#and that i shouldn't post writing meme questions

[thegirl20]

19 and 25 for the writer ask thing! 💌

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I started writing stories when I was a child, just for fun. (I once wrote about people hunting for wild haggis.) Then I started to write scripts and outlines for my friends to adhere to when we were playing with dolls or when we were acting out imagined scenes from Neighbours (the Australian soap).

Looking back, this may have been an early indicator about my tendency to want to take over so that other people can't take things in directions I don't want them to go in. *cough*controlfreak*cough*

In terms of fan fiction, I discovered it through the Xena and Buffy online fandoms. I had never heard of it before. This would've been late 90s and I would have been in my late teens. My first foray that I was brave enough to publish was a Charmed/BTVS crossover about Willow being possessed by a demon and the Charmed Ones having to save her. I'm sure it was terrible but I'm too embarrassed to even look. I wrote for a while in the BTVS and Popular femslash fandoms, but stopped when I left uni. I didn't really write again until I was about 26 and Desperate Housewives came onto the scene. Bree and Lynette reawakened my desire to write stories in between the bits we saw on TV and I've really never stopped writing since then. I've had fallow periods in that time, which in some cases have lasted years, but I've written pretty consistently.

Where I am now is that I'm still writing fan fiction here and there where something takes my fancy. My output has slowed down considerably from the mad days of early Vanity - my most productive fandom by miles and miles - but I still churn out the odd wee thing when I'm caught up by an idea.

I've never had any desire to write for anything other than pleasure, and never had delusions that I'm good enough to, so I'm quite happy where I am 😊

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

I don't think I'm this kind of writer, to be honest. I'm fascnatd by people who can inhabit a character and give them an inner life beyond what we've been shown in the source material, but I don't think that's me. I come up with headcanons on demand, in that if someone asks me about an element of a character I've written or am writing, I will make something up about it on the spot because I've almost definitely never thought about it before in my life.

(I'm sure this isn't totally accurate btw, I'm sure that when I'm in the middle of writing things, I have ideas about characters' inner workings, but not to the point where I can call things to mind spontaneously!)

[olderthannetfic]

It's very exhausting seeing people in my fandom get angry that an author deleted his work prior to committing suicide. Everyone's sad they don't get to read the story. I have not seen a single person even pretend to dislike the fact that a person is dead. I have seen two people say, respectively, "he could've at least given us a content drop first, end on a high note" and "content creators who don't at least leave the content up shouldn't post".

And I know, I know, fandom olds: it is parasocial and toxic and bad to expect anyone online to dislike the death of another person, I'm a Gen Z snowflake, I need to grow up, etc. In my defense, I am neurodivergent and probably not seeing this correctly. But as an admittedly fucked up person... I kind of don't like 1. the fact that a human being died 2. no one even saying "oh that's sad" or feigning valuing human life 3. everyone referring to him not as an author but as a content creator and 4. the only thing I've seen people discuss is wanting content.

I don't really vibe with the concept that people in fandom are just content mills that exist to hand us content day in and day out and that's all that matters. This dude had whole conversations with people in the comments, he was really nice and gave people encouragement, commented on his readers' fics, and he never had an unkind word to say about anyone. He answered questions on his tumblr and always had funny, weirdly specific memes for everything. And some of the same super-distinct usernames I remember him interacting with are the ones complaining about content. Not writing, just content, that demeaning internet term that also applies to AI.

He was the one who inspired me to start writing and now I don't know if I want to post. I don't want to be seen as a content mill, a bot who spits out something to be consumed that's seen as more important than a person. I don't want to contribute to this weird culture where fiction matters more than reality.

Again: I know. Snowflake, Gen Z bad, fandom olds unbothered and cool, etc. But I never claimed to be cool. I just claim this is not how fandom should be. We should be hanging out, talking to and supporting each other. You don't have to be friends, but you should aim to not see art in terms of content creation and consumption.

IDK, I don't really think I'm explaining this clearly. I just feel like we should try to not be assholes.

--

Uh... that's not what parasocial means, you weirdo, and no fandom olds think it's in good taste to whine about somebody who committed suicide not going out on a high note.

Don't be an ageist twit when you're just repeating what anyone older would say.

I assume people are reacting this way because 1. people are jerks, duh and 2. they probably don't pay attention to internet acquaintances' "suicides" after way too many fake ones.

[blackstarchanx3new]

A messy FSR Art/writing contest

Finally decided on this haha.

We're doing a creative lil contest because me wanna see my boys.

There's two categories, art and writing. Since a lot of you guys are writers and I don't wanna leave ya out.

For the art side here's some suggestions:

You could do a panel redraw (There's 400 pages so that shouldn't be hard to find smth you like XD)

Do smth new art/comic wise with the characters.

Make memes (Not template ones you gotta draw it haha)

For the writing portion:

I'm open to virtually whatever. There's not really a specific length or writing style you gotta adhere too. You could make a script style thing if you want. Whatever floats your boat.

Scene rewrites or new content. I'd be interested what FSR fanfics would look like.

Only real rules are for this contest: All submissions must be SFW and must be submitted before the 1st of February. And you must reblog this post with said art and tag me so I see it.

Normally I wouldn't care what you make for this AU, do what you want, but for the contest specifically it must be SFW.

Prize would be doodle from me. Basically my commission rules would apply if you know them. SFW drawings only.

I think I'll max out at four winners. Depends on how many entries there are!

Two from writing and two from art at max.

You'd reblog this and tag me in the work.

