#and we said a “mini plot drop”... lol

[theopulenthq]

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND….

Nothing stays hidden forever. Especially not during rounds of assassinations, and several world leaders tucked under one roof. As an uneasy civility settles in Lal Qila, those at the helm of power decide to assert their effectiveness. In an effort to re-establish their command of Lal Qila and curry favor with those affronted by the memoriam, the Mughal Empire (in collaboration with Madagascar) revealed the findings of their investigation in the grand hallway of an early morning, before breakfast was even served. The following list was revealed to name these individuals as the most suspicious within the court - and their reasoning why.

Egypt’s bookkeeper, Emine Bulut, is not as she seems. Many suspect that she is, in fact, working with the Perisa to investigate the Turkish royal family and may have other experience in espionage. 

Thailand needs to look within its own ranks. It’s been found that military commander, Kinsey Gladwin, is tied to the English forces.

The loyalties of those under the French flag cannot be trusted, fortune teller Delphine Baudelaire’s loyalties are debatable.

Correspondence highlighting Regent Sultan Rostam’s distrust in his family, suspecting them of contributing to his husband’s death. 

Copies of records of controversies related to the Qajar family previously thought to be all destroyed, found in the Sultana Arshiya of Persia’s belongings along with proof of the destruction of other documents.

Some suspicion is thrown towards Ethiopia - their interview scrolls were mysteriously disposed of, and it would seem their rooms were not searched as deeply by the French military as other courts. When pressed, both sides of the conflict admit that they have nothing on Ethiopia, and perhaps it is this lack of information that has left them under closer scrutiny. 

Not ones to be outdone, the vengeance of Thailand is never far behind. The findings of France’s search within the royal apartments and chambers are brought to light by sundown of that same day. Within the very same grand hallway, they call upon those in residence to reveal the following findings, attempting to further destabilize the Mughal Empire.

Evidence of foul play is brought to light against the Dowager Duchess Tatiana Kanto around the death of her ex-husband.

Letters exchanged between the Emperor Kaito of Japan and King Elias of Germany detailing Japan’s secret financing of Germany to ward off China’s motives.

The relationship between the Empresses and their lover is on thin ice, with Empress Eesha seen scheming with her lover against Empress Rashmi.

Growing unrest among the leadership in Scotland, with Commander Cailean suspected to be working with rebellious forces against the Stuart’s. Perhaps they have something to do with the King’s absence?

The Crown Princess of Germany, Eleanor Hatzfeld, is actively planning to overthrow the King and secure herself and her (unknown) lover on the throne.

Amidst the scandal and gasps, kingdoms with their own burning suspicions take the opportunity to reveal their own discontent. Sound floods the grand hallway as accusations are thrown every which way, but one voice was heard loudest. It is the Prince of China, Angelo Tolentino, who steps up to reveal what treason and theft lies within the Chinese Empire. Financial papers showing funds exiting the Emperor of China’s trust with the Princess Kai-Ming of China’s handwriting reveal Kai-Ming to be a suspect in this fight.

Meanwhile, those under the Ortiz’s employment call out the Bonaparte’s growing formidability and glory. Members of the Bonaparte family have been reunited at Lal Qila, and with so many of its former royals finding success and influence… Many Spanish courtiers speculate that they would be better placed to rule than the Ortiz’s. Screaming, fighting, and a perfect Spring storm befalls Lal Qila.

In the five days that follow amidst the rainstorm, the aftermath of spilled motives and agendas plague Lal Qila. What began as a step forward in the investigation instigated a greater divide between the two sides. Fortunately, saner heads prevail. Unperturbed by the revelations; Baron Hugo Von Galen, Viscount Maximilien Gauthier, and Princess Yifei Qing come together to bring reason and calm to Lal Qila. It is apparent that both sides are too consumed by grief and ego to lead the investigation. 

The three strike a plan; a council, run by kingdoms famed for their neutrality, shall lead the investigation forward. Untouched by the drama of the murders, and having notoriety for each going several years without war or exception strife, and the long-standing alliances with most Kingdoms in attendance. The choice of who to bring in to act as the facilitator is simple. The three peacekeepers appeal to the rulers from all sides, until a wary agreement is made and treaties are signed.

Not long after, the ships of Norway and Brazil land at the Mughal Empire’s coast. A sigh of relief can be heard through the halls as everyone comes around to the idea of peace… but who knows what hurt feelings fester beneath the new information brought to lie. Once a secret is told, it can never be untold, and now some may pay the price for their sins. 

Welcome Norway and Brazil to the Opulent HQ! Below the cut you can find additional information.

IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ! The investigative council, manned by the royal advisor of Norway and the commanding officer of Brazil, will consist of one muse per mun to be placed on the council. These muses, selected by each mun, will be given choices periodically to vote on that will change the course of future plot drops. More information, including the submission form for the muse you choose to put on the council, will be coming shortly. NOTE - your muse does not have to be a royal to be placed on the council! Ideally, we hope to see a variety of classes, countries, and personality types on this council.

Due to the sensitive nature of many secrets, some muns/muses did not get a feature (or as heavy of one), but these have been noted and will get recognition in the next plot drop!  

The muse count has been lifted to 8 muses per mun, but be mindful that the 1 week wait between muses is still in effect! That means if you apply for your 7th muse, you must wait a minimum of 1 week from acceptance to take on your 8th and final muse. 

Please visit our KINGDOM PAGE to read up on our newest arrivals to the group - Norway and Brazil! 

You do not need to end or adjust threads to stay in line with the timeframe, but you can if you want! Otherwise, all new threads must take place either within the events of the plot drop (including the 5-day rainstorm after the spilling of secrets) or afterwards. If you have any questions on this, don’t hesitate to reach out!

We understand that this may create a LOT of interpersonal drama. Please feel free to reach out to us if you want to let us know any big changes for your character, or to suggest how to implement any ideas for further drama, especially relating to the secrets that were revealed. We want to work with you to make your ideas come true!

[bluebudgie]

Alright peeps. Obligatory first impression post. Not spoiler free this time.

Tl;dr having a really really good time.

Details:

Oof I'll try to keep this as short as possible (not short). And I'll try not to make it too much of a SotO comparison fest.

Maps

Let's start with the obvious one. And probably the longest one. The two new maps. I love both of them. Absolutely beautifully refreshing maps.

Lowland Shore is so rich both in layout and activities. It feels so full of life (dare I say one of the first maps in a while that feels genuinely alive), it's gorgeous to look at and really fun to explore. I got some Grothmar Valley vibes from this one in terms of how busy the map feels. Fun events and mini games at every corner, all packaged in a beautiful landscape. Also my jaw literally dropped when I dove into the bee cave lol.

Janthir Syntri (sick name, idk if syntri means anything but I love how it's written) feels a little less unique in terms of layout but it nails the atmosphere. The coast looks amazing and I adore the snippets of lore scattered all around the map. I've been absorbing those journal pages. This map feels kinda like Lake Doric if it were cool.

I cannot overstate how happy I am that these maps are largely walkable by foot, some vistas and mastery insights aside that require the warclaw. SotO's maps were by far the biggest expansion killer to me (a formal shoutout to Amnytas at this point which has officially dethroned Lake Doric as The Worst Map. That's two Lake Doric mentions in one post.)... and I'm just so happy we got really nice ones this time around. No Tangled Depths or Draconis Mons, but... really nice nonetheless.

Music

Similarly the new music is very pretty and atmospheric, but what else is new in this game. Haven't had a proper listen to the OST outside the game yet, but I do fondly remember one ambient song in particular which I'm curious to check out. I believe it plays in Janthir Syntri exclusively. Also the battle themes slap.

The masteries

Said this an earlier post already, but I like the mastery progression. It's been kind of hit or miss depending on the expansion, but this time around the unlocked masteries feel like meaningful upgrades to look forward to.

Story

Hell yea having a blast with this one. Love the Tyrian Alliance. Those meetings are absolutely hilarious. All these different people clashing and trying to stay diplomatic while wanting to tear each other apart. I like that a lot of older "loose" plot points were brought up for that occasion too.

The newly introduced characters are all really likeable and I feel like I already know more about them and their motivations now than we ever (unfortunately!) got to know about half of the SotO cast. Admittedly, we've got far fewer new characters this time, and that's probably a good thing.

I'm VERY intrigued by the whole golden city saul d'alessio white mantle direction we're moving in. As mentioned earlier, the lore journals and diaries have been CONSUMED.

Also, Rata Primus mentioned.

There's probably more to say and I'm probably forgetting half of the things I meant to say here. But this is once again getting way longer than it needs to be lol. Anyway [youtuber voice] let me know what you think in the comment section and see you next time

[jq37]

On the one hand, the Kids used up a lot of higher level spell slots and resources in this one, so skipping a boss battle was a very good thing. On the other hand, Final Form Baron looked pretty rad. Could've been fun. And I wish we could've gotten a better look at the mini for the Gilear-That-Never-Was. Anyway, great episder. I love these more elaborate Encounter episodes, where it's not just an arena, but also a dungeon or there's alternate win conditions other than kill everyone.

No recap this week because I was out of town (not that much happened plot-wise so I'll roll it into the recap for next episode) but I thought this episode was awesome! One of my favorite episodes of D20 and probably my fave battle episode ever. Like you said, it's great when a battle ep is more than just a slug fest. This had exploration and hidden roles and a fetch quest element. So fun! And everyone had such great moments! Since I'm not doing a full recap for this ep, I'll drop some highlights here:

-GORGUG!!!!! Or really, Zac with an assist from Emily. I had to replay his womping of Brennan like four more times before I continued the episode. What a legend. I totally forgot he had that ability so I was just as caught off guard as Brennan.

-Lou, king of commitment to the bit morphing into Baron to a horrified Adaine and outraged Siobhan was another easy episode highlight. I love Adaine insisting that she's SO nice to Riz and her, "What are you TALKING about????" It was such a fun moment and a great way to change the stakes and keep everyone on guard.

-Adaine was so cool this episode! Sure she got possessed (also very fun) but Kristen came in clutch yanking her out of it and then she immediately used a super sick spell (which according to the AP, she took specifically to get Kipperlilly, lol) and merced Baron before he could touch Riz (she *IS* so nice to Riz). Then, she one-shot fake-Zayn! Battle Wizard! Battle Wizard! Absolutely love that for her.

-This arena was totally made for Riz. It's so great when you're absolutely in your element and your build gets rewarded. This is the first time I've even considered playing a rogue. They're SO GOOD at high levels.

-Poor Fig but, "I would like to roll...a new character" was such a funny line. Also, girl why are you eating the cursed cottage cheese (or whatever it is)? You were JUST told not to do that and Adaine JUST broke the curse on you!!!

-There is something disturbingly endearing about Kalina snapping her own neck rather than attack the party--similar to how it's endearing that Cass tried her best to make a save haven for the group even though she was being corrupted and it came out wrong. Wrt Kalina only being able to say Ragh's name, there are some loose ends from Sophomore Year in the back of my mind that I haven't been able to check on because I've been AFK for the past few days but I wouldn't be surprised if they're related somehow.

-I also wish they'd showed us the thriving Gilear mini in the AP at least.

Anyway! Very fun episode and the Bad Kids have all this useful infernal energy to play with now. Stoked to see what they do with it!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 340: Now Where Were We

Previously on BnHA: Deku and Iida were all “hey Mei, I know you don’t have a lot of spare time in between constantly launching yourself at people boob-first, and singlehandedly MacGuyvering U.A. into the fucking Death Star, but we were wondering if you could lend us a hand in fixing our costumes.” Mei was all, “sure thing, here’s an upgraded pair of Movie 1 Gloves for you, anyways off you go and have fun saving the world!” Mt. Lady was all, “can you kids keep a secret?? so uh, just between you and me, I’m not a real teacher, and I’m not actually sure what I’m doing here hanging out with you guys right now.” Class 1-A was all, “don’t worry, your secret is safe with us Mt. Lady, well anyways time to assemble our CLASS 1-A SEARCH SQUAD!” The chapter ended with A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE getting ready to DO and/or TALK about A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT THINGS. Classic cliffhanger ending. lol this chapter really did not hold up on a re-read. I’m so sorry BnHA 339. You meandered so that future chapters could hopefully get to the damn point already.

Today on BnHA: All Might is all “time to reveal our shocking and completely unpredictable battle plan of splitting up all the villains for more easily digestible mini-boss battles, using our newly acquired trump card, the handy dandy U.A. traitor!” Aizawa is all, “[cracks knuckles] time to drop some motherfucking love and compassion onto my traumatized student in order to talk him into doing this INSANELY DANGEROUS TASK for us, except that somehow I manage to do it in a way that’s genuinely moving and heartfelt and somehow not manipulative at all lol.” Shinsou is all, “hello, it’s me, making my miraculous return after three whole years of plot inactivity, so anyway what have I missed.” Well shit. Glad I’m not the only one, Shinsou.

---

(just a handful of quick notes here since it’s been a while! (1) as always, these are my completely blind first-time-reading reactions to the chapter. (2) as of today, I am very much NOT caught up with the manga, but will keep you posted on my progress. currently I have read up to chapter 340, a.k.a. this chapter right here lol. and (3), I have been spoiled about one major thing (explained more in depth here) which will happen later in the series, and while there are no detailed references to said spoiler in this post, there ARE a couple of vague throwaway lines because I have absolutely no self-control. so just giving you guys a heads up for that! if you absolutely don’t want to risk getting spoiled, I would highly recommend catching up with the manga first before reading any further.

anyways, onward!)

OH MY GOSH IT’S SOME BUILDINGS!!!

WHAT A THRILLING WAY TO KICK OFF MY FIRST NEW CHAPTER OF BNHA IN ELEVEN MONTHS. TRULY HIT THE GROUND RUNNING

lol they literally just thumbtacked a handwritten “LOV/PLF COUNTER-FORCE HQ” sign on a wrinkled piece of paper next to the door. how far we have fallen from the days where the heroes were holding their war councils in huge NASA ground control rooms filled with hundreds of TV screens

okay good, at least they went out and recruited Hawks to be one of the people presumably planning this whole thing

one of only two people (the other being Momo) whom I actually trust to be able to come up with a reliably smart plan. fingers crossed this turns out better than his last big Ultimate Hero Final Battle Plan, though!

interesting! I assume they do still know about the whole Aoyama situation though, seeing as they even told Mt. flippin’ Lady lol

OH MY GOSH, RAGDOLL? heck yeah. great to see her finally back in the thick of things again. even if she can’t participate in the actual battle, she’s still a fucking hero goddammit

wow this entire next page sure is something

“every pre-cat-ion” breaking news, we’ve just been informed that there is a warrant out for Caleb Cook’s arrest

MEOW

MYEAH?

NOT YOU TOO, HAWKS

EVIL MEOW

I know that last part is just her randomly tacking her cute dattebayoisms onto the end of this entirely unrelated sentence, but unfortunately the damage has already been done. now all I can think about is the League of Villains out there rampaging in the streets and meowing menacingly at people

anyway, so on to the planning and stuff

lmao wait, what

DID YOU PAINT THESE BY HAND, ALL MIGHT?? DID YOU BUY THEM LAST MINUTE ON ETSY AND PAY A FORTUNE IN EXPEDITED SHIPPING. surely it must be the latter. but can you just imagine All Might sitting at his kitchen table at 3am, hand-painting a refrigerator magnet to look like an adorable chibified version of HIS MOST HATED ENEMY

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

I’m actually on the fence about this lol. I mean, it makes sense on paper. lord knows they had enough trouble taking on just one massively overpowered final villain, so who even knows what would happen if they added a second one to the mix

but the problem with the “just take them down separately” plan is that it means they’ll also have to split up their OWN forces, which are already heavily depleted. not to mention that the BnHA heroes are always at their best when they’re all fighting together. so anyways, yeah, I’m not too sure about this

so blah blah blah, Tomura is now stronger than crusty!potato!AFO, big surprise. and they’ve also figured out that the two AFOs can communicate with each other via radio waves or whatever. okay yeah, but doesn’t that mean that even if you do split them up, they’ll still have a big advantage? unless you figured out some way of jamming their telepathy somehow

“should they attack together, we have no hope of victory” lol if you say so. I’m pretty sure all of the U.A. kids combined with all of the remaining A-list heroes could hold their ground fairly well, but clearly I’m not supposed to be questioning the authority of this statement so ALL RIGHT THEN

OKAY BUT DOESN’T THIS JUST PROVE MY POINT THOUGH

“if they’re so powerful together then why didn’t they team up against S&S?” “because they definitely would have definitely lost.” ????????

anyway so now All Might is saying that they need to separate TomurAFO and Potato AFO (PotAFO, if you will) by at least 10km. so is that the max range of their telepathy or something then? that’s so oddly specific though

“oh and we also need to split up Dabi from them as well” ah okay lol, I see where this is going. it’s finally time for the final battle, meaning we need to assign each of the main characters to their personal final villain, yeah? great. awesome. except that they only JUST got reunited all together as a class again sob. you’re really going to do this to me again now?? just like that?? goddammit

LMAO I completely forgot that Nao’s right hand man is an actual literal fucking cat

oh my god. what I wouldn’t give to have seen his reaction to all of those puns and MEOW shenanigans from a few minutes earlier. just standing there in the corner with a disapproving frown. “I’ll have you know I find this all very demeaning and culturally insensitive” sorry about that Sansa

anyway so now All Might is all “YEAH EXACTLY, WE HAVE TO DIVIDE AND CONQUER ALL OF THE VILLAINS ONE ON ONE! WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SPENT ALL THAT TIME PAINSTAKINGLY BUILDING THEM UP FOR?? IT’S THE FINAL BATTLE FOR FUCK’S SAKE, WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU HAVE US DO, MAKESTE” okay okay fine I’ll shut up now, geez

oh shit lol

somehow I momentarily forgot all about Aoyama. possibly because I haven’t seen him in eleven months!! so this is where we’re finally going to get into the nitty gritty of that “let’s use Aoyama to set a trap” plan that Aizawa shamelessly stole from Kaminari all those moons ago

All Might is all “it’s actually pretty messed up of us to be using this poor boy when he’s already basically spent his entire life being exploited and manipulated by people” and he’s not wrong though, damn

but Nao is all “very true, but to be fair this is the literal apocalypse, and he did technically make his own bed, and also our backs are REALLY against the goddamn wall here,” which is also true. still leaning more toward All Might’s side in spite of that, though. poor Yuuga

OH SHIT, SPEAKING OF???

OH DANG

do they really have to keep him tied up like that?? he’s just a kid for fuck’s sake. and it’s not like they aren’t capable of handling things if he does try to escape, I mean this is Aoyama we’re talking about here, he’s not exactly an all-powerful criminal mastermind

man they both look so fucking sad. Yuuga looks so ashamed. this is every 1-A child’s worst fear. they can go toe to toe with the scariest villains out there and not be fazed. but a disappointed dad??? have mercy, sweet jesus

“so after going back and forth on it a bunch, we finally decided that he’s probably not going to blow up.” thanks for the update, doc. meanwhile I just had a completely unrelated thought about certain spoiler related things, oh fuck. but now is not the time to start speculating about that! not when we have the world’s saddest detention session unfolding right before our eyes

Aizawa Shouta is sitting here wearing an eyepatch and a hospital gown and probably hasn’t showered in like three days, and despite all this he is STILL somehow the hottest character in BnHA and it’s not even close

okay but there are like a thousand reasons why the threat of imminent murder would be infinitely more useful than an actual murder, though. like this doesn’t really make any sense. “why would AFO bother to threaten Aoyama if he could simply blow him up if and when he betrayed him?” uh, gee, maybe because he would much prefer if Aoyama didn’t actually betray him in the first place?? what, do you think U.A. traitors are so fucking easy to come by? in this economy??

awwww

I mean, of course he is? :( man, and now I’m wondering if there’s been a single day since his enrollment at U.A. that Aoyama has not spent being constantly terrified about a whole damn slew of things. this poor fucking kid. Horikoshi please be kind to him oh my god

oh my god, yes, exactly

he’s afraid that deep down he’s a bad person. he’s afraid that AFO will kill him. but interestingly, what he’s most afraid of, is BEING afraid. he’s afraid that if the others put their trust in him again, that when push comes to shove he’ll still be too cowardly to do what’s right

talk about ironic though. because to me, that’s a sentiment that basically confirms that he does have the heart of a hero deep down. I’m telling you guys, every single time you show me a character who is flawed and afraid, but is trying so hard to overcome their fears, and trying with all their might to become better, you will reel me in hook, line, and sinker every. single. time. seriously, how could you possibly not root for this kid now

OH MY GOD YUUGA NO

holy shit. hey Horikoshi, this is me, a certified angst-lover, asking you to tone it down just a little here, goddamn. yes we get it, he is tormented by years’ worth of accumulated fears and regrets and feelings of worthlessness and he doesn’t see any way that things can possibly get better, holy shit, we get it okay??? THIS IS MY FIRST CHAPTER IN ELEVEN MONTHS! THIS SHOULD BE AN OCCASION OF TRIUMPH, SO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU OUT HERE MAKING ME CRY

HOLY SHIT

somehow I forgot just how utterly ruthless this man is capable of being for the sake of his students. this is a dude who literally expels kids on a regular basis just to put the fear of god into them. also he is seriously so goddamn hot. it’s straight up ridiculous

oh wow this whole page just came straight for my heart

Yuuga’s fear as he tries to talk himself into what he fully believes is a suicide mission. Aizawa’s blunt assessment of the heroes being no less ruthless than the villains when their backs are to the wall. but then the way he just HITS him with that “you’re still my student and I’m still your teacher” line, and how he says it with such finality. and then the face Aoyama makes in response!!

