#and talk about parents not giving a single fuck because this is your life ham kya karein

[iftitah]

im so fucked right now 🤣🤣

[voidpacifist]

I know we all love and adore D(d)eaf/hoh steve but I raise you this — D(d)eaf eddie

(little tw for abuse and audism, I really did a deep dive into eddies childhood for this one)

• eddie, who gets really sick really young and loses his hearing, who is raised in a loud environment because his parents are constantly fighting or partying but the universe is on his side because he doesn't have to try so hard to tune it out

• eddie, who stubbornly seeks out ways to listen to music even when his parents get pissed at him for having the radio in his bedroom turned up loud enough to shake the house, who finds his mom's old acoustic guitar and decides it's his favorite instrument, who plays like he knows it even if he probably sounds ridiculous because he doesn't care when his whole body is vibrating with it

• eddie, who is forced to be mainstreamed and struggles so fucking much because a. first graders are mean and b. not a single teacher tries to accomodate his needs as a deaf student, who earns himself the title of 'freak' without really trying because he sounds different from the other kids, who still tries his damnedest to make friends with them because as much as he wants to hate them, he'd much rather not be lonely

• eddie, who at ten years old ends up meeting his uncle after his mom drags him out of the house during a brutal fight with his dad, who learns that wayne has a collection of music he calls 'metal,' who finds a whole new world of sound that finally clicks just right for him

• eddie, who reads voraciously, who hides in the library and finds a book on Sign, who stops talking at home out of defiance because no one listens to him anyway, who gets his hands pressed to a hot stove by his dad for signing instead of speaking, who is forced to return his library book and spends years of his life terrified to try again

• eddie, who struggles but ultimately graduates from the fifth grade, who didn't have an interpreter or more than hesitant acquaintances in class, who racked up hordes of bullies throughout elementary but still powered through every class and every grueling assignment that was never properly explained to him, who graduates because he did that shit by himself and for himself

• eddie, who thinks he's going to go through the motions of elementary school again in middle school, who starts skipping out on certain classes with particularly impatient teachers and peers, who only comes back and stays because scott clarke sought him out to give him tools for during lectures and lets him hide in his classroom during the lunch hour, who is asked one day if they can learn Sign together

• eddie, who really doesn't want to get in trouble at home but can't afford to miss out on what's happening at school, who signs for hours back and forth with mr. clarke after school, who lies to his parents about his extracurriculars

• eddie, who sees his dad do something so horrific that he runs in just his socks all two miles to the police station, who only gets the attention of jim hopper, jim who doesn't know a lick of Sign but still tries to communicate with eddie and explains as best he can to a traumatized fourteen year old that he needs to find a new home, eddie who watches as his dad is taken in a police car to prison whole his mom is taken on a stretcher in a bag

• eddie, who still has living family in illinois but chooses wayne, who holes up in his new room with the music too loud for a public trailer park, who doesn't speak or Sign to wayne for a long time but they still leave little notes to one another — that ham sandwich you like so much is in the fridge, love wayne; don't forget your medicine this morning, eddie

• eddie, who takes wayne to his first parent teacher conference and freezes when mr. clarke brings up Sign, who nearly cries when wayne decides he'd like to learn too, who gets remarks about his focus from his other teachers and watches as wayne face goes through more expressions than he's ever seen on a man, confusion and anger and defiance

• eddie, who starts seeing more and more patience from his teachers, who starts meeting people that actually want to be friends with him because they too have been labeled by high school society as 'freaks,' garrett emerson and other sixth graders start looking up to him, even some seventh graders too like donnie nichols and jeff morgan (yes I made up the last names), who is taught about D&D and in turn, teaches his little crowd of outcasts how to sign so they can have campaigns together

• eddie, who carries his reputation as 'freak' and wears it like a crown with pride, who sticks up for others like him and sticks out without hiding away, who goes through highschool for six years too many, who meets fellow odd duck robin buckley in the final sixth year when he ends up in her graduating class

• eddie, who is on track to graduate because of robin, robin whose fixation on languages allows her to learn Sign in a matter of weeks, eddie who meets nancy wheeler through robin who then meets nancys little brother and his crowd of friends, who then meets the last person he thought he'd ever be friends with, steve harrington

• steve, who has a lot of head trauma and relies on Sign during his bad days when his hearing is rough or his head hurts too much to talk, eddie who starts softening his edges because there's finally someone else in this tiny fucking town who knows a shred of how he himself feels

• steve, who advocates loudly and firmly for eddies right to work at different establishments in town after he graduates, who turns eddie onto the idea of pursuing a career in music even when others in the past have told him that it's counterintuitive to do so, eddie who convinces steve not to overwork himself, who helps him pursue proper medical diagnoses for his learning disabilities

• eddie, who saves up every penny he can to attend college at gallaudet, who gets his bachelor's in teaching despite his qualms with his own education experience, who goes on to teach an all deaf class in a town neighboring his hometown

• eddie, who begins finding people in his own community, who has a place with his people in hawkins and a place with his fellow Deaf, who does everything with being deaf and not in spite of it, who embraces himself fully and is embraced fully by those he's surrounded himself with

• eddie, who visits the party over the holiday season and on a few weekends here and there, who hosts entire D&D campaigns in just Sign for both the party and hellfire, who is surprised to find that steve shows up to each one because the guy does not have to drive the kids anywhere anymore

• eddie, who asks steve why he shows up, steve who signs with shy fingers that it's because he can't chase away the urge to be around eddie

• eddie and steve, who become eddie and steve, steve who is learning and investing himself into Deaf culture, eddie who is bursting at the seams to introduce him to all of his friends

• steve and eddie, who both have a taste for loud, jarring music, who both attend concerts together, who create music together even if it's just to fuck around because it's what they love, who continue to defy the world's expectations of what they can and cannot do and enjoy and be

[dameronology]

love in the time of p.t.a. meetings {marcus moreno} - 4/5

summary: after a few months of slightly chaotic bliss, you & marcus start to think about the next steps in your relationship. {series masterlist}

warnings: swearing 

this is up a little later than i wanted & i do apologise, i once again stayed up all night and i cannot recount a single thing i’ve done. enjoy!

- jazz

Things between you and Marcus quickly fell into a routine.

You kind of had to when you both had kids; their lives needed structure. Depended on it, in fact. It wasn’t long before both of your lives were entangled in more ways than one, mostly for the sake of Missy and Jack having security around them but also because things between you were so good. Neither of you were trying to rush by any means, but when it worked, it worked. You were both good at communicating with each other - not that many issues really cropped up - and you both understood that your children came first. Things progressed easily and naturally, and he made you feel secure enough that you didn’t have to question whether or not it was too good to be true. 

Five months had quickly passed and you were both comfortable. Marcus Moreno was your boyfriend and it wasn’t a big deal. Okay, it had been at first - especially the first time he planted a kiss on your lips in front of the minivan brigade - but now? It was normal. It felt like he’d always been there, and you took it as a good sign. You got on well with Missy, especially since she’d witnessed your spat with Carol and started to think the world of you, and Jack...well, he was obsessed with Marcus. You couldn’t blame the kid. 

‘Jack! Put the soup down!’ 

It was another one of those mornings. It was a Sunday, so you didn’t have to worry about getting up early for school or work but you’d been at Marcus’ till late the night before. You and Jack ended up spending a lot of time at his; there was a swimming pool and a big garden for Optimus Prime to run around in, so it tired both of your tiny spawns out, which worked in your favour.

 Even when the kid had spent four hours swimming last night, he’d still risen that morning at 6AM like Jesus Christ on the third day. You’d woken to find the kitchen covered in smashed eggs and ham, then your oven had broken and the toilet was blocked again. 

You’d been halfway through reversing the problem when you’d heard Jack shuffling in the kitchen. You were stood in the hallway, still in your pyjamas, with a toilet brush in one hand and the other balled up into a fist. 

‘Jack, the soup is about to-’

You paused mid-sentence, watching as the bowl he was trying to reach for toppled straight off of the counter. You’d only washed his hair ten minutes ago, and you might as well have not fucking bothered because it was now covered in chunky vegetable soup. And the Chewbacca onesie he loved so much? Trying to peel that off him for the next few hours to wash the Heinz out of it was going to be a whole task in itself. You’d only just been to the laundrette the day before, and you’d gotten to the point in life where having a place with its own washing machine was a sign of success. 

‘Mum, there’s soup in my hair.’

‘It’s okay.’ You took a moment to breath. ‘We are not going to cry.’

‘I’m not crying.’

‘Wasn’t talking to you, buddy.’ You rubbed your temples for a moment. ‘C’mon, let’s go hop in the bath.’

So much of parenting was just...stopping to breath. Stopping to take a moment to remind yourself that although your love for your child was unwavering and unconditional, you sometimes felt like screaming. All you’d done for the last five hours was go in circles, cleaning and lecturing and cleaning some more. It made you wish you were at work that day, because at least then you could have conversations with people that weren’t about what cheese they wanted for lunch or what cartoon they wanted to watch. 

‘I just had a bath.’ Jack muttered. 

‘Yeah well, you need another one.’ You took another deep breath. ‘I’ll be there in a minute-’

‘- I don’t want a bath!’

‘And I don’t want a kid that’s covered in soup!’ You shot back. ‘C’mon, buddy. Just do as I say, please?’

Your conversation was interrupted by a knock at the door. You frowned for a moment - you weren’t expecting anyone. There was no post on Sundays and you hadn’t seen your landlord since the day you’d moved in. Your nosey neighbour knocked sometimes, usually asking about the noise (he didn’t have kids, clearly) and you were this close to telling him to mind his own fucking business. 

‘I swear to god, if that’s David again, I am going to shove this can of soup up his - Marcus!’ You almost did a double take when you saw your boyfriend stood at the door - he really chose his times, didn’t he? You hadn’t even had time to put the fucking toilet brush down. ‘Hey.’ 

‘Hey, baby.’ He greeted you slowly, eyes slowly taking in your appearance (and not in a sexy way). ‘Were you not expecting me?’

‘Shit, did we have plans?’ Your eyes widened. 

‘No, but Jack called. He said you’d asked him to ask me to come over, but I realise half way through that sentence that starting with Jack called probably means you had no idea.’ He offered you a goofy smile. ‘He said that the sofa had exploded and that you needed help.’

There was a lot to unpack there. When had Jack done that? More to the point, when had he learnt to use the phone? How had he worked out your phone password? The kid couldn’t do up his own velcro and now he was a Russian hacker, apparently. 

‘Oh my god.’ You groaned. ‘I am so sorry. Things have been batshit here this morning and I’m sure he had my best interests in his weird little heart, but he made you come all this way-’

‘- Marcus!’ Speaking of the devil.

Jack pushed past you, wrapping his arms around Marcus’ waist. He leant down to pick him up, lifting him off the ground - albeit at a distance, due to Soupgate. 

‘Hey, buddy.’ He greeted him. ‘You been causing trouble again?’

‘Not on purpose.’ Jack replied. ‘Mum says I need another bath.’

‘I think she’s right.’ Marcus said. ‘Why don’t you go pick out some clothes and come back in a minute, yeah?’

‘Okay!’ Seemingly impressed by the newfound trust in him to choose an outfit, Jack wriggled himself back down to the floor, trotting towards his bedroom. Seriously, how did Marcus do that? Perhaps his ability to have authority over your archaic child was another hidden power of his. 

‘You look like you need a break, baby.’ He reached out, gently running a hand down your arm.

‘I’m fine, he’s just been a lot today.’ You sighed.

‘You have soup on your shirt and fluff in your hair.’

‘Couch stuffing.’

‘Huh?’

‘It’s couch stuffing. Except that was Optimus Prime and not Jack, which makes a nice change.’ You muttered.

‘Look, Missy is at her abuela’s today and she’s been begging for ages to see Jack again.’ He said. ‘What d’you say I drive him over there, you clean up and we hang out? Just us, no kids, no dogs, no stress.’

‘That sounds like a fucking dream.’ You couldn’t help but smile. ‘But Optimus has consumed half the couch and I gotta keep an eye on him-’

‘-we can bring him with us!’ Marcus grinned. ‘He loves the garden.’

‘Are you sure? Because I remember you saying you had work plans today and I don’t want you to cancel them on account for the fact I can’t control my own kid. Or life.’

‘You two come first.’ He said it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. ‘Three, including Optimus Prime.’

--

In the time it took Marcus to drive Jack to his mum’s and get back to yours, you were able to clean up. The apartment was still a state, but it hadn’t been properly tidy in...how many days had it been since Jack was born? Because it hadn’t been clean in exactly that many days. You felt a little bad dumping him on Anita when he was still covered in soup, but if anyone was able to wrestle him into the bath and some clean clothes, it was her. You’d met her a few times and she was absolutely lovely, but you had no doubt she could be terrifying when need be. She was the sort of woman you aspired to be.

By midday, you were driving out the city. There was music playing quietly over the radio and you were watching the houses go by; even though it was cold out, you had the heater on and you were bundled up in a leather jacket, Marcus’ scarf snugly around your neck. It smelt faintly of his aftershave, which had become one of your favourite scents over the last five months. The time had gone so quickly. You’d seen each other practically every day since then, and having the kids meant you’d been fallen into being domestic pretty quickly. The simplicity of it all - him and you and getting to this point so easily - was overwhelming in itself. 

Your first relationship had been so complicated - so finicky and filled with unnecessary arguments. That should have been a sign early on, but then you’d gotten pregnant with Jack and getting married had seemed like the obvious thing to do. His presence meant you wouldn’t have changed anything, not for the entire fucking world, but it made you a little sad to think about how long you’d wasted on what had clearly been the wrong person. Meanwhile, Marcus’ situation had been entirely different; he’d had the right person the first time around and then he’d lost them. You never felt like a replacement to his wife, or even thought about the notion, really. That had been another part of his life. You were a new part and it didn’t mean he was forgetting the past. The two could co-exist without taking away from each other. 

‘You’re deep in thought.’ Marcus observed. He moved one of his hands to rest on your leg, giving it a light squeeze. He did that a lot, usually whenever you were sat beside him at the table or on the sofa. It was just a him thing. 

‘Yeah, sorry.’ You tore your gaze away from the window. ‘My brain always goes a little into overdrive when things are quiet.’

He chuckled. ‘What’s on your mind?’

‘You, actually.’ You tangled your fingers with his, thumb brushing over the back of his hand. ‘I was just thinking about lucky I am and how good things are, and how it almost feels too good to be true.’

‘Better believe it, baby.’ He replied. ‘Because it is true.’

‘I know.’ You peered over at him with a smile. ‘It’s just...my only perceptions of relationships were based on the single one I’ve had. Everything was so complicated and exhausting. This is completely different and it’s so nice. And normal. And I don’t know, that sounds stupid-’

‘- it’s not stupid at all.’ Marcus peered over at you, shaking his head. ‘It’s natural to be a little apprehensive after a bad relationship and if there’s anything I can do to help, you just have to tell me. You know that, right?’

Maybe it was the way he said it, or maybe it was just him, but you knew for certain that he meant that. There was sort of a silent agreement now that you were both in this for the long haul. Your mum had always said that you’ll know when you know but you’d always written that off. Mostly because you hadn’t known the first time round. But, now you did. You did know and though you weren’t going to admit that to Marcus, you never doubted him for a second. 

‘I do.’ You said. ‘But he’s in the past now - and hopefully it’s where he fucking stays.’

‘I have contacts. I can find him and set Miracle Guy on him.’ Marcus’ grin had returned. ‘Just say the word.’

‘You make a tempting offer.’ You smiled back at him. ‘But the past is the past and I’m ready to...slam the lid on that dumpster.’

‘Do you think he’ll ever want to come back into Jack’s life?’

You pondered for a moment. ‘I don’t think so, but if he did, I dunno if I’d let him. I never wanna be the person who stops someone from seeing their kids but what he did was...it was unforgivable.’

‘You don’t have to make that decision until it actually happens.’ Marcus gently said. ‘And I’ll support whatever you choose.’

He pulled into the drive way of his house - his nice, clean, sofa-stuffing-and-soup free house. Optimus Prime leapt out the car as soon as the door was open, practically tearing past the two of you and down towards the yard. There was a moment of silence and then a splash!

‘Guess he found the pool.’ Marcus commented. ‘At least it’s heated, I s’pose.’

Truth be told, he loved having the three of you at his house. It felt like whatever had been missing before was slowly making an appearance as your relationship progressed. The irony was that you brought nothing but chaos and clutter with you, but that was exactly what made it feel like a home. It was small things; the painting that Jack had done for him at after school club was now hung up up on the fridge, and there was a photo of him and Missy on the fireplace with Optimus Prime. Half of the thousands of blankets of pillows that had been at your place had ended up on his sofa, thanks to the countless sleepovers. 

If he could have it his way, Marcus would have you live with here all the time. The energy that you and Jack brought made everything feel complete. He loved the evenings where Missy and Jack would play out in the pool, and you two would sit back inside, complaining about the cold. Then there were the nights where you’d take both the kids back here when he was working late, and he’d come home to find you piled on the couch watching an old movie, with your burnt cooking abandoned on the stove, surrounded by boxes of left over take out. It was the kind of thing that was so simple and so domestic, but it was everything he wanted. 

That was probably the flashpoint moment when Marcus Moreno realised he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. He already knew he loved you - he’d worked that out about three months in, when you’d fallen asleep in one of his shirts whilst trying to wait up for him - but he hadn’t said it. He’d hinted at it and made back-handed comments but he’d barely admitted it to himself, let alone to anyone else. He knew what you and Jack had gone through before and it broke his entire fucking heart. You both deserved someone who stand by you and support you, someone who would embrace you both for the craziness and warm energy you brought everywhere with you. More than ever, he was realising he wanted to be that person who gave it you. After all, you’d made his life so much brighter without even trying.

Snapping out of his trance, Marcus looked over at you. You’d already ditched your shoes and dropped onto the sofa, pulling one of the blankets with you. This was exactly what you needed. A quiet house, your favourite person and a cable knit blanket. 

‘Hey, baby?’ 

You looked over at him, smiling at the name. ‘Yeah?’

‘You know I love you, right?’

You blinked in surprise, sitting up. ‘I know.’

‘You do?’

‘You’ve never said it, but I can tell.’ You nodded, before offering a smile. ‘And I love you too.’

‘I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.’ He slowly approached you, dropping onto the sofa beside you and taking your hands in his. ‘I think I just got so caught up in everything and feeling everything that I forgot.’

‘Why are you apologising?’ You couldn’t help but scoff at him, leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips. ‘It’s your actions that say it, Marc. Hearing it is good but you showed it a long time ago.’

‘I know, but really you deserve to hear it everyday.’ He smiled against you, helping you move onto his lap. 

‘You do tell me everyday, with the things you do.’ You reminded him. ‘Like meeting me in the parking lot with coffee, or bribing Jack into going to bed early with video messages from your superheroes, or doing my grocery shopping when you know money is short.’

‘Why wouldn’t I do those things?’ Marcus seemed genuinely confused. ‘It’s you.’

‘I love you.’ You repeated the phrase. 

‘And I love you.’

He pulled you into another kiss - this time it was a little firmer, not unlike your second declaration of love. Marcus did all those things without thinking, simply out of his intense want for you to just be happy. He was the same with Missy, always doing little things to make her life easier just because. It was just part of who he was, and it made him happy to see his loved ones happy. 

With your body pressed against his and your hands tangled in your hair, Marcus realised he didn’t want you to ever leave again. He didn’t want you to have to drive home in the dark at ten because all of your stuff was on the other side of town. You did stay over sometimes, but then you’d have to creep out at 6AM with a sleeping Jack in your arms to get home in time to get ready. He wanted you here all the time. You should have been here all the time. 

‘Move in with me?’ 

He both did and didn’t mean to say it out loud. He did because he wanted you so badly to be a permanent fixture in the house, but he also didn’t because the idea might have been a little absurd. Was it too soon? What if you didn’t want to leave your place? He knew you loved your apartment. It was your home and had been for a long time.

‘What?!’ You suddenly pulled back from the kiss, eyes wide. 

‘I mean...if you want to.’ Marcus slowly said. ‘Hell, Missy and I can move to your place if that’s what you want. It might be tight but she loves the dog and I just want to be with you-’

‘- hey!’ You cut him off, planting your hands on his shoulders. ‘You’re rambling again, but that’s besides the point. I would love to live here.’

‘You would?’

‘I would.’ You smiled. 

It made sense. Aside from the glaringly obvious fact you wanted to, it was also practical. It was closer to the school, closer to your work and it had a fucking swimming pool. Marcus was already clearly financially secure and moving in wouldn’t mean relying on him, but it would have meant that things for Jack were a lot more stable. Missy loved the company of you both, and it meant she would finally have the dog she wanted so bad. 

‘Missy would be okay with it, right?’ You asked.

‘She was the one who put the idea in my head, actually.’ Marcus admitted. ‘I’d thought about it but then she kind of asked in passing why you don’t live here, and I couldn’t give her an answer.’

‘Your kid is smart.’

‘D’you think Jack will-’

‘- I’m going to stop you there.’ You cut him off.

‘Right, I probably don’t need to ask that question.’ He chuckled.

‘Exactly.’ You pressed a kiss to his nose. ‘Don’t forget the dog, either.’

‘How could I? I can literally see him peeing on my lawn right now.’

‘Our lawn.’

