#and that proves to myself that i'm not difficult. even when i feel like i'm hard to love i remember that i really don't ask for much

[moe-broey]

Thank you transwomen (in general but also) for the term "boymode" bc using that terminology for myself as a transguy (so, "girlmode") has been the only way I've been able to aptly and succinctly describe whatever the hell was going on *vaguely gestering to my adolescence from ages 15 to 19* there.

[tardis--dreams]

I feel like someone needs to take my hand and encourage me to do difficult things as if i was a child and not a grown ass person

[neverendingford]

.

[shegatsby]

i'm aching for feyd rautha x fremen reader!!! perhaps soulmate situation where feyd has dreams about reader and is UTTERLY OBSESSED (please i yearn) ((im so normal about feyd rautha)) also pls drink water and its no rush :))

A/n; HIIIII! This is my first Feyd-Rautha fanfic so go easy on me. Thank you so much for this request, not me giggling and blushing as i was writing this. English isn't my first language so I'm so sorry for any typos.

Words; 5.315K (wow i out did myself lol)

Warnings; War, killing, abduction

He was running, he could feel the rain on his face but he kept running. Moist sand and wet mélange filled his nostrils, the damp sand stuck to his heavy boots, the sound they made was similar to walking on the fresh snow. He never thought he could smell things in his dreams, ‘’Find me.’’  A woman’s soft voice echoed in his ears, ‘’I dare you.’’ And there she was, standing in her stillsuit, hair long and wet, over the years her face was getting more and more clear. Before Feyd could reach and grab her he woke up. He was sweating and he wasn’t in Arrakis, he was in Giedi Prime, House Harkonnen. He could feel the cold satin of his sheets, ‘’Who are you?’’ he whispered into thin air, nothing moved or made a sound. His room was dark, as usual. He rose to his feet and walked to the large glass, his side of the castle over looked the volcanic wasteland that was Giedi Prime, heavly industrialized, low photosynthesis. Harkonnen’s kept the original forests but other than that everything was stone and building.

Feyd-Rautha was a rational man when it comes to these things, however, he kept having these dreams since he was a child. In his dreams he was either in his home planet or Arrakis, he wasn’t alone. The girl in his dreams had always been distant, over the years the girl kept coming closer and closer. Last few months he could see her face clearly. She was a beauty, none of his concubines could match it. Sometimes they would sit in silence or he would chase her… he was going to lose his mind. He needed answers to these dreams, with the arrival of Reverend Mother Helen Mohiam he hoped to get those answers he was looking for. He ordered his men to keep the Reverend Mother at greeting room, when he got ready he left his chambers in a hasty manner. He was a man of action and he didn’t like waiting or making his guest wait, he had a reputation to keep.

Reverend Mother was seated at one of the metal chairs, covered in black clothing, she fitted the room, the castle of Harkonnen was mostly black and grey, servants and soldiers had to wear the same colors as well.

At first Reverend Mother had to test him to see if he was human or not, he followed her instructions and put his hand in a box, he had to endure the pain which was something he got used to and he even enjoyed getting hurt but this was something else. He could feel his hand burn and freeze at the same time, visions ran at a fast speed in his mind’s eyes. He was eager to prove himself so he didn’t flinch, he could feel sweat running down his face, Reverend Mother didn’t not react at all.

‘’You have passed the test.’’ She announced in a flat tone but he knew she was impressed.

‘’My turn.’’  He said which confused the old woman, he was kneeling for this test so he bolted to his feet and took a step back. Hands clasped at his back, he seemed intimidating in his black tunic and pants. His boots made him look much taller than others and he was already a tall man.

‘’What do you know about dreams?’’

‘’Tell me yours and I shall reveal the truth.’’ His eyes searched her face, which was difficult to see through her thin scarf, ‘’I-‘’ he started, ‘’I see.. her.’’ He was hesitant. Reverend Mother noticed the way he said ‘’her’’ this woman must be of importance. ‘’Go on.’’ Old age made her curious for gossip and she thought she was about hear the juiciest one, she didn’t know she was going to discover something larger. Larger than anyone on this Universe.

‘’I’m usually in Arrakis, it rains, and I see her. She speaks to me. She wants me to find her in the desert. I believe she is a Fremen.’’ He shortly explains, Reverend Mother leaned in, ‘’What does he say exactly?’’ Feyd felt naked before this old witch. ‘’ ‘Find me.’ She says, I could hear her in my mind. She wants us to unite.’’ There was a silence, his patience running thin, was he going insaner than usual or these dreams meant something?

‘’Arrakis… rain.. a girl…’’ he heard Reverend Mother whisper to herself, ‘’How long have you been having these dreams?’’ she asked, she was the one who suppose to give answers to him and yet she was questioning him. ‘’Since my childhood.’’ And with that Reverend Mother quickly stood up, which was quicker than expected, considering her age. ‘’I must speak to your uncle Baron Vladimir. Wait us here.’’ He had no choice now, the Pandora’s box was opened. He would rather fight in the arena than waiting here. He was pacing in the large room that had black marble floors, his boots made distinctive sound son the cold floor, his head turned to the doors of the room when they were opened by the servants, his uncle came floating, next to him Reverend Mother followed, Baron was ear to ear smiling, ‘’Hearing these news on your name day is nothing but fate.’’ The old man announced, it was true. Today was Feyd-Rautha’s name day and a ceremony was waiting for him later. ‘’Congratulations, Reverend Mother here says you’ll be the one who raise Harkonnen to its glory.’’ He said with his raspy voice, he seemed joyful even, well, a joy that fit him, cold and calculating. Feyd’s snake like neck moved in questioning, ‘’What about Rabban?’’ his brother Rabban was in Arrakis, ruling in the name of Baron Vladimir Harkonnen, mostly failing him and their family. ‘’He will be reassigned.’’ In their family this meant that it was his last chance, or he would be killed.

‘’Enjoy Arrakis.’’ A cunning smile made him look even more terrifying. He left them alone, Feyd was confused but also the idea of controlling spice made his body electric. ‘’To fulfill your destiny you have to find that Fremen and to secure your place you have to join your house with their kind. They shall be easier to control. I’m sure she is waiting for you to claim her.’’ Reverend Mother was testing the waters, she watched Feyd-Rautha’s expression change into predator mode after she spoke. Now it was a hunt for him and she knew that he won’t stop until he fulfilled his mission.

Feyd knew what Reverend Mother meant but to join with the barbarians?! His house’s reputation could be at stake. He was a psychotic killer but he had rules. He will not tolerate anything that might humiliate his family name. he didn’t want to think further about this so he found himself marching to the arena. After the games he was suppose to have his ceremony and be shipped to Arrakis, his new home.

His ‘’ascending’’ to the title of ‘’Na-Baron’’ was well organized. Rabban lost his rank so it was his time to shine, bring glory and fame to his name and his house. Among the loud cries and applauses Baron Vladimir held his nephew’s face in his sweaty palms and whispered into his ears, ‘’Do not fail me son.’’ It wasn’t coming from affection, it was a threat. He knew his missions;

‘’Control Rabban,

Take over the spice production and multiply the income,

Fulfill what Reverend Mother said.’’

First two were easy…

That night he was shipped to Arrakis with an army and his most loyaly men. As soon as he landed he had one thing in mind, ‘’make Rabban pay for his foolishness’’, ‘’My Na-Baron,’’ servants greeted him outside the castle of Arrakis, hot sun hit his face, he could smell the mélange. ‘’Lord Rabban is waiting for you.’’ As she walked to the Coordination Chambers he watched servants bow in fear and respect. He liked what he saw. Without waiting for servants to open the door for him he barged in. ‘’Rabban!’’ he yelled in animalistic anger. No one noticed the was Rabban flinched but him. ‘’You have humiliated our house,’’ he took a step towards him, ‘’you have humiliated me.’’ And another step. ‘’Kiss my foot.’’ He said cautiously, waiting for Rabban’s reaction and since none came Feyd pushed Rabban to the floor, ‘’Kiss or die.’’ Rabban  had no choice but to give in.

Following days were easy. Fremens didn’t know the change in command so first attack was successful. Spice production was slow but promising. Other houses started to send gifts and letters to him to gain his favor. ‘’He who controls the spice controls the entire galaxy.’’ his uncle used to say to him as a child and he was right.

Weeks passed and every time he launched an attack he was also at the front with his men. Main reason was his thirst for blood and gore, however a side of him was looking for something or rather someone. Ever since his arrival his dreams became more frequent and vivid.

The girl kept saying ‘’You’re close.’’

She must be near he could feel it, but among thousands of Fremen girls how was he suppose to find her?

Whenever they attacked he ordered his men to gather Fremen girls who were close to his age, after capturing them he would look at their faces and try to find her but his research was in vain, or so he thought.

Months passed, he was growing restless and Fremen knew how to fight. Disputes were bringing imbalance to the realm. He was refusing to sleep due to the fact that you were in his dreams and he was making plans, growing tactics to find you.  Also he didn’t have much time since the Padishah Emperor Shaddam sent him a letter;

‘’Find what you are looking for and bring stability.’’

It was a direct order otherwise he knew that Padishah Emperor would sent his soldiers, Sardaukars to take over what he had established so far.

After that letter his attacks grew more persistent.

‘’Na-Baron, Prisoners are here.’’ Without changing his blood dripping battle suit he marched to the room where the prisoners were kept. They were all on their knees, hands tied behind their backs. ‘’How many?’’ he asked to his general, removing his leather gloves, ‘’20 my Na-Baron.’’

Sleepless night had a toll on him, he was more on the edge than usual. It was going to be almost a year since he came to Arrakis. Fighting with Fremens put the spice production at risk and he couldn’t have that. ‘’I am looking for someone.’’ He began, Fremens knew by now that he was looking for a girl, old Fremens believed that it was a part of a prophecy long forgotten, most of the young ones thought it was a Benne Gesserit tactic to control them.

‘’Eyes up!’’ he yelled, and they looked up to meet his vicious gaze, at the corner one of the girls looked up and immediately lowered her gaze. ‘’You!’’ he pointed to the girl, ‘’Bring her to me.’’ He ordered and two of his men dragged her to him. His pale hand held her face to look deeply but it was false alarm, it wasn’t her. ‘’Why did she move her eyes though?’’ he thought. She seemed like she was holding something… information? Maybe.

‘’It seems like you know me.’’ He said quietly, ‘’I don’t know you.’’ He northerner accent filled his ears. Her voice was shaking and her fear gave it away, ‘’Ohh,’’ Feyd-Rautha loved to see fear in people’s eyes. ‘’You and I, we’re going to have a talk.’’ He moved his head slightly to the left and his men took the girl to a questioning room. Others moved in their places with an uneasy manner.

Feyd didn’t want to waste no time so he followed his men to the room. Inside the castle was kept at a mild temperature, outside was hell. He never thought he could get used to the heat but he adapted.

Feyd watched his men chain the girl to a metal chair and also watched the scared girl observe the room. Brown walls and floors were covered in blood, there were human parts here and there. ‘’What are you going to do to me?’’ she asked trying to stay calm. He wasn’t in the mood for torture since he just came from a battle, ‘’Nothing if you aid and abet. You might even have a luxurious life for your family in the city.’’ Rich Fremens lived in the city. He was actually being honest, she could tell. ‘’Tell me what do you know.’’ If one looked closer it could be seen that he was tired, after all he was human and human beings had their limits. ‘’Promise you won’t hurt her.’’

With the mention of you, his posture got straighter, ‘’I don’t intend to.’’

‘’And promise you let those women go to their homes.’’ Feyd felt generous today, ‘’Set them free.’’ He ordered which shocked his men, ‘’But my Na-Baron,’’ his solider’s sentence cut short since Feyd cut his throat. ‘’You heard me.’’ He warned his other soldiers. ‘’Now,’’ he looked at her, ‘’your turn.’’

The girl seemed cautious. ‘’I… I think I know who you’re looking for.’’ She started, ‘’I have a friend, since childhood. She keeps telling me her dreams of a man.. description fits you perfectly.’’ She finished as if an invisible burden lifted off of her shoulders. ‘’She is a respected soldier’s daughter, they live in a secluded cave, well guarded. It won’t be easy.’’ Feyd smiled in anticipation,

‘’I don’t want easy.’’

