#and they dont get it either. none of my friends have lost their parents and especially havent seen someone die | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

leafcabbage · 10 months

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OKOKOK

yes, each universe has their own tommy and tubbo and rip-anboo

in tommy’s universe (#1), he and tubbo were close before meeting ranboo but after meeting them, it was rare that any of them were seen apart. i picture his universe to be very picture-perfect, snappy colors and clean lines. all of his relationships are so seemingly perfect, but with tubbo and ranboo it really actually IS for once. there’s no arguements, no hangups. they are all as perfectly close as can be, like they’re pulled by gravity together to form this brightest star. tommy’s past is undeniably messy in a world where clean perfection is commonplace, and he finally feels complete with his trio.

after ranboo dies, both tommy and tubbo are crushed. it doesn’t take long for tommy to reveal his identity to tubbo, and while he’s accepted with tiredly open arms there’s little comfort in it. while they are still friends, undeniably close, he cant imagine his life ever being as perfect as it was for those six months that they knew ranboo, and tubbo knows it too.

in tubbo’s universe (#2), he and tommy were on and off friends that were eventually tied together by ranboo- they were the glue really holding the two of them together. tubbo’s world is a lot darker than tommy’s (#1)- muddy colors, consistent rain. ranboo was able to part the clouds for him and tommy, in a relationship where they loved him like the sun and each other like drinking buddies. it’s not that they weren’t close, but more that they were brought together by a common thread.

when ranboo died, tubbo almost instantly is ripped from tommy’s company. he takes this to mean that maybe they weren’t ever as close as he hoped, though really it was tommy’s way of coping. having lost the light of his life and the next closest moon, the city went without a spiderman for a year. he was devastated. eventually he returned to clean up the mess he had left but he never, ever got over it.

in ranboo’s (#3) universe, he doesn’t know tubbo or tommy well. they have a ‘say hi in the hallway’ kind of relationship; due to him never having to be saved by spiderman, they dont have much reason to talk. ranboo’s universe is softly bright, like there’s consistent dappled light with a little bit of haze. he would like to get to know either of them better but views them as almost too good for him.

he has lost both of his parents in the same accident as the books- unrelated to any supervillains, just an unfortunate circumstance. he still experiences seizures, which was what he attributed his spidey-senses too for over a year. out of fear that his health was getting worse, he began to isolate himself more and more where he eventually noticed the other changes that had come about at similar times and eventually became spider-pog. he does not believe that he can truly save anyone as he is, even with radioactive powers, which is a large contributer to his under-appearence as spider-pog. for the most part before meeting tommy (1) and tubbo (2), he dealt with civil disputes in cases where the police may have overlooked the situations due to lack of violence. he wasn’t un-helpful, but he did save most of the crime-fighting for those he thought were more suited for it.

none of the boys have met their alternate universe counterparts. in the case of tommy’s world, the boys are scared tubbo (1) would put pieces together about an alternate ranboo. in tubbo’s world, he has not made up with tommy (1) and does not feel the need to reconnect with him (just yet?)

im. so. autistic. about. this. i am VIBRATING im LOSING IT oh my GOD okay okay okay

first of all. im now imagining ranboo having spidey sense go off and them being like "oh god is this a new aura thing. am i gonna have a seizure" and when they dont theyre like "oh was that a new kind of seizure? i should tell a doctor" and then they dont tell a doctor. ever.

seconds of all. LOVE the descriptions of how each of their universes look. like i LOVE that so much its so perfect holy shit. i can imagine it so vividly. i especially love what you chose for ranboo !!!!

universe 1's relationship between tommy and tubbo is making me CRAZY btw. losing ranboo... having each other but its not the same... and comparing that to tubbo losing tommy after ranboo dies in universe 2... god i love the comparisons of how grief hits them... how sometimes it does tear people apart. like obviously they had a different relationship from the start, but still.

oh this is just making me think like... when ranboo finds out about tommy and tubbo's ranboos, and about what happened, i think they would just be so sure that all they are is a chance for tommy and tubbo to do things right. theyre a do-over, something to alleviate some guilt, its not about them as an individual, its about them being a ranboo. i guess im assuming here that tommy and tubbo would Not tell ranboo about the versions of them that died. but i can totally imagine ranboo asking why they cant see tommy and tubbos universes, and the boys are especially adamant about ranboo not seeing tommy's just in case they happened to meet universe 1's tubbo... that would be Bad

but yeah i think if ranboo found out about other ranboos, they wouldnt want to even see tommy and tubbo anymore, at least for a while. they thought they finally had people who cared about them for who they are but no. no they were just there to make the two feel better about themselves.

#also rip-anboo im SCREAMING #spiderverse drdi au #spiderverse spoilers #cabbage answers #sappholopodding #i realize i didnt ask any questions here but if you have thoughts based on what im saying PLEASE SHARE !!! though ill probably go to bed-#-soon but will reply ASAP if thats the case

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gryffindormarveltwilight · 2 years

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Hogwarts Champion Part 4 - Sirius Black x Reader

A/N: Here is Part 4, i am not overly happy with chapter but needed a bridge chapter! It is a bit shorter than the last parts as well. As always any feedback or suggestion or request please let me know! x

Masterlist:

Part 3

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Warnings: injury, fluff

Time slowed for the four marauders staring at their best friend who was being lifted onto a stretcher and carried to the hospital wing. The follow suit behind remus picking up the golden egg that was left behind. As everyone arrived at the hospital wing they put Y/N onto one of the beds. The healers were quick to close the curtains around her as they examined her. Sirius and James moved forward so they could try and catch a glimpse of Y/N laying in the bed. McGonagall was quick to step in front of them.

“Boys, I know you want to be with her but let them do their job.” She told them in a sad voice.

“But…”

“No buts Mr Potter, take Mr Black and the others back to the common room, if there is any news you will be the first to know okay.” The boys nodded and grab Sirius’ are dragging him out of the hospital wing. As they exited the doors Sirius spoke for the first time.

“I am going to wait here,”

“Pads you heard what Minnie said.”

“I know Moony but I cannot leave her.”

James spun toward Sirius an angry look on her face.

“So what now you dont want to abandon my sister! Our best friend! But you were fine abandoning her for the last few weeks to what run off with Marlene!”

“James…..” Remus tried to calm him down.

“No Remus, he ignored her, he hurt her.”

“WE ALL DID.” Remus yells everyone looking at him.

“We all did in one way or another, she was feeling lost, insecure, unworthy, its why she entered this contest in the first place.”

“What?” The other three boys muttered.

“I found out over the summer, i found her upset in her room on weekend when we were staying over, she told me everything was starting to wear her down. The constants comparisons to you feeling like she was never good enough never making your parents proud enough, Sirius that girl is so head over heels for you and all she did was watch you flirt with every other girl that is not her, then when she finally gets a boy interested she gets dumped for someone else or cheated on, her whole Hogwarts life she has felt second best to everyone! And none of us noticed! Then she finally does something for her and her best friend ignores her and her brother yells at her!”

“W-we didn’t know.” James whispers

“Yeah what great friends we are.” Peter whispers “she does everything for us and we didn’t notice she was having a hard time.”

Remus nods and leaves the boys Peter following quickly behind. James and Sirius looked at eachother before taking a seat on a step near the hospital wing.

“How did we not know.” James mutters.

“We were too busy to notice the best thing we have in our life was struggling. We have a lot to make up for.”

“That we do. Sirius have you every seen Y/N use that much power before.”

“No Prongs, I grew up around some of the most powerful wizard families and I have never seen anyone use power like that.”

Before James could reply Minnie burst through the doors.

“Ahh Mr Potter, Mr Black i should have known you would be here still.”

James and Sirius quickly stood and ran over to her not saying anything.

“She looks as though she will be okay, now it is just a matter of her waking up.”

“B-but she is okay.”

“Yes Mr Potter, she has a few broken ribs, a broken arm and cuts and bruises as for why she won’t wake up we believe it may have to do with the show of power she displayed.”

The boys nodded breathing a sigh of relief,

“You can go sit with her, i will not be the one to keep you from her.”

The boys walked into the hospital wing both pulling up a chair on either side holding Y/Ns hand.

SIRIUS POV

One Week Later

It had been a week since Y/N went up against the dragons and she still hadn’t woken up, James and I stayed by her side not wanting to leave her alone, we only left to shower and eat and when we left we made sure Remus or Peter sat with her. Minnie had allowed us to not go to class considering Y/N was family so long as we did our homework which Remus got for us. No one could tell us why she hadn’t woken up but everyone was sure it had to do with the amount of magic she used, we bad started doing our own research into how she used that much magic, after all James was her twin and never showed any sign of being that powerful and she had never shown those signs either. Sure the Potter Twins were two of the most powerful students in our class but Y/N showed a different type of power no one had seen before, we even wrote to Mr and Mrs Potter and they didn’t have any ideas either.

I was sitting next to Y/N James had been dragged away by Lily to go eat in the Great Hall, I was reading a book on element witches as i held her hand when i suddenly felt her squeeze my hand. I all but threw the book onto the next bed as i clasped my other hand around hers and she squeezed it again, I looked around to see if anyone was near by when i saw my brother.

“Reg!” I yelled, and my brother turned to look at me with a glare until he saw the panic on my face, “Please go get James and the others.” He just nodded and ran to the great hall. I sat there staring at Y/N hoping this meant she was waking up.

James POV

Lily had come into the hospital wing where i was sitting with my twin. This last week i hadn’t spent much time with anyone other than Sirius and a sleeping Y/N. Lily all but dragged me out to the Great Hall to eat a proper meal claiming that Y/N would be angry if I didn’t look after myself.

“James! James!” I was broken from my thoughts as i looked up at a concerned Lily.

“What Lils?”

“Please try to eat.” I noticed that my food sat in front of me untouched.

“I-I can’t what if she doesnt wake up.” I heard my voice break and so did everyone around me. All of a sudden we were all pulled away from the conversation as we heard Regulus Black crash into a student running into the Great Hall. We heard him mumble a quick apology as he kept running, he came to a stop in front of us, trying to catch his breath.