--

Exactly three weeks later - and after a hefty amount of paperwork and hours of sorting through Jack’s endless amounts of crap that he insisted on hoarding - moving day came. 

Anita had insisted on having the kids again. They were both excited, but perhaps a little too much. They were probably more likely to get in the way of things if anything. Children, a dog and large boxes? It seemed like a match made in hell. Plus, she had a whole ass training course in her back garden and if that didn’t wear the kid out, then you were definitely going to take him to the Heroics to get tested. The thought alone was enough to tire you out. 

You didn’t have too much stuff to move. You’d been half-moved into the damn place before Marcus had even made the formal proposal, so that made things a lot easier. You were keeping your sofa for Jack’s room, but the rest was going to Goodwill. Most of it had come from there in the first place.

‘I think that’s the last box.’ Marcus announced, exiting the bedroom. ‘I didn’t realise that a five year could own so many variations of storm-trooper toys.’

‘Oh, yeah.’ You replied. ‘There’s the original trilogy ones, sequel trilogy ones, dark troopers, shock troopers, clone troopers - and I realise half way through listing them that you don’t care.’

‘I never said that!’ He placed his hands on your waist, pressing a kiss to your forehead. ‘I’m excited to learn.’

‘I’m sure Jack is excited to tell you.’ You grinned. 

Then, it faltered slightly with the realisation you were actually leaving this place. You’d never intended for it to be your permanent home, but it had still been the centre of your entire universe for half a decade. Every room told a story; the crayon marks on the bathroom wall, the dents behind the TV from, the crack in the living room mirror. All caused by Jack, naturally. The last five years was contained entirely within these four walls and you got bleary eyed at the idea of it becoming someone else’s. 

‘Hey, don’t cry.’ Marcus gently wiped away a tear from your cheek. 

‘You know, the rent is still paid till the end of the month so we could revisit the idea of you and Missy living here instead.’ You tearfully smiled. 

‘You’re kidding but you know I’ll do it.’ He pressed another kiss to your nose, grip on your arms tightening. 

‘It’s okay.’ You moved so that the kiss landed on your mouth instead, capturing his lips in a brief kiss. ‘I knew we were gonna outgrow this place. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon.’

‘I know. Still kinda feels like it all came out of no-where, huh?’ He replied. ‘In the best way.’

‘You’re right. In the best way.’ You firmly nodded. ‘Can you believe I was 23 when I moved into this place? I found it on Craiglist within ten minutes of finding out I was pregnant.’

‘Do you wanna take a minute before we go?’

‘No, it’s fine.’ You shook your head. ‘We should get going.’

The apartment was just that: an apartment. And the house you were going to was just that: a house. But the people you were with? That’s what made it count. It wasn’t about the four walls or the roof over your head, or whether or not it had a big yard and a jacuzzi bath tub (though, that did help). It was about the laughter and warmth inside; the faces in the photos on the wall and the people you came home to after a long day. It was the smell of your burnt cooking and the pizza you’d ordered in place. It was Jack’s toys left in the exact place where someone could trip and it was Missy using all the hot water in the morning so that Marcus’ showers were practically arctic. It was everyday things that reminded you of the people around you; the people that made it home, and how lucky you were to have them.

That was home. And you’d found yours. 

taglist: @naivara-duneimith @1-2-3-4-5metalfingers @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky​ @lyanna-the-giantsbane @phoenixhalliwell @crazycookiecrumbles​ @bitchin-beskar​ @comphersjost

[shinebrightlikeanarwhal]

Random SF ideas

It has a lot of Travis ships because that's my feral lil bby. I'm having fun keeping him from bullying people by bullying him instead lol

Every time he enters school Sal mutters “anything can happen in the Bronx”. Todd is the only one that doesn’t understand.

Travis is emotionally constipated and will take it out on others, but later do small things as his form of apologizing. Philip and his mother are the only people that understand him and understand why. Sal thinks he may be bipolar and Larry has probably called him the r-slur under his breath. (Stinky boy probably would say it openly if not for Sal's disdain for that word).

Maple and Travis bonding over jewelry and make up. Travis won’t admit it to anyone but her but he likes the way Maple accessorizes. Obligatory Chug appreciation to keep on her good side, later forms a healthy and wholesome friendship.

Travis and Larry fight verbally. It doesn’t get physical unless Larry loses control and shoved Travis. This prompting a snarky reminder that Larry is no better than Travis’ own father. They cuddle and fall asleep later tho, after Sal puts them in their get along corner.

Nicknames. Travis’ weakness is nicknames. Lisa discovers this and shows Larry and Sal who abuse this power. Travis’ tan cheeks are bright red anytime he’s out public with them because of their stupidly sweet nicknames. Their go to for reactions are baby(boy), sweetheart and bottom

Shameless PDA when Sal is jealous. Travis learns the hard way how easy it is to make him jealous when a hand is in his waist and holding him close to the shorter. Fingers tracing any exposed skin to keep Travis focused on him. Sorry Lar, you took up too much Travis time..

Travis’ mom being an absolute babe. Apple if her eye is her sweet boy. Probably passed while he was young and had to watch him grow in that unhealthy environment.. maybe reaches out to Sal for help since he’s more intuitive. Def terrifies Larry a couple times as a prank. He hit her son, bully or not, it just felt right to braid his hair to his bed post a couple times and paint his nasty thoughts on his chest.

Travis hates surprises and loud noises because of his father. They don’t learn that until they throw a surprise birthday party with cheering and loud pops of confetti balloons, his panic attack damn near gave him a heart attack. (He refused to accept apologies for something they didn’t know. Instead demanding they spoil him for the rest of the week as compensation for his hospital trip on his birthday)

I said it once, and I’ll say it again. Service. Animals. Mr. Phelps legally obligated to give him a service animal and Travis is somewhat saved from Kenneth's abuse. Taking more time outside for walks (the dog can’t bare letting Travis stay in the house for long with his father home). He genuinely bonds with other students over his new dog (the dog allowing contact when not in uniform but if Travis’ needs are present will attach itself to Travis’ hip.

Religious trauma and coping. Because PLS, can we please address the amount of abuse because of the Bible?? That boy may stay and follow the proper words of his lord. Or he could detach himself from the church entirely (especially because of the cult!)

Travis ships: Salvis and Larvis

Asked out: Oh. Oh no. How did they fall for Travis?!? What did they do to find that feral little kitten so cute?? Was it they dyed hair? The dresses when he shows off more legs than they anticipated? Him apologizing and changing for the better?? What happened to him to make him so interesting!? Sal absolutely starts approaching Travis cautiously. Taken aback when he's greeted with a warm smile and compliments. They start to grow as friends and spend time together often. Sharing eachother with their friend groups and on their own. It takes a couple of years before Sal nervously asks Travis if he would be interested in getting closer. Travis doesn't understand and Sal just awkwardly blurts out if he would try dating him... for an experiment or anything. Travis is excited, he wants to be closer and happily hugs onto Sal as his answer.

Larry is a lot ore aggressive. Cornering Travis and glaring down at him. Demanding to know what his game is. Travis doesn't fight he just nervously asks if Larry hates him. Larry almost says he does but gets distracted by the trembling and cowering kitten before him. Fuck, he can't possibly hate Travis. Larry instead starts approaching Travis. At first Travis is afraid that Larry will hit him if he doesn't like something he does. Larry hates to admit it, but Travis infested his mind. Dreams were no longer sacred when teenage hormones and a new love interest were involved. Many a times he had to look away when Travis were a particular skirt or dress because his dreams seemed to run rampant with those items. When they finally talk, Travis initiates it. He Pushes Larry into a bathroom stall and demands he explain himself. He's staring at him like a piece of meat and following him around. Larry is scaring HIS friends. Larry doesn't even hesitate to pounce on Travis. Mouth to mouth and hands on ass. Travis surprised but kinda into it allows the kiss until Larry gets too handsy. He returns to his friends with an angry red hand print on his cheek. It takes a month of apologizing Travis finally agrees to give Larry a chance. (Larry tells his mom and dances around the apartment that night)

First kiss failures: Larry got too into the kiss and starts feeling up the poor boy. Sal pecks him in his sleep and never tells Travis. He just happily holds the memory of kissing his sleeping princess.

First dates: Larry tries to show Travis the fun things to do in this sleepy little town. Travis is excited just to go anywhere other than church and school. At first there are a few hiccups, maybe weather, maybe places are crowded or cancelled. But it still ends well with the boys passed out in the truck, snuggled under a blanket Larry stores with a big smile on their face. Sal is much more romantic. Candles and flowers. Dresses up nice and styles his hair in a neat bun. He wants to impress Travis and assert he can be the man for him by presenting more masculine (Travis snorts and tells him even in a dress Sal could fight a bear). Its a simple dinner at home with Gizmo as their lazy server, sleeping on the couch in a little suit. The night ends well with the boys enjoying a night stroll and admiring the calm and almost desolate surroundings of Nockfell.

First Times: Sal does NOT expect Travis to offer it. In fact, he almost shattered his favorite mug with the tight grip he put on it. Travis thinks this means Sal doesn't want him, but no nono, Sal wants it/ He wants Travis bad. That simp wastes no time scurrying to their room, cleaning his bed and all necessary items are prepared. He was well stocked for... college purposes, but Travis offering to give Sal his first?? (Yes. He did a victory dance and scream in the tree house when he thought he was alone.)

First Time: Larry would waste no time, grabbing Travis and making sure, this is what he wants. Larry may sleep around before they got together but he would never expect Travis to offer his first time so soon. Travis agreeing and Larry in tears hugging onto the confused man. He has never been so gentle with a partner and savored every second, sound and action. It may not have been Larry's first but he was more than happy to say it was his best. Larry would 100% scream to Sal about it later though. He is a man that appreciates his partner and would be an aftercare fiend. Relishing in any reactions Travis gives him while massages and treats the poor tired bum.

Living together: Hell hath no fury like Travis on cleaning day. The boys no not to be in his way if he has his cleaning apron and swiffer. The only one allowed to interrupt his most sacred day is Gizmo and any animals they adopt. Larry has to moderate his metal music or sleep on the porch, he tried to test Travis and found the porch uncomfortable during a rainstorm. No ghost hunting after 11pm. If you even think Travis will allow you in the house after hunting ghosts he will promptly pack your bags and ship them off to your parents. Sal has his own room dedicated entirely to clothes and accessories. His prosthetics he tries to hide at first but after a harsh scolding from Travis (while he literally hand cleans every single prosthetic so Sal doesn't get an infection) Sal starts putting them away where he feels comfortable and clean. They don't expect Travis to be semi nude half the time. Especially before they marry and start a family, no pants. Never wearing pants. Larry hams up the free skin. Sal is too embarrassed of his sinful thoughts.

Proposals: Travis would be terrified of marriage after what happened to his mother. If they were to propose they ould make sure he is fully comfortable and settled in their new life. They would make sure he is loved and never feels any of the fear his father had instilled in him. Larry mentions marriage in passing to gauge his reaction. Ig Travis tenses, he kills the conversation and instead distracts Travis. If Travis reacts positively he would sneak a ring on his finger and just smirk until Travis realizes and smiles. Sal =, however, is sneaky. Keeping close tabs on Travis. If Travis starts showing signs of interest, he would 100% plan the biggest proposal for Travis and make sure he feels cherished during every moment.

[grayintogreen]

How do you think Lucien's upbringing was for him to give that evil monologue? I'm specially curious about the "Someone needed to be the parent. When children have been acting out, well, making a mess of their potential, for this long even, a responsible caretaker must show discipline, enact punishment, and take the reins with force". Do you think Lucien was a gifted child who grew up to be the average adult or something like that?

This is actually funny, because Lucien gives that huge ass speech after he EXPLICITLY TOLD THE M9 HE DIDN'T HAVE FAMILY, so like LUCIEN. YOU FUCKING ORPHAN. WHAT DO YOU KNOW.

But I'm going to tell you!

Here's the thing- Lucien gives off two very strong vibes to me, and these two things make up the entire crux of his personality as I, personally see it.

1. Massively self-sufficient.

2. Gifted child who was never challenged properly.

Lucien very much gives off the Dad Friend Vibe of the Tombtakers in like the worst possible way. Like not the NICE Dad Friend. The Dad Friend who has a belt and will use it on you. You know... The, uh... Cult Leader Vibe. What is a cult leader but the worst kind of dad friend. Yikes. Anyway.

So I think most of his speech about caretakers are specific to how HE has viewed wrangling the Tombtakers for however many years he's been doing it, because as someone who has been massively self-sufficient he has had to be his own parent and thus feels he is qualified to be the parent to others, even if he's being a parent to other children. I don't think that came from a place of experience, because I feel like if an adult beat that into him, he would have marginally different issues. Like that whole spiel doesn't sound like it comes from a place of emotional pain, so much as it's just him listing facts about what he thinks parents are supposed to do. It's a very by the book, intellectual response, like someone who has taught himself how to behave like that because It Is Logical And Right. Like in comparison, Lucien, in that same speech, reacts deeply emotionally to one single thing- the way he says "and they chose ME to be their herald" is one of the single most choked up line deliveries he ever gives. THAT is where his emotional pain comes from. He didn't feel special and the Somnovem made him feel special, but WE WILL GET TO THAT. Stick a pin in that.

Honestly, it sounds like Lucien seems to consider ANYONE who isn't him a child, despite the fact that he is CANONLY IN HIS MID-TWENTIES. He talks down to literally every single person he meets. He acts like he walks into rooms, looks at everyone assembled, and immediately is like "wow which of you fucks are wasting your potential in here, have you tried not doing that." I think some of this is just that he has gone so far beyond "enlightenment" that everyone is Lesser than he is, but I also firmly believe he was just Like That. If he sees people who are useful to him, then of course his "parental" nature (re: his manipulative streak) is going to want to try and nurture that potential. I don't even think he actively considers it being manipulative. He thinks he's doing people a favor.

The way he talks about the Somnovem to Cree about how he wanted to save them as they saved him ultimately boils down to this: he believed the Somnovem couldn't function without his intervention and he was the only person who had the skill and imagination to direct them the way they needed to go. And I think he's thought that about A LOT of people over the years. It's not malicious to him. It's not cruel- even if what he does to get obedience probably is. It's for their own good. Again- yikes. He's a fucked up person, y'all.

Now the gifted kid thing gets into some "oh god are you projecting on this villain chris" shit, because I am a former, massively understimulated gifted kid who burned out in high school because I was bored too often and spent more time daydreaming than I did paying attention.

Guess what Lucien's calling card is? Oh right. He's a dreamer.

That's Lucien. Lucien is a gifted kid who had NOWHERE to put his gifts. He's gifted in a town where half the population can't even read, so of course he developed a massive complex about being the smartest in the room, the only TRUE adult, even when he was, yanno a KID.

See when I was in elementary school, I was just soooo smart. I was reading HIGH SCHOOL level books for FUN and ooooooh so cool. Yeah, I'm not even bragging about it. Every gifted kid I have ever met has this same story, and I can be flippant about it because I know where it goes. You get into high school and your brain hits a goddamn brick wall and you get anxiety because you're not the most special anymore. Oh look! There's that pin I put there. I told you we'd circle back to that.

For Lucien, high school was probably the Orders. The Orders are an INTELLIGENCE-BASED organization, meaning for the first time in his life, Lucien isn't the smartest person in the room, because everyone is smart, so he no longer has that advantage he once had and he's no longer special. That is DEVASTATING to deal with, and because Lucien already had a massive superiority complex, instead of burning out and getting passing grades and ultimately resigning himself to a mediocre life of Blood Huntering, he went "no it is the ORDERS who are wrong" and fucked off with his posse.

Which meant that the FIRST THING that made him feel special and validated his existence, he went whole ham on, and then the minute it wasn't what he thought it was, he switched gears and decided "no, I AM special. You just need a little but of parental guidance, and we'll do this properly."

tl;dr: Lucien is 100% what you get when a gifted kid goes absolutely balls to the wall insane. As a former gifted kid, can confirm that I might have sold my soul to a bunch of eldritch sugar daddies if they validated me enough too. I won't lie.

[daydreamingintheimpalax]

Four No’s and a Yes.

Prompt: Write about someone who gets proposed to five times on Christmas Eve.

Warnings: None, cuteness, fluff i guess lol

Dean x Reader (Childhood friends)

Chritsmas Eve 2016.

The Y/L/N’s house was decorated to the T, Mrs. Y/L/N always went all out for Christmas and to say Dean loved it was an understatement. Dean had grown up next door to y/n and her family all his life, every Christmas was spent with his best friend and her family, their families took turns every year on which family would host the big Christmas dinner. It was Christmas eve, this year, Y/n’s family was hosting Christmas Eve and Day. 

He watched as you sat down across from him, the same way you did every year, this time your boyfriend of almost a year sitting next to you. Dean frowned but for the most part accepted him and tried to make Carl as welcome as possible. 

It’s not that he disliked the guys she dated, he just never thought they were good enough for his best friend, it had nothing to do with the fact he’d been inlove wih you almost all his life, despite what Sam and his parents had to say about it. 

The meal conversations began, Dean smiled as he watched Sam’s wife wipe a smudge of food off his brothers face before then placing a small peck on his cheek. He was imsensely happy for his little brother, he had tried to find love himself but despite all the girls that came and went, none were ever good enough to bring home to Mary and John, none ever compared to, well, you. 

“So Dee, any news about that girl you took out last week? She seemed nice.” You ask, shoving a fork of ham into your mouth, he chuckles watching before he replies, “uh no, didn’t pan out, first date and she was already naming our kids.” He shakes his head, cringing. Y/N makes a funny grossed out face, “Yikes, stage 5 clinger”, Dean smirks, “Exactly, not my style, sweetheart.”

“Sweetheart?” Carl pipes up, raising an eyebrow at Dean. Right, Carl hated when Dean called you by a pet name, sucks for him doesn’t it. Dean shrugs, y/n reassures him its just for fun, that they’ve been friends forever and Dean’s the only other man allowed to call her that. Carl doesn’t seem happy but strugs it off. 

It’s almost 9 Pm when Carl speaks, he stands up from the tables, everyone having had a few rounds of wine by now and 50 conversations going on at once. He clears his troat, tapping his champagne glass with his fork, everyone stops, their attention on him. 

“Well, this has been an amazing night, y/n your family is incredible, i’m so happy to have shared this holiday with you all, but tonight, i want to share another moment with you guys, i know how important family is to y/n and i want to make sure i do this right.” He pauses, grabbing y/n’s hand and pulling her up, Dean can see the look on her face, shes shocked and confused, not sure what the hell Carl thinks he’s doing. 

He pulls something out of his pocket, Dean lets out a soft groan before taking a huge chug of his beer, Sam pats his back, a silent signal asking if he’s okay. He shrugs it off. 

“Y/n, i know we haven’t been together as long as other people, but my love for you has no limits, we are a perfect match and you’re a perfect part of me, you make me better, i love you so much, and i don’t want to waste anymore time,” 

He gets down on one knee, Dean watches, slightly angrily as y/n gasps, she slightly looks at Dean and he can see the panicked look on her face, she’s not ready for this, he’s ambushed her. 

“Y/n Y/l/n, would you do me the honor of being my wife, my partner in crime, my forever.” Dean rolls his eyes, his mother swatting his arm and giving him a disapproving look. Y/n stays silent, looking around as everyone watches her, Then, she bolts. 

Dean chases after her to see if she’s okay. 

Carl was never seen again after that night.

Christmas Eve 2017

Christmas was different this year, Their parents had decided they wanted a break from cooking, so they had booked a cruise for vacation, not telling any of their kids until last minute. 

Sam and Jess had decided to have Christmas with her family now that they were expecting their first child. Sam was over the moon at the chance to be a dad, he was going to be an amazing one. 

Dean checks the tickets, finding the seats and throwing the jackets over them, y/n heads towards him, sitting next to him in her own seat and she hands him his beer and the hotdogs she grabbed. Dean was lucky he booked last minute tickets to the wrestling match, not surprised that even on Christmas eve, the stadium was booked solid. 

They enjoy the fights, they’re small local fights, no big names, but they both enjoy it, laughing and enjoying their time together as best friends, it’s been a while. Since she started dating Max four months ago, he barely sees her, he’s insecure, especially when Dean’s around, probably because Dean’s twice his size in height and muscle, but that’s not his problem. Max starts fights with y/n anytime they hang out, so for her sake, he keeps his distance, waiting for her to call him for a hangout instead. 

An hour in and it’s break time, they sit and chat, and before they know it, a voice is speaking over the PA system. “Sorry to interupt everyone, but since we are on a break, it seems like the perfect time to do this. Y/n Y/l/N, if you wouldn’t mind looking up at the jumbotron, we have a message for you from Max.” 

Y/n’s eyes go wide, she looks at Dean curiously and he shrugs, just as confused. She looks at the screen, Max’s smiling face on the screen as he’s handed the microphone. 

“Y/n, i know this is random and out of the blue, but you make me really happy, i know you’re not big on attention and big romantic gestures, but i wanted to do something memorable, so, i was hoping you’d be down for being my wife, will you Marry me?” he speaks, Dean almost can’t believe it, what was with these losers, she deserved to be proposed to, but not so soon and definitely not on the spot, she hated grand gestures that drew attention to her. Y/n barely knew what she wanted to do with her life, let alone to settle down. 

