#and two week for Covid last semester is what caused me to fall from A's to D's that I never recovered from.

[deadm0ss]

We are not doing good boys !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lonlonranching]

accidental ramblings about queerness and my experience in early-adulting

idk wtf happened but i feel like since graduating from undergrad to like a couple of weeks ago i had drastically lost sight of my queerness

like even tho there were a lot of labels i didnt know what to do with in undergrad - i still was on the road to self-discovery (and allowed myself to trek it). i came out as gay question mark queer question mark bisexual question mark NOT STRAIGHT in late hs to close friends (actually, a friend had asked me, and i realized i wasnt as good at hiding as i thought), and then i was very fortunate to go to a college that had a pretty clear queer community (though limited - im pretty sure i never found the spaces with aroace people in them, at least out aroace people- in fact i remember hearing a lot of reductive language about aroace people from those i considered friends. they said shit like aroace people are just repressed. they were just traumatized. they were just inexperienced… its a fake internet sexuality for deeply confused and weird people. yeah, not great, and certainly not safe).

so for me, my personal journey really started during covid - where queerness could be a thing between me and myself, and not the rest of the world to tell me who i was and what that meant to them.

my last semester of undergrad was fall of 2020, which about 6 months prior was when covid shutdowns started happening in the states. i went to a teeeny enough undergrad they let us come back if we abided by all the CDC requirements. i was graduating early, and a lot of my friends either had already graduated, dropped out, or they were out-of-staters who were just gonna continue with the online curriculum in place. also a year before, i had done a study abroad, and when i came back, the world went into shutdown pretty immediately. in total, i think i had 2 friends left and i hadnt seen them in a while.

it was the greatest semester. all i did was hang out with these two people, do nothing, and got to be myself without all those watching, waiting eyes…

with the lack of outside observation (observing isnt evil - unwanted and ignorant commentary however…), i became VERY visibly queer. it just didnt matter! and i felt good about myself! and made a lot of interesting outfit choices lol

but then i graduated, and i got my first real adult job and the road began to fog

i go by a name that isnt, errrrr, conventional. and because im a pretty feminine person, i think it confuses a lot of people when they meet me (as if i have to make sense to anyone but myself). i remember i worked for a really “trendy” and “forward-thinking” non-profit with a LOT of people my age, but the majority still treated me like that deeply confused, weird person i had heard about in college. i remember telling them the name i go by (we were still over zoom, the world still grappling with this global pandemic, seemingly no end in sight as we waited in our homes, in front of our screens, for the world to begin turning), and was met by one of the few moments in my life i could audibly hear crickets. my ears burned, and i looked away from their pixelated faces, and told them they could call me my government name if they preferred. i hear a woman who is a year older than me laugh, and then say: yeah im going to call you that one. it was mortifying. it was humiliating. it reminded me of every single second of my life - that i didnt deserve to be me. that there wasnt any room for that nonsense.

i quit that job only a couple months in - which blew for a multitude of reasons: i had to pass literally three different rounds of interviews, it was my only source of income, and i became incredibly mentally unstable. the latter part mostly caused by the actual work part - i worked for this guy who laughed at poor people, and profited off systemic racism. they shoved me and my bachelors in history in meetings with affluent white cis men who thought themselves titans - they had PhDs in fields that take up a lifetime and youre so high above the clouds the rest of us seem like ants. the way they spoke on people made it clear they didnt see others as complex, feeling beings like themselves. and while i was at these conversations, i was not in them, nor was i welcome either. i tend to feel a little uncomfortable around non-profits now. it seems like a misnomer

so i got a new job, after a couple months of heavy medication trial and error (another eldritch horror story). and ive been at it for a couple years! yay!

i will say its not perfect. and i definitely confuse a few people there, especially since the average age there is 60. and im not sure they know many queer people, especially the “weird, confused” ones like myself. i also dont go by my preferred name because its unfortunately just easier for me to not to. but im making it work! in fact, im showing them im pretty sure of myself. and being weird is actually very endearing!

i think ive had to spend the last couple of years relearning my footing on how to be me. i also had to figure out how to stand up for myself and others. to learn its not a bad thing to keep gentleness cradled in your arms, and show it to other people. if they aren’t interested, it says more about them than you. and hopefully they get back on the road sooner rather than later, trekking onward and earnestly.

but for me, because that is what happens here, maybe the road isnt getting less foggy, but im getting more confident in finding my own way.

[lara-jaul]

Let me use this space to clarify something for myself. And just to have a space to come to terms with my sexuality.

My whole life, I’ve been a child/teenager/ young adult that was always not in the “in group”. Never one of the popular kids but I also had some friends.

It started with my switch from elementary school where suddenly it was not cool for a girl to play with the boys anymore. Kindergarten and elementary school were for me the time where I mostly had boy friends and hung with them a lot. Lots of wrestling and rough housing with them in the breaks.

However once I went to middle school (5th grade and a different school) suddenly what I was doing was not welcomed anymore? My flower pants and very bubbly personality was suddenly uncool and the boys all did not want to hang with girls anymore. However the girls also did not really wanna hang with me.

I found some friends but was bullied pretty harshly from 5th-7th grade which escalated in a video being uploaded that was called “fat pig learns dancing!!!!” I never saw it but an old friend from another school in the district had. After that it was fine but I never really got the whole crush thing and just pushed all my feelings (or feelings I was supposed to have) und a friend of my brother I knew would never like me.

I went to an exchange year in a different European country (15-16y) and when I got back I downloaded my first dating app (too young), as I never had been approached by a guy in real life. I got pressured into doing thing sexually I did not want but did not have the courage to say no.

I had switched schools for the last three years and in all that time I went on a lot of first dates but nothing ever developed. My mom even told me one movie night that it was fine for me to like girls. Which, thanks mom, but I didn’t? At least I didn’t think so.

Fast forward a little. Went to college. Covid happen and my exchange semester in the USA fell through and I went to the UK instead. Before I left I actually had my first boyfriend and my first time. After I got back (and after quarantine) I saw him again and only a few days after reuniting I had a meltdown at night in the bathroom cause I did not want him to touch me anymore. Another couple of days and I break up. All fine no worries. I finish my last semester for my bachelor and move to the same European country I had my Highschool exchange in for my masters. My plan: fuck half o the city.

I arrive and just decided to give up on ever finding a boyfriend (and my dream is to have a family, so that was kinda devastier when I decided that). I go on lots of dates, have my first one night stand (it was pretty bad). I think back on my pretty short life and think: maybe I do like girls?

So I switch my tinder to also look at girls. At that point I was really not sure if I was into girls but I made that clear right from the start so everyone involved knew what they were getting into. I even got to talking with one girl pretty intensely. However, only two weeks after I arrived I had a date with a guy and the 1st date lasted 23h. One week later we were together.

I had never been happier, got a fresh new start in the country I want to spend the rest of my life in, had amazing roommates, and a boyfriend who was just there. He put me first, listened to me, did not tell me my health problems with the sun were imaginary, and he became the person who I knew I could tell everything to and he would listen. And understand but also set me straight if I was on the wrong.

Another year passes till this fall. I am in my 3rd semester of my master and had just left my physio. I was Waking to my bus station when I see a woman in front of me in the tightest leather pants I have ever seen and with the greatest ass. I was so mesmerized I walked by my bus station… I had not thought about my preferences since I got together with my bf. This was the first time I was looking at a woman my thought process was not: “Gosh that woman is hot! Look at those breasts… Of course I don’t like them on her! I want to look LIKE her. I do not LIKE her.” I just went “huh… yeah holy shit I am attracted to women…”.

