#so idk. but. still. life is weird and bad and i dont understand

[arionaleilani]

how tf did me facetiming someone i matched with on tinder turn into them giving me unsolicited advice about giving people your full attention after i already let them know that i recently got diagnosed as adhd and it’s hard for me to focus on just one thing/person and then them telling me that “based on my behavior” they think i’m autistic like ?? didn’t ask, we literally started messaging each other like a day ago, even if i am autistic (which wouldn’t be a bad thing if i am) when has it ever been socially acceptable to tell someone you JUST MET that you think they’ve got some kind of mental disorder/illness/disability/etc.

my friends have mentioned that i might be autistic and that’s fine bc i’ve spent a lot of time with them and they actually know me and i take their perspective of me very seriously because they’re the people who see me 100% unfiltered and have known me whenever i’ve been completely unmedicated. i trust their word.

this person from tinder, however, i have sent like maybe 20-30 messages to where we talked about nanowrimo and i was like omg it’d be so cool to meet someone who also writes, whether it’s as friends or as more, i would love that—only for our facetime call to be less than 20 minutes long and for them to try and diagnose me as autistic just because i, after ALREADY TELLING THEM that i have adhd and after them asking about meds and me telling them that i haven’t taken my adhd meds today because i didn’t have work and also i’ve taken multiple naps today which has made my head even more foggy and made it even harder than usual to focus, found it difficult to focus.

like. i wasn’t unresponsive. i wasn’t ignoring them. i was listening and i was responding, i just also was looking between my phone and my laptop screen.

which okay i understand that maybe i’m just frustrated because of the “based on your behavior” comment because an 18 minute facetime call does not give someone enough interaction time to try and fucking diagnose me as anything, and maybe this is more of a we just didn’t vibe and that’s fine, i don’t think they’re like a bad person or anything and if nothing else i’m glad the mismatched vibes were felt before deciding to meet up or anything, but also.

eighteen minutes. literally eighteen minutes and they fucking “based on your behavior i think you’re autistic” and “here’s some advice, when meeting new people you should give them your full attention”

FUCK that.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[mbat]

i cant believe its been almost 5 years since su ended aughhh how has it been so long

[sha-brytols]

fun little facts about my wardens

iloren mahariel: thank you complete bi overhaul for removing the weird gender restrictions from the origin mini romances. iloren and tamlen were very very close. they were basically the clan delinquents and spent literally every second of the day joined by the hip ever since they were liddol liddol. in my head they became close with merrill after iloren got in a literal actual fight with a clanmate that was bullying her when they were kids (tamlen was not at all involved in the confrontation before the fight but he still joined when iloren threw hands because of course), and since then merrill like. helped cover and lie for them whenever they snuck out at night to explore the forest and probably make out. oh also him and caleb are the ones with the most beef and anger towards duncan because he had to use to rite on both of them, so they obviously feel a little more like prisoners than recruits .

rourat brosca: i do think he was a little in love with leske but he also didn't trust him. at all. he doesn't trust anyone in orzammar besides rica don't worry about it. anyways in trisha's worldstate i imagine he probably actually Talks (he's mute) to leske for the first and only time as he's starving to death specifically to tell him to take care of his family, so when leske escapes he takes kalah rica and the baby to the surface. in my gay lil brain they're given heavy protection by the friends of red jenny, which endrin eventually joins once he grows up.

caleb cousland: okay fine bioware if you're so insistent on introducing casual mysogyny to the setting you literally introduced as equal treatment between genders i wanna actually Understand it. if i ever actually get around to doing a full run with him, caleb would theoretically be basically my way of exploring why and How sexism in thedas exists despite. andraste. he has the same weird mindset like 90% of the other npcs have if you play a woman ("damn you're a girl? you're a fucking woman? you're fighting and you're a chick? holy shit") and im hoping that like. roleplaying through that would give me a better meta idea of the religious and cultural attitudes behind it all. he would also spare loghain and marry anora in my brain and the entire landsmeet is going to make eamon go into another coma

trisha amell: omg ❤️ war criminal princess ❤️ not much to say that i dont think has already been yapped about, but i'll reiterate my entire thesis on her, which is trisha's character basically revolves around the idea of "innocence lost" and my personal favorite paradigms in dragon age's morality. like the warden is meant to be Young right. like they can't be any older than maybe 25 and even then i feel like that's a big stretch for most of them. and the magi warden has been raised in an extremely controlled and isolated environment all their life, and now suddenly they're thrown out into the big bad world and told they have to save all of it. they have the least experience and the least knowledge, and on top of all of that they're still essentially a child in the eyes of the world, and they are expected to lead armies and strategize against an enemy they know literally nothing about. how would that affect you, having your most formative life experiences revolve around war and suffering and death and betrayal and fear, all within the span of one year? you're gifted freedom, but is it really freedom if you've been forced onto a pedestal as an icon of hope, and all you've known since you've earned this freedom is violence? it makes for an extremely fascinating dynamic when she gets into politics that i'll always be a whore for.

brynne aeducan: ok i know gorim canonically gets married to someone else after the exile but i just think the idea of brynne being the wife he offhandedly mentions to the warden is cute. this means brynne actually never dies. don't ask how the hell that happens idk. i might write a little thing about that because that whole dynamic really does something for me. the power imbalance and rank disparity thats always loomed over their heads like a fucking anvil suddenly flipped and now they have to adjust and learn each others boundaries as equals. also she was named after her grandmother (brynhal aeducan) heart. her beef with trian is also tragic in that they were originally very very close when they were younger. he taught her everything he knew about combat and politics and she idolized him but their relationship got absolutely fucked up the older and older they got and he watched how beloved she was with the people of orzammar, until eventually bhelen saw the opportunity to exploit his envy and completely turned his siblings against each other.

dahlia tabris: iiiii'm still workshopping because. ok i'll be honest i'm mostly ambivalent towards the city elf origin so i kind of just played it entirely straight. but my mind does tend to veer towards making her the most cold out of everyone. she would probably have the most "evil" run because she grew up with a very "everyone for themselves" mindset. but by evil i mean like. she isn't cruel and she isn't going out of her way to hurt people, but she is very vengeful and ruthlessly practical. i would definitely have her side with the elves in nature of the beast rather than broker peace, probably kill connor, and i'd Consider siding with branka but the forced slavery makes me wonder so. i'll get back to you on that one .

[sonic-4-episode-ii]

heres a "quick" list of some hcs regarding physical disabilities, mental illnesses & other stuff that can impair function or is "odd" physically but i dont know the proper term for

might update this every once in a while but for now thats it

spoiler alert: its all chronic pain!

Sonic

Fibromyalgia, big-time. Uses massively thick socks to stop his feet from hurting too much while running.

