#and this fit better because they were all already dead and pearl was still fighting scar

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

Before Gem could register it, Scar’s sword ran her through, taking out the last of her hearts.

The death screen flashed in front of her. She instinctively pressed the respawn button, and all of the weight in her body disappeared, leaving her lighter than a feather.

She looked down at her hands. They were transparent. No weight, no colour. A ghost.

She was dead. And she’d respawned in her bed.

Oh, God…

Scott.

She’d always known from day one that in the end there would be a final battle, that there would’ve been kills she didn’t want to make. But it had always been hazy in her mind.

She’d gone along cheerfully, picking off anyone who wasn’t on her side, never thinking that when it came down to it she would have to kill someone she called an ally.

More than that. A friend.

She remembered Scott’s blue eyes. Not staring at her in his final moments, but focusing on his inventory, and her diamond blade swinging down, and the lightning blinding her for half a second…

Gem gasped and clutched her head. Those few seconds kept replaying in her mind.

“You have to kill me, Gem.”

She knew even now that Scar and, and, Pearl were probably fighting it out, deciding the winner, or whatever. Winning didn’t seem to matter now.

The lightning flashed again, in front of her eyes.

She hadn’t wanted to be the leader! Why had Scott kept looking to her as if she was, telling her to kill him? Why did he have to die like that? She didn’t want to do this anymore.

Gem tried to lean against the wall to stabilise herself, but she fell right through and ended up outside, floating anxiously.

The cherry leaves were still falling, like nothing had happened. As if the base could stay in its pink, cherry, happy state forever.

(The crater by the entrance disagreed.)

Scott’s voice, her sword, the lightning, her gasp after she’d done it were all confused in her mind. Overwhelmed, she squeezed her eyes shut, but it wouldn’t stop ringing.

“Gem! Gem, you okay?”

Gem, nearly hyperventilating, barely heard Impulse but looked up.

“It’s okay, we’ve all been there,” Impulse said soothingly as she practically collapsed into his grasp, relieved for something real.

“She’s up here?… Oh, Gem,” Scott ran into earshot. Gem broke away and looked at Scott uncertainly, still breathing fast, her heart pumping. What felt like her heart. She didn’t know how ghosts worked.

“Scott?”

“You did so good,” he said, smiling but not moving closer, as if unsure of how she would react.

“Scott, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know that, uh, I’d have to kill you, and I just got caught up in the moment, and, you know,” Gem rambled hysterically.

“I don’t regret it. You carried the band so, so well. You’re safe now, alright? All good.”

Gem slowly nodded as she tried to recollect herself. “Right.”

“It’s always like this on the first series. I remember in Third Life everyone was so shocked after they died.” Impulse said, grinning as he pat Gem on the shoulder.

“Nah, in Double Life when Pearl died was even worse. Ready to kill everyone, more like.”

Gem’s head snapped up. “Pearl! She— she and Scar…”

She hadn’t expected it, she hadn’t expected Pearl to swoop in for a blow as she was fending Scar off. And then she’d just stood back and let Scar kill Gem. Entirely indifferent. Betrayal without a word.

She hadn’t understood, Cleo had been right. She hadn’t understood a single thing about the death game, and it wasn’t a game, it was just death—

Gem started to panic again, gasping for air. Scott quickly put his arm around her.

“Shh, don’t worry about that. It happens every time. You get used to it. For now, just relax, okay?” Scott said reassuringly.

“Okay, okay,” Gem said, half in tears.

There was no sound for a while, except for the wind extending its wispy fingers through the cherry leaves.

“Come on, let’s sit on the plank,” Impulse said.

So they did. Since they weren’t solid it couldn’t be done, but they decided to float above it instead and look out on the rest of the server, empty but, finally, peaceful.

“The band’s back together,” Scott joked.

Gem sighed, and smiled. For now, for that brief moment in time, everything was okay.

[universallywriting]

Angry Steven Essay 1 - Ignoring Your Kids and the Consequences

A lot of people have been wondering why Steven is so angry, and where their sweet baby boy has gone, and I think people are struggling because they don’t understand how little they respected Steven before.

Because I don’t think that Steven has undergone a huge character shift. Admittedly, he’s angry more frequently now, but I don’t think his anger is bigger or more intense or any worse than it’s been at other points in the series. Steven’s feelings haven’t gotten bigger…

But Steven has.

I counted up all the times Steven gets angry in the series, being fairly charitable and not counting more minor moments of annoyance of frustration. I’ve got about 21 moments out of 160 episodes for the original series. Granted, that’s only once every seven episodes, but it’s not insignificant. The idea that Steven never gets angry is factually wrong. 

We see his temper the first time in Steven the Swordfighter, and it’s not a very wholesome look at the boy. He’s frustrated because Pearl is gone and Holo-Pearl isn’t a good replacement. And, already, I bet you’re starting to tune out a little. Because Steven’s being a stupid little kid, isn’t he? Pearl’s coming back. He’s just throwing a tantrum.

Tantrum is the word we give to anger and sadness we don’t respect. It’s a word we use to belittle and ignore children, even when their feelings are justified.

We see something similar in Rose’s Room. He screams at the gems because they ruin the ending of his video game. And, sure that’s a bummer Steven, but it’s just a game. There’s a big space opera out there, so why are you so worried about this? And yeah, you got mad that Greg lied to you in House Guest, but he just wanted to spend time with you. It’s a cute father/son moment, really. Steven is angry, sure, but it’s just kind of pitiful, isn’t it? Poor silly kid. He’s wrapped up in his little concerns when the world is so big and scary.

But you were on his side in Warp Tour. Because he’s right this time, so it’s not a tantrum. And you’re mad at the gems because they’re treating it as a tantrum. But here’s the thing - the gems should never treat him this way. Because so far? Every single one of Steven’s fears and struggles are valid and worthy of respect. Steven isn’t pitching a fit because they brought him a scarlet firetruck and he wanted a cherry firetruck. He’s hurt. That deserves respect and attention and apologies.

In Steven the Swordfighter, he’s struggling because one of his guardians is really hurt. Not only that, but she’s hurt in a way that she can’t talk to him, can’t let him know it’s going to be okay, and in her place is the thing that hurt her. You’ll also note that Amethyst and Garnet are conspicuously absent during all of this, because apparently the boy doesn’t need comfort and care after watching Bird Mom get wasted and spending days hovering over her unhatched egg. Steven is going through all this grief and fear alone.

In Rose’s Room, Steven is denied his chance to spend time with the gems after they promised. They don’t respect or value Steven’s time. Why would they? He’s a child. And clearly he proves his time is worthless by putting so much value in his silly video game he interrupted. What’s the ending of your stupid golf game matter when the plot it rolling along, Steven? Big, important adult things are here. Drop what you’re doing. Ignore your interests. What the gems are doing is more valuable than what you’re doing every single time.

This is a general trend. Warp Tour is the perfect encapsulation of the problem, because it’s finally important enough that Steven fights to be heard. The first thing to remember about this episode is that we, the audience, are placed on Steven’s side because we’ve seen what Steven has seen. We know he’s right. The gems, however, believe what Steven is saying to be impossible. From their perspective, Steven is saying that a masked man broke down their door last night. Be honest - if you knew a kid making that claim and the door was fine, are you going to take it seriously?

The problem in Warp Tour is not that the gems don’t believe him. It’s reasonable not to. The problem is the way they react to it. Amethyst groans and complains about how long it’s taking to make Steven feel better, making him feel like a burden. Pearl aggressively confronts him with evidence, treating him like they’re in a debate and he needs to be proven wrong. That makes him feel stupid, belittled and ignored. Garnet says that it’s important to make Steven feel secure, but even that is condescending and quietly insists that Steven is being irrational.

Even at the end, Garnet is the only one who even slightly makes amends, saying she should have listened to him while also not apologizing. Pearl and Amethyst don’t make amends at all. But do you know who does say sorry four times? Steven. Steven has been taught and continues to be taught that his feelings are secondary. The things in his life that are important aren’t really important compared to the serious grown up issues. 

The lack of apologies are consistent. In Keystone Motel, Ruby and Sapphire realize Steven is upset and make up with each other, but don’t make up with Steven. Don’t apologize to Steven. In Maximum Capacity, Amethyst never apologizes to Steven for shapeshifting into his dead mom. (Which, always and forever - What the hell, Ame?)

The gems brushed off these feelings and due to that, I think a lot of the audience did too. But the gems do occasionally ask Steven what’s wrong, and he shuts them down.

So why does he do that? Why doesn’t he work it out? Because they spent his entire life ignoring his problems, disregarding his fears, not knowing what’s important to him. I’ve seen a lot of talk about Gemcation and how the stuff with Connie was Steven repressing his trauma over space and… no. It’s not. It’s really, really not. It’s yet another example of how the gems (and the fandom) ignore the things that matter to Steven in favor of what they think he should care about, and it comes down to this one extremely painful moment.

Garnet: Steven, I know what’s troubling you.

Steven: You do? (huge relieved smile) Gosh. I really messed up, didn’t I?

He’s so, so excited for someone to understand him. He’s so thrilled for someone to understand what’s wrong, and value his problems and his life. And what happens? Garnet talks about Pink Diamond. He’s crushed again.The most important thing to Steven is his relationships with other people, his friends. Literally his entire problem solving method is to go make more friends. He’s not worried about getting hurt or how scary Homeworld is, he’s scared that his family is going to stop loving him because of the mistakes he made.

But the gems don’t take the time to understand what Steven truly values. They don’t take the time to respect his interests. They don’t take the time to know him. And we’re still seeing that. They don’t understand what movies he likes. They don’t understand how his taste in food has changed. They don’t realize he’s been a vegetarian for a month. That’s not a little change. And, what’s more, that’s a value. That’s something extremely important, a sacrifice you decide to make because you think it’s a big deal.

And the gems don’t know.

So why would he talk to them? If someone was so uninterested in my life they couldn’t figure out I’d been a vegetarian for a month, I wouldn’t be opening up about my deepest problems. And when have they ever guessed a problem right? When have they ever taken an interest in things that matter to him? When have they ever told him that his human half is just as valuable, that he deserves to do whatever he wants, that he doesn’t have to be the son of Pink Diamond and can actually just be Steven?

But why bother when you can just cheer him up with s’mores and camping and Dogcopter, right? Steven doesn’t get angry! Our precious baby boy pouts. He throws some tantrums. The only time his anger matters is in Warp Tour, because he’s right about these big adult things. Steven is a child and he is small and cute and funny and his voice cracks when he shouts. It’s funny, isn’t it? He’s just a little kid. Little boys get angry and they scream and they holler about stupid things, and who cares, right?

Until one day they’re not so little anymore.

And now it doesn’t seem so funny, does it? Now it’s kind of scary. Now, the little kid that you rolled your eyes at and ignored the emotions of is big. He’s got a deep voice. He’s got broad shoulders. When he screams at you, it’s not something to roll your eyes over. It’s kind of terrifying now, isn’t it? Because there’s real power in that bigger body, and even the lizard part of your brain at the base of your spinal chord knows that. There’s a real, destructive power when he screams, and you have to listen.

The gems still think he’s a kid, and the audience is starting to realize he’s not. And the audience is already scared of what a kid as angry as Steven, with no coping mechanisms, is going to look like as a grown man.

It’s really easy to ignore a little boy with a weak grasp of his strength. It’s a lot harder to ignore a man whose screams shake your house down.

Value your kid’s feelings. They’re going to be grown some day. And what’s more? They’re people. Their feelings mattered all along. Steven’s feelings mattered all along. 

The only thing that’s changed is that you can’t call it cute anymore.

[taeyongssi]

Hate to Love you

Jooheon x Reader (Fem) 

wc: 2.378 

Genre : Smut.

warning contains overstimulation, explicit content. 

Hate to love you 

Jooheon was eyeing you from across the bar, you felt his eyes in you back but you paid him no attention. You’ve been trying to avoid the conversation you knew was coming. Jooheon has been trying to get into your bed ever since you two shared a dance that night, a year ago. 

A year ago.

You were celebrating your best friend's birthday in the club when you saw him, sitting at one of the tables in the corner, his cheeky smile lit up because of his pearl white teeth. It has been a while since you had some male attention due to a nasty break up. You were basically craving someone touching you at this point, the alcohol you’ve been drinking wasn't helping either, but gave you a nice confidence boost.

You told your friends you’d be right back and grabbed your empty glass and walked over to his table “ You seem to like what you see”  Is how you decide to break the ice standing right infront of him at his table, you hear one of his friends almost choking upon hearing your bold move. Little did you know, you’ve started the longest on and off thing in your life. 

Jooheon wasted no time and stood up and towered over you, you already felt the muscles in your lower abdomen tighten at the sight of him towering over you with the same cheeky smirk he had while staring at you. 

You grabbed his collar and pulled him to the dance floor where you start grinding on him. He grabs your hips tight while following the movement of your hips. Your heads moving closer together and you could feel his breath on your lips. 

Today

Everytime you think back to that night you’ve regretted making that move, he has caused you nothing but hurt and heartbreak, sure the sex was amazing but he broke your heart time after time. Jooheon was the type of man that wanted full control, control over your head, body and emotions. You didn't mind that he was dominant in the bedroom, not at all, but the way he wanted to control every aspect of your life without having a relationship bothered you extremely. Despite you hating the type of man he was, you had a huge weak spot for him, he spoiled you, cooked delicious dishes and bought you presents. 

You felt someone standing behind you “ Did you miss me so much you are following me ?” You just knew he was smirking behind your back. Slowly you turned around and gave him a death stare “ I think you are the one following ME Jooheon. “ Trying as hard as you can to not show any sign of intimidation by him towering over you. “ Why would i follow you? I broke things off, remember.” His tone changed, he knew damn well that wasn't true, you had a whole fit over leaving him, and made it very clear you wanted nothing to do with him, even though you knew you were lying, all you wanted was for him to admit he loved you. 

“ You know thats not true.” Your voice broke, failed to keep strong in his intense stare. “ I do, but i just wanted to break your cold facade, i know you, you're not like this”  He knew you through and through, you hated him. “ if you wont mind stepping aside, im going home you ruined my mood, again, fuck you Jooheon.”  You couldn't keep it in anymore. You stood up from your bar stool and pushed him aside and made your way to the door, for a second you thought that was it, but you should have known better. 

Jooheon didn't like to be talked back to, he needed to control every situation he was in, and he never liked you fighting back, but he couldn't help coming back to you everytime, you did something to him. No one ever went against him, but you did, and he wanted more. 

You walked fast without turning around, Jooheon was running behind you. “ I'm not turning around Heon-i, I'm done, I told you.” Without turning around fastening your pace “ Y/n please, please talk to me I’m sorry.”  You heard it all before, but you can’t help to hear his voice crack. “ Y/N!” Jooheon yelled at you, way more desperate than he wanted. His tone stopped you dead on the spot, you never heard that tone from him before. “ Y/n please hear me out”  You refused to turn around, you just stood there waiting for him to catch up and pass you. 

He stood in front of you, catching his breath from running after you. Jooheon left his jacket in the club, he couldn't feel the cold. Staring at each other you seem to forget the cold, the people on the street, the look in his eyes had changed. Desperation filled his stare, even a bit of pain was creeping through his piercing eyes. “ I’ll give you 1 minute, go.” Still trying to hide the feelings sparked by him, you refuse to give in this easy. 

“ You’re driving me insane, you're not like the other girls. You spark my desire, i don't know how to control you-” he stopped seeing your reaction to the last part. “ Control me?! That's your problem Jooheon, you want to control my life, and i won't let you, not again. You broke my heart so many times, I LOVE YOU “ Before you know it you yelled the last three words, tears creeped up in your eyes. 

Jooheon blinked twice at your confession, time seemed to have stopped at this moment. Frozen in stares the both of you try to figure each other out. Jooheon stepped forward and you could feel his body heat radiating through your clothes, never breaking eye contact. He cupped your face and looked for your consent. Before he could find it you pressed your lips against his. 

The kiss was different than the sloppy kisses you had before, this kiss had passion. You get lost in his hands and step a bit closer to him and place your hand on his chest. Jooheon slowly opened his mouth and whispered a breathy “ I-...I love you too.” Your legs almost gave out underneath you, he noticed and quickly caught you in his strong embrace. 

After the magical moment in the middle of the street, Jooheon grabbed your hand “ Lets go to my place” He softly said slightly squeezing your hand. You nodded your head, still zoned out from the passionate kiss the two of you just shared, also surprised he invited you to his house, even though this has been going on for over a year, you never saw his house. 

Jooheon hailed a taxi and let you in first, you didn't know what to say or how to react to his sudden change, and neither did Jooheon. During the short ride to his house, the two of you stay quiet and try to get a grip on what just happened, both having a slight pink flush on your cheeks. 

When you arrive at his house, you can't even see beyond the front door, the old passion the two of you shared returned. He pulled you in for a kiss, and wasted no time to try and pry open your mouth with his tongue. Tangled in the kiss you push close his front door without looking, the two of you stumble through his house, him taking the lead. 

He pulls you onto the couch and puts you on his lap. “ i fucking hate you, you know that right” you say between kissing his soft lips “ and i love it”  He returns to you, he plants fast kisses in your neck and onto your jaw. The muscles in your stomach tighten and you let out a soft moan. “ That's my girl” Jooheon girns between kisses and bites the soft skin in your neck, you throw back your head and slide your hand onto the back of his head and grab a handful of hair. 

You ever so slightly pulling his hair made him groan and bite a little harder “ fuck Y/N you're driving me crazy.” You grin, time for payback. Pulling his hair a little harder in order to get him out of your neck, you give him a playful look and see the eagerness in his eyes. “i guess its time for you to learn how I felt” You breathe onto his neck and plant very light kisses just under his ear, you feel his hand grabbing your hips tight in anticipation. 

You take your time and leave long pauses between kisses, nibbles and licks. Using one hand to keep his head back and one placed on his chest, tracing his muscles. Jooheon wasn't used to being teased like this, but he liked it. Your hand going down slowly drove him over the edge, he couldn't do this anymore. Jooheon grabbed your ass and stood up, making you slip out a moan in surprise. “ enough of this teasing, let me show you how much i love you”

You are glad he did, you're not a dominant person and were running out of ideas. He carried you to the bedroom where he laid you down on his king size bed. “  Let me show you how to tease” He put on the grin you knew all too well, but you weren't complaining. Jooheon traced your lips with his finger, lowering down your chin and tracing every part of your body with a single finger. Never touching any of your sensitive spots, you arch your back in anticipation.

“J-jooheon” You manage to get out while he is exploring your body with his index. “ Yes?” he grins “ I want you “ is all you can get out of your throat. “ You want me what? use your words baby girl” he smiles while tracing your exposed inner thigh. “ I want you to make me cum”  Even before the words leave your lips his finger slides under your dress and onto your silk underwear. “ Were you expecting something?” He grins while feeling the wet spot on your underwear. He used his other hand to bring up your dress to your waist. The two of you locked eyes and the spark flew. 

He slipped one finger into your underwear and felt your slik on his fingers and he couldn't hide his excitement. He circled around your clit skillfully, even better than he did before. you arch your back at his touch, you are already close to your climax. “ you didn't think i would let you cum so easily, did you babygirl?” he whispered on your neck just before planting sloppy kisses. The sound of his voice sends sparks through your whole body. 

He pulls his hand back and pulls you on your knees on the bed. You know what's coming, he starts to undo his belt and reveals his fully erect shaft to you. After collecting your breath for 2 seconds you brush your hair out of the way and kiss the tip, which makes him groan in pleasure, you lick the length of his shaft and take it in your mouth with your hand to follow the motion of your lips. he throws his head backwards and lets out a moan. His fingers slip into your hair and grab hold of some locks, guiding you to his desired rhythm. You catch the taste of pre-cum, he is close too. 

Jooheon couldn’t help thrusting softly into your throat, when he was close to his climax he pulled back and bent over, pulling your hair to make your head fall back, once again your eyes met. This is how you find him the sexiest, the hunger in his eyes, the little sweat drops on his temples. “ Please Heon-i.” you beg upon seeing his hungry eyes “ Please fuck me Heon-i.” His grin grew wider “ I love it when you beg me, turn around baby girl.” You get on all fours and wiggle your ass revealing your glistening slit to him, he lets out a hungry sigh upon seeing you. He plants a few kisses on your clit, making you plant your face in the pillow even revealing yourself more, he presses his tongue onto you and you let out a load moan “Heon” is all you can manage to moan to him. 

he gently pushes a finger into you “ you’re so fucking wet, i love it.” He pushes another finger into you and easily finds your sensitive spot, you cry out his name a couple times nearing your climax for the second time tonight. He takes out his finger and positions himself behind you and places one hand on your lower back and uses the other one to coat himself in your slick before sliding his dick into you. Jooheon doesn’t waste any time and starts thrusting fast and deep, you reach your climax in no time, but that doesn't stop him from going on, you feel your legs weaken with every thrust he gives you.

He wraps an arm around you keeping you up, even the sweat drops and drips onto your back from his forehead makes you shiver from pleasure. You’re yelling out his name, your makeup smudged on your face. Jooheon slides out of you and flips you onto your back, seeing your fucked out face makes him even hornier, he opens your legs and slides himself back into you and continues his rough rhythm. At this point your reaching over stimulation, your eyes rolling back, your back arching and legs twitching, the combination of all this makes Jooheon reach his climax at the same moment you reach your second one. He slowly rides out the orgasm and plants a kiss on your forehead. “ are you okay baby girl?” he gently asks while brushing the hairs out of your face. “ Wanna take a bath together?”  You nod your head to both questions, unable to get any sounds out of you. He gets up and walks into the bathroom and lets the tub fill. When he comes back you catched your breath and came back down from your high enough to say “ Please don't leave me again, Jooheon.”

[flowercrown-bard]

Poems for the Poet (1/ 5)

Pairing: Eskel/Jaskier

Summary: Unbeknownst to Jaskier, he inspires Eskel to try his hand at writing poetry. Eskel posts his poems anonymously to notice boards, not thinking that anyone would read them. Until he hears Jaskier's songs unmistakably referencing Eskel's poetry. (Eskel’s pov of The Way to a Poet’s heart)

Word count: ~2k

AO3

next

Content warnings: self-consciousness, self-doubt

Eskel could have been many things. He could have been handsome. At least he remembered his mother calling him such when he had still been a boy with a wide and toothy grin that he didn’t need to hide. He could have become a mage – his hill-folk blood had practically guaranteed him a place at Ban-Ard.

And maybe, as slim a chance as there had been, he could have become a poet. He remembered his mother singing to him about hens. It had been a silly song, but when he had undergone the Trials of the Grasses, the verses had been the last thing on his lips before the melody had turned into cries as fire raced through his blood.

That day, all dreams disappeared and turned into could-have-been’s that twisted Eskel’s stomach if he ever thought about them.

They didn’t matter anymore. Eskel was a witcher. One exceptionally skilled in magic, but a witcher nonetheless.

Perhaps he had even been handsome for a little while longer, but now there was not a hint of attractiveness left on him. It didn’t bother him. Couldn’t bother him.

At the very least he still had his poetry. No, not his. He had never written a verse in his life. If he had gone to Oxenfurt instead of being dragged to Kaer Morhen, he might have learned about metre and clever word-play. Now, he didn’t dare put a pen to paper. Too certain was the chance that his words would only be yet another disappointment. He’d rather keep the wish to write a might-be instead of a dreaded could-have-been. As long as he didn’t try and fail, he could still imagine that he might be able to become a poet one day. Until then, he would study his poetry collection and listen to the bards he came across in taverns, praying that their songs wouldn’t break off once they laid eyes on him.

It happened more often than Eskel would like to admit. Many times, he found himself lingering outside a tavern, just to get the chance of listening to the songs a little longer before they inevitably faded in discomfort when the bards noticed the witcher staring at them through the windows.

He would have done so today as well, if it weren’t for the long gash in his leg. It didn’t hurt too badly and it was already close to being healed, but he yearned to sit down and close his eyes for a little while, to eat and maybe, if he was lucky, to listen to some songs.

Even from outside the tavern he could hear that the bard singing a soaring ballad was talented.

So he pulled his hood up and pushed the door open. As he shuffled to a table at the corner, he tried to make himself as small and inconspicuous as possible.

He knew he should have kept his eyes cast down. He knew he should have kept to himself.