Y/N starts breathing heavy, tears forming as she starts to panic at the whole stadium now staring at her and waiting for her answer, and just like that, yet again, she tries to run but Dean stops her, suggesting they go outside and talk to Max privately before she has a complete anxiety attack.

Another douchebag he never sees again. 

Christmas Eve 2018

Another year, another Christmas Eve, y/n is sitting on Deans couch, the two of them got stuck at the airport due to a snow storm and aren’t making it home for Christmas. They had driven back to Dean’s place and she decided to crash with him, She’d just broken up with her recent douchebag boyfriend and wasn’t in happy spirits. She lies on his couch, sniffling as she watches her favoirte Christmas movie, which is currently everything on the hallmark channel. 

Dean sits next to her, her feet in his lap as he messages her feet, warming them up from the cold. 

“Am i ever going to find the right guy? i mean, at this point it’s become a pattern, every fucking Christmas i end up single and alone, i should just give up finding the perfect guy.” She shrugs, wiping away a stray tear.

Dean sighs, “First off, you’re not alone, you have me. Second, you pick crappy guys, you have shitty ass taste. Give it time, sweetheart, the perfect guy for you is out there, and you’ll find him, you’re just looking in the wrong places.” Dean assures her and she gives him a dry chuckle.

“Oh yea, well if you ever come across prince charming, send him my way.” She rolls her eyes and he laughs. He hates seeing her upset. 

Theyre at the local skating rink when it happens, he finally got her to stop crying enough to take her out and here comes Jack, Jake, Joke, whatever the fuck his name was holding a bouquet of roses and a ring box, smiling widely at her, this jackass really thinks a ring will fix everything he’s done to her. What a damn clown. 

Y/n stops abrutly, eyeing him up and down, she’s definitely angry still. 

“That better not be what the fuck i think it is.” She snaps, tossing the roses in the trash. “Y/n, i know i fucked up, but you’re worth more than-” He’s cut off by the sound of her hand meeting his cheek. 

“NO!” She shouts, a few people now stopping to watch. “You have some NERVE showing up here, after cheating on me and for what? to propose? ARE YOU FUCKING DRUNK? In what fucking small minded universe that you live in do you think proposing to me is going to fix what you broke? No, i will not marry you. Go to hell, Jeff.” She stomps off, as good as she can in skates. 

Jeff, that’s his fucking name. He looks over at me and i shrug. “You fucked that up on your own man, you don’t deserve her.” Dean walks away.

She never mentions Jeff again.

Christmas Eve 2019

Their families get together again, Dean’s family hosts this year, y/n and he had flown home early this year to help with the food and decorations, y/n had run into one of her exes, a guy she dated back in highschool, He’d ran in Sam’s circle of friends, one of his old football buddies. They had gone on a date to catch up, ending up at the local bar with some old highschool friends.

Sam sits next to him, downing his own beer. “Man, why don’t you just tell her you’re her prince charming, watching her get with and dump all these idiots is getting tiring. Even mom and dad know you two belong together.” Sam chuckles, letting out a burp, he’s clearly borderlining between drunk and tipsy. Dean sighs, he’s going to have to call Jessica soon. 

“If i was her soulmate, she’d have noticed by now. I’m not going to make that choice for her. If it’s meant to be, she’ll realize it on her own, not because i forced her to like me.” He shrugs and Sam laughs, “You’re both so stupid.” Sam huffs and shakes his head. 

Before Sam can continue pestering him about his failure to woo Y/n, they hear a commotion, they turn to see Eric covered in beer, calling y/n a bitch and some other not nice words. 

Dean gets protective, not even a split second before he’s standing next to her, shoving Eric away from her. “Easy man, get away from her.” He yells and Eric huffs, throwing his arms in the air, “Whatever, you’re a waste of time, can’t believe i ever dated you, i forgot what it was like being with you.” He snarls before stepping outside, no doubt to light up another blunt. 

Dean frowns, “What happened?” he asks and you laugh. “He proposed, said he missed me and regretted ever breaking things off, said he finally realized i was the one that got away.” She airquotes before she sips her beer, huffing, “Turns out, that’s his game, he was hoping if i said yes i’d be over the moon and jump into bed with him again. Ugh, i hate men.” she grunts before walking out, Dean slaps a few bills on her table before going after her, a semi drunk Sam at his side. 

Chritmas Eve 2020

Christmas Eve dinner is a hit. Changing things up, Dean and Y/n had decided to host this year, flying their families out to vancouver. It’s cold and snowy, but makes Christmas actually feel like Christmas, unlike the warm sunny holiday in california, they love it there, but this year, with the snow, it actually feels like a real Christmas. 

They sit out on the back deck, taking a break from the family game night and friendly comeptition and yelling going on inside. Their families are nuts, but it always makes for a great time. 

Dean’s sure he’s ready, she hasn’t dated anyone since the last proposal, and he’s insane, he’s sure of it, he’s sure just like the others, he’ll be turned down, and he’s willing to make an utter fool of himself, but it’s time, he’s waited long enough, he needs her to know, he needs to tell her, he’ll never be able to truly move on and get over her if he doesn’t at least get an answer on wether she feels the same. 

“How long do you think that bingo game is going to last?” She asks, chuckling and she watches their families fight over who had bingo first. 

“Marry me.” He blurts it out without even realizing it. That’s not how he wanted that whole thing to go, he had planned it out, but plans go out the window when you spend time obsessing on things being perfect.

“What?” She’s stunned, but she hasn’t run away yet, and she’s not hyperventilating, that’s a good sign. He begins to babble like a damn idiot.

“I don’t have a ring, or a proper set up like a jumbotron or some shit, and this isn’t even how i planned on this day going, i’m not perfect, and i have my flaws, hell i’m so fucked up i’d be insane to think i even deserve even half your love, but i’m crazy about you, and i have been since 5th grade, when you gave me my first valentines card because no one in class gave me one and then kissed my cheek and told me you’d always be my valentine. I guess, what i’m trying to say is i may not be your prince charming, but you’ve always been my girl, i’ve never chosen anyone but you, and i realize, i don’t ever want anyone, except you.” He finally takes a breath, too scared to make eye contact, and he sighs.

“I know this is stupid and random and you can totally say no or run away if th-” 

“Yes.” She stuns him, completely silencing his rant.

He finally meets her eyes, “What?” He asks, sure as shit he heard her wrong. 

“Yes, Winchester, i’ll marry you.” She says, this time clear as day. 

He huffs out a laugh, “ Wait, seriously?” he asks, stunned and still thinking she has to be fucking with him.

She shrugs and smiles, “Yeah, I’ve known you all my life, you were always my prince charming, my perfect match, i was just waiting for you to figure it out.” She laughs. Dean’s eyes roam her face, for the first time, seeing how perfect she really is for him. 

“I literally could have been with you this entire time?” he raises and eyebrow and she shrugs, smiling. He shakes his head, not believing his own stupidity before he takes full advatnge, leaning in and finally claiming what’s been his this entire time. 

Safe to say, that was the last proposal she ever recieved. 

[snelbz]

Lost Time {10}

A/N: A sweet and emotional chapter for you!

Co-written by @tacmc.

FIND PREVIOUS CHAPTERS HERE

SHELBY’S ASK BOX // SHELBY’S MASTERLIST

TARA’S ASK BOX // TARA’S MASTERLIST

Azriel’s eyes slowly opened. With a yawn, he rolled onto his back, completely unaware of how long he’d been out. He flung out his arm to the other side of the bed, but found it empty. The pillow and the sheets on her side of the bed were still disheveled, so he assumed she had just gotten up.

“Elain?” he called, his voice tired and his throat was still dry from his mass alcohol consumption.

No reply came, and when he looked to the bathroom door, it was wide open. He fell back on the pillows, assuming she had just gone out for some ice or a quick phone call.

After running his hands through his wild, messy hair, he took her pillow and brought it close to him, propping it beneath his head. Her scent lingered, like lilies and vanilla, along with the scent of what they’d done.

He remembered every time he had ever made love to Elain, but none of them compared to what they’d done. It was more than sex. It had always been more than sex with her, but this time, it was the reconnection of two souls.

Turning his face into the pillow, he inhaled deeply and he swore that the mingling scents of her and of sex still hanging in their room had him ready to go again, though that was probably thanks to his morning wood, as well. He closed his eyes letting himself doze for a few more minutes, until he realized that her side of the bed wasn’t just empty. It was cold.

He sat up, half expecting to find her sitting at the desk, flipping through his pictures again. Except she wasn’t there.

The empty feeling in his chest was so strong that he wondered if there’d ever been anything in there before. He pulled his knees up and rested his arms on them, the blanket draped across, and hung his head. He blew out a sharp breath.

Fuck. So that was what it felt like.

He looked around the room, not finding a single thing out of place that belonged to her. Even his laptop was sitting in the exact same place he’d left it.

It couldn’t have been a dream, there was no way. There was no cosmic being out there that was that much of an asshole. Azriel dragged his hand down his face and he froze.

He could still still smell her on his fingers. It was no dream.

Without another thought, he was out of bed, reaching for the shirt and sweats that had been discarded at the end of the bed. He had to-.

The lock made a whirring noise as the keycard was used and the door opened. Elain stepped in and found Azriel standing at the end of the bed, very confused and very naked. Her eyes trailed down his body and she kicked her lips before she said, “I went to get lunch.”

He looked down at that moment and found the note scribbled on the scratch pad on the desk. He cleared his throat, “I see that.”

She raised a brow as she kicked the door shut and carried a large paper bag to the little table by the window. “You look frazzled.”

Azriel hesitated, then tugged on his sweatpants as she set out the contents from the paper bag. It smelled delicious. “I just…” He trailed off, and shook his head before coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. She leaned back into him and smiled.

“There’s a decent cup of coffee there to erase the crappy hotel coffee you had this morning,” she said, quietly, nodding to a large cup in the middle of the table.

“Thank you,” he whispered into her ear before nibbling at her earlobe.

She giggled, softly, before turning around to look up into his soft, hazel eyes.

“You went to the Tavern,” he said, kissing her nose.

“I did,” she grinned.

“I love the Tavern.”

“I know,” she said, falling into his chest, pressing her lips between his pecs. “You also love their ham and swiss sandwiches, on homemade rye bread, with their homemade chips, which is what I got you.”

Gods, he’d missed her.

Her lips continued to move lower.

He’d really, really missed her.

By the time he got to his sandwich and coffee, he’d had to heat it up in the small microwave on top of the fridge. Elain ate her BLT, his arm lazily wrapped around her as they leaned back against the pillows.

“So,” Elain began, pulling a piece of bacon from between the two pieces of bread and feeding it to him. He detested tomatoes, but had been eyeing the bacon since she unwrapped it. “What have you been doing the past four years?”

He laughed as he mindlessly dragged his finger along her bare shoulder. “You want the full breakdown or the cliff notes version?”

She debated. “Cliff notes.”

Azriel nodded, taking another massive bite of his sandwich before giving his answer. “Taking pictures.”

She stared up at him, waiting for him to elaborate, but he just went back to eating his sandwich. “Okay,” she said, blinking, “when I said to give me the shorter version, I didn’t think it’d be that short.”

He laughed, quietly, before setting his sandwich down on the wrapping and popping a chip into his mouth. “I mean, that’s pretty much all I’ve done. Travel, take pictures…” He shrugged. “Send those pictures into the magazines or websites that hired me to take them, and then I repeat the process.”

“Do you still want to travel?” Elain asked. “When companies ask you to?”

His smile softened. “If you come with me, of course.”

Elain chuckled and nudged him in the ribs before taking another little bite of her BLT - although it was now nearly baconless. “I don’t know, you never were a good travelling companion.”

“That’s not true,” he argued.

She rolled her eyes. “You got carsick when we went up to the mountains and we had to pull over every five minutes for you to puke.”

Azriel’s lips pursed which only made Elain laugh louder. As she laid her head against his shoulder, he said, “I’ve come a long way.”

She patted his knee, her laughing simmering, as she finished off her sandwich.

“What about you? What have you been doing the past four years?” he asked, taking her hand into his. “Aside from taking care of Novan, of course.”

She shrugged. “That’s mostly it. He’s taken up most of my time, but your parents have been the biggest help. Whenever I have to work my shifts, it means he gets a day with his Meme.”

Azriel’s brow furrowed. “Shifts? You have a job?”

She laughed. “Yes, a part time job. I have to pay for things, of course. It’s not like I had a baby daddy that could send me money every week.”

He raised an eyebrow as he looked down at her and she stuck out her tongue at him. “I work at the antique shop in the square in the mornings.”

He tilted his head to the side and asked, “What about the flower shop you were going to open?”

She chuckled, but the sound was much sadder than her last laugh and when she rested her head back into the crook of his neck, his arm tightened around her. “Being a single mother doesn’t leave much time for your own dreams.”

An overwhelming sense of guilt crashed into him as he rubbed her arm. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing,” Elain whispered. “I didn’t say it to make you feel bad, but it’s the truth.”

“I do need to keep apologizing,” Azriel said, then looked down at her and lifted her chin to meet his gaze. “I want to be a part of his life now, Elain. I want to help, do my part. I want us to be a family.”

Her eyes softened as she let out a long, slow breath.

Azriel hesitated, his hand falling onto his lap. “You do want to tell him that I’m his dad, right?”

It came out more insecure than he’d intended, but a sudden fear settled in the pit of his stomach.

Elain gave him a comforting smile. “Of course, I do. I just...don’t know how.”

He swallowed, roughly, and asked, “Do you want to wait? Until things have settled down from dad dying?”

Elain saw the guttering in Azriel’s eyes and she took his hand in her own, looking down as their fingers intertwined. “Are you okay? From losing him?”

For a moment, Azriel said nothing. He tried to sort his emotions, tried to put everything he felt into a simple sentence. Eventually, he came up with, “No. I should’ve been around, you know? I hadn’t seen him in years, and then he died. There was so much I didn’t get to say to him, so much we didn’t get to do. And now I won’t get the chance.”

Elain nodded, staring at their hands, clasped together. “Novan sure loved him. And Drakon always talked about how Novan reminded him of you.”

Azriel gave her a curious look, because Elain laughed. “We all see it. His little mannerisms, the looks he gives, the light in his eyes when he’s excited about something. You may not have been there for the last few years with Drakon, Azriel, but every time he was around Novan, which was often, he had a little piece of you there with him.”

If Elain saw the silver lining her eyes, she didn’t say anything, just let him process her words. He turned towards the wall, sniffling quietly, and he wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand. When he turned back to her, his eyes were sad, yes, but they were soft. He tugged her down into the pillows, and she didn’t hesitate to lay her head over his heart. They laid like that for a while, neither of them saying anything. Occasionally, she’d brush her lips against his chest or he’d press a soft kiss to the top of her head. Azriel had always needed quiet moments to process his thoughts and one of the things he loved about Elain is that she never felt the need to fill every spare moment with mindless chatter, just for the sake of talking.

When Azriel did finally speak, his words were strong and steady, as he said, “I promise, Elain, I’m going to do whatever it takes to be the father Novan has always dreamed of.” But he paused, and then his voice was shaking when he added, “The father that dad expected me to be.”

She gently rested her palm against his cheek as she breathed, “I know. I believe you. And you’re going to be a damn good dad.”

Azriel nodded, mostly because he didn’t trust himself to speak.

“You should come with me,” she said, running her fingertips along his forearm. “When I pick him up from your mom.”

“Okay,” he said, quietly. “I will.”

She smiled before taking his face into her hands and kissing his mouth, softly, then again and again until her back was pressed down against the blankets and he was lying on top of her, propped on his elbows.

“I don’t want to stop kissing you,” he said, muttered against her lips. “Ever.”

“Then don’t,” she shot back, her hands trailing down his back, to his ass, which is where they remained.

He decided he wouldn’t, not for a little while at least. Though it wasn’t always her mouth he was kissing.

They were lounging in the tub when the questions started. “What was his first word?”

Elain smiled, settling back against his chest, scooting deeper into the water. “Meme, but she’s always been his favorite, so none of us ever had a chance.”

A full smile, full of love for his sweet mother. “What has he been for Halloween?”

“Let’s see.” She licked her lips as she thought and Azriel wanted to turn her and capture them with his own. “He was a spider when he was a baby, a t-rex when he was two, he was a cop with Uncle Cass last year, and so far, it seems we’re on par to be a cop again.”

He laughed, loving the warmth in her eyes when she talked about their son. And on and on his questions went. Some were superficial - has he ever broken a bone, what’s his favorite sport, is he scared of monsters - while others were harder for Elain to answer - what did you tell him when he first asked where I was, does he care for Lucien, how did he handle the death of his Papa.

The mention of Azriel’s dad had his heart feeling heavy again.

“Thank you,” he said, quietly, his mouth by her ear raising goosebumps on her arms.

She turned to look at him, but he was staring ahead. “For what?”

He blinked away the moisture in his eyes, and he knew it wouldn’t be the last time, not by a long shot. “For letting my family be in his life. Even after my poor choices.”

She snorted, which was not the reaction he was expecting. “You act like I would have been able to anyways. Cassian was practically pacing outside of my room when he was in the NICU.”

“In the NICU?” Azriel asked, turning his body to look at her. “Why was he in the NICU?”

“He was born eight weeks early,” she said, quietly. “You’d never know it by looking at him, but he struggled for a few weeks. At first, they weren’t sure if he was going to make it or not. But he did, and he thrived.”

Another reason for Azriel to feel guilty, another thing to add to his list, but Elain was taking her hand into his as he said, “Strong. Just like his mommy.”

Elain looked over her shoulder and smiled, softly. “I guess he should’ve gotten something from me.”

Azriel’s simple smile turned into a wide grin. “He got everything from you, it seems. All but his appearance.”

“Did you know it?” Elain asked. “When you saw him for the first time, did you know he was yours?”

“Yes,” Azriel breathed. “I didn’t admit it to myself...I was confused; but, I knew.”

A soft smile graced Elain’s lips. “I wish you could have seen your face. You looked like you’d seen a ghost.”

He laughed quietly, the sound rumbling in his chest. “So did you.”

“I thought I was,” she quietly admitted. “For a moment, I thought I had to be dreaming, but then Nesta slapped you and I knew I was awake.” She was smiling broadly by the end of her sentence.

He shook his head, his cheeks tinting pink, remembering when he found all eyes on him. “I’m glad she didn’t punch me, cause I think she’d have a hell of a right hook.”

Elain asked, “You forget who her fiancé is.”

He blew out a breath. “How could I? That’s- I never thought that- How did that even happen?”

She laughed. “I don’t know, but it’s like they were at each other’s throats like always and then overnight, they truly found each other and it’s been that way ever since.”

Az nodded and was about to say something when Elain’s phone began to ring from the bedroom.

“Shit, that’s your mom,” she said, recognizing the ringtone.

Azriel was out of the bathtub in seconds, carefully hurrying into the bedroom and answering Elain’s phone. “Hey, mom. Is everything okay?”

The beat of silence told Azriel that Miryam hadn’t been expecting to hear her youngest son’s voice. “Yes, everything is fine. Are...you with Elain?”

He cleared his throat. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Hmmm.”

That one sound had more meaning to it than some speeches. He repeated, “Hmmm?”

She just repeated, “Hmmm.” Az was about to say something when Miryam said, “Would you mind asking Elain what time she was going to pick up Novan? I thought I might take him out for dinner tonight.”

He moved the phone away from his face and turned back to the bathroom, where Elain was getting out of the draining bathtub, toweling off her naked body. He swallowed hard and asked, “Mom wants to take Novan to dinner, what time did you want to get him?”

She wrapped the towel around her breasts and tied her hair up in a loose bun. “Dinner is fine, so around six-thirty or seven.”

He relayed the message. “We can be there about seven.”

“We…” Miryam repeated. “Hmmm.”

“Mom,” Azriel warned.

“I didn’t say anything,” she defended, but he could hear the smile in her voice. “I’ll see you in a bit. I love you.”

“Love you, mom.” He hung you the phone and Elain walked towards him with a dry towel.

She looked at him with an arched brow. “Did she say everything was okay?”

“With Novan? Yes,” Azriel said. “With us, she sounded a little suspicious.”

Elain chuckled. “And what did she think was happening here?”

She wrapped her arms around Azriel’s bare waist, and he was just remembering that he was completely nude. “Probably exactly what’s happening.”

She laughed, quietly, before she looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. “We have three hours yet before we need to get Novan. We could go out to dinner, too.”

Azriel grinned. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

“Maybe,” she said, jabbing him in the chest. “If you’re lucky.”

“And am I lucky?” he asked, quietly, before leaning down to catch her lips with his own.

“I don’t know,” she said, quietly. “Are you?”

“I’m feeling pretty damn lucky,” he whispered. They barely made it out of the room, when all it took was a look from across the room and jeans being zipped were forgotten as their lips found one another’s again. But eventually, Elain managed to finish her makeup and slip on the sun dress she’d grabbed from the house on her food run.

The low whistle from Az as she stepped into the small living area wasn’t complimentary enough. “Gods, you look…”

He stood, stepping towards her and before he could kiss her, she put a hand to his chest. “I’m starving and if you kiss me now, we’ll never leave.”

Azriel arched a brow. “You act like that’s a bad thing.”

“I’m starving,” she repeated. “If I wait any longer to eat, I’m eating you.”

“Doesn’t sound so bad,” he mumbled, and she nudged him in the shoulder as he laughed, and took her hand, and led her out of the room. Considering his truck was still at the bar, which they made a mental note to grab on the way back, Azriel fell into the passenger side of Elain’s car.

