#and then my brain going *Jake Ryan voice* 'yeah that me'

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

It's so interesting to react to being referred to by a screen-name.

[siremasterlawrence]

Fan project requested and co-written by pleasentreviewbystarfish

Ryan Alexander Taylor is a well-known, and coveted CEO of a popular online services company. The company has been doing very well, and received a lot of interest from investors. Ryan has been looking to further grow the company by buying a new startup specialized in virtual reality. Ryan travels to meet the management of the company to discuss a deal. Ryan’s car arrives a half hour earlier than scheduled - very precise, good, I like someone who knows how to conduct themselves appropriately, but soon, real soon, he will learn to appreciate my way.

Ryan exits his car observing the location in disgust – the building appears to look like a run-down office building which has not really been maintained. The area appears secluded, and somewhat vandalized. There are lots of graffiti on walls and there are no shops in the area. He says “What a dumpster area this is, I cannot even believe that I am here, this is no place to do business dealings. I am not impressed at all by this disaster area, and yet here I am, somewhat intrigued.” He enters the building and is welcome by a secretary, who brings him to the visitor room to wait while her boss arrives. She brings him a drink while he waits before leaving. Ryan drank the drink, not suspecting that the drink was spiked.

The door suddenly locks and the light goes off. Ryan is in the room alone, in the dark, with only his face being lit up with light. Suddenly a voice can be heard coming from the speakers:“Welcome Mr. Taylor! We are so pleased to have you with us today! It is a great honor for us to have you, and we are very excited at the range of opportunities for us to work with you, or should I say… to work on you”.

Another voice – this time somewhat familiar – says:“Oh, don’t worry, we will take this nice and slow, so that we can enjoy every minute of this. We also do want to make sure you get everything that we will be cramming down your brain.”

Before Ryan can figure out what happens, the light comes back on but some static noise can be heard, causing a buzzing sensation within Ryan. The room is fading away before Ryan’s eyes leaving only a white appearance boxing him in. Ryan begins to shout for help, trying to cover his ears but the buzzing goes on.

After a while the buzzing stops. Before Ryan can sigh in relief, a voice can be heard:“Before you leave us, I would really like you to meet the man who has paid a huge sum of money to acquire you as his new slave. I believe you have already met – Jake Templeton!”

Ryan is confused. “Jake Templeton? Wait, he is the employee that I fired last year for stealing company property and for trying to sell company information to our competitors? What do you think you are doing?”

“Hello Mr. Taylor, or should I say Ryan since you are no longer my boss. I am flattered that a busy man, like you, remembers my name, but you will soon learn to appreciate me for who I am! Can you blame me for trying to make some money? I came up with a concept of immersive virtual experience 3 years ago, and you canned it because the prototype development would cost $500,000, and you said it was not ‘cost-effective’! So yeah, I tried to sell my research to competitors, and you fired me! Now I will show you what my concept, properly funded, can do. Yes, I found someone willing to take a risk and invest the money to build it and found some nice practical applications to it!”

Some colors start to flash in the room and a buzzing sound can be heard.“Now I want you to listen to my voice.... feel yourself going deeper... listen to my voice... only I can make you feel this good... you like listening to my voice... imagine yourself on stairs...I want you to walk slowly down those stairs...as you take each step, you will get more relaxed and obey my voice...you want to obey my voice because it makes you feel so good...that’s it, continue going down the stairs...feel your body floating...there is no pain, only pleasure...relaxing...pleasure...my voice brings you that....relaxing...pleasure...

I would not worry about my words at the moment, focus on the sound of fire buzzing through the room, how it is in tune with the colors in the room. Notice the colorful change of sequences on all four walls. Your eyes are getting more and more tired, the drink you took when you came in took care of that. Just relax, your eyes can’t focus on anything else except the sound of my voice, your memories slowly draining away and disappearing, and the world before you is brand new”.

The lights continue flashing and the buzzing continues for another hour or so.A young man, in his late twenties, watches the events from the safety of his private laboratory as a camera was filming everything happening in the room.“Time to see the efforts of my fruit and labor!” He says flipping a switch on his console that makes a door suddenly appear in the solid white room where Ryan is. The door slides up to the ceiling as he walks into the room, in awe of his own genius.

“Now, I hate to toot my own horn, but ta-da! And bravo!” He claps at himself as he stands face to face with the former business titan. Ryan is standing motionless.The young man cups his chin turning side to inspect him. The drool is very apparent dripping all over his face. The young man says “Pathetic! Look at you now – once a Harvard Business graduate, now covered in your own drool.”

He lets go of Ryan’s face, pondering what else this man has accomplished in life. Ivy League education, successful business ventures, award-winning and well regarded in the business world, but now nothing but a statue. A toy, to be used. Coming back to his sense, he begins smacking the man in the face knowing there is no longer any response going to come. Ryan just stands still returning back to the position after his feet lose balance.

He proceeds to grope Ryan’s private parts and give him a spanking, but Ryan still stays motionless. He inserts his hand within Ryan’s shirt and begins to move his hand, brushing his hand across Ryan’s torso to get a good feeling and smiles as he is satisfied with touching Ryan.

The young man removes his hand as he hears someone approaching, then laughs in a mocking tone at the sight of a shadowy figure descending down the stair case. The young man says “It’s about time you arrive to pay and pick up the main man of your dreams.”

Jake appears and says “Well, despite everything that happened and me losing my job because of him, I do find he looks dreamy, so yeah, he is the man of my dreams”.The young guy says “Well, I am usually more into muscular and bodybuilders, but I do find him very handsome. I like the boyish looks. I was not expecting much but he is actually in good shape. An excellent choice for a slave. I would certainly do him. Would you mind sharing him with me?”

Jake laughs and agrees “Sure, you were very helpful so I can lend him to you for an afternoon. What do you want to do?”The young man says “well, the more I look at him, the more I find him hot… Would love fucking his straight ass.”Jake responds “Don’t we all” and proceeds to kiss Ryan passionately while Ryan still staying immobile.

Jake then hands the young man a white envelope with a generous payment. The young man says asks “so what will you do with him now?”

Jake responds “Ah, I have waited a long time for this moment! He will be my obedient slave and serve me, cook for me, clean my house, and when he is not serving me, maybe he can be my footstool or a nice statue in my bedroom. Let’s see? Basically, anything that is humiliating to a straight guy, so of course he is going to get fucked a lot.”

The young man then says “Sweet. Ok, just a reminder. This is still an experimental device and there are lots that we have not tested out yet. You should use the brainwave device on Mr. Taylor maybe once every 24 hours to ensure that he does not wake up or even begin to get back some memories. It is unlikely but you just never know.”

Jake chuckles, “Could be fun if he does wake up actually, realizing how much he has been used, and then bringing him down again just as he tries to escape.”The young man responds “Yeah but be careful” before walking away.

Jake proceeds to grab Ryan by the tie and places Ryan on a cart leaving him like a statue standing in normal position. He is then carted out to the car, Jake rummages through his pockets looking for his keys, and he opens his car trunk. He plops Ryan into it, locking Ryan in the car boot as he goes to the driver’s seat and begin driving off elsewhere.

“Enjoy the tunes, Mr. Taylor, or whoever is left inside that mushed up head of yours.” He taunts through the speakers one last time.He turns the dial on the radio activating the car trunk’s brainwashing station. The back of the trunk has speakers out blasting white noise, and Ryan is motionless the last of his iron will is gone. The noise produced is a quickly changing binaural sound which breaks Ryan’s mind and leaves it blank.

Once they arrived at the destination, Jake opens the car trunk and brings Ryan inside.Unaware of his location or even who he used to be, Ryan’s body lay on the wall, asleep. Jake presses a button on the oddly small remote the man gave him as he left the facility. The remote lights up, blaring a multitude of colors like a kaleidoscope of colors. He points it at Ryan’s head. A red beam is aimed directly at his head, the light then turns green, and a voice can be heard.

“Initiating, initiating, initiating, ... processing.” “Activation code please.” Jake then realizes that the voice is actually Ryan’s voice. Jake smiles, licking his lips. He answers “Ryan Taylor Is A Bot”, awaiting the acceptance, Ryan says “Accepted” and then Ryan’s eyes pop open.

“I am Ryan Taylor the Bot, human-cyborg slave and I am here to serve you. What is your name?”Jake laughs. “I’m Jake Templeton, but you can call me Jake.”Ryan’s expression never changed as he replied in a dull, empty tone: “Yes Master Jake, I am ready to serve you. Please put me through my paces,” responds Ryan.

“Who am I?” asks Jake“My Master,” replies Ryan.”And what are you?” asks Jake”I am your slave, Master,” came as a reply.“Yes, you are my slave. You exist to serve and obey me. I own you. Your mind and body are my property. You have no thoughts because you are a slave. Slaves are mindless. Slaves just obey. You are my slave. You obey me. You must obey your Master. Obeying and pleasing your Master is your only purpose. You love your Master. I am your Master and I own you.”

“Yes, Master Jake, I understand” came as a reply.“Tell me the truth of your purpose, slave,” he now ordered.Ryan responds “I live to obey and serve you, Master,” he began. “I am your sex-slave. My body belongs to you. I exist to pleasure you. Your pleasure is my only desire, my Master.”“You just can’t make this stuff up even if you tried… Very good, my slave, now kneel and lick my feet, slave.”

While Ryan is licking his feet, Jake was thinking what to do next. What should Ryan wear? Maybe continue wearing a suit as my butler? Or maybe wear nothing but a tight speedo? Or a jockstrap? Maybe make Ryan get some tattoos? That could work. Like the word ‘bot’ on his chest? Or ‘maybe ‘slave’? No, that would not look nice on Ryan. Maybe a tattoo on his arm instead? Like a tribal tattoo? Or Chinese characters on his arm, like "bad boy" in Chinese?

