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lolomidi · 7 months

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The Price of Entertainment: An Episode-By-Episode Analysis of Alastor's Facade

I don’t think any character in Hazbin Hotel has been discussed as much as Alastor, and it’s a testament to how much the writers put in his character that the mystery of his intentions, past, and contract have been so debated on.

There are some takes I vehemently disagree with, but something a lot of people seem to have settled on is that Alastor is, behind his massive ego and cool-headed persona, insecure about his place in Hell after his long “sabbatical.” I want to do an episode-by-episode analysis of Alastor’s behavior and how Season 1 shifts our view of him from an unquestionably powerful Overlord to something with more depth, and while I won’t be speculating on who owns his soul and how he’ll break that contract in those post, I will take a guess at the future of his character in a narrative sense. I will also implicitly be addressing my issues with some of the conclusions others have made, or at least playing devil's advocate.

NOTE: I want to clarify that none of this is meant to depict Alastor as some poor woobie. He’s still awful. He’s in Hell for several reasons and being a serial killer is only one of them. Rather, I want to analyze what is shown to us about him, and how those story beats can be used to determine where he’ll end up by the finale of the series.

ALSO NOTE: I haven’t followed all of VivziePop’s comments outside of the show about the characters, and it’s possible that certain details have been changed between the release of the pilot and the show, so take any mentions of what hasn’t been explicitly depicted within the show with a grain of salt.

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Part 1: Recap Analysis

This section will consist of commentary regarding Alastor's appearance and behavior in the given episodes, with retrospection based on new information given in later episodes if needed.

“Overture”: Alastor is pretty one-to-one with his depiction in the pilot in the first episode. He’s snarky, open about his sadism, but helpful if begrudgingly so. Interestingly, he’s able to put together a well-edited, if tonally awful, commercial, and probably could have done better if he weren’t intentionally being an ass about it. From the finale we know that he and Vox likely used to have a more magnanimous relationship, and it’s likely that he picked up some tools of the digital trade in that time despite or before being turned off completely by it.

“Radio Killed the Video Star”: Vox effectively plays heel for Alastor this episode as we continue that first impression of the Radio Demon. We spend a good time showing off the former’s power and how far his roots have spread throughout Hell’s society, only for Alastor to effortlessly trounce him and steal from his audience, despite being gone for so long and his position in Hell less stable. This indicates that Alastor does still have pull, but at the same time that his position in the hierarchy of Hell is being contested due to the length of his absence. He deals with it easily here, but we’ll see in subsequent episodes that things aren’t as smooth as they first seem.

“Scrambled Eggs”: In terms of the eggs, there’s not much to talk about. He begrudgingly accepts Vaggie’s request to get rid of them “humanely,” but brings them back to the hotel after they prove to be useful spies.

More importantly, we get our first small hint that Alastor’s ego can be bruised when Carmilla doesn’t humor him during the meeting between Overlords. Now, I actually disagree with a lot of the takes on this episode in that I think it indicates that at least some of Alastor’s views and need to prove himself as a powerful Overlord are the result of self-delusion. Yes, he does need to reestablish himself as a person not to be messed with after being gone for so long, but I think it isn’t as bad as some are making it out to be, which makes his behavior in later episodes more strange and excessive if anything.

Carmilla, who mind you is a busy and stressed woman trying to hide the fact that she’s successfully murdered an angel, hits his ego by not caring where he’s been (something he wouldn’t have revealed in the first place), but she also welcomes him back, which is more than you could say to Velvette and by extension the Vees. And minutes before that, Zestial, who’s probably the highest on their totem pole, does go out of his way to meet with Alastor and inquire about where he’s been. Alastor himself gets over the slight pretty quickly and has no issue contributing to the meeting. Overall, he isn’t necessarily terrifying other overlords, but he still has an established place with them and they do seem to get along well enough. He’s “part of the group” unlike the Vees, who are treated more like upstart outsiders.

I also want to point out that despite Zestial likely outranking Alastor in power, they seem to be alright with each other. Alastor is cordial and does not demonstrate a desire to antagonize him like he does Lucifer in the next episode. Speaking of which…

“Dad Beat Dad”: This episode gives us a lot to chew on and is the first major indicator that Alastor’s issues go beyond wanting to be the center of the room. From the very moment Lucifer walks into the hotel*, his eye is twitching and he is visibly pissed. Lucifer undermining him (notably contrasting Zestial, who is polite despite his power) doesn’t help and makes Alastor let loose his first swear in the entire show. Being the petty bitch he is, Alastor, knowing he can’t intimidate Lucifer in any way, immediately goes for his weak point–Charlie–and plays up the role of a caretaker for her and the hotel. It’s a low blow, but it also feels like a defense–he’s signaling to Lucifer that this is his hotel, that things are taken care of already, and that they do not need his assistance, even though they ultimately do in order to get a meeting with Heaven.