“S-sirius, Y/N, waking up.” I jumped out of my seat upon making sense of Regulus’ incoherent sentence, running out of the Great Hall followed by Remus, Peter and Regulus. When we finally made it to the hospital wing we were greeted with the long awaited sight of Y/N sitting up smiling with Sirius next to her tears rolling down his face while he smiles.

Y/N POV

I felt something heavy in my hand, out of muscle memory I gave it a small squeeze, i then heard a thud and then more weight on my hand, so i squeezed it again. Then i heard something that sounded like yelling, though i couldn’t make out who or what was being said. My eyelids felt like they weighed a tonne however i forced them open taking in my surroundings. The hospital wing. I then sat up to see Sirius sitting on a chair next to my bed tears rolling down his cheek as holding onto my hand like a lifeline while looking at the ground head resting on our hands.

“Well you look like crap Pads.” He whipped his head around to look at me and a smile spread across his lips, before i knew it he smashed his lips against mine.

“Not that i am complaining but what was that for.”

“Don’t ever worry me like that again Y/N, watching you fall from that broom after taking on a dragon. I have never been so worried.” I look at him closer than before noticing a bit of stubble growing around his face, hair tied back, red and puffy eyes,

“How long?”

“A week,” i took a deep breath,

“Guess that explains the little beard you have going on.” I laughed and he giggled as well.

“A week in a coma and you are poking fun at me. Y/N we need to talk.” We were interrupted before Sirius could say anything else by four boys crashing still at the door, i saw my disheveled looking twin at the front of the group surprise and then shock on his face as he runs toward me squishing me in a tight hug.

“J-James i cant breathe.” I giggle as he pulls away,

“Sorry,” he mumbles. Remus and peter are next over giving me quick gentle hugs all of them have glazed over eyes full of unshed tears,

“Gosh anyone would thing you guys were worried about me.”

“What gave that away.” I hear a giggle from behind them.

“Reg what are you doing here?” I ask a small smile on my face. All the boys tense it was no secret they were not regulus biggest fans. They thought he was a pureblood fanatic like his parents, what they didnt know was Reg and I had become friends in recent years, the other thing they didnt know was i helping Reg try and escape his parents we just hadnt figured out a plan yet.

I could see Reg contemplating his answer.

“I was walking past the hospital when you started waking up Sirius asked me to get James.”

“Well its nice to see you, thank you for getting my brother.” He nodded and walked away.

“That was weird, why would a slytherin check up on you.” Sirius asked.

“Maybe your brother was concerned and thought you would go even more mad if i didnt wake up.” I joked though Remus was the only one who laughed.

“Well boys I think we should let Y/N rest.” Remus said breaking the silence before he and peter gave me a quick hug and started walking out.

“I will be back later okay sis?”

“I would expect nothing less, can you write to mum and dad tell them i am okay?”

He nods giving me a kiss on the forehead and following the other to.

“Want to tell me whats going round in your head Siri?”

“I thought I lost you twice, and that you had died not knowing how i feel about you.”

“Would how you feel have anything to do with you ignoring me since i got selected.” I say with a little bit of anger behind it, Sirius lowers his head and nods a little.

“Talk Pads tell me what you are thinking.”

“I Love You Y/N, hearing your name being called out for a deadly tournament i got so scared, then remus telling us how you dont feel worthy of being our friend and pretty much that you don’t know how proud we are of you or how we would crumble without you and that you have been struggling and none of us, that I haven’t noticed that, watching you take on a dragon thinking it killed you with fire, seeing you use an enormous amount of power then falling off the broom landing you in a coma, i feel like i failed you.” Sirius finally took a breath.

“I love you too Sirius.” His head snapped up making eye contact with me.

“Really after everything i just said.”

“Yep after everything. But you have a girlfriend remember.”

“I broke it off with her.”

“Really when?”

“The night you were selected.”

I stared at him blankly that was over three weeks ago now and i hadn’t noticed.

“Why didn’t you tell us.”

“I was scared and you were already stressed and needed to look after yourself.”

I grip his hand slightly tighter.

“When you are out of here we are going on a real date.”

“I would love that.”

“Maybe we can go to the Yule Ball together?”

“The what?”

#sirius black series #sirius black x y/n #sirius black imagine #sirius black x fem!reader #sirius black x reader #sirius x y/n #sirius orion black #sirius black #marauders x reader #marauders #harry potter universe

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walnutcookie · 1 year

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please write a ramble abt how fucked up roguefort is /nf

Ong . On it boss. Salutes

i love playing around with the concept that they have two faces: phantom bleu and their secret identity (who i just call roquefort). we know that phantom bleu is all an act because 1) i mean it makes sense nobody can just Live like that 24/7 but MRE IMPROTTNTLU 2) we see little bits and pieces of them through their little Urk! s and the time where waljut is like HEY REVEAL YOUR TRUE IDENTITY like Girl. tthe little hints to their lore and. Oua

none of this is confirmed its more just my fanon interpretation of them but Girl they are so fucked up . I have a whole timeline built for them of like how phantom bleu came to be and stuff but i dont wanna talk about it here because i wanna turn it into a comic/animation and let people theorize before i talk abt it HZBZKSB BUT LIKE. Girl. Theyve always had shit self confidence (probably their shitty parents are to blame for that) but after phantom bleu came along it got so much worse. probably the only reason why theyre Actually in a decent state of physical health is because they need to be able to do their heists . cause otherwise theyd probably neglect themself (either because they dont want to care for themself or they forget to do things). theyve put phantom bleu on such a pedestal, the only way that people will actually love them, that they think their own life is Meaningless

like. god. This fake character theyve created, this one big play theyve put on, people actually love them for it. and girl theyre dying to have that attention. as time passes they love roguefort cookie more and more, at the same time despising themself. what good are they? theyre useless. they take up space in their cousin cheesecakes mansion. they dont even pay rent (well not through actual money) they just take up space. they dont have an actual job. they dont have friends, cheesecake is their only real family (their other family being a grumpy cat and a sentient cape L)

they hate themself soo much its insane . they avoid getting too close to people for the pure reason that if someone finds out what theyre really like then everything is over. the mystery is all gone, theyre revealed to be a lazy good for nothing waste of space whos only good at playing pretend and watching lala land. thats what scares them the most, out of everything else. thats what keeps them up at night. so they close themself off ! avoid giving out personal information, hide every emotion with a mischievous smirk.

during phantom raven theyre at their highest (and at the same time close to their lowest.) they love roguefort cookie because everyone else loves them, and hating roquefort because nobody loves them. and then eventually realize . this is not love! nobody really loves them. theyre getting attention for the character they play, and that will never change. theyll forever be a nobody, recognized only for their talent, never for who they are.

then after their watch is auctioned off, they snap. they cant crawl out of this hole theyve dug, but maybe if they dig deeper theyll reach the other side? their only goal is to turn back time, back to before their family died, so maybe they can please them this time and theyll have someone to love them (Their parents are assholes btw theyll nevr be satisfied with roque)

roquefort is a puppet. theyve created a monster thats come to life, and its taken over their body. they could stop at any time, of course, but that means theyd be losing their only source of attention. so they keep doing it, even if it feels more like a chore at this point because They just dont know what else to do theyve lost control and phantom bleu is too big of a name to stop now

but i give them a happy ending in my fanon becquse i would Cry every time i think about them otherwise HZVZKHWF

#rambles of madness

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fanstuffrantings · 5 months

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Bought to ramble a bit about Blake and Bumbleby in my rwby rewrite. Might be a bit long but I'm thinking of angst and romance so let me ramble (for anyone reading note that in this rewrite i dont have faunus racism but faunus still exist):

Contemplating the idea of double agent Blake who only ever smiles a hand full of times in the first few volumes of the series, and specifically most of them are times when Yang flirts with her/distracts her from the guilt of what she's doing.

Moments where Yang is being friendly and flirty that slowly shift into something that's clearly deeper than Blake can accept because technically she's still with Adam. Because the idea of letting herself fall for and date Yang when she knows what she's doing will hurt a lot of people and deeply betray everyone keeps her embroiled in guilt.

When Yang loses her arm trying to help Blake without knowing Blake has just severed her ties with Adam finally as him and his Grimm, his cult help Cinders group take over beacon. Blake knowing she'll never be able to forgive herself for leading to this and secretly hoping Yang doesn't either because what happiness does she deserve if anyone who cares about her will meet the same fate.

This idea of Yang warring between hating Blake for what she did and being ready to forgive her for everything because she misses her. Meanwhile Blake is continuing to try and race as far away from her mistakes as she can while an odd pull brings her to a city her parents left that she barely remembers. Blake who figures herself out in the homecity of her lost parents with the help of her friend Sun and her aunt and uncle she barely knew. Blake who is aware that she won't be able to take the next step of her life until she deals with Adam, yet also knowing she's ready to try and start making ammends to those she wronged.

We get a RWBY reunion that's tense instead of instantly happy. Ruby is happy to see everyone. Weiss knew Blake's constant disappearing act was suspicious but was willing to put suspicions aside thinking she was wrong. Yang who is still wrestling on how to feel about everything, who isn't flirty and jokey with Blake anymore but watching her, always out of arms reach and expecting the worst.

Through these complex feelings Blake and Yang still manage to save each other. They're out of Sync and fumbling more than usual but even so Yang isn't willing to let Blake get hurt and Blake is taking it upon herself to do everything possible to earn a second chance. She's waking up trying to help Yang during her night terrors, trying to be encouraging when Yang gets frustrated, helping Ruby mediate more, and even tabling any anger she'd normally have at Weiss's snips.

When Blake and Yang take down Adam it's not a huge romantic moment between them, it's Blake reclaiming herself and refusing to let his cycle of pain pass beyond her, and it's Yang fighting her phantom. Blake buries Adam so the man she knew before his corruption can be laid to rest finally, and is ready to take that next step. And for the first time in months, Yang has found enough peace to herself take a step towards reconciliation.

