#and the woman in the aisle seat was also super nice to me. so it all balances out i think.

[lakecoded]

most harrowing airport experience survived

[cottoncandyruby]

I was gonna do more lil updates for MythiCon but the journey here has been so tumultuous all I’ve wanted to do is sleep and scream 😂

I forgot how to do read more on tumblr so just scroll by if ya don’t wanna read aha

"Anticaption, Aviation & Allergies"

Part 1. A little trip to Dublin

Of course the shortest part of my trip would be the easiest. So my mum and I were up at 3 am got a very expensive taxi, cos there were no trains, to the closest airport. Lingered there until our flight left at 8. I was so excited even though I’ve been on a plane before when I was small, I had no sensory memory of it or anything so the sensation of flying was like woo.

Tis a very short flight to Dublin, like an hour and I had a window seat so the absolute dream 😍. (Also that's like the only picture I took because I forget to take pictures)

Part 2. Dublin to New York

So we had to chill in the airport for 4 ish hours, we shared some BK chips cos airport food is overpriced lol. Anyways, it all chill until we get called to the lil reception people by the gate and they wanna look at our info and we don't know why or what the issue is. We booked this trip through booking.com but it is unclear what info actually went through lmao. They change something on our tickets and we get moved seats (?) And then it's all fine.

We end up talking to this Irish lady who travels for work and tell her about our super fun New York layover; it's 14 hours, we were very excited that we could go explore New York in the later afternoon/evening cos the only thing we anticipated doing was attending MythiCon. The lady's like "Oh....14 hours" with an obvious, "honey something went wrong" face.

Part 3. The New York Flight

We get on the plane to New York and we are on the exit row where you have to verbally confirm that in an emergency you will be able to open the door and help people get out, no pressure right?! I am on the aisle seat, my mum the middle and our new friend Steven(?) is in the window seat.

This flight lasts 7 hours and I spend the entire time reading the first LotR book cos I can't hear Steven for shit, airplanes are loud y'all, and avoiding eyecontact with bathroom users who are queuing up in front of us cos the loo is directly opposite. I made the mistake of wearing, what i used to call, my comfy jeans and I'm a big girl with some thicc thighs and oof ma legs had no circulation.

Steven talks my mums ear off for near 6 of the 7 hours in which she sparingly looks at me for ways out of the conversation or for me to join in, and I genuinely cannot hear him but also the whole ordeal is hilarious to watch. Except Steven thought we were a couple and I am realising I will have to spend the whole of MythiCon reinstating that I am travelling with my mum not my partner. Gosh.

Part 4. Newark, not New York

We arrive and Frodo, Sam, Pippin and Merry have just left Tom Bombadil and we realise we are not getting out of this airport. We retrieve our bags, my suitcase is slightly broken and won't stand up properly but we move. A very nice woman informs us we won't be able to store our luggage anywhere and that our flight which leaves at 6 am, we arrive at 4pm in New York by the way, won't be open for check-in until 3.30 am.

So, we must keep our luggage with us at all times and journeying into New York is suddenly much less appealing. I am also internally reeling from the disappointment of not going up the Empire State Building which was something I thought my mum had booked but no. Anyways, I don't wanna walk around New York with my suitcase but the other big issue besides the prospect of sleeping in the airport is Mielle Rosemary and Mint Hair Oil.

Here be some context before I continue:

I am biracial. My mama's white and I have no connection to my relatives of colour wherever they may be. So, despite being black I have lived a very white experience (still had the racism and all the shit but anyways) for y'all readers of colour or informed folx, you will know afro hair requires different products and care to white hair. I have slowly become aware of this over the last 5 or so years. I have never had a protective style and the town over from me is more diverse than where I live and has afro hair salons. So, I boldly book in for Goddess Locs cos I'm Jamaican and they look pretty and why not spice things up before going on a 33 hour flight?

Unlike as specified in the booking information for this hair it is not 30 minutes but 8 hours and not 55 quid but 85 and its this very rude 19 year old doing my hair. She puts some spray on and recommends I put hair oil on to keep my scalp hydrated. This is the Sunday before we leave. We get the flight to Dublin on the following Wednesday morning.

On Monday, I purchase the aforementioned hair oil. My hair feels a little itchy and I cannot tell if it is mild discomfort because of the weight of the locs or the spray she's used. So on the Tuesday night my mum liberally applies the hair oil across my entire scalp, a lil bit runs down my back across my face etc.

I wake up Wednesday morning, it still itchy.

....

We do the Dublin flight, the New York flight and when we land in Newark I am starting to feel very sick and my head feels warm to the touch. It could be from lack of sleep but fainting is imminent so we take the AirTrain to Penn Station and purchase some antihistamines. We see a sign for Madison Square Garden and head back to the airport.

We awkwardly finagle ourselves into a bathroom stall with our suitcases and my mum gets some nail scissors out from her suitcase and cuts my 85 pound hair off of my head. My scalp and more clearly my hairline is covered in bumps. I dont have phobias well except arachnophobia but hives and bumps make me feel sick. So I could not touch my head and boy I wanna scream and cry, I know that I must look as awful as I feel.

We remain in the airport til our flight, I get no sleep, my mum dozes off awkwardly on the chairs and my head gradually stops hurting but is still hot and itchy. The nausea abates over time.

Part 5. New York to Austin

Flight is smooth, my mum sleeps the whole way and I listen to music and half watch ParaNorman with no sound on cos I'm a multitasker.

Our flight is early, and we had booked a driver (which felt so posh) and Austin airport is lovely looking I must say. Anyways, our flight is an hour early so we sit in the pick up bit for am hour gettin chilly. Our driver arrives when he was scheduled to around 10.30 and says he'd been waiting for ages because he saw the flight was updated. Immediately felt guilty aha but he was nice. My mum woke up with a headache so I'm doin most of the talking.

The drive to the hotel is exciting, we passed by so many beautiful houses. Its so much more colourful than I thought, not that I had a whole bucket of ideas about Texas' aesthetic.

The hotel is tall, brown ish and angular. Inside its kind of intimidating but to the right of the entrance my eye catches this big sign for MythiCon and they've got a little reception area fashioned with all the merch Mythical Beasts get when they arrive which I'll post pictures of separately but it's lovely looking. The posters are huge and I fear they will be crumpled on the way back but c'est la vie.

We go to reception after being armed with Mythical Merch and they have shuttle buses runnin' to and from Stat Hill Ranch so my mum and I make a mental note to catch the earliest one which is at 2.30pm today ahhhh.

Anyways reception. Everything's going fine, despite my email the dude respects my chosen name which is very satisfying after being called ma'am several times awoke the gender angst in me. He asks for a small deposit of 225 bucks.

Side note - My mum and I are bad with money. We know she'll have got paid Friday morning for work and that that will cover Mythicon expenses. By the time we get to the hotel, we only have 100 dollars.

My mum calls my nan, I message my best friend, who graciously send us the money and 30 minutes later we are through. Check in was advertised at 4pm (it's around 11 ish when we arrive) but one moment of good luck allows us a room early. He might've just pitied us I don't know. I hate money, I hate capitalism. I know im saying this after having spent so much to just get here but that wasn't even money we had and it feels like we're being reminded of how we don't deserve to be here I don't know. It was very humbling anyways, and I could tell my mum wanted to cry and I was ready to zone out but it got sorted.

We get into the room, I'll share some pictures later cos it is nice in here. I go into the bathroom and do what I usually wind up doing when I hold stuff in and start to cry, a bit from the malaise of travelling its been over 24 hours and I've not slept, a lot from the continuous bad luck, and the rest for the renewed discomfort of the hair oil on my head.

The mirror confirms one thing which is I look abysmal. The product she used on my hair has fried and looks like dandruff, my skin is blotchy, and it's a big oof. I get in the shower to wash out the oil...consequently, I wash it onto my skin and the rest of my body. I bawl whilst doing so.

My hair starts to cool as I dry off but my body starts to swell. My already thicc thighs be getting thiccer, my hands and feet swell. My body, limbs specifically have a veneer of numbness like when you fall asleep on your arm and it takes a while to get any feeling back. It's a bit concerning but I take another antihistamine and finally sleep.

We had planned on exploring last night but we did not go anywhere beyond our room.

Part 6. Fog and Furtive (?) Optimism

Today the bumps on my head feel smoother, I'm still swollen but less so and I am very thirsty. It has been a heck of a journey but if it is the price to pay to see Rhett and Link up close and personal I'll do it.

But I had to rant and feel sorry for myself on the internet first.

If you read this to the end I would like to both thank you and apologise. I am manifesting that things will only get better from here.

This weekend is gonna be Mythical!

[psychoticwillgraham]

so, the memorial service today? it went great, except for a group of like 10 assholes who pulled a seat from in front of me into the aisle for another guest of theirs so everyone walking had to pretty much knock up against me, who also pissed my mom off. we all got candles, right? well, they were the ones on our side who had to start lighting our side of the room’s candles. so they did everyone behind us, right? so of course they’d then go to me since I’m sitting right next to the woman who started the lighting, right? well, no lol. she took one look at me, gave me the nastiest look she could (and so did the woman next to her), and got up and lit the candles of the row in front of us and top right of us, completely ignoring us. So all three of us are like ‘wtf??’ so I look around at ppl around me and am making gestures like ‘hey please light mine’, so finally one guy two rows back on the side gets up and is super nice to me and says ‘here you go man!’ so that was that I guess.

but when we all went to go get cookies in the other room afterwards, people kept staring at me and scoffing when they heard me talk because I sound really ‘gay’ like the stereotypical ‘flamboyant gay’ voice and meh whatever fuck off you can just grab your damn cookie and go. but like, imagine being so much of a bigot that you blatantly do that (the candle thing) at a memorial service for lost loved ones?? really fuckin low and inappropriate but im not surprised considering this town tbh

[sariahsue]

Footsteps

Marinette’s about to get married to her soulmate, a man she’s never met before. Too bad she meets that cute groomsman in the hallway first. Rated G. 4,000 words.

***

Marinette bunched the white lace of her train into her fists and walked faster, eyes searching the empty marble hallway. Just keep walking. She could get through today. One foot in front of the other.

All she needed was some fresh air. She thought a building as enormous as this one would have at least one window that she could open. Instead, sunlight streamed through vaulted arches taller than the bakery she'd lived in her whole life, mocking her.

Marinette poked her head around a corner into a side hallway, saw nothing but closed doors, expensive paintings (that couldn't be an actual van Gogh, right?), and a plush white rug, and walked past.

All she needed was a few quick breaths, a little bit of air to cool off her flushed face, and a few minutes away from her hovering family and bridesmaids so she could pull herself together. And then she would get right back.

How big was this building? Each hallway she looked down offered a new way to get lost, with smaller hallways coming off of the side hallways and as many doors as there had been guests and staff just an hour ago. She gripped her train harder. Staff that had disappeared to the banquet hall to set up for the reception. Guests that were nowhere in sight because they were being seated in the chapel right now.

A door snapped shut somewhere behind her, and she whirled around, her heart in her mouth at having been caught, but no one was there. Her eyes traced crystal vases on marble tables only put there to break up the vast space the building contained. Nothing moved. And nothing looked familiar.

Can I even find my way back now? 

It was a problem she would have to deal with later. She didn't have the capacity for one more thing to go wrong right now, so she marched forward to continue her quest.

Her heels click-clicked as she walked across the polished floor, and she could have sworn she heard the door closing once again.

The shoes were going to give her away. With shaking fingers, she reached down and unstrapped them. They swung from her hands as she kept going.

Just a few days ago, Marinette had been so excited to finally meet her soulmate and get married. Why had the feeling deserted her today?

She knew the answer. All week it had been building, but now that the day was here, the swirling anxiety that had been simmering below the surface of her joy just couldn't be ignored any longer.

Most people gave themselves a few weeks or at least a few days after meeting their soulmate to get married, but her husband-to-be, Adrien, had insisted on being "traditional." No seeing each other until the wedding. She hadn't even talked to him on the phone yet. They would fall in love at first sight, as she walked down the aisle. If she'd met him before, maybe right now she wouldn't be so-

Marinette bumped into a glass-topped side table, sending the empty crystal vase on top tilting dangerously. Dropping her train, she managed to grab it before anything smashed. She stood there, frozen, listening, waiting to see if anyone would scold her, but no one was around. With a whispered "Sorry!" at the vase, she put it back in its place and kept searching through the maze of hallways.

It must have cost a fortune to rent this humongous mansion for the day. A new worry stuck in her throat. I'm not going to be able to fit in with my husband's family, am I?  Adrien would love her completely. That's just how it worked. But what if her in-laws hated her because her parents weren't rich too?

Her panic spiral was halted by the sight of a familiar blue rug pattern in one of the side hallways. Marinette made her way over, window quest forgotten, and she tripped over her dress the whole way there.

The long, white walls were filled with paintings of fruit and flowers, like the ones she used to make in art class (but with lighting skills so good it made her want to cry), and no… she hadn't been down this way before. Even as upset as she was, the artist in her would have remembered.

Marinette took a few seconds too long to glare at an apple, and by the time she heard the whispering, it was far too late for her to hide.

"Sneaking," a male voice whispered.

Marinette turned toward the voice. Had someone seen her? Did someone know she was roaming the building alone? She saw no one. And she saw nowhere she could quickly hide.

A few feet in front of her, the hallway turned a corner and continued out of sight. Some of the hallways had been like that, leading to more corridors and rooms that she hadn't bothered to explore. The footsteps came closer.

"Sneaking around the corner."

If she held very still, maybe he wouldn't notice? She walked backwards and pressed into the white wall, the fabric of her dress rustling loudly with every step, every breath she took.

His shoes squeaked as a hunched figure came into view.

"I'm not sneaking!" Marinette blurted out as soon as she saw him.

He jerked up straight.

She noticed three things instantly. He was blond. He was holding his hands around his eyes, like binoculars or a mask, and he was in the nicest tuxedo she had ever seen.

The man was also quite a bit taller than her, but he still jumped back in alarm when he saw her, and finally lowered his hands. Brilliant green eyes went from shocked to soft and warm and inviting.

"S-sorry," he finally said. "I was the one sneaking around. No worries."

"Oh," Marinette said, heart beating in her throat. "Right. I wasn't sneaking."

He smiled, and Marinette was glad she was already leaning against a wall. He had to be the single most beautiful human being she'd ever met her in life.

"Um, nice to meet you?" he said. When he held out a hand to shake, she quickly took it. His hand was soft and gentle and warm. No ring on either hand that she could see. Gorgeous and single!

Guilt swept through her, making her drop his hand. Here she was, getting married in literally a few minutes and ogling someone else. But he was still smiling at her. No, she had to stop thinking like a single woman. But he was so pretty.

"Of course. So, uh," He looked down at her dress. "You must be the bride, huh? Marinette? Nice to meet you."

Sweat prickled on the back of her neck. Judging by his outfit, she'd just been caught by a member of the groom's wedding party, a groomsman or a family member. Would he tell her future husband that she was out here getting cold feet? Not that it wasn't true, but she didn't want her soulmate to know about it.

"And you are?" she asked, hoping to divert attention away from herself. "One of the wedding party, right?"

"Yeah," he whispered and reached for her hand again. "I am. I was out here looking for you. I'm A-"

She shrank back. No matter how much she wanted to, she shouldn't be thinking about him this way. She was getting married to someone else.

The man dropped his hand quickly, eyes roaming her face, like he was looking for what he had done wrong. When he couldn't find anything, he ran his fingers through his hair and stammered out an apology. Marinette watched each lock fall back into place, the light catching each strand and making him glow.

"I'm-" he tried again, a blush rising in his cheeks. "Ni- W-winston."

"Winston?" Marinette couldn't help but laugh a little. That was the least French-sounding name she'd ever heard.

"Winston the groomsman," he said, not looking at her. "Yes, old family name. My father's name, and his father's name, and I think I have an old uncle. Because we're British way back there somewhere on my mother's side-"

"Nice to meet you, 'Winston.'" It was apparent he was nervous, and she didn't want him to feel uncomfortable, so she changed the subject. "What are you doing out here? You were looking for me?"

"Um." He looked around the hallway for inspiration, and Marinette immediately regretted her question as she watched his discomfort grow.

"I- He- The groom wanted to meet you before the wedding," Winston confessed.

"He did?"

"Yeah, he wanted to break tradition and see you, but Fa- his father is stifling stick in the mud."

"Yeah?" The knowledge was somehow both comforting and unsettling. She and her future husband had both wanted to meet first, but her father-in-law… she wasn't going to fit in.

"Yeah," he breathed. "He can't wait to meet you. But he couldn't get away, so I thought I'd come out here. And, wow, he's going to love you. You're amazing."

Marinette flushed at the compliment. "Isn't that how it's supposed to work? Love and first sight and everything?"

"Sure," Winston said, "but you know what I mean."

In the distance, an organ started playing softly, but Marinette barely heard it. This man would go through all that trouble for a friend of his? He was so kind, and she was going gooey under his intense gaze.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked quietly.

Just like that, the glow was gone. Would he believe the truth, that she was just hoping for some fresh air? He might be sympathetic. But he might not be. Who would feel sorry for a bride on her wedding day?

"I was… looking for the bathroom and got super lost." She adjusted her skirt with one hand to give herself something to do and then laughed nervously. "This place is such a maze."

Winston didn't answer right away. He studied the train of her dress, mouth a thin line of disappointment. Her shoes dangled from her loose fingers as she waited, and she adjusted her grip.

"You don't have to get married today, you know," he said. "You can call it off."

Marinette squirmed at how perceptive he was - or maybe she was just obvious - and pushed her hair out of her eyes. When it fell back into place, Winston reached out to tuck it behind her ear but stopped himself. His hand hung there awkwardly between them until he let it slowly fall.

"It's okay to be nervous," he said. "I know lots of people who didn't go through with their weddings. Loads."

Marinette smiled at the lie, grateful he was trying in spite of everything, though she was still a little worried he was going to tell Adrien about this conversation, or that word would somehow get to her future in-laws. She wasn't sure which would have been worse, giving her in-laws ammunition or disappointing Adrien.

"No, I really did get lost," she said. "I didn't mean to get all the way over here." And to make it sound convincing, she added, "Do you know the way back?"

"I can walk you." Adrien stood up straight, his smile returning.

"Oh, you don't have to," Marinette said quickly. There might still be a chance for her to find a window and that breath of fresh air she'd been hoping for.

"I insist." Winston held out an arm for her, and like the idiot she was, she eagerly took it. His free hand settled over hers, and they began to walk.

Her heels swung from her other hand, and without their added inches, the difference in their height was ludicrous. But Winston didn't comment on it, just matched her pace without making her feel rushed.

Together, they left the small hallway and stepped back into the still deserted main hallway. Sunlight poured through the windows, reflecting off the gleaming floors and sparkling crystal chandeliers high above. Winston's hand on hers was comforting, and he was so sweet to help her, but now there was no chance for her to get away.

Feebly, she said, "I think I recognize this part now. You can get back."

"Oh, they won't miss me," Winston said. "I'll make sure you get back safe. Is there anything else you need?"

Marinette sighed. As kind as he was handsome, and she hoped he never removed his hand from hers. Why did he have to be so nice and gentle?

After several more turns, she really did start to recognize things. How had she wandered so far? Her family must have been worried by now.

Marinette didn't bother to escape from him again, and Winston didn't let go of her, even when they stopped in front of the bride's room with its white and blank, gleaming, bronze plaque.

"I can't wait to see you coming down the aisle in a few minutes," Winston said. He lowered his arm, and her hand slipped away from his sleeve. She felt the loss of his touch immediately. "I mean, if you still want to," he added quickly.

"I'll be fine," she squeaked. "Thanks."

"Okay," he said, waving goodbye without moving away. "Great. See you."

Yup. He was definitely the most adorable, sweet, and beautiful man she'd ever met. "Why couldn't I be marrying this guy?"

Winston took a step back. "What?"

Huh? She'd said that out loud? She'd said that out loud! 

Fumbling for the handle behind her, Marinette said a hasty goodbye and launched herself through the door and slammed it shut without looking at his expression. What was she supposed to do now?

"Girl, where have you been?"

In seconds, Alya, Sabine, and Tom were gathered around her. Marinette leaned her back against the cool door, wondering if Winston was still staring at the spot where she'd been standing.

"Are you all right?" her father asked.

"Just needed some fresh air," Marinette said, staring at their shoes. "Then I got lost. Have you seen this place?"

"Marinette," Sabine said, lifting her daughter's chin with one soft hand. "You can tell us the truth."

The tension in Marinette's body all came out in a rush. Her shoulders slumped, and she slid down the door two inches.

Tom brought over a chair, and Marinette tried to sit down, only to find that her dress was caught in the door. What else could go wrong today? Without peeking into the hallway, she opened the door and removed her train - to her relief, it didn't look like she'd ripped it - and then collapsed into the chair.

"It's okay to be nervous," Sabine said.

Marinette nodded, though that wasn't the entire problem anymore. She was supposed to be marrying a friend of "Winston's" in a few minutes, maybe his best friend or even his brother. He would be standing there, witnessing her marriage, knowing what she'd just said. How was she supposed to show her face out there now?

Her parents and Alya doted on her, trying to put her fears at ease, but it was only making everything worse. She couldn't ignore her anxiety while everyone was talking about it. They flitted around the small room, fetching her water, guiding her to sit down in front of the triple mirror vanity, offering to brush her hair out. "That always calmed you down when you were little," Sabine said.

Marinette nodded.

"If it makes you feel better," Tom said, "I'm sure he's just as nervous as you are. I was nervous, too."

"Everyone expects you to be a little anxious." Sabine picked up the bristle brush while Marinette avoided looking at herself in the mirror. "You're marrying someone without ever having met him. That's terrifying. But you're going to be okay."

Marinette nodded again, dumbly. They waited for her to say something, respond with her usual cheerful attitude, and when she didn't, Alya jumped in.

"Sabine, didn't you get married and move to France at the same time?"

All four of them knew the story. Marinette had grown up hearing it, had loved hearing her parents' own love story.

"I found out my soulmate's name two days after my twenty second birthday," she said. Marinette could almost mouth the words along with her mother, they were so familiar. "I couldn't believe he was so far away. I started teaching myself French almost immediately, but the first time we got on the phone to speak to each other, all I could say was hello!"

A tug on Marinette's scalp told her that Sabine had found a small knot. She set the brush down and started to pick at it with her fingers.

"I moved away from home to a strange country, and was learning a new language, and was nervous about meeting my soulmate, but as soon as I saw him, it didn't matter," Sabine said. "You're going to be fine. As soon as you see him, you'll love him, and everything will be okay."

"I know all that," Marinette said. "But I'm scared now!" Not to mention distracted by "Winston," and the crushing guilt that reminded her she shouldn't be.

"Well," her father cut in. "What do you want to do about it, Marinette? Do you feel like we should wait a little bit?"

"Yeah," Alya added. "We can tell them there's something wrong with your dress or whatever if you need a few more minutes."

"I'm sure Adrien would understand," Sabine said. "He seemed very kind when we talked to him."

A few more minutes sounded wonderful, a chance to collect herself, do delay the inevitable. Or a chance for her anxiety to get worse. She took a deep breath. "No, let's just get this over with."

"Very convincing." Alya picked her clutch up off the vanity and started fishing around inside it. "You sound so pumped. Let me just text Adrien." Alya pulled out her phone.

"No," Marinette said, covering the phone with one hand. Her fake nails clicked on the screen.

"Waiting's not going to make it easier. I don't need any more time to worry. It's like you said, when I see him, everything will be fine. So let's just so see him. I want to see him."

"All right." Alya dropped her phone onto the table and grabbed the eye shadow. "Come here, then."

Marinette sat as still as she could while Sabine finished her hair and Alya did her makeup and Tom hovered around, asking what he should do to make her feel more comfortable. When they didn't give him any ideas, he started telling funny stories from Marinette's baby days.

Marinette only half listened, making sure to smile when someone else laughed. Maybe Winston had asked "What?" because he hadn't heard what she'd said. She had said it quietly, after all. That was logical.

Eventually, Tom had to leave the room to check on how things were progressing. Marinette missed his voice and his stories. The silence was too easy for her anxious mind to fill.

If she could just make it a few more minutes, if she could just make it to the altar, then she'd fall in love with her soulmate at first sight and everything would be great. No more worrying. No more wondering.

The final piece of her outfit, her veil, was laid out neatly on the flower-print sofa, waiting for her. When Alya declared her face perfect and Sabine could find no hair out of place, Marinette strapped her heels back on and stood, knees shaking, and retrieved her veil. She seemed like another woman in the mirror as she watched herself put it on.

Marinette did want to meet Adrien. She did. A few days ago, she'd felt excited. Just his name was enough to put a smile on her face. Her parents had met him, and she'd devoured every detail of him they could give her. Elation had bubbled through her chest as she had designed her wedding dress. It had taken weeks to finish simply because she was having so much fun designing it that she hadn't wanted to stop. If she could remember what it had felt like then, maybe she could recreate the feelings now.

The door creaked as it opened, and Tom walked back in. "It's time," he said, extending his arm for her.

Marinette plastered a smile onto her trembling lips and leaned on his arm to compensate for the weakness in her knees. No one else needed to know about her struggle, least of all Adrien.

The walk down the hallway to the chapel didn't take as long as Marinette thought that it should have. The organ music was too loud, but still not loud enough to drown out the breathing and whispers of a room full of hundreds of people, everyone who was ever important to her, and more that she would get to know well in her lifetime as Adrien's wife.

The processional song began to play, and Marinette walked in, staring at the pink petals on the carpet in front of her. Pews creaked and fabric rustled as everyone stood for her. And she kept her face down.

Don't make eye contact with the groomsmen. You're getting married to Adrien, so don't look for adorable "Winston."

Marinette forced her face up, searching out the people she knew. For her bridesmaids and Alya, her mother in the front row. Her school friends throughout the year, aunts and uncles who had flown from all over the world. A few held tissues, some waved at her. They were all smiling.

Everyone was smiling except for her.

She should be looking at her new husband - her soulmate - for the first time. He was probably looking at her. Had he already fallen for her? Was he wondering why she wasn't looking at him?

That curiosity was nothing compared to how much she wanted to look for the man she'd met in the hallway. There was something seriously wrong about that. It went beyond the guilt that she felt. It was a strangeness in the situation that she didn't have time to think about.

The line of petals thinned and disappeared halfway to the altar, and the organ music swelled.

The temptation was too great. Marinette raised her eyes, looking at the groomsmen first, looking for the friend that shouldn't have liked as much as she did. Because she was marrying someone else, she reminded herself as she quickly scanned their faces. And because she had only known him for about two minutes. What was wrong with her?

Her gaze skimmed them all twice, three times, but Winston wasn't there. Her footsteps stuttered to a halt before taking a big step to match her father's long stride. The hand holding her bouquet started to sweat.

Could he not bear to watch her marrying someone else? No, that was ridiculous. He didn't feel the same way. He wasn't feeling torn like she was.

He had definitely been part of the wedding party. He'd said so. So who was he?

The carpet ended, and Marinette heels clicked on marble as realization clicked into place. He was part of the wedding party, but not one of the groomsmen, so that must have meant…

For the first time that day, her heart pounded from something other than anxiety.

Marinette held her head high and looked for him. And she found him. "Winston." It had been a ridiculous name anyway. Adrien suited him much better.

Adrien smiled broadly at her. That wonderful smile she first saw out in the hallway was now a hundred times brighter, focused solely on her. He had snuck out to see her, had so gently guided her back when she was lost, had made sure she was comfortable, and offered to call off the wedding.

No wonder she had liked him so much. Love at first sight, just like everyone said.

He reached out a hand for her as she took the last few steps to the altar. Marinette slid her fingers into his, and they fit perfectly.

"Hi, Winston," Marinette whispered as she nestled herself into his side. "Could the groom not get away again? Are you getting married for him too?"

"I said the groom was going to love you," he said. "And I was right."

The last notes of the organ faded away, and a hush settled over their friends and family. This was it. They stepped together up to the altar. The first step of their lives together.

***

Author's note: Merry Christmas! You're getting something completely un-Christmasy. Huge thank you to @ours-polaires, @khanofallorcs, @vivalasaturn, and @noirshitsuji for reading over my outline of this and making sure everything made sense!

[4stars-uswnt]

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes [Tierna Davidson x Reader]

requested by anon: Idk if you’re taking requests or not but could you do a tierna x reader where reader’s kinda reserved and the team doesn’t know her super well but her and baby t just bond together and one gets the courage to ask the other out. And maybe they like hide their relationship just to mess with the team or something cause they were trying to set them up. If not then it’s perfectly fine. You’re a great writer!!

