#and then immediately started re watching the last of us so i can write an academic paper about it

[shotmrmiller]

A/N: I simply had to join on writing for John 'just the tip' MacTavish so. Here goes. Unedited, its horny its explicit yall know the deal. It was supposed to be a drabble and i got completely carried away. got me out the writing slump tho. any mistakes please ignore. CBF!Johnny because I say so.

Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish x F!Reader

WC: 1.6K

Flipping through Netflix, you hear a rapt at the door. You turn to look at your dad, who gets up quickly as if expecting someone. 

“Johnny, my boy! I’m glad you could make it! Had me thinking you forgot all about us. Come on in!” Your dad pulls Johnny in for an affectionate embrace that he returns immediately.

“Och, yer aff yer heid! As if I could ever forget my second family!” Giving your dad a final pat on the back, Johnny steps back. “Now where’s my girl?” 

Lifting the hand holding the remote, you call out. “Present!” 

Johnny almost trips over the coffee table, rushing to you. He doesn’t wait for you to stand up, just snatches your wrist and lifts you for a hug— your socked feet dangling by his shins. With his strong arms wrapped around you, he pulls you close, nuzzling his face against your neck. “Missed ye, bonnie,” he murmurs, “missed ye so much.” 

As you exhale a wheezy breath, you tell him, “I love you too, Johnny, but I can’t breathe.” One last squeeze, and a squealed “Johnny!” he finally relents, setting you down. 

Hands resting on your shoulders, his striking blue eyes lock onto your face, flicking across your features, as if he was re-memorizing what you look like. His intense gaze rushes blood to your cheeks, but don’t shrink under it. It wouldn’t be the first time your best friend teases you like this. “Somethin’ on my face, Johnny boy?” and bat your lashes at him, “I know I’m staggering to look at, but now you’re just being shameless.” 

He lets out a huff, a small smirk gracing his lips, and mumbles, “Don’t I know it.” Your taunting smile falls off your face at that. What? Before you can even ask him what he means by that, your dad calls him into the kitchen. 

“Johnny! Come get a beer, it’s about to be movie time!” Without breaking eye contact, he answers him, “Aye! Comin’!’ and with a finger tap to the underside of your chin, walks away. Heart pounding against your chest, you head towards your bedroom to get a blanket, hoping the little walk calms the butterflies in your stomach. 

What?

The movie is playing, and Johnny is curled up behind you on the reclined sofa, roughened palm resting on your thigh, occasionally squeezing it. You’re mortified at the slight arousal you’re feeling just at being caressed by Johnny. Johnny. Your best friend. Who has consistently had girlfriends, who will never look at you that way. You’ve never thought of him that way either, granted, but that’s what makes this so embarrassing. Maybe you’re ovulating, biology simply reacting in the presence of a virile male, or something. 

And then you feel the unmistakable bulge of his stiffening cock, faintly pressing against your arse. Gods. Heat radiating off of your face, you bite your lip and try to discreetly wiggle away, for his sake and yours. However, Johnny seems to disagree with your thoughts because he moves his hand from your thigh to grab your hips in a bruising grip, fingers digging into your hipbones, forcing you to be still.

He leans into your ear, warm breath tickling your cheek and softly whispers, “Dinnae move, hen,” and sluggishly starts to rock his hips, erection now firmly rubbing against your sleeping shorts. Johnny’s movements are imperceptible, nonexistent underneath your blanket. Not that it would matter, because the movie is reaching its climax, and all eyes are glued to the screen.

But your mind is solely focused on Johnny— the heat of his hands scorching against your skin, his prominent length hidden underneath his pajama bottoms grinding on you. 

“Lift yer leg a wee bit, hen.” Keeping a watchful gaze on your parents, you silently plead that they won’t notice as you hide your compliance under the guise of trying to make yourself comfortable. Once settled, you lowered your leg and had to bite your tongue with force, to keep the moan from slithering out of your throat. 

His cock, bare, right in between your thighs. Like warm velvet wrapped around steel, thick, heavy, tip pushing against your core with every minute thrust. Johnny moves even closer, arm tight around your waist, hand sliding into your bottoms, heading straight towards your soaked, swollen clit to rub feather-light delectable circles on it.

“I’m gonna stick just the tip in, a’right? I swear,” he says in a hushed tone, as he pulls back to lower the waistband of your shorts to rest on your upper thighs, “just,” he thrusts once, “the”, again, “tip.” and his leaking head slips into your hole— pushing it in until your walls flutter around it. 

“Ye feel incredible, squeeze that tight pus—” your dripping cunt cuts him off, drawing out a hiss of surprise from him. His subdued voice in your ear is so seductive, so bewitching, that you can’t help but clench around him. 

For most of the movie, Johnny languidly thrusts into you, truly keeping to his word. Just the tip— teasing you, making you drip onto the sofa, muted squishy, gooey noises coming from under your blanket, and you couldn’t be bothered by any of it. Flared, ridged head catching on your slippery lips with every drag of his cock. You’re drooling on your hand that covers your mouth beneath the snug blanket— struggling to hold back the mewls and whimpers threatening to escape. 

All of a sudden, Johnny mutters, “The movie’s about ta end, close yer eyes and keep completely still. Stabilize and deepen yer breathin’, hen.” Without hesitation, you do as he says, body going limp in compliance, the only tell-tale sign of your excitability being the rapid pulsing of your jugular on the delicate skin of your neck. 

The TV is turned off, and the living room goes completely silent, apart from the deafening sound of blood rushing in your ears. Johnny behind you feigns quiet snoring, so believable that if it wasn’t for his throbbing cock still at your entrance, you’d think he actually fell asleep.

Your dad’s poor imitation of a whisper cuts through the quiet. 

“They’re asleep, let’s just leave them here.” Footsteps shuffle as they tip-toe around you both, and as they get farther away, Johnny slowly moves his hand to cover yours, truly weighing down on it. The instant their door clicks shut, he uses his other hand to pick up your leg and throw it over your shoulder, and thrusts hard, deep, until his bollocks are flush against your arse. Your nails claw at the hand over your mouth as you scream, your gummy walls stretching against his assault— a burn so exquisite, pleasure teetering on the edge of pain, achingly delicious, it sends tendrils of ecstasy directly into your veins.

He lets out a guttural moan, one only you could hear, private, intimate. “It’s about time ye let me have this sweet pussy, hen.” One vicious thrust that punches the air from your lungs and rattles the sofa, and then another, when he finally speaks again. “Fuck, we hae ta do this when we are nae restricted, hm?” His hips start a slow rhythm, long, unhurried undulating thrusts, and every time he bottoms out, he grinds his pubic bone on your clit, the tip of his cock giving your cervix a lewd kiss. Every time he reaches the entrance of your womb, it feels like he wants to go in further, to go past the dead end, and your cock drunk mind only thinks about how you want him to do it, too. 

“Yer slobberin’ all over my hand, hen. S’that good, is it? Oooh, I ken it is. Only the best fer my girl, hm?” He hisses through clenched teeth, “I’m fuckin’ close. Come f’me. I’m not comin’ until ye cover my cock with yer cream, leave a white ring at the base.” His hips have been moving at the same exact speed he started at, not a stutter in his pattern. As if him fucking you into a puddle of arousal wasn’t taxing on his part. 

Then he does something different, something that threatens to snap that coil in your lower tummy, and along with it your sanity. He starts giving shallow thrusts, never pulling out more than halfway, and makes sure to rub against your clit, giving you that heavenly friction you need. It has you delirious, fervent, and you start moving your own hips, uncaring of how you must look.

Johnny moves his thumb down to your nub, drawing tight, precise, merciless circles on it, and you are thrown over the edge— more like kicked off by a spartan kick from how gut-wrenching your orgasm is ripped from you. Your pleasure is so acute, so powerful that there are needle-like pricks on the shell of your ears. Your body shakes underneath Johnny, pussy throbbing and pulsing with the aftershocks of your blinding climax. 

Drool escapes under Johnny’s palm, dripping down your cheeks and into your hair as you fall back, going completely limp, utterly spent. Finally getting back some coherency, you realize that Johnny’s gone soft inside of you, also drained, as he catches his breath holding himself over you. He removes his hand, uncaring that it’s sticky with your spit, and noses your cheekbone, nudging you to slant his lips over yours, curling his tongue against yours. He swallows the pathetic mewl you let out and presses one final kiss onto your lips. 

“I’ve missed ye, hen. I’m so happy to be here, with ye. Let’s move to your bedroom, and in 10 minutes, I’ll give ye a proper fuckin’.” 

Your eyes close shut as you let out a resigned but elated sigh. 

“I love you too, Johnny.” 

@rookiesbookies and forgive the tag but i had you in mind too @brewed-pangolin ill never do it again unprompted

part 2

[dragonsholygrail]

*rolls into chat*

Hi. I'm sharing this because of your last post btw

Firefighter centaur!

Reader has to help him get all the gear off after a long tiring day because that's a LOT of hair for someone who works with fires and accidents.

*welcomes into chat with open arms*

And omg this is so good!! (I went off, my bad!) I also had to re-write this entire thing when I was almost done because my tumblr crashed and I’m absolutely devastated but worth it for firefighter centaur.

Imagine firefighter centaur works in forest fires so it’s all the more dangerous and on such a bigger scale when he does get called in. Which of course makes reader even more nervous whenever there’s a fire.

Constantly pacing the living room of your shared home, biting your nails, with your eyes latched firmly on to the tv. Not being able to look away for even a second. Just waiting to hear any news about the crew of centaur firefighters as they come in and out of the blazing flames.

Your heart drops heavily into your stomach as you catch sight of him, being able to recognize him anywhere. You find yourself unable to breathe as you watch your partner jump over a burning trunk with ease. All while carrying a handful of nymphs to safety. A couple in his arms and a few riding his back.

Watching your partner be so heroic like that takes your breath away. Or maybe it’s just because you’re relieved he’s alive. Either way it sends a violent need to thrum through your body. A need to go to him and be near him, no matter the risk. You don’t hesitate for a moment and you’re out of the house before you can even turn off the television.

There’s barricades all over the place when you arrive at the scene. Your eyes search frantically around the area, looking for just one feature that you’re familiar with to find him. But your heart is hammering within your chest and your mind spins with more horrible ‘what ifs’ by the minute.

Given your state, it was no surprise to you that he found you first, calling out your name. You whirl around till your eyes fall onto him. Both of you immediately start heading toward each other. You meet in the middle, arms wrapping tightly around each other. Your firefighter centaur smells so thickly of smoke you want to choke. But none of that matters because he’s in your arms and in one piece. No matter how much of his fur is singed.

“What the hell are you doing here? You could have been hurt!” Your partner shouts, sounding almost as frantic as you feel. He leans back enough to cup your face in his hands, looking as though he’s wondering if this is real.

“I saw you- I saw you come through the fire. And there’s so many things on you that it could’ve caught onto. I had to. I had to come. I had to see you and make sure…” you ramble on, words spilling from your mouth. Your mind unraveling now that you know he's sate. "You're alive."

His face softens considerably and he brings you back into his arms.

"Well you got here just in time. I think the fires coming down anyway." He holds you tight and you clutch onto him just as fiercely. Using his strong hold to assure yourself he's really here.

After you both get back to the firehouse you slowly and gently help him take off all his gear. You can tell he's seriously exhausted. Eyes drooping, shoulders slumped, and tail swooshing lazily.

You let him relax as you get started on cleaning up and preparing his gear for washing. It's a rigorous ritual all on its own and you know he's in no state to take care of it right now. But when he blinks his eyes open and realizes what you're doing, it doesn't stop him from trying to do it anyway.

“Hey, stop that. I can do it fine,” he sluggishly tries to interrupt, not wanting you to do his work for him.

All you have to do is shy away from his mindlessly wandering hands, bringing his gear with you. Unintelligible grumbles leave his lips in response.

“I know how to do it. Watched you so many times it would be an insult if I didn’t. I got this,” you assure him.

After all he went through he doesn’t have the energy to fight you on this. When he doesn’t reply you go back to helping situate his gear. You hear the heavy clops of his hooves and a moment later his arms are wrapping around you from behind, his head resting comfortably on top of your head.

“Thank you,” he says softly, those two words alone dripping with appreciation and love for you.

The firehouse is empty, you two being the last ones left to finish up for the night. It’s in that moment, his body curled up around you as you help him in a way that means more than he can describe, that it was as if neither of you had ever felt safer.

[lincolndjarin]

Best Kept Secret

chapter four : sarad'ika (RE-UPLOAD)

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 6.8k

summary : you finally get a chance to see the gardens

warnings, etc. : language, panic attacks, general kodo grossness

A/N : i had to change accounts so this is a re-upload of my ongoing fic bks!!

Sarad'ika. 

You won’t forget it this time, you can’t. So you write it in your book, just under Mando’s favorite color you write the two little words that have been keeping you up at night. Once you get that out of the way you’re left alone in the quiet, wide expanse of your room. You have about ten seconds of time alone with your thoughts before you get restless.

You need a change of scenery, and fast, because it’s taking every single ounce of restraint you have left to not stick your hand back up your dress, lock yourself in your room for the rest of the week, and think about that stupid, stupid dream. Opening the curtains you could see the sun starting to come up, so you pulled the rope that summons the girls because you desperately need a bath. You need to get rid of this dirty feeling that envelops you.

His phantom touch lingers on your skin. He had been so real, you swear you’ll have bruises on your waist when you undress.

Elaine and Lysa can’t get here fast enough, but when they do you’re already halfway out the door. 

“Fresher, bath, now.” You’re still rocking a thin sheen of sweat and your mouth is dry. Lysa doesn’t seem thrown by your tone but you have to shoot Elaine a pleading look to make sure she doesn’t ask. 

“Yes ma’am.” Elaine guides you into the fresher and quickly starts undoing your dress, while Lysa draws the bath. You know your entire body tenses up the moment she starts unlacing your bodice, thank the gods she doesn’t comment on it. You waste no time, the moment you’re free from your garments you step into the bath, you’re still not used to cold bathes like this, back on Hoth you’d pull from hot springs down in the planet's core to heat your water. But you couldn’t be more thankful for the cold now because it seems to be cooling the fire that lingers in your stomach. The girls retreat back to your chambers to prepare your outfit for the day.

“Not green.” You manage to squeak out as you sink lower into the bubbles. Watching them go. Alone with your thoughts again. Focus on something else. Don’t think about the Mandalorian. Think about how unnecessarily big this tub is. It’s less of a bathtub and more of a small pool honestly, you could swim laps in here. You float yourself over to the edge of the tub to find a washcloth, you need to scrub off any imaginary touches that might linger on your skin. You start at your shoulders, your mind manages to stay empty until you get to your chest. Then he’s there again, clear as day, so you try to think about something else, think about the least sexy thing you can, the first thing that comes to mind. 

