#and then dont accept ''a woman is someone who identifies as a woman'' as an answer

[rouge-the-bat]

people tend to be like "lol this guy is sooo in denial" if a straight person has sex with someone of the same gender, but actually. they really might not be.

people can have sex with others without being attracted to them, and they just want to have fun having sex.

or hell, they could just have the occasional exception of gay attraction, but its rare enough that theyd find it inaccurate/misleading to tell others theyre bi (and dont have interests in microlabels). them going on a dating site and saying theyre bi would expand the dating pool to a lot more people they would just have no interest in.

or, they may be bisexual but heteromantic, and when looking for relationships, they want to persue both romance and sex, so theyll just use straight to make it easier.

sexuality labels are used different from person to person, some use it to describe action, others use it to describe attraction, or a mix, or otherwise, or even use it just as a "close enough" to get whatever they want about themselves across to others simply.

i know "straight man who has sex with a man" and "straight woman who has sex with a woman" may initially come across as contradictory, or that theyre bi or gay in denial, but identities and their applications/uses are more complex than just a few set labels.

and i think we should trust what a stranger decides to identify themselves as, they know themselves better than others would. you can talk it over with them if you suspect they truly ARE in denial, but if they dont want to or still end up saying theyre straight, just accept it and move on.

and of course, this also applies to gay men who have sex with a woman or lesbians who have sex with a man. its not just "internalized biphobia" as the answer every time, and saying that its always that is very assumptive of people you dont even know.

other peoples lives and experiences can always be different than youd expect, and may even not make sense to you, but its THEIR life and identity to define. you can give them advice, but you cant force it on them, and certainly cant say what their identity TRULY is. only the person themselves can have a say in that.

[snaxle]

just saw someone say the reason bi lesbians are problematic is because they're inclusive of radfems, and that bi lesbians spew terf rhetoric. i dont know what kinda secret alternate universe you're living in where terfs are supportive of mspec identities but im begging you to turn on your brain cells for longer than 5 seconds at a time and then go outside instead of wallowing in queer twitter discourse made by 15 year olds 10 hours every day you fucking idiots.

terfs dont fucking like bi lesbians. terfs would rather watch us either kill ourselves than ever support our identities.

"i hate mspec lesbians because they tell people who hate men that they're sharing terf beliefs, which is exactly what terfs want!!" have you literally never seen a terf's account before in your life? they fucking hate men and want everyone in the world to know that every single man in the world no matter how old they are that they're gross ugly creatures who all hate women and want nothing more than to prey on the downfall of all women. yea, even those 6 and 12 year old boys that live next door to you. so yea, while you're posting your quirky little "i hate all men they're disgusting 🙄" posts every three days for your 400 twitter followers, you're 100% spewing terf rhetoric!! no that doesnt mean you're a fucking terf but you're sharing into their beliefs and spreading their agenda every time you do this shit which is what they want!!!!

"the term lesbian is already inclusive of trans and nonbinary people, so using the term bi/mspec lesbian is problematic because you dont think trans people can be lesbians!" look me in the eyes. do you genuinely, honest to god think that terfs care about that. do you genuinely think terfs are okay with trans people calling themselves a lesbian. terfs dont fucking care, they still want you to either detransition and realize how "evil" being trans is and follow in their beliefs, or they want you dead. a nonbinary trans man who uses he/him pronouns calling himself a bi lesbian is literally the least of your fucking worries.

i am trans and bigender. even if i just called myself solely a lesbian without the extra labels, terfs still wont fucking accept me because i am not a pure innocent 100% woman. they will not accept me even when i tell them i feel more like a woman most days than i do a man because i am not their definition of what a woman should be. "it doesnt matter what terfs say, lesbian is still inclusive of trans people!" no, it's only inclusive of trans people that you deem are good and women enough to use the label.

people love going around talking about how they're so so supportive of any and all identities and then immediately turn around and be like "hmmm but not Yours." i could be the most perfect woman in the world, but the second i so much as mention i think a man looks attractive, then i am not being a lesbian the Right way.

so who the fuck cares anymore. who cares if i use the term bisexual lesbian to identify myself? im already doing it all wrong supposedly, so who cares if im more of a problem than i already am? the queer people im supposed to share a community with would rather side on the side of terfs because im not being a lesbian in the supposedly Correct way, and no matter what i say to try defending myself I'll never be seen as a true and proper lesbian because random strangers on the internet i will never meet ever in my life has already dictated that I'm not good enough. that my existence is problematic and harmful to everyone else, completely ignorant of the fact that they're unwillingly sharing in the beliefs of transphobes, homophobes and conservatives who would like nothing more than to wipe us all out instead of standing together as a community.

but you know, putting bi lesbians on your dni or whatever is more important.

[p0rcelaindolllyy]

Maybe you don’t feel it’s hateful, but say someone who IS nonbinary sees this kind of thing being said. What if you *have* nb followers? You’ve essentially stated that they aren’t real people, and whether or not there’s more deep-rooted feelings behind what you originally said (which I don’t know obv), being told you’re not allowed to or you can’t be x y or z is hurtful. Hopefully you can accept this and learn from it, but the way people identify themselves is up to them y’know? We don’t have to like it, or even understand it, just be respectful of their choices and let them exist in peace

i dont say they aren't people tf😭 i just say that they are not nonbinary because that doesn't exist its a silly trend for people that have an identity crisis or want attention. sorry i dont wanna offend anyone but they call themselves "trans"!! excuse me?? trans literally means TRANSITION , what are they transitioning to if they don't identify as a man or woman? i just feel sorry for real transpeople which had so many proplems and a hard time to get taken serious the last years and now people associate them with those weird genderfluid , nonbinary , agender people. trans is a diagnosis that comes with genderdisphoria where u cant accept ur genitals and secondary sexual characteristics. if u can accept that and just want to be called "they/them, then u just want attention. periodt

people need to learn that making up new genders for every personality traid literally confirms old genderroles. U can be a nontypical boy and do ur make up and stuff and still be a BOY. that doesn't need a new name or new pronouns.