A/N: thanks anon! i honestly don’t know how this got so long... oops

You hesitantly make your way down the aisle of the bus, unsure where to seat, given that this was only your fourth camp and you didn’t necessarily have a designated seat.

Spotting an empty spot next to Tierna, you sheepishly ask, “Hey, is anyone sitting here?”

“Nope,” she gives you a kind smile, glancing up from her phone. “Go ahead.”

“Thanks,” you mumble, a small smile of your own tugging at your lips.

As you’re putting in your ear buds and turning on your music, Tierna curiously watches you. “So how you liking the team so far?”

“I love it. It’s honestly better than I could’ve imagined. Everyone here is so nice and welcoming and so willing to teach,” you ramble slightly nervously, scratching the back of your neck.

Ever since you’d gotten your first call up last year, your nerves hadn’t calmed down at all. You were a naturally reserved and quiet person, but being around the best players in the world only intensified your nervousness.

Given your shyness, none of your teammates knew that much about you. The only one who knew anything about, apart from your position, your hometown, and where you currently reside, was Alyssa. The veteran goalkeeper had taken you under her wing when you went pro at just nineteen and joined the Red Stars. The two of you immediately bonded, forming a sort of big sister-little sister relationship, as you were both so similar in the way you carried yourself on and off the field. So when you got your first national team call up, Alyssa was the one to show you the ropes and help you make the transition.

And although you played on the same NWSL team as Tierna, you’d never actually had a real conversation with the other woman, so neither of you knew each other at all.

“Yeah, it’s an incredible environment,” the defender agrees. “It really does become like one giant family.”

“Hopefully, I’ll stick around long enough to become a part of that.” You anxiously chew your lip. Being on the national team has been a dream of yours ever since you could remember, and now that you are presented with the opportunity, you were scared you were gonna do something to mess it up.

“I have a feeling you will,” Tierna muses, smirking. You can’t tell if she’s flirting with you or if she’s just being nice, but either way your face flushed red.

The three hour bus ride went by seemingly quick, as you and Tierna engaged in an easy flowing conversation, talking about topics ranging from the basic introductions to the incredible cinematography of The Queen’s Gambit.

You find yourself becoming increasingly comfortable and relaxed around the other woman, and you feel this is the start of a wonderful friendship.

—————

After a quick team meeting upon arriving to the hotel, Vlatko starts to announce roommates and distribute room keys.

“Tierna and (Y/N),” he calls out, giving Tierna two key cards.

“Looks like we’re roomies,” she beams, as she hands your key.

“Looks like it.” You grin, excited at the idea of spending more time with the defender.

Both of you were pretty tired, especially after a long day of traveling, so you each quickly jump in the shower and change into your pajamas.

As you slide into bed, Tierna, already under the covers, grabs the TV remote. “Anything you wanna watch?”

“I’m fine with anything.” You shrug, as you pull the blankets over your body. “Have you seen the docuseries on Netflix about the Challenger?” You ask, remembering her passion for space and aeronautics.

“I haven’t,” Tierna gasps. “Can we watch it?”

Your heart warms at the sight of her pure eagerness. “Of course! I’ve been meaning to watch it for a while too.”

You quickly set up your laptop, connecting it so that your screen projects onto the TV.

As the episode progresses, Tierna spits out additional facts about the Challenger as well as NASA itself, and you can’t help but listen in awe and admiration.

The two of you barely make it through two episodes, as the hours of travel catch up to you and sleep takes over.

—————

It was the last day of camp, and you and Tierna had grown quite close, bonding over being the youngest on the teams as well as your similar interests.

You’d discovered that, when not playing soccer of course, you both enjoyed going on hikes, reading with a cup of coffee, and also relaxing at the end of the day with a good TV series.

She’d also given you some insight on how she adjusted to being on the national team at such a young age, something you were having trouble doing. It’s not that your skill level wasn’t up to par; you were just finding it difficult to put yourself out there and connect with the rest of the women. And just maybe your newfound friendship with Tierna would be just what you needed to open up to the rest of the team.

Over the past couple of days, as you’d gotten to know the defender, you couldn’t develop feelings for the other woman.

So here you were, packing up your hotel room, as you worked up the courage to ask Tierna out. At the moment, the freckled woman was currently rambling about some new book she’d found, but you were to stuck in your own head to really pay attention.

“(Y/N)?” Tierna pulls you out of your thoughts.

“Huh?” You shake your head, turning to see an amused smile on Tierna’s face.

“Did you hear anything I was just saying?”

“Umm, yes?” You try sheepishly.

Tierna rolls her eyes. “Yeah, right. It’s alright. You can make it up to me by reading the book I was talking about. And by the way it’s about a depressed neuroscientist at Stanford.”

“Sounds peachy,” you groan, earning a chuckle from the defender.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Nothing,” you mumble, shrugging.

“Come on, what’s bothering you?” She asks, as she sits down next to you, lightly elbowing your side.

You take a deep breath, gathering all the courage in the world, before asking, “Would you maybe wanna go out sometime? Like grab some coffee or dinner when we’re back in Chicago?”

Tierna stills, her eyes widening, as her brain tries to process your question. “What?”

“I’m asking you on a date, T,” you clarify, feeling a new wave of confidence take over. “Do you wanna go out with me?”

A gigantic grin breaks out Tierna’s face. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

—————

About six months later, you’d received another national team call up, and so had your girlfriend.

After last camp, you and Tierna went out to dinner at a restaurant back in Chicago, and from then on, you began dating. It helped that you both played for the Red Stars, getting to spend more time together and not having to worry about the trouble of a long distance relationship.

However, the two of you decided to keep your relationship under wraps, not feeling the need to announce or flaunt it. In fact, in public, your relationship didn’t really change, and to most people, it looked as if the two of you were just best friends.

But Alyssa had known you well enough to see that you definitely had a crush on the younger defender, and to be fair, you did, but the goalie didn’t know that you were already dating.

The Red Stars training before the national team players left for camp, Alyssa decided to see if anyone else shared the same suspicions.

“Hey, J!” she calls out, catching up to the blonde midfielder.

“What’s up, Lys?”

“Do you think there’s something between (Y/N/N) and Tierna?”

“What do you mean?” Julie furrows her brows, confused.

Alyssa gives her friend a pointed glare, nodding her head in the direction of where you were leaning your head on Tierna’s shoulder, giggling at something your girlfriend had said.

“Ah, I see,” Julie muses, nodding her head in realization. “Are they together?”

“Nope, at least I don’t think so. I’m sure (Y/N) would’ve mentioned something.”

“Well, should we help them get their head’s out of the butts and try and set them up?” The midfielder proposes.

“Camp is this weekend…” Alyssa smirks, as the two women share a knowing look.

“Kelley’s gonna have a field day with this,” Julie chuckles.

—————

After morning training the next day, the team split off into groups, as they head into town to grab a bite to eat, do some shopping, or just walk around the streets of Santa Barbara.

A group of the veterans decided to try out a cute little cafe they’d seen. As they were all sitting around the table, sipping their coffee and eating some pastries, Julie decided to bring up the subject of their two favorite team babies.

“So, have you guys noticed anything going on between (Y/N) and Tierna?”

Conversation stopped, the entire table going silent.

“Wha?” Kelley asks, her voice muffled by the food in her mouth. “(Y/N/N) and Baby T?”

“Kel, please swallow your food,” Christen requests, cringing at the defender.

“Sorry.” The freckled woman gulps down her bite of her croissant. “But Tierna and (Y/N)?”

“You don’t see it?” Alyssa raises her eyebrow, surprised that she might be the only one who saw the chemistry between you two.

“Aren’t they just best friends?” Tobin chimes in on the conversation.

“That’s what people always said about you and Chris until they got their heads out of their asses,” Ash snorts, pointing between the two forwards.

“Fair point.”

“Now that I think about it,” Christen hums. “They do act very couple-y.”

“And Tierna is really the only one that (Y/N) hangs out with, besides Alyssa,” Pinoe points out, as the others nod in agreement.

“True, though she is warming up to the rest of us,” Julie lightly argues.

“So do we have a plan?”

The rest of the table just stares blankly at Kelley, who rolls her eyes.

“A plan to get them together?” She clarifies, as if to say ‘duh.’

“Well, that’s what I thought we could discuss.” The blonde midfielder suggests, sparking the discussion of how to get the two youngsters together.

Meanwhile, as the veterans were scheming, you and your girlfriend were taking a walk along the beach, your hands laced together, as your bare feet sunk into the sand.

“I hear you might start in the match versus England,” Tierna smirks at the shy blush that creeps up your neck.

You duck your head and brush a loose strand of hair of your face. “I don’t know. Our midfield is already so stacked, so I don’t know why Vlatko would start me.”

“Hey.” Tierna stops walking, stepping in front of you, halting your movement as well. “Don’t sell yourself short. You’re a phenomenal player, one of our best middies, at only twenty-one years old I might add.”

“You have to say that.” You bashfully roll your eyes. “You’re my girlfriend.”

“That I am,” Tierna proudly states, as she kisses your cheek. “But seriously, (Y/N/N), you’re amazing and you’re here for a reason. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“Thank you, babe.” You lean in to give her a chaste kiss before bringing her in for a hug.

The two of you decide to walk back up to the sidewalk and sit on one of the benches that overlook the beach. After a couple of minutes of peaceful silence, you remember something Alyssa had mentioned to you a couple days ago.

“I think Lys might know we’re dating.” You raise your head from your girlfriend’s chest to look up at her.

“Hm,” Tierna hums, not looking concerned or fazed, only curious. “Did she something to you?”

“The other day she asked me if I had feelings for you.” You snuggle back into your girlfriend’s body, comforted by the fact that she didn’t seem to be freaking out about the possibility of one of your teammates knowing. “Well actually, her exact words were: ‘Do you have a crush on Tierna?’”

“And what did you say?”

“I said ‘yes,’” you mumble, your cheeks tint pink.

“What was that?” Tierna teases.

“I told her ‘yes’ I have a crush on you.”

“Aw, babe,” she coos, tapping your nose. “I have a crush on you too.”

All you can do is scrunch your face and stick out your tongue at your girlfriend and her antics.

“Do you think we should tell the team we’re dating?”

“Words probably gotten around that you have feelings for me, and seeing how we’re ‘best friends,’ knowing them, they’re already probably devising a plan to get us together.” Tierna shrugs, lightly chuckling.

Though you hadn’t been on the team as long as the defender, you knew she was most likely right.

“Well, who are we to stop their fun?” You say with a small smirk on your face.

Your girlfriend raises her eyebrow at you, surprised by your uncharacteristic boldness and mischievousness.

“Whatever you say, babe.” Tierna softly kisses the top of your head.

The two of you spend the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other’s presence, the calm waves crashing in the background, before you have to return to the hotel for team dinner.

—————

As you and your girlfriend were off on a brief romantic walk, the rest of the team, who had been recruited by the Kelley, had been finalizing their plan to set you and Tierna up on a date, so you can confess your feelings.

“So,” Kelley, the leader of this operation, announces. “Tomorrow, when we have dinner off, Alyssa, you’ll ask (Y/N) if she wants to grab a bite to eat, and Casey and Abby, and whichever youngsters wanna tag along, will bring Tierna out to dinner.

“The rest of us will grab a table in the backroom so we can see them without being seen. Everybody got it?”

They all nod along, voicing their agreement.

“Awesome,” Ash cheers and claps her hand together. “What do you think Lys?”

“I think it’s good, hopefully it works.” Alyssa nods, quickly glancing at her phone. “I also think we better head back for dinner before Vlatko sends out a search party.”

The rest of the women check the time, their eyes widening, as they all scramble out of their seats, rushing to make it back in time for team dinner.

—————

The next day, at the end of training, many of your teammates, mainly Kelley and Sonnett, were anxious about their upcoming blind date they’d set up for you and Tierna.

“Gosh, I don’t know how I didn’t see it before,” Kelley groans dramatically, watching from across the field, as you and your girlfriend were leaning on each other, laughing at something you’d said.

“How can they be so oblivious?” Tobin shakes her head, following her friend’s gaze.

“That’s rich coming from you,” Megan snorts, as she approaches the two women.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Chris had heart eyes for you for like three years before you actually noticed.”

“That’s different,” Tobin protests, earning a laugh from her two teammates.

“It’s really not.” Kelley clasps the forward’s shoulder, giving her a sympathetic smile.

“But we’ve learned.” Pinoe boasts with a pointed look.

Tobin just tilts her head and furrows her head in confusion, not following along.

“Oh, Toby.” The freckled defender slings her arm around Tobin’s shoulder, as they make their way back to the bus. “After being tortured by you and Press’s oblivious pining for many many years, the team collectively decided that when two teammates develop obvious feelings for each other, we’d put our own dignities aside and get them together.”

“Hence, our dinner plans for Tierna and (Y/N),” Megan finishes.

“You guys are all crazy,” Tobin says with a light-hearted roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, but you love us,” Kelley chirps before skipping off to catch up with Alex on the bus, leaving the two forwards chuckling at their teammates playful behavior.

—————

After hopping out of the shower and getting dressed, you decide to text Tierna to see if she wants to grab some dinner.

(Y/N/N):

Hey, you wanna grab some dinner?

I think I saw a taqueria that looked good :)

T 🤍 :

Sorry, babe :/

Casey already asked me to get dinner with  Abby  and Sam.

(Y/N/N):

Aw man, okay.

Stop by after?

T 🤍 :

Of course

I’ll see you later :)

You give the message a heart, before shutting off your phone. As you contemplate what you’re gonna do for lunch, there’s a knock on your door.

“(Y/N/N),” you hear Alyssa’s muffled voice. “It’s Alyssa.”

“Come in!” You call back.

The goalie saunters into your room and plops on your bed. “You wanna grab some dinner?”

“Yeah,” you beam. “I saw a Mexican place downtown that looked good.”

“Hmmm, I had tacos for dinner last night,” Alyssa hums, pretending to think it over, even though she already has a restaurant in mind. “Tobin mentioned a good Japanese place they ate yesterday. We could try that?”

“I could go for Japanese,” you agree. “You wanna head out now?”

“Yeah, I’m down.” Alyssa jumps up from the bed, as you gather your things, following her out the door.

The two of you make light conversation, as you walk through the streets of Santa Barbara, enjoying the warm evening air.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, the hostess leads you to a table by the window, but as you sit down, Alyssa remains standing.

“I just have to run to the bathroom real quick,” she tells you. “If they come by to order drinks, could I get a lemonade?”

“Of course.” You nod, before scanning the menu.

While you think Alyssa is going to the restroom, she is actually going to text Casey that you’re sitting at the table near the window.

After a couple minutes, you hear footsteps approaching, which you think is the waitress coming to take your drink order.

“Hey, funny seeing you here.”

You immediately snap your head up when you hear your girlfriend’s voice.

“T, what are you doing here?” You ask, obviously quite surprised, as Tierna sits down in the chair across from you.

“Well, I was supposed to meet the girls here, and they just they’d be at the table by the window,” she chuckles amusedly. “Obviously our teammates are setting us up, not that I’m complaining.”

You roll your eyes at the teasing smirk on your girlfriend’s face. “Yeah, Lys brought me here for lunch. I didn’t think it was in her to be a part of their little matchmaking plans.”

“Alyssa is full of surprises.” Tierna shrugs, as she picks up the menu to look at it for herself.

“Aint’ that the truth,” you laugh.

As the two of you sit in a comfortable silence, deciding what you wanted to eat, you spot a familiar head of purple hair out of the corner of your eye.

“I think we’re being spied on,” you whisper, leaning forward in your seat.

“Huh?”

“Pinoe’s pink hair is a dead give away,” you slightly nod your head towards the back room of the restaurant.

Tierna turns her head to subtly scan the room, and then lets out an amused chuckle. “So how are we gonna play this?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, since they’re watching us, do we wanna play into their hands or should we mess with them a little?”

“We could do a little bit of both?” You propose, earning an impressed grin from your girlfriend.

Before Tierna can respond, the waitress comes by to take your orders.

—————

“What can you see?” Sonnett shouts from the other end of the table.

“Keep it down, Sonny,” Kelley scolds, swatting the younger defender’s arm. “But, P, seriously, what’s going on?”

“They’re just talking, laughing occasionally,” Pinoe reports, as she cranes her neck to see the table in the other room. “From what I can see, no sparks are flying yet.”

“Gosh, this is painful. We need to move them along,” Kelley whines, before her eyes widen and her eyes light up, a mischievous smirk playing on her lips. “I have an idea.”

“Oh no,” Christen groans. “This should be good.”

The freckled defender just waves her hand, ignoring her friend’s comment. “Just you wait and see. This is gonna work.”

The team has to wait a couple more minutes until the waitress comes back to refill their waters for Kelley’s plan to unfold.

“Excuse me,” Kelley calls over to the waiter, briefly glancing at her name tag. “Virginia, could I order some dessert?”

“Of course.”

“I’d like to get one slice of your cheesecake, please. And if I could ask for a favor?”

The waitress nods with a polite smile.

“Would you deliver it to my two friends over there sitting by the window?”

“Aren’t those your teammates?” Virginia turns to see where Kelley’s pointing.

“Yeah, we’re trying to set them up. So if you could just say it’s on the house or something, we don’t really want them to know we’re here.”

The waitress just chuckles, as she shuts her notepad. “Of course.”

“Oh, wait,” Kelley stops her one more time. “If you’re cool with it, maybe you could flirt with one of them, maybe say the cheesecake is from you?”

Virginia pauses for a second to contemplate her options, before ultimately agreeing. “Fine, but only if I can get your friend’s number over there.” She smirks and points over to where Emily’s sitting, sipping on a glass of wine.

“Deal, but only if my friends over there get together by the end of the night.”

Virginia just smirks, as she leaves to continue her job and get a slice of cheesecake.

—————

You and Tierna took advantage of the date your teammates had set up for you, enjoying some delicious rolls and a bowl of udon. Even though your teammates were technically in the backroom watching, you and your girlfriend enjoyed a nice evening to yourselves.

As you’re finishing up your meal, the waitress comes over with a slice of cheesecake and places it down in front of you.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You move to return the dessert. “I didn’t order any dessert.”

“I know, cutie,” Virginia flirts. “That’s from me, on the house.”

“I- I, um.” You blush, flustered, while Tierna shoots silent daggers at the waitress. “I’m flattered, but I actually have a girlfriend.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” the waitress apologizes, glancing between the two of you. “Is this your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, I am,” Tierna answers, hints of jealousy lacing her voice, as you give a sheepish nod.

“Ah I see,” Virginia observes, amused, knowing that the other group of soccer players were going to be quite shocked. “Well, I’m sorry, again, for hitting on you. Keep the dessert as an apology?”

“Everything’s forgotten,” you amend with a kind smile. “Thank you for the cheesecake.”

As the waitress turns to leave, she suggests, “Maybe you guys can share? I’m trying to win a bet.”

Before you or Tierna can respond, Virginia gives both of you a knowing smirk, as she takes your plates and goes back to the kitchen.

“What does that mean?” You tilt your head and push the plate of cheesecake towards the middle of the table.

“I assume that our teammates probably had something to do with that whole scene,” Tierna guesses, shrugging, as she takes a bite of the dessert. “Mmmmm, but thank goodness they did because this cheesecake is delicious.”

“Oooooo, let me try!”

As you and your girlfriend share the slice of fluffy cheesecake, your teammates were waiting for something to happen.

“Anything?” Alyssa asks impatiently. The goalie had been becoming increasingly agitated, because she had seriously thought there was something between you two.

“Not yet,” Kelley sighs. By now, the rest of the team had lost interest and decided to just enjoy their night out.

“Oh wait!” Pinoe gasps, holding her hand up to get everybody else’s attention. The pink-haired forward watched intensely, as you leaned in closely to Tierna, who was holding out her fork with a bite of cheesecake for you.

“Baby T just fed (Y/N/N) a bite of cheesecake. I repeat, Baby T just fed (Y/N/N) a bite of cheesecake!” Megan exclaims. “It was the last slice, too!"

“And they are totally giving each other heart eyes right now,” Kelley adds, excitedly bouncing in her seat.

After a few minutes, as the team bubbles with anticipation to see what would happen next, Virginia returns to the table with the checks and hands it to Kelley.

“By the way, you owe me your friend’s number.”

“Um, I don’t think so. We don’t know for sure that they ended up together,” Kelley protests, as she passes the checks down the table.

“Yeah, we do, because they’re already together,” Virginia boasts and moves to collect the empty plates, smirking when she sees you and Tierna holding hands, as you make your way over to the team’s table.

“What? No, they’re not.” The defender frowns, not noticing her two youngest teammates.

“Yes, we are,” Tierna simply states, leading you out the backdoor, as you duck your head to hide your flushed cheeks.

“And, thanks for the cheesecake,” your girlfriend throws over her shoulder, leaving your teammates sputtering in shock with wide eyes and gaping mouths.

“Well, that was fun,” you snicker, as you step outside.

“Yeah, it was,” Tierna agrees, kissing you cheek. “Now let’s go have some fun of our own.”

Laughing freely, you relax into your girlfriend’s side. You couldn’t help but feel lighter, like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders, now that the team knew about your relationship, and maybe this is the push you needed to open up to the women who would soon become your second family.

[hazel-light]

CATCH UP ON CHAPTER ONE HERE

Chapter Two Word Count: ~8,500

Genre: (Wedding) Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, lots of bed sharing and every self indulgent fluffy trope possible.

Warnings: None? Lots of fluff? Occasional cussing? Some suggestive themes, moments, and jokes I guess. No smut or anything!

Disclaimer: I am not Daniel Sharman, and I do not pretend to know how he would act, speak, etc. This is fiction okay, there’s a lot of creative license, and potential to be OOC. Ricky isn't mentioned because I started writing this before we knew he existed, so apologies for that. Also, if you’re DShar himself, please do us both a favor and don’t read this, okay???? Same if you know him 🙈

Title taken from the song Yellow Lights by Harry Hudson which suits this story quite a bit!

A/N: Thank you to everyone who sent me feedback on the first part! I really appreciate it :) Things pick up quite a bit here.... I hope you all enjoy! The third part will be up tomorrow, as promised. <3

It was finally time to fly back to Massachusetts. I had changed my flight so that Daniel and I could be on the same one and seated together.

It’s ridiculously early when I arrive at his apartment to pick him up in our shared Uber, since we have to account for the time difference on the East Coast. He opens the door to his apartment, looking super cozy and ready for travel, one suitcase behind him and a backpack by the door.

“Today’s the day,” I grin at him.

“Oh shit, is it really?” He feigns, rolling his eyes. “Good thing I packed early, then.”

“You’re a professional traveler by this point, I bet you have it down pat.”

“You would think that, wouldn’t you? I actually put a bit more thought into this trip than I usually do.... I need to make a good impression, and I’m making a lot of first impressions.”

I can’t keep my face from forming an endeared expression. “That’s really cute.”

He puts his hands up bashfully. “I take my roles very seriously, Lauren.”

I shake my head. “Well, it means a lot to me; not only that you’re doing this, but that you’re taking it seriously.”

He shrugs, softening his playful demeanor. “Even if we weren’t together in their eyes, I would care what your family thinks. They’re important to you, so it’s important to me.”

“Dannnnielllll,” I whine, “Please don't make me cry this early in the day.”

He laughs, picking up his luggage. “At this rate you’re not going to survive the weekend. I haven’t even turned on my boyfriend charm yet.”

God help me then, I think, making my way back to the car.

Getting through LAX is fairly easy, and remarkably Daniel successfully flies under the radar. He offers to let me have the window seat, but I let him take it, figuring the farther out of sight from the aisle he is, the better.

Like all flights, I fall asleep as soon as we hit cruising altitude; Daniel has his headphones in and spends the time working on something in a notebook. In what seems like minutes, I’m being gently shaken awake by a smiling Daniel.

“Lovely girlfriend of mine, it’s time to rise and shine. Our relationship starts,” he pretends to check the time, “now.”

“Oh thank you, handsome boyfriend. I’m ready.”

Daniel laughs as we stand and wait to exit the plane. Once we step off and onto the ramp, Daniel offers me his hand. “Ready?”

I lace my fingers through his and try to ignore the flutter in my stomach. “Ready.”

Getting our luggage from baggage claim is fairly painless, which leads us to looking for Ryan and Katharine, his longtime girlfriend, in the airport. They’re picking us up on their way to the hotel on the Cape, where the wedding reception is going to be held, and also where we’re going to be staying.

We walk through the airport hand in hand, as I check my phone yet again to see if Ryan has texted. Nothing. We stop for a moment, and peripherally I hear a girl’s voice from behind us,

“Um excuse me, are you Daniel Sharman? Can I get a photo?”

I glance at Daniel, whose face has gone blank. I move to let go of his hand instinctively but he tightens his grip as we turn around. I laugh when I realize the voice belongs to Katharine, who’s standing in front of Ryan, who is trying his best not to laugh.

“Not funny, you guys,” I say, biting back a grin. “We haven’t been recognized so far.”

I turn back to Daniel, who’s looking at me slightly confused. “Daniel, please meet Ryan and his girlfriend Katharine.”

“Oh,” he laughs, reaching out to shake their hands. “That was good. It’s nice to meet you both.”

Katharine knocks into Ryan, who’s still grinning. “It was this loser’s idea. He said he couldn't do it because you’d recognize his voice too soon.”

“A fair point,” I add, teasing. “Besides, women tend to be Daniel’s main demographic, so.”

Daniel scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“What?” I laugh, “It’s true.”

“I wanted to see if you’d drop her hand in front of a fan,” Ryan challenges. “You passed the test.”

“That’s a stupid test, Ry. I wouldn’t have been offended if he did, since this is our first public outing as a couple.”

Daniel looks at me like I’ve somehow insulted him. “I would never do that to you, Laur. That’s crazy; I wouldn’t try to hide you.”

“Okay, well, I’m just saying.” I look at Ryan expectantly. “Still trying to figure out why you haven’t hugged me yet.”

“It takes two hands to hug, I think,” he taunts, nodding towards where Daniel and I are still holding hands.

I blush. “Can you not be this annoying? We literally just arrived.” I let go of Daniel’s hand and step toward Ryan. Katharine and Daniel watch amusedly as Ryan and I hug, trying to see who can crush the other the most. “I missed you, dummy.”

“I missed you, too. You can let go now. Really.”

I let go of Ryan and narrow my eyes at him. “You’re a brat.”

“Whatever, let’s go.”

I grab the handle of my suitcase, smiling at Daniel, who smiles softly back at me. I glance at his hand and then back at him, and he chuckles softly as he meets me halfway in my attempt to hold his hand again. I blush and look away, turning my attention back to Ryan and Katharine, who are leading us out of the airport to where they’d parked.

---

The car ride to the hotel on the Cape is filled with small talk, mainly questions for Daniel, who takes them in stride. I watch him and smile as he is able to keep up with Ryan’s antics and provide thoughtful answers. He is anything but flustered, and I feel a sense of pride trickle through me. At some point, Daniel catches me watching up with a smile on my face and he just smiles back, continuing his easy conversation with Ryan and Katharine. I jump in where I’m needed, or when I can provide something interesting, but for the most part I bask in how well things seem to be going.

Once we arrive and park at the hotel, the four of us get our luggage and head inside to check in. Ryan gives our name to the woman at the desk and she looks us up.

“Got it. I see the mother of the bride reserved two king rooms on the wedding family floor, which is 3.” I see Ryan glance at us, but I just don’t look at him, I just squeeze Daniel’s hand.

“That sounds right to me.”

Daniel nods next to me. The woman nods and hands us each two key cards. We thank her and head to the elevator for our floor.

Katharine checks her phone. “Do you guys want to get settled and meet back up for dinner? The hotel restaurant has seating out by the beach.”

I look at Daniel who looks at me before shrugging. “Yeah, that sounds great. You want to meet in like 45 minutes?”

The elevator dings and we exit to our floor. Our room is farther down the hall than Ryan and Katharine’s.

“Sure, we’ll head over to your room then.” Ryan smiles before ducking into his room with Katharine.

Once I hear their door click shut, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

Daniel huffs a laugh at me, stopping to unlock our door.

“You alright?”

“Great. How’re you doing with all this?”

“Good; they’re nice— Ryan is literally exactly what I expected.”

I laugh at that and follow Daniel into the room. I look around and admire the quaint decor. The bed takes up most of the room but there’s a closet and a bureau on the opposite wall, and tall windows that don’t open but overlook the beach below and the sea beyond. Opposite the windows is a wall covered in different paintings and signs— very boho beachy.

I sit on the bed and look at Daniel, who’s already unzipping his luggage to hang up his suit.

“This is cute,” I comment.

“Yeah, it’s nice.”

I bite my nail and watch as he turns around to face the closet.

“I uh, forgot that we’d be sharing a bed. Just didn’t think of it— sorry.”