That was a couple of months ago now. And I had been thinking about thinks since then. Did this change me? Did this change my relationship with the most amazing human being I have ever met? Was I only attracted to women, or would I also want to be romantically involved with them? I did what I have done a lot in the last year: I just talked to my bf. And I realized that, yes I would not be opposed to being romantically involved with a woman. But I also will not ever want to leave my bf. So does this revelation of my awakened sexuality change anything? How would I even define that?

For me personally it just changed how I look at things. Like, I don’t know if I am bi, pan or something else entirely? But does it matter to define it? I would still want to be together with my bf if he decides to not be identifying as a man (not that he plans to, but you never know). I love him, the person he is.

So this is how I found out I was queer. Does it matter? No. Do I think that I don’t really have any right to discuss queer problems? Kinda. I am a cis woman who passes as a cis woman in a relationship with a cis man. I live in a Country that is one of the highest rated countries for gender equality and acceptance of differing sexualities. But for me personally it just clicked and it made me so much happier to have figured this out. It does not change my life style, my relationship, or anything.

I won’t come out, I might just let it slip sometimes here or there, but I just wanted to rant/talk about this somewhere. And what better place than my nearly non-existent blog on tumblr.

[excelsi-or]

just a little sweeter (pt. 5)

Hello lovely peopleeee~~ I took a week off of social media, because I wanted to write and do as much art as I could before I went back to school. I’d taken the summer semester off (and had been planning to for almost a year, COVID just really solidified the decision for me) and just started my second last semester yesterday. Guys. Online school sucks.

ANYWAY, for those who care, my original series that I’ve been working on is actually going pretty decent, which is surprising LOL. And I’d love to show you guys some original characters I made for a comic that I’d started during my semester break that I’m now reworking because characters started speaking to me. Now there seems to be some sort of coherent story. 

BIPOC rec: Watch Black is King on Disney+ if you’ve got it. I know this came out ages ago, for people who think that album movies aren’t their thing, the afrobeat music, the costumes, the colouring, the lighting, all of it is so great. 

w.c. 985 (floofy)

pt. 1; pt. 2; pt. 3; pt. 4

“I did what?”

After another day and a half of sleeping, Jihoon feels better. He’s having breakfast in the kitchen with Mingyu and Soonyoung.

“Well, you sort of just…” Soonyoung motions for Mingyu to stand up and then falls dramatically into the younger man’s arms.

Jihoon’s cheeks burn in embarrassment at a moment he can’t even remember. “Oh my god.”

“She seemed…” Soonyoung shrugs, “endeared.”

Jihoon buries his face in his hands. “Is Coups hyung home?” He picks up his bowl of cereal and doesn’t bother waiting for a response. He hurries up the steps to the dorm above, Soonyoung at his heels. He bangs on the door until Joshua opens it.

“You look better,” Joshua comments.

“Is Coups hyung awake?”

“Yeah, I—”

Jihoon stomps down the hallway to Seungcheol’s room, angrily eating cereal. He kicks at the door and then lets himself inside. Seungcheol was, in fact, not awake. He is now, if not very disoriented.

“What’s happening?”

“I made a huge fool of myself in front of her.”

Seungcheol’s brow furrows with his eyes closed. “What?”

Jihoon explains what had happened when he was ill, how she had invited him over, how he had been so incoherent that he did things that he wouldn’t have done. 

Seungcheol runs his hands through his hair. “I told you asking her out wouldn’t make you burst into flames.”

“I didn’t ask her out,” Jihoon emphasizes. “I was sick and wound up at her place.”

“You know she’s interested in you. She took care of you when no one else could. I don’t see where the problem is. And you seem to like her too.” He runs a hand over his face, still trying to wake up. “If the way you’re acting is any indication.”

Jihoon groans and collapses onto the floor, chewing madly on his cereal.

Soonyoung, who is leaning against the doorway, exchanges looks with Seungcheol over Jihoon’s head. Soonyoung has expressed how he’s felt about Jihoon dating again. Seungcheol has argued that they can’t protect Jihoon forever.

“He has a child. He has a broken heart. It’s kinda inevitable that he’ll get hurt, but let’s let him see how he feels,” Seungcheol had said. “Jihoon isn’t ours forever. We have to share him.”

Finished with his cereal, Jihoon rolls onto his stomach. “I don’t even have her number. And I probably whined like a baby at her place.”

“Get dressed,” Seungcheol sighs. When Jihoon looks up at him, he continues, “And we’ll go to the café and you can ask her.”

“No. Definitely not.”

“Give me one good reason why you shouldn’t ask her out.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Eunha.”

“You said Eunha liked her.”

“What? And that’s good enough for me to start dating someone? What if I start dating her and then we break up? What if Eunha gets attached?”

“She’s 1. She’s going to get attached to everyone hanging around you.” Seungcheol forces his eyes closed for a second. It’s too early for him to be doling out advice. They also have a long day ahead of them and he’s been rudely awakened. “Eunha’s happiness is always going to come first, but you deserve to be happy too.”

“But I don’t even know if she’s what makes me happy. What if it’s just that I like that she’s good with my daughter?”

“You won’t know if she’s making you happy until you go on a stupid date with her!” Seungcheol exclaims. Jihoon’s a genius, but dense as a rock.

And this is how Jihoon is dragged into the café, Soonyoung practically pushing him along from behind. 

She looks up at the sound of the door opening and smiles. Her eyes seek Jihoon out first before addressing Seungcheol.

“You said you were going to take me for dessert after your last win,” she laughs. “I’m still waiting.”

Seungcheol chuckles. “I told you to tell me when you’re free.”

“And I told you that it’s so much easier if you just text me when you’re cool to go.”

Seungcheol sighs, a smile still on his face. “It’s been really busy lately.”

She smirks. “Well, when your busy schedule has time for me, then we’ll go, yeah?”

Seungcheol’s wide smile broadens even further. “Sure.” He orders himself a drink and fires through everyone else’s orders except for Jihoon’s. “You said you wanted to try something new today. So go ahead.” Seungcheol taps his card and drags Soonyoung to the other end of the café.

Jihoon stands there, staring at the menu. Her chuckle causes him to look at her.

“In the two months or so that I’ve known you, you’ve always gotten the same drink.”

Jihoon is about to deny that, but rolls his eyes instead. “They’re making me ask you out, but I’m not really sure how to do it.”

Her brow furrows, but she stands in front of him. “Not sure how to do it? Maybe just try asking me?”

Jihoon hums, his cheeks on fire. As blasé as he’s being, he’s still uncomfortable to ask something like this. “I… uh…”

A smile grows on her face as he stumbles through the question. When he finally gets to the end, she’s near laughing. Without makeup to cover his blush, his face has matched the pink of his ears. “Yes. I’ll go out with you.”

Jihoon pauses to process that answer. “You will.”

“Yeah. I didn’t hide how I felt about you.” She gauges his expression. “Unless I did and I definitely didn’t mean to do that.”

A small smile grows on his face. “Then I’ll have my usual.” 

She chuckles and taps the counter top twice. “Coming right up.”

When the members leave the café to head to work, Seungcheol asks him if he finally got her number. Jihoon’s jaw drops in shock that he’d forgotten until he notices something on his cup.

Just ‘cause you didn’t ask. Here’s my number :)

[disabledstemstudent]

Fall ‘19 to Fall ‘20

This is the difference a year, a diagnosis, and a lot of therapy and medication makes. 