Your husband. 

Yikes.

Surprisingly that works. You think about Kodo and the ache between your legs vanishes completely until you actually have to wash there. Gods, the last thing you need to do is start touching yourself here and now and have one of the girls walk in, so you make it quick, squeeze your eyes shut and shove the washcloth between your thighs and don’t think about him.

But you can’t get away from him, after a moment you open your eyes slowly and it’s like he’s right in front of you.

Fuck he’s actually right in front of you. The door to the fresher is wide open and it’s like he’s frozen in time, one hand on his blaster, the other on the door handle. His visor fixed on you. 

He lingers way too long, you both know it.

Finally, in sync you both seem to snap out of it. He immediately turns ninety degrees to stare at the wall. You know he’s apologizing but you can’t hear him over the ringing in your ears as you feel your face turning crimson. You’re doing everything in your power to cover yourself with the bubbles but you know he definitely saw something, for Makers sake he was ogling you for a second there. There is a beat where it’s silent, you’re staring at him and he’s staring at the wall and finally you find your voice.

“Get out!” You’re covering your chest with one hand as you point at the door with the other. It might be the first time you’ve ever seen him stumble, Elaine walks in as he’s rushing out, wordlessly brushing past her, her eyes go wide as she turns from him to you. Your head is in your hands now. “I think I’m done.” She wraps you in a towel as you stand. She’s grabbing another towel to dry your hair as she extends a hand to help you step out. Guiding you to a stool and sitting you down, humming softly as she pats your hair dry. So much for the cold helping, now it feels like your entire body is on fire. 

“He was just worried.” She says it matter of factly and you whip your head around to stare at her.

“What?” 

“He was worried about you. We were in the closet when he barged in, all he saw was your bedroom doors wide open, and an absence of you. By the time I stepped out into the hall he was throwing doors open.” She smirks as she turns you back around so she can finish drying you off. 

“He should have knocked…” You grumble as you cross your arms in front of your chest. 

“Go easy on him, it’s the first time in what? Three weeks? Four weeks? He’s never been in a situation where he’s shown up to retrieve you and you weren’t there, he probably thought you were spirited away in the few hours he wasn’t keeping an eye on you.” Once your hair is mostly dry she starts loosely braiding it. 

“I’m capable of surviving an hour without him.” You huff, you know she’s probably right. And there is a small part of you that kind of likes how much he seemingly cares. 

“You’re his responsibility. I think it’s sweet how he takes his job so seriously.” 

“Of course you think it’s sweet, he doesn’t follow you around like he’s your shadow.” You mumble but she laughs it off. 

“Come on, Lysa is probably alone with him right now and freaking out, so we better not keep her waiting.” She covers you with a robe and takes you by the arm, ushering you back to your chambers. 

You didn’t know it was possible to look ashamed through so many layers of metal and fabric, but there he is, standing outside your quarters like always except now he’s strung-out. You swear you catch his fingers clenching into a fist for a moment before brushing past him to get dressed, Elaine closing the door behind you before rushing over to Lysa. You’re standing in front of the mirror now and you can see them whispering to each other, you don’t bother trying to get involved when you see Lysa suppress a giggle. 

They dress you in a lightweight pink gown, you’re thankful that they seemed to pick up on your distaste for heavy makeup as they do it much more simply, and before you can stop them they’re leaving. And now you have to sit and stare at yourself in the vanity, putting off the inevitable. It was going to be hard enough facing him without the whole bath incident but now it feels a thousand times worse. But you can’t put this off forever so you might as well get over it. Gritting your teeth you open the door and step out, before you can even look at him he’s rambling.

“I’m so sorry, I thought something might have happened to you, I assumed the worst and it was stupid and I should have knocked but I was worried and I promise I didn’t see anything and-” He stares at the floor the entire time and his words are rushed and quiet. 

“Stop.” You cut him off. You had been prepared to let him grovel but the moment you heard how genuinely distressed he sounded you had decided to forgive him. You didn’t even know it was possible for him to sound so rattled, he’s acting like he saw a ghost.

“Stop?” He sounds like he’s got way more speech prepared and honestly, you don’t wanna hear it. 

“It’s fine. It was an honest mistake and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” He hesitates for a moment. “But I am sorry.”

“Stop it.” You glare at him but start walking in the opposite direction of the library. “But… if you’re really sorry I know how you can make it up to me.”

“Anything.” Well you were gonna ask him to take you to the gardens but if he was offering up anything. It’s almost like he can read your mind because he immediately shoots you a warning look. “Within reason.” Damn it. Gardens it is. 

“I believe you still have a promise to fulfill?” You stop at the fork in the hallway, no longer sure of where you’re going. It takes him a second to realize what you’re implying but after a moment he nods towards the right and walks slightly ahead of you instead of trailing behind. 

By the time you make it outside and to the forest trail neither of you have spoken. There’s still an oppressive tension looming over you both. You can’t look at him and seemingly he can’t look at you. 

Of course in your case it’s because last night he had stared in your own personal porno and in his case he just saw you naked and you just so happen to be married to the guy who pays his salary. 

Maker, is this even salvageable at this point? Do you want to salvage this? 

You have to. This is all you have. Even if you hate him, (although you’re not even sure if that’s still true) even if some small part of you is attracted to him, (you also aren’t sure that part is all that small anymore) even if he saw your tits this morning, (he definitely did.) He’s all you’ve got at this point. So yes, you want to salvage this. All you have to do is say something, if you say the right thing you can fix this whole mess. If you say the wrong thing he might never be able to look at you ever again but that has to be a risk you’re willing to take and your mind moves faster than your mouth as you blurt out what might be the dumbest thing you could possibly say right now.

“Are we friends?” Gods, are you a child? He doesn’t stop walking, doesn’t stop to look at you. His stride never wavers as he continues marching down the trail.

“I don’t have friends.” Well shit. Big surprise the guy who’s paid to spend time with you doesn't consider you a friend. “But, you are probably the closest thing I have to a friend. Even if you don’t have a choice in the matter of my presence.” He finally turns to look at you. Maker, he sounds genuine, why is your heart fluttering, he called you a friend, it doesn’t get less sexy than that. “Am I your friend?” Did his voice just crack? You’re imagining things. 

“Well, I talk to you more than anyone else, I spend more time with you than anyone else, so I suppose you’re also the closest thing I have to a friend.” You’re about to say something snarky to make your statement less mushy but you step out of the trees and your eyes go wide.

It’s nothing like they say it is in books. You’d always imagined a garden to be one big mass of the same shade of green but it’s so much more than that. There’s so many different greens, they all stick out, and there’s so many other colors, nothing back on Hoth that compared to this. You’d all but forgotten about Mando as you just gawked. It was massive, you could probably spend all day walking and never step on the same spot twice. There’s so much you don’t even know where to start. 

You didn’t even know real flowers could be that brightly colored. You’d only ever owned fake flowers growing up because nothing would grow in the cold, the sharp hues of your plastic lilies would look pathetic next to these. These were alive, they swayed in the wind. Bugs flew through the petals. Everything felt alive. Up until this point you had not found one part of this planet that you liked more than home, but this was better than anything you’d ever had a chance to see. 

“Does it live up to your expectations?” He’s next to you now, you don’t understand how he’s looking at you and not the field, you can’t tear your eyes off of it. You want to hug him. Well, no, that would be inappropriate, but you’re so thankful you almost don’t care. 

All things considered you probably shouldn’t even be alone with him at this point with your combined track record the only things that happen when you’re in the same vicinity are arguments. And now nudity. But you’re so happy you don’t give a shit. You’re so happy that when he holds his arm out to you, you take it without a second thought and let him lead the way. 

You wonder if you’ve been this happy since you arrived. Have you been happy at all since you found out you were promised to Kodo? You can’t recall. He’s very thorough, he makes sure you get to see everything, every flower, vine, leaf and root. Everytime he stops in front of something so you can get a good look he waits until you move first, to make sure you’ve had your fill of every single thing. When you ask him questions about the flora he seems almost embarrassed that he doesn’t have answers for you. It’s kind of cute. You don’t know how long you stay like that, arm in arm. You don’t even hear him when he finally speaks, you’re completely captivated by a butterfly.

“What?” It isn’t the usual tone you take with him, there’s a warmth to your tone that you typically reserved for people back home. 

“I asked if you wanted to play a game.” Well you certainly weren’t expecting that.

“What kind of game?” You can’t help but be skeptical, even though you don’t think he’d try and ruin your good mood and you want to trust him. This just seems out of character for him.

“Well, since we’re almost friends with each other, I thought we might get to know each other better. That’s what friends do, they know things about each other.” His voice is casual and he sounds almost relaxed. It suits him. And he’s right, friends should know each other. 

Friends are good. Friends are safe. Friends don’t have sex dreams about each other. You should be friends. That’s the safest thing to be, and it would be nice to have a friend. 

“So what… we just ask each other questions? That doesn’t sound like a game, it sounds like a conversation.”   

“Sounds like someones scared of losing.” He looks straight ahead as the two of you begin walking towards what appears to be a lake, there’s a gazebo next to it and a few other things you can’t make out in the distance. You can’t help but scoff.

“Fine. What are the rules?” 

“It’s simple, we ask each other questions but you can choose not to answer, you can pass. First person to pass on three questions loses.” Well this seems easy enough, and he’s so secretive you’ll win without a doubt. 

“Okay, but I get to go first.”

“Of course.” Is he smiling under the helmet? He probably has a nice smile. Is that something friends think about each other? Who cares, you can let this one thought slide, it's innocent enough. you hesitate for a moment, why not start simple. 

“Where are you from?”

“Pass.”

“You can’t be serious.” 

“Deadly serious.” His tone is still light so you know you haven’t struck a nerve. How odd. 

“Okay so wait, what do I get if I win? Since it’s obvious I’m going to.” That gets a genuine chuckle from him. It’s nice. It’s not as bassy as his voice is, but it’s still low, raspy and authentic. You want to hear it again. 

“What do you want?” 

For you to grope me in front of a mirror? 

Well friends don’t certainly ask friends for that. What did you want? 

“I want a question.”

“Well that just doesn’t make sense princess, we’re playing a question game.”

“No, the winner gets to ask the other person a question and they have to answer. No passing.” You know you have a smug look on your face, you already know what you’re going to ask. He thinks about it for a long time, long enough that you’re worried that he might say no.” 

“Okay. Deal. Where are you from?” You’ve reached the gazebo now and you both take a seat. You rest your arms on the railing so you can stare at the lake. 

“Hoth.”

“I didn’t know Hoth could sustain life.”

“We live underground, why did you take this job?” You kind of expect him to pass again but he answers without missing a beat.

“I needed the credits. This was the highest paying job.” 

“Why did you need money?” You pull your eyes away from the water to look at him, you’re kind of surprised to find his helmet already facing you and not the scenery, it’s gorgeous here. 

“It isn’t your turn.” He asks again before you can protest. “What’s your family like?” You consider passing but it could be worse. 

“I have eight siblings and I’m really close with them. Well I was. I never got that close with my parents, small colony royalty, they liked to act like they were above it all so in our colony of less than 500 people who had nothing to do, we had nannies.” You can’t help but roll your eyes at the memory. He nods slowly but doesn’t ask for a follow up so you just ask your next question. “Did you like being a bounty hunter?” 

“I don’t really feel anything towards it. It was work, I didn’t hate it, I didn’t love it. I was just good at it.” He doesn’t even have his usual tone of arrogance, he says it like it’s a fact. “Did you choose to marry him?”

“Pass.” You respond way too quickly, and you know you’re practically giving him the answer by passing. But you don’t want to say it, don’t want him to feel sorry for you. “When do you eat and drink?” He chuckles again, Maker, you want to marry that laugh, you want to make love to that laugh, you want to bury yourself alive and die in that laugh. Nope, that’s not a normal thing friends think about each other you fucking weirdo.  

“When you aren’t looking.” 

“What? That doesn’t make any-”

“No follow up questions.”

You play for a long time, going back and forth until the sun is much lower in the sky. It’s exhilarating to have a real conversation go on this long, the two of you don’t even argue (for the most part.) He tells you so much about himself that you can hardly remember all of it, you keep a mental list of your favorite things. 

“Did you really read the Smitten Paladin?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have a little straw in your helmet so you can drink stuff?”

“No.”

“Do you sweat a lot in all those layers?”

“Sometimes.” 

“Is your name really Mando? Cause that��s, like, super convenient if it is.”

“It’s not.”

“What is your name?”

“Pass.” 

“What color is your hair?”

“Brown.”

Now you’re tied, whoever passes next loses. You had passed earlier when he had asked if you wanted the rest of your books back. Cocky son of a bitch. When you had asked if he had read them all he responded with, “ Not yet.” You need to win. So you think long and hard until you come to a question you’re sure he won’t answer. 

“Where are your quarters?” You give him a satisfied smirk, let's see him worm his way out of this one. 

“Why do you want to know?” 

Yikes. He’s got you there. Do friends usually ask friends where they sleep? Doesn’t matter, you’re so close to the win that you just deflect. 

“Are you gonna pass?” 

He takes a minute. A long minute, just staring at the lake, and you’re ready to accept the win when he points out past the water.

“There’s a cabin just on the edge of the pond. I live there.”

You’re so shocked he actually answered that you don’t even care that he didn’t pass, you squint and sure enough there it is, you’re surprised you didn’t see it before but it blends in so well with the trees. There’s a small cabin by the edge of the water. You have a million follow up questions but of course he cuts you off before you can ask any of them.

“What did you mean when you said I was your least favorite?”

Shit. You can’t believe he remembers that. Gods you don’t want to lose, and you can’t bring yourself to lie because you would always know your win wasn’t real and there’s no satisfaction in that. So you sigh.

“My first couple of days here I was very bored so I made a list of my favorite people here.” You can feel your face getting hot. He must be getting used to seeing you get red like this, it practically happens hourly at this point. “You used to be on the bottom of the list but now you aren’t.” 

“Where am I now?” There is no hurt in his voice, just speculation. He’s leaning closer to you now. You can’t help but close your eyes and just enjoy his smell for a fleeting moment. Smoke, metal, and fresh linen. That last one is a bit shocking, he must have other flight suits that all look the same. 

“No follow up questions.” You smirk. “How did you know I left my room that one night I snuck out to the library if you live across the lake?” 

“Pass.” You don’t even get to enjoy the win because you’re a little disappointed that you don’t get to know the answer. “You win princess.” He stands and holds out his arm again and you quickly take it as you start walking back in the direction of the trail. When had it gotten so dark? The sun was nearly set and you’d hardly even noticed. You’d spent the whole day out here. 

You want to ask your question immediately but the moment you open your mouth he speaks. 

