#and watching the fandom drama too ofc

[dashiellqvverty]

i do think the amount of comparisons between black sails and ofmd - both favorable and unfavorable tbh - is a little out of hand lmao like even before the flint vs stede poll there was a lot of it and its like. they are completely different shows with completely different goals. i just saw someone call ofmd a "black sails ripoff" and honestly what the fuck are you talking about. is black sails a pirates of the caribbean ripoff?? is there only allowed to be one television show about pirates and everything else is a copy?? or is it just the fact that there are also gay characters in it? im just like there are PLENTY of real and good criticisms why does it always come back to this. let them exist separately

[lollipopsub]

Updates on Utsukushii Kare: Eternal + S2 (as per Jan 26, 2023)

hi lovelies 💓

a lot is happening for this fandom at the moment, so I got a request to gather as much as possible of the info we've received so far!!

Here is a pretty long post summarizing what we know thus far!

The movie is called Utsukushii Kare: Eternal. The tagphrase on the poster is "Time and time again, I will search for you. Time and time again, I will love you. That is my eternity."

The movie will premiere April 7 in Japanese theaters.

The movie and the drama is NOT THE SAME THING.

I've seen a lot of people who seem to think the movie will just be like a special cut or something, but no, we're getting lots and lots of new story!!

The stories will connect, and the movie will serve as a continuation of season 2.

Here's the first trailer for the movie:

That's all we know about the movie so far.

Onto the drama!

Season 2 will start airing February 7

.... on a handful of different Japanese channels. At the time of writing, nothing has been confirmed about international distribution.

The first trailer for the show will be released next week, Tuesday the 31st of January!

The synopsis for Season 2:

"The days pass in bliss... Hira is in his 4th year of university and Kiyoi is active as a newly debuted actor. They live together in Hira's house as boyfriends. However, Hira's religious worship is unchanged, and the way he crawls and bows as low as possible without hesitation is causing neverending worries for the beautiful, arrogant King, Kiyoi. In addition, Hira has discovered a new hobby of following Kiyoi around while in disguise so as to not be found out. He did his best to not disturb Kiyoi, just watching, alone and quietly – but then an event lets him befriend a fellow fanboy.

As graduation grows closer, Hira's friends are busy hunting for jobs, and Hira starts worrying about his lack of job experience...

What road will Kiyoi and Hira choose as they move towards adulthood?"

The above, taken from the official website, is nearly the same synopsis as the second book, Nikurashii Kare, so it's likely that the season will be based on this book.

Cast so far:

So we have Koyama again, and otherwise there's a lot of new casts. A few have also confirmed that they'll be in the movie too: Hira's sister Naho, his nephew Tomoya, and it sounded on the actress as if Anna will also be in the movie. The rest are only officially confirmed to be in the show, but to be fair, absolutely nothing has been revealed about the movie yet other than title and the fact that the stories will connect.

The OP & ED songs will be done by the same artists as season 1, just switched around - so the opening song for S2 will be "Bitter" by Roce (ロス), who sang the ending song "Follow" from S1. Bitter will be from Hira's POV.

The ending song as well as the theme song for the movie will be by Mosawo (もさを。), called Kinmokusei ("Sweet Osmanthus", it's the name of this flower). Kinmokusei will be from Kiyoi's POV.

I think that's it for the time being, but I will try to update you whenever other more relevant news come out, and ofc I'll do my utmost to subtitle the upcoming trailer as soon as possible!!!

if you read this far, ilu <3

[linka-from-captain-planet]

you know i have to ask about minthara/florrick and if they've been asked already, my other old women jaheira/nine fingers keene maybe?

thank you as always for indulging my pet ship :) and ofc I love Jaheira/Keene too

Minthara/Florrick

What made you ship it? I had Minthara with me when I rescued Florrick from Wyrm's Rock once and the visual of them together, the two sexiest creatures in the entire game, made my pupils dilate so wide that I had to turn down the brightness on my monitor. Instant OTP, but then once I started back-calculating a canon-plausible dynamic, I realized that were literally my perfect ship.

What are your favorite things about the ship? We got elven MILFs, we got pride and prejudice, we got the sheer juiciness of applying mundane relationship issues to two freaks who don't think they're freaks. They have everything and nothing in common. They have shared trauma they'll never talk about, not that they're capable of communicating effectively. They're in love at a certain point, but it doesn't make a difference. They could probably work it out if Minthara were less insane or if Florrick were more insane, but they're both so set in their ways that changing is just out of the question. They're a soap opera starring the two most self-contained women in the universe.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? N/A as there's no such thing, but I think in general fandom leans toward happily-ever-after as a ship default so this kind of ship, doomed to fail and not even really anyone's fault, is super underrated. I like drama, but also I think a happy ending just doesn't suit a lot of ships. Maybe there's some universe where these two could overcome their issues, but it's definitely not canon.

Jaheira/Nine-Fingers

What made you ship it? "ASTELE" out of the blue had me like 👀👀👀. All of their interactions are just so homoerotic sorry. It's also funny to have this hater-hater relationship between grown ass women. An immensely "for ME" ship.

What are your favorite things about the ship? I think they'd be really well-suited for each other! They have chemistry, and the feeling I get is that they could be a sort of long-term somewhat-more-than-friends with benefits situation. I'm always interested in alternative relaionship dynamics, so I like to imagine they're both very comfortable with a pretty casual thing; they're both really busy women, and I feel like Jaheira doesn't really want a new one-and-only nor Nine-Fingers a ball-and-chain. No love lost for not being one another's first priorities, they fulfill each others' needs and make each other's lives better even if they aren't "together" in the way most people understand. The sweetest thing is that Nine-Fingers watches over Jaheira's children when she's gone, like that's so caring and she does it without being asked or taking credit.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? Not necessarily an unpopular opinion, but it always comes up so: no, Jaheira is not Nine-Finger's grandmother lol. She was just dogging her for being old, and it wouldn't make any sense based on the kids we know Jaheira has

[idabbleincrazy]

We Make Our Own Destiny: Ageless (Prologue)

Fandom: Smallville

Rating: M (E overall)

Pairing: Clex

Characters: Clark, Lex, Martha Kent, Jonathan Kent, OFC (Luthor Manor Staff)

Word Count: 5743

Warnings: fluff, soul-bond related empathy, Jonathan is nice, Lex is slowly gaining the love and support he needs/deserves

Summary: A new development and dinner with the Kents.

A/N: this would have been ready ages ago if I hadn't gotten stuck on trying to figure out Jonathan's dialogue. Now, off to work on the actual episode...

Edit: adding the end of work a/n that I included on ao3, for extra clarity:

I don't write from an outline (the muse never sticks to it anyway), so things may change over the course of writing, but I plan to rewrite the next few seasons with Lionel and Lex mostly switching arcs, i e., Lex being the AI's vessel, and Lionel being the villain/Zod/etc. There will probably still be some Lana drama along the way, and Jonathan will still die, Martha will still take his place in politics.

The Oliver issue will take a more slashy slant, though as of yet, I don't plan on making it go further than an implied jealousy. I may try to find a way to bring Bruce into the storyline, since Smallville had wanted to but couldn't get past some embargo.

I may, at times, incorporate comic or Arrowverse versions of characters into the story, just for my own need to make some characters better than they were.

Part Three:

After a fifteen minute shower, which would have been ten minutes if Clark hadn't insisted on washing Lex himself, very thoroughly, and Lex hadn't insisted on washing Clark's hair, or twenty if Clark hadn't sped through his own cleansing, the two young lovers finally left the bathroom to change into fresh clothes. 

"I made sure to have some Kent-appropriate clothes stocked in your closet, along with some more…adventurous choices, so you don't have to put those back on. Just toss them in the laundry basket in the bathroom."

"Not afraid of your staff finding our clothes mixed together?"

"They know to be discreet, Clark. But if you're worried, there's a hamper in your room, too." 

Clark met the challenge in Lex's eyes, very pointedly grabbing up his clothes and depositing them in the bathroom. Lex visibly relaxed and a small smile graced his lips as he pulled Clark in for a quick kiss. Clark trailed his fingers lovingly over the bracelet circling his wrist and returned the smile. 

"That's settled, then. Now, go get dressed. We've still got about four hours or so until we're due back at your place for dinner, and your mom will probably kill me if I let you starve until then." Lex looked Clark over, his libido too depleted for more than a cursory thrill to run down his spine as his eyes traveled down the bare, muscled torso, stopping at the line of the towel that covered his groin. Which twitched in reaction to his staring. "Go at human speed, please. If I'm still naked by the time you return, we may never make it downstairs for lunch."

Clark flashed him a sunny grin and acquiesced, turning away and walking across the room in what Lex could only describe as a saunter. Lex bit back a moan as he watched the ripple of muscles across Clark's broad back as he walked out the door, closing it softly behind him. 

"Tease", he whispered, knowing Clark would hear him. 

With a wistful sigh he dropped his towel and walked over to his closet. The hint of a smirk played across his lips as he wondered if Clark was in his room yet. He had purposely made that room directly above his back when it was the shrine to his obsessions, and now he couldn't help but think that Clark was using its placement to his advantage, looking through the floor to watch him dress. 

With a sly glance up to the ceiling, just in case, Lex pulled out a pair of dark purple silk boxers, slipping them on slowly and knowing how the color looked against his pale skin. He felt an unexpected shiver of arousal zip up his spine and frowned. Curiosity piqued, Lex tilted his head up slightly, just enough for Clark to see his expression if he was watching. Letting his eyes fall closed, he bit his lip and uttered a soft moan, one hand trailing over his chest to toy with a nipple. 

There it was again, a zing of lust coursing through him that was wholly separate from his own. Interesting. Letting his head and hand drop, he contemplated this apparently new development in the increasingly otherworldly bond that had burgeoned between him and Clark since they'd first had sex. He continued to ruminate on the matter as he finished dressing, noting a warmth of fondness trickling in the back of his mind as his hand hovered over a pair of semi-casual gray slacks that were similar to the ones he'd worn last night, and again as he plucked a silk, lavender button-down from its hanger. 

Belt and socks were chosen with no disturbance within the force, but surprisingly, he felt a shiver of arousal quickly followed by a pang of disappointment as he slid the first sock on. Did Clark have a secret thing for his feet? Slipping his feet into a pair of sleek black Oxfords again brought nothing but silence. Finally dressed, but no wiser on what exactly was going on with this new connection, Lex exited the closet and sat at the end of the bed to wait for Clark to join him. 

Exactly five seconds later, the brunette stood in front of him, dressed in black denim jeans and a dark blue shirt, a perfect mix between Clark's own style of choice and Lex's more visually appealing tastes. 

"You are such a tease! You knew I was watching, didn't you?" Clark stepped between Lex's legs, the result of his spying evident in the slight bulge now level with Lex's face. "So much for giving up your devious behavior."

"Mm. I had a suspicion. It's not my fault if you can't keep your eyes to yourself, Clark." Lex nudged Clark back a step and spread his legs wider, his hand moving from the bedspread to slip between them and cup his own groin, his smug look becoming serious. "Close your eyes."

Clark frowned in confusion, but did as Lex asked. Lex squeezed himself lightly through the layers of cloth, letting his own eyes fall shut as his other hand skimmed across his chest to toy with his nipples. He drew up images in his mind of the way Clark had looked on his knees, up in the loft, his eyes lidded in pleasure, lips spit-slick and parted wide. 

Clark gasped and Lex's eyes snapped open. Green eyes stared down at him in bemused awe.

*What…what was that?"

Lex stood up, taking Clark's hand in his. 

"You felt it, didn't you? I needed to test a theory, I'm sorry if it startled you. When I was changing, I felt what I'm assuming was your own arousal; that's how I knew for sure you were watching. And, how I knew you'd prefer it if I wore this particular outfit." Lex shot Clark a wry look. "I also felt a sense of disappointment when I put socks on; something you feel like sharing, Clark?"

Clark's face flushed an adorable shade of pink.

"I can't help it if every part of you is sexy, even your feet", Clark stumbled over the admission, just loud enough for Lex to hear. "So, what, we can feel each other's emotions, now?"

"That seems to be the case, yes." Lex smirked and led them towards the door, Clark's hand still in his. "As for your burgeoning foot fetish, we'll have to explore that further next time."

"Not a fetish. I just…oh, shut up!"

Lex let out a laugh, one of those genuine, deep belly laughs that Clark suspected few people got to hear, and bumped his shoulder into Clark's playfully. It eased Clark's apprehension over this new development to see Lex actually happy. Looking at Lex, he knew that if he was taking it in stride, instead of worrying and over-analyzing it, then it probably was nothing they couldn't handle. 

Following a step behind Lex as they walked down to the kitchen, Clark kept a loose hold of Lex's hand, letting him make the choice of whether to make the change in their relationship so obvious. Stepping through the entryway into the expansive kitchen, Lex made his choice clear, pulling Clark to his side to wrap a possessive arm around his waist as the cook, Mrs. McCreary, turned to greet them. Her already warm smile widened as she took in the half-embrace.

"Well, it's about time, Mr. Luthor. You know, I've been expecting this moment for the past two years." 

Lex ducked his head slightly, mildly embarrassed that his feelings had been so apparent to the grandmotherly woman. 

"Yes, well, the consent laws of Kansas still don't technically apply same-sex relationships."

"Still illegal to serve ice cream on cherry pie, too, but that doesn't mean we ever stopped." Mrs. McCreary stepped up to them and pulled them both into a warm hug. "That Adams woman won't hear a word of complaint from any of the staff, boys, I'll make sure of that. I've been in your employ since the day you got exiled to this quaint little town, sir, and I know how much of a hand young Mr. Kent here has had in the changes you've made, not only to Smallville, but yourself, as well. You've matured into a fine young man, Mr. Luthor, and that's less a result of the lessons your father taught you than the love you've found."

"Gee, Mrs. McCreary," Clark felt his cheeks flush at her words of approval and the changes in Lex that the woman seemed to attribute to his close relationship with him, "I don't know that I deserve much credit for any of that. Lex always had the good in him, despite Mr. Luthor's influence; surely most of that change was his own doing?"

"That might be, Mr. Kent, but you definitely gave him a nudge back in the right direction." Mrs. McCreary looked fondly at Lex, and let the pair go, heading back over to the kitchen island. "Alright, I'm sure Mr. Luthor's had enough of my fawning for one afternoon. I take it you boys have come in search of lunch?"

"Yes, Mrs. McCreary. And then, you can take the rest of the day off, Mrs. Kent's invited me over for dinner."

"Do the Kents know, Mr. Luthor? I wouldn't want to speak out of turn if I bump into either of them in town."

"Mrs. Kent does. We're waiting to ease Mr. Kent into the change in our relationship as of yet. And, how many times do I have to remind you, it's okay to call me Lex?"

"As many times as I have to tell you to call me Lorelei. That goes for you, too, dear." Mrs. McCreary winked over at Clark as she set up two plates of french dip. "I wouldn't worry so much about Jonathan Kent. He's a good, understanding man, even if he's a little gruff around the edges. Now, will you boys be needing anything else?"

"No, thank you, Mrs. McCreary, Clark and I will manage fine from here."