I think it'll end by the first of next month hopefully that's plenty of time. ^w^

If you got any questions feel free to ask this is meant to be fun.

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

I think we need to clarify something. Everyone always says "I know notes and interactions don't matter but...."

No. Notes and interactions shouldn't matter. You should write/draw/create for the love of it, not for the recognition or love from others. You should post regardless of how your numbers compare to others. You should be fine with not receiving any asks praising your work or asking questions about it. That is how things should be.

But for most people, that's not really the case no matter how much they want it to be.

There is a reason we share our creations online and don't keep them in folders on our computers. We want to share what we create and have others enjoy it. We want people to make comments and reactions and share memes and freak out in the tags. We want to know that all the time and energy and love we put into our work is worth it. We want the motivation and encouragement to work on our next project.

And yes, it would be better to ignore all the numbers and comparisons to other blogs and we would all be happier if that was completely possible. However, it's extremely hard to do.

So don't beat yourself up for being disappointed because a fic flopped or your latest gifset or artwork wasn't a hit. It means you loved what you accomplished and wanted others to love it too.

But also know you are not alone. Notes and interactions don't always reflect quality so just because you didn't get the interactions you were hoping for doesn't mean your creation isn't any good. So keep going, keep creating, and keep in mind that even if only a handful of people interact with your post, it doesn't mean it didn't have a major impact on those people.

So while notes and interactions may feel like they matter, remember that you matter, your art matters, and the joy you bring to even a single person matters so much more. 💖

[shitpostingkats]

Question, what's your opinion of KH Missing Link so far :0?

I've actually been meaning to reach out to my followers about that.

Short answer: I just haven't been keeping up with kh like I used to. I actually have no opinion on Missing Link, because I have not played it.

Long answer: I downloaded Dark Road the week it came out and actually poured a huge chunk of hours into it, even though the gameplay got boring and it took my phone half an afternoon to download. Eventually, I dropped off, because the release schedule of new story updates could not hold the attention of my little adhd brain, and I would forget the game existed entirely. However, when the whole story dropped, I found I adored the writing of Dark Road. One of the best written games in the series, and I will die on that hill.

The worst and greatest thing about the series is it follows what I call The Kingdom Hearts Hyperfixation Quality Curve

The more fun a kh game is to play, the less it sticks in my brain like a foongus. The platonic ideal of a kingdom hearts game is one that has a fleshed out game system that is like a stim toy to the Gamer Brain, while still having a batshit insane enough story that you can talk about it for upwards of 300 hours and still not exhaust things to say about the plot.

I kinda assumed ML would be a lot like dark road, in that the story, once finished, will make me want to eat drywall, but slow to update. So I put the kh hyperfixation on the backburner until I could dive back into it full force.

But tumblr kh mobile game community, my beloved. I have been seeing some very good memes and unhinged rambles and I was actually meaning to make a post asking for the wisdom of my good good kh mutuals.

Is Missing Link good? Should I play it? If I shouldn't play it, is there somewhere where I can get story updates as they release? Or is this game just flat out fun and if so, what are some tips for someone just trying to get into it?

Both advice and vague fandom screaming equally appreciated!

[aussie-the-hedgehog]

Okay, I think I need to do this for myself.

I've been rewatching MHA to gear up for season 7. However, it seems I'm also watching to prove something to myself.

It's been nearly a year, and I still greatly struggle with shame of having Ochako as my favorite character. I realize this is a drawn out topic on this blog, but I must air this grievance for the good of my mental sanity.

I feel whenever I'm on Twitter, I see many brutally slander her character. I see criticisms that she has no use in the show. I have witnessed posts circled with threats concerning the topic. It is making me further question why I enjoy the character as much as I do.

To be frank, I care A LOT about what people think - honestly to a fault. I was verbally bullied as a kid for how I looked (I had buck teeth, glasses, and social struggles due to sensory disorders and autism). I struggled to fit in through my elementary and middle school days. I was labeled as "weird" and "a teacher's pet" just to name a couple. I always felt compelled to prove myself to fit in with the kids of my classes.

I also was made fun of for being a Dallas Cowboys fan. Granted, I live an hour away from Philadelphia, but I was picked on quite a bit for liking them.

One day after school in fourth grade, I was on a bus heading to a rec center for after care. The Cowboys were playing the Eagles the ensuing Sunday. If you know anything about the NFL, these two are bitter rivals. They absolutely hate each other. The bus driver was aware I liked the Cowboys. He decided to start a chant on the bus ride, "Dallas sucks!" all the way there to the rec center. All the kids jumped in without hesitation.

I was horrified. I broke down crying. I felt like in that one moment the world was against me. There was a kid sitting next to me who tried to comfort me by saying he's on my side rooting for Dallas. I appreciated his support, but in that moment I just wanted to get off the bus.

When I got off, my mom was waiting and saw me in tears. She scolded the driver for making me cry over a football game. The bus driver was fired the next day.

I will admit I have come to terms with the teams I like (it helps the Cowboys are a meme), but it's still difficult being honest with the things I enjoy. This is especially the case when it comes to the hopeful, compassionate trope in shows.

I look on social media sites such as Twitter. I see all these vitriolic comments directed toward those who enjoy Ochako for no reason. I feel I've been indirectly abused because I am a part of her fandom.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again - she follows the trope I like. She's the glue that keeps the group together. She's loving and kind to everyone she meets. I honestly see her as an honest to goodness daughter. You can call it weird if you want, but it's how I feel.

