#and we have to video call a lot now thats it's summer

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I was just listening to a song I used to love while we were friends. I listened to it so often, we talked so often, it became the background music to our relationship.

I'm listening to it while I knit. I often forget that I started knitting because of you. I remembered tonight. It's strange, I never knitted anything for you. I've knitted for other loved ones, rarely for myself, but never for you. I remembered you showing me the amazing things you made, and I wished I could get to that level of skill. But at that time, you had to explain to me how to purl because I couldn't get it.

Everything reminds me of you in a terrible way. Everything I do is an echo of you. I started painting so that I could paint for you. I started knitting to bond with you. I hear your voice in the music I listen to. You're haunting the things that I love. Will I ever make a brush stroke or stitch without you on my mind?

[jrueships]

diggs isn't leaving his contract got restructured a few days ago 😭 https://twitter.com/FieldYates/status/1635806231691505665?s=20

diggs doing all that drama just to restructure and fly his ass off to Paris so he doesn't have to hear the hoorays or celebrations..

[zooophagous]

So why do you hate the advertising industry?

Hokay so.

Let me preface this with some personal history. It's not relevant to the sins of the advertising industry perse but it illustrates how I started to grow to hate it.

I wanted to be a veterinarian growing up, but to be a vet you basically have to be good enough to get into medical school. I do not have the math chops or discipline to make it in medical school. I went into art instead, and in a desperate attempt to find some commercial viability that didn't involve moving to California, I went into graphic design.

I've been a graphic designer for about seven or eight years now and I've worn a lot of hats. One of them was working in a print shop. Now, the print shop had a lot of corporate customers who had various ad campaigns. One of them was Gate City Bank, which had a bigass stack of postcards ordered every couple months to mail to their customers.

Now, paper comes from Dakota Paper, and they make their paper the usual way. Somewhere far, far from our treeless plain there is a forest of tall trees. These trees are cut down and put on big fossil fuel burning trucks and hauled to a paper mill that turns them into pulp while spewing the most fowl odors imaginable over the neighboring town and loads the pulp up with bleach to give it a nice white color.

Then the paper is put on yet another big truck and hauled off to the local paper depot, then put on another big truck and delivered to my print shop, where I turned the paper into postcards telling people to go even deeper into debt to buy a boat because it's almost summer. The inks used are a type of nasty heat sensitive plastic that is melted to the surface of the paper with heat. Then the postcards are put on yet ANOTHER truck and sent to the bank, which puts them on ANOTHER truck and finally into the hands of their customers, who open their mail and take one look at the post card and immediately discard it.

Heaps and heaps and literal hundreds of pounds of literal garbage created at the whim of the marketing team several times a year. And thats just one bank in one city.

I came to realize very quickly that graphic design was the delicate art of turning trees into junk mail.

And wouldn't you know it there are a TON of companies that basically only do junk mail. Many of them operate under the guise of a "charity," sending you pictures of suffering children or animals and begging for handouts and when they get those handouts the executives take a nice fat cut, give some small token amount to whatever cause they pay lip service to, and then put the rest of the cash right back into making more mailers. "Direct mail marketing" they call it.

Oh but maybe it's not so bad, you can advertise online after all. Now that there's decent ad blocker out there and better anti-virus ads usually don't destroy your computer anymore just by existing.

Except now when I search for the exact business I want on Google it's buried under three or four different "promoted search items" tricking me into clicking on them only to shoot themselves in the foot because I searched for the specific result I wanted for a reason and couldn't use those other websites even if I felt like it.

And now we have advertising on YouTube and on every streaming service, forcing more and more eyes onto the ad for the brand new Buick Envision that parks itself because you're too stupid to do it on your own.

Oh thats ok maybe I'll get Spotify premium and go ad free and listen to some podcasts- SIKE we have the hosts of your show doing the song and dance now. Are you depressed and paranoid from listening to my true crime podcast about murdered and mutilated teenagers? That's ok, my sponsor Better Help can keep you sane enough to stay alive and spend more money.

It's gotten so terrible that now you have content farms, huge hubs of shell companies that crank out video after video to get more and more precious clicks. Which if the videos were innocuous maybe that wouldn't be so awful except now you have cooking hacks that can actually burn your house down and craft hacks that can electrocute you being flung into your eyes at the speed of mach fuck so some slimy internet clickbait jockey doesn't need to get a real job.

It of course goes without saying that animals are also relentlessly exploited by clickbait companies that will put them in compromising situations on purpose to create a fake fishing hack video or even just straight up killing them for sport by feeding small animals to a pufferfish that rips them apart for the camera.

And all of this, ALL of this doesn't even touch how adveritising is the death of art in general. Queer topics, any kind of interesting art, any kind of sex or substance use topics are scrubbed clean and hidden at the behest of advertisers.

Sex education, a nude statue, topics such as racism or sexism or bigotry in general have tags purged or hidden from search, even life saving information about SDTs or drug use, because if someone saw that and complained then Verizon might sell fewer tablets and we can't fucking have that.

Conservative talking heads often bitch and moan that they're being censored on social media. The stupid part is, they're right! They are being censored! But it's not by a woke mob, it's by ATT and Coca Cola not wanting their adspace sharing screen time with their stupid fucking opinions.

However, they won't ever figure that out, because the talking heads they get their marching orders from like Tucker and Jones ALSO rely on the sweet milk flowing from the sponsorship teat and they aren't about to turn on their meal ticket so they have to come up with even stupider shit to say for the train to continue rolling.

I managed to rant this far without even getting into the ads I see for the beauty industry. The other day a botox ad described wrinkles as "moderate to severe crows feet" as if wrinkles are a symptom of a fucking serious disease! Like having a flaw in your skin is a medical problem that you need thousands of dollars of literal botulism toxin to fix! I was incandescent with anger.

Advertising is a polluting, censoring, anti educational and anti art industry at it's very core. It destroys human connections, suppresses human thought and makes us hate our own bodies. It ads no value, actively detracts from value, and serves no real purpose and I believe it should be almost if not entirely banned.

[imperatorrrrr]

Can you please do NICO HISCHIER SCHOLARS REPORT part 2?

I'm sorry this is so incredibly late, Anon, but let's go.

So we're going to be doing a deep dive into this Nico Hischier interview from Summer 2021. (Fair warning, these interviewers are...annoying ahahah to say the least, and sometimes do not shut up, but there are some gems from this.) I feel like I haven't seen a lot of content from this video, so I thought it might be a good one to share and also discuss...

First things first, Nico's giving this interview from Switzerland, and from the way he's positioned, I'm going to say he's giving this interview lying on his bed or something. The phone is facing up towards the ceiling and he's kind of facing the phone on top? Like I guess he could have laid the phone flat on a desk of some kind? Regardless, its an interesting choice of positioning to give an interview!

Fun Fact! This is Nico's first time meeting "Mike" and this Mike person ends up being someone that Nico stays connected with. Do you guys remember the sauna pictures and videos from this past season? That was courtesy of this very same Mike.

We all know Nico played a variety of sports growing up, but we learn here that Nico also played tennis, which I think is a new one to add to the list as well as swimming, skiing, and eventually switching to snowboarding.

Nico lived with a billet family. There's a great article that details that. Check it out here.

