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euryvices · 2 days
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weird things about my town that lowkey remind me of tma
god, this is going to be a long post.
okay so. i grew up in a town in the middle east (about 200 people), with my bestfriend Whom I Will Not Shut The Fuck Up about apparently, and it was a strikingly different experience to most people who've grown up in the middle east, or in america. it was yk, a rich people town, populated and run mostly by generational wealth owners. as a result, our town was very hush-hush, despite it being in the Crackass Of Nowhere.
i started listening to tmagp about two months back, under the instructions (*cough cough coercion cough cough*) of my lovely moots (im looking at you @forflightlessbirds and @need-a-name-101) i've noticed a few things which may be...off.
the first thing i need to clarify are the rules. we had five of them, that nobody really stuck to, but we all knew of. the rules in and of themselves are normal things any parent tells their child, but weirdly specific. there weren't really any repercussions if we didn't stick to the rules - but most of the time, we didn't like breaking them. they were, as follows :
don't tell strangers your real name, and if you do, run and tell the head of the community center.
if people approach you about 'coming to god' (i.e, christian/muslim/jewish missionaries) tell them god has moved.
do Not enter the junkyard at night. (we broke this one)
always carry a knife. most of us were given jade knives, but my bestfriend got a gold one. ive teased him about it most of our lives, even after we shifted.
take a buddy with you everywhere, and if you can't find one, don't go out.
me and my brother have broken all these rules about once at least, except for the knife one and the junkyard. me and my bestfriend broke the junkyard one though. we shifted together when we were barely teens. first, we lived in the uk, then in the states. we headed back home and barely spoke for a year before he died, at the ripe old age of 17. i miss him, but thats not the point.
it was only after we moved, that we realized how truly Fucked Up our town was. we were living in the middle of war ravaged county, and we had swimming pools, and ipads, and sunset cocktails? obviously i didn't realise it as a kid, as a pre-teen even - but looking at it from the outside feels like a gut punch.
now here's where im going to yap about the similarities between tma and my shitstorm of a childhood and hopefully Will Not Piss Anyone Off. if you're from my town - you'll know exactly what im talking about, and i seriously hope you reach out and/or message me.
the things everyone knows the things. they're just. there. kinda like the bogeyman your mom scares you with when you don't eat lunch except most of us have just accepted that they're real
old man hanna if you've lived here, you know him. he's weird, he's kooky, and he's got a million books and tape recorders and vinyls. he's maybe the only person in that place that doesn't come from money. he hates electronics, says they can't capture things the way old school stuff does
the graves now, our town is mainly christian. uber arab christian. we've got graves, we've got cemeteries. but outside it, on the outskirts, lie a long line of unmarked graves. are they from the arab-israeli war? the gulf war? lord knows
the 2015 blackout this was the creepiest thing that happened here. the blackout, and then the radio stations playing that reading of the bible? my parents shut everything off and rushed me and bulos to the master bedroom
the skydiving institute i have no idea if the government approved this godforsaken place, but it was there. it led to the disappearance of nahren, who was deathly afraid of heights but she said she was ready to face her fears
the church when i shifted to the uk, i saw the proceedings of the greek orthodox church there. and let me tell you - it's so different to our church. for starters, our church doesn't even seem to have any affiliation to the goc, even though it should?? the entire thing is so different
the pond now this is rather controversial. our town's pond was created in the early 70's, but no one knows How or Why. realistically, there shouldn't have been any water supply that far inland. and the water should not be that salty. we don't acknowledge it, and no one drinks from it, even if its really hot. there's a sign outside that asks parents to hold their children tightly when passing by the pond
the soldiers they're mainly american (at least the one i met was), but they rarely enter our town. and when they do, they can only stay in one specific motel - we're not allowed to talk to them. once i did, though. im still...fucked up from it
there's a lot more, but i don't think y'all wanna know about my fucked up town anymore. just writing this is giving me the heebie-jeebies.
we usually aren't allowed to leave our town once we're in it. but my dad got special permission for us to leave, before the divorce. so we did. and then my parents got divorced. which made our family Not Happy, so we weren't exactly welcomed back.
that being said, i don't think there's anything really wrong with my town. it's just a bit...different. and i love it. even if it doesn't seem to love me right now.
god, i think i need to go lay down. i hate remembering all this.
