pulled out a sizable chunk. Note to self: bulletproof glass.

clockworkkatana "Do you want these fucking drugs or not," you fire back, cracking a grin as you reel back from potentially dive-bombing into angsty horseshit again. "But. Yeah. Okay, I can work with that. Just let me get the rest of these shards out-" the words are eclipsed by a particularly tricky sliver that feels bad just to watch abscond from her skin, nevermind how it must feel on the extraction, "-and I'll let you rest. I can give you something for that, too. I'll even let you borrow my good blanket, alright?"

She shifts as you drop another shard into the little bowl you're containing them all in, and you put a hand on her shoulder to ease her back down. "Don't move, alright? You're gonna be just fine. I'm gonna patch you up and you'll be right as rain, no rainbow bridge required."

floramodus "I've never had pain meds in my life but at this point I'll take anything- it'll keep me from BITING you at least," you growl, the irony of your bared teeth not lost on you even as you fight the urge to snap his hand. "I'm doing my best here ok," you continue, as if your hands werent aching from tension, "But you know damn well I'm not gonna take anything of yours unless were sharing it Dave." Were you afraid of being alone and blind? Maybe. He didn't have to know that. He probably already did. Your friendship was infuriating like that.

You tried to think of a conversation that would fit in between the silence and not sound stupid, but really, what wouldn't? Sure lets talk about the weather while your laying here, blind as a bat, whimpering as you scratch at your own eyes because they felt like goddamn sandpaper. Real casual.

"It's hell actually caring that you exist," you finally say, turning you head to look at him. "Before I made such progress when I didn't care if each time I died it could end up just. Now? its so frustrating that every option is a dead end! Even with all the knowledge and equipment I have I'm failing Bec again and again just like I failed David, Rose, John.........All of you when I couldn't just find a goddamn solution and be able to stop!"

Another piece, another panging spasm. "The saddest thing is theres solutions all around but guess what? I don't want any of you hurt. Not if I tried to play the game again, you using that damned book of yours. Why can't that be solace enough to quit? Why do I still do this? I've probably learnt too much from you." you conclude, turning your head back around with a sigh.

clockworkkatana “I know, I know,” you begin, though she beats you to the punch and drops you with a couple of bombshells that have you sighing and silent. The morphine is right where you left it from last time, and you rattle the bottle a little in your hand, toying with the cap. “I don’t need morphine.”

The hand on her shoulder cups her face - you don’t know anything about anything but you don’t think scratching at her eyes is going to help things - for a moment before pulling away, and you match her sigh with one of your own. “You aren’t failing anyone,” you say, and you mean it, really you do, but even to you the words sound tired. “The game just fucked you, straight up. You shouldn’t have to torture yourself over reworking and reverse-engineering this fucking. Planet-ending crock of eldritch horror straight from a Sims-addicted serial killer’s fantasy fever dream to try and undo what basically amounts to fate bullshit and destiny /fucks/. That shouldn’t be on you, Flora.”

You pluck what you think is the last shard of glass and drop it unceremoniously into the bowl, waving your hand in the air in a gesture she can’t even see. “Don’t even talk about playing again, dude. I know you’re hurting for answers but for real. Don’t mess with that. I’ll take the stupid book and whatever it did to Briar over you going back in there any day of the week.” At the mention of the tome, you glance over to see it resting on the cleared-out space of Briar’s desk. As though it’d been there all along, beckoning. “What could it do to me, anyway.”

floramodus You crack a small smile at his colorful tangent, knowing realistically he was right. It wasn't your choice to play. It wasn't your choice to die. And yet, here you were. Fumbling with your hand, you wave it like an unsure dog until you make contact with his arm, gripping it. "It could do a hell of alot to you Dave and you know it. You don't what it does you've said it yourself. Do you think I could live with myself if it did something?"

