#and sort of the ask and response i did from earlier

[historical-fashion-polls]

another follower celebration?

hello my loves! 💕

I come to you with both good and bad news today

bad news first: we have just over 10 flower children polls left, at which time they shall all return to the gardens and fields from whence they came to continue bringing joy and whimsy to all those they meet

good news: in the meantime, we have hit 2k (!!!! 🤯🤯) and I would love to do another celebration for you all to say thank you!!

my plan is as follows: I've had a number of requests to do earlier fashion periods, and for a lot of reasons, I have limited myself to primarily commercial fashion plates/fashion illustrations (more on that here) and thus the images that I personally source for the blog don't go much further back than the mid-1700s (more on that here). HOWEVER, for our 2k celebration, I will be temporarily lifting some of those restrictions and expanding the time period of the blog!! 🥰🥰

two caveats:

sourcing these types of images takes more time and effort, so I will not be able to keep this up indefinitely (esp since I'm starting my phd program in the fall), but as I get things sorted for the celebration I'll let y'all know how long I'll be personally sourcing images from a more expansive time period and a broader range of sources

you are always welcome to submit images from earlier periods!! I just have to be realistic about what I can personally do in terms of research and sourcing for the blog, but if you have older images you want to see featured, you can send them in at any time!! (all info on submitting images can be found in my pinned post! ☺️)

but now onto what I'm best at: a poll!! I'd like to know what you all would most like to see and what areas I should focus on, so if you have thoughts, please vote in the poll below and let me know! also, some of these responses are vast ranges of time, so if you have a specific year/decade/century within one of the options, please do let me know via tags, comments, asks, etc. 🥰 also I cannot promise that I will be able to find usable images for all of these periods – I mostly want to gauge interest before I go looking for potential images to use ☺️

and yes I did use art historical classifications, please don't judge me it's what makes most sense to my brain 😅🫣

if there is a lot of interest in a specific time period, I'll likely run some more specific polls to narrow in on some key moments of interest, but please do let me know any specific things you might like to see! ☺️

[miizuzu]

part 3, just a friendly reminder that im no writer and my english is very questionable...mdni ...

“Xavier, Wake up. You're going to catch a cold if you keep sleeping like this.” You were nudging his arm. When you realized you couldn’t get a response, you tried to get off his bed to look for your undergarments that Xavier randomly flinged everywhere. You were thinking to yourself to not give him the chance to undress you anymore. His arms caught you, pulling you back towards himself. “Where are you going?” he mumbles while his eyes are still closed but his eyebrows furrow. “I’m trying to get dressed. And you should too.” You tried to wiggle out of his arms but his strength is stronger, even with him being half asleep.

“Your phone kept going off, you should check it.” You playfully pinched Xavier on his cheeks, “Come on, Xavier, get up~~~ Good boys will get rewarded.” His ears flinched at your words, eyes opened and sat up in one smooth motion. “Yes my lady. Right away!” He rolls out of bed and starts looking for his phone. You couldn’t help but blush while seeing his perfect physics. “Maybe you should cover yourself while you're at it.” You had your hands covering your eyes. He couldn’t help but chuckle at how cute you are acting. 

He found his boxers and pants and slipped it on, he also found your bra and panties. Which he did not want to hand over. He only gave in after you pouted at him. You went to grab the hoodie after putting on your bra and panties but could not find the sweatpants which he secretly kicked under the bed. You figured that you were mostly covered, so you didn’t chase him for another pair. 

Xavier finally found his phone and checked on the notifications, to his dismay, he has been assigned to a different area than you. “Jenna asked me to go on a special assignment. I will have to be away for a few days.” He hasn't even left yet but is already missing being around with you. “I’m sure you will have no issue handling everything.” You walked behind him and hugged him from behind. “But I guess your reward will have to wait.” He placed his hand on top of your arm and rubbed circles, “I guess I got something to look forward to when I get back.” He smiles gently.

“I guess I should just go home now, you still have to pack for your trip.” Your uniform is now clean and dried. You release his waist, but he turns around and hugs you instead. “Could you just stay the night?” he whines. You know if you stay, he will have a harder time leaving tomorrow. “I don’t want you to be late. The mission must be important if they are sending you. I’ll be waiting for your return, so stay safe.” 

It took a while but you finally convinced him to let you go. You got back to your apartment, you took Xavier’s hoodie with you, another trophy of sorts. You went to the bathroom and wiped yourself off with a towel, trying to avoid the bandages around your thigh. You blushed to yourself remembering the sensation Xavier gave you earlier in the day. You shook your head to get your mind out of the gutter, grabbed a small bite to eat and headed for bed. 

Seems you will have some free time to yourself for a few days, with Xavier going on a different assignment, Zayne having his usual appointments and surgeries lined up, and Rafayel going away for his exhibition. You felt lonely for the first time in a while, but managed to sleep through the night.

Work was easy today, there were no reports of attacks and no one needed to be dispatched. You were just in the headquarters writing reports when you received a phone call from Thomas. “Hello Thomas? Is something the matter?” you questioned since Rafayel should be on his way to his exhibition. “Hey Y/N, has Rafayel called you? He hasn't answered his phone the whole day. I’m already at the hotel we are supposed to stay at and he has not checked in yet.” Thomas always calls you when Rafayel goes off the grid.”I’ll be off soon, I will go check the studio later.” “Thank you Y/N, you are the only one I can depend on.”

You headed over to Rafayel’s house, his car was still in the garage. You started ringing the doorbell and when that didn’t work, you banged on the door. “Rafayel? Are you home?” You heard a sound of dishes breaking and you panicked. “Rafayel! Are you ok?” Realizing he will not get the door, you ran around his house and noticed an opened window and you climbed in. It was the window in his studio, the whole place is a mess with paint laying everywhere. You quickly took your boots off and left them next to the window. 

“Rafayel! Where are you?” you speed around the house looking for him. You finally found him, laying on his couch by the window on the second floor, one arm hanging on the back of the couch and one leg hanging off. His face is all red and he seems to be having problems breathing. “Rafayel!!” you ran to him, worried. “What happened? Are you not feeling well? Should I take you to the hospital?” You bombarded him with questions. 

“I’m fine, just feeling a little under the weather. I will be back to normal soon.” he tried to play it off as nothing. You were worried and wanted to make sure he was actually fine. “Is there anything you want me to do? How can I help?” “Water…, can you get me some water?” Rafayel weakly asked. “Yes, I’ll go grab some, just hang tight.”

You ran to the kitchen and grabbed a cup and filled it with water, before going back to Rafayel, you decided to text Thomas to tell him Rafayel is not well and will not be able to get to the exhibit. Thomas was relieved and said he understands before asking you to watch after him, he thanked you again for your help.

You rushed back upstairs with the cup of water only to find Rafayel had rolled off the couch and landed facing down on the floor. You put the cup down and quickly rushed over and helped him back up. “Are you sure you are fine? How are you this weak?” You placed your hand on his forehead and he feels like he's burning up. Shocked by the heat, you wanted to check his temperature and activated the scanner on your hunter’s watch. “Signs normal” the watch rings, ‘How is he normal??’ you questioned your watch. 

“Y/N, I’m fine~~ stop being such a worry ward. You should go home, don’t worry about me.” he tries to say playfully. “How can I not worry? I am your girlfriend aren’t I? Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong with you?” You shouted and tears of frustration filled your eyes. Rafayel hears you holding back sobs, and he feels terrible. “I don’t to scare you.” he says, “Well you are scaring me right now!” you snapped back. “I mean, I don’t want you to be scared of what I really am.” he replies.

“What do you mean what you really are…?” you tried to calm down but still wanted answers. “I’m not Human, Y/N. Once a year, my kind would become weak and vulnerable, and when the day is over, I will be back to normal. I just don’t want you to see me as a monster.” he finally confessed. You’ve heard about this before, Lemurian, an ancient race of mermaids who would become weak on that one special day. Humans would hope to catch a Lemurian in their weakened state and tell them to make a profit. “Rafayel, are you… a Lemurian?” 

“...... Yes. Are you scared of me now?” He stares into your eyes, he wanted to reach for you but was too weak to move. The sun was setting, and the room was starting to get dim. There was something forming on his face, it was blueish and glittering, like shiny fish scales, reflecting whatever light there is left. He looks absolutely stunning, you could hardly take your eyes off of him. “I would never be scared of you,

You will always be my Rafayel.” You reassure him as you rub his cheeks  tenderly. He purrs to your touch, for someone that is actually Lemurian, he sure is acting more like a cat. 

He was so glad that you accepted him for what he is, and even called him yours. He can't control his smirk on his face. You know he would have jumped you if he was his normal healthy self. You decided to tease him a bit. You lean closer to him, breathing in his ears, “You are my adorable little fishie. Right?” “Yes, my love. I’m all yours.” His face was red and looked so sexy. You wanted to tease him some more but ended up getting flustered. “I’m going to go to the kitchen and find you something to eat.” 

You ran downstairs because you didn't want Rafayel to see your lustful face. He was giving off some vibes that are making you lose control. You walked past the studio and without paying attention, knocked over a bucket of paint Rafayel left sitting on the ladder. He heard the rattling downstairs and was trying to ask you what happened but his voice was too weak. 

“Umm, Rafayel? I’m going to need to borrow your shower…” you embarrassingly walk back upstairs with paint covered ⅔ of your uniform and body. Rafayel couldn't help but laugh at your clumsiness. He was fine with you using his showers and even told you where you can find a change of clothes, temporarily for when you put your uniform in the wash. 

You walked into his closet, which was almost as big as your room. And found the location he told you about and opened the drawers. You couldn't believe your eyes. There were so many female outfits from gowns to fancy undergarments. Your heart sank for a moment. Yes, he is rich, he must have had other partners before you, but you can't help but feel a knot in your stomach. You took something in there and went into the showers. 

Rafayel wanted to check on you but he does not have the strength, he tried walking back to his bedroom and he collapsed half way, he is trying to drag himself there, crawling on the floor. You got out of the shower and came to his rescue. He was panting like he ran a marathon. His eyes closed trying to catch his breath. You helped him onto his bed, that's when he finally noticed you chose a set of red lingerie, panties with a laced bra in a see through dress. 

His eyes almost jumped out of his sockets, why, or how could you wear that when he was so weak he couldn't even lift his fingers properly. He was clearly fascinated and upset at the same time, his pupils were dilated but you could see them shiny. He stares at you with those primal eyes, and you feel like he's trying to set what little clothes you have on fire. 

“My love… How could you do this to me? Wearing something this beautiful on a day I couldn’t do anything… you're so cruel.” He yelps as he pants. “Was this something your ex-girlfriend left behind?” your questions with a hint of bitterness to your voice, gave Rafayel a hard on. You slowly ran your hands up Rafayel’s thighs and continued “Are you this turned on from seeing me wear something someone else left behind?” Rafayel lets out a painful moan as you squeeze his upper thigh. “No… My love… I just…” he tried to keep his darting eyes on you, overwhelmed with pleasure. “Are you picturing her face with me in front of you?” You were frustrated, down right angry. So full of jealousy and you can't control yourself, you hate what you're saying but words keep coming out of your mouth. 

“Y/N.” You flinched as Rafayel called your name. You stare straight into his eyes. “You are the only one I ever let in my bedroom. I bought all those hoping one-day you would wear them for me. I just didn't expect it to be today, when I don't even have the strength to touch you.” Your overpowering demeanor crumbled in seconds, and is now filled with an overwhelming amount of embarrassment. You tried to run but Rafayel managed to grab onto you with all the power he had left.

“Don't go.” He begged. He loved that you got jealous over a girl that never existed, the only reason you would get so mad was because you loved him. “I'm so sorry Rafayel. I have this ugly jealousy.” You started sobbing while hiding behind your free arm. “You are the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on, you are always pretty. How about you make it up to me? I have no strength left but my bro down there is begging for release. Could you help me?” He placed your palm on his twitching bulge. 

You nodded your head, pulling down his pants along with his boxers and his cock springs free. You were laying belly down between his legs, your face was inches away from the pulsing length. You reached for it and poked the head, it was a pretty color of pink. You could see veins throbbing, already leaking from the tip, twitching with need. “Please touch me, I need more.” Rafayel whines and begs. “I’ve… never done this, I don't know if I can help you feel good.” you are shy but you want to touch him, you just don't want to make him more uncomfortable.

His face is gleaming hearing you are willing to do this for him and with him being the first of the 3. There is a huge smirk on his face. “Don't worry my love, I will guide you through, just listen to my voice.” hearing him say that made you feel hot, you're now burning with desire to not let him down. “First, I need you to wrap your hands around me.” You eagerly complied. “My god…your hands are soft…I might not last very long…” he bites his lower lip and closes his eyes, trying to focus on our touch. “Now, tighten your grip a bit, MMM just like th-that…'' he is now breathing through his mouth, panting and moaning each breath. Your eyes were glued to his facial expressions, it was a mix of pleasure and pain, you can't help but think about how pretty he looks. “Now… slowly stroke your hands up and down for me.” You were starting to pant as well as your hands slowly moved up and down his rock hard cock. You slowly increase the speed of your hand movements, and you could feel Rafayel thrusting up his hips to meet your tempo. “I'm close, my love, you're gonna make me cum.” His breathing is much heavier, finally opening his eyes to stare passionately into yours’. “Hah..hah…MMM this feels so good. I'm cu-cumming!” He releases a heavy load with most of it landing on your face. 

“You are… so damn beautiful, you are lucky I can't move a muscle.” You thought about wiping your face with a kleenex, but another idea springs to mind. You used one of your hands to guide the cum on your face into your mouth, you let out a soft moan as you pushed all the salty, slimy texture into your lips, Rafayel was just watching you in awe with his beautiful blue-pink eyes, not even blinking for a second. You left your mouth open and swished the liquid around your tongue and finally closed your mouth and swallowed. 

“Shit! You can't do this, haa…you're not playing nice. I want to make you feel good too…” Rafayel whines, but his energy has long been spent. You can see he could hardly keep his eyes open. “I'll get you back.” He taunts you before succumbing to his sleepiness. 

You took your phone and decided to take a picture of Rafayel’s peaceful sleeping face. You made it his contact picture. He looks like an angel, but you were sure once he regains his strength he will become the devil. A part of you looking forward to it? You weren't sure if he was actually going to be better like he said, or if he was just saying it so you won't worry. You decided to text Jenna, asking her if you could work from home if there was just paperwork to be done. Jenna texted you back ‘That is fine, your primary physician actually sent us a note to keep you off the field for a while, that was why you were on paperwork duty. Xavier also insisted, if we didn't know any better, it would seem like you got lift threatening injuries.’ 

You couldn't help but feel thankful to Zayne and Xavier for watching out for you. Even though you thought it would be fine to go into the field. But you decided that you shouldn't make them both worry about you. You laid beside Rafayel, his arm rests under your neck. You felt tired from all the excitement you had earlier and fell asleep on his arm. 

When morning arrives, Rafayel wakes up thinking it was all a feverish dream, only to realize you stayed the night and are peacefully sleeping tugged in his blanket next to him. He still couldn't believe it was real, until he lifted his blanket and saw you in the red see-through lingerie. His face becomes red from ear to ear in an instant and he covers you up again. 

A wicked idea comes to his mind. He reached for his cellphone and took a selfie with you covered except your face. And he then sent a text in the group chat. “I win.” Without explanation. He wanted to send the picture as well but he stopped himself knowing you would get mad at him if he actually does. 

He lifted up the cover once more to admire your beauty, he was brushing your hair behind your ears when he saw the hickey at your neck. ‘Which one of the bastards did it? How dare they mark you before I get the chance?!’ Rafayel thought to himself. He felt jealous, pouting. He lightly tipped you on your back and pulled his arm out from under you. 

Rafayel sits up and runs both his hands all over you. So gently that it felt ticklish. You tried to swat away whatever was tickling you. Rayafel took it to offense and pinned your hands beside your head and lowered his lips over the hickey and sucked on your skin like his life depended on it. Your eyes widened, shocked at the sudden pressure on your sensitive skin. “Ahh!?…Rafayel?! What are you doing?” You tried to struggle your hands free but to no avail. You were glad that Rafayel got his strength back but now you're worried what he would do from all the teasing you did to him the night before. 

He finally released you from his lips, he had overlapped Xavier's mark with his own and he was now satisfied and proud of it. He was so focused on leaving you the mark he didn't even notice you waking up and questioning him. His eyes finally traveled up to your face and realized you woke up. “Oh hey you, finally awake?” his hands are still pinning you down but his face now hovers over yours. You feel shy thinking back on all the things you said to him, really hoping he didn't remember anything that happened the night before. 

“...Good morning Rafayel, how are you feeling?” You asked him, trying hard to not look flustered. “I feel great” he is running his eyes all over the features of your face. “You did so well, taking care of me, and all my needs.” His long eyelashes eyes stares right into your soul. You feel your face burning, you want him to back up but wasn’t sure what you could do or say. You could only think of one thing. You lifted your head up and kissed him. 

He backed up as you planned, even letting go of one of your hands to try and cover his blushing face. “You know you've been very courageous since last night. Are you ready for the consequences?” Oh no, he remembers, and but the sound of it, payback is on its way. 

Rafayel intertwined his fingers with yours with the hand he was holding you down, while with his other hand his index lands on your lips and travels down your body. His finger has reached your belly and paused before traveling lower again. “So, has anyone…explored this part of you yet?” You could hear in his tones he has mixed feelings, still hoping he could be your first. It was too embarrassing to tell him so all you could do was nod. 

He let out a long sigh, he felt defeated with a hint of anger. “Did you 2……” you know what he was about to ask you as he pouts. “No.” you confirmed. Rafayel breathes a sigh of relief. “So what DID he do?” Rafayel asked as his finger ran circles around your clit. “Did his fingers feel good?” You were too embarrassed to answer him, you kept shaking your head. “No? Did it not feel good or did he not use his hands?” His fingers now go down your folds, teasing your entrance. “Ngh! No…” you breathe heavy. “No, what? You have to tell me my love. You will get your reward when you do.” He moves his hand away, and you gasped at his sudden withdrawal. “No! Don't stop! Rafayel please…Xavier…used his mouth…” you turned your face away after finally confessing.

“When did my love become so needy?” What Rafayel asked got you speechless, when did you become so shameless? You feel upset about yourself. You're holding your breath, biting on your bottom lip so hard a droplet of blood came rolling down. Rafayel sees you and cups your cheeks, “My love, please relax. I didn't mean it in a bad way… I just…got jealous, that's all… I'm sorry, so please stop biting your lips.” He rubs his thumb over your fresh wound then gives you a kiss on the lips. “I want you to be needy, it shows me that you want me. I promise to make you feel good. Please just relax.” Rafayel tries to comfort you. 

You finally relaxed your jaws as Rafayel calmed you. “That's right, relax, my love. I promise I will take care of you.” ‘I’ll do better than Xavier.’ he thought to himself. Rafayel hovers over you, balancing on his knees and his one elbow of the hand that tightly grips your hand. You tried to calm down your breathing and with Rafayels’ hand just traveling wherever he wanted, it wasn't an easy thing to do. He sees you struggling but can't help to tease you for how cute you are reacting to him. He loves seeing every single of your reactions. It fuels him, it gives him the confirmation he needs to help you feel good. 

“Rafayel…..” you called him with a whimpering voice, tugging at his shirt with your free hand. His face turned red from your beautiful wanting face. “Sorry, princess. Time for your reward.” He kisses you on your cheeks, jaw and down your neck. His hand claps on your thigh, giving you a shock of pleasure as he travels up towards your core. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look in this lingerie? Absolutely breathtaking. I knew you would look good but I wasn't expecting this.” His compliments are driving you closer to the edge. 

“Rafayel! No more teasing…please…” you reached your hand to the back of his head and tugged lightly at his hair. He whispered quietly under his breath. “Fuck.” He brushes your panties aside with his thumb and his middle finger is rubbing at your entrance, he is using every fiber of his body to make sure it's not too rough with you. When his finger finally enters you, you scream out in pleasure as your back arches high, you’ve never felt anything like this, the slight tingle of pain throws you into shock and your orgasm takes over you.

“Did…did you just cum from that?” Rafayel was a bit shocked, he hardly inserted his finger. “Oh, my love, you are the most adorable little thing.” He kept his eyes on you. Your face all twisted with pleasure and ecstasy gave him a hard on. “My love, can you touch mine for me please? I want us to cum together. You can go again right?” He was still holding onto your dominant right hand and you were forced to use your left for him. You yanked his pants down along with his boxers moving your hand from his left to the right as his pants and boxer fell above his knees. He had been a leaking mess for a while. 

You could feel his pre-cum dripping on your belly, you placed your fingers on his leaking tip and he started puffing, he is trying to control his breathing and focus so he does not come undone from just a few strokes. His finger inside you started moving, slowly gliding in and out of you and you started to grip his cock a bit tighter. He leans in to kiss you and licks your lips wanting access to your mouth. When you part your lips, his tongue slips in and finds yours. The room is filled with wet, slurping sounds. You are both really turned on from it. 

