#and the first stanza is super cool too! it feels really nice for a bit

[unexpectedgeese]

Planet of Love (by Richard Siken)

Imagine this:

You’re driving.

The sky’s bright. You look great.

In a word, in a phrase, it’s a movie,

you’re the star.

so smile for the camera, it’s a big scene,

you know your lines.

I’m the director. I’m in a helicopter.

I have a megaphone and you play along,

because you want to die for love,

you always have.

Imagine this:

You’re pulling the car over. Somebody’s waiting.

You’re going to die

in your best friend’s arms

and you play along because it’s funny, because it’s written down,

you’ve memorized it,

it’s all you know.

I say the phrases that keep it all going,

and everybody plays along.

Imagine this:

Someone’s pulling a gun, and you’re jumping into the middle of it.

You didn’t think you’d feel this way.

There’s a gun in your hand.

It feel hot. It feels oily.

I’m the director

and I’m screaming at you,

I’m waving my arms in the sky

and everyone’s watching, everyone’s

curious, everyone’s

holding their breath.

[whatiwillsay]

off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too!  i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me.  i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo! 

Part I - At least one fake rs!  

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay.  Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything!  We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another.  cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them?  Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala 

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March?  Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship?  Perhaps!  Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach.  The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man 

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there!  Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating?  Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay.  Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists.  Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues.  I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes!  It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019.  They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.  

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos.  I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married.  All jokes aside this is fruity behavior. 

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn!  It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe.  Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia?  (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened.  And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs.  Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women.  Is she gay?  I don’t know!   But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think?  Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni.  Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

[scottymcgeesterwrites]

Final Fantasy II Review

Year: 1988

Original Platform: Famicom

Also Available on: GameBoy Advance (Final Fantasy I &II: Dawn of Souls), PlayStation One (Final Fantasy Origins), PSP (Anniversary Edition), Android, iOS. Wii/3DS/Wii U Virtual Consoles and WonderSwan Color releases are only in Japan.

Version I Played: PSP

Synopsis:

Firion, Maria, Guy and Leon are recent orphans from Emperor Palamecia’s attack on the city of Fynn. They are picked up by Minwu, an agent of the rebellion against the Emperor led by Princess Hilda. The orphans wish to join the fight against the Emperor, and so Minwu helps them on missions to foil the Emperor’s plans.

Background:

So, here's where the history of Final Fantasy games gets a little choppy. Final Fantasy II was not initially released in the US, nor outside Japan for that matter. The reason was because the US localization was taking too long and the Super Nintendo was already being developed and on the verge of released. The same thing happened with Final Fantasy III. The US localization for both games were trashed in favor of working on Final Fantasy IV. Square released Final Fantasy IV as Final Fantasy II for Western audiences, so they wouldn't get confused. Final Fantasy V was also unreleased outside of Japan for other reasons, and so Final Fantasy VI became known to Western audiences as Final Fantasy III.

Then when Final Fantasy VII came around they said "Fuck it" and left it numbered like that for Western audiences too.

The real Final Fantasy II wasn't released to Western audiences until 2003 with Final Fantasy Origins for the Playstation One. The real Final Fantasy III wasn't released to Western audiences until the 2006 remake for the Nintendo DS. Final Fantasy V was first released outside Japan as part of the collection in Final Fantasy Anthology for Playstation One in 1999.

Gameplay:

Final Fantasy II is the black sheep of the series. Even though it sold well on its first release, it’s the lowest selling Final Fantasy game to date. This is in part to the gameplay, which sounds great on paper but doesn’t work out well in execution.

Instead of conventional leveling up - meaning you gain experience points (XP) and your stats rise - you raise your skills and stats based on how often you use them. Everybody has the ability to use any weapon or magic spell. But the more you use one certain weapon or certain spell, the more you level it up. For example, I could have Firion use a sword. The more often I make him use a sword, the greater his skill with a sword. If I give him an axe, he will start with a Level 1 axe ability, and not deal as much damage as he would with a sword.

The problems arise in matters of defense and HP. By that logic, the more you get hit, the more your HP grows. This is pretty infuriating because if you want to grind to raise your HP, you fall in danger of dying. To raise defense, you have to equip a shield and get hit. It also really sucks late in the game if you neglect one particular stat that becomes important.

By the time I reached the third act of this game, I was frankly fed up. I just had the sole purpose in mind of finishing the game. The frequent random encounters near the end infuriated me. Not that they were hard, but they used up my resources and I really wanted to end it once and for all.

 However, the game has a nice feature where you can learn key terms and words when talking with people. This helps you remember what to do and where to go next. That part was cool.

Graphics:

Very little had changed between the first and second Final Fantasy games, as you can see.

The same is true for the PSP Anniversary Edition.

The graphics are exactly the same as that of Final Fantasy PSP Anniversary Edition. As such, they feel homogeneous and somewhat uninspired. Once again, they rip the opening FMV sequence from the Playstation One version. Why do they do that? Just give a little extra effort to make it unique. Just a little.

Story:

Final Fantasy II was the first story-driven RPG for the series. It introduced a lot of the trademark elements that the series is known for, like Cid and Chocobos, and so it’s a shame that it wasn't memorable.

Critics bash the story because they compare it to Star Wars from 1977. The plot is similar in that there is a rebellion against an empire and a princess who gets imprisoned inside the empire’s secret weapon of mass destruction. The Emperor even has a right-hand man clad head to toe in armor with a SECRET IDENTITY. While there is no Death Star in Final Fantasy II, there is a massive airship that the Emperor builds to crush the rebellion - the Dreadnought - and Princess Hilda, just like Leia, is taken prisoner there.

But in my opinion, plot parallels should really be the least of your worries. I think the story is a tad bit underrated. Just a tad. Well, the main characters are bland. Firion is a cool name. Other than that, there's nothing to say about them. They are less fleshed out than the secondary characters, which is ironic. I was more interested in any other character than the main cast. Guy (or Gus in some versions) is a stereotypical friendly giant, only saying short phrases or one-word answers. Firion and Maria don't really do much except want to fight for the rebellion. Leon has a story arc that's too quick and convenient.

The secondary characters that you run into are much more interesting – Josef, Minwu, Gordon, Ricard, Leila and Scott. They come and go during certain events and they all have even the slightest ounce of backstory more than the main characters.

The story tapers off after you rescue Princess Hilda. While I won’t spoil anything (though I doubt you’d care but still), there are stupid moments when the Emperor could have easily crushed the rebellion but instead chose a different route. Ultima, the ultimate spell, becomes an important plot device that the heroes seek – and yet it doesn’t end up being effective for the final battle nor is it mentioned again in the story. Overall, Final Fantasy II appears to be the Final Fantasy game with the most plotholes. The strongest part of the story lies in its secondary characters. The game left me wanting more of them instead of playing a group of stereotypical orphans without any personality.

Even though Final Fantasy II has an actual storyline, its predecessor feels much more original despite the fact that it’s more like a series of episodic events. Whether Star Wars was an intentional inspiration or not, it makes sense as a first jab at creating a storyline. It’s simple and tropey.

Music:

Despite Final Fantasy II lurking in the shadows for years, it has good music. The Rebel Army theme is great, especially when you hear it orchestrated in Final Fantasy medleys and the Distant Worlds concert. The final battle with the Emperor has the first true final battle music in the series, and it’s awesome. You can tell Uematsu had fun expanding his repertoire.

Like before, the PSP version adds more tracks and gives a more orchestrated feel.

Notable Theme:

As the chocobos debuted in this game, so did their theme song, which was quite repetitive here. In later games, Uematsu added another stanza of music.

Verdict:

Most likely the worst of the Final Fantasy games. You’re really not missing much if you never play it. It strikes a jarring note in both gameplay and story, like when you play the piano and keep hitting the wrong key.

The PSP version is probably slightly more interesting. Still, I wish they buffed up the story somehow. Why not remake the entire game? There is potential with the characters. Keep your basic elements but just make the story, you know, not boring and stupid.  

Direct Sequel?

Yes. Final Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls introduced a second part to the story called Soul of Rebirth. The PSP version also has it. It's dumb. I tried it and for whatever reason it’s very difficult right away and so I lost interest entirely.

[asexualastarion]

For the album ask game... how about The Black Parade?

oh ABSOLUTELY. i LOVE you. this is all subject to change at the drop of the hat bc im wishy-washy and i love all of these songs anyway so

this got WAY too long so i am putting it under a readmore shhvkldlkdgjlkdsj

not including b-sides:

1. Teenagers- kind of a basic pick i know, BUT, in my defense, the song slaps. it’s such a fun song, especially when you’re singing it at the top of your lungs. the guitar part is super cool too- im trying to learn it rn but it’s a slow process bc im bad at guitar.

