#and the prison is endgame stuff

[gwinaesfer]

Realistically how could one go about having Cole in Veilguard because I really want him in my rewrite but I need a better reason than "I like him and I want him there"

[pmakuma]

04 / 19 / 24

this sure was. a match. yep.

[saym0-0]

yeah also gunsmoke/timashes is canon

au where when martin calls their bluff in season 4 (? its been a while idk where exactly) about stabbing their eyes out and running away together, they go fuck you no and actually go through with it. they then go to their only other friends, their former band mates like heeyyy i just disabled myself and cant really live alone rn help 🙏 and boom somehow they restart the mechanisms. jon gets cool steampunk prosthetic eyes. they look like this. (image under the cut). oh yeah they/them jon because they deserve it

(link to the reddit post this is from)

[woetoy]

Twist a gal's arm why don't ya~ Next time I'm asking for something in return ;3

Breeding Vidya Games:

Corruption of Champions- The OG in my book. An older one with a lot of fun stuff and nuance. More fantasy oriented than the rest with minotaurs and hellhounds (both of which can breed the player character). One of the earliest recurring characters you meet is a goblin girl "convincing" the player character to knock her up. Stats like cum production (by the milliliter) are tracked and even minmax-able. Players encounter consumable items that cause minor transformations. Scripted birth scenes with PC and preggable NPC's. Sex scenes are also all scripted. Almost entirely text based. Might need to install Flash Debugger to run it.

Trials in Tainted Space- Essentially the Sci-Fi counterpart for the previous entry. Stats are even more granular and there are far more... Interesting transformations (You can get your character to cum MILK). Has an entire space station with a subplot devoted to "donating" your womb to repopulation of an alien species (getting paid to get pregged). Sex scenes are still scripted and text based. Important NPC's are given character portraits.

Broken Dreams Correctional Center- Similar to the previous entry, though with a Prison Colony roleplay angle. Has "Skill Trees" devoted to breeding and being bred respectively, giving differently themed bonuses to sex and combat. PROCEDURAL and DYNAMIC sex scenes (unless it's part of a characters side-quest) with animated paper doll characters. You get to slowly watch your character's belly slowly grow throughout pregnancy ❤️ Mechanics for turning your fellow inmates into breeding slaves and vice-versa~

Degrees of Lewdity- Everything from the previous entry with slightly less robust paperdoll animation. Not reeeeaaally a furry game but there are furry elements (stray dogs, foxes, wolves, and other critters can fuck and preg you). MOST ROBUST procedural dynamic sex letting you control reach different limb during sex. Wraps Combat and Sex into the same "struggle" encounters where attackers tear your clothes off and and fuck you WHILE you fight back (or don't ~). Playing dress-up is the REAL endgame.

Hole Dweller- Probably the silliest entry. Sandbox-type game with a pretty damn fun drilling minigame. Sex positions are selected from a menu when unlocked with small semi-customizable character models. You can get TURBO PREGNANT. I won't elaborate on this further.

DM me for links if you can't find em ~

Happy new year!

HYPE HYPE HYPE!!!

This is so comprehensive, thank you!!!!! Can't wait to check these out >:3c

HAPP NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO

[kaylopolis]

Alastor's Shadow (18+) - Chapter Thirteen

Alastor x F!Reader, Alias: Thestral

Synopsis: There’s a new Overlord in town and it isn’t the Radio Demon. Six years after you fell into Hell, you have finally earned your seat at the table as Pentagram City’s newest and baddest and with the Extermination coming six months earlier than planned, it is now time to implement your ultimate endgame. After all, who doesn’t love a bit of power and chaos? Your plan brings you to the doorstep of the Hazbin Hotel as Charlie’s newest Redeemer, but who you find waiting for you will not only turn your entire plan upside down but also challenge your grab for power… 

Tag List: Slow burn, rivals to lovers, eventual smut

Masterlist Link: Masterlist

(Let me know if you want to be added to the Tag List!)

____________________________________________

Author note: Dear Hoteliers,

Lots of historical stuff happening, but don't worry, I have little endnotes explaining each with links to more information at the end of the chapter!

Spoiler Warning: Be careful if you flip between the end to read the notes as you read the chapter. There is a major spoiler at the end of the chapter you might accidentally read!

<3 Stay smutty

Chapter Thirteen - The Truth

Content Warning: Spoilers after the end of the chapter; mentions of physical and psychological abuse, panic attack (let me know if I missed any!) MINORS DNI!!!!!

(107 years ago, Heaven) 

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! 

“Enter,” the Seraphim’s voice called from behind the wood. 

Your head held high, your shoulders squared, you entered your Father’s office. The sword strapped to your side knocked against your hip as you walked. Although you wore your casual blue robes and not your metal armor, the sword never left your side. You tucked your golden wings in, your blonde hair cut short to frame your face, the wisps of your bangs barely brushing your collarbones. 

Stopping before Father’s desk, you nodded to the others in the room in greeting: Adam, the Seraphim, and a few of Father’s personal guards who filed out of the room after you entered. 

“Father,” you stated, waiting for him to begin. 

From a worldwide flood to raining frogs in Egypt, a meeting in this office always meant serious business. After all, out of all your siblings, you were the most trustworthy. “Father’s Golden Girl,” they all called you - and not just because of your looks. You were his warrior, his right-hand man, his perpetrator of action. You carried out God’s will. 

“You are aware of the current events of Earth,” a statement, not a question. 

It was January 1917. The mortals were in the middle of a war to end all wars. Who didn’t know? 

“Just yesterday, our Ishim delegates intercepted a telegram from Arthur Zimmerman to the Mexican Government proposing an alliance between Germany and Mexico to invade the United States.*” Sera slid a piece of paper across the desk. You glanced at it but didn’t give it much thought.

The Ishim were low-level Angels, more human than divinity, really. They carried out more menial endeavors. Father dispatched a hundred to Earth a year before the war broke out. Why? You weren’t sure, but you were about to find out. 

“This war is the mortal’s problem, is it not?” You asked. 

Adam caught your eye from the corner of the room he stood in, his usual cockiness replaced with… you sniffed. Guilt? 

“Not anymore.” 

That caught your attention.

“We believe this telegram was sent by Eve.” 

You took a step back, clenching your jaw shut to prevent it from falling open. Instinctively, your hand found the hilt of your sword. “She escaped?” You looked at Adam, but he didn’t look back, his gaze downcast as a wave of emotions weighed down his shoulders. 

“Some years ago, yes,” Sera answered.

But why didn’t they… Oh, they couldn’t have sent you right away. No one knew she had escaped, and they weren’t about to let it get out that the evil Evelyn of Eden had bested Heaven’s topmost security prison. Technically, it was the only one Heaven had, and it only had one prisoner, but still. Especially after the whole Lucifer and Lilith incident. Rumor had it they were in love. 

You eye the telegram on the desk. “What do you need from me?” 

Wouldn’t be the first time you hunted down a human. Cain went into hiding after he murdered Abel. You found him not long after - even with the magic he used to conceal himself from you. 

“Find Evelyn and bring her back.” 

You nodded, taking the telegram. It smelled of roses, how fitting for the Second Lady of Eden. 

“Mikaela,” Father called after you. You paused. “Do not disappoint me.” 

You nodded before shutting the door behind you. 

Time to go to work. 

____________________________________________

(1917, Russia)

This tux was killing you. It was itchy, it was hot, and more importantly, it was suffocating. You didn't have much time to find a suit that fit, so you grabbed whatever the tailor had. Unfortunately for you, the collar was way too tight, and it constantly rubbed against the injury on your neck.

The music echoed off the ridiculously decorated walls of the Palace. Gosh, you did not enjoy the pianoforte. It was like the instrument was screaming every time one of the strings was plucked.

Just find her and get out. You've been chasing her nearly a year and this was as close as you had gotten to capturing her. Evelyn was slippery...

You pushed through the crowd, making your way around the dancefloor.

"Шампанское, сэр. Champagne, sir?" A servant thrusted a tray in front of your face. You turned up your nose and pushed onwards.

Ugh, alcohol, you've never touched the stuff.

Sniffing, you could smell the roses. The room was filled with the scent of them, the aroma so pungent you could reach out and touch it. So, she was here, but where exactly?

Making your way to the front of the room, you stopped when you finally spotted her. "What is she doing?" You asked yourself.

Evelyn, her brown hair done up in a mass of stacked curls atop her head, was whispering in the ear of the Grand Duke Michael Alexandrovich. The feather sticking out of her hair wiggled as she laughed.

What is the Second Woman doing playing fairytale at a royal Russian Ball? She even had the dress to go along with it all.

Whatever, all you had to do was grab her and get out.

You pulled your sword from the Void and took a step forward - wait, no. You couldn't work like this. Ripping off the bowtie, you undid the top two buttons, freeing your neck. You rubbed at the black and blue bruises, the action soothing but also painful.

Okay, let's do this.

"У него есть меч! Он собирается попытаться убить царя! He's got a sword! He's going to try and kill the Tsar!" A woman screamed.