OKAY, WOW

ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS IS FAIR YOU KNOW!! YOU CAN’T JUST HIT ME WITH THIS BRUTALLY SIMPLE PANEL OF THE TWO OF THEM JUST SITTING THERE WITH ALL OF THE OTHER VISUALS STRIPPED AWAY SO THE FOCUS IS ENTIRELY JUST ON THEM, AND WITH THE WALL BETWEEN THEM ALSO SYMBOLICALLY REMOVED JUST LIKE THAT

AND YUUGA BEING SO SMALL. AND AIZAWA BEING SO STRONG AND SAFE AND STABLE AND FIRM, AND HIM HAVING SUCH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND COMPASSION FOR HIS STUDENT DESPITE EVERYTHING. “FUCK THAT, YOU’RE GONNA HAVE A HAPPY ENDING BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO AND I’M YOUR SENSEI AND THAT’S FINAL.” okay yep. tears coming now. thanks a lot, Horikoshi. wow. just wow

lol I truly believe that if Horikoshi ever did truly try to kill off one of the 1-A kids, Aizawa would literally come to life and emerge from the pages and straight up murder him

welp. there you have it. absolutely no room for argument there. SENSEI SAID YOU’RE GONNA LIVE, YUUGA, SO I GUESS YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT!

fsdljkf

yep. that’s right. deal with it. dlfkj don’t mind me I’m just gonna sit here dissolving into sobs again

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WARM FOND EXPRESSION GODDAMMIT

I AM ALREADY A PILE OF MUSH, HOLY HECK!! CAN I LIVE. CAN YOU JUST LEAVE ME BE HERE ALREADY HOLY SHIT

wait what

uh. the path of “none of you problem children are allowed to die on my watch, are we fucking clear on that”? that path?? or the path of marching headfirst into very real danger because they have no other choice, because they’re one of the lynchpins in the heroes’ desperate plan? because that latter path is one that I’d prefer to have as few children walk as possible, ngl

-- OH MY GOD

“HELLO, SHINSOU HERE” UH, EXCUSE ME, MISTER, DON’T YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO ME? AFTER BEING MIA FOR LIKE A HUNDRED AND TWENTY CHAPTERS AND FOUR AND A HALF ARCS?? YOU’RE JUST GONNA HANG HERE FROM THIS FUCKING TREE ALL NONCHALANT, WITH YOUR FANCY NEW HERO COSTUME AND YOUR SPIDER-MAN POSE THAT YOU STRAIGHT UP RIPPED OFF FROM YOUR DAD?? WHILE SAID DAD SITS THERE CHUCKLING OVER HIS “NEVER FEAR, WE’RE TOTALLY PUTTING SHINSOU IN AMPLE DANGER AS WELL” REVEAL? “DON’T WORRY AOYAMA, WE’RE NOT JUST RISKING YOUR LIFE, WE’RE RISKING MULTIPLE CHILDREN’S LIVES, BUT WE’RE DOING IT ALL TOGETHER AS A FAMILY” truly the most heartwarming of sentiments lmao

well damn. that hype and anticipation is definitely starting to build now. I am so damn fearful for all of these fictional kids’ safety, especially now that I’m watching the War arc play out again in the anime and remembering just how brutal it was. but at the same time I can’t deny that I’m super excited to see the culmination of everything. like, this is IT, though. this is THE moment, THE battle. no more safety arcs. no more training. we are done holding back, and that is as terrifying as it is exhilarating. I am so not ready for any of this, but IT IS HAPPENING WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT, so I guess I’ll just do my best to enjoy the ride

-- oh and lastly, I almost forgot. before we wrap up, there’s just one last thing I wanted to add here...

so it begins.

[happiestplacehq]

March Feedback Survey Results

First of all, big thank you to those who took part in the wee survey posted in the March interest check. Your feedback has been super valuable! I love hearing from you, as this RP is as much mine as it is yours; there wouldn't be an RP without all you lovely people.

If you missed the end of the month and would still like to give me some feedback, you can do so at this link [here]. Any and all feedback is much appreciated.

Here is a summary of the results of the poll, which I will use to inform what we do going forward in the RP. These are mostly the choice questions, as the typed answers I will be keeping for personal feedback about what can be improved, what you guys are looking for and so on:

Would you prefer to keep the relaxed interest checks or would you prefer an activity check with more enforced activity rules?

100% voted to keep interest checks over activity checks.

Whether you chose interest checks or activity checks, would you prefer these to remain monthly or to switch to a quarterly check?

66.7% voted to keep interest checks to a monthly occurrence over a quarterly one.

Do you like group wide events?

100% of you voted yes!

Would you like more events in the future?

100% voted yes!

How many events do you think we should have a year?

This is where Gemma's brain short-circuited trying to figure out the best course of action: 33.3% voted for 2 bi-annual events, 33.3% voted for 3 or more events, 16.7% said "I think maybe 2 or 3 major events is fun ... and event that's done in chapters/part rather than one big thing all at once" and 16.7% said "idk tbh"

Which months do you find best suited for events?

This was multiple choice. 100% voted October (Halloween Time), 83.3% voted April (Hootenanny Time) rip my poor planning, 66.7% voted July (Summertime), and 33.3% voted December (Christmas/ New Year).

Would you like to have mini events through the year, or stick to bigger events?

100% voted yes to mini events!

Would you like the Big Plot to move forward more quickly, or stay at the pace it's at?

100% voted More Quickly! (Which means keep your eyes peeled for more plot related things going forward!)

How would you feel about another town-wide plot drop? A la the blue flashing snow storm from our 1st year (but not that. Mr. B has work to do!).

100% voted they would love another event like this!

Finally, I am leaving this post here with some of the really nice positive messages that I received in this poll that I think you should all have a wee look at! I absolutely appreciate all of you here, and I'm sure you can see how much we all appreciate each other as well. Thank you again, friends! (Some players have been sent their positive messages privately also, there was so much love in this survey!)

"Honestly I love it here and I love being a part of this group. I'm going to continue to try my best to be more active myself and I appreciate everyone's help with that!"

"I love everyone!!! I love everyone's enthusiasm. I think everyone's characters are great and they play them really well."

"And then I love Claire's writing style as well, she has a way with words that paints a detailed picture about a persons emotions that I envy so much."

"i like paige's diverse range of characters & her enthusiasm. she's fun to write with."

"i really love samantha's flowing writing style, and how alive her characters seem. i also really like naomi's variety in muses and how she makes them really distinct from one another while keeping a consistent writing style throughout"

"It's so hard to pick a favorite. I love how nuanced and complex Logan/Lock is. I love Dezi ( I know I have just given away my identity with this one lol), I love the kitten triplets, I love Sofia, Hans, Lorelai, Tina--I really can't pick a single character I love most because I really am always excited to see everyone's characters."

"I think Lottie. I like the way she's portrayed here, it's different from most RPs I've been in with other disney characters like this."

"charlotte la bouff, i have a soft spot for her. but for comedy vibes it's iridessa and tina"

"oz, tina, and ella. oz because of his easygoing nature, tina because of her determination to cause mayhem, and ella because of her sweetness and kindness towards everyone."

"I like that we became a big family that just loves to write with one another"

"I love how comfortable everyone is with each other. I also love that everyone is so respectful. As for the rp itself, I love that characters can develop at their own pace"

[seokjinsonlyone]

Okay, so I decided to participate last minute. I have a mini-story/daydream that’s been in my mind for three years, so I’ve got a whole story plot at this point. I’m gonna try to keep it short and not so delulu (totally delulu) but I’m assuming this is a safe space for people like me! I write books and I’m a hard BTS stan, so that’s a recipe for ultimate delusion and I’ve come to share lol. So picture this, the year is 2020. Yoongi and I are married with a one-year-old daughter, let’s call her Nova for the story’s sake. We’re currently at the In the Soop location from season 2. The rest of the members are there as well with their partners (inclusivity is a must for me) Nova is the first Bangtan baby, so she’s extra spoiled by the members, particularly Tae and JK. They’re always arguing over who’s had her the most. While they’re fussing and their partners are trying to intervene, Jimin comes in and swoops her away to the gaming room unnoticed. Joonie and his girlfriend are on the second floor of the main house seeking solace in the comfort of their favorite books trying to block out the chaos below. Jin, his partner, and Jimin’s partner are in the kitchen cooking up something delicious for the gang. Hobi and his girlfriend are having a serious dance-off in the entertainment room. You’d think it’s life or death with the way those two were going at it. But in reality, his girlfriend is 10 days overdue and she’s trying to jump-start her labor. While all of this is going on, Yoongi and I are whisked away in the camping van, because the gang would find us if we were in our room, hello! and we’re two introverts and parents of a needy baby. We DO NOT want to be found right now! There’s no talking happening, just an ASMR playlist humming softly in the background and us cuddling in the bed, getting some well-needed rest!

I’ll stop here. I could write more, but like I said, it’d turn into a full-blown book if I did that. Again, I’m not completely insane, I’m an author, so I love creating stories from anything presented to me. I saw your post and just wanted to participate. Hope you enjoyed it and sorry if you didn’t.

you're always welcome here!! this is the official breeding grounds for delusion it's like when the salmon swim upstream to go mate but like for people's whose hearts are in the palm of bangtan's hands LOL

i want you to know tho that i read this with a cup of coffee like it was the morning newspaper like i can just imagine all the chaos and this coupled with all the ptd clips i been seeing on twitter like give me my men back 😭😭😭 like taekook fighting over who got the baby the most and then jimin take her to go like play minecraft or something ugh my heart it reminds of that one namjoon bday live when they was all arguing in the background and jimin was just in front of the camera eating cake like he really always at the scene of the crime this was very comforting to read fr need this energy to continue for the next 2 years 🙏 should you have another scene you'd like to drop off my ask box is always open 🫶

[mayybirds]

I mean relevant to the story so far! It’s nice reading something without knowing what’s coming up :)

Mini-Essay it is lol! I'll restrict myself here to songs relevant to the story so far, and if anyone has specific questions about other songs on the playlist they're welcome to ask and I'll answer separately (and more vaguely without dropping major plot spoilers)--so that anyone else looking to avoid any risk of mild vibe spoilers can do so.

Some songs on the playlist honestly fit multiple portions of the story, especially some songs that I associate with Mia and Ethan, but I'll honor my song order here and speak specifically about the chronological portion of the playlist we're in so far.

Under a read-more for people's sanity lmao.

1) Go Tell Aunt Rhody, RE7 Soundtrack. This is like...the quintessential song to include in any RE7 playlist right? Like. It's canon and it just...is so good. It's an obvious inclusion. That said, this song is super close to my heart and super important to me for this fic. It speaks to my feelings on Eveline and why she's a tragic figure because the lyrics fucking know how fucked up her story is. To me it's never read as the song of a villain...it's the song of an unbelievable tragedy that started in evil--not Eveline's actions, but her creation. This song defines how I view Eveline, and how I viewed RE7. Period. Like...I literally heard it before I played the game. It's what got me to play the game. I heard this song online and fell so fucking in love with it that it (re-)introduced me to Resident Evil and kick-started my obsession with it (I knew of the franchise before then but primarily through watching older cousins play when I was a kid). TtVtL could not exist without this song lol.

2) Woke Up Dead, Blood on the Harp. This is another one of those songs that's both about the fic and about the game itself for me. It's the perfect "Ethan in the Baker House" song for me. This journey of slowly feeling like you're losing your sanity and your humanity as you descend into the darkness because you're dead, everyone's dead, nothing will ever be the same again. It's a song for a descent into madness (and if you think RE7 didn't drive Ethan at least a lil crazy idk what to tell you...it absolutely did), as you're surrounded by even further, deeper, darker madness. You are literally seeing through the eyes of the dead. And the sound is...perfect. It's country as fuck and gothic as fuck and dark as fuck and I love it. It's a song for the launch of TtVtL for me as we arrive in a familiar story and then take that initial turn from canon. Ethan having dragged himself through all this insanity and clawing his way to survival and then being confronted with that request--kill the girl, free everyone. And then the darkness reaches out and he reaches back and... well, you know what happens lol.

3) Prayer Factory, Florence + The Machine. This is the song of the void, the stumbling and running and fleeing, and then...the decision. Ethan's absolute fear of his past and his own self, his true self, and of the truths he's been confronted with. How trapped in his own mind is as he flees the bunker and oscillates between what he's supposed to do and his own instinctive knowledge it's not right. And how that instinct wins out, in the end, despite all that repression--"all the the things that I ran from I bring as close to me as I can." Ethan realizes he can't keep running from who he is, and what it means for him. He kills monsters, not people. He cannot kill Eveline, and to save her he must begin to embrace who and what he really is.

4) Build Momma a Coffin, Blood on the Harp. God, I love this song so much. It's one of the Big TtVtL songs for me, to the point where I think I even mentioned it in one of my author's notes on the fic itself. This is the first Ethan & Eveline song for me--their running away song. The song for saying "fuck it. and fuck dying here" and running and packing themselves into Lucas's car and driving the fuck out of the Baker estate. It's the song for burying their dead things, abandoning the thing they found safety in for so long. Eveline leaving the Baker Estate behind--her sanctuary, her tomb. Ethan leaving behind...Ethan Winters, in a sense. He's abandoning Mia (abandoning the whole reason he came here), and the life he lived until now where he played pretend at who he is and where he came from. He's giving up something safe and comfortable to do the right thing. They're burying Mia, burying the Bakers--building that coffin--and swearing off the lives they had previously.

5) Evelyn, Tim Killman & Silent Films. This is, probably predictably, an Eveline song lol. It's a tricky one to find the lyrics to so I'll just link them. I got recommended this song by an Anon and I fell in love with it. It's a great early!TtVtL Eveline song. Especially the imagery about decay--the lines "I've seen decay// Give way to growth // And make the most // Of nearly nothing" are gorgeous and very fitting. It's important to remember Eveline is still in a really dark place in the fic right now. She's only just left the Baker Estate, and still has a lot of work to do to begin to fully understand both her own humanity and the humanity of others. Her empathy is stunted and shattered in favor of self-preservation, and there will still be a lot of work left to Ethan to teach her that there's a difference between protecting herself and killing/hurting others when there's other options. But, this Eveline is already starting to trust Ethan. She's going to start that process of reflection, of questioning, of growth. She can become more, and she will become "preoccupied by what [she] could be."

6) Little Lies, Fleetwood Mac. Lmao the start of what is a very big Fleetwood Mac fixation with this fic. Fleetwood is Ethan's band. His favorite. Some of the Fleetwood songs in this playlist will definitely literally be referenced to in the fic itself. Because Ethan copes through music and will definitely be introducing that to Eveline. Little Lies is the song for Ethan & Mia's relationship history. That little thing inside both of them that knew the other was hiding something that they smothered out because they loved each other so much. And then the realization of the secrets, the lies, as it all spills over--first for Ethan, and then Mia when she realizes he's left her behind. There's still so much love there, and denial. A wish to go back to how they were and hide away, but the knowledge they can't.

7) Go Insane, Fleetwood Mac. This is kind of an...Ethan & Mia & Eveline song? It's about Ethan & Mia's relationship, but also Eveline's initial suspicion of Ethan and her knowledge that Mia lies and always has (and the realization that Lucas was also a liar). It's about that suspicion and lack of trust compounded by trauma and secrets and realizations. You're alone and you can't trust anyone and you go insane under the pressure of it and the lies you've been fed because insane is better than dead. It's like...the encompassing song for RE7 and the first four chapters of the fic through to Mia's breakdown. Ethan knows Mia is a liar and it broke him (but also saved him long term?), Mia knows Ethan is a liar and is shattered and grieving, Eveline knows Mia lies, and Lucas lied, and Everyone lies--is Ethan lying too? She doesn't know. She doesn't know. But she'll destory him if he is.

8) Savages, Marina and the Diamonds. This is the song for the last chapter of TvTtL, the current one I'm writing, and a little onwards. It's a song for Chris, Ethan, Lucas, and Eveline. "Underneath it all, we're just savages. Hidden behind shirts, ties, and marriages." It's something they all believe deep down--just in completely different ways. These are all characters who have seen the worst humanity has to offer and has come to expect it from almost everyone. Chris is this resigned, exhausted, bitter character--two steps from drawing his gun at all times because fuck if everyone else isn't as well, in his mind and in his world. Eveline's almost the most similar to him...she trusts no one, deep down, and she's full kill or be killed, still. Ethan has seen so much himself and is in some ways just as grimly Aware of the truths of what people can and will do to each other...but he's not resigned in the way Chris is, he still wants to try. Meanwhile Lucas...he knows and has seen all the same types of shit. The difference is that he revels in it. You've got four characters who inherently believe on some level everyone is capable of animalistic violence and have come to expect it from others when confronted--combine them and put them in conflict with each other, and it's gonna get messy.

[sneakyscarab]

i think at this point i have crossed the event horizon and am a Certified Touhou Gamer™, cause the last few games have offered very low resistance to me schmooving on through. i literally downloaded this game earlier today and i've already 1cc'd it lol

nina's thoughts on Touhou 14 - Double-Dealing Character

another one down already! at this rate i might be able to play the newest touhou game before an english patch comes out lmao. DDC was one i was looking forward to, since i had been endeared to the grassroots youkai network through a lot of cute fan content. DDC was a fairly straightforward entry, which at this rate just seems to be the touhou cycle where it gets super weird and then chills out every 4 games lol.

life pieces and bomb pieces are back again, and once again their acquisition method has changed. now both types of piece are given out by the same method, boss fight phases drop a piece, and whenever you go to the top of the screen to collect items the game gives you a piece if you collected a good amount in one go. usually it gives you bomb pieces, but every 5th one procs a life piece instead, and you only need 3 life pieces for a 1up. besides that, no gameplay gimmicks in this one!

for the playable characters we got 3 options: Reimu and Marisa of course, and the surprising return of Sakuya as player 3! each has 2 moveset options, based on either using or not using a tool of theirs that is going haywire. interestingly, the unfocused shot doesn't change between the 2 sets, only the focus shot and bomb. Reimu has homing as a base, needles when focusing without the tool, and with her tool her focus shot is a giant spinning gohei that slowly homes in and does continuous aoe damage. Marisa has illusion lasers, magic missiles without the tool, and her corrupted tool is her mini-hakkero acting as a flamethrower . Sakuya has wide-angle knife throwing, a more vertical beam without the tool, and her corrupted tool is a series of posessed knives that stick into enemies and explode after a few seconds.

i tried out each moveset once, and they were all pretty fun, except Sakuya without her tool. after i tried each one once, i gave Sakuya's corrupted tool a second try, and got my 1cc right there. the homing from the possessed knives, the wide spread on the basic shot, and especially her bomb all made for a great moveset. Sakuya's bomb works similar to Nitori's from SA where you gain a shield for a few seconds and get a partial refund if you're not hit, but even better because the initial activation also gives you i-frames allowing it to perform double-duty in bullet-dense spellcards.

for the new characters, i mean i already said it earlier, but the grassroots youkai network is pretty cool, and really just all the characters in this game are neat.

Sekibanki is my favourite, something about her design just really works for me i dunno. the colour scheme, the cape, her tall collar hiding the fact that her head isn't connected, she's just cool. plus she's besties with Kogasa in other media, who im surprised didn't show up in this game considering how well she fits the theme.