Now, you can look at all of this and conclude I shouldn't be on Twitter. That is totally fair. I do need to limit my time on social media. However, this remains discouraging in my life. I started watching MHA last February and this issue STILL remains. I'm ashamed for enjoying something morally okay since the fandom is extremely harsh concerning her.

I feel it has to do with my past in being criticized for what I enjoy and seeing the fandom crush anyone who likes the character. Both have come together in such overwhelming ways.

Another factor is one I've mentioned before. I am a guy and should be liking more masculine things. In no way should I be interested in female characters or how they give hope in dire predicaments. Yet, it's something I find admirable because that's just what I like. I have to be alright with that.

In no way am I victimizing myself. This is a grievance I've had to get out. The toxicity from the fandom and my own negative thinking have gotten to my head for me to at least put my fingers to the keyboard. Writing is a cathartic practice for me. Crafting pieces like this is extremely healthy for me.

There isn't much more to be said about why I like Ochako Uraraka. I've made several posts why. You can look at those if you're so inclined. All in all, I hope one day I can be confident in why I enjoy characters like her and not feel a need to care about what others think.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[iobartach]

GET TO KNOW YOUR ADMIN !!

name — Nix

pronouns — anything at all tbh, i don't mind!

preferred comms — leaning more towards discord than tumblr; i am just a slow replier / not available at times. so gimme a shout if you ever wanna share discord usernames!

name of muse — miguel o'hara / spider-man 2099

experience in RP — coming up fast on 18ish years this july, i think? 🥴tumblr's been the platform i've used the most, i came over from bebo, the original version, way back in the day, and also gave forum and discord server rps a go, but eh, i just like the format of tumblr more? especially for being able to make themes and stuff.

best experiences — fortunate to have had plenty of 'em! with miguel though, i have to say it's been especially fun? i really missed the whole aspect of meeting new people and crafting plots / crossovers when it comes to RP, as i had slowed down on writing for a while to get my career started. but now, i'm so glad to be back at it , more often!

pet peeves/dealbreakers — ahhh, let's see, i've gotten laid back af the longer i've been writing? the things that i appreciate nowadays are when folks take the time out to read over my guidelines, headcanons, bio (it's so poorly written, i am so sorry) etc, but i'm not gonna be a hardass about telling you to do so, either? like, someone taking the time to read my hcs is cool! going the extra mile and mentioning them in threads / plots? damn, kudos to you, i can't thank you enough! and if someone has any questions? my door's always open, i will ramble at you until the crack of dawn about miguel if you give me the chance 😂 but yeah with all that said, i'm not gonna hassle or bother folks if they don't read my stuff or ask me questions.!

that said, though, i do wanna point out that there are some specific things to my flavour of miguel that i'm trying to be consistent about? which, for anyone who's known me for years shouldn't be surprising to hear. i've been meaning to add them to my pinned post for my own / other's reference, and 100% accept that i don't call or jot them down as often as i should, it's all kinda just sitting in my head! oops!

and well... to that end, i'd also like to tentatively say... please don't automatically make assumptions / presumptions about my take on miguel, either? 🙏 yes, he's arisen from the atsv version, which i acknowledge can attract certain... notions. but, at the same time, please respect that he's not a soundboard or a thirst trap. he's a guy that, in my telling, fucked up, royally and is trying to deal with that, in his own way.

same also goes for no meaning no. both in-character and out-of-character. miguel will be blunt / react accordingly to things he doesn't vibe with (physical touch, dehumanising comments [deliberate or otherwise], etc), especially with strangers / unfamiliar people -- and for myself, i've been in enough rpcs for long enough to not allow myself to be strongarmed into doing certain things. i'd expand more about my previous experiences, but a munday post ain't the place for that, so yeah. i just would be grateful for any acknowledgement of this. all i wanna do is write one spidery guy, in relative peace, at my own pace & leisure. cheers !

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — i'm a glutton for a bit of everything, but i kinda lean lately more towards action and slice of life. fluff is good, but i try to approach it so that i don't overdo it -- same with angst, i thrive on it, but again, all things in moderation ! and of course, if mutuals ever feel like i'm leaning hard towards a particular genre (which i've a tendency to do!), feel free to pull me back a bit, i won't mind!

plot or memes — memes are the balm for my soul, i stg <3 i love how they can be icebreakers, as well as the perfect thing to spark some muse inspiration after spending the weekdays working. i do love to plot, too, and i've been thinking of doing a lot more of it lately, especially as i grow to learn about another mun's muse, but i'm also a bit of a slow burner when it comes to that, largely because of how much of my week is taken up by work (a blessing and a curse :() . so if you're fine with plots & long form threads progressing over months, absolutelyyy hit me up! 👀

long or short replies — cackling me + short reply is rarer than hen's teeth🤣 i can't do one-liners for the life of me, so you'll always get a small paragraph or two. i love doing long replies, especially if my writing muse is thriving, but never fear about matching reply length or anything! i just ... can't shut up, sometimes, lmao.

best time to write — weekdays are a huge hit or miss 🥴 sometimes, i'm able to write, more times, i'm not. so weekends, when i have the time to chill and relax, not stress about things, is when i find my motivation to write thrives the most

are you like your muse? — in one very specific way maybe; little patience for assholes 🤣 . i'd love to be able to take things on the chin, but eh, stupid stuff can get to me at times. if anything, i feel i'm more like miguel's brother gabriel, and i both love and work in tech rather than in science. worked a two-year stint in a medical corpo and i came out the other side vowing to never again do that. 🥴 i'd also love to be a smartass and have miguel's dry wit, but alas i'm just a funky irish potato.🤣

Tagged: @pzfr

Tagging: anyone who wants to steal this!