The same car she’d always had.

“Alright,” he said, putting on his seatbelt. “Where are you taking me?”

She asked. “You didn’t start any weird celebrity diets or anything, right? You still eat normal food?”

He laughed. “I still eat the same shit I used to.”

“I just had to make sure, because since you look like that and you were in New York,” she said. “I was making sure you weren’t vegan or something suddenly.”

“No, I couldn’t,” he said, shaking his head. “I love bacon too much.”

She laughed and said, “Good, I know just the place.”

Rita’s was a pizzeria that had been in Velaris for as long as anyone could remember. Their pizzas were made from scratch every single time and when they pulled up, Azriel couldn’t help the smile on his face.

They were seated quickly and after ordering their drinks, they sat across from each other in the booth. Azriel was smirking at her and Elain couldn’t take it anymore. “What?”

His smile grew. “You think I forgot.”

The picture of innocence. “Forgot what?”

He took her hand, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. “That this is where I took you on our first date.”

Her smile was wide, bright. “I would never accuse you of forgetting.”

Azriel laughed, quietly. “That was a good night.”

“You were a nervous wreck,” she said, shaking her head.

“I was,” he agreed. “And I had a right to be. You were stunning. I had no idea why you said yes to going out with me.”

“Why wouldn’t I have?” Elain grinned. “You were sweet. And my friend.”

“You were so beautiful,” he said, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. “Kind, genuine, funny, talented. My dream girl.”

Elain blushed, but she simply asked, “Is that so?”

Azriel nodded. “I tried on five different outfits before I came and picked you up.”

She blinked. “All of your clothes looked the same.”

He laughed. “Exactly, I think it’s been established that I was a nervous wreck. But, how couldn't I be? I was taking Elain Archeron out on a date.”

“And how was she?” Elain asked, intrigued. “This Elain Archeron?”

“Hmmm.” Azriel leaned back in his chair. “Well, she kisses on the first date, I’ll tell you that.”

Elain’s cheeks turned pink as she remembered how he kissed her goodnight on the front porch. She opened her menu and flipped through the pages though nothing she looked at registered. “You know what they say about a girl who kisses on the first date,” she said, finally glancing up at him.

“What’s that?” He asked, opening his own menu, but not even bothering to look down at it.

“She’d been dreaming of kissing you for years, you just finally gave her the opportunity to do so.”

Azriel’s eyes softened and he leaned forward, brushing his lips across her knuckles. “What about on the second first date? Anything she’s been dreaming of for years this time?”

“Only what we’ve already done today,” she replied, quietly, her cheeks reddened. “As for what comes next, you’ll have to finish the date first.”

Azriel was grateful he was sitting because his knees grew weak. He couldn’t imagine anything better than the moments they’d already shared that day,

“This will be our last first date,” he promised, quietly, and Elain’s smile softened. “I promise you that.”

Elain nodded, her fingers tightening around his hand. “You better mean that, Azriel Draeven.”

“I mean it,” he promised. “I swear it.”

She nodded, as her eyes lined with tears, her smile bright. Just as she was about to say something more, the waitress came to take their order. Neither of them had looked at the menu, but they ended up ordering a pizza to share, with pepperoni and ham, the same that they had on their very first date.

They finished their pizza and Azriel paid before they walked out of Rita’s, hand in hand. The evening was comfortable and they had another hour or so before they were supposed to get Donovan, so they walked through the Square. They talked about storefronts that had changed in the past few years and the ones that stayed the same. Azriel was relieved when he saw that the ice cream parlor on the corner still remained and he pulled her in that direction. Elain only shook her head and laughed, as once again, Azriel proved he was Novan’s dad.

Elain carried her small cup, and Azriel attempted to eat his cone with two scoops while the walked but eventually, they stepped off and sat at one of the benches overlooking the park. Az wiped the last bit of chocolate ice cream from his face and pointed at a sign. “Is that the antique shop you work for?” Elain nodded and he asked, “What do you do for them?”

She shrugged. “A little is everything. I appraise what I can, but I leave that to them as often as I can. I answer questions, I check people out. But mostly, I salvaged and re-finish the furniture.”

“Really?” He asked. “That sounds fun.”

She shrugged. “As far as jobs go, I definitely can’t complain.”

“Is any of that furniture in your house?” Azriel asked. Last time he was there, looking at the furniture was the last thing on his mind.

“There’s a table against the wall right when you walk in the front door that I re-finished.” She smiled at Azriel’s impressed look. “The coffee table, too.”

“Nice,” he said, and meant it. “I didn’t know you were into such things.”

She shrugged. “Like I said, it’s a job. But, it’s enjoyable, and pretty relaxing. I’ll be able to do more of it when Novan goes to school next year.”

Azriel smiled and checked his watch. “Speaking of, it’s getting close to seven. We should probably get you over to moms.”

Elain nodded, then kissed him, sweetly. “I had a nice second first date.”

“I did, too.” He pressed his lips to hers again and said, “Why don’t we try to-.”

Elain’s phone rang again, the tone belonging to Miryam ringing out. She fished it from her purse and pressed it to her ear. “Hi, I’m so sorry, we stopped for dinner and time got away from us.”

Azriel watched as Elain’s brow furrowed while she listened to Miryam. And then she blushed, eyes going wide as she glanced up at Azriel and then down at the ground. “Yes, ma’am. Yes, ma’am. We’ll see you tomorrow. Have him call to say goodnight before bed, please. I love you, too.”

Elain pulled the phone from her ear and said, “Your mom is going to keep Novan for the night.”

Azriel’s mouth dried out as he realized that meant he got a full night with her, uninterrupted. Even he surprised himself when he said, “Come have a drink with me.”

Her smile grew. “You’re not still paying for last night?”

Azriel laughed, quietly. “I can handle a drink with you.”

“Fine,” she said, starting to walk again, tugging on his hand. “But I pick the place.”

“Do you even know of a place that sells alcohol?” He asked.

She laughed, and nudged him in the side before she said, “Yes! I drink. Sometimes. I mean, me and my sisters go out, from time to time.”

Azriel watched her, amused. She used to never drink, used to be the designated driver at every event.

“Alright,” Azriel said, unable to stop grinning for even a second. “Lead the way, Lainy.”

At the sound of her old nickname, she looked at him with narrowed eyes, her smile so vulnerable and beautiful that it sent chills down his spine.

She took his hand and led him towards the car, still parked at Rita’s.

[passivenovember]

Sometimes I get really high and cry about how I don’t have anything from my childhood home. So here’s this.

WARNINGS FOR: mentions of suicide, Billy healing from the incident at Starcourt.

--

He’s never been fed by what is inherently sentimental. Even as a little boy, those precious creatures that lived on the highest shelf in his heart were easily destroyed or ripped away by the person he was becoming. Stuffed toys fell to pieces under the heat of his anger, the toxic potion that was brewing under the surface of his skin ate away at the rose-colored hue surrounding his childhood home to the point of absolute degradation. 

Billy doesn't remember a time when he longed for the sanctity of his bedroom. For the pale yellow sunlight streaming past blood stained Thomas the Train curtains, or the box of broken toys that Neil had left alone. He doesn't remember when it happened, when the flip switched and his longing went from missing Saturday morning cartoons in his parents bed to simply missing his mother and all the things she had taken when she jumped off the roof.

It wasn't always like that. Billy remembers something else. He remembers a blanket that smelled like cinnamon toast crunch, adorned with microscopic holes he liked to such his thumb through. He remembers a set of roller blades the color of crushed mustard seeds; Neil taught him to skate. No one knows that, no one remembers, but Billy. Does, he. Remembers strong fingers laced with his own, holding tightly while Billy figured out how to maneuver the cracks in the sidewalk. 

Billy is haunted by a time when his fathers hands were good for other things. 

--

Before Hawkins. Before that night when the demon punched a hole through his chest, Billy had been giving things away. To lighten the load, he supposes, that which had become unbearable.

First it was his skateboard. 

Max wanted it.

At the time he didn't think it was as simple as all that; his bitchy kid sister begging, day in and day out for access to the magic carpet that sat entombed in Billy's closet. He hadn't used it in years, ever a slave to the bright blue ocean, but it didn't matter. It was the principal of the thing, the skateboard to his kneecap.

Max took and took and took until Billy had nothing left to give. She said you don't even use it anymore and Billy said doesn't matter, you can't skate.

Neil told him it could be good for bonding.

Neil told him Max was a good kid, she deserved to have something of her own in their house on Willowbrook Avenue.

Neil told him to hand it over before I stick it up your ass, kid.

So Billy ground his teeth together and tried to push down the aching emptiness at tossing away the last thing his grandmama had given him before she passed away. It was the principal of the thing--if Ruthann were still around she'd tell him to let the kid have it. Let her have something of her own, so. He polished its bearings and left it outside her bedroom door, pretended to read until she came knocking an hour later with confusion twisting her freckled face to shit.

You're sure I can have it. She asked.

And.

Yeah.  I'll teach you. 

He wonders if Max remembers those afternoons in the driveway that morphed into weekends at the skatepark with Max scuffing up the wheels and Billy tapping into his thin line of patience. Wonders if she's plagued by the memory of hidden smiles and misplaced affection, because. Billy had thought it would hurt more, giving away a piece of his childhood like that, but. He had long since stopped attaching emotional worth to things that broke. Things that crumbled.

He wonders if Max remembers a time when his hands were good for other things.

--

Billy made a habit of throwing away the things that weighed him down. 

The skateboard, the blanket that smelled like cereal milk, he thought all of it made him weak. The more shit he had that mattered to him the more he had to lose, so. Every Spring Billy would wrap his fingers around the mouth of a big black trash bag and lighten his load. Scoop armfuls of his childhood into the abyss that always, somehow, incredibly operated as a portal to Max's room.

Sometimes he wondered if she even had a personality or if everything she had, everything she was, came directly from Billy's dumpster.

One man's trash, and all that. 

She wore his old shirts. Read his books, hung discarded posters of naked chick's on the insides of her closet doors for some fucking reason, and. In a weird way Billy felt like maybe he was being immortalized. Every phase of his life was shone back at him like the surface of a lake, or a shiny new penny on the dashboard of the Camaro, and he felt good. Useful, for his trash becoming someone's gold. 

So Billy kept tossing things out.

Reorganizing and downsizing until his room looked like a generic movie set for a troubled teen. Every weekend Billy packed the little pieces of himself into neat trash bags, tying the lip closed and leaving them for max. Nestled at the foot of her door, like a bargain brand Christmas gift that was not at all what she had asked for. Gifts that came 52 times a year.

The bags always vanished. Billy felt heavy and light. Heavy and light. In the end he wasn't sad to see it go.

--

Maybe it was just a side effect of growing up in the big, empty house on the hill and fighting the incessant need to fill it with shit but Steve Harrington was a packrat. The kid never got rid of anything. Before Starcourt. Before that night when the demon punched a hole through his chest, Billy would tease him about it.

What, like you need five binders full of empty laminate pages?

Steve's tongue would poke out of the corner of his mouth while his fingertips brushed the offended plastic. I'm going to start scrapbooking. 

And that was is usual way, to find an explanation, a inarguable reason for all the junk in his life, but.

Billy thought it was okay to have things around for comfort.

Wasn't really his style, but it was Steve's and Billy didn't stop the kid from collecting whatever he could get those slim fingers on. Old NATARI cartages, broken HAM radio antenna's, torn polaroid's, annual Moms of Loch Nora Bake sale t-shirts; he kept everything in case an old timey push mower could prove itself to be useful.

Before that night when the demon punched a hole in his chest, Billy would smirk. What sad sack wants a MILF's face on his chest?

Steve just shrugged his shoulders. Someone could need it.

And Billy just snorted, because.

Harrington's a weird guy.

Thoughtful and pretty and so, so fucking weird.

When they brought Billy home from the hospital he slept in a shirt with Karen Wheelers face on it, every night for a week.

Funny how it all comes back around.

--

He spends a lot of time in bed with the covers pulled up under his chin. Draped in Steve's ridiculous knit sweaters and thick woolen socks because everything is cold, now. As if winter has settled rough and desperate into the very marrow of his bones and even though the fabric rubs too harshly against the healing rise of his stitched skin, Billy can't shed even a single layer for fear of freezing to death.

That's what it had felt like Before Starcourt. Before the monster punched a hole through his chest, when it just had its fingers inside his skull.

Endless winter.

Steve buys every type of heated blanket on the market. Searches high and low for expensive down t-shirts that will help you feel more comfortable, but. Billy doesn't even remember what that's supposed to feel like.

Steve says comfort feels like sleeping in on Saturday mornings because you don't have anywhere to be. Home sounds like your mother fixing pancakes just before lunch time but--oh. Everyone always remembers half a second too late. Billy tries to smile, tries to accept the help Steve gives him--he wears the sweaters and keeps the socks on after his morning bath even though he's not really a sock person because Steve is so hopeful.

Bright.

Steve smiles over the mug of hot cocoa he fixes Billy every morning and hopes. If we start the day warm, who knows?

Billy doesn't have the heart to tell him.

--

Steve spends a lot of time in bed. Plastered to Billy's skin--chest to back because Billy needs to feel like he's protecting something, after Starcourt. After that night when the demon punched a hole through his chest. 

Sometimes Billy feels like Maxine. 

Stealing bits and pieces from someone's garbage can. Here he is, sleeping in Steve's bed wearing Steve's clothes taking up such a large part of Steve's life, and.

Pretty Boy just snuggles closer and lends his warmth in more ways than one.

Billy doesn't always know how to handle it when those milky brown eyes watch him roll around under the covers until his body finally feels at peace. Every night Billy closes his eyes says the same thing. "I can be out of here by next week, if you--" Afraid to look for fear that he'll see relief reflected back at him.

Every night Steve says the same thing in return. "You're my whole world now, Billy." 

As if that's supposed to get the car back on track. As if Billy hasn't veered off the road and crashed into a tree every single day since--

"Maybe it would make you feel better if, you know." Steve shuffles impossibly closer, the hot line of him charring Billy's skin even through the layers of wool. "If you had something familiar."

"You're familiar."

Steve's flesh burns even hotter. Eyes shining even bright, at that. Something almost like love. "I meant something from your childhood."

Billy rolls onto his side.

Steve moves with him without even thinking about it--chest to back because Steve needs to feel useful, after Starcourt. After that night when Billy hit the floor and the light went out of his eyes. Billy's chest rises against the palm of Steve's hand, where it's pressed against him. Steve will never get tired of that motion.

"I don't have anything from my childhood."

Which. "Not even at home?"

"This is home now." Billy sounds like he doesn't want to talk about it, but.

Steve can't bring himself to care. Or maybe stop caring. "I meant at Neil's."

"Got rid of all that shit." He can hear the tremor in Steve's voice, when the boy finally finds it.

"Neil got rid of your--"

"No." Billy says simply. "I did."

He can hear the wheels turning in that beautiful head. Steve swallows, the movement palpable in the thick night air. "But. Don't you miss it?"

After a while Billy shakes his head in the darkness, curls catching on the plaid pillowcase. It takes Steve a moment to decipher what it means, how it makes him feel that Billy can so easily toss away the things that no longer serve him. 

They're quiet for a while. So long that Billy's breathing goes deep and even, a clear indicator that he's fallen asleep. Steve knows it won't last long, knows the nightmares wake him up, and.

Steve always stays awake through the first three to give Billy something familiar to hold onto.

[come-on-shitty-boys]

// fatherhood headcannons //

Characters: Kozume Kenma / Akaashi Keiji / Oikawa Tooru

Request: Heyyy merry xmas (if you celebrate it) can I request kenma fatherhood hcs I saw you other ones before and it was so cute (and maybe him having a daughter )

Warnings: some swearing

Word Count: 1.8K (~550 a piece)

Notes: bokuto with stretch marks. That’s all. That’s the note.

Kozume Kenma:

Oof how to put this nicely . . . 

He was terrible. Absolute t r a s h during the pregnancy.  And it wasn’t on purpose.  He wasn’t just sitting there purposefully dismissing your aches and hormone-induced cries.  Kenma just didn’t know that it was actually a big deal.  He didn’t know that you were genuinely in serious amounts of discomfort.

You would say that your back was hurting and he’d be like, “yeah, mine too.”  Which is v a l i d.  He has videos to edit, so he spends a lot of time hunched over his desk, but you’re also carrying a child. H I S C H I L D so he could stand to be a little more sympathetic.

Morning sickness? He’s not about to be there to hold your hair back.  He’s still fast asleep.  Probably didn’t even know that you weren’t feeling well.  Kenma isn’t a total jerk about it.  He does care about you! I need to make that clear.  He does care.  He’ll ask you if you’re feeling better when you mention that you were sick earlier that day, ask if you need anything from the store, etc etc.

It’s really more or less the fact that he’s going to be a dad in less than nine months hasn’t fully set in??  He knows that you’re pregnant.  He’s been there for the ultrasounds.  He’s heard the heartbeat.  He knows that there will be a baby, but it’s like his brain hasn’t processed that it’s his baby yet.

And it doesn’t fully hit him until you wake him up in the night, hitting his shoulder frantically, saying that something doesn’t feel right and in his sleepy haze he can only think to ask-

“Is the baby okay?”

bitch i don’t know that’s the problem 

But he’s out of bed faster than you are, practically shoving shoes on your feet to get you out the door and into the car. pspsps there was no problem just l a b o r

Kenma didn’t cry when the baby arrived, honestly he didn’t even make any moves to hold his little girl when you offered her out to him.  He was just so in awe?  He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.  She was so tiny and he was so scared that he might break her if he tried to hold her.

It takes him awhile to settle into the whole fatherhood thing, but once he gets it, he gets it.  He becomes some kind of expert multitasker.  He’s got the guys on discord through his headset, heating up formula, daughter strapped to his chest with one of those baby holders, ready to get back to gaming with his little girl right there.

She makes a few guest appearances during his streams, because she’ll start crying, wanting attention or to be fed, which brings him to sitting at his desk, bouncing his baby on his lap, continuing on with his stream like it’s the most normal thing in the world, watching as his chat blows up with people obsessing over how cute his daughter is.

Akaashi Keiji

I’m sure this a shock to everyone, but Akaashi is fucking clueless.  He was an only child and his best friend is the youngest?  He never really had to think about babies before.

He tries to research, but he gets so caught up in, ‘Is this a credible source? Can I trust what they’re telling me?’ that he learns absolutely nothing.  Like he knows all of the actual science behind what’s happening, but he has no idea how to take care of a baby.  What kind of diapers are the best?  Should you breastfeed or would formula be the better option?  How quickly should you be trying to teach them things like speech or walking?

Lucky for Akaashi, when his female co-workers, especially the ones who were mothers themselves, found out the exciting news that Akaashi was expecting a baby with you they were giving him every piece of advice under the sun.  “You need to establish a sleep routine!  It’ll take a while, but the baby will get it eventually!” “I know they say that you shouldn’t run to your baby every single time they cry, but that’s actually really harmful for their psyche in the long run.” “Make sure to play lots of classical music, especially early on.  It helps with development!”

When it comes to you, he’s pretty hit or miss?  He’s observant! Absolutely! But, he’s not really sure how to help you when you’re feeling insecure about your body or scared that you’re not going to be a good parent.  He can tell you that you’re beautiful or that everything will be okay, but it never fails to make the situation worse because, “You’re my husband.  You have to say that.”

The hormones.  They do be throwing hands with him smh

Akaashi spent the entire last two months of your pregnancy baby proofing the entire house.  If you wanted a glass of milk, it took you nearly 10 minutes.  You know he means well, but he definitely went a little overboard.

He used to give your forehead a kiss every morning before he left for work, but now Keiji will lean in to kiss your forehead before squatting down to place a kiss on your stomach

He also helps you get ready in the morning.  Your range of motion definitely isn’t what it used to be now that you have a baby bump, so he’s more than willing to help you tie your shoes or hook your bra if you need him to.

PANICKED BOY DURING DELIVERY

Everything that he was told just left his brain and he suddenly forgot everything that he had been told.  He was holding onto your hand just as tightly as you were holding onto his, but he’s trying his best for your sake.

But the first moment that he sees his little baby all swaddled up in that blanket, you swear that you’ve never seen Akaashi’s eyes so wide and his face so blank.  It’s like you could see the gears turning in his head, trying to process everything that just happened.  

He’s absolutely silent.  He doesn’t say a single word or make any noise when he finally has the opportunity to hold his son for the first time.  He can do nothing but stare.  It’s really a sight to see.  The two best things in your life just staring at one another with absolute wonder.

Akaashi takes his baby’s development very seriously.  He wants his son to be just as smart as the both of you some day, so he takes it upon himself to read to his son before every single nap.  

Poor Keiji has read Green Eggs and Ham more times than he would like to admit.

Oikawa Tooru

Now listen. I know we all want to give him shit, but my god is he the only one who knows what the hell is going on 

He has a sister who has been through this whole pregnancy thing at least once. He’s not helpless.  He knows how to take care of a kid.  Oikawa Tooru can rock a baby to sleep faster than you can say Seijoh.  He’s just that good.

Tooru bought you the ugliest pair of sneakers when your feet started to swell and your other sneakers started to get uncomfy, but god damn they were the best pair of shoes that you ever put on your feet.  Well, that he put on your feet.  It’s kind of difficult to put shoes on when there’s a uh . . . big ol’ bump in the way.

