#and then obviously they say how taylor gets so much unnecessary hate when they’re the ones starting it in the first place by fuelling

[jentlemahae]

-

[nejibaby]

Gorgeous

Pairings: Neji x Y/N

Song reference/inspiration: Gorgeous by Taylor Swift

Summary: You hate Neji… or do you?

A/N: I didn’t know what came over me please don’t sue 🤣 Please let me know your thoughts, although I couldn’t really reply since this isn’t my main blog... (I just really like reading your comments & reblogs 🥺)

You always thought the gods above adore you because of how lucky you are. For years of being a shinobi, you’re able to go on missions without that certain someone.

Everyone knows that you dislike Neji. Some might even go far and say you hate him. But no one really knew why you hated him with so much passion.

So when you’ve been assigned on a mission with him for the first time, your friends — with the exception of Hinata —immediately know you’d invite them for drinks to get piss drunk and rant about the Hyuga boy.

When you arrive at the bar, you wasted no time ordering drinks and downing them one by one.

“Woah, slow down Y/N!” Sakura says.

“Let her be, Sakura. You know how she gets when Neji is involved,” Ino tells Sakura, “No words are going to stop her, might as well just look over her.”

Sakura gives her a frown then slips in glasses of water in between the drinks you had lined up.

“Ugh, I hate this! Why do I even have to be assigned with him?” You complain.

Ino sighs, “It was bound to happen anyway, with the shortage of shinobis from the back-to-back attacks here in Konoha, and all that. You’ve been lucky you hadn’t been assigned on missions with him for this long.”

You huff. “The gods hate me so much.”

Ino just rolls her eyes at you.

“Why do you hate Neji so much anyway?” Sakura asks.

You take a shot before answering. “Have you heard how he talks? He’s always talking about destinies and fates and how we can’t change them!”

Sakura and Ino look at each other. Then Sakura says, “I don’t know what year you live in, but Neji has changed ever since he met Naruto.”

“—And besides that,” you continue your rant, “He’s such a know-it-all. And he just always has to explain everything to us like we don’t understand anything.”

“I mean he’s really good at analyzing things and breaking them down for us so we can follow the reasoning behind things,” Sakura says in defense of the poor man.

“Shikamaru is just the same but I don’t see you hating on him,” Ino adds.

You pay no mind to their statements, knowing they’re probably right but you weren’t just going to admit that. “—And he always sounds so bossy! Everyone looks up to him and heeds his words. It’s like he has this magnetic field that attracts people and shit. It’s so fucking annoying!”

Ino and Sakura were both about to say something about your statements but no words came out despite them opening their mouths. You squint at them, a contrast to the way their eyes had widened.

“What?” You ask.

“I think we should talk, you’re being a little too loud,” someone behind you says.

You bite the inside of your cheeks, knowing who that voice belongs to. You feel your face getting hot — from the embarrassment or from the alcohol, you weren’t sure. You clear your throat, look behind you and greet, “Neji.” You try to make your voice sound friendly, but you were so used to saying his name laced with venom that it’s just impossible for you to sound amicable.

He’s taken aback by the hostility in your voice. He’s aware of your hatred towards him so he tries not to bother you with his presence but you’re talking too loudly about him that it was becoming uncomfortable to him. Besides, you two are going to go on a mission together, it’s better to resolve things between the two of you right now, or at least before the mission starts.

Neji knows he hasn’t done anything to wrong you and as far as he’s concerned, both of you never talked to each other yet so he wasn’t really sure why you despised him so much, until now, that is.

He holds his hand out for you to help you stand. How gentlemanly, you wanted to sneer but you stopped yourself. Instead, you clench your fists and glare at him.

When you don’t make a move to stand up, he gently grabs a hold of your hand and tugs you towards the exit of the bar. You’re too shocked by the action that you didn’t get to protest. You know damn well Neji avoids physical contact with everyone, except during training, of course.

By the time you’re both out of the bar, you aim a punch at him. But with your drunkenness, you miss. That, and he easily dodged it.

“What are you doing?!” Neji asks, surprised by your action.

“You should think about the consequence of touching my hand.”

His brows furrow, trying to understand you. He doesn’t want to make things worse so he chooses to apologize instead.

You don’t respond, opting to lean back against the wall and cross your arms instead, considering your abrupt movement made your head feel dizzy. You tried not to wince at the pounding of your head. God forbid you’d let him see any weakness in you.

Then you take a look at Neji who seems to have shifted to a more relaxed stance after your unexpected attack. Seeing this, you try to collect yourself as well. Or at least as much as your drunk mind can.

Neji takes your silence as a signal to talk. “We’ve known each other for so long now because we have the same circle of friends, but we never really got to talk to each other until now,” he starts. “I have seen you interact with everyone except me. At first it did not really bother me, but then I found out you hated me. In order to avoid unnecessary arguments or whatsoever, I let you be and kept my distance. I did not understand why, until I heard you talking a while ago—”

There was something unnerving about his lavender eyes staring at you so intently that must’ve made your mind short circuit, so you cut him off and blurt out, “You should take that as a compliment.”

To say that Neji is confused is an understatement. The creases on his forehead deepen at your declaration. “What do you mean?”

You close your eyes and just shrug. Your mind wasn’t cooperating with you so you’d rather just not talk. You keep silent for a whole minute meanwhile Neji waits until you speak again. When the minute passes and he still hasn’t said a word, you ask, “Why don’t you just go back to Tenten or something?”

That sounded wrong.

Frankly, that wasn’t what you plan on saying, but your inebriated mind couldn’t comprehend what you just said and its possible implication.

If other people were to listen to your conversation right now, they would probably assume that you were jealous, or maybe even insecure with Tenten, but Neji was different from other people. Luckily for you, you both share a similar way of thinking. He knows you’re trying to deflect.

“Tenten’s your girlfriend, right?” You couldn’t stop your mouth from blabbering anymore.

“No. She’s a friend.”

This was news to you. You always assumed they were together since they spend a huge amount of time with each other.

“So you’re single?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh, that’s honestly worse,” you thought. Or at least you intended it to be just a thought but you ended up saying it out loud.

Neji doesn’t know if he should be offended by your statement or not. Was it worse because no one’s going to keep him in line? Shouldn’t you be glad no one’s going to suffer the fate of being his girlfriend? Those were definitely something you’d say. But he’s uncertain, so he pushed those thoughts aside, knowing full well you weren’t going to answer him properly if he asked the meaning behind your words.

Since you’re so keen on changing the subject regarding your hatred for him when he’s obviously trying hard to make amends with you, he decides to just drop it and talk to you when you’re completely sober. “Is Kiba going to come get you?”

“Why should he?” It was your turn to furrow your brows.

“You’re drunk and he’s your boyfriend.”

You snort. If he said you were seeing Kiba then you definitely wouldn’t deny it and you’d shut your mouth. You aren’t in a relationship with him, or maybe you are, if friends-with-benefits is considered a relationship. So Kiba is in no way your boyfriend — that label entails commitment and of course, love. However, your setup with Kiba was more of an agreement rather than a commitment and instead of romantic love, there was only love for a friend.

To correct him you say, “He’s not really my boyfriend.”

Neji was never one to assume unless there’s a basis. He knows this about himself. So when you deny your relationship with Kiba, he was skeptical, and a smaller part of him was ashamed that he reached such a conclusion without asking first.

It only goes to show that you both have wrong preconceptions about each other, and that you both have a lot to learn about one another.

“Ah, sorry. I thought—”

“It’s fine,” you wave him off.

Neji’s eye twitches. You cut him off twice now and he doesn’t appreciate it at all. He’s a very patient man and it takes a lot to get a rise out of him or maybe even get a reaction. But you had him shift from being apologetic to confused to ashamed and then to being annoyed in a matter of minutes.

Surely this wasn’t normal, right? What kind of power do you hold that you could make him easily shift moods? For a moment, he considers the possibility of you casting a genjutsu on him but quickly dismisses the thought when he senses that your chakra flow is normal.

You quickly notice his annoyance and you immediately feel bad for your actions. “‘M sorry,” you mumble with a pout, looking down on your feet.

The apology softens the Hyuga boy immediately. He’s never really heard you address him so sincerely and without malice all throughout this conversation, or ever. But he’s seen you do this with your other friends; he’s seen you readily set aside your pride for them. Your friends admittedly claimed that this was one of your traits that makes you so special whenever they tried coaxing him to talk to you and befriend you.

Unexpectedly, Neji smiles. It was truly a rare sight, and it was directed to you. You feel your heart flutter.

“I-I should, uhm, head home,” you internally cringe at the way you stuttered the words.

“What about Ino and Sakura?”

“Ah, I’m pretty sure they’ve gone ahead when I left.”

“And Kiba won’t pick you up?”

“Nope. He’s somewhere doing god knows what.”

Neji gives a contemplative stare.

“Anyway, I think you already know that we won’t be able to talk properly since I’m drunk, so I’ll go now. Let’s talk some other time, I guess. Bye!” You say a little too fast.

“Wait! Let me walk you home.”

You huff. “Do whatever you want.”

Silence follows after that. You’re particularly happy that the walk to your home is quick since you aren’t sure how to act around Neji.

He walks you until the door and you quickly mumble a thanks and shut the door.

As soon as the door is shut, you immediately slump to the floor, dropping your facade along the way.

The fact of the matter is that you don’t hate Neji. It’s quite the opposite actually. You just don’t know how to express your feelings properly.

For a moment you wish you could be like Hinata who’s content at watching Naruto from the sidelines. You, however, instead of feeling content, you’re furious. Because there’s nothing you hate more than what you can’t have. And this is what your face chooses to express whenever Neji is around, which is why you couldn’t blame your friends or other people for that matter when they assumed you hated him. You just went along with them, to save face.

The white lie was furthered by their observation that you don’t talk to him. To your defense, it’s not that you don’t want to talk to him, it’s just that you can’t. Your mind literally goes haywire.

Just like in your conversation earlier. When you first cut him off, and blurted out the first thing on your mind.

You should take that as a compliment.

What your mind wanted to say is: You should take that as a compliment because even when I’m drunk, it’s you I keep on thinking about.

Not to mention how embarrassing it was when you asked if he’s single and thought that that was so much worse than being in a relationship. Because how can he be allowed to be single when he’s just so gorgeous it actually hurts?

You bang your head against the door a couple of times in frustration.

Unbeknownst to you, Neji is still standing on the other side of the door, dumbfounded by how fast you shut it in front of his face. Just as he’s about to walk away, he hears a whack on the door. His mind immediately assumes you got hurt. As he raises his hand to knock on your door, he stills at the sound of your voice.

“Stupid Neji and his stupidly gorgeous face, ruining my life by not being mine.”

[fayevalcntine]

Folklore anon! Thank you so much for your response and the link to that video!! The look I've always seen as the one, if my wishes came true it would have been you- ty Taylor. You pointing out the new beginning between them is making me think the look is more resurfaced feelings bc they've been spending time together with the promise of more which I love!! I really hate the discourse around the look and around Jess being too good for Rory there's an undercurrent of misogyny in it imo.

It’s not a problem! I’m glad to talk about them whenever I’m asked. And I agree, I think one way to interpret the look in my opinion is Jess thinking of their past and how he used to feel about her. I find it kind of hard to believe that Jess has been ‘pining’ over Rory for like 10 years because even though we don’t know much about his life after season 6, they’re both adults who lead their own lives separate from each other? As much as I like to use parallels between them and Luke/Lorelai out of spite (since people love to argue against Rory/Jess ever possibly being a thing again), their story is vastly different from LL’s, not to mention the fact that even when Luke ‘pined’ over Lorelai, or had lingering feelings for her, he still had other relationships and they lived in the same town together and were close friends. In comparison, Jess is living his own life and minding his own business before he gets to see Rory again in the revival, so I hate this weird notion that the look should be automatically interpreted as him ‘holding off’ his life for Rory and that such an idea should be despised and that Jess now deserves someone better than Rory. 