Yet there was something in the bard’s verses that made Eskel’s insides sing. He didn’t know the words for what he heard. Perhaps it was alliteration or anaphor? Whatever the bard had done to give his words life, it stirred something in Eskel.

He looked up before he could think better of it; before he could remember all the reasons why he shouldn’t do such a thing.

For a blessed heartbeat he was allowed to just look at the bard. There was no denying his beauty. Clearly, many people in this room looked at the bard’s blue eyes or long fingers with adoration.

Eskel noticed those things merely as an afterthought. He was too distracted by the almost wistful expression on the bard’s face, the way he subtly swayed with his music as if he was a part of it and the meaning he put into every word as it fell from his lips.

Eskel’s chest clenched at the sight. Without meaning to, he leaned forward to see better. It must have been that movement that caught the singer’s attention, for his eyes wandered over to Eskel.

And his voice broke. Blue eyes widened and fingers had to strain not to fumble.

Abruptly, Eskel looked away, pulling his hood deeper into his face to hide his eyes and turning his scarred side towards the wall for good measure.

It was already too late. All hope that the bard might not have realised exactly what Eskel was burst when the song came to an overly hurried end.

A handful of patrons muttered disapprovingly and one even gave a shout, demanding his coin back if the bard wasn’t going to play a full set.

Out of all the people, Eskel knew he was the one most disappointed in the abrupt yet not unexpected end of the performance. He would have loved to hear more of this bard’s art, to listen for long enough to figure out just how he crafted his verses.

Yet another could-have-been.

Eskel should probably leave. Maybe if he did, the bard would pick up his song again and Eskel would be able to listen to it while he put distance between himself and the tavern. His leg ached at the thought of having to get up already, but if it meant getting to hear a little more of the bard, it would have been worth it. Eskel was just about to stand up when someone pulled out the chair opposite of him and let themselves fall onto it with little grace, but palpable excitement.

Long fingers drummed onto the table as if the person’s energy couldn’t be contained. Or as if they were waiting impatiently for Eskel to leave.

“Apologies,” Eskel said, doing his best to make his voice sound smoother than it was. “I’ll leave the table to you.”

Unexpectedly, a hand shot out and grabbed Eskel’s wrist, lightly enough to make clear this person wasn’t out for a fight, but insistent enough to make Eskel tense.

“That would be defeating the purpose of me coming here, wouldn’t it?” That voice. It was the bard’s voice. Unwillingly, Eskel’s eyes snapped up and his breath hitched when they met blue. The bard’s easy smile didn’t leave him, even as he took in Eskel’s inhuman eyes and mangled face. “After all, I came here specifically to talk to you.”

“Oh.” Eskel relaxed slightly. This he could do. “Do you have a contract for me?”

The bard let out a pearling laugh that crinkled the skin around his eyes. Eskel’s chest clenched. It was rare a human laughed in his presence. No, that wasn’t quite true. People laughed constantly, though mostly at him. They would snicker blatantly when they saw his face or snort cruelly when he said something that had been meant to sound gentle and diplomatic but evidently came out as a pitiful attempt of an oafish mutant to fit in where there was no place for him.  

But never before had someone other than his family laughed in a way that made him think that perhaps he wasn’t the one being laughed at.

“Well, no. Not exactly.” The bard leaned forward with an eagerness that almost made Eskel draw back. No one leaned towards a witcher. Least of all Eskel with his disfigured face and hulking frame. “I was wondering if you were willing to let a humble bard accompany you on a hunt?”

Eskel blinked at him. “I- no. I just come from a hunt.” Absentmindedly, he shifted his leg beneath the table. “And it would be too-“

“Oh, don’t tell me it would be too dangerous.” The bard let go of Eskel’s wrist and waved it through the air dismissively. “Geralt tells me that all the time and I’m not dead yet, am I?”

Eskel’s brows would have drawn together, if he hadn’t trained himself to keep frowns off his face to stop it from becoming even more fearsome.

For a heartbeat he could only stare at the bard, trying desperately to connect the few things Geralt had told him about his bard to the man sitting in front of him now. A lot of the details – annoyingly talkative, a petty menace, dangerously ready to fall in love with anyone he met – weren’t things Eskel could ascertain from such a short time of talking to the man. But what had was most important was the way Geralt had talked about his bard. There had been a fondness to even his most exasperated words. A fondness that Eskel could imagine only too well being directed at someone like this bard. In fact, as the bard’s smile grew wider with every second that Eskel studied him and something warm and fuzzy spread through Eskel’s insides, he found himself feeling some of that fondness already.

He swallowed and tried to clear his throat as inconspicuously as possible. “Are you Jaskier?”

Jaskier’s eyes lit up with delight. “Geralt mentioned me? Didn’t think he would.”

“He had little choice in the matter.” Eskel’s lips would have twitched if he hadn’t feared that would make Jaskier recoil. “Lambert and I kept teasing him about the fact that there was a song about him.”

As soon as the words left him, he froze. His eyes widened and he scrambled for words to fix his mistake. “I don’t mean that as a bad thing, of course. It’s an honour to have you sing about witchers and the way you weave stories is incredible.”

A hint of red crept into Jaskier’s face that must have been a trick of the light. “Thank you,” he said almost sheepishly, but then his face brightened into something radiant and beautiful. “Wait, you are Eskel!”

Jaskier practically bounced in his chair in his eagerness to drag it even closer to the table. “Geralt told me so much about you!”

Eskel felt his throat grow tight. Far too often had Geralt found him in the library, leaning over a book of poetry and songs written by the very same man that sat before him now. How many times had Eskel drunk a little too much White Gull and told Geralt that he admired his bard?

“He did?” He asked hoarsely.

“Of course!” Jaskier let out a carefree laugh. “He always jokes that one day he would hand me over to you because you are the only witcher that wouldn’t go insane if he had to listen to me sing all day.”

Eskel’s lips twitched, though he turned his head just quickly enough to hide his smile. “I can imagine worse things than listening to your songs.”

Jaskier tilted his head to the side and gave Eskel a look of unashamed curiosity. “Why, my dear Eskel, is that a compliment?”

Eskel shook his head and hunched his shoulders. Before he could stop himself, his hand came up to paw at his scars uncomfortably.

“It…It was supposed to be teasing. I don’t- I’m sorry, I’m not good with that.” His eyes darted away and then quickly back to Jaskier. Putting as much sincerity as he could into his voice, he added, “I would enjoy listening to you sing some more. You have a beautiful voice and your song made me feel like I could almost see the images you were conjuring up.”

For a moment Jaskier only gaped at him and Eskel cursed himself. Of course he had messed this up again already. He shouldn’t have tried to fix his own mistakes. By now he should know that nothing good would ever come out of that. A poet such as Jaskier didn’t want a witcher’s clumsy attempts at complimenting his art, not when he undoubtedly was used to scholars’ and nobles’ praises.

But then Jaskier’s expression shifted and his eyes lit up with something almost like awe.

“That was one of the kindest things I’ve heard about my singing in years.” He ducked his head almost shyly. “Most people tend to criticise me. Rather coldly, might I add.”

“Nothing to criticise as far as I could see.” Eskel shrugged sheepishly. “As I said, I would love to hear more of your art.”

Jaskier contemplated him for a moment that made the warm feeling in Eskel’s chest burn brighter. For some reason he didn’t mind the staring when it was Jaskier’s eyes he could feel on him.

“Does that mean you wouldn’t mind if I wrote a song about you?”

Coming from anyone else, Eskel would have thought that those were just empty words. Eskel wasn’t song-worthy.

And yet, when Jaskier eventually invited him to share the room with him to save some coin, the bard was already humming a melody to a new song.

Neither of them slept much that night. The both of them stayed up until almost the early hours of the morning, discussing rhyme schemes and talking about how writing poetry helped putting meaning into bad experiences and immortalising beautiful ones. Softly, they recited their favourite poetry to each other.

Eskel was embarrassed to admit that he had memorised some of Jaskier’s poetry but the confession made Jaskier smile brighter than any human should smile in the presence of a witcher. And when Jaskier lamented that most of his favourite lines of poetry were merely fragments lost to time, Eskel perked up and filled in the gaps for him, promising to show him his collection of ancient poetry at Kaer Morhen one day.

It wasn’t something to be taken seriously; merely a suggestion made in the spur of the moment, but Jaskier looked at him as if he had hung the stars and the moon for him and Eskel found himself hoping that maybe someday he would know Jaskier well enough to be allowed to give him such gifts.

Eskel fully expected Jaskier to be gone in the morning, and his heart skipped a beat when instead Jaskier announced that he would stick around at least until he would get to see Eskel fight.

When Jaskier finally went his own way to meet up with Geralt again two weeks later, he left Eskel with a strange yearning in his chest and verses that had been written for no one but him.

And beneath it all, Jaskier left him with an itch in his fingers that urged him to buy a quill and ink. He didn’t put anything to paper just yet. But the might-be that had haunted him for decades got just a little closer to a could-be. Perhaps Eskel could become what he had always wanted to be after all.

Perhaps next time he saw Jaskier, he would be able to share his own verses with the poet.

[frogtanii]

It’s wind anon! (Imagine me as the screeching seagull meme) just pushing through the week. Getting the test out of my mind—it just sucks because there’s always this one test that I completely mess up on—and as someone who has to deal with all honors classes and my grades tend to be good, every time I fail to meet up to expectations my stress skyrockets. (Imagine a world where grades don’t matter and school is learning based rather than mark based...) Family pressures too—okay, wind anon is done ranting.

The update! The drama—I was there the moment it updated and I saw the comments rush in and I was laughing real hard.

But my reaction to the update!

Osamu POV :0!!! The insecurity... “all it did was remind him that he was alone”— I empathize because gosh, that is so real.

The attachment to Meiko though... his emotional state is on a very unstable tightrope. “Osamu had Meiko and he used to have Daichi and Iwaizumi...” that entire section has all my red flags raised. He’s going to completely break when everything comes out.

The loud clang startled me though. I was like “!!!” But it was our YN! Our kind, wonderful YN!! Trying to get snacks wwwwww.

Osamu thinking YN is cute :0 I be having a lot of thoughts about that but him squishing it down is fair. He considers himself to be in a committed relationship (though Meiko does not reciprocate and I am ready to fight regarding that) but I can respect his devotion (even if it is very misguided).

But. “After all, you were the reason Atsumu hated him now and never spoke to him anymore.” My gosh. What do I even say about this? Because the blame is entirely thrown off. I mean, you mentioned before Atsumu had a specific reason for believing in you over Meiko so I’m still waiting for that but Osamu is thinking something wrong but it’s a human action. It’s so easy to blame people to make yourself feel better. And your brain can do it without you realizing the depths of what has been thought.

Osamu being angry (!!!) and being a complete utter douche. YN literally just wanted a bag of chips and you’re here, crowding them in the pantry and being hostile. I don’t have much to say about it because he realized his mistake but by then he already stressed YN really badly and I am...(long sigh).

Atsumu to the rescue. We appreciate Atsumu very very much in this house. It really sucks that Osamu and Atsumu are confronting like this—I mean, Atsumu has been fighting a bit and Osamu had not really been listening to Atsumu on his own end prior to this confrontation so I’m...exhausted and a bit sad in the “It can’t be helped” kind of way.

“Osamu allowed him to, too in shock and ashamed to protest, much less fight back.” It couldn’t be helped considering how everything developed but...it still hurts my chest a bit, y’know? And then Osamu tries to apologize and I’m ready (so so ready) for them to communicate because they desperately need to—

But then Meiko comes in (I am...ready to throw stuff at her. Lots of stuff. Packing peanuts. All squeaky and annoying and bad for the environment just like she is—or something like that, I dunno, I’m half dead because I’m dealing with cramps rn) and all my wishes for them to finally have that much needed conversation where Osamu can finally break down and cry—all my wishes are turned to ash like.

(Angry Wind anon noises)

Meiko rubbing her makeup all over Osamu’s shirt like he is a rag. What in the... And her 4 inch heels please, I cannot, why, I can’t deal with this, I can’t, don’t make me get close to her because I’m like Yachi (stressed out of my mind). Please don’t do this to me. But yeah, Meiko with her poor makeup that doesn’t stay on her face. What the heck....

And Meiko’s scent... gross. Like, brown sugar, cute, nice, baked goods do smell really nice, (ever add a bunch of vanilla extract to a recipe? It like, perfumes around everywhere, it’s insane and wonderful) but chances are (because it’s Meiko), it’s overbearingly sweet. Chinese food (I do not trust her taste in Chinese food to be frank), I happen to come from a Chinese family, I have Chinese food for dinner like everyday, it would take a lot to be able to get that sort of scent on you. And I do mean a lot. And hairspray??? Chemical? I do not,,, I,,, Osamu, why would you breathe that in? It’s gonna be real bad for your lungs? And we already know Meiko smokes as well—your lung health, please value it—

And then the Suna entrance. Wonderfully done fr0ggy!

Final thoughts, I am very much projecting onto Yachi rn. Yachi has been in the house for less than a week and she already has to deal with this. The company should give her a raise. My gosh.

Anyway, might as well do a thoughts/headcanon thing because it’s been a while and my mind is still on gem/jewel stuff (so hope you don’t mind!)

Okay, so Kenma I think would go with a warm colored gemstone, and citrine would work well with him! “Protection against evil thoughts” because we know Meiko has ramped up is insecurity and lowered his self-esteem.

I mentioned this before last time but Sakusa is definitely onyx. That black is iconic, and “sharpening wit” would make sense with his grace for word play and snark.

Akaashi is an interesting one...I think sapphire. I mean, sapphire can have many colors besides the classic dark blue, so that’s one thing, but it’s known for “loyalty and a pledge of trust” which Akaashi gave. I think it’s suitable for him.

Suga...initially I was thinking pearl would match him in terms of appearance, but actually looking at my reference, turquoise would work really really well with him. “Protect from evil, maintain virtue, bring good luck”. Would work well.

For Atsumu and Osamu I wanted something that could represent their duality. My first thought was gold and silver. I mean, it’d fit in terms of appearance but I’m not sure that would be the best comparison. Gold doesn’t rust so it fits Atsumu who never fell for Meiko’s tricks. Silver has been said to vanquish dark/evil beings (vampires, werewolves, the classic silver bullets and stakes). It would be interesting to see if the comparison will apply to today’s update :D!

I like how my brain shut off and couldn’t remember anyone else for a second—anyway, Oikawa... every time I think of him, I want some hue of blue wwww. I guess Aquamarine “soothing influence” would work. Since he joined YN’s side, he has been able to see the big picture and be a voice of reason. He’s thoughtful and I think aquamarine which encourages long relationships is suitable because that is what he wanted. So yes, aquamarine.

Bokuto...is a tough one. I’m trying to still keep with their color schemes a bit. I think carnelian would work. “Health, luck, bold energy, warmth, joy”—it would represent him fine. It’s a bit more orange than I would prefer but it suits him so I think it’s okay.

Iwaizumi... emerald? I mean, he does suit green tones, and “rebirth, regeneration, new hope” would work just fine for him.

Right now my brain is complete mush and I can’t think of anything for Kuroo and Daichi. Like, Kuroo would be red, sure, but the more famous ruby/garnet I think don’t represent him fully because he is still rather contained. Hmm, would need to think about them more.

But I’d like your thoughts on this too :D!!

I wanna do something suitable for all colors for YN, so opal! YN has many different parts and colors and is overall a very vivid person—if you tilt opal, you see more and more faces and things underneath being brought into your eyes. YN may be seen from many different perspectives, but YN is always beautiful and amazing. So opal is what I think YN would be.

Anyway, I’ll end here :D! Need to eat lunch. Much love towards you fr0ggy! Make sure you eat and rest up too~ drink some water or any other fluid to hydrate! And keep warm too. Much love to all the fans and supporters and ask senders too! It’s really awesome seeing and hearing from all of you and seeing new faces with the old. Love the excitement and points you all bring up—makes my brain happy.

MAJDKD I NEED TO POST THE NEW CHAPTER BUT I HAD TO RESPOND TO THIS FIRST BESTIE ILY N I LOVE TUIS — I AM OBSESSED W THE CRYSTAL (??) STUFF??? IVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD IT BUT I THINK YOIVE EXPLAINED EACH GEM N WHY SO BEAUTIFULLY I AM IN LOVE W U KITH KITH UR SO LOVELY HAVE AN AMAZING DAY (sending u good vibes n anti-stress love >333)

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

I don’t need you to love me, I love me

I’m gonna miss writing about Pearl.

As the loneliest Crystal Gem, a loyal servant who became a fierce ally, then a spurned lover, then a grieving survivor, Pearl’s story is about discovering who she can be on her own terms. Like Steven, she believes that her value comes from being valued, but unlike Steven, she was literally programmed this way and has an even harder time breaking loose, so she starts off at the toxic level of selfish selflessness that threatens to consume him, directed towards someone who’s been dead for years. She defines herself by her relationships, but struggles with all of them because she only understands a dynamic where one person is superior and the other is inferior; as such, her life is an endless evaluation of whether she’s worse or better than the people around her, thus whether she should be deferential or condescending. Her problem goes beyond not knowing how to develop loving relationships with equals: she doesn’t know how to love herself.

But she changes her mind.

“We need to talk about us.”

The first act of Change Your Mind (which lines up nicely with its first quarter) sets the stage with Blue and Yellow both converting to Steven’s cause, and while compelling, it’s appropriately intense. That intensity gets even higher as the episode continues, but this is still a big finale, so it’s about damn time for some fanservice.

After a quick “go to your rooms” to reinforce that White Diamond is the Diamonds’ mother more than their older sister, Connie gets the body part pun train rolling: “face-off” will soon be followed by “did you have a hand in this?” and “lend me a hand” (which earns a chuckle from Blue), Pink’s legs succumb when Steven takes a knee, and getting into White’s head becomes the primary goal of the second act (so all of this second quarter and most of the third). Still, the levity seems fleeting before two glints in the sky bring us the one-two punch of Bismuth leading the charge and Lapis and Peridot showing off their threads.

Bismuth fits right in as the leader of the B-Team, as beyond her seniority she’s clearly more competent at running a show than the other two (see: The New Crystal Gems). But her reverse electric guitar soon cedes to a glorious harmony of Lapis and Peridot’s themes as we see their new forms: Lapis gets pants and sandals, and Peridot gets ridiculous shades and a trashcan lid, the perfect adaptation of Static’s saucer for the Crystal Gems’ resident raccoon. Peridot goes ham with three stars, while Lapis wears a subtle dark blue variant that includes all five points if we count her legs. For a moment, everything is right in the world.

Their timing couldn’t be better, and not just because we need some stress relief. Steven begins the finale with one friend on his side, then he gets two Diamonds on his side, and now he has three reinforcements on his side, and this growing group of allies all represent what the Big Three Crystal Gems can’t: the family that Steven has chosen, rather than the family he grew up with. These relationships are all a result of his effort, whether going out of his way to befriend Connie or winning over the five former enemies that now stand at his side, and together they‘re one huge reminder that you can reach people if they’re willing to be reached. White Diamond isn’t a villain because she’s cruel, she’s a villain because she quashes any effort to change her mind.

Furthermore, seeing Lapis and Peridot  in particular next to a pale, prejudiced, recently-discovered member of Steven’s extended family who disagrees with a parent’s name change evokes that other long episode where Steven went out on a limb to change someone’s mind, and the comparison does wonders for putting White Diamond’s bigotry in perspective.

I’ve already made my defense of Andy, but in short, his irritable first impression masks how open-minded he ends up being. Sure, he has some lousy beliefs, but he’s willing to sit down with folks he disagrees with and try and look for ways to either compromise or straight-up be convinced that those beliefs might be wrong. On its own, Gem Harvest could be read as a little too hopeful, especially as it came out weeks after the 2016 election gave proud bigots the White House, but next to Change Your Mind it expands on the finale’s message: keep an open heart and mind, because people can surprise you if you give them a chance, but don’t let yourself be a doormat in the process.

White Diamond would never have come to the Crystal Gems’ table. She still hasn’t even shown up in person since Legs From Here to Homeworld, using a warped version of the same delegation Steven practices in his talks with the Diamonds: he helps others bring their individual experiences to light, showing that his position isn’t unique, while she blots out their individuality and replaces them with her. Blue and Yellow’s contrast has been a plot point for far longer, but Pink and White (and now Steven and White) are an even starker pair of foils, divided not only by personality but by size and age.

Knowing how hard it will be to reach White, Yellow and Blue again suggest that Steven and the Crystal Gems bail, offering their own ships now that Pink’s is unavailable. While this shows how profoundly they believe in him, it again reveals how unfamiliar these two are with being “good.” Beyond the plan only delaying the inevitable (White Diamond for sure could send more troops to Earth in this scenario), Steven points out that his mother failed in both of her identities to confront the problem in a healthy way, and continuing to avoid it will mean it never gets solved. Rose is still a progression from Pink and Yellow and Blue, as fighting for your beliefs addresses the issue more directly than running away, but Steven in turn is a progression from Rose.

Then Connie’s opening words in Blue and Yellow’s conversions pay off. This time she’s the one ending the conversation, and she’s gained enough of their attention that they don’t write her off as a blathering human. Steven never got to meet Rose, rank-and-file Gems don’t have parents, and White Diamond seems to be the root of it all, so Connie is the ideal voice to reach the Diamond Sisters: she’s the only other person on the planet with a living mother. Where Dr. Maheswaran at her worst once stood in for Yellow Diamond, she can now represent the bigger fish, both in her similar brand of maternal tyranny and in the hope that her attitude can change after a good talk.

And just as Connie takes over Steven’s role as the big finisher for Blue and Yellow, Steven takes over Connie’s role as the voice introducing bigger voices now that it’s time to face White. He works with his aunts to bring his grandmother to a standstill—not by beating her statue-like ship into submission, but by joining the arm-ships to the body and completing the picture—and says his piece briefly before ceding the floor to a pair that White has victimized for far longer than the past week or so.

I love that Yellow is the first to speak, flipping the Diamonds’ conversion order and subverting the notion that the more emotionally open Blue might take the lead. This isn’t just a matter of clarity, but bravery, and Yellow has always been the more confrontational of the pair. It’s also that much more impactful to see Yellow push past her fear and allow herself to be vulnerable, given how hard she’s worked to maintain her air of stoicism. Patti LuPone’s raw power has served the character well, and she keeps up the same petulant energy that saw Yellow dishing about White in Familiar, but now she funnels all of it into a stirring argument against the exacting nature of Homeworld society. And because Yellow helps pave the way, Blue can deepen their point by defending Pink’s role in the quartet and detailing how White’s orders have caused the whole family to suffer.

Steven bookends the Diamonds by suggesting that White can start helping everyone by helping her daughters. Then White shows what kind of “help” she’s willing to provide.

Pink’s former pearl was already proof that White Diamond has the power to possess others, but it’s another thing to see it in action. The whole episode so far has been about building up hope again after Steven is knocked down by Homeworld, but all it takes is one agonizing glare to send everything backwards. Blue and Yellow are even worse off than they were before, and as they’re brought into White’s fold, their arms follow suit. White drops the Crystal Gems and lets them fall, then Steven drops the Crystal Gems and dives after them.

As he slides down alien architecture on his shield, the soundtrack gives a nod to the theme song to prepare us for more fanservice. Now that White has made it clear that talking isn’t going to get us anywhere, it’s time for more action. Now that we’ve established the importance of Steven’s chosen family, it’s time to reconnect with the family he was born into.

Amethyst is first, because of course she is. She’s usually the quickest to reform, and she’s the only Gem that Steven has fused with, so Smoky Quartz is the best start if the goal is reeling off three fusions in a row with a growing sense of excitement. Smoky’s theme heralds this new development with glee, evoking the pure joy of seeing a new fusion from Earthlings as it becomes clear what the show is doing. Fusion has recently featured as a stand-in for marriage and an act of rebellion, but now it represents familial love, and doubles as an elegant plot device to get the poofed crew back in action. The wonder of fusion has always been that beyond whatever metaphor it currently serves, it’s also just a really neat piece of magic that lends itself to awesome visuals, and this whole sequence revels in the glorious spectacle.

Pearl is second, because we’ve already seen another version of Rainbow Quartz, so the biggest reveal is bound to be the Garnet fusion. Rainbow Quartz 2.0 blends the old with the new, immediately showing off the latest clever fusion of weapons (a shield and a spear into a parasol) and introducing a blue jacket that will soon belong to Pearl. The drumkit/chiptune mashup of Smoky’s theme is replaced by a piano/chiptune mashup, and then this new fusion opens their mouth.