[kindness-and-friends]

//Heya. Mod here. I have good news and bad news

Good news is I'll be pretty blunt with the lore on the souls and stuff! Ask a question about it and I'll probably answer it

Bad news is this blog will be on hiatus :( ill finish the rps tho dw

To put it simply, drama and other projects I need to work on

To put it not simply (This shit is gonna be like a whole essay. Also i didnt proofread it cuz am lazy)

Reason 1: Drama- I honestly don't know what to feel. I started this blog thinking that i can interact with all the underblogs, whatever side they may be on. I kinda wanted this blog to be neutral because I was kinda inspired by underblog💛's. I enjoyed blogs like integrityvictim and such, and followed them (i went feral in some of the reblogs lol) completely aware they were against @/thehumanofjustice. Because I wanted this blog to be enjoyed and disliked by both sides. I wanted this blog to interact with both sides.

It started with incorrect pronouns. Then our small group of underblogs had a vote I wasn't involved in nor knew anything about and out of nowhere human is the 'leader' of the underblogverse. I never liked that idea and I expressed my feelings about it before. Luckily more people can join, but nobody has. I do like the concept of @/underblogmanagement, it's a way for people to interact with others and develop their blogs. But its too early. If anything it shouldn't be called that, it shouldn't have been introduced the way it was, and it shouldn't be made now. If we want to make something like this we have to make it bigger and have every single fucking underblog lend a hand.

I wanted to stop when I got the death threats. I thought that maybe, just maybe, it was a fan of the underblogs trolling, and it wasn't actual underblogs hating me. I still think it is. I also wanted to stop when the shipping got too bad. I didn't want this to be like @/undertaleolive that was known as nothing more than being Clover's 'girlfriend'. I don't get as much asks as I used to, and I know the lot of them are from thehumanofjustice or deputyclover (im not dumb.) The only time this blog can be serious is when I make it serious. I chose to let the anons kill Willow so it could be serious. I chose to let Clover kill Willow so it could be serious. I chose to give Willow those hallucinations and give Xeon a concussion so for once this blog wouldn't just be meme asks and roleplays with close friends of mine. I feel limited.

I think underblogmanagement is dumb. I think this rivalry is dumb. I think this blog is dumb. I think the creation of a whole new tag is dumb. I think the fact that only a portion of human's friends and followers is what makes up my follower count is dumb.

I wanted to be an underblog💛 with a story, not whatever the fuck I am now

Reason 2: Other projects - I'm giving the majority of my focus and motivation on this blog. Any motivation and creativity I have for art and writing gets thrown into here with no recognition. I have other things I need to place my focus on. As @/infinitrix, may know, I haven't updated my askblog in 2 months. Instead of drawing art for that blog, I'm drawing art for this one (only to get like 2 notes). Instead of writing dialogue and lore for that one, I'm writing it for this. If the only people who'll actually see what I post are my friends, I think this blog is nothing more than a waste of motivation. I need to focus on other things, and always worrying whether I have rps to finish or art to make isn't helping at all. The majority of art requests on my main are about this blog, too, and I want to work on art that isn't related to this. The only blogs whose lore I enjoy and would like to know more of are Whisper's, Winnie's, and maybe more that i don't interact with. I do think that if there's only a few people really trying to make their blog interesting while the rest is just shits and giggles, it's useless. I put together lore and relationships and art, and it hardly gets any notes. I can say the same for @/apatientwind who makes amazing art that doesn't get notes, and @/whisper-the-human (im eating your writing style ourgh. Keep up the good work :3). And yeah. Im giving up

I'll finish the last two rps I'm in and then leave. Don't try to start any new ones, I wanna make this quick

So I will finish what's unfinished, and possibly this will become a blog to ask about the lore. Maybe one day, when I figure everything out and have more motivation, I'll get back to this. But that won't be soon.

Ill be active on @goldeneclipsee if there are actually fans out there that arent my friends and moots.

Bye.

[rallamajoop]

The Mysterious Saga of Ethan Winters' Severed Leg

So, we all know Ethan has a hand stapled back on in RE7 ‒ and that by RE8, he's advanced to first-aid-fluid-ing his severed arms back on himself with hardly a second thought. It's long since become the stuff of memes by this point.

What I did not know was that there's a scene back in RE7 where Ethan reattaches his own severed leg the same way.

I mean, effin' hell, did the rest of you all know this? Why did you not tell me? I have played the shit out of both these games, and I had no idea! Goddamnit, I just got done posting fic which is basically one long, slightly-pornographic laundry-list of every memorably-horrific canonical injury that poor boy receives, and I missed something as big as this?

(Mine you, I do kind of love how screenshots make it look like "You can use this to fix your leg. You can do it!" is just the item text that pops up when you pick up your severed leg again ‒ it's not, it's dialogue, but my god the image.)

Okay, so. For the benefit of everyone as blindsided by this as me: details!

Ethan Loses His Leg is a scene most playing RE7 will miss, because it happens only if Jack catches Ethan while trying to sneak through the trap door in the pantry, whereupon he'll sever Ethan's lower leg with his spade (yikes). Having done this, Jack will step back, produce a bottle of first aid fluid, and helpfully inform Ethan he can use it to fix his leg ‒ which (if the player acts quickly enough to pick up both items) Ethan will do. I've got to say, Ethan's "What the fuck?" reaction at the end does not even begin to cover the WTFery on display here.