[skadream]

i was gonna delete this and move on but im bored so i'll take this seriously even tho it will somehow prove a point for the phobes

i think this chris fleming video sums up my thoughts on this question perfectly

i saw a tiktok from a trans man that nearly made me cry about how he didn't give a shit when transphobes say "you will always be a woman" but it hurt if someone were to say "you will always be a girl" because for him there is some truth to that statement. neither i nor this random dude online speak for all trans men, but for me this resonated a lot. i do not connect to womanhood at all, i enjoy many things that are perceived as feminine but to me those are things i enjoy as a man. however, girlhood and being a girl is something i do connect to a lot. maybe it's nostalgia or just the specifics of what many people who were assigned female have to go through in childhood? the specifics of my intersection of identities outside of genders? idk but it's not to do with liking or doing feminine things or being feminine.

i went to an all-girls school, i have three older sisters, i've kinda been surrounded by women my whole life and the number of men that i interact irl with that isnt family (thru blood or marriage or even longtime family friend) is very very small. and none of that makes me a girl but obviously that impacted my life greatly! like when i was questioning whether or not im trans i like, basically terfed myself into thinking i CANT be trans because i can be a woman and not shave or whatever, and i need to embrace my body as a woman's body etc and i did that! im still all about body positivity for women! but i just. never was one. it never worked. and i genuinely thought i must be a massive misogynist because i cant see myself embracing being a woman. (btw this was all self-targeted, i never felt this way about other trans men prob bc i just see them as. men.)

i felt like if i were to transition i would be doing a disservice to the me who was a little girl that had all these hopes for my future. i thought i could be nonbinary and genderfluid in my online life and be okay with being perceived as a gnc woman irl because thats what a feminist would do right. i had accepted more fluid labels long before ever considering myself a man, and i do still consider myself to be nb and genderfluid! but the first time someone assumed i was a man, something just clicked in my head. like oh. oh yeah this makes sense this is what i was missing. i dont feel so empty anymore, and not saying genderfluid/nonbinary people are empty but rather i felt empty so i identified with labels that could be nonspecific. now my fluidity is something i embrace not as emptiness but wholeness. like all these terms individually gets you some of the way there, and even all these terms together dont necessarily paint the full picture, but i've conveyed the idea to you well enough.

anyway i didnt answer the question LMAO so am i a girl? no not right now. hope this helps

[apas-95]

i know it makes you feel good to take cheap potshots at me by misinterpreting what i said, but obviously “trans woman” as a category has to mean *something*, the point isn’t to say “cis people can be trans” which is false by definition, the point is that that’s about as far as you can get in terms of defining transness (i.e. not cis) until being forced to either

A) leave it at “to be trans is to identify as trans” which is exactly what ur seemingly railing against

B) “to be trans is to be identified as trans” which immediately raises the question of who and where, are transmascs that get clocked as transwomen actually transwomen? are cis gays that get clocked as trans actually trans even if they dont identify that way

or

C) “to be trans is to have xyz characteristics” which raises the question of who defines said characteristics, is there a consistent social definition, etc that ultimately gets tangled up with B

with B and C you open yourself up to really unfavorable positions (e.g., the whole concept of truscum/transmedicalism hinges on C, to be trans is to have dysphoria and/or medically transition.)

I'm not rallying for or against any of these positions, because they are positions on an issue unrelated to what I'm arguing - that the definition of being trans is to have a specific social relationship towards the axis of transphobia. How exactly one comes to have that position is immaterial to that.

Really, the position being stated is just the direct logical corrolary to 'all trans people experience transphobia', a generally accepted and uncontroversial statement. If all trans people by definition experience transphobia (and all cis people do not), then, re-stating, being trans is a group defined by experiencing transphobia. The thing that makes someone experience transphobia is unrelated to this issue. It does not matter, to this definition, what the mechanism by which people do or do not experience transphobia is. I am making zero statement on what makes people trans, no prescription of how any individual trans person must feel or understand their own transness, only a description of what transness is, for those that possess it. Regardless of any individual conceptions towards their own trans existence, it is social fact that being trans is the state of experiencing transphobia (in whatever form that may come), because without transphobia, without the existence of gender assignment at birth, being trans ceases to be a meaningful concept - the exact same reason we understand that labelling historic persons as 'gay' or 'transgender' in contexts where those socio-historically-specific concepts can be applied. Should society move past gender assignment at birth, 'being trans' as a meaningful social characteristic would cease to exist, and though people could still identify with the historic concept, they would not meaningfully be trans people in the social sense as it applies in our, current, society.

Personally, my position on how people come to be trans, which I again must say, is unrelated to the discussion at hand, is functionally, yes, that 'identifiying as being trans makes you experience transphobia', which is to say closeted trans people still suffer from transphobia, that passing trans people still suffer from transphobia, etc. In more direct relation to the point actually being argued, is that 'misdirected' oppression categorically does not exist - that regardless of the specific form any instance of oppression takes, regardless of what the person enacting that oppression personally believes, it only exists as a certain type of oppression in as much as it is harmful towards a given group - someone yelling transmisognyistic insults at a transmasc person is not enacting transmisogyny against the transmasc person, they are enacting transphobia against them; while the people being harmed by the specifically-transmisogynistic element of these insults are trans women, the effect of verbally assaulting a transgender person is transphobic oppression, regardless of any opinion the person assaulting them had on the matter.

These are, again, positions independent of what actually makes any individual come to be a member of a given group. They are a separate explanation of what being in that group means. They are positions about social groups, not about individuals.

[polyamorouspunk]

sleepover friday thing and im sorry if i've already sent you an ask about this, i have the worst memory in the world at the best of times. with that out of the way... how do i cope with my orientation doing a 180? my whole life, starting from when i was about 10, ive identified as a lesbian. i exclusively dated girls (or people who identified as girls at the time anyway) and non-binary people. i was only attracted to girls and non-binary people. when i thought about being married in the future, it was always to a woman or non-binary person.

then i met my soulmate and he was a man. i dont use the term lightly either -- im talking about love at first meeting, spending time together as often as possible, sharing secrets, the whole thing. i plan on getting a tattoo dedicated to him. i still called myself a lesbian, just with one exception, because he was the only man i ever loved. and then he went dormant and hasnt come back (hence the tattoo).

then i started noticing i sometimes got crushes on men but not very often. now it's a couple years later and it struck me the other day that i don't think i'm sexually attracted to women anymore. just men and non-binary people. and it really threw me for a loop. ive been a lesbian my whole life but now im not? i'm almost exclusively (sexually) xlm now. which is certainly hard to deal with since i'm dating someone who is woman-aligned.

this is really long im so sorry i didnt mean to ramble so much akskfkf but do you have any words of advice for someone whose identity flipped on its head and feels lost now

I doubt that I’m going to say anything revolutionary here, so I’m just going to talk.