Your hand was stroking up and down Rafayels’ length as he lines up his index finger along with his middle and pushes both into your core. “Ahh!” Your shaky eyes widened and started getting teary, Rafayel so captivated by them, he started moving his hand in a twisting motion, sending waves of pain and pleasure through your whole body. Your grip tightens more and your stroking becomes faster. He gently bites your lower lips as you both try to catch your breaths. “MMM! Raf...” you wanted to tell him you are almost there. His hand now resumes gliding in and out of you while his twisting motion doesn't stop, he had you screaming his name as you climaxed again. He also came as you screamed his name in pure ecstasy, his cum landed on the see-through lingerie as he finally sat up and admired his new masterpiece, being you. 

Rafayel lowered his hips to meet yours, your body twitched and your eyes darted to his. “Rafayel…? What are you trying to do?” you are scared, you came with 2 of his fingers and the tingling pain was still there. You were not ready to take him inside you yet, mentally and physically. Rafayel sees your face and you struggle. He found it really cute that his fearless bodyguard does get scared sometimes. “Don’t worry my love, I won't enter, I can see you are not ready and I'm not one to force my lover to give me what I want.” His reassurance calmed you down a bit but his moving hips got you flustered. “Since I can't enter, can I just rub myself against you?” 

You were not sure what he meant but nodded anyway, and in seconds your panties and the see-through dress was no longer on you. He had his arms under your waist, he cock is now hard again and is right above your clit. He lowers himself and starts thrusting his hips, grinding his cock to your clit. You both moan in pleasure, you could feel your pussy getting extremely wet. Your legs were brought up and he would rub your entrance all the way up to your clit with each thrust. The friction felt so good for him and with your leaking pussy, he thought he was already inside you. 

Rafayel thrusts himself faster and you could see his eyes closed and brow furrowed, biting on his lip to stop himself from drooling. “This feels hah… so good, almost as if… ngh… I'm inside you.” His forehead is now touching yours and his mouth gaping wide open trying to catch his breath. With a few more thrust, he came all over your bare belly. And he rolls off to the side of you. Looking absolutely fucked out. You rolled towards him and gave him a passionate kiss.

You sat up, thinking you should get home and start on your paperwork since you are supposed to be working. “Rafayel, I should get going. I still need to do some work and my laptop is at home.” Rafayels' face changed from bliss to abandoned kitty mode. “Do you really have to go?” He whines as he slowly sits up. “Yeah, I rushed out of the office yesterday to get here as soon as I can to check up on you, there's still a lot of reports I have not finished.” Rafayel softens up a bit knowing he was the reason why she left work unfinished and felt glad that you thought he is more important than your work. 

“I'm going to need another shower before I go.” You looked down at yourself and started blushing. “I'll join and help wash you.” Rafayel jokingly suggested. You gave him a nod of approval and his face instantly turned red, thinking you wouldn't let him. He slid off the bed and in an instant he was fully naked. He walks over to the other side of the bed where you were and bridal carries you to his bathroom. He unhooks your lace bra, helps you stand in his shower and he follows shortly. 

The shower turned into a steamy makeout session, he cleans you thoroughly from head to toe, and you help him. Rafayel felt so comfy in water and with you being in the shower with him he felt like he was home.

It took a long time before he finally let you leave but you managed to get home on your bike and started on your reports. You were working for so long that you didn't even notice what time it was, all you knew was your stomach was growling and you decided to order some food. You realized it was already dark and your lights weren't on. You took a break from your laptop and went to turn the lights on. You went to the bathroom to wash your face. 

When you came out, you saw a tall black figure standing at your apartment entrance. You almost thought you forgot to lock the door earlier, you finally noticed it was Zayne. “Zayne! You scared me, why are you just standing there? Come in.” Zayne was just looking down and not saying anything. You could tell something was wrong but you are not sure if he would open up. He finally removed his shoes and put them on the shoe rack, eyes still avoiding you and standing by the door like he was about to be kicked out any second. You walked over to him and pulled him towards the couch and sat him down. 

His silence was overwhelming and you are worried. You kneel down to your knees beside Zayne and place your hands on his fist on his lap. “Zayne? Did something happen?” For someone who normally sits up straight, his back is now slouched and you lift your right hand to cup his cheeks, his left hand travels up and greets your hand. His sharp hazel eyes finally met yours’, his lips parted but words were struggling to come out. “...... What did he mean by ‘I win’?'' You had a confused look on your face. “What do you mean?” you question. Zayne shows you his phone with the group chat, Rafayel’s taunting message saying ‘I win’.

You are now as confused as Zayne, and when he sees your confused look on your face, he finally relaxes and releases a soft chuckle. He pinched the bridge of his nose thinking to himself how silly he must have been to worry about Rafayel’s stupid little taunt the whole day. He had been struggling to focus on his work the whole day thanks to Rafayel. He lay on the back of the couch with his head resting on it and had his arm covering his eyes while his legs were apart. You adjusted yourself from beside him to being between his legs, you wanted to see his face more clearly. 

Zayne jolted as you lean in closer, unintentionally placing your hands on his lap as you do, his ears starting to turn pink. You’ve never seen him flustered before, you thought he was sick as you tried to check his temperature by putting your forehead against his while your hand brushes his bangs away.. “Just what do you think you’re doing?” he furrows his brows again, as he grabs your wrist. He thought you were trying to tease him but your genuine, innocent concerned eyes told him otherwise. “I just wanted to make sure you're alright.” 

He relaxes his brows and smiles at you while caressing your cheeks, “Don't worry, I am already feeling much better than before.” You rest your head on Zayne's chest, your chest pressed against his torso, you could hear his heart beating faster. “I missed you Zayne…” He wraps his arms around you, “I've missed you too.” It was a very tender moment, and you tried to hug him tighter, suddenly you felt his bulge on your belly. Your eyes darted to him, he was hoping you didn't feel it, but how could you not? He's twitching uncontrollably. 

“Sorry my sweet, been pretty busy the last couple of days and have been feeling a bit frustrated. Rafayels' little stunt didn't help.” His hand is back pinching the bridge of his nose. You giggled at him. “Maybe I can help you relieve some stress?” You placed your hands on his throbbing boner. He was surprised at your offer. You were so flustered last time he grabbed your hand to touch him and now you seem normal. ‘Maybe I should be wary towards those 2 afterall.’ Zayne thought to himself. 

“It seems you have no issues with toughing it anymore. Was it because of Rafayel?” Zayne's hazel eyes are glaring, he looks like he is getting angry. You couldn't lie to Zayne so you told him the truth. “I… gave him a hand job.” Your face was turning red and you looked away from Zayne's eyes. “Is that all?” He asks while staring down at you. “......he came all over my face.” You shut your eyes tight, afraid of what you might see as Zayne clicks his tongue in dismay. “Anything else?” “I might have swallowed some of it.” 

It was as if you heard something snapped. He pulled your face towards him, the sudden jerking motion had you widen your eyes and reverted your attention back to him. He drags the bottom of your lips down with his thumb, as the other hand runs in his hair to push it back while staring you straight in the eyes. “Since you did it for him, you wouldn't mind doing it for me too, right?” Zayne wasn't really asking, he was demanding you. You gulped a mouth full of air as your hands traveled to his belt buckle. Your shaky hands unbuckles his belt and unbutton his trousers, pulling his zipper down and finally setting his cock free. It springs out of his pants and you were shocked by his size. Rafayel and Xavier weren't on the small side but Zayne's is huge. You could hardly get a grip on him with one hand. 

You were amazing at his sheer size. You were thinking how something this big will ever fit inside you? The thought of it made you squeeze your thigh together in excitement and fear. “Why don't you give it a taste?” Zayne's voice says seductively, you moaned and kissed his tip. You could see his pre-cum starting to leak, you tried to catch every drop with your tongue. “My sweet girl does everything so well.” He coos. You had your lips all over his length and you licked him from top to bottom. 

You brushed your hair behind your ear as you lined your lips to his cock. Parting slightly as he enters your mouth. Zayne throws his head back from the tightness of your mouth. The stretch was hurting the corners of your mouth but you sucked up to it. Zayne's breathing becomes heavier, you tried to use your hands to jerk him off since you were having trouble having all of him in your mouth. “That pretty little mouth all over my cock, does it excite you, my sweet?” He placed one hand behind your head and lightly grabbed onto your hair. You tried your best to fit more of him into your mouth, as he goes deeper, your eyes start getting teary. He would tug you softly towards him, making sure he doesn't hurt you. You angled yourself to take all of him, and he let out a loud moan when he hit the back of your throat. His cock was making you gag, but you tried your best and wanted to let him feel good. 

You slowly pull your head back only to push yourself back, your motion gets faster and the next thing you know, your head is bobbing over Zayne's cock. “This feels so much better than I expected, have you been doing it for them?” His head is lowered, eyes closed and mouth open, panting heavily. You tried to shake your head without letting go, you tried to muffle out a no but it just turned out as a moan. Zayne had both his hands on your head now as he fucks you in your mouth. “I'm close, my sweet girl, you will accept all of me right?” You nodded your head and his hips began to thrust upward into your mouth. “Do your best to keep your beautiful eyes on me, I want you to see me cum for you.” Zayne demands, and you complied. Trying to keep your watery eyes on Zayne's while sucking him off, taking him all the way into your throat. Your teary eyes are driving him insane, he grunts and holds your head close to his base as he shoots hot cum down your throat. Your tears are rolling down your cheeks and it is hard to breathe as you gag and choke on his cum. 

He pulls himself out and helps you get up to straddle on his lap as you cough and tries to catch your breath. He sees drool and cum spilling out the corners of your mouth and holds your chin up with one hand, admiring your beauty. “That was great my sweet, you did really well, taking all of me in that cute little mouth of yours.” You were tired and worn out, but you managed to smile sweetly to Zayne's compliments. 

“Since you did such a good job, would you like a reward?” He whispers into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “Can…can I get a kiss?” You stare longingly into Zayne's eyes. He pulls you in and kisses you passionately, one hand caressing your cheek and the other on your lower back. “I was thinking about a different reward.” Zayne's hand slips inside your pajama shorts with his fingers teasing your drenching folds. “My sweet girl got this wet from sucking me off? You are so adorable.” He presses light kisses on your cheeks and neck as you pants and moan. 

His hand has left your cheeks and found its way inside your hoodie, cupping your breast and pinching your hard nipples. “I want to see everything, lift up your arms so I can take this off.” He took his hands off you to take off your hoodie which you had nothing else underneath. He got you to stand up as he took your pajama shorts and panties off as well, before pocketting your panties which you didn't stop him. He took a second to scan you from head to toe before pulling you back into his embrace with your back now towards his chest, legs spread as you saddle on his legs, your folds were sitting on the base of his cock. You were embarrassed and nervous, the feeling of a bare cock so close to your entrance scared and excited you at the same time. 

“You're so warm and wet, you're driving me crazy.” Zayne has one hand back on your chest and the other rubbing circles on your clit. He's biting and sucking the back of your neck, you couldn't control your hips and glides your folds to his length. You had your eyes closed, feeling every little sensation amplified as you grind on his cock and his fingers playing with your clit. You were so close to your climax when you heard knocking on your door. Zayne was too focused on keeping himself from cumming from you grinding on his cock that he didn't even notice the knocking. You weren't able to say anything as all that was coming out from your mouth was heavy pants.

The knocking continued and you could hear someone talking, just as the talking stopped you heard the door being unlocked. You got so nervous that you became undone by Zayne's hands. “Ahhhn!!” You moan out loud as Xavier enters your apartment with the food you've ordered, and sees you coming as Zayne plays with your body. Xavier was angry, he placed the food on the dining table and walked in front of both of you. You being fully naked sitting on top of Zayne's cock, and Zayne finally noticed Xavier and unintentionally gave a taunting smirk. 

Xavier kneeled down in front of you and grabbed you off of Zayne, your arms now around Xavier's neck as you saddled on his thigh trying to catch your breath. Xavier glared at Zayne with darkened eyes, you've never seen him like that before and it scared you. Xavier was already insecure about Rafayel’s taunting message and seeing you become undone by Zayne drove him mad. Xavier hugged you so tightly around your waist while his murderous eyes stared at Zayne like he was a wanderer. 

“Welcome home, Xavier.” You said once you finally calmed your breathing, and you hugged him tight. Zayne's brows furrowed as you sweetly welcomed Xavier, even though he was the one who made you cum just now and it seems you have forgotten all about him. Xavier finally relaxed a bit as he buried his head on the crook of your neck, “I'm home.” 

Zayne slips your hoodie back over your head and says “Since you've ordered food, you better eat before it gets cold.” Xavier pouts as he lets you go, agreeing that you should eat first. Xavier walked you over to the dining table and sat you down and sat beside you. Zayne follows and sits across from you. “What brought you all the way here Dr. Pervert.” Xavier angrily asks. “The same reason why you're here. The message from Rafayel and just wanting to see Y/N after not seeing her for a few days.” 

The 2 men were just having small talk but you could tell they were at each other's throats. They do, however, decide to get back at Rafayel. You stare at the 2 of them, you can't help but think they are up to no good. You tried to calm the both of them down, “Do you 2 want some food? I ordered extra thinking I could eat it tomorrow.” You opened the cupboard trying to reach for some bowls on the top shelf, as you reached up, your lower body became exposed and they could see the wetness from your last orgasm dripping down your thighs. You quickly covered yourself up feeling embarrassed.

“The only thing I want to eat right now is you.” Xavier says with a dead serious face. You were shocked by his words and you became flushed in seconds. You don't even feel hungry anymore, you pull your hoodie down and squeeze your thighs together, biting your bottom lip as you stare at the 2 men. “It would seem she also wants us too by the looks of it.” Zayne chimes in. “Can I?” You looked at them, with wanting eyes. 

How could they possibly say no to how adorable you looked. They walked over and grabbed your hand and took you to your bedroom. They once again took your hoodie off, leaving you naked on the bed. You were staring at them with begging eyes and Xavier took the hint and started undressing himself, Zayne saw and followed. The 2 gorgeous men, now fully naked, one to your left and the other on your right. 

You were all on your knees and you turned facing Xavier, you missed not having him around and you leaned in to hug him. He tilted your head so he could kiss you on your lips, as you 2 exchanged sloppy kisses, you unintentionally lifted your ass, which was faced toward Zayne. He leans in to kiss you on your back as his hands fondle your breasts, making you moan. “Can I claim my reward now?” Xavier asks as his hands rubs your cheeks. You nodded and you leveled your head towards his hard length. 

You held his cock in your hands, balancing yourself on your elbows as you licked the dripping wetness off his tip. His hands were combing through your hair while he glued his eyes on your sexy face. “Where did you learn to do that?” Xavier exhales under his breath, he sees Zayne having a huge smirk on his face. “On second thought, don't answer that…'' he sighs. Zayne couldn't help but chuckle quietly, he has one hand on your hips and the other going between your legs towards your pussy. Just as you start taking Xavier into your mouth, Zayne's finger enters you, making you gasp for air and your breathing was sending waves of pleasure though Xavier. 

You tried to focus and suck on Xaviers’ cock but Zayne's finger was distracting you, making it hard to properly service Xavier. Once you got used to Zayne's rhythm, you were able to focus your attention back on making Xavier feel good, but Zayne wouldn't make it easy. Once he sees you lose focus of his finger inside you, he adds another. Stretching your cunt makes it hard for you to think. The sloppy blowjob was getting to Xavier as he glared angrily at Zayne for distracting you, but Zayne was enjoying his fun. 

Xavier was annoyed and grabbed you up and you were just dumbfounded, staring confusedly at Xavier as drool rolls down the corner of your mouth. “He's making it hard for me to properly receive my reward. Can I be inside you?” You blushed at his request but also wanted to fulfill your promise to him so you nodded. In one swift movement, your back is now towards Xaiver and you are now facing Zayne, Xaiver has one hand rubbing your clit as his other lines himself up to your entrance. 

Xavier starts pushing himself into your throbbing hole, the initial push makes your hold body jolt, you are being stretched on the bottom and you lose balance and land on Zayne's chest as he holds you up, he watches your face twist with pain and overwhelming pleasure. You were panting heavily and eyes widened but so unfocused you couldn't really think straight. “Hah…hah…darling you're so tight…relax a bit so I can come all the way in.” Xavier whispers in your ear as his hand rubs furiously on your bud. You try your hardest to loosen up and Xavier finally managed to sheath himself inside you. “Good job darling, now I can give you your reward.” 

He pulls out and slowly pushes himself back in. Zayne was holding you up while he sucked on your nipples one at a time. Xavier slowly adds speed towards his thrusting, if it wasn't for Zayne keeping you up, you wouldn't have collapsed on your bed long ago. You were both getting close to your climax, “Darling, you are making it very hard for me to pull out.” Xavier says as he thrust faster into you. “Don't pull out!” You begged. With your encouragement and a few more quick thrusts, you came and all you remember is Xavier swearing quietly “fuck!” as he came inside of you.

You and Xavier were trying to catch your breath as he saw his cellphone on the counter beside your bed. He grabbed it and Zayne knew what he wanted to do, he nodded his head in agreement and with that Xavier snapped a picture of your fucked out face and you sandwiched between Xavier and Zayne. Xavier sents the picture in the group chat and the next thing you know, your phone was ringing off the hook. Even though your phone was ringing and everyone knew who it was, you weren't able to pick it up being stuck between the 2 of them. Xavier finally pulls out and hot cum starts spilling out your hole and dripping down your thighs. 

“My turn.” Zayne grabs your waist, your back is now leaning towards Xavier as he kisses the side of your neck as he holds you up. Your body was overstimulated and you are reacting to every little touch. Zayne pushes himself inside you, “Fuck, you are so tight, sweetheart.” Your head is thrown back and you cry out, “I-I can’t, it's…mmnhg too much…” tears rolling down your cheeks as Xavier licks them all up. “You can do it, my sweet girl. You've never let me down.” Zayne coos you as he pushes more of him inside. “You're doing great darling, he's almost all the way in.” Xavier encouraged you. With a little more push, Zayne is now all the way inside you and you climaxed as he reached the deepest part of you. 

Throbbing and twitching around his cock, Zayne is about to lose himself in your warmth, your tight walls feeling as if it's trying to milk every last drop of cum out of him. He shuts his eyes and rapidly thrust his hips, knowing he will not last long. His mouth gaping wide open and his breath is a mess. He's gripping so hard on your hips that for sure you would end up with a bruise the next day. You feel like you are about to have another orgasm as Zayne is so close to his high. 

Outside your apartment building there was a loud screech. And the next thing you know, Rafayel has burst through your door breathing frantically. He watches as you and Zayne climax as he cums inside you, your back arches in such a sexy way as Xavier kisses your neck and pinch your nipples. Zayne pulls out and a large amount of cum comes spilling out. Rafayel looks as if he was about to commit murder, he gritted his teeth and walks towards you as the 2 men have their hands all over you. 

You see Rafayel and you reach both your arms towards him, he instantly melts and grabs hold of you, he looked like he was about to cry. Not sure how it happened, but you managed to turn and push him down on your bed. Rafayel blushed from ear to ear and was shocked at how you still had the strength after the 2 of them fucked your brains out. You were in a drunken state, you looked at him with primal eyes and licked your lips, you straddled him “Take them off.” you demanded as you tug on his trousers. 

His hands rushed to his belt and quickly unbuckled and slipped them off along with his boxers. “Lose the shirt too.” You told him, still straddled on him and your fingers running up the inside of his shirt. Rafayel takes it off and throws it in Xavier's face. Rafayel was trying to back himself up to the center of the mattress as you followed his hips closely. “I want this, now.” You were the hunter and Rafayel was your prey. You grabbed Rafayels’ leaking cock and lined yourself above him. Your hands placed on his chest as you lowered yourself towards him, panting heavily. You could feel his heart beating out his chest. His eyes stare straight into your dilated pupils as he tries his best to catch his breath. 

Xavier and Zayne just sit by your pillow, watching with envious eyes. When your hips finally met his, you pulled yourself all the way till only his tip was inside and you sat back down quickly and forcefully, making both of you moan loudly. You bounce yourself faster and faster on his cock and Rafayel had his head thrown back gasping for air. You were close again and he could feel you getting tighter, “p-princess I-I need mmhgn I need to cum. I'm gonna cum!” He whines and yelps as he grabs your thigh and thrust upwards towards you and you tilt your head back and come as he shoots loads and loads of hot cum inside your core. 

“I need you to do that for me next time darling.” Xavier said as he pouted. “I didn't think you had that in you.” Zayne was so impressed by your lustful desire. You finally collapsed beside Rafayel as you rode out your high. You spent the last of your stamina and your body was super sensitive as you felt the warmth leaking out your core. Rafayel rolls on top of you staring at your fucked out face, he anger as been long replaced by affection, all he could think about is what you just did for him as he start blushing again and lean in to kiss you on your lips. 

Your breath finally slows down and you feel so tired and sore that you can hardly stay awake. The 3 men helped clean you up, changed your sheets as they took turns holding onto you as they put boxers on. By the time they finish cleaning up, you've fallen asleep in Zayne's arms. He places you down on the bed and lays down beside you, brushing your hair behind your ear. You look so adorable and innocent in his arms. Rafayel and Xavier fight for the empty spot next to you as Zayne whispers sweet nothings in your ear to keep you asleep.

@huuvu

hope this is worth the wait... n_n;;

[ramshacklerumble]

💬🩵

“Oh, Gia.”

