#and well. the answer is quite simple. and also twofold

[flashhwing]

I think im only gonna plan my campaign up to level 10 then whatever happens happens. leaving the plot from there up to my players. your turn to weave the narrative bitch

[dizzydancingdreamer]

The Servant and The Prince | Two

Description: This is very much a Cinderella trope because I cannot help myself and I am in love with Loki, chapter two

Pairing: Loki x Female!Reader, third person as I may adapt eventually with an OC

Warnings: LMAO kinda smut? No- I don’t know how I managed to do this in the second chapter but I did and I don’t care, they’re soulmates, sue me- it is not graphic and it is important for the plot I swear 

Tags: Fluff, again kinda smut but in the least graphic way, a touch of angst near the end

Word count: 5.2k (why can’t I write essays this fast?)

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Master List

The ride to the capitol takes three gruelling days. Each night is spent at a different tavern. It is the same story each time; Estrid and Anna spend the night in a lavish bed and Y/n is left with the horses, curled under her thankfully baggy cloak. It is neither warm nor comfortable, sleeping on the bench seat of the carriage. She never really falls asleep, she only dozes in and out of consciousness. It is almost always interrupted by footsteps or the murmurs of animals or her own mostly empty stomach growling into the night. That one is twofold- usually her stomach is in so much nauseating pain that she cannot sleep but, on the off occasion she can, she is then awoken by the loud roars it makes.

When she does sleep her dreams are plagued by nightmares of drowning in water that tastes of salt. It is always the same, her body sinking slowly to the bottom of what she can only assume is the sea, her lung filling with more and more of the saline water. She has never been to the sea but she has heard stories. She always wanted to go but now she is not so sure.

Each morning she wakes at the crack of dawn, sneaking out of the carriage like a mouse scampering away from the booming footsteps of a prowling cat. Of course she is not allowed to be sleeping in the carriage but it is a liability she must take. She would much rather be punished by Estrid than found by a drunken stable boy. Who would have thought she would miss her simple bed so much. It is just a worn mattress and the last of her mother’s quilts but she longs for it more than anything. She longs for a lot of things in the passing days.

With everyday that passes the anger grows stronger too. She has never been a restless girl but in less than three days it feels like everything she thought she was is wrong. Even while sitting still she feels as though she is pacing in a room that she is completely unfamiliar with. Granted it could be the rocking of the carriage- three days is a long time to be shaken up so- but still it feels different. When she squeezes her eyes closed hard enough she can see those differences. A bed with emerald sheets and a desk pushed against a window. And a man. A tall man who is shrouded in darkness. No matter how hard she squeezes her eyes she cannot make out his features.

She can see what he does sometimes though. He likes to sit at the desk and let the sunlight pour over him. That is the only time she does not feel the overwhelming anger, like daggers, slicing down the insides of her throat. She feels peace in those moments- almost like she is with him, her skin absorbing the sunshine as well. If only it was sunny during the night then maybe she could get a proper night's sleep.

The sunshine is not the only time she feels him, though. It is the best but not all. She can also feel when he digs his fingers through his hair, pulling so hard on the invisible strands that her scalp begins aching as well. She can feel it when he throws his head back, the soundless roar bubbling in her throat. His voice is a mystery to her. Somewhere deep inside her she knows what he sounds like, she just cannot describe it. It is there though, ingrained into parts of her that she also cannot describe. In those moments, if she could scream and know that her voice would sound exactly like his she would do it, if only to truly remember. That is what it feels like- forgetting. She is forgetting something gravely important.

Or she is just losing her everloving mind.

She cannot explain it, whatever it is; all she knows is that she does not understand. The anger is hers but not. The pacing and hair tugging are hers but not. The twinge of familiarity in everything that she sees in her mind. It is all both her own and not hers at all and it is infuriating. What is even more infuriating is to be so angry without reason. If she is to be angry all the time then at least she should know why. She would chalk it up to her situation- there is more than enough in her life to be angry about- but she had never really been angry before. Achingly desperate and mournful, yes. But angry? Before these past few days she never really understood the word.

The anger, then, must be his. But, if it is his, why then is it also hers? This time it is her who slams her hands against her head, digging in desperately. Why does none of it make any sense at all? She squeezes her eyes shut, so hard she sees that little spark of white that must mean her eyes are not supposed to be used so carelessly. She pushes past it- right now it does not matter. She is on a mission to find something out- to find anything out.

Only seconds later does the blackness behind her eyelids shift and she is no longer on the back of the carriage but rather back in his bedroom. The sunlight is pouring in through the window again and she sighs. Thank Odin. The last of her remaining senses that anchor her to the real world fizzle away as she scampers towards the desk where a figure cloaked in all black sits in a wooden chair. One of his shadowy hands is propped up on the desk, his fingers twisting through the rays. For a moment it feels like he is beckoning her to him, curling his fingers like an invitation meant only for her.