Things change for everyone. Different things change for different people. I don’t want to discount the experiences of certain people like men who are attracted to cis women exclusively, women who are attracted to cis men specifically, men who are only attracted to men, women who only attracted to women, etc. When I say stuff like “sexuality is fluid” it’s in the same way you say “gender is fluid” knowing that for some people it 100% isn’t, but it CAN be.

Some people have a very hard time accepting that sexuality can be fluid. It’s been pointed out before that some people are all for playing around with your gender and calling yourself a woman as a cis man in drag or calling yourself a liquid because your gender is so fluid or going “none of the above” in those gender questions or any amount of things like that. But as soon as someone implies that sometimes you can be a lesbian and sometimes you can be a gay man and those things can coincide or change certain people get really up in arms.

Complicated sexualities and gender have been around longer than any of us, and certainly around longer than tumblr and the internet. Perhaps my own favorite example is talking about how bisexuals and lesbians used to fall under the same or at least a more similar label in Stone Butch Blues. Before the phenomenon of lesbian separatists.

Bisexual lesbians and pansexual gays and all those kinds of things, while perhaps POPULARIZED by social media, existed long before that. Why is the idea that trans people existed before tumblr not a novel idea but the fact that perhaps wlw were all lumped under the phrase “lesbian” because there were women with more complicated sexualities like might fit under the label “bi lesbian” today wild and unacceptable to some people?

The idea that you can call yourself a lesbian exclusively but have some exceptions or call yourself gay exclusively but have an exception or hell even call yourself straight but have an exception is not a new thing. I, personally, love straight cisgender male content creators who say shit like “I’m not gay but I would make out with that man”. Cracks me the fuck up. I want more of that shit. But suddenly if a lesbian says “I’m not straight but I would make out with that man” it’s like woah woah woah are you sure you’re REALLY a lesbian?

Plenty of people who are straight/gay/lesbian fully accept that you can ID as one of those things and still use that label if you have on exception or even a few. Some do not, and will say if your thoughts even stray from your assigned sex of attraction then you are not allowed to use that label.

There will people who will say you can’t call yourself a lesbian if you’ve had sex with a man before even if you didn’t enjoy it. Gold star lesbian mentality.

The idea of sexuality being fluid is sadly a controversial one, as is every facet of being “in the community”. But for many people it is.

I see it a lot like coming to terms that you are not in fact cisgender. You go your whole life believing, truly believing, that you are a cis girl perhaps, until suddenly one day you realize you are NOT. Maybe there weren’t “signs” that you were trans along the way. Maybe one day it just hit you like a ton of bricks. What do you do? How do you cope?

Well. How do you cope with any other thing that hits you like a ton of bricks? How do you cope with someone you thought loved you deciding to dump you and never speak to you again in a day? How do you cope with being fired from a job you felt so secure in and planned on being in for at least another decade? How do you cope with the unexpected death of a loved one?

Over time. You try not to stress it. You try and move through your days by keeping it in the back of your mind until time has dulled that immediate pain enough for you to reconsider. The pain isn’t going to go away. But it can become manageable. You cannot deal with things if you are screaming and crying and hyperventilating and throwing things. You need to wait until you’re not doing any of those things in order to deal with the issue at hand, for a vivid and extreme example.

What does it mean to you to be xlm? I call myself a bi lesbian. On this blog I call myself trans masc and mlm. On my main I’m a [girl] and a bi lesbian. To me that means I, Savanna, personally will have sex with people who have a vagina, as someone who also has a vagina. Be they trans men, trans women, cis women, nonbinary/other. I do not like the idea of having sex with an actual flesh and blood and cummy dick, HOWEVER I’m open enough to say “I haven’t really been in a position in my life right now where someone has wanted to jam their dick inside of me, so I haven’t really had to worry about that. If it comes to that point, I can’t say for sure that I’m going to be like ‘ew no a dick’ even though I do not like dicks. Depending on the person and the situation I might be willing to make an exception.” And hey. There are people I might be with who have a vagina that I might just be like hey you know what? I don’t want to have sex. For whatever reason.

Your partner is woman-aligned, so I’m sure in your mind that’s not something you’re aesthetically attracted to right now. But sexually might you be? Do you think you’re having another exception to your sexuality like you did before?

Try your best not to worry about it and try to come to any conclusions until you’ve given it some time. I’m not sure how long it’s been since you came to this realization, maybe it’s been a few days, maybe it’s been a few weeks. But take the time you need to not make an emotional response to it in regards to your current relationship. Do what you’re doing and talk to other people about it. When you’re ready, you should talk to your partner about it. Perhaps there’s accommodations and arrangements that can be made. I’ve said before even though I’m transmasc here like if a cishet guy wanted to date me only as his gf I would be willing to compromise on my gender expression for that most likely. My gender isn’t a huge deal to me. Things like that.

Take it slow and take your time. Don’t make any rash decisions. Talk it out. Don’t worry about feeling like you “made a mistake” or are “living a lie”. We wouldn’t tell someone who came out as trans things like that, so much as gender changes and/or is fluid so is sexuality.

[queer-polls]

when i first started trying to understand it, i learned i had to accept that i dont need to understand something to support someone.

you dont understand or relate to men who use the term lesbian, but you can still support them and not exclude them.

the same way that an allocishet person doesnt understand or relate to aspecs/trans/gay people, but they can still accept them and not exclude them.

you can think that certain people dont fit with certain labels, without invalidating them. i have a particular interest in sexuality and gender, and im also autistic and take things literally. so when i see people who choose not to use a label, or choose to go with "simpler" labels when theres ones that fit more, then of course that bothers me a little because im a particular person. but, the difference is i still let them know they are valid, that they can use any kind of labels they identify with, and that belong. even though i know my attraction to my girlfriend feels lesbian, i still have a hard time accepting that a lesbian doesnt have to be a binary woman myself.

i did want to also clarify my message wasnt with intent to argue or fight or anything, just to bring up the points that made me understand it a little better.

i also want to comment on what you said about how if a trans man calls themself a lesbian, isnt that misgendering them? personally, no. if a trans man did consider that misgendering.. they wouldnt use that term. but for the ones who do use it, i say that its similar to pronouns. someone can use any pronouns they want, but that doesnt have anything to do with their gender. (someone people do feel validated by their pronouns "matching" their gender, but in no way is it a "requirement")

another thing, the term you were looking for when you said "full men" is "binary men" (/nm, just letting you know)

-green

Thanks, this makes more sense looking at it this way and I get that you didn't want to start a fight, neither did I (also thanks for the term, English isn't my first language and soemtimes, I don't know the words for certain things)

[elfyprincess]

Hi! dont post this ask pls but i wanted 2 say that even though i strongly disagree with terfs on almost everything and came here with extreme predudice against u, you seem like a rlly nice person apart from the arophobia.

have a nice day and i hope u stop being an exclusionist in ur radicalness and feminism :3

Hi ! I used to be extremely supportive of gender ideology, but I became disillusioned with the trans community’s constant disrespect of women.