Daniel laughs and gives me an incredulous look over his shoulder.

“You thought your aunt would book us two beds even though as far as she knows we’re super in love?”

I blush. “Well, no. I just— I don’t know, I didn’t even think about it is all I meant.”

Daniel rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t bother me. I quite appreciate a good cuddle, if I’m honest. Haven’t had one in a while.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Oh?”

“Why— do you hate that? Are you one of those women who like their space?”

I snort. “No, no, we can cuddle. You just surprise me, is all.”

“Surprise you, huh?”

Daniel turns around with a mischievous sparkle in his eye. He takes two strides so he’s standing in front of me, and puts his hands on either side of my face. He leans down so we’re eye to eye and I can’t help but glance briefly at his lips, wondering if he’s going to kiss me again.

“You know,” he says softly, “You should really unpack your dress so it doesn’t wrinkle.” He winks and pulls back, kissing my forehead.

I shake my head even though he’s facing away from me now, hopping off the bed to follow his advice.

“You’re trouble, Sharman. Such a tease.”’

“Sorry?” He looks at me innocently, batting his eyelashes dramatically. “Oh, were you expecting a kiss?”

I feel myself blush as I pull my dress out and walk around him to hang it up.

“I wasn’t expecting anything. Like I said, you’re full of surprises.”

He lowers his voice. “So, you don’t want a kiss?”

I turn around to face him, eyes narrowed, thoughts rushing, but before I can retort there’s a knock on the door.

I turn away promptly to answer the door, grateful for the exit. I hear Daniel chuckle behind me as I open the door to reveal Ryan, who clears his throat.

“Hope I’m not interrupting.” He peers past me, presumably at Daniel. “Katharine called the restaurant to make a reservation and they only had a 6:45, so she said we’d take it. I tried to text you but you didn’t answer.”

“Sorry,” I apologize. “My phone's still in my bag. We were unpacking.”

“That’s fine. Are you guys good to head to dinner, or...?”

I feel an arm wrap around my waist. “Yeah, we’re good. I grabbed your purse, Laur, and I have my wallet and the room key.”

I can feel Ryan watching me so I lean back against Daniel’s chest and look up at him. “Thank you,” I say sweetly, taking my bag from him before turning back to Ryan. “Let’s go.”

—-

Dinner on the beach is lovely. There’s a subtle warm breeze and the food is delicious. The conversation is easy and I can’t help but feel an unusual sense of peace of bringing two of my favorite men together and having them get along so well.

I’m in a reverie when I feel Daniel’s hand lightly squeeze my thigh, bringing me back to reality. I blink, looking across the table at Ryan and Katharine, and try to ignore Daniel smirking next to me.

“Hmm? Sorry, I dazed out there for a minute.”

Katharine laughs. “Totally fine, I was asking how it’s been dating someone who's in the spotlight.”

“Oh, um.” I pause, taking a sip of water. “It’s been fine, you know, since we’ve been so low key about it. The public doesn’t know about us. I imagine it’d be different then.”

Daniel nods. “I think for the most part, the fans would be welcoming, but there are always going to be people who… aren’t.”

Ryan leans on his hand, looking between the two of us. “Isn’t it weird, though? The thought that there are so many girls thinking about getting with your boyfriend constantly?”

“I—” I look at Daniel, who looks mortified, but also curious at how I’ll respond. “I guess I’ve never really thought about it like that.”

Ryan makes a noise of indignation. “You watch his movies and shows and stuff, don’t you?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Of course I do.”

“And it isn’t weird watching him make out with people on screen? Doesn’t it make you jealous?”

I open and close my mouth. I can tell behind his hand Daniel’s smirking, and even Katharine’s looking at me curiously.

“Well, of course I don’t love it— but I mean— it’s his job. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

I look at Daniel, who’s looking at me curiously.

“You never said it made you jealous.”

“I mean—” I shrug, at a loss for words.

He looks at me for a moment before looking away, clearing his throat as we’re interrupted by the waiter bringing our check.

Ryan goes to grab it, but Daniel beats him to it.

“I got it. I said I’d owe you a hundred bucks if you came with a real date, so,” Ryan teases.

I cross my arms. “Oh, and you believe me now?”

“After seeing how jealous you got in that conversation? Yeah.”

I scoff and Daniel and Katharine laugh while Ryan rolls his eyes.

“I’m just playing around, Laur.”

Daniel intervenes, sticking his card in the check holder and placing it at the edge of the table.

“I’ve got it, bro. First meeting and all that; but thank you.”

I look at Daniel. “You don’t have to do that, we all have our own jobs.”

Daniel shrugs. “I know, I just want to.” He places his hand on my thigh again, and leans in to kiss my temple. He whispers against my head. “Let me do this, please?”

“Okay,” I sigh. “Well, thank you.”

“Yes, thank you,” Katharine echoes, smiling.

“My pleasure.”

—-

We’re back in our room, just finished brushing our teeth, when I bring it up again.

“You really didn’t have to pay for dinner you know.”

“I know,” he says. “But I don’t want him giving you money like me coming here was something that had to be bribed, or bought. I came because I wanted to— the details of which Ryan doesn’t need to know.”

I hum in thought.

“Besides, apparently I’m causing you bouts of jealousy, so really it’s the least I can do,” he teases.

I scoff, “Comes with the territory I guess…. along with apparently fighting off swarms of girls who want to jump your bones.”

It’s his turn to roll his eyes, folding down the bed covers, “Do people even use that expression anymore?”

“Doesn’t matter, you know what I mean.”

“And yet, you’re the woman in my bed tonight.”

I laugh, folding down the other side of the bed, “How scandalous.”

“Very. Cuddling is serious business, you know.”

Daniel settles into bed, looking at me where I’m still sat on the edge.

“You coming in?”

“Yeah,” I flush, hesitating.

He extends an arm, and I take the invitation, cuddling up against his chest.

“See, this is nice.”

“I never said it wouldn’t be.”

“I know." He pauses, "Try to relax, I promise this weekend is going to go smoothly, if I have any say in it. Not to sound too cocky, but I’m good at my job.”

I laugh at that, before sighing, “I know you are.”

“Good. Sweet dreams, then.”

“Sweet dreams," I echo, snuggling a little bit closer to him.

—-

When I wake up in the morning, my chest is pressed against Daniel’s shirt, and I feel his fingertips lightly tracing up and down my back.

“Morning,” he hums.

“Good morning,” I answer, shifting slightly. “How long have you been awake?”

Daniel makes a noncommittal noise. “Not sure, didn’t want to risk waking you up to check my phone.”

I look up at him as best I can from my position. “You’ve just been staring at the ceiling this whole time?”

“It hasn’t been that long. Plus I’m resting, and enjoying our cuddle.”

I turn away blushing and snuggle back into him. “You are very warm; makes me not want to get up.”

“Our alarm hasn’t gone off yet—” He’s cut off by the alarm on his phone doing just that. “Nevermind.”

I make no effort to move from my cozy position.

“Come on,” He urges, pulling my hair lightly. “We have to get up and brush our teeth. I have a feeling there’s some kissing in our future, so.”

“Oh? Is there someone you have your eye on?” I tease.

“Just my fake girlfriend. I think I’ll probably need to demonstrate to her family how in love I am.”

“Demonstrate, huh? I’ll tell the children to shield their eyes.”

I feel Daniel’s laugh rumble through his chest, and I grin.

“Come on, we have to get ready and we have to make a good impression!”

I groan, rolling off and away from him. “I’m going to complain the whole time.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

I don’t have to turn around to know he’s smirking.

Daniel showers first so I can use the bathroom to style my hair and do my makeup once I’m done with mine.

When I’m done, I find Daniel suited and sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling on his phone. I walk up to him, standing in between his legs, and he looks up at me, taking in my appearance.

“You look beautiful.”

I reach my hand up to smooth his collar. “And you look very handsome; it might be a hard sell for anyone to believe you’re here with me,” I joke.

He shakes his head, smiling softly. He reaches up to take my hand, pulling my wrist up to his lips where he leaves a gentle kiss.

“I don’t think anyone will have any trouble believing that, actually.”

My heart stutters in my chest, and I swallow.

“Are you ready to meet everyone?”

“I am. Are you nervous?”

I look at him for a minute and really think about it.

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “With you, I’m not nervous.”

He smiles. “Good; let’s get going.”

—

As we exit the hotel, we take a right before descending down the stairs to the beach ceremony hand in hand. The sun feels warm on our skin, but the soft breeze keeps it from feeling overbearing. I can feel some family members’ eyes on me as I smile and wave with my free hand, sure I’ll have plenty of time to talk to them after. We pick our seats and I look up at Daniel, who is already smiling down at me. I smile back as he places our clasped hands in my lap, his thumb gently brushing back and forth over my skin.

“It’s a beautiful day to get married,” he states, looking around.

I hum in agreement, wrapping my free hand around his bicep.

“I always wondered about summer weddings— I’d worry that I’d sweat off all my makeup if I was the bride.”

Daniel huffs a laugh. “Yeah. I assume most grooms are sweating buckets before they even reach the reception.”

My eyes wander down to where he has the first few buttons of his shirt undone to accommodate the heat.

“My eyes are up here.”

My eyes flash back up to his, and he smirks. I shake my head and try not to blush at getting caught. He leans down to kiss my temple.

“You’re cute when you blush,” he murmurs against my hair, squeezing my hand.

I turn to him and raise my eyebrow. “Diving right in are we?”

He shrugs and diverts his attention back to the altar.

“Ryan looks so much older in his tux.”

I look to where Ryan stands next to Nick, Rachel’s soon-to-be husband, as one of the groomsmen.

“Sometimes I forget he’s only 18, but then he’s still a baby to me in some ways.”

Daniel shakes his head. “Just imagine, one day we’ll be sitting at his wedding.”

“I can’t even think about that— though, to be fair, he may beat me to getting married. He and Katharine have been dating since they were 13.”

He lets out a low whistle. “True high school sweethearts. Do you think they’ll stay together through college?”

I sigh, looking over at Katharine a few rows ahead with my Aunt Judith. “I hope so, I think they’re a good fit. She’s already part of the family.”

It’s quiet for a moment before something hits me.

“You said we’ll be sitting at Ryan’s wedding.” I tug on Daniel’s arm. “Plan on sticking around?”

“Well, I—” He opens and closes his mouth a few times, not sure of the right response.

I giggle and lean up to kiss his cheek before pulling back just enough to whisper, “You know, you’re really cute when you blush.”

He turns to me before I can pull away entirely, placing a quick kiss on my lips, leaving me blinking up at him.

He smirks. “Touché.”

———

There’s something to be said for attending a wedding with someone.

I’m not sure if I’m emotional because it’s Rachel, my cousin who I’ve grown up with, or the fact that when something particularly romantic happens, I look at Daniel, who will smile and squeeze my hand in solidarity.

We’re both a little teary eyed by the time the ceremony ends. I reach my free hand up to wipe a stray tear from his face. He laughs, embarrassed.

“It’s okay, I’m feeling it too. Easy to feel a little sappy on a day like today.”

“Mmm. Really sets the mood for the start of our relationship.”

I roll my eyes good-naturedly.

“Speaking of…” I trail off, eyeing a few family members approaching over his shoulder.

“Get ready, because introductions start now.”

—-

The members of my family that are introduced seem to welcome Daniel with no hesitations— and far fewer questions than I anticipated. He handles them all smoothly and I’m thankful we discussed some things beforehand. Eventually, we part ways, excusing ourselves with promises to catch up more later.

We don’t get too far before a little girl runs up to us. She can’t be older than 4 or 5.

“Hi,” she giggles. “I’m Marnie.”

Daniel and I share a smile, and I bend down a bit. “Hi Marnie, I’m Lauren, and this is Daniel.” He waves. “Are you here for the wedding too?”

She nods bashfully. “Nick kissed her! Now he’s a husband.”

Daniel laughs. “He is.”

“How do you know Nick?” I ask.

“He’s my cousin,” she says, kicking some sand with her sandals.

“Ahh, the girl he kissed is my cousin Rachel. Now she’s a wife!” I exclaim.

She looks at me curiously. “Is a wife like a mom?”

Before I can answer, we hear someone call her name, and we look up to see a couple around our age standing on the patio about 10 feet away.

“Is that your mom and dad?” Daniel asks.

“Yeah, I gotta go— see you later!”

She dashes off, and we wave at the couple who wave back, calling out an apology.

“It’s fine— she’s super cute!” I smile.

We watch as they head back toward the hotel, and presumably the reception.

We walk along the stone wall lining the patio, watching from a distance as bridal party photos are taken.

I look at him. “Should we take our own photo to celebrate the occasion, and how nice we look?”

Daniel laughs, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Sure.”

He bends down so we can take a selfie, before shaking his head.

“Wait.” He sits on the wall, and pulls me so I’m sitting on his lap. I try to mask my blush as he looks at the phone screen. “Better. More natural angle.”

We take one selfie smiling and another with silly faces.

“Do you two want me to take a photo for you?” A woman passing by asks.

I hesitate, but Daniel’s already handing over his phone. “That would be great, thanks.”

We stay seated with his arm around my waist. And I turn to lean into him, putting my hand on his chest.

We grin and the woman takes a photo.

“Boooo, boring,” Ryan heckles, walking up behind the woman out of nowhere. “Give us something good.”

I roll my eyes, and feel Daniel chuckle.

“Aren’t you supposed to be taking formal photos?” I query.

“I finished.” He shrugs, taking the camera from the woman, who excuses herself. “Now give me something good.”

“Alright Ryan, since you asked so nicely,” Daniel drawls. I feel his hand on my neck tilting my head up. “Give the man what he wants.” He smirks, eyes sparkling, leaning in to kiss me.

I can’t help but grin into the kiss as I hear Ryan quickly change his tune. “Okay gross, this is excessive. I got it, you can stop.”

Eventually we pull away, and I turn to Ryan innocently. “Sorry, were you saying something?”

“I’m starting to regret pushing the whole plus one agenda.” He frowns, handing Daniel back his phone.

“No you aren’t,” I tease.

“I’m going to go find my girlfriend,” he rebuts, stalking off.

Daniel shakes his head. “He’s funny.” Lowering his voice, he says into my ear, “One kiss down, many to go.”

I shove him playfully and slide off his lap, turning back towards the hotel to hide my blush. “If any of those pictures came out good, send them to me, please.”

“Okay, but wait.” He stands and pulls my elbow gently, and as I turn back to him his lips meet mine.

“What was that for?” I ask as we finally pull away.

“Just making sure we found our rhythm.” He shrugs. “Besides, as your boyfriend, I technically don’t need a reason.”

I bite my lip. “Is that so?”

He looks at me innocently. “It goes both ways, you know, these lips are yours for the day.”

I bark a laugh. “That sounds so weird, but, okay, noted.”

He grins, lacing our fingers together and pulling me back toward the hotel and the reception.

—-

Inside the reception, each table seats 6; we’re seated at one of the family tables with Ryan, Katharine, and my Aunt Judith. Aunt Judith is my late grandmother’s sister. She has a sharp tongue and rarely minces words when she speaks, a trait that suited her long career as a lawyer in the city. She’s one of the family members who I’ve been most nervous for Daniel to meet, as I know she’ll be critical and her eagle eye will be looking for weaknesses between us. I’ve seen her do it to Rachel’s boyfriends over the years, and even to Katharine when she and Ryan started dating.

“So, Daniel…” Aunt Judith begins. “Ryan here tells me you had… concerns, about Lauren telling us about you.”

Here comes the interrogation. I glare at Ryan, who shrugs, before looking at Daniel who appears unusually calm.

“Not concerns, really,” he starts, “We were friends for a long time, as you know, and I think we were both just nervous—“ he looks at me, “and trying to take our time in figuring out the transition into being together romantically.”

I nod, “And it was only like a month before I told Ryan. You guys know I tell you everything.”

Aunt Judith watches as the others laugh knowingly, and Daniel grins at me.

“Are you planning to keep your relationship private from the press?” She pushes.

“Well,” Ryan interjects, “At the airport they were holding hands, even when Katharine approached him pretending to be a fangirl.”

I roll my eyes, “That was so unnecessary, you guys. Daniel and I both like our privacy so I wouldn’t say we’re hiding it, but we aren’t flaunting it all over either.”

“I’m definitely not ashamed or trying to hide Lauren, if that’s what you mean.” Daniel jests lightly.

“I should hope not,” she says, looking at him over her glass, as she takes a sip.

Katherine turns to Daniel, “What is it about Lauren that drew you in?”

Ryan snorts, “Yeah, how’d she escape the friendzone?”

I put a hand over my face, embarrassed, which Aunt Judith seems to interpret to mean something else entirely.

“Please tell me you did nothing scandalous, so help me, Lauren….”

“What,” I look at her, “No, of course not, why would you assume that?”

She shrugs and Daniel intervenes, “It wasn’t something sudden… I always knew she was beautiful, and obviously as we became friends I saw how kind and thoughtful she was. Funny too,” he says smirking at me.

“Hmm,” she says taking a sip from her drink again, but I can tell she’s secretly pleased with his answer.

—-

Once dinner is finished I excuse Daniel and I from the table, so I can introduce him to Rachel, her new husband, Nick, and of course my Auntie Kim.

I feel Daniel’s hand squeeze mine and I turn back to look at him, smiling.

“Getting tired of all these introductions yet?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “No, I’m fine.”

“Such a good sport,” I tease, and he rolls his eyes.

We wait for the last people currently talking to Rachel and Nick to clear, and when Rachel sees me she squeals.

“Lauren!”

I laugh, “Hi Rach, congratulations!”

“Thank you,” she beams, looking over at Nick briefly.

“And welcome to the family, officially, Nick.”

He grins and motions behind me, “Who’s this guy you’re towing around?”

“Right,” I blush. “Rachel, Nick, this is my boyfriend Daniel.”

“It’s a pleasure,” Daniel greets, sticking out his hand to shake theirs. Neither Nick or Rachel do a great job of hiding their surprise.

“No offense, Laur, but when Ryan told me you were bringing a boyfriend I thought he was messing with us.” Nick interjects.

I force a grin on my face, feeling Daniel’s hand comfortingly move to my back.

“I’m all too real, I’m afraid.” Daniel interjects. “Sorry to disappoint.”

I lean back into him, and watch as Rachel smacks Nick on the arm.

“No, no, we’re very glad you’re real Daniel. Just surprised is all. Don’t mind Nick.”

Auntie Kim approaches saving us from the awkward encounter.

“This must be the infamous Daniel, who has won our Lauren’s heart.”

I blush, as she moves to hug him.

He smirks, “Well, she’s won mine as well.”

“You two are so cute. We are so thrilled you could come today, Daniel.”

“I was too, it is really great to meet you all after hearing this one talk about you all nonstop.”

The group laughs.

“We are very much looking forward to getting to know you better, hopefully this will be the first of many visits.”

He smiles, “Definitely.”

—

At some point much later in the evening, I lose Daniel. He steps away to use the restroom and I get pulled into conversation with a family friend. I keep my eyes peeled for him but somehow I don’t seem to see him anywhere.

I’m standing by the bar waiting for a drink when I feel a pair of arms wrap around my waist.

“Hi, darling.”

My stomach flutters at the pet name.

“Oh hello, I was wondering where you ran off to.”

His arms tighten around my waist. “I was having a riveting conversation with one of your aunts, actually.”

I turn my head to look at him curiously. “Which one?”

“Aunt Judith,” he smirks, waving the bartender over to order a drink of his own.

“Oh boy,” I laugh. “What did you guys talk about?”

Once he places his order he leans down to whisper in my ear, “She wanted to know if we were using protection, and after that, we went over the unexpected costs of raising children.”

I turn around in his arms, horrified. “No! —She didn’t.”

“Oh yes,” he laughs, grinning. “She did.”

“What did you even say?”

He pretended to think. “I told her, diaper prices are definitely outrageous, and I agree, college costs are inflated beyond belief—” I glare at him. “Oh, and that it was very important to me that we practice safe sex, but, if anything ever did happen, I would be there for you every step of the way.”

“Oh God.” I bury my face into his chest, and he laughs, affectionately stroking my hair. “I’m so sorry, that’s mortifying….”

“I’ve been asked weirder things, just being an actor in LA.”

“Still.” I look up at him. “Your answer was very sweet, though.”

“Well, it’s the truth. I’ll always be there for you— fake pregnancies and all.”

We’re staring at each other now, his fingers still running through my hair, his other hand on my lower back. Time seems to slow down and my eyes flicker to his mouth, his words from earlier echoing in my head. It goes both ways. Before I can talk myself out of it, I reach up to kiss him, because it feels right.

“You’re the best fake boyfriend, you know that?” I murmur against his mouth.

He pulls me closer to him, brushing his nose against mine. “I might need another kiss to convince me.”

The bartender behind us clears his throat. “Excuse me, sir, ma’am? Your drinks?”

We break apart, and as our moment ends I try to quell the butterflies in my tummy.

Daniel smiles politely at the bartender, passing me my drink before taking his glass in one hand and my hand in the other.

We make our way back to our now vacant table. He lets go of my hand to pull his chair closer to mine as we sit down, draping his arm over the back of my chair. I lean into him as we sip our drinks, people-watching the other tables and the crowd on the dance floor. I feel his fingers start drawing shapes on my shoulder, causing me to look up at him.

“Are you having a good time?” he asks.

“I am, largely thanks to you. Are you having a good time?”

“I am; everyone has been really welcoming. It’s nice to meet the people you’ve told me about, and hear the stories everyone has to tell me about you. There have been some good ones, I have to say…”

I roll my eyes, smiling. “I’m sure.”

“The only way it could be better would be if they had baby pictures.”

“Listen, I’ll be the first to say I peaked in preschool. I was much cuter then, I peaked—” Daniel laughs. “I’ll get some and show you. You’ll be so disappointed this is how I’ve turned out.”

“No, I don’t think so. I mean I bet you were cute but, I couldn’t be disappointed.”

I shake my head, blushing. “Don’t be so sure— you haven’t seen them yet.”

“I am sure…. I’m looking at you right now.”

I start to smile despite myself. “Oooooh, that was smooth, Sharman.”

“No, no, no," he protests, smirking, "it’s easy when you tell the truth.”

“Have you always been this cheesy, or is this a boyfriend exclusive privilege I’ve unlocked?”

“You know—” He’s interrupted as the little girl from earlier runs up to us.

“Hi,” she says bashfully.

I smile, “Hi Marnie,”

She turns to Daniel and taps twice on his knee. “Can I sit?”

Daniel looks at me, and then around the room. Marnie’s parents are nowhere in sight.

“Sure, angel. Where are your mom and dad?”

She shrugs before he lifts her into his lap. The three of us smile at each other as Marnie gets shy. She leans up to whisper in Daniel’s ear, cupping both of her tiny hands around his ear. I can’t hear what she’s saying but I watch as Daniel’s eyes twinkle in amusement.

“Not yet,” he answers to whatever she asked, and she giggles before whispering again, and he laughs. “Mhm, I do.”

Marnie pulls back and looks at him with amazement, whispering even more excitedly. This time he pauses before smiling at me, before turning back to her.

“What do you think?” She looks at me quickly before back at him, nodding shyly. He nods along with her, before leaning in and whispering in her head with his hands cupped secretly like hers had been. Marnie is absolutely beaming now. It’s easy to see how smitten she is with him.

Curiosity gets the best of me. “Do I get to know a secret, too?” I ask, teasingly.

She looks unsure before Daniel swoops in playfully. “Nope, these secrets are for me and Marnie only.”

“Darn it.” I sigh dramatically.

The music changes to something Marnie clearly recognizes as her face lights up, as she tugs on Daniel’s sleeve. “Can we dance? Me and you?”

Daniel looks at me. “Will you be okay here?”

“Absolutely, I’ll be watching.”

He puts his drink on the table as I pick mine up to take a sip, watching as her tiny hand fits in his and she drags him out to dance. The two of them are so cute and my heart feels like it’s going to burst.

Ryan slides into Daniel’s seat a minute later.

“You know, if you and Daniel had a daughter, she’d probably look just like Marnie.”

I glance at him, realizing he’s right. Dark brown curls and bright blue eyes, with a toothy smile and a loud laugh.

“Don’t let my ovaries hear you. I’m not having any children until I have two rings on this finger,” I say, waggling my left hand at him.

Ryan laughs and we watch as Daniel is so good with Marnie, letting her swing his arms around and move them to the beat.

“I like him,” Ryan says definitively.

I look at him, surprised. “Wow, I mean I obviously like him too, I just thought you’d be more skeptical.”

“I did too until I saw you guys together. I just…” He looks emotional all of a sudden. “Shit.”

I laugh softly. “It’s okay, Ry, it’s an emotional day.” I rub his shoulder as he pinches his eyes.

I see Daniel glance over, concerned, but I give him a thumbs up. He nods and goes back to spinning Marnie around.

“I just...” I turn back to Ryan as he speaks, giving him my full attention. “I can see that he loves you— really loves you. It’s all I ever wanted for you.”

I feel my heart squish uncomfortably in my chest. I feel guilty that my cousin is so happy for me, so proud and vulnerable over a relationship that’s just for show. I swallow.

“Me too, I— thank you, Ryan. I love you, so much.”

The song changes again into something slow and I watch Marnie shriek, horrified, before running off into the crowd. Daniel looks after her, humored, before looking at me, gesturing with his head that I come join him. Ryan must see it too because he kisses my temple.

“I love you, too. Go get your man; I should find Katharine.”

Like I’m in a trance, I don’t take my eyes off Daniel as I approach. He smiles and reaches his hands out for me, lacing our fingers together.

“May I have this dance?”

“You may, I was getting a little jealous over there.”

He drops one of my hands to wrap it around my waist, and I bring mine around his neck as we begin to sway, staying close together.

He chuckles. “Well, don’t be, I think everyone here knows who I’m going home with.”

“Yeah, you’re stuck with me.”

He smiles softly but doesn’t answer. I feel my eyes flutter shut as he moves closer pressing his lips to mine gently, tenderly. I kiss him back and for a second I swear I feel it— that all-encompassing love Ryan says he sees between us. When we pull apart, he keeps his head dipped down, pressing his cheek to mine for the remainder of the song. I close my eyes and nuzzle into him, letting myself pretend this is real, just for another moment.

Eventually I break our silence.

“Hey, what did Marnie ask you?”

“Hmm?” He murmurs, the sound vibrating against my cheek.

“During your super secret whisper time.”

“Oh,” he laughs breathily. “She wanted to know if we were married.”

“Ahhh,” I chuckle. “I see. What else did she want to know?”

He pauses as the song starts to fade out and our swaying slows down. “I don’t know if I can tell you that. Some secrets need to stay secret, after all.”

While it was clearly meant to be a joke, he says it a bit too seriously, so I drop it and smile tightly as we pull apart.

“Okay.”

He tugs my hand playfully. “Nothing bad, I promise.”

I make a face at him. “Well, I guess I’ll never know.”

He laughs. “You’ll just have to take my word for it.”

—-

A little while later, we’re watching Rachel and Nick leave for their honeymoon as the wedding party begins to disperse.

“I suppose we should say our goodbyes,” I say, tearing my eyes away as their car drives off.

I hug my Auntie Kim goodbye and tell her I’ll see her at Christmas. She fawns over Daniel, telling him to watch over me, and how happy she is to have gotten to meet him. It makes me smile to see how well he gets on with her. It’s hardest to say goodbye to Ryan. I hug him fiercely, and he returns the hug just as vigorously.

“I wish I could take you back with me.”

“I know.”

“We need to FaceTime more.”

“We will.”

When I step back, Ryan and Daniel go to shake hands, and I see Aunt Judith sitting at the bar by herself. I excuse myself as they chat and take the seat next to her.

“Aunt Judith, I’m afraid I leave again tomorrow.”

She turns toward me, swirling the scotch in her glass. She disregards what I’ve said and instead looks past me into the crowd.

“Where’s that man of yours?”

“He’s saying goodbye to Ryan at the moment.”

She hums.

“What?” I ask.

“He’s a looker.”

I chuckle. “So I’ve been told.”

“I think he could be husband material though. Not as dense as men usually are.”

I suppress a smile. “Huh, I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.” I give her a kiss on the cheek goodbye, walking over to rejoin Daniel who seems to be finishing a serious chat with Ryan as I approach. As I join his side, Ryan shakes his hand one last time before walking away. Daniel glances at me, placing a hand on my back, looking back towards Aunt Judith at the bar.

“Should I go say goodbye to her?”

“I think you’re alright.”

Aunt Judith waves at us, and Daniel waves back.

”Was everything okay with Ryan?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah; just talking.” He shifts, interlacing our hands. “Ready to go back to our room?”