The voice flicked Gia’s attention from the rows of beakers they’d been sorting over their table to Riddle, mild surprise raising his eyebrows. Gia had come to class early in order to score a table and wasn’t expecting anyone to come by for at least another five minutes— though if there were anyone else who would want to be in the first class of the first semester earlier than they had to, it would be Riddle.

“This is the junior class.” He said, “Did you misread your schedule?”

Gia gave the barest shake of their head and as they did so, pulled the paper from their bag and passed it over to Riddle’s already waiting hand. “I’m taking this class.”

They watched his face pinch as he skimmed across it and watched the lines deepen when he read it again. “This…must be a mistake on part of the school. You should go to the Headmage to have this fixed and get you to your proper lessons...”

Had this been anyone else…Gia would’ve been offended. Knowing Riddle didn’t mean anything by it and was just trying to get things moving like they were supposed to helped with that.

Sorta.

“…I asked to be here.”

“Pardon?”

“This is my class.”

Riddle blinked as if Gia had sneezed in his face. “You…You asked to be here?”

Gia nodded, took their schedule back and went on setting up their table.

“Wha—?“ Riddle stood there, totally stunned. “How is that possible? You jumped classes? I’ve never heard of that. Where is that written?”

Gia shrugged then asked, “Wanna sit with me?”

Riddle made a sputtering noise— which Gia guessed was at their initial response and not their question because he moved around the table to plop onto the other seat. “I wasn’t aware you could skip like that. I wasn’t told. Why…I could’ve been taking this very class as a freshman had I known!”

“You never asked.”

Riddle was pouting, staring off at nothing in particular until the statement replaced the look with an expression of realization. “No, I…I didn’t. I’d taken the title as housewarden because the rules said it was possible, but it never occurred to me to…simply ask if I could take higher classes.”

He turned to Gia, “What made you question that?”

Another shrug, “I could.”

“The audacity.” The words came out with a soft huff of amusement, “…Or the imagination, perhaps?”

Riddle sighed, “Maybe it was for the best on my part. If the basic act of asking for other options was beyond my reach, then perhaps I wasn’t the right fit just yet.”

“Mm…It worked out.”

“How do you figure?”

One last shrug, “We’re both here.”

The vague regret that’d settled over Riddle’s features lifted as he chuckled, “Oh…yes. Yes, you have a point there.”

He adjusted himself in his seat— straight, poised and nothing like the half-hunched pillbug imitation Gia favored— and clasped his hands over the table, “Class hasn’t even started and already I’ve learned something new. I’d say that’s a favorable start to the semester.”

The first bell chimed throughout the school. Though nothing in the room changed, there was a shift in the air probably caused by a unanimous groan from the rest of the student body.

“Now, Gia.” Riddle smiled at them, “Let’s see what else you have for us this year.”

—

(technically cheating i guess since i’ve actually had this squirreled away in my docs for months, but i figured why not. this takes place in the beginning of sophomore year. i liked the idea of gia asking to be put in the junior alchemy classes because they’re ambitious as all hell and they DO get in because they prove they’re able to.

i’d also been thinking about their friendship with riddle a lot at the time. i’ll get into it in another ask, but while gia has a friendly acquaintanceship with riddle throughout freshman year following the events of book 1, they become solid friends in the following year after trey and cater leave for their senior internship. this leaves riddle on the lonely side until he ends up being absorbed into the original heartshackle crew.

it’s also worth noting that the last person to walk through those classroom doors is none other than floyd leech. godspeed my friends.)

tag list: @cyanide-latte @inmateofthemind @simons-twsted-children @tixdixl @blithesharem @thehollowwriter

@jovieinramshackle @theleechyskrunkly @skriblee-ksk @boopshoops @the-trinket-witch (lmk if you wanna be added)

[jacksprostate]

For a moment, my world is a single concussive blast, shattering my skull and sending my soul straight to hell. Direct flight. Short enough, there's no single serving refreshments to match the minty white hot incineration of my mouth.

When I open my eyes, cavern the size of Kansas blown through my last good cheek, the afterimage light of the bullet inflicted on the world — it's with the distinct sense that I fucked up.

I had told Marla, I wasn't killing myself. I was killing Tyler. But doesn't anyone with a gun in their mouth want to die?

I try speaking, and it works about as well as one would expect. I wave them away. Even Marla. Strangely enough, they listen. Or maybe they go to find a paramedic. No one ever told them to staunch the massive source of blood flow first. That's alright.

This is time to think. Solo reflection before group therapy.

I am alone, and Tyler is nowhere in sight.

Maybe it really was a murder suicide. Both victims, Tyler Durden. Cause of death, his stupid, stupid creator stopped wanting him. I realize this puts me in the stance of God, and I shudder. Tyler is not one of millions axeing themselves because daddy dearest and holy didn't love them enough.

And yet, I'm standing in his paraffin iconography. His pointless tomb.

Tyler says, "That's not quite nice, you know."

Tyler.

Cortisol receptors, burnt, back on fire.

Houston, we have a problem.

Tyler.

Tyler says, "Did you really think that would work? Tied it up in your head with a little bow, metaphorical gravestone marked with my name?"

Tyler says, "Didn't think you had it in you, psycho boy."

I stumble. I fall onto the ground and my head should ricochet and get scrambled like hens who've just met the fox. I fall on the ground, and my head falls into Tyler's lap. He looms over me, eyes crinkled like when he kissed me and introduced me to lye.

Tyler.

He cards his fingers through my hair. Supports my head with his palm. Turns it this way and that, tsking, humming.

Tyler says, "You did quite the number on yourself, psycho boy."

It feels like he could crack my skull open, pour out the contents like it's egg drop soup. There is sweetness to how he handles me.

"I told you," he says. "We won't really die."

Did Tyler move the tip of the gun? Did Tyler save my life?

"No. You fucked up killing yourself all on your own," Tyler says.

I wasn't trying to kill myself. I wanted to kill Tyler.

"Same thing," Tyler says, and my eyes water.

He lets his fingers slip close to the mangled chops of my cheeks. It is something that should probably hurt, but when he sticks his fingers in my face, I feel nothing. I can't tell if it's because it's not real and I don't have the energy for Tyler to use my hands, or if it's because my pain has become the ultimate white ball of healing light.

Two of his fingers slip into the gash of my old scar. It's been open since I learned about Patrick Madden. He fingers my mouth, traces the bitten chunk of my tongue. Tyler chides me. How could I ever expect fight club to release me from myself, now? It loves us too much.

"Not just Tyler Durden," he says.

Tyler says, "You might be my shadow, but they love you, too. They see you."

Be still my beating heart.

Why paraffin, Tyler?

Why not blow up the building. Doesn't this mean anything?

I thought it was my secret will to live. Tyler had come to me, perfectly handsome and an angel in his everything-blond way. My will to live tried to commit suicide, sure, but maybe he didn't. Did Tyler add the paraffin, just like how he tipped the gun?

"I told you," Tyler says. "I didn't tip the gun."

I didn't though. I wanted to die.

Why paraffin?

Tyler says, "Look at what you are now. What you've come to accept. In the best operas, the best stories, you don't really die. You learn a lesson. You up the stakes."

He pulls at my newest wound, stretching the skin tight. It gushes blood direct into my throat. Tyler opens me like a chip bag, and now I have no corners to my mouth but the ones all the way back at my ears. I've got four nice chops, ready to be pared.

Dragon of avarice.

Rough cut of beef. Pork. Good enough for stew, maybe.

I can hear the police helicopters, closer, closer. The impending doom of my discovered resurrection.

Tyler says, "You've been here since the start. I wouldn't be here in the first place if you didn't want me."

Trying to kill myself would never kill Tyler. I love him too much. It's the experience of being me I want to let go of. I stopped wanting to wake up.

That means I'm the hallucination.

Tyler says, "Think of it as metamorphosis."

Tyler is a sculptor. Carver. He is slicing the unneeded and unwanted parts of me away. This is just the largest cut of his knife. I think of little soap bears made by Boy Scouts. I am his self portrait.

Tyler says, "This is only the first step."

The helicopters land. There's stitches on every single officer.

[fifteensjukebox]

i sent vacation crush the pictures from the trip and thanked me n said he didn't even know i took most of them and i said im like google earth always takin pics (forgetting he has zero pop culture knowledge like. i know he was born during their time but i had to explain who the spice girls are? anw google earth is maybe funnier without knowing im quoting leslie knope) ANYWAY my point here was that he sent and deleted like a triple text of replies?? i think there was another thank you, sth else innocuous and one that started with "you're making" im what, making his day? to which i would've said him saying that made my day but it was gone when i clicked the notification

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Breakfast Time

My son’s stuck in a time loop again.

He thinks I don’t know, of course. He’s never told me that this happens to him (or that he can do this, possibly; I’m not sure which it is.) Maybe I’m a bad mother, if I haven’t proven myself worthy of that trust. But there is only so many times that one can watch their son trudge through a day with bored impatience, anticipating everything you say just a little too quickly and showing no surprise to even the most surprising event, and then come downstairs the next day disoriented but rejuvenated and with a new zest for life and a tendency to get blindsided by even the most predictable things, before one makes the obvious connection.

I don’t think he’s lived through this day too many times yet, because he’s not frustrated by my good morning joke but not surprised by the monster attack being announced on the news. He eats his toast makes polite conversation that sounds just a little too rote until his sister comes down, and he puts his toast down in that distinctive way that make her eyes widen in sudden realisation, a reaction I never would have noticed if I wasn’t looking for it. He told her about three time loops ago, I think, although it might’ve been earlier and I just never noticed the signal until then. I make sure to keep the smile on my face as I push a plate of toast towards her.

The thing on the news is some kind of flying beast, and my son’s eyes don’t leave the TV screen. I expect that calm, solid determination that I usually see in his expression on days like this, but instead he watches it only with a wary sort of calculation. I suppress a sigh – it looks like I won’t be remembering today, then.

The pair exchange glances and look to me. “Hey, mum, I figured we should go to school early. We’ve both got these big tests coming up and – ”

“Yes, fine, whatever. Go.” I know what you’re thinking – obviously they’re off to do something dangerous, and obviously they’re far too young for this sort of thing, and obviously I shouldn’t enable this, and I’m a terrible parent for letting them run off to maybe get themselves killed someday. But I put this to you:

How, exactly, do you expect me to stop them?

As my son heads for the door, though, I almost stop him. I consider, not for the first time, just telling him what I know, what I’ve figured out, and asking him to explain everything, to say where he’s going and what he plans to do about that thing and if his sister is involved and if they at least have help, to put my mind at ease. I don’t, though. Because, logically… I must have done that before, right? In at least one of the countless days that never happened. I must have gotten worried or angry or just fed up with this ridiculous charade and told him that he wasn’t as good at hiding as he thought he was. He has to know that I know, right? And yet, he still chooses to let it play out like this.

Or, perhaps, he told me once. That must have happened, right? I must have been there to help, to patch his wounds and dry his tears and listen to him confess his fears or his worries or his regrets about this big responsibility, about whatever he’s doing out there. He must have told me, at some point, at least once, in one of those nonexistent days. And afterwards, he chose not to tell the me that stuck around. Meaning that I must have given him some reason to keep this secret.

What did I do to him? What did I say to him? How bad a confidante must I have been, that he chooses instead to keep me in the dark?

They leave, they ‘go to school early’, and I start on the dishes. As I wash my daughter’s breakfast crumbs away, the plate slips from my fingers and shatters on the tiles at my feet. I sigh, and turn to get a broom.

Then stop. Pick up all the other dirty plates. And shatter them, one by one, on the tiles.

Then I leave the mess behind me, pull a full tub of rocky road ice cream out of the freezer, and resolve to spend the day eating junk and watching youtube videos. After all, it’s not like it’s going to matter tomorrow, right?

[writers-hes]

tell me you need me (1 of 2) | c. berzatto x reader

It was good when you started but Carmen Berzatto had the ability to make anyone fall in love with him no matter how much you tried not to. (friends with benefits!carmen, smut, mndi!!!, unprotected p in v, smut! smut!, angst!! fluff, maybe some bad words, blood, unedited) MASTER LISTS

TAGLIST

I need you tonight. Want to go?

You sighed at the message that Carmy sent you. “Want to go” was a code for “I want to have sex.” and it’s been working pretty well for these past few months. You both needed some sort of release for the pent-up stress that you both have. Carmy, with the Bear and you, with art. You were a full-time artist; creating art inspired by food using oil paint and other forms of media. You’ve been stressed with your upcoming gallery opening next month. Would they love it? It’s quite hard to meet the expectations after winning the Herb Alpert Award in the Arts last year. It was close to Carmy’s James Beard Foundation award, if not the same. In a way, at the end of the day, you were two people excelling in your jobs except for everything else. You sucked at relationships, friendships, connection…what wasn’t artistic; you sucked at. Carmy was the same. Without thinking, you typed your response, a four letter word. Maybe you’ll see him tonight.

-

Carmy enters your home like he lived in it. He had his own set of keys, it was easier that way. He’s been so stressed with the Bear and the only thing that he needs is to blow off some of that steam before he can be functional again. There was supposed to be a celebrity who was wishing for a whole fucking kitchen tour tomorrow and he had to stay behind to make sure that everything was perfect. 

“Hey,” he greets you when he sees you perched on your couch. He liked your apartment much better; at least you had multiple rooms and your own space. It’s not like his; there was work everywhere while yours felt homey. Except your studio down the hall—damn, how much do artists earn today?

“Hey,” you replied. “Did you have dinner yet? I can heat up some of the Chinese food I ordered earlier.”

“No, no. It’s alright,” he says, removing his shoes in the doorway. You were always so tidy and meticulous. No outside clothes on the bed; he had to learn that the hard way. “Actually, um, can-can I take a shower first? I want to wash the day away and I-I smell like the kitchen.”

“And you took the L,”

“Ubered here, actually.”

“Surge rates?”

“I was in a rush.”

“Oh,” you gulped. “Well, you still have your clothes in my wardrobe and your toiletries in my bathroom.”

“Which one?” he asked. “Which-which bathroom?”

“The one in my bedroom,” you replied. “You know where the fresh towels are. So…”

“Uh, yeah-yeah,” he says. “Thanks.” You only smiled at him. Conversation before your engagements are usually awkward because you both knew what the two of you were there for. It’s more comfortable afterwards; when he talks about the Bear or asks you about your art.

You and Carmy met from a friend of a friend. You were looking for chefs that could serve you inspiration for your paintings when she mentioned Carmen Berzatto. You reached out to him and he replied three months later, telling you that he can show you some of the recipes that he’s been working on. He’s an artist himself—Sistine Chapel art kind of stuff. He explained the components of his dish over dinner in your hotel apartment in New York. You mentioned that you were from Chicago and he mentioned that he’s from Chicago too…you drank too much wine and the rest was history. 

You both stopped communicating when he met Claire but he reached out again, asking if you wanted to meet. He told you all about her and how he fucked up. You drank too much wine again. History has the habit of repeating itself.

You swore to never fall in love with Carmen Berzatto and you didn’t…not until recently. He used to leave immediately once you’re both done. Lately, he’s been staying over. He talks to you about everything. He stays over and wakes you up with coffee and some Michelin Star quality pancakes or French toast. He watches you take your first bite before he takes his, likes to watch your reaction and likes hearing your praise.

You were too lost in your reviere to notice Carmen walking to you, all fresh and clean. He lays a hand on your shoulder and kisses your neck.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, voice deep and sultry. 

“You,” you replied, reaching up to massage his curls. 

“Good,” he says, removing himself from you and sitting on the opposite side of the couch. “Needed you today…but I want to talk first before…before…”

“That’s fine with me,” you replied, inching closer to him. “What’s wrong?” He puts his hand on your knee, squeezing it lightly. Since when was he so comfortable around you?

“I…I just… Mikey,” The name lingers heavy in the air. Anytime Carmen feels the crushing weight of the pressure, he says Mikey. Whenever he feels inadequate, not enough, never enough—he says Mikey.

“He’ll be proud of you, Carm,” you said, smiling at him. “Like everyone else is.”

“I’m sorry for not inviting you to the opening…Claire was-was there and…”

“I understand,” You put your hand over his to reassure him that everything’s okay. “I understand.”

“You wouldn’t have seen me,” he chuckled. “I was locked inside the walk-in the whole time and well, everything was great. What if I’m not needed?”

Is it too late for me to love you? 

“Carm…” you trailed off, trying to find the words. “Of course, you’re needed. The Bear wouldn’t be The Bear without you, you know? Your family must be so proud of you because I know that-that I am. I’m so proud of you and I-I need you so much,” you told him. “I need you, Carmen. More than you could ever know.”

Is it too late for me to love you? 

Maybe it was the words that you said, maybe it was the long forgotten show on the T.V., maybe it was because the T.V. screen illuminated your face in a way that was so, so beautiful. Maybe it was just him.

“Let’s go to bed,” he rasps, taking your hand and dragging you to the bedroom. Once he closes the door behind him, Carmy presses you against it, taking your chin and kissing you. It was slow and needy; this kiss was needy. You trail your hand underneath the white shirt that hugged his figure. You caress his sides up and down; softly; slowly and Carmen releases a whimper into your mouth. I need you. I need you. I need you. 

“Baby,” he whispers, pulling away from you to remove his shirt. “Baby, baby, baby.”

“I need you, Carmen,” you muster the courage to kiss his neck now, sucking and nipping right under his collarbone. He lets you do it, he lets you mark him like you own him. He tugs on the roots of your hair lightly. You lick the purple bruise, nipping it again just so it could last one more week. Carmen was sighing above you, letting you take him like he wanted to be taken. His hands itch, slipping right under the waistband of your panties to cup your heated cunt. “Carmy,”

“I know, baby. Let’s get you to bed, hm?” he asks, pushing you slightly. “Lay down for me. I missed you so much. Let me show you,”

You obey his commands, opening your legs widely like he likes. He crawls until his face is right in front and removes your underwear, tossing it to the side. He’ll take care of that later.

“You’re so wet,” he groans, when he lets his index finger trail along your slit. You buckle in need; silently begging him to do more. “So, fucking wet,” he repeats, parting your folds until he sees your glistening cunt. 

“Carm…” you whine. He spits on your clit and you whimper. 

“Let me taste you, hm?” you heard him say, his wandering fingers rubbing all sorts of shapes on your folds. You could only nod and he takes that, licking a bold stripe. You press your cunt against his tongue and he just takes it. He licks a few more stripes before sucking your clit softly. 

“Carmy,” you moan. Your hands trail down underneath your shirt, thumbs softly flicking your sensitive nipples. Carmy could just come at the sight of you playing with them but he holds back, sucking your clit harsher before plunging his thick middle finger inside you. “Oh, fuck,” 

He pumps the finger slowly…in, out, in, out while he licks your sensitive bud. 

“Fuck, Carmy,” you whimper. “Fuck me,”

“Later,” was his nonchalant reply; enjoying the sweet nectar that dripped from your sloppy pussy. It was better than any dessert he’s ever had before. If it was um to him, he’d have his head buried in between your legs, eating you out forever. You buckle again, pinching your nipples hard and tugging them. 

“Carm…”

“I know, I know,” he says, sucking your clit harshly for one last time before crawling on top of you. “Taste,” he orders. You obliged, opening your mouth and putting on a show with the way you licked your juices off of his finger. “Fuck,” he groans. He palms himself through his boxers while you sucked on his finger. You released it with one last suck before putting your hand on top of Carmy’s to feel his hardening cock underneath. You push his hand away while you squeeze his member lightly. Just enough for him to rut his hips against your hand. Just enough for him to toss his boxers to the side.

You tried to sit up to see him pump a few strokes, moaning your name while he did. He gets off the bed, looking at the way your body moved while you breathed. 

“Beautiful,” he whispers to himself before dragging your body to the end of the bed. He pries your legs open and puts one of them over his shoulder. He liked it like this, it fills you up in ways you cannot describe. “Need you to play with your tits while I fuck you, hm?”

He taps his cock against your pussy.

“Can you hear how wet you are?” he asked, sliding his cock in between your folds. You could feel the protruding vein run along your nub and you moan, massaging your breasts to show him your obedience. “Fuck,”

“Carmy…” you whimpered. “Please.”

He hums, grabbing his member and teasing your wet entrance with his pink tip. “You’re so…”

With no warning, Carmy plunges deep into you and you both groan. You were waiting for this. He’s been wanting this the whole day. He stays there for a few seconds before he thrusts in and out of you slowly. 

“Fuck,” 

The slopping noises inside your room reverberated in your walls and for a few moments, the sounds of your groans and skin slapping against skin heightens your arousal. Carmy thumbs your clit and he feels your walls clench around him.

“Don’t do that, petal,” he rasps, sweat dripping on his forehead. “I’ll cum fast if you do.”

“Sorry,” you choked out. He only grunts as he adjusts his pace. He was faster now and you could hear he ragged breathing. “Carmy, I need you.”

“Y-you need me,” he repeats to himself. “You need me.”

“I do,” you told him, moaning when he plunges his cock deep inside you. “Need you, need you,” 

“Oh, fuck,” he groans. “Tell me that you need me. Tell me,”

“I need you, Carmy,” you whine. “I need you to cum inside me,” 

Carmy’s eyes widened. You’ve never let him do that before. He always had to pull out or use a condom. 

“Want me to fill you up?” he asks, his voice strained. “I’ll fill you —oh, fuck,” 

“Yes, please,” you sobbed, breath hitching at the feeling of his cock twitch inside of you. “Fuck, Carmy.”