You let go, moving your blood stuck bangs off your forehead, wincing at the pang of pain that radiates up your forearm. "I survived losing everyone I care for Dave. I thought that was the worst that could happen. I know I'm wrong about that. If something hurt you id easily find something just without thought. You don't know how much you've made this life worth living. It's an option, yeah, but you've got to look at yourself and know that."

You lay your arm back down on your stomach, sucking air in through your teeth. Who knew being covered in glorified papercuts would sting so much? "But don't worry, I won't play the game again. That I can leave in the past and not be discontent."

clockworkkatana You shrug to that. Hypothetically, from what you know? It could do a great fucking deal of a lot. Briar’d only used it as last resort, and look what she had to show for it. Then again, so had you, and you’d seen no adverse side effects, aside from the one where she moved out. “It wouldn’t kill me,” you reply. “Besides, I’ve used it before. How do you think I brought Briar back?”

You wince in empathy, shaking out the morphine pills and pressing them gently into her hand while Talos exits to grab her a drink. Then you wince again, when her words process. “Come on, Flo,” you begin, a pang of guilt racking you as she carries on. “I care about you too, you know that. And that’s exactly why I’m bringing it up: I want to fix this, and the book is… it’s good at fixing things. You wouldn’t lose me for that - no one would.”

You make a hum of appreciation at the appeasement of that particular nightmare. “We don’t have to do anything right now. We don’t have to make any decisions yet. But we’ll figure something out. Maybe it’s the book, maybe it’s another way. But we’ll find a way to fix this. I promise that.”

floramodus You let the tension ebb out of your shoulders at his affirmations, but still let a frown creep through. Yeah, he had brought her back, but you knew things like that, never worked the same way twice. However, if he insisted everything would work out, you were inclined to believe him. Many drunken and wounded nights in the past year had proven his words correct; Everything would be ok if you believed him.

"Not like I'm in the right place to be making any important decisions" you joke, giving the pills a tentative sniff. Dave could have given you cyanide for all you care, but the sharp scent of sulfate and stale wrongness still sent a shudder down your spine. Gross. "But your right, nothing we can do tonight anyway. I just-" you pause, trying to prop and pull yourself up so you could take these pills without choking, and manage to pull yourself up just enough to be able to slump your weight on your elbow. You take By then you didn't know how to finish that statement, so you throw the pills in your mouth and chase them down with the water Talos brings a few minutes later into your pondering. What did you wish for? To be able to be better at being the powerful god you wanted to be? Or that he would have been David, giving you someone that actually cared enough to try? "I just care too much, but thats always been my problem hasn't it?"

#action #plot #clockworkkatana #blood /#eye horror /#gore /#injury /#suicide mention /#death mention /#drugs /#literally ask to tag theres so much #but heres what shes been up too #long /#really goddamn long /

4 notes · View notes

roughentumble · 6 years

Text

a freaky and disorienting thing is that ive realized that, as i accept more and more that i am a trans guy and thats ok, the more i sympathize w/ male characters that are just........ objectively The Worst. like i suffered through the ENTIRETY of Just Friends(2005) for Ryan Reynolds, and-- actually, hold on a sec, before i get back to the point i gotta take a quick sidebar to explain the pain, the TORTURE that is Just Friends, the 2005 film starring Ryan Reynolds and Amy Smart, and written by Adam 'Tex' Davis.

i had to watch it muted for like 90% of the film. the intensity of the “cringe” aspect of this film that bills itself as a “cringe “”””comedy””””” was so off-the-charts that i physically could not stop myself from vocalizing my discomfort through groans and screeches. i would mute the film, turn the screen away, play on my phone for a minute because i literally could not handle seeing the rest of the scene, only to turn my computer back around and find it STILL ON THE EXACT SAME SCENE. i skipped entire swathes of the film. it literally got to the point that i could not handle what was happening and i just--

i gave up! i gave up and i just skipped forward until i found scenes i thought i could handle, or that featured two people Talking instead of some Event Happening, and i’d watch that, and then the scene would change and i’d be in Suffer Town again, population 1: me. Me is the only inhabitant of Suffer Town. so much of the movie hinges so thoroughly on like-- like. A Person Failing At A Thing They’re Good At. and it made me want to die. i think this movie gave me depression, on top of my preexisting depression. it squared my depression.