I definitely agree that there’s this prevailing undercurrent of misogyny to it. It’s so annoying to me that since Jess has his life together while Rory doesn’t, she doesn’t deserve him in her life and that Jess should have some better girlfriend who, to be honest, would only exist for the sake of ‘taking care of him’ and being better than his ex. It’s not surprising to see the fandom prioritize the male character over the female, and even though Jess arguably got better writing and sympathy from the narrative and Amy, Rory obviously didn’t, but since she’s unsympathetic and badly written in the revival, and a female character no less, then it doesn’t matter whether she deserved better from Amy or not, because at the end she sucks and Jess just deserves better. It’s why I hate most fanfics that pair Jess up with another female character, not because I would dislike Jess ever being with someone else other than Rory, but because too often, these fanfics serve as some channel for fic writers to throw out all their frustrations onto Rory for.........being badly written by Amy? In these cases it’s not enough to depict Jess being with someone else and leading his life separate from Rory’s, but Rory has to be deliberately dragged through the mud and intentionally written as this horrible person in order for Jess to ‘wake up’ from still being into her and either judge her for her mistakes or ridicule her, or just pity her and act like he has some higher moral standing by separating his life from her. It’s ridiculous and just completely unnecessary to me, not to mention blatantly misogynistic. You can write Jess with whoever, you really do not need to bring Rory into any of this.

Another thing that annoys me over this whole discourse is that Jess had also gone through a tough period in his life as well, and grew up in a far from conventional family. I can literally never see Jess judge Rory for her mistakes or from her getting pregnant from an affair, and not just because he cares about her or loves her, but because he’s already been through a period of hating himself and just sinking lower because of it. I know that it’s necessary to mention that Jess’s life and low point is vastly different from Rory’s, not to mention the fact that this took place at different stages in their lives, but it’s still something Jess could understand? I mean, he wasn’t even judgmental towards Luke for having relationship problems with Lorelai, despite the former being an older adult. Jess as a young adult at 21 didn’t hold a grudge against Rory for kissing him while being with Logan, so I have a hard time believing Jess would hold any of Rory’s actions against her, or ever want to ‘distance’ himself from her because of them. He obviously only wants to take care of the people he loves when they’re in some crisis (re: Luke), and I mean, didn’t Rory also want to help him when he was a teen as well? Jess getting his life back together was obviously by his own effort, but he himself told Rory that he ‘couldn’t have done it without her’, which makes me think that not only was Jess being driven to write a book partly because of her insistence that he could simply be more, but also wanting to do that for himself. I don’t want to say that Jess would or does feel like he owes Rory that, because he obviously shouldn’t, but to me there’s kind of a beautiful parallel there, to see Jess encourage Rory to pick up her own life and better it and possibly be by her side when she does that. 

[banjodanger]

X-Men Origins: Wolverine(2009)

I’ve got a lot to talk about, so I’m going to jump right in with a very unpopular opinion. This may SHOCK and OFFEND certain readers, but I’m not one to shy away from speaking my mind. More sensitive readers should beware, however, because I’m not going to shy away from rattling cages and saying what NEEDS to be said!

So, ready yourselves, because...

Origins is not the worst X-Men movie.

There. I said it. PBBBBBBTTTT!

I’m not arguing that this was a good movie, hell, there’s a good argument that this isn’t even a competently made movie. But this movie is also responsible for some of the absolute best movies to come from Fox’s X-Men. First Class and Days of Future Past are two of the absolute best movies of this series, and it’s doubtful the other two Wolverine solo movies would have aimed as high as they did if this movie hadn’t been so widely mocked. If you go back to watch this movie, try to keep in mind eight years later this series would get nominated for a screenwriting Oscar. Whatever your opinion of awards, that’s a hell of a turnaround, considering the story this movie tells is like three separate stories stapled together. Finally, however much this movie misunderstands Deadpool, it was right on in casting Ryan Reynolds and eventually gave us better Deadpool movies than we could have hoped for. It shouldn’t go unnoticed that both of those movies use Origins as a solid foundation for jokes. I’m not going to talk too much about Deadpool in this movie, because I plan to cover it in more detail when I get to the first movie.

But I’m not discussing those movies, I’m discussing Origins, and Origins is not very good. The CGI looks cheap and outdated, not just by the standards of the time it was released but by the standards of five years previous. And the movie makes said terrible CGI hard to ignore because, to quote the philosopher Michelle Branch, it is EVERYWHERE. Most people are quick to bring up Wolverine’s claws effects, and they should because they somehow look worse than any of the three previous movies and it’s the most easily noticeable. I’m not expecting them to have Hugh Jackman actually fighting and jumping around on top of a nuclear vent but it looks like they’re doing it in front of computer wallpaper. That hill outside the Hudson’s farmhouse literally looks like the default Windows XP desktop. I’m surprised Agent Zero isn’t hiding behind the recycle bin. This isn’t to say I don’t expect lots of CGI in my comic book movies,but I expect better when someone is dropping over one hundred million for a guy with metal claws to fight a mute with impossibly long sword fists.

I could ignore all the bargain basement effects if there was a good story, but there isn’t one. There’s about two or three stories and they’re all bad. Gavin Hood wanted to make a throwback sevnties-style revenge movie, completely self-contained and R-rated(Hey, does that sound familiar?), but the producers wanted extra characters they could spin off into their own films. And as much as I want to excoriate them for that, I can only get but so mad. This was a big franchise that was approaching ten years since its first film. They were looking towards the future and that’s what their job was. The problem is that failure to find a common ground comes through on the screen. Some of the strongest scenes are between Logan and Victor, to the detriment that most of the other characters who come off as unnecessary cameos. That boxing scene between Logan and Fred Dukes could be a thirty second phone call without really losing anything.

It’s disappointing, too, because a lot of the performances in this movie aren’t bad. Believe me, I wanted to hate Will.I.Am. I was going to drag him and talk about all the terrible music he made but...he’s not bad in this movie. I’m not going to say he missed his calling by not becoming an actor full-time, but I enjoyed his performance and wish the movie had used him a little bit more.

My humps is still one of the worst goddamned songs ever.

Gambit was great in this movie too. Taylor Kitsch had this bizarre run of putting in good performances in hated movies. After this, he did John Carter then the second season of True Detective. That’s a shocking run of bad luck, and too bad to, because he’s good in all three. We missed out not getting at least one more movie with his take on Gambit, because he gets maybe fifteen minutes of screentime but he manages to be memorable, charismatic and charming.

Helicoptering with a bo staff still isn’t part of his goddamn power set though.

And I’m not going to forget Liev Schrieber, who makes an absolutely compelling villain. The only problem with his character at all is that he puts such a great performance that it stretches belief to imagine this is the guy that becomes a silent henchman in the first movie. There’s simply nothing in his performance to suggest they’re the same person. It would be like if the twist of Phantom Menace was that Darth Vader was originally Jar Jar Binks, or if they hired Nora Ephron to write a Hellraiser prequel. 

Even the Scott Summers we get in this movie is pretty good despite looking like a guy that steals copper wiring out of abandoned gas stations. Although I really question why Gambit watches them run off and I guess just assumes they’re being abducted by a good guy.

That leads me into the whole problem with prequels. Things happen in this movie and characters seem to live simply because earlier movies dictate that we have to see them again. It simply does not make sense for Kayla to leave Stryker alive. She has every reason to kill him, but she doesn’t, because he needs to be the villain in X2. Gambit doesn’t chase after the kids because they didn’t want to have him interact with Professor X. Sabretooth survives because he has to fight Wolverine on top of the Staute of Liberty while making no reference to their apparent relationship as siblings, or any words of any kind. This movie is awkwardly shoehorning itself into the lore established by the previous movies and it results in characters saying and doing things that go against what this movie seems to lead up to. The ending of most of those seventies revenge flicks was a bloody murder. Here, Stryker hurts his feet a little. It’s just not the same thing.

Ok, are you ready for the problematic parts?

Let’s start with Native American representation, because it ends up being a pretty big part of this movie. Lynn Collins’ Wikipedia says she claims Cherokee ancestry, so I’ll give the movie credit on that, but as near as I’ve been able to suss out, the myth she tells does not exist outside of this movie. First off, Wolverines do not howl. At all. They’re not wolves, they’re related to weasels. They’re small, vicious bastards. That information was readily available in 2009, by the way. Furthermore, the information I can find says that the moon in Native American mythology is predominantly gendered as male. Now, that’s not a blanket statement. This was the research I was able to conduct, and mythology, as with a lot of oral traditions, are a pretty mutable thing. Given that I was unable to find any mention of this myth that didn’t quote it from the movie, I feel pretty comfortable calling this myth nonsense.

Hey, what’s your tolerance for fatphobia? Because that’s going to impact how you feel about Blob’s character. Look, from his very first appearance he’s been a fat joke. That’s it. He’s a rude fat guy whose mutant power is being fat, hell, part of his power set is described as a “personal gravity field.” So while I can’t blame the movie entirely for this character being problematic, you’ve got to ask why they chose this character as the one that had to stay true to the comic book. He was in poor taste when he was created, when this movie was made, and now. And I absolutely can blame the movie for making him a fat joke.

At least they didn’t go the Ultimate comics route and straight up show him eating another character. Small blessings.

On a more final note, there’s that very strange character choice in the beginning credits. I know that they want to illustrate early that Wolverine doesn’t view violence the same way Sabretooth does, but why would they choose nazis as the villain in that moment? Even if they weren’t the most enjoyably killable villains in history, the last three movies have made the atrocities of the Holocaust a huge emotional linchpin of a major character. So it comes off as a genuine shock that this movie would use, in its introduction, a moment of sympathy for these very same villains. So you needed to show Wolverine with sympathy? Have a bar fight in France after liberating the country. Have them fight in the Korean war. Maybe Wolverine mourns a kid shot on the front lines. There’s a hundred choices that don’t involve Wolverine getting sad over a bunch of nazis.

So, why don’t I think this is the worst X-Men movie? I’m clearly not calling it a forgotten classic, and I’m not recommending you watch it unless you’re a weird completionist blogging about your arrested development on Tumblr. Sure, there’s some forgotten performances in here that deserve some consideration, but the movie is mostly a mess, a result of too many cooks with diverging visions. There’s a good revenge flick here, but it gets buried and muddled by a desire and knowledge that this movie has to simultaneously explain the past that led to the first movie and set up future installments. It tries to do too much and ends up not doing much of anything. I followed up on some of the people involved in this movie. Obviously Ryan Reynolds had the last laugh, but it still took seven years and a leaked teaser. Hugh Jackman learned from the mistakes in this movie and the rest of the Wolverine movies are pretty great. Gavin Hood, who got this job after being nominated for a foreign language Oscar, directed another big-budget flop with Ender’s Game. However, earlier in 2020 he apparently bought a four million dollar house so I don’t feel bad for him. Also, the flop of Ender’s Game could possibly involve Orson Scott Card being a vocal and unapologetic homophobe. Seriously, what is it with beloved fantasy authors and hate towards LGBT groups? You can conceive of wild, uncharted space and magical realms but the idea that two guys love each other is too far out?

Next in the series, from failure comes success, as we meet Xavier and Erik as frenemies and launch a million slash fictions.

[iknownothingihearnothing]

BoJack Horseman: 5.1 “The Lightbulb Scene”

I’ve been busy the past few days watching and rewatching the latest season of BoJack Horseman to properly recap it for you all and because BoJack is AWSHUM. Seriously, it is one of the best shows on Netflix and that is saying something because Netflix is stuffed with content for our eyeballs. Like whoa.

As I write this, they are likely releasing three new shows and two movies. Netflix has money to spend and spending it they are. Like a drunk lottery winner. 

I love BoJack Horseman. It deals with heavy topics such as depression, anxiety, miscarriage, and divorce. If performed by real people, all of this would be unbearable. But because these are anthropomorphic animals mixed with cartoon humans, it’s delightful. 

BoJack is about an aging 90s sitcom star who gets everything he’s ever wanted but still hates himself. Oh, and he’s a horse. He’s a walking, talking horse who wears clothes. Come on, that’s funny.

He has a new show this year called Philbert, named after Princess Carolyn (henceforth referred to as PC) and Ralph’s sadly miscarried baby, Philbert. Which makes a lot of sense because her work is also her baby. In a depressing way.

A lot of BoJack makes sense in a depressing way. 

We open on Philbert’s Hollywood (excuse me, Hollywoo) set, where a bunch of fish ladies are synchronized swimming to a song about Los Ageless. 

(Like this but fishier.)