Sex has never felt this good. 

You could feel the breaking point come nearer and he does too. His movements were sloppier, his breathing even more ragged that it was. Your walls were clenching around him but that seemed to arouse him even more. 

“Fuck, fuck,” he grunted. “I’ll fill you up, hm?” 

“Yes, please, Carmy,” you whine. He could only nod, doing his best to keep his orgasm at bay. He wanted to prolong this feeling; this emotion but he couldn’t. “Fuck, Carmy, I’m cumming, I’m cumming. Carm—oh!”

He follows soon after, moaning your name as he shoots ropes of cum inside your pussy. He could feel your walls clench around him and he thrusts in slowly, to ride both of your orgasms away. 

“You-you liked that?” he asked. He doesn’t pull out. Instead he takes your other leg and hangs in on his shoulder. “We have to make sure that not a drop goes to waste.”

You nodded and felt his hands caress your legs slowly. He slowly lays your legs back down on the bed and crawls on top of you, kissing your torso, neck, and your chest while he did. 

“Stay there,” he ordered and you nodded in assent. You just let him cum inside you. He walks over to the carafe on your bedside, filling the glass with water and then, taking a hand towel from your cabinet. He pours a little bit of the liquid onto the towel. You sit up when he wordlessly gives you the glass of water. He watches you finish it and kisses your head when you gave him the glass back. He sets it on the floor carefully before opening your legs so he could clean you up.

“No,” you shook your head and he stops, alert because you told him no. “I’m…I’m still sensitive,”

“Okay, petal,” he nods, taking the glass and the towel away. He picks up the tossed articles of clothing puts it in the laundry basket. He was quiet when he takes a fresh set of pyjamas and underwear from your wardrobe. “Raise your arms,” he says and you do. He puts a new shirt on you. “Lay down.” You followed him. He puts a new pair of panties on you. “Thank you,”

You were so tired now but you were still so aware of Carmy’s actions. He stands up from the bed to wear new clothes and sits down on the bed. He carefully places your head on his lap and plays with your hair.

“Thank you,” he says, bowing down to kiss your forehead. “Why don’t you sleep for me, hm?”

“Will you be here when I wake up?”

“Waffles or pancakes?”

“Waffles with whipped cream.”

-

Why won’t you let me love you?

There were times when you’d fight with Carmen. A disagreement over something so, so, so small. This time, it was big. It was the opening of your gallery and he promised to be there. It was a big night—multiple art collectors and mongers from all over America came to see your latest pieces. They were all inspired by the food you grew up eating in Chicago; a collection of how culture, identities, and personalities affect eating. Your paintings were in vibrant colors—cup ramen with cheese, cannoli, food that you grew up eating whenever your mom was away. There were small details on the significance of the new collection to your life and he wasn’t there. You were on the stage, telling everyone how grateful you were to the audience but you were preoccupied, looking for a familiar mop of curls in the crowd. He didn’t come. He didn’t go. 

You smiled at them half-heartedly before leaving the stage, ready to be whisked away by some art dealer. You were whisked away by multiple guests, asking you for more details on the painting. You all told them everything they needed to know, what they should do if they’d like to make a purchase…

It would have been alright if he texted you…but he promised he’d be there. He promised he’d take you home. He promised.

-

Carmy was sitting alone in his apartment. He left The Bear earlier than usual and went straight home. He did it all, shower, put a nice suit, and fix his hair. He did it all, he even ran to the nearest florist to buy you flowers but he didn’t go. 

Isn’t this what lovers do? 

He wasn’t your lover. He couldn’t let himself be distracted again. He had to focus; he couldn’t fail the people that relied on him. He looked at the bag of groceries he got from the store; he was supposed to cook you something special tonight. Have you eaten yet? Fuck the suit that he paid for dry cleaning; fuck the flowers; fuck him. It must have hurt you—he knows that. Tonight was a big night and you were so excited to show him a painting that you’ve been working on. 

“I won’t sell it,” you told him. “I’ll have it shipped to you first thing in the morning.”

Would you still send it to him?

-

By the end of the night, you were exhausted. Happy, but exhausted. It was normal; talking to everyone and being scintillating the whole night was work but it was worth it. Your paintings all had their new owners, except for the painting that you promised to Carmy. Would he still want it? You were alone in the studio, wrapping the 4 by 3 foot canvas with the best quality glassine. You were giving this to him tomorrow. If he doesn't want to have it, you’ll probably just donate it somewhere else. 

You laid awake in your bed all night long, waiting for his text. It was funny, just last week he was begging you to tell him that you needed him but when you needed him most, he wasn’t there. 

You arrive at The Bear just before it opens, the big canvas tucked under your arm. He was sure to be there and had always told you to use the back door if you weren’t dining. You always obliged, of course, opening the backdoor to reveal everyone. You’ve met Sydney and Richie before but you haven’t met the others yet. You were an alien in an unknown world; Carmy’s employees looking at you, as if wondering who this girl was. 

“Hey,” Sydney greeted, looking at the glassine covered thing that you were carrying. “Didn’t know you were coming in today. Congratulations on your exhbit,”

“Yeah, Congrats. What’s that, sweetheart?” Richie asked. 

“Oh,” you just nodded. Carmy couldn’t even look at you. “I just came here to give this to…uh, Carmy,” you cleared your throat. “Carm…?”

“Uh, yeah-yeah,” he stuttered. “Can we go to the office?” 

“Sure.”

You followed him into the office while Richie tells everyone to go back to what they were doing. Your heart was hammering inside your chest, afraid that this was going to be another one of those petty fights that you’ve had with him. 

You were wrong. So, so wrong. 

“You didn’t come last night,” you told him, shielding yourself from him with the painting. “I…I waited.”

“Sorry,” was his laconic reply. You nodded, chuckling. 

“That’s all?” you asked. “Just…sorry? No explanation, no nothing?” you asked. “I was looking for you the whole night, Carm. You promised you were coming,”

“I don’t know what-what you want me to say,” he says, looking everywhere but at you. “I-I-I’m sorry, okay? I had other plans.”

“You promised months ago that you were coming,” you repeated. “I called Sydney last night because you weren’t answering and she told me that you left early.”

“You’re spying on me now?” he asks, suddenly defensive. “I had things to do that night. I can’t-can’t just put everything on hold for-for you.” He spits his words like venom, voice getting louder with every word.

You frowned, not recognizing who the boy was in front of you. It’s not like you asked him to put his life on hold. Your heart was beating so fast in anger, ears ringing. 

“I see. So you just need me around and you-you just I don’t know, call me because you need to get your dick wet?” you asked, matching his volume. “You just need me around when no one else is there to fuck you? Is that it?” you asked. “What the fuck?” 

Carmy blinks, tries to think of the words he’s about to say but he couldn’t stop himself. He could never seem to stop himself. 

“You’re the only one desperate enough to do so,” he shrugs. It breaks your heart in pieces, really. The nights Carmen spent nuzzling his head in your shoulder before you slept probably meant nothing to him. Your face falls, contorting in hurt at what he just said. Fuck Carmen Berzatto. Fuck him. “I’m not your fucking boyfriend. I don’t know why you expect me to just-just-just do something!”

“Maybe I wanted you there as my friend!” you shouted over. Your voices could be heard from outside but everyone else pretended like they weren’t listening to anything that you both were saying. You were shouting over each other now, the fuse just breaks. “If you didn’t have any fucking plans to actually go, then don’t give me your good for nothing fucking promises!”

“I don’t need a girl leeching on me when I’m opening a fucking restaurant. Do you want me to put everything on you just because you asked me to? I’m not your fucking boyfriend. You know that right? And maybe-maybe I don’t want to be your fucking friend either!”

“Why would I want you to be my boyfriend, Carmy? You’re-you’re fucking unreliable! You have issues that need fixing. You think Claire could fix that? You think I could fix that? You think the girls you get wrapped around your fucking finger can fix your fucked up fucking head? Huh? Is that what you think? You’re so fucking miserable you make everyone around you miserable! Grow up!” He’s hurt. That’s what you thought of him? That he was miserable? Did he make you miserable?

“I don’t need to go to your fucking art exhibition when they’re all fucking shit.”

You closed your mouth before you could protest. The pain of his words felt like a slap on the face. If he regretted it, he didn’t show it. You turned away, nodding. 

“Fuck you, Carmen. Don’t fucking call me. Don’t fucking knock on my door. Don’t…don’t fucking think of me. I’m fucking done with you,”

“Yeah? You’re done with me, huh? Fuck you,” he spits back. He heard the waver in your voice; heard how you tried to steady everything. He wanted to say sorry but you were already leaving. Richie and Sydney couldn’t even ask you what happened because you were rushing out, throwing the painting you worked hard on for days at the back. Fuck Carmen Berzatto. Fuck him. 

-

“Fuck!” his chefs could hear from outside the office. Everyone heard the vile things you both screamed at each other; everyone heard why you were so angry. Everyone fucking heard. Nobody dared to move, they didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Carmy’s anger; not when The Bear was about to open. Continuous loud bangs and sounds of some object being thrown were heard too. Sugar sighed. 

“Carm?” she called from the door. “It’s almost opening,”

“I-I-I know, Sug.” he replied, blinking. “Uh, can-can you guys go ahead? I’ll be there, I just-just need to you know, calm down?”

“Okay, Bear,” she smiles, tapping the door frame before leaving Carmen in his own thoughts. He gets out of the restaurant through the back door, about to light a cigarette, when he sees the canvas wrapped with glassine. 

“Fuck,” was the only thing he could mutter before taking it and sitting where the staff usually stayed at when they wanted a break. He lights up a stick and lets it hang loose on his lips while he opens your gift with shaky hands. He was so immersed in the experience, gently removing the tape and making sure that nothing was ruined that he didn’t notice Sydney. 

The glassine reveals a painting of a plate of cannolis. He remembered that he told you the story about cannolis during Christmas and how he wanted to recreate that—take it for himself. He traces over the precise brushstrokes shakily. 

“That’s a good painting,” Sydney spoke, her hands behind her back. “Would be a waste to just throw it out.”

“I know,” Carmy nods. “I’m sorry you had to uh, hear all of that.”

“It’s…something,” Sydney replied, making Carmy chuckle. 

“I always…always seem to uh, fuck up everything,” he muttered. “I was on the way there, you know? Last night?”

“Yeah. You were so excited,”

“I was,” he coughed. “But I didn’t go because…” Words died down in his mouth. Why didn’t he go? “I’ve said some things and she-she doesn’t want me to call her anymore and I-I understand but like, I don’t know, Syd.”

Don’t know why I could never seem to just let myself enjoy things. I don’t belong anywhere else but in the fucking kitchen. It’s the only thing I was good at.

“I didn’t really want to to, uh, fuck this up.”

-

I want to talk to you.

Come to my apartment after your shift. Or whenever.

Carmen feels his palms sweat when he reads  texts you sent him days ago. He decided to go today, finally—he was never good at confronting things; always so explosive, so defensive. He didn’t know what he’d feel like today. He knocks on your door and hears the shuffling from the other side. He just got out of The Bear; he was tired but he forced himself to go. He had to go. 

“Hey,” you smiled tightly when you opened the door. “Come in.”

He nods, wordlessly entering your apartment like how henused to. Bag and shoes on the side. Somehow, this made him more nervous than usual. This was a prelude to something else entirely; he believed that.

“How are you? he asked, voice small and looking down. 

“I’m…good,” you replied, looking away. “You?”

“Busy,” he replied. The air felt heavy and his palms were sweating. “I’m…I’m sorry for not being there when I promised you that I would,”

“Why weren’t you there, Carm?” you asked and he could hear the sadness in your voice. He knew that your exhibit meant a lot to you. “You…you told me you will and well, you were…the-the person I want to be there the most.”

“I didn’t know that. I’m- I’m sorry,” he shrugged. “But why? I mean, I-I don’t know art. I like my shit but I-I’m not cool or understand—“

“Because I like you, Carmy.” you told him, looking at him now and trying to go nearer. He stepped back and you stopped your tracks.

“You—what?” he asked, shaking his head furiously; like your confession offended him. “You…like me.”

“I do,” you nodded. “But…it doesn’t matter.”

“Fuck. How many times do we have to go back to this very same place for you to understand?” he asked, running a hand through his hair. He told you before that he didn’t want to date. You told him you understood. You told him he was being egotistic when he told you not to get attached. He wanted to leave. He didn’t expect this to happen—he didn’t want this to happen. “I don’t—I don’t—“

“Carmy,” you cautioned him, trying to ease your beating heart. “Can you listen to me? I-I-I like you, okay and I’ve been thinking about it too. I’m—you’re always staying behind after sex and well, I just maybe thought that you liked me too.” You replied, swallowing his rejection for now.

“I don’t,” he snaps, tone sharp. “We’ll both be miserable in a relationship. I’ll never make-make you happy. You’re right, you know? I’m unreliable and-and-and issues that I need to fix…and I’m not the one you’re looking for,”

“I’m sorry for saying that. It wasn’t my place to do so,” was your meek reply. How does he feel so far away when he feels so, so, so close?

“No, uh,” Carmen blinks, shaking his head. “It’s fine. I-I-I needed to hear those things, you know? I’m sorry too…for everything.”

“Thank you.”

“That’s it then?” he asked. He was distressed. How could he fuck this up after telling Sydney that he didn’t want to fuck things up with you? “I…I had fun,” You were the only one who kept me afloat when everything else turned to shit. I missed you when we stopped talking. I should have fought harder. What else could I have done?

“Fun,” you chuckled bitterly. “Fun…that’s the only thing you’re going to say to me?”

Carmy frowned. 

“What else did you want me to say?”

“I don’t know, Carmy!” you exclaimed, pacing back and forth but never towards him. “God! Tell me that I’m important to you. Tell me that I’ll still be your friend…tell me that you—that you—that I mean more than a fuck!”

Silence. Carmy couldn’t find the words to tell you what you truly meant to him…that he wanted what you wanted too but he was too scared to fuck it all up again like he did with Claire.

You nodded, looking away. You breathed in deeply, as if trying to relieve yourself of the hurt. That’s all you’ve ever meant to him. 

“You lead me along and it’s fine. I know that it’s my fault for wanting other things but at least…at least tell me that I’ll still be your friend; that I still matter to you even if I dug myself a hole by feeling things. Tell me that you still need me to put everything on hold for you because I’ve been waiting you to call me all day…”

“I don’t want you to do that. I don’t want you putting your life on hold for me,” he rasps. “I don’t…”

“But what if I wanted to?” you asked, face slightly contorted because you didn’t want to be so vulnerable in front of him. Not when he hasn’t told you what you wanted yet. Carmy was just looking at you, tapping his foot on the floor. It was a nervous habit that he developed. Fuck, he needed a cigarette.

“Can you, uh, leave?” you asked, voice low. “I…” 

“No, no, no,” he begs, rushing towards you. He grabs a hold of your elbows to remind you that he was there. Would it mean anything? Would his touch convey all of the words he wanted to say? 

“Carm…” your voice breaks. “Carm…”

“No, no. You’re not just that to me,” he reassures “But you have to understand that-that I can’t love you like that.”

“Carmen, please…” you beg, tears brimming in your eyes. “Please…just, just leave,”

You’ve never asked him to leave before but it seemed like it was what you really wanted—like it was what you really needed. He nods, kissing your head softly before detaching himself from you. 

“I’m sorry,” Carmy said. “For-for not saying the right, uh, things.”

“Yeah,” you nod, hiding yourself from him. He hated that you had to do that when you’ve cried on his shoulders multiple times. He never liked seeing you cry; he just didn’t know that one day, he’ll be on the receiving end of your sadness. He watches you rub your forehead, biting your lip to stop yourself from crying. If you started crying, would he stay?

-

It’s been months since Carmy left. He’s been in his best form in the kitchen. He was making things easier for his staff; he was working twenty four hours a day. Going to The Bear early to help with prep; staying late to help them clean after a long shift of cooking and cooking and kitchen tours. He’s been getting acclaim—more acclaim, really. There was a waiting list on his restaurant and positive reviews from left and right flooded in. The Bear was dubbed as “The Restaurant of the Year” in Chicago despite being less than a year old. 

He’s been doing good—perfect. 

It was like he was a hamster in a fucking wheel with no other way to escape. He likes putting himself in gear, like driving fast because it makes him believe that nothing really hurts him. He didn’t like being at home; it reminded him too much of you. It reminded him of when you’d lean on the kitchen counter, a small smile on your lips while you watched him cook you something. He didn’t like sitting on the couch because it reminded him of when he slept with his head on your lap. He didn’t like it in his bedroom because he’s reminded of that night when you pulled him closer in your sleep. He didn’t like The Bear because the painting that you gave him hung so proudly by the dining area. It was marvellous—they said. How was he able to get a painting that you did when your art was so valuable and in demand? 

He was moving so fast so you wouldn’t cross his mind but it seemed like no matter what he did, he'd end up thinking about you anyway. 

It didn’t matter, how come a fall like that made him feel like flying? Maybe he’s waiting for it to hit him but he was feeling alright. 

He was alright. 

“Chef!” Sydney called, looking at Carmen who was chopping the vegetables like a madman. “Carmen!”

“Fuck, what, Sydney?!” he asked, slamming his knife on the counter. 

“You’re bleeding,” Marcus told him and Carmen looked down, blood was all over the chopping board. “You’ve been bleeding for a few seconds now…we’ve all been calling your name, Chef.” 

“Fuck, I-I-I’m…” Carmen was a blubbering mess, just watching his hand bleed like it didn’t matter. “I’m-I’m,”

“Take a break, Carm,” Sydney says but her partner just shakes his head. “Carm—“

“Sydney, don’t—don’t make me take a fucking break, please.”

“You’ll need to clean up and make sure there’s no more blood,” Sydney told him. “I’m not fucking around,”

“Yeah,” he nods, putting his fist over his heart and drawing circles. Sydney nods and Carmy fixes his station. 

He couldn’t stop shaking, though. Even Tina saw how his hand trembled. What the fuck?

“Carmen,” 

“Yeah…just…just give me a second, please.” he nods, picking his knife again and doing everything perfectly. Like clockwork. He’s back. He’s back. He’s fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m alright. 

PART 2

AN: Thank you for the love! This is going to be a two-part fic because I love how everything is right now… Don’t forget to comment / reblog if you like it! I read every single little thing you guys type…even the hashtags.

TAGLIST: @kpopgirlbtssvt @morgthemagpie @hal3ynicol3 @1800-queen-trash

[verinarin]

Romcon Fluff | Ratio accidentally drinks your Love Serum ?!? | Tried to make this into a oneshot but I think it needs 2 more chapters, wdyt shall I continue?

Ruan Mei You accidentally made Veritas fell in love with you and he dislikes this festering feeling you have brought to him

support me on ko-fi ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Ruan Mei is one of your closest friends, yet you rarely meet her since most of the time she’s off somewhere pursuing her lifelong pursuit of divinity, yet she never missed gifting you presents for your birthday.

You smile as you carefully untie the silk ribbon on your present, you can’t help but guess whatever is inside is a bottle of perfume because you could already inhale the sweet scent before even opening the intricate wooden box

Once you lift the lid it reveals a beautifully carved glass vial filled with a lavender-coloured liquid, you carefully examine the shimmering liquid in awe, it smells so sweet like a cherry blossom cake, you notice a light blue envelope inside the box

You carefully place the vial back to read open the envelope, there’s a beautifully written letter addressed to you, her sincerest friend

“Dearest friend of mine, Happy belated birthday. Now I have prepared this gift of mine long before your birthday but since I’m currently in the middle of nowhere I have deduced that It’ll reach your doorstep approximately 2 days late and for that, I apologise,” you smile as you read her letter, ah she’s still the same

Upon reading the 3-page long heartfelt letter Ruan Mei reveals that she has been making this rejuvenating serum for you since earlier this year, she said she used your DNA and modified it so for your birthday she gave you an enchantment serum of some sort

She said to pour it into a hot beverage and not too much since it’s a highly concentrated serum, so you decided to brew a cup of tea while you text her thank you. Okay so a little bit goes a long way, you slowly pour the serum into the tea when all of a sudden the bell into your apartment rings, it shakes you and accidentally makes you pour a lot more than you intended to

You quickly flip the vial and close its lid, you silently curse as you put the vial back and rush towards the door, you open the door with a pout on your face, now when you see the person behind it makes you more annoyed than before, Veritas Ratio in the flesh

“Why haven’t you been answering my texts and even my calls ?, your lack of response is going to cost us both substantial damage,” ah yes your assigned partner for the annual Intelligentsia Guild research showcase, where you and the narcissistic prick in front of you are assigned together by the committee

“Damage ?, I was just enjoying my birthday. Our research is not going to somehow dissipate into thin air if I enjoy some time for myself,” you groan, you want to slam your door into that handsome prick’s face, but you can’t because he’ll sue you

He scoffs while looking down on you, without any hesitation he slides into your apartment, at this point you want to just pounce over him, but thankfully you’re in a good mood because your tea is waiting for you-

That entitled motherfucker—

When you turn your body you see him blissfully sipping on your tea, like he’s entitled to it, “Hmm this tea is exquisite, the colour is stunning too where did you get this from ?” he asks as he swirls the cup, your cup

“Veritas Ratio that was my birthday present ?!!” you yell as you storm towards him, you try to pry his hands away from your tea but sadly he’s way taller than you, “Well then I need you to tell the person that gifted you this tea to tell me where they acquire such complex tea blend,”

You’re fuming, you swear that there’s smoke coming off your head like some sort of chimney, he notices this and weirdly he thinks you’re cute, he can’t believe that his heart just skipped a beat when you pout at him, what an unusual feeling

“Stop pouting, you’re making my heart palpitate faster than usual,” Veritas groans which surprised you, what the hell was he saying ?

