#and then i grew up and realized i can literally just modify my entire life tk doing what feels best for me

[kittydemon9000]

The Beginning of Heatstroke, aka Red's Villain Origin

* crashes down from the ceiling * I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED ONE OF MY 5+ CURRENT WRITING PROJECTS! BEHOLD, A WRITTEN VERSION OF THE 'Red's Villain Origin AU', also known as RVO / Heatstroke AU

To summarize the AU for SPBNR for those that don't now it: 

“Who'd be the biggest conspiracy theorist out of the M!Ninja? The one who drinks 5 hour energy at 3am and spits off the craziest theories and then actually gets it right but nobody gives the theory any merit because the rest of the theories are too crazy?”

The answer: Red / M!Kai

Red: Okay hear me out: Smith is actually an alternative version of one of us sent here from another dimension.

The other M!Ninja: You’re just saying that because Smith’s cool and you want him to be your counterpart

Based on the M!ninja making red cork boards trying to figure out ‘What Is Up With Smith’: Red gets increasingly accurate and nobody will believe him (all pre shogun reveal) and he eventually snaps and takes up a secret villain persona to fight Shogun like 'if they won't believe me I'll do it myself' and it gets awkward when he accidentally does too much damage and catches not only Shogun's attention like planned, but also the rest of the Ninjaforce, and now he has to keep his own identity a secret

So, without further ado, I present... Heatstroke

------------

Red blamed the 5-hour energy coffee blend at 3:00am for this.

It was no surprise that between ‘Operation: What’s Going on with Smith’ & the sudden appearance of Shogun that the resident Bounty red-stringed ‘joke’ cork-board doubled in size and seriousness. It also was no surprise that Red had a corner all to himself and that his theories were… in the words of the others, ‘wildly inaccurate and implausible’.

But this time, he was sure he’d gotten it right.

Smith is Shogun sent here from another continent/planet/dimension with the goal of protecting Ninjago City.

The latest string of laughs and scoffs at his theory was the last straw. He’d show them. He’d prove it!

Which was why he was currently standing on the roof of a noodle house, awkwardly adjusting the spare motorcycle helmet he’d ‘borrowed’ from Nya and painted black and orangey-yellow (red had seemed too obvious). He’d exchanged his Ninjaforce outfit for a soot-burned cross between a bomber jacket and a leather jacket. Down his back jutted a row of flames like the spines of a monster, courtesy of one of Nya & Jay’s unfinished inventions Red had modified- surely nothing bad would come of that!

For tonight, the Red Ninja was off-duty. For tonight, it was Heatstroke’s turn.

He fiddled with one of the weapons he’d ‘lent out’ from Master Wu. It resembled a small arm canon, like a smaller version of the Ultimate Weapon. The plaque under its post had read ‘Elemental Focuser’, which, in cryptic Wu speak, probably translated to ‘you can use an elemental power like something out of Avatar: The Last Airbender’. So far he’d only figured out how to activate a focused jet of fire. Well, at least it was on brand. He hoped it would help him catch Shogun’s attention so he could unmask him.

He’d tried confronting Smith at school, of course. But there were only so many ways of saying ‘are you the new vigilante helping the ninjas’, and Smith has a genuine talent for dancing around the topic. Red could confront him with the name Shogun to get a proper reaction, but that would mean explaining how he knew the name and outing himself as the Red Ninja.

So fake villainy really was the only way.

His plan was to use the Elemental Focuser to cause some minor petty damage, just enough to attract the new vigilante. Perhaps set a trash can on fire, block an alleyway with rocks (if he figured out how to change the setting from fire to earth), small things that could easily be repaired.

Of course, plans were never actually stuck to. One way or another, something was always improvised.

Red’s improvisation just happened to involve him accidentally setting the entire alleyway on fire.

He’d only been aiming for one dumpster, honest! And maybe he’d spotted a couple fliers for a SoG meeting on the ground and happened to burn those too. And a newspaper article blaming Lloyd for the recent Garmadon attack, again. And an article about those ‘Damn Ninja Menaces’ by a S. Sonah Sameson. And-

Okay, so maybe Red had aimed the fire at a few small targets. But just a few! And with good reason and good care, but…

Well, fire liked to burn. Give it enough kindle and it’ll continue to grow, stretching like reaching branches towards each other to join in a massive bonfire. 

So now the entire alleyway was on fire, and Red was panicking. 

He’d luckily chosen an abandoned part of town near the beaches where Shogun sightings seemed most frequent, but with the stupid Elemental Focuser not switching from fire mode to water mode or ice mode or something that didn’t have the potential to burn Ninjago City to the ground, Red had no way of stopping the flames.

And more flames meant more destruction which meant a bigger audience.

Which was why his previously muted comm suddenly flared to life, the only warning Red had before Nya’s water strider mech slid around the corner.

Red scrambled onto a roof as the mech drove past, spraying water at the bonfire to dose it. His sigh of relief was just as quickly dosed as Lloyd’s voice came over the comms; “Status, Grey?”

“Flames are out,” Nya replied. “Pursing the joker that set it ablaze.”

Uh oh. Red took off across the roof, leaping from building to building. Tiles creaked, pebbled and dust scattering underfoot. The sounds of the mech’s engine roaring behind him echoed through alleyways below to create the illusion the mech was everywhere at once. 

As the chase grew on, more mechs started to join in. Red ducked into a narrow avenue to avoid Zane’s tank, then under a cafe overhang to throw off Jay and Lloyd. His heart hammered in his chest and he groaned, filling the inside of the motorcycle helmet with steam. Saying this was going ‘bad’ would be the understatement of the century. 

What had he been thinking? Oh wait: he hadn’t. Seriously? ‘Oh I’ll just pretend to be a villain real quick, that should get Shogun’s attention and not the attention of literally my entire team of fellow ninjas!’ Stupid, impulsive, this was why everyone was always calling the red ninja the ‘hothead’ when he really tried not to be- Lloyd’s voice over the comms snapped him from his thoughts. “I can’t catch them! It’s like they know our every move!”

Red winced as he climbed up a banister and leapt from balcony to balcony. Sorry, Lloyd. 

He didn’t miss how the others asked Nya where Red was. And how she made up excuses the others bought so easily- granted, he’d told those excuses to his sister before setting his plan into motion, but still, ouch. They acted like he was simply being at best too busy and at worst lazy and selfish.

He just wanted them to know the truth! Why couldn’t they at least try to believe him when-

Of course, that was when Shogun dropped out of the sky and tackled him.

Red shouted with surprise as he tumbled down from the second floor, slamming into a few softer bags of garbage to break his fall before rolling and slamming into the unforgiving concrete. A crack formed in his vision as the visor of his motorbike helmet smacked into the concrete ground. One of the fire jets on his back sputtered and sparked, sending a thin wisp of smoke into the air.

Shogun pinned his wrists to the ground and growled. “Who are you?”

Red tried to break free, agony turning his muscles and bones to fire with the movement after his fall, but the vigilante was too strong. Damn, how often did this guy train?

“Who am I?” Red said, a nervous tinge to his voice. He quickly smoothed it over with faked confidence. “Who are you? Who are all of us, really?”

Shogun narrowed his eyes behind his hood. “Did Garmadon send you? Or someone else?”

Red sputtered. Really, the nerve! Garmadon? The thought turned his insides to disgusting mud. “Nobody sent me!”

“Then why are you here?” Shogun spat.

“Why am I here?” Why was he here again? Oh right, the bright idea on how to reveal that Shogun was Smith. “It’s, uh… a valid reason! That I don’t have to tell you!” He tried for a villainous laugh. Stay in character, don’t blow your cover, you got this!

Shogun was unimpressed. “Nearly burning down my home was a valid reason?”

“Well, I wasn’t trying to set everything on- wait, WHAT?” Uh oh. “You LIVE here?”

Now it was Shogun’s turn to look uncomfortable, though the expression was quickly wiped from his face. “Nothing wrong with this district.” 

Red nodded. “‘Course not. Uh, sorry about that… wasn’t my intention, I swear.”

Shoot, he could hear Jay’s jet getting closer. He had to get out of here, but Shogun, annoyingly, didn’t seem to be in the mood to simply let him go. “Then what is your intention?”

“Well, for starters, it’s getting out of here. This really isn’t going to plan and I’d rather just be home right now, or even inventing a time machine like in that book ‘Hands of Time’ to slap my past self in the face for even thinking about this stupid idea in the first place-“

Jay wasn’t the only one that could ramble under pressure, it seemed.

Shogun leaned closer. “What idea?”

Red shrugged as best he could with how he was pinned to the ground. “Well, for starters, I just wanted to prove to my friends that you’re Smith, and things just kinda escalated from-”

The words were out of his mouth before he realized what he said. 

Shogun lurched back, letting go of him. His eyes betrayed a kaleidoscope of emotions; surprise, worry, suspicious, hurt, fear, realization. 

“…Kai?”

Well, f!ck.

“I-“

Red was about to badly attempt to bullsh!t his way out of his identity reveal before it suddenly dawned on him that Shogun had not denied his theory. 

Which meant Shogun was Smith.

And it also meant Smith instantly recognized him as Kai, which, considering his disguise, was aptly concerning. Sure, he was the first one in his group of friends people would think to do something this extreme but give him some credit! Zane was a regular detective, he’d do the same if it meant answers! Or, well, at least something similar. And Nya could be an adrenaline seeker. And Lloyd- well, maybe not Lloyd. Or Jay, either. Cole had his head just enough on his shoulders that he probably wouldn’t do this either.

But come on, instantly guessing it?

Well, at least Smith/Shogun didn’t know Kai was the Red Ninja. That would be a catastrophe.

Right. Back to the current catastrophe at hand.

Shogun- Smith- still had a look as if he’d been slapped, and Red hated it. He hadn’t meant to hurt his friend. Shogun… Shogun hadn’t wanted them to find out his identity. And then Red had gone and done it, just to prove that he could be the smart one, or a leader, or the protector so they didn’t get hurt, or literally anything but just the ‘hotheaded one’. 

…And he’d done it in the most hotheaded, impulsive way possible.

He really was an idiot.

The cracked helmet hid the look on his face, a twisted mess of distraught and shame. But it didn’t help hide how he took stumbled to his feet and away from Smith, nervous that any second he’d spill another mistake and mess up again, like how he always freaking messed up on everything. Don’t pick this fight, interject there instead, no, not there, idiot, there, FMS why are you so useless-

Focus, focus.

Lloyd’s voice, sharp in the intercom and full of static from his tumble, snapped him from his thoughts. “Anyone got eyes on the arsonist?”

Red caught Smith’s eye as he raised his hand to his own communicator. He was so screwed, so busted, so doomed… Smith would report it, and the others would know, and they’d think he was just messing around in an alleyway with some stolen devices and weapons out of curiosity or rage, - and-

“None yet, still looking.”

…What?

Smith stared at him, gaze searching. He looked shaken, more so than Red- who’d just taken a fall from a second story, mind you, it was a miracle he wasn’t more injured than a couple small scrapes and some future bruises-, yet everything from the set of his jaw to the softening of his furrowed brows suggested a change in emotions. Well, not quite change; more like repress and replace.

“You wanted to prove yourself, didn’t you.”

Red flushed, hand instinctually clamping into a tight fist at his side. The still-working fire jets on his back ignited without him pressing any buttons; faulty activation from the fall or something. 

Palms up and hands raised, Smith silently asked to defuse the situation. “Didn’t mean it as an insult. This wasn’t about venting some anger, was it.”

Red’s lack of response only confirmed it. Smith continued. “I won’t say anything about this if you don’t tell anyone my identity. Deal? I know finding it out was important to you, but-“

“Deal,” Red interrupted. Guilt ate away at his core, like a wave of water dousing a candle. “Smith, I-“ He swallowed hard and stared at the alley floor. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… to…”

Smith’s hand was suddenly on his shoulder and he flinched before relaxing as Smith didn’t move further, nor did the grip tighten. “I’m a little hurt, you’re right. But I’m not mad. And I won’t tell the others, so you can relax. But you better get out of here and get yourself an alibi. We can talk at school or something.”

Wow, he was handling this rather calmly. Red was struck by the sudden memory of- what did Jay call the word? Right. Compartmentalizing. That… wasn’t healthy. But at the roar of Lloyd’s mech somewhere nearby, he didn’t comment further. Instead, he shot Smith a grateful nod and ran down the alley, sticking to the shadows and blind spots of the flying mechs and the tight alleyways where the land mechs couldn’t reach him. 

When he got home, miraculously without further incident (though Shogun leading the others on a wild goose chase over the comms certainly helped there), he ditched the outfit in a bag hidden beneath a loose floorboard in the shed. He’d return the weapon to Master Wu’s ship later, and… well, hope Nya never searched for the missing supplies. There wasn’t a way of fixing it without involving her or Jay, and neither was an option.

Heatstroke was back off duty, and so was the Red Ninja.

For now, he could just be Kai Smith. And there wasn’t any issue with that.

…

Right?

—————

yooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THIS IS AMAZING REHJJGFHDESFXJVZ

and ah yes, good ol trauma and compartmentalizing, we love to see it

[seita]

— you love too easy | hitoshi shinsou (m.)

pairing: hitoshi shinsou/f!reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut

wordcount: 𝟾𝟹𝟾𝟶

cw: childhood friends!au, roommate!au

tags: unrequited love, pining, toxic relationship (oc x shinsou), brief kaminari x reader, cunnilignus, dirty talk, pet names, praise kink, fingering, size kink, loss of virginity, light virgin kink, creampie, squirting, angst with a happy ending

note: sorry if u like kaminari. i made him a huge douchebag in this. i swear i like him i just needed a character to be,,,,well, a douchebag.

— all your life you'd been by his side. you've loved him since you could remember. you've always been by his side so why did he give his heart away to everyone but you; the one who would treat it right?

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© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.  

He fell in love too easily. You knew that your entire life. He’d give his heart away to anyone and everyone, fully and with everything he had. He loved with every fiber of his being. And it always ended in disaster. 

You couldn’t count how many nights you’d spent by his side rubbing his back as he cried because his girlfriend lied to him, comforting him as he hunched over a toilet after crying himself sick because his girlfriend cheated on him, or forcing him to eat because he got so depressed after she ignored him. 

It was an endless cycle. 

Yet you were always there to build him back up -- to pick up the pieces. 

Ever since the first girlfriend he had in Kindergarten that lasted for 2 days and ended in his tears up to the girl he dated in senior year of highschool who cheated on him with her ex...you were the one to fix him. 

Yes, Hitoshi Shinsou fell in love far too easily and way too hard.

The thought that kept you awake every night, however, was why couldn’t it be you? You were the one who took the best care of his heart -- being the one to piece it back together every time it was broken. He didn’t need to love anyone else. If he just loved you, he would never have to worry if he just gave his heart to you. 

But he never would. 

Because he didn’t love you like you loved him. 

You’d known him since you were babies -- your parents were friends in highschool and it went on well into adulthood. 

Naturally, the two of you grew close -- it was inevitable. Your crush on him developed in childhood -- you two got lost in the mall after you strayed away and he kept you safe and calm until you found your parents, his hand clasped tightly around yours as he let you cling to him. That was the first time you realized he made your cheeks feel warm and your tummy fluttery.

Your parents always joked that the two of you would fall in love and get married. It was nearly impossible for that idea not to be imprinted in your mind. 

Except, it was never an idea he entertained. 

Part of you felt foolish. You were a grown adult with a crush that you’d harbored since childhood -- pathetic, one-sided crush at that. 

The thing was, unlike Shinsou, you’d never dated before. It was never something you desired. Sure, you had confessions and love letters but you’d never once accepted them. You just couldn’t see yourself being with anyone but him.

Upon graduating, the two of you realized how terrible it was to be 18 trying to make it in the adult world. After a few years of fumbling and nearly getting kicked out by not making your rent payments on time, you decided that rooming together would be the best idea. 

It was a foolproof plan; you’d known each other for your whole lives so it wasn’t like you’d suddenly hate each other, you knew he was responsible with his money and you were too, and he was a quiet, chill guy so there wouldn’t be any obnoxious ruckus. 

What you didn’t think about, however, was him bringing girls home. 

“This is Aoi,” he introduced, motioning to the smiling girl beside him, “Aoi, this is _____...she’s my best friend.”

“And his roommate,” you added, holding your hand out politely.

“Oh you...live together?” you didn’t miss the distaste in her tone as she reached out to give you a weak handshake, pulling away as quickly as she could. She immediately wrapped her arms around his and he leaned how to press a kiss to the top of her head. 

Ouch. That made your heart hurt. 

Of course, it was nothing new. This was something you’d been through time and time again. 

What you hadn’t accounted for, was her dislike of you. Naturally, his past girlfriends hadn’t always been fond of you -- after all, you were a big part of their boyfriend’s life. And jealousy was a fickle disease. 

But Aoi’s dislike bordered on hatred and disgust over you. Every chance she got, she was pulling Shinsou away from you with some thinly veiled excuse. It seemed your best friend was none the wiser as well. 

You couldn’t blame him -- he was in love. Unfortunately. 

Aoi’s glares were ice cold, often sending shivers down your spine when she set it upon you. It was uncomfortable to say the least. She was at your place often enough for you to take up the art of avoiding her.

That is until one day when things seemed to come to a head for her. You weren’t sure what  you did but you found yourself cornered in the kitchen one evening while Shinsou was taking a shower -- leaving just the two of you alone. 

“Listen to me,” Aoi spat, arms crossed over her chest, making her look petulant, “You need to back off of Toshi.”

“Uhh...what?” you grunted, looking up from the glass of chocolate milk you were pouring.

“Stay away from him!” she spat.

“We literally live together,” you rolled your eyes, capping the pint of milk, “I can’t stay away from him.”

“You know what I mean,” she hissed, clearly pissed off by your sarcasm. She marched up to you, grabbing your upper arm in a vice grip, her acrylic nails pinching your skin, “I see the way you look at him. I know that look in your eye. You love him.”

Your mind blanked, mouth opening but failing to produce any words. She smirked smugly, stepping back and crossing her arms again.

“I…” your brows came together as you shook your head, finally putting the milk away.

“I knew it,” she huffed, “You can’t take him from me. Toshi is mine so you better remember that. You have no idea what I can do to you.”

With that parting threat, she stormed out of the kitchen back to Shinsou’s bedroom. You felt tears sting your eyes, feeling utterly humiliated by her. 

Another thing about Hitoshi Shinsou is he’s terribly dense sometimes. You had no idea how he managed to miss the horrifying tension between you and Aoi. But he somehow did. 

The three of you sat in the living room -- the two of them cuddled on the couch while you curled up under a throw blanket with your phone open to Twitter on the loveseat. They were watching some movie Aoi picked out that you knew Shinsou hated, but he watched it anyway. The thought made you bitter.

You’d never make him watch movies he hated. That’s just selfish. 

You let out a sigh, catching your best friend’s attention immediately.

“What is it, darlin’?” he asked, the usual pet name he used for you making your stomach flutter. Aoi’s eyes narrowed in distaste at it but he paid her no mind.

“Oh, I’ve just got a bit of a headache,” you mumbled, locking your phone to look over at him.

He frowned, concerned, pulling his arm from around his girlfriend’s shoulders. She whined at the loss, attempting to pull him back but he paid her no mind.

He disappeared from the living room to the kitchen. You could hear the refrigerator open before he began shuffling around the cabinets.

“You’re not slick,” Aoi hissed, keeping her voice low, “Why don’t you just go away. Don’t you think he’d prefer to be alone with his girlfriend? You’re just a third wheel.”

You didn’t get to reply before Shinsou returned, holding a glass of your chocolate milk and a couple pills. He smiled, handing everything to you before taking a seat with Aoi again. She immediately clung to him with a whine.

“Thank you Toshi,” you smiled, popping the pills in your mouth before taking a quick gulp of the milk. 

“Anytime, darlin’” he smiled, turning his attention back to the movie he hated. 

Part of you felt prideful that he was willing to pull himself away from his girlfriend to take care of you. She clearly saw you as competition and you couldn’t deny the giddy feeling it gave you when you proved to her that you meant something to Shinsou. 

You noticed very quickly when Shinsou stopped calling you by his nickname. It baffled you and you didn’t hesitate to bring it up to him.

“Ah, Aoi mentioned she doesn’t like it when I call other girls pet names,” he rubbed the back of his neck in that familiarly anxious way of him. He was avoiding your gaze, further ticking you off.

“I’m not other girls, Hitoshi,” he visibly cringed at hearing his full name, “I’m your best friend. You’ve always called me that.”

He sighed, biting his lip, clearly torn, “Sorry _____,” you frowned at the sound of your name. It seemed so foreign hearing it where he’d usually call you ‘darlin’’, “She is my girlfriend and it’d be shitty of me to neglect her wishes. I want this to work, you know?”

You rolled your eyes, arms crossing over your chest, “This is stupid Hitoshi.”

He sighed, clearly growing annoyed as well, “Look, you’re just my friend, alright? So back off.”

Your jaw fell open at those words, tears already starting to sting at your eyes, “Just your friend? That’s low, Hitoshi. I am not just your friend and you know it.”

He groaned, running a hand through his already messy hair, “You’re starting to sound jealous and clingy, _____. It’s not a good look.”

Feeling that the tears were going to spill any moment, you shook your head and stormed past him, “Screw you Shinsou.”

You slammed your bedroom door, missing the sight of him burying his face in his hands. Hearing you address him by his last name was even worse than hearing his first. 

Things remained tense between the two of you for a week. You had really been hurt by his words. You always thought you meant a lot to him -- that you’d never be the person who was pushed aside for a relationship. You never thought Shinsou would do that. 

As a result, you made no effort to even speak to him. Sometimes you’d pass him while he sat on the couch, Aoi snuggled up to him. Whenever you made eye contact with you, she held this smug, superior look that made you want to clock her. 

You’d never hated a girlfriend of his more.

Finally, Shinsou gave in. He couldn’t stand not having you to talk to. There was this heavy feeling lingering on his shoulders every time he thought about the cold way you called him by his last name. He never wanted to be addressed like that by you. 

There were a series of knocks on your door and you paused, debating on ignoring him. He knocked again when you took too long to answer.

“Come in,” you groaned, putting your laptop aside to give him your attention.

“Hey,” he smiled half-heartedly as he slipped into your room, closing the door behind him. 

“What do you want?” you asked, no bite in your voice.

He sighed, taking a seat beside you on the bed, “I want to apologize for what I said. I know that hurt your feelings so I’m sorry.”

You were quiet for a moment before you sat up straighter, “Hitoshi...I don’t want you to become a different person because of a girl.”

“What do you mean?” he frowned. 

You sighed, “I think she’s a bad influence on you, Toshi.”

He softened briefly at your use of his nickname but it was quickly replaced by a cold stare that sent shivers down your spine, “A-A bad influence? I’m not a kid, _____.”

You frowned, “You don’t have to be a kid to be negatively influenced by another person's toxicity, Hitoshi.”

“You think she’s toxic?” he scoffed, standing up, “You don’t even know her. You’ve barely even spoken to her.”

“Well the bit that I have spoken to her was not pleasant,” you spat, moving to sit at the edge of the bed with your feet on the floor, “I don’t think she’s good for you.”

“What are you, my mother now?” he growled, spinning around to glare at you, “Maybe I was wrong...maybe you are just jealous.”

“How am I acting jealous?” you cried, growing frustrated, “Caring about your wellbeing is jealousy now?”

“Oh get off it,” he groaned, “What’s she done then, huh? Tell me.”

You paused, remembering her threat. But you were so pissed off you couldn’t keep it in anymore, “She’s threatened me to stay away from you. She’s so insecure about our friendship she threatened me over it! Said you were hers and I better remember that. She’s crazy!”

“She didn’t say that,” he argued, eyes narrowed maliciously, “You’re just making shit up to make her look bad now. That’s really low, _____.”

“You asked me to tell you what she did and then you just don’t believe me?!” you screeched, tossing your hands up in exasperation.

“I thought you’d tell me the truth, not make up some pathetic lie!” he shouted, making you flinch. 

“Pathetic?” you breathed, shoulders sagging, “Is that what you think of me?”

He was quiet for a moment, jaw set. He seemed to be thinking his words carefully, which made his next even more painful, “Yeah. I do. This jealousy and lying of yours is pathetic. I get if you don’t like her but don’t make up shit about her,” he made way for the door, yanking it open, “Grow the fuck up, ______.”

You didn’t get a chance to reply before he was slamming your door shut. All at once, your emotions came crashing down and you buried your face in your pillow to silence your sobs. 

Your eyes fluttered open and you groaned, feeling your head pound. A glance out the window showed that it was nighttime. You had fallen asleep. 

You climbed out of bed to your desk to find your packet of headache pills. You let out a sigh of relief as you swallowed them down with the bottle of water sat on your nightstand. Flopping back into bed, you closed your eyes and attempted to relax your body. 

Just as it seemed that you were going to fall back asleep, there was a loud noise from past your door. You frowned, your eyes fluttering open in confusion. 

It came again and it took you a moment to realize what it was. A woman’s moan. 

“Toshi!” you heard her squeal, making you flinch.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you hissed, feeling those tears come burning their way back. 