Oh, crap. Last time you were down here, everyone carried a sword. Now, nearly two thousand years later, they don't seem to like it so much... Oops.

The room plunged into chaos.

Briefly, you made eye contact with Evelyn. Her brown eyes flashed with confusion before they changed to recognition and then acknowledgment - she recognized you and knew why you were there. Evelyn smiled, mouthing the words, "Hello, Mikaela," before she disappeared into the crowd.

You tried to follow, but you were tackled by a guard. The sword went flying out of your hand as you hit the ground, a bear of a man sitting on top of you.

Great... You were hoping this was going to be an easy in-and-out type of mission...

Pushing the man easily off of you and collecting your sword. Shoving it back into the Void, you huffed, blowing the hair out of your face. You had cut it so short that the seamstress laughed when you walked into the boutique shopping for a dress. She thought you were a man. You’d be mad but, it wasn’t the first time humanity has made that mistake.

Jesus' Disciples named you "Michael" instead of "Mikaela." Ever since then, humanity thought you were a man. It was kind of insulting when you read the first draft and a little sexist...

Alright, let's get out of here and see if we can track her down.

A wall of guards stepped into your path before you could make much progress.

You groaned. It was going to be a long night...

____________________________________________

(1923, Chicago)

“Another?” The bartender asked. You nodded and watched as she poured you a glass of soda water and lemon. Taking a long sip, letting the bubbles dance across your tongue, you went back to twirling your glass. 

“You sure you don’t want anything else to drink? Any alcohol?” She asked.

You shook your head. “Not one for the taste, I’m afraid.”

She finally let you be, busying herself with dirty glasses.

You were growing restless on the barstool, the smoke from the cigarettes giving you a headache. Drinking in public for women was scandalous in this day and age - even though you technically weren’t drinking, you were a woman alone at a bar - and you had caught your fair share of male attention. You denied and denied and denied until the men finally got the message.

But this wasn’t just any old bar, and you were hoping that, eventually, word of your presence here would attract a different kind of attention. 

The aroma of roses hit you before her voice did. 

“This seat taken?”

Right on schedule. 

“Not at all, Evelyn,” you motioned to the stool. “Please.”

The brunette settled in next to you, her iconic long hair chopped and curled around her face. Other than that, she looked exactly the same as you left her, save for the wardrobe change - a string of pearls and a grey silk dress that left her ankles exposed. She was always a fashion rebel, pushing the iconic clothing of the decades to the point of scandal. Speaking of, you tried hard not to look at her cleavage - it would take another few decades before that became appropriate in public. 

“Please, call me Eve. To what do I owe the honor?” She sang as the bar girl poured her a gin and tonic. 

“Come back,” you ordered. 

She huffed, “Oh, come on. This is the first proper conversation you and I have ever had, don’t bore me with the self-righteous bullshit propaganda your father feeds you.”

You've been chasing her for six years now. Every time you met, it was all action before she slipped away. How she managed to disappear every time, you didn't know.

She stirred the ice around in her glass before gulping down the entire drink. “You and I both know I am not going back willingly.”

You had to give her the option. 

“You’re going back either way.”

“I want you to meet someone,” she smiled, changing the subject. “Al!” Eve waived to a rather portly man at the back of the establishment. The mortal was dressed to the nines in a blue pinstriped suit and accompanying fedora. 

“Hey, dollface,” the gentleman kissed Eve on the cheek before taking his hat off and tipping it in greeting. “Pleased'ta meet’ya miss, Al Capone at your service."

Ugh. 

You stood, grabbing Eve’s upper arm as you attempted to lug her towards the main entrance. The motion sent a sharp pain through your bruised shoulder. “Let’s go,” you winced.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Eve giggled. The sclera of her eyes flashed black before she turned back to the bar and screamed. “Al! She’s with the fuzz!” 

CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! The echoes of guns loading rang out across the bar. 

Fucking Mafia. 

You didn’t drop Eve’s arm. 

“We can do this the easy way, toots, or the hard way,” Al said, holding a pistol to your face. Despite being no taller than you, he did his best to look threatening. 

“Between you and me,” Eve leaned in and whispered. “I’m pretty sure the fat one’s got syphilis.” She motioned to Capone. 

Why, Eve? Why was that important right now? 

She giggled before pulling out an extremely small pistol from her cleavage. The Angel pointed it at your head. You held your hands up as if feigning surrender. “That won’t kill me, Eve.”

“I know,” she laughed, smiling wildly. 

Was this fun for her?

“But it'll kill them,” she motioned to a random man before turning and shooting him straight in the face. 

The bar plunged into chaos as you ducked for cover. Rolling your eyes, you mumbled beneath your breath, “The hard way it is.” 

____________________________________________

(1937 Lae, New Guinea)

You rolled open the hangar doors. It was late, well past midnight. An oil lantern hung from a mobile post, illuminating the opened engine of a two-seater plane. 

Ensuring your sword was strapped to your side, you trudged through the hangar doors, cautiously approaching the single soul inside. As per usual, the room smelled of roses.

You were but one step in the door when Eve called out, “Mikaela!” Her head popped out from behind the engine. “Good to see you! Been a while, hasn’t it? Chicago, good times.” She dove back inside the engine, half her body sticking out of the contraption. A blue tarp had been laid at her feet, to capture oil as she worked, you assumed.

“You shot up a bar, nearly set it on fire, and almost burned the city to the ground - again… I wouldn’t exactly call that fun.” Keeping your distance, you circled around to the front of the plane. You had better chances of catching the plague than predicting her next move. Eve was wildly unpredictable. 

“Oh, my friend,” her sclera flashed black as she smiled over her shoulder. “Chaos is always fun.”

“Why are you doing this, Eve?” And more importantly, what was she doing?

“Can’t a girl love power and chaos with absolutely no motive?” She played dumb, her voice echoing from within the metal compartment. 

You crossed your arms, your silence communicating that she had asked a dumb question. 

“I’m sick and tired of Heaven, of them always telling me who I am and what to do.” She shrugged, ripping out a piece of the engine. “I’m taking it back.”

“Stop messing around with the airplane, Eve.” You felt like you were scolding a child. 

She paused, a metal component in her hand, oil coating her fingers, as she backed out of the engine. Eve waived the metal part around as she spoke. “Aren’t you sick of being their puppet? Of… Of being a part of their machine? Of being told to jump and asking how high?” Grabbing a brown saddle bag, she stuffed the components inside, the tarp crunching beneath her feet.

Oh good, she was sabotaging the plane. Great. You didn’t know why she did half the things she did, but sabotaging Amelia Earhart’s plane? Just... Why? What did that accomplish? 

“I’m an Archangel - a soldier - and soldiers follow orders,” you responded, watching Eve clean the oil off her hands. 

“And if they don’t?” She raised an eyebrow, motioning to your wrist. 

As if on instinct, you tugged on your sleeves to hide the bruises. 

“Adam was a dick,” she continued, “but he never touched me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you felt the blood drain from your face.

She sighed as she got to her feet. You watched the conflict play out on her face. Did she push the topic? Did she change it completely? 

"Do you know how they caught me the first time?” she smiled.

“Adam.” You answered, your eyes following her every move. She was planning to bolt. You could feel it. She wouldn't get away this time.

“They used him as bait,” she grabbed her satchel and threw the loop over her head. “And trapped me in a Pentagram.” Eve kicked the edge of the blue tarp beneath your feet to reveal the edge of a chalk line.

She was smart; she kept you distracted and annoyed just enough to keep your eyes off the floor to the lightly drawn star and circle hidden beneath your feet. 

Here's the thing about being a General. You knew how to organize armies, how to train soldiers to fight, how to strategize on a battlefield. You were not a covert spy trained to track down rogue Angels. Sure, you went after Cain, but he was sloppy. Despite going to the Goetia and bargaining his soul for a bit of magic to hide him from you, he left a trail for you to follow. All you had to do was hunt down the Goetia he talked to, and, presto, you had a lead.

Eve wasn't really trying to hide. If she was, she'd have found a way to hide the potency of her power: roses, her magic smelled like roses. You could scent it miles away. The downside to chasing Eve was that she was unpredictable. Her moves didn't make any sense or have any logic to them. She was scattered with her actions. Map it out on a battlefield, and it would seem like random nonsense. There was logic to war but not to Eve. Which made it hard to capture her.

Like trying to trap lightning in a bottle.

“Tootle-loo, Mikaela,” Eve sang. The Angel skipped to the hangar doorway, stopping before she closed it. Something flashed in her eyes. Sadness? Pity? Worry? “Don’t be a stranger,” she smiled softly, and then she slammed the door shut. 

____________________________________________

(1945, Germany) 

The sirens were deafening as you rounded corner after corner, your fire illuminating the tunnels as you ran. 

“Come on, come on,” you huffed, out of breath. You’ve been sprinting through battlefields all night long to make it here before the Russian army, but you were cutting it dangerously close. 