Wakasagihime is also pretty cool, im surprised it took this long for any sort of aquatic youkai to show up, and mermaids are a great fit for the games theme of youkai trying to regain their scare factor. i like how for once a new stage1 boss character actually has connections to the main plot of the game, and isnt just someone Reimu and crew bumped into along the way, even being the reason Sakuya showed up in this story at all.

its tough to pick a third cause theres plenty of good options, but i think i have to go with Seija. her power suite of flipping things is simple but it has a lot of cool applications, i love how her 'lair' is a big inverted castle floating in the sky (sick symphony of the night reference?). her boss fight is probably one of the craziest in the series, her actual bullet patterns arent particularly rough, but she uses her flipping powers to break the 4th wall and flip the game screen horizontally, vertically, and a full 180 spin, which is super cool even if it fries my brain with the inverted controls. speaking of fight gimmicks, Shinmyoumaru also does a similar wild gameplay thing in her fight where she briefly turns your sprite HUGE and disables your weapon, making you dodge danmaku with an absolutely massive hitbox until it wears off, which is also really fun and bizarre.

Double-Dealing Character was pretty fun! the lack of a new big mechanic was surprising, but the base gameplay was still great without it, with the incentive to stack up uncollected items for a big collection run being enough of a mixup to keep it interesting. the boss fights were all pretty fun, and most of them had neat unique mechanics like Sekibanki's head satellites, and the aforementioned tricks with Seija and Shinmyoumaru. the characters are also really neat, and imo much more memorable than the ones from TD. if theres one complaint i have to give DDC, its WHERE DID SANAE GO? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER? IS SAKUYA RESPONSIBLE??? IF SHE IS IM GONNA- [it was at this point that the author was suddenly struck down by a silver knife that appeared in her room seemingly out of nowhere]

[inspiteoflogic]

Lessons 17 immediate thoughts

• The on and off affection we get from lucifer has been painful. I really hope it's gonna like relate to some story plot or whatever. I'm really hoping it's not just bad writing

The few one on one scenes/interactions we get with lucifer have felt shallow because they give us not a single scene outside of those clearly "we need to add a romantic/hot scene for lucifer" or "intense lore and angst" moments. Also how they keep flip flopping his character.

all the brotherly moments, especially 17-A is adorable as hell and I love them so much

I thought the Satan mini story was cute

I like how their showing his mental and familial journey through this cat fascination

it did go on for a bit long but I don't mind that much

Drunk Solomon threw me off

he's slightly unnerving in a way I can't explain right now

The one line where he said "I _am_ insane!" made me anxious for a second

I'm glad Mc has the option to call him out on his shadiness

Solomon being hung over was funny af though

RAPHAEL'S INTRODUCTION AND THAT MIC DROP??!?

It was so tense, you could cut the real air around me I swear-

I was worried we weren't going to actually meet Rapheal in this lesson

I'm still reeling over what happened, I also need to go to sleep lol

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (12/03/23)

not as much stuff this time cause there's none of the monthly stuff but nice stuff overall except for ichigoki lol next week gonna have jojolands however 👀👀👀

Dandadan Ch96

mostly an action chap so I'll take the chance to say again, it's crazy how yukinobu can have art this good on a weekly series

the last scene was very good tho 👀

Tokyo Underworld Ch33

last chap was a bonus one which is why I didn't talk about it last week. not really a lot to say tho, chap was just setting up the action for the next few chaps, tho it did foreshadow someone dying, which my prediction is it being hirasaka but we'll see

Ichigoki's Under Control!! Ch14

bad as usual 😔 I wish it had gone the shugomaru route and just gone completely crazy when it learned it was getting axed instead of just floundering like this. oh well

The Ichinose Family's Deadly Sins Ch16

hey actually not a bad chapter, it's actually moving the story along now so that's good. the last few chaps have a been a lot more interesting than the little arcs focusing on the siblings

Ginka & Gluna Ch25

a spell that lets you exchange memories for power is a very neat concept. the author probably planned to have this in the ending from the start, which is why there was such an emphasis on travelling and adventure at the beggining, but because it's getting axed it feels less impactful since we and (in our perspective) the characters have spent less time on this journey. however, despite that I can appreciate the idea, shame it didn't get to realize it's full potential

Fabricant 100 Ch13

whoa 3 good chaps in a row that's crazy tho I don't think that'll save it

Jiangshi X Ch8

nice chap with a good balance of plot and action, tho I still think what I predicted next time will happen

Tokyo Demon Bride Story Ch26

not a lot to say, not a bad chap at all, still a shame it didn't get more time

Witch Watch Ch100

whoa the big 100!! used up on dropping us on chap 171 of the popular in-universe manga... like this chara said in the chap:

Cipher Academy Ch15

another nisio barrage page, the end was good tho 👀

also this was cute

Mashle Ch147

ah yes, the good ol "guy stays behind to fight to buy the mc time" trope. cool chap tho

Blue Box Ch92

2nd anniversary 🎉🎉I've said it before but it's really refreshing to have a female author on jump, and for her series to be so successful. was a really good chap for the anni too. that last panel 👀👀👀

Sakamoto Days Ch110

another great action chap thank you for the food 🙏

The Elusive Samurai Ch101

I honestly didn't expect ashikaga to move out already that's very spooky for our mcs, also prob anime announcement next week?👀

Akane-banashi Ch53

another amazing chap like usual😩god akane is so good

Ayakashi Triangle Ch123

a nice chap to cooldown from that mini hinojiki arc, I'm rooting for girl matsuri tho

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I HAD A FEELING IT WAS THE DREAM

oh.

Ok jk LMAOO yk i have much more to say but BROTJRHSIZ THE ANGST STOPP NO WERE LEAVING KARASU ALONE??? Yukimiya the ultimate OPP here DHDVSHSHS well!! I guess at least they’re both dead!! Insert that one gif of that emoji reaching its hands up screaming and it like gets thanos snapped dissolves away anyways all of these longer series you have in the works are all bangers I can’t wait to read them all

LMAO “(a loser)” REAL wait tullieita does sound better just means Tullias gotta be first in the relationship LMAOO but FR gotta keep the og four familial SHSHS PSLSL I can imagine people in the fandom who would say that but had that actually happened???? That’s actually so crazy like bro what it’s not that deep just respect whatever people wanna ship doesn’t mean you gotta agree…..ok because I was lowk feeling the tullireo vibes but yeah to be safe maybe tullisagi is the move LOL (back to the origins!!) esp now that you said Isagis gonna be more relevant I think that’ll be good

Oliver aikus guide to getting girls just being there is so funny LMAOAOA it stands out so much because ifs lengthier than all the other ones too it’s hilarious I’m loving the duality though

LMAOAAO I’m gonna be waiting for the jaw dropping final wc reveal it’ll be orv on a mini scale at least!! but AHAH OP NAGIY/N KIDS imagine these kids just running around steamrolling every trainer in sight!!

Wait also unrelated BUT idk if I’m getting too into this but thoughts on different types of pokeballs and if anyone would use any…I know I exclusively used ultra balls for the higher catch rate and then would kinda color coordinate for pokemon I particularly liked (I loved the dive ball aesthetic….)

LFMAOAOAO Karasu traumatized too much “I’m not doing anything until you’re buried in your grave”

WAIT IMAGINE ZANTETSU IN POKEMON AU LMAOOOO is there a train pokemon /j i bet he’d try to collect smart pokemon and end up bossed around by them OR like otoya gets scammed and ends up with not as cool looking ones HAHA

But FR as long as he doesn’t completely drop some plot lines like gege I’ll be happy honestly I’m just here to see my favs in action tbh

LAMAOAOA I love aiku slandering them it’s so funny he’s gonna be so fed up with all these lovesick losers I bet he’s like “bro just hurry up and rizz her up already”

HSHSHA EGO FIC but FR that panel really did noa justice

- Karasu anon

LMAOOO YES IT WAS THE DREAM!!! you know i wouldn’t slide smth so specific in there for 0 reason 😏🤫

JFKDJDJS I TOLD YOU YUKI IS A VILLAIN he’s like ACTUALLY evil in hollyhock (although in his defense literally no one else is much better) for real though i think the only series where gets justice is pursuit and the oaeu (because in fwtkac karasu stays slandering him, in hollyhock he’s a villain, and he like is completely irrelevant to peregrine to the point that i don’t even think he’ll be mentioned in it) HAHA agreed at least they are together in the afterlife!! it’s kind of emo when you think about it though like otoya was the only one to genuinely ever love reader (it’s also revealed that anri, who’s the only servant that’s nice to reader, is the one who sold the hiiragis out to the yukimiyas/otoya [that’s who eita is referencing when he’s all like “you can’t trust everyone around you isn’t that sad]) and that’s why his death/“betrayal” in particular expedited her spiral sm…like she was already losing it beforehand + his betrayal would be bad for business but she genuinely could not bear the thought of him not “belonging” to her (which in hollyhock-reader-ese means him not loving her) anymore truly such a tragic pairing…tbh does otoya even deserve such a magnificent plot???? NO 😭😩 but no one else fits it as well as he does at the same time

HAHA tullia on top fr 🤩 i agree i think reader and co as a little family unit is so fun plus then we can keep that karasu + otoya dadfailures agenda going because i just think the thought of them trying to mentor reader and tullia meanwhile those two are just like 😐😬 is SO FUNNY especially because one of the earlier arcs is the arc with yukimiya and ofc both girls are super eager to learn from HIM so karasu and otoya are just like damn what does he have that we don’t…(the answer is a full and developed team, an actual relationship with chris prince NOT based on his online subscriptions, several contest ribbons and championships, and model rizz [his nickname is the “king of kalos” for a reason hehe])

okay so me personally i have never actually gotten comments like that but i see them everywhere (i saw a post saying it’s homophobic to write shidou with a female reader because he’s clearly gay i was like oh…interesting take…) so i’m super paranoid KFJFJD my blog has remained fairly unproblematic somehow which is crazy given how many followers i have!! and i’d like to maintain that…but at the same time i think if i write it well people might not be too mad?? because i can lowkey really see the tullireo vision too (idk if you’ve seen those tik toks where it’s like “working hard so my future wife can own a bookshop that loses money” but that’s soooo tullireo to me like “working hard so my future wife can be a pokémon breeder who gets overly attached to her eggs and refuses to sell them” LMAOO) their teams also kinda give off the same vibes if that makes sense (hold on i’ll copy paste for reference since both of them haven’t been super relevant in our convos so idek their teams off of the top of my head)

tullia: infernape [starter], lilligant, vivillon, lanturn, granbull, hitmonchan

reo: gallade [starter], cinccino, mawile, persian, flygon, florges

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN like their pokémon just fit really well together…does this mean their vibes are also adjacent…wait actually we know chigiri and tullia are gossip buddies + chigiri and reo are probably closer than in this au than in canon because half of the time nagi’s off getting involved in reader’s bs so they kind of HAVE to be friends + otoya and tullia have a menacing sibling vibe to them…imagine chigiri and otoya team up and they’re like “are you thinking what i’m thinking” so they’re just trying to set up tullireo (chigiri wingman goat he’s putting aiku to shame atm…tullireo AND nagiy/n give my man a break ‼️) and maybe THAT’S why otoya is acting off when tullia goes on a date with loki?? then when reader and karasu are like “bro are you good” he’s just like no i’m HEARTBROKEN and for a solid few chapters reader and karasu just think otoya likes tullia but is too shy to say smth…meanwhile he’s just emo because his otp just got ruined (it was only a temporary setback though TRUST tullia will lock in and get that bag when needed/chigiri will lock in and force them together before he loses more hair and brain cells thinking abt them)

tbh isagi does pull up a lot but he’s kinda weird about it?? like even though he’s supposed to be nagi’s age (and therefore reader’s) i think i HAVE to make him older because the role he plays just has that mentor-type energy…because he’s an e4 candidate he knows a lot more than the others so he always comes, drops some key info, and then leaves to coordinate w the other league members so while tullisagi could work i’m actually thinking abt it more and idk if that’s the vibe isagi is giving off rn 🤔 i’m not sure if i’m explaining his role well HAHAHA…like examples of the times he appears: first appearance when he mentions he knows barou, second (i think??) appearance when he rescues tabitullieita from team x while reader’s battling ego and explains more about how barou is the head (or so they believe), fourth appearance when he + reader and co + manshine trio discover the government’s involvement with team x and he flies off to inform his superiors (aka noel noa and the rest of the masters), fifth appearance when he gives reader the results of barou’s autopsy and reassures her that she did not kill him, and then final appearance when he’s there w the rest of the e4 candidates during reader’s battle against mr mikage/her exposing the government SO like he’s def there and relevant and vital but a) six appearances in 24 arcs is not great and b) he’s just giving gandalf energy LMAOOO IDK LOWKEY YOU’VE CONVERTED ME TO TULLIREOISM 😭😭😭

okay but imagine you’re like that fuck ass kid bug catcher joey or whatever and you see this sleepy looking fluffy white haired little girl (another headcanon i have is that reader’s genes did NOT fight whatsoever…like continuing w the theme they have an older son and a younger daughter and the son is a carbon copy of BAROU while the daughter is a mini female nagi but neither resembles reader herself at all 😭) with only one pokéball just wandering around and you’re like BAZINGA easy cash so you challenge her to a battle and she just sends out an AEGISLASH?? and when you look closer it’s not just any aegislash, it’s the one that fought on y/n “the reluctant champion” l/n’s team 😩 you’re fr cooked atp like yeah aegislash is no galvantula but it carries a FAIR share of battles once it finally joins the team 😰

wait speaking of the nagiy/n kids imagine their daughter is like a classic little kid and asks reader how she and nagi met and reader’s like uhhhh well my houndoom bullied his arcanine, we became rivals, we saved each other from an evil team that was headed by your uncle’s corpse, then we got isekai’d for a moment??? by aegislash actually…then some other stuff happened blah blah blah and their daughter is just standing there like damn me and who 😓⁉️

OOH POKÉBALLS well to start off with i know for a FACT that every single one of reo’s pokémon are in luxury balls only the best for reo “young prince” mikage!! reader’s gyarados is probably in a lure ball because she got it from a fisherman!! and those are more effective on pokémon caught while fishing…also her houndoom was a gift from barou so i can lowkey see it being in a premier ball because he wanted to splurge or smth yk 🤔 i think tullia’s lilligant is probably in a love ball idk why the vibes are just there ☝🏻 nagi’s snorlax could be in a heavy ball because the conditions are right (maybe reo had one lying around and gave it to him??) and all of karasu’s birds are in quick balls because yayoi would just buy them in bulk and throw them at pokémon before battling them and whichever ones stuck were the ones she took back to evaluate (i personally love quick balls i always give them a shot on the first turn of an encounter because they have a 5x boost on the first turn!! and if they don’t work i just get to battling but it never hurts to try) also lowkey nagi’s reuniclus in a dusk ball would be fire for the green spooky aesthetic 🤩

PLSSS i feel like zantetsu would almost be the reverse otoya because otoya wants to go for looks and ends up with a negative aura team in terms of aesthetics but they’re all super powerful meanwhile zantetsu chooses whichever pokémon look super strong but they end up being rlly weak?! like abomasnow HAHAHA omg that’s def his signature pokémon because it’s super big and tough and rare (it’s super hyped up in the anime too??) but then one day he encounters manshine trio and nagi’s arcanine accidentally sneezes an ember around the abomasnow and it’s GONE LMAOO yk reo’s never letting him live that down either

i WOULD say aiku deserves damage pay but tbh this is his karma he deserves it (plus he’ll get a girl of his own at the end of things) i think it’s funny too that with sae and barou he’s actively pushing them to get with reader versus with tabieitaken he’s like offering “gentle” guiding advice (aka how to be a player for reader with otoya and how to be a homewrecker for karasu) and then with reo and nagi bro is actively plotting on their girls??? like his involvement with reo is literally him being like “let me rizz up your future wife” and reo’s like erm wait actually no…meanwhile the entire nagi plot is so dumb it’s funny 😭 lowkey reader in the nagi version is my hero simply because that one is going to be SO humbling for aiku 😩 a girl choosing the guy he brought specifically to make himself look better i know aiku is FUMING

YKW THE EGO FIC COOKED TOO reader and noa lowkey were stealing the show so i had to stop though they were really really cute basically it was dependent on that one line about noa being from the slums?? and in the fic reader was just left on his doorstep when they were both kids so he took her in because he had no one else to love so he was like “ok i’ll love her” FJSKJDSJ anyways…

vomiting ngl…the way i just never even got to writing ego because i became so fascinated by the reader and noa dynamic before giving up entirely HSHSJJA anyways the thing about the lights and the homework is they can’t afford electricity so once it’s dark reader can’t do her homework anymore!! and their roof was leaking so it ruined her homework while she did it so she wasn’t able to finish which is why the extent of noa’s aspirations are “big house with electricity” 😭 and the grocery store thing is because he works basically all day loading and unloading inventory at a store so he’s always exhausted and hates his work BUT even though his shift starts super early in the morning he still got up even earlier to do reader’s hw for her 😓 LMAOOO meanwhile ego’s in japan doing who knows what 😩 anyways agreed they completely yassified noel noa i was AWED!!

OKAY ONE MORE THING

wake up babe pursuit graphic just dropped ‼️ it’s much much simpler than usual but for the au i really like it it just fits so well imo (plus houndoom!!)

[gleefullypolin]

I am still highly distracted by the spoilers and suffering for it but hearing that both Obi Wan is done after ep4 and that the carriage scene is also in ep4, I think a lot of the over the top yelling about Kenebling I saw was a touch dramatic.

(not that I am also not dramatic, I am and will continue to be so)

I haven't read or thought much on Penelope possibly having a dream but if she does...good for us, ha. I know the metadata said a dream in ep2 but in my head (and the way I'd write a fic) it would be near the end of the ep to bookend the brothel scene at the front to contrast both how he acts with her and his feelings for her over the episode. Cue wake up scene and fade to black for a mini cliffhanger before going into the 3rd ep where that garden scene is supposed to be for real. What a ride it's going to be.

Knowing we get some serious yearning, jealousy, horny jail vibes and they pretty much have to be eps 2-4 before the carriage scene that's so much to work in through 3 episodes, Obi Wan feels so much more like a plot device than anything else at this point.

Oh they are so angry about the promo. Every time I open twitter I see a new and offensive bad take on why we're getting promo but they didn't (in 2022, with the pandemic restrictions still going strong no less). It's nasty behavior and says a lot more about them than it does about s3. Truly one season per couple is perfect. No pressure to break them up for drama, no storylines fading and feeling hugely OOC or painful for almost a whole season just to act like the huge conflict never happened because they're moving onto the next one. I will happily let the next couple take the spotlight and all the better if I manage to get invested in them along the way.

20 years? That's so impressive! Adulting and too much of it, I agree, but impressive nonetheless.

I am so distracted and still searching down holes I probably would never go down to find more spoilers LOL! But I need all of them. I did see that we only get Obi Wan in 1, 3 and 4. And I would be good with that. I saw the Carriage spoiler and girl I died. I saw it ends on a cliffhanger and I will say I do have a rule about no cliffhangers because they give me the GREATEST anxiety there is. So as soon as episode ends I will be back down my spoiler hole for episode 5.

I think if you look up the word dramatic in the dictionary (something they definitely had when I was younger) it would have my name listed there. I read something that brothel scene number 1 happens in episode 2 and that brother scene number 2 didn’t come until episode FOUR! FOUR!!! I said. Yes I got dramatic again. I might have dropped to my knees in true Darth Vader style and yelled NOOOOOOO! But then I said Stacy…and Yes I talk to myself a lot…I said Stacy shut the front door, it will be ok. And then I was fine. Because then I remembered that no one knows really anything past episode one and we are all making stuff up in our heads and getting paranoid now.

I think its going to be fun and games and yearning and pining with a pinch of annoying there is this other suitor who likes veggies hanging out in the back for a couple of episodes and then all of a sudden episode 4 there is going to be some serious shit going down. And whatever happens in that one is going to be the ballgame. Because I noticed we only got like 3 screenshots from that episode. Like two of her in her dress dancing with Lord Kenobi at the ball and her serious face as he’s talking to her. And then Colin all angry and serious on the stairs…so what the hell goes down in 4 because damn. That’s where it all goes sideways and they end up literally sideways in a carriage!

I saw more beautiful promo today of Nic and Newts in Australia and it made me just flutter and flurry and not care that everyone was angry about it because it was so sweet and pure that you have to be mad and crazy to be angry about it. The things I have read that they keep saying about them is just trash and not nice. I’m happy it’s one season because if you focus on a couple for too long, writers have a tendency to screw it up by adding in dumb things to keep the story interesting like new love interests or fake drama that no one asked for. I’ve watched too many Ryan Murphy shows to trust writers. I want to see them happy and sexed up next season and running off to find a room. Maybe Colin can throw in a couple lines of “My wife” to make me giggle too.

I was ok with 20 years until my co workers told me it was like 41,600 hours of my life…though I’m pretty sure a lot of those hours were sneaking off to read fanfiction too.

[skylights422]

Real late game, but I wanted to quick drop a mini review of X-Men 97 episode 4! This one was really two minisodes, and while I think both had strong aspects, I ultimately feel like both would have been a lot better as individual, full length episodes.