The girl gave the exact coordinates, as he was leaving he stopped in his tracks, ‘’What’s her name?’’

‘’Y/N.’’

He rested during the day, he wanted to attack to their Sietch when its late night. ‘’Y/N…’’ he whispered like praying to Gods. ‘’A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.’’

The sietch was in deep desert but his men were perfectly prepared. He positioned his men at the exists and entrances of the sietch.

They blasted the stone walls which were doors, Fremen knew how to be one with the desert. Fremen were ambushed, they didn’t expect the attack but they were brave, sietch was big with multiple floors. Since Y/N was a well respected soldier’s daughter she must be upstairs with other higher ranks. He moved past everyone, climbing the stone stairs, screams were music to his ears. He pushed and kicked everyone who was on his way. Upstairs the rooms had thin green curtains that were see-through. He didn’t bother with crying children and their mothers, his one and only mission was to find Y/N and leave with her. As he was walking carefully on the long hall which had rooms on his left and right he felt a presence at his back. His blade crashed with another. The woman was in her stillsuit just like others, her face and hair covered with a dirty beige scarf, only eyes could be seen. ‘’Move out of my way girl and you will live.’’ When the girl heard his voice he noticed the hand she was holding the blade go soft for a split second but gained strength once again.

Feyd’s suit was specifically designed for him, head to toe he was dipped in jet black, a mask covering his face yet his eyes were there like dark diamonds. Shining with thirst. She didn’t say anything and made her move. She was passionate, it didn’t go unnoticed by him, maybe she had a thirst for blood just like him. Feyd stepped back and her crysknife licked the air. ‘’I gave you chance.’’ Feyd said before he launched at her, he was swift but the girl answered every stroke. ‘’You are good…’’ he was out of breath, her stance was weak, ‘’but not that good.’’ And they danced. Feyd made her trip, Fremen girl wasn’t even making a sound while attacking, she was like the desert, silent. Her moves made him think of swans, elegant yet bold. Feyd could feel that tonight he was going to satisfy his need for blood. 

Fremen girl threw sand to his face to get advantage because she was unstable, ‘’Unfair.’’ She heard him say. He rubbed his eyes and had to remove his mask. She saw him under the orange glowglobe, her knife dropped and ran to the opposite direction.

Feyd-Rautha wasn’t a stupid man. This action of hers gave her true identity. Like a predator he began the chase, it was thrilling. It wasn’t easy to spot her among Fremens who wear the same colored suits but it made the chase more fun. Something in him told him to go to the nearest exit and he did.

He had fewer men outside since most of the action was inside the sietch, the sand was covered in blood and his man laying stiff on the ground. One of his men lost his weapon, maybe she took it?

He closed his eyes to listen to the desert, he could hear swift motions, he followed where the sound coming from, there were large rocks to his left and he moved. Someone jumped at him behind the rocks, he fell to the ground, smell of spice made him a bit dizzy but he composed himself quickly. Two small hands grabbed his throat, sitting on top of him. She was screaming in ecstasy, maybe she never killed someone and she thought this was going to be her first. Feyd thought it was cute that she thinks she could kill him. With all of his strength he moved to his side dragging her along with him. Now she was laying on the ground, with one of his hand he pinned her hands above her head, he didn’t forget to give all of his weight to make her stay put, her legs wrapped around his waist. With his other hand he found his knife and cut her scarf. Her pure face revealed under Arrakis’s two glowing moons. His animalistic smile grew, ‘’Found you.’’ She was struggling to get away, like an animal trapped in a cage. ‘’Sleep tight.’’ And he injected a sedative, in seconds her shiny eyes closed.

Arrakis has woken up to a new day, a new era one might say. Na-Baron was energetic, he woke up to a letter from Reverend Mother; ‘’Now that you got what you came for it won’t be hard to continue.’’

It was a simple message for an ordinary man’s eyes yet Feyd-Rautha wasn’t an ordinary man. It meant that ‘’Bring stability by uniting his house with the Fremens.’’ Last night’s events showed that he needed much time to break her to his liking. He had so many questions to ask her…

After a really long time Feyd had a boyish excitement. He was having his breakfast eagerly in his bed chambers when his door knocked and his Mentat walked in. ‘’How is she?’’ he asked eating his beef. ‘’My Na-Baron, she is creating chaos. Unstable.’’ He chuckled, sucked the juice off of his thumb, ‘’Take me to her.’’

She was kept in a guest room, probably biggest room she had ever had the luxury of staying, his Mentat went in first and Na-Baron heard the immediate screams from her, he also heard some metal clinging and barged in. She was chained at the end of the room, her hands and neck. ‘’What is the meaning of this?!’’ he yelled to his Mentat, ‘’Why is my bride chained to a wall?!’’ he could feel the rage in his veins. ‘’My Na-Baron, she is aggressive and killed a servant. We had no choice.’’

‘’Leave us.’’

When the door closed a thick silence occupied the room. She was standing in her stillsuit, hair a mess, and anger in her pretty eyes, eyes that were so familiar to him. He slowly approached, watched her move to the opposite direction, as he got close he could see the red marks on her wrists and neck. He came to a stop at a white line on the floor, his Mentat must have painted it.

‘’I’m not going to hurt you little dove.’’ His voice was calm which puzzled her, he was yelling at his Mentat seconds ago. His raspy tone which was inherited in his bloodline made her take a step back. ‘’Are you hungry?’’ she was shocked at his questioning. She only nodded, ‘’If you promise to not attack my servants they will bathe you and give you clean clothes, later you can have a fulfilling meal.’’ He tilted his head, his sharp jaw pointed like a blade, ‘’How does that sound?’’ Feyd could tell that she was tired and strangers made her uneasy, Fremens were a close-knit community, didn’t like strangers but they weren’t strangers, they haven’t been for a long time. Even though she didn’t let her guard down he could feel that she was less tense. ‘’I will be back.’’

After an hour or so Feyd was informed that she didn’t attack anyone, let the maids bathe her and dress her. Now she was eating, perfect timing.

Feyd-Rautha checked himself on the mirror, he had sleeveless black tunic and black pants, black boots. As usual. He left his chambers to visit her.

He opened the guest room door to see her eating, two maids waiting at her back. Y/N stopped eating when she saw her. She had a dark purple dress, showing her elegant shoulders, as he cautiously approached she smelled like a garden of roses, her hair brushed and braided. ‘’Leave us.’’ His eyes never leaving her. As the maids were leaving he didn’t forget to press the button on his chest, he had an invisible shield. Just in case.

‘’Please,���’ he said ‘’continue.’’ He sat next to her, grabbed an apple from the fruit basket. In the menu there was red wine, cooked fish and fruit. ‘’I’ve chosen the menu for you, is it to your liking?’’ she took a sip from her wine to clean her throat, half of the fish was eaten already. ‘’What is this?’’ she pointed at the fish, this was the first time Feyd heard her in real life. He had a victorious smile which Y/N found it odd. ‘’Fish. Have you ever seen a live one before?’’

‘’No.’’

‘’They live in the sea, lakes, rivers…’’ he stood up to move close to the wall to wall window, ‘’Imagine this desert filled with water. In that water animals like fish lives.’’ He turned to see her reaction, her eyes shone interest, ‘’I’m going to take you to planets that have sea.’’ He was speaking more to himself.

‘’What do you want?’’ she asked harshly, ‘’I want you.’’

Fremens were up front about their thoughts and feelings but seeing an outsider being that way shocked her. ‘’We have the same dreams since childhood. Am I mistaken?’’ he had to be sure. She nodded, ‘’Don’t you think this is.. fate?’’ yes, she was having the same dreams of him, last night when she saw his face her body was in fight or flight and she choose flight. All she wanted to do right now get the knife from the table and jab it to his pale neck, she thought nothing was stopping her so slowly her left hand went to the table, Feyd’s back was turn but he had pointy ears. She jumped from her seat to his back, like a monkey but an invisible energy was pushing the knife from his neck. Feyd’s laughter echoed in the room and with one move he pulled her from his back and made her stand in front of him, holding her hands behind her back, now they were glued. This was the first time they were this close without war gear, he could feel her breasts pressing his chest, up close she noticed how smooth his arms were, and how masculine he was. ‘’I didn’t expect the least from you.’’ He said smiling, he was mad, that’s for sure. She lost her temper.

‘’You murdered my kin! You killed my family, my friends! I would rather die!’’ the fire in her eyes intrigued him. Her eyes were getting blurry, she was fighting to escape but his grip was strong.

‘’If they gave me the spice willingly none of this would happen.’’ He said with a serious tone, ‘’Let go of me!’’ she screamed, ‘’I would rather be eaten by Shai Hulud than be your bride!’’ she was crying now, her vision was blurry and Feyd let her go. Y/N’s tired arms which held bruises from last night hitting his chest, ‘’I have no one-‘’ she was having an attack, ‘’because of you-‘’ Feyd felt a lump in his throat, it was strange to him, he never thought he would feel sadness but here he was. He achieved everything he ever wanted but why did he have a bitter taste in his mouth?

She was shaking violently, Feyd held her, the reality of the situation hit her like a sand storm. People that she called family were gone by the hands of this man who was holding her so delicately…

These hands that were brushing her hair committed atrocities…

Months of hiding and fighting made her fall to her knees, she lost to the outsider.

‘’You have me now.’’ She heard the Na-Baron say, ‘’Shh,’’ she felt his plump lips on her hair, ‘’you have me little dove.’’ Her body gave in and she fainted.

‘’It was a seizure due to stress my Na-Baron.’’ Feyd-Rautha was by her side, she was sleeping, when Mentat left he found himself holding her hand and climbing to bed. ‘’What if this doesn’t work out?’’

The pressure of keeping his family name at its glory kicked in. Feyd lived his life to be the perfect Harkonnen, could he loose it all?

Reverend Mother was suppose to come to Arrakis in a few days to see Y/N and question her, they only had few days to get to know each other. What would happen if Reverend Mother didn’t see Y/N as a right match for their breeding program? But the dreams… element of fate.. it was too much for him. He let his body relax next to Y/N’s, still holding her hand he fell asleep.

Y/N felt a presence next to her and her eyes opened immediately. It was night, and a glowglobe lit the room dimly, the night was silent. To her left she saw him, sleeping peacefully, her hand in his, she wondered how could someone commit murder day and night and then sleep like this. No care in the world, she thought, how wrong she was.

At first she thought her dreams to be simple imagination of children, later in life the dreams grew frequent. In her dreams she kept seeing him holding her hand and leading her to new planets, the first person she told about these dreams was her father who took her to an old lady, after having a mélange session the old woman started to scream ‘’So it’s written!’’ there was an old prophecy long forgotten, a Fremen girl was going to marry an outsider which would bring stability. For years her people had fought, hid in the shadows, she never believed the prophecy and moved on but her father and her close friend and that old woman believed religiously. She turned to observe him. He looked so pure she didn’t want to believe that this man was the man she fought back at home. ‘’Like what you see?’’ his raspy voice had amusement. She didn’t move or said nothing. He opened her blue eyes, his hand gently went up to trace the outlines of her face, ‘’Give me a chance to introduce myself.’’ And he kissed her hand, together they fallen asleep again.

The next morning they had breakfast in silence, ‘’I want to show you something today.’’ He announced and he took her to the garden inside the castle. Years ago his ancestors built a garden inside that well kept and full of flowers from different planets. Y/N had never seen these before, she read about plants because she was interested in them but seeing them in real life was something else. She found herself smelling every flower, Feyd noticed the huge smile on her face, they sat among the flowers, neither of them dared to utter a word. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, she was in awe of this place and Feyd was in awe of her. She looked divine in her orange dress, she looked positively care free.

All day they didn’t speak a word to each other, Feyd gave some orders, other than that he intend to keep the silence. In silence there was no rejection, no fighting. They had dinner together, and he watched her take off her clothes wear her night gown and lay on the bed. They were in his bed chambers so he also changed and went to bed. There was a space between them which Feyd didn’t like. He was discovering new things about himself such as desire to have physical contact. Her back was turned to him, he came close and hugged her from behind, she didn’t move.