Things aren't perfect, trust isn't completely restored, but it's a start. And it's one Blake is eager to accept as we see their dynamic shift. There's none of the flirtation from Beacon, but they're edging the territory of when Yang realized she wanted more. They notably sit up together more often as they talk and joke, both finally explaining what happened in the months their group was separated. Blake makes a comment about one day wanting Yang to meet her family in the heat of the moment and the air is tense, electric, before old habits take over and Blake attempts to wave things away.

The two of them begin to have more fun in battle as they work together, compliment each others new looks like they do in Atlas. And from there their story heads on a track we all know.

#rwby #rwby rewrite #molten rambles #if you dont like my rewrite thats totally fine #this is for me and me alone #i think the bees are pretty solid but i wanted to adjust some things

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effervescentdragon · 3 years

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Finwean descendants as things me and my friends have said at one point or another

(Idk if this has already been done, but here, and its a bit long.)

Celebrimbor: I will either write out the whole of liver compensation mechanism or drown my liver in methanol, there is no middle ground.

Maedhros: He's like, sexy and scary. Sexy when he's in his doctors coat. Scary when he starts talking about post-mortem dissections like he's talking about winning a bag of gold. Whic is also kinda sexy. Also, I may not be as straight as I thought I was.

Aredhel, probs about Galadriel: Her imagined suffering makes my girl-parts tingle. What are you suffering from, bitch, your parents paid for you to spend a month in fucking Tuscany?!

Fëanor: If I figure out a way to intravenously give myself caffeine I will be a God. In fact- *starts muttering calculations*

Turgon: *grabs my chair and turns me around to start examining my neurological reflexes* *ignores me, then mutters* I think you may be dead.

Celegorm: *takes a baseball bat, climbes on a table and breaks a bird in cage chirping thing we bought for laughs* THE FUCKING BIRD WOULDNT SHUT UP SO I SHUT IT UP PERMANENTLY!!

Finrod: I will NOT tell you where I've hidden that abomination of a curtain! You all are peasants and have NO STYLE, IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS MADE OUT OF VOMITED KIDNEY STONES!

Finarfin: *wakes from an impromptu nap on a textbook* OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO FEED THE FROG! *goes back to sleep* (he has no frog)

Galadriel: Not to be a bitch, but-

Aegnor: Every time you say that, we know you're definitely being a bitch.

Angrod: The BIGGEST bitch, in fact.

Fingon: I will let you put glitter in my hair and beard only if you promise to bring me the biggest bottle of your grandmas homemade shampoo there is, and an even bigger bottle of your grandpas schnapz.

Elrond: So you mean to tell me you're gonna choose? Why? Just bang them both, non-monogamy is a thing. The best thing ever to be honest.

Caranthir: Nope, I'm not playing cards with you assholes anymore. You *points to Curufin* keep cheating, you *points to Maedhros* are drunk, and you *points to Maglor* dont even know the rules of the game!

Curufin: Do you think if I tweak my stethoscope a little I can overhear their strategy through the door?

Idril: And then I told him "I dont need you to have this baby, it's my fucking baby, and I have inheritance, and a LOT of it!"

Maeglin: I am going off to fucking Russia and everything there will be fucking amazing and I will finally be appreciated as I should be! (when he came back after a year, spoilers - it wasn't)

Amras: You know what? Fuck this printer, and fuck all of you *takes the printer and throws it through a window, where it smashes on the ground*

Amrad: Well I aint cleaning that shit, brother. Also, I'm your ride home, and im going in 10 minutes, so chop-chop. *sips coffee*

Fingolfin: Ever since we got the third kid, I legit have no time for pop-culture anymore. The last thing I watched was 5 mintes of Guardians of the Galaxy porn parody, and then the baby started crying and I lost my will to live.

Lalwen: Is that the one you sent me over email?

Anaire: Yup :)

Lalwen: Damn that was good.

Anaire: *whispers* I'm sending you the Captain America one I found tonight. That one's even better.

Findis: Gods I'm just? So pretty?

Nerdanel: Could you please stop looking at yourself in the mirror and hold this fucking pipe so I can fix it before it bursts?

Gil-Galad: As the president of this club-

Celebrimbor: We're a commune.

Galadriel: Also who voted for you? I sure as fuck didn't. I voted for me.

Elrond: I love you, honey, but sit down. We're a democracy.

Celebrian: None of you understand. If I don't go and get drunk tonight, I won't be able to fake an illness tomorrow, and my mother wants me to meet the son of her friends so we can "hang out", and I have the ORL exam on Tuesday, and I dont care how much money that dude has, I'm not dating someone my mother thinks is appropriate! So fucking drink, I didnt bring this gin for you to look at it!

Maglor: You may think you're good at this. You aren't. I, on the other hand, am amazing at this. *deepthroats an icecream* No gag reflex, bitch. OH FUCK, BRAIN FREEZE!

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stoneworldsimp · 3 years

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what’s mine is not yours —a request

platonic senku x reader

warnings: swearing, anxiety, talk of insecurities and worries, gender dysphoria

your name!

YOUR NAME!

your hands slapped to your ears, eyes shut tight. i can’t take this so early in the morning.

the voices from your dream had lingered longer than you would have liked. it reminded you it was time to face another day, to endure another long long day and night of hearing the wrong things.

maybe if i went and lived on my own again…i wouldn’t have to deal with it—no. senku needs me. he needs me…what does he need me for again? you rolled onto your stomach; your pillow rustled as you flopped it on top of your head. he doesn’t need me. i’d rather be lonely than hear everyone say some bullshit about me.

everyone in the village knew you as a miss. yuzuriha made you more neutral clothes upon request, but everyone assumed you were tomboyish. luckily, no one read more into it; it was nice to dress comfortably, but it was like no one else understood. why were they still calling you a girl? and the older folks, you knew they meant well! but you couldn’t help but feel like their constant “sweet girl”s were making fun of you at this point.

i can’t do it, i can’t do it, they’re making fun of me right now, as i think. as i exist!

you felt a tear trickle down the side of your nose.

oh, you’re kidding. crying? again? is this—

a knock on your door halted your thoughts; you quickly flipped back and sat up in your bed on the ground of your hut, and wiped your face quickly. you lightly slapped your cheeks to stop yourself from continuing crying.

“yeah.”

“it’s me. can i come in?”

senku’s voice brought some sort of relief; personally you felt it was better for him to come in at such a time than anyone else.

you took a deep breath. “sure, but i just woke up. i’m staying under my blanket.”

senku laughed behind the door. a small shove was made and it opened, revealing a quite chipper senku. he liked to come early in the morning when the rest of the village was quiet.

his smirk faltered once he saw your face. you believed you hid your crying well; you didn’t think to check your red eyes or stinging cheeks.

“what’s wrong?” he asked, his words much gentler than when he asked to come in.

damn. how could i not realize i was so obvious?

with a deep breath, you whispered, “senku.. we’re pretty good friends, right?”

he snickered. “of course we are, way more than that asshole gen.”

his voice was closer. you laughed as well, and wiped your eyes clear. he slowly walked over and sat down on the floor next to you. senku was looking at you, really looking at you; it was intense, almost if he was making sure his closeness or anything about his presence wasn’t bothering you.

“okay…i’m about to say a lot of stuff. let me know if you need me to explain more, or if i’m talking too much. or—“

your words halted as senku put a hand on your shoulder, a smile light on his face. “all ears.”

you smiled back softly. “okay. so—back in..our time,”you gestured between the two of you with your hands, “i told my family and friends i was, uhm… nonbinary. like i don’t feel male or female, i use they/them pronouns; all that good stuff. still feel that way now. and, for quite some time, they didn’t believe me. not in a direct ‘you’re lying’ way, but more of ‘i don’t understand it therefore you shouldn’t understand it’ type of thing. i got a lot of shit from people who weren’t my friends, too. but with my friends’ support and getting more confidence after coming out, my parents were able to kinda see it. but yeah, it took quite some time. probably like.. eight months? even then, i had to remind them constantly, ‘not a daughter. please don’t call me she or he. please don’t call me a woman.’ but we were getting there. and right when we got petrified, right when it happened, i saw the look on my mom’s face.

“we were talking about me and my identity and it was like something had clicked in her brain. like, she knew exactly what i meant and how i felt when i said what it meant to be nonbinary. i don’t even remember what i said specifically, but i remember her expression as if she were standing in front of me right now. i was so hopeful i’d see her again, her expression got me through my petrification and even helped me break out of it. but of COURSE, i didn’t ever see her again after i woke up. and then i almost lost my own sense of self after being by myself for probably a year.. i was under the assumption i’d never meet another person again, so when i did run into your village—i had this gross feeling of dread. and i realized it was the same feeling that basically lived inside of me before i came out.”

you sat up straighter and looked away from senku. “it’s like, i have to rebuild my identity all over again. people always say you shouldn’t care about what other people say, but i can’t help it. i’m a sensitive person. i get hurt easily, no matter how hard i try to thicken my skin. they all, they all just use ‘she’ and ‘her’ and ‘that girl’ so often, it feels like they’re making fun of me, like they’re constantly telling me i’m not who i say i am. and i can’t tell them senku, being nonbinary was confusing for so many people in our time, i hardly believe they’ll understand it now. sure, my parents were fine, but it took a while before they got it. i can only imagine how long it’ll take for everyone here.”

senku was quiet. have you over explained yourself? was it too overbearing? in all honesty you’d only been good friends with senku a short while; you should have waited at least a little bit longer before letting him in on something so personal—

“it all, it all kind of makes sense now.”

huh?! “what?”

“what you told me, i think i get it now.”

you gave him a look up and down. it was possible, but you didn’t think there was much of a chance that senku would be so..cool with it. not right away. you expected some form of silent treatment for at least a day or two, so he could collect his own thoughts.