2. Mama- what can i say. it fucks. the old time-y feel, the harmonies/background vocals, the layers. the guitar goes so fucking hard. banging lyrics- “you should’ve raised a baby girl, i should have been a better son”??????? songs to be trans to.”but the shit that i’ve done with this fuck of a gun” is the kind of lyric that you can only properly convey if you’re screaming it at the top of your lungs. the whole ending is just. mind blowing

3. The End.- LISTEN!!!!!!!!! the end is WAY TOO FUCKING UNDERRATED!!!! oh my goddd i love it so much. i love it SO much. it’s such a perfect beginning to the song. the lyrics are great (”now come one, come all, to this tragic affair” if you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, you can find out first hand what it’s like to be me”, “another contusion, my funeral jag. here’s my resignation, i’ll serve it in drag. you’ve got front row seats to the penitence ball, when i grow up, i want to be NOTHING AT ALL!!! SAVE ME!!! GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!! SAVE ME!!! TOO YOUNG TO DIE, AND MY DEAR!!! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME JUST WALK AWAY AND TAKE ME!!). the bit with the snapping and the ooooohs is fun too. such a good song, it could honestly be 1 or 2 but my ranking system isnt based in logic and makes no sense to even myself

4. House of Wolves- house of wolves was my favorite mcr song for a good chunk of time, but as a result i’m kinda burned out on it, which is why it isn’t higher.  however it is still number four  because it’s objectively a fucking amazing song. the guitar is so fuckin fun, the lyrics are great, and it’s just. fun to dance around and sing it at the top of your lungs. you better run like the devil cause they’re never gonna leave you alone!!!!! tell me i’m a bad, bad, bad, bad man!!!

5. Welcome to the Black Parade- the big man itself. the titular song. their biggest hit. a lot of people shit on wttbp for being popular and, like, pretty much the only song of theirs to ever be on the radio anymore (and even then it’s once in a blue moon), BUT. it got popular for a reason. it’s a really good song. i love the structure of it, i love how it builds and builds and builds. the lyrics are wonderfully done- “a world that sent you reelin from decimated dreams/ your misery and hate will kill us all”, the whole “do or die, you’ll never make me” stanza is The Ultimate rallying cry. and the “im just a man, i’m not a hero” is just. ughghghdlkslakdjglsdkg. the titular song of an album entirely about death and dying and misery being SO hopeful and SO upbeat really portrays the album as a whole much differently- mcr is known as The Emo Band because, yeah, their aesthetic is dark and their songs touch dark stuff but they have never been all whiney and boo-hoo-y and melancholic for the sake of melancholy. there’s always been a positive note to their music and a lot of people just don’t get that which makes me sad. anyway. wttbp is fun and i like it and i like the drums and the trumpets at the end. marching bands fuck

6. Blood- ok so the pattern here seems to be that i favor the fun songs over the slow ones, and blood sticks with that. much like with mama, i love the old time-y feel. i love that this is like a fun little bonus ditty to end the album on. the lyrics are silly and fun and jovial, and the piano is great. love it and it makes me happy

7. Disenchanted- OUGHH. OUUUUUGH. i know cancer is objectively the saddest song on the album, but disenchanted just hits different. “when the lights all went out, we watched our lives on the screen/ i hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene” just DECIMATES me, man. the acoustic guitar is a nice change of pace, and the vocal performance is just. so fucking emotional. especially the “woahhhhhhhh-ohs” at the end. great song, makes me Feel Emotions

8. The Sharpest Lives- ok so i know this is pretty much in the middle of the list, but i want to stress that i dont hate any of the songs on this album, so even the middle of the list is pretty fuckin good imo. the sharpest lives makes me go batshit.  the lyrics are so fucking wild. “a light to burn all the empires, so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be” is SO fuckin sick like OH my god. what a line. also “there’s a place in the dark where the animals go/ you can take off your skin in the cannibal glow/ juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands/ drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, romeo” like WHAT?????????????? GERARD POPPED OFF W THIS ONE FOLKS!! also i love how at the beginning the whisper-y vocals bounce from ear to ear. also “so why don’t you blow me......a kiss before she goes” is fuckin hilarious. honestly this song should be higher but i havent gone through a phase where i’ve been obsessed w it yet so it stays down here for now. one day it will take hold and be all i can listen to for a month straight and THEN it will climb the ranks. 

9. Cancer- makes me cry like a liddol baby. my mom doesnt let it play in the car cause it makes her too sad. twenty one pilots covered it and it was FUCKING AWFUL so the song is kinda ruined now cause i can only think about their shitty cover. like the AUDACITY. but anyway besides that the song is heart wrenching and amazing. the hardest part of this is leavin you!!!!

10. Dead!- look, i know technically the end. and dead! are the same song/ are just continuations of each other but i’m listing them separately bc dead! is, to me, the worse of the two. not that it’s bad or anything, it just doesn’t pop off the same way the end. and all the songs before it on the list do. however i do love the guitar at the beginning and the solo, and the “one! two! one two three four! LA LA LA LAs” are super fucking fun. 

11. Famous Last Words- i used to hate this song!!!! i truly did!! it’s obvs not on the top of my list now or anything, but i have grown to appreciate it a lot more than i used to. like with wttbp, it is the silver lining of the album that betrays its optimistic side. it’s a happy final message to a dark album. the ending is fucking amazing. I am not afraid to keep on living!!!! i am not afraid to walk this world alone!!!!!!

12. Sleep- Sleep is, unfortunately, just kinda boring in comparison. i almost forgot to even put it on the list. however, i do like the “the hardest part’s the awful things that i’ve seen” and the “a drink, for the horrors that i’m in. for the good guys and the bad guys, for the monsters that i’ve been” lines. also the “three cheers for tyranny, unapologetic apathy!” line. but overall it’s just. eh

13. This is How I Disappear- i have. complicated feelings on tihid. on one hand, it reminds me of my favorite oc, re, and is on their playlist. on the other hand, i have grown bored with it over time. it just doesn’t stand out to me at all really. that being said, i do really like the “who walks among the famous living dead” and the “can you hear me cry out to you” stanzas. 

14. I Don’t Love You- while i dont think idly is a bad song at all, it just simply isnt my kind of song. i do think gerard’s vocals are extremely strong throughout, especially during the “when you go, would you have the guts to say/ i don’t love you like i loved you yesterday” line. like wow ok maam please continue. but overall i just dont vibe w breakup songs bc i cant relate

including b sides: 1. Heaven Help Us

2. Kill All Your Friends

3. Everything else

4. My  Way Home is Through You

my reasoning: 

heaven help us is tied for my favorite mcr song Of All Time. everything about this song is catnip for lil old me. the angsty christian imagery, the vocals, the guitar. all of it. the lyrics make me lose my mind, especially the “will you pray for me? or make a saint of me? and will you lay for me? or make a saint of- cause i’ll give you all the nails you need/cover me in gasoline/ wipe away those tears of blood again/ and the punchline to the joke is asking ‘SOMEONE SAVE US’” and the “you don’t know a thing about my sins/ or the misery begins/ you don’t know, so i’m burnin! I’m burnin!!!” parts. like i absolutely vibe with this song so fucking hard. i sing it constantly, it’s great to sing (very stimmy for me), it sounds beautiful. i am obsessed with it through and through

similarly, kill all your friends also speaks to my very soul. i can’t pick favorite lyrics bc id just have to copy and paste the whole song. i love the build-up, i love the time progression throughout the song (it’s been TEN FUCKING YEARS since i’ve been seein your faaaaaace rounnnnnd heeeere), i love the “you’ll never take me alives”. literally everything about this song makes me emo. it just Gets Me. it’s literally about my greatest fear. all my friends growing up and moving away and getting on with their lives without me, leaving me to rot in my hometown waiting for them to return. we only see each other at weddings and funerals, so it’s time to kill all your friends so we can party when the funeral ends!! it’s probably tied with heaven help us, but i’m putting it at number two just because it didn’t hook me as strongly as hhu did. it’s more of a strong, steady favorite than a “this song has latched on to my very soul and i have to listen to it on repeat over and over and over again”, if that makes sense. it’s still in my top 5 mcr songs though

i never vibed with my way home is through you. i don’t listen to it often, and i just don’t really feel it. it’s not bad, it’s just. eh.

anyway if you’ve read this far down i love you so much. thank you for listening to me ramble, mcr means a lot and i love to infodump about my music tastes. i really really appreciate being given an opportunity to do so <3

[hopevalley]

WCTH Write-Ups: 1.5, “The Dance”

Good morning, and welcome to another episode write-up! Two in a row! I feel like I’m on a roll, here!

In the last episode, we saw answers to a lot of questions, mostly in regards to the church fire. Cat was innocent, the fire was an accident, and Mr. Spurlock framed Cat out of bitter spite because she told him she wasn’t interested in him.

In this episode, the town finally gets some new miners! 

12 of them, to be exact. This doesn’t even come close to replacing the 47 who died, but I guess it’s a start? Anyway, they’re not too happy about walking into the saloon only to find it’s inhabited by a whole classroom. 

“We’ve spent six days crossing this cursed country. We came a long way to work in this mine. Least we can get is a drink.” Six days? That’s it? I mean, that’s nothing compared to how most of these people got out here. They were probably able to take a train and then get wagons instead of having to cross it all by horse, so... I don’t know. Six days is nothing. Try six months of travel and then I’d feel like you deserved a drink.

“Company’s just hiring single men.” Gee I wonder why. Maybe that has something to do with it being cheaper and easier, and they can house ‘em in the saloon rooms in smallish groups. I mean, there can only be so many rooms up there... Maybe 3? That puts four men to a room up there...

Anyway, I love Emily Dickinson so much, and for an episode to start with one of her poems is lovely. Billy Hamilton might be scummy, but Andrew Walker, his actor, does a beautiful delivery of the first stanza. 

“Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all -

First of all, this poem is a delightful addition to the series, but I don’t think that its theme should be overlooked. This is a poem about hope, but the series itself isn’t just about the general concept of hope, it’s about...the kind of hope that you feel through the worst times in your life, that protects you, that gets you through the storm; it’s about...hope everlasting. So it’s really fitting that it’s here, but I think with all of the other things that go on, it’s easily passed over.

Also, Billy is a smoooooth criminal... Calling her professor... That’d make me feel special, too. ;)

Anyway, Abigail returns for this episode, and we see a bunch of town women coming together to unravel sweaters to repurpose for baby blankets and clothes for Carla, a very pregnant lady. 

Also present are Florence, Elizabeth, Cat, Mary, and someone I don’t know.

“My husband wasn’t a chivalrous man, but he provided just fine for Caleb and me.”

I just want to say that I enjoy Mary’s character a lot. We don’t really see anyone else like her for the rest of the series, so it’s sad for me that after her little plotline wrapped up, she left the series.

Most of these women are able to admit to their husbands’ faults in, perhaps, more private company, but I think Mary’s admission is realistic and to-the-point. Her husband wasn’t much of a romantic, or maybe even a good lover, but he did all right as a provider and that was good enough. These days we might find it really sad to think about—I know I do—but in 1910 things would have been a lot different for these women. A reasonably good provider was about as good as it got, sometimes.

And Abigail echoes Mary’s point:

“You’re right, Mary. We all know how hard it is to find a good man.”

And then Carla: “Or a good father for our children.”

That they have to sometimes choose whether he’s a good husband, good lover, good provider, or good father is just awful. But that’s that on that, I guess. 1910, everybody!

Carla’s definitely at that late part of pregnancy where everything hurts and nothing is comfortable and sleeping is basically impossible. Doubly so for her because she has a little boy to take care of already, so it’s not as if she can take a nap whenever the mood strikes!

“Mounties and marriage: two subjects that don’t go together. At the academy they told us, if the Mounties wanted you to have a wife, we would have issued you one.”

Watching Jack put his foot into his mouth at the speed of light should be a little fun, and I know when I first saw this episode I was amused, but this is my fourth or fifth time watching this episode... Now I can’t help but think that this kind of...set up is actually an ongoing problem in the series. That is to say, Jack didn’t actually say anything bad? Anything unreasonable? Elizabeth literally just twisted his words to make what he said sound worse. I mean, women aren’t delicate, but he can’t exactly come out and say, “If a woman wants to pee she has to sit down or squat, and out in the wilderness with other men/soldiers around, it’s not exactly conducive to cultivating a full and loving marriage.” Or, “Imagine being pregnant out there with no help for miles if something goes wrong, or when you need to deliver.” 

Jack is being perfectly reasonable and he’s saying it in a way that gives the audience the idea that he was hoping to make Elizabeth laugh. But she doesn’t laugh, and the narrative, since it mostly follows her around (even the music does this), suggests that he’s some kind of vaguely misogynistic guy who underestimates women’s skill and ability or even their perseverance.

Sound familiar?

Yeah, it sounds like s4 and s5 Bill Avery, right? Consistently painted as unreasonable for overestimating women. Even though nothing about Bill’s personality in the early seasons would suggest he is that type of person at all.

Well, I guess they had to pass Forced Foot in Mouth Syndrome onto someone. (And the really nasty part of me can’t help but think that Jack is kind of a victim of this literal writing disease for quite some time... I wonder if or how much this played into Dan’s choice to leave the series, in the end?)

But that’s just speculation.

Anyway, that whole scene can be summed up as “Elizabeth fishes for a date and pulls out the wrong fish. Maybe. Flings it back into the sea.”

Listen, we’ve all been Mary at some point; we’ve all done something completely embarrassing in a store and wanted the ground to swallow us up. Luckily for her, a reasonable looking man helps her pick up the mess and introduces himself as Dewitt Graves. 

This scene is actually like, several levels of good, because even the music changes to accommodate a feeling, in this case, Mary at the counter being told her tab is full. Nobody gets mad at Ned over this, but I wish they did; heck, I honestly wish he had his own plotline. But the way the camera pans to Florence while the piano plays is just so...awful. I mean, sure, we know Florence is going to gossip about this incident, but in this particular moment what’s highlighted by the narrative presentation is Mary’s situation. We’ve probably all been there, too: had a card declined, or a card reader couldn’t read it at least. It’s awful, and it’s much worse for Mary. How’s she going to pay that tab off? (I also noticed the yarn in her basket... I wonder if it was to make something for Carla’s baby...)

It’s Mr. Graves to the rescue! Thank goodness. Even that scene is awkward and embarrassing...but at least she didn’t have to put everything back.

*Ned is the company store owner, so seeing him transition to a regular mercantile would be super, super cool. Plus he wouldn’t be a very popular person in town since he has to balance store credit and can’t do much more than the company policy allows him to, so that would have been a really fun plot to have.

Albert and Caleb interacting is another good scene, because Caleb gets to complain a bit about his family’s situation, and Albert gets to be understanding (and actually in more than just the episode he was introduced in, which sounds goofy but we need to be thankful for the little things). 

We also find out that Mary’s a pretty good cook.

After a couple of episodes without Abigail, it’s nice to see her back, and her patience is literally unmatched. I howled with laughter when a coworker told me he wanted to plant pickles in his garden; he had no idea that pickles came from cucumbers!! Literally no idea. NONE. I could not contain my amusement. But Abigail is kind to Elizabeth and instead of mocking her ignorance, she makes each new thing into a learning experience. And Elizabeth takes it in stride and even mocks her own ignorance a little bit.

“At home they were just in the serving dish... magically.” A shared joke; this was honestly and truly pretty cute.

Florence just barging into Abigail’s place out of nowhere was hilariously in character, but hey, she’s come with that hot goss so I guess that’s almost like she’s got a key. ;)

I love how Abigail doesn’t rise to the lure of gossip, though, and is just...practical about the situation? Mary’s had it harder than most, so it was nice of that man to buy her groceries. 

“I don’t think we can judge each other’s circumstances, Florence.”

“Are you ready to forget your Noah?”

“I will never forget my Noah, but at some point life goes on. For all of us. For you, too.”

And then Carla falls in the front door crying out for Abigail, kind of ruining this scene, or shunting it into the background.

Honestly, and again, this is the Abigail I loved as a character. She was good, but she wasn’t perfect, and her advice was always pretty gentle. I think she could have delivered it a little better, but she’s not wrong. Life does go on. But it made me think of Florence in s5, when Laura and Bill returned the note from the coat pocket to her. We learn about Florence so slowly that it’s wild to think at this point in the story we don’t really know her. She was madly in love with her Paul, and we know he adored her, too. 

I never got the feeling that Abigail felt that way about Noah, but something I’m more than willing to praise this show for is its diverse showcasing of relationships. Not every marriage was one of love at this time, and not every marriage that started out with love stayed that way. That’s still true today, though, isn’t it?

Anyway, these women oftentimes couldn’t support themselves, so relationships were their best bet. And I love that Abigail takes Mary’s side; it’s not fair to judge. As we see later in this episode, Mary’s position is difficult.

But back to this scene: when Carla needs help, even Florence rushes to help her and reassure her. 

This is the good stuff, you know what I mean? Abigail offering to let Carla move in for a while, Florence reassuring her that someone will look after her older boy, Elizabeth touched and moved by how these women step up and help one another.

“They go through life with such grace under fire. It makes me realize just how little I actually know about the real world. These women are teaching me by their example that when each of us offers a small kindness to a neighbor, it can become a very large blessing to the whole community.”

Like, Elizabeth isn’t stupid. She might be ignorant about how much work goes into making pickles, but she’s observant and willing to learn. In Elizabeth’s former life, she had no reason to think about these sorts of things; what ‘small kindness’ would she have offered her Hamilton neighbors? What kind of ‘community’ was she a part of there? It was a very different place and a different way of living. Here, in Coal Valley, small kindnesses oftentimes go a long way. People don’t have much; sometimes small kindnesses are all they have to give.

I really loved the touch of Mr. Backus showing the guys around a bit...recommending they all become a teetotaler (sober) like him. It’s not a long scene for him, but he’s clear-headed and obviously making an effort to improve himself...and he’s happy with that decision. It’s also kind of cool that he goes over to hang with Jack a bit afterward and have a drink of coffee.

Anyway, Billy puts on those smooth moves again with Elizabeth, and of course they work. He keeps it pretty low-key, though. And he doesn’t finish the poem. :(

Jack’s suspicion of him is kind of...eh. The guy hones in on Elizabeth but like, she’s the only really young woman in town that we’ve seen. Mary might be the next oldest? It’s hard to say. 

Anyway, any sane young miner would have the hots for Elizabeth... Just sayin’.

The real question is: who is that curly haired guy and why didn’t he stick around?

I still really enjoyed Sam (the miner that Jack locked up) telling him that night in the jail was actually “kind of peaceful.” I’m pretty sure this is when Jack decides to move into the jail.

James, the former school bully, asks Caleb about his mom’s attempt to get a new husband, which of course Caleb denies. 

I had to look James up to see if he was supposed to be the son of a character we know, and...I don’t think he is. His last name is Fermont. Maybe he’s the son of the unknown dark-haired woman who was at Abigail’s house for the sewing circle?