Inside, a femme fatale that is a lizard in lipstick shoots Philbert and when his blood pack doesn’t explode Flip, the show’s creator, calls cut. PC, who forged BoJack’s name last season on the Philbert contract to get him attached to the show, assures him he’s doing just great.

PC also crows about her producer credit. “I was watching you, which is all a producer does!”

Side-eyeing producer credits from now on, man.

What does that even MEAN?!

BoJack tries to get Flip’s attention but Flip blows him off. We pan to Mr. Peanutbutter, who is in crafty for some reason dressed as Julius Caesar, is in Warbler Brothers Studios pitching ideas to Flip. John Philbert’s house looks exactly like BoJack’s because Philbert needs to be “cut off from the rest of the world”.

...Oh I get it.

Oh, Angel. IDC what he does, he’ll always be Angel to me.

Later on, BoJack and his new costar, Gina, are hookin’ up, which is totes cool in the BoJack universe because animals know their own minds and are able to consent. It’s like Star Trek. Different species even have babehs. Somehow. When BoJack fails to “perform”, Gina’s about to leave when he asks her if she likes her character, who is, of course, named Sassy Malone. She does not. Sassy’s main characteristics are that she hates bras but loves cold rooms; she is mostly there for jerk off fodder. But she has a mortgage to pay. 

BoJack is lonely post Gina hookup and calls a sleepy Hollyhock at college who, if you remember from last season, was straight up poisoned repeatedly by Beatrice when she slipped her a Chub-B-Gone roofie in her coffee, sending her eight dads to Los Ageless in worry. 

At Tabbywood, PC’s abode, we are reintroduced to one of BoJack’s many in-universe gimmicks:

The actors are the same names: Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor blah blah boring. She should’ve been called Elizabeth Tail-or. Or Elizabeth Taylpurr. 

Yolanda wonders what Todd, who is now living with PC, will do all day on his butt when she’s at work. He is totally content to do nada and she is obviously not content to let him do nada so this will certainly be an issue going forward in their relationship. 

I forget what Yolanda is. I know she is from the ocean. Is she a sponge? A starfish? What? 

PC very sadly lost little Philbert last season so this year she has decided to adopt. Her adoption agent? Literal Mother Goose. After she signs over a 60K check, Mother Goose flies the coop--also literally--and leaves her in the lackadaisical hands of caretaker Tracy, who at first thinks she’s five months pregnant. 

Fun!

At the Warbler Brothers Studios, Flip and the casting director are searching for women, some human and some not, to play strippers in an upcoming scene. Three are human--one is either a ghost or a lady in a Burka with drawn on boobs, though I think it’s a Burka; it’s white though so I could be wrong--one is a frog in pearls, and the last is a giraffe whose head we don’t even see at first.

This is why I love BoJack. Who else would think of this shit?

BoJack himself knocks on the door and finally gets to speak to Flip. 

Also why I love BoJack. It unflinchingly and cacklingly points out blatant Hollywood hypocrisy. 

BoJack repeats Gina’s comment that the stripper scene where he as Philbert is sitting there drawing the girls is “gratuitous and male-gazey” and Flip cuts it in a totally not man baby “I’m always right” move. Instead, Flip has BoJack paint Gina naked instead. 

That didn’t exactly work out as planned.

At the Italian place, Todd’s old girlfriend, Emily, introduces her new firefighter boyfriend, Steve D’Mazio. As opposed to her old firefighter boyfriend, Steve D’Marco. Emily made an app specifically for firefighters to meet her.

I cannot throw a rock without hitting a Steve D’Mazio here. I went to high school with a bunch of Steve D’Mazios. 

Todd suggests making an app for asexual dating. Then explains to a confused Steve that not all asexuals are aromantic. Thus begins a convoluted explanation that very much confuses poor muscly Steve. His muscular everything else are bigger than his head. 

At the Philbert set, which of course looks just like BoJack’s house, BoJack begs Flip not to take out his aggression on Gina. He swears he isn’t, we know he is a lying douchebag, and Gina mumbles something about going to crafty to get potatoes.

She’ll need all that starch to get through those unnecessary nude scenes.

Todd and Yolanda revisit their conversation about how he’s a do-nothing slouch, so he decides to get a job. BoJack is there, all ready to confront PC. He has a spinny chair and everything, all Dr. Evil.

But it’s only Todd who wants a job. They find a listing for a janitorial position at WhatTimeIsItNow.com, the same media outlet that produces Philbert. BoJack has an Aha! moment.

He suggests Todd apply for the position and leave an anonymous note to Flip threatening to stop all nude scenes OR ELSE!

Of course Todd, who has the best luck ever, is way too overqualified to be a janitor and immediately becomes President of Streaming Content.

He will not abuse his AUTHORITAH by ordering Flip around, no sir. 

Fed up, our intrepid equine hero approaches Flip himself. He won’t do the nude scene. Flip snivels that he is his god now and BoJack will do what he says because he signed a contract (not really) so if Flip wants him to learn Korean, he will learn Korean. If Flip wants him to walk around with shit in his pants, he will have shit in his pants. Or he’ll sue his ass. 

Ew. Mark Schwahn, is that you?

If you have not read about One Tree Hill and The Royals EP Mark Schwahn, do yourself a favor and google that shit, he’s a menace. 

While PC’s at the adoption agency with Lackadaisical Tracy, she gets a call from Flip Flipping out--

(see what I did there?)

--about how he “played his hand” with BoJack and BoJack shows up drunk as a skunk. PC goes outside to meet him and gives him the Hollywoo Agent peptalk. Pull up your Big Horse pants and honor your commitments, even if you don’t like the character. PC’s gots shit to do.

So, BoJack trudges back to the set, disrobes, and changes that lightbulb, bruh.

At the airport, Mr. Peanutbutter, holding a sign that says BLARN, picks up Diane with a new haircut. She has just returned from a recent trip. They seem friendly but distant...and then he drops her off here.

Yeahhhh, remember how they were having troubles last season? They’re getting a divorce. 

At Philbert HQ, BoJack finishes his nekkid scene, then goes to crafty nekkid to eat some Cadbury eggs nekkid to much applause. Later at his house, Flip apologizes to BoJack for trying to forcefully remove his robe for the scene, but of course does not apologize to Gina, then cackles that women might stop complaining about being nekkid on camera now that a dude did it. 

Flip is the worst.

The episode closes as it begun, with the fish ladies doing their water ballet in the pool.

I have to wonder. Do people eat meat in the BoJackverse? Probably not, right? 

[buttercreamscenes]

It’s kinda sad how none of the sidemen are dating/have dated a woman of color or a curvier/plus size woman. Instead, they’ll date the same brand of white girl and it shows how much they hate plus size and woman of color :/

Okay, I feel like I get asks similar to this quite a lot and honestly...I'm kind of over it.

I totally see your point, don't get me wrong. Seeing diversity is NEVER a bad thing and is definitely lacking. However, I think it's really uncalled for to say they hate plus size women and women of colour. That's really just over the top and completely unnecessary. I'm sure seeing one of the boys with a different body style would be uplifting for other women and whatnot but I don't think it's fair to be making judgements on them because they're dating "the same brand of white girl". People click with people on different levels other than their looks. Sure, looks get you interested in someone but their personalities are what make you want to stay. How do you know the boys haven't spoken to or dated (by this I mean, gone on dates) with women of colour or plus size women? You're basing it on the one relationship they've chosen to share with the public because it has actually worked out. We don't know what they've done before dating the person they're with now. I'm sorry but the way you've phrased this just isn't right. I see what you mean, as seeing the boys with women who look different to each other is very rare and it would be nice to see them with diversity within the group but to flat out say they hate plus size women and women of colour is too much.

It also really bothers me because guys always get this criticism but I find it rare that women do. Like for instance, Taylor Swift. We've only ever seen her with skinny white males but no one seems to take offence to that? Obviously guys aren't making such a big deal about it but again, where's the diversity within Taylor Swift's dating pool?

I think we need to stop claiming the boys hate a certain body shape or skin colour because they've only been with a certain style. I get it and I see your point but I just really hate when people say "oh you must hate people of colour because you've only dated this colour". I just think we need to keep in mind that they could have been with someone of colour or someone with a different body shape and it just didn't work out (so they've never spoken about it because why would they?) while the relationship with "the same brand of white girl" just so happened to work out.

I don't know. I'm probably going to get hit with a shit ton of messages from this and at this point, that's fine. I just want to again say, I see your point and I totally understand. I'm not saying that the boys only have to date skinny white girls but I am saying it's wrong to make such a strong and intense statement as the one you just did.

I'm also not trying to attack you in any way, shape or form but I have received multiple messages like this, some I've posted and others I haven't, and it just really annoys me when people make such strong assumptions about people such as that one.

[whatmoredoyouwant]

I was tagged by @laufire (okay like, not really, but it said whoever wants to do it! lol)

Rules: choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag some friends

Fandoms:

The 100

Grey’s Anatomy

Lost

The First Character You Loved:

Oh wow. Hard one. Hmm...it’s especially hard cause I just rewatched the whole show, so my “first impressions” are a little skewed. I don’t know if it’s more Octavia Blake or Clarke Griffin tbh. I’m like horribly in love with Eliza Taylor, so that’s a big factor, but Octavia’s character is so dynamic and fun. I loved her from that first, “We’re back, bitches!”

This is even harder because the characters have changed so much! I think it would have to be Cristina Yang, even though she’s not in the show anymore. I miss her so much!

100% without a doubt, Charlie Pace. When I watched the show when I was younger, when it was still on TV, I bawled my friggin’ eyes out every near-death and then his eventual death. It’s funny because now I don’t like him nearly as much.

The Character You Never Expected To Love So Much:

Just based on how she was first introduced, Lexa kom Trikru. We get introduced to this badass warrior Commander, twirling a knife and ordering the deaths of Skaikru for burning her warriors, and she turns out to be the biggest gay softie in the world.

A L E X K A R E V. Holy shit, dude. If you told me that Alex Karev would be one of my favourite characters of all time during the first few seasons, I would have laughed. He’s such an asshole, he doesn’t care about anyone, he’s all about machismo and sleeping with the ladies. And then all of a sudden he does this 180 and the whole macho tough guy is just an act, and he’s just this SWEET SOFT TEDDY BEAR UNDERNEATH.

It’s actually crazy how much of a Sun-Hwa Kwon stan I became after rewatching. She’s just such a fucking badass??? Like, nothing gets her down. And the people that disagree with me that Sun is a Slytherin are just WRONG. Like, the woman learns an entirely different language to get away from her murderous, tyrannical father and arguably abusive husband, and plans to just disappear off into a different country. And then, in the flash forwards, she BUYS OUT HER FATHER’S COMPANY? Slytherin. SUCH a Slytherin.

The Character You Relate To The Most:

Hmm...it’s hard to relate to characters in a post-apocalyptic setting, to be honest, cause I just don’t deal with their issues lol. I feel like I would have to say Clarke Griffin, if only for the fact that she’s a headstrong, stubborn bisexual who tries her best to do the right thing, even if sometimes she’s wrong. That’s the closest similarity I can draw from the characters.

Hands down, Cristina Yang. The commitment issues, the aversion to having a baby, the total 100% dedication and obsession with her job and working? Oh, please, I AM Cristina Yang.

Let’s see, Kate’s a runaway, Claire’s pregnant, Shannon’s a rich kid, Sun is too, I don’t know that I can necessarily relate to any of the women. And the men, like, not at all. Everyone seems to have daddy issues and I don’t have those lol. I have “mommy issues.” Does anyone have mom issues? Ooh ooh! Ana Lucia Cortez! Totally had mom issues. Again, that’s really the closest similarity that I can draw from these characters.

The Character You’d Slap:

Ooh man, so many. Thelonious Jaha, for starters. Like, why are you even here anymore? All you do is cause chaos. They should have locked him out of the bunker.

I don’t know that I’d necessarily slap him, but I really don’t like Richard Webber. He has such anger issues and I feel like he just causes unnecessary tension and drama all the time. And his and Catherine Avery’s relationship is so tumultuous and at times, borderline toxic, I’m just sick of seeing the two of them.

Haha, I feel like my first instinct is James Ford aka Sawyer, just because he’s an ass most of the time, but I love him too much. So I’m saying John Locke, because holy shit, dude, can you cause any more trouble?? Just like I said with Jaha, ALL YOU CAUSE IS CHAOS.