“i’m gonna say something, and i need you to listen. yeah?”

you stared at him like your brain short-circuited. what the fuck is he gonna say to me.. oh god, he doesn’t wanna be friends anymore. but he’ll be too nice to kick me out of the village. but it is his village—

“hey, hey…are you with me?” you both sat facing each other now, and his hands rested on your shoulders.

just hear him out. “yeah. all ears.”

he smoothed your shoulders with his thumb. “you’re just as valid as everyone out there. i know you’re scared, but believe me when i say they will not be mocking you in any way. sure, it might take a while for them to understand, but theyre not going to give up just because they dont get something right away. it took me a few months to fully convince this village i could help them, and even then, there were still a few who didn’t fully understand the experiments and contraptions i made until a while later. i know that isn’t the same as your situation… but what i’m trying to say is that they will try their best to know you, the real you. they aren’t going to mock you; if anything, they’ll have lots of questions to ask you.

“also, you have me, you have gen to help out in case you don’t have the capacity to answer everything yourself. i’ve a few things about gender before the stone world, and gen definitely knows a lot of things that are relevant to it as well.

“everyone here… they’re all so eager to learn, i highly doubt they’ll be unaccepting. they’ll be curious. and they’ll be happy you’re letting them in on something that is so important.”

tears had made their way down your face and on your clothes halfway through his mini-monologue; you didn’t notice him continuously wiping them away until he was finished. “it’s going to be okay. trust me.”

with a quiet sob, you pushed yourself into his arms for a hug.

“thank you.”

you knew he wasn’t particularly one for any type of physical contact, but he gladly accepted. for the occasion, he thought. his arms slowly wrapped around your slightly shaking body as you tried to calm down. neither of you spoke for a few minutes; only your soft sniffles were heard in the hut.

“senku, i think that was the most i’ve heard you talk about something that wasn’t directly related to science,” you laughed into his neck.

he laughed back. “i had a lot saved, since there were moments i could tell you were kind of uncomfortable. i didn’t want to force you into talking about it either, so i just waited. tried to figure out what i was going to say. it had to be good.. you are one of my closest friends, after all.”

both of you embraced each other a little tighter. “i hope all of this helped, i want you to live here with none of those worries. especially after so many months of having it bottled inside.”

you nodded in response.

today.. today will be the day i tell everyone not to use what they used to call me; that won’t do at all anymore.

today, i’ll tell everyone my name.

#dr stone #dr stone x reader #senku ishigami x reader #senku x reader #ishigami senku x reader #ishigami senku #senku ishigami #dr stone imagines #dr stone scenarios #senku ishigami fluff

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wcnderlnds · 3 years

Text

safety pin the pieces of our broken hearts / bucky barnes x reader.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Description: After Steve went back to the past you’re left with the job of looking after his best friend but it isn’t as easy as it sounds. Word Count: 1358 Warnings: None. i dont think so anyway. A/N: Okaaay here we go!! part one of a Bucky series. So, uhhhh, Tony Stark is alive in this because I refuse to live in a world without him and he’s the reader’s dad for... reasons that’ll come to light later on. i’m going to v loosely follow The Falcon & The Winter Soldier ok thank you pls be kind this is my first time writing Bucky.

It felt like you’d been sat in the boring old waiting room for hours when in reality it had barely been forty-five minutes. At least your wrist was getting exercise with the amount of times you were raising it to check the time on your watch. Only fifteen more minutes to go then you’d be able to leave that dreaded place. Time seemed to drag on, the people around you irritating you more and more. It was getting to the point where you were about to stand up and yell at the woman who was tapping her fingernails against the wooden arm of the chair. Luckily, Bucky came out of his therapy session with a scowl on his face — the usual look he wore after a session. He gestured his head towards the exit to which you quickly followed him out.

“How’d it go?” You asked as the two of you walked back to the apartment you had pretty much been forced to share.

When Steve had told you his plan he knew that someone needed to take care of Bucky when he was gone and he’d bestowed that duty on you. Unfortunately, you couldn’t refuse no matter how much you’d wanted to. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Bucky because you did — you were friends or at least friendly with each other. It was more so the fact that you knew taking up that responsibility would hurt your father who just so happened to be none other than Tony Stark himself. He still held a grudge against Bucky for killing his parents — your grandparents — and you didn’t blame him but you also didn’t share the same feelings as your father. While Bucky had done some terrible things, that hadn’t been him. That had been the Winter Soldier. In your mind, Bucky and the Winter Soldier were two different people. Poor Bucky had been brainwashed into doing all the awful things he’d done and now he was living with all the guilt and memories of things that he’d had no control over. It had taken some talking with your dad but he’d decided that maybe having someone close to Bucky could at least make sure he didn’t slip again. That also meant daily updates to Tony so he could make sure you were safe. So, you and Bucky had a small apartment in New York. It wasn’t ideal but you were making it work as best you could.

“Same as always,” he shrugged his shoulders. “Wants me to talk to more people or something.”

“You know you should. Sam keeps asking me about you since you won’t answer him.”

“Don’t want to talk to him. Don’t want to talk to you most days but I have no choice on that one.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m going to ignore that because I know you don’t mean it and you’re just grumpy. Maybe consider at least texting Sam so I don’t have to be bombarded by him.”

“No,” he simply stated. “I’m taking a walk.”

Before you could protest, he was gone leaving you feeling grumpy now. You knew Bucky wasn’t in the best place right now. He was trying to make amends for all the things the Winter Soldier had done and he was processing the fact that Steve was gone. Not to mention the fact that Sam had given the shield away. That had been the one thing that had sent him into a deep pit of moodiness. At this point you were used to it.

With a sigh, you stepped into your apartment, throwing your jacket on the couch. Bucky was definitely going to give you crap for that later but you didn’t care. Letting out a heavy sigh, you threw yourself down onto the couch. Before you knew it, your eyes were closing and an unexpected nap took over you.

*****

“Seriously, (Y/N)?” Bucky’s voice woke you up. Sitting up, you rubbed your eyes with the palm of your hands to look over at your roommate who had your jacket in his hands. “We have a coat hanger right there.”

With a huff, he placed your jacket on one of the hooks and headed for the door. Your brows furrowed in confusion. Hadn’t he just got back? How long had you been asleep? “Didn’t you just get in?”

“No. I’ve been back three hours. You were just channelling your inner sleeping beauty over there,” his hand was on the door knob. “I’ve got a date so I’ll be back later, I guess.”

“A date?!” You asked sounding far more shocked than you wanted to.

“Don’t even make a comment. I’m leaving.”

And yet again before you could even say anything he was gone. Bucky was going on a date? That was new. Maybe he was taking his therapists advice after all. As happy as you were that he was trying to give himself some semblance of a normal life, it stung a little bit that he seemed to rather spend some time with anyone that wasn’t you. It was probably because of Tony. While Bucky was friendly with you he always seemed to keep his distance. He never really let you in — he never really let anyone in. Most nights you were both either sat in silence watching a movie with the odd comment here and there or in your own rooms. Conversations never went any deeper than small talk. It was something you badly wanted to change. You wanted to be to Bucky what Steve was but you knew nobody would ever fill his shoes. All you could do was try to be there for Bucky despite how he was adamant he didn’t need anyone.

It was with that thought that you stood up from the couch to make your way to your room with your phone in your hand. After sending a quick text to your dad to let him know the latest Bucky update, you changed into your PJs and got into bed.

*****

It was the loud sound of the TV that woke you the next morning. A tired yawn passed your lips as you made your way into the living room. After a stretch, you finally saw the scene in front of you. Bucky was sat on the floor, glaring at the TV with a clenched jaw. It was then that you finally saw what had him so upset. John Walker was Captain America. John Walker was claiming Steve Rogers was a brother to him. The anger bubbled up inside you, too. Without thinking, you made your way towards Bucky and the TV. After placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, you switched the TV off.

“Don’t torture yourself like that, Buck,” you said softly. It broke your heart when you noticed the hint of tears forming in his eyes but you knew he wouldn’t let them fall. It was angry tears — you didn’t blame him one bit.

“Don’t call me Buck. Only Steve can,” he shrugged your hand off his shoulder and got to his feet. “This is all Sam’s fault.”

“No, it’s not! He did what he thought was best.”

“How is giving the shield away what’s best? Steve trusted him with that and this is what he does with it? Give it to them so they could give it to... him? If he was here right now....” Bucky seethed making his way to his room with you following him.

“I don’t think you understand,” you started but was stopped when Bucky spun around to cut you off with a bag in his hand.

“I’m off to find Sam so pack a bag because I’m sure you’re going to have to follow me like the little lost puppy you are so you can send updates to that paranoid dad of yours,” a glare was shot your way before his attention was focused on stuffing clothes into his bag.

“Okay...” you said quietly. His words hurt you but you knew he was angry with Sam and the new Captain America, not you. There was no use in fighting him right now. So without a word, you made your way to your own room and followed suit.

Guess you were off to see Sam.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x stark!reader #bucky barnes imagine #fics.

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its-afucking-mess · 3 years

Text

Un-Orthodox (Chapter 7)

rebellion! coffee shops!

The other stuff

Taglist : @icouldbeyourpuppet , @mywritingonlyfans , @cheese-toastie-11 , @oro-e-diamanti , @sofckinelectric , @illicitfuck , @lasciatemi-stare , @juststalking , @petit-poussin

(if you want to be included in the taglist dont hesitate to reply to this or send an ask :D)

____________________

The artist explained and demonstrated tattoo aftercare, and you nodded furiously along. You ended up buying the recommended moisturiser they sold, even if it was probably a bit too expensive.

The entire time, Damiano was grinning like an idiot. It was obvious that he was proud that you finally stepped out of your comfort zone, doing the things you’ve been dreaming of for a while.

It wasn’t late after leaving the store when Damiano attacked you with a hug.

“ You did it! Your first act of rebellion.” You laughed. He acted like a parent.

“ I’ve never been so proud.” He wiped a fake tear when he let you down. You just smiled and held your hand awkwardly.

“ Now what?” you asked, the rush catching up to you.

