#and then they indefinitely cancelled it until after the pandemic.

[swagging-back-to]

really, in this day in age if you refuse to release your movie for streaming youre actual shit and it tells me that your movie is ALSO shit.

[hezuart]

Why did you switch from animation to reviews? Also, do you still plan on doing CGI like you mentioned multiple times?

oH BOY..... you may need to sit down for this one

So it all started back in 2012. I was around 14 years old and just saw Rise of the Guardians and Wreck it Ralph. The stories, the characters, the world-building, the animation... now I never really went to movie theaters as a kid, but as a teen I started going and I instantly fell in love.

I went to community college for a few years and made some amazing friends. Loved some of my teachers and we participated in fun events like the 24-hour challenge and Campus Movie Fest. I had gotten in the top picks for Campus Movie Fest at some point and was supposed to go to the Cannes Film Festival in France to showcase my short film, but then the pandemic hit and it got canceled indefinitely.

So get this, for community college, I got a certification in 3D Animation and Video Game development. It's basically an AA degree but without general ed. (Why do you need general ed to get a degree in something? Math and PE have nothing to do with Animation. College is ridiculous. People have to pay you more simply because you were forced to spend more money in college. Wild.) Out of the 20 classes I had taken to get this certification, only 3 of those courses were hands-on 3D animation. And only one of those courses was hands-on video game development and I dropped out of that class because it was PC only and I only had a Mac at the time. I applied to the class without realizing it was accommodating only to PCs. So even my certification is barely reaching the basics for the title of it, but I did take another online course or two for 3D animation which I have a different certification for.

Now even with my 3D animation, I was never taught the physics engine. I was never taught hair or cloth simulation, but I do have modeling, rigging, animating, and texturing experience. For gaming, I have very little experience. I've only modeled things and found my way around Unity, but otherwise, I suck at coding. I hate coding with a passion. Making a video game without coding isn't really possible.

Now, when the pandemic hit, a lot of things were shutting down. I had no idea where I wanted to go next. People kept asking me where I was going for my higher education, but I kept getting warned not to waste money on college if you're trying to become an artist, especially at University. It's a money pit, and competition is so high, you're not guaranteed a job, you're just gonna be in debt. Even colleges like Cal Arts, who charge over $1K per class, I've been told are a "Pay to get in" kind of place. Where the money is used to nab professionals from their work to teach students or talk about their company or programs, and through that, you get a bigger chance to get your foot in the door because you know someone. I've unfortunately been told that's the more realistic way to get into animation: networking. If you're a shy introvert who doesn't know any famous people, you need to be extremely talented and unique to stand out to get the chance of being noticed. I don't really want to suck up to people nor do I want to waste thousands of dollars and 5 more years on college that I may not even need (let alone be able to afford) especially if there are online classes that may be even more valuable.

Now after I got out of college and started applying a few places, I discovered a LOT of unfortunate information.

Most animation these days is done overseas. South Korea, India, Japan, and Canada are the big ones.

Invader Zim, Steven Universe, Miraculous Ladybug, The Simpsons, OK KO, Star vs the Forces of Evil, Kipo and the Age of the Wonder Beasts, Adventure Time, Twelve Forever, and the Powerpuff Girls Reboot were animated in South Korea. The Ghost and Molly Mcgee is animated in Canada.

(The first four seasons of the Simpsons were animated in America until it switched to South Korea and India.)

2D traditional animation is no longer viable. Puppetry is the industry standard because it's the cheapest. Luckily, Toon Boom Harmony has allowed us to push the boundaries of 2D puppetry. Puppetry these days, if done well, can look really great, like Tangled the Series, but if you don't have Toon Boom Harmony, you're probably not gonna be hired.

Not even all 3D is made in the USA. If it's Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar, then it's usually USA. But streaming service movies, like Sea Beast, Kid Cosmic, The Willoughbys, and Klaus, while they claim to be a "Netflix Original" that "Netflix Animation" animated, that's a lie. Klaus was animated by Yowza! Animation in Canada. The Willoughbys: Bron Animation, Canada. Kid Cosmic: Mercury Filmworks, Canada. Sea Beast: Sony Pictures Image Works, Canada. (X)

Go Go Cory Carson is written and storyboarded in America, but the animation is shipped out to be done in France. Sonic Boom is also French Animated.

Even Sony Pictures? Open Season, Surf's Up, Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, SMurfs, Hotel Transylvania, Over the Moon, The Angry Birds Movie, Sea Beast? Sony Pictures Imageworks is based in Canada. They're doing all the animation for them. It's not animated in America, it's merely funded by them.

I should also clarify: I only want to participate in stylized animated media. I don't want to do CGI for hyper-realistic films, which eliminates most of the animation jobs out there these days. It's just not my thing. The insane amount of details and uncanny valley are just so unappealing, I can't do it.

The closest animation studios are still far away. Most companies are located in LA. I'm over 7+ hours away from there. LA also has a high poverty rate, terrible air quality, is overcrowded, and is just generally not a good place to live, especially if you're low middle class. You're not gonna survive there.

Pixar is located in Emeryville, a few minutes north of San Fransisco city. Emeryville is the most crime-ridden city in that area. They tell you not to walk home alone at night. You're more likely to get robbed there than anywhere else according to the population ratio there. There are a lot of gangs that hide up there, and there's a lot of poverty there, even outside of San Fransisco. It's basically a trash pit. Not an ideal place to live, and commuting through 3-hour SF city traffic is also not gonna work. (X)

I have also been informed some people who work at Pixar are petty that the interns use their facility. Pixar has a heated pool, soccer field, gymnasium, and a few other nice things on their property. I was informed there was a person or two who got mad that an intern was using their basketball court.... when the intern was on break. As though they weren't part of Pixar, as though they had no right to touch the property. Apparently, they also used to make the interns push around little tea carts to serve refreshments as a way to "talk to the fellow animators" to probably get them interacting, but hearing that the interns were basically chored with butler duty to bother the animators hard at work seems like such a forced thing. That makes me uncomfortable. Of course, the person who told me these stories has been working with Pixar for over a decade or two now, so things could be very different as the years went on. Pixar itself on the inside of the animator building is gorgeous. They all decorate their office spaces in crazy ways, it looks like a movie set. But they have a bar and "whiskey club". They're apparently allowed to drink at work and have often had parties that got a little out of hand. There's also an old chain smoker room where the founders used to play poker and spy on people outside of their room with hidden cameras; I've even been inside. I don't think they use it anymore, though I'm not totally sure. Some of this info was fascinating, but the drinking made me uncomfortable. I kinda want to work with sober people here.

The sex ratio in the animation industry is also interesting and unfavorable. 70% of the animation and art school ratio is women, but only 34% of the actual animation workforce is women. 34% female to 66% male. More women study animation than men, but more men get hired and hold positions than women. Animation, ironically, has always been a male-dominated workplace. This unfortunately contributes to the "you have to know someone" or "be rich" to get-in situation. Men know a lot more men and not as many women. So the 30 to 40-year-old guys hire the other guys they know rather than a young poor girl with a passion. This makes it even more difficult for me to get in. (X)

20th Century, Netflix Animation, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Bento Box, Vanguard Animation, Universal Studios, Titmouse, 6 Point Harness, ShadowMachine- all LA / South California.

There are a few places I could apply to, but what they do, I just don't care for. Niantic(Pokemon Go), Lucasfilm(Effects), Whiteboard Animation(Marketing), Sharpeyeanimation (Marketing), EA games (Mass Effect, Battlefield, Dragon Age 2, all those hyper-realistic war, sports, or fantasy games.)

So whether it's outside of the USA or within the USA, I need to move. I don't have the money for that yet.

Just find a company that does remote work, right? It should be easy, especially in pandemic times! Wrong. Most animation companies don't permit remote work. It's probably a security issue. But I've done research on this. The only big animation company I've found (so far) that allows remote work (or is HIRING for remote work) is Mainframe Studios in Canada. They have a 3D animation job list, and I guess they focus on animating Barbie movies(???). (X) But that's about it. And even if you're a remote worker, there's a high likely hood you still need a Visa to be allowed to work for a company belonging to another country. So that's a whole other legal process to deal with.

Disney is becoming a huge corporate monopoly over American animation. They bought Blue Sky only to kill them off. (Disney also just recently laid off 7,000 people due to their stock price drop and failed movies they released the past year with deliberately bad marketing for political reasons. (X) Disney also bought Pixar and is pushing for sequels because weird or bad, sequels and terrible live actions make them a LOT of money. Did you know Disney's terrible Lion King CGI remake is amongst the top 10 highest-grossing movies ever made? It's criminal. (X)

Because Disney is such a big name in the USA, there's a huge association of animation = children's media, which is not true. Animation at the Oscars also has its own category, when it's not a genre, is a medium. Disney often wins at the Oscars too because no one sees the other animations. Granted, Disney has an insane marketing budget in comparison, but it's clear no one cares to seek out animation outside of heavy CGI live-action these days. No small-time studios, no limited releases, no anime. The fact that Disney also now OWNS the Oscars is SUS as hell. (The fact that Disney-owned ABC threatened the Oscars, forcing them to cut 8 categories or else there wouldn't be a show that year is wild. There isn't even an oscar for stuntmen. What the fuck, Hollywood?) (X)

Dreamworks nearly went bankrupt and sold itself to Comcast back in 2013. Comcast also owns Illumination. Dreamworks has been focusing on making bad tv show adaptions of their IPs. So yes people, Jack would sooner meet the Minions than meet Elsa. Disney is the biggest corporate monopoly, but it's definitely not the only one. The animation industry in America is snuffing out its competition by buying it out for itself. It's insane the kind of power they have.

Competition is HIGH. Because of this, the only ways to get in? If you're rich or you know someone. Pixar gets over 3,000 intern applications every summer. Less than 100 are seen by actual hiring managers. The most interns Pixar has ever taken in a single year were 12. The least they ever took in a single year was two. A 12 to 3,000 ratio is not favorable. That's a 3% chance to get into a big-shot animation company.

And again, because remote work isn't permissible to new hires, you need to live in the area to commute to the campuses. This is one of the reasons why LA is so crowded.

If you get into an animation company purely remote and maybe even for a different country? You are the luckiest person alive.

Programs are expensive. The animation industry is very strict on what programs they use. The industry standard for 2D puppetry is Toon Boom Harmony; the industry standard for 3D animation is Maya, and the industry standard for video game development isn't as clear but Unity is one of them.

Some of these programs are free, as long as you are a student. If you are attending college or a certain online program, you can use your school-issued email through them to apply to get the program for free for about a year. Otherwise, if you're using it to make your own animations solo?

Autodesk Maya: $225 a month or $1,785 a year (X)

and guess what? Maya removed its free render service. Arnold is now built in by default, however, if you want to BATCH render (Meaning render a full scene or several slides) it will slap it's ugly watermark over it.

Fun fact, this very rendered watermark can be seen accidentally in a single frame for the Kingdom Hearts Frozen cutscene

Well, you need to batch render if you're trying to animate so let's see what Arnold costs- $50 monthly to $380 annually.... are you kidding me?! The rendering PLUG-IN BUNDLED TO MAYA COSTS MORE TO USE THAN THE OWN PROGRAM?! (X)

Now, there are other rendering plug-ins you can probably use with Maya. But they all have their ups and downs and their own costs as well. (X) Pixar's Renderman is $595 per license. I can't seem to get info on Octane. V-ray solo is $39 monthly while premium is around $60 monthly.

Now there IS Blender, an alternative to Maya. It is free and I have it. That is ideal to work in for people like me. I tried it a while back, but I hated the interface windows. It was hard to work on it when you can't close them properly. It's possible they've fixed this in an update, but I haven't touched the program in over three years so I wouldn't know. It's different from Maya a little, so it has ups and downs in comparison too. But Blender is a savior to 3D artists everywhere.

Toon Boom Harmony isn't as bad but still high: Lowest price is $27 monthly / $220 annual and the highest is $124 monthly / $1,100 annual (X)

Unity has a basic version that is free, but Unity Plus is $399 yearly while Unity Pro is $2,040 (X)

So some programs are clearly more viable than others. But imagine you're trying to model, texture, rig, animate, simulate, and render a short film all by yourself in Maya. That's gonna take you over a year or two, and you'll have several thousand dollars out of your pocket by the time your free trial ends. And might I say, for an industry-standard program, Maya sucks. It's almost unusable without those plug-ins for not only rendering but also for the models to even be able to SELECT their BONE rigs.

Do you want to practice on your own when school is out of session? Fuck you! Fuck subscription services! Welcome to capitalist hell, baby!

Again, using Blender is more viable, but you're still going to be basically doing everything yourself. That's gonna take years. Do you have the patience for that? Do I?

Because of the pandemic, movies aren't even hitting theaters anymore. They're going straight to streaming services. Streaming services of which, gain sole rights to and can take media off their platforms at any time without warning. Thanks, Discovery+ ! Does everyone remember the HBO Max Animation & DC purge? It could happen to other streaming services too. Piracy will save the future of animation at this point. (X)

And again, Streaming services like Netflix will purchase films and claim they made them by slapping their logo over it; but no, they either bought the distribution rights or produced them through funding and maybe storyboarding. Often times from a Canadian film studio. (Link again X)

Even stop motion companies like LAIKA are losing money and may have to shut down or be bought out in the future, especially considering how much work and money they put into their films vs. how much money they actually make. (X)

All of this? Naturally made me fall into a depression. My god, the layers of hopelessness. My animation and modeling is pretty average too. I'm decent. I can maybe make a good shot. But I can't blow people away like James Baxter can. I mean, I shouldn't compare myself to people. If I worked really hard, maybe I could get into a good company. But again, I have to move! A part of me gave up. I don't really do 3D animation anymore, though part of me misses it.

I still 2D animate. I'm trying to make a short film and though my college friends who were working on it with me have given up, I have done my best to keep going. Even if it has been produced at a snail's pace for the past three years, I still intend to finish this animation. It's gonna be beautiful when it comes out, and it will be a wonderful portfolio piece regardless.

So with nothing else to do and no other kind of job experience really under my belt(plus my family is prone to covid so getting a job in the pandemic was just kind of out of the question) I decided to go to youtube. I heard some people can make a little money on there, but the truth is I had actually wanted to become a youtuber for a few years prior. I've always looked up to animators and reviewers on youtube, I've loved the stories they tell and their incredibly detailed analysis essays on movies, tv series, books, etc. I wanted to be one of them. I wasn't sure exactly what I'd do, so I just followed the Youtube Partnership program set up which took a few months, and then jumped in! I found I only had the time to upload once every month or two. I had a ton of audio issues and I'm not outputting at the proper 1920 x 1080 quality that I should be doing either. It's a huge learning process that I still haven't perfected, but I'm taking notes to try and get better.

Even though Youtube is fun, I only make $300 a month, and that isn't even consistent. With patreon, I make maybe another $80 or $100 on top of that, so overall $400 a month average. That's really nice and pretty cool! But it's not enough to survive.

Now I work part-time at a coffee shop. My mental health is a lot better and I love my coworkers. I make roughly $400 a week in comparison to the $400 a month. It's still not enough to live off of (the cheapest rent around is over $1,000 a month, not ) and it's still a temporary job in the long run. I intend to work here for maybe another two years to save up money.

But what do I do now?

Am I welcome in animation spaces anymore?

As a critic of popular media, it could be likely that they could fire me or deny my application because of my critique of their past films or tv series. They could see my youtube persona and assume I'm a raging untrustworthy nitpick instead of a passionate, kind person.

Vivziepop's Spindlehorse company? What Viv was doing was a dream. I was so inspired by her. She made her own company, made a super successful pilot, and was even creating more jobs for traditional, high-quality animation. However, for Hazbin Hotel, she required more funding, which is why she sold it off to A24, who now has corporate say in the show. A24 is known for letting creators be more lenient, but otherwise, Viv won't have full control over it anymore unless she managed to get them to sign something over to her; but with the rumors of her being kicked off season 1? I don't know anymore.

Her own company Spindlehorse; they rely on youtube revenue and/or merch sales to fund Helluva Boss. That's a tricky business practice, but it's kept them afloat so far.