“We should do this more often.” He sounds so carefree, it catches you off guard

“The game?”

“No, but we can do that as well if you’d like, but I meant getting out of the castle.” Honestly the thought of being out more often thrills you, you just aren’t sure what the rules for that are since you married into the royal family.

“I would love to get out to the garden more often.” You whisper it, almost just to yourself. 

“Not just the garden. Have you ever seen the rest of this planet?”

“No.” You haven’t even been off of the royal grounds. 

“Okay, new deal. On the first day of the week we go somewhere, even if it is just the gardens.” Your heart skips a beat. He has a day now, just like Kodo, Mando has his own day. You wish you could keep the dopey grin off your face. 

“Deal.”

You don’t speak until you're back inside the castle, you don’t even speak when you walk through the halls, you’ve finally found a comfortable silence with each other. You do of course unlink your arms, you don’t know why you both feel the need to pull away at the same time. After all you’re just friends, but you do anyway. Now you’re at the door to your chambers and Leo is waiting for you, impatiently tapping his foot. 

“You didn’t attend any of your meals.” His voice is short, clearly upset with you. You give him an apologetic look, and you are hungry. 

“Sorry… I guess I just lost track of time, if you bring dinner to my chambers I’ll eat now.” Normally you’d just go to the dining hall but you want one more moment alone with Mando. Leo eyes the two of you but takes his leave.

“As you wish, ma’am.” As he begins walking away you turn back to your steel companion. 

“You owe me one more question.” You grin up at him. You wish you could see if he was smiling too. 

“Ask away, princess.” He puts his hands on his hips as the helmet turns down towards you. 

“What does sarad'ika mean?” You say a silent prayer that this doesn’t ruin the perfect day you’ve had. He doesn’t respond or move for quite some time. Your stomach is in knots and you start mentally cursing yourself out for bringing this up again. But he clears his throat and when he does speak it’s so unexpectedly gentle you almost take a step back.

“In Mando’a, sarad means flower, or bloom, and ika means little.” 

Little flower. 

He had called you little flower. 

You don’t think friends call each other little flower. 

You honestly aren’t sure what to say so you just sort of nod, but you don’t want him to feel like he upset you so when you open the door to your room you turn back towards him one last time. 

“Thank you Mando. I had a really nice day.”

“Good night princess.”

“Good night.” You close the door. 

You wish he had called you sarad'ika again. ✩

The next three cycles are the best you’ve had so far. 

You don’t talk about your question and honestly that’s fine because you still aren’t sure how you feel about it. But being friends with Mando is nice, once you convince him that you aren’t going to bolt the second he looks away you actually get him to read a few books, you’re surprised he never picked something up until now considering how much time you two actually spend in the library. You stick with your fiction novels and are surprised to find how much he enjoys history books. He's a fast reader and matches your pace of a book or two a day. 

But it’s the fifth cycle of the week. Which means you’re dolled up in blue and you have dinner with your husband tonight. You haven’t seen Kodo since your last dinner when he humiliated you so you aren’t exactly excited. Something tells you Mando isn’t all that thrilled either, he’s quiet today. He’s always quiet until you get him going but you aren’t feeling chatty today so neither is he. You both read in silence for as long as you can until finally you can’t put it off any longer and you loudly slam your book shut and stand. 

“We should probably get going.” You smooth out the wrinkles in your dress from sitting so long. He doesn’t speak, only nodding as he stands, setting his book down on top of yours. You begrudgingly make your way down the hall and are thrown off by the amount of noise coming from the dining hall, when Mando opens the large doors for you you’re shocked to see nearly a dozen men eating, Kodo is seated at his typical spot, the head of the table and he stands as he sees you. 

“Wife! So good of you to join us! I thought I’d invite some of my brothers and cousins to dine with us tonight.” He’s just as drunk if not drunker than he was last time and much to your discomfort the rest of the men don’t seem much different. Taking a nervous step inwards Mando starts to close the doors once the two of you are inside. “One moment Mandalorian, you won’t be needed tonight. Afterall, it’s just family.” There’s suddenly ice in your veins. You spent so much time trying to get rid of him you hadn’t thought about what would happen when he wasn’t there to protect you.

“I’ve sworn myself to her, I’ll stay” A chill runs up your spine. You’d gotten so used to his voice being lighthearted and gentle that it sends a jolt through you to hear him speaking so sternly. You don’t recognize the tone, even from your first few days with him. More importantly, when the hell did he swear himself to you? Was that a part of the job Kodo was paying him to do? It seems a bit severe for a bodyguard gig. 

Kodo doesn’t seem in the slightest affected by the inflection of his voice even though the other men in the room look wary.

“I insist, Mandalorian. Take the night off.” He holds his cup towards the two of you before he sits back down and starts rambling to the men, seemingly picking up where he left off on some sort of hunting story. You turn, your eyes wide with worry towards Mando, you want to beg him to stay, you want you grab him by the shoulders and plead with him to not leave you alone but you know that he can’t. Even if he wanted to. It’s not like he can fight every royal family member, all the staff, and the half dozen battle droids that trailed behind Kodo. He turns to leave and you turn back towards the table but before he opens the door you hear him whisper just loud enough so only you can hear it. 

“I’ll be right outside. Nothing’s gonna happen to you.” And then he’s gone, the doors close with a loud thunk and you pull up a chair. 

Surprisingly Mando’s promise helps you relax, you sip your wine and you don’t have too bad of a time. It’s a miracle that the presence of all of Kodo’s relatives is a bit of a blessing. Sure, the room being full of men originally was absolutely terrifying but they keep his attention off of you and you quickly realize that they’re too scared to even look at you, you don’t understand that bit for a while until in an instant it clicks. 

You’re Kodo’s. 

He calls you wife because that’s all you are. You belong to him, therefore it would be an insult to Kodo to leer at you. As disheartening as that is, it's a bit of a relief and you’re able to enjoy most of your dinner until the servants come around and take your plates, which is a welcome sight because it means you can leave. Funnily enough you miss Mando standing behind your shoulder. You feel almost empty without him looming although you suppose you’re bound to feel that way after spending four full weeks by each other's sides. You’re eager to get back to him, to feel the safety of his presence and you’re about to stand up and leave when Kodo’s voice fills the room, commanding the attention of everyone present. 

“Isn’t she just a gem?” In the blink of an eye everyone's heads are turned towards you. “Such a pretty little thing,” His grin is viscous and the way he says it makes your skin crawl. “aren’t you princess?” You hate the way it sounds coming from his mouth, and not in the same way you “hate” it when Mando says it. You detest the way Kodo says it.

But he’s so drunk a small wind could knock him over. You can handle this. If you can tease a Mandalorian you can subdue a douche bag prince.

“Thank you, my prince.” You bite back the venom that inevitably tries to seep out. 

“Don’t you all think she’s lovely?” Once everyone's eyes are on you, you feel less confident. You wish he would just go back to calling you bland as the men nod and hum in agreement. You feel sick. It’s like having dinner with a dozen Kodo’s, they all have the same dull blonde hair and unpleasant voices. You’re preparing to leave again when what you assume is a cousin speaks up. He looks like he has a few years on Kodo and you know that the prince is the eldest of his brothers. 

“When do you plan on getting her pregnant?” 

You want to throw up. You can’t stand the way they talk about you like you aren’t even there. 

Kodo’s grin widens.

“I think we’ll wait. My father is still young and if her looks are her only redeeming quality, I'd like to keep them intact for as long as possible.” The table erupts in laughter and you think about throwing your wine glass at him. Would that be considered treason? You don’t know so you just tune them out, you know they’re still talking about you, they do for a while.

So you drink your wine and stare straight ahead. Now that Kodo has seemingly given them permission to speak of you they don’t stop. Every once in a while you’ll catch a sentence or two and you have to swallow down the bile that threatens to erupt from your throat. They’re shameless, and they’re vulgar. The only thing that keeps you seated is that you know that none of them will lay a hand on you. It’s the only perk to being seen as nothing more than an extension of your husband. They won’t touch you because you’re his. You have a hard time finding comfort in that fact. 

After what feels like an hour you stand up, your chair screeching loudly against the wood.

“I’m rather tired. I think I shall retire to my chambers.” You don’t bother hiding the repulsion from your voice but Kodo only smiles and nods as you turn to leave. 

“Goodnight, wife.”

“Goodnight, husband. ”

You don’t turn back around until you’re out of the room. 

You let out a sigh of relief once the doors are closed and immediately look for Mando, you don’t see him at first and a wave of betrayal washes over you. Did he leave? He had promised to stay. Could you even be mad at him for leaving? Kodo offered him the night off, he hasn’t had so much as an hour off since he started. You think back to what he had said weeks ago.

“You’re a full time job, sarad'ika.” 

You hadn’t even thought of how draining that must be until now. 

But he had promised. 

Stop being a cry baby, don’t act like some heartbroken little girl, you’re being overdramatic. 

You only get a few steps away from the dining hall when you almost trip over something and when you look down he’s there. He had been so still you’d missed him entirely. He’s too still. He should have said something by now, or gotten up. There’s a sinking feeling in your stomach as you look around. Kodo dismissed all the guards on this floor except for the several repurposed battle droids in the dining hall that served as his personal guard, there’s no one here to help you as you kneel down directly in front of him. His back is against the wall and his knees are bent, hands folded in front of him.

“...Mando?” you say it as delicately as you can manage, leaning your head forward so you’re in his direct line of sight. “Mando are you alright?” Is he shaking? “Mando, I need you to talk to me.” You can hear the anxiety in your own voice, echoing through the silent hallway. He doesn’t move so you just say fuck it and crawl between his legs so you can rest your ear against his chest, it isn’t easy with the chestplate but you settle in just above it. 

Maker, his heart is racing.

You pull back and stare into the helmet. The concern is apparent in your expression as you place both hands on the sides of his helmet as you would when holding someone's face. His chest is rising and falling too fast.

“Can you breathe Mando? I need you to talk to me, can you breathe through the helmet?”

Fuck you can’t tell. You lean in closer, resting your temple against the Beskar until you can hear his breaths. The modulator isn’t even picking them up, you’re hearing them through the steel.

It sounds like he’s hyperventilating. 

“It’s me Mando. I need you to tell me you're okay or I’m going to have to take your helmet off to make sure you can breathe.” Gods, you don’t want to have to do this. You whisper your own name a few times to him. “It’s me Mando, I’m right here.” You’re about to do it, you don’t know what other options you have so you squeeze your eyes shut tight and grip the steel of his helmet and take in a deep breath, in the beat of silence before you can bring yourself to do it you hear the modulator crackle.

“Are you hurt? It’s like he’s just waking up as his hands fly to your hips, holding onto you like he can’t even believe you’re real. The modulator barely picks up his murmur. But you drop your hands down and rest them on his shoulders as you sigh in relief. Thank the stars.

“No, I’m okay.” 

He’s nearly incoherent as he speaks softly and quickly you barely catch most of it, the modulator doesn’t pick up the majority of it so you have to listen closely to hear his voice through the helmet, he’s still struggling to catch his breath.

“I didn’t know what to do… never felt so useless… never frozen up before… could hear everything… to rip his tongue out… talked about you like that… if any of them had touched… would have broken down that damn door … wouldn’t care about the stupid droids…”

All animosity you had ever felt towards the man in front of you vanished, even if temporary. Because that’s all he was right now. He wasn’t the Mandalorian, right now he was only a man. 

“I’ve never… don’t understand what… wanted to stay… what if you… too many droids…” You press your forehead against his helmet to try and hear better and you finally manage to put together a couple sentences. “I couldn’t just go in, because if I got hurt, who would look after you? I can’t protect you from a jail cell, I’ve never had to worry about that before…”

You can’t take the way his voice shakes so you hold his helmet in your hands again and tilt it upwards to meet your gaze.

“Hey… I am okay.” You enunciate each word as you stare into the strip of black. “Nothing happened, I am unharmed.” You take his hand in yours and bring it up to your face so it cradles your cheek. “See? I’m okay, nothing happened to me. And if something was going to happen to me you would stop it. Okay?”

You sit like that for several minutes. Knelt between his legs, rubbing your thumb gently against the helmet as his unmoving hand rests on your face. 

It takes him a while but his breathing finally seems to level out. When he speaks again he’s loud enough for the modulator to pick up and it’s jarring how normal he suddenly sounds. 

“It’s late, you should be in bed.” 

“Okay.” You’re just happy he’s okay.

Although now you feel a bit self conscious about the position the two of you are in. But it’s like he reads your mind as he puts his hands on your waist and easily lifts you as he gets to his feet. You don’t have a chance to say anything before he’s already walking. You just follow, and when you arrive he opens the door to your chambers for you. 

You want so desperately to speak. You want to comfort him, you want to say anything to let him know that you’re okay, that he’s okay, but he speaks first. 

“Good night princess.” He says it with a finality that lets you know that there will be no further discussion on what just happened. That tomorrow you will act as if this never happened. But you don’t want that.

“Good night, Mando.” 

He waits for you to close the door, you wait for him to walk away. But neither of those things happen. So instead, because the two of you are just friends, you open the door a little wider. 

“Do you wanna come in?”

I am no longer doing taglists so follow @lincolndjarinnotifs and turn on notifications to be notified when new chapters are posted !!

[scarletwinterxx]

i was enchanted to meet you - jeno

hiiiiii - 7llin with dream got me writting again🥺 Jeno's just soooo cute in that content, my heart is so weak for him. Enjoyyyyyy

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"Pst"

You look over beside you, coming face to face with Jeno

"What?"

"Why are you glaring at the screen like that?" he asks, he's been watching you stare at your laptop screen like that for a few minutes before deciding to ask you. That made you relax your face "I was squinting, I forgot my glasses in my other bag so I can't really see anythi-"

Your sentence got cut off when you see Jeno take something out of his bag, "Knew you'd forget it"

You take it from him, quickly putting your glasses on. Immediately everything becomes clearer

"That's so much better, thanks Jen" you smile at him which he gladly returns

Jeno has become some sort of human reminder for you. He's always there whenever you forget something, from your glasses to your keys to your appointments you sometimes forget.

He sometimes teases and nags you about it but secretly he loves it. He likes how you need him, and he likes taking care of you. It's like second nature to him now.

You on the other hand is like Jeno's defender, he's an introvert and you have no problem dealing with everyone and everthing else. The two of you balance each other out.

"I can't find the salt we need, should we go to another store?" he asks you.

The two of you are getting groceries, one of your favorite activities to do together. It's very domestic, but even the most mundane activities excites you when you do it with him

"Did you ask someone, maybe they have some in the back or something" you tell him, putting some other things in the cart

When he didn't reply to you, you looked over at him seeing the small pout on. You already knew what that meant.