Mrs. McCreary quickly cleaned away the crumbs from the granite island counter and set the towel aside as Clark took his seat in front of one of the plates. She watched as he took a bite of the sandwich, patting his cheek when he flashed her a pleased smile, just managing to keep his mouth closed around the large bite. 

Lex chuckled when she left, walking over to the refrigerator to grab a can of soda for Clark and a bottle of Ty Nant for himself. 

"What's so funny?"

Lex sat down beside Clark, twisting the cap off the bottle and taking a swig. 

"Everything, Clark, everything. And nothing."

"Um, okay…"

"Sorry, Clark. It's just been a very surreal day." Lex dug into his own plate, relishing the tang of au jus. "You know, between Mrs. McCreary and your mother, I'm probably going to gain a pants size before the month is out."

"Well, someone has to make sure you ingest more than just caffeine."

"Mm. She's right, you know." Clark raised an eyebrow at him in confusion. "You do play a large part in the changes I've made within myself. Meeting you, it made me want to be better. To be more than just the man my father has spent my entire life trying to mold me into."

"Lex-"

"Really, Clark. I hadn't had anyone I could call a true friend for a long time before I met you. I had become jaded long before I was cast out of Metropolis, but then I met you, and it was like a breath of fresh air. You opened my eyes to the fact that not everyone is only looking out for themselves, that there is still good in this world, and you made me want to be a part of that." Lex took another large bite of the french dip before pushing the plate over to Clark, who had already finished his own heaping sandwich. Clark made a token protest, but Lex waved him off, knowing now precisely why the boy always had such a healthy appetite. "I know I haven't always gone about things the most morally appealing way, I've slipped, but I am doing everything I do in the pursuit of the betterment of humanity, Clark. I'm only sorry that some of my less than savory actions have put you and your family, and other good, honest people, in harm's way."

"I thought we were going to table the heavy stuff for now?" Clark sighed and turned in his seat, his crumb-free hand cupping Lex's cheek. "I don't expect you to be perfect, Lex. I'm not. The things I've done…my stint in Metropolis alone should have me seeing the inside of a prison cell for at least five years, regardless of the fact that I was under the influence of red Kryptonite. I…I've hurt people. I've caused pain; death. No one's infallible, Lex, not even me, so how could I expect you to be? It's how we try to repair the damage, and how we go forward that matters."

"Have I told you, I love you?"

Clark smiled that grin that Lex would never grow tired of, the one he always missed when things between them were stressed.

"Not in the last half hour."

"I love you, Clark. I don't think I'll ever not love you."

"I love you, too, Lex, even when you're being so stubborn that I just want to shake you until you see reason. I could never feel less for you than what I feel right now."

Lex stood from his stool and leaned in to brush a soft kiss across Clark's lips. Clapping him on the shoulder, Lex left him to finish his food and crossed over to the door to the cellar.

"Okay, I think I've officially reached my sap limit for the day. Now, does your mother prefer red or white wine?" 

"Um, red, I think."

Lex selected a moderately priced Bordeaux and set it in the fridge to chill.

"Alright, movie? Your choice."

"Sure. Star Wars it is."

Lex shook his head in faux-disappointment; Clark watched his Star Wars box set so often that if the Kents owned a DVD player, he'd have given him one as a gift. Maybe he'd give him a player and some DVDs once he started college.

"Grab some snacks and I'll go set up."

Clark clicked the movie off just as the credits began to roll, looking down at the lax face in his lap. He didn't want to wake Lex from his impromptu nap, but they had barely fifteen minutes to get back to the farm in time for dinner. 

They had easily fallen back into their carefree banter and camaraderie as A New Hope began on the large television Lex kept in the entertainment room, play-fighting for possession of the popcorn bowl, quoting their favorite lines along with the characters. Somewhere along the line, it became more flirty than friendly; the two of them scooting closer together, thighs pressed against each other, Lex's arm draping along the back of the couch behind Clark's neck. His fingers brushed through Clark's hair, petting and gentle. A can of soda shared between them like Clark imagined a couple on a date at an actual movie theater would do. 

Halfway through The Empire Strikes Back, Lex began to droop, curling in towards Clark, his head resting on his shoulder. Clark pressed a kiss to the top of Lex's head, and tugged him to lay down across his lap. Without thought, his hand sought out Lex's wrist and absently stroked over where the bracelet lay beneath the sleeve. It was oddly peaceful like this, and Clark finally began to feel like they were a real couple. He knew they wouldn't really be able to go out on dates, not in town, anyway, but at least they could have this. 

He could feel the hum of contentment exuding from Lex, and he hated to disrupt it, but he gently shook the older man awake, smiling at the momentary fuss he made as he was pulled back into consciousness. 

"Did I fall asleep?"

"Only for an hour. Movie's over, and we gotta head back, like, now, if we're gonna be on time."

Lex stretched and stood up, pulling Clark up with him as he headed out of the room. 

"Want me to clean all that up real quick?"

"I have cleaning staff, remember? Let me just grab the wine from the kitchen and we'll be ready to go."

Lex grabbed the bottle from the fridge and followed Clark to the garage, marveling in bemusement and not a small bit of wonder that he had fallen asleep like that. He had never been a cuddler in his previous relationships, had always shied away from excessive touching that had no sexual intent behind it. But with Clark, he didn't even think, just acted. With Clark, he felt…safe. 

Lex snatched a set of keys from the peg board and ushered Clark into the Ferrari, deciding it would be more likely to get them to the Kent farm a hair faster than the Porsche. He was tempted to let Clark drive just to see his face light up at the opportunity, but refrained at the thought of Jonathan catching his son behind the wheel.

They made it to the farm with barely a minute to spare, Lex slowing the car down to a reluctant 30mph once they reached the dirt drive that led up to the porch. As he'd suspected, Jonathan was leaning against the railing, watching as they pulled up. Clark felt a flicker of discomfort tremble through his mind, and he tried to direct a wave of calm over to Lex, unsure how this new aspect of their connection worked. 

"You'll protect me if he pulls out the shotgun, right?"

"Lex, he's not going to shoot you, even if Mom has told him already." Clark wished his Dad wasn't already outside so that he could have done more to comfort Lex's nerves than just talk. "I doubt she has, anyway. Hey, you're a big, bad CEO, remember? You've faced boardrooms full of men a whole hell of a lot meaner than my dad. Hell, you've survived Lionel. You can manage a family dinner with the man who may or may not know you're dating his eighteen year old son."

Lex put the car in park and took a deep breath as he pulled the keys out of the ignition. Grabbing the bottle of wine from where it was nestled in the center console, he flashed Clark a shaky smile and unbuckled his seat belt.

Clark got out of the car ahead of Lex, opting to field his dad back into the house as Lex trudged up the steps behind him, feeling slightly like he was walking up to the gallows. This was ridiculous, he was a Luthor, and Luthors did not get rattled over dinner with farmers like Jonathan Kent. Forcing all the anxiety behind the walls he'd spent years building, Lex stepped over the threshold.

Martha rushed forward to usher them all towards the table once the screen door closed behind Lex, relieving him of the bottle of wine.

"You have excellent taste in wine, Lex, thank you. Though I'm not sure how well it pairs with meatloaf." Martha took in Clark's change of clothes, but kept silent on it. Instead, she shooed the boys into the dinning room as she went to dig out the wine opener. "Clark, could you be a dear, and grab four wine glasses from the curio before you sit? Everything else is set out. Jonathan, the rolls should be ready now."

Lex sent a silent thanks up to whoever bothered to listen to Luthor's that Martha had so smoothly steered them past the need for awkward small talk. Apparently, she hadn't told Jonathan, after all, or there would have been no stopping him from pulling Lex aside the second they stepped through the door. He helped Clark set out the glasses, mildly surprised that the Kents seemed to be allowing Clark to imbibe, perhaps an extension on his birthday celebrations? He wondered if Clark could even get drunk under normal circumstances.

The table was laden with food, all circled around a vase of fresh sunflowers that stood as the centerpiece. A hefty pan of meatloaf, large bowls of mashed potatoes, and green beans, and  a platter that held a small pyramid of ears of corn; all no doubt made with ingredients fresh from either the Kent farm or one of the neighboring residences. 

Taking his cue from Clark, Lex sat at the place set across from him. He was tempted to stick to the rules of politeness, and pull out Martha's chair for her, but didn't want to ruffle any feathers with Jonathan. 

Shortly after the boys took their seats, the elder Kents came in. Jonathan set the basket of rolls and the butter dish in an empty space beside the pan of meatloaf, sitting down at one end of the table. 

"Alright, boys, help yourselves", Martha instructed as she went around filling the glasses, Clark's only halfway. "Don't think this is going to become a habit, Clark. Half a glass tonight, but then I don't want to find out you've touched a drop of alcohol until Mr. Sullivan's eggnog."

Clark flashed a beaming grin up at her, and Jonathan chuckled softly. Even Lex had to grin; he'd experienced Gabe's famous nog at the plant's Christmas party, and that stuff could have fueled the engine room for a month. 

"Thanks, Mom."

Martha placed a kiss on the top of his head as she passed back behind him towards her own seat, ruffling his hair. 

"Thank you, Mr. Kent, Mrs. Kent, for having me over tonight." Lex looked from Martha's warm smile to Jonathan. "I rarely get the chance to sit down for an actual meal these days, unless it's a business dinner, not counting last night, of course."

"It's our pleasure, Lex", Jonathan assured him, to Lex's surprise. "At least this way, Martha gets a bit of the mother hen out of her system."

"Hey!"

Jonathan gave Martha a grin that could only be described as cheeky. For a few minutes, silence resettled over the table as everyone dished food onto their plates, passing bowls and plates to each other that couldn't easily be reached. Lex waited until Jonathan dug into his own plate before picking up his fork and spearing a green bean. 

"We're not waiting for Lois?"

"Not tonight. She's helping Chloe wrap up some big story for her penultimate edition of the Torch", Martha stated simply. "It's part of why I asked you over. Jonathan?"

The elder Kent sighed a heavy breath and wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin before turning in his seat to face Lex more fully. A glimmer of what Lex could only read as shame rippled over Jonathan's sun-weathered features, and Lex felt confusion and a hint of worry tremble through from Clark.

"Look, Lu-Lex. It may have dawned on me that I've been neglecting to keep my end of an agreement." Lex set his fork down to give Jonathan his full attention, an eyebrow quirking in bemusement. "It may have only been a verbal request, but we shook on it nonetheless, and that's as good as any contract typed up on paper out here. When you came back from that disaster of a honeymoon, you had barely even recovered from the whole ordeal, and yet, one of the first things you did was gift us back our land. I know I agreed with only a minor hesitation when you claimed all you wanted in return was for us to treat you like family; I just, well, I just kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

You may have done some questionable stunts over the past two years, but even with this debt between us, you never once tried to wheedle us into anything. I was wrong, Lex, to keep thinking you were just a carbon copy of Lionel. This dinner is long overdue, and I can't help but think that if I'd kept my end of the bargain, maybe some of the recent troubles between you and Clark, some of the less-than-ideal choices you made, could've been avoided. I may be set in my ways in a lot of things, but I know when to admit to my mistakes, and…I'm sorry, son, for holding the Luthor name against you before even giving you the chance to show us who you are. I'd forgotten how very young twenty-one truly is, and immediately treated you only as the full-grown adult you tried to show to the world. And, in the spirit of making amends and keeping the promise I made when I shook your hand, there's a standing invitation for you to join us for dinner whenever you'd like."

"And, consider yourself unavailable for any non-LuthorCorp related holiday parties your father may ask you to attend in his stead", Martha tacked on as Lex absorbed Jonathan's speech. She flashed him a pointed look when he turned her way. "Welcome to the family, Lex."

Lex sat there, stunned, as he let the wave of emotions sweep through him, fighting back the slight sting of unexpected tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Son. Jonathan had called him son. All the moments of familial love he'd witnessed between these three and felt a pang of envy and longing. All the time he'd spent wondering how much more enjoyable his life would be if he'd had a family like the Kents instead of Lionel's twisted ideas of love and care. He felt a rush of happiness and warmth flow through him as Clark's face broke into a beaming smile, the teenager's feelings so powerful they bolstered his own. He'd spent four years striving and longing for acceptance and approval from the family circled around him, and now, he apparently had it. He couldn not let this fall apart.

"I…thank you, Mr. Kent; Jonathan. I can't say how much this means to me." Lex cleared his throat, taking a long sip of the wine, and looked between the older Kents. "I must admit, it makes me a lot more hopeful about what I had hoped to discuss with you both tonight."

Martha shot him a questioning glance, and Lex shook his head minutely before he continued.

"I was hoping to seek your advice and insights into some of my business plans." Lex focused his attention on Jonathan for the moment, wanting to read the man's face as he spoke. "I want to reincorporate LexCorp as its own company, wholly separate from LuthorCorp. I have control over both companies at the moment, but since my father's release from prison, and his less than savory dealings with Genevieve Teague, I have cause to be distrustful of his future actions. There are parts of the empire that my father has set up and intricated with LexCorp while he had majority control, that I'd rather be liquidated. I'm in the process of moving quite a few chess pieces in the ongoing game between Lionel and I, and I'd like to ask for your support and input. If I may?"

Jonathan looked back at Lex, his lips thinning into a slightly saddened smile. In another surprising turn of events, he reached out and laid his hand over Lex's, squeezing it gently.

"Son, I can't say as to how much help Martha or I can be, but I can honestly say I'm happy to be of service if I can take part in bringing Lionel Luthor down a couple pegs."

"Jonathan!" On Lex's right, Martha took possession of his other hand. "Sweetie, we'd be honored to help you set yourself up as your own man. Remember, I know how hard it can be to extricate yourself from the life your parents steer you towards."

"Thank you."

"Not to be that guy, but, can we eat now?"

Jonathan let out a hearty chuckle at Clark's interjection, and Lex let a flow of gratitude seep through the bond at the welcome change of subject. He'd had as much emotional outpouring as he could handle for one night; he wasn't built for this level of unquestioning care. 

"Alright, Clark. Dig in."

Dinner was eaten in a flurry of busy talk, discussions about the farm and Clark's encroaching graduation. The meatloaf was easily one of the best dishes Lex had ever eaten, simply for the love with which it was made. Clark talked animatedly with his parents, laughing and smiling, and making sure to pull Lex into the conversation whenever he seemed to be drawing back in on himself. Before he knew it, plates were cleared away, and Lex was being ushered over to the living room and maneuvered onto the couch beside Clark as Martha set about serving dessert.

While Martha and Jonathan were in the kitchen, Clark leaned in close against Lex's side, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

"See? No shotgun. I told you it would be okay."

"Am I dreaming? Has your dad really accepted me as more than that Luthor boy? Pinch me, Clark. Ouch."

"Clark!"

"Sorry, Mom, he asked me to!"

Martha gave an exasperated sigh as she rounded the couch, hands full of plates laden with large slices of pie. Cherry. With heaping scoops of vanilla ice cream on top. Lex flicked his eyes over towards Clark, and they both had to stifle the laughter building up in their chests. Martha caught their smirks and winked at Lex as she handed the boys their desserts. Jonathan followed behind her with a service tray of coffee mugs, cream, and sugar.