However, Spindlehorse is hiring a lot of people as of late. This could be a bad sign; that people might be leaving the company due to potential mistreatment or unhappiness. With the way the show is going, I don't really want to be part of that company regardless, but maybe before season 2 of Helluva Boss, I would have considered applying. Had I made any critique videos prior, there's no way they'd accept me. "Aren't you that one YouTuber that said my writing is bad for season 2 episode 2?" And you expect me to hire you?" Like yeah, that application process would go down well. Not. By critiquing artists' work, some of them are very sensitive. I'd be kicked out for a lot of things, when really, we artists should be critiquing each other all the time, trying to improve. That's how the writer's room always is, ahaha... hours of fighting goes down in those meetings. It's intense, but fun.

But yeah, it's such a shame. Even small companies need to sell out to corporate to survive. Either that or be HEAVILY crowd-funded, which again, can be a slippery slope.

I see a ton of small projects on Twitter looking to hire people, or looking to become a big studio to release a pilot or game. I've joined a few of them, but most are unpaid because of COURSE they are, and then these projects?? Just don't go anywhere. Because it's unpaid. Because we can't afford to work on a project for free. IRL comes first. Some of these projects seem so great but they don't go anywhere, and it's hard to have faith in start-up studios anymore. (Game creators might have a chance, but tv series or films? Good luck, folks.)

At that point, should I just make my own company? I don't have the money or knowledge for such a thing! It's insanely expensive to start a business and get licensing. So much paperwork, so much everything! And the USA Government is so behind in understanding technology. If you want to create a remote business and/or copyright something, you're still required to put an advertisement in a local newspaper about it, even if your business isn't selling to locals. 💀 The number of fees and ridiculous legal hoops you need to jump through... it's a ridiculous waste of time and money. But you need to do it. The question is, am I willing to do it? Am I willing to tackle such an insane thing by myself?

I want to keep my internet persona and IRL persona separate, but can I? I value having a private, quieter life away from the screen. I worry about getting doxxed one day because of the nature of the internet. I worry about people finding my IRL resumes or profiles for work I want to do outside of youtube for security's sake. My art style is unique and very recognizable. I don't have a lot of private art that is worthy of being in a portfolio. But for absolute safety, I'd need to password-protect my websites or portfolios so the public doesn't have free access to them; only companies I'm applying to. But at that point, does password-protecting my resume and portfolio make it less likely I'd be hired due to the inconvenience? Due to the private, hard-to-find nature of my work? Being a YouTuber with great story skills and art skills with a fanbase could be a big plus to getting hired somewhere, but it could also be a horrible disadvantage that would get me fired. It's a double-edged sword that I cannot work around and I don't know what to do.

I've considered the video game industry, but even that isn't ideal. A lot of the indie ones I adore aren't made in the USA. Gris and Monster Camp were made in Spain. Ori and the Blind Forest: Austria. Hollow Knight: Australia. Little Nightmares and Raft: Sweden. LIMBO & INSIDE: Denmark. Outlast, Don't Starve, Spirit Farer, Bendy and the Ink Machine: Canada.

SuperGiant Games did Hades, Transistor and Bastion and is located in SF, but they're not hiring. Janimation, a multi-media company located in Texas isn't hiring. Frederator in New York isn't hiring.

I don't want to work for a studio that does nothing but first-person shooters or sports games. If I want to get into the gaming industry, I probably need to crowdfund and make a company to make a game myself.

If I make my own game, which I've wanted to do for a long time now and still want to... I can't code. I guess I could try to hire someone that could? But a game to the extent I want... I'd need to start small. I'd need to practice. It's several years of work. Will it even be worth it? I don't think I can do it alone. I'd need crowdfunding and workers; which again, here comes the "make my own studio" issue...

Do I even want to animate anymore? I prefer traditional animation in comparison to puppetry. I prefer 2D animation to 3D animation simply because it is more accessible. But even then, I'm finding myself drawn more and more to writing, storyboarding, and character design. If I were a 3D animator, this is mostly what I'd be working with all day: Naked models in an empty room. I'd do none of the physics simulation or texturing or lighting.

Animating naked & bald people all day... I don't know... 3D Animation kind of lost its appeal. You only work on such a small portion of a film, you almost never have the bigger picture. You won't see the final result until the film is done. As an animator, you're almost kept in the dark. Maybe that's how they want it anyway, since leaks are a huge issue they keep quiet under strict NDA.

But yeah, anyway... I'm an artistic digital generalist. I can do almost anything. 3D animation, storyboarding, writing, photo editing, illustration, rendering, modeling and so much more. It's hard to choose what you really want to be in this industry. I feel like Barry Benson dfklgjdflkjg

I don't know what I'm gonna do anymore. There's gotta be a solution to this but I just can't figure it out. I don't want to give up my youtube channel so I can be an animator. I don't want to give up a safer, quiet countryside house to be able to survive financially. Am I even willing or able to move countries? Is my career more important than friends and family?

I think I'm thinking too much about everything. I should start small. Move less than an hour away first and move in with roommates to get a feel for independence instead of jumping into it immediately. Get a job at a small time company, maybe not for what I want at first, but it'll get me some experience and maybe I'll learn some things along the way to understand where I can go next. Take it slow and don't panic too much over trying to be a young big shot. Take things one day at a time? That's my current goal, I suppose.

So you know... to answer your question... why did I switch to youtube for a current career? Because of a classic existential & career crisis in my 20s. Will I ever go back to 3D animation? Maybe. Maybe one day.

[mighettoraviart813]

Dr. Veena Dubal's White Paper

I've had the great pleasure of working with Dr. Veena Dubal over the past couple years since Prop 22 was announced. It was before we met that I first read her White Paper. It is her work that drew me to Rideshare Drivers United. When I met her a year later at Hastings College, she helped myself and about fifty other drivers embark on our Wage Claim Campaign. This eventually would result in over 5,000 drivers in California filing wage claims.

As we wait for the Labor Commission and now the Attorney General to resolve our case, Dr. Veena Dubal's White Paper is still as relevant as ever. Taxi drivers have been faced with bankruptcy and foreclosure without the safety nets described and no thanks to the global pandemic. Drivers still express concerns as to whether big unions can effectively represent and defend them. They wonder if their best interests will ever be negotiated. It seems that the companies, Uber and Lyft, have only been willing to negotiate a living wage for drivers if they agree to remain independent contractors indefinitely, as we've seen in Washington State.

Regardless, Uber and Lyft still control every aspect of the work. So-called independent contractors across these Technology Network Companies (TNCs) have little to no access to information about the 'contracts' they commit to. Drivers typically don't know where a ride will take them until the customer is sitting in their car. Should a driver wish to cancel based on undesirable terms, they're likely to suffer an awkward confrontation at the very least. Not only that, they face threats of deactivation if they don't achieve high 'acceptance rates'. So it seems Uber and Lyft drivers don't have much independence at all. They are forced to work during peak hours (late at night and during the wee hours of the morning) and during holidays for any chance at survival, given that there is no compensation for idle time.

Until the constitutionality of Prop 22 is determined at the state level, drivers continue to be faced with more and more pay cuts with no protections. Drivers continue to die at the wheel leaving families penniless without the benefit of Worker's Compensation. They are frivolously deactivated, often on the whim of a disgruntled passenger who may make false accusations when required to wear a mask. Drivers can't afford to properly maintain their vehicles saddled with fronting the expense of billionaires' fleet. Additionally, the state of California continues to be robbed of payroll taxes and unemployment insurance. Uber and Lyft continue to capitalize on the lack of regulation in TNCs, which continues to threaten the safety and livelihood of the general public.

[heatherhasbetterthingstodo]

Letter 21 of 22

February 2, 2022

Dear Premier Stefanson,

It has been twenty (20) days since I sent correspondence with feedback that was expressly solicited when you said on January 12th that you "will be taking advice from other Manitobans…moving forward." I have yet to receive any acknowledgement that my advice is going to be taken into consideration (or that it's even been received); therefore, this email - with additional commentary - will be re-sent to you and a few other key decision-makers every day until policy changes in Manitoba to adequately address my concerns and/or you respond to me personally.

The only additional thing I would like to share today was something that Bartley Kives wrote in an article published yesterday entitled, "After a deadly pandemic January, Manitoba ponders what comes next." At the very end, he wrote: "When officials say we have to live with the virus, they don't mean we have to live with infection. They mean we have to at least try to avoid the virus whenever possible and more importantly, do whatever it takes to avoid passing it on." Exactly this. "Living with" the coronavirus will need to involve continuing to keep health orders in place for an indefinite amount of time - perhaps even insisting on higher standards for those not-yet-vaccinated individuals who are attempting to wait out the current restrictions without consequence. Especially with Canada being on the world stage this week for all the wrong reasons, this is a critical juncture for all provincial governments to make major decisions that will curb this wave and prevent whatever one(s) will be next. Manitobans are all wondering what you are going to do, because we ourselves who are perseverantly striving to prevent the spread have no power to effect substantive change without strong health orders in place to appropriately target those who remain selfishly obdurate.

Sincerely, X

p.s. The schools are closed again today. That's six days out of thirteen of in-person classes that have been cancelled due to weather. Right now, nature is actually doing 46% more to actively protect children, parents, teachers and staff than MB Gov.

------

Dear Premier Stefanson et al,

Greetings from Southern Manitoba. In light of the comments made at yesterday's press conference (i.e. January 12, 2022) - where it was specifically stated that the provincial government "will be taking advice from other Manitobans as well moving forward" - I would like to take this statement seriously/literally and provide you with some feedback from a deeply concerned resident of the Rural Municipality of Hanover. While the term "stakeholders" was likely used to refer primarily to business owners, I think it's vital to point out what should be obvious: all residents/citizens collectively are the most significant stakeholders in Manitoba, and if these voices - like my own - are not being listened to, what this conveys is that there is some serious misgovernance taking place (which undermines the democratic purpose/process of politicians acting on behalf of those who they are supposed to represent). Obviously, I don't expect a response, since it's clear that leaders in the current administration aren't even willing to answer direct questions from official members of the press. But if any confidence in this current government has any hope of being restored, I would appreciate if this correspondence was at the very least passed along to the people to whom it's addressed. Accordingly, at this time I would like to name four different issues: suppressing public health recommendations, the provincial response level, forced back to school, and expanding the proof of vaccination.

First, it was painfully obvious at yesterday's press conference that the government was indeed advised by its own public health division that stricter measures were needed in order to protect all Manitobans. Instead, what we saw was a blatant disregard of such recommendations in favour of a what was termed a "balanced" approach, which is clearly no longer concerned at all with "containing" the spread of Covid-19 but resigned to allow the entire population to contract the virus that some of us have been trying extremely hard to fight against these past two years. We're only in this position now - of supposedly needing to accept that "Covid is here to stay" - because the provincial response to the pandemic has ever tended to be reactive (as opposed to proactive) and has not listened to expertise from medical professionals soon enough to "mitigate" the collateral damage of human lives that we've seen. Granted - this is a worldwide problem and not a shortcoming that's specific to Manitoba; however, this does not release us from the responsibility to do our utmost to keep people safe - no matter the cost. Sure, listen to multiple sources. But if it's a veritable issue of life/death or health/illness, this alone trumps any political, economic, or religious interests. Therefore, if public health and/or medical experts are telling the government anything that has relevance to decisions that are being made at the provincial level, this ought to be transparently disclosed and must factor into policies that are enacted to protect the well-being of those who call Manitoba home.

Second, it was a common refrain the last few press conferences that Manitoba has had more strict measures in place than the other provinces across Canada (as some kind of justification/rationalization for not stepping up the current response level). To be perfectly honest, regardless of what our neighbours to the West, East, or South are doing, what matters above all else is to hold to a higher standard than those whose response has been subpar. In other words, the province of Manitoba should be seeking to be a leader nationally and globally in its championing of health and safety (instead of a follower, or a pariah). As it stands, we currently have the worst rate of active Covid-19 cases in Canada (again), and the province's response is to keep the response level at Orange - even though case numbers are worse than they have ever been throughout the entire pandemic. This is completely irresponsible and unacceptable. The province's response level should have been at Red long ago - with stay-at-home orders for all not-yet-vaccinated people (except for essentials), no guests at all for households that have any unvaccinated individuals, no special treatment for religious organizations, expanded and consistent enforcement of public health orders, etc. What's more, what Canada needs is a more unified approach, because what's happened to date - with each province essentially acting in isolation - is not working. Similar to the federal mandate for all civil servants to be vaccinated, a more unified partnership/coordination across provinces and territories to implement public health measure compliance is necessary to have any hope of preventing and containing future waves of the virus.

Third, this rhetoric of schools being "last to close, first to open" has to stop. Obviously no one wants schools to be closed since in-person learning spaces are inarguably preferable to online/virtual formats for most students. The reality of the capitalistic world that we occupy is that most people are reliant on children being in school so that parents/caregivers can work. And yet, by compelling students, staff and teachers to attend classes at an unsafe time during a global epidemic - without ensuring sufficient access to scientifically proven medical-grade masks for all, not substantially upgrading ventilation, not allowing time for students to get their second dose before restarting classes, etc - is nothing less than willing endangerment of human life. My kids, for example, got their first dose of the vaccine on the very first day they were eligible (i.e. November 28th); however, with the 8-week period that they are supposed to wait until their next vaccine appointment, the earliest we could make a booking was January 23rd (which we have done). Based on the "Severe Outcomes by Vaccination Status" graphs shown in the press conference, two doses provides significantly more protection than one (with any number of doses being preferrable to zero). That being said, there is no way that we are sending our children back to school before they have the opportunity to receive their second shot. Fortunately, we have the flexibility to do this as a family. But what about the large number of families who have no other option than to send their children back to school, or for those whose employment is school-based (who themselves have no option to strike because of the collective bargaining agreement)? Thus, it's crucial that the province delays the start of in-class learning until this present wave peaks and/or the province can adequately demonstrate that safety measures have in fact been systematically, expansively and verifiably increased at each school across every school division. Alternatively, distance options should at least be provided for families who have been advised to "look after themselves."

Finally, we already have a reliable system in place to ensure that the most people in public spaces are vaccinated, but it has not be expanded to its full potential. Only a vocal minority of Manitobans have expressed disagreement with proof of vaccination, so this should not prevent its continued use long-term. After all, there should be a lasting benefit for those who have faithfully abided by the province's strong recommendation to be vaccinated (and enduring consequences for obstinance). Also - if the province actually believes in vaccines as an important measure to contend with the Coronavirus (i.e. something "we're going to need to learn to live with…in the longer term"), then Manitoba seriously needs to consider implementing a vaccine mandate for all citizens and permanent residents, as well as requiring vaccines as a condition of attending public schools. Requirement is proven to yield more results than recommendation, and while there will always be those who stand in opposition, the cost-benefit of safeguarding life for all outweighs the preferences of individuals…otherwise, we wouldn't have laws that protect each other from harm.

All this to say, when it's communicated to us that, "it's up to Manitobans to look after themselves," what this signals is resignation and abdicating responsibility. That's not what we need from elected officials. We need you to set an example for us to follow; to inspire us to do better; to make hard decisions that will cost financial and political supporters; to answer questions honestly when asked directly; to keep calm and carry on with all of the things. That is the way out of the pandemic: not giving up.

Sincerely, X

p.s. Next time when N95 or medical grade masks are provided for Manitobans - which we as a family did not receive - please consider doing so at a location where there's more access for everyone, such as a Canada Post office. Not every community has a Liquor Mart, but even the smallest town has a post office (or is proximate to one).

[rosalies-rage]

folklore x Twilight: An Analysis

folklore's lyrics match Twilight uncannily well and here’s proof! 

my tears ricochet - Rosalie

We gather here, we line up, weepin' in a sunlit room And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you 'Til my dying day I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And you're the hero flying around, saving face And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring You know I didn't want to have to haunt you But what a ghostly scene You wear the same jewels that I gave you As you bury me

And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want, just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones And I still talk to you (When I'm screaming at the sky) And when you can't sleep at night (You hear my stolen lullabies)

Rosalie would sing this to her murderer/fiancé at her funeral as he goes around being the ‘hero’ and ‘saving face’. She’s ‘screaming at the sky’ because he has stolen the one thing she really wanted from her ‘anywhere I want, just not home’. Even though she loved him ‘til [her] dying day’, she can never forgive and has no choice but to haunt him.