A woman is an adult human female. A transwoman is a male with gender dysphoria who socially and medically transitions in order to alleviate said dysphoria. If there was no difference between the two, there would be no need for the prefix “trans.”

My main criticisms of gender ideology are as follows:

1) Women deserve equal opportunities in sports. Trans identified males have no right to compete against women. Transwomen have an unfair physical advantage in sports due to their sex. They should not be stealing awards and opportunities from women.

2) Women deserve access to female-only spaces. Especially vulnerable women, like incarcerated women & women seeking help from rape crisis centers. Incarcerated women should not be forced to shower with convicted male rapists.

3) Trans identified males constantly degrade women & expect us to respect them. They say they are better than us because they have “designer coochies” and choose to conform to misogynistic female stereotypes. Women are expected to submit & accept this humiliation. If we speak out against this misogyny we are silenced & labeled transphobic. I’m tired of it. I will no longer lie to spare a man’s feelings. A woman is an adult human female. A man is an adult human male. No amount of hormones or surgery will ever turn a man into a woman.

I do not hate any individual who chooses to transition in order to alleviate gender dysphoria as long as they respect women, biology, and scientific fact. I believe legal adults should have the right to transition if they so choose. I do not believe transitioning should give you unfettered access to the opposite sex’s intimate spaces.

I do not hate “aromantics.” I believe sex should be an act of intimacy between two people who love and trust each other. I do not believe you should be having sex with someone you are not romantically interested in. I believe this is the best way to cultivate a healthy culture surrounding sex.

I hope you have a nice day as well. And I hope you can take the time to try and see my perspective on things. 🩵

[discyours]

I know some girls who don’t identify as she/her and they want to be referred to as they/them or he/him and it just leaves me so baffled now, having a lot of conflicting feelings, old insecurities raising their head. I never felt like a woman either i just know i am one and had to fight and learn to accept things. But i just feel so weird around what’s happening now, if i dont choose a pronoun it means i agree/identify as a woman and i signal something in how i want to be treated/seen? What makes someone a she/her and what makes someone they or he? What is it based on according to gender people? Sometimes i just want to ask each person who asks me to use certain pronouns for them, why? What makes you more of a he him or they them while i am a she her when we are both females? I see it growing on the left on pair with the far right clapping back and it makes me feel so alone in the world as it is and is becoming now.

It's really pretty simple, you had to fight to accept that you're a woman and within their belief system discomfort with/disconnection from womanhood is not something to work through (and in fact, attempting to do so is a disservice to your Real Self). To them, it's a sign of an innate unchangeable difference in gender identity which has to be honoured.

The few times I've been asked my pronouns since detransitioning I've struggled with it too (and I look quite unambiguously feminine now, so I don't even have the extra sting that GNC women get of having people approach them with a "hey, I assume someone like you can't be a woman but I'd like you to confirm"). I've gotten past 90% of my discomfort of being called "she", but I know giving that as my preferred pronoun means something else to the people who are asking. To them it implies a much stronger connection to womanhood than just "I exist in a female body and have stopped fighting that fact". It feels like I'm being asked to proclaim that I choose this, I like this, this feels Right to me. And as someone who spent years being genuinely suicidal due to gender dysphoria that absolutely stings. I try to remind myself that their difference of perspective does not actually affect me. Moving past the need for my gender identity to be "validated" goes both ways. But if you would like to express your discomfort with being pressured to choose with which pronouns you want to be referred to, I've found that explaining it from a trans perspective can help (because the people who are asking likely care a lot about the trans perspective). Ie, "if you ask a closeted trans woman her pronouns and pressure her after she's said she's not comfortable with that (possibly under the assumption that she's a right wing man who's pushing back on "wokeness"), you're now either pressuring her to come out before she's ready or pressuring a closeted trans woman to proclaim that he/him is her absolute favourite way of being addressed."

I've had this conversation a few times and it's repeatedly led to people changing their entire perspective on the helpfulness of enforcing the "what are your pronouns" conversation.

[mimikyuno]

not to be a stick in the mud but isn't people's identity the most important thing? if someone says they identify as something, than they identify as that and they know better than we do? if he says he is a boy... i've done all that, but the other way around as a very masculine girl, got harassed on the street and wore dresses at home bc my parent's scared me more than the world. then i grew up and a bunch of my friends started asking me when i was going to transition and started using they/them or he/him pronouns to refers to me bc i just needed to crack, but i've always just been gnc, but it took them awhile to stop. is every gnc person actually gender conforming trans people waiting to come out? idk about that

this message has a lot to address imo so. see under the cut

first things first. makoto used the term “otokonoko”, a word that yes can mean boy (男の子, with 子 = ko as in child), but in this context it's 男の娘 (娘 = ko as in daughter). this term has a heavy and long history, which i recommend reading about. otokonoko can and is often used to discuss crossdressing amab people, but it has also been used to describe pre-transition trans girls or just trans girls in the closet or even out trans girls (see luka from steins;gate, god that shit pisses me off so much). let's just say it's a term loaded with history and lacking in an actual definition, as far as i know. anime is full of “otokonoko’s” who are just trans girls trying to survive in a transphobic society that heavily associates sex and gender. once you start seeing the pattern of trans anime girls being denied their identity as women by being third gendered as an otokonoko it’s impossible to miss, and it becomes clear that “crossdressings boys” in anime are often just a more socially acceptable way to portray trans women. historically, trans women have been third gendered as a way to deny them their identity as women, and this third gendering can become internalized. that does not mean they are not trans women. next.

as someone who grew up as a tomboy, being a masculine presenting “girl” is much much different than being a feminine presenting “boy”. wearing “boy’s clothes” at school as a “girl” is not nearly as dangerous as wearing skirts as a “boy” (in most cases and places). and i say this as someone who got bullied as a gnc amab person might have been, as in, i was targeted by boys (and often got in violent physical altercations) and was called the f and t slur my whole childhood despite not being amab. imo you and i cannot really compare our situation to makoto’s, as neither of us is amab from my understanding.

