#and the students are getting frustrated
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stepped out of the lab i'm TAing with the excuse that i want to drink water (no drinks allowed in lab) but really it's so i can go and hide in the bathroom and calm down
#i don't think i'm panicking?#i think it's overstimulation?#i can't tell#i almost lost it (like wanted to cover my ears/leave class) during my lecture right before this lab#bc that was def overstimulating#it was an exam review so the prof would ask a question and people would talk over each other instantly and then like the answers would get#so confusing bc students would guess one thing and the answer would be another#and idk#too much noise#and i mostly calmed down#but the lab i'm TAing for is hard for the students#and i didn't super review#and the students are getting frustrated#and i'm trying my best but they're asking weird questions and getting frustrated with me#and i should've prepped more but i didn't#and i'm trying but i think this is going awfully#idk i felt like it was hard ti breathe in lecture and it's easier now but i have a stronger urge to cry now#i newd to get it together there's like another hour of this lab#maybe i'm panicking#i'm gonna spend my whole lunch break after tjis with my headphones on and not talk to people#today is too busy too much#i have another class after all this and an exam to study for#zip quips
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Fun Catholic Lord of the Rings trivia for you:
Tolkien had a devotion to St. John the Evangelist (which should not have been surprising, given his name).
Traditionally, the symbol of St. John the Evangelist is an eagle.
There's no indication it's intentional allegory, but it does add a very cool layer to those scenes.
#tolkien#catholic things#lord of the rings#i felt like i bent my 'only religious podcasts during lent' rule a bit#by listening to bishop robert barron's podcast interview holly ordway about tolkien's faith#but there was a lot of religious content so i think it counted at least as much as religion as it did literature#it did its job of *really* making me want to read dr. ordway's book#the library that i was driving to at the time *said* that book was on its shelf#but there is no sign of it#which is intensely frustrating#i'm not sure i want to approach the librarian to ask about it#because it outs me as two different types of very specific nerd#and i prefer to remain unnoticed as much as possible#the other cool trivia fact is that tolkien is kind of a spiritual grandson of st. john henry newman#newman founded the catholic oratory in birmingham#and the priest who raised tolkien after his mother's death was a student of his#and supposedly that oratory really shaped tolkien's faith#and it must have been pretty strong faith because he's one of the rare people who came through wwi with his faith intact#i could have made a separate post about that but i can't remember specific names and i don't feel like googling#so you get vague mentions in the tags instead
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what if I made a list challenge of the books on my PhD comps list
(well, I'd have to find a copy of my list first because my PhD comps were 20 years ago, that's what)
#which is actually kind of frustrating because now that i've thought of it i want to do it#it consisted of 60 renaissance works other than shakespeare 20 shakespeare plays and 20 other plays#it took forever to get my advisor's approval#ALSO. my grad student told me that they no longer lock you in a room for 6 hours for the written exam
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like sorry but if ur actually seeing an increase in students using chatgpt 2 write essays 4 ur class why is ur first thought "oh they're being lazy" & not "have i structured this class in a way that makes this student feel the need to rely on chatgpt?" especially bc the majority of college students are overwhelmed taking multiple classes working part-time jobs caring for family dealing with health issues etc etc like there are soooo many reasons a student might decide to use chatgpt that are not just "laziness"!! consider:
the student didn't have time to complete the assignment without chatgpt -> have you created an environment where students can ask for extensions without judgment? do you only give out extensions for "emergencies" or "valid reasons" (<- subjective measure)? if so, why? what purpose do these strict deadlines serve? [think about how this overlaps with students who may have "had time" but were overwhelmed for other reasons; what kind of environment have you created for these students, and does it best serve their learning?]
the student didn't feel they had the ability to write an essay of good enough quality to receive a good grade without chatgpt -> how are you grading students' work? what grading scales have you utilized that made this person feel as though they're incapable of succeeding? do those grading scales prevent them from succeeding? if so, why? what educational resources did they or did they not have access to before entering your class? how might that change considerations about how you grade? [think about how this overlaps with students completing coursework that is not in their first language and whether your grading standards are truly equitable for these students]
the student didn't feel that they could understand the material and therefore couldn't complete the assignment -> again, have you created an environment where this student can come to you for help? how are you presenting and explaining material? what opportunities have you provided for students to seek out additional resources and support with understanding? is this assignment and its correlated grading scale designed to accommodate a variety of skill levels, or is it designed with "the best student" in mind?
the student actually just doesn't care about this class and doesn't want to do the work -> why don't they care about this class? what other classes or work are they prioritizing, and why? to what extent are you willing to accommodate students who simply will never view your class as a priority, but need to complete it to earn a degree--and how is that need tied structurally to a university that serves primarily as a class barrier? what role do you play in that university structure, and is it a role you want to play?
at the end of the day if your goal is 2 prioritize student learning that means being flexible & adapting your grading scales, assignment structures, class policies, etc. to accommodate students at their level of learning for their own purposes. like if the choice is between having a student get a zero on an assignment for "cheating" versus working with that student to create an alternative assignment which they can complete & which engages them with the course material on a level they can manage then to me it seems like a pretty clear choice between "no learning" and "some learning."