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exile - Edward in New Moon

I think I’ve seen this film before And I didn’t like the ending You’re not my homeland anymore So what am I defending now? You were my town, now I’m in exile seein’ you out We always walked a very thin line You didn’t even hear me out (You didn’t even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) All this time I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind)

Edward leaves in New Moon because he believes he and his world are too dangerous for Bella, exiling himself indefinitely. They had ‘always walked a very thin line’ as he tried to be with her without harming her, and he literally ‘never learned to read [her] mind’. Now he’s left and can’t do what he wanted to do, i.e protect her (’what am I defending now?’).

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august - Jacob

Salt air, and the rust on your door I never needed anything more Whispers of “Are you sure?” “Never have I ever before”

Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Canceled plans just in case you'd call And say, "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love and saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose You weren't mine to lose, no

Your back beneath the sun Wishin' I could write my name on it Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinkin' I had you

Bella and Jacob start spending time together in the ‘salt air’ by La Push beach fixing beaten-up motorbikes (’rust’). Jacob knows Bella isn’t interested in him but lives in hope (’to live for the hope of it all’) and by the time the Cullens come back he’s convinced he could win Bella’s loyalties (’I remember thinkin’ I had you’). It doesn’t take place in summer, but it is a brief, intense fling that lifts Bella from her Edward-induced winter, and Bella calls Jacob her personal ‘sun’. In the end, though, Bella tells Jacob that there was never really a choice between him and Edward; it was always going to be Edward (’You weren’t mine to lose’). 

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invisible string - Alice & Jasper

And isn't it just so pretty to think All along there was some Invisible string Tying you to me?

Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire Chains around my demons Wool to brave the seasons One single thread of gold Tied me to you

Alice woke up as a vampire with no memory of her past - all she had was her psychic abilities, which were an ‘invisible string’ leading her directly to Jasper. On Jasper’s side, he was living a brutal life training newborn armies until Alice found him and ‘wrapped all of [his] past mistakes in barbed wire’, putting ‘chains around his demons’ and leading him to a better life. You could also interpret it as his journey to chaining his inner monster that wants to kill humans when he goes to live with the Cullens.

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epiphany - Carlisle

Something med school did not cover Someone's daughter, someone's mother Holds your hand through plastic now "Doc, I think she's crashing out" And some things you just can't speak about

Only twenty minutes to sleep But you dream of some epiphany Just one single glimpse of relief To make some sense of what you've seen

This song describes the experience of medical staff during the COVID-19 pandemic, and Carlisle was a doctor during the last major pandemic (Spanish Flu in 1918), which is where he turned Edward. A religious man, he searches for an ‘epiphany’ from God while he grapples with the decision to consign another person to a life of vampirism and tries to understand whether or not he still has a soul.

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mad woman - Rosalie

Do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn? Does she smile? Or does she mouth, "Fuck you forever"? And there's nothing like a mad woman What a shame she went mad No one likes a mad woman You made her like that And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out And you find something to wrap your noose around

They say “move on” but you know I won’t

I'm taking my time, taking my time 'Cause you took everything from me

Rosalie is filled with anger and bitterness over her murder. She’s cast in a bad light particularly because she’s an angry, ‘mad woman’ but she explains that her murderers ‘made her like that’ when they ‘took everything from [her]’, and in return she ‘[took her] time’ when killing them to make sure they knew she was coming.

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cardigan - Bella on Jacob

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan, under someone’s bed  You put me on and said I was your favorite  You drew stars around my scars But now I’m bleedin’

Bella was destroyed after Edward left, feeling that he’d taken most of her with him and was just discarded like an unwanted toy (’I felt like I was an old cardigan, under someone’s bed’). Then she started hanging out with Jacob and his friendship (’I was your favorite’) started to heal - or at least disguise - the hole in her chest (’You drew stars around my scars’). But then he left, too, when the werewolf transformation happened, which left her ‘bleeding’. It turned out she wasn’t really healed, she’d just been papering over the gap with Jacob’s love.

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illicit affairs - Edward & Bella as tragic fated lovers

Tell yourself you can always stop What started in beautiful rooms  Ends in meetings in parking lots It’s born from just one single glance but it dies and it dies and it dies A million little times 

Leave no trace behind, like they don’t even exist

When Edward first becomes enamored with Bella and wants to get closer to her, he convinces himself he can always stop - but he can’t. The more time he spends with her, the more doomed he is. When Bella gets hurt because of him, first in Twilight and then in New Moon, he disappears in hopes of keeping her safe and hides all the presents he gave her (’leave no trace behind’). 

And you wanna scream Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby" Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else Don't call me "kid," don't call me "baby" Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

A dwindling mercurial high A drug that only worked the first few hundred times

And you know damn well For you, I would ruin myself A million little times

This part is Bella’s response. When he left, he took away this entire paranormal world he’d introduced her to (‘You taught me a secret language I can’t speak with anyone else’), leaving her to think she’s gone insane because not only has she lost the love of her life, all traces of an entire extra world have disappeared. She wants him to stop patronising her by saying she’ll move on like mortals do (’Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby, look at this godforsaken mess that you made me’). Desperate to get some sense that he’s still there, she starts doing risky stunts like motorbike racing and jumping off a cliff (’A dwindling mercurial high’). Like she told him in the meadow scene in the first book, she is willing to die for him, and we see in New Moon that he feels the same way (‘you know damn well / For you I would ruin myself, a million little times’). The only way for them to stay apart would’ve been to never meet in the first place.

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seven - Rosalie on her childhood friend Vera

Please picture me in the trees I hit my peak at seven Feet in the swing over the creek I was too scared to jump in But I, I was high in the sky With Pennsylvania under me Are there still beautiful things? Sweet tea in the summer Cross your heart, won't tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you Your braids like a pattern Love you to the Moon and to Saturn Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long

Before I learned civility I used to scream ferociously Any time I wanted

Rosalie fondly recalls her human life and her best friend Vera, who had the normal life she never got. This ‘love lasts so long’ even though Vera is dead by now because Rosalie still remembers her, even if her human memories are fuzzy and she can’t necessarily ‘recall [her] face’. Also, Rosalie was always valued only for her beauty, but maybe she ‘hit [her] peak at seven’ because her beauty hadn’t yet started overshadowing her personhood and she was still able to ‘scream ferociously’ at that age instead of being the girl and young woman who had to learn ‘civility’ and be married off to a rich man.

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hoax - Bella in New Moon

My only one My smoking gun My eclipsed sun This has broken me down My twisted knife My sleepless night My winless fight This has frozen my ground Stood on the cliffside screaming, "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue but you No other sadness in the world would do  My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire  You know I left a part of me back in New York You knew the hero died so what's the movie for? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart

Bella’s ‘eclipsed sun’ has disappeared and left her ‘broken’, ‘sleepless’ and believing she has no way to win him back. She literally goes and stands on a ‘cliffside’ before jumping off just to see a hallucination of his face - Edward, a mythical creature, is the ‘only hoax she believes in’. Even though he’s hurt her and broken her heart, she ‘don’t want no other shade of blue but you’. He thinks he’s saving her from harm by leaving, but the scar from James still bothers her, i.e. his leaving cannot protect her as the damage has been done (’You know it still hurts underneath my scars’) and now Edward has just added emotional scars that ‘pulled [her] apart’ and left a gaping hole in her chest.

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peace - Edward & Bella in Breaking Dawn

I never had the courage of my convictions As long as danger is near And it’s just around the corner darlin Coz it lives in me No, I could never give you peace

Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

Throughout the series, Edward has been afraid to get too close to Bella for fear of hurting her (’danger is near’, ‘it lives in me’). Now he finally has to accept that she’s not going anywhere and value her choice. Even after he’s no longer a threat to her directly, their life is full of challenges like the Volturi. It’s impossible to guarantee her safety, and she doesn’t want him to - she wants to be in his world as an equal. He comes to terms with the fact that it’s okay if he can ‘never give [her] peace’.

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[theculturedmarxist]

Latin America

The World Socialist Web Site invites workers and other readers to contribute to this regular feature

Chilean health care workers launch strike

Chilean health care workers went on strike Nov. 23 demanding more resources with which to fight the COVID-19 pandemic.

The National Federation of Health Workers demand that a meager increase of 8,000 pesos per capita be budgeted for basic health (US$10.40) have been rejected. “Following 8 months of negotiations, three national mobilizations, and two one-day strikes, we have decided to strike for an indefinite amount of time,” declared a union spokesperson.

Federation president Patricia Valderas declared that the strike would last until the union receives a “decent” response to their requests. “We will not compromise our demands; 80 percent of the population depends on the public health system; we need supplies and resources.” She also indicated that health workers are paid little and risk becoming infected with the coronavirus, victims of the lack of resources and low wages. Valderas also noted that 30,000 health workers have been infected with COVID-19 due to overcrowded hospitals and clinics alongside an increase in deaths.

Meanwhile, strikes and protests continue across Chile. At issue is the defense of basic rights. As a first step workers and youth are demanding that President Sebastian Piñera resign. Mobilizations are also taking place demanding freedom for political prisoners and for all those swept up by the police during months of protests.

Rally by Ecuadorean hospital cleaners

Ecuador public hospital cleaning workers rallied in Quito, demanding back pay. About 600 workers employed as cleaners at public hospitals rallied on Thursday demanding that the government pay them for 8 months of back salaries they are owed.

The demonstrators rallied at the Finance Ministry, carrying signs and chanting their demands for their back pay. The ministry, responsible for the payment of these back wages, has imposed bureaucratic administrative barriers to the payments of the arrears.

Paraguay farmers and farm workers demand land reform

About 7,000 small farmers and landless farm workers from across Paraguay protested last Tuesday in Asunción, Paraguay’s capital city, demanding that the government carry out a long stalled land reform.

The demonstrators are calling on the Supreme Court to redistribute land “in the hands of very few wealthy landowners.”

In addition, the demonstrators are demanding that the government carry out other promises, such as: the cancellation of debts, land for the landless, and subsidies for farmers affected by an ongoing drought.

Paraguayan president Mario Abdo Benitez opposes the requests, vaguely claiming that farmers and farm workers are being “manipulated.”

Demonstrations in Peru demand hike in education budget

Education workers in Peru demonstrated in Lima and other cities on Tuesday and Wednesday. The teachers are demanding that six percent of Peru’s gross domestic product be apportioned to education.

Joining them at the Lima protest were employees from several local colleges.

In the cities of Puno and Tacna they were joined by education administrative employees and by construction workers, who are also calling for a new constitution.

Strike by Nuevo León, Mexico teachers

A strike, of indefinite duration, began on Nov. 25 by teachers in the state of Nuevo León demanding back wages. The 5,000 strikers represent 144 regular high schools and 9 night high schools.

District 21 of SNTE union, which represents education workers in Nuevo León, indicated that the government has ignored teachers’ demands over several weeks.

State authorities have responded to the strike with threats and repressive measures against all those that publicly oppose their current working conditions, unemployment and pay delays. The response includes layoffs and denying contracts for teachers, secretaries and other education workers.

The SNTE also reported that, since online instruction began, many of the education workers have not been called back to their posts. This is not just an issue of lack of respect, said the SNTE: the non-payment of wages and lack of employment affects the well-being of teachers’ families, it also bars them and their families from the public health services amidst the deadly COVID-19 pandemic.

San Salvador, Argentina transit workers on strike

On Friday, Nov. 27, over 500 striking public transit workers marched in San Salvador de Jujuy, capital of Jujuy Province in Northwestern Argentina, demanding the payment of back wages.

The protest took place on the fourth day of a transit strike. The transit workers walked out in defiance of a conciliatory arbitration ruling from the labor ministry. The public transit companies have resisted paying back wages. Instead they are lobbying for transit fare increases and government subsidies.

United StatesTacoma, Washington health care workers strike over PPE and staffing

Over 100 doctors, physician assistants and nurse practitioners who work at 20 clinics operated by the MultiCare health system in the Tacoma, Washington, area carried through a two-day strike starting Nov. 23, protesting a lack of essential protective equipment, excessive hours and patient overload. In particular, the workers have been demanding management provide secure and tight-fitting N95 masks, as opposed to the loose-fitting surgical masks that do not sufficiently protect against aerosolized coronavirus.

The company has forbidden doctors from bringing personal N95 masks in to work. And to add further insult, MultiCare announced as the strike unfolded that it would provide increased access to N95 masks to other workers in its system, but not to striking clinic workers.

The Union of American Physicians and Dentists (UAPD) called the “selective distribution discriminatory.” The UAPD charges, “MultiCare’s assembly-line approach and emphasis on profits poses a serious public health threat, especially as COVID-19 cases spike throughout the region.”

Matthew Carey, a striking physician assistant, came down with the virus after the first day of picketing. He says he sees between 15 and 30 COVID-suspected cases on a daily basis.

Meanwhile, MultiCare was hit by a coronavirus outbreak at its Auburn Medical Center that killed two patients. During the period Nov. 5–20, over a dozen patients contracted the infection while 12 workers tested positive.

MultiCare has sought to sidestep the strikers’ demands concerning masks by claiming its providers “have adequate PPE.” The Centers for Disease Control loophole calls N95 respirators a “preferred” PPE, but labels other lose-fitting face masks as an “acceptable alternative.”

ACLU files suit against Hasting, Nebraska meatpacker for failure to take measures to protect workers against COVID-19

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) filed a federal lawsuit Nov. 23 against the meatpacking plant Noah’s Ark Processors in Hasting, Nebraska, charging the company with a “shocking indifference to its employees and the community by failing to take common-sense steps to protect them from the spread of COVID-19.” The suit represents a number of workers from the plant.

The ACLU said Noah’s Ark made no effort to socially distance the more than 300 workers in the plant or replace soiled facemasks. The company has not installed plexiglass dividers, checked employees’ temperatures upon arrival to the plant or established higher sanitation precautions in the plant. Workers who contracted COVID-19 were pressured to continue working, despite visible coronavirus symptoms.

CanadaLabour board forces end to Hydro-Quebec overtime ban

A provincial labour tribunal ruled last week that the refusal of workers at the Bersimis hydroelectric generating station and dam to perform evening and weekend overtime was illegal. The workers at the complex 300 kilometers northeast of Quebec City had refused overtime assignments since Nov. 4. Workers had complained of the grueling working conditions, but Hydro-Quebec management merely told the court that the overtime refusals would “affect production.” This was enough for the tribunal to outlaw the job action.

Hydro-Quebec is the fourth largest producer of hydroelectric power in the world. As a state-owned crown corporation it employs 20,000 workers across the province. It annually provides at least $2.3 billion in dividends to its sole shareholder—the Government of Quebec—which also sets and enforces the labour regulations that the Bersimis workers revolted against.

[purplesurveys]

1177

survey by joybucket

Have you _____ during this pandemic?