“What the hell are you implying ?!”  you scan his face, somehow this man who is well known to be rude and disrespectful is blushing profusely, what the hell happened here ?!

“You !, can you stop looking that beautiful basking underneath the sunlight it bothers me, I hate it,” he can’t believe he just said that out loud, what the hell is happening with him

“H-huh ?!?, what the fuck is wrong with you Veritas, I rather have you yell at me for fucking up some calculations than whatever this is,” you shriek feeling slightly disgusted and oddly flattered ?!?

“Well do you think I have the slightest idea what made my mind suddenly throw out my rationale out of the window and replace it with you instead ?!,” okay this is starting to freak you out because this feels too real, way too real is this a dream, please be a dream

You start to lightly slap your face to snap yourself out of this horrific nightmare, “This is no dream, I suggest you start to be responsible over this,” he leans forward and reaches out to your hand, he presses it towards his beating heart, he’s serious about how fast it was palpitating-

“W-what do you mean responsible ?!?, for what h-huh ?,” you try to pull your hand away but to no avail, it’s like he glued it down on his firm chest

“For these festering feelings that I don’t enjoy having nor experiencing, it must’ve been the tea I drank because before this I was quite normal when it comes to staring at that captivating face of yours. No, I mean that horrid face of yours that someone enchanted when illuminated by the sun,” Oh nous, it can’t be that tea can it ?

Oh !, Ruan Mei what the hell did you gift ?. Veritas could see your face reduce to a state of emotionless, “Don’t ignore me fool !,” he mutters as he now guides your hand to rest his head against your palm

“S-stop acting weird,” you stutter on your words, your confidence has been drained and now you’re left with red-tinted cheeks, how frustrating

“Can’t help it, I just want you to notice my presence,” he mumbles against your palm, slightly kissing it while talking, Oh my nous, Ruan Mei needs to fix whatever this is or at this rate, he can’t perform his task as your research partner

“Okay okay I need to somehow make an antidote for you,” you take a deep breath trying to think of something, but how can you when he’s there watching you with those puppy eyes

“Please do because, to be frank, I’m extremely uncomfortable with the way I just want to kiss that pink lips of—“ before he can continue you slap his mouth shut with your palm

“Shut up !!, don’t utter any more nonsense, just get out of here and don’t come back until I find a way to fix whatever this is,” you quickly push him towards the door, he’s adamant about staying by making things harder for you

“Can’t I just wait here and assist you? I might miss you if you kick me out, I mean no of course I wouldn’t miss your brilliant mind what am I saying of course I’ll miss you,” this man needs to be stopped, you can’t handle the contradictions that he’s spewing

“What do I need to do for you to get out !,” you huff as you wipe away your sweat, this man weighs like those sculptures he makes

“A kiss on the lips should suffice,” he smirks, why did he smirk?!?, never mind that you can’t deal with this nonsense anymore, you quickly drag him by the collar and press your lips together within a second you pull away from the kiss leaving him happily dumbfounded, you took this chance to hurriedly push him out the door and lock it

What the hell just happened ?!?

[st7rnioioss]

✧˚ · . train ride

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

warning: dom!matt, fem!reader, (light?) degrading, unprotected sex (guys don't do this, make sure to wrap it up🙏), idk bro, ur begging for him to stop.

word count: 2k (? i think)

DONT LIKE DONT READ

you and matt are on a train ride, but he teases u and fucks you in the public bathroom thing (idk wtf the toilets r called)

made this in school LMFAO anyways, hope you guys like it.

(btw, would any of u listen to it if i made a playlist to my posts? just a few songs that i think would be suitable to the fic?)

You and your boyfriend Matt were on the train. You had to travel for about 4 hours, so you were excited to spend some time with him, just you two alone, since you both often got busy. 

“Matt, I’m bored,” you whispered to him. “Hm,” he replied, one hand on your thigh, the other holding his phone. You turned to look at him, his focus on the phone in his hand.

“Seriously?” you asked, rolling your eyes at him, turning to look out the window instead. He noticed and turned his phone off.

Matt wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. “Sorry, baby,” he whispered into your neck. Your hand went up to play with his hair, tilting your head backward to kiss his cheek.

“It’s fine. I just want to spend time with you,” you smiled at Matt. He pulled away, leaning back in his seat. He reached his hand out to hold yours, smiling back at you. 

Matt knew exactly what he could do to "spend time" with you.

You turned from the window, reaching down in your bag to grab your book.

After reading for a bit, you felt Matt’s hand sneak from resting on your thigh, slowly making its way to your inner thigh. You looked up at him, whispering. “I’m trying to read, sir. Do you mind?” a playful smile on your lips. He acted as if he was thinking about your question, one of his eyebrows raised, followed by a stern “no”. You rolled your eyes at him, focusing back on your book.

༊*·˚

It didn’t take Matt 10 minutes to linger his fingers under your skirt, closer to your core slowly. You started to shift in your seat, repeatedly trying to cover yourself by coughing. You kept sending Matt looks, trying to make him stop. But of course, Matt had other plans. His index and middle finger made their way closer until he made contact with your clit through the fabric of your panties. His eyes were glued to your face, smirking himself, waiting for any sort of reaction from you. 

You inhaled sharply, trying not to make any noticeable movements since there were other people on the train, which Matt didn’t seem to care about. 

“Matt-” you warned him, his two fingers adding slight pressure against your clit. His only response was a quiet snicker. You tried your best to grab his wrist to get his hand off you, but he resisted.

Matt’s other hand went to your hair, tucking it behind your ear. 

“Let’s go to the bathroom,” he whispered. His whisper alone sent shivers down your spine. You looked at him for a moment, fed up with how he always got what he wanted.

You rolled your eyes at him, smiling because you deep down knew you also wanted to.

Matt grabbed your hand, and the both of you walked through the different wagons until you reached the toilet.

Luckily, there was no one in there, and nobody had noticed the two of you walking into the same toilet. Matt quickly locked the door behind you, his hands reaching for your cheeks. Your hands held onto his elbows as Matt kissed you roughly, not the sweet kiss he had given you earlier this morning.

His hands slowly went down your sides, gripping your hips to pull you closer. His sudden movement made you whimper quietly into his mouth, which only made Matt more eager.

“Take these off,” he demanded, his words still sweet, referring to your skirt and panties. You unzipped your skirt, slowly making its way down your thighs until it hit the floor. You did the same with your panties, your shirt still on. Meanwhile, Matt had positioned himself on the closed toilet seat, his erection clearly showing itself through his jeans.

“Now, sit on my lap,” he said, reaching his arms out for you to pull you closer to him. You positioned yourself on his lap, not able to hide the smile on your face. Matt’s hands rested on your thighs, massaging them. 

“My pretty, pretty girl,” he whispered, now kissing you just below your ear. He knew that was your soft spot. You let out an exhale in response, trying your best to tease him by not moaning or whimpering at all. He must have noticed, because his hands reached further up your thighs, kissing your rougher, making sure to leave small purple spots that would surely turn darker sooner. This time, you couldn’t resist. You whimpered quietly, biting your lip to not be too loud.

“C’mon, let me hear you, baby,” Matt murmured, his thumb reaching for your bottom lip, pulling it down gently. His action made you audibly whimper this time. 

“That’s it,” he smirked, kissing your neck again. Your hands rested on his shoulders, one of them grabbing his hair to pull it gently, you, still a whimpering a mess. You tried your best to best to find any sort of friction on your clit, his bulge beneath you not being enough.

Matt noticed, pulling away from the kiss, and tucking your hair behind your ear. You opened your eyes, looking down at him. He reached for his belt. You got up from him, making him able to pull his pants and boxers down.

You looked at his dick for a moment before stepping closer to him. He helped you position yourself back onto his lap, both your hands resting on his shoulder for support. Matt looked up at you when you had sat yourself down, his eyes gazing into yours. 

“Just take it slow,” he whispered, as you lowered yourself onto his dick, stretching you out. Your grip tightened as you sunk deeper, needing to catch your breath a few times. Matt calmed you down by massaging small circles on your hip.

As the pain turned into pleasure, you finally lowered yourself as much as you could. The both of you let out groans and whimpers. “Fuck. You feel so good,” Matt groaned into your ear.

He gripped your hips tighter, helping you lower and raise you off of him repeatedly. Your whimpers turned into moans, trying your best not to be too loud.

You started riding Matt more eagerly as his dick hit your sweet spot repeatedly.

“Someone's eager, huh?” Matt teased with a sly smirk on his lips. You couldn’t even respond to what he said, thinking of anything to say.

“You’re so cute when you try to think. That’s good baby. You don’t need to think, you just need to do as I say. Isn’t that right?” he said, the smirk being almost audible in his voice. You nodded, the whimpering taking over once again.  He thrusted up into you which made you moan louder. 

“Be quiet. You don’t want anyone to hear us, do you?” you shook your head. Your eyes were shut, one hand on his shoulder, the other one on the wall, fighting for support. Your mouth was wide agape, panting for air as his cock thrust into your pussy.

Matt’s grip was on your waist, rocking you back and forth as you sunk deeper onto him. His head fell back, groaning as he tightened his grip.

“Matt-” you gasped. “I’m gonna cum,” you panted, opening your eyes to look at him. He hesitated for a second. “Let go, baby,” he groaned, his one hand reaching for your clit. 

It didn’t take long for you to release all over him, throwing your head back. He reached for your mouth, covering it.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered, looking into your eyes. You slowly got off him, your legs feeling like jelly.

“Oh fuck-” you said, your hand reaching the wall for support. Matt chuckled at the sight. You went to grab your skirt and panties, but Matt cut you off.

“We’re not done here,” he said, standing up as well. You looked confused at him. “But Matt-” you said, snickering, pulling on your panties.

“Don’t make me rip those off you. Take them off,” he said, his voice stern. Again, you couldn’t believe you always made him get whatever he wanted, so you obeyed at took them off again.

“Now that’s better,” he said. “I want your hands on the counter of the sink. Bend over for me, baby,” he whispered into my ear, kissing your cheek,”

You gulped, unsure about what was about to go down. The counter was cold against your hot skin, making you shiver a bit.

Matt looked at you, his hands gliding from your hips up your waist, down to grab your ass.

“Now, be quiet, okay?” he groaned, lining his dick up at your entrance which made you whine.

Matt slowly pushed his cock into you. You bit your lower lip, squeezing your eyes shut, trying not to make any loud noises.

“You take me so well,” he said, cutting himself off with a groan as he pushed himself deeper into your slick pussy. The pain started spreading slowly. You let out a whine of pain, trying to close your legs to make it harder for Matt to enter you.

“Keep your fucking legs open. I’ll make it fit,” he said demanding. You quivered, opening them again slowly. He pushed his full length into you, making you gasp for air.

Matt started thrusting in and out for you, quickly making your legs shake slightly.

“Matt- oh my god-” you moaned, your grip tightening on the counter. The pain suddenly turned into pleasure, and your breaths got heavier.

“That’s right. Oh fuck- You're not gonna be able to walk straight for days when I'm done with you,” he whimpered, his thrusts getting deeper.

“Matt- fuck, you’re too deep. Please stop,” you moaned louder, your legs shaking more.

“Poor baby can barely take it, huh?” he teased, only thrusting harder into you.

You moaned again, your hips starting to slam into the counter in front of you.

“Matt- I’m close,” you whined, your head falling forward, squeezing your eyes shut. Without any warning, you came again.

“Holy fuck,” he moaned, still pumping into you.

“Please- please stop,” you whimpered, begging for it.

“Take it,” he said, his hand leaving your hips, moving to your lower abandonment. 

“You feel that baby? You feel my cock deep in your tight pussy?” he smirked, cutting himself off with a groan again, scrunching his nose.

You didn’t even moan audibly anymore. Your mouth was wide open, a bit of drool in the corner of your mouth.

“Matt, I can’t take it anymore,” you whimpered, biting your lip. His thrusts got sloppier, and you could tell he was close as well.

Again, you came with no warning. Your legs were trembling at this point, and you weren’t even sure you could stand up straight anymore.

“Oh fuck-” he said, the cum dripping down your inner thighs. The sight only could make him burst in less than eight seconds.

“Matt,” you begged for him to stop, still a moaning mess.

“Say my name again,” he groaned as he grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling it.

“Matt, please,” you moaned, knowing he was close.

“That’s it,” he moaned, his name still leaving your lips repeatedly. You could feel his cock starting to twitch,

“I’m gonna burst,” he whimpered, his hips bucking up into you. 

And he did. His warm cum filled you up as his head fell back, making him whimper.

“Fuck. You feel so fucking good,” he moaned again, letting go of your hair, pulling out of you with a "pop".

༊*·˚

You were both sitting down at your seats again, staring into the air, still trying to grasp what had just happened. You fixed your hair, occasionally sending small looks to Matt. He smiled, the type of cheesy smile.

You leaned in, whispering into his ear. “You look so good. Post-sex messed up hair, I like it,” you giggled, ruffling your hand into his hair, messing it up.

“Shut up. You’re gonna make me hard again,"

(i just noticed i fucking FORGOT to add the part where he fingers you🤣🤣😘 okay bye, imagine he fingers u when u sit on his lap)

[theminecraftbee]

task: answer the following question. do you believe in curses? respond as completely with relevant information as possible.

Grian: Well, that's a lie. This isn't a task. I know it's not a task, I set the things up! Not sure why we're getting a question as pointless as this one, but sure, mysterious scroll, I'll answer. There's no such thing as curses, unless you're Timmy, in which case it's funny, yeah? Besides, I didn't actually kill Etho. Even if that did count, self-fulfilling prophecies aren't the same thing as curses, and I know which one I fall under.

Joel: Do I believe in bloody curses what kind of question is that? Do I really get hearts just for answering this? This feels like a prank or something... well, whatever. There are no such thing as curses, except the Boogeyman curse, which I sort of had today, but it wasn't actually the same at all. A lot of the bloodlust, sure, but a lot more... Etho had to be the one to do it, huh? And it's not the same. Not comforting. That's a stupid thing to say actually. Take it out of wherever you're putting this. Cut it out of the recording. Comforting. Please. As if it were ever... Yeah, I'm done actually. Don't have a good answer. Go away.

Scott: What, other than Jimmy? Bless that man, he may not have died first, but he sure tried his best. Sure, I'll believe Jimmy is cursed. I mean, mostly he's just kind of stupid. Lovingly so. I mean, despite him being stupid, I put up with him, right? That seems like a complete answer to this question. Jimmy's an omen but we put up with him anyway. That's all.

Mumbo: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.

Pearl: Oh, I mean, I'm probably cursed. That's what everyone liked to say at one point. I think... I mean, I think this time I have good friends, which is nice. They don't think I'm cursed. And it's not like I--I mean, it's surprisingly fun, acting cursed! And I am just acting. Acting scary, blowing up dance floors, all of that. And I don't really have to this time, so... Maybe I'm not cursed? And since it's acting, it's not real? This is a weird question.

Etho: Oh, man, that's a question. Um, do I have to answer? Because I feel like if I say no, that's really just asking for it, but if I say yes, I have to explain myself. Uh, I think I'm abstaining, unless the zombie thing from earlier counts. That was scary and I hated it. Curses are scary and I hate them in general, but apparently I'm good at them, if you ask everyone else. Um, it's not the only thing I find scary that apparently I'm good at.

Scar: Why, of course I believe in curses! Look at poor, poor... Timbert? Timmy? Jim? Gosh, sorry, I'm very tired right now. That's more proof of curses, by the way! That I'm tired. I've been tired straight since the desert, let me tell you what. And that, my friends, is a curse like no other. What a terrible beast, loneliness is. Wish me luck breaking it, because it's not happening this season!

Cleo: Oh, you mean the thing people like to blame instead of their own actions? Nah. My soulbond was kind of a curse, I guess, but even that's at least half just... bad people. Bad relationships. Good ones, too. We're all just doing what you can, you know? No script, no curses, no characters, just... Oh, I hope everything turns out tomorrow. Sorry, that's unrelated. It's just nicer to hope than to preemptively blame things on curses that don't exist.

Impulse: Well, I mean, I didn't until you just asked me that, but now I feel like I should. Wouldn't that be nice? Being cursed instead of just sort of unlovable? Sorry, no, that's mean to Gem. I shouldn't say that about Gem, she's been good this season. Super, super cursed, mind you, in the like, game mechanic sense? But she's been good, no backstabbing or inability to get love involved. Um, and I guess that's not fair to Bdubs, kind of, except it also totally is and I haven't forgiven him. So I guess if they ask I said I believed in curses, and that's why my life keeps circling clocks? Don't put any of that other stuff down, I'm trying to work on that.

Lizzie: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.

Gem: I was just cursed for a task, but that probably isn't what you're asking about, right? I'm new, so I don't know! A task is a concrete thing to believe in, like bloodshed or victory or fun and games. You don't have to believe in those to know they're real, either! They just are, whether you like it or not. I understand that much!

Tango: Gah, don't talk to me about... Deep breaths. Look, I don't care if it's a curse, or if it's just me being really bad, or what, I'm not going out pointlessly this time. Jimmy managed not to die first, I can manage to not go out to a stray arrow or my own bomb or a misstep this time, right? Is that so much to ask?

Skizz: Huh? Curses? I mean, I don't think so, and to be totally honest I think it's kind of mean the way people sometimes rag on people about them. Everyone's got so many good things about them! Why do people like to focus on the unfortunate luck, huh?

Bdubs: Hah! Curses! Let me tell you about curses. When I see curses, I eat them for breakfast. I don't got curses, I've got better things to do! I've got my buddies with the Mounders, and I've got-well, I'd say keeping Etho safe, but he's being weird at me again this season. Not that it matters. It never matters. Etho and I, we're... The point is, that doesn't matter anyway, because I have the Mounders, and they're the ones who matter here. And because I'm a strong, independent Bdubs, who doesn't need anyone but my bow and my perfect, flawless fighting prowess! Sorry, what was the question? I've been thinking so much lately that it's just sort of made everything else pop out of my head, so it's hard to keep track. I'm sure I answered it flawlessly, though.

Martyn: Of course there are curses. That's half the fun for you lot, isn't it? Putting your little curses on us and watching us rail against them. Bet you think it's real cute to ask us what we think of the things, too. "Oh, what do you think of curses," like we have any control over them. Please. If I had any control over curses, Jimmy--or, well, no, I guess that one was technically broken, wasn't it? Sure doesn't feel like it. Point is, curses are bad, and they're definitely real, and I hate you for them, got it?

BigB: Look, man, if you're trying to get me to write my character out for you, just say so! I won't tell anyone. We can come up with a hole thing about holes and red tasks and the Backrooms together! It'll be fun! After all, you probably don't know what kind of curse to say I have, right? Haha, just kidding. I have no idea what I'm talking about. Luckily, neither does anyone else, so I think that evens out between the lot of us.

Jimmy: NO RESPONSE GIVEN.

[starlessea2]

If you still want Astarion requests, I’d love to see something with a Tav who’s really nervous to let Astarion bite? 🥺

Positively Starved (Astarion)

Pairing: Astarion x Reader [Baldur's Gate 3]

Summary: In spite of your nerves, you invite Astarion back for a bite; admiring the trust you've put in him, he promises to be gentle (Act 1 spoilers).

A/N I wrote this in under an hour as I wanted to play around with some requests! Let me know if you'd like to see more of these off-the-cuff oneshots! (Also, slight mention of blood in this one).

Masterlist

"You can feed on me tonight... if you'd like."

The words sprung from your mouth. They lingered in the air, each syllable punctuating over and over—ringing out through your shared connection.

You felt a cringe.

Where in the seven hells did that come from? Was one near-death encounter not enough?

Before you could attempt to splutter out any sort of explanation, you were met with Astarion's laugh. "How very generous, my dear! I was starting to wonder when you'd invite me back for a bite."

Blood pooled to your cheeks; you could feel it—see it in the way his eyes turned them a similar, darker shade.

As you ruminated on his words, your heart hammered in your chest. The silence was palpable. But just as you were about to open your mouth to dismiss the idea completely, the man was roused into action.

"You know... I never expected you to be so eager," he finally said. Your embarassment swelled tenfold. "Tell you what, when the others have turned in for the night, I'll come to your bedroll."

Immediately, your breath caught in your throat. You glanced around—far less subtly than you would have hoped. To anyone in earshot, it would have sounded like Astarion was propositioning you.

Well, he was, you quickly realised. Just for blood over sex.

"Right—okay," you stammered back. You hated how weak your voice sounded, so you took a moment to make it stronger. "Come find me later then," you told him, before returning to sifting through your supplies.

You tried to calm your nerves, but as you turned to leave, you did not miss the way Astarion's fangs poked through his grin, nor how his eyes trailed your neck. Your legs almost buckled.