“That feel good, baby? Let me hear you,” he growled and your hands flew up to cover your ears to muffle the sounds of her pleasure. 

This was low for Shinsou. Sure, he’d had sex with girlfriends before but he always made sure to keep it down for your sake. Now he was just doing it to dig at you. 

He wasn’t wrong about your jealousy but you knew he thought you were jealous over his attention being taken away. But that wasn’t the case at all. It was because you were in love with him. 

Now he was forcing you to listen to him fuck the girlfriend you literally had a fight over. This wasn’t like Shinsou at all. 

She really was just a terrible influence on him but he was too in love to see it. She was making him into a different person and you hated it. It was happening so quickly. 

As you laid in bed, tears wetting your bed as you hid your head under your pillow, you couldn’t help but think.

The stupid fool really fell in love way too easily. 

Things went from bad to worse astonishingly fast. Aoi was over more often than she had been before. The snotty comments and humiliating words from her every time you saw her and the cold, deadly glare Shinsou set on you whenever you came anywhere near his girlfriend was wearing on you. 

You were unhappy. It was an emotion you rarely ever felt around him -- Shinsou was always the one to pick you up, not put you down. It got to the point where he wouldn’t even respond to your greetings or questions, giving you the complete silent treatment. 

It hurt. 

To escape the suffocating negativity of your apartment, you picked up even more shifts at work. The video game shop became a place you found solace in. 

If Shinsou noticed your absence, he didn’t make it known to you. 

“Will that be all for you today?” you asked, plastering on a fake, customer service smile onto your face.

“Yeah, I guess,” he mumbled, slapping down a few bills to cover the charge, “But I think I’d like to add your number to my receipt.”

You took a moment to look at him. He had blonde hair with a lightning bolt of black through it. He was dressed in black jeans, a t-shirt, and a leather jacket. He was cute, you’d give him that.

“Is that the best you could come up with?” you asked, opening the register with a brow raised.

He giggled, making you smile despite yourself, “I was on a time crunch I didn’t want to miss my chance.”

“Who said you had a chance to begin with?” you asked, passing him his change, “3.14 is your change.”

“Well, I was hoping you’d give one to me,” he shrugged, stuffing the change into  his pocket before grabbing the bagged video game he’d purchased. 

You gazed at him for a moment. He was charismatic and cute. He liked video games just like you. And he’d be a great distraction.

“Sure, why not?” you mused, watching his eyes go wide.

“Wait really?” he gasped, a grin stretching across his face.

“Did you think I’d say no?” you asked. 

“U-Usually I get rejected so…” he shrugged, scratching the back of his head with a cute blush reaching his ears, “Anyway, when’s your shift end?”

“Um...closing time, so about 8:30,” you replied, glancing at the clock. 5 hours left. 

“Sweet, I’ll pick you up!” he grinned.

“I-I’ll have to change though!” you complained, making him pause and shake his head.

“Don’t worry about it!” with those parting words, he bolted out the door, the bell chiming to signal his departure. 

As he disappeared from view, you realized you didn’t even know his name. 

You would come to find he was Denki Kaminari; a college student majoring in graphic design. He had a friend named Katsuki Bakugou who was as loud as he was angry. Eijirou Kirishima was a kind, chill guy who mellowed out the explosive Bakugou well. Mina and Sato, two friends-turned-lovers, were a common source of laughter for the group. 

You were together for a little over a month and a half when he finally asked to meet your friends. Truth be told, the only person you could consider a friend would be Shinsou. You had acquaintances and those you hung real casually with but Shinsou was the only person you’d consider a friend.

Well, you weren’t sure if he could even be called that anymore. 

Eventually, you gave in and decided to bring Kaminari to your apartment. 

“Whoa, nice place,” he mumbled, looking around. 

“You think so? Thanks,” you smiled, leading him towards the living room, “Like I said...things are...tense between me and Hitoshi so…”

“Who’re you?” a familiar voice came from the entry of the hallway. 

Shinsou stood there, messy hair and tired eyed wearing basketball shorts and an oversized t-shirt. His eyes burned holes into Kaminari, who visibly shrunk beneath the heated glare. You took note of how Shinsou didn’t even look at you. 

That still hurt.

“I’m Denki Kaminari,” the blonde replied, approaching Shinsou to shake his hand, “I’m _____’s boyfriend!”

You didn’t miss the shift in Shinsou’s look, his eyebrows perking up ever so slightly. His gaze finally shifted to you before he scoffed from his nose, making you wince. 

“Alright,” Shinsou mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets before turning his back to the both of you, stalking back to his room with a slam of the door. 

Kaminari winced, “Boy, you weren’t kidding.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, motioning him to follow you, “Let’s head to my room. I don’t know if Aoi is here or not and I don’t care to find out.”

“I kinda wanna meet her too,” your boyfriend whispered, lowering his voice so it didn’t carry to Shinsou.

“No you don’t,” you chuckled, shutting your bedroom door once the two of you were safely inside. 

You sat beside him on the bed, reaching for your remote to click the TV on for background noise. He cuddled in beside you, commenting on how soft your bed was. 

“You smell really good,” he suddenly whispered, nosing at your neck. 

You blinked in surprise, moving your head so he could get a better angle, “Th-Thanks…”

He hummed as you shivered once he pressed a few soft kisses against your neck. It tickled a bit but also sent a strange tingle down your spine the more he kissed. Your heart hammered in your chest and you briefly wondered if Denki could hear it. 

He cupped your jaw, pulling you into a deep kiss. His tongue met your bottom lip, making you sigh against his lips. 

You barely noticed his hand crawling up your shirt until it snuck beneath the band of your bra. The unfamiliar feeling of someone cupping your breast had you pulled away, tugging on Kaminari’s hand to pull him away. 

“W-We shouldn’t…” you whispered, unsure of how to reject him, “W-With Shinsou the way he is…”

Kaminari looked skeptical for a second before nodding his head, “Got it.”

And that was that. 

At least you thought until he began trying more and more. It became common for you to find his hand up your shirt. The feeling made you uneasy, making you realize you really weren’t ready to have sex. Kaminari was your first boyfriend and you weren’t willing to give everything up to him like that.

“Why do you always stop me?” Kaminari asked one day, voice soft and reassuring.

“I just…” you cleared your throat, biting your lip, “I don’t want to go that far yet.”

He was quiet for a moment before smiling and nodding his head, pulling you closer to him with a kiss to your forehead. Your body relaxed, thankful that he wasn’t angry with you like you had feared he would be. 

He began following your wishes, no longer attempting to go past kissing. You were thankful. 

Unfortunately, your bliss didn’t last long because next thing you knew, he was dumping you. Over text. 

You had just got home from work, your feet aching and dread pooling in your stomach at the idea of being home. You were so tired of being scared to come home, it was exhausting. Shinsou was sitting on the couch, eating something he’d made himself for dinner with his back to you. He didn’t even show any signs that he knew you were home. 

Lingering by the door, you pulled your phone out to check your notifications. 

One from Denki made your heart stop -- the preview text already displaying what you feared. Your fingers were trembling as you unlocked your phone to look at the message. 

As you read it, the words grew blurrier until tears began to drip onto your screen -- further obscuring the words there. 

A small whimper escaped your throat, despite the way you tried to choke down any sounds. You quickly scurried to get to your bedroom when a strong hand snagged your wrist. Wide eyed, you were spun around to find Shinsou wearing a frown and furrowed brows. 

“Why are you crying?” he asked, voice stern with concern. 

You shook your head, feeling pathetic. You didn’t like Kaminari that much. Truthfully, you were mostly dating him to get away from Shinsou. But the idea that you were dumped because you wouldn’t have sex was utterly humiliating. Your first real boyfriend dumped you because you wouldn’t put out. 

“You were right,” you sniffled, unable to hold back the sob that tore through your chest, “I am pathetic.”

He didn’t have the chance to even think of a reply before you were escaping his hold to hide away in your bedroom. You haphazardly stripped and changed into your softest set of clothes, deciding you were going to wallow in your own self pity for the night. 

Your humiliation overshadowed the fact Shinsou had shown you the first sign of care in weeks. He had reacted to your crying just as he always had and instinctively moved to comfort you. 

You could hear muffled voices from the hallway, one male and one female. The fact he brought her over after you just had a near meltdown in front of him irked you and only brought more tears forth. 

A sense of anger rushed over you -- you didn’t want her there. This was your house and you didn’t want her there while you were going through it. You had half a mind to go out there and kick her out, maybe Shinsou would let it slide since you were clearly having a tough time. 

What you didn’t expect were the shouts coming from them. You frowned and walked towards your door, cracking it open to listen to their shouting from the living room.

“You’re kicking me out?!” Aoi cried. 

“I’m not kicking you out,” Shinsou sighed, “You don’t live here. I’m just asking you to go home for the night, Aoi.”

“Why should I?” Aoi argued, “Because she’s upset? Who cares!”

“I care!” Shinsou snapped.

Aoi scoffed, “Oh yeah, since when? Last I checked you picked me over her!”

“I didn’t pick anyone over anyone,” Shinsou huffed.

“Really?” Aoi’s tone was dripping in sarcasm, “You haven’t paid her a second of attention since your little fight. I doubt you even noticed how she’s been working full-time instead of part-time. Why do you think that is? To get away from you! Not that I give a shit, but you have been treating her like dirt. So don’t even try and pretend you give a shit, I know you don’t. You only feel bad because she’s crying. Once she gets over it you’ll just come back to me in the end. So just let her sulk by herself, she’s a big girl.”

Shinsou was quiet after that. You were sure he wasn’t even going to respond but you continued to stand there and listen. The apartment was silent, you could even hear the ticking of the decorative clock Shinsou’s mother had given you both. 

“She was right, huh?” he finally whispered.

“Huh?” Aoi replied, clearly annoyed.

“I really did let you turn me into someone else,” he sighed, “God, I’m so stupid.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Hitoshi?” she snapped, growing impatient over the argument. 

“You should leave,” Shinsou said, voice strong once again, “You and I are done.”

“What?!” Aoi shrieked, stomping her foot, “You can’t dump me! Not for her!”

“Get out, Aoi,” Shinsou growled, yanking the front door open.

She scoffed, “Don’t come crawling back to me when you learn she isn’t worth it.”

The slam of the door signalled the end. Silence ensued and you slipped back into your room, letting your door shut silently. 

Just as you expected, there were a few soft knocks on your door. You didn’t reply but he opened up anyway, peeking in to find you sitting on the bed with your head hung.

“I assume you heard all that,” he said, cupping the back of his neck nervously. 

“Yeah, kind of hard to miss,” you mumbled, feeling awkward about sharing this moment with him.

You didn’t look up when he sat down beside you. With a sudden tug, you found yourself wrapped up in a sweet embrace. 

“Why were you crying? Did something happen with that Kaminari dude? Did he hurt you?” his concern brought forth a new flood of tears that you let go. 

“He dumped me,” you whined, clinging to the front of his shirt.

“Why?” he asked, petting your hair softly.

You scoffed, shame building up inside you, “Because I didn’t want to have sex with him.”

Immediately he pushed you back by your shoulders to look at your face, “He dumped you ‘cause you wouldn’t fuck him?”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze, “He said he had needs and he wasn’t willing to wait for me to put out.”

“Jesus,” Shinsou scoffed, shaking his head, “What a prick,” he pulled you into his chest again with a sigh, “It’s good you didn’t sleep with him then. He wouldn’t have been worth it.”

“Yeah, I would have regretted it,” you nodded, “I’m not even sad he broke up with me. I just feel like shit that it was over sex. He was my first boyfriend and I got dumped because I wasn’t ready...that sort of feels shitty, you know?”

Shinsou nodded, resting his cheek atop your head, “I understand. It’s like a blow to your self-esteem, yeah?”

“Exactly,” you sniffled, your tears finally coming to a stop as he held you and let you talk, “I didn’t like him enough to sleep with him anyway. Even if I was ready.”

Shinsou chuckled, “Well, I’m glad you’re not heartbroken over it.”

You were quiet for a long moment before you pulled away from him, “How are you? I know you liked Aoi.”

Shinsou frowned, looking at his hands in his lap before shrugging, “I actually don’t really feel anything.”

“Really?” you asked, surprised. Usually he would be in tears by now. But he was right, there wasn’t even an ounce of sadness in his eyes.

He nodded, “All I really cared about was you. I guess realizing what she really was wiped out anything I felt for her. Truthfully, it was probably going to be over soon anyway.”

“Why do you say that?” you asked.

“We just didn’t have good chemistry, I suppose. The sex was great but beyond that we didn’t really share any common interests,” he explained, leaning back on his hands with a sigh.

You cringed at the mention of sex -- remembering the night you sobbed as you were forced to listen to them go at it. Shinsou seemed to notice your discomfort, leaning up straight once more to take your hands in his. 

“I’m sorry, ______,” he breathed, making you look up at him, “I was such a fuckin’ asshole to you. You didn’t deserve that and if you chose to never forgive me I would understand. But I promise I will never let a girl come first again. You’re my best friend, you’re the entire world to me and you will always be here when all the girls leave, I know that. No one can ever replace you.”

His words caused a flood of tears to flood down your cheeks again. You threw your arms around his shoulders, tugging him into a desperate hug. He wrapped his arms around your waist, fisting the back of your shirt with his face buried in your neck. 

“I will always be here, Toshi,” you hiccuped, “I really will. It doesn’t matter if you choose the next 50 girls over me, I would never let you go. I would rather live with you ignoring me and making me cry over not having you at all.”

He sighed, tears of his own falling from his eyes and wetting your skin but you didn’t mind, “I would never ask that of you.”

“You don’t have to,” you whispered, voice trembling. You couldn’t stop the next words from coming, you didn’t even try, “That’s how strong my love is for you, Toshi. I would do anything for your happiness. I’ll let you cry on my shoulder when girl after girl breaks your heart, even though it hurts so damn much because I know I would never, ever let you down like that. I’ll sit with you in the living room while another girl is wrapped in your arms, desperately wishing it was me, because you want me and her to be friends. You don’t even know it but you have every bit of me,” your voice broke as you let out a sob, taking a stuttering breath before continuing, “I never dated because I only ever loved you. You’re the only one I ever want to love. I don’t even care if you don’t feel the same, Toshi, I just needed you to know...I have loved you since we were kids. Whenever your mom joked that we would get married, I used to go to sleep hoping it would come true one day. You’re it for me, you know?”

Shinsou was still, every muscle in his body tense against you. You remained relaxed, relishing in being held in his arms even though it very well may be the last time you would ever experience it. His tears had stopped and you could feel his hands trembling against your back from where he was still holding your shirt in tight fists. 

Finally, slowly, he pulled away. You avoided his gaze, scared of what you may find there. With trembling fingers, he lifted your chin until you were finally forced to meet his gaze.

“______…” he whispered, your voice like honey on his lips, “Is that true? Since we were kids?”

You chuckled through your still falling tears, “Remember that time at the summer festival when I wandered off and you had to chase me? And I got scared because I couldn’t find our parents? When you let me hold onto you and you kept reassuring me that everything was okay…” you shrugged, your voice cracking as you uttered, “I knew I loved you then. And I love you to this day.”

His wide eyes were glassy as he stared at you, mouth agape in his shock. It was so much for him to take in. 

Before you knew what was happening, he was leaning in and pressing his lips against yours. Your vision went white for a second in shock at the feeling. 

His lips were soft and as you began to kiss back, you tasted coffee on his lips. Typical of Shinsou, it was late at night and he was still drinking coffee. The thought made you smile and you wrapped your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. He cupped the back of your head, a soft sigh escaping him as he moved his lips expertly until you were breathless.

After a long moment, he pulled away. The both of you were panting, eyes lidded as you processed what just happened.

“Toshi…” you whispered, feeling euphoric after kissing him, “I don’t understand.”

He shook his head, cupping your cheek, “All you need to know...is that I love you too.”

You gaped at those words coming from his lips. Surging forward, you pressed your lips against his again. He smiled into the kiss, leaning further against you until you were forced to lay back against the mattress. His body was hovering above yours, held up by his elbows on either side of your head.

He wasted no time in touching your body, years of desperation finally culminating into this one moment. His hand slid beneath your shirt, pushing the hem up to expose the soft skin of your belly.  He paused at your ribs, unsure if you were okay with him going any further. But when you gripped his wrist and urged his hand up to cup your breast, he threw away those inhibitions. 

Thumbing your sensitive nipple, you keened as they hardened beneath his touch. He leaned down a bit more to press his lips against yours. 

You lost yourself against his lips, whimpering and grinding against nothing. Just the fact the man you’d loved for so long was there touching you after years of craving it had your panties soaked. 

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, breaking from the kiss to kiss down your body. 

You trembled beneath him, watching him with rapt attention as he kissed the exposed skin of your stomach and ribs. Sighing, you let him push your shirt over your head to discard off the side of the bed. He leaned forward, enveloping one of the pert buds in his hot mouth, tonguing at it until you were whining and begging him to give attention to the other one. He did so eagerly, providing a stimulating suck before finally pulling away. His lips were swollen and his cheeks were flushed, the very fact you made him that way was dizzying. 

“Wanna taste that perfect cunt too, baby,” he growled, voice losing the soft, sweetness it once held. 

“O-Okay,” you agreed easily, raising your hips so he could tug the last remaining articles off of your body. 

The second you were bare, his hands were pinning your thighs open. His eyes examined every inch of your pussy -- taking in the juices dripping from your clenching hole. 

“You’re so fucking wet,” he groaned, using his thumbs to spread your folds apart, “so pretty too, god. Look at you...you’re perfect. Bet you’re so sweet…”

“Please Toshi…” you whimper, reaching down to tangle your fingers into his hair.

His eyes fluttered at the feeling, allowing you to pull him to your pussy where he eagerly ran his tongue flat between your spread folds. You gasped, eyes slamming shut as he paused to wrap his lips around your clit for just a split second. The teasing touch was addictive and you suddenly wanted more. 

Shinsou understood what it is you wanted and quickly dove back in for more. Circling his tongue around your clit, your back arched. You wanted to close your thighs against the stimulation but his strong hands kept your legs pinned open. 

He swirled his tongue quickly, moaning before enveloping the bud in his hot mouth. You tugged his hair, crying out his name as you felt a high approaching rapidly. He looked so good between your thighs, eating your cunt like you’d dreamed of for ages. 

Suddenly, he pulled away, licking his lips before sitting up.

“Fuck, tell me babygirl,” he breathed, “You gonna let me fuck this pretty cunt?” you nodded, reaching to push his shit up but he stopped you, looking you in the eyes, “Use your words. Tell me.”

“Yes, please fuck me Shinsou!” you begged.

He grinned, pressing a kiss against your lips before stripping himself of his clothes. 

You almost gasped at the sight of his cock. He was big; long and thick. Subconsciously, you clenched your thighs together in anticipation. 

“You ready?” he asked, scooting to sit between your spread legs. 

You tensed up as he prodded your entrance with the fat head of his cock. He realized how tense you were and ran his hand along your thigh to soothe you, “You good? You can back out anytime, darlin’.”

You swallowed thickly, feeling your cheeks heat up as you looked at him through your lashes, “I-It’s just...go slow?”

He frowned, brows drawn together before he backed away from you a bit, “Is this your first time, sweetheart?”

Licking your lips, you hesitated before nodding. Shinsou sighed, hanging his head to rest against your collarbone. You frowned, “I-Is that bad?” you asked. 

Truth was, you never wanted anyone but him. You never had a desire to have sex with anyone but him. You knew he was the one person you’d never regret being with. 

“No!” he sat up, eyes wide before wrapping his hand around the nape of his neck nervously, “I just wish you would have told me sooner...that was almost bad.”

“Why?” you asked,making him chuckle. He shook his head and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Well…” clearing his throat, he looked off to the side bashfully, “My dick’s not exactly the smallest around and since you’re a virgin you could do with...a lot more preparation, you know?”

Your cheeks were ablaze from the bluntness of his words. He didn’t waste another second in bringing his hand to your still wet pussy. 

He sighed, a smile lingering on his lips as he worked his middle finger into your tight hole. Humming, he bit his lip as he slipped his ring finger alongside it. You sighed, eyes fluttering at the mild stretch that came along with it. 

“Feel okay?” he asked softly, working the two fingers in and out of your hole. 

You nodded, “Feels good,” you breathed. 

Your eyes fell closed as he crooked his fingers upwards to touch that sweet spot on top. Your hips jumped at the sensation, ripping a moan from your swollen lips. He smirked, burying the digits deep, licking his lips at the way your juices gushed out from around them. 

With his other hand, he found your clit, circling the bud with his thumb as he worked his index finger into the mix. The added stimulation to your clit made your wall clench tightly and he grunted, imagining what it would feel like around his cock. 

“Please Toshi,” you begged, “I want you already.”

“Thank you’re ready?” he asked, although he already knew the answer. 

And he was right when you whimpered out a pathetic little, “Yes!”

He resumed the position from earlier, his tip pressed against your entrance. It was opened a bit from his three fingers but he knew it was still going to be a tight fit. 

He took your hand in his, lacing your fingers together as he began to sink into your cunt. You whimpered as your walls stretched around him, squeezing his hand. He bottomed out quickly, stilling to let you adjust to being stuffed so full of his thick cock. 

“Does it hurt?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your lips. 

“N-No…” you mumbled, “Just...feels weird.”

He chuckled, kissing your lips again. He could feel you squeezing around him, your cunt unused to having such a big cock inside. The fact he was your first, the one taking your virginity -- tainting your pure body was turning him on more than he ever thought it would. 

He couldn’t even lie and say he’d never taken a cherry before but with you it was different. He felt a sense of pride and possessiveness wash over him; you were his completely. You had given him your heart and your body. 

Burying his face in your neck, he pressed kisses against the sweet spot he easily found there. Grinding his hips against yours, he stirred your insides with his thick length until you were arching your hips to get more of the addictive pleasure only he could bring you. 

He pulled out halfway, slowly sinking his cock back inside with a groan.

“That’s a good girl,” he praised, eyes glued to where your cunt was stretched around him, “Taking me so well, look at that.”

“Feels so good,” you whimpered, clutching the sheets beneath you in your fists.

“Yeah?” he grinned, pulling out so the tip remained only to surge forward and sink his cock into you in one long thrust. Immediately, your back arched and you let out an erotic moan that had his cock throbbing against your walls, “Fuck, my cocks almost too much for you but you’re bein’ such a good girl for me, aren’t you? Taking what I give you...fuck…”

His praise and dirty words went straight to your core. He set a steady pace, making sure to angle his hips up so he could hit your g-spot. The pleasure had your eyes rolling back and you cried out his name every so often, making his heart race. 

“Sound so pretty sayin’ my name…” he groaned, cupping your breasts in his hands as he fucked you, “Pussy’s so tight and wet...I can feel you dripping, you know that? Who would have thought such a pretty cunt could get so messy. But you only get this messy for me, right darlin’?”

“Only you!” you babbled, wrapping your arms around his neck to press your lips against his. He moaned into your mouth, reaching between your bodies to circle your clit, “Fuck! Toshi, y-you’re gonna make me cum!”

“Fuck,” he groaned, “Do it then, sweetheart. Go on, cum on my fucking cock.”

A few more thrusts and circles over your swollen bud had you falling over the edge. Your body trembled and arched beneath him, cunt spasming around him as he worked you dutifully through your orgasm. 

Once you came down, he pulled his hand from your clit and pulled out. You were panting, body limp and relaxed as you let him move you onto your hands and knees. Keeping your face buried in the pillow, you allowed him to maneuver you into the proper position. 

He pressed his hand down on the small of your back, “Arch your back for me, good girl.”

“Th-This is embarrassing, Toshi…” you whispered into the pillow. 

He hummed, gripping his cock to direct himself back into the sweet vice of your cunt, “No reason to be embarrassed, kitten. It’s just me...you can trust me.”

“I-I know...but still…” you whimpered, eyes fluttering as he sunk his cock deep inside. The position allowed him to reach a new depth. 

“Do you want to stop?” he asked softly, running his hand along your spin. 

You hesitated for a second, focusing on the pleasurable sensation of being filled so completely before shaking your head. He grinned, leaning down to kiss your shoulder blade, “Good girl.”

The praise went to your head and you suddenly had a desire to receive more. You wanted to be good for him -- be his good girl. 

You lifted your head from the pillow and cried out his name, fucking yourself back against his cock. He grinned, slapping your ass lighter than he usually would do it -- he wasn’t sure how you would take to it. When he felt you clench around him in response, he grinned. That was something worth looking into it seemed. 

“Toshi…” you whined, reaching back to grip at his hip.

He hummed, slowing ever so slightly, “What is it, kitten?”

“Please…” you whined, feeling your cheeks flush with embarrassment over what you desperately wanted to ask him.

“Please what?” he whispered, kissing your shoulder blade again, “Tell me what you need, baby.”

“C-Call me...y-your goog girl again…” you whispered, immediately burying your face in your pillow. 

He paused, eyes wide before another grin grew across his face. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he pulled you up until your back was pressed against his chest. You cried out, his cock stilling inside you as he pressed his lips against your ear.