But then things get more complicated with the appearance of Mimzy, who, to the surprise of several characters due to his solitary nature, was friends with Alastor all the way back when they were alive, and she carries a load of implications with her. She’s the only crack so far at what a “human” Alastor is like–apparently he’s a heavyweight drinker, a good dancer, and most notably, in Mimzy’s words, a sweet man who "becomes a kitten" when he's drunk. This is a huge departure from the unflappable, egotistical Radio Demon we’ve known up to now, and I think it’s a purposeful choice that we’re hearing this information but not shown it like his early days in Hell just prior. It’s simultaneously left to the imagination but difficult to do so because it contrasts so heavily with everything that has been shown to us beforehand. Another thing is that Mimzy is sure that Alastor will clean up her mess–and apparently this isn’t the first time he has, if Husk is anything to go by. So many people seem to miss this, but Alastor, who hates being tied down or disrespected, has been allowing Mimzy to leech off of him, presumably due to their past friendship making him turn a blind eye.

Alastor is on edge for this entire episode and is already unusually snappy when Husk addresses Mimzy, and pushing the button that was his contract is what sends him over the edge. His temper exploding is a direct result of his feeling that his control over both the hotel (via Lucifer) and his personal life (via Husk’s “doubt” that he can handle everything and that his reputation is what it used to be, plus the reminder of his deal) is being taken away from him. Alastor’s threat to Husk, which seems to not be his usual behavior if Husk’s willingness to show concern and talk back in the first place is anything to go by, is an attempt to remind both of them that he holds the cards, that he’s a powerful Overlord that is not to be trifled with, and he explicitly says as much when he goes out to deal with what Mimzy’s dragged in.

It’s only after he lets his anger out on the mobsters and “proves himself” that he visibly calms down and makes the logical decision to tell Mimzy to leave with a serious attitude, and also doesn’t antagonize anyone for the rest of the episode. It seems like despite his fury earlier, he was listening to Husk, who’s rightfully smug about it. He’s even present when Charlie declares her desire to protect her people, and his smile seems just a tad bit more genuine.

*Note: it’s not impossible that Alastor has some sort of personal grudge against Lucifer which caused his hate-on-first-sight, depending on the circumstances of his disappearance and contract (i.e. if it’s with Lilith).

“Hello Rosie!”: As opposed to Dad Beat Dad, Hello Rosie is arguably where we see Alastor at his most in-his-element. He gives off a lot of conflicting vibes at the beginning, from mocking Charlie’s distress to, in a shockingly honest moment, lecturing her about the importance of a smile to portray strength, a card we’d only been shown due to comments outside of the show. He smugly holds his knowledge over Charlie’s head but is visibly impatient to have her make a blank check of a deal with him, solid enough to benefit him but vague enough so that Charlie won’t feel immediately threatened. He’s clearly been waiting for an opportunity like this since the events of the pilot.

After that, he puts back on his gentleman’s demeanor and introduces Charlie to Rosie, and from here on he’s arguably at his most comfortable in the entire show. He’s relaxed around Rosie and is actually willing to ask for her help (something I can’t see him doing with any other character), casually complains about Susan, is encouraging to and praises Charlie even behind her back, and most notably, gives her his radio cane unprompted. More on that later. He also mentioned wanting to guide Charlie to Rosie specifically, implying that he was being genuine about wanting to act as a mentor to her, though his intentions are probably self-beneficial.

“The Show Must Go On”: The finale is arguably the most revealing episode on what Alastor’s inner world is like, as we see him unmasked several times. For one, his private admission to Niffty, the closest thing he has to a friend within the hotel, that he’s enjoyed watching the other residents connect to each other. This is in direct opposition to his initial (stated) reason for helping the hotel in that he wanted to watch them all fail, and yet he seems content with his initial assumptions being proven wrong. There’s no malice or sarcasm in this moment, he’s relaxed and talking to someone he relatively trusts.

And so he goes into the battle swinging and confident. Then, of course, Adam.

I want to bring up something before we keep going. Yes, fighting Adam without angelic weaponry was a needless risk. Yes, Alastor fell victim to the very sloppiness and arrogance he accused Adam of, and it’s thematically appropriate that he was the only one to lose his battle in that he was fighting for his own ego more than “love.” But also, people seem to forget that Alastor is the only demon in the entire show with a precedent for permakilling without an explicit reliance on angelic weaponry, as the Overlords he toppled in his original rampage seem to have never returned. He’s egotistical, but not stupid. He may have genuinely believed that he had the means to kill Adam himself but didn’t get the chance/couldn’t due to his contract or absence possibly weakening him. But that's speculation for another day.

