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bcksbarnes · 2 days ago

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time's never been on our side - chapter five

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: you and bucky happen to meet by chance one night, and it feels like there is a spark between the two of you - but he has to leave. was this destiny? or cruel fate?

word count: 3K

read the: previous chapter

How do you miss someone you've barely spent any time with? Someone that up until a few days ago was basically a total stranger.

It was wrong. Forbidden, even.

You didn't think it'd hurt so much when Bucky left, you tried your best to mentally prepare yourself for the fact that it had to end. He had made it very obvious — this was short term.

Although neither of you were prepared for how abrupt the end would be.

When the door closed behind him on the way out of your apartment, all you could do was stare at the white paint in a state of disbelief. You missed him already, and that was truly unfair.

Instead of trying to distract yourself, or even talk yourself out of these feelings, you opt to lay on your bed and nuzzle your face into your pillow, mustering all your strength to not scream, or cry, or both. Your mind is plaguing you with thoughts about how cruel and unusual it was to be ripped apart so soon. It didn't make it hurt less, but a good spiral was what you really needed.

He texted you as soon as he was on the plane:

This is bullshit.

All you could manage to respond with was:

And it's not like Bucky was handling it much better either. He ignored both Steve and Sam's attempts to speak with him when he boarded, opting to read the briefing sheet rather than listen in on Steve's mission overview. Though it didn't help much because he kept reading the words over and over again — they wouldn't stick in his brain, all he could think about was you and what he was leaving behind.

Bucky loved what he did and more importantly he loved the people he did it with. Being able to save the world, to feel like he's accomplished something other than mass destruction was a win in his eyes, but he kept having this recurring feeling that maybe his time in this field had run its course.

He had spent all of his life fighting, running, hiding. The world always needed to be saved, maybe he didn't have to be the one saving it anymore. You reminded him that life didn't need to be loading guns and counting dead bodies, it could be more.

So much more.

"Steve's about to pop a vein," Sam says, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts as he takes a seat across from him, his elbows resting on his knees as he settles in. "You two need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," Bucky mutters.

"I said this weeks ago when we were in Budapest. You can't continue being miserable because Steve wants to keep going."

"I don't want to talk about it, Sam."

There's a tiredness in his voice that lets the other man know he's serious, that right now he truly doesn't want to be bothered. He wants to stare out of the window of the plane, look at the clouds below him, and be angry at the world.

Was that too much to ask for?

"I know you don't, but you know I'm right," Sam says, receiving a look from Bucky that was less than kind. "Listen, maybe you don't want to talk about it now, and maybe Steve is refusing to come to terms with the fact that you're ready to start a new life, but just know that if you don’t talk — it won't end well. For either of you. You need to ask yourself if whoever you just left behind tonight is your path forward."

Bucky keeps his gaze towards the window, his jaw set as he could feel his pulse quicken, his metal hand curling into a fist as it rests on his knee. He watches in his peripheral vision as his friend stands and walks to the other side of the jet, leaving Bucky alone with his dark, depressing thoughts.

When the jet had finally lands in Lagos it was go-time. Bucky put on a brave face, as he normally did, and found Sam and Steve – ready to jump into action.

The mission was not as easy as everyone hoped it would be. It was a repetitive mess that led the team down too many twists and turns, and each day they inched further and further away from when it would end.

Three weeks turned into six, which was now looking more like eight.

What a fucking nightmare.

The only thing keeping either of you sane was the nights when Bucky finally got back to his hotel room, closing and locking the door for his privacy, and took his phone out to dial your number.

Tonight was especially hard on Bucky, they had somehow missed the signs of an ambush. Everyone on the team was badly hurt, he even took a few extra blows than what he was used to.

Not their greatest moment.

"Hello?" you rasp into the phone, immediately pulling Bucky out of his thoughts. He's startled by how tired you sound, and when he checks the time he understands why.

"Shit, sorry. I didn't realize it was so late."

"It's fine. Did you just get back?" you ask, a yawn leaving your lips slightly muffling your words.

"Yeah, it was a long day."

Bucky didn’t even bother to turn on the lights as he made his way towards his bed, his back hitting the mattress with a thud as he stared up at the ceiling. He tries to clear his mind of the sounds of gunshots and screams. As he’s grown older and further away from his days as the Winter Soldier it was easier to compartmentalize, but that didn't mean it didn't haunt him. So, he closes his eyes as he tries to picture your face instead, maybe then the bad thoughts will go away.

"You should go back to sleep," he insists, although deep down he doesn't mean it. Selfishly he wants you all to himself, despite how late it was. His stomach sinks at even the idea of hanging up.

"I'm fine," you reiterate, trying to hold back another yawn as you rub your eye with the palm of your hand. "I've been waiting all day to talk to you, what's missing a few hours of sleep anyway?"

"You're so stubborn."

"Oh, I can hang up if you really want me to."

"No," he responds, maybe a little too quickly. His hand moves under his shirt as he scratches his stomach gently. "Not yet."

Truthfully he wants to tell you he misses you, but the word is so profound and he's not even sure he's ever said it before. That scares him. What Bucky is unaware of is how the word is also on the tip of your tongue, just threatening to roll off at any moment.

An ocean apart, only connected by this nightly phone call, and neither of you could really say what you truly wanted.

"That's what I thought, Barnes."

You smile to yourself as you flip over onto your side, bringing your blanket up to your chin as you get cozy in the bed. Maybe one day Bucky could join you.

Maybe.

"What did you do today?" he asks. It's sincere in the way that he truly wants to know what you did, but part of him wants his mind to stop, your voice seems to be the only thing to bring him back down to Earth.

"I brought Alpine to the vet, then did some grocery shopping. Nothing really too exciting."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, routine check up. She hates when they do the exam so most of the time I was trying to wrangle her while she hissed at all the nurses."

Bucky lets out a scoff at the thought, his eyes finally opening once more. The once dark room was starting to let light in, the sun starting to peek through the horizon of the early mornings.

"She's feisty. I wonder where she learned that from."

"I'm not sure what you're implying," you say, innocently.

"Mm, I'm sure you don't."

"Watch it, Buck."

"There it is," he teases, switching his phone to press against his other ear. "I knew I wasn't making it up."

"Shut up." You bite down on your bottom lip, your heart beating rapidly in your chest at his teasing. You feel like you were a teenager with a stupid crush that wouldn't go away.

A long silence passes between the two of you, and your eyelids grow a bit heavy from the darkness of the night — you knew sleep would be in your future soon, but you weren’t ready to let this moment go just yet.

Bucky definitely wasn't.

"I wish you were here," he whispers into the phone, clutching on it so hard that he's sure it might break. "Or that I was there, either way."

"Me too," you nod, even if he can't see it. "When you get back we should go back to that restaurant we liked."

"Which one?"

"You know with that spaghetti dish we liked? The one you spilled your drink on yourself?"

Bucky chuckles at the memory. He remembers missing his mouth when he went to take a sip because he was mesmerized by the way you looked. There wasn't even a way for him to recover from it, he mumbled some curse words under his breath as he tried to clean up the giant stain that was on his shirt and not focus on your hands reaching over to help him.

"Yeah, that place," he responds. "Sounds good to me."

"When will you be back?"

"I'm not sure."

"Soon?"

"Soon," he promises.

Your heart leaps even as the exhaustion overcomes you, clutching your phone a bit tighter — unaware that Bucky had done the same on his end. Some more soft whispers are exchanged between the two of you before you end up falling asleep on the line. Bucky hears the sound of your soft, even breathing through the speaker and it fills him with warmth. He hesitates and wages an internal war before he finally ends the call and readies himself for bed, despite the sun rising in the distance.

The next morning, well afternoon, is rough for Bucky who is now lacking sleep and is desperately itching to get back home. He checks his phone immediately, a bad habit he's now picked up, and instead of finding a text from you sees a few missed calls from Steve.

Will be there in 20, just getting up.

He texts his friend before rolling out of bed to start another (he’s assuming) long day.

One shower, one disgustingly bitter cup of coffee and twenty minutes later Bucky finds Steve in a hotel room now make-shift control room a few floors above his own.

"Hey," Steve nods his chin in Bucky’s direction. He was the only person in the room, sitting down on a desk chair that seemed way too small for a man so large, it was jarring.

"Hey," Bucky nods back, closing the door to the room behind him. "What's up?"

"We'll be here for another two weeks," Steve responds without any hesitation, straightening up his back as he sits in the chair. "Sam got a lead on another base about 50 miles outside the city. The teams working on a way to get in, apparently our system hasn't been picking it up since they're using some advanced technology to try and hide it in plain sight."

Bucky stands a few feet in front of Steve, his arms crossed over his chest, his brows furrowing.

"Two more weeks? We've been here for a while, Steve, there's no way this should be taking this long."

"Unless you want a lot of innocent people to get hurt, Buck, we're not rushing this. Red Wing did a diagnostic scan of the facility and there's a lot of hostages, just like the one a few days ago. It's a pattern."

There's no response from Bucky as he averts his gaze for a moment, feeling the irritation rise in his chest. He knows this is the moment that Sam wanted for the two of them; Bucky to finally admit his feelings and tell Steve that he's at the end of his days.