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i should probably resume tagging things shouldnt i?
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arinmoss · 3 months
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i used a cis dude for reference for the trans dude art btw. not even like on purpose he just happened to have the right pose i wanted to draw but like. cis men rlly just be built like that. almost like sexual dimorphism between sexes is only at most 15% lol. lmao even.
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mountain-toes · 4 months
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There's something so gut wrenching about so many people head cannoning Janus name as Dante, the man who followed Virgil through hell, before it was revealed
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5-pp-man · 1 year
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No. You guys don't get it. Yosukan is about them wanting to earn each other's respect, its about overcoming internalised homophobia together, it's about having each other's back and helping each other out and
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get-more-bald · 24 days
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the fuck do you mean I have to leave....
#like. i fully knew this would happen#but the moment is just. so disheartening#'what if we lose the best of our generation' girl so i wasnt the best... cause you just sent me out with low expectations....#<- ngl this fits my character... but at what cost#the way i characterize lori (my vault dweller) is that shes jokey and shes fun and she doesnt take things too seriously#shes had sort of an 'adventuring spirit' and was mostly skilled with weapons and thats why she was sent out#and like. everything was silly to her in the wasteland until her companion (katya) died under the cathedral. then it became too real#and the master conversation traumatized her a bit cause like. here is the creature that caused suffering. and now its real and its so much#more horrible than she was taking it as#also the masters body horror freaked her OUT. cause supermutants etc seemed like just... altered humans. just enemies or just a person#but the master (even tho technically posthuman) was something else entirely#and it became so real and she got a huge reality check and she cant look at anything the same#if not for the master shed probably get back to the vault and keep going in and out. but after the cathedral? she just wanted to go home#safe underground with normal people. maybe nobody would understand her but at least she wouldn't be in that horrible world out there#maybe shed even go with ian and tycho and maybe even dogmeat. and they could be safe from freaks and zealots. but no#when she finally did want to go home - she got locked out. reminded that she was never the best of the generation#and when she finally became that and saved everyone - shes still wrong. not good enough -> too good and too much#shed be a bad influence. she was meant to do the job she was given and shut up and be thrown away when she fulfilled her duty#which ties into her never really doing a job - she doublecrosses gizmo and that maltese falcon guy and the adytum guy etc etc#even when she gets tandi back she goes back to murder everyone there (raiders) though she said she wouldn't#but before it was silly. she was being smart and having fun adventuring even if it got difficult sometimes#but the master was real. katyas death was real. ian almost died. everyone who ever agreed to help her either died or almost died (followers#and bos paladins#)#like shit. lori was NOT meant to be that deep........#also i have thoughts on aria (vault dweller i played before the save got corrupted and i had to abandon him) but there less formed#because when i had to stop playing him and make lori he was only at necropolis for the 1st time#oh my god.... this too ties into lori being always secondary#my poor girl.... i think she died young#young as in like. 30-40
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promithiae · 2 months
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"Join a community!"
The disinterest I have in doing that is immeasurable. I hang out here so I only have to interact with people once every 2 weeks when I have a weirdly specific question. This is the parallel play website for me.