Three Favourite Characters (In Order Of Preference):

Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin, and John Murphy.

Cristina Yang, Stephanie Edwards, and April Kepner

Desmond Hume, Juliet Burke, and Sun-Hwa Kwon

A Character You Liked At First But Don’t Anymore:

Jasper Jordan. This show did you so dirty, my poor child. They should have made him go up in the rocket into space with the rest of them. Can you imagine, crazy alcoholic Jasper Jordan, basically being forced into rehab and made to face his demons? Anyway, yeah, he just went a little too crazy for me, and then he just became a nuisance.

I can’t really think of a character that I liked but don’t anymore. If I had to pick someone, maybe Izzy Stevens? I think she got kind of selfish after living through her cancer death, and then she treated Alex really horribly. I was really happy when he told her he deserved more. But like, it’s honestly me nitpicking a character. I certainly don’t hate Izzy, not even close, I just have to pick SOMEONE.

I already mentioned her, but Ana Lucia Cortez was my first girl crush. When I was young, when the show first came out, I was nine years old and didn’t have any idea I was bisexual. I was IN LOVE with Ana Lucia, I was so upset when she died. Years later, when I rewatched it, it dawned on me just how much I hated her character, and I was like, “Why was she my favourite??” And my gay ass was like, “Ohhhh, it’s cause she’s hot as fuck. Got it.”

A Character You Did Not Like At First But Now Do:

They kind of already asked this? But well, I guess it’s a little bit different. For this one, I’ll say John Murphy. He was SUCH an ass, and I mean, he still is, but now he’s a little more human. And even when you watch him being an ass in the first season, you kind of understand it a little bit more now. Certain things can’t be excused, obviously, but at least they’re better explained.

Ooh, wait, another good one! I couldn’t STAND Arizona Robbins when she was introduced. My boss at the time, Ricky, I was talking to him when I first started watching it (when we were in season 12 I think) and he kept asking me to tell him when I’d met Arizona. And when I finally did, I didn’t get it at all. I was like, “Why do you like her? She’s awful??” And now I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

Benjamin Linus. God, I HATED him when I first watched the show, because obviously, he was the “big bad guy.” Now...well, he’s still a bad guy, but I appreciate his character so much more. Especially in the last few episodes! He really redeems himself.

Three OTPs: (I decided to read this as 3 OTPs for each fandom because I can) (I’m following suit, 3 OTPS per show!)

Oh man. Don’t even get me staaaaarted. Linctavia will forever be like, my most painful OTP. Followed of course, by Clexa. The third one is hard though? Honestly, I just wanted to ship Roan with someone, just cause I found him so effing hot. Any time he was on screen with someone, anyone at all, I went, “I ship it.” But realistically, like a real ship, I guess I would say Memori. Even though Emori is hard for me to like. I’m hoping she’ll be more likeable in season 5.

This is so painful. Mark Sloan/Lexie Grey, again, my most painful OTP and oh GOD, I miss them so much. Alex Karev/Meredith Grey, don’t JUDGE ME OKAY? And again, the last one is hard. I think it’s a tie between Calzona and Japril. Calzona really fell apart, and fell apart hard, whereas Japril is still kind of being hinted at? (Even though this awful Maggie/Jackson thing is being pushed now, I can’t staaaand this.) 

I was a total Sawyer/Kate shipper as opposed to Jack/Kate, and I stand by that. But on that note, Sawyer/Juliet is my I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP ship. THEY BELONGED TOGETHER. When I was younger, I shipped the hell out of Claire and Charlie but now I kind of hate them together. And now I ship the hell out of Desmond/Charlie lol. Oh, and of course Desmond and Penny, but still, the Desmond/Charlie ship has sailed and I am the captain.

I don’t think I really have any friends on this site who would actually do this if I tagged them...so I’m just gonna say anyone who wants to do it should, just tag @sassybrowsreyes in your post!

[mermaidsirennikita]

December 2017 Book Roundup

I’m posting this late because my laptop was broken and I didn’t want to post it from the app.  Also, I’m too anal retentive to NOT post it.

The Wolf Trial by Neil MacKay.  3/5.  An old historian recounts his tale of his time as the apprentice to Paulus, a lawyer.  In the 1500s, Paulus visits the town of Bideberg in rural Germany, with his assistant Willy by his side.  They’re tasked with the job of defending Peter Stumpf, a man accused of being a werewolf and killing dozens of people.  Stumpf i s a murderer--but if he’s convicted of being a werewolf, his innocent wife and children will be killed as well.  This isn’t just a historical fiction novel, though it’s based on true events; it’s a horror novel, and should be approached with caution.  It’s incredibly graphic and difficult to read.  I can’t say that I enjoyed the book for these reasons, but it had an important point to make and was well-written.  If you do decide to read it, be prepared to ask yourself some tough questions.

Maybe In Another Life by Taylor Jenkins Reid.  1/5.  29-year-old Hannah has lived a fairly meaningless life, jumping from place to place and never feeling fulfilled.  Fresh off an affair with a married man, she moves back home to stay with her best friend.  Her first night back, she goes to a bar, and is prompted with a choice: leave her best friend Gabby, or her high school boyfriend Ethan?  The book follows to parallel paths, each one depending on the choice Hannah made.  The thing is that I was going to give this an extra star for concept, but... nope, not worth it.  This read like two half-baked stories, with neither one being interesting or featuring a well-developed conflict.  The characters are annoying and one-dimensional, the romances are boring, and everything turns out exactly as you would expect. Which isn’t unexpected in a romance novel, but again, the love stories aren’t good so they don’t make up for predictability as they would in a good romance novel.  UGH.  The worst thing is that Taylor Jenkins Reid can write a good book; she wrote The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo.  But everything else I’ve read by her is boring and mediocre.

Notorious Royal Marriages by Leslie Carroll.  3/5.  This is one of those gossipy, vaguely trashy books about historical scandals that isn’t 100% accurate but it is immensely entertaining.  I knew a good bit about most of the marriages covered in this book, but a few were on the newer side.  One thing I liked about this book is that while Carroll’s tone is chatty, it’s not full of too much slang.  For that matter, I think she gave a pretty fair read on most of her subjects--I especially appreciated her write up of the marriage of Nicholas II and Alexandra.  So often, people become caught up with the--slanderous--idea that Alexandra slept with Rasputin.  Carroll is much more even-handed. 

Royal Romances by Leslie Carroll.  3/5.  Basically: see above, less married people.  I really do appreciate how even-handed and fair this author is, compared to other people who write “gossip history”.  Her treatment of the relationship of Marie Antoinette and Axel von Fersen was especially good.  She did repeat a lot, however, and I feel like her rundown of an individual monarch or consort’s life before getting into his or her romance was a bit unnecessary.

Do Not Disturb by A.R. Torre.  4/5.  The sequel to “The Girl in 6E” returns to Deanna, camgirl-slash-homicidal-maniac who’s attempting to resist her murderous urges.  Deanna is beginning a relationship with Jeremy, and at the same time doing her work and trying to begin something of a normal life.  But is she even sane enough to do so?  Further complicating matters is an obsessive fan who wants to make Deanna his “reward” for getting out of prison--after raping and brutally beating a woman.  These books are incredibly readable and addictive.  They’re racy, the romance is a bit cheesy--but also sweet and kind of tragic, to be honest--but it’s all tempered by Deanna’s struggle, which is disturbing... and kind of awesome when she’s venting her urges on horrible men.  Very much recommended if you’re looking for erotica with a touch of misandry.

If You Dare by A.R. Torre.  4/5.  Without giving too much away, this is the last (for now) Deanna Madden book.  It sees Deanna and Jeremy’s relationship erode as a result of her homicidal tendencies, setting up a mystery that’s more insular, and in a strange way more disturbing, than those in the previous books.  It’s intriguing--it just doesn’t seem like an ending quite yet, so I really hope it isn’t.  I’ll give Torre this, though--she doesn’t hesitate to take risks.

Legacy by Susan Kay.  4/5.  A sort of classic of historical fiction, this book takes on Elizabeth I’s life, from her infancy to death.  It focuses in particular on the queen’s emotional struggles--her inability to come to terms with her mother’s death and her father’s cruelty, her complicated relationship with Robert Dudley, and her attempts to reconcile duty, desire, and her many fears.  I read this yeeeears ago, but had basically forgotten all of it, so it was basically a new read for me.  It’s incredibly readable and difficult to put down--because while Kay largely sticks to history with some exceptions, she isn’t married to it.  She isn’t dry in her descriptions, doesn’t linger long over what she’s obviously not that interested in (dry politics, war).  She focuses on Elizabeth’s mental health and relationships, her contradictions.  She takes her from being a distant historical figure to an incredibly flawed, sometimes cruel protagonist.  At times the writing style is a bit dated, especially when it comes to some of the darker aspects of Dudley and Elizabeth’s relationship, which is why I took a star off.  (Like... Kay...)  But overall it’s a very good book, if a little over the top at times, that I’d recommend.

The Rules Do Not Apply by Ariel Levy.  4/5.  At thirty-eight, Ariel Levy is a writer for the New Yorker, married, and expecting her first child.  A month later she’s lost her wife and her baby.  Her memoir is incredibly well-written and gripping--it’s also short, and I read it in one sitting.  I can see how it wouldn’t work for everyone, but I related to Ariel’s need for adventure, I envied her job and her ability to go to far-off countries and explore.  And I was gripped with horror as she described her ordeal.  Of course, the memoir is about more than just Levy’s loss of a child; she also describes her childhood, her wife’s alcoholism, and her own infidelity, among other things.  It’s a very human story told with a beautiful flourish, and it really made me think.

Three Sides of a Heart by Natalie C. Parker et. al.  2/5.  This YA anthology uses a variety of different subgenres to tackle a trope that lots of people hate: the love triangle.  Unfortunately, for the most part it’s boring.  Some of the love triangles are cliche, some are just sort of try-hard-ish.  Some aren’t triangles at all--and I don’t mind triangles when done well.  There are three stories that are very good: “The Historian, The Garrison, and the Cantankerous Catwoman” by Lamar Giles (a dark take on a Batman figure, a female Alfred, and obviously, Catwoman), “Before She Was Bloody” by Tessa Gratton (a fantasy story about a girl dedicated to be the sexual servant of her people’s god, and the boy and girl she loves), and “Unus, Duo, Tres” by Bethan Hagen (polyamorous vampires and sadness).  But that’s about it.

[falkenscreen]

Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls is better than everything else that’s out now, so let’s talk about it.

The show, still deservedly a favourite among very many, has a conspicuous and especial place in the lives of many a Gilly, this author no less. Having watched the now classic (non-sequentially) following its release, when I was just a few years shy of Rory, I returned to it in 2019 to watch it the whole way through, now a few years shy of Lorelai.

The difference in perspective, and all that which still resonates to boot, is astounding.

Somehow the ending wasn’t ruined for me, nor A Year in the Life which we’ll get to later. I’m far from the first guy to write about or fall madly in love with Gilmore Girls and if you’re not listening to Kevin T. Porter’s and Demi Adejuyigbe’s Gilmore Guys then you’re really missing out. Take these as the reflections of a most ardent fan who came to the show relatively afresh, did a Luke, went all in and found something that still sets a standard in scripting, character-building and female-driven storytelling, for which we are sorely lacking and still so grateful to Amy.  

Spoilers herein for Gilmore Girls and A Year in the Life and, just so it’s out of the way; Jess, obviously. Dean quickly became a one-note boyfriend (who cheats), Logan (yes he did grow as a person) never near actively enough supported Rory in furthering her aspirations unlike others around her and Jess was the only partner who both held a candle to her intellectually and didn’t let Rory coast on her least forgiving qualities. I’m not counting Marty.

First thing’s first – story and plot. More often forgotten than not, they’re two different things. Gilmore Girls, as it was hurriedly pitch in a last ditch attempt to sell a show to the network, is about a mother and daughter who are more like best friends. Whenever it’s just the pair interacting the show was at its far and above best and never got tiring, not once, and was never as strong when Yale split them up or the revival, atypically and so consequentially, chose to see Rory and Lorelai apart for whole stretches.