Walking towards him, you loop your arm with his pulling him to the other aisle "Do we need the salt, like really need it?" you ask

"We have salt at home, but the recipe said we need this one" he answer

"Salt is salt, let's just use the one at home" you tell him, resolving the mini dilemma of your introverted boyfriend.

You grab other necessities like ramen, bread, milk and cereals.

“Who puts ice in milk and cereals?” Jeno asks, watching you put the mlik in the cart

“I do, and don’t hate on it until you’ve tried it. I've been telling you for so long to give it a try”

“Sounds... disgusting"

“It’s just cold milk, dude” you tell him. The first time you told him you enjoyed your cereal in the morning with ice and milk, you thought he'd be weirded out but instead he just nodded and got you a glass of ice to put in your cereal.

From that moment on you knew he's the one for you.

The memory made you smile, looking over at Jeno before hugging him sideways.

"What?" he asks confused

"Nothing, just remember how you didn't say it was weird when we ate breakfast the first time. You even got me ice"

He chuckles, putting his arm over you to hold you by the waist. One hand on the shopping cart.

"Definitely left a lasting impression, I would say"

"Oh so me eating my cereal with ice left more of an impression than the night we met?" you ask jokingly

He smiles, then leans down towards you "I mean I'll never forget the night we met when you literally fell for you. Like landed right on my lap"

"It's been years, I told you Renjun pushed me"

"Mhm, love you too" he teases you

He remembers that night too, like it happened yesterday. The night started out like any other party he's been too, he was just lounging in the living room when all of a sudden someone lands on his lap.

That was the first time he met you.

You apologized over and over again, embarrassed out of your mind but Jeno being the gentleman that he is assured you it was okay. You thought that was the last you'll see of him but turns out it was the start of a beautiful relationship.

"Question, can I take this hoodie home with me?"

Jeno hears you from behind him, taking a quick look while the game loads to see you wearing one of his many hoodies.

One of many you claimed your own ever since you started dating. He wonders why you still ask until now when you always end up wearing it

"Take your pick" he says, "This is my pick for the week, also remind me to buy your fabric softener. I love this smell"

Jeno smiles at you, opening his arms inviting you in for a hug. You trudge towards him, letting his arms wrap around you. He pulls you on his lap, the gaming chair moves a bit before he turns it back towards his computer.

"You're going to play like this?" you ask him, your adorable boyfriend nods before giving your nose a peck

"You sure?" you ask again, instead of answering you with words he just hugs you even closer. Tucking you under his chin while you hear him type away on his keyboard

"Alright then, not gonna lie I can take a nap like this" you yawn, resting your head on the crook of his neck

"Go rest, baby. I'll hold you"

You smile at his words, feeling relaxed in his arms. Jeno knows you struggle sleeping. It gives him joy whenever he sees you asleep on his bed or on the couch in his dorm or most times on his lap whenever the two of you are cuddling.

It's like a super power only he has, you feel safe and comfortable with him your mind just forgets all the noise and finally get the rest it needs.

If you're being honest, you've probably slept more soundly on his bed with him than on your bed. The only time you can fall asleep easily on your bed is when he's with you.

After a few rounds, Jeno logs out and turns his computer off. Gently lifting you up in his embrace before walking towards the bed to lay you gently.

He goes out the room to check around the apartment before going back into bed with you. Plugging both of your phone on the charging dock before turning to face your sleeping figure, he can't help but admire you.

Even when you're asleep, you still amaze him. He's enchanted with you. Ever so gently he scoots over to cuddle you, tucking you in his arms like he's shielding you from the world before whispering a quick 'good night, i love you' in your ear.

[hotwaterandmilk]

With the Pumpkin Scissors manga off hiatus and volume 24 set to come out in Japan next month, I've started re-reading the series. While I'm still not well, I really wanted to put together a brief post encouraging new readers to check it out because it is woefully neglected given the strength of its writing. Plus hey, legally available in digital format in the US via Kodansha -- easy to check out for many of you!

What's it about?

Pumpkin Scissors is set in the aftermath of a great war between the European (German)-inspired Empire and the Republic of Frost that has now been resolved via treaty. To keep money flowing, the Empire's Imperial Army commissions a small military unit to serve as a propaganda platoon by providing visible war relief efforts across the decimated country. However, this small but dedicated unit (State Section III aka "Pumpkin Scissors") actually tries to make a difference despite their limited funding and powers, finding themselves drawn into all sorts of dramatic and brutal post-conflict scenarios as the Empire itself reckons with the ghosts of its past.

At the centre of the story are Alice L. Malvin, second-in-command of the Pumpkin Scissors unit and Randel Oland, a new recruit to the team. Alice comes from a noble background and has lofty ideas about justice, while Randel is a gentle a veteran who served during the war and struggles to reconcile his past and present selves. These two couldn't be more different but for Randel, who was left without purpose after the war, stumbling upon the determined Alice and finding himself ushered into a unit dedicated to war relief could give him the direction he needs to go forward.

Why is it worth reading?

Don't let the rough early art or medicore anime adaptation fool you, once you get past the first major arc in the Pumpkin Scissors manga it grips onto you and won't let go. I cite the anime specifically here because even if you've watched it you're probably not entirely sold on the Pumpkin Scissors manga as a result of the ho-hum adaptation (which you can watch on Crunchyroll). However, the anime ends at a point that is basically this meme given form:

Because where the manga goes next after the final arc shown in the anime is is absolutely phenomenal. Hostage situations, terrorism, ridiculously intense tank fights. The war is over in this story but it is so deeply ingrained in every character, town and situation that its claws will never let go of anyone in this world. In that sense, with each arc building on the last, the series goes from being about superifical "war relief" to the lingering atrocities of war gradually enough that you don't even realise you're holding your breath while reading until something humorous happens to break the tension.

The author Iwanaga uses this smothering atmosphere effectively, with each successive arc peeling back more and more about the horrors of war and the difficulty of surviving after participating in the unthinkable.

However, Pumpkin Scissors never loses a sense of hope. Randel and Alice are both driven to achieve something that feels unfairly far out of their reach, but they never give up and they continue to inspire others along the way. I feel this sense of hope, this desire to improve society and to never remain satisfied with the pre and post-war status quo, is what helps Pumpkin Scissors avoid feeling too bleak even when dealing with some extremely heavy topics.

When you think about it, so many series are set during war but few opt to look at the immediate aftermath of conflict and how things don't ever really go back to normal. In this sense, I think if you liked a lot of the observations made in Golden Kamuy (which also has a cast inhabiting an in-between space post-conflict) then Pumpkin Scissors may also appeal to you.

While the Pumpkin Scissors unit are our heroes, there are no punches pulled regarding the Empire itself - be it how corrupt the military is, how useless the politicians are, or how abominable the country's wartime acts. Nobody is really who they seem to be within the rank and file, with allies and enemies coming from the most unlikely places as the series chugs along.

This is a series that deftly weaves a tale of mesmerising characters and scenarios that, while set in an alternate history, still feel depressingly relevant to today.

What about the characters?

The characters, particularly Alice and Randel, really help make Pumpkin Scissors a deeply riveting tale. They have an extremely slow-burning affection for each other, but each is so obtuse about romance for numerous reasons that even getting them to admit they feel strongly for one another takes most of the series to this point.

And while their relationship is important, they both stand alone as characters in their own right with contrasting backgrounds that often make it hard for them to understand each other.

Alice is from one of the most privileged families in the country and in the opening pages of the series we see she graduated into the military the day the ceasefire was called. Having never served on the frontlines and coming from a wealthy, political family means Alice has been sheltered from a lot and in other series she could well be an obnoxious character as a result.

However, Iwanaga gives Alice the opportunity to actually grow, to make mistakes and to broaden her outlook as she progresses through each arc. She isn't always painted as "right" despite her idealism and it's interesting seeing a young, female protagonist in a seinen title get to be like this without also being grossly over-sexualised. Overall, Alice is a strong and proud noble whose journey has involved many harsh life lessons, but who still holds her unit together and strives for a better society.

Randel, our other lead, has come from a background of poverty and suffering. I won't spoil too much of his backstory, but he brings a perspective to the unit that even Oreldo the back-alley brawler doesn't. Randel not only grew up in an incredibly tenuous situation, but he selflessly sold himself to the war machine as a youth and as such, has actually endured the battlefield. Not only does Randel not eat meat as a result of this, he truly wants to live a life without raising his weapon again -- something he has yet to achieve.

Even with the war being over on paper, he very often has to take out his "Door Knocker" gun and literally fight armored tanks. Physically, this is destroying him. Mentally, it is driving him over the edge. But deep within Randel is this burning desire to be useful in achieving lasting post-war peace, for all his deep suffering and sacrifice to be worth it, and that propels him forward even when it probably shouldn't. In the Pumpkin Scissors unit he finds purpose and a commanding officer who gives him something to believe in again, but will Randel ever be able to stand by Alice's side or will he succumb to everything pulling him down?

Something I appreciate about Pumpkin Scissors is that every character comes into their own when the time is right, well beyond our leads too. From characters that play major roles in certain arcs like Haarkenmeijer right through to Rosetta, the minor gag character nurse. Everyone has an arc in the narrative and geez, some of them are good.

If you just watch the anime it seems like Stecchin and Hunks, for example, are two extremely flimsy individuals who round out the core unit by being "the peppy little admin girl" and "dull, middle-manager-esque commanding officer". When the true extent of their individual histories and skills become apparent in the manga, you're left agape at how truly incredible they both are and how vital they are to the success of the team (albeit in very different ways).

What about it isn't good?

There are a few things about Pumpkin Scissors that bug me, but surprisingly few given the length and content of the series.

The art is honestly not that great. Iwanaga draws a mean weapon but he can be quite clumsy with human anatomy and even though his style has improved over time, I still wouldn't say it's the best. I know the art can put people off a bit, but I'm glad I stuck with it because after a dozen or so volumes it does grow on you (and the story absolutely makes it worth the effort).

There has also been a literal 5 year break between volumes. We have no idea if Iwanaga will take another break or how long he intends to continue the series for and that kind of uncertainty, I get it's not for people who really only want to read a complete story.

Speaking of stories... story-wise, I dislike how the minor character, Princess Septieme, is 9 and has a mildly fliratious relationship with the adult Martis. While Martis doesn't actively pursue anything with her and it's all fairly light, it's still weird to put them in that situation to begin with imho and totally unnecessary. Overall there's minimal fanservice (aside from Alice's sisters having big honkers) so having a random loli princess is just odd to me.

That's about all that comes to mind, but obviously if strong, bloody violence in a war-related setting are triggrering for you then I would not recommend Pumpkin Scissors due to how much of it centres on conflict and its horrible results.

So how can I read it?

The manga was originally licensed for US print release by Del-Ray, but this release was discontinued a while back. Nowadays Pumpkin Scissors is a DIGITAL ONLY release from Kodansha USA and volumes 1-23 are currently translated and available for purchase here. If you're outside the US and don't have local official options or are in the US and low on cash then check the usual sites for free options.

Can I watch the anime then pick up the manga?

I'd say yes, if you watch the entire Gonzo anime adaptation you can fairly easily pick up the manga and continue on from there. Personally I'd recommend reading the manga from volume 1 even if you've watched the anime though, as it's a more tightly written story. If nothing else, you absolutely need to indulge yourself in the anime opening because it is top tier stuff (performed by Evangelion's Takahashi Youko no less).

I think the images contained in the opening sequence may also give you a bit of an idea as to whether or not you'll find the series to your tastes overall.

Anyway there are my extremely incoherent thoughts on Pumpkin Scissors and why it's a series I enjoy and recommend you check out. I feel it deserves far more attention that it receives and I am so happy to have it back from its long hiatus. If you do check it out, let me know what you think! If it isn't for you that's OK, hopefully you'll enjoy the next series I decide to ramble about :)

[hangmanbradshaw]

Rare personal post, under the cut (trigger warning re: death and grief and complicated family dynamics and a lot of sentimentality haha)

Today would’ve been my dad’s 60th bday. It’s only two years fresh so I never know what feelings to expect, but I was looking through old pics because of my cousin and smiling, and that’s good? He struggled with addition, and caused more scars than I’ll ever be able to talk about no matter how much therapy and EMDR I do, but as complicated as our family was, I love and miss him. There were so many good rays of moments in it, especially when I was younger. My teenage years were hell. The end wasn’t good. It’s all true. I never thought I’d be in my 20s being next of kin- making decisions about life support and planning funerals and burials and giving eulogies and writing obituaries and taking care of my grandparents, but I think I’ve found my peace with it. It hurts, but it’s bearable.

I keep thinking about the eulogy I wrote and gave, what I believe in my heart about loss after losing my best friend, my dad, other friends. They really stick with us? In so many ways we don’t always see. It’s not about moving on, truly it’s about just finding space for the rest of life too. Widening your heart to it. I watch Star Wars and I think of Andrew. I talk to his mom and we laugh. I get excited for football or hiking or going on an adventure and that’s my dad. All these pictures of him younger, healthier, playing football and bringing us to games, teaching my brother and me how to play, taking us white water rafting and horseback riding and hiking and camping over and over. Pictures of him doing it himself when he was younger. And it’s just like. I’m his daughter. He lives on in my life because I see those things in my life, and for that, I’m so grateful. I look at my life and that lyric is so true- There wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you.

My writing journey started about a year after he passed as art therapy. I realized I loved it. I met all of you, wrote IWTBY, wrote my novel now. I took myself to the Super Bowl and watched the team he taught me to love win. I took myself to a movie premiere, to Europe, to all these things he never got to do. To national parks he did visit. To parks he took us to. My brother and I are going to Austin this fall and staying out on a ranch like we did as kids. I live in a peaceful little apartment with a job that helps people and wonderful friends and all that pain and hurt led to it. Anyways, just a long, ridiculously sentimental rant to say I’m grateful for this little community. For my little life. It’s simple, and it’s mine, and I am forever thankful for it. For all of you and the love you show me, whether it be for my stories which truly have changed my life, or in general. I wrote that one shot last night, and immediately was blown away by the love y’all give it and me. If my little stories have made you smile, or feel something, it’s all I can hope for. I hope everyone who sees this finds their own peace, no matter how impossible it seems, truly. Keep your head up, keep finding the beauty and joy in the little things. In the sun shining and laughter with a friend and movies that make you inspired. With love, Steph 💙

[anchoeritic]

omg, well now we need to explore the mommy milkers situation <3

how would tonowari/jake/quaritch breastfeed or react to lactation? i feel like each would have their own flavour of response, yk? 🥺💦

also oML i need to req and askbox u more often bby. i <3 ur writing style lowkey i forget and then get re-delighted lmao

time for some mommy milkers !!!

i see TONOWARI as the type to come back from a heavy hunting day and just immediately fall in your arms. he’s a tough man. toughest man to crack, i’ll tell ya that. as capable as he is, he will always melt in your presence. he’s a commander in chief. there’s a reason why he’s always so strict.

i most likely see it during the aftercare portion, though. a long restless session of some soft reassuring sex, the night ends on a lighter note: his lips wrapped around your nipple, just sucking on it.

he definitely makes noises when he finally tastes your milk, a given reminder of how sweet it really is when it hits his tastebuds.

he makes sure to include the other one too (🥹😵‍💫) and uses his fingers to twist it around a bit, sometimes drawing out a bit of milk. he never wastes a drop, though.