“You like being praised huh?” he asked, chuckling when you nodded, leaning your head back to rest on his shoulder. He enjoyed the fucked out look on your face, “Like being my good girl, hm? Such a pretty, sweet girl for me…”

You whimpered, walls clenching around his still cock, “I-I love you Toshi…”

He hummed, reaching down to find your clit. Circling over the bud, you keened, eyes fluttering as your cunt clenched tight around him, “I know you do, sweetheart.”

Suddenly, your walls squeezed, clamping down tight. He groaned, cursing under his breath as he felt your body seize up in your orgasm, trembling and gushing around his cock. He pressed his lips against your shoulder, looking down to where his length was buried completely inside. 

You began to rock yourself along his cock, your orgasm flying to new heights as he never stopped playing with your sensitive bud. 

Suddenly, he watched with wide eyes as your cum squirted out, soaking the bed and your thighs. 

“Shit,” he growled, providing a few quick slaps against your clit, making you squirt just a few more times, “What a good fucking girl you are. Look at the mess you made. You’re so perfect, I love you so much.”

Those words had you clenching once again. That finally sent him over the edge himself. He rocked into you, holding you tight against him. His cock throbbed, spitting hot cum into your sensitive cunt. 

He cupped your breasts, groaning in the throes of his orgasm as he pressed kisses against your shoulder, neck, and cheek. 

When he finally came down, he gently laid you on the bed, pulling his cock out. His cum gushed from your hole without his length to stop it. You cringed, the feeling unpleasant to say the least. 

He got out of bed to go to the bathroom intending to get a cloth to clean you with. 

When he was gone, you found yourself thinking about what just happened. One particular thought was on your mind and when he returned, you didn’t hesitate to voice it.

“W-We didn’t use a condom…” you mumbled. 

He hummed, “Were we supposed to? I thought you were on birth control.”

“I am...it’s just…” you frowned, clearing your throat as you watched him wiped your thighs and sensitive folds free of your mixed cum.

“What?” he sat beside you, fixing you with a steady gaze, urging you to confess your thoughts to him. 

“You were just...dating, you know...Aoi and…” you sighed, averting your gaze from him, “Other girls before.”

He chuckled, laying beside you, “What, you’re concerned I have something?”

“Well no...not necessarily…” you frowned as he cupped your cheek, making you look at him.

“If you must know…” he shrugged before continuing, “I always used a condom with them.”

“Really?” he nodded at your question, “Then...why with me?”

“Because you’re you,” he smiled, kissing your lips, pulling you to lay against his chest, “You’re the one for me, kitten. That’s all you need to worry about.”

Yes, Hitoshi Shinsou fell in love easily. But he never gave those girls his heart. He cried because he thought he could never have you. The truth was, you had always owned his heart. It had always been in your hands. 

[nutty1005]

Marvelous City – Chongqing Special

Video Link: https://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNTA2NzMzODYxNg==.html

Translator’s Note: This is translated off the Marvelous City - Chongqing Special Episode. I wrote it in an article form because of video copyrights issues. This documentary was filmed early 2020, but only aired recently. Xiao Zhan’s episode aired on 12 Jan, this special episode aired on 17 Jan.

Q: What difference do you feel returning to Chongqing this time round?

A: Actually for all my years, I’ve never seriously experienced Chongqing like this. Because when you’re living within it, you will not jump to an outsider’s point of view and deliberately observe places, scenery and food. I grew up with Chongqing and it’s melded within me, hence this time I came back, including the air raid shelters, the local delicacies, or the Xiao Mian, I have a new understanding and knowledge of them. The feeling in my heart is different as well.

Q: What are your biggest takeaway from this visit?

A: As a Chongqinger who has grown up and lived twenty odd years in Chongqing, I realized my understanding of the air raids shelters, I originally thought they were just shelters. But after my discussion with Mr. Xiang, I discovered that there were many stories regarding them. Yesterday, he spoke of an example, an elder he interviewed, and that elder told him that during those years, once there was an alarm, he was actually secretly happy. He would watch for the shelter the lady he liked ran into, and he would follow that lady to that shelter. So you see, it’s that sort of finding joy in their chaotic lives. I feel that that is, very accurately, the description of Chongqingers’ optimism. But actually, it’s easy to say that we would feel like that – since we have to live every day, living a day happily versus living a day miserably, why should we not live happily. But few are able to do that, moreover in such a chaotic environment. So when he told me those stories yesterday, I felt especially touched. I was quite moved, actually.

Q: How was the experience when you previously rode the light rail?

A: The line for Niujiaotuo was especially interesting. To walk from Rail Line 3 to Rail Line 2, it took 15 minutes. If the person in front of you walked especially slowly, plus everyone was going to work in the morning, it’s just shoulder to shoulder crowded. Basically, even if you wanted to run, you couldn’t, you could only push your way through and then run forward. That period was especially weird. I was thinking, why weren’t these ladies and gentlemen in a hurry, then I’d be “excuse me excuse me”, push through them and run forward, then start queuing.

Rail Line 2 would come, because it was suspended between bridges, when the glass door opens you’d have to squeeze your way in, and there would be some situations, like some people with their bags stuck outside, their slipper stuck outside, and then all kinds of stuff, sometimes even their breakfast would be stuck outside. Then there’s like burst soy bean drinks, there’s a lot of situations like this, and actually below Rail Line 2, there was a huge safety net. The net was there because they were afraid of falling objects from great heights, and these might fall and hit someone below. So sometimes, well sometimes in the summer, I would see that there’s some ridiculous things piling on the net, someone’s slipper, belt, bag or umbrella, etc. I don’t know if it’s still there, I guess they would clean it regularly. But I felt that this was especially funny, funny and sad at the same time. I mean who would want to squeeze with people early in the morning, you’d be squeezed half dead, everyone would be angry, and you’d argue in the morning.

But you couldn’t help it, it’s for livelihood, hence that time when I saw that there were many reports saying “it’s so tough, this year is so tough on me”, but then I also felt that actually everyone had it tough. I feel that everyone is moving forward while trying to live, actually we’re like a battalion, and we are all being pushed forward by our lives. We’re already at 2020 and every single day before was tough, it’s all tough, so I feel that we just have to manage and adjust. I feel that our attitudes need to be managed well.

I remember that time, I was squeezed so badly that I was plastered onto the glass door. That glass door, I was literally stuck onto it, and then when I looked down at the Jialing River, because the Rail Line 2 was suspended over it, I just looked at the Jialing River below and thought, actually that scenery was rather pretty. So, I’d just watch the scenery, and when you start to carefully observe, you would feel that it’s actually quite beautiful. In the mornings, there would be elders swimming in the winter, and then there’d be some reefs, because I recall that it’d be dry season during the winter, the water levels would go down and hence the waters would also become somewhat clearer. Jialing River, with those oddly shaped reefs, and then there was all kinds of people fishing, jogging alongside. What also attracted me was the windows, they looked like film, frame by frame, and the windows on the light rail were also frame by frame. And then after night falls, because the light rail was built along the river, the night view by the river, those lights and those skyscrapers would be varicolored, just like a movie.

Q: What do you like about Chongqing?

A: I like its summer and I also like its winter. There’s two sensations, the summer’s passionate like fire, whereas the winter, and you’d feel that the chill seeps into your bones, just you’d feel hurt magically. Hotpot, Xiao Mian, spicy diced chicken, peppercorn chicken, there’s too many of them, I love them all. Double-cooked pork… I feel that these food are something engraved in your bones since childhood. When you mention those food, your mouth instinctively salivates. I already have the taste of peppercorn chicken in my mouth, it’s strange, but I haven’t had peppercorn chicken for a very long time, but now I am just… *swallows saliva*

Q: What is the Chongqing delicacy of your heart?

A: There’s no need to say. I used to go to this noodle stall in the past. It didn’t have a name, it’s just an aunty, and that aunty is especially nice. Because every time I went there I would tell her, aunty, for example I wanted to eat wontons, we call them Chao Shou, I’d say, “Aunty I want less wontons more vegetables”, and then the aunty would put in a lot of vegetables, but she didn’t really remove that many wontons. Every time I went there I don’t have to give her my order, I’d say “the same old”, and she’d know exactly what to make, just put more vegetables inside. So sometimes, I’d just watch her cook, and while watching her busy around, you’d feel especially warm in your heart. It’s just a stall, but every neighbor would be eating there, and they’d be eating there for decades, their children and even grand children would be eating there as well. Slowly, the stall would became a part of their emotional support, like maybe I won’t eat this noodles today, or perhaps she didn’t open today, it would became a kind of concern for that person. Eventually, it’s no longer a matter of a bowl of Xiao Mian, but a habit of life, an emotional interaction. I feel that this is the power of Chongqing delicacies in my heart.

Q: How was your childhood like?

Actually when you talk about my childhood, I really liked the environment I lived in when I was really young. Sometimes I would dream and I often dreamed of that period. When I was young, the early 90s era, multimedia wasn’t as advanced, there were no mobile phones or computers. There were probably arcade centers during that period of time, those that you needed to slot in coins, but children weren’t allowed to go, we had to sneak in. But mostly, it was our neighbors.

As a child, once we finish our homework, we could go downstairs and yell out “So-and-so, come down quickly”, and with a whoosh, all the children in the district would come down. Everyone would play hide-and-seek and then beanbag toss (TN: similar to cornhole), just all kinds of board games, any sort will do. All of these games are interactive. I still remember the shop on the first floor downstairs from my home, he modified the shop to become a snack stop, and all of the kids would buy snacks from him. I remember that real fresh milk was delivered on a bicycle, everyday freshly squeezed, and we would collect from him using our own bags or buckets. It’s just especially down-to-earth. I remember that time at around 5pm or 6pm,you’d hear yelling, as in that sort “selling milk” (TN: in Chongqing accent) and those fat sausages. Over there, fat sausages (TN: in Chongqing accent), all these kinds of finger food, you know? Wow, I miss those days.

And during that period, the smells of cooking would fill up the entire district, whether by mothers or grandmothers, they’d be cooking and the whole district would permeate with delicious smells. It was just especially wonderful, I feel that that period was really down-to-earth, everyone was especially vivid. Actually, I feel that our lives now are a bit cold, just a bit cold. Then, we would know all of our neighbors, but now, I doubt that we understand our neighbors well.

Q: What do you think of the phrase “pa erduo”? (TN: henpecked, literally means to be pulled by the ear)

Pa erduo (TN: In Chongqing accent), it means that the person’s ear is especially soft. It used to mean that the man is some kind of a loser, but I feel that now, this phrase is adorable. I feel that it’s a compliment, it means that Chongqing men treat their wives well, it’s a display of love for their wives, so I feel that it’s adorable. When I’m out, I am upright and indomitable, I can be your pillar of support, but when I’m back home, I will dote on you fully. I feel that it’s especially good, my father is like this. My father is especially cute sometimes, oh dear, I’m going to betray my father. He is especially cute, he would often tell my mother to let him maintain some dignity when they’re out, just especially cute. I feel that as a couple, they are quite good, just very standard, in my eyes, they are the standard Chongqing couple. Because actually my mother doesn’t talk a lot outside, she listens to whatever my father says, but once we are back home, my dad will give in to my mother most of the time.

Q: What is your relationship with your hometown?

To me, I feel that I am just very proud of her, she’s my pride. Maybe there are some youths, actually I was the same when I was a teenager, I thought about whether I should leave Chongqing to a bigger city. At that time, everyone was talking about Bei-Shang-Guang (TN: Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou), and I thought about whether I wanted to take a look there, for example design, obviously Bei-Shang-Guang is the forefront of China, spearheading. I thought about it as well, whether I should go and take a look, but when I was studying in the university, and then after I graduated, to me, I was slowly adjusting to the life in Chongqing, so I feel this differs from person to person. Hence at that time I felt that it was also quite fine remaining in Chongqing. If I can’t attain a top leader position outside, or become a highflier, then why shouldn’t I just stay grounded and do well in my own hometown? Actually those were my thoughts at that time, but as fate has it, I still left Chongqing. So I feel this is really just fate, just something mysterious. Now that there’s so much skyscrapers in Chongqing, so many office buildings, so many of them graded 5A, there are so many youths working in there, fighting for their dreams. There may be some people who doesn’t like it, some may be forced to work by their families, or the job was found for them by a relative, but I believe that most youths have an ambitious heart, and they want to fulfill the dreams they had when they were studying, their endeavors, and they are just fighting for their ideals. I feel that every city has its own charm, and Chongqing charm lies in the fact that it’s vivid. It’s very lively, it’s a young city, and everyone is fighting, for their lives, for their ambitions. She is a very lively city.

Q: Do you think you have the tenacity of a Chongqinger?

A: Very tenacious. I feel that I am a very tenacious person. Just when I encounter things, like I’ve lived in Chongqing for 23 years, well-adjusted to the living and working environment of Chongqing, and then suddenly I went to Beijing, to the entertainment business. It’s just worlds apart, two entirely different living environments. And truth be told, that period of time was quite tough. Whether it was singing, dancing or acting, to me those were all brand new things, but at that time I felt, since I’m already here, then I must do it well with all of my efforts. No matter how tough or how difficult, those were my choices, even if I had to crawl I had to finish the journey, that’s how I felt.

[melodythefab]

An Interview with Inferno~

50 Character Builder Questions for your Tabletop Character by Ginny Di

Are you a morning person or more of a night owl?

I am much more of a morning person. I like to wake up early, to start moving as the sun rises and feel sunlight on my skin and feel the rest of the world waking up with me.

What’s the first thing you notice about a person when you meet them?

The way they stand. Do they stand proud? Or do they seem like they have something to hide? Are they fidgeting with something? Do they look comfortable or nervous?

You see a huge spider in your room. What do you do?

Catch it and let it out. I don’t want to kill an innocent creature.

If you could go back and change one decision you made in the past, what would you change?

I would change how I didn’t go to Greenwich sooner. Maybe I’d have met Shortiss, Todd, and Cochann sooner. I was fine, of course, so were they, but I wonder what might’ve happened.

Tell me about your first kiss.

*deadpan* no.

Do you give people second chances?

Of course. I believe there is good in everyone, but also that everyone has a capacity to do evil. We must work with each other to bring the light out in ourselves and others.

Except for Todd. He receives no sympathy from me.

Are you a cat person or a dog person?

Dogs ☺️

Do you think you’re attractive?

By Genasi standards or human ones? I wouldn’t say so, probably, but Basil complimented my muscles the other day, so perhaps? (Me: baby that was for a Bardic no-)

What’s your worst habit?

Letting Todd make any decision with consequences.

(It’s hair upkeep. It might be made of fire, Inferno, but you still have to take care of it).

When was the last time you cried?

It- it’s been a while. I won’t lie, I teared up fighting those black dragons about a month ago, but I also almost died, so I believe I had good reason.

But the last time I really cried- Probably the time I realized I can’t save everyone all the time. That still weighs heavily on me. I’ve come to accept it now, to some extent, but I still wish I could.

Are you a good liar?

In theory, yes. In practice, no. (Read: high charisma, but I always get shitty rolls)

What’s your biggest pet peeve?

Being Todd.

Ok, but really. I’m not sure if this counts as a pet peeve or not, but having a general disregard for the welfare of others.

Have you ever had your heart broken?

In the sense that this is asking? No. However, when we found the Sword of Tyr (I’m pretty sure it’s a homebrew weapon our DM made for her. Basically she has to prove herself worthy to the sword to unlock its full potential.) and I realized that for some reason, I’m not considered worthy by Tyr yet, I’m fairly sure that’s what heartbreak feels like.

It’s okay, though. I’m fine. I just need to do better. I won’t give up.

Are you more likely to use your fists or your words in an argument?

Words first, but then, swords are a fantastic backup option.

What’s something you’re naturally good at?

I’m pretty naturally good at healing. Of course, having Lay on Hands and Cure Wounds helps, but I’m usually pretty good at patching up my friends.

What’s something you had to work hard to be good at?

I have to work really hard to be even remotely passable in anything dexterous. You’d think a warrior like myself would be able to handle a slippery floor or even just hopping into a Bag of Holding, but those are both things that have felled me when my enemies have failed to. (Poor baby has a -2 modifier and I roll really bad for every single Dex check.)

Can you tell when someone is flirting with you?

Absolutely not. Honestly, that entire realm, romance and affection, are just entirely beyond me.

Do you think money can buy happiness?

No. Money can supply temporary happiness. Drinks at the tavern, fancy homes, that sort of thing. But real happiness- at one point, I wasn’t sure it really existed outside of fairy tales. But now I know that true happiness is found in those around you. Shortiss, Cochann, Todd, and even our two additions, Ember and Basil, they’ve all helped me realize that I need my friends just as much as they need me. I don’t think they know it, but I’d throw myself in front of a million dragons if it meant they were safe. They’ve changed my life, and I am forever grateful.

Do you believe in destiny?

Yes. Everyone has a destiny. Life is an ever-winding road leading you there. It’s impossible to avoid, but really, why would you? Destiny is what you were meant to do. Your destiny will see you at your very strongest and push you into greatness. One day I know I’ll reach mine. Until then, I’ll just get stronger and keep growing.

Are you a good cook?

I’m literally made of fire. Everything burns.

Surprisingly enough, though, Ember’s not a bad cook.

What do you think happens after you die?

Well, valiant warriors, those who give their lives for others and would fight ‘til their dying breath, those people go to Valhalla or Folkvangr to dine with the gods and prepare for Ragnarok. For others, Hel most likely awaits.

Did you have to grow up fast?

No. I was blessed with a good father and a good station. I was always mature for my age, but I know that’s not nearly the same thing.

Who do you look up to?

I’m not sure I really look up to anyone. I must carve my own path in this world.

When you go to a tavern, what do you order?

Usually something light, or nothing at all. Todd drinks enough for all of us.

What do you like most about yourself?

I’m persistent as hell. I’m also pretty hard to kill.

What do you like least about yourself?

Sometimes I get caught up and lose myself in my own competitive drive, and it causes me to lose my good judgement. *grins* I blame Cochann. He’s a bad influence. (She doesn’t really blame him. He is, however, a bad influence. Only sometimes, though.)

Are you a planner, or more spontaneous?

Spontaneous. If I make plans, I make them in the moment.

Can you keep a secret?

Absolutely.

Do you like being the center of attention?

Not usually. I tend to stay towards the back of most situations with Shortiss. Basil is far more fit for the attention, anyways.

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?

I wouldn’t do a single thing different. If I’m destined to die, I’ll go down fighting.

Do you enjoy getting all dressed up for a special occasion?

Not really, but polishing my armor and sharpening my blades gives me a similar feeling, I think.

Where do you feel safe?

With my friends. Sure, they can be annoying, but I know nobody has my back like they do. *laughs* Yes, even Todd.

Do you love or hate being alone?

At one point, I probably would’ve said I love it, but now I can’t imagine being without my friends.

What’s the last nightmare you remember having?

Well, I have horrific nightmares about what will happen if the Cult of the Dragons succeeds exactly every fifth night. That is what drove me to this quest anyways.

Do you admit to mistakes when you make them?

I try to.

Do you want to grow up to be like your parents?

No. My father was a good man, but I have my own destiny.

How do you deal with being sick? Are you stoic, or super whiny?

I legitimately cannot get sick.

What did your parents expect from you when you were born?

My father didn’t truly expect much from me. He always just told me I should strive to be good and do good.

Do you have a strong sense of style?

Fighting style, yes.

Would you rather camp outdoors or stay the night in an inn?

Depends. How good is the inn? What’s the weather like? I refuse to sleep in the rain. It messes with my hair. (We’ve decided she’s like a charmander and if the flame goes out, she, like, dies. Maybe not completely but Bad Stuff happens.)

Is there a food that most people like that you absolutely hate?

I’m pretty tolerable of most foods.

Are you more of a hoarder or a minimalist?

Minimalist. I don’t carry much.

Are you superstitious?

No. (Yes.)

Are you the kind of person who remembers people’s birthdays and pets’ names and stuff?

Absolutely. My mind is an iron lock. (No it’s not. She tries, though.)

What do you do to feel better when you’re sad?

I go to my friends. They always know how to cheer me up. Maybe some friendly competition with Cochann, sitting and chatting with Shortiss or Ember, or doing whatever the hell it is Basil and Todd normally do.

Is it hard for you to trust someone?

Not really. Unless it looks like they’ve got something to hide.

Are you susceptible to peer pressure?

No. Well, not on the things that matter.

If you decided to stop adventuring and settle down, what kind of job would you take?

I’m not sure. I would probably want to be a healer. Maybe find a village to protect. Honestly, though, I cannot see myself giving up this life. I’ve sworn an oath to Tyr. Every day must be spent making sure I follow through.

As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Truthfully, this. I wanted to be a noble adventurer who helped the innocent and did good deeds. I think if, back then, I’d known one day I’d slay a real dragon, well, I probably would’ve exploded from pure excitement.

[girlbookwrm]

i can’t believe i’m doing this

@jhscdood​ listen i got No Time to write the fics for this right now, but have some Fellowship of the Pod People (but not like that) Headcanons.

@ all of the rest of you, please for Eru’s sake help yourselves: literally nothing would make me happier than to have someone else write this shit so i could read it like the lazy asshole i am.

None of this will make a DAMN LICK OF SENSE if you aren’t familiar with the Not Your Mama’s ABO Clownfish AU that @silentwalrus1​ created with @skellerbvvt​ and @galwednesday​ in the Magnificently Weird MCU Stucky Gem Scents & Sensibility 

shit this got hella long don’t look at me but please all feel free to correct/expand/modify because I just whipped these off to decompress after a long day

The Númenóreans are responsible for all that “reef” “pod” and assorted “fishy” terminology, so while “pod” “reef” etc may be the accepted academic names, they’re often replaced with local variants and colloquialisms. The Númenóreans picked this linguistic quirk up from the sea-obsessed Noldor elves, so it’s sometimes used in Rivendell and Lothlorien too.

(The Sindar elves fucking hate that)

(Sindar use bee euphemisms instead. It’s all “hives” and “skeps” etc etc etc. Try to tell me Thranduil isn’t a Queen Bee. I FUCKIN DARE U. The wine is all honey mead. Hex honeycomb aesthetic for the win. Even the dungeons.)

(FYI Dwarves ALSO have a Hexagonal Aesthetic and that just Really Gets Thranduil’s Goat.)

everyone’s got their own local names for alphas and omegas too because seriously who fucking came up with that, i bet there’s a whole appendix at the end of the red book about terminology and shit

(Now I’m having meta thoughts about linguistics and there being a clownfish!Tolkien to go with the clownfish!Middle Earth. And now I’m thinking about the Inklings being a pod and if i follow THAT rabbit hole any further I’ll fu cki ng  AS C E N DHJKfghjk.)

Anyway

Men smell gross. Everyone else is agreed upon this. Unflattering comparisons to badgers and weasels have been made.

This makes “MANFLESH” 12000% more hilarious ur welcome

it’s funny cuz Men are big into perfumes. Incense! Herb Sachets! Oils and tinctures! Have you ever seen a olde tyme perfumers’ box? That kinda shit. Everyone has their Signature Smell.

but elves especially are like you still smell like man stop trying to hide it.

The Dúnedain embrace The Musk. (some have fully weaponized it)

this is very important: Aragorn Smells Amazing. (to be clear, still very Man Smelling, but awesome. first time he goes all I AM UR KING everyone in the throne room goes a little glassy eyed.)

Minas Tirith, being old, is very Old Numenorean Oceanic Aesthetic. Give me all that white stone carved to look like coral and driftwood holy shit YES. 

WHITE! TREE!! GARDEN!!! 

ATHELAS!!!! SCENTED!!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!!! (pairs well with lemon and other citrus smells.)

veering away from Gondor now

The Rohirrim stick with horse metaphors because of course they fucking do. Also, since they’re more nomadic, the entire concept of a “reef” as in a physical structure is kind of ??????? to them. So. “Reefs” = “herds” and “pods” = “bands.” 

Fresh Hay is considered to be Peak Homely Smell in Edoras. Tapestries! Only The Softest and Nicest and Most Beautifully Tooled leather! leather smells!

OH SHIT GIVE ME ALPHA-FOR-LIFE-EOWYN MEETING FOREVER!OMEGA FARAMIR *HEAVY BREATHING*

(oh shit while we’re in the neighborhood, Dúnedain Rangers tend to be solitary As, which spooks the natives like whoa, but the Ithilien Rangers are generally O, and their waterfall hideout is totes a big ole reef.)

hang on i forgot about elves

Listen, I’m not super into elves myself but I’m imagining that they are perpetually switching back and forth between A and O depending on the day — nay, the HOUR — and the extremes between A and O are much less extreme for them than other races.

Every other race finds this super weird and disturbing.

Legolas is like “hm this forest is making me feel very O.” And Aragorn and Gimli are just like ‘what’ and then suddenly Leggy smells very O too and Aragorn and Gimli are like ‘WHAT’

Feänor is the exception. He turned the dial all the way to A and broke the goddamn knob off.

Galadriel can go from Maximum Softe O to Roid Rage A in .0004 seconds. “iiiinstead of a dark lord yyYYOU WOULD HAVE A QUEEEEEEN!!!1!” and the Hobbits are literally bowled over.

Elves in general smell woody but also very ocean-y i think? Have you ever stood in a pine forest by the ocean, where you get those light, clean wood and cedar and pine smells all shot through with sea breeze? Like That.