Exceptionally cast, as good as Alexis Bledel was its Lauren Graham who ultimately drove the show and she never gets near enough credit for her nuanced portrayal of one of the most complex characters in modern television. Just look at the wordless despair, affection and resolve that passes across her eyes in the seconds before she steels herself for the proposal and season 5 cliff-hanger. Ask yourself how many performers can achieve such a range of emotion without dialogue in so few beats; there are few.

Significantly, mother and daughter besties are actually not what the show is about. What’s really going on is the tragedy of intergenerational disharmony as the mother who rejected her wealthy upbringing for a more regular life sees her daughter in turn rebel against her for the elite world she abandoned. With story and plot elements as strong as this, there was much to work with.

The spectre of a 16 year old Lorelai with a little bundle rocking up on the porch of the Independence Inn pleading for any job hangs over the show’s entire run. There’s been a fair few critiques over the years that Gilmore Girls is elitist or insular for its focus on small-town Connecticut which for many who haven’t been there can appear like a privileged haven.

Gilmore Girls is more accurately about a young woman and mother who didn’t get the support she needed from her family and set out to make a life where she wasn’t reliant on anyone but herself. The show, thankfully absent hackneyed flashbacks to supplement a narrative which didn’t need padding out, did however proffer us one glimpse into Lorelai’s early years establishing that Richard, amidst a great disdain for what was then very scandalous, insisted Lorelai marry the useless Christopher.

Anyone who thinks Lorelai’s circumstance or Rory’s for that matter reflects a privileged position needs to check it and on the matter of Connecticut there are many families who arrived there far from being a Richard or Emily, this author’s included; it being as diverse a place as the show’s myriad of characters suggests.

Now to Rory. Many (most) viewers were disappointed in the arc she undertakes and continues well into A Year in the Life. Yes it’s frustrating when you see characters you love take paths you’d rather they didn’t (those hoping for a happier end to Jaime’s story can relate) but her simply being on this trajectory as disappointing as it is isn’t a fair criticism of the show in and of itself and is one it has been unreasonably burdened with. For those who hate to see elitist Rory, it bears acknowledging the subtle parallel the series draws with Lorelai’s own (if more widely relatable) snobbery; think just how many times she judged or forewarned of someone simply for their being rich.

Those who were sad to not see Rory (or Lorelai) grow in key respects at least until the very end of season 7 point to this as a flaw in the series. This mistakes however the important distinction, one drawn as rarely as between story and plot, as regards character building and character growth. For the volumes we come to learn about Rory and Lorelai they conversely (and uncommonly for a character-driven series and moreover one of this length) don’t grow very much. We may not like it but hey, it’s a fact of life and often people don’t change, sometimes even after 10 years. It’s an unusual, dramatically refreshing theme befitting a drama and yes, Gilmore Girls is a drama. Like The West Wing given the volume of dialogue and hilarity it remains funnier than most comedies yet is still at the core a coming of age drama.

It is a nominally rare thing to see sustained character growth in this most distinct of series, later rendering Emily’s arc in the four most recent instalments all the more resonant. When Lorelai cautions Lane in season seven (the only era of the show when overwrought story beats infamously overtook character-driven drama) that she had best prepare for a circumstance where Lane’s children embrace the religiosity Lane rejected, it could fairly be highlighted as an unnecessary meta intrusion or an annoying ‘state the moral’ moment. It is however one of the only occasions emblematic of explicit character growth, coinciding as it happens with Rory having to contend with her most consequential instance of professional rejection. For being distinctive it resonated all the stronger in a series that would rather grow its characters and their world than the characters themselves; in modern terms a relatively novel and here welcomely idiosyncratic approach to storytelling emphasising bittersweet and very relatable aspects of our lives and interpersonal relationships.

The realm of Star’s Hollow being invested with a great deal more personality than most fictional settings, Lorelai and Rory’s narratives notably ground to a halt in Summer to see a musical tableaux of the town. If admittedly outstaying the welcome, it was a nice opportunity to say a farewell to the only significant character herein which didn’t get any dialogue. An affectionate ode throughout to small town life, it was well to remind us that every stop on the highway has a Taylor and Kirk, though rarely ones so lively and repeatedly entertaining; even if Kirk towards the end did go over the top.

Who never went over the top was Melissa McCarthy; it being a special pleasure to see her in pre-mega fame mode sharing her best moments alongside Yanic Truesdale, as well as a few hints at the more exaggerated roles she would later take on in some of Sookie’s most strident moments. The pop culture references were too a joy for any junkie; with the show (take note modern cinema) graciously never skipping whole beats to let one-liners or hark backs sink in, instead trusting that we’d get it or appreciate the resonance nonetheless.

This was conversely one of the flaws of A Year in the Life; but for allusions to Game of Thrones and a couple of other tidbits there wasn’t much acknowledgement in the scripting choices that this world had aged at all. There still being the ‘no cell phones’ sign in Luke’s after all these years, as fond a recall as it is, was just too much a stretch; on par with the infamous Game of Thrones-esque (yes Gilmore Girls did it first) roll credits moment when Rory delivers her manuscript.

For all its flaws and clustered cameos the addendums did however bring back Jason Stiles for a dignified farewell. A character very short-changed by his series’ conclusion (and lack thereof), when written out there was never a sense of closure like that proffered his contemporaries which fans indeed got ten years later.

And this brings us to the much touted ‘last four words.’ “Mum,” “Yes,” “I’m pregnant.”

It’s both a lacklustre and exceptional end in respects. Sure it would have had more of the intended resonance those ten years ago when Rory, mirroring Lorelai’s earlier experience, found herself at a stage of her life still yet to realise many of her goals that a newborn child would then and here implicitly affect. It still bears its impact but like much of A Year in the Life’s recurrent storytelling and character motifs it doesn’t resonate as desired and as it would have that era ago within a world and set of people who have now inevitably aged.

The theme and consequences of unplanned pregnancies has also already been widely explored in the series between the experiences of Lorelai, Christopher, Lane and, most unnecessarily, Luke. It’s far from improbable that any one or all of these figures, including Rory, would experience an unplanned pregnancy, yet when it came to introducing April the familiar story beats had already been well played out, as distinct from the more intimate and procedural arc with which Lane’s pregnancy is treated.

Rory’s announcement does however reflect the core theme of the series in children and parents, despite intentions and efforts made, replicating their forebear’s cycles. Despite it being foreshadowed that Logan is the father, he being evidently modelled on Christopher, here the show does not go for a bittersweet note but a heartfelt, cautionary one. As the series repeatedly reminds us, it’s far from unfortunate that children have similar experiences to their parents, or indeed that families continue to procreate. It’s just that, as when Rory dropped out of Yale, whatever happens in children’s lives may or very likely will still happen in spite of anything and everything a parent may want or try, and we’re all just along for the ride.

A Year in the Life’s highs and lows notwithstanding, it was well worth the hours to spend that much more time with our girls and loved ones (the most hilarious Paris’ return was probably the highlight) as it was over so many months and years. If you’re craving the qualities and depth that so much modern storytelling is so lacking, look no further.

Gilmore Girls is now streaming on Netflix

[loveaningenue]

Taylor Swift’s 2005-2006 MySpace Comments

Taylor’s alleged MySpace comments in a chronological order from 2005 to 2006. (Time of posts on 24h). Pictures of the comments were too blurry, so I didn’t add, but if needed, I have them saved in a file if anyone needs proof. 

NB: All the comments are replies to unknown posts by her friends, so the context is unknown. 

Sep 3, 2005 13:08

I am obsessed with you.

If you look out your window and down the street about 200 yards, you may see a big white van parked on the street. I am inside the van with a telescope and computer. Just trying to catch a glimpse of kelsey dammmnnn morris.

haha. end of story.

Sep 5, 2005 1:37

AWWWW brittany I miss you so much. And yes, I can verify that you do know every word to that song. I love you for it. :-) . Prom was incredible and thankyou so much for everything you’re ever done in the past to make me feel welcome into that whole group. You have always been so nice to me. Thankyou for everything. You may not have noticed but it really meant a lot to me. 

Sep 6, 2005 3:26

LACEY LACEY LACEY

I’m in love with you.

There’s no other way around it.

hehe

Sep 10, 2005 2:01

Pretty girl.

I could away twenty and knock on your door and ask you how you’ve been...

But I think I’ll just sit here and type it. Tell me how you’ve been, child. taylor

Sep 11, 2005 21:09

I have the same name as your boyfriend.

Therefore I am better than everyone and you should like me more.

taylor

Sep 14, 2005 20:43

HOMECOMINGQUEENHOMECOMINGQUEENHOMECOMINGQUEENHOMECOMINGQUEEN

{haha i love you and your pretty crown}

taylor

Sep 18, 2005 11:56

Kelsey’s awesome. And got best smile. And should have gotten everything else. Hahah iloveyou

Sep 17, 2005 11:30

uhhh..

“I shot some guy with a flare gun” -sahara

best line ever.

Sep 21, 2005 23:26

WE NEED ONE MORE SCANTRON

Sep 30, 2005 17:06

I have one word for you.

Chorttle.

{bitch}

Oct 11, 2005 23:13

Everybody watch Kelsey’s scrolling pictures of her friends until you get the one of shelby.

Her boobs look AMAZING.

hahahahahahaha

Oct 18, 2006 16:36

RELINQUISH THIS TOME FOOLERY YOU ELFISH KNAVE.

- a prime example of the shit we OUGHT to learn in English class.

Oct 31 2005 8:12

i read your complaining comment about how your not abigails tip 8. well, how could you be? I’M THERE. TAKING YOUR SPOT HAHAhAHAHA. (evil laugh, you know the drill). Well, anyway, listen my queer fellow. I thinketh we shall hangeth out sometime soon, eh? yes, i do believe i am growing fond of this idea. drive over in your sex van and come pick me up. farewell knave. -T-

Nov 6, 2005 0:03

If you were a guy I’d probably date you.

Just a friendly reminder

<3

Nov 26, 2005 17:54

My darling.

18 days till I get my license and  I think we’ll gave to go out in the hummer and shoot people we hate with a paintball gun out the passenger side window.

Abigail and I have been planning this for a while.

You should totally come.

We hear you have good aim.

lovelovelove -T-

Nov 26, 2005 21:50

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

{i like your headline}

and yes, I do.

lovelovelove -T-

Dec 4, 2005 22:07

Here’s a little limerick for you to solve while I waste my life away on the couch with a godforsaken migraine that is threatening my life eating ice cream out of the gallon container watching war of worlds wondering why I was fat as a 10-year-old and not cute like dakota fanning and thinking, “hey, this wouldn’t’t be so bad, everything getting blown to shit and half the world dying.. Life pretty much sucks anyway.”

I don’t want what I can get.

I fuck up what i had so i shouldn’t want it

I want what doesn’t want me Therefore I can’t get it Therefore I can’t be happy Therefore I sit in class writing notes t my equally psychotic redheaded best friend about how to achieve ultimate happiness when honestly we’re just dreamers because no one is ever permanently happy.

I have blonde hair and my name rhymes with sailor.

What am I?

Oh, fuck. It’s me.

Have an equally joyous night fa la la i love christmas

-T-

Dec 16, 2005 2:59

I’m Grant Motherfucking Wood.

I do what I want

and say the word “durr”.

iloveyoubutnotsomuchgrantwood hehehe -T-

Dec 21, 2005 0:17

I’m in England and this whole country is weird.

They’re all weird. Except for me. Who, as you know, is completely normal. 

Hey man we need to hang out when I get back. How about we combine me, my car, grant wood’s house, shelby, ally, some boys, lily and perhaps whitley, some drinks because you might get thirsty, and new year’s eve.

yeeeaahhhhhh

-T-

Dec 28, 2005 14:57

Just a little reminder to you that, even though the semester may be over..

I’m still quite obsessed with you.

haha fuck sewing machines.

lovelovelove -T-

Dec 28, 2005 

WOW I LOVE YOUR PICTURES

( i haven’t been on here in a while and technology alone fascinates me)

Hey I love you and now I know exactly where your house is, and also that Grant Wood plays guitar? Yes, he does. 

Why?

Because he’s Grant Motherfucking Wood, That’s why.

We’re hanging out New Years and I’m driving the Hummer and it will be amazing.

-T-

PS: Hi, Kelsey’s mom!