Worn a mask? I mean, of course. I put one on even when I’m only picking up deliveries from my doorstep.

got tested for coronavirus? Never. I also hope I’ll never have to go through this, I don’t want a stick up my nose and throat D:

known someone who died from the virus? Personally? Too many people at this point. 

gotten the COVID vaccine? Not yet, but I have many relatives who’ve already gotten theirs, my mom and grandmother included, so at least. I know my employer has a plan in place over the next few weeks or months, so I’m just currently waiting for updates on their end.

started a new hobby? Yeah, I started on embroidery late last year. I haven’t been able to keep it up, but I’m still very much interested and want to go back to it soon. I also plan on getting one or two new Klaypel kits so I can finally replace and throw out the ones Gabie gave to me as gifts.

hated being stuck at home? Yeah, especially during the start when there seemed to be no end in sight. When they heightened quarantine protocols again earlier this month, that also made me feel aggravated about being stuck at home indefinitely since I had already started going out on weekends for self-dates.

worn a mask someone made for you? No one has made a mask for me, but one of my uncles got me a supply of a certain kind of face mask that I didn’t initially use.

sewn your own mask? No.

purchased masks at the store? Not me personally, but my dad regularly buys a supply for the family to use.

purchased a KN95 or N95 mask? Again, not me. But we regularly have a stock at home, along with the blue surgical face masks.

complimented someone on their mask? I don’t think so. I barely pay attention especially towards mask designs.

protested mask-wearing? ????? My name’s not Karen.

complained on Facebook? Nothing mask-related, but I have definitely complained about the government’s negligence and lack of proactivity about this entire situation.

read a book? I started on Midnight Sun which my parents got for me, but I never finished it. I got busy immediately the week after since I got accepted into my internship, and it was also because I was dealing with my breakup and could not focus enough to read for more than 5 minutes.

had an event canceled you had been looking forward to? My college graduation, which I’ll forever stay bitter about.

stocked up on toilet paper? I don’t think so. My parents didn’t believe in panic-buying.

been to the store when it was crowded? I do remember the mall being packed when I went last-minute Christmas shopping. Not to a crazy extent, but there was still quite a number of people.

been to the store when the toilet paper aisle was empty? N/A. We don’t have toilet paper aisles, but all stores have hand sanitizers and temperature checks by their entrance.

lost your job? I didn’t have a job before the pandemic because I had still been a student when everything started.

worked from home? Yup, and still on an WFH arrangement until now.

still had to go to work? I’ve had to go two times, but that was because it was absolutely necessary to go to the office to get the work done. My employer is pretty strict about this anyway and if something could be done at home, they’d decline the request.

went to a protest at your state's capital building? Well we don’t have states so this isn’t really relevant to me. Should a credible org plan a protest against the government though, I’d be interested in going.

watched the news for updates on the virus? We keep the TV on during dinner, at which time the news is always on. Whether I want to or not, I always get updates on the Covid situation in the country.

wondered if you had covid? Yeah, when I got extremely sick in May last year.

not left the house for a week? Way more than a week.

watched YouTube videos? YouTube is pretty much a part of my daily routine, with or without the virus.

spent a whole day watching movies? I’ve only watched one movie since the beginning of the pandemic.

cleaned your house from top to bottom? Not me, but my mom.

ordered something online? Too much crap.

ordered a pizza? I’ve gotten pizza a few times for my family, yeah. I remember ordering from Pizza Hut, Motorino, and most recently, Yellow Cab.

prayed to God?

completely forgotten a holiday that you normally celebrate? Nah, I usually remember when holidays are because that means I get a day off hahaha.

voted in an election? There haven’t been any elections that have taken place since the start of the pandemic.

gotten to know your neighbors? Somewhat. I only say hi to them and greet them a good morning/afternoon when I walk the dogs, but I don’t initiate conversations.

sanitized everything in your home? We always do this, especially when a package arrives for someone in the family.

wrote someone a letter? Started one but never finished because I soon realized it wouldn’t be worth it.

wished this pandemic were over? Don’t we all?

been surprised this pandemic has lasted so long? Yeah, I definitely thought things would be normal by now.

worried about catching the virus? I think the worry exists for everyone. I just wouldn’t say I’ve ever gotten super anxious and panicky about it. I feel pretty resigned at this point and just want everything to be over, so I can finally have the life I was meant to have back.

stayed home because you didn't want to catch the virus? That, and because I was required to stay home to begin with.

been to church? We watch a service on YouTube every Sunday morning.

watched an online church service? ^ Yeah, that’s what I meant haha oops.

been stopped by a police officer? No, but there was one time I was cleaning up Cooper’s tray and there happened to be a village guard cycling by our street, and he just kindly reminded me to put on a mask or shield since I had forgotten to do it.

seen a lot of police cars patrolling the area? No. I would definitely be pissed off if this happened - especially in a residential subdivision - and share a pic on social media to alert everyone about the unnecessary mess that is the police.

had someone cough on you out in public? No. But again, this would also piss me off and I wouldn’t hesitate to confront the asshole who would do something like that.

has someone stand less than six feet away from you while waiting in line? Always. Some people here can still be unbelievably stubborn.

had to use an inhaler? Never needed one.

been to the doctor? Yeah, to have my blood and urine tests examined.

had increased asthma and/or allergy symptoms? I have neither.

felt like you were fighting a virus? Like I said, I got a bad fever sometime last year. Even though I didn’t show any of the common Covid symptoms (e.g. I had wet cough instead of a dry cough), I felt as if I was rotting away lmao. I could barely stand up and I felt like fainting the second I would raise my head.

been diagnosed with the coronavirus? No.

felt lonely? It’s natural.

went somewhere with a friend? Just a couple of times. I went to UPTC with Andi at the start of the year, then back in Feb I went to Perfy’s with several friends, well aware of our ignorance but badly craving for a sense of normalcy for even just a night.

attended an online event? BANG BANG COOOOOOOOOON. Best 8 hours of my life during the pandemic thus far.

had a business in your area close down? Like the people I know who’ve died from the virus, too many.

received a stimulus check? Hasn’t happened.

received food stamps? No, and I don’t think we have that system in place here. The government just lets the hungry go hungrier.

applied for disability? No, not applicable.

applied for food assistance? No, thankfully we haven’t reached this point.

visited a food pantry? ^

had a fever? Just back in May. Hasn’t happened again since.

believed a conspiracy theory about the virus? Cringe, no.

had to take online classes? When the whole world was still at a loss on how to handle a global pandemic, aka early March, I briefly took Zoom sessions for some of my classes. But it proved to be difficult what with many students struggling with internet connections or being stuck somewhere without their school supplies, so my university canceled the sem altogether not long after and gave everyone general passing grades.

ate at a restaurant? I did a few times. I frequented coffee shops rather than restaurants, though.

walked through a drive-thru? I’ve...driven through a drive-thru, but not walk.

had your mask fog up your glasses? Every damn time I get out of the car, hahaha.

had to go to the hospital because of covid? Nope, not for myself or for someone else.

had to go to the hospital for a different reason? For my fever.

used hand sanitizer? At least once a day.

felt encouraged, joyful, or blessed? Now, especially. Things are starting to look up, at least for my own life.

[corona-extra-newsletter]

3/16/20 corona extra: cracking open cold covid facts

Announcements & Thank Yous

Thank you to everyone who’s messaged me or sent asks! Specific thanks go to:

@hoothootmotherf-ckers​ for checking my math on California

@ainwesley for sending me a source for more up to date information about Norway

@sister-cna-reader​ for sending me a source for Washington State and for suggesting I put closure information in here

Several people for correcting the misinformation I had about Vietnamese tests being ~1 hour, this is not true unfortunately. I apologize for the mistake and will keep you posted on testing developments as they occur.

@halcyonhowl​ for sending me sources and tips on North Carolina

Twitter users @molly0xFFF and @goblinartificer for helping me with the Wordpress site

Wordpress staff for support

To several other anons for suggesting I include closure/group restriction information, positive news of the day, and numbers of recovered patients. I’ve implemented all of these as much as possible.

If you have reliable information from a good source that I don’t seem to have, please shoot me a message/ask/pigeon!

Places now included in the newsletter are: Montana, Vermont, Delaware, Maryland, Washington, DC, Greece, North Carolina, South Carolina, Connecticut, Alabama, Tennessee, Arizona, Ireland, and Switzerland. Please send an ask or a message if you would like a place included!

There is now good news at the end of the newsletter because this is a lot, all the time. Please take care of your mental health. I am being one with the numbers so you don’t have to follow every minute, panic-inducing development. Also, there is good news related to the pandemic!

I have started a website for the newsletter, which I may be able to update in real-time? Uncertain. At the very least it’ll be a mirror of the tumblr content so you can skip around and not be stuck in scrolling hell since these are all mega chonky. Find it at coronaextranewsletter.com. If you know me from fandom, please be chill about my meatspace identity. Please.

Asks are now on for this blog, which should help things. Please send asks to this blog in the future, thank you!

Just The Numbers

Case numbers

Total cases: 167,511 (13,903 new)

Total deaths: 6,606 (862 new)

Mortality rate: 3.9%

China: 81,077 (29 new) cases, 3,218 deaths (14 new)

Mortality rate: 3.97%

Excluding China: 86,434 cases (13,874 new) and 3388 deaths (848 new)

151 countries/territories reporting cases, 4 are new today including: Uzbekistan (4), Uruguay (4), Rwanda (5), and Seychelles (2)

Rwanda is confirming local transmission at this time

Italy is reporting over 24,000 cases (3500 new) with over 1800 deaths

Iran is reporting approx 15,000 cases with over 800 deaths

South Korea, Spain, and Germany are reporting over 5,000 cases

SK reports 75 deaths/8236 cases

Spain reports 288 deaths/7753 cases

Germany reports 12 deaths/4838 cases

International/General News

Please stop buying toilet paper unless you are actively out of toilet paper. My butt thanks you in advance.

Vaccine testing began today in Seattle, Washington. This is the first phase of vaccine testing, where healthy volunteers take the vaccine to make sure it is safe.

The World Health Organization will stop separating Chinese cases as today is the first day that cases outside China outstripped cases inside China

France is now on lockdown

We are seeing the difference that social distancing can make in this epidemic: look at the difference between European countries that have and have not shut down.

Virology Corner

Today’s topic is recovery from COVID-19: how do we know that you’re recovered and that you’re no longer shedding the virus?

We know from Chinese studies that in people who recover clinically (i.e. when they stop feeling like death’s ass) they can shed virus for up to 20 days from the onset of symptoms. People who die shed virus until after they die.

Fortunately, we have a way of testing for active virus shedding: the same tests we use to detect viral genes at the start of an infection work to show that you are clear of infection!

This is super useful to know because we do not always test for cure in infectious diseases - for example, we don’t usually test flu patients for cure.

It’s pretty clear that when people have two negative tests separated by 24 hours, they are considered “recovered”. That’s the definition the WHO uses, and the one I will use here unless I specify otherwise.

Question Tuesday

Today’s question comes from @dasyuridae: “does the UK’s response make sense?”

HELL NO it does not

That’s the short answer

The long answer is that herd immunity works as a prevention strategy in certain types of infections, and this is not yet that kind of pandemic.

We use herd immunity to prevent against diseases when we have a vaccine for them. By immunizing everyone who can be immunized, we prevent those who cannot be immunized from getting and/or spreading the disease. This is essential to protecting people from things like measles and the flu.

If humans are the only host for a particular virus, we can even use herd immunity to totally delete the disease from planet earth. Ask smallpox. Oh wait. You can’t. We deleted it. (except for the highly secure samples in Russia and the USA, shh)

COVID-19 likely has a reservoir in animals so we can’t delete it, but once we have a vaccine, herd immunity will be awesome for preventing further outbreaks.

To have herd immunity now, likely upwards of 90% of the UK would need to get the virus and recover, thereby developing immunity. That is a bad idea because no health system can handle that.

A better way to do this is what most other countries are doing, mitigating spread by isolating affected people, offering lots of testing, and quarantining areas with lots of asymptomatic spread.

In conclusion, fuck Boris Johnson, he doesn’t understand how epidemiology works and that’s gonna hurt/kill a lot of people.

I have two elderly grandparents in the UK. Fuck Boris.

If you have questions, ask them and they’ll appear here in the next issue of corona extra!

Regional News (if you want somewhere added just let me know. Don’t be shy!! I highly recommend you just skip to your area if you don’t wanna be overwhelmed.)

Canada: last updated 3/16/20 at 9 AM EST

Total cases: 324 confirmed (+75), 17 presumed (+13), 1 death (3/9/20, no change), 5 recovered

Symptoms began for these cases between 1/15 and 3/13

13% of cases have required hospitalization (up from 12%)

74% (down from 79%) of cases are in travellers, and a further 6% in their close contacts

Affected provinces include: Alberta (56, +17), BC (73, +0), Manitoba (7, +3), New Brunswick (6, +4), Newfoundland and Labrador (1, +0), Nova Scotia (5, +2) Ontario (172, +69), PEI (1, +0), Québec (50, +9), and Saskatchewan (6, +4).

Totals here include confirmed and presumptive positives

4 cases in repatriated travellers (no change)

Restrictions/Closures:

No formal restrictions/closures at the federal level

Recommendation to avoid non-essential travel, particularly cruise ships

All international travelers directed to self-isolate for 14 days upon arrival

Alberta: last updated 3/15

56 cases, 17 new, 0 deaths

Community spread confirmed in Calgary

Restrictions/closures

K-12 schools and in-person post-secondary classes/training are closed

Licensed childcare facilities, out-of-school care programs, and preschools are closed indefinitely

British Columbia: last updated 3/14

73 cases, 9 new, 4 recovered, 1 death

Affected public health units include: Fraser, Interior, and Vancouver Coastal

Vancouver coastal has the most cases as far as I can tell

Clusters of infection have been reported at Lynn Valley Care Centre, Hollyburn House Retirement Residence, and Lions Gate Hospital (admin staff).

Manitoba: last updated 3/16 AM

7 cases, 3 new, no deaths

Visitor restrictions for hospitals are in effect

New Brunswick: last updated 3/16 1 PM

6 cases, 4 new on 3/15, no deaths

Affected areas include Zone 3

I don’t live in NB so I have no idea what this is beyond one of at least three zones

Schools are closed starting 3/16 for two weeks

Newfoundland & Labrador

1 case

Sorry that’s all the info I have

Nova Scotia

5 cases

Gatherings over 150 people are disallowed

Casinos are closed starting 3/16; VLTs are not allowed in bars

Childcare facilities are closed starting 3/17 through 4/3

Public schools are closed until 4/6

Long-term care facilities are closed to visitors until further notice

Ontario: last updated 3/16 at 10:30 AM local time

177 cases, 69 new, 5 recovered, no deaths

Affected public health units include: Durham (1), Halton (1), Hamilton (4), Niagara (1), Ottawa (3), Peel (4), Sudbury (1), Toronto (11), Wellington Dufferin Guelph (1), York (5)

Only cases from 3/16 on will be counted under here based on how the site works

P.E.I.: last updated 3/16 AM

1 case, in Queens County, connected to a cruise

Closures/restrictions

Libraries and community events are closed/canceled

Child care facilities are closed for two weeks starting 3/17

Public schools are closed until April 6

Québec: last updated 3/16 AM

50 cases, 9 new, no deaths

Affected regions include: Capitale Nationale (2, +0), Mauricie - Centre du Québec (3, +0), Estrie (3, +0), Montréal (18, +5), Chaudière-Appalaches (4, +1), Lanaudière (3, +1), Laurentides (3, +0), Montérégie (10, +1), and undetermined/outside Québec (4, +1).

State of health emergency as of 3/13

Closures/restrictions

Indoor gatherings of >250 people prohibited, many public buildings closed until further notice

Daycare/childcare facilities and all schools closed until 3/27

Elections scheduled for 3/15 have been rescheduled to after late April

Non-essential visits to hospitals and long-term care institutions are prohibited

Saskatchewan: last updated 3/15

6 cases

Sorry this is all I have right now

Greece: last updated 3/16 at 1:45 pm local time

Note: I do not speak Greek, and I therefore am struggling to find official data from somewhere more granular than the WHO. I’m sourcing most of this from the WHO and from Ekathimerini, but if you know where I can find better/more up to date info, please let me know. Thank you!

331 total cases, 141 new

4 deaths total (1 new on 3/15)

Restrictions/Closures:

All arrivals to the country are required to isolate for 14 days

Parliament has suspended all committee meetings and restricted each party to one MP in attendance at a time

Businesses are closed starting Wednesday 3/18, with the exception of gas stations, pharmacies, and groceries

Supermarkets are restricting the number of patrons to allow 1 person per 10 square meters

Ireland: last updated 3/15

169 total cases, 40 new, 2 total deaths

Deaths occurred on 3/11 and 3/14

Community transmission is confirmed

The following regional breakdown is available of the new cases: 25 eastern, 9 western, 6 southern

Restrictions/Closures

All pubs & bars are closed until March 29. House parties are strongly discouraged.

Schools, colleges, and childcare facilities are closed until March 29

Indoor gatherings of >100 people and outdoor gatherings >500 people are prohibited

State run cultural institutions are closed until further notice

The Netherlands: last updated 3/16 at 2 PM local time

I still do not speak Dutch, please please correct me if I get something wrong!