Of all of Steven’s fusions with a female or female-presenting partner, this is the one with a male voice actor, and it couldn’t be more perfect. Rainbow Quartz was the only one of Rose’s fusions that we saw, and Now We’re Only Falling Apart shows that she was the second-ever cross-Gem fusion after Garnet (that we know of), so she was clearly something special. Pearl’s romantic interest in Rose complicates matters further, as Rainbow Quartz is an embodiment of a deeply imperfect relationship. This is a character with a lot of baggage, but casting Alastair James puts a hard stop to the idea that this is the same Rainbow Quartz, even before we hear them refer to themself as “2.0.” After the literal nightmare that begins Change Your Mind and the figurative nightmare to come, it’s wonderful to have one more piece of evidence that Steven and Rose are different people.

Amethyst and Pearl, like Lapis and Peridot, get great new looks, and they’ll soon be followed by Garnet (after the commercial break). If this was just for the sake of fanservice, it’d be more than enough: it’s always fun to get outfit changes, and between that and the fusions (including Sunstone and Obsidian; again, after the commercial break!) we get a pleasant treat to sate us between the drama. But as always, the show finds a way to create deeper meaning in the magic.

The Diamonds look the same now as they did thousands of years ago, and one of the reasons why is that they’re unbreakable. Creating a new form requires poofing, which is a very silly way to say that the Crystal Gems have found a way to grow through pain.

Life will always have its share of pain. Part of growing up, maybe the biggest part, is figuring out what you’re going to do about it. The Diamonds react to pain by closing themselves off and letting their problems fester rather than addressing them head-on. But over the course of the series, Lapis and Peridot and Amethyst and Pearl and Garnet have put in the work to learn from their pain and heal, and because they’re literal projections of their true selves, they get a physical manifestation of that growth that can only come after weathering one more blow.

To be clear, pain itself shouldn’t be glamorized. It sucks, and it’s okay if your reaction is to take care of yourself rather than use it for Creative Fuel. But the Crystal Gems are what happens when you deal with your pain, and the Diamonds are what happens when you don’t. And because Steven shares the legacy of both, Steven Universe is about him helping others through their pain and Steven Universe Future is about finally confronting his own.

We end with the most frustrating commercial break of the three, coming right in the middle of the second act, so we’ll just keep on going with fusions and new outfits next time. But if we have to stop partway through a scene, at least we get a Monty Python Foot to stamp out the first half of Change Your Mind.

I Can’t Believe We’ve Come So Far

Hilary Florido is the only storyboarder with their own recurring segment in Steven, Universally. But every other storyboarder had plenty of opportunities to make a fully realized High School AU in their promo art, and none of them did, so that’s on them.

Florido is obviously more than her promo art, but it speaks to a specific level of nerdy passion that made her and longtime coboarder Jesse Zuke so dang good at Peridot episodes, starting with just their second collaboration, the iconic Catch and Release. From there they gave us Too Far and Log Date 7 15 2 and Barn Mates and Too Short to Ride and Beta and Gem Harvest, and Florido kept the ride going with Raising the Barn. Peridot would not be Peridot without Hilary Florido.

In terms of more serious clods, Florido is the only person to board all three Kevin appearances (Alone Together with Rebecca Sugar and first regular coboarder Katie Mitroff, Beach City Drift with Zuke, and Kevin Party with final regular coboarder Danny Cragg, who also stopped boarding after the movie). She gave us as Ronaldo at his worst in Rocknaldo and Aquamarine at her worst in I Am My Mom. And as if she needed further proof of her prowess with harrowing material, she gave us Alone at Sea and A Single Pale Rose.

It’s weird to attribute good Steven writing to any one boarder, given he’s in every episode but Jungle Moon and he’s generally pretty great, but Florido worked on some of the most important moments of Steven letting us into his deeper thoughts: she’s behind him getting real with the Cool Kids in Joy Ride, with Amethyst in Steven vs. Amethyst, and with himself in a rare monologue in Lion 4. His ability to discuss the uncomfortable subtext of Mystery Girl’s visual similarity to Rose is key to the magnificent tone of Last One Out of Beach City, and his introspection about his mother’s older identity is just as important to Familiar.

In short, Hilary Florido rocked at characters with rough edges, whether it was Peridot’s ornery id, a bevy of outright villains ruining everyone’s day, normally sympathetic characters doing dubious things, or Steven giving himself enough of a break to complain. She stepped up as a storyboard supervisor for Steven Universe Future, but even if she hadn’t, her legacy would be secure.

(Frankly it’d be secure even if the only thing she gave us was this.)

[who-talks-first]

Okay I'm having trouble finding everyone's posts from Friday. But I just watched chapter 9 and I have some thoughts.

Opening the episode with Din saying he doesn't gamble then ending it with him making a massive gamble was interesting. Although I genuinely don't think he ever does anything he doesn't believe he can do.

The fights in this episode are amazing. Just stunning:

The fight at the arena. The Child ducking when he sees the Birds activate. "I'm not." Really. Din, stop being so goddamn fucking hot, I'm trying to watch the damn show! The whole dangling the gangster part. "You won't die by my hand." (one of the best parts of the character Din Djarin is he is both viciously ruthless and honorable to a fault. I love it!)

The fighting at the end. Both men flying in sync to kill the beast. The Raiders and townsfolk grudgingly working together. But it would have worked better just leaving the loaded bantha in the valley, luring the best out, and detonating it. Fewer civilian deaths but what do I know, I wasn't raised in the fighting corps. And god at the end when Din soars out of the monster's mouth! I that was how the episode would end as soon as I saw the explosives. But still so fucking cool! Is there a name for that trope? I call it the Hercules.

Can we talk for a second about how Din looks in this ep? The strides, the poses and posture. He exudes so much bde that it physically hurts me. Clearly a lot of that is Mandalorian in nature, if those images of Boba Fett from the comics tell us anything (Fett sitting spread in his ship and Din doing it on the wagon at Sorgan have p much the same energy). Just looking fine as hell through the whole thing, even covered in deadly dragon stomach acid.

And can we talk about how much he says this episode? He explains the Tuskens' behavior, translates, plans, barters, smooches doggies, etc. He talks a lot. And I think that's interesting. Din has this reputation as being awkward in social situations and quiet. And like, it's one thing feeling shy around the beautiful widow who's hitting on you. But he says what he means clearly and more or less concisely, including some one-liners and sarcasm. I think he could be described as "laconic" (my character does describe him as such in the thing I'm writing), which means they use as few words as possible to get their point across. Din has no hesitation in speaking, he just prefers to only speak when he has something to say, if that makes sense.

So happy to see Aunt Peli! And Din being like "eh let them work" That's what we call growth.

The casting. I nearly lost my shit when Timothy Olyphant was under the helmet, looking like a whole ass meal. Like that is the most flattering haircut and beard combo I've ever seen on him. Don't @me but he could get it. And poor typecast Leguizamo. Still great tho. He was fun little asshole.

I love when this show doubles down on the western themes:

Vanth's name, accent, role, and general appearance all line up with a small town wild west sheriff. Just showing up and saving the town, so they're like, you're the Lone Ranger now! Olyphant has played western roles before, including voicing The Spirit of the West (an avatar of the legends and ideals of the wild west modeled on Clint Eastwood's western characters) in the animated film Rango (a lot of the Mandalorian's aesthetic comes from Eastwood's movies).

The Mandalorian theme but softly strummed on a Spanish (nylon string) guitar is very evocative of a border town.

The tuskens represent an Indian tribe. The abandoned mining town. The mysterious stranger who comes to town and saves it. Vanth and Din nearly have a quickdraw shootout! The child is hiding in a spittoon for chrissakes!

It really echoes the 7 Samurai theme of chapter 4. I know it's an overlapping, repeating theme in western film. I guess I was surprised to see it again so quickly.

I don't know how I feel about Din speaking Tusken. Signing was one thing. But I just giggled uncomfortably the whole time feeling it was kinda silly (and I had assumed the reason he signed was because humans couldn't speak Tusken). Was that our big hero, heartthrob, and favorite actor Mr. Pascal sitting in the studio making those noises? Rrrhehh rheh rrhehh! I dunno I'm just. Reeling.

Isn't interesting that Din would annihilate the entire populace of Jawas without batting an eye, but he would do almost anything to protect the Sand People? I know there's something to that, about marginalized/eugenicized groups versus like colonialism and whatever vulture like construct you would attribute to the Jawas. But I'm not smart enough to articulate it.

Okay, so the obvious: Boba Fett. Really shocked to see his armor on someone else. I'd already seen the casting of Morrison, so I wasn't like, "is he dead?" and I knew right away this hick didn't take it off him. I wonder if the Jawas stunned him and removed it. Either way, there's going to be hell to pay. I can't wait to see Din and Boba interact; I wonder how they'll respond to each other. And even though Fett should be in his early 40s (I think) he really looks like hell. I mean, I know he's seen some shit. But I wonder what's been up with him in the last decade or so.

Some stuff I thought I noticed, but I need y'all to help me confirm:

Was that Anakin's podracer engine?

Was that C-3PO graffitied on the wall in the dirty city?

Were we supposed to recognize R5?

There's a couple others but I forgot em. I gotta watch it again.

Some questions:

What was the spherical thing the Tusken Raiders recovered from the beast's remains? The scene mirrored the Jawas and the mudhorn's TSUGA! Tsuga tsuga! Tsuuuga! But that didn't look like an egg. If I didn't know better I would swear it was a pearl. (which almost makes sense if you take into account that this guy eats dirt for a living and could have an organ or extra stomach in there like those gross hard balls they used to pull out of ox bellies) Or was it mentioned earlier and I didn't catch it? There was a lot going on.

What are the sand doggies? They're so cute! And that totally establishes our mans as a dog person. Writers, start your fics!

I'm a bit confused about the town's history. How have the people survived for so long with the beast there? Was it the Krayt dragon that wiped it literally off the map? How does the slaving mining guild fit in there?

It really looks in chapter 4 that those krill are native (it's not explicitly stated tho). If no one even knows where Sorgan is and it doesn't have a big export economy, how do these people in the middle of buttfuck nowhere have spotchka?

On that note, how did that city gangster hear about Fett/Vanth? I mean, I dig that he's a collector of beskar'gam, but like, that's still way out there.

The jingling spurs sound in chapter 5 is deliberately obvious when that mysterious figure comes upon Fennec Shand. Can we assume that's Cobb Vanth there? Because clearly, Fett has been without his armor for a while. If it was Vanth, what did he do with her? I don't believe for a second that she's dead. He's not a bounty hunter and he wouldn't have any idea she was valuable since the Guild had abandoned Tatooine. Barter for help/transportation /goods/labor /etc? Also, if it was Vanth, did he witness the whole thing? If so, he knows who Din is. Maybe knows Toro. I dunno. Lots of thoughts. Did he just stumble upon her while traveling back to his village? I forgot the name already lol Mos Pelegrino?

Okay it's nearly 4 am. I genuinely can't remember if I had anything else to say. Please continue to tag your spoilers cuz I will again not get to view the episode until after y'all do next week. But until then, please come yell at me about our favorite show and space boyfriend. I like crazy theories too.

Love y'all. 😘😘😘

[hpdabbles]

What’s in a Name?

For @ironicallypresant​ who request “some kind of fae au for the wizarding world I’ve read a few things where lily is fae but never James.”  I hope you like it!

Harry Potter settled down in the Hogwarts Express with a sigh and throwing a quick thank you to the two redheads that help him onboard. He couldn’t tell which one was Forge or Gred (what odd names), but they offer him a smile and a happy little wave. “Anything for a being of mischief!”

Harry didn’t know what that meant, but assuming it was just a wizard thing, he left it well alone. He still couldn’t quite believe he was a wizard, after all this time, all these strange unexplainable phenomenons, the sense of being misplaced in the perfectly normal family and normal neighborhood. 

It was because he is magic. Because his parents had been magic. 

Even if a month had gone by, Harry still had moments where he expected to wake up back in the cupboard and learn this had all been a cruel dream. 

“Excuse me? Can I sit here? Everywhere else is full.” 

Startled out of his thoughts Harry swings his eyes to the door where a redhead boy peaks at him expectantly. Harry never has anyone want to sit with him before, and he finds he doesn’t know how to say the words so he settles for nodding his head and waving a hand to the opposite side of him.

“Thanks,” The boy says dragging in a trunk behind him. Harry can’t help but notice how old and run down it is....maybe the boy would like to trade something to get a better trunk....Harry could offer a deal to-

Don’t try to drag people into your hustles boy! Uncle Vernon's voice sneers in his mind, making the dark hair boy jump. Ashamed he turns his gaze away from the trunk feeling his inside turn painfully for a few seconds. He clenches his fists in his lap trying to breathe through the ache in his chest until the sharpness fades away.

All of this happens in seconds and by the time the red hair child is settled in sit the Harry doesn’t show any sign of discomfort. For as long as Harry been able to remember those random pains come and go, never lasting for longer than five seconds but consist enough for teachers to point it out to his guardians. They took him to a doctor who couldn’t find anything wrong with Harry and it quickly became another “lie” Harry was famous for telling. 

It’s gotten to the point he no longer saw reason to tell people about them, after all, no one would listen anyway. He took his hand off his chest, settling it in his lap happy the pain had turned to soreness instead. 

He doesn’t think the stranger would have appreciated Harry pointing out the terrible state of his trunk. Heavens knows the shame that overcomes him whenever someone sneered at his clothes, always too big and dirty, compared to his properly dressed family members.

 He offers the boy a shy smile, trying to find something to say. “What’s your name?”

The redhead boy raises a brow, dragging his gaze pointedly to Harry’s hair before shrugging  “Whatever you like to call me.”

Harry didn’t know how to respond to that. “What?”

“Whatever you want to call me. I’ll answer to it” The boy says casually, then seems to rethink that as he hasty adds on “As long as it’s not mocking. I get that too much from Fre- ugh my twin brothers.”

“a nickname?” Harry asks feeling both off footed and a bit ecstatic. No one ever asked Harry to give them a nickname before it was almost like the boy wanted to be close to him like real friends were. 

“Nick sounds fine,” The newly dub Nick says shrugging his small shoulders. “ I appreciate the last name even if it’s just the word Name.”

Harry blinks bewildered green eyes at him, pulling at his long sleeves over his hands. A nervous habit he developed over the years. “You want me to call you Nick Name?”

“Sure mate.”

“Why?” Was he mocking Harry? 

The boy snorts,  “Mate, your hair gave you away. No offense but my Mum didn’t raise a fool. I’m not about to give away my name so easily.”

“My...hair?” Reaching up to try and smooth his wild hair Harry wonders if it fell to the side to reveal his scar. Was this about him being famous? 

“Yeah” Nick nods as if that means anything, like they somehow got on the same page now, giving Harry a smile that seems too friendly for someone making fun of him. “Not that I mind, it’s in your nature after all, but you should wait till your older to make Deals. Bit funnier that way yeah?”

The way he says that, where he can hear the capital D, makes something in Harry ding, as if though he rung a bell in his head. Harry doesn't know why but it makes him smile. 

Nick returns the grin. “Your hair is standing up.”

“What!?” Harry reaches up to slap the locks down that is for some reason, risen in the air. Not like a cowlick but closer to when he is underwater, floating about gently. He blushes, ashamed of his freak curls, and hoping Nick wouldn’t be disgusted by him. 

“It’s wicked that it does that,” Nick says, his blue eyes flickering upwards to his straight red hair. “Mine just flops uselessly like a dead mop on my head. I wish I was as cute as you.”

Harry has never been as red as he was at that moment.  “C-cute?”

No one ever thought Harry was cute before. Heck, no one thought he was anything other than a smear on society. 

“Oh!” The boy slaps his forehead as if he caught himself saying something foolish. Sheepishly he offers Harry a shrug. “I tend to put my foot in my mouth. I know I shouldn’t call your kind cute. I didn’t mean to stereotype you mate, sorry about that. Say what should I call you? Mate just sounds weird to say over and over again.”

Harry feels like the communication between them was failing. Nick was obviously speaking English but somehow it was an entirely different language. “I’m Har-”

The door opens again, this time to show a blond boy in elegant robes around their age. He gave the room a quick once over, passing Nick without a second glance. The moment his eyes land on Harry however, he does a double-take, staring at his hair with a fierce intensity. 

Then he smiles pearl white teeth. “I heard the Boy-Who-Lived was in this compartment. Is that you?”

“Oh him, I mean yeah that's me. I’m the Boy-Who-Lived.” Harry answers awkwardly still not used to his famous title. Across from him Nick looks startled. 

“Are you really?” 

Harry reaches up to lift his bangs flashing the strange scar he had for as long as he could remember. Nick's eyes widen before he breaths “That’s wicked.”

“Thanks?” He doesn't know how he should respond to the obvious awe in Nick’s face now. The blond boy clears his throat stepping forward with a hand raised.

“It’s nice to meet you.”  

Harry blinks then shakes it as well. Two people that want to talk to him. Harry is on a roll today! As he shook the hand he can’t help but notice the way the blond boy’s eyes seem to be fixed on his lips, and he wonders if he wanted a kiss. Maybe Harry could trade him something for a quick peck-

No. Harry tells himself  No hustles. No freakiness. Stop it.  Besides how weird would it be to trade something for a kiss? He wants to makes friends not scare everyone away. 

A sharp pain wrecks havoc across his torso, making him wince slightly. He fights the urge to press his palm against the pain.  

“It’s nice to meet you too-ugh sorry I didn’t get your name?” Harry says feeling nervous, his voice wavering towards the end. Had the other said it and he missed it due to the stinging ache?

The blond looks unimpressed for a moment then he snorts.  “Nice try. You can call me whatever you please”

“How about Ferret?” Nice offers with a grin obviously trying for good humor teasing. “You got the features.”

“Think that’s funny do you?” The blond snaps face clouded with displeasure. Obviously, the other took it as an insult instead.  “I don’t need to focus on your features. Just point out the red hair, hand me downs and-

Harry quickly intervenes not wanting his new possible friends to fight. Besides this is the second nickname of his life, it was special, Harry had only been on the train for a short while and already he was connecting better to the people here then all of the eleven years combine back in Privet Drive.

“How about Pearl?” He offers which brings the blond up short. He hastes to explain his reasoning feeling foolish for over-explain but unable to stop.  “Since you look really....fancy...and you have.. near oval white hair?”

He winces at the expression of consideration that overcomes the blond’s face feeling like he just messed this all up. Until the blond smiles, satisfied. “Pearl is a good name. I shall call you Emerald. You have lovely green eyes, it seems fitting”

Harry bit his lip, ducking his head to hide the sudden overwhelming happiness he got from that comment. He’s always been rather weak to them, despite how rarely he’s ever received them. 

Nick chuckles “Emerald, your hair is floating again. Must be because your feeling light after that compliment. Heh heh heh, get it?”

Harry would die for him. He doesn’t know why but that usage of puns makes him want to die for him. If anyone ever threatens him, Harry would tear them apart before they could finish their sentence. In fact, Harry was taking him home, Nick was his now, of course only if Nick wanted to come with him but his house was his now and-

“You Fae are so easy,” Pearl says rolling his eyes. “It wasn’t even a clever pun.”

Harry stops the sudden possessive thoughts to stare at him confusingly. “I’m sorry?”

“I know you like flattery-”

“You think I’m a fairy?” Harry interrupts utterly bewildered. “Why?”

For some reason, Pearl looks alarmed. “No! No! I meant no offense. I would never compare you to a fairy. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. Please,  accept my humble and honest apologies.” 

“But you just said I was a fairy.”

“No, he said Fae.” Nick hastily adds. “I swear he did.”

“...What’s a Fae?”

The two stare at him, then Nick forces a laugh. “Good one Emblard. Real funny.”

A fuzzy buzz sound goes off somewhere behind Harry’s eyes. He’s lying, but he can’t bring himself to point it out. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia don’t like it when Harry points out lies. It’s weird but he’ always been able to tell when someone lies to him. 

 “Thanks.” He says instead. Both boys relax. “Do either of you know anything about Hogwarts?” 

The rest of the ride was spent getting Harry up to speed on all these Hogwarts until a girl arrived looking for a toad. Before anyone can open their mouths she moves right on to introductions ignoring the fact they couldn’t respond to her inquiry of the lost toad.  “I’m Hermione Granger and this is Nevi-”

“Don’t tell him my name!” The chubby boy yelps  “Are you mad?”

Harry stares at the girl, her name wrapping around him the same way all names do. 

“Nice to meet you, Hermione” Her name rolls off his tongue like caramel. He likes the taste of it, but he fights the mad smirk that always surfaces his face when meeting new people. His aunt Petunia hates it, and usually it earns him a wack of a pan to the head. 

Sadly, like now, he can’t fight it completely and it breaks across his face slowly, sharply, and overly eager.  The three other males wince. “I’m Harry Potter.”

The girl goes white. “You’re a Fae.”

“I’m....I’m sorry I’m a what?” Harry asks smirk falling right off his face.  

“A F-Fae. I read about you...in the books” Hermione gulps looking close to shaking. “I didn’t know...I know it said the hair was a sign but I just thought you don’t use a comb or-”

“Granger stop while your ahead!” Nick shouts alarm. “Don’t insult him!”

“Wait wait,” Harry says raising his hands as the girl looks about close to bursting into tears and the other two- Pearl and Chubby boy- seem about to make a run for the door. “What on earth you all going on about?”

“You...didn't know?” Hermonie sounds shocked. Then her eyes widen “Is this a trick? Surely you are aware that you’re a Fae Harry.”

“I’m a what?”

“A Fae. Like all Potters before you.”

“My Dad was a Fae?” Harry leans closer to her hungry for anything of his parents. 

Suddenly Hermonie sat up straight,  “I’ll trade you everything I know about the Potter family that I read exchange for my real name. We can change it to a nickname....If...if you want?”

Harry is extremely embarrassed by the purr like noise that started somewhere in his throat. He just knows his hair is floating again, and he can feel his cheeks gaining a healthy flush. “Oh! Yes please, I’ll give you the best nickname ever promise!”

Hermonie mouth drops, her own face turning bright red. For a moment she seems to have stop functioning, unable to look away from Harry who is still making that odd purring noise. The other members are as equally flustered.

 “Is this the Veela Allure I read about?” Hermonie whimpers after a moment.

“No, this is a Fae Deal.” Chubby boy stutters out, hiding his eyes behind his hands. Though he is taking small peaks at Harry form between his fingers only to close them. A few seconds later he spreads his fingers again. “It’s one of the reasons they get so many Deals. People like...um...looking.”

“Hermonie! Hermonie! Hermione!” Harry calls leaning towards the girl, his voice having an odd little ring to it now “Please tell me! I’ll give you a nickname if you want but please, what is this about the Potters?”

“Give me my nickname first,” The girl says after swallowing twice. 

Harry tilts his head thinking quickly “How about Bella? It means beauty in French.”

“Bella is fine” The poor girl squeaks sounding like she is close to choking. “Bella is nice. Thank you.”

Harry's lips pull into that mad smirk once more, unknown to him making his face turn a bit....foreboding  “You owe me my information.”

She goes pale once more. “Y-yes of course.” 

It’s a very educational conversation. 