The days that followed were the same. Slowly Feyd started to give her information about his life here and there, she listened intently but her heart was with the desert. So many times Feyd caught her staring out the window, Y/N also made comments to things he said or shared memories of her past. She had to make a decision but she wasn’t in hurry since the Harkonnen’s and Fremens stopped fighting since she was captured. That night she felt the cold side of the bed and woke up, Feyd was gone, yes they slept in the same bed for days but nothing happened. She rose to her feet and fell on her knees, the castle was under attack. Sirens could be heard everywhere. Out the window she saw Fremens attack the castle, she found a knife from Feyd’s closet and left the room. The halls were packed with Harkonnen soldiers, marching outside to meet the attack and they had heavy machines, also their numbers higher than Fremens. She had to find him and put an end to this.

Bare foot she was running, they all seemed the same, pale skin and black suits. When Y/N saw his Mentat she ran to him, ‘’Where is he?!’’ she yelled, it was chaos, chaose everywhere. ‘’My lady you shouldn’t be outside.’’ She didn’t care, ‘’Where is he?!’’ she demanded. ‘’At the entrance, greeting the Fremens.’’ And she ran. Mentat was right he was fighting and killing her kin, he was a skilled killing machine.  ‘’FEYD!’’ she screamed at the top of her lungs. Fremens that knew her stopped in their tracks, shocked to see her in a luxurious night gown, they were here to collect her. ‘’FEYD!’’ the Fremen he was fighting stopped when he saw her and it made Feyd stop too, among dust and falling men he turned to face her. He was covered in blood, holding knives in both of his hands, he slashed open the Fremen’s throat and walked to her. She could feel her blood run cold.

‘’How could you?!’’ she attacked, Feyd immediately held her hand that was holding the knife, her knife dropped.

‘’Mary me!’’ he screamed, ‘’Mary me and I’ll stop the war.’’

Y/N looked around, watching her people fall to the sand and lose it was too much to bear, it was high time someone put an end to this and if it was her then she had to fulfill her destiny.

She said nothing but held his face and kissed his plump lips.

[exhaslo]

Oh heyy, just wanted to say that i loved the chubby baker x miguel where he hates sweets and i was wondering of if you could do like a pt 2 to it where Miguel and baker are married and she’s like in her second or third trimester of pregnancy and she’s now starting to lactate and it turns miguel the fuck up mainly bc his spider dna is like “oooh sweets ew but wifey sweet taste yes” so he just like swoops in and pretends to give her a massage but instead gives her one of the best fucks she could imagine ????????

Okay, I can do this, but I don't quite feel too comfortable with sex during pregnancy. I know it happens, but I just can't see myself being able to write that, but I will still work with your request, just tweak it a little.

Also, so sorry for getting to this so late! I had so many requests at the same time!!!

Part 1

Warning: MINORS DNI, Smut, p in v, masturbation praise, rough sex, creampie, breeding kink, lactation, shower sex, mating press

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Sometimes you still felt like Miguel was an Angel. He entered your life and gave you everything you've ever wanted in a man. So perfect, that you had to question if you were dreaming every time you saw him before you.

When Miguel asked you to marry him, it felt like a dream come true. He gave you the fairy tale wedding that every little child desired. It did make you slightly embarrassed since now all of your friends and family knew that you had a rich husband.

Your honeymoon was nothing short of relax. Miguel was skeptical about leaving the city alone for the week, but you had managed to convince him otherwise. He took you to your dream vacation spot and an all exclusive package to everything.

Plus, the endless nights of rough, non-stop sex, made you go over the moon. You swore you lost weight from all the special 'exercise' but gained it all back whenever Miguel filled you to the brim. It made your heart flutter, but your cheeks fluster at the thought.

Thanks to that special week, you immediately got pregnant. Both you and Miguel were over the moon with the news. The amount of pampering and extra care you received made you cry sometimes. Never had you thought you get so lucky with Miguel.

"Miggy? Can you try this batch for me, please?" You begged, taking out some scones from the oven.

The further into your pregnancy, the worse your cravings and taste buds got. You weren't sure if this was an effect of carrying Miguel's baby since his DNA was half spider, or if it was just a pregnancy thing, but it was affecting your work.

Sometimes you cried since you couldn't taste your own sweets. You had wanted to make sure everything was good for your customers, but it was proving difficult. Some of the bully teenagers even made fun of you because of it.

Miguel put a stop to the bullies and offered to be your taste tester, despite his dislike for sweets.

"Of course, baby." Miguel hummed, kissing your cheek, "Why don't you sit, you've been on your feet for a while?"

"I-I'm okay," You whimpered, offering him a scone. Miguel took a bite, making eye contact with you the whole time,

"Delicious," He hummed and picked you up, carrying you to the couch, "Don't worry, baby, you'll be able to enjoy all your sweets soon."

"I-I know," You cried softly, going through a little mood swing.

Miguel comforted you as you cried, enjoying having his plump wife in his embrace. Hearing you sniffed and whine, Miguel glanced down at you and noticed your shirt getting soaked by where your breasts were.

"N-Not again!" You cried some more.

Miguel's eyes widen as he felt something in him stir into a frenzy. His grip around you grew tighter as he whispered sweet words into your ear to calm you down. Miguel could feel his heart rate increase as a new sweet scent caught his attention.

"I...I have to go to work. Let me know if you need anything," Miguel groaned lowly as he released you once you calmed down.

"Okay, love you."

"Love you more," Miguel pecked your lips before heading out.

--------

Not even swinging through the city could calm Miguel down. He had to stop on top of a building to ease his burning erection. This was the first time Miguel had seen you lacerate. Who would have thought that you would smell so sweet?

Miguel hissed as he pumped his cock at the thought of you under him again. It had been so long since his dick was inside you. Miguel didn't want to risk anything with the baby. It was hard for him to restrain himself, especially now that he was infatuated with your new sweet scent.

"(Y/n)!" Miguel moaned as he pumped his hand faster.

His cute chubby little wife, so needy and so delicious. Feeling his fangs poke out, Miguel just wanted to fuck another baby into your already. Your cries of pleasure eluding him for the moment. Cussing lowly, Miguel panted as he cam against the wall.

"Fuck,"

This looked pathetic. Miguel couldn't control himself around his precious wife. Once you gave birth, Miguel was going to have to treat you to a job well done, by filling you up again.

----------

You felt exhausted. After giving birth to your son, all you felt like doing was sleeping. During the last month of your pregnancy, you felt like eating and eating and eating, to the point where you were sobbing at your weight.

Miguel had to comfort you so much that you felt bad, but now, you gave birth to his son and all you felt like doing was sleeping. The stress of it all had gotten to you, but Miguel was there to carry both you and your child home.

Once you got home, your son started crying for food. You whimpered softly from being woken up and took your son to feed. Miguel was right behind you the whole time, kissing your neck as he watched his son drink from your breasts.

"I hope you're not too tired, baby," Miguel hummed, nibbling your ear, "I think you deserve an award."

"Miggy~" You cooed, finishing with your son, "Let me shower first-"

"We can start there."

Miguel felt lust consume his common sense as he followed you to the shower. Your sweet scent distracting him from anything else. His hands were all over you the moment you stepped into the bathroom squeezing each part of your body.

"M-Miguel...D-Don't squeeze the baby fat...I-I-"

"Am beautiful? Perfect?" Miguel captured your lips in a deep kiss as he turned the water on, "Fucking ready to be eaten,"

"Mhm~ W-What's gotten into you?" You asked with a soft laugh. Miguel nearly tore your clothes off, pressing you against the shower wall,

"I've been so patient," He groaned, kissing down your chest, "(Y/N), you've been driving me crazy with your sweet scent. I just want to gobble you up,"

"Sweet scent?" You questioned, but gasped as Miguel started to suck on your breasts, "M-Miguel~!"

"Fuck, baby, you taste even better."

You gasped and moaned as Miguel started to rut against you, his hands and mouth all over your breasts. You had wrapped your arms and legs around Miguel, arching your body against the shower wall. You whimpered as he started to bite,

"M-Miguel, g-gentle please," You begged.

Miguel glanced up at you with blown pupils. His look was screaming lust as he licked up your milk. Bringing his lips against yours, Miguel shoved his tongue into your mouth as his dick started to slid into your tight gummy walls.

"Ah, I missed you so much," Miguel groaned, his lips unmoving from yours.

You felt yourself getting slight dizzy from both the shower heat and Miguel's antics. His hands gripped your ass as he bottomed out inside of you. Miguel swallowed your moans as he started to slap his dick into you.

"Fuck, look at my precious wife. Taking me in so well after so long. Such a good girl,"

"M-Miggy~ mhm~" You moaned, burying your head into his shoulder.

"The best baker giving me the best dessert."

You gasped sharply as Miguel hit your sweet spot, fucking that spot repeatedly. You tighten around his dick, crying out in pleasure as he kept filling you, kissing your cervix and kissing you.

It didn't take long for him to draw out your first orgasm. You were gasping for air, enjoying your high. Miguel grunted as he returned to your breasts, pounding his cock into your convulsing pussy, determined to fill you.

"Not done, baby." Miguel grunted, coating your insides white.

You shook in pleasure, holding onto to Miguel tightly. He brought you in for another kiss, turning the shower off. His hands were still all over you as he kept you on his cock. Miguel brought you over to the bed, setting a towel down first,

"You're squeezing me so much, baby. Doing so, so good." Miguel started to babble as he pressed you into mating position.

"Ah~ M-Miguel~!" You cried out, feeling him push himself deeper into you.

"Lets put another baby into you. Our son is going to need a sibling," Miguel chuckled lowly.

You arched your back as you moaned in pleasure once Miguel started his charade of rough thrusts again. Miguel held your arms above your head as he kept sucking the milk out of your breasts, groaning in pleasure.

"That's right baby, you did such a good job with our son. Enjoy your reward."

---------

You weren't sure how much longer you could last. Miguel had kept bulling his cock into you for what felt like hours. You swore you saw stars, heaven and whatever else from your many orgasms. Your body was so numb at this point, that it would probably collapse if Miguel wasn't holding you up.

"(Y/N)!" Miguel moaned as he filled you once more.

Panting heavily as he painted your insides white, Miguel finally pulled out. A smirk formed against his lips as he watched his cum spill out of your abused cunt. Glancing at the time, Miguel winced as picked you up, taking you back to the shower.

"Mig..."

"Sorry, I went overboard again," Miguel apologized as he set the water up, "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"Mhm," You muffled lowly as Miguel sat you between his legs in the bath, "So...you don't like sweets...but my breast milk made you go crazy?" You asked with a small laugh. Miguel felt flustered as he started to clean you,

"Yes," He admitted shamefully, "You smelled so, so good. I had to hold back so much." Miguel groaned, his fangs grazing your shoulder.

"I guess I'm just that good of a baker," You joked, shivering as his hands started to rub your clit, "Miguel~!"

"Just once more, please?" He begged, kissing your shoulder gently. You huffed your cheeks out since your body was already exhausted,

"J-Just once more!"

"That's my lovely wife~"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry this was so late again!! Trying to catch up as much as possible, haha. I hope you enjoyed!!!

[f1girliefics]

A Difficult Start

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Warning: mention of injury

Summary: You were a sweetheart, but he was taken.

When you became the social media manager for Max Verstappen, a new door opened for you and you met the other drivers.

Working for Red Bull and Max was amazing and exactly what you were looking for.

Helping and managing social media accounts, and taking pictures at times, you quickly became a part of the team.

When your eyes met Charles for the first time, it was strange. You felt a connection you couldn’t describe. 

It was as if you met your other half.

The problem?

The problem was the tall woman by his side.

The woman he probably didn’t even fully know.

That night, during your first meeting, you went to the bathroom when she came in with her friend.

The things she said about you.

You were disgusted. 

And you should have known to trust your instincts, she was indeed a bully.

And she further proved your point when she decided to pour her wine all over you.

She apologised but still couldn’t keep the smirk off of her face.

Nah, you won’t play her games.

Back then, you promised yourself that you wouldn’t allow her to do anything else to you.

And so far, you have managed to do just that.