My first semester of college, I had a lot of difficulty adjusting. I was undiagnosed until midway through the school year, and that impacted everything. My sleep schedule was terrible because I was struggling to stay on top of everything, which caused me to sleep through classes. I failed homework assignments after forgetting due dates. I was struggling to pay attention in class - in Spanish, I never knew what was going on, because I would space out constantly, and my math class was a mess because I wasn’t able to learn any of the basics and had no idea how to even grasp the more advanced concepts. I went from being a 4.0 student who had never received lower than a B on an exam, to a student with two academic warnings, multiple F’s on midterms. Even throwing myself into studying as hard as I could felt like hitting my head on a brick wall, and made everything worse - I had a hard time showering or making sure I was eating properly. I ended the semester with a 2.80 GPA, after trying so hard to salvage the first half of the term that by the end of the semester, I had isolated myself from my friends, lost 10 lbs from not eating, and didn’t sleep more than five hours a night.  I was convinced that even with therapy, even with support from accomodations, a one-on-one academic counselor, faculty guidance, and meds, that I would never succeed at college, let alone as a STEM major. I really, truly, thought I wasn’t cut out for academia. My therapist, the one who pushed for the ADHD diagnosis to begin with, and helped me sort through referrals and work out a script to explain why I felt I needed an evaluation to my parents, was very confident that with the right supports, and with time to settle in, I would do very well. I didn’t believe him. I spent my January term taking a firefighting class, because I figured it would be a good career option for me if I could pass the course. I agreed to give the next semester a try, and to try to work to build a better support system for myself. The next semester didn’t go off flawlessly, due to COVID, but we worked on medication management, finding me a supportive, accessible housing environment for my sophomore year, and addressing a lot of underlying issues that were causing me to reject faculty guidance and support, and my grades improved quite a bit This semester has been so much better than I could have predicted at this time last year. I’m living with two friends (one with ADHD, one without), on a stable dosage of my current meds, and have been much better at asking my professors for help. I’ve been able to reduce the support meetings I have with accomodations and my class dean, and haven’t needed to see the academic counselor this year. I was even confident enough to elect a second STEM major. It’s not perfect - I struggled somewhat with the first few weeks adjusting to being on campus again, and I had to ask for extensions on a few homework assignments, but to have gone from a GPA of 2.80 to a GPA of 3.83 is a huge success for me. I’m not isolating myself, I’ve not lost a lot of weight again, and hell, I managed to make the same grade in one of the hardest classes for an Astrophysics major (Modern Physics I) that I did in our introduction to physics class my first semester! 

[scandeniall]

sucker, not a simp

pairing: osamu x reader 

request from anon:  Ohoho what about Sucker by the Jonas Brothers with the superior twin AKA Osamu?? 🥴 But really I’m really excited and intrigued to see how you portray him!!

summary/warnings: one time atsumu called him a simp, but suna said hes a sucker instead./alcohol/curisng/college au again

wc: 1.3K

“It's done,” you exclaimed excitedly, immediately shutting your laptop. Glancing around at your project partners around you, you all passed high fives around. When you got to the last male you gave him a half hearted high five, pulling away just as quickly as it happened. You began chatting with the rest of your team members as you all began packing up. You hadn’t even noticed the slight redness that crept up his face.

“You plan on sitting there all night Samu.” Other than Osamu you were the last person to leave the small study room. Your question came from the doorway, as he just shook his head. Glancing at the numbers displayed on your phone you continued. “Well it's already 2am. Come on, we’ve been at this all day, and we present the proposal in the morning remember?”

Before you could completely walk out the door, The call of your name stopped you. “Hey, do you need a ride back?” A small smile shot crossed your face as you nodded, and soon the two of you were out the library and making your way down the eerily silent campus. “Sorry I parked so far, didn’t plan on being here so late.”

“It's fine,” you hummed out, kicking a small pebble along the sidewalk. “Besides, we had fun and got a badass proposal out of it. We all worked great together and bouncing ideas off of you was cool.”

“I guess we make a pretty good team,” his eyes caught yours and all you could do was nod. 

“Yeah, we do. Don't we?”

That was two years ago. After getting put in the same group project for your business class the two of you became nearly inseparable. With similar majors, the two of you found each other studying together, and even scoring internships at the same company. 

“Ok I think that the company should rethink their expansion plan. When you look at the current revenue in comparison to the expenses we have a problem. For 1, they are spending too much on-” Osamu’s mind completely blanked as he watched you talk. The two of you were currently overlooking the business’s future plans and were tasked with improving them. This was just one of the many times Osamu Miya found himself completely and utterly fucked.

From how smart and passionate you were, to how kind and funny, and how you weren’t even afraid to put his brother in his place. Osamu fell hard. It didn’t make it any better that the two of you were a complete dream team when you worked together, and because of that found yourselves paired together the majority of the time. “Hey Samu, what do you think?”

The gray haired man made his way over to the whiteboard you’d written over standing nearly shoulder to shoulder with you. “Sounds good. I just think we should-” his fingers brushed against yours lingering momentarily as he took the marker out of your hand and wrote his own notes and added to your drawings. He couldn’t help but find himself smiling to himself at your terribly drawn buildings. He remembers the first time he saw you try to draw and compliment your descriptions. He called them trash but the way you laugh had him not minding at the shitty stick figures and lopsided buildings over the years. 

Once he finished he glanced over at you to notice you shuffle. “Hungry?” he raised his eyebrow at you as you nodded. He knew it. That specific shuffle where you’d slightly stand on your toes before shifting your weight to the right was a telltale sign that you weren’t feeling the best. And given the time of day, he figured you were pretty much ready for lunch. 

“Ya liked the onigiri last week right?” At your nod he continued. “Well I changed the filling this time. Wanna give it a try?” Osamu mentally cringed at the memory of his roommates the night prior as he prepped the dish.

“Oh c’mon Samu. I’m hungry,” his twin complained as he swatted his hand away. “I don’t care Tsumu. It's not for ya.” His annoyance grew at the blonde’s studpid laugh. “Of course not. It's for (Y/N). God yer such a simp.”

“I think sucker is a nicer way of putting it,” the twins’ third roommate called out lazily. Osamu ignored the ‘Shut up Suna’ from his brother as he continued his task. 

----

“Come on Samu, it’ll be fun.” You drew out the n as you leaned against the kitchen’s counter. Your friend stood over the stove as the smell of food overtook your senses. “Yeah Samu, it’ll be fun,” a third voice chimed in mimicking yours. “Fuck off,” the two over you said at the ame time. Your eyes drifted to the annoying blonde, while Osamu didn’t even bat an eye. “You two are so cute ya know. Talking the same.” This time you wordlessly flipped him off before turning your attention back.

“Come on Samu, it's gonna be spring break. What better way to spend it then getting drunk and having fun with our friends. Dancing the night away and taking on the town. You know it sounds like fun.”

And that's how Osamu found himself alongside you and several of your mutual friends, mildly intoxicated, sitting at an empty park acting like teenagers again. Osamu isn’t sure the heat he's feeling is from the alcohol, his reaction to the cooled night air, or the way your hand held his the entire walk from the bar as you half haphazardly dragged him along

The laughs of your friends were drowned out as the two of you sit on the park fixture on the opposite end of the park. The alcohol had started wearing off as the two of you settled on just a comfortable buzz. The two of you laughed along to the tik tok videos flashing on your phone the buzz making things even funnier than they usually wouldve been. 

“See aren’t you glad you came out tonight,” your head fell onto his shoulder, as you locked the device. 

“Yeah, I am. Too bad I’m not gonna remember the first half of this night.” His head fell back against the park fixture as he shut his eyes. “Oh don’t worry. I have the video of you almost falling off the ledge from earlier,” you teased out thinking back to how you had challenged him to walk the ledge outside of the bar, him nearly falling several times. You had to admit though, that he did better than you. You’d only gotten a fourth of the way through before you had to give it up. 