“ Well,” he started. “ Let’s go grab something to eat, or drink, and we’ll decide on the rest there?”

You nodded, grabbing his hand and interlocking it with yours.

At this point it felt unnatural to not to.

Damiano didn’t comment, instead squeezing your hand lightly.

He made the point of swinging your hands dramatically as you two walked.

You’re sure he almost dislocated your shoulder. Twice.

But it’s not like you could really get mad at him, could you now?

He suggested sitting in one of the shops you passed on your way here. You followed him with blind trust, letting him take you wherever he thought was best.

You ended up in a small shop by the opposite end of the district. Turned out, none of the shops you passed offered anything but roasted coffee, and you weren’t a huge fan of it. After some consultation from Google Maps, you sat in the small air-conditioned space.

The catalogs were handed to you and immediately, the browsing started.

There was a wide variety of drinks, and the choice of a complimentary pastry for around 20 cents.

You both placed your orders, trying to be slightly obnoxious. It wasn’t either of you paying, the credit card was your parents’.

You made sure to also order something to take back for your brother.

I guess some habits die hard.

The waitress left, setting down two glasses of water. You took a sip from your own. Damiano stared his down dramatically.

“ Didn’t know you had gotten into a fight with water?” you stated sarcastically. He passed a venomous smile.

“ The glass is wet. It doesn’t feel nice on my hands, I’ll pass until it evaporates.”

You giggled quietly in your glass.

You both fell silent, the only sounds coming from behind the counter, and occasionally, from outside.

It was obvious Damiano wanted to ask something.

“ Just say it before you give me a headache.”

He furrowed his brow.

“ Didn’t know you believed in that?” He laughed.

“ Don’t change the subject.”

He sighed, looking outside the window behind you.

“ This will come off as very forward-”

You rolled your eyes. He shushed you.

“ But, I am a very curious boy.” he giggled, taking his finger away from your lips.

“ How come you’ve never kissed anyone? Not even like- a friend in a party game?”

He seemed genuinely curious (and concerned).

“ I’ve never gone to random parties really. No unsupervised time. Or friendships. Ever.”

Damiano pouted.

“ Whenever I saw friends, I had to update them constantly. They wouldn’t let it go at all, worried about any ‘unholy activities.’” you explained, doing quotation marks in the air.

“ It really ruined the mood most times, so I just didn’t go anywhere outside of school time.”

“ No extracurriculars or something?”

You shook your head.

“ Not even during school? So many kids have lost every virginity in the book at our school.” He commented.

“ Public schools vary I guess,” You tilted your glass, swishing the water around.

“ And, no one really liked ‘the Christian girl’.”

“ It’s not like you actively participated in anything religious.”

You shrugged.

“ When people hear that I went to Christian camp over the summer, they refuse to risk it.” You bit the inside of your cheek.

“ I don’t blame them really. It’s not like it could go anywhere outside of schools. Especially relationship stuff.”

Damiano clicked his tongue.

“ They missed out.” he commented. You met his eyes and smiled. He returned the smile.

The waitress was back with your order.

“ Whenever you’re ready to pay, I’ll be around somewhere. Don’t hesitate to shout if I’m outside.”

You both nodded as you tried your drinks. They were quite good, and the pastries even better. By Damiano’s look, his drink was overwhelmingly hot. You offered him your glass of water, which was dry from the outside. He gladly accepted.

“ Holy fuck.” he swore, setting the glass down. “ That was delicious, but fucking hell is it hot.”

He gave you back your glass of water.

“ Not hotter than you” you said suggestively, raising an eyebrow. He acted all flustered, whining a stop and covering his face with his hand. You laughed.

You took another sip of your drink as he dramatically panted to cool his tongue.

“ But, yeah.” you said, bringing the conversation back on track. “ No kiss, no love, no sex.”

He took a cautious sip from his drink.

“ What about you, mr. ‘My school is full of horny teenagers?’” Damiano laughed in his drink. He cleared his throat.

“ What about me?” he asked, cleaning some coffee that splashed on his nose.

“ Have you kissed anyone?”

He nodded.

“ Are you the heartthrob of the school?” you asked, and he laughed loudly.

“ Funny words.”

“ Oh, that senior boy with the long hair makes me so nervous! He looks so pretty I can’t” you said in an overly pitched voice and Damiano laughed.

“ Not at all. Not as far as I know, at least.” Both of you took a sip of your respective drinks.

“ I’ve kissed- My friends, Thomas and Victoria, and a girl because she was dared to.”

You raised your brows.

“ How come you kissed your friends? Isn’t that like, weird?”

He tucked some hair behind his ear.

“ Well, we are very close generally, so there’s no problem really. Victoria I kissed so some random guy would leave her alone when we were on a field trip.”

“ Fucking asses.” you commented. Damiano nodded in agreement.

“ Then, Thomas I kissed because some toxic dickheads were daring people on purpose to kiss other guys. I saw that as a chance to prove I’m better than them. Thomas was cool with it, but then he left when others tried to kiss him too.”

You rolled your eyes.

“ Does he look that kissable?” You took a sip. “ Tell him to hit me up.”

Damiano giggled.

“ How’s your shoulder feeling?”

You gave him a thumbs up. He returned it with a smile.

For a while, you sat in comfortable silence, enjoying your drinks. Just looking outside, seeing random people pass by with several different bags in their hands.

It was relatively quiet, and much more fun than the inside of your camp room.

Even the thought of going back to that hell-hole caused you to shiver. That camp averted you, especially now that you’ve seen the outside of it.

Damiano softly kicked you to get your attention. You turned to face him and he waved at you.

“ What are we going to do after this?” you asked, before he had the chance to say anything. He was left with his mouth half open.

“ Well, we can go back to the house, and chill out,” he suggested. “ Then at some point we have to come back to the camp.”

You bit the inside of your cheek.

“ What if we don’t.” you said. Damiano furrowed his brows.

“ Weren’t you the one who didn’t want to get yelled at?” he commented.

“ They have no one to yell at if I’m not there.”

Damiano raised his brows.

“ Then nothing.” You smiled at him.

“ So, we aren’t going back?” he asked.

“ Never in a million years.”

He nodded, a worried smile on his face.

“ What’s wrong?” you asked. He sighed.

“ It’s just- Remember when you said you could get kicked out?”

You nodded.

“ And when I offered to take you in if all comes to worst, you said ‘I wish it was that easy’?”

You nodded again, starting to see his point.

“ You are worried I’ll get in heavy trouble and you think it’ll be your fault, aren’t you?”

“ You wouldn’t have done anything ‘bad’ if I hadn’t influenced you.”

You grabbed his hand, intertwining it with yours.

“ I wouldn’t feel free if you hadn’t influenced me.” you said, rubbing soft circles on his knuckles. “ There’s two sides to everything.”

He smiled meekly.

“ I’d just feel really bad if you were out of your house because of me.”

You smacked him on the head. He let out an offended ‘ouch’.

“ It’s not like you carried me out of the camp. I wanted to tag along. I was the one that suggested not going back, not you.”

He shrugged.

“ Don’t worry your pretty head with that.”

“ Worst case, you take me in.” you said with a grin. Damiano exhaled a laugh.

You both finished your drinks, paying for them and leaving the store.

Hand-in-hand, you walked around the area. Now that there wasn’t a time restriction, you were free to browse all you wanted.

The sky had become cloudy, courtesy of the wind that had picked up. Meteorological phenomena were weird.

At least it was more bearable to walk. You wouldn’t get skin cancer so easily if you walked under the clouds.

Damiano made multiple fun comments as you walked around, all about the scattered street art, the landscape, the people.

“ The rest of the summer before camp, we’d come here a lot. Especially in that big plaza, with the marble floor. Best football matches with the kids of the area.”

You nodded along his words, making occasional comments.

“ Really? Football on marble?”

“ It was hell when it rained.”

You looked at him, shocked.

“ Did your parents really let you play football in the middle of a fucking summer storm?”

Damiano laughed.

“ That, and so much more,” he said. “ We were all little pests. They wanted us out of the house at all times.”

You laughed.

“ Don't blame them. The people wanted to relax.”

Damiano nodded in agreement.

Silence fell between you two again, as you made your way to where Damiano had parked his dad’s old motorcycle.

You checked the time on your phone. Ten past seven.

Your mind went to the pastry you were planning to get for your brother.

That ship has sailed.

The motorcycle was located. Damiano handed you one of the helmets before hopping on the motorcycle to start it.

You put your helmet on, climbing on behind Damiano, as he fastened his own.

The ride this time around was much more enjoyable, the cold breeze cooling your body down under that thick leather jacket. If only it wasn’t for safety, you would have taken it off. It was the middle of the summer, it turned you into a microwave.

A short ride uphill and you both were back in the storage room, taking off jackets and helmets. Damiano had the additional fingerless gloves.

You made your way in the living area. The house was quite breezy with the garden doors open, and the near-setting sun completed the view.

“ I’ll probably go shower, if you want anything just knock.” Damiano said, and you offered back a nod.

As he disappeared somewhere in the house, you opted to check out the place a bit. IF you were to stay here for another week or so, you wanted to know the basic floorplan. Bathroom(s), rooms, storages. It wasn’t like they were hiding a dead body here or something.

The sound of water running came from upstairs, so you decided to check out the bottom floor first.

For a holiday house in the middle of the mountain, it was very spacious.

How big was Damiano’s family?

Besides a kitchen and a living room, there was a hall that led to a guest bathroom, and a medium sized room at the end of it.

You guessed it was a guest room, for the instance of family friends or cousins visiting. Two twin beds next to each other, a dresser across from the beds with random toys on it and a drawer set between the two beds.

The walls were painted a plain beige colour. By the look of it, the walls had been repainted recently. There was a ceiling light in the middle of the room, illuminating brightly. A lamp sat on the dresser. Upon turning it on, it dimly lit the area around it.

You left the room, careful not to close the door too loud.