Avoiding her and the Ferrari team was a good start.

But fate often had other ideas.

Somehow, no matter what you were doing, you ran into Charles.

You have been taking photos of the team for a year-book you wanted to have as a gift for everyone when you ran into him by accident. 

“Oh, sorry.” you said even before you saw who it was you ran into.

“It’s all good. Are you okay?” the accent was unmistakable. You looked up and nodded at Charles.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, you seem busy.”

“Oh, I’m taking pictures of the team.” you showed him your camera.

"That's nice! You always take such good pictures. I would hire you myself if I could but you are already... taken." it felt as if his words had a deeper meaning, but you tried not to search for it.

"Thank you very much. I'm glad my work is paying off." you smiled.

“It really is. Sorry, but I have to go, take care.” he smiled. He had such a gorgeous smile.

Then, everyone was invited to celebrate Max’s win. Or should you say another win?

Charles and his girlfriend was there of course and you could feel her eyes stabbing daggers into your back from afar.

She really didn’t like you, and you had to be ready in case she would do something.

You went to the bathroom and on your way back you noticed Charles standing alone, he looked at you as you got closer.

“Enjoying yourself?” he asked but the music was so loud you didn’t hear him, you leaned in closer as he leaned into your ear and asked the same thing.

You quickly nodded as an answer and he smiled.

This, apparently to his girlfriend, looked like flirting… her insecurities were showing.

“Don’t flirt with my boyfriend.” she said as she tried to pour another glass of wine on you, but your hand came up and the glass ended up on her.

You quickly spoke up.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t see your hand there!” you said and you just knew she would use this against you.

Make you out to be the jealous one and ruining her dress.

She stormed out with Charles following her.

You looked across the table and saw Carlos looking at you.

“I saw it.” he told you and you smiled. At least someone was on your side.

But your evening didn’t end there, why would it?

After her attempt at ruining at your dress, now it was suddenly her mission to break your ankles.

She tried to trip you up at least five times already, and it had been only two hours since you arrived.

But then, she took it too far.

She pushed you down a flight of stairs.

“Oh my Gosh! Y/N!” you heard her yell. “Someone quick, she fell down! She had too much to drink!” you would have cared if it wasn’t for the throbbing pain in your wrist. But the red blinking of a camera pointing right at the stairs did give you some ease.

You were taken to the hospital where they determined that you had broken your wrist.

As you thought back the noise of your bone breaking kept on making you cringe.

“There was a camera, check the footage, I didn’t fall, she pushed me.” you informed the police after you called them into the hospital.

You were there when they arrested her.

Her story went from blaming you for drinking to saying she was trying to catch you and finally, she said it was all an accident and she never touched you.

They saw the footage, but her constantly changing story was also raising many red flags.

“The footage from the club clearly shows you pushing Miss Y/L/N. You are arrested for assault and will be brought in for questioning.” said the officer once he had enough of her drama.

You quickly turned and walked back to work.

You avoided everything expect for the police when they came to interview you or called you for updates.

You just worked.

Then a week passed.

Two weeks.

A month.

Now, you were in Monaco getting ready for the next race.

You had your laptop as you posted more photos of the Team and Max, you all were excited for the weekend as usual.

It was difficult to find a quiet corner but when you finally did, you were very glad.

You worked for about two hours in silence when you heard someone approaching.

“Hi.” he said as he came around the corner.

“Hello Charles.”

“I see you needed a quiet moment as well.” he said as he sat down at the table across from you.

“I did. I can leave if you need yours.”

“No, you can stay.” he said, silence followed, rather uncomfortable silence which he ended up breaking. “I’m sorry. I should have said this sooner, but I’m sorry about my ex.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“She told me you were jealous of her, I found it strange, you don’t seem the kind who would pour wine on a person for that… And then the police showed me the video. I am truly sorry, Y/N.”

“She thought I would steal you from her.”

“All she wanted is my money. She always asked me to buy her new things. I later found out she sold a couple things and the others she kept, she went around and showed it to everyone.”

“She was a bitch.”

“Yes.” he agreed immediately. “I just hope we can start a friendship.” you smiled at him and nodded.

“I’d like that.” he smiled as well.

— a year later —

As usual, the Pit was loud, with people talking, engineers checking the cars, and teams discussing the strategies, you even saw Carlos a couple times talking to everyone in the Ferrari pit.

You were walking from the AlphaTauri pit back to the Red Bull Racing one when someone grabbed you.

“Gosh! Stop scaring me like that!” you said as you almost dropped your camera.

“Sorry.” Charles laughed at you. 

“Excited for today?” you asked and he nodded like a child in a candy store.

“I have a great chance at winning I feel like.”

“I hope you do. But even if you don’t we will have a party.” although your relationship with Charles started with turbulences, you two managed to work it all out.

“Will you wear the red dress?”

“Only if you win.” you smiled with mischief as he pulled you closer and placed a quick kiss on your lips.

“I will win. I have to see you in red.” you pulled him in for one last quick kiss before he had to leave. "You will see."

You were certainly looking forward to seeing him on that podium. 

[bsxcrxts]

beautiful

Tech x fem!reader

MINORS DNI. AGE IN BIO TO INTERACT WITH MY WORKS.

Contains: reader has an afab body, feminine aligned lingerie descriptions, mirror sex, consensual and informed filming of a sex tape, reader who is insecure about their appearance, fingering, piv sex, teasing, questionable Star Wars terminology, fully armored Tech (touch of helmet kink?) and nude reader, Tech praising reader and being a bit of a soft!dom but nothing crazy, classic Tech rambles

Word Count: 2.9k. I was a woman possessed. Can't shut up to save my life

A/N: I'm crazy. He is literally pixels. Not proofread because I'm convinced I've gone off the deep end.

"I understand there can be an urge to be particularly critical of one's own body, but trust in my assessment that you're objectively very attractive," Tech says.

"I don't know, Tech, I guess I just don't see it," you pout a bit. "I don't think I'm 'all that'. What I've got is fine, I guess. But I have more flaws than features."

Tech's eyes narrow slightly at your phrasing. "In our time together, have I not sufficiently appreciated your beauty?" he asks almost softly, like the idea that he could have somehow contributed to this viewpoint unnerves him.

"It's not you, it's.... it's just the way I've always thought about myself, I guess."

"You are beautiful," Tech insists.

"Alright. Prove it," you answer almost playfully, knowing Tech will take it as a challenge, and curious to see where this will go.

"Prove it?" Tech repeats, and you can already see the wheels turning in that enhanced mind of his, "I can and I shall, love."

"Can't wait to see what you think up," you say, and kiss him lightly on the cheek encouragingly before the conversation moves on to something else entirely, and you put it out of your mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little more than a week goes by, and you haven't truly thought of the conversation since. Your relationship with your looks isn't necessarily something you like to dwell on, instead choosing to somewhat ignore it and never address your thoughts about your body. Tech, however, hasn't stopped thinking about it; hasn't stopped thinking about ways he could convince you of your own beauty, to make you see yourself as he sees you. And it doesn't help that the idea that he's settled on is particularly filthy, either.

Tech already has an affinity for filming things. Anyone who knows him well will tell you that he's nearly always recording a holo, though he admits his typical motivation is far less scandalous and mostly for strategic purposes. Not this time.

There's a mirror sitting inconspicuously in the corner of the room. He's obtained a gift box containing a very special secret.

Now all he has to do is convince you to play along.

It isn't difficult.

"Do you remember the conversation we had about your perception of your physical features?" Tech ventures late one evening, after a mission. He's not even out of his armor before he can't resist asking. The tension between the two of you is already high; he's watched your eyes rake up and down his form twice in the past fifteen minutes alone.

You look up at him, curious as to where this conversation is going.

"Sure, I remember," you say nonchalantly, not conveying your eager nervousness.

"I believe I have engineered a situation where in I can 'prove' your beauty to you."

"Really?" you raise an eyebrow at him. "Okay, I'm listening."

"A good start... Perhaps you may even wish to do more than listen," Tech says, timber of his voice a bit lower than usual; his tone taking on an inviting and sensual edge, handing over the gift box to you. You feel your face flush as his tone hints at a certain suggestiveness unexpectedly.

This has not necessarily been an easy decision making process for Tech– he's generally confident, yet prone to overthinking when it comes to such gestures, and he hopes he hasn't read this situation wrong. He's comfortable with you, and doesn't want to risk making you feel uneasy or push you to dwell on your physicality unnecessarily. But it was, after all, your invitation that urged him to come up with a situation that 'proved' your physical attractiveness. Nonetheless, he's a touch anxious as you start to tear open the gift he's handed you.

The feeling melts away into a hopeful yearning as he watches your eyes widen and mouth curl into a smile as you hold up the delicate lingerie you've just unwrapped.

"You are beautiful, and the logic follows that you deserve beautiful things," Tech explains.

Your eyes dart over the fabric, or lack thereof, speechless for a moment. "Where did you even find this?" you finally manage to get out.

"Well, that was quite the endeavor. However, I am more interested in discussing whether or not you like it," he answers. "Perhaps you'd like to try it on?" he suggests, not at all inconspicuous.

Nodding, and quickly shutting yourself in the 'fresher, you find yourself staring at the sheer fabric once again. The cut is a bit like an extremely short dress, fabric only just hitting the tops of your thighs, and entirely see-though. The material hugs your chest, plunging far below anything you've ever worn where it ties in the middle. There's a matching thong that barely covers anything, but after you put everything on, you look at yourself briefly and think that you might actually look good.

Not wanting to keep Tech waiting, you emerge from the refresher into your bedroom, shyly crossing your arms in front of your chest, unsure of what else to do.

"Well, here I am," you gesture with a shrug.

You watch as Tech's eyes momentarily roam over your figure behind the amber filter of his goggles, before he pauses to look you in the eyes.

"Exquisite," he breathes, before the questions start. "Do you find the material comfortable? Is it a suitable fit?"

"I don't know if comfort is what the designers had in mind," you chuckle.

"Ah, yes. You bring up an excellent point. Then..." Tech pauses for a moment, motioning for you to step closer to him, and he guides you to where the mirror sits, propped up in the corner of the room. He stands behind you, lightly touching your bare shoulders.

"Does the outfit please you?" he asks lowly, and a heat settles deep in your stomach rather suddenly at his words. There's the solid feeling of his armor behind you, cool against your flushed skin.

Your face heats.

"Sure, I like the way it looks," you concede. And you do; it's a gorgeous set, a thoughtful gift, the way it lays against your skin is mesmerizing, and the way Tech is looking at you right now is striking a need within you.

He notices the way you don't compliment yourself, but the garment instead. But he also notices the way your heart is racing, and how you're looking at his reflection in the mirror. Of course he does; Tech notices everything.

"Thank you, baby," you say in his silence, twisting in his arms and planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Maybe I could thank you properly for it?" you suggest playfully, running a finger down the chest plate of his armor, and it's cheesy, but you often enjoying how Tech reacts to an overt advance.

He seems to ponder for a moment, the corner of his mouth pulling into a slight smile. "There is another element of my proposition I have not yet divulged," he begins slowly, as if he is convinced he'll startle you.

"More surprises?" you banter a bit, but Tech is intensely focused on you.

"Would you like to see yourself as I see you?" he ventures, holding your gaze.

"Meaning..?"

"I would like to record us as we are intimate. I would like for you to see how beautiful you truly are. I would like for you to watch the holo when we are finished and know the adoration and lust I feel for you, mesh'la."

Your face can't get any more hot, blood rushing to your cheeks as you nod, agreeing instantly, wordlessly.

"There is one more thing. I suggest the focus shall be entirely on you this evening."

"Wouldn't say no to that," you laugh a tiny bit, self conscious. You're weak in the knees, leaning forward towards him, hanging on his every word, trusting him though your embarrassment at having so much attention on you threatens to overwhelm you.

"You're even more alluring when you're flustered," Tech confesses, and meets you in the middle, kissing you. For his reserved nature, Tech is a passionate lover, wholly dedicated to you, and when he kisses you like this, you moan softly against his mouth.

When the two of you part, you expect him to remove his armor, strip down as he normally does. But what you do not expect is for him to pick up his helmet and put it on, quickly spinning you around to face the mirror again as he practically drags you onto the bed.