[sanstropfremir]

kingdom episode 3 baby!!!!

listen. i’m not gonna lie i was nervous as hell for this episode. i saw that preview like everyone else and unfortunately i have ears so i was convinced the ateez stage was going to be a trainwreck. i was absolutely banking on sf9 and skz to do something even mildy interesting to save me from the ear damage and having to talk to extensively about why that disaster happened. but somehow i woke up in an alternate universe and you know what? with the exception of that high note the ateez stage fucked. i know. i don’t believe it either. i think i’m still in shock.

i’ll do individual breakdowns in order of favourites within the episode and then at the end i’ll put my personal ranking of all six. thank god i don’t have to do a stage breakdown again; if they change it again for next week i will scream.

ateez

a miracle happened. i don’t have to fight any of the staff at kq. i don’t understand either. jongho is so fucking lucky that the rest of the group pulled all that energy out of their asses because if they had been even a single iota less serious about it that stage would have flopped worse than a dead fish. i can’t believe we got this level of camp b movie schlock in the first full stage, and they stuck the landing. incredible.

fine i’ll address the elephant in the room. personally, i don’t think jongho is that good of a vocalist. he’s not bad, and he does have the potential to be a good vocalist, he just doesn’t have the training, and this is the issue with all of ateez. hanya talked about this before and i’ll say it again: he can’t switch to his head voice and he’s destroying his vocal cords by attempting to hit notes in his mid range that he should just jump to head voice for. frankly i’m surprised he got anywhere close to that note in his mid, but his technique is just not there and he’s gonna do some real damage to his voice if he doesn’t take a break and also get a good vocal coach. you can already hear the degradation in sound from their debut stage to now, and that’s in less than three years. ok i’m done talking about vocals that’s hanya’s turf, i’m pretending that that high note doesn’t exist and we’re moving on. also im in love with btob’s reaction it was fucking priceless.

costume

look, i have a one track brain and that brain can only think about seonghwa corset. seonghwa corset? seonghwa corset.

i know it’s not a real corset nor is it properly laced and i know this would never happen in a million years but a kpop mr pearl trend? i would die. just fully expire. there’s no coming back from that for me

yes i have laced boys into proper corsets before and yes it is as hot as you think it is (when it’s not work related, obviously)

ok now that i’ve got that out of my system for the moment, the costumes are actually pretty good. i’m a little obsessed with hongjoong’s coat although I know it’s stupid. fur? always, I love it, you’ll never change my mind it makes everything better. i own a lot of it and i wear it all the time. this is also a pretty good example of how to do a more modern styling within a very specific and recognizable genre.

i don’t hate the backup dancers’ costumes either, even though they would look a lot better in a not-pirate themed hiphop stage. because there is already a modern tint with the boys’ costumes, it’s not that much of a leap to the dancers, and they actually use the dancers and the camera really strategically to not put much focus on them.

the only real standout issue is the blacklight/contortionist moment, which is too gimmicky for me and doesn’t fit the rest of the theme. i do understand the purpose of them: you need a transition point from the upper deck to the more fantastical inner ship area, and blacklight paint is a really easy, cheap, and fast way to get four new costumes instantly. do i think they could have done something better though? yes.

set

this was actually a smart reuse of that pirate ship set. i know i clowned on them in the first stage that they could move on from the pirate gimmick but honestly? i’m glad they didn’t. this was fun as fuck. but also two stages was enough you can move on now.

i love how they actually used the weird double stage function that the false prosc creates for an actual architectural and narrative effect, instead of just sort of operating as though it’s just another place to travel just because you can. we are on the deck of the ship, and then we go inside the ship. it’s simple and effective. you don’t need to do a crazy amount of crossover to establish a dynamic sense of place.

i hate the ateez kingdom logo. i hate the ateez logo in general. get it out of there, at least you could have made something more fun and pirate themed.

would have loved to have seen them return to the hourglass at the end, especially if they got one that was specifically set for 4 minutes. would have been a nice bit of symmetry but i suspect it was struck before the kraken bit.

the kraken bit??? i was not at all expecting that and honestly? dope as hell. that big tentacle is just a custom inflatable santa claus that you see around christmastime and what a brilliant use of such a simple mechanic, especially to have it come through that weird little triangle arch they have upstage. smart way to use the existing architecture.

yes it is a gimmick but here’s why it works rather than just looks tacky like every other gimmick we’ve seen so far: it had a function within the narrative. this is so important. show us there’s a reason it’s there!

lighting

i didn’t love it but they did actually make some smart choices. the outer deck is warmer toned and has some good atmospheric effects, and the inner deck is cold tone and specifically lit with pin lights to imitate the light coming through portholes in an actual ship, which is so smart thank you lighting designer

also a very clear arc with the lighting, blue -> orange -> blue/red -> orange/multiple -> blue

sound

i actually kinda liked this remix? it fit theme and had a very clear dramatic arc. also i like wonderland, so sue me.

staging

WE DID IT, WE FINALLY GOT A CLEAR NARRATIVE FROM AT LEAST ONE GROUP! wonderland was actually a great choice for them because it’s a really good indicator of exactly how hungry they are. i was a bit worried that it would fall flat because it kinda rides on mingi but they actually pulled it off. i have literally no idea where they pulled all that energy from but holy shit you can practically lick the attitude off the screen. i’m also very impressed by the amount of information they managed to fit into that four minute narrative. we had a full conflict/climax/resolution, as well as a really clear understanding of the tenacity and drive of the group, as well as the desire to support one another in achieving their goals. bravo.

ok so like i said in the set section, they used that pirate ship bridge really effectively to create two different but connected spaces. this is a really smart way to make it seem like you have two spaces while having to only build one set. it was also one of the best ways to utilize this dumbass stage so it doesn’t just look like you’re running arbitrarily from area to area because you can.

also levels! levels are so important for staging but also hard to do in this context because you have to be able to move really quickly in and out of full group formation, but I think they did a really good job here.

continued point: the kraken arm worked because it was the conflict they needed to overcome in the narrative, so it had a function within the performance. also related: all the tricking and jumping also served a purpose within the narrative too. it was either used for fighting (yeosang kicking all those dancers on beat) or a demonstration of teamwork (jongho flinging yunho around on the floor). also frankly excellent use of choreographic formation with the backup dancers, each formation had a specific function and was meant to highlight ateez without being overbearing.

not a whole lot of camera choreo, but a fairly good long take at the beginning and the editing wasn’t too obnoxious which I think was more chance than intent, but i’m not gonna look a gift kraken in the beak.

sf9

i actually really liked this stage, and i really like that sf9 has established their colour as effortlessly elegant, which does set them apart from the rest of the groups. this stage was really choreographically complex and they made it seem so easy, so real props to them. however, like with ikon’s stage, there were a lot of good ideas that just weren’t followed through enough for me.

like ateez, song choice and theme were very well intertwined with this one, there was a lot of thought put into this stage. the pun with ‘jealous’ and ‘jilleosseo’ and having a fairytale/magic mirror narrative? fuckin GALAXY BRAINED. incredible. the implication that not only taeyang but the entire group is the evil queen from snow white? chef’s kiss. should have committed harder and put one of them in massive cloak à la king taemin mama 2020. instead it was subtle enough to not try to step on ateez’s schlocky camp toes but still just as serious and i love that. do i wish they pushed it farther though? also yes.

costume

not gonna lie, i had my reservations on the costumes when we saw the previews of them in the waiting room, but the thing about stage costumes is that they always look bad when not on stage. if they look good in the waiting room you’ve done something wrong. and i loved them on stage. big fan of that quilted vest/pseudo stomacher. please can we have a corset trend? y’all already adopted bondage harnesses, c’mon a little corset won’t hurt. also a good example of a modern spin on a recognizable genre.

i wish the backup dancers weren’t in all black but i am fighting single person battle against the entire entertainment industry on that one.

set

extremely simple with a few smart utilizations. had a feeling this might have been a budget thing, as it had a similar kind of vibe with ikon’s stage, but the use of the mirrors was smart and a fun device that served the purpose of the narrative.

working with mirrors on stage is really fucking hard, so kudos to them for giving it a go. for the most part it was pretty effective. especially with the combo of moving mirrors and moving lights AND moving camera, you’re kind of asking to either blind your audience or at least give them a headache. i once saw a production of the magic flute that had a rotating mirror setpiece and i swear i nearly went blind due to the constantly flashing reflections. you have to really be careful with directionality and reflection, especially with the added element of a camera. also you never use real glass mirrors on stage, it is unbelievably bad luck and theatre people are the most superstitious demographic on the fucking planet.

i kinda loved the draped gold dais. i have nothing else to say about it other than fun!

lighting

a lot of this was very weirdly lit and i’m not sure why. the quality on youtube is terrible and cameras already have trouble picking up detail in low light, and throwing a whole bunch of primary red over that (the colour with the longest wavelength and therefore disappears the easiest in the dark. also human eyes are not very good at distinguishing variations in the red spectrum) and the red costumes made it extremely difficult to tell what was happening.

i will give them props for dramatic lighting usage, especially for the two way mirror trick and for using the floor as a primary lighting source at the end, which i think groups should be using more of. how often do you have a lighting source in your floor!!! almost never!! use that opportunity!!

sound

i actually enjoyed this remix too. it was well suited to the dramatic nature of the stage. i think the sound byte at the beginning is ‘mirror mirror on the wall who’s the worthiest of them all’ but it also could be ‘who’s the worst of them all’ and that would be also fitting and kinda funny.

staging

again, not a lot of consideration for camera choreo in a meaningful way, and like the tbz stage I think the clarity in the actual choreo got hampered by the editing. because there was a lot of choreographic precision that went into making this work and it wasn’t totally obvious from the way mnet edited it.

a lot of them are actors so it works that they’re leaning more towards dramatic stages rather than the sort of performance type stages we’ve seen so far. i like this choice for them as it gives them a very obvious colour but they’re almost on the verge of making it look too easy, which does them some injustice.

next to ateez, using that long uninterrupted traverse was my favourite use of this stage. doubles as an easy way to build the atmosphere of a palace corridor/throne room with the rug, and to feed the drama of the piece.

skz

ok i have some…..things to say about this stage. so far i have not been kind to skz which makes me look like i hate them and i don’t, i promise. there were a lot of really interesting things happening in this stage and there some really successful ones, and i liked this a whole lot better than their intro stage, but their overall choreo and thematic dedication is really killing me. i’ll explain.

costume

I don’t hate them but also…….why? I got the good self vs evil self/internal struggle theme but the costumes don’t really have anything interesting to say about that. as far as modern style costuming goes i think they’re on the more interesting end, but they don’t push it far enough. there’s a few western art history visual motifs and honestly? they should have gone whole hog and whited out their faces/hair and made them look like classical sculptures. that would have been hella fun, especially with that little statue and marionette sequence, plus the shadow/leash manipulation.

this time it was actually intentional that the backup dancers were in blacks and i appreciate that.

why on EARTH did they have that ridiculous makeup that didn’t read on stage? theatre makeup and tv makeup are different, you can’t just do a light purple eyeshadow and expect to read under blue and red light. someone needs to bring an actual theatre makeup artist in and get these boys in some real crazy looks. see previous point about full-face white pancake. more extreme makeup please and thank you!

set

i liked the use of internal architecture within this massive weird stage space and they used the corridors quite well. i didn’t really like the mix of baroque scrolling and also graffiti, it wasn’t quite connected for me. this has been a common theme among this round and i think it comes from budget/props pulls rather than anything else.

also there was a distinct feeling of trying to fill the main stage space with bodies as opposed to atmosphere. this can work in some specific cases but the intent wasn’t strong enough for me. it just felt like a lot of people on stage, especially in the end choreo.

lighting

the general lighting was fine but not particularly inspired. the low light in the beginning was actually quite well done, especially combined with the fog, but in my opinion was not dramatic enough. you have a pseudo art history theme happening, pump that contrast and push the chiaroscuro!

ok stay with me, i’m gonna say something extremely controversial that might actually get me cancelled. s*per j*unior’s burn the floor did everything this stage was trying to do on a smaller scale and better. look i know ok, this is a like, a double atom bomb hot take. just forget everything you know about them and watch the performance video. tell me that’s not some of the most interesting choreo you’ve seen in kpop. if you’re going to work with practical light you need to COMMIT. not just steal the solar lanterns out of my mom’s back garden.

i have a lot of opinions on using practical light and alternate light sources in performance because it’s a huge part of my practice and this just....wasn’t interesting enough for me. push it further!

(I will wait for the subs on the full episode because there has to be a reason they chose that specific shape of lamp. if not i gotta ask jyp why he’s raiding my mom’s garden)

sound

god’s menu has such specific imagery associated within the lyrics and choreography that this stage was a bit dissonant for me. especially when seen in conjunction with two stages where the narrative was tied explicitly to the lyrics of the songs. i think maybe if it hadn’t been grouped with these other two stages i would have felt differently. the other groups chose to do songs were a little more abstract and allowed for more visual experimentation, but to go so blatantly against the food metaphor didn’t really work for me and i had a tough time divorcing the association. I found the arrangement to be a little lacking in energy for me towards the end but otherwise it was pretty interesting.

staging

Definitely a better performance overall that the intro stage. almost all of the gimmicks this time had relevance to the theme which i appreciated. the marionette bit and the shadow/mirror were probably the most interesting but i wish they were better lit.

 there was a lot of back and forth in the blocking that made the stage feel repetitive and also aimless? like there wasn’t a very clearly established directionality within the internal space, so it felt like treading over the same ground for no purposeful reason. and again, not a lot of intentional camerawork.

i really liked having the dancers under the big sheet, it fit well enough within the ‘war between internal selves’ theme, but also had a loose tie to the art imagery. again, i really wish they had stuck to a clearer visual theme. it makes them stick out especially in this grouping of stages, but also across all the groups as whole because almost everyone had a clear(ish) visual idea.

holy shit that’s a lot of backup dancers. i don’t really feel like that many were necessary and the sheer number of them took away from the emphasis of the group. with all of the other stages (except for tbz) it was very clear who the centre of attention and emphasis was, and with both skz and tbz they got swallowed by the sheer scale they were trying to operate at. bigger is not always better.

---

this is a tough round to rank because none of these stages are bad, there’s just some that are, in my opinion, more successful than others. all of these stages do very well in specific elements but fall short in others which also makes this ranking difficult. i’m evaluating these based on whether they were successful to me, as i’m pretty sure this ranking will probably not all be popular opinion, but whatever i like to live on the edge.

btob – visuals, vocals, narrative, swords? what more do you want me to say? also i watched the full episode and minhyuk did rehearsal with a real bokken and i think i am in love with him now.

ateez – honestly not sure if i would have ranked this first if that high note hadn’t been a mess. i love camp nonsense and i genuinely think this was a well designed stage. i can’t believe i keep saying that but it’s true.

sf9 – this stage was really solid, just could have been pushed farther. i think it has a really good sense of drama and it’s a pity that sf9’s colour is more subdued, because i think they’re going to be stuck around the 3rd/4th position for the rest of the show.

ikon – ikon is only ranking this high because although i am disappointed in the wasted potential of this stage, they NAILED the camerawork and actually brought in someone to block the steadicam into the choreo. also they’re incredible performers. i say this every time, but their stage presence, although maybe lower energy that they normally would be, is still not to be fucked with.

skz – i think this one is the most ‘meh’ for me. while i liked a lot of the elements here they just didn’t push it far enough and the lack of narrative and general aimless choreo led to me not having any strong feelings yea or nay.

tbz – to be quite honest the lack of costume unity is a big hit for me. all elements of design are equally as important but because of my personal practice and experience i tend to put a lot of weight on good costume and spatial design. i don’t actually like game of thrones also, so I feel mildly offended on behalf of michele clapton, who had did a fucking incredible job and doesn’t deserve to be slandered like this. also the lack of cohesive choreography and the overblown lighting made this difficult to watch, no matter how good i thought the rear projection/stretch fabric dance was.

 any questions or opinions you wanna share hit me up! see you next week!

[mxndoscyarika]

Red Sunsets (Javier Peña x Chinese!reader) | Chapter 9: Agridulce

Author’s note: This was an interesting yet challenging chapter to write! I haven’t written full-on smut since....ever? But I wanted to have this chapter be a major step in the story, and also give you guys some sort of idea as to where in the timeline the series fits. PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS before you start! This is mostly smut, so I’ve kept it all under the keep reading tag. I hope you guys like it!

Summary: Family fights, grudges, and determination. Those three things defined your journey as you navigated through the workings of the DEA. Getting in was hard, and catching Escobar was even harder. You joined Javier Peña and Steve Murphy in the hunt for Escobar, forming bonds and life lessons along the way.

Like my writing? Here’s my masterlist.

Red Sunsets masterlist

Warning(s): gun violence, blood mention, character death (mention), smut (unprotected sex, oral...yeah I think that’s p much it? The overarching categories? This chapter is 3k words and 2.5k words are for the smut lol, buckle up!)

Javi’s apartment was quiet as you set down your things, your badges scattered amongst the open folders on the dining table. Every movement felt empty, numb.

The tip was a fake. Even worse, it was a trap. A deadly trap.

It had seemed real. Javi brought it in sometime in the afternoon, and it seemed like everything was falling into place. You’d done some digging and there was enough evidence to suggest that Escobar would be at the address. So, you brought it to Carrillo, who was more than ready to head in.

The plan had been to take him at night, when the streets were empty and Escobar was less likely to be prepared.  Javi was going to stay behind in case one of the sicarios recognized him from his meeting with the informant. Steve was staying behind as well per the colonel’s request. Out of the trio, only you were going to go anywhere near the action, and even then you were told to wait until the Search Bloc arrived at the building.

It all went to hell. Escobar and his men painted the street red with the Search Bloc’s blood, setting fires and blowing up vehicles. And most hauntingly, he killed Carrillo.

The colonel’s last words to you were through the radio, nearly unintelligible from the gunfire. He’d ordered you to turn around, to go back to the station. He told you it was a trap, and that he would finish the mission himself.

He was wrong. When the last round was shot and Escobar slipped back into the shadows, Carrillo was dead. It was a message to Columbia's government and the DEA: you had your fancy weapons and tricks, but so did he.

You were lucky. Although you were meant to lag behind as backup, you could’ve easily been caught in the ambush.

As if he could sense your thoughts, Javi spoke. “I’m sorry.”

Frowning, you asked, “Why? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Because I was the one who got the tip,” he said, reaching for your hands. They were trembling, so different from his usual steadiness. “And it led them into a death trap. It was going to lead you into a death trap.”

“Hey,” you said softly, holding his face in your hands. Looking him in the eyes, you continued, “You did what you thought was best. It looked real, even to me. None of us could tell that it was a fake.”

Sighing, he closed the distance between you. The feeling of his lips against yours was the realest thing you’d felt the entire night. He slipped  his tongue between the seam of your lips as he deepened the kiss, arms pinning you against him. The heat radiating off of him warmed you to the core. You could tell that he needed it just as much as you, if not more.

“I almost lost you,” he whispered, voice quaking. “If you’d gone there—”

“But I’m here,” you interrupted, reuniting your lips for just a moment. “I’m here. I’m safe. We’re safe.”

“You’re here.” Javi reached for the buttons of your blouse as he kissed you. “I need-I need to feel you, mi amor.”

“Then touch me,” you said, shrugging off your shirt and placing it next to you on the table. “I’m all yours.”

Your pants were the next item of clothing to be discarded, as were your panties and bra. Javi made quick work of them, his touch gentle and well-practiced. Then, his mouth was upon you.

He gently laid you back on the table before kissing his way down your chest, stopping at your breasts to lave at your peaked nipples. His hands caressed your body, leaving trails of heat down your torso. You wrapped your bare legs around his waist to keep him pressed against you. Already, you could feel his growing arousal rubbing against your core.

When he was satisfied with his work on your tits, he continued his journey south. You watched as he knelt down and draped your legs over his shoulders. You could feel the heat of his breath against your skin as he kissed your inner thighs.

The first touch of his tongue against your core had your head falling back on the hard table. It was no secret that women loved him, but now you knew exactly how he earned his reputation. He was attentive and thorough, somehow knowing which spots you liked the most.

You fell apart quickly, hands tangled in Javi’s hair as he savored your sweetness. Pleasure radiated through your body as he slipped his tongue inside you, searching for more. But as much as you loved seeing him kneel for you, you wanted him inside you.

Before you knew it, you were back in the bedroom, straddling Javi’s legs as he undressed. His hands were reaching for his belt when you stopped him.

“Wait. Let me,” you said softly, gently pushing him onto his back. Straddling his hips, you leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Let me take care of you.”

The lamp on his nightstand outlined your body in a soft glow, accentuating everything that he loved about you. Part of him whispered that he was dreaming, that you were a figment of his imagination. What if everything was a dream, and you were actually in a bodybag alongside Carrillo? He watched you closely as you traced your fingertips down his chest.

“I’m real,” you murmured, sliding lower to leave a trail of kisses down his stomach. You felt his breathing hitch as you neared his belt, his large hands resting on your forearms. “This is real, Javi.” You pulled lightly at his belt buckle. “May I…?”

“Please,” he whispered.

You undid his belt and tugged his pants down his legs, noting his lack of underwear when his erection sprung out. He was big; thicker than you’d imagined, and long. It was a miracle that his fitted jeans never bursted at the seams. Javi sat up for a moment to help you take them off, bunching them up and tossing them to the side before lying back down.

Now that he was completely unclothed, you could focus on making him feel good. You looked up at him from between his legs as you ran a finger down his hard length. He was hot to the touch, and his small gasp brought a smile to your face.

A low groan reached your ears when you touched your lips to his cock, sucking gently. You felt him twitch against your mouth as you licked a thick stripe up to his leaking tip. There already was a glistening pool gathering under his cock, another shining pearl gathering at the slit.

You moaned as his salty taste hit your tongue, the head of his cock slipping past your lips. The vibrations made Javi buck his hips up into you, pushing more of his length into your mouth. All you could do was wrap your hand around the remainder and hollow out your cheeks.

Heat pooled between your legs as his large hands came to rest against the back of your head and guide you up and down his cock. A mixture of your saliva and his precum dripped down his shaft from the corners of your mouth, providing the perfect lubrication for your hand to slowly pump him.

You knew Javi was close when he threw his head back against the pillows, his breaths turning more shallow. In the dim lighting, you could see a thin sheen of sweat on his skin, giving him a glow that you never thought you’d see for yourself.

Pulling your mouth off of him, you whispered, “Come on, baby. Come for me.”

Sucking at the base of his cock, you started pumping his full length with your hand. You felt yourself clench around nothing as your love moaned and twitched in your hand, the evidence of your arousal dripping down your inner thighs. But as much as you wanted him inside you, you wanted to take care of him first.

A strangled cry ripped out from Javi as he came, spurts of white painting his stomach and coating your hand. You smiled as you licked up a stray drop and continued pumping him in your fist, the wet sounds of his cum filling the room.

“Wait, wait,” he gasped, grasping at your hand. You obliged, lifting your head so you could see him better. Panting, he looked at you and said, “Let me taste you. Please, hermosa.”

Smirking lightly, you moved up to kiss him deeply, the taste of him still on your tongue. You felt him hum softly at the taste, slipping his tongue inside you. As you shifted to straddle him again, his seed smeared across your lower belly and his slick cock rubbed through your folds, making you gasp.

You moaned as Javi’s hands gripped your hips, sliding you along his thick member. The tip caught against your clit, and for a moment you wondered how he was going to fit inside you. “I thought you were gonna let me be in charge.”

His teeth grazed the sensitive skin of your neck as you keened and ground yourself harder against him. “Tonight isn’t about me, hermosa. It’s about us. Together.”

You kissed him once more before letting him roll you over onto your back. You spread your legs for him as he moved to lay on his stomach, his mouth mere inches from your soaked lips.

The press of his fingers sliding in made your eyes flutter closed, your back arching as Javi curled his digits against your walls. No one had filled you so well with their fingers before, but you supposed Javi was always an exception. He’d only inserted two of his digits, and you were already clamping down on him.

“Please, Javi,” you pleaded, lifting your hips for more friction. His fingers curled deep and hard inside you and his thumb pressed against your clit, but it wasn’t enough to bring you over the edge. Not yet, at least. “Please move.”

“As you wish, hermosa,” he answered, voice like velvet.

Pressure built up slowly as his fingers sped up their ministrations, his thumb tracing circles on your clit. Your breathing grew more shallow as the pads of his fingers rubbed against the sensitive spot inside you, causing more of your slick to seep out between your swollen lips. You sighed as he started kissing the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs, his moustache rubbing against your skin.

You let out a whine as you came around his fingers, shuddering and gripping his hair. Golden pleasure washed over you as he coaxed you through your orgasm, his fingers sliding almost all the way out before plunging back into you.

When he smirked at you and wrapped his lips around your clit, you knew you were done for.

You weren’t sure how long he’d spent tasting you, the minutes blending into a cloud of ecstasy. As soon as you came down from one orgasm, Javi was already bringing you back up. The vibrations from his moans and words of encouragement filled you with warmth as well as pleasure. It was one thing to make the other person feel good; it was another to be pleasured by giving.

“Javi, I want…” You broke off with a whine as his tongue circled your throbbing clit. “I want you inside me. Please, Javi.”

Javi lifted his mouth from you, lips shining with your juices. But even so, his fingers didn’t stop. “How do you want me, mi amor?”

