#and the stuff coming out of the lgbt community towards black women and girls has gotten real nasty

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Me watching the LGBT community who almost never rarely gives black women and girls, asexuals, or aromantics genuine respect, pretend we’re all friends and have always treated us right the minute it’s June 1st and want to use black women(mainly darkskinned) and girls as their little poster girl:

[chocopvffz]

My Problems with Fandom

It’s been a while since I’ve kinda just let out my thoughts and feelings on this stale hell site. It’s just now more than ever I’m having the weirdest realizations while I’m participating in any Fanbase. This topic may piss ppl off. But to that, I say fuck it, I’m gonna do it.

Around 2 years ago I took a backseat to actively participating in fandom. So I’d be more of an onlooker rather than someone who contributed. Just reblogging stuff rather than making my own content. Usually in fandom, things are said in the heat of the moment, with little thought and more emotions. Taking a step back I started to realize that while that’s fine in and of itself, You’re entitled to what you like and what’s interesting to you, but I’ve realized that people kinda settle for the bare minimum. Especially now that representation for marginalized groups is becoming the norm. Which is great, but there are still problems that plague us as a community.

I just finished watching Unicorn of War’s video on RWBY, and they delved into the absolutely garbage writing that surrounded The White Fang subplot. I highly recommend you watch the video, it’s about the bad representation of minority oppression and how it relates to RWBY as a whole. While this post doesn’t stem from that in particular. what did was though is how UoW confessed that they were guilty of completely ignoring how harmful the writing was for pocs, as well as downright silencing and downplaying poc that had a problem with the writing. Unicorn of War is not racist, the fact that they realized the type of systemic racism they’ve been inadvertently spreading is so harmful is a a step in the right direction. Here is where the problem lies. UoW said that they were a perpetrator of this because they were to focused on the representation the show did give the fans. They said that they lumped all of the genuine criticism of the problems with homophobes and bigots because they didn’t want to hear any of the criticism at all. RWBY has some pretty shit representation in ever field. UoW said that they were settling for the stuff they did get because they get so little, and their whiteness blinded them to listening and trying to understand why so man poc had an issue with the show.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that, a lot of the time In Fandom, ppl would rather settle for what they do have and what caters to them, rather than criticize a product of its faults and ask for more.

I’ve been scared to talk about She-Ra because the fandom is pretty scary. I liked the show. To me it wasn’t anything special. But it was a fine show, and I can’t wait for what the crew does next. But here’s where a lot of the issues come from for me. There are some problems both w/ the show, and the representation. Catra and Adora have been queercoded up until the very end where it does get revealed that they are in fact lesbians. Which is great and all but at the end of the day. They kiss at the very end of the last episode, nothing was explicit before then. But the thing is that Catra is an abusive manipulative person, that kinda just gets a pat on the back, and all is forgiven when she realizes she’s alone(both in the fandom and the show). I mean glimmer got more hate than Catra. The point I’m trying to make is that I’ve seen way to many ppl ignore the fact that they side stepped the development of Catra and Adora, and kinda get mad at the ppl that criticize that we could have gotten better rep. For a lot of the fans, at least from what I’ve seen, yall are okay with the problems the show has as long as you get some form of rep. Which is valid, but when that complacency spills over into silencing ppl with criticisms. This usually happens when someone has had another experience with the show where the thing that represents them isnt done as well. it rubs me the wrong way. Someone could see Catra’s behavior, liken her to a toxic person they knew, criticize how the show kinda ignores that. I can bet that some ppl would tell this person that they’re wrong, because she ended up where she did at the end.

This brings me to my last example, during my watch of Infinity Train, I started getting a little bit more involved in the fandom; reblogging, commenting. During the show I noticed a small amount (larger than I would have liked) making passive aggressive remarks toward Grace (the only black girl and protagonist of the season). They were all in regard to her having a redmeption arc. At first I was kinda in denial. Like most ppl are immediately after suffering an injustice, cuz despite her being an awful person at first. She gets better. And there are so little black women that are protagonists. I felt represented. But then I’d see ppl demeaning her in order to make her friend Simon (basically the antagonist) more sympathetic. Mind you he’s white. And after the show ended I had a weird encounter. There were many posts about how enthralling it was that Grace, a black women, telling Simon, a white man, that his problems were his own, and she doesn’t have to be the one to fix them. Most of the ppl that made these posts were woc. The show isn’t about race, but the fact that the character is black resonated with a lot of ppl.

Under ever single one of these posts, I saw multiple people, getting weirdly angry at them. Like “this has nothing to do with race, why are you bringing it up here.” Which I guess is fair, but no one says it as much to ppl when the post is about sexuality. So getting fed up, I responded to one of these ppl explaining how odd it is that the characters that get really popular are always of the same archetype. White Sad Boys, it’s the same with ships. Instead of critiquing the show or anything I wanted to call attention to subconscious biases in fandom. The person accuses me of calling them racist, tells me that race isn’t an issue in fandom, and tried to gaslight me into thinking that what I was talking about doesnt apply to how ppl choose who their favorite character is.

This issue here isn’t about the race, or the actual content in the show. It was about the person telling me that the empowerment I and other woc experienced while watching infinity train s3, doesn’t exist and we shouldn’t criticize ppl putting her down in order to uplift the antagonist.

Which leads back to the point I’m trying to make. So many ppl in fandom settle for whats there instead of trying to make things more representative of everyone. Representation can always get better, we just have to stop fighting ppl that give constructive criticism to the things we like.

And I’m completely guilty of this too, that’s why I took a step back. I don’t like silencing ppl when they try to criticize something that resonates with me. So I try to sit back and let them tell me what can be done better based on their experiences. I’m still struggling. I’m pretty sure I was ultra defensive with the person telling me that race doesn’t matter.

This happens a lot more with white ppl than it does with people of color. And this isn’t a dig on any white person at all. It’s just that white have a vastly different experience than a poc. A white LGBT person is going to have a completely different experience than a black lgbt person. Just like a cishet white person is going to have from a poc cishet person. And since we have different experiences, there are aspects of my life you won’t understand and vice versa. An abuse survivor is going to be more equip to tell us what works better than other things in a story that tackles those subjects. You see what I mean.

I just want everyone to take a step back and consider the criticism that is being made. And try to understand why this person may see it that way.

TLDR; We need to stop silencing marginalized ppl just because they criticize things we relate to, especially when it pertains to their experiences. It’s settling for the bare minimum when we deserve better. Just because we’ve got a gay character doesnt mean the show is perfect. It happens way more than we think. Especially now more than ever.

Sorry this is so long, and full of typos. I just needed to rant.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Half of Britain’s young people do not think of themselves as ‘100 per cent heterosexual’, a YouGov survey revealed this week.

Yet there remains a common lack of understanding about bisexual people, with some Britons still unfairly viewing them as the ‘black sheep’ of the LGBT community.

One factor may be the wide and confusing variety of different terms people now adopt – including ‘pansexual’, ‘fluid’ and ‘homosexible’.

But for many young people, sexuality no longer needs to fit into one of two or three definitions. Speaking to The Independent, six openly bisexual young people discuss their sexuality – and address the myths surrounding it.

I’d say I’m actually more pansexual, which means I can be attracted to all genders – if I like someone, it doesn’t matter if they’re trans, male-female, fluid or anything else. It just means I don’t judge anyone by their sexuality or gender, but I think that’s even harder for people to understand.

I was confident my close circle of friends would be supportive when I came out, but I wasn’t sure about my parents. I thought they’d just think I was confused, so it took me a while to admit it to them – and when I did, they thought I was joking.

Some people still can’t believe that I have a girlfriend, and they assume that I am a lesbian. Others say, “Oh, you’re just a bit greedy” when I try and explain it to them, but I’m not at all, I’m just open-minded. I do still wonder to myself about my sexuality and whether or not I’ve ‘gone off’ boys but I am just as much in love with Brad Pitt as I am with Angelina Jolie.

My sexuality doesn’t define me but it is certainly a part of who I am and I strongly think it should be talked about more in schools. There are people much younger than me trying to figure out what they are and what they want and it needs to be said aloud that all variations of sexuality are OK.

I did receive a bit of hostility when I split up with my ex-girlfriend. Some of the people who had been friendly with us and accepted me being with a woman couldn’t understand it when I started going out with a man. All of a sudden they were quite cold and it was almost like I wasn’t in the club anymore because I wasn’t lesbian or gay.

Sexuality is a broad spectrum. I don’t think it’s as simple as gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual – we’re complicated.

I know people struggle and get prejudice but I’d tell young people coming out as bi just to smile and let it go. They’ll hear the “it’s just a phase” thing but I’d just say: “You know what, maybe it is, but I’ll figure it out”. Life’s too short and love is just love, it doesn’t matter what that means.

Simone Webb, 22

Recent graduate, from Loughton, Essex

I realised I was bisexual at around 14 or 15. I was ‘out’ online a little bit before that, but it was a gradual thing rather than a lightning flash. I was worried about coming out because it felt awkward to bring up out of the blue. It didn’t feel like a big deal so raising it almost felt like making an issue out of it, but everyone was really accepting.

When I came out to my friends there was no one who was actively bi-phobic, but some people asked how I could know if I hadn’t had sexual experiences with both men and women. They’d say stuff quite loudly across the room and I found out people had been talking about it behind my back, but I had a relatively easy time compared to a lot of LGBT people.

I can’t remember the last time I saw a character on TV that was bisexual; you get characters that reject labels but very few who have the label of bisexual. There are very high-profile people who have come out as bisexual but bi-women especially get overlooked. Anna Faris is an actress who is openly bisexual but it isn’t really talked about, Angelina Jolie as well. These are high-profile people but if bi-women are married to or in a relationship with a man their bisexuality is erased.

I don’t think my bisexuality has affected my relationship hugely. I’m surprised the number of young people who identify as not 100% heterosexual is so high but I’m not surprised that more people are moving away from the idea of being attracted solely to one gender.

Liam [surname witheld]

Student in Canterbury, Kent

About two years ago I came out as bisexual; I’d just moved to university and being in a different environment I felt I could branch out and find out a bit more about myself.

I still haven’t come out to my family, but my friends have been overwhelmingly supportive.

I’ve had people say that I’m straight and looking for attention – it’s mostly gay people who say that – and that I’m gay and scared of coming out, which is mostly from straight people in my experience. It makes it hard to feel I belong anywhere.