BANG! The echoes of a gunshot had your ears ringing as you emerged into a well-lit bunker. A dead body lay at Eve’s feet, scarlet pooling beneath it. Another - a woman - sat slumped at a table in a pile of vomit. 

Gross. 

“Oh, hey!” She lit up, her brunette curls bobbing.  

You sidestepped the blood, trying to catch your breath, “Eve, this is getting old.” You were quickly finding out the Angel had a proclivity for violence - specifically guns. What was with her and modern weaponry? 

She did a double take, not of the man moaning on the ground, but of your face. You ignored her questioning look, choosing to bend over and suck down gulps of air. It wasn’t that the running took a lot out of you. By golly, you could run for days before getting tired, go weeks without food, go months without water, but broken ribs always made it hard to breathe. 

Her happy demeanor turned down a few notches as she holstered the gun. “Hey,” she put a hand on your back in comfort.

You shoved her off. 

You did not need her pity. 

Eve blinked. “Why don’t we head up top and get some fresh air?”

The Russians were expecting to arrive at any minute, they’d most likely bomb the crap out of this place and bury the two of you alive. You nodded, wincing as you stood. 

Eve led you out of a secret tunnel hidden behind boxes of supplies. You followed behind her, summoning your sword as support as you limped to the surface. Ugh, your ankle was so swollen. 

Eve pushed open a wooden door, leading you into the morning sunlight. The two of you emerged at the edge of a small lake. The sun was rising over the water, the ruins of Berlin surrounding the park.

Eve sat at the edge of the water, watching the sun rise as armies marched and chanted toward the Capitol behind you. The dichotomy was iconic. 

You looked between her and the sword and made a silent decision.

Slipping your sword back into the Void, you joined Eve in the grass - wincing as you sat.

“Germany wasn’t my doing. I just wanted to make that very clear,” she laughed awkwardly. “I’m only here because I wanted to end the bastard myself…” Her voice trailed off, the tension becoming… weird. 

You could feel her staring at your split lip and black eye. 

“Why?” You asked. 

She huffed, turning towards the sun, bathing in its morning warmth, “Because fuck heaven and fuck their design.” 

“People are dying because of you, Eve.” You gritted.

“So?” She scoffed. “People are always going to die, more will be made. Either they go to Heaven, or they go to Hell. There’s life after this, so not like I’m robbing them of anything. Besides, they’re nothing but puppets fulfilling some predetermined mapped-out plan Daddy designed. Regardless of their free will, they're powerless to fate. They're just machine parts, Mikaela. Just like you and I were designed to be.”

She huffed. “I mean, look at me. I was literally created from Adam’s rib - designed to be the perfect little wife. That’s all I am. That’s all Dad made me to be. I’m changing that!”

“By messing with Father’s design?”

She nods. 

“And you do this how?” You raised an eyebrow in confusion, choosing to humor her behavior. 

“The Book of Knowledge.” 

You laughed, “The book Lucifer stole and then gave you?” 

She nodded. 

“Why not use it to do good?”

“Because who the fuck cares if I do good? I mean, if I save a few hundred lives or help further a society what does that really accomplish? I’m only further giving in to God’s will. He wants them to succeed, to become better. It’s all a game, Mikaela, don’t you see that? I mean look at this!” She gestured to all of Berlin. “What kind of fucked up, power-hungry arsehole allows this to happen!? Just so humans can rise from the darkest moments of history, to learn and become better than they were before. All this to teach them a lesson!? I mean… Wow.” 

You shut your mouth. She had a point. This was messed up. 

The two of you sat for a long while, the orchestra of war playing in the background. 

Eve’s demeanor changes. “I saw the bruises in Russia.” Her words were sharp. 

Your blood ran cold. 

“At first, I thought they were just from training, but then why would a soldier have bruises around their throat from training?” 

Please don’t go there, Eve. Her rants about Father you could handle, not this. You didn’t deal with personal emotions, you bottled them up and shoved them deep down and quietly forgot about them - like a good soldier. 

“They talk, the guards in the prison. I’ve heard the rumors of Dad’s Golden Girl and her mysterious injuries, of the screams behind closed doors. So, in Chicago, I looked again. You had bruises on your shoulder.”

You shot her a questioning glance. 

“When you grabbed me part of your dress slipped just a bit… Mikaela, they looked like hand prints.”

You turned away from her, pulling in your knees and hugging yourself. 

“So in New Guinea, I tested my theory. Your reaction told me everything.”

Were you that easy to read?

Eve turned to you then, clearly eyeing the bruises on your face. “He beats you, doesn’t he?”

You didn’t answer. 

“I don’t know how you do it. To obey his every command for thousands of years… You, out of all of us, have a right to be pissed.”

“It’s my job,” you gritted, your hands were shaking, all emotion absent from your voice. “Besides, my failures are my own fault.”

“What?” Eve jumped to her feet. “How could you say that!? You don’t ask to be beaten. You don’t ask to have your bones broken and your face bloodied!?” 

“My failures are my own fault,” Your entire body was shaking now, your voice cracking. 

“Mikaela…” Eve planted herself on the grass next to you. Bombs exploded off in the distance, cheering echoing off the buildings. The Russians have arrived. 

“My fault.” You whispered, the words imprinted on your brain like ink on paper. “My fault. My fault. My…”

Eve brought you into a bear hug, holding you as tight as she could as the panic attack overcame you. “It. Is. Not. Your. Fault.” 

You sobbed. 

"Listen to me - no one ever deserves to be abused, and it is never your fault. Abuse is a deliberate, cruel choice made by the abuser, and it is entirely on them. You are a strong, beautiful woman deserving of respect and love. Don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise."

Eve turned you to face her. “Say it, Mikaela. It. Is. Not. Your. Fault.” Her words were sharp and to the point, trying to jam the message into your mind. To cut out the toxic and replace it with the new. 

“It is…” You choked. “It is not my fault.” You cried.

“Louder!” She demanded. 

“It is not my fault,” you repeated, your voice shaky. 

“Louder!” 

“It is not my fault!” You screamed. 

“It is not your fault!” She echoed. 

And you hugged her back. 

____________________________________________

(Present Day, The Nothing, Pride Ring, Hell)

“You turned against Heaven and joined, Eve?” Alastor asked. He’s been eerily silent the entire time. 

You smiled, your yellow irises glinting mischievously. “I joined, Eve.”

The demon summoned his own chair and settled in next to you. Together, you stared off at the silhouette of Pentagram City, its lights shining like beacons into the red sky. 

“We spent the next thirty-something years traveling. London, Korea, Russia - we went everywhere, sowing seeds of chaos in our wake. She started me on the little stuff, and I worked my way up from there. From swearing and alcohol to stealing and, eventually, murder. Eve was like a gateway drug; just once wasn’t enough to satisfy you, but it was enough to get you hooked. And, somewhere in that time, Eve became my friend.” 

You sighed, your eyes swimming in memories. “But, like any drug, at some point in time, it isn’t enough anymore. You need more to keep going, to stay satisfied…” 

____________________________________________

(1974, London)

DING! 

“Order up!” The chef behind the counter yelled. 

SLURP! You found the bottom of your milkshake. “Fuck,” you cried. “I’m out.”

The two of you, after an extremely long plane ride from America, stopped at a lunch counter for a quick snack.

The time in between master plans was always your favorite but also your most hated. It meant a time of scheming, of plotting something new and exciting, but it was also a time when Eve tended to channel her energy into other matters. Most notably sex, drugs, and music. It's like she needed an outlet for her restless energy.

You put your newspaper down, the title reading "Nixon Resigns!" and turned to Eve. The brunette wasn’t paying attention, her mind on the cute human boy sitting at the end of the counter. 

You analyzed her as she daydreamed. The itch was there again, the temptation to bring up what you’ve been keeping silent on for so long. 

Eve was fine with toying about on Earth. You didn’t blame her; she’d been locked up for so long, and all she wanted to do was live and do as she pleased, but frankly, you were growing bored. Sure fucking around with the humans was entertaining, but the fact of the matter was you accomplished nothing from it. 

Eve believed she was messing with Dad’s grand creation, but if you paid attention, Heaven found a way to fix everything she undid. After all of her meddling, things always returned to normal: war ended, economies stabilized, rulers were replaced, and laws were rewritten. Anything Eve ever did was fixed. And that was starting to bother you. 

You wanted bigger. You wanted more. You wanted permanent. And you had an idea to make it happen. 

“Eve,” you lightly tapped her hand. Dreamily, she turned to you. 

“Oh, you’re done already?” She pouted. 

“Yeah… Listen,” you cleared your throat, preparing your speech. “I want to propose a field trip. Maybe a change in scenery?” 

Eve blinked. “A change in scenery? What’s wrong with the scenery here?” She motioned to the cute British boy, her voice a little too loud for comfort. 

“Nothing! Nothing! I just…” You hesitated. You needed a hook, a reason to get Eve interested. 