First, Motendo. It occurs to me that when I did my post on romance drama in the series, I completely left out Jubilee and Roberto? xD Partially because they really don't have that much Drama yet, and partially because my entire reaction to them this whole time has been 'lol okay' so I forgot they existed when I was writing the post initially.

But I actually do like them well enough as a duo, or at least I don't especially dislike them, so I'm peaceably neutral towards them as a couple. Like their dynamic is a little corny I guess and a little fast, but it's not doing anything to really annoy me. I just like Jubilee mostly and think Roberto is Okay (the internalized mutant bigotry thing is an interesting angle to explore but they're almost being SO casual about it that it doesn't formally feel like a Thing yet, but I'm sure more will happen with it later)

BUT BACK TO THE EPISODE. The relationship development was decent, and the action and comedy of the Mojo section I thought was superficially super fun to watch. And seeing Jubilee get some attention and even build up her powers more was really cool! She never got to fight enough with her powers in the original show, so seeing her action was a ton of fun. The video game references were really entertaining as well.

But I do think the 'deeper' part of the episode didn't...make a lot of sense, or at least was executed in a rather confusing way. We start off with a Team Scene, and the initial conflict is that Magneto shot down any chance of the team celebrating her birthday against the popular vote (literally the whole team was judging him SO HARD for saying no to the arcade, which I did appreciate lol). Once they're in the game, though, they act as if she had some kind of conflict about getting older or wanting to stay in the past? Which...she never really showed at all, so that being the conflict that got 'resolved' at the end felt kind of random.

At first I was like 'are they...trying to say liking video games is childish and she is acting like a kid by wanting to go to an arcade with her family to celebrate???' except no, because Old Jubilee still thought video games were cool. And then I realized, the few lines about things being more confusing now and the old days being 'simpler' was supposed to be a stand in for actually having an episode arc about wanting to avoid thinking about the Big Plot Drama, and that was probably more what they thought they were resolving with the whole 'let go of the past' thing. Which...isn't a terrible idea? Except the execution was really confusing - there wasn't much set up about her specifically trying to avoid thinking about the current real world issues, she literally just wanted to celebrate her birthday instead of spending the whole day training.

And the whole 'Magneto was right' bit fell flat for me because the only part he could have been right about was when he said training was important so that she had a higher survival rate - except that was said before she entered the room, and their argument wasn't even really about that. And we've never seen her seriously try to get out of training that I remember anyways.

What I would have really liked for this episode is if more of the team - including at least Magneto but preferably some others as well - got wrapped up in the Mojo plot, so the team dynamic could be developed a lot more since that was what we opened with as our conflict. Plus, with a full episode length we could have really SHOWN some more of Jubilee's struggles - with grappling with the current team drama, or aging, or really whatever as long as it was set up right - and Magneto learning that the team functions as much as a family as it does a professional team, and he has to embrace that a bit if he expects the others to warm up to him. He and Jubilee could have bonded! He learns about the family stuff from her, and she gets to learn some elder wisdom from him. AND IT COULD HAVE ENDED WITH THEM ALL GOING TO THE ARCADE TOGETHER AND MAGNETO CLEARLY BEING A BIT AWKWARD THERE BUT CLEARLY A WILLING PARTICIPANT IN IT ALL.

And I dunno, they could probably still fit her bonding with Roberto somewhere in there lol, I am admittedly a lot more invested in the team found family dynamics than any individual romantic ones. X) But still, even if it was more of a b-plot, the romance could still happen and maybe Roberto could even have some kind of more interaction with the team - and get a better first hand idea of why it means so much to Jubilee and what the potential benefits of 'coming out' could be.

I still find the minisode they actually made to be fun to watch, but the writer in me can't help but think about how good of a bottle episode this COULD have been with more time and focus.

AND THEN we get Lifedeath Part 1. I personally felt this was the weaker half of the episode? They're telling a much more 'serious' story, but it got far less screentime. Storm and Forge's scenes felt...awkward? And like either some amount of time had passed that we kind of needed to see, or else Forge was just really weird and fell in love SUPER fast. It felt odd and rushed to me, in a way even episode 3 didn't. Episode 3 was EXTREMELY rushed but it didn't leave out anything essential for understanding the heart of the story, whereas this felt fast in a choppy way where I did not feel I was understanding the heart of the story fully. Storm struggling with her loss of powers was the strongest part to me, since that carried on from where we left off better. And I'm already very invested in Storm as a character, so they didn't need to work as hard to make me care about that struggle.

The editing was also kind of surreal and confusing in a dreamy way? But given the OWL TWIST I am willing to grant some of this was deliberate and simply would have landed better with more time to bake. I DID LIKE THE OWL TWIST, THOUGH. That had tension and was a lot more interesting to me than her sorta kinda bonding with Forge. AND WAS JUST VERY SPOOKY, AND I DIG SPOOKY. It doesn't make much sense yet and probably also could have used a bit more build up, but I dug it overall and it made me wonder about where they were going with it. I think the second part of the arc will probably be a Lot better since it's a full episode.

So yeah, of the first four episodes I do think this one was the weakest so far, but I didn't think it was outright awful or anything. It had stuff going for it! I just once again wish we had more episodes this season, or that the writers had been less stubborn about fitting x amount of plot things in and had managed their episode count a bit better.

[isagisyoichi]

YOU MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL!

SYNOPSIS: niko as your boyfriend

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: niko ikki aka my boyfriend hello

WARNINGS: swearing, pretend all the boys go to the same school and they're all friends for plot, normalize not writing serious boys as someone that practically hates their s/o and never opens up to them god bless, also no such thing as ooc since we dunno shit ab him so everything i say is law. SUPER LONG LOL, it's like 2k+ words 😭

A/N: i love my boyfriend and i'm v happy about all the attention he's getting (even if he will prob will b subbed out 👎) this was fun to write bc i think he would b very soft as bf and also i hate the notion that stoic and serious = boring and detached in a relationship. also first post w the new user yayyyy rip yoichisagis an end of an era for realsies.

FOR: fox anon my beloved this one is for u😩

it takes a while for you two to get together, just because niko wants to think things through and be sure he’s making the right decision, as well as him being naturally apprehensive about this whole dating thing.

when you do eventually start going out, keep in mind you're probably his first real anything, so-

niko needs to take it slow for the first month or so because he needs time to adjust and get used to being in a relationship.

when he gets comfortable around you, niko starts to talk a lot more.

niko starts to talk about his interests more-soccer, stem stuff (idc i'll die by my hc that he's a stem boy), etc. and niko's really happy that you're genuinely interested in what he has to say :)

and as your relationship progresses, niko becomes more inclined to share his inner thoughts.

“this song is so bad, i hate it and how it's everywhere,” like, babe that sucks, but what do you want me to do, take it off the radio myself? 😭

you find out that niko’s kind of a hater LOL, but it’s okay, because it means he can be himself around you <3 and the mini debates you have with each other are fun.

he’s someone you can take shopping with you if you need a solid second opinion.

“ikki, is this cute?” you niko as you adjust the shirt you tried on in the fitting room mirror.

“no.” he’s so straight up LOL. “the blue one from earlier was better.”

“this one?”

“yeah, that one. you look really pretty in it.”

ngl though, niko’s not much of a mall person. he'd just follow you around like a little puppy LOL, but he doesn't mind too much because it's for you.

communication is important to niko!!!!! he wants someone that he can have real conversation about the things that matter to him, so he rly makes an effort to have that kind of connection with you.

niko's naturally funny but he isn't aware that he is lol.

but when he does try, i feel like his humor comes in the form of sarcasm and dry wit. likes poking fun at you here and there with a lighthearted jab.

"you're so weird, y/n," is the most common one.

niko’s naturally closed off emotionally (male aquarius 😒) but i, personally, think he’d really try and push himself to be more open with you, especially if you expressed for him to do so </3

he'd be really appreciative of someone patient and understanding of the fact that he doesn't open up easily, though.

but eventually, you become the person closest to him- niko confides in you a lot, which he’s grateful for because he usually holds everything in.

not one for pda or other lovey-dovey things in public, other than the occasional holding of hands but behind closed doors, niko’s so soft around you, it’s like he’s a completely different person.

also, i feel like niko’s real handsy with you, i get the vibe he’s super touch starved 😭

although it does take him a while to get used to physical affection, once he has, niko cannot get enough. he’s always touching you when he has no real reason to.

(and because you're his first relationship, i feel like it’s just natural that niko’s going to be kind of clingy towards you.)

“you okay, ikki?” you ask as niko suddenly wraps his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“mhm,” he mumbles. “just wanna be close to you.”

niko likes when you sit on his lap when he’s on his computer. you can have your arms wrapped around his neck, your head resting in the crook of his neck, or you could just be on your phone or whatever, it doesn’t matter, niko just likes you near him.

you guys don’t really talk to each other when you do this, aside from niko occasionally checking up on you and asking if you need anything from him.

but other than that, you guys just enjoy each other's touch in silence. it’s one of his favorite things to do with you.

however, if you start kissing him in the middle of whatever he’s doing and keep it up for long enough, niko will drop everything to make out with you right then and there (also one of his favorite things to do with you).

speaking of kissing- you kiss niko first.

niko would try to plan your guys first kiss out because he wants everything to be perfect.

but, he ends up taking forever to execute it because he keeps overthinking and you can only wait so long before kissing him, so you take matters into your own hands.

his kisses are sloppy and juvenile at the beginning, but he’s smart and learns quickly what you do and don’t like.

likes being kissed on his jaw and forehead the most :')

if the team ever happens to see niko kissing you, they're gonna be so annoying 😭

"yooo niko's making big moves ‼️" "my son's growing up on me!😩" "good job *pats on the back*" and niko is red all over as he drags you away from them, muttering about how childish and annoying they are 😭.

but, they're all very supportive of you guys, even if they're embarrassing as hell 🙄.

they even give niko relationship advice- which luckily, he doesn’t follow (most of the time), because, let’s be honest, if you're getting unsolicited dating tips from a bunch of teenage boys, it’s probably bad 😭.

you’re the only person niko shows his forehead to. just know that having the opportunity to see it means that niko trusts you more than anyone else :’)

repay his trust by kissing his forehead lovingly and showering him with compliments whenever you can !!!!!!!!!!

“y/n, why’re you so embarrassing,” niko says under his breath, blushing as you hold his face and litter soft kisses on his forehead, rambling about how cute he is.

always looks for you in the bleachers when he has a game and you’re always the first person he talks to after.

and the fact that you make an effort to come as often as you can means sooo much to him. definitely considers you to be his biggest fan.

real classy with nicknames- uses “my love/love,” and “darling,” the most.

his favorite petname from you is "pretty boy." gives him butterflies each time he hears it.

the first time you call him that, he's confused, but after you explain that being called pretty is basically the highest compliment a boy can receive, he gets all soft on you.

only uses instagram to like and comment on your pictures and that's it 😭.

comments stuff like “you're so pretty” and "beautiful," without any emojis because niko refuses to use them LOL.

remembers the compliments you give him! they help with his self esteem and i feel like he values your opinion a lot.

so, tell him all about how cute and smart and talented and hot and funny he is and how much you love him and he'll replay it in his head 24/7.

i think he prefers to be the big spoon, unless he's sad- then he really wants you to hold him.

niko gives me homebody vibes, so expect relaxed dates, but still nice, yk?

what i mean is niko's not gonna take you out to get gas station food and call it a day 😭 he's classier than that and he always puts in effort towards dates.

he always plans them ahead of time and takes into consideration what he thinks you'd enjoy. and he insists on paying 🤗.

but, niko always does something special for days like your birthday or an anniversary, like go somewhere fancy if you wanted to or buy a nice gift you've been eyeing for a while.

helps you with your schoolwork, 100%. most of the time niko tutors you because he wants you to actually learn the material, but if you're feeling lazy and just wanna get it over with, niko will just give you the answers.

this is a big deal because i love him and all but, niko gives me the vibe he's super stingy with his work 😭.

"this is the last time i'm going to just give you the answers, y/n." niko sighs out. "you have to start doing your homework by yourself."

niko's said that dozen of times but he's still giving you the answers free of charge. can you guys say #whipped 🤣?

LOL speaking of school, if you ever text him during class, i highly doubt that niko would entertain you 😭😭 (it's out of love, though)

y/n 💗: hiii baby imy 🥰

pretty boy: do your work, y/n.

y/n 💗: ALL I DID WAS SAY HI

pretty boy: pay attention.

y/n 💗: fine ur so lame 👎

pretty boy: whatever you say. i miss you too, by the way.

he likes to moves your hair out your face because he wants to see your pretty face better.

which is why you have to do the same with him 🥰!!!!!! makes him blush like crazy.

gets soooo soft when you post him or even take pictures of you and him together :') just the thought of you wanting to show him off makes him soooo happy.

he won't entertain you if you make a tiktok, though LOL. he's very stubborn in his belief that it's stupid.

just stands in the background with his arms crossed if you try to make him do a dance or something 😭 (he does think you look cute, though).

niko has such nice eyelashes but i doubt he's aware of it 'cause he's, y'know, a boy 🙄.

"my eyelashes are ... cute?" he questions. niko wasn't even aware that such a trivial thing like his eyelashes could be considered cute.

"yes, oh my god," you gush. "they're so long and nice, i wish mine were like that," you groan, examining yours through the camera of your phone.

"you're so weird, y/n," he says, a blush staining his cheeks. "your eyelashes are nicer," he mumbles as he kisses your forehead.

he's one of those people that prefers to be alone, but you're the exception. you know?

niko likes to keep to himself most of the time, but that whole thing doesn't apply to you, because he'd choose to be with you over being alone anytime :')

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 308: VIBE: CHECKED

Previously on BnHA: Lots and lots of Shindou idk what else to tell you.

Today on BnHA: Tired Nomad Deku rescues Shindou from Muscular, and us from Shindou. Muscular is all “OH BOY I SURE CAN’T WAIT TO FIGHT DEKU AGAIN AFTER HE TOTALLY KICKED MY ASS THE LAST TIME!! I’M SURE THIS TIME WILL GO DIFFERENTLY SEEING AS HE’S HAD ALMOST AN ENTIRE YEAR’S WORTH OF ADDITIONAL TRAINING, AND ALSO HAS SIX FOURQUIRKS NOW, IN ADDITION TO THE CONFIDENCE THAT COMES WITH HAVING EIGHT OTHER PEOPLE’S SOULS CHILLING OUT INSIDE HIM OFFERING MORAL SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT.” Deku is all, “[kicks Muscular’s ass effortlessly].” Muscular is all, “[gets his ass totally kicked].” I for one am very satisfied with this, and with respect to all, I would like to hereby declare this post a discourse-free zone. I’m just happy to see my son out here making good use of his FOURQUIRKS, and more importantly beating Muscular in less than seventeen pages so we can all go on with our lives lol.

damn Deku since when were you allowed to look this cool

from this perspective and with the smoke, cape, backpack, and mask more or less obscuring his actual profile, he looks less like a sixteen-year-old boy and more like a grownass man

OH SNAP

we got a glimpse of this in the cleaned-up scan of 307, but seeing both of his eyes looking so distinctively All Might-esque here is... whoa. I mean we know that his face still looks pretty normal underneath the mask and he doesn’t actually have the black sclera, but still, this is an awesome look. mini-Might

lol Muscular

you and me both. I mean no offense, but yeah

so Deku is just standing there silently

typical Deku. tight-lipped and expressionless. mum’s the word. quiet as a mouse. silent as a grave

okay no but seriously this is so weird and creepy though you guys. Deku please say something or else I’m just gonna mindlessly say whatever stupid things come into my head in an effort to make things less awkward

so Muscular is all “I should probably make a cool speech about revenge but Horikoshi couldn’t think of anything good so I’m just going to stand here clenching my fist real slowly”

“I’m not here to go on a monologue” he says, as he monologues about not monologuing

okay you guys I confess I have only read through/watched the Deku VS Muscular fight once because the arm-breaking is just way too uncomfortable for me to revisit. and so as a result, I have completely forgotten Whatever The Deal Is with Muscular’s eye lmao so let me go look it up real quick

okay so it’s a prosthetic, obviously, and he changes it out according to his mood. that part does sound familiar. I just can’t remember which eye is supposed to indicate which mood. don’t tell me I actually have to go back and reread this shit

lol I’m skimming through chapter 75 now and remembering/realizing that I hardly paid any attention to this the first time around because as soon as I found out the villains were after Kacchan my brain was like “TIME TO FOCUS ON THIS AND ONLY THIS NOW AND FOREVER” and yeah. ah memories

anyway so he started out with the flower-looking eye, and then later on he was all

which begs the question, how on earth could I have ever forgotten the most ridiculous panel I’ve ever read lmao

anyway, but so after all of that, I'm only just now realizing that this isn't one of his previous eye prosthetics in the current chapter; this is an ACTUAL FUCKING ROCK that he's just randomly shoved into his eye socket fkdsjlk

so basically (1) I did all of that painstaking research for nothing, five whole minutes of my life wasted THANKS A LOT, and (2) what, and I have never meant this more emphatically, THE FUCK

anyway so now he's leaping at the building that Deku is standing on top of. but he’s not aiming anywhere near Deku though, wtf

(ETA: HAHA YOU BROKE ALL YOUR MUSCLES YOU LOSER.)

...huh

lmao okay then. I hope those annoying citizens in the building next door are watching this go down and rethinking their life choices

dlkdkljk

just keep standing there pressed right up against the window, why don’t you. “WHAT’S GOING ON THIS SUPER CLOSE COLLAPSING BUILDING IS BLOCKING OUR VIEW.” well, folks, we’ve long since known there’s a critical shortage of hero and villain brain cells, but what we’re learning now is that civilian brain cells are also in short supply

OH THANK GOD DEKU IS FINALLY TALKING THAT WAS ACTUALLY UNSETTLING AS FUCK

SO HE’S STILL OUR GOOD, POLITE, WORRIED, CONSIDERATE DEKU UNDERNEATH THAT COOL AND MYSTERIOUS VENEER. for real, thank fuck, because I swear to god if he suddenly started acting like the Dekus in all of the vigilante AUs my interest in this series would have dropped something like 50% lol. just because he dropped out of school and ran away from home and is currently dressed like the physical manifestation of a Linkin Park playlist doesn’t mean he’s not still the WORLD’S BIGGEST DORK okay

I MEAN, THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. HE’S APOLOGIZING FOR THE DELAY

PLEASE FIND THE ATTACHED SHINDOU YOU REQUESTED. BEST REGARDS!!!