So this is how I found myself legitimately preparing to write meta on the narrative significance of how Ethan Winters can reattach his own leg in an optional scene in RE7, FML.

No, look, fuck it, let's do this. Okay.

A lot of the online discussion of this scene revolves around the question of why Jack would go out of his way to help Ethan reattach the same foot he (Jack) just sliced off. But I think this misses the point: Jack's ultimate goal here isn't to kill Ethan, it's to make him join the family (that he may inadvertently end up killing Ethan in the process is just the sort of tough love you can expect from Daddy Baker).

After all, Jack's perfectly happy to slice Lucas' arm off at his own dining table for a little misbehaviour ‒ why wouldn't he extend the same courtesy to his new 'son'? He's just trying to show Ethan all the crazy benefits he can look forward to as a new member of the Baker family!

The fact he lets Ethan think it's the magic-herb-juice doing all the work is probably just a bit of misdirection. Or maybe what's really in those bottles is some sort of fungal fertiliser. Or maybe this is all just the game doing a bit of extra tutorialising to make sure the player is fully aware of how important all that first aid stuff is going to be ‒ whichever you prefer.

But what really gets me is that there's a disturbingly-strong case to be made that this scene (optional as it may be) should be considered not just canon, but Important Canon. The apparently-burning question of how Ethan could just assume that a little first-aid-fluid will magically fix his severed arm in RE8 comes up most everywhere the game is discussed online ‒ well, here's your answer!

Why? Because he's done it before! How did he know to try it then? Well, Jack told him! And in a world which apparently experiences a major zombie virus outbreak every other week, and in a house where Ethan's already seen people survive some wild and crazy shit, why shouldn't he assume it's this magic-herb-juice that's doing all the work?

But wait, there's more! Because Jack can also slice Ethan's leg off during the boss fight in the slaughterhouse!

He isn't kind enough to hand Ethan some first aid fluid this time though ‒ playtime is officially over by Boss Battle #2.

But wait there's STILL more! Because, I shit you not, Ethan can also lose a leg to the blade-wielding moulded enemies in the game.

The moulded aren't so accommodating as to provide Ethan with first aid supplies either, though if you do bring your own though, they will stand politely back wait while you glue your foot back on, which is all you can really ask.

Don't stock up too much though: if your inventory is full, Ethan apparently won't have the space to pick up his own severed leg. Yep, the leg counts as a key item that will take up space in your inventory, because however insane you already thought this game was, it's even wilder than even that.

But this all stands to reason. Given that this may theoretically be the second (or even THIRD) time Ethan has now lost that leg, tutorial time is surely behind us. After all, Jack Baker can't be expected to go easy on you while you (ahem) find your feet indefinitely.

(Thank you, I'll be here all week.)

[elgascreamslikehell]

So, as long as i have insomnia (it's hard to find a mental issue I don't have rn, i mean I'm fucking Ash Ketchum but with mental issues instead of Pokemon's, catch them all, bitch)

I started a new story!

To basically scratch every itch i still have. I know basically all the main events in this story, i still can't decide if i want a happy ending or DEATH ANGST SUFFERING cause i love me some angst but i kinda want it to be nice in the very end? Somebody should be happy it's definitely not me then at least it should be my favourite fictional characters.

Anyway.

WIP WEDNESDAY!

‘Hey, Eddie!’, - Buck is smiling like today is not Monday. Buck really has this sweet smile which Eddie used to like… in the past. He remembers vividly the exact moment he decided he doesn't like this smile anymore. ‘She sees me’.  The exact moment his heart collapsed. Apparently though, ‘she saw him’ for not too long. For an even shorter period than Eddie himself tried - and hell he did try hard - to build something with Marisol which was obviously just a desperate attempt to distract himself from the sad truth. Where the truth was - he loved Evan fucking Buckley. His path to accept his queerness was hard enough. His path to accept that he is close to fail his friendship was brutal. He, anyhow, managed to deal with all of this. At least he was pretty sure he did. And now Buck just smiles at him. Like nothing even happened. Like he didn't smash Eddie's heart with three words. ‘Are you going with us to the bar after work? I want you all to meet someone!’. Eddie grins: ‘Of course. I hope it's nice someone this time’ To be honest, Eddie doesn't give a damn, who this person is. But he can play pretend perfectly. Even with Buck. Okay, especially with Buck. And where did 'you shouldn't pretend with me' go? *** ‘So, who do you think Buck would introduce?’, - Hen is pouring beer but she looks directly at Eddie. He doesn't like it though. ‘I have no idea…’, - and not that he wants to know. And why does Hen think he knows? ‘We haven't discussed his adventures much, so I'm in the same position as you are’ Hen's face is unimpressed: ‘Well, I hardly doubt it. I mean you and Buck…’, - Eddie interrupts her: ‘Are friends. Lately not even close ones i think… Why don't you ask Chim? He's his brother-in-law, he should know’ Hen stares at Eddie's face for a minute searching for something with no success: ‘Ok, if you say so’, - she's definitely not convinced but at least she stopped questioning him, switched to Chim. Apparently, he also doesn't know anything.  When Buck's entering the bar and Eddie sees him - his heart collapses again. It's getting annoying but he can't do anything with it. Because there's Buck, looking damn gorgeous, and… there's this guy, having his hand on Buck's waist. And Buck smiles. ‘So, guys… meet Sam!’ And here goes this specific pause when everything just stopps and all the sound go down, this pause needs to be broken immediately. And Eddie is the one who breaks it with: 'Well, better than I expected. Nice to meet you ', - and he is the first to shake this guy's hand. Right under the sympathetic glances of Hen and Chimney. Very sympathetic. Very uncomfortable.  He can manage this, right? He just has to.