Suddenly Ryan’s phone starts to ring and Jake takes it from Ryan’s pocket.“Well, well, looks like your girlfriend is trying to phone you. She is no longer of concern to you. I will send her a text message later telling her you are breaking up with her and are no longer interested in her. Now, on the left of this room there is a table with three pre prepared paperwork. Sign each giving me everything you have, and then I will finish the process.”

“Yes, Master Jake, I understand” came as a reply.“From now on, Ryan, you will seek to please me at all times and exist only for me. You are a robot who will live like any pet would. My robot human dog hybrid.” Jake smiles as the drool is descending from Ryan’s mouth.Jake adds “Let’s go to my room now where you will strip for me and then I will fuck you”.

The end.

[my-healing-journey]

So. I have sole custody of our 2 kids, which means that I’m responsible for making all of the big decisions (medical, educational, religious, etc.) and I do not need to have Jake’s approval before making said decisions. Jake has visitation with our kids twice per month on weekends, plus spring break, half of winter break, and two consecutive weeks in the summer (twice over).

He had the kids for spring break. I needed a break from the kids - I wanted to get my house sparkling clean, declutter, reorganize, etc. - but I couldn’t stop feeling anxious. The kids didn’t want to see Jake. They begged and pleaded with me to not see their dad. They wanted to stay home with me. They were angry with me for taking them to see their dad.

Here’s the thing, though - if I don’t take them to see their dad, he can sue me in court and then the kids can possibly be taken away from me. I have to deliver them to him for short visits every so often, otherwise I risk having to deliver them into his hands permanently, and that eats me up inside. They’re children. They shouldn’t have to be delivered to him at all.

Spring break came and went. I was a workaholic all week. I missed my kids fiercely. Tried to clean the house, wasn’t successful, and wound up hiring someone to come in and do the bulk of it for me. I worked 13+ hour days, binged The Last Kids on Earth (since my kids like the show), cried a bit, continued to miss them, got a massage, and tried to make my executively dysfunctioning brain do things. I felt anxious all week. Jake only let the kids call me on Wednesday (yes it goes against the parenting plan for him to limit their communication with me, but still).

It was around 6pm or so when the kids called me that Wednesday. I was still in the office, trying to wrap up some paperwork. My oldest went off into some room of the apartment where his dad was not present, as is typical for him, and then told me that he was angry at me because Dad had promised to take them bowling, but now didn’t have the money to do so because he ran out since he has to pay me every month. My head spun. WTAF? Before I could think of what to say, my child then said something along the lines of, “Dad said that if you saved all of your money, you’d have $6,000 per month and $70,000 in a year, but he only gets $1,800 per month, and he pays you $600 of that.” I asked my child, “Do you know why Dad pays me?” Child said no. I replied with, “That’s how he helps take care of you and your brother. That’s what good dads should do, right? Help take care of their kids?” His attitude turned around as he said “Hmm. Yeah.”

Then he told me that his dad disagrees with my oldest’s ADHD diagnosis and has convinced my kid that the medicine he’s been taking for ADHD is messing with his brain and he should stop. Child then passed the phone to Dad, who told me that he was concerned because my oldest child is forgetful.

Me: He’s always been forgetful.

Jake: But it seems really dramatic.

Me: He doesn’t live with you all the time; you usually just see him on weekends. His forgetfulness has been pretty bad. The medication he’s been taking has really helped him a lot. He’s gone from struggling with simple math concepts, with tears and frustration and tantrums, to being able to complete his homework on his own within 10 minutes. It’s a night and day difference.

Jake: Forgetfulness isn’t a symptom of ADHD, though. I know, I work with kids who—

Me: Forgetfulness is a classic symptom of ADHD, Jake. Along with voice volume control issues, stimming, and angry outbursts. Ryan has all of those symptoms, and he’s been diagnosed by two separate doctors as having ADHD.

Jake: I’m just saying, he didn’t use to be this forgetful.

Me: And I’m telling you that he’s always been forgetful, ever since he was a toddler, and the medication makes him less so. We have an appointment with his psychiatrist next Thursday; I’ll bring up your concerns with her then.

Jake then handed the phone to my youngest, who ran into a different room and just burst into tears and said he wanted to come home. I asked him if something had happened, and he said he didn’t want to talk about it. Y’all. My heart aches just thinking about it.

The kids came back home on Sunday at the end of spring break, and they were both in an agitated state of mind. My oldest proceeded to yell at me in the car on the way home. My youngest was quiet and withdrawn. My oldest told me that Dad put him on a diet, and ate cookies in front of him with his brother. He explained that Dad is pitting one child against the other, and my poor truth-telling oldest child bears the brunt of Dad’s annoyance and anger. Dad called him names and made fun of his clothes. Among a litany of other things.

My oldest is nine years old. 9. NINE.

I’m still so angry about all of this that I just. I want to scream and punch things.

Who puts a nine-year-old on a diet?! And who pits one kid vs the other and encourages antagonistic behavior?! Where does he get off thinking that it’s appropriate to tell my child to stop taking his medication, and blaming all of his financial problems on me?! Since when is it appropriate for him to talk about things like child support with THAT MUCH specificity and a negative light?! Since when is it okay for him to call my children names and put them down?!

...right. He’s a narcissist, Aerin. This is what he does. This is his whole fucking thing. To stir up drama and bad emotions, and then lord over all those in his life for having negative emotions.

I want him to go away and leave us alone. Forever. Just. Disappear and leave us be. The anxiety and the tension has been running at ridiculously high levels in our home for the past couple of months. He’d seemed to be doing pretty okay, and then all of a sudden he’s just. Decided he was bored with behaving politely, apparently.

My kids’ therapist has reported him to CPS 3x just this year thus far, and it’s only April.

Another incident happened during his last visit with my kids, a more physical one which I don’t want to write about right now because the emotions are still very raw and there’s so much anger and hurt. Suffice it to say, that resulted in yet another CPS report, a consultation with my attorney, multiple discussions with my children’s therapist, and I may very well be authorizing my attorney to file an emergency motion with the court in order to try and slap an immediate injunction onto Jake’s parenting time, pending a full psych evaluation.

This has got to stop. It has to stop.

I just want him to go away forever and leave us alone.

I feel like I’ve moved 1,000 steps forward, only to suddenly be pulled 600 steps backward. All that healing I thought I’d done feels like it’s gone again. Maybe not all of it. I no longer mourn my failed relationship. I feel quite indifferent toward Jake and whatever personal life he may have going on now. But the trauma has come back. Anxiety sits in my chest and in my throat, it’s been there for the past several weeks, and I’m just. I’m constantly near tears. I can’t sleep. I’m so frustrated that this is happening. Frustrated with Jake, frustrated that he just won’t change his ways, frustrated at the hurt he is purposely inflicting upon our children, and frustrated at myself for spiraling again. WTH. I thought I was past what he’d done to me. I thought I had healed. I was dating other men, I felt like my head was on straight again, and now I’m back to feeling unprepared for another relationship (something that I want so so badly), I feel like a giant mess of scattered puzzle pieces which had been mostly put together and then upended by a spiteful toddler. How am I supposed to move forward? Is this just going to keep happening over and over and over again? Will it never get better?

Go away, Jake. Do us all a favor and leave us alone. Ghost us. Never come for us again. Please. Do just one single good thing in your life and leave us alone.

Let us move on.

[angelkurenai]

Imagine getting married with Jake in secret and revealing it during an interview with him after lots of hints and teasing from your friend, and costar, Ryan.

“Hello. My name is (Y/n) (Y/l/n) and I'm here to read... your memes. The ones you've made for the movie “Life”. And comment on them.” you started saying looking at the camera before adding with a grin “Shoot this has to be the most weird and awkward intro you'll ever have on this section, I swear. And you chose me to make the first video- oh wow it will be such a success you guys! Just wait for-”

“No, no! Nope, hold up! Just a minute! 'Xcuse me! Excuse me, coming through! Coming. Right. Through. I'm-” you heard the familiar voice of the man you loved more than anyone in the world and no longer than a second later you saw Jake, holding a chair, quickly made his way towards you. Setting it next to yours he sat and smiled right back at the camera before he finally said “Here.”

“J what are you-” you started in surprise “You- you're here to read memes too?”

“Yeah, I mean why not?” he looked at you with an adorable smile “It's gonna be cool! Besides, they're about the movie, aren't they? We could have some fun!” he looked back at the camera but you gave him a funny look.

“You don't even-” you started, blinking rapidly before shaking your head with a laugh “Jakey come on, do you even know what a meme is?”

“It's- Uhm it's- Something that should be-” he started stuttering, his smile fluttering a bit as he looked with the confusion that you were only able to find adorable; he then looked between you and the camera as if asking for help “Something that we... can read. And put on cards, sometimes- you know, big enough like these and- and we-” and then a small noise came from his throat that just made you burst in laughter.

“Ok, ok I'm old and totally clueless. This is not my thing ok? I just-” he shook his head “Bear with me please.”

“Oh Jakey” you couldn't hold back your giggles, especially as he pouted a bit “Alright. Alright, see, you actually didn't do that bad. Technically not all memes can be read, as in not all of them have words, but the ones we have here do. So it was a nice try there! But uhm-” you paused “I'll give you an example. See, you come across memes even without knowing it on a daily basis. But there are some living ones too like-” you paused when you heard someone walk right behind you but pause when they realized they were into the shot “Ryan. Ryan is the perfect example!”

“Oh hey, look at that! This is were you guys are at?” he tucked his phone back in his pocket.

“Yeah, we- we're kinda in the middle of filming to be honest so if you'd-” Jake started and he nodded his head.

“Oh yeah yeah yeah of course, I get it.” he nodded his head with a grin and small casual shrug “Wait, lemme just go grab a chair!”