OH MY GOD WHY IS HE SUCH A BADASS

something about making bold, confident statements while obscured in smoke?? idk but damn it fucking works

ffjkkl

more importantly, should you tell him you actually need your copy of Shindou in excel format and not pdf?? on the one hand you don’t want to sound ungrateful, but on the other hand what are you even supposed to do with this

this chapter so far consists of like 50% smoke, but on the other hand Deku VS Kacchan 2 had a lot of cinematic smoke too so who am I to complain

OMG IS IT HIS ARMS

IDK DID YOU?! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS. PLEASE, AT SOME POINT THIS FIGHT HAS GOT TO ACTUALLY ADVANCE THE PLOT

OHHHHHHH

IT’S EN’S QUIRK!! OH MY GOD OKAY THAT’S ACTUALLY AWESOME

I CAN HEAR THE SOUND OF DISCOURSE RUMBLING IN THE BACKGROUND BUT I DON’T CARE LOL. WON’T CATCH ME EVER SAYING NO TO ANOTHER SIXQUIRK. GO AHEAD, BRING THEM ON, I WANT TO SEE THEM ALL but take it easy though Deku. don’t want to give yourself lung cancer or anything

also it’s good to see that in a very real sense he’s not fighting alone. the Vestiges really did mean it when they said they could appear more easily now. this is on a whole other level

so is this whole next page still En talking, or someone else? because whoever it is sure is chatty

okay, several things

pretty sure it is En, because he keeps saying “I suppose.” for someone who never said two words until one page ago, this guy sure never shuts up. we can’t all follow Muscular’s lead I suppose. oh my god now I’m doing it too

really like the suggestion of Deku using the SIXQUIRKS like tools in an arsenal, because that’s what he’s good at! it’s almost like he’s been training for this his entire life. “you value quirks too much” LOOK HE JUST THINKS THEY’RE COOL OKAY IS THAT A CRIME

where the fuck did all this rope come from

not gonna ask what the fuck that thing is sticking out from the back of his utility belt. Horikoshi will surely explain this

is that a fucking jetpack. I’m sorry Deku were six fucking quirks not enough for you. you can fucking float??? but JUST TO BE SAFE, LET’S STRAP A PAIR OF ROCKETS TO OUR SHOULDERS IDK

-- or wait, is this all supposed to be like a visual representation of En’s metaphor?? OH MY GOD AM I JUST STUPID LOL, DON’T ANSWER THAT. NEVER MIND. NEW LIST!!

rope = blackwhip

jetpack = float

radio = danger sense

and so I’m guessing that this ridiculously phallic thing is supposed to be a flare or something?? and that = the new quirk, smokescreen. well that was a fucking ride lmao we now return you to our regularly scheduled chapter

so now Deku is floating to his heart’s content and thinking that he’ll just sneak up on Muscular and vibe check his ass or whatever

WOOOOOOOO DANGER SENSE YESSSS I LOVE THIS FOR HIM

okay guys, I'm gonna press pause here for a sec to make a serious note, because I am loving the shit out of this, but tbh I'm having trouble enjoying it as much as I want to because I keep getting anxious thinking about the discourse. I know that a lot of the fandom has very strong opinions on Deku's character development one way or the other, and I want to respect that. but I also really have no spoons to debate this topic at all beyond what I’ve already weighed in on. so if it’s all the same to everyone, I plan on staying out of this discussion, at least this week

anyway! that said, YEAH BOI GET HIS ASS

VIBE: CHECKED. CURB: STOMPED. HOTEL: TRIVAGO

-- OF COURSE HE’S STILL FUCKING FINE LOL HE CRASHES INTO BUILDINGS FOR FUN IDK WHAT I WAS EXPECTING

dammit Muscular. how many fucking quirks does it take to beat you?! the annoying thing is that even with all of his cool new powers, Deku is still something of a mismatch against him. anyway r.i.p. to all these poor buildings

OOOOOHHHHH

you guys have no idea how intrigued I am at the prospect of watching Deku try to play both good cop and bad cop here lmao

anyway so Muscular says he doesn’t know, go figure

“I’m not here to make small talk or anything” he says as he small talks about not small talking

OH MY GOD DEKU

are you really gonna talk no jutsu all of these villains from now on?? that last battle really did have a profound impact on you, huh! interesting

you guys he’s really doing it omg

Deku this guy tried to murder a five-year-old literally just for fun. I mean more power to you, but holy shit you’re really gonna try to defeat Muscular with anger management therapy huh

I MEAN

WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT RESPONSE COMING dlkjslkjk

FUCK’S SAKE DEKU, I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL BUT THEY CAN’T ALL HAVE TRAGIC PASTS KIDDO

but. I have to admit, I do still like that he tried. probably knew just as well as we did what the end result was going to be, but still. he made the effort in good faith and I respect that

uh oh

why do I get the feeling Muscular just got a whole lot deader

oh my god oh my god he’s doing the “powering up” stance ffff don’t fucking tell me you can still use your fucking arms here, Deku

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY WHAT’S THIS??

okay so basically he’s saying that whatever it was he sensed in Tomura, he doesn’t sense from Muscular. which, yeah, that sounds exactly right. good judge of character here lol

AHHHHAHAHA YESS

WHOOPS, GET FUCKED I GUESS

WOOOOHOOOOOOOO

lmao so apparently this is the belated result of Shindou’s attack from chapter 307?? I’ll be damned. good for you Shindou!! I always liked you buddy. please just take my word on that and don’t fact check that statement

okay lol the one tiny bit of discourse I will allow is that it’s bullshit that he just did that with his right arm. like, I’ll fully acknowledge that. that makes no fucking sense, and I demand an explanation from the Great Plot Hole Filler himself. he’s never let us down before when it comes to continuity so I’m trusting him not to suddenly start now

that said, we love to see a rematch against a boring guy settled quickly and decisively within the span of a single chapter. THANK YOU

I like that Deku implies that his power is being a smart nerd who battles villains using the power of ANALYTICS. he basically didn’t do anything except restrain Muscular and wait for Shindou’s attack to take effect while halfheartedly checking to see if he regretted any of that murder and stuff

(ETA: and almost forgot to mention, he made excellent use of all four of his active SIXQUIRKS. it’s like the chapter title said; this is basically him fighting all-out, and it’s a sight to see.)

also, as cool as the mask was, this just feels right. like, we had our fun, now let us see his face, yes good

anyway, I think this was a good start towards establishing What’s Up With Deku Right Now! so if it’s all the same to Horikoshi, I would next like to take some time to explore Why’s Up With Deku. that, and What’s Up With Everyone Else, Especially Kacchan. por favor

[captainsimagines]

To Topple A Giant || Chapter Five

Summary: You had made it your mission to destroy even the smallest evils. When the opportunity arises to finally take down your own family after years of gaining their trust, you reach for it. And so does Steve, the man who represents a symbol of everything you hate.

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader

Part 5 of 10 ~ Mini-Series

Warnings: This story contains mature themes and discussions such as extreme canon violence, strong language, emotional angst, mentions of Endgame deaths and recoveries, sexual situations, and emotional/physical abuse. All trigger warnings will be listed before the chapter. This is purely fanfiction.

Warnings in this Chapter: mentions of male masturbation and boners (lol); strong language; references to suicide, murder, and drug smuggling; abusive parental relationship; mentions of child death in a second flashback; dry humping (smut); 18+ only please!

Word Count: 16,500+

A/N: damn that chapter warning list was a trip to write down lmao

~

Westview, 2023, 1:32 pm

     An uncomfortable silence spread throughout the parked vehicle, daring either of you to take the first step. No one commented on the glares boring into your soul as you drove through the town or how heavily the three of you got patted down by the authorities right outside the state line. You figured it was completely justified - still a little insulting to a bunch of Avengers who literally saved the world three weeks ago. 

With a loud gulp, Bucky was the first to kick open his door and get out of the car. You glanced at Steve from the driver’s seat, biting your lip with a slight quiver as you went over the speech you practiced earlier today. Simple enough, and not too damning. 

Steve’s leg bounced rapidly a few more times before he too kicked open his door, leaving you in silence. You pulled the car keys from the ignition and took in a deep breath. Your legs were numb, the anxiety washing over you in uneven cycles. It was now or never. 

“Wanda, it’s us…”

Her grief seemed to emit from every crack in the sidewalk, every weak beg escaping the townspeople’s throats, every sound from the inanimate objects her powers had continued to turn from gray to red… to green… back to gray. She was crouched on the property, weeds brushing against her black pants and leaving their mark, mascara smudged with each new wet streak. 

Bucky unzipped his jacket, eyes wandering over the deserted plot of land as Wanda tried to control her sobs. She had already caused enough damage, both physical and psychological, the possibility of more government involvement looming over your heads. He carefully walked toward her and wrapped his jacket over her shoulders, all be damned as he held her and began to tear up himself.

“Wanda, you’re okay. You’re safe. We’ll get through this,” Steve sighed, still keeping a respectable distance from her in case she were to run. But you knew her better - she was all out of fight. One fight after another and yet she still lost her love. 

“I did something really bad,” she sobbed, eyes locked on the spot where Vision had just disappeared. Again.

“No, you didn’t know what you were doing,” Steve declared, shocked by the unexpected scoff from Bucky. 

“Save it, Steve. She may not have known in the beginning but she does now. She still did it.”

No one dared correct Bucky or argue with that logic because if anyone knew about causing harm with absolutely no intention, it was obviously him. Taking responsibility - that was the best course of action. 

Once you heard of a radioactive disturbance in a small town just outside the state, the team almost retired completely. So soon after defeating Thanos, so soon after Tony’s death, so soon after Natasha’s death - the team left it up to the proper authorities this time around. 

But the second you watched the broadcast of Wanda’s fantasies, the sitcom her powers were conjuring, her giving birth to her children… all you could do was wait until she opened the barrier. 

“I still did it,” Wanda said, her upper body beginning to rock back and forth as her fingertips brightened with red tendrils of magical grief. 

You shut your eyes and willed yourself not to cry. You had done so much crying these past few years and you were oh, so tired. You couldn’t possibly take another beating. 

“Hey, hey. Look at me,” Bucky spoke, gently turning Wanda’s face and placing both his hands on her cheeks, mindful of the metal appendage he had forgotten to cover with his glove. “You already did it. It can’t be undone. But you can come with us and grieve properly.”

Wanda reached up and placed her hands over his, tears spilling from her eyes faster now. 

“Let us help you grieve.”

This wasn’t an unexpected goodbye. Wanda knew that. She had just voluntarily given up her husband and children - anyone would crumble from that sort of devastation. But now she had been given a proper goodbye, a somewhat proper closure, and the chance to accept it. “Okay.”

You and Steve remained frozen in place even after Bucky helped Wanda stand. Almost as quickly as you thought it, your feet had a mind of their own. You stood next to Steve, taking in the weed infested, rectangular plot of land - the remnants of Wanda’s fantasy still fresh and creating a tiny, refreshing tingle in the middle of your chest. You looked over at Steve and smiled sadly when you saw him inspecting the area as well. 

“They would have had a beautiful life together.”

Steve’s breath hitched as you finished your declaration, looking over at you and nodding slightly. 

“If I had the chance, I would have wanted a nice house with some decent air conditioning. Some weird, front yard garden where I could plant random flowers. A dog that dug them up and acted like it didn’t do it.”

You giggled, thumbnail between your incisors to try and disguise the wider grin forming. Steve kept speaking. 

“Maybe a kid or two. Never actually checked if I could even have kids after the serum.”

You dropped your hand from your face, your attention completely on him now. 

Steve sighed and kicked a rock over to the other side of the property. “I would have wanted a giant, king-sized bed. With ‘his’ and ‘hers’ towels. And every once in a while we would accidentally use the other one’s toothbrush, a secret we would take to the grave.”

Steve wasn’t even looking over at you as he said this. It was like a one-sided confession, rhetorical, not needing an immediate response or expression in return. And you couldn’t believe he was just saying this in front of you - you of all people - the same person who rolled their eyes whenever Steve struggled to comprehend a modern topic or argued with him when he was in one of his moods. He had been distant the last few weeks after returning the stones, only ever noticing you when other people were around to carry a conversation. 

The tingles in your chest were starting to disappear as the plot of land gave its last few magical rumbles. 

“Steve?”

Steve bowed his head, hands in his pockets and breath steady. “Yes, they would have been very happy together.”

You stared at the back of his head as he slowly walked back to the car.  

Present Day, 2025, 8:10 am

     The amount of times you reminded yourself to wake up early as you were drifting off to sleep last night was perhaps more than the number of sheep you had ever counted in your life. A quick reminder here and there as your mind got clogged with pointless information, the number eight behind your eyelids all throughout the night. 

And you did it. In the early hours of the morning, knowing Steve would wake naturally in about twenty minutes, you tip-toed out of bed to use the bathroom. Acting completely normal in case he did in fact hear you before your grand plan - an easy escape route if he decided to repeat his horrible morning ritual on you. But he was such an old man, getting older, losing that serum’s boost. This Steve, Steve who refused to call any movie made after 1945 ‘old’ because he literally didn’t get the chance to see them premiere - yeah, this Steve, was passed out like he had been hit by a truck. 

Bladder empty and teeth brushed, you quietly opened the bathroom door and peeked through. He still lay there on his back, wrapped tightly in his blanket, breathing steadily, and face completely unprotected. 

Could you die? Probably. Would this payback be absolutely satisfying? Hell yeah. 

You grabbed the biggest of your pillows and fisted the corner tightly, twisting it a couple times for a better grip. You signed the cross quickly before lifting the pillow above your head and bringing it down to Steve’s face. 

Steve’s eyes snapped open and he immediately sat up, “WHAT?”

His eyes flew around the room rapidly until they landed on you, angry and challenging.

“Payback!” you yelled, lifting the pillow high again for a second hit. But he reacted quicker, grabbing a pillow himself and swinging it toward you. It slammed you in the torso and practically sent you flying. You landed at the edge of your bed, mouth open in shock and racks of laughter bubbling deep within your chest. You stood quickly and hit him repeatedly, trying your best to also block his counterattack. 

He reached for your hip and pulled you in his bed, rolling the two of you over so he was straddling your hips. He brought the pillow down several more times before accepting your plea of surrender. 

You threw the pillow back to your bed and pouted, “Not a fair fight!”

Steve scoffed, “You caught me off guard! You had all the advantages!”

You shuffled beneath him and froze, hips stuck in a lifted position as you were too embarrassed to move them back down. “Jesus, Steve! How do you even sleep on your stomach with that thing?”

Steve furrowed his eyebrows as he inspected your face and body, looking down at the two of you before he noticed the way he was pressing into your inner thigh. He scrambled off you, a blush spreading from his cheeks and all the way down his chest. He cupped himself and turned away, quickly shuffling for his suitcase and pulling whatever clothes his flustered hands grabbed. He was also repeatedly apologizing. 

“Steve, it’s okay. It just… startled me, is all.”

Steve cleared his throat a couple times before pacing around the room in search of his toiletries. 

You just sat back on your elbows, watching him scurry like a chicken with its head cut off. It was rather amusing. 

“I’m gonna - gonna, take a shower. Uh, I’m sorry again.”

You smirked at the super soldier, “Steve, I’m not mad. It isn’t like I’m new to that kind of thing.”

Steve blushed harder, “But I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

You shrugged your shoulders and dipped lower into his sheets, grabbing and lifting them higher. You snuggled deeper, “Still.”

Steve could feel the speed at which the world rotated and he shut the bathroom door behind him. He leaned against it, breathing deeply until he had all his inhibitions back. 

He didn’t know what was more embarrassing - reacting the way he did or you seeing him react the way he did. It wasn’t like the two of you hadn’t seen each other in awkward situations, some borderline lewd. There were plenty of missions that involved heavy flirting with the targets, undercover work in depraved settings, missions where nasty magic was involved and concocted a multitude of inappropriate visions. Hell, everyone had already seen each other naked. It was completely normal, a trustworthy environment, and sometimes necessary. 

As much as he wanted to give into the feeling and award himself some proper alone time, he refused to act upon it. He would regret it later once the stress pushed down harder than usual, but it just wasn’t appropriate in his right mind to masturbate with you in the other room. 

Why did he have to be such a good and honorable man?

He busied himself with washing his hair and scrubbing away any evidence of sleep from his face. Steve liked sleeping on his stomach, face smooshed in the pillows and arms extended to his sides. It allowed for more comfortable movement, more ways to stretch his hips, just overall comfort for his massive shoulders. Less pressure on the lungs, too. And unlike the enthusiastic yet almost mean accusation that he couldn’t possibly enjoy that position because of his… well, his dick, Steve would choose that position over sleeping on his back any day. But that morning, his body had decided to betray him in more ways than one. One, he was open to attack because he was on his back. And two, whatever dream he was having caused his morning wood to seem larger this morning.

He had washed up quickly, more time spent out of the shower where he fixed his hair and combed his beard. He thought about shaving it for the rehearsal dinner or wedding, but it gave him a more rugged look - like he was all tough and no funny business. As ridiculous as it sounded, the beard allowed him to lean into the criminal act easier, build a fake personality that already had your father eating out of his hand. 

Opening the bathroom door and having to face the music, Steve was almost certain you would continue to tease him. But you were already munching on the breakfast you had ordered, shoveling hash browns in your mouth as you swiped the mouse through pages and pages of intel. You didn’t even look up as he crossed the room to grab a pair of pants he had forgotten to pick up during his quick escape. That settled his nerves almost instantly and he was dressed and settled next to you soon after.

You worked in silent cooperation for a long while, handing each other files and passing phone calls like you had during every other mission before. Except now it was more comfortable, pleasant, and kind - the soft sounds from the television in the corner, the humming of the desktop, the soft hums of recognition whenever you two showed each other something. You didn’t even bother with what happened in the morning, if it really was anything at all, because you honestly found it normal. You were more focused on the conversation you had last night. 

Steve had offered to kill your father if you seriously couldn’t. Just thinking about his offer caused your stomach to turn. Because yes, you wanted him dead. You wanted to snap his neck in ten different places and feed him to scavengers. You wanted to steal his business from under him and tear it apart, bit by bit, and keep him alive long enough to see you do it. You wanted to see the look in his eyes when you revealed that you double-crossed him. And as the day inched closer, the overwhelming feeling of shame pushed down on your shoulders and swallowed your mind. Once your father was dead, you and Steve would never find true peace. His men would always follow you, probably take you down at the local coffee shop you and Peter frequented. 

The thought of dying in front of Peter caused a lump to form in your throat. No, you wouldn’t do that to your friends. You couldn’t do this to Steve. 

But you had to. Because even though your life will never be yours after this mission, you had to save the countless others your father was sure to touch and ruin. 

But was your life ever truly yours?

Steve’s voice pulled you from your clouded mind. 

“Huh?” 

“I asked if you wanted the last piece of fruit.” 

You looked at Steve then at the small piece of watermelon in the bowl, then back at Steve. He had a pen in between his teeth, one eyebrow cocked, and slightly puffy eyes due to the beer heavy sleep he had last night. You looked away as quickly as you could and stared back at the fruit, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. 

Ridiculous, you thought. Just looking at Steve had flustered you, squeezing your stomach in pleasurable pulses you hadn’t felt since high school. “No, no. You can have it,” you said, hoping your voice wouldn’t crack. 

Ridiculous. 

Steve watched you with a funny smile but he took your word and scooped up the last piece for himself. 

No, you thought again, this man will not give me freaking butterflies. 

It wasn’t like it was odd. Steve had you flustered countless times before, but it was never quite as tingly as it was now. You suddenly wanted to facetime Wanda and rant about these weird feelings; you wanted to curl in on yourself and squeal; you wanted to -

    “He’s what?”

You sat on your knees and leaned over the back of the couch, chin resting on your folded arms as you watched Steve pace around the common room. He was tugging at his dress shirt repeatedly, desperately trying to attach cufflinks without additional help. Sam sat right beside you, in the same position, snickering each time Steve cursed under his breath. 

“He’s nervous,” Bucky smirked, arm holding out Steve’s tie for the past five minutes. Steve had paced beside him various times already, completely oblivious. 

Steve groaned and readjusted his collar, snapping his head toward the three of you. “I’m not nervous.”

“You’re sweating buckets, man,” Sam pointed out, one of his hands discreetly opening up his camera and switching to video. 

“What if she doesn’t like me?” 

Bucky threw his head back and cackled, choosing to grab Steve and steady him to finally put that damn tie around his neck. “Same old, Steve. Can’t accept that a dame would ever possibly like you back.”

“Hey, Steve don’t worry about it,” you started, shooting Steve a sympathetic look. Steve glanced back at you, expression swiftly changing due to your kind tone. “... when I was in high school,-”

Steve released a loud grunt, rolling his eyes and stepping away from Bucky’s hands. 

Sam rolled over and clutched his stomach as he laughed, pulling you into him. The two of you shook from your laughs together. 

“Guys,” Bucky warned, reaching for Steve in a ‘grabby’ motion. “Give him a break.”

Steve reluctantly stood beside Bucky again, head tilted upward as he tried wrapping the tie back around his neck. 

None of you heard the entrance of Thor and his brother, too busy with bullying, laughter, or moderating. 

“Did we miss all the fun?”

You shot up from the ground, kicking Sam away as you rushed across the floor and stumbled over the rug. “Thor!”

You rushed into his arms and he gripped you tightly, swinging you around and loud laughter matching yours. 

“Now, why wasn’t I greeted in a similar manner?” Loki questioned, crossing his arms over his chest. 

You pulled your face from Thor’s shoulder, “Oh, you want this too?”

You jumped back onto the floor and were about to jump into Loki’s arms, but he held his own out, stopping you. “It’s too late. It’s not the same.”

“Piss baby,” you quipped, rushing behind Thor for protection when Loki’s mouth dropped in surprise. 

“Can everyone stop what they’re doing real quick and tell Steve his date is going to go well tonight?”

You rolled your eyes at Bucky’s favor, but he just raised his eyebrows, challenging you to disobey the order. 

“The Captain has a date? Are they okay?”

Loki and you shared a comical gasp. 

Steve gaped, “Now, what in the world does that mean, Thor?”

Thor raised his hands in defense, “I’m just asking if she truly knows what she’s getting herself into! Don’t try and tell me she has no idea who you are.”

Steve was back to groaning nonstop. Bucky threw his hands up in the air, “I ask one thing of you guys. One thing.”

You stomped over to Steve and ripped the half-tied tie from his neck and smoothed down his collar. You patted down his shoulders and the front of his shirt, and gripped his shoulders to straighten his back. 

“Now,” you smiled up at him. The breath caught in your throat for a second, the blue of his eyes shining under the ceiling lights and the pink of his cheeks spreading slowly. You let out a tiny sigh, heart fluttering faintly from the small grin he was giving you. He looked so innocent, a renaissance subject created from light oils, signs of true aging showing in his forehead. “Whatever date you got planned, she’s gonna love it.”

