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#She could tell right away
twpsyn-who · 21 days
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Soulmate AU in which when you touch your soulmate you swap bodies. It needs to be skin on skin contact and is instant. The only way to get back in the previous body is to touch again, otherwise you're stuck like that.
No matter the body all psychological and physical damage stays with you. That means if you get hurt then swap bodies, you will still feel it despite no longer having the wounds. This is only the case of existing wounds prior to swapping ; if new wounds happen to the hurt body after the swap you won't feel them, but the person in the body when it happens will. A very complicated way of saying that you can't get away from pain by swapping bodies with your soulmate as it will follow you.
There's no known consequences to not changing bodies back once swapped, though some might get sick for a few days after swapping back if they waited a long period of time to change back (say over a month, even longer depending on individual)
Now this but, you know... JeanMarco. And of course they find out during their time in the 104th Training Corps, because there's no way their skin didn't touch at least once in +3 years of training and being as close as they are. It isn't until break when they're able to visit home that they learn what it truly means ; up until that point they used it to swap chores (is the only reason why Jean didn't try to kill Eren during their shared chores- because it was actually Marco all along). At that point they knew each other perfectly.
Of course the whole situation was a little bit awkward for both of them when returning. They probably would end up avoiding each other for a bit because teenager boys and stuff, all until someone finally got the guts to mention the tension and ask them what's wrong- which forces them to talk and stuff. Doesn't matter, this is not what I want to talk about.
But the beautiful battle of Trost and what if, hypothetical speaking of course, they touch skin after Jean gets another ODM? And they're so used with each other by now, they don't even notice until the mission is nearly done anyway. And I don't know man, the idea of Jean dying while in Marco's body? Marco (in Jean's body) saying "I need to find Marco" once the mission is a success and research for his soulmate, just for him to not find him?? Not find him until 3 days later when some of them are assigned cleaning duty in Trost and he finds his own fucking body bitten in half???
The realization that it should've been Marco who died that day, but didn't because he was in Jean's body. The realization that not only his soulmate is dead, but he's stuck living his life. He's stuck living the life Jean can't because he died in Marco's place.
SEEING YOUR DEAD SOULMATE EVERYDAY WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR. Poor Marco would most likely avoy any reflective surface for a very long time, unable to see Jean's face looking at him.
The guilt of lying to everyone, because how does one even begin to explain what's going on? Him lying to Jean's mother to protect her from the harsh truth of the reality- that her son actually died and the one in front of her was a fake.
And the sad truth is that no one would notice because they've been doing it for months already. They knew how to act like each other to perfection. Even if Marco slipped at some point no one would question it because they got many traits from each other already.
#Ok Armin might notice at some point. But I think somewhere later in the series#And only because of something extremely trivial like idk man Jean thanking Eren for something like#You heard of twins switching lifes now I present to you soulmates doing the exact thing but there's no turning back from it#Don't we all love the swapping bodies trope?#Marco crying when he learns of how Jean truly died because //he only got killed because they thought he was Marco//#With the amount the angst thrown at him Marco might as well just stay dead#anyway#aot#jean kirstein#jeanmarco#aot jean#marco bodt#marco bott#aot marco#jean kirschstein#soulmate au#JeanMarco Soulmates AU#Because there's a weirdly big lack of this trope for them and they deserve more#Hey hey. Is just a little scenario. There's 100% a lot of fluff going on during their training days#Lots of shenanigans too while learning to be comfortable in each other's body and stuff. And The Talk man#Everyone remembers that week in which Jean and Marco avoided each other like the worst week of their life#And some watched loved ones get eaten by titans man like it was THAT bad#Shadis was this 🤏🏻 close to starting an intervention because he wasn't paid enough to put up with whatever was going on#Oh nvm Ymir probably knew but that girl knew a lot of shit and said nothing so it doesn't matter. What's another secret added to the pile?#She could tell right away#Ymir takes one look at you and can tell immediately if you're gay or not. That girl got the gift#Marco living a life Jean would be proud of <3#Also Marco seeing the same exact illusion like Jean saw in canon and being like 'I'm right. Jean was born to be a great leader. I must#follow that path' then joining the Survey Corps because it felt right to do#The amount of times Marco has to stop himself from acting as Titan bait is ridiculous
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itsalwaysforyou · 4 months
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hold me together.