All he can think of is the people inside the facility who are waiting for someone to save them — he could save them.

All he knows is guilt.

"Will that be a problem?" Steve challenges, standing up so the two are eye level. Tension filling the air that took Bucky by surprise, straightening his own posture.

"Listen, Steve…"

"What, Buck? You want to quit?"

"What? I didn't say that," he defends himself. "Can you let me speak?"

"Go ahead."

"Thanks," he eyes Steve before taking a step back to create some distance between each other. There's so much going through Bucky's head at the moment he doesn't even know where to begin. "This has been a lot lately. We've been non-stop and it's been tiring. Taking some time off has made me … realize that maybe I'm not looking to do this forever."

Steve watches carefully, his jaw tightening as he listens, Bucky speaks again.

"I want a normal life."

"A normal life?" Steve scoffs in response. "Don't you think we all want that? We gave that up a long time ago, buddy."

"I know," Bucky snaps back through gritted teeth. "I'm fully aware of that."

"So you do want to quit, like I said."

"You make it sound like I have a choice."

"You do have a choice," Steve takes a step forward and minimizes the space that Bucky created. "You're either in, or you're out, Buck. There's no in between, there's no happy endings."

"What if I don't want to be ‘in’ anymore? I'm not quitting, I've done my time. I've done time that I should never even been sentenced to, a life that I didn't get to pick."

"Not all of us have a choice."

"You did," Bucky snaps back. "You wanted this. You knew when you took that serum it meant you were going from a scrawny kid from Brooklyn to a hero. I wanted to punch a few Nazi's and come home. Start a family. Meet someone. I didn't get to pick my life, someone else did for me."

"And what? You've found someone and suddenly you want to pick up the only life you know and throw it away? People are counting on you, they're counting on us."

"Don't pull that shit with me, Steve," Bucky raises his voice.

"Pull what? Your head out of your ass? Do you think I don't know that something's going on?" Steve raises his own back. "Who is it?"

Bucky feels like he should come clean, but a voice in the back of his mind is telling him that it'd be a bad idea. What were you and Bucky besides two friends who have only really spent a few weeks together? Would it even be worth mentioning to Steve? What if this blew up in his face? He couldn't tie this need to move on in his life back to you.

Not now, anyway.

"No one," Bucky says, keeping his expression neutral. "There's no one. I'm just tired."

"We're all tired, we all want to be done, but there's always something else. Something we can't run away from." Steve lifts his hand to clap Bucky's shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze and shaking the man slightly. "We can't stop even if we want to."

And just like that it all came tumbling down.

Bucky would never be free from this life.

"I can give you some more time off after this mission, but we need you back here. I need you back here." Steve gives his shoulder another reassuring squeeze, though it does nothing to calm the unease in his stomach.

Bucky averts his gaze, trying his best to not let his emotions settle to the surface.

Not here, not now.

He gives Steve some vague mumbled response that he doesn't remember and the two pretend like the conversation never happened. Even if there's a giant knot in his stomach and his brain is a little hazed as Steve jumps right back into the tactical part of the mission, it never happened.

Sam and the rest of the crew join them a few minutes later, and before he knows it they are off on another night of looking for hostages and fights he didn’t want to be in. If his heart wasn't in it before, it definitely wasn't in it now. Two more weeks and he had a break again, that's what Steve had told him — he hoped he’d follow through on his promise.

"He means well," Sam says hours later as the two of them enter the elevator of the hotel. Sam takes the liberty of pressing the buttons of both of their floors. They are covered in blood — Bucky had failed to stop a grenade that had been fired at too close of a range, they were both lucky they were still alive. His mind was elsewhere tonight.

Bucky gulps and keeps his eyes averted, biting down on his tongue as he holds back what little dignity he has in that moment. He was only a few feet away from his room, and, more importantly, only a few seconds from calling you.

The elevator chimed and Bucky stepped out, tossing his head over his shoulder as he gave Sam one final look.

"He doesn't," he says, watching as the elevator doors shut, leaving him alone once again.

Bucky's feet carry him to his room, and soon he flops down on his bed as a part of his nightly routine, but this time when he reaches for his phone in his pocket his hands shake. He had never felt so vulnerable in his life.

It rings only once before you pick up.

"Hey," you say, it’s late but with the time difference and how long Bucky’s days were, it always was when he called.

"Hey," he whispers back, his head turning to the side as he stares at the wall, studying the patterns on the wallpaper.

"What's wrong?"

Bucky bites down on his bottom lip, holding back emotions he tried never to reckon with: sadness, loneliness, wanting.

"I just needed to hear your voice."

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #i know like 5 people read this story but im determined to update it

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lastoneout · 13 hours ago

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Putting this here because I don't wanna bother the OP of that post, but like come the fuck on TLJ does Luke SO BAD.

I get that OG trilogy Luke is very young and people change as they age, and on top of that trauma can affect a person long after the trauma is over, but I'm sorry if losing his fucking hand didn't stop him from trying and succeeding to get through to the good that was very much still inside Anakin then there is nothing that would ever stop him from trying to get through to Ben Solo. Like you're telling me Luke Skywalker offers forgiveness to DARTH FUCKING VADER, who up until very recently he only knew as a vile, evil monster who had murdered millions of people and subjugated millions more AND attacked him and cut his hand off, and still have the sheer willpower to look at that fucking war criminal and say "I'm gonna save him" and BE RIGHT, that Luke, would see his nephew, who hasn't done anything wrong yet, and think "I should kill him so he doesn't maybe become evil" like?? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE, IT DOESN'T.

Vader was a whole entire fucking adult who had up until the last like 15 minutes of his life has spent the majority of it committing countless horrific atrocities with no remorse and Luke knew he wasn't so far gone he couldn't be reached and would not fucking give up until he was saved. Luke faced down goddamn Emperor Palpatine, he risked himself becoming corrupted and joining them, risked DYING despite being the only person left who could actually pose a threat to either Vader or Palpatine, to save the galaxy and his father, and you expect me to believe that fucking Luke Skywalker wouldn't have destroyed himself before laying a hand on a TROUBLED CHILD HIS SISTER TRUSTED HIM TO TAKE CARE OF.

It's just disrespectful. I 100% agree with Mark Hamill about that not being Luke because it wasn't. Luke has always had optimism and kindness as his core driving forces(pun not intended) making him into an asshole cynic to what? Shock people?? Luke would never end up like that in that way. If Luke would go to those lengths to try to save Darth Vader then he would never try to kill Kylo Ren/Ben. If Luke understood that DARTH FUCKING VADER was also a victim and not beyond saving then there's no world in which he would give up on a teenager who hadn't done anything wrong.

And tbh I don't think Ben turning evil would have been the reason Luke gave up on rebuilding the Jedi order because I don't think he would try to rebuild it in the first place, at least not the way it was before it fell. He looked up to the Jedi for sure but he understood their flaws better than anyone else alive. There's no world in which Luke ends up trying to recreate the Jedi and then giving up on helping the galaxy after trying to kill his nephew so he doesn't become evil, and there's no world in which a guy who knew how much dealing with Yoda was would treat Rey the way Yoda treated him. That's just not how Luke Skywalker wouldn't act. Never in a million years. Luke also never let his own flaws or the flaws of others stop him from helping people, especially his family. He lost his and and his friend got sold to a warlord and he still kept showing the fuck up for them. Did dwell on his failures he just got up and said "What's next?" That's who Luke is, for fucks sake. Luke is not a complicated character it's genuinely impressive that anyone was able to fuck him up this bad.

Every actor in that film deserved a better movie. I loved Rose and Poe and Finn and that movie did not(literally so disrespectful to make all the character of color be the unserious b-plot especially after how important Finn was in the first film, they all deserved better). I love Luke Skywalker and that film did not. I love the optimism and fantastical joy of Star Wars and that movie shat all over it for the sake of edgy, disappointing, grimdark twists. I'd rather watch the entire prequel trilogy than ever have to sit through even a minute of The Last Jedi. What a fucking disaster of a film.

#tlj salt #star wars salt

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siriusly-yoongi · 2 days ago

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She wants to be saved chapter 20

Main Masterlist Series Masterlist

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Pairing: alpha BTS × omega reader

Chapter Warnings: I don't really know what to put for warnings, likely inaccurate medical information, self-harm, sexual assault,

Word count: 4004

Posting everyday has been way too hard on me and I just cannot keep up with it. I'm aiming for every other day now instead.

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JIMIN

It was nice waking up in a nest. I haven't slept that well in a long time. It was perfect. Well, almost. She didn't join us.

I noticed it first during breakfast, I thought she was just hungover. She wouldn't touch her food and she kept staring off into space.

After breakfast she went into her room for a while, then out of the blue she came to me and crawled into my lap. It looked like it took a lot of effort to do. Something is wrong. I can see it on her face something is very wrong.

I don't even have time to call for Namjoon before she's gone. Her body goes stiff at first, her pupils shrinking into tiny pinpricks. Then she goes limp in my arms, falling against my chest. I think she knew it was about to happen, that's why she came to me.

"NAMJOON!" I call for Namjoon, my tone panicked.

She dropped, and i don't know why.