Dec 29, 2005 2:44

Lil’ Kels.

hahahhaha

I looove love love your new pictures. You are pretty, 

You’re right.. you better watch out.

Because I do what I want.

-T-

Jan 4, 2006 22:37

IM ONE OF KELSEYS BEST FRIENDS HA HA HA HA HA HA.

I’m sorry. Now that I said that I’m probably going to get kicked off the list for disorderly conduct or just simply being a loser in a public place such as the internet. 

But just to let you know. That’s pretty freakin awesome. lovelovelove -T-

Jan 8, 2006 8:53

My name is Taylor. I am not clingy. I do not want a boyfriend.

I do not show signs of wanting a boyfriend.

I do not make hints leading on to the fact that I may want a boyfriend.

So how, tell me, on EARTH is it possible for someone confuse this issue and IGNORE me because they don’t want a girlfriend.

(%(* ..)%([IOJENTI..OWI$...]WO -T-

Jan 10, 2006 0:30

Umm how about DONT listen to addie.

That’s like the most amusing picture I’ve ever seen.

Take it down?

I think not.

Jan 18, 2006 0:14

JORDAN YOU IDIOT.

The term is quite obviously FEM-bots.

Not THEM-bots..

I don’t know what goes in your clouded mind sometimes..

maybe I’m just too sexy and it distracts you. mmm i think i am correct. -T-

Jan 18, 2006 0:16

Oh P.S.

Boys with your name are not exactly as great as you.

I have had much experience with them lately.

hahaha and their girlfriends get mad ;-)

Feb 4, 2006 21:01

THAT PICTURE OF ME UP AT THE TOP IS GROSS.

THAT IS SICK TAKE IT DOWN.

It serves NO purpose other than to make me look FUGLY.

I want it off NOW.

but i loove you

Feb 5, 2006 8:14

Guess who as a thing for you.

The hottest guy in the world.

Whats the mixture of a tiger and a lion?

A WHORE.

think about it.

Feb 28, 2006 5:30

“I definitely just deep-throated the lollipop.”

Hey little girl.. do you want to know a seeker-ett?

hahaha thanks for helping me with my computer troubles. I know you bend many way for me. i like dat.

Mar 21, 2006 7:54

“Kelsey y dont u just LEAVE US ALONE.

WE R TRYIN 2B HAPPY. OMGGGGGG.”

hahahah. See, I had to write the original message with punctuations and vowels-- but I had to translate into the way SHE would write it.

But she’s not immature. She’s just not fond of correct spelling.

i love you -T-

Apr 5, 2006 7:51

LoL i KnOw!!

ExcLamAtiOn PoIntS aRe THIRD GrAdErS !! !! !!

(also notice this super cool signature I’m going to add in to the ending of this comment)

::sWiFt::

hahahah

Apr 22, 2006 18:39

PUT UP PROM PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!

And as soon as I get my laptop back, I’ll be leaving you a certain picture that I think you’ll like.

Because a certain girl might see it. lovelovelove -T-

Apr 23, 2006 14:19

(Picture)

(Picture)

(Picture)

(This is you quite obviously staring at my boobs)

Apr 24, 2006 17:56

Lyrics we live by:

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time I want what’s your and I want what’s mine

I want YOU, but I’m not giving  giving in this time.

haha i love you you’re really pretty. -T-

Apr 30, 2006 19:33

Kelsey.

I love you and I’m sorry about all the “distance”.

Distance = stupid and unnecessary.

Dude. The truth us, i miss you. Starbucks tomorrow? 

May 2, 2006 22:10

Yeah, I remember I have that photoshoot today and tomorrow. Well, its good to know I was missed. haha. Speaking of missed, I really wish you didn’t work so much because I wanted to hang out today.

lovelovelove -T-

Call me.

May 27, 2006 1:44

Dude.

The scrolling picture of your car is mad cool mannnnnn.

sweeeeet.

I stared at it for like an hour. hahaha

no really. the sad thing is, I did.

Jun 9, 2006 20:30

I CANT FIND MY PHONE.

errrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Kelsey. My lovely best friend. YOU CAME TO MY SHOWWWWWW! I didn’t know if you or ally actually came or not because I didn’t see you, thank you so much for coming. That means the world to me, you know that. I love you.

lovelovelove -T-

Jun 19, 2006 10:52

I MISS YOU AND I WANT TO SEE YOU.

I leave again tonight for north carolina but i wont be gone as long this time, and I want my best friendddd backkkkk.

I love you and ally.

lovelovelove

-T-

Jul 31, 2006 19:24

You know you’ve been away too long when your best friend doesn’t have any trace of you on her myspace anymore. Kelsey. I missss you.

I’m going over to Ally’s house tonight and if you’re not there I’m going to walk over to your house and abduct you. 

lovelovelove -T-

Here’s a LINK to the pictures of the alleged MySpace comments. 

BONUS:

[signify-nothing]

Ranking All 67 Movies I Watched in 2019 from The Bad to The Best

The Bad:

Adaptation. Let’s be honest. It’s rare to like any movie you’re assigned to watch. I was starting out from an obvious place of resentment (sorry Professor Taylor). With that being said, I think it’s safe to say this story is objectively awful and so, so, so masturbatory. It’s about a screenwriter struggling to write a script. Need I say more?

Ossos. Ok, so nobody watches a four hour long plotless Portuguese film for fun. But to say this was an exceptionally difficult film to watch would be an understatement. I was more aware of how sore my butt felt in the chair than anything else about the viewing.

The 400 Blows. Apparently it’s great and important? I don’t know. I just don’t really like classic French movies about children.

The Theory of Everything. This movie probably wasn’t that bad but I saw it on a layover on my way to Iceland to see a guy who I was going to break up with in a few weeks, and the movie reminded me of him because they’re both theoretical physicists. Need I say more?

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Didn’t really have the powerful nostalgia factor I was hoping for. Still, it gave us Lana Del Rey covering The Season of the Witch so that’s something.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople. Low-key decided to break up with my ex over this movie.

(500) Days of Summer. Didn’t age super well. Or well at all.

Shrek. I watched this for a very difficult traditional narrative class. Thus, bad memories are now attached.

Harry Potter. I really think if you haven’t watched this by the time you’re thirteen you should just leave it the fuck alone. Also led to a bit of a falling out with a friend. I’m coming to realize a lot of dramatic interpersonal things happened in my life this year surrounding films…

About Time. I watched this on the way home from Edinburgh which is among the saddest days of my life, so there’s that.

6 Years. I also watched this on the way home from Edinburgh.

Skyfall. Better than I thought it’d be. Nothing like watching this on a luxury bus on your way back from the Scottish highlands.

Fish Tank. Don’t really love this movie but it’s good in a pervy way I guess?

Wine Country. It’s not too bad if you’re totally drunk watching it. Which I may have been.

Truth or Dare. This was honestly pretty bad but I don’t remember hating it as I watched it as much as I did once it was over.

Going the Distance. Mediocre.

Tell it the Bees. Goddamn it I wanted this movie to be so much better than it was. Anna Paquin was just too dry to really fall in love with (God knows I wanted to).

The One I Love. Not super memorable. I may have been drunk though? Or just tired. Tbh I really have no recollection of this movie at all. I watched it while I was pretty depressed.

The Favourite. This was a weird fucking movie.

Calibre. Mediocre. But, at least it was Scottish.

Life of Brian. Didn’t age terribly well, but there’s nothing like watching it on Easter weekend.

La Strada. Not my favorite Fellini but ok.

The Girl on the Broomstick. Campy Czech movie from the 60s? It’s worth it on premise alone.

Midsommar. Definitely did not live up the hype.

The So-so:

Office Space. I related. Perhaps too much.

The Lighthouse. I’d certainly never seen anything like it before.

Circle. Idk, it really should’ve been shittier, but I like the premise of a bunch of people just standing around literally deciding who to kill next. It was bizarre and thought provoking.

The Seventh Seal. Classic, but less subtle than Bergman’s other works.

Wild Rose. Idk. I have conflicted feelings about this movie. I watched it in a theater in Edinburgh with the person I was seeing and remember walking back through the meadows as the Cherry blossoms bloomed. It was so lovely and the music was ok.

Knock Knock. God, I hate so much about this movie. Don’t ask why I kind of liked it.

The Perfection. If there wasn’t a weird sexual abuse plotline this would’ve been in my top ten.

The Wind. It was beautiful but too arcane for its own good.

Hustlers. Pretty girls and great music but it didn’t change my life.

Boy Erased. It was good.

A Taste of Honey. It wasn’t terrible for a random old English movie about an unmarried teenager?

Us. Just felt a little cluttered/messy compared to Get Out. It still made me terrified to live in a city with an underground system beneath it.

The Good:

Concussion. Honestly how could a movie about a stay at home lesbian wife deciding to become a prostitute for women not be amazing?

Lizzie. Not the best, but it’s Chloe and Kristen so of course it’s good.

Zombieland. This was a hell of a lot of fun to watch at the gym on the elliptical. That’s all.

Apostle. Spooky as fuck and very random.

Thelma and Louise. Classic lesbian cinema.

Over the Garden Wall. Nice nostalgic fall miniseries.

Captain Fantastic. I was happy when I watched this.

Carol. Everybody needs a Carol phase. Preferably one they can live-tweet to a good friend.

Nights of Cabiria. It’s a good one.

You Were Never Really Here. The last scene of this is so good. I still think about it.

Together. This film introduced me to my European Cinema class so it makes me nostalgic.

Blue. Can’t really remember this well but I think it was really good?

Cleo from 5 to 7. Always.

The To Do List. Was fun and relevant at the time.

Knocking Down the House. Inspiring.

Before Midnight. Depressing as fuck but I still loved it.

Beast. Johnny Flynn, man. Johnny Flynn.

Colette. Bisexual writer movie? Yes please. Particularly right after I read “How to Suppress Women’s Writing”.

Three Buildings Outside Ebbing Missouri. Really great, but obviously not written by an American.

Unicorn Store. Relevant as fuck. Loved it.

Wild Strawberries. Such good Bergman. I must’ve read three books on it for my final in my film course.

The Double Life of Veronique. Peak snobby foreign cinema and the first movie I watched this year, while I was in Paris.

Always Shine. Creepy and disturbing and feminist and lovely.

Submarine. Cleverer than I thought it would be.

Head Count. Fun horror.

Happy Death Day. More fun horror.

Cold War. Depressing but oh so good.

The Best:

First Reformed. Yikes. I loved it. Despite the unnecessary het romance. Not sure I’d ever recommend it to anyone ever but it just felt right to me somehow.

Before Sunset. Yes. Just, yes.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe. Favorite horror movie I watched this year by a lot.

Before Sunrise. I can’t even get into it without ranting for ten pages but it’s basically excellent so watch it now.

[dorothydelgadillo]

30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30 (About Life & Marketing)

As a marketer, I’m sure you’ve heard it at some point or another: people ages 18-34 are the “key demographic.”

They’re the movers-and-shakers. The ones in-the-know. The ones with money to spend. They’re the ones you want to know and love your brand, let alone buy from it.

Well, friends, today is my 30th birthday, my golden birthday, in fact...and, while my lovely brand teammates are going to roll their eyes and hate me for saying this, that means my remaining days of relevance are limited.

Marketing By Nature

Ok, yes, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but after three decades in this skin, I’ve learned that kind of drama is just a part of my brand.

via GIPHY

I’ve also learned many other unexpected lessons that have proven to be useful in both my personal life and my life as a marketer and content professional.

You see, I’ve only been in this industry professionally for about nine years, but, in that time, I’ve discovered many parallels between being a good marketer and, honestly, just being a good person.

In a nutshell, both come down to:

Being able to understand and communicate with other people well

Accepting your authentic self

If you can master these areas, you’ll likely not only be a happier person but a happier marketer -- but I’m getting ahead of myself.

I’ve spent the past four years of my work life (and frankly some pretty formidable years of my twenties) helping my teammates at IMPACT, contributors, and sponsors, learn how to better hone their voices and share their stories.

I’ve always encouraged them to share lessons big and small from their experiences, but I haven’t always had the chance to practice what I preach.

So, indulge me for a few minutes.

Taking a page out of Taylor Swift’s book (minus those chapters about Kanye and John Mayer), here are 30 lessons I learned about marketing and life before turning 30. Some of these may seem obvious or insignificant, but that doesn’t make them any less true or worth repeating.