People also tell me I’m greedy – that’s probably the most common one. I think it’s a problem with society as a whole in that when people deviate away from the “norm” it’s seen as weird. People just assume things because they don’t understand. I generally think people are becoming more open-minded towards sexuality though. I’ve got friends who I know for a fact if I’d spoken to them five or six years ago they’d have thought I was lying but now they accept that bisexuality exists.

If you spend 20 years as a straight person and everyone around you knows you as that, it’s hard to change that perception. I know that it would have been more difficult for me if I’d stayed in my home town and hadn’t had that chance to start somewhere afresh.

I haven’t had a boyfriend but I’ve had plenty of girlfriends and sexual encounters with both sexes. The only real relationships I’ve had have been with other bisexuals, which I count as quite lucky. Some prospective partners have been against the idea of bisexuality just because they see it as greediness. They worry that I’ll cheat because I’ve got a larger pool of resources, as it were. It’s not the case though. It’s prejudice and comes from an irrational place.

Women in particular get a bit of judgement in the gay community – it’s more often seen as just a phase. I’m quite lucky I haven’t had too many negative comments, but then I’ve surrounded myself with the right people.

It makes sense that the vast majority of people would not say that they are hetero-normative because I think people are now more able to label themselves how they please. It’s not as simple as “gay” and “straight”; there’s pansexual or a-sexual, and so many other ways to describe yourself. The internet makes it easier for people to learn about it and understand their sexuality better at a younger age.

Georgie Robbins, 25

Music journalist, from Somerset

I know I’ve been exceptionally lucky in the experience of my bisexuality – I haven’t faced any real prejudice at all. My parents were amazingly accepting and told me the only thing that mattered to them was that I was happy.

The only resistance I’ve ever had is convincing others that just because I may happen to be with a girl at one time, that’s not to say I only like girls. I get the impression that some people feel that bisexual relationships are somehow less serious than heterosexual ones because the gender of the person I’m in a relationship with might change.

I have wanted to explore my sexuality more but sometimes I feel like others don’t accept a fluid sexuality. People assume things and put me in a box.

I’m not surprised about the number of young people who identify as not 100 per cent straight. I think it stems from people coming to terms with ideas around mono-sexuality. Everyone is assumed mono-sexual based on how they act but sexuality isn’t like that.

I think attitudes are changing because people are talking about it more freely. What interests me is that not a lot of people use “bisexuality” as a term, they use labels like “fluid” or “queer”.

I think bisexuality as a label carries a lot of distrust because of stereotypes that come with it; there is this idea of it not being real. I think people are saying they don’t want a label because they may not feel ‘bi-sexual enough’ and because of the negative stereotypes.

[vampyvirtues]

Brendon urie and why I dont support him!

⚠️TW⚠️N-WORD, T-SLUR, WLW FETISHIZATION, SEXISM, AND R/PE JOKES

A lot of people have been asking why brendon urie was on my DNI side of my post, and because its hard and often taxing to keep on sending the same stuff to people I decided to make a masterpost!

Brendon Urie has gotten away with making racist and sexist jokes. Although he states to support the LGBT community and has donated to LGBT groups, he fetishes bi women and wlw women in general! In this masterpost I will be showcasing what he has done over the years and why he doesn't deserve your support!

◇Racism◇

Brendon Urie, like I said has gotten away with saying racist remarks!

Saying the N-word

Claiming he "wishes he was born black"

"Rachet ass Puerto Rican names"

Brendon Urie has probably done even more racist acts that was unfortunately either buried in the internet or not recorded when said.

◇Sexism/R/pe jokes◇

At many MANY concerts Brendon has made many "Jokes"(hint hint r/pe isn't a joke) targeted to women in his audience. Whether he is a r/pist or not is not the point here. The point is hes making these jokes towards women (Many of which who are minors, because that is his audience) when they shouldn't be made in the first place.

"If I see you at my show I'm gonna fuck you"

"I'm just gonna fuck you in my dreams"

Although the list of video proof is short, it is very clear that he is comfortable with talking about sexually assaulting his (minor filled)audience and as far as I know, have seen no apology for it.

◇Transphobia◇

I have heard things of him apologizing for saying the T-slur but he never explained as to why it was wrong and use the call out and apology to educate others on why saying the t-slur and transphobic remarks is bad.

Quoting the t-slur in an interview

While this /is/ a quote I cannot stress this enough, he could've simply said "T-slurs" and it would've been fine.

There is more proof of his transphobia everywhere but I can't seem to find it this late, I will relog with an update if I find any.

◇Fetishization of wlw◇

One good example of his fetishizing of wlw is his popular "Bi-anthem", 'Girls/Girls/Boys'

While at first glance it just seems like a pride song for bi/pan women, but let's dig a little deeper.

The song was about him having a threesome. Wlw constantly are assumed that just because they like both, they'll have a threesome but that is simply not the case.

◇Conclusion◇

Thats all I've got personally! But there is this post on Instagram that can explain it to you further.

Do not harass me about this.

This is my way of helping educate people who don't entirely know about what brendon has done. I really idolized Brendon when I was younger but have come to realize that he's not as good of a person as people idolize him to be. I just want other people to find that out as well. You can still like p!atd and not like brendon urie, as most of the music was made by someone else anyways.

Lots of love and happy listening,

Jay♡

[bodtabs]

reposting and pinning this

being a straight black trans guy is really weird. there’s so many intersections of experience, and not in the dumb “technically i can reclaim this axis of oppression” level of terminally logged in lgbt person i mean it in a “going about my life” way.

for starters, idt i ever “hated” being a woman, i don’t really relate to that trans narrative, i just realized it was an identity that became increasingly frustrating to align with and moved on to a label that finally fit me. being a black girl was cool, despite all the social toll that came with it, black girls have contributed so much to popular culture and even to our own communities, so there was no real reason for me to dislike it other than “it just doesn’t feel like me anymore” and i like it that way. i have a very comfortable relationship with both black girlhood and black manhood, if anyone asks i’d probably fall under that “i remember being convinced i was a little boy. not knowing why my parents didn’t see it too and insisted on treating me like a little girl.” narrative that seems to be the narrative a lot of "trans stories that won’t make cis people uncomfortably avert their gaze” media. i had (and still do have) genuine interests in a lot of traditionally masculine aesthetics, music, career paths, and hobbies, but i don’t recall ever feeling disgusted, embarrassed, or insecure parts of my life where i was identifying as / being coerced into woman aligned individuality, and the strained relationship i had with my mother because of these things, like a lot of trans guys (understandably) seem to be with theirs. this proves for disconnect occasionally, between who i want to be and who i actually am, but the more time goes by the less i give a shit about who thinks what. i don’t take shit from anyone as a guy because i didn’t do it as a chick, which leads for a lot of leeway in being comfortable with who i was and who i currently am.

i still have a lot of pleasant associations with being a gay woman, i probably wouldn’t be where i am today without a lot of the gnc lesbians and trans bi women, i still feel a sense of community with that identity (never to the point of being invasive, i hope.) i’m never not going to get sentimental about a woman being happy with another woman, comfortable in their own skin; that’s just how my brain is default-wired at this point. i’m not offended by women (cishet or otherwise) not wanting me in their spaces (it’s honestly more validating than being seen as a defanged token feminist boy who will bring no harm or whatever, i much prefer people hearing about me or holding a conversation with me and deciding what direction they want to take with me based on those things, like you would any other human being) but it’s still cool to know that i can have these feelings– still be deeply involved and still have feelings for this culture i’ve ingrained in myself from a young age– and not feel like an intruder or outsider, despite being a straight dude, i’m always going to have a pretty firm grasp of gay culture and won’t get freaked out by people putting the sex back in homosexual like a lot of cishets and even a lot of gnc tenderkweers tend to get every 3 months. it’s honestly been the side of gay culture that i’ve always preferred lol.

i call a lot of bullshit on this ��toxic masculinity intricate rituals” stuff that’s come into public conscious in the last couple of years or so as well, not only was it mostly popularized by MRAs (around the same time as public concious on ellior rodger and incel/chad terminology as well…shoulda been a red flag from the beginning imo) not just because it frames men as the ones who suffer the most due to their own actions rather than the women and children they torture on a daily basis, but it’s also been used to racially pathologize the boundaries and mannerisms i have that my (racist) white partners have been uncomfortable with in the past. your weird entitled impulse to police my body and the way i present myself in a way i genuinely enjoy and am comfortable is not remotely subtle, and the mental gymnastics behind your desires to impress your frat buddies does not excuse you brutalizing women on a daily basis and shaming children to the point they have serious issues coping with a lot of hardships that face them later in life.

the most visible majority of the trans masc community is white dudes and they all fucking suck. they’re terrible to women, trans nonbinary and cis, are either extremely liberal in their political stances or simply never talk about anything relating to it at all (and they all have garbage taste in fashion and music, i know that’s kinda petty but i think i’m allowed to be rude to people who try to make wanting to transition into a humanstuck karkat gijinka a universal experience and hozier and constantly self infantalize and weaponize their own softness while expecting everyone else on the planet to wait on them hand and foot.) i’ve met maybe 3 good white trans guys in my life and one of them i’ve been friends with since high school, it really put me off transitioning all together because i was raised mostly by women and a lot of my idols have been women since i was a kid (and even if this weren’t the case, colonialist concepts of respect / equality / gender in general are very different from nonwhite cultures, so even if i wasn’t constantly in immediate proximity of women or didn’t have any “significant” woman figures in my life it would stil feel very weird and removed.)

none of this, of course, is to imply that black men aren’t horrendously misogynistic (especially towards black women. lbr, mostly towards black women, lol. this is another one of those weird intersections, knowing that misogyny is not exclusively a product of white supremacy but that colonialism has definitely catalyzed it.) or that black men won’t use their race to get out of being rightfully accused of misogyny similar to the ways a lot of white gay people use their sexualities as a get out of jail free card, but i really don’t understand white trans guys like this. i think they realize they’re oppressed and cling to it as a personality trait, and when anyone calls them on it they get really offended cus they have nothing else to fall back on, hence all the gatekeeping and regurgitated TERF rhetoric (which any and all TME people have been guilty of, at some point, and a lot of whom unfortunately are still doing as i write up this post) and truscum antics. this nonsense got so bad that it put me off transitioning for like 5 years.

i’m here now, though, and i’m content with it, so i try not to hold too many grudges about it even if it is a bit frustrating and put me behind a lot of my peers. i’m mosly just focusing on how many doors open to you when you’re finally comfortable in your own skin lol.