As Martha and Jonathan sat down with their own slices, Lex couldn't help but ask the question that had been dancing on his tongue since Jonathan's speech. 

"So, does this mean you're now amenable to presents?"

Caught off-guard, Jonathan let out a short bark of laughter around the mouthful of pie he'd just taken. Swallowing the bite with a shake of his head, he waved his fork in Lex's direction.

"Within reason. Speaking of, I take it that those clothes Clark's got on is a birthday gift?"

Clark looked over at Lex and decided to field this one himself, not wanting the other young man to say too much and end up bringing about even more questions.

"It's part of it. Lex got rid of everything in that room, Dad." Jonathan turned his gaze to Clark, his eyes questioning. Lex, for his part, busied himself with his pie, allowing Clark to take the lead. "He knew how his inquisitive streak was damaging our friendship, so he destroyed all the stuff he'd been collecting from all the weird goings on around town. And, he turned the room into a kinda guest room for me. These were in the closet."

Clark thought it best not to mention that there was also a room just for him at the penthouse, not wanting Jonathan to become too curious. 

"Well. Thank you, Lex. I hope you don't expect Clark to be using that room too often. Even during the summer, we'll still need him around the house to help with the farm."

"Yes, sir." Lex didn't really plan on Clark using the room he'd set up for him that much at all, now that things between them had changed so dramatically. 

After coffee and pie, and a refusal of help with the dishes, Lex thanked the Kents for the meal, and the sentiment that had been extended, and followed Clark out to the barn. His head full of emotion, his and Clark's, he was happy to be pulled into Clark's warm embrace once they'd reached the privacy of the loft. 

"It's definitely been an unexpected twenty-four hours, Clark."

"In a good way, I hope?"

"In the best way." Lex snaked a hand around the back of Clark's neck and pulled him into a kiss, their tongues meeting and moving against each other slowly, softly, neither of them really looking for more than just this. 

Breaking the kiss when he inevitably felt his body begin to respond, Clark pressed his forehead against Lex's. 

"I feel a bit guilty, not telling Jonathan about us. Especially now that he's finally starting to warm up to me."

"Don't. I'm eighteen now, I have a right to privacy when it comes to my sex life."

Clark let out a chuckle as he heard a voice floating out from the house.

"Mom's warning me not to stay up too late."

"Guess that's my cue, then. Did you want to come over tomorrow?"

"I'm meeting Lana at the Talon to study, but we can meet up there and hang out until she arrives? Mom'll be off shift before we even get close to finishing, so Lana was going to drive us back. Maybe you could drive me home instead?"

"It's a date. The Talon's probably a safe bet since we're there all the time anyway. Say, two-ish?"

Clark agreed and they slowly made their way back down to Lex's car. 

"Can I come over once they're all asleep?"

"Clark…"

"Please? It'll be hard enough sleeping on that couch, alone, after how amazing it was sleeping with you in my arms last night."

Lex sighed. He knew it would be hard for him, too. 

"Fine. But, only for a few minutes. I don't feel like tempting fate just yet."