JAKE would be the first to fucking do it. he’s a whore. but a lil softie whore. he wants to be close with you 24/7, literally never gets off of you until he’s SHOVED.

it started off with tiny gropes at your boobs, sneaking touches in that paaaarticular area. then, well, he would grow more comfortable with the idea; going from kissing all around your chest to, specifically your titty region. he’s doing all this while he’s caressing your tummy, btw.

honestly, he does it for the first time during a bit at the end of your pregnancy, and falls in LOVE. the thought of being cared for in a way and taken care of kinda lit something up in him. being held by his mate and being as close as he can be,, oh,, he was not about to give this UP.

“tastes so good, mama.” he would tell you between sucks, savouring the taste of your milk. “‘s sweet, just like you.”

QUARITCH doesn’t get it at first soooo he doesn’t really hop on the wave until a little later on bcs he’s a LOOOOSER! a hot loser but that’s besides the point.

he knew about the kink prior to you even being impregnated by him. he definitely watched a video on pornhub before he started crackin’ on pandora and falling in love with you.

it’s so funny to imagine quaritch being so comfy with you to the point where he’s sucking the milky out your titty. he absolutely would thooooough. especially during sex!!!!!!

fucking you slow and deep, making sure you’re watching him slip in and out of your pussy through the small mirror since you can’t see from the angle of your swelled up belly.

he comes leaning down and grabbing at your tit, swirling his tongue around your nipple softly. a single drop of your milk had already won him over. you’d known it after you heard his first moan from just the taste.

“fuck, sweetheart,” he’d mumble against your skin, “needa taste ya again. i can’t get enough of ya.” squeezing the rest of the milk out your titties, drinking up every last drop.

pls i’m literally having my fangirl moment:!,!&: don’t eveeeNnnnNnn..!!. i’m such a huge fan of your content. i’m literally your biggest fan bye. i love u.

[thenotsoholyspirit]

Holding pt 2

(Here for pt 1)

Matt Murdock x reader (angst)

Note: I never expected to do a part 2 for this, but I got inspired re-watching the third season. I hope you guys enjoy it ❤️. Also, a bit of a trigger warning for the mention of the death of a pet.

Summary: What if Matt came back after all that happened, what if things could change.

♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡◇♡

"It was a building, an old abandoned storage. It was a horrible incident indeed. Authorities have yet declared the reasons for its collapse, but apparently, some criminal group is-"

Will the tv anchors let go of that new? It's been more than a month

I sigh as I start to bite the head of the pen in my hand, turning the tv off. I look now directly at the blank screen, only being able to see my own reflection. I look exhausted.

I am exhausted.

It's been weeks since Matt Murdock has been declared dead, more than weeks since I've myself collapsed into some sort of numbness.

It was almost months since I last saw him, yet..

You could've prevented this

I shake my head, trying to get the thought out.

The darkness in the room seems almost too engulfing now. My four walls feeling closer and closer now. I close my eyes

You can not take responsibility for everybody..

I remember my mom telling me this the day my first pet died. It was an accident, the poor bird escaping his cage and getting electrocuted by some some disjointed wires from the utility pole.

Not everything is under your control

I remember his little body dead on the asphalt eyes wide open, looking like he could wake up at any time and take his flight..

Suddenly the noise of the keys opening my door make me stand up. I quickly go grab the old baseball bat hidden under the couch and I go stand besides de doorframe.

Breath

When the person enters I immediately go for a hit, only to be surprised as what appears to be a man easily stops it mid-air making me loose my balance and stumble.

"What th-"

Suddenly he grabs me by my waist preventing me from falling on the floor. Its so dark I can barely perceive his face, yet his voice makes my heart suddenly drop.

"Please..this time I can explain (y/n)"

I immediately pull away from his arms as I go quickly grab my bat again and turn on the lights. I feel my hands weaken their grip as I now recognize the man in front of me. It was Matt. it was actually Matt.

Its you

But I keep my defensive position. Its impossible. This cannot be.

"Who the f- are you". I spat, trying not to let my vulnerability take over.

The supposed Matt stays in place, as I can see him twitching a small smile. He retakes his serious tone

"I know.. I know how this must appear from your side but you must believe me.."

I look at his eyes. Those puppy eyes he used to make when I caught him in trouble. For such a strong man he could be quite sensitive indeed. But I cannot forget neither.

"Even if..if this was true..how..how do you want me to trust you..after all that happened"

He looks down, shame now filling his face. He must have remembered the last time we saw each other. Not the best goodbye indeed. He bites his lip

"I know..I.. I didn't come for forgiveness just..I thought...", He turns his head around, probably scanning the room, "That you deserved to know the truth before you heard it from someone else.."

In the depths of myself, I know all I wish to do is to jump to his arms. It was him. He was alive.

"What exactly happened?"

My voice wasn't as cold as before but I still hold an strict tone, wanting to keep my distance.

He nods his head as he takes a long breath.

"You really want to hear the whole story ?"

"Ive got all night"

So thats how for the next hour he tells me what he seems to know about this Hand. The war. Stick and even the two deaths of his ex. It was a lot I admit, but I still listened with attention to each of his words. We both end up sitting face to face on the floor

"So that's how I ended up here", he finally says raising his shoulders.

I could notice something in his tone. Something more lonely that what used to be in there before. Something more bitter too, but I decide not to comment on that.

"So neither Karen or even Foggy know that you're alive and well ?"

He groans a bit. Probably a touchy subject.

"I'd rather leave it like that... they're safer that way"

I sigh. Some things never truly change

"Then why are you here Matt?"

"I told you.. I-"

"Bullshit"

My raise in tone paralyzes the conversation for a moment. Matt seems surprised and stays silent waiting for me to continue

"Sorry..just", I try my best to hold my emotions, "Last time you were in here..you..you left me Matt..you left me..."

"(Y/n).. sweetheart..I'm"

"Don't you dare call me sweetheart Matthew.." Im now standing up giving my most glaring stare at the man in front of me. "Don't you dare use that word"

Not everything is under my control

"I.." , I look at him again, " I had to mourn you twice..twice.."

Now tears are falling from my eyes. I know he can sense them but I don't want him to comfort me. I have to be strong

"I loved you with all my heart"

These last words are merely a mumble.

The noise of the outside is louder, the cars, the streets, the people. The city being so alive. All of what Matt can hear and perceive, his life. His real life. Not here with me, but outside.

He seems unsure what to say next.

"I never wanted to lose you", I've never heard his voice being this fragile "I just wanted to protect you from all the danger I brought upon you.. I don't want to make excuses just.. I got lost in the way"

He tries to come closer to me, putting his hand on my cheek cleaning my tear

"I'll try to make it up... even if it takes me a whole eternity to do so"

I look at him. Will I be able to ever forgive it all ?

I softly take his hand from my face. Holding it with such strength, like if he was about to vanish again. We stay in this silence for a while. It was a lot of feelings for just one night.

But time is still moving as I look at my kitchen's clock.

"Its getting late, I'd guess you have to go"

He nods letting a sad smile slip.

"Yes I guess so"..

He walks to the door, putting his dark glasses and cap on. He gives me a long stare before going. I wonder what he may be thinking

"Goodbye (y/n)"

"Goodbye Matt"

I see him disappear down the hall.

As I get back in, I think again of my souvenir of the poor bird laying on the ground. Maybe I couldn't bring him back to life, but what if he was given a second chance.

I stare at the door.

Maybe things could have ended differently in that case.

[quietblueriver]

Hi! For the prompting: Imodna, luminescence

Hello! Okay so I started writing and realized I actually want to answer this in two parts, so please find below part i, which is incandescence/Imogen. Working on a part ii, luminescence/Laudna.

Thank you so much for the prompt!!

PS- Usual disclaimer re: errors and prompts. Pls excuse.

-

The idea came to her last week, when she helped Laudna take the old door out of her refurbished little cabin. It had been hacked in half for some reason but the wood was still good, not rotted through, and she’d tucked it away behind the cabin before she left, telling Laudna vaguely that she had an idea for it.

She thought briefly about paint, but figured Laudna should get to choose the color and they could always add it later if she wanted. The only thing she really needed was rope, which was easy enough to get from the farm’s store, Harlan waving her off when she offered to have the cost taken from her pay. 

She made sure to do it when Laudna was out foraging, mindful of the process. The scars on her neck were hard to misinterpret, and she knew some of what had happened, shared quietly under the stars outside Laudna’s cabin or, once, memorably and horrifyingly, through Pate. The last thing she wanted was for Laudna to watch her string rope up in the tree. She hoped the swing itself would be okay, was ready to take it down immediately at the slightest sign of discomfort, felt her palms get sweaty with nerves before she forced a deep breath. 

Steady, Imogen. You’ve gotta actually put it up before you panic about takin’ it down.  

She wound some rope across the length and around each end, connecting the separate loops in a series of knots she was pretty proud of and, when she was satisfied, hung it on the massive oak with the best view of the sunset. 

Imogen had nearly destroyed her thumbnail by the time Laudna made it back, but the immediate and obvious joy on her face and in her thoughts as she emerged from the forest and saw Imogen standing next to the swing soothed all of her nerves. She dropped the basket of mushrooms and clapped, eyes looking between Imogen and the swing like one or the other might disappear if she stopped. 

“Imogen! Is this…is this for us?” 

Imogen nodded, cheeks aching from the size of her smile. “For you, mostly, but I’ll join you as often as I can. If you want, I mean!” 

Laudna tilted her head, an increasingly familiar and comforting melody of fondness in her mind. Her voice carried that same fond feeling as she said, “Whenever you can, please. Thank you, darling.” The flutter in her stomach at the term of endearment ended quickly as there was, to Imogen’s distress, ichor pooling in the corners of her eyes.

Shit.

Laudna must have seen the concern growing on her face because she waved Imogen off, tucked her fingers next to her eyes so that the ichor reabsorbed. “I’m sorry. Happiness, I promise. It’s been a long time…Actually, I don’t think anyone has ever…” Her fingers moved to Pate but stopped, smoothed at her skirt instead. “Swing with me?” 

Imogen smiled again, moved to hold the door steady so that Laudna could get comfortable. “After you, m’lady.” She felt silly, something that generally made her uncomfortable, but it was worth it for the laughter it earned her. She was finding she didn’t mind being silly for Laudna. 

When Laudna was settled, she hoisted herself up next to her, shoulders touching, and then pressed her right foot against the ground and began a gentle movement. Laudna sighed happily, and they were quiet for a while, the sounds of the frogs and the crickets playing around them. 

As the sun set, reds and purples spreading over Faramore’s land and the bluffs, Laudna tangled their ankles together, eyes cutting at Imogen in that way they always did when she initiated physical contact.

(The first time she really touched her, placing a steadying hand on Imogen’s back as she nearly tripped over a log, she yanked it back so fast, her mind in such a panic that Imogen thought there must be danger.

Laudna? What’s wrong?

She turned to find Laudna staring at the ground and fisting her skirt so tightly Imogen was afraid she might tear it. It was like she couldn’t hear her.

Imogen understood once the panicked thoughts cleared enough for her to be able to separate them, found tears stinging at the corners of her eyes and felt a rage on Laudna’s behalf, more and more common, at a low boil in her stomach.

Careful. Disgusting. Cold. Ichor will stain her pretty shirt. Don’t want to scare her. Can’t believe I...she’ll leave. She should leave. Dangerous.

She stepped closer carefully, placing a gentle hand on Laudna’s forearm, which was smooth and cold and a little clammy but certainly not disgusting. Laudna raised her head slowly to meet Imogen’s eyes.

“Is this okay?”

She nodded, and Imogen took another half-step in, let her fingers slide down and tangle with Laudna’s. Her eyes left Imogen’s again to stare at their joined hands.

“Imogen, you don’t have to…I know I’m not…it’s not…”

“I don’t mind you touchin’ me, Laudna. I’m real clumsy, so it’s nice, really, to have somebody there to help.” She squeezed very gently at Laudna’s fingers, ran her thumb over the skin of her inner wrist, leaned forward and said the next part near Laudna’s ear, sure but soft. “And you’re not disgustin’. I’m sorry anybody ever told you that. You’re just a little different.” She let go of Laudna’s hand to remove her glove, took it back and raised them between their bodies, her scars facing Laudna. “I am, too.”

Laudna raised her head then, a tentative half-smile on her face, pulled Imogen’s hand closer and looked at the purple lines scattered across it. Imogen ignored the embarrassment and fear and shame for once, didn’t pull her hand away.

“They’re quite beautiful.”

Her face was burning, suddenly, and she set her own eyes to the ground. “Well, can’t say I’ve ever heard that one before.” She cleared her throat and looked up again, gathered some bravery. “It feels nice. Your hand in mine, I mean. I run real hot and you’re so cool.” She winked, felt immediately ridiculous but got Laudna’s smile to widen so called it a win.)

Like always, Imogen did her best to show it was welcome, pressing her ankle back. Laudna stared down at their feet as she asked, “How would you feel about a picnic tomorrow?”

She answered immediately, “That sounds perfect.” Laudna’s hands had only fluttered a little as she proposed the idea, and she didn’t even follow her question up with a dozen qualifications about the value of Imogen’s time. Imogen felt a swell of pride and satisfaction that Laudna was becoming more comfortable with her. She added, positive reinforcement and also the simple truth, “Real excited to get to spend a day off with you.” 

Laudna’s cheeks stained a bluish purple in the low light, and Imogen felt an entirely undue sense of accomplishment, leaned over to let her head rest on Laudna’s shoulder.

This was something Imogen was trying, the physical affection. She wanted to be sure Laudna didn’t feel like she was the only one ever reaching out, wanted to reassure her, push back against some of the shit she’d been told about herself.

Mostly, though, she wanted to be close to her. They hadn’t known each other that long, in the scheme of things, but Imogen was pretty sure both of them had been touch-starved for a long time, and she felt more at home with Laudna than she had with anyone, ever. So she was slowly letting herself give into the impulses to touch and tease and be lighter than she was anywhere else, with anyone else. To be at home. 

“That can’t be comfortable,” Laudna laughed, even as she lifted a hand to wrap around Imogen’s shoulders to keep her in place.