He frequently talks to your stomach in Spanish and has already given the little bean a nickname to match the Spanish one he gave you.  He also hums little songs while he rubs your stomach ugh lots of sweet vibes from oikawa

And it’s literally because his sister sent him P A R A G R A P H S just to tell him how to take care of you while you were pregnant.  All of these little things that he never would have thought of like getting one of those grabber things so you didn’t have to bend over so much or keeping snacks and anything you could possibly be craving on a low shelf so you didn’t hurt yourself climbing for the bag of pretzels.

While Tooru loves you and would do anything for you, he absolutely refuses to rub your feet.  Do not even bother asking.  He will turn up his nose and look at you like you’ve lost your mind.

He’s always telling his teammates about you and how big you’ve gotten, what size his little baby is, what names he was thinking about.  Ah it’s so cute.  He invites some of them over to help him put together the nursery, asking them if they prefer the elephants or the bears?  Should they choose yellow or maybe a nice grey?

When it came to the actual delivery of the baby, he was so calm???  Like?? Unnervingly calm?  He just held your hand, running his other hand over your head, pushing your hair back, reminding you to breathe just like he had practiced with you, telling you that you’re doing so well, that it will all be over and worth it soon.

And it really was.  Seeing his face light up with the most adoring smile that you had ever seen as he took his little one into his arms was one of the most beautiful sights you had ever seen.  He was absolutely in love and all it took was one little look and he was already cooing and making silly faces.

But those goofy faces and cute voices were just to mask the tears that had welled in his eyes at finally being able to hold the most beautiful thing on the planet.  He never thought he’d get to be a dad, settling down was something that had always seemed so distant and strange to him until he met you.  And yet, here he was.  A full-fledged dad, on the verge of sobbing as he held onto his first-born as if his entire universe would crumble if he looked away for even a second.

Please don’t even get me started on when his kiddo wrapped their hand around his finger.  SOBBED.  He’s gone.  Absolutely bawling his eyes out.

Ugh i could go on forever about dad!oikawa he’d just be so 10/10

{taglist: @moncymonce​ @nicka-nell​ @lovinnoya​ @celosiiaa​ @ush7jima​ @deephasoceanmagic​}

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #458

“i was unprepared for fame, then everybody knew my name”

What does your doormat say? I... actually am not sure. I don't pay any attention. What do you order from most sit down restaurants? Chicken tenders are my go-to safe option, ha ha. Or shrimp. Who was the last person you talked about love/relationships with? Sara. I wanted her advice. Where was the last place you thought about having sex, other than your bed? This was way too long ago, dude. Do you remember the last time you went against someone’s advice? Very recently. :x What day would you consider the best day of your life? Why? Idk, really. Would you say you’re too experienced or too unexperienced for your age? I am embarrassingly unexperienced. What is your favorite neon color? Ever buy nail polish that color? Hot pink. I don't care for nail polish. Has anyone ever mistaken you to be a member of the opposite sex? No. What is the greatest source of happiness in your life? Uhhhh... What was the last charity/cause you donated to? Children With Hair Loss, when I cut a shitload of my hair off for the style I have now. Getting that certificate that my hair was used is to this day one of the warmest feelings I've ever experienced. Who was the last person you got a handwritten letter from? Sara. What is something you know very little about? Economics. Have any of your worst fears ever come true? Yes. I lost Jason. Is anyone in your family divorced? My parents, three of my siblings (all have since gotten remarried and are very happy<3), and I'm sure more distant relatives, too. Does your family go ‘all out’ during the holidays? No. How often in a year do you go to the mall to get new clothes? Pretty much never. Who was the last person to call you beautiful? What was your reaction? Someone on Facebook when I updated my profile pic, probably. I was very flattered, of course. As someone with a SHIT self-image, it means a lot to me. Do you ever get paranoid about who your significant other hangs out with? I'm single, but hypothetically, nope. Did you ever call any teachers by their first name? Who? Some, but only because they preferred it. I don't remember all of them, other than it was common in college. Do you blow-dry, towel-dry or air-dry your hair? Towel-dry and best I can first, then let it air-dry. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? ... One of the reasons I chose to go to actual school instead of homeschooling when I started HS was because I liked the thought of making actual friends and maybe being a guitarist if any wanted to start bands lmao. What is your favorite flavor of gum? Watermelon, probs. Are you a good leader? lol no Would you ever go bear hunting? I'm strictly opposed to hunting for sport, but even if I wasn't, I would NOT be going after bears. Have you ever picked flowers out of someone else’s garden without asking? Wow, no. Have you ever won money by entering a contest/raffle? No. Who is your favorite philosopher? I don't have one. What restaurant would you choose to go to for breakfast? I'm a v basic bitch and love me some Waffle House lmfao. How much money do you think you cost your parents? I. Don't. Want. To. Know. With so much medical stuff... holy shit. Do you eat any meat other than turkey on Thanksgiving? I eat spiral ham, because I don't like turkey in that form. Does your cat give you kitty kisses? Yes. :') Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Close, no. My mom was a close call, though... Her cancer was very, very close to being stage 4. Have you ever been to a waterpark? Yeah, as a kiddo. Describe the person you like/love in one word: Hilarious. Do you enjoy creative writing? Hell yeah man. If so, what things do you like writing about the most? Meerkats in a fantasy setting. Do you own any windchimes? Yes. Mom has one, I believe. Have you ever been known for something extremely negative? No. Would you say you’ve made a lot of people proud? Hell no. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone for over a year? Twice. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? I think I've made that abundantly obvious in the past few surveys lmao. Does your birth name mean anything in another language or sense? It just means "of Britain." I wish my name had better meaning, lol. What is your favorite desert? THE KALAHARI because MEERKATS!!!!!!!!!!! :') Have you ever been called a good kisser? Well not directly, but no one's ever complained? Have you ever stepped on a bee? No. Who is your newest friend? Hmmm... I haven't made a new friend in a very long time. Tell me something about yourself that you don’t normally tell people. I'm an RPer. The last song you heard, what does it make you think of? That I wish I was NEARLY as hot as her lmao. What do you like about your birthday? We go out to eat wherever I want, yum. The person you’re thinking about - what are you thinking about them? That he needs to mESSAGE ME BACK Are you currently sick at all? No. Has anyone ever asked for your autograph? Er, no. What’s one subject that makes you feel uncomfortable? Sex. Who did you last send a friend request to? Idk. What candy makes your face pucker? None that I've tried. I handle sour treats very well. Do you believe that the number 13 is unlucky? No. Do you know any marines? Jason's dad was one. What’s your favorite Halloween movie? Hocus Pocus. :') Do you know anyone who does a lot of pills? I guess me, but they're prescription pills, and I don't abuse them. Mom has a lot, too. Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this rapper? Eminem. Either "Love the Way You Lie" or "Space Bound." Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? No. Have you ever had the cops called on you? For what? Nope. What race do you see the most in your neighborhood? African American. Have you ever walked in on someone accidentally while they were nude? No, I don't think so. Have you ever wanted to get your monroe pierced? Nah, it'd look weird on me. Do you own anything that involves Betty Boop? Nope. Can you remember the last song you listened to? Yeah; I'm listening to Lauren Babic and Halocene's cover of Linkin Park's "Bleed It Out" right now. What is your favourite flavour of Skittles? The sour ones!! Red was always my favorite. Who taught you how to ride a bike? My dad. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Girt. Jason is a very close second, but Girt... he saw me at rock fucking bottom. He just showed up at the hospital unannounced after my suicide attempt (he knew because yay for writing a stupid fucking suicide note on Facebook) to help comfort me. He saw me dead to the fucking world and just done with everything. When’s the last time you were on the phone after 2 AM? Wow... probably not since a few days before the aforementioned suicide attempt and I called Jason's landline, desperate to talk to him. His mom picked up and talked to me for like two whole fucking hours. I'm tearing up pretty bad just remembering it, seeing as she's dead now... She cared for me so much. I miss her so, so much. Enough of this question, I'm about to start sobbing. :x What would you do if your best friend got an abortion? Honestly? Be relieved. I really don't think her body could handle pregnancy. What would you do if your father left your mother? That happened, and I hated him for years. What would you do if your bf/gf’s face became mutilated in an accident? Love them all the same. I don't care about appearances. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen in your life? *shrug* Have you ever dated two different people with the same name? No. That would be so weird. What are you deathly afraid of? Pregnancy. Internal parasites. Which unborn babies technically are. Do you know anyone who’s addicted to drugs and, if so, are you friends with them? I know many potheads, and one I'm pretty close with. Have you ever owned a golf cart before and, if so, what color was it? No. Do you have a sibling who’s a complete deadbeat and, if so, which sibling is it? Definitely not. All my siblings are hard workers that have dreams and aspirations they're either working towards or have achieved. Do you own the new Guitar Hero and, if so, what’s your favorite song on it? I have no clue what the newest one is. My favorite song to play in any of the games though is The Eagles' "Hotel California." It just feels good to play, and the ending solo fuckin' slams. Have you ever done anything dangerous enough to have risked your life? An overdose on cold medicine. What was the most length you’ve ever cut off your hair and why did you cut it? 8+ inches because I no longer wanted long hair. Have you ever overcome a disease that was life-threatening and, if so, which one? No.

[okaybutlikeimagine]

okay but imagine this: billy has been living with hopper for a while now but hasnt come out to him yet, one day steve drives billy home and kisses him goodbye on the porch, suddenly hop opens the door and yells "what the fuck do you think youre doing?!", billy is terrified bc hes sure hes about to lose his new family but it turns out that jim was actually talking to steve and starts giving him a shovel talk

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I had to look up what a shovel talk was and i feel so dumb but) I 100% feel this in my soul and i’m cackling at it. (also these are basically the same so i’m gonna lump them together if that’s alright! ~♥)

Okay i think we can all agree there’s often a double standard w/ daughters dating vs sons dating but i also think that Hop is just Protective Dad ™. Like, Hop is antisocial, yes, but he has kids again and these kids have been broken and beat down in the past and he has made it his absolute Life. Goal. to protect them from literally anything. Like…. I totally think Hop used to be the kind of dad to say shit like: “Roll them around in the mud as a baby, it’ll help their immune system.” 

But now after Sara (and every shitty thing that has been happening in this town) he’s like: “You have a stomach ache? We’re taking you to the hospital.”

and yeah maybe some people would call it paranoia but to Hop it’s just good parenting, alright???

So anyway, Hop fucking hates when Mike is over w/ El, we all know this, the man was having a borderline breakdown the entire last season over it, but holy shit when Steve comes home with Billy?? OOF.

It’s on a calm and quiet night when Hop and El are in the house eating dinner, not having waited bc Billy told them not to bc he was “gonna be late tonight.” and that confused Hop bc he knows Billy doesn’t have a lot of friends that he doesn’t think are absolute assholes so who is he hanging out with, exactly??

But we all know it’s Steve. Bc Steve and Billy have been hanging out for a while now (they fought monsters together tHEY FOUGHT MONSTERS TOGETHER if i say it enough maybe it’ll become canon) and Hop knows they know each other but Billy never really says where he is when he hangs out w/ him bc Billy is 110% afraid that he’s about to lose this Very Good Thing he has going. Just bc he’s gay. Because Hop doesn’t know and while Hop has given him absolutely NO reason to be scared, that scares Billy the absolute most bc he’s just waiting for it now. Like waiting for the straw that’s gonna break the camel’s back and get him kicked out. It just feels inevitable to him bc all he’s ever known about home is to be afraid of it. To always be on edge and hyper aware.

So Billy was more than a little nervous about taking Steve’s car instead of his own when they went out but Steve insisted this time. And honestly, the evening was so soft and intimate and it was a little overwhelming for Billy bc they hang out a lot, yeah, they’ve messed around w/ each other a bit, sure, they’ve kissed a few times, totally. But all of it was pretty drunken/high and in the heat of the moment and tonight was absolutely none of those things. Tonight was near pure and Billy feels kinda funny. Kinda blushing and bashful and he really tries to ham up that machismo everyone thinks he was born with so he can get rid of these pesky emotions except it’s fading away real quick bc Steve is legitimately walking him to his fucking door. And you know Billy’s heart is racing for a number of reasons (a couple of them being inside the cabin) and once he reaches the porch he turns around quickly and leans his shoulder on the banister next to him, looking down at Steve who’s eyes widen a bit at the sudden change of plans here. Billy gives him a cocky grin, doing his best to hide his nerves.

“I think I can make it from here, Harrington.”

“You sure?” Steve asks, shoving his hands in his pockets and giving a confident and amused smirk. “Ya never know, out here. Y’know, I heard a rumor that there are some… monsters running around or something.”

Billy chuckles low, shaking his head.

“You’re a dork, Harrington.”

“You’re beautiful, Billy.”

And shit, if that doesn’t catch Billy off guard. He blinks a little harder for a second, looking down at Steve with knitted eyebrows but the boy is looking up at him from the lower step like Billy put the fucking stars in the sky just for him. And that last lick of sunlight is making everything glow golden and Billy just kind of stutters bc whatthefuck, and Steve takes that last step onto the porch, all of the confidence in the world basically living in his eyes as he places his hand on the side of Billy’s face and whispers what Billy thinks might be goodnight? But it’s lost against his lips and-

And little do these sweet boys know that there is 1 (one) Chief Jim Hopper standing in the window, peeking out through the curtain (bc he heard the footsteps on the porch and immediately went to see who it was) going absolutely red with anger.

In a second he’s in the doorway, the door slamming against the wall and Hop’s voice booming out: “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”

And holy fucking hell if they both don’t nearly jump out of their skin bc goddamnit they just got caught!! By the Chief of Police!!! Biggest, most intimidating man of Hawkins!!!!! Billy’s fucking dad!!!!!! Billy can’t imagine a worse scenario and honestly he’s doing the mental math on where he can go after he gets kicked out again bc he doesn’t know anyone else in this town and yeah, Steve’s parents aren’t home a lot, but what about when they are??? is he gonna be able to charm them enough to let him stay???

Billy is shaking like a leaf and Steve is looking at Billy so worriedly, super un-fucking-sure of what to do bc he knows Billy admires Hop so damn much and if he loses Hop he doesn’t know what Billy will do. So he’s watching Billy’s sweet, scared face as heavy footsteps get closer to him and-

“Oh shit!”

Steve is the one who’s collar is getting grabbed and whose weight is suddenly a lot lighter now bc he’s being lifted. There’s a harsh snap followed by a big finger being pointed in his face and a threatening grumble of:

“What are you doing touching my son?”

And Steve is about to flip his shit because holy hell he’s about to get snapped in half by Jim Hopper. And he’s not even questioning it at this point, honestly. He feels pretty damn sure he’s about to get snapped in half. Bc Hop doesn’t hate Steve. He really doesn’t. He actually even kind of likes Steve more recently bc El likes him a lot. He babysits the kids or something and he stopped being annoying. But Hop does hate Steve’s family. He thinks his parents are rich douchebags who look down on everyone for no goddamn reason. He knows they leave their son home alone all the time. He also knows Steve vandalized the local theater a couple years ago and was an overall cocky menace for a good majority of his life.

Jim doesn’t hate him, but he definitely doesn’t think he’s good enough for his son.

“Uhm, I-! I was-! I wasn’t-!” Steve is stuttering, a little confused as to how this turned so quickly. “I didn’t do anything!”

“Right, and you putting your greasy paws all over him was ‘doing nothing’, huh?” Jim growls, grip getting tighter.

“Uh-!” Steve doesn’t know what to do and hell neither does Billy. He’s going through multiple waves of emotions over here, from the relief of not being kicked out, to confusion over if it’s okay that he’s gay?, to a kind of very real terror bc wait a second he’s about to murder Steve

“Dad! Stop it! What are you doing?”

“Billy help-!”

“Dad, seriously! Put him down, holy shit!”

Hop loosens his grip only because Billy is calling him dad, but he’s still got a hand on Steve’s collar. He whips his head around and looks at Billy.

“Do you like this punk or what?”

“What?” Billy chokes.

“I said, do you like this punk or what?”

And honestly, this is kind of too much for Billy. Like, he briefly considers letting Steve just get snapped in half or something rather than admit to whatever feelings are blooming inside of him for the boy. But Steve is looking at him with those (albeit very scared) doe eyes and he’s melting and everything is bubbling up and it really, truly feels like he’s about to hurl or something.

“Yeah. Yes! Yes, I like him, just let go of him!”

“Right.” Hop nods. “Alright then.” He turns back to Steve. “You.”

“Y-y-yeah?”

“If you hurt my boy in any way, shape, or form, you’re going to answer to me. And I mean it. You hurt him and i break every single one of your fingers. Got it?”

And Steve kinda just wants to be let go now thanks and honestly couldn’t think about ever hurting Billy but he also can’t think of anything at all while his heart is beating so fast so he just nods and runs to his car once he’s let go.

Billy is just in absolute awe at the scenario, confused as he watches Steve speed away, feeling just about every emotion possible all at once… before he smacks Hopper’s shoulder.

“What the hell was that? You almost killed him.”

Hop sniffs. “I still get a weird feeling about that kid.”

“You barely mention him.”

“I’ve never liked him before.”

“You were just telling El yesterday that you think he’s a good kid.”

“Yeah, that was before I found out you’re dating him.”

“Oh my g- we’re not dating!”

“Did you eat?”

Billy pauses. “Well uh…”

“He didn’t even feed you?”

“We got distracted.” Billy crosses his arms.

“See,” Hop grumbles. “If he was a gentleman, he would have made sure you ate.”

“God, shut up!” Billy pushes at Hop’s chest lightly before walking into the cabin to make himself up something real quick, hoping with all his might that his brute of a father didn’t scare away this boy that he maybe possibly really likes.

[all-things-skam]

Jens’ season | Chapter two

Sunday, January 12th

Going to lunch with Robbe and Sander was Jens' worst idea to date. The two were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship and constantly making heart eyes at each other across the table, completely ignoring Jens.

When Jens made it to the café, Robbe was wearing what appeared to be one of Sander's tee shirts - it was way too big to belong to Robbe - and the older boy was all over Robbe, clinging onto and kissing him, making it even clearer to Jens that he was third-wheeling the couple's lunch date.

Sometimes, Jens missed being in a relationship.

Single life was good too, though. No need to explain yourself and share your whereabouts all the time, or return calls and messages under five minutes. Freedom felt too good for Jens to give up celibacy.

The waiter brought over their orders, awkwardly clearing his throat as he slid Robbe’s plate in front of him. By the look on Robbe’s face, it was clear that he was uncomfortable. Sander didn’t seem to care, still whispering into Robbe’s ear and kissing his cheek.

If Jens hadn’t been so used to their behavior, he would’ve felt uncomfortable too.

‘’Did you finish editing the vlog?’’ Robbe asked, breaking the silence.

‘’Is it the one where Moyo cracks his pants?’’ Sander demanded, a sly grin creeping across his lips.

Jens nodded. ‘’Yeah, that’s the one.’’ He paused, taking a bite of his grilled sandwich, chasing it down with a fry.. ‘’Sander, did Robbe tell you about the hot pepper he ate? Poor guy was crying.’’ Jens made a dramatic frown, pretending to feel sorry for his best friend. Robbe chucked a piece of bread at him.

‘’Shut up.’’ Robbe narrowed his eyes. ‘’I wasn’t crying…’’

Okay, he wasn’t ‘tears streaming down his face crying’, but there were real tears pooling in Robbe’s eyes from how spicy the pepper was and Jens had the proof on tape. He couldn’t argue with that.

‘’Aw,’’ Sander cooed teasingly. ‘’Couldn’t handle the spice, uh?’’

''I'd like to see you try and taste it! It was fucking hot, okay?''

The blond scoffed. ''Robbe, your tolerance is less than impressive. You can't handle hot Cheetos. They’re not even that spicy!''

‘’They make my lips feel tingly. I hate it.’’

Sander leaned closer to his boyfriend, lowering his voice. ‘’I can name something else that makes your lips feel all tingly…’’ He had this smug look on his face as Robbe pinched his thigh, a silent warning.

The bell resonated across the café as a new customer walked in, causing Jens to lift his eyes from his plate, needing a distraction from the intimate exchange happening in front of him. He didn’t mind them acting like that, there are just some things Jens would rather not hear or know about his best friend.

The customer’s back was facing Jens, but he recognized the curly fringe and denim jacket.

Hands stuffed inside his pockets, Lucas, glanced at the menu over the counter, uncertain. He looked around, searching for nothing in particular and smiled, face lighting up when seeing a familiar face inside the café.

Jens raised his hand and waved him over, offering a helping hand to the new kid. Or, that’s what he told himself.

Lucas walked over to Jens’s table, smiling bright. ‘’Hi.’’

‘’Wanna join us?’’

‘’I don’t want to intrude…’’ Lucas glanced at Robbe and Sander.

Jens shook his head. ‘’You’re not,’’ he assured him. ’’I already feel like a third wheel. If you join us, I won’t have to talk to myself for the rest of lunch.’’

‘’Okay.’’ Lucas sat down next to Jens, his presence going unacknowledged by the couple in front of them. He brushed his knee against Jens’, causing a warmth in his stomach that seemed to spread throughout his body. ‘’Lucas,’’ he introduced himself, shaking Robbe and Sander’s hands. ‘’So, what’s good here? Last time, I ordered a ham and cheese sandwich and it was less than tasty.’’ Lucas grimaced at the memories. ‘’I’ll take some of your recommendations, if you don’t mind.’’