I nod and we head towards the elevators, hands swinging between us. While we wait, I subconsciously start swaying to the soft music playing from the hallway speakers. Daniel glances at me smirking, and I look up at him giggling, “What?”

“Nothing. You want to spin, like Marnie?” He teases, lifting our joined hands. I spin twice before bumping into his chest, giggling more. “Ooops.”

He shakes his head at me as the elevator doors open. He wraps both his arms around me, walking me backward into the elevator and I laugh into his tie. I turn around so we’re both facing the doors as he reaches around me to press the button for our floor. The mirrored doors slide closed and I meet his eyes in the reflection. We’re both grinning.

“You’re absolutely ridiculous,” he taunts, and I stick my tongue out in the reflection. His arms tighten around me and I press backwards into his chest.

—-

Back at the room, we start to get ready for bed. We share the bathroom to brush our teeth and do our nighttime routines, playfully brushing and bumping into each other. I drag my feet, trying to make the evening last as long as possible, trying to stretch out this daydream I’m living in before we have to go home tomorrow.

I get into bed first, lying on my back and watching as Daniel pads across the room to his side of the bed. He shuts off the overhead light as he passes, leaving only the soft blue moonlight from the window covering us.

He climbs into bed next to me but stays propped up on his elbow. I look at him and he begins tracing my face with his other hand. I crinkle my nose at him, and laugh softly.

“What’re you doing?”

“Waiting.”

“For what?”

He gestures behind me to a decorative sign on the wall.

I turn my head to look at it. “I can’t read that without my contacts.”

His fingers trace over my lips, and I hold my breath at the intimate gesture.

His voice drops even softer. “It says always kiss me goodnight. So I’m waiting.”

I look back at him, expecting him to crack a joke, but he doesn’t; his eyes are sincere. I run the arm closest to him up behind his neck, catching my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. He takes the hint, letting my touch guide him as he leans down and kisses me.

The kiss is sleepy, soft, lips tenderly pressed together, moving slowly against each other. It ends with a few gentle kisses that drift from my mouth to my cheek, up to my forehead. His gaze is already fixed on me when my eyes flutter back open.

I start to think about how final that kiss felt, how this is the end of our weekend of pretend; how it doesn’t make any sense that we’re kissing when no one’s here to see us, but maybe we’re both lonely and already missing the comfort, the closeness of this façade. I run my hand up from the nape of his neck to scratch gently at his scalp and his eyes flutter shut, finally breaking our eye contact.

“That feels nice,” he whispers. Wordlessly, we shift so his head is on my chest, his arm around my waist, my nails still soothingly sifting through his hair, quietly lulling him to sleep.

---

tagged: @rogershoe @heyrowena @yunsh-17

[xpeachesncream]

acquainted | two

> series masterlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: (2nd bts member to be revealed later on) x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut (to come)

words: 2.0k

warnings: hoe-ish thoughts / implied sexual content, per usual

tags: @laurynne5​, @yiyi4657​, @bluesharksandfish​, @miinoongi​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

You decided to stay behind with Jimin to get some homework done at the library. You were super tired, being that work earlier in the day was jam-packed with problems left and right. You literally felt like you had no time to take a breather up until now, if this is even considered a breather. You've also been feeling a little behind on your school work, and you knew trying to get this done at home wouldn't do you any good right now. You definitely wouldn't get anything done.

But damn, going home after grabbing your groceries and grubbing on some sushi and wine sure sounded nice as hell. Oh well, at least it'll be worth it.

As you sit in the far corner of the library with Jimin's back facing the entrance, you spot Mr. Kim walking towards the doors with another professor. You continue to write your notes as much as possible, but the distraction was evident and you weren't even mad at it. You continue to glance at him, just because he was simply nice to look at it, as he stood, hands in pockets while he laughed along with professor in front of him. Jimin raises his eyebrow and follows your glance, shaking his head at how blatantly obvious you were being.

"Y/N, really?" You were pulled out of your trance.

"Sorry."

"You literally can't be any more obvious." He laughed as he continued to write his notes.

"He's just nice to look at."

"Yes, I've heard." He snorted. "He's like, the talk of campus right now."

"See, and to think Taehyung was the only news that got around."

"God forbid he hears his spotlight has been taken away." Jimin responds sarcastically to match your tone. Mr. Kim glances over and coincidentally catches you looking at him, so he flashes that smile of his before returning his attention to the other professor. You return the favor toothlessly as he walks out of the library, bringing your attention back to the papers in front of you. "Stop!"

"I'm sorry, I really am." You laugh at Jimin's flustered look.

"You and Ryujin need to keep it in your pants."

"Calm down, we are." You rose your eyebrow. "But, let's just say he is single-"

"I'm not even gonna have this conversation with you right now."

"Hear me out." He sighs before looking up at you. "I would literally ride his face and bust it open for that man 24/7. Better yet, I'd ride him into the sunset. I would literally give it all to him, if given the opportunity." There's a slight pause before Jimin responds.

"Are you finished?"

"I think so."

"Never again am I giving you the benefit of the doubt." He waves his hand to dismiss that entire portion of the conversation, but hey, you were just being honest. A little too honest, but sometimes you just had to let it out. "Anyways, what are you doing after this?"

"I have a date with Trader Joes, then I'm gonna meet up with sushi and wine and hang out on my couch." Jimin chuckles.

"Fun."

"What about you?"

"Just head home, probably hop on Monster Hunter and hunt with Taehyungie."

"Sounds productive." You nodded in agreement.

"Wanna have dinner soon? You cook, I clean?" He smirked.

"Or.. you cook, I clean, or we can order take-out. Those are the only two options."

"Actually, I'm not opposed to cooking."

"Just let me know, date and time." He nods. Sooner or later, you both are checking the clock and packing up by the time you realize it's 7:30pm. You figured now would be a good time to grab your groceries since the rush has probably died down. You had quite the list of groceries to grab and you were feeling relieved that you could finally make the time to go.

When you arrive, the lot is still slightly full of cars, but you easily grab a spot on the other end of the lot. You tucked your jacket tightly against your body before grabbing a cart for all your needs. You can't lie, this is pretty soothing to you and you're pretty excited to walk up and down the aisles, browsing at all the unnecessary items you'll probably end up throwing in your cart. I mean, why the hell not? It only means your cabinets and fridge would be stocked for awhile—

"Oops, so sorry." You're pulled out of your exciting thoughts when you accidentally bump into someone trying to step back and bend down for some black truffle alfredo sauce on the bottom shelf.

"Miss Y/L/N?" You recognized that voice. Easily. Slowly turning, you see Mr. Kim and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. Your body goes hot and you can't help but feel incredibly embarrassed for having literally bumped into him, yet again. He must be so damn tired of running into you already.

"Oh my god, I did it again." You facepalmed, causing him to chuckle. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, at least it was softer this time. And you're empty-handed." You flash him a worried look. "I'm kidding, Miss Y/L/N. I promise it's not a big deal." Your expression softened. You can't help but marvel at his beauty and how truly flawless he was.

"You must probably hate me already."

"Well, I don't hate anyone for one thing, and two, I don't think there's any way that I can hate you." You softly smile at him.

"I swear I'm not doing this on purpose, Mr. Kim. I'll be more careful--"

"Call me Jin."

"Jin?"

"Mr. Kim doesn't exist if we aren't in the classroom." You nodded as you followed his lead with your cart.

"Alright, Jin. Well, I promise I'm not doing this on purpose."

"Sure about that?"

"100%." You both laughed before there was a slightly awkward pause. "Sooo, grocery day for you, too?"

"Mmm, yeah I figured I might as well since I'm still in the area."

"Do you live nearby?"

"About 25 minutes away or so in Orinda. You?"

"Yeah, right up in the Oakland hills."

"Beautiful area, I gotta say."

"It is. Sometimes, it has its days. Still can't hate it though." He nodded. You had both pushed your carts towards the cashiers at this point, and you took notice of the ring on his finger. Bummer, you jokingly thought. That would have been fun. You internally chuckle at Ryujin's hoe ass ways rubbing off on you, but at the same time, could you really expect a man like him to be single? Fucking kidding me? "Did you grab everything you needed for you and your wife?" You don't know what takes over you, but the question is already out there. No take-backs.

"Uh," He chuckles nervously as he scratches the nape of his neck. "Fiancé, so not entirely there yet. But yes, yes I did. Did you?"

"Yeah, I'm done. Or, I should be, so I don't grab more things that I don't need." You pointed down at your cart. You both fall in line together, with Jin going first. Afterwards, he grabs his bags and lingers around at the end of the cashier.

"Let me grab those for you and walk you to your car."

"I got it."

"No, I got it." He insists as he gently grabs the bags from you. "Besides, it's dark out."

"Thank you, I really do appreciate it. But, I don't wanna take more time out of your day. I am a grown woman who can handle it, you know?" You chuckle.

"Yeah, I know. And you're also a grown woman who lives in this world and it's close to 9pm." He looked down at you as he continued to follow you to your car on the other end of the lot. What a gentleman. Honestly, everything you told Jimin earlier stands and this man was doing nothing but proving your ass right. He could really get it.

When you finally arrived at your car, he placed your bags in your trunk and shut it close.

"What's next, gonna make sure I get home safely?" You joked, but you were silently cursing yourself because your flirting had been a little rusty and this was not it, miss.

"I mean, I would if you really needed me to for safety reasons."

"Well, that's sweet, but I'll be alright. Thank you, though." He nodded.

"You sure?"

"I promise."

"Lots of promises being made tonight Miss Y/L/N, please don't let me down."

"Just call me Y/N." You gave him a reassuring nod.

"Lots of promises being made tonight Miss Y/N, please don't let me down." He repeated, smiling from ear to ear.

"I won't." You took one last look at him. "Thank you again. Not sure how else I can thank you for taking the time out of your evening to do this." You open the door to the driver's side, with Jin holding it open for you as you step in and situate yourself in the seat.

"It's not a problem at all. Drive home safely."

"You too. See you tomorrow?"

"See you in class." He shuts your door and winks before walking off. With that, you had driven off to grab your dinner and head home. What the hell just happened? It seemed like the most basic thing, but you couldn't shake off how sweet his gestures were tonight. Damn, has it really been that long since you've gotten any type of action?! You couldn't help but think of his fiancé and how she must be so happy to have someone like him by her side. Not gonna lie though, you feel a little heartbroken about it.

"He's engaged." You drank a huge gulp of your wine as you facetimed with Ryujin. She snorted and shook her head. "Our fine piece of eye candy is engaged."

"Y/N, I love you, and he was such a gentleman for that, but you're such a hoe." She laughed louder. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? He is a grown ass man with a fiancé and he's our teacher! You need to stop having these impure thoughts."

"Shush, it's harmless. I was just entertaining myself with the what if's."

"Please. I know you. None of these what if's ever stay what if's. Your curiosity always gets to the best of you." Her tone rose playfully.

"What if I just want to have a one-on-one session with him?"

"See, there it goes. One-on-one over what? How to get dicked down properly?"

"No. To get to know him better as our p r o f e s s o r."

"Okay and why wasn't Dr. Bliss on your 'get to know me' list?"

"That's different."

"How?" You laugh. This kind of behavior was unexpected from Ryujin. You didn't think she'd be so against your hoe-ish thoughts. "There's open office hours for that, or maybe yet, a google sheet for him to get in contact with his students so he could set up time with everyone!"

"We're overthinking this."

"We? You. I know you want that ass."

"Stop, no!"

"Mhm, and he probably would too if you gave him the green light cause you're hot as hell." This sounded more like Ryujin. "This is some good, wild shit."

"Oh hush, no it's not. No one wants anything, no one is doing anything and no one should be doing anything."

"Wait till Jimin and Tae hear your thoughts." She laughed out loud once more.

"That's why they aren't on this call." You groaned. "You know what, I need to not talk about this anymore. I'm gonna go sit in a hot, relaxing bath. Goodbye."

"With Mr. Kim?"

"Bitch, alone. Bye." You chucked your phone to the side and shook your head. Where that conversation go? Absolutely nowhere. You were having a tiny crush on your professor and that was it. This too shall pass.

But lowkey, you'd risk it if he gave you the opportunity.

"You don't do that shit, Y/N. Not to anyone." You harshly whisper to yourself to shake the thoughts out of your head and get your bath started. You just don't do that shit to people who are engaged, let alone in relationships. You don't wreck the home they've built from the ground up.

I repeat: you don't lose that respect.

[lockefanfic]

Business Trip: Pt 27 - Waiting

"Yoo Jeongyeon, we're in a plane with dozens of other people," you whisper back in a faux warning, not at all intending to convince her to stop.

"You're right, I guess we can't do anything here," she admits. There is a mischievous look in her eyes as she bends down and picks up the folded blanket that the airline had left on her seat. She unfolds it and spreads it so that it covers both of your laps.

"I guess you'll just have to use your imagination," she says once more into your ear, her words dripping now with lust.

Underneath the blanket, she reaches over to your lap and begins to undo your belt.

---

The next morning found you in what was quickly becoming a familiar environment - the cabin of a plane on a long haul flight.

 You dreaded this particular flight more than usual, given that it was a flight back to Seoul from Hawaii. While the two week vacation had done little to alleviate the drama circulating around your love life - in fact, it actually increased it significantly - it nonetheless gave you a welcome reprieve from the stress of pursuing Irene and SM. 

 A part of you wanted to track her down, of course, and bring her to justice for what she did to you and your team, but an even larger part of you wanted to stay in that resort hotel room you shared with Momo, where your only worries were what the content of your next delicious, free meal would be, and whether you could keep up with Momo's rather voracious appetite, both in the kitchen and in the bedroom.

 At the moment, Momo, who had boarded before you, was chatting away with Sana over some makeup they had bought at the duty free store before boarding. It being a small private chartered jet (JYP had wasted no expense for any part of the vacation), their seating aisle was only two seats wide. Momo playfully sticks her tongue out at you to indicate she didn't want or need to sit next to you for the next ten hours before going right back to chatting with Sana, who was busy trying to show her the wonders of the small makeup palette she was excitedly showing off.

 You were happy that the two had apparently become best friends again, even if Sana had made no attempt to hide her feelings from you. You were still somewhat concerned about what she had told you back at the resort following the night the three of you shared, but she seemed to be willing to keep her feelings for you between you and her - at least for now. You knew there was still a conversation somewhere on the horizon where you had to confront her feelings directly, but for now you were happy to leave that for another day, and you were even happier that she had made up with Momo on friendly terms.

 The next few aisles were filled with fellow JYP employees you weren't familiar with. You were thankful that the rear of the plane was mostly empty, and you happily claimed the window seat of the last row.

 "Wake me up when we touch down," comes a voice that causes you to look up from rummaging through your backpack for your headphones. It is Seolhyun, who, despite looking like she was paying for some major league drinking the night previous, still managed to look quite attractive in a baggy track suit and unkempt hair. She half-stumbles into the aisle opposite you, throwing herself into the opposite window seat. After buckling in she pulls down the eye cover she had on her head, and within minutes the soft snoring you hear emanating from her corner of the plane brings a smile to your face.

 "I guess they went hard last night, because Tzuyu doesn't look much better," comes another voice, this one sounding a lot healthier than Seolhyun. You look up to see Jeongyeon's bright face coming down the aisle, a soft smile on her features as she approaches you.

 "This seat taken?" she asks, motioning to the empty leather seat next to yours. It was more of a declaration than a real question, because she was going to take it anyway. You found yourself happier than you would've admitted at the prospect of sitting next to her for the next ten hours.

 "It's all yours, Miss Yoo," you answer, her smile widening noticeably as she slips her backpack off and sits down. In her hands is her passport, boarding pass, a Nintendo Switch, her phone, wireless headphones, assorted snacks, and a jumble of cables that immediately begins to unravel - she was beautiful and a genius, but still a bit of a mess, as always.

 "So how badly do you want to lose at Mario Kart, boss?" she asks as she finally manages to unravel her headphone wires. 

 "Big talk for someone who lost at Street Fighter a few nights ago," you retort, referring to the ancient Street Fighter II arcade machine you two had found at the resort's bar and spent more than a few hours duelling over.

 "We've been over this - I'm a Urien main, and he's not in SF until Second Impact. SF II came out five years before I was even born. It's ancient. There aren't even any supers."

 "Blah blah blah, Urien, boo hoo. Just hold that L, Jeongyeon."

 The IT expert scrunches her nose and her eyes turn into angry slits. If it were an anime you'd see the fire of her fighting spirit emanating from her small form.

 "I'll be sure to wave at you in my rear view mirror," she snaps as she sets up the Switch on the tray table in front of you and tosses a Switch controller, with a good amount of force, into your crotch.

 "The only time you'll be seeing me in your rear view mirror is when I'm getting close to lapping you."

 "I suppose I could let you get close to lapping me - that should give you enough of a head start to make it fair."

 "Speaking of head, maybe you-"

 "Excuse me," comes a pleasant female voice that jars you both from your verbal sparring, "we are preparing for takeoff. Please stow away your electronics and return your tray to the upright position."

 You both look up to see the flight attendant standing in the aisle, a polite but stern look on her face as she gestures towards Jeongyeon's Switch on the tray table. You are momentarily taken aback by how gorgeous the flight attendant was, with her tall, fit body and beautiful features - she looked a bit like a K-pop idol that was doing a flight attendant concept. Judging by Jeongyeon's reaction, it seemed she was just as taken by the beauty of the tall woman waiting, patiently, for her to put her stuff away.

 "Sorry," Jeongyeon mutters sheepishly, as she packs away the various things into her backpack. You both give the flight attendant a smile of apology that appears to satisfy her, and she continues on down the aisle to check on the other passengers.

 "Your demise will have to wait until we are forty thousand feet into the air," Jeongyeon hisses as she packs away her Switch, "but you can be thankful for it, because up there you won't have anyone bear witness to your horrific defeat."

 "That's funny, because up there we'll be closer to my tier of Mario Kart skills. That is to say, god-tier."

 "God-Tier?" Jeongyeon says with a scoff, "more like-"

 Her words are drowned out by the rising roar of the jet engines spooling up, and you both smirk at each other as you settle back in your seats to prepare for takeoff. 

 Just before you look away you witness Jeongyeon's smirk turn into a soft smile as she looks down and plays with her hands, a soft blush on her cheeks. It takes you another moment to realize that same smile is mirrored on your own lips.

 ---

 "It was delicious, thank you."

 "You're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it," the flight attendant says with a smile as she takes your finished food tray - a smile that you find, involuntarily, returning with one of your own.

 "It was delicious, thank you," Jeongyeon imitates once the flight attendant is a few rows away, a mocking look on her face.

 "In my defense, it was delicious. Also, she's gorgeous."

 Jeongyeon glances over to where the flight attendant is continuing to collect food trays, a few rows down. 

 "Maybe," she admits with some reluctance, "I guess she's cute and works out or something, if that ass is any indication."

 You smile at the look on Jeongyeon's face - she was cute when she was jealous.

 "Are you jealous, Yoo Jeongyeon?"

 "Of that? Hmph. I mean, she's got a nice bod. And she's pretty."

 "But?"

 "But... I'm prettier."

 "Oh yeah?"

 "Yeah. Also, I bet she's a boring lay."

 Your smirk deepens at the sudden suggestiveness Jeongyeon has inserted into the conversation.

 "And what makes you think that?"

 "I dunno, just something about her. I bet she just lies there and doesn't move."

 "Is that so?" you ask, leaning towards her seat so you are closer to her. Jeongyeon reciprocates, and leans towards you, bringing her lips to your ear.

 "I bet she can't fuck like I do," she whispers.

 You are momentarily taken aback by Jeongyeon's forthrightness, and you didn't know exactly where she was going with this, but you were definitely interested in finding out.

 "Yoo Jeongyeon, we're in a plane with dozens of other people," you whisper back in a faux warning, not at all intending to convince her to stop.

 "You're right, I guess we can't do anything here," she admits. There is a mischievous look in her eyes as she bends down and picks up the folded blanket that the airline had left on her seat. She unfolds it and spreads it so that it covers both of your laps.

 "I guess you'll just have to use your imagination," she says once more into your ear, her words dripping now with lust.

 Underneath the blanket, she reaches over to your lap and begins to undo your belt.

 You want to say something suggestive and cool and cocky, but you were left shocked by her aggressiveness, and was more than willing to let her do whatever it was she was planning.

 Jeongyeon brings her mouth to your ear once more, that naughty smile still written all over those wonderful lips of hers.

 "I wonder what I'd look like in that flight attendant uniform," she says as she finally gets your belt undone and zipper down.

 "Yeah? I bet you'd look great in it."

 "I totally would. I bet you'd love how tight it would fit on me. How nice my legs would look in that short skirt. Maybe I wouldn't wear anything underneath it," she says, her right hand now in your shorts, working your cock to full hardness over your boxers, her slim fingers stroking the length of your shaft, jerking it up and down as best she could.

 "Fuck," you hiss, hoping that the people in the seats in front of you didn't hear.

 "I'd take care of anything you need on your flight, boss," Jeongyeon continues as she slips your boxers down past your shaft, freeing it finally from your clothes, "And I'd be willing to do anything to make sure you're comfortable."

 You shift your hips, trying your best to allow Jeongyeon full access to your cock beneath the blanket. The pleasure she was building in your body was rising steadily, and you close your eyes in an attempt to slow it down and savor each moment.

 "I'd make sure you had whatever drink you wanted. But then again, maybe it'd be me that would be thirsty. Maybe I'd want a drink too...Do you.. Do you think you’d have a drink for me, boss?"

 "God," you hiss, the word leaving your mouth involuntarily as Jeongyeon continues to jerk your cock with her slim hand, her fingers wrapped around your shaft, pumping it up and down, twisting her grip to create even more friction. Her hand leaves your cock for a moment as she brings it to her mouth, where you hear her spit into her palm - when her palm returns to your shaft the lubrication of her spit drives you wild.

 "Imagine me down on my knees in front of you, boss, your cock out of your pants... and in my mouth... Imagine me sucking it, swirling my tongue around your head, sucking your big, hard cock with my hot, wet mouth..."

 The pleasure is becoming unbearable now, and you squirm uncomfortably, your hands gripping the armrests tightly.

 "But I wouldn't be satisfied with just a blowjob - and neither would you. I'd want more."

 "Really... Jeongyeon?" you whisper back, almost unable to form a sentence, "and what more would you want?"

 "Your cock in my pussy," Jeongyeon hisses back, her voice utterly dripping now with lust and need, her own hips and waist squirming in her seat. You look over to her and notice that her left hand has disappeared beneath the blanket as well, and the movement in the blanket where her crotch would be tells you all you need to know with what she is doing with it.

 "I'd pull up that tight little flight attendant skirt and ride you right here," she hisses, her words becoming a little more impatient, a little more needy with each syllable as her hands pleasure herself, "Imagine how wet I'd be."

 "You'd be so wet," you answer, barely able to form the words. All this time, Jeongyeon hasn't stopped pumping your shaft, her rhythm getting slightly faster now as she matches the rhythm of her wrist with the fingers that were likely slipping in and out of her own body.

 "You'd be so big inside me," she hisses, "mmm.... oh! fuck... and you'd make me wet... so fucking wet..."

 "Oh yeah?"

 "Yeah... oh god, you'd be so big inside me... so big and thick... filling me up.... filling me up with your cock... as I ride you up and down... Imagine... imagine you tearing my jacket and shirt open while I ride you... and sucking... sucking on my tits."

 "Fuck, Jeongyeon."

 "Yeah... fuck, boss. I'd cum... I'd cum... cum on your cock."

 "Cum for me, Jeongyeon. Cum for me..."

 "Oh god... fuck... I'm gonna cum... I'm gonna cum... Oh god... I'm cumming!"

 You watch as Jeongyeon spasms in her seat, her lust drunk eyes locked totally on yours as she tries her best to control the pleasure that is coursing throughout her tight, slim body. Her eyes, those large, round eyes of hers, are absolutely enthralling, so full with lust and drunk with passion as her orgasm tides over her. She tries, mostly in vain, to keep her body in control, but her best efforts fail, and she is shaking and squirming uncontrollably, a quivering, hot mess in her plane seat.

 Her hand tightens on your cock, almost painfully, but she quickly regains her senses, and slowly, carefully begins to pump it again, even as she breathes heavily in an attempt to catch her breath.

 "Imagine... imagine me turning around.. and letting you fuck me from behind over these seats," she says, her words breathless, the words of a tired, exhausted young woman still recovering fro a powerful orgasm.

 "I'd fuck you so hard, bend you over these seats and have my way with you," you hiss.

 "And I'd let you... and I'd love it," she answers back, her lips leaving your ear for a moment to make eye contact with you. There is a fierceness, a challenge in her eyes, as though she were daring you to maintain your composure, daring you to keep from cumming.

 "Imagine how wet and tight I'd be after I cum," she says, returning her lips to your ear, "imagine me moaning and shouting your name while you take me and fuck me and ravage me. I want you… I want you to use me, fuck my pussy like you own it… like you own me..."

 "Oh god, Jeongyeon, I'm close."

 "Are you, boss? Are you close to cumming? Do you want me to squeeze you inside me, really make you feel how tight and wet I am for you? Are you imagining yourself fucking me, gripping my hips while you fuck my tight, wet little pussy?" She raises her pace slightly, her hand pumping up and down the entire length of your shaft now, her thumb grazing over your weeping head, trying to pull each and every ounce of pleasure out of your body.

 "Fuck, Jeongyeon-"

 "You can cum inside me later, and fill my body with your cum. But right now," Jeongyeon says, still jerking your cock with each word and bringing you to the precipice, "I want it in my mouth."

 Jeongyeon pulls the blanket away from your lap, revealing your cock, slick with your pre-cum and her spit, and her small hand wrapped around it. She leans over and bends towards it, and you could do nothing but let your head fall back in pleasure as she takes your shaft into her mouth, her tongue swirling mercilessly around your sensitive head. 

 You could hold it no longer - not with Jeongyeon's incessant teasing, not with her dirty words, not with her slim hand pumping your shaft up and down - and certainly not with her mouth, lips, and that amazing tongue on your cock.

 You grip the back of her head, pulling it down to the base of your cock - you drive your hips upwards as much as you could given your sitting position, and you feel the tip of your shaft touch the back of her throat as you finally cum, sending thick, hot semen into Yoo Jeongyeon's wet, hot, willing mouth.

 It feels like hours, the pleasure addling your mind ruining your sense of time. All you feel is the pulsing of your shaft as it sends stream after stream of cum into Jeongyeon's throat as the pleasure and warmth emanating from your crotch radiates throughout the rest of your body.

 Some indeterminate amount of time later, Jeongyeon finally raises her head from your crotch, and you quickly cover yourself with the blanket as you remember that you were in the back of a fully loaded plane full of your colleagues. As she raises her head Jeongyeon locks eyes with you, and you watch her lust drunk eyes as she swallows the load that is ballooning her cheeks. Her throat works slowly as she gulps down each drop of semen, her face so utterly sexy, utterly lusty as she does so. 

 Jeongyeon's left hand emerges from beneath the blanket as well, her fingertips glistening. She brings it to your mouth, and you lick them clean.

 "You should get a taste too," she says as you finish licking her juices from her fingers.

 "Fuck, Jeongyeon, that was-"

 "It's not over yet," she whispers once more into your ear.

 "No?"

 "No. Because the second we get to our hotel, you're going to fuck me."

 ---

 There was a lot to admire in the scene - the way the sunlight filtered in through the horizontal window blinds, painting shades of gold and yellow and red on the white sheets and the pale, perfect vanilla skin of Yoo Jeongyeon’s back as she sat facing away from you on the bed, the covers drawn up around her chest. 

 You couldn’t help but reach out and touch her, enjoying the feel of her soft, warm skin beneath your fingertips and the sound of the soft purr that escapes her lips.

 Jeongyeon kept to her word on the plane - not even an hour since you’d reached your hotel in Seoul she’d pounced on you like a cat, having somehow found a neckerchief, jacket and skirt that was enough to pass for a flight attendant costume. You’d guessed that her interest in cosplay and roleplay had served her well in sourcing the necessary clothing items in such a short timeframe.

 The sex was amazing, as it always was with her. She didn’t have the most amazing body - that was probably Momo or Sana. She wasn’t the best in bed - that was probably Seolhyun or Tzuyu. What Jeongyeon had was a passion for you that made each time with her so meaningful, so intensely full of care and emotion.

 She had started riding you, just as she had suggested when she was giving you that handjob on the plane, but after her orgasm you quickly turned her onto her back, which you knew was her favorite position. She loved feeling you on top of her, loved feeling your weight on her body and wrapping those long, gorgeous legs of hers around you as you pumped in and out of her wet heat and filled her with hot, warm cum - it made her feel safe, and warm, and loved.