Your chest rose and fell quickly as his fingers dragged you closer to your next release. Nevertheless, you answered breathily, “I want to ride you, Javi.”

“Alright,” he whispered, giving your clit one last suck before pulling out his fingers. The mattress dipped as he laid back down, his hard cock resting against his stomach.

Positioning yourself over him, you let him press the head of his cock into your tight cavern. First you felt pressure, but then he slipped in. Your mouth fell open as he slowly sank into you, stretching your walls to their limit. Even with the help of your previous climaxes, there was some resistance. The pressure in your lower belly grew as he just kept going, sinking deeper and deeper until he was fully seated inside you.

Panting, you looked down at where your bodies connected. He fit perfectly, and every pulse of your cunt around him nearly sent both of you over the edge.

“Are you okay, mi amor?” he rasped, hands massaging the juncture between your thighs and hips.

You swirled your hips playfully, drawing a hiss from the man under you. It seemed that your little interlude hadn’t made him any less sensitive. You leaned in and kissed him once, “I’m okay.”

The first thrust was more of a devastating grind, your hips shifting at just the right angle for him to slide impossibly deeper into you. Whimpers escaped your lips as you clenched uncontrollably around him, feeling every twitch and throb of his member. You knew he must’ve been soaked in a mixture of your juices already, and you hadn’t even come yet.

“Fuck,” Javi breathed, guiding you up until only his tip remained inside you. Then, he brought you back down onto his cock, lifting his hips to meet you halfway. “You feel so good.”

“More,” you moaned, alternating between bouncing and swirling your hips. Sparks of pleasure shot through you every time he brushed past the sensitive spot inside you, bringing you closer and closer to what you both wanted. What you both needed.

As your movements began stuttering, Javi brought his hand down to rub fast circles over your clit, making you tighten around him. Your pearl shined with your nectar as he applied a little more pressure, turning your gasps into whimpers.

“Yes!” you groaned, angling your hips so he could have easier access. The combination of his cock, voice, and rough pad of his finger was too much for you to take. With a cry, your hips quivered around him as you came, gushing around his cock.

Feeling you milking his cock sent Javi over the edge, his mind going blank as he grunted and thrust into you one last time. You let out a whimper as you felt his hot seed fill what little space was left inside you, the thick spurts hitting your cervix.

You came down from your highs together, panting and sticky from exertion. No amount of  imagination could’ve prepared you for him.

You sighed contentedly as Javi’s lips wrapped around your nipple, his hand giving attention to your other breast as he licked and sucked at your sensitive skin. The feeling of his tongue made you whimper and clench around his softening cock.

Javi grunted softly and lifted his head to kiss you deeply. His spent cock slipped out of you gently, resting against his stomach. Already, you missed the fullness of having him inside you.

“Come here, mi amor,” he urged gently, scooting himself forward so he could lay down a little further from the headboard. His hands rested on the backs of your thighs and coaxed you forward until you were kneeling over his face. A shudder ran through your body when he kissed the soft flesh of your inner thighs, lapping up the trails of cum. Of his cum.

“Are you sure?” you asked, gripping the headboard for some stability as his lips moved closer and closer to your pussy. Your core throbbed at the thought of him cleaning you up, of bearing down on his face with his tongue inside you.

“I’m sure,” he answered, letting out a languid moan when he ran the tip of his tongue along your slit. Your lips glistened with cum, creamy white mixing with your clear essence. “Use me, hermosa. I’m all yours.”

Slowly, you  lowered yourself onto his mouth, careful to not cover his nose. You weren’t about to suffocate the love of your life in bed. Rocking your hips slightly, you let him get settled in.

Then, the show began.

You weren’t sure how you could’ve lived without his touch. Every movement was tailored to bring you pleasure, his soft lips grazing your sensitive clit before mouthing your wet folds and coaxing out your sweet cream. Your grip on the headboard tightened as his tongue slipped inside you, searching for more. Whining, you bounced lightly on his tongue as if it were his cock, clenching around what you could.

“Oh fuck,” you sobbed, shuddering as you felt the hot pressure build up again. The hands that gripped your ass cheeks pulled your hips forward, allowing Javi to drive his tongue further into you. His moustache rubbed against your skin, providing some friction on your clit as he devoured you.

“You’re so good,” he groaned, lapping at your swollen clit. His hands held you in place as you approached your orgasm, his fingers pressing hard enough to leave marks.

The wet sound of slurping filled the room as Javi grunted and latched onto your pussy, allowing you to gush into his mouth. You tried to lift away, but his grip kept you within reach of his tongue.

“Fuck,” you cried, your orgasm approaching quickly. Your hips bucked against his mouth as the wave crashed over you, your walls tightening around nothing. The vibrations from Javi against your clit only prolonged your release, your juices smearing over him.

Your legs shook from your release as you moved off of him, revealing his face soaked in your cum. He looked at you with a blissful smile as you laid down next to him, your chest rising and falling. “How did I do?”

Laughing breathily, you replied, “I’m gonna need you to do that every night from now on.”

Licking his lips, he said, “All you have to do is ask.”

You watched as he walked over to the bathroom, admiring his ass. Some would say there wasn’t much to look at, but you would stare at it all day if you could.

Javi returned shortly with a damp cloth, using it to wipe you down. He paid extra attention to the area between your legs, making you gasp and smack lightly at his hand. “Qué travieso.”

He simply laughed and returned to the bathroom before climbing back into bed. Neither of you bothered with clothes as you slid under the covers and snuggled close.

“I love you,” you murmured, pressing your lips to his forehead.

“I love you too,” he replied, pulling you into his arms. It had been a long time since he’d said those words, and part of him wished that it was under better circumstances, but it felt right and real. His eyes burned as you tucked yourself under his chin. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Translations:

“Qué travieso.” Naughty.

Tagging:

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Let me know if you’d like to be added/removed to a taglist!

[lu-undy]

Chapter 91 - SBT

Here it is!

The key jingled on the door handle and Lucien pushed the door. 

"Meow, meow!" 

"Bonjour, mes bébés…!"

[Hello, my babies…!]

He crouched down and dealt scratches and slow blinks to both of the cats before removing his jacket and shoes. He headed for the kitchen but on his way, he saw the tray with the kettle and tea in the cups. 

"Dad est à la maison?"

[Dad is home?]

He asked Perle who slowly blinked before trotting away to the stairs with Soot. They both sat on the first few steps and meowed again and again. 

"Qu'est-ce qu'il y a?"

[What is it?]

They continued meowing until Lucien decided to follow them. They climbed up the stairs with him on their heels and when they arrived at the top, Lucien saw his bedroom door open and he could see Mundy standing up next to the bed. His shoulders were hunched slightly and his overall posture screamed that something was wrong. 

Lucien frowned and went to him. 

"Mundy, mon amour, are you - oh?" As soon as he stepped in the room, Lucien saw Caroline, her jaw dropping. Behind her was the open wardrobe and Mundy was still hiding his face in his hands. "Caroline? My apologies, I did not know you would visit us." Lucien extended his hand for her to shake but she didn't take it. 

The silence in the room weighed a ton. 

"So you live… together, eh?" She asked. 

"Oui, we-" 

She raised her hand and Lucien stopped talking immediately. 

"Was that what you meant when you said you lived together?" She asked and Mundy nodded. "You meant that you… you…"

Mundy nodded again, incapable of looking his mother in the eye, let alone speaking. 

"So all the things you said about when you beat him up and… and the sheila you fancied…? Was there ever a sheila you loved?" She asked and Mundy shook his head. "It was him that you…?" Mundy nodded. 

Lucien watched the conversation like a tennis match, his head swooshing from one to the other. He wanted to hold Mundy, bring him comfort but he couldn't. Not now, not in front of his mother and not in such a crucial moment. 

"You live together because you and him, you…?" Mundy nodded. "That's why you made me swear not to tell your dad?" He nodded again and sniffled. Lucien took a step towards Mundy. 

"Hold on, you." She said and Lucien froze. "Tell me the truth." Her tone was demanding and she looked as though she started to get angry. 

"The truth?" Lucien repeated. 

"Yeah, you heard me." 

"Very well. Let us go back to the living-room and have him sit down first and I shall oblige." 

About a minute later, the three of them were back downstairs. Mundy and his mother sat on the sofa while Lucien gave them some space and took a seat on an armchair.

"Go on then." Caroline insisted. 

"Fine. My name is Lucien de Beauregard. I used to work as a spy for the French government. France had some business to settle with Duchemin and when they finally managed to pinpoint his location, they called me back to deal with him the way that I saw fit."

"Was the story about your fiancée and your son true at all?" 

"Oui, absolutely true. France wanted to sue him and throw him in a prison cell, but I wanted to torture him, make him suffer and maybe give him the ultimate liberation of death, if I had grown an ounce of pity for the man. So I flew to Australia, got a cover job as a singer in the Queen Victoria that Duchemin liked to have dinner in. That is where Mundy saw me, without knowing that it was me." 

"Yeah, he told me about it." 

"Then came the days of rivalry between him and me. We would always end up fighting, physically, over who would kill Duchemin. But at some point, it all flipped, and here comes one of the reasons why."

Perle came trotting and seeing Mundy so distraught she jumped on his lap and stood on her back legs to brush her head on his hands. Mundy finally removed them off his face and hugged her. His breath was still erratic. Soot joined and both purred and meowed softly, trying to bring some strength to the poor Aussie. 

"He knew I had rescued Perle." Lucien went on. "And for quite a long while, he thought that she was the woman I share my life with. It quickly changed when he met her and understood that she was in fact the kitten that I had rescued, or maybe she rescued me. In any case, we started cooperating and we promised each other that we would catch Duchemin together. However, we both lied that day."

Caroline's eyebrows twitched. 

"I saw how kind Mundy was and how innocent and far he was living from Duchemin and his business. He didn't deserve to kill him and perhaps die for that. On the other hand, I, as a spy, was paid for this and was doing it with pleasure to avenge Marie and Jérémy." 

Lucien took a deep breath and sighed. 

"Did you tell her about the masquerade ball?" He asked Mundy and the Aussie nodded. "Good. I guess then that he told you everything until today."

"No." Mundy said, and both Caroline and Lucien's head turned to him. "I didn't tell her what happened after Duchemin died." 

"Ah," Lucien nodded. "Then let me explain this." He cleared his throat. "Whoever killed Duchemin would be the next man to die as his partners in crime would no doubt chase that person down until they were dead and buried. Mundy suggested that he should be the one sacrificing his life and would hide in the desert. But I disagreed. So without telling him, on the day that we blew Duchemin up in that hangar, I made everyone believe that the second corpse they found was mine." 

Caroline's eyebrows jumped. 

"I spent more than a year living like a hermit in a forest, leaving no trace of my living anywhere." 

"Why?" She asked.

"Because… When I started this mission, I was gladly walking to my death. Who cared about me? No one. I am an old man and I had no strings attached to this Earth. I had known love in almost all its forms and if I were to die, so be it." Lucien explained. "But during this mission, not only did I rescue Perle, but I met with a man whose honesty and kindness made me question my own humanity. And suddenly, as easily as a bat of his eyelids, I wanted to live again, to live longer. And if it wasn't to make him happy, then at least, to see him happy, even if I wasn't the cause of it." 

Caroline put a hand on her mouth slowly, to cover her jaw dropping again. 

"I sacrificed my life that day and Mundy buried a coffin that he didn't know was empty. He had buried the spy, the liar, the man with the wealthy tastes in life. Little did he know that he single-handedly gave birth to a better man in me."

"He made me believe he was dead for a year and uh…" Mundy said and sniffled. "I thought I'd go again through ten years of shit." 

"Hold on, when did you… you know…?" Caroline asked, frowning.

"When did we fall for each other?" Lucien asked. "God only knows, I cannot pinpoint the exact day it happened. But I found myself thinking about Mundy not like a partner in a mission, but someone I wanted to protect from himself, from the danger he was throwing himself into."

"And uh…" Mundy added. "I uh… When he sang, he was a completely different man. He was so… sensitive. I thought he was understandin' things that I had never managed to put words on." 

"After more than a year in isolation, during the winter, Mundy came to the forest where I was hiding."

"What? How?" Caroline asked. 

"Maurice asked me to take a break off work. Back then I had Pearl, Soot and the kittens. But I'd lost Lu' and… Life just wasn't the same. So I went there, where the lake Dad used to take me to is."

"And I hid there because it was a place I had visited Mundy in a few times. I had good memories attached to it." Lucien said. "One night, I decided to confront him and tell him the truth. I had seen him there for a few days already and when I saw the van, I was sure that it was him…" Lucien raised lovestruck eyes to Mundy and Caroline's eyes snapped wide. She recognised that gaze, she had seen it during dinner, multiple times, but she never understood it! 

"I fainted when I saw him. He had changed quite a bit. Long hair, beard and moustache, no suits. But it was him." Mundy said before turning to his mother. "After that, Maurice helped us change Lu's name and get his money back. We started working together and instead of living in the van, both of us with the six cats, Lu' took me here, in this house. He made me visit it and I agreed to buy it with him and uh… live together." 

Caroline looked at Mundy and then at Lucien. 

"Hold on…" She blinked repeatedly, trying to process everything. "Why hide for so long?" 

"Because I had a reason to live that I didn't want to harm. I had to make the world believe that I had died for good. Maurice confirmed my death and even he was convinced that I had passed. But the answer to your question is to protect Mundy and have… a chance, to dare try and flip the odds in my favour. Life had taken everything from me but suddenly gave me Perle and Mundy. I won't let her take them away from me." He answered. "Unless they want it." His eyes went to Mundy. 

"Mum…" He took a deep breath. "This is… all the truth, everythin' we just said now and what he'd said at dinner the other day. You know all the story now."

"No." She answered. 

"What? Yeah it is, I swear! I swear there's nothing else, Mum!" 

"Mundy." She called him by his full name and the Aussie lowered his head. "You or Lucien haven't told me the most important part of all of it! You haven't told me any truth!"

"What?!" Mundy's head jerked back up. "Mum! I swear!" His head swooshed to Lucien. "Lu'! Tell her, please!"

Lucien shook his head. 

"You mother is right, Mundy." 

"Wha-?" Mundy's jaw dropped and his eyes welled up. 

"You need to say it, out loud."

"Say what?" Mundy's voice jumped an octave. 

"Say what you feel." He answered calmly, and nodded to give him the strength for it. 

"U-uh… I… Gnh!" Mundy grabbed fistfuls of his own hair and lowered his head. "I can't… I can't… I can't…!" 

He sounded out of breath and Lucien couldn't take it anymore. He moved away from his armchair and knelt on the carpet next to the sofa, by Mundy's feet. He hugged him and whispered in his ear. 

"Mundy, you can do this, mon amour, and whatever happens, I will be where you want me to be, I love you and I will not stop loving you. Be strong, mon amour, be strong for yourself, for your mother, and because you are an honest man." 

Mundy slowly let his hands sink and raised his red, swollen eyes to his mother. 

"Mum… I… I can't live without him. He's always been there, he's always… put me first, put us first. He's… You see a fancy, posh bloke but I swear, he really is more than that, so much more. He saved me and… and…"

Lucien clenched his grip on Mundy's thigh while Caroline frowned harder. 

"I love him, Mum! There! I said it! I bloody love him! I can't live without him, I can't wake up without him and I can't go to sleep without him! He's everything! He's been everythin' when you and Dad were dead! He was the only one who cared about me since then! He…" Mundy burst out sobbing. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I don't like a sheila! I tried Mum, I really did! I don't hate them, but none of them are good to me like Lu' is, none of them help me grow like him! None of them I felt like I wanted to get a house and a job with! I know we won't give you kids, I know you wanted me to give you grandkids and all I'm givin' you is a bloke and bloody cats…! I'm so, so sorry…!" 

Mundy emptied himself through his sobs, his voice cracking at every other word. He sniffled and his breathing was out of any kind of sync. He wrapped his arms around himself and his teeth chattered as he rocked his upper body back and forth. 

Lucien was devastated. His lover's honesty and courage was sawing him in half. He walked away from him and came back a second later with a box of tissues. He knelt down on the carpet again and pulled one out of the box. Caroline snatched it off of his hand and Lucien backed off slightly. By no means did he want to weigh like a burden or even worse, be an obstacle, between her and her son. 

She ripped the tissue in halves and handed him one. Lucien's eyebrows jumped. His eyes went from the bit of tissue to her eyes. She smiled. 

He grinned in return and both sandwiched Mundy in a hug, Caroline on the right, Lucien from the left and they wiped his face. Mundy slowly opened his eyes and realised that both were holding him and he burst out sobbing again. 

"Mum…"

"Sshhh, it's okay, Micky… I-I don't really get it but… But you work well together and, now that I know Lucien better, I understand what kind of guy he is and… I can't really ask you to leave him or anything, can I?"

Mundy cried and Lucien took another tissue and gently wiped his eyes. The Aussie grabbed his hand and hugged it against his chest. 

"But Micky, can I ask you, did you ever have any girlfriends before? Or any other… uh… companion? Is Lucien the first one to-"

"Yeah…" He nodded and his eyes were now burning. "I-I got a few sheilas, here and there, but none of them saw me like a normal guy… It wasn't because I could also like blokes, they didn't know about it, it's just because they thought I was the kind of guy who just roamed the desert and couldn't really build anythin'... They weren't wrong but… But it changed, with Lu' it's all different now, I… I was the one to actually tell him that we should settle down, get jobs and live normally… I wanna live normally…" 

"And you do live normally, sweetie. I'm sorry you were so scared to tell me." Caroline pulled him in a hug and Mundy dived to her chest. "You're my boy, Micky, even if you didn't come out of my belly, you're my baby, I raised you and I love you. I just want you to be happy and… I never saw you as you are now, it's like you're a completely different man!"

"Wh-what d'you mean?" Mundy's breath hitched. 

"The last time we spoke, before the incident at the farm happened, you were a loner! You'd come home from time to time, argue with your dad, and if I don't catch you before you go, you'd be off for days on end…!" She cupped his cheeks and wiped his tears away with her thumbs. "But look at you now…! You're a Dad yourself, you're living with someone who loves you and you love them, you got a job, pay the bills and all…!" 

He looked at her with big, round, kitten eyes. 

"I'm proud of you, Micky."

"Really? You're not mad? You still wanna talk to me? You don't find me disgusting? You don't-"

"What a load of nonsense!" She snapped. "Micky, this is your first meaningful love story and you're telling me that all of this never happened before because of… us?! Your own parents? You're not young anymore and this isn't just a fancy or a whim, is it?" 

Mundy shook his head. 

"How long have you been together?" She asked. 

"I… I don't know but that one time I got him out of his bath, as I was cooking for him, he clung to me and… And Mum, I just… stuff happened inside me, I felt so good. I felt things and stuff and… I-I wanted to hold him back and I remember I uh… I wrapped an arm around him and he… He leaned on me, Mum! In that second I wanted to just drop the spoon I was holding and just hold him with both arms!" 

"You could have." Lucien said with a smile."I would have let you. I thought you just wanted to help me stand." 

"Y-yeah, that was the uh… official reason." Both exchanged a smile. 

"Micky," Mundy turned his head to his mother and she adjusted his hair while Lucien gave him a tissue and he continued to dry his eyes. "I'm very happy for you… I just wish you could have been honest right at the start."

"Couldn't. Not with Dad around."

"I understand, Micky."

"You still won't tell him, right?" 

"I promised and swore. I won't tell your father a thing. But I'd like to know a bit more." 

"Yeah?" 

"Lucien," She turned to the Frenchman. "Tell me more." 

"Gladly, but what about?"

"When you look at Micky…" Caroline brushed her son's face and removed her hand. "What do you see?" 

"I feel like I am home." Lucien answered and smiled sweetly at his lover. He reached for his hand and held it, lacing his fingers between Mundy's. "He is what I could never be and thought no one was. With my past as a spy, I learnt to see everything as a cleverly fabricated lie at best, a trap at worse. But Mundy showed me that honesty, almost naivety, existed. I learnt that it was possible to trust blindly, for the sake of not himself, but some other thing. Caroline, during all that time that we worked together, I never told him my name or even that I was a spy. I never told him how I came to know so much about our target. And yet, he followed me everywhere and trusted me blindly."

"Didn't have much choice, eh." 

"Of course, you did. At any moment you could have confronted me, asked me more about myself, where I came from, what I was. But you never did."

"Wanted to get Duchemin, is all." 

"And you didn't want me to ask you about yourself either." Lucien added and Mundy nodded. 

"But one day, I gave you my name and uh…" 

"And you started talking to me as you did to the singer, not the partner in crime." 

"And I learnt you were more than just a liar in a suit, eh?" 

They both chuckled. 

"Mum…?"

"Yeah?" 

"Is it ok if we uh…" Mundy looked down at his hand, held with Lucien's.

"Of course! I won't lie and tell you that I find it… uh… normal… But I'll get used to it and, y'know, if Lucien was a sheila, you wouldn't even ask to hold his hand, so…"

"Yeah, but I don't wanna weird you out or anythin'... It's a lot to take in so, uh…"

"Micky, it's fine." She tapped his shoulder. "I'm sorry that you came to find someone so late…"

"Yeah, but I'm glad I found him in the end."

"Likewise." Lucien answered.

"Right…" Caroline sighed and stood up. "I'll need to head back home or your Dad's really going to wonder where I've been."

"What will you tell him?" Mundy stood up and walked after his mother to escort her. 

"Bah, I'll tell him you took me to your place to visit and stuff, don't worry, I won't tell him for you and Lucien." 

"Thanks, Mum, really." He bent down and wrapped his arms around her. 

"Aw, thank you for telling me the truth… You've been very brave, that's my Micky, right there…" She pinched his cheek. "I love you, baby." She pulled him down and kissed his cheek. "Lucien, give'im another one!"

"Well, if you insist." Lucien gave Mundy a chaste kiss on the cheek and the Aussie's cheeks turned red instantly. 

"Good, now you give your Lu a kiss too."

"M-Mum…" 

"No, no, no, look at him, he sat on the floor holding your hand, c'mon, be a good boy, I didn't raise you to be ungrateful…!" 

Lucien gave him his cheek and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Come on, Mundy, you don't want to disappoint your mother, non?" 

"Shut up, you…!" The Aussie wrapped his arms around Lucien and pulled him to himself, giving him the longest kiss he ever had on anyone's cheek. "There, both happy?" 

"Good boy!" She tapped his shoulder. "Now, can you drive your old mum back home, please?" 

"Course," Mundy turned to Lucien. "Lu', you'll be alright?" 

"I shall try and contain my distress and longing for you." He gently tapped Mundy's chest and the Aussie smiled with a blush. 

"I shouldn't be too long." 

"I won't hold him for dinner, don't worry." Caroline said. 

"Merci, Caroline." 

"I'll go in the van, gimme the key, Micky." 

"Here. I'll just…"

"It's fine, take your time…!" Caroline saw herself out and shut the door after her, leaving Mundy and Lucien alone. 

"You look terrible." Lucien chuckled. "Come, you need to wash your otherwise beautiful face."

"Pfff…"

Lucien dragged his lover to the bathroom and opened the tap for him before washing his hands and brushing them on Mundy's face. 

"There, this will freshen you up… Come here…" Lucien cupped his lover's face as he pushed himself to the tip of his toes and brushed his thumbs on Mundy's closed eyelids. He smiled and pushed his lips on the tall man. 

Lucien hummed when he felt Mundy's hands lace around his waist and pulled him closer.

“Your mother is right, you have been very brave today.”

“Yeah, well, had to do it one day, eh.”

“You never have to, you made that choice and you went all the way to the end.” Lucien answered as he grabbed a towel and wiped Mundy’s face gently. “I am so proud of you. Your courage is simply rare.”

“Thanks, luv’. I’d better go now. You’ll be alright, yeah?”

“Oui, don’t make your mother wait.”

They exchanged a quick peck on the lips and Mundy headed out. The air was lighter than when he had come home earlier that day and it seemed to him that the world was different. Was it a lingering smell in the air? Was it a slightly more vibrant shade of blue in the sky? He couldn’t tell, but when he hopped in the van, his mother welcomed him with a smile.

“You remember the way home?”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

“Oh, just making sure.” Mundy started the engine and off they went. “Given how pink your cheeks are, the kiss Lucien just gave you might have made you forget…”

The Aussie choked on his saliva and coughed repeatedly. 

“Mum…!”

Caroline laughed and tapped his arm gently. 