But elves are more into visual/audio. Soft singing. Leaves moving in the breeze. The whisper of pages in a library. 

and the light. Elves are lighting wizards, they are all about that gentle starglow.

(I’m also having thoughts about the Lothlorien Elves embracing that A-ish urge to be Up High. A holdover from Galadriel’s time with the feanoreans? I'm not as up on silm lore as I should be)

but let’s get back to my happy place: 

THE MUTHAFUCKIN SHIIIIIIIIRE

Hobbits really embrace dat sweet sweet O lifestyle. good food and warm hearths. throw blankets and pillows. hugging and cuddle puddles and playing footsie. gardens. Gardens. G A R D E N S. 

“Going A” is done as rarely as possible. the transition takes about a month and Hobbits who are “going A” tend to call in sick like it’s some unsightly thing. 

Tooks have an unusually high rate of going A. Of course they do.

Bilbo has never gone A. Not! Once!

Neither has Frodo.

Sam did, after the breaking of the Fellowship. Merry and Pippin did, in Fangorn, when they grew six inches. The three of them all stayed A after that, for the most part. YES EVEN SAMWISE. it was v scandalous.

Hobbit “reefs” are called “warrens” (unless ur rich, then they’re Smials and they’re Only For Family) and their “pods” are “nests.” “Nesting” is a whole Thing.

Hobbits! Smell! Like! Baked! Goods! Not sweet but like… warm. Humans sometimes turn their noses up and call it a “yeasty” or “beery” smell but it’s usually much more a rising-bread smell. Pipeweed smoke and sweet florals make a nice contrast to the perpetual bakery window smell.

Hobbits are very mouth/taste/chew oriented. Mouthfeel is a Big Deal. Recipe Books are Heirlooms. Courting is frequently Food/Drink Oriented.

Rosie Cotton brews the finest ale in all the land and she did that for the express purpose of seducing Samwise Gamgee

He Did Not Realize.

Courting that is not food/drink oriented is Flower/Plant oriented.

Sam Gamgee became the finest gardener in all the land in the desperate hope of wooing Mr. Frodo.

He Did Not Realize.

Everyone Else Realized. Merry and Pippin especially considered it Peak Comedy.

(they eventually worked it out.)

last but not least:

there’s just no way around it. Dwarves smell like dirt. nice dirt tho! Petrichor and stone with hints of copper and metals. Smoke smells. Rich spice smells. Eau de forge is considered a particularly desirable perfume. Dwarves don’t particularly notice smell though (for reasons that will become apparent) when it comes to Softe Things they’re much more about dem sweet sweet sparklies, and fur, and being super fucking tactile.

Dwarves are SUPER into haircare, like, every night the Company of Thorin makes a braid circle and exchanges hair beads. 

(elves are also super into hair care. this too really Gets Tharanduil’s Goat)

Dwarf social structure is like… hobbits in reverse. They tend to default to A status, hence their general rowdiness but with strict codes of conduct to help manage conflict. They’re just these huge roving groups of A’s just rough-and-tumbling around their one O. dogpiles are peak pod bonding. aaaaand the alpha reek kind of tends to make them all a little noseblind.

Poor Bilbo.

Lucky, Lucky Bilbo.

But also poor, poor Bilbo.

Most dwarf Royals go O, but Thorin hadn’t been O since he was 24 and got chased out of Erebor by that pesky dragon.

Dwarf “reefs” and “pods” have their own terms in Khuzdul that do not translate well but have to do with crystal growth. Rough translations are “lattices” and “cells” (Hence the hexagon aesthetic)

Wizards Have No Designation. They Smell Like Gunpowder and Lightning. It Is Very Disturbing For Everyone Around Them.

A

N

Y

W

A

Y

Give me EveryoneLives!au Hobbit stuff. Bilbo trying to homely up the lonely mountain! Thorin going O and chilling the fuck out as a result! 

Give me fellowship!pod!! Aragorn is the diplomat! Pippin is the wild child! Gimli is the Adventurer! Frodo is the peacekeeper! Boromir is the den mother!

How Much More Heartrending is the Breaking of the Fellowship if the fellowship was a pod????

and then you’ve got the fractured podlings: Merry and Pippin bonding hard with their new Rohan and Gondor stress-pods. Sam going A to protect Frodo from Gollum while Frodo tries to adopt this weird frog into their pod. The Three Hunters as Nick, Nora and Nelson (Gimli is Nick, Leggy is Nora, Aragorn is Nelson.)

Give me post-war Legolas and Aragorn and Gimli (and Arwen too) breaking cultural boundaries and proving that yes! Interracial Pods Can Work! these differences are cultural, and cultures can be melded! nothing wrong with this! if half-elves exist and can have kids of their own, then elves and men are not separate species, and I’d bet a significant limb that the same is true of all the other races so

GIVE IT TO ME

ok i gotta stop now.

...

yeah there’s probably a star trek one of these coming too

kill me

(And hey jhscdood I’m not saying you have to come back at me with more lotr clownfish or ocean’s 11/Star Wars/M*A*S*H/Leverage/West Wing/whatever clownfish But I would certainly consider it a Fair Exchange if you did. MORE INSTITUTIONALIZED SOFTISM. MAXIMUM SOFT FISH FRIENDS.)

[allisonilluminated]

The Seven Sins of Fanfiction

Hey all,

This blog is primarily focused on helping newer writers (and maybe some older ones) improve their fanfiction and increase their views.  Since that’s the case, it’s important to understand exactly what not to do when you’re writing.

These are the worst things you can do while you’re writing.  I can guarantee everyone reading this post has done at least three of them, and probably all in some shape of form.  This is the sort of thing that makes you want to click away immediately, that you cringe at when it’s in the first paragraph or laugh at how bad it is.  These things that make you stop reading other stories, just think about it for a moment.  What if fewer people are reading your own work because you’re making the same mistakes?

Yeah.  If you want to improve, you gotta know what you’re doing wrong.  Number Seven is the least worst, then the list descends to Number One, the worst thing you can do in fanfiction.

Note: This is a subjective list.  There are people who disagree with some of these points (especially the non-grammar ones), so it’s important to remember that these are the things I find most degrading to the quality of the story being written.  As a writer, you have the creative liberty to write whatever you want.

#7 – Bad Romance

“Wo-o-o-o-o, o-o-o-o, o-o-ah, caught in a bad romance fanfiction but it’s the only 100k fic for my OTP so I’m like contractually obligated to read it.” - Lady Gaga, mostly

We’ve all been here.  You know that moment when two characters meet, then suddenly decide to kiss, and the next thing you know they’re screwing on the patio with some kinky ass BDSM shit.  What about those cringe fics where suddenly Harry is spouting some creepy possessive stuff like “my only” or “softest light of my life” to twelve year old Ginny.  You know what I’m talking about.

Good romance is an art.  It’s about flawed characters (later) coming together in a beautifully intimate way (later) to make something even more beautiful.  There is so much bad romance on FFN and AO3 that it just blows my mind.

Giving tips would take an entire post, so here’s a good article on the absolute basics you need to write a good romance: https://www.nownovel.com/blog/romance-writing-mistakes/

#6 – Bad Dialogue Tags

“No!” he howled.

“Yes,” she growled angrily.

She retorted snarkily, “Well, screw you.”

“Fuck you too,” he scowled sadly, before gratingly mumbling “I still love you though.”

Alternatively:

“No!” “Yes.”  “Well, screw you.”  “Fuck you too.  I still love you though.”

There’s a glorious word in this social construct we call English, and it’s “said.”  Use it.

You don’t need a fancy word for every tag.  You don’t need a fancy word for almost all tags.  Eighty percent of your tags should be said, exclaimed, and asked, and more of said than the others.  Maybe a whispered or a yelled for some flavor.

Adverbs are your enemies.  I struggle with this, but you should use them extremely sparingly.

On the flipside, if your reader doesn’t know who’s talking, your dialogue is meaningless to them.  Also, use line breaks every time there is a new speaker.

The trick is finding some happy medium between the two examples.  A handful of fancy tags, a lot of said, and if there are two people talking back and forth you don’t even need to tag every sentence.

#5 – Bad Messaging

I don’t want to put down an example for this one, because I think writers feel liberated to write some really awful shit in fanfiction because it’s “not a serious medium” or “it’s the internet, I have free speech.”  Let me say this right now:

Stories that make rape a positive thing are not okay.  Stories that portray suicide in a glorified light are not okay.  Stories that show slavery, or torture, or all of the other horrendous things human beings do to each other in a romanticized or glorified manner are not okay.

I don’t care if it’s your fetish.  I don’t care, it’s just not okay to write about these things in a positive light.  The only reason this is so high on this list is because these stories aren’t as common as the rest, and are mostly marked M/Explicit so you can avoid them.

#4 – Overdescription

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). [[I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow – My Immortal

Oh boy.

Writers, let me introduce you to this wonderful thing called your profile.  Assuming you aren’t drowning in copypastas, this is the perfect place for your character descriptions.  Alternatively, have you heard of Tumblr? Literally, stick them anywhere except the middle of your story, and I can guarantee you the readers that actually care will find them if you mention them in your A/N.

Show, don’t tell is one of the fundamental principles of writing. When you’re describing a character, you probably don’t need more than three adjectives and a one sentence description of their outfit. Yes, that applies even if your character has a special non canon outfit.  If we must know, work the details into the story. Info-dumping description is telling, and is one of the worst world building and characterization mistakes you can make.  Period.

#3 – Epithets

The blond girl walked to the door, and started as a burly man opened it.  “May I help you?”

“Yes, I’m here to get a consultation,” the graying businessman said as he ran a hand through his oily hair.

The youthful therapist nodded as she shut the door behind him. Rummaging on her desk, she asked, “Why are you here?”

“Well,” said the jaded economist to the buxom woman.  “This author thinks they’re being clever by not giving out names, but they’re ruining this story.”

The best way to get someone to leave your story is epithets.  

Epithets do not create mystery.  Epithets are not a good substitute for proper nouns.  Epithets will not make a clever opening, or add variety to your dialogue.

Epithets will ruin your story, and should not be used.

They come in varying degrees of horror.

The noun.  You might be able to get away with saying just “the woman” or “the child” under certain circumstances. This is almost an excusable offence.

The noun with one adjective.  This is already unacceptable. If you though you were going to solve Sin #4 by doing this, you’re digging yourself an even deeper hole.

The noun with one modified adjective.  Because they can’t just be sexy, they have to be shockingly sexy.

The noun with multiple adjectives.  This is automatically overdescription on top of being a horrible thing to subject another person to.

The noun followed by a relative clause.  Because there’s always a way to make it worse.  “The girl who was now holding his hand” is absolutely disgusting, and so is “The girl that was sitting across from her” or especially “the girl she knew had a chocolate bar somewhere in her pocket.

The noun followed by a relative clause with adjectives.  Put it together and what have you got?

Compound Epithets.  Oh. My.  God.  This deserves its own sin.  Even if your character has blue hair, you should never ever ever call them a bluenette.  Ever.  Ever ever ever. AAAAAAAAH!

The author has made her point.

#2 – Bad Grammar

I find bad grammar extremely agitating, mostly because there are a lot of great tools and easy fixes to solve the problems.  Most word processors have a built in spell checker, and a lot of them check for grammar as well.  If you need an alternative, grammarly.com has a good free version that’ll catch a lot of mistakes.  Of course, proofreading your work before posting is always a great idea.  Here’s a quick list of some of the most common grammar issues you should be on the lookout for:

A new paragraph for a new idea.

A new paragraph for a new speaker.

Dialogue formatting

Periods

Commas

Run on sentences

Using line breaks

Spelling

Capitalizing starts of sentences

Capitalizing proper nouns

Choosing CONSISTENT capitalization for canon terms (Pokemon vs pokemon, for example)

Repeated words.

Sentence fragments

Tense

#1 – Bad Characterization

“What?” you’re probably asking yourself right now.  “How is bad characterization possibly worse than poor grammar?  Than epithets?”

Allow me to explain.

When an author writes a story, a good story, they are creating characters who act like people.  They have wants, needs, hates, motives, and a concept of who they are, even if they’re only fictional.  The author gives them life, spirit, a spark that keeps you reading and wanting to learn more about them.

That sense of identity is what makes them real to us.  Why you binge a show on Netflix, or read a novel in one night.  Reading is a connection with these characters on a deeper level than you might realize, and this connection brings them to life.

Take that away, and your story is dead.

Your gray OOC Gary Stu overpowered Ravenclaw Harry who grew up with Snape and has a goblin half brother AU is not a story about Harry Potter.  It’s a story about an OC named Harry Potter, and Harry loses any integrity he had as a character in Rowling’s books.

That’s why there are fics with horrible grammar and massive following, alongside fics with incredible grammar and sentence construction but no followings.  Unless you maintain a basic level of your character’s identity, the essence of what makes them empathetic, you’re not writing about that character.  This is the worst sin, because even with all of the others in play, if there is good characterization you can still create an incredible story.

Just by fixing these seven problems, your fic can instantly jump from bad/meh to incredible in the way people perceive it.  Hopefully this list can help you determine things to either go back and revise or work on for future chapters.  When have you committed one of the seven sins?  What other sins do people make all the time in their writings?

Thank you to all of the amazing people who have followed, Allie

Support Me:  Fanfiction.net - Archives of our Own 

[tenroseforeverandever]

Dear Father Christmas... Chapter 18: December 24, 2033

MASTERPOST

Characters:  Tentoo; Rose Tyler; Jackie Tyler; Pete Tyler; Tony Tyler; OC Hope Tyler-Noble; OC Charlotte Tyler-Noble; OC Wilfred Tyler-Noble; OC Therin Thomson; Javic Thane

Rated: Teen

Tags: Family!Fic; Kid!Fic; Pete’s World; Letters to Santa; Christmas Fic; Family; Fluff; Hurt/Comfort; Angst; Romance; Love; gun violence; violence resulting in death; life-threatening injury; life threatening situations

Summary: When Rose Tyler was little, she always wrote a Christmas wish list to Father Christmas. As she grew older, the wish list became more of a letter to someone she could confide in once a year, but she fell out of the habit somewhere along the way. Now, as a new mum, celebrating her daughter’s first Christmas, Rose takes up writing her Christmas letter to Father Christmas once again.

Rose’s Christmas letters are excerpts from her life with her beloved Tentoo and their children in Pete’s World, written once a year, for each of 31 years.

Chapter Summary: When Rose receives a call telling her that Hope is unwell, she and the Doctor go to her rescue and run into a very familiar stranger.

Notes: @rose–nebula and mrsbertucci   are the absolute best. Thank-you, my darlings.

Thanks to @doctorroseprompts for their 31 Days of Ficmas prompts. The prompt I used today was Ice.

Also read at: AO3; FF.net; Teaspoon

December 24th, 2033

Dear Father Christmas,

It’s a funny little multiverse. After everything I’ve experienced throughout space and time, and in multiple universes, I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason (or at least that there are no coincidences.) I could chalk this up to being the natural consequence of the way the multiverse works or some sort of divine intervention. The Doctor would probably say it was something else entirely, and he’d be right.

I know for a fact that much of my life has not been a result of random chance. Intervention, yes, but not divine by any means. I created the words. I scattered them in time and space. I saw everything: all that is; all that was; all that ever could be. But I had no experience or skill, and I had the emotional intelligence of a nineteen year old London shop girl. I’d tweaked timelines here and there, an imperfect attempt to control my fate, the Doctor’s fate. Sporadically, the words still appear sometimes, and when they do, we can only hold on tight and ride out what Bad Wolf has in store for us.

Last week, my mobile rang while I was at work. I was teaching Integration 101 to a diverse group of newly settled aliens, doing some role play on basic greetings, body language, and personal space. It wasn’t going very well, especially the personal space portion. The classroom was full of irritated voices as the group came to terms with the fact that personal space meant something very different for each species and none of it was appropriate for human interaction.

I was frustrated to say the least, especially when the Glooboorg insisted on bouncing around the room (literally! Its body was very rounded and elastic and, well… bouncy. Friendly as they are, I’m not certain the human race is quite ready to meet the Glooboorgs, and perception filters can only filter out so much.)

Anyway, I was unable to reach my phone before it rang out, but it was just Hope. She didn’t leave a message, so I assumed she’d realized I was busy and she would try to reach me later. It wouldn’t be the first time. But then, just as I was turning back to call my class to order, she rang again. The group was noisy and boisterous and I could barely hear the voice on the other end of the line. But I could hear enough to know that it wasn’t Hope.

It was male.

It said: “Mrs. Tyler-Noble?” There was something familiar about the voice… the accent perhaps. I couldn’t put my finger on it. The din in the classroom was making it difficult to sort it out.

Anyway, I confirmed who I was, and asked him what the hell he was doing with my daughter’s mobile. My heart went into overdrive when he told me.

He said my daughter was unwell, but he was keeping her safe for the time being. He didn’t know where she lived, and she wasn’t in any condition to talk, and did I know her address so he could take her home.

I had so many questions. So many! But I couldn’t even think of what to ask. I turned to the class and told them to hush so I could hear, so I could think. I finally told the man I would be right there to take care of Hope myself.

“Sorry? What? How is that possible?” He seemed quite capable of coming up with great questions. He wasn’t panicking about his seventeen year old daughter, unconscious in the arms of a stranger, a thousand light years and three times that in temporal years away. “I should tell you my name and where we are, at least, don’t you think?”

I couldn’t argue with that, though I could easily trace her mobile and have the TARDIS lock onto her coordinates. Still, even as frightened as I was, I had the sense to know it would be best not to materialize the TARDIS in too public a spot.

He told me his name, but I barely caught it in the uproar caused by the Glooboorg knocking over one of the other students. It sounded something like “Derrek Shane”. He confirmed he was on Edifinol Beta, and in the city where Hope was studying. I could hardly hear him, to be honest. But all the maddening distractions faded into the background when he told me where in the city I’d find him.

“We’re just outside a club. It’s called The Bad Wolf.”

--ooOoo--

The Doctor was already waiting for me by the time I dismissed my class early for the day and gathered my things. He had the car running and we took off at high speed. It took a frustratingly long time to get home, and we decided we would “time it”, and program the TARDIS to land a minute or so after my conversation with the stranger (Derrek someone-or-other) had ended.

We landed in an alley about a block away from the club, the TARDIS materializing as our favourite (and somewhat reassuring) blue Police Public Call Box. It was night, but the streets in the area were well lit and designed primarily for foot traffic, so although it was busy, it was quite easy to find the club. But even if it hadn’t been visible, honestly, the waves of music throbbing from it would have given it away.

There sitting on a public bench, slumped against a young man’s shoulder was Hope. I rushed toward her across the street, shouting her name. The Doctor was hot on my heels.

The young man looked up at me and I swear I nearly passed out from shock.

“Hey,” he said. “You weren’t kidding about getting here fast! Pretty impressive. I’d like to get my hands on that kind of technology. I mean Hope’s told me about how she comes from a very distant colony. To get here that quickly...”

“Jack?” The only word that came out of my mouth, because that’s who it was, sitting right in front of me with his arm around my daughter… Jack Bloody Harkness. But so young, maybe in his mid-twenties

“Nope, sorry, you must be mistaking me for someone else. Javic Thane’s the name.” He held out his hand to me, and stunned, I extended my hand to him. He brought it to his lips and kissed my knuckles. “Well, I can certainly see where your daughter comes by her good looks.”

Despite my overwhelming worry for Hope, I found something comforting in the familiarity of his audacious come-ons, and cheesy pick-up lines, so much like the man I once knew.

The Doctor growled. “You can just stop flirting with my wife, right now.”

I raised an eyebrow at Jack… sorry, no… Javic, and sat on the other side of Hope. I pulled her against me, relief flooding through me to have her in my arms.

“I was just saying hello.” (Of course he would answer with that!)

“For you, that’s flirting. And if I find you’ve been trying to pull my daughter…”

“Whoa! Wait a minute, Mr. Tyler-Noble−”

Blimey, the Doctor hated that title. “No, don’t call me that. I’m the Doctor.”

“Doctor Tyler-Noble?”

“No, just the Doctor.”

Jack… Javic seemed skeptical about the name but he ploughed on with his story. “All right… Doc, (do you mind if I call you Doc?) listen I do admit, when your daughter first walked into the club, I was attracted to her. I mean, who wouldn’t be. She’s… well, she’s beautiful.” He hurried on with his story when the Doctor growled again. Apparently when he’d spoken to Hope, he’d realized how young she was and had immediately stopped trying to pull her. She’d seemed a little out of her element and he was trying to be nice. He’d bought her a drink (non-alcoholic at her request); something he described as a Virgin Ginger Cream Schnapps, a drink popular for kicking off the Festivitide season. They had talked for a bit while she sipped her drink and then, her confidence bolstered, she’d run off to join her friends.

The Doctor, of course, accused him of spiking her drink with something.

“First, that’s illegal, and while I’m not above a having little fun at the expense of the authorities, I could never do that to another person. That’s not fun. It’s just wrong. And second, why the hell would I spike her drink and then call you up to come get her? Your logic’s flawed, Doc.”

I confirmed Javic’s story. I’d run a quick scan of Hope with my sonic: she was drunk, but there were no other drugs in her system. I asked him if he knew how she got drunk, since it seemed she’d been planning to stick with virgin drinks.

“Well, you understand, it’s not like I was stalking her or anything, but there was something about her… Look Doc, I told you, it was nothing like that. I just felt like… I needed to protect her, and believe me, it sounds as unlikely to me as it does to you.”

He said she’d gone off with her friends, and then he told us about Alko-Ice, a new product that was making the rounds in clubs. Apparently, the molecular structure of alcohol was modified so it could be frozen at temperatures just below the freezing point of water. The kids played a game with it, a race to see who could melt the most ice chips on their tongue in the least amount of time.

“But, seriously,” he said, “there’s not much alcohol in them. The kids just like the nifty flavours and colours they come in.” He went on to explain that Hope hadn’t really looked as though she’d wanted to play, but her friends had been pretty pushy about it. Javic had even been about to intervene, but she’d already started. “Doc, she didn’t even play for that long. She couldn’t; could barely even stand after the first few minutes.”

True enough. I noticed there was actually hardly any alcohol in her system, certainly not enough to account for her current state, and while she was clearly very intoxicated, none of my scans indicated she was in any immediate danger.

After I nudged him over our bond, the Doctor grudgingly thanked Javic for looking after Hope. He extended his hand for a handshake, but in true “Jack” style, Javic brought the Doctor’s hand to his lips the way he’d done mine. “Well, it’s been a slice.” He made to walk away, back inside the club, but he turned to us before he slipped in. “Hey, if you two are ever up for a ménage à trois… It could be fun. I don’t like to boast, but I’m not just another pretty face…” He ran a long, lingering look over the Doctor’s slim body, which earned him another impatient growl. “All right, all right, I’m going!”

I called good-bye and thank-you to him, and he waved cheekily as he turned to the bouncer at the door of the club and immediately tried to pull him. I don’t care what the hell he called himself… that was Jack Harkness.

--ooOoo--

Back in the safety of the TARDIS, the Doctor did a proper scan of Hope. It seems she’s inherited the Time Lord sensitivity to ginger. Even a smidge of it will render a Time Lord susceptible to the effects of alcohol. In short, despite superior physiology, they can get thoroughly plastered (as I have been lucky enough to witness on at least one occasion.) Poor Hope, with otherwise mostly human physiology, and having consumed a large amount of ginger in the “ginger cream schnapps”, was probably completely pissed before she’d barely swallowed more than three of those Alko-Ice chips.

The Doctor administered something to counteract the effects of the ginger, so her body could process the alcohol properly. He waited impatiently for her to wake up, pacing, and projecting his anger and disappointment over our bond. I tried to get him to calm down, but he wasn’t having any of it. Eventually he left the infirmary, probably off to fiddle with bits of the TARDIS, keeping himself busy while he waited.

Hope finally opened her eyes blearily (the Doctor told me she would likely have one hell of a hangover), and looked around her, confused. I stroked her hair, projecting my love to her.

“Mama?” Oh my heart! She hadn’t called me that since she was about three or four. I just kept sending her my love, and I explained to her what had happened. She was frightened and so very sorry to have made us worry. She and her friends had gone out to celebrate the end of their first term. She’d never planned to drink or even try those ice chips. Her friends had been so insistent, she figured she’d just have one or two to appease them, and then back out, but she’d started feeling so faint…

That’s when the Doctor decided to bluster in like the Oncoming bloody Storm. Honestly, I’ve never seen such a rant. It started off with “You, little madam…” and ended a long while later with some nonsense about her coming home with us and never coming back to “…this blasted Slytheen’s arse of a planet.” Hope was beside herself, sobbing and pleading with him to reconsider, but he’d stomped off, ignoring any of my attempts to mentally calm him. A few seconds later, I felt the TARDIS’ flight sequence activate. Apparently, we were heading home.

I told Hope to give him time, and suggested she should just come and spend Christmas with us, but she was hysterical. She couldn’t miss classes. The new term was beginning in two days, and Christmas was still a week away…

“We have a time machine, Hopie,” I reminded her. “I imagine we can break our rules, just this once, and time it for you.” We’d already timed it to come to get her tonight, but I wasn’t about to tell her that! “Your Dad’s going to need to cool off, yeah, but he’ll come around.”