1. Pretty Doesn’t Mean Perfect.

Whether you’re talking fashion or marketing creative, style does not top function. A design needs to always solve a problem and achieve the goal you set for it.

Just like an ugly hat can still keep your head warm, an ugly website or graphic can still deliver results. Just look at Craig’s List or Reddit. They may not be the most impressive or sophisticated designs, but no one can argue with their effectiveness.

2. Don’t Do It Just Because It’s Trendy.

This is another lesson about personal style I’ve learned over the years, but it rings undeniably true for marketers as well.

Just because something is popular doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

Every person and business is different circumstances, needs, and goals to consider. So, before you start a new strategy, tool, (or that pair of skinny jeans, for that matter), consider what you’re trying to achieve and your audience.

If the trend won’t move you towards achieving what you want (or make you look your best), skip it.

3. People Don’t Always Know What They Want.

Despite what they may think, people don’t always know what they truly want. They’ll claim one thing, then do another, and that’s no different when it comes to buying behavior.

Time and time again, we’ve surveyed people to ask them their preferences, only to see their behavior not echo it. There are so many unconscious things that motivate us as people, especially in the heat of a moment.

That being said, trust actions and user testing. Action speaks louder than words.

4. But You Still Need to Listen.

There are times to use hard data and cater to people’s unconscious behavior and there are times to take their word.

Simply put, don’t manipulate people.

In many instances, it’s better to give people what they know they want, so they know you are listening and care about what they think. People just want to be heard. Showing they were builds trust and, in turn, a better relationship.

That being said…

5. Don’t Take Trust for Granted.

Once you’ve earned someone’s trust, don’t abuse it. Without trust, no one will want to work, buy, or likely even be around you.

It’s that simple.

6. Nothing Lasts Forever.

This is something I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with as I lost some loved ones in recent years, but professionally, it’s just a fact.

IMPACT Partner, keynote speaker, author, and all-around amazing guy, Marcus Sheridan preaches that when it comes to content and marketing, the principles behind why we do things will never change, but the how (tools, practices, etc.) always will.

That being said, no content you create is likely ever truly evergreen. It will always need to be updated with new data, examples, etc to showcase how things are done right now. Same goes for your website.

7. Stand for Something.

Modern buyers gravitate towards brands that stand for a cause and share the same values and concerns they do. It helps guide their choices and makes them feel a little bit better about their purchase, knowing they supported a good cause.

Strong values and knowing what you believe obviously also guide you in your personal life. They can help you find the right job or friends and maybe even help them find you.

8. Diversity & Inclusion Are Strengths.

What do I stand for? More than anything, diversity, inclusion, and representation. In most areas of my life, I have always been a minority, an outlier even… but I’ve always tried to remember that this isn’t a bad thing.

Diversity and inclusion whether it is in gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, or otherwise, are always a good idea.

They bring more perspectives and ideas to the table and better enable you to reach a wider audience. They make people feel welcome.

Many may not want this (as I experience first hand) or even shy away from addressing it, but as marketers and human beings, our goal is to connect with other people. The best way to do that is by making them feel like they belong.

9. Loyalty Is Priceless.

Finding people who will stand by you or your brand through anything are rare. When you do, treasure them and treat them right.

10. It’s OK to Show Your Flaws.

We live in a society where everything and everyone is so airbrushed, finding things that aren’t is a breath of fresh air.

It’s a sign that you’re genuine and honest; that you’re not trying to trick anyone into believing something that isn’t true.

This transparency, again, builds trust and, frankly, makes you more human and likable. Don’t be afraid to show your real face to everyone you meet.

11. Always Admit When You’re Wrong.

In a similar vein to showing flaws, if you’re wrong or make a mistake, own it. Trying to hide a shortcoming will only make you look worse in the eyes of those around you.

12. Start With What You Have.

If the plastic bag of plastic bags in my work locker doesn’t tell you, I’m big on resourcefulness. Why waste money and time when you have something you can reuse?

The same can be said about content. Thinking about trying video or Pinterest? Don’t start from scratch. Take some of your best performing existing content and reimage it for the medium and audience.

13. Don’t Just Be a Yes (Wo)Man.

As William Wrigley Jr. once said, if two men agree, one of them is unnecessary.

In other words, differing opinions and points of view are important. Don’t be afraid to disagree if you have practical reasons to. Speak up!

14. Be Honest.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Lying or knowingly misspeaking about what you believe or want will never result in a good outcome long term.

15. Technology Isn’t Foolproof.

My entire job, like many of yours I’m sure, lies behind a computer screen. And while technology can make life significantly easier and more convenient, it isn’t foolproof.

When the internet is down, it’s like all the cages were left open at the zoo around here! Plan accordingly.

16. Meeting People In Person Still Matters.

Similarly, meeting people virtually is easier than ever thanks to technology, but it still can’t top gathering in person.

The experience of shaking someone’s hand, giving them a hug, or being able to share space with them is a whole different type of bonding. So, go to events. If you work remotely, visit your office. This real-life face time is unmatched.

17. There’s a Time to Be Clever And There’s a Time to Be Clear.

I’m a writer; wordplay is my jam -- but you need to know when it is appropriate.

When it comes to communication, never sacrifice the clarity of your message just to sound clever. It doesn’t matter how great what you’re saying is if no one can understand it.

18. The Law of Diminishing Returns Is Real.

A few years ago, we increased our content output expecting increased traffic, but we didn’t see it. Our audience, in fact, told us they couldn’t keep up and numbers plateaued and even dropped.  

The fact is there are limits to everything. You can only eat so many cookies. You can only walk so many miles. Markets get saturated. People reach critical mass with how much content they’re able to consume and you need to keep your eye on this.

That said...

19. Quality Always Tops Quantity.

Would you rather be in a room with 10 strangers or in a room with two of your best friends? How about publishing 10 terrible articles that get lost in cyberspace or two that you’re proud of and Google ranks on the first page?

In almost every situation, quality is more important than quantity.

20. Free Doesn’t Mean Good.

Don’t get me wrong -- I’m the queen of freebies, but don’t underestimate your audience and think they’ll fill out a form or take anything you give them just because it’s free.

People still want and demand quality, and you should too.

21. Emotion Doesn't Make You Weak.

I was never an emotional person until a little over three years ago. I had never even cried at a movie, but my world came crashing down when my cousin passed away unexpectedly and the pain seeped into every aspect of my life.

I cried more than I’ve ever cried in my life and in front of colleagues I’d never want to see my weakness -- but that’s the thing. Over time, I’ve begun to learn it’s not a weakness.

Emotion is human.

Being able to show, capture, understand, and express real emotion in way that can touch others is a powerful skill as a marketer and a person. In both cases, it makes people feel closer to you; it helps bond them to you and it shows them you understand them on a deeper level.

So...

22. It's OK to Get Personal.

Again, people want to be around and do business with other people. When you get personal and are vulnerable about your experiences, you are more endearing.

23. Forgive Yourself for “Failing.”

Whether it was a relationship or a campaign gone bust, sometimes things don’t go as planned. Actually, things almost never go as planned. Dust yourself off and try again. You only failed if you didn’t learn anything from it.

24. Don’t Propose After the First Date.

Speaking of failed relationships, respect the natural progression of human interaction whether it be professional or personal.

Just like you wouldn’t propose after a first date when someone is just getting to know you, don’t go in for the hard sell after a first meeting.

In neither of these situations is the person likely looking to seal the deal, so slow it down.

25. Create Good Memories.

People love to talk about “the good times.” As a brand, you should be creating good memories like these for your buyers and as a person, do it for your soul.

26. You Can’t Make Everyone Happy.

There’s always going to be a critic or someone who disagrees with what you do or say so don’t set out to try to make everyone happy. Focus on those who actually matter -- your audience; your loved ones.

27. Be Yourself.

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but it also means that you’re just one of many. Embrace what makes you or your brand unique and different or you’ll get lost in the crowd.

Plus, people can always sense when you’re trying to be something you’re not and nothing is a bigger turn-off.

28. Take Risks.

Risks can be scary, but only because they can be life-changing. So, take the leap. I’m not saying be reckless, but if an opportunity or idea won’t destroy everything you’ve worked for, give it a shot.

If it doesn’t work out, remember #23.

29. Discomfort Is Good.

If a situation makes you uncomfortable, it’s likely just because it’s something you’ve never experienced before. It’s an opportunity to grow and discover. Embrace it.

30. You Never Stop Learning.

Like many of you, when I was growing up, 30 seemed ancient.

When I hit that age, I would be an old woman. I would have seen everything, experienced everything, and learned everything. I would have everything figure out -- but that, obviously, was absurd.

Whether it comes to work or life, there is always something new to be uncovered and improved.

Both digital marketing and life are always changing and I certainly do not know nearly everything about either of them. But I do know that as I keep learning and evolving in both arenas, I will be excited and honored to share my lessons with all of you.

Here’s to officially being thirty, wordy, and thriving.

from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/30-things-i-learned-before-turning-30-about-life-marketing

[cloudywithachanceofdiscourse]

Before the Storm

I have so many mixed feelings about it.

The first two episodes were beautiful. Really fucking beautiful. There were a few problems however.

1. Rachel's ridiculous powers. Yes I get that it's supposed to relate to the storm in season 1. But we never get a follow up. And it's just stupid.

2. The running away together thing. At that point, they had spent one night and one day together, and they're already deciding to run away. What the hell?

3. The students. There was already some issues about Warren's age in the first season but this is even more confusing. Plus it's implied in season 1 that people like Taylor and Stella were new students, joining in the same year as Max. So why are they at Blackwell when Chloe is there?

Plus there was the problem of Frank and Mr Jefferson. Rachel canonically had a relationship with both of them, so if you choose to pursue a relationship with Rachel as Chloe, she cheats on you. That's confirmed! She sleeps with Frank for drugs and falls in love with Jefferson. So this beautiful love story that's painted in before the storm is ruined.

As for episode 3, I really hated it. The whole Rachel's mother thing is like some soap opera storyline. I half expected the eastenders theme tune to play at the end of episode 2. The affair was annoying enough but it wasn't overly dramatic.

Then the stabbing. What the hell was that? He stabbed a 16 year old girl because she was the DA's daughter, but THEN it turns out he was working with Rachel's dad. What the hell? This was also stupidly dramatic, but again, I'll accept it. Sure, whatever, that happened.

Then the stupid sleuthing. I literally don't know any of these people, why did we even have to do this scene? One thing I DID like was the Eliot thing. I know I'm in the minority on that, but whatever, I liked it. It actually provided answers, unlike with Warren. And I liked Warren. I thought he was cool. But it would've been cool if Warren had turned out to be an obsessive stalker.

Then we get to the scene with Sera. Chloe gets kicked in the ribs and head by Mr Stabby? What the hell, more dramatic bullshit, we've not had enough of that in this episode.

Then the stupid drug scenes. Forcibly injected her with heroin? What the fuckity fuck? Stupid shit, yet again. And then somehow Frank has killed Damon and Sera isn't actually drugged, even though we fucking saw it. And all of a sudden she doesn't want to see Rachel, even though she's been trying to get in contact with her and got clean just to be a mother to her. You've changed your tune, Sera. So much for wanting to be in Rachel's life.

And the end, that fucking ending. It honestly disgusted me. It was completely unnecessary, obviously made to shock us or 'hit us right in the feels!' or whatever. What the fuck, deck nine? What is wrong with you? We KNOW that Rachel died, we didn't need reminding. What's next, a scene of Chloe bleeding to death on the floor of the Bathroom. I feel like they might have actually done that, but couldn't because some people chose to keep Chloe alive.

Straying away from my main point but why the fuck was Samantha made? What? What what? What what what what? Yeah, she was a possible love interest for Nathan but I mean then what? She leaves and he becomes mentally ill? I think the fuck not. Pointless. The stupidness of it makes me hate her. It's a very weird feeling, I just feel empty and vaguely pissed at the mention of her. She has made me lose my mind. What the hell is life? Is this what taking drugs is like? Help.

