#and urm others...
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notes app doodles i did on my dad's phone while bored
#arting#transformers#shockwave#starscream#soundwave#astrotrain#bumble bee#hot rod#whirl#tailgate#perceptor#and urm others...#drew them mostly from memory 😭😭😭
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trying to be cool and mysterious but somebody mentions a niche interest of mine
#theres way too many#ny friends cant even joke#cz im the “urm actually 🤓☝️” guy#with just one friend tho lmao#HELP I REMEMBER WE WERE WRITING A FANFIC ABOUT OUR FRIEND AND A GUY#AND WE WERE PLANNING THEIR WEDDING SCENE#and my bsf goes like well have a buttercream cake with fresh fruit on top in the sun#and i was like#ACTUALLY#and then i explained how buttercream is made and that food gets mushy and that the sun would melt it#and she was like#figure it out yourself then but it should look like that#(we figured it out cz god forbid we breathe without informing the other)#anyways#i had somerhing else to say but i lost track#oh yeah#ny friends were discussing art once and i went into this whole speech and one of them said please dont do that again#like okay </3#i need a place to yap#nd mt bsf got her ohone taken away#yall are stuck with me#woohoo#aidenyaps
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“meh tropes are boring when they become overu-”
me when two opposing characters that are each other’s foils continuously pull off tactics against each other, a back and forth that is symbolized with both characters having a chess board that they play alone and move the pieces when strategizing. at the climax, one of them moves the piece integral to their plan and ominously says “your move *insert character here*” while the camera captures their face at a sinister angle:
THE AUTHOR MADE THIS FOR ME ALONE!
#bonus points if the other character somehow thwarts the plan then moves THEIR most important piece and says check#ooh yeah#urm what do i tag this
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30/11/2024
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#im not even with him but yesterday he said i love matcha even though we've never spoken about it#a d i would never say that because i hate matcha and i hate coffee and i hate normal tea. i lnly like green im a sweet tooth girlu#so like. what and then he swore up and down that i said i loooveee matcha an i was like urm no i would literally never say that#so im just like teehee who was that about ☺️#but i think thats not really fair considering im not even with him#so we came to the agreement hes wrong its not about me but i didnt say “who was that about then”#cuz i dont wanna b crazy. but also who was that about#i cant focus on that though its not FAIR. genuinely every other thing hes ever said or done has been incredibly lovely#like its not fair right? to judge him by one slip of the tongue? so i guess ill let it go but also idujdbfbdjchbfbd#anywayyyy
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percy jackson has got to be the only main character that is constantly catching strays for trying to be the hero in his own story
#cant stop thinking about this post i saw where rick riodian apparently was like#'and the moral of the HoO series is that percy needs to learn to step back and let someone else have the grand moment'#when that was literally the end of PJO too??m#with Luke??? Like Rachel pretty much tells him#'you're not the hero in this one' and he's like urm you what#and he ofc is the hero#but the final moment is his but also isn't his#anyway so wild that he apparently needed to learn that again#not his fault that he slots all the other characters#he's just that good okaY!!!#percy jackson
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sometimes im like maybe its not adhd maybe its ocd but i really hate that i keep realizing i possibly have more and/or other stuff
#.txt#the symptoms make more sense#a lot of things i consider my adhd i could attribute to the autism#but there are things like the lack of drive to start activities and struggling to stay attentive#ohh but the rituals.#which ive always contributed to my schiz and autism#but i keep reading more n more about ocd and urm#the obessive thoughts you cant break free from and compulsive behaviors to soothe them..#i do that like to the point where its affected my health#funnie haha. i revisit this like every other month. time to ignore it again actually
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Alrighty this is a lil snippet of a Wild and Twilight scene that I worked on for a day or two! Some context for this scene, this is pretty soon after they escape Cia and make the deal with totk Ganondorf for him to remove Cia's seal off them and to teleport them somewhere random. Just a short lil scene of some Twilight and Wild bonding + Twilight freaking out a bit over being corrupted with Gloom.
also!! @trangender-herooftime this is the very beginning of the corrupted/gloom Link saga that I mentioned a couple days ago! like always, I'm always okay if you don't wanna be tagged :]] I just wanted to cause I know you said you were interested lmao.
Now for some gloom infected Wild and Twilight >:3 a bit of angst and foreboding stuff with an actual sweet scene.
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Twilight didn’t notice the mark at first.