Seriously this is all run through Google Translate, I won’t take it personally

1413 confirmed cases, 24 deaths

278 new cases, 4 new deaths

Average age of decedents is 79, with a range from 59 to 94

Provinces affected include: Drenthe (16, +1), Flevoland (22, +3), Friesland (13, +3), Gelderland (135, +35), Groningen (10, +1), Limburg (149, +20), North Brabant (554, +108), North Holland (115, +25), Overijssel (36, +8), Utrecht (140, +31), South Holland (136, +26), and Zeeland (17, +1).

I think this is all of them based on a quick Wikipedia investigation?

There are 70 non-residents/unknown location patients

Restrictions/Closures

Schools, restaurants/bars, sports and fitness clubs, sex clubs, saunas, and childcare facilities are closed until April 6

Tae Bo is about to undergo a renaissance, I can feel it. Bring on the 80s outfits and the Jazzercise too!!

New Zealand: last updated 3/16 at 2 pm local time

8 confirmed cases, 2 probable cases

NO NEW CASES, YAY!!

The new patients from 3/15 are doing well and remain in quarantine; one was not hospitalized and the other has been released from hospital

Travel into and out of the country is restricted and those returning from overseas are asked to self-isolate for two weeks.

The Golden Princess has left port and the passenger in question tested negative.

Norway: last updated 3/16 at 8 pm local time

I still don’t speak Norwegian so if I screwed up lemme know

Everyone is still on lockdown, and apparently salty about being banned from their rural cabins 

1332 cases, 3 deaths

53 hospitalized, 11 critical

96 new cases during the 24h of March 15

359 cases acquired in Norway, 752 acquired outside of Norway, the rest are undetermined. Community spread is confirmed.

Locations where people became infected include Austria (513), Italy (148), Switzerland (18), UK (14), Spain (14), France (10), USA (7), Iran (5), Germany (5),  other countries with more than 3 cases (18), and other countries with less than 3 cases (58).

Breakdown of cases by area: Agder (87, +32), Innlandet (88, +16), Møre og Romsdal (20, +0), Nordland (11, +3), Oslo (292, +11), Rogaland (164, +37), Troms og Finnmark (23, +3), Trøndelag (74, +24), Vestfold og Telemark (69, nice, +21), Vestland (131, +13), and Viken (373, +95)

Yay no new cases in Møre og Romsdal!

Switzerland:  last updated 3/16 at 5:45 pm local time

Whole country is on lockdown as of 3/16: no entry or exit until further notice (maximum of 6 months), schools are closed until 4/19, all events are canceled, and all personal service establishments are closed.

1,680 confirmed cases

14 deaths

United Kingdom in general: Last updated 3/16 at 9 AM local time

Boris is still a stupid shit, surprise surprise.

Fuck Boris

He’s ~encouraging~ people to stay home, which is kind of laughable given the severity of the pandemic and how strict other countries are having to be

1,543 total cases (+12.4%), 152 are new today

55 total deaths, 20 new today

England

1,196 total cases, 97 new

Affected UTLAs with at least 10 cases are as follows: Hampshire (55), Kensington & Chelsea (43), Westminster (37), Southwark (33), Hertfordshire (29), Lambeth (26), Barnet (25), Surrey (25), Oxfordshire (23), Camden (22), Hammersmith & Fulham (21), Brent (20), Hackney & City of London (20), Wadsworth (20), Devon (20), Essex (20), Ealing (18), Greenwich (18), Lewisham (17), Haringey (16), Sheffield (15), Birmingham (15), Leeds (14), Harrow (14), Nottinghamshire (14), Hillingdon (13), Hounslow (12), Merton (12), Tower Hamlets (12), Buckinghamshire (12), Cambridgeshire (12), Derbyshire (12), Kent (12), Northamptonshire (12), Walsall (11), Wolverhampton (11), Bromley (11), Islington (11), Sutton (11), Nottingham (10), Brighton & Hove (10), Oldham (10), Barking & Dagenham (10), Cumbria (10)

As things continue to escalate I will figure out a better way to display this

Deaths are not being reported by the PHS but I will do my best to split these out in the next few editions using news reports etc. It will hopefully be included by the 3/18 edition but no promises? If you have a good source for deaths by county/area, please let me know.

Scotland: last updated 3/16 at 2 pm local time

171 cases, 18 new, 1 death

Affected health boards are as follows: Ayrshire and Arran (7, +1), Borders (7, +0), Fife (7, +0), Forth Valley (10, +0), Grampian (12, +0), Greater Glasgow and Clyde (44, +5), Highland (2, +0), Lanarkshire (20, +4), Lothian (29, +1), Shetland (15, +4), and Tayside (17, +2)

Clearly the ones I listed yesterday were not all of them because…

Newly affected health boards are as follows: Dumfries and Galloway (1)

Wales: last updated 3/16 at 11 am local time

124 cases, 30 new

1 death (3/16)

Affected areas include: Blaenau Gwent County (5, +1), Bridgend County (1, +0), Caerphilly County (14, +3), Carmarthenshire County (7, +0), Ceredigion County (1, +0), City & County of Swansea (23, +1), City of Cardiff (11, +3), Conwy County (1, +0), Flintshire County (1, +0), Isle of Anglesey (2, +1), Monmouthshire County (7, +2), Neath Port Talbot (11, +0), Newport City (14, +7), Pembrokeshire (2, +0), Powys County (3, +0),  Rhondda Cynon Taf County (2, +0), Torfaen County (2, +0), Vale of Glamorgan County (1, +0), and Wrexham County (2, +1).

Note that some of these numbers have changed more than you might see from looking at yesterday’s report; this is because residential locations of patients are being confirmed. 12 cases remain unlocalized and 2 are residents outside of Wales.

Northern Ireland: last updated 3/16 at 9 am local time

52 cases, 7 new

Health dept is not providing more detail than this at this time as far as I can tell

US in general: updated 3/16 at 4 pm local time (EST for CDC numbers)

3,487 total cases, 1,858 new with 46 states and DC reporting cases.

This is the start of the explosion of cases I’ve been expecting because of increased testing. This is a good sign that we’re catching more cases. It also indicates that there’s been spread going on for a while.

68 deaths, 27 new (1.95% mortality rate)

53 jurisdictions are reporting cases: 49 states, DC, Puerto Rico, Guam, and US Virgin Islands

Only West Virginia continues to not have cases. Impressive.

CDC is now recommending all in person gatherings with more than 50 people be canceled for the next 8 weeks. This sucks for me personally and probably a lot of you all too. Hang in there.

Trump told states that they should “try to get” ventilators and other critical supplies themselves. Fuck him too.

Not that it’s not the states’ jobs too, but also the federal aid and stockpile is like, a huge thing in disaster response (wait, oops, Trump cut that too)

Alabama: updated 3/16 at 1 PM local time

28 cases, no deaths

Affected counties include: Baldwin (1), Elmore (1), Lee (1), Jefferson (17), Limestone (1), Montgomery (1), Shelby (3), and Tuscaloosa (3).

Arizona: updated 3/16 at 11:36 AM

18 cases, no deaths

Affected counties include: Graham (1), Maricopa (8), Pima (4), and Pinal (5)

California: updated around 10 AM PST, 3/15/20

The Governor has recommended the following:

Those with chronic health conditions and those over 65 should shelter in place.

Gatherings over 250 people should be canceled.

Drinking establishments should be closed but restaurants can operate at 50% capacity.

Hospitals and long term care facilities should prohibit visitors except for end of life situations

Total cases not including the ones at Miramar (discussed below): 363, with 6 total deaths

Deaths have occurred in the following counties: Placer (1), Sacramento (2), San Mateo (1), Santa Clara (2)

The following counties report recoveries: Humboldt (1), San Benito (2)

The following counties report numbers of hospitalizations: Los Angeles (2), San Diego (8), Santa Clara (52)

Affected counties include: Alameda (18, +11), Calaveras (2, +0), Contra Costa (34, +5), Fresno (2, +0), Humboldt (1, +0), Imperial (2, +0), Los Angeles (94, +25), Madera (1, +0), Marin (9, +4), Orange (17, +3), Placer (8, +0), Riverside (15, +5), Sacramento (33, +4) San Benito (3, +0), San Diego (33, +25), San Francisco (40, +12), San Joaquin (8, +0), San Luis Obispo (3, +2), San Mateo (41, +9), Santa Clara (138, +47), Santa Cruz (9, +2), Shasta (1, +0), Solano (9, +3), Sonoma (5, +1), Stanislaus (3, +1), Tulare (2, +0), Ventura (5, +0), Yolo (2, +0)

Note regarding San Diego: The four federally quarantined people are not included in the county statistics.

Unaffected counties include: Alpine, Butte, Colusa, Del Norte, El Dorado, Glenn, Inyo, Kern, Kings, Lake, Lassen, Mariposa, Mendocino, Merced, Modoc, Mono, Monterey, Napa, Plumas, Sierra, Siskiyou, Sutter, Tehama, Trinity, Tuolumne, Yuba

Counties with confirmed community transmission include: Los Angeles, Marin, Orange, Riverside, San Francisco, San Joaquin, Santa Clara, Sonoma

Ventura County retested a possible case of community transmission and did not find evidence as of 3/16/20.

Newly affected counties include Amador (1), Nevada (1), San Bernardino (1), Santa Barbara (1)

Closures/Restrictions by County

Alameda: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Contra Costa: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Del Norte: Schools closed through 4/20

El Dorado: Schools closed through 3/20

Marin: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Mendocino: Modified schooling starting 3/17

Mono: Schools closed through 3/30, Alterra Mountain closed

Nevada: Schools are closed until 4/13, libraries closed until 4/12

Riverside: Schools & daycares are closed, gatherings >250 people prohibited

San Benito: Schools are closed

San Francisco: Shelter in Place until 4/7

San Luis Obispo: Alcohol sales on site are banned through 3/18

San Mateo: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Santa Clara: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Santa Cruz: Schools are closed until 3/20

Stanislaus: Gatherings of >1000 people are prohibited indoor and outdoor from 3/16 to 3/31

Tuolumne: Schools are closed from 3/16 to 3/30

Ventura: All schools and public libraries are closed starting 3/16 until further notice

Yolo: Many schools are closed at the local level. The County website has a list of closures: https://www.yolocounty.org/health-human-services/adults/communicable-disease-investigation-and-control/novel-coronavirus-2019

Counties with no closures/restrictions beyond those mandated by the state: Alpine, Amador, Butte, Calaveras, Colusa, Fresno, Glenn, Humboldt, Imperial, Inyo, Kern, Kings, Lake, Lassen, Los Angeles, Madera, Merced, Modoc, Monterey, Napa, Orange, Placer, Plumas, San Bernardino, San Diego, San Joaquin, Santa Barbara, Shasta, Sierra, Siskiyou, Solano, Sutter, Tehama, Trinity, Tulare, and Yuba

Drive through testing is available in Marin County

Colorado - last updated 3/15 at 145 pm local time

131 cases (+30), 1 death

Counties reporting deaths include: El Paso (1)

Affected counties include: Adams (6, +0), Arapahoe (15, +5), Denver (24, +4), Douglas (8, +4), Eagle (22, +4), El Paso (4, +1), Gunnison (8, +2), Jefferson (12, +3), Larimer (1, +0), Mesa (1, +0), Pitkin (2, +0), Pueblo (1, +0), Summit (1, +0), Weld (5, +2), with one case reassigned from Summit to unknown status

Out of state visitors who have tested positive are tallied separately, 15 in total (+0). They are located in the following counties: Pitkin (9), Eagle (2), Routt (1), Denver (1), unknown (2).

Confirmed community spread

Newly affected counties include: Boulder (3), Clear Creek (1),

Drive through testing is available in: Denver and Lowry

Residents of Gunnison, Eagle, Summit, Pitkin are recommended to minimize social contact

Anyone who visited the Colorado Springs Bridge center in late Feb-early Mar may have been exposed, call the DPH for more information

Events of >50 people are “strongly encouraged” to be canceled

Schools are closed in many places, local news is your best bet for this. I’ll try to include this eventually but it’s too much today.

Connecticut - last update 3/16 at 5 pm local time

41 cases

The following counties are affected: Fairfield (29), Hartford (4), Litchfield (4), New Haven (4)

Connecticut’s small, right? You can’t have more than 4 counties?

Restrictions/Closures

Gatherings >250 people are canceled through 4/30

No gatherings >50 people until further notice

Nursing home visits restricted

Schools closed through 3/30

Restaurants are carryout/drive through only through 4/30

Fitness/recreation centers and movie theaters closed through 4/30

Delaware: last update 3/16 at 1:40 local time

8 cases, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: New Castle (8)

Do you guys have any other counties?? This is gonna be another Rhode Island sitch, I think.

Restrictions/closures:

Events over >100 people are encouraged to cancel/reschedule

Schools closed through 3/27

District of Columbia: last update 3/16 AM

17 cases, no deaths

There’s no counties in DC, you can’t trick me

Restrictions/Closures

Food service/drinking establishments are restricted to <250 people, <6 people/table, no standing or bar seating, and tables separated by 6 feet

Nightclubs etc are closed

Florida - last updated 12:38 pm local time 3/16/20

155 (+40) cases and 4 deaths (+0)

Florida has not yet confirmed community transmission but it’s almost certainly happening. I’m no longer separating counties with and without confirmed community transmission because of that.

Affected counties  include: Alachua (2, +1), Broward (39, +3), Charlotte (1, +0), Citrus (1, +0), Clay (3, +0), Collier (6, +1), Duval (5, +1), Hillsborough (5, +1), Lee (4, -1), Manatee (5, +1), Miami-Dade (23, +10), Nassau (1, +0) Okaloosa (1, +0), Orange (3, +0), Osceola (4, +2), Palm Beach (8, +3), Pasco (2, +0) Pinellas (4 +2), Santa Rosa (1, +0), Sarasota (3, +2) Seminole (4, +3), St. Johns (2, +1) Volusia (7, +2)

A case was removed from the record of Lee County. Since FLDPH changed their website, I don’t know where it was reassigned.

Newly affected counties include: Escambia (1) and Lake (1)

Georgia: last updated 3/16 at 11:21 AM

121 cases, 22 new, 1 death

Affected counties include: Bartow (9, +0), Charlton (1, +0), Cherokee (7, +1), Clayton (5, +3), Clarke (3, +1), Cobb (22, +3), Coweta (2, +0), Dekalb (10, +0), Dougherty (6, +0), Fayette (5, +0), Floyd (4, +0), Fulton (27, +7), Gordon (2, +0), Gwinnett (5, +1), Henry (2, +1), Lowndes (3, +1), Lee (2, +0), Newton (1, +0), and Polk (1, +0).

Newly affected counties include: Forsyth (1), Hall (1), Paulding (1), and Troup (1)

Illinois: last updated 3/14/20

105 confirmed cases, 16 new

Confirmed community spread

Affected counties include Champaign, Clinton, Cook, Cumberland, DuPage, Kane, Lake, McHenry, Sangamon, St. Clair, Whiteside, Winnebago, and Woodford

ILDPH is not publishing numbers per county. I will try to include this for tomorrow’s update.

Newly affected counties include: Peoria and Will

Closings/Restrictions

Bars and restaurants are closed (except for carryout and drive through) until 3/30

All gatherings >50 people prohibited

Gyms/fitness centers/clubs/theaters are closed

DMV is closed! I personally hate the IL DMV so this isn’t like, sad news in particular…..

Community colleges and public schools are closed - like in other places I will attempt to include county-by-county news soon.

Iowa: last updated 3/16

Total cases: 22, 4 new

Affected counties include: Carroll (1, +0), Dallas (1, +0), Harrison (1, +0), Johnson (15, +1), and Pottawattamie (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Allamakee (2) and Polk (1)

Community spread confirmed

Closures/restrictions

Schools closed for 4 weeks starting 3/16

Kansas: last updated 3/16

11 confirmed cases (+3), 1 death

Affected counties include: Johnson (8, +3), Wyandotte (1, +0), Butler (1, +0), Franklin (1, +0)

Closures/Restrictions

Schools closed through 3/23

Kentucky: last updated 3/16 at 4 pm local time

22 cases (+4), 1 death (+1)

Counties reporting deaths: Bourbon (1)

Counties reporting recoveries: Harrison (1)

Affected counties include: Bourbon (1), Clark (1), Fayette (5), Harrison (6), Jefferson (6), Montgomery (1), and Nelson (1).