“Remind me while I followed along with your idea. It was like the blind leading the blind”

“It's because you like (Y/N) ya scrub.” The words came out obnoxiously loud before you could even speak, causing you both to jump in surprise. “Yeah and (Y/N) you like Osamu back,” Both of your eyes widened at the flash from the phone as both your friend and Atsumu stood behind the two of you. They ignored both of your exclaims to shut up as the camera kept going. 

The hand on your shoulder stopped your continuing expletives as lips fell on yours. You ignored the hoots and hollers of the rest of your group who had somehow made their way over to annoy the two of you as well. You continued to ignore them as slightly chapped lips moved against yours and hands pulled you so that you were straddling your friend on a kids park fixture. 

The tiniest bit of alcohol, the feelings for your friend and the adrenaline that had come from the sudden kiss allowed you to keep ignoring your friends who only began to grossly gag and back away as hands fell on your butt and your tongue slipped into his mouth. When you finally pulled away you noticed the two of you were alone. Your forehead rested against his as the two of you let out heavy breaths. You couldn’t help but let out a breathless laugh, as he joined you. 

“Glad you followed me into the dark now?”

“I guess I am”

a/n: yeah sorry for the hold up bby. Idk i still dont actually like this and I struggle with writing osamu, so i hope this was at least tolerable. Requests are open, but pls check my rules first :)

funfact the beginning of this is inspired by an irl thing that happened to me this past semester. He was cute too and our team actually won the prize and our group was deadass in the library for 13 hours straight and left at 2am to be up by 9am. and he did drive me home LMFAO but nothing came of it and maybe i’ll see him at our prize conference if covid doesnt ruin my life further (he was a senior and graduated smh)

[wanderinglotus7]

The Legacy Continues

Well, I made it! I made it. There are three days left of 2020 until we roll into 2021. This year has been a game changer. Game changer doesn’t seen correct...life altering sounds better. My life drastically changed within the past month. Though these events threw me off my game, I recovered and bounced back even stronger. This speaks to my tremendous strength in the Lord & within myself. I continue to tell myself that the fortune teller I spoke with summer 2019 has been spot on y’all. August 2020 to now, adjust to my new life has been challenging, but I don’t regret my decision moving to Massachusetts. This decision is part of the life-course God has plan for me.

Yes, I miss my family. However, my experiences of attending Bridgewater College and traveling to Thailand has prepared me for this moment in my life. Because of covid I haven’t really been active in my new environment, but I try to take advantage of the opportunities I do have to explore my surroundings. Last week I took a nice walk and ended up exploring another part of Newton and almost ended up in the inner city of Boston (I think I walked about 8 miles in total). I took another walk into town and walked into HomeGoods on my way to Starbucks. Leaving and returning to Boston, I took the train and was able to get myself to and from the Logan airport. Small victories in my book! I am in no rush to try to experience everything all at once. I have around 4 to 5 years to embrace Boston as my new home. I already feel like it is anyway. This is my true testimony to see if I can really be responsible for myself. So far, I feel confident in achieving/excelling in this area of my life. My upbringing has prepared me, yet again, for the challenges of [young] adulthood. 

I am getting ahead of myself. I have to rewind a bit give y’all an update. December 18th was the last day of classes and finals week. I have successfully finished my first semester of grad school!!! YEAH ME!!!!! I’m telling you the hard work paid off. I did have my moments of doubt and feelings of not being good enough. I was overwhelmed. I felt like I was drowning trying to balance school, work, and my internship. On top of that, I am trying to balance a relationship along with working on my mental health. My mind & body is always on the go. No time for rest...actually there are moments of rest, but I chose not to rest instead. I have a bad habit of pushing through and bulldozing my way through my life. I don’t take the necessary time to be present and focus on what is in front of me. Sometimes, I get too focused on the future and forget to enjoy the present. I have been in this mode since mid October to the 18th. Midterms kicked me in the ass because that was around the same time I began working at chipotle. Even before Chipotle, I was falling behind on the readings and assignments for my classes. On the other hand, my internship with Amirah is not a stressor in my life because it is an experience that I am passionate about. I’m not bothered having to wake up early and end my days late when it comes to my internship because I am that committed. Being overwhelmed and stressed I passed all my midterms with good grades (all As and one B)! Then the unexpected happened...

October 29th at 11:18pm, I received a phone call from my mother informing me that my Grandmother Shirley unexpected passed away. I think they determined her cause of death was because of a heart attack. I’m not sure. Honestly, I don’t think I really want to know. I’m hoping she passed away peaceful. The news sent me into shock. I just couldn’t believe it. I still can’t believe it. I just had a conversation with that previous Thursday or Saturday, and the conversation went so well. She was so proud of me. She was excited for me to be home for Christmas and all these other things. It’s not the same, but at least we were able to say “I love you” before she passed. Who would’ve known that would be the last time I will ever speak to her again. And this had to happen around the holidays and around the same time that Laura Mae (my great grandmother passed away). In less than three weeks, I received a phone call and text early in the morning from my Grandma Louise and my dad telling me that my granddaddy unexpectedly passed away too. Two grandparents removed from my life at the snap of the finger.

With help from my family, I was able to fly to Virginia for both funeral services. This time I said my final good-byes unlike with Laura Mae. I didn’t want to live with that guilt. Everyone has been very compassionate, understanding, and accommodating to my situation and has given me time to grieve & heal especially regarding BC, Amirah, & Chipotle. I missed a few classes and had to receive a few extensions on a couple of assignments. I pulled through the best way I could manage in my emotional state. My emotional state didn’t get any better dealing with my relationship during this time. Some of my boyfriend’s recent decisions added more unnecessary stress in my life. I was already stressed about me introducing him to my entire family because the timeline got rushed and I wasn’t for sure if I wanted him around while I’m going through a mental & emotional meltdown. At the end of the day, he wanted to be there for me to provide his live and support and I wasn’t going to deny him of doing so. It would’ve been selfish of me to tell him “No”. Everything happens for a reason. Instead of spending maybe two weeks together, my boyfriend and I spent basically all of November together bouncing between Gloucester and Woodstock. It sucked that it had to be under sad circumstances.

Decisions, decisions, decisions that is where my mind was at. Only a few individuals gave me the needed space to focus & process my emotions. From all angles I was being pressured to make some permanent decisions in which my mind was not in the right mind frame to be thinking. I did reach out and have been receiving counseling services from the university which has been helpful. I am in the process of searching for a therapist outside of the university for long-term treatment. Though I tell myself sometimes I feel like quitting, I decided to remain a full time student, declared my concentration, and completed my field placement application for 2021-2022 academic year. I’m on tract to graduating Spring 2022. Being blessed again, I was able to receive extensions on two of my finals and on my field placement assignments. I passed all my finals! I received all As and one B+. I ended the semester with a 3.6 GPA. Not too shabby (lol). I know my grandparents are very proud of me.

I’m proud of myself! I didn’t surrender and take the easy way out. I turned 24 on the 7th which is another milestone in my life. I was shown much love that exceeded my expectations. I spent the Christmas alone, but I made the best out of my situation & was still able to connect with my loved ones. Since the 18th I devoted my downtime, and overall winter break taking better care of myself. The last week I was home, I noticed that I’ve been severely neglecting myself and it was heavily damaging my well-being. I’m growing in setting and maintaining my boundaries, learning to be present with emotions & resting, being okay with saying “no” and not feeling guilty about it. The most important lesson is not overworking myself in every aspect of my life. I am no good to myself or others if I am completely burnt out. 

I am praying that 2021 isn’t a continuation of this year. Yet, 2020 has not been all too horrible. I have been able to grow in so many ways that I am becoming a better individual. Most important, I’m continuing to learn how to be a better person for myself!