Steve relished in the feeling of your palms pressed against his chest for a few moments before he nodded at your declaration. He stepped back and smoothed down his shirt. “Wish me luck?”

A chorus of ‘good luck’s sounded as Steve found his keys and shared a goodnight hug with Sam and Bucky. They both jokingly reminded him to use protection. 

You watched Steve leave, a newfound bounce in his step as he walked away. Your words had been so simple, so cliche, and yet he had dropped any visible nerves as he walked out the door. You weren’t the best motivational speaker, that was for sure, but the proof of at least an ounce of motivation was there. Maybe your words held a hidden meaning. Maybe.

You thought about him picking up this random woman, wine and dining her, kissing her cheek as he said his goodbyes at the end of the night. It was somewhat adorable to think about, but also weird.

Before you could dive more into the strange feeling, Thor’s voice sounded. 

“Should we order pizza or chinese?”

It’s like that snapped you from your trance, because next thing you knew you were back to your playful self, sprinting across the room and into Loki’s arms. 

     You cherished the slight, pleasant churn of your stomach as you watched him happily munch on the fruit. 

Okay, it was normal to have a tiny crush on your mission partner. God knows how many times you wanted to jump Thor’s bones whenever you were undercover together. A crush was normal, completely natural and expected. 

Except you had never gotten so much sane joy from a simple question of whether you wanted the last piece of fruit. 

You blinked a few times and shook off any trace of overthinking devils, grabbing at random files to occupy your mind for a while. After about fifteen more minutes of comfortable silence, you spoke.

“So, we think Ramirez is gonna get straight up murdered?”

Steve snorted, filing through a pile of papers Torres had delivered this morning. “I wouldn’t put it like that, but sure.”

“But it’s just a theory at this point. We can’t just go in guns blazing without enough proof.”

“And if there is proof? Do we protect him? The original mission was to arrest all four men.”

You groaned, “I don’t know. He’s never done me wrong.”

“Personal feelings aside, Y/N.”

“Ugh, fine. But I’m not gonna be happy about it.”

Steve squinted at you with a playful smile. “You’d rather just arrest the bad ones, huh?”

“Obviously what Ramirez is doing is illegal and it’s horrific to think of what might be happening behind the scenes on his side, but either he’s serious or he’s been putting on this good guy act for his whole life.”

“Leaning towards the first option?”

Shrugging, you leaned toward your computer screen and scrolled through the massive list of emails. “It’s what my gut tells me, but ehh.”

There was one random email from Maribel, but random only meant coded. Reading it over a couple times, humming to yourself in concentration, you finally cracked the code she was trying to send. 

“Maribel says Ramirez acquired some land in Mexico… lots of it.”

Steve looked up from the files, “Any significance?”

“It’s probably for growing the products.”

Steve quickly typed key words that would alert him of any new transactions in the past few months.  “Who’s on the title?”

“Just him. And his oldest daughter. My father must know, right?”

Steve leaned back in his chair, releasing a heavy sigh as he thought about what this could mean. “Ramirez acquiring more land means more of Ramirez’s product. A three-way partnership would be split unevenly if he utilizes the land.”

“Make sure Bucky alerts us of any business my father might have with realtors authorized to work in that area.”

It functioned like this for another hour, the two of you sharing bits of information every ten minutes or so. 

“Torres sent us an update on White.”

You rubbed at your strained eyes, “What does he say?”

Steve’s eyebrows raised, “That he’s been in the country for much longer than his passport says.”

You stood from your seat and rushed to look at the same screen Steve was reading from. “He traveling under a fake name?”

“Customs says he returned to Germany,” Steve stated, highlighting a paragraph on the screen for you to easily read. “Four weeks ago.”

It was your turn to snort out a laugh, “Oh, he’s so setting up an alibi.”

Steve nodded in agreement, “Looks like it.”

You slapped his shoulder lightly, voice raising an octave. “Look at us! Piecing together the puzzle!”

“We still got a few more pieces to attach before you go getting all cocky.”

You chuckled and decided to take a break. You speed walked over to your bed and plopped down, the mountain of pillows already relieving your tense muscles. “Hey, has my sister’s plane landed yet?”

Steve glanced at you quickly before pulling up Bucky’s morning emails. “Uh, landed about an hour ago.”

“She at the estate?”

He shrugged, “Torres hasn’t sent an update. Just her profile, hold up.”

You waved him off, a nonverbal way of telling him you seriously couldn’t care less. “I haven’t spoken to her since I joined you guys. You don’t gotta give me her origin story.”

“That long?” Steve questioned. 

You placed a pillow beneath your head, body horizontal and facing Steve. “We were never that close. I’ve got tons of half-siblings. Most of them were adults when I was born, anyway.”

With just a few words exchanged, Steve realized he had just stepped through your metaphorical door of reminiscing. So he stood to lay in his own bed, the simple action of giving you attention enough to keep you talking, he hoped. “Were you alone a lot? Growing up, I mean.”

You watched as Steve also placed a pillow beneath his head, “There were always kids around. Kids of the maids, cousins, neighbors.”

“A full house, sounds like.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, a small smile forming as you thought about old friends. “I remember this one time, we all ran into Ramirez when we were trying to get to one of the playrooms. But he grabbed me quickly and told me to not go in there.”

“Was it a threat?”

You grinned at his protective tone, “No, it was a warning. There were some really bad men in the other room. It was me and a few other girls. He told us to run back to my room and lock the door until he came to get us.”

Steve couldn’t come up with a reasonable explanation as to why Ramirez joined the drug game. Sure, the function and presence of cartels had changed drastically over the last forty years, but it didn’t explain why he remained involved. In the eighties, the drug game was highly televised and spoken about, but the cartel violence was not as strong. Nowadays, and not even you could give a proper explanation, the violence was astronomical and basically advertised as something to expect when visiting certain countries. This was the mob game now, freaking Al Capone or the goddamn Godfather, absolutely meant to frighten whoever dare join or leave. For Ramirez to still be one of the big players even with that many internal changes, to be a good person in the middle of such hell, didn’t make any sense. 

“He protected you.”

You clutched the pillow closer to your chest, the memory a good one even if it was weird. “Oh, yeah. Those guys he was warning us about were no angels.”

Steve gave an awkward smile, “I feel like I know more about your childhood than you know mine.”

“I’m all ears if you wanna tell me about little, asthmatic Steve Rogers.”

He raised his index finger at you, “Hey, I was more than just my asthma.”

“Oh, excuse me. I totally forgot about your scoliosis.” 

The pillow under his head was now flying across the small distance to your face. You shrieked and sent it back. 

“Stop bullying!” Steve laughed.

You shielded your face in case he decided to continue the pillow war. “What? I’ve got my health problems, too! I just don’t have the serum to help me out.”

But he didn’t throw it again. He repositioned himself on his back and placed both hands beneath his head, gracing the ceiling with a grin. “I remember this one time, Bucky and I were around eleven-years old, and I had this really bad asthma attack. Bucky just freaked out. I was choking and he was just holding me, screaming for help -”

You blinked, “This is really depressing, what are you-”

“-and! Bucky threw himself into a full-blown panic attack. So we were both choking on air, but I was starting to laugh at him freaking out, which only made him choke harder. We ended up throwing up.”

You were silent at the end of his short story, mouth open in a wide smile. “I don’t know what else to say other than that was one of the greatest stories I’ve ever heard.”

Steve rolled over, a literal twinkle in his eye. “See? Don’t interrupt me before I get to the good parts.”

This simple moment catapulted the realization that Steve hasn’t spoken to you this much in two years, to the front of your mind. In these past four days, you had spoken like you had never stopped, like it was never awkward, like you two seriously didn’t need another person in the room to simply converse about what you wanted for breakfast. Yet here you were, more words exchanged in the past four days than you ever thought possible. 

After the fallout, you didn’t say one full sentence to him for seven months. Seven months. He hadn’t attempted a conversation with you either, but you actively avoided him like he was infected. Hell, he even moved out of the compound and into his own apartment to get away from you for most of the day. After your forced reconciliation, the awkward apologies, you still didn’t force any open conversation. But it was easier, lighter, and most conversations involved mission information. 

Talking this much now was so easy, so simple, like you didn’t need to force the comfort - there was already full comfort, a sense of community with this man. 

He was so different from when he insulted you while you were packing, annoyed by the fact that you pried too much. And now you were prying into his childhood and him yours without a lick of annoyance on either side. 

“We both had eventful childhoods, didn’t we?”

“What, with both of us in the middle of a war?” Steve asked, a genuine look on his face.

“Guess our wars never really left us, huh?”

There was a knock at the door. You weren’t expecting Torres again today. Steve muttered ‘room service, maybe’ under his breath as you went to open it. You were startled to find Scott standing outside, two massive suitcases in his hand. 

“Oh my god, I forgot you were arriving today!”

Scott scoffed, “Am I not as important as your other friends?”

You laughed and helped him inside, “Stop! You’re one of my favorite bugs!”

“Ha ha. Very funny. I’ll leave right now if you two decide to pile on me instead of each other.” Scott placed one of the suitcases near the door but the other at the edge of your bed. 

“We’ll be nice,” Steve promised, standing to greet Scott with a hug. 

“You better. Catch me up, please?” 

The suitcase contained your outfits for the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. Whoever was in charge of costumes definitely went all out, hoping their work would make the big fight the most fashionable. Steve was given a perfectly tailored suit, navy blue and velvet. It was lined with vibranium, inside pockets covered with it. That would certainly be handy if you were forced to walk through metal detectors - vibranium couldn’t be detected. His suit for the rehearsal dinner was a lot simpler, the custom black and white aesthetic, but still protected with vibranium. 

Your clothes were certainly not styled to match Steve’s, giving you a sense of individuality. It was perfect really - it would allow you to leave Steve’s side, if necessary, when the mission called for you to split up. Your rehearsal dinner outfit was two parts: a black, velvet long-sleeved shirt, slight turtleneck, and gold cuffs. It was joined by a long gold skirt, high-waisted, the front shorter than the back and sides more curled than ruffled. You would have to wear tights underneath, but it was beautiful. Vibranium was also stitched in for added protection. Your dress for the actual wedding, however, was a total knockout. Red, spaghetti strap, tight on top but loose once it reached your hips, a long slit on the left side. They were even kind enough to give you a pair of heels to match. 

Yeah, Steve was Captain America and his appearance will shock the guests, but your attire will definitely be the second topic in gossip. 

Scott was filing through the same papers you and Steve had reviewed earlier, a bowl of potato chips at his side. And it was peaceful - you and Steve even had the chance to nap. 

“So, you’re gonna see Jackeline at the rehearsal dinner?”

You wiped the remnants of your nap from your face and groaned as you stretched, “She’ll probably be busy tomorrow when we go for breakfast, so yeah.”

Scott shifted uncomfortably in his seat, eyes practically attached to the computer screen. “And… she’s the one getting married?”

His tone started to worry Steve, “Yes, Scott. You good?”

Scott piled a handful of potato chips in his mouth, finger clicking the mouse every few seconds. His eyes were now wide, blinks forgotten. “Jackeline Vega. Jackeline.”

Steve ignored him now, “Hey, why isn’t your last name Vega?”

As much as you wanted to share about how and why you changed your last name, Scott’s demeanor interested you more. “Changed it when I became an American citizen - Scott, what’s up?”

He let out a tiny squeak, swallowing his snack quickly. “And she’s your father’s favorite?”

You rolled your eyes, “Mmm.”

Scott released a huge huff of air, shoulders falling as he raised his voice and turned the monitor to face you. “Think he knows anything about this?”

The photograph was blurry because it was enhanced, but you could still make out the face of a sister you hadn’t seen in years. Older, still with teenage features obviously, and tossed on what looked like a church alter-

Steve's eyes widened, “Is she…?”

Scott finished his sentence for him, “Fucking a priest?”

You covered your mouth in shock, “Oh my god, she’s fucking a priest!”

Bent on the literal church altar, skirt bunched around her hips, head thrown back in ecstasy and face in full view. And the damned priest, in between her legs and under the eyes of god. 

“That’s why I asked!”

Steve clutched at his chest, head thrown back as he howled, “I think you were wrong about your sister.”

Now your eyes were glued to the screen, “Oh, I was fuck all from correct!”

Scott cleared his throat, “Is the priest… her fiance?”

Steve came down from his laugh attack, “I highly doubt that, Scott.”

“This is actually really damning evidence.”

You grinned at Scott, “For what? Painting her out to look like the most sinful whore? I might just congratulate her.”

Steve stared at you, judging almost. “For fucking a priest?”

“For proving me wrong. She’s not so innocent after all,” you responded, cheeks strained from how wide you were smiling. 

“Clearly. This is… actually badass,” Scott admitted, turning the monitor back to him.

You teased, singing your next words. “Don’t let the Lord and Savior hear that.”

Steve glared, “Y/N.”

You leaned away from him, “What? Anyway, that’s gotta be one the worst sins to commit, right?”

Steve’s expression contorted from annoyance to disbelief. “We’ve literally killed people.”

“Pfft, but we’re not fucking priests. Right?”

Scott answered, nodding quicker than he needed to. “Right.”

“You’re literally asking that?”

You pressed your lips into a fine line and tilted your head at Steve. “Steve?”

He glared at you for a long moment before slowly shaking his head. “I’m not fucking any priests.”

Your response was immediate, “Alright! I gotta hand it to her, though. Who took the photo?”

Scott went back to fishing through the emails. “Some sleazy magazine that never got around to actually printing these out.”

“Someone paid them off. Or killed them.”

“I wonder who,” you replied sarcastically. 

Steve continued, “You honestly think he would support her doing that?”

You shrugged and scurried back over to your unmade bed. “Not my problem.”

Scott interjected, “Okay, okay. How’s tomorrow gonna work?”

Steve answered first, “Well, we’re driving out around eight.”

You hummed in agreement, reaching over to unplug your phone from the charger. “Scott, you’ll just ride on one of our backs as we walk through the estate.”

“I kind of want to ride Y/N’s back this time.”

You snorted, “Now that doesn’t sound sexual at all.”

He hid his face in his hands, “You know, I heard it once I said it.”

“Course you did.”

Steve jumped back into the conversation, Scott’s embarrassment seeming to grow under the weird tension. “Then you’ll hop off and plant the bugs wherever you feel like they’re needed.”

“Easy peasy!” you cheered. 

“Bucky and Sam gonna meet us Friday night?”

Steve nodded, “That’s what they said.” He looked over at you, scrolling through your phone and already smiling at something you found funny. He cleared his throat to get your attention. “You know they can be out here in under an hour if we seriously need them.”

You glanced over at Steve, his sincerity greatly appreciated. “I know. But all my faith is in Scott here.”

Scott moaned quietly, “Oh… no, let’s not put all the faith in me because I can’t handle that responsibility.”

You propped yourself up onto your elbows, “You saying I can’t trust you?”

“No, no! That’s not what I’m saying at all-!”

Steve rolled his eyes and looked at the man, a sheen of nervous sweat starting to form on his forehead. “Scott.” 

Scott lowered his hands from his chest, “O-oh. She’s messing with me, huh?”

You chuckled and laid back down. “You’re so easy.”

The easygoing atmosphere for the next few hours almost had you believing you were on vacation, away from the bad guys and space aliens for just a moment. Almost like you weren’t in the middle of a drug war, a mob business, the literal daughter of a king. Scott had that effect, his personality such a sweet refresher and such a contrast to every soul in the compound. 

Thor and Peter were also sweethearts and fun was always expected when they were around, but Scott had this different vibe. Maybe it was because he was relatively new, or that he had a child, or that he hadn’t suffered the same five years as everyone else did. Like he wasn’t yet tainted.  

“You guys mind if I run a job inside a job?”

Your head snapped up at Scott’s crazy question, “You stealing something?”

To run a job inside a job was risky. There was no exact plan to keep both missions balanced, to somehow rank the other more important. You prayed it wasn’t something insane. 

Scott chuckled under his breath, already grabbing his jacket and suitcase by the door. “No, I’m not stealing something. Hank needs me to speak to some guy he’s doing negotiations with about a space for a new lab headquarters.”

Steve tilted his head, “In Northern California?”

“Nah, the dude is vacationing out here for the time being. The lab will be in San Francisco again.”

You squinted at him, still cautious. “Where you meeting him?”

“Some nice Italian restaurant an hour out.”

Steve spoke before you did, similar thoughts running through his mind. “You check with Torres? We don’t know who might randomly show up there.”

Scott tried his best to reassure you, “Yeah, he said they’re following every car that leaves the premises and travels more than thirty minutes away. None of Ernesto’s men have been spotted further up north.”

You sighed. You didn’t want another member of your team to venture out in this area, let alone this goddamn state, without your eyes on them. You were protective, the proximity of your outside world with the one you had spent ten years building too suffocating of a reality. 

Still, you told Scott goodbye with a steady voice. “Then enjoy your dinner, Scott.”

His voice picked up again, that childish and upbeat feeling wrapping you around his finger. “You guys wanna come with? I’m sure you’re sick of icky hotel food.”

Steve waved him off, “It’s actually not that bad-”

“Breadsticks. Garlic pasta. More breadsticks.”

You laughed, “That sounds nice, Scott but we can stay here-”

“Three-cheese pastas.”

“Scott, you can try all you want but-”

“Unlimited breadsticks.”

You shared a look at Steve, puckering your lips at the suggestion. 

“.... We’ll sit far away from your table, okay?”

Scott opened the hotel door and started sprinting down the hallway. “I knew I could persuade you with that! C’mon!”

     California at night was a death trap. Potholes on every stretch of asphalt, construction halted for who knows how long, random opossums lingering in the shadows just waiting to get hit by tires. It was prettier during the day - less of a ‘lead me into this forest, yes, kill me’ vibe. 

You chilled in the backseat while Scott drove you guys to the restaurant. You had texted Bucky where you were planning to go, the message activating the group text chain. 

Peter: it’s Wednesday! Who died?

Wanda: she’s literally texting us

Peter: Y/N, you won???

Bucky: fuck do I owe the fucking spider money?

Peter: pay up dude

Y/N: tf Bucky? You bet against me?

      “You sure you two are good?”

The restaurant looked quiet considering it was a Wednesday night, but it was still crowded. There was a short line extending out the door and a… bouncer. You sucked in a breath and smacked Scott in the chest once you were out of the car. 

“Thought you said this was a restaurant?”

Scott rubbed his chest, a look of disbelief spreading across his face. “Restaurant slash bar!”

“We eating with the Italian mob now? I can only handle one mob at a time, Scott.”

You nodded rapidly, pointing at Steve. “I agree with him!”

“Not every place has bad guys!”

You groaned and reluctantly stood at the back of line, pulling Steve’s hat lower on his forehead. It wasn’t like people couldn’t take one long, hard look at him and not know who he was, anyway. 

“Can you guys just… enjoy a night out?”

“While on a mission?”

“While living your long lives. God, Y/N, you getting old already?”

Your mouth dropped, “I’m twenty-six and I’m not complaining about a nice dinner, Scott.” You pointed at the bouncer. “I’m worried about the fact that our ID’s are gonna be checked.”

Scott’s mouth formed an ‘O’. “Yeah, that.”

“Next.”

You shot Steve a worried look but handed the bouncer your driver’s license. He just looked at the date of birth and moved you along. “Next.”

Scott handed him his, doing his best to smile proudly while the bouncer scanned him up and down. “Next.”

“See? Wasn’t so hard,” Scott joked, standing next to you in the far corner of the entrance. 

You rolled your eyes, “Wait.”

The bouncer took one look at Steve’s ID and gasped. Steve looked anywhere but the bouncer’s eyes, his bottom lip suffering the abuse of his incisors. 

“Cap-Captain?”

Steve gave a sheepish grin, lowering his cap further. “Uh, yeah.”

“Enjoying your day?”

You pinched your nose. 

“Would like it a lot more if you could lead us to a table with as much privacy as you can offer.”

You had to hand it to Steve for taking advantage of situations like this. 

The bouncer agreed immediately, speaking with the manager and promising discretion. The manager said it was no problem, that it was the least he could do for you guys after you brought his son back to him after those rough five years. 

The restaurant offered a somewhat real Italian setting, awarding their guests with as much real scenery and architecture it could. You could only compare it to the Venetian in Vegas as you had never actually been to Italy, but the live band and garlic smell was enough to transport you. 

The lights were low, older couples enjoying the food and wine, and there was a small bar near the back of the restaurant. It wasn’t really a place for some shady business, but years of experience let you know that wasn’t always the case. It was second nature to eye women reaching into their purses, only to pull out a pack of gum. Second nature to wince at the sound of a loud laugh cutting through the quiet atmosphere. 