Back in the living area, the space was slowly getting darker. The clock hanging on top of the garden door read seven thirty. The sun would start setting anytime now.

You sighed, grabbing a glass of water from the kitchen.

Damiano appeared all of a sudden, only a towel around his waist. You didn’t even notice the water turning off.

“ You tired?” he asked, taking a bottle of water out from the fridge and opening it.

“ Mhm.” you murmured, touching the chilly glass to your cheek.

Damiano smiled, taking a sip of water.

“ Come on, let’s see if there’s anything upstairs you can change to.”

You nodded, setting the glass down next to Damiano’s water bottle, following him up the stairs.

He opened the door to a room, much like the one downstairs. It was a bit wider, and there was a bigger window. The curtains were shut.

“ I don’t know if there’s anything that interests you, most of this stuff is mine and my brother’s.” he said, digging through the big dresser by the door.

“ I don’t mind anything really.”

He nodded.

After a bit of looking, he pulled out a shirt and a pair of basketball shorts, handing them to you.

“ You play basketball?”

“ Yeah, I played for a while. Kinda just focusing on other stuff now though,” He looked through the dresser to find clothes for himself.

“ Mostly on music. I didn’t drop out for nothing.”

You shrugged, looking at the clothes he gave you. A big grey shirt and shorts branded ‘Eurobasket Roma’.

“ I’m actually,” He pulled out a shirt. “ working on making a band with my friends. We are missing a drummer, though.”

“ That sounds fun.” you commented as he pulled out a pair of shorts and closed the dresser.

“ Well, I’m leaving you to get dressed.” you said, leaving and closing the door behind you.

The bathroom was only two doors further down.

You couldn’t really shower because of your tattoo, so washing your face for now would suffice. Showering could wait for tomorrow.

The clothes Damiano gave you were quite big on you, as expected. At least they were very comfortable.

You picked up your phone, shutting it off for the night. You’d deal with mad parents sometime different.

Going downstairs, the area was even darker. You turned on a lamp by the sofa, giving the room some light, without it being overwhelming.

You just picked your glass back up from the counter, Damiano’s water bottle still there. Outside, the lamps automatically turned on as the light of the sun slowly dissipated.

Damiano was sitting on the outside sofa, a drink in hand.

He noticed you, tapping the space next to him. You sat down, curling into his side. He smiled.

“ You alright?” he asked, taking a sip from his drink.

“ All alright.” you responded with a yawn. He kissed the top of your head.

“ I hoped so.”

_____________

(part 6) / (part 8)

#måneskin #damiano x reader #damiano david #x reader #x reader fanfiction #måneskin fanfic #måneskin fanfiction

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blxetsi · 3 years

Note

Hi! Can I please request modern au hcs for Armin?

tysm for requesting !!

modern armin arlert dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!armin arlert x gn!reader

- okay so

- i think in a college setting you and armin hit it off really well

- i think you guys wouldve just accidentally kept bumping into each other, whether it be around campus, at some coffee shop, in the library

- it gets so frequent you dont even know if its a coincidence at this point, yet you cant help but hope that you seem him whenever you go out

- after ALWAYS bumping into each other and apologizing before making small talk, armin makes the first move

- mf just says "are you following me ?" to which you reply "are YOU following me ?"

- that night ends in you two exchanging numbers 🤩

- you find out that hes a humanities major, and wants to be a psychologist some day

- you also find out he has a paid internship at a research facility near the university you attend

- hes super sweet but also super humble, so he tries not to keep the subject on himself for very long, just wanting to know more about you

- as you two get closer he gets more touchy (not in a weird way)

- he starts greeting you with hugs now, and likes to have a light grip on your wrist when hes leading you through crowded hallways of the school

- he introduced you to his bestfriends and roommates, mikasa and eren, and they were really accepting !! (they already could tell armin liked you even if he didnt know himself)

- you start developing feelings for him about two months after you exchanged numbers, and you honestly felt really weird

- because this beautiful boy whos so sweet and kind and intelligent is like,, wayyyy out of your league

- armin thinks the exact same thing

- he thinks youre so cool and fun to be around, you always have the best stories to tell and are so welcoming,, its HARD not to fall for someone like you !!

- finally he gets up the courage to ask if you can come to his apartment

- and there he confesses 😳💥‼️

- you sit there shocked for a couple seconds too long because now hes freaking out like "im so sorry i didnt wanna seem creepy i just wanted to tell you how i felt you can leave or i can walk you home- wait you probably wouldnt want that but-"

- you just kind of grab his shoulders and start shaking him. before you tell him you like him too.

- the apples of his cheeks turn pink before he smiles and gives you such a tight hug !!

- hes immediately planning a date with you for when youre both free

- takes you to the local aquarium 🤩 and kisses you in front of the moon jellies (u know those big tanks with the jellyfish that are like glow in the dark ?? and the whole hallway is pitch black except for the lights from the tank ?? yeah ❤️ he kissed you THERE and it was beautiful)

- has chapped lips 😐 sorry i dont make the rules

- has a habit of picking them when hes working or lost in thought

- doesnt mean you stop kissing him tho

- is the kind of guy that will genuinely get worried if you send an "sos" type message. gets out of his own class just to speedwalk (he isnt gonna break the rules and run in the halls 🙄) and come to your class just to see if youre okay

- looks at you like 😐 when you explain you just need him to get you an iced coffee from that shitty coffee place in the cafeteria

- does it anyway even though hes annoyed 😌✨

- will grumble about paying him back for the five dollars he just spent on you while you kiss him over and over again in thanks

- doesnt let you pay him back though smh 🙄

- loves to give back hugs

- will do it while youre working, or while youre doing the dishes

- if youre shorter than him he'll rest his head on your and just smell your hair

- if youre taller than him hes shoving his face inbetween your shoulder blades

- is such a lightweight drunk its not even funny

- none of his friends are tbh 🙄

- the first time you saw him drunk was when eren dragged you guys out to a party their friend was hosting (literally interrupted your cuddle time in armins bed to THROW OFF THE BLANKETS and say "you guys are coming with me 😁👍" and when you two said no he TURNED ON THE LIGHTS and ruined the vibe 😐 fucking asshole)

- anyways you two had to change back into your clothes at 9pm just to go to a shitty party that was gonna get busted by the cops anyways 😔💔

- you couldnt find him through the sea of people, and u got really worried until armin called you

- it was not armin on the other line 😁👍

- he said his name was reiner ?? and he said he was with armin bc he puked while playing beer pong

- the guy tells you where they are and you go to find them. theyre sitting on this couch in a backroom and theres only like,, five people in total there ??

- armin is SOBBING while reiner is trying to get him to drink water

- "reiner you dont get it,,, theyre so beautiful. i cant compete. i dont even think theyd wanna be with me. and you have to see them talk about their major. theyre so smart you dont understand." "okay buddy lets just finish this water okay ?"

- armin is leaning his shoulder on this GIANT of a man just going on about how much he loves you and how amazing he finds you. until you tap his shoulder. and then he realizes youve been listening this entire time. and then he starts crying because he doesnt want you to find him weird. and then you have to explain to him that you two are dating. where he doesnt believe you still.

- eren ends up giving you the keys to his car and saying "ill just call you when i need a ride back" and reiner CARRIES armin to the car 😭😭😭

- hes a real gentleman 😁👍

- that morning armin remembers EVERYTHING and is MORTIFIED

- calls reiner immediately like "did people see me puke ? oh god am i gonna be talked about ?"

- has very vivid dreams and remembers all of them ?? will literally tell you about a dream he had when he was five and WILL NOT forget a detail. its weird

- his family actually doesnt seem like they like you 😳 not because they dont theyre just very,, quiet people...... except for his grandfather

- doesnt even care who you are to armin, will pull you down on the couch with him to tell you about all his research and findings as an archeologist (before he retired)

- if youre ever feeling sad about anything, whether that be stress, family problems, or body image issues, armins taking you to his place 😁👍

- he'll cuddle you and whisper how much he loves you while you two are watching something on his laptop

- has acne scars on his shoulders. dont make fun of him for it pls

- loves getting back scratches though, the tingles make him feel really calm

- if you have like,, makeup brushes and stuff he likes it when you brush his face with them, no product or anything but the tingles he gets from it 🤤

- over time his parents warm up to you quiet a bit, and when his mom shows you baby photos and from him as a kid youre SHOCKED.

- he had this little bob cut from when he was ten to his teens 🥺🥺🥺🥺

- when you two are walking back home or wherever you cant help but go on about how cute he was and how healthy and pretty his hair looked (not that its not healthy or pretty now) and he just giggles before pulling you into his side and kissing your cheek while saying "okay baby, ill grow it out just for you then"

- also loves the petnames baby, angel, and love

- will gladly let you steal his sweaters. has a really nice knit one that his grandma made him before she died. that ones off limits.

- doesnt like to fight, but when he feels like hes in the right he wont hesitate to yell back when youre yelling at him

- just dont yell at him pls, it makes him sad

- it takes him a while (and by a while i mean like 30 minutes at most) before his texting you asking if you guys can talk about it

- its really easy for you two to make up, and immediately hes hugging you and just asking if you wanna do something with him

- also, cuts his own hair ?? and would cut yours if you asked. mikasa vouches for him "yeah he trims my hair all the time. why ?"

- every year on your anniversary hes taking you to the aquarium. and he always kisses you as softly as he did the very first time, in the dark hallway of the moon jellyfish tank ✨

a/n

THATS ITTT !!! thanks again for requesting !! i hope you all enjoyed. remember asks are open !! u dont have to request headcanons either !!! go crazy friends !!

#attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan #armin arlert #armin attack on titan #armin arlet x reader #armin arlert x reader #armin arlet #eren mikasa armin #eren yeager #mikasa ackerman

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azucanela · 3 years

Text

SKIN DEEP DECEPTION

PAIRING: TSUKISHIMA KEI X READER [SOULMATE AU]

SUMMARY: In a world where the number of lies your soulmate tells each day is written in your wrist, Y/N has found that her soulmate has two moods. No lies, or dozens at a time.