The truth was, you tried broaching this topic before, but she always blew it off. Eve was content. You were not. She didn’t want a change in the status quo - you were growing bored of the status quo. 

So, this time, you were going to baby-step her into your plan - turn her opinion around. Perhaps, help her see the fun she could have by finally doing something your way for once. 

“There’s this festival I’ve always wanted to go to,” you suggest. “Lot’s of cute boys. There will be music, dancing, drinking… It’ll be a good time!” 

“A festival,” she lit up. “Sounds fun!” 

“Cool. Cool… It’s in Wrath.” 

She choked, “What!?” 

“I know, it’s in Hell, but can we just check it out? If you hate it, we can leave right away. I just… I’ve never been. I thought maybe it would be a new adventure for us?” You shrug.

Eve thinks a moment. 

“Plus, we’d be breaking so many rules. Angels aren’t allowed in Hell, after all…”

“Done.” She stands. “Let’s go!” Eve grabs your arm and pulls you out of the restaurant. 

In a side alley, you summon a portal and are whisked away into what you would look back on and consider to be the beginning of the end. 

____________________________________________

(7 years ago, Pride Ring, Hell)

"I'll be there momentarily, Al," Lilith hung up the phone as you entered the room. "Mikaela, Eve," she greeted.

You step into the office and close the door behind you. “Lilith,” you nod to her in greeting.

Your plan worked. Eve and you spent the better part of nearly fifty years partying your way through the Rings of Hell. It started in Wrath with the Harvest Moon Festival - Eve enjoyed the Pain Games far more than you expected - and resulted in a series of debauchery moving up from there.

You hadn't really spent time in Pride - you've had enough of mortals and their petty problems for a good while. However, your next plan - the ultimate plan - required you to be here.

Nearly 50 fucking years... It took you that long to convince Eve of your plan... and to make it seem like it was her idea. You had discovered that, yes, Eve was a schemer, but her plans were always limited in their size. You were thinking bigger.

This was your third meeting with Lilith and if everything went to plan, it would be your last.

The Queen of Hell stood next to the window, the view overlooking Pentagram City. She didn't want to meet at her home - understandable - which was tucked away in a pocket dimension. So, you met here, at her... office? I guess if you want to call it that, sure. It was an office in the City.

Even took a seat on the desk, her fingers rummaging through everything and anything set before her. "Awww," she grabbed a photo. "The three of you are so cute!"

You tried not to groan. "Eve..."

"Sorry," she dropped the frame, pulling her hands into her lap like a scolded child. The Second Woman turned on her charm before addressing existence's First. "Are we ready?"

Lilith continued to stare out the window, her eyes swimming with unspoken thoughts. Her horns looked rather shiny today, her purple dress perfectly pressed - she dressed for the occasion. The woman smoothed her dress, a nervous habit of hers. The Queen turned to you, her plum eyeshadow sparkling in the light. "Yes."

In a flash, you had Eve pinned to the floor, your hands wrapped around her throat.

Confusion swam in her eyes as you squeezed. "Mikaela?" She choked out.

Lilith leaned over. Making eye contact, the First Woman commanded, "Do not move. Do not fight back."

And Eve froze.

The power of Lilith's voice... It's what makes her singing abilities so powerful; it's how she convinces the masses and rules over Hell so easily.

"I'm sorry, Eve, but I can't have you holding me back any longer."

Confusion turned to fear as you channeled your fire into your hands and began to burn - Holy Fire. You've killed members of the Angelic kind before - mostly lower-level Angels prone to corruption, like the Ishim. It was easy to erase lesser beings, and surprisingly, it was easier to take down Eve than you originally thought. Especially considering she never thought you turning against her was a possibility.

Eve screamed as she died, and when her body was nearly ash, you were left with not a soul before you but the physical embodiment of power: a book. not just any book, but the book. It was ethereal and partially incorporeal as you collected it in your hands.

"Having second thoughts?" Lilith asked.

"No," you immediately responded. "No, just... I've been thinking about this for a long time. Longer than when I originally approached you and proposed the idea. Now it's finally here... It doesn't feel real."

(In hindsight, this wasn't just one of the hardest decisions you had ever made but a defining moment that had left a mark on your very being. If you were willing to kill one of the most important people in your life, what else wouldn't you do?

So, no, dear reader, you did not tell Alastor how much this killed you. You did not tell Alastor how much you cried. You did not tell him the real reason why you needed music to sleep at night was not because the screaming disturbed you but because when you fell asleep, those screams morphed into that of Eve's.

There would be a day, however, when you told the Radio Demon how much this hurt, and he would see you cry and completely fall apart. A day when you would broach this topic and eventually heal this ugly part of you.

But - as we all learned from the Full Moon episode - years of trauma does not get resolved in one conversation.

Alastor, however, could see it in your eyes. You didn't need to tell him. He may not have ever killed Vox, but there was something there, something that happened with which he could relate to what you were feeling right now as you told him your story.

And you were thankful for it, because he gave you a look which said you did not have to go there right now - he understood.)

Hesitantly, you brought the golden, glowing book to your chest and felt the power fuse with your being.

Printed text exploded across your skin as the magic accepted its new host. The energy flooding your veins, the high unlike anything ever before.

Fuck, is this how Eve felt all the time? No wonder she was always so restless with energy.

"Okay," you turned your back on Lilith and unbuttoned your shirt. You would NOT let yourself revel in how good this felt. You would NOT let yourself drown in the ecstasy of power.

Pulling ink and a quill from the void, you stood there as Lilith etched a rune across your back. When she had finished, the text across your skin was pulled towards the rune and locked beneath the seal.

You breathed deeply, feeling the weight of the power lift from your shoulders, "It worked."

It had to be contained until the time was right. You couldn't have anyone sensing what you carried. The potency of power is how you managed to track Eve down on Earth - it made her a target. Plus, you didn't know what that kind of power would do to your head - it made Eve scatterbrained and impulsive. Constantly chasing the high. You needed clarity to accomplish what you and Lilith had planned.

Power is a dangerous thing. You saw what it did to God, and no part of you ever wanted to have any similarities with that man. So, long ago, when you made the ultimate decision to take the power from Eve, you decided it needed to be locked away as well.

"This is written in Leviathan," Lilith observed. "Didn't Dad -?"

"Yes," you cut her off.

It was before the dawn of man, during Dad's experimental age. The monsters were violent and could not be controlled. He ordered you to corral them into a pocket dimension: Purgatory. You raised and led an army against them, and still, it had taken you years to subdue and capture them all. Your reward? Father pushed you in behind them and locked the door.

"Find a way out," he ordered - punishment for disappointing him. How had you disappointed him, you ask? You took too long.

"I have some... baggage to take care of before I leave." She began, noting the pile of ash on her carpet. "Your contact in Pride is no longer an option."

Fuck. You'd put considerable effort into vetting the Overlord Lilith had pointed you towards - Husk. Now, you were going to have to start over with someone else.

You'd later learn Husk fell from power, losing it in a game of cards to Alastor, of all people. The demon had become a thorn in your side long before you ran into him at the Hotel.

"Whom do you suggest?" You rebuttoned your shirt.

"Rosie, she's a wonderful woman. She'll be good to you, and I trust her."

You had no choice but to take her word for it. Question her now, on the eve of the beginning, especially when you sensed hesitation within her, might just tip her over the edge. She was leaving her husband and child behind, after all.

You held out your hand. "Shall we?"

Lilith considered your offer for a moment. Although she agreed to help you double-cross Eve, you never finalized the contract. You agreed not to, pending how killing the brunette played out, but Lilith came to play.

Your heart held no sympathy for the Queen. She was about to lose everything, but it was temporary. Lilith would be returning home to a husband and a child - to a family. You? You had no home, no family anymore. Lilith could handle a few years away.

Eventually, the demon shook your hand. The room exploded in blues and purples, marking the contract you two just made.

You smirked, "I guess it's time for my grand entrance." You made for the door. "You'll be fine?"

Lilith sighed, "If anyone knows how to handle Adam, it's me."

Right...

"Goodbye, Lilith."

She stopped you, her fingers wrapped around your arm rather tightly. "No harm comes to her." The purple in Lilith's eyes flashed.

She was talking about Charlie. Her daughter was part of the deal: no harm comes to her or her family.

"Of course..."

She let you go. "To power and chaos."

"To power and chaos," you responded as the door shut behind you.

You nearly landed on Rosie a few hours later...

____________________________________________

(Present Day, The Nothing, Pride Ring, Hell)

Alastor leaned forward in his chair, his elbow on his knees, his chin cupped in his hands. His eyes bore into you with every word of your story. The demon listened intently, paying attention to every detail, every flicker of emotion on your face. 

Was he expecting you to lie? Was he expecting deceit? You had offered up nothing but the truth - for once. You told Alastor the entire story.

“You killed Eve.”

“I did.” 

“For power?” 

“Yes.”

Alastor’s eyes finally leave yours, his gaze wandering to the City before you. 

“I know why you’re at the Hotel, Alastor.” 