DID, which starting developing when he was like....4. now that he's (mostly) gotten over his "just push everything down" era, inter-system communications are pretty strong, and he's friends w/ a lot of his headmates

doesnt have the best eyesight (in fact its p awful) but hes convinced he can still see well enough so he refuses to wear his glasses. WILL NOT wear contacts

has NPD

autistic. contrary to popular believe, he doesnt have ADHD

schizophrenia. idk which type or whatever. hes got the hallucinations.

has auditory and visual (???) synthesia which caused him to. make the sonic CD us sountrack. yeah

Tails

HoH, but doesn't like using hearing aids. A bad habit inspired by Sonic's refusal to wear his own glasses

OCD, huge-time. his paranoia can get so bad sometimes that he doesn't even trust Sonic. doing much better in that regard nowadays, though.

tic disorder, hits themself or has their neck turn the other way violently (hurts!!!!!!)

so obviously autistic they get a little embarrassed abt it sometimes

c-ptsd haver

Knuckles

Undiagnosed chronic pain, has no idea what's causing it. Fully believed it was emerald stealing karma for YEARS.

gets weird pinched nerves alot because of some of his old scars being close to nerve endings. ow

has bad eyesight but genuinely didnt realize for years

has a sort of? processing disorder thing? i dont actually know what it is. when you try to talk but actual gibberish comes out n you cant think. someone else had the same hc but i forgot what they called it. but he has that

does actually have a lot of trauma due to being alone for most of his life and being raised by nothing but a rock and maaaaybe some birds. crazy ik

Amy

Horrible, awful eyesight. worst perscription out of ALL of her friends

Hypermobile joints, which is part of why she has such a horrible posture (along w her dysphoria).

abandonment issues due to. yk. being abandoned by her parents, which ends up leading into her getting unhealthily attached to anyone who gives her the time of day (and she arbitrarily decides is totally the one for her)

Shadow

PTSD (canon)

mobility issues (canon)

NPD + maybe borderline...?

Rouge

pretty much 100% deaf, uses hearing aids.

has some kinda smt going on because of the way she grew up but fuck if anyone knows what it actually is.

Blaze

Had anorexia for years, which has caused a lot of muscle weakness. Now that she's in recovering, things are a lot better, but she still uses a cane most of the time.

has depression, anxiety and self-worth issues due to being bullied as a child. not just for her flame powers

double anxiety bc of people trying to take her shit

Silver

similar to Blaze, weak thanks to a really bad diet as a kid.

due to genetic mutations caused by radiation, contamination of drinking water & food, and extreme changes in the environment, silver has four arms

also a really weird immune system that flip-flops from being disturbingly strong to scarily weak (can eat actual trash somehow but a cold puts him out of the running for weeks)

anxiety + separation issues. tries to be stoic abt it tho

has dyscalculia And dyslexia, struggles with understanding english especially

Vanilla

chronic exhaustion + fibromyalgia from a young age. sort of worried cream will end up having it too

Cream

weak immune system due to lots of childhood illness. might not be able to be vaxxed bc of it

gets ear infections really easily, made significantly worse w all the dirt she kicks up from flying with her ears

unspecified panic disorder due to trauma. tries to stay brave

Charmy / charmie / charmee

constantly low blood sugar due to weird bee stuff + inconsistent diet as a kid

he thinks hes funny :/

might have autism and/or adhd

Espio

undiagnosed mobility issues. can climb fine, but has trouble walking and cant run. uses a cane

anxiety he refuses to talk abt to anyone except the other chaotix and, very rarely, silper

Vector

self-inflicted hearing loss. went to too many concerts

developed anxiety after taking care of charmy and espio for so long. thanks kids

Sticks

OCD. tends to unintentionally encourage tails's delusions. currently getting experimental therapy thats working rlly well

somehow has almost every possible vitamin deficiency

Eggman

tics similar to sonic and tails's

OSDD

NPD

Neo Metal Sonic

transfeminine metal sonic from the main au

chronic headaches after episode metal

joints tend to seize up when chilly for too long. although shes immune to water, its worse when shes cold

tics due to system errors / bugs she and tails cant fix. she doesnt actually mind them since it makes her feel more connected to her bros :]

memory problems also after episode metal

due to her memory problems she has to memorize stuff by repeatedly being given info and it takes way longer for her to learn things compared to other computers so i think she has a learning disability? bc of that?

has weird backwards sensory issues. lack of harsh lighting or metallic noises unsettles and can overwhelm her

might have NPD

has delusions. getting better at recognizing them, which helps her help tails more

Hyper Metal Sonic

second, transmasculine metal sonic from a spinoff au

self-induced chronic pain (wtf bro)

joints also seize up when cold

Sage

doesnt feel much physically, which leads to her getting bad injuries she barely recognizes for ages

autism beast

Scourge

popcorn lung due to smoking several packs of cigarettes daily so his voice sounds more gruff

everything sonic has also

[txttletale]

(Other than the really weird bit about "Male presenting Doctor") what were your thoughts about the specials?

pretty mixed bag, pretty messy, but good overall. i think they were very obviously a nostalgia trip for people around my age lol and it worked! i loved seeing tennant and tate back onscreen together, their chemistry hasn't aged a bit, and honestly just watching doctor who that wasn't written by chris chibnall was a breath of fresh air. they weren't boring, like seasons 11 and 12 were, and they didn't go too far off the other end into nonsense like flux did. characters want things again! the show can let itself just be silly! i was literally cheering out loud when donna and the doctor were just saying random scifi gobbledegook at each other for like a solid several minutes during the star beast.

the structure of the specials kind of baffles me. i love wild blue yonder--i think it's definitively the best of the specials as a standalone, it's absolutely fantastic, creepy and atmospheric and bringing things around to RTD's strength, which is well-written characters interacting with each other and letting good actors just act. but at the same time i dont understand why it exists? it feels like...idk. imagine if you watched the star wars original trilogy but instead of the empire strikes back the middle film was just a feature length film about luke and han surviving on an ice planet with no reference to anything that happens in the last film except the two characters' relationship. and then the next film was still return of the jedi, unchanged. it felt like that

i liked all the weird campy silliness of the star beast and the giggle, and they were both very fun! neil patrick harris gave a fantastic performance, there are a lot of very memorable sequences from the giggle, but it's very very all over the place. so many threads get kind of picked up and go nowhere. the toymaker's haunted house dimension goes nowhere. RTD's eyerolling social media commetnary goes nowhere (thank god tbh but yknow im illustrating something here). even the toymaker kind of goes nowhere, after ncuti gatwa shows up he's bascially an afterthought who loses by dropping a ball. obvious parallels to david tennant's first episode with that ball scene could be made, but just... aren't. it feels like load-bearing sectikons of the plot and themes were cut out to make room for a backdoor pilot for the stupid fucking UNIT spinoff

oh and it goes without saying i fucking hate all the UNIT wank in the star beast and the giggle. i hope space nine eleven 2 happens to their stupid fucking avengers tower i cannot stand kate stewart who is constantly a murderous bonehead (in the giggle alone she gets two pepole killed by not listening to the doctor and assuming that this teleporting godlike entity could be restrainted by Two Guys) who is both in and out of universe just a boring nepo baby with no merit of her own

um. i still dont know what happened with the regeneration. i think the implication is that when david tennant dies hell time travel back to become ncuti gatwa inside himself--at least the rehab dialogue seems to make that implication. but it's not really explained or explored? baffling. i do think that fourteen getting to settle down and live a peaceful life with his friends is cute.