Anyway, there’s something to be said, again, about Ned. 

He handles all telegrams so he knows everyone’s business. Even police business. It’s wild that he doesn’t have a larger role in the story at any point, and has never had his own arc.

“No one’s ever called me Mr. Graves.”

He’s charming. You know, he’s not the most attractive guy ever, but he’s a good person and he’s got a nice sense of humor and he’s humble. I liked Dewitt a lot from the start. And y’know what else I like? That he looks a mess after a day in the mine. You know this guy works hard and he’s tired as heck and all the lines in his face took 10x worse with the coal dust, and... Just... He could be a real person.

And he clearly thinks Mary is cute and sweet as heck. I love her hesitation, though; she’s not sure what she should do, but she invites him to dinner because it’s what’s best for everybody.

“I know it’s making me a better person.” Elizabeth wanting to be a better person is great, too.

Jack’s intrusion and comments are so pointed though. “All you need is good aim.” I mean, also, I don’t know that he ever is shown going hunting again? Huh.

Anyway, Billy starts pushing a little more seriously; and Elizabeth doesn’t quite accept the bait. She admits she has dreams but says, “Dreams are like birthday wishes. Say them aloud and they might not come true.”

And then we get the part of the season that drives me bonkers: the poem that Billy gives to Elizabeth and claims as his own.

I wrote an entire post about how this drove me nuts, so I won’t repeat too much of it here, but c’mon. This is a famous ballad that Elizabeth probably grew up playing on the piano, or at least singing ‘round the piano. I find it really hard to believe she wouldn’t immediately know that he didn’t write it.

I mean, she does say, “It’s very familiar... I can’t place the poet, though.” But the fact that she doesn’t remain suspicious about that is wild.

On the plus side, Andrew Walker has such a blessed ability for reciting poetry. I wouldn’t have minded hearing him recite more. He’s good. 

I think with a little tweaking, I could have found this whole thing a bit more believable; maybe a different poem, one that she probably wouldn’t have had such an exposure to. Something more...obscure that she probably did read in the last few years, but which might have been easily forgotten in her studies. Not something she probably grew up singing? I don’t know.

I guess I just gotta give the writers credit for the way Billy tries to push off her feeling that it’s familiar with humor/romance and she just goes with it.

Listen, Dewitt is a good man. He doesn’t push Mary’s boundaries, he apologizes easily, he shows an understanding of Caleb’s situation, he waits for Mary to be seated before he sits, he’s genuinely sorry about taking the wrong hook on the wall... 

I was frustrated with Caleb watching it, but I totally got it. 

I think my favorite thing about this scene is that when Dewitt asks Mary to the dance (in this roundabout awkward kind of adorable way), she says she honored but asks to have time to think about it, and he’s fine with that.

“That’s all a man can ask for, is a little bit of hope.”

It’s sweet, but it’s not over the top. 

Mary’s conversation with Caleb is a little sad...but I feel like he’s just too young to really understand what it is she’s saying when she tells him: “Things don’t always turn out the way we want them to. Now, I’m your mama, and I’m going to do what I have to do for our family.” And then, a little bit later, “I need to look out for our future now. It’s what I’m doing as your mom. And you need to understand that.”

Clearly she’s trying to say, “I can’t provide for us by myself. I need a man and it’s not what I want to have to resort to, but that’s just how it is. It sucks but you need to understand that I don’t have a choice.”

I mean, we’ve seen her situation: the tab is full at the company store, she’s relying on Caleb to catch fish just to have something to eat that isn’t potato soup, and without store credit even potato soup is off the menu. How are they going to last the winter? 

In its own way, the whole situation is tragic. Even if Mary wasn’t madly in love with her husband, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want the time to grieve properly. Unfortunately her feelings aren’t allowed to matter; she can’t let them. She has to do what she can to ensure that her son has a future.

Something I don’t like about this episode is the suggestion that the town had a midwife “for years” who “left after the mining accident.” It’s one of those situations that might have been best left alone. I would have preferred that Abigail be an unofficial midwife or something, or even a short discussion about how their supposed midwife was just a woman who had birthed six children or eight children in her younger years and had experience and was better than no one at all.

The only reason I can think of that a midwife would leave town would be if she was afraid the town’s infrastructure would collapse and it would die. But eh. I think the worldbuilding around this midwife is extremely fragile and not very well-done. At least it was mentioned? I don’t know.

The Elizabeth/Jack conversation about Billy is kind of painful...and again we have Jack flinging his foot down his own windpipe... Sigh. The more it happens the less I like it. 

That’s all I can really say right now.

Elizabeth’s conversation with Mary is... I don’t know. It’s heavy. Not gonna lie, I wanted to see Mary all done up. That said, it’s probably for the best that Elizabeth brought up Caleb and ruined the moment. 

Mary tries to be frank with Elizabeth about her situation:

Mr. Graves is a good man

I think he may care for me

I didn’t think another man would ever pay attention to me again

I’m not willing to waste another minute frittering away my son’s future when this could be a chance for us.

Elizabeth says she “understands” to which Mary says, “I don’t think you do understand. You were raised with all of the options in the world available to you, and I have next to nothing.”

Mary isn’t wrong, and this is something I like about the early episodes; Elizabeth has GOOD INTENTIONS by saying she “understands” but there’s no way she fully can. She can’t really grasp what Mary is going through, not fully. It’s a shame because Elizabeth really didn’t mean any harm by it; she also really did want Mary to wear a pretty dress! But Elizabeth’s worry about Caleb came at the expense of her worry for Mary, and what that did was alienate Mary from feeling like she could rely on Elizabeth.

This is the kind of “miscommunication” that is believable and real, and that I wish the show had continued to utilize where it matters.

And here we’ve got it... Florence busts into the jail where Jack is and tells him that someone stole her late husband’s gold watch. 

“Someone broke into your house?”

“Right in the middle of the night with my child slumbering nearby!”

Missing is: gold watch, cufflinks. Both out of her top dresser drawer. 

Well, Florence has a child. Apparently. I don’t think we ever find out who the child is, let alone see them. I’m pretty sure this ends up retconned by the end of the first season/at the beginning of the second. Unless Florence’s “child” is a cat.

Anyway, something I do appreciate? That Florence is asked to keep quiet about this (so that the thief doesn’t get nervous and skip town) and...she actually...does so.

I find it hard to believe that the entire class would panic over a snake, but okay.

Caleb’s talk with Elizabeth is nice. She’s not always very good at talking to other adults about their pain, but I think she’s pretty good with the kids. Adults can’t help but see hidden meanings and nuance in everything; kids tend to just hear the words that are said.

Anyway, Caleb’s struggle with the memories, with the idea that maybe for his mom memories are painful, but for him they’re all good... That gets me a little in the feelings. And how Elizabeth just jumps in to let Caleb talk about his dad by asking what he was like... Man, she really is pretty good with the children. They need to grieve too, and oftentimes it’s in a way that’s different to how we as adults get through it. Her place as a bit of an outsider lets her ask these questions without any issue.

And Caleb doesn’t say anything, you know, revolutionary about his pa. He just says that he was tall and strong and funny, he liked to sing and whistle and fish, and they cooked fish together on the riverbank after they caught ‘em. “Nobody can replace him... Nobody.”

Abigail goes to the dance with Carla’s instructions to dance a waltz for her (which Abigail does, with Mr. Backus) and a promise to return soon.

Last year I made a post about how this dance is a great example of the magic of season one and I don’t want to repeat it too much here, but in the first few seconds you get an idea of how well off people are financially just based on what they wear; you see Cat and Ned as part of the musical trio who is playing. You see the younger women with their hair down or partially down and all the older women with their hair up and you see Abigail take charge to get the party started (this would be more or less her job as the highest ranked mine employee’s wife).

Even cooler, some kids did come to the party. The dances are short. The second the waltz comes on Abigail gets the dance she told Carla she’d get, and Elizabeth comes into the room with Billy Hamilton.

And then Caleb shows up in his dad’s coat. 

Which gets me right in the feelings every time, but the best part about it is that, at first nobody even really notices he’s there; the other kids don’t mock him or anything. Everyone is just...touched when he cuts in on his mom’s dance with Dewitt.  

And Dewitt bows out gracefully--and a few people seem touched by it but most people are wrapped up in their own dance and a big deal isn’t made of it. It’s just a nice, short, surprisingly touching scene.

The episode ends with Carla in labor, Billy being sweet on Elizabeth, and Jack getting a telegram that says the company Billy claims to have worked for...has never heard of him. 

DUN DUN DUN...

Overall Thoughts:

The plot in this episode is a lot calmer than before. We have small things going on, but the big plot was definitely the concept of ‘moving on’ and of, I guess, doing what needs to be done—or at least respecting other people’s decision to do so.

I don’t actually have a lot of thoughts? I guess I sat around going, “Wow there are a lot of people named William in this series who go by something else I guess.” 

But other than that, I was pretty much satisfied with this plot. Very little about it annoyed me or made me want to do editing. I really enjoy Mary as a character, too; her motivations are unique to her in this show and I wish they had been a little more thoroughly explored overall, but we get a decent amount of attention on her for a background character! (Still, her story alone could be almost its own novel.)

To end, how about the entirety of that Dickinson poem, hm?

“Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all - And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard - And sore must be the storm - That could abash the little Bird That kept so many warm - I’ve heard it in the chillest land - And on the strangest Sea - Yet - never - in Extremity, It asked a crumb - of me.

(314) Emily Dickinson

See you all again next episode!

[usaghinanami99]

@pichipichiparadise  Didn't I say you should be prepared for this? Well, here it comes! I hope I spelt all the titles right 'xD And sorry in advance for any grammar mistakes, I always do my best when I write in foreign languages but I'm just your average teenage fangirl who loses all of her reason before what she loves the most. Before starting, I should say that I love both slow romantic ballads and fast-paced pop songs on an even level, so I don't think I am too biased towards any of the two genres; truth to be said, MM offers some great pieces for both types of music, and I like all of them. Now, here's what you were all waiting for, i. e. my complete ranking of all the songs from the anime Mermaid Melody!

48) Ai no ondo Sorry, but it's just a big "no" for me. The tune is so irritating that it somehow annoys me to listen to it. 47) Koi wa nandarō? Urgh. Same as before. Irritating tune and even more irritating singer – it's higher on the list just thanks to some passages in the lyrics which make me think of some sort of sexual innuendo, and since I am both a hopeless romantic and a huge pervert, I vastly appreciate it XD 46) Oh, yeah! Alala Does this remind you of exaggeratedly cute idol songs? Because it's the impression it gives me, and it's not a good one. (OK, I'm overdoing, there are definitely some idols I like, but Jpop rarely clicks with me if it's not related to anime in some way) 45) Splash dream! Er... this is getting boring, but I just cannot stand Asumi Nakata's voice 'xD However, this is where the tunes stop being outright irritating for me, and it's just a matter of them failing to catch my heart. 44) Aurora no kaze ni notte I'm on shortage of comments already, I guess I'll just say that Ema Kogure sounds like a 2 year-older and that I keep on forgetting how the tune goes. 43) Star! Meromero heart Irritating singer, forgettable tune, stupid lyrics (I know it's done on purpose, but still). On with the next one. 42) Mother symphony OMG, I feel guilty for puttin your favourite song so low! Actually, I must admit that I've never thought about the lyrics the way you put it, and maybe reading your comment will help me appreciate this song a bit more ^^ However, this spot is where the songs start being just boring and uninteresting to me instead of plain unsufferable, so it's still something... I guess? 41) Nanatsu no umi no monogatari – Pearls of mermaid As I said, boring and forgettable and little else. I think I've already lost half of my readers by now. 40) Birth of love Really? Did they waste Eri Kitamura's talents to make her sing this so-so piece? That's a crime on my book! 39) Piece of love I said I love love songs, but that's simply an understatement: I am a literal sucker for slow, deep, emotional songs about feelings and such. But this... what I can see is that it tried to be a romantic piece but failed miserably and ended up being a mere yawn-inducing song. I'm not exaggerating, I really find it sleep-inducing! In this sense, it low-key reminds me of A dream is a wish your heart makes, lol. But I feel the need to repeat that I absolutely adore romantic ballads if done right, in fact the main theme from Beauty and the Beast is my single best favourite song in the whole freaking world, OK? But there's a clear limit between "romantically slow" and "sleepily slow", and this songs trespass it. 38) Mizuiro no senritsu I have a sensation that composing more upbeat songs is easier, because there can't be the risk to have your listeners fall asleep, or is it just me? In fact, this makes nice for a Jpop song... it's just that I'm not that big a Jpop fan to start, and the idols I do follow, such as Momoiro Clover Z, I do so just because they have sung songs from animes I love. I guess this song is somehow OK, it's just a matter of me not connecting with it. 37) Portami con te OK, finally here's what I think is the worst Italian song – in case you started thinking I was biased and would put all the Italian songs on top... well, you wouldn't exactly be wrong about the bias part, but still. For me, this song is just on the limit between "nice romantic slow songs" and "boring as heck slow songs": one day I find it sweet, the other day I think it is simply too slow. But what really made me decide to put it low in the list is the fact that it's a mere rearrangement of Yume no sono saki e instead of a completely new piece of music, thus making it the sole and only non-original song from the Italian dub... which is not cool. Definitely not cool. 36) Yume no sono saki e I really have the same opinion about this song and the last one, due to them being so terribly similar, but I decided to give this the higher spot because I'll be eternally pissed that they decided to use an already-existing base to arrange Portami con te, and that's not something I could ever forgive 'xD 35) Daijina takarabako (slow version) I think this could make for a nice lullaby. What else could I say? It's cute and it manages to be slow without being boring; now, I don't consider it to be necessarily unforgettable, but here we're starting heading for the better. 34) Hana to chō no serenade This is the perfect LanHua song, full stop: it's just as haunting, hypnotizing and mysterious as it should be, with that exotical feel to the tune that spices it up. And it is even better in French! It may seem to be too low in the list to be a song I like, but these are just the songs that I find to be good but not great. 33) Kibō no Kaneoto – Love goes on Now that's a pretty battle song! True, it may not be at Sera Myu level (but then, very few can compare to the eternal goddess Akiko Kosaka), but I admire the fact that it manages to be both sweet and relatively upbeat at the same time. 32) Concerto d'amore "Good but not great" is again all I can say about this one, so I'll add that I'm very disappointed by the fact that the second half of the song has never made it to the series proper and is therefore only present in the CD version – which is a shame, because I think that is where the song gets better. The tune is nice enough, but maybe it's overused, in the sense that it always plays whenever a radio is on during the show, which sometimes feeds me up; but it isn't a boring song, definitely not. 31) Voce del buio OK, I'll admit that the concept is good: this villain song wanted to be suffocating and practically impossible to forget, and it succeeded perfectly – that's the type of melody that just can't get out of your mind after one single listening. But there's too much rap for my taste and, though the contrast between the tune of the stanzas and that of the refrains is amazing, it somehow comes off as "I recognize is good, but it's not exactly my genre". 30) Ever blue Man, this song used to be so much lower in my list! The thing is, I just couldn't make myself listen to it without suffering terribly xD But then I heard the French version and I finally understood that it was just a case of me hating Hitomi Terakado with a passion that prevented me from appreciating the song! In fact, thanks to other foreign dubs (such as the Portuguese ones, but really, each one of them is better than the Japanese), I discovered thatt with a decent singer, it actually turned out to be a pretty song, and I'm more persuaded than ever now that the Cosplay Singers have just released their cover! I'll never understand why they tend to cast chipmunks instead of voice actors in Japan, but whatever. 29) Super love songs! Nice, clean, pleasing song of the more upbeat scale, with a catchy refrain: that's how I like my Jpop. 28) Daijina takarabako Even I cannot understand how can I like a solo by Asumi Nakata, whom I honestly detest, but I guess that when the melody enchants you, miracles can happen. Good job! 27) Legend of mermaid I think I can't say anything about this song that hasn't already been said xD Well, I like it but don't love it; I can only add that the instrumental intercourses in between the singing parts come off as really annoying to me, I think I don't enjoy the way they are arranged that much. 26) Ashita ga mienakute OMG this song. This song. This song. OK, sorry, let me rephrase that: as a 9 year-older watching Pure on TV, I was at best indifferent about Mikaru's feelings, and even partially blaimed her for the pain Lucia was suffering. Growing up, I melted out towards the character and, while I'll always be on Lucia's side when it comes to the love triangle stuff, as a middle-schooler I undertood that nothing of the love drama was Mikaru's fault. Some years ago, when I started using the Internet, I discovered that the Japanese dub of the anime had different songs from the Italian one, and was literally blown away upon first listening this one. A song sung by a handicapped girl my age who mourned about her solituted and sufference was, like, so much akeen to me as a person that it seems a strange coincidence. Add to that that I loved seeing depressed characters, because it helped me find my own depression a little less terrible. I've grown out of that phase now, mostly thanks to me having changed school, but this song holds a special place in my heart, and if I were to make a ranking of the most relatable songs I've ever listened to, this would come third after Belle and Let it go. 25) Tsubasa wo daite As lost in my thoughts as I were, I haven't mentioned the fact that both songs have got enchanting melodies (and I thought this even before knowing of the songs, because I absolutely loved the instrumentals that played when Mikaru and Mikeru spelt out their poems in the Italian dub). This version gains a higher place because, while Mikeru is less relatable than Mikaru, Junko Minagawa is a much better singer. Ah, and it's a song sung by a character who laments his condition and talks long about his feelings, which is exactly my cup of tea. 24) Kodō – Perfect harmony We're getting better and better with the battle songs! Here's another catchy one, but I'm afraid I haven't got much else to say about this. 23) Ankoku no tsubasa This is another case of the French version making me appreciate the song more than before – seriously, though, just listen to it! I really dig the style taken here, it screams "sexy villain" from every note and it's done so damn right. 22) Kizuna And here comes my favourite Japanese battle song! The thing is, I really dig the refrain but cannot say the same about the stanzas, so I decided to even it out putting it around the middle. What is more interesting to me, though, is that this song was clearly the basis used to compose Eternal eternity for the 3rd season of Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon Crystal, which makes it again more important. I know what I said before about me disapproving of rearrangements, but what can I do when one is just so unbelievably good? (Because yes, I indeed prefer Eternal eternity. Kill me now.) 21) Sekai de ichiban hayaku Asa ga kuru bashō Have I said how much I like sweet lullabies yet? Because I love them. I've got no more to say. 20) La nostra forza (rearrange) My first reaction upon hearing this on the CD was like "OMG how dare they ruin one of my favourite songs", but with time I learnt to understand that this style actually fits LanHua more than the regular version would have. Though I don't think I have to point out that the one sung by the BBS and Alala is far better. 19) Mermaid Melody – Principesse Sirene There's a complex love-hate relationship between me and this song, and it depends on how much weigth I put on each aspect of it: if I concentrate on the tune, I find it to be a great song worth of the glorious tradition of Italian OPs; if I concentrate on the rest, though... I really can't understand how they could come up with the idea of casting a 14 year-older to sing it, and this is without mentioning the absurdly stupid lyrics it features. Maybe this is what leads me to enjoy the karaoke version so much. 18) Legend of mermaid (slow version) What can I say, if not that it's cute and pretty and sad and everything else? I don't like Asumi Nakata and Hitomi Terakado's versions one bit, but Kana Ueda saves the song for me. And the instrumentals are far better than those of the original version. 17) Ai no kiseki Another awesomely sad and emotional song sung by Kana Ueda – see the pattern here? It's the type of song that really makes you cry, and I live for that. 16) Return to the sea Closing Kana Ueda's section, and at the same time opening the sequence of the songs that I outright love, comes Sara's awesome image song, which is tremendously catchy and terribly depressing at the same time. That's the magic of music (and cartoons) for you. 15) Taiyō no rakuen – Promised land That's exactly the type of Japanese OP that clicks with me for its catchyness, and well... What can one say about Miyuki Kanbe, apart from being sorry over her tragedy? She's incredible. She's an excellent musical actress and a perfect Usaghi (though to be fair, my best favourite is and will always be Anza Ōyama, no matter what, with Miyuki being a close second). Her singing is gorgeous and, as a sidenote, she's the person that made me realize that not all nasal voices are terrible – quite the contrary, on her case. 14) Beautiful wish This. Song. Is. Just. Perfect. Especially in French (but I guess you're tired of me saying that, uh?), but Eri Kitamura rules, too. This melody is just too perfect and it would deserve to be no. 1, if only there weren't some songs which are even more perfect imo. 13) Rainbow notes It's like the first OP, but even better: the catchyness has been brought up to eleven and Miyuki is as freaking skilled as always, and she'll be dearly missed forever. 12) Before the moment Sorry everyone, but the prize is going to the Pure OP for me (please don't kill me!). Not that I prefer Eri over Miyuki (though I love them both so much), but it just... well, listen to it. That music. 11) Star jewel Rina rocks and this song shows it excellently! And Mayumi Asano is the only one from the main trio who sounds like a real human being, so that's a plus. There's some pure awesomeness here. 10) Dolce melodia To think that, when I was a kid, I reckoned this song was just too much. I mean, not even for an instant did I dislike it (the contrary, in fact), but I found it to be so overused that it started tiring me, to the point of getting on my nerves. Now that I'm older, I've understood that beautiful things are always beautiful and can just get better every time you enjoy it again. Now I can listen to this song on repeat more than a dozen times in a round and always recognize it for the true masterpiece it is. (Except for Caren's version, that is – Rossella Liberti's voice is just something I can't stand.) 9) Kuro no Kyōsōkyoku – Concerto That is, the perfect villain song. Villain songs are really the best songs in the Japanese dub. I don't know what to add. Oh, wait... 8) Yami no baroque ...What do you mean, there's an even more perfect villain song? This show is just too much and it's so beautiful it's killing me, but I'll gladly die with Mermaid Melody if I must. 7) La nostra forza OK, the Japanese version definitely wins in the lyrics department, but the music here is just too prefect for it to be any lower. 6) Ritorno all'oceano Pure awesomeness and nothing more. Denise Misseri's version is gold and Francesca Daprati's is diamond, but there's really nothing else to say. 5) Battito d'amore Please don't judge this basing on the CD version, because the duet between Valentina Ponzone and Claudia D'Ulisse can't even remotely compare to the many stunning versions heard in the TV series. Battle song at its finest. 4) Fantastica poesia Battle song at its ultimate finest, i. e. The very best battle song ever! With the addition of some sexual innuendos to spice up the lyrics, how much better can it get? 3) Stella preziosa This. This better. It's a telltale sign the fact that I just can't bring myself to choose which I prefer between Francesca Daprati's version and Elisabetta Cavalli. 2) Assoluto amore I can't say anything else, I'm afraid. Perfect music, great lyrics and Valeria Caponnetto to do the goddesses' job. I'm in heaven. 1) Dolce melodia (orgel version) A sadly emotional arrangement of a great song? Yes, please. This song is too perfect and it's too much for my heart to bear, to the point that I'm not even listening to it as of now and I'm already crying just at the thought. Sung by Denise Misseri it's a masterpiece, but sung by Valeria Caponnetto it's the greatest tragic song ever.