As promised, you were led to a more private area of the restaurant, closer to the bar than to the band. 

“Go run the job, Scott. We’ll just be enjoying our unlimited breadsticks,” you said, letting out a heavy and relaxed sigh as you settled into the private booth. 

“That hat isn't really hiding those broad shoulders, Cap,” Scott laughed, slapping Steve on the back.

Steve slid into the same booth, ignoring the completely empty seat across from you. “Thanks, Scott. I’m aware.”

You tried to hide your blush as you squeezed deeper in your seat. Scott noticed though, side eyeing Steve who was none the wiser. “You know, I told him that he should have used those facial changing things SHIELD used to have.”

Steve grabbed the offered utensils and started unwrapping them from their napkins. 

“What are we if not superheroes who think a baseball cap and glasses hide our identities?” you teased, shooting Scott a quick wink. 

Steve answered almost triumphantly, “Uh, Superman?”

You giggled and grabbed the napkin he had unwrapped for you. “I’d argue Thor is more like Superman, but okay.”

“How am I not more like Superman? What-”

“Uh, guys? I see the dude so I’m gonna go. You two enjoy your meal,” Scott interrupted, running off to a booth located toward the middle of the restaurant. 

You sat for a few awkward moments before you squinted and looked at Steve, who was sitting to your left and way too close. “Are we annoying?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, like,” you spoke with your hands, “you and I bicker a lot because we love to annoy each other but you think it gets on other people’s nerves?”

Steve chuckled, rubbing his shoulder with yours. “Do you really care if it does?”

That blush of yours was starting to feel warmer. “No, just wondering if you felt that way.”

He shrugged, “I quite like our relationship.”

“Oh,” you smiled, looking down at your lap.  “I quite liked it more a few years back but you know.” 

He immediately tensed, body leaning away from you as if you were burning him. You shut your eyes and shook your head. “Sorry, that was low.”

He sighed deeply, “No, I deserve it. I’ll always deserve it.”

You took a risk and reached for his hand, squeezing gently. The kind gesture seemed to calm him, and he looked back at you. “I still shouldn’t have said it.”

He accepted that, and handed you the menu. 

The hotel food was grand, it did its job of filling you up and providing the necessary nutrients, but there was just something about the carbs in pasta and bread. It ignited the food critic inside you, because now you were cursing the hotel chef and dreading having to order breakfast in the morning. No, dinner. You were having breakfast with your father tomorrow. 

Scott was busy conducting his own business, bluetooth turned off but still glancing over his shoulder once in a while to check on you guys. Each time he did, he felt butterflies flutter in his breadstick-filled stomach. It was the first time he had seen the two of you so carefree, let alone with each other, and it was the most refreshing thing in the world. 

Steve was in the middle of telling another childhood story, his main plate already finished and practically licked clean. But the unlimited breadsticks were coming out by the pound, a new stick in each of your hands every five minutes. 

“I swear, she loved Bucky more than me!”

You covered your mouth and chewed, careful to not let anything through because of your giggle fit. “Steve! Your mother did not!”

Steve wiped at his under eye, clutching his chest as he continued explaining. “Bucky was always around and my mom would just linger every second she wasn’t working!”

“Bet she loved him.”

“See?”

“No, I mean she must have loved him like her own! Bucky was your best friend, your only friend. She probably thought of him like an angel sent from God!” you clarified. 

Steve smiled wider at your cheesy explanation. They were happy memories, joyful ones that he would often think about while writing or drawing. 

He continued with a soft confession. “I really wish I could see her again.”

You leaned your temple on your palm, “From everything you’ve shared with me, she sounds lovely.”

“She would have loved you.” The blush was back, and so was Steve’s, almost like those words were supposed to be kept in the back of his head. He cleared his throat. “God, she was so destroyed when Bucky first got his orders.”

“Was Bucky scared?”

“Scared? Absolutely fucking terrified. We talked about running away and changing our names so he didn’t have to go.”

The draft was such a horrible practice. The fact that men still had to enlist and hope no ‘necessary’ war was upon them. It was quite reassuring to know most of those men wouldn’t have to see battle today, they were given a choice, and there were agencies that managed people who could, like the Avengers. 

“Steve…”

Steve just hummed softly, “Life in the forties, am I right?

Your voice also got quieter. “Why didn’t you run away?”

Steve huffed out a laugh, swallowing the last of his bread. “We tried. Got all the way to the edge of town before Bucky’s dad wrung us both back to kick our asses.”

Almost out of instinct, you gripped his hand again. You rubbed soothing circles into his knuckles, knuckles that hadn’t seen hand-to-hand combat in so long. There wasn’t much danger in the world nowadays, just small missions here and there. It wasn’t like the team was itching for another alien invasion. But these periods of well needed rest were odd, periods where bruises completely healed up and little pockets of weight were gained. Steve’s knuckles were soft, only having seen the ends of paintbrushes for a long while. 

 “...Where’s your mother?”

His voice snapped you from your thoughts, and you had to repeat the question in your own head a couple times. 

“It’s not a happy story.”

There wasn’t much of a story anyway. 

“But is it a story you need to get off your chest?”

Steve didn’t want to push too hard. The long pause in your relationship definitely didn’t soften this blow, and it only added to the strings of resistance. If you decided not to tell Steve about this, Steve would have to accept it. If anything, this was one of the toughest questions to ask someone when all you’ve been doing is ignoring them for two years. 

“Not really much to get rid of.”

He nodded, only a slight hint of disappointment laced within his words. “You don’t have to tell me.”

Natasha was the only one with any knowledge of your mom. There was never an actual moment in which you freely spoke of her - inserting her likeness, her person, back into some alternate and fucked-up reality - you kept her legacy dead. It was obvious she hadn’t enjoyed this part of her life, no doubt it absolutely killed her to leave you trapped in it, so keeping her dead, even in conversation, was a favor. 

But one drunken night and you were showing Natasha the one photo you had of her, stuffed deep in your wallet and crinkled beyond repair. Her black hair to her shoulders, lip liner a darker shade than her lipstick, hands intertwined behind her back as she arched forward in a playful tilt, shooting the camera a smile that was stuck around the word she was saying as the candid was taken. There was no recorded voice but you had a record of her movement, frozen in time.     

Steve’s sincerity grasped you by the literal roots of your hair, because next thing you knew you were spilling the first thought you had. 

“She was twenty-three. Working as a real estate agent, very beautiful, and she was engaged. To an American.”

Steve chuckled around his champagne glass, “Was that bad?”

You grinned at that, like he was already fully and deeply invested in your story. “Not necessarily. But everyone knew she was taken.”

“And your father?”

“He wanted to buy some houses. Saw her, wanted her, tried persuading her into going on a date. Nothing really worked, she didn’t accept his money or gifts.”

Steve fumbled over his next words. “Did she eventually?”

“No, but her brother did. My father didn’t know it was her brother, so he thought she was accepting them. Got mad when she still refused his advances.”

He was digesting this little by little. Steve had heard horror stories of girls he grew up with, forced to marry at a young age when they were caught in a passionate moment with a man, or when they ended up pregnant. Bucky and his mother had always instructed him to treat women with respect, to never intentionally or accidentally ruin their reputation, to protect and use his voice to stand up for them. And although women weren’t getting frisky with him when he was all but ninety pounds at the ripe age of twenty, that didn’t stop Steve from exchanging a few words and punches with men who had no right.  “How did they end up together?”

You shrugged, reaching over for another breadstick. “No one knows. He invited her to a party one day and she didn’t come back for a whole week. Next thing her family knows she’s engaged to my father and no longer with the love of her life.”

“That’s awful.”

“Yeah, her family had no choice but to accept that. Her poor fiance, though.” 

“Where is he now?”

Steve had this weird hope that the fiance may still be alive somewhere, waiting for your mother to find him. But that was just the hopeless romantic emerging. 

You sighed deeply, “My father told my mother he killed him. My mother believed him.”

“So, he’s still alive? He didn’t hurt him?”

“Apparently he’s still kicking, yeah. But my mom became severely depressed from that lie.”

The restaurant felt colder and the air became thinner. Steve didn’t want his next thought to be true. “She didn’t...?”

You shook your head quickly, “No, she found out he was alive.” Even if you weren’t witness to it, you could still imagine your mother charting the areas she would have to run and swim through to get away. Wasn’t like it was a heartfelt thought, but the mere fact that she had that much determination to risk her life for love, it was somewhat therapeutic to think about. Like it was genuinely satisfying to imagine her defying your father. Still, your face drooped as you gave Steve the sad conclusion. “She didn’t even make it across the border before he had her killed for betraying him.”

His face fell in time with yours, “Fuck.”

“She left me with Maribel’s mother. But my father found me and told me she had an accident. Didn’t find out the truth until I was thirteen.”

“I’m so sorry.”

You shoved his shoulder with yours, a light chuckle cutting through the sad moment. “Not like you had a hand in this, Steve. It’s just my life.”

You were used to Steve’s generosity, his ability to make any person feel a part of his family - you had been on the receiving end of his sincerity for the past week now. But as you held his gaze, his body seemingly towering over yours, your chest flushed with such warmness, a tranquil promise of safety. He leaned forward, breath hitting your cheeks, hand still gripping yours. 

“Not anymore. We’ll end this, Y/N. I promise you, we’ll end this.”

You took a risk and rested your forehead on his, his continuous promise still causing your stomach to twist pleasurably. “How’d we get so sad all of a sudden?” You pushed away and threw your arms in the air. “We need more breadsticks!”

Steve laughed loudly, the private booth still providing somewhat of a thin curtain to the other diners. “No, we need mints!”

Rolling your eyes, you blew your breath at Steve teasingly. “Weak.”

Steve groaned, “You and Scott are not getting into the car without chewing on a mint.”

“You got a thing against bad breath?”

“Take the mint.”

“I’m gonna fight you if you force the mint on me.”

He was reaching into his jacket and pulling the small case out. He winked at you. “I’ll win.”

He popped open the cap and held it out to you. He didn’t tip it though, as if he was waiting for you to extend your palm. Everything was silent for a minute, eyes challenging one another. 

He could easily lean in. He could easily just tilt his head a little to his left and capture your lips with his. Every damn molecule in his body was telling him to do it, every bubble from that champagne somehow giving him some extra courage. 

Your breath hitched slightly, and he leaned away. I’m such a coward, he thought.

You reacted swiftly, disguising the awkwardness. “You’re right, give me the mint. You should swallow like three.”

Steve snickered, “You ruined the moment.”

But you didn’t ruin the moment. And he just blamed you for it. Like he had already established - he was a coward. 

You grabbed the mints he offered and popped them into your mouth. “What moment? I didn’t see any moment.”

Okay, he could just lean in right now and hope the mint freshness in your mouth would mask the garlic in his. Yeah, he could just lean in and do what he’s been thinking of doing for the last day and a half-

“Hey, you guys finished? Getting dessert?”

Steve almost shot from his seat, “Jesus fucking christ, Scott!”

Scott slid into the seat across from you. “You scare easily. Let’s get dessert!” 

You were too flustered. Fine, okay. You’ll play along. If the gods want to reward you with this fun Steve, the Steve you were closest to years ago, then so be it. You’ll bite. And if he wants to resort back to his bitchy self, his hermit behavior, then you’ll fight him then. 

Scott ordered so much dessert. 

So much. 

The little moment you had with Steve was still fresh, you could sense he was thinking about it too, but you opted to simply enjoy the night out. You were here with two friends, protection was just a phone call away, and you were safe. 

Perhaps Scott had the same effect on Steve that he had on you. Absolutely demolished his ‘Captain’ self and released the guy who simply wanted to enjoy a mini road trip with his friends. 

     You were barely fifteen minutes into your ride home when Scott lowered the windows and turned the radio up high. 

“Woohoo!”

You screamed over the loud roar of the wind, “Scott, it’s fucking freezing!”

Scott yelled back, “We just had three desserts each! Your blood should be running warm!”

You blinked away the dryness, “Dude!”

Steve, surprisingly, agreed with Scott. “Enjoy it!”

Your mouth dropped open and you followed Steve’s movements as he turned the radio higher. 

The music blared and you were about to protest again, the air literally nipping at your sensitive cheeks, but the song that started was a non-skip. 

You would indulge in this childishness once. 

Once. 

You reached around the passenger seat and gripped Steve’s shoulders, shaking him in place. “Ah, California radio giving us the classics!”

Scott leaned over and turned it up higher. 

You swayed in your seat and sang along with Scott. “Bidi bidi bom bom!”

Scott pointed at you and recited the lyrics, “Bidi, bidi!”

Both of you sang, “Bom!”

Even with his eyes on the road, Scott was nailing some good dance moves in his seat. You both sang each lyric with your heart and soul, laughs escaping during the guitar breaks. 

Steve just enjoyed the show. He didn’t know the song, the melody a foreign one for him, but it must have been popular for both you and Scott to know it. He watched you sway in your seat, hands dancing and voice matching the volume of the radio. Just the other night, you had mentioned how you never sang anymore.

But here you were, singing through the most beautiful smile Steve had ever seen. 

He missed the sound of it. He missed hearing you sing in your room, no doubt you were dancing too since he usually heard your feet shuffling against your carpet. He missed the innocence you would casually portray, an invitation for anyone to befriend you. He missed teasing you lightly, and he regretted the roughness of his voice years later. He missed just walking into the common area and finding you there, cooking for yourself and anyone who wanted a plate - that plate usually for him. He missed you. 

You were right here, voice hitting those octaves Steve didn’t think he would ever hear again. You were right here, and he missed you. 

      Scott was staying in a separate room. The dessert and alcohol had run right through him, and he bid you goodnight after he threatened to plop down in your bed if you invited him in. 

The sound of Scott’s retreating footsteps seemed to suck all the air from the vents at once, whispering its song lovingly in your ear. It was both refreshing and terrifying to be left alone because now here you were, standing outside your hotel door with the super soldier you had gone to Hell and back with. 

You inwardly cringed, the tightness in your chest sending your childish ass back to sophomore year of college. A first date, the lost promise of another - a proper teenage reaction to a crush. But this man in front of you wouldn’t let you delete his number from your phone; he wouldn’t avoid eye contact in the dining hall; he wouldn’t sit at the back of the lecture hall just to keep a necessary distance. 

Granted, Elijah - poor, frightened Elijah - had seen you literally kidnap someone off the street under your father’s orders. This being before you went straight and moral, before you had met Fury, before SHIELD training. You were to blame for that sprouting relationship going south pretty quickly. So you avoided him, too - praying Ernesto or Seda could never track him. 

But Steve, beautiful Steve who reloaded your guns when you couldn’t, who jumped in front of stray bullets for you and those he loved, Steve who very quietly asked you for various salsa recipes when he was in the mood to cook. Here he was, eyes also watching Scott walk away, no doubt experiencing the same tight coil within his chest. He hadn’t run, he had worked and fought with and against you, and he wasn’t running away. 

No, Steve Rogers never ran. 

The low beep from the hotel lock snapped you from your thoughts. You sensed his hesitance because when your history was truly reviewed with the most unbiased of minds, there was absolutely no reason to overthink. Hell, when you ran through the halls of Thor’s Asgardian palace with Rocket tailing you, the first joke out your mouth was how Steve would probably instruct you to respect a place like that and speed walk. Your first thought when starting the pilot episode of a new show is to wait for Bucky… and Steve, who would pop the kernels over the stove and add real salt and butter. 

His first thought as he helped load people onto the planes in Sokovia was that your whiny ass better be on one of them. Or when Steve regrouped in the support circle, his first thought before he continued the discussion was that he really hoped you would walk through those doors and join - until one day you did. 

Whether the two of you recognized the severity of your unspoken feelings, they were there. Silent and at a gradual increase. Never rushed, not entirely obvious because of the temporary roadblocks of unnecessary separation. 

Steve was here in front of you, like he always was, and he was wearing the smallest nervous smile you had ever seen.  

And you were here in front of him, like you always were, and he could not entirely read the mixed emotions on your delicate face. 

You shuffled alongside your bed, stopping to shrug out of the heavy jacket you had on. “We should turn in early so we can be well-rested, in case we gotta fight tomorrow.”

Steve nodded in agreement but remained silent, hovering near the coffee table and monitors. Your back was facing him and he just watched you fumble with your boots and belt. It was like your back was on fire, bursting with fueled flames as you could literally feel his gaze boring into you. The overwhelming urge to simply snap and ask him what the hell he was looking at was strong, so in character, but you refrained. It was too intimate, too quiet, but before you could even ask him if he wanted the shower first, the warmth of his chest was near, inches away and calling. 

Your breath hitched, shoulders rising slightly and exactly what Steve needed to witness. It was awkward for him to just stand behind you with no actual intention of touching you first - no, he needed a proper signal. So Steve waited those few precious seconds more until you turned, sun-kissed by the California sun and hair no longer in tight curls, before he glanced down at your glossy lips. You followed his eyesight, all knowing in his intentions, and you glanced at his lips as well. 

A gesture of approval. 

Steve pulled you in, both hands settling on your cheeks, thumbs exploring the corners of your mouth. He watched them dance and how your mouth parted slightly in response. He looked back up, studying the small crease forming in between your eyebrows and the pinch of water filling the inside corners of your eyes.

His thumbs felt like a gentle sigh, a promise of a sweet caress in both the daytime and dead of night. Although all his focus was on you, his own features reacted to the moment. His lips were also parted, sweet breath with the scent of those classic tiramisu’s he had devoured, touching the tip of your nose and equally trembling lips. 

So goddamn intimate that you found yourself internally cursing those sitcoms Wanda had forced you to binge watch. Because the two love interests, albeit they had several months or years of growing tension, rushed into their first kiss for the sake of limited airtime. They didn’t prepare you for practically a ten-year build-up, a relationship that was both heavily work and friend related, the slowness of such a moment fans would most certainly be jumping out of their seats for. No, nothing could have prepared you for the warmth of Steve Rogers. 

Your Captain. 

You registered the soft feeling of his lips as they pressed against yours, overlapped only slightly. Eyes now fully closed in surprise and pleasure, you leaned into it more, hands placed on Steve’s rising chest. The squeeze of his hands cupping your cheeks caused your lips to pucker more, but you were relaxed in his desperate touch. He tilted his head a little to the left, your lips sliding against each other’s and noses bumping. Steve frowned in concentration, pouring whatever emotions he had felt throughout the last few years into this one kiss, and he knew he couldn’t possibly fully portray them. And almost as quickly as you thought about how sweet and innocent of a kiss this was, Steve’s tongue slowly peaked out from behind his teeth and greeted your bottom lip. 

His tongue traced over your bottom lip warmly, welcomed by yours as you followed his lead. God, you would always follow his lead. 

You tried to move in closer, but your elbows were already bent fully against him and his hips were only a few inches from your greedy ones. One tiny step forward and you would be completely flushed against him - but you chose to respect the distance Steve created. 

You let out a quiet whine, body shuddering as Steve applied more pressure. It was as if Steve had never heard such a sound - completely unexpected and causing him to pause momentarily. He leaned away a little, lips still barely kissing yours. He opened his eyes, gaze wandering from your flushed cheeks still squeezed between his palms and to your fluttering eyelids. The crease between his eyebrows deepened as he debated leaning forward again, to be selfish for once and to pass forth the trophy for ‘waiting too long’. But as you opened your eyes, no trace of regret or hate swimming inside your irises, Steve froze. 

You were his friend. His friend who teased him about the paint streaks across his forehead, who followed his lead no matter how ridiculous the order. 

He didn’t want you to inspect him further as well, so he shut his eyes and rested his forehead against yours. It was only then that he felt you settle back down from your tippy-toes. 

You gulped loudly, throat dry and lips instantly craving him again. “Steve…”

Steve let go of your face and dragged his hands lightly down your neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He turned his head slightly, his breath now kissing your cheek. Although your cheeks were red, the absence of Steve’s palms made them cold. 

He took a small step back, hands straining to stay on your skin as he reluctantly pulled them away. The absence of any warmth finally woke you from that intense daze and you frowned at Steve as he pulled away altogether. The instinct to reach out was there, and you cursed yourself for being so clingy. 

“Steve?” you called again, voice hoarse but light enough to pinch at Steve’s fast beating heart. 

He looked up and locked eyes with your confused ones. Oh, you’re gonna hate him for this. 

He gave you a small and kind smile, one you had seen plenty of times when he was actually enjoying your company. He backed up to the door, gaze never leaving yours even as he reached for the handle and key card. 

And he wanted to bring his hands back to your face to rub away that wrinkle between your furrowing eyebrows. But he simply opened the door and left you standing near the edge of your bed, flushed with a deep sense of longing and growing confusion. 