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If they announce a s4 I genuinely might have to log tf off. I don't even want to see what sort of dumpster fire it would be. Maybe I'm just being pessimistic, but I don't see much hope for it being good or worthwhile. I'm going to rant in the tags so if you disagree with my opinion thats cool you can just ignore me and continue scrolling :)
#h talks#I've said before yk maybe I'm wrong and there will be one and it'll be amazing but the chances are so so so so slim#what show can you think of thats been rebooted 9-10 years after it ended and been Good and didn't Fuck Everything Up?#cause I can't think of very many#reboots and remakes are the death of creativity and entertainment. some things need to be left alone as they are#like again if it was Perfect that would be great. but theres so much room for disappointment#to me there are very few plot points they could follow that would be Good#theres no point in having a plot about them being tracked down because they Shouldn't be caught. no one wants them in jail#and if they DO get caught? what was the fucking point . like it completely undermines the og ending#I don't see any reason to bring in Clarice. mostly because her character was blended with Will's a fair amount so they'd have to change her-#personality and canon plot a Whole bunch. which isn't bad per say but ... yk again whats the point of having her if she's not Her#so then ok maybe we focus on Will and Hannibal honeymooning together and killing and cannibalizing people and being on the run#Great Wonderful thats probably the best outcome. except.... its already been done so many times in fic that ppls expectations are HIGH#and do you Really expect something like that to air and not cause insane fucking discourse and then get cancelled?#do you WANT to invite an entire new group of even more annoying people into the fandom so we can rehash the same fucking debates about-#queerbaiting and age gaps and ethics? fuck no#ok end rant lol
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theamazingannie · 6 months
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I’m a sucker for musical parallels and referencing an old song in a new song but I feel like this TTPD lead up is not just a “this is how I used to feel and now I’m using those themes to show how I feel now” and more of a “those feelings were never real and actually those love songs that were so beautiful before are actually about a bad relationship and full of red flags” cuz it’s honestly ruining my feelings on those old songs. Like Taylor’s whole thing is letting us interrupt the songs and apply them to our own lives and now it’s like even she is encouraging us to only see them through the lens of her most recent breakup and it really sucks tbh
#like when it was just fans being swifties I could ignore it and keep believing they were good love songs#but now that those Apple Music playlists came out and these songs are being sorted through different lenses#it feels like she wants us to look at those beautiful love songs differently and I hate it#taylor swift#ttpd#like I’d make jokes and talk about her personal life#and look at her songs and be like hmmm maybe that’s what she meant by this#but mostly her songs were always separate from her real life relationships#(otherwise I wouldn’t be able to love the speak now era love songs lmao)#I apply her songs to my characters#sweet nothing was the perfect song for one of my ocs who got famous and felt like he couldn’t be himself anymore#expect when he was with his bf who didn’t see him that way#and now I listen to it and I hear all those tweets saying ‘omg he didn’t love her and didn’t care about her and THATS what she was saying’#and having lover being one of the top wedding songs of the 2020s#and the ‘at every table I’ll save you a seat’ now going from ‘I want you by my side always’#to ‘I have to save it but you don’t show up cuz you’re never there for me’#and lavender haze going from ‘we don’t need to be married to be in love and I just want to be with you#and I wish people would stay out of my private life’#now being ‘I actually did want to get married and this was me just being in denial’#it SUCKS#things were much easier when I was just playing my thoughts here rather than following fan pages on Twitter#I’ve met a lot of great people and learned some fun stuff but this is exhausting#I just want to listen to my favorite artist without analyzing every line to figure out if she really meant it like that#I love her for her ability to tel stories I can relate my characters to#that’s all I really want to do with her songs#makes me want to leave the fandom and just listen alone#but also doing that before made me miss album announcements and vault puzzles and other news#idk I’ll probably stay but it just really sours the whole experience for me#and I wish it didn’t