OKAY, back to my original point. or like, a mixture of explaining The Film, and explaining why my own reaction to it startled me so much. anyway.

so, ignoring the intense amount of Suffering you’ll have to live through if you’re bound and determined to watch ryan reynold’s entire filmography and you get to this monstrosity, the gist of the plot is thus: ryan reynolds plays a man who was a Stock Dweeb Character in high school. overweight, very low self-esteem, “uncool” hobbies, a very uncomfortable fixation on the one pretty girl who is nice to him and hangs out with him(who herself is dating a Stock Jerk Jock Football Player, who we’ll call SJJ, because I can’t remember his name and he doesn’t matter). on their graduation night they throw a party, he signs her yearbook with a Love Confession, and intends to give it to her.

something something The Yearbooks Accidentally Get Swapped, something something She Reads The Wrong Note And Goes “Um. Wtf My Dude????”. cue him going “NOO I DIDNT WRITE THAT WHAT? WHAT? WAIT OH NOOOO!!!”. cue him running downstairs and seeing SJJ reading his confession aloud to a chorus of twittering classmates.

so yeah, he’s embarrassed, the whole school’s laughing at him because of Course. he runs from the party yelling that he’s going to “be somebody” and also something about how the rest of them will never be anybody. ya’know. that usual thing you see Generic Stock Nerds saying when their feelings are real hurt in movies.

cut to the future. he looks like ryan reynolds in 2005, so, you know. Really Fucking Good. like, Only Reason To Watch This Garbage Film levels of good. like, They Should Have Given Him Shirtless Scenes As Payment For Me Sitting Through The Rest Of It kinda’ fine. anyway. he’s hot and beautiful and is a talent manager for celebrities. he’s all rich and attractive, and he’s a complete sack of garbage to women.

he’s actively horrified of the “friendzone”(im cringing right now just writing the word. its so awful) and he’s really not interested in women above a surface level. we see a woman at a bar who’s clearly his date telling him that he’s the Worst and that he needs to see women as people. as she talks he is disinterested at best. she walks away and another lady, who’s overheard the conversation, looks him up and down and decides she doesn’t really care what he’s like because he’s pretty, they flirt, and suddenly he’s been broken up with and acquired a NEW date in the span of about a minute of screentime.

he gets women basically wherever he goes, because he’s only really interested in a specific type of person and(i promise this is the last time i say it) because he looks like 2005 ryan reynolds.

so because of some Plot Devices, he ends up back in his hometown and unable to get a plane out. he sees SJJ who is now a washed-up drunkard who wears his old varsity jacket around because Of Course. ryan finds him offputting, as do i, and it’s one of the few nearly funny scenes in the film, just because i enjoy juxtaposition and so(despite it being the most boilerplate, run-of-the-mill, dull point to make in a film) it actually was something i didn’t hate to see.

he also sees Pretty Girl From High School. they semi-hit it off. she’s shocked that he looks Like That(i know i promised not to mention it again but it’s a legit plot point this time leave me alone), he’s shocked she still looks Like That. they agree to get food the next day.

ryan acts like a bit of a dick, name-dropping celebs he works with left and right, and getting really aggressive when a waitress drops off a plate of his old usual(a really fattening pancake... thing. it looked gross tbqh.) and like, ok, so, i just, here’s where i--

okay. okay. okay. okay. in Ye Olde Days, i wouldve written him off as a douche, and hated him, and, i. i

i couldnt help but, feel, SO bad for him???? like. okay. he just. he had NO self-esteem as a teen. he felt extremely bad about himself, for a TON of reasons, so he literally ran away and reinvented himself entirely and, found a marginal amount of enjoyment from his life???? like, was he happy? no. but he was... he hated himself a little less maybe? he worked really hard to feel good about his body, he worked really hard to get a job he felt any semblance of pride in, he worked REALLY hard to eventually get to a place where he could feel... literally anything positive at any point. he genuinely truly put in real effort to become healthy and have a good career.