 Jeongyeon straightens her spine and turns her head a little as your fingers trace a light path down her back, a tender smile on her lips.

 “That feels good,” she says softly.

 “Good,” you answer. The light plays with her hair, turning it into woven gold.

 “It was pretty damn good,” she says, referring of course to your last session.

 “Definitely.”

 “I…”

 Jeongyeon pauses mid sentence, as though she were weighing carefully her next words.

 “I…” she continues, “I have another costume to wear for you.”

 You perk up at the thought. She was insatiable.

 “And what costume might that be?”

 The girl lets a thoughtful look appear on her face. Her fingers play nervously with the bed covers next to her, as though she could find the answers she needed in the white cotton. You get the impression that she is weighing each word of her next sentence in her mind, gathering up the courage to speak them.

 “I’d wear whatever costume let you see me as more than just a co-worker.”

 Her words don’t take you entirely by surprise - she’d already confessed her feelings to you in Hawaii - or at least, she had heavily implied as such. But to hear her say the words out loud still hit you harder than you were expecting.

 “Jeongyeon… I…”

 “I know, boss, I know - you’re with Momo. And… And I want you to know that I would never in a million years intentionally break you up. But I… I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell you how I felt about you.”

 Your hand falls away from her back; not that you were upset at her confession, or at her for telling you how she felt - rather, you were frustrated at the entire situation, the quirks of fate that left you with women who felt for you, but had somehow chosen the wrong time to do so.

 You sit up in bed, and rub your forehead in an attempt to clear your mind.

 “I’m sorry, boss. I know… this probably isn’t the best time.”

 You turn and face Jeongyeon, and you want to comfort her, her body looking suddenly very small as she sits there, half-wrapped in bedsheets, her long dark hair losing a little bit of its glow as she turns to look at you and the sun changes its angle. 

 “It’s not that, Jeongyeon. I… I just have a lot on my mind.”

 “I know. I’m sorry,” she says, even though you knew she didn’t have to apologize for anything at all.

 “I…  I should go.”

 You sit up and get off the bed, searching for and finding the shorts and t-shirt Jeongyeon had taken off you and thrown onto the floor not even a few hours before.

 “Boss… I… I’m sorry. I don’t want things to be weird-”

 “They won’t be,” you answer, “I just… I just need some time to think about things.”

 A few seconds pass by like hours as you look for your phone, finding it on the floor a few feet away. When you look up at Jeongyeon again, she has drawn her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, as though protecting herself from the harm that might come from the question she was about to ask.

 “Will you… will you go to her?” she asks, referring without names to Momo.

 “I… no. I just need some time alone.”

 “I… I’ll wait for you,” Jeongyeon says softly, her voice barely above a whisper as she raises her head to look into your eyes, “I’d wait as long as it took.”

 You force a weak smile onto your lips, Jeongyeon’s sad, soft eyes hitting your emotions hard. With heavy steps, you turn away from her and leave the hotel room.

 ---

 “Did she do that thing with her hips? That thing you like? I told her to do that. Yeah, you’re welcome,” Hirai Momo says with a sly look on her face as she pops another french fry into her mouth.

 You sat opposite her on the couch in her hotel room, forcing a smile onto your face in response as you try to focus on the dinner you two had ordered via room service.

 “She did. And it was great,” you admit.

 “So? What’s so important that you wanted dinner? I thought Jeongyeon would’ve tired you out, on top of the jet lag from the flight,” Momo says, oblivious and aloof as she takes a bite of her  burger. She wipes some stray ketchup from the corner of her mouth, and you find yourself thinking that small little gesture would’ve been infinitely adorable had your mind not been so heavy with the weight of what you were about to tell her.

 You steel yourself for what you are about to say.

 “Momo… you told me… you told me when we first started going out that I should let you know… when… when feelings get involved.”

 Momo pauses, mid bite of her burger. She places it back on the tray, chewing slowly and wiping her hands with a napkin. She shakes her head a little, as though trying to digest what you had just said.

 “So… wait… Jeongyeon… you?”

 “No… I mean, yes. Well… on her end. I think… I know… Jeongyeon has feelings for me.”

 Momo is visibly taken aback by your words and the revelation of Jeongyeon’s feelings. Evidently she had no idea that the tech specialist had felt that way.

 “Do you… do you have feelings… for her?”

 “I… Momo… I…”

 Momo raises a hand to her mouth as if to cover her shock.

 “You… you have feelings for her,” she says out loud, as though she thought hearing them would help her believe them.

 “I… I don’t. At least, I don’t think so-”

 “Then you can’t see her again. Kick her off the team. You’re the boss. Transfer her,” Momo says abruptly, her face suddenly serious, suddenly composed of a mix of confusion and anger and jealousy and hate.

 “Momo, you know I can’t-”

 “Yes, you can! This is your team. You run it. You can…”

 Tears are welling up in her eyes now.

 “Momo…”

 Momo rises up off the sofa and faces the window. She was usually so strong, so tough, but there is a smallness in her now, and she is visibly shaking, trembling, as though she were struggling to process all that had happened in the past few minutes.

 “I always thought it would be Sana that would take you away from me,” she says, her words and tone quivering and shaking, as though she were struggling to piece together the syllables, “I never thought it would be Jeongyeon.”

 “Momo,” you begin, “it’s not Jeongyeon. It’s just… with you… and Sana, and Jeongyeon, and…”

 Silence reigns. There is one more name to add to the list, but you somehow find the strength to keep from saying it.

 “I just need…. I need some time to figure things out. With all this… and finding Irene… it’s… it’s a lot to handle. I need… I need to figure myself out.”

 Momo quivers a little, and you want to go over there and wrap your arms around her, but your limbs fail you - there is no energy, no will, to be found anywhere inside your body. You curse yourself for throwing this on her without warning. For all she knew her boyfriend just wanted to have dinner together and share a quiet night; she had no idea, no warning that this night would be so heavy. You are shaken, and shocked, that things had come to this.

 “So what… what happens to us?” Momo asks, as she tries and fails to compose herself.

 “We… I don’t know.”

 The seconds pass like hours as you sit there, watching, paralyzed, as Momo stands against the hotel window. When she speaks, she speaks as though she has a dry throat, the words a harsh hiss as they leave her mouth.

 “I… I want a transfer off your team.”

 The words strike you with the force of a train - Momo had been on your team since you started at JYP all those years ago, and to imagine a day without her seemed incomprehensible. But she was right - you both needed some time apart from each other, and with you leading the team in Seoul and the pursuit of Irene, it made more sense for her to transfer.

 “I… I’ll put in the paperwork.”

 There is a slight nod in her head, the barest of acknowledgement.

 You rise from the sofa and begin to walk towards the door.

 “I loved you.”

 Her words hit you as you reach the door, your hand on the knob. Her voice is sad, each word so heavy with thought and memory, of happy days and passionate nights, of laughs shared and challenges overcome.

 You are unable to lie - the thought of deceiving her does not even cross your mind.

 “I loved you too.”

 “When you figure yourself out… I hope… I hope you come back to me.”

 You turn the doorknob, and you leave just as you hear Hirai Momo finally break down into tears that would not leave until the sun rose the next day.

 ---

 Author’s Note: :(

[ofcloudsandstars]

Hey guys so here is my experience from last night lmaoo get ready cause it was unsurprisingly a hot mess full of white people microaggressions and me being alone as the only black person present having to deal with their spiritual charade shenanigans.

It's a bit long but it's a colorful description of the event and the experience taking ayahuasca, a wrap up of my own spiritual and magical journey and also a rant on the caucasity rampant in spirituality lol. A tl;dr is that it's sad that White People have to go across the world to take medicine from other people that have ceremonies revolving around it when.. we literally have our own stuff here that's like.. nearly the same vibe.. But more on that below.

So last night for the lions gate sun lining up with sirius star I was invited last minute to an ayahuasca ceremony in the edge of London kind of by Richmond park. The whole universe really opened up for me to do this Ceremony. 

At first I was like I dunno I mean its hosted by wealthy white people right? Admission was £200 and I was like absolutely Not, not for a medicine taken far away from it's land and I dunno how the experience was going to be like, plus it was on a Saturday night until Sunday morning and I work in hospitality and if I couldn't get Tuesdays off to at least work in the garden center growing food and plants how would I get the full weekend off? Plus the ceremony was already full. Well without even ASKING, or really thinking much about it, for once in like.. 2 years working for this company I got the full weekend off?!?! The fuck!!!!! Like I literally had to go to my director to fight my manager to try to get off Tuesdays which are the QUIETEST day of the week for hospitality but I got the full weekend off on like one of the hottest summer weekends in England. My friend co-hosting the ceremony called me to tell me that I wouldn't have to pay full admission and it was all donation to the tribe anyway (like suggested donation) anything I could give would be appreciated but I certainly did not have to pay the full fee. Then I was supposed to go to the beach with my friends in the morning but that all fell through due to unforeseen circumstances. I was thinking the beach trip would make me unable to go to the ceremony but it was just like.. cancelled the morning of lol. Lastly this guy dropped out last second so there was space for me.I was like damn it was like the Universe reshuffled itself for me many times to do this so like sure I will take this opportunity. Plus my friend in this group did work with the tribe in Brazil earlier this year and they are friends with them and do this to raise money so that they can sustain themselves better, like they are building solar panels for electricity, building chicken coups and trying to integrate little bits of modern society (like the electricity and water filtration parts, not like social media and capitalism lmao) into their lives. The last ceremony they did they raised like 2,000 pounds and this got the tribe a lot of food and funds to buy solar panels. So I was like ok this is also a good cause I always would love to help out indigenous people that protect the Earth.

Anyway there was a vibe about the way the Universe just opened itself up for this medicine that reminded me of Mushrooms. Like it's a strange thing but people that take mushrooms medicinally say it as well like it finds you when you need it. Last night I also got a great link to healing mushrooms as well and it was just the time to open myself up to that type of frequency I guess. For a while before it was a challenge to find for years I’ve been living here, but all of a sudden the universe was like: here you go! Anyway I was thrilled to work with this medicine and ground the lessons I've learned getting pinball tossed around the cosmos on DMT at the beginning of 2020 in January.

-

So yes I got to the edge of London and it was in some beautiful secret entrance building painted with murals of green jungle designs, A LOT of Indian spiritual symbolism everywhere, statues of Ganesha and other bejeweled paintings of Indian gods. It was beautiful but to be frank as much as I find Hinduism beautiful I never related much to it cause it's not my culture. What I mean by 'relate' is that there is this SEVERE obsession in white western cultures looking for spirituality in Hinduism and I never really got it. Like yes it's beautiful like many other nature-based spiritual religions but we are so far removed from the climate and nature of India like why are they so fascinated by it? Then.. there were some red flags... 

Ok for starters I was the ONLY NOT-WHITE PERSON there. I think it bothered me more in this moment cause I just got off discussing with an incredible Earthy witch in NYC who changed my life who's trying to do work by providing a nature sanctuary garden for POC how nature is so inaccessible to us and it's gate-kept by wealthy white people. I could elaborate on that more later but this post will be long enough lol. But anyway, why is this medicine not accessible to POC? When it's something not even native to here either? So it's like deliberately not shared with us?

Then there were just some people's vibes like ooooh boy I dunno why but some people just felt cold towards me? Like I guess they were annoyed at me showing up last minute to their ceremony? But my friend was co-hosting it? Like if you trust my friends judgement you should have trusted her in inviting me like I am not some asshole. But they were like.. impatient with me I guess? Like 'oh you didn't bring a waterbottle?? Guess you gotta borrow one of ours.' like BITCH I don't know what to expect man the closest experience I had to this substance was DMT where it knocks you the fuck out of your body and your spirit gets catapulted into the cosmos like I didn't know I gotta bring shit, damn! And then there were some people I felt like I just didn't want to talk to. Like they already had this cold vibe towards me like they didn't think I was relatable cause I wasn't some white cosmic yoga hippie like them (sorry I am a black bog witch like leave me alone) but anyway the way they were talking about the medicine was kind of irking me too like, 'ooh can't wait to clear some stuff I just gotta clear it out you know?' I am like, Becky we gonna be vomiting into buckets like calm down.

AND THEN LASTLY oooh boy so when you do any psychedelic the space really matters right? My friend like.. assigns me this fucking (ooh boy just typing this story and reliving it I am already getting heated lmaooo) |CORNER| spot and what I mean by corner is that it is in the corner of the room but wedged between the fireplace so you are stuck between 3 tight walls and you can't fully lie down or stretch your legs. Everyone across the room could lie down but me. Then there are like vomit buckets and this white girls crystal grid blocking my path if I need to leave to use the toilet or even stretch my legs so already I am having a slight panic moment cause I hate being confined. In general, I tend to like to pick aisle seats on planes and stand on either corners by the door of the elevator cause I fucking hate being confined. So I say something immediately like: ok well can I change spots? I am worried about being blocked. Can I sit there? 'no someone is there.' There? 'no' etc. So I am just like omg I am going to have to deal with it and some people are getting a bit fussy that I am trying to demand better treatment, so I am leaving it. They at least move the pile of vomit buckets out my way lol. But these white women next to me have also taken ALL OF THE NICE fucking pillows to make themselves super comfortable pillow chairs like one for their ass and back against the wall and they were like: oh no you'll need a pillow too! (Cause the ceremony is 12 hours long throughout the night like 9 to 9) and I was like yeah... and they were like: oh no there is no more!! But like CLEARLY all of the nice cushiony things were not evenly distributed across the room and the few people who did not get some nice cushions at least had space to stretch their legs. I didn't really say anything cause obviously these two white women had like pillow thrones happening next to me and this woman literally said with a pouty face: Aww, now I feel bad cause I have two nice pillows!  BITCH, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!?!?! Fucking christ. See?? SEE IT's shit like THIS that make POC hate that kind of white guilt shenanigans like, oh my god bitch either swallow your guilt in peace or give me a fucking pillow like you are trying to shift the position on to me to pressure you into giving me a pillow which you would either read as demanding or hope that I stay silent and be like: it's ok! so you can enjoy your comfort in peace and be free of your guilt. Like fuck off!!

Then there was this full time astrologer there who has some indigenous feather clip in her hair for some reason. She wanted to say a few things about what was going on with the planets. She was like: I love charting asteroids cause I feel like it's a representation of the divine feminine coming back! (I was going to be like: Me too! But the way she spoke about it was like.. not all of it is feminine? What do you mean?) she was talking about Medusa and eros conjunct in gemini right now and the myth of medusa being smited by aphrodite for being beautiful or whatever and I am thinking like I do not recall this myth cause it was Athena that turned her into the 'monster' to protect her wtf. And wanted to talk about mars retrograde that's not coming up for a while. So anyway I am like: Yeah! I love astrology too!  All that you talked about was pretty cool but I also wanted to mention some big changes are coming up with Uranus going into retrograde a week from now!! :) and everyone just like.. disregarded what I said.. Like she was like: oh yeah.. that's just an outer planet.. OK BITCH like I am pretty sure Uranus, a big ass planet that has to do with revolution, freedom and change going retrograde until Autumn is much more noteworthy than some little asteroid who's myth and energy you've completely misinterpreted being conjunct with Eros. (Eros is moving into Cancer really soon too so the conjunction isn't even going to last that long). Plus I wanted to mention that it was nice that we were doing this ceremony on an Aries moon cause it's like the symbolic start of a cycle yet it's a disseminating moon so it's also like starting off a cycle by celebrating the fruits of our success. But no one really wanted to listen to me anymore though that energy did influence my trip.

Anyway there was a part of me that was pretty bummed that my best witch friend that I did DMT with could not have come as well cause there just was no more space. At least we are always on the same vibe with everything and we would have been laughing about the shadiness of it all or excited about what's to come but I felt pretty alone during this ceremony.

-

So it begins, I got my borrowed waterbottle, the smallest, thinnest and hardest pillow that no one wanted for my ass that hurt more to sit on then the thin yoga mat that was just as thick as a human mousepad and I am like: who knows I may be so out of it I won't notice my space as much. The woman leading this is someone who worked with my friend in the tribe in Brazil. She is Russian and got the feathers in her blonde whispy hair and shit I am like oh boy. She explains what work they were doing and the reason for the fundraiser like the details of what the tribe is building and how they are supporting themselves. Also the tribe that night were also doing an ayahuasca ceremony earlier to sync with us so that they can meet up in the Astral plane which is really beautiful. She also explained how they were surprised at westerners fascination with the medicine. Cause they are like: this is apart of everyday life and there are other healing plants in the amazon too. Like why do westerners have a fascination with this? It is a way to connect with the jungle and cleanse yourself and reset (once again I am making that connection to mushrooms I am like.. the vibe sounds oddly familiar), but they find westerners interest in it weird.

Ok so we start with some ceremonies to open up the space and create this 'fire spiral' altar in the middle of the room. They light the pillar candle and have a tea light for everyone in the room. We each go around to light our tea light in the spiral with our intention allowed. People go there and declare stuff like: I am free, I am aligned with my path, etc.  I think about my intention for this trip and how it feels like another pillar of understanding in my journey to connect with my heart energy, love myself and be proud of my accomplishments cause I really came a long way. I was a bit afraid it was going to be another chaotic DMT experience but I just reminded myself that no matter how bad I felt everything was going to be ok cause I have people in this world that care about me. Even if I disappear somewhere or end up dead someone will come looking for me. And I know that sounds dramatic and morbid but at one point like 5 years ago I really did not have that. I was alone, lost and suicidal. I know what loneliness can do to people and it's nice all of the friends I pulled together in London who are creative diverse witches that all made great friends with each other as well through me and it's like we created this new found family that cares and supports each other. So I light my candle and say alloud: I am protected by love and reflect that in the things I create. Anyway the ceremony leader is like.. can I say something?? BITCH!!! HOOOOO MY GOD I should I have said NO but I was like, ok, she is the ceremony leader so I am like.. go ahead.. She was like: By saying you are protected by love that's implying you could be attacked.. (Like Why the fuck would you say this?? While I am lighting my candle?? You are putting negative energy towards my intention wtf) I was like no I meant it like.. I am supported by love. She is like: ah yeah that's better say that. She did not want to correct NONE OF THESE OTHER PEOPLE when they were saying 'I am free'? BITCH you could have had the same energy like: that's implying you could be enslaved. Anyway that irritated me into my trip. I took the ayahuasca from her and as I was feeling the effects I was feeling more and more adamant about my intentions.

-

I was thinking about the times when I was alone, when I was targeted and attacked by this stupid racist social group in college that made me feel unworthy of friendship and it was hard to make new friends until I was 21 cause it was a city college so most people hung out with their highschool friends until they were old enough to go out and drink so the first two years I was fucking lonely and the subject of like a lot of harassment when I did try to socialize in clubs and would run into those people there. It nuked my self esteem. Plus though I did so much finding friends magic it was really difficult finding friends that into the same things I was. Sometimes I felt like I was the only witch, the only person really into nature and magic. After college I did another spell and met this incredible witch that we synched so much (I have def wrote wild adventures with us together but she was also abusive cause at that point I still did not know how to establish my boundaries well) but I met other amazing witches in NYC but eventually we all moved. The incredible Earth witch who changed my life was the one who accidentally gave me shrooms that were like grown with love and intention that helped break down my mental barriers and help me take charge of my life and finally move out of my house I grew up in.. like completely out of the country and into England to start my life anew. In England I was successful in making a whole community of loving witch friends who really care about me and add to the ceremonies I host. I joined greenspaces to learn how to grow food and plants. I fucking STRUGGLED in my job getting my food in the door with bartending and slaving my way up until I have a cushy desk office job with healthcare. All in 2 years. I fucking hauled ass and created and manifested the life I always wanted when I was suicidal in NYC thinking that this reality was impossible. And every time I feel anxious I know that since I love and trust in myself that I will always protect myself and even if I was worried I have like a whole SET of magical badass witch friends who would help me at anything and I would do the same for them. 

When my roommate was threatening to call the police on me back when lockdown happened (long story) one friend did some healing on her and she like completely came to her senses and apologized the next day which was wild considering that she's such a proud self-absorbed person and would never do that. She realized that she was acting super ugly and was like wow I don't want to be this person. (Also I was so close to cursing the shit out of her lol but we are cool now). Also I am going away to Italy for the first time to be with this gorgeous man who wants to take me around his hometown but I am only going cause another close witch friend just moved to the neighboring town and will check up on me. She made sure to call him without me even asking to look at his itinerary and include herself and her boyfriend in a night of drinks to check up on us lmaoo. She is such an Aries I love her. If anything would happen to me she would make sure I was safe and could stay with her if something went wrong. God I could go on about each friend, how they've helped me with confidence, healing, safety and just feeling loved, valued, accepted and less alone which is powerful in this society that thrives on people not valuing themselves and where pure unconditional love has seemed to have lost it's meaning. One thing I admire about trees so much is how when they grow together their roots intertwine underneath the ground so that they can support each other upright during winds and storms. They also send nutrients to each other and help each other grow. I feel like I made a network of trees with witch friends in London and I am proud of that when I didn't have that years ago when I was alone and actively hated by a group in college. (I mean about the group it was more like a dynamic where a guy who had control over the club wanted to shun me cause he just likes the power dynamic of picking someone to talk shit about like literally if it was not me it was going to be someone else. So one party cause I did have a crush on him, I told him as I was wasted I was into him but then later apologized when sober if he didn't feel the same way. Like it really wasn't a big deal, I was a flirty 19 year old, but it was fuel for him to once again redirect negative attention on someone cause he's someone who's insecure so he likes the power of getting others focus on people and crush them. The "mutual friends" kind of didn't care about what was going on. The reason why this dynamic worked is cause in a way everyone was a bit lonely and didn't value themselves so they were willing to do anything to fit into a toxic social circle to have access to a club room and drink underage on campus to feel included and didn't want to question who the witch hunt of the week was so they could feel like they were in the ‘in crowd’. It was pathetic when one of them would be the new target and they would come to me like: boohoo I know what it feels like. Bitch I do not care and I made new friends and moved on. Fucking cunts.  -Another thing about being protected by love is like as a black woman even though I got some privileges being mixed and half European I still was subject to racism and I am still scared of hate crimes fueled by sexism and queerphobia but I have friends who will support me and understand and if anything happened to me people would care. Like yes some people in this world DO have things to fear about getting attacked cause we are not all privileged in society to not fear getting hurt Karen.

Anyway as the ayahuasca was kicking in I started getting a bit emotional cause I was thinking about people in the world that really deserve to be loved in this society that condemns us for loving ourselves which is the most important thing. I was crying thinking about black kids especially black girls trying to survive in this society or LGBT+ kids and how some people can't even have their existences respected. How people mock others for their gender identity but those people are in a constant battle with loving themselves cause I am sure at the end of the day they feel hopeless at times or giving up and have to fucking battle dysphoria and have to survive in a society that actively wants them dead and its really fucking upsetting like hooo them psychadelics were opening my heart and grief while this white woman across the room was doing some downward dog yoga shit into her bucket so she can wretch into it lmaoo..

When it started kicking in, boy omgg I felt SO GOOD but I was like..  This.. THIS (I got so mad when I realized this)  THIS IS JUST FUCKING MUSHROOMS LIKE!!!!! !!! ! THIS VIBE IS SERIOUSLY JUST SHROOMS, THE JUNGLE EDITION™   like no wonder the tribes are like: what are white people on about? Cause if they all came with their pashmina scarves, harem pants and grinch-finger dreadlocks to my woodland for mushrooms, especially when there are so many magical plants as well but they are just focusing on this psychedelic when there's also like native medicines in every land I would be a bit confused too. Like we were drinking something that was the equivalent of mushroom tea but it made you vomit it back up eventually. Ohh my god lmaooo. 

I felt so beautiful though. Some comparisons if you guys have done mushrooms: where as mushrooms make you feel these gentle pulsations like everything is breathing around you had has this gentle life breathing among everything like it's all connected (like the mycellium under a forest), ayahuasca makes you feel so sensual like everything is kind of just rolling like how the underside of waves look except the waves are large snakes. Like things start getting wavy the way snakes move but slow and sensually, think like the way a bellydancers hips can roll. It was a whole MOOD. Also with mushrooms when you close your eyes you can see these beautiful patterns bloom before your eyes like pastel art nouveau fractal patterns of tree roots, or clusters of bubbles you'd see looking at plant stems vascular bundles under a microscope or the web-like pattern you see in butterfly and dragonfly wings. With ayahuasca when you close your eyes you see like bright neon colored geometric shapes expanding like bismuth crystals, the patterns you see in indigenous textiles like triangles and cubes, sometimes they will lattice together and make beautiful neon snake-skins that gently slither together. If you've ever seen Miyazaki's/Studio Ghibli's castle in the sky it reminds me of that 'lost technology' metal blocks with runes and scriptures on it moving around. Sometimes you will be following this thread of cubes and they'd be moving around like in that scene and in this cavern of blocks you'd see this celestial-looking geometric crystaline being be revealed. It's very beautiful. Though mushrooms can make you purge, it really does not happen often. However with ayahuasca it's almost a guarantee you will vomit it back up.

So people are all wretching everywhere as the ceremony leader is singing some folk songs from the tribe to guide us through our journey. What's cool is that you kind of feel that purge coming towards the peak end of the trip like a kind of brown murky snake rising from the bottom of your body up like kundalini energy starting from the base of your spine bowels past your stomach up until it pokes from your throat opening up that passage way until you feel it in your head and you just release it all out into the bucket. Not really glam but it doesn't taste bad but then again being a bog witch I drink all sorts of murky plant teas so I am used to the flavor palate. (It's like a sweet in an aromatic way and reminds me of one of those chinese medicinal murky teas).

Also as I was realizing the similarities between this and shrooms I was like wow it's a shame that we aren't outside or somewhere with jungle plants at least to connect with that plant energy. Instead we are in this hindu spiritual retreat place but if we just did some shrooms we could have been out in the sunlight at richmond park hugging the massive ancient trees there and feeding the wild deer summer strawberries like instead I am fucking cramped in this corner vomiting into a bucket with this exotic medicine.

As my trip went on I was thinking more about my friends who care about me and support me and how much I loved them and I couldn't stop thinking about my best witch friend that I did DMT with whom I wish was there. Like we would at least have been laughing about this or vomiting together or she would be like: omg this would be such great play-write material. She is white passing but super self aware and would at least make sure that I felt ok and included in all of this. I took a moment to step out of the circle to text her about the details and the woman in the corner doing yoga and vomiting in her downward dog pose and she was cackling and of course since the medicine connects you to that heartspace I was like confessing how much I care about her and how much of a special friend she was to me and was tearing up but one of the ceremony leaders followed me outside and was like: no phones!! It's not good energy!! Omg?? Like sorry I forgot cellphones were the devil's energy, it's not like I am bored and scrolling through social media, I just wanted to connect with my best friend who makes me feel less alone thanks.. Anyway I went back after being scolded and tried to get comfortable in my cramped spot.

Some positive affirmations I did get through all this was that (bringing back the disseminating moon vibe) I was loved and should be really proud of how far I've come. I kept thinking about all the people I love and cared about and how I should express my love in little ways that will make them happy like celebrating love everyday to make sure that people can feel supported cause it was the themes of my DMT trip too but now it was clearer and more grounded. I also got messages that sometimes I tend to be too selfless and there will be a time that I will help others but I should prioritize myself first mostly cause when my cup is full or when I get to positions of power or comfort I can always share that with people I care about. It was a good conclusion to a half years effort cause this also reflected my Glastonbury trip back in November where this witch who read my tarot cards gave me the clearest reading of my life and told me that I would not do well if I did not confront my heart energy and the pain there that was still festering from the social experience at university. So the efforts I went through my friend giving me sound healing and the DMT trip and other stuff has really opened up my heart and helped me to connect with that energy and care about myself more. But there was the theme again of I really need to protect myself first. Sometimes when the white girl next to me was mercilessly wretching and wailing into her bucket I felt so emotional for her that I would fan her but I would get this loud voice in my head like: DID SHE EVEN ASK THAT OF YOU?? FAN YOURSELF IT'S HOT BITCH- SHE OK SHE GOT HER FUCKING PILLOW THRONE WHEN YOUR ASS IS ON THE HARD GROUND. After purging and trying to get comfortable in my corner I would get increasingly aware of the lack of space and how I was starting to feel claustrophobic and it was starting to fuck with me. Cause yeah I got mental health issues, but it's usually under wraps when I take care of myself like, good sleep, food and water but, I was getting sleep deprived since this was an all night ceremony, I wasn't able to eat food to fast before this, and now I can't even fucking lie down cause I was in a coffin of a corner on the hard ground. My muscles and knee joints were starting to hurt. People were so in the zone just like.. doing arm-trance dance shit or throwing up while the ceremony host was hollering some songs which no one understood the meaning to and I felt at that point it was too late to ask anyone to share their pillows. I was noticing as I was coming down from the sensual jungle slithering plane that I was in muscle and joint pain.