[carewyncromwell]

Back with another installment of the POTC AU...and we have entered mermaid (and men) waters, folks. These two lovely creatures are Merman!Kai Williams and Mermaid!Keira Jones, owned by @hphm-brooke, based on their designs here, but with more of the “fishy” look the mermaids have while underwater in Pirates 4! (They look much more like Brooke’s concepts, when they’re above water.) I hope I did your kids justice, cherie! Yes, I know this visual logically doesn’t work at all as neat as it looks, since Carewyn should be drowning if there’s a hole in the ship she can see through: I was stupid and half asleep when I originally drew this, but I went ahead and conjured up an explanation for it for the actual writing section, so indulge me. XD;;

Some LGBT+ headcanons of mine for the HPHM cast are also featured here -- namely, McNully as gay, Skye as lesbian, and Charlie as aroace. (I also personally see Carewyn and Orion as ace/pan and gray-A, respectively. ^.^) Feel free to ignore them if you see these characters differently than I do...goodness knows I understand why plenty of people would want to hook up with Charlie!! He can always be interpreted as demi, gray-A, or just a late bloomer here too, if thou dost prefer. <3

For the previous part of this AU, click here -- for the full POTC AU tag, click here -- otherwise, enjoy! And beware any siren song you may hear...

x~x~x~x

The Revenge was an even more oppressive prison than it was when Carewyn was a child. Charles Cromwell had always been a very controlling, cruel man who only saw someone’s value based on what they could do for him. Even when you were family of his -- or, one could argue, especially if you were -- you were expected to never say “no” to him and to always put his desires over your own. So it was when she and Jacob were under his control way back when, and so it was now that Carewyn was alone.

Interestingly, despite Charles’s clear disdain for Carewyn having become a Commodore of the Navy, he actually seemed very coldly pleased by how she’d grown.

“The Navy may be a pathetic institution,” Charles said very coolly as he strode leisurely in a circle around Carewyn, “but at least fighting in the War toughened you up. You’re strong -- ruthless -- talented in swordplay and willing to do whatever it takes to defeat your enemies. You’ve been taught and trained to kill.”

He stopped right in front of her, his cold almond-shaped blue eyes boring into her as his lips spread into a smile.

“You are far from the weak, bleeding-heart little girl you were before, Carewyn. Before, you could only be useful in persuading other men to join my crew -- now, once we’ve finished at Isle de Muerta...you’ll be able to join your aunts by doing that and helping us with our plunder.”

Carewyn’s eyes, which were the same color and shape as Charles’s, met his gaze head-on with just as much coldness, but with no hint of a smile.

“I have no intention of being anything like Pearl or Claire,” she spat, “least of all by being one of your pawns.”

Pearl made a violent move forward, but Blaise grabbed her arm and gave her a dull warning look.

“Pawns?” repeated Charles. “I’m wounded, child. We are family -- we are blood. I raised you and your brother. I provided for you.”

“After killing both Mum and Dad right in front of us,” Carewyn said very coldly.

Charles feigned an empathetic expression, but it only came across as incredibly condescending.

“Yes -- it was a horrible thing. But your parents thought to abandon the crew, our family...to take you two children away from me, your grandfather, who loves you so dearly. And deserters and traitors must be held accountable -- any good leader knows that. It’s awful that it had to happen...but they left me no choice.”

Carewyn’s eyes flashed with hatred.

“First of all...our parents thought to protect their family -- Jacob and me -- from you. Second, any good leader knows that true loyalty is accrued through respect, not fear. Third, you always have a choice to do what’s right, and you didn’t. Fourth, I will NOT hear you try to tell me that my parents brought their deaths upon themselves when you pulled the trigger. And fifth...”

She took a step forward, aiming to get right up in Charles’s face -- Claire Cromwell grabbed her harshly by the arm and held her back, but Carewyn was strong enough to push herself forward right up into her grandfather’s personal space anyway.

“...you don’t know what love is,” hissed Carewyn venomously.

Charles’s face lost all hint of a smile or warmth, instead becoming oddly mask-like and detached as he considered her. The stillness was far, far more intimidating than his attempts at pleasantry -- it was like he truly felt nothing...like all possibility of persuasion or appealing to his better instincts was hopeless.

“It seems freedom has spoiled you, my child,” he said softly. “I suppose I’d have to blame your brother for being such a bad influence on you...at least while he was still alive.”

Carewyn’s face blanched and her eyes widened. ‘What?’

“Oh?” said Charles, raising his eyebrows in mock concern. “Were you unaware? I thought for sure something would’ve trickled back to you through the Navy. But I suppose if they had told you, you’d have had far less reason to be loyal to them. After all...the pirate who killed him ended up getting a full pardon from the crown, and now works alongside the new Lord Cutler Beckett at the East India Trading Company...a thoroughly prosperous woman, by all accounts.”

Charles’s face again grew much mask-like as he stared down at Carewyn.

“One would never know such a woman could be capable of shooting a man square in the back and then pushing him overboard into the ocean...and just when he’d returned from Port Royal, to find that his sister was gone...”

Carewyn could feel her shoulders quaking. Her eyes had fallen away from Charles and down to the deck a while ago, as she struggled to contain her emotions, but what he said --

It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be. Jacob, dead -- Jacob, having gone to look for her, and not finding her because she’d gone off to War -- Jacob, being murdered right after he tried to come home --

“You’re lying!” snarled Carewyn, but her voice quaked with pain and grief despite her best efforts.

Charles didn’t answer. Clearly he didn’t think he had to. The silence was infinitely worse than if he’d chosen to mock her further -- it forced her to solely focus on the terrible doubt and pain flooding her chest and making it hard for her to breathe.

Charles’s gaze flickered up to Claire still holding Carewyn’s arm.

“Get Carewyn out of that Navy filth and into some proper clothes,” he said almost boredly. “Make sure to pick something that shows off her assets -- she comes from fine breeding, and we want the men of Tortuga to see that first.”

His gaze then rested on Carewyn again, twinkling with a cruel kind of satisfaction, as Claire yanked Carewyn away. Carewyn fought against her grip, but before she could pull out of it, Pearl grabbed her other arm and, with considerably more strength, helped Claire drag her away.

Carewyn was soon forced into a pair of men’s knee breeches so tight that they felt more like form-fitting stockings than trousers; tall black boots; an off-white sailor’s shirt identical to Pearl’s with such an oversized neckline that her chest was largely exposed; and an R-standard dark red coat just small enough that she couldn’t button it around herself to hide her chest better. Pearl had also pointed a pistol at Carewyn’s neck while Claire applied eye-make-up and bright red lipstick. Carewyn normally wouldn’t have minded wearing make-up -- she may have had to dress like a man out of necessity, but she liked women’s fashion a lot. Under the circumstances, though, it was impossible to enjoy it.

Needless to say, Carewyn was in no mood to take orders from Charles or exchange so much as a word with any member of his crew, whether it was her uncle, aunts, cousins, or in-laws. At one point, one night, one of those such cousins -- clearly very amused by how unhappy Carewyn was with her new “look” -- decided to try to force himself into her personal space, and Carewyn was so disgusted that she grabbed his own pistol out of his belt and pointed it right at his head to threaten him to back off. Rather than scare him, though, the cousin merely laughed.

“Go ahead!” he jeered. He clearly thought Carewyn was too much of a “good girl” to do it. “Go ahead and shoot me. Right in the head, come on -- ”

Carewyn pointed the pistol down at his thigh instead and fired.

BANG.

The younger man collapsed in on himself with a cry as his leg collapsed out from under him, the bone clearly blasted open from how close the pistol had been. Carewyn then gave the pistol a light shake to clear the smoke.

“Seems to me that place is closer to where you do most of your thinking than your head,” she said very coldly. She looked around at the rest of the crew, who’d stopped to watch, and added, “Now, all of you, stay away from me -- AHH!”

She suddenly felt a hand seize her around the neck and hoist her up off the ground.

The younger man somehow was back on his feet again, as if he hadn’t been injured at all. Carewyn’s shock only seemed to make him smugger still, even though his smile was oddly humorless.

“You’re so cute, little Winnie,” he said. “Thinking you can hurt somebody who feels nothing but pain already.”

At that very moment, the clouds parted, to reveal an eerie silver-white moon. And it was in that terrible, paralyzing moment that Carewyn saw why everyone said that the crew of the Revenge was cursed.

It seems that the medallion Jacob had stolen from Charles’s office wasn’t just a pirate trinket. It was one of 100 identical pieces from a cursed chest that once belonged to Cortez himself. Anyone who stole but one piece from the chest was cursed trapped between life and death, unable to enjoy any earthly pleasure -- food, drink, or otherwise -- with their true decaying form only revealed under moonlight. Jacob had taken the medallion with the thought that Carewyn could always sell it if they ever got really desperate for money -- Carewyn had kept it because it was one of the only things Jacob had ever been able to give her before he disappeared, and she cursed herself eternally for the sentiment now. Still, she told herself, it also hadn’t seemed safe to try to sell something that so clearly looked like a pirate medallion anyway -- just about anyone would ask where she got it, and that would’ve opened her up to a million more questions. In either case, that medallion Carewyn had was the last piece that Charles Cromwell needed to break the curse -- and thanks to her fame as the newest Commodore in the Navy, one of her portrait miniatures had found its way into Charles’s hands, revealing to him where his granddaughter had vanished to. And now he had both her and the medallion -- in short, everything he’d wanted.

Charles Cromwell decided to punish Carewyn for her little act of defiance by locking her in the brig. It was a very wet and mildew-stained place -- clearly it had been host to more than a few leaks. One hole in Carewyn’s cell in particular even showed clear blue ocean water -- she suspected that the Revenge had been patched up with quite a few spells to keep it from sinking, over the years. She remembered there was a witch on Tortuga that her grandfather sometimes made deals with -- maybe she’d given him something to keep the sea water from rushing in.

Carewyn could’ve easily broken out of the brig, but under the circumstances, she decided it wasn’t worth it. Not only did she not want to show off all her tricks yet, but the cell door would at least serve as a barrier between her and everyone else, for now. And that was what she’d wanted -- to get as far away from them as she could. Jacob would’ve understood. Jacob had always been there as a protective wall between her and the rest of their family, in the past...

The night in that cell was one of the coldest, darkest, and loneliest of Carewyn’s life. Her heart ached at the thought of Jacob -- of Percy, his face white with upset and terror when she told him to retreat -- of Bill and Charlie -- of Jules. She missed them so much, and yet she knew...she would likely never see them again. Charles Cromwell wouldn’t tolerate her insubordination for long, and if she failed to escape -- rather likely, considering that neither he nor the rest of her family could be killed, at this point -- she’d be murdered just like her parents.

...At least then...she’d see Jacob again...

She didn’t know when or how she’d fallen to sleep, but it was in her sleep, when she was most lonely, that Carewyn found herself again in her and Jacob’s tiny, old house in Port Royal, sitting at the side of her own bed, which currently held a young man with a worn brown bandana around his head, a black eye, and bandages around his arms. He looked up at her, his dark eyes rippling like the darkest sea -- and then, he rose from the bed. As he did, he changed, becoming older, with tanner skin and dreadlocks under an emerald green bandana. Orion didn’t say anything in the dream -- instead he held her gaze, drowning her in it as he gently held her hands in his...

When Carewyn awoke, she found her face wet with tears. Wiping her face clean, she sat awake for a while, revisiting Orion in her mind. As bizarre as it sounded -- just like he had many times in the past -- the thought of Orion seemed to bring her a sense of peace and focus she couldn’t quite explain. And it was for that reason that she found herself singing one of the songs she used to sing Orion to sleep, all those years ago...for the thought of him, if not for the man himself.

Abroad, as I was walking one evening in the spring,

I heard a maid in Bedlam who mournfully did sing.

Her chains she rattled on her hands, and thus replied she:

"I love my love because I know my love loves me.

Oh, cruel were his parents who sent my love to sea,

And cruel was the ship that bore my love from me --

Yet I love his parents since they’re his, although they've ruined me...

I love my love because I know my love loves me.” 

As luck would have it, however, her song attracted some attention. For the waters surrounding the dreaded Isle de Muerta contained merfolk -- specifically a mermaid called Keira and a merman called Kai, who hunted as a pair and had heard Carewyn singing through the hole in the ship’s hull.

“Was that you singing?” asked Kai. He seemed the more sociable of the two -- the red-haired mermaid behind him called Keira was staying at a distance.

Carewyn rested a hand beside the hole, trying to peek out at who was speaking. She couldn’t see them very well, but from what little she could see, they didn’t look like how she’d always heard mermaids described. They appeared human enough on top, of course, but she could see scales on their faces and there was no white in their eyes. Kai had one completely brown eye and one completely blue eye, while Keira had completely blue.

“Yes,” said Carewyn.

“I could hear the longing in your voice,” said Kai. “Like a woman in love.”

Carewyn’s face flushed, but she kept as proud of an expression as she could manage.

“...Are you merfolk?”

“Why, yes,” said Kai with a smile. “And you? Are you a pirate? Or perhaps you’re a maid from Bedlam, awaiting her love’s return?”

“Neither. My name is Carewyn...but most people call me Carey Weasley.”

Keira looked at Carewyn through the hole, clearly interested despite her distance.

“You’re different than the other humans on this ship,” she said thoughtfully.

Carewyn scoffed. “I’d certainly hope so. I suppose my grandfather and his crew fear you?”

“Fear, yes,” said Keira in an oddly stiff voice, “but we don’t approach them.”

The memory of her disgusting pirate cousin as a molting skeleton rippled over Carewyn’s mind and she grimaced.

“...I don’t blame you for that. I wouldn’t be here either, if I had a choice.”

Kai raised a curious eyebrow. “You’re a prisoner, then.”

Carewyn sighed and nodded. Kai’s eyes flickered over to Keira before returning to Carewyn.

“...Perhaps we can get you out.”

Carewyn was startled. “What?”

Kai’s lips turned up in a smile. “Come with us...we’ll help you escape.”

It was strange -- Carewyn hadn’t known these two at all, but something in their voices sounded so kind. Despite everything she’d ever heard about sirens, they seemed oddly persuasive...it was like even they were singing beautifully, even while talking...

But...

“No,” she said. “My grandfather and his crew can’t be killed. I’d never be able to defeat them, while they’re like that...and anyone who tried to help me would be killed right along with me.”

Her eyes softened. “Thank you...but I have to stay here.”

Both Kai and Keira looked genuinely startled. Kai seemed to rest on his stomach in mid-air, his tail flopping up over his head as he rested his chin on his fist, his lips spreading in a much fuller, fanged smirk.

“...Well, now,” he said, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone saying ‘no’ to one of our kind in order to protect them before. He shared a glance with Keira. “You truly are different, Carey Weasley.”

Keira exhaled tiredly. “Come on, Kai...let’s go.”

“Coming, coming,” said Kai in amusement, as Keira began to swim off. He added to Carewyn, “Guess we’ll never know if we would’ve been able to tempt you, if we’d met you above water...oh well. Best of luck, little Bedlam maid -- thanks for the new song!”

Kai swam in a circle to follow along after Keira and disappeared into the dark blue depths.

Back on the Artemis, the days of their voyage dragged. Jules had heard all sorts of exciting stories about pirates since she was a child, but now that she was onboard a ship with them, she found that it was far less glamorous than one would think. There was so little to do to pass the time, aside from trimming sails or swabbing decks. Charlie and Bill admitted that was a lot of what sailing on board ships was like in general -- there was plenty of excitement, sure, but only inter-spliced briefly between long stretches of nothing. On top of that, the water on board went sour before long, making it so everyone had to drink rum instead, since it was the only drink that didn’t go bad at sea. The best thing by far for Jules, though, was that there was no dress code -- and so she ditched her fancy dress as quick as she could, traded them in for a pair of men’s breeches, and then belted her chemise around her waist so that it fit more tightly like a shirt. She’d be a little embarrassed walking around in her underwear for a while, but after a while, she concluded it really wasn’t any more revealing than the loose-fitting shirt and men’s breeches Skye was wearing. Bill’s ears turned a very dark red when he first saw Jules out of her dress, though.

Their first real burst of action came when they had to battle a torrential storm that had blown in. The Artemis had been tossed about as if it were a toy in a bathtub, sea water splashing onto the deck with full-bodied waves that could knock a man off their feet. It was likely only thanks to Orion’s bizarre idea to tie everyone securely to the mast with a long piece of rope that served as a life line that no one was thrown overboard. The following day, the storm had fortunately cleared to leave an almost surreal calm. Soon everyone returned to the boring routine of before, mending torn sails and swabbing the deck, as if nothing had even happened.

The helmsman solely followed Orion’s direction of where to go, rather than using a map, so Bill, Jules, and Charlie had assumed he already knew where the Isle de Muerta was. One could therefore imagine how horrified Bill was overhearing McNully talking offhandedly to Orion one afternoon about his compass “not working right for him” -- Jules recalled that it didn’t work at Port Royal either. When the three confronted Orion about it, the Captain responded rather cryptically.

“Lieutenant Weasley said that my compass didn’t point north, Miss Farrier. That doesn’t mean it’s broken.”

Orion turned on his heel and headed back up to the helm. “A bit more to starboard.”

Bill opened his mouth to protest, but McNully climbed down one of the loose ropes enough to pat his shoulder.

“Easy, Mr. Weasley.”

He lowered himself back down into his chair and rolled it around to properly face them.

“The Captain’s compass isn’t like most compasses -- just like Orion himself isn’t like most captains.”

“But you said it wasn’t working right,” Charlie said angrily. “And all he ever seems to look at is that compass. How do we know we’re even heading the right way? Does he even know how to get to Isle de Muerta at all?”

Jules had to admit, she had doubts too. Orion had sounded pretty confident that he’d be able to find Carewyn -- but how could anyone do that, when they didn’t even have a compass that could point north?

The dispute was interrupted, however, when Orion abruptly called out from the helm.

“Put out the lamps!”

The crew immediately tensed up, and bolted around, putting out every lamp. Jules looked around in confusion.

“What are you doing?” she asked. “It’s almost dusk -- we won’t be able to see!”

“The water is darker and colder here,” said Orion solemnly, “and there’s a song on the air. The lamps would only antagonize them further.”

“‘Them?’“ recurred Jules.

“Mermaids, of course,” said Skye impatiently.

“Mermaids?”

“I heard those tales when we were all in the Navy,” said Bill, glancing at Jules a bit uneasily. “Mermaids are attracted to singing and lamplight.”

"Right,” said McNully. “There’s still a 32% chance they might show up even without those, though, so you’d best keep your wits about you.”

Skye nodded. “Mermaids are no joke. They might look beautiful above water, but they don’t look half so pretty under the water when they pull you down to the depths and eat you alive.”

Jules cringed.

“If they’re that dangerous,” she said slowly, “why don’t you do what Odysseus did, to escape the sirens? Just have someone else tie you up really tightly on the mast, and you can’t jump overboard.”

“Yeah!” Charlie piped up. “I reckon Jules, Skye, and I can handle running the ship for a bit on our own -- pretty faces don’t really do much for me.”

McNully laughed. “If being attracted to gorgeous women was the problem, then I’d be a better choice to help than Skye.”

Skye rolled her eyes and scoffed.

“Mermaids don’t just tempt you with sex,” the quartermaster explained. “They’re temptation itself. Everything about them draws you in, makes you open up to them and talk to them...lets them look right through you. They’ll try to tempt you with whatever they think you want most in the world -- and when you give in and get too close...”

She made a knife-like gesture across her throat with her finger.

“There’s only one person on this ship that’s known to have ever said ‘no’ to a mermaid before,” said McNully, and he nodded up at the helm. “And that’s the Captain.”

Bill, Charlie, and Jules all looked up in surprise. Orion had his back to them and was looking out to sea with narrowed, unreadable eyes.

Then, all of a sudden, the crew could just barely make out a eerie, beautiful song, which seemed to float on the wind itself.

“...her chains she rattled in her hands and thus replied she...”

“Stopper your ears!” McNully said urgently. “Quickly!”

The crew hurriedly did as they were told. Orion, however, did not do so. Instead he darted down to the main deck, grabbed one of the lanterns, and set about relighting it.

“Orion, what are you DOING?!” bellowed Skye.

Orion didn’t answer her. McNully rolled hurriedly around the deck as he tried to make sure everyone blocked their ears, but Orion completely ignored him, instead rushing over to the side of the ship with the lit lantern.

The singing was getting louder now.

“Yet I love his parents since they’re his, although they've ruined me... I love my love because I know my love loves me...”

Just as Bill had finished helping Charlie and Jules completely stopper their ears, he caught the sound of a low male voice singing the next line.

“With straw I'll weave a garland, I'll weave it wondrous fine...”

Bill looked up in alarm at Orion. He had a hand cupped over his mouth to magnify his volume as he sang over the ship’s railing.

“With roses, lilies, daisies I'll mix the eglantine...”

“Stop!”

Bill barreled over, grabbing Orion’s shoulder and trying to pull him back away from the edge.

“What are you doing?! Singing and lanterns attract mermaids!”

“That’s the plan,” said Orion, his voice almost frustratingly calm.

Bill saw the water burbling up beside the edge of the ship. His heart clenched with fear.

Orion, however, paid him no mind -- he turned right to the form burbling under the water, his hand beside his mouth again as he continued,

“And I'll present it to my love when he returns from sea... I love my love because I know my love loves me."

Jules quickly grabbed Bill’s arm, pulling him back away from Orion. Bill looked at her anxiously, but she merely reached up to stopper his left ear with some fabric she’d ripped out of her chemise. Orion wasn’t going to explain, so all they could do is get ready.

Within moments, a woman with red hair had appeared out of the water. Her chin and neck were still largely submerged as she blinked up at Orion.

“You know the words,” she said almost shyly.

“Yes,” said Orion. “Where did you hear that song?”

The mermaid blinked slowly. “A maid imprisoned in the brig of a pirate ship.”

Jules had been just about to stopper Bill’s right ear when he straightened up sharply. He turned his head sharply to better listen to the conversation.

"What did the maid look like?” Orion asked.

The mermaid’s eyes flickered over the pirate captain’s face carefully as she eased her head and shoulders out of the water.

“I could not tell for sure. The brig was dark. The hole looking into it was small.”

“Yet you spoke to her?”

“Yes. She was a selfless woman. Very selfless.”

“When did you see her?”

“Very early this morning...before dawn.”

Orion’s dark eyes narrowed. The mermaid reached out to grab onto the edge of the Artemis so as to slide herself out of the water and closer to Orion.

“You know her,” she said.

“Yes,” Orion answered quietly.

The mermaid’s eyes seemed to soften. “...You love her.”

Bill, who had been listening carefully, looked quickly at Orion’s face for some sort of reaction -- but once again his face was remarkably calm, and he didn’t respond.

“I could take you to her,” the mermaid said sweetly. “I know where she is...”

Bill felt his mind drifting slightly, as if he’d suddenly become very sleepy -- her voice sounded almost soothing -- and she knew Carewyn? She could take them to Carewyn?

“No, thank you,” said Orion with the kind of polite finality one would more likely hear at a Christmas function than to a creature that wanted to eat human flesh. “If you saw her this morning, we’ll be caught up with them soon enough. The wind will take us where we need to go, if only we have our sails pointed in the right direction.”

He inclined his head respectfully.

“Best of luck finding your next meal elsewhere.”

The mermaid frowned in immense confusion at him, looking almost put-out.

“You and Carey Weasley are both very strange humans,” she said. Her lips then curled into a faintly wry smile as she added, “She was not tempted by our call either. That should please you.”

And with that, she splashed back into the dark water and disappeared.

Orion blew out the flame on the lamp and turned back around.

“It’s all right now!” he bellowed loud enough that everyone could just barely make out his voice through the stuffing in their ears. “It’s safe!”

Everyone little by little unblocked their ears. Bill turned around to face Orion properly, his brown eyes rippling with amazement and a bit of guilt despite himself, as the pirate captain walked past him.

“You did know what you were doing.”

Orion turned to Bill. The eldest Weasley rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I misjudged you.”

Orion inclined his head slightly to Bill, his lips touched with traces of a smile.

“A common enough thing, for people to do,” he said patiently. “Think nothing of it.”

He strolled back up to the helm, leaving Bill and Jules alone.

Jules turned to Bill. He still had his eyes on Orion’s back.

“Bill...is everything okay?”