That caught his attention. Surprise fills his face as he raises an eyebrow at you, ears perked at attention.

“Oh?” He purrs.

“I know about the deal with Lillith, but it’s more than that. You’re looking for Roo.*” You cross your arms in front of your chest, a sly smile worming its way into your crooked grin. Finally, you could let the demonic side of you shine - the curse of Knowledge slipping through. 

“Is that so?” He intertwines his fingers, his hands coming to rest in his lap. The Radio Demon is clearly amused with your statement - yet his radio static is nowhere to be found. 

Interesting.

“Power and chaos. Isn’t that always the story?” You stand and take a step towards him, cautious yet curious to see how he will react.

“And what would you know of Roo?” His lips curl.

There it was. There’s the Radio Demon. The power-hungry murderer. God, that look gave you chills. 

“I know that’s not her real name,” another step. 

Alastor sits up straighter.

You can’t believe he hasn’t put it together - or he has, and he’s toying with you.

“Oh?”

“Rule number one of Hell, don’t go by your God-given name.”

He waits for you to elaborate. 

“Roo’s real name…” You take another step, his eyes flicker over your form, noting the proximity. Was he anxious? You leaned forward, your hands on the armrests of his chair as you towered over him.

You stopped close enough to feel Alastor’s breath on your face, his eyes automatically dropping to your red lips. You smirked, “...was Eve.”

You feel the tattoo on your back shift as you break the rune which was sealing the magic within.

Words fly across your skin, roaming the unclothed flesh. Your sclera turned black, your hair coming undone by the power surging through every fiber of your being. Horns grew atop your head, your spiked tail unfolding from your backside. Your wings popped out, their black feathers shining in the light. The Radio Demon watched as you let the power of the Book of Knowledge, hidden deep within you, flow freely for the first time in nearly a decade.

He could feel it, he could smell it - the power so potent he could taste it on his tongue: roses, the Book forever carrying a remnant of its original owner, Eve.

You were the epitome of power - the Root of All Evil.

Roo.

After Lucifer ran off with Lilith, he returned to the Garden of Eden with a gift: the Book of Knowledge. He granted it to Eve before he left. Eve never said why he did it, but she was grateful. She would do anything to get away from Eden. Eve took the book and attempted to flee, but Father lured her back, using Adam as bait. Despite what the Second Woman claimed, part of you always believed she had feelings for the First Man...

But, before Eve was taken, she merged herself with the power from the Book so it could never be separated from her. They’d have to kill her for it.

Instead, Father had her locked up and contained. The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t, and he didn’t want to risk that power passing on to a different hand only to breed a more powerful enemy.  

Eve stewed in isolation for thousands of years before finding a way out, before she made her way back to Earth to brew chaos and destruction. 

That’s when you were sent to find her. That’s when you befriended her. That’s when you killed her and took the power from the Book for yourself.  

Alastor’s smile widens far past what you thought was possible for the demon. His eyes meet yours, his gaze exploding with fire. 

“Interesting.” From the Void, Alastor pulls a blade - Velvette's blade. He palms the handle, gripping it in greedy temptation as you, the object of all his desires, stand before him. 

You couldn’t recall when the Angelic blade had ended up in his possession, but you weren’t surprised. You knew he was going to try and kill you when he found out - he’d need Angelic steel to do that.

The demon cups your face, his thumb running across your cheek. You could see the hunger for power in his eyes, the constraint with which he fought to maintain composure. Briefly, his pupils flashed into radio dials. 

“Absolutely beautiful,” Alastor breathed, his voice absent of static. His lips found yours as he kissed you long and gently. You let yourself melt into him, memorizing his smell, his warmth, the way his lips felt against yours for one final time...

. 

.

.

.

.

(Keep scrolling)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

... and then Alastor plunged the blade deep into your belly. 

Could you imagine if I just ended the series right there? That would be HILARIOUS, right? …right? Ha, ha, don’t worry, the story goes on. 

-> Chapter Fourteen

History Guide (if you read any of this, read the red at the bottom; it's super important to understanding the fanfic):

1917, Russia - A month after Eve and Thestral's meeting in Russia, Grand Duke Michael Alexandrovich and the rest of the Romanov family were taken prisoner during the February Revolution in 1917, which ended Russia's involvement in WW1 and the Imperial reign of the Tsar. They were executed in July 1918. Yes, I am implying Eve had something to do with this. Link to Wiki

1923, Chicago - Al Capone (also known as "Scarface") was Chicago’s infamous Prohibition Era gangster. He was famous for bootlegging, illegal gambling, and violent crime. He ran one of Chicago's largest and most infamous gangs: Link to Wiki

1937 Lae, New Guinea - Amelia Earhart's - the famous American Aviation pioneer who attempted to become the first female pilot to fly around the world - last known location, before they found her plane in the sea, was Lae, New Guinea: Link to Wiki

1945, Germany - Did I just imply that Eve killed Hitler? Yes, yes, I did. Fun fact, Russia beat the USA to the Capitol of Berlin by only a few hours: Link to Wiki

1974, London - Although our protagonists (arguably antagonists at this point, am I right?) are in London and not Washington D.C., the major event of this segment is Nixon's resignation. I am implying that they had something to do with Watergate without directly stating it: Link to Wiki

*The Book of Knowledge: Okay, go back and watch Episode One, "Overture." In the beginning, when Charlie is reading the story of Heaven and Hell, there's a point where she says: "Together [Lilith and Lucifer], they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the Fruit of Knowledge to Adam's new bride, Eve, who gladly accepted." The scene shows Lucifer handing Eve a book. The idea here is that knowledge = power, and Lucifer handed over the most powerful well of magic to Eve unknowingly. Knowledge = power = literal physical power = power corrupts = Roo is born.

BOOM. The entirety of my fanfic was birthed from one scene in Hazbin Hotel! But, in actuality, I do think Eve is Roo in canon. Link to Transcript

Tagged Hoteliers (Let me know if you want to be added!):

@sirens-and-moonflowers @wonderlandangelsposts @saccharine-nectarine @mommymilkers0526 @goyablogsstuff

@eris-norwega @missgirlsstuff @alastor-the-radio-demons-blog @sillywormtrixareforkids @its-a-dam-blue-brick

@cloverresin20 @blue-bird251 @speedycoffeedelight @littlebluefishtail @saw1987

@mopeyghost @beelz3bub @fraugwinska @minamilinaqueen @demoarah

@diffidentphantom @divineknightmare @animecrazy76 @sleepykittycx @graunta

@reath-solia @satansdaughter123 @mysticatto

[moldybonessmell]

I have many thoughts about Alexei in MCU and I shall share them with you.

I see discourse if he's bad person or not (just like with other Thunderbolts as it's the point of the movie lol) and I wanted to explain how I see his character.

I feel the need to say that I've watched Thunderbolts before Black Widow and my impressions are based on that. /SPOILERS for both of course.

Firstly, he's absolutely wrong for sending Natasha and Yelena to the Red Room. Hands down. Did he think he was doing the right thing so they protect themselves? Maybe. I'm not buying it tho lol. I don't think he cared about the girls at that time. They were just his job and he did his act. He did not care any further than needed.

But he definitely realises what he did was a horrible thing and stops defending himself and tries to apologise to Natasha in the Black Widow (she didn't actually hear it, but we as viewers know he's sorry).

He's very self-centered and at first it comes off as his ego acting up because he used to be Red Guardian and felt important.

But then he was locked up in prison for 20 years. He did not live all this time. The only things he could hold on were memories of his golden days when he was important and needed. No wonder he's so self-absorbed when the girls get him out. He basically doesn't have an identity, he's a shell of a person he used to be and his glory days is everything he has left. He doesn't have anyone.

But eventually he finds out that he does have people who care about him at least a little bit and they are his adoptive daughters (or just only one left after Endgame). In the beginning of Thunderbolts he's clearly awkward with Yelena as they are not close. Rebuilding familiar relationships is not easy. They went separate ways learning how to live on their own after gaining freedom and figuring out stuff for themselves (clearly unsuccessfully). But "it was real" for Yelena and she still sees him as her father figure. After they got their shit rocked by Sentry and Yelena has a breakdown, Alexei realises this as she says that she needed him, and he understands that he needs her too.

Coming back to Alexei making a mistake of sending the girls to the Red Room, I need people to understand that he's not the same person anymore. He's in his 50's now, and what happens to people as they age is that they grow softer. It is devastating to search closure and support from someone who was the reason for your abuse and trauma growing up. But unfortunately, this is how parents are.

As someone who vividly remembers the abuse I suffered as a child, seeing the same people act completely differently towards me as they reach 60 feels surreal. It feels wrong. Because you can't get closure from someone who's a different person now. I imagine this is how Yelena felt and how difficult it was to her to come back to him and accept his kindness and ask for support now. I unfortunately, don't have a positive experience in this and don't have the forgiveness in me to move on and have a close relationship with my parents as an adult, but that's beside the point lol.