[chibalein]

Kalafina Live Report - World Heritage Special  Live @ Nikkô PART 2/2

Now it’s finally about the songs :D

Click HERE for Part 1.

The concert began when the lights were darkened and the musicians took their seats, shortly testing their instruments, namely Sakurada at the piano and the Konno Hitoshi Strings… at the strings. Sakurada started by playing a short solo and Kalafina entered the stage in their super pretty white dresses (especially Hikaru looked great!). At this point, I want to mention (which of course you already know) that all songs were in acoustic version. With no big surprise, Kalafina started the special live with “storia”, which sounds quite different without drums and so on. I have heard this song so often by now that it doesn’t really impress me anymore, but this version really got it right and the Cello – aaah, so cool. Those who read my Live Report of the 9+ONE concert in Kitakyushu know that I found the acoustics in the hall very strange sometimes and often the girls drowned out each other, with Wakana often being uncomfortably loud – this wasn’t the case AT ALL in Nikkô. Maybe because of the trees that carried the echo better than an enclosed room, but the acoustics/the sound were great! You could hear each girl and the instruments perfectly without them interfering with each other. This fact made this concert especially memorable, in my opinion.

Anyway, “storia” was a beautiful introduction, while “Mirai” made me feel… well, the feeling you feel when you hear “Mirai”. The stage was illuminated in purple light and gave it a mysterious touch, quite the contrast to the song which is rather bright but not any less disappointing. But I admit, in acoustic version this song gets cooler and the Strings were again killing it (I apologize, but I might use this phrase more often from now on – because these dudes REALLY killed it with their super string power). Kalafina moved around a bit, going from one side of the stage to another, with happy faces and creating a happy mood. Especially Keiko felt the groove and swung around during the instrumental parts. Since there were no upbeat songs played this time, the crowd sat still the whole time, so I felt quite cold at this point.

MC #1 included the traditional introduction of Kalafina. They talked about how this was their first special concert of this kind and their first time in Nikkô/Tochigi prefecture in general. They didn’t fail to emphasize again and again how special the atmosphere and how beautiful sceneries that they have seen were. 

Kalafina continued with “fairytale”, with an absolute stunning beginning by the strings. It is very hard for me to describe the way they played, so I am sorry for that (but no words can convey the actual awesomeness). Well, you know the acoustic version from the Winter Acoustic Album – it was like this, but somehow better. Wakana was simply amazing! She sang perfectly (the whole time actually) and this song in this environment! They chose this one for this very reason, as they said earlier themselves. Keiko’s part on the other hand, was a perfect contrast to Wakana’s. Keiko was deep and emotional, with the Kajiurago bridge in the middle being simply amazing. Hikaru’s “sayonara” was short and cute, but I wish she would/could have done it like in the Red Moon Live back then… Again, the scenery. They illuminated the pagoda and the trees in the background again, adding to the mysterious atmosphere created by “fairytale”. In the final instrumental part, Kalafina moved slowly around, looking for invisible fairies.

The next song was “Manten” – I haven’t heard this song in such a long time that I had actually trouble to recognize it immediately. It was a whole different mood than before, much more dramatic, as the girls were illuminated from behind. Keiko killed her parts while the quartet did their best too. Best thing: the fog machine lol

Kalafina continued with “symphonia”, while being illuminated in red and orange. They really had some fun on stage, another great performance and interestingly different without the drums. Also at this point, it was getting colder and colder.

During MC #2, Wakana talked again about their first time here at Tôshôgû, with its beautiful nature and how people must have lived and felt here 400 years ago. I admit that I did not understand everything during their MCs, as they were talking rather quickly, almost rushing and using some bullshit keigo (Japanese polite form).

Now comes the highlight of the whole concert, at least for me: “Hyakka Ryouran”. OH MY FUCKING GOD. I can’t possibly explain this piece of acoustic gloriousness. During the instrumental beginning the whole stage was covered in deep red (well, no surprise), but when Keiko started it became so much sadder! Dear god, take away the e-guitar and drums from that song and you have a melancholic ballad. Keiko was just perfect. Then the lights changed to blue, with the chorus being suddenly much more dramatic than anime-like as in the original version. But now – the part that gave me literal goosebumps – Wakana’s kajiurago bridge. This goddamn bridge. It’s already beautiful in the original, it’s mysterious and adds well to the mood of the song. In this acoustic version, coming from a loud, rather fast and dramatic chorus, suddenly the singing pace became much slower and Wakana sang in such a sad, emotional way! Just this sudden transition from fast to slow was amazing, but Wakana made me feel actual pain. And then Hikaru – BOOM! She almost exploded with her part, singing louder and stronger compared to Wakana and the music gained speed and drama again, surrounded by red light again. It was a perfect harmony and seriously, this acoustic version of “Hyakka Ryouran” is much better than the original! Please God, make them sing it in the Acoustic Tour, too!