“No, no Ryan we-” you started but didn't get the chance to complete as he very fast was able to get a hold of one and place it on your other side, he took a seat.

“We- Man, we were kind of hoping this was gonna be a bit more... different.” Jake started, trying to explain a bit awkwardly “It's- We'd prefer if we were left, well, alone. Like, just (Y/n) and I, you- you know?”

“Alone?” Ryan raised an eyebrow, pausing mid-movement “You mean the kind of alone you insisted on having this last night and showed up this morning, three hours later with hickeys or the kind of alone you would have on set and we couldn't find you for, like, two hours and somehow the closet on the set was locked? Or- wait, maybe you mean the kind of alone you had that time when-”

“Alright!” Jake's eyes were wide and he rushed and exclaimed so that he'd cut off Ryan before he could say any more than necessary “Memes. Let's read some memes!” he grabbed a couple boards from you, giving you a look when you couldn't stop laughing and mumbling “Stop it!”

“It's not my fault!” you shrugged innocently, still impossible for you to control your giggling even though you did try for him.

“Well, hey, ain't my fault if I'm perplexed here guys! I mean-” he looked at the camera “Is it suddenly my fault if they tell me they want to be alone and the first thing that comes to my mind is how last time they told me they wanted time alone, the wiped cream we had on set went missing? No!”

And as if you had not been already laughing to death, this was bound to make your stomach hurt “W-well, in my defense-” you looked at Ryan then back at the camera “It's only cause Gyllenhaal has an exquisite taste in-”

“Ok, ok! We're not going to go there. Not gonna happen!” Jake cut you off but you only grinned mischievously.

“Oh don't try to play innocent on me here, Jake. You and I both know the truth and besides-” you glanced at the camera saying “I was only going to say bed. Don't know what-” you turned to look at him “You had in mind, Jake.”

“And why won't you tell us what you were really thinking about, huh Jake?” Ryan only joined in, looking at his friend with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Only for Jake to shake his head and laugh in embarrassment as he looked down. He nearly hid behind the cardboards but you could definitely see the blush creeping up his neck. This was a sight you'd never get tired of.

“Alright, alright.” Ryan raised his hands in surrender “I'll try to keep it as PG rated as possible. But, before we get to the memes, let me ask this one cause I'm curious: how did you mean that alone with all these cameras around? Or maybe you've already tried doing this whole thing before and, for one, shame on you because I wasn't part of it and two-”

“Ryan!” you squeaked out, eyes wide but still you couldn't keep yourself from laughing at your friend's words. He was one of the few people who knew about, not only your relationship, but actually wedding which he had attended too as Jake's best man while Blake was your own maid of honor. It was inevitable after six years of friendship with the woman anyway. You had tried to keep your relationship, engagement and now wedding a secret for very long because you liked your privacy and loved being able to enjoy your relationship tot he fullest – hence why it had lasted so long – and truth was you didn't know if you were entirely ready to speak about it. However, it was still one of the funniest things seeing Ryan teasing your husband about the two of you and now taking advantage of all the photos and with the help of the fans shipping you, he was really putting his A game.

“Hey, I mean I don't know what kind of kinks he has, who knows? Recording and watching afterwards could be it. Or maybe something else- Hey, how about we talk about that huh (Y/n)?” he asked with a grin, resting his chin on his palm as this time you laughed and hid your face behind your hands.

“Someone please get me out of here.” Jake said in a small voice “Or at least make him shut up. Make him stop.” he peaked up from behind the cardboards “Please?”

“Aw but why? We're having so much fun here!” Ryan teased him and despite your giggles, you placed a hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

“You have to admit, this wasn't what you thought you'd go through when you signed up for the movie, did you Jake?” you asked with a smirk and he scoffed loudly, eyes big as he gave you a look.

“You think?!” he asked sarcastically before facing the camera “Come join the cast, she said. Ryan's part of the movie, she said. It will be fun, she said!”

“Alright, alright.” you cleared your throat, giving him a soft smile “Let's get to the memes before Jake blushes all shades of red there are out there.”

“I'm not.” he mumbled, looking down afterwards “Alright maybe a bit.” he laughed too, and you frankly couldn't understand how he could hold back for so long and not burst in laughter at what Ryan said “Anyway, I'll go first!”

“Ok” you nodded your head, handing Ryan the cardboards with the memes that were actually meant for him to read and comment on.

“This is- Oh wait, this one is of me. And you, (Y/n). This- it's from an interview I remember. Ok-” Jake nodded his head “So it says 'When you've practically just called her your soulmate and she friendzones you. For the thirteenth year in a row.'Oh wow- this-” a chuckle left his lips as you and Ryan too laughed.

“Look at that face! Just look-” Jake said with a snicker, pointing at the photo “I didn't even know I was making it. I swear!”

“Oh my gosh, look at him!” your and Ryan's laughter doubled when he flipped the card and showed himself with pursed lips, looking down in deep thought and looking equally sad.

“It's like-” Jake spoke “Like I can hear the music playing 'Hello darkness my old friend' right there in the background, you know?”

“That- that should be your next profile picture Jake, just that right there, on instagram!” you said in between your own laughing.

“You know why it's funny? Because it's true! And I haven't even watched the interview but I know it!” he said in between laughing as your husband nodded his head.

“Well, for one, she's been friendzoning me for fourteen years because that's how long we've known each other. And oh yes, it just keeps getting more painful!” he nodded his head sadly you knew as soon as he said the words that the fans were simply not gonna let it slip “And in my defense-” Jake looked back at the camera “This is only my last two brain cells, trying to figure out how I was going to survive my next interview which was with Ryan right afterwards. So of course-”

This one made Ryan laugh even harder “Is it weird that I totally believe that?”

Jake chuckled “Not at all. Because as expected, right after our interview the last two died as well!”

“Now I am not shocked!” you giggled “Alright, Ryan you go next!”

“Ok, let's see-” he looked down and his smile got even bigger “I remember this one, alright: 'When you're stuck thirdwheeling with them... and they end up calling each other “friend”.' and this could never be more true!”

And the second he flipped the card, you and Jake lost it at the look he had on his face in the photo. He was staring straight at the camera with an exception that practically said 'Get me out of here.' while you and Jake were right next to him and laughing.

“Look at that face!” you clasped a hand over your mouth as you laughed “Bytheway are these all about Jake and I, what the heck, I wanna embarrass Ryan too!”

“It's like he wants to shoot himself but he's actually contemplating something about it. Yes, it's- it's between killing us or himself!” Jake pointed out with a grin.

“Truth is, I wanted to kill myself . But on the other hand I was probably like that meme that says- And now kiss! But-” he shrugged “Cameras were rolling and it wasn't part of the script. Not to mention that if I said everything I really wanted to about these two, I wouldn't alive this day to read your memes.”

“True. So true.” you nodded your head “Alright, next up is me. Let's see uhm, ok this is like a collage of Jake and it says 'Get yourself a man that looks at you the way Jake Gyllenhaal looks at (Y/n) (Y/l/n) on the set of 'Life'.' oh dear-” you giggled when he grinned “This is so adorable and by the way, I didn't even notice it until now- it's the same look every single time, what's this Jake?” you looked at him with a smirk and raised eyebrow as he couldn't control his own laughter. You looked so serious it only made his laughing get worse.

“Heart eyes, that's what it is!” Ryan exclaimed and you giggled.

“Alright I'll admit I've seen memes like this before, but this one's golden. To whoever made this, I have an answer for you my friend: I agree. Go get yourself one. Because I did. And he's sitting right next to me and he put a ring on it!” you took hold of his face and gave him a loving kiss, your wedding and engagement ring showing perfectly for everyone to see.

.

..

...

“Alright, I gotta admit-” Jake grinned “That was so smooth!”

“Dude it was smoother than you have ever been with her! Especially when you asked her out for the first time! Watch and learn Gyllenhaal!” Ryan chuckled.

“You know what's worth looking into, next? Ryan's face during this kiss. Go make a meme out of it before... the internet breaks down because of this I guess.” your husband grinned at the camera.

“Meanwhile Jake and I will have our alone time.” you added with a final smirk and wink at him.

[mw-draws]

Praxeus rewatch time BABEY!

Jodie Whittaker narrate my life challenge

also, how did I miss that this is set in like,, 10 years in the future ldjdkd

smh jake, you can't go round tackling kids

omg gf's

jesus fucking christ, that poor girls face got clawed right off

love how when we first see 13 she's a complete disaster

nEED SOME HELP OVER HEEeEeeRReEEe

Gabriela checking out Ryan's abs - bi rights

oh god, this bits so gross

mans just fucking exploded, holy fuck

"despite the fact that was overly alarming.... don't be overly alarmed" yeah, don't think that's gonna work doc

"and a talking cat" y'know, casual

Ryan Sinclair, the great bird detective

I really love this look on Ryan? Big coat is a good look on him

that operating room bit gave me mad World Enough and Time flashbacks

who are we kidding, it's probably the same set skfjkfjfkf

that Praxeus shit looks so gross wtf

I love Gabriela with my entire being

people fucken explode and 13's like "okay"

"unplug him and get him out!"

"you said that wasn't safe!"

"situation's changed! get out!" why is this so funny to me

lshskd 13 just appearing like "👁️👄👁️hello"

"haven't factured you into this. too busy thinking about that cat" ldjfkfhf

I FUCKIG LOVE THIS MUSIC. I NEED THIS FUCKING SOUNDTRACK IN MY LIFE

wishy coat wishy coat wishy coat

omg, conflict

Yes. Yaz and Gabriela are now girlfriends

I don't make the rules

the Doctor has no time for this guys surprise

like "wtf is going?" "stfu, I'm concentrating. be surprised somewhere else"

13's hair is so fucking prettyyyy

the tardis has got a fucking Nokia ringtone. I love this bitch

graham's like "can we not have a marital spat right now?"