Of course she goes to him.

She barely registers the feeling of her feet hitting the stone below her- probably because she is not actually in the room walking towards him. That does not stop her from pretending like she is, gliding to meet him in the sunshine. She stands next to him for a moment, her heart galloping steadily. For once it is not from fear; there is nothing about him that she is afraid of. She wants nothing more than to climb onto his lap and let her body soak in the sunshine as well. It is not fear that makes her heart pound; it is anticipation. It is the looming sadness. She will try to climb into the sunshine- just as she has tried for each of the two days prior- and she will feel nothing. She never feels the warmth of the sun or the warmth of his darkened body. Still, she will try- it is all she can do to try.

She takes a deep breath, the faintest- almost nonexistent- aroma of pine trees and salt tickling her nose. The carriage must be close to the sea. She tosses the thought aside, bracing her hands on the side of the desk. Her fingers land how they are supposed to, splayed against the top, but she cannot feel the smooth plains of the mahogany. Her fingers stop with resistance but it is not tangible. Like every day before, she lifts herself up, placing her knees on either side of his dark lap. She braces for the same easy resistance of air to keep her hovering steadily above him. It will feel almost like nothingness- like only the memory of him is there instead of a real man. It is blissful, like coming home, and devastating, like being barred from entering said home, all at the same time.

She holds herself for a moment longer, not quite ready to feel nothing at all, and that is when it happens- his shadowy face snaps up and she can make out the faintest hint of icy blue in his otherwise misty eyes. She gasps, her heart beating even faster. Can he see her? Can he feel her? It is as though his eyes are boring into hers through her little daydream. It feels so real- like he is actually there and not just a figment of her imagination.

Her hands slip from the edge of the table, her knees jolting against the wooden chair almost painfully. There is a dull thud as she sinks down. That has not happened before. She snaps her gaze down to her legs, her mouth falling open at the sensation of her thighs spreading and pressing against leather. Yes, not the air that she has grown so used to but buttery leather and two warm legs that are covered by the folds of her dress. She could moan from how delicious it feels against her skin- both the supple leather and the feeling of finally being allowed back into her home- but of course she does not. Both because she does not want to risk the man hearing her wanton breaths and because he beats her to it.

Shadowy hands curl over her simple dress, fingers squeezing against her hips. She pulls her gaze back to the man's face, stifling another moan when he does again, almost as if testing the newness of being able to feel her. She supposes that is the answer she is looking for- he can definitely feel her. She watches as his lips- still shrouded in darkness like the rest of him- move frantically. No words form, not even hisses of air. She cannot hear anything he is saying. She can only feel him and his hands as he pulls her higher onto his lap, spreading her thighs even further until she is pressed harder into him. Her body molds into his with each shift, matching each dip and curve with her own, like two puzzle pieces clicking into place.

His mouth keeps moving, his faint icy eyes flicking across her face. Can he see her or does she appear like he does to her- a black mass of nothingness? She tests it the extent of her presence, placing her hands on his chest. Her heart is in her throat as her fingers smooth against the same supple leather, feeling the warm plains of armour and the way his chest heaves when she presses harder. His face tilts down, towards where she touches him, before snapping up to gaze at her. Again he tries to speak, his hands crawling up her back. His touch is heavenly- blissfully gentle against her injured spine- and she sinks back into him. She may as well soak in her daydream to its full extent.

She slides her fingers up to cup his cheeks. She cannot cannot make out the color of his skin but she can feel the heat rolling off him. His stubble bites at her palms, scratching her softly. She giggles, running her forefingers over it, exploring the contours of his face. Her thumbs drag over his cheekbones and he says something again, turning his face into her palm. His lips move against her skin and she wishes more than anything she could hear him. She wants to hear everything he is saying.

She draws his eyes back to hers, shaking her head slightly. He stops talking, his head cocking to the side. She cannot see it but she is almost certain his brows knit together. She is also certain that this man is beautiful, despite having only seen his eyes. If only her imagination were strong enough to fill in the blanks. Perhaps she is damaged- why else would she not be able to fill in a man of her making? His mouth opens again.

Y/n taps two fingers to her mouth and then to her ears, shaking her head. “I cannot hear you.”

She doubts that he will be able to hear her as well but she tries anyway. Her voice comes out soft, jarring against the silence. It is quieter here that she realizes. As expected, his eyes fill with confusion, narrowing slightly. One of his hands moves from her back and she swallows a whines at the rush of cool air that meets the place he had been holding her, immediately longing for the lost contact. Her bottom lip puckers out without her consent. Perhaps he notices, his gaze dropping low. Perhaps his eyes fall past her lips as well, though.