--ooOoo--

The Doctor had been scared. I get that. But it was only this morning, a full week later, he finally admitted he “might have overreacted”.

I’d been after him all week to ease up a bit. I made the mistake of telling him that when I was even younger than Hope, I’d gone to clubs nearly every weekend, and frequently come home pissed. I think I just made things worse. He lost it… again. Said he didn’t need me to tell him that. He knew. After he’d lost me to this universe, he admitted he’d go back in time to watch over me and make sure I was safe. He said he’d bumped into Jack a few times, too, doing the same.

I didn’t know whether to feel angry or grateful toward the two idiots. It was all they could do, I suppose, protecting a younger me from the world. In the end, I just felt loved, by the older brother I always wished I’d had, and the man I wanted to spend forever with.

But it wasn’t lost on me, the similarity between Jack watching over me and Javic looking out for Hope, and it made me think. I still couldn’t figure out what had rattled the Doctor more: the idea of Hope going to a club, or the appearance of Bad Wolf and our not-so-coincidental meeting of Jack’s parallel counterpart. I’m guessing probably the combination of both.

I know he wasn’t impressed with my teenaged self’s frequent drunkenness, at least not now that we have children of our own. The idea of Hope going to a club and possibly behaving like that must have been eating away at him, but I eventually managed to assure him that Hope was nothing like me, at least in this. She’s much more level-headed than I ever was. (I decided to keep my thoughts about Charlie to myself; she was very much more like me… but the Doctor didn’t need to be worrying about that just now!)

As for Javic, what worried the Doctor most about him, I think, was that this was someone whose parallel self, had been a swindler and a con man before we crossed paths with him, not to mention a pan-sexual lothario. But I think I managed to convince him on this too. Javic’s past may have been very different from Jack’s, and I firmly believe, in spite of him being a fraud, Jack had been a good and loyal person who just got off on the wrong track for a while. Having us in his life had changed that. Maybe Hope’s presence would affect Javic. He had certainly put his lothario status aside to protect her, a brotherly act, very similar to how Jack always used to treat me once he realized how much me and the Doctor loved one another, though it took us forever to realize it ourselves.

Apparently, I had managed to get through to the Doctor, ‘cause I came down to the kitchen this morning to find Hope and him making banana pancakes together, and sharing a huge, warm hug. So, needless to say, Hope is spending Christmas with us, and the next morning she’ll be returning to Uni on Edifinol Beta, and we will be timing it to make sure she doesn’t miss any classes.

And as for Javic Thane, if I as Bad Wolf, had seen fit to ensure our paths crossed, I couldn’t believe it was just a passing fancy. He had stumbled across our family for a reason. This wouldn’t be the last time we’d see him, I was sure of it. We would all just have to hold on tight and ride out whatever Bad Wolf had in store for us.

Thanks for listening, Santa. I hope you are lucky enough to come across old friends in your travels, this year. My love to all,

Rose

[uniformbravo]

so this post got me thinking about reigen & his attitude towards mob before and during the separation arc, so i thought i’d just. share my thoughts

(definitely read that post first, this is like partially based on it)

ok disclaimer before i start: im not saying anything im about to say is like. “”The Correct Interpretation”” or whatever, this is just. how i see things. feel free to disagree ok

now can i be real for a sec. like maybe a little Too Real: i really don’t like how the anime handled reigen. u can tell they pushed really hard to make him more likable, like they really really want you to like him so they intentionally framed him in a way that convinces you to admire him; the “conman with a heart of gold” who’s essentially adopted mob and acts as a role model for him, right

and it’s so easy to see him that way if your introductory (or sole) point of reference is the anime (especially with the way they inserted and altered that scene showing how mob & reigen met in ep 11). but in the manga, at least the way i see it, he is just Pure Sleaze through and through, doing anything and everything to keep manipulating mob into staying with him- tells him joining a club to make friends is a waste of time, tries to convince him that no one at school wants to spend time with him anyway, that they all just make fun of him behind his back. he doesn’t respect him, he makes him do things he is very obviously uncomfortable with, he constantly calls him out of the blue expecting him to drop everything (though “it’s not like you had anything going on anyway”) for random jobs despite having been asked several times before not to do that, etc etc

i honestly feel like any time it looks like reigen is being a Good Person and helping mob out it’s at least partially the result of selfish motives; he needs to keep mob happy on the job or else he won’t want to come back anymore (i wonder if that’s part of the reason reigen started taking him out for food). literally the main reason he even shows up for the first claw arc is because mob didn’t show up for work and he needs to drag him back to reprimand him (tho i could see there being an underlying concern for him there as well)*

i mean, just look at their entire situation objectively: a man in his mid-twenties takes advantage of a literal child for his own monetary gain like??? god

anyway the reason i love the separation arc so damn much is because reigen finally fucking realizes what a grade A piece of shit he’s being, and he feels guilty as hell about it and it’s so fucking satisfying like holy shit literally bye reigen

he realizes that mob is worth so much more than the shit he’s been putting him through (what a concept!) and, even further, he realizes that mob is an extremely important (even integral) part of his life and he’s been taking him for granted (an understatement) this entire time. he realizes that he looks up to mob, actually admires him, and that sets everything in perspective for him- the realization that this kid half his age is progressing more than he himself ever has, is a bigger person than he’ll ever be if he continues down the path he’s on now, and that the only thing reigen had ever done for him up until he finally left was hold him back in every way possible

most importantly though, to me at least, is the immediate change he goes through upon having these realizations: he admits that he was wrong and rectifies his last statement to him, publicly, in the hope that it’ll somehow reach mob wherever he is (because he isn’t planning to see or bother him any more in person after this), and he expects nothing in return (kind of amazing for a guy who thus far has done nothing but strive to squeeze every ounce of attention and respect out of every breathing human he comes into contact with)

and when mob shows up at the end, he isn’t received with the gloating “ha, i knew you’d come to your senses eventually” that reigen was very obviously prepared to give before, but instead with a simple, “why did you come?”

because he knows now, he knows he fucked up and that mob has absolutely no reason to forgive him or even speak to him ever again (”i said a terrible thing to him”) ((you said many terrible things to him)), so to see him then and there, after all that, his reaction becomes “what are you doing here, why are you even giving me the time of day, you were right to leave” and that alone already shows so much growth

(and mob, of course, forgives him, because he can see that reigen has learned his fuckin lesson now- honestly in the beginning of the arc reigen was waiting for mob to come to his senses so he could gloat but what really happened was reigen coming to his damn senses and mob going “i knew u had it in you :)” and i think that’s beautiful)

what i love about that analysis / modified translation is that it does a much better job getting across what a condescending piece of shit reigen was being before, and hammers home the weight of what this realization means to him, the full depth of it in context, the subtle nuances, just. everything. it’s so good. it’s so fucking good im #Blessed im living this is such incredibly valuable information @ op thank u???

In Conclusion reigen arataka invented character development, the separation arc saved my life, and that analysis made me immortal

-

*second disclaimer: when i say reigen only cares about keeping mob to work for him, im just talking about like. his base motivation. if he really was a heartless asshole who didn’t care about mob at all, the events of the separation arc wouldn’t have had any effect on him- he would’ve just gone on being bitter about his most valuable asset ditching him over what he saw as a small argument

i think that initially, back when they first met, reigen was only concerned with the thought of “oh shit i could make a fortune off this kid” (because before he found out about his powers he was annoyed & trying to get rid of him lol) but as time went on he grew a soft spot for him that eventually turned into actually caring about him, but it’s more of a subconscious thing; he doesn’t actually realize how much he cares about mob until he leaves, which is why it hits him so hard when he finally does realize

it’s not a random epiphany, either; it builds over the course of the entire arc, starting when mob stops showing up for work. reigen isn’t prepared to suddenly have that absence in his life, and he’s definitely not ready to confront the possibility (read: fact) that he’s in the wrong. so he pushes all the blame onto mob, convinces himself that he’s just overreacting and that he’ll come crawling back in no time, because mob needs him, he needs him. as far as reigen is convinced, mob doesn’t have anyone else to go to besides him, his sole mentor in life, so in the end it doesn’t even matter if reigen was shitty to him (which, of course, he definitely wasn’t) because mob has no other choice but to return in the end

then of course that all flies out the window when reigen sees mob with his friends in public and it blows his entire goddamn mind and he’s forced to acknowledge the fact that okay, so maybe mob does have friends, and even more, he’s having a good time with them?? he’s not completely floundering without reigen or obsessively thinking about him 24/7 consumed with the question of when things will go back to normal????

and reigen just cannot face that reality, that he’s not the hot shit he thought he was to mob, that his absence has literally zero effect on him, that he’s the only one falling apart over this, so he shoves it all aside and distracts himself with work. throws himself into his work, fuels himself with burning spite and dedicates every waking hour to proving that no, i don’t need him either, if he can get along fine without me then i can do a thousand times better without him holding me back. that’s what he tells himself, and that’s what he believes, but the whole thing is nothing more than one huge distraction, big enough to cover the giant absence suddenly gaping within him like a tarp thrown over so he doesn’t have to look at it, because he doesn’t want to look at it, he wants nothing to do with it

and that works, for a while. he gets wrapped up in success and fame and probably even manages to forget about mob for a little while- until everything comes crashing down and he hits the lowest point in his career, maybe even his life (definitely, from a writing standpoint, his story arc). only then do his thoughts return to mob, and only then does everything hit him in full force. everything he’s been holding back, everything he’s refused to admit, and then some- feelings he never even knew about in the first place but that he realizes were there all along

most importantly, he finally accepts that he was in the wrong and that he has no one to blame for this entire disaster but himself

and that’s where the change begins

(basically, reigen has cared about mob the whole time but he’s a dumbass and didn’t realize it so he just kept treating him the way he always has until mob got himself tf out of there and gave him the biggest wake up call of his life #goodnight arataka)

[evilsciencebros]

Agathrights: This local bug literally lives in a box and Megatron lets it crawl around inside of him to do repairs, News At 10.

evilsciencebros: You made him 10x awesome in ways I never would have expected! I love your fountain of imagination. LMAO *snuggles up inside the warrior poet*

agatharights: I kinda had the vague idea of making him either a true minicon or an uplift a while ago so it was fun to finally flesh that out!Who doesn't want to crawl around inside of megatron. it'd be cozy

evilsciencebros: *huggles the swiss army knife* He's perfect *squishes down into pancake mode*

agatharights: He just squish down.The only problem with being an uplift is that -actual- scraplets will probably follow him if given the chance, because this scraplet is bigger and smarter so clearly it has more food!And i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that a nonsapient swarm of dumb, hungry metallovores makes for poor company, unless you're in an autobot base in which case HEY NEW FRIENDS EAT EVERYTHING

evilsciencebros: The perfect drone army. They're not allowed in the Decepticon base

agatharightsyeah: probably a good idea to not bring those homeThey can't tell the difference between autobots and Decepticons and while Oil Slick is pretty unpalateable to everything (both Junkions and Unicronians refuse to eat him, which is impressive) everybody else...

evilsciencebros: Bless. He probably has a little hidey hole for them, so they don't go wondering off. Either that, or just kills/eats them, like Movie Scalpel did with that creepy worm thing that crawled through Sam's head. LOL. Everything keeps trying to eat Oil Slick and fails miserably XD

agatharights: I'd imagine so. Scalpel can probably eat virtually anything, if given enough time for his teensy tiny mouth, since he's still got a scraplet digestive system.

evilsciencebrosI: eat with his butt

agatharights: They had to remove most of the scraplet mouth/jaws though to make room for an actual brain.

evilsciencebros: Tiny brain. An Archive worth of knowledge. That's an impressive memory chip he's got

agatharights: Excellent quantum linkage with his spark for memory storage. Whatever company made him probably priced him pretty high- he would've been top-tier medical equipment at the time

evilsciencebros: ^w^ He is one of a kind

agatharights: "He is one of a kind" "Because everything else in his production line was disposed of when they became obsolete or were deemed too high-risk." you can even ask Optimus but like "What was Cybertron like?" "It was beautiful, and terrible."

evilsciencebros: it was beautiful...but at the same time, on fire

agatharights: Well, to be fair, on fire was more after Megatron finally started calming down and realized he maaaay have literally killed Primus and was like "Mm. Okay. I'll admit, I got a little out of hand.""Lets...lets just go find a new planet."

evilsciencebros: *sweeps the old planet under the rug.* Don't worry, we can still fix this

agatharights: And then he left Cybertron, a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and somehow by the time he got back Shockwave had made it worse and he was like how did you do this? When I left this was a heap of scrap that was on fire and full of electrical storms? WHY IS IT FULL OF ZOMBIES AND PREDACONS NOW? And Shockwave was like "i thought you were never coming back ever so I panicked"

agatharights: Shockwave is the master of "picked up necromancy as a hobby, made some mistakes"

evilsciencebros: This is what happens when you don't return people's phone calls. they join cults

agatharights: And if there's no cults to join, they make their own, and when you finally show back up they're like heyyyyyy...the good news is, Cybertron's not dead, the bad news is, neither are the Insecticons and now there's so many of them.

evilsciencebros: On the bright side there's a cool spider lady who keeps them in check...when she doesn't wanna eat you herself

agatharights: I dunno about that. Season Three of TF: Matrix is basically slotted to be "Blackarachnia is pissed Megatron ditched her on Cybertron, has been selectively breeding an army of insecticons and predacons to take it out on him" Megatron, and who can blame him, was like "Alright, we need to get everyone we can off the planet before the spacebridges go dark...but do i want to be stuck in a tube floating in space with a bunch of self-replicating cannibals? Do i really?"And then effectively gave the Insecticons/predacons the wrong time/place and took off without them and they've been salty about it for a few centuries

evilsciencebros: Megatron. Can't break up with someone to save his life. Instead changes his phone number and address, and pretends to be shocked when they finally run into each other years later.

agatharights: ...god I'm terrible because the first thing that pops into my head is "Clearly, he learned that from Orion"

agatharights: Since Orion basically ditched Megatron as soon as the Decepticons started getting too hot for him to handle and then Megatron didn't see him again until he was working with Sentinel Prime centuries later.And he was like  " :) This is fine" And promptly murdered them both.

evilsciencebros: Cybertron. Died because of poor communication

agatharights: Pretty much.Which, to be fair, this problem didn't start with Megatron and Orion, this problem probably started the moment Prima was like "Guys, I know the thirteen of us are pretty happy, but what if we made a few billion more people?"

agatharights sent a GIF

evilsciencebros: I don't see any downsides to this.

agatharights: Downsides: Quintessons were like hey, uhhhh looks like you have...a lot of people there. Can we...borrow some??????"no piss off Quintessons"

agatharights: And then Unicron was like HEYYYYY LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE THERE...CAN I DEVOUR EVERYTHING??? "NO PISS OFF UNICRON" (and then Nova Prime was like "Hey, what if institutionalized racism?" and instead of going "no piss off Nova" people were like "yeah okay" and that's Cybertronian history) The ghost of Solus Prime shaking her head like come on you guys I did not make all this shit that can literally cause miracles just so you could immediately start conquering and murdering things but she was dead so nobody listened to her

evilsciencebros: immortals need hobbies too. The only ones allowed to traumatise their OCs are them.

agatharights: "these are my OCs the entire Cybertronain race. original idea, do not steal." (and then the Quintessons, who created Primus and Unicron, were like WHOA PLAGARISM) Also oh no I realized the saddest thing that could happen to Scalpel

evilsciencebros: !!!!!

agatharights: Scalpel would've been an actual Scraplet, if very briefly (probably plucked right from a natural forge) before he was modified into a, well, a person, rather than a parasite. Which is all well and good, uplifts weren't uncommon for a long time, though they're very rare post-war

agatharights: But if he attacked Buster and Buster panicked there'd be a chance Buster's matrix abilities- including the ability to "repair" virtually anything Cybertronian given enough energy, would kick in- and Scalpel could be reverted into a Scraplet. It briefly happens to Ravage, but Ravage shares a spark with Soundwave- so Soundwave is able to re-activate his uplift status by restoring his spark (and Buster is very sorry like yeah okay the Decepticons have regularly tried to kidnap him as a power source but he didn't mean to hurt anyone!)But Scalpel being turned back into a Scraplet, even if it were temporary, sounds like a nightmare for him. Turned into a literally brainless creature (scraplets have no processors- their actions are directly connected to their spark rather than utilizing a processor)

evilsciencebros: ;-; poor baby

agatharights: He keeps biting Oil Slick and then being surprised and angry when Oil Slick tastes bad but he has no memory at the time. So he keeps trying bc Oil Slick carries him off to try and fix him ;-;

evilsciencebros: <3

agatharights: awwgh that's so sad i'm putting that in the "horrible things to potentially do to characters" folder

evilsciencebros: My boys. Looking out for each other ;3;

evilsciencebrosYou should feel bad! Poor Scalpel, reduced to something less than an animals, and poor Oil Slick trying to care for his little buddy.

agatharights: Someone on the team suggests that they should put Scalpel out of his misery, that they don't want to risk him eating someone and producing more scraplets, and Oil Slick gets so angry about it he has to leave for a lil bit, just to clear his head before he does something stupid like drop a white phosphorous grenade on them)He'd have to get fixed, eventually, but until then Oil Slick can keep him in a box and feed him scraps

evilsciencebros: OMG I hope he gets better one day! Poor Oil Slick trying, and failing, to bring Scalpel back, but unwilling to snuff out his little spark.He will murder that human boy >:/

agatharights: jskdlfaj if he confronted Buster the poor kid would be like ???!!! Because he'd have no idea what he'd done, and once he knew he'd freak out and start bawling because he didn't mean to! He's so sorry! He can fix it- he can, he can try, at least? "I don't want to hurt anyone! Please, just lemme try to fix it..."

evilsciencebros: He is very fortunate that Oil Slick is desperate and revenge can wait.Now stop pouring lubricant out of your optics and do your work weird god magic shit.

agatharights: akfdljsaf poor babies. At least Buster can probably undo it. Might take a bit, though, and a lot of energy. he'd konk right out afterwards, and Scalpel just re-grew an entire brain so he's very tired too.

[angremlin]

Stellaris is such a good game, the last two days I’ve basically come home, sit down, and played it past bed time continuously. The first pic is My Dudes, the Kirafamon (”people of Kira”) of the Kirafamon’to Bala’ta Espa (”The Best Hope of the People of Kira”). They’ve been interstellar for ABOUT 120 years now I think and that blue mass on the map is us (the top right bit of it used to be another empire but the requested to become part of mine). More info and some stories below.

That map shows everyone else’s opinion of us, we’re very friendly and helpful. The lower red empire has hated us since we met since they’re just plain douchebags, but they also recently realized they sucked and gave up their independence to become a vassal of the yellow-green next to them, who used to not like us but I’m winning them over. The other one basically hates me because I’m allied with people who kicked their ass, even though they actually managed it before I sent any help. I founded the only real federation in the galaxy, the only proper members are me and another empire that’s about 2/3 of the bright green at the top - the rest of the bright green as well as my ambivalent nature are officially “associated with” us so hopefully we’ll unify abt half the galaxy soon.

STORY THE FIRST. At the start of the game, I hadn’t found any other species and I had o concept of how much military I should have, so I basically didn’t build any. Suddenly I was informed that some of my people had become pirates, and the fleets that attacked were EACH stronger than the empire’s whole military? Also they kept going out to my frontier stations and destroying them, COMPLETELY halting the growth of the entire civilization! These both seemed like really weird things to do slash be possible, I decided they must have been some kind of very organized terrorist group opposed to expansion. I discovered much later that I didn’t need to make up an explanation, because I stumbled into a star system where an ancient fleet from a long dead empire was training and arming the raiders, who actually worked for them. Their main ship was ten times the strength of my whole fleet, I spent almost 100 years just going around them since they couldn’t send out strong fleets before I was able to raise a force to beat them.

STORY THE SECOND. Pretty early in the game, maybe even before the raids, a science ship found a weird signal on a planet we hadn’t explored. When we investigated, we found a young Kirafam who would only identify himself as “an exile” working in a weird lab. He gave us a choice: we could try to figure out what he was working on, or we could leave WITH him and never return and he’d work for us. Against my better judgement, i took the latter choice, figuring that even if his work was dangerous it would just be buried on a lifeless planet he’d never return to. The Exile would as my lead engineer until his death at the age of 133. No, Kirafamon don’t live that much longer than humans, this guy just literally refused to die. When he died he was older than the empire is now I believe, he remembered the first interstellar ship and he lived to see us expand to to 6 star systems, make peaceful contact with many other sentient races, destroy the ancient enemy that almost strangled us in the crib, destroy the last of the mysterious but VERY unfriendly living space crystals, integrate another species into our daily home lives... he saw almost everything that happened. I’m actualy... getting kind of really sad now writing this, when he died I doubt there was another living being that remembered a time when he wasn’t the chief engineer, as far as anyone knew “The Exile” was the most unchanging pillar of the empire, more than any ruler even. He guided almost the entire development of our navy as it grew from three corvettes to the fleet that defeated an ancient empire. And I have absolutely no idea who he was or what he was doing when we found him, and I never will - don’t even remember where that lab was anymore,

STORY THE THIRD. The Kirafamon love three things: equality, robots, and aliens (this is literally, mechanically true, look at their ethics in the first image lol). When investigating an anomally on a dead world, we found what we determined to be a vault full of data storage devices that were millions of years old, and which contained the minds of the last survivors of the dying race that built them, who hoped that maybe someday, someone would be able to bring them back. We had no idea how to do that, but we took the devices for safekeeping anyway. A few decades later we developed android bodies for simple artificial intelligences (we’d always had AI, they actually do a lot of the governing) and a helpful researcher (maybe even The Exile) was like “Hey, don’t we have like a ton of digital alien brains?” So we modified some of the robots and used them to bring the long extinct species back to life. They can no longer reproduce of course, but they’re also more or less immortal, and they’ve been living quietly on a corner of a frontier world ever since.

[aaltjebarisca]

How This Student Loan Borrower Went From Default to Almost Debt-Free

Credit: Sara Burgess Photography, courtesy of Heather Taylor

When Heather Taylor graduated from California Lutheran University in the middle of the Great Recession, she didn’t have an easy time looking for employment.

“It took me at least six months to find a job — 2010 was a poor economic climate all around for work — and that job paid me minimum wage,” Taylor said.

So when repayment kicked in on her $45,000 in student loans, Taylor struggled to keep up. She eventually went into default on some of her loans and ended up adding thousands more in interest to her debt.

It took years of “sacrifice, a lot of hard work and side hustles on top of a full-time job, and tears at 5 a.m. on the phone with Navient,” but she finally got her loans back into good standing and paid off a huge chunk of her balance.

Here’s how Taylor triumphed over her difficult financial situation and is on track to paying off her burdensome student loan debt in its entirety.

Graduating $45k in debt

Originally from Missouri, Taylor went to a private college in California, where she studied communications and journalism. To finance her education, Taylor accessed both federal and private student loans, including a $40,000 loan from Sallie Mae.

“There were seven loans altogether taken out for my undergraduate degree — three private loans with the highest interest rate at 8% and four federal loans with interest rates ranging from 4% to 6%,” said Taylor.

After graduation (and with student loan repayment looming), Taylor searched high and low for a job, but had trouble finding one that paid more than minimum wage. So when full repayment kicked in on her loans, she chose to postpone payments on several of them.

“By then, the loans were demanding much larger payments out of me,” said Taylor. “I deferred repayments for a long time because I simply didn’t earn enough to make the payments required of me.”

But pausing payments doesn’t stop interest from accruing, and Taylor saw her $45,000 balance balloon to more than $56,000.

Struggling to keep up with payments

With a minimum-wage job, followed by a nine-month period of unemployment in 2015, Taylor ultimately fell behind on her student loan payments.

“My ‘strategy’ was the worst possible cautionary tale — a series of deferments, making payments here and there when possible (which was never enough for the loan provider), and eventually defaulting on all three private loans,” said Taylor.

Not only did interest continue to add up, but her variable interest rates rose over time, resulting in an even larger balance. As Taylor puts it, “it was a total nightmare.”

While her debt grew, the pressure also took a toll on her physical and mental health.

“It has made me physically sick for a really long time,” said Taylor. “I have had terrible stomach issues for years because of the amount of stress this debt has put on me.”

Fortunately, she’s been able to turn her financial situation around and is starting to feel healthier as a result.

Getting student loans out of default (by paying them off in full)

One major turning point for Taylor was securing a full-time job at MyCorporation, an online company that helps entrepreneurs start new businesses. She also started freelance writing on the side, authoring a column about brand mascots called PopIcon for Advertising Week.

As she felt more secure in her income, Taylor took a unique approach to dealing with her loans — building up a series of nest eggs. After meeting a big savings goal, she would throw the entire amount at her loans.

“Much of these nest eggs would go towards paying off loans in full, rather than make minimum payments over the course of each month, which wasn’t getting me anywhere,” said Taylor.

There are a few different ways to get student loans out of default, and paying off the balance in full is one of them. But while this approach probably isn’t realistic for most borrowers, Taylor said it was right for her.