The whole game was messy. On one hand, I adored the first two episodes, despite the continuity errors. On the other hand, it just doesn't fit with the main game. This is clearly because Deck nine's interpretation of Rachel and Chloe's relationship was different to Don't nod's. It just doesn't work. I honestly don't think they should have made the relationship between Rachel and Chloe depend on the player's choices. Rachel canonically sleeps with Frank and is in love with Jefferson. You can't have Amberprice be dependent. If they were friends, Chloe is feeling possibly jealous over Rachel's relationships and slightly betrayed because she wasn't told or she was feeling very betrayed because Rachel cheated on her with TWO DIFFERENT MEN. Which would make Max's comment in the car ride in episode 3 ("Chloe, Rachel didn't betray you") completely wrong. Uh, yes Max, she did. In season 1, based on the reaction, it only makes sense that Rachel and Chloe weren't together, unless they broke up, buuuutt we were never shown that. Amberprice can NOT happen without having season 1 make no sense. It sucks, but that's how it is.

I'm gonna make a separate post to say what I think before the storm should've been like.

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 2: Thoughts on 4x01 Echoes

Mmmmkay, literally JUST finished watching 4x01. I’m very proud of myself because I completely avoided ALL spoilers and I’m not going to unblock tumblr until I finish this reaction post so I can write down my totally spontaneous and unadulterated thoughts.

My general reaction: I actually kind of liked it. I wouldn’t say I liked it as much as Seasons 1 and 2 and I wouldn’t say I’m optimistic about the season and frankly I still have a lot of complaints, most of which are so general I don’t think they’ll ever be resolved BUT I would undoubtedly say that 4x01 was better than 3x01 and I’m actually looking forward to 4x02; it looks like just the kind of plot I like: tense, self-contained, lots of delinquents.

(loooong reaction under the read more)

So some things I didn’t like first so I can get my negativity out of the way:

I never fully believed that either Jarod Joseph or Chelsey Reist were going to be regulars because I thought that people were reading a lot into kind of vague tweets but I wanted to believe it, especially with Jarod Joseph and honestly even though I don’t like Harper…they both deserve main status by now. I mean they’ve lasted this fucking long. I cannot believe Zack McGowan gets main status and Jarod and Chelsey don’t.

I don’t give a fuck about the Grounders. I don’t! I don’t care!! And I will never care. So all this Polis shit, Grounder politics, Echo yammering on, blah blah blah. I can’t follow it and I don’t even want to follow it. In my incredibly subjective opinion, it really weighs the show down.

Roan constantly sounds like he’s having a * Tina Fey voice * talking like this contest. I have no idea what his real voice sounds like but if this is at all a put on accent he needs to tone it down for realsies I cannot take him seriously.

Monty/Harper. Get it away get it away. (I’m not going to go into why I hate them but rest assured every reaction I write this entire season will have some variation of this point, if the episode in question features them as a couple at all. Having a canon NoTP is such a fannish burden so I’m going to whine about it at top volume all the time.)

NO MILLER. A TRAVESTY.

This isn’t entirely the show’s fault but I roll my eyes every time I hear L*xa’s name, like some kind of Pavlovian dog, so obviously I did a lot of eye rolling and now my eyes kind of hurt. In particular, Clarke’s overwrought sadness about her was just so… I’m done, I’m tired of it, I don’t care. I know I’m not being fair, because in the timeline of the show obviously L’s death is very close. But, first off, I don’t think Clarke loved her at all—I think she thinks she did but she did not, and I don’t think that line would even have been included if it weren’t for RL events. Second, and relatedly, I think that little scene with Abby and the Dramatic Single Tear TM when she hands over the chip were so clearly about appeasing fans and doing penance for daring to kill a lesbian that they took me out of the show. I wasn’t watching Clarke in Polis, I was watching Eliza Taylor acting on a set. I hope that’s the end of that, and we never have to deal with that shit again.

I didn’t like Kane’s line to Bellamy about eventually deserving to survive. I know why it’s in there, both in an in-universe and in a line-to-the-fans way, but frankly my initial thought is: all human beings deserve survival. It’s not like only good people should be allowed to live a radiation free life lol. And second, can we just leave him the fuck alone already? I’m done with the Bellamy dogpile. Let’s hope that shit’s done too.

Speaking of lines I didn’t like, Bellamy calling Clarke Princess is basically the definition of Do Not Want. It’s the sort of thing that, small as it is, makes me think that the writers don’t know their own creation and it makes me lose faith in them again. That name was an insult—it was always a fucking insult, it’s not cute, it’s not a pet name, and it has no place in the Bellarke relationship anymore. Such an unnecessary false note. (I probably seem/am disproportionately mad about it…but I hate it.)

I could have done without that last scene. It just looked so….fake. Again it just took me out of the show completely. Was it supposed to show us how dire everything is? I got that message the last 20 times lol.

The stuff I did like:

BELLAMY. There wasn’t enough of him, but he was A FUCKING STAR in the scenes he did get, especially the negotiation scene. Like I could list every line I liked and every moment I liked and that would probably be more proportional to the degree I liked them but it’s probably faster and more efficient to say that I loved it all. I loved that he and Clarke acted like (mostly) equal co-leaders. I liked that they looked to each other all the time, and had all of these silent eye-communication moments. I liked the scene with him and Kane and Indra before the meeting with Echo, I loved that Echo views him as the only Sky Person she’ll talk to, and I loved…basically all of it but I guess what I’m trying to say is I loved both how he handled the negotiation and that HE was the one doing it.

Indra was killing it in this ep too. I loved the hug with Kane of course. I loved her and Murphy in the pre-negotiation scene (“I never agreed to [guns].” / “That’s because you’re not stupid.”) (She and Murphy need their own show like I would watch it.) I like how she’s basically chilling with the Sky People now—like the little scene in the temple had such a cool collection of characters, I was digging it. (Except for Octavia…who I really don’t know what to make of this season yet so.)

Speaking of Murphy…. Okay, I wasn’t impressed by Murphy/Emori in Season 3 but I did like their scenes in this episode. Unfortunately, I was really looking forward to them joining up with the Sky People in Arkadia; I want to see another Grounder trying to find a place in Arkadia (since Lincoln was brutally murdered and all) and I want to see Murphy re-integrate himself because tbh he really is at his best when he has people to play off of. People who aren’t Emori. So I was a little bummed when they ran off into the night together because I really don’t care to watch the two of them in a vacuum and also…we already saw that? But anyway I did like their scenes in this ep so they’re in the positive column. I also like that we finally got an explanation as to why Emori took the chip.

I’ve had sort of mixed feelings about Jaha because I’m not sure whether or not I can follow his story line/character progression or not but I will say: I am 100% Team Jaha as of right now. I do think that, whatever he was on the Ark or in S1, his late S1/early S2 transformation was genuine, and he really is trying to be a good person who helps people. I hope he finds the salvation and the purpose he’s been looking for. And his role in the little ploy with Octavia and the shroud was great.

That whole sequence was probably the strongest in the episode. I think one of The 100’s greatest weaknesses at this point is the complexity of its various allegiances and all the old bad blood that’s been spilled everywhere. I haven’t seen S3 since it aired and so even as a pretty big fan I still find some stuff hard to follow—it’s hard to remember who betrayed who when and all this shit and even though some Obvious Exposition is peppered in to help us along, it’s not enough for me sometimes. But this spider web of interconnected relationships, both good and bad, is also an asset of the show and I thought that middle sequence, from the “we surrender” line to Roan waking up, really played all of that up in a good way. It brought a lot of characters and a lot of history together in a way that generally worked very well. I liked the shroud ploy (though omg the Azgeda warriors are dumb AF—how could Octavia just get up and walk around and no one noticed her? Like they’re all looking outward and no one’s looking at the big ol’ empty middle of the room? And then she, a child who lived sixteen very unhealthy years under the floor and has been on Earth probably less than a year with only a handful of months of warrior training if that is able to take out a whole room of the most fearsome warriors in the post-apocalypse? It defies belief I’m sorry). I liked the Griffins operating together. I loved the tension. (Lessened somewhat by knowing Roan would live, what with him being a main and all.) Loved the whole goshdarn thing.

Most of the Arkadia stuff was pretty eh but only in that there wasn’t much of it, and what there was, we’d seen before in promotional clips and stuff (though I will say: they did better with the promotional stuff this year; I think last year they gave away some of their surprises in a way that made the scenes ring very false on a first viewing imo). But obviously I loved my boy Jasper. I would have found his almost-suicide very hard to watch if I hadn’t known it was coming but as it was, I could be more detached about it. I wish we’d seen more of his room but what we did see was interesting (I have an obsession with the Ark/Arkadia sets okay): his art—not just Maya’s favorite painting but another one near the door; his goggles with the plastic over the eyes knocked out—like him, just a shell of their former selves; all his random tools on his desk like why does he have those?; his notebooks. And, oh, that he left a suicide note to Monty. And even just their small interaction at the door was great.

Also… while in a way I find it an odd beat for him to go from his last scene with Monty in 3x16 to almost killing himself in 4x01, mere hours later in the canon timeline… I believe it, and I’m glad that my previous fears, that the show would just forget what he’d gone through and do a Jasper re-set in the new season, can be put to rest. I liked and believed in his transition from really-ready-to-die, to well-the-world’s-gonna-kill-me-and-make-it-easy-might-as-well-enjoy-Earth.

But the best Arkadia scene was the one between Jasper and Raven. First of all because I FUCKING CALLED IT that Raven shouldn’t have the sort of coding/computer abilities that she has. I hypothesized that she might have improved her skills at some point during the S2-S3 hiatus because her disability lessened her ability to do legwork, but I also mentioned that it could have been ALIE which still means I WAS RIGHT BOOM. (I just like being right a lot okay.) Also the “upgrade” talk reminded me of Dollhouse. Which was exciting but also made me all bitter and mad because Dollhouse did the idea of artificial upgrades to your brain so much better. Made me feel inspired for my Dollhouse AU though so there’s that.

I don’t ship Jasper/Raven but I do friend-ship them and I hope they bond over having been ALIE-d.

Also speaking of being AlIE-d, I don’t think Harper forgives Jasper for what his chipped self did. And she probably shouldn’t honestly because my theory is still that ALIE pulled from the real feelings and thoughts of chipped people and maybe someday I’ll write a full explanation of why I think that—which isn’t to say that Jasper wants to hurt Harper but just to say that ‘pleading the chip’ isn’t as straightforward as all that. Still, even though it makes sense narratively, because I will pick Jasper over pretty much everyone this is sorta another reason to unfairly dislike Harper. If there is anything even remotely like a Monty having to choose scenario I will be very perturbed though.  (This isn’t something I especially liked or disliked, the thought just occurred to me while I was talking about Arkadia stuff.)

It’s pretty early to say anything about her at all but Unnamed Possible Priestess (Kenza??) is looking so promising. First, we know from the trailer she’s gorgeous and I’m always here for that. Second and to be less shallow for a second, Indra seems to know her, maybe, so that could be cool. And third, while I have yet to be impressed by Grounder religion, I am very curious to see if she’s going to be bringing in a different aspect to their spirituality. I don’t know her but I already want to see her go head to head with Roan.

I had a bit of a discussion/ramble with my mom yesterday when she was telling me a bit about the episode in a vague spoiler-free way and I was trying to explain when I like Clarke (when she’s a co-leader with a reasonably sized head, when she’s cunning and imaginative like in early S2) (early S2 Clarke is my favorite Clarke fyi) and when I don’t like her (when she’s arrogant, when she thinks she can do everything herself, when she doesn’t listen to others—basically season 2B Clarke and Clarke in parts of S3), and she said I thought I would like her in this ep. I was on the fence. I liked her with Bellamy. And she had moments that objectively I probably should have liked but I’ve just been so tired of her shit for so long it’s hard for me not to feel Tired Of Her in general. But… I guess I’ll say I think Clarke looks promising.

I kind of loved how at the end of the episode when Kabby were saying goodbye to their children and story-line heirs Bellarke, Abby says “Okay let’s do this” or some such, and then the first thing she does is hug Clarke. I know she means “okay, let’s accomplish the plan, which means separating, so I gotta say goodbye to my daughter first” but it looked a little like the “this” was hugging. Which is sort of sweet.

…Um wow I’ve written a lot and I can’t think of anything so I guess I’m done FOR NOW.

Looking forward to lots of delinquents, some hopefully cool tense scenes, more Miller and Bryan, and Clarke in a better outfit next time.