I won't tag anyone cause today I feel like everyone hate me cause i hate myself but I'll be creating a taglist from interaction to this post.

I still write mostly because my mind needs to be away from reality, so I'll be writing anyway and spamming your feed so if it bothers you (i mean i mostly post writings and memes so i have some questions) you can ignore my writing tag.

[unfortunatelycake]

20 Questions Writer Meme

Tagged by @snarkivistfic ! Thank you!

How many works do you have on AO3? 173 across 3 pseuds

What's your total AO3 word count? 3,600846

What fandoms do you write for? At present, mostly TGCF with a little MDZS. Previously One Punch Man, boueibu, plus random other anime

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Anon One Punch Man, Genos/Saitama, Rated M Genos has feelings for his sensei, and blogs about it 100 First Kisses One Punch Man, Genos/Saitama, Rated E Like it says on the tin. This one's 100k. Found in Silence, These Things Unheard One Punch Man, Genos/Saitama, Rated M A getting together fic, based around Genos coping with temporary deafness. Foolish Pretenders Heaven Official's Blessing, Feng Xin/Mu Qing, Rated E Fake dating with added idiocy. Begin Again Tokyo Ghoul, Hide/Sasaki + others, Rated E Hide happens to see Sasaki, and is certain he's Kaneki. Set during canon and written whilst the manga was still being published; this is my 'I fucking called it' fic because certain plot points ended up actually being canon lol

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! Comments bring me life! The way I see it, if someone takes a moment to leave a comment - be it an emoji, a few words, or an entire essay, in any language - there's no reason I shouldn't take the time to show my appreciation for that by replying.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Love is Over Boueibu, Akoya/Arima, Rated T It's not all that angsty in comparison to angsty scenes in other fics I've written, but it's the angstiest ending.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? No idea. Most of my fics have happy endings lol

Do you get hate on fics? Only once. I ignored it.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes if the plot needs it. It isn't very good smut lmao

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I've only written one-- Love is Not a Subroutine! Boueibu/One Punch Man crossover, Genos/Saitama, En/Atsushi, Io/Ryuu, Rated T Genos and Saitama get zapped into the Boueibu universe, where they have to fight monsters with the power of love, rather than fists.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge

Have you ever had a fic translated? Someone asked to translate one of my fics once but I never heard anything about it after that. So no, I guess.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Started one with @anonymousedward but it kind of fell by the wayside and we both fell into different fandoms. It was a banger of an idea though!

What's your all-time favorite ship? This changes according to whatever fandom I'm in, so I'll pass on this question lol

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? There are 31 files in my 'abandoned wips' folder. I would very much like to finish all of them, but that's unlikely to happen. I guess I'd most like to finish a OPM soulmate AU, it's just a huge project and I haven't found the right kind of writing mojo to continue working on it.

What are your writing strengths? No shortage of ideas, I guess?

What are your writing weaknesses? They aren't always the right ideas. Also lack of discipline. I make a plan and don't stick to it. And many one-shots have ended up as multi-chaptered fics lmao

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I don't do it.

First fandom you wrote for? Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Favorite fic you've written? Aaaa I don't know. I was pleased with the vibe of Nightmare for All Seasons (Lost Souls, Steve/Ghost, Post-Canon, Rated T) and I have a soft spot for a whole bunch of my MDZS and OPM fics, but I was also super proud of Love is Sung in a Minor Key (Boueibu, Io/Ryuu + Akoya/Arima, Post-Canon/Bandman AU, Rated E) because I ended up not just writing fic, but lyrics too lol ...Neither of these fics are really good examples of the shit I usually write hahaha

Tagging: @mostlikelytofangirl @anonymousedward @batneko @rayadraws @10holmes @km-birdie @butterfliesandresistance if you wish to do it, no pressure though!

[hot-take-tournament]

Goncharov shouldn't have been as big a meme as it was. The Goncharov meme is bad, especially for anyone with any unreality issues. Dead serious.

Yeah, you do make a valid point. Unreality memes are fun, but there are people with genuine unreality issues that were affected by the Goncharov trend.

That being said, I do think that a lot of the fan works - art, writing, shitposts, etc. - inspired by that meme were really fun, and clearly took a lot of effort - and the results were super impressive. So I think the fact that it served as a creative outlet for so many people shouldn't be discounted either.

But you're right, it wasn't a great experience for people with those issues with unreality - but my takeaway from that was the importance of content warnings and tagging things properly, not that the meme itself - or just unreality content as a whole - was bad.

I followed the Goncharov tag when it was at its peak, and I constantly saw people begging other users to tag their posts as #unreality - and while plenty of people were doing that, it felt like just as many weren't.

I don't believe for a second that people were seeing those posts and just choosing to ignore them, because one thing I have learned over the past 3-4 years is that the vast majority of people on this website do genuinely care about the wellbeing of others; and I know that for a fact because a) all you guys have been so supportive of me up until now (<3), and b) because I spent so much time in my shithead teen years sending fucking horrific abuse to those same kind, genuine people, and the way everyone rallied around each other against my scumbag ass is a testament to that kindness.

So I think it's far more likely that they simply weren't seeing those posts, and just didn't know that unreality content can be a trigger for some people - because I genuinely didn't either until the Goncharov meme came around and people started talking about it. It's the same way I didn't know until I started this blog that the things I originally wrote in the master post were triggering people's OCD to the point where they had to blacklist the URL.