"that's why you smell of dead bird! I thought you changed your shower gel" ksbdkdj bitch you can talk, you don't even wash your clothes

"doc! Adams in a bad way in there, I think we made a mistake unplugging him from all that stuff in Hong Kong. or maybe you just wanna stand out here watching birds" lmao graham's having NONE of it

I love Gabriela's wee theme, omg

"Ryan, could you dissect this bird for me?" nbd

Graham and Ryan dumbasses unite

"do you have any idea what it's like to be married to someone that impressive" OH NO GRAHAM'S FACE. HE'S THINKING OF GRACE. STOP THIS. THIS IS BULLYING AHHHDHFHHF

"didn't teleport into an active volcano! result!" yaz, you say that as if that's happened before.

"autons?" oh my heart

"did she say brains? plural?" ldjdldj

"hey, doc, that's not a thought - that's a random phrase" graham's so sick of her shit kdjfkjfj

"excuse me. I'm not full of plastic."

"you're full of something" KDHDKDBDKNC RYAN

"hey, doc, let's get rid of this bird cause it really, really smells"

"no." dkdjjd

"see what the bird's natural enzymes are doing?"

"oh yeah. clear as mud!" dkjfjf

everyone is so sick of each others shit, I can't deal with them dknfkfjf

"oh, I'm a sucker for a scientist" 13 out here being a massive lesbian

her EYES OH NY GOD

"thanks for coming for us, eventually" okay yaz, I know she's got a Time machine but she didn't take t h a t long ldjdkfn

"look at you going off on your own and not getting killed" the Doctor's had too much experience with companions going off on their own and dying and that the bar is on the fucking floor

yaz is so disappointed that she didn't find a planet, bless

"ooh, wait, I'm having half a thought" me

suki just fucking explodes and 13's like "fucking, goddammit, not again"

THE GAYS GET TO LIVE

"tiny flaw" *explains quite a massive flaw*

"that's a bit more than a tiny flaw, doc" Graham really is having none of it

YES GAY

"what can I say? I'm a romantic" THEN MENTION YOUR WIFE OR SOMETHING >:(

I can't believe the gays got to live, well done Chibnall

omg I love Jodie's voice sm

I really liked that ep, wasn't as big and surprising as fotj obviously, but still v good. I'd give it an 8/10

[spideyrights]

See You Again - Jake Gyllenhaal x Reader

summary: in an awkward encounter, you see your ex again which leads to conversations of how you’ve been, who you may or may not be with and a few vague regrets

​You tug nervously on the sleeves of your very ugly Christmas jumper, bunching it up in your hands and playing with the stray strands of fabric as a distraction. You currently stood in the kitchen, definitely not a hotbed of activity at this party, you noted as you fumbled around in the fridge looking for a beer. Ryan Reynold’s infamous yearly Christmas party to be exact, certainly not something you wanted to come to but you felt way too guilty to say no to Blake when she put on those sad, pleading eyes. She promised you'd have fun and maybe you would be having fun if you weren't incessantly worrying if your ex was going to show up. It was seriously draining the energy out of you to keep avoiding every guy with dark hair who, from the back, looked vaguely like Jake before you then realised it wasn't him and had to return to a conversation with a new group of people who didn’t think you were insane for the way you bounced around nervously or couldn't make more than a simple mumble as a response in group conversations. 

Ryan eyed you from across the room, noting your weird behaviour, and mouthed a soft I guess he's not coming. Whilst your nerves eased severely, you felt a small amount of disappointment. You wanted to see how he was doing, if he looked better or worse, if he was happy and laughing, if he was with someone else. Okay maybe you didn't want to see that, you realised as the thought sat uneasily, making your insides grind. And so this is how you ended up here, squatting on the ground of Blake and Ryan’s kitchen, rifling through their fridge for some alcohol to take the edge off of this unfortunate evening.

“Bingo!” You whisper softly with a sense of triumph as you finally find a few beers hidden in the back. “There one in there for me?” The voice comes from behind the fridge door though it’s not even like you try to catch sight of them before standing with another beer.

“Yeah sure, here-” You stop abruptly, now having risen from the ground and shut the fridge door, coming face to face with Jake. He has a gentle smile on his face. Clearly he knew it was you when he asked and you wished you were maybe a little more on your guard and thought of who’s familiar voice that might be before you stood with a beer extended to him and a look of awe on your voice. “Thanks.” He grins, taking the drink from your hand and cracking it open.

You still remain silent, unsure of what to say. Actually you’re kind of unsure if you can even form words anymore. “Hi.” There's one word, good job, you praise yourself sarcastically. “Hey.” You’d kick yourself for just standing there staring at him if he wasn't doing the same. The heavy eye contact lingered for a moment more before you were the one to break it, shaking your head and looking to the ground. “Hi, h-hey, I said that already. I, um, meant...how are you?” You stumbled nervously though it did nothing but make his adoring smile grow wider.

“I’m good, you know, all things considered,” His eyes flitted briefly to the ground, clearly still uncomfortable with alluding to your breakup. It had been about six or seven months now since your ‘mutual breakup’. At the time Jake’s work had been taking a lot out of your relationship. He was away a lot and over the course of him shooting abroad you guys grew further and further apart. By the time he got back it was almost like you didn't know each other anymore. But here Jake was now and you didn’t know what it was - maybe his bright blue eyes or that charming smile - but something about him felt like the old Jake, your Jake. Maybe you were just kidding yourself. “How are you?”

“I’m doing well actually,” you told him honestly. “I quit my job like I always wanted to and interviewed at that place I always told you would be my dream to work at. It’s less of a dream now considering I actually work there but I do still love every moment of it.” You chuckle softly as you speak, partly just from the fact that you have no idea what else to do with the intensity of Jake’s gaze on you. He leans back against the kitchen island, never breaking eye contact with you and you step away from the fridge towards him. You both seem to have relaxed into the conversation. 

“I’m so proud of you. I always knew you hated that other place. And what was that guys name? Marcus...Ma-Mark, right?” The two of you laugh together, reminiscing on memories of you ranting about your ass of an old boss. 

“Yeah, I still see that guy sometimes when I visit the office and I swear he hates me for making more than him now.” The gentle laughter continues, dying subtly when you both swig some of your beers. You watch as his amused smile twists into a blend of happiness and confusion. “Why do you still visit the office?”

Your smile drops and you inhale, reprimanding yourself for letting out that detail. Jake notes how you have some hesitance to tell him something and how you lean forward on the counter right next to him, avoiding eye contact. “I just- I go there sometimes if I want to visit- I go see Kyle sometimes and we...get lunch together and stuff like that.” Your words trail off at the end, trying to seem casual but it really make you seem more guilty.

Jake stands upright, his back still against the counter next to you but not even half as relaxed as he was before. Jake knew the name Kyle well. Your former co-worker was certainly a source of conflict for you and Jake as Jake suggested he was way too touchy and flirty with you though you insisted he was ‘just that type of person’. Jake never pushed you on it, not wanting to be controlling, but that never stopped the tension on his end whenever you went out with Kyle back when you were together. Safe to say it’s even more awkward to mention him now.

“Are you and Kyle like-”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that I promise,” You defend yourself quickly though you have no idea why you insist on making your availability so obvious. Actually you do have some idea why you might be doing that. You stand facing Jake now, looking at him though he still stares down at the top of his beer bottle. “And, you know, I hate admitting when you’re right but I think you may have been right about Kyle being into me when we were together”

“Of course he was into you. Who wouldn't be?” Jake makes eye contact with you now and you swear you can feel the air leave your lungs as he makes that comment. His eyes flick around your face as he moves closer. You know what he’s doing and you really want that, you do, but your brain seems to want different things for you. 

“Um, yeah, he was just really pushing it after he found out we broke up,” you divert eye contact, looking away and moving your lips away from their trajectory to his. “Like he was coming on seriously strong and I had to stop him but I think he got the message after I pushed him off of me.” “This guy- I swear to God- I’m gonna...did he do anything to you? I remember where you work and I gotta say I could seriously hurt this kid.” His hand tightens around his beer bottle as he goes off into a manic ramble though all it does is bring a doting smile to your face. You missed this side of him, the side of him that actually cared. Towards the end of your relationship, nearing your breakup, you felt like Jake wouldn’t even notice if you married another man. But. here he was again, the Jake that noticed. Your Jake.

Your face falls with a truthful realisation. “Well you have no reason to do that anymore because you’re not my boyfriend.” Your words are spoken softly but with the way Jake winces they may as well have been a physical punch to his gut. He’s eerily close again. In fact he moves closer, now standing in front of you, hands either side of you on the island. 

“What if I was.” Your eyes grow wide and you set your beer down with a few scoffs and noises of exclamation. “Listen, just...hear me out.”

“I’m listening.” “I know how things were before but they won’t be like that anymore. I love my work okay, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still love you. I only came to this stupid party because I kept bugging Ryan and Blake, asking them if you were coming. I wanna work at this, okay? These past few months have been so rough, I feel like I can’t enjoy any of this other stuff I used to because it’s nothing compared to when I used to enjoy it with you. I want a family with you, I want a future with you. I can even work less-”

You cut his words of by moving your lips up to his, colliding in a kiss. He acted instinctually, his hands moving to grip your waist and pull you towards him as your hands hung loosely around his neck. Your lips moved passionately against each other, only coming apart eventually for air and you were sure you may have come apart crossed eyed from the sheer intensity of the kiss. “Should I take that as a yes?” 

You chuckled in response, smiling brightly. 

“Yes, idiot, take that as a yes.” a voice interjected. You both looked to the doorway, seeing Ryan and Blake lingering there with pleased smiles on their face. You and Jake jumped apart like two teenagers in love, his hands moving from your waist and yours out of his hair. “Oh please, we saw the whole thing. This is exactly how we thought it would go so don't even bother hiding. Now can you both please come out and speak to some of the other guests. There are other people here you know.” Blake scolded. You rolled your eyes, approaching her with a smile you could barely contain, taking her outstretched hand and returning to the party with her, though not before sending Jake a little wink and smile over your shoulder.