[hello-robin-goodfellow]

THE DIFERENT CYCLES OF NOSTALGIA FILTER

Most of the nostalgia towards the past is based on Nostalgia Filter. The good stuff is remembered and the bad stuff ignored, forgotten or not even taken in account. When it's about a time period Two Decades Behind people will be nostalgic for it because they experienced it themselves, but from the viewpoint of a child or a teenager, when they didn't have to worry about all the adult stuff that depresses them nowadays, because the grownups took care of all that: taxes, work, bills, tragic news events,... If the nostalgia is about a time period people didn't directly experience themselves the romanticism is even more rampant. People will base their rosy posy image of that time period on stuff they have seen and read in books, comic strips, cartoons, TV series, films, old photos and/or fond memories of older family members. Usually they aren't aware that many things they now take for granted didn't always exist back then or were still considered highly controversial.

The glories of Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome where the cradle of philosophy and science started, everyone is able to enlist in the army (well, if you weren't a woman or a slave, of course) and see the world while doing so. You can go and enjoy watching Olympic Games, a play in the theater or watch exciting gladiator battles in the arena, philosophers like Socrates, Plato, Aristotle and Virgil are respected as pillars of their societies, and people were opened to sex and LGBT as opposed to the close-minded Christians in later centuries. Not taken in account: class systems, people dying early of diseases we nowadays have proper treatment for, slavery, democracy only for rich upperclass males citizens, bloody battles, Roman military service had to be fulfilled several years! before you could retire and start a civilian life, women having no rights, not even allowed to watch sporting games, xenophobia was so prevalent that would make modern prejudices and bigotry look tame, scientific contributions were more based on superstitions and empirical and weren't always based on logic (see Plato's and Aristotle's works), pederasty was the only accepted form of homosexuality and it was punishable if a relationship did not fit in those criteria (also it was only tolerated in some city and states), Roman sexuality was still arguably patriarchal and not all sexual taboo was acceptable (ie. a wealthy man get away with his slaves while married women were expected to be faithful, oral sex was considered shameful).

The thousand years of Chinese dynasties up until Republic was the time where people dressed in beautiful colorful haifu with good etiquette and manners, scholars were appreciated, education was valued as opposed during the Cultural Revolution, the Tang Dynasty was the golden age of prosperity and where women has more rights than any other periods. Not taken in account: the Confucians were oppressive against the lower social classes, the caste system, education systems were corrupted with many scholars and students were promoted based on bribes rather than actual skills, women were still considered inferior in the Tang Dynasty, the royal court were so deadly and decadent that would make the place in wuxia media look tame, slavery, the rebellions and civil wars (ie. The Three Kingdoms, An Lushan Rebellion, Taiping Rebellion) that were very common that cost million of lives that went unheard of and resulted in many famine and diseases that led to cannibalism, footbinding was practiced since the Song Dynasty, xenophobia was prevalent including against their sister countries like Japan and Korea.

The Middle Ages are usually romanticized as a glorious past with chivalrous knights fighting for the honor of beautiful princesses, proving their worth in tournaments, stuffing themselves at royal buffets with the kind old king, and defending castles against malevolent invaders. Not taken in account: The Plague, wars, mercenaries and soldiers plundering farms and villages, filthy streets, people dying at a young age because of insufficient knowledge of diseases, the injustice of the feudal system, monarchs and the Catholic Church being oppressive towards people with other viewpoints, high illiteracy, people executed and tortured for audience's pleasure and often without anything resembling a fair trial, women considered being lesser in status than men, famine whenever harvests failed... Ironically, the part that was arguably good, the Byzantine Empire (with its extremely high literacy and such luxuries as running water) is usually overlooked or completely ignored.

The Renaissance and The Enlightenment are the time when society finally got out of the bleak, primitive and God fearing Dark Middle Ages and gained wisdom by discovering a lot of stuff. Kings and queens never looked more magnificent. Artists and sculptors painted the finest works and humanists, philosophers and Protestants learned humanity to think for themselves. You could enjoy a Shakespeare play, listen to baroque classical music or have a swashbuckling duel. Not taken in account: A lot of new thought and discoveries in the field of science were very slowly adapted into society. Mostly because a lot of royals, religious authorities and other government officials suppressed these "dangerous" new ideas. Compared to those "primitive" Middle Ages more people have been hanged or burned on the stake for their beliefs and/or on the assumption that they were witches during the 1500s, 1600s and 1700s than in the centuries before! The Reformation and Counter-Reformation divided Europe and caused many casualties. All the great books and art works created during this era were only enjoyed or experienced by the very rich. Wars still ravaged Europe, colonization exploited other continents, slavery became a real industry and absolutism made the monarchy and nobility so powerful and decadent that they didn't care about the lower classes. Duels weren't glorious at all, just a matter of killing off your opponent.

The Golden Age of Piracy is one big adventure where you could go on a boat trip with pirates and have fun attacking other ships, taking gold and bury or search for treasure on some Deserted Island. Men were real men with a Badass Beard and cool looking eye patches, hooks for hands and wooden legs. Not taken in account: scurvy, people forced to do what their captain told them, your ship being attacked by other ships and losing, keelhauling, loot just being spent instead of buried, anti-piracy laws could get you arrested and hanged, storms could destroy your ship, all the cool looking eye patches, hooks for hands and wooden legs were just practical solutions for grievous injuries suffered during fights, and the fact that most of the Caribbean economy was reliant on the slave trade. There were also plenty of brutal attacks on helpless villages, indigenous communities, plantations, civilian ships, and even colonial settlements. In addition to helping themselves to everything that wasn't tied down, pirates would also torture, murder, enslave, and/or rape men, women, and children indiscriminately just for their own sick pleasure.

America's Wild West is a fun era where you could roam the prairie on a horse, visit saloons and shoot outlaws and Indians. Not taken in account: slavery was not abolished until deep in the 19th century and still going on in many colonies or remote place in the American South, cowboys took care of cattle and didn't engage in gun fights, gun violence was just as illegal as it is nowadays and could get you arrested by local sheriffs, outlaws could actually remain on the loose for several years, Native Americans being massacred by white settlers and armies, black people having no basic human rights, The Ku Klux Klan was a respected organization...)

The mid-to-late 19th century and early 20th century were a classy time period where everybody was impeccably dressed and had good manners. You could take a coach ride or (later on) test the "horseless carriage", read some of the greatest novels in history, listen to the first records or even the great Caruso in person, admire the wonders of electricity and enjoy a world still untouched by modern industry. Life in the colonies was even more fun because you so many countries were still unexplored territory and the ideal place for adventure. Not taken in account: Victorian values were dominant, women couldn't vote, poor people couldn't vote, industrialization didn't have any health, safety or ethical rules to obey, child labor was rampant, workers had no rights, factories were very harmful to people's health and the environment, city rivers were open sewers, upper class had all the advantages upon the lower class, people could be sent to the poor house when they couldn't pay their debts, many novels were just pulp (think of it as the 19th century version of Internet) and music was strictly symphonic, the first automobiles were as dangerous as electricity, colonization was great for white Europeans but not as much for the oppressed native populations of Africa and Asia, animals were still hunted down as trophies, people who looked different were exploited in freak shows and circuses for spectators to Come to Gawk.

The Interbellum (1920s and 1930s): Between the two world wars, life was great. Everybody went to night clubs and/or revue theaters where they could enjoy great jazz music, girls and comedians. Movie theaters were a great place to be, because fantastic cinematic masterpieces were made. On the radio you could great music and serials, and newspapers published the best and most engaging comic strips ever printed. Not taken in account: From 1920 until 1933 alcohol was prohibited in the USA, so having an alcoholic drink was impossible without getting arrested or dying because of bad homemade brew. Crime was able to organize itself in a way that will probably never get untangled again. Many people got murdered in gangster violence. Jazz music was initially seen as "barbaric" just because it was made by blacks, and it had to be adapted to symphonic music to make it well-known. Hollywood in its early years was subject to more scandals than ever since, leading to a industry-wide censorship that lasted until the 1960s. The Great Depression between 1929 and 1940 caused major unemployment and poverty in many civilized countries, also forcing quite some people to start a life in crime. The "Dust Bowl" generated a desertification of the Midwest. Germany was particularly struck hard, because the country was still paying huge war debts to other countries, causing mass poverty and the ideal atmosphere for Nazism to gain voters. Many countries during this time period suffered under either Nazism, Fascism or Communism. From 1933 on Jewish, homosexual, Romani and left wing people were already persecuted in Nazi Germany, at the same time disagreeing in anything with Stalin meant a one-way ticket to Siberia. War was already brewing in Europe and the Far East, when Japan invaded China and South East Asia. Many countries were still colonies, which wasn't a great deal for the natives there. Afro-Americans were still second class citizens and the Ku Klux Klan was still quite powerful in many political circles.

The '40s and World War II, the time where the entire world was united against a common evil foe and soldiers could still fight a just cause. Everybody worked together to defeat the Nazis or Japanese, while enjoying great Hollywood films and jazz and big band records on the radio. Not taken in account: Not everyone was united against the Axis. Numerous people (even Lindbergh and Ford) didn't consider Nazism or Fascism anything bad or felt their country should stay neutral in the war. During the occupations many people on both sides were arrested, deported, and/or murdered. People couldn't trust anyone, because your neighbor might be a Nazi collaborator or a spy who would turn you in to the authorities. The Nazis banned American and English music and films in Europe, so you could get in big trouble if you tried. Also, you know, there was a big war on. Millions of young soldiers were drafted and died on the battlefield, cities were bombed and occupied by enemy armies, you could die any day, shortages were rife.

The '50s: The last truly great time period in history. Music, films, politicians were nice, clean and decent. There was a general optimistic feeling about the future, exemplified in sunny fashions, interiors and technology. The youth enjoyed some great rock 'n' roll on their transistor radios and the early TV shows show how happy and pleased everybody was. Not taken in account: the Cold War, the Red Scare, anti-communist witch hunts, the Korean War, the French Indochina War, many European countries tried violently oppressing the inevitable independence of their colonies, Afro-Americans were still second-rate citizens in the USA and had to fight for human rights, homosexuals were forced to keep their sexual identity silent in many countries, the traditional role of women as housewives was still encouraged in many Western countries, a lot of music in the hit parade was still the bland, square, formulaic and sappy crooner music popular since the 20s, adults were scared of early rock 'n' roll and actually did everything to suppress the youth from listening to it and becoming teenage delinquents, the TV shows and films of that decade were so escapist that they ignored every controversial element.