Closures/Restrictions

Restaurants and bars closed to in-person service

State Capitol closed to nonessential personnel

Schools are closed statewide

Louisiana: last updated 5:30 pm 3/16

136 cases reported, 45 new

3 deaths, 1 new

Parishes affected:  Bossier (1, +0), Caddo (3, +2), Jefferson (21, +9), Lafourche (2, +1), Orleans (94, +29), St. Bernard (2, +1), St. Charles (3, +1), St. John the Baptist (1, +0), St. Tammany (6, +2), and Terrebonne (2, +0)

New parishes affected: Ascension (1)

Maryland: last updated 10 AM 3/16

37 cases, 0 deaths

Counties affected: Anne Arundel (1), Baltimore (4), Baltimore City (1), Carroll (1), Charles (1), Harford (2), Howard (1), Montgomery (15), Prince George’s (10), Talbot (1)

Community spread confirmed

Exposure risk advisory for Lorien Elkridge

Closures/restrictions

Casinos, racetracks and other gambling situations are closed

Gatherings >250 people prohibited

All schools closed through 3/27

Senior centers closed until further notice

Massachusetts: last updated 4 pm 3/16

197 cases (59 new)

Affected counties include: Barnstable (1, +0), Berkshire (11, +2), Bristol (2, +1), Essex (8, +3), Middlesex (83, +18), Norfolk (36, +8), Suffolk (36, +9), and Worcester (6, +4)

Newly affected counties include: Hampden (1) and Plymouth (3)

10 cases are undetermined location

14 hospitalizations (+3)

They finally stopped making me download a goddamn word doc, thank you Massachusetts <3

Michigan: last updated 3/16 2 pm

54 cases (+21) 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Bay (1, +0), Charlevoix (1, +0), Ingham (1, +0), Kent (5, +2), Macomb (6, +4), Monroe (1, +0), Montcalm (1, +0), Oakland (14, +5), St. Clair (2, +1), Washtenaw (7, +3), and Wayne (14, +6)

Wayne County includes Detroit (6 cases)

Likely community transmission

Closures/Restrictions

Bars and restaurants are carryout/drive through only

Public spaces (casinos, theaters, etc) closed

Public offices open by appt only

Minnesota: last updated 3/16 at 12:00

54 cases (+19)

Affected counties include: Anoka, Carver, Dakota, Hennepin, Olmstead, Ramsey, Renville, Stearns, Waseca, Washington, and Wright

Newly affected counties include: Benton and Blue Earth

County numbers are not currently being provided by MN dept of health, just ranges. Hennepin county has >20 cases.

I will start working on these numbers for tomorrow’s edition

Drive through testing available in Olivia

Montana: last updated 3/15 at 7:45 pm

6 cases

Affected counties not being reported at this time, I’ll try to untangle that tomorrow

Closures/Restrictions

Public schools closed until 3/30

Many counties have closed libraries, these will be included tomorrow

Nebraska: last updated 3/16

Community transmission confirmed: many locations in Douglas County are potential places where transmission has occurred; if you live or have traveled to Douglas County (Omaha), please check the Douglas County COVID-19 monitoring site at: https://www.douglascountyhealth.com/latest-news.

There were also two exposures in Knox County on March 5, at basketball games at Lincoln Southwest HS and North Star HS.

18 cases (+1), no deaths

Affected counties include: Cass (1), Douglas (15) and Knox (1)

New Jersey : last updated 3/16 at 2 pm

178 cases (+109), 2 deaths (+1)

Affected counties include: Bergen (61, +36), Burlington (5, +2), Camden (3, +1), Essex (20, +13), Hudson (19, +14), Mercer (6, +5), Middlesex (17, +7), Monmouth (14, +6), Morris (6, +3), Ocean (3, +2), Passaic (8, +6), Somerset (5, +4), and Union (8, +7)

Newly affected counties include: Hunterdon (1)

Closures/Restrictions:

No gatherings >50 people

New York: last updated 3/16 at 3 PM

950 cases (+337), 2 deaths

Affected counties include: Albany (12, +7), Broome (1, +0), Delaware (1, +0), Dutchess (10, +6), Erie (6, +3), Herkimer (1, +0), Monroe (10, +8), Nassau (109, +30), Orange (11, +5), Rockland (16, +4), Saratoga (5, +2), Schenectady (4, +3), Suffolk (63, +22), Tioga (1, +0), Tompkins (1, +0), Ulster (7, +2), Westchester (220, +42)

NYC has 463 cases (194) as of 3/16 at 11:30 am

Areas/counties reporting deaths are: NYC - Brooklyn (1), Rockland (1)

Newly affected counties include: Allegany (2), Greene (2), Montgomery (1), Onondaga (1), Ontario (1), and Putnam (2)

Drive through testing in New Rochelle, Long Island, Staten Island, and Rockland County

Closures/Restrictions

Bars, restaurants, entertainment venues closed

No gatherings >50 people

Public schools closed until 4/1

Village elections delayed until 4/28

The governor dunked on the federal response hard in his press conference, which was great tbh

North Carolina: last updated 3/16 at 10 AM

33 cases, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Brunswick (1), Cabarrus (1), Chatham (1), Craven (1), Durham (1), Forsyth (2), Harnett (2), Johnston (2), Mecklenburg (4), Onslow (1), Wake (14), Watauga (1), Wayne (1), and  Wilson (1).

Advisory for an exposure at Raleigh convention center on March 8

Please call Wake County if you were there, they are tracking exposures

Closures/Restrictions

Schools are closed statewide until 3/30

Events >100 people canceled

Ohio: last updated 3/16 at 2 pm

50 confirmed cases, 14 new

14 hospitalizations

Affected counties include: Belmont (2, +0), Butler (6, +0), Cuyahoga (24, +10), Franklin (3, +0), Lorain (3, +1), Lucas (1, +0), Medina (2, +1), Stark (3, +1), Summit (2, +0), Trumbull (2, +0), Tuscarawas (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Geauga (1).

Closures/Restrictions

Bars/restaurants are closed

Gatherings >50 people canceled

Oregon: last updated 3/15 at 12 PM

39 cases (+3), 1 death

Counties reporting deaths: Multnomah (1)

13 hospitalized at time of positive test

The following counties are affected: Clackamas (1, +0), Deschutes (4, +1), Douglas (1, +0), Jackson (2, +0), Klamath (1, +0), Linn (10, +1), Marion (2, +0), Multnomah (1, +0), Polk (1, +0), Umatilla (2, +0), and Washington (13, +0).

Newly affected counties include: Yamhill (1).

Pennsylvania: last updated 3/16 at 7 pm

Gritty continues his dark work.

76 total cases (+13)

Counties affected include: Allegheny (5, +2) Bucks (5, +1), Chester (2, +0), Cumberland (5, +0), Delaware (7, +0),  Lehigh (1, +0), Luzerne (1, +0), Monroe (8, +2), Montgomery (30, +6), Northampton (1, +0), Philadelphia (8, +2), Pike (1, +0), Washington (1, +0), Wayne (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: NONE TODAY! \o/

Closures/restrictions:

Restaurants and bars are closed in the following counties until 3/30:  Allegheny, Bucks, Chester, Delaware, and Montgomery

Presumably this will deter Gritty

Rhode Island: last updated 3/16

21 confirmed cases (+1), no deaths

Chanston High School West had an exposure; 1700 people are currently quarantined after this exposure

I will attempt to sort out county level data soon, since apparently y’all have counties

South Carolina: last updated 3/16 at 3:50 pm

33 cases, no deaths

Will try to find more granular data for tomorrow’s edition

South Dakota: last updated 3/16

10 confirmed cases (+1),  no deaths

Affected counties include: Beadle (1, +0), Bon Homme (1, +0), Charles Mix (1, +0), Davison (1, +0), McCook (1, +0), Minnehaha (4, +1), and Pennington (1, +0)

No community transmission

Tennessee: last updated 3/16 at 2 pm

52 cases, no deaths

Affected counties include: Campbell (1), Davidson (25), Hamilton (1), Jefferson (1), Knox (1), Rutherford (1), Sevier (1), Shelby (2), Sullivan (1), and Williamson (18)

Texas: last updated 3/16

57 total cases, 1 new.

Highly likely that there has been community transmission, unconfirmed currently

Affected counties include: Bell (1, +0), Bexar (3, +2), Brazoria (2, +0), Collin (6, +1), Dallas (8, +0), El Paso (1, +0), Fort Bend (9, +0), Galveston (1, +0), Gregg (1, +0), Harris (10, +0), Hays (1, +0), Lavaca (1, +0), Matagorda (1), Montgomery (3, +0), Smith (4, +1), Tarrant (3, +0), and Travis (2, +1)

Newly affected counties include: None today!

Utah: last updated 3/16

29 total cases

Affected health districts include: Davis County (4, +1), Salt Lake county (18, +2), Southwest Utah (1, +0), Summit County (11, +9), and Weber-Morgan (2, +1)

Newly affected districts include: Tooele (1), Utah County (1), and Wasatch County (1)

First case of community spread identified on 3/14/20, in Summit County

Exposure at Wasatch High School identified

Schools: canceled

Mormons: canceled

Skiing: canceled

Public places in SLC: Canceled

Vermont

12 cases total (+4)

Affected counties include: Bennington (3), Chittenden (4), Orange (1), Springfield (1), Washington (1), and Windsor (3)

Hospitalizations are reported in the following counties: Bennington (3), Chittenden (1), Springfield (1), Washington (1), Windsor (1)

Closures/restrictions:

No gatherings >50 people or >50% capacity, whichever is lower

Schools are closed starting 3/18

Virginia: last updated 3/16

51 cases total, 6 new

Affected counties/cities include: Alexandria City (2, +1), Arlington (9, +1), Chesterfield (2, +1), Fairfax (10, +0), Hanover (1, +0), Harrisonburg City (1, +0), James City (10, +2), Loudoun (5, +0), Prince Edward (1, +0), Prince William (3, +0), Spotsylvania (1, +0), and Virginia Beach City (4, +0)

Newly affected areas include: Stafford (1) and York (1)

Washington: last updated 3/16 at 3:45 PM

Things are still super rough. Hang in there.

904 total cases (+262), 48 deaths (+8)

Current mortality rate: 5.3%

Deaths have occurred in the following counties: Grant (1, +0), King (43, +8), and Snohomish (4, +0).

Affected counties include: Clark (4, +1), Columbia (1, +0), Grant (3, +1), Grays Harbor (1, +0), Island (7, +1), Jefferson (3, +2), King (488, +101), Kitsap (7, +4), Kittitas (3, +0), Pierce (38, +12), Skagit (7, +3), Snohomish (200, +46), Spokane (3, +0), Thurston (4, +1), Whatcom (3, +1), and Yakima (4, +0).

126 cases are currently unassigned to a county. These are expected to resolve in the coming days, hopefully.

Newly affected counties include: Lewis (1) and Lincoln (1)

Closures/restrictions: widespread, will have county-by-county info soon.

Wisconsin: last updated 3/16 at 2 PM

47 total cases (+14), 0 deaths

Recovery is being reported by the following counties: Dane (1)

This is updated every Friday, next update expected 3/20

Affected counties include: Dane (10, +4), Fond du Lac (11, +0), Milwaukee (13, +6), Pierce (1, +0), Racine (1, +0), Sheboygan (3, +0), Waukesha (3, +0), and Winnebago (3, +2)

Newly affected counties include: Outagamie (1) and Wood (1)

Closures/restrictions

Schools closed starting 3/18 for minimum of two weeks

Today’s Hot Tips

Social distancing can be really crappy for people who are prone to feeling isolated. Try to schedule time to hang out virtually, especially if you’re stuck at home alone. I highly recommend the Jackbox party games to stream over Discord, or tabletop RPGs played through a service like Roll20. My friends and I have been doing all these things and it’s helping a lot!

If you have a favorite quarantine activity, let me know and I can include it in the next issue!

Everyone knows that sex is an option, there’s gonna be a lot of November, December, & January babies

That said, make sure your quarantine supplies include contraception and condoms and stuff. If you have a uterus, you can buy emergency contraception (plan B) online and it’s real handy to have around in a situation like this.

Hand washing is so hot right now

Hand Washing Song of the Day

If you hate singing happy birthday while you wash your hands, I certainly do, try Barrett’s Privateers!

Sing the first verse and chorus to feel like a pirate and follow CDC handwashing guidelines! Use soap and water for maximum virus-murdering.

Good News, Everyone!

The Shedd Aquarium took its penguins around to explore the whole aquarium since there were no people, and boy were those lil guys fascinated by everything!

Check it out here: https://twitter.com/shedd_aquarium/status/1239248971006185478?s=21

Chill Cat Corner

This one’s a classic: “where’s the babies???”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rELs4jl64k

I wish I could summon a bunch of smol kittens to scream at me like this

About this newsletter

I’m Emily, I’m a 4th year med student w/ a degree in molecular biology. I started this because I’m an infectious disease and epidemiology nerd and also all my friends have questions & anxiety. Hi internet!

The archive/proper website is located at coronaextranewsletter.wordpress.com.

All this info is sourced from regional & national public health organizations, plus the WHO. It’s as up to date as humanly possible. I’ve been beaming information about this outbreak directly into my brain 24/7 but I still miss stuff. Please let me know if I miss something!

Most public health departments stop updating their information around 4-5 PM local time on weekdays. That means that the earliest this will come out is around 6 PM Pacific time on weekdays going forward. On weekends things update more sporadically and earlier, so who knows what I’ll do then, but I’ll do my best.

The excellent title is courtesy of @marywhal​ and the Wordpress site is courtesy of @molly0xFFF and @goblinartificer on Twitter, thank you all!

For More Information

JHU COVID-19 data center: https://gisanddata.maps.arcgis.com/apps/opsdashboard/index.html#/bda7594740fd40299423467b48e9ecf6

List of peer-reviewed publications: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/publications.html

WHO daily sitrep: https://www.who.int/docs/default-source/coronaviruse/situation-reports/20200316-sitrep-56-covid-19.pdf?sfvrsn=9fda7db2_2

WHO FAQ: https://www.who.int/news-room/q-a-detail/q-a-coronaviruses

CDC cases in the US: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-in-us.html, this also has links to each state’s health dept

[idreamofhazel]

Forced Apart

Relationships: Sam x reader

Word Count: 975

Genre: angst

A/N: Being in a long distance relationship with someone in another country during a pandemic sucks. I wrote this to help me process my feelings about having to cancel a trip to see them, knowing that there’s no certain timeline for this situation to end. I guess one positive is that angst lovers will get some content ;)

You stood alone in the quiet motel room, staring at your phone sitting atop the stained, wooden table. You were going to have to make the call. The situation outside was getting worse. People had been attacked walking to the corner store. Monsters were killing out in the open.

Sam was back home, in Kansas, and you… you had taken a job in California. You’d always wanted to see the west coast. But things went to shit a couple days later. Now, the oceans, beaches, and sunsets were meaningless compared to looking into Sam’s eyes and being able to touch his face. 

You picked up your phone after staring at it for five minutes. You swiped up to unlock the screen and found Sam’s name in your recent calls. It rang only once before he picked up. 

“Hey, you ok? Where are you?” he rattled off, sounding out of breath as if he ran to answer his phone in time. 

“Hey,” you smiled, hoping he could hear it through the phone. “It’s so good to hear your voice. I’m still here in California, holed up in a motel for now. Starting to get a little stir crazy.”

“Are you safe?”

“As safe as I can be. How’s the situation back home?”

“Getting worse, I’m afraid.” There was a somber pause, then Sam continued. “Dean and I go out and hunt as much as we can but… it’s overwhelming. I’m not sure how much we’re helping.” 

“I’m sure you guys are kicking ass like always.”

“Are you trying to come home?” Sam asked. 

You took a deep breath. “That’s why I called actually. Sam, I- I don’t think it’s safe for me to be out in the open for a long stretch of time. Maybe I can travel little by little but…”

“I know.” Sam spoke softly, defeated. There was silence, then sniffling sounds. “It’s probably safer if you stay put.” 