[solitaryandwandering]

I NEED HELP

TW: eating disorders, disordered eating, depression, trauma, abuse, anxiety

I never post on Tumblr, wow. Genuinely asking for help here. I’ve always struggled with fluctuations in weight, and the really huge ones usually happen during huge life changes (which is not abnormal in the slightest). I gained forty pounds in my first year of college because I was finally able to eat what I wanted without criticism, which unfortunately resulted in me feeding my sugar addiction and binge eating insane amounts of food. I ran out of food money very quickly my first semester and had to change that habit very quickly. I wasn’t able to drop back to a healthier weight until my last year of college. 

All this to say, now I have been out of school for a year. I have finally decided what I want to do, am volunteering at an organization where I am doing fulfilling work, am looking for a paying position, getting huge offers that I can’t take, and moving into a house with two of my good friends in an inaccessible area. Needless to say, I’ve been very stressed, and it doesn’t help that I have been regressing back into maladaptive coping strategies and mindsets after a year of being in a house with my emotionally abusive father. I first noticed my weight beginning to drop precipitously in March, but I just attributed that to stress about COVID-19 and monitored my symptoms (I may have had it at some point, not sure). At the beginning of the year, I was not exactly healthy but weighed 136.2 lbs. I had been working out and eating decently in my last year of college, but that all stopped when I moved back home, so I have not been working out and do not have a history of obsessively working out. Quite the opposite, actually - I am frequently depressed, haven’t been on birth control in over a year which is making my PMDD moodswings AWFUL, may have ADHD which fucks up my ability to make and stick to schedules, and my anxiety cripples all of that more. I also have hypersomnolence, which is essentially excessive daytime sleepiness. All of these things have compounded to cause me to stay in bed for much longer than I want, and I sometimes only eat if I have had time to go to the grocery store in the prior week to get junky snacks (aka non-perishable) to keep next to my bed and go downstairs for dinner. This also means that I don’t always take the meds I do have on time.

I have gone from 136.2 lbs to 118.2 lbs in less than five months. It’s gotten to the point where I can actually feel the physical effects this is having on me. I am bruising more easily, my chronic pain is worse, my eyesight has deteriorated faster, my skin is taking on a yellowish pallor, the bags under my eyes are darker, my hair is less shiny (though it still looks pretty good) and more of it is falling out, my skin is duller, I am lethargic, my balance has gotten much worse, I can see my ribs in more places than usual (I usually could see them pretty prominently even when I weighed 160 lbs), I feel weaker, I’m shakier, my period is much lighter, and I have been getting more frequent dizzy spells when I stand up, regardless of how long I’ve been sitting. I do not have the option to stop working, get back into working out, or to eat the way I want (though I certainly can eat better). I live with my parents, who had always commented on my weight when I was larger, but only my mother shows concern about how little I eat, and even then she has not mentioned my weight loss. My dad has complimented my body more frequently now than he ever has (which is creepy as hell either way). 

I have never experienced something this severe related to eating before. I’m not even putting everything I’m experiencing down, and this is already really long. I am used to depression-type symptoms that line up with these, but I have not actually had any episodes in the last couple of months unrelated to my period. I’ve actually had an amazing beginning to the month, work-wise. I am experiencing a lot of stress and anxiety, and I know many of these symptoms are related to my anxiety, but I am very concerned about my well-being. This weight loss does correlate with my discovery that I have PTSD, but I do not think it can be entirely attributed to that. I do NOT want to bring this up to my family. My best friend has made some comments lately that make me want to get help, but I can’t get a doctor now when I’m moving across the state next month. What do I do? None of these hotlines seem helpful, since I don’t think I can exactly attribute this to an eating disorder when it’s symptomatic to other things. I don’t think I’m ugly, I like eating food, I don’t obsess about my weight (in the sense that I think I need to be a certain weight), and though this weight loss has definitely come with me feeling more confident about my legs, arms, and waistline, I don’t want to be super skinny. I experience only very very little body dysmorphia, and some of that honestly has to do with my changing eyesight. I honestly believe that, other than my eating habits, I have a healthy relationship with food. I do not feel resentful towards it, I don’t obsess about “bad foods” or want to go on a restrictive diet, and I have a good understanding of what makes up a balanced, sustainable, healthy diet. I want to be fit and healthy. None of the resources out there I can find that are online and/or deaf-friendly really seem to cater to disordered eating in particular and especially not to non-food obsessive disorderliness. 

Does anyone have a nutrition plan I can follow to slowly work myself back up to eating more than one meal a day and binging on junk food? Sometimes I forget that I even have it there and don’t eat or drink (hello, ADHD). Should I get tested for COVID? I don’t think I have it, but should I? I definitely plan on getting back into my healthy workouts when I move out, but eating and meal-planning has always been a struggle with me because people verbally criticize and badger me about my eating habits. Not all of it is mean-spirited, but it stops me from learning about what my body wants me to eat. Exercising is also not going to have a great effect on me if I can’t give myself energy through proper food & am working with a weakened body. Any advice? I’m kinda sensitive to some things & have some sensory hang-ups but I am not allergic to any foodstuffs.

Please direct me somewhere or give me non-judgmental advice. I just mainly need a meal plan & can’t afford a nutritionist, which my dad stopped me from even trying to see when I was in high school.

TDLR; I have lost almost 20 lbs through no effort and desire of my own in the span of four months. I need advice and/or a nutrition plan specifically designed for someone like me that struggles with disordered eating, binge eating, and a sugar addiction. I will be moving out of my abusive environment in March & can commit to living more healthfully then, in a more encouraging place. 

[writeinmysoul]

Soooo.

I sometimes email my former Sci-Fi and Fantasy in Young Adult Literature professor from this last semester. Not much because I take weeks to respond back to her because I suck. Lol. But after two weeks, I finally responded back to her a couple days ago. She gave me her Instagram cause she figured it would be easier, which it is. Then she told me about a new class she’s starting and teaching for the fall semester. She thought I’d be interested in it. Wanna know what it is? It’s fucking Queer Young Adult Literature. And yes I’m beyond fucking interested in that. I’m so happy she even thought to ask me or knew I’d be interested in it. And even if I don’t join the class, she said I can informally audit it. Since it’s going to be remotely delivered through zoom because of Covid, she said i could sit in on a few zoom class calls and she said she’d share the required reading list with me.

And even better than that! Since she hasn’t completed the required reading list and is still doing research to find good fits for the class, and she knows I’m constantly getting new queer books, she asked me for recommendations. And boyyyy. I was more than happy to give them. I asked her what kinda books she was looking for.

She said, “I was trying to include a wide variety of books that cover diff aspects of the lgbtqui spectrum. So YA novels abt lesbians, gay boys, bi folks, trans folks, etc. Also as always I include books by poc. And a variety in formats so at least one graphic novel. Probably at least one film. The idea is to showcase a diverse collection.”