‘’It depends what you’re in the mood for,’’ Sander said, detaching himself from Robbe a bit, playing connaisseur. ‘’Personally, I wouldn’t recommend the croques. Not crunchy enough and burnt on one side most of the time. They serve them good-side-up thinking you won’t notice.’’

‘’So, no croques, I take it?’’

Sander grinned. ‘’No croques. Coffee’s good though.’’

‘’Noted.’’ He stole a fry from Jens’s plate.

‘’Those are mine!’’

Lucas shrugged, happily eating his fry. ‘’I take it you don’t share your food. You have plenty. Selfish much, uh?’’ He cocked an eyebrow, giving Jens a judgemental look.

The latter rolled his eyes. ‘’So? Are the fries good?’’

‘’They’re alright, I guess. But, I’m gonna order cake. I’m more of a sweet tooth.’’

.

Monday, January 113th

Noises were coming from the kitchen when Jens came home from school. He frowned and removed his shoes and jacket, leaving the latter with his backpack in the entrance. He'd take them upstairs later.

His dad's shoes weren't on the small carpet which meant he wasn't home - again.

Jens headed down the hallway, seeing his mom, still in her work uniform, pulling out a box of pasta from the pantry and frantically moving around the kitchen.

''Mom?''

At her son's voice, the brunette woman snapped her head around, flashing him a quick smile. ''You're home early.''

''Yeah, Mr. Montez let us out before the bell so I got to catch an earlier bus,'' the teenager explained. ''Need a hand?''

''That would be very helpful.''

Jens moved to the stove, pulling out a pot and filled it with water. He didn't know what his mom was cooking, but judging by the pastas on the counter top, she was going to need to boil them.

Jens hoped for his dad's sake that his job interview wasn't a lie. His mom was exhausted from taking extra shifts all the time. Someone else needed to bring money home.

Christmas had been less festive than usual. The smaller amount of money in the Stoffels' pockets was reflected in Christmas dinner and handful of presents under the tree. Jens had to renounce the new skateboard he wanted, his parents being on a tighter budget. He was sad, but his old skateboard still worked fine.

Waiting for the water to boil, Jens voiced the question that had been nagging him for the past few weeks. ''Why didn’t you say anything? About dad losing his job?''

Fenna stopped chopping the vegetables, going still for a few seconds. She let out a shaky breath and turned to her son, ready to address his concerns. ''Because we didn’t want to worry you, or Lotte. You know how prideful your dad is; he was embarrassed to tell his kids that he lost his job. He's forty-six. Losing your job at that age is difficult to take in, Jens. He tried to negotiate getting his job back, but his boss was firm with his decision.''

Jens let his head fall and his eyes close. He knew this was a difficult subject for both his parents, yet he brought it up. ‘’I’m sorry, Mom.’’

His mom shook her head. She was so grateful to have a son like Jens. So caring and empathetic. But, this wasn't his fault. Nothing concerning his father's job loss was. ‘’It’s not your fault. It happens.’’ She pulled a pan from the cupboard and set it beside the cooking pasta. ''What time is it?’’

‘’Almost four,’’ Jens responded, checking the time on his phone.

‘’Crap. I have to get going. They need a nurse to fill-in for the night and I couldn't afford to decline. That's why I was preparing dinner a bit early. Guess I didn't judge my time very well… I also have to pick up your sister from school and drop her here and-''

''Mom? Mom!'' His sharp tone cut through her increasingly panicked one. ''Put everything down. I can make dinner. Pastas are easy to make, right?''

‘’And Lotte-’’

''I’m sure Ines’ mom will take Lotte home with them if you ask. She lives two blocks from here,’’ Jens suggested, solving another problem on his mom’s checklist.

She grabbed her jacket, bag, and keys, listing the rest of the dinner’s recipe to him. Jens nodded along without really hearing her, knowing he could just wing it. Like he said, pasta are relatively simple to make.

“Got it,’’ Jens assured her, confidently. ‘’Just go, Mom. We’ll be fine, I promise.''

Fenna sighed. “Okay, okay I’m leaving. I love you Jens. Take good care of your sister while I’m gone.”

Love you too, Jens thought, hearing the front door close after she left the kitchen. He turned back to the stove and his eyes widened in surprise at the boiling water overflowing from the pot. He quickly grabbed at the burner knob, flipping it to low while trying to avoid the scalding water.

.

Tuesday, January 14th

It was the first time that Jana came over since they broke up. She hadn't sat on Jens's bed in over a year, somehow, everything still felt familiar. Nothing had changed. The sheets were the same, Jens' clothes still sitting in an overflowing pile on the desk chair by the door. Even his electric guitar was in its same spot.

Jana smiled, looking around the bedroom. ''I missed this.''

Jens furrowed his eyebrows, confused. ''Missed what? My dirty clothes?'' He scooted higher on his bed, propping himself up against his pillows, and chuckled.

''No, idiot.'' She shook her head, holding back from chucking a pillow at him. ''Coming over, being here...with you. It's been so long.''

Two years.

Jens remembered the last time she was there. He was playing Fortnite with Robbe - and Moyo online. She came over, uninvited and without warning, and told Jens some bullshit story about forgetting her phone at Luka’s. This was where their relationship started to go downhill.

‘’Would you change anything about our past, if you could?’’ Jana asked, breaking the silence. She was sitting crossed legged, facing Jens.

Her question, although relatively simple, made Jens think twice before responding.

Although it was tempting to say yes, Jens shook his head. He wouldn’t lie, there were decisions and actions he wasn’t proud of, but his past led them to where he was today. If he made even the slightest change, everything would have been different. And, not to sound cocky, but he was pretty proud of the person he’d become.

‘’If I say yes, we wouldn’t be the same people we are now. Our mistakes and decision makes who we are, who we became,’’ Jens responded, insightfully. ‘’So, no. I wouldn’t change a thing.’’

‘‘I see your point, but I’d still tempt my fate to make a couple changes.”

‘’I still feel bad for dating you behind her back and while you two were still together. I was ultimate friendship betrayal.’’ She looked down, thinking about how much pain it had caused her best friend. Poor Britt had luck with the cheater boyfriends... ‘’I should’ve kissed you before her.’’

Jens snickered a laugh, unable to believe her. ‘’How would you have done that? You were way too shy and always hiding in Britt’s shadow.’’

Jana raised her eyebrows. ‘’Oh yeah? Remind me who kissed you first at the Christmas party?’’

She uncrossed her legs and crawled over to Jens, passing one leg over his waist, straddling him, and pressed her lips to his in a gentle kiss. Jens’s tongue slipped between her parted lips, his hands finding the back of Jana’s sweater while Jana’s slid under his, kneading at his toned stomach.

The door opened, interrupting the teenagers.

‘’Jens, can you help me with-’’ The brunette girl stopped dead in her tracks, frowning when seeing a familiar face on her brother’s bed...on top of Jens. ‘’Jana?’’ There was uncertainty in her voice mixed with excitement.

The latter quickly removed herself from Jens’ lap, slightly embarrassed, and sat next to him instead. This was awkward… ''Hi, Lotte.’’ Jana grinned at the little girl. ‘’Haven’t seen you in so long. You’ve gotten so big.’’

Although things were going well between them, there was still factors that made Jens not want to get back together with his ex. And, as much as Lotte liked Jana, he didn't want to let her in too much. She was sad when Jens announced that Jana and him were over; it was best if she wasn’t too involved. He also didn't see himself explaining their relationship status to his eight years old sister.

Sitting up, Jens broke the interaction. ''Lotte, please leave us alone, will you? Go play with your dolls or something.'' He fixed his shirt so it wasn’t exposing his stomach anymore.

Unlike Jana, Jens didn’t only have his parents to worry about when making out with someone in his bedroom. He also had a little sister that didn’t understand the importance of knocking before walking into a room - nor the concept of privacy.

Lotte frowned. ‘’But, you said you’d help me with my multiplication…’’

‘’I’ll help you later. When Jana goes home, okay?’’

.

Wednesday, January 15th

It was almost 10pm when Jens descended to the kitchen to get a drink. He was working on a History assignment with Robbe via Facetime and it was taking them so long. History was neither of the boys’ forte.

The house was quiet since it was so late at night. The lights illuminating the staircase were dimmed, just bright enough to prevent someone from tripping on a misplaced shoe or stray sock.

Almost on the ground floor, Jens saw a light in the living room, coming from a small lamp. Jens frowned. He got closer and saw his mother's sleeping figure in the armchair. A sad smile formed on his lips. She must've fallen asleep there on accident, judging by the abandoned book laying open on her lap.

‘’Mom,’’ Jens said, gently shaking her awake on the armchair.

He felt bad for waking her, knowing that she needed rest after working all those long shifts at the hospital, but her neck would hurt later if she stayed there.

‘’Mom,’’ he tried again.

This time, her eyes fluttered open, slowly waking. She squinted her eyes in the light of the lamp. ‘’Jens?’’ She looked around, realizing that she fell asleep in the living room. ‘’How long was I out for?’’

‘’I don’t know, I just came down. I figured you’d be more comfortable in your bed.’’

Fenna smiled and nodded. ‘’Good idea. I have to be up early tomorrow.’’

‘’I thought Thursday was your off day?’’

‘’It is. But the bills are piling up and your dad....’’ She sighed, looking away.

Jens took a seat on the couch next to the armchair. ‘’I take it his job interview didn’t go well.’’

‘’I don’t know what to do anymore. Taxes are coming and I can’t take more shifts. I come home exhausted from double shifts and still, it isn't enough.’’ Fenna sighed, dropping her head in her hands in both despair and exhaustion. ‘’I knew it would be difficult to make ends meet when your dad lost his job, but I didn’t plan on neglecting you and your sister so much. We barely spend time together anymore, I miss it. I feel bad…’’

‘’We do spend time together, we cooked dinner on Monday.’’

His mom gave him a look. ‘’Chatting about our day over peeling carrots isn’t what I call spending time with my kids.’’

Jens shrugged, laughing. ‘’It still counts for me.’’

‘’I’m not sure your sister would say the same.’’

‘’You’re doing all you can, Mom.’’

.

Thursday, January 16th

The boys were playing Fortnite in Jens' bedroom, yelling at the TV at each wrong move. They had ordered pizza, the almost-empty boxes resting on the dresser with drinks surrounding them.

With his mom still at work and his dad out with Lotte at her weekly dance class, the teenager took full advantage of their absence by inviting his friends over to play video games. It’d been a while since they all met to hang out, one of them always busy with their significant other - mostly Robbe.

Moyo was really good, kicking Aaron's ass every time. It was amusing to watch him lose and rake his brain for the dumbest excuses, trying to justify his loss. Sore loser. Robbe's skills had decreased, now more keen on spending time with Sander than playing video games. He's in love, could you blame him?

'Game over' flashed across the screen, lettingAaron know he’d died. He gasped, shocked by his friend's betrayal. ''What the fuck, bro? We're on the same team!''

Jens shrugged, eyes focused on the screen. ''You were slowing me down.''

''I was covering for you and you shot me. Fucking traitor...''

''Covering for me? I almost got killed twice because of you.''

Aaron bickered back, defending himself again, but Jens wasn’t listening; this made Moyo laugh. If Robbe’s nose wouldn’t have been glued to his phone, he would’ve laughed too.

It was good to have everyone together again and not have to think of a video idea or film for the vlog channel. They love doing vlogs, but hanging out and playing Fortnite was nice too. A distraction and some fun with his friends was exactly what Jens needed right now. It was nice to take a break and not have to think about his problems for a couple of hours. Jens could always count on the boys to turn some of his worries into laughter.

Even though Jens was trying his best to distract himself, his family’s problems were still in the back of his mind. Amidst the laughter, his mom's exhausted face from constant worry and overworking herself flashed across his mind.

Jens wished he could help - more than he already did - take some worries off her shoulders, but the balance in his bank account wasn’t even in the double digits. He thought about getting a job, but it would complicate things since his shifts would be on the weekend and after school and he wouldn't be able to help with Lotte as much. His parents needed that help.

Minutes later, Jens died and it was time to switch players. He handed his controller to Moyo. Aaron’s went to Robbe, but the latter’s phone rang before they could start the game.

Robbe frowned and apologized. ‘’It’s my mom. I have to answer.’’ He stood, leaving Jens’ room to talk somewhere quiet and private.

Aaron stood too, putting his controller on the bed. ‘’I’m gonna go pee. The beer is starting to hit me. Don’t cheat while I’m gone,’’ he said, warning Jens and Moyo.

“Says the cheater himself,” Moyo retorted with a snort while standing up to get another drink - a can of coke, this time. It was a school night and Moyo doubted his mom would let it slide if he came home drunk on a Thursday. He opened the drink and sat back on the bed, sighing, still feeling full from the pizza slices he ate earlier. ''That last one was a mistake.''

Beside him, Jens let out a short laugh.

Fidgeting with his hands, he glanced out of his bedroom door, checking if they boys were out of sight. He had meant to ask Moyo something and, with Robbe on the phone and Aaron in the bathroom, it was the perfect time. It was nothing embarrassing, Jens just didn't want Robbe to overhear his question and think too much or Aaron to be all up in his business.

''Can I have your weed guy's number?''

Moyo raised his eyebrows, surprised by Jens' question. ''What for?'' He took a sip of his coke. ''I can bring you a couple grams tomorrow if you want. I don't mind.''

Jens shook his head. ''Erm, no. I want to buy some for myself. It's not fair for you to pay for everyone's weed.''

Moyo shot him a skeptical look but shared his dealer's number.

.

Friday, January 17th

Jens was getting ready for tonight’s party, trying to fix his hair - that one piece was so annoying - before meeting the boys at Robbe’s. His backpack was ready for the night, filled with beers and a bottle of cheap vodka. It tasted awful, but it did a good job at getting you drunk.

Slipping on his red hoodie, Jens grabbed his phone to check the time when a notification caught his attention.

vanderheijden.lucas is now following you

He opened the notification and smiled. Lucas. As in the new boy Lucas? The Dutch boy with the beautiful eyes and the cocky grin?

A peek at his feed told Jens that Lucas was a selfie person. His bright blue eyes stood out on some of these shots. Like, wow. There were pictures of his friends, too. One of the two had longer hair and mild-toned skin, and the other had a shorter haircut.

As Jens scrolled down Lucas’s pictures, he noticed a red ‘1’ on the paper plane icon in the right corner of his phone, signalling a new DM. Raising his eyebrows, Jens clicked on it.

vanderheijden.lucas Hi

jensrolt Hi 😊

vanderheijden.lucas I found your Instagram. Hope you don’t mind!

jensrolt I would’ve made it private if I did...and I’m always looking for more fans

jensrolt Are you coming tonight?

vanderheijden.lucas I’m assuming it’s a party you’re asking about, but I’m in Utrecht…

Jens raised his eyebrows.

A part of him was hoping to see Lucas tonight, but now he was a bit disappointed. The brunet’s flirty wink from last Friday was floating in the back of Jens' mind, just like the feeling in his stomach when their knees brushed under the table at the café. Jens didn’t know what it all meant, but he was curious to see what Lucas would do next.

jensrolt What’s in Utrecht?

Lucas was from the Netherlands, Jens knew that, but why was he going back? Was he visiting the boy he saw in the pics, the one with dark hair and mid-toned skin? They seemed pretty close - a bit too close forJens’ taste. He almost clicked on the guy’s face to see if he was tagged, but realized how stalker-ish that was.

That didn’t stop him from staring at Lucas’ beautiful blue eyes. They seemed brighter in every new pic. His scrolling was interrupted when a notification popped up at the top of his screen: a new message from vanderheijden.lucas.

vanderheijden.lucas I’m visiting my mom. It’s her weekend. The joy of having divorced parents…

Lucas’ sarcasm made Jens laugh, his lips curling into a smile.

vanderheijden.lucas I’ll be there next friday though. If there’s a party

jensrolt There’s ALWAYS a party

vanderheijden.lucas Save me a drink? 😉

Eyebrows pulled, Jens brought his phone closer to his face. A winky emoji?

Before he could analyse the message further, Jens’ phone flashed with Robbe’s name.

Shit. The pre-game. He’d totally forgotten about that.

‘’I’m on my way,’’ he told his best friend, hanging up and bolting out of his bedroom.

[oflcvers]

Can I get em headcannons for domesticated Stefan x female reader? Also can I get maybe some father Stefan? Thanks bby

DOMESTIC LIFE WITH STEFAN BUTLER INCLUDES:

is literally so excited to live with you once your relationship becomes steady enough

the fact that he doesn’t have to live with his overbearing and intrusive father anymore??? and gets to live with you instead??? lord have mercy sign my man up

you two literally have so much fun looking for flats that it’s kind of ridiculous

you make a game out of it. pretty much spot all the things you both love about the place. it gets on the real estate agent’s nerves after a while lmfao

‘y/n!! this could be perfect for a workroom for you! maybe an office?? and looK AT THAT KITCHEN!!!! takeaway who???’

once you decide on a flat you two immediately furniture shop

this proves to be less fun than looking at flats for stefan

he doesn’t have a single interior designing bone in his body and pretty much gives you full control decorating wise. as long as he gets to be with you he doesn’t care how your home looks

Y’ALL PAINT THE WALLS TOGETHER

one day when both of you are free you immediately suit up in old clothes, lay some towels out, tape up against the molds, and start painting the walls bc no one likes plain, boring colors no siree

you initiate a paint fight. you didn’t even realize you started it at first tbh. while you’re hanging off the ladder to get the higher to reach places, you didn’t realize that paint had been dripping down onto stefan and got all into his hair

in retaliation, he immediately runs a finger through his brush to launch paint speckles at you

five minutes later you’re hopping into the shower together over your childish behavior as you’re both covered in gold paint

finally being able to share a bed with you elates stefan. not even in the sexual way. he loves feeling your body heat next to him, being able to wrap his arms around you or having you spoon him throughout the night. waking up next to you and just beaming because christ he’s absolutely in love with you

cute stay at home dates where you two get drunk and just play games with each other. whether they be video games or board games, the two of you just have fun together

it’s adorable bc stefan gets really giggly drunk and acts so much goofier than when he’s sober

half of the time he’s hanging off you on the couch while button mashing, half to make you lose focus and half because he just wants to be near you

stefan rarely loses a video game, but almost always loses when you guys play monopoly or life

like he’ll get so drunkenly smug when he wins dig dug for the twelfth time, only to turn into a fucking pouting brat once he owes you $750 for St. Charles Place

‘i’m not paying, y/n. i don’t even want to stay there anyway’

‘stefan, you landed there, those are the rules’

‘start the tAB’

and he fucking makes you keep a tab open for all the money he owes you bc he refuses to file for bankruptcy

stefan never can pay you back anyway, once the calculator reads $3000+ you end the game

y’all run your errands together it’s honestly adorable. you grocery shop together, clothes shop with each other, and all those other boring, mundane tasks together

holding hands as you go down the aisles, both of you reminding the other of stuff you might need or making dinner suggestions for you two to make together that night

GOD YOU TWO MAKE DINNER TOGETHER NEARLY EVERY NIGHT

trying new recipes you have from your family or just getting them off boxes of ingredients you’ve bought

stefan is in love with your beef wellington it’s absurd tbh

all because you use prosciutto instead of ham bc man that flavOR

like he begs you to make it for him once a week and in return he makes you whatever you want the next day, filled with love and all that sappy shit

food is literally the way how you show each other love my god

Y’ALL. GET. A. DOG.

probably a jack russell or a lancashire heeler tbh and the dog’s an absolute sweetie the goodest baby we stan

having the dog is kinda a test run for the two of you. if you can raise a dog, you can most likely raise a kid

speaking of kids, stefan is literally terrified of being a dad

it makes him anxious thinking about being responsible for a child. he’s so insecure of his abilities man. and his father really isn’t someone he wants to borrow from when it comes to raising a child

truthfully he refuses to address the ‘k’ word until you bring it up first

one of his biggest fears as you date include you leaving him for someone else, you falling out of love with him, and the condom breaking while y’all fuck like the idea of accidentally becoming a dad is scary as shit to him

whether you want to conceive or adopt, you confront him about wanting to start a family. this could happen while still dating, married, or agreeing to just be together without getting married

you two have a long talk about it too, consisting of you telling stefan that there’s absolutely no way he could fuck anything up and telling him there’s no pressure. however, you do reaffirm that you do want to start a family. that’s endgame for you

but once you two have a child, lord

l o r d

stefan’s so weak for them

he will do absolutely anything for his kid. like yeah okay he’s whipped with you, but for his kid? times that by three

actual pta dad who is so involved in his child’s life and supports them in every single way possible. an absolute ‘follow your dreams and i love you’ kind of father will fight anyone that does anything to his baby. mama bear who??? more like papa bear who’s ready to throw down for his babies

tbh, you’re the one who has to discipline the kids more often than not

stefan just doesn’t have the heart to man, he’s honestly too soft towards your kids

cute playdates with pearl and your child!!!! letting your kid visit aunt kitty and uncle colin!!! yes please!!!!

you two just foster a loving environment for your kid and it’s honestly beautiful like goddamn parents of the year

but at the end of the day, stefan just wants to make sure he’s the father peter wasn’t. he wants his kids to always feel safe and comfortable around him and not want to hide from him. stefan can’t help that self-projection yo

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam France season 3, episode 8 reaction

Not gonna lie, I kept thinking “they must taste like ham” during the love-making scene

Episode 8

Clip 1 - Morning after 

Lucas wakes up, still with splotches of paint on his body. I guess he washed off some of the paint, but not that well? I have so many questions about how they got home, like did they manage to get into the locker room to take a shower before leaving the school, or did they just go home covered in paint? 