“I don’t want you coming after me either. Stay in Kansas until this blows over,” you said, knowing in your gut this wasn’t a “blow over” situation. 

“I’m working on finding some spells to maybe give us an advantage, maybe take out lots of monsters at once.”

“I know you’ll find something.” Tears began to well up in your eyes. You wiped them away. “You think Chuck is behind this?”

“I’m almost certain. Dean’s working on that, too. This bunker has a lot of resources we haven’t explored. I’m sure there’s something.”

“Right. You guys will find answers in no time. We won’t be apart forever. It’s only been, what? Two weeks?” Even though the words were positive, your heart broke as you said them. 

“Right, it’s temporary,” Sam said, his voice cracking. “But call me every day, so I know you’re ok

“Of course. Maybe I can try to make my way back east, little by little.”

“If we get ahold of Cas, I’ll have him get you, first thing.”

You had forgotten that Sam said they couldn’t locate any angels. Your best guess was that they were locked in heaven, the worst guess was that they were gone. 

You wiped away more tears but now there were more than you could keep up with. “God I feel so stupid for taking this case.”

“I feel stupid for not going with you,” Sam said somberly. 

“I miss you so much.” You thought of his arms around you tight, warm and safe. His head laying on your naked chest in bed. Your laughter at his bad jokes. All the things you would miss out on for an indefinite amount of time. 

“I know,” he said weakly, overwhelmed with emotion, “I miss you too.”

Tears now flowed down your cheeks as you wondered how long it would be until you saw him again. Days? Weeks? Months? What if something happened to one of you while you were apart? 

You sat up straight and wiped away your tears with the back of your hand. You couldn’t afford to waste time dwelling on the worst possibilities. Both he and you had work to do. 

“You get back to work, ok?” you said with a stuffy nose. “And I’ll call you again tonight before I go to bed. I’m going to see if I can work out a travel route, even if I can only go a couple hours a day.”

“No, y/n... stay inside unless you absolutely have to go out. We don’t know the exact situation yet, and we’ve already gotten word of several hunters being overwhelmed and killed. Let me see if I can get word on places that may have been less affected, and maybe you can travel that way. Or I can give you spells to use. But don’t go anywhere yet. I can’t lo-” Sam was cut off by his own despair. “Just stay safe, please. It’s better that you don’t come here yet.”

You knew he was right but you hated to say it. Still, you agreed for Sam’s sake. “Okay, I’ll wait.” 

“I love you, y/n.”

“I love you, too, Sam.”

“Call me tonight.”

“I will.”

“Okay, and call me if anything changes.”

“Of course. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

With the click of Sam hanging up, you let the phone fall onto the table and your head drop into your hands. You began to cry. 

With no clear end to this separation, it was easy to fall into hopelessness. 

You gave yourself a few more seconds of grief before you stood up, wiped your eyes and nose with a nearby shirt, and then opened your computer. You got to work on mapping a way back home. You would stay put for a few more days, like Sam had asked, but you couldn’t do so indefinitely. You had to find a way back to him.

Tags:

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Want to be on the tag list? Put your name here.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Canada Reads is back!

The CBC Books Canada Reads competition is an annual literary event that pits five books by Canadian authors against each other, each represented by a "champion" from the Canadian arts scene in a series of televised debates.

After each debate, one book is voted off by viewers, until the final book is chosen.

This year, I was over-the-moon ecstatic to learn that my collection of novellas Radicalized was among the contenders for the prize, with the incomparable Akil Augustine defending it.

But the debates were one of the casualties of the pandemic, delayed indefinitely...

....Until now! The CBC has announced that the debates will be back Jul 20-23:

https://www.cbc.ca/books/canadareads/canada-reads-2020-to-take-place-july-20-23-1.5623761

This is very exciting news! And while the pandemic has heaped tragedy upon misery, I do believe that when life gives you SARS you should make sarsaparilla, and in that spirit, I can't help but observe that the passage of time has only boosted my book's chances.

After all, this is a book whose four tales deal with:

1. The racial and economic politics of technological control (Unauthorized Bread, read it here: https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/)

2. Racialized police violence, allyship, and predictive policing (Model Minority)

3. How the inevitable outcome of a for-profit health-care system is desperation and murderous violence, spread through toxic online forums (Radicalized)

4. The ghastly comeuppance awaiting wealthy preppers who cower in luxury bunkers while we all deal with the crisis - the absurdity of hoping finance bros can reboot civilisation (listen here https://craphound.com/podcast/2020/03/13/the-masque-of-the-red-death/)

I mean, it's all a little on-the-nose at this point.

Before the crisis, CBC recorded and wrote a wealth of material about all five of the finalists and their champions: podcasts, video interviews, Q&As, essays, and more. They've collected all that material here for your review:

https://www.cbc.ca/books/canadareads/canada-reads-2020-to-take-place-july-20-23-1.5623761

And as much as I can't help but notice the convergence of current events with my own contender in the race, all five of the books are outstanding and worthy of your attention.

* Small Game Hunting at the Local Coward Gun Club by Megan G Coles (defended by Alayna Fender).

"A cast of flawed characters; over the course of a snowy Feb day, they're implicated in each other's hopes, dreams and pains amid harsh economic times."

https://www.cbc.ca/books/alayna-fender-1.5433793

* We Have Always Been Here by Samra Habib, (defended by Amanda Brugel)

"An exploration of the ways we disguise and minimize ourselves for the sake of survival."

https://www.cbc.ca/books/we-have-always-been-here-by-samra-habib-1.4990355

* Son of a Trickster by Eden Robinson (defended by Kaniehtiio Horn)

"A novel about Jared, a compassionate 16-year-old, maker of famous weed cookies, son of an unreliable father and unhinged, though loving in her way, mother."

https://www.cbc.ca/books/son-of-a-trickster-by-eden-robinson-1.3975938

* From the Ashes by Jesse Thistle (defended by George Canyon)

"His memoir, From the Ashes, details how his issues with abandonment and addiction led to homelessness, incarceration and his eventual redemption through higher education."

https://www.cbc.ca/books/from-the-ashes-by-jesse-thistle-1.5222288

One of my favourite Canada Reads resources is the Canada Reads American Style podcast, created by a pair of canlit-obsessed Michigan librarians. I did a long interview with them after the initial debates were canceled.

https://canadareadsamericanstyle.podbean.com/e/doctorow-interview/

[confusedbyinterface]

After 20 years of hesitation, confusion, and misery, I made the decision to emerge from the darkness and make a complete break with the party. Xi’s great leap backward soon left me with no other choice. In 2018, Xi abolished presidential term limits, raising the prospect that I would have to live indefinitely under neo-Stalinist rule. The next summer, I was able to travel to the United States on a tourist visa. While there, I received a message from a friend telling me that the Chinese authorities, accusing me of “anti-China” activities, would arrest me if I returned. I decided to prolong my visit until things calmed down. Then the COVID-19 pandemic broke out, and flights to China were canceled, so I had to wait a little longer. At the same time, I was disgusted by Xi’s mishandling of the outbreak and signed a petition supporting Li Wenliang, the Wuhan ophthalmologist who had been harassed by police for warning his friends about the new disease and eventually died of it. I received urgent phone calls from the authorities at the Central Party School demanding that I come home.

I knew I was in trouble. Soon, I was expelled from the party. The school stripped me of my retirement benefits. My bank account was frozen. I asked the authorities at the Central Party School for a guarantee of my personal safety if I returned. Officials there avoided answering the question and instead made vague threats against my daughter in China and her young son. It was at this point that I accepted the truth: there was no going back.

It’s just great how Donald Trump banned all CCP members and their families from entering the United States so anyone even considering criticizing Xi Jinping will just have to find some other country to flee to

(though, I don’t really see the covid-19 situation improving before Jan 20th so it’s a bit of a moot point)

[hellodeanna]

Started this blog because 2020 has been enough of a shit show that I felt it was time to write out my aggressions instead of complaining to my husband for the billionth time this week...

it’s October and instead of being in our current home state of Arizona, both C and I have been furloughed until....? Well, the current political climate will tell. Our jobs (yes, we both work for the same non-profit) are reliant on the national park nearby, and because funding has been cut, parks aren’t fully open and people aren’t being the tourists they were pre-COVID19, we will stay stuck in this holding pattern for the near future.

Applying to jobs feel like a joke when you’ve been working in a field that is literally halted because of the lack of tourism... Who wants to hire someone with such a specific career path?? receptionist? assistant? data entry?? I hated working those lowly positions before, and surely don’t want to do it again, but to even receive responses that my job applications won’t be moving past the application stage is quite disheartening.

Someday, I’m sure I’ll want to remember this stage of my life; after all, I am a very newly wed person and this shit show of a year is and will be historic... I imagine my grandmother living through the great depression and feel like these circumstances are fairly similar, but I want to preserve my own facts for my future family. Writing it all down should help, and frankly there isn’t enough paper in my planner/journal to write down my anger and bitterness.

So here’s the details:

In March, we got word that a virus called COVID19 was slowly seeping through the country. Because Arizona is such an Asian tourist destination with the Grand Canyon being nearby, and iconic Horseshoe bend being just over the ridge in our backyard, we were afraid, but it didn’t feel truly real. I was working alone in the archives at that point and truly felt that I would be safe to do my job despite the suggested stay at home orders. Within in maybe 3 days(?) that changed and we were forced to stay home. C and I took it very seriously, barely going out for groceries, washing our clothes in the bathtub (hell nah, to the laundromat) and laying low. We baked bread, we slept late and on warmer days we’d escape to the middle of nowhere in the desert to streak. Food began to get scarce by the end of March, and we had to drive a hour north to Kanab for meat. Produce was lacking too, but we were actively trying to eat all the food we had first before we panicked about where to get vegetables.

As April snuck in, we ventured out to camp several times in the Glen Canyon Recreation Area and Grand Staircase Escalante, and then there were the fires that forced us back inside. I never did follow up to learn if the fires around Grand Canyon and the Kaibab Plateau were accidental (lightening strike) or purposeful (rumors of a propane tank exploding), but they ravaged so much of the area that some days looked cloudy from the smoke. Exploring the area post fire was truly unbelievable - ash fields for miles.

C and I cancelled our 4.24.2020 wedding ceremony - which part of me is grateful we avoided the money and the awkwardness of a ceremony, but another part of me is bitter that I didn’t get to dress up and celebrate the love of my life. It was always a funny joke to us that we actually elope on 4/20, so we did just that, and feasted on s’mores and hot dogs post courthouse. Blunts and dabs instead of a true champagne toast - just the way we liked it. Oh by the way, I had bought this dress for $1200 which I didn’t wear and we barely got photos so that’s the part that still haunts me, and causes the immense amount of bitterness I’ve been feeling (especially now that it’s october, the pandemic is still alive and well, and I keep seeing people getting married with 150+ people in attendance *MaSkLeSs* like covid isn’t a thing still) Buying a dress that I can’t wear feels like I should have just saved that money to use for this season of indefinite unemployment.

Right after our wedding, we tried to go camping in California - which didn’t totally go as planned because everything was shut down, so we were forced to airbnb it (not really complaining). I finally got to dip my toes in the Pacific ocean, and we saw millions of Joshua trees. And shortly after our impromptu honeymoon, we set off for Ohio. This time we took the long way round, diving through New Mexico, Texas (stopping at a container home air bnb outside Amarillo), Oklahoma, Missouri (stopping at a secluded cabin on a Missouri Fox Trot Horse farm), Illinois, Indiana and Ohio in our hometown of Cincinnati. We stayed for 14 days to ensure we weren’t sick and attended a funeral service for C’s grandpa, who actually died on thanksgiving of 2019. 

After our Cincinnati reunion we headed back to Arizona, but this time the northern route, going up through Illinois to make a pit stop to wave at my cousins in Chicago, staying at a fishing shack in Wisconsin on the Minnesota border, going through South Dakota and staying in Deadwood (surprisingly I LOVED South Dakota), and driving through all the best cities in Montana. The idea was originally to explore Montana to see if it was a contender for possibly moving there in the near future, but like California, MT was totally shut down - Yellowstone was completely shut off on the highways. So we headed back through Wyoming, Idaho, and through the northern part of Utah that I’d never seen before.

So hands down, the perk of covid19 has been the off-the-grid traveling I’ve done. At this point I think I only have nine states left to go to until I say I’ve been to all 50.

So blah blah blah, we headed back to Page to host a few friends in a camping excursion and by the time July rolled around C and I realized that staying in Page was not realistic. We’d run out of unemployment and with all the work piling up back in Cincinnati, we made the heartbreaking decision to take the basics and head back to Ohio.

Well, after over two months of working odd jobs in Ohio, we’re still here. There’s gross family drama here, and I feel like I’m a total leech. We’re pulling money out of savings - you know, the money we either got for our wedding or got in celebration of our wedding (for what we hoped would be a honeymoon fund). I’m bitter, can you tell? I have no idea what’s next...

I think that’s enough ranting for today, so I’ll sign off.

until next time, fuck everything

[believingispowerfulmagic]

Comfort Food - “Surviving Quarantine”

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Robin and Regina shouted with the rest of the family. They then cheered and Henry clapped from his father's lap, kicking his little legs as well. At seven months, Regina knew he didn't really understand what was going on and was just reacting to the happiness around him.

On screen, Grandpa Roland blew out the candles on his cake as the rest of the Locksley clan surrounded him in little squares. When the last candle went out, Grandma Ellie handed him the knife. "Time to cut the cake," she said.

"Should I just cut it down the middle? It's just the two of us after all, though I hope you all followed my instructions to have cake yourselves," Roland said, trying to look at every box he could.

Many of the Locksleys held up their own cakes, assuring their patriarch that they followed his request. Robin smiled as he bounced Henry. "It's a bit early for dessert here but Regina's made us cupcakes to share in your honor," he assured his grandfather.

"It's almost dinner time there, darling," Ellie reminded her husband. "And you need to cut a small piece. This is no excuse to be a pig."

He rolled his eyes but did as she asked, setting a small slice on his plate. Grandpa Roland cut another slice and put it on Ellie's plate before looking up. "Well, I guess you two can be excused. Or is it three?"

"Henry's still too young for cake," Ellie told him.

"We'll make sure he gets a treat of his own," Robin assured his grandfather, bouncing Henry again and drawing a peal of laughter from the baby boy. It certainly lifted his spirits.

Roland smiled before it faltered. "I wish you all could be here with me."

"So do we," Anne replied, "but this is the safest for all of us."

"We'll be together again soon," Ryan added.

Ellie nodded. "Exactly."

"And until then, this is all for me," Roland said, pulling the dish with the cake on it closer to him. His wife swatted his arms away before taking the dish somewhere else as the family laughed, knowing their patriarch was going to do everything he could to sneak slices of that cake behind Grandma Ellie's back.

Roland sighed before looking into the camera again. "Okay, let me say a few words to each of my great-grandchildren."

He went through each one, having a quick conversation with each of them before telling them he loved them. At last, Roland got back to Robin and Regina. "And now my newest great-grandson, Henry," he said fondly.

"Right here," Robin replied, lifting Henry up a bit more so he was centered in the video. Regina reached over and waved their son's hand for him.

Roland chuckled, waving back at the baby. "I know this was supposed to be your first trip here to England and while we're sad we can see you yet, you're always on our minds. Grandma Ellie and I love you, Henry, and we'll see you soon."

"We love you too," Robin told them. "And we miss you."

"Alright, it looks like our time is coming to an end for now. We'll arrange another Zoom call soon," Anne said. Everyone said their goodbyes before they all disappeared from the screen one by one.

Sadness filled Robin as each of his relatives blinked away. He held on as long as he could but the meeting just ended, closing his eyes as he fought tears. While part of him knew the quarantine was going to be hard, he just didn't imagine it would hurt this much.

"Why don't I take Henry?" Regina asked softly. "You look like you could use some time to yourself."

He opened his eyes to find sympathy in her eyes. She understood what he was feeling and what he needed. Robin swallowed before kissing the top of his son's head. He then handed Henry to Regina. "I'm going to take Queen for a walk," he said.