From youth, Nico was playing hockey with guys older than him.

"I had a really good season there" - big smile when talking about Halifax

He's still in touch with his Halifax teammates.

There's a bit in this interview, which unfortunately gets cut off due to connectivity issues, but basically Nico's asked about whether he was given a hard time by anyone bigger/older than him and I think his answer pretty much sums up the philosophy he has in the NHL now. "It never bothered me...these guys who were talking shit about me, I just didn't care, and just kept going."

"I had fun. Still now, I just have fun playing hockey and hanging out with the guys." - This quote I think is the epitome of Nico Hischier. Like, throw it back to Nico's pre-game speech before one of the playoff games "remember to have fun". That's Nico's entire hockey essence. And then throw it back to the win streak in the 22-23 season "this is the most fun playing hockey I've ever had". He just wants to hang out with his boys and have a good time.

Nico did a little bit of high school while he was in Canada.

One of the interviewers calls Nico "mister easy going, always playful". One of the times Nico met this man, he did a back flip off a bench in the gym. Like, thats Nico Hischier. He's not always mister serious, he's not always Nico Hischier Resting Face™️. He's just a silly little guy.

On Expectations: "I always try to keep that on the outside, always try to focus me on myself...I'll try my best every game, if its not enough its not enough...sacrifice myself for the team...at the end of the career, I obviously want people to say that he was a great player, but its almost like a little bit more important for me to have people say that I was a great teammate, I was a great guy to hang around with, lots of fun. This is my goal a little bit." Like how can you not love the guy?!

There's a whole bit about Nico taking a puck to the face (this was when PK Subban's shot hit Nico in the face back in the February 2021). He talks about the surgery and the actually medical procedures involved. I'm not going to get into the specifics here in case folks are squeamish, but just an FYI its in the interview. If you're not squeamish its very interesting, but trust me you want to skip that part if you are. He goes into detail.

One of the things Nico enjoys the most about playing hockey is the traveling to other cities.

What do you attribute your success to? Nico talks about his family that always supported him. Talent isn't all you need, you need to work hard as well. He talks about how he did things that maybe have been considered "weird" by his peers. When he was fourteen/fifteen he went to Pilates once a week with his sister. He was the only guy in the class. Loves to try new things. If you're not having fun then its not worth it.

Sidenote for anyone wondering about the Devils jersey hanging above Nico? Fairly certain thats a Patrik Elias jersey. If you wanna be in your feels for a bit.

"I do believe in our team. I'm just excited about what's coming up." - this was summer 2021. He has believed for a while that this team has it in them to compete truly.

Nico's inability to say the word "rivalry" will always always always make me smile.

"I want to put the team in front of me."

So during this entire interview, the two hosts are cursing throughout, and near the end Nico says "fuck" and immediately apologizes.

Nico believes he was picked as Captain for the person he is off the ice. "I'm an easy going guy. I don't really have a problem with anyone. I'm just guy you can have fun with. You can come over to my place. We can have a couple of beers, talk about anything, doesn't have to be hockey. If I see a friend is not playing his best, I'm not trying to fuck with him, I'll go talk to him. I'll try to help him."

One of the interviewers ends the interview by saying "you're a special dude"

And that's that. Tried something different with this edition of Nico Scholars, so I hope ya'll liked it.

[fartquen12]

"ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ɪɴᴄᴀꜱᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴅɪᴇ."

Carl Grimes x Fem! Reader.

// I had an idea for this fic for a while and I have finally pulled it together lmao. Hope you all love it <3 //

TW: Mentions of weapons, mentions of death, lots of smut.

|You only notice how you feel about Carl in the worst moment.|

There you sat covered in blood. Thats the childhood memory you remember best. Sitting on your porch waiting for your parents to come trick or treating with you. You thought a lot about your childhood. The apocolypse had just began and all you had was memories. You wanted more.

You had no one now, you were alone. You were 15 when the virus broke out. You saw the first few videos on the news. Confused, scared. You had no clue what would happen to the world.

You thought it might just disappear atleast that's what you hoped for... that's what you prayed for. Needless to say now you had been with a group for a while.. and to the looks of it... the end was nowhere near.

"Y/N!"

A voice called out interrupting your thoughts. It was Carl, a boy around your same age... you had known him for a while now... you didn't know how long but a couple summers and winters.. that's how you counted time. He had been the one that took care of you when your parents died. He was your bestfriend. "Yeah?" You replied, he was running towards you from the distance.

"Its late.. however if you're not too tired I need someone to come with me into town." He said out of breath. "How come..?" You asked. "I have to go grab some things for Daryl... I don't want to go alone." He sighed. "Yeah, ok sure. Just let me grab my bag." You nodded reaching for the bag of guns next to you in the field.

"C'mon.. we will make it fast." Carl said tugging your arm and before you knew it you were off into the night, again. The town wasn't far, luckily. You both had made it in 20 minutes and had no problems. It was pretty clear. There were no walkers. You both had split up and gathered the items. That's when it all happened... so fast.

"Hey Carl..-" you said hearing footsteps behind you. Unfortunately for you once you turned around you saw a walker coming at you jaw wide open and in a quick moment without thought you scrambled to grab your gun and shoot it right between the eyes. The gun was loud. Extremely loud. Carl came running in your direction after hearing the gunshot. "What the hell Y/N! We don't want anyone to hear us." He yelled. "Well excuse me I was about to get eaten." You yelled back. "You can't just yell and shoot your gun like that!" He exclaimed. "Well, it worked." You smiled. He shook his head. "C'mon, we gotta get going." He said grabbing your wrist and pulling you out of the building. "Holy shit." said Carl as you two exited the building you were faced with dozens of walkers all noticing you two.

"Run." He said, yanking your hand and dragging you quickly through alleyways trying to gain distance. "Carl!" You screamed in fear as he pulled you, dodging every walker in sight. You had managed to lose most of them but some had managed to keep up. You kept running, turning and twisting through every possible exit until there was none. You were cornered.

"Shit." Carl muttered. "We have to jump." You said looking at the window above the dumpster. So Carl hoisted you up above the dumpster and you quickly examined the area for something... anything stiff enough to break a window. But before you could even get a good look-

shatter

Carl jumped into the building scanning the room for any walkers and when he saw none he grabbed you and pulled you down with him. "You good?" He asked. "Yeah... just a scratch." You replied, your arm stung from the glass.

"We're trapped in here. Lets just wait until morning..." he said looking around for somewhere to hide. He found a janitorial closet. Small, Hidden, and Sturdy. He basically threw you in there and locked the door behind the two of you. "Well this is nice." You said sarcastically. "Shh" he hushed you placing a finger to your lips. You hadn't ever said anything.. but you thought Carl was quite attractive. Infact you were pretty sure everyone thought he was attractive. He was two years older than you, the apocalypse had made him a man.

You always found yourself admiring him, not like a crush, more like a friend crush? You weren't sure. But in the moment you were sitting in the dark closet face to face, chest to chest, leg to leg, and all you could do was try and not blush. You were pretty sure your face was red. You tried to shift away but he only pulled you closer. "What are you doing?" You asked. "Trying not to die." He whispered, his warm breath hitting your face. "G-Good idea..." you muttered, your heartbeat speeding up. He could feel your heart beating, pounding against your chest. His touch made you shiver.