It was a small thing, hidden underneath the thick layers of fear, grim, and blood that had steadily coated his skin until the color of his skin was no different than the dirt underneath his feet. The small, blackened patch throbbed, like a painful bruise that pulsed in time with his heartbeat and burned at the slightest touch, the skin around nearly consumed in a reddened fever that had Twilight’s face twisting in a grimace. At first the distant throb of pain was hardly anything important, with his entire body being consumed in pain and fear, the distant ache that began to pierce through his shoulder was hardly worth registering.
Blood coated his knees, his own and everyone else’s, a mixture of such a deep, consuming red that Twilight wasn’t confident he could pinpoint where the pain ended and he began. The ache was so inconsequential, so quiet amongst the cacophony of gashes and splitting skin, that it had simply faded from Twilight’s mind as quietly and as suddenly as it appeared. Now, Twilight couldn’t help the pained exhale as he stared down at the muddied pool of water at his own battered reflection.
Blackened water dripped down into the water, the thickened layers of grim being scrapped off with each rough scratch of nails digging at the skin underneath. Twilight could only dredge up the distant feeling of disgust at the feeling of his own dried blood gathering beneath his nails, only passing a grim glance at the sight before dipping his hands back into the water. The surrounding forest was quiet, peaceful even, a sight so familiar that Twilight could only attempt to ignore the pain scratching up from his throat.
The treeline faded back as Twilight caught the sight of the strange mark once again. It was dark, pitch black even, a stark contrast to the pale skin that cowered beneath the light of the day. Thin lines of red pulsed in time with the dim fever, a bright crimson that festered and bled into the rest of his skin until it sang along with the thrum of pain that enveloped every part of his body.
Now, underneath Twilight’s worried stare, the blackened patch seemed to squirm restlessly, unable to simply hide how it had burrowed itself into Twilight’s shoulder. Twilight couldn’t help the immediate thought that it looked sick, rotted even, the kind of festering wound that would occasionally appear on the unlucky farm animal in Ordon. Most animals didn’t survive sickness, the rot would simply engulf them until its roots were far too ensnared within the very flesh that it was more of a mercy for it to die. The thought brings with it a distant kind of memory, one when he was far too small and young to be anywhere close to the scent of death.
Twilight remembers the smell of rot that had enveloped the barn, the soft mummers of comfort that fell on deaf ears to the goat that was struggling in a pool of its own misery and blood. Looking back, it was one of his first encounters with death, and through the thin opening of the barn’s door he had watched as the doctor gave a defeated sigh as she had leaned back from the goat. The sight of blackened blood had burned itself into Twilight then, the futile noises of an animal grasping for life despite death practically reeking from every one of its orifices.
Later, Twilight had learned that the goat had been battling a severe sickness, an infection, one that had started from a messy pregnancy as the mother had simply been unable to pass all of its babies. The infection was simply too far deep into the mother’s flesh, too late to help, too much pain for any one animal to bear.
Twilight had never seen that goat again, after he was caught by Rusl and was taken back home with a gentle hand on his shoulder and a kind expression as he told Twilight of death. It was a natural thing, Twilight had learned how death could be cruel and kind in equal turns, it was something that he had long made peace with the first time that he had taken up a sword.
But there was something different about sickness, the kind of rot that he had seen consume that goat that day until it could only scream out in pain that had no salvation or saving grace. The scent of rot clogged Twilight’s nose, the smell more and more putrid the longer that he stared at the growing black mass that looked back at him through his reflection. Twilight realized with a jolt of horror that he wasn’t quite sure when it had appeared, but his gut twisted and dropped with a dawning dread that had him swallowing down nausea.
The rustling of grass snapped Twilight’s eyes from his reflection, teeth grinding in poorly-hidden fear as Wild gently stopped a handful of paces away. Shock stilled Wild for a moment, before a quiet horror took its place at the black dripping into the water. Not a single word was spoken, not as Twilight felt the adrenaline fall away and neither when Wild’s eyes twisted in understanding. Seconds sluggishly moved passed, each moment painfully slow as Twilight dimly watched Wild approach, the dirtied riverbank crunching beneath his feet.
No word was spoken, the quiet mercifully untouched as the gentle wind that swept along the river’s water brought the taste of salt along with it. It wasn’t enough to cleanse him from the rot that still sat stubbornly on his tongue, but he could still manage the slightest twinge of his lips at the cool breeze.