WARNINGS: CURSE WORDS (WH*RE). ANGST. MILD VIOLENCE.

WORD COUNT: 4K.

A/N: happy anniversary? marriage? engagement? @bbykutos <3 this is my first time writing an au so pls lmk how i did and uhhh idk i feel like this is bad

HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST

IN A WORLD FILLED WITH LIES only one person knew when you were really telling the truth. That person being your soulmate. Though it’s not always a lover, that tended to be the most common occurrence when it came to soulmates. The whole point of soulmates had been to have someone perfect for you, though this wasn’t always the case of course.

Growing up, Y/N had always viewed soulmates as a false ideal, a distant fantasy, though the number on her wrist was confirmation enough that soulmates existed— that didn’t mean they were truly meant to be.

She’d learnt that the hard way.

At times, kids would find their soulmates in their first year of school; which normally went either really well or really poorly. Others in high school, college, some mundane moment at a coffee shop or a more dramatic one at one of the biggest moments of their lives. Sometimes it was romantic, other times it was chaotic, or just plain dull. Most of the times finding your soulmate meant catching them in the midst of a lie... several times. Sometimes people found love, an enemy, or... they just found their soulmate.

Y/N wasn’t the only person who’d become rather apathetic towards the whole idea, though there was no denying the small part of her— in the back of her mind, the part she’d tried so hard to bury— that hoped, that wished, that dreamed of a soulmate who cared for her.

And yet, even her own parents were an example of this false ideal.

Not that it mattered, seeing as she was yet to meet her soulmate. There was no reason to dwell on it, that had become abundantly clear to Y/N, and yet here she was, allowing her mind to wander as she stared— maybe even glared— at her wrist in class.

“I need to use the restroom.”

The word’s pull her out of her daze, eyes rising back up to the board where her teacher stands— smile on her face as she replies, “of course! Go on ahead.” Y/N’s eyes trail over to the student in question, the blonde boy seated beside her, Tsukishima Kei. She was familiar with him seeing as they’d gone to the same middle school. He also happened to be the class’ star pupil due to his stellar intellect.

With a frown, Y/N exhales deeply and looks back down only to come face to face with the number on her wrist having increased by one.

1 lie so far today, huh.

Most days Y/N had found that the lies didn’t start piling up until the afternoon, other times there were slim to none, and assuming they were in high school as well— what were they lying about. It truly left her baffled at what in the world they could be saying. Aside from this curiosity, the thought of her soulmate returned to the back of her mind as a hand tapped her shoulder, drawing her out of her thoughts once more.

A green haired boy stands beside her— she recognizes him, Yamaguchi Tadashi. They’d been friends in middle school and remained so when they’d entered high school, though they weren’t as close as they used to be, Yamaguchi had tried and failed to keep it that way.

The bitter memories resurface, though Y/N simply pushes them to the back of her mind alongside all the over thoughts she doesn’t want to address as she turns to Yamaguchi with a smile, “hey Yamaguchi, what’s up?”

He offers her a nervous smile, eyes flickering across the room before returning to her before he replies, “I was wondering if you wanted to be in my group?”

Tilting her head at him, a small laugh escapes Y/N as she asks, “group?”

For a moment Yamaguchi��s brows furrow, though his eyes drift towards her single rolled up sleeve, the number one displayed on it, “oh! We have a group project for the next few weeks.” Comes his response.

“Project...” Y/N mumbles out, eyes scanning the room as she watches people enter clusters of three, talking and writing things down in their journal— even exchanging numbers. “Right.”

She had a feeling that Tsukishima’s sunny disposition hadn’t done them any favors when it came to getting other members to join their group projects. Coupled with Yamaguchi’s need to end all conflict between his friends.

That must be how they ended up here.

Opening her mouth to speak, Y/N quickly shut it as she searched for the right words, bringing an arm to the back of her neck as she scratched it awkwardly. “I just don’t know if that would be the best idea—”

“If what would be the best idea?” Behind Yamaguchi comes Tsukishima, hands shoved into his pockets as he looks between them.

Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, Y/N looks away, brows furrowing as memories begin to surface. Seeing as the last time they’d interacted, Tsukishima had elected to use some... crude words. Well, Y/N had expected awkwardness when they inevitably spoke to each other once more, and the fact that he seemed to unfazed left her wanting to wipe the smirk off his face.

Preferably in a violent way.

Yamaguchi seems to answer for her as he replies, “well I was thinking since we need groups of three, Y/N would just join us.” Yamaguchi looks between the pair before saying, “like old times.”

Y/N wants to gag.

Moving to stand, she offers Yamaguchi a tight lipped smile, “I’ll probably join a different group but—”

“There are no other groups.” Tsukishima interrupts, though there’s no emotion in his words, as though he’s simply stating a fact. Because clearly, he doesn’t care.

Inhaling deeply, Y/N nods slowly, looking between the both of them before saying, “well you both have my number.” The bell rings, and Y/N can’t help but let out a sigh of relief as she continues, “text me about the project whenever.” Before immediately grabbing her bag from beside her desk and swinging it over her shoulder.

Tsukishima is watching as she leaves, a sigh escaping him as he adjusts his glasses before turning to Yamaguchi, “you’ll need to make a group chat.”

“Why?” He asks, brows furrowing as he pulls at his phone to do so regardless, fingers typing away at the screen.

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Tsukishima shrugs, “she has me blocked.”

Yamaguchi pauses his typing, sighing. Though he doesn’t look up at Tsukishima as he replies, “Of course she does— well I would too.” Yamaguchi exhales deeply, “you should apologize to her.”

It had always been a touchy subject in their friendship, the way that Tsukishima had elected to end— more accurately, ruin — his friendship with Y/N. Though Yamaguchi wasn’t there to hear what he’d said himself, he’d heard it had been pretty bad from others. After all, Tsukishima had received his first, second and third punch to the face that day.

It was deserved.

“Yeah.” Comes his reply, shoving his hands back into his pockets.

In an attempt to combat the uncomfortable silence between them, Yamaguchi asks, “so where’d you go?”

A smirk breaks out on Tsukishima’s face, “not the bathroom that’s for sure.”

THE NEXT TIME TSUKISHIMA KEI TEXTS Y/N, the message actually goes through. For some reason he can’t bring himself to delete the ones that came before, the apologies from a year prior followed by his messages of realization that she had blocked him.

Maybe it was the fact that his pride had taken a blow or maybe it was the fact that he didn’t want to know if he was forgivable, Tsukishima had never made any attempts to apologize fact to face.

Actually, that’s a lie, he had. But he had chickened out last minute, the panic flooding his veins as he was faced with a situation almost identical to the one that had gotten him into the mess. Seeing her alongside the very person who had punched him in the face that day— well, the first person who had that is— a broad smile on her face.

And who was he to ruin that. Did he even want to know what she’d say? Would she call him ridiculous, a fool for even thinking an apology could mend anything between him?

Would hearing her voice one more time, even if it was just riddled with insults, be enough for closure? He’d done this to himself Tsukishima was well aware but that didn’t make him any less upset at the fact that he’d lost his best friend.

He shakes his head, trying to get rid of those memories as he stares at the message, a simple:

hey, it’s tsukishima.

He was fairly sure that not only had he been blocked he had also had his number deleted, so starting with an introduction seemed right.

we’re meeting at my house tmrw after school. yamaguchi and i have volleyball practice, you can wait for us at the gym or just head over to my house i dont care.

There are so many implications to the message and they all leave Y/N’s head spinning, or maybe she was reading into it. She wasn’t sure at this point, but it was clear that Tsukishima was well aware that she still had the key to his front door.

Y/N elected to show up to volleyball practice rather than face his mother alone.

Stepping into the gym, the sound of shows scrapping against the floor, and volleyballs hitting the ground at an almost rapid pace as people moved around the courts just as quickly.

Y/N scrunches up her nose as she’s hit with the smell of sweat, something to be expected in a gym of course, lips pressing together into a straight line as she steps further into the gym and looks to her left. There stands another girl, albeit slightly intimidating but she looked far more approachable than the other people around the gym

“Excuse me?”

She turns, brows furrowing slightly at the sight of Y/N before offering her a smile and asking, “hey. How can I help you?”

Smiling back— albeit awkwardly— Y/N replies, “I’m waiting for someone,” Y/N quickly realizes that isn’t much information as she adds, “someone in this club. Actually, two people— that’s beside the point. Is there anywhere I can just sit, until the end?”

Once more her brows furrow, “our practices tend to go on pretty long, especially since some of the boys like extra work and we have a few practice games coming up.” Shaking her head slightly, the girl gestures to the bench beside her, “you can sit here with me, I’m Kiyoko by the way.”

“So who are you waiting for?”

“Oh, uh... Tsukishima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi.”

Y/N finds herself coming by the gym more often after that day, although it isn’t because she has to walk back to Tsukishima’s house after with him and Yamaguchi, it’s because she finds herself enjoying Kiyoko’s presence. She’s a quiet girl, but she’s rather witty behind the scenes, and certainly and entertaining and fun person. And so were the other boys in the club.

They’d quickly become intrigued by the presence of another girl and—

“Another female manager? Nice!”

“Another manager? Why?”

“Kiyoko are you leaving us!?”

Okay so maybe Y/N had inadvertently joined the Boy’s Volleyball Club, but she really had nothing better to do with her time, much less with all the time she had between school and when the practice ended, allowing Tsukishima to go home with Yamaguchi and Y/N. But it’s not like it wouldn’t be over soon, right? The groups would only last two weeks and then Y/N would be free of her old— or more accurately, ex-friend.

Wrong, the groups became permanent. For the rest of year the students have to use them, for every single group project. Leaving Y/N to dread the class each time she entered due to the burning anticipation of a possible group project. Though Yamaguchi had made several attempts to approach Y/N since their last project ended just a few weeks prior, going as far as ditching Tsukishima entirely to sit with her at lunch some days.