And his breath in your face made your body react in a way it never had before. "Y/N... " he said softly. "Yeah..." you replied, the air was thick and you were sure it was the tension. "Are you alright?" he asked in a whisper. "Y-Yes... I'm fine." You whispered, trying to look away. He put his hand on your cheek. "Stop moving around, they'll notice us." He whispered. You stopped. You could hear his breathing. It was heavy, almost like a sigh. "Are you ok Carl..?" You asked him. "Yeah.." he replied, he was quiet. "Are you sure?" You questioned.

"Yeah..." he responded, again, still quiet. "Are you su-" shhhh he hushed, again placing his finger on your lips. He placed his forehead against yours and let out a deep sigh. "Y/N..." he muttered, his tone low and gruff. "Mhm...?" You mumbled, looking up at him. He looked at you, his eyes piercing through the darkness and staring into your soul. His face was so close. "Y/N.. can I.." he whispered, his tone shaky. "Can you what?" You asked.

Without warning he pulled your face closer and his lips brushed yours. He lingered for a minute and then backed away. "Shit... I'm sorry..." he apologized, his face full of embarrassment. "No.. don't be... that was..." you paused trying to think of the right words. "Amazing." You finished, leaning in and kissing him back. He returned the kiss. It was gentle at first but then became rougher. He pushed his lips against yours and ran his tongue across your lips, begging for entry. You granted him entrance and his tongue was in your mouth. He explored every inch and bit down on your lip, causing you to moan into his mouth. You could tell it turned him on because he pushed his body closer to yours and began sucking and biting your neck, leaving marks. "Carl." You moaned as he grinded his hips against yours, his hands exploring every part of your body. He unbuttoned your shirt and slipped it off. "What are you-"

"Just incase we die." He says when...

BANG BANG BANG

"BRO... WHAT WAS THAT!!!" you yelled out. THATS WHEN JOHN STAMOS CAME BUSTING IN AND BEGAN HUMPING A BROOM AND FARTING ON BOTH OF YOU GUYS. "HOW BA-A-A-A-AD CAN I BE!!" YELLS OUT ONE OF THE WALKERS. THATS WHEN THE WHOLE HOARD CAME BUSTING IN AND ONE ZOMBIE TURNED ON SKIBIDI TOILET AND IN SYNC ALL OF THE THOUSOUNDS OF WALKERS CAME PILING INTO THE CLOSET AND BEGAN HITTING THE GRIDDY EVERYWHERE AND POOPING. "SHIT!!" CRIES OUT CARL AS HE TURNS TO YOU. "JUST RUN!!" HE SHOUTS. "WE NEED A PLAN." YOU SHOUT BACK. "YO POOP!" CARL SAYS DIVING HEAD FIRST INTO A PILE OF WALKER POOP. "OH, OKAY." YOU REPLY, DOING THE SAME. YOU AND CARL BECOME SO DIRTY THAT YOU DISAPPEAR INTO THE POOP. "HMMM, DID WE DO IT BRO?? DID WE SUCCEED?" YOU ASK. "I DON'T KNOW... LET ME TEST." CARL SAYS, REACHING UP AND TUGGING AT A ZOMBIE'S CROTCH. "I DON'T THINK IT'S WORKING." YOU TELL HIM. "I HAVE AN IDEA." CARL SAYS, UNZIPPING HIS PANTS. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING." YOU ASK HIM. "MY FAVORITE MAGIC TRICK." HE REPLIES, BEFORE SLIDING OFF HIS PANTS AND BREATHING FIRE FROM HIS BUTT. "WOAH!" YOU SAY, AS YOU WATCH HIM SPEW FIRE AT THE WALKERS. "I HAVE A SECOND PART TO THIS." CARL SAYS, SLIDING OFF YOUR PANTS. "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?!" YOU ASK. "DO IT FOR DARYL!" HE SAYS, SHOOTING YOU INTO THE WALKERS WITH FIRE. "BRUUUU THATS SICK!" YOU YELL OUT DOOKIE FALLING INTO YOUR MOUTH "YOUR SICK BRO!" SAYS CARL "OKAY BRO BUT LIKE... NO HOMO." YOU SAY "NO HOMO WE SLEEP BUTT TO BUTT" CARL SAYS GRABBING YOUR HAND AND THEN YOU GUYS HIT THE GRIDDY WITH ALL OF THE WALKERS.

AND SO THERE YOU SAT

COVERED IN POOP

THE END!!!!!!!

HOPED YOU GUYS LOVED THIS FIC AS MUCH AS I DO <3

[iodrawsandtalks]

A long-ass testimonial as a player of Honkai: Star Rail. please read if you have the time. I wish all honkai content creators would bear to understand this

goin through exhaustion rn but thats just normal and not something id complain about. Anyways when this game released in summer 2023, I was just as hyped as everybody else. I had started playing since the last closed beta where I had gotten bailu and mained qingque cuz she felt so real for being lazy on the job plus i LOVED playing hard and winning big.

I had a fun time later when the game ACTUALLY did release though I had to say goodbye to my bailu who I replaced with Clara and mained Seele who I knew from playing Honkai Impact for quite a while. I felt like i fit in with every other HI3/HSR player, running high spd seele with bronya and taking my silver wolf to every Simulated Universe fight, and laughing about getting rolled by the blue gorilla that hates when people use skills. I laughed at the launch memes everyone else was laughing at and usually was the first person to beat new bosses fights and stories when they came out.

I've realized that just because you think you fit in with people, doesn't mean they'll act like you do fit. They watch you trip, and struggle, and when the thing you like starts slinging venom at you, they let you fall. They laugh when you get hurt and protect what hurt you. Now when I started this game, as a black guy I was aware dumb, racist things were gonna pop up, as we know with genshin impact with the whole ass glass bottle floating around calling desert explorers/fighters "sand-lickers", and Honkai Impact's one black character being one who hates her dark skin and bleaches it consistently with makeup. She's also the only character to never get special outfit effects. Naturally, I did not bat an eye at the dark skin lightning guy having the SHACKLE BREAKER and SWIFT HARVEST SKILLS.