Bill glanced at Jules and then back up at Orion, and he swallowed.

The mermaid had said Orion loved Carewyn. He didn’t make any kind of reaction that would prove it was true -- but he didn’t deny it either. And more importantly, back at the church, he’d said he wouldn’t have hurt “either Bill’s or his lady,” when talking about Jules and Carewyn. And immediately after, he spoke of Carewyn’s past, of her history with him...of details even he didn’t know, like her apparently having worn a red ribbon in her hair since she was little...with such a soft voice that it wouldn’t be a stretch to think there was something fond in it, under that detached affect..

Bill hadn’t had a real friend in his life until he’d met Carewyn. They’d connected almost immediately out of their mutual desire to protect and nurture others, and they always seemed to be in sync whenever they had to battle together. Bill had always been a shoulder for others to cry on, but it was Carewyn who had first offered her shoulder to him, while they were fighting the Spanish together. The friendship and caring she’d shown him made her family to him more than her using his name alone ever could have. She was a sister to him -- his best mate -- someone he loved and cherished like few others in the world. And he wanted every happiness for her, just as he knew she did for him...

But what happiness could there be for her, with Orion? He was a pirate. There’d be no way the Navy would pardon him with the East India Trading Company breathing down their necks -- and would Carewyn truly be happy living the life of a pirate, after having been raised on a pirate ship like the Revenge? She’d built up a stable life for herself in the Navy, and Bill knew how much Carewyn loved being able to come back to Port Royal after a long expedition -- to come home, after being at sea. But pirates had no home. There was nothing anchoring a pirate. And no matter what Orion’s feelings were, and how much Bill suspected they might actually be something genuine...it didn’t mean a thing if Carewyn didn’t feel the same way.

“Jules...” he said at last, very quietly, “...is Carey...in love with Amari?”

Jules was startled by the use of her nickname. She glanced from Bill to up at Orion at the helm and back, frowning deeply. 

“...Love, I’m not sure, but...back at the fort, before Captain Amari rescued me...Carey told me that she’d bandaged him up and hidden him from the Navy, when they were young. So when Captain Amari figured out who she was...he let her go. I reckon they probably just made it look like Carey broke free.”

This information startled Bill. His brown eyes brightened in understanding.

“He owed her a life debt,” he said softly.

Jules smiled. “No. I thought the same thing -- that it was gratitude, on Captain Amari’s part. But...”

Her dark eyes softened.

“...Carey said...that he was simply a good man. And I don’t know...but the look in her eyes, as she looked out to sea...I’ve never seen her eyes look like that before.”

She reached out and took Bill’s hand. Bill gave it a squeeze.

“The water temperature has returned to normal,” announced Orion from the helm, emptying the bucket of sea water he’d filled earlier over the side. “Go ahead and relight the lamps -- we should approach Isle de Muerta within the next day or so.”

[hirazuki]

Ooo I'm curious about your hot takes on the Inuyasha reboot after reading your tags 👀

Ahaha, where to start XD Idk if they are hot takes, but here are my thoughts in bullet point form for coherency, I couldn’t figure out how else to organize them. Under a cut, as usual, because it got lengthy... as usual :D

We are 13 episodes in, and I still have no idea wtf is going on or what the series is actually about. And yes, I’m aware that we didn’t know of Naraku’s existence or of the overarching plot until at least episode 16 of that series either and Inuyasha was still very episodic in nature at that early point too, but here’s the thing: Inuyasha did not build upon a pre-existing series. For better or for worse, Yashahime has certain expectations to live up to that the original anime didn’t, by virtue of its being a sequel. Unfair? Maybe, but tough; that’s what happens when you make a sequel. Additionally, despite us not knowing The Main Plot™ of Inuyasha until later, the basic framework for it was laid out clearly by... episode 2? I think? Find and collect the Shikon Jewel shards. Boom, done. Were there distractions or fillers? Sure, but you never got the sense that the characters simply up and forgot about the shards. Even in fillers, the shards often made some kind of appearance. With Yashahime, there’s like three potential storylines going on: 1. The most obvious: most of our main cast from the OG is missing; where are they? Apparently no one in-story cares! :D Inuyasha, who’s that lol. I’m all for a sequel focusing on the new generation with cameos of the old crew; after all, they already had their own series. But this is like... no one cares about them? No one talks about them? And the more characters go about not mentioning them, the stronger their absence is felt. Like, for instance, Kaede knows Moroha is InuKag’s daughter. Moroha grew up on her own, doesn’t know her parents. Kaede doesn’t mention them to Moroha, doesn’t even spare a passing thought about them for the audience’s benefit, Moroha doesn’t ask. Kagome’s family in the present day meet Moroha, recognize her as Kagome’s daughter and... say nothing??? Souta shows Towa Kagome and Inuyasha’s old photos, but doesn’t say a word to Moroha?! Like. It makes no sense. By people not even acknowledging their existence, it makes the fact that they are nowhere to be found even weirder. Also the new gen girls don’t care about their parents or finding out who they were/are... like, okay, it would maybe be in character for one or two of them, but all three don’t give a fuck??? 2. Kirinmaru/the rainbow pearls: Idk how familiar you are with the story, but similar deal with Naraku and the shards here. Kirinmaru is being set up as the villain, still a mysterious figure; our new gen trio is supposed to collect the rainbow pearls that... some of his henchmen have? Or he is after them? Or is that Riku? Unclear. ANYWAY the new gen girls often forget all about the pearls’ existence :D 3. Setsuna’s memories: Setsuna’s dreams have been stolen by the dream butterfly and they need to get them back, because without her dreams she has no memories and is unable to sleep. Cool! Finally a solid, easy-to-follow plot line! Except wait! Towa, who supposedly made it her goal to get Setsuna’s sleep back, forgets all about it! All the time! Like, none of them make an effort to look into this other than being like “oh yeah, know anything about the dream butterfly?” to random folks every now and then. The Inugang back in the day was putting some grad school level research towards their goals, just saying. It just feels like everything’s all wishy-washy and there’s nothing really solid tying the series together. People just remember shit exists when it’s convenient.

.

Character development is MIA. I’m not expecting ground-breaking char dev in 13 episodes (though I do know 12 episode series that were phenomenal in that regard), but like... I do expect the series to focus on building the dynamics between the main three characters. So far, the series is more focused on teasing the audience with glimpses and promises of the OG cast instead. The creators are using nostalgia and bait (esp of a certain pairing) to drive interest in the series, rather than developing the new characters as fully-fledged characters for their own sakes. 

.

Moroha is was the only thing I actually liked about the series. She is a little spitfire and you can somehow instantly see both Inuyasha and Kagome in her, while she also remains very uniquely herself; I have never seen such a successfully developed main pairing child in any series. She featured quite prominently in the first few episodes -- and unlike both her parents, she’s got a great memory and knowledge of lore -- where she balanced funny moments with badass fighting moments and being the token supernatural encyclopedia. It was great! And then... they’ve like... forgotten her. She’s been left behind so many times by the twins. She’s the butt of every joke. She’s become the type of comic relief that’s, well, insulting. More like a buffoon than anything else. And it’s basically all for the sake of giving the floor to Towa :/

.

Setsuna is okay. Not offensive, but unremarkable. She’s got her dad’s personality but like way toned down due to her different growing up circumstances, which is nice, but like... I feel she isn’t given any room to grow or breathe or anything. She’s also basically there as a device to enhance Towa’s development.

.

Towa... oy. I tried to like her, I really did, but she just doesn’t work for me. They set her up having a very Kurosaki Ichigo type deal with beating up bullies and getting into trouble at school and shit -- I’m fine with that. That’s cool. Esp if it’s linked to not feeling like she fits in bc she’s a hanyou? Awesome. Except once she travels back in time to the feudal era it’s all “Oh killing is bad you shouldn’t kill people” and “even though they attacked me I can’t possibly hurt them” and “you need to empathize and talk things out” and “friendship is magic” and shit. It feels like she had a personality transplant, it literally makes no sense. Her design is totally nonsensical too -- out of everyone at her school, she’s the only one dressed in a bright white suit? Do protags not wear the school uniform? Someone should tell Kagome lmao. She’s a pro at hand to hand, and she can absorb demons’ powers and fling them back at them like a personified Tessaiga, and she has a lightsaber sword, and she’s immune to miasma, and -- like... you get it. It’s too much. It’s way too OP for the type of universe that Inuyasha/Yashahime is set in. She’s hanyou for fuck’s sake; remember all the training Inuyasha had to go through? When he couldn’t lift his sword? When his sword attacked him? Sango, Miroku, Kagome, even Sesshomaru all had trouble with their weapons and had to work to become stronger. But Towa? Nope. Towa is straight out of the Yas Queen/Girl Boss manual, so she gets a free pass on everything.

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UGH they are doing the VLD/bad writing thing where things happen (like, BIG THINGS) and none of the characters actually react to them. Or stuff happens and there are no consequences. No one ever talks about anything. It’s wild.

.

Everyone has amnesia!! :D People either don’t know or don’t remember anything or anyone. People who absolutely should know things all of a sudden magically don’t know them. Like, Kohaku -- traveled with an undead priestess, spent years in the company of demons, traveled with Sesshomaru... and yet had NO CLUE that Setsuna is Sesshomaru’s daughter or that she is hanyou, despite her living and working with his team of demon slayers all this time. Like... how, man. How. And Kaede! Don’t get me started. Since when does she perpetuate random demon-boogeyman type stories as facts? Demon children will kill each other in the nest so that only the strongest one will survive, therefore Setsuna must have killed Towa when they were infants. O_O What are they, sharks? Has she been hanging out with Kisame? Wtf?? And she’s speaking about Sess’s kids as though she doesn’t know him or anything about him, when she has had Rin under her roof all these years. It just makes. no. sense.

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Things that happened in the original series are happening again now! Because that’s the best we’ve got, recycled plot elements wooo! No, but really, characters that died or things that were resolved in Inuyasha keep coming back. Why? What was the purpose of bringing back Kinka and Ginka? To have a foil for Towa and Setsuna as twins? Someone please tell Sunrise they can just create new characters. Like, it’s one thing to have call backs to the original or cameos, references, whatever. But like... this is entire (dead) characters and interactions.

.

No one knows how long it’s been since the original series ended. Fans initially heard 20 years from promo material, then “over 15″ and “10 years since” in-series regarding two different events, and now in a future episode summary we’ve gotten 18 years since Hosenki II gave Inuyasha the black pearl. But like, which black pearl? Because the one in Inuyasha’s eye doesn’t exist anymore, but Hosenki II had told Inuyasha that it would take 100 years for him to produce one. So, are we retconning that or where the fuck did it come from? Also, this doesn’t help one bit, it just confuses things even more. Back to the point, though, we have no coherent timeline or real frame of reference whatsoever, and I’m betting it’s in large part to keep the mystery of who is Sesshomaru’s wife going, as it keeps Rin’s age very vague. Everything is vague and mysterious in Yashahime, to the point where no one knows what’s going on, in fandom or in-story even. It’s kinda like how too much plot twist/shock reveal ruins a story, too much mystery does the same. It’s insane that both shippers and antis of that ship can lay equal claim that the “18 years since” announcement works in their favor.

tl;dr: Idk man, Yashahime is a clusterfuck of a series. Even if the mother of Sess’s twins is either of the characters I ship him with, I will still not like the series. There’s no saving this writing. Every episode feels like this:

[nobodyfamousposts]

Felix July - First Kiss (Felix Culpa)

@felixmonth

When Felix had his first kiss, it had been an overall unnoteworthy affair. He would be surprised if anyone remembered.

Which was naturally why every detail of it was imprinted in his memory like cheap and ugly-looking stamp haphazardly placed on a child’s hand.

It had been for a photo shoot. He honestly didn’t even remember what specifically it was for. Something promoting a charity? Or a school? He remembered standing stiffly in this horrendous suit that was itchy, ill-fitting, and all too stiff. He remembered it was hot and much too bright—summer maybe? The air was hot and muggy, which only made the suit worse. And there was that girl—that stupid vapid brat of a girl who would insist on holding his hand no matter how little he did to reciprocate or how much he tried to pull away.

He was all of 9 years old, if he remembered correctly. And he hated it. He hated being there.

They were taking pictures and Felix wanted nothing more than to get it over with and go inside where it was cool and he could finally get some water. But the girl he was partnered with kept wasting time with her obnoxious voice and inability to follow simple directions, making the whole thing last longer than it needed to. No one seemed to notice or even really care. He was hot and dizzy, and looking back he was sure he had probably been suffering some manner of dehydration and heat exhaustion.

Then finally it was the last shot and Felix was relieved. Just one more, he had kept telling himself. Just this one last thing and he could go home and sleep in his room.

He remembered the girl’s loud voice all too close to him again calling out his name and out of reflex pulled his hands to himself to protect them from her grasp. He realized too late that it wasn’t his hands she was aiming for as he felt two sweaty palms grabbing his cheeks and a face mashing against his own in what he was afterwards informed was supposed to be some semblance of a kiss. Her lips were dry and while it may have simply been his childish imagination, even to this day he described them as being like plastic.

He heard a shutter go off. Followed by cheers. Like this complete invasion of his person was something to be happy about.

He was left confused. Dazed. Not out of awe or love but out of dizziness and panic because someone just grabbed him and forced her lips on his own and he wasn’t even coherent enough to know if he was okay with that or not. Nobody had mentioned a kiss in the pictures. Nobody had told him this would happen!

Felix was nine years old and had just been kissed. And all he wanted to do was push the little offender away and hide somewhere.

He remembered looking around in confusion, hoping someone could explain to him. But nobody did. They all just smiled at each other with big grins like this was expected or perhaps a nice surprise that none of them saw any problem with.

Everyone was so proud. “His first kiss!” One commented, not that the individual should have known or that it was anybody’s business in the first place.

They cooed and oohed and ahhed like it was something adorable and sweet and romantic before promptly forgetting about the whole thing and moving on to whatever else was unfortunate enough to catch their fancy.

But for Felix, the gross feeling remained. It lingered, even. That stale plastic feeling that remained on his lips no matter how many times he wiped and rubbed them. No matter what he did, the feeling never went away.

Even when he went home, it was still there. He washed his face a good three times to no effect. And he didn’t understand it. He was nine. No one had spoken to him about it or asked how he felt. And he could only reason that maybe it was because they weren’t supposed to? Or that it was something he was supposed to know and deal with? Maybe this was normal and that was why nobody talked about it?

So for a time, he was convinced that he had an allergy to kissing and made a note to avoid doing it again in the future.

He’d developed a bad habit of biting his lip after that. No matter how many times his parents or agent or photographers insisted he stop—because heaven forbid Felix bruise his precious lips, or worse, get an overbite! It took a good while to break himself of the habit, and that was only because of the constant interference of the adults he was forced to work with to stop him.

It all only furthered his dislike of people.

___________________

An ornate door slammed open as Felix barged into the beautifully but rather out datedly beautiful room.

“Marinette!”

He might have been relieved when he saw her, if it were not for the way she barely responded to him, instead remaining stationary at the window seat and oblivious to the world.

Felix groaned. Because of course the akuma had gotten to her as well.

Of all the stupid things—!

Why? WHY did Rossi have to go and mess up the theater performance?

It shouldn’t have mattered that Marinette had gotten the role of the Princess for the play, and to be fair, the girl hadn’t even wanted the role. But Adrien had been selected as the Prince—which Felix was inclined to believe might have have more to do with either some sort of behind the scenes bribery or that the Director had just been intelligent enough to figure that he would get more attention and notoriety by having the male model as the star. Either due to her own infatuation with the boy or because she knew full well what would likely happen with just about anyone else in her place, Marinette chose to keep the role. The Director was overall rather pleased, and the two seemed to do rather well in their practice together.

But Felix knew neither Bourgeois or Rossi were happy with the decision. He also know that at least one of the two was bound to try something to sabotage the play.

Unfortunately, Felix had put his money on Chloe, given her previous antics during Clara Nightingale’s music video. He hadn’t counted on Rossi pulling a particularly vindictive stunt and damage the set and costumes. Or that she would try to blame Marinette to try to get her in trouble.

They were just lucky the Director hadn’t bought her story, but it did still cause a major setback for the play and the Director WAS still rather upset about the whole thing. And that was all that was needed to create an akuma.

A reality-warping akuma of all things, and one with the power to recreate his “masterpiece” in the real world. So far, he’d managed to change the other students into a legion of knights and summon a dragon—though Felix had been pretty certain there wasn’t supposed to be a dragon in the story. Then of all things, the man had transformed the Bourgeois hotel into a castle.

One with a tower.

And stairs.

WHY did there have to be so many stairs?

How Felix had managed to break into the place was a mystery. WHY he had done so was an even greater one. He was fairly certain he had lost his mind somewhere in the midst of the day’s antics.

Except that wasn’t it and he knew it. No, he knew the real reason he had forced his way here instead of doing the sensible thing and hiding out until Ladybug and Chat Noir could defeat the akuma and return things to normal.

It wasn’t even the stairs—though heaven knew his legs no doubt hated him after trekking up to the top floor. No.

It was that he was only there trying to rescue her because she had taken a hit trying to distract the akuma from him in the first place.

Stupid guilt.

Stupid akuma.

Stupid Rossi, wherever she was. No doubt hiding somewhere safe and watching the madness unfold.

“Marinette!” He hissed, grabbing her arm. It was cold. Was she supposed to be this cold?

Dull blue eyes stared at him blankly.

“Marinette, we have to go!” Quickly. Before the akuma returned.

But she didn’t respond. If anything, she appeared altogether rather unconcerned with his warnings or even the fact that he was there at all. Which was particularly concerning, given the aforementioned AKUMA on the loose.

“My Prince will be coming soon. I must wait here for him.” Her voice was as empty as her eyes.

“Snap out of it!”

But she refused to move. She merely remained sitting in place by the window, either unaware or unconcerned with where she was, the akuma attack, or the current state of things.

That settled it, he realized. She was clearly under the akuma’s control. It made sense. Knowing Marinette, if she had been herself, she no doubt would have found a way out of here herself by now.

For a moment, Felix questioned if he shouldn’t simply try to force her to leave with him, but she was clearly under the Director’s control and fully intent on obeying whatever commands he had given her. He could attempt to carry her out, but even assuming she didn’t fight him, she would be little more than dead weight as she was—and that wasn’t including the extra weight from the dress and accessories she was now adorned with.

He would almost say she looked pretty. Almost. The outfit was clearly based on her design for the original dress, but when the akuma managed to grab her, it had altered the entire thing—making it more extravagant than it needed to be and with extra accessories. The mask seemed to fit her face perfectly, mostly pink but with extensive silver engravings. In turn, the headpiece she now wore was also made of silver and inlaid with pearls. The dress was pink and silver, and also adorned with a multitude of pearls and silver leaf engravings.

It was beautiful. But he couldn’t help but feel it had looked better when it had been her own.

He shook his head. Now wasn’t the time for this. He had to get Marinette out of here.

Felix glanced around the room, but there appeared to be nothing of use. Part of him idly noted that this was likely once Chloe’s room. He might have found it humorous if he wasn’t already stressed and focused on greater concerns.

He had to get Marinette out of there.

But how…?

He started running multiple plans through his head. Questioning the logistics and tactics of whether to try to simply pull her or force himself to carry her out when a certain…other thought came to mind.

It was a play, after all. One based on a fairy tale, if he recalled.

Now, Felix was well versed in books and tales enough to know how the fairy tales of old truly tended to end. But most people weren’t generally as aware—usually caught up in the Disney stories and happy endings. The Director, for all that the man took his art quite seriously, certainly appeared to be one of them.

And how did most people think fairy tales ended.

He groaned at the realization.

Why had Adrien had to go and disappear on him?

“Marinette, please!”

She remained unmoved.

Felix wanted to throw something.

Where was that blasted boy when he was needed? He had told the other blond they needed to get to her together, but the next thing he knew, he was alone and Adrien had just gone and run off somewhere!

At least Chat Noir had arrived to help, for all the good that did. But Ladybug was nowhere to be found. And while Chat could take down the akuma, he could do nothing to purify it or undo the damage caused if Ladybug wasn’t there.

They needed Ladybug. And if she was already taken down, then he needed another way to save Marinette.

‘True Love’s Kiss breaks any curse!’ He remembered the way his mother had intoned the words when she used to read to him. The way Rose had so naively insisted the same and how the Director had smiled in agreement.

It’s a reality-altering akuma. And if it can make reality work how it wants…

Felix groaned again in frustration.

This was why he had tried to bring Adrien here! Any fool could have seen how much Marinette adored him. And if this was supposed to follow the story, she needed to be kissed by her true love!

It was Adrien! It had to be!

And the idiot should have KNOWN that!

How could he remain unaware as to how the girl felt? Was he really that oblivious? Or was he simply trying to ignore it out of some perceived politeness?

Felix didn’t know. He really didn’t care. He just…

He just wanted Marinette to wake up.

A kiss to break a spell, right?

He caught himself biting his lip.

“I’m sorry.”

She merely continued to stare at him.

No, not even at him but through him.

And somehow…for all that he hated touch and especially kissing…

He hated that look on her more.

That damn blank look. Like a doll. Expressionless and empty…

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was always vibrant and full of life.

It was…one of the many things he admired about her.

He reached out slowly. Her eyes didn’t even seem to register his movements.

She should never look like this.

He took her face in his hands—her skin cold to the touch.

She should never feel like this.

He lowered his face to hers, eyes closed tightly and apologies screaming in his head.

Contact.

Her lips were soft. Smooth.

Warm.

He hadn’t realized how warm she could be before.

He pulled back, barely grazing her lips with his own as he waited.

There was a shuddering breath that he was sure wasn’t his. A gasp. The feeling of air on his skin.

And blue eyes. Shining and lovely.

“Felix?”