◤━━━━━━━━━━━◥ ◤━━━━━━━━━━━◥

As night fell, you found yourself, and your bedroll, tucked away in a small stone outhouse on the edge of camp. You'd discovered it earlier in the day, when looting storage boxes for odds and sods. It was cold, and damp—but at least it wasn't dark.

Amber glow lit up the space; you'd illuminated it with a few low-wicked candles as you waited for Astarion. In this warm light, you tried to make yourself comfortable on your bedroll.

"Setting the mood are we?"

Astarion's voice echoed through the outhouse. Although you tried not to acknowledge it, your heart immediately quickened in response—as did your mind race.

Your eyes followed him as he came inside, closing the old oak door behind him. "I must admit, I didn't expect this..." He waved a hand before him, inspecting the dripping candles, and your poor attempts at cleaning the place up.

"How come?" you asked.

His smile sent a shiver down your spine. "Well, aside from me getting a tad carried away the first time we did this... I could also feel your thoughts."

Even in the dim light, you could see his half-lidded expression, as though he was reliving the moment behind tired eyes.

He went on, "Excitement, yes, my dear. But also flighty as a bird."

Your brows furrowed. Part of you felt indignant, craved to prove him wrong by baring your neck without an ounce of apprehension. The other part wondered how he already knew you so well.

You tried to muster a reply, but it was Astarion who spoke first. "As much as I appreciate the offer, you don't have to do this, you know."

In that moment, everything seemed to still. You could only imagine the state of disbelief painted on your face. Throughout your time together, that must have been the most selflessness Astarion had ever strewn into a sentence.

But now was not the time to comment on it.

"I know," you said instead. "And I won't lie to you. I'm not sure exactly why I sought you out."

You sat up and reached for Astarion's hand. Something flashed over his face, but even so, he allowed you to guide him down to your bedroll.

"Perhaps you were right. Perhaps there is a spark of curiosity in me—excitement, even." His eyes widened, set alight by your confession. "Or maybe, and I know you won't like it..."

With a raised brow, he coaxed you, "Go on."

"When you told me about Cazador—" You paused for Astarion scowl, watching the lines materialise on his porcelain skin. "Well, I just thought how horrible it must have been to be constantly..." You sought out the word. "Hungry."

Astarion's lips parted ever so slightly.

Are you hungry? You shared the thought with him.

"Positively starved," came the reply.

Then he leaned in, casting shadows over your candle-lit skin. To any onlooker it might appear he was preparing for a kiss. But you weren't that naive.

"Not—" Your hand found his chest, the exposed skin peeking out of his shirt collar. "Not too much," you whispered.

Your eyes caught his in a silent plea. Astarion answered by taking your hand and pressing it into your bedroll. "No need to worry, my dear," he said, hot against your ear. "I promise to be gentle."

Your breath hitched. That wasn't the first time you'd heard those words spill from his pretty lips; you just hoped he'd be true to his word on this occasion.

You kept your eyes tightly shut as Astarion found your neck. As his fangs scraped your skin, you took a fistful of his hair between your fingers.

He bit down.

You tried not to cry out. The sensation was one you could hardly describe: a sharp sting followed by... euphoria?

No that wasn't right.

But all you could confidently say was that Asatrion's body lay hot over yours, and his lips were soft, but not quite as gentle as promised.

As he drank from you, you saw stars behind your eyes.

Your body thrummed as he suckled on the tender skin of your neck. The sounds he made were nothing short of sinful; they elicited a strained sort of moan from behind your own lips.

You felt Astarion's hand tighten over yours. He took more from you, worrying your skin between his teeth, coaxing more of your gasps to surface.

Pleasure mingled with pain coursed through your shared connection—a deep longing on either end. You cried out, and quickly, Astarion pulled away.

Feeling the loss of warmth, you opened your eyes. You were dazed, but even then, you noticed his cherry-red lips, tinted with your blood.

You blinked, trying to rid your vision of its blurred edges.

"Are you alright, my dear?" Astarion asked. He sat up immediately, inspecting your neck and overall complexion. "You're looking a little... flushed," he concluded.

A tired laugh escaped you. "My blood runs hot," you managed to say.

"Indeed it does," he agreed. Then he promptly stood up and dusted himself off.

A pang of hurt struck you.

It must have been strong enough to have travelled through your shared connection, since Astarion glanced back almost immediately.

"Don't look at me like that," he said, exasperated. "I'm just going to fetch some water. Try not to move until the dizziness passes."

Your mouth fell ajar. A wave of shyness overcame you. Had it been that obvious you wanted him to stay?

Apparently it had, so you tentatively rolled over, hiding your face from the man. "Thank you," you mumbled into your bedroll.

You heard the door creak open, and Astarion's footsteps damper. "No, my dear," he replied. "Thank you."

[wwilsonbarness]

I messed up.. (part 2)

pairings:  bucky barnes x reader

summary: Bucky tries to apologise for the things he said... do you accept?

warnings: angstttt, some fluff, anxiety?, idkk i think that's all :)

word count: 2535

a/n: I'm so sorry it took so long for part 2. I hated what I first wrote and my week ended up super busy. I'm so scared to post this lmao I hope it doesn't disappoint!

Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) 

I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.

part one

masterlist

Sam insisted you took it easy for the rest of the night, he brought you dinner in bed, checked on you every hour, and brought you everything you could need. You appreciated it but at the same time you just wanted to lay in bed alone and cry. For the first few hours it was out of sadness, seeing Bucky that angry with you made your chest ache, the thought of disappointing him was something you couldn’t handle, but as the hours passed the sadness slowly turned into anger. The more you replayed his words in your mind the angrier you got, how could he imply you didn’t care about your baby? 

Ever since you were a little girl yourself you had wanted to be a mom, it was your dream and Bucky knew that.You had both spent countless nights talking for hours on end about how excited you were to have a baby together, you thought he was excited too but were you and your baby just a burden to him? A problem he had to sort out? Did he even want this?

Hours had passed and you were starting to drift to sleep when you heard voices outside your bedroom door. Part of you wanted to stay in bed and ignore whoever it was but when you heard Bucky’s voice you jump out of bed. 

“I just want to check if she's okay.” You hear Bucky’s voice through the door, slightly louder than he normally speaks, a clear sign he was getting frustrated. You hear a second voice but you can’t figure out who it is until you move closer, it was Sam.

“You… chance..screwed up..” It’s muffled but you can guess what he said. You keep walking closer to the door and go to open it as you hear a third voice. 

“Barnes, you need to leave her be, you’ve done enough tonight.” That was definitely Tony, he was the only one to call Bucky by his last name. 

You weren’t ready to face Bucky yet but you didn’t want to have to listen to them arguing any longer so you opened the door, to be faced with Bucky standing right in front of you, Tony to the side of him and Sam a few doors down outside his room. 

“Can you guys argue somewhere else please?” Bucky’s head flys round at the sound of your voice. He instantly looks you up and down, focusing on your bump for a few seconds longer than anywhere else, which reminds you of how he had looked at you earlier. You bring your hand up to your stomach without realising. 

“Doll, are you okay?” You could see the concern in his eyes this time but you couldn’t get past the anger you were feeling. 

“I’m fine, Bucky. I just want to sleep so can you three go somewhere else if you’re gonna shout at each other.” Bucky’s face started to lighten up in relief for a second but tensed up again as you continued. 

“I’m sorry, can we please talk?” He starts to walk closer to you but you flinch and move backwards into your room. You weren’t scared of him but you couldn’t handle this tonight. Bucky’s face drops as he watches you move away from him. “Doll I just want to-” 

“I don’t have the energy tonight Bucky, please can you just leave me alone.” You look at each other for a few seconds before you plead again, “Please.” Bucky slightly nods his head but you don’t wait for any other type of response before you close your door. 

You lean your head against the door as it shuts, taking a deep breath in as an attempt to keep yourself calm. You hear Bucky and Tony throw a couple more sentences at each other, resulting in Tony asking F.R.I.D.A.Y to lock your door to anyone but him and Sam. You didn’t want to shut Bucky out but the things he said to you really hurt your feelings and if you were to talk to him about it now you would end up saying things you regret. You just wanted and needed time to yourself to calm down. You climb back into bed and go to sleep to try and forget about the whole situation, it takes a few hours but sleep finally washes over you. 

You could only sleep for a few hours before your morning sickness hit. Without Bucky there to help you like every other morning it was a lot harder to deal with. After sitting beside the toilet for a few minutes you manage to run yourself a bath and relax for a bit. You wanted to put off talking with Bucky as long as you could, you knew he’d already be awake as he was every day, probably in the kitchen making breakfast. 

You hear a knock at your door as you're in the bath which brings you out of your thoughts about Bucky, but when you reach the door all that’s there is a tray with waffles, fruit and orange juice on it. You pick it up and place it on your desk to find a note, recognising Bucky’s handwriting straight away you pick it up.

I’m sorry for everything I said and did. I want to make it up to you when you are ready to talk. I know you’ve probably been unwell this morning so I hope this makes you feel better. I put some gummy bears on the waffles since I know you’ve been craving sweet things. I love you and baby so much - Buck x 

You feel your eyes tear up as you read each word, and even though you’re mad at him all you want in this moment is for Bucky to hold you. You quickly get dressed and start to walk towards the kitchen, hoping he’s still there. To your luck he was still hovering around the cooker cleaning up his mess from cooking breakfast.

“Buck?” His head whips around at lightning speed to the sound of your voice. He takes one step towards you before stopping himself, remembering how you reacted last night. The last thing he wanted to do was scare you more.

“Doll, are you okay?” 

“Mhmm, can we talk?” Bucky lets out a huge breath he wasn’t aware he was holding as you speak, he wants nothing more than to talk to you. 

“Of course doll, wanna sit over here?” He points his hand towards the couch in the corner of the room. You nod your head and walk over. When you both sit down it’s quiet for a few minutes, both of you equally scared to break the silence until Bucky speaks. 

“Are you scared of me?” He asks, tone soft as if he’s scared of what the answer might be.

“No, Bucky I’d never be scared of you.” His shoulders start to relax in relief but not for long as you continue. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not mad at you.” 

“I am so so sorry y/n, I promise you I didn’t mean anything I said, I was just scared which I know isn’t an excuse but it’s the truth. My worst fear is losing you, and now with the baby on the way I’m even more scared of losing you both. When I heard Sam telling Tony and Nat that you were seen with a bump it was.. It was like my brain just took over, I kept imagining you being hurt and I just wouldn’t be able to live with myself if that happened. I can’t lose you, either of you. If you let me, I promise I will try my best to make things back the way they were.” 

Bucky’s speech took you off guard, you were expecting and hoping to speak first so you could get everything out while you felt able to, you had to try so hard to hold back your tears. You could tell he was sorry and honestly part of you just wanted to say it’s okay, tell him you forgave him, that everything was fine but the other part of you was still focused on his horrible words yesterday, and you knew things would never be okay again unless you told him how he made you feel. “I just need to get this off my chest Bucky, I know you’re sorry but I still need to say this. He nods his head to show he understands you.

You take a deep breath and prepare yourself to speak. “First off, I just want to make it completely clear, that” you bring your hand to your stomach and cup the small bump you have, “I love and care so much for this baby, more than anything or anyone else in the world. So when you said that to me, said that I.. That I didn’t care, it really really hurt me. I know I went against what we agreed, I know I scared you, but that didn’t give you a right to talk to me the way you did.” 

“I kno-” Bucky tries to respond but you don’t let him. Your voice is beginning to shake and there are tears starting to fall from your eyes. Bucky’s heart was breaking at seeing you so upset.. all because of him.

“No, please let me finish. I.. I know you care about me and our baby, I know you do but you went way too far. You were so worried about other people hurting me you didn’t realise that you were the one doing it.” 

You can hear Bucky swallow deeply as he listens, his eyes growing wetter with every word, it was hard for him to hear but he knew everything you were saying was true. He had done the one thing he swore he never would, he hurt you and he wasn’t sure he’d ever forgive himself for it. “You promised me that you would never hurt me, and I believed you.” Your voice cracks with your last words, and the tears finally escape. “You made me feel like we were burdening you, like we were just a problem to you, something you had to deal with.”

Bucky desperately wants to reach out and comfort you but he stops himself. He keeps his eyes locked with yours and you nod your head a little, a silent way of telling him that it was his turn to talk. He nods back and readies himself, he had a lot he wanted to say but now he’d heard how much he had hurt you, it was like his brain had forgotten everything. 

“You have to know that you both are the most important people in my life, you could never be a burden to me, ever. I'm so sorry I made it feel that way. Y/N I know I hurt you, I want.. I need you to know that when I made that promise I meant it, I’ve never intended to hurt you, and for the rest of my life, as long as you’ll have me I promise, with every single part of me that I will care and love for you and our baby.” You are starting to choke up at what he is saying but try so hard not to let it show. 

“I’m not going to lie to you, I’ll always be scared of something happening to you both and nothing’s gonna ever change that, but I know now that I need to find other ways of working through that. I’ll do anything it takes for you to forgive me. I want to be there for you and our baby forever.” He looks down to your bump, his gaze softens, a slight smile grows, and with a quiet, soft voice he continues. 

“I can’t wait to see you be a mom, you’re gonna be the best there is. I really mean it, our baby is so lucky to have you as a parent.” When he looks up he tries to understand how you’re feeling but your face is pretty much blank, you were in shock. You’d only been in two relationships before Bucky but not once had either of them apologised for something they did, now Bucky was practically begging you to forgive him, you didn’t know how to take it. You just knew you couldn’t lose him.

“Buck.. As much as I hate how you spoke to me, I don’t want to let this argument get between us, I want things to change. I know you are scared and I understand that.. I’m scared too, but we can get through it together. We are strong enough to not let this break us apart, okay?” 

Bucky lets out a huge breath he didn’t even realise he was holding in. “Doll, I want nothing more than for us to be okay.” 

You stand up and put your hand out towards him, “Come on, I got you something.” He hesitantly grabs your hand, and follows you to your room. Just as you reach the door he stops, and drops his hand out of yours. “Bucky.. It’s okay you can come in.” 

“Are you sure?” He asks hesitantly.

“I’m positive.” He smiles slightly at your answer then follows you in.

“I got youu…” You trail your words out as you dig for his gift. “This.” You pass him the teddy, expecting to smile but instead he frowns, rubbing his thumb over each word as he reads it. 

“You don’t like it?” you ask him, taking a seat next to him. 

“I do,” He forces a smile out, “I’m just worried I won’t be a good dad. I’m just scared doll.” He looks up to you again and sees your eyes still glossy, and he feels he has to defend his words. “I am excited, please know I am. I just don’t wanna mess up again.” He reaches out to touch your stomach and you see him hesitating so you put your hand on top of his and gently push it onto your stomach.

“It’s gonna be okay Buck, I trust you.” You lay your head on his shoulder and cuddle into him, “We’re gonna be okay.” 

“I love you both so much.” 

“And we love you too.” Just as you finish speaking your stomach rumbles, which startles Bucky.

“Oh my god. Was that the baby??” 

You had to hold in your laughter as you replied to him, it was way too early for the baby to kick. “No Bucky, I’m just hungry.” He follows your gaze to the tray with the breakfast he made you. 

“Dolll… you didn’t eat?” You shake your head and Bucky stands up and brings it to bed.”Wanna share?” 

“Of course.” He picks up a gummy bear but before he can put it in his mouth you grab it.

“Hey!” He looks at you confused. 

“Sorry,” you say between your giggles, “you aren't getting any of the gummy bears, baby wants all of them.” 

“Oh yeah? Baby wants all of them? Sureee.” You were both laughing now, as you tried to get all the gummy bears before him.

tags: (tagging everyone who was interested, sorry if I miss anyone!)

@missvelvetsstuff @learisa @pattiemac1 @satanstittyss @opheliabarnes @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @kandis-mom @lokislady82 @k4t13l0u1s3 @jbbarnesgirl @nikkivillar @sarahjoestewy-blog @aboobie @queerqueenlynn @shabanggg @topguncultleader @wintrsoldrluvr @invalid-croissant @ada728 @that-girl-named-alex @spoopiloops @mayusenpai666 @paarthurnax59 @cl7ire @hereforfun22-blog @almosttoopizza @trixiekaulitz @aweleyirene @blackwood-bodecker-housewife @mavrellover91 @yeselmolovesyou

[solarmorrigan]

Hands Where I Can See Them, Part 6

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

The days pass like cold mud – slow, uncomfortable, and relentless.

But they do pass.

Eddie had said he could give Steve the time he needed, and he’d meant it; he would wait out the two weeks and be there on the other side to talk to him. To hope for a second chance.

They see each other here and there, mostly in passing: Steve comes to pick a few of the kids up from a gaming session; Eddie stops in at Family Video with Jeff, Gareth, and Oliver to grab a movie (where Jeff and Steve exchange a surprisingly friendly greeting); they occupy separate sides of the room at a group dinner.

Each time, Eddie is sure to at least acknowledge and wave at Steve, in spite of any protective hovering and scowling Robin might be doing if she happens to be present. Steve gives cautious nods in return at first, but as they near the deadline, he’s returning Eddie’s distant greetings with a hesitant smile and that ridiculous little finger-wiggle wave that Eddie had been reluctantly charmed by in the beginning.

And in the meantime, Eddie plots.

He is not, by nature, an optimist (strangely, between the two of them, that’s Steve’s area), but in this instance, he plans for the best: the idea that Steve will say yes and let Eddie take him on a proper date. And as improvisational as Eddie likes to be, he’s also a veteran dungeon master and plotter of all sorts of campaigns; if you want long-term plans to go off without a hitch, it pays to be prepared.

So, he plots.

He brainstorms and makes lists of all of Steve’s favorite things and schemes out elaborate romantic gestures and draws on all the knowledge he’s retained from the romcoms he’d whined about having to watch with Steve but had always given in over when Steve gave him that puppy-eyed look that Eddie has no defense against.

(And somehow, he’d continued to think they were just friends. His lack of awareness should be studied as a scientific anomaly.)

He thinks Steve would be proud of his accumulated work (and Eddie himself isn’t ashamed of it, but all the same, he makes sure to hide the notebook where none of the guys will ever, ever stumble across it, because they would never, ever let Eddie live it down).

In any case, the ticking down of two weeks finally comes to an end, and Eddie stands in front of the phone earlier than he’d normally care to be awake, hoping that his work will pay off.

Steve picks up before the fourth ring, just like he always does, and answers the phone like a dork, just like he always does.

“Harrington residence, Steve speaking.”

This is where Eddie normally makes a joke – says he’d been trying for the funeral home and asks if Steve happens to have a shovel and some time on his hands; says he thought he’d had the number for the Hawkins Gentleman’s Club and asks if Steve is much of a dancer; once, he’d even affected a terrible New York accent and spun some lines about how he’d been trying to call a speakeasy. He can always hear the laughter caught behind Steve’s dry responses to his nonsense, and he always loves it.

But now is not “normally,” and Eddie only just manages to sound like himself as he replies, “Steve. Just the Harrington I was hoping would speak.”

“Eddie,” is all Steve says for a moment; he sounds almost surprised, but not displeased. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Eddie says back. “So, I know punctuality has never been my strong suit, but it’s, uh. It’s been two weeks. Pretty much on the dot. And you said I should come talk to you again, so…”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, no, did you – You can come over. If you want to talk, still,” Steve says – stammers, really, like he’s been caught off-guard, like he really hadn’t been expecting Eddie to call.

“Well, if I didn’t change my mind in two weeks, I’m not gonna change my mind in the fifteen minutes it takes to get to your house,” Eddie says.

“Sure,” Steve says, a little steadier now. “Yeah, I’ll see you in a bit, I guess.”

“You definitely will,” Eddie assures him. “See you in a bit, Steve.”

“Yeah. Yes. Bye, Eddie.”

It’s awkward, but – it’s something.

The only reason Eddie doesn’t break an egregious number of traffic laws on his way to Steve’s house is because he simply couldn’t bear the irony of getting arrested now, of all times. With his luck, he’d get sent up the river and Steve would be left waiting and waiting at his house before coming to the conclusion that Eddie had never really cared about him after all, only to be found surprised and jaded several years later when Eddie is finally released from prison and makes his first stop the Harrington house and – Christ, Eddie’s had romance on the brain too long. He’s going to have to binge reread Lord of the Rings or something to get his head back on straight.

He pulls his head out of the clouds and his van into the Harrington’s ridiculously massive driveway and heads up to the door with a vibrating surplus of energy sustained entirely by nerves and determination.

It seems like he’s not the only one running on anxiety power, though, based on how quickly the door opens after Eddie rings the bell.

It’s the first time Eddie’s really seen Steve up close since the trailer two weeks ago. He looks– better. He’s still tired, Eddie can tell; he’s got that slightly droopy look around his eyes and an almost painful set to his jaw that’s nearly impossible to spot if you don’t know what to look for – and most people don’t (but Eddie’s spent a lot of time learning Steve, even if he hadn’t picked up all the right tells). But he still looks better, and Eddie finds himself relieved.

“Hey, there,” he says, giving Steve a nod. “Just happened to be in the neighborhood, y’know. Thought I’d drop by.”

Steve shakes his head, a tiny smile quirking up at one corner of his mouth. “Come in, jackass.”

“Fine way to treat your guests,” Eddie drawls in return, gratified when Steve’s smile grows just a tiny bit more.