"Tech, what–" you start.

"It is as I have just stated," his voice crackles through the helmet, his eyes intense, "this evening's primary function is to focus on you, and your beauty, love. This is to prevent distractions."

At this, you gasp. You have to wonder if he means that you'd be distracted by him, or if he'd be distracted by you and deviate from whatever plot he's clearly planned for the night. It's very difficult not to be caught up in his reflected image in the mirror before you, the lingerie against his armor painting a stark difference. You've never had him like this, your bare thighs bumping up against his own armored ones, your ass rubbing against his codpiece already.

It's a heady feeling, not knowing how his body is reacting to you, being relegated to seeing the emotions in his eyes only, reflected back to you in the mirror before you.

"Are you ready, love?" Tech's voice breaks your concentration over his body, as he raises a hand to his specs to being recording.

"Yes," you whine, sure you're ruining the scrap of lace that's passing for underwear you've got on, just from the way he's looking at you right now, and he starts recording.

Tech's left arm extends across your chest, palming your tits and pulling you securely against his body. He's still wearing his gloves; the image of the dark, rough fabric against the delicate lace of the lingerie makes your head spin. You watch in the mirror as his other hand leaves the edge of his goggles, trailing down, down, down towards your lower stomach, pausing at the hemline of your already soaked panties.

His touch is light, and you tilt your head back against his shoulder. In the mirror, you can't help but catch his gaze, watching him intently focus on you.

"Don't look at me, look at yourself," Tech instructs as he catches you eyeing him, and your eyes snap back to where his hand rests on your abdomen.

He traces his touch lower still, gloved hand suddenly cupping your sex, drawing his fingers across you still-clothed cunt. He's hardly even touching you, his index and middle finger spreading the fabric tight over your swollen clit, obviously eyeing the way you've already soaked the tiny scrap of fabric. Slowly, he drags a finger along your slit, feeling the wetness there before he shoves the thong to the side, exposing your dripping cunt to your line of sight in the mirror.

"Have you ever seen yourself in such a state, mesh'la?" Tech starts, almost smug. "I know I have evoked a similar reaction in you before, but I doubt you have ever seen the picture you make."

You shake your head slightly, panting as your eyes lock on the way the two of you look together in your reflection. Tech, appearing as composed as ever, the only visible part of his body his eyes, and you, practically dripping in scraps of lace in front him him. He has hardly touched you. It's sin, it's debauchery, it's perfection.

Tech's fingers slide across your clit, and your body practically jolts in his arms.

"What does that word mean?" you choke out.

"Which one?" Tech raises an eyebrow behind his golden google lens, and though you feel ruined already, you don't miss how his tone is blatantly teasing you as if to remind you of his enhanced mind.

"Mm–" you start, cut off by your own moans as Tech's still-gloved fingers rub your clit expertly.

"Enunciate," he comments, and you clench around nothing, Tech having yet to even tease your hole. He's playing with you in a way not unlike how you'd touch yourself if you were alone; but then again, he has always been perceptive, it's almost unsurprising he's memorized the patterns that please you the most.

"Mesh'la?" you repeat, more clearly, trying to focus. "You call me that, sometimes."

"It is Mando'a," Tech states, and begins educating you on the subject, despite his hand being splayed across your cunt and you in his arms. "Mando'a was the native language of the man who was the genetic foundation for all clones. As such, I have found it pertinent to maintain a basic knowledge of terminology. 'Mesh'la' means beautiful, and I call you that because that is what you are."

Your eyes wander to him in the reflection and watch as he explains this, keening against his body, desperately trying to get him to give you more. His intense stare meets yours in the mirror, and unable to help yourself, you let out a moan, turning your head in a futile attempt to kiss him, any part of him, helmet or not.

Tech doesn't allow this break in concentration, no matter how brief.

"You must pay attention," Tech scolds, and moves his hand from your tits to you chin, correcting your gaze. At the same moment, he slides two fingers into your dripping pussy.

It sends shock waves down your spine.

"Fuck," you gasp, writhing against him, skin and lace colliding with the hard plastoid of his armor behind you.

"Look at your pretty little cunt, mesh'la."

Tech doesn't talk like that unless he's becoming an unraveled mess himself. You see an opportunity in his words.

"Look even better with your cock inside me," you whine.

Tech's breath stutters behind you, and one of his hands leaves your body for a moment. You feel him moving behind you, hear the click of him removing his codpiece, and before you can even think, you're pushing your ass back towards him, grinding on his hard cock, finally able to feel him.

A soft gasp escapes from his lips behind the mask, and you barely catch the sound, but it pleases you all the same.

He swiftly removes the ruined thong that's been pushed to the side until now, then pulls at the ribbon at the center of the lingerie, undoing the delicate piece and practically tossing it to the side. You are finally fully exposed against him, and you suspect he is as unclothed as he will ever be during this particular romp, cock rutting between your thighs. Still, he doesn't push into your dripping cunt, just toys with you, running his cock along your folds.

If his intention was to take you apart as you suspect, he is doing an incredible job.

"Fuck me," you cry out as the tip of his cock catches on your clit suddenly as he shifts behind you. "Please just fuck me, I want you," you insist as you stare at your nude form in the mirror, the contrast of Tech's fully armored form with his cock between your legs causing you to try and rock down against him wantonly.

You catch Tech's eyes flutter a bit, and his cock jerks against your pussy. He wants to. But he wants something else more.

"Admit you are beautiful."

"What..?" you practically moan, momentarily forgetting how this all started in the first place. The blinking of his goggles recording the entire session flusters you again.

"Say how gorgeous you are, my love, and I will give you my c-cock."

The stutter is new; his resolve is close to breaking. But he wants.

"I-"

"Do you not think you look beautiful right now? You said it yourself; you will look even moreso on my cock. Say it," he says almost softly, encouragingly, the tone of his voice intoxicating from behind his helmet.

"I-I look... pretty," you concede.

His cock slides into your wet, warm cunt.

"I suppose that adjective is ah-acceptable, but you are more than just pretty," Tech insists, snapping his hips against you, and you watch as his cock sinks into you in the reflection of the mirror, gasping.

"You are enticing." Thrust.

"Stunning." Thrust.

"Perfect." Thrust.

You've never finished so soon. He's hardly been inside you for any time at all before you're clenching around him at his words, moaning his name and gasping as you watch yourself cum around his cock. Tech follows you not long after, pulling out and spilling across your lower back as he relinquishes any semblance of control he's had during the session, moaning your name.

He quickly ceases recording, removing his helmet and softly laying you down on the bed, also taking off some of the more restrictive elements of his armor so he could hold you, no stranger to the potential comfort you might need in the moment.

After a second, you smile softly, and still a bit shyly up at him, leaning in to kiss him as you had not been able to before. When the two of you break from the kiss, Tech is still gazing at you.

"You are very precious to me," he states simply.

"Thank you," you say quietly, tucking your head under his chin. "For all of it."

"Anything, mesh'la."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: um. so. any interest in a bonus drabble where Tech has you watch the holo? (idea courtesy of the lovely Ezra milfgreedo)

[anneangel]

Sherlock Holmes: I'm looking for someone to share 221B Baker Street. John H. Watson: I consider myself qualified to fill this gap. Sherlock Holmes: I'm also looking for someone loyal and trustworthy, who doesn't ask stupid things, does what I say, ignores my experiments and chemicals around the apartment, doesn't mind customers showing up at any time of the day or midnight, someone helpful and who accompanies me in investigations, participates with me in police and criminal investigations even if it bring subsequent risks, praises me until I blush, doesn't try to steal the spotlight for themselves and, instead, makes me the protagonist of a investigative detective story that lasts for years and years, who understands my ego, is tolerant with my drug use, is not spiteful and forgives me whenever I'm overly practical seeming like an reasoning-machine without emotionless, someone who does not feel personally attacked every time I leave you out of my plans and understand my silence and preference for not being a sociable person, and someone that only tell stories about me when I want to disclose and give permission for it, someone who knows how to list more positives things than negatives about me naturally, be a true friend and partner in easy and difficult times, and stays by my side regardless of the circumstances and holds me in the highest esteem, proving our productive and irreverent union as a dynamic duo. John H. Watson: Hey, that's a lot of requirements. But consider myself capable. I want to try. Where do I sign? Can I test this for a month? Sherlock Holmes: my dear, if you stay for a month, it's a sign that you'll be addicted to my queerly peculiar and unique presence for the rest of your life. If gets for a month, you might even try to leave me, but you'll come back. You'll come back. John H. Watson: Interesting. Where do I sign? Sherlock Holmes: you already love my presence, you are already fascinated. John H. Watson: Is it obvious? Sherlock Holmes: don't break the clauses, my dear, no stupid questions. You haven't broken eye contact with me since we started this conversation, you've been smiling since the beginning, you've looked at my appearance and haven't been shaken by what I said, you lean towards me as I speak, showing interest, you mirror my movements. More important, you seems nervous and wants to please me. And add, you likes read mysteries romances. And have a callus on your right little finger, you like to write down your experiences and you do it often, if you are going to live with me, you 'll write about our adventures because you 'll be part of them. On the other hand, you went to war and suffered injuries, but you don't complain about the service provided, this shows altruism and subservience, and you chose medicine, not for money but because you care about others more than yourself, it is a profession which demands care for the lives of others. And you are too empathetic towards others. So it's clear that you wouldn't mind putting me first, you 're humble. More, is eager for adrenaline and is particularly curious about what I can offer to you. John H. Watson: Bless my, this is fantastic, you are incredible, brilliant. Sherlock Holmes: That's promising. John H. Watson: Couldn't agree more, bless Stamford.

[goldenchunkycat]

Jake as your Alpha

[Hum. HUMHUM. Boyyy, I literally can't believe myself. Just thinking about two of the thing I like the most at the momentt makes me sweat and blush. Thirst under the cut !]

You would be a nice and quiet Omega (remember guys, shy people supremacy on this blog). Always agreeing with everyone and being nice to the meanies. Some people of the clan would actually make fun of you, even bully you. But well, it's a hierarchy thing and you, darling, are at the bottoooooom of it. So it's not surprise, even to you.

But your life changed when you met Jake. He was the chosen one, the elect of Eywa. When Neytiri brought him to the Hometree, you fell in love. Like literally. You fell in front of him. Pretty you gathered your things and ran away, avoiding eye contact with the big and strong Alpha and glowing like a freaking star. Jake would be in love IMMEDIATELY. Like, you are pretty, shy, you seem nice and you smell good. You were the perfect little Omega, right ?

Right. He couldn't have been farther away from the truth. I'm not gonna start on the 'yOu WeRe DiFfErEnT bEcAuSe YoU dId NoT bElIeVe ThAt An OmEgA nEeDeD aN AlPhA aNd YoU wErE a BaDaSs'. No. You understood that pairing an Alpha and an Omega wasn't just about 'hierarchy and strength', it was about 'protection and needs'. As an Omega you lacked skills in certain domain and excel in others, just like an Alpha would. You did not needed an Alpha, you wanted one. And despite having a rough start with Jake who accidentally mansplain to you the second time you met, he eventually understood what he did wrong and your point of view.

Even if seeing him was difficult because of his 'Na'vi' training, you were finally able to spend more time with each other after the bad events which occurred. And you started to flirt, to learn about each other, to spend some quality time. And he started to show you that he was very much interested in you, despite what the clan kept on telling him. Because those guys, and don't get me wrong they weren't mean, would propose him to mate an Alpha, one who would be just as strong as him, because Jake was a hero, a warrior. But he would politely reject them because he only had his eyes on you. The sweet Omega who weren't able to shoot an arrow and hurt a fly, the sweet Omega who was particularly skilled in crafting outfits and make jewelry. His sweet Omega.

"Omega, what do you think about your big and strong warrior ?"

"Did you see me at the ceremony? I was wearing the necklace that you gifted me. I was so handsome while wearing it that some guys fell in love with me."

"It's cuddle time, let's go back to our nest." "..." "I know that we're having a feast. But it's cuddle time..."