and then he, he gets stuck back at his old house, and people are trying to force him to eat food that makes him feel awful and then mocking him when he gets defensive about it, he gets injured and needs to go back to wearing his retainer again, he openly fails at a BUNCH of stuff that he’s specifically been working REALLY FUCKIN HARD AT, for YEARS, because he was insecure about being bad at it in high school(like ice skating, he’s really good at it now because he sucked in high school and he wanted to overcome that), and then also receives more mocking for failing at it, and. you just.

you’re watching someone who was at the bottom of a pit of despair, who clawed tooth and nail at the clay walls of their misery-prison in order to haul themselves all the way up to the lofty height of “misery pit again, but different this time”, as they get caught in a downpour that completely erases all their progress and they slide right back to where they started. you see him completely regress and it K I L L E D me. he gets stuck back in a place where every single flaw he tried to overcome is just! shoved! back! on him! all over!

and, yeah, he’s. not great to women. he’s not beating them or anything, i don’t think he treats them SUPER badly, or actively thinking of them as lesser. but it doesn’t change the fact that he is BAD to them, and he thinks of all interactions with attractive women as transactional. and thats TERRIBLE. but i just!!! i cant help myself man i cant stop i just i look at him and all i feel is like!!!!!!!

leave him alone!!!!!!!!!!! get the boy therapy or something!!! dont tear him down like this!!!!!!! we cant just tear someone down every time they make a semblance of an attempt at being Not Miserable!!!!!!!! just!!!!! he doesnt need this, man!!!!! hes literally just The Saddest Person with The Lowest Self Esteem Of All Time, so he uses his newfound ability to find people willing to sleep with him, as a way of raising his self esteem. is he the Best Person? not on your life. but he’s just! a sad little man! who’s trying his best! i dont wanna see him torn to shreds, man. i just want him to realize that his self-worth doesn’t have to rely entirely on whether or not he’s sexually appealing.

because at the end of the day, i think that’s his major problem??? his own self-worth is so thoroughly wrapped up in whether he perceives himself as someone who’s sexually appealing to others.

which like! fuck you! thats considered a Big Problem and So Sad when it’s a girl, if she feels her only self-worth comes from being sexually attractive to men, but, it feels like every time i see a dude goin thru somethin similar, its like “oh hes just a Bad.” and i get it, not only do men have the societal power in this equation, but also when theyre dealin with this same problem, dudes tend to externalize it in really unhealthy and sexist ways, and im not. im not saying every sexist dude just needs a manic pixie dream girl to waltz into his life or some shit!!! im just!!!!!!!!!! idk!!!

i just cant stop sympathizing w/ the dude. and wanting him to get Help. and suffering immensely when i see him literally regressing into a place of misery right before my very eyes.

when really all i was supposed to get from the movie is “man was Fat and Gross. he grow up 2 b Sexist Womanizer. now he see old crush and learn Sexism Bad. then kissy”

#long post tag #LIKE. this is simply one example #i still generally go ''nah hes a Dick'' but ive been. more and more. just bein like #''but...................... b- but........ tht poor guy :(''#and im so lost. i feel like im in a wind tunnel of confusion #maybe this is a Healthier way to be and maybe im just Maturing and this happens to be coinciding with like #getting more comfortable w/ saying im trans and acknowledging im A Dude #so idk. but. still. life is weird and bad and i dont understand #maybe im loosing the Female Perspective. maybe in a month i'll be an incel complaining about Femoids #(im joking)

0 notes