She was able to pay off two of her defaulted loans in one fell swoop and get another back into good standing. She also paid off the entire balance of two of her smaller federal student loans, making sure to target loans with the highest interest rates first to save the most money.

Making moves to regain financial control

Along with increasing her income by working a side hustle on top of her full-time job, Taylor also made other lifestyle choices that helped her to repay her debt.

For one thing, she held her spending to a minimum, relying on public transport instead of having a car and renting a room in a shared house.

“I keep my overhead expenses as low as humanly possible,” said Taylor. “It was total spartan behavior, the manner in which I budgeted and lived, and still very much is.”

She also reached out to a financial advisor she saw speak about the student loan crisis on CNBC.

“I wrote down his name and Googled him to see if he could help me out on a pro bono basis with questions I had about my loan,” said Taylor. “He did an awesome job, and his help meant the world to me.”

By increasing her income, reducing expenses and getting professional advice, Taylor was able to pull her loans out of default, slash her student loan balance and take giant leaps toward a debt-free life.

Getting off social media to maintain a positive mindset

Along with changing her financial situation, Taylor made another useful decision: She got off social media.

“One of the most absolutely grueling aspects of repaying student loan debt, especially if you’re doing it alone, is that social media is this ever-constant reminder that seemingly everyone around you has no financial problems,” she said.

Paying off debt can be grueling, as Taylor noted, and it can help your mental health to delete, or at least take a break from, your social media accounts.

“It is very hard to maintain the mindset of giving everything up when all you can see (literally — these websites exist as highlight reels) are your peers having expensive weddings, going on vacations, eating and drinking out and buying homes, while you are chained to the ground with a loan,” said Taylor, encouraging people to remember that almost all of us have challenges when it comes to money, even if it doesn’t appear that way.

“Everyone has financial problems,” said Taylor. “We just don’t discuss them out loud.”

Racing toward the finish line of student loan repayment

As of March 2019, Taylor had gotten her student loan balance down to just $13,000, which she feels confident she can repay within the year.

“What drives me is the push to take back my own life,” said Taylor. “There are so many things I want to do, see, and be with my life, but I will not get anywhere if I do not repay the debt in full and fast.”

While Taylor has had a long road of financial struggle due to her loans, conquering her debt on her own has made her feel empowered.

“[I had] no parents bankrolling me, no cosigners, no spouse and nobody but myself to dig me out of my hole,” she said. “It’s a lonely place, but I am getting there.”

She encourages other borrowers not to give up hope and to realize they can manage their debt on their own, too.

“I’ve been rowing a leaking boat for several years now and somehow always seem to make it to shore, in spite of the odds,” said Taylor. “At the end of the day, the only person who is going to save you is you.”

Interested in refinancing student loans? Here are the top 6 lenders of 2019!

LenderVariable APREligible Degrees  Check out the testimonials and our in-depth reviews! 1 Important Disclosures for SoFi. SoFi Disclosures Student loan Refinance:

Fixed rates from 3.890% APR to 8.074% APR (with AutoPay). Variable rates from 2.500% APR to 7.115% APR (with AutoPay). Interest rates on variable rate loans are capped at either 8.95% or 9.95% depending on term of loan. See APR examples and terms. Lowest variable rate of 2.500% APR assumes current 1 month LIBOR rate of 2.50% plus 0.00% margin minus 0.25% ACH discount. Not all borrowers receive the lowest rate. If approved for a loan, the fixed or variable interest rate offered will depend on your creditworthiness, and the term of the loan and other factors, and will be within the ranges of rates listed above. For the SoFi variable rate loan, the 1-month LIBOR index will adjust monthly and the loan payment will be re-amortized and may change monthly. APRs for variable rate loans may increase after origination if the LIBOR index increases. See eligibility details. The SoFi 0.25% AutoPay interest rate reduction requires you to agree to make monthly principal and interest payments by an automatic monthly deduction from a savings or checking account. The benefit will discontinue and be lost for periods in which you do not pay by automatic deduction from a savings or checking account. *To check the rates and terms you qualify for, SoFi conducts a soft credit inquiry. Unlike hard credit inquiries, soft credit inquiries (or soft credit pulls) do not impact your credit score. Soft credit inquiries allow SoFi to show you what rates and terms SoFi can offer you up front. After seeing your rates, if you choose a product and continue your application, we will request your full credit report from one or more consumer reporting agencies, which is considered a hard credit inquiry. Hard credit inquiries (or hard credit pulls) are required for SoFi to be able to issue you a loan. In addition to requiring your explicit permission, these credit pulls may impact your credit score.

Terms and Conditions Apply. SOFI RESERVES THE RIGHT TO MODIFY OR DISCONTINUE PRODUCTS AND BENEFITS AT ANY TIME WITHOUT NOTICE. To qualify, a borrower must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident in an eligible state and meet SoFi’s underwriting requirements. Not all borrowers receive the lowest rate. To qualify for the lowest rate, you must have a responsible financial history and meet other conditions. If approved, your actual rate will be within the range of rates listed above and will depend on a variety of factors, including term of loan, a responsible financial history, years of experience, income and other factors. Rates and Terms are subject to change at anytime without notice and are subject to state restrictions. SoFi refinance loans are private loans and do not have the same repayment options that the federal loan program offers such as Income Based Repayment or Income Contingent Repayment or PAYE. Licensed by the Department of Business Oversight under the California Financing Law License No. 6054612. SoFi loans are originated by SoFi Lending Corp., NMLS # 1121636. (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org) 2 Important Disclosures for Earnest. Earnest Disclosures

To qualify, you must be a U.S. citizen or possess a 10-year (non-conditional) Permanent Resident Card, reside in a state Earnest lends in, and satisfy our minimum eligibility criteria. You may find more information on loan eligibility here: https://www.earnest.com/eligibility. Not all applicants will be approved for a loan, and not all applicants will qualify for the lowest rate. Approval and interest rate depend on the review of a complete application.

Earnest fixed rate loan rates range from 3.89% APR (with Auto Pay) to 7.89% APR (with Auto Pay). Variable rate loan rates range from 2.54% APR (with Auto Pay) to 7.27% APR (with Auto Pay). For variable rate loans, although the interest rate will vary after you are approved, the interest rate will never exceed 8.95% for loan terms 10 years or less. For loan terms of 10 years to 15 years, the interest rate will never exceed 9.95%. For loan terms over 15 years, the interest rate will never exceed 11.95% (the maximum rates for these loans). Earnest variable interest rate loans are based on a publicly available index, the one month London Interbank Offered Rate (LIBOR). Your rate will be calculated each month by adding a margin between 1.82% and 5.50% to the one month LIBOR. The rate will not increase more than once per month. Earnest rate ranges are current as of March 18, 2019, and are subject to change based on market conditions and borrower eligibility.

Auto Pay discount: If you make monthly principal and interest payments by an automatic, monthly deduction from a savings or checking account, your rate will be reduced by one quarter of one percent (0.25%) for so long as you continue to make automatic, electronic monthly payments. This benefit is suspended during periods of deferment and forbearance.

The information provided on this page is updated as of 0318/2019. Earnest reserves the right to change, pause, or terminate product offerings at any time without notice. Earnest loans are originated by Earnest Operations LLC. California Finance Lender License 6054788. NMLS # 1204917. Earnest Operations LLC is located at 302 2nd Street, Suite 401N, San Francisco, CA 94107. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit https://www.earnest.com/terms-of-service, email us at hello@earnest.com, or call 888-601-2801 for more information on ourstudent loan refinance product.

© 2018 Earnest LLC. All rights reserved. Earnest LLC and its subsidiaries, including Earnest Operations LLC, are not sponsored by or agencies of the United States of America.

3 Important Disclosures for Laurel Road. Laurel Road Disclosures

FIXED APR Fixed rate options consist of a range from 3.75% per year to 5.80% per year for a 5-year term, 4.25% per year to 6.25% per year for a 7-year term, 4.55% per year to 6.65% per year for a 10-year term, 4.85% per year to 7.05% per year for a 15-year term, or 5.30% per year to 7.27% per year for a 20-year term, with no origination fees. The fixed interest rate will apply until the loan is paid in full (whether before or after default, and whether before or after the scheduled maturity date of the loan). The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 3.75% per year to 5.80% per year for a 5-year term would be from $183.04 to $192.40. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.25% per year to 6.25% per year for a 7-year term would be from $137.84 to $147.29. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.55% per year to 6.65% per year for a 10-year term would be from $103.88 to $114.31. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.85% per year to 7.05% per year for a 15-year term would be from $78.30 to $90.16. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 5.30% per year to 7.27% per year for a 20-year term would be from $67.66 to $79.16.

However, if the borrower chooses to make monthly payments automatically by electronic funds transfer (EFT) from a bank account, the fixed rate will decrease by 0.25%, and will increase back up to the regular fixed interest rate described in the preceding paragraph if the borrower stops making (or we stop accepting) monthly payments automatically by EFT from the designated borrower’s bank account.

VARIABLE APR Variable rate options consist of a range from 2.75% per year to 6.30% per year for a 5-year term, 4.00% per year to 6.35% per year for a 7-year term, 4.25% per year to 6.40% per year for a 10-year term, 4.50% per year to 6.65% per year for a 15-year term, or 4.75% per year to 6.90% per year for a 20-year term, with no origination fees. APR is subject to increase after consummation. The variable interest rate will change on the first day of every month (“Change Date”) if the Current Index changes. The variable interest rates are based on a Current Index, which is the 1-month London Interbank Offered Rate (LIBOR) (currency in US dollars), as published on The Wall Street Journal’s website. The variable interest rates and Annual Percentage Rate (APR) will increase or decrease when the 1-month LIBOR index changes. The variable interest rates are calculated by adding a margin ranging from 0.25% to 3.80% for the 5-year term loan, 1.50% to 3.85% for the 7-year term loan, 1.75% to 3.90% for the 10-year term loan, 2.00% to 4.15% for the 15-year term loan, and 2.25% to 4.40% for the 20-year term loan, respectively, to the 1-month LIBOR index published on the 25th day of each month immediately preceding each “Change Date,” as defined above, rounded to two decimal places, with no origination fees. If the 25th day of the month is not a business day or is a US federal holiday, the reference date will be the most recent date preceding the 25th day of the month that is a business day. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 2.75% per year to 6.30% per year for a 5-year term would be from $178.58 to $194.73. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.00% per year to 6.35% per year for a 7-year term would be from $136.69 to $147.77. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.25% per year to 6.40% per year for a 10-year term would be from $102.44 to $113.04. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.50% per year to 6.65% per year for a 15-year term would be from $76.50 to $87.94. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.75% per year to 6.90% per year for a 20-year term would be from $64.62 to $76.93.

However, if the borrower chooses to make monthly payments automatically by electronic funds transfer (EFT) from a bank account, the variable rate will decrease by 0.25%, and will increase back up to the regular variable interest rate described in the preceding paragraph if the borrower stops making (or we stop accepting) monthly payments automatically by EFT from the designated borrower’s bank account.

All credit products are subject to credit approval.

Laurel Road began originating student loans in 2013 and has since helped thousands of professionals with undergraduate and postgraduate degrees consolidate and refinance more than $4 billion in federal and private school loans. Laurel Road also offers a suite of online graduate school loan products and personal loans that help simplify lending through customized technology and personalized service. In April 2019, Laurel Road was acquired by KeyBank, one of the nation’s largest bank-based financial services companies. Laurel Road is a brand of KeyBank National Association offering online lending products in all 50 U.S. states, Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico. All loans are provided by KeyBank National Association, a nationally chartered bank. Member FDIC. For more information, visit www.laurelroad.com.

4 Important Disclosures for LendKey. LendKey Disclosures

Refinancing via LendKey.com is only available for applicants with qualified private education loans from an eligible institution. Loans that were used for exam preparation classes, including, but not limited to, loans for LSAT, MCAT, GMAT, and GRE preparation, are not eligible for refinancing with a lender via LendKey.com. If you currently have any of these exam preparation loans, you should not include them in an application to refinance your student loans on this website. Applicants must be either U.S. citizens or Permanent Residents in an eligible state to qualify for a loan. Certain membership requirements (including the opening of a share account and any applicable association fees in connection with membership) may apply in the event that an applicant wishes to accept a loan offer from a credit union lender. Lenders participating on LendKey.com reserve the right to modify or discontinue the products, terms, and benefits offered on this website at any time without notice. LendKey Technologies, Inc. is not affiliated with, nor does it endorse, any educational institution.

5 Important Disclosures for CommonBond. CommonBond Disclosures

Offered terms are subject to change. Loans are offered by CommonBond Lending, LLC (NMLS # 1175900). If you are approved for a loan, the interest rate offered will depend on your credit profile, your application, the loan term selected and will be within the ranges of rates shown.

All Annual Percentage Rates (APRs) displayed assume borrowers enroll in auto pay and account for the 0.25% reduction in interest rate. All variable rates are based on a 1-month LIBOR assumption of 2.49% effective March 10, 2019.

6 Important Disclosures for Citizens Bank. Citizens Bank Disclosures Education Refinance Loan Rate Disclosure: Variable rate, based on the one-month London Interbank Offered Rate (“LIBOR”) published in The Wall Street Journal on the twenty-fifth day, or the next business day, of the preceding calendar month. As of April 1, 2019, the one-month LIBOR rate is 2.50%. Variable interest rates range from 3.00% – 9.74% (3.00% – 9.74% APR) and will fluctuate over the term of the borrower’s loan with changes in the LIBOR rate, and will vary based on applicable terms, level of degree earned and presence of a co-signer. Fixed interest rates range from 3.89% – 9.99% (3.89% – 9.99% APR) based on applicable terms, level of degree earned and presence of a co-signer. Lowest rates shown are for eligible, creditworthy applicants with a graduate level degree, require a 5-year repayment term and include our Loyalty discount and Automatic Payment discounts of 0.25 percentage points each, as outlined in the Loyalty and Automatic Payment Discount disclosures. The maximum variable rate on the Education Refinance Loan is the greater of 21.00% or Prime Rate plus 9.00%. Subject to additional terms and conditions, and rates are subject to change at any time without notice. Such changes will only apply to applications taken after the effective date of change. Please note: Due to federal regulations, Citizens Bank is required to provide every potential borrower with disclosure information before they apply for a private student loan. The borrower will be presented with an Application Disclosure and an Approval Disclosure within the application process before they accept the terms and conditions of their loan. Federal Loan vs. Private Loan Benefits: Some federal student loans include unique benefits that the borrower may not receive with a private student loan, some of which we do not offer with the Education Refinance Loan. Borrowers should carefully review their current benefits, especially if they work in public service, are in the military, are currently on or considering income based repayment options or are concerned about a steady source of future income and would want to lower their payments at some time in the future. When the borrower refinances, they waive any current and potential future benefits of their federal loans and replace those with the benefits of the Education Refinance Loan. For more information about federal student loan benefits and federal loan consolidation, visit http://studentaid.ed.gov/. We also have several resources available to help the borrower make a decision at http://www.citizensbank.com/EdRefinance, including Should I Refinance My Student Loans? and our FAQs. Should I Refinance My Student Loans? includes a comparison of federal and private student loan benefits that we encourage the borrower to review. Citizens Bank Education Refinance Loan Eligibility: Eligible applicants may not be currently enrolled. Applicants with an Associate’s degree or with no degree must have made at least 12 qualifying payments after leaving school. Qualifying payments are the most recent on time and consecutive payments of principal and interest on the loans being refinanced. Primary borrowers must be a U.S. citizen, permanent resident or resident alien with a valid U.S. Social Security Number residing in the United States. Resident aliens must apply with a co-signer who is a U.S. citizen or permanent resident. The co-signer (if applicable) must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident with a valid U.S. Social Security Number residing in the United States. For applicants who have not attained the age of majority in their state of residence, a co-signer will be required. Citizens Bank reserves the right to modify eligibility criteria at anytime. Interest rate ranges subject to change. Education Refinance Loans are subject to credit qualification, completion of a loan application/consumer credit agreement, verification of application information, certification of borrower’s student loan amount(s) and highest degree earned. Loyalty Discount Disclosure: The borrower will be eligible for a 0.25 percentage point interest rate reduction on their loan if the borrower or their co-signer (if applicable) has a qualifying account in existence with us at the time the borrower and their co-signer (if applicable) have submitted a completed application authorizing us to review their credit request for the loan. The following are qualifying accounts: any checking account, savings account, money market account, certificate of deposit, automobile loan, home equity loan, home equity line of credit, mortgage, credit card account, or other student loans owned by Citizens Bank, N.A. Please note, our checking and savings account options are only available in the following states: CT, DE, MA, MI, NH, NJ, NY, OH, PA, RI, and VT and some products may have an associated cost. This discount will be reflected in the interest rate disclosed in the Loan Approval Disclosure that will be provided to the borrower once the loan is approved. Limit of one Loyalty Discount per loan and discount will not be applied to prior loans. The Loyalty Discount will remain in effect for the life of the loan. Automatic Payment Discount Disclosure: Borrowers will be eligible to receive a 0.25 percentage point interest rate reduction on their student loans owned by Citizens Bank, N.A. during such time as payments are required to be made and our loan servicer is authorized to automatically deduct payments each month from any bank account the borrower designates. Discount is not available when payments are not due, such as during forbearance. If our loan servicer is unable to successfully withdraw the automatic deductions from the designated account three or more times within any 12-month period, the borrower will no longer be eligible for this discount. Co-signer Release: Borrowers may apply for co-signer release after making 36 consecutive on-time payments of principal and interest. For the purpose of the application for co-signer release, on-time payments are defined as payments received within 15 days of the due date. Interest only payments do not qualify. The borrower must meet certain credit and eligibility guidelines when applying for the co-signer release. Borrowers must complete an application for release and provide income verification documents as part of the review. Borrowers who use deferment or forbearance will need to make 36 consecutive on-time payments after reentering repayment to qualify for release. The borrower applying for co-signer release must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident. If an application for co-signer release is denied, the borrower may not reapply for co-signer release until at least one year from the date the application for co-signer release was received. Terms and conditions apply. Borrowers whose loans were funded prior to reaching the age of majority may not be eligible for co-signer release. Note: co-signer release is not available on the Student Loan for Parents or Education Refinance Loan for Parents. 2.54% – 7.27%1Undergrad & Graduate

Visit Earnest

2.50% – 7.12%3Undergrad & Graduate

Visit SoFi

2.81% – 8.79%4Undergrad & Graduate

Visit Lendkey

2.50% – 6.65%2Undergrad & Graduate

Visit Laurel Road

2.55% – 7.42%5Undergrad & Graduate

Visit CommonBond

3.00% – 9.74%6Undergrad & Graduate

Visit Citizens

Our team at Student Loan Hero works hard to find and recommend products and services that we believe are of high quality. We sometimes earn a sales commission or advertising fee when recommending various products and services to you. Similar to when you are being sold any product or service, be sure to read the fine print to help you understand what you are buying. Be sure to consult with a licensed professional if you have any concerns. Student Loan Hero is not a lender or investment advisor. We are not involved in the loan approval or investment process, nor do we make credit or investment related decisions. The rates and terms listed on our website are estimates and are subject to change at any time.

The post How This Student Loan Borrower Went From Default to Almost Debt-Free appeared first on Student Loan Hero.

from Updates About Loans https://studentloanhero.com/featured/student-loan-default-debt-free/

[mikebrackett]

How This Student Loan Borrower Went From Default to Almost Debt-Free

Credit: Sara Burgess Photography, courtesy of Heather Taylor

When Heather Taylor graduated from California Lutheran University in the middle of the Great Recession, she didn’t have an easy time looking for employment.

“It took me at least six months to find a job — 2010 was a poor economic climate all around for work — and that job paid me minimum wage,” Taylor said.

So when repayment kicked in on her $45,000 in student loans, Taylor struggled to keep up. She eventually went into default on some of her loans and ended up adding thousands more in interest to her debt.

It took years of “sacrifice, a lot of hard work and side hustles on top of a full-time job, and tears at 5 a.m. on the phone with Navient,” but she finally got her loans back into good standing and paid off a huge chunk of her balance.

Here’s how Taylor triumphed over her difficult financial situation and is on track to paying off her burdensome student loan debt in its entirety.

Graduating $45k in debt

Originally from Missouri, Taylor went to a private college in California, where she studied communications and journalism. To finance her education, Taylor accessed both federal and private student loans, including a $40,000 loan from Sallie Mae.

“There were seven loans altogether taken out for my undergraduate degree — three private loans with the highest interest rate at 8% and four federal loans with interest rates ranging from 4% to 6%,” said Taylor.

After graduation (and with student loan repayment looming), Taylor searched high and low for a job, but had trouble finding one that paid more than minimum wage. So when full repayment kicked in on her loans, she chose to postpone payments on several of them.

“By then, the loans were demanding much larger payments out of me,” said Taylor. “I deferred repayments for a long time because I simply didn’t earn enough to make the payments required of me.”

But pausing payments doesn’t stop interest from accruing, and Taylor saw her $45,000 balance balloon to more than $56,000.

Struggling to keep up with payments

With a minimum-wage job, followed by a nine-month period of unemployment in 2015, Taylor ultimately fell behind on her student loan payments.

“My ‘strategy’ was the worst possible cautionary tale — a series of deferments, making payments here and there when possible (which was never enough for the loan provider), and eventually defaulting on all three private loans,” said Taylor.

Not only did interest continue to add up, but her variable interest rates rose over time, resulting in an even larger balance. As Taylor puts it, “it was a total nightmare.”

While her debt grew, the pressure also took a toll on her physical and mental health.

“It has made me physically sick for a really long time,” said Taylor. “I have had terrible stomach issues for years because of the amount of stress this debt has put on me.”

Fortunately, she’s been able to turn her financial situation around and is starting to feel healthier as a result.

Getting student loans out of default (by paying them off in full)

One major turning point for Taylor was securing a full-time job at MyCorporation, an online company that helps entrepreneurs start new businesses. She also started freelance writing on the side, authoring a column about brand mascots called PopIcon for Advertising Week.

As she felt more secure in her income, Taylor took a unique approach to dealing with her loans — building up a series of nest eggs. After meeting a big savings goal, she would throw the entire amount at her loans.

“Much of these nest eggs would go towards paying off loans in full, rather than make minimum payments over the course of each month, which wasn’t getting me anywhere,” said Taylor.

There are a few different ways to get student loans out of default, and paying off the balance in full is one of them. But while this approach probably isn’t realistic for most borrowers, Taylor said it was right for her.

She was able to pay off two of her defaulted loans in one fell swoop and get another back into good standing. She also paid off the entire balance of two of her smaller federal student loans, making sure to target loans with the highest interest rates first to save the most money.

Making moves to regain financial control

Along with increasing her income by working a side hustle on top of her full-time job, Taylor also made other lifestyle choices that helped her to repay her debt.

For one thing, she held her spending to a minimum, relying on public transport instead of having a car and renting a room in a shared house.

“I keep my overhead expenses as low as humanly possible,” said Taylor. “It was total spartan behavior, the manner in which I budgeted and lived, and still very much is.”

She also reached out to a financial advisor she saw speak about the student loan crisis on CNBC.

“I wrote down his name and Googled him to see if he could help me out on a pro bono basis with questions I had about my loan,” said Taylor. “He did an awesome job, and his help meant the world to me.”

By increasing her income, reducing expenses and getting professional advice, Taylor was able to pull her loans out of default, slash her student loan balance and take giant leaps toward a debt-free life.

Getting off social media to maintain a positive mindset

Along with changing her financial situation, Taylor made another useful decision: She got off social media.

“One of the most absolutely grueling aspects of repaying student loan debt, especially if you’re doing it alone, is that social media is this ever-constant reminder that seemingly everyone around you has no financial problems,” she said.

Paying off debt can be grueling, as Taylor noted, and it can help your mental health to delete, or at least take a break from, your social media accounts.

“It is very hard to maintain the mindset of giving everything up when all you can see (literally — these websites exist as highlight reels) are your peers having expensive weddings, going on vacations, eating and drinking out and buying homes, while you are chained to the ground with a loan,” said Taylor, encouraging people to remember that almost all of us have challenges when it comes to money, even if it doesn’t appear that way.

“Everyone has financial problems,” said Taylor. “We just don’t discuss them out loud.”

Racing toward the finish line of student loan repayment

As of March 2019, Taylor had gotten her student loan balance down to just $13,000, which she feels confident she can repay within the year.

“What drives me is the push to take back my own life,” said Taylor. “There are so many things I want to do, see, and be with my life, but I will not get anywhere if I do not repay the debt in full and fast.”

While Taylor has had a long road of financial struggle due to her loans, conquering her debt on her own has made her feel empowered.

“[I had] no parents bankrolling me, no cosigners, no spouse and nobody but myself to dig me out of my hole,” she said. “It’s a lonely place, but I am getting there.”

She encourages other borrowers not to give up hope and to realize they can manage their debt on their own, too.

“I’ve been rowing a leaking boat for several years now and somehow always seem to make it to shore, in spite of the odds,” said Taylor. “At the end of the day, the only person who is going to save you is you.”

Interested in refinancing student loans? Here are the top 6 lenders of 2019!