So, he has to retreat before Adam double-taps his ass and is too injured to return until after the extermination. He makes a grand exit, but not before grabbing the broken pieces of his radio cane. The one he allowed Charlie to use just an episode prior, and presumably is a conduit for his powers, and he grabs it while a murderous angel is inches away from wiping him off the face of Hell.

His portion of “Finale” is the first time we see him singing alone and not playing off someone in a duet. It’s obvious that he’s trying to keep his composure, still speaking to himself in his artificial transatlantic accent (which we now know for a fact he doesn't need to do, seeing as he finally broke character when Adam wrecked his cane) and reassuring himself that he’ll come out on top next time. But here his front shatters and we openly see what the show has been hinting he is for the first time: a deeply paranoid, desperate, and unstable man.

Essentially the worst-case scenario has happened: after a season of interfering with every attempt to capture him on camera, Vox has footage of him at his lowest point for all of Hell to see, and he’ll have “died” a martyr, a weakling, and still in the chains of an unwanted contract. For Alastor, who is so deeply afraid of showing any sign of vulnerability, who wants to be seen as a monstrous Overlord, it’s understandable that this humiliation is enough to send him into a mental spiral and recant any fondness for the hotel in favor of accomplishing his own goals. Worse yet, when we next see him he gives zero indication of any of this even when Charlie and company are simply glad that he's alive, which leaves us to wonder: has he been like this behind the smile from the very beginning?

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Part 2: Closing Thoughts and Future Speculation

With everything we’ve taken note of above, we can start to piece together a picture of who this guy is, and what the writers are going to do with him.

Alastor is sentimental. It’s not just his attachment to older technology or his love for being the center of everyone's attention. He likes being around people, he has friends, one of which he continuously indulged despite her using him multiple times, and he ultimately was starting to enjoy his time at the hotel before his defeat spooked him. Despite him using her, the fact that he was even willing to let Charlie use his cane (and note that he takes it from her as soon as she’s given a substitute, so that is a significant gesture for him) is an implicit display of trust whose implications don’t become apparent until the finale.

But this is paired with deep insecurity. Alastor, despite being one of the most powerful people in the Pride Ring, has a crippling fear of being seen as vulnerable or “lesser” by others. There could be multiple overlapping reasons for this: the general climate of Hell, whatever happened to him seven years ago, his experiences as a mixed-race human living in Prohibition-era Louisiana, his original death, a natural predisposition, etc.

Regardless, this anxiety of his is so overwhelming that, when paired with the ever-present stress of not owning his own soul, it’s driving him insane. He made a splash in Hell upon entry and now he’s desperately trying to reinvoke that in order to defend himself both physically and mentally. He’s the gifted kid who’s slowly going nuts trying to keep up an impossible momentum as they grow older. He’s an ex-human denying his humanity because he doesn’t want to feel human. Everyone’s out to get him, and anyone who could be an enemy is an enemy unless he has total control over them via a contract, power, or the reassurance of years of close friendship. It’s why he’s cordial to Zestial but takes Carmilla (who wasn't even trying to spite him) and Lucifer’s comments personally, in the same way someone with low self-esteem might want to lash out against an authority figure who they feel is looking down on them.

Worse yet, he can’t/won’t let these feelings out and is bottling them up so that no one will know he feels this way (note how quickly he was able to relax in Dad Beat Dad when he was given an outlet for his stress), because that’s a sign of weakness too. It’s honestly kind of frightening that in his final scene he gives zero indication of being injured or of just having had a meltdown. By all outside accounts, he’s his usual chipper self, and no one at the hotel save for maybe Husk, who can’t say anything Alastor doesn’t want him to, would realize anything is amiss. The reason his part of “Finale” is chilling isn’t just because of the implications that he will become an antagonist in the future–it’s that his mental state is so poor that he is no longer acting rationally, which makes him unpredictable in the worst possible way.

I think Alastor’s character arc isn’t going to be redemption by way of going to Heaven, I don't think that place is his style anyway, but rather redemption of his own self-image. I don’t think the writers would make what is arguably the most popular and well-developed character in the show just to say that he’s hopelessly evil and simply end it at that. We’ve been exposed to multiple facets of his character, and while his deeds and probably his intentions are sinister, his underlying motivation for it all seems to be “freedom,” which decidedly isn’t (unless your name is Eren Jaeger).

I do believe that he’ll have his villain moment where he indulges in his worst impulses, but that ultimately it won’t do anything to fulfill him, because as we see in the official comics before the release of the show (which may no longer be canon but still give a viable “baseline” for the characters), when his desire to be feared and respected is granted, it only isolates him. Like the others, he’ll have to hit rock bottom before he can climb back up.