oh yeah and the ask said other than that but goddd there was some good stuff in the star beast and honestly with the state of the UK media i will take any perspective on trans people that includes baseline human erespect but some of those lines made me cringe so bad. anyway overall i am cautiously optimistic for the future of the show--oh ncuti was fucking great did i mention that i instantly bnought him as the doctor he owned the scene, the moment he was there it was clear he was the protagonist, and i liked the church on ruby road well enough too--i am cautiously optimistic but i worry that a big UNIT-shaped tumor will devour huge chunks of it and it'll be annoying. also russel t davies is like 60 and i just dont want to hear what he has to say about twitter so im not looking forward to dot and bubble

[basofy]

I am interested to know your thoughts on why garth is the way he is. I know in general a lot of the companion's backstories are unknown but it feels like sometimes they can be put together based in what we know via bios and the behaviors/beliefs they have. Garth is one of the characters where its a bit more difficult to discern. I'm always wondering what he was like pre-flash. Idk!!! I rlly like the way you interpret his character

this ask has been here for a while sorru ive been thinking of what to say because ive thought about this a lot before but I admit some parts will sound very dumb probably, garth is just kind of hard to know since all you can do is make up stuff based on what he says and how he behaves

the more superficial reason though is i always assumed it as that his backer might've written him as this strange artist guy with a tint of creepiness to him for shits and giggles and it was austin who gave it a more serious spin but that's not really something i can count on lol it would just make sense to me

as for his in game qualities i feel like the only hint of his life that we got is he was a struggling artist even before the flash so when he saw an opportunity after the apocalypse that he thought he could exploit only to see it not work as planned (which is a detail I like a lot for reasons regarding the messages of the game) he became angstier than ever and the control he got from weaponizing how disliked his art is went to his head entirely, artistic frustration + inflated ego mixed with joy addiction yeah this guy was bound to do unspeakable things I guess

the implication that he's just adapting his art for the current situation is interesting because it highlights that part of why he does the things he does is for validation and enrichment which shows just like any artist or human being at all he too longs for connection but that is not to say he isnt a horny ass since he pretty much admits it to brad right away when you meet him and he basically tells you he jerks off all day (or nor like that I just like to make fun of him)

ohhh also i just remembered his most hated thing being "wasted creativity" which I did not understand for a while I didnt know what creativity could go to waste until a friend explained to me there might've been a time where he was not able of drawing at all so he couldnt convey the things that are important to him in art (see the emphasis in his bio on how hes willing to use any materials) it could also have to do with him feeling underappreciated so yeah this guy gets extremely sensitive if he feels hes not going anywhere with art

it could be said all this comes from a place of frustration since every bad thing he does he relates it to his art somehow so he could be some lost guy who spiraled the worst way but it could also be the case that art is his vehicle for these beliefs he already has that make him a dangerous person? his art being the same as him and all, his way to prioritize filth and see other people as just tools is like a different kind of creepy in what we see in lisa but still on board with the themes of objectification where everyone whether women as a memory or those around him exist to benefit him (in his mind) showing some self imposed entitlement that you can think was always there or not, the former is a little harder for me to count on because i feel like a guy who does everything he does only to take advantage of others wouldn't go for art of all things but something more effective i guess lmao but arent all these guys weird and doing things only they understand. I guess it's not that important as long as you dont stripe him of responsibility.

honestly his obssesion with the things that currently got a grip on the people of olathe more than ever before (sexuality and death, since some things he does points towards him being interested in death as well) creeps me out a lot as it manifests this need for control over others or maybe just an interest in human behavior under desperation i dunno bro, I see him as that he's so far gone now hes basically desensitized which is a lot to say about a guy interested in other people's emotions.

on a more personal sense when it comes to his controlling tendencies and where they come from it's easy to be like "what the hell is this guy's deal why is he so weird. did he get bullied as a child" and my headcanon was always something sort of garth having an unhealthy relationship with porn from a young age and glorifying this lifestyle as it is very common amongst men which would explain part of why he feels entitled to be a mentor to jack which i've seen other people bring up as well (ty blooming erudition) but something i also discussed with a friend is that garth was probably neglected LMAO so that could be where his desperate need for approval even comes from and why betraying brad hurt him more than he thought it would, this is entirely headcanon territory i have zero proof of this i just think 'garth kinda shows motherless behavior' and it makes sense to me

I forever wish the kickstarter companions had more said about their past life ESPECIALLY their families since family is an important reocurring theme in lisa which we see even in ur own team mates, at least for jack it's understandable to be told nothing but for the others it's a bit of a wasted opportunity but I guess it's also harder to write in this context, and garth doesn't even have a last name i guess thats part of his artist persona honestly his real name might not even be garth.

this is very rambly sorry i grab an ask and yap like there's no tomorrow I dont really have a definitive answer on why this guy is like he is but i guess we're are not meant to know since even the game itself hides that from you ("his motives are unknown but he really likes to draw dirty stuff") how everybody sees him depends on what exactly they feel like getting out of him I think

[celestie0]