He would be the sweetest Alpha to you. Showing you that he could provide you the love you needed to be blooming and proving you that he possessed the strength to protect you against anyone or anything. And it means those bullies too. He would only glance at them, frowning, and they would lower their head, showing their respect and understanding that they couldn't mess with you anymore. Since this day they never annoyed you again.

Now let's get into the real sht. Alpha!Jake would be so gentle in bed. You want to cum ? Why are you asking darling, go ahead and do it. Praises praises a lot of PRAISES. You are his good girl, you NEED to know that you're making him feel good. He would worship your body. Kissing every single area of your skin, nipping on it and leaving hickeys on the place he knew you couldn't hide to the clan member's eyes. Because they need to know that you are not the same Omega that they used to know and tease. You were Jake's Omega, and he was his Omega's Alpha.

Alpha!Jake would gently hold your hair while you're sucking his dick, telling you how good you are with your tongue. He would rest your legs on his shoulder while eating you out because he don't want you to have cramps the next day. He would always make sure that. you are comfortable, no matter if he's fucking you on the ground, the table, or behind against a wall after you two slip out of a social event. He would hold your hands while making love to you, panting and moaning right next to your ear because he wants to show you this side of him to you and only you. He would cum on your stomach and rub his cum all over you because he wants you to smell like him. He would constantly touch you when you're done with your business, wondering if he should impregnate you one more time. Just to be sure that you're pregnant with his child.

"Those hips, they are perfect to give birth."

"Honey, you're so cute. You make me feel so good. Did you just clenched ? My good Omega loves being praised. Sweet."

"Now you're all good to go. Covered in my cum and in my scent."

Masterlist

[sukimas]

The primary difference between gods and youkai in Touhou is of course that gods inspire awe rather than disgust. I've discussed this before.

Now, the differences between yuurei and youkai might be a little more difficult to pick up on, especially when a lot of them are spawned from similar circumstances (rejection, betrayal, othering.) Yuurei of course die from those circumstances while youkai don't really. But much more importantly, in terms of Touhou, yuurei were hurt, and remain hurt. Their existences are quintessentially defined by their suffering and regret; vengeful spirits are defined by unending anger, funayuurei by their own drowning, common yuurei are simply humans who weren't buried properly and thus cannot pass on. They both suffer and cause suffering.

Youkai, meanwhile, are beings that were initially defined by rejection. This may have caused them to hate and resent humanity at first, but they're not supposed to do that (see Eiki's lecture to Medicine); a youkai cannot survive off of that sort of notion. Youkai are nigh-universally (barring some very unwell- and I do mean physically unwell here- exceptions) happy with their current situations. They exist to cause others to feel fear, rather than feeling it themselves. They do not attack humans because of a desire for vengeance. They attack humans because they enjoy it; because they are defined as beings by enjoying the exercise of their own power, because they pass their curses onto others instead of being cursed themselves.

I think that this a key insight to understanding a fairly large number of youkai. In particular, some of the underground ones; Parsee enjoys being able to inflict jealousy even though she's often jealous herself, and Satori loves the ability to read minds even though she's hated for it. The reason that Koishi closed off her heart was because of rejection from other youkai, not from humans!

It's also key, though, to understanding the youkai that interface with the outside world. Mamizou has every right to look at humans with hatred and allow her life to be defined by it; they destroyed her home while she was there, they terrorized her into Gensoukyou. And yet she loves hanging around with them in Gensoukyou, even though she secretly dreams about how the humans of the outside world scare her. She loves exercising her superiority over them, too: "Ho ho ho!" and all that.

Yukari is similar; though she has plenty of reason to despise humanity, she... doesn't.

She resents their abandonment of things they don't need, certainly, and plots to take it all back. But she doesn't hate them. They're her funny, dear, pathetic creatures.

As with Mamizou, her relationship to humans is simply one of predation and exploitation. A youkai who misses the noise of the city. A youkai who adores violence, even when she has nothing to prove; there's little reason to talk how much she loves the scent of death in front of Okina (who can always tell if she's lying) and Sumireko (who would surely just think it was cool, rather than fearing her like she'd want) if she intends to play a role.

If anything, she hides that violent side around humans she needs to trust her. Compare her initial conversation with Reimu to those she has with Marisa and Sakuya; only when talking to the shrine maiden, who she needs to not see her as a threat, does she not bring up murder.

...Of course, I'm getting away from myself a bit. But Yukari ultimately sees humans as lesser than she is. They are not something to "take revenge on", because there's no reason to take revenge on something that gave you the greatest gift of your existence. (Other youkai we get the internality of seem to see them similarly) They are something to take advantage of to make her own life better. If it happens in a way that's ironic considering what happened to her, well, all the better; but that isn't what defines her. What defines all youkai is that they hunt humans. Nothing more, and nothing less. Without that, they would not be youkai.

Contrast Mima; though she's less developed than our dear current vengeful spirit, her raison d'etre is "to take revenge on the entire human race". Until she has accomplished that, she cannot rest; this is quite literally preventing her from dying, and once she achieves it, she will be at peace. She needs to do this; it is the very purpose for which she was reborn. What defines vengeful spirits is their desire for revenge. Nothing more, and nothing less. Without that, they would not be vengeful spirits.

So.

Youkai are differentiated from vengeful spirits in that they exist to prey on humans, rather than to take revenge on humans. They do this because they pass on curses to others rather than be cursed themselves. The method of choice for youkai barring those with more spiritual requirements for sustenance is to kill and eat humans; those with more spiritual requirements still often kill humans (and do eat some part of the human; whether it be magical power, fear, or jealousy.) They are defined by consumption and exploitation; they have become the powerful, rather than the powerless, and enjoy this ability to exploit. Youkai who do not enjoy this kill themselves.

Yukari is a youkai; one whose interface with the world is quite physical. Just look at her. She is made of eyes and hands. Therefore, the method she utilizes for exploitation and consumption must thematically be quite physical as well. She happily sees herself as a youkai of this nature, too.

For all of the above reasons, it's completely thematically incoherent for Yukari Yakumo to not kill and eat humans with enthusiasm.

[vividbloosom]

Drunk sorrow

Drunk!LeonKennedy x Female!Reader

Summary: Leon is drunk, longing for you.

Warning: mentions of alcohol

I broke up with Leon, my boyfriend of 3 years, a month ago because he barely had time for me due to his job. I thought it would be better that way. We wouldn't keep hurting each other...but the truth is this hurt more. I keep thinking about him, missing his smile, his touches, his voice...everything. I laid in my bed thinking about him...like every other night. My ringtone pulled me out from my thoughts, so I reached for my phone. Leon said the caller ID. I froze in my spot and frowned but picked it up. "Leon?" I said quietly. "Hey, are you y/n?" An unknown voice from the other line said and I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Um yeah, where is Leon ...is he okay?" I asked worried, what was going on. "I'm one of the employee at Angel Bar. I am calling you because Leon is very drunk, he kept saying your name and we're closing soon. Can you pick him up?" The employee said. "Be there in 15 minutes." I murmed getting out of my bed and put some clothes on. I quickly rush to my car, my heart pounding with a mix of concern and hesitation.

As I drive to the bar, memories flood my mind. The late nights waiting for him to come home, the missed anniversaries and birthdays, the constant feeling of being second to his job. It was a difficult decision to end our relationship, but I knew it would be better this way. When I arrive at Angel Bar, I park the car and take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself to face Leon again. I step inside, scanning the room until I spot him sitting at the bar, slouched over with a somber expression on his face. The bartender gives me a sympathetic look as I approach. "Thank you for coming," he says softly. "He's had quite a few drinks tonight." Approaching Leon cautiously, I place a hand on his shoulder, trying to rouse him gently. "Leon, it's me. I'm here to take you home," I say softly, my voice filled with a mix of concern and unresolved emotions.

Leon looks up at me, his eyes filled with a mixture of surprise and longing. "You came?" he asks, his voice slightly slurred. I nod, "Of course I came. You're still important to me, Leon, even after all this time." There's a part of me that wants to scold him, to ask why the fuck would he get drunk like this, but I push those thoughts aside for now. He looks remorseful, his eyes filled with regret. "I'm sorry, Y/N," he mumbles, his words slurred. "I messed up. I've been a terrible boyfriend, always prioritizing work over us."

I sigh, a mix of frustration and longing washing over me. "Yes, you were," I reply honestly. Leon's gaze drops, and he nods slowly. "I know I messed up, Y/N. I've been carrying the weight of that regret the entire month, I still fucking love you, and I want to be a better boyfriend for you." His voice cracks and he sobs. My heart aches at his words, the old feelings resurfacing. But I can't let myself be swayed so easily. "Leon, you are drunk. I don't wanna talk about this." I sigh and look away frowning. His eyes glisten with unshed tears as he reaches out to hold my hand. "I understand, Y/N...but please just give me another chance. I want to prove to you that I can be the partner you deserve." He pleads and sobs. "Lee, we will talk about this once you are sober, okay?" I reassure him and wipe his tears. "Come on, I'm gonna drive you home." I say and pull him up gently. "N-no...I don't wanna be alone." He sobs and grips me. "Please." He pleads and my heart is shattered. I sigh and smile sadly. "Okay..." We make our way out of the bar, Leon leaning on me for support. "Thank you..." He sobs as we walk to my car. I make sure his seatbelt is on and start driving to my home, a silence hangs heavy in the air, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

When we finally arrive, I help him inside, guiding him to the couch. He looks up at me, his eyes filled with regret. Sitting down beside him, I take a moment to gather my thoughts. "Leon, I can see that you're hurting, and I don't want you to keep carrying that pain. We both deserve happiness, but it has to be in a way that works for both of us." He nods, his expression filled with a mix of gratitude and longing. "I want to start working on myself, trying to find a better balance. I want to be a better partner, someone who can be there for you. But I can't do this without you." A frown covers his face, puffy eyes from crying. A part of me wants to believe his words, to give our relationship another chance. But I know that trust takes time to rebuild, and there are no guarantees. "Leon, but it's going to take more than just promises. We both need to put in the effort to make it work."

He looks at me, determination flickering in his eyes. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes, to prove to you that I can change. I love you, and I don't want to lose you completely." He says and I take a deep breath, contemplating his words. It's a risk, a leap of faith, but maybe, just maybe, we can find a way to make it work. "Go and take a shower...we can talk about this tomorrow, okay?" I ask and he nods getting up. "I will bring you a towel...and some clothes." I murm remembering I still have a pair of his sweatpants and a hoodie. He walks to the bathroom and I take the clothes, bringing them to him. Once he spots what I'm holding he grins. "I was searching for that..." He murms with a sheeplish smile. "Looks better on you anyway." He smiles like a dork making me chuckle and shake my head.

I leave the bathroom and walk to the kitchen, getting water and some pain killers for Leon tomorrow. After a few minutes Leon comes from the bathroom wearing the hoodie and sweatpants. My heart flutters at the sight of him, hair wet, messy and cheeks red from the warm water. "I can sleep on the couch...I made you enough trouble..." He says nervously and I just nod. "Um- Ill bring you some pillows and a duvet." I say and get up to the bedroom. I would love to have him in the bed next to me...but I can't do that. Bringing the stuff back to the living room, I prepare it for him as he sits and watches me. "Drink some water..." I nod towards the glass filled with water on the table and he hums in response reaching for it and drinking it. He lays on the couch, I cover him with the duvet. "Sleep now..." I say and stand up. "Thank you...I love you." He murms but I can see that he is half asleep. I sigh and bite my lip. "I love you too.." I mumble under my breath and go to my room to sleep.

I keep tossing in my bed, not able to sleep. Leon, Leon, Leon, Leon...Leon won't leave my mind. I hear noises from the living room...tossing and turning...then hear his voice. A nightmare. He's having a nightmare. I instantly make my way to the living room, flicking the light from my room so its not so dark. I spot his face, brows knitted together, sweat sliding on his forhead as he murms and cries from his sleep. I cup his cheeks gently. "Leon...hey, you are safe..." I whisper. "Don't hurt her...y/n..." He cries and i frown, shaking him a little. He opens his eyes and catches his breath. He then sees me and sighs relieved. "Hey, hey...it's okay, you are okay." I reasure him, pull him up and he stands up. "What are you-" He says between deeo breaths. "I'm not letting you sleep here..." I say and lead him to my room. He gets under the covers with me and I hold him in my arms. "I never want you to leave me..." He says quietly and hides his face in the crook of my neck. "I'm not leaving...I promise." I reasure him and kiss his head. He relaxes and soon we are both asleep holding each other.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for repeatedly losing my temper at my kinda-friend? I (17F) have anger issues and I'm working on mitigating it, however, losing my temper always involves yelling and insulting people. Usually I think this is bad and apologize profusely when I lose control.