as we may know im a lore guy who thinks a lot. there is no "character reference" or wordplay that holds up here. This is dumb associations made to dark skinned individuals for doing slave work(harvesting.) and being held in chains(shackle). Anyways somehow even though this eluded me, I found it odd that the one dark skinned character in the roster was the bad one. People would make all kinds of excuses but never show anything concrete. Arlan himself is lacking the skill point mechanic which literally bars him from an entire simulated universe path. see my notes on him here . Point is this got worse as time went on, to a point where this fan that was still crazy hyped after the Xianzhou arc hype was watching every promotional video for the next region. Penacony, and got hit with the revelation that their next region was going to be based on the Jazz Age. Jazz is known throughout the world as one of the most widely celebrated creations of black people for the rest of the world, and the soul of Jazz, Funk, Pop, and many other types of music rest in black history, black stories, and black emotions. I'd rather not revisit the complete amalgation of this soul that is that dumb fucking region with the slave master and the incel-heaven slur slinger invading the quantum meta, but I should still add that the story is an incredibly half-assed take at introducing evil concepts like slavery and trying to add nuance to them. I played through so many routes where there was some implication of slavery benefitting a future society, and there was this one awful point i had to check out at where the player uses CLOCKWORK TO FIX THE MIND OF A DISCONTENT FREED SLAVE SO THEY SEEK THEIR MASTER AGAIN. There is no "makes sense in context" or "theres lore behind this" because that should be taken at face value. Their disgusting apparition of the Jazz Age should not be justified and glorified the way it is today. I believe in protecting the history of those who paved the way for me and I also would like to believe that I shouldn't have to fight to not deal with mockery within games or shows I enjoy. This whole experience I've had has tainted this game for me. I was listening through my fighting game playlist earlier and WHITE NIGHT came on. The first time I had heard it I thought it was amazing and wanted to make a cover of it and enter the 2024 fan art contest. But when I heard it for the most recent time, I wanted to vomit. This 'fun party' song was empty and felt like it was slinging lies of joy and entropy in my face. I couldn't celebrate the media that glorified excusing my people from society. And I really don't get WHY everyone else does. As somebody whose played a lot of mainstream games I've seen a crowd that acts woke to social issues and seemed to stand up in the face of injustice. I don't KNOW any internet culture so i thought activist = good person. recently ive seen and interacted with a lot of "activists" that were willing to watch this billion dollar company perpetuate racism, stereotypes and appropriation. This is usually because the company had given them a "complex" png with "emotions" that was "coded" to be made for them. and their character's emotions outrank real people's emotions in their interactions. these activists were more likely to listen to the billion dollar company's machinations of a white girl fairy princess or whatever their latest obsession was, than real people.

its been tiring and its been sickening. excuse me for being too real for a second but I AM SICK AND TIRED OF MENTALLY ILL WHITE PEOPLE ONLINE TELLING ME RACISM IS A CHARACTER TRAIT OR SOMETHING THAT CAN BE DONE RIGHT, OR SOMETHING THAT SPICES UP A NARRATIVE. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. what if we had characters that were abusers, huh? or pedophiles? and what if those characters never had to deal with consequences of their actions? and what if everybody was worshipping the writing team making these hero abusers, and hero pedophiles? would it suddenly make sense then?

can people stop hyping this awful shit up? Pick up a different game or something. stain their brand. Have an audience for your star rail content? can you draw like trees or something,..... instead? this is not a good game and it does not do good things. The developers are incels with a large cult following. They are not good people, they say the right things. stop feeding them. do something else. pick something else up. play something else. I know people may find their games and content dear to yall but if racism is worse to you than losing a game, boycott these rich, selfish snakes.

[squipdop]

HIIIII CAN I ASK ABOUT THE SIX YEARS LATER AU???

Howd they bring up the junior scouts idea to max??? Was he like Whatever sure or super tsundere or surprisingly emotional that they wanted him back after he aged out?? Did anyone else come back or do special day-long visits like how schools bring in visitors? What does max think of the new kids? They all look so cool i love Max's hair!!!!

HI HI HELLO YES OFC!!! :33

Okay so. I call it the '6 years later' AU but technically i have Stuff Planned for all the time that passed between now and then too, so this'll be a bit longer, sorry!!

Max joining the counselor team was actually kind of a natural/gradual development?? Basically, since I can't make CC content that isn't found family Max has a shit home life, and, even if he hates to admit it at first, the three months of summer camp become his bright spot each year. David and Gwen catch on to that, but there isn't much they can do to help outside of camp - until one day Max (age 13/14ish) shows up on Gwen's doorstep because he ran away from home, 'since his parents won't care either way'. While he does return home after hiding out at Gwen's place for a weekend, this kind of kicks off a pattern of Max running away sporadically, to Gwen's, later David's, or his friends places. I could go into more detail here but. this is already long. oop.

ANYWAYS. So with Max spending basically all the time he can away from home and the summers at camp, once he ages out there's. A Bit of panic starting in him once summer gets closer again, because his Safe Place seems inaccessible, and two of his OTHER options, especially for longer stays away from home, would also be unavailable. Gwen and David notice this (it manifests in Max staying over More but Angrier) and try to find a solution. Gwen proposes the Jr Counselor idea. They introduce the idea to Max by kinda implying that workload around camp is a lot, and it'd really hurt to miss one of their most experienced campers, but... maybe, if he worked there too (well, interned. basically unpaid. but! no camp tuition!) he could help them? so they basically give Max a way to say yes without admitting that he's the one who needs camp the most. He does insult the whole thing ofc, and says like he's just doing it because he knows camp would burn down without him there ("actually, most of the fires we had were started by you...?" "shut it, david") but secretly he's really really happy. He might even thank them later that evening. Quietly. Before complaining about it preemptively. <3

WAH THATS ALREADY SUCH A WALL OF TEXT ok ill hurry up w the rest:

While most of the other campers had some rotations over the years, I don't have conk rete plans for most of them - Nikki and Neil are still Max' gang, and returned for multiple summers, if not all. This year though, Neil is busy with college prep, and Nikki is spending the summer at home because of family crisis. They still video call a lot, they're still The Gang. I have sketched designs for them, but I'm not quite happy yet.

Max at first doesn't take his role seriously, because he's basically just Back For Another Summer, but pretty quickly realises Gwen and David DO have expectations, and DO give him responsibilities. He takes a while to come around on his new relationship to the younger kids, and especially one of the youngest kids takes a liking to him, a very anxious young girl, which annoys him at first, but... well. It's a whole ~character arc~ for Max waiting to happen tbh.

OK THANK YOU IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR IM SORRY ITS SO LONG. i wasnt lying when i said i have So Many Thoughts about this. ANYWAYS as thank u for getting this far heres a doodle of Max putting up his hair. :3c

[bexism]

Hi! This is going to come 100% out of nowhere and going to be super long and maybe a bit awkward but I just felt like I should tell you this lol. I feel like we never really get to know with the internet how we effect other people...so here we are.

So I can't remember how I first found your videos like 12 years ago on Youtube but I was absolutely obsessed. I think I watched pretty much anything you posted for Sherlock/Supernatural and followed you on Tumblr. I was going through a really tough time, and your videos/posts helped me! It was around then that you started to post about something called Roosterteeth. I didn't care too much, but noticed it. Then at some point in like 2013, I remember thinking 'I'm going to look into this thing. If the person I follow that also likes SPN/Sherlock/Your Beautiful/etc also likes this...maybe I'll like it.' Thats not something I do, like ever. But since I was so into your videos, I decided to give this thing I had no idea about a chance. I didn't play video games, didn't even know what Minecraft is, so I took such a big chance and started from the beginning. I went down that rabbit hole fast.

Flash forward next summer, I'm a Guardian at RTX in Austin for the first time. My first time ever travelling 100% alone, and to another country! I had the absolute best time. I continued to be a Guardian from 2014-2019, made amazing memories, tired things I never thought I was capable of and made lifetime friends. I also, to bring it all around, was drunk in Austin after RTX and wandered into Jensen Ackles lol. I would have thought it was a hallucination except others saw him too.

When I first started as a Guardian at RTX I was a VERY shy nerd lol, but RTX really helped pull me out of my shell, to the point that I became a manager of sorts there with entire teams working under me. This confidence stuck with me until now, where I am comfortable doing things I never would of been before. I'm comfortable in crowds, in parties, on stage, etc. I like video games now, which I didn't really before. It's completely changed my life. Not just that, but being a Guardian at RTX helped me pull through a severely traumatic few years of my life.