#sooooo much hand-wringing in my 'leftist' university dept. rn abt ai & i'm just like um. u guys will never believe what i think abt this lol#unfortunately not in a position where i can actually outright say this 2 the profs bc i need 2 be viewed as 'playing by the rules!'#but like. sorry if i'm ur ta & ur syllabus policies kinda suck then i am going 2 make my own policies under the table....#anyway. it is genuinely so frustrating how students who 'get caught cheating' for 'using ai' are treated as like. these scheming villains#instead of students who need additional support + empathy !!! & like. worst case scenario ok ur student IS an evil schemer sure#well wouldn't u rather have a policy that accidentally gives grace 2 a student who doesn't need it than denies it to a student who does???#ranting and raving#txt
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SPN season 16 except Sam goes back to school and get shell shocked by the change in atmosphere and vibes
#signed a girl who is going back to earn another degree#no one knows where the library is and everything is done online now#dont even get me STARTED on acting like a hacker to bypass duo verification to access my own fucking canvas account#is this niche this might be niche#OH ALSO Im the only student in my classes who actually reads the prompts and doesnt use AI#and apparently there are fake accounts that take up enrollment so I dont even know if the student Im talking to on discussion posts is real#i graduated in 2023 WHAT HAPPENED IN THE COURSE OF ONE YEAR#Sam would be just as equally confused and frustrated and venting constantly and Dean would just be like :/ damn#supernatural#spn#spn shitposts#sam winchester
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i think undergrads were created to torment me specifically by sending extremely delayed emails about things i have made repeated announcements about with explicit deadlines for contact me
#this student has a legitimate excuse for missing the midterm#but also i have so many students who need makeup midterms that i cannot keep track of an offhand mention weeks before#on an email thread that was discussing something else#so when i have sent multiple announcements saying that makeup requests need to be in by a certain date#it's very frustrating to get an email a week and a half later (after the makeup window has closed) asking to make it up#like i'm sorry you had to miss it for a family event and i would have gladly worked with you on that#but you've made it a lot harder by not actually emailing me with time to work it out#i think this kid will just need to have their final exam weighted more heavily to make up for the midterm#not ideal but it's whatever#poast.txt
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When I was in high school I had this teacher for two years who taught us geography and history and when grading essays sometimes she would underly a specific statement like three times very angrily and write "Nein!!!!" in the margin next to it. Like, not even a correction or explanation as to why that conclusion was wrong, just "no" with four exclamation marks. And other times she would just bar an entire page of text and add THEMA!! (signaling that the whole page was off-topic), just one giant red slash across our hard work...
Anyway sometimes nowadays I see reblogs on posts that have absolutely nothing to do with the post, hate posts based on outrageous ideas that are easily verifiably incorrect, the most frustrating takes you could possibly imagine, additions that misunderstand the og post completely and posts that look like someone skimmed through a book held upside down in a barely lit room and wrote a post about what they think the book is about and all of this in the character tags and I'm like you know what? I get it now. It's fine, and I'm not entitled to a fandom experience free of frustration and we all gotta do our breathing exercises about it but yeah, sometimes I sure would like to draw a giant red slash over that whole text post and write NEIN with four explanation marks. That would be good for my health I think.