Pentious, who was successfully redeemed, needed to understand that people weren’t out to get him, which allowed him to make the decision to put his friends before himself and trigger his selfless sacrifice. Angel, who’s well on his way to redemption, needed to realize he wasn’t alone and could rely on others, and his confidence and self-love has grown enormously since then. I think these are both lessons Alastor will need to learn eventually as well. He’s the manager of the hotel, but also undoubtedly a patient. He’s hungry for freedom, but only when he learns these lessons will he be truly free.

Or maybe I’m thinking too much into it idk lmaooooo

#hazbin hotel #hazbin theory #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin analysis #zestial morde #carmilla carmine #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel rosie #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #thank god i finally released this now i never have to think about this show again #that tragic feeling when the tumblr sexyman bait is the best character in the show #alastor does not have a blanket hatred for everyone who's more powerful than he is #if he did then he'd despise charlie too and genuinely doesn't seem to #rather it's towards ANYONE whether stronger or weaker than him who refuse to acknowledge him #oooooooh this boy's got a complex but he's a VivsiePop character so it's par for the course #but anyway some of the takes people have made on him are abysmal to me so i wrote my first tumblr post in a decade

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lansplaining · 1 year

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re: golden core reveal - wasn't JC actively attacking LWJ and (bleeding and semi-unconscious) WWX when WN arrived? I get that this fight was a misunderstanding and an overreaction from everyone involved, and JC didn't really want to kill or injure anyone, but if WN only arrived at the scene when he heard the sounds of fighting, I can totally see why he was so mad at JC lol, it probably looked like he was trying to kill WWX for some reason

YEAH okay so

(sorry this got long)

Jiang Cheng follows Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji into the temple and starts accusing them of fooling around, which I'd totally forgotten is actually the part that really upsets Wei Wuxian. And then he attacks first!

Wei Wuxian saw the change in Lan Wangji's expression and thought that Jiang Cheng's words had stung him. He was so angry that his entire body shook. He didn't even dare imagine what Lan Wangji thought of being insulted like that. His fury blazed brighter, blood rushed to his head, and he flung out a talisman.

The talisman was fast and merciless. It struck Jiang Cheng on his right shoulder and exploded with a thunderous bang, causing him to stagger. He hadn't expected Wei Wuxian to strike so suddenly, and his own spiritual powers had yet to fully recover. As a result, the blast caught him head-on and his shoulder began to bleed.

Disbelief flashed across his face, and Zidian shot from his finger, sizzling and flashing haphazardly as it lashed out (249, 7S trans.).

So then a fight breaks out between the three of them, Wei Wuxian's like wait this is terrible and nearly passes out. When that happens--

Jiang Cheng's expression changed too. He retracted his whip, then blinked, looking alert (249, 7S trans.).

[...]

Jiang Cheng was both shocked and suspicious-- shocked by the disturbing sight of Wei Wuxian bleeding so suddenly from his seven orifices, and suspicious that this was an act he was putting on to escape. After all, Wei Wuxian often used such tricks to prank others.

Seeing they were both about to leave, he barked, "Hold it right there!

Lan Wangji fumed, "Get lost!"

With his words came an abruptly raging Bichen. Immediately after, a flash of purple lightning hurtled forth as well. Both divine weapons struck each other, letting loose a long, ear-piercing yowl. The impact of this noise gave Wei Wuxian a splitting headache, and like a flickering candle flame that was finally extinguished, his eyes closed and his head drooped low.

Sensing the sudden weight on his shoulder, Lan Wangji promptly extracted himself from the melee to feel his breathing.

With Bichen's master no longer supplying it with power, Zidian immediately advanced towards them. Jiang Cheng, who didn't actually want to injure Lan Wangji, instantly pulled back his strike-- but it seemed it was still too late.

Just then, a figure leapt from nowhere and stood between them (250-1, 7S trans.).

So Wen Ning jumps in, Jiang Cheng asks how he dares to enter Lotus Pier, he's so angry he's laughing... and he still isn't actually attacking Wen Ning or anyone else. Wen Ning immediately offers him Suibian and jumps into the golden core reveal. Obviously, it's set up so we don't know how much of the preceding exchange he saw, but in actual fact we've gone from a fight that Wei Wuxian started to a second round that Lan Wangji started, and where Jiang Cheng never actually intended to hurt Lan Wangji and tried to pull back as soon as Lan Wangji abruptly stopped fighting.

You're totally right that by entering the fight once Wei Wuxian is passing out, it looks like Lan Wangji is trying to desperately defend Wei Wuxian from attack. But even then, the move that Wen Ning intercepts is Jiang Cheng trying to withdraw Zidian and back off! He decides that the only possible way to de-escalate this fight is by revealing Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng's darkest secret before he even tries to, say, help hold off Jiang Cheng physically so that the other two can escape (or, you know, distract him with some other subject).