His other arm, the one still around her waist, tightens, sliding until his fingers curl around her opposing hip. Her knees slide even further forward with his actions, knocking into the back of the chair as her chest bumps into his. She shoots her hands out again, grasping onto his sturdy shoulders to keep from toppling off his lap, her thighs squeezing harder around him. Her skin drinks in the buttery material once more and this time she cannot stop the moan from rolling off her tongue, pleasure spiking up her spine. It is like nothing she has never felt before; a bolt of lightning striking right between her legs where her body nestles into his. It zaps her from the inside out, the most blissful heat pooling in the pit of her belly. Gods, the things she would do to hang on to that feeling forever.

He freezes under her, his shadowy arm around her hips stilling. Their faces are inches apart and it is as though she can almost feel his breaths against her lips. That is impossible but still the strange memory of his breath tickles, her mind filling in the blanks with what she assumes it would feel like. She can just barely taste the peppermint, somehow sharp through her dream.

Her hands squeeze harder against his shoulders as she sinks further onto him, her soft body molding again to fit against his hard one. The feeling repeats itself as she does- that wonderful bolt of pleasure- and her eyes flutter closed for a moment, her head falling back. Her mouth draws open as she clings to the growing heat between her legs. She has no idea why it is building or what will happen when it finally overflows but she is more than willing to find out.

His hand finally skims across her cheek, his fingers dipping behind her neck and curling, locking her in place against him. His hand is just as warm as the rest of him, adding a certain heaviness to her eyelids, one that she had been missing for days. He nudges her face gently and she pushes past the sleep and pleasure to meet his stare. He does not speak this time; he must have learned that it would not work. Instead he squeezes her hip, his icy eyes glancing down to where her legs are wrapped around him, before boring back into hers. He shifts again, pressing up and against her, sparking another round of that marvellous lightning in her belly, this time even stronger.

Her veins fill with fire and for a moment she can feel the sunshine on her back and hear the creaking of the chair underneath them as if she were actually in the room with him and not just locked in her own imagination. It does not last long, her newly unlocked senses, and as he relaxes back into his seat the fire in her blood mingles with desperation. She slides her fingers up his neck, tangling them in his soft hair. There is no hint of color, only the same shadows. She needs to see more- feel more.

“Please,” she draws his face up towards her, furiously pulling his darkened body towards hers. The contrast of her skin against his shadowed cheeks increases her drive- she has to see him. “Please do it again. I need more.”

It is futile, her little cries. She knows they will fall soundless on his ears. She can only hope that her actions, choked and frantic as she clings to him, can convey everything her lips cannot. He stares down, his crystal eyes locked on hers, his lips pressed together. His stillness makes her heart hammer rapidly against her ribcage. Please, by Odin, understand; I need you.

She pulls him even closer to her, falling until her back hits the edge of the desk and she is caged between it and him, still perched on his lap. Her dress bunches around her hips, her bare legs secured around his waist and squeezing him to her. Still he does not move, his eyes dragging down until his head is bowed between them, gaze locked on where their hips meet. His hand around her neck tightens, his eyes snapping back to hers, the blue visibly more brilliant. Glowing. He raises a shadowy brow, nodding slowly. Yes you oaf, yes! She would have screamed at him if she knew it would not be pointless. Instead she nods back at him, tugging gently on his hair. When he still does not move she finally snaps.

She springs forward, her arms wrapping around his shoulders, her face pressed against the crook of his neck. She really has no clue what she is doing- at this point she only knows one thing; she wants to be here with him and will do whatever she has to in order to make it happen. She gently runs her nose along the side of his neck, soaking in his warmth, her fingers twisting once more in his silky hair. His chest heaves against hers again and she smiles. That must mean something good, right?

She starts slow, her lips barely glimpsing his skin, testing his reactions to her.

She presses a soft kiss below his jaw.

He wraps his other hand back around her hip.

She brushes her lips lower, harder, kissing his throat.

He squeezes her softly, rolling his head back and revealing more of his neck to her.

She sucks some of his skin into her mouth, letting it go with a pop that sounds as though it echoes through an actual room and not just through her mind.

He pulls her flush against his chest with a groan that just barely grazes her ears, sparking the jagged pieces of her memory to fill in his luscious voice.

She tugs his earlobe into her mouth, biting down a little less gently.

He stands with her still wrapped around him and presses her back against a now fully formed tabletop.

She gasps again, not expecting the vast switch but not angry about it either. In fact this is the first time she is not unreasonably angry and she wishes she could hold onto this feeling. This happiness. She giggles up at him as her skirt pools higher around her hips, her body no longer upright and squished between the desk and him. One of his dark arms lands next to her, sliding under her head. The other hand slips under her skirt, his rough fingers a delicious contrast against her smooth skin. He presses down, his thumb circling her hip bone softly, holding her against him. She sinks her head back into his hand, unable to tear the