Steve already knew the amount of heat he would receive from the moment gossip of the kiss spread. Whether he was first to tell or you were. Bucky’s going to kick his ass, for sure, no doubt about it. No matter his bond with Bucky, it could never excuse leaving you alone to unravel this situation. You had this hold over Bucky, a soft mutual understanding of mental torture, so this inevitable ass kicking would be justified. Plus, after years of being rejected over and over, mostly in the forties, Bucky might just kick his ass for simply being a dumbass. 

But Steve felt calm, an added relaxation due to the whiskey cooling in his hand. If there was anything Steve was an expert in, it was overthinking. You two had that in common - were you overthinking while absentmindedly watching TV? Overthinking while rubbing shampoo into your scalp? Overthinking while angrily stomping your way down to the hotel bar to hand his ass back over to him?

He let out a sigh of relief when he didn’t see you burst through the doors. 

      “Anyone wanna start?”

Steve glanced around the circle of familiar and new faces. The group varied each week. Some people would try, share their anecdotes about lost loved ones, only to never show up for another session. Others often attended and never spoke, but they kept returning. Steve didn’t judge their choices - he couldn’t. No matter how many mornings he wanted to crawl back under the sheets and binge eat packaged foods, he never could. He had been at this job for two years. There was both pain and satisfaction in what he did. Sam would be doing this if he were here. 

And he had to do this for Sam. 

“My divorce was finalized yesterday.”

Steve looked over at the man who spoke first, a long-time member of this particular support group, and grimaced at his confession. The man couldn’t have been more than thirty, no wrinkles or gray hair, and he was ending a two-year marriage. 

“I’m sorry, Michael.”

The man, Michael, shrugged sadly, “We still love each other, man. But seeing your newborn disintegrate in your arms does something to your soul that’s just… we both knew we needed to move on. Even if it was from each other.”

Steve squeezed the small, red stress ball in his hand and tried to offer more condolences and a kind smile, but it came out rather painful. He opted to stay silent in case Michael wanted to continue. Instead, another member decided to comment. 

It went like this for almost an hour with Steve adding in his empathetic words of wisdom whenever he saw appropriate. It was good for everyone to share so openly, to carry the conversation with minimal involvement from Steve. Steve had shared snippets of his story with the group awhile back, careful to not mention the gruesome specifics. He had let out as much as he was able, not as much as he would have liked, but his main job was to facilitate. Besides, Steve went to confession every month to talk to someone - anyone - even if he wasn’t necessarily Catholic. But that’s just the thing - no one knew who they were anymore. 

The sound of a scraping chair leg caught everyone’s attention, and they all turned to the entrance in search of the disruption. You paused in your movements, face scrunched in embarrassment. Opening one eye, you mouthed a quick apology and rushed to carry the chair to the circle. 

“I’m sorry I’m late. Subway was a bitch,” you muttered, your embarrassed smile growing wider. 

For over a year, Steve had subtly urged you to attend one of these meetings. He was witness to your nightmares, your destructive solo missions that even Friday had no records of, and your sudden breakdown last week. You were casually jogging around the outdoor track when you suddenly stopped and fell to your knees, broken sobs seeming to shake the trees around you. You were crouched for a good minute before Steve had seen you wipe your eyes and continue your jog. As if nothing happened. 

To see you here, whether to share or to listen, prompted the proud and erratic beating of Steve’s heart. 

“It’s completely fine. Time’s almost up but we still got time for you.”

You sent Steve a funny smile, amused by his professional tone. “Uh, yeah! A friend convinced me to come. He was pretty persuasive.”

Steve blushed, head tilting downward. 

You introduced yourself and let the group know you were also an Avenger. No one seemed shocked and you were suddenly grateful for this mixture of people. 

Steve sat and listened, his nerves settling. 

“I’m gonna be honest with you all,” you started, thumbs dancing in your lap. “And I’m not sure how you’ll react.”

Steve sat up straight, eyebrows scrunching as he listened intently. 

You sighed, wetting your lips briefly. “The day before the snap, I was supposed to die.”

You wanted to avoid Steve’s gaze until the right moment. You continued, “I went on a mission to Mexico. Alone, which was completely against protocol but hey, we broke a lot more rules than that.”

Steve cleared his throat which earned a chorus of chuckles from the group. 

“And I was technically on house arrest but I found out a way to temporarily disable that ankle monitor,” you added, grinning from the laughs you were receiving. 

“Anyway, all my potential backup was nonexistent. I had friends on the run,” you paused, glancing at Steve with a somber expression. “And other friends literally fighting another battle on their home planet somewhere in space. So, I went alone.”

“While I was bleeding out from a bullet my own father ordered, Tony was already up in space. Loki was already dead.”

You hoped no one commented on Loki’s role in your life. He wasn’t exactly a nice figure to suddenly name drop in New York, but he was important in your grief. 

It was slightly unnerving to be on display here, but you weren’t exactly planning on returning. You just needed to rant. 

“I stitched myself up the best I could in that quinjet - which I almost crashed,” you muttered, smirking at Steve. “Sorry, Cap.”

“This is the first time I've heard you flew. You’re not even authorized to fly,” Steve declared, face scrunched in confusion and astonishment. 

“That’s not important,” you teased. “But the stitches were messy work. Horrible criss-crosses.”

Steve was in a tiny state of shock. He had known what happened to you, but to hear you talk so casually about the day before the world went to shit - it just made it more real. 

You had mentioned before that you never dreamed about the snap, but about everything leading up to it. 

“I woke up, betrayed yet again by my own blood, and Steve was suddenly there after two years. We were gonna fight an outside threat.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and huffed lightly, “I was still healing but I was on the battlefield. Stayed close to Nat most of the time.”

The group was heavily invested in your retelling. “I couldn’t fight him, obviously. But I did see him. I saw how he ripped that stone from my friend’s head.”

A few winces sounded around the circle. 

“I guess I feel immense guilt. Like, I could have done something more even though realistically, I couldn’t. Kinda feels like I sat back and watched my friend’s die.”

No one spoke, but it was obvious everyone had survivor’s guilt. 

“And now, I’m living with the pain of having all three of my best friends stripped from me while also celebrating the fact that the snap took my father.”

Shrugging, you gave your last sad smile to the group. “I feel guilty for what happened while also being grateful it took someone who deserved it.”

After a few seconds of silence, Steve spoke. “You’re here today to tell your story. No one has to agree or disagree with you. It’s your story. Tell it like it is.”

You chuckled, “I could easily bother Steve with this at the compound.” You smiled at the teenager clutching what looked like a stuffed animal in his lap. “But I had nothing else to do tonight. My only friends are gone.”

“You and Steve aren’t friends?”

This time it was Michael that spoke, his eyes bouncing from you to Steve. You turned to Steve for some kind of answer. Was it a yes? Were you more like coworkers than true friends? 

Steve’s eyes softened and his kind smile was back. 

You answered, “I guess. I did come here for him.”

Steve rolled his eyes and kept his light-hearted tone, “I’m really glad you did.” 

Steve backtracked, clearing his throat as he addressed the circle. “I’m really glad all of you did. Same time next week.”

You busied yourself with stacking the chairs and dusting off your pants. Once most of the group had left, Steve gathered his things and walked over to you. “You take the subway?”

Your head shot up at the sound of his voice, and you stacked the final chair high. “I did. You drive?”

Steve hummed in response, “Want a lift?”

You raised an eyebrow at him, “You’re not staying at your place tonight?”

“Nah, I haven’t seen Nat in a week. I should pay her a visit.”

He curled his jacket around your shoulders as you exited the building. You held it tightly, relishing in the comfort. The walk back to the car was quiet but not awkward. After such a heavy night, silence was most definitely needed. And just the comfort of being around someone you trusted added to the relaxation aspect of it all. 

Steve kicked a loose piece of gravel to the street. You watched him for a few seconds before you spoke, voice light and a puff of cold air escaping your lips. 

“Steve?” 

He turned to you and waited for you to continue speaking. 

“You know Sam would be so proud of you doing this, right?”

Steve watched the cold air leave his own lungs as well. He felt the weight of that statement pressing down on his shoulders as he looked up at the dark sky. “I know.”

     Steve knew he was utterly fucked, so fucked that any line that had been established was stepped over and kicked a thousand yards back. His mind was made up, he would not run, he would not succumb to some former mindset 2016 Steve would have fallen victim to. He was a new person, a completely different person than he was out of the ice and after the snap. He deserved to cross the line, he deserved whatever happiness was afforded to him - he deserved comfort in the arms of another after years of denying himself. 

He downed the rest of his drink with a loud gulp, mind made up, and headed back to your room. 

    It was best to just pretend it never happened… no? But did you want to pretend it never did? So many moments over the years where this could have happened, where either of you could have literally just said ‘fuck it’. As overthinking was a specialty, quite a useless skill, you thought about the countless fights you had. 

Red in the face, hands clenched until nails imprinted little crescents, absolutely seething at the mouth. Some of the things you would yell were vile, none at all honest but with the intent to cause pain for only a moment, and mumbled apologies later. You were literally enemies for these past two, long years. Enemies who had to be seated and scolded, tricked into accepting defeat and living as teammates once more. 

Perhaps one of those arguments could have been remedied by simply leaning in like you had tonight, by throwing each other against the wall, by pulling the roots of your hair as he tugged-

Nope. 

Nope. 

No matter how much tension you were now realizing you had for this man, tension that could literally be fucked out, wasn’t it too late to act on it? You couldn’t pinpoint the chance you maybe had and missed. 

Steve walked through the door in the middle of your rapid brainstorming. He just grinned sweetly and slipped into the bathroom. 

As simple as that. 

Now you couldn’t discern between the feelings of wanting to fight him or fuck him. Not being able to differentiate between them ignited a sour mood, and once he stepped out from the shower, you basically pushed him to the side to lock yourself in. 

Even the warm water hitting your body couldn’t alleviate the pressure of overthinking. You disregarded your hair tonight and instead just washed your body. As quick as you could jump back out and go to bed, the better.  

Sucking in a deep breath, you opened the door and shut off the bathroom light. Your eyes landed on Steve’s torso, shirtless and the only thing not covered by the white blanket. He hadn’t shaved his beard either, the length evident when he kissed you earlier. It felt wrong and right at the same time, a battle that you seriously did not want to deal with. To get involved with your mission partner was dangerous - not because Steve himself was dangerous, but because it was a giant distraction. A distraction that you couldn’t afford. 

But as he put down his book and lay it in his lap, looking up to look at you through hooded eyes, sleepy but alert, the ‘danger’ was nothing but enticing. 

You cleared your throat and padded down your pajama shorts absentmindedly, slinging your hair over one shoulder and focusing on plugging your charger into your phone. It was so silent besides your pitter-patter, and god, did Steve find that sound so relaxing, until you climbed into bed. Once your shuffling was done, the slight buzzing of Steve’s desk lamp drowned out all your other senses. And the longer it was heard, the more it sounded like a ticking clock. 

Steve shut the lamp off, the only light now illuminating your figure from outside. He studied your breathing, watching how every so often you would bring your hand up to scratch your cheek or move a stray hair. You looked so gentle, so inviting, so small. 

You were turned away from him and facing the wall, eyes shut as you listened to his movements. There was a small part of you that wanted to stay up all night talking, to lean on his shoulder and simply feel his warmth, to feel that beard against your cheek one more time. As quickly as those thoughts flashed through your mind did you scold yourself, that this was inappropriate and wrong and so dangerous. 

You felt a dip in your bed, heavy and unsure, a lift of your blankets, and it happened so quickly that you could have sworn you dreamt it. Steve wrapped his arm around you, his broad chest pressed tightly against your back and his lips attacked the skin just below your earlobe. Your breath hitched, eyes shot open, and your hands reached up to grip his wrist. Steve stilled. 

“Tell me to stop,” he breathed, lips hovering over your blushing skin and breath practically blistering. You could feel him now, hard and pulsing against your ass and ready to move. You felt dizzy, overcome with such a rush of desire that you couldn’t help but stiffen in his tight grasp. 

“Don’t,” you choked out, feeling his body become rigid and his breath begin to quicken. 

“I’m sorry I-” he began to move away from you, voice no longer a whisper and tainted with panic. 

“No,” you pulled back, tilting your head up to lock eyes with him. You brought your arm up to grasp the back of his head, and you tugged it back to your neck. “Don’t stop.”

Yeah, he was utterly fucked. “Fuck,” he groaned, continuing the attack on your neck. But he gained momentum now, arm squeezing you against him tighter, and voice cracking as he moaned your name. 

“Steve, please do something.”

Your hands found their way back to his arm, gripping it tightly as he fumbled with the waistband of your shorts. He played with it, teasing in his actions, almost as punishment for the years you tormented him with your attitude. His lips pressed harder now, finding each patch of available skin on your neck and flushed cheek, and Steve has never felt so aroused in his life. He wasn’t even inside you, but the quick gasps he heard from you did plenty in aiding the rush of blood from his head to his stiffening cock. 

“Tell me what you want. Please, tell me and I’ll give it to you,” he moaned, the slightest experimental role of the hips causing you to whimper. 

“Touch me,” you practically sobbed, rolling your hips back against him, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you felt all of him.  

And just like that, he gave you what you asked for. He gripped your hip and shoved you closer to him, hot and ready and pressed firmly against you. He rolled his hips into you, little whimpers of his own touching your sensitive ear. He quickened his pace and he found it hard to think straight when the scrunch of pleasure all over your face, making you look so willing, was all he was focused on. He focused on the way you bit your lip, a bite and then a gasp, and then you were back to biting as if you were trying to restrain any higher moan. And even with only the moonlight illuminating the room, he could see the sun-kissed color of your skin and the bruising he was causing. He kept his mouth on you as he rocked himself against you, indulging in a few more selfish seconds of pleasure before becoming his generous self. 

He dipped his hand into your shorts and found the sweet nub that so desperately needed attention. His brain almost short circuited, the feeling of his fingers finally sliding into your wet lips making his throat dry. He drew little but skilled circles, each twirl of his index and middle finger in unison with the grind of his hips. Your mouth fell open by such pleasure, and you braced yourself by placing your left palm on the mattress and pressed down, nails scratching the cotton fabric and alerting Steve of your excitement. You pushed back against him, timed and in perfect harmony. 

You knew the room wasn’t on fire, but even if it was you didn’t think to check. 

“Keep talking to me, Y/N. Keep talking to me,” Steve begged, each rotation of his hips gaining pressure. His eagerness prompted you to reach back up and grab him by the hair, yanking his head to your tilted one and smashing his lips against yours. Steve gasped at the pleasant sting, somewhat surprised with himself that he liked that form of roughness. But who was he to judge his kinks when the tip of your nose was turning redder, the blush in your cheeks mixed with barely visible silver droplets of sweat, and a purple outline was beginning to form on your plump upper lip? 

The kiss was sloppy, uncoordinated, but still beneficial in getting Steve to rut against you even harder. 

He could so easily pull your shorts down and enter you, and if he was anything like he felt, then you knew it would sting. But you craved that sting and stretch, the thought of him inside you causing another gush of desire to leak from you. Steve dipped his finger deeper into you only to accumulate your juices and spread them higher. He went back to rubbing expertly, actions gaining speed to match your whimpers. 

“Fuck, Steve,” you moaned louder, and you swore you felt tears forming in the corner of your eyes. You pressed back harder, his hand rubbing and pressing down on your stomach simultaneously. Your head felt cloudy, the pleasure coursing through your veins and to the very tips of your toes. “Oh, my fuck.”

Steve paused his fingers to trail his hand back up your stomach and to your breasts, pulling your tank top down to spill them. The sounds leaving your throat set him on fire, desire pulsing everywhere - his head, his heart, his aching cock that was pressed so closely against you that he could feel you vibrating. He pinched your nipple and rolled it, closing his eyes in response to your dirty purrs. “Let me make you come, doll.”

“Wasn’t that the point?” you quipped, ass tilting at an angle that caused Steve to choke. He growled from the attitude he couldn’t believe you still fucking had during a moment like this and kissed you roughly, both your broken moans molding into one. His hand returned to your shorts. 

“Do that again,” he begged, hitching his leg up to rest on yours. The angle allowed him to drive his hips even harder. You maneuvered to provide the same tilt, grinning at the pleasurable cries that left your Captain’s mouth. 

“I think I’m gonna make you come first,” you chuckled and took his bottom lip between your teeth. You pulled lightly, concentration still in the circle of your hips. He looked back down at you, determination and undeniable lust in his eyes. He thrust his aching cock against you, sliding himself over your ass. He did it hard but slow, the pressure applied giving the head of his cock such a sweet squeeze as he bumped it against the curve of your lumbar spine. 

The heavy duvet was abandoned now, cold air from the hotel air conditioner failing in cooling you down at all. You both had a thin sheet of sweat on your clothed bodies, goosebumps standing proudly, and lips all plump and red from your harsh kissing. 

Steve held you so close, so tight, and his fingers were drawing such rushed and tiny circles that you swore his wrist had to be cramping up. But the sound of both your whimpers started to mesh together, alerting you of such a sweet climax up ahead. 

“Steve, fuck, fuck, ohh,” you mewled, voice now high pitched and yes, it turned Steve on incredibly but it also fueled you. Your pornographic moans ignited an even deeper desire within you, just the true fact that Steve was touching you, Steve was getting you to make these sounds, Steve is actually hearing these sounds, Steve is making the same exact sounds. 

 “I-, please, come for me,” Steve pleaded, cock twitching with each thrust as he neared his end. “Make me come.”

His begging, his equally high voice, his skilled fingers rubbing rapidly and the slight pain from that, his breath burning your neck, were all too powerful, their combinations causing the fire in your core to explode and make you see white in a flash, black dots later clouding your vision. Your nails dug into his moving arm, crescents branded into him. You clenched around nothing, walls fluttering and thighs shaking as they pressed around his hand and fingers. 

The inappropriate squelching sound of your juices spreading as your thighs clenched around his cramping fingers, the slide so sensual and dirty, had Steve rutting against you one, two, three more times before he came in hard but long spurts. His mouth hung open, breath still fanning your neck, and his eyes were so tightly shut that the force was enough to strain them. 

“Oh, fuuuck, yes, yes!” Steve groaned, his body taking longer than usual to recover. His orgasm was powerful, more powerful than when he got himself off in the shower or in the comfort of his bed at night, and he knew it was because you clouded his senses. Of course, there was an added benefit to getting off with someone else, aiding that person in the same endeavor, but because it was you, it made the climax even more forceful, more intense. The whole situation was both unexpected and calculated, gentle and rough, and Steve’s heart was beating so fast by the thought of what just occurred that he found himself wanting to spill into you all night long, and to apologize for overstepping an unspoken boundary. 

You could feel the wetness of both your own release and Steve’s, head still cloudy from such a sharp orgasm. You hummed in satisfaction, reaching your arm over once again to lift his head up by his hair. He hissed at the pull now, his body all fucked out and satisfied. “You good?”

Steve gave you a lazy smile, chest heaving in unison with yours. “I’m okay. You?”

“I’m good.”

Steve scanned your face for any regret just in case your words held other meaning, but all he could see was your satisfied expression, cheeks still flushed pink, hair tangled, and pupils dilated. He hesitated for a second before he leaned down and connected your lips, molding his with yours slowly and chastely. You both sighed at the feeling, highs now lowering and the coldness from the air conditioner causing a different set of goosebumps to appear. Steve pulled away, giving you one last peck as if testing the waters, and rested his forehead against yours. You both relished your post-orgasm bliss for a few silent minutes before cleaning up. 

You shared playful shoves as you cleaned up. It was almost innocent, a huge contrast to the sinful activities you two had just committed, but there was a genuine feeling of understanding in the room. Your heart clenched at the simple sight of Steve washing his hands, eyes meeting his in the mirror, a soft look in his that startled you. 

You gave him a smile so as to not alert him of your reaction, and exited the bathroom to climb back into bed. You drew the heavy duvet back over your body and cuddled in it deeply, chin hidden underneath and back facing Steve’s bed. It was a few more minutes before Steve came back into the room, shutting the light off, and looking at your resting form. He wanted to climb back in with you and hold you innocently, to have the feeling of your warm back against his broad chest, gentle exhales tickling the arm that would wrap around you. But he just looked back and forth from your bed and his, and he decided to not push the boundary further. He hesitated with this decision, but climbed into his own bed, the feeling of his cold sheets making him immediately regret it. He shuffled silently, his body facing yours. 

You wanted to lay beside him too. But whether you were making a smart decision or an absurd, cowardly one, one thing was certain: you could no longer ignore the stacking of such emotions you had for this man. 

It almost angered you, how much you denied yourself of even a simple crush for literally ten years, and it made you mad at Steve, too. Because if he hadn’t pushed you away, then maybe you could have accepted this sooner. 

~

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