The '60s and The '70s, a great time when everybody was a beatnik or a hippie and enjoyed fantastic rock music, marijuana, LSD and free love. People chased bad guys with their own hands with cool funk and disco music playing in the background. The young demonstrated for more democratic rights and everything changed for the better. Not taken in account: the older generation looked down upon hippies, the Vietnam War cost many lives, The Cuba Missile Crisis nearly caused a nuclear war between the USA and USSR, Afro-Americans still had to fight for civil rights, just like today there were just as much idealistic but naïve demonstrators who merely wasted time smoking pot instead of actually doing something, drug casualties were just as rampant back then as they are today, people took the law on their hands because of the alarming crime rates, not helped by the extreme corruption of police forces, psychedelic rock, funk and disco are now confined to sit in the shadow of both rock-and-roll and modern pop music, to the point that for decades, these were considered as the most cheesy genres created by man, [[not all demonstrators were pacifistic in their approach and it's an open question whether everything actually changed for the better.

The '80s: Oh yes. A great decade for pop culture after the sordid '70s and before everything went to the gutter in the '90s: Everybody felt a bright future coming along, as demonstrated by good TV shows, groundbreaking technology, computers and videogames, colorful clothing, simple yet catchy pop music and finally a TV channel that showed your favorite bands 24/7. The Cold War came to an end, the Berlin Wall and Apartheid fell. Not taken in account: The early 1980s had many people fear the Cold War wasn't going to end well. The Latin American debt crisis. President Reagan wanted more nuclear missiles in Europe, envisioned the Star Wars defense system and the "Evil Empire" speech reflected the "Red Scare" at a time "the Bomb" was still making everybody nervous. The Cold War, Berlin Wall and Apartheid did fall, but only near the end of the decade. Unemployment and economic crisis were a huge problem in many Western countries in the early years of the decade and the high speculation led to a bubble which fatigued in 1987 and burst in 1989. AIDS caused many victims because governments were slow to inform the general public on this disease as most people at first dismissed as just a problem for blacks, gays and drug users. TV shows and movies were extremely escapist and PCs and video games were prohibitively expensive. MTV did bring music videos on TV, but the downside was that how a pop star looked and danced became more important than the music, which was now created by computers, becoming increasingly sappy and repetitive as samples became the norm, becoming a disadvantage for those who still wanted to use actual instruments, chords and tunes. Metal and rap were seen as crime-mongering and even "satanic" as a whole. Also drugs went artificial during this time, turning Florida into a Crapsaccharine World. The nuclear power plant explosion in Chernobyl caused another major fear among people about the dangers of nuclear power.

The '90s and The Aughts: Dude. The Cold War has ended, and though some pesky Arabs (and some nutcases in the West) will try to blow people up and some Central European countries will be at each other's throats, there is peace at last! Outsourcing has lifted the West from the heavy load of manual work for good and turn to technology, and anyways, isn't the Internet wonderful? Society and culture are now free to break all imposed boundaries: Music has become more authentic with the arrival of rap, hip-hop, grunge and pop-punk. TV and movies now address modern issues instead of being stuck in those stodgy 50s and 60s. Politicians at last agree on stuff and generally get along. Whatever. Not taken in account: While a couple of years in the late 1990s were quite peaceful, the years before were marked by the extremely chaotic rearrangement of the former Warsaw Pact nations and the decade after was dominated by the Iraq War and memories of 9/11. The "technological revolution" ultimately never became the boon it was supposed to be: Economically, the exodus of manufacturing jobs forced the middle class to live on debt, which would give way to an economic meltdown by the end of the 2000s while privacy would gradually become a major source of concern as personal data became readily accessible. During the 1990s, the Internet was very expensive and was the province of businessmen and geeks while during the following decade, online downloads and chatrooms became incendiary topics. Grunge and "gangsta rap" were better known at their peak for the demise of several of their stars than for the music while hip-hop and pop-punk would be regarded in retrospective as trashy as the bubblegum pop that dominated the late 90s. By increasingly appealing to the trendy set, TV and film became increasingly shallow. While ideological differences became a thing of the past, politics became more self-serving and conflicts became pettier. As a result, people began to feel a sense of disconnection, which eventually led to the rise of strongly ideological populist movements.

SOURCE:

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NostalgiaAintLikeItUsedToBe

EXTRA: IN THE DISTANT YEAR OF 2045.

The New '10s and New '20s : Remember that meme? Do you have a Harriet doll? I need her to complet my My Little Poney: Friendship is Magic and Equestria Girls collection. Do you want to exchange her for my Fluttershy doll? Oh, do you like Lady Gaga? Her music was so deep. “Oppan Gangnam style. Gangnam style. Op, op, op, op oppan Gangnam style. Gangnam style. Op, op, op, op oppan Gangnam style. Eh sexy lady. Op, op, op, op oppan Gangnam style. Ehh sexy lady, oh, oh. Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh”. Oh, i love your funko pop of Baby Groot!  “ Gotta get that. Gotta get that. Gotta get that. Gotta get that that that. Boom boom boom (Gotta get that). Boom boom boom (Gotta get that). Boom boom boom (Gotta get that). Boom boom boom. (Gotta get that) Boom boom boom. That boom boom boom. That boom boom boom. Boom boom boom”. Avengers Assemble! 

Not taken in account: The Syrian refugee crisis. The burning of the Amazon jungle. Donald Trump as the american president. Jair Bolsonaro as the brazilian president. The Covid-19 Pandemic. Navy oil in the beachs of the brazilian north east. The Brazilian Cinematheque getting closed. Height of murders of LGBTQ in Brazil. Disney monopolizing the american TV an Movie Industry.

@theroguefeminist @ardenrosegarden @witches-ofcolor @mademoiselle-princesse @butterflyslinky @anghraine @notangryenough @musicalhell @rollingthunder06 @graf-edel-weiss @princesssarisa @culturalrebel @irreplaceable-ecstasyy @im-captain-basch @iphisquandary @jonpertwee

[jade-island-lives]

My Rainbow Soul: A Journey To Just Being Me (My Coming Out)

This has been in the back of my mind for such a long time. Seeing as it’s Pride Month, I thought that maybe I should talk about how I came out, my process with accepting who I was, and hopefully give people hope that things will get better.

Now, I won’t be using names or anything. But I will be talking about a lot of things. Lots of negative things such as abuse and anxiety. If you have a problem with this. Don’t read. I’ll be cutting it off here.

Ready? Okay.

Now, I grew up a small town that was pretty conservative. We lived where coyotes, rats, mice, skunks, and raccoons were a problem. A place where you could fish, hunt, and farm. Everyone knew everybody, and there was a real sense of community. 

I actually grew up pretty normal. I loved the Disney Princesses, Barbie, and even had a dollhouse. I had an obsession with two things however, mermaids and wolves. I LOVED those things to death. The story of Balto and how he delivered antitoxin to Nome Alaska was incredible, and I collected stuffed dogs to pretend I had a race team. And I had a love for all things ocean. I had mermaid dolls, sea shells, I collected sand dollars. It was a nice time. I also read a lot, and I drew a lot. 

Yeah, everything was normal. I played with my dolls and created worlds in my head. But looking back on it, I was a bit odd. I had a HUGE obsession over the Little Mermaid. Especially Ariel.

Every girl liked Eric. I liked Ariel. I dunno why, I just found her interesting. I wanted to be a mermaid like her and live with her under the sea.

In hindsight, that should have been the first clue

I didn’t even know the LGBT+ community existed until I was 12, (by that time I had dropped all things girly and gained a sense of tomboyishness because it just felt right and I loved all the boyish things other girls my age didn’t fuss over) and the way I found out was less than ideal. 

No worries, my family was, is, and always will be supportive of the LGBT+ community. But I found out about the community through, and this is going to be the dumbest thing ever. The Westboro Baptist Church.

You see, at that time I was on YouTube a lot. And when I was bored of watching the same Warrior Cat AMVs over and over (which was really rare) I would watch documentaries about strange things. Like mystery diagnosis stuff and serial killer things. (I swear, I was only a writer who needed ideas, still am.)  And one day in my recommended section was a documentary of The Worst Family in America. I thought “Oh how bad can they be?”

When I was done watching it, I was confused. Wait, two guys getting married? That’s a thing? And God doesn’t like that? Why? It’s not hurting anyone!”

Thankfully, my family shut that shit down, saying God made everyone for a reason and that he made no mistakes. I did more research on it, being my curious self, and found out that there was a whole community, that being gay wasn’t a choice, God made us as we were, all kinds of rainbows and love. Eventually, loving the LGBT+ community was everything, and I began to hate injustice towards those who couldn’t control who they were. 

I started getting inclusive in my writing then. Writing gay and lesbian characters, writing about Bi characters and Pans too. And even Trans and Aces. I started learning that there was a rainbow of sexuality and identity, and as we grow, we find a place among it.

Unfortunately for me, being a teen was a nightmare in so many ways. I had my friends, most of which were boys. And around that time, all the girls and guys started dating. I didn’t like guys in that way, never really did. And at the time I didn’t think about it. I was learning about my writing skill, I couldn’t be bothered. I was trying to figure out what I was good at.

But eventually, it caught up with me. 

People started asking if I was gay. And I always said no, but eventually. I found my first crush.

And it wasn’t a guy.

Every time I saw her, it was like butterflies. I could never think straight when she was around. I loved her.

And surprisingly, that scared me. 

I never really knew why until now. While I was and still am supportive of the LGBT community. I was well aware of the violence that came with it. The beatings, the discrimination, all of it. People have died because the world didn’t want to change. At the time, marriage wasn’t legal, and my life could be on the line in certain countries. 

In fear of the discrimination, I got in a relationship with a guy to keep suspicions off. I thought that maybe if I hid myself enough I would start to believe I wasn’t gay.

But the relationship was toxic. Emotionally manipulative and abusive. I don’t really want to go into it. For the longest time, I thought it was okay. If I could keep it up and make it work, eventually I would be happy. 