It just really felt like a sudden escalation to me reading it this time, even accepting that Wen Ning is leaping into a situation where a) everyone has already been misreading Jiang Cheng's intentions the whole time and b) he missed the beginning of the conflict so he doesn't really have context.

(And also the context is......... Wei Wuxian is mad because he incorrectly thinks Lan Wangji is offended by Jiang Cheng insinuating that they're hooking up lol)

#book reference #ask answered #thank you for taking my discussion bait anon <3 #idk if it's something about this translation or what but the fact that jiang cheng 100% does not hate wei wuxian #and desperately wants to connect with him feels so so much clearer reading it this time

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derpinette · 8 months

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when i exchange a message whether i receive or send one i have to immediately shut off my device & walk some laps for a few minutes to shake off the adrenaline rush

#i try to forget that ever happened so i can relax because otherwise i get heart palpitations & headrush my uterus drops ETC #so i have to stay off of whatever site i just used for like an hour but now i have messages sent+received on every app #i can only escape to yourube & it sucks #also even anonymously i exit out of the thread/tab & ignore that tab for as long as it takes me to forget #& then i check back on the replies hours later or days even despite not ever posting bait i just get nervous #( but not always... خلّي أيامك أحلى )#currently hamster walking everywhere in my house & it took me a day to reply back ( was too busy agonizing )#could have been a month like last time. or year like the other two times before. IDK why i even bothered #WHEW #that one screencap i already posted before with the courage the cowardly dog picrel Shockingly not posted by me #but i might as well have i do the exact same thing & when people are nice to me i ride that high for a week if not more #the high i got from crushing it at scribbl with randoms in 2020 i rode for like two years & then the *** livestream in 2022 #i am still riding today & ALWAYS WILL best days of my internet life for Serious look forwards to it annually cured me completely #from suicidal ideation. THANK YOU WOMEN. ^_^

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septembersghost · 11 months

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some of you have leaned so hard into your utterly empty, intellectually devoid, frivolous language that masquerades as progressive radicalism and sociological purity testing that you have fallen all the way into dehumanization and condemnation of the "other" to prove from behind your screens that you have joined the "correct side" of what is tantamount to hardline dogmatic thinking. if you suppress individual thought, compassion, open discussion, and malign the free press, you are not a progressive, you are a functional conservative in a different outfit. if you have decided that your abstract language and frothy ideals should be elevated above actual human life, and are using said language to divorce it from humanistic approaches to others and concern for their welfare, or worse, are using it to actively harass and frighten them, you are, in fact, the very enemy you claim to be fighting, and you should not be trusted, because your philosophies are built upon sand and will shift with the tides to make sure you are not affected by the damage that you do.

#clawing towards any sense of sanity here you're going to drive me to leave entirely #if you disagree with this yet again i ask you to block me unfollow me and perhaps look inwardly #start educating yourselves through more than misinformation infographics and outrage bait designed to dehumanize everyone #eta: i'm pinning this because you will not break me with your hatefulness and your rancor.#still not here and still running entirely on the queue. still not sure when/if i'm coming back #to the people participating in what i am discussing: we're done here. this is all i have to say to you.#to those who have reached out lovingly thank you. you are true blessings and lights. please take care

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twpsyn-who · 5 months

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Soulmate AU in which when you touch your soulmate you swap bodies. It needs to be skin on skin contact and is instant. The only way to get back in the previous body is to touch again, otherwise you're stuck like that.

No matter the body all psychological and physical damage stays with you. That means if you get hurt then swap bodies, you will still feel it despite no longer having the wounds. This is only the case of existing wounds prior to swapping ; if new wounds happen to the hurt body after the swap you won't feel them, but the person in the body when it happens will. A very complicated way of saying that you can't get away from pain by swapping bodies with your soulmate as it will follow you.

There's no known consequences to not changing bodies back once swapped, though some might get sick for a few days after swapping back if they waited a long period of time to change back (say over a month, even longer depending on individual)

Now this but, you know... JeanMarco. And of course they find out during their time in the 104th Training Corps, because there's no way their skin didn't touch at least once in +3 years of training and being as close as they are. It isn't until break when they're able to visit home that they learn what it truly means ; up until that point they used it to swap chores (is the only reason why Jean didn't try to kill Eren during their shared chores- because it was actually Marco all along). At that point they knew each other perfectly.

Of course the whole situation was a little bit awkward for both of them when returning. They probably would end up avoiding each other for a bit because teenager boys and stuff, all until someone finally got the guts to mention the tension and ask them what's wrong- which forces them to talk and stuff. Doesn't matter, this is not what I want to talk about.