Alexei at this time, tries to take care of Yelena, and at the same time figure out who he is as a person. The way the fandom portrays Thunderbolts dynamic, people don't really pay attention to how much this found family means for Alexei too.

He had no one, nowhere to belong, then for a brief period had daughters again. Then lost Natasha, then had no one again because of grief. Then got Yelena back again and a whole bunch of other teammates. And on top of that, his place in this world as a hero.

It is made to be a comedic gimmick how he's obsessed with bringing together a team, but what it really looks like is him being lonely and desperately trying to find friends and be a part of something. To be a part of a family, and to be a part of something bigger as saving the wolrd and finding self-worth again.

All in all, Alexei is a complex character, and is not inherently bad or good. He's as lonely as the rest of Thunderbolts and goes through the same struggle of proving his worth.

[veilkeeper]

Act 3 Emmrichmance: Lich Edition

alt title: if you're really determined, "'til death do us part" is only a suggestion

okay so, after the point of no return some pretty major stuff happens in the romances. @/crossdressingdeath and i talked in DMs about how, as far as we can tell, all the romances have some sort of unfinished business going into the endgame. in the lucanismance, it's him cutting rook off from saying they love him, in the davrinmance it's a discussion about davrin's fear that one of them is going to die just as he's starting to imagine a future with them, and with emmrich it's The Argument™—which as i've discussed before, is emmrich and rook having an argument about his insecurities. in the lich path, which is what i'm specifically talking about here, the argument is about his concern that rook is going to die at some point, and his fear that he's going to mourn them forever. the argument is left unresolved after some pretty intense back and forth, where rook calls him out on pushing his insecurities and fears onto them, and they have to shelve it to head to tearstone island.

to their credit, they do try to apologize to each other. in banter on tearstone island, emmrich very clearly regrets starting an argument, but he and rook both agree that now isn't really a good time and that they'll talk when they get home.

and then rook almost dies in front of him and gets thrown into fade jail by solas.

uh oh!!!!

if this isn't the manifestation of all his fears, i don't know what is. for all intents and purposes, he has lost rook. he's sure they're alive—trapped in a prison meant to hold gods, but alive—and since he's a lich i have every confidence that there was not a moment of rest in the weeks it took to rescue rook. he's their fade expert, he's the best equipped to find them, and he has to, because otherwise the last real conversation they had was an argument he never got to apologize for, and he will have to live with that guilt for an eternity.

i really have to wonder if he ever would have been able to bring himself to stop looking for them.

and while i suspect their LI is always the first person to grab a hold of rook to pull them out of the fade, there's a special flavour to it when you're romancing emmrich. knowing that he's probably been obsessively trying to find them. the sheer relief he must have felt when he reached through the veil and was able to get his hands on them, to pull them through and back into the safety of his arms.

he fusses after them, too. urgently takes them to the necropolis so he can be extra certain that solas' hold on them is gone. he was afraid he'd lost them forever, he wasn't going to waste any time making sure they'd be as safe as they can be. and then he says,

"I will let nothing part us again, my love. Not in this nor any other world."

he says it in that level, sort of indulgent tone that he says all his romance lines in, so it's easy to mistake this as him being poetically hyperbolic. but let us never forget that this is the man with such a profound fear of death that he became a lich just to avoid it. he's not half as well-adjusted as he likes to appear.

when he says he would not let anything separate him and rook again, he is dead fucking serious.

he wakes them up at dawn despite knowing they need rest—i think, perhaps, because it isn't enough to have them breathing in front of him. that he needs to hear their voice and have the reassurance that they're here and real and alive and safe, at least right now. "I would move the world before I lost you again," he says later. before the final fight against elgar'nan, he says he has plans he wants to make with rook, that he wants to be safe and at home with them. if i had to guess, i'd say rook i going to have a hard time shaking him for anything after this. i don't think he's ever going to feel like they're safe if he can't see them. hope you like a clingy boyfriend.

it's kind of the inevitable conclusion to what i was talking about in my sacrifice of souls meta—none of his actual fears around death and dying and grieving have been addressed, and he's hitched his wagon to immortality. and now that he's almost lost rook, he's realized that there is no universe where he's ever going to survive losing them for real.

and we all know the lengths he's willing to go to stay alive.

[agentnico]

Thunderbolts* (2025) review

Wonder if someone should mention to the game developers from Hazelight and EA that this movie totally steals the prison escape scene from A Way Out...

Plot: Ensnared in a death trap, an unconventional team of antiheroes -- Yelena Belova, Bucky Barnes, Red Guardian, Ghost, Taskmaster and John Walker -- embarks on a dangerous mission that forces them to confront the darkest corners of their pasts.

There’s something truly odd about seeing Sebastian Stan’s Bucky Barnes answering questions for the press regarding Congress having just seen Stan deliver an Academy Award nominated performance as Donald Trump, and in fact some of those mannerisms were still seeping through during that scene. Nevertheless, Sebastian Stan is the only notable Avenger among this cast of antiheroes, for otherwise Thunderbolts* assembles a largely lower level of B-class actors, very much reiterating how far the Marvel Cinematic Universe has moved on from the days of Avengers: Endgame. Yet there is one common thread that connects all these characters - they are all struggling with inner demons and feeling bad about their past actions. As such, this is our very first Marvel therapy movie!

Look, I’m not saying we’re back yet, but this is a step in the right direction for the MCU. Keeping things more grounded and focusing on interesting character dynamics allows space for a movie with surprisingly mature handling of its themes that are rarely undercut with a silly joke. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still humour in this movie, however unlike other recent Marvel films that have a joke thrown in every 2 minutes for the sake of it, this one utilises comedy only when it works for the characters. Most notably its David Harbour’s excitable big dad/Santa energy that brings the most laughs. But otherwise this film really is a commentary on mental health and depression, and though it is in no way groundbreaking, it was nice to see a Marvel movie try something different against its usual formula. Even the ending of the film opts to sideline a big final boss battle and instead go the “power of friendship” route, which, even though is on-the-nose and tacky, worked well with the overall narrative the movie was going for.

The whole cast plays their parts well, however the stand outs definitely are Florence Pugh’s Yelena and Lewis Pullman’s Bob. Pugh manages to showcase so much raw emotion (whilst vocalising a delightful Russian accent) and is the real glue that brings this whole team together. As for Pullman - Bob was great. I loved Bob in Top Gun, I also loved him in Bad Times at the El Royale, where his name was not Bob, but he was Bob-like. And here he makes for a great Bob, balancing the awkward shyness of the regular Bob, with the cool unstoppable powerful superhero Sentry, to the hollow emotionless Void - he’s fantastic and I look forward to seeing him get more fleshed out in later movies. David Harbour as aforementioned was hilarious, Wyatt Russell as US Agent made for a fun a-hole, and Sebastian Stan was, not going to lie, wasted. His purpose in the movie serves sorely to connect this team to the overall overarching MCU narrative, and besides that not much else. Julia Louis-Dreyfus rounds up the case as the villainous Valentina, and she does great at playing an utter b*tch.

The movie is far from perfect though. The first 20 minutes are really dull and boring, the assembly of the team is rushed and the developing dynamic felt too convenient - one moment they’ve just met, and 2 minutes later they are besties. On the other hand though I really enjoyed Thunderbolts*, as it felt like Marvel trying something new. Was also great seeing the utilisation of practical effects more than CGI, and again the thematic of mental health and depression was handled really respectfully and powerfully. All in all - good stuff.

Overall score: 6/10

[funnyscienceman]

oh my god i keep forgetting to mention this

you know whats weird

idk if it was just me but with that first poster of vi and jinx in reversed positions and moods of that s1 poster of vi hugging powder

jinx looking possessive and vi unsettled?

i genuinely thought that meant s2 would be delving deeper into their relationship

yknow the jinx being clingy, "you replaced me with an enforcer" etc etc type stuff

i thought. well, yknow. that it would continue from where s1 left off. have vi come to terms with how much her sister has changed (since yknow all s1 was her literally just getting out of prison and trying to respond to the 50 million new things that got thrown at her, culminating in jinx throwing a mad hatter party, killing her adoptive father, and then shooting a rocket at a building because vi *checks notes* did not want to shoot a person)

(i'm exaggerating but like vi literally could not have done anything right in s1, she wasnt equipped to, jinx didnt give her the chance and the politics outside that exacerbated the situation)

but no instead we get magic jesus and avengers endgame and uh. idk, dirt under your nails or whatever

[silhouette-cosplay]

Hello travellers! I'm Sil, an avid cosplayer and professional costumer with too many Lokis and a detail obsession. I handmake most of my costumes, and I love sharing the behind the scenes of my builds! My ask box is always open for questions (seriously, I will never shut up about making stuff xD)

🔜 CURRENTLY WORKING ON: Galadriel Silver Gambeson (Rings of Power)

✔️ FINISHED!!: Loki (Ragnarok concept art by Aleksi Briclot) 🔘Upcoming: Vax'ildan (Champion look from Critical Role)