It was stupid. So stupid. To anyone out there, men, women, whatever. If someone forces you to do something you aren’t comfortable with, if you are AFRAID to be around them to the point where you walk on hot coals around them. If you are afraid of telling them something because of what you think they will say or do. Get out of it. Now. They don’t have to hit you to be abusive, women can do it too, and you deserve to feel loved and safe.

I broke free of it with the help of my friends, including my best friend in the entire world, but to this day I still feel terrible about it. How I lied, how I never spoke up, how I broke his heart. It makes me overlook all the times I felt pressure, all the times I was afraid to tell him how I felt. How I was afraid to be alone with him. 

I would be fearful of getting in any relationships. And because most of my friends were guys, of course rumors were spread. I always said that I wasn’t interested in anyone. And I wasn’t. 

I don’t remember struggling with my sexuality too much in my junior or senior year. Mostly because I was struggling with my mental health and I just remember nothing but sadness. A black fog over me that I let consume every bit of me until I was nothing but a shell that just appeared and disappeared. But it was there I remember. Crushes and hiding them, reminding myself that the world would not accept me.

Until the morning Same Sex Marriage was legal in the US.

I still remember the rainbow flags all over Facebook. The videos of couples crying, Obama speaking. I remember just tears, curling up on my couch sobbing with tears of joy. 

I remember thinking, “I can get married now. It's accepted. It’s okay.”

But there were still issues, there always will be. And I almost fell straight back into the closet. 

Eventually I was tired of people asking me if I was straight or gay, and so I just said I was Bi. I...felt it was safer. I don’t know why. 

For the record, I’m sorry I hid behind Bisexuality. It’s a misconception that Bi people are just gay people closeted or straight people experimenting. Bisexuality is a real sexuality and it needs to be respected as such no matter the relationship. 

I used Bisexuality because I wanted people to think I could still date guys and I wouldn’t be discriminated against. But I wasn’t Bi, I was gay. And I knew it. Please don’t think my experience is the same for everyone. Bisexuality is a real sexuality, a real feeling that people have. And it’s valid whether you are dating a man or a woman. 

At some point, something broke in me. I was tired of fighting it. I don’t remember the reason. Maybe it was my therapist telling me to be honest, the headache of living a lie, somehow I realized I that I was done not being me. And so...

I came out to my best friend by text. Tears in my eyes. I was met with overwhelming love and support. He told his family and I was met with so much love that way.

And then I told my family...who already KNEW. They had known since I was 12 and loved me no matter what. It was the sweetest thing, and I wish more than anything that I could go back and tell my past self that it would all be okay, to not care what other people think of me.

And if there is anything you can learn from this, it’s this. 

You may be afraid to come out or you can’t. And that’s okay. You don’t have to come out for anyone other than yourself. There’s no set time on accepting who you are. For some, it takes their entire lives. You may think you’re one thing, but then you discover you’re something else, that’s okay too. 

As I’ve always said, sexuality and identity are a rainbow, and a tricky one. But you will find your way. And no matter what, whether you are still in the closet or people don’t think your sexuality is real, you are valid, you are loved, and it does get better. And you CERTAINLY are welcome this Pride Month. <3 

It got better for me, and now I wear my rainbow heart proudly for everyone to see. So I may never hide in that nasty closet again.

[angrykpoprants]

I dont know its just been bugging me how some armys are picking and choosing who to attack and hate on. For example The chainsmokers have been openly racist and when called out on it so many fans were like "So what its good for their careers" yet when Desiigner gets called out being homophobic (which most rappers are lets me honest) he got attacked. They turned the blind on Boy George and Mark dice (Barely said anything to them) but attacked desiigner pt1

Pt2 then with the cupcakke situation she made some sexual comments that she didnt even @ bts in got attack with death threats. But the minute Ellen ask a sexual question “It’s her humor” Like really??? Then people had the audacity to say they need to be exposed to Hollywood when if it was POC interview they would be saying the EXACT opposite. Then Rachel Platten is STILL getting slut shamed over a week later for sitting on a armrest… these fans are going to fuck shit up for bts

I noticed to but I actually didn’t know how to bring it up in a post. That is actually the main reason why I have two twitter accounts, one where I follow a bunch of kpop accounts and my other one where I just follow to kpop artist but turn off their retweets. I personally never like the chainsmokers to begin with, even before them trying to be friends ever happened, the vibe you get from the chainsmokers is a little off too but that’s just my personal opinion coming out. I personally don’t think their joke about China was “good for their career” or a laughing matter, the only way I would find that joke funny is if the joke was said in a stand up comedy type of setting. They came at it like all Asian’s eat dog… aren’t they supposed to be close friends with BTS who are Asians living in modern day Asia? That joke is so old and so used up now too, if he wanted to make a racist Asian joke at least have some sort of originality.

I don’t really know too much on the Desiigner situation but yeah, most American rappers can tend to seem ore homophobic, I’m not giving Desiigner any excuse but in the world of American hip hop it seems like you need to portray yourself in an extremely macho-man kind of way. I just went on Boy George’s twitter I could see what he said was wrong but some I felt like some of the tweets he said did have some sort of truth to them, how kpop is really nothing new and the makeup thing. Kpop did have 70s and 80s vibe to it and they do wear makeup but they don’t wear makeup to appear androgynous. Get me right when I say this, the kpop male style reminds me more of Prince where the clothes they wear and the way the do their makeup can be leaning on the feminine side but at the same time there some equally as sexy and masculine to it. I just think that at time Boy George  had nothing better to do, while he still is a 70′s icon he’s not really talked about much and the fact that he is just extremely flamboyant, and i believe he once said that hes not gay or straight but at the same time hes not bi… so idk about him . I’m really surprised that no one said anything about Mark Dice, at the same time of making fun of them he also called them Lesbians which can seem like an insult to the LGBT community, it’s totally fine for people not to like BTS, I knew them performing here wouldn’t be all lollipops and rainbows with peoples reactions to it. But you should at least say something to him about how he just insulted the LGBT community, that part does bother me the most because I do have a gay cousin on my Dad’s side and a Lesbian cousin on my Mom’s side.

The Cupcakke situation, i feel was wrong, because that can be a form of sexual harassment and the fans that are attacking her probably comment the same type of stuff on youtube and twitter… But we do have to give her props because she never directly mentioned it to them so unless they were following her they probably didn’t see it, and for them to send death threats to her is a bit much and they should really take into consideration the type of music she makes.

I feel like Ellen should have gotten some sort of feed back from the fans because of many things, she asked them if they ever hooked up with the armys… if they do they do if they don’t they don’t, not all of them can be pure virgins but that’s just my opinion and the only person who will know are themselves and future partners. I did feel like that question was a bit disrespectful, at least to them it seems like the interpreter didn’t want to translate the question either. Sex is still a taboo subject in Korea, they are not open about hook up and things like that over there. I understand where the fans are coming from too by saying it’s her humor. To me Ellen seems like she has more of a sarcastic, kind of dry sense of humor and I do get that she was trying to be funny and original since they really were never asked that question before but I feel like Ellen should have done some research on what and what not to ask and what is acceptable to ask in Korea and go along with that. That question did seem to make them uncomfortable and I personally don’t think its funny when someone asked a question that makes people uncomfortable especially when its being asked to a group of people that come from a conservative country. I don’t understand what they mean when they said they need to be exposed to Hollywood because they dont want to be directly in Western media, being noticed and being in are two different things but there fans dont seem to understand that. I’m sure they are happy in there own country and they are happy doing work all over Asia because that is really where the money comes in. Also, they want them to be exposed to Hollywood for what reason? Hollywood is a corrupt business. They didn’t even want to attend the after party. If its about the hook up thing… look at how many love motels and brothels there are in Asia, I’m sure they are exposed to that type of lifestyle enough in their own country. I do agree with you about the POC thing, I also didn’t know how to bring that up since I’m not black so I didn’t want to start it off and they only ties I have to the black community was with my brother who is always in AMBW relationships. I think the reaction would be totally different, coming from both POC and non-POC. It seems like either both groups not all of people like to hate on POC, its seems like they either feel like they are disrespectful towards kpop groups or they feel threatened, especially if its a female because the non-poc think that they are going to fall in love with every poc they see and the poc feel in a way also threatened but at the same time appalled because its not them in the situation or its not the ideal poc interacting with them.

With the Rachel Platten thing, I saw the pictures and I believe that she was sitting on the armrest because she would have to be a lot bigger than them to look that big if she were sitting on RM’s lap. The reason why RM had that type of reaction is probably because she was a bit close to him and he was in shock being in a situation like that, and he has to keep a clean image for his fans too because even they know how their fans get when they seem to get a little to close to a girl. Even if she was sitting on his lap its not like shes trying to jump his bones. The women is happily married for god’s sake. Also, sitting on the opposite sexes lap doesn’t make you a slut…its not like she proceeded to give them a lap dance after the photo either. She was actually wearing an outfit where she was quite covered up, the outfit was sexy but it wasn’t “slutty” and lets be honest. Kpop female artist have worn worse and have interacted with kpop male artist in a very suggestive way but how come fans don’t shame them? I’m not condoning slut shaming and  I’m not saying that female idos should be slut shamed, I just said that for reference. Slut shaming is wrong. Period. I feel bad for Rachel Platten to be honest, she probably just wanted to take a photo with them and it seemed like she was trying her best to give them their space, she didn’t even put her arm around them. It looks like she was just having fun that night. I want to apologize to her on behalf of the army’s that do want to have a nice image. Yes, fans do mess things up for them, and it’s sad. Because you have the people like me and you that actually do care about BTS and want a good reputation but the majority is messed up. Too, I think its more of the fact that fans represent the artist and that’s how artist do get judged. It is kind of upsetting too that bighit doesn’t speak on these issues either because its just getting worse and worse, maybe they turn a blind eye to it or they just look at the numbers rather than looking at the issues that do arise in the fandom.

im going to tag this because I want the fans to see this.

[1nfamous-cvpidz]

LGBT Questionnaire: Cupid Syren

1. what is your sexuality? 

Pansexual ~ 

 2. what do you identify as?

 Genderfluid 

 3. how long have you been aware of your sexuality/identity? 