She nodded, bouncing Henry as she handed him his favorite set of plastic keys. "Take however long you need," she told him. "Just be careful."

"I will," he assured her, kissing her cheek.

He walked into the living room and Queen lifted her head as she laid curled up on her favorite chair. Robin smiled at her and motioned to the door with his head. "Come on, girl. Time for a walk."

Queen eagerly jumped off the chair and ran to the door, her tail wagging. She jumped up on him as he got down her harness and squirmed happily as he put the pink harness on her. Once it was snapped into place, Robin grabbed the matching leash and clipped it to the harness. He put on his sneakers and coat before opening the door and guiding Her Majesty onto the porch.

Robin took a moment to breathe in the fresh and brisk air before walking with Queen down the porch steps and out of their yard. He turned right, heading to a nearby park, and then let his mind start wander.

It still amazed him how fast the world had changed. To him, it seemed like he had just heard about a coronavirus emerging in China and then he was shutting down his business to help stop its spread in Avalon and Storybrooke. Yet he also knew it had taken longer than the blink of an eye as he had anxiously watched the news and worried about his plans to travel to England with Regina and Henry. As Italy began to shut down, he and Regina had made the painful decision to cancel their trip. The extended Locksley clan would just have to wait a bit longer to finally meet Henry properly.

They just didn't know when that would be.

And the uncertainty made everything just so much worse.

Robin usually was a go-with-the-flow person. He didn't stress too much and easily adapted, more than his wife. But this was too much for even him. They had no end date for when all these measures to protect against the pandemic would be lifted and his business was on the line more than it had ever been, even during the recession.

While they had lost clients because they had no longer been able to pay for the Merry Men's services, Robin and his crews hadn't been banned from working like were now.

And while he worried about his business and his staff, right now he was more pained over having to be separated from his family. He loved his annual trip to England and he knew Regina did too. They loved being around the Locksleys and it hurt not to see all of them at that time. He was also painfully aware that his grandfather didn't have many birthdays left and so he hated to miss even one.

It could be his last.

Or it could be Grandma Ellie's last. Both were close in age and he always believed that they would go together, unable to be parted for long.

Queen let out a little bark, alerting him that they had nearly walked past the park. He sighed, crouching down to pat her head. "Sorry, girl. Guess I was in my own world," he told her.

She let out a happy bark, her tail wagging. He stood up and they started down one of their favorite paths. They didn't get too far before a police officer approached them, his hand up. Robin came to a stop, frowning.

"Sorry, sir, but all parks have been closed by order of the mayor," the officer explained. "Too many people were congregating in them and creating a great public risk."

Robin sighed, nodding. "Alright. Thank you."

He tugged on Queen's leash and started walking back to the park's entrance. "Sorry, girl. We need to walk somewhere else."

She let out a little whine and he sighed again, understanding her. "I know, Queen, but this virus has changed a lot. We all just have to adapt – whether we want to or not."

They returned to the street and Robin guided Queen down a different way. "Well, I guess a positive is that we can explore a little bit more. Come on, girl."

Queen looked at the park before following him down the street. He was going to find some new walking paths for him and Queen as he had a feeling this quarantine was going to go one for a long time.

Just perfect.

************************************************************************************

"Here you go, Henry," Regina said, settling her son into his highchair. She placed some cereal in front of him to keep himself busy.

As he ate the cereal, she pulled out a box of macaroni and cheese. She had considered making his grandmother's shepherd's pie for Robin but decided that he needed their ultimate comfort food more at that moment. Regina hummed as she began making it, keeping an eye on the clock.

Robin had been gone for over an hour.

She tried not to worry, knowing he needed to clear his head. Cancelling their annual trip to England had been hard for both of him but especially him. It was important for him to see his family whenever he could and he had been so excited to finally introduce Henry to all his aunts, uncles and cousins. She had been excited too – especially to see Lucy and Daisy with their new cousin – but she knew they just had to wait.

The quarantine and travel restrictions were worse for Robin as he was an entire ocean away from his family but she was feeling them too. She had invited her mother to come stay with them for the duration of the stay at home orders but Cora had already invited Granny to stay with her. Regina was glad her mother wasn't alone but felt sad that she couldn't see her for an indefinite period of time. Like Robin, she also could only talk to her mother and grandaunt by video.

So she understood Robin's pain and understood why he needed some time for himself after their call to England. But it didn't mean she couldn't start to worry the longer he stayed out – especially with a virus terrorizing all of humanity. As she stirred the macaroni and cheese, she eyed her phone. Maybe it was time to text him, to make sure he was okay…

The front door opened and closed. A few moments later, Queen's nails clicked against the floor as she entered the kitchen. She sat at Regina's feet, waiting her usual post-walk treat. Relief filled Regina as she gave it to the dog, glad her husband was finally home.

Robin entered the kitchen and gave her a kiss. She felt how cold he was and frowned. "You were out longer than I expected."

"I'm sorry," he said, sheepish. "The mayor has closed the parks so Queen and I had to find some place new to walk. I'm afraid I got turned around trying to get home."

She chuckled, glad there was a rather innocent reason for why he was out so late. "Well, I guess you'll really know our neighborhood by the time this is all over."

He laughed, nodding. "Probably."

Robin stepped closer, smiling when he saw what she was making. "Mac and cheese?"

"I thought you could use it," she told him, giving him a soft smile. "Today is a hard day."

"It is. Thank you," he replied, kissing her cheek. "I'll set the table."

She thanked him as she poured the mac and cheese into a bowl. Regina carried it over to the table and set it there before turning back to Henry. "How are you doing, sweetheart? Do you need some more snacks?" she asked him.

Henry laughed, banging his hand against the tray. She chuckled, giving him a few more pieces to eat before taking her seat along with Robin. Even if they were stuck at home, she was glad she was stuck with them.

Continue reading on FFN, AO3 or Wattpad

[fallingfromdepression]

12/6/2020

this is gonna be less about school and more me rambling about my mental health and where i am rn in life. i got triggered earlier and i’m hoping i’ll feel better once i write it all out so then i can hopefully get my mind focused back on trying to do this final assignment due tmr evening that i’ve barely started so that’s what the stakes are. put under a cut bc it’s detailing quite a bit of some of my personal life

so i bought a surprise box from an indie artist that ended up being around $30 total with shipping (not too bad since the box is supposed to include at least $50 worth of merch). i haven’t had a lot of misc purchases ever since i came back home, or at least i’m definitely spending less than i did when i was at school, and i generally like all of this artist’s merch so i thought it was a decent expense. unfortunately i did have to buy it today when i am technically supposed to be working on finals and etc but it didn’t take much time since i was notified abt the restock yesterday and i preferred to buy sooner rather than later (i.e. after all my finals are finished) esp from small businesses that have a limited stock. but since my parent is intimately involved with my finances, they saw the purchase asap and kind of interrogated me abt it esp since it’s not a purchase from amazon or a bigger business.

now the context that makes that latter part more meaningful: about this time last yr, i had a situation where i tried to buy an anime merch through a proxy on twitter. this proxy didn’t have an actual website so i was buying through DMs. when i paid the proxy in advance, this same parent saw the purchase and asked me abt it and checked up on the process without asking for any further info. i made the grave mistake (in hindsight) of being honest and telling them i still hadn’t received the purchase months after i had paid them so then this whole shitshow ensued where my parent was convinced the proxy was conning me (the proxy had proxied merch for other ppl before based on their facebook proxy page) and had me cancel the proxy which the proxy thankfully agreed to except they still wanted some payment since they had still gone through the effort to get the merch supposedly (the wait was due to them not shipping the good out yet) so they said they were only going to refund part of the payment. yet again i told my parent abt this partial refund and that further convinced my parent the proxy was conning me (out of $3) so they were like no absolutely no payment to the proxy. lucky for the proxy, around the time i was refunding the payment i had left home and gone back to school so i told them to refund the full amt and i’d pay them separately so i could pretend this $3 payment was for something else i was buying physically. and very very lucky for me the proxy was understanding and refunded the full amt so it looked like i got everything back and i paid them separately through another app. the thing is i was expecting the proxy to take a while bc i had seen on other twitter accounts that proxied merch through individuals tended to take a while, and it had been abt 2ish months since i made the payment. i understand the concern my parent had esp since they are not familiar with online informal dealings, but the thing is ever since this fiasco my parent has assumed everything i buy from a small business (aka anything they don’t recognize) is me getting conned again.

to a degree i understanding and appreciate the concern, but i’m frustrated bc even with that proxy payment i literally cried that night out of anxiety and concern bc i knew there was a chance i could get conned and i had spent days being like ‘should i do it. oh god idk should i. but i’ve checked up on this proxy through any means possible and they seem ok enough...’ so it’s not like i’m like naive af and being like ‘tee hee con me !!’ like i understand the risk and was willing to do it (and to this day i still believe i would have gotten the merch albeit much later than expected). and my age is considered adult age pretty much internationally so it’s not like i’m a naive af 8yo who doesn’t know the dangers of the internet. yes i haven’t made much online purchases but i’m aware of the scams and try to make sure i’m buying from a trusted seller and if it’s worth it for the price. but i hate having to be so concerned abt my spending habits and whether the package will get here in time before my parent cancels the order out of fear of me being conned “again” at my age. i’ll admit i don’t have a stable job yet but it’s not like i’m spending money every week or even every month. if i wasn’t at home i would be less concerned bc the shipment isn’t going to my home address so the parent can’t scrutinize it but bc it is now, my spending is put under more scrutiny.

anyway my parent’s low-key interrogation shook up my mental state as expected and i had to take a bit to unload on my sibling and cry a little. i know if i wasn’t at home this wouldn’t affect me as much but bc i’m at home and having to deal with it in person instead of over text or a phone call... and the damn pandemic isn’t ending anytime soon so i’m going to have to stay at home for the indefinite future. it’s not like i have a ton of shit i want to buy but i don’t want to have to deal with this trigger every few months (last purchase was back in maybe september or so towards a book publishing kickstarter which i guess bc it was only $15 my parent didn’t kick up too much of a fuss abt since technically i still don’t have the ebook i paid for). i’m not purchasing any christmas presents for friends or anyone so i don’t have that as a cover or anything. but the thing is even once i leave home i have little confidence i’ll be able to be independent and my sibling told me it’ll take a few years for me to get a grasp on things but idk. it just feels so far away in the future and i can’t envision my present self with no motivation or willpower to do it even though i mean when push comes to shove i’ll get it done i suppose. i know the rational outsider’s answer would be ‘well why don’t you start working on that better future self now?’ and i’m like great fucking suggestion and i have nothing to argue against that. i just literally cannot envision my future at this point, even if i act on my vague dream of doing art as a job. maybe once i fucking finish these finals and this quarter i’ll be able to think more clearly but idk. as i said in my last post, i really need to consider seeing a therapist bc being at home and having to handle being under my parents’ control again is really doing a number on me esp as essentially a NEET (partially false since i’m still in edu but i really do be feeling like that since i feel so useless and dependent on my parents at my age when i know others my age are slightly more independent).

i feel like this ended up me rambling about essentially the same things i ramble abt whenever i talk abt my mental health the past few years and idk how much this actually helped unload the burden on my mental state. i just wish i didn’t have to have this trigger bc i would’ve just made the purchase and then not think much abt it until i receive the package. but now i have to have this concern for the future on top of the fucking deadlines i have in the next 2 days.

[karaj]

whenever i think about jewish women who escaped the nazis, who escaped the flood, who got out of egypt, i think: i would need to cut my nails. i got my last manicure for awhile five fridays ago--a school day that had been abruptly cancelled when school was cancelled, indefinitely--while alice was at the home of her best friend. the mom and i take a jewish parenting class together, and twenty years ago, we were colleagues at a fashion magazine: i got promoted, but couldn’t make the transition from assistant who walked the boss’s dogs to actual writer until i found my own replacement. i convinced my editor-in-chief that she was the one by showing him a picture of her in a fancy, now-defunct publication that had just named her one of the hundred most eligible bachelorettes in new york city, and told him that she was friends with the hilton sisters. they used to dance on tables at our parties.

“we rehearse for this all the time” is the headline that ran in a jewish newspaper in march. the story, about how holocaust survivors are dealing with the coronavirus, was--funnily enough--written by another friend from my fashion magazine days. we worked together the summer i started grad school on the special issue of us weekly that was funding my radical feminist education: she would tell me about the documentary she was making about her mom, a holocaust survivor who died without telling her daughter she had escaped a concentration camp, and about sending her three children to a jewish school. then we would discuss whether we preferred the photo of drew barrymore with short or long hair. sending alice to a jewish school has been the highlight of my adult life, and not just because it reunited me with fashion people, who i still find funny, more so in small doses. it has been a joy to watch her act out exodus the same way she acts out frozen 2 (“i’m god, dad,” she told marc. “i’m the pyramids. build me.”). it has been a joy to watch her become a person in the context of her own moral and educational tradition, and to mine it myself to rethink past feminist intellectual critiques--of linear time, philanthropy, individuality, agency, the nuclear family, institutions themselves--that, once radical, had become stale. to aerate key feminist concepts, like freedom. 

the night after i got my nails done we left for the house that marc, far more sober about money now that he’s a parent, has spent the last few years threatening to sell. here, we did a virtual shabbat with alice’s class; emailed with our rabbis; watched our friend rebecca host a children’s service on facebook live. she told the kids to bring their teddy bears, and brought her own three-year-old’s teddy bear, saying isn’t it cool how we are all like bears now, staying home and hibernating until it’s time to go back into the world. yesterday i watched the school director teach alice’s class over zoom during passover break--a week she was supposed to have off, a holiday about freedom and its costs, about feeling the way the pain of others reduces our own joy, about the necessity of passing our history on to our children. she and her husband are both the children of survivors.  

during a virtual playdate i heard her friend ask, “alice, are you doing shabbat tonight?” “mom,” alice yelled from the other room, “are we doing shabbat?” “yes!” i yelled back. i don’t remember ever thinking about her mom being jewish during those years we worked together and i am willing to bet that neither one of us was staying inside on friday nights blessing candles; but it is heartwarming, to say the least, to watch our daughters celebrating shabbat together during a global pandemic. during a global pandemic, i am very happy to have shabbat to celebrate. 

[hereisisa]

Bob Iger Is Retaking Control of the Walt Disney Company as They Face the Current Crisis 

Not too long ago, Disney announced that its CEO, Bob Iger would be stepping down from his CEO role and assuming an executive chairman position, leaving Bob Chapek, the former chairman of Disney Parks, Experiences and Products, as the new Chief Executive Officer for the company.

We just learned that Iger is returning to the company during the current pandemic, “reasserting control and reimagining Disney as a company with fewer employees and more thermometers” according to the New York Times.

Iger’s departure seemingly coincided with the beginning signs of the pandemic in China, seeing the Disney Parks overseas face closure early on. However, the decision to step down was not withdrawn, and Iger and Chapek continued their leadership relay without hesitation. That is, until now.

Speculation quickly arose with many wondering if there was an unspoken reason why Iger would not continue in his role as CEO and manage the current crisis that was looming.

In fact, people close to Mr. Iger and the company said in interviews that the real question wasn’t whether he saw the crisis coming — but whether his focus on burnishing his own legacy and assuring a smooth succession left him distracted as the threats to the business grew. – Ben Smith, NYT

However, Iger reassured the public in interviews that there was no hidden agenda, no surprises, and nothing odd about his departure.

Fast forward to a current reality, where the Walt Disney Company is facing the biggest interruption the company has ever faced, and Iger is taking back the reigns; just a few short weeks after stepping down.

In an email conversation with the NYT, Iger shared: “A crisis of this magnitude, and its impact on Disney, would necessarily result in my actively helping Bob [Chapek] and the company contend with it, particularly since I ran the company for 15 years!”

The current condition of the company looks dire. With furloughs continuing to be announced, projects canceled, cruise ships docked, and the theme parks worldwide shut down indefinitely.

Mr. Iger is now intensely focused on remaking a company that will emerge, he believes, deeply changed by the crisis. The sketch he has drawn for associates offers a glimpse at the post-pandemic future: It’s a Disney with fewer employees, leading the new and uncertain business of how to gather people safely for entertainment.

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