i also want to address something you mentioned that bothers me, mostly based on the wording.

is every gnc person actually gender conforming trans people waiting to come out?

i really don't like how this is worded, as to me it almost implies that we live in a world wherein being a "gender conforming" trans person is more acceptable that being gnc. like im sorry your friends made u uncomfortable by implying you're an egg and im glad you got it sorted out but uhm. you understand your experience is not the norm, unless you have a queer social circle? like let's not be too chronically online here. we live in an insanely transphobic society... another reason why i dont like this sentence is that i have recently seen a lot of discourse (ofc mostly aimed at trans women bc they're the default hate target) about how being non binary / gnc is more "progressive" and "radical" than being a binary trans woman, because they fit in the gender binary, which we want dismantled. im not even gonna get into how braindead this whole conversation is, i suggest you follow some transfems (who have not been nuked lol) and learn more about this from them. if you did not mean this sentence this way i apologize, but i wanted to mention why i disliked the wording.

back to makoto. based on episode 1 alone, if we look at other anime and manga with otokonoko's and the history of the term, and we see how withdrawn and socially shunned makoto is, how her identity is womanhood and manhood is her mask, it becomes clear that she's a pre-transition trans girl. i did not read the manga but i know for a fact makoto also later displays signs of gender dysphoria in relation to puberty. i also know that in the latter part of the story, the author fumbles the bag, so to speak, tho i am not sure how precisely, as im avoiding spoilers. this is when it's time to don our media comprehension glasses on. let me make a comparison with autistic representation in media. authors often write autistic characters and when asked about it, they deny it. or later in the story, a character loses their autistic traits with no explanation. in these situations, is the character autistic? the way i see it, my answer would be "yes, despite authorial ignorance". in this sense, yes, i do think makoto was meant to be a trans girl, written by an author who showed shortcomings due to ignorance and poor research. but we are not talking about late manga chapters, but about episode 1. and based on it, makoto is clearly a trans girl, as all contextual clues lead to that conclusion.

when i mention "media literacy" as an issue, i am using this show as an example, as this is a trend i have seen a lot. part of media literacy is also integrating what we know of the social, cultural and political environment in which an author writes a story. in this specific case, understanding the social position and history of trans women in japanese society and japanese media is key to understanding makoto's identity beyond authorial intent and vocabulary. imo.

tl;dr: to answer your questions. is every gnc person a binary trans person? no. is makoto a trans girl? also yes, based on episode 1 alone. based on the history of the term otokonoko (男の娘), past representation of trans womanood and gender non conformity in japanese media, and on contextual clues in the story, makoto fits the bill as a closeted trans girl. are you not trans just because you have not realised it yet?

[heirscrchd]

serious ask:

do you think azula met a/a few trans women during her time post atla?? what would her thoughts be??

(disclaimer: anon is trans)

Okay I'm going to be forward here, I don't know a lot about the subject of being Trans.

Identity for me is extremely difficult and while I could be considered under the umbrella of trans (I identify as sorta-NB, demi-girl? IDK where this falls) and sexuality also is extremely difficult for me to get into because of the complexities of it and how simple labels can be when we boil it down.

I don't know how to answer a lot of these difficult questions and I'll fully admit my ignorance and faults I've made.

I'm putting this under a cut so I don't put a giant post on the dash for people who don't want to get involved in it. Please let me know if you need this tagged

When I first made this blog I did see Azula more as a female-leaning bisexual with not a disinterest in men but more a lack of appeal towards them but wouldn't be entirely repulsed. After more speculation brought on by the mutuals I made here, I thought I might as well call her a lesbian and be flat out with it, but as me, personally, tends to be unsure how the term lesbian is seen in trans community for how Terfs like using it to discriminate against trans woman as they see lesbian as "females loving females"

I used the term lesbian and sapphic interchangeably in an attempt to be more inclusive to trans woman because there is a distinct difference between the complexities of sexuality with labels, social inclusivity, and how one personally might have a genital preference for certain sexes.

I have been informed and take responsibility that phrasing things this way does not help, or can do harm to lesbians and others by making it feel like it's a "bad" word so to speak. I accept that and you are in your full right to criticize me for it. I will do my best to keep this in mind going forward and you always are welcome to call me out for it in the future.

As to say, I'm not good and knowing how to address all this of a fictional character, let alone my own life! I call myself lesbian but I don't even know if that's true because sexuality is fluid the more we understand ourselves. My ow nsexuality has been difficult to understand with the deconstruction of what preferences are okay, what do i prefer, how my trauma impacts me being unabel to handle certai nthings, ive constantly been put into question of my label as lesbian because what if it is just my CSA trauma that stopped me from feeling safe with certain things that remind me of it, but i dont know how to fix it if it can be and i. i dont know

but its not something everyone will understand (sexuality and identity being flexible) because it can come off as "you can forcibly change someone's sexuality" which no. No I'm not saying that, but we can discover more about ourselves and change labels when we better understand ourselves and our likes and wants. (my gf for example identified as lesbian when we first met but under more analysis of herself she feels more comfortable being called pan now)

I don't genuinely know how to project all these complex thoughts onto a fictional character who in the canon is only like 14, and in the comics is 17, and genuinely am trying not to think about what the genital preference of a minor would be when they grow up because it lowkey makes me feel kinda gross.

When it comes to Azula, I don't think she personally holds any ill perspectives on trans women or trans men.

Azula holds a respect for power, honor, and a strong will. Whether the woman she speaks to or recuits is anywhere on the woman or non binary feminine leaning line or nb line in general I don't think she would discriminate against them.

I don't think Azula is a Terf, if that is what you're asking. Azula doesn't discriminate on that

she's very much someone who holds ill will towards people who personally harm her or slight her. Even the Earth kingdom and it's people she didn't hold an animosity for like she did Zuko, during the final Agni Kai, or even Mai and Ty Lee who she showed much more hatred towards for betraying her.

Trans people existing doesn't hurt Azula. Trans people living their lives, doesn't personally insult her.

Azula is fine with and would accept trans women and would accept them all the same as women or whatever they want to identify as.