Y/N entertained him, it’s not like she wanted to be rude or anything— not to Yamaguchi that is, he hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t been the one to randomly explode and call her a variety of... colorful words upon finding her with a friend last year.

Neither Y/N nor Yamaguchi bring it up of course, how Tsukishima had driven her away with his crude words that she never expected would ever be directed towards her.

But...

“We’ll be having another group project for the next two weeks!”

The conversation was inevitable.

Y/N nearly rams her head into her desk as she sighs, eyes drifting upwards towards the ceiling as though that would solve any of her current problems, before looking back to Tsukishima with a rather sarcastic smile that he returns with one of his own. Yamaguchi on the other hand, is waving rather enthusiastically from his seat in the classroom, beaming.

It’s not like it was a bad group. They got things done, and when grades were returned, they were good. It’s just that Tsukishima was... Tsukishima. And as annoying and rude as he was, Y/N couldn’t help but feel more annoyed with herself because she still couldn’t find it in herself to hate him.

Backpack slung over her shoulder, Y/N exhales deeply as she looks back at Yamaguchi who remains at his porch, “make sure she gets home safe, Tsukki!”

“That’s really not necessary, Yams.” She assures, giving him a pointed look when Tsukishima turns around with a disinterested shrug. But of course. the boy waves her off, simply shoving her forwards with Tsukki, offering her a thumbs up and a smile.

Y/N simply turns around and follows Tsukishima with a scowl, quickly moving ahead of him as she tugs her backpack strap tighter onto her shoulder.

Tsukishima is rolling his eyes as she moves ahead of him, “how am I supposed to stop you from getting kidnapped when you’re a mile ahead of me?” He calls out to her, maintaining his pace. Y/N doesn’t reply, continuing on ahead, “Y/N.” He repeats, “Y/N.” Once more, she ignores him, until she hears his steps pick up behind her, a hand wrapping around her wrist and stopping her movements.

“Yes Kei?” She exclaims in annoyance, turning back to him. Only for her mouth to gape open as she grimaces, “Tsukishima. I mean.”

He exhales deeply, looking away momentarily before saying, “I’m sorry.”

So, Y/N laughs. “Wow. Tsukishima Kei swallowing his pride to apologize? Impressive.” Tsukishima opens his mouth to reply, only for Y/N to speak first and say, “I hate you.” Before tearing her arm out of his grasp and stepping ahead once more.

Y/N isn’t looking at him as he replies, “no you don’t.”

And Tsukishima would’ve believed had he not looked to his wrist, the number rising with each insult Y/N spewed. Though there was no denying that he deserved it, but that didn’t stop the grimace that came on his face before he asked, “you done?”

WHEN TSUKISHIMA FOUND OUT Y/N WAS HIS SOULMATE, it did not end well. He wasn’t really sure if he had a plan that day, but if he did it went out the window once he saw her with one of her friends from another school. Though Tsukishima had never met the boy in question, it didn’t take long for him to realize that Y/N liked him, whether that was platonic or not it didn’t matter. Because watching her laugh along with him in the convenience store only served as a reminder that there were people better than him.

Tsukishima had never considered himself insecure per se, much less an over thinker or anything of the sort. But the simple fact of the matter was, Y/N didn’t want him, she was stuck with him as his soulmate.

And though she was blissfully unaware of this fact, why did that need to change?

Perhaps she could be happier with that boy, with anyone other than him. Tsukishima had known Y/N for years and though he would never admit it, he respected her, he cared for her, long before he’d discovered they were soulmates. And prior to his discovery he’d always found the system idiotic, so why did his mindset have to change?

It was a bitter ideology, and a jealous and foolish reaction that put him in the place he’s in today. Though Tsukishima was fairly sure it only proved his point, that she deserved better, that didn’t make him any more remorseful of their friendship.

He’d nearly told her several times, like the blunt and straightforward person he is, Tsukishima had almost stopped her in the halls of school and simply said— “surprise! We’re soulmates. Sorry about calling you a whore and all, I was just jealous and bitter because I realized there are people out there better for you and somehow you got stuck with me!”

Yeah, that would’ve blown over real well. Tsukishima was fairly sure he would’ve received an addition hit to the face from her and Yamaguchi, again.

Yamaguchi was not happy when he found out about the convenience store incident. At all.

Tsukishima couldn’t recount many times when he was scared of Yamaguchi Tadashi, until his fist was flying towards his face. Of course, he laughed it off, wiping the blood from his nose, but that didn’t make it a fun experience by any means.

Now, Tsukishima was just trying to amend things, slightly. It’s not like Y/N owed him any of her time, and it’s not like she needed to know that they were soulmates.

It would be better off that way for the both of them, or at least, that’s what Tsukishima told himself— much to Yamaguchi’s dismay. The boy had been urging Tsukishima to just tell her the truth, for a while now, to no avail. And when Tsukishima returned to class one day having discovered he would be in a group with her and Yamaguchi, well he couldn’t help but thing Yamaguchi was scheming.

But looking up to Yamaguchi and Y/N, who are seated at the table of some café Y/N had insisted on coming to, Tsukishima can’t help but think it was worth it.

No, she didn’t need to know.

And so, against her better judgement, Y/N had allowed things to return to normal. The same weekly hangouts they once had becoming daily because of volleyball practice each day, forcing Yamaguchi, Tsukishima and Y/N together for even longer periods of time. Walks homes becoming progressively longer as they all speak amongst themselves— or more accurately, Y/N and Yamaguchi speak. Then again, Tsukishima had always been more of the quiet kind unless he had something witty to add on.

This revival of friendship meant the return of the late night calls as well, of course. Albeit, most of them filled with a comfortable silence that Y/N finds herself relishing in a she lays in bed, eyes glued to the time shining in the corner of her phone screen.

11:52PM.

Inhaling deeply, Y/N rolls over on her bed, tugging at her sleeve to pull it down and reveal the counter on her wrist. There have been a few lies today, though there hadn’t been any in the past few hours. In recent months the number had been fluctuating more which Y/N found... odd.

Tsukishima seems to notice her shift in mood, though he doesn’t look up from his work as he asks, “what is it?” When Y/N doesn’t respond, he simply repeats himself, asking, “what’s wrong?

Y/N’s brows furrow as she huffs, bringing her arm back down and pushing herself up on her bed using her elbows before replying, “what do you mean?”

“The dramatic sigh.” Comes his reply, eyes still glued to the page in front of him as the sound of his pen moving against the paper fills his room.

Y/N looks to him on the screen incredulously as she scoffs, “it was not a dramatic sigh.”

A pause on his part as he looks down before replying, “I don’t even think you believe that Y/N.” He responds, rolling his eyes before adjusting his glasses at the bridge of his nose.

Sometimes Y/N wondered how he’d always been able to do that, read her like a book. Was she truly that predictable? Grimacing, Y/N brushes away the thought, “nothing is wrong?” Her response sounds more like a question, leaving her cringing at her inability to lie.

Tsukishima raises a brow as he dryly responds, “that was convincing.”

Y/N just sighs again, eyes drifting to her wrist once more— the counter now reset to zero as the day starts anew— as she pauses, wondering if the conversation would be worth it.

“Do you ever think of you soulmate, Tsukishima?”

His pen stops, and if Y/N was looking at the screen rather than her wrist, she would’ve seen the way he straightened in his seat as he replied, “no. I don’t.” He clears his throat, “no point in dwelling on someone I haven’t even met yet.”

Maybe Y/N would’ve replied had the counter not ticked up to 2 as he spoke.

But it was a coincidence. It had to be a coincidence.

“So... you haven’t met your soulmate yet?

Another moment of silence before he replies, “no.” With a sigh.

Y/N brings a hand to clasp over her mouth, “you’re kidding me.” A bitter laugh escapes her, “you’re fucking kidding me.” Y/N finds herself inhaling deeply as she attempts to calm herself. “How long have you known?”

Y/N WAS AVOIDING HIM, not that he didn’t deserve it, again. But that didn’t make it any better. Tsukishima found himself frowning as he stared at his eyes pierced into the back of her head, and for the first time he found himself hoping for a group project.

What a change in events.

Tsukishima was honestly more worried about what Yamaguchi would say once he found out that he and Y/N were fighting again but... that was something to worry about for another time.

“We’ll be having a group project once more today! If you haven’t realized already, this class is oriented around the idea of building you collaborative and social skills.”

Okay, maybe not another time.

Tsukishima can practically hear Y/N’s head fall against her desk, his eyes drifting back to her as the teacher drones on about the requirements of this assignment and how they’ll pick up the rubric once class ends and they can further review it tomorrow.

Probably because the bell rings almost immediately after.

Y/N has already shot up from her seat, tugging her back over her shoulder as she beelines for the exit of the class. And for once, Tsukishima finds himself making an effort to keep up with her as he calls out her name, “Y/N, stop.”

This seems to garner Yamaguchi’s attention, who jogs to keep up with the pair as they all exit the classroom, “guys? What’s going on?”

“Everything is fine, Yamaguchi!” Comes Y/N’s response from ahead of them, waving him off.

Yamaguchi’s brows furrow as he grabs Tsukishima’s wrist only to see that the counter has risen, causing him to look up at Tsukishima when he finally yanks his wrist away. “What did you do?”

Tsukishima looks to him incredulously, “what makes you think I did something?”

Yamaguchi looks to him blankly as he replies, “well Y/N isn’t chasing you through the halls, is she?” He rolls his eyes, jogging to get ahead of the both of them and block their path as he looked to them with furrowed brows, “what is going on guys?”

“Not now, Tadashi, please—”

“Tadashi?”

The group pauses in the empty hallway, most of the other students having left now that the day had ended, and the sound of Tsukishima’s voice is unlike anything Y/N has heard before as she sighs.

“I wish you had told me, Tsukishima.” Is all she mumbles out, before dragging a hand through her hair and pushing past the both of them, turning the corner of the hall and leaving them alone there.

A/N: gasp :0 yamaguchi?

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

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ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

#eiypo

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