Imogen scooted closer. “It’s plenty comfortable, thanks.” 

She walked back to the house humming to herself and thinking about what Laudna might like from the market for their picnic, making a plan for her morning. She was excited about spending a whole day with Laudna—dipping her feet in cool water and watching at least one performance from Pate and eating fresh bread and cheese and fruit and, assuming she didn’t get stampeded in line, a few slices of the first chocolate pecan pie of the season from Mackey’s stall.

She laughed into the quiet of the forest. They were going to have a picnic.

-

The market was more crowded than usual, and Imogen’s headache was threatening, a steady pulsing reminder at the base of her skull, but she was undeterred, buoyed by the promise of the rest of her day. 

She avoided a cart and brushed by a family with a teenager whose brutal (and correct, from what Imogen could tell) running internal commentary on her uncle’s bullshit. He must’ve picked that up from that circle jerk of a riding club. What fucking clowns…was so loud that Imogen had to bite into her bottom lip to keep from laughing. 

She refocused, picking her way through the stalls looking for the best fruit she could find rather than the best bargain because she was in a good mood, and she’d just gotten paid, and she could almost hear the delighted noise Laudna would make if she could find some of those sour apples she liked so much. She blocked out someone’s mental rant about stepping in dog shit and grinned triumphantly as she spotted a bucket of green apples. 

Prize in hand, she moved the already secured slices of pie and perfectly crisply loaf of bread carefully to the side to make room in her basket. “Now, cheese…”

She made it back to the house without incident, headache still only a threat, and loaded her pack and saddled Flora, who was off the roster for the day same as Imogen, before heading to Laudna. 

Her cabin was empty, a little surprising because Imogen was almost certain they’d agreed to meet here last night. She had been exhausted, though, so maybe they’d decided on the creek after all. 

Redirecting Flora, they headed in the direction of the section best for picnics, a little bend with big flat rocks and enough tree cover to create a little privacy. 

She heard it about halfway there, the familiar music of Laudna’s thoughts discordant with panic and fear. Imogen had Flora at a gallop immediately, cussing and hissing as thin branches whipped at her face. 

There was a group of people crowded around a set of boulders, Laudna’s lanky form easily identifiable, surrounded and pressed almost all the way against a the rocks. The group consisted of a dozen or so people, including Amos, the local cleric, and some other folks in religious robes she didn’t recognize. There were also several of Imogen’s least favorite men from town, a combination of assholes and real creeps whose thoughts made her wish she could give her brain a shower. At their head was Davey Moore, the sheriff’s brother who thought he was big shit. 

They all turned as they heard Flora’s approach, and Imogen barreled through them without hesitation, forcing them to either move or be moved. They dived, crying out, thoughts temporarily diverted to their own safety. They’d be able to block them in before Imogen could get Laudna up behind her, but this at least gave them a moment. 

Imogen stopped Flora next to Laudna, whose normally wide black eyes were even wider and whose thoughts were jumbled and afraid and now worried, not for herself but for Imogen. 

Imogen smiled at her, as softly as she could manage given the worry and fury that were mounting in her body. 

Well, hey there. You okay?

I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I just wanted to…I thought you might like…

Imogen saw then the flowers in her hand, beautiful yellow and purple and blue blooms whose stems even now Laudna was trying to keep from crushing in her anxious grip. Her hands rose the smallest amount, in offering, and Imogen felt such an intense surge of affection and the desire to protect that it nearly winded her. Probably would have, if she weren’t also burning hot with anger. 

Trying to let some of that affection out through her eyes, she projected, You got nothin’ to be sorry for, Laudna. Those flowers are real pretty. I’m sorry that these fools… 

She turned to glare at the group of men who had recongregated around them, one of the clerics having cast some kind of barrier spell that Imogen could see glinting in the light over their shoulders. 

Well, shit. 

Moore yelled out, “Temult! Of course you’re wrapped up with this…this…”

Imogen flexed her hand around the reins, ground out, “I’d be real careful how you finish that sentence, Davey.”

Imogen. Don’t put yourself at…

“Ma’am,” one of the clerics she didn’t recognize tried, blue robes shifting as he put a foot forward, “Clearly you’re not aware that you’ve been associating with an abomination.” His voice was kind, gentle, like she was a child and he genuinely wanted to protect her, but he had his staff raised in one hand and the other out, ready to cast at Laudna. 

“She’s not an abomination.” 

Imogen. Be careful. It’s not worth it, darling. 

She heard what Laudna wouldn’t say: I’m not worth it. She sure as shit was, though, was the thing, and Imogen wasn’t about to let these fuckers have her. Imogen looked down at Laudna again, steel in her eyes this time, and brought Flora’s body forward and around a little, a half-shield for Laudna. 

Stay as much behind Flora’s body as you can. When it’s safe, I’m gonna pull you up and we’re gonna go. Okay? 

Imogen. 

Laudna. 

“Don’t bother with this one. She’s a freak, too. All messed up in the head like her mama was. Actually,” he sneered at Imogen, moved his hand to the sheath on his belt, “better be careful with her, too. She might try to mess with your mind.” 

A set of frowns deepened, confused thoughts pressing at the barrier of her mind as Amos stepped forward. Nobody in her day-to-day life was deeply religious, but Amos had once offered to pray over Imogen while her daddy stood stoically and silently next to her. (He’d told her later that it “couldn’t have hurt to let him try,” while a cacophony of thoughts about Imogen sounded in his mind. Stubborn. Just like her mama. Didn’t sign up for this. Wish she’d just act normal. Can’t even have a fuckin’ ale in peace since she screamed at Darius’s boy. The thoughts were familiar enough at that point that she should’ve been innoculated against the hurt they caused. She wasn’t.)  She’d declined as politely as she could, pushing down the part of herself that wanted to tell him to shove his prayers up his own ass, and Amos had been gravely concerned that she wasn’t open to being healed. 

Now, in his most pious voice, he said, “Imogen. I feared when you declined my offer of prayer that you had given into darkness, and now I see that it’s true. After we handle your…this…unnatural creature…”

“Hollow One,” another supplied, and Amos turned slightly to nod in acknowledgement. 

“Yes. In any case, after we handle it, we can bring you to your father and see about…”

Her heart pounded, and her head rang, her whole body flushed with heat, as she said, “You won’t be handlin’ anything, especially not Laudna.”

“Ms. Temult, is it? I don’t think you…”

“Enough.” Moore unsheathed his knife and Flora tried to put distance between herself and the man, whinnying when she realized there was nowhere to go. 

“Shhh,” she rubbed a hand down her neck, eyed Laudna, whose hands were even darker than usual, ichor and magic bubbling up and bleeding across now-wilted flowers to drip over the ground. 

With a last pat to Flora, she dismounted, stepping in front of Laudna and sending Flora out toward the path they’d come from, the group of men parting and reforming to let her pass. Flora made it through the barrier without issue and Imogen filed that away, wondered if it was just for humans or just for Laudna or maybe, if they were lucky, just for show.

Imogen. 

It’ll be alright. 

There was almost no space between her and Moore now, his sharp blade glinting in her eyes as his vile thoughts cut at her mind. She pushed them to the side. 

“You’re right. That’s enough.” 

She wasn’t the Imogen Temult he knew in that moment. She wasn’t the weird, reclusive girl whose mind wasn’t quite right but who was “real good with those horses.” She wasn’t the panicked, overwhelmed teenager breaking down in the market, the attention-seeking, unmanageable girl yelling at the people around her when there were no more boxes in her mind for the vile thoughts of others. She certainly wasn’t the polite, palatable version of herself she had learned to present to keep the peace. 

She was Imogen Temult without filter, and she was done. 

Moore blinked for a moment, a break in his thoughts, but then he turned to the clerics around him and said, “Someone knock her out first. Then we can finish the job.”

The minds around her were conflicted at the order, but enough accepted it that someone began to cast, voice loud. 

She heard Laudna cry out behind her, saw a flash of black streak by and hit the cleric in the shoulder. He yelled, shock and pain projecting from his mind, but then he started again, and soon his voice wasn’t alone. 

There were too many of them, too many of them with too much belief in what they were doing and they had trapped them here, in these woods, where nobody could hear them call for help. 

Something in her chest, familiar, hers, but never let loose before, cracked open, and heat flowed out, across her chest and down her arms. It almost felt like her scars were…she raised her hands and confirmed—they were glowing, pulsing purple with power. 

“Imogen,” Laudna breathed out behind her, something close to awe battling with concern in her tone. 

“What the fuck?” 

She looked Moore in the eye as she said, “I said, that’s enough.”

She didn’t know what she was doing, but it felt natural, right, to extend her hands in front of her, nearly pressed to his chest. He lunged with the knife and froze mid-way, body stiff, wrapped in light that beamed from Imogen’s hands over and through Moore and Amos and all the rest of them, her whole body hot and surging like a live wire.

And then Moore was screaming. He was screaming, and so were the others, out loud and in their minds, loud, so loud, a horrible, inescapable set of voices becoming one.

“Ahhh!!!” It burns! Make it stop! “Mercy! Mercy!” So hot, so hot, my gods, I can’t…“Please!” Mother save us…

Hands grasped at heads as their bodies shook and fell to the ground, and bits of their skin, where Imogen could see it, withered with burn, strange purple and white flames appearing and disappearing on their bodies and clothes.

When it was over, all of them prone, Imogen took half a moment to feel both relief and a deep kind of sickness before grabbing Laudna’s hand, pulling her toward Flora, the best girl, who was waiting for them at the edge of the forest. 

She grabbed the reins, scars still alight with purple heat, lightning still in her veins waiting to be let free, and they ran. 

[slvtforyumi]

group chat boys while you’re on your period headcanons. <re upload>.

————————————

some things have been changed or added considering my writing has changed a bit since i last wrote this.

————————————

isaac-

he’s the biggest softie with you.

he’ll immediately recognise that something is wrong when you begin to act a little different.

has prepared himself for your eventual mood swings.

he makes sure to keep you on bed rest even if you insist that you’re fine.

he goes out of his way and will literally drop everything to go and get you something you need, craving something? he’s already going to the store, need a hug? he’s on his way.

he read somewhere online that having sex on your period can help reduce the pain of cramps.

so he takes that to his advantage a bit and uses it as an excuse to still be able to fuck you.

nick-

he is the biggest sweetheart ever.

stays in bed with you the majority of the time, just cuddles you and massages you wherever it hurts.

he stocks up on snacks and stuff you crave for times like this.

he puts up with all your mood swings, when your angry he stands and listens but then when you switch to crying, he’s immediately got his arms wrapped around you comforting you.

just like isaac he isn’t put off by the idea of having sex with you while period.

he just becomes wayyy more gentle with you than he normally would be.

tanner-

he’s not the best at knowing what to do while you’re on your period.

he doesn’t really know how to handle your mood swings so when you start to become a little cranky he’ll keep his distance from you.

he’s a little afraid he might upset you more than you already are.

but then again he always manages to cheer you up when you’re having your little moments.

he’s always holding you close to him in the day and at night he practically wraps himself around you like a teddy bear.

he wouldn’t be obliged to having sex with you he just wouldn’t be up for it all the time.

yumi-

he would honestly be hopeless at the start.

he would be panicking so much and would probably end up making you feel so much worse than you already were.

he’d then get around the idea of it and would calm himself down and realise that it’s not too big of a deal.

i’d you had asked him to go to the store for you to get some pads he’d respond with “fuck no dude i’m not going down the pussy pad isle”.

he’d fill up a hot water bottle for you and place it wherever it hurts.

and he’d still try and succeed at making you laugh but would also make you feel like strangling him half the time too.

he isn’t entirely put off the idea of having sex with you, he’d honestly just much prefer to finger you instead.

larry -

honestly he’d be a little underprepared when you first told him you had come on and wouldn’t exactly know what to do.

but after some intense google research he soon gets the hang of it.

would probably threaten to beat up your uterus for hurting you so much.

he would go out and buy you loads of snacks tho.

but would probably end up eating half of them on his way home to you.

in some sick way he kind of enjoys you being on your period, just because he likes being able to stay in bed with you all day, watching trash tv while watching junk food.

he would probably ask you to go down on him even if you feel like you’re going to die.

[sku1l-b4e]

School Love (Chapter 4)

A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long 😞 I completely forgot about this.

@onlybinkis

"Today." His voice rang in my ears, I pause for a moment, letting his singular word register before I can even think to reply. He looks as if he's about to take back his offer, his hand leaving my bicep as he opens his mouth to speak.

"Im sorry, I shoul-" He starts to apologize but I quickly cut him off, my voice breaking and coming out in stutters.

"No, no, don't apologize! I didn't think you'd want to come round today is all. But sure, I can ask my mum." He visibly relaxes at my words, a soft breath leaving him. He seemed to have missed the excitement in my voice, and the nervous tone I held. He nods and flips open his phone again, scrolling until he finds my contact where he sends a quick message.

"Ill wait for you at the gates? And don't block me this time." He says, his tone teasing yet genuine. I nod and re-add his number to my contacts, his name flying to second place on the list. Just below Anna, my favorite cousin. He mutters a goodbye, picking up his things before leaving the classroom. We had been the last two in the room besides the teacher, she gives me a knowing look and turns back to her computer.

I run my hands through my hair, letting out a deep breath after I put my art folder in one of the drawers, making sure the cover didn't get caught between the wood of the large dresser.

I pick up my bag and leave the room, shutting the door behind me as I rush to my locker. I slam in the code, pushing the small door open to check the pocket mirror I had blue-tacked to the door. I sort out my eyeliner, fluff up my hair and curl my lashes with my fingers before I'm finally happy with how I look.

Once I've gathered everything I need to take home with me, I leave the school building, saying goodbye to a friend who had walked with me. The friend leaves and my eyes scan the school courtyard until they land on a specific spikey haired boy.

I try to hide my grin, failing miserably, as I approach him. He chuckles when I reach his side, sending a message he had previously been writing to presumably Tom.

"Lets go?" He asks, using his left hand to gesture to the school gates where handfuls or students were piling out. I nod, beginning to walk as his long legs succeed in keeping up with my quick steps.

We eventually make it to my house, I unlock the door with the key I keep in the small pocket of my backpack and let him in first before stepping into my home. "Haven't been here in a while..." He murmers, glancing around for any changes.

Everything was how it was before our friendship broke off. He seemed happy about that, given by the small smile that appeared on his pale face.

He kicks off his shoes after I do, immediately starting to walk upstairs to where he knew my bedroom was whilst I walk to the kitchen and sort out my lunch box from the day and grab a small snack. I make my way to my bedroom, noticing how Bill was already sat on my bed as if that was where he belonged.

I just wished he never left the last time.