*Edit, forgot to really answer the question: She probably had met at least a few trans individuals while traveling and wouldnt have any issue with them

** This also comes from Azula who was 110% fine with being called "Fire Lord" - Lord being what we see as a more masculine term than Fire Lady, so she 100% would be accepting of trans and NB individuals since she herself is willing to take on a masculine/male/whatever title despite identifying as a girl.

[beeben]

So I was going through some Krieg fics on AO3 and found your story "Monstrous"... Fuck that hit way too close to home. It was so amazingly written, I can sympathize bc I suffer with self loathing in my worse times, some of it was like seeing my own thoughts written out in front of me. I'm 1000% going to be reading Paging Doctor Samuels once I get the time to, I can tell its something you've had a passion for based on how much content you have going for it. Keep up the amazing writing 💙

AUUUUUGHHH THANK YOUUU monstrous is honestly one of my favorite things ive ever written like i poured my GUTS into that thing brother. I try so hard to capture him right. Hes always been a challenge for me because of a few reasons, i try to keep his thought patterns as realistic as i can with also acknowledging that hes like. Not normal yknow??? I don't like going oh psycho krieg sane krieg babbling back and forth i dont think real people work like that (even in someone with DID. I don't think he does have DID i just think he has a compartmentalized personality and schizo-affective disorder.) I don't like saying a specific disorder because i think that ties him too much to real life and it devalues people who have like schizophrenia or bipolar or other real cluster b personality disorders.. i dont think its right to add a real label to a character they specifically made to be an ahhh crazy psycho dude...... THAT BEING SAID! i think he (especially in the dlc) is one of the more respectful renditions of a severe mental illness that ive seen and i do want to keep him in that vein of believability.

Him saying "my other self" is referring to what everyone thinks is psycho krieg, but to me when I look at that, its not different from him. He says "my other self" to distance himself from things he finds revolting/stuff hed "never do". I think his body image is one of the leading things that effect this and thats kinda why i wrote this. He looks in the mirror and he doesnt see himself. He sees a thing that someone else made and attached his soul to. a lot of what i focus on with him is the acceptance stage in grief, i think thats the hardest part and people definitely back track a lot.

Hes grieving his past self. Its a big issue for him. He misses something he doesn't remember, and thinking of it for too long scares him. He feels stuck. He feels stupid. He feels like hes lost.

Mayas kinda like an anchor for him. Not in a manic pixie dream girl type of way- i dont think either of them see her as that- but like a support system. Everyone benefits from someone who can ground you during a crisis and i don't necessarily think it has to be a romantic partner but in this case it is, cus she knows him well enough and she sees and can identify the signs of him when hes going through it.

Krieg to me is a very private person. He puts on a persona to people for defense. The fact that Maya can see right through it makes him WILDLY uncomfortable. Cus he's always been taught that in order to be a good partner for someone (a man with a woman specifically) you cant act dangerous or threatening at all to them or else its predatory and youre seen like an abuser. He thinks his whole being is dangerous. Its not really that he struggles with masculinity, thats not a problem for him really its more like hes been told that he SPECIFICALLY is undesirable, he specifically is overly violent, hes too big, hes too unhinged to be in a healthy relationship with a woman. (This goes back further than the experimentation i feel like his mother specifically had something to do with his self image + why he became a mercenary in the first place.)

Maya doesn't care about that. Shes had like . 0000000001% of the romantic/sexual experience that he's had she does NOT know what a typical relationship looks like whatsoever. She doesnt even call him her boyfriend she doesn't define relationships like that at all. They're partners thats what she sees. Theyre equals to eachother. Mayas just as if not more fucked in the head as he is, and twice as dangerous.

She'll support him through anything he needs and she loves him for his uniqueness and his roughness and his WHOLE personality not just what he thinks is likeable about him. His thought process getting with her started as " she can see that deep down im not a monster" to "shed still be there even if i was a monster and still feel the same way" its subtle but its emotionally wrecking to him because that means she's really not there to coddle him. Its not tough love like you and i would say necessarily but he has this image in his head that if he found true love hed go "back to normal" and if he doesn't then hes not trying hard enough. He's gotta accept he'll never be normal and that's completely fine.

With that though comes loneliness. Even if he accepts hes different its still very isolating. It doesn't have to be though, especially in borderlands.

Krieg is still human. Thats probably the most important thing to me. He looks a little funny but his heart beats red blood and his head is full of deep philosophy and love and emotions that only people can experience.

Sentience is a blessing and i feel like he needs to learn that that blessing includes him :) thanks for reading.

[jimkirksgirl]

snw uhura is ugly, masculine and fat

uhura-hermoine was right. it was not unkind to say ceelia gooding uhura is ugly and fat because she is. they should never have cast as uhura.

maybe we should ask ourselves why no one cares about snw uhura. you know something has gone wrong with star trek when chapel is now far more popular than uhura? and why is that? because uhura is miscast and a downgrade from Nichols.

we need to stop pretending that been cute does not sell. tos uhura was very popular because she was very pretty.

people like you are part of the problem because you know many of us are right. if more people speak more on how ugly snw uhura is, maybe they will recast her.

and dont feel bad for ceelia, she is a narcissist and has zero respect for the character. ceelia wants to hijack uhura and insert herself in the role. that is not the role of an actor. they are hired to play a character not themselves.

you are making it worse by pretending i am not right. why should we be fair or be kind with words when the writers of the show and the actress on purpose chose to make uhura ugly, non binary and masculine looking to suit their awful agenda.

But it is unkind and uncharitable to call someone “fat,” masculine,” and “ugly.” Just because you personally or others personally don’t like that someone, such as Celia, was cast in a role for a show/movie doesn’t justify being hurtful and malicious towards them. There is never a good enough reason to be unkind to someone. Bullying someone for any purpose is uncalled for and never acceptable. And you should know by now that all of your bitching and complaining isn’t going to change Celia’s casting. So this endless shouting into the void about how unhappy you are with her performance and casting choice is pointless.

May I also remind you that there has only been one season of SNW so don’t you think that maybe the writers just haven’t gotten to the point in their story where this version of Uhura gets to shine in the way Chapel does? Season two hasn’t even been released yet so there is a possibility that she may get her moment like Chapel has in season one.