Cosplay Masterlist (for this blog, which I only started in 2017, so this isn't everything I've made!) Loki (MCU) - Briclot/Ragnarok Concept Art | wip tag - Dark World | wip tag - Original Design | wip tag - Concept Tunic | wip tag - Avengers | wip tag - Jotunheim - Jotun - Prison | wip tag - Black Suit Black Widow (MCU) - Winter Soldier - Civil War - Infinity War | wip tag - Endgame Galadriel (Tolkien) - Mirror Gown | wip tag - Silverlode Cloak | wip tag - Lindon Gown | wip tag - Ceremonial Silver Vax (Critical Role) - Legend of Vox Machina | wip tag - Champion | wip tag Astarion (Baldur's Gate 3) - Drow Armour | wip tag Eowyn (Tolkien) - Shieldmaiden | wip tag Culinwen (LOTRO OC) | wip tag Raven (RWBY) | wip tag Qui-Gon (Star Wars) | wip tag Daenerys (Game of Thrones) - Dragonstone | wip tag Rapunzel (Tangled) - Classic - Rapunzel Rider Crowley (Good Omens) | wip tag Amity Blight (The Owl House) | wip tag Arthur Pendragon (BBC Merlin)

[mrs-gauche]

I think it's interesting how on the new official cover, the characters and darkspawn are all placed within the outline of the dragon's wings, which is reminiscent of the vinyl artwork with the blighted Black City and how in this one, the heads of the elven pantheon were also "merged" with the wings of the blighted dragon!

And on top of that, as people have already pointed out, the fact that we have seven companions now, matching with the number of elven gods that were imprisoned by Solas, is a little suspicious as well. 👀

Then there's also the seven statues seen at the ritual site in the gameplay showcase and at the end of the reveal trailer. And as we know now, these statues were an essential part of the ritual itself!

And speaking of the ritual, the Game Informer article told us that Solas had planned to "move" the elven gods to a new prison, as the old one was failing. With the concept art(?) that was revealed along with the Game Informer article, we now have three different depictions of Solas' ritual...

(Btw, I will forever be sour that they got rid of the cape! 😂 Also, either Solas went from being right handed to left handed to right handed again OR the concept art image is mirrored, I guess? lol)

What stands out to me is how the concept art shows this huge rocky structure.. object (how would you describe this? 😂) right above this magical "sphere" that is obviously not there in the gameplay showcase (though note that there *are* some floating rocks seen above the statues in the reveal trailer!). And it's interesting how, in the cinematic version, it looks more like the Veil is "shattered", revealing a bright sphere in its center, where it previously showed another sphere right above the Golden City? 👀

And speaking of the Golden/Black City... we also have this sequence at the end of the reveal trailer, showing a massive battle against a horde of darkspawn(?) and a ginormous dragon (that doesn't seem to be the one on the vinyl cover?), in a location that has similar architecture as the Golden City depicted on the vinyl cover, as well as the eclipse in the background of course!

Which is so baffling to me, because I would've assumed that the Black City would be, like, some climactic moment/reveal/endgame stuff, and I doubt they would show something like this if it was in fact part of the final boss battle of the game or something, right?? 😂 Like, why would they spoil the friggin Black City in the reveal trailer? o_O (Then again, they kinda already revealed the look of the Black City on the vinyl cover, too? 😂)

Anyway. 😂 Let us go back to the cover art again, because I've seen a lot of people talk about the shape of the wings in particular!

Like, I've even seen people compare the shape of the wings here to a spider? 😂 To me, it kinda looks more like the wings could also resemble those of a corvid (as in the "rook" bird) that could just as well belong to Rook here with the way this is composed (like, the wings could belong to either Rook or the dragon)?

And in the background, behind the dragon, I can see a hint of the "tambourine"/circle image we've seen since the 2018 teaser.

And maybe it's just my eyes playing tricks on me, but I can also kinda see how the bright light in the background has a similar outline to the Veilguard symbol?

And the shape of the Veilguard symbol looks to me like a mix of a dragon/wolf and a bird's head or simply "V" for Veilguard, on top of resembling ancient statues of Mythal (reminder that Solas has "absorbed" some part of Mythal now and that the Dread Wolf in Tevinter Nights was described to be "the size of a high dragon with shaggy spiked hide")! 👀👀👀

And btw, who else is kinda going a little bit crazy over the fact that Rook's mask/helmet thingy looks an awful lot like Mythal's mask as well???

The funniest thing though, was probably seeing people compare this symbol to the Batman logo?? 😂

Which is especially hilarious to me, given that the last chapter of Tevinter Nights was entirely inspired by an old episode of the animated Batman series from 1992 (specifically, season 1 episode 35) in which Batman does pretty much the same thing as Solas in that chapter. lol There's also the "The Dread Wolf Rises"/"The Dark Knight Rises" and is it just me or has Trick Weekes made a ton of Batman references on Bluesky lately? 😂

Anyway, that's all I've got for now, what do you guys think?? :D

[elainsgirl]

I knew I wanted elain and azriel the moment he gave her truthteller. so despite all the theories and stuff, im sticking with this ship until the next book. people can call me delusional but im just going off on what I read and feel.

Hey anon 🫶

That scene was quite monumental, wasn’t it?

Azriel giving Elain his TT, a dagger he has lent to no one else. Elain choosing to accept it and its with this dagger that always strikes true, Elain stepped out of the shadows and stabbed the king ultimately saving her sister, her sisters mate and turning the tide of the war in their favour. Sweet little Elain, who would have thought?

It was one of the scenes where everything stops and you’re just focused on whats happening, really locked in. This scene made me see where Elriel was going and exactly what Mass was imagining. Especially when you now think about Hofas and the prison plot -> the TT scene is symbolic of the future Elain and Azriel will accomplish together. And I’m not even sorry to break it to the antis but no author would ever put in such a huge significant, may I add Romantically inclined scene, between two characters who aren’t endgame. By this point - she had an idea for the spin-offs AND the fact Az giving TT to Elain specifically was brought up in acofas - the bridge between the og series and new books as well as THE book that sets up the main foreshadowing for the future novelS, says a lot.

That scene should’ve been written for Az and his final Li to make it so impactful, if his Li was Gwyn - Mass would have written the scene between them. But she didn’t. Why?

🗣️ ELRIEL IS ENDGAME 🗣️

I cannot believe this fandom has gotten so misguided that people call others delusional for literally reading the books instead of jumping onto whatever is the most popular ship. You are no where near delusional for picking up the clues the author intentionally wrote. Its there for a reason and its not to fill up a word count.

[willowmansdaughter]

In the three-pronged endgame of Campaign 3, Vox Machina coming out of retirement and setting their sights on the Bloody Bridge was 100% personal and, what's more, the story 100% allowed it to be. The assault on the Malleus Key was happening that day whether Vox Machina were part of it or not, the collective armies of Exandria had amassed for the singular purpose of bringing it down, accompanied by a host of celestials and the champions of deities both prime and betrayer. What the collective armies of Exandria were not doing, however, was sparing a single thought for the one celestial imprisoned in the Key they were about to destroy. With the fate of the gods and Exandria itself at stake, they couldn't afford to. Not when they elected to leave the Key standing despite his suffering, so long as the Bloody Bridge was of strategic use to them, and not now, when it had served its purpose and been marked for destruction.

Keyleth understood this all too well. As Voice of the Tempest, she'd had to act in concert with the rest of the Exandrian leaders while the Key was allowed to stand, and she knew there wouldn't be a single able body spared, among the entirety of the Exandrian Accord, for the purpose of of even attempting to free Vax from his prison inside the Key before it was reduced to rubble—not even hers. The only thing she could do for him was raise her old adventuring party out of retirement and bring them along so they could prioritize his safety. So that's what she did, and that's why they were there. The Bloody Bridge was coming down that day with or without Vox Machina; the one thing that was only going to happen if they joined the fray was Vax being freed from its inner workings before it was reduced to rubble. They weren't Exandria's only chance, they were his. With her dying breath, Vex'ahlia made that manifestly clear: "Save him."

That the key to his release ended up being the key to shutting down the Bloody Bridge was convenient, yes, but narratively it was more than that. Vox Machina were there to save Vax. Being able to do anything at all for him, in the right here right now of their lives, was deeply meaningful for them, and the story not only gave them licence to focus on that by sending in armies to help on the battlefield, the enormity of this moment for Vox Machina was underlined, amplified, and reflected back on the whole of Exandria: As soon as the beacon was removed and the path to freeing Vax was cleared, the very moon itself was set free from its tether, and the leylines disentangled, restoring magic to the world entire. And only some time after that did Vax himself tumble out of the orb and shake out his wings, because the rule of ascending order of narrative importance was applied: First the moon was set free in the sky again, then magic was restored, and then Vax'ildan was there in front of them and Vox Machina were made whole for the first time in three decades—and then given the stage to do that thing they do, to some baddies who were asking for it, with him at long last among their number again. Bloody lovely stuff.