Looking around for any observers, Clark quickly kissed Lex in thanks, a smile bright on his face in the darkening light. Lex started the car and reversed until he could turn around, Clark watching him as he drove down the dirt road back towards the mansion. The soft smile on his own lips stayed in place until he turned the ignition off, the shroud of loneliness of the empty castle falling around him. He felt a nudge of comfort from Clark as he walked through the drafty stone hallways to his room, and stripping out of his clothes, he let the exhaustion of such a whirlwind day lull him to sleep until Clark could slip into bed beside him. He knew it was more than likely that once Clark was in his room, neither of them would want him to leave until the last possible minute. 

~~~~~~~~~

@leatafandom

[noahtally-famous]

it's been a hot sec since I watched both action and all-stars but bear with me here.

I don't rlly mind action's finale too much (which might be surprising to most of the fandom) and all-stars finalists were meh (except for the spotlight on the newer gens during an all-star season, but whatever). but here's the vision I randomly came up with two hours ago:

action's finalists: (trustin 😶) or beth and lindsay or smth similar--all-girls finale would've been cool plus the besties vs. besties drama. nothing more needs to be said, I think y'all understand the gist, I don't think I need to explain that any further...

duncan's time to shine should've been during all-stars' finale against mal. og contestant vs. newer contestant (made more highlighted due to mal being dormant until the beginning of tdas). it would've been interesting and impactful imo to see duncan, one of the characters to get the most development in that season, war against his own moral beliefs (or lack thereof) while facing off against his former juvie pal who's way more chaotically evil/chaotically neutral than he has been during this season. like imagine a duncan who's already teetering bc he got dropped into the 'heroes team' and ppl keep thinking he's 'gone soft' and all he wants to do is prove them wrong, but here he is, somehow at the finale, facing someone he knows personally is worse than anything he can ever be, and a side of him does admire that, ofc, but also there's the million dollars to think abt. imagine imagine...everything abt that finale being one big irony, they both trade barbs back and forth bc they know each other from juvie so they know each other's ticks, the entire episode is just easter eggs of their individual pasts under the guise of certain things being said/done to mess with the other. so many internal dilemmas. and smth smth happens, mike fronts again in the middle of the finale, mal ends up relinquishing control of the host, no reset button involved, some sort of 'truce' between them occurs beforehand, mike's naturally confused but is rolling with it all, zoey could've still been one of the helpers, same with alejandro and heather, maybe chris's "cottage" does get blown up somehow, yada yada

[waitmyturtles]

TL;DR: My analysis of the quiet tone of the Cherry Magic movie -- the overarching theme of the movie was the development of family between Adachi and Kurosawa. 

Well, I’ve turned this space temporarily into a Cherry Magic hovel, a kind of messy sanctuary, really, maybe a cave full of hoarded passing thoughts, rising and cresting emotions, lots of SIIIIGGGHHS, at least two and a half re-watches of the movie, many reblogs, plummeting away my phone battery on consuming more and more gifsets. I regret not being here on Tumblr for the original series, but I feel like I’m more than making up for it by doing all I can to contribute to the dialogue around the movie, which I want to continue doing, meta-style!

Two things have cropped up in my reads of reviews here and on Twitter, one about the tone of the movie, and the other about the pace of growth between Adachi and Kurosawa. I think the first point goes into the second, so here we go:

I’ve seen a lot of comments about how the movie was quieter than the series. I reblogged a quick statement on quiet Japanese BLs earlier this weekend, and I also learned a bit about what the OG CM fandom hoped for with the original series way back when, when there were rumors of a real kiss for the final episode, and how the fandom was slightly let down. 

I think there’s an interesting dichotomy between heat and quiet in the kind of Japanese BLs I tend towards. If you read this space, y’all know my top three -- CM, Kinou Nani Tabeta, and Old Fashion Cupcake -- generally trend toward the quiet, with the slight exception of OFC, which turns up the heat in a panicked moment of revelation.

As I thought about this point, I asked myself -- why the draw towards quiet development and/or contemplation?

For me, all three of these dramas, especially KNT, center on family -- actively creating family, dealing with existing family, and/or managing expectations of creating a future family. 

If you’re Asian, as I am, the thinking on and managing of family issues is, in my opinion, the dominant issue that you spend the majority of your life dealing with. That’s not to say that in Western lifetimes, less time is spent on family issues. What I mean to say is that family issues, I would argue, take up more of your brain space and your sense of morality and ethical engagement in humanity if you’re an Asian, as opposed to the manifest destiny of the West. When I was right out of college, for instance, and rolling with a majority white hipster crew at that moment, my friends would comment on how I’d visit my family’s house once a month. That was tooooo much for them. And they’d legit tell me -- you care too much about your family, you need to separate yourself from them.

These are surface-scratching statements, and if you’re Asian, I know you’ll immediately guffaw at how ridiculous and impossible it would be to even BEGIN contemplating how to “separate yourself” from your family. It’s taken me a LOT of my old lady years to even come to grips with the fact that I needed to live an independent life away from the expectations of my family. And for hundreds of millions of people in our Asian cultures, those Western notions of “separation” and “independence” simply don’t exist. You can cohabitate, be co-dependent on, be enabled by your family, and that is just fine. Family is the structure that gives meaning to the lives of many Asians, without question. 

So to say that the movie tends towards the quiet, I think, possibly bypasses what I think is a major point that the movie is trying to make, both in a cultural arc and in the actual storyline: We are seeing Adachi and Kurosawa making a family together, THEIR family together. 

IMHO, the king of family-oriented BLs was KNT. Both Yoshinaga Fumi, the mangaka behind KNT, and Adachi Naoko, KNT’s screenwriter, deliberately gilded the KNT script with the tadaima and okaeri greetings that you hear when someone comes home at the end of the day. That set-up was meant to indicate that Shiro-san and Kenji considered themselves family to each other -- because, you might be saying tadaima to your parents when you’re a child, or your spouse as an adult. 

The clues to Adachi’s thinking about family are apparent. There’s the moment where he gives advice to his chief about the chief’s complaining wife. There’s the moment in the office when Rokakku and Fujisaki are talking about their lives, the very moment in their lives where they are single but happy at work and with friends. There’s the moment when Adachi picks up the mail and sees his name and Kurosawa’s name, while coming home. 

And of course, the gorgeous moment in the kitchen when Adachi states his desire for a public and permanently committed relationship with Kurosawa. 

Adachi is creating his new family in that moment. 

I want to tie this together with a comment I read on Twitter about how Adachi’s personal growth matched Kurosawa breaking down his walls of perfection, and how he originally projected his perfectionist nature on their relationship. We remember in the series Kurosawa being ULTRA cute in the office after Adachi’s original confession, saying he was going to create the best first date ever; and then all the practice dates they had; and all the planning that went into the Christmas date. 

Those walls began breaking down a little bit in the last episode of the series, and we saw that even more as the movie began, when we realized that they had not, indeed, bonked, as we thought they had, on Christmas Eve. When Adachi’s hunger interrupted their potential love sesh, Kurosawa was like, WEEEEELLLL, through gritted teeth -- I’ll still be patient for Adachi. 

That’s life. But as I originally wrote in my first review of the movie, what I didn’t expect to see in the film was that the movie would be utterly dominated by Adachi’s internal growth INTO the relationship, and how that ultimately steadied Kurosawa to be okay to be weak in front of Adachi, and in his own (Kurosawa’s) life. We know this is a HUGE DEAL, a HUUUUGE DEAL for Kurosawa. He mentions it in the essay he writes for Adachi’s family. He states it as a major point of being devoted to Adachi to his (Kurosawa’s) mother. Breaking down his walls is a major life moment for Kurosawa -- and it would not have happened without Adachi becoming his family.

Because -- family, often, is about rejiggering and redefining one’s boundaries, and creating new ones with the people you’ve chosen. If you’ve chosen well, and right, like our boys did, then your partner gives you the strength to do this major lifting.

AND: where else do we see these boundaries being rejiggered, besides between Adachi and Kurosawa themselves?

We see them in the family scenes. I think that the movie devoted a LOT of time to the family scenes says a lot about what I said earlier about Asian cultures.

I swear to jebus that I nearly had multiple heart attacks during the family scenes. Besides Kurosawa’s mom’s very apparent sadness and confusion, Adachi’s mom had me at moments, even though she outed herself as a fujoshi, basically, lol, when Kurosawa showed up. Why the heart attacks?

These confronting kinds of conversations to family about things like marriage -- I mean, I don’t know if I have the words to describe HOW MOTHERFUCKING HUGE THESE CONVERSATIONS CAN BE FOR MANY ASIANS. Like -- these conversations can be the culmination of a lifetime. They can destroy you. Y’all, if I wrote about what happened to me when my family learned I was dating my husband (in a cishetero relationship, peeps! Interracial and interfaith, yes, but otherwise, not really rocking the boat here!), I probably wouldn’t finish writing without breaking down in tears for an hour. It was horrible. My family couldn’t handle the growth, simply put. 

This Asian family dynamic that an individual’s original nuclear family unit carries SO MUCH WEIGHT IN THEIR APPROVAL OF WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU DO -- I emphasize here that this theme was major in the movie. The movie NEEDED to spend time on this in order to achieve Adachi’s dream of permanence with Kurosawa. Adachi NEEDED to tell Kurosawa that he (Adachi) would be present in front of Kurosawa’s parents -- because Adachi KNEW that Kurosawa would NEED Adachi there, because of how BIG that BIG CONVERSATION would be. I’m talking BIG, here, BIG. And I believe that the movie’s OG Japanese audience understands this very implicitly and very, very deeply.

Adachi NEEDED to grow into himself -- he needed to lose his magic, his crutch -- and needed to FIND himself to be the strength and pillar that Kurosawa would need to face his family. I want to take this point, make it into a Cherry Magic teddy bear, brand it with Gelato Pique, and place it on a mantle. 

In order to face their families, our guys needed to become family. And that’s why I think the movie tended towards the quiet -- because THAT kind of growth takes a lot of internal work that comes out in the quiet moments of intimacy with the people you’ve chosen and you love. 

[golbrocklovely]

i saw someone on twitter seriously have a go bc snc were focusing more on their social life than their professional life. like what? thats insane. they’ve worked 24/7 for the last 10 years. they deserve to enjoy themselves for a while.

and i have to laugh. people saying theyre going to stop watching snc and laugh as their careers fumble? babes, if they depended solely on yt views for income they’d be uploading far more frequently. besides, they have 12 million followers and easily bag a million views on a video in the first 24 hours. a few dozen fans boycotting them is not going to make even an ounce of difference. but hey, if it makes you feel better, all power to you. (“you” being those fans ofc). not to mention they have investments and other business endeavours outside of youtube. your online hissy fit will do jack shit. (again, “you/your” being those fans)

:)

i think that's the thing i find so funny about this fandom. first off almost 99% of the drama is started by twitter. or at the very least they're the loudest at all times. they also think a lot of us feel the same way as them just bc it's an echo chamber over there. so when they all start calling snc out on something or think that that everyone feels the same way, they feel like they are making an impact by saying they'll leave or stop supporting if snc don't meet their demands.

and babes, if you really aren't enjoying your time here, you can go. it's fine. no one is holding a gun to your head and telling you to stay. but don't expect snc to do everything you want them to do. it's just not gonna happen.

sometimes i don't get this fandom. bc look, when i was here back in 2020/21, i got some of the backlash that the boys were facing. i understood parts of it, for sure. but there was a lot, and i do mean a lot, of extra shit that went on that made it much worse. and that side of the fandom… they cried wolf too many times. you don't get to do that repeatedly and then think that snc are gonna stick around to actually hear what you gotta say.

and especially rn, what exactly are ppl pissed off about?? bc look, you wanna say you miss when they were posting a lot more, sure. i get that. i miss them posting more often too. but you gotta also realize maybe WHY they aren't posting so much. and blaming their new gfs isn't one of those reasons.

they have explained that they basically had little to no personal life at one point, that all they were doing is working. that they didn't get to spend time with their friends or gfs bc they were working so much. sam, the man that never addresses drama, is asking fans to cool it. he full on said that he was miserable a year or so ago bc of all the stress he was under. and then colby, the man that doesn't cry ever, had a full on break down in 2022. and didn't even admit it until midway thru 2023. he doesn't read comments anymore bc they get so bad sometimes. or how about that colby even stated that he didn't even want to tell this fandom that he had cancer bc he knew how everyone would react if he went bald………. what does that tell you???? that we aren't trustworthy. that snc feel the need to pull back bc we are all toxic.

at what point do we turn the mirror on ourselves and realize hey, maybe i've taken things too far??

and reality is, a LOT of this only popped up once they both got gfs. a lot of fans say those two aren't to blame or they're not upset or they don't actually want to date snc, but at the end of the day them finding someone to love was the straw that broke the camels back. and you gotta sit back and wonder why does seeing snc happy make me upset and want to leave?? (if someone reading this is one of those fans)

bc rn, i'm more into snc than i have been in a while. i want to see them happy and healthy and enjoying life. sure, colby being in his feels (or sam even) was a fun time, sure. i love me some balcony tweets. but at the end of the day, i don't want him jaded and unable to find love again. why the fuck would i wish that on someone i love dearly??? same with sam. sure. i can joke about kat and how i want her new song to tear him a new one, but i still want him to be happy. i want him to be able to move on from his relationship with her. and that's not a cut at her. no one should be stuck feeling like shit. take it from the person that has been like that for years and still really is in one way or another: i wouldn't wish heartache on my worst enemy. so why would i do that to someone i say i care about??

but back to your ask lol

yeah, the twitter fandom thinks it's all high and mighty but it lost that spark by 2022. their words mean nothing, snc have pulled back bc that side of the fandom sucks (but also bc they want a break), and now they are facing the consequences of their actions and don't like it. womp womp. there's still almost 12 million of us babes. a couple 100 of you leaving ain't gonna do shit.

[liaa--qb]

Why, do you think, helaemond is more popular on ao3 than alysmond?

see people like that particular ship more and why they like it ? I am gonna say this answer very clearly in simple words as general audience/reader. I read FnB after watching HOD s1( n I still don't know why this book has so much hype cz it was just normal😑 if I compare it with my other favourite fantasy books). I dk wtf happens on twt, I am not twt stan thankfully that place is worse, some of my friends r so Ik how rubbish some people behave there .

Aemond to me is a character who is someone very perfect material for ETL ships or forbidden ships😂. I myself find Rhaena/Aemond or Aemond/strong daughter of Rhaenyra ship way more interesting than alysmond but that's never gonna happen😅

Then there's Helaemond which is also a forbidden ship. Main point of these ships would be that " Aemond is the typical bad guy who will fall for someone good.🤡🎃" That's how mostly fanfics n reader works usually go for in every fandom😹. Same thing kinda goes for Halaemond , as Helaena is pure Angel while Aemond is a villian. It's giving all typical bad guy-good girl dynamic with forbidden incest which actually suits HOTD alot😅, recreating borgias scandal again !

These are the major ships of Aemond -

Aemond with strong bastard of Rhaenyra

Aemond with any girl on team black side( daughter of Daemon/Rhaenyra)

Aemond with Helaena

Readers and writers like these following ships of Aemond more than any canon so ofc they would go for that whether it's ao3, Wattpad or anything. Aemond and normal servant or any other oc is more famous than alysmond 😭 and it's just reader's choice, no one forced them.

Moreover the way Aemond is , he is someone who would definitely go for valerian targ blood girl if his narcissist ass had any chance.

I usually don't get attracted to incest alot. I adore dany but I am still not fond of Jon/Dany 😭 & never will. It's all chemistry. Milly n Matt also had good chemistry 🔥 I got attracted to halaemond during episode 8, 9. Idk but chemistry was real good when they were just staring at each other. I still don't know why that guy turned his whole fucking chair to watch her dance with Jace !

Halaemond is providing more content for drama, forbidden, incest, cheating on green side and they do have a chance of becoming a kinda forbidden tragic couple. In short their couple actually reminds of something 'hamlet n Ophelia', very much. One can write alot if they want to n unlike other ships of Aemond it actually has chance on screen. So why not ?

though I appreciate every ship including alysmond too but I genuinely don't consider it was any romantic ship just the way some Stans like to say n I have reasons for it. It was sexy, they were partners with benefits like melisandre and stannis but never romantic to me. Who knows I might get attracted to alysmond if gayle and ewan's chemistry turned out to be good. It's different for everyone, right now to me other ships of Aemond have more appeal than alysmond, [nothing against alysmond 🙌 ] it's just my own preference n I am not shaming or forcing anyone.