Idk if this is weird to ask but can you tell more about your situationship?😭 I’m curious since it inspired the story idkkk

nooo not weird at all haha, i had plans to share more ab it once i was done w kickoff but i dont really mind sharing a bit now (will literally always take up any chance to talk ab it it’s an impulse i cannot resist)

basically i met this guy like halfway through my freshman year of college at a frat event, it was a bit different from kickoff dynamic in that we started hooking up pretty soon after that, just a casual thing, but then the pandemic hit and so he went back home to live w his grandpa/family in new york (i live in cali) once campus shut down and stuff. obviously we couldn’t hook up anymore LMFAO but we still talked a lot and i think it was during this time of just talking to one another that i really started to catch massive feelings for him :”)

i went through some bad anxiety during covid, struggling a lot w my career and if i still wanted to pursue the things i thought i wanted (i think a lot of college students went through this w the pandooski) but he would always be there for me and would stay on facetime calls w me if i was struggling to study, he’d cheer me up w pics of his tibetan dogs lol, just reallyyy sweet ugh when we were long distance i rly saw a side of him i didn’t before and i think that’s what made me fall for him

i confessed to him first, similar to reader in kickoff, n told him we could do long distance until he moved back here. but then he hit me with the “i’m sorry, i can’t date you, i’ve got commitment issues”. in his case, he had a long-term girlfriend in high school for four years who he also was dating into college (before he met me), but he found out she had been cheating on him for a long time w not just one but multiple of his friends 😭 so..he said he has really bad trust issues, and that he really wanted to try to date me, but he just felt like he couldn’t

i was really hurt, obviously, but i think in hindsight maybe it was a responsible decision on his part to not throw me into a mess of a relationship w him, one he knew he wasn’t ready for. but at the time, i just thought that it was bc i wasn’t good enough to change his mind. anyways, he asked if we could still talk and be friends, and i said sure bc i didn’t really want to lose him. i figured i could just wait for him (and i told him that i would)

yeahhh well the waiting was way more fucking painful than i thought. he flew to cali once to visit me when flights were sort of resuming, which is just fucking insane because you’ll fly to see me but you won’t date me 😭, and i told him that it’d be the last time he ever sees me! and it was :”) maybe it was an impulsive decision by me, but idk. yknow when you get stuck in a limbo for what feels like forever that you make a decision just for the sake of making one (it was such a short amt of time in reality, but it felt like forever) he made a comment to me in our last conversation about how he really wished he didn’t have to be someone i had to wait on to change, and that really fuckin stuck w me lmao i cried so hard the drive home from the airport. i think all the “what-ifs” kinda sunk in at that moment

ch7 of kickoff was basically me trying to get inside the head of the guy from my situationship, and see what it’s like to have fears hold you back from wanting to experience something for yourself, something that could be beautiful if you would just give it a chance. i felt like if i wrote it from that angle, i’d have more understanding of my situationship (i dont have commitment issues myself, tbh i’ve never rlly understood the concept. like, i’ve been fucked over by ppl in my life too but i’m never one to punish the next person for it. dealing w my situationship was really hard because of this, i would get really frustrated, but writing ch7 from gojo’s character’s perspective made situationship guy’s feelings make more sense to me, i think, there was a sense of closure in that)

but anyways, i was in love w him for sure. like, possibly infatuated. there was a time where we got into a big argument about something and i think i legit i cried myself into a fever 💀 it was all so crazy and powerful, the feelings, i’ve been involved w n dated other guys since but of course none of it really compares. idk, i guess there are just some people that can make you feel that way, there’s really no use in understanding why.

this sounds so sappy, lmaoo i swear i truly am “over” him in that i hardly think of him that much anymore, n tbh i don’t think of him specifically all that much while i’m writing kickoff, but there are moments where i can’t help but bring those feelings into the story.

there’s a line in ch8, near the end of the bed scene, where reader has a thought like

“You feel so safe with him, and yet you also feel scared, because you like him so much that you would let him ruin you if he wanted to.”

yeah. that’s basically how i felt about him.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - April 22

grounded anon, folklore anon, Spoty anon (new), crushed anon (new), 100% anon

Grounded anon

Hi! I'm glad things have calmed down a bit at home!

Ugh, yeah. Unfortunately it's a canon event as a queer person to have a crush on a straight friend. And it SUCKS.

Remember that you're allowed to set boundaries, though. Like if it's too hurtful to be physically affectionate and say 'I love you' in a platonic way, you don't HAVE to do that. You can say that you prefer less affection, and that's okay! Put your mental health first! <3

___

folklore anon

hii its folklore anon, its been so long since i came here but i think something's wrong with me

so idk if you remember but told you that i have this uncle who i love and this uncle is living in europe(croatia) ad as my godfather he invited me (well my grandma, my aunt and her fam-) to visit him and basicly today is our 4th day. my mom is always checking up on me and every time she says that she misses me i just say "me too" but i really dont feel it, and also before i left she was like "yeah when youll leave its gonna be nice to get rid of us" or smthg like that but in a like funny way but in my mind i was like"ye youre right" but i just smiled and its so idk weird and i feel a little guilty that im not missing my fam

anyways hope youre doing okay<3

Hi!

I mean if you don't miss your family, there's probably a reason for that, and it's not something to do with you. So I don't think you should feel guilty for that at all. But I also don't think you should feel guilty for lying because like...what good would it do to be truthful? Probably not a lot.

Are you having fun in Croatia though?

___

Spoty anon (tw- pet death)

I really need someone to talk to So I hope this is ok.

My childhood dog that we rescued when i was ca. 7, ( his name is Spoty) will probably die soon. Maybe even this night.

He doesn't eat, doesn't stand up and it's just showing. I feel really like I don't know what to do whitout him.

Sure he often was very loud but the house is now so empty even with our other dogs that I also love over everything. Last year my other dog (Aaron) that lived by my father also died and my other dog (Oscar)(also by my dad) will probably also go soon. I don't know how to feel, I know that he will be going without pain so atleast that but I am still so sad.

Since I was 8 I always had 4 dogs (since last year five(Khalil)) I grew up with these dogs, they were/are my friends when I had nobody.

I am just really sad and needed to let it our so thank you

Hi <3

I think people who don't have pets don't understand how devastating the death of a pet can be. Your grief is so valid, and I understand how lost you feel after losing an animal

Please remember to be gentle with yourself. You're allowed to grieve. And if you want to talk about any of your pets to me, please feel free to inbox me!

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crushed anon (new)

So recently I’ve been feeling bad, me and someone who has been my friend got in a fight and that “friend” got in contact with my mother and got her on her side. It crushed me that my own mother one of the most important people in my life would take the side of someone who I had repeatedly told her was mean if not evil to me. On top of that I’m set to move away from my friends to a new place in May. I really, really don’t want to go but it’s our only choice.

Hi <3

First, I'm sorry that your ex-friend did that. That's fucked up, and it but feel so overwhelming that your mom has taken her side too. And on top of that, moving? I can't imagine how scary that is.

As far as what to do from here-- first, remember that people care. Whether or not they act like it, they do. I do.

Second, try to write down things you're looking forward to. Even little things. Breakfast tomorrow, a movie coming out soon, taking a nap after school. ANYTHING. And then just tell yourself that you're going to get to that thing. Like if you're feeling overhwlemed, tell yourself you're looking forward to watching a movie tonight, and you only have to focus on getting to that movie. Nothing else. Once you get there, then give yourself a new little thing to get to. Small increments. Don't focus on the big picture.