I don't know what would have happened without RTX. I don't know what would have happened if I didn't decide to follow you on tumblr like 12 years ago. I don't know what would have happened if I didnt take a random chance on your interests being similar to mine. But, my life would be very different.

Anyways, I'm done now. I don't know if you'll ever read this, and thats okay! I just saw you again on Tumblr and wanted to let you know that even though it was completely unintentional, and maybe a bit coincidental, you have changed some random girls life :) For that, I really hope you have an amazing life too!

holy crap i just woke up and i'm really emotional, thank you so so much for telling me this. i never knew making silly little vids on the internet could have such an impact, i'm so proud of you for getting out there, doing RTX and growing from it and i'm SO glad my videos led you to that journey. roosterteeth helped me a lot back in the day and to think i'm the reason someone else found them and they helped them too. thank you for taking the time out of your day to tell me this, you've made me feel incredibly special 🥹 ❤️ (also BUMPED INTO JENSEN ACKLES?? that's absolutely wild)

[cherrycuppacoups]

[ DANCEOLOGY ]

SYNOPSIS; rumours about y/n dating mingyu got dino jealous as they were seen to be together at a parking lot, but little did he know the danceology vid that he shot together with y/n caught fans attention, as fans caught something in the video that y/n and dino didn't realize it might give away that the both of them are in a relationship

GENRE/ WARNINGS; oneshot,mostly fluff, idol!dino x idol!afabreader, there might a slight typos

TAGLIST; @honeyhuii

A/N; sorry ik it been a long time since i posted about the idea, up until now only i have the strength and will to write/type this hehe i hope yall enjoy as this is my first fic >< oh and @honeyhuii hii!! i saw your reply that you wanted to be in the taglist ngehehe sorry i couldn't reply to you cause idk why i can't reply ㅠ ㅠ im still new in this ㅠ ㅠ

DISCLAIMER!!; all in this story is based on my own ideas and if you see someone reposting and translating this fic without my permission do let me know tysm🫶🏻☁️

"GALACTIX Y/N WAS SEEN WITH SEVENTEEN MINGYU IN A PARKING LOT OF "L" DEPARTMENT STORE COULD IT BE THE BOTH OF THEM ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP?"

you read through the article and laugh along with seventeen members and your members as all of you know that the rumour is not true and you are currently dating dino secretly. The day that you and mingyu were seen in the parking lot was when both of you lost from playing games and need to buy some groceries and coffees for the other members as a penalty.

however the speculations of y/n dating mingyu did not die down as y/n's fancam of galactix performing call call call! in Japan is spreading like wild fires on the internet saying that she made a legendary fancam just like mingyu's summer sonic fancam making the fans shipping both them calling them the legendary fancam couple and whats making it more convincing is y/n is taking mingyu's part.

few days after the rumours are still circling around all of you are hanging out in the studio, you noticed that dino was not being his usual self and participating less in the conversations as if he was it deep thoughts.you assumed that he might get bothered because of the rumour as he quite insecure with himself by not being enough lately and he didn't really wanna show that he is lowkey jealous as he might get teased by his hyungs which is a hassle for him and might add to his stress.

so you drag him out if the studio saying you need a coffee break with dino to recharge. after dragging him far enough from the studio, you asked

"chan is there something bothering you?"

"huh? what do you mean? i'm great"

"no. you seem quiet than usual, its the rumour isn't it ?"

"nah i'm just tired from practicing no worries"

"don't lie chan i know its the rumour that is bothering you, why else would you be bothered by some tiredness as i know you nailed your routine during practice and you have endless stamina when it comes to dancing and practicing"

"sighs" "you know me too well bubs, yes it is the rumours i know mingyu hyung wouldn't take you from me but i'm worried you might left me for mingyu hyung cause he is taller than me, has nice and fitter body than me, he's handsome and i'm just me just dino nothing more"

"nu-uh not a word dinosaur you're perfect for me i'm pretty sure you knew that,and what is "just dino" excuse you ? the dino i knew is awesome asf, talented especially dancing he always makes me happy and thats whats important to me okie bubs? oh and one more thing why would i ever leave you for mingyu when i can just date him in the first place right ? i will always love you bubs no matter what people say and rumours out there okie are we clear now ?"

"okay love i love you too"

"now now heads up let's get some coffee and get back to continue our plans for our danceology vid"

After a few days of the uproar the legendary fancam couple Pledis denied the rumours and stating that y/n and mingyu are only great friends nothing more as it was getting out of control.

dino finally can breath easily after Pledis releasing the statement and he is really excited as the danceology video that he has been planning with y/n is finally up agter months of preparing. Both of them decided to publish it after few days of the statement being released to calm the tension down. His first ever content with his bubs ><

[A/N]; pic is not mine as it was taken from a yt vid of LJ Dance video and the song is choice is from dino's dance vid with the backup dancer

You and dino's danceology vids blew up after a few days of release and it is at 5M views as the fans were really excited of your collab because both of you are main dancers for your group. Some fans are happy of the collab and excited for some new collabs since your group have been hanging out alot with SEVENTEEN lately but there some fans that is also unhappy with your interaction as it feels like your group is using SEVENTEEN to get fame and attention. But that didn't stop you from getting excited and happy about first collab content with your boyfriend.

"CHAN CHAN CHAN WE'RE NEARLY AT 6M VIEWS BEIDKWKWOWJS GAH I CAN'T BELIEVE IT"

"calm down bubs and yes we're nearly at 6M views our first content together is a hit!"

Dino was trying calm his nerves as he himself is excited as well but trying to maintain his cool image to you and failed as he runs to hug you tightly🤣 (a/n; channie love you are cute af ㅠㅠ)

2 weeks after the release of the danceology vid the behind the scenes video was release on SEVENTEEN's channel which is Inside Seventeen. Fans love both of your chemistry and interaction as it was natural and not forced and started shipping both of you claiming that both you are cute as a couple and talented dancers.

The idea of both you got shipped together got dino on cloud nine and you have nothing against it as you are equally happy as he is seing that fans shipped you both meaning they technically approved your relationships.

Both of your groups were shocked when the article was released because all of you were pretty sure there is nothing suspicious and odd happens in both of the danceology video and also the inside seventeen video that would giveaway your relationship. But soon the it was leaked that your necklace with a ring as a pendant was seen in the video and the ring was the same as dino's ring that always wear on his middle finger.

Fans started to realized that your photos on twitter and instagram with dino's were almost identical but were posted in different time

Both fandoms are in ecstasy as both of the groups main dancer are dating and what makes it more exciting they have their own dance collab which is basically the danceology video. Fans were so convinced and starting bombarding both of you and dino's instagram comment section of congratulating both of you without even waiting for a statement from both of your agency.

You and Dino were actually in shocked cause both of you didn't even plan to reveal your relationship as both of think it is too early and you want to keep it lowkey. Of course both of you got some earful lecture of being careless but both party are in a win win situation your relationship is being loved by the fans and the agency received lots of offer for both of you to be models and ambassadors of brands.