[normal-thoughts-official]

more malec livewatch, everyone! i decided to start making the posts separately instead of keeping reblogging the same one over and over because i don’t want to drive everyone crazy with that gigantic fucking post. you can read the first ones here and i’ll keep updating the posts to lead to the next ones i guess. also im tagging it malec livewatch for those who want to avoid this nonsense

so let’s brave pre-wedding episode 12 i guess

oh boy.... we’re gonna do it... we’re gonna experience the Maximum Cringe

the special effects are so BAD odaijsdoaj when he summons the wine into Alec’s hand it’s just...... god

“we never finished our conversation” i mean you were the one who finished it magnus so wtf are you going on about

“it’s about family, tradition, honor” yeah we get it zuko boi duoahsiudhdiusa

really tho like he’s so clearly just.... reciting it. taking some shit out off the top of his head about how it’s the right thing and it’s sad tbh

he clearly kinda already has a script too? like “you and I understand marriage very differently” he says it right off the bat, he’s been thinking it over and hghgghgh

magnus goes near alec and alec swallows immediately and magnus ain’t even making a move to touch him yet. just diuahsdah it’s so obvious how hard he’s trying to hold back here

“you’re confusing me” is like the only thing he says the whole scene that sounds genuine

he’s paying so much attention to magnus’ dumb little speech about what love feels like too like. he’s trying to hold back but he’s very clearly pulled in, and i don’t even think it’s by magnus specifically (i mean obviously cuz have you seen him) but because he... kind of wants to hear it, kind of wants magnus to give him some golden argument that will make his whole resolution shatter. except he doesn’t because he doesn’t know what he’ll do then, but he’s still hoping for something and it’s sad

like how magnus clearly pauses like he’s waiting for alec’s reaction too, like. alec makes to leave and magnus doesn’t go after him, but he speaks, and alec stops. only when alec stops he gets closer. only when alec looks at him, clearly waiting to hear more, does he begin to talk again. i dig that even if most of this scene is kinda ugh to me

i hate how he uses his magic tho like what’s the point?? like yes i know that magic “can’t create feelings” but still dauhdsa it kinds feels like he’s cheating or trying to manipulate alec or something and i’m.. not into how the whole thing is done

oof hate how alec says “this is all just a game to you, isn’t it?” like bitch you know damn well it’s not like he’s putting himself at risk and showing you so much vulnerability and i hate how he goes for the whole “oh magnus doesn’t care about anything he’s just a seductive lothario” narrative in here lowkey. like i know he’s just trying to distance himself and he doesn’t fully believe it but... aaaaa i hate it

and he’s so HURT by alec’s words too like the rejection doesn’t hurt him as much as hearing alec say that he just flirts and it means nothing to him does. he’s trying so fucking hard to be open and honest and taking such a RISK (psychological, emotional, even physical) and alec is just throwing all of that bullshit persona he’s actively trying not to hide behind in his face, belittling all his efforts and feelings, and aaa

like again i don’t really blame alec but he truly is so hurt

still wonder what alec was about to say when he turned around to talk to him and magnus wasn’t there anymore tbh like. probably something else to try and distance himself so it’s probably good magnus left and isn’t there to hear it and it kind of forces alec to really think it over to himself instead of trying to argue but...... i do wonder what he was going to say diahsiduahdisah

magnus doesn’t even answer the whole “this means nothing to you” veiled accusation which.... also hurts like idk if he’s trying to avoid a fight or derailing like alec clearly is trying to, or if he just is too tired to have this argument, or if he just doesn’t want to open up this much, but either way he doesn’t acknowledge it except for his hurt look and oof

no one cares about jace and clary talking or whatever’s happening here next

i had never noticed the way magnus winks at clary when he says “oh, it’s happy hour somewhere, my dear” daishdaiuh it’s kinda cute tbh

hodge is so uncomfortable like the way he talks to magnus and gets too close to him... in a way that he doesn’t with anyone else either like he’s clearly just lowkey despising him/getting into his space and magnus notices too and it gives me the heebie jeebies

diuhaiudsahduaishdai magnus’ IMMEDIATE reaction of “why is ragnor fell there, he’s not more powerful than me” asohdaiudha we stan bickering bffs i truly love them so much

“he’s older than you” “certainly not wiser” daiohsahda

i think he might also be lowkey trying to protect ragnor and take the clave’s attention away from him now that i think about it but still i love their bickering

nah that’s cancelled he immediately rats him out on having been jocelyn’s profesor lmaoo

“that’s why he hasn’t been responding to my fire messages” daoihdsaiohads someone needs to lick their wounds

he’s just like “oh ragnor is hiding in his specific safehouse outside of london” like daoiusduaihdasuda love how he just knows that off the top of his head when ragnor clearly didn’t actually tell him about it since he just fucked off and hasn’t been responding

“didn’t know you were here” “that was the point” doaiuhdasiouhdaiuhdas

like i know he’s talking about the marriage but also.... just mood in general tbh

again with the eye flickering. hes looking at magnus, no hes not, yeah he is, haha SIKE, oh there it is again, nope it’s gone..... kinda funny cuz like i know that alec’s eyes flicker a lot in general but afterwards when they are together every time he looks at magnus it’s just so pointed and intense and focused on him so the contrast of watching the s1 scenes and realizing how little his glances at magnus always lasted is... interesting and heartbreaking. like obviously he doesn’t want to be looking at any man for too long, doesn’t want to take that risk, keeps hyper aware of his attraction at all times, but he still can’t help the glances and then when he can look he just does it so unapologetically and intensely and you can tell that it’s just. intimate to him (to both of them really) right then, and wow

i know we talk a lot about alec’s Big Hands but magnus’ hands are so nice too in like a totally different way... anytime he holds anything it just looks like he’s treating it like it’s precious, it’s so delicate and careful and his hands are smooth and pretty and wow i love him so fucking much

wow can’t believe nothing heartbreaking at all happens when they go to ragnor’s house and that ragnor just winks at magnus like “haha yes i am ‘dead’” and magnus is like “yes, this is a lie and a ruse and also a plan. i am perfectly aware that ragnor is not dead at all”

ragnor says “my dear friend, i will always be here for you” with so much honesty and love and ugh i love them like they’re always little bitches to each other but they still have the room to be perfectly loving and honest with each other and i stan

ragnor looks at magnus with so much fucking hurt when magnus says “i prayed she would love me the same” like you can tell it destroys him to even remember it or think about it and aaa

“he was always so much better looking than you” and the way magnus purses his lips in what is clearly a smile like he just knows it’s the teasing and he loves ragnor and their dynamic and i just daouhdsauida also he’s so beautiful boy i die

the way ragnor says “someday, someone will come and will tear down those walls you put around you and around your heart” and magnus looks at him with so much. fucking PAIN in his eyes because someone did but it got nowhere and in the end alec just kind of acknowledged his walls again and went back to pretending that it never happened and that magnus didn’t progress or open up to it at all, that magnus was just lying, that it’s just a game and dauhdaiudha god he’s so HURT

again i owe harry shum jr my entire life like he might be seriously the best actor i’ve ever seen in any show, he’s so damn expressive and talented in every little motion he’s truly a pearl in the desert of shit that is this show

“even in death, you give the best advice” ugh love how this really cements that magnus is used to opening up to ragnor and even with their bickering there’s so much room for them to be emotionally honest like we stan

anyway sure wish this had any emotional continuity whatsoever but at least the cringefest is over. onto an actual good scene fucking finally

love every little detail about this scene as yall probably already know so i’ll try not to point every single one of them out yet again but who knows if i’ll succeed. i bet that i won’t tbh

love the contrast between alec looking so tense when lydia comes down the aisle and she’s like all smiles and shit

she’s before him and he can barely look at her like his eyes flicker a bit between her and the bouquet and he settles on the bouquet this whole thing is so... wrong so clearly, like i could show it to someone who doesn’t know shit about sh and they would be able to tell that nothing fits

even alec’s clothes are weird, like idk i don’t understand fashion but his look looks so disjointed, like the blazer doesn’t really match the pants, the bowtie looks weird and doesn’t match the buttons, and shit and nothing about him looks like it’s in the right place. and everyone else (except maybe izzy who also looks miserable lmao) looks like a perfect picture and he’s just.... idk there’s this aura of wrongness around him that’s subtle but really well done in the terms of costume and shit. the costume department really went off in this whole scene honestly like we stan. possibly the only ones other than the actors who knew what the fuck they were doing lmao

when lydia smiles at izzy and izzy barely moves up the corner of one of her lips dajdasnjdan she looks even more miserable than alec does and god i love the lightwood siblings so much like i truly do. she’s supporting him because she’s decided she’s not going to keep pushing him when it only leads to him not trusting her but she’s all broken that he’s broken, and she was willing to take his place and throw her life away even when that’s everything she’s always tried to avoid, just so he wouldn’t have to do this, and aaaaa

who cares about jace and clary looking at each other @directing team like seriously get over this

he turns in the direction of the silent brother in an almost kind of jerking motion like he completely forgot about where he was supposed to go or something, like again he’s just... not in it

they are holding hands in the WEIRDEST possible way too like there’s so much distance between them it’s almost funny ldaojsja

he tries to smile at lydia when she’s about to put the rune on his arm like he knows she knows that he’s hating this and he’s just bearing it and trying to not make her uncomfortable? like doajdsaoj

the way that magnus INTERRUPTS not just the wedding but also the chorus, you could tell there was a crescendo coming even if you’ve never heard the song, but magnus pushes the doors open and suddenly it stops and there’s this little bit and then the “tututututu” of tension as he comes into view and his steps perfectly match the three little beats that were already there before, but sound so much louder and more prominent like a heartbeat, like before they were muffled and now they’re real??? the poetic cinema bro

ill just never get over the way they used song here it sounds like an AMV like the song isn’t just giving the vibe, they are telling the story THROUGH the song and the whole scene is basically a coreography, and the song is the narrative, and holy shit i love it so much could you imagine if they had used this amount of thought and genius and clever storytelling the whole show?? i’d shit myself

ugh the DRAMA of magnus’ look again i KNOW i’ve been over this again and again and again and again and again and again but i just. i love how they used his makeup & costume to accentuate magnus’ 1- face, 2- eyes, 3- jaw, and 4- adam’s apple. the whole focus is on his face and eyes (which again so expressive we stan harry shum jr in this house), the fact that his eyes are his WARLOCK MARK (yeah they’re not out but like we’re still drawing attention to the part of magnus he tries to hide the most, and the part of him that marks what makes him disdainful to shadowhunters), the fact that his jaw and adam’s apple are so prominent. his whole face looks really sharp and masculine you know?? like the whole focus is on everything about him that’s supposed to be “wrong” and make malec “wrong” but he’s never looked more beautiful (IT’S SUCH AN UNDERRATED LOOK) and they didn’t sacrifice his gnc-ness for it either, on the contrary, they gave his hair the hot pink streak which. INSPIRED WE STAN, and the makeup is very clear (again esp around his eyes) which of course only adds to it because he’s not just a man, he’s a gnc man and that makes it “worse”, but also like, i like how they accentuated his masculinity in alec’s coming out scene, without sacrificing his identity and gender non conformness. again the costume department is the only one who genuinely knew what they were doing 100% of the time i hope they all got big fucking checks

alec just blinks and focuses on him and it’s the first time it looks like he’s really looking at something and i just wow

izzy is so happy to see magnus there :) she loves her brother so much :)

magnus holding up two fingers to get people to shut up... the way he snarls “maryse, this is between me and your son” with so much certainty and like no room for bullshit he’s so good at making shadowhunters too speechless to stop him and honestly im such a whore tbh if he did this to me id just nut on the spot. shut me up daddy. fuck who said that

like how they included the “i’ll leave if he asks me to” and how he really doesn’t say anything, he’s just standing there, like they made sure to make this scene respectful and i was kind of dreading it the first time because i’d HATE it if magnus had outed him or made this whole drama out of it but he didn’t and i like that so so much

“i thought we were doing the right thing, but... this isn’t it” always gets me and i can’t even put my finger on why. it just does like again this is not really about magnus or their relationship, it’s about how he feels about the whole thing, everything that he’s giving up and he barely knows what for anymore, and i justjfianfajf

again the BRILLIANCE of the song usage the way that he’s talking to lydia and the beat is so damn loud and overwhelming and then as soon as he turns to magnus everything just drowns out and there is one (1) piano note and it’s just him and magnus and it’s like everything silences??? he’s just so damn focused and it’s not the nervousness and loudness of everyone else and their whole audience (they don’t even show the audience anymore after alec turns to him for real and before the actual kiss i don’t think) and there’s just that sharp focus and certainty because alec’s made up his mind and there’s no sound anymore like mwaaahhh poetic cinEMA

and it’s just that moment of clarity as they both look at each other and the song begins again with the higher tempo again, but it feels more like, a march? than that overwhelming noise. and of course there’s the singing and it feels like everything has purpose and is just laser focused and it’s still intense but in a completely opposite way, not lost but found and wow im such a whORE for this scene it’s unbelievable

like how alec takes the first step towards magnus after he’s down the stairs exactly as the song goes “want” like mwaahhhhh brilliance amazing talented showstopping spectacular never been done before completely unique,

his “enough” is dajksdfahidasdhadusahuash again im a simple sub id nut

i was right they only really show the audience again after the kiss. except for maryse but even then it’s so quick, we see her going to alec and after alec says “enough” she literally doesn’t show anymore it’s like she’s not even there, she just disappears it’s so sexy we stan??? like again alec’s made up his mind and nothing else is there to stop him wow love that for him could you imagine thinking this man is shy and insecure? can’t relate

THEY ARE SKIGGNISNGG

FOREVER A WHORE FOR THE WAY MAGNUS CHASES AFTER HIM HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THE WAY HE’S SO LOST IN THE KISS, IN THE ELATION, AND HE JUST CAN’T HELP GOING FOR MORE BEFORE HE CAN STOP HIMSELF AND KEEP UP WITH HIS TIGHT COMPOSTURE (because magnus had barely moved once alec had seen him, he just stood there and waited like he was waiting for his cue, he was holding himself perfectly steadily and just had so many walls) LIKE HE JUST CAN’T HELP BUT WANT?? AND GO FOR MORE?? AND THEN HE REALIZES ALEC IS PULLING AWAY AND HE LOOKS AT HIM FOR A SECOND (and his eyes look so DIFFERENT, not like there’s a wall there, he looks relieved and happy and even kind of dazed and i just wow the difference is SO clear) AND ALEC LOOKS AT HIM AND HE TAKES JUST A FRACTION OF A SECOND BEFORE HE LEANS IN AGAIN, AND IT’S THE FIRST TIME THAT MAGNUS HAS ASKED FOR MORE AND ALEC’S GIVEN IT, BECAUSE ALEC HAS BEEN GIVING HIM SOME OPENINGS BUT EVERY TIME MAGNUS WANTED MORE HE TURNED AWAY, BUT THIS TIME HE FUCKING GIVES MAGNUS WHAT HE’S SILENTLY ASKING FOR, HE’S CHOOSING HIM FULLY AND NOT JUST ENOUGH FOR THEM TO BE ABLE TO BE TOGETHER, HE’S CHOOSING TO GO ALL IN AND KISS MAGNUS UNTIL HE’S SATISFIED AND HOLY SHIT THE POETIC CINEMA!! THE TALENT!!! THE BRILLIANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SHADOWHUNTERS CREW FOR PUTTING UP YOUR FIVE TOTAL BRAINCELLS TOGETHER TO MAKE THIS FANTASTIC THING HAPPEN HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS SCENE IS EVERYTHING TO ME 

a bitch needs to lie down i think that’s all for today

next part

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Kissing Dead Pearls (Part 10)

He could never find her, no matter how hard he tried. No one could find her and no one ever did. Not until she wanted them too.

“It’s just a dumb game Azula!” Zuko would always declared. “Who cares if you always win.” He did and she knew it. They all cared and they were all jealous.

She always had the best hiding spots and she owed it partially to her teeny build; she could scramble into places that none of her friends, save for Toph, could fit in. To some extent, she still can, but not as many as she could as a child.

That day she had tucked herself into a particularly tight wedge nestled in the cove. During their play, nothing was off limits, every crevice and orifice was fair game. Though they mostly avoided the cave in the cove because it was too dark and too wet.

Azula had always been more adventurous, more darling, and, in childhood, more reckless and less careful. She shambled up a large rock, it was slick and wet and she was almost certain that she would fall and give away her hiding spot with a large splash. Luck was on her side, she managed to cling on and reach the top. From there she climbed her way into the wedge and waited, listening to the waves lapping against the sandstone and the steady drip drop of the moisture leaking from the cave ceiling. She could feel slimy seaweed sloughing down her arm and she stuck her tongue out in disgust. But she would endure it for the sake of her victory streak.

A few minutes turn into ten and then ten into fifteen before she heard Sokka and Zuko declare they gave up. Their voices were distant. It took another five before Katara made her declaration.

Azula’s smugness turned to pure dread in an instant. It is the instant that she tried to pull herself out of the wedge. It was an all encompassing terror when she found that the hole in the wall was too small for even she afterall. She remembers how her stomach had sank. How another ten minutes went by and then another. A feeling of suffocation and helplessness as she tried fruitlessly to back out of the crevice. An effort that only became more worthless as the panic had set in more.

Soon it had been an hour and then two before it finally occurred to her that she should cry or, at least, scream. She intended to only scream once, but that had opened the floodgates to all out bawling.

That was all she had needed to do. “I found you!” Sokka declared smugly. She had never been more relieved to lose a game.

Hakoda’s voice was the next that she’d heard, a soothing and soft one instructing her to stop crying for a moment and to relax her body as much as possible and then to suck in her belly and duck her head as close to the floor as she could.

Strong hands wrapped around her ankles and pulled. She’d heard Ursa whimpering softly. She was given a few bone jerking tugs before her body had come free. Her knees were skinned and her cheeks and elbows scrapped. Ozai had passed her to Ursa who’d held her nearly as tightly as the cave had and caressed her hair.

She hadn’t gotten in trouble that night, they were too relieved for that, but she had earned a reputation for constant childhood accidents and mishaps.

.oOo.

She doesn’t want to go home, she wants to go anywhere but home. But the longer she delays, the madder he is going to get. Katara knows this. She usually doesn’t like to be touched, but this time she lets Katara rub her back while she sits with her elbows digging into her thighs and her face buried in her hands.

Hakoda is just as aware as Katara. “If you need to stay here until he sobers up, you can take Sokka’s bed. I know that he won’t mind.”

Azula nods despite her apprehension. She hasn’t been in his room since he’d disappeared. She isn’t sure that she can take it, not tonight. Not when her mental state is already in the beginning stages of immense turmoil.

“You don’t mind the sofa, do you, Zuko?” The man asks.

“Couch is fine.” She hears his reply from down the hall.

She puts her hand on the doorknob but can’t bring herself to turn it. She gives a slight jolt at the sound of footsteps. “It was hard for me at first, too.” Katara confesses. “But it isn’t so bad after that.”

Azula takes a deep breath and twists the knob. The door falls open and she is greeted by a familiar ambiance. His walls are painted deep blue, he hasn’t bothered to take down the ocean life wall stickers that he’d put up as a kid. In fact he still has a few stuffed sharks and jellyfish strewn about in the corner. But he has also acquired several surfboards to hang on the wall--strictly decorative. And from the ceiling hang a collection of shark teeth and a few fishbones.

The floor has as much clutter as she remembers; a stack of knocked over reggaeton and reggae albums lies at the foot of his bed near a collection of sport-themed DVD’s. Clothes, mostly socks and aloha shirts, are cast randomly about the floor and drape over a chair by a desk.

The desk teems with other trinkets; a few bobble heads, 3D photo crystals depicting jelly fish, some unopened snack bars, and a few poorly done drawings along with pencils among other things. She then finds the pictures. There is one of just he and Katara holding fishing poles. Next to that is one of their family at the grand opening of their food joint. And next to that… Her stomach flutters and her eyes prickle. He has his arm around her, flashing the camera a goofy grin. He wears the most ridiculous pineapple shaped sunglasses and a straw hat. She remembers him forcing her to wear an even more ridiculous clownfish hat and a cheap rainbow lei.

Her tear finally escapes when she sees the next photo. She doesn’t remember it having been taken. Which is probably because she is asleep in the photo. Asleep and clutching a stuffed stingray. The same one she’d had since she was a child and her parents took she and Zuko to the aquarium. She is certain that Zuko still has his stuffed turtle.

She wishes that Sokka were home, if only to kick his ass for sneaking that picture. “He really liked that one.” Katara nods to that picture.

“Yeah…” she trails off quietly. “I’m sure he did.”

“I’ll leave you alone?”

Azula nods.

“I’ll send Zuko to get you when dinner is ready.”

She nods once more.

She waits until Katara leaves to make her way to Sokka’s bed. Her lower lip trembles as she climbs into it and bunches herself into a ball. It smells like him. In some way, being tangled in his blankets is like being swaddled in his arms. But it lacks the warmth that he had. In the privacy of the room she cries more openly. For the loss of Sokka. For the loss of her mother. For the loss of her father as he used to be.

She cries for her failed attempt. For her inability to even search for Sokka. For the abuse she’d taken and for the abuse she was about to take as soon as she inevitably faced her father. He was going to reek of alcohol and testosterone.

Her eyes are dry again and she has managed to catch an hour or so of sleep when she hears the knock. “The food is ready. It smells wonderful too.” Zuko calls.

“You can meet me at the table, Zuzu.” Groggily, Azula pulls herself up. She runs her hands over her face. She knows that her makeup is smeared and her hair is tousled. It doesn’t really matter, she has no one to impress right now.

She makes her way to the kitchen and pulls out a chair. Kya offers her a loving smile and her belly flutters again. That smile reminds her too much of her mothers for her to not have to bite the inside of her lip to keep tears at bay. She is being much too sentimental tonight.

“I’m sorry that you’re having such a rough night, sweetheart.” Kya cups her hand over Azula’s.

She doesn’t seem to take much offense at Azula’s lack of an answer. She eats in silence, listening to the other four make mundane conversation mostly about shows and how the restaurant repairs are coming along. She picks at her food, not really tasting it at all. It isn’t that the food isn’t rich and scrumptious, more so that her taste buds have dulled and her appetite has fled to make room for a feeling of sorrow.

There comes a knock, a heavy knock. Azula’s stomach plummets and the rest of her appetite is sapped away.

“I think that it is better if you return home.” Hakoda fills the doorway.

“I need to talk to her.” Ozai insists. She listens for a slur.

“We are in the middle of dinner.”

“I can wait.” She doesn’t need to see him to know that he his crossing his arms.

“After dinner we have other plans.”

“The discussion will not be long.” She hears no slur and she isn’t sure if this is more or less worrisome.  She wonders if she should just get it over with. With a deep breath she stands.

“Azula…” Zuko starts. She pulls her wrist out of his grasp and makes her way to the door. Her eyes are dim and as impassive as she can will them to be.

Hakoda seems to go tense.

“Father.” She greets as dimly as her eyes.

The man looks her over and rubs his hand over his face again. “I didn’t come to the beach to fight with you.”

“But you still did it.” She mumbles, absently massaging her bruised wrists. His eyes follow her hand and find the purple-yellow. She thinks that he might have winced. She slips that hand into her pocket. “What do you want.”

He holds out an ice pack, “just to talk with you.”

“We can talk when you’re sober.” She replies with as much coldness as the pack he holds out. She retreats back into the house.

They are three of Sokka’s favorite romantic comedies in, and she still can’t get Ozai out of her mind. She wishes that Sokka could be there to watch the movies with them.

.oOo.

Being back in the lighthouse is dreadful. She knew that Hakoda and Kya couldn’t let them stay forever. Though they offered to take them back if Ozai laid a hand on either of them. Her father isn’t home yet, but this is much worse than him having waited by the door. The anxiety of waiting for him to finally arrive is getting to she and Zuko both.

Zuko spends the better portion of the day pacing around the lighthouse. She is more subdued, taking up the demeanor of a death row inmate, with a silent resignation of her fate.

The door falls open and Zuko jolts. Azula grips the edge of her chair as Ozai’s footfalls echo. “Both of you!” He calls. Zuko freezes where he stands, his body locks. Azula can feel her mind ebbing away. It has been a long time since her mind has gone distant and impassive, but it is her only defense. “Come down and have a seat.”

Zuko catches her hand as she numbly lets her feet take over. “Azula, don’t.” She shakes her head. “Better to get it over with.”

Zuko follows her down the spiral staircase. Ozai sits at the table, waiting. Feeling slightly wobbly, she takes her own seat. Zuko remains standing and a distance away from the table. When it comes to father, he might just be smarter than she.

Their father takes a deep breath, sets a stack of papers onto the table, and pushes them towards her. She quietly scans them over.

“What are those for?” Zuko asks.

She meets Ozai’s stare and he nods. “They’re...AA forms, Zuzu.”

“Khozen wouldn’t pour me another glass until I went.” He grumbles.

“How long have you been attending?” Zuko asks.

“Just a few days now.”

“Is that where you were on Monday?” Azula asks, suddenly feeling as though she had been the aggressor on the beach that day.

He pinches the bridge of his nose before confessing, “no, I was at the bar.”

“So much for, Khozen not pouring you another glass…” Zuko grumbles.

“I went to AA and he poured me a glass as he said he would.” Ozai shrugs.

“Have fun sharing that story at your next meeting.” Zuko crosses his arms. “Is that all you wanted?”

“Not quite.” Ozai replies. “I want you to take that boat that the two of you bough and return it…”

“I’m going to find Sokka.” Azula hisses. “I…”

“What you are going to do, Azula, is return that boat.” He pauses. “That money was your college fund, was it not?”

Azula flushes.

“And Zuko’s...and a good portion of our lighthouse fund.”

Her lower lip quivers.

“You are going to return that boat. Khozen’s will do us just fine and it will cost us much less.”

Azula looks up from the table. “Khonzen’s boat?”

“He used to be a pirate. He and I struck a deal. If I...succeed with this,” he gestures to the packets, “he will lend me the boat free of charge and we can go and search for answers together.” He pauses. “I lost your mother, I’m not about to let the two of you sail away without me. Understood.”

Tears well in her eyes again, but this time they are born of a different emotion. Hope, she realizes. She nods, “yes, father.”

“Does that sound fair to you?”

Frankly, she thinks that, for once, her father might be getting the short end of the deal. But then, getting clean isn’t such a terrible fate. “It does.”

“Does that sound fair to both of you?”

Zuko shifts his weight, never uncrossing his arms. “I guess.” Azula can’t blame him for his skepticism.

“Can you wait a little longer?” He asks. “Maybe help Katara and her family with La-bsters and have you surf tournaments with Chan? And then we can go out to sea.”

“Can I bring Katara?” Zuko asks.

“That is up to Hakoda and Kya.”

Azula doesn’t particularly want to delay, but the offer on the table shows more promise than spending her college fund and taking an impulsive, grief-driven expedition. “I can wait a little longer.”