"So... Why'd you want to come round?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at him as I eat my snack, placing it on the bed to go to my wardrobe and pick out a more comfortable outfit.

"Missed you. Missed your bed... So much comfier than mine." I can't help but laugh at his honesty, of course he missed my bed. He had passed out drunk so many times on it, fallen asleep with me top-and-tailing whenever he slept round.

"The bed? But, yeah, missed you too." I shake my head and pull out a pair of pajama bottoms with a black crop top, inspecting the clothes for any visible dirt or stains.

He laughs slightly, watching me as he crosses his legs. He's never had any problems watching me change, I always found a way to not flash him. He finds it amusing how i made sure that he was never able to see my underwear, he'd look away if I told him to, and I know it.

As I get changed, I pull the shirt over my head and adjust it slightly, not letting it show my bra before I make a signal for him to turn around and he does. I pull off my jeans and slip on my pajama bottoms, relishing in the soft material around my legs.

"Done." I murmur, tying up my hair before joining him on the bed once he's turned around to look at me again. His eyes rake up my body from my feet and I feel myself blush slightly so I look away.

"So... Do yo-" I start to speak but I'm cut off by a pair of soft lips upon my own. I gasp and he pulls away, grinning slightly. "I missed you... missed us."

His words seem like music to my ears now, I can still feel his lips against mine, the way they seemed to fit perfectly together. I let out a shaky breath and before he can continue speaking, I pull him back into a kiss, this one slower, more loving.

He moves his body closer to mine and cups the back of my head, gently biting my lip as if knowing it'd make my lips part. He slips his tongue in, his tongue piercing cold against the muscle in my mouth. I eventually pull away and cup his cheeks, his eyes now looking at me lovingly.

"What made you change your mind?" I ask, getting no verbal response for now, his head turning to kiss my palm.

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder."

[imaginarylungfish]

AUDHD 👏 GOJO 👏

I’m right there with you so, in true AuDHD style, I’m zooming into your inbox to infodump because I’m ALWAYS desperate to scream about this (shout out to @ellionwrites for patiently and compassionately listening to my unpolished rambles about a lot of this stuff in private)!

I actually have a LOT of thoughts about 236 and how it’s Gojo’s “unmasking”. That chapter is really emotional for me because of how well it articulates my personal experience of navigating the world as an autistic person. This post (and especially its tags) from right after it came out says it in a much more concise way, but Gojo’s upset pout breaks my heart because, to me, that's evidence of “no matter how much you try, people will misunderstand you” and damn… that hits a little close to home 🥲

It’s why his death had such a strong impact on me, especially when it felt like half the internet was ignoring the actual words Gojo said to claim “he never cared about that stuff, he was arrogant from the start and you just misread him". In combination with “it was the best ending for a character like Gojo" — right after we find out how deeply lonely he’s been, never able to truly connect with anyone after Geto left? Well, it was mindblowingly meta and, therefore, pretty painful to read.

I wrote an analysis of Gojo’s character in 236 and, even though I wasn’t viewing him through an autistic lens for that particular post, I think my words under the cut still read that way — that’s how baked into his character I think this stuff is! I genuinely think the two pairs of sorcerers sitting with their backs to each other is a visual representation of the double empathy problem. I'm not sure autistic and allistic people can ever arrive at a place where we fully understand each other, but that doesn’t mean autistic people have to carry all the burden and remain isolated. That’s why it’s meaningful that Gege makes it clear that all the characters care about each other, even if they don’t see eye-to-eye.

Glad to see you shouting about this reading of his character, because I haven’t seen many people talking about it. Some people are very hostile to ND headcanons, especially for characters as popular as Gojo, which is why I haven’t really talked about it much myself. However, I feel like any fellow AuDHDers who read my fic must be side-eying me constantly because I don’t think I’m subtle about how I write Gojo’s character at ALL 🤪

Maybe it’s time to be brave and publicly share my 236 AuDHD!Gojo manifesto for the five of us who are standing in a circle screaming about this! Cheering you on and sending lots of love ♥️

Ahhhhh thank you so much for this infodump!!!! I was on a AuDHD!Gojo rampage last night as my brain worm hit right as I should have been going to sleep. But such are things....

Like idk why it didn't truly hit me until now, but I can't unseen Gojo as AuDHD. (It was probably because I re-watched "Everything's Gonna be Okay" with some AuDHD representation and then I started thinking of other AuDHD characters and immediately thought of Gojo.) I did play with the idea a few months back, but it hit me with full force yesterday.

Idk like I get a little annoyed with people who think I or others like Gojo just because "he's hot" because like okay fine yes (but also I think I just have gender envy but that's a whole other can of worms). But also, no no no that's not it! My love for Gojo is more than that! He speaks to me as a character. He's misunderstood. He's seen as something he isn't. In my eyes, he's neurodivergent (and queer). And Geto was the only other person who ever saw him for who he really was.

Gojo's death was really hard on me. I remember exactly where I was when I read that chapter. And then the airport. Fuck. EmOtIOns. At first, I tried understanding Nanami's words. I really did. But really, I just didn't if I'm honest. Those words were a shock to me. Like yeah okay he's selfish (but like aren't all humans?). He also helps though! Isn't that obvious? And at the end? He wanted to have an equal to go all out with in a fight. Again, why was that bad? He was also helping! What's the issue? He's a fallible human. Like you said in your analysis, he contains multitudes. What's wrong with that?

So, like many others, I thought maybe I misread Gojo. But no. Now I think the missing piece was that Gojo is AuDHD and Nanami didn't quite get that. He didn't understand Gojo's actions. (And ahh god that lil pout. Gojo was just living his life and people saw him but they never ~saw~ him.)

I think the visual of the sorcerers back-to-back is a great metaphor for the double empathy problem. I never saw it that way, but I see it now and like it! And I think you're so right with the fact that the characters still respect and support each other even if they don't understand each other fully. I think that's a theme woven throughout the story.

Blahhh I feel like there is so much textual support for AuDHD Gojo. Like him being blindsided by Geto's defection because he didn't see Geto's decline (and don't get me started about Autistic!Geto with his strict black-and-white thinking), him just blabbing about sweets when he meets up with Megumi before fighting one-finger Sukuna at the beginning, the fact he thought revealing Yuuji to his classmates at the exchange event would be funny (cause hey, I thought it would too until it happened and I saw oh hey, it wasn't), etc. Plus, his blindfold. His overall personality. Like, it's such a heavy mask. Now I see that.

I feel like people either love Gojo or they hate him. (I immediately gobbled up your analysis and 100% agree. And I think people's reactions to his death are pretty telling.)

So, thank you for the yummy AuDHD!Gojo content. Please feel free to send me more/link me to things. I feel like I have a million more things to say but my brain is jumping all over the place and I've already spent 40 minutes this morning on this when I should have been getting ready for work. Hehe, whoops.

Gojo is AuDHD. I will die on this hill. Let's keep staring and screaming at each other about this. Sending you good vibes and love as well 🤍

[jackharloww]

Maybe you could write about a maternity photo shoot. I don’t think I’ve seen that done on here

Photo shoots

"Urban is here any minute now," Jack yelled out from the living room. You were currently in your room, finishing the last touches on your makeup, careful not to get anything on your dress. You were wearing a beautiful long, puffy white dress with puffy sleeves that fit perfectly over your big bump along with a pair of flats.

"Coming," you answered him and got down to where Jack and Grace were waiting for you. Grace was wearing a dress in the same color as yours, and Jack had fixed her hair into two piggy tails with bows on them. She looked so cute you just wanted to pinch her cheeks. “Mama you are pretty” Grace giggled and ran up to you, kissing your bump, just like she’d seen Jack do multiple times. “You are the prettiest, my princess” you cooed and bend down to kiss her on the head.

You had finally found the perfect day to do a maternity photoshoot for the second baby. You've had to re-schedule two times before, but now it was finally time.

"you look beautiful" Jack looked at you with loving eyes, looking at you up and down. You gave him a smile, his compliments never failed to make you blush, and he loved that he still had this effect on you.

"You too" you two shared a loving kiss, before Jack got a message from Urban, informing you that he was outside. Jack got out and installed Grace car seat before calling you both out. He helped you into the car while Urban picked Grace up and buckled her into her seat.

“Uncle Urby, can I help take photos” Grace asked him with anticipation in her eyes.

“You want that?” He asked her, receiving eager nods from her. He laughed before saying “then you’re my little helper today, deal?” He pulled out his hand for her to shake. “Deal” they shook hands and Urban got back to the driver seat, driving to the destination. Urban had found a beautiful location surrounded by green fields and wildflowers. You all got out of the car and Grace immediately ran to the big field, jumping and spinning around. Jack ran after her and picked her up and spun her around. Their laughs making your heart burst in joy. You stared at them for a little to long and felt your eyes get watery.

“Hey, you alright? Urban noticed you drying your eyes and became worried, but quickly relaxed when he saw the big smile on your face.

“Yeah, I’m just so happy” you laughed

“Well, for now, let’s use smiles for happy instead” Urban laughed at you “come on, we can start with your pictures”. Urban directed you to where he wanted you to stand and started to take pictures. Jack and Grace stood behind the camera, watching you.

You posed for the camera, following Urban's instructions. Your baby bump was prominently on display. Jack couldn't help but feel a sense of awe as he looked at you, knowing that you were carrying his second child, and how graceful you looked doing it. Urban took a few pictures of you, and wanted one or two with only you and Jack before taking the family pictures.

“Okay, Jack get in there, Grace you wanna help me?” Urban said and as Jack walked up to you, Grace stood next to Urban ready to help him in any way she could.

Jack pulled you closer to him, putting one hand around your waist and the other on your bump, caressing it like he usually would. “I’m so thankful for you” Jack whispered, staring into your eyes. “I love you” he continued and bent down to kiss you. “I love you too” you whispered back against his lips, trying your best not to cry. Jack was whispering sweet nothings to you and your baby while Urban was taking pictures.

Grace helped Urban take a few pictures with his other camera. “Daddy, kiss mommy now” she said in a sassy directive voice when Urban didn’t say anything. You and Jack tried not to laugh and did as she said. “She’s bossy” Urban commented. “Mhm, just like her mama” Jack winked at you before kissing you again.

“Gracie, come in here” jack held his arms out for her to join the pictures. She handed the camera to Urban and ran up to you both, Jack picking her up. You and Jack couldn’t help but laugh and smile as you held each other close, the excitement and love you had for each other and the new baby was evident in every shot.

“I want to hug baby brother” Grace said and made Jack put her down. She quickly embraced your big bump and placed small kisses on it.

Urban took a lot of different pictures, some of you walking around, some of Grace running around with her dad and a whole lot more. You where so thankful for these memories.

“Mama” Grace said as soon as Urban started driving.

“Yeah?”

“I think baby brother wants some pizza”

—————————————————

taglist: @hoodharlow , @pianoisland @harlowcomehome , @itsyagirljaz , @neon-lights-and-glitter , @heavyhitterheaux

[hikennosabo]

#tristampparty day 1, episode 1: noman's land

normally i draw stuff for fandom events... but i don't really feel like it so instead i'm going to rewatch tristamp for @tristampparty :D it's been a few months since my last rewatch, so i'm excited~ (this will be my fourth time watching it...) subs this time, since i've watched the dub the last 2 times i watched. AND also my first time watching it start to finish after completing the manga. i've been wanting to do this for a while so now's as good a time as any!

i don't know how much i'll have in the way of coherent thoughts or analysis so i guess i'll just... do it like i did my bookclub posts? and write my random thoughts/observations as i go :'3 if i'm lucky it will turn into coherency and analysis LOL

okay episode 1 let's gooooo

i don't think this was shown in the manga so this caught my eye immediately - that there are robots helping maintain the people in cryosleep. the fact that there were only five other crew members besides rem, and that only one person is awake at a time barring emergencies, was brought up and questioned by multiple people in bookclub. maintenance robots make a lot of sense, one person can only do so much, even a small crew wouldn't be enough for such a huge ship.

iirc we don't see the other scientists on the ship at any point in tristamp, so i guess they were all integrated into conrad's character...? which means this rem was more alone than ever. and also had less people to fight against re: the experimentation on tesla...? or... hmmm. one minute into the episode and i'm already saying so much lol help

nai being cast in shadow... that's cinematography babes!!!! and the two blooming geraniums...

UGH!!!! this always gets me!!!! the fact that NAI is the one who invites rem onto the escape pod... knives's love for rem compounding his guilt over her death makes me want to eat rocks. i think that combination of love and guilt is definitely present in the original but it's not blatantly shown as it is here. i've said this a lot and i'll keep saying it but one of the things i really like about tristamp is how it puts a microscope over knives's emotions.

"i thought i'd spare her" he says!!! and with his face covered in shadow... this is from volume 2, so it's in part to keep him ~mysterious~ as the antagonist at this point in the story, but the shadow also serves to show us he's not being fully truthful here. obviously!! but at this point in the manga we don't know much about knives at all, and he's very much framed as sinister and menacing. tristamp does things a bit the other way around, showing us that nai cares about rem and then having him do his evil speech-laugh at vash later in the episode... but we're not up to that just yet. anyway.

we don't really get a clear look at nai's face after the pod launches but because i'm unwell i went frame by frame

he definitely looks angry here i think, or frustrated... of course he is...

so as vash cries here i can't help but think he's emoting for both himself and his brother. in stamp and in the manga both. like the lyrics of tombi.

...less than 5 minutes and i've already written so much. okay. enough about knives. let's all look at meryl's face.

>:T

it's been discussed how tristamp frontloads a lot of information, and this specifically has been pointed out already, but the reveal of the planet's name being NML doesn't happen until... the penultimate chapter of the manga. not like keeping the planet's name a secret really matters in the grand scheme of things, but in the manga the reveal was an emotional beat following the final battle, reinforcing the resilience of the people living there. here it's framed the opposite, almost - as the fact that this place SUCKS. also roberto is purposefully talking down to meryl in this scene but it still comes across as a bit clumsy in that it's obviously exposition for the sake of the audience.

i think this rewatch i want to pay more attention to roberto. i just kind of forget he exists most of the time since he's not in the manga, and not someone i ever really got attached to seeing as how he's clearly telegraphed as the Dead Mentor character, there to push meryl's character to the point where she needs to be by the end of the season. i wasn't around to see this happen but when tristamp started airing i'm pretty sure he got shit on a lot for Not Being Milly. but i do think he fulfills milly's role in one specific way; he's a very observant person. i don't know if i want to dive deep into a roberto-milly comparison though... i kinda feel like that would do a disservice to him lol. but i like the contrast of what kind of relationship each of them has with meryl.

the biggest wettest eyes you've ever seen

i just like the level of detail here with meryl and roberto being reflected in vash's glasses. very neat!