Jake was in such a daze he barely noticed Ryan approaching him until he slung his arm around his shoulder. “Nice going buddy, don't screw up this time.” Jake simply shook his head, smiling as the two entered the main party together. “Oh and did you call my party stupid?”

[manrocket-mo]

working for the bruins and it being kinda awkward and tense between you and mo after they loose to boston in game 7?

THIS PROMPT, OH MY GOODNESS. Hope I did it justice with the angst.

The entire series, the entire season, the entire time you worked for the Bruins you never imagined it would end like this. Sure, the Leafs had faced the Bruins three times in the playoffs since 2013 but what were the chances it would happen again.

You were so stupid.

You should’ve known you had been tempting fate the entire time.

You should’ve thought better and more level-headed when Morgan told you that no matter what, it’d be fine no matter the outcome.

You should’ve had an actual conversation about this.

And when that final buzzer sounded, you jumped up with your co-workers, who were just as tired as you were, broken down, celebrating in pure elation and relief and ran onto the ice not even for one second thinking of Morgan until you watched as he hung his head as the Bruins celebrated. You couldn’t react fast enough and he lifted his head just in time to catch you, pure joy, smile radiating bright enough to light TD Garden on its own.

Your heart thudded to a stop in your chest and shattered into millions of pieces. Your boyfriend, who had been so supportive hundreds of miles away, who visited you when he could, who flew you out when you could, who encouraged you to chase every single one your dreams just saw his childhood dream crumble right before his eyes at the expense of your own happiness.

You didn’t even have time to throw him a glance of pity before you were pulled away by the PR staff directing you to capture Tuukka’s celebration for social. When you had finally found a second to glance over your shoulder, his eyes dropped down, his head shaking.

“Y/N, focus!” your co-worker yelled at you, running off to oversee the interviews taking place by the benches. And you had no choice but return to work.

By the time you had finished up and returned to the locker rooms for post-game, your co-worker had already claimed B’s coverage and you had no choice but to return to your offices but not before being stopped by a barrage of Leafs returning to their bus.

You stopped out of courtesy and just maybe to catch a glimpse of Mo before he had to return to his hotel and you got what you wished for.

None of your friends even acknowledged you or looked at you despite being a part of the Leafs family the three years you had been with Morgan and that you understood. What you couldn’t understand was Jake audibly telling Morgan that you were standing there and Morgan shrugging his shoulders and walking by you like you were invisible.

Your heart broke and your breath halted, your blood running cold in your veins. It hurt you.

You moved, your feet carrying you so that you walked in stride alongside your boyfriend of three years.

“Mo,” you whispered only loud enough that he and Jake could hear it so as to not get in trouble. You watched as Jake lifted his head to look at his best friend who walked stoically between you two.

You huffed readjusting your heavy bag on your shoulders which wasn’t helping much with the pace you had to keep.

“Morgan, are you going to even look at her?” Jake asked firmly as he took in your struggle. Morgan didn’t even bat an eyelash, continuing to stare at his feet as he beelined for the bus. That was until Jake had anything to do with it and shoved Morgan just enough for him to collide with you, causing you to drop your bag and thankfully, not your laptop.

“Dude!” Mo yells in frustration, causing busy eyes around you to float toward where the three of you were standing.

Your heart sinks in your chest and your stomach falls when he barely even looked at you, instead glaring at his best friend before taking off.

“Fuck,” you mumble, your hand quickly swatting at the tears that were inevitably coming. You bend down to gather your things when Jake’s hands join yours.

“Jake, you don’t have to—“

“You don’t deserve this, Y/N.” He gathered your media guide, notebooks and pens and shoved them back into your bag.

“Jake, you’ve had a long day, don’t worry about me.” You stand up and pull the strap over your shoulder before you take off, practically running for the privacy of your office.

Once in your space with the door closed behind you, you slide down, your laptop gently falling along your bag onto the carpeted floor. You pull your legs to your chest and try to regulate your breathing. Your mind was racing. Your heart pounding. Your ears were ringing.

“Fuck,” you cursed, trying to count to ten. “One,” breathe. “Two,” breathe.

Your phone buzzes in your hand and before you could even reach three, you’re thrown off again, this time by a message from Jake:

He’s talking to you tonight. I don’t fucking care. We’re still at the Ritz. Come whenever you’re done at work. I’m not letting him do this to you.

You throw your head back in frustration hitting the solid wood door but you don’t even care. You don’t know how you’re going to deal with this at all.

“Fuck,” you curse again and begin scrambling when you hear the feet of others that share your office suite and realize you have quite a bit of work left before you could even think of leaving. You swipe at the tears that fell from your eyes and try your best to look put together while feeling anything but.

Your fingers type shakily, your brain going into overdrive as you tried to process what it was you were tweeting while you tried to calm and distract yourself at the same time.

The quiet knock at your door goes unnoticed with your noise cancelling headphones drowning out all possible distractions until a hand claps on your shoulder causing you to audibly gasp and jump.

“Hey, how’re you doing? Almost done?” your flirty co-worker asks, a grin spreading across his cheeks.

“Yeah,” you mumbled. “Just wrapping up.”

“You wanna get outta here? A lot of us are going out to celebrate.”

You shrink away from him closing your laptop and standing up to create as much distance between the two of you as possible.

“I have something I have to take care of.” You begin to stuff your backpack with your belongings not even bothering to keep polite eye contact.

“At 10:45 at night?” he points out.

You shake your head. “I just gotta go, Ryan. I—“ you don’t even hesitate moving past him and holding your door open for him to leave, locking up and turning on your heel before he could even come up with some retort.

You practically run to your car, leaning your head back against the seat rest as soon as you lock the door behind you. Your eyes fall close and a tear escapes.

Before you could talk yourself down and head home, you put your car into drive and pull out into traffic in the direction of the Leafs’ hotel.

I’m parking, you text Jake.

You sit in your car for a moment, dreading every second of what is to come.

It had never been this bad with Morgan. Everything had always been easy. You had gotten into arguments before but it was always resolved at the end of the day when he crawled into bed with you and pressed a kiss to your shoulder, whispered an apology. If this wasn’t resolved, who knew what was to come? He wasn’t going to be here with you come sunrise. You didn’t have much time.

Your time was cut even shorter when you spotted Morgan waiting for you in the lobby. He didn’t even wait for you to come to him. He didn’t want to.

Your arms wrap around yourself, holding yourself together.

When you approach him, you get nothing but a cold, empty stare.

“Hey,” you greet, coming to a stop in front of where he sat on a one seat chair in the shadows of the lobby.

“Hi.” You stood there awkwardly before turning around and slowly lowering yourself to the coffee table behind you, your knees pressed up against Morgan’s.

You sigh, breathing coming more difficult that you could even imagine.

“Talk to me,” you beg trying to grab his hands out of his lap. You needed to feel him, his warmth to know that you were going to be okay. Your heart only breaks even more when he pulls his hands away from you and he leans back in the chair.

“What is there to talk about?” he questions stubbornly, his blue eyes nothing but harsh when they take your desperation in.

And suddenly you’re angry about his passiveness. “So what? This is it? You don’t want to look at me? Talk to me anymore? My touch is so disgusting that you have to move away?” You could feel the angry tears touch your cheeks, leave their trail.

“You don’t want to see me anymore because of a fucking loss that I had nothing to do with? Something you said wouldn’t bother you, wouldn’t hinder us.” You wanted to inflict pain on him, the same kind of pain he was inflicting on you. “You coward.”

That got him. That hit him. The fire ignited in his eyes and he leaned forward and laughs.

“You think this is funny? Morgan, I haven’t slept well in weeks. I haven’t felt normal and unstressed and for once, for a split second I was happy and you—“

“You’re stressed?” Morgan cut you off. “You don’t know what that’s like.”

You drop your gaze from Morgan’s and shake your head, wiping the tears away. You couldn’t get to him. You didn’t know this man.

“I didn’t expect you to be happy. I just wanted you to be proud,” you whisper quietly, breaking. “I’m—I’m going home,” you sigh, having given up. You stand to leave without looking at him but you couldn’t help it. You take one last look at Morgan who had returned his attention to the phone in his hand.

“So you don’t want to see me? Don’t want me in Vancouver with you this summer?” You couldn’t help the defeat in your voice. Everything about you was beaten down.

You watched as Morgan’s face contorted with something, his eyebrows pulling together although he doesn’t look away from the screen in his hand.

“I don’t know… what I do know is that I have a flight to catch tomorrow and loose ends to tie up in Toronto so I should get going.” You flinched as he got up abruptly and brushed past you, his hand gently falling along your forearm in the process to stabilize you. You closed your eyes as his fingers lingered, though you were sure you imagined it as an act of self-preservation.

The walk back to your car was a cold and lonely one despite your warm coat, Morgan’s old scarf wrapped around you and the pitying look Jake shot you as you found your way back home.

It had been four days and two home games since you had any contact with Morgan. To say you were exhausted was an absolute understatement, between long days and long nights spent tossing and turning with nothing but blonde hair and blue eyes on your mind and in your dreams. If it wasn’t for coffee and melatonin, you weren’t sure how you would’ve survived.

So when the time came to leave early and return home following a long media session before the team took to the road, you were ready to just hide in your sheets not to see the light of day until absolutely necessary.

However, as luck had it, that wasn’t going to happen.

You spotted your kitchen light lit from your window and the idea creeping in the back of your mind sent your heart racing. Surely you had turned it off before you left for the rink that morning but you weren’t sure of anything anymore. Your hand shook as you unlocked your front door, your heart racing in your chest.