Namjoon runs into the living room and rushes over to the two of us. He takes one look at her and pulls her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. She's complete limp in his arms, he has to rest her head on his shoulder cause she isn't even supporting it herself. This is bad.

This is what we expected to happen that first night. When Hoseok destroyed her nest. But that was a week and a half ago. Nothing bad enough to cause a drop has happened since then, that has to be the trigger. It has to be. But why now.

As if reading my mind, Namjoon looks back at me. "Delayed drops can happen. Its rare, but it does happen. They're usually way worse than normal drops."

As if on cue, she starts choking, struggling to take in a proper breath. "Breathe babygirl, just breathe." She doesn't respond at all. Not that we expected her to.

After a few minutes of trying to get her to breathe properly with no luck, Namjoon hands her to me. "I'm gonna go grab Yoongi and pack a little bag for overnight. I'm taking her to the hospital. She's getting worse and I'll feel better if she's being watched properly" he speaks calmly but I can tell he's panicking inside

After a few minutes Namjoon comes back with Yoongi and a bag and I hand her to Yoongi. "I'm coming" I state firmly, no one argues.

Once we get to the hospital, Namjoon carries her inside and she's taken back into a room pretty much immediately. She's hooked up to an IV and they put a tube of oxygen in her nose to help her breathe better.

They check her over and they decide they want to keep her here to monitor her, just like Namjoon had expected.

I was asleep on Yoongi's lap when a bunch of beeping woke me up. I sit up, and look over at Namjoon as a doctor rushes into the room.

"She isn't breathing on her own, I need t-...." the doctor said something else after that but I stopped listening.

Yoongi pulls me closer to him, pulling my head into his neck like he usually does with her. Yoongi has been a lot more open to touch and affection since she showed up, and I'm really grateful for that.

I close my eyes, trying to block out the noise. I'm a paramedic, I shouldn't have trouble hearing this kind of thing. But this is my mate. This isn't some random person I'll never see again. This is our omega. And I cant listen to it, I just can't.

She had a tube down her throat for the next 5 days. She'd had her eyes closed this whole time but in day 5 they opened again. They took the tube out of her throat and she was able to breathe on her own. The whole pack is here. They had to move us to a bigger room just so we could all fit comfortably. Her pupils are still tiny pinpricks and she's still completely unresponsive.

They decided to keep her for one more night before sending her home Friday afternoon, telling us to come back if she gets worse.

We get her home and bring her into the den. Yoongi lays with her in the middle of the nest while I lay behind Yoongi. Having alphas that the omega doesn't trust super close to them can make the drop worse and I don't wanna risk making her get worse. So I mold myself around Yoongi's back and try and sleep.

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Yoongi and I decide to give her a bath before everyone else gets home. We get her clothes off and my heart sinks. She has deep slashes all over her stomach. These had to have been from the night we slept in the nest, she was in the pool and we could see her stomach the day prior to it and she dropped the day after.

She finally tenses up for the first time instead of being completely limp as Yoongi lowers her into the water. "Its okay kitten, you're okay." We've been talking to her, its unclear whether or not she understands us.

Yoongi ends up pulling his clothes off and getting into the bath with her because she went limp again once she adjusted to the water and its not safe for her to be limp in the water like that.

He sits behind her with her body tucked between his legs, her weight resting against his chest.

We make quick work of washing her body and her hair then rinse her off.

Yoongi wraps her in a towel then hands her to me, wrapping a towel around himself. "Lay her on her bed to get her dressed, it'll be easier." He suggests before leaving the bathroom to go get dressed.

I carry her to her room and lay her on her bed like Yoongi suggested. Its like having a baby. She doesn't even hold her own head up.

As soon as I'm no longer touching her she cries out, her breathing turning erratic and tears rolling down her cheeks.

I rush back over to her and sit down on her bed, pulling her into my lap. "Okay, okay. I'm right here babydoll, I didn't leave you." I try and soothe her with my voice. I still don't know if she can hear me, I don't think she can see me, at least not very well, but I know she can feel me. She could feel when I stopped touching her. She felt the water touch her body. She can still feel.

I wait for Yoongi to come back up and get her clothes since I cant really leave her long enough to grab them.

Once she's dressed, Yoongi takes her back downstairs to the den and we curl back up in the nest.

Jungkook is the first to join us. Then Hobi and Tae, then Jin, and lastly Namjoon.

No one made dinner tonight, we ended up ordering pizza again, even though it hasn't even been a week since last time.

She's propped up against Namjoon's chest while Yoongi tries to feed her some of the pizza, it doesn't go very well and she ends up choking. Namjoon has to tip her forward and pat her back like you would to a child.

This drop is bad. She's completely helpless.

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NAMJOON

Mindlessly I run my fingers along her face. Stroking her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. She seems to like it, her eyes close at least. That's the only reaction I'm getting from her. It's been 2 weeks since she first dropped, its now July. Any weight shed gained since being here she's lost again from not eating. We've managed to feed her a few spoonfuls of applesauce and yogurt, things of that nature. But not much. We've been using a medicine syringe to get her to drink water but its likely she's pretty dehydrated.

As I'm stroking her face she makes a soft noise and I look down at her. She's looking up at me, her eyes actually clear instead of glassy. Her pupils are still tiny, she's still gone. But she's looking at me. This is the first sign if improvement we've seen.

"Can you hear me baby?" I ask softly, looking down at her where she's laid on her back, head on my thigh.

She doesn't respond, continuing to just look up at me.

Another few days pass and they're uneventful.

Its late, everyone just had dinner and I'm sitting there holding her when she reaches over and grabs onto Yoongi's shirt. The movement is slow and choppy, like she's struggling to move her own body, but she manages. Yoongi smiles at her, swiping his finger down her nose a couple times. We've discovered she likes that.

It takes few days for her to be able to sit up on her own. Then another few days for anything else to happen. By now its been just under 3 weeks since she first dropped.

I was asleep with her in my arms when I felt a sharp pain over my cheek and on my shoulder. My eyes snap open and the first thing I see is her hissing at me. She bit me and scratched my cheek. She must be disoriented from being out of it for so long.

"Hey, hey its okay. Its me baby. Its Namjoon. Its alpha, its okay." I try and approach her, she hisses again but let's me approach her.

"There, see. It's alright." I pull her head into my neck to she can smell me better but she's still tense.

I call for Yoongi and he comes into the den. I hand her over to him and she relaxes almost immediately. I think she'll always have the strongest bond with Yoongi. He was the first sense of safety she ever had in her life. That bond will always be strong and I cant wait to see what they're like once their properly mated and marked.

"You've been gone for 3 weeks kitten. You scared us." Yoongi kisses her forehead.

The rest of the pack comes into the room, presumably overhearing us talking.

I can see how badly each of them are itching to hug her. Our instincts have been worse than they've ever been since she's been in a drop for so long

Taehyung rushes forward and grabs he face, but he doesn't kiss her yet. She was drunk, she might not be okay with it sober and he knows better than to force it. She leans forward and kisses him though. Id be lying is i said I wasn't a little bit jealous. Why is he the first one to kiss her, he didn't even like her at first.

Jimin, Jin, and Hoseok look on in shock. If forgot they weren't there to witness them kiss the last time.

"When did this become a thing!?" Jimin is jealous. Very jealous.

She pulls away from Tae, not before biting his bottom lip like the little brat she is, making him yelp and pull back.

"When she was drunk. She got upset that I kissed Yoongi but not her, I said I didn't want our first kiss to be while she was drunk. Tae apparently didn't care and ran over and kissed her" I shake my head.

"Then Tae tried to fuck her in the pool!" Jungkook adds, earning a slap to his chest from Taehyung.

She giggles softly and i hear her stomach growl.

"Okay okay, let's get you some food" I pick her up and carry her to the kitchen, its about the time we usually go to bed but she's hungry, so first we get a snack.

Jin comes in and makes her a smoothie which she finishes rather quickly. Poor girl must he starving. I hand her a bottle of water and she gulps down half of that as well.

She rubs her eyes and heads back into the nest, whining once she sees everyone's positions. She's very fussy about her nests and how people lay in them. Yoongi and I found that out the hard way when we tried to move one night.

She rearranges everyone and leaves herself out again. Yoongi quickly gets up and pulls her into his arms, nuzzling into her neck. "Namjoon has been hogging you for 3 weeks kitten. THREE WEEKS! I'm getting some omega snuggles whether you like it or not"

She giggles as Yoongi presses a few kisses to the side of her neck.

We all cuddle up together and we all start to drift off to sleep.

Everything is okay now.

But it wasn't.

She's not there when Yoongi wakes up around 4. He shakes me awake and I open my eyes, a low growl falling from my lips, annoyed.

"What? It's the weekend, let me sleep."

"Where'd Y/n go?" He whispers

That gets my attention and I quickly get up. We search for her and eventually we find her sitting on the back porch. I relax a little until I catch her distressed scent, then I'm right back to being worried.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

YOU

It stings. Really bad. You don't know what possessed you to make you cut and burn your face but once that urge was there it was too strong to ignore.

You had cuts on your cheeks and along your jaw, just deep enough to bleed but not deep enough to leave permanent scars. Youve gotten good at that, knowing how deep you can go before you'll scar. You probably shouldn't be as proud of that as you are though.