LenderVariable APREligible Degrees  Check out the testimonials and our in-depth reviews! 1 Important Disclosures for SoFi. SoFi Disclosures Student loan Refinance:

Fixed rates from 3.890% APR to 8.074% APR (with AutoPay). Variable rates from 2.500% APR to 7.115% APR (with AutoPay). Interest rates on variable rate loans are capped at either 8.95% or 9.95% depending on term of loan. See APR examples and terms. Lowest variable rate of 2.500% APR assumes current 1 month LIBOR rate of 2.50% plus 0.00% margin minus 0.25% ACH discount. Not all borrowers receive the lowest rate. If approved for a loan, the fixed or variable interest rate offered will depend on your creditworthiness, and the term of the loan and other factors, and will be within the ranges of rates listed above. For the SoFi variable rate loan, the 1-month LIBOR index will adjust monthly and the loan payment will be re-amortized and may change monthly. APRs for variable rate loans may increase after origination if the LIBOR index increases. See eligibility details. The SoFi 0.25% AutoPay interest rate reduction requires you to agree to make monthly principal and interest payments by an automatic monthly deduction from a savings or checking account. The benefit will discontinue and be lost for periods in which you do not pay by automatic deduction from a savings or checking account. *To check the rates and terms you qualify for, SoFi conducts a soft credit inquiry. Unlike hard credit inquiries, soft credit inquiries (or soft credit pulls) do not impact your credit score. Soft credit inquiries allow SoFi to show you what rates and terms SoFi can offer you up front. After seeing your rates, if you choose a product and continue your application, we will request your full credit report from one or more consumer reporting agencies, which is considered a hard credit inquiry. Hard credit inquiries (or hard credit pulls) are required for SoFi to be able to issue you a loan. In addition to requiring your explicit permission, these credit pulls may impact your credit score.

Terms and Conditions Apply. SOFI RESERVES THE RIGHT TO MODIFY OR DISCONTINUE PRODUCTS AND BENEFITS AT ANY TIME WITHOUT NOTICE. To qualify, a borrower must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident in an eligible state and meet SoFi’s underwriting requirements. Not all borrowers receive the lowest rate. To qualify for the lowest rate, you must have a responsible financial history and meet other conditions. If approved, your actual rate will be within the range of rates listed above and will depend on a variety of factors, including term of loan, a responsible financial history, years of experience, income and other factors. Rates and Terms are subject to change at anytime without notice and are subject to state restrictions. SoFi refinance loans are private loans and do not have the same repayment options that the federal loan program offers such as Income Based Repayment or Income Contingent Repayment or PAYE. Licensed by the Department of Business Oversight under the California Financing Law License No. 6054612. SoFi loans are originated by SoFi Lending Corp., NMLS # 1121636. (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org) 2 Important Disclosures for Earnest. Earnest Disclosures

To qualify, you must be a U.S. citizen or possess a 10-year (non-conditional) Permanent Resident Card, reside in a state Earnest lends in, and satisfy our minimum eligibility criteria. You may find more information on loan eligibility here: https://www.earnest.com/eligibility. Not all applicants will be approved for a loan, and not all applicants will qualify for the lowest rate. Approval and interest rate depend on the review of a complete application.

Earnest fixed rate loan rates range from 3.89% APR (with Auto Pay) to 7.89% APR (with Auto Pay). Variable rate loan rates range from 2.54% APR (with Auto Pay) to 7.27% APR (with Auto Pay). For variable rate loans, although the interest rate will vary after you are approved, the interest rate will never exceed 8.95% for loan terms 10 years or less. For loan terms of 10 years to 15 years, the interest rate will never exceed 9.95%. For loan terms over 15 years, the interest rate will never exceed 11.95% (the maximum rates for these loans). Earnest variable interest rate loans are based on a publicly available index, the one month London Interbank Offered Rate (LIBOR). Your rate will be calculated each month by adding a margin between 1.82% and 5.50% to the one month LIBOR. The rate will not increase more than once per month. Earnest rate ranges are current as of March 18, 2019, and are subject to change based on market conditions and borrower eligibility.

Auto Pay discount: If you make monthly principal and interest payments by an automatic, monthly deduction from a savings or checking account, your rate will be reduced by one quarter of one percent (0.25%) for so long as you continue to make automatic, electronic monthly payments. This benefit is suspended during periods of deferment and forbearance.

The information provided on this page is updated as of 0318/2019. Earnest reserves the right to change, pause, or terminate product offerings at any time without notice. Earnest loans are originated by Earnest Operations LLC. California Finance Lender License 6054788. NMLS # 1204917. Earnest Operations LLC is located at 302 2nd Street, Suite 401N, San Francisco, CA 94107. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit https://www.earnest.com/terms-of-service, email us at hello@earnest.com, or call 888-601-2801 for more information on ourstudent loan refinance product.

© 2018 Earnest LLC. All rights reserved. Earnest LLC and its subsidiaries, including Earnest Operations LLC, are not sponsored by or agencies of the United States of America.

3 Important Disclosures for Laurel Road. Laurel Road Disclosures

FIXED APR Fixed rate options consist of a range from 3.75% per year to 5.80% per year for a 5-year term, 4.25% per year to 6.25% per year for a 7-year term, 4.55% per year to 6.65% per year for a 10-year term, 4.85% per year to 7.05% per year for a 15-year term, or 5.30% per year to 7.27% per year for a 20-year term, with no origination fees. The fixed interest rate will apply until the loan is paid in full (whether before or after default, and whether before or after the scheduled maturity date of the loan). The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 3.75% per year to 5.80% per year for a 5-year term would be from $183.04 to $192.40. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.25% per year to 6.25% per year for a 7-year term would be from $137.84 to $147.29. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.55% per year to 6.65% per year for a 10-year term would be from $103.88 to $114.31. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.85% per year to 7.05% per year for a 15-year term would be from $78.30 to $90.16. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 5.30% per year to 7.27% per year for a 20-year term would be from $67.66 to $79.16.

However, if the borrower chooses to make monthly payments automatically by electronic funds transfer (EFT) from a bank account, the fixed rate will decrease by 0.25%, and will increase back up to the regular fixed interest rate described in the preceding paragraph if the borrower stops making (or we stop accepting) monthly payments automatically by EFT from the designated borrower’s bank account.

VARIABLE APR Variable rate options consist of a range from 2.75% per year to 6.30% per year for a 5-year term, 4.00% per year to 6.35% per year for a 7-year term, 4.25% per year to 6.40% per year for a 10-year term, 4.50% per year to 6.65% per year for a 15-year term, or 4.75% per year to 6.90% per year for a 20-year term, with no origination fees. APR is subject to increase after consummation. The variable interest rate will change on the first day of every month (“Change Date”) if the Current Index changes. The variable interest rates are based on a Current Index, which is the 1-month London Interbank Offered Rate (LIBOR) (currency in US dollars), as published on The Wall Street Journal’s website. The variable interest rates and Annual Percentage Rate (APR) will increase or decrease when the 1-month LIBOR index changes. The variable interest rates are calculated by adding a margin ranging from 0.25% to 3.80% for the 5-year term loan, 1.50% to 3.85% for the 7-year term loan, 1.75% to 3.90% for the 10-year term loan, 2.00% to 4.15% for the 15-year term loan, and 2.25% to 4.40% for the 20-year term loan, respectively, to the 1-month LIBOR index published on the 25th day of each month immediately preceding each “Change Date,” as defined above, rounded to two decimal places, with no origination fees. If the 25th day of the month is not a business day or is a US federal holiday, the reference date will be the most recent date preceding the 25th day of the month that is a business day. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 2.75% per year to 6.30% per year for a 5-year term would be from $178.58 to $194.73. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.00% per year to 6.35% per year for a 7-year term would be from $136.69 to $147.77. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.25% per year to 6.40% per year for a 10-year term would be from $102.44 to $113.04. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.50% per year to 6.65% per year for a 15-year term would be from $76.50 to $87.94. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.75% per year to 6.90% per year for a 20-year term would be from $64.62 to $76.93.

However, if the borrower chooses to make monthly payments automatically by electronic funds transfer (EFT) from a bank account, the variable rate will decrease by 0.25%, and will increase back up to the regular variable interest rate described in the preceding paragraph if the borrower stops making (or we stop accepting) monthly payments automatically by EFT from the designated borrower’s bank account.

All credit products are subject to credit approval.

Laurel Road began originating student loans in 2013 and has since helped thousands of professionals with undergraduate and postgraduate degrees consolidate and refinance more than $4 billion in federal and private school loans. Laurel Road also offers a suite of online graduate school loan products and personal loans that help simplify lending through customized technology and personalized service. In April 2019, Laurel Road was acquired by KeyBank, one of the nation’s largest bank-based financial services companies. Laurel Road is a brand of KeyBank National Association offering online lending products in all 50 U.S. states, Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico. All loans are provided by KeyBank National Association, a nationally chartered bank. Member FDIC. For more information, visit www.laurelroad.com.

4 Important Disclosures for LendKey. LendKey Disclosures

Refinancing via LendKey.com is only available for applicants with qualified private education loans from an eligible institution. Loans that were used for exam preparation classes, including, but not limited to, loans for LSAT, MCAT, GMAT, and GRE preparation, are not eligible for refinancing with a lender via LendKey.com. If you currently have any of these exam preparation loans, you should not include them in an application to refinance your student loans on this website. Applicants must be either U.S. citizens or Permanent Residents in an eligible state to qualify for a loan. Certain membership requirements (including the opening of a share account and any applicable association fees in connection with membership) may apply in the event that an applicant wishes to accept a loan offer from a credit union lender. Lenders participating on LendKey.com reserve the right to modify or discontinue the products, terms, and benefits offered on this website at any time without notice. LendKey Technologies, Inc. is not affiliated with, nor does it endorse, any educational institution.

5 Important Disclosures for CommonBond. CommonBond Disclosures

Offered terms are subject to change. Loans are offered by CommonBond Lending, LLC (NMLS # 1175900). If you are approved for a loan, the interest rate offered will depend on your credit profile, your application, the loan term selected and will be within the ranges of rates shown.

All Annual Percentage Rates (APRs) displayed assume borrowers enroll in auto pay and account for the 0.25% reduction in interest rate. All variable rates are based on a 1-month LIBOR assumption of 2.49% effective March 10, 2019.

6 Important Disclosures for Citizens Bank. Citizens Bank Disclosures Education Refinance Loan Rate Disclosure: Variable rate, based on the one-month London Interbank Offered Rate (“LIBOR”) published in The Wall Street Journal on the twenty-fifth day, or the next business day, of the preceding calendar month. As of April 1, 2019, the one-month LIBOR rate is 2.50%. Variable interest rates range from 3.00% – 9.74% (3.00% – 9.74% APR) and will fluctuate over the term of the borrower’s loan with changes in the LIBOR rate, and will vary based on applicable terms, level of degree earned and presence of a co-signer. Fixed interest rates range from 3.89% – 9.99% (3.89% – 9.99% APR) based on applicable terms, level of degree earned and presence of a co-signer. Lowest rates shown are for eligible, creditworthy applicants with a graduate level degree, require a 5-year repayment term and include our Loyalty discount and Automatic Payment discounts of 0.25 percentage points each, as outlined in the Loyalty and Automatic Payment Discount disclosures. The maximum variable rate on the Education Refinance Loan is the greater of 21.00% or Prime Rate plus 9.00%. Subject to additional terms and conditions, and rates are subject to change at any time without notice. Such changes will only apply to applications taken after the effective date of change. Please note: Due to federal regulations, Citizens Bank is required to provide every potential borrower with disclosure information before they apply for a private student loan. The borrower will be presented with an Application Disclosure and an Approval Disclosure within the application process before they accept the terms and conditions of their loan. Federal Loan vs. Private Loan Benefits: Some federal student loans include unique benefits that the borrower may not receive with a private student loan, some of which we do not offer with the Education Refinance Loan. Borrowers should carefully review their current benefits, especially if they work in public service, are in the military, are currently on or considering income based repayment options or are concerned about a steady source of future income and would want to lower their payments at some time in the future. When the borrower refinances, they waive any current and potential future benefits of their federal loans and replace those with the benefits of the Education Refinance Loan. For more information about federal student loan benefits and federal loan consolidation, visit http://studentaid.ed.gov/. We also have several resources available to help the borrower make a decision at http://www.citizensbank.com/EdRefinance, including Should I Refinance My Student Loans? and our FAQs. Should I Refinance My Student Loans? includes a comparison of federal and private student loan benefits that we encourage the borrower to review. Citizens Bank Education Refinance Loan Eligibility: Eligible applicants may not be currently enrolled. Applicants with an Associate’s degree or with no degree must have made at least 12 qualifying payments after leaving school. Qualifying payments are the most recent on time and consecutive payments of principal and interest on the loans being refinanced. Primary borrowers must be a U.S. citizen, permanent resident or resident alien with a valid U.S. Social Security Number residing in the United States. Resident aliens must apply with a co-signer who is a U.S. citizen or permanent resident. The co-signer (if applicable) must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident with a valid U.S. Social Security Number residing in the United States. For applicants who have not attained the age of majority in their state of residence, a co-signer will be required. Citizens Bank reserves the right to modify eligibility criteria at anytime. Interest rate ranges subject to change. Education Refinance Loans are subject to credit qualification, completion of a loan application/consumer credit agreement, verification of application information, certification of borrower’s student loan amount(s) and highest degree earned. Loyalty Discount Disclosure: The borrower will be eligible for a 0.25 percentage point interest rate reduction on their loan if the borrower or their co-signer (if applicable) has a qualifying account in existence with us at the time the borrower and their co-signer (if applicable) have submitted a completed application authorizing us to review their credit request for the loan. The following are qualifying accounts: any checking account, savings account, money market account, certificate of deposit, automobile loan, home equity loan, home equity line of credit, mortgage, credit card account, or other student loans owned by Citizens Bank, N.A. Please note, our checking and savings account options are only available in the following states: CT, DE, MA, MI, NH, NJ, NY, OH, PA, RI, and VT and some products may have an associated cost. This discount will be reflected in the interest rate disclosed in the Loan Approval Disclosure that will be provided to the borrower once the loan is approved. Limit of one Loyalty Discount per loan and discount will not be applied to prior loans. The Loyalty Discount will remain in effect for the life of the loan. Automatic Payment Discount Disclosure: Borrowers will be eligible to receive a 0.25 percentage point interest rate reduction on their student loans owned by Citizens Bank, N.A. during such time as payments are required to be made and our loan servicer is authorized to automatically deduct payments each month from any bank account the borrower designates. Discount is not available when payments are not due, such as during forbearance. If our loan servicer is unable to successfully withdraw the automatic deductions from the designated account three or more times within any 12-month period, the borrower will no longer be eligible for this discount. Co-signer Release: Borrowers may apply for co-signer release after making 36 consecutive on-time payments of principal and interest. For the purpose of the application for co-signer release, on-time payments are defined as payments received within 15 days of the due date. Interest only payments do not qualify. The borrower must meet certain credit and eligibility guidelines when applying for the co-signer release. Borrowers must complete an application for release and provide income verification documents as part of the review. Borrowers who use deferment or forbearance will need to make 36 consecutive on-time payments after reentering repayment to qualify for release. The borrower applying for co-signer release must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident. If an application for co-signer release is denied, the borrower may not reapply for co-signer release until at least one year from the date the application for co-signer release was received. Terms and conditions apply. Borrowers whose loans were funded prior to reaching the age of majority may not be eligible for co-signer release. Note: co-signer release is not available on the Student Loan for Parents or Education Refinance Loan for Parents. 2.54% – 7.27%1Undergrad & Graduate

Visit Earnest

2.50% – 7.12%3Undergrad & Graduate

Visit SoFi

2.81% – 8.79%4Undergrad & Graduate

Visit Lendkey

2.50% – 6.65%2Undergrad & Graduate

Visit Laurel Road

2.55% – 7.42%5Undergrad & Graduate

Visit CommonBond

3.00% – 9.74%6Undergrad & Graduate

Visit Citizens

Our team at Student Loan Hero works hard to find and recommend products and services that we believe are of high quality. We sometimes earn a sales commission or advertising fee when recommending various products and services to you. Similar to when you are being sold any product or service, be sure to read the fine print to help you understand what you are buying. Be sure to consult with a licensed professional if you have any concerns. Student Loan Hero is not a lender or investment advisor. We are not involved in the loan approval or investment process, nor do we make credit or investment related decisions. The rates and terms listed on our website are estimates and are subject to change at any time.

The post How This Student Loan Borrower Went From Default to Almost Debt-Free appeared first on Student Loan Hero.

from Updates About Loans https://studentloanhero.com/featured/student-loan-default-debt-free/

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How This Student Loan Borrower Went From Default to Almost Debt-Free

Credit: Sara Burgess Photography, courtesy of Heather Taylor

When Heather Taylor graduated from California Lutheran University in the middle of the Great Recession, she didn’t have an easy time looking for employment.

“It took me at least six months to find a job — 2010 was a poor economic climate all around for work — and that job paid me minimum wage,” Taylor said.

So when repayment kicked in on her $45,000 in student loans, Taylor struggled to keep up. She eventually went into default on some of her loans and ended up adding thousands more in interest to her debt.

It took years of “sacrifice, a lot of hard work and side hustles on top of a full-time job, and tears at 5 a.m. on the phone with Navient,” but she finally got her loans back into good standing and paid off a huge chunk of her balance.

Here’s how Taylor triumphed over her difficult financial situation and is on track to paying off her burdensome student loan debt in its entirety.

Graduating $45k in debt

Originally from Missouri, Taylor went to a private college in California, where she studied communications and journalism. To finance her education, Taylor accessed both federal and private student loans, including a $40,000 loan from Sallie Mae.

“There were seven loans altogether taken out for my undergraduate degree — three private loans with the highest interest rate at 8% and four federal loans with interest rates ranging from 4% to 6%,” said Taylor.

After graduation (and with student loan repayment looming), Taylor searched high and low for a job, but had trouble finding one that paid more than minimum wage. So when full repayment kicked in on her loans, she chose to postpone payments on several of them.

“By then, the loans were demanding much larger payments out of me,” said Taylor. “I deferred repayments for a long time because I simply didn’t earn enough to make the payments required of me.”

But pausing payments doesn’t stop interest from accruing, and Taylor saw her $45,000 balance balloon to more than $56,000.

Struggling to keep up with payments

With a minimum-wage job, followed by a nine-month period of unemployment in 2015, Taylor ultimately fell behind on her student loan payments.

“My ‘strategy’ was the worst possible cautionary tale — a series of deferments, making payments here and there when possible (which was never enough for the loan provider), and eventually defaulting on all three private loans,” said Taylor.

Not only did interest continue to add up, but her variable interest rates rose over time, resulting in an even larger balance. As Taylor puts it, “it was a total nightmare.”

While her debt grew, the pressure also took a toll on her physical and mental health.

“It has made me physically sick for a really long time,” said Taylor. “I have had terrible stomach issues for years because of the amount of stress this debt has put on me.”

Fortunately, she’s been able to turn her financial situation around and is starting to feel healthier as a result.

Getting student loans out of default (by paying them off in full)

One major turning point for Taylor was securing a full-time job at MyCorporation, an online company that helps entrepreneurs start new businesses. She also started freelance writing on the side, authoring a column about brand mascots called PopIcon for Advertising Week.

As she felt more secure in her income, Taylor took a unique approach to dealing with her loans — building up a series of nest eggs. After meeting a big savings goal, she would throw the entire amount at her loans.

“Much of these nest eggs would go towards paying off loans in full, rather than make minimum payments over the course of each month, which wasn’t getting me anywhere,” said Taylor.

There are a few different ways to get student loans out of default, and paying off the balance in full is one of them. But while this approach probably isn’t realistic for most borrowers, Taylor said it was right for her.

She was able to pay off two of her defaulted loans in one fell swoop and get another back into good standing. She also paid off the entire balance of two of her smaller federal student loans, making sure to target loans with the highest interest rates first to save the most money.

Making moves to regain financial control

Along with increasing her income by working a side hustle on top of her full-time job, Taylor also made other lifestyle choices that helped her to repay her debt.

For one thing, she held her spending to a minimum, relying on public transport instead of having a car and renting a room in a shared house.

“I keep my overhead expenses as low as humanly possible,” said Taylor. “It was total spartan behavior, the manner in which I budgeted and lived, and still very much is.”

She also reached out to a financial advisor she saw speak about the student loan crisis on CNBC.

“I wrote down his name and Googled him to see if he could help me out on a pro bono basis with questions I had about my loan,” said Taylor. “He did an awesome job, and his help meant the world to me.”

By increasing her income, reducing expenses and getting professional advice, Taylor was able to pull her loans out of default, slash her student loan balance and take giant leaps toward a debt-free life.

Getting off social media to maintain a positive mindset

Along with changing her financial situation, Taylor made another useful decision: She got off social media.

“One of the most absolutely grueling aspects of repaying student loan debt, especially if you’re doing it alone, is that social media is this ever-constant reminder that seemingly everyone around you has no financial problems,” she said.

Paying off debt can be grueling, as Taylor noted, and it can help your mental health to delete, or at least take a break from, your social media accounts.

“It is very hard to maintain the mindset of giving everything up when all you can see (literally — these websites exist as highlight reels) are your peers having expensive weddings, going on vacations, eating and drinking out and buying homes, while you are chained to the ground with a loan,” said Taylor, encouraging people to remember that almost all of us have challenges when it comes to money, even if it doesn’t appear that way.

“Everyone has financial problems,” said Taylor. “We just don’t discuss them out loud.”

Racing toward the finish line of student loan repayment

As of March 2019, Taylor had gotten her student loan balance down to just $13,000, which she feels confident she can repay within the year.

“What drives me is the push to take back my own life,” said Taylor. “There are so many things I want to do, see, and be with my life, but I will not get anywhere if I do not repay the debt in full and fast.”

While Taylor has had a long road of financial struggle due to her loans, conquering her debt on her own has made her feel empowered.

“[I had] no parents bankrolling me, no cosigners, no spouse and nobody but myself to dig me out of my hole,” she said. “It’s a lonely place, but I am getting there.”

She encourages other borrowers not to give up hope and to realize they can manage their debt on their own, too.

“I’ve been rowing a leaking boat for several years now and somehow always seem to make it to shore, in spite of the odds,” said Taylor. “At the end of the day, the only person who is going to save you is you.”

Interested in refinancing student loans? Here are the top 6 lenders of 2019!

LenderVariable APREligible Degrees  Check out the testimonials and our in-depth reviews! 1 Important Disclosures for SoFi. SoFi Disclosures Student loan Refinance:

Fixed rates from 3.890% APR to 8.074% APR (with AutoPay). Variable rates from 2.500% APR to 7.115% APR (with AutoPay). Interest rates on variable rate loans are capped at either 8.95% or 9.95% depending on term of loan. See APR examples and terms. Lowest variable rate of 2.500% APR assumes current 1 month LIBOR rate of 2.50% plus 0.00% margin minus 0.25% ACH discount. Not all borrowers receive the lowest rate. If approved for a loan, the fixed or variable interest rate offered will depend on your creditworthiness, and the term of the loan and other factors, and will be within the ranges of rates listed above. For the SoFi variable rate loan, the 1-month LIBOR index will adjust monthly and the loan payment will be re-amortized and may change monthly. APRs for variable rate loans may increase after origination if the LIBOR index increases. See eligibility details. The SoFi 0.25% AutoPay interest rate reduction requires you to agree to make monthly principal and interest payments by an automatic monthly deduction from a savings or checking account. The benefit will discontinue and be lost for periods in which you do not pay by automatic deduction from a savings or checking account. *To check the rates and terms you qualify for, SoFi conducts a soft credit inquiry. Unlike hard credit inquiries, soft credit inquiries (or soft credit pulls) do not impact your credit score. Soft credit inquiries allow SoFi to show you what rates and terms SoFi can offer you up front. After seeing your rates, if you choose a product and continue your application, we will request your full credit report from one or more consumer reporting agencies, which is considered a hard credit inquiry. Hard credit inquiries (or hard credit pulls) are required for SoFi to be able to issue you a loan. In addition to requiring your explicit permission, these credit pulls may impact your credit score.

Terms and Conditions Apply. SOFI RESERVES THE RIGHT TO MODIFY OR DISCONTINUE PRODUCTS AND BENEFITS AT ANY TIME WITHOUT NOTICE. To qualify, a borrower must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident in an eligible state and meet SoFi’s underwriting requirements. Not all borrowers receive the lowest rate. To qualify for the lowest rate, you must have a responsible financial history and meet other conditions. If approved, your actual rate will be within the range of rates listed above and will depend on a variety of factors, including term of loan, a responsible financial history, years of experience, income and other factors. Rates and Terms are subject to change at anytime without notice and are subject to state restrictions. SoFi refinance loans are private loans and do not have the same repayment options that the federal loan program offers such as Income Based Repayment or Income Contingent Repayment or PAYE. Licensed by the Department of Business Oversight under the California Financing Law License No. 6054612. SoFi loans are originated by SoFi Lending Corp., NMLS # 1121636. (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org) 2 Important Disclosures for Earnest. Earnest Disclosures

To qualify, you must be a U.S. citizen or possess a 10-year (non-conditional) Permanent Resident Card, reside in a state Earnest lends in, and satisfy our minimum eligibility criteria. You may find more information on loan eligibility here: https://www.earnest.com/eligibility. Not all applicants will be approved for a loan, and not all applicants will qualify for the lowest rate. Approval and interest rate depend on the review of a complete application.