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I think the hardest thing in writing for me sometimes is the like “show don’t tell/let people communicate through subtext/Normal People don’t just walk around openly explaining their motivations for everything That’s Unnatural” thing because like.. I literally DO walk around openly explaining my motivations for everything, that is how I talk, I am an analytical detail oriented over-communicator who explains everything as thoroughly as possible and and will give a fully detailed 2 minute long answer to something simple like “how are you doing today?” .. like it’s hard to make things sound Natural and Normal when you yourself are inherently unnatural and abnormal in your methods of communication to an extent lol
#''hey. whats up? you look kind of sad.. is something wrong?''   normal answer (apparently how people are supposed to talk): *looks away#remosefully and stares into the distance* ''n-no.. I'm fine. don't worry about it.''   abnormal answer (how I would respond): ''Yeah I#'m mostly fine. I was just thinking about what the future is going to be like 30 years from now and if I'll ever actually accomplish anythin#g that I want to. which makes me feel X way for XYZ reason. you see because I had a dream last night that made me think of *continues to exp#lain my exact emotional state and inner thought process completely matter of factly in exact detail for 5 more minutes*#tfw you would be a badly written character if you existed in a story lol#This is also why I struggle making conflict because most conflicts can be resolved through conversation and I personally love to have long#detailed conversations about everything. Like literally I don't have hardly any conflicts interpersonally because if something happens it's#immediately followed up with like ''hey sorry if my tone of voice sounded a bit pointed or harsh. when you were talking to me I was trying#to balance all the stuff I was taking up the stairs and also my leg hurts so I think all my mental energy was being used there and I just#didn't feel like talking. I should have just said 'wait a minute and we can discuss it inside' instead of trying to end the conversation qui#ckly in a short rude way.' ''oh yeah thats fine. I thought it was something like that. sorry for hounding you about the topic as well. i#havent eaten in a while so I think I'm just a bit prickly at the moment. we should both rest for a while and destress from the store#trip and then talk about it later. maybe after lunch?' 'sure. sounds good.' like LITERALLY. lol#it is so hard for me to write characters who are bad communicators or don't understand their own internal states or arent constantly#analyzing their own actions to understand what they do/don't feel and why and what the cause of it is and etc. etc. etc.#I just naturally want everyone to perfectly undertsand everything and communicate amazingly and have complete self awareness and#logical presence of mind gjhbj.. which like.. of course comes across as unnatyural and also those type of people rarely ever get involved in#conflict and conflict is APPARENTLY what drives stories (even though I don't like most conflicts and just want to resolve them lol) so ...aa#I mean you can get around this to some degree by the fact that (at least in my opinion) no rule for dialogue is 100%. dialogue is good if it#sounds naturally like it comes from the character who said it. It can be meandering and pointless and rambly IF that matches the character.#it can be dry and overly self aware IF your character is that way and it suits them. So like throwing in a few detached scholar types or lik#e '5000 year old cave dwelling hermit' type people is good for me and works BUT the thing is an ENTIRE cast of characters can't be that way.#at some point - even in a setting where everyone is reserved and academic (like a research camp in the wilderness full of scholars and stuff#) still SOMEBODY has to be the one who's conflict prone and doesn't pristinely understand all of their emotions and etc. etc. Because statis#tically that is still literally the majority. Kind of like my tendency to make everyone 100% aromantic and asexul when it's like.. YES.. may#be 2 or 3 or even 4 out of 10 of them could be that way. but like.. an entire group? a diverse group of 10 people from all walks of life and#EVERY single one is like that??? hgjh . you have to add realistic variety#As much as I'm pro 'have more stories where sex or romance are literally NOT involved at all in any capacity since it's already oversaturate#d in media' I'm also dedicated to realism. alas. (at least as realistic as you can get in a fantasy setting lol)
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kazbrekkerfast · 1 year
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WHAT HOW DID I MISS THIS
I HAVE 50 FOLLOWERS THATS MENTAL THANKYOU SO MUCH!!!