You cut up your arms and your chest too. You took one of those magic eraser sponges and rubbed it over the same spot repeatedly until the area was bloody and oozing, leaving you with second degree friction burns. And they sting. Very badly. You'd discovered you could do this accidentally one day. You were trying to get hair dye off your skin and accidentally gave yourself a burn on the side of your face.

You'd done it on the back of your neck, the middle of your upper chest, the backseat of your hands, and the entire top half of your face. You knew you'd regret it as soon as you did it. The boys would see it and you'd be screwed. But at the time you couldn't bring yourself to care.

You hear movement behind you and you catch both Namjoon's and Yoongi's scents. You panic and bolt before they can see. You don't want them to see.

You run through the woods in the dark until your legs feel like jelly and they give out underneath you, sending you tumbling to the ground. You just close your eyes. You know its not gonna be long before they find you, they always find you when you run.

So you close your eyes and just lay there. You're tired and breathing heavily. You don't want to see the looks of disappointment on their faces when they see what you've done.

When you open your eyes again, its light out. That means its been at least a couple hours since you first got out here. You realize why shortly after you sit up. Your scent is very faint. You didn't mean to, but you must've been subconsciously masking your scent since you didn't want to be found. They must be worried sick. Now all you felt was guilt.

You pull yourself to your feet and look around, you have no idea where you are. All you can see are trees. Its pretty, the woods are. Green as far as you can see in all directions. Youve never been this deep into the woods before, you didn't even know they went this deep. You don't have your phone either. You're lost.

You walked aimlessly for hours. Hours. And you eventually made it out of the woods! Only, you didn't come out where you started. You look around and you're pretty much in the middle of nowhere. There's a few benches but other than that there's nothing.

So you start walking, there is a road a little ways down do you decide to follow it. It'll take you back to the city, at least you hope it will.

You do make it back into the city, and you guess by now it's around 5 or 6 considering where the sun is at in the sky. You don't know the address of the house, you'd never taken the time to look, so you cant exactly ask for directions.

You do know the name of that beach though, and you know how to get home from there.

You ask a woman with a young child, your voice comes out small and quiet. You're still not used to using it but you're gonna start trying to talk more. If you can do it when you're drunk you can do it while you're sober.

The lady gives you directions and you thank her, setting off in the direction she pointed you in.

Its dark by the time you get to the beach and you're thoroughly exhausted.

You sit down to rest, just for a while.

You need to take a break and catch your breath. You know you have an hour walk back home and you wont make it very far without collapsing if you don't stop and rest now.

Not long after you sit down on the sand, a man approaches you. He seems to be in his late 20's and he starts trying to talk to you.

You smile to be polite but you have a bad feeling in your gut so you quickly get up and try to leave. The man quickly gets up and grabs you by your waist, lifting you off the ground. He doesn't say a word as he carries you off somewhere down the beach.

You kick and scream but it makes no difference. No one else is on the beach. No one can hear you.

"Stay still." Your body listens immediately, you stop kicking and you fall silent. Fear swirls in your stomach and there's nothing you can do. He used his alpha voice on you, you can't fight back.

The last time you were on this beach you found that baby. Now this time, well whatever is about to happen you know it isn't gonna be good.

He carries you to a group of guys who all turn and look at you as you're put down on the sand.

Hands are on your body before you can even register the guys moving and all you can do is stand there.

It starts off innocent enough. Hands running along your waist and your neck. Caressing your hair and your face. Then they move to slapping your ass and grabbing your chest, their hands slowly slipping underneath your clothes.

After a while they get tired of your clothes and they pull them off, discarding them on the sand. All the while they're taunting you and teasing you. Calling you degrading names.

Your laid back on the sand and they started exploring your body. Kissing your chest, sucking on your nipples. It starts with heir mouths, kissing and nipping at your skin. Then their hands, one of then slips their fingers inside of you and you scream, still unable to move because of that command that one of them keeps saying every few minutes. Alpha commands don't last forever, they'll wear off after a certain amount of time. So they have to keep restating them.

One of them command you to keep quiet and its like you're choking on your own voice. It feels like you're suffocating. You want to scream, cry out, but you cant. No matter how hard you try you just cant.

They all take a turn with you, taking off their belts and forcing themselves inside of you. You dissociated through the majority of it, most of them had pretty small dicks so it wasn't extremely painful. It hurt still, but it wasn't unbearable pain wise at least. Then the last guy took a turn and you quickly found you weren't able to zone out for this one. He was big, and you could feel the veins inside of you. This man could probably pull girls just with his dick if he wasn't such a shitty person. You'd be lying if you said they weren't conventionally attractive men. Sure they weren't your boys, they weren't tens. But they were at least average or slightly above. And that bothered you. It upset you that you didn't find these men ugly.

You could smell the blood as the last guy pulled out, you could feel it running down your thighs. It was too thin to be anything other than blood. You don't think any of them came inside of you, though a few of them did over your chest or your stomach. You felt disgusting. Dirty.

They went back to kissing and touching you for a while, a few of them taking another turn while the others played with your boobs or sucked on your skin.

Once they were done with their dicks, one of them swiped his wet fingers into the sand and put them back inside of you. Every movement burned and scratched, the sand irritating your skin and your insides. He kept adding more and more sand and they took turns doing this for quite some time. They hit you with their belts and poured sand in your nose and mouth.

Their violations continued until the sun started to come up, only then did they leave. Leaving you there bleeding and in pain.

It took a little while but the alpha commands eventually wore off the first thing you did was pull yourself to the water and rinse off the best you could. You can barley walk but you manage to take a few steps at a time.

You get back to your clothes and shake the sand off, you're grateful they didn't rip your clothes. You dress yourself and sit back down on the sand.

And you cry. You don't know what else to do other than cry. You cant walk an hour home like this. You barely made it to the water and back.

You're there crying for at least a few hours before you feel someone wrap their arms around you from behind.

You hiss and scream, but you have no energy to put up a fight. "It's okay, shh it's okay Y/n. It's just me. I know I'm probably the worst person that could've found you and I'm sorry that it wasn't one of the others but I'm not gonna hurt you." Its Hoseok.

You relax a little bit against him, sobs bubbling up in your throat then making your whole body shake as they come out.

Hoseok turns you around and gasps as he sees your face but he doesn't comment on it. He pulls you into his chest and just holds you while you cry.

"You smell like other alphas... like.." he doesn't finish his sentence, a deep, deep growl coming from deep within his chest. His scent turns into a suffocatingly strong charcoal.

Cum is the strongest way to scent someone else, it has a distinct smell to it. You know he smells it on you. That must be why he's angry. He's angry at you for this. For betraying his pack. He said he wouldn't hurt you but that was before he knew what happened. You start to panic, frantically apologizing, telling him you didn't mean to. You didn't want to.

"You.. you think I'm mad at you..." he whispers, his voice shaking "No. No, no petal, no. I'm not mad at you. Never would I be mad at you for this. No sweetheart. Not at you." He holds you closer.

#bts #jeon jungkook #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #kim taehyung #min yoongi #park jimin #alpha beta omega #omegaverse #x reader #bts omegaverse #omegaverse fic #angst #bts fic #fluff #hurt/comfort #bangtan

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rabidline · 2 days ago

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Shoma Uno's Interview, after Ice Brave 2025 First Day (14 June 2025)

Full Transcript in Japanese by World Figure Skating: https://worldfigureskating-web.jp/news/13417/2/

Nikkan Premium (paid): https://www.nikkansports.com/premium/sports/figure/news/202506140001795.html

— What are your thoughts after finishing the first day?

Honestly, I'm surprised to be surrounded by even more people now than when I won the World Championships twice (laughs). But setting that aside (laughs), we created this ice show from scratch, and it wouldn't have reached this level of quality through my efforts alone. I received so much support from so many people. And it wasn't just business-related support—people went above and beyond, doing more than what was required.

There are only seven of us performing this show, and it's that very fact—being just seven—that made it both possible and extremely difficult. But everyone stuck with it until the end, and because of that, we were able to have an incredible opening day.

Also, this kind of demanding ice show is really hard to get through physically, but the applause and cheers from the audience kept us going. Of course, we’re doing this to entertain everyone, but their applause and cheers made it enjoyable for us, too. I feel like we created a true win-win show.

— Was there a particularly memorable number or program?

After finishing, I was reflecting, and I’d say Ice Brave had no real "rest" moments. We put a lot of time and effort into every part of it. While I’m the main skater, the other six aren’t just supporting cast or ensemble. I think of them as equal teammates. So there’s no single highlight—I can proudly say, “All of it.”

— You had an ice dance scene with Marin Honda as well.

Doing it made me realize how different ice dance is from singles. I could only apply about 10–20% of the skills I developed in singles—it was really tough. It wasn’t just a collaboration piece; since this was my first time producing an ice show, I wanted to try new challenges and create something that stood on its own as a complete program.

I’m confident I can grow even more, but I also feel proud of how hard I worked. The applause felt like praise for all the practice I’ve done up until now (smiles). With singles, it was always about how much time you put into a program and what result you got. Of course, there were nerves back then too, but you rarely get moments where you hear that kind of cheering and applause. It felt amazing to skate today.