And I was good and raring to go. My list got pretty lengthy so I had to email it to her instead of sending it through Instagram. And then I had to make myself stop. I recommended 31 novels, 3 graphic novels, and 2 movies. I made sure to get as much of the lgbt spectrum as possible. Main character wise, the books combined were 6 lesbian, 16 gay (which are the easiest to find), 4 bi (which are harder to find), 5 trans, 2 ace, 2 non-binary recommendations. 12 of the books have main characters of color and written by authors of colors. Because I’m truly amazing. Majority of these recs were just from the books I either own or want to own alone. I had to stop myself from going to find even more. 😂

I don’t know if she’s looked through the books yet, but one of the movies I suggested was one of the newer Netflix movies called The Half of It, which is lesbian rep. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’ve been wanting to for a while. And she said it was a good movie and she might just make that the movie for class. Look at meeee. This has just made me so genuinely happy. Like. I can’t even explain. I’ve always wanted to take some kind of queer class, and when picking a special topics English class for last semester, I was hoping for some queerness, but there wasn’t really any. And now cause I lucked out in choosing that YA class that I did, I get to take or at least be a sort of what i really wanted to from the start. I’m helping choose books for it, and that’s so wild to meee. Idk. I’m happy about this. 😊😁

[marijuanalegalizationessay3-blog]

college papers

About me

The 2020 Length Limit For The Common Application Essay

The 2020 Length Limit For The Common Application Essay Evidence that the scholar meets certainly one of these criteria might be requested by the higher schooling institution. At least two of the next documents have to be submitted, with dates that proof the 12-month qualifying period. At least one of many documents should be from the First Tier. As some proof is more persuasive than others, more than two could also be requested. No single piece of documentation might be thought of conclusive. Additionally, there should be an absence of data that contradicts the applicant's declare of residency. Associate Editor Hannah Lopez calls for that all online classes ought to have an asynchronous option. Bird mentioned UT might transition to completely on-line lessons if the variety of cases would create a public health menace to the UT group and overwhelm the University’s ability to test, trace and isolate. Our holistic admission course of considers your tutorial background as well as your pursuits and interests outdoors the classroom. Researchers have produced what may be the first kinematic examine of how the slingshot spider stores sufficient vitality to supply acceleration 100 occasions the acceleration of a cheetah. Meeting minimal admission requirements does not guarantee admission. Ben King, board member and chief of finance, authored the bill with co-authorship from President Eric Macadangdang and Aboli Kesbhat, allocations committee chair. The invoice is posted online for public remark until SGB votes Tuesday. The risks the COVID-19 pandemic poses have exasperated the unfair energy disparity that exists in college sports. On what he wished to do after faculty, he said he was into cinematography and was already experimenting with song videos and was approaching filmmakers. We hear from a Penn first yr, sophomore, junior, and senior to compare how COVID-19 will impact their school experiences. This web site shops cookies in your computer to enhance your searching experience. The university does not gather personal information as you browse. No memes, cheating, piracy, or admissions, please. For considered one of my classes this semester I even have to write a three paragraph close read of various passages on a history guide and then do a word reflection each week on the material and discussion. Walmart may be the world’s largest retailer but it has largely failed in its efforts to interrupt Amazon’s on-line dominance. The liberating quasi-anonymity of the online world allowed me to divulge feelings and fantasies I wouldn’t in any other case. A Republican pupil group at Arizona State University has drawn ire for giving cash to Kyle Rittenhouse, who allegedly shot two Kenosha protesters. You can’t stop the beat — and with streaming recommendations this good, why would you want to? This weekend, we’re pondering of everything musical. From Broadway diversifications to face-alone episodes, you’ll be tapping your foot very quickly. One of the greatest challenges on the finish of school is securing a stable job after commencement. According to Sophia Cosentino, a 2020 Pitt graduate, this is even more daunting during the COVID-19 pandemic. SGB unveiled Board Bill at its weekly assembly last Tuesday, seeking to update the governing code’s extra outdated policies. Admissions decisions are selective and competitive. If a student does not meet our desired GPA and test rating ranges we may place them in a maintain decision status. Completing a international language college course at the elementary 2 degree or larger. I don’t think I’ve ever recognized any assistant professor, let alone anybody in academia, get a lot good press in so little time. This could be all misplaced to forgetting to incorporate quotations marks with wanted. She calls herself a “rising scholar” on her site, but the failure to punctuate as wanted may have caused her to plateau, or fall from the excessive precipice of the academy. Seems that Harvard was willing to modify the complete paper and forgive the writer’s overt “forgetfulness” quite than retract the plagiarized paper. Neither the University of Mississippi nor the University of Oklahoma immediately responded to Yahoo Life’s request for comment. However, they're far from the only larger studying establishments scrambling to reply to both the dangers and considerations put forward by their pupil our bodies. In response to the newspaper’s editorial, a spokesperson for the college pointed Yahoo Life in the direction of a letter addressed to the University of Maryland community from Pines on Monday.

[jswdmb1]

Light Of Love

“And now we are awake,

and it seems too much to take

I want to close my eyes

because I fear my heart will break

I want to look away,

I must not look away”

- Florence + The Machine

There has been a lot of lip service given to the deteriorating condition of our coolective mental health since the pandemic began. I have heard specifically that this is a problem with our kids - especially teens.

Suicide is never ok to just accept, but the reasons someone resorts to that option are very often complex and rarely more than just one. The actual attempt (or attempts) come after years of suffering and something that appears on the surface to trigger the action is actually more like a final straw. Certainly, the pandemic is going to tip some over the breaking point, but this has been a growing issue for a long time. Teen suicide rates grew over 50% last decade and became the 2nd leading cause of death among 15-19 year olds during the same period. These rates will surely rise in 2020 but it is a mistake to blame this epidemic solely on COVID-19 lockdowns and closures.

Obviously the schools being fully or partially remote are exacerbating the situation and getting them reopened safely and responsibly should be a priority. Unfortunately, that has not made it up in the pecking order as there has been more concern with keeping the economy going and letting individual districts fend for themselves with little help and a confusing set of rules to follow. I have felt from the beginning that after we went on lockdown in March that our priorities should have been in order:

1) take care of our health care workers and marshal all resources necessary to help them do their jobs,

2) protect our citizens most vulnerable to the virus to prevent its spread and get them the care they need to avoid or treat the illness, and

3) we should have been working to opening schools as fully as possible when the terms began in August starting with special needs and primary grades (who developmentally are suffering most profoundly) and then working our way up the grade later.

After all of that, the economy could then be a focus with some of the trillions of federal aid appropriated in a fair and equitable way to pay businesses that increase the spread of the virus such as restaurants to stay closed as long as needed to allow the situation to be controlled. Obviously, no one seemed to think this should be the case, and we sit here nine months later almost at square one.

Yes, I know a vaccine is here, but that will take time to take full effect, which sadly gives us another opportunity to get this right (along with people doing the common sense stuff like masks, etc.). If we had any sense (or leadership) we would put things on pause everywhere for a few weeks during a time when things are slow anyway. Get things at the hospitals stabilized and then look at what we can do about the schools. Maybe delay starting the second half of the academic year a few weeks with a goal of full in-person learning by the end of March. Allow those who want to opt out to do so and also offer a full in-person summer semester for anyone who wants to catch up.

I would also suggest that all sports seasons missed could be made up in condensed seasons that individually start when it is safest. I would suggest a “fall” season in February, March, and April that brings back outdoor sports like football and soccer. From May to July play the spring sports like baseball and softball and bring back some of the winter sports like basketball and volleyball if it is safe for indoor activities (or play them outside). It’s not perfect, but it would give kids hope and a tangible piece of evidence that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Once we get through all of this, the temptation will be to say things are “normal” again and the suicide rate will decline. It probably will but going back to pre-pandemic levels isn’t good enough and doesn’t address the real issue that depression in teens goes largely untreated (often well into adulthood where it gets even worse). There is a lot to tackle right now, but there is no doubt teen suicide has to move up on our radar as soon as we can prioritize it. Until then, as corny as it sounds, it comes down to each of us caring for those around us and especially in our own houses to keep this at bay. The truth is that no doctor or school will have a greater impact than a parent connecting with a teen who is depressed. Trust me, as the parent of two teenagers, I know how hard this can be, but you just have to keep working at it day-by-day and for some it won’t end after their teen years. For those with true clinical depression it will be a lifelong battle that is always going to require support.