Back in high school, I considered myself bisexual. Then I dated someone who was genderfluid and acknowledged that I would date beyond the gender binary. I came out as bi my sophomore year of high school, but I didn’t learn about pansexuality till my senior year. So about 4 years now. As for my genderfluidity? Mm… it’s hard to say. I always felt that there was something different about me since I was like 8. I started experimenting with gender roles and gender when I was a freshman in high school. I switched back and forth between male and female a lot. I felt more comfortable with being male, but I enjoyed the switching back and forth. The fluidity. I didn’t learn about that term till my freshman year in college I think.. so with the term, it’s been 2 years. But with my overall behaviors for my identity, it’s been 6 years. 

4. do you have any preferences? 

 What do you mean by preferences? As in preferred pronouns or do I prefer to date men, women or non-binary more? Well, with my identity, I lean towards masculine (he/him) and non-binary (they/them) more. With my sexually, I’ve dated more men and have more interest towards non-binary and gender queer individuals I suppose. 

 5. share a positive memory about coming out! 

Mm… the 1st time I came out to my family about my genderfluidity was pretty awesome. My mom told me how she was the same way when she was younger, except back then they called it being a tomboy. And I’m not entirely sure if tomboy and genderfluidity fall into the same category. I feel tomboy may align more with demiboy or the term simply means a cisgendered girl who dresses and acts like a boy. Idk. But my mom has always had a masculine spirit about her. Her mannerisms and thought process are masculine in my opinion. She was a single mom who worked really hard. She was the sole financial provider, etc. She’s very aggressive, confrontational, blunt, straightforward and assertive. She likes to be in control and I associate those traits with masculinity. But she can dress up beautifully and has legs for days. She can pull off masculine AND feminine clothing. It’s really awesome. She told me she loves me no matter what, unconditionally. My dad calls me by my preferred name ^_^ he accepts me too.

 6. how do you feel about pride month? 

 I’m super excited. I think it’s important to have a month dedicated to who we are as individuals. We are an important part of history and society. We matter just as much as everyone else because we’re human. Pride isn’t just about taking pride in your gender or sexuality, it’s about taking pride in who you are, period. Whether you’re black, white etc. or gay, straight, etc. take pride in being yourself. Love yourself. Every bit, every piece that makes you, YOU. Love it all. It’s all about love, acceptance, peace and equality. It’s an amazing feeling. 

7. do you participate in pride related events? any other events?

I wanted to be a part of the Allies club at my college, but the days fell on when I had classes, so it was hard. Back in high school, I tried to develop something similar to the Allies club called BGSA which then turned into the Alliance of Equality. Now, high schoolers from my school have kept the club alive but under a different name! It’s pretty awesome. I’ve also started going to pride parades in NYC. 

8. how do you feel about lgbtqa roles in media?

I feel like so much more can be done with media representation for LGBTQIA+. We do have shows, like Orange is the new black, that include a lot of diversity for this community. However, shows like this (and others I can’t really name off the top of my head at the moment) that tend to show LGBTQiA+ as being deviant most of the time. Criminal. Then there are some shows that do a decent enough job, but may lean towards stereotypes more. I really think movies should have more representation as much as shows. Hollywood likes to do “subtle” when it comes to our community for some reason, especially in animations, or they play a lot off of suggestive puns and innuendos. If you’re going to do it, DO IT. Do it BIG. Loud and PROUD. None of this, “well there MIGHT have been a gay couple in this movie…” And if movies were to be less subtle about it, directors, writers and producers should be more aware of other identities such as bisexual, pansexual etc. when it comes to romance and sexuality. I feel shows should do the same too

Video games have shown some representation for androgyne and gender queer individuals, but again it’s subtle. You have a character that looks androgynous but is referred to as he/him, so that’s technically cisgender representation. Some games may play a little more with gender and gender roles in that regard, like introducing cross-dressing and such. There’s pros and cons to this form of representation. I also know that Overwatch now has an openly gay playable character, which is pretty awesome. But we really need to push more past the whole, “subtle” notion.  

 9. do you feel pride in who you are? 

This is a complicated question in my opinion. I would love to scream out loud, “YES I DO,” but I also want to be realistic and honest here. I do struggle with taking pride in and loving who I am, mainly because I deal with a lot of complications due to my identity. I am learning to love and accept myself more though and to worry less about what other people think about me. I am slowly becoming more comfortable in my own skin and with who I am, but it isn’t an easy journey for me. I’m working on it. 

10. who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery?

Currently, my supportive idols are my friends and family. Probably more so my family.

11. tell us about your first crush?

Mm..Can my memory even go back that far? Okay, uh. My first male crush.  It was when I was 10. I met him online via those old streams and chatrooms that youtube use to have. He was a friend of one of my cousins. He was a pretty cool, playful and creative kid. His dad was a photographer and he eventually went down the path of media production and film making. He makes awesome videos and short films now. 

My first female crush was a friend of mine. She had such curly and wild hair. I was 11. I use to take a pencil and wrap some of her curls around it, then slip the pencil out to watch her curls bounce when I sat behind her in class. lol She was small, cute and full of bubbly energy. Really weird and unique. Idk what she does currently, but I know she’s done some modeling, wears a lot of high-end fashion and name brand clothing and attends high-end fancy events with her mom and friends. Very much a city girl.

My first non-binary/gender queer crush was on another friend of mine. This was when I was 16 or 17, my sophomore or Junior year of high school. At the time, he identified as “he/him” more. He was genderfluid and an amazing artist. He still arts and does a lot of modding, contributions and commissions for chat sites and stuff. 

12. what sort of advice to have you lgbtqa teens? 

Don’t be afraid to explore. It’s okay to change over time. Reach out to friends and family or anyone you feel provides good support. Do research, read up on new things, new identities and sexuality. Educate yourself. Ask questions, attend information sessions. Slowly get out of your comfort zone to put yourself out there and meet people just like you or who have common interests/preferences. Do what you think is best for you even if that means cutting off toxic people, people who invalidate or don’t respect you. 

Enforce your pronouns and identity.  If you want to be referred to as something, then tell people that. Correct them if they make a mistake.Don’t worry about making other people uncomfortable because of who you are, just be aware that not everyone is going to understand. Help them by educating and informing them about who you are. Guide them and provide some sources if you like. Encourage them to find out more on their own. If they make the effort to get to know you more to understand your identity and support you, they are worth keeping around. 

But also keep in mind that people make mistakes and something like pronouns or preferred names are hard to get on the first shot. Give people time to process, learn and adjust. Allow people to make mistakes, correct them maturely and move on. 

Lastly, receiving validation from others is great and all…but the most important validation and acceptance come from you. Learn to love and accept yourself. 

 13. have you come out to friends and family?

Yes, friends and family.

 14. how do you feel about the term “coming out” ?

Mm…when I first heard the term, my question was, “coming out of what?” To which someone explained, “the closet.” Then I asked, “why a closet?” And no one could really answer lol I don’t really know where these phrases came from. Maybe from the notion of, “having skeletons in the closet.” Like having dirty little secrets. I’m not really a dirty little secret though. I don’t think my identity should be a dirty little secret that I’m now revealing to the world, but that’s how society sees it as.  It’s silly. 

 15. do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of?

Maybe cisgendered and straight people think we come from Narnia, so the “closet” refers to the lion, the witch and the wardrobe. Idk. Maybe the “closet” refers to a sheltered world that society wants everyone to conform to but we, LGBTQIA+ individuals, manage to step out from that world or mind frame into a better place. Who knows. Again, it’s silly.

 16. any tips on coming out?

Take it at your own pace. Do it when you feel ready to, although I don’t really think anyone can feel entirely ready for something like this. Prepare for it, make sure you feel somewhat safe and secure in the environment. Remember you aren’t alone and you’re not the only one who had to go through this. Coming out takes a lot of courage. You can do it. 

17. what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtqa characterization in media?

As I mentioned in a previous answer, it’s how “subtle” the representation is, as well as the deviancy/criminality associated with the community as well. Oh and the stereotypes. And the lack of awareness or representation of other sexualities because you’re either straight or gay, nothing in between according to society.

18. what’s your favorite parts of lgbtqa characterization in media? 

Some LGBTQIA+ specific movies I find on netflix and stuff do a really good job focusing on the romance aspect than the sexual aspect. Being able to love anyone we want to love. Some also do a good job to show the struggles and issues in LGBTQ+ relationships and how they are pretty much the same as straight relationships. Relationships are relationships no matter who’s involved and the issues that arise in those relationships aren’t always tied to gender or sexuality. “We have complications because we’re gay.” No, it’s mostly probably because of other factors such as finances, loyalty, etc. like in any other relationship. 

19. what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school? 

Complications. There’s always going to be complications when it comes to, “living that sort of lifestyle.” We mainly discussed a lot about discrimination, hate crimes, religion and bullying. The two things that really bothered me about the education, especially with psychology, is that when it came to relationships, it was always about heterosexuality. Teachers would briefly mention homosexuality. Even with sex ed, teachers briefly touched on homosexuality. In college, it’s a little more interesting. Discrimination, religion and hate crimes are still discussed. We have a course dedicated to specifically studying gender and race. But the course focuses more on gender roles between men and women and gender equality than it does on the LGBTQIA+ community. Again, briefly discussed. 

The second thing is people seem so afraid now to discuss their opinions on LGBTQ+ for fear of being hated on for their opinion. There was a time where my professor asked the class how many people don’t think gay people should be allowed to marry (this was when it was already legalized, but the professor wanted to hold a more in depth conversation about it). Almost no one raised their hand…Now, I go to a private catholic college. You’re really gonna tell me EVERYONE in that room agreed for gay people to marry? If so, awesome. Cool. But I don’t think people should be afraid to say their opinion if that isn’t the case. It’s okay to have healthy discussions and debates on this topic. It’s okay to be against something or not agree with something as long as you don’t violate the rights of another person. You want to voice your opinion? Go for it. Just know there’s going to be someone out there who doesn’t agree with you and will challenge your views. And that’s okay (till things get out of hand, but that’s a different matter). 

20. do you practice safe sex with the same sex? 

Of course! STDs are still a concern regardless of gender.

21. what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same sex? 

Someone who is too critical and judgmental, controlling, manipulative and plays games. 

22. what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same sex?

Good communication, good work ethics (hard working), honest, loyal, ambitious, caring. 

23. how do you feel about lgbtqa clubs/apps/websites?