— How did it feel to open the show in your hometown, Aichi?

Even as I was exiting the rink, I felt so grateful that so many people came to watch. We held long rehearsals to deliver something truly special to the audience. Since this was my first time doing so many things, there were lots of mistakes, lots of trial and error. But thanks to a lot of help, we managed to create something wonderful.

For me to be able to say it was “wonderful” means I gave everything I could right now. Doing this show at Morikoro Park, a familiar place… ah, I’m no good (laughs). I’m too exhausted to speak fluently right now, sorry (laughs).

— Were there any programs you felt you were able to brush up since your competitive days?

The concept of the show was centered around my competitive programs. It’s about me in the present revisiting those past pieces. We even had a land-based dancer do some choreography, which pushed me into areas I hadn’t explored before. Since I’ve spent every day honing my skating skills, I decided to take on the things I’d been neglecting.

Ice Brave was created as the first step into that journey. I don’t know if I’m really answering your question, but every piece has its own memories—like “this was super hard, so let’s have Stéphane (Lambiel) do it” (laughs), or Boléro, which I finally felt came together after a year, so I saved it for the end. See You Again is super old, but it’s a good program.

Looking back at all the different styles I’ve done, I’ve discovered what I’m good at and what I struggle with. I also gained experience in how to teach programs I’m not even skating in myself, which was a valuable learning experience.

— Do you ever feel nostalgic for your competitive career?

Not at all (laughs). Honestly, when I was competing in singles, it always felt like I was being chased every day—that intensity was great in its own way. It’s not that I miss or don’t miss being active, but rather, skating alone felt lonely. I skated Loco (Balada para un Loco) solo, but I really enjoy working together with others, building something in the same direction. After today’s opening night, I felt like I now find more fulfillment and joy in that shared experience.

— How did Stéphane Lambiel’s skating look to you?

Stéphane is 40 now, right? And he’s incredibly energetic! The quality of his performance at 40 is amazing. I mean, he’s doing the programs I used to do as a competitive skater (laughs). That’s seriously impressive.

Before he joined us, we were all working hard, but once he did, everything lit up. It became a space full of laughter—and also, rehearsals stopped progressing (laughs). Half-joking, half-serious (laughs). But that’s how fun the space became.

Even though he jokes around, he picks things up quickly and puts in real effort. You can really see his determination to make the show great, even if it means pushing himself. He’s more than just a coach—he’s more like a close friend, and that’s how I’ve always seen him.

— When did you start practicing ice dance?

Around October of last year, I changed skates and started from there. Not every day, but I practiced when I could. From the beginning, I knew I wanted to include one ice dance piece in the show, so I made that request early on.

— Why did you choose Loco (Balada para un Loco) as a solo, and Legends as a duet with Lambiel?

For Loco, well… half the reason is that I liked the piece back when I was competing. I knew I wouldn’t be able to recreate the same quality right now, but I thought maybe I could bring out a different version that’s unique to who I am today.

Since Ice Brave is a show that traces my journey, I wanted to include programs that viewers have emotional connections to. Some were ones that left strong impressions; others were programs I struggled with, and that’s why I chose Loco.

As for Legends, I’m not sure—it just had a good reputation (wry smile). I’ve heard people say they liked it, but I can’t view myself objectively, so I don’t know how “great” it really is. But I’ve received positive feedback from others, including fellow skaters, so I figured, “Well, let’s include it.”

We were also considering skating Gravity together, but… ah, you can tell I’m struggling to talk about things I don’t feel strongly about (laughs). Through a process of elimination, and because it’s a good and popular program, we decided, “This works, right?” Something like that. Sorry (laughs).

— Any interest in returning to competition through ice dance?

When we decided to do ice dance, I didn’t want it to be seen as just a collaboration piece, so getting questions like this actually makes us happy.

What I’ve realized through trying ice dance is that everyone’s level is really high—it’s an incredible discipline. I don’t mean this in a disrespectful way, but I hope we can continue to build something that’s truly great as a pair in this show, to the point where we could be seen as real ice dancers.

— Who leads during ice dance? Do you call out to each other?

Not really. Especially during spins. Seriously, it’s harder than it looks. Just doing one rotation is a challenge. I hope people can understand just how difficult it is. It’s really tough. Everything easily goes off alignment.

— Who taught you ice dance?

(Kenji) Miyamoto-sensei used to do ice dance, so he taught us. We also learned bits and pieces from various people when we could. Kazuki Kushida had dabbled in ice dance too, so we asked him some things as well. That’s how it went.

#shoma uno #figure skating #fs #ice brave #ice brave 2025 #marin honda #stephane lambiel #kenji miyamoto #kazuki kushida #i want to post this on reddit but i got banned for using too much vpn hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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rotting-ink · 2 days ago

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I think I've played every prologue for all three of the games at least a dozen times through each but since OLL was the recent release, I have to scream about how much I love it. I'm sorry that this is so long, just ignore me if it gets too boring.

OLL was spectacular, I felt so immersed the whole time. The way you describe the scenery alone is magnificent. The attention to detail is incredible, I went through the hobby section obsessively just to get every possible answer. I adore the depth and nuance that you give to every character, including the MCs. I love them both so much.

We have Royal MC being a sheltered lamb between their illness and their upbringing but you did in such a way that it felt like a subtle background that can be woven in with however you choose to customise them from the prologue onwards in their character or decision making. It's great that you know they aren't this way out of spite but because they have been deliberately kept ignorant and you might be able to change that if you want to. They haven't tried to grow and broaden their horizons much of their own volition but they've never been encouraged to try or given reason to either.

You can assume that Royal MC forgot about their little Servant MC friend who saved them because they're too self-absorbed to think about them outside of how lonely they get, you can equally assume it's due to their illness and that they put it down to the amount of people allowed around them was restricted because of how fragile their health became (hence why they were eventually sent off to that resort which was well-guarded and with a specific clientele) or someone just made up a little story about Servant MC having to leave to placate Royal MC when they noticed their playmate never came back and they were told to try not to think about it, just like every other thing in their life that might emotionally unbalance them and risk their health.

Then all those years later, it's not too surprising that Royal MC only thinks about them vaguely like any other childhood memory. I imagine it wouldn't be too different on the Servant MC's end since they have a 100 things to do in a day and 99 problems accompanying (Arkasha sounds needy enough to occupy a large source of energy regardless on how Servant MC sees them) and don't really have the time or energy to think about the little Royal they used to look after and saved with their magic, however much that altered the trajectory of both their lives.

Servant MC in the same boat, as far as being ultimately powerless to control their life, but I love how you bring attention to their less privileged status without us having to tell them from something as simple as their hair even before they're being hauled in front of the spymaster in the prologue or that punishing walk back to the castle after the funeral later on.

I find it fascinating in how both of them are so utterly powerless. They've had their lives defined by forces stronger than them for as long as they've lived. Even Royal MC, with all their privilege and protection, can't simply do as they please even if that's something so simple as their first kiss, and they too have had their life ruled by the Tsarina and their illness. It was so gut-wrenching when they were forced apart - it felt like one of those clichés on separating twins, they're soulmates! I need a route where they can reunite, it's just too sad to think they'll be haunting one another in the narrative.

The Tsarina is superb. Truly, she encapsulates everything you can imagine a ruler to be. A woman full of contradictions, prejudices, hypocrisies, secrets, love and hatred and quite the work ethic. The contrast to how she behaves around her children and around servant MC fleshes her out as a person and we don't even have a POV from her. How I can see they way she can be a bystander/ally/antagonist in your route just from the prologue alone while not feeling like I'm being force-fed about the kind of role she might have in a route based on choices, is sublime.

I've got so many theories on Servant MC and why she hates them so much. I am burning with curiosity. Is the funeral Servant MC was invited to a red herring and the dead man isn't their father? Is the Tsarina pissy because her sister had her husband's illegitimate child or did her Sis have a lover on the side and still have an affair with Tatsiana's husband anyway. Was Sis planning to legitimise her baby and that would have somehow been a threat/insult to the Tsarina and her family? Some old, irrational fear about her children being supplanted or endangered by her nibling? Does it simply come down to an old inferiority complex and pride, that her sister, the favoured and talented magic user managed to produce a child with strong magic potential and said child used it to save their helpless cousin who was born without magic? Some posthumous victory over her? That even after disposing of her sister and husband, Tatsiana has her own ghosts haunting her narrative? What are you hiding?! Oh, and I really need to know, what the sister's name was. Surely that's not a spoiler? (I can't tell if the DAO elements are really there or if I've just been binging it too much)

The Tsarina was one of the highlights but I was positively bouncing at the RO POVs (RIP post boy, I hope you at least got a reach around to go with the knot before the end.). I am so torn now about whether I want Dasha's love or to be the bestie. But I am all there for seeing what they're like on Servant MC route, having to see and interact with someone that is essentially living how they fear might become of them at the Royal Court if they don't please the right people; MC is from nothing but like them, has magic. This should have uplifted them, but they are still treated like dirt because the Tsarina, and by proxy everyone else at court, refused to accept this and Servant MC actually ends up more downtrodden because of it. I don't imagine finding out that Servant MC is a bastard royal would do anything to calm them down. On a lesser note, I want to pet and cuddle Sabnock but I also want to keep my extremities intact, it's a struggle.