"i really didn't expect our relationship would be known to the world this way bubs"

"me either HAAHA oh well as long as we're loved and safe from harm that is all i need. oh! does this mean i can post you whenever i want?"

"Of course bubs! i love how we don't have to be a secret anymore!! It's great to be on luck side i love you chan"

"I love you too bubs"

with that you end your day expecting for another hit on your danceology video with Dino but instead you're ending your day with an instagram of Dino sleeping and thanking fans for the wishes.

A/N; thats all for my first dino fic!!! gahhh finallyy i think the storyline is kinda meh and rushed but i hope yall will like it >< please tell me if there is something i can and need to improve! stay tuned for more fics!!

[rosellerivers19]

Raayan- I have high hopes (thank you tamil cinema)

I have for some time lost hope in telugu cinema improving in diversity of tropes and performances but with recent stars and movies I have been brought back

Gam gam ganesha, prasanna vadanam, Hi nanna (kinda iffy for some reason but diverse storyline), and Hanuman

And I am waiting to see Kalki 2829 AD which I think will be definitely a big game changer given its dystopian setting something Indian cinema hasn't really approached a lot before especially on this kind of budget.

I've been limited to telugu movies for a long time because language barrier but due to subtitles and Telugu dubs my options have increased recently I watched the hindi movie Maharaj on Netflix in telugu which I really loved despite people claiming its hinduphobic while the movie is based on a real case and the movie claims yet again how hindu practices aren't bad but people misusing them is then again not a lot of people have comprehension or actually watched the movie and jump the train on any movie that slightly criticizes the religion or even raises just a few questions

*cough* *cough*

"Hindi movie PK starring Amir Khan"

I've watched a few good tamil cinemas when I was younger I didn't watch a lot of Dhanush movies because of the language barrier the only one I saw maybe was Maari 1 and 2 because it was dubbed in telugu but now I've grown to watch a lot more realizing he has a lot of diverse scripts and am so glad this man exists I need to binge his movies over the summer.

So I was listening to telugu songs on youtube when I came across this one called

"Peechu Mithaya"- telugu version

It's from the upcoming movie Raayan and oh my god just seeing this lyric video made me want to pay anything for this movie to come out right now and watch it.

Not only is the music beautiful ( i can listen to this for hours I don't know how I found this gem but I did and I'm grateful)

But the visuals and implications we are given is something I am screaming for.

PLUS SIZED ACTORS ON SCREEN HAVING AN ACTUAL LOVE STORY!!!!

Indian cinema has a lot of colorism especially to heroines especially from what I've seen in telugu movies. And they have to fit this perfect bod I've never seen a heroine be remotely big or a bit chubby even if it would show off their curves thats how the industry is and that saddens me.

But then we get this song and we see Aparna Balamurali who is first of all a plus sized character in the film with a dark complexion not milky white now tamil fans may be used to this but for me being born in Telugu cinema this is a jackpot especially when I have to really dig for inclusive films. The only cinema I've watched which supported a plus sized heroine having a love story is "Size Zero" starring anushka shetty an Iconic queen but I honestly have not seen any other films having a plus sized heroine or at least side heroine as a plus sized character with actual depth where we see her love story or ability to get happiness I think there was one Allari Naresh film but I don't remember it well.

edit: Totally forgot HanuMan existed which is also a good representation even though the mc's sister dies she was empowered and was on the brink of marriage so love that

In the Lyric Video "Peechu Mithaya"

We see an unconventional girl (Aparna Balamurali) who doesn't fit the beauty standards end up with an average/ attractive character (sundeep kishan) or at least have a romantic relationship in the songs visuals and a healthy one so far.

I am primarily gonna be watching this movie for them seeing the side hero carrying the plus sized side heroine brought me joy knowing that it would give hope to other women who aren't the conventional beauty standard or plus sized that they can be loved and have a love story like them that they aren't too heavy and the right guy will do anything to make them feel appreciated.

Look at the way he carries her and looks lovingly into her eyes!!!!!!

And there's just something about seeing this man looking so utterly in love with a girl who thinks she won't be good enough because of her physical appearance or other insecurities and he wants to prove her desperately wrong that makes me go feral.

Do you see what I mean!?!?!?

And I don't know if they will even delve into that kinda trope in the movie but I really wish they will since its something women especially women who've not been exposed to that kind of concept in their media want. Keep in mind we don't even have a trailer for this movie yet so pure speculations

And there's just so many cute clips like-

Nudging each other playfully!?!?!?

Having a couple argument/ confrontation!?!?!?

Riding on a bike together?!?!?!?

*cues internal screaming montage*

I love LOVE especially something so simple yet beautiful we need this more than Pushpa bribing Srivalli with money for kisses and putting his hand in inappropriate places without her consent. Or men just stalking in general and normalizing it????

Now I know that this couple might not even play a big part in the movie maybe one of the characters dies yadayada but knowing that scenes like this exist in the movie and that we'll have an entire song dedicated to THEM just quells my heart.

Dhanush sir thank you for this 4 minute montage that ignited my hope in Indian cinema and is making me want to delve into tamil cinema even more

[tboyblogger]

bit manic so im just posting this to write things down to ground myself feel free to ignore just a psychotic schizoidposting u, mhello im tp im 23 uh,.i like films and comcis and kvideogames and music .ilike

i curentlty like p: uhh spiou e fantazo mysepexial interest😁👍forver.& ilike songs. need to have soudns in my ears 24/7 i like sounds and songs i lie,big thief a lot my favoit band!oh lkately i like avril + burnham (preinside(again too pop rock and punk folk so good to my ears im listening to jumpstyle my heart beats so fast rn you guys ineedsoudns to beb beat 👍 not that emoji i lneed sounds to thump like my heatbeats heart beats. video games yes for video games i like i curenly like tf2 i ondt play i suck at it but i love the comics um evger since i was a teenager i was16 oh i lie, psirou hm but ive always been liking sooiru. hm his name. soirou. soirou.HIS NAME

spirou. yes that is it im so sorry im not the best in typing accurtaely i rely a lot on. suggestion HUH what its call. the words that popup when you type i use it a lot because i cant type? his this mysic is really really lousd right mow i had caffeine so i am shakign...WOWZERS anyways ah yeah yeah i like super mario 👍 yes a lot i like. smrpg (out on the seithc not!! not what i wantsd to say? out on nthe swithc now!!) and m&l and paper mario... yes so

good my favorite is bowser andluigi is a girl 👧 <- girl emoji I LOVE ILOVE..chubirobo... not its name. chibirobo. yes. my favorite home console is the ps2 but i dont have a tv/screenf forit i really want a crt tv... oh uyes i like computers 👍👍👍 i love cds dvds i lovie computera.persocom. and disk readears and muaic players i used to have a cd player all i did when i was in a depressive episode in 2017 was locking myself in my room lying on the floor and let it p,lay my michael jackjson cd it saced saved mylfie