I was like: Ok it's fine, the night would go by quickly.. It was not going by quickly.. I remember once I was sneakily looking at my phone’s clock and it was 4:30AM. I was like ok just gotta get through this time will pass.. The ceremony leader was like intoning some frequency so loudly she was trying to channel some celestial dolphins and whales or some shit but it was so high pitched the crown of my head would be vibrating and at first it feels energizing and cool but since my head hasn't had anyplace comfortable to rest I got a tension migraine from placing it on the floor so I could feel the high pitch note like vibrating the pain in my head. Then she was doing individual healings (I also got skipped somehow in this), she would be like channeling the frequencies for each person and making sure they purged what they need to purge and they would wretch into the bucket some more as she was growling into their backs, the feathers stuck in her blonde hair, quivering as she growled, there was the yoga girl now crying releasing her purge again. Someone was sticking their legs into the air and waving them around cause of energy I guess. I am like ok ok time will pass quickly.. what time is it? *sneakily checks my phone again so I won't get yelled at* 4:32am

OH HELL NO. I am trying to calm myself down but like if you struggle with the mental health imbalance I was in the red zone. Like I have not eaten, my stomach is cleared with vomiting, I cannot sleep, I am CONFINED in this corner, unable to stretch my legs, I am in PAIN, I feel alone.. They go around offering everyone a cup again and I am like: fuck it let me take a second cup..

So I start feeling good again, I feel like a sensual snake like trying to slither across silk. (You know when snakes try to slither across silk but they cannot move across it? It's like that you are just slithering in place) but literally I also feel like a clearer message in my mind almost like the spirit of ayahuasca is communicating with me like: Hun.. babe.. You got your positive affirmations that it's your time to rest and celebrate all you're hard work but you need to remember that you gotta honor and take care of yourself as a part of self love and you being confined in this space is not an act of self love. Especially if you do decide to stay here longer your mood and health will drop so low that it will affect others healings so it's best for everyone if you try to go home early. Like I felt the spirit of that medicine actually encouraging me to leave. Like the fucking ayahuasca itself was like this environment isn’t healthy for you lmaoooo.   And I think that's wild.. It's so wild that these white women are all like: We are going to connect with the cosmic dolphin frequencies, and the tribe in the amazon and the human race, but they CAN'T EVEN FUCKING CONNECT TO THE BLACK GIRL IN PAIN IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM, like they can't even distribute their nice pillows, they can't even read that I need help. They SKIPPED me with the individual healing. They were so cold towards me. Fuck it! Even my friend's companion dog who was there noticed I was off. She would look at me with concern in her big eyes and apprehension cause she could feel my pain turning into mentally unstable anger. I was like aw man I am killing the dogs vibe right now but damn the dog noticed and even these white women didn't?! Like I dunno if they are that empathetically shut off or if they were deliberately ignoring me. lmao, Also I think maybe cause I vibe so much with plants and genuinely want to reforest some land some day maybe that's why I feel so at home in the ayahuasca high like the medicine was really comforting the second cup but it also was like: you cannot hide within my frequency to escape pain- cause obviously it's NOT a substance for escapism. Anything but. It was like: it's time to go home and take care of yourself. (Like you'd imagine being on the brink of a mental breakdown taking this stuff may push you over the edge but it was actually very loving, sensual and re-affirming again.)

So the ceremony leaders notice since it's 5AM that most people are comfortably asleep in their piles of pillows and stretched out legs and they are about to go to bed but I go up to my friend and am like: thank you for everything, I think I should go home now.. And the women leading it were all Surprised and Shocked! 'Oh my goodness?? She's leaving?! Going home? The event isn't over!' Mind you this is by Richmond park and I live in north London by Hampstead heath so yeah it is a mission. I also could not afford the £40 uber so I was willing to take the shady public sunday morning night bus home lmao (oh no she'll expose herself to all that heavy shady energies of public transit! 🙄). But I was like the amount of time the bus would take from me to go home is probably not as long as the way time was inching slowly within that space and me being in pain. So my friend walked me out and I was trying to be as loving and cheerful and grateful cause I honestly did not want to bring down anyone's vibe. She checked up on me as I was getting my things to make sure I had a healing experience. I tried to be a little honest in being like: It was beautiful, it reminded me of mushrooms but like from the jungle.. Honestly the reason why I am leaving is cause I am in physical pain and I don’t think I can stay in the corner any longer; and she was like: yeah well ceremony is never comfortable. HOOOOOO LAWDDD. Oooof.. Omg.. Like.. OOF firstly.. The ceremony leaders each had 3 stacks of like thick pillowy matts to sleep on which ONE Of them could have been given to me and like yeah I am sure ceremony is at least bearable when you have a fucking pillow throne and mattresses and not confined in a coffin of a corner spot unable to move your legs without knocking someone’s vomit bucket over. Jesus. I didn’t say anything. I just grabbed my shit and left. As soon as I was free on the other side of the gate I felt SO RELIEVED!!

It was so refreshing being outside on sunrise, free to stretch my legs. I could still feel the affect of the medicine as things would pass me by and I'd see like this stream of energy behind them it was really pretty and cool. Since it was London in Liminal Space Hours™, there were foxes everywhere leaving behind streams of soft light as they'd move around the empty streets. The bus was pretty chill other than this fucking creep of a man walking in this dark cloud and when he moved past me his stream of light was literally some ugly fluorescent hostile neon color I was like wow I can literally see your grimy frequency right now lmaoo. But whatever, anything was better than staying silent in that cramped corner to cater to white women's comfort.

Anyway I got home, got plenty of water, took care of myself and crashed on my super comfortable bed. It was a really good decision I made I could not imagine staying until 9 AM like it was not possible and I am grateful I honored myself in leaving early and listening to ayahuasca's reminder to do that as well.

-

So the conclusions I made:

White people as a modern cultural collective are fucking wild and can sometimes be a lost cause, cause we literally have medicine here that does similar stuff and more like flying ointments which can help you confront your shadow and fly to other planes but they just want to lose themselves in the mysteries of other peoples exotified cultures that still have traditions in tact to celebrate the nature around them cause white people are disconnected completely from the nature that they come from. (Also obviously to clarify I mean white people as the modern white supremacist culture, obviously not everyone individually cause I am friends with a lot of white witches here doing invaluable work connecting people back with the native land, plant medicines and traditions and many of them trying to save the Gaelic language and traditions that are still under threat and being killed off today).

Though ayahuasca can be more of a powerful cleanser than mushrooms, it's essentially the same frequency of plant medicine like the same vibe just connecting you to another land and there is a reason why indigenous people think white people are weird for over glorifying it when we have our own shit. If you are really curious about ayahuasca I mean mushrooms are good enough a job really and will better connect you to the woodlands that you may live in. 

 Most importantly I kind of understand the type of role I need to play and the path there isn't clear cut but it's important for me to keep spreading that message of love. Right now we live in a dark dank ass time line when the Earth is transiting some dark corner of the cosmos and everything is going through it's own nasty purge while we try to ascend to a new and better reality. However this new and better reality is really indifferent towards the existence of the human race or white supremacy so as the earth ascends and has it’s own purges, if people don't fucking get it together, especially white people, we are going to get taken out as the rest of the world thrives and glows up without us. It's so easy to fall into a spiral of self hate cause this shitty evil society we live in thrives on us not knowing how to honor ourselves and love ourselves. Even capitalism has twisted the idea of loving ourselves into something selfish or synonymous with splurging money to further empower stupid companies to give us quick highs from new purchases that will lose it's meaning and later pollute the earth.

On these trips a message I keep on getting is that love and life are synonymous. It's true and sad that there are many people brought into this world without love but what lets life thrive and what makes life worth living is love. And love is really that energy where we are grateful in our existence and the existence of our friends and those that support us and nature that supports us. But often what helps us understand that love is being able to support ourselves and do stuff that honors ourselves. And yes being loved IS a need, so it's important to seek out friends that validate you and that will love and support you and that you can do the same with them. If you find that network you will feel less alone and when you love yourself you will never feel alone and that in itself is true empowerment. When you have love in your life like that you can do anything and you will always feel safe. And I think that's why I was crying at the beginning of my trip cause I know what it's like to not have that. I know what it was like to feel hopeless and suicidal. We also live in a society that like beats down on kids of color especially black girls and like LGBT kids especially trans kids and it makes me so sad to think that there are people here that don't even realize how valuable they are by just existing. Like their lives don't just matter, they are INVALUABLE and that they need to fight for themselves every day and make the effort to love themselves cause honestly once they push through and really figure out how to love themselves they don't realize that they are literally a beacon of light and hope for others to learn how to love themselves too. Once they get to that place someone else who could be alone and struggling can look to them and be like: wow I do have the right to exist and be valued cause this person found a way to do it themselves even though society shat on them the whole time. And it's important to support your peers in these marginalized groups as well and be allies to those who are not well supported in this society. Like this is such a shitty timeline but people need to realize that they are made of love and that they are valuable and that the future of humanity and our peace and well being depends on their missions to find love for themselves and overcome white supremacy's demon ass structure that is enslaving us all.

Ok that is all. If you have read all of this thank you <3

[lakecoded]

most harrowing airport experience survived

[whittakerjodie]

Blind Date (Dhawan!Master X Reader)

Prompt (s) 1.  Could I request a Dhawan!Master x reader fic where they go on a blind date during the master’s time at MI6 and they hit it off really well but the reader is one of the doctor’s companions and he doesn’t find out until the reader starts talking about their travels and he starts to piece things together? requested by @theaussietimelord​

2.  Would you write something dhawan master X reader? Something like the reader falling for him (and that gorgeous hair of him) and he falling too (and maybe getting flustered and confused or something)? Thanks! Also, let's appreciate his hair, because it stopped my heart. requested by @therustictea​

Authors Note: I combined two because I’ve been busy haha! Thank you both and I hope you enjoy

Words: 2k 

   The Master knew that his plan would pay off eventually. Every grueling day of pretending to be human, doing paperwork,  and putting up with the idiots who were employed at MI6 would give him the reward he was always desperately chasing: the Doctor. It just seemed to be taking a remarkably long time. It was also getting incredibly boring. 

“I know we’re supposed to be secret agents and all, but I know nothing about you” One of his coworkers pointed out to him one day. Yes, because all I want to do is reach over this table and strangle you. He thought to himself. But that wouldn’t do- he was the lovable, geekishly-charming O! O didn’t strangle people. At least, not to the public's knowledge. 

   He took a sip of his tea, thanking whatever force in the universe had arranged for him to have, at the very least, access to good food and drink at work. 

“Just busy.” He said with a smile. “Things to see, research.” 

Another one of his coworkers scoffed. “Chasing after the aliens again, O?” 

   The Master gripped his fork a little tighter, resisting the urge to stab the woman with it. That was another downside of his current facade; None of the apes he had the displeasure of being near seemed to care or believe about any of his research, even when the signs of alien invasion were right under their noses. It drove him mad to the point where cracks would appear in his disguise; he would have to kill either to cover up the slip or to temporarily quiet his rage. 

   He would still mess with things when he could, causing enough damage to send the world spinning but not enough to alert the Doctor of any wrong-doing. Every time his coworkers would grumble and run around trying to fix the mess he’d created for them. It was a nice bit of revenge, even if he couldn’t take credit for it. 

“Still chasing after aliens.” He confirmed. 

“You’ve got to give it up, man. Focus on other things. There's Torchwood and UNIT for that, isn’t there? Tell you what, you should come out with the boys and I. Meet someone nice, instead of staying cooped up inside all day. What d’you think?” 

He stared at the man blankly. He couldn’t be serious. 

   It took him four days of pestering before he finally entertained the idea. Each day the offer changed. First, they wanted him to join them on a night out. Then, they wanted him to try and flirt with the computer analyst, making bets to see if he would do it. On the third day, they joked about him getting off with aliens. Finally, on the fourth day, they slipped him a piece of paper across the canteen table with smirks. 

His eyes glanced over the folded note, processing the information. There wasn’t much- just a date and a place. 

“What is this?” He asked, trying to make his tone innocent as opposed to annoyed. 

“It’s a blind date. “ He moved to protest but his coworker cut him off, waving a hand. “Don’t worry, man, she’s a nice girl. Works here, too.” 

“I am not going on a ‘blind date’ “ He grumbled. Everyone at the table groaned. 

“Come on, man. You’re going.” 

_________________________________________________

   The Master tugged on the hem of his suit, smoothing out any of the rough edges. It felt nice to dress up, even if he was half-dreading the night that lay ahead of him. He’d entertained humans before in other bodies, even marrying one despite being disgusted by the idea. He didn’t plan on taking things that far at all, seeing as it no longer served purpose, but if the date helped ease his boredom for a moment he would allow it. 

   Even after days of interrogation he still couldn’t determine the identity of who he was meeting. According to the rules of ‘Blind Dates’ you didn’t know you were meeting him either. The small bit of chaos was the only thing that he was looking forward to.

   He flicked his wrist and glanced at the fancy watch placed on it, noting the time. He arrived outside of the restaurant 15 minutes before the dinner began. Men like O tended to be anxious and arrive early. He pushed open the door and smiled at the waitress, resisting the urge to ruin the night for everyone in the building. “Reservation for...Simmons? I’ve got a blind date” The waitress nodded, walking down the aisle.

“She’s already arrived, but she hasn’t been waiting long. Menu’s and wine list are on the table.“ She stepped aside to gesture to one of the chairs, and his eyes landed on his date for the evening. 

_______________

   When your friend brought up the idea of a blind date, you had laughed. She’d been pressing you to be more involved “in the real world’ for months, not knowing that you were involved, just in a different context. It was kind of hard to keep up with gossip and pub trivia nights when you were busy saving the universe. 

   It wasn’t until the Doctor accidentally disappeared for ten days that you became hyper aware of just how lonely your real life was. You’d missed so much during your time on the TARDIS. The silence and awkward conversations finally got to you and you asked your friend about the blind date that she’d mentioned. 

“I know him, he’s great. You can’t know him, though, that's the point, but I do think you’ll hit it off. “ 

   You were sitting alone at the restaurant, getting more anxious every minute you spent alone despite showing up super early. Would he be nice? Would he even show up? Would you really hit it off? If you did, how would you explain to him all of your absences? Maybe the was a mistake. 

    Your worries temporarily subsided, though, when the waitress led a man over to your table. He was gorgeous. You nearly choked on the water you’d just sipped from your glass, eyes scanning over him. His hair was a dark fluffy mass laying neatly combed to the side, framing his (dare you say) adorable face. His smile was wonderful, bright, and all too charming for someone you’d just laid eyes on. 

He sat down and the waitress left, giving you both a small smile as she went. You shifted in your seat, unsure of what to do next. 

“I should say,” He began. “I’ve never done this before.” 

You laughed, and he joined you. “Shall we shake hands or something?” He suggested. You laughed again, feeling yourself start to relax immediately. You reached your hand across the table and he shook it briefly, grinning. “So. Names next, probably.” 

“I’m Y/N” You told him. “You?” 

“O.” 

“Oh?” You said, eyebrows raised. He paused. He’d gotten so used to everyone at MI6 referring to him as such he’d forgotten to maintain a proper ‘real’ name. 

“Sorry, O is a bit of a nickname, something everyone calls me at MI6. My real name is… Harry.” 

“That’s a nice name” You tried. The conversation was a little hard to pick up on at first, so the two of you mainly focused on ordering your food and drinks. When that was settled, you excused yourself to the bathroom to quickly google conversation starters. He seemed nice; the last thing you wanted to do was bore him. 

When you came back, he was swirling his wine, looking bored. Great, you’d failed already. You sat back down, smoothing your dress. 

“So, Harry, what do you do at MI6?” 

He set his glass back down, as if just noticing you’d come back. 

“I dabble, but I specify in researching extraterrestrials” You perked up at the final word. 

“Aliens, do you mean?” If he was researching aliens… talk about a coincidence. Not that you could unload and tell him all about the Doctor, though, even if it was incredibly tempting. He nodded. 

“Aliens, yeah. Not exactly the most popular man at MI6” 

“Why not?” You asked, frowning. He blinked. 

“Well, everyone there isn’t exactly keen on the idea of aliens. They write me off as a mad conspirator.” 

“Well that’s stupid,” You giggled as you took a sip of your wine. Harry watched you for a moment, then grinned broadly. 

“Yeah, yeah it is. You believe in them?” Believe in them? You’d seen them. Fought with them, against them. Traveling with them. But you couldn’t say that, so you nodded eagerly. “Good that's uh, that’s good. I haven’t talked with someone who does in quite a while.” 

   The conversation seemed to flow much more easily after that, snowballing into a night full of sharing and theorizing. You hardly touched your food when it came. 

   It was nearly 10 at night when you started to feel tired and a bit dizzy from the amount of drinking and talking you’d done. Despite the alcohol, you’d managed to properly dodge most of Harry’s questions like “what do you do for fun?” with vague answers like ' ‘I travel” It felt really nice. You felt like you’d found the best of both worlds in Harry: the fun outlandish bit and the normal life bit you’d been trying to reconnect with it. 

   At the end of the night, phone numbers were exchanged and you promised to meet again. Thankfully, the promise was fulfilled. Leaving the TARDIS no longer felt like you were going in for a long day of work. You had something- or, more accurately, someone- to look forward to. 

_____________________________

   The Master’s blood was boiling with a mix of odd emotions. He could feel himself growing quite appreciative of the time he spent with you, but that appreciation made him irritated. You were human; you were a distraction. Yet you felt like much more. Then, he felt angry with himself for being conflicted in the first place. 

   It was nice, though, to have company that didn’t treat him like garbage. He really enjoyed going on dates with you. Sure, sometimes he was completely lost during the movies, but if he had survived Frozen he could survive anything. He much preferred the ‘dates’ that were spent at your flat where you would read and talk about aliens. 

   It took roughly three months for him to start to get suspicious. Well, that was a lie- He was always on the lookout for problems and deception, but he had just started to believe that you were lacking in those departments. It began when his coworkers asked why you hadn’t made things “official” yet. He frankly didn’t care how you wanted to define your relationship, but it made him consider a lot of the inconsistencies he’d ignored. 

   You were rarely reachable by cell and texts were always answered hours after. Even the Doctor answered Whatsapp messages quicker than you did. Then, there were times when you’d been gone for days at a time. Dates where you’d show up out of breath and in a different outfit then you’d been in all day- even if you were arriving to your own flat. 

   Slowly but surely, he started to notice things during your talks as well. You knew a lot more than you were letting on about aliens. He began to include facts that couldn’t possibly be known by any human scientist or historian. You were so absorbed you didn’t even notice yourself nodding along and even adding some of your own. Silly human. 

   You had fallen asleep on the couch 45 minutes ago, curled up into his side. His eyes didn’t leave you. He was disappointed. Not only in you, for being one of her pets, but in himself for somehow getting attached to you. How could someone so wonderful be such an inconvenience? With a sigh, he brushed your hair behind your ear and connected his fingers to your temple. 

Sure enough, his suspicions were confirmed.

    He sifted through memories of meeting the Doctor and exploring the universe with her. Facing all kinds of villains no matter the fear  you felt. Meeting him for the first time, quickly falling for his charms. He smiled lightly and pocketed a copy of that memory for himself. It would be difficult, he supposed, when he finally got the Doctor back on Earth and enacted his brilliant plan. But with time, and a little effort, he could get you on his side where you belonged.

[hurricanerin]

Not Just One of Your Many Toys 1: Don’t Tell Me What to Do

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale/OFC

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: MAJOR SPOILERS, loss of virginity, power imbalance, general dickishness

Summary: Ransom and Olivia have been thorns in each other’s sides for fifteen years.  They’ve tolerated one another, coaxed each other through major milestones, and trampled on one another’s hearts.  After years spent healing from one of Ransom’s toxic outburst, Olivia finds herself subpoenaed by the Drysdale family as a character witness for his criminal trial.  Their son is out of control, and the one person with the best chance of getting through to him wants absolutely nothing to do with the man.   

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Boston, 2005

 There has never been a moment in my life that I haven’t known exactly who Ransom Drysdale is.  We met in the fall of 2005, right after my dad was promoted with General Electric and my family had moved to Boston from Puerto Rico for his new job. I was 13 and Ransom was 19, and I could’ve told you within 5 minutes of enduring his company that he was a playboy and a Grade A narcissist.  

My parents and his mom, the legendary Linda Drysdale, had closed on our new house the week before.  When my papá had mentioned to our realtor that he had 6 engineer brothers and sisters in PR also looking to move to the Boston area, Linda immediately swooped in and took over the sale.  We had moved into the new house for two days when who showed up on our doorstep with a giant Harry and David gift basket on his mother’s behalf? Ransom.  I’ve never seen my mom so taken with a man so quickly.  It was absolutely nauseating.  

My mom and I had been sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast with my little brother when Ransom waltzed in, ruining our meal.  While he charmed my mom, I shooed Gian from the table, stuffed him into his coat and boots and shoved his toast into his hand.  

“You’re gonna miss your bus, vete,” I said with an affectionate push.

He waved me off, but I could see his smile as he scrambled out the door towards his friends.  When I turned around, Mamá was on the phone, distractedly scribbling on a notepad at the center island.  Ransom had seated himself at our table and was examining the gift basket. After retrieving a pear, he rearranged the treats so it looked as if nothing were missing.  Catching my eye, he shot me a grin, took a bite of the fruit and flaunted it in front of me.

“Want some?”

My mom’s groan of frustration cut off my retort as she hung up.  Without missing a beat, Ransom hid the pear behind his leg.

Clipping her beeper to the waist of her skirt, she motioned at my backpack.  “Ol, you need to get your school stuff and hop in the car, I have to go to the hospital early.  I need to drive you; school is on the way.  A patient needs to go into surgery now.”

I scowled and put my hands on my hips. “I’m taking the bus with my friends. You said at this school I could!”

Already gathering her coat and keys, she shook her head.  “I’m sorry, mija.  Not today.  Come on, we need to go.  I can’t leave you alone at home for that long.”

My nose started to sting.  I didn’t want to sit at school alone for an hour and have to explain to my new friends why I wasn’t on the bus like everyone else.

Carefully watching the interaction, Ransom cleared his throat.  “Mrs. Santos, I would be happy to stay with her until her bus comes.  I’m home on break from Yale for the week and would love nothing more than to get to know your daughter,” he offered, radiating charisma.

“Oh Ransom, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“Honestly, our house is only a few streets away, so we’re practically neighbors.  It would be no problem.”

She hesitated, glancing from Ransom to her watch. Back home, we didn’t have babysitters. Family played that role.  I couldn’t imagine leaving her 13 year-old home alone with a strange man was high on her list of things to do in the US.

Ransom read the situation well.  “Mrs. Santos, my girlfriend is just at my parents’.  Why don’t I give her a call and the three of us can clean up the kitchen until…,” he motioned at me.

“Olivia,” I snipped.

He didn’t flinch.  “Until Olivia’s bus comes,” he finished with a smile.

“I suppose… that would be alright,” Mamá agreed.  “Your family is so kind!”  Sighing in relief, she snagged me for a kiss goodbye and scurried towards the door.  “Behave, Ol! I’ll see you at dinner,” she shouted over her shoulder.

I listened to the garage door close and turned to find him thumbing through the Harry and David catalogue while dabbing pear juice from his lips with a napkin.  I glared at him for a minute.

“You and your mom are just being nice to my parents because I have a lot of aunts and uncles moving here,” I accused.

He looked up, laughing in surprise.  Nodding his head to the side, he shrugged a shoulder, “You’re not wrong.  Did they tell you that?”

“No, but I can tell.”

A soft ping sounded and he patted his pockets, pulling out a phone from his jacket.  He continued nibbling at the pear until all that was left was the core, then absently dumped it on my abandoned breakfast plate.  I walked closer and peered at the screen in his hands while he typed furiously.

“Do you have any games on your phone?” I asked.

“This isn’t a phone, it’s a Blackberry.”

“Do you have any games on your Blackberry?  Like Snake?  My mom’s phone has Snake.”

“No, it doesn’t have Snake,” he snapped as he pulled a headset from his jacket pocket and plugged it into the headphone jack. Almost immediately it rang and he slipped the earpiece on, pushing me.

“Jackson?”  He sighed at me in irritation and turned away.  “Yeah, come up this weekend.  They’re two Norwegian bitches, semi-professional skiers or something. Super hot.  They’re in the US to train but stopping to vacation in New England or whatever.”  He ran his finger along the wicker of the gift basket while he listened to his friend respond.  With an exasperated sigh, he shook his head.  “No, no, we don’t need to take them sailing for them to put out.”

I stared at him, my jaw dropping.  I knew it was rude to both stare and eavesdrop, but I had never met anyone who was so blatantly awful.

“They’ll fuck us because I’m crazy rich, bro, don’t worry,” Ransom chuckled.  He leaned back against the table and rolled his eyes as his friend prattled on, until his gaze landed on me.  His eyes widened.

“Shit,” he muttered.  “Jax, I’m not alone.  I gotta go.”

He yanked the earpiece off and tossed it on the table, leaning towards me with his elbows on his knees.  

I scowled.  “You don’t really have a girlfriend who’s coming over.”

“Olivia,” he said with a practiced smile that actually reached his beaming eyes.  Ignoring my statement, he took me in for a moment, cataloguing my appearance as his gaze came to rest on my neck.

“That’s such a pretty necklace you’re wearing, did you pick it out yourself?”

My insides tingled a little.  I didn’t like-him-like-him or anything, but he did look like a prince and he had complemented the starfish necklace my parents had given me for my birthday last summer.  It was my favorite.

“It was a present from my mom and dad, from when I turned 13 last year.”

“Christ,” he muttered under his breath.  Something about me being a kid.  I didn’t know what that meant, because he made an angry face. But that quickly went away and then his prince face was back.

“That was my friend Jackson on the phone,” he motioned at his Blackberry with his thumb, “We go to college together.  We joke around a lot,” he chuckled, rubbing my shoulder. “You do that with your friends, too, right?  Tell jokes, mess around?”

Confused and skeptical, I nodded.

“And you don’t always tell those jokes to your parents, because they don’t understand them.  You keep them between you and your friends.”

I raised my brow, trying to look formidable.  “You don’t want me to tell my mom what you were talking about.”

The friendliness in his expression melted away, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards instead.  “Exactly.”

 To this day, I wish I could say I stuck up for myself; that I told my mom how much of a jerk he was.  How he was a deceptive, womanizing liar who didn’t deserve an ounce of our time.  But, I didn’t.  Instead, I stooped to Ransom’s level.

My family had money; my mom was a physician and my dad a senior engineer for GE.  We lived very comfortably.  We had spent several months in the US in an apartment before finding the house, during which they had been earning American salaries and making more than ever.  But, both of my parents came from humble means, sent a lot of money back home to their own parents and grandparents, and did not appreciate the materialism I faced every day at the private school they sent me to.

And Ransom had… a lot of money.  He had made that clear over the phone.  I’m not proud to admit that I requested the Tiffany heart tag bracelet I had seen other girls wearing at school in exchange for my silence.  I’m even less proud that, after scoffing at my proposal, Ransom walked me right past the Tiffany & Co. on Newbury Street and in to Cartier and had me pick out a bracelet there instead.  He said he hadn’t bought Tiffany for a girl since he was my age and that he wasn’t lowering himself.  I still have the bracelet buried in my jewelry box, though I never put it on.  Considering its origins, it feels dirty to wear, but I can’t bear to part with it.

 Boston, 2007

 In 2007, we found out my dad had a mistress.  He had paid for her to move over from PR and had been supporting her in Boston for two years.  That would’ve flown in PR, but in the US, my mom’s friends wouldn’t stand for it. (Especially the female divorce lawyer next door.)  That was more or less the end of my dad’s presence in my life.  There’s a chance he might walk me down the aisle one day, but that’s only if Mamá insists on a super Catholic wedding.  

My dad leaving didn’t affect me like it did my mom and Gian. I had my friends and tennis, but Gian was younger and quieter; he and my dad spent a lot of time with little robot projects and those LEGO sets and I could tell he missed him.  Mamá was lonely at home, too; she and my dad had been together since high school.  She had spent a lot of time taking care of him, despite her working 60 hour weeks.

A few of my dad’s sisters hung around as moral support, but Papá eventually pressured them until they stopped coming to see us.  However, there was an additional isolated party within our vicinity who also needed a group of humans to latch onto; someone with the capacity to fill the role of both quasi-paternal figure (figure, not role model), and platonic spouse.