kenny ortega, descendants 2 / holly black, red glove / nicole homer, underbelly / ada limon, a new national anthem / k c cramm, christmas eve forever / kenny ortega, descendants 3 / the crane wives, curses / silas denver melvin, let dead dogs lie / natalie wee, least of all
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cannot stand it when i see posts saying orym could/can only ever have concrete conversations about himself and his feelings with either dorian or ashton or that they're the only people that would understand what he's going through. asides from the Women Just Don't Get It-ness of it all, like:
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i rest my case
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nadiaerre · 1 year
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ekingston · 8 months
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Apart from show canon, at which point did u think it was too late for lena's immediate forgiveness to kara's identity reveal
oh boy. anon, here is where i come clean about my shoddy recollection of canon’s chronology. i’ve done so many fragmented rewatches and skipping back and forth—there’s a reason i rarely dabble with canon-adjacent stuff! and that even when i do, i create worlds where Lena figures it out herself! 
second road bump to answering this question is that i have a LOT of feelings about how things played out on the show, and most of them are incongruent with the tone of sgcw. i understand their narrative reasons for keeping the secret from Lena for so long! but the execution is so, so terrible! ignoring large swathes of canon and replacing them with my own is the only way i’m able to enjoy at least the last tiny handful of seasons!
here is where i spend an hour procrastinating from my WIPs, while not successfully answering your question at all:
to be perfectly clear: i adore most parts of canon Kara. and i think i may be hard on her in ways i wouldn't be if i didn’t relate to her so much. i think her backstory is extremely compelling and i admire her ability to hold on to her kindness and hope and joy even after losing everything that was important to her, even when she’s tired and lonely and mad. 
BUT. a healthy Lena—one who we were made to believe was finally freeing herself from Lex and Lillian, rising above the coping mechanisms she’d developed as an unwanted and emotionally neglected child? i don’t think that Lena would (should?) have forgiven canon Kara at all.
after the rift, canon Kara flitted between telling Lena she’d lied to her ‘to protect you’ to ‘one person who sees me only as Kara’ to ‘your last name’ to ‘didn’t want to lose you’ until she literally told Lena she was on her own, and she’d treat her like any other villain until Lena repented, even rejecting her apology at first, as if Kara’s own decisions had played no part in Lena’s downward spiral at all.
the Kara Lena would have forgiven is the much more cohesive and coherent Kara brought to us by our talented fix-it writers: a Kara who is willing to let herself be vulnerable and to second-guess her motivations, one who is able to put together a proper apology and actually listen to Lena's own. 
but, okay, lets table all of that. this is me trying really, really hard to entertain canon:
Kara and Lena’s friendship became painfully lopsided by season 3. i think that was, if i recall correctly, when the super-friends decided to trust Lena enough to regularly ask her for assistance—but not enough to let her be part of their in-group; it’s where they left Lena in the dark about the fact that her best friend had come close to plunging to her death right in front of Lena's eyes, and was actively still fighting for her life; where they tricked Lena into having an extremely personal conversation with J’onn, while he was wearing Kara’s features, only to make belly-laughing fun of her about it later. 
and even then, honestly, it might already have been too late. what about the aftermath of Jack’s death? was that season 2? Jack was Lena’s ex-everything, someone who genuinely loved her, who saw her through the fallout of Lex’s arrest. he was one of her last remaining friends, and Lena pressed the button to let him die in order to save Supergirl’s life. how would Lena knowing that Kara went through that with her, knowing Lena had chosen to save the life of her favorite person in addition to National City’s hero, have changed the way she felt about that horrible situation? that’s where that extremely wonderful heart-to-heart on the L-Corp couch happened, right? Kara swore she’d always be Lena’s friend—while keeping silent about the fact that she was there when Jack drew his last breath, that she had witnessed their final moments.
so—i really can’t tell you anon, i’m so sorry. the 100th episode already fabricated reasons why Kara couldn’t possibly come clean to Lena back when she made the conscious decision to be her friend (and not in a ‘keep your enemies close’ kind of way!), and i’m beginning to think that was the only moment Kara could have told Lena that would have kept her conscience completely clear. Kara should have made it part of her decision—either she was going to be Lena’s friend and give her the same trust Lena was giving her, or she would keep things professional, and keep her identity a secret from her. 