[kels-orange-joe]

introduction ^_^ (regularly updates)

haii my name is stitch (not my real name obviously)

and yes as in the chaotic blue creature from lilo & stitch but that’s besides the point

this is my side blog!! an omori (mainly kel) themed one at that. my main blog is @stitchthelilo, and this is specifically for stimboards/sensory boards (well some other stuff too but that’s like the main thing) whatever you wanna call em, it’s also a kel fanblog cuz he is THE BEST OMORI CHARACTER!!! I WILL STAND BY THAT TIL THE DAY I DIE BECAUSE ITS TRUE

nonetheless.. i do take requests! and my status will update when they are open and stuff like that idk

i tend to use emoticons a lot and i’m a lil bit cringe so just a warning

my first time doing this so criticism is accepted with wide arms :)

the stuff you can request is what i have put in the tags section :3 (will further elaborate in rules/boundaries section)

ohh and even if you wanna request something really specific (like combining #sunny’s sketchbook and #character portraits for example) you can still request it as long as it’s something that is a combination of tags that i put

also if you want to request a prompt pls specify if you want it to be dialogue or scenarios

TAGS

#waves of orange joe = stimboards/sensory boards

#sunny’s sketchbook = art

#character portraits = pfps

#mari’s picnic blanket = flags

#headspace shenanigans = fanfics

#basils’s photo album = headcanons

#white space vibes = mood boards

#space boyfriend’s tape = playlists

#sunny’s inner mind = prompts

#the headspace alter egos = names/pronouns

RULES/BOUNDARIES

sfw interactions only!

any fandoms are accepted! some i just know more about better than others which i will get into in a bit, so please do understand.. as that is why the accuracy for some stimboards is off

i have the right to deny your request, ESPECIALLY if it’s something very icky

proshippers/comshippers, dubcon/noncon, nsfw blogs, ddlg blogs, anti-lgbtqia+, anti-religion (muslimphobic, islamophobic, etc. etc), anti-xenogender/neopronouns, anti-otherkin/therian/whateva idrk, racist, zionists, and just anyone who supports anything gross GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THIS BLOG DNI

please do understand i have a life and you will have to be patient, your requests will be done eventually just wait

just have common sense, if you KNOW something is bad but are still here then go away oml

feel free to just talk to me in the asks! anon or not, i’m willing to just talk, as it isn’t just for requests. you can vent or rant there too if you want, i’ll listen! you are loved remember that <3

any ships are fine as long as they aren’t illegal or anything, a personal favourite of mine is suntan :3

you may request: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, whump, slow burn, nsfw (just not smut, i’d rather not do that on a blog like this.. implied smut is ok though! and gore and heavy topics are fine too), panic attacks, all types of horror, comedy, drama, pining, mutual pining, all kinds of relationships (as long as the toxic ones are not romanticised), and basically just anything that isn’t in the you may not request part

you may not request: smut, proship/comship, dubcon/noncon, romanticisation of gross things (but if it isn’t meant to be romanticised then you can request), just anything gross really

THINGS I WILL MAKE

ocs as long as you provide pics and/or info, info is optional though ofc! but if you don’t provide it i am just gonna go off of aesthetic

total drama

danganronpa

omori

undertale/deltarune but moreso undertale

pokemon

sonic

mario

cookie run

the amazing digital circus

murder drones

smg4

bfdi/bfb/tpot

ii

hfjone

any object show really lmao

mlp

adventure time. however……. i may not be that accurate when it comes to later seasons or fionna and cake, cuz i never actually finished it or watched the spin-off, lmao sorry

gravity falls! same as adventure time though, haven’t yet finished it (but ik bill cipher and allat)

vocaloid

warriors/warrior cats (i haven’t read the books though, might not be accurate sorry)

scp foundation

bbc ghosts

she-ra: and the princesses of power

memes

garfield

the sims

among us (as cringe as that may sound, it’s a good game)

my singing monsters

the battle cats

dnd

agere/petre/agedre/petdre

otherkin/therian

furry

starters movieunleashers

hazbin hotel/helluva boss (i do NOT support vivziepop or her team, i separate content from creator because the episodes can really be good, even if they miss most of the time.. and i love the concept of both shows. I PIRATE IT Y’ALL DW I AM NOT GIVING PRIME VIDEO NOR VIVZIEPOP MY MONEY 😭)

doctor who

good omens

and much more! but i can’t be bothered adding them.. if any more of my interests are in an ask i’ll just tell y’all and edit this

[skepticalarrie]

ALLIE!!!!

I used to follow you here when I was reallyyyy active in the fandom, always on top of everything. But being on twitter made me realise how much of my time and life I was wasting away on social media. Then suddenly life got busy last year and I took an impromptu break from all my socials and completely fell out of the circle. 2 days ago I decided to read y&b again on a whim and I realised just HOW MUCH I MISSED EVERYTHING!!!! It led me to watching an update video of larry on yt and I FOUND OUT HARRY HAS A NEW STUNT NOW?? LIKE CMON!!!!! I genuinely never thought I would fall so out of touch with the fandom. Ig there's still a part of me that really likes staying out of the drama and the pr and just wants to enjoy their music without delving too deep into anything, but I missed this too. So ofc I made a new tumblr account and followed you first haha!! I'm never (hopefully) going back on twitter now. I want to just be a tumblr larrie for life lol.

That being said,, this'll sound weird buttttt ummmm as a maybe big sister can you pretty please give me a few tips on how to stay updated on everything and not waste my life away on social media? 😭

You don't have to obviously, but I will absolutely kiss the ground you walk on if you did 🙈

Hi anon, welcome back! Fandom experiences are always so bittersweet, right? While you feel good and feel like you belong somewhere, it's also a very tricky and toxic environment. It's nothing like twitter or tiktok, but you also need to be careful with tumblr btw 🤧🤧 Anyways, I'm happy you were able to step away and now you're looking for a more "healthy" approach with social media.

But I don't know how I can help you, I think just following the right people around here who also match your vibe. Like people that you know that they will be posting updates without making a big drama out of it, and with a quick scroll you can take everything in. People usually don't like following "discussion blogs" like mine because of that sometimes, which is very understandable. Now I've been mostly inactive for the past 6 months, but I always talked about stunts and stuff like that on my blog, and that can be super draining and time-consuming for myself and for others reading it. So it was very good for me to step away and completely ignore stunts and any other stupidities that were happening, and I plan to stay like this for a while because for me is not worth it. I didn't exactly feel like I was "wasting my time" here or on social media in general, but I definitely felt like I was worried about stuff that simply didn't matter and I could use that time better. I hope that helps, anon, it wasn't the best answer LOL sorry!!!

[stargaterevival]

20 questions for writers! Thanks @sga-owns-my-soul @frostysfrenzy

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

5 works

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

116,241, mostly between the two novels.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stargate SG1 and Atlantis, MCU Avengers Steve Rogers, (unpublished: Saving Hope, Daredevil, Supernatural).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The there are only 5 on Ao3 so far 😅

You and Me (Stargate SG-1, Daniel Jackson x gn reader, 🔞)

What was Lost (Marvel, Steve Rogers x OFC 🔞)

Fetish (Captain America, Steve x Peggy)

Worlds Colliding (Stargate SG-1, Sam x Martouf)

Capturing Samantha (Stargate SG-1, Sam x Martouf)

5. Do you respond to comments?

YESSS!! I live for comments, and reblogs, all the interactions!!!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

You and me is the angstiest in general. It gets very emotionally dark.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

What was Lost has the happiest ending so far... but it may be overtaken by You and Me, we'll have to wait and see 😉

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I was once told my mystery was too mysterious 🤣

9. Do you write smut?

Sort of, I write romance 😘 so it's bound to happen 😏

Okay, yes. Yes, I do.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written?

Not yet, never say never.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

We all have, everyone who's been on Ao3 for a while. Don't steal my shit 🤬 I'm pretty mad about chatGPT scraping everyone's works. Disgusting bunch of thieves!!!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! I think most writing loses its essence in translation.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes! It was so much fun!!!

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

Probably Daniel/Sha're, or Daniel/Vala (Stargate) but also partial to Steve/Nat (MCU), and Matt/Elektra (Daredevil). But X reader fics are the most fun you can have 💘

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a dirty Daredevil X reader languishing in my wips. Might get around to it when I watch the new season.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character voices and attentions to detail. People usually comment on those things. I'm also good at bringing the Drama™️. There may be some screaming, crying and throwing up 😂

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Keeping it short and sweet, my slow burns really are slow burns. I have to pay specific attention to pacing and linking scenes well. I do way too much Research™️ .

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I would if I had a native language speaker to proof read it for me.

As a reader I find it annoying if I have to keep moving back to the chapter notes to check translations. It interrupts the flow.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The X-files but I was a kid, does that count? Supernatural is probably more relevant.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Honestly, I love my two novels, I'm pretty attached to them 🥰 they've been such a journey, personally and in terms of developing my writing skills.

tagging @i-am-morrigans-apprentice @jgem87 @darsynia @figsandfandoms @rightbrainboredom @riverageleis @sarcasticsciencefictionwriter @cuillere @courtforshort15 and anyone else who's interested!

-- Ellie 💗 (@ellie--eille)

questions under the cut

20 questions for writers!

Thanks @

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut?

10. Do you wrote crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

[bwambiee]

Which girl group would bachira and yukimiya most likely listen to?

IM BACK WITH MORE, MOREEEEE

— nonnie 100000/10 think that yukimiyma, bachira, chigiri are girl group enthusiasts, if you didn’t think that now well now i’m shoving this into your brain so you can!

— def stans all the 2nd gen , 3rd gen , and ofc 4th gen groups and know all their songs to a perfect T

— yukimiya practically worships the ground girls generation walks on and I bet you he even practiced the gee choreo just in case his modeling takes him to a variety show and he has to dance, it might never happen but you never know. He’s an SM stan I feel it in my bones, he was dancing to f(x)’s electric shock when he came out of the womb and now he’s out here giving ppl top 10 reasons why you should stan aespa. If SM won’t hire him as an idol he might as well become the market face for them!

— bachira lives and breathes twice. That is not a headcanon but tis’… a fact. You ask him to bust out a number of the feels and he’ll do it. Singing and dancing with his broken english and all (I sincerely think he got all the guys together at blue lock one day and had a whole dance off like mf camp rock or something,,, kpop to the death of wtver LMAOO). Unlike yukimiya though I don’t think he’s much of a company stan since he literally listens to all (he’s not picky I tell you, one minute he’s listening to Itzy and the next he’s shaking his ass to Exid’s DDD , iconic really) but IF I had to pick I think he’s a jyp stan bc I know this man listened to got7 and is listening to stray kids too, Day6 if he’s feeling his feels too y’know?

— now chigiri…. chigiri is cultured. He has refined tastes, he has a sister so I know DAMN well he is both a boy group stan AND a girl group stan GASP the work of treachery!! how can this be?: Enhypen by day, new jeans by night. He popped OFF on le serrafim’s anti fragile when it dropped and I kid you not he def taught isagi, nagi, and barou the choreo one night before a game with that lil’ ipad they have. “But I bet they have certain apps blocked 🙁” NO. no, these mf’s probably found a vpn and downloaded that shit so they can have spotify or youtube,, OR EVEN VIKI TO WATCH DRAMAS DW I FIGURED IT OUT, that’s how these headcanon came to life. When chigiri’s brushing his hair or his teeth you can catch him singing and dancing to omg by new jeans and cupid by fifty fifty— i know this bc kunigami told me and recorded it oops

— THESE GUYS HAVE SECRET FAN ACCS OMG (thank u xi for this) they also start fanwars on the TL bc they’re in blue lock and they’re bored and toxic, does ego find them? yes, does he delete and tell them to come to his office and lock off? no, bc ego is enjoying the drama between le sserafim’s fandom and aespa’s fandom on “who’s the biggest gg?”

— the replies make him chuckle so he leaves it alone when yukimiya told chigiri (allegedly on their fan accs) that “le serrafim can preach abt being anti fragile but your rocked up knee says otherwise, your group doing false advertising 🙄”

-to which chigiri responds : “at least mine aren’t robots and have more plastic then an organic grocery store who preaches abt saving the planet but they got their strawberries in a plastic container 😟I don’t need to use ai bot to talk to my idols so… ”

— bachira is just lurking and instigating he’s such a bitch bruh “oooh you gonna just to take that???” “yikes bro personally…. I wouldn’t take that” SHUT.

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

[tag game] get to know me

Thanks for the tag @xxluckystrike - love you, Blu! <3

name(s): helena! I'm no longer fussed about the pronunciation, I swear I've heard every iteration that is humanly possible. (it's phonetic. work it out people)

pronouns: she/her

star sign: libra

# of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any): I have one sibling and we're super close. I'm a few years older than them and as such have successfully indoctrinated them into loads of my interests, and we love watching period dramas together - especially ones for 'old ladies' like Downton Abbey and Call the Midwife

# of pets & their names: I don't have any pets anymore, but I used to have 2 ginger cats - they were brothers named George and Jasper

fandoms: SOOOO many so I'm gonna have to shortlist - HBO War, A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones/House of The Dragon, The Terror, Star Wars, Shadow and Bone/Six of Crows, Ted Lasso, BBC Ghosts, Doctor Who, Lord of The Rings/The Hobbit, and about a hundred different period dramas

favorite color: green!

favorite song: I think I'll have to go with I Know The End by Phoebe Bridgers - literally nothing hits quite like it

favorite author (of anything readable-- books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!): Leigh Bardugo is the author I've read the most of, but I also really love Taylor Jenkins Reid, her characters and writing style are really easy to engage with. I'm really getting into R.F. Kuang's books at the moment, as I'm currently reading the second book in the Poppy War trilogy.

hobbies: writing is ofc a big one, but I've always really loved art too! I've been acrylic painting for about ten years, which has enabled me to develop my skills in a way I'm really proud of, and I've recently started doing digital art too. I'm still trying to find my footing with that, and it'll take a lot of practice, but hopefully someday I might draw something good enough to post

favorite fic type: I love angst and fluff equally, it's all dependent on the character(s) I'm reading about or the mood I'm in tbh

favorite holiday: Christmas!!! I'm a Christmas girlie until I die, nothing else comes close

do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything!): nope

fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share!: Wasn't sure if I should include music under fandoms, but it's a huge part of my life, so I thought I'd ramble about it here. My favourite artists are Hozier, Florence + The Machine, Phoebe Bridgers/Boygenius, and Taylor Swift (Who I'm going to see live this summer!). But I listen to music almost constantly, I literally can't do anything without it, whether I'm writing, working, or just walking around, music is an absolute life-saver to me

Tagging: @basilone @latibvles @dcyllom @trenchenjoyer @educationalporpoises @footprintsinthesxnd

[leonisandmurex]

15 people, 15 questions

Thankyou for tagging 💛 @foreverinthepagesofhistoryy @shvybziik @world-of-wales

1) Are you named after anyone?

My middle name's my great grandma's & it was her grandad's too

2) When was the last time you cried?

lol idk I get teary for nothing all the time atm

3) Do you have kids?

No but also yes *see pets

4) What sports do you play/have you played?

lol no no I can't

5) Do you use sarcasm?

I get in trouble! Yes!

6) What’s the first thing you notice about people?

If I feel comfortable around them, their vibe?😭 is that weird??

7) What’s your eye colour?

Green

8) Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings

9) Any talents?

Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, things like that :)

10) Where were you born?

In a hospital ;)

11) What are your hobbies?

Royals! ofc (is my No1 midlife crisis) but also: art, music, watching documentaries, sitcoms, period dramas, Disney+ :) & paranormal shows🤡, nature (you guys think it's dorky William gave Catherine binoculars 😂 but that's my ideal gift!😭), spending the midnight hours on astrodienst (bc astrology 🤡), collecting instruments I can't play 🤡 (bc trad folk), collecting in general, reading about social/local/Celtic/ancient (not royal🥲) history & mythology/poetry, 2 day whim obsessions on ANYTHING...& doom scrolling, i love that sm

12) Do you have any pets?

A bunny :)

13) How tall are you?

5'9 but I'm an ambulatory wheelchair & cane user, I'm not confident w/ my height when walking

14) Favorite subject in school?

Art, science

15) Dream job?

Stained glass artist

15?🫠 that's a lot (I'll count the 3 who tagged me) : @royalknightwalker @rex-and-regina @victoriademedici @philibet-fandom @royally-obsessed @midnight-reign @the-mountbatten-windsors @the-tea-always-spills @thewales-family @leonorandsofia @melthehoneyjar @is-mayo-an-instrument

[pintsizemama]

Heroes & Heartbreak

Chapter 19

Summary: Javi and Ari talk about their future. Carrillo’s unconventional methods are effective, but unpopular. A new informant comes forward that may just give them the edge they need to take down Escobar.

Pairings: Javier Peña x OFC Ariana Morgan—DEA Agent and daughter of Pablo Escobar

Fandom: Narcos

Rating: Explicit 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 9,558