Earnest fixed rate loan rates range from 3.89% APR (with Auto Pay) to 7.89% APR (with Auto Pay). Variable rate loan rates range from 2.54% APR (with Auto Pay) to 7.27% APR (with Auto Pay). For variable rate loans, although the interest rate will vary after you are approved, the interest rate will never exceed 8.95% for loan terms 10 years or less. For loan terms of 10 years to 15 years, the interest rate will never exceed 9.95%. For loan terms over 15 years, the interest rate will never exceed 11.95% (the maximum rates for these loans). Earnest variable interest rate loans are based on a publicly available index, the one month London Interbank Offered Rate (LIBOR). Your rate will be calculated each month by adding a margin between 1.82% and 5.50% to the one month LIBOR. The rate will not increase more than once per month. Earnest rate ranges are current as of March 18, 2019, and are subject to change based on market conditions and borrower eligibility.

Auto Pay discount: If you make monthly principal and interest payments by an automatic, monthly deduction from a savings or checking account, your rate will be reduced by one quarter of one percent (0.25%) for so long as you continue to make automatic, electronic monthly payments. This benefit is suspended during periods of deferment and forbearance.

The information provided on this page is updated as of 0318/2019. Earnest reserves the right to change, pause, or terminate product offerings at any time without notice. Earnest loans are originated by Earnest Operations LLC. California Finance Lender License 6054788. NMLS # 1204917. Earnest Operations LLC is located at 302 2nd Street, Suite 401N, San Francisco, CA 94107. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit https://www.earnest.com/terms-of-service, email us at hello@earnest.com, or call 888-601-2801 for more information on ourstudent loan refinance product.

© 2018 Earnest LLC. All rights reserved. Earnest LLC and its subsidiaries, including Earnest Operations LLC, are not sponsored by or agencies of the United States of America.

3 Important Disclosures for Laurel Road. Laurel Road Disclosures

FIXED APR Fixed rate options consist of a range from 3.75% per year to 5.80% per year for a 5-year term, 4.25% per year to 6.25% per year for a 7-year term, 4.55% per year to 6.65% per year for a 10-year term, 4.85% per year to 7.05% per year for a 15-year term, or 5.30% per year to 7.27% per year for a 20-year term, with no origination fees. The fixed interest rate will apply until the loan is paid in full (whether before or after default, and whether before or after the scheduled maturity date of the loan). The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 3.75% per year to 5.80% per year for a 5-year term would be from $183.04 to $192.40. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.25% per year to 6.25% per year for a 7-year term would be from $137.84 to $147.29. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.55% per year to 6.65% per year for a 10-year term would be from $103.88 to $114.31. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.85% per year to 7.05% per year for a 15-year term would be from $78.30 to $90.16. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 5.30% per year to 7.27% per year for a 20-year term would be from $67.66 to $79.16.

However, if the borrower chooses to make monthly payments automatically by electronic funds transfer (EFT) from a bank account, the fixed rate will decrease by 0.25%, and will increase back up to the regular fixed interest rate described in the preceding paragraph if the borrower stops making (or we stop accepting) monthly payments automatically by EFT from the designated borrower’s bank account.

VARIABLE APR Variable rate options consist of a range from 2.75% per year to 6.30% per year for a 5-year term, 4.00% per year to 6.35% per year for a 7-year term, 4.25% per year to 6.40% per year for a 10-year term, 4.50% per year to 6.65% per year for a 15-year term, or 4.75% per year to 6.90% per year for a 20-year term, with no origination fees. APR is subject to increase after consummation. The variable interest rate will change on the first day of every month (“Change Date”) if the Current Index changes. The variable interest rates are based on a Current Index, which is the 1-month London Interbank Offered Rate (LIBOR) (currency in US dollars), as published on The Wall Street Journal’s website. The variable interest rates and Annual Percentage Rate (APR) will increase or decrease when the 1-month LIBOR index changes. The variable interest rates are calculated by adding a margin ranging from 0.25% to 3.80% for the 5-year term loan, 1.50% to 3.85% for the 7-year term loan, 1.75% to 3.90% for the 10-year term loan, 2.00% to 4.15% for the 15-year term loan, and 2.25% to 4.40% for the 20-year term loan, respectively, to the 1-month LIBOR index published on the 25th day of each month immediately preceding each “Change Date,” as defined above, rounded to two decimal places, with no origination fees. If the 25th day of the month is not a business day or is a US federal holiday, the reference date will be the most recent date preceding the 25th day of the month that is a business day. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 2.75% per year to 6.30% per year for a 5-year term would be from $178.58 to $194.73. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.00% per year to 6.35% per year for a 7-year term would be from $136.69 to $147.77. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.25% per year to 6.40% per year for a 10-year term would be from $102.44 to $113.04. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.50% per year to 6.65% per year for a 15-year term would be from $76.50 to $87.94. The monthly payment for a sample $10,000 loan at a range of 4.75% per year to 6.90% per year for a 20-year term would be from $64.62 to $76.93.

However, if the borrower chooses to make monthly payments automatically by electronic funds transfer (EFT) from a bank account, the variable rate will decrease by 0.25%, and will increase back up to the regular variable interest rate described in the preceding paragraph if the borrower stops making (or we stop accepting) monthly payments automatically by EFT from the designated borrower’s bank account.

All credit products are subject to credit approval.

Laurel Road began originating student loans in 2013 and has since helped thousands of professionals with undergraduate and postgraduate degrees consolidate and refinance more than $4 billion in federal and private school loans. Laurel Road also offers a suite of online graduate school loan products and personal loans that help simplify lending through customized technology and personalized service. In April 2019, Laurel Road was acquired by KeyBank, one of the nation’s largest bank-based financial services companies. Laurel Road is a brand of KeyBank National Association offering online lending products in all 50 U.S. states, Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico. All loans are provided by KeyBank National Association, a nationally chartered bank. Member FDIC. For more information, visit www.laurelroad.com.

4 Important Disclosures for LendKey. LendKey Disclosures

Refinancing via LendKey.com is only available for applicants with qualified private education loans from an eligible institution. Loans that were used for exam preparation classes, including, but not limited to, loans for LSAT, MCAT, GMAT, and GRE preparation, are not eligible for refinancing with a lender via LendKey.com. If you currently have any of these exam preparation loans, you should not include them in an application to refinance your student loans on this website. Applicants must be either U.S. citizens or Permanent Residents in an eligible state to qualify for a loan. Certain membership requirements (including the opening of a share account and any applicable association fees in connection with membership) may apply in the event that an applicant wishes to accept a loan offer from a credit union lender. Lenders participating on LendKey.com reserve the right to modify or discontinue the products, terms, and benefits offered on this website at any time without notice. LendKey Technologies, Inc. is not affiliated with, nor does it endorse, any educational institution.

5 Important Disclosures for CommonBond. CommonBond Disclosures

Offered terms are subject to change. Loans are offered by CommonBond Lending, LLC (NMLS # 1175900). If you are approved for a loan, the interest rate offered will depend on your credit profile, your application, the loan term selected and will be within the ranges of rates shown.

All Annual Percentage Rates (APRs) displayed assume borrowers enroll in auto pay and account for the 0.25% reduction in interest rate. All variable rates are based on a 1-month LIBOR assumption of 2.49% effective March 10, 2019.

6 Important Disclosures for Citizens Bank. Citizens Bank Disclosures Education Refinance Loan Rate Disclosure: Variable rate, based on the one-month London Interbank Offered Rate (“LIBOR”) published in The Wall Street Journal on the twenty-fifth day, or the next business day, of the preceding calendar month. As of April 1, 2019, the one-month LIBOR rate is 2.50%. Variable interest rates range from 3.00% – 9.74% (3.00% – 9.74% APR) and will fluctuate over the term of the borrower’s loan with changes in the LIBOR rate, and will vary based on applicable terms, level of degree earned and presence of a co-signer. Fixed interest rates range from 3.89% – 9.99% (3.89% – 9.99% APR) based on applicable terms, level of degree earned and presence of a co-signer. Lowest rates shown are for eligible, creditworthy applicants with a graduate level degree, require a 5-year repayment term and include our Loyalty discount and Automatic Payment discounts of 0.25 percentage points each, as outlined in the Loyalty and Automatic Payment Discount disclosures. The maximum variable rate on the Education Refinance Loan is the greater of 21.00% or Prime Rate plus 9.00%. Subject to additional terms and conditions, and rates are subject to change at any time without notice. Such changes will only apply to applications taken after the effective date of change. Please note: Due to federal regulations, Citizens Bank is required to provide every potential borrower with disclosure information before they apply for a private student loan. The borrower will be presented with an Application Disclosure and an Approval Disclosure within the application process before they accept the terms and conditions of their loan. Federal Loan vs. Private Loan Benefits: Some federal student loans include unique benefits that the borrower may not receive with a private student loan, some of which we do not offer with the Education Refinance Loan. Borrowers should carefully review their current benefits, especially if they work in public service, are in the military, are currently on or considering income based repayment options or are concerned about a steady source of future income and would want to lower their payments at some time in the future. When the borrower refinances, they waive any current and potential future benefits of their federal loans and replace those with the benefits of the Education Refinance Loan. For more information about federal student loan benefits and federal loan consolidation, visit http://studentaid.ed.gov/. We also have several resources available to help the borrower make a decision at http://www.citizensbank.com/EdRefinance, including Should I Refinance My Student Loans? and our FAQs. Should I Refinance My Student Loans? includes a comparison of federal and private student loan benefits that we encourage the borrower to review. Citizens Bank Education Refinance Loan Eligibility: Eligible applicants may not be currently enrolled. Applicants with an Associate’s degree or with no degree must have made at least 12 qualifying payments after leaving school. Qualifying payments are the most recent on time and consecutive payments of principal and interest on the loans being refinanced. Primary borrowers must be a U.S. citizen, permanent resident or resident alien with a valid U.S. Social Security Number residing in the United States. Resident aliens must apply with a co-signer who is a U.S. citizen or permanent resident. The co-signer (if applicable) must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident with a valid U.S. Social Security Number residing in the United States. For applicants who have not attained the age of majority in their state of residence, a co-signer will be required. Citizens Bank reserves the right to modify eligibility criteria at anytime. Interest rate ranges subject to change. Education Refinance Loans are subject to credit qualification, completion of a loan application/consumer credit agreement, verification of application information, certification of borrower’s student loan amount(s) and highest degree earned. Loyalty Discount Disclosure: The borrower will be eligible for a 0.25 percentage point interest rate reduction on their loan if the borrower or their co-signer (if applicable) has a qualifying account in existence with us at the time the borrower and their co-signer (if applicable) have submitted a completed application authorizing us to review their credit request for the loan. The following are qualifying accounts: any checking account, savings account, money market account, certificate of deposit, automobile loan, home equity loan, home equity line of credit, mortgage, credit card account, or other student loans owned by Citizens Bank, N.A. Please note, our checking and savings account options are only available in the following states: CT, DE, MA, MI, NH, NJ, NY, OH, PA, RI, and VT and some products may have an associated cost. This discount will be reflected in the interest rate disclosed in the Loan Approval Disclosure that will be provided to the borrower once the loan is approved. Limit of one Loyalty Discount per loan and discount will not be applied to prior loans. The Loyalty Discount will remain in effect for the life of the loan. Automatic Payment Discount Disclosure: Borrowers will be eligible to receive a 0.25 percentage point interest rate reduction on their student loans owned by Citizens Bank, N.A. during such time as payments are required to be made and our loan servicer is authorized to automatically deduct payments each month from any bank account the borrower designates. Discount is not available when payments are not due, such as during forbearance. If our loan servicer is unable to successfully withdraw the automatic deductions from the designated account three or more times within any 12-month period, the borrower will no longer be eligible for this discount. Co-signer Release: Borrowers may apply for co-signer release after making 36 consecutive on-time payments of principal and interest. For the purpose of the application for co-signer release, on-time payments are defined as payments received within 15 days of the due date. Interest only payments do not qualify. The borrower must meet certain credit and eligibility guidelines when applying for the co-signer release. Borrowers must complete an application for release and provide income verification documents as part of the review. Borrowers who use deferment or forbearance will need to make 36 consecutive on-time payments after reentering repayment to qualify for release. The borrower applying for co-signer release must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident. If an application for co-signer release is denied, the borrower may not reapply for co-signer release until at least one year from the date the application for co-signer release was received. Terms and conditions apply. Borrowers whose loans were funded prior to reaching the age of majority may not be eligible for co-signer release. Note: co-signer release is not available on the Student Loan for Parents or Education Refinance Loan for Parents. 2.54% – 7.27%1Undergrad & Graduate

Visit Earnest

2.50% – 7.12%3Undergrad & Graduate

Visit SoFi

2.81% – 8.79%4Undergrad & Graduate

Visit Lendkey

2.50% – 6.65%2Undergrad & Graduate

Visit Laurel Road

2.55% – 7.42%5Undergrad & Graduate

Visit CommonBond

3.00% – 9.74%6Undergrad & Graduate

Visit Citizens

Our team at Student Loan Hero works hard to find and recommend products and services that we believe are of high quality. We sometimes earn a sales commission or advertising fee when recommending various products and services to you. Similar to when you are being sold any product or service, be sure to read the fine print to help you understand what you are buying. Be sure to consult with a licensed professional if you have any concerns. Student Loan Hero is not a lender or investment advisor. We are not involved in the loan approval or investment process, nor do we make credit or investment related decisions. The rates and terms listed on our website are estimates and are subject to change at any time.

The post How This Student Loan Borrower Went From Default to Almost Debt-Free appeared first on Student Loan Hero.

from Updates About Loans https://studentloanhero.com/featured/student-loan-default-debt-free/

[thecoroutfitters]

Written by Mike Harris on The Prepper Journal.

When we look at food storage as prepared minded individuals we tend to go through a well-organized, quite thorough systematic matrix.  We do our due diligence to ensure our food has the right amount of calories, proteins, and carbohydrates. Most of us even ensure we put the right  “kinds” of food like fruits and vegetables to supplement. Most preppers don’t have elaborate off-grid gardens or homesteads (less than a fraction of a percentage point of Americans do) and many of the ones that do often use fertilizer (natural or not) to help grow the food they consume.

Many preppers are consumed with the idea of organic which personally I’m not against however as you will see from this article I’m more concerned about food quality and the nutritional properties of the food and the health of the soil than I am with a paid-for certification by a National Organic Program (NOP). Meaning you can grow something “organically” but that doesn’t make it organic legally. This is an importance inference to make especially since most of us buy our food rather than grow it. The last caveat I want to say about #Organic is just because a product says it is organic, that doesn’t automatically mean the quality or the nutritional properties will be superior to those that don’t have that accreditation. Just because I grew something without additives in my backyard and paid an accrediting agent of a NOP doesn’t necessarily make my produce quality better than or on the same level as other producers (accredited or not).

//

Before I dive head deep into this idea of the importance of food-quality and nutritional value lets break the ice with a joke. What is worth less than a penny? The very same penny tomorrow. This all goes to the main point of this article; our fruits and vegetables are becoming more and more dirt poor (nutritionally speaking). A landmark study on the topic of changes in food composition by Donald Davis and his team of researchers from the University of Texas (UT) at Austin’s Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry was published in December 2004 in the Journal of the American College of Nutrition. They studied U.S. Department of Agriculture nutritional data from both 1950 and 1999 for 43 different vegetables and fruits, finding “reliable declines” in the amount of protein, calcium, phosphorus, iron, riboflavin (vitamin B2) and vitamin C over the past half century. Davis and his colleagues found that the declining nutritional content was directly contributed to agricultural practices. Practices such as using Fossil fuel intensive synthetic nitrogen fertilizers, Pesticides, herbicides, fungicides, and nematicides in order to grow food have become the standard practice.

Also with the corporate rise of modifying crops to improve certain favorable traits (size, growth rate, pest resistance) other than nutrition it’s no surprise we see in for-profit institutions trying to get the most “bang for their buck”. Profit is the driving force behind the unsustainable practices in big agriculture. In agriculture creating products with greater yield, pest resistance and climate adaptability have allowed crops to grow bigger and faster meaning more profit. However the down-side being the inability for these institutions to match the nutrients, and phytochemicals levels to keep pace with their rapid growth. The inability for big agriculture to keep pace with the incredible increase of not only population size but also produce consumer desired yield and nutrition output is not a controversial item of discussion it’s merely a fact.

Thanks to scientists, professors and other think tanks like David Thomas, Michael Crawford, Yoqun Wang, Richard Mithen, Donald Davis and many others who have analyzed the empirical data have shown incredible repercussions in our current agriculture (food production) paradigm.  Thanks to these innovative leaders once you analyze the food tables prepared by government scientists between 1951 and 1999 researchers found that potatoes had lost over 90 per cent of their vitamin A and 57 per cent of their vitamin C, while today’s consumers would have to eat eight oranges to get the same amount of vitamin A as their grandparents obtained from one fruit.

These numbers are not just unprecedented but undeniably horrific. As we see an ever increase in soil depletion, the creation of new GMO strains, also coupled with the ever increase in petro-chemical inputs in desperate hopes to match consumer desired output we can only expect that these trends of quality loss, and higher food costs in our commercial market will continue to rise. They will rise until we ultimately reach unsustainability.

What can you do?

So what does this mean to us as “prepared minded” people? In regards to basic food preparedness it most notably means that it will require more and more food to maintain a healthy nutritious lifestyle. This has undeniably caused higher produce costs; it also requires that we have to store more food to meet our nutritional requirements. This is especially a cause for concern when considering most of the popular food items in food preparedness are usually dehydrated foods. Meaning the food was heated up (degrading the already degraded nutritional value) so the water could be extracted. This causes a lighter, longer lasting (the longer food sits, the more nutritional value is lost), easier to store food source that can be reconstituted with water at a later time. So in modern-day 2017 from the time the food is harvested to the time it is consumed as a part of your preparedness planning it has most likely already gone through at least 3 phases of nutritional content degradation. This is not including the fact that food itself was in some circumstances already 8 times less nutritious at harvest then food grown generations past! As I have mentioned earlier this is just looking at it from a basic scratching the surface level of food preparedness.

Understanding where we are currently at in regards to food preparedness, food quality and overall sustainability is nothing short of horrific. But what makes this topic apocalyptic is this unfortunate fact. 99% of everyone who hears this information or reads this article will do absolutely nothing about. Even worse yet, they will continue to perpetuate this paradigm to next generation that will ultimately lead them down the path to unsustainability and ultimately their demise. So what can we do? Well if you are the 99% thank you for reading this far and realize the remaining portion of this article is not for you and I bid you a fair day.

However for the remaining 1% this article was written entirely for you.  I will say as bleak as everything sounds now there is good news. There is an awakening one could say. I’m not advocating for a second that anyone gets rid of his or her food storage and start over, not in the slightest. For those who have already amassed stored foods whether they be dehydrated, freeze-dried, or canned and are worried about nutritional value there are simple and inexpensive ways to ensure you are getting the nutrients, vitamins, and minerals your body needs.

One way is through supplementation. Now I will not say what kind of supplementation your body needs or what brands to get. But for myself I insure I have a bottle of vitamins in every container of food storage I have. A two-month supply of a quality multivitamin/multi-mineral supplement will cost you under $4 at most convenient stores. With this in mind I know these supplements won’t contain everything my body needs but something is way better than nothing. The next thing to look at would be where you are getting your foods currently. If you are like me you will notice right away for higher quality, locally produced food items you may have to pay much more. Figuring how to get the most nutrition for your buck would be your next step. Whether this is through a local retailer, or farmer’s markets or even local hobbyist looking to cover their overhead costs there are options out there.

The next step would be looking into what you can do in the future to produce your own high quality food. If you are like myself and have notice the increased price of easy to grow produce like tomatoes or strawberries it might benefit yourself to have a couple of plants yourself. This not only allows you the benefit of knowing where it comes from. It will also give you the piece of mind of knowing you have the ability to grow your own. Coupled this with the knowledge and learning along the way will really set you up for success in the future.

The last thing and most overlooked way to change this agriculture paradigm is by voting. When I say voting I don’t mean for a person I mean vote with your money, your time and your knowledge. Express to your delegates your displeasure with the costs of food, laws and ordinances that criminalize home gardens or seed banks. In some places having a tomato plant, or sharing heirloom seeds is a criminal offense. So change those laws, ordinances, and red tape that would prevent you as a prepared person from being as prepared as you can be.

When it comes to preparedness our bodies and our minds are literally the most important tools we have as a hedge against conflict, animosity, and disaster. Keeping ourselves healthy is paramount to success this is true not only in preparedness but also in life. We can see in everyday life that our health directives need to be revised. As preppers we should be looking at the modern-day enemies that ravage society. If we look at what’s killing people everyday in this country in drastic numbers we can clearly see it’s not ISIS, it’s not the super volcano or the pole switch. It’s not the masked man crawling through your window. It’s cancer, cardiovascular disease, diabetes and dementia. The Greek physician and philosopher Hippocrates declared nearly 2,500 years ago: “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.” After centuries upon centuries of human evolution, rises in technological advances, the accumulation of countless gigabytes of empirical data and continued endless years of scientific research we can see that he was right as ever!

Sources:

http://www.fruitsandveggiesmorematters.org/what-are-phytochemicals

https://www.growjourney.com/five-amazing-soil-facts-will-change-way-view-world/#.WOHkwGVGxnk

http://www.organicauthority.com/organic-food/organic-food-articles/declining-nutritional-value-of-produce-due-to-high-yield-selective-seed-breeding.html

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/soil-depletion-and-nutrition-loss/

  About the author: Mike Harris is a full-time RV’r spending the last couple years traveling not only the country but all over the world. Being a 4th generation sailor he has not only operated all over the world but grew up experiencing the rich diversities that make this world great but also a dangerous place. He is still Active duty he is a Search and Rescue Corpsman (Flight Medic) and an Aerospace Medical Technician.  His preparedness and desire for sustainability are deep-rooted in reality. Having to endure and face catastrophe is not just a job description but also his personal mission. He has trained both local and federal agencies as well a foreign. He done real life missions he was there during hurricane Sandy and was also apart of the 2515th NAAD. When not working or prepping you can find him traveling the country in his RV, hiking off the beaten path or enjoying much-needed catch up time with friends and family. You can catch his adventures on his YouTube channel.

The post Preppers and Big Agriculture: What You Don’t Know About Food Preparedness! appeared first on The Prepper Journal.

from The Prepper Journal Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag

[withacapitalr]

male privilege is a hell of a drug and it’s been gradually blowing my mind for weeks

(this rant is unedited and i might hate it later, but i’ve been thinking about this for days now and i thought some ppl might want to see my thoughts)

There are fewer than 50 people in the world who see me as a man, and i've only been out as trans to them for less than a year, and i’m already 1) being treated radically differently (my peers let me finish sentences??) and 2) struggling much harder than i anticipated to continue to treat women fairly in words and actions when everything makes it really really convenient to not do that.

this is something i’ve realized only gradually since having the “hey friend, i think i’m a boy” conversation with peers one by one, because it was subtle.  even something this life-changing, happening this far into adulthood, is something that took me months to even notice.  imagine being born into this.  i’m honestly amazed that all men aren’t misogynistic piles of crap - society literally never gave you another option.  nobody stops you from going down that road!  how do men even self-reflect without being fucking interrupted and shushed all the time?

‘cause for all intents and purposes, i grew up as a girl.  i never really was one, but i was treated as one, which has apparently been affecting the way i’ve been treated this entire time?

and the real kicker is before this gradual epiphany, i had stopped thinking about “women’s issues” in those terms.  i’d come to think of femaleness as sort of an extra, modifying, not particularly important decoration on other kinds of oppression.  like, sure, black women have black women’s struggles, and trans women have trans women’s struggles, but surely there was nothing uniting all these experiences beyond the fact that femaleness kinda makes other oppressions worse. 

does that make sense?

i knew femaleness played into intersectional identities as an obstacle.  but i had forgotten that it was an obstacle even on its own, removed from all other obstacles.

until that obstacle was removed from my path.

it is fucking bizarre that feminism seems so much more urgent to me as a man than it ever did as a “woman”, but here we are.  and holy shit guys, women shouldn’t need to turn out to be a trans men to realize that they deserved better than this all along.

i realize i’m probably exaggerating some parts of this for effect but trust me.  i’ve been on both sides of this.  i feel like that square in flatland who’s seen another dimension and will never be the same again.  this is fuckin.  i haven’t even included nonbinary people in this rant because i’m so not-woke, so right in the middle of figuring this out, that i don’t even know how it effects you guys.

i would also like to apologize to every woman and girl in my life, past, present, and future, because it’s so much harder than i thought it would be to avoid just steamrolling you in conversations and projects, but since having this epiphany i’m gonna do everything i can to continue to treat you all exactly how i’d treat my male acquaintances.