“I… I didn’t realize, I never wanted-”
“It’s okay, Wild. It’s… I’m not surprised.” Twilight feels more than sees how Wild stiffens beside him, the pain practically radiating from Wild’s side as he glares back down into the water with despairing gleam in his eyes. The stilted silence pervades the tranquility of the water before the both of them, the seconds making the dread in Twilight’s stomach all the more heavier until the sight of charred skin catches his eye.
Red veins pulse sluggishly from the very center of the mass and Twilight pushes down the sick feeling, the urge to throw up growing stronger by the second until Wild shuffles again.
“...Does it hurt?” The smile that appears on Twilight’s face is a genuine one, the edges of it curling with warmth as Twilight meets Wild’s own nervous eyes with his own. The burn of Wild’s troubled, frantic glances at his exposed shoulder only made Twilight’s smile soften further, giving a slight chuckle before leaning back from the water.
“No, it’s just… warm.” Truthfully, Twilight could admit to himself that it felt like something was alive under his skin, just barely scratching against his bones with dull claws that spoke of malice, hatred even. Not sharp enough to hurt, not yet anyway, but just enough that Twilight swore he could feel another heartbeat along his own.
“I promise you, Wild. I’m okay, if anything I should be the one asking you that.” A good-natured smirk tugged up on Twilight’s lips, pulling himself completely from the water’s edge and shifting closer to Wild’s side. Twilight’s smile dimmed as Wild pulled his own blackened arm closer, guilt clouding his already dark expression
“...You weren’t supposed to be hurt, none of you were, that wasn’t part of the deal at all-” Wild dug his fingernails into the pitch black flesh of his new arm, veins of gloom pulsing angrily against the dull green glow until reddened smoke weaved themselves inbetween Wild’s fingers. Twilight had hardly registered the thought before he was gently wedging his hand into Wild’s own, white-knuckled and gloom-infested as it was, but Twilight hardly cared.
“Would you rather have dealt with Ganondorf all alone?” Twilight kept his voice quiet, tightening his hand into Wild’s own as a shaky, watery exhale was Wild’s only response.
“I should’ve, I should’ve just demanded something else- gone alone- just anything else but this.”
“...Let me tell you something about my own Ganondorf, Wild.” Twilight hardly breathed as Wild fell into his shoulder, shuddering breaths wracking his body with violent jolts that had Twilight pulling him just the slightest bit closer.
“Midna, a friend of mine, was the first one who told me about Ganondorf. He was a cunning man, intelligent, a commander, the truest example of the Gerudo King in every sense of the word. But… I didn’t want to believe her, not at first.” Twilight pushed down the bittersweet longing that tinged his words, ignoring the curious glance that Wild gave before forcing himself to continue.
“I was told that I was the hero, I had no idea what that meant at the time but I knew that people needed help and I was the only one there to fill that role. There might’ve been a princess waiting for me, but before that? I was just trying to save whoever I could.”
“The idea of him was terrifying, but I never admitted that to my Zelda, or Midna. Never before and never afterwards, I just couldn’t say out loud that I was scared, wasn’t sure if I could risk being so when there was already so much at stake.” The memories felt distant and yet so extremely fresh, if Twilight focused he could swear that he could still feel Midna’s gaze burning into him, an uncharacteristic grave expression drawn onto her face. Midna had burned with a hatred that he hadn’t quite understood, a loathing that she hardly ever had the strength to explain.
It was a hatred that he had only seen matched during the very height of Zant’s madness, an endless muttering prayer for an angry ‘god’ that had taken depraved pity on him.
Twilight understood then, without even muttering a word to Midna as she mercilessly crushed Zant against her rightful throne.
“Until before I knew it, there was no more time to wonder about what kind of man could become a god, because I was meeting that same man.” Twilight still remembered the flash of recognition that had burned through him at the sight of Ganondorf sitting upon Hyrule’s throne, the very image of a scorned king. Nothing was said, yet he had known with a frightening certainty that it was him, just as Ganondorf smirked back at him with a knowing look.
Perhaps destiny had always demanded that they would meet, would always fall back into each other’s orbit, just like how Ganondorf’s shadow would always inevitably fall back over him.
Maybe Ganondorf was just waiting to make his mark.
Twilight pointedly did not look down at his shoulder at that thought.
“But the one thing that I couldn’t doubt, the one thing that I knew, was that Ganondorf wasn’t a fair man. He had cheated, manipulated, and taken advantage of every single scrap of power that he could get his hands on, all the way up until he reached that throne.”