Warnings: language, angst, kissing, smut, PiV sex, unprotected sex, other woman drama (kind of), violence, CHARACTER DEATH, blood...let me know if I missed anything, and I’ll happily add it here!

A/N: This one is tough…if you’re familiar with the show, you know what’s coming. I hated writing this scene, but it was necessary…I think. More notes at the end.

I included conversations from the episode to help anyone who hasn’t seen it or hasn’t watched it in awhile. Sorry if it feels redundant if you’ve seen the show a million times like me.

As always, feel free to let me know if I need to correct the Spanish translations!

Chapter 18 Chapter 20 Series Masterlist Masterlist AO3 Join my taglist

Ari peeled her eyes open. They felt puffy and raw. She rubbed them in a futile effort to lessen the pain.

“Fuck,” she groaned, scraping her hand down her face. Two nights in a row of heavy drinking and soul crushing sobbing left her with a queasy stomach and a head that was about to explode. She sat up and grimaced at the pain in her shoulder. Oh, yeah. She’d also been shot yesterday. Fantastic.

She’d probably reopened the wound in her drunken stupor last night. She winced at the dried blood on her shirt. She pulled it aside to survey the damage. She frowned in confusion when she saw the crisp, clean bandage. That wasn’t the same bandage the medic had put on her. She stood up slowly, her head spinning. She glanced into the small trash bin and saw her bloody bandages from the day before. What the hell? Had she changed them herself? No way. She had been too drunk to do something like that. Steve had passed out long before her, so it wasn’t him.

Javi.

He must have done it when he got back from seeing his mystery woman. She ignored the stab of pain that accompanied those thoughts. She checked the time and realized she needed to get her ass moving if she was going to be of any use that day. She took a scalding hot shower and pounded two cups of coffee with a few over the counter pain meds, and she was good as new. Well, mostly. She sat heavily at her desk and dug into the never ending paperwork. At least that would temporality focus her mind on something other than Javier.

An hour later Javi and Steve stumbled in. They both looked rough. She knew Steve had drank himself into oblivion last night too, but she wasn’t sure what had Javi looking so beat down. He sat at his desk and shyly met her eyes.

“Good morning,” he said quietly.

“Good morning,” she returned. He continued to gaze at her with the saddest puppy dog eyes she had ever seen. She cleared her throat uncomfortably.

“Uh, thanks,” she said softly. His brow furrowed in confusion. “For changing my bandage.”

“Oh,” he whispered. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “Yeah, no problem.” His eyes darted to her shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

“Like my head is about to explode,” she laughed softly.

“And the shoulder?” He asked.

“About as good as you’d expect,” she answered. “Just hoping Messina doesn’t put me on desk duty.” Javi nodded in understanding. His handsome face creased in deep thought. He looked like he was trying to gather the nerve to say something.

“Can we talk?” He said finally. “Later…in private?” Ari felt her throat close up in fear. Shit, this was it. He was going to give her his decision. She couldn’t push words past the lump in her throat, so she just nodded.

“Great,” Javi sighed in relief. Ari didn’t know what to make of his reaction. Was he ending things? He had to be. She never really expected him to commit to her…but why did she get the feeling that wasn’t the way things were going. Her thoughts began to spiral and she quickly threw herself into work to keep herself from launching into a full blown panic attack.

“Morgan!” Messina called out from her office.

“Shit,” Ari swore under her breath. “Guess this is where I get benched.” She stood and reluctantly made her way into the boss’s office. Messina was sitting at her desk and looked up when Ari came in.

“Take a seat,” Messina gestured to the chair in front of her desk. Ari sat down heavily. Messina watched her carefully.

“How’s the shoulder?” She asked.

“Fine,” Ari said immediately. Messina frowned.

“I think you should take some time—” Messina began.

“—I’m fine,” Ari cut in. “I don’t need time off…or time behind a desk.”

“Agent Morgan,” Messina argued, “a gunshot injury is serious, and the DEA requires—”

“—I know what the DEA requires,” Ari cut in again, agitation clear both on her face and in her voice. “I’m fully capable of working. It’s really not that bad.” Messina sighed heavily.

“Listen,” she said quietly, “I get it. You’re tough shit. You have something to prove. Believe me, I understand better than anyone. But I can’t risk you getting injured or killed because I didn’t make you take a rest.” Ari sat back in her seat, wracked in frustration.

“Just take a couple days,” Messina insisted.

“A couple days at my desk,” Ari offered in compromise. “Not a couple days off.” Messina mulled it over for a few moments.

“Fine,” she agreed, “but only if you agree that I have final say when you can get back out into the field.” Ari nodded in agreement. She really didn’t have any other choice. Messina was in charge, and Ari had to do as she was ordered. She quickly left the office and went back to her desk.

“Well?” Steve asked. Javi looked up with hope in his beautiful brown eyes.

“Desk duty for a couple days,” Ari told them.

“Shit,” Steve swore. “Could be worse, though.”

“Yeah,” Ari agreed. “Just do me a favor and don’t let anything good come in until after I’m clear, yeah?”

“I’ll do my best,” Steve laughed.

“If you don’t go, I don’t go,” Javi said. Ari’s gaze snapped to his.

“What?” She asked.

“I’ll tell Messina, if you’re benched, I’m benched,” Javi told her.

“Hell yeah,” Steve agreed with a grin. “It’s all of us or none of us.” Javi nodded in solidarity.

“You guys can’t do that,” she argued.

“Sure we can,” Javi said with a shrug.

“That’s right,” Steve added, “we’re a team. Like the Three Musketeers.”

“More like the Three Dumbasses,” Ari laughed. She sobered up and looked at her partners. “Thanks, guys…this means a lot to me.”

“Anything for you, cariño,” Javi whispered. Ari felt butterflies flutter in her stomach. Even though she was dreading the talk with Javier, his actions made her rethink the potential outcome of that conversation.

The three of them worked in relative silence for the next few hours. Steve sat back with a sigh and tossed his pen on his desk.

“I swear to God, my eyes are bleeding from all this paperwork,” he complained. “I need food. You guys want to eat something?”

“Yes, please!” Ari groaned. “I’m starving.”

“I could eat,” Javi chimed in.

“Let’s head over to that place down the street,” Steve suggested.

“Yes!” Ari agreed immediately. There was a little restaurant near headquarters that had the best food. They all stood and grabbed their guns and badges. Ari glanced up when she heard Javi whisper something to Steve. Steve smirked and nodded once. Javi shot him a grateful smile.

“I just need a few minutes,” Steve announced. “I forgot there was something I wanted to run by Messina.” He picked a file up from his desk. “I’ll meet you guys over there in fifteen?”

“Sounds good,” Javi cut in immediately. Ari frowned. They were acting weird. Steve hustled out. Ari turned to Javi to see him looking at her expectantly.

“What’s up, Jav?” She asked.

“I, uh,” Javi anxiously rubbed the back of his neck, “I was hoping we could talk.”

“Now?” She asked.

“Yeah,” he answered. “Let’s go back to our room.” Ari could only nod and follow behind him. She felt sick to her stomach. This was it. Javi was going to end things, and her heart could not take it…but she knew it would be for the best. If he couldn’t commit to her the heartbreak would be even more painful down the road. When they reached their room he opened the door and allowed her to enter first. He closed the door behind them and leaned against it. She turned to face him, forcing her face into a neutral expression.

“Something on your mind?” She asked in an even voice.

“Yeah,” he replied. “I’ve been thinking about what you said…how I needed to make a decision.” She just nodded, not trusting her voice. “I made a decision.” Ari swallowed and braced herself for the blow.

“And?” She asked quietly.

“I want you,” Javi said simply. Ari’s heart stopped. She didn’t want to dare to hope.

“You wanting me was never a question,” she replied.

“I want more with you,” he countered. Her heart kicked into overdrive. “I don’t know if I’m even capable of more…if I have it in me to be a better man, but dammit, I want to try. I can’t promise I’ll be any good at this. My last relationship ended with her left at the altar. If you can just be patient with me, I’ll do everything I can to make you happy. I want to be the man you deserve.”

“Really?” Ari whispered.

“Yes, cariño,” Javi smiled. “Let’s do this, Ari. Be with me. For real.”

“Ok,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. He cupped her jaw and pulled her in for a kiss. It was soft and sweet. Ari sighed into it, happiness filling her heart for the first time in a long time. Javi pressed his forehead to hers.

“I’m gonna be so good to you, hermosa,” he whispered. “I promise…no more bullshit from here on out. It’s you and me, sweetheart.” Ari laughed tearily.

“Sounds good, Javi,” she whispered. She pulled back slightly and glanced at her bed. “Think we have enough time?” Javi saw where she was looking and chuckled.

“Steve is waiting for us,” he reminded her. “But I already worked it out. He’s gonna give us some space tonight after work. Give Connie a call and have a nice long talk so we have the room to ourselves for a bit.”

“Perfect,” Ari said with a smile. She kissed him once more. “Let’s go. I’m starving.” They ducked out of their room and made their way out front. Steve stood there waiting for them, a cigarette in his hand.

“Well?” He asked Javi. Javi nodded. Steve’s smile was huge.

“Woo!” he shouted. He hugged Ari around the waist, picked her up, and swung them around in a circle.

“Put me down, you lunatic!” She shouted with a laugh. He set her down and stepped back.

“Sorry,” he told her. “But it’s about damn time.” He slapped Javi on the back. “Congrats, man. Don’t fuck it up.”

“I’m gonna do everything I can not to,” he told Steve.

“Good,” Steve said. “Now, let’s go get some grub.” They enjoyed a long lunch before heading back to the Holguín. Steve teased them for a bit, but they could tell he was genuinely happy for them. The rest of the day flew by in a blissful blur. Ari was floating. A huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Every time she locked eyes with Javi she couldn’t help but smile. He always returned it with one of his own. She could see the lightness in his own shoulders, the softening around his eyes. This decision had taken a lot of stress off of him too.

When it was finally time to call it quits for the day, Ari hurried to file away all her reports. She couldn’t wait to get Javi alone. Steve smirked as his partners both rushed to end their day.

“In a bit of a hurry, guys?” He teased.

“Fuck yeah,” Javi smirked. A giggle escaped Ari.

“Ready for the day to be done,” she said with a casual shrug. Steve laughed.

“Sure…sure,” he said with a smile. “‘Ready for the day to be done’…I’m sure that’s they only reason you’re about to high tail it outta here like your ass is on fire.” He glanced at his watch. “Hmm, think I’ll give Connie a call. Check in on her and the baby.” Javi laughed at Steve’s obvious attempt to play off giving them alone time.

“Tell her we said hi,” he told him before grabbing Ari’s hand and practically dragging her from the room.

“Javier!” She scolded quietly. She glanced down at their joined hands.

“Shit,” he swore and dropped her hand. “Sorry. Guess I got too excited.”

“Me too,” she admitted. “It’s been too long.”

“Fuck, yeah it has,” he agreed. It had been weeks since the last time they were together…when Ari confessed her love. Javi guided her into their room and locked the door. He turned to see her watching him.

“What?” He asked quietly. “You’re looking at me funny.”

“Just admiring the view,” she replied. “I can’t believe you’re mine.” Javi’s face softened at her confession.

“Yeah, baby, I’m yours,” he whispered and kissed her softly. He backed her up towards her bed. He reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled back from her lips to lift it over her head. She winced slightly from the wound in her shoulder.

“I need to take it easy on you tonight, hermosa,” Javi said with a nod towards her injury.

“I’m fine, Javi,” Ari assured him.

“I know you’re tough, Ari,” he said softly, “but I don’t want to hurt you, so we do this my way. Got it?” Ari nodded. She didn’t care what kind of sex they had, she just needed him. He kissed her again as he unhooked her bra. It slid down her arms and floated to the floor. Her hands came up to unbutton his shirt. He shucked it off without breaking the kiss. Their pants were removed in record time.

“No panties?” Javi asked with a cocked eyebrow.

“Just taking a page outta your book, Peña,” she panted and pulled him back in for another deep kiss. He plunged his tongue into her mouth and gripped her ass in both hands. He lifted her slightly and laid her down on the bed. When his hot naked skin touched hers completely she sighed in ecstasy.

“Fuck,” she moaned. “I love the way you feel on top of me.”

“Believe me, hermosa,” he groaned, “the feeling is mutual.” He kissed her neck and hugged her closer. “I wish I could take my time and worship you like you deserve, but Steve will be back soon.”

“It’s ok, Javi,” Ari whispered. “I need you. We’ll find time later. Just fuck me, please.” He reached down and ran his fingers through her wet center.

“You’re not kidding about needing me, cariño,” he smirked. “You’re already dripping.” He wasted no time in lining himself up and gently pushing into her warm body.

“Finally,” she sighed. He chuckled softly and began to rock in and out slowly. He pressed in and ground his pelvic bone against her clit.

“Shit,” she swore, “don’t stop doing that.”

“I’m not stopping until you come, Ariana,” Javi assured her. He kept at it for several minutes, working her up into a frenzy. The pressure building inside her was too much. She needed this release. Javi captured her mouth in a hot, passionate kiss as he ground himself against her hard, and she exploded. It was intense. She cried out and Javi buried his face in her neck. He switched from the rocking motion to deep, hard thrusts. He was chasing his own orgasm now. It didn’t take long before he swore loudly and pushed himself as deep as he could go. He groaned and filled her. Ari was still dazed and coming down from her own high.

“Fuck,” Javi whispered hoarsely. “That was incredible.”

“Mmm,” Ari agreed sleepily. That release had been cathartic. All of the stress and uncertainty that had always surrounded her relationship with Javi had melted away. He was hers and she was his. That was all that mattered now.

“We better get cleaned up before I fall asleep and Steve comes back and gets traumatized,” Ari laughed.

“Good idea,” Javi agreed. “I love Steve like my brother, but if he sees you naked, I might kill him.” Ari snorted.

“Ok, tough guy,” she replied, “let’s get dressed then. Don’t need to be cleaning up a crime scene tonight.” Javi grabbed some tissues and helped Ari clean up the mess between her thighs as best they could. They both pulled on sweat pants and T-shirts and settled into their own beds. They lay on their side facing each other.

“I’m really happy,” Ari said quietly.

“Me too,” Javi immediately replied. “I’m glad I finally got my head out of my ass before it was too late.” Ari smiled softly.

“Me too,” she said. “Good night, Javi.”

“Goodnight, Ari,” he returned with a warm smile. It didn’t take long for either of them to fall asleep. Great sex and the comfort of being close to the one they cared for did wonders for their stress levels, and they drifted off with smiles on their faces.

The next couple weeks passed in a blur of successful raids and an intense level of intimacy Javi had never known. Steve made sure to give them time alone in the bunk as often as possible, so they were having sex nearly every day. Javi was in heaven. He always thought being in a relationship would be impossible for him, but he was proving to be a much better boyfriend than he initially thought.

It was nothing like when he was with Lorraine. There was no drama with Ari. She was easy going and made him feel good. He couldn’t wait to be around her. He found himself thinking of things he could do throughout the day to show her how much she meant to him. She often found fresh coffee, her favorite foods, or a rose left for her ‘anonymously’. She would pick it up and shoot him a sly smile. Javi’s heart always warmed to see how happy she was. He was doing that. He was the one putting that smile on her face and sparkle in her eye.

Besides his new relationship, work was going extremely well. Ari had been cleared after a week of desk duty. Carrillo took a no bullshit attitude when it came to Escobar. Search Bloc and the DEA raided several of Pablo’s facilities. It was violent and bloody, but it was effective.

The only snag was one night after raiding a pool hall. Steve got separated and lost and ended up in a shady area. Thankfully, Javi and Ari found him before any harm could come to him. Messina had been hinting to them that they might get sidelined. People were not happy with Carrillo’s methods, and the Ambassador didn’t want the DEA caught up in any bad press.

She had called him earlier that day to let him know—for the time being—they needed to stay on base. They needed to clear it with her if they wanted to go off base. Javi scoffed mentally. It was bullshit. He was tired of playing politics. He wanted to catch Escobar and end this. He sat at his desk, filling out yet another report when the phone rang. He glanced up and noticed Ari and Steve weren’t around. He picked up the phone.

“Peña,” he said.

“Javi, soy Gabriela,” (Javi, it’s Gabriela) Gabby said breathily.

“¿Algo pasa?” (What’s up?) Javi replied quietly, looking around. He hadn’t seen or spoken to Gabby since the night he made his decision about Ari.

“Hace rato no te veo y quería verte,” (It’s been awhile, and I want to see you.) she told him.

“¿Ahora?” (Now?) Javi asked, looking at his watch. “Pues no puedo ahorita, estoy trabajando.” (I can’t right now, I’m working.)

“No te portes así conmigo,” (Don’t be like that with me.) Gabby begged. Javi smirked and looked around just as Steve walked in. He knew he needed to tell Gabby he wasn’t available to her anymore. He felt he owed it to her to tell her face to face.

“Dame…veinte minutos, ¿sí?” (Give me…twenty minutes, alright?) Javi told her and then hung up.

“You get the same lecture from Messina about not leaving base?” Steve asked him.

“Yeah,” Javi answered, his mind on how he was going to word his goodbye to Gabby. He quickly typed the last few lines of the report he was working on.

“Crosby must’ve really laid into her on that one,” Steve said. Javi stood and pulled the paper out of the typewriter. He shoved it into a file and quickly stubbed out his cigarette. He grabbed his gun from his desk and picked up the files. Steve watched him in silence as he grabbed his coat.

“Where you going?” He asked Javi.

“Off base,” he called out as he left.

“Okay, I guess it means, ‘fuck that’,” Steve mumbled and shook his head.

As Javi approached Gabby’s apartment, he psyched himself up for what he needed to say. He didn’t want to be a dick and hurt her, but she needed to understand whatever they had between them was done. He had felt her getting more attached to him than the girls usually do—just like Helena. He swallowed through the lump in his throat as images of the last time he saw Helena flashed through his mind. He shook it off and knocked on the door. As soon as Gabby opened it, she was on him. She pressed her lips to his. He gently pulled her away and closed the door.