Anyway, Lucas is alone and checks his phone. His father says their mom wants to go to mass with them next week, so there’s your O Helga Natt clip. I’m trying to think about the religious references in this season. They’ve definitely been carrying through with Lucas’ mom being religious; I’m not sure there has been more in the way of religious symbolism? Luke is a Biblical figure but I’m not sure there’s any connecting with Lucas’ character the way Isak was connected to Biblical Isaac through the 21:21 reference. Not that it means O Helga Natt shouldn’t happen at a church, just that I think you could potentially set the scene somewhere else that’s more in line with what symbolism there is in this season (light and dark).

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. Was he on the couch???? In the living room??? Wh- why? So they went back to Lucas’ placed and crashed, covered in paint and seemingly naked (since Lucas is shown putting on his boxers), on the sofa in his living room? At the apartment where he has three other roommates coming and going? The FUCK.

Doesn’t Eliott live by himself? I thought someone involved with the show said that. Why did they not go to his place where they can be alone, rather than going to Lucas’ where they have to crash on the fucking couch? Even if Eliott does live with his parents or whoever, presumably he has a bedroom with, you know, a door. 

I guess after you fuck in public at your school when there are people around, cuddling naked together in your living room where your roommates might see is no big deal at all. Get over it, prudes.

This is one of those times when I think Skam France still sticks to the original script too much, like obviously this part is here because Isak woke up alone after Even spent the night and heard Even in the kitchen. Lucas’ living situation (aka living on his goddamn couch) doesn’t really accommodate for that without some weirdness. So they could have revised this scene a bit - either send them to Eliott’s place rather than Lucas’, or have Lucas actually get his bedroom back by now (why is he still on the couch anyway????) or just have them clothed. Or you could have something where Eliott didn’t sleep over, and Lucas wakes up on the couch smiling about the previous day, except then he hears Eliott’s voice in the kitchen. Surprise! Eliott came over early to surprise Lucas with breakfast, and Manon let him in. And it could be shown as a sign of his mania, maybe, like it’s cute but Eliott came over way too early with way too many ingredients and it’s just a little too intense, it feels off.

Anyway, Lucas hears giggling from the kitchen, and of course Eliott is cooking and talking to the roommates. He’s making a fennel and cinnamon omelette. He kisses Lucas and Mika and Manon exchange a proud look. No more interventions are necessary.

Eliott also wants to make blueberry bacon muffins and Manon is all WTF about it, because she is lucky enough to live in a country where people apparently weren’t putting bacon in every single food product for a few years. 

Mika and Manon pretend they didn’t hear anything from Eliott and Lucas when they came in, but Lisa enters and is like, yes, I did hear you fucking. So they were for real fucking on the couch? I’m just imagining like, Manon wanting a glass of water last night but being unable to leave her bedroom, just waiting for the moans to stop.

Lisa tells Manon to give her room to Lucas since he has a sex life and Manon doesn’t. Cold, but accurate, and also, Manon should give her room back since it’s not hers in the first place and Lucas was clearly distraught over it in the last episode. C’mon. At least take turns.

When the roommates are gone, Lucas says he thought Eliott left this morning (or like … one minute ago), like he did with Lucille. We get this conversation with a big gap between them as Lucas talks about Eliott making out with Lucille at Chloé’s party. Eliott closes the gap and takes Lucas’ face in his hands when he says that Lucille knows him well and made him believe they had to get back together, and Lucas wasn’t ready. Eliott was afraid Lucas wouldn’t want anything serious, Lucas says he does, and Eliott says good, because he’s not going anywhere right now. They kiss.

Eliott comes across as rather self-assured here. Even seemed very vulnerable when Isak called him on the situation with Sonja, and his attitude got very weird and harsh. He wasn’t even looking Isak in the eye as he complained about her; he only looked back when he was asking Isak to understand what he meant. Part of the scene felt very, very fragile for both of them. By contrast, while Lucas here seems uncertain, Eliott seems pretty confident. Although he’s telling Lucas about something that made him uncertain at the time, in the moment he seems to have gotten over it. Either that or he’s completely burying his fears, because I don’t see a hint of doubt or defensiveness.

Also, in the original scene, there were hints that Even was manic. I guessed it from my first viewing, watching the scene in unsubtitled Norwegian, just based off Even’s energy and emotional shifts, and then with the subs we could see how he got distracted, his mind was racing a bit. I didn’t really feel like they were signaling Eliott was manic yet, other than the lines about him going to the fridge and wanting to bake everything. Eliott just seems comfortable in what’s happening. (I’m not blaming Maxence for this, I think his acting is pretty solid, honestly.)

They obviously did not do their version of the Gabrielle lip-syncing, and while I don’t mind if they choose not to, for time constraints or not wanting to copy OG or just not feeling it for the characters, I can’t help but feel a bit bereft that I did not see more of Eliott’s awkward EDM dancing.

Clip 2 - Ass = art

I am honest to God laughing that they hyped up that previous mural as the ugliest shit ever, and then Lucas and Eliott literally threw some paint over it and it’s suddenly acceptable. Oh my God. Different strokes for different folks and all, but you can still see the original goddamn mural!!! It’s not even totally covered up!!!

Plot twist: whoever originally painted that mural in like the ‘90s or whatever also did it while having sex against the wall. And the plucky artists who will paint over Lucas and Eliott’s mural in like 2034 will be doing it as part of an orgy. Why even bother having a mattress when you have a paint-splattered wall to hump against?

I think it’d be a pretty display if it it were not half-assed. It’s not even covering all of the existing mural. They should’ve whole-assed it. Much like they whole-assed everything else on Friday.

Lucas is like, sorry we didn’t go with what was planned. Was there a plan? Because it absolutely came across like the boys just showed up to paint whatever image popped into their heads.

OH MY GOD THERE WAS AN ACTUAL ASS PRINT ON THE WALL

AND THEY DON’T EVEN MAKE UP A LIE ABOUT IT

Eliott’s like, Sorry about that! And he and Lucas kiss. Oh my God, this is ridiculous. I’m happy for your love and all but I legit cringed at that part, it’s too much. I guess if I think about it like how Even said it was good the boys left when Even showed up at Isak’s house, it’s the same thing? Except that’s a lot vaguer than like, yep, we left ass prints on the wall, our butt cheeks were used as sponges. I suppose it’s odd that everyone’s just like ... completely un-weirded out by this admission. (🐭🐭🐭)

Daphne is happy because the common room was decorated by a gay couple, so that made it cool, and objectively that’s not a great thing to say but I confess it make me laugh, because what a Daphne thought. Imane is like, why do we let it slide when Daphne says stuff like that? Good question. I guess because Daphne’s enthusiasm is pretty charming if you just tune out her words themselves.

Eliott is like, we gave it body and soul … you sure did give it your body, as Daphne observes.

Imane says she’s happy for Eliott and Daphne asks if Imane and Eliott know each other. They smile at each other. Precious. So we’re getting that storyline in S4, let’s hope they do a decent job with it. It could be improved.

Lucas gets a text from his dad about going to mass. Dad guilts him, telling him to think of his mother. Lucas texts back that he’ll go to mass with his boyfriend. We don’t get an answer immediately from the dad, like with Isak; Lucas just tells him and looks over to his boyfriend smiling and laughing with the girls, like he doesn’t care what his dad says in that moment, he’s just going to enjoy being happy with Eliott. He gives Eliott a back hug, it’s very sweet.

Clip 3 - Boy squad = cheerleaders

Basile is talking about sending a song to a girl, presumably Daphne, because this is hell. She didn’t reply. Dude. Take the fucking hint. 

I know I keep complaining about this a million times per post, but I keep being annoyed at Skam France for adding yet another no-means-yes romance where a girl’s stated disinterest is continually ignored by a guy. We already had Noorhelm/Marles. And Vilde/Magnus, whatever you think of them, didn’t have this crap tainting their courtship. 

The boys run into Eliott who looks happy. Lucas proudly introduces Eliott as his boyfriend, without any insecurity, and the boys erupt in cheers like this is one of those videos where everyone’s watching as a kid is opening his email and learning he got accepted to Harvard (🐭🐭🐭). I mean, it is cute that the boys react so positively! I don’t want to discourage straight boys cheering on their gay friend getting a boyfriend. Go wild, throw some confetti, bake a cake.

Basile says Lucas made the boys bolt on Friday and is upset he didn’t get to paint. I feel like Basile’s “misunderstood genius” left uninterrupted would definitely have resulted in several big-tittied anime girls on that wall. The boys invite Eliott to the park on Wednesday. Eliott agrees to go even though Lucas points out he has class then. I guess maybe that’s a sign of Eliott being manic? Maybe? Like he doesn’t care about school and is being reckless? 

Basile makes an incest joke. Not his first in the season.

The boys really do seem cute running away, I love Arthur’s moves! But again, I am never letting that “it’s not Disneyland” comment go, because everything is so shiny-happy. It’s not just positive in a realistic way, it’s that song that from The Lego Movie. With Isak, he was still shy after he came out to his friends because you know, he was a human being and turning off internalized homophobia wasn’t like flicking a light switch. He got more comfortable over time. And the boys were very excited to meet Even but in a chill, non-OTT way (even Magnus).  

With content like this, I do think it is valuable to show exceedingly positive social support for a gay teenager coming out and getting a boyfriend, like I do feel a little bad having any nitpicks about this. Likewise, I hate to have any reservations about Lucas getting so totally open and affectionate with Eliott so fast, because this is the end goal, obviously, we want to see Lucas happy and thriving and out and proud. You could make the argument that now he knows his friends accept him, he can let go of his insecurities in full (I don’t know how I feel about that because I don’t think Lucas’ problem was solely about whether his friends would accept him, for instance the Pride scene was more about internalized homophobia). And I do think they wanted to make Lucas as happy as possible this week before bringing him down at the end of the episode, for the impact. But combined with stuff like treating his outing as no big deal, and cleaning house last week and putting the Chloé and Imane clips in that episode so we got those conflicts and plot threads out of the way, and then how Lucas is so 100% okay with announcing Eliott as his boyfriend and joking about their sex life and kissing him and embracing him in public, all of this right off the bat ... to me it almost feels like they wanted to skip over the inner conflict, any hesitation or lingering insecurities, and just get straight to the cuddly ship content. And I mean, I approve of cuddly ship content! It just seems a little pat? You can make something idealistic and realistic. I guess Skam resolved some conflicts easily, too, but I felt like Isak’s character development was gradual and earned, whereas Lucas’ lacks some nuance here. 

Lucas gets a phone call and it’s from Lucille. I find it kinda weird we didn’t even hear her voice because that would be Lucas’ POV in this important moment. Eliott talks to Lucille and it doesn’t really seem like… alarming like it did with Even, that rapid change in mood. He just sounds annoyed that she’s calling Lucas and he told her not to. 

Lucas asks why Lucille called, Eliott is like IDK, to bullshit you. Which honestly, seems like a reasonable enough response? I don’t get why Lucas looks at Eliott like Eliott is the one bullshitting him. It’s not nice but Eliott’s ex calling Lucas just to harass him or tell him to stay away is not a thing that’s all that unusual, it happens. Even was a lot harsher in attitude and weirder in what he said (”she doesn’t like people who live free and genuine”). Anyway, then Eliott says Lucille can’t control him (Eliott) anymore and is trying to go through Lucas. Eliott kisses Lucas, plays with his hair (which seems to be their Thing, which is adorable), kisses him again, leaves, comes back for another kiss. He pulls an Even and walks off backwards. Lucas blows him a kiss after he’s gone. Well, that’s the cutest thing I’ve seen from Lucas so far, and very endearing.

Clip 4 - Het drama? In my S3? It’s more likely than you think

Everyone, both boy and girl squads are having a picnic. There’s a cool effect where someone wipes away the time card as they walk through the frame, I don’t remember seeing anything like that before on Skam France or any other remake. Stuff like that is just a fun way to play with the format.

Is that the same lake as the one in the first clip of the season? Would be nice to call back, since Lucas was feeling detached back then, and now he’s surrounded by friends and literally lying in his man’s arms. Speaking of, Lucas and Eliott are a little ways off from everyone else, and like I said, Lucas is being cozy in Eliott’s arms. They talk about doing something this weekend; Eliott mentions that Lisa blacklisted him from the flatshare and I DO NOT BLAME HER after what happened on that couch. Although I guess you could say the other flatmates deserve it after relegating Lucas to the sofa. 

Eliott mentions his parents will be there that weekend. Wait, so I thought he lived alone? Didn’t someone involved with the show say that? Guess I was wrong. Or are his parents just coming to visit? Anyway, obviously this is setup for them getting a hotel room or whatever their version is. 

Okay: absolutely fucking ridiculous that this 4-minute clip features less than a minute actually focused on Lucas’ POV, in Lucas’ season. At the end of the season? Sure, absolutely, we’re wrapping up the season’s storylines and giving everyone some closure and/or setup for the next season. Switching POVs is perfectly fine then. But in the middle of the season??? What’s more - in the middle of episode 8??????? The end of episode 8 is a hugely important turn of the story. It twists everything we know about the Even character on its head, it’s an intense scene, even frightening. It should have us looking back, noticing the signs we didn’t know were there on first viewing. This is one of the worst times they could cut for an interlude about everyone else - let alone for crappy het romance drama.

They could’ve used these three minutes to hint at Eliott’s mania! Or put in some content about Lucas’ parents, especially with Lucas’ mom since he’s going to come out to her soon! You can even keep the picnic with everyone else, just have Eliott doing or saying something that in retrospect is a big-ass pile of foreshadowing. Considering this week has been very light on those hints so far, this would have been a perfect opportunity. At the very least, if you need that mandatory girl squad content, we could have seen all this het romance through Lucas’ eyes, like he’s not even in the scene with these people, really? It’s not like he’s watching or listening to them, he and Eliott are in their own little bubble. So just stay in the bubble with them, or let others into their bubble, or don’t have them in the bubble - they can be cuddling closer to everyone else and interacting with them. 

Keep in mind that there was no French “5 fine frøkner” either, lmao. They cut that out and we got this scene instead. And like I said, I’m totally fine with the kitchen sing-along not being there, but if what we get instead is shit that has nothing to do with Lucas and isn’t even from his POV, to focus on a bunch of (terrible) m/f pairings ... then I’m going to get exasperated.

Basile worms in between Emma and Daphne, like legit shoves Emma to the side. Daphne is reading a book. Basile tries to make small talk, Daphne ignores him (as she well should) and talks to Emma over him. Basile asks her out for coffee, Daphne is like, I’m studying. With a respectful human being, the conversation would end here. It’s appalling to me that even these little moments are chock full of Basile’s entitlement! Daphne says she’s reading, so either a) she is genuinely trying to enjoy her book or get some homework done or b) she just really doesn’t want to talk to Basile or c) both but IN ANY CASE he needs to get the fucking picture, she is not interested in continuing this conversation. I had to vent after I saw this scene because I’m just astonished by how thoroughly awful this relationship has been depicted, like they are hitting ALL the typical entitled dude moments. 

Anyway, welcome to hell. Arthur gives Basile the signal to keep going (and Arthur’s on my shit list, too, for enabling this behavior - like lol, here’s toxic masculinity for you). Basile asks if she heard the song he sent her. Daphne is like … the song with the deeply inappropriate lyrics? So not only is he continuing to bother her when she wants to be left alone, but the song he sent he was overly sexual? GEE WHY WOULD ANYONE THINK THIS IS HARASSMENT.

Arthur and Yann chide Basile for sending such a forward song, Yann told him to be less upfront so Daphne would want him. Yann is on my shit list, too! Stop encouraging this creepy behavior! This is like a textbook study of how guys enforce toxic masculinity, for real, because Arthur and Yann know full well that Daphne has said no a million times, she said no again 10 seconds ago while the boys were right there, and yet that’s not enough for them, either. They’re not telling Basile to back off.

Basile is like, what’s the point, no one wants me, and gets up and walks away. Lol, so this shit is about Basile’s poor feelings. Not Daphne’s, not how she felt when Basile was trying to hump her on the dance floor or never the shutting the fuck up about how he wants her. Basile being sad because he did a creepy thing and it wasn’t well-received. Of course. (I seriously think you could write that moment of him saying no one wants him in a way that’s poignant and sympathetic, but you have to build it up in a way where we can feel sorry for him without caveats. If you wanted me to feel sorry for him, don’t write him as persistently going after a girl who has said she’s not interested!)

Yann and Arthur talk to Daphne and are like, he probably didn’t even read the lyrics! Er, not Daphne’s fucking fault that Basile was lazy. The song was titled “May she love me.” The boys are like, how cute! OF FUCKING COURSE Daphne smiles a little after that as she looks at Basile walking off. The boys encourage Daphne to give him a chance. OF FUCKING COURSE men are telling a woman to give a poor guy a chance after she’s already said no over and over again. 

Did anyone realize this is some Nice Guy nonsense, too? That Basile, he’s really a decent guy! He’s so sweet and nice with his well-intentioned song choice! So why doesn’t Daphne give him a chance, hmm? I mean Basile is such a Nice Guy and yet no one will love him.

I’m sorry I cannot stop talking about this but it is astonishing how much crap they have packed into every goddamn scene of this nonsense. This is a man’s fantasy, this is a woman’s nightmare. Actually, no, - it’s women’s reality, because it happens often enough that men don’t give a shit about our boundaries and our rejections (however firm or polite) that this is a whole subset of feminist discourse, that we have terms like Nice Guy because these attitudes are so prevalent they merit a common phrase, that almost every woman has stories about some dude who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Manon’s hat

That’s the comment, Manon’s fucking hat

The other girls are messing with Romain about period blood, heh. Manon goes after Emma when Emma walks off. (We get treated to yet more dialogue from Yann and Arthur trying to persuade Daphne to give Basile a chance, siiiiiiigh. Let the girl read her book!) Emma is bummed because Raptor Alex didn’t respond to Emma’s invitation and he’s seeing another girl tonight. Emma also slept with another guy, Manon is impressed by how she can do that. But Emma said it sucked with that other guy and that with Alex the sex was good, it was just that when he opened his mouth that she was turned off. Lmao, Emma, some things just aren’t meant to be that serious? He’s good in bed but he’s not that interesting of a person. It’s fine. Either keep your FWB thing going or find someone you can bang while also having stimulating conversations or whatever.

Emma says Manon and Alex have more to talk about than she and Alex, and that she saw them the other day. Talking about Charles, obviously. Emma lets on that she knows something is wrong with Manon, and she’s waiting for Manon to talk about it. This scene’s a lot like the talk between Yann and Lucas in episode 5, except somehow I don’t think Emma is going to walk away once Manon opens up.

Manon says it’s complicated with Charles and she doesn’t know if he’s coming back. Emma says she’ll wait for Manon to open up. Manon gets teary. Apart from the fact that this is not in Lucas’ POV, and that this is about crappy straight pairings, on its own this is a really nice interaction between the two of them.

But can we talk about how absolutely awful the het pairings on this show are? We have Manon/Charles with their ramped-up alpha male crap in S2 and then what he did to Manon in London, which was despicable. We have Emma/Alex, who are functional as fuckbuddies but have no real intellectual or emotional connection (fine for what it is, but don’t tell me this is supposed to be a real romance). We have Alex/Romain, the bi girl with the boyfriend who’s fetishizing her and asking her for a threesome the minute after she comes out to him, basically. She seems done with him already, like she’s just dating him out of habit now. And we have Basile/Daphne, at the very bottom of the trash heap. I want Imane to have a love interest who’s genuinely great and who deserves her, but seriously, the bar is so low that French Yousef could basically lie on the ground and roll over it.

Clip 5 - Boat bangin’

Eliott leads Lucas to his surprise at the docks. There’s some cute banter with them; they do have nice chemistry when they’re directed well and allowed to be free with each other (when it’s been off I chalk that up to scenes being rushed more than the actors, but it hasn’t been often). Missed opportunity to do something interesting with POV, though? The boat and the dock are shown immediately, but since Eliott is covering Lucas’ eyes, they could replicate the sense of surprise by not showing the boat right away, just have a closeup on Lucas and Eliott until Eliott tells him to look, so we see the reveal when he does.

Eliott shows Lucas that they’re on a boat and Lucas is stunned and happy. He asks how Eliott paid for the boat and Eliott just blows off that question and swoops in for a kiss, and I mean, when a face that pretty is that happy, are you going to question it? Maxence does seem to be doing a nice job with the manic signs here; he’s just a little elevated and giddy, and it could certainly just be excitement to be alone with his new boyfriend, but it also registers as slightly higher than Eliott’s usual range to me. 

Eliott yells about his hot boyfriend to the water and he and Lucas goof around, it’s very cute. Lucas says no one has ever done anything like this for him. Awwww. But also, you understand why he’s letting the question of how Eliott paid for the boat slide. He’s just thrilled to be with him and touched by the grand gesture.