From this awesomeness, it went on with “Tombo”. Again, Keiko fooled me by saying “bla bla we want to sing another song from our most recent single................. Tombo”. Not “Kantankatan”. In fact, they got my hopes so high only to crush them AGAIN, I had to create a meme about my feelings at that very moment.

Seriously, what does a fan have to do hear this “Kantankatan” bitch live? JUST WHAT?!

ANYWAY. “Tombo” came with no suprise though, as it is a perfect song for an acoustic concert. Still, coming from “Hyakka Ryouran”, it felt quite strange, but during its performance the only things that were illuminated were the five-story pagoda in the background and the girls. Very very beautiful (you kind of get the picture from the photos of the news articles and the Kalafina blog posts). Well, and the performance was very nice.

Next song on the setlist was “far on the water”. As predicted, Kalafina would go with their “Rekishi Hiwa Historia” songs and the later “Into the World” wasn’t a surprise either. After rather sad songs, it was nice to have more fun and happiness on stage again. The girls were swinging and moving slowly, often looking past the audience into the future. Now, as I said, it was getting colder and colder and at this point, it was fucking freezing. I was shivering, but was too focused on the concert to use the damn kairo. Here I openly felt envious of all the rich bastards who bought the Kalablanket - it looked so comfy and warm T_T

During MC #3, Hikaru emphazised this cold weather more than clearly. She started rubbing her arms and legs and told us to do the same, making us laugh. I felt so sorry for them, because they didn’t really move during the concert and in those thin dresses, it must have been worse for them than for the audience. However, this provided us with the probably cutest WaKei moment in Kalafina history. Keiko ran to Wakana and hugged her strongly and long, like a child its mother that doesn’t want to be left in kindergarden, to warm herself. THEY WERE SO CUTE!!! And I could literally smell what almost everyone was thinking at this moment: “Let go of Wakana, Keiko. Let go and hug me”.

For the next block, Hikaru told us that they wanted to sing songs that convey a strong wills and desires. So the next one was “sandpiper”. SANDPIPER!!! FUCKING SAN--2§$%AIOSJKDNDFBP??DGJXGFFG!! I actually gasped (quite loudly xD), because I couldn’t believe it and I was like “fucking yes yes YES!”. I love “sandpiper” and wanted to hear it live for so long now, but certainly never expected it. I actually thought they forgot about this song lol This version was certainly dramatic, with a very dominant Cello, which only added to the drama, sadness and melancholy. Hikaru’s expressions were on point as ever. During the instrumental bridge, the surrounding trees were brightly illuminated while Kalafina were looking at them, simply beautiful. Wakana’s small part during the stanzas was not as strong as in the original (in the “After Eden” Live she is almost screaming, as you know), she was softer and quieter, giving Hikaru and Keiko the chance to really shine in their parts. The very last notes were played by the Piano and Cello only, boy this dudes killed it.

The following song was quite the surprise for me, as “Magia” wasn’t exactly a song I’d expect during an acoustic concert. I was like “What? Magia? Is that Magia?”. Which is why it was very strange to listen to, because it suddenly sounded… happier? Nicer? It’s very hard to describe xD When the chorus started, it gained its usual fierceness and strength again and the staff played a lot with the spotlights. I found it a bit sad though, that the girls did not move on stage at all. Hikaru made it up with her voice nevertheless, as she was singing very strongly and loudly, also more clipped, emphasizing every syllable. However, she appeared to have trouble with the “negai”s, as they sounded a bit forced and “out of breath”. However, during the second (or was it the last one?) chorus, I am 98% sure that either Keiko or Hikaru actually got the lyrics wrong! The last line of the second chorus is “kokoro ni furikazasu negai”, while for the last chorus it’s “inochi wo tsukuru no wa negai”. What (I think) happened is that either Keiko or Hikari mixed up “kokoro” and “inochi”, because in that short moment you could hear that it was not the same word being sung. Like I said, I am not completely sure (would love to hear from someone else who was there, whether it happened or not), but if so, then I guess even professionals like Kalafina aren’t safe from lyrics mix-up, right? It wasn’t a bad thing though. What I noticed too, was the missing of the “yeah hey hey” part at the beginning, middle and end.

From “Magia” it continued with “Gogatsu no Mahou”, certainly a song that makes a very nice acoustic version. At this point, I need to critizise Kalafina (yes, it wouldn’t be an original Chiba report if there wasn’t some needless nitpicking). I love “Gogatsu no Mahou”, loved it in “far on the water”, loved it during the 9+ONE concert, so that’s not the point – but dear Kalafina or whoever is responsible for choosing setlists: you chose “Gogatsu no Mahou” OVER “Kugatsu”? I mean, we had the end of September (it was vanishing!!) and the moon was barely visible due to the trees! Even the damn lyrics fit perfectly into the setting and you go with “Gogatsu no Mahou” instead?!

However. Wakana was beautiful as always in that song, while Keiko was dancing again slowly between the musicians during the instrumental parts (almost hippie-like, especially in that dress xD). Maybe I got it wrong, but I felt this song to be faster than usual? At least sometimes.

The Cello and Piano would introduce the next song, “Yume no Daichi” in a very deep way, which again led to not even recognize the song in the beginning. As usual, great performance, great harmony, great shivering.

MC #4 was mainly about Keiko saying again how special this day is for them, followed by the band introduction. Then the audience was asked “Is everyone alright?”, because it was so cold. Everyone laughed, but my feet were totally numb, so NO KEIKO I WASN’T ALRIGHT! Before the concert, the girls were guided around Tôshôgû (see Kalafina blog) and got some energy out of it, as they wanted to experience and cherish (their own) history? Something along this lines.

Well, we were already coming to an end and Kalafina wanted to sing a strong song as the “final” one: “Into the World”, of course. Wakana was very strong here and their harmony was again spotless. Keiko actually moved her arms and body a lot, while the very last line was a bit off-key for my sensitive ears. They traditionally fake-ended the event. While we waited for them to return, I honestly thought “Just get your drink and return, IT’S COLD AND YOU KNOW IT! COME ON, LADIES, GO GO GO!”. It was really cold <_<

For the Encore, Keiko said herself that they will hurry know, as everyone needs to return and catch the train, too. Well, Nikkô isn’t exactly a traffic junction, with the JR train for Utsunomiya (where the Shinkansen is) only going once an hour, so basically everyone needed to return via this very connection, unless they came here with car. Tôshôgû isn’t near JR station, so even an extra shuttle bus was prepared, as the normal busses were not operating anymore, either.

So they sang the last song, “Yasashii Uta”, having all the nice people and places they have met and seen during this occasion in mind. I admit, I never listen to that song, though I don’t particularly dislike it, so I was like “Eh, ok? Great”. For the final act, the pagoda and all the trees behind, left and right of the stage were brightly illuminated (this is the part where probably all the photos for the news coverage were taken, as you could hear the clicking of the cameras quite loudly XD). It was an amazing experience, with the starry sky and this particular song. The atmosphere was cheerful and Kalafina succeeded to convey happy emotions. Keiko hit those high notes like a pro, and it made a great final performance. At the end, they took a bow, waved and thanked everyone, hurrying from one side to another, shouting “Hurry, hurry!”. Keiko and Wakana left the stage, Hikaru slowly followed, waving (so cute xD). Then everyone proceeded to take photos of the stage, as the background was still illuminated and left the area, towards the shuttle busses and towards home.

And that’s it, that was the special commemoration concert in Nikkô. Here are some final thoughts:

1. Unlike during the 9+ONE concert, Kalafina had a perfect harmony with some song surprises, the musicians did a fantastic job in arranging rather upbeat songs into beautiful acoustic versions and conveying this awesomeness at such an impressive set. It was my first acoustic concert of Kalafina, but still I say it was one of their best concerts in general. However, it was very short (it only lasted about 1 hour and 15 minutes), I wish it had been longer (since it wasn’t cheap to get there, either).

2. I wish they would have interacted with the fans a bit more. They had a time limit, but they also made this quite obvious, as they seemed to rush through the whole thing.

3. I love how they sung without any technical help, it terms of pre-recorded parts mixed into the live singing, as it is the case during the normal concerts. So, all the kajiurago bridges were sung by them and arranged accordingly and it made the songs so much more beautiful.

4. NO KANTANKATAN!!! GAAARGH!!

5. NO HIKARI FURU!! They did all these illuminations and stuff! I mean, IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES! GAAARGH!