#glitter gossip#yk i get it now#perhaps i judged her too harshly#fandom discourse#do we think for a history nerd reading student essays feels like reading frustrating additions to the same posts again and again?#hmm
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idk how this would work in the OIAR bc i just feel like they wouldn’t let anyone from outside look at their files, but i think it would be really funny to have like. a college age researcher show up to the og magnus institute or the OIAR who’s like studying the paranormal or folklore or some shit (cue guy with an actual degree in parapsychology which makes martin shit himself when he tries to start conversation HELPP) who’s just like oh hi guys this is my honors project! :) can i look at some spooky stories? 🤗 and the OIAR/MI staff are like NO. DO NOT LOOK INTO THIS ANY FURTHER RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. but i feel like elias would 100% require that they help this person out, bc he’s evil and he’d want a fear to eat them, and like… it’s just funny to imagine like. the staff trying to keep the true nature of the institute/OIAR away from this totally clueless 22/25 year old and feeding them the silliest statements possible that don’t connect at all to throw them off track so this poor kid is confused and hopefully gives up. but also kinda bittersweet imagining them all coming together to protect a stranger from falling into a world they can no longer escape… the old “it’s too late for me but it’s not too late for you” makes my heart hurt
#they interact w kids in the show and old ppl but they never rly interact w teenagers or actually college students#and i feel like i TOTALLY know people who would ask the institute to see their files like. as an undergrad honors thesis#or a phd defense or something#and like. seeing the research get stymied and the poor kid get frustrated would be kind of sad bc i while researching some niche topics#the institute would be like a treasure trove#and info on contemporary supernatural beliefs is kind of hard to find#but like the tma cast especially—who treated each other terribly—having to band together for the common goal of driving the intern out#what if it was a bonding experience. what if they came together about it#but someone curious enough to seek out the magnus institute is already a little doomed#so how could they prevent that person from finding anything real?#the feeling of hopelessness in tma is so pervasive bc the staff can’t escape. but what if someone else could…#the magnus archives#the magnus protocol#tmagp#tma podcast#the magnus institute#story ideas
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I cannot express the anger I experience being unable to do anything about anything while Christians salivate over the idea of the Israel-Hamas conflict being a sign of the Rapture
#anyways Free Palestine#Hamas attacked innocent people#The Israeli government is terrorizing innocent civilians that just want the right to live#Jewish people deserve to have land where they are safe to go to if there is another rise in antisemitic attacks in their current home#Palestinians deserve to have their homeland respected and safe for them to live on#All of these statements can be true at the same time#and I say all of this from the safe comfort of the US#I am not the one that you should listen to about the situation.#I am not the one who you should trust to give correct information about what is going on because I get the same information you do#We should be listening to Palestinians and the Israeli civilians affected#And unfortunately the news in the US is based on Christians who want nothing more than to escalate this#They do not want to recognize Palestinians unless it brings about a world war that triggers the Rapture#And I am enraged by it#I know people currently living in Israel#I know students from Palestine#And I am infuriated by christians treating them like pawns in their little Jesus War#These are people. These are fucking people#They are friends and family and lovers and so much more#I genuinely cannot express just how frustrated I am by my inability to do anything as I sit in safety#If you get nothing else from this post please listen to Palestinians and the war crimes they've experienced for decades now#If you get nothing else please listen to Israeli civilians begging for their government to stop escalating this conflict#Please listen to Jewish people and Muslims when they say shit like this increases violence against them around the world#Anyways I'm at the doctor and someone had CNN on and I'm tired#antisemitism tw#islamophobia tw#israel-hamas war tw#rapture tw
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How do I explain to professors that two weeks ago I thought I was going to be dead or dropped out of the university without sounding like I’m asking for pity or special treatment because to be honest I don’t give a fuck if I fail this semester I just need them to understand that, trust me, I don’t feel *good* about being a shit student but I almost got institutionalized last week 😭 get me out of here bro

#thus spoke randy#sorry to vent on tumblr but i’m just so frustrated with like everything lmao#i’m fine but like jesussssssss christ#and the worst part is is they wouldn’t care#like genuinely#i’ve said my piece to some of them and it’s just like whatever#i get it from their perspective every other college student is having a personal crisis#but that doesn’t mean i can’t be frustrated by apathy#at least a little#anyway
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how to phrase "you missed seven classes which is 25% of the course and that's why you didn't get an A in the class even though your written work was good" in a way that won't come back to bite me in the ass
#it's in the syllabus that they get three absences without penalty or question but after that it starts impacting their grade#but i feel like he's going to hit me back with 'well then why didn't you warn me when i was at three?'#i don't know man! maybe because you should have retained the information in the syllabus and also not missed 7 classes#i feel bad because it does seem like this kid struggles with medical issues#but he needed to have absences related to that cleared by his dean's office—also mentioned in the syllabus#most of my students are not humanities majors so their classes are mostly lecture-based and not discussion-based#and in those huge lecture courses absences probably don't count as much#but how would it be fair to my students who did show up almost every class and participated#but maybe were not such great writers#if they got B+s or Bs in the class but a kid who missed seven classes gets an A?#especially when it's in! the! syllabus!#i just know he'll be frustrated that he wasn't 'told' or 'warned'#and i don't know how to make myself feel not guilty about that even though it's his responsibility to know the course policies#grad posting
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not even half joking this time, i'm going to stop updating revenge if you people don't learn how to appreciate your fic writers properly.