And if you need it, my pinned post has a link for hotlines <3

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100% anon

hii its 100% anon

first off ilove my anon name lol, second thanks for answering my ask even though it was nothing<3

anyway i habe been questioning my sexuality for a while and im still nkt so sure

like i know that i like- no love women and i have no problem with being witha non-binary lerson but a man? nkt so sure bc i dnt immagin myself with one but sometime like im walking down the street and i see i guy and be like "damn hes beautiful" or something like that but still i sometimes feel ljke i need affirmation from the male gender if that makes sence?

ughhh its just so weird!

hope youre having an amazing day/night!!

Hi!

I mean, you can have different levels of attraction to different genders. That's perfectly valid, and a lot of people are like that!

As far as needing validation from men- from your last ask, I'm going to guess you're afab? Yeah, that's probably a societal thing. Afab people are taught from birth that we need validation from men, so that's a hard thing to unlearn. That can be different from being attracted to men, though.

[0scill4te]

.

The line between delusion and paranoia seems to be a very blurry one. i guess its a delusion when you believe it is ACTUALLY for certain 100% that it is actually happening and nothing else can prove otherwise.

i dont know though. can someone just genuinely be aware they are delusional? Simutaneously be scared its real while deep down you know your brain is just kind of crazy and prone to these things for whatever reason? Things like believing you are being keylogged by friends or coworkers? Or that someone deceased (that you knew) is watching you and reading your mind? Or thinking that whenever you chat with someone online, if you share art with them, they will use google to reverse search it and find you on other social media, so you end up deleting the art in fear? Shit like that. I know thats all crazy but for whatever reason I go through phases sometimes where I genuinely believe in these intricate, outlandish, unrealistic things and drug use always worsens it, Im not gonna lie. its why i try so hard to not let myself slip into daily use because its admittedly very easy too- drugs soften life a lot. But it also makes me really lose touch with reality more easily and its not good

I genuinely dont know. i still don't understand what was going on with me in august bc thats when i really reached a bad peak. Its what prompted me to delete my old blog even, i was having unfounded surveillance based fears (ex: thinking one specific coworker was stalking me online?) and felt like people were conspiring against me

i feel more normal these days. but i feel like it could happen again, and it does scare me. Life in general feels weird and I feel like my blog probably reflects that even. I try to contain all the weirdness to myself and not broadcast it so much. I private post most things.i want my blog to be a place where i can be genuine. But obviously oversharing in a public setting comes with its downfalls. I genuinely do feel like a "kooky" person.. like. Kind of ill, not all there sometimes.

I think I really just need to talk to my T. I get mini "hallucinations" too and everything in general just isnt feeling right, even vision wise. Things will feel okay for a few weeks then I slip into these headspaces and its confusing because its like.. maybe the "hallucinations" are merely a bottom-up processing issue, you know? like my brain falsely interpretting stimuli in my environment incorrectly. Iike I will see a cat for a split second but no, its just a towel on the ground. A disconnect between your eyes and your brain correctly interpretting the stimuli. Is that even a thing? I feel like it has to be. Occipital lobe stuff maybe, Idk.

But some things are just unexplainable. Like in the winter, I saw a mouse at my job crawl up the wall and slip inside this hole, and to this day still dont know if it was real or not. Because im so detached, it felt really fast and weird and dream-like, can mice even climb up walls that fast? When i was drunk recently with my roommate i saw an apparition in the kitchen in the corner of my eye, but only for a split second. And in July, i was high and saw an officer outside my fwbs car window , in great detail- a stern old man with a dark blue cap and I JUMPED. i was fucking terrified, it felt so real. I thought we were gonna get in trouble for trespassing. but a split second later, the cop was gone- aka not real.. no cop was there.

my therapist told me use less weed a few months ago and i think shes right- ive actively been trying to use it less and not daily anymore. I think I should see an optician to rule out if the "hallucinations" are maybe just a weird vision or brain thing. It could be a nutrient thing too- my vision in general feels.. weird. I feel like I sound like a hypochondriac with all of this but things just genuinely feel off and weird sometimes. Idk how to fix it and i always wonder if its normal or not but im terrified to get help for this stuff because its really weird and im scared doctors dont actually want to help and find the actual issue, they'll just label the vision stuff as a mental illness thing and throw antipsychotic meds at me.

[emulation-0]

i don’t go here but unpopular jojo opinions pls 🥰

i keep talking about part 5 but its the most controversial part imo cuz people just have such bad takes... anywayz bruno bucciarati is NOT a mom, im so sick of this joke. if their group HAD to have a team mom, then i guess it would be him but hes not because hes 20 fucking years old. i find the fanon parentification of him so weird, considering all his 'kids' are within four years of his age. i dont care if he had to grow up too fast. i dont care if he picked them up off the street. a 20 year old is not a 16 or 17 or 18 year old's parent at all !! and hes a gangster. idk why people dont understand that

i think people forget that while bucciarati did save them from a shitty life, he is also the one who introduced them to the mafia in the first place. yes, maybe he did help them altruistically at first, but they also showed promise, like abbacchio's police work and fugo's intellect. and i think this is most apparent with mista, who bucciarati went out of his way to meet because he heard of his marksmanship. mista may have been given a choice, ultimately, but this decision wasnt selfless in the first place, whether bucciarati was ordered to meet him or not.

and this is the same guy who allowed a fifteen year old into the mafia and followed his lead to overthrow the boss. i dont care that the coup wasnt what bucciarati may have imagined when he met giorno, i dont care if giorno is powerful or mature, thats still what happened. bucciarati is perfectly capable of being cold to his teammates and also trusts in them to make their own decisions because theyre in the MAFIA, which is their JOB. yes, he cares about them, but not in the way a parent or a guardian cares about their kid. theyre his friends and he is their leader, and that is how he cares about them. if he was their parental figure then he wouldnt have recruited them in the first place, and he wouldnt have trusted giorno, and none of part 5 would have happened.

so it pisses me off when people characterize him being all regretful and feeling guilty for recruiting them, or him being so anxious and scared for their wellbeing when they go out on their own for a job, or him coddling them all as if theyre not 2 and 3 and 4 years younger than him ??? i personally would not treat even my cousin who is 3 years younger than me like that because she can do whatever the fuck she wants? and thats not even when we're connected by a JOB that is inherently shitty and dangerous. so 'brumom' truthers SHUT UPPPP youre annoying !! and wrong !! and romanticizing something that shouldnt be romanticized !! go away !!