As always, If you or someone you love is thinking at all about self-harm immediately call the suicide prevention lifeline at 800-273-8255 or visit their website at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ for further resources. 911 works too but they will likely take you to the hospital which may not be the best place to be right now. No matter what though please hang in there. These are pretty dark days, but I do get a sense that we can make it with continued perseverance and a collective will to do what it takes to get this nation healthy again. Until then, do everything you can to support those closest to you, especially those in your house. We are all going to need it if we are going to do this.

Peace,

Jim

[womenofcolor15]

9 People Test Positive For COVID-19 At Georgia High School That Went Viral For That Hallway Pic, And They're Now Going Virtual

A picture of Georgia students’ first day back for face-to-face classes – with no one wearing masks - amid the Coronavirus pandemic quickly went viral. The student who posted the picture was suspended, but the school recently reversed that decision. After 9 people tested positive for the virus, the school is now doing online learning. More inside…

  North Paulding High School gained national attention last week when a photo of students packed in a hallway - without wearing masks - went viral. And it caused outrage on social media.

In the picture, students are seen walking through the hallway shoulder-to-shoulder as Coronavirus cases continue to climb in Georgia. It was taken on the one of the first few days back for face-to-face cases.

Many school divisions across the country have opted for online classes, at least for the first nine weeks of school due to the pandemic that’s still very much an issue in the country. Despite the number of positive cases in Georgia continuing to rise, Georgia school officials decided to reopen schools.

Now, the school (including those who did not want to be ther ein the first place for this very reason) is paying the consequences.

Six students and three staff members who were at North Paulding High School last week have reportedly tested positive for COVID-19. The school plans to temporarily shut down and classes will resume online for at least a couple days this week. The district said it needs time to disinfect the building and to also trace back to those potentially infected.

“On Monday and Tuesday, the school will be thoroughly cleaned and disinfected, and the district will consult with the Department of Public Health to assess the environment and determine if there (are) any additional close contacts for confirmed cases who have not already been identified,” Paulding Superintendent Brian Otott wrote in a letter to parents Sunday.

He also implied the school followed COVID-19 guidelines.

"Under the COVID-19 protocols we have adopted, class changes that look like this may happen, especially at a high school with more than 2,000 students," he said.

Otott said the school is working to further limit large crowds and noted that "students are in this hallway environment for just a brief period as they move to their next class."

Parents will be notified Tuesday evening whether the high school will reopen Wednesday.

  Day two at North Paulding High School. It is just as bad. We were stopped because it was jammed. We are close enough to the point where I got pushed multiple go to second block. This is not ok. Not to mention the 10% mask rate. pic.twitter.com/JKbGYqG9RS

— hannah (@ihateiceman) August 4, 2020

  Hannah Watters – a 15-year-old sophomore – was originally suspended for posting the image on social media. She said North Paulding High School suspended her for using her phone without permission on school grounds, using her phone for social media during school hours and posting images of minors without their consent.

Days later, school officials reversed the decision.

“I was happily surprised,” Hannah told NBC News.

“They disciplined me for things that everyone does at that school,” she said. “The severity of it was unnecessary.”

The Paulding County School District started classes for the fall semester last Monday. They also offered digital classes along with in-person classes. Students are not required to wear face masks at school. According to its website, it’s only encouraged. 

What exactly did they think would happen? Going totally virtual should have been the district’s decision for the safety of the students and staff. There are a total 216,596 positive cases in the state of Georgia with 4,199 deaths.

This isn’t the only school district in Georgia battling COVID cases.

After one week of classes, more than 250 students and teachers in Cherokee County School District have tested positive for COVID-19, according to the district’s website.  Meanwhile, Cobb County Schools said it will continue with online-only classes after the Georgia Department of Health alerted it to about the 100 potential cases.

Greenfield Central Junior High School in Indiana had to shift to online learning after just two days. A student received a positive test on the very first day of classes. Students at Corinth High School in northern Mississippi were forced to quarantine after classmates tested positive for the Coronavirus during the first week of classes.

Now, school officials across the nation must decide whether to reopen schools or go online. Many school districts have already opted for online learning.

According to a new American Academy of Pediatrics report, nearly 100,000 children have tested positive for the Coronavirus in the last two weeks of July. Just over 97,000 children tested positive for the coronavirus from July 16th to July 30th, according to the association.

In July, Georgia Governor Brian Kemp (R) said he wanted kids back in schools in person because they're safer there, "from a nutrition standpoint, child abuse, human trafficking."

Really sir?

And here we are...

Photo: Hannah Watters/AP

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/08/10/9-people-test-positive-for-covid-19-at-georgia-high-school-that-went-viral-goes-virtual-s

[newstfionline]

Headlines

The stimulus effect (NYT) The United States went into the Great Lockdown with the most household debt in history, stagnant incomes for all but high earners and armies of people telling pollsters they were living paycheck to paycheck. Then, for millions, their paychecks stopped. But instead of a stampede to the bankruptcy courts, personal bankruptcy filings—a useful, if extreme, indicator of the financial health of the American consumer—dropped sharply from April through June, even as unemployment soared. One reason for this counterintuitive picture: The federal government’s stimulus package, which, beginning in April, has put cash into unemployed people’s hands on a weekly basis, allowing them not just to buy groceries and pay rent, but to pay down existing debt.​

Facing uncertain fall, schools make flexible reopening plans (AP) Administrators in the Parkway school district in suburban St. Louis spent the summer break crafting a flexible reopening plan, with options that include full-time classroom learning, full-time online instruction and a hybrid system. It’s a good thing because the dangers of the coronavirus are so uncertain that district officials are reluctant to make predictions about the fall semester, which begins in only five weeks. Confirmed coronavirus infections in Missouri’s hardest-hit city waned in June, but they are now spiking, along with hospitalizations. Schools plan to resume classes Aug. 24. “If you had asked me even two weeks ago, ‘Do you think we would be able to come back?’ I would have said, ‘Yeah,’” Assistant Superintendent Kevin Beckner said. “Today my answer is ‘I’m not sure,’ just because of how the situation has changed so quickly.” Schools around the U.S. face the same dilemma. With the number of reported COVID-19 cases and deaths still rising, districts must grapple with whether to bring students back to classrooms, and how to keep pupils and teachers safe if they do.

Vulnerable Border Community Battles Virus (NYT) On a sweltering day last week near the southern tip of Texas, where high rates of poverty and chronic illness have heightened the ferocity of the coronavirus, Dr. Renzo Arauco Brown made his rounds, checking on patients who were facing severe complications from the virus and barely hanging on to life. The now-chaotic special infectious disease unit where he works has been clobbered with new admissions in recent weeks. As the coronavirus expands its destructive path across the United States, it is bearing down on some of the places most vulnerable to its devastation—places like the southernmost wedge of Texas, on the border with Mexico, which has seen a punishing surge in infections. In the Rio Grande Valley, more than a third of families live in poverty. Up to half of residents have no health insurance, including at least 100,000 undocumented people, who often rely on under-resourced community clinics or emergency rooms for care. Tick off the list of risk factors for developing severe complications from the virus and you will have described this margin of the country: More than 60 percent of residents are diabetic or prediabetic. The rates of obesity and heart disease are among the nation’s highest. More than 90 percent of the population is Latino, a group that is dying from the virus at higher rates than white Americans are.

Mexican president sticks to no-war approach after shocking cartel video (Reuters) Mexican President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador said on Monday he would maintain a less confrontational approach to battling drug gangs even after one of Mexico’s most powerful cartels showcased its firepower in a video that stunned Mexicans. A video purportedly shot by the Jalisco New Generation Cartel (CJNG), showing dozens of armed gang members in bullet proof vests in front of armored cars painted in military-style camouflage, went viral on social media on Friday. Lopez Obrador said he would not repeat the mistakes of previous administrations that failed to contain cartel violence, which surged after former President Felipe Calderon launched a military-led crackdown on the gangs in late 2006. “Violence cannot be confronted with violence, fire cannot be extinguished with fire, evil cannot be confronted with evil,” he said. “Evil must be confronted with good.” Lopez Obrador said his government would face down gangs with intelligence rather than force, focusing on poverty and other root causes of crime.