I’d seen Ransom with Mrs. Drysdale; at best, she spoiled her son.  At worst, she placated him with money, demeaned and dismissed him.  Even I didn’t appreciate how she treated him and most days I didn’t like him.  After graduating last in his class from Yale, Ransom took the year off to get away from her. Not a normal “take the year off” where you travel to learn about yourself, or work, or anything like that. Instead, Ransom bought property in the Maldives and imported $500,000 worth of Dom Perignon—the Rose Gold kind—, and flew in ballerinas from Moscow while telling his mom he was joining the Peace Corps for a girl.  When there was fraud on his black AmEx and he had to phone home for help, there was hell to pay when the call came from not Mongolia.  Linda cut him off and kicked him out.

For six months, but still.  This was Ransom.

My mother, bless her heart, would have absorbed all children needing a home if she could.  And, though he was 21, Ransom definitely qualified as such a child.  I honestly think Ransom needed the mothering, too. Growing up with a nanny paid to give you care is not a replication of a mother’s love, which he never had in the first place.

Ransom always showered Mamá with attention, asking how she was with utter sincerity while maintaining direct eye contact, thanking her for the work she did as a cardiac surgeon, and other general sycophantic niceties.  I was terrified that would change for the worst after he moved in, despite their generous age gap.  A freshly divorced woman could’ve been new prey for him.  It wasn’t that she didn’t know who and what he was—she was under no illusions.  But she had a soft spot for the broken bad boy with mommy issues and indulged him.

I watched him like a hawk when he was around her, but he never made a move.  He certainly let her wait on him; she cooked him food from scratch and listened to him talk while she cleaned up the kitchen, but he was never salacious.  I still give him props for that.  It would have been an entertaining game for him, one he would’ve easily won.  

It helped that he was gone half the time.  He still had his car, keys to the Hamptons house and access to his friends’ jets and properties.   I’m pretty sure Richard was also slipping him $50k a month because Ransom rebuilt his wardrobe pretty quickly.

I will admit I was slightly… antagonistic towards him during the beginning of his time with us.  I may have picked a few fights.  He wanted to watch Sin City because of Jessica Alba; I wanted to watch the Corpse Bride.  He left questionable-looking hair trimmings in the shower drain and you can bet I was pounding on his door.  He gave me that look when I thought I had dressed nicely, and I may or may not have launched myself at him.  But, near the middle of his stay, we learned to co-exist, and even had some decent conversations.  I chilled out when I saw how he was with Gian.  

I’m not sure Mamá ever officially asked Ransom to step up while he was living with us, I think the only conditions she had was that he tip the cleaning people an extra $150 for how bad his room was, not have his douchey friends over past 10pm, and no sleepovers with the opposite sex.  But, it was obvious to everyone under our roof that Gian looked to Ransom for companionship.  And, to my utter surprise, Ransom kind of delivered.  He took Gian to the U.S. Open and up to Lake Champlain to golf a few times, and they’d hang out at the house when Ransom was home.  

Then, one day I heard him call Gian his charity project to his friends as they sat out on the porch.  The second he came inside I punched him in the arm over that.  The weirdest part about Ransom and his awful behavior is that he only kinds of means it.  I mean, the idea was there, he had had the thought that Gian was less fortunate than him and needed his help.  But I also know he genuinely loved my little brother and was making spending time with him out to be a bigger deal than it really was.

Six months to the day, Ransom had a moving company at our doorstep at 8am sharp.  He only had a few hanging wardrobes worth of clothes to move into his new apartment; all of the furniture was being delivered by the dealer, but the man couldn’t lower himself to drive his own U-Haul.  By that time, I had developed an appreciation for Ransom.  It was kind of nice to have someone older to talk to, even though he had no conception of what real life was like.  He was okay.  I didn’t miss sharing a dwelling space with him, but I did kind of miss him.

 Boston, Fall 2009

 That fall, I was 18 and a senior at the Winsor School and Ransom was 25 and bullshitting his way through his Master’s of Science in Business Analytics at Princeton.  I preferred not to ask questions regarding his attendance or grades.  I figured the less I knew, the less I could be implicated in some scandal involving the university and bribery.

High school wasn’t a great time in my life. The kids at Winsor were spoiled and came from generations of overachievers.  You could say there were a lot of Ransoms, I suppose; self-serving, arrogant, brutal, conceited, rich kids.  I’m not saying I didn’t share some of those traits, I knew I was fortunate, but I liked to think I was a decent person.  As a result, I was relatively lonely.  I had the varsity tennis team, and that fit my basic  need for socialization.  But not once did I ever entertain the thought of a boyfriend.

As the years progressed, I waited for the mutual attraction for my peers to arrive.  It never did. At that age, even if boys had adopted the air of sophistication they had seen modeled at home and had the ability to charm, they severely lacked in a different department, like intelligence or maturity.  I shut down every advance without a second thought and didn’t look back.

Until, that is, my Senior year.  As leaving home was becoming a reality, I decided I didn’t want to go to college a virgin.  I just didn’t.  Things happen in college, things you don’t always have control over, and I liked control.  I liked control very much.  And I wanted to have control over when and how I gave it up.  And I wasn’t giving it up to some 18 year old I had dated for a three months who couldn’t kiss and also didn’t have the experience to help me enjoy the process.

But I knew someone who did.

I smirked as a key sounded in the lock, Ransom had never given his back from a few years ago.

“Ol?” his voice echoed up the stairs.

“In the kitchen!”

The old stairs creaked as he ascended, heading straight for the refrigerator without even looking at me.

“Hey,” he nodded in greeting.

“Hey.”  For the first time in my life, I was nervous talking to him.  I’d texted him, asking if he could stop by, which wasn’t out of character.  He usually popped in at least once a month to return a book, pick up a sweater he forgot that my mom had washed or have dinner with us.  He lingered, even after moving out.  The flight from Princeton to Boston was only an hour, and it meant a lot to Gian, to all of us, really, that Ransom still visited.

While Ransom dug through the fridge, pulling out some leftover chorizo, I set about throwing together some protein smoothies for us.  He had left a container of ridiculously expensive something something collagen protein at our house the last time he was there and it was expiring soon, so I split the remainder between us.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw him fuss with the microwave.

I raised a brow.  “You know how to use kitchen appliances?”

He took an exaggerated bite of a sausage slice. “Selectively,” he winked.

I bit my cheek to keep from laughing.  Ransom’s “selective” helplessness didn’t need encouragement.

I think what we worked in was companionable silence, but I’m not positive.  I was pretty geared up, so it was hard to tell.  Settling at the table, I laid plates out for both of us, chewing my lip.

“I have a favor to ask.”

“I can’t get you into Yale early decision, but I can get you in,” he said as he reached for his smoothie.

I rolled my eyes.  “I’ve already gotten into Brown on my own, which was my first choice, thank you. What I need is… different.”

“What is it?  I’ve got cash with me.”

“Ransom!  Listen to me. Just let me ask my question.”

“Okay!” he chuckled, his eyes gleaming as he swirled his glass.

“Okay,” I repeated, my heart pounding in my chest. I made myself look him in the eye. All of a sudden I wanted to cry? What if he said no?  What if he laughed?  What if he never talked to me again?

“Ol, you’re getting pale.  You look like you’re about to ask me to skin a cat.”

“Shut up,” I grumbled, seconds away from losing my nerve. I inhaled deeply, folding my hands on the table in front of me and sitting up straight.

“Ransom,” I began.

“Olivia,” he countered, his face comically serious.

“I want you to take my virginity.  Now that I’m 18—.”

“Hah—You what?  No you don’t, Olivia, you don’t—.”

“I do.”

“Ehhhh,” he made a pained face and shook his head.  “I mean, what do you mean by virginy? What have you done before?”

“Nothing.”

“But you’ve given head though, right?”

I tried to mask my embarrassment with a look of disdain.

When Ransom gaped in surprise, I kicked him under the table.

“A handjob?”

“I said nothing,” I bit out.

The corner of his mouth pulled upward and he tilted his head, his eyes narrowing.  “What about like… getting off with each other?”

I shook my head.  

“Sexting?”

“There’s no one I want to sext.”

He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“But like…”

“I’ve never touched or been touched, Ransom.  I’ve never seen a man naked, okay?”

He sighed.  “I don’t do virgins.  It’s a personal policy.  Especially someone like you who has absolutely no experience.”

That stung, but I kept trying.  “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No—.”

“Are you dating anyone?”

“Ol, I don’t date—.”

“Ransom, this is exactly the type of arrangement you want!” I hissed.

“This should be something you do with a boyfriend, someone your age who you care about and who cares about you.”

I groaned and stormed into the living room, plopping into an easy chair.  

“I don’t want a boyfriend.  I’m going to Brown in the fall, so dating someone now would be pointless. And in Providence, between Chi Omega, studying, volunteering, and AMSA, I just won’t have time for a relationship.”

Ransom couldn’t suppress a laugh as he tailed after me.  “You’re as heartless as I am.”

“I’m not heartless,” I argued.  “I’m practical.”

He gave me a patronizing smile.  “You’ve never done this before, you don’t know how you’ll feel afterwards.  It’s sex. Girls get attached.  I just can’t do that, babe.”

"You can!  Ransom, you can.  I won’t get attached.  I’ll leave you alone after.  I won’t text you for a month.  Please? I—,” my cheeks flamed as I looked down at my hands.  Bickering and bantering with Ransom was easy.  Acting like I disliked him was easy.  But being vulnerable with him?  That was terrifying.  “I want it to be you,” I whispered.  “I don’t trust anyone else.”

With a sigh, he perched on the arm of my chair.

“I’m going back to Princeton on Sunday.  Even if we did it tonight, we wouldn’t have 48 hours together.”

“I don’t care!” I slapped the seat of the chair. “What if—what if I get roofied and lose it to some guy and don’t even remember it?  Or—or someone, you know… one in every four women faces sexual assault in college…”

That perpetual, devious gleam in Ransom’s eyes disappeared.  Something brutal and vicious replaced it.

  “I’d kill him.  I’d kill anyone who touched you like that.”

My chest tightened.  I’d never seen him that serious before, not even when he argued with his mom.  It was a little terrifying.  But, I had carried pepper spray on me for years since moving to the city and I already knew my parents were sending me to college with a SipChip, not that I’d be going to parties anyway.  I tried another angle.

  “I know I’m not the girls you normally sleep with—blonde, white, with yachts and horses and trust funds—

Darkness cast over his face.

“Olivia,” he interrupted.  Brow creasing, Ransom lifted his hand near my face, then hesitated. With a growl, he cupped my jaw. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, brushing the knuckle of the opposite hand against my cheek.  “And trust funds are so mundane.”

I rose from the chair and leaned against his leg. “Then why don’t you want me?”  It took everything in me to keep my voice from breaking.

Ransom shifted uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Ol, I’ve known you since you were a kid.  I can’t—I just don’t see you that way.”

“You still see me as a child?”

“I guess, yeah.”

Butterflies flapped madly in my belly, but I held my breath and stepped forward between his legs until our chests were pressed together, trapping my hand between us at his groin.  Praying that I applied what I had read correctly, I timidly felt for his cock. He grunted when I wrapped my hand around the outline of its shape and followed it with a shy stroke.

“I am not a child,” I husked in my best seductress voice.

“You said you’d never touched or been touched,” he accused through clenched teeth.

Both proud and embarrassed, I ducked my head. “I don’t like entering a situation unprepared.  I read a lot and watched some videos.”  Realizing the implications of my statement, I turned beet red.  “For research, I mean!”

That earned me a genuine smile.  Sliding one hand around my waist he pulled me closer, then used the other to firmly guide my palm over his half erect cock, rubbing it back and forth.  I blushed as I felt him harden under my fingers.

“What else did you research?”

"Stuff,” I mumbled.

Rubbing his thumb along my hipbone, his gaze fell to his lap, watching my hand work over his erection.  Then his eyes deviated to my front, trailing up my belly to my chest, which was, admittedly, heaving, and slowly made their way to my face. Looking someone in the eye had never made me clench down there before.  It was unexpected, but not unappreciated.

I could see Ransom thinking, his eyes flicking back and forth between mine as he reasoned with himself.

“You need to think this over, you need to really consider what you’re asking me and decide that’s what you want,” he murmured, his voice rough.

My pussy throbbed at the sound, and it took extra concentration not to let my eyes close.

“When have I ever made a rash decision about something this important?  I started thinking about this a year ago.”

He exhaled a laugh, shaking his head.  “Of course you did.”

When his hips gave an involuntary thrust against my palm, he gently pulled my wrist away.

“That’s enough for now.”

Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes.  “Did I do it wrong?  Is that a no?”

He massaged his closed eyelids with his index finger and thumb, exhaling shakily.  “It should be a no.  A good man would say no.”  

Drawing me against him once more, I whimpered as he ground his cock against my belly.  “But I’ve never been a good man, have I, Olivia?”

He didn’t give me an opportunity to respond. The kiss was firm, but delicate. No tongues or biting or slipping or sliding, just lips pressed together, gently massaging.  When he sucked at my lower lip I surprised both of us with a soft moan, causing him to bury his hand in my hair and tilt my head for better access.

I completely lost track of everything, because the next moment of consciousness I had was gasping for air as he pulled away. My fingers were tangled in his hair, my hand clutching his sweater like it was a lifeline, and his thigh was situated between both of mine, applying pressure to my clit that was making me see stars.  Now my mouth was wet, but I didn’t care.

Once I could see straight, I dove for his mouth again, but he stopped me with an unyielding grip on my chin.

“Change,” he rumbled.  “We’ll go to dinner at Menton, I’ll pull some strings and get us a table.  Then back to my apartment.”

I squinted, still reeling from the kiss. “We’re not going to Menton first, that makes it sound like a date.  This isn’t a date, we have one mission to accompli—.”

He gaze grew cold.  “If we do this, we’re doing it my way.  You’re going to listen to me.  I’m in charge.”

My eyes flicked back and forth between his as my entire face and neck glowed pink.  

“Okay,” I whispered.

“Say ‘Yes, sir,’” he corrected me.

“Yes, sir,” I repeated softly.

The pleased smile that spread across his lips gave me a warm feeling in my belly.

“Tonight, I’m going to destroy your pussy,” he whispered against my ear, sucking at my lobe, “I’m going to make you come like a whore.”  Moving to my other side, he spoke softly again, his warm breath against my cheek making me shiver.  “Your future husband will resent me for the rest of your lives, because I’m going to ruin you for any other man.”  Nuzzling my nose with the tip of his, he kissed the corner of my mouth.  “And you’re going to love it.”

I couldn’t help myself.  I was throbbing, there was pressure building in my belly and the man had barely laid a hand on me.  With a high pitched whimper, I sought his mouth again, but he wrapped his huge hand around my throat and shook his head as he held me back.

“Go.  Pick out something nice to wear.  Something you feel pretty in.”

Mouth dry, I nodded.  He caught my arm as I went to leave.

“And Olivia?  Not a scrap of clothing underneath.”

[litniche]

Love Will Find a Way

Read Ch. 5 on ao3

CHAPTER 5: Girl I’m Gonna Miss You

Brunch was lovely. They ate on the rooftop, overlooking the bustling streets of Paris that Jamie and Dani were content to ignore given each other’s company along with Hannah’s and Owen’s. Dani and Jamie ate more than their fill, loathe to leave any of Owen’s cooking behind.

 “I think the Wingraves’ new cook is afraid of spices,” Dani whined.

 Hannah laughed, covering her mouth.

 “I mean it! Let me put it to you this way. Owen, if you were a dish, you'd be something like this crepe--understated, but with flavor that bursts with love and a hint of something that makes you always want another bite. This new cook? She's Wonderbread. I mean, she thinks salt gives a dish a punch.”

 Owen chuckled into his champagne flute. “It’s nice to be missed.”

 “I’m not sure someone who still can’t brew a proper cup of tea should point fingers,” Hannah challenged.

 “She’s in training,” Jamie teased as she took Dani’s hand in hers to kiss it. She took a drag from her cigarette, making Dani jealous of the little cancer stick.

 Dani sat up and began to protest that her tea was just fine, but quickly deflated back into her seat. They were right. Her tea tasted like ruined boiled water. Somehow.

 “So, anyway” Dani interrupted the laughter that was still going at her expense. “Owen, I have a favor to ask.”

 Owen tilted his head. “What is it, Rambo?”

 Dani rolled her eyes at the nickname. “That was one time.”

 “You accosted me, woman.”

 “I thought you were that Peter creep!”

 “Which is ridiculous. I’m much better looking. Besides, after you knew that I wasn’t Peter, you put the fire poker down and punched me in the shoulder.”

 “You scared me!”

 “I’m delicate!”

 “Oi! It’s what you get for leaping out on innocent Americans, mate” Jamie chimed in as she winked at Dani.

 Dani chuckled. “Anyway, I’m serious. I want to ask you something,” she said. “You know my dad passed away when I was young, and my mom and I aren’t exactly close. So, I was wondering if you would be the one to walk me down the aisle.”

 Hannah held her hand over her heart. “Oh, what a lovely idea,” she said and smiled at Owen.

 Placing his champagne flute on the table, Owen reached for Dani’s hand. She grasped it as he said, “Of course aisle do it.”

 “He’s got the dad jokes down,” Jamie snorted.

 Dani grinned as she squeezed his hand. Her eyes began to water when she saw Owen’s glistening. “Oh my god, come here,” she said. She stood from her chair and walked around the table to give him a hug.

 Owen kissed the top of her head as they parted. He eyed Jamie. “Does that mean I owe you ‘the shovel talk’?”

 Jamie arched her brows. “If I ever break this woman’s heart you have my full permission to do me in. But that leaves one more question.” Her eyes found Hannah. “Will you walk with me, Hannah? You’re the closest thing I have to family. You’ve taken care of me; told me off when I needed it. I can’t think of a soul that’s more fit for the job.”

 Hannah’s hands reached across the table to take Jamie’s. “I would love to.”

 “Great, because we have another favor to ask you both,” Dani said with a grin.

 Hannah and Owen exchanged curious looks. “What is it?” Hannah asked.

 “Will you be our maid-of-honor and best man, too? We want you to stand with us at the altar, not just walk us to it.”

 Owen looked as if he were contemplating the matter. “Just one question: do I get to pick the dress?”

 Hannah shoved his shoulder. “He means ‘yes’.”

 “Gender norms be damned. You can wear whatever you like, so long as the Mrs. approves,” Jamie smirked as she tilted her head toward Dani. The au pair’s stomach performed a pleasant, nervous flip at the word Mrs. coming from Jamie’s lips.

 “Right,” Jamie said, “I think we’d better raise our glasses.”

 Owen was first to do so. “To the brides.”

 “To all of us,” Dani said as she raised hers.

 “To family,” Hannah said.

 They smiled warmly at one another. “To family,” each of them echoed as their glasses clinked together.

 ***

 “This is really stupid,” Jamie said, seething at the airport gate. She sounded downright pissed-- like that time Miles ruined a rose bush in the Wingraves’ garden.

 “I know, but it’s just a few weeks,” Dani said for the thousandth time. She looked at her phone, making sure her own flight was on time, trying to distract herself from their inevitable parting. That, and she found herself oddly attracted to Jamie when the gardener was angry, which wasn’t making this any easier.

 “Exactly! A few weeks--not to mention hundreds of dollars--for me to go back to Vermont and then end up right back here.”

 “So don’t go,” Dani shrugged.

 “I’m telling you, Dani, it’s--” She stopped, giving Dani a perplexed look. “Wait, that didn’t take very much convincing.”

 “Well, how important can making sure we have a finished floor in the shop be?” Dani tried to joke.

 “If I could trust the contractor to keep his word, but he acts like work is poison. I’d do it myself if the landlord would let me. But, no, he hires a bloke his son went to school with. And if the floors aren’t finished, the walls won’t be finished. We have to have the shop ready. We can’t miss the peak holidays, and--”

 Dani broke Jamie’s rambling (that she had already heard a dozen times before on the subject) with a searing kiss. She held Jamie close, nuzzling their noses together as she tried to calm her future wife by stroking her back and rubbing her sides. “I know. And I know you don’t want to leave. I  really  don’t want you to go back either, but we have so many more years together. We’re getting married,” she said, letting her awe at the notion reveal itself in her voice. “We have our whole lives together to look forward to.” She breathed deeply, trying to hear the words for herself as she repeated the mantra. “We have so many more years together.”

 “I’d like it known, right now, that I never want to live on separate sides of the world again.”

 “I second that,” Dani agreed and kissed her. She let her bottom lip brush against Jamie’s slowly, savoring the magnetic pull she felt there. Jamie quickly captured it between hers, gently nibbling it and then letting their lips mingle once more before deepening the kiss to the point that it became somewhat indecent considering the public setting.

 “You could come back with me,” Jamie suggested after a moment.

 Dani knew Jamie wasn’t serious--that she was stalling their parting-- but she reminded Jamie of the contract with the Wingraves.

 “Henry wouldn’t care,” Jamie protested.

 “I know, but we get that bonus if I finish. It’ll practically pay for the reception dinner. Besides, we can do this. A few weeks and then we’re married,” she said, lacing their fingers together and holding Jamie’s hands in hers at their sides. She swung them idly as she let a dopey-in-love grin show itself on her lips. “No more video calls and no more falling asleep with our phones on our pillows. We’ll get married, go on our honeymoon, and before we know it, we’ll be together in Vermont.”

 “At Christmas,” Jamie smiled at last. “A white Christmas in Vermont.”

 “Snow will be nice,” Dani said as she kissed Jamie’s temple, letting her nose be tickled by brown curly locks as she inhaled Jamie’s scent in an attempt to savor it just a little while longer. She held them together, rocking their weight back and forth to soothe them both.

 “Snuggled up with a cup of tea and a book and my wife,” Jamie sighed happily at their shared daydream. Dani felt Jamie’s shoulders relax. “Okay. It’s just a few weeks.”

 “Just a few weeks.” NOTE: Thank you so much for reading! Don't worry, just because they're apart doesn't mean they won't have some fun before the wedding ;) Any likes and/or reblogs are super lovely! Thanks again, and love to you all. ^__^ Also, don't forget I'm open to prompts to insert if/when I can :D

[artemispanthar]

Tentative Title: Movie Date Originally written: 09/12/16 Word Count: 3,119 Intended plot: Pearl goes on a movie date with Mystery Girl.

Notes: Extremely self-indulgent Pearl/Mystery Girl ship fic written shortly after “Last One Out of Beach City” aired. I was actually super motivated to finish this one but the fall of 2016 was when I got really, really sick and almost died so it unfortunately fell to the wayside and I never got to pick it back up. This is a pretty good example of how I usually write, though, as I usually end up writing the beginning and end of a story first, write in the scenes I have a clear picture of, and then fill in the spaces inbetween. Since this is unfinished, it kinda just jumps between scenes midsentence, so I’ll indicate the scene changes with a — mark

I’m kinda tempted to finish this one too. It’s self-indulgent to the point of it being embarrassing but that made it really easy to write

Side note: You may or may not recall my big rambly post (here) about a fictional horror series called Helltel from a few years back. Well, it was developed entirely due to this fic and tbh it’s likely none of the information I made up was even going to come up in it, I just got carried away lol

It had been several weeks since the night of the rock show and Pearl had already experienced more of Earth and human interaction in that short time than in the last 6000 years she’d spent on the planet. Sure, it was mostly house parties and bonfires, but it was all so different and new and exciting. Part of her wanted to kick herself for not exploring this side of Earth life before, but another, more rational side told her she could never have experienced this way before now. She certainly wouldn’t have felt so comfortable shamelessly flirting with that mystery girl she’d met at the show, and that was really what made those social outings so enjoyable.

Pearl had seen the girl a total of three times after getting her number. The day after the show, after working up her nerve (and goaded on by Amethyst) she borrowed Steven’s phone and gave the girl a call. They finally exchanged names (hers was Sheena, which Pearl thought was lovely) and compliments. Pearl found her just as captivating on the phone as she was in person. After that initial call, Sheena began sending her texts, which Steven explained as short written messages people exchange on phones. They texted back and forth for a day (mostly idle chatter) before Greg stopped by and gave Pearl a new phone. He had said it was so she didn’t have to keep asking to borrow Steven’s and also “for privacy”, whatever that meant. Pearl had refused at first, but Greg insisted, “We can call it a late payment for when you fixed the van. Besides, what’s the point in having money if you can’t share it?”

 —

Pearl was shaken from her musings by someone tapping her in the back. She jolted slightly, startled, and turned to see a short woman with blonde hair. The woman took half a step back, pulling her arm away.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just wanted to ask if this was the line for the Splatterday event.”

“Oh, uhm…” Pearl looked around. She wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. But there was only the one line, so it had to be, right? “Yes, I think so.”

“Ah, thanks!” The woman said, giving Pearl an appreciative nod and a warm smile. Pearl smiled back. As she went to turn away, the woman spoke again.

“Hey, aren’t you one of Steven’s… uhm, one of the Gems Steven lives with? You're… Pearl, right?”

Oh! That’s why this human looked so familiar, she was a friend of Steven’s! She was one of the donut children from that donut shop Steven liked. She was the nice one, who was always kind to Steven.

“Yes! And you’re from the donut shop, correct?”

“Right! Are you here with Steven? Because I don’t think they’re going to let him in… Or is this a Gem thing? Should we evacuate the theater?” The woman laughed awkwardly, half-joking, half-completely serious.

“Oh, nono, it’s completely safe, especially with me here. And Steven’s at home, I’m actually here with…” Pearl said turning to point out her companion. As if on cue, Sheena was already on her way over. She stopped beside Pearl and handed her a small piece of paper.

“Here’s your ticket. Looks like they’re showing Helltel four and five tonight.”

“Oh dear, would I have had to have seen the first three for it to make sense?”

“Naw, they’re not gonna make sense anyway.” Sheena laughed, putting her hands in her pockets and nodding toward the woman Pearl had been talking to. “Who’s your friend?”

“Oh! Sheena, this is… uhm…” Pearl paused as it suddenly occurred to her she didn’t actually know this woman’s name, and though her knowledge of human social etiquette wasn’t the greatest, she was pretty sure calling her “the Donut Child” would definitely be peculiar.

Mercifully, though, the woman interjected.  “Sadie.”

“Yes, right, Sadie! She lives next door to the temple.”

“Well, I don’t live there, I work there. But I’m there so often it does kinda feel like I live there.” The woman, Sadie, laughed. “It’s the Big Donut. I think I’ve seen you in there sometimes, actually.”

“Oh, yeah.” Sheena said, nodding. “Cool place. Decent coffee.”

“Thanks, it comes from a big bag in the backroom.” Sadie said, causing both Sheena and herself to laugh. Pearl didn’t really ‘get it’, but laughed as well.

 —

They followed the crowd into a long, narrow room with a large screen. It had an aisle running down the middle toward the screen with about fifteen rows of four seats on either side of the aisle. After looking around for a moment, Sheena led Pearl to a row of seats to the left of the aisle, five rows from the back. Sheena motioned for Pearl to sit first, and she shuffled into the narrow space between the rows to get to her seat. She then paused, perplexed. The seats were very peculiar, they had normal fabric covered backs but the seats of it were strange, narrow columns that didn’t look at all comfortable to sit on. Nothing Pearl couldn’t handle, of course, so she went about trying to perch on the awkward seat, which proved rather difficult as it wobbled terribly. Then she heard a snort to her right as Sheena stifled a laugh.

“You gotta push the seat down and then sit on it. Like this.” To demonstrate, Sheena pushed down on the odd column on the seat closest to the aisle, causing it to fold out into a typical-looking cloth-covered seat. She then sat down on it, settled in, and gestured for Pearl to try. Pearl looked at the seat in front of her and gingerly pushed down on the folded seat. It folded out into a seat just as Sheena’s had. Pearl released her hold on it and it snapped back into its original, folded position. Fascinated, she pushed it down and released it a couple more times. It creaked audibly but otherwise seemed to operate perfectly. Finally, she sat down on it, testing her weight on it.

“Oh, it folds up when not in use to make space and it folds out for use, with one’s weight keeping it down. That’s very clever!” Pearl marveled. It was a simple mechanism, but she was always impressed by what humans were capable of building. Primitive, compared to Gem technology, of course, but humans always seemed to figure out ways to make what they needed or clever ways to engineer something to make it more useful. That was probably her favorite thing about humans. In the beginning they had nothing and they figured out how to make everything they needed, taught themselves how. In this way they kind of reminded her of… well, herself.

“Yeah, I guess it is kinda clever.” Sheena said, amused. She leaned on the armrest between them. “Y’know, you’re really cute when you geek out about this stuff. Makes me think about stuff different than I used to.”