not gonna even mention the abbacchio dad jokes. just cuz hes one, ONE year older than bucciarati doesnt make him a dad !!! this guy willingly gave his piss to a teenager to drink and clowns on all of them. hes a hateful bitter alcoholic who finds amusement in other people's pain. idk what about that screams 'father figure who really cares about his kids' to you. he doesnt consider them his kids at all !! im sorry but its true !!!

also bruabba is lame. there i said it. i guess if i HAD to ship them with anyone it would be with each other but honestly very lame, uninspired, and wholly uninteresting. overdone dynamic. no one (me, but my opinion is the one that matters) cares

[tandytoaster]

Ngl this Christmas season kinda sucked. Like a lot

Me complaining lol

Nanny making light of how my mother almost died. Like my mom forgets something and nanny is like "oh lol its because you had a brain aneurysm" and on one hand i understand joking about something fucked up that happened to you and the scenario of your daughter being inches from death would seriously fuck you up but i don't know i just don't think its funny. I dont think its her thing to joke about. Nanny and I are on complete opposite sides of this like shes like "lol my daughter almost died. Tee hee" and I'm like. Forever altered for the worse by this

Omg. She had a moment back in September where she wasn't telling Steve stuff and he flipped out at her like cursing at her and screaming. I can't remember if I talked about this I feel like I might have. But like HE called me that day and was like, "hey uhhh idk if u were talking to ur grandmother or not but i kinda freaked out on her earlier and i feel bad about it and i wanted to tell u my side of the story because we've been talking more and i really appreciate that" and i was like 🤏👓🤨 EXCUSE ME? Not actually but i was thinking it. And then that night or the night after nanny called me and telling me the same thing, that steve flipped out at her and she was like "omg. I don't think I'll ever think of him the same. i dont care if i ever speak to him again" and all i could do was be like, "ok. yeah." Because why is THIS. Where you draw the line why do you decide to hate him when he's mean to you but you still talk to him despite the shit he did to me. Like all I could think was "i dont give a damn" like truly i dont lol. I dont care that steve yelled at you. Like daaaammmnnnn thats craaazzyyyyy he yelled at you? Omg? Should we cancel him? Should we write a callout post? LMFAOOOOO

She's also like 100% fine with him again. Joking about her saying she was gonna chop his dick off because whe was so upset with how he spoke to her.

Thats so funny that you wanted to chop his dick off over him yelling at you. and not anything else. that would warrant having his dick chopped off.

I have to live this shit ass game of pretend for the rest of my life. I fought against this for 5 years and nothing changed. No one cares. No one wants to think about it. Its a battle I've lost, I lost it the moment it started I truly never had a chance. But I tried. And I failed. And I tried. And I failed. And I tried. And I failed. So I'm done. They win. I'll never ever say it didn't happen, BECAUSE IT DID, but I'm just never going to acknowledge it again to them just like everyone else. I'm sorry if that makes me a shitty survivor or whatever .

Also nanny is just . Overly excitable when company comes over and she gets like. Too ready to tease. Like shes just slinging jabs at anyone and everyone in her way. Like all my life my mother would tell me that nanny is awful and that she treated her like the black sheep of the family and i see it. I know that I for sure have it better than my mom, which is a damn shame, but like. Fuck dude idk!!!

And nanny is just weird. She puts garbage in with clean stuff and calls it tidying and she laughs when someone tells her thats not right, and when they're like, "no, seriously, do not do that" she goes, "well i guess i can't do anything!" And then she fake laughs to try to seem like she's not mad but she is mad. That someone told her not to actively damage her surroundings

Reading this I'm realizing its literally just nanny being weird. Nanny moments.

I baked a butterscotch pie for her and Sacha and nanny told me to put it in the basement because its cold down there, so i did and she FORGOT ABOUT IT!!!! FOR DAYS!!!!!! i made it on the 23, it finished setting on the 24th, she forgot about it until today, the 28th, brought it up from the basement at 12pm, and nanny forgot about it Again until 5pm. So it was sitting at room temp for 5 hours. She was like, "yeah it tastes different" I FUCKING WONDER WHY?

Its just a really difficult, stressful and time consuming thing to make and to have it be forgotten about when I work hard using the little energy I have to make it, it hurts ! I don't have any money to buy anything for anyone not even my girlfriend, so thats why I bake 😔 Man usually I'm not passive aggressive but dude. Nanny was like, "do u think its still good" and i was like, "well lets just eat it and see what happens if we get sick we get sick 🙃"

[wizisbored]

This is a free pass to ramble about Weird Horses as coherently and as long as desired

content warnings for: slavery, emotional manipulation, abuse

OKAY SO idk how much of this ive already said but fuck it ill say it again. ive been kinda hesitant to say too much about all this since its further in the future of the fic than id usually share and a lot of it is still undecided, but i cant really say much about where astrid is at age 15 without talking about where lydias story is going, so if you dont want 10 paces spoilers dont read this.

first off, ive decided i am folding the centaur astrid stuff into 10 paces. still ironing out some of that combination but it just comes down to the fact that im way more interested in this than where i was originally going with 10 paces.

so when lydia is around 16, beetlejuice makes a netherborne-esque Bad Financial Decision. hes gotten attatched to this filly hes been taming, and doesnt particularly want to train her to junos standards and then sell her, so instead he figures out some sort of payment plan with juno to buy her himself. unsure if beetlejuice lives on junos ranch and lydia stays there or if he lives elsewhere and shes moved, but even if she is its just to another small paddock.

beetlejuices ultimate goal is to have lydia be a bucking horse, but centaur bucking involves some acrobatics that requires training, so in the meantime to make the money to keep her beetlejuice forces her into some sort of manual labour job. currently im thinking shes hauling lumber, because that way on one end of the journey she occasionally, briefly sees her dad (now a logging horse) and on the other end ends up in a town where i can have her run into the maitlands. originally i was going to have her be a logging horse too, but i gotta get the maitlands in there.

but anyway, for a few years lydias life is mostly this unchanging blur where shes being subjected to social isolation and constant emotional manipulation from beetlejuices continued taming efforts. she trauma bonds to him hard. logically she still knows hes her captor and the one isolating and working her, but hes also the only reliable source of comfort in her day to day. cant really logic her way out of latching onto that.

when shes around 18-20, beetlejuice makes irresponsible decision 2 and for some reason i am yet to concieve of starts leaving lydia alone and unsupervised with a young stallion she gets along well with. lydia and richard have a good but short relationship before beetlejuice realises his fuckup, and by the time he seperates them shes pregnant. she and beetlejuice figure it out around the same time, she panics, he probably goes and bangs his head against a wall for letting that happen. centaurs having foals is something their captors generally try to avoid, because a baby centaur is a gangly uncordinated mess that needs a lot of feeding. basically just a 15-year money sink, from a business perspective.