Kara tried to do both, and if i really think about it, i don’t believe that was ever fair.
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da-proti-toku-grem · 23 days
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how do you know the difference between a huge anxiety attack and a panic attack?
#i think i had a panic attack yesterday but idk......#god it felt so awful and it went on for like 3 hours#but i also had like a hundred things going on so idk if it was like the accumulation of everything or if it was really a panic attack yk#i was at the fair with my family waiting for my best friend to arrive bc i was going to hang out with her#and yk it's a place full of people and we were standing right next to a huge speaker hearing a man talk#and also each place in the fair has different music playing super loud and you can hear all of them at the same time (+ the flashing lights#all that causes me anxiety every since i was little (even if i didn't know it was anxiety back then)#so i *knew* i was going to have the greatest time and i didn't really want to go there in the first place#but even with that i wasn't really haven't a bad time (yet)#we were just stading there and i was waiting for my friend to call me so we could go somewhere else#she called me to tell me she was coming and right when i hung up the phone i felt a really strong pang on my belly#and idk at first i thought it was period cramps but it was weird bc my period had actually stopped that same morning#also i had taken a painkiller right before going there bc all that i mentioned earlier also gives me migraines so there's that too#so yeah the pangs kept getting stronger and it hurt so fucking bad to the point my legs started trembeling#my vision blured and every sound around me seemed to almost fade away#there wasn't any place i could sit down so i gad to cling to my dad and he had to hold me so i didn't fall to the ground#i think i almost (?) fainted in his arms too#after a while the dizzines went away and my dad went to get me smth to drink and i mostly got my hearing and vision back to normal#all that was like 10 minutes max but then the pangs kept hitting every minute or so for the next 3 hours#we found a place to sit and find smth to eat but i couldn't eat anything without wanting to throw up#my legs wouldn't stop shaking like fucking crazy and i kept going from feeling like i was freezing to sweating from how hot i felt#idk i've had smth like this (w/o the pangs) happen to me before a bunch of times but never That strong and it usually lasted 5-10min max#we ended up having to go home and i had to take some more painkillers and my sleeping pills to be able to calm down a little#i'm pretty sure i fell asleep from exhaustion after everything and i'm still feeling a bit weird after almost 24 hours since it happened#anyways. the thing is idk if all that was caused bc of my anxiety#or if it was smth completely unrelated and i just had such a bad tummy ache that it made me feel bad enough to cause All That yknow#i think it felt pretty much like how i've heard people describe a panic attack but again i'm not sure#yeah.........#maca speaks
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lionydoorin · 1 year
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Do you think Tara eventually starts forgetting Amber's details? The sound of her voice, the color of her eyes, her favorite song.
Obviously you don't just forget someone you loved that much, but it's been a year since Tara has seen or heard Amber, plus all the traumatic memories she has attached to her.
Could you imagine if Tara's brain started blocking Amber out as a trauma response?
WEEPS.
eough. totally. tara's brain altering some memories or blocking them as a trauma response. EOUGH.
it starts with simple things, the kind of simple that tara wouldn't worry about at first. a song that would always make her think about amber suddenly not making her want to cry as much. that story she told her once during a sleepover suddenly fading away from her mind. amber was allergic to something in this meal, what was it?
forgetting these things gave her a certain relief, somehow. amber was a complicated subject. she didn’t know how she was supposed to feel, and the thought of her was always too painful, too scary. so, maybe these small details weren’t meant to be stored in her mind, the ghost of her best friend (the person who tried to kill her) finally deciding to rest and let her be.
so, if tara couldn't remember the name of amber's childhood pet, she wouldn't bat an eye. if her tumblr username didn't cross her mind, it would be fine, because it meant she wouldn't wanna check it out once more, like it's amber's own personal diary.
even if it the idea of forgetting it made her anxious. even if not thinking about her hurt as much as thinking about her.
her dreams became more and more jumbled after that, psychedelic counterparts to the very real memories her brain decides to play on repeat as soon as she closes her eyes.
amber seemed more strange with every night: hands a little rougher than what she remembers when her mind replays her choking her neck, face more, and more, and more distorted as she burns alive. sometimes she was taller than she actually was, other times, she seemed shorter than tara. she never used these rings, and what was that pendant on her necklace? her eyes didn’t seem her own, her hair was somehow not right. didn’t she have a beauty mark somewhere on her face? i could swear her smile was different. why does everything seem so wrong?
i’ll make it quick, the person in her dreams would say as it places tara in the closet, voice just not quite right, tying her body instead of just her hands. wasn’t it different? is this what actually happened? i promise, tara. i'll end her and come back for you. i'll take care of you.