Sasha looking balanced and cool but you can definitely see the hints of obsession than can develop just from knowing they researched their special incest interest. Given that you said Sasha would get unstable after Royal MC's disappearance, latch on to Servant MC as a substitute and get protective over them, I would love to spectate the dumpster fire of Sasha developing class consciousness when they realise the kind of life Servant MC is living and that Mama would rather have Servant MC thrown from a window than be allowed to live the good life as Sasha's kept lover. The drama!

Even the little glimpses where we don't get a POV or just a brief view like Spymaster Rune were so intriguing. I did love the Spymaster cameo and can't wait to see what role they have on each route and I am in awe that you managed to give the Aide so much character without once having them speak. The Aide is super cute with the Royal MC. Treats them like a little pet and gets sour and puts angrily under the mask when they pay more attention to other people. Methinks they've grown more attached than they'd ever admit. BTW, I have to know, is the Aide our Servant MC's ex/former hookup? Like, can that be a thing with them?

How would life with Pasha actually work? They wouldn't want to bring either MC with them to the frontlines with his regiment so what's the plan there when he has to return?

The breakfast scene was adorable and informative, you glean so much about the family and their dynamics just from watching them all interact in that scene. How Stas' girls are treated feels especially poignant when you have the comparison to Servant MC (and to a lesser extent, the Mad Heir). You've spun such an intricate web and it leaves me in awe.

Bottom line, I think you're amazing, I adore your work and I can't wait to see what you have in store for us.

Fun fact, this message was too long to send in discord. I had to send it in three parts to show the ducks. And I'm a schmuck that pays for Nitro.

This was so fuckin cool to read, holy hell. The amount of times I love to be as subtle as possible, I always pull back and wonder if it goes into just... Not even leaving a mark, like too quiet? And then I have insane people coming into my askbox and pointing out all the things they've noticed!!! And, yeah, I go fucking insane. This was so excellent, I love this so so so much.

I hate outright stating an MC is THIS- when you can have a different outlook. I don't ever want to say the Royal is ignorant because they don't care, because they could! Or they're ignorant because they haven't been given a chance, because what if you want to play a little asshole that doesn't care? What if you only want them to get the class conscious arc when with Arkasha or Pavel or The Aide? Or fuck that, and you skip through life with Sasha!

Again, with the Servant MC- I don't think i'll ever cover why they slide to a hazy memory. Perhaps just the natural progression of childhood? Do they even remember that horrible day they nearly choked on their own lung? Perhaps the Servant didn't matter that much. A friend you liked but when they left your sight, that was it? Or maybe they did wail for their friend, even when the Tsarina said they weren't allowed near anymore.

I genuinely hate any media that has a character outright bemoan their place in life. Esp when it's ingrained into society. Like why are you wasting time letting them whine about their state in life when you can do something better? Quietly infer while also showing they're used to it. The best characters I like to see are the ones who have gotten used to their shit ass life, but still fighting to do more, try to have a better time by JUST A SMIDGE. It's like the Irene Adler story from the Sherlock Holmes books. She isn't bemoaning the state of women in Victorian times- Instead she fucking gets to business. She one ups Sherlock, then runs off to marry for love. For love. FOR LOVE. Girl, you had a love affair with a king, have blackmail on that loser, and used it to be happier, rather than being used and left powerless. Genuinely, an insane ick for me is shit ass writing that forgoes everything just to have some person whine out loud. Like shut up. Do something.

Also, I do love the Tsarina. I don't think we're ever going to get a POV from her, or at least an indepth POV. Just something seen from her eyes. I want people to see what they want to see, an unrepentant villain, or just a deeply hurt woman willing to do anything for her own children. Keep in mind, if you pick adopted, she still counts you as her child. She loves the Royal so much, in a way, even adopted, she couldn't extend to her nibling. At all. And it's not because one time her sister didn't share her doll or something.

Also can't wait to get started on the Servant Route of the demo. I promise things are going to get disgustingly fucky on that side of things. The sudden dad-funeral is on purpose, I promise. There's going to be more time spent on that, because what? You just learned the Servant is the nibling of the Tsarina, a bastard, and bam, funeral time? DW, many thoughts are going to be about that. That shit AINT the last of it.

BUT YES! The plan is, that you can pick how you view the aide. A titan of terror, a former lover when you both were young (they're the same age, or I think the Aide is a year older), a replacement for them that they can feel good or bad about. You can't not have an opinion of the Royal's guard.

Also not to spoil, but Pavel keeps his own modest home, so would rather the MC stay there, instead of being at the front lines. MORE ON THAT ON THE 9 O CLOCK NEWS.

I'm glad that was caught. So much. Now to feel a lot about Stas' daughters and their acceptance into the family.

ANYWAY, NO YOU'RE AMAZING, AND THIS WAS THE BEST ASK EVER, I JUST COULDN'T STOP SMILING THROUGHOUT IT ALL, IT MADE ME SO HAPPY, I LOVE LONG ASKS LIKE THIS!!!

#rottedinkspills #ask

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viktorarcanedeservesbetter · 3 days ago

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OOOO I love this all and I'd like to also add my two cents!

One cent: I don't think Jayce and Viktor were ever going to be allowed to directly make inventions that would actually help people (specifically those in Zaun) not necessarily because of any anti-Zaunite mentality, but because there would be no profit. Which, to me, is why their inventions they demonstrate to Heimerdinger are helper products for workers-not things like air purifiers or assistive technology for the masses. Almost like a compromise: these things will help Zaunites by reducing pain, injury, harm-but it doesn't stop them from being exploited-aka it won't reduce the amount of money people make off the workers.

Both the claw and the gauntlets (though we later see them used as weapons oops lol) can be argued-and they do present them as- things that would still allow the houses that make money off the miners in the fissures, just without risking worker health. I can totally see (had Heimerdinger not persuaded Jayce to avoid presenting them) the council actually taking these on-because it wouldn't have effected their money-making.

Something like air purifiers? Why would they sponsor those if there isn't money to be made off of them (unless they were to sell them). The most ever done for Zaun up to this point in their direct benefit was the Kiramman's ventilation system.

Which like-wild promoting as giving people a basic need such as fresh air as "innovative" but hey! That's a different post.

All in all-I don't think they would have ever been allowed to make things that would directly help people. Because 1) They're already wary of magic (certainly not helped by Heimerdinger's presence) and 2) there is no direct benefit (aka money) that the council/Piltover gets from those types of inventions the way the Hexgates benefit them.

and Cent Two:

I personally don't think Hextech continues after the show. Not only did everyone experience the horrors and damages of magic-but the Hexgates have been destroyed (save for the main physical structure) and not a lot of people, due to the renewed fear of magic itself-are going to jump to the urge to restart everything.

Additionally-as Jayce explained-the poisoning effecting Ekko's tree was from the misuse and overuse of the Hexgates. If he spread that around or it got out-everyone living in Zaun is going to be rightfully pissed and try and prevent it from happening again if they were to try.

I mean, Jinx was only able to rack it with the notes from Jayce's journal, and Ekko and Powder required Heimerdinger's help (as he understood how hextech worked) to make the acceleration device-which, as proven in show-is deadly if used even past 4 seconds. (shout out to the Goat Vastaya employed by Ambessa, you didn't deserve that) So like, even a device that isn't a weapon (though it was used as one-boom, headshot!) or overused for money-is deadly.

(We can also talk about how all Hextech used in the show, from the hexgates to the gems to Ekko's device, ends up being destructive no matter what in the end.)

Hextech-any form of it-will always fail, no matter if it's Jayce and Viktor at the helm or someone else-because magic is not meant to be used like that-not without consequence. I think Caitlyn (and Vi) would come to understand it, and while she keeps the schematics, I don't think she'd continue Hextech.

So I can totally see the council banning magic use again. Maybe not like Demacia, but close to it. Begrudgingly maybe-as that means the money they got from the Hexgate use is gone-but then again, they all almost got assimilated from magic use, so they might be okay without it.

HOWEVER

I can see someone going, "well, Hextech went wrong because they used it wrong, but I, random scientist, can do it right" and therefore starting the whole process all over again. The show kind of proves Heimerdinger right in that regard-it was never meant to be manipulated like that-and there will never be a "right person" to control magic for commercial use the way the hexgates were used.

But, as proven with Ekko's device, the Hexgate use in general-Hextech use will always end in destruction. Hopefully the characters left would understand that-and thus (hopefully, for everyone's sake) Hextech dies and fades with it's creators.

who decides the future of hextech?

Hot take: I don't think Hextech functions like a scrappy tech startup at all. I know the Arcane writers have made this comparison themselves, but it doesn't really track with what we see in the show.

It's made pretty clear that Jayce and Viktor have at best limited control over what direction Hextech goes in. In a city that's hostile to and suspicious of magic, they need the continued goodwill of the Council, and the wealthy families who sit on the Council, for their work to continue to exist at all. And that shapes how Hextech develops.