centaur pregnancies last around a year, and lydias mental health doesnt exactly improve during it. then astrid is born, and lydia loves her wobbly little sentient set of legs of a child but is woefully inequipped to look after her. while astrid is young shes allowed to tag along with lydia at work, which includes when beetlejuice finally gets lydia trained for bucking and takes her to a rodeo. lydia actually finds it quite cathartic, but while lydia is bucking astrid is left alone in their holding pen backstage. the noise and bustle and not understanding where her mum went is a lot for a young foal, so she ends up with a lifelong hatred of being there that she refuses to admit is anywhere close to fear.

lydia and astrids relationship is... strained? they love each other. theres a lot of evenings looking at the stars together and lydia does her best to pass on her herds folklore and braiding traditions. when astrid is old enough, beetlejuice gives them a set of brushes so they can mutually groom. lydia has kicked beetlejuice at least once, probably more, for just approaching astrid. but as ive said, shes in no state to be raising a child alone. being in the conditions she has since age 15 means shes kinda immature, doesnt know how to interact with other centaurs, and knows nothing about looking after foals. shes still struggling to grow out of being a scared, grieving teenager. shes aware of this and has no idea how to fix it, and especially compared to her own mother feels pretty inadequete. it doesnt help that astrids coat pattern looks a lot like emilys, so that comparison is constantly staring her in the face. plus, astrid isnt exactly the easiest kid given shes in the process of being messed up by the same conditions that fucked lydia up in the first place.

they argue a fair bit, and a lot of it comes from a lack of communication. obviously lydia is hesitant to give astrid all the details of her abuse, and by the time astrid is 15 lydia still doesnt want to tell her she was the same age when this started. lydia never lied, but she left gaps that astrid filled in for herself. she assumes that lydia losing her mum and being kidnapped were years apart, and she was an adult when she was taken. she doesnt know that she was isolated and emotionally manipulated for years as a grieving teenager, and then broken down over months of training. so she sees her mothers trauma bond with their slaver and dull acceptance of dragging lumber around and wonders why she doesnt fight this. she just wants her mother to fight for them.

im not entirely sure about beetlejuice and astrids relationship. he was initially pretty annoyed by her general existance, since a centaur foal is a money sink, but once she started showing the same attitude that drew him to lydia in the first place he warmed up to her. hes been trying to raise her to be tame, which makes me think astrids relationship to him is probably less plain hatred and more the complicated feelings someone might have towards an abusive parent. an important detail that comes from this though is that being raised around demons means that astrids english comprehension is near perfect. she cant speak it, centuars mouthes and vocal cords just dont allow for it, but she understands it.

astrid has met her dad at least once, but not a lot more than that, and always by chance. beetlejuice isnt about to end up with another foal so astrid and lydia are never left in the same pen as richard, but the kid has been passed over a fence when the demons arent looking so she can hug her dad before. obviously this means her relationship with him isnt as close as in canon, but it also means she idolises him a bit. in reality richard probably wouldnt be in much of a better position to raise her than lydia, but the short bursts astrid gets with him where hes elated to see her are a lot more positive than the day to day with her mother, so its easy to build him up in her head.

so with astrid at 15 we come to the challenge i have made for myself - making jeremy interesting. this has involved removing any romantic aspects of his and astrids relationship because i do not care. hes probably a teen satyr, maybe a teen demon, making some money working backstage at a rodeo when he comes across a stressed looking centaur filly pacing around a small holding pen, waiting for her bronc mother to come back. he knows who she is, and specifically that shes captive-born. which is significant to him because hes interested in centuar linguistics in a very normal and ethical way, and most centaurs who werent exposed to english until they were teens or adults will have a notably worse grasp on it than one raised around it. astrid is unsure of him at first, but is quickly just happy to have someone her age to hang out with and is extatic when he offers to teach her to read and write. lydia taught her to read and write centaur script in mud, but neither of them are literate in english. lydia has a bad feeling about this, and astrid is annoyed that she cant just appreciate how valuable a skill this is for them. because surely jeremy has no ulterior motives right. he would never.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

man ok idk if youll be able to advise on this or something but like. do you know anything regarding dealing with like internalised ableism?

i live in a rural part of ireland, right? and idk what it is about rural ireland but some of the people are heinous. my school is in a small miserable-ass town and like. God, man. not everyone sucks, of course but like. jesus lol additionally i have a ~mildly ableist~ mother (a "we're all a little bit autistic" and "erm. youre not disabled because youre not in a wheelchair or blind/deaf" etc etc type stuff. + "npd = bad person" which isnt particularly good for me specifically because i have npd (that i both Cant get an official diagnosis for, for various reasons, and im not really Looking for one either because i know what i am and its not like you get support for it because ~ooh scary narcissist~.)

and like. idk if this is Obvious but that can kinda cause a weird-ass relationship with You (being Me in this case, yk how it is with the second person perspective when. ranting) and The Concept Of Being Disabled. like, objectively. im disabled. im autistic, ive definitely got adhd (that im hopefully going to get examined for at some point cause college stuff requires it for the disability forums and stuff. gotta love that. fuckin 80% comorbidity right?), ive got a laughable number of repetative strain injuries, i have a sensory processing disorder, an endocrine disease that effects my Entire cardiovascular system, a spine that felt a lil quirky and bent in too much. so on a so forth

but also like. it feels wrong to call myself disabled. yk, like im doing a disservice to all the other ~actually~ disabled people (being Anyone but me lol) (none of this is At All helped by the fact that my mother refuses to listen to me regarding Jack Shit about my health in Any way. "oh you nearly passed out on top of a hill because of your cardiovascular condition? erm youre just not exercising enough actually" "you dont have depression [said while i was filling out an assigned mood diary after being forcefully brought to camhs for Reasons" like. shut the fuck up and Listen to me please. at least Entertain the idea that i could be right about something for fucking once lmao. cause ive been right about EVERYTHING regarding my mental health so fucking far so. fuck off /nay ofc) (also man. like, even if you ignored the physical issues ive got im still disabled on account of being autistic. like, motor function is fine, despite being a lil clumsy and/or unsteady sometimes but like. my emotional needs are Fucked. think of the response youd get if you asked a. fuckin. 8 year old or something to do algebra. but with a very emotionally stunted and traumatised 17 year old lol. lmao, even /lh)

so like. if youve got. any advice or whatever on any of this thatd be Super cool + no pressure obvs. sorry this is a whole. like. fucking essay's worth of Random Guy Complaining To You On The Internet lol

-🐢 <- just so i can find this again if you respond. i Like Turtles. i am Normal about the tmnt and also turtles The Creatures. i wont talk at length about turtle mutant anatomy (i am deceiving you)

Internalised ableism is a really hard thing to deal with, especially when you're surrounded by people who constantly re-enforce it. I've also spent a lot of time worrying that I'm not disabled 'enough' to deserve certain accommodations, that I'm making an unnecessary fuss. But the truth is, autism IS a disability and if there are accommodations that can help support you, you deserve access to them. You're not taking away from others with disabilities by advocating for yourself.