However, this kinda-friend (16F) who I'll call E, has absolutely no respect for other people's personal belongings, space, or time. She always grabs and plays with my things during class, or our mutual friend's items (16F), and as all three of us are artists, we carry around pretty expensive equipment. (Think Micron ink pens, Winsor & Newton paint, Derwent pencils, etc., just as reference. Thankfully no Copics lmao.)

The mutual friend will be referred to as J.

So, E has been told by both of us to stop taking our art supplies and playing with it, to the point where I'll yell sometimes, and she absolutely refuses to listen to us. She'll claim that she's forgotten what we've told her and put down the item just for her to pick it up again five seconds later. The problem is that she sometimes breaks these items or injures us - she'll play with my x-acto blade and cut me, or break J's graphite pencils, or push my watercolor palette off the desk. I've really tried to be patient about it, but it's proving to be difficult.

J is quite soft spoken, so I end up doing most of the reprimanding. E also brings up inappropriate topics that make J and I uncomfortable, as well as disturbing us when we're busy and then sulking when she doesn't get our immediate attention - once I told her three times to let me do my classwork before snapping, and E cried. She never does anything in school and hates all of our teachers, so she's pretty rude to them. All my work gets copied by her. She really annoys me, but I do feel terrible that I seem to lose control so often around E, since no one deserves to be yelled at.

However, this all came to a peak today when R (16M) and I won prizes for winning a mini-game and asking an interesting question during a seminar at school respectively; the gift was a black notebook that I didn't even like, which is an important tidbit to keep in mind. R left his gift still wrapped in his bag when he left the classroom for break time, so it was just J, E, and myself in there. Upon seeing what I had unwrapped, E went to R's bag and opened it - since all four of us are friends, we thought E was just being "jokingly" invasive as usual and were on alert, but didn't stop her.

J asked what she was doing and E said she was grabbing the gift out of R's bag. This caught my attention, so I asked why she was doing that. E told us that she wanted the book, and when J reminded her that the gift was, in fact, not hers, E said (and I wish I was kidding because this is replaying in my head in 4K HD right now like oh my god pls) "I know. It should be mine." Had she asked for my notebook, I would've given it up happily. I've got too many empty sketchbooks and notebooks at home.

I immediately stood up, but allowed J to handle the situation because I didn't trust myself not to react violently. J eventually lost her temper too and that's when I jumped in and started my yelling routine. I always feel bad whenever I do this, because it's not something I enjoy, but in this particular situation I just can't muster up the guilt? E is extremely irritating, but she tells us she has a horrible home life, so I try to be understanding. Except this was just completely intolerable. R even said that he'd predicted this would happen and to just give her the damn notebook - I vetoed that so we wouldn't enable E.

I really don't know if my reaction was overblown because I shouted a lot and said things like "you were given a brain - use it" and "you're a terrible person with no morals". It's ridiculous to say all that because it's (at the end of the day) high school drama, but I really can't understand why she acted that way. I don't know if I'm in the wrong in this situation. I wish she would listen when we tell her nicely not to do something, but even when I was blowing up at her, she was just smiling as if it was a joke. Should I apologize? I've apologized before when I lost my temper, but I have completely lost all will to be civil with her after this. The teachers are tired too - when she disappears from class or talks back, they just let her be. We can't really go to them because she'll feel betrayed and then get mad at us, which is a whole ordeal, because she's known to destroy and sabotage other people's items because of a grudge.

This is really lengthy. I apologize. I just feel terrible about the situation because I don't feel any guilt for my anger like I probably should. So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[lyrenminth]

Talk to me

Summary: Joe and you got in a discussion, so you went with your friend to get wasted and now Joe has to deal with your drunk ass.

Warnings: alcohol consumption.

Joe was watching film in his private room. After a discussion he always did that, avoiding conflict... avoiding you like a damn child. Still gets on your nerves when he does that because it is unfair and you're trying to make the things work here, and sometimes (most times actually) feels like you're the only one doing the work. Joe doesn't talk about his feelings quite often, he has an image to maintain even in front of his beloved ones. You wish he would open more to you, because during the season his moods are changing and it is difficult to understand what's going on. 

But this afternoon his behavior was unacceptable. 

"What?" You exclaimed, feeling anger gathering in your throat.

"I'm not going" he stated, simply, sitting on the couch staring at his phone.

"Joe, she is my best friend it's her wedding, I told you six months in advance" you said, not trying to hide your disappointment. He didn't even looked at you. 

Hiding, he was starting to walk away, not physically but you could see how is posture changed. 

"I went with you to all the events in your schedule,  and you cannot make a space for me?" you demanded.

"Well, you went because you wanted no because I asked you" he clarify, low voice.

You laughed, your stomach twisted and you felt nauseous.

"Just like that? I went because you're my partner, Joe. We're together, Mandy knows you since we started dating and she and everyone is going to asked me why my boyfriend of five years isn't with me!" you snapped, tears starting to build in your eyes. "You're such an asshole sometimes" you whispered before leaving the room.

After that discussion you decided not to stay in the house. You needed to stay away from him and reconsider everything. Because you did everything for him, and he couldn't do a simple thing for you and it hurt so much. 

Joe wasn't a bad partner, he was generous in private but his personality in private and in public were so different, sometimes you didn't know what to do.

You went to you room to got dressed with cute top with high rise jeans. After your discussion you talked to Mandy, and decided to get dinner and drinks together. 

Checking your bag in the kitchen before heading out, you caught a glimpse of Joe standing in the kitchen's door.

"Are you heading out?" he asked.

You nodded.

"Where are you going?" he crossed his arms.

"Do you even care?" you muttered under your breath.

"Baby..." he said, getting closer. You walked away from him, like his mere presence was the last thing you wanted to touch or see. It was partially true, if Joe touched you, it was over. The power he had over you was problematic to say the least. Besides, you made plans with Mandy already. "I know I'm an dick...I just...you know I'm not comfortable going to parties"

"You go to parties, just not my parties" you explained, flat.

He sighed, reaching for you. Unfortunately, his long arm reached your wrist. His other hand laying on your waist. The touch made your skin tingle, and his gaze...oh, Joe knew how to soft your heart.

"I'm sorry" he apologized, cupping your cheek "I'm going to Mandy's wedding, ok?"

"This is not the first time, Joe" you felt tears running down your cheeks "I need to be alone, let me go" 

"Can we talk when you comeback?" he wiped the tears away.

"May"

"Will you comeback?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Always" his blue eyes staring in concern. "I'm going to fix this"

"Can you?" you raised your eyebrows.

His eyes went dark. A challenge. Joe loved challenges. "Let me prove myself, darling" 

"I don't wanna do this if you feel obligated to do. I want you to be there because you want, because you want to spend time with me, Joe. Alright?"

He nodded, serious. "When are you going to comeback?"

"I don't know"

"I'll wait"

"As you wish" 

You walked towards the door, not glancing back once. Thankfully, your evening with Mandy went great, you drank until you started getting happier by the hour. Mandy didn't drank at all, since she was the designated driver.

Your dear friend took you home, ringing the bell of your house. You could barely stood up, but you smiled when Joe opened the door, glancing between both.

"Thank you for bringing her, home!" He said to Mandy before dragging you inside. 

"Bye bye!" You yelled. "I love you" sending kisses to Mandy who had a worried face "Joe! Joe!" you called him. 

"What? I'm here" he said annoyed, he was grabbing you by the waist to keep you steady.

"Helloo, Joe my love" you threw yourself at him, buried your face in his chest "My boyfriend has great tits!" you said, rubbing your face on his chest.

He laughed, and you felt the vibrations in his chest. 

"You're drunk as fuck, let's go to sleep" he said guiding you upstairs.

"Oh, but my boyfriend is going to get maaaad"

"Why?"

"I'm not a cheater!" you tried to move away from him but he grabbed you.

"I'm your boyfriend, dumbass" he said, half joking. Seeing you drunk it wasn't something Joe was used to.

"Are you?" you furrowed your eyebrows, confused.

"Yeah, like for years now. Now let's go to sleep!" 

"No! If we are a couple" you searched for his hand "Then we should make it +18" you whispered, laughing. 

Joe rolled his eyes. In the bedroom he helped you too undress, and he left you in underwear. You went to brush your teeth, and he watched you to help you if you threw up.

"Do you want to threw up?" he wondered once you were in bed, you shook your head.

"My boyfriend doesn't want me" you said instead, covering half of your face with the sheets. "He leaves me alone all the time"

"It seems like your boyfriend is a dick" he contemplated.

"Righhhht"

"But he loves you, it just that...he doesn't know how to express it properly most of the times" you listened carefully, and nodded. Joe continued "He...he struggles with his own feelings, but everytime you are around he is less stressed, less  worried. He's happier" 

"He doesn't spend time with me, though" you added.

He sighed.

"People need space sometimes. I live surrounded of people who don't truly care about me, just what I give them. I'm a dick for saying those things to you" he lowered his gaze to the floor like a scolded child. "And I like to spend time with you, but only you"

"Joe..." You came to your senses for a bit. "Just talk to me"

"I'll try" Joe sometimes felt like his emotions were tight knotted inisde him, a mess he didn't want to deal with most of the times.

"And come to sleep, I'm cold" you called him, making a space in bed.

He laughed. "Yes, ma'am"

[rainbow-nerdss]

Seven-ish sentence sunday!

Tagged by @devirnis @disasterbuckdiaz @exhuastedpigeon @daffi-990

I couldn't help myself, I'm writing a Bothered and Bewildered fic. Will I get it done by Thursday? Will it be coherent enough to post? Who knows!

Buck feels like he’s been doing well, lately. He’s putting himself first, he’s living in the moment, and he’s trying to pay attention to what his gut is telling him, to figure out which instincts are real and which stem from fear. Breaking up with Natalia had been a difficult decision, but once it was done, he knew it was the right choice. If there’d been any lingering doubts, then Eddie’s support had confirmed it. Sure, being single while Eddie has a girlfriend means Buck’s spending more days off alone than not, but it’s good—it’s better than spending them with someone whose company he’s slowly starting to resent. He visits Maddie, hangs out with Chim, takes Jee off their hands for a few hours so they can focus on wedding planning, and when Eddie asks him to talk to Chris, Buck only spirals for as long as it takes for Eddie to crack a joke, to reassure Buck’s place and to make it clear he values Buck’s perspective. They saved Bobby and Athena, and didn’t even get fired for it. Buck’s doing well—so he really should see it coming when his newfound peace proves to be a lot more fragile than he’d thought.

No pressure tags 💙

@wikiangela @wildlife4life @diazsdimples @theotherbuckley @aspecbuddie @thewolvesof1998 @loserdiaz @goforkinard @puppyboybuckley @kwills91 @trenchcoatsandtimetravel @spotsandsocks @steadfastsaturnsrings @sunflowerdiaiz @lover-of-mine @liabegins @lovelettertothewise @slowlyfoggydestiny @buddieboos @shitouttabuck @pirrusstuff @jesuisici33 @nmcggg

[datsleepygirl]

when things get hard, will you still be by my side? Law x Reader Comfort

- most people know this, but if you're new here, law is my comfort character, so I had him in mind when writing this.

before you proceed, please know that :

I've been in a difficult position in life for the past few months, so please don't expect any greatness from me. I'm not really in a position where I can sprinkle some fluff here and there like I was able to in the past, but I tried my best to make the end as fluffy as possible. this is just a simple piece of scrabble with myself as 'inspiration'. I needed a way to express how I felt for the past few months, so I decided to turn it into a piece as I realised that I haven't been posting much lately. hopefully someone can get some enjoyment out of this. :))

status : not proofread

- tw. mentions of depression, self struggles, reader in denial of anyone loving her, self hatred, bunch of comfort, fluff in the end if you squint. law and reader aren't together yet, but they have been playing cat and mouse for a while.