The Mighty Nein had nothing in the way of personal stakes that could ever hope to touch that, so the story instead asked them to save all of Exandria from a hostile alien invasion, free the people of Ruidus from the Weave Mind's centuries-long reign of tyranny, and have a good time doing it. So they did that, and they made a whole twelve-course meal of it, with a floor show (complete with ornamental fire dancers) and betting pool and, oh, what the heck, some fun math problems because why not. Have a pinch on the butt with your fireballs and trigonometry! Welcome to the Mighty Nein! The exit is through the gift shop!

Which brings us, then, to Bell's Hells, the stars of the show in this, its epic grand finale. As emotional stakes and rewards go, the Hells haring off to rescue the woman who imprisoned Vax inside the orb where he was suffering still in the moment Ludinus turned on her was, quite simply, the weakest of weak sauce. Bell's Hells are the hope of Exandria right now, but they needed Liliana Temult to be in peril in order to get their asses in gear? You cannot convince me that anyone in that party who isn't Imogen came anywhere close to caring about saving Imogen's deadbeat mother as much as Vox Machina—to a man, woman and centaur—cared about saving Vax or, in a similar vein, as much as the Mighty Nein cared about tearing through Super-Somnovafied Lucien in order to reach Molly in the final boss battle of their campaign. Robbie and Ashley did a nice enough job of acting (in their professional capacity) as though Dorian and Fearne cared about doing this for Imogen's sake, but then you had Travis and Marisha's whole face journey as Laura gave the party-without-a-cleric's chonkiest healing potion to the BBEG's second in command and counted out 61 points of healing they'll never get back.

Travis (quietly, to Marisha): Of course she might become an ally. Marisha: Bitch better.

This episode, with it's slimy tunnel rides and adorable sentient mushrooms, could have been their equivalent to the Mighty Nein's freewheelin' zipline to the Arx Creonum. They had to do (almost) everything they did in order to get to Ludinus anyway, it could have just been quirky, exciting and fun—as evidenced by the way Dorian and Braius ended up running away with the episode, even before they were one-shotting minions and force-caging megalomaniacs, with their acts of pure romantic chivalry and note-perfect romantic comedy—but it got bogged down by the sudden imposition of a ticking clock they had to beat in order to save a woman who, absent Imogen being her daughter, they would have been content enough to leave to the end her actions had wrought (a Lucien abandoning Cree to her doom moment), forcing them, in their haste, to blow through some high level spells they'll be sorely missing when they actually have to fight Ludinus or, worse, Predathos.

Caleb cast disintegrate and finished off the final four remaining Weave Mind. Laudna cast disintegrate and finished off one minion before the boss battle had even officially begun.

And going forward? Well, there's the thing. I find myself in the truly bizarre position of being unable to actively root for the supposed actual heroes of the campaign because I do not know what their ultimate goal at this point even is, let alone that I can endorse it. This is Bell's Hells' big moment—the epic, world-and-the-gods-themselves-in-the-balance finale of their three-years-in-the-telling story—and my single biggest hope for them is, not the heart-in-my-throat “You go and save your bird boy!” that it was for Vox Machina, nor the giddy “Have fun storming the castle!” that it was for the Mighty Nein, but a thoroughly guarded, “Whatever you do, just don't fuck this up for everyone else.”

I'm still hoping that Matt can deliver a twist that will galvanize and unify the party, and get my fist pumping the air, but it's hard to imagine one impressive enough to fully counter everything that's brought me to where I am with this party and this story right now.

I'll be glad at the end of the next episode to be relieved that BH didn't screw VM, the M9 and the rest of Exandria over, and not wishing they'd sat this one out. I find this utterly fascinating as an observer who likes to see what makes things tick—like I am genuinely looking forward to the post-mortems when the campaign is over, and not worried about the players being able to deliver a stellar Campaign 4 (as their turns as Vox Machina and The Mighty Nein here, along with 'Downfall', have proven that they still have it)—but disheartening, to say the least, as a lover of stories.

[rookinthecrownest]

Endgame thoughts! (Generally positive), spoilers ahead

I'm gonna be honest chat, I liked the Varric twist. When I realized it, it was like a gut punch in the best way. Am I sad one of my favourite characters in the series is dead? Absolutely. Do I think the idea behind what they wanted to accomplish was generally done well? Honestly, yeah. The fact that I suspected nothing until I replayed all the interactions with Varric in my head, and retroactively realized that NO ONE interacts with him? Fantastic. Muah. *chefs kiss*

There's nothing that would trap my character in a prison of regret faster than getting her mentor and friend killed (she encouraged Varric to talk to Solas in my playthrough). And having to deal with that regret in Fade Prison? Ouch.

That being said, Bioware could have done something absolutely incredible, as an ode to Origins (I understand why they didn't with rewrites and constrains and stuff - this isn't critique, just wishful thinking).

Bring back faction/origin specific opening sequences. We hear briefly some dialogue about how you meet Varric and the circumstances surrounding that. Sure it works to establish some kind of relationship, but the hurt of losing Varric is mostly predicated on you knowing who is and caring about him from playing the previous games.

Oh man.

If they made Varric the Duncan of this game? The mentor who comes to recruit you for a specific purpose, and you play through a faction-specific quest at the start of the game? You spend time with him on this mission, you get banter, you get attached.

And THEN you realize you got him killed?

That shit would've HURTED like a million times more.

[driderwife]

OK SO ! This is the Nere x Valence narrative I have –

JSYK I switched up the in game timeline a LOT i do that with my fanfic stuff usually.

While the rest of the party is doing the forge quest, Valence stays behind to try and solve the cave-in situation bc he doesnt wanna go down there and battle. Once he gets Nere out he has a little crush on him and decides he can use his slutty charms to keep Nere from killing the gnomes, so he like mind connects with him all flirty and they go off and valence sucks his dick or whatever lol. Then for a couple days Valence and Nere are messing around and Valence gets attached and thinks theyre in love because even tho valence sleeps around a lot, deep down he really just wants a relationship and hes looking for one anywhere. But Nere is just enjoying the sexual attention and doesnt feel for Valence in the same way at all.

Nere is not very nice to him and continues to be the shitty old drow dude that he is, and Valence accepts this as love bc Valence is used to people being kinda mean to him and he often associates cruelty with a sort of twisted affection. Valence grew up very isolated with his matron in the Underdark, so he’s basically desperate for interaction and love and touch even if it comes with meanness. He just really really desires attention and he’s willing to accept a lot of bullshit to get it.

But Nere very quickly realizes Valence isn’t really a True Soul because every time Nere tries to kill one of the gnome slaves, Valence comes in and stops him by distracting him with affection and sexual favors. So secretly Nere decides hes going to kidnap Valence, take him to Moonrise, and keep him prisoner there. Nere is incredibly nasty and shitty and wants to do his duty to the Absolute but keep getting his dick sucked and Valence is none the wiser. Valence is like “Nere said he’d be my daddy and he said he’d take care of me and give me presents and we can live together at moonrise”

When the main party and Valence’s friends come back to this nonsense, theres a big confrontation and Nere goes mask off and tries to kill everyone AND kidnap valence right then and there. So a battle ensues (which i decided the gnomes get to fight too; i think the story is better that way) and then Sabine, my partner’s githyanki Tav, cuts off Nere’s head.

Valence is very sad about that but he’s mostly upset that he fell head over heels in honeymoon phase love with a dude who was actually planning to hurt him.

BUT EVERYTHINGS OK cuz hes gonna fall in love with Kar’niss later lol thats still endgame because Valence is indeed doomed to become a drider.

[flightfoot]

What I don't get is this- how are they going to justify Adrienette endgame at this point? Like, gaslighthing someone about their abusive parent isn't just an oopsie. It's "take the kids and run" level stuff. It doesn't matter if she agrees to be better, you can't erase that. The only reason Adrien forgives at this point is "Gabriel's emotional abuse prepared Adrien to excuse Marinette". Romanic.

I think it's gonna be explained as Marinette having good intentions, but that she went about those good intentions in a terrible way, since she didn't think through what she was telling Adrien, how he'd take it. Some things she DID have a point about, like that Nathalie shouldn't go to prison because Adrien needs a mother, and that she can't fill that role. That part made sense to me, but she could've accomplished that without lying about Gabriel, either to Adrien or to the world. There's also the possibility of lying to the world about Gabriel's death if she didn't want to risk any blow-back towards Adrien for being his son, but still telling Adrien the truth.

Anyway, Marinette's still just 14 and WAY out of her depth. Doesn't make her decision here right, but it does mean that I'm not gonna judge her by the same standard as an adult. I think her learning not to make decisions for others, to let them come to their own conclusions, even if she might not like them, is enough here.

Marinette would need to actually demonstrate that she's learned her lesson on this front though, I'd hoped she'd learned from all her secret-keeping in season 4, but clearly she didn't. So she'll need to be put in a situation like this again, where she's tempted to lie or conceal something from someone she cares about "for their own good", and then to affirm that even if she thinks they'll make the "wrong" choice, that they have the right to MAKE that choice.