You creeped in quietly, not ready for any confrontation but bracing yourself for whatever was to come, stranger be damned. You had gone through enough these past few days that a break in would just be something added to the list.

Suddenly strong arms wrap around you and before you could scream and fight, you feel. You sink into the feeling of familiarity, of being welcomed home. You would know this feeling anywhere in the world. You would always know him.

You couldn’t help the sob that escapes your lips as he holds you there in the foyer of your tiny Boston apartment. Your arms drop everything you’re holding and clutch onto him.

Despite everything that had happened, you needed him.

“Please forgive me,” he begs, his lips pressing to the crown of your head as he holds you to his chest. You bury your face in his hoodie and let the frustrations of the last few days pour out, your glass finally emptied, your bubble burst. “I was so stupid, so selfish to do that to you. I’m so proud of you, baby girl and I let myself make you think otherwise.”

You try to regulate your breathing, just like you had done so much recently but this time, Morgan’s hand rubbing gently circles on the skin at the base of your neck helps immensely and your breaths even out in a matter of seconds.

“I will never forgive myself,” he vows. “I may be upset with myself for not leading the team—but this… this is unforgivable. I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again.”

You breathe in and out. “There will never be a day that passes that I don’t want to see you, that I don’t want you by side,” you answer truthfully. “These past few days have been hell for me and for you. I just want you to hold me… please.”

“I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do.” He pulls back and takes the purse that was half hanging off your shoulder and your bag that was in the floor and moved it aside before pulling you back into his side and leading you into your apartment.

“Go get changed, baby girl,” he suggests, gently. “I’ll be right here.” And you do, washing your face of the makeup and impurities of the day, shrugging into the pair of joggers and Morgan’s comfy crew neck that he left out for you.

When you pad back to your living room, Morgan was just setting down a cup of tea on your coffee table. He looks to you and for the first time you take him in, tired and drained, the bag under his eyes bruised with exhaustion.

He takes a seat and holds his arms open to you and you oblige, straddling him and your arms encircling him as your head falls on his shoulder. He drapes a blanket over you both and holds you to his chest. You press your nose into his neck and let yourself give in and for the first time in almost a week, completely unwind.

“I love you,” he whispers against your forehead.

“I love you, too, Morgan,” you murmur, pressing a kiss to his neck.

Morgan’s hand finds the back of your neck and gently guides you back and you sit up in his lap. His fingers gently trace your features as you watch him lovingly. His thumb follow the curve of your lips and when they reach the dark circles under your eyes, he frowns deeply.

“I caused that,” he says so softly yet harshly that you’re not so sure you hear it. “I’m so fucking stupid.”

Your hand grasps his in yours and you bring it down and kiss his palm.

“You had so much on your shoulders that it finally caved in on you. You can’t do this on your own, Mo and I wish that I could’ve been there for you. I’m so proud of you and everything you are. That loss does not define you, it doesn’t define that team. I’m proud of you. You are the heart and soul of that team.” You trace along his palm and when you look back to him, his eyes are burning into yours, suddenly a deep ocean rather than a clear sky.

His hands gently grasp your face in his and pull you to him, his lips molding around yours for the first time in weeks, his sweet taste in your tongue and all around you.

He pulls back suddenly. “And for the record, I am so proud of you. I am happy for you… Even though you look better in Leafs blue,” he teases, grin lopsided. And that’s your boy. He’s back and with you and all around you.

You can’t help but press your lips to his again but pull back much to his displeasure.

“So you do want me back with you in Vancouver?” you ask, teasing him, making him wait.

He smiles at you brightly. “Who needs to wait for Vancouver when I’ll be here cheering you on here in Boston.” 

He pulls you back to him, your head resting on his shoulder, his arms rubbing up the skin of your back, comfortingly.

He presses a kiss to your shoulder and you know, that come the morning, everything will be more than okay.

MO SOFT/THIRST NIGHT! (cont’d)

Send me some Mo requests or just drop by to talk/say hi!!

[interesting-blog-name]

“Indie Rock” MEGAREVIEW (Hippo Campus - Bashful Creatures/Bad Suns - Language & Perspective/COIN - How Will You Know If You Never Try)

“Indie rock” is a term I never understood. It obviously should be used to describe rock by independent bands, but what counts as independent anymore? Bands like Arcade Fire and Modest Mouse are categorized as “indie”, much like Mac DeMarco, and they have reached a point in their careers of worldwide fame, but they’re still considered “indie”, not because they record their music at home with a $15 mic, but because of their sound. It’s hard to describe, but it’s a light brand of rock that has undistorted guitars, pop structures, and something of a Summer vibe to them. I really don’t know how to technically describe indie rock as a genre, but I have yet to listen to an indie rock album, so I got three short albums from bands that my some of my friends listen to, all under the “indie” umbrella (according to Wikipedia), to see if I actually like the style.

 Hippo Campus – Bashful Creatures

It’s a solid EP. Not much more to say.

I really don’t know what to comment on in this, because I feel like the biggest problem with the “indie” “genre” is that the bands all sound the same, and for a 6-track EP, how much variety can you really ask for? Also considering this is their debut EP. The instrumentation is fine, especially the guitars, which I think really embody the whole summertime feel of the genre, and standout in almost all tracks here, and the singer’s voice is memorable enough, and doesn’t leave anything to be desired at any point. He’s also super hot The songwriting is that youthful, lovey dovey shit you’d hear in a teen romance movie (“Art school girl with ignorant bliss. Peace, weed, cocaine, and mushrooms and shit”) but it’s tolerable (except in Souls, that song’s chorus is a little too generic for me, I think; even though I like how the song starts kind of toned down and suddenly blows up). The closest the EP gets to having even the slightest bit of edge is on the title track, an anthem about not caring about what others think and being yourself, and Suicide Saturday, the biggest song in here, which talks about social suicide and college parties and all that. Unfortunately, they’re also the most forgettable songs.

Sophie So has a really catchy hook, and showcases Jake’s higher pitched vocals very well, it is easily my favorite song. On Little Grace, the biggest change-up is the dub rhythm that sneaks up in the middle of the song, but it doesn’t stand out, and the chorus is the most annoying in the EP. Opportunistic has a fast cadence to it that sets it apart a little bit, plus the guitar fingering is notable, but the track isn’t anything superb or whatever.

It is executed well, doesn’t bring anything new, but I’d listen to it in the car.

 FAVORITE TRACK: Sophie So

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: Bashful Creatures

 Like a 6/10

“You came back, you wanted to see through my two-colored eyes. You left me at home with a handful of downtrodden sighs.”

 Bad Suns – Language & Perspective

I had known Cardiac Arrest for almost three years now, an upbeat song I’d enjoyed a little, so I chose Bad Suns for the second album, and I was disappointed.

After the first three tracks, I had the feeling Language & Perspective had nothing interesting to offer, and I was mostly right. Nearly all songs here could be described as something like “indie-pop”, but with a huge emphasis on the “pop” aspect. The tracks are all so goddamn formulaic and predictable, songs like Take My Love and Run, Learn to Trust and We Move Like the Ocean sound like they literally copy-paste themselves halfway into them until they end, and Sleep Paralysis swaps what could be an actual verse with like 20 seconds of onomatopoeia. The song topics are generic and bland as well, most of them being about “[coming] to you on my hands and knees” and dreaming about an ex late at night and stuff like that, or general teenage anxiety and overthinking, and that would be tolerable if the band at least said it with some kind of variation, but they don’t, it’s just surface-level love and regret songs back to back.

An exception to the bland songwriting in the album is the song Salt, where lead singer Christo sings from the perspective of his transgender friend. I’m not trans, so I can’t relate nor understand if the lyrics are accurate, but the thing is he isn’t either. From the Genius annotations, it seems the friend was pleased though, and said the feelings expressed in the song were things she actually felt, but was never able to describe, so I guess that’s cool of him to dedicate a whole song to her experience. Still, unfortunately the track isn’t such a standout instrumentally or vocally, but one thing I liked was how the hook finishes at the end of the song, when “these memories are nothing to me, just salt” becomes “salt to the wound”, so yeah that was cool.

Language & Perspective is at its best when the hooks are catchy and you just don’t give a fuck. Songs like Cardiac Arrest, We Move Like the Ocean and Pretend are super easy to sing along to, and sound perfect for when you’re in a car driving against the sun (I know I said the exact same thing for the last album leave me alone), especially because of Bowman’s impressive singing, but without that thin veil of sugary pop, what does this album have that stands out? Matthew James, Take My Love and Run, Transpose (which sounds like it could be on a really corny Nike commercial) and Learn to Love just aren’t as memorable and fun, and so they end up coming off as generic, bland and at times annoying, just because they don’t hold up to the melodic fun little hooks on the other songs.

I can’t hate on Dancing on Quicksand and Rearview however, as even though the first’s lyrics aren’t standouts, I can’t help but love how groovy the song is, and the latter, while the melodies aren’t the most memorable here, the lyrics, to me, sound like they have a little more life and personality to them, even if they remain somewhat vague. I have to admit Sleep Paralysis is a mixed highlight for me, despite the lyrics being especially repetitive, just because of how grand the ending sounds and how the eerier chord progression brings at least something new to the album.

Also, really quick before I wrap it up, why the fuck is 20 Years not in the album? It’s in an EP they released the same year which features Cardiac Arrest, Transpose and Salt and it would easily be my favorite track if it was in the tracklist, maybe because it’s just really relatable to me how your teen years pass without you noticing, but it’s also so mellow and would bring such a refreshing little moment in the record.

My difficulties with this album is that I do like and see myself in the future bumping a lot of these songs individually, if I shut down a few parts of my brain and disregard half the lyrics, but when they’re all crumbled together into a project, their single qualities fade and their flaws unite to form a pretty unsatisfying listen; nearly all songs feel static, formulaic, and don’t progress or amount to much – which is pretty noticeable if you realize all songs span from 3:03 to 3:53 minutes - and the instrumentation brings almost nothing to the overall experience, it’s pretty much a backdrop for Bowman to sing his heart over, without much personality of its own. So while it’s not awful, it’s not good either.