(she never said that.
did she say that?
what did she say, anyway?)
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> be a robin buckley fan
> be lesbian
> project on robin
> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic
> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve
#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!''#i have several grips about that interpretation#going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply)#to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take#a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his#inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect#him to be that smart#but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way#it fine#what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao#who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3)#3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too#like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's#rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc#the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved 😭#also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw#unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it)#like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her.#she's his friend.#but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones#where's the love for my babygirl 😭😭#anti steddie#not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone#edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel#drowned in st3ddie posts#like something isn't right here
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alexkablob · 6 months
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Other favorite bits from the Dorley reread: Lorna's Paranormal Investigator Arc™
#tfw you're the only normal trans girl in a story about a forcefem kidnapping ring#and you're dating your ''cis'' girlfriend who gets you hormones ''from the internet''#and slowly noticing how there's things she's not telling you and how her and her friend group are all weird about the same things#and then one day your girlfriend's equally cis friend is tired and distracted and asks your girlfriend if she can use some of her ''pills''#and they both briefly freeze and then awkwardly smooth the interaction over but you KNOW#your whole social circle is trans people you go to trans rights rallies on the regular you KNOW that social interaction#you know this cis girl just asked your cis girlfriend if she could borrow some of her estrogen and what the FUCK#and all the little things are adding up and you start digging and they're all connected to this one dorm on campus--#and IS MY GIRLFRIEND IN A CULT???#WHAT IS HAPPENING#you're infiltrating this incredibly foreboding institution and all these girls are smiling too evenly at you and trying to steer you away#and IS THIS THE STEPFORD WIVES??? ARE THEY GOING TO HUMAN SACRIFICE ME??? WHAT IS GOING ON#because that's what Dorley is like looking in from the outside#and then all the while you see from the other PoVs what she's up against:#just the stupidest most neurotic group of codependent trans girls who are flailing rapidly in a comedy of errors#trying to figure out how to tell you the truth without you freaking out#or without it sounding stupid as hell#they're so fucking stupid Lorna I cannot emphasize enough what a pack of idiots these girls are it is NOT a slick operation#dorleyposting
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morning toddheads
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rexscanonwife · 1 month
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Grrggh...good morning everypony = w = I rewatched the episode of the ppg reboot where Utonium gets a girlfriend...
#jane journals#self insert talk#🔬 starkissed scientist 🔬#i woke up at 5 in the gah damn morning and MY HEADPHONES are gone so im gonna have to ride the bus w/o them >:[#hell on earth 10 dead 4 missing!!!#and i choose to do this before i go ajfjg#anyways this sucks#like im not bothered by love interests but this whole reboot is ass and the characters are badly written#but theres like....at least one or two cute moments where utonium is smooth with it >//<#it cant even get the FIRST THING RIGHT ABOUT HIM THO#in literally THE FIRST EPISODE he says that spiders creep him out and they basically just. not even ignore but contradict it entirely#for why? the purpose of this ep where the love interest studies spiders and turns into one ig#they could say that hes PRETENDING to like them because he likes her. but they didnt do that#ALSO why spider? why not werewolf? that would be hot#and the love interest is that bland brand of 'adorkable' thats so disingenuous#on the other hand i DO like spiders. and the way she talks to one and like treats it like a pet...yeah id do that ._.#and idk they always write utonium as way more harsh than he'd usually be especially with bubbles#he wouldnt tell her shes being SELFISH by not wanting to give away her last piece of popcorn to a spider#especially when she barely got any#maybe he'd remind her that its GOOD to be generous BUT NOT CALL HER SELFISH#but yeah....theres maybe a moment or two 😒#like when his love interest spoils a whole MOVIE for the girls and ofc theyre upset#but he holds her face and says 'everything i need to see is right here'...>//<#THAT was smooth#and idk they don't play with the idea of the girls wanting to break them up ENOUGH#they just write one fake email and its done. then spider reveal#it sucks maybe i shouldnt have started my day this way 😂😂😂#whatever hopefully work is good!!#and i always have og utoniom to think about 🥺👉👈💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘
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satans-knitwear · 2 months
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Back to the vets today, emergency appointment, she had a horrible night 😢😭
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coquelicoq · 3 months
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real-life adulting, man. i'm still my ex's emergency contact 6.5 years after we broke up and he just gave me his new girlfriend's phone number so that i can contact her if something happens to him. this is in lieu of making her his emergency contact, which may seem like it would make more sense, except that he hasn't told his parents about her. so i get to be the emergency contact who then would contact both the girlfriend and the parents. this all makes total sense to me despite the fact that i don't even live in his city. it's whatever! we've known each other a long time!!