6. Here’s a list with all the songs I would have loved to hear as acoustic version instead of “Mirai”: “Kugatsu”, “Usumurasaki” (they could have done so much with the lighting too T_T), “Oblivious”, “Red Moon”, “Seventh Heaven”, “Kimi ga Hikari ni Kaeteyuku”, or any other song than “Mirai”. They really HAVE to do at least one shitty song at each concert. [/bitchy complaint mode off]

Thank you for reading my long report, I hope you liked it! If you find any mistakes regarding the content, have anything to add or questions, feel free to comment! (Any grammar mistakes you can keep as usual). My next Kalafina Live Report will be about the Acoustic Tour concert in Zama in November :)

[loving-jack-kelly]

Today I saw Bandstand, the matinee of September 16

y’all, i entered prepared to cry

I stood in line to get my ticket scanned and snapped the group chat that I was gonna cry

and I cried more than I thought I would

this post ended up as mostly plot details I’m passionate about so wait for the next one for production stuff and acting stuff

I walked in, the theatre was smaller than I thought, but the stage was gorgeous

the set was super simple walking in, and there wasn’t a curtain, so you just saw a super simple bar/club scene, a small stage and counter and the open dancefloor

the back of the “buildings” was open, and you could see through to a brick wall

then the lights were AMAZING

the lighting design alone made me cry probably more than I’m willing to admit, but let’s generously round down to like fifteen

the stage was just barely lit up before curtain, so you could see the set but it clearly wasn’t active, dim lights and almost the ambiance of a closed club, which was perfect

also, they were playing big band swing over the loudspeakers in the background, so it was just lovely and nice

then the show started and oh my god

oh my god

if you’ve listened to the soundtrack (if you haven’t do it’s amazing) you know Just Like It Was Before starts out with The Drumbeattm 

However, the show actually starts with gunfire and bombs falling and slowly getting louder until you’re hearing the dirt rain down, and the lights go up

on Donny and Michael using the stairs of the set stage like their trench, and Julia in the foreground, putting flowers in a vase, completely oblivious to her husband’s coming death

then Donny is having a rough time, almost like he was disassociating, and Michael is trying to get him involved and back in his own head with the “there is a train” bit

Donny yells “Get Out!” and as that happens you realize Michael, who you actually don’t know is Michael yet I don’t think, died and that Julia is his husband because you see Julia get the telegram and collapse

honestly just this song could have it’s own post but anyway

so Donny gets home and tries to find work to the chorus of “It’ll be just like it was before!” and at first he was genuinely happy to be home and optimistic, but he slowly starts drinking more and more and is getting angrier

after the guy says “try the community theatre guild” Donny gets mad and pushes a box out of his hands and get’s beat up by security, which I didn’t realize, and he sings the “that’s what they tell me/why not believe it” section on the ground sort of nursing his bruises, curled up, clearly desperate

and he loses it more and more during the song until he has a really bad flashback (flashbacks get their own section it was so well done) and has a panic attack, which leaves him on the ground next to his piano

but when Andre Barouche gets on the radio, every time the music lifts Donny pulls himself up a little more, until you see him pulling himself together during Donny Novitski

I Know a Guy was hilarious and then it was emotional

Jimmy is a nerd, he wore a sweater vest

He knew Michael before the war, and they used to play together. Also, you learn Michael was killed by friendly fire, but Donny doesn’t elaborate.

also you learn that Michael was known as “Rubber” and I didn’t get the joke until Donny and Julia talked about it later, but it was a condom joke because their last name is Trojan, and apparently Michael has had that nickname since high school

Davey constantly makes Shakespeare references and has the best one liners, although Johnny is a close competitor for that one

Ain’t We Proud was incredible. I’m not usually much of a fan of trumpet solos but Joey Pero managed to convert me. It was insane. All of them were amazing musicians

also, scene transitions usually featured ensemble members dancing across the stage in cute little mini scenes, like a soldier and his girl walking holding hands, only swing dancing. I loved it

So until this point, you’ve only seen Julia, not met her, and Donny promised Michael he’s check on her, but it takes him until then to screw up the courage to go and he almost walks away but she said “aren’t you a little old for ding dong ditch” so he came back. I love Julia and Laura Osnes a lot.

also, for the record, I said I’d cry when Corey and Laura were on stage. I cried as soon as they were on stage. 

Donny’s clothes for the first few songs were loose, like he wasn't eating well or sleeping much, which we knew, but as soon as he was performing again they fit better

Who I Was takes place after Julia invites Donny to come for dinner, and June tells her not to ask about how Michael died because Donny might not want to talk about it

Donny comes for dinner, Beth Leavel shows her incredible comedic timing, and somehow the script and acting are perfect enough that I went from laughing to crying in .2 seconds so kudos to the Bandstand team for that one

Donny 100% tricked Julia into singing with them, he invited her to watch their set and then called her up to sing

but she agrees to join, which leads to Breathe and You Deserve It

awesome fact: in You Deserve It when they sing “I look to my left, I look to my right” they are only talking about each other, everyone dancing to their song freezes

Donny wanted to use You Deserve It as their contest song, but Nick was gonna leave and join the Dwight Ansen Band because he thought they had a better chance of winning, and they get into a physical fight over it. Donny can’t stand the thought of Nick leaving the band created by vets for vets

Love Will Come and Find Me Again is actually a poem Julia wrote that Donny set to music, and Nick stayed with them when they chose that song

They won the Ohio contest! But then they found out they had to pay for their own train and hotel, which triggered another panic attack from Donny

actually, all of them did, but they all showed it in different ways, which was so cool

Donny fell over and was clearly having an actual panic attack, Davey started cracking jokes but very aggressive ones, things like that

Donny starts Right This Way in a panic attack, just like how he sang in Just Like It Was Before

Corey Cott is so talented, everyone is talking about Ben Platt crying while singing but Corey is not only crying he’s on the ground curled up in a ball, breathing weird, crying, and still managing to belt beautifully

The Drumbeat

The Drumbeat is incredible okay it’s so good, and Donny was singing to himself more than anything about the train, because it was a promise between him and Michael, who had been his best friend during the war, that one day they’d make it home and take the train to New York, first class

even when the whole band is singing in Right This Way, Julia isn’t until the final stanza, when she takes her place in line and sings alongside them

Nobody was amazing go watch the Tony performance and multiply that amazingness by like ten

at one point a guy slid on his chair until it was literally on the edge and stopped just in time and he looked very smug about it too

I Got A Theory was adorable, the scene before it was Donny and Julia hanging out and Julia makes up the song on the spot after Donny and her talk about Michael and you learn they played together to get the troops going and Michael kept saying “faster” until he yelled “now sing” and it was both touching and funny

Julia plays the ukulele throughout the whole song again I love her and Laura Osnes

Johnny! My Boy! he’s so good! 

“I’m one of the lucky ones...because I don’t remember” I cried

Joe Carroll’s comedic timing was insane? every one of his jokes landed and it was amazing

even though he’s “on brain matter, shy” he really isn’t and he does the math in his head

after that, Donny is walking Julia home and earlier they fought about her changing her name and going by Adams (her maiden name) and she said no because so much of her life with Michael had been erased she wasn’t erasing his name too

and she pushes Donny to talk about what happened and he Explodes

and this scene is probably where I cried the most, it was just the two of them onstage, no music at all even from the orchestra, gentle lighting, and both of them were sobbing

Donny tells Julia how Michael had been in a trench on a hill for three days, no sleep, with Donny and the rest of the men you saw in the very beginning. Michael had thrown a grenade that night, while it was raining, desperate to make some kind of progress, and Donny had tried to do the same. When Donny pulled the pin, he dropped the grenade, and it got lost in the mud. Neither of them could find it, and Donny yelled “Get Out!” and dove away into another hole down the hill, but Michael wasn’t next to him. He spent the rest of the night trying to keep whatever was left from washing away, but there wasn’t even a body to bury.

Julia ran home and didn’t show up the next night to play, and Everything Happens is right after than, when Donny calls to see if Julia is coming

I still hold that Everything Happens is super important, even more so now after seeing the show. June knows what’s up.

Julia writes Welcome Home as a sort of apology poem to the band, and Donny puts it to music

Donny sings probably about a verse of it alone on stage, and the chorus, and I nearly sobbed audibly 

He also changes the lyrics to be a love song, still Welcome Home but from the perspective of a girl seeing her soldier come home

a good speech from Donny at the VA hall where they perform that version: “I’m sure when we hear them say hero, we don’t know who she’s talking about, cause none of us feel like one” 

Oliver, the owner of one of the clubs, got enough money together with the help of the city to get them to New York and cue a freaking EPIC set change that changed my life I swear but I think I’m gonna make another post about set and lighting bc this one is already long and it’s mostly just plot

so they go to New York and get told they do get to perform, because NBC tricked them so they had to go through another audition before getting to perform, and Donny and Julia have to sign a paper saying they can air the song, and they’re planning to sing Love Will Come and Find Me Again

then comes This is Life, and the entire thing is sung softly in front of Julia’s hotel room door and they were super close and like hugging and it was soft and adorable until they pulled away because they decided they couldn’t have a relationship with the baggage they share about Michael

then right before they perform, Jimmy is missing, and he shows up and reveals that NBC tricked them into giving away the right to Love Will Come and Find Me which is when Donny decides to do the original Welcome Home, the one about what it’s really like to come home from the war

The raw emotion of Welcome Home was crazy. The entire cast was insane. I cried again. Alot.

They don’t actually announce the winner, it goes right from them about to announce it to the Donny Nova Band leaving the movie theater, but you find it it was Illinois who won, but their band is doing well. 

it was so good and now I’m gonna make another post about production and acting because it was incredible but this post is already so long