 FAVORITE TRACKS: Dancing on Quicksand, Rearview

LEAST FAVORITE TRACKS: Learn to Trust, Take My Love and Run

 4.7/10

“You let your hair down, your face is made up, you know this town so well”

 COIN – How Will You Know If You Never Try

COIN is the least familiar band of the three here, as I’ve only heard Growing Pains from them and I don’t remember anything from the track, but as a quick intro, the band is from Nashville, Tennessee and consisted of 4 members: Chase Lawrence on vocals and synthesizer, Ryan Winnen on drums, Joe Memmel on guitar and backing vocals, and Zach Dyke on bass until he left two years ago.

After listening to the first three tracks of the album, my expectations were pretty high, but after finishing, I feel like this album is reminiscent of a poorly-heated microwave meal: the first three tracks are decreasingly good, the middle of the album is raw, and the last three go back to being increasingly good, with the only exception being the bright spot that is track 7, Heart Eyes, a romantic, entrancing little jam that I can’t help but love.

My big grip with HWYKIYNT is that, for 11 tracks, COIN doesn’t let go of the ear-destroying instrumental breakdowns (it’s not like it’s heavy metal or anything, but the mixing makes it sound like the guitars blow up at some points), tuned up guitars and formulaic song structures, and that leads to many tracks becoming rather forgettable amongst the others. There are, of course, exceptions, but they’re few and I’d say not well-located within the album: Don’t Cry, 2020 is the big standout in the album for me, and I fell in love with it first listen (the context of today being 2020 also helps, I guess), Boyfriend’s defining synth-line and bubblegum qualities make for a lot of enjoyment, especially paired with the light-hearted passive-aggressiveness and rejection on the lyrics, and Talk Too Much, their biggest song, has some cute little lyrics, and an ultra-pop hook that centers the whole song around it and is impossible not so sing along to; but immediately after, the album starts to slow down its hype with I Don’t Wanna Dance, which has an appealing vocal performance by Chase, and starts promisingly with the synths, but is too simple to go anywhere.

Hannah is probably the most forgettable song here, and brings absolutely nothing to the album, and Are We Alone?’s lyrics are cute and focused but really simplistic; in this song specifically, I think the breakdown the band employs right after the hook is really unnecessary, and the song would do better without it. After that is Heart Eyes, which I’ve mentioned before as one of my favorites, mostly because it tones it down a bit, something that really needed to happen at some point this deep into the record.

The song Lately II contains the hidden track Nothing Matters and deals with Chase losing his newborn nephew, a sequel to Lately off the band’s debut album. On the outside, it sounds like just another cheerful song, but the lyrics taken into context I’m sure are very meaningful to Chase and his family; besides that I enjoy the heavier drums in this track and the loose vocal melodies right after the chorus, plus the closing instrumentals are also a nice addition, but I don’t really understand the need to include a hidden track into it; I understand the themes are intertwined, but it could have very well been a separate track, and the way it is slightly harms the song when isolated from the album into, for example, a playlist or a one-time listen, but whatever.

I don’t have much to say about Feeling, it’s your average hype indie-rock track, something you’d maybe hear in a FIFA video game soundtrack, but to its credit, it doesn’t go overboard in itself, the vocals and guitar performances feel very grounded and safe, in a good way. And to finish this off, Miranda Beach brings some solid guitars to the table, they feel very textured and pierce through every other sound; the song is definitely one of the most infectious and ear-catching on here. Closing it all up, Malibu 1992 is the slow jam the album was in need of for 11 tracks. Very stripped back and patient compared to the rest of the song, which makes it stand out naturally, but that doesn’t mean the song is superb or anything, it’s just a refreshing taste.

Throughout a lot of the tracks here I was waiting for something more, a slightly different approach to a song, more introspective lyrics, but it never really came in a way that stood out, and because of that, the start of the album ends up more solid than the rest of it, in my opinion. It isn’t a bad album, but it isn’t amazing either. I feel it’s very derivative, the lyrics are not a standout, and while some songs may be bops, I don’t feel it is strong as a whole project.

 FAVORITE TRACKS: Don’t Cry, 2020; Miranda Beach; Talk Too Much; Heart Eyes

LEAST FAVORITE TRACK: Hannah

 I’m feeling a strong 5 to a light 6 on this one. 

“You’re so concerned about your future, yeah, but tomorrow’s just another day.”

[psychokai1972]

Blind date

Jake Gyllenhaal x  Fem!Reader 

Word count:1078

Requests:      Hey, can I have a Jake Gyllenhaal imagine. Female reader. She’s the actress and friends with Ryan Reynolds, so Ryan set her and Jake up. The rest is up to you ❤️ thanks

Warnings:  fluff, so cheesy

A/N: BTW, MKTO’s “How Can I Forget” is EVERYTHING, I might just write a fic based on it. So happy they are back.

Y/N sighed as she kept pulling the different types of clothing out of her closet, none of them really convincing her of being worthy for her blind date. “I swear I have nothing.” She breathed out in exhaustion. She didn’t know the guy, not even his name! Blake and Ryan, the ones responsible for her date that day at 8 p.m with a guy she knew exactly nothing about, had been way too secretive on who he was. Since she agreed on it, she often wondered why did she say yes on going out with a complete stranger.

But that did not mean that she didn’t want to look good.

“What are you talking about? If there’s something that you have too much of is clothes!” She heard Blake say humorously at the other side of the phone.

Y/N turned around on her heels, her eyes scanning her bedroom. Her clothes where thrown everywhere; she couldn't even see her bedsheets anymore. Her mind grew tired just with the thought that she would have to clean all that after. 

“Well, right now it just seems like nothing is good enough!” She threw herself onto the bed, the metallic buckle of one of her belts pocking her in the back. 

“Where is he taking you?” 

“We are gonna meet at that French restaurant...” She rubbed her temples, her mind trying to remember the name,” you know, the one that’s pretty hard to get a reservation. God, why would he even take me to such a wonderful place for a first date? He hasn't even seen me!”

Blake chuckled at her friends words. “I think that’s the last thing you have to worry about Y/N. Now, so you need something fancy but not too much.” Y/N hummed and nodded her head, as if her friend could see her. 

“What about that dress that tight dress that’s just above your knees and has a bardot cleavage?”

Y/N frowned her eyebrows and stood on her elbows confusedly looking at her phone screen. “Is..is that Ryan?” 

She heard him sigh, and could almost feel him rolling his eyes. “Yes it’s me, now are you going to put on that dress or not?”

“The black one?”

“Yes, honey, the black one, that color is always a safe bet.” Y/N heard Blake mumble something on the background, but could no point out what.

“That’s actually a good idea.” She smiled. “But it really scares me the fact that you know what clothes are there in my closet, like, I don’t even know if I should ask.” She laughed softly. “By the way, since when are you a fashion guru?”

“Since I’m between jobs.” Ryan joked.

_____________________________________________________

“Maybe I should have taken a jacket or something, damn you Ryan.” Y/N mumbled under her breath as she closed the door to the cab. Her hands subtly adjusting the dress before she turned around and walked down to the restaurant. 

Several people were waiting outside, but just one man was alone looking at his wrist watch, making her believe that he was the one. She found something familiar about him, but couldn't figure out what yet. His hair was pulled back and a grown beard covered his features, a sight she very much enjoyed, a suit over his body. “ Forget about what I said before, bless your heart Ryan.” The words merely a whisper as she looked up at the sky, as if the Deadpool actor could hear or feel that she was talking to him.

Y/N held on tightly on her small purse, matching with her black heels with a golden belt.  She took in a deep breath and slowly walked towards the man, the air getting caught in her lungs when he lifted his eyes and met her figure, a small smile crossing his face. 

“You must be Y/N.” His voice was something that reached her brain and stayed there. He leaned into her frame, kissing her cheeks briefly as a greeting before she could say a thing. She could feel the heat drowning her skin.

“Um, yeah, I’m Y/N...and you are?” She bit her lower lip and lifted one of her eyebrows, she didn’t know Ryan and Blake had told him her name. Why didn’t she receive the same treat!? “Sorry, they made sure that you were a complete surprise to me, even your name.” She said before he thought that she somehow forgot his name.

The blue eyed man laughed lightly as he shook his head. “That sounds as something Ryan would do, I’m Jake.” That name matched with that face? Definitely she had heard about him or seen him before, but where?

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Jake.” She smiled shaking his hand, the contrast of his calloused hands on her soft one made shivers run down her spine. 

“Should we go inside?” He politely asked and she agreed. Jake held his arm out for her, a simple action that made her heart melt.

Maybe getting into this blind date wasn't a bad decision after all.

_____________________________________________________

The dinner had went better than she had expected, talking with him was something that came naturally; and she was glad that they didn’t have to force a conversation.

Now, his suit’s jacket was over her shoulders, the temperature had dropped when they finished their diner; and he had kindly offered her his jacket. At first she didn’t want to, afraid that then he would be cold; but he didn’t listen to her sayings and directly put the piece of clothing on her body. She didn’t know when exactly along their decision of going for a little walk on the now calmer streets of New York he had interviewed his fingers with hers, but it was something she was glad for.

“Would it be too soon if I asked if I could kiss you?” Jake asked biting on his lower lip.

His question came as a surprise to her, making her stop dead on her tracks. Jake turned to her, a smile plastered on his lips at the sight of her. God, she looked beautiful; agreeing on going on this blind date was one of the best decisions he had ever made.

Did she want to kiss him? More than anything. “Not at all.” She heard herself say and with those words she felt his hands gently cupping her cheeks, his eyes adoringly looking into hers before he leaned in and connected their lips.