For the first 6-10 years of its existence (however long you think the S1 timeskip is), Hextech consists of one (1) project: the Hexgates. A major piece of international transit infrastructure, utilizing a brand-new technology that no one knew was even possible a few years earlier, and requiring a massive financial outlay for construction years before seeing any profits. Frankly, taking that from the very first shaky proof of concept to a fully functioning piece of infrastructure in less than 10 years is astonishing. This isn't like inventing Facebook; this is equivalent to creating the internet itself.

An infrastructure project on the scale of the Hexgates could be entirely state-funded (and therefore state-controlled, answering to the Council). But from the dialogue and visual storytelling, I think it's reasonable to infer that Hextech functions more like a public-private partnership.

In the modern era, PPPs have come to be associated with privatization and neoliberal capitalism. But funding infrastructure development this way was common in the 19th century too, closer to the time period from which Arcane draws its steampunk-ish inspiration.

So who's picking up the tab? I think it's some combination of government funding from the Council and private funding from Mel Medarda and the Kirammans.

We see one other Kiramman-funded infrastructure project in the show: the Undercity ventilation system.

And, as we see in that case, what may seem like a purely benevolent investment for the good of the city as a whole comes with a very high potential for control. (And where do the Hexgate plans end up at the end of the show? In the Kiramman family vault, accessible only with the Kiramman key.)

The Kiramman family crest is all over Hextech at Progress Day. It's prominent on the stage when Jayce speaks, positioned as equal to his own House.

Cassandra Kiramman introduces Jayce's speech, and Jayce gets trotted around the Kiramman family tent like a show pony beforehand.

The Kiramman crest is also on the box containing the hexgems, which makes me suspect that the facility needed to process the gemstones is either owned or financed by the Kirammans.

Mel's influence is more subtle. There's no Medarda crest on anything associated with Hextech; once you learn a bit about Mel's relationship with her family, that is not surprising. But clearly Mel feels comfortable speaking to other investors on behalf of Hextech, without feeling the need to run it by Jayce or Viktor first.

I think this exchange implies that (1) getting additional, outside investors is something new that they haven't done to finance earlier rounds of Hextech development, and (2) Mel is planning ahead in case the Council doesn't like the direction Hextech is going next and they need to secure additional funding.

I wouldn't be surprised if Mel was the one who steered them toward shipping and long-distance trade as a marketable use for Hextech in the first place, something many of the councillors seem to have an economic stake in.

Throughout this whole scene with Jayce and Mel, the Hexgate model sitting on her desk is very prominent. It's the first thing we see in the scene; the color and lighting make it stand out; and it appears in the frame in multiple shots. It's the thing that's always there between them.

Mel and Cassandra Kiramman are also councilors, and along with Heimerdinger they are Hextech's main allies on the Council--3 out of 7. Jayce and Viktor really can't afford to piss off any of them...which gets complicated when they want opposite things.

At the time of Progress Day, Hextech is at a turning point.

This conversation implies that they have not had a lot of freedom to develop and build whatever they wanted in the years during the timeskip. It's an interesting reversal of the dynamic we saw from them in 1.02 and 1.03. This time Jayce is the one forging ahead, confident they can get what they want, while Viktor is the one pointing out obstacles. (This is also the first time we see Viktor's face post-timeskip and register how much sicker he's become, which...oof.)

Regardless of how much they talk about "bringing magic to the people," I think it's notable that both their little spiels focus on how these inventions would increase worker productivity. This is a presentation designed for people who are thinking about their bottom line. And they seem to expect that any new developments with Hextech will have to be given Council approval before they can proceed.

(I think all of this puts the Hexcore in a slightly different light, too. It's quite possibly the first Hextech device since Jayce's original prototype that they've built without thinking about the pitch meeting. It's not a single-purpose object with an immediate, obvious use. In the beginning, it seems to recapture some of that original sense of wonder and discovery. And Viktor built it. I can see how he would be protective of his creation even before things Got Weird with it.)

And then, of course, everything goes off the rails. The gemstone gets stolen; Jayce gets pulled onto the Council. And after that point, every new Hextech object that Jayce makes is a weapon.

Jayce and Viktor's arc can be read as a story about the hubris of scientists thinking they can control forces they don't understand and anticipate every possible consequence, or a story about their naivete in thinking they could keep their research somehow above politics in a world full of conflict. And it's not not about those things. But it can also be read as a story about how discovery, creativity, and people's natural altruistic impulses get constrained by capitalism, and how often innovation is only valued if it can be made to serve war or profit.

(As for who controls the future of Hextech after the end of the show? With Viktor, Jayce, Mel and Heimerdinger all gone from Piltover...Caitlyn, probably. A detail I would love to see someone use in a fic.)

#you do not know how painful it was for me to put Heimerdinger and right in the same sentence #like he was right! but he never bothered to teach Jayce and Viktor about the actual dangers #he just did his fear speeches and warnings #anyways this is not a heimerdinger hate post #OP i love you for this post! its so good #such a good description of how Hecxtech works politically and financially #arcane #arcane meta

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carewyncromwell · 2 years ago

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consider it a what if scenario in this instance, but how would jacob and carewyn's dad react to hearing how one graduated with honors from the very school that once expelled him, and the other going on to become a well respected lawyer? lets say that it was by pure chance he heard of other people talking about the two and put two and two together.

not that hed go out of his way to reach out to them but moreso his realization how the two managed to achieve the respectable lives he so desperately wanted them to, but without him in the picture. how would that make him feel?

Okay, this message gave me such joy that I had to set it aside to give it a full response, because AWWW, ANON, YOU THINKING OF POOR, BAD-FATHER-BUT-NOT-A-BAD-MAN EVAN BACH!! You sweet thing!! 🥹 💙💙💙

So I actually do have a few headcanons about Evan after he left his wife and children behind, one of which ties in nicely to your question.

A few days after his departure, Evan was visited by an Obliviator from the Ministry of Magic. That Obliviator's name was Donna.

In most cases of Muggles learning that their child and/or spouse has magic, that Muggle doesn't leave or divorce their spouse, so there was some concern that Evan could blab about the entire Wizarding World's existence, if he were allowed to keep his memories of his family. This is why Donna was sent to tail Evan and, when the time was right, covertly modify his memory. But to Donna's surprise, while she tailed Evan Bach, she was surprised to discover that he made no attempt whatsoever to expose Lane, their children, or the existence of magic. Evan didn't even flinch when his friends or family would try to get the truth of his and Lane's separation out of him -- he would just firmly and unwaveringly say that Lane lied to him and then shut down the conversation altogether before it could go any further. He never even tried to make up lies about Lane, like that she was involved in criminal activity or something, so as to better justify his actions. He would shoot down anyone proposing nasty, untrue things about his ex-wife and seemed to resignedly accept it if anyone judged him badly for leaving his family. And this was why, after a whole week of not having to intervene, Donna finally just decided to visit Evan in person and explain the situation to him.

"Look, Mr. Bach -- your situation is...unusual, in our world. It just is. Most Muggle parents who find out their child has magic, well...they choose their child. They choose to stay married for their sake -- to keep their family together. Even I must admit, I can't understand why you wouldn't make that choice..." "Well, of course not. You're magic too, aren't you? Like Lane, and Jacob. Of course you wouldn't understand. ...I didn't ask to join this 'World' of yours. I never even had a proper choice in the matter. And even if you think I should've just followed my wife and children blindly, I have no interest in being part of a World made up of nothing but lies and deception. And I frankly think it's disgusting that you think it's best to just rewrite people's minds and lives if they don't march lockstep with...with your blatant despotism." "Despotism? Come now, that's a bit harsh..." "Sorry if I don't see a government who would arrange for you to stalk me and then corner me in some dark alley just to keep their precious secrets safe in a particularly flattering light." "It's not just for the sake of our secrets, Mr. Bach. ...Yes, it is true, I was sent to Obliviate you. But your situation isn't just surprising because of your departure -- it's also how you've acted after leaving. You never once made as if to expose Lane or your children's magic. You've never even tried to defend yourself from rumors by making Lane look bad." "Why would I? Lane lied to me. ...Anyone who knows me knows that's enough reason." "I think a lot of people would want to create additional reasons. Make themselves look better, by doing so. You're an honorable man, Evan Bach. That's why you've never fought back to defend yourself, when people get upset about what you did. That's why you couldn't talk about your children, when your cousin pressed you about them. And that's why...I'm here talking to you, not sneaking around anymore behind your back. ...You see...I want to ask you, myself. Do you want me to modify your memory?" "...Want it?" "Yes. I could remove the painful memories of what happened -- give you a more peaceful life, to remember. I could even rewrite the memories of the people around you, so they won't ask about your family anymore...maybe even give you that promotion you would've gotten, if it weren't for your boss catching wind of what happened with your family. You could start fresh -- " "Never." "What?" "Never. I don't want your fancy stick anywhere near my mind, nor my memories." "But you...you've already said you have no intention of being part of your family's World. If you want nothing to do with the Wizarding World, and you don't want to have to keep lying by omission...wouldn't it be so much easier to just forget our World even exists?" "Of course it would! Naturally it'd be easier. But I don't want this to be easy. ...I left my wife and children, Madam. I may have my reasons for what I did, but that doesn't change the fact that I failed. I failed them as a husband, as a father...as the man of the house, and as a man overall. And worst of all...I left without even saying goodbye. I couldn't even look my wife in the face. ...I couldn't even apologize to my son...knowing he never would've accepted it anyway. Knowing that he'll hate me for the rest of his life, same as I resented my own father. ...I am a coward, Madam. It's something I never wished to be, but I proved it before God, with what I did. ...But even though I couldn't rescue my family from themselves -- from this crazy, asinine 'World' that your lot has roped them into...I do not want to be rescued from this burden. Least of all by one of your kind. ...One of the last things Lane said to me is that all I did in our marriage was make more and more mistakes, just trying to escape from my previous ones. Well, I'm done running. These mistakes I've made -- all of them -- are my burden to bear...and I don't want you or any other...freak Ministry agent taking them away from me. ...I don't want peace. Especially not your version of it."