“Necesitamos hablar,” (We need to talk) Javi told her. She kissed him again and pushed him up against the wall.

“Espera,” (Wait) he murmured, breaking the kiss once more. Her hands and lips on him felt so wrong, and his heart pounded in fear at crossing the line and hurting Ari. Just then he noticed another woman sitting on Gabby’s bed.

“Hola,” he said quietly, confused as to what was going on.

“Buenas,” the woman replied.

“Ella es una amiga de un amigo,” (She’s a friend of a friend) Gabby explained. “Maritza, te presento a Javier.” (Maritza meet Javier.)

“¿Y…por qué me estás presentando a una amiga de un amigo?” (And…why are you introducing me to a friend of a friend?) Javi asked with trepidation. Did she expect him to fuck her and her friend? Jesus, he needed to get out of here. He wasn’t this man anymore.

“Está en problemas,” (She’s in trouble) Gabby explained. Javi felt relief and then immediate frustration. Javi rubbed his eyebrow, agitated. “Solo escúchala.” (Just hear her out.) Javi sighed heavily.

“Chingada Madre, Gabi,” (Motherfucker, Gabby) Javi practically growled. “Me lo hubieras dicho por teléfono, no?” (You could have told me this over the phone, no?)

“Sabía que no vendrías,” (I knew you wouldn’t come) Gabby told him.

“Me voy,” (I’m leaving) Javi said irritated. He raised his hand towards Maritza. “¡Chao!”

“No, no,” Gabby said, stopping him from leaving. “Espérate. Es importante.” (Wait. It’s important.) She cupped his face gently. “Por favor. Escúchala.” (Please. Hear her out.) Javi pulled her hands off his face. He didn’t want her to touch him anymore. He’d hear this girl out, tell Gabby it was over, and get the fuck back to headquarters. Then he was gonna pull Ari into the nearest closet and fuck her stupid. He walked over to the chair next to the bed and took a seat.

“¿Cómo te llamas? Maritza?” (What’s your name? Maritza?) he asked. She nodded and he lit a cigarette. “Qué significa que estás en problemas? ¿Problemas con quien?” (What kind of trouble are you in? Who are you in trouble with?)

“La Quica,” Maritza replied.

“La Quica,” Javi repeated. “¿Conoces a La Quica?” (You know La Quica?) Maritza paused and looked at him for a moment.

“Quiere matarme,” (He wants to kill me) she answered.

“Bueno…” (Well…) Javi said, sitting back and crossing his legs nonchalantly. He really didn’t have time for this bullshit. “La Quica quiere matar a mucho gente.” (La Quica wants to kill a lot of people.) He took a drag of his cigarette and watched her closely. “¿Por qué te quiere matar a ti?” (Why does he want to kill you?)

“Porque puedo decirle dónde está Pablo Escobar,” (Because I can tell you where Pablo Escobar is) she told him. Javi looked at Gabby in shock, then back at Maritza. This girl better not be lying to him.

“¿Y cómo vas a hacer eso?” (And how are you going to do that?) He asked.

“Yo sé exactamente dónde va a estar mañana y a qué hora,” (I know exactly when and where he will be tomorrow) she replied. Javi inhaled deeply. If this girl wasn’t completely full of shit, they would have Escobar in less than twenty-four hours. Fuck. This was incredible. He stayed an hour, getting all the info he could from Maritza. He needed to get back the headquarters and tell Carrillo what he knew, but there was one more thing to take care of. He needed to tell Gabby about Ari. As soon as Maritza left, Gabby linked her arms around Javi’s neck. She tried to press her lips to his, but he pulled back. He gently removed her arms as her mouth chased his.

“¿Qué pasa?” (What’s the matter?) She asked him.

“Nosotros necesitamos hablar,” (We need to talk) Javi told her. “Ya no podemos hacer esto.” (We can’t do this anymore.)

“¿Por que no?” (Why not?) Gabby asked, a frown marring her beautiful face.

“Hay alguien... una mujer con la que he estado saliendo,” (There’s someone…a woman I’ve been seeing) he began. “Me comprometí con ella y tengo la intención de cumplirlo.” (I’ve made a commitment to her, and I intend to honor it.)

“Ari?” Gabby asked. Javi’s jaw slackened in surprise.

“¿Cómo sabes acerca de Ari?” (How do you know about Ari?) he asked.

“La última vez que estuvimos juntos, gritaste su nombre,” (The last time we were together, you called out her name) she told him.

“¿Hice?” (I did?) he asked quietly.

“Sí,” Gabby replied. “Me sorprendió. El amor no correspondido no parece algo con lo que lidiarías.” (I was surprised. Unrequited love doesn't seem like something you would deal with.)

“No es así...” (It’s not like that…) Javi began. He quickly cut himself off. He didn’t owe her any further details about Ari. “No importa. Estoy con ella ahora. ya no puedo verte.” (It doesn't matter. I'm with her now. I can't see you anymore.)

“Ok, Javi,” Gabby said. Sadness crept over her features. “Te deseo lo mejor. Y espero que ella te haga feliz.” (I wish you the best. And I hope she makes you happy.)

“Ella hace,” (She does) Javi said immediately.

“Cuídate,” (Take care) she said and pressed a final kiss to his cheek.

“Tú también,” (You too) Javi whispered. He quickly left. He needed to get this information to Carrillo immediately.

Ari glanced up from her desk when she saw Javi rushing into headquarters.

“Where have you been?” She called out to him.

“Got a tip!” He replied. He passed by them to head straight to Carrillo’s office. Ari turned her attention to Steve.

“Must be good,” he muttered.

“Let’s go find out,” Ari insisted. They pushed back from their desks and followed Javi to Carrillo’s office. Before they could even enter he called out to them.

“Princesa! Murphy!” He shouted. “Grab Trujillo and meet us in the briefing room.” Ari nodded to him and the two of them changed course to get Trujillo. Ten minutes later they were all set up and heard Javi and Carrillo walking quickly their way.

“Her name is Maritza Rincón,” Javi was telling Carrillo as he handed him a picture of Maritza. “She works at the market across from the brothel where the girls were killed. Where we almost had La Quica and the other guy…” He handed over another picture. “Jhon Burgos. Goes by ‘Limón’. He used to drive the girls around until La Quica made him Escobar’s chauffeur. This girl, Maritza, was actually in the back seat serving as a cover while Escobar was in the fucking trunk.” Ari smirked at the image of her father hiding in the trunk of a taxi. It was genius, but so demeaning for a man of power.

“And he knows her how?” Carrillo asked.

“They grew up together here,” Javi answered. Carrillo scoffed softly. They walked into the small office where Ari, Steve, and Trujillo were waiting for them.

“So this guy, Limón,” Carrillo said, “there’s no record of him. There’s no known connection between him and Escobar, yet somehow he ends up the driver.”

“Makes sense for La Quica to hire someone the police didn’t know about,” Steve spoke up. “What does she want out of this? A ticket to Disneyland?”

“She knows she doesn’t get shit if it doesn’t pan out,” Javi replied.

“Si es verdad, ella nos puede decir cuando Limón vaya con Escobar a algún lado,” (If this is true, she can tell us when Limón and Escobar go somewhere) Trujillo interjected. Carrillo twisted his lips, mulling over the information. He looked to Javi.

“You were there,” Carrillo said. “You trust her?” Everyone turned to look at Javi. Ari flinched slightly at Carrillo’s words. You trust her? Her. Was Javi still meeting with prostitutes. He claimed he had stopped ever since he committed to her…but had he really? Javi wanted to bring down Escobar more than anything. Would he jeopardize what they had to win this war?

“Yeah,” Javi said softly. “Yeah I do.” Carrillo stayed quiet. It was clear he was weighing the options.

“When we get the location, I want Centra Spike up in the air to confirm,” he told them. He turned to Trujillo. “Vamos.” (Let’s go) The two left the office.

“Alright,” Javi said. “This is good.”

“Let’s go,” Steve said, excited. Ari got close to Javi for the first time since he’d returned. Her stomach roiled when she breathed him in. Vanilla. That was the exact way he always smelled when he came back from seeing his mystery woman. Fuck. What the hell had he done to get this information?

“You gonna wait for the call?” Steve asked him as they approached their desks.

“Yeah,” Javi said. “Not much else to do until we can confirm it all.” The three of them took their seats and tried to keep themselves busy waiting for Maritza to call. Ari kept glancing at the file on Javi’s desk. Maritza’s photo lay there, taunting her. Was this the woman Javi had been sleeping with? Was Maritza the one he turned to instead of her? Her thoughts were eating her alive. She stood quickly. She had to get out of there before she lost her shit.

“Where you going?” Steve asked, startled by her sudden movement.

“I…uh, I gotta do something more productive,” she muttered. “The suspense is killing me.” She turned to leave.

“Cariño,” Javi said softly. She faced him slowly. “You alright?”

“Yeah, fine, great,” she replied quickly and took off. Ari sought out the only other person she could talk to. She breezed into Carrillo’s office and sat down heavily in the chair in front of his desk. He was sitting behind the desk, writing something.

“Everything alright, princesa?” He asked, concern heavy in voice.

“Yes—no…I don’t know,” she sighed. He set his pen down and stood. He walked over and sat in the chair next to her.

“Talk to me,” he insisted.

“It’s probably nothing,” she brushed off. “I’m just being dramatic.”

“Ariana, you are the least dramatic person I know,” he chided. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Javi,” she admitted. “You know we’ve been giving this a chance.” Carrillo nodded. She had confided in him the day after Javi made his commitment. Carrillo was thrilled that she was finally being treated the way she deserved. “It’s been great…amazing. But today, something is off.” Carrillo took her hand in his.

“How so?” He asked.

“The information that Javi got today,” she explained. “When he came back with it he smelled like vanilla. That’s the way he always smelled after visiting the woman he had been seeing since they moved us to Medellín.”

“You think he went to see her?” Carrillo asked with a scowl.

“I think maybe she’s the one who gave up the tip,” Ari replied.

“Maritza Rincón?” Ari nodded.

“It makes sense, right?” Ari asked. “Why else would he say he trusts her? He’s spent countless hours with her—intimate hours.”

“And why does this trouble you?” Carrillo pressed. “He could have just been there for information.”

“I know,” Ari said guiltily. “And I feel like shit for doubting him, but what if it wasn’t just an innocent meeting?”

“Ask him,” Carrillo said simply. “Peña has never lied to you. I doubt he’ll start now.”

“I’m not sure if I want the answer,” Ari whispered, worrying her lip between her teeth.

“Yes, you do, princesa,” Carrillo said softly. He cupped her face. “I know you. This will tear you up inside. Talk to Peña. He’s an idiot, but I don’t think even he is stupid enough to fuck this up now that he has you.” Ari laughed tearily.

“Thanks, Horacio,” she said softly. They sat quietly for a few moments. “So…we may actually get Escobar tomorrow.”

“I hope so,” Carrillo replied. “I’m ready to be done with this.”

“Me too,” Ari agreed.

“If this pans out, I want you by my side when we take him down,” Carrillo told her.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” Ari answered with a smile. “I‘ll let you get back to work. Thanks for talking me off the ledge.”

“Anytime,” Carrillo returned her smile. She left his office feeling a bit lighter. She didn’t want to doubt Javi’s loyalty. She would talk to him once everything settled down.

The next day Escobar was preparing his men for their next move.

“¿Todo está listo para esta noche?” (Everything is set for tonight?) Escobar asked Velasco.

“Sí, patrón,” Velasco replied.

“Y mi hija… ¿definitivamente no estará con ellos?” (And my daughter…she definitely won’t be with them?) Escobar asked. He absolutely refused to move forward with he plan if there was any chance Ariana would be involved.

“Ella no estará allí,” (She won’t be there) he assured him. “Nuestro contacto dijo que a la DEA ya no se le permite salir a las redadas con Carrillo. El embajador no quiere la reacción violenta de su mierda.” (Our contact said the DEA is no longer allowed out on raids with Carrillo. The ambassador doesn’t want the backlash from his bullshit.)

“Bueno,” (Good) Escobar said softly. “No quiero ponerla en peligro. Si algo cambia, si hay incluso un susurro de posibilidad de que Ariana esté allí, nos retiramos. ¿Comprendido?” (I don’t want to put her in danger. If something changes—if there’s even a whisper of a chance Ariana will be there, we pull out. Understood?) Velasco nodded. “Quiero deshacerme de Carrillo, pero no a costa de mi hija.” (I want to get rid of Carrillo, but not at the expense of my daughter.)

“Nos encargaremos de eso, patrón,” (We’ll take care of it, boss) Velasco said. “Ari no saldrá lastimado. Y finalmente nos desharemos de esa escoria.” (Ari won’t be hurt. And we’ll finally get rid of that scum.) Escobar nodded.

“Vamos,” (Let’s go) he ordered.

Alternate version of the rest of the chapter available here

Messina arrived from Bogotá just before the call came through. Carrillo, Messina, Peña, Murphy, Ari, and Jacoby gathered together to hear the recording.

“This was recorded about five minutes ago,” Jacoby said. A garbled mess came through the radio.

“You can barely fucking hear it,” Javi growled angrily.

“Alright,” Jacoby said calmly, “let me clean it up.” He messed around a bit and then played it again.

“Bien. Apaguen los teléfonos satelitales.” (Alright. Now turn off the satellite phones.)

They all looked at each other in shock. Steve threw his hands up.

“That’s Pablo,” Javi said.

“We have to move now,” Carrillo said urgently.

“Yeah,” Javi agreed. They all moved, but Messina’s words stopped them.

“You three are staying here,” she told the DEA agents.

“Now, you gotta be fucking kidding me,” Javi spat.

“Crosby finds out you went on another raid, we all get a ticket home,” Messina warned.

“Crosby doesn’t have to know shit,” Steve argued. Messina stood.

“It’s not negotiable,” Messina declared. “Crosby does not want any Americans associated with the actions of Colonel Carrillo at this time.” Carrillo looked at each of them. His eyes made contact with Ari.

“Agent Morgan can come with us,” he told Messina, eyes still locked on Ari.

“Excuse me?” Messina scoffed.

“Ariana is also a Colombian citizen,” he replied. He turned his attention to Messina. “She doesn’t have to hold to the same restrictions as other Americans.”

“If she doesn’t want to piss off the Ambassador and get sent home she does,” Messina argued.

“She won’t be going as an American DEA agent,” Carrillo countered. “She’d be in my gear. A Colombian doing her duty to her country.” He paused and looked back at Ari. “If anything goes sideways, they won’t be any record of the DEA there.”

“This is a slippery slope,” Messina warned. She turned to Ari. “The possible blowback is beyond my control.” Carrillo stepped in front of Ari.

“The decision is yours,” he said softly. “I know how badly you want this. But I understand if you aren’t willing to risk everything you’ve worked for.” Ari looked to Javi and Steve.

“It’s alright, Ari,” Steve assured her. They all wanted to be there, but they’d be happy to have at least one of them able to participate. Her gaze met Javi’s. He looked terrified. She knew he hated when they were separated in dangerous situations. She wanted this. God damn it, she wanted this. But Steve and Javi had always stuck by her side, and she would do the same for them. All or none.

“I’m staying here,” she told Carrillo.

“Alright, princesa,” he murmured. “I will see you when it is all over.” Ari nodded. As Carrillo turned, she grabbed him and threw her arms around his neck. She hugged him tightly.

“Be safe,” she pleaded. She pulled back slightly. “Now, go get that motherfucker.” Carrillo smiled.

“See you soon, princesa,” he said. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled out of her embrace.

“We’ll be in radio contact,” he told them before leaving.

“Jesus,” Javi muttered. His frustration was palpable. They all wanted to be there, but once again, their hands were tied. Within minutes the CNP was mobile and Trujillo was keeping them updated via radio.

“Vamos por San Juan,” (We’re on San Juan) Trujillo called through the radio.

“Copy that,” Steve responded. “Watch your six, guys.” He paused a moment. “How’s it looking out there?”

“Todo está tranquilo,” (Everything’s calm) Trujillo replied. “Murphy, esta noche los tragos los pagas tú.” (Murphy, you’re buying the drinks tonight.) Steve chuckled.

“You cheap bastards,” he joked. “Don’t forget to pick me, Peña, and Ari up some cigars on the way.”

“¿Cómo no, rubio?” (Of course, blondie.) Trujillo laughed. Suddenly the sounds of an explosion burst from the radio. The DEA agents looked at each other in fear.

“¡Es una emboscada!” (It’s an ambush!) Trujillo shouted into the radio. Javi grabbed the radio from Steve.

“¡Carrillo, conteste!” (Carrillo, respond!) Javi called in a panic. “¡Carrillo! ¡Trujillo! ¿Me copian?” (Do you copy?) The only answer was gunfire.

“What the fuck is happening?” Ari yelled.

“Goddamnit,” Steve yelled into the radio, “speak to me, Trujillo!” He turned to Messina. “We need fuckin people in there!” He whispered angrily.

“Carrillo!” Javi called once more. They got no response. “Fuck!”

“We need to get out there!” Ari gasped. Her heart was pounding in her ears. What the fuck had happened? She felt the familiar tingle of a panic attack and quickly took calming breaths. She couldn’t lose it now. She needed to get to Carrillo.

As soon as they arrived on scene, Javi knew there was no hope. It was a fucking massacre. Ari dashed out of the car as soon as Steve stopped.

“Horacio!” She yelled. Her head flew from side to side, her eyes scanning the carnage looking for her best friend. “Horacio!” She ran forward through the wreckage.

“Ari! Wait!” Steve shouted. Javi and Steve rushed after her, guns drawn. They had no idea if Escobar’s men were still around. This could be another ambush. Ari ignored them and continued looking for her friend.

“Horacio!” She shouted desperately. “Fuck! Answer me!” Steve and Javi skidded to a stop as they caught up to her. “Where is he?” She pleaded with them. Javi’s heart broke at the panic in her eyes. They heard a groan coming from the truck next to them. Steve carefully peered in. He pulled back and wrenched the door open.

“Trujillo!” He half yelled in a panic.

“Shit!” Javi swore and hurried to help Steve pull their friend from the vehicle.

“Are you alright? What the hell happened, man?” Steve asked Trujillo once they had him out and on the pavement. They propped him up against the side of the truck. They all crouched down beside him. He was bleeding from a gunshot wound to the shoulder. Steve put pressure on it.

“It was an ambush,” Trujillo told them. “We never stood a chance.”

“Where’s Carrillo?” Ari asked him, her voice raspy with fear. Trujillo looked at her for a long, silent moment. He swallowed and pointed behind them. Ari’s head snapped around, her eyes frantically darting about looking for the colonel. When she spotted him a small, wounded sound escaped her lips. Javi flinched at the amount of pain in that one little noise. She stood up and stumbled forward.

“Horacio?” She called out quietly. It was such a shift from her previous frantic yelling. It was as if she was afraid…like if he didn’t answer she could blame it on her lower voice, not the fact that he could no longer answer anyone. Javi followed behind her. Steve opted to stay with Trujillo. After a few steps Javi saw Carrillo. He was lying in the middle of the road, on his back, and he wasn’t moving.