I can’t really say much on this. I’ve only used one LGBTQ+ app before and that was a dating app called HER. It was decent when I had it at the time and I talked to a lot of interesting people. You have the option to select your preferred gender and sexuality beyond the normal selections, which I greatly appreciated. I’m not very active in LGBTQ+ school clubs or entertainment clubs. I don’t really venture onto websites for this community either unless I’m doing research papers on the subject. I had to do a paper on gender dysphoria and transgenders once and found a lot of helpful LGBTQ+ websites on the subject.

24.  how do you feel about the term “queer” ? 

I’m not against it. I like the term. I’m aware of the negative connotations that may be associated with the term, but I refuse to let that bother me.It’s a term I feel the community has taken back and made something so much more positive out of it. Queer/gay also means happy. 

25. how does your country view the lgbtqa community?

Oh, boy. This is what a professor once said and I feel that she is better at explaining the views today on the community:

“The U. S. as a whole… I think we have a LONG way to go. The whole bathroom ridiculousness in North Carolina and other places is evidence that we aren’t as far along as a country as we should be. I also think Americans might be more accepting of transgenderism than androgyny - Americans don’t like it when they aren’t allowed to categorize and KNOW a person’s gender for some reason, we’ve somehow placed a person’s gender at the center of who they are as a person and feel uncomfortable when we aren’t given clear signs pointing in one direction or another.” -SU, psychology professor. 

26. favorite lgbtqa actor/actress? 

Laverne Cox (I don’t really know many, sadly. Sorry.)

27.any tips for heterosexual people on how to handle lgbtqa events/news? 

Do further research. Ask questions. Calmly and maturely discuss and debate. Reach out to LGBTQIA individuals for further information on something. DON’T harass anyone. Keep an open mind and be open to other people’s perspectives/views on a subject. 

28. what’s the most annoying question you have ever gotten? 

When it comes to my genderfluidity, I often get people questioning whether I have dissociative identity disorder instead of a gender identity.Many people tend to see me as two different people, with different mannerisms, thoughts and feelings from one another. I’ve had people tell me or question me about having different personalities or mind sets when I’m one way versus the other and it’s really annoying. 

29. how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/Identity?

I don’t mind getting questions about my sexuality. I’m a little more guarded when it comes to my identity because genderfluidity is a really hard thing for me to explain to others. Or it’s hard for others to understand my explanations and people like to go really in depth and personal with my gender identity. They tend to ask questions that I really don’t have the answers to right now because I’m still trying to understand my identity, myself. So, I get overwhelmed and uncomfortable easier with questions about my identity, but I do my best to explain what I can. 

30. what is your romantic affiliation?

Uh…? Like demiromantic or aromantic? I think I’m demiromantic. I need some type of emotional connection before developing a romantic bond, But.I’m not entirely sure given my current situation..I do know for 100% certainty that I am a hopeless romantic tho lol.

~Cupid Syren

[harryisntstraight]

Hey bethan im sorry for creating Discourse but i need to say this and your blog is always a safe place for unpopular onions. so im gay and ive always thought harry wasnt straight and it just made me happy to know my fave was like me but now with this Very Het album (some of the lyrics don't sit right w me) i cant help but feel like he has maybe,… idk like tried to play both sides a bit? Like to appeal to lgbt fans and please them with his gay comments? This sounds so wrong i know and im 1/

so confused but at the same time i dont believe that saying dont knock it til you try it or not that important and all the other stuff were just to show support to the lgbt community, i think its much more than that, its him telling us he isnt straight without outright saying im not straight. And now i feel like he played me and here i was thinking this album would be gay and H would kill me w gender neutral pronouns and instead hes out there singing about pussy juice and knocking up girls and like i know it doesnt mean he cant like men too but i cant help but feel that he is In Fact Straight™ and playing gay/bi was just a big joke to him or something. i know he does support the community but all these comments kinda rub me the wrong way now that i dont believe he truly meant them. Im not even excited for the album bc he sounds like the womanizer hes been portrayed as for years and i never liked this image. He said several times that this image bothered him and wasn't true

first of all hiiiii i’m glad you think my blog is a safe space for u thats actually so nice of u to say, so thank u for that! but listen, i really cant tell you what to think or how to feel and i really dont think anything that i say is gonna help the way youre feeling. i know exactly how it feels to be gay and to want to see yourself in the celebs that you love and seeing them support the lgbt community is nice and all but having them be a part of it is something completely different and i think its only natural to hope that thats something they might be. but at the end of the day, theyre real people with real lives and we cant expect or demand that from them. i think its unfair to the celeb to pin all your hopes on them being lgbt (which is def something i’m guilty of doing myself) and then be upset or angry with them if their actions go against that. i think with harry its really complicated because he has done a load of things that would suggest that he isnt straight, he’s done them publicly for anyone to see and read into pretty unabashedly. so i feel like of course people like you and i are gonna assume that he’s like us and part of the community that we belong to and i think its natural to kind of get attached to that and have it be something thats really important to u. but like, this is something that i’ve always said and i still believe, even if harry is straight then at the very worst he’s a great lgbt ally who loves and supports us and i think thats important to remember. its easy to look at his comments and his rainbows and all that and brush it off as ‘playing both sides’ or ‘queerbaiting’ when in reality that could just be him trying to show us that he loves his lgbt fans and has our backs. i know that doesnt feel nearly as important or special as harry being one of us, but yknow, i feel like it still counts for something. like, i just dont get why people want to assume the worst in him and think that its just him trying to appeal to the gays and that he doesnt really care. maybe i’m naive or try too hard to see the best in him but i really believe that its not an act or some kind of marketing scheme but that it reflects his real feelings towards lgbt people. and like.....at the end of the day i still.......think that he isnt straight. like sexuality is truly so complex and just because he’s slept with women that by no means cancels out everything else he’s ever done thats hints at him not being straight. i think its easy to forget that harry is like.....a Person(tm) and maybe he just isnt ready to put that side of himself out there in any way that isnt just vague and thats okay too. i dont know i hope this doesnt sound like i’m coming for you or anything you’re totally allowed to feel the way that you do i just think that it’s not as black and white as either ‘harrys lgbt’ or ‘harrys queerbaiting’ like....idk......its complex

[offmyterf]

I was "misgendered" at work

And I didn't bite the lady's head off like a raging grizzly bear on roids.

I was outside doing storefront customer service. It was a nice day and hardly anyone was showing up so I was facing the building. A lady sees me, from the side and back, and calls out, "sir, sir excuse me?" I let her say it a few more times to see if she would catch on that I don't answer to sir, but after a while I accepted it and turned around politely, and asked how could I help?

By now maybe she saw my earrings, but that's just a fashion choice. Why wouldn't a skinny teenage boy not experiment with earrings in 2018? Well, I helped the lady as was my job to do so, and the day went by as normal.

Now, this can bother anyone. I've accidentally said sir or ma'am to people wrongfully by mistake off of hairstyle of body type, because guess what, our brains are trained to read immediate clues so that we can interact with each other in real time. Honest mistakes happen.

Let me describe my appearance I am clearly a female, but I have the lithe yet agile body of a teenage boy, or really young teenage girl. Skinny, medium height, with a young androgynous face (strangers often mis-age me as well. I get coded as sometimes a decade younger than I am), short curly hair and long limbs. Add to that I am ethnic, with a combo of facial features that are not very common.

People who come from out of state or country have asked me many things. Am I a model? (I'm short tho sooooo) And excuse me sir? (Am I that young looking? Tf?) And when I'm dressed very feminine which is my usual, I don't get mistaken for a boy. So a lot of it has to do with clothing and body language too. I remember toying with this when I was a preteen. Sometimes I dressed like a boy to avoid being bullied, because my usual style (I was really into harajuku/kawaii/sanrio & tamagotchis back then) was considered "babyish".

Now, the point I'm trying to make is that as a culture we put so much into gender, that we constrict the way children express themselves and come into their own. Combine this with identity politics, a polarized political climate and a huge generation of lost souls well, this is why we see so many non-dysphoric youth rebranding their self expression and personality type as a gender. So much importance is placed on gender that it is becoming more confusing by the day.

We should leave the complex gender stuff to those it affects the most, which are people with dysphoria. We should be putting our resources in this area towards them and not indulging people like Tiffany Moore who go into rages and accuse people of something as serious as bigotry over honest mistakes, while they go around displaying clear sex-differenciated behavior characteristics that make it all too easy to misgender them. People usually are more sensitive to those who try, because they can see the source of their effort, a genuine desire to be read as their chosen gender identity.

Some may say I'm lucky to be able to switch around my looks so easily, and may call that a privilege. I accept this responsibility. And I enjoy adding to the happiness others feel when I use their desired pronouns because I understand how that feeling can be so invigorating and satisfying. And I genuinely see people as the opposite gender if they present themselves that way and wish to be addressed as such. Their sex won't even cross my mind. Back in the day, LGBT folks used he and she interchangeably and people didn't even blink an eye.

But if we force society to grovel and tiptoe just to exist, some of the worst forms of bigotry are going to fester and eventually explode. Bigotry is wrong, misgendering is rude and ridicule is bad behavior, but so is witch-hunting, blacklisting and shunning people for making genuine mistakes and/or disagreeing.

I was called a racial epithet on my way to school once by a crazy drug addict on the corner. Well guess what. That lunatic has a right to be racist of he wants as long as it doesn't influence my chances of finding work, riding a train or buying groceries. So I don't give a dead rat and a roach wing.

We need to be level headed as people, as members of society. We need to be more gentle, more kind and more understanding. Rage begets rage.

Resistance is action, self preservation, and doing for self. The Black Panthers didn't beg the KKK to make it's free breakfast program. They did it on their own and did not whine and complain. They accomplished more for their own in such a short time than in the decades that are idling by after the CIA dismantled them. Feminists worked hard for womens rights not by begging but by creating and executing laws and changes specific to their cause. Same with LGBT etc.

But I find it very odd that today, a lot of young people who are part of marginalized communities are more concerned about forcing others to agree with them than they are about creating safe spaces and group specific changes.

Something went wrong.

[kidsviral-blog]

The 1970s Feminist Who Warned Against Leaning In

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/the-1970s-feminist-who-warned-against-leaning-in/

The 1970s Feminist Who Warned Against Leaning In

There is more to gender equality than making money. Four writers talk feminism, race, capitalism, and the appeal of some good, sexy class analysis.