Her hands flew over his, covering them and brushing his knuckles softly.  The kiss was slow and passionate, with no rush for breaking apart.

MASTERLIST

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[fight-till-u-cant-fight-anymore]

Easy to knock down but never fragile

This story takes place few weeks after Amelia’s brain surgery. Just to be sure I’m not thinking this will happen in the show but the idea came in my head and I wanted to get it out. I hope you enjoy it

It was one of the coldest nights in Seattle when Amelia got out of the bar. She had drank a lot. AGAIN. Amelia didn’t go to Joe’s anymore because she was afraid to get caught. She headed back to the hospital where she had started working again. First Amelia thought she’ll sleep there but she was craving for something else. Oxy.

Amelia knew there were still some pills left at her office. After the surgery Amelia didn’t know who she was anymore. She felt exactly the same as she did before the surgery but again something was completely different. That made Amelia very confused and the aftermath of it had arrived.

Amelia was taking drugs and drank alcohol whenever she could. She had shut everyone out and Amelia had to sneak into Meredith’s house every night what she spent there because she couldn’t face Owen like this.

The neurosurgeon found what she had came for.

“Damn it.” Amelia said when she saw only four pills left in the bag.

She sat on the couch and downed the oxy with another vodka shot. After some time she felt high again. Amelia had missed the free feeling for years. She stood up and went out of her office.

Amelia wandered through the halls till she had made it in front of Megan’s room. She felt hurt. Amelia noticed Megan was still awake but alone in her room.

She opened the door and stepped in.

“Long time no see.” Megan said. “Owen told me about your surgery. I hope you’re okay now.”

“Yeah, I am.” Amelia said coldly.

“Is there a problem?” Megan asked.

“I’m sure you know very well there is.” Amelia stepped closer to her.

“Are you drunk?” Megan was surprised. “It’s just pathetic. Go home.”

“Who are you to ask me that? Who are you to tell me what I should do? Who are you to tell Owen what he should do? Who are you to tell my husband he should get a divorce with me? Who are you to judge my actions when you have no idea who I am? Who are you…?” Amelia was shouting now.

She was stopped by Owen’s voice. “Amelia! That’s enough!” He demanded.

Owen had stepped in the room with Farouk after they had went to get the ice cream. He sent the boy outside and pointed to one of the nurses who he could go talk to.

Amelia turned to him and looked at him with her pissed eyes. “And you!”

“Me?” Owen asked.

“Yes, you! Who are you to ask me for a baby?” She was very pissed now.

“Amelia.” Owen’s heart broke when he realized it. “You’re drunk.”

“So what? You can’t judge me!”

“Owen…” Megan started but was stopped when Amelia moved quickly to her and faced her closely. Megan could smell a very strong smell of an alcohol.

“You stay out of our lives!” Amelia hissed but was stopped when she felt Owen grabbing her arm. She tried to fight back but he was way too strong.

Amelia stopped moving and looked into Owen’s eyes again. “Let go of me or I’ll…” She threatened him.

“Or what? You’ll hurt me?” Owen tried to stay calm.

Amelia stared coldly into his eyes. “You cannot only blame me!”

“Blame you?” Owen asked.

“You are as messed up as I am. Maybe even more. You blame me that I run but you do the same thing. When you don’t want to talk about your problems it’s all fucking right. You don’t have to talk because you don’t need to talk things to death. And when I don’t feel like talking about my problems I’m the worst fucking person and wife in the world!”

“Amelia…” Owen said hurtfully.

“Don’t Amelia me. It’s always my fault. You are the golden boy like Derek was in our family. Everything is always amazing with you and you are always the good one. You never ever do things wrong.” Amelia paused.

She wanted to walk out of the room but she was stopped by Owen’s hand which was still grabbing her arm.

“Let go of me!” Amelia tried to get his hand off.

“Amelia, you need help!” Owen was now grabbing both of her arms.

“I need help? I? Need? Help? Look at yourself!” Amelia hissed. She tried to fight Owen’s hands off of her.

“Owen, let go of her.” Megan said.

Owen’s focus went on Megan and Amelia used her chance. She pushed Owen to the wall and ran out of the room.

“Owen… what was that?” Megan asked scaredly.

“Don’t.” Owen raised his hand to air. “She’s an addict. She can’t drink.” Owen covered his face with his hands and sighed.

“Owen.” Megan said sadly when she saw how hurt he was.

“I have to go find her.” Owen was out of the room before Megan could say anything.

She took her phone and dialed Meredith’s number what she had given her just in case she needed anything. Farouk came back in the room and laid down next to her mom. Hugging her tightly.

“Hi… I’m sorry to call you this late. It’s Megan.”

“Oh, hi. Is something wrong?” Meredith’s tired voice said.

“I don’t know.” Megan sighed. “Amelia was here. She was drunk and…”

“She was what?” Meredith’s shocked voice filled her room.

“Drunk, she was drunk. She was all pissed and yelled at me and Owen.”

“Where is she now?”

“I don’t know. She ran off and Owen went after her.” Megan could hear Meredith getting out of bed.

“Thank you for calling me. I’ll be right there.”

—————- 

“Maggie.” Meredith opened her door and went over to Maggie’s bed. “Maggie!” Meredith shook her.

“Wha.. what is it?” Maggie said sleepily.

“Amelia is out of control. She’s drunk at the hospital. Come on. I’ll be waiting in the car and move damn fast!” Meredith was out of her room already.

—————-

Amelia could feel tears burning in her eyes. She ran to the elevator and went to the helipad. Amelia sat on the edge of the roof and remembered how she got high with Ryan on one of the LA roofs. She cried hard and couldn’t believe how she had messed up her life again.

—————- 

Owen ran through the halls and asked directions where Amelia had gone. One nurse told him she had took the elevator but she hadn’t paid attention to which floor.

He didn’t stop looking for her. Owen felt how he pumped into someone.

“Hey!” Bailey said. “What’s going on, Hunt?”

Owen walked back to Bailey and took a breath. “Have you seen Amelia?”

“No. Why?”

“She’s drinking again. She’s very drunk right now. I have never seen her like this.”

“I’m coming with you. I’ll check the OR floor, you take the ER.”

“Deal.” Owen’s phone rang. It was Maggie.

“Hi, is something wrong?”

“Megan had called Mer and said Amelia is drunk. We’ll  be at the hospital in a minute. Have you found her?”

“No, not yet. Bailey will go check the OR floor and I’ll take the ER. Can you go check Amelia’s office again?”

“Okay, we will. Call me if you’ve found her.”

“Okay. Bye!”

“Bye!”

—————- 

Amelia stood up and looked down. She felt free like she was the only one but it was fading away. Amelia needed more oxy for it to last. She walked back to the elevator to get more drugs for herself what she had hid in one of the supply closet.

Amelia got what she was looking for and went back to her office. She got it all ready to breath the powder in when suddenly the door opened.

Amelia turned around and was met with Meredith’s and Maggie’s surprised but again hurting faces.

“Amelia?” Maggie said quietly.

Meredith texted quickly to Owen that they had found her in her office.

“So you really wanna do it?” Meredith asked without any emotions.

“Seriously? What are you even doing here?” Amelia said but got a flashback how she had said the same thing during her LA intervention to Jake.

“Why do you do this to yourself again? Are you still the same junky you were years ago?” Meredith pushed the buttons.

“Mer, people don’t change. They modify. They adjust. But underneath, we are who we are. People just get better at covering up their flaws.”

“Amelia.” Maggie said quietly.

“You don’t believe huh? I’ll show you.” Amelia went back to the table to where she had two stripes of oxy. When she started inhaling the first stripe Owen opened the door and not less behind was Bailey.

Amelia didn’t notice the new audience and inhaled the second stripe of oxy in her system.

“Amelia!” Owen was shocked.

“Now you see who I am. I’m just an oxy addict and nothing else.” Amelia sat on the couch again and relaxed. She closed her eyes and sighed, feeling the oxy spreading all over her body.

“Amelia.” Owen said but no response. The room fell in silence. Owen walked in front of Amelia and kneeled down, putting his hand on her knees. “Amelia!” He shook her.

“What? What do you want?” Amelia said slowly, getting higher every second.

“Please, let us help you.” Owen pleaded.

“Haven’t you figured it out yet? No one can help me.” Amelia said calmly and her eyes were closed again.

“You have to go to a rehab.” Meredith said.

“And if I don’t?”

“Then you’re fired Dr. Shepherd!” Bailey said confidently.

“Well, I’m making your life easier. I quit!” Amelia stood up and took everything she needed and put them in her purse.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Owen could feel anger building in him. He couldn’t believe Amelia was that stubborn.

“I’m going home.”

“Wait… what?” Meredith asked shockingly. “No you won’t! It’s my house and I can’t let you near my kids while you’re high or drunk.”

“Fine!” Amelia felt anger too now. She walked towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Maggie asked.

“Away. You’ll never have to see me again and I make sure you won’t.” And with that Amelia walked out of her office.

Owen wanted to ran after her but he was stopped by Meredith’s hand. “Leave it, she doesn’t mean it. I’m sure tomorrow when she’s finally sober, she’ll come here to apologize. Seriously, don’t worry, Owen.” Meredith tried to comfort him.

Owen sighed and noticed he had hold his breath.

—————- 

5 days later

“Mer, she still hasn’t showed up!” Owen was pacing in the attending’s lounge.

“I know! Don’t you think I know that?” Meredith was losing her patiences too.

Maggie was sitting quietly on the couch.

“I’m going to call Addison. I’m sure she knows where to find her or has any idea what we’re about to face.” Meredith pulled her phone out and called her.

She sat next to Maggie as she waited Addison to pick up.

“Hello?” Addison’s confused voice sounded when she picked up.

“Hi, it’s Meredith.”