He takes off his shoes at the entryway (Steve hardly ever asks anyone to take off their shoes, because worrying about the state of your floors isn’t cool, but it bothers him all the same, and so Eddie takes them off) and follows Steve through to the living room, where they both perch awkwardly on the couch and sit in an equally awkward silence for about thirty seconds.

“So… you said I should come talk to you,” Eddie says finally.

“I did, yeah.” Steve nods.

“You said to tell you if this was still something I wanted,” Eddie goes on.

“I did, yeah,” Steve says again. “And… you’re here.”

“I told you I wouldn’t change my mind, Steve.” Eddie’s hand twitches, almost instinctively reaching out for a spot on Steve’s knee, or around his wrist, or threaded through his fingers, but he doesn’t think he can take Steve freezing up or pulling away again. “This – you, us – I still want it. I want to do it right. If you’ll give me the chance, I want to treat you how you should be treated.”

Steve nods. “Okay.”

Eddie blinks. “Okay? As in – just, yeah, okay?” He knows he’s not making much sense, but he’d been sort of prepared to have to make his case – to extol the virtues of the perfect dates he had planned, to sing the praises of all the things he knows now that he should appreciate about Steve, to lament the loss of trust and ease between them, but instead Steve is just sitting there, watching him with a funny sort of smile on his face.

“I was… I was never going to say no, Eddie.” Steve shrugs. “I just really needed you to think about it. To make sure this—a real relationship with… with me—is really what you wanted. Because if it’s not, if you took it back again, I don’t think I’d– I just really needed you to be sure.”

“Steve,” Eddie says, low and serious, “I have never been more sure of anything in my life. A real relationship with you is exactly what I want.”

Steve’s smile twitches, changes into something a little more familiar, a little warmer. “Okay.”

“You’re never gonna regret it, sweetheart,” Eddie says, can’t help bouncing a little in his seat as his nerves turn to excitement, to elation. “I have the corniest, most romantic dates planned, I swear, I’m going to knock your socks off. We’ll unlock your inner Molly Ringwald.”

Rolling his eyes, Steve shakes his head at Eddie. “You really don’t have to do all that. I’m not– putting you through a trial, or whatever, we can just go back to what we were doing, right? Just with… I dunno, more awareness.”

“Noooo, no.” Eddie shakes his head right back. “You said you didn’t want to pretend nothing ever happened, and you shouldn’t have to. I want to do this, Steve. Let me take you on a real date.”

Something unreadable flashes across Steve’s face, and suddenly his smile is wrong again. Sort of plastic – like he’s trying, but it’s not quite reaching his eyes. But before Eddie can ask what’s wrong, Steve is shrugging.

“If you insist…”

“I most certainly do,” Eddie says firmly. “I’m gonna romance the shit out of you.”

At that, Steve releases a helpless snort of laughter, and the plastic smile is gone, blown away by a real one.

“You’re making a super good argument for it,” Steve says, and Eddie grins.

“Aren’t I?” He bats his eyelashes. “So tell me: you free on Friday night?”

“I’m working, actually. Someone has to dole out dumb romances to other people out on dates,” Steve says drily, as if he himself hasn’t seen most of the films he’s maligning.

Eddie hums. “Saturday?”

“I could probably get someone to cover my shift,” Steve hedges, teasing and flirty and everything Eddie’s missed in the last few weeks.

“So you’ll be free?” Eddie asks.

“As a bird – as long as that bird isn’t a robin, considering who’s going to have to cover for me,” Steve says, and Eddie pulls a grimace.

“Yeah, maybe don’t tell her why you need the shift covered. I get the feeling she wouldn’t be as agreeable if she knew I was involved,” he says.

“I don’t think Robin’s ever been agreeable in her life, and she’d probably resent the accusation.” Steve smirks. “But as long as she doesn’t think I’m sneaking away to see you, and if I take the Monday morning shift she really hates, I don’t think it’ll be a problem. Let’s plan for Saturday?”

“Saturday it is!” Eddie pops up off the couch, both unwilling to sour the mood by overstaying his welcome, and suddenly overflowing with the need to set preparations in motion. “Six o’clock, sharp! I’ll pick you up.”

“Do I get to know where we’re going?” Steve asks, one eyebrow cocked.

“Absolutely not. The surprise is part of the experience,” Eddie says.

“Dress code, at least?” Steve wheedles, and Eddie supposes that’s fair.

“Casual. And bring a jacket,” Eddie says.

Both of Steve’s brows go up now, as he rises from the couch to follow Eddie back out towards the door. “Telling someone to bring outerwear to a date is usually a red flag, man,” he says, watching as Eddie shoves his shoes back on.

“But you love being outside,” Eddie counters, glancing up at Steve with a grin.

“I,” Steve pauses, blinking at him. “I guess.”

“And no more hints,” Eddie says, rising from the floor and reaching for the door handle. “I’ll see you on Saturday?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, his voice warming around a small, pleased smile, “I’ll see you on Saturday.”

“Can’t wait.” Eddie throws one last grin at him before stepping out into the brisk, late fall air.

He doesn’t stop smiling the whole way home.

Part 7

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[mariofyuu]

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝, 𝐁𝐨𝐝𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥

[𝐘𝐮𝐭𝐚 𝐎𝐤𝐤𝐨𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐗 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫] [𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐃𝐚𝐲]

"In a world where I could lose you at any moment, I want to make tonight count. So please, give all of yourself to me. For I love you purely. My mind, my body, my soul. All of it belongs to you."

✰Rating: NSFW 18+ MDNI

✰Summary: It's Valentines Day, and your long term boyfriend Yuta Okkotsu would like to take you out on the best date of your life. Just what sort of surprises could he have in store for you?

✰W/C: 5.2k

✰C/W: Oral(Fem! Receiving), Hotel Sex, Teasing, Flower Language, Marriage Proposal, Mostly fluff with a small bit of smut + hurt/comfort at the end

✰A/N: Happy Valentines Day!!! Yuta is aged up to be in his early to mid 20's, sometime after High School. Now do enjoy Yuta being an absolute love sick fool of a boyfriend. Read the 'extra notes' at the end for flower meanings.

"That was so good~" you sighed, sinking into the passenger seat of the car your boyfriend had rented for the night.

In pure honesty, you didn't even know he could drive until earlier that evening. When he'd covered your eyes with both of his hands, your ears tingling at the sounds of his tiny giggles as he led you outside your shared apartment.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love."

The phrase was said in the same gentle voice that you'd fallen for all those years ago when you were still a teenager. That same soft tone.

Your now unobstructed gaze fell onto him holding a bouquet of Red Tulips laced with Baby's Breath, a keychain dangling from his fingers. He handed the flowers to you sheepishly. Even after all this time of being together, Yuta's humble attitude never seemed to wane. He could buy you the world and still make a face that pleads, 'You deserve more'.

"I thought these would be more to your liking than red roses," he started to speak, reaching a delicate finger to trace along the petals of one of the vibrant flowers. "They have a similar meaning though." Tired eyes closed as a smile came to his features. Cheeks still dusted pink, he went to cup yours in his free hand. He'd done his research early into your relationship. What you liked, what you loved; even learning flower language for occasions like this. He spared no expense when it came to gifting you.

"They're perfect" came your response in the form of a hum, head tilting down to breathe in the pleasing aroma of the flowers. Only when you raised your face did you see the car parked behind him.

You had mentioned it about six months ago, how you'd love to go on long drives with him instead of using public transport.

"Sure, it's convenient enough.." You mumbled while you washed that night's dishes. "But imagine all the fun we could have if one of us owned a car! We could go out whenever we want, wherever we want. Like to the ocean!"

It was well known amongst all of your peers that you were rather spontaneous. Always groaning at the fact you had to ask permission before leaving campus. Even now that you were far more mature and grown, you still had that streak in you. Yuta, of course, adored it. Something that had intimidated him during your friendship had become refreshing as the years rolled by. Nothing was ever boring with you.

He followed the trail of your eyes behind him to the fancy looking vehicle. His hand went to the back of his neck as you squealed.

"You remembered!!!" Tears welled up in the corners of your eyes. Possibly from how wide you were smiling, or maybe it was excitement. But either way, your reaction was all the man needed to know he'd done his job.

"It's rented, but I figured it'd be fun?" He cocked his head to the side and you stood on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek. "It will be so. Fun." You emphasized your words with an exaggerated pause, and like the gentleman that he is, Yuta opened the passenger door for you to slide into the car.

The ride to your favorite restaurant was relaxing. Your fingers tapped at your phone screen to connect to the car’s bluetooth. Familiar music filled the small space as Yuta drove smoothly, causing you to smirk.

“How long have you even had your license for?” The question was playful but your boyfriend took it seriously, blinking a few times to think before replying.

“I got it right after my 18th birthday, Gojo said it would be useful in case I have more missions overseas.” He said while tapping his index finger on the steering wheel to the beat of one of the both of your favorite songs. “He actually gifted me a car that year too, but I returned it. How was I supposed to accept a present like that?”

The two of you laughed together at your teacher’s shenanigans. Though at times you wished Yuta to be a bit more selfish, you couldn’t deny this part of him was charming. You could vividly imagine him panicking at such an expensive gift, waving his hands and stuttering just like he would when you’d first met. The memory made warmth fill your chest as you watched him from your spot in the passenger seat.

During your first few months of knowing Yuta, the last thing you would’ve expected was for him to end up as your boyfriend of 5 years. He was timid and jumpy, but showed so much will to survive that it made you feel a bit overwhelmed. Maybe it’d started back then. The feeling in your stomach that slowly grew with time and eventually made its way to your heart. It was difficult to pinpoint when you’d fallen in love with him, but he spoke of it like it was the most grand realization.

“I woke up after Ieiri-san healed me from a difficult mission, and you were asleep sitting up, face down on the clinic bed by my legs.” He’d explained after confessing to you.

“I knew the moment you opened your eyes that I was in love with you.” He spoke that sentence without a single stutter. “I’ve.. probably felt this way for a long time before that though.” He smiled oh so gently, and then you knew you were a goner. Instantaneously, you felt yourself melt, and since that moment you’ve been his. In mind, body, and soul you became Yuta’s. Even the slightest touch now lingered, every breath he took became precious, and whatever words left his lips gained meaning. That sort of unbreakable connection; the bond that kept you up at night with both worry and excitement, made even the most hellish of missions bearable.

Because he’d be waiting for you afterwards.

The sound of his voice brought you back from your reminiscing, a smooth and clear chime you’d never grow tired of.

“We’re here, leave the flowers in the back and I’ll help you out.” With a click he pulled the keys from the ignition and got up from the front seat to open your door again for you. Hooking your arm in his, you laid your head on his shoulder for a moment. The familiar scent of his cologne on his shirt’s collar caused your skin to tingle as you walked arm in arm into the restaurant.

Once the two of you were seated you ran your hand across the velvety surface of the table cloth. Taking a moment to look down at the promise ring that decorated your left ring finger. Yuta’s gaze followed and a small smile came to his lips.

“I’ll give you an even better one someday soon, promise.” He mused before bringing your hand to his mouth to place a kiss upon your fingers.

“Womanizer~” You chided, earning a pout from him until you both started to giggle.

Your dinner was spent chatting about mundane things, mixed in with laughter and gazes that stuck for a bit too long. Yuta’s eyes always looked a tad tired. Even if you’d make him go to bed early, or bribe him into taking a nap with you, the dark circles that lined his lower lashes never diminished. Dark blue irises that occasionally almost showed black peered up at you while you ate your dish. Taking note of every tiny reaction with a sense of gratitude. How lucky he was to share moments like these with you. How blessed he was to be the man who had the honor of pampering you.

Teasing your boyfriend has been one of your favorite pastimes since high school. While thoughts of adoration and admiration filled his mind, yours was clouded with ideas on how to get him going during your dinner date. It was only fair. After all, your love was mutual. If he made your heart beat so fast with one upwards glance, then it was only right for you to give him the same treatment.

As the hour passed it was now time for dessert. Yuta wasn’t picky with food as long as it had a pleasing texture. Only learning to cook after the two of you moved in together so he could make your favorite meals. However you’d gotten him to take a liking to sweets by baking for him so often. He swears he’d have gained weight if it wasn’t for how physically demanding his work is.

So when the chocolate cake you ordered arrived, there were two slices instead of the usual one. Your eyes light up, because this was your shot. Full karmic payback.

Once the plates were set in front of the both of you, and Yuta had lifted his fork to take his first bite, you suddenly pulled the dish away with an innocent smile.

“I let you plan today completely on your own, so it’s my turn to spoil you a little in return.” You said sweetly, knowing there was no way he’d refuse. Yuta merely looked around the restaurant with a flushed face.

“Do you mean-” Cutting off his words, you lifted a forkful of cake up in front of his face and gestured for him to open his mouth.

“Just once? Please please please?” You dragged your words out to plead to him, his shoulders straightening at the sound of your voice before he let out a long sigh.

“Fine.. Just once” As he opened his mouth, you rejoiced in silent victory. His eyes closed, not having the gall to look at you during such an embarrassing exchange. It’d have been fine if you asked him to feed you, but this was.. Something he was not used to.

Sliding the dessert into his mouth you pulled the fork from his lips, watching intently as he chewed awkwardly. Satisfied with your payback, you licked the rest of the frosting from the back of the fork. The unintentionally erotic action earning an audible gulp from Yuta before you handed the utensil back to him.

He coughs a few times and reaches for his napkin, wiping the corners of his lips to get rid of the leftover chocolate. “Wasn’t so bad was it?” You said with a tilt of your head and a close eyed smile.

Now back in the car with your arms stretched upwards after humming your praise to the chef, you looked over to Yuta who adjusted his seatbelt a few times before checking yours as well.

“You don’t have to check me, you know” You sighed as he tugged at the belt, giving a satisfied hum after ensuring your safety. “I heard Utahime-Sensei say that improper car etiquette is just as dangerous as curses once though.” He mumbled through knitted brows. “I’m sure she just made that up..” And with that you began your drive home, or so you assumed.

After going past your apartment complex, you raised your eyebrows.

“Yuta, you missed our turn,” You began to say before he turned his head. Deep sea colored eyes that threatened to sink you met your own as he gave you a smile. “I know, just trust me” He spoke softly, reaching his right hand to grip your knee reassuringly.

And with a nod, you did. Watching as the city lights faded into the background of stars, Yuta rolled the windows down to let in the fresh nighttime air. You breathed in deeply and a familiar scent tickled your nose.

“The ocean..!” Your voice rose from the comfortable silence, eyes wide as you turned to stick your head out the window. And there it was, moonlight dancing off the top of the waves. “You seriously..” Swinging your head back around to look at him smiling stupidly, all you could do was laugh as you fully realized just how much this man loves you.

Your toes sunk into the cold sand after you tossed your dress shoes off to the side, your legs moving quickly to carry you to where the water kissed the land. Yuta followed after you, throwing his jacket onto the hood of the car to join you in dipping your toes into the cold winter water.

“It’s freezing!” You shivered and he laughed in response. “Of course it is, it’s February.”

Taking your hand in his, he walked with you along the shoreline. Thanking whatever God that’s out there for the weather being clear. The sea breeze blew his usually well kept raven hair to the side, offering a view you often only saw in the mornings. He was stunning.

Your body couldn’t seem to contain your affection, twisting to suddenly throw your arms over his shoulders and press your face into the side of his neck. “Thank you..” You mumbled the tiny phrase against his skin as he brought his hand to the small of your back.

“Anything for you.. If it was possible I’d find a way to gift you the sea” He spoke into your hair, breathing you in before reluctantly setting you down. “But there is something else I want to give you.”

He moved behind you, turning you to brush your hair away from your face, gently taking a swathe from both sides of your head. “I have more for you at home but I wanted to give this to you here..” Yuta clipped the two strands of your hair behind your head with a white bow, the sheer fabric decorated with pearls and lace.

“It fits you perfectly,” He hummed, pulling the dainty ribbon up by the end so you could see it from the corner of your eye. You weren’t able to speak. The red on your face must’ve been visible even in the moonlit lighting, because Yuta let out a chuckle while he ran his fingers through your hair.

The sound of his laughter sent electricity through you, forcing you to spin on your heel to face him. Your fists balled and you took a large breath in before shouting.

“Marry me!”

Shoulders raised to their highest point, gaze pinned directly onto him, you repeated your question that came out more as a demand.

“I don’t have a ring yet, and I know I’m not the one who is supposed to ask but..” Your eyes started to overflow, mimicking the movement of the seawater. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Yuta, please marry me!”

All he could do was open and close his mouth a few times. Eyes wide and watery just like yours. And then he reached into his pocket to pull out a small box.

“You beat me to it..” He laughed out through his tears. Opening the tiny box in his hand to reveal an elegant engagement ring. Slowly, he sunk down onto one knee and lifted it to you.

“I was so nervous.. I wanted to find the perfect timing but of course..” He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, his words stuttering. “Of course you’d ask before me”

“It’s only fair,” You sobbed out between giggles and sniffles. Reaching your hand down towards him so he could place his promise upon your finger, sliding the other ring you'd worn for the better of 4 years into his pocket. “You always go above and beyond.. I want to give it all back to you in return”

Your words weren’t helping his tears, his other knee giving out below him to fully kneel in front of you. “You don’t have to do anything, just stay by my side. I’ll give my everything to you.” Yuta pressed your knuckles to his lips to plant a kiss on each one. “My body, my mind, and my soul are yours. So I accept, let’s get married.”

With his declaration he stood, cupping both of your cheeks in shivering hands. He leaned down to kiss the side of your face, the corner of your eyes, the tip of your nose, and then finally your lips. It was soft, gentle, and passionate. It was Yuta.

“I’ll make tonight the best of your life, I swear to it” he muttered against your lips, his eyes looking at you with a sense of determination you’d only seen a couple of times.

The first was during the night parade of a hundred demons. The second was when you wished him luck before he left to train with Miguel. And the third was your first time. You felt your heartbeat quicken at record speed as he began to pull you back towards the car. Your pace lagged behind his, Yuta’s usual gentleness replaced with overwhelming desire as he swung you over his shoulder.

“W-Wait, Yuta!?” You squirmed around a bit to no avail, tilting down his back as he bent to pick up your shoes and his jacket that’d blown to the sand from the breeze. “Where are we going?? Don’t we have to go home?”

“I rented a hotel, it’s taken care of. Maki will get the mail for us in the morning” He spoke like he’d recited this conversation a million times in his own head. Placing you in your seat and buckling you in nicely. “Trust me.”

It was the same thing he’d told you before taking you here, but this time it was spoken with such an underlying tone of lust that it made you feel dizzy. The entire drive to the hotel was spent with your hand covering your mouth to stifle any noises while Yuta drew tight circles with his finger against your thigh.

“It’s beautiful..” You whispered, taking in the hotel room your now fiance had booked for the two of you. He put the flowers he’d bought you into a vase before setting down a bag he’d secretly packed and stowed in the back of the car.

“You really did plan everything out to perfection didn’t you?” He raised his head at your comment, giving you a shy smile. “This room was actually my second choice, the other one was fully booked” He sighed, unpacking a few items that you couldn’t see over the broadness of his shoulders.

“Hmm.. I’ll take a bath” Deciding it would be best to clean up while he was occupied, you began to walk towards the bathroom until you felt a pair of arms wrap around you from behind. “Wait..” His voice sounded small. “Let’s bathe together..”

There were moments when Yuta acted like his younger self, shy and unsure. The majority of those instances being with you. If you were upset with him, if he had to leave for a particularly long mission, if you were to take control in the bedroom. Or when he had a very specific want that he wasn’t 100% sure you’d like to fulfill. This time, it was bathing together.

“Ehhh? But shouldn’t we both get completely clean first?” You replied, trying to ignore the heat that began to pool between your thighs.

“I won’t try anything yet, I promise. I just don’t want to be apart from you” Yuta rested his chin on your shoulder, his words sincere enough to make you give in. You gave him the go ahead to run a warm bath, your hands going to start the long process that would be undressing yourself.

“Let me help with that too!” He called from the bathroom over the sound of running water, making you stifle a laugh. “Fine~”

You made your way to the tub, stopping beside Yuta who was kneeling in front of it to check the water temperature. “There, now stand still okay?” He told you with a smile, making away quickly with the distance between you.

Standing behind you, he slowly unzipped the back of your dress. The sound of the zipper making the tips of your ears turn red. One of his favorite parts about being intimate with you was the build up. You knew this very well. He’d take hours undressing you if you were patient enough. But he knew now wasn’t the time for that.

Letting you step out of the fabric that now pooled onto the bathroom tile, he reached his hand to undo the back of your bra in one swift motion. An impressive talent he’d acquired after years of experience with you. He placed the garment on the counter before moving on to the bow in your hair.

This was a new sensation, his fingers raking through your locks as he undid the bowl. You could hear his breath hitch, and immediately you knew it was going to be hard to hold back before getting out of the bath. A tiny giggle exited your lips, your hair now free from the confines of his gift.

“Ahh, it’s not fair..” Yuta groaned, tossing the ribbon to the side as he slid his hands down your body to find your panties. “Why do you have to be so..” Fingers hooking around the elastic of the waistband, he pulled them down your legs. “Enticing..?”

Now it was your turn to tremble. His words never failed to make a fire like pleasure burn deep within your core. A throbbing that only he could bring to your surface, as if he knew exactly what he was doing to you. It was possible that he did. He fought every urge within him to get back on the floor and worship your right then and there. Taking in a deep breath from between his teeth, he pulled his hands from your body and began to undress himself while you started to wet your hair.