“Ganondorf… your Ganondorf, I don’t think he was any different. That’s why I don’t blame you, because I would’ve hated myself even more if you were forced to go through it alone.”
The silence after Twilight’s admission was palpable, an incredibly heavy weight that pushed down on his shoulders, but he couldn’t say that he felt guilty or embarrassed at all at his words. Simply, it was the truth, Twilight would’ve rather share the gloom steadily corrupting him to his very bones rather than watch uselessly as Wild crumbled away. What use is a hero that could sit uselessly, without a purpose? Only able to stand quietly aside as the scarily few pieces of his family scattered away?
Family? Was that what Wild was now? Twilight dared to meet Wild’s eyes as the thought lingered in the forefront of Twilight’s mind, the simple word so scarily simple yet terrifying. Wild stared back, eyes pinched in contemplation and pain as the grip around Twilight’s hand tightened minutely, the subtle shake in his palms stilling slightly underneath Twilight’s own comforting squeeze. Moments passed like that, until Wild sharply pulled Twilight to his side and buried his face into the still dirtied skin covering his neck.
Twilight smiled softly, entwining his arms around Wild’s torso and pulling him even closer with a fervor that caused his smile to shake subtly where it was hidden in the grimy mess of Wild’s hair.
“...I wanted to do it alone, that was what I had planned.”
“I know.”
“It was only supposed to be me.”
“But it wasn’t.”
Twilight felt Wild melt further into the hug, his shoulder growing suspiciously warm as Wild fell silent once again until the soft breeze running atop the river’s water drowned out the sound. The forest's edge danced with the slight wind, shuffling until Twilight could taste the sense of home beneath all of the fear and torment that had clung to them all like a second skin. Twilight could only admit the truth to himself then, accept it without a single doubt, that Wild was part of his family now.
Perhaps they all were, every single one of them managing to slip between every single one of their cracks and sharpened edges that Twilight wasn’t sure where he began and they started. Wild’s heartbeat slowed against his own chest, subtly matching the tempo of his own heart as Twilight breathed in the scent of Wild still clinging to his arms.
What didn’t they all share? Surely part of the same soul and fate, pieces of each other ripped apart and remade over and over as the goddesses had demanded every time. But, Twilight had felt each of their blood on his skin, had seen their subtle, scared smiles, heard the first bubbling of laughter that left their lips in the middle of hell.
Twilight had to admit it to himself, maybe he had let them close without even realizing, perhaps he never had a choice in the matter. The urge to let go never once burned along his skin, and the realization slowly dawning over Twilight just made him hold onto Wild all the more tighter.
He didn’t want to let go.
He didn’t want to let go of Wild, he didn’t want to let go of any of them.
The blackened pulse of gloom was still embedded itself into his shoulder, but Twilight couldn’t muster the same fear that had scratched at his nerves mercilessly only minutes before. Twilight felt his limbs slowly come back to themselves, the sun straining across the horizon casting a soft, golden glow over the two of them and the dissipating grim disappearing before Twilight’s eyes with every subtle wave of the river’s current. The world breathed around them as Wild sniffled softly into his neck, pulling back painfully slow until Twilight was welcomed by his slightly reddened eyes.
Twilight could only smile, the very sight of it bringing a watery smile to Wild’s own face that immediately made him laugh into the blissful quiet. The forest ruffled with the sound, the bubbling laughter reverberating softly until collapsing back to soft chuckles, the sound bringing an indulgent smile to Twilight’s face before he stood up. Twilight hardly had to think to extend his hand towards Wild, the action causing Wild to lapse back into silence as he stared at the hand.
Twilight waited, and waited even more, until the hesitant embrace of Wild’s scarred hand joined his own and Twilight effortlessly pulled him to his side.
“C’mon, I’m sure the others are starting to get worried, and it won’t be long until it’s dark. Are you ready to go?” Wild’s answering nod was all the answer that Twilight needed, starting the short trek back to the haphazard camp that awaited them.
“...Are you… are you going to show them?” Twilight felt more than saw how Wild glanced onto his still exposed shoulder, the tattered remains of his sleeve left abandoned somewhere within the riverbed.
“...Yes, we’re all fighting by each other’s side, have been all this time, what’s one more bump on the road?” A comforting smile contrasted against Wild’s own worried one, the expression sputtering out as Twilight knocked into Wild, laughter bubbling back up from his chest as Wild gave an irritated look before straightening with a huff.