But the beautiful battle of Trost and what if, hypothetical speaking of course, they touch skin after Jean gets another ODM? And they're so used with each other by now, they don't even notice until the mission is nearly done anyway. And I don't know man, the idea of Jean dying while in Marco's body? Marco (in Jean's body) saying "I need to find Marco" once the mission is a success and research for his soulmate, just for him to not find him?? Not find him until 3 days later when some of them are assigned cleaning duty in Trost and he finds his own fucking body bitten in half???

The realization that it should've been Marco who died that day, but didn't because he was in Jean's body. The realization that not only his soulmate is dead, but he's stuck living his life. He's stuck living the life Jean can't because he died in Marco's place.

SEEING YOUR DEAD SOULMATE EVERYDAY WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR. Poor Marco would most likely avoy any reflective surface for a very long time, unable to see Jean's face looking at him.

The guilt of lying to everyone, because how does one even begin to explain what's going on? Him lying to Jean's mother to protect her from the harsh truth of the reality- that her son actually died and the one in front of her was a fake.

And the sad truth is that no one would notice because they've been doing it for months already. They knew how to act like each other to perfection. Even if Marco slipped at some point no one would question it because they got many traits from each other already.

#Ok Armin might notice at some point. But I think somewhere later in the series #And only because of something extremely trivial like idk man Jean thanking Eren for something like #You heard of twins switching lifes now I present to you soulmates doing the exact thing but there's no turning back from it #Don't we all love the swapping bodies trope?#Marco crying when he learns of how Jean truly died because //he only got killed because they thought he was Marco//#With the amount the angst thrown at him Marco might as well just stay dead #anyway #aot #jean kirstein #jeanmarco #aot jean #marco bodt #marco bott #aot marco #jean kirschstein #soulmate au #JeanMarco Soulmates AU #Because there's a weirdly big lack of this trope for them and they deserve more #Hey hey. Is just a little scenario. There's 100% a lot of fluff going on during their training days #Lots of shenanigans too while learning to be comfortable in each other's body and stuff. And The Talk man #Everyone remembers that week in which Jean and Marco avoided each other like the worst week of their life #And some watched loved ones get eaten by titans man like it was THAT bad #Shadis was this 🤏🏻 close to starting an intervention because he wasn't paid enough to put up with whatever was going on #Oh nvm Ymir probably knew but that girl knew a lot of shit and said nothing so it doesn't matter. What's another secret added to the pile?#She could tell right away #Ymir takes one look at you and can tell immediately if you're gay or not. That girl got the gift #Marco living a life Jean would be proud of <3 #Also Marco seeing the same exact illusion like Jean saw in canon and being like 'I'm right. Jean was born to be a great leader. I must #follow that path' then joining the Survey Corps because it felt right to do #The amount of times Marco has to stop himself from acting as Titan bait is ridiculous

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shizekarnstein · 5 months

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maybe someday ill get tired of so much fandom discourse and leave my own rant here but i can't understand why it is necessary to have one rn?? If you see something you dont like just block the content tag/blog and be on your merry way its a waste of time to spend so much energy thinking about what others are up to (of course as long as its not a fucking crime bc sadly the internet's full of real life scum). But like... why are you all doing this to yourselves. srsly. just block the ppl who bother you.

also i feel 100% comfortable with my own reading experience and what i like and not. and at the end of the day the only opinion i care about while engaging with something its my own, and regarding kuro my relationship with the source material and its shortcomings is good. my own moral compass is at peace. what more can i ask for?

#kuroshitsuji #yeah i dont vibe with sebaci*l bc bait or not involving a sa child survivor in a ship its a big wtf ew no for me #hence i block the tag so i dont have to see it. id like to thank them for tagging their shit!!! good fandom etiquette.#but im tired of seeing one sided discussions on my tumblr like agdhdh pls just agree to ignore each other #yeah i hate that ship but i also think dadbastian is stupid ahdhdj i am literally a loner in this fandom i just can't have fun at all #to be fair to them tho yeah i find dadb annoying but at least it doesnt make me scrunch my nose in distate so it is easier to ignore #actually i have a mental essay on why those two lectures about kuro exist and why both sides hate the other so much #but as i said lately i find all things discourselike annoying #im just a woman reading my angsty story about a freudian pact back in victorian england and i have fun ( i suffer) monthly thanks to it #so the fandom takes have lil to no effect on my enjoyment of the manga

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supersoldiervigilante · 13 days

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bby ur too old to still be having all those pronouns

You're right. Once we reach 25 we should stop having any pronouns at all and be referred to solely by name.