At the time Goncharov was a thing, a lot of people were saying that people making content for it should've just 'educated themselves' and then they would've known to tag stuff '#unreality', so it was their fault their work was affecting people with unreality issues - but personally I think that just wasn't fair, because honestly you can't know to educate yourself on an issue that you don't even know exists in the first place. You first need to know what it is you don't know before you can actually learn about it and fill that gap.

I have no idea if any of that answered your question because I'm drunk out of my fucking mind, so I don't know if any of this made sense, and I probably won't remember it in the morning - so:

tl;dr - I don't agree that the Goncharov meme was bad, but I think it did highlight the importance of content warnings and tags.

...unless you thought the meme was just unfunny, which is a different issue - that's an entirely subjective opinion, but I can totally respect it. And that's coming from someone who learnt last week that they apparently Goncharov'd themselves on at least three separate occasions, and has yet to fully recover from that revelation.

Anyway, I hope that all made some kind of sense...

...you guys want a poll?

[monstersinthecosmos]

I know it's often silly & self-deprecating and not that deep but I get really sad when I see posts & memes about how it sucks to write and how our identities as writers are called into question any time we are struggling and how writing is miserable!

it's not!

it shouldn't be!

and you'll never WANT to write and you'll never hone your skills if you fall into this trap that it's excruciating and not fun. it's the same as like, you'll never get into exercising if you only try exercises that make you miserable.

if writing isn't valuable to you, find ways to make the ritual worth it. like, sometimes it's not "fun" when you're pouring your guts out, sure. but it shouldn't be a chore that you're slogging through for--what? fandom clout? idk. it just shouldn't be so miserable. the end product should make you feel glad that you took the time and energy to do it.

just! idk!

it makes me sad, i wish we didn't SLANDER the craft so badly lmao. i think it makes people scared to start! it isn't motivating!

[orchideae]

salt meme *cracks knuckles*: ☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you? ☼ How long do you stay mad? ☢ What fads/trends are you so over (What is a fad)? ♨ Have you ever made a public call out post? ❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you? ❣ How salty are you feeling right now (Please give a comparison beginning of writing the answer to this and after you wrote it, for science purposes)?

— @delusionaid // Prompt: The salty AF meme

❣ How salty are you feeling right now? (1) I can't believe Youtube is playing a song called 'Do or Die' as I'm typing this up. Youtube wants me to go hard, but I dunno how much I can live up to that. But currently, salt levels are around 7/10.

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you? Show a genuine lack of respect across the board. This plays into numerous elements of social interaction, but more so than anything, it plays into the element of taking away someone's autonomy to how they run their blog. See, this is actually also something that more so makes it that I'll never follow you in the first place, but I guess that'll also work as salt too, right? Right, autonomy, I hate that we live in 2024, and people have been all about "it's your blog, you have the freedom to do what you want!" Yeah, except, ding, ding, 'do what you want' doesn't quite mean what we all think it does. You know, that little thing called its official definition? Yeah, not a thing. Have your liberty, however, you can't write with this person or that muse because they're problematic (correction: this person 'feels' that they're problematic) or have done some questionably morally grey things in their lifetime, you can't write a character with any of these 375 faceclaims that you're supposed to keep track of and agree with, if you write a villain then you should obviously ignore all of these villainous traits that make them villains because why would you ever write a villain who does bad things? (Unless he's hot or said villain is a female character, of course), on that note, please ignore this and this bit of canon because it makes me (personally) very uncomfortable. And to expand on the last two in specific, obviously you can't ever write or acknowledge these (dark) things any way, because if you write a character who even did something less bad, like spoke rudely to anyone, you obviously do the same thing in life outside of Tumblr.com and so I will write a callout about you. But apart from all of that and more things that are coincidentally hidden behind a little 'etc.', you can do whatever you want! Have fun!!

❣ How salty are you feeling right now? (2) About... 9/10.

☼ How long do you stay mad? Unless it's something really trivial, I'll usually sleep and my brain will process it back into non-existence the next day or the one after. But I do however, hold a grudge like none other. Granted, getting to that point is rather difficult to do, but if you do genuinely wrong me in some capacity, then I will remember that. Now, I believe in second chances, but those can't apply everywhere, for I do firmly believe that there are lines that truly shouldn't ever be crossed. Overall however, I'm not an angry person and to anger me in the first place is quite difficult. And you know, you especially do like to say that even when I'm angry, I'm smiling and laughing and 'don't really sound any different', so how mad/angry am I really? I think I really am just the 'No talk me I angy' cat meme in the flesh.

☢ What fads/trends are you so over? I still hate the concept of 'censorship'. I'm sorry, but if I dislike a character, a culture, a character trait, a show, book, an adaptation, I have every right to say so and I can even talk about it on my blog for hours if I so choose to do so, just like others are allowed to do the exact opposite. It is a two-way street. I shouldn't have to adhere to some system of social politics of, well, you're allowed to complain or talk about how this and this is bad, but if you want to touch on that, well no, we can't quite let you do that one! That's not exactly fitting in the current social political climate. Because here's my thing with it in general, if anyone for example told me that they disliked Yelan, I think that it would be a shame, if someone told me that, for example, they disapprove of my take of her sleeping around (again: not done in promiscuity); that's perfectly fine, tell me why and we can have a friendly talk about it. Because last I checked, discussion is incredibly healthy for our mental development. I want to know why people think differently, and I love the challenge of even possibly changing their perspective on the matter. But if everything is censored from the get-go, then there's no discussion, no potential for growth or understanding. I'm sad that this mere concept is still as prevalent in all fandoms as it seems to be.