“Are you sure?” Twilight more than heard the hidden fear in Wild’s voice as he curled into himself at the indecision of the question, guilt once again curling in his eyes before Twilight gave an agreeable noise.
“I’m sure, I promise that it’ll all be fine.” Twilight felt the truth entertain his words, along with a thousand different meanings and promises intertwined with it. “Even if it isn’t, just stay by my side. That’s all I ask of you.” Images of an empty desert and an endless void of grief stretched along the expanse of Twilight’s mind as he blinked, the words dripping with it a painful kind of sincerity and desperation that rang painfully loudly in his ears.
The guilt fell from Wild’s eyes, instead being replaced with a kind of thoughtful contemplation at Twilight’s words as he fell silent. Ghosts haunted all of them, some more bittersweet than others, and Twilight knew with a bone-deep, terrifying certainty that Wild reflected the kind of understanding that scarily few knew, or felt. The kind of understanding that came from being ripped open and the world placed on your shoulders, only able to watch as everything you loved slipped away from you.
But you couldn’t flinch, or share the pain, as the hero never shoulders the responsibility with someone else, never voices their despair as they’re crushed alive.
Midna teased the edges of Twilight’s memory for a bittersweet moment, the faint image bringing with it an old ache of pain that was only softened as Wild gave a small, hesitant smile of his own after a moment.
“Not going to ask for anything more? That’s it?” Wild’s smile took on a mischievous edge, the misery from earlier dissipating with every step until Wild kept up in time by Twilight’s side with a smirk that had Twilight giving a self-indulgent eye roll.
“I have to juggle you, Warriors, Time, and Sky. Trust me, I’m having to deal with more than plenty already, like Sky isn’t the absolute worst by himself-” The giggling of laughter is expected, but Twilight can’t help the wide smile that stretches over his face, drinking in the sound until it brings with a warmth that hums along with the skip of his steps.
“Just stay, even as much of a menace as you are.”
“Really, that’s all?”
“That’s all I could ever ask of you, Wild.”
#hyrules curse#this is just a scene that I randomly got inspo for and I wanted to write it! this is just the beginning of the gloom stuff#for context. all of them are corrupted with gloom. twilight is just the first one besides wild for it to manifest#trust me. the others are not far behind. and its so early in its development that theyre not suffering severe sideffects#thats urm. gonna change. but rn theyre pretty much fun. for now :smile:#I need to eventually start posting this shit to ao3 damn
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having processing issues can suck, but it's funny when you're with people who know you have them. i love it when i reply with 'yes' and theres a little pause because they know i might actually process what they said and go 'wait crap nope nevermind i mean no'
#and if anyone has a conversation with me and goes#urm... what the scallop???#you replied to me properly first try???#thats because i can process things at a regular pace if i really put in the effort to hear every word#and some days its easier than others to put in that extra effort#spouting to the void#autism
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last rb reminded me but Netflix is also removing psych 🧍♂️ thankfully I've already finished it but I started rewatching and it's like...those are my boys.. where would I be without shawn and gus...? myboys
#urm disclaimer i dont pay for netflix my mum does and i mooch off her#my things#fuck them so much for removing monk auuuugghhhhhhhhhhh#watching tv shows on other streaming sites ..its just difficult#netflix canmake it up to me by adding columbo .. 😸
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Not the best survival strategy probably
Me: *finally gets into drawing*
me: yay I'm drawing :)
me: *95% of the drawing is done*
me: you know what, I don't feel confident it's good enough :/
*stops working on the 95% finished drawing and posts nothing*
meanwhile some AI dude: yep I'll post 50 generated images that barely differ from each other all at once as separate posts, why not
#last year I had a period of time when I made several Alita fan arts and they're almost finished#and then I just left them and didn't touch them since months :/#similar thing happened to my URM fanfic but I eventually finished it and published#sorry for comparison but that reminds me of Idiocracy movie#those who worried and cared went extinct#tho the problem is on both sides#like dude pick the best ones among those 50 or put them all together on one big canvas but dont flood the space like that#this is deviantart problem mainly#meanwhile if I abandon all the things I do that won't lead me anywhere#even comparing to other 'human artists'
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im back c:
details under the cut
OK. i have much to say so get ready...
first of all... the tails... i just think its fun. i mean its oz theres magic one of them is green so. why not tails too.