It's like every time I step through these doors, they all look at me with pity in their eyes, like they're looking at a poor stray cat on the street that no one wants.

Aside from all those times, it's also like they're judging me for slacking off and moping around in my room. The captain's probably thinking of ways to get rid of me without telling me that I'm useless. That's how he is. He starts off as this cold and unapproachable person, but once you've entered his life, he'll always find a way to take care of you. The once frequent knocks on my door proves that right. He'd come and check on me, asking if I had eaten anything or have I been feeling ill, but his concerns were always answered with a smile of mine and reassuring him that I'm fine. With that going on for a while, he probably figured out that I was lying to his face, or maybe him simply don't have the energy to pretend that he cares about me anymore. That's how everyone on this submarine behaved lately.

I looked around my room, all dark and gloomy. Yesterday, I found the energy to clean it up a little as it was starting to get out of hand. If there's one thing that gets on Law's nerve the most, it's clean and dirty laundry mixed up on the floor. Even at my lowest, my mind always drift to him. Because even if I knew from the beginning that he won't return my feelings, my feelings for him are just growing stronger and stronger every second. With the state that I'm in now, there's no way that I would be able to be around his presence, let alone look him in the eye and start a conversation with him. Maybe that's why I did everything in my power to avoid leaving my room. The fear of rejection, even after years of being an outcast, still makes me feel like I'm about to suffocate. It's almost like as long as I don't leave this room, as long as I don't see Law, I can keep staying here, even if none of my crewmates like me anymore.

When I look out the window, I can see the moon, a gift for all minks, hanging high up the sky. My thoughts naturally drifted to Bepo, the absolute sweetheart of this crew. And when I think about it, I can't help but feel bad about myself even more. How did I manage to get the sweetest creature in this world to hate me as well?

'Damn y/n... just how pathetic can you be...'

Voices in my head echoed louder and louder every passing day. Voices that tell me I'm useless and unwanted here. Voices that tell me there'll never be a place for me where I can call a home. Voices that tell me I'll never be loved, that I don't deserve to be loved.

When Law came to check up on me in the past, that split second of seeing him and hearing his voice made the voices go away. But when he leaves, the voices come back instantly. I've told myself that relying on other people is a bad decision, simply because I'll always be left alone in the end. But somehow, trying to separate myself from Law is completely different from what I had ever experienced. My heart screams for me to just call out to him for help, but my brain knows that everything will just turn out the same eventually. I'll just be more of a burden to Law than I already am.

.

"y/n-ya, are you in there?"

A knock and the soft but deep voice that I had fallen in love with startled me.

Why is he here? Why is he here at night? Why is he here when he should be in his study at this hour? A million questions ran through my mind as I could only come up with one conclusion.

He wants me off his submarine.

The voice on the other side of the door called out to me again as I finally stood up, slowly making my way over to the door. A sigh of relief escaped from him as he saw me open my door. However, at this state of mine, I misunderstood it as a sigh of annoyance. He's annoyed that it took me so long to open the door.

"I wanna talk to you. Can I come in?" he wasted no time, cutting straight to the point. I nodded, moving aside as he made his way into my room. I closed the door behind me while he looked around my room, clearly surprised that it has become a lot cleaner than before. "I see you put your laundry away and cleaned up a little." Law started, sitting on my bed while taking off his hat.

Thousands of thoughts in my head are giving me a headache. I wanted to make him believe that I'm doing okay. But before I realised, my words rang around the whole room.

"Yeah... can never be too sure about when I'd have to leave now, can I? It's best to have everything organised so it'd be easier to find what I need to take with me."

Well, that certainly struck a nerve. Law eyebrows creased at my words, only confusion can be found on his face.

"Leaving? y/n-ya, what are you talking about? Who said you're leaving?" the walls around my heart are closing up on it again, preventing me from having a calm and productive conversation with him. Maybe if I were able to believe that someone would actually love me for me, I'd have the courage to seek help from him.

"Well... that's what you all wanted, right? I'm just someone that brings nothing to the table. The others are tired of me, and you're disappointed at me. That's why you came here, right?" I couldn't even look him in the eye as I was afraid that all I'll see in his eyes is disgust.

"What the hell? Wha- who told you that? I came here to talk to you about the list of things we need to buy on the next island, which is about two days away. You also weren't there during dinner, so I wanted to come check on you to see if you're feeling unwell. Actually, that's not the point. How long have you been feeling this way? Why didn't you come to me?" Law stood up and slowly made his way towards me, switching into doctor and caring captain mode.

I sighed, looking at anywhere but him. "It's fine, you don't have to pretend that you care. All my life, I've been abandoned and left behind. I can tell when someone's kindness is coming from pity or not. You don't need to look for an excuse to get rid of me, nor do you need to sugarcoat anything, I get it. I never thought I'd have a place where I can call a home anyways..."

Law put his hands on my shoulders as if he's trying to get me to look at him. "y/n-ya, stop. What are you talking about? This is your home, why wouldn't it be? We're not going to abandon you. I'm not going to abandon you. No one is pitying you. In fact, we've all been worried about you, for weeks. You could've at least come to me. Do you not trust me enough?" his question at the end made my heart clench. The one person that I wanted to impress and protect the most, is disappointed at me. At this point, my eyes were stinging from tears threatening to escape. He wanted to convince me that he cares about me, that everyone does. But how can I trust him? My heart does, but all the trauma from the past is preventing me from thinking logically, preventing me from letting him in. Ironic that I can't trust when the person who stole my heart said that he cares about me is the truth. In any dream, I'd die to hear those words. So why can't I find it in me to believe him?

"You know as well as I do that no one will ever truly love me. Just look at this pathetic mess in front of you. Why would someone love... this? Why would you love this?" his grip on my shoulders tightened, but he didn't say anything. Seeing as he wanted me to continue, I did. "At this point, it'd be better if I leave on my own and spare you some trouble. It's be one less mouth for you to feed anyways." I let out a sour chuckle at the end, laughing at how pathetic I sound. One of his hands reached under my chin and lifted my face up, forcing me to look at him. The look in his eyes held no hint of disgust. Instead, all that can be found was rage and hurt.

"Is this seriously what you think of me? You think that I was looking at you as just 'a mouth to feed'? You really see me as someone who'd lie to your face and say that I care about you? You out of all people should know that I despise shit like that. What can I do to make you believe that you deserve to be loved? What can I do to make you believe that you're loved?" the desperation in Law's voice almost made me believe that he's telling the truth. I escaped from his gaze once again, looking down. His eyes softened as he continued,

"What can I do to make you believe that I love you...? Please, tell me."

My eyes widened at his words. The genuineness in his voice created a huge crack on the thick walls around my heart. This is the first time I've ever heard Law beg for something.

Just a little more, and my walls will break down.

"...do you really?" I found the courage to look him in the eyes with my teary ones. Law pulled me into a tight embrace, one arm around my waist while the other one gently caressed my hair. That vulnerable look and weak voice of mine broke his heart into pieces. He tightened his hold on me as he whispered in my ear,

"I do, I truly love you. Those months of playing cat and mouse with you is just me not having the guts to tell you how I really feel. You have no idea how much it hurts me to see the light in your eyes fade away day by day. You distancing yourself from us and not showing up as frequently as before broke my heart. I wanted to give you some space because I thought that eventually, you'd trust me enough to come to me and tell me about your struggles. I want to be there for you. You're not alone in this y/n-ya, you never were. Let me be there for you, let me in, please."

I returned the hug as I relaxed in his embrace, finally accepting that the man in front of me, who I love so much, is being genuine. I sobbed as he continued to whisper sweet nothings in my ear, reassuring me that he's not going anywhere.

"You're staying in my room from now on. And if anything bothers you, you'll tell me about it immediately, okay?" Law pulled away slightly in order for him to look me in the eyes, signalling that he's serious about this. I nodded, unable to find the energy to muster up a response. With that, Law brought me back into his warm embrace, but not before pressing a sweet kiss to my forehead.

And if the past creeps up on me again, I will have no fear this time. With the sound of your heartbeat, this unique and special lullaby just for me, will protect me from all the voices in my head.

.

[thedisablednaturalist]

Tw for weight loss mention

The whole exercise will cure your disability thing is a fucking joke. Yes exercise is beneficial for your health, but only if you aren't already on shaky foundations. You need to be on a treatment plan that WORKS before going into the maintenance phase. You wouldn't do regular maintenance on a broken item, you'd work on getting it up and running first. And maybe it would even need specialized maintenance afterwards if it's especially fragile.

I have fibromyalgia and acute degenerative disc disease. My immune system attacks my nerves and discs in my spine are slowly calcifying and causing the bones to constrict and damage my nerves (i think thats how it works). I have days where it feels like my body is on fire from nerve pain and days where it feels like my spine is about to rip from my back. And days where I have both (like today!). I get numbness in my hands and feet. I have horrible migraines. I can no longer walk unaided more than maybe 5 minutes without severe pain. I have something wrong with my knees and hips but the doctors don't know what yet.

You'd think I live an obviously seditary lifestyle correct?

Hell no.

I walk aided on average 6 miles a day over difficult terrain OUTSIDE of regular activity almost everyday. My legs are muscular and strong. I get my heart rate up and a good sweat, like all the gym rats swear on. I am often doing physical labor such as weeding, digging, sample collecting, pruning trees etc.

I'm not saying this to make other disabled people feel bad or prove that they can do anything if they just tried harder. This is an extremely painful lifestyle I've chosen that takes a lot of lifestyle management AND BOUNDARIES to keep up with the work. I also have an extremely forgiving boss who is also physically disabled and knows what I'm going through (deciding between your passion and your health and having to do so each and every day) No one should ever be expected to do what I do. I'm not even sure if I should be doing this myself.

This is to prove that exercise? Has not cured me. My muscles are strong but still hurt as if they're broken and I have to take more breaks than my coworker. I am constantly getting out of breath and I flare up regularly if I'm not careful. I am in excellent physical condition outside of my disabilities. I go to different doctors several times a month to get checked out.

I previously went through a diet program and lost a lot of weight (basically starving myself and got off my depression meds which cause weight gain but are also the only ones that work) and guess what? That didn't do shit either!!! I still felt horrible!!! I've since gained back the weight anyway after switching to focusing on adding more nutrient dense foods than taking stuff away from my diet (also muscle weighs more than fat, and fat helps cushion my aching joints and spine).

The muscle doesn't do shit for my disabilities outside of maybe some stability. Exercising everyday doesn't make the pain go away. Without my medications and aids and nutrition plans and steroid injections and spinal adjustments and physical therapy (that takes my fibro and spine into account) and alternative work methods I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I DO. Exercise alone is like trying to make a car run with no oil. Yes it'll go but it'll get more and more damaged till it can't and will need its entire engine replaced!

And yet I see new doctors and they look at me and the first thing out of their mouths is do I exercise? I should try doing a little every day :) and then i fucking blow their minds when I tell them about my job. No longer can they use that fucking cop out on me. I've been through this rodeo. Ive tried their suggestions. If you are in pain and nothing is helping? Exercise ain't going to do SHIT. You need to get to a point where you can move without severe pain first (if that's even possible). Then and only then should you consider implementing regular exercise if you can. Also weight loss talk is a red flag and a cop out. They made me lose 50+ lbs before they would look into the reasons behind my pain. Weight loss did nothing for me and exacerbated my pain.

I am living proof that all that shit is a lie and a cop out. That is the point of this post. I cannot believe people with serious medical conditions are being forced to put their bodies through extreme duress just to be believed. You are not disabled because of laziness or because you sit a lot. Plenty of people live seditary lifestyles and do not live in constant excruciating pain (they may develop disabilities later in life due to this however, and should be doing preventative exercises to maintain their health)

Please, share my story with doctors. Use me as an example. I am proof that "exercise first treat later" does not work. I should not have had to wait years to have my pain validated. I'd rather hundreds of fakers get (what? A blood test? An MRI?) than one chronically ill person get told to try yoga and go away by a doctor.