#thanks kind stranger I've never gotten bait before take my updoot sir

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lazarish · 10 months

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No wait I want all the backstories in every AU pls

Well if you INSIST

School AU:

This is basically a kdrama

Misty's parents die in an accident caused by the Sage corporation, she gets a full ride scholarship to the country's best high school so she doesn't go to the media (so she's orphaned at 16 instead of as a child)

Ends up in a love triangle between the heir of the Sage group and "King" of the school, Nadir, and the son of the Sage group's biggest rival, Atlas, who has just returned from ✨abroad✨ after some scandal no one will talk about

Selene is initially a bystander when her classmates bully Misty but eventually she stands up for her and uses her own reputation to protect her new friend

The only kdrama in history where she ends up with the second lead

Was nadir inspired by Gu Jun Pyo? We may never know

Historical AU:

Setting: a nation on the verge of a revolution

Misty goes to the castle to become a maid in hopes of making a better life for herself, ends up befriending the sheltered princess and helping her understand how bad things are for the kingdom

Things get complication when the revolution infiltrates the palace in the form of the formerly exiled (Im gonna say Duke? Hell if I know how royalty works) Atlas

Nadir probably gets guillotined, sorry kit

Idol AU:

This was the song stuck in my head when I was doing their outfits

Misty and Selene debut together in a group that's named after butterflies somehow because I have a brand™

Atlas and Nadir were in the same group but Atlas got kicked out (probably because of Nadir)

Misty eventually steps away from the spotlight and produces for Selene

Selene just. Becomes berry IU because that's what she deserves.

Vanilla AU:

It's just the same. Genuinely it's just the same. They might have different names?

You can take the girl out of the pink but you can't take the pink out of the girl

Cyberpunk AU:

This one would need the most worldbuilding but I imagine it's the same berry world just a few hundred years in the future

Selene's family is extremely rich and influential, so she lives completely sheltered and ignorant of what the world is really like- until one day she accidentally sees her brother's files and realizes she isn't really Selene Elysian

The real girl died young because of a genetic disease, and she's a highly advanced robot created to replace the real daughter so no one ever knows.

She has an identity crisis, runs away, and is taken in by Misty who at this point is making a living off salvaging valuable materials from discarded tech

Misty teaches Selene about the outside world, and together they realize that Selene can do a lot more than any other robot on the market, meaning her family is hiding some kind of dangerous and advanced technology

I'm not good at making pets in the sims but you get the Vibes

Selene is the fluffiest possible cat

Misty is a King Charles Cavalier because my friends have a cute KCC named Nell and she's one of my favourite creatures

I genuinely had more ideas for this edit but I had to stop myself lmao, I could spend forever dressing up my girls and giving them happy endings

#asks #laby extra #technically #thank u for taking the very obvious bait sam ily #if i ever say oh but ill spare you the essay in the tags it means i have the essay ready and i want someone to ask lmfaoooo #when i have more time ill probably make more edits for these aus bc why not #both want to finish this legacy and want to just pull a lacelot and make a million aus of just these two #yeah altas and misty are cute but we all know who i really cared about

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corntort · 6 months

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really struck gold here with the hylics av enjoyer blog

ANYWAY now I was looking at timeline stuff. Av1 takes place 2005 and post. So feasibly trace could have played shadow the hedgehog 2005 upon release

HAHAHA this. this. he's also just on obscure geocities sites and forums and stuff and he argues on reddit when its fresh on the block to randos over science concepts. everyone knows its him he's on his shit ass computer on the clock passing the lulls with internet debate.

#i know his ass falls for ragebait or people being dumb for the bit #he's definitely the guy going 'erm sharks are actually quite rough and not smooth' and just keep taking the bait #ask #rambles #anonymous #also thank you so much MWAUUURR !#trace av #axiom verge

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fictionadventurer · 1 year

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If you happen to want to tell us about General McClellen (and/or William and Frances Seward), I'd enjoy that! I've been so interested by your history posts lately, especially about Zachary Taylor.

General George McClellan. Or as I like to call him...

I won't tell you what I call him because I cannot refer to this man without descending into vulgar profanity.

I'm going to be light on exact facts and details here, because most of his maddening characterization comes from an audiobook that I can't easily reference. And the point of this rant is not to teach you facts, but to let you know that his personality drives me absolutely up the wall.

So, to understand how this guy was able to wreak as much havoc as he did, you have to know that the US did not have a great army when the Civil War broke out. The only war since 1814 had been the Mexican-American War, and the army used there was nowhere near on the scale of what they'd need to fight this war. 30-40% of the West Point graduates were loyal to the South, and even though the North had greater numbers of trained officers, they had to use most of them to man outposts across vast territories, while the South was able to have every single one of their trained officers leading active troops. The Union just plain did not have men with the training and experience needed to lead a large army.