the first one is beach day 🤭 its been a long day galindas been fooling around w fiyero and the other boys and nessa allll day she needs a nap (and elphaba is all so accommodating and happy to serve as pillow. shes warm, theres a comforting weight on her tummy, galinda smells good, theres a slight breeze, she can hear her friends playing a few feet away, she has a book to read, its calm...) also dw abt galinda getting sunburnt... shes reapplied sunscreen like 10 times now (w the help of both elphaba and fiyero) and she doesnt burn so easily more like she tans... u should probably be worried abt boq. also abt elphabas leg hair.. i just dont think she shaves or anything. i could go more into details but weve already had a lengthy talk abt hairiness over here on the blur so. ill leave it at that.
the second drawing was my first elphaba with a tail drawing! i was thinking abt how having a tail would affect her like the green skin. at first i was thinking she was the only one with a tail or maybe only munchkins have tails and then i was like oh fuck it everybody have tails so i also drew galindas c: i think elphaba would usually wear a cover on her tail like she covers every part of her body and galinda would wear bows and stuff just dazzle it out
also in the galinda drawing shes writing a letter :
"Dearest, darlingest Momsie and Popsicle,
Elphie and I are doing splendidously. She amazifies me further every new tomorrow. I miss you both so ever very much."
lol
OK MOVING ON. i drew gelphie in cynthia and ariana suits cuz they were just soooooo good i hope u love it
the next drawing i drew inspired by the 2001 revamp of the lyrics and they say "who would love the wicked, who would ever kiss their eyes, who would lay a lily on their grave"
i also made it my playlist's cover! you can check it out here, tell me ur thoughts if u listen to it c:
I DREW WICKED X SEVERANCE i have SO MANY THOUGHTS abt it but i dont wanna write them down rn just know its not exactly 1:1... in order its my version of fiyero, boq, galinda, and elphaba
urm and then poison ivy 🤤 with braids that turn into plants..... i just thought the idea was inspired
next doodle is dulcibear and baby elphaba bc i do believe dulci wouldve given her affection as much as she coulld, when she wasnt busy
and a doodle i did for moot who gave me nitro. theyre looking at each other with autism in the eyes
okay im done i hope u have a nice day!
#wicked#gelphie#elphaba thropp#galinda upland#severance#wicked boq#fiyero tigelaar#dulcibear#poison ivy#tailphaba#tailinda
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once i send in this draft of my dissertation im going to reward myself with some drawing
#me <- going crazy AUGHHH#kiki rambles#im going to be an ibd expert at the end of this essay#im going into my exams and being like urm actually ☝️🤓 the 100+ papers ive read says other wise#jk i dont know shit
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the good thing about dating is that when im sad over the person my appetite goes away and i become skinny #healthymindset
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Remus: James… why do you have bite marks on your arms?
James: *sweating nervously* OH- oh, Urm I was babysitting my little cousin and- and he bites. haha.
Remus: *raises one eyebrow*
Sirius: *sympathetic* That sucks mate. Reggie was a fucking biter too- reckon I’ve still got scars from the little shit.
James: *quietly squeaks*
Remus: *raises the other eyebrow*
James: … I’ve got to go *absolutely bolts*
Sirius: what was that about?
Remus: *sighs* It would appear that you and James have the same cousin.
#black brothers#marauders incorrect quotes#marauders#sirius black#james potter#remus lupin#wolfstar#regulus black#james & peter & remus & sirius#Jegulus#starchaser#regulus is a biter. argue with the wall#Sirius and regulus are cousins and brothers…
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Man, I have issues, huh. Anyway I'm going to bed about it
#do I need to talk to someone about it? ya probably. yeah. but will I..? not sure.....#idk I was also just thinking about this at work today and some other things and it's just. wow. the repression of it all.#haaaaahaha . ha. . you see. urm. you know? sometimes you do stuff to yourself for years on end and the world enforces those actions#and you spiral. for years. and then you hide that part of yourself and just kind of hope it doesn't find the exit#because there's too much on the line now. you can't make a mistake. you don't want to look that part of you in the eye#I'm just scared of acknowledging what I already know tbh. and fuck I gotta talk to somebody... but will I?#or do I just hope that part of me will be lost for just another day? I don't know.#hahahaha do you want to **** *** ****** ******* ***** ** ********* ** ** ***** *** *** ***** ***#-*** *** ***** ******* ** ***** ******* *** **** ** ******* ***** ******* *** * ******#******* *** **** ** ******* ***** **** ******#im not giving any vowels there's so much mental illness there. im going to bed.
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