I fail to see how the writers and Paramount are pushing an agenda in this particular area. Celia plays Uhura as she is in TOS/AOS: a woman who identifies as a woman. I don’t recall Celia insisting that this version of Uhura identify as non-binary as she does personally. You’re really reaching if you think that simply because Celia doesn’t look like Jess Bush in the sense that she isn’t tall, thin, and has longer hair that the writers/Paramount are trying to push any kind of agenda. Now, I can’t tell you why they chose Celia for this role or why they have written her the way they have, but again, there has only been one season of this show thus far. Uhura could absolutely have her moment in season two and beyond. Especially if this version of Trek takes place in the prime timeline then Uhura has plenty of time to blossom into the version of her that we see in TOS.

On a final note, I highly doubt that Nichols would condone any sort of bullying of a fellow black woman in any capacity if she were still alive today.

[ninjamelissajulien]

i want to get this off my chest

ive never felt connected to gender to be honest. i have the body of a woman, and sometimes i like it, but other times i wish i was just... vague. like, i dont see myself as a man, but i don’t quite feel connected to the set definition of a woman. ive always felt that inside im kind of a void, never truly a woman on the inside. ive always hated my name. yes, the one in my username. ive hated it for so many years. i refuse to change my url because im a stubborn bitgh. but, ive yearned for androgyny. I want to be androgynous. i want short hair. I want to be known as Hunter. i like that name. i like it when im called that irl. 

but my parents. i can never tell them.

they already struggle with me identifying as ace lesbian. even though its been 7 years since i came out, i know they still doubt me. i want to tell them so badly. i want them to know that im genderqueer. or nonbinary. something. i dont know. they already dont understand the “they” as a singular pronoun and they’re not too keen on adapting. i dont think i can ever truly tell them. but god do i want to. i want to experiment. i want to know who i am. i want to tell them that i lean towards tarot and wiccan ideology, rather than the catholic ideals i was raised with, yet they cant accept the fact that i never have and never will be catholic. 

yet, im also scared im never going to find love. 

ive never felt a romantic connection to anyone. the few times ive gotten close, nothing was ever reciprocated. im 25 and still havent had my first kiss for christ’s sake. i want to know what a real kiss feels like. i want to have someone i can hold hands with, to shower with gifts and tiktoks that make me think of them, to listen to them discuss what theyre passionate about. i want someone to hold at night. i want someone i can cook for. i want to walk around and say “look at my beautiful, handsome partner”. im so scared of dating apps, or going to bars. ive tried asking people out. it never goes anywhere. somedays, i think im too ugly to ever be loved. who would ever want anyone like me. im a nobody. im always going to be replaceable. ill be forgotten anyways. i always am. ive had so many failed friendships, ive tried to hold on but they always drift away. somedays i wonder why i bother. with anything. 

my name is hunter. im 25 years old, im genderqueer/nonbinary, i am she/they. im lonely, im scared, im forgettable, im replaceable. thats all ill ever be

[euphoricfilter]

“cis asian man”

so by arguing that jungkook can’t be genderfluid or enby, last anon has basically stepped into muddy waters of implying that nonbinary is only a gender that people born female can identify as —or really only exist as

they’ve assigned a binary to where none should apply

like we do know that people can be nonbinary and present masc? right?

now im a black enby and i’ve faced the masculinization of black women which is essentially on the opposite spectrum of the emasculation of asian men.

there is something to be said about the emasculation of asian men but when it actually applies.

we can talk about asian men who are feminized and we can talk about how there are some asian amab enbies who are secure in their masculinity and feel disrespected when people emasculate them.

but that’s not what anon is proposing cuz they want jungkook to be cis in this story.

seeing the nonbinary identity as asian emasculation tells me that anon sees it as feminization instead of neutrality. you’ve essentially let yt supremacy get a hold of you, boo boo🤦🏽‍♀️

i won’t lie and say there isn’t a problem within the nonbinary community where many afab enbies fall into the trap of reaffirming the binary by subconsciously —or even maliciously— making say/doing things that only “women/afab” people can relate to only to label it as nonbinary discourse.

i’ve heard people born male/socialized male feel out of place in enby spaces because the tendency of thinking “afab = nonbinary”. this isnt true and should be shut down immediately.

anon is sounding like a radfem/terf who only accepts female/feminine enby in women’s spaces because amab enbies are still “men”

not all of us look like manic pixie dream girls who like frogs. cuz i promise you when you ask the average conservative or even liberal what a nonbinary person looks like its this very specific stereotype of “short haired white ‘woman’ who likes quirky things and dresses in cuffed mom jeans and a graphic tee with pride pins”

its not to say that these people are any less valid in the nonbinary identity than me but it doesn’t reflect the diversity of our identity gender or race wise.

plus its the fact that anon is okay with reader being nonbinary which i assume means that they think they’ll be reading as someone with a vagina.

and even if they recognize that the “holes” may bot be specified. they will probably delve into their own subconscious bias of imagining nonbinary reader with vagina cuz they already think “afab = nonbinary”

but their lil fantasy falls apart when they “have” to reader about nonbinary jungkook cuz they’ve condition themselves to see him as feminine and there for having a vagina.

(which i dont want this to be too long so i wont get into trans people who decide to transition to present towards a binary and still identify as enby. there are men/transmasc people with vaginas who still identify as enby. but also there are intersex people who have presented as women all their lives and have testicles and identify as nonbinary)

so all imma say is anon is puttin’ on their activism like a lil cosplay. its performative asf.

cuz going off jungkook’s recent photoshoots, he’s presents rather androgynous but still leans into his masculinity.

so fictional jungkook can look like calvin klein jungkook and have any pronouns

jungkook can have he/him, he/they, she/her, she/they and they/them or even neopronouns and still be a masc/androgynous enby

- pronouns doesnt specify gender

- gender doesnt specify presentation

- genitals doesnt specify either pronouns or presentation

example: im a nonbinary person who goes by she/they pronouns but i present very masc most of the time and i have a vagina. i’m secure in both my femininity/masculinity, but i don’t wanna be hypersexualized like society views black women and i also hate being hypermasculinized like how society views black men as brutish and predatory. but at the same time you’re not gonna strip me of the healthy relationship ive cultivated with both binaries. i’ve found my own way to express the binary that reaffirms my blackness and isnt determined by yt supremacist standards.

also very weird to assume our lovely author is black. wtf do we have to do with this? keep black people out your mouth cuz its obvi you’re tryna stir division amongst the black and asian community. go on somewhere.

this anon didnt have the range for this convo and i cant say i covered everything because race/gender is nuanced. its quite literally a infinite which is why intersectionality is important.

ooh im tired😭 this was long

there’s like minimal logic behind their argument, and are maybe talking about a topic they’re not exactly well versed in??