♨ Have you ever made a public call out post? Can salt posts like this entire ask response be considered as a public call out post of bad behavior across the board? Yes? Okay great, then yes, I absolutely have. I reblog a salt meme like this at least once every 2/3 months when my activity isn't entirely shot into the depths of hell itself

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you? Meh, I don't care much about FCs, at least not like I used to when I actively used them, nor did I ever really feel like any FC was ever 'ruined' for me. I just get very tired of people overusing specific characters or roles, but I'm very easily affected by overexposure or over-hype in general, so this isn't surprising.

❣ How salty are you feeling right now? (3). 6/10 or so, I'd say.

[olderthannetfic]

a question have been haunting my mind the past few days and i can't figure out the answer. im an EFL and when i circle around primarily on english fandom communities, i tend to write mostly on my first language. after this little context, the question: is it bad etiquette/overall something i shouldn't do if i take prompts from AO3 prompt memes that are in english but the fic i post as a response is not in english? this made me a little too much anxious since a fandom friend of my entered a english fandom week after actually asking the mods if she could do the week in other language but when she posted and tagged accordingly all her fics the week account ignored her because her fics weren't written in english and people "couldn't understand" the fics.

--

I see nothing wrong with being inspired by those prompts. I suppose if you formally claim them and the prompt-maker can't read the response, they might feel robbed, like nobody else will claim the prompt now.

Generally, I expect a lot of monolingual English speakers to be idiots about other languages, but that doesn't make borrowing prompts or doing a theme week in another language rude.

[kritischetheologie]

Hi, another anon. The safe, respectful thing to do *is* to be extra careful about making jokes like that about black people. Definitely in the context that he's the only black driver in the sport.

I'm black, I've been in fandom spaces for almost 20 years, and I've tried my best to avoid the 1D fandom like the plague. Not all fandom experiences are universal and some folks may not be familiar with the meme. Since I fall into that category, my response seeing it was "What the fuck? This meme doesn't fit the situation and it's not funny."

Even if someone is familiar with the meme, it's still okay for them to be upset to see in used in this scenario. I don't think it's Making Things Weird at all. It's exhausting when someone says, "Hey, this isn't cool, think about this in regards to race and the context of what you're saying/joking about." and folks respond, "You're making a big deal of this, people are having fun." Most people don't like when someone rocks the fandom boat. And it was a pleasant surprise to actually see a couple of folks *say* "Hey, what the fuck everyone."

In my opinion, the original anon shouldn't be tagged anon hate. They didn't insult you. Their request was was polite, even though the second sentence sounds pushy. The joy of communicating online. But to be empathetic, that's someone that probably follows your blog and likes your views, was upset when they saw the post and felt moved enough to send you the ask.

It's good that you wanted to open up a conversation and take up their request to reflect.

Hi anon (long response below the cut),

First of all, thank you for taking the time to write this out, and for expressing your perspective with grace and vulnerability. I really appreciate the trust it implies, and I'm glad to give a platform to your experience.

Second, I want to stress that when I talk about "making things weird," I am not talking about poc (or other people experiencing marginalization) speaking up about their experiences of being hurt or made uncomfortable by things. Please, always keep doing that! (I remember reading Sara Ahmed's feminist killjoys and encountering the line "when you expose a problem, you become the problem." please, keep being the killjoys in this world!)

Instead, when I think about making things weird, I think about the way that someone's experience of marginalization can get blown up to be the only thing anyone thinks about them, the way that marginalized communities can come to be seen as monolithic and marginalized individuals as always speaking from and for those communities, and the way that liberal white women, especially, can take an approach to poc that is so reverential it loops back around to become dehumanizing. to use a mundane example, if you're not willing to criticize or call out your colleague who's consistently late to meetings because you think that valuing being on time is a hallmark of white supremacy culture, you might need to ask yourself whether you actually take this person seriously as a peer. this is not me advocating for an "I'm an equal opportunity asshole" edgelord stance, and it is not super relevant to this specific joke, but because it's a thing I've seen go wrong in how well-meaning liberals interact with and think about poc, it's something I'm always keeping in mind. I hope that makes you feel better about speaking up, and less afraid of "making it weird."

Finally, on the question of "anon hate": I may have been a little too liberal in my use of that tag, but one of the things I have consistently said about anons is that I will extend them far less charity than I extend anyone using an actual account. I appreciate your attempt at empathy, and I try to be empathetic, but the anon could have said something like, "I follow your blog, and I like your views, and..." or the anon could have said, "I was hurt by this." or the anon could have said, "this joke isn't even relevant to the scenario." they didn't. they showed up, gave me an order, and left. and while I was happy to use that as a tool for actual reflection, and to actually discuss it with people I know and care about, nothing in that anon's behavior suggested they wanted to have a conversation with me, or wanted me to actually reflect. it seems like they wanted me to go sit in a corner and feel bad. if they wanted to have a real conversation, they could have started one.

obviously, it's scary to approach people as your real self, but that's the tradeoff: if I know who you are, then I assume that you are trying to engage me in a real dialogue, that stems from an actual relationship. if I know who you are, I assume that you are someone who cares about me, who wants me to care about you. that doesn't mean that you need to doxx yourself, christ, but pick a pseudonym and play along on the pseudonymous website. if you're an anon, I start from the assumption that you are nobody to me, because that's the position you have chosen to approach me from. sometimes, I think that I should turn off anons altogether. my blog isn't a spectator sport.