Inside the boat, Eliott pours champagne for him and Lucas. It’s not real champagne, as it turns out. I do like how this scene is shot, I don’t like a lot of Skam France’s directing but this is working for me. The scene on the deck was beautiful like a romantic movie scene, like it’s supposed to feel for Lucas, a combination of light and dark. But now the darkness inside the boat feels a little more stifling, in my opinion. I like that we see them from the side, considering each other. 

Eliott tells Lucas to try to eat some Italian ham, and I do like how Lucas is playacting like they’re living it up and being fancy. It’s a good thing because there is no fucking way on this planet that eating that ham is a sexy move. It is the opposite of sexy.  Eliott snatches ham from Lucas. Even the literal male model cannot make eating ham look sexy. Lucas describes the ham in sensual detail. Lucas says that it’s so good, you’d have thought Eliott cooked it. Eliott laughs and there’s a long look, which gets kind of intense? There’s something lingering in the air. I guess I was wrong, because these two seem immensely aroused by eating ham. Okay. No judgment. Glad you two found each other.

Eliott lights a cigarette, and like smoking kills and all, but objectively way sexier than eating ham. He shotguns with Lucas like Lucas did with Chloé in episode 1, except Eliott is way more skilled at it and obviously this is way sexier/more fulfilling to Lucas. Lucas is ready to fuuuuuuuuck. 

They smile at each other, very fond of each other, in love, and then we cut to the sex scene. To Skam France’s credit: they’re not shy or coy about showing the gay intimacy. The actors seem to be pretty naked. Stuff happens.

I personally don’t find this kind of sex scene terribly sexy, because the mechanics of bodies are less interesting to me than the characters’ emotions during the scene, usually (unless there’s something really unusual or notable going on, lol). The Evak hotel clip happened to be the exact kind of TV/movie sex scene I like: more suggestive than explicit, more focused on their faces and their expressions. With Lucas and Eliott, I give massive props to the actors for going this far with each other, and they’re not shy or uncomfortable, but I also wish we saw more of their expressions so this scene felt like them and not any two bodies going at it? But anyway, again, not a flaw of the scene, just a personal preference.

Anyway, in the afterglow, Lucas looks totally fucked into contentment and says he wants to live his life on the barge. Eliott says he does too and starts talking about renting it for the wedding and getting lots of ham and crisps, ONLY ham and crisps for their wedding. Lucas thinks that sounds like a disappointing wedding menu. Eliott starts eagerly rambling about how their wedding will be so great that everyone will only want ham and crisps at their weddings and caterers will go out of business and somehow Trump is involved because ham isn’t enough of a boner killer, we gotta have Trump mentioned, too. Lucas is kinda amused, with a trace of “huh.”

He talks more about the Ham Cold War and going off on a barge and the sound effect from the Skam hotel clip happens, or at least there’s this low rumbling like it might almost be the motor or mechanics of the boat? Whatever it is, it’s ominous, it signifies this conversation getting less goofy and idealistic, more like reality crashing on Lucas as he realizes something’s off about Eliott.

I like how they shot Eliott in this scene. He’s facing that camera and we’re very close to him, so it adds to the intensity of what he’s saying. The editing is also slightly choppy, some cuts between what Eliott is saying, it’s fractured and disjointed like the thoughts in his head, harder to follow.

Eliott just keeps going with this story, like he’s writing a novel in his head involving Trump and making friends with a drug lord and having to deliver weed via boat globally. Like, the kind of thing that could be just messing around, inventing a funny story, except for intense Eliott is about it. It’s making him crack up, he can’t stop laughing. And he doesn’t notice (or care) that Lucas isn’t really following or participating in this story, Eliott is off on his own adventure.

Lucas is just like … wow. Now confused. Either Eliott is drunk as fuck or there’s something really strange happening.

Eliott lies beside Lucas and asks about the Eliotts and Lucases in parallel universes. Then he says they should die tonight. RECORD SCRATCH. Lucas is taken aback to say the least. Why would Eliott say that? Eliott kisses Lucas on the forehead and says he’s kidding. He snuggles up to Lucas and Lucas is bothered. I mean, yeah, who wouldn’t be after your boyfriend casually suggests a double suicide? This ain’t Romeo + Juliet. (Although honestly, I feel like this might be more in line with Even’s characterization, since he’s the one who thinks “the only way to have something forever is by losing it” which would go along with the idea of dying at one’s peak, and he’s also the one making references to death or suicide throughout S3. Eliott doesn’t really talk about death or suicide, as far as I can remember?)

Clip 6 - Ship sinking

It’s later, Lucas is sleeping. He wakes up and Eliott is sitting by the side of the bed watching him. If you didn’t know the twist, you might think Eliott lured Lucas out to this boat to murder him. And here I thought Lucas was the one with the serial killer vibe. Lucas asks if he ever sleeps. Er, have we gotten a ton of hints that Eliott doesn’t sleep? I mean thinking about it, there was no reason for Eliott to be asleep in the cuddle scene in episode 5, because their make-out was in the middle of the day. Not unusual for him to stay awake. Did he say something in the kitchen scene that implied he hadn’t slept? We also didn’t get any middle of the night texts, as with Even. But Eliott says he can’t sleep with someone this hot in the bed. He sounds deadly somber when he says it, though. Lucas smiles and goes back to sleep.

Cut to later. Somewhat blurry lens because Lucas is drowsy and it represents his hazy state of mind. Eliott is naked and lacing up his sneakers. He says he’s going for a swim. Bare ass. Lucas is about to fall back asleep when he’s like … wait a second. He gets dressed, runs around the boat looking for Eliott and calling his name.

Was there a splash? I didn’t hear one. Better if there wasn’t a splash, but then you have no idea where Eliott is. And for Lucas, hearing that whole thing about “let’s die tonight” is going to make him panic even more.

Lucas is yelling and in tears, he calls Lucille. Axel does a nice job here. There’s the sound of police/ambulance/whatever those sirens are in the background, so did they find Eliott? Or are they just thematic at the moment? (The sirens were in the original Skam scene, too.) Lucas asks Lucille to come. Lucas screams and freaks out, he’s shaking.

Lucille shows up on the boat and Lucas tells her what happened. He;s more angry and upset and spitting than Isak, which makes sense with Lucas’ temper. But he’s also unraveling and in tears. Lucas describes how Eliott said he was going for a swim, and he doesn’t think Eliott jumped, but he was naked. 

Lucille says they have to hope the cops find him. When Lucas says he doesn’t understand, Lucille screams at him that Eliott is bipolar and broke into the barge. Lucas is like … he said he rented it. Lucille is like, for fuck’s sake, how do you think he paid for it? I dont know, is it totally out of the question Eliott has rich parents who give him a sizable allowance? I assumed Even just charged way too fucking much for that hotel suite or that he wiped out his savings or something, and Eliott could’ve done something similar. Though granted, I don’t know how much a weekend in a French barge costs. Anyway, I guess the point is that Lucas was so wrapped up in the fantasy that he didn’t bother to ask for further details, which is true.

Lucille asks if they smoked, pissed a hell. Lucas says just a little. Lucille says it makes Eliott sick and is bad for him. I mean, as I said about the Skam scene -that’s not Lucas’/Isak’s fault, that’s on Eliott/Even to know what he can and can’t do.

The way they lit and framed Lucille in this scene makes her seem kinda villainous, tbh. Or at least more dominant - it appears like she’s literally looking down at Lucas. I mean, she is very tall, heh.

Lucille gets a call, they’ve found Eliott. Lucas questions if they should call his parents, Lucille is like YES they should, obviously, he was naked in the street after he broke into a barge and he was smoking weed. I cannot disagree with Lucille on this.

Lucas wants to go with Lucille, but Lucille says no, Lucas needs to stay away, Eliott doesn’t love him, he can’t love him, it’s just something inside his head. She says Lucas is nothing to Eliott, he’s just a passing craze. What Lucille doesn’t know is that Lucas ain’t no passing phase, Hakuna Matata. Lucas sits down and cries after she leaves. Deeply dramatic piano music plays as he sobs. It gets a little too soap opera-ish here at the end, although I get that it’s a very intense scene; I just think the impact would’ve been just as great if they dialed it to a 10 instead of an 11. But you know, it’s Skam France.

Yeah, they made Lucille way more of an OTT villain here. I have to assume they’ll give her chance to speak for herself and humanize her like with Sonja, but it felt they escalated her less from someone who was just frustrated and concerned to someone who was operating out of spite, especially with the way they structured the scene. Like Sonja had the “he doesn’t love you” part earlier and she wasn’t like spitting at him. Isak was in disbelief, and she just left him like she was fed up. But they saved that “he doesn’t love you” part here for the final insult, the last knife to the ribs, and they made it more intense, too, like YOU’RE NOTHING TO HIM. Okay, Lucille, we get the picture, you can go back to punishing those kids for eating your gingerbread house.

I was pretty worried that this scene was going to be overly dramatic verging on exploitative, considering Skam France’s tendency to go over-the-top. But actually I think this set of clips was fine, other than the very end which was too much for my taste. The acting was strong and there were some solid directing choices. My biggest criticism is that they could have hinted at Eliott’s mania more before this clip, and that there wasn’t so much foreshadowing for this scene, in my opinion. And with Skam it wasn’t just about the clues that Even was bipolar, either, but the buildup of tension that something was off. Things like Eliott’s texts in the middle of the night about random memes managed to feel ominous, because we knew Even wasn’t sleeping. There are some moments that arguably were supposed to be hints about Eliott being manic, but I didn’t feel like they were so different from the rest of the acting/writing/directing/pacing that they really registered. So overall: buildup weak, payoff good on its own.

Social Media/General Comments

Lucas is shown hacking into the sink from the omelette that Eliott made, but I’m not convinced it wasn’t the paint. He posts a picture of the eggs like “If I get food poisoning, you’ll know why” YES BECAUSE YOUR MOUTHS WERE GUZZLING ART SUPPLIES OFF EACH OTHER LAST NIGHT.

Lucas did like all the meaningful posts on Eliott’s secret IG, like sketches of the rain and piano.

Eliott sleeps and Lucas cuddles him while singing a cover of “Call Your Girlfriend.” Sick Skam reference! (Actually I think Skam France's OG homages are really sweet.)

Lots of Eliott and Lucas couple selfies, with cuddly captions like “Him” or comments like “raccoon <3 hedgehog” emojis. Eliott draws another sketch of their fursonas together in all parallel universes.

Skam France also did something where they posted the sketch with pictures of the three Evaks out at the time, (from Norway, Italia, and France) which was seriously very cute and respectful of them. 

Basile is wearing a Game of Thrones T-shirt (”Hodor Hodor Hodor”) in an IG pic and not to judge because I watch Game of Thrones myself, I’m literally wearing socks with the House Targaryen sigil on them right now, but yeah, that sounds about right for his character.

There’s also a dick print on the mural, it seems? For fuck’s sake, how could Eliott and Lucas possibly have any satisfying sex with paint slathered over their junk? Or did they wait until they were finished and just wiped off the paint by plastering their bodies against the mural? Maybe that’s how they cleaned themselves up. But how could you possibly get that good of a penis shape without just like ... dipping your dick into the bucket of paint itself? How could you position your dick and balls against the wall that way to get the imprint? Anyway, Alex and Emma have a bet over whose dick it is. I don’t think it’s anyone’s actual dick, Eliott and/or Lucas just thought it would be funny to paint something that looked like one. 

Lucas brings up the Lucille call in a text to Eliott, saying that maybe Lucille had something to tell him, and that Eliott told her to fuck off. Eliott brings up that it’s something they had in common: Eliott told Lucille to fuck off so he could be with Lucas, Lucas told his friends to fuck off so he could be with Eliott (on Friday in the foyer). Well. Not totally the same, Eliott, but I feel like this is almost a diversion from what Lucas wants to know. Eliott says sometimes you have to tell people to fuck off to live your life. Lucas seems appeased by this answer for now, because he doesn’t push the topic, just says he’s happy Eliott is going with them tomorrow to the park.

I am not French so please feel free to correct me on translation or cultural notes.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[athena1138]

i did another ask list bc i’m at a crossroads with my drawing

Single or dating?

single pringle

What do you look for in a person?

So much but also not much? I just wanna be with someone who gets me. Someone who can make me laugh and blush and who treats me nice and respects my boundaries and isn’t afraid to tell me about their boundaries. Someone who won’t manipulate me and cheat on me and then gaslight me because they don’t want to stop it. I just. I just wanna be loved, like really loved and cherished, yknow? 

Zodiac sign?

scorpio :3

What Hogwarts house are you in?

HUFFLEPUFF

What shirt are you wearing right now?

I’m not, I’m wearing a little grey dress 

Do you have any pets?

Me personally, yes, 1 1/2 cats (custody of my first son is in debate between me and my mother.) In my house? 2 cats and 4 dogs

Netflix or Hulu?

Netflix bc the Hulu subscrip I’m leeching off of uses ads (which is totally fine, I mean I’m not paying for it (I do intend to get off of it soon, ker, don’t let momma freak out about it. Mom’s talking about getting her own.))

Best self care tip?

Honestly? It’s cheesy but, look in a mirror, like really look for a good 2 or 3 minutes. Find 10 things about your face/body that you can say you don’t totally hate. And then when you’re done, smile at your reflection and tell yourself you’re beautiful. If you do it enough, eventually you’ll begin to believe yourself. 

Any odd skills?

Idk what “odd” means. Um. I guess I remember certain things really well? Like, you wanna hear an exact conversation I had 13 years ago? Cool settle down. You wanna hear a list of 30 random and completely useless facts I’ve involuntarily collected over the years? I gotchu. 

Favorite color?

Teal and mulberry

Did you play sports growing up?

I tried softball, made it through half the season before I rage quit. That was it though. I was a band kid instead. (But fam, if I had known what water polo was, you best believe I’d have been on all the teams.) 

Eye color?

brown 

Hair color?

brown 

Any tattoos or piercings?

answered in my last list (8 earrings and a nose ring, used to have another set of lobes and an eyebrow ring, 3 tattoos)

First kiss?

I was like 11 and it was bad. Like really bad. We tried to eat jolly ranchers to make it better but it was just so bad. 

Are you learning any new skills?

Digital art :3 

Early bird or night owl?

night owl

Sunrises or sunsets?

Sunrises, but only if I’m already up. I’m not getting out of bed for that shit. 

*pick 2 foods and make me choose*

My top 2 favorite foods are pork 包子(big fluffy Chinese dumplings) and chili. I’d choose bao every day of my life :) 

Super power of choice?

Shapeshifting. But not just like into other people, more like I’d like the ability to give myself mutations. Catch me disappearing into the ocean for 50 years to go be a mermaid then catch me coming back out to be a fuckin tree or something until I’ve decided I’m ready to reintegrate into society. 

Do you want to get married?

I may or may not have at least 3 dream weddings planned out in scary detail.

Do you want kids?

fuck that noise

Any siblings?

A brother 10 years older than me who I’ve disowned, and a sister 8 years older than me. 

Do you drive?

Ye. 

Long or short hair?

On me? I don’t care. Usually long until I have a mental breakdown and chop it all off. On other people? I especially don’t care

Oldest, youngest, or middle child?

Youngest

First 3 songs from a shuffle?

The Weed Smoker’s Dreams from Hugh Laurie, Smells Like Teen Spirit from Nirvana, Money from Ivy Levan. 

Marvel or DC?

MCU but DC’s villains. 

Any pet peeves?

Being rude to people, chewing with your mouth open, driving without your lights on. 

Are you named after anyone?

No, but my middle name came from my mom’s best friend growing up. (Though my dad was married to a Rebecca before my mom which I think is really fucking weird that I’m named Rebecca, too? Mom swears there’s no correlation but come on.) 

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Pfft, who, me?

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Depends on where I’m going. Max an hour and that’s if I need to shower and put eyeliner on. 

Have you ever been in an airplane?

Ye

How about a helicopter?

No

What time is it right now where you live?

11:30pm

Have you ever been out of your home country?

Ye

What was the reason for your last breakup?

He left me for a minor. 

What kind of phone do you have?

Samsung galaxy s7

Who is the last person you texted?

My mommy

Would you consider your name unique?

My name is Rebecca. Let that be an answer. 

Do you prefer swimming in the ocean or a pool?

They both have perks. Probably a pool, I guess. I can get scared of water I can’t see through, but I do love the ocean.

Are you right or left handed?

Right

Do you wear pajamas? If so, what kind?

Nope. I either fall asleep in my clothes or I’m sleeping in a tank top and underwear (unless I’m home alone then it’s just underwear.) 

What is the temperature right now?

80, and i have a blanket on.

Are you a picky eater?

Nope. I just have one thing I absolutely cannot eat and that’s anything on a bone. Oh, and ham & bean soup, gravy of any kind, and anything that comes out of the water. 

Do you fear thunder/lightning?

Hell no I love that shit

Do you get homesick?

I can, but increasingly less as time goes on. 

Do you wear a ring?

Nah. I have fat fingers and don’t like things on my hands. That’s part of the reason I don’t want an engagement ring is because I’d be too scared to lose it and then I’d never wear it and I’d still somehow lose it. (I wanna get the One Ring’s inscription tattooed around my ring finger.) 

Favorite soda?

Cherry vanilla coke

Are both of your biological parents still in your life?

No. Dad died 9 years ago

[blackbatpurplecat]

Double Review

What’s up, kittybats? Feeling a bit down today so I’ll write something positive to lift my mood.

One comic book character has been talked about frequently over the past months and the stuff related to him was great: Spider-Man! A mind-blowing game AND a Golden Globe winning animated movie were dominating headlines (not to mention the trailer to the next Holland movie) and of course, I checked out everything. Here are my thoughts:

Spider-Man (PS4)

Several colleagues of mine had asked me what I thought of the game and all I could answer was “I don’t have a PS4. :( “ So after hearing them praise it to high heaven, I thought about it a few weeks (it’s a big purchase after all) and eventually went out and bought one. With the sole intention of playing Spidey. And then I didn’t touch that game for months (THE GAME I BOUGHT A FUCKING PS4 FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE) because I got addicted to getting Arthur Morgan to Tahiti! I am hopeless. (RDR2 is amazing btw. Let me know if you care about my thoughts on it.)

Short plot intro: Spidey finally captures Kingpin and the big guy goes to jail. His absence however creates a power vacuum which is promptly filled by a mysterious gang, the Demons. Now Peter has to find out what they want and who their leader is while he’s also struggling with being evicted from his apartment, not getting paid for his lab job, working with his ex, Mary-Jane, and watching his mentor and idol, Dr. Octavius, getting fucked over by Osborn. Lots on this little spider’s plate.

Anyway, I’ve finally finished the main story and can honestly say this game is so much fucking fun! First of all, it looks AWESOME! The graphics are so pretty, the Spidey-suits look fantastic, the moves and physics are perfect! You spend most of your time swinging around Manhattan but it just won’t get boring. I preferred the swinging and flying over the fast travel option, even when I had to cross the entire map.

I love everything about the voice-acting, the dialogues, the story. I wouldn’t say I’m a Spider-Man fan but this game made me wish I was one so I could appreciate every in-joke, every easter egg, and reference even more. Towards the ending, I even got teary-eyed because the writing knew exactly how to give you the feels.

You’ll find a couple of side missions as well. If you look at them objectively you could say they become repetitive as it’s mostly the same spiel dressed kinda differently each time but I didn’t care. I enjoyed them all! Well, except for the pigeon one... Still haven’t caught them all. I hate those fucking birds...

So now I’m working through the three DLCs. Halfway through the one with Black Cat at the moment. She looks great but I wish I could cut those loose strands on the sides of her face. By the way, the human faces are quite well animated. I couldn’t help but compare them to Arkham Knight’s human faces. Characters in AK looked stiff and dead while S-M did it right, thank God.

To summarize, the Spider-Man game is definitely worth the money, it’s hours of fun entertainment and marvelous writing, and not only Spidey fans will enjoy it. It’s a lot like the Arkham games but polished and improved. HIGHLY recommend it!

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (animated film)

Another mind-blowing Spidey experience! WOW, all those styles! The music! The voice-acting! The feels! Holy cow, the feels!

So this Spidey story does not focus on our Peter Parker but the iconic black Spider-Man, Miles Morales. He’s a good-hearted teenager dealing with a lot of pressure coming from his parents and school. While he’s trying to figure out what to do with his life, he gets bitten by a radioactive spider and accidentally stumbles across Kingpin’s newest plan: building a particle accelerator underneath the city to access different dimensions. Suddenly, Miles is faced with great powers and great responsibilities as he’s helping a group of various Spider-people to get back to their universes.

This is how you make a comic book animated movie. This is it. I can’t imagine how you wanna top this.

You get introduced to every important character so you’re not forced to read up on them. You also get invested and attached quite quickly. The textures on the characters were so pretty, every face looked different (yes, even the female faces!), the animation is so smooth, agile, and fluid. Every dimension has its own style. There are tiny comic book details built in like speed lines or single words. Also the camera work was fantastic! We watched it in 3D, it was breathtaking on the big screen.

The story is simple and nothing new but executed very well. Bonus point: no forced love story. Nice! Each character had a real personality. And I absolutely loved the visual storytelling, especially when they explained Fisk’s background, that scene was powerful.

All I can say is that I adored this movie, I want to watch it again, I want it to win the Oscar for Best Animated Feature, and I want a sequel! Gimme more Spider-Gwen, gimme Spider-Woman, Silk, Sable, Black Cat! And more John Mulaney as Spider-Ham! XD