“Oh! Well, I’m happy to hear that

 —

The room got louder and louder as more people continued to pour into the theater, taking seats and idly chatting. A human couple squeeze by Pearl and Sheena, murmuring ‘excuse me’s, and took the seats just to Pearl’s left. Pearl’s nerves prickled and she removed her arm from the armrest between her and the stranger, shifting slightly to be closer toward Sheena. She bounced her leg and absently scratched at the worn fabric on the armrest to her right. Pearl didn’t mind the crowds, really, she had expected it and prepared herself for it. But the noise level rising, the heat from all the bodies, the bright fluorescent lights, and the feeling of being boxed in… it was just a bit much all at once. It brought up unpleasant feelings and memories. She shook her head to dispel them, she wasn’t going to dwell on the past and ruin the evening,

“Are people going to be able to hear the movie with all this noise?” Pearl muttered.

“They’ll be quieter once the lights are off. It buggin’ you?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, I’m fine, I’m fine.” Pearl said. After a few seconds, she felt Sheena’s hand rest on her own. She stopped scratching at the armrest and turned her wrist so she could hold Sheena’s hand. It was comforting. She bounced her leg at a slower pace.

“Y’know, we could leave if you’re not feeling it.”

“No, no, I’m alright. I want to do this. I’m just nervous.”

“Hmm. Do you want to switch seats? You could be on the aisle, just get up and go if you need to.”

“Oh,” Pearl looked around. Maybe it would help to have that option. “Could we? If it’s alright with you.”

“Psh, yea, I’m cool wherever.” Sheena said, letting go of Pearl’s hand and standing up. She stepped into the aisle to allow Pearl to move over to her seat, then squeezed by Pearl and sat down.

Pearl sighed. It was such a little change, but it really did make her feel much better. She didn’t feel boxed in anymore, having that free space to her side was doing wonders.

“Thank you, this is much better. Sorry for being a bother.”

“Eh, it’s nothing. Sometimes you just gotta feel like you can go whenever. That’s what I like about my bike, I used to have a car but it always made me feel like I was stuck.”

“Oh? I’ll have to try that out sometime. I used to get that feeling when I’d pilot spaceships but… well I don’t get much opportunity to do that these days.”

Sheena laughed. “Well, I doubt it’s gonna feel like flying a spaceship. But it is pretty cool anyway. I could take you for a ride on in sometime.”

“Oh! That would be lovely. I-” Pearl stopped talking and sat up straighter when the lights suddenly turned off. The large screen lit up and after flickering for a few seconds began running advertisements for the theater.

Sheena leaned over to Pearl and whispered “It’s about to start, so we can’t talk too loud.” Pearl nodded. She did know that much (she got the run down of movie theater etiquette from Steven) but appreciated that Sheena thought to tell her.

The screen turned black and slowly faded into an image of a dilapidated hotel on a hill, shrouded in fog. Rain battered the building in a way that was clearly not actually rain, probably some sort of sprinkler set up. It looked very fake, in Pearl’s opinion. The movie cut to the interior of the building

—

Pearl turned to walk away, then turned back. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Sheena, wait.”

“Yea?” Sheena paused, her helmet partially on her head. She took it back off and hung it on the handle of her motorcycle.

Pearl took a few steps closer, wringing her hands for a moment before clasping them together, to stop herself from fidgeting too much. “I… uhm… I had a very lovely time tonight. Wonderful, in fact. I hope you did as well.”

“I did.” Sheena said, amused.

“Good! Good. And, well, after such a nice night I’ve heard it’s customary to… well, I mean, I’m not an expert on human dating practices by any means, of course, but I thought it would be nice if…”

“Yea?” Sheena closed the distance between them, causing Pearl to need to look up at her.

“What I’m trying to say is,” Pearl took a breath. She could do this. “I would very much like to kiss you, if… if that isn’t too forward. I completely understand if you would prefer not to, of course, I was just thinking…”

Sheena didn’t say anything, instead she brought one hand to rest on Pearl’s cheek, gently guiding Pearl to tilt her head up. She leaned down slightly and Pearl stretched up, their lips met and…

It was amazing. Sure, it wasn’t the bombastic fireworks like the first time she kissed Rose (which was the first time she kissed anyone, ever), after a hard won victory during the Gem War, but it still felt electric. Kissing a human was so much different from kissing a Gem, Pearl found. Gems can simulate the human body in many ways, simulate skin texture, teeth, saliva, all that. But it’s just a simulation, incredible but never quite the same. Humans… humans are cohesive yet imperfect. Always imperfect. There’s just no way to properly replicate the random imperfection of the human body accurately. Her lips were warm and soft, but not uniformly so. Some spots were softer, wetter, warmer. And it changed, very slightly, even over the short time they kissed. And that lip ring! Pearl wasn’t quite sure what that would feel like, in fact it had puzzled her because surely it would just be in the way? But strangely it wasn’t. It was noticeably there, yes, but it didn’t seem out of place. It was a cooler, harder texture comparatively, and interesting in a good way. Everything about this felt… right, imperfect and different yet completely right.

It felt like it lasted ages but it was only a few seconds before they pulled apart. Pearl stared up at Sheena, breathless. Figuratively speaking, of course, as she didn’t really need to breathe and yet felt out of breath all the same. “Wow…”

Sheena laughed, soft and low. “Yeah, wow… Y’know, I gotta tell ya, I’ve been waiting to kiss you for a while now. Not that I mind taking things slow, of course.”

“Oh goodness, I’m sorry! I wasn’t sure how long it’s customary for humans to wait.” Pearl blushed, embarrassed. Everything on Earth moved so fast! It was hard for her to gauge how time worked for humans. Gems, being ageless, didn’t really have need to rush. “I didn’t want to rush into anything or pressure you.”

“Naw, it’s alright, I get it. There’s not any customary way of doing these things, really. It’s just what feels right, I guess. Some people go fast, others go slow. It’s all good.” Sheena paused, thinking, then said “What’s customary where you’re from?”

“Oh, nothing. Gems don’t really… have these sorts of relationships. Not on Homeworld anyway. We weren’t meant to or allowed to. Romantic relationships were completely unheard of. Kissing as a concept doesn’t exist there, or didn’t, I suppose I’m not really up on how things are there now.”

“Damn, really? Wow. That’s… that’s really awful. I’m sorry.”

Pearl hummed in agreement. “It was. I was on Earth for several years before I learned what kissing was. And even more before I ever tried it myself.”

“Oh, you’re really behind, then.”

“Behind?”

“On kissing. You should’ve been kissed way more in your life. But I’ll be more than happy to help you catch up.” Sheena said, leaning in.

“Oh!” It was a line. Cheesy, maybe, but Pearl appreciated it. “Oh, I think I’d like that.” She leaned in as well and they kissed again.

They broke after a moment. Pearl sighed, happily. “You know, in the beginning, I thought the act seemed rather messy and unpleasant.”

“But you don’t anymore?”

“Oh, goodness no.”

“That’s good.” Sheena said, and they kissed again.

“Well,” Pearl started, when they broke for breath (for Sheena, anyway). “I suppose it still is but-” They kissed again. “-with the right people it somehow-” Again. “-feels right and it doesn’t bother me. But-” Again. “-if I think of it in the abstract I suppose-” Again. “-it is still somewhat unpleasant. So-” Again. “-it’s more about the company than the-”

“Pearl?” Sheena sighed, breathless (or perhaps just exasperated).

“Yes?”

“Not that I’m not interested, ‘cause I am, but I think this would go smoother if you stopped talking so much.”

“Oh, right, sorry!”

“S’alright, no need to be sorry. I just think you’d enjoy it more if you lost yourself in the feeling, y’know? Or just try it out, at least.” Sheena said. Pearl nodded. They kissed again.

“I’m just nervous.” Pearl said when they broke again. Sheena hummed sympathetically and they kissed again. “I have a tendency to ramble when I’m nervous.” Again. “I don’t even realize-”

“Pearl.” Oh, right, rambling again. They kissed again. And again.

“… Sorry.” Pearl squeaked out between kisses. She couldn’t help it, she had to! Sheena didn’t respond, but instead continued to kiss Pearl while laughing softly into her mouth. It was a kind laugh, not cruel or mocking, just… amused. It created a pleasant, humming sensation in Pearl’s mouth. It was infectious, too, and she couldn’t help but laugh along with her. After a moment they stopped and just continued kissing, with no further interruptions.

They continued like that for a while, and Pearl had to admit Sheena was right. It was rather nice to just… lose herself in the feeling. To just fall into that rhythm and that pleasant feeling of exploration and just being with someone. It was nice. They pulled apart again and neither felt compelled to continue, just allowing themselves to look at one another in silence, save for the sound of breathing.

“Alright.” Sheena sighed, reluctant. “I really should go now. Got work in the morning.”

“Ah yes, and you humans do need a certain amount of sleep to function properly! I’m sorry if I kept you from it.”

“Naw, it was worth it.” Sheena gave Pearl one last kiss before turning and walking back to her motorcycle. She straddled the seat and put her helmet on, adjusting the strap. “See you Saturday, probably.”

“Yes, with luck! And, uhm, catch you later!”

Sheena laughed. “Should I fall.” She started her motorcycle and drove off.

Pearl watched her drive away until she disappeared behind some buildings and the roar of her motorcycle’s engine could no longer be heard. Then she stood in silence for a moment, just breathing, just being. She was so… proud of herself. She was socializing with humans, she was experiencing Earth. Not for Rose and not even for Steven, but for herself. She went on a real official human date for the first time! She was nervous, but she did it. She felt happy at this moment, genuinely happy. Best of all, she felt little to no guilt about feeling happy. Out of everything, Pearl was probably most proud about that.

With a contented sigh, Pearl finally turned and walked to Greg’s car. The parking lot of the movie theater was mostly empty now and dead silent. She hummed softly, getting into the car and starting the engine. She flicked on the Earth radio, fiddling with the dial until she found a tune that sounded half-way pleasant, and set a course back to the temple.

[slice-of-horan]

5SOS Preference #1: First Meeting

Luke: “Two tequila shots please.” Your best friend slurred at the bartender, spinning around and nearly falling off her barstool in the process. It was a Friday night and the bar was full, the music was loud and your best friend was hammered. 

“I’m going to be carrying you home Y/BF/N.” You jokingly rolled your eyes and took one of the shots, downing it and quickly sucking on the lime to lessen the taste.

“Damn right you are, unless I can find a sexy man to take me home instead.” She giggled, scanning the room as you ordered another drink, it was a Friday after all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

30 minutes later and Y/BF/N was pretty much passed out and you were attempting to navigate both of you around the crowded room to the exit. However you had severely underestimated your ability to do this and you had nearly tripped several times. 

“Omfg Y/N, we should totally go back to the bar and do more vodka shots! First one to puke loses” Y/BF/N slurred as she feebly attempted to drag you back towards the bartender. 

“Next time girl, first things first we need some food to sober your drunk ass up.” You giggled and dragged her out on the sidewalk, attempting to flag down a passing taxi while also keeping your friend stable and away from any tempting alcohol. After the fifth taxi went past without stopping, you were getting pretty fed up. 

“For the love of God, this shouldn’t be this difficult” You huffed, running a hand through your tousled hair and checking the clock on your phone. “3.37 am, fan-fucking tactic.” 

“Er.. excuse me?” You felt a sturdy hand pat your shoulder and turned around, coming face to face with a tall handsome stranger. “Sorry to disturb, I just thought you might want to take my taxi instead, seeing as you might be struggling.” He gestured to your drunk friend, you glanced up, trying hard to make it seem like you weren’t totally checking this stranger out. 

“That would be amazing, thank you so much.” You flashed him a smile and grabbed your friends hand, following the man to the taxi he had pulled over. “I’m Y/N by the way and you have just completely saved me from walking 12 blocks in heels.” 

“Glad I could be of service Y/N, I’m Luke.”

“Hurry up Y/N, get the hot guys number and then take me to get some god damn food.” Y/BF/N yelled out from inside the taxi, flashing you a mischievous smirk. You felt your cheeks grow hot, and silently vowed to get your friend back later, and smile shyly. Luke awkwardly shifted, his cheeks tinging with redness. 

“Well she clearly read my mind.” Luke chuckled deeply, handing you a piece of paper he had messily scrawled his number onto. “Call me Y/N, I’d love to see you again.”

Ashton: “Milk, eggs, bread. Check, check, check.” You muttered to yourself as you leisurely strolled your trolley up and down aisle fourteen. It was 2am on a Wednesday and in typical you fashion, you had procrastinated grocery shopping for so long you were forced to do it at this ridiculous hour. 

“Now, do I want chocolate or ice-cream? Who am I kidding I 100% want both.” You laughed at yourself, plucking a block of milk chocolate off the shelf and into your trolley. 

“Wow, you sound awfully upbeat for someone doing grocery shopping at 2 in the morning.” A deep voice sounded out from behind you. You turned around and saw a tall, muscular dark blonde man with an infectious smile plastered on his extremely cute face.

“I could say the same about you. I’m surprised someone else is up and shopping at this hour.” You continued walking down the aisle, surprised when the handsome stranger follows you. 

“Well its not everyday I see a beautiful woman buying my favourite chocolate, I have to admit I am intrigued. I’m Ashton by the way, Ashton Irwin.” He smiled at you and you felt butterflies in your stomach, how was it possible someone could have such an attractive smile. 

“I bet you use that line every time you food shop but anyway its nice to meet you Ashton Irwin, I’m Y/N Y/LN.” You extended a hand for him to shake, which he did with a crooked smile on his face and his eyes sparkling with mischief. 

“I promise I can think of 100 better lines, I’m happy to try them out on you if you'd like, maybe over dinner? My shout of course.” You fought hard to keep the smirk from taking over your face and nodded at him, taking out your phone to give him your phone number. 

“I suppose it’s only fair, besides if I don’t do this some poor other girl will have to suffer and I am not that cruel.” 

Michael: Excitement was bubbling in your stomach, midnight screenings of new movies were always a fun time, especially when it was the newest marvel movie and fans in costumes were everywhere. 

“Y/N, come on! We need to get our seats before the trailers finish, if I miss one second of this movie I’m going to be pissed.” You laughed as your friend grabbed your hand and dragged you into the movie cinema. People were everywhere, there was not one empty seat in the entire theatre. You checked your ticket and realised you were sitting next to a stranger, although a very cute stranger. There were definitely worse people to sit next too that's for sure! You sat down, trying not to make it obvious you were checking him out. If your friend saw you, they would give you hell about it for the entire movie. His hair was dyed bright and he was wearing a top with your favourite band on it, what were the chances! You settled back comfortably in your chair and focused on the newest trailer.

“Gotta say, this movie looks like complete crap. Don’t you think?” You looked surprisingly as the stranger sitting next to you whispered to you. Now you could look at him face to face you couldn’t believe how cute he was. 

“Oh totally, I could make a drinking game out of how many movies are ruined by John Cena cameos. He’s in every stupid movie ever.” You and the cute guy laughed as John Cena came on to the screen,. 

“Totally agree with you, a shot every time he’s on screen would get you wasted in less than 15 minutes.” You guys laughed, trying to quiet down as people in the cinema stared. 

“I’m Michael by the way.” 

The rest of the movie was spent with you and Michael cracking jokes, it was by far the most fun movie experience you had ever had, and it only got better when Michael asked you on a date after the movie.

Calum: House parties were usually super fun, however when you only know one person and they disappear immediately, they can suck major ass. You were nursing your drink in the corner of the room, surrounded by smoke and a variety of drunk/stoned people. Your friend was currently rolling around on the couch with a guy she met 45 minutes ago leaving you to awkwardly pretend you couldn’t see what she was doing. You glanced around the crowded room before noticing the balcony, a perfect place to escape and not feel as awkward. You clambered across the room, avoiding the drunk guy throwing up in the kitchen sink and burst through the door, savouring the peaceful fresh air. It was only till after you were leaning against the balcony rail that you realised you weren’t the only one attempting to escape the party. A tall, dark haired and extremely hot guy was sitting on a chair, chuckling amusedly at your look of surprise. 

“I can see I’m not the only one who needed a break.” He sat up and extended a a hand towards you. “I’m Calum by the way.” You took his hand and shook it, trying to ignore the way a handshake gave you butterflies. 

“I’m Y/N, sorry to ruin your peace but I had to leave before Y/BF/N decided to jump her guy in front of my eyes.” You laughed, Calum’s deep chuckle joining in as well. 

“Well I’m glad you found your way out here, I was getting pretty lonely by myself.” You took a seat next to Calum, where you guys continued to talk into the late hours of the night about anything and everything you guys had in common. 

A.N: Message me any requests, I do 1D and 5SOS. Thank you! 

[fanficimagery]

Imagine chaperoning your little brother on a field trip of his, only to end up chatting with Captain America.

Steve X Reader

With your parents both working around the clock, it's no surprise they both forget to schedule a day off to chaperone your little brother on his field trip. So on the day of his trip, you find yourself being woken up just a few hours after you'd gone to bed to take their place on the bus. You're not sure what the trip is about, so your mouth falls open in surprise when the school bus rolls down into the private garage of Stark Tower.

All the little kids seem super excited and after the night you had last night you can't help but cringe at all the noise they're making. Leaning across the aisle and tapping a fellow chaperone on the shoulder two seats ahead of you, you ask her what exactly the trip is supposed to entail.

"The Maria Stark Foundation is opening up several learning centers around the city for underprivileged children. We're here because our kids were chosen to test run the programs and various activities they have."

"Oh. Well I wish I had known beforehand," you muse while pulling a pair of large sunglasses down over your eyes. "I would have dressed more appropriate."

Your fellow chaperone eyes your sloppy bun, loose cardigan, and yoga pants, she stifling her laughter as she shakes her head in amusement. "You'll be fine. Just grab a cup of coffee when we get inside. You look a tad hungover."

You smile sheepishly. "Just a tad."

The teachers then grab everyone's attention, explaining that Mr. Stark is going to have breakfast for everyone in the cafeteria before you’re all to head on up to the seventh floor where they set up a learning center for today's activities. And then once everyone has a grasp on what to do, you're all let off the bus in a single file line and led to the cafeteria.

The kids are all fed pigs in a blanket and you find solace in the numerous fresh pots of coffee waiting to be consumed. You then manage to scarf down a breakfast burrito and then cap off your third cup of coffee when everyone is set to move on.

The seventh floor is filled with low tables and small chairs for the kids, numerous of state of the art computers lined up to be used. There are also some round tables where tablets reside and various adults at every station to explain how to use the learning programs that will soon be available to them in the coming months.

As the kids are encouraged to find a place at any station, all the chaperones head off to the side of the room and take a seat on the adult chairs.

You're blowing on the cup of coffee in hand through the small sipping hole when you hear a familiar, grating laugh and let your gaze trail off to the right where Stacy Hoskins- the school's infamous not-so-single mother who likes to hit on anyone with a pulse- walks her fingers up and down a clearly uncomfortable Captain America's arm. The other chaperones look on in amusement, while the others from Stark's tower look on in a mixture of amusement and horror at the woman's boldness.

Seeing as no one is saving the poor soul, you take a moment to think up a plan. Unclasping the lid to your coffee, you leave it in your seat as you stand up and make your way towards Captain America and his unwanted admirer. So keeping an eye on your brother, you make it seem like a total accident as you bump into Stacy's knees and spill your coffee all over her lap.

Stacy shrieks and your eyes widen in horror. "Oh my god. Stacy, I'm so sorry! I didn't see- I didn't mean-"

Now standing herself, Stacy forces a smile as she fruitlessly wipes at her coffee-stained jeans. "Of course you didn't," she grits out, flipping her bleached blonde hair to the side. "I don't see how anyone can see through those ridiculous glasses you wear."

Grinning, you push your sunglasses up on top your head. "Well I needed something to deflect the glare from that bad dye job of yours," you muse, gesturing to her hair.

Stacy gasps in outrage, not hearing the snort coming from the one she just had her claws dug into moments ago, but decides to not make an even bigger scene. Instead, she lowers her voice and mutters, "You're a total bitch, Y/N," before marching off.

Turning to follow her with your gaze, you smirk. "That comment is not as offensive as you think, Stacy. If you're trying to hurt my feelings you totally failed."

The other chaperones are laughing behind their hands and their own cups of coffee, and you shrug when several gazes meet yours. Hearing a throat clear behind you, you tense up when you remember just who you had saved from Stacy's clutches. Cringing, you slowly turn back around and glance up, only to meet the now standing Captain America's amused gaze. "Well.. that was something."

"I'm really sorry," you chuckle nervously. "Stacy is- I just couldn't watch that train wreck happen. You looked uncomfortable and I decided to step in, so I'm really sorry if I overstepped."

He laughs. "No apologies needed, ma'am. I needed a way out and was hoping a friend of mine would save me, but they apparently enjoy watching me squirm." You follow his pointed gesture to see a beautiful redhead sitting next to none other than Tony Stark himself- the latter of who salutes you with his own cup of coffee. "I'm Steve, by the way."

Facing him once more, you smile and nod. "Y/N."

He gestures to the seats beside the two of you and you take a seat with him. "So which one is yours?" He asks, taking your now empty cup of coffee and tossing it into the bin behind the chairs. "I'm assuming you're here as a chaperone since I've never seen you around the tower before."

Clasping your hands in your lap, you grin. Then looking out towards the children who have made themselves comfortable running back and forth between stations, you find one kid in particular and groan when you see him reaching towards a rather expensive looking vase in the corner. "Robert!"

The kid whirls around. "I didn't touch it!"

"Of course you didn't," you shout back. "Now go find a station." Robert's shoulders drastically droop as he drags his feet towards the nearest station, he then sitting in a chair in front of a tablet. 

"He get in trouble often?" Steve wonders.

"So-so. I usually keep him out of trouble with mom and dad since I'm the bad influence, but we're not at home right now. He breaks that vase and it's me who'll be yelled at when we get home."

"Oh. So you're not his-"

"Mom?" You meet Steve's gaze, cocking an eyebrow at him. "How old do you think I am, Steve?" You ask, mentally feeling smug when you see his lips quirk at the use of his name. Not Captain America, not Mr. Rogers, but Steve. Just Steve. "Robert's my little brother. Mom and dad forgot to take a day off of work, so they asked if I could skip classes for a day to chaperone the little terror. Luckily for me I'm on good standing with my professors and they trust me to make up the day's work within the week."

"That's awfully nice of you. And your professors."

You shrug your shoulders, feigning innocence. "What can I say? I'm very likable."

"I think Stacy would say otherwise."

Snorting, you bite your bottom lip to keep from laughing out loud and drawing attention. Then when you're under control, you say, "Yes. I'm sure she would." A moment of silence falls over you, it then turning slightly awkward when everyone keeps glancing in your direction. Jerking to sitting upright, you sheepishly meet Steve's gaze. "I, uh, I should go and make sure Robert is actually.. learning or something. It was nice meeting you."

"Yeah, you as well," Steve muses.

Stalling for a brief moment, you slowly stand to your feet while saying, "If you see Stacy coming, run. Or come find me," you grin. "I'm not afraid to chase off crazy women when they're clearly not wanted."

Steve stands with you, tucking his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. "I will. I hope you and your brother have fun."

You nod and then scan the room for your brother, and try to not make it seem like the hounds of hell are on your heels as you make a beeline for him. 

What the hell was your life coming to when you got to talk one on one with Captain America?

Lunch rolls around and you lead Robert to an empty table so he'll focus on his food and not his friends. The cafeteria is abuzz with excited voices and you manage to mostly keep your little brother in line. And just when you're about to let him run off, you see his eyes widen as he slowly retakes his seat and stares at something- or rather someone- above your head.

"Excuse me, but do you mind if I sit with you?"

The newly familiar voice gives you pause and you now understand why your little brother seems so starstruck. Captain America- er, Steve- is standing right behind you. Slowly glancing over your shoulder, you're starstruck yourself for a moment before clearing your throat and gesturing with a hand. "Go ahead. Stacy find you?" You then grin.

Steve laughs as he pulls out a chair. "No. But I did see her eyeing me in hopes of sitting next to her."

"And you brought your tray over to my table? Don't I feel special," you tease.

"Y/N! You can't flirt with Captain America," you brother exclaims.

Your head snaps in his direction just as Steve snorts and you narrow your eyes at Robert. "Don't you have friends to make trouble with? Go before I find the Black Widow and tell her all about your crush on her."

Robert's grin vanishes, a pout replacing his amusement. "Fine. But you're taking my tray."

And before you can deny his demand, he's up and out of his seat only to be racing to the opposite side of the cafeteria.

"That was harsh of you," Steve muses. "You should never out a boy to the woman of his dreams."

You scoff. "Please. As if I'd actually go up to the Black Widow and make conversation. That woman is both beautiful and terrifying. I'd never have the guts to speak to her."

Steve laughs. "I'll tell her you said that. She's bound to be amused."

"Please don't. Or do," you then reiterate. "The lone lady Avenger needs all the love she can get. According to People magazine it's a tight race between you, Iron Man, and Thor."

"You actually read that tabloid?"

"Only when I need to kill time. I don't believe anything written in them, but I do find the polls rather amusing."

"That's a relief." Steve starts assembling his lunch, he taking a quick bite before following it with a sip of what looks like sweet tea. "So how's your day been so far?"

"Tiring. In case you hadn't noticed, I was a bit hungover this morning," you huff. "I bartend nights and last night was a friend's birthday, so we stayed later to celebrate a bit. I think I'd only been asleep for a few hours before I was being woken to chaperone Robert."

"Hungover? I think you were still drunk," Steve says. "Luckily for you, no one could really tell."

"It was all that coffee I drank. Trust me, if Stark hadn't had the cafeteria opened I would be dead on my feet right now."

"Well I'm glad you're feeling better. And for all that coffee you drank. If it weren't for you, I think I'd be stuck with Stacy right now." Following Steve's gaze, you grin as you spot Stacy glaring directly at you. Mockingly wiggling your fingers in a wave at her, Steve snorts and ducks his head. "Don't antagonize her."

"What," you feign innocence. "It's not like you have to drive home with her. And besides, the other chaperones will get a kick out of it. Stacy is widely known at my brother's school and her reputation isn't exactly squeaky clean. Her not getting her way today will be what all the other mom's will be talking about for the rest of the year."

"Yeah. Her, you, and me," Steve then says.

You freeze mid-sip, your eyes subtly widening. "Fuck. My mom's gonna hear about this. She's never gonna let me live this down."

"Language."

You startle at the admonishment, but his lips twitching and eyes crinkling at the corners causes you to droop in relief. "God you're such a little shit. How do people not know this about you?"

"Their belief is that Captain America is highly virtuous. And since Steve Rogers is Captain America, they think I'm the same way. I've learned to go with the flow and troll them unexpectedly."

"Oh man. What I would give to see that in person."

A moment passes in silence as the two of you take a few bites of food, and then Steve's clearing his throat. "You can," he says, gaze solely focused on his tray as he talks. "See the trolling in action, I mean. Would you.. like to grab coffee some time?"

You blink in surprise, mouth gaping. Just as you're about to retort, a strangled noise escapes instead and you click your mouth shut. Steve stares at you in amusement then, and you roll your eyes. But before you can give your answer, a chair across from the both of you is being pulled out and someone is taking a seat.

But it's not just anyone, no. It's James Buchanan Barnes aka Bucky. Former Winter Soldier. Steve Rogers' best friend.

"Uhh..."

"Thanks a lot, punk. Ditch me for a pretty girl while leaving me to stage four clinger Stacy over there," Bucky says, gesturing over his shoulder. "Did you at least get to askin' this one out?" He then asks, staring at you.

You can feel your face heating up and Steve groans. And before you can think anymore on it, you blurt, "Yes."

"Yes?" Bucky wonders.

Looking at Steve, you say, "Yes. To the coffee." Steve's startled expression turns pleased and this time it's Bucky's turn to groan. But before he can retort with something embarrassing, you say, "And now that that's out of the way, I'm gonna go.. and be somewhere else to get my heart rate back under control."

"How will I contact you?" Steve asks as you stand, collecting your and Robert's tray.

"Uhh.."

"Just rattle it off," Bucky muses. "The punk will remember it. He has a good memory."

"Oh." As you rattle off your number for Steve, you only have a moment to regret doing so when you see Bucky typing it into his own phone, smirking all the while. You have a feeling both these gentlemen are going to bring a lot of amusement in the near future. "So, uh, it was nice meeting you guys." Looking at Bucky, you say, "I guess I'll see you around? And you," you shyly smile as you then stare at Steve. "I guess I'll be seeing you sooner rather than later."

Steve grins. "You will."

"Okay then." Leaving the table in a slight daze, you manage to dump both trays in hand before finding your little brother.

As you take a seat next to him out in the hall, he asks, "Did you really give Captain America and the Winter Soldier your phone number?"

"I.. think I did," you gulp, suddenly paling. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Cool! You are officially the best sister ever. If he becomes your boyfriend, you're bringing him home to dinner."

"Shut up, Robert."