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Getty Images / BuzzFeed News

Forty years before Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In, there was Sheila Rowbotham’s Woman’s Consciousness, Man’s World.

Hailed by Simone de Beauvoir as one of the most interesting feminist thinkers of her era, Rowbotham didn’t always think of herself as a feminist. Growing up in 1950s England, she associated the word with “frightening people in tweed suits with stern buns,” but she was always countercultural, drawn first to the bohemia of the Beat movement, and later to the moral certainty of Marxism.

Within these movements, Rowbotham began to think critically about her experience as a woman. She reeled at the socialist men who “solemnly told everyone that drugs and drink and women were a capitalist plot to seduce the workers from Marxism,” and the passivity of the ideal Beatnik “chick,” who was “serene and spiritual … with a baby on her breast and her tarot cards on her knee.” But she also felt a sense of solidarity with the women she encountered, from girls “with no academic protections” who earned their financial independence by dancing in clubs, to Beat women who organized “co-operative sewing schemes” for artists. “They weren’t like me,” she writes in Woman’s Consciousness, Man’s World. “But they were enough like me in a different way for me to respect what they were doing.”

By the end of the 1960s, both the U.S. and British Left were in a state of fractious expansion, as the burgeoning black power and women’s liberation movements demanded a new politics that took into account identity and difference. Rowbotham was at the forefront, co-organizing the landmark National Women’s Liberation Conference, held at Oxford in 1970.

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Courtesy Verso Books.

In Woman’s Consciousness, Man’s World, first published in 1973 and re-released by Verso books last month, Rowbotham brings her feminism and socialism together, arguing that capitalism shapes and upholds the gender divide: Men’s earning power depends on having someone, typically a woman, do a whole lot of unpaid work in the home. (In recent decades, that housework and child care is increasingly done by immigrant women and women of color for low wages.)

Rowbotham’s critique of capitalism is scathing, but she also acknowledges that capitalism provided the conditions for second wave feminism to emerge. Liberating technologies like the Pill — and the capitalist philosophy of the self-actualized individual — enabled women and children to be seen as people with their own rights and desires beyond the family unit.

In an age of #GirlBosses chasing a vision of success defined by men who relied on the support of stay-at-home wives, Rowbotham’s arguments feel both provocative and immediate, calling into question some of the sacred cows of 21st-century pop feminism. So I called three of my favorite young feminist writers, Laurie Penny, Reni Eddo-Lodge, and Jacob Tobia, to talk about what we might learn from Rowbotham’s work today — from the new wave of feminist consciousness raised (sometimes painfully) over social media, to the problem with measuring gender equality in the bank account balances of America’s richest women.

–Rachel Hills

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Frederic Lewis / Hulton Archive / Getty Images

Reni Eddo-Lodge (London journalist on race, gender, and social justice): One thing that Rowbotham talks about in the book is the development of a new feminist consciousness that was happening in the early 1970s. She says, “Now we are like babes thrashing around in darkness and unexplored space. The creation of an alternative world and an alternative culture cannot be the work of a day … theoretical consistency is difficult, often it comes out as dogmatism.” It reminded me of some of the battles going on in feminism as the moment. It feels like a lot of kinks and creases and sticking points are being painfully ironed out and tugged at, in a massive community of people who have different ideas about what it means to imagine a better future, even though they are all broadly left of center. Currently, some U.K. feminists are trying to have a debate on trans people’s right to exist, which is very disturbing.

Jacob Tobia (genderqueer media maker and LGBT business consultant): There are times when I think that the internet has made the sticking points of feminism (i.e., trans issues, racial justice, pro-sex vs. anti-sex, etc.) much stickier, as the controversy around Patricia Arquette’s comments at the Oscars demonstrates. Arquette used her Oscars speech to advocate on behalf of wage equality for women, later adding that “it’s time for all the women in America and all the men that love women, and all the gay people and all the people of color that we’ve all fought for to fight for us now.” The feminist blogosphere erupted with voices telling Arquette where she got it wrong — that women of color and LGBT people have been fighting for women’s equality for generations.

Rachel Hills (feminist journalist, author of The Sex Myth): Yes. I’m still on the fence on whether fourth-wave feminism is a “thing,” but if it is, I think it is characterized mainly by a diversification of the types of stories and experiences we hear about when we talk about what it means to be a “woman.” White, middle-class cis women (like me) don’t get to hog the microphone anymore. That’s tremendously exciting in terms of the conversations we’re having with each other, but it also means that there are a lot of arguments happening about what it means to be a “good feminist.” If there are competing versions of reality, it is because we are all living different realities. Take the recent dust-up over Jessica Williams’ disinterest in taking Jon Stewart’s hosting job at The Daily Show. It is true that many women experience a lack of confidence that makes them less likely to put themselves forward for jobs they are perfectly qualified for. But while that might be true in the general, it was not true in the case of Jessica Williams, and the assumption that she didn’t know her own ambitions was misplaced.

Reni: We live with a lot of contradictions. Sometimes I think life would be easier if I were a status quo-loving Tory.

Laurie Penny (author, journalist, Nieman fellow at Harvard University): I think within feminism, as within nerd culture, a lot of the pain comes from the feeling that you are already part of a special circle of people who feel marginalized, and feel like they’re creating an alternative community. To have someone then come into that group and tell you that that you yourself are engaged in marginalization and exclusion, that creates existential crisis. It’s profoundly upsetting.

Reni: So, what does this mean for the “new consciousness,” as Sheila calls it? I would like to see the better future we’re all imagining to be open minded rather than falling into dogmatism.

Jacob: I think that in order to get there, we have to change the ways that we engage with one another online. We have to find ways to be more considerate and constructive in our feedback if we are to really build a new feminist consciousness of any sort. When feminists yell at each other IRL, sometimes that can be productive. But when we yell at each other online, I rarely find that it’s working toward a new collective consciousness.

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FPG / Getty Images

Rachel: Laurie, I want to go back to a point that you made at the beginning of our conversation. You said, “I feel like the discussion of labor, what does and does not constitute labor and how it should be divided, are the great taboo in modern feminist thought.”

Laurie: So, right from the start Rowbotham challenges the notion that liberation means shoehorning more women into male modes of production.

Jacob: Yes! And that is so important!

Laurie: The idea that “equal pay” is where it starts and ends is kinda where mainstream feminism ended up in the 1990s. You’ve got the right to be equally exploited, now shut up and get to work. It’s no accident that this idea is just starting to be challenged again right now as a new generation is discovering that work does not equal liberation.

Jacob: I think that feminism has lost that sense, at least in a mainstream cultural capacity. Mainstream cultural feminism is epitomized in demands for equal pay, for the ability to “play like the boys.”

Laurie: I think the challenge to “work” itself is the most radical thing in this book.

Rachel: Yes, as a non-Marxist I found it very eye-opening. In particular, how she talks about labor under capitalism in terms of exchanging your LIFE for money. At one point she writes, “The money represents the measure of the time and possibility which has been subtracted from his life. Time is the measure of what he has lost, money represents the measure of what he is allowed.” It’s powerful stuff.

Jacob: I think what we’ve seen in recent years is a real constriction of the imagination of mainstream feminism. Mainstream feminism means becoming Oprah, Beyoncé, or Sheryl Sandberg — the accumulation of wealth is how you demonstrate your equality.

Reni: Don’t get me wrong. It costs money just to stand still these days. I can understand why those of us who don’t have much money dream of it setting us free.

Jacob: I love Beyoncé and Oprah as much as anyone else, but they only represent one vein of feminist thought and analysis, and that type of feminism has definitely been elevated in pop culture over other, more politically challenging forms of feminism.

Rachel: How do you think feminism could incorporate a better class analysis? And what is stopping us from doing that? Is it just that class isn’t sexy? Or perhaps more pertinently, not profitable?

Jacob: It doesn’t work with the “keeping up with the men” mentality of modern pop feminism.

Laurie: It’s partly about who gets to speak and define the conversation. Mainstream feminist discussion has been dominated by wealthy white Western women, mainly straight and cis, who are financially secure and who are able to employ less privileged women to do menial work on their behalf, talking about those parts of gender oppression which affect them. (And those issues are important too.) But class is actually part of the root gender oppression, so it affects everyone, including the 1%.

Reni: I wrote an article a few months back about the domestic labor gender divide. Women are still doing twice as much housework as men, shouldering the majority of a shared burden. The response I got reminded me that housework as a feminist issue doesn’t get much airtime.

Jacob: I think what is really interesting is that we are in some ways replacing what used to be a gendered divide between workers and homemakers with a class-race divide between business people and domestic workers. Like, modern women who are “equal” to men and are able to maintain families and such often do so at the expense of other low-wage workers of color raising their children and cleaning their homes.

Laurie: Yes. That’s the entire message of “having it all” feminism. Lean In is predicated on the notion that you’ll also be leaning ON immigrant women, women of color, and poor women.

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Rachel: Does domestic work HAVE to be a shitty job, or is the problem just that it’s not valued in our society?

Reni: It’s just not valued. Cis men still aren’t taught that keeping the home they live in clean and livable is their responsibility.

Jacob: And not only are they taught that it’s not their responsibility. They’re also taught that it’s not VALUABLE. They’re taught that it is silly, unimportant work.

Reni: YES, Jacob. One good thing that Sheila says in the book is how husbands return home and see all the housework that hasn’t been done.

Rachel: What is the solution here? Is it to pay domestic workers more money? To get men to do more domestic work so that it doesn’t need to be bought and sold?

Laurie: I’d say universal basic income, socialized medicine and child care, and a complete re-evaluation of what constitutes labor. As a list of preliminary demands. I think it’s also going to involve talking about misery. About depression and exhaustion and how shitty it is to have to earn money. Talking about anger and depression is not sexy feminism, but it is important.

Reni: I often imagine what a world without compulsory work would look like. I still can’t conceptualise it.

Rachel: True, but non-sexy feminism has been put on the agenda before. Domestic violence is not at all sexy, but it is a big media issue in Australia at the moment, where I grew up, and that’s mostly down to one writer, Clementine Ford, writing about it again and again and again. Rape culture involves sex, technically, but it’s not sexy either — and it’s a massive part of the feminist agenda now.

Laurie: Hey, I happen to think total reorganization of the wage labor system is sexy as hell.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelhills/the-1970s-feminist-who-warned-against-leaning-in