You sat on the tiny stool in front of the shower head, humming the tune you’d listened to together earlier that night in the car.

“Stuck in your head?” He asked you, pulling up another seat from behind you as he started to aid in washing your hair. Nimble fingers massaging your scalp gently to lather you in suds before rinsing. “Mhm, it’s a good song after all”

Your voice shook at the end of your sentence, Yuta’s fingertips grazing along your spine and then back up to the nape of your neck. “Keep your word, Okkotsu” It was a stern warning. He let out a sigh in response, picking up a sponge to wash your back. “Thought I’d try my luck anyways”

It wasn’t long before the both of you were properly washed and submerged in the warmth of the bath water. Your head leaning back against his chest as you sat between his legs. The both of you were pressed quite tightly together, causing Yuta to let out a small whine at any movement. “I’m sorry..” He muttered when you shot him a look when he couldn’t help but grind into you. “It’s just.. A tight squeeze..”

“That’s why I told you to wait” You flicked his forehead softly which made him flinch. A tiny ping of guilt caused you to press a kiss to the spot, your hand running through his damp hair. “Shall we get out now?”

You swear to God you’ve never seen Yuta Okkotsu move faster in the entirety of the 6 years you’ve known him.

One of the benefits to dating someone as powerful as Yuta was his ability to learn and adapt quickly. He could easily memorize every movement, sound, and reaction he could elicit from you. The way you liked to be kissed, the places you enjoyed to be touched, and the manner of which you wanted him to please you all had their own separate dedicated category in his mind.

And it seemed he was using every last bit of it tonight as he pressed his naked form against yours. Hands gripping the sides of your hips while he moved his lips on your own. Tiny whimpers of his name leaving your mouth in between breaths, the feeling of complete and utter need within you was so strong that it made your eyes water.

“Please..” You breathed out against his kiss-swollen lips, “Touch me..”

“I’ve been wanting to since you pulled off that erotic stunt at dinner.” He groaned into your jaw before he kissed his way down your neck. The mention of your ‘revenge’ scheme caused you to flush from chest to ears, squirming as he planted his lips to your heartbeat.

Yuta’s hands came up from your hips to cup both of your breasts, gripping them firmly before rolling them in his palm. “I seriously can’t ever get enough of this” He sighed, taking his left hand away to replace it with his mouth. His tongue rolled against your freshly cleaned skin almost desperately. Flicking against your now hardened nipple with practiced expertise. He squeezed the other between his middle and forefinger to earn a high pitched moan from you. Your thighs pressed and rubbed together underneath him, head tilting back to serenade him in more of your praise.

“Ahhh.. Yuta.. Don’t stop, please? I love you.. I love you” You repeated those three words until your mind couldn’t string them together anymore. Hips rolling up to meet his abdomen with needy whines. His self restraint was crumbling with every mention of his name, gaze clouded over with an innate need to please you.

“I’m going to make you feel really good now, okay?” He raised his head to ask you for permission to go further, in which you quickly nodded. A smirk played across his lips as he kissed further down until you could feel his still slightly damp hair tickling your thighs.

“Fuck.. You’re so so beautiful, my love..” It was not often that Yuta cursed. The soothing tone of his voice mixed with the eroticism of his words made your hips twitch. “Every part of you.” He traced his finger up and down your damp slit, whining at the way you dripped and shivered under his touch.

Finally letting go of his last bit of self control, he dipped his head between your thighs to take a long lick from the bottom to the top of your pussy. Your all too familiar taste causing him to involuntarily moan against you. Immediately your hand reached down to curl your fingers in his dark hair, your hips moving to feel more of him.

He could tell that you weren’t in the mood to be teased tonight. And he wasn’t either. Here, and now, with your bare body and soul laid out before him, he wanted to bring you to the best peak you’d have yet to experience. Yuta pressed his face against you like a man who’d been starved, his nose bumping your clit as he slid his tongue to lap up and down your folds.

You wondered which one of you was making more noise. Your loud moaning or his lewd sounds of slurping mixed in with soft words of praise between moans? It was impossible to fully understand what he was saying verbally, but you could feel every bit of it. His fingers going to hold you open, wet muscle flicking softly against your clit before he took the sensitive pearl between his lips to gently suck on it.

“A-Ahh-! Wait, Yuta!” You squealed out, hips lifting off the bed to grind against his face while he rubbed his tongue against your most sensitive spot. The coil of pleasure in your lower stomach only seemed to tighten further as he looked up at you with half lidded eyes, groaning against your skin as if begging you to use him.

“Why are you, ahh~ so good at that?” You questioned with no reply, instead feeling the vibration of a chuckle on your cunt before he resumed his task of messily tonguing your pussy. Your eyes squeeze shut as you steadily felt yourself grow closer and closer to finish. Yuta swirled his tongue around inside of you before flicking it back out again to repeat the same motion on your clit. The action caused your thighs to shake, your head falling back on the pillow again as your hands tightened further in his hair.

“Here..?” He mumbled to himself, tilting his jaw to press the flat of his tongue against your clit to press down on it before giving you more soft kitten licks. Of course, all of his assumptions were proved correct. Your thighs pressed tightly to his cheeks, the sticky sounds from you juices coating his chin only getting louder as you whined and whimpered.

He took his hands to wrap around your thighs, holding you tightly against his tongue. “Look at me,” he said your name at the end of his command. Your head snapping forward instinctively. “Let it out, it’s okay” You almost finished right then and there, cursing him silently as you were unable to form any coherent words at the moment. To say such a thing, while doing such a thing, and holding eye contact. No one had guts like him.

“Make a mess of me, I’m yours.” And with that final sentence, and a hard suck to your clit you came undone under Yuta like you never had before. You felt your entire body tense before relaxing all at once as you spilled into his mouth and down his chin. Your thighs shook violently, the only sounds you could make were of his name mixed with breathy moans. Throbbing between his lips, he suckled on you gently to coax you through your orgasm, his hips moving into the bed in time with your movements. He swears he’s covered in pre.

Finally Yuta lets go of you with a pop from his lips, lapping up the remainder of your juices from your thighs in an attempt to clean you. He raises his head from between your legs to give you his classic shy smile, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and then proceeding to lick his fingers clean. “Was that okay?” He asked sheepishly, and all you could do was whimper in response.

“I swear to God, I’m going to get back at you for that tomorrow morning..” You mumbled out with your head laying on his chest, both of your body’s much too exhausted to continue any further for tonight. “You make it sound as though I did something wrong” He laughed, running his hand up and down your back in a soothing motion.

“You’ve grown so much.” A sudden wave of sentimentality washed over you as you brushed his hair away from his face with your fingers. “You’re speaking as if I’m a child” Yuta closed his eyes to lean into your touch, turning his head to place a kiss on your palm. “But you have too. We both have.”

The two of you laid in the soft comfort of the hotel bed, speaking of the future in a way you were both too timid to approach before. Words of a new home, a possible switch in professions, new pets, a happy life. “I really never imagined a day where I’d have this.” He said quietly, staring up at the ceiling with an expression of deep thought.

“I’m actually going to get married..” The sentence left his lips before his eyes went to a ring that didn’t belong to either of you, sitting on the living space table. “She’d be happy for you.”

Your voice came to him with words he needed more than oxygen itself.

“You’re right.” He whispered, a smile coming to his face as a few tears dripped down his cheek. “She would.”

Red Tulips: Passion, love, and lust (yes, he was intentionally slick with this LMAO)

Extra Notes: The meaning of the flowers written about are;

Baby's Breath: Sincerity, hope, and new beginnings (It is often used in wedding bouquets!)

[bratzforchris]

pleaseeee do a part two of the body piercer johnnie x fem reader 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Come Over

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

Summary: You finally decide to make good on the phone number that Johnnie gave you during your piercing session. Part 2 to this fic <3

Pairing: Body piercer!Johnnie x feminine reader

Warnings: Smut, hooking up, non established relationship, mentions of genital piercing, oral (m receiving), face fucking, making out

Word Count: 1010

A/N: Thank you for the request! So sorry it took me so long to get out :)

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

It had been two weeks since you had met Johnnie and received his phone number, but you had yet to text or call him. It wasn’ that you didn’t want to, rather, you were just rather worried about how hooking up with him would work, especially considering your new piercing that was still healing. 

You were sitting on your couch, having a quiet Friday night. In an unusual turn of events, you didn’t have anywhere to go or anything to do. And so, you decided to text the number on the business card Johnnie had given you, figuring your lack of plans would give you time to think through each response. 

You: hey johnnie…it’s y/n. i hope you remember me lol :)

Anxiously chewing your thumbnail, you watched as typing bubbles appeared on the screen, and then disappeared. This continued for a good five minutes, until you finally received a reply that made you smile. You barely knew Johnnie, despite your rather intimate appointment, but he came across as so loving and sweet. 

Johnnie: of course i do :) what r u up to?

You: nothing really…it’s actually surprising for a friday night lol

Johnnie: oh same 

Johnnie: hey i hope this isn’t too weird but i have a question :p

You: go on!

Johnnie: would u wanna come over? it’s okay if not!!

Your heart dropped, not in a nervous way, of course, but more in an almost excited way. You didn’t think Johnnie was the type to move fast, even with hookups, but apparently he was. You quickly shot back an enthusiastic yes, only for Johnnie to reply immediately with the address. You thanked your lucky stars that you had shaved and done all your other body care earlier in the day. 

Johnnie’s apartment was a surprisingly close walk to your own. He lived in a nice, modern area of LA, which kind of surprised you for a guy like him. You would’ve thought he lived in some sort of Gothic mansion. But as you rang the doorbell, you realized that whatever tattoo and piercing gigs Johnnie was getting paid extremely well. The raven haired boy immediately opened the door, a smile on his face. 

“Hey! Come on in!” Johnnie greeted you like an old friend, or dare you think, girlfriend, as you stepped inside the apartment with butterflies in your tummy. “Do you want something to drink?”

You shook your head softly, simply just admiring how beautiful Johhnie was. You couldn’t deny it any longer; he was gorgeous, almost akin in a way to the night sky that shone through the floor-to-ceiling windows of his apartment. Johnnie cracked open his own Dr. Pepper with an amused look in his blue eyes. 

“So, how’s the piercing healing?” he asked with a smirk. 

You blushed, shifting your weight from foot to foot. “Oh, um, it’s healing great…you did a really great job.” You whispered, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear as you became suddenly shy. 

Johnnie smirked, coming around the island and staring you and up down. “Did you come dressed up for a reason?” he asked, eyeing the short miniskirt and corset top you had changed into. 

“Maybe I did.” You purred playfully. 

Before you knew it, you and Johnnie were kissing, hands tugging at each other’s hair and clothes. You tangled your hands in Johnnie’s black hair as he kissed you, his lip rings brushing against your skin. You let out a soft moan at his pleasures as he slowly pushed you onto the couch, fisting your hair.

“Just because your pretty little pussy isn’t healed yet doesn’t mean we can’t have fun.” Johnnie explained with a smirk, undoing his studded belt and shoving down his black jeans and boxers. 

You felt your mouth run dry as you stared at his hard-on, the tip already glistening with pre cum. Johnnie was huge. You were quite unsure how you were going to fit all of him into your mouth, and you definitely knew that you wouldn’t be able to take him with your rather new Christina piercing. You scooted closer to him, beginning to suck and lick Johnnie’s cock as he moaned, thrusting closer to you. 

Eventually, you took him into your mouth from tip to hilt, adjusting your jaw so that you could take all of him. You moaned around his dick as you sucked him off, thrusting your head forwards and backwards as you gripped Johnnie’s hips. He was boldly face fucking you, hands tangled in your hair as he threw his head back moaning. 

“Oh my god…oh my god, Y/N. That feels so fucking good,” Johnnie panted as his orgasm continued to build. “Fucking hell, ‘m gonna cum.” he whined. 

That just motivated you more, and you took his dick further into your mouth, staring up at Johnnie with wide doe eyes as the combination of your drool, lip gloss, and his pre cum dripped down your chin. Finally, Johnnie couldn’t hold it in anymore, letting out little whimpers and grunts. 

“I’m gonna cum…” he panted. “You better swallow it, too.”

Just as he spoke, Johnnie came down your throat, letting out a heavy moan as he did so. You slid off of his dick with pop, licking your lips as you swallowed his load. The raven haired boy collapsed beside you on the couch, pants still around his thighs as he tried to catch his breath. After a moment, Johnnie stared at you, eyeliner running from his blue eyes and down his face from the mixture of sweat and tears that had collected during your blowjob. 

“I am so fucking glad you came to get that piercing.” he told you huskily, leaning in and beginning to suck on the spot behind your ear. 

You moaned, maneuvering yourself so that you could kiss Johnnie. You had never experienced anything like him before, but you couldn’t say that you were mad about it. You kissed him back just as heavily, feeling the coolness of his piercings against your skin. “Me fucking too.” You smiled.  

tags ♡: @aemrsy @jake-and-johnnies-slut @mattsfavwh3re @suyqa @chrissturnswife @mbsbaby @stingerayyy2 @strnlvr @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @mayhem-72 @faygo-frog @oobleoob @idek3000hi @runasvengence

note ♡: if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here <3

[sebscore]

Hi!

I wanted to request for fem!driver. Like I can’t stop thinking about two situations.

One being if she started dating a guy or a girl. Not a driver or anything like that. I would feel like everybody would either be protective or make fun of her. I can also see them stalking her date.

The other one being what if she got into a crash. How would she react? Or how would everyone else react?

(I just wanted to say that I love this series you have going on with fem!driver. It’s so fun and cute!)

LET IT SPIRAL

pairings: sebastian vettel x driver!reader / george russell x driver!reader / carlos sainz x lando norris / (indirect) lewis hamilton x driver!reader

warnings: car crashing. swearing. medics. mentions of the hospital. reader passes out for a moment.

author's note: thank you so much for the request, I had fun writing this one and I hope you enjoy reading it! 🙂 I’ll get to the reader having a significant other another time! ❣️

• • • • • • •

''Y/N? Are you okay?'' Her engineer sounded over the radio, surprised by the sudden turn of events.

Up until moments before, the qualifying had been going fine. Yes, there was a lot of rain and there wasn't much grip, but there hadn't been an incident yet and it was still manageable. She had made it into Q2 and she seemed to be on her way to make it into the next sector.

She knew she was taking a risk by going into the corner that fast, but those kinds of risks had paid off in the past, so she didn't think twice about it. Only this time her car started spinning and she crashed into the barrier at quite a high speed.

The lack of response made her team worried, her usual snarky comment not coming through the radio.

''Hello? Y/N? Can you confirm if you're okay?'' Her engineer tried again to get some sort of response out of her, not immediately wanting to think about the worst case scenario. However, nothing came through the radio again from the female driver.

Meanwhile, the two remaining cars behind her were informed to slow down and watch out for debris on the track. Sebastian and George right away reduced their speed, but reacted concerned as to why they needed to do that.

''Red flag, Sebastian. Y/L into the barriers. Lots of debris.''

Sebastian wasn't too pleased to hear about Y\N's crash as earlier he had complained to the directors that they shouldn't be allowed to drive in these rainy weather conditions. ''I told them to red flag the whole thing! There's too much fucking water! I fucking told them!''

As soon as the German saw her car, he pulled up next to her and put his car in neutral, ready to jump out if he needed to. Sebastian held his thumb up in the air, hoping she would see it and would hold hers up. His heart dropped to his stomach when she didn't do that.

He didn't waste one second and jumped out of his cockpit, running up to her and crouching down. ''Y/N! Can you hear me? Are you hurt?'' He pulled up the visors of her helmet and saw her eyes were closed. Upon seeing that, he grabbed her arm and felt her pulse, relief going through his body as her heart was still beating.

George reacted more reserved and calm than Sebastian, but still voiced his concerns for his friend. ''Is she okay? What happened?''

''She lost control of the rear, there hasn't been a response from her.''

He fell quiet when told that she wasn't responding to her engineers, it wasn't in her character to just go radio silent. ''That's not good.''

Turning into the corner, he saw Sebastian by Y/N's car and just like the older driver did earlier, he pulled up next to them and swiftly got out of his car, seeing if he could be of any help to them.

''Is she alright?'' George asked Sebastian, crouching down on the other side of her car. Sebastian shook his head. ''I think she passed out, we should get her helmet off that way she gets more air.'' He told the younger one.

They both stood up and carefully tried to move the helmet from her head, not wanting to hurt her. The two men successfully got the helmet off and Sebastian cupped her cheeks, lightly shaking her. ''Wake up, Y/N dear.''

Her eyes slowly opened, blinking due to the sudden light causing pain to her eyes. Y/N groaned, her muscles hurting immensely and also still not realizing what just happened.

''You okay, darling?''

George's question remained unanswered as the arriving marshals and medics pushed them out of the way, getting the driver out of her car and quickly getting her into the vehicle that would bring her to the hospital for a check-up.

They watched as the car drove away with their colleague in it, Sebastian holding onto her helmet. George patted his fellow driver's shoulder.

''Come on, let's go, Seb.''

In the Mercedes garage, Lewis had already made his way out of the car and was discussing with Bono when he saw the spinning car crashing into the barriers on the small monitoring screen.

''Oh, that doesn't look too good.'' He noted, his face in a frown as the red flag was called out. ''Wait, is that Y/N?'' The Brit took a closer look at the car and realized it was Y/N who had fallen victim to the rain.

Angela joined him, growing concerned for the younger woman she had grown very fond of in the last years. ''Why isn't she getting out?'' She mumbled to herself, confused as to why there was no movement coming from the car.

''Oh, Seb's getting out of the car.'' Lewis' focus was solely on the scene in front of him, his heart rate raising as now both Sebastian and George were by her car, yet there was no movement coming from Y/N's side.

''Why aren't there any fucking medics helping her?'' Lewis cursed to no one in particular, frustrated that the two drivers had to help the woman on their own.

Bono calmed him down. ''Look, they've arrived, Lewis.''

''I hope she's okay.''

On the paddock, several drivers who were giving post-qualification interviews watched with worry as the crash replayed over and over again on the big screen.

Carlos stopped talking in the middle of giving the reporter an answer, more concerned with seeing for himself if Y/N was okay or not. Lando appeared next to him, his eyes wide and attentively looking at the screen. ''That's Y/N, right?''

The older one nodded. ''Yes, that's gonna leave some bruises later.''

''I hope her nails are fine, remember the last time when Daniel crashed into her? For weeks she would walk up to him and shove her newly done nails into his face.'' Lando recalled, trying to lighten up the tension.

Carlos chuckled, remembering all the times Y/N would proudly show off her nails to Daniel and the rest of the drivers. ''Yeah, I think Daniel will think twice before taking her out on track again.''

''Look, George and Seb are with her.'' The McLaren driver pointed out, grabbing Carlos' attention. ''What are they doing?''

''I think they're trying to take her helmet off.'' Lando answered, narrowing his eyes as he tried to get a better look at what was happening.

Sighs of relief came from them as the marshals and medics helped Y/N out of her car, and they could see she was conscious and didn't have any significant injuries. They resumed their interviews and made their way back to their own respective hospitalities.

As soon as Sebastian was informed that Y/N was back from her check-up at the hospital, he made his way to her garage, knowing the young lady well enough that she would want to check out the damages that had been done to her car.

''Hi, little one.''

Sebastian's voice made her turn her head in his direction, greeting him with a soft smile. ''Hey, Seb.''

He walked towards her and pulled her helmet from behind him, handing it over to her. ''I thought you might want this back.'' She laughed as he gave her the helmet, only now realizing she had been missing it. ''Thank you, I appreciate it.''

''How are you?''

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. ''My wrist hurts a bit, but it's just bruising. Besides that, I'm fine.'' She showed off the supporting tape the doctors had put around her wrist.

''I'm happy to hear that, I was scared you might had a concussion or something.'' The German told her, recalling finding her passed out form in the car. ''I'll leave you then, I'll see you tomorrow.'' Sebastian was about to take off when she stopped him.

''Hey, Seb,'' he turned around upon the call of his name, ''I already talked to George, but thank you for helping me out there, I don't remember it, but it was very nice of you and you could have just kept driving, but you didn't.'' She thanked him, taking a few steps closer to him.

He brushed it off. ''You don't have to thank me, Y/N. It was the right thing to do and I wanted to make sure you were okay.''

''You know, I don't wanna get sentimental and all, cause that's embarrassing,'' he laughed at her words, ''but I really appreciate that you've been kinda taking care of me ever since I joined you guys, even before when I was still karting, and you didn't have to do that, but you took it upon yourself to guide me and stand up for me, and I- well, I'm just really thankful, that's all.''

The sincerity in her voice almost brought tears to his eyes. This sport hasn't always been kind to people who fell out of the usual norms of F1, especially to women. So, when he heard about a young girl that had been winning against boys older than her who had more resources, he took it upon himself to reach out to her and her family. Sebastian saw potential in her and offered to mentor her, and even financially help her out. Now, many years later, she's racing alongside him and many other top drivers.

He remained silent, but pulled the girl in a heartwarming embrace. Y/N was surprised, but nevertheless put her arms around his shoulder while his were around her waist.

''Don't make me cry, I just put on mascara and it's not waterproof.''