The best general they had was General Scott, who had led the US forces during part of the Mexican War. Unfortunately, he was super old. Barely able to walk, much less ride a horse and lead troops into battle. He had to work entirely from an office, and that wasn't a great way to lead the army. So Lincoln brought in George McClellan--a 34-year-old West Point graduate who'd had success in the West--to work under him as a sort of assistant general. McClellan seemed like an ideal choice. He was young and impressive-looking, inspiring tons of confidence in the people who saw him. Unfortunately, he bought into the propaganda. He was convinced that he was the divinely-appointed savior of the Union, and then let his immense ego drive all his decisions.

This guy was a toxic narcissist obsessed with power and glory and honor and willing to do nothing to deserve it. It's almost hilarious how much of a contrast there is between him and Grant and Lincoln. They could be characters in a fable. Lincoln was willing to take blame upon himself rather than let others suffer attacks; McClellan would scramble to blame everyone except himself. Grant supposedly showed up to his army camp with only a spare shirt, a toothbrush, and a hairbrush; McClellan famously required six wagons pulled by four horses each to carry all his luggage from his home to the military camp. In his months of delay at the camp near Washington, he would host dinner parties for the officers every night with oysters and champagne.

He was so combative with Scott that Scott finally decided to retire, leaving McClellan as the sole head of the army. When Lincoln would come by army headquarters for meetings, McClellan would make the president of the United States wait downstairs rather than come down to see him (and then complain to his wife that the president took up his time with meetings). He would never, ever take the blame for any mistakes, always blaming the president or Congress for not giving him enough troops or equipment, even though they repeatedly told him that they were providing as much as they possibly could.

He was in charge of the Army of the Potomac, which was supposed to protect Washington from the Confederate troops that were right on their doorstep. Yet McClellan kept troops in camp for months rather than going after the enemy. At first, this was understandable--you have huge numbers of recruits coming in who have never had any military experience before; you need time to conduct drills and teach them how to use equipment. But even after they were trained, McClellan kept delaying. He kept wildly overestimating the number of soldiers in the enemy camp, and insisting that he needed more equipment and more soldiers before he could attack. People were like, "Please attack before the Confederates have a chance to bring in more troops." McClellan did not attack. Lee brought in more troops. Then McClellan justified this by saying, "Well, the more troops they bring in, the more complete our victory will be when we destroy them." Finally, Lincoln was like, "You absolutely must attack within a week." McClellan delayed for a month. When he finally attacked, the Confederates got wind of it and were able to abandon camp before the Union army arrived. When McClellan's got there, they found that the intimidating array of cannons that the army had feared facing were a bunch of logs painted black.

The Quaker Gun incident, as it came to be called, was hugely embarrassing for McClellan. Congress started demanding that Lincoln replace him. Lincoln's like, "Who do you suggest I replace him with?"

"Anybody," a senator muttered.

"Anybody may do for you," Lincoln shot back, "but I must have somebody."

McClellan was able to coast by for a ridiculously long time in his position just because there was no one Lincoln could be certain was qualified to replace him. The men did seem to like him, and Lincoln was hesitant to remove a commander who had the loyalty of his men and who knew the terrain.

His entire military career was just cycle after cycle of this:

Lincoln: Please attack the enemy.

McClellan: It's not my fault. You guys won't give me enough men and weapons.

The War Department: Here are more men and weapons.

McClellan: [loses battles, fails to pursue the enemy after victories, etc.]

Congress: This guy has to go.

Lincoln: I'll give you one more chance.

McClellan: [preening] I am the only person in the world who can save this country.

Finally, finally, finally Lincoln gave him one absolute last chance to prove himself, and when McClellan failed to pursue Lee's forces after the Battle of Antietam in 1862, Lincoln removed him from command.

But this guy wasn't done being a thorn in Lincoln's side.

As if the years of insult and insubordination weren't enough, McClellan became the Democratic candidate who ran against Lincoln in the 1864 presidential election. It looked a bit rough for Lincoln for a while, because people were getting tired of the war, but fortunately, the new commanders of the army had several key victories before election time that swung popular support back to Lincoln, so that McClellan only got 21 electoral votes to Lincoln's 212. (That was a particularly satisfying victory for me to hear about.)

This man is just so maddening--a proud, conceited, cowardly glory-seeker who is blind to all of his flaws. He is my new historical archnemesis.

#history is awesome #presidential talk #maltheniel #thank you for taking the bait #seward will get his own post because he deserves one #also i do have more zachary taylor facts because i've started grant's memoirs #and i highlighted every single mention of taylor #because i've adopted him as my special project now #(i don't even care all that much about him but i feel like i've got a bit of a brand going here)#(he was the first non-famous president to catch my attention and that means i'm a bit attached)

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