“Ari, wait,” Javi tried to stop her. He didn’t want her to have to see her best friend like this. “Ari! Stop!” She didn’t listen. She kept moving forward, her eyes glued to Carrillo’s still form.

“Horacio?” She whispered when she reached him. She dropped down to her knees and reached towards him tentatively. Javi stood beside her. Carrillo was riddled with bullets, but it was the wounds in his head that made it obvious he was already gone.

“Horacio,” Ari choked out. She began to shake him, as if she could rouse him from his eternal slumber. “Horacio, please…open your eyes.”

“Ari,” Javi said softly. He knelt down next to her. “He’s gone, cariño.” He gently grasped her shoulders from behind. She shook him off angrily.

“No!” Ari shouted. “No, he can’t be. Horacio!” She grabbed the colonel’s shoulders and shook him harder. “Dammit! Don’t fucking do this to me! Horacio!” Her eyes passed over his still features.

“Horacio,” she whispered brokenly. “Come back…please, come back.” Her voice cracked on the last word and she collapsed against his chest. Her body wracked with violent sobs. Between sobs Javi heard her brokenly chanting ‘come back’ while she gently shook Carrillo’s body.

“Ari—” Javi choked. His heart clenched at the deep, soul wrenching pain radiating off the woman he loved. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to take this pain from her, but he couldn’t. He was helpless to watch as she shattered completely. He gently rubbed her back and stroked her hair as she cried. He saw Steve and Trujillo approach in his peripheral.

“Shit,” Steve swore quietly. He hovered slightly over Ari. He was at just as much of a loss as Javi about what to do in the moment. Javi glanced up to see Steve’s eyes were just as glossy as his own. They grieved their friend, but it hit them harder to see Ari so broken. She was a warrior—the strongest woman they knew. They didn’t know what to do.

“It was Escobar,” Trujillo said in a low voice. Javi and Steve’s heads snapped to him. “Pablo shot him.” Ari suddenly went very still.

“Escobar pulled the trigger?” Ari asked in a watery voice.

“Yes,” Trujillo answered. Ari’s tortured, tear streaked face lifted to theirs.

“How the fuck am I supposed to—“ she paused and took a breath. She turned back to Carrillo and caressed the side of his face. “My father did this to him.” She choked on a sob. “He didn’t send out an order…he pulled the trigger himself. My father murdered my best friend.” Javi knew Ari had always kept up walls in her mind when it came to Escobar. It was impossible for her to navigate the complicated web that was having Escobar as her father.

He suspected it was easier in her mind to focus on the fact that most of the evil deeds were never directly done by Escobar himself. He gave the orders—which still made him evil—but he didn’t actually commit any of the crimes. There was a barrier there—a kind of imaginary shield between him and the horrors that were being done. He wondered if Ari kept up that illusion to ease her mind, and made it seem like the man that had sired her wasn’t quite as evil as they all thought. But this…well, there was no deluding anyone about this. Escobar hadn’t just ordered this ambush. He had participated. He had murdered Carrillo. Ari couldn’t gloss over this fact in her mind, no matter how hard she tried. Javi hated that she was being put through this. He gently cupped her face.

“That man is not your father, Ariana,” he said in a soft, but firm voice. “He is a sperm donor and a monster. Never your father.” He searched her eyes, praying his words would penetrate her grief. He rubbed his thumb across her cheek bone. They heard sirens approaching in the distance. She pulled away from Javi’s hands and rested her head against Carrillo’s chest.

“I’m sorry, Horacio,” she whispered brokenly. “I should have come with you…maybe I could have changed this outcome somehow…” She trailed off and broke down crying once more. Javi knelt next to her feeling completely helpless. Backup arrived and chaos ensued. Trujillo was pulled away by a medic to take care of his gunshot wound. Steve and Javi tried to help the authorities make some sense of the mess. Javi’s attention kept pulling back to Ari.

She hadn’t moved or spoken since her whispered apology to her best friend. She still lay on his chest. At first he could still see her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs, but now, she was still. If it wasn’t for the slight rise and fall of her chest with each breath he would think she was dead right along side Carrillo. Hell, maybe she was. Not physically, but in every way that mattered. His girl was just a shell of herself right now.

Every time someone made their way towards her, Javi intervened and told them to give her some more time. He was trying to allow her as long as possible to say goodbye, but he knew her time was running out. The other bodies had been cleared, and they needed to transport Carrillo’s body to Bogotá.

“We gotta move him soon,” Steve said quietly. “They’re not gonna wait much longer.” He nodded his head towards the men tasked with transporting the colonel’s body.

“I know,” Javi said. “Fuck.” He clenched his jaw in determination. “I’ll tell her.”

“I’m right behind you,” Steve assured him. They cautiously approached Ari and knelt down beside her.

“Ari,” Javi said softly. He placed his hand on her back and rubbed it soothingly. “It’s time to go.” She didn’t respond. “Baby, they need to take Carrillo now.” Her fingers tightened on Carrillo’s shirt. Her eyes squeezed shut and a single tear trailed down her cheek. A small, agonized whimper escaped her mouth.

Javi had only cried once since he became a man—when his mother died. But that sound that just came out of the woman he loved had him blinking back tears. It would have sent him to his knees if he wasn’t already there.

“Sweetheart,” he choked out, “please, I know you don’t want to, but you have to let him go.” Ari still didn’t respond. He placed his hand over hers. She was still gripping Carrillo’s shirt tightly. “It’s alright, baby, just let go…it’ll be ok.” He put a little pressure on her fingers, hoping she would loosen her grip. Her hand clenched as she tightened her fingers more.

“Ari,” Steve cut in quietly. “They’ve waited as long as they could. They need to take him now.” Javi felt anger surge in his chest. She needed more time. Couldn’t these assholes wait a little longer? He glanced up to see the paramedics waiting patiently with the gurney. The look on their faces said it all. They didn’t want this. They weren’t assholes. They didn’t want to pull Ari away from Carrillo anymore than Javi and Steve did. They were just doing their job…and they had more than generous in allowing Ari her time to grieve. Javi nodded to them once in understanding.

“Alright, hermosa,” he said in a much stronger voice than he thought he was capable of at the moment. “It’s time to go.” He gripped her shoulders tight and pulled her back.

“No!” Ari whimpered, pushing against his hold, trying to stay with Carrillo.

“No, Ari,” he said sternly. “You have to let go.” He glanced at Steve to help. Steve pried her fingers open as Javi held her back. Once her grip was loose, they both dragged her back from his body.

“No!” She shouted. “Stop, please!” She was sobbing uncontrollably. She thrashed in their arms, trying desperately to get back to Carrillo.

“I can’t just leave him here…please, let me go,” she begged.

“I can’t do that, cariño,” Javi said softly. “They need to take him.”

“I can’t leave him here like this,” Ari sobbed. Javi hauled her to her feet and hugged her back against his chest. He held her tightly, his arms banded across her chest and low on her waist. He dipped his head down to her ear.

“We’re not leaving him here, Ari,” Javi whispered. “They’re taking him home. They’re taking him back to Juliana.”

“They are?” She whispered. He nodded against her head.

“Yeah, baby,” he assured her. “He’s going home…it’s alright. He’s not going to be alone.” Ari bit her lip as tears leaked from her eyes. She nodded.

“Ok,” she croaked out. “Ok.” The three of them stood in silence as they loaded up Carrillo’s body on the gurney.

“I’ll go back to Bogotá with the body until the funeral,” Steve told them.

“No, I’m going,” Ari argued.

“Not tonight, Ari,” Steve told her. Ari was already shaking her head.

“I’m going with him.” She insisted.

“You’re in no condition to deal with this, Ari,” Steve said firmly. “They said only one of us can accompany him, and there is no way in hell you should be alone right now.”

“Agent Morgan?” One of the paramedics approached them cautiously.

“What?” Javi barked at the poor woman.

“Officer Trujillo sent me over,” she said in heavily accented English. “He wanted me to look over Agent Morgan.” Ari stood numbly watching Carrillo. Javi nodded and watched as they paramedic gently led Ari to a nearby ambulance. She sat her on the open back and began checking her vitals. Steve lit a cigarette.

“Steve,” Javi said, “Maybe we should let her go.” Steve cut him a look.

“You really think she needs to be sitting with her best friend’s body for the next few hours, Jav?” Steve asked him quietly. “She doesn’t need that shit right now. She needs you.” Javi nodded.

“You’re right,” Javi replied. “You go with Carrillo. I’ll take care of our girl.” Javi stared at Carrillo’s body. They were loading him into the ambulance to transport him to the airport.

“They call his wife?” Javi asked in a raspy voice. Steve tossed his cigarette.

“Yeah,” he said, “she’s on her way from Madrid.” He turned his back on the scene. “This ain’t on you, Javi. It’s on Escobar. And one way or another, he pays.”

“We all do,” Javi said softly. “Right?” Steve didn’t respond and got into the ambulance with Carrillo. Javi heard a commotion behind him. Ari was pushing the paramedic off her and running towards Carrillo.

“Ari, stop!” He called out and grabbed her as she passed him.

“Where’s he going?” Ari asked. “I told him I was going with Carrillo.”

“Steve’s gonna take care of it tonight,” Javi told her.

“No,” she whimpered. “I need to be with him.”

“That’s not him, cariño,” Javi said gently. “Not anymore. It’s just his shell.”

“But…” Ari trailed off, not sure what to say, the fight going out of her.

“It’s ok, amor,” Javi whispered. He hugged her tight to his chest. “Let’s get out of here.” Ari nodded numbly. Javi led her back to their truck and helped her in. He buckled her seat belt and went around the driver’s side. She was quiet the whole ride back to headquarters. She just stared out the window. He walked her through the building, ignoring the looks of everyone they passed. Once they were safely inside their room he carefully undressed her down to her panties and bra and tossed her clothes in a pile for trash—they were covered in Carrillo’s blood.

“Do you want to shower?” He asked her quietly. She didn’t respond. He grabbed some tissues and cleaned the smears of blood on her hands and face the best he could. He grabbed one of his t-shirts and pulled it over her head. He sat her on the edge of her bed and crouched down in front of her.

“Ari?” He asked, trying to catch her eyes with his own. He grasped her hands. “Ari, baby, look at me, please.” No response.

“Fuck…I’m so sorry, cariño,” he whispered. “This is all my fault.” Ari’s eyes were unfocused, faraway. Nothing he said was getting through to her. She was lost in her grief, a thousand miles away. Javi lifted her hands to his mouth and kissed them. He let go and stood up. He watched her for a moment, unsure of what to do. Finally he decided to lay her down on the bed and let her rest. He pulled the blanket up to her shoulders and kissed her gently on the lips.

“I’m right here if you need me,” he whispered. He sat at the desk near her bed and poured a glass of whiskey. Ari rolled to her side, facing away from him. Javi lit a cigarette and watched her. Her breathing was even, but he doubted she was asleep. He didn’t know how long he sat there before there was a knock on the door. He realized he hadn’t touched his whiskey or his cigarette. Messina let herself in and walked over. She perched on the back on the arm chair near the desk.

“This isn’t your fault, Peña,” she said gently.

“No?” Javi whispered.

“No,” she responded immediately. Javi raised his glass.

“I got played,” he said quietly.

“We all got played,” Messina said. Javi downed the rest of the whiskey in his glass. “We all had the information, it was backed up by Centra Spike.”

“Stop,” Javi interrupted her. He couldn’t take this right now. This was all his fault. Carrillo was dead because he trusted the wrong source. He rubbed his face. “Just…” he whispered and shook his head. “You know, you come in here, you say all the right things.” His hand was shaking. “Doesn’t make a damn bit of difference.” Messina watched him a moment and then nodded. She glanced at Ari.

“How is she?” Messina asked.

“How do you think?” He countered. Messina nodded once more.

“Colonel Carrillo’s funeral will be tomorrow,” she told him before she walked over and opened the door.

“I don’t do funerals,” he responded as she left. “ I don’t do funerals.” He whispered once more. He saw Ari’s shoulders shaking. He put his cigarette out and went to her. She was crying again. He slipped under the blanket and pulled her back against him.

“It’s alright, cariño,” he whispered against her hair. “I’m here…let it all out. I’m not going anywhere.” He held her through the night. Neither one of them slept, nor did they have the desire to succumb to their usual coping mechanisms of cigarettes, alcohol, or sex. They just held each other tight, waiting for the dawn.

A/N: Don’t hate me! I didn’t want to kill Carrillo. In fact, I have written an alternate version of the end of this chapter for those of us who don’t wish to say goodbye to our beloved Colonel. I’ll post it soon.

Chapter 20

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Ok so @bi-polar-geminii already made a post about this and had fruitful discussions about it but I feel like what I have to say might be too long to fit in their asks but

I definitely agree that SOME redacted artists seem to be unable of drawing diverse characters, keyword SOME because this fandom is one that definitely has a majority of lovely designs

And before I continue I want to point out that I am a snow cockroach myself so maybe I shouldn't be the one discussing this but obviously diversity is not just about race, it's about everything on a person like sexuality, ethnicity, nationality, body type, facial features and structures, hair textures and overall small features and accessories that differentiate the person

Honestly this is something that I've been thinking about for a long while and I won't name drop anyone because this isn't a call out post and I'm not looking to start drama (even though there is a certain someone that comes to mind but we won't talk about that) but I was scared that people would get really pissy.

I know that diversity is something that could be classified under artistic skill and I believe that not every artist who posts on social media can't just draw for fun and as a hobby without having the goal of improving but I do also think that diversity is not only a type of skill in character design but also a small gift to anyone that doesn't fit the the perfect beauty standards and when you seemingly refuse to draw anyone that doesn't fit that standard and like, only draw tank, Milo n Alexis as brownskin then that just kinda seems icky

And btw I'm not saying that it's bad to draw those three as poc (hell my tank is darkskin) but there's a difference between drawing a good chunk of the characters as brownskin/darkskin (obv including characters that don't fit/go against the racist stereotypes) and and those three just kinda end up being part of that group and then like all of your characters being crackers and only them being poc

I'm just saying it wouldn't kill you not to make all of your listener designs the same pretty faced preppy saltine sister and every male character the same dorito back webtoon guy but just with different hairstyles, clothing styles and maybe sometimes body types (but never even slightly chubby cuz god forbid)

And also, can we get some listeners that are male/masc?

This is something that I was kinda scared to talk about because like 90% of the fandom will draw like 90% of their listener ocs as women or very fem presenting and I definitely have quite a few listener designs that are very feminine or could be assumed women on first glances and again, the listener characters are gender neutral for a reason and they are at the end of the day supposed to be self inserts so the redacted fandom being majority fem/women it makes sense that they would make majorly fem/women listener ocs but like... If you're already making ocs would it kill you to make at least ONE of them masc/male? Like at least one you don't care about?

And I know saying that people should make more masc/male listener sounds kinda???? misogynistic???? But I'm not saying that because I think that male representation is a thing but because I think queer representation is a thing

I just think that maybe just maybe a little gay people wouldn't hurt??? Pretty please???with a cherry on top????

And damihux doesn't count!!! You don't get to draw them once and be the ultimate gay ally but ofc only on gay month because any other and you might get sent to hell!!! /hj

Just saying when naive little may 2022 me just finished watching freelancer and Gavin team tag Lasko (but not really because I'm literally a mineral and don't have the Patreon) and then went on social media just to see that the fandom was full of STRAGGOTS my jaw hit the submarine

And just, as we close off I know I'm not the ultimate master of diversity, my designs still fall under the pretty face fluffy hair m shaped bangs that definitely look too young for their age but I'm still working on making my character designs look distinct and diverse, and I will be actively working on it for like forever but I definitely won't lie to myself and say that I haven't improved from my dolphin smooth same face syndrome anime boy faze when I only ever wanted to put facial hair on a character when they were past the age of 27 but only put it on the jaw so they just ended up looking like Abraham Lincoln- so I know that I will get better at it eventually

I too look at more talented who are way better at making distinct designs and making designs for characters who don't have to rely on beauty standards to be absolutely gorgeous and feel bad, especially when basically the whole fandom simultaneously descides that a character is poc, a decision that I missed out on and then the fact that my design is seemingly the only one that is white makes me feel like those people that turn objects into people but just end up making them the same breed of sexy anime boy that nobody likes

So if you're insecure about your designs not being distinct enough the best advice I can give is to step out of your comfort zone and actively look for little details that might make a character unique and you'll get there

In conclusion, people who descide to be a conformist (/j) and draw Gavin with a human skin tone but then make him as pale as an uncooked chicken breast when he's specifically described as tan are kinda weird<3333

Also UNPOPULAR OPINION ‼️‼️

People who make their Lovely oc fem/a woman are DELUSIONAL ‼️ and are LYING TO THEMSELVES and are going to miss out on all the sexy fanfiction I'm going to write about Vincent riding their girthy monster cock ‼️( SLASH J EVERYBODY!!!!!!)

At the end of the day, people can draw whatever they want, but people can also say whatever they want in response to it, so you can't be mad if someone that's not even talking about you directly says that they find it strange that some people act like drawing a person that's not completely cis, white, straight, able bodied and a super model without it being some sort of subconscious stereotype will give them the plague