Despite Evan's clear dislike of magic users, Donna couldn't help but by moved by his sentiment. And so she left Evan with all of his memories and reported back to her superiors that Evan Bach was no threat to Ministry security. Amazingly, after watching the Muggle store manager for another month, Donna's superiors eventually agreed, and Evan Bach was left to his own devices.

Evan had no further contact with the Wizarding World for the next thirteen years. It was only in 1988 when Donna sought Evan out at his office, in disguise as a manager of another store. He was not pleased to see her.

"I thought I made it quite clear I want nothing more to do with your World. What are you doing here?" "Nothing business-related this time, Mr. Bach. I'm just here to thank you." "...Thank me? For what?" "Your daughter." "...My...?" "Yes. Carewyn Cromwell. That was Lane's maiden name, wasn't it?" "...It was. But I don't..." "I have a daughter too...Chiara's her name. She's the same age as Carewyn. She has...a condition that makes it very difficult for her to make friends. But earlier this year, your daughter reached out to her, and since then, Chiara hasn't been able to stop talking about how wonderful your daughter is. In letters, at home...all she's been able to talk about is how kind and selfless and brave and amazing Carewyn is. So I came to thank you, Mr. Bach...for being the reason my daughter has such a good friend."

Evan was so speechless that for a moment, all he could do was stand up, cross to the window, and look out. Donna Lobosca tilted her head a bit, watching him carefully. Then, feeling some pity, she offered --

"...Chiara sent me a picture with the two of them together. Would you like to -- ?" "No. ...Winnie is one of your kind. Lane raised her to be just like her. Like Jacob. Anything she is...I can take no credit for." "I wouldn't say that. You're Carewyn's father, aren't you? That means half of her genes, and half of everything she is, comes from you."

This sentiment didn't comfort Evan, though. He refused to turn around and face Donna again.

"...Please leave."

Despite the detachment of his posture, his expression reflected in the glass of his window betrayed genuine remorse and pain. It made Donna not press him further, and instead return to him some privacy. It was clear to her at least that Evan was hesitant to engage with Carewyn, even from afar. He'd left her at such a young age that she likely didn't even remember him, so she undoubtedly was shaped more by Lane and Jacob than by him. She would never be a "normal" Muggle the way Evan wanted -- how could she be, if she was the type to befriend a werewolf? And perhaps Evan might've felt that he didn't deserve any praise, not even indirectly, for any good his daughter had done.

Donna had to wonder if Evan Bach had shed any tears, upon passing up the opportunity to see how his daughter had grown. Perhaps he would've, if he'd taken stock of how much Carewyn's ears and thin lips resembled his.

Evan didn't learn anything more of his children until the spring of 1991, when Donna actually used the Muggle Post to send Evan a letter. Evan didn't want to open it and actually fancied for a short time chucking it right into the fire -- but reluctantly he held back the urge and, settling down in his old armchair, he opened it. Inside he found a short note, with a smaller envelope inside.

Mr. Bach, I know the last time we met, you didn't want to see Carewyn's picture -- but enclosed are some photographs of your son and daughter from their and my daughter Chiara's graduation ceremony. Jacob truly is remarkable -- he received a certificate of merit for earning all O's on his NEWTs: a very, very rare achievement, only achieved by the most intelligent and talented of wizards. As for Carewyn, she graduated as Head Girl for her class and, according to Chiara, is set to become a lawyer for our Ministry -- a very respectable career in both your World and ours, I should think. I shall say it again, Mr. Bach -- whether you believe it or not, half of what these children are came from you. You should be very proud. Donna

Evan read the note several more times in silence. Then, putting it and the other smaller envelope away in the drawer of his side table, he left them there as he went to the kitchen to make himself some supper. He wouldn't open his drawer again until the following week, when looking for a pair of scissors, and when he did, he shut it quickly, unable to look at the note or second envelope.

Jacob, earning honors in all his classes. Honors. Jacob had never been good in school -- he'd always been a slacker: a delinquent, who constantly got himself into trouble. How was Evan supposed to feel, knowing that his son was succeeding, but only in that World of delinquents and liars, rather than in normal, proper society, the way Evan had always dreamed? He'd always known Jacob was smart -- he definitely could've become a doctor someday, or perhaps worked in a well-respected lab somewhere, if he'd really applied himself...

And Carewyn...Head Girl, and now set to become a lawyer? How respectable would that have been, if she was actually going to be a real lawyer -- one Evan could've recommended to his friends and associates, if they needed legal advice? Instead, all the legal advice she'd be giving out would be perfectly worthless -- her whole career would instead be based entirely on laws like the one that tried to demand Evan either give up and stay with Lane out of duress or have his mind turned inside out...

It took Evan nearly half a year before he finally forced himself to take that second smaller envelope out of his side table drawer and open it. He was alarmed by how the pictures moved -- poor Evan had never seen any magical photographs before, and they were incredibly unnerving. The girl who had to be Carewyn kept looking away, off into the corner of the frame. She appeared rather respectable, despite how bizarre her and everyone else's attire was -- her makeup was very neat. And the boy next to her...no...that couldn't be Jacob, could it? He couldn't possibly be so young...Evan himself was in his fifties, so Jacob would have to be nearing thirty by now --

And yet...even with how messy and ridiculous his hair looked, or how youthful his face appeared...Evan immediately knew at once that this was indeed his son. His eyes were hollowed-out like a skull's now, and his dark curls had grown so long and out-of-control that he'd had to tie them back in a ribbon the way a girl would...but it was Jacob. And clinging onto his sister and mother, Jacob's moving photographic self couldn't seem to stop silently laughing through his tears.

He was happy. So happy he was crying...

Evan had to put the pictures of his children face down on his side table, out of his line of sight. He then rested his arms in his lap, holding his face in his hands and then sliding them down along his cheeks as he breathed deeply.

He knew seeing Jacob and Carewyn would be painful. He knew it would be -- that's why he'd resisted it for so long. He'd rebuilt his life to the best of his ability, even while wrestling with his guilt, but he'd kept them at arm's length because he knew that Jacob and Carewyn didn't want to be in his world, and he wanted nothing to do with theirs. They didn't belong in his world, no more than he belonged in theirs. And truly, there was no point in trying to dig up the past when that wasn't going to change.

It didn't mean it didn't hurt, knowing that he'd failed as a father so much that Jacob and Carewyn's lives were fuller, with him not in it.

After a long moment, Evan reached out toward the side table again. He fiddled with the edge of the last photograph for a few seconds before finally flipping it around and looking at it.

Lane looked tired. Her face had become a bit gaunter and there were more wrinkles around her eyes, though not as bad as Jacob and Carewyn's -- Evan couldn't help but think that their eyes looked like his now, with how deep the bags under them were...

Even so...Lane smiled just as brightly as she did on their wedding day.

And it was this, strangely, that seemed to soften the creases in Evan's brow, even as tears welled up in his eyes.

Evan had failed his family in so many ways. He hadn't been able to guide them and mentor them -- to protect them and give them everything they wished for. To keep them on the straight and narrow, the way he always tried to be. But even with this...Lane had found happiness. She clearly hadn't had to go back to her cruel family -- she clearly had kept her freedom and was able to thrive, even on her own. Even while having their children to look after...

And this, strangely, brought Evan some bizarre, bittersweet kind of comfort. Perhaps, in the end...letting his family find happiness without him ultimately was the one thing he'd managed to do right.

x~x~x~x

"If I could see the future and how this plays out, I bet it's better than where we are now, But after going through this, It's easier to see the reason why…"

~“No Surprise,” by Chris Daughtry

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #evan bach #my writing #lane cromwell #carewyn cromwell #jacob cromwell #chiara lobosca #I want to throttle tumblr -- it absolutely REFUSED to let me edit this post without saving it every 30 seconds #it kept glitching while trying to auto-save #even now it refuses to let me edit anything #and then I wouldn't be able to save it at all #ugh #but yeah I've said it before and I'll say it again -- evan truly is not a terrible person: just a pretty poor father #oh yes and evan calls carewyn 'winnie' because that's what lane calls her #'carey' is the nickname carewyn's friends like bill charlie and tonks call her later #'winnie' is lane's nickname for her exclusively #though lane's siblings pearl claire and *especially* blaise try co-opting it later #much to both carewyn and jacob's irritation #caps cw

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