Insults, slammed fists: EU virus summit goes into 4th day (AP) Weary and bleary, European Union leaders were gearing up Monday for a fourth day of fighting over an unprecedented 1.85 trillion-euro ($2.1 trillion) EU budget and coronavirus recovery fund, barely recovered from a weekend of walkouts, fists slamming into tables and insults. “It looks more hopeful than when I thought during the night: ‘It’s over,’” said Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte, the target of much of the criticism. It was planned as a two-day summit scheduled to have ended Saturday, but there are deep ideological differences between the 27 leaders forced the talks into two extra days. Rutte, defending the cause of a group of five wealthy northern nations—the Netherlands, Austria, Finland, Sweden and Denmark—sought to limit costs and impose strict reform guarantees. He came under criticism from Macron, Italy and Hungary, whose Prime Minister Viktor Orban asked why the Dutchman had such “hate” toward him.

‘Selfless’ Bedford faith group hands out thousands of meals (BBC) A faith group that has made more than more than 18,000 meals for key workers during the coronavirus pandemic has been praised as “selfless”. The Sri Guru Ravidass Sabha group in Bedford started cooking for NHS, police, and care home staff in April. It has now stopped making dinners for key workers, but will continue to cook for homeless and vulnerable people. Group president Jaswinder Kumar, who is a full-time postman, said his team of 10 volunteers “have done a fantastic job, but we didn’t think we would be doing it for so long”. “We have all got a little bit tired, but you get excited when you can help others,” he said.

India Rounds Up Critics Under Shadow of Virus Crisis, Activists Say (NYT) After spending several anxious days in prison, Natasha Narwal, a student activist accused of rioting by the New Delhi police, thought her ordeal was nearing an end. A judge ruled that Ms. Narwal had been exercising her democratic rights when she participated in protests earlier this year against a divisive citizenship law that incited unrest across India. But shortly after the judge approved Ms. Narwal’s release in late May, the police announced fresh charges: murder, terrorism and organizing protests that instigated deadly religious violence in India’s capital. Ms. Narwal, 32, who has said that she is innocent, was returned to her cell. As India struggles to quell surging coronavirus infections, lawyers accuse the authorities of rounding up government critics and keeping them in detention in the middle of a pandemic. It is part of a strategy, they say, to stifle activists who are protesting what they see as iron-fisted and anti-minority policies under Prime Minister Narendra Modi. In recent weeks, Ms. Narwal and nearly a dozen other prominent activists—along with potentially dozens of other demonstrators, though police records are unclear—have been detained. They are being held under stringent sedition and antiterrorism laws that have been used to criminalize everything from leading rallies to posting political messages on social media. Law enforcement officials in New Delhi, who are under the direct control of India’s home ministry, have denied any impropriety. But rights groups say the arrests have been arbitrary, based on scant evidence and in line with a broader deterioration of free speech in India.

Flooding in Asia (Foreign Policy) Nearly four million people in Nepal and India’s northeastern state of Assam have been displaced by heavy flooding caused by monsoon rains. Officials on Sunday said that 189 have died so far in the flooding, caused by an overflowing Brahmaputra River. “The flood situation remains critical with most of the rivers flowing menacingly above the danger mark,” Assam Water Resources Minister Keshab Mahanta told Reuters. In China, authorities dynamited a dam on the Chu river, a tributary of the Yangtze, in an attempt to lower water levels swollen by heavy rainfall. The rains have caused 1.8 million people in the country’s central and southern regions to be evacuated so far.

Hong Kong leader says coronavirus now spreading ‘out of control’ (AFP) The deadly coronavirus is spreading out of control in Hong Kong with a record 100 new cases confirmed, the finance hub’s leader said Sunday as she tightened social distancing measures to tackle the sudden surge in infections. The finance hub was one of the first places to be struck by the virus when it emerged from central China. But the city had impressive success in tackling the disease, all but ending local transmissions by late June. However, in the last two weeks, infections have spiked once more and doctors fear the new outbreak is now spreading undetected in the densely packed territory of 7.5 million people.

COVID-19 moves South Korea's mud festival online (Reuters) When a pandemic threatens a good romp in the mud, some South Koreans bring the mud home with them instead. The popular Boryeong Mud Festival, halted this year because of COVID-19, instead became an online celebration of soil, with people from around the country enjoying mud pools and mud packs in their homes—and streaming the dirty results. The annual mud extravaganza, in Boryeong on the coast 130 km (80 miles) southwest of the capital Seoul, is South Korea’s most popular festival for international visitors. They typically flock to the beach in their hundreds for mud slides, mud wrestling and other revelry. Boryeong launched the festival on Daecheon Beach in 1998 to rejuvenate a local economy hit by the Asian financial crisis. The event promoted mud-based cosmetics said to be good for the skin—turning what is known as a dirty beach into one of South Korea’s biggest tourist attractions.

The lights go out on Lebanon’s economy as financial collapse accelerates (Washington Post) Most parts of Lebanon are receiving no more than two or three hours of electricity a day. An incoming flight at Beirut’s airport had to abort a landing this month because the lights on the runway went out. The traffic signals in the capital have stopped working, adding to the congestion on Beirut’s already chaotic streets. These are among the latest symptoms of an economic implosion that is accelerating at an alarming pace in Lebanon as its government, its banks and its citizens run out of foreign currency simultaneously. The collapse is the result of decades of economic mismanagement, corruption and overspending. Hopes for a rescue are fading as the country’s ruling elites balk at the kind of reforms and outside scrutiny that would unlock international aid. Talks with the International Monetary Fund to secure a $10 billion loan have stalled. Known as an oasis of prosperity and relative stability during the past decade of Middle East turmoil, Lebanon is descending into poverty, despair and potentially chaos. Economists are now predicting a Venezuela-style collapse, with acute shortages of essential products and services, runaway inflation and rising lawlessness—in a country at the heart of an already unstable region.

Egypt parliament backs deployment abroad after Sisi says could intervene in Libya (Reuters) Egypt’s parliament on Monday approved the deployment of armed forces abroad to fight “criminal militias” and “foreign terrorist groups” on a “western front”, after President Abdel-Fattah al-Sisi said Cairo could intervene in Libya. The decision came after Sisi said last week that Egypt would not stand idle if there was threat to national security in Egypt and its western neighbour, Libya, if parliament gave its approval. Shortly beforehand the Egyptian presidency said Sisi had agreed with U.S. President Donald Trump to maintain a ceasefire in Libya and avoid any escalation.

Home learning, reopening schools especially hard in Africa (AP) Lessons via radio or TV. Math problems in newspapers. Classes on Zoom or WhatsApp. The options for African students to keep studying while schools remain closed because of the coronavirus pandemic seem varied, but the reality for many is that they will fall behind and possibly drop out of school forever—worsening inequality on an already unequal continent. “I think education now is more of an emergency than the health issue,” said Dr. Mary Goretti Nakabugo, a literacy expert who runs a Uganda-based education nonprofit called Uwezo, noting that there have been no reported virus deaths and just over 1,000 cases in Uganda. Children “are completely helpless at the moment.” Although the pandemic has disrupted education across the globe, the schooling crisis is more acute in Africa, where up to 80% of students don’t have access to the internet and even electricity can be unreliable, making distance learning difficult, if not impossible. Schools also often provide a refuge to vulnerable children, offering services that their families cannot afford.