It's taken me a long time to understand this and I still worry sometimes. What has helped is talking about my experiences with people I know understand, like my therapist or best friend, and learning about the experiences of other autistic people through books, social media, YouTube and even real life.

I'm sorry your mother and others aren't being understanding - remember that's a them problem, not you, and try to spend your time with people who do understand.

🐢🐢🐢 <- the turtles wish you luck

[undertale-outcode-imagines]

Idk if your taking requests but-

I read the energy drink one and loved it! Can you do one that's like,

The Bad Senses, and Ivy, Have an S/O that love energy drinks and is tired 24/7 and the energy drinks don't do anything?

(I drink 3+ energy drinks a day, and they don't give me energy I just like the flavor-)

sorry this took so long, ideas haven't been flowing as nicely recently :c hope this is okay! :3

Killer: energy drinks don't do much for him either, so he gets it. He also loves the flavour, so believe me when i say your energy drinks are getting Stolen, i mean it. he does also judge you for your flavour choices- if he hates a flavour you love, he will be jokingly making fun of you for the next month.

Dust: He relies on coffee and energy drinks to keep him awake at any given moment in time, so he is utterly baffled that they don't effect you. like, scientifically he knows why they dont, but he simply doesn't understand it. he does enjoy that your unaffected-ness allows for more Sleepy Cuddles(tm), though

Nightmare: He is... mildly confused as to why you consume energy drinks, as he hates the flavour, but he's just accepted it as his life now. he does memorize your favourite flavours and makes sure the fridge is constantly stocked with it. He also buys you all the new flavours whenever they come out, before you even ask.

Horror: he gets it, he really does (no he doesn't) but he just doesn't understand consuming energy drinks if not for the energy. he also lives in constant fear that that the energy drinks might kill your appetite and that your tiredness is something wrong with you, so despite reassurance otherwise he Worries. he tries to limit your consumption of energy drinks and help you maintain a healthier sleep schedule at first, but his anxiety fades as time goes on. he still worries, occasionally, but he tries not to get Weird about your energy drink consumption.

Cross: He loves energy drinks for the flavour too, but when he's given caffeine he gets incredibly hyper so he can't drink them. he's endlessly jealous of you, and steals tiny sips from your drinks sometimes. he would kill to be a teenager again and be able to chug them like they're water, lmao

Ivy: They tried one of your energy drinks once, in an attempt at getting into your interests, and proceeded to spend ten minutes washing their mouth out. They hate them. With a burning passion. they do enjoy that your non-hyper-ness allows for sleepy cuddles though, and tries to trust your judgement about whether or not drinking them is unhealthy.

[thatbennybee]

Viva and Branch are kinda weird to me i feel like they get along only in one front and thats safety they both kinda have a similar story in terms of They Saw Their loved one leave them behind or die in front of them and they both in some terms secluded themselves but Viva seemed happy with it seeing how her colors aren’t muted or anything if anything as we saw she is still like Poppy

Branch was secluded by his choice and he was miserable while Viva was happy in her own little cage yet seeing them interact (while just for a little) i don’t really see how they get along outside of probably paranoia

If i can put it in words lets say Branch and Viva can both do Ballet Street Style lets say Viva and Branch (Grey) both do it perfectly but stay in a spot not letting them go and move but when Branch got his colors he uses more space being more free while Viva stays still (if that makes any sense)

Idk i just dont feel like Viva fits sure i love Poppy has family but i hate that she’s… there like she was added like last minute

No... Viva definitely fits, she was just rushed. Viva is a parallel to Poppy in the same way that JD is a parallel to Branch. ☝️🤓 It's quite clear she is.

Viva is the result of not having someone like Branch in her life to make her see that her way of life, while temporarily effective in keeping other safe, was still not being free nor happy. JD is the result of what Branch would be like without meeting someone like Poppy. Someone who was headstrong enough to change their worldviews. Viva and JD didn't have that person.

The whole point of Branch and Viva having that one candid moment was important.

We have no idea if Viva was grey at some point or not, but regardless, that's not a fair point because the entire Pop Village went great for a short period of time and they're all fully vibrant, including Poppy. Branch was grey for like 20 years and has permanent effects from it, big difference.

Viva could've been grey and just gained them back like anyone else. I don't see how that's a point. 🤔

Moving on—

Branch wears his heart on his sleeve and openly talks about the bad things in the world, Viva hides hers so she doesn't have to think about the bad things and forces herself to think only about the good.

Poppy does the same thing in Trolls 1 and tried to force positivity through Trolls 2 and both times, it backfired. The difference is that Poppy had negative reinforcers that changed her behavior and thought process, while Viva was somewhat given positive reinforcers to stay where she was.

By that, I mean that she believed that hiding and staying that way would keep them safe. It was effective, yes, but she wasn't growing or changing because she was essentially proven correct. Meanwhile Poppy had a mindset that only worked within her sheltered bubble of life, but when her worldview was challenged, she had no idea how to handle it and choked.

Viva chokes too when they all leave her and her worldview is shattered when told that life outside isn't how she remembered it.

Branch is pretty candid when talking to viva and how he heavily relates to her, but shows her that there's other ways for her to grow. I don't see how Branch healing mentally would make it so Branch & Viva couldn't get along.

I think having someone who understands your fears better than anyone else world actually make it easier for them to bond and for Viva to heal in a way that is healthier than refusing to talk about it.

Branch and Viva could bond in ways other than safety, it's quite clear that Branch has no problems being silly or having a good time when he wants to.

He literally says it directly to Viva that he used to fear the world like she does, but he doesn't anymore. He's not that same person overly obsessed with safety and fear of the unknown. He just knows when it's a time to be serious and when isn't and he can take it easy.

Poppy has learned this lesson herself considering how she was quick to see that Viva wasn't being serious and focusing when asking her important questions. Viva just didn't really get the air time to learn the right lesson and it sucks. :[

Anyways, Branch having a level head and having a more serious approach than his peers doesn't mean he can't just have a good time and I feel like that could actually be a really good lesson for Viva to learn. You can want everyone to be safe, but also know when to reel it back and see that everything will be okay.

I think him and Viva would get along really well once she stops putting on the persona of being overly happy when she's not and is honest about what she's been through. I think he'd be able to find creative and familiar ways to bring her back into Pop Troll society without overwhelming her. They're all survivalists after all. :]