MYLIFE MY life i meant to write my life. my live my life my life my life my life my lofe mylfie. hthat again. not that. my life. this is correct

im so scred... im so scared

ah what els,e.. tf2.. yes that we have alreayd talked about that my favorite is pauling and soldier and ?the dad and boy duo and maybe engie. i like the adminitragior too beacyse toxic yuri 🔥🔥🔥 huh the spacing i didntn mean to do that guys im scraed im scared. ill throwi up oh yi havent stalked HUH I SAID. I HAVE NOT TALKED. yes. have not talked about movies yes! i lvie moviesbut justthe normal amount i lie when there are people and moving pictures scoot piligim series out now i'll wtach that with my big subling soon and then ill tahc watch it again wiht sochoi yes!!!!!!!!!! beautiful world we live in ohhh my life is slipping away from me im so scred. i have to . this. to do this Work ythats what. i like everything that reminds me of spirou and fantasio becuade 😂um i didnnt mean to click this amoji BEcause special interest i love them 😁😁😁 <& treally like thiss emoji. smiels really wide is so friendly is my friend that emoji that... um thats all for mnow i hope i can nread comics and wtahc watch! asteroid city and finish smrpg and chibirobo. and i kwant to go look at images of spirou and fantasio

photo was from wheni was22!!!!! and i got lsot in the woods so i deicsd to do a fit check 😁😁 was last lst last year. summer!m fsummer is fun you van hanout with your Friends yess i love Summer

[megashadowdragon]

New Amazon Show “Venerates Satan & Demons,” Crew Debates Religion & Fiction

youtube comments

They made Lilith the first Feminist....and Lucifer was just a creative liberal art student that his conservative family didn't like

Hazbin Hotel is to the Christian faith as Disney's Hercules is to the actual Greek mythology they absolutely have nothing in common.

My main gripe with the show is that when Charlie interacted with Adam, he talked just as degenerately as the people in hell, every other word out of his mouth was the F word. It would make so much more sense if they behaved in an over-the-top moral way to the point that it's even annoying. The way they did it makes no sense.

Blasphemy isn’t supposed to make sense. This is the diabolical intent of the show. “Being primarily a sin of the tongue, it will be seen to be opposed directly to the religious act of praising God. (2) It is said to be against God, though this may be only mediately, as when the contumelious word is spoken of the saints or of sacred things, because of the relationship they sustain to God and His service…” See everyone, no difference between heaven and hell, do as thou wilt. See, it’s funny too. Nevermind that when you watch media your brainwaves enter a sleep like state and you are easily programmed….There is a reason they call it programming.Show less

They got a lot of shit for Alastor's playing card having voodoo symbols, because they didn't get "permission" to use voodoo symbols. I wasn't aware there was an authority on voodoo that had to give permission for it to be used in art works or that it was supposed to be exclusive to any race.

A five minute search could teach you more than Tim does about the subject in this video. This inversion of the Christianity is nothing novel or new, it has been done by Luciferarians who portray Lucifer as the enlightened bearer of light. Variations of this theme are found in the occult and in the fables of the Freemasons. Before that it can be found among the Cathars and Gnostics who portray the God of the Old Testament as evil.

How could lillith be “strong and independent “ and then decide to flee if she didn’t initially have free will

It’s funny that they present Adam as some sort of tyrant, when he was a pretty weak willed man in the actual Bible. He just sort of did his thing, then Eve came over & was like, “that over there told me to eat this thing we were told not to eat, you should have some to.” & he was like, “well…you’re my wife & I want to be with you, so I guess…”

I agree with what Libby had said. The glorification of evil is not something we should let be pushed into society. Yes I get you say that it also kind pokes fun at woke people by them being the ones in hell, but if some kids sees it and doesn't get those points except what the main stuff thats being said. I know people will say "well kids see worse" or "this isn't for kids away". When I was growing up I saw South Park, the Simpsons, Family Guy, AquaTeam Hunger Force, Moral Oral, Robot Chicken, and other crude shows. I used to say alot of things that even some stuff I didn't fully even understand, but I would say it cause I felt like the edgy thing to do.Show less

The initial pilot was pretty funny. Very adult orientated though. Then, during the 'Summer of Love' the producers and cast literally held a YT livestream where they raised funds to pay the legal fees of rioters.

That's very disappointing to hear. I love the show because Episode 4 is basically anti-pron propaganda. I want to support that, but I don't want to support destroying this country.

Let's just say there's a reason Hollywood and the media will openly mock Christians and Christianity but not Islam and Muslims. Now think of the difference between the two in how each group handles said critique and insult of their religion.

@bottlepiecemuses

this show is 500% NOT FOR KIDS when will boomers learn that animation =/= childrens content you'd think the past two decades of shows like southpark, rick and morty, and "happy tree friends" would have proven this much to them

Lilith is... part of biblical apocrapha. Technically non-canon but she pops up frequently as well. Sort of like how hell being divided into nine circles is also, technically, non-canon but frequently shows up in depictions of it.

[mothboyicarus]

MUSIC ASKS 3 12 25 :)

3. A song that reminds you of summertime

FERNANDO ! reminds me of camping and summer nights. my mom sister and i have a thing where we just spend a night listening to abba music and talk & it usually happens in summer so now abba is summer music to me :-) (i was gonna say our last summer but thats more end of august vibes and also is very obvious)

12. A song from your preteen years

ok you sent me this as i was listening to [REDACTED] (<-song that will dox me) so i can only think of that one but aside from that hmmmm......... call me maybe. i had it on my shitty ipod that i lost in 5 days and i claimed it as my fav song bc it was also [MUTUAL IRL BESTIE]s fav song in like 2nd grade. god i love call me maybe.

25. A song by an artist no longer living

listen i have been in my Dad Music phase right now so i am like exclusively listening to 80s music rn. ermmmmm. YOU KNOW WHAT i'm combining this one with the preteen song question and saying 16 tons by johnny cash LISTEN. 16 tons might actually be the first actual song i remember listening to and it was to an edited video of really big fish (i am not kidding and yes it does explain a lot of about me)

[caz-is-gay]

so. currently actually sobbing bc i made the horrible decision to look through techno’s channel. i saw the gravity mod vid he posted after the announcement that he had cancer. i remember being so happy. sbi content! god. i still haven’t watched the video. yknow the one. a year ago i tried to watch squids video on part of the potato war. i didnt get 3 mins in b4 i heard his voice (he was celebrating!! he was happy!) and started crying. maybe in a decade ill be able to watch it and smile. and ill be able to watch the new one, and old ones and laugh like i used to. i looked through the community posts. he really loved birds, didnt he? i feel so bad for his dad.

june 2022. worst month of my life i think. everything happened at once. on june 1st lizzy was over. i was so desperately in love with her. still in denial about the inevitable friend zone. we went to zydecos grad party! she left halfway through to call her ex. they got back together. the facade was broken. obviously she didn’t like me back and anything romantic with her is a pipe dream. (i mean who would ever love to be attracted to an ugly fat pig like me?) so lizzy is over. im trying to ignore the heartbreak. then i hear the news. techno died. my sister hears it from a friend and tells me. the ppl we have over dont get it. they dont get why it hits me so hard, and god i dont want to explain it. so i pretend im fine. keep hosting, keep being nice. every second is agony! i cry myself to sleep. that had stopped a few months ago. i wasnt suicidal anymore but god. 2 weeks later im starting to back to *normal* levels of summer break depression. my dad finds out. he loved techno. im gone again. my mom fonds out, she doesn’t know who he is., doesn’t know the other 3 ppl at the table have already been grieving. shes lost so many to cancer. “did you hear about that minecraft youtuber who died of cancer? he was only 23, its so sad” i didnt know what to say. “yes i watched him everyday for 4 years his videos were the only thing that could get me to sleep when i started having suicidal thoughts if not for him i wouldn’t be here and now he dead.” yeah.