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crowrelli · 5 months
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#vent tw#death mention tw#okay I need to post this bc I’m. going to explode into a million shattered parts if I don’t#my grandmother on my moms side who lived with us my whole teen years. who I helped care for. passed last night before I could go visit her#and instead of IDK FUCKING CALLING ME TO TELL ME my estranged idiot sister just texts me basically ‘Oop she died 🤪’#what the actual fuck#I deserve to hear from our mom? I deserve to hear like the rest of the fucking family?#my cousin did it right and said ‘call your mom’ but you just fucking take it on yourself?? how inconsiderate and conceited to take that away#how little do you see of me to not show basic fucking compassion??#I will never not hold this with me every time I think of my grandmothers passing#I’m a fucking adult. I’ve lived on my own for 3 god damn years. and yet you can’t extend me the BASIC FUCKING RESPECT of letting me find out#the RIGHT WAY#I broke my no contact out of respect for my grandma. I promised to walk into a house I was fucking prisoner in half my life.#I looked past my pain and my trauma out of basic fucking human decency and she couldn’t wait a few hours to let the news reach me properly#and before I can even say my goodbyes she’s gone and this is how you tell me??#she KNEW I was in contact with our mom again#she KNEW#I lived with grandma I HELPED TAKE CARE OF HER#I picked her off the floor when she fell I made her food when she was hungry I READ HER BOOKS WHEN HER HANDS SHOOKTOO BAD#I knew they were monsters but are you fucking kidding me?? this is so so low I’m in fucking shock#I thank my partner and their family every fucking day for teaching me what real love is#because after you live your whole life trying to love people who are only playing roles for the sake of appearance you can never go back to#the cold lifeless greyscale power plays they call unconditional love#god I just#I’m just so fucking tired
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lonesome-pear · 5 months
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Rest in peace Jellie
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septimus-heap · 9 months
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Thinking abt the time travel fix it fic I have spinning around in my head. Unfortunately for it to work I have to kill off basically every single character of importance which is all well and good it just feels kind of brutal
#sep talks#septimus heap#like basically all the heap brothers die in mysterious accidents. Right up to the last couple who r just obviously shot#jenna dies in almost the same way her mother did. In the throne room and marcia and septimus r there and an assassin shows up#silas+sarah also. Why?? Idk maybe it's a birthday. Maybe it's bc they're trying to figure out how to keep septimus safe bc logically#he's next. But anyway this assassin is a little sneakier than the one that shot alther. No one sees them until the last second#sarah takes a bullet for jenna. It doesn't help bc jenna gets shot anyway a second later. Marcias in a panic trying to#get silas+septimus away. Silas refuses to leave bc he's basically lost everyone he loves most#he tells marcia he'll deal with the assassin when her shield goes down. And so she practically drags septimus away so at least she can#keep him safe#and. Bc there's no queen anymore. DD takes over. Marcia still has the amulet but they have no real way to get rid of dd#marcia very nearly ends up back in dn1 at one point. Like literally standing on the edge abt to fall#they keep trying to fix things but they just. Can't. Ppl end up seeing marcia as like. Not necessarily the eow who Failed#but she couldn't stop him from showing up so what could she possibly do now#it's more pity than blame and honestly to marcia that's worse#ppl keep dying and it's so much worse than when the custodian was in charge#and anyway yeah that's what makes marcia+septimus go for the house of foryx
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