of course i can only say so much, from my own experiences and perspectives but i’m not ignorant, and that feels kinda like what they were trying to get at, that i’m a bad person and i’m dehumanising people and im racist 😭 like ??? idk where that narrative even came from?? it’s just sad to me that someone can invalidate a community of people based of a work of fiction and their weird bigoted views of enby people??

see that’s what i was trying to explain last night, being non binary is such a wide spectrum of things for different people when looking at their gender, or lack thereof. because every nonbinary person isn’t a set gender or way of expressing your gender, or how you feel about gender or you as a person and the way you present yourself. hence why i’d never exclusively label a reader non binary. gender neutral sure, because that then gives the reader freedom within themselves to actually see them within the character without me putting a stereotypical label on a nonbinary individual whose existence is gonna be so very different than the next enby individual.

i’m always very conscious about how i write my readers. because although i don’t necessarily see myself as the reader while i’m writing, there’s always going to be a little bit of myself projected onto the reader and i wouldn’t want to force how i view myself as a person onto everyone else who reads my stuff. hence why i’d never mention skin color or race or (in some cases) gender identity. for me, while writing smut especially, that’s where i find it hard to write a character who might be nonbinary, simply for the fact i don’t want to write an experience that i guess i wouldn’t fully understand the emotions of, hence why i would label the reader afab just so i’m not invalidating anyone’s experiences, i’d hate to do that

i’m really grateful that you took the time out of your day to write this, so that there’s another perspective put on the table, and i think it’s an important conversation to have especially if i’ve got weird people lurking on my blog when i’ve tried to make it very clear this is a safe space for all lgbtq+ friends, because really i love you all a lot and want this to be a nice community for us all. and thank you for articulating a little better what i was trying to get at!! idk why i find it hard to just put into words exactly what i’m thinking LMAO

we could talk forever about the masculinisation of black women and feminisation of asian men, it’s such a big topic to cover. and if the anon has actually idk had taken the time to explain exactly how i was disrespectful or racist without just flinging big words about thinking it was gonna make me second guess myself, then yeah i wouldn’t be so offended. but it’s like if you’re gonna come in my inbox with all these big claims then at least come knowing what you’re talking about?? i was gonna be generous and say they had a surface level understanding of the topic but i honestly think they don’t 🧍‍♀️ and again, i think this is a really important topic to bring up and talk about

there’s a reason i chose he/they pronouns for jungkook. i could have chosen they/them. and i had considered it, but if we’re talking about real life jungkook then especially with recent photos, although he’s very very androgynous, there’s still a comfortability within his masculinity, hence why i chose those pronouns for him for his gender fluid identity

fictional jungkook was very much inspired by the recent photos!! very much cutie fun calvin klein jungkook whose gender is so delicious i get mild envy but in a sorta good way!!

thank you for sharing your own experience too!!

OH YEAH idk why they assumed i was black?? it felt like a leeway for them to be racist and i’m not tolerating that on my page on top of them being stupid and accusing me of stuff i haven’t done 😭 i really don’t talk about myself all that much so i have no idea where that notion came from, i hope you guys just see me as like a lil floating star or something cute, just a little entity that writes for you guys as gifts because i like spoiling you 🏃‍♀️

that’s what i’m saying!! like at least come with some understanding of what you’re accusing me of before you start saying words you clearly don’t understand because you just sound stupid LMAO

again, thank you so so so much for even taking the time out of your day to explain all of this!! you’re literally the sweetest and i love you a lot, and thank you for being comfortable enough to share your own story too and helping me articulate what my lil pea brain has trouble saying without wanting to absolutely cuss that person out 🫂 you deserve a lil smooch after all that, and a fun little snack too so go get one!! MWAH 💞

[transmeds]

I fail to see the issue with “masc nouns” (mealexical language). Such nouns refer to language that is generally used to describe individuals who experience some sort of gender masculinity or consider themselves a male/man, hence the use of the use of the word “masculine” (of or referring to men/males). Everyone knows that men do not have to be masculine, but by the same token, surely you realize that masculine people don’t have to be men and can choose referential language that describes them as anyone else. So, yeah, it does make sense if a person who isn’t “male”, a word that is used to describe a binary gender identity, bodily sex and the gender role of “man” often ambiguously, wouldn’t want to be called male if they weren’t one. Still, they may have other connections to manhood, maleness or masculinity they deem significant enough to use mealexical language, and they deserve to have that respected. Male isn’t a dirty word, but it’s a loaded word for many trans people. Also, some people who are masculine aren’t males. Surely, you, a GNC trans man, can at least appreciate that. After all, you describe yourself as effeminate and can obviously distinguish presentation from identity. What it seems that you are misunderstanding is that they can be intertwined in complex ways that you yourself may not understand, but the individual themself does, which can include a non-male identity, but a legitimate desire to be referred to using mealexical language. I find it strange you can separate presentation from identity, but not pronouns and other similar functions of grammar. Can you maybe explain why you feel that way? How is one okay with you but not the other and why?

see i can separate presentation from identity, but i consider he/him pronouns and words like man, which mean nothing except for male, to inherently be.. male and completely separate from presentation.

you basically asked me "how can you separate something that has nothing to do wifh gender from gender, but can't separate words that have no other purpose except for describing gender and referring to someone in a gendered way?"

its not like i think that people have to exclusively be okay with using the accepted pronouns n words n theres no exceptions, but i am saying the people who genuinely want to be called a man, a boy, a him. words that do nothing except describe being a male, have no reason to call that something masculine when it's not, its male.

i get what you mean by masculine people not having to be men, for sure. but why would someone who isn't male actively wish to use "masculine" nouns and pronouns and actively wish to gender themselves as a man? as a male?

and see, im fine with it in a lot of situations. im fine with people calling me a girl in the way that i want crossdress. im fine with people using she/her on me in the same sense. but i am not a girl and i dont use she/her pronouns. i am fine being Seen as a woman because i just don't care. theyre wrong and they dont change what i am, i am not female and i dont identify as female or with female nouns. i like FEMININE things, feminine words. being pretty, being beautiful. none of those things are inherently female. being a girl, a woman, a ma'am however? those are female. so why call them feminine nouns when theyre not?

if someone is a "non-male" but actively wants to call themselves male (1. at that point they probably are male 2.) it is not an excuse to actively try to degender words meant to males and try to force men into using masculine instead of male. there is no "gender masculinity" there's masculinity and theres gender. separately.