i still didn’t get over lizzy for months. fantasizing about a life with her was my escape. it was unrealistic and i couldn’t think about her like that anymore. then my dad brought covid home from work. june 23rd, my mom almost dies. thats the worst day of my life. it was mcc day. i was watching it on my tv, because my dad went to see his parents and mom was sick. she had been in bed for days. she got sick a lot. she had bronchitis for 10 years at this point. i was taking care of her. she was obviously delirious. asking me to pour water on her because she was so hot. i didnt know what to do. i waited for so long. i couldn’t deal with this right now i needed to de stress not have more. it got too much, i called my dad and he said she must have high blood sugar. fuck. i looked at her insulin log, nothing written for 2 days. fuck fuck fuck. he told me, if she cant draw her own blood for a reading, call 911. so we did. she could have died. if i waited any longer she could have passed out and stopped breathing. she went to the hospital. medically induced coma, intubated. she had told us many times shed rather die than be on a ventilator. none of us mentioned it. she was in a coma for 2 weeks. woke up, had to be in vent for longer. she was finally extubated. she couldn’t talk but she managed to be sarcastic still. i had to hold back tears. best day of my life.

that month changed the course of my life forever. my disability was most likely caused by the mild covid infection i got b4 my mom got sick. my mom doesn’t have a fungal lung infection anymore. my parents are sleeping in the same room again, and going to therapy. my mom has a cgm and a cpap and is on top of her health.

i cant stand the sounds of artificial breathing after sitting next to her for so long. im more afraid of my future than ever. im still getting over my best friend (fuck being demiromantic man) and i am still crying over technoblade.

[hotarutranslations]

NACK5 "FAV FOUR"..Limsta..BEAMS-san..

Evening

Thank you for the live broadcast of, NACK5 "FAV FOUR"

.📻‪🤍

Wa---! It was really fun! Talking!

The show, Dekami-san and Kosaka Daimaou-san, are in charge of Wednesdays, Kosaka-san was absent due to other work this time, So I got to talk with, Dekami-san and JOY-san~~🌻🌻

I haven't seen Kosaka-san in a while..

When it was decided I would be going on this time, For Ishida's fans, There were those looking forward to it like, 2 from Tohoku~ Kosaka-san~!

It didn't happen this time, I definitely hope that we can get together at some other time!

JOY-san gave us a fresh reaction to Morning Musume '24, and Dekami-san knows so much, too much so she kinda gave supplemental songs to the new songs,

A FAV talk🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

It was really, a lot of fun~~ Thank you very much~~

Thank you very much, to everyone who listened!

Please use radiko to listen if you missed it📻🤍

Before that I went to,

The YouTube livestream, Limsta!

Thank you very much! Prooppperrllyy watch to see if I call out your name, ok!

There were a tonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn of applications…

There were many names I couldn't call out, I'm so thankful to everyone🥹🥹

Everyone, I ended up signing while thinking, everyone wants to send out their message as I've announced my graduation, I want to read them, thats right, I get it! lol

Thank you very much for your warm words🤍

Did you enjoy! The live stream!

I kinda thought,

I realized I'm too relaxed doing Limstas,

I end up like yayyyyy✌️,

I hope that you enjoy it!

Thank you very much for watching🤍

From the morning, I had a different recording📼🔌 

If you're interested in this post..

Instagram

Hello Pro Dance Gakuen Extracurricular Activities, with BEAMS-san..

It'll air on September 19th at 11:30PM but, Look forward to the information closer to the airing🙊🙊

BEAMS-san's headquarters.. It was realllyyyy wonderful..

A bit after the shoot, I was sitting on the sofa and relaxing, Its a mystery the time I spent there lol

Last year Morning Musume, They helped us out and, We got to come out with collab t-shirts, I love them❤️

Today my black dress is Ray BEAMS-san

Wa~~

Excuse me, the date has passed

Please have a good rest🥱‪‪‬ᐝ Thank you for your hard work today too..

⋆͛📣FC Advance Reception Until August 8th at 5:00PM

Play▶️List

Graduation Announcement Blog🐣🪽

Hello! Station #531 I also talk about my graduation in this video

📺Hello Pro Dance Every other Thursday at 11:30PM~

📺Sendai Broadcast "Ara Ara Kashiko" Ishida Ayumi Goes~! I appear once a month as part of the AraKashi Family

The previous shows, and makings, are on OX VIDEO STORE!

📺Otoboke POPS

TokyoMX August 17th (Sat) 9:30~10:00PM Ishida, Sakurai, Yumigeta are appearing

Thank you for following.. Instagram💙🩵

💿 August 14th new single✨ "Nandaka Sentimental na Toki no Uta/saiKIYOU"

̗̀📣Cheki Sign Talk Meet Announcement

̗̀📣Limsta

🪩Hello! Project 2024 Summer ALL OF US "Vega" "Altair" From July 13th~September 1st Traveling To 7 Cities Nationwide All Hello! Project groups are performing🔥

🪩"Morning Musume '24 Concert Tour Autumn WE CAN DANCE!"

Its Ishida Ayumi's last tour💙 I'm looking forward to seeing you

🪩"ROCK IN JAPAN FESTIVAL 2024 in HITACHINAKA" September 22nd GRASS STAGE 10:30AM~

→Tickets are on general sale

📚July 20th Release "non-no September" special issues cover is, Morning Musume '24

.💎

Releasing on July 23rd

"Up To Boy vol.341" September Issue I will be on the 7net limited cover page

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📻Morning Musume '24 Morning Jogakuin ~Houkago Meeting~

Airs Every Saturday, On Radio Nihon at 12:00AM~

Past Broadcast Episodes Are Available →Program Details

I visited as a guest🪽 "Sayashi Riho and The Time From Now On" presented by Meiji Bulgarian Yogurt

see you ayumin <3

[ghostboyhood]

27: any phobias or fears?

48: a sound you really love?

74: what is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

27: any phobias or fears?

i have a really bad phobia of pregnancy, i could barely touch my moms stomach when she was pregnant with my brother and when he moved it made me nauseous, ultrasounds made me sick to my stomach so i couldnt go to those, and just the idea of something growing inside ME or ANOTHER PERSON makes me want to fucking scream and cry like i js got the fucking chills its so bad 😭😭

48: a sound you really love?

RAIN AND THUNDER!!! FOREVER AND EVER THATS SO BASIC BUT OH MY GOD, where i live it never fucking rains, if it does its for 4 minutes and it dries up as its falling ☹️ and js like nature sounds, its so dry where i live.. here wait i have a video of when i visited fairplay colorado last summer and oughhh it was so beautiful..

the running water, the cold air cause it was about to snow.. i wanna live somewhere like that one day

74: what is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

uhhh oh god im so bad at these 😭😭 when i was little i had this thing called 'the loving family" and it was this big playhouse and dolls, they all had personalities and it grew so now theres grandparents and cowboys and 5 babies but the grandparents house got destroyed when the box tv came crashing down one night from its shelf and smashed their house,, theres a lot more to it, we have so much lore its kinda crazy