#do you know how frustrating it is to get comments asking for an update? i updated A WEEK ago.#and i am a full time student. and i work a part time job. and i have life stress that takes up even more of my time.#if you're going to put the effort in to comment tell me what you liked. because fuck dude im feeling like a commodity here with all#these 'please update' comments.#thea talks
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*looks at my schedule for the next three weeks* oh motherfucker
#30 hours all together. collectively. 10 each week. come on man#i still haven't figured out how to get stupid expensive schooling cost covered#student loan? the specific one i applied at is technically not a post secondary school so it doesnt qualify#apprentinceship scholarship? its a foundation course which doesnt qualify#ask my bank? point 1 applies. also i dont have enough income for the terrible option for a normal loan#the school requires money Before school starts. how the fuck do your adult students shell out that much money from their own pockets#why is the tuition more than i make in a year! this is canada! its a trades program!#i just want to get any method to escape minimum wage part time poverty hell! why is it so hard!#i dont want to have to drop out before the school year even fucking starts#because it's impossible for my poverty ridden ass to get financial aid for school!#ramblings#sorry tags got long. i'm frustrated. i keep hitting roadblocks even though THE SCHOOL HAS ACCEPTED ME INTO THE PROGRAM
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okay i fucking hate tiktok teachers that complain about the kids in their class not knowing stuff.
like if you’re complaining about middle school kids not being able to pronounce and spell ITALIAN DERIVED music terminology you have absolutely lost the plot. they’re middle schoolers. they’re there to learn. if you go on to tiktok and complain about how little jimmy couldn’t spell ‘glissando’ or ‘semiquaver’ on the test you gave the class, you are ruining any love that kid may have for music by calling him too dumb for music. just stop.
like seriously, they’re out there complaining about kids these days don’t know what 9/11 was or who edward snowden was and what he did (no that’s eward cullen from twilight you’re thinking of, this is a real person) like the class of kids that graduated this year were BORN IN 2005. THEY WERE 8 WHEN THE SNOWDEN LEAKES HAPPENED. at this point, you’re just mad that you’re old. “oh but they don’t know who hitler was” well i don’t know about you but i wasn’t taught about world war 2 UNTIL THE 10TH GRADE.
like at this point you’re literally assuming that all kids are born with all knowledge conveniently downloaded into their head, or you’re assuming that the kids are failing at some secret school they’re supposed to go to before they come to real school.
how can you, a grown adult human person, look at a kid dead in the eye and say she’s stupid for not knowing about things they haven’t learned about in school yet? how are you assuming that the average kid born after 2005 know about edward snowden or the 2008 stock market crash?
and what do you expect will happen when you go on tiktok and complain about this stuff? will they kid magically learn everything? or will they never ask questions out of the fear of being shamed and end up worse off?
#like i get they don’t get paid enough#but to blame the kids for asking their teacher about something they don’t know about is insidious#teachers like that really need to take a hard look at themselves and try to understand why they feel the way they do#you don’t get to be frustrated with a student of yours hasn’t heard of something you just mentioned#tiktok teachers#teachers#gen alpha#gen z#students#school#rant#196#long
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Why is everything about starting grad school so vague
#like how is there not timelines for rotations#why was it not clear that we'd be registering for classes during orientation#why do I have to email HR to get tje correct trainings#how many times have you done this because this is my first#I knew grad school would be frustrating but I didnt expect it to start before school did#gradblr#grad school#phdblr#phd#phd student
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ok so in the show i’m crewing right now with the theater i work for, one of our out-of-company actors that was hired is an ambulatory wheelchair user and she’s incredible and the theater and management have made it this whole production to try an accommodate her needs through the process. Which is wonderful!
But on the part of the the theater it comes of as so disingenuous to me (especially with the way they’ve been publicizing it on social media), knowing that i spent last semester crying after every rehearsal due to the way my disability was treated and i was considering quitting theater altogether. and even going into this production the way i’ve been treated has been subpar. and it makes me so angry but i can’t talk to anyone i know about it because i dont want them to think im bashing the actor when im really just pissed at theater management.
#i think part of the problem is i’m a university fed hire#while the actor was hired out of company as freelance#and so for me it’s just another nail in the coffin about the way this theater treats their student workers#but like i was hired for two positions in this show. and i was (not gracefully) fired from one of the positions#so i could ‘focus on my other position’ and not strain my disability too much#obviously this was decided without any input from me#the stage manager who was making me cry last semester and spreading very personal information about my disability#was out of company hired as well and she is not invited back for many reasons#but when i made my complaint about the way she was treating my disability i got a ‘we’ll talk about it tomorrow and im sorry that’s happen’#only for it to never be discussed until the following semester after the show had ended#and i received a ‘we’re going to try and do better than the last show where details of your vulnerable medical episodes were shared without#your consent’#i love this actress and disability solidarity all the way#but i’m frustrated with the fact that she’s getting accommodations i could never dream of getting#while i’m still being told that my disability is too inconvenient for some jobs#we’re the only two mobility aid users to work for this theater and i’m baffled by the different reception between the two of us#i’m just so. tired. of being treated like a liability#and watching someone else be treated great by people who’ve stomped on me makes me want to never work in theater ever again
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