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I LOVE YOU ALL <3333
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lottieurl · 1 year
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remade the rewatch post cause
✨️ i hate algorithms ✨️
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toytulini · 1 year
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honestly sounds like an unwise choice of dog(young high energy likely due to breed temperament and lineage to to have a higher reactivity and distrust of strangers?) have in that environment and im glad hes apparently living with family friends now, hope that helps w the behavioral issues
#toy txt post#im shocked hes gotten 11 bites in tbh thats insane? if nothing else. it sounds like that environment was not great for him stresswise if hes#biting that often#i dont buy into that dogs always have good character judgement thing but i do think there is probably some overlap with#commanders vibe checking and the general temperament of your average secret service agent being a disasterous combo of#commander not digging their vibe and the energy they bring to interactions with him. ESPECIALLY now that he has such an extensive history of#bad interactions w agents that like. for sure affects how they approach interacting w him#and like. probably some overlap w the agents hes biting and the agents who might have some unhinged politics of their own#that doesnt mean hes Aware or that his general Judge Of Character should be taken at face value#hes just a breed that is gonna be be pretty distrustful of strangers who is constantly having strangers in his space#that are probably asserting themselves in his space and close to his ppl in ways he doesnt like but that is basically part of their job#which he doesnt understand that. all he sees is Some Random Guy with annoying vibes thats probably giving him sideeye and#exuding vibes of 'god i hope this stupid fucking dog that bites secret service agents doesnt bite me' and the dog that bites secret service#agents is like hey bro whats with the attitude. why are you so close to my ppl. why are you tensing up when im near you? are you gonna#go after me bro? not if i get you first. and the cycle continues. fuckin oof#11 times is insane but honestly. honestly. if i had a bunch of assholes following me around with a tense aggro energy and shit#i feel like moxie might start biting. shes not bitten anyone yet so far despite her high level of distrust towards strangers but like.#i think if their was someone with fuckin. Cop Vibes getting all up in the space of her people she might give it a go. idk#maybe not. shes mostly more confrontational towards other animals than to ppl. w ppl she cowers and trembles. but idk sometimes when we're#trying to convince her she doesnt need to have an anxiety attack about every new person she'll sometimes like sit on one of us and then get#a little growly when someone comes close not just cos shes scared but also cos shes being protective. but also its funny bc she is also like#trying to hide between our legs like a baby penguin. she is simultaneously trying to Protecc and Be Proteccted
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erythristicbones · 1 year
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ive spent p much a year now confident with the decision that i intend to self-publish EOTA.....and now all of the sudden i feel conflicted again
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dirt-str1der · 1 year
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Literally cant care about anything other than majima haruka bonding
#Yakuza loveblog#ohhh together ... this is less of a kiryu sickfic and more like harukas little city adventure#kiryu got sick because he was just not taking care of himself and keeled over like a victorian lady and haruka was like okay . im#cooking dinner tonight ojisan if i catch you out of bed i will be very angry with you !!!#sorry for using ojisan and uncle kaz interchangably theyre both just so fucking cute ... uncle kaz lets fuck hookers#haruka where is the methy . in my nose ojisan. uncle kaz get it twisted gamble you will win you understand you will break even#you wont lose. you wont go into debt. you will win. millions. get it twisted gamble and thats it.#majima ends up having to drive her home because he doesnt want her out on her own anymore .. which is funny because haruka yelled at him#because he joked about coming over to visit kiryu while hes sick and she was like NO !!! and he was like sheesh okay okay ...#and then shes like oh turn left here yeah this is where we're staying .. . you can come in if you want :) (she trusts him now)#i think harukas jacket also got ripped up and covered in blood so majima bought her that stylish puffer jacket she has in yk2#little girls WILL wear black singlets by the way just trust me on this kiryu also wore one when he was younger 'source?' just trust me#its like a staple of the wardrobe you need a black singlet and a jacket to wear over it plus its super cute and sensible#i like to make people straight up stab and hurt other people in front of haruka she doesnt care shes already desensitised#because she follows kiryu around every day and hes always caving skulls and making people spit out bloody teeth so seeing majima splatter#blood everywhere was nothing to her shes always getting splashed with blood every single day she doesnt mind#shes very brave to keep wearing white after that but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do#hmm wonder if i should have a proper writing tag so i can consolidate all this shit ...#well it would mostly be for keeping track of what ive already posted because i can never remember and i keep writing the same thing#over and over again ... i only have one brain you see ..#majima comes into kiryus house immediately makes a beeline for his bedroom and sees him all sweaty and feverish in bed too weak to move#and she starts panting like a dog and kiryu looks at her with fear in his eyes#guy whos about to get his shit rocked like crazy and knows it#sorry haruka look away !!! <- thats the header i have for this fic look away from the rest of the document !!!!
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antennatoheaven · 1 year
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our next assignment for literature is to find a song/poem that you think has a unique way of depicting either love or divorce and to analyse it and i don't think my teacher understands how well i'm prepared
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