*squints* i just wanted to post BDN's wanted poster to lament the fact that he doesn't actually appear in tristamp, and perhaps laugh at nightow's poster again, but the guy on the left... that's the guy from 98 episode 1, right? and i think the guy in the middle is the guy who lina kicked in the face. there's a poster for the nebraska daughter later in the scene, too. the attention to detail is insane, man.

oh. he's referring to knives here. i think.

see, here's the thing. i only just now realized that he might be referring to knives because the subs i was watching previously (the ones uploaded to aniwave) translate this line differently. it's a lot more vague, about how things will just get worse if they don't do something. the dub line is similarly vague. this line is a lot more clear. but i don't know, man. the reason why i've mostly stuck to the dub is because i could tell the subs on aniwave were of dubious quality, but my japanese isn't good enough to tell which subs are the ""most"" correct, this included. it makes a lot of sense that he's referring to knives here, so that's the interpretation i think i'll stick with. and at least these subs are like... better grammar-wise than the ones on aniwave, lol.

Thinking About This Again. okay i don't remember where this was confirmed by staff or if it was just a theory but this was a bounty put out by knives, right? as "this is what humans think of you, as an object you can put a price on, not as a person." it's all been said already by people who aren't me. but i'm just thinking about knives's hypocrisy again. he doesn't exactly view vash as a person either.

...as i watch this i'm realizing i have a lot less to say about the second half of the episode than the first half.

i've seen people say that vash not having any bullets for the duel was on purpose. and that's probably true. i've also seen people say that running around screaming and crying was on purpose, like, it was part of his act. i... don't know about that. he does scream and cry and throw up to present himself as a harmless idiot, but contrast that with the bullet dodging and the disarming of the cluster bomb... he's kinda... showing his hand? especially because he tries to laugh it off as luck immediately after. NONE of that was part of the plan.

OKAY AM I JUST MAKING THIS UP OR ARE THOSE TEARS IN HIS EYES. THIS ISN'T JUST ME RIGHT. he could just be crying from laughing too hard UNLESS...?! also, why am i reminded of vash saying to rem "when you cry, you look like you're laughing." so the other way around would be...?! we know how much nai is hurting here, how much he didn't want to kill rem... and he's laughing... but with tears in his eyes... is this anything. am i overcooking. it's getting late and my brain isn't working at full capacity anymore.

GOD just. he's so young. in the flashbacks in volume 2, the twins look a bit older, i think, and especially since knives's face is completely blacked out in shadow, it doesn't fully register just how young he was at the time... but man. he was just a kid.

ugh, and the first thing we see of adult knives is him playing the piano, knives's piano being a cry of loneliness from his heart... as we know... i'm going to combust. and his... piano room(?) is so haunting with the dead plants all around.

here's a detail that i like in tristamp - the worms are ever-present from the beginning. for the first couple of episodes they just seem like window-dressing, simply part of the environment to give the setting more character, nothing more. we don't learn about the worm hivemind or zazie until episode 4. but it's obvious upon revisiting that this is how knives is getting information about vash's location and also where any dying plants are.

which i also want to point out because!!! in this scene knives says, in japanese: 「見つけたか」 which in the subs is translated as, "so you've found him." it's translated similarly in the dub, referring to him, as in vash. but in the subs i initially watched, the line was translated as, "did you find it? [...] i'm taking it back." if you know anything about how japanese grammar works, it's that japanese doesn't have pronouns the same way english does, so exactly what or who knives is referring to when he says 「見つけたか」 is not actually specified. so we have a potential double meaning that gets lost in translation - knives could be talking about both vash and the dying plant.

...and that ends episode 1. i... did not expect to write this much. also post this before the date turns over challenge failed. i'm tired and i need to go to bed lol.

we're just getting started. see you tomorrow.

[blackwolfstabs]

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 24

CONFESSION

"He was responsible for this just as much as she was."

AU: Anika survived her attack in Scream VI :)

Tara spent hours pacing in her bedroom, watching time go by and fighting her fluctuating anxiety that had her fetching her inhaler more than she should, especially now, since… 

No, stop thinking about it. 

That was the problem, and she had two ways to handle it right now. She could either try to talk about it or try to sleep and forget about it. However, it was pretty fucking clear which one was promised to fail.

She didn’t want to do this… She really didn’t. She didn’t mean for it to happen anyway. Neither of them did. One thing just led to another and…

Fuck.

She pulled her phone up from clutching it at her side. The screen lit up to glow the time and a thread of unanswered text messages from Chad.

11:24 PM.

She couldn’t read through the texts. There were at least 20, and they had stopped around 7:00 that night. When she hadn’t answered, he had texted Sam, who’d told him that she was okay, home, and doing homework so her phone was on Do Not Disturb. Tara had been the one to tell her she was doing homework, but that wasn’t the truth. She lied. Because she couldn’t focus on anything but the thoughts running a thousand miles per minute in her head.

The ones she had to get out.

She navigated to the Discord app, where she could find an immediate answer if who she needed to talk to was still awake. Discord was where she and her classmates kept in touch with assignments and questions and whatnot. It was the quickest way to get a response from someone, because there was always someone online, no matter what time of day.

Luck was finally on her side tonight. She found the green status symbol alive next to Mindy’s icon, leading her to immediately go to her DMs.

‘hey are u busy? there’s something i need to talk to u about’

Her heart was pounding, as if it was already set-in-stone that she would be spilling her anxiety to someone else. It wasn’t. Mindy may not be available. She could easily change her mind and say ‘nevermind. it’s nothing. sorry for bothering u’. But something kept her staring at the screen long enough to see Mindy start typing a response and then it coming through, reading:

‘What’s up??’

For a moment, Tara felt nauseous, her legs shaking as she bit her lip. 

‘um i’d rather talk to u in person. . . can i come over? if not, it’s ok. it can wait’

She knew she shouldn’t, but she had to add that last part as a final attempt to possibly get herself out of it. If Mindy said no, then it technically wasn’t her decision and she’d be forced to not tell anyone right now… right? 

But her luck vanished in a second.

‘yeah sure. Chad’s already asleep so he won’t bother us, but Anika’s still here. We can go to my room to talk if you want.’

Now, there was no backing out. It was a relief that Chad was promised to stay out of the picture, but now that it was mentioned, she didn’t think having Anika there would be a problem. In fact, it might make things easier with how compassionate and easy-going she was. So, she quickly replied.

‘no it’s fine, she can stay. i don’t mind talking with both of u’

‘Cool then come on over. I’ll unlock the door.’

‘kk’

Tara took another breath through her inhaler, before shoving it in her pocket and leaving her room. She gave Sam’s door a look as she passed, making sure that no light was detected from beneath it, before continuing to the front door. All she could hope for now was that Sam was in a deep enough sleep to not recognize the unlocking and re-locking of the locks, nor wake up to find her gone before she could return. She didn’t intend to make this conversation very long, because she was exhausted and would rather be alone. She just hoped Mindy and Anika wouldn’t drag it out any more than need-be. Well… she was confident that Anika wouldn’t, but Mindy was unpredictable.

Once she got to the Meeks-Martins’ apartment and went inside, she became really nauseous. Mindy had left for a brief moment, but Anika had gotten them all some water and was setting the cups down on the table. Tara swayed a little, bringing a ginger hand up to her stomach with a small whimper.

She should’ve waited until the morning to do this, when nothing was in her stomach. She hadn’t even wanted to eat dinner but forced herself to anyway, so Sam wouldn’t suspect anything was wrong with her. After all, her appetite had increased, once she started going to therapy and had been on different anxiety and depression medication. Sam was sure to get suspicious if she didn’t eat anything at all.

Anika heard her weak noise and looked over to find her holding her stomach. “Are you okay, Tara?” she asked.

The younger took a deep breath. “Erm… I-I think I just wanna go home… my stomach’s upset…” she replied, her legs starting to tremble again.

But this only made the other more concerned as she came over to her. “Okay, well, why don’t you sit down for a minute first? See if it feels better?” She kept a soft hand on her back and guided her to the nearest chair, before pushing one of the water cups up to her. “Here, take a few sips.”

When Tara sat down, her leg immediately started bouncing in that infamously anxious way it did when she felt that staying still was like the calm before the storm. That was something she and and Sam had in common— 

Sam…

She swore she couldn’t tell Sam what was going on, but it was hard not to want her around when she was this anxious. Just her sister’s presence was comforting, and if she were able to trust her with the truth, then she knew she would be able to be comforted the way she liked. But she just didn’t know…

She took a small sip of her water and a deep breath. Sitting down after shaking and pacing for so long actually seemed to take the edge off of her nervousness. It was a relief that made her realize just how much her feet were tired of bearing the pressure too.

“Is Sam not home?” Anika asked, knowing that Tara’s older sister was the first to know everything going on with her, ever since they eradicated the Kirsch family. Plus, whenever she was anxious like this, she always stayed close to Sam for comfort and security.

Carpenter set her cup down, shaking her head, “No, she’s home, just asleep.”

Right then, Mindy came back in, interjecting her apologies for her delay. “Sorry, I was catching up on some instructions for that paper that’s due next week.”

While Tara stayed quiet, Anika mentioned, “It’s fine. She just got really nauseous, so we haven’t talked much.”

But this made Mindy’s expression immediately switch to showing concern with underlying suspicion. If someone said they needed to talk and then became nauseous when they were given the opportunity to share, it was usually something that was risky. “It’s alright, take your time,” she assured, while she took a seat next to her girlfriend. “Is this your first time talking about whatever it is you need to talk about?”

Tara nodded without hesitation. She really wanted to just get it over with, blurt it out, and get all of the questions and awkward, judging moments of silence over with. “I… I just…” She paused to sigh again, trying to calm the waves of anxiety teasing her queasy stomach. “I’m just scared, because I don’t even know how to process it…” she whimpered.

“Well, let’s not worry about processing right now.” Anika reached her hand out to place it on Tara’s fidgeting hands. She then ran her thumb soothingly over her skin, “You can say whatever you wanna say, when you wanna say it.”

Beside her, Meeks-Martin nodded, “Yeah, whatever it is, it’s safe with us. Ring of Fire.”

‘Yeah, for now,’ Tara thought. It would be impossible to keep things a secret in the next coming weeks. She was already starting to feel the differences, which almost scared her more than telling someone, because she knew she’d be facing it all alone. She shifted in her seat and shrugged her shoulders, while giving a nervous glance down the hall… where the bedrooms were.

“Chad’s not going to come in, trust me,” Mindy promised, “Besides, even if he did, we’ll just tell him it’s girl stuff and he’ll go away.”

“N-no, that’s…” She couldn’t help but avoid all eye contact as she dropped her eyes to her lap. “It, uh… involves him actually…” This was where it got real. Unexpected tears suddenly rushed into her eyes, her chest feeling hot, while her throat started to close up.

The couple observing exchanged a glance, noticing her change in demeanor instantly. However, the longer they sat there, the more emotional Tara seemed to get.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Tara,” Anika rushed to calm her, getting up from her seat, when she saw the youngest’s figure shudder with a small sob. She knelt down next to her and wiped the tears that had started to fall.

But this just made Tara feel even more helpless as she drew her arms away from resting on the table-top to hug her torso, spine curving outward to hang her head further. “N-no, it’s not okay!” she cried, her voice pitched and whimper-like in trying to keep quiet.

“Yes, it is, T,” Mindy instantly told her, moving away from the table as well to go help comfort her. She came around and took the chair right next to her. “It is okay. Whatever it is, we can fix it or we can help you through it,” she soothed, gently beginning to rub her back in small circles. “Is this a coming-out thing?” She asked this, on account that what she was hiding concerned Chad and she hadn’t discussed it with Sam first, which was very weird for her. With how emotional she was becoming, it might suggest her having to break his heart, if hers no longer beat in the same direction.

However, Carpenter shook her head. “Mm— No…” She loved Chad. She loved him so much, which was why this was so hard. She didn’t know how he’d take it, because she didn’t even know how she could take it. There were options, of course, but it wasn’t just up to her. 

He was responsible for this just as much as she was.

“Tara.”

She glanced up with watery eyes to find Anika’s calm and comforting ones blinking back at her. 

“Take a deep breath… and tell us what you need to say.”

This was it. The point of no return. Tara closed her eyes, swallowed back the accumulated drainage clogging her esophagus, and took a deep breath. She felt Anika’s touch on her leg begin to pet her in a similar motion that Mindy was performing on her upper back. Her stomach twinged, which made her loosen her arms’ tight hold on it. She didn’t dare open her eyes. 

“I’m pregnant.”

All my best! ♡ - parker

[malzykins]

if I may ask, how exactly did goopy get masked?

also side note that I feel a little bit weird about sending because I'm nervous about overstepping but future by jack stauber seems very goopycore to me..

rubbing my vile little hands together OKAY!! so I planned on writing literally everything pre-mask down in like one neat little story but I haven't exactly. finished yet. I will try to be brief :3

After many weeks of all the slaving away and group bonding slash therapy slash imminent death scenarios, eventually Goopy and co didn't meet their quota on time. none of them actually know for certain what happens (only rumor that it's bad) so when the sirens start blaring out in space after leaving Gordion, the first thing on the captain's mind is something along the lines of, "they're going to send people out to execute us" or whatever. so, they make a very panic-fueled decision to quickly try and re-route the ship to the most habitable (???) place they can think of, either March or Vow, in an (again, panicked) attempt to evade these "executioners". probably March. anyway, well, the ship does behave as normal, but it doesn't exactly stop the company's disciplinary procedures. mid transit, they all still get that very rude awakening when they're forcefully ejected from the ship, and, at least for Goopy, the shock of it all has him out cold within the first like, ten seconds, only really catching a glimpse of all of his found family quickly turning to specks in the void, and a nearby, quickly-approaching celestial body.. Anyway :] you know how objects in motion in space don't really... slow down? or stop? ever? Goopy's unconscious body is just free floating right towards this thing. it doesnt take long for him to just enter the atmosphere, barreling down into a blistering-cold hell and slamming into a mountain of fresh snow. fucking everything in this boy's body may as well be broken, but he's not dead!! miraculously!!! Eventually he wakes up of course, and holy fuck the pain is almost immediate. he's hurt, scared, confused, and cold as all hell, and unable to move an inch with anything he owns. so he does the last thing he can think of, and that's just to weakly cry out names in hopes that any of his buddies he's come to cherish will hear him and rescue him somehow. but. unfortunately, it only seemed to attract unwanted attention...

EDIT: I FORGOT ABOUT THE SECOND PART OF THIS ASK nonono not at all not overstepping even a little bit I think it's awesome that ppl make connections with my fellas with other stuff!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I did watch it before typing this all out (probably why I forgot) and I definitely see where you're coming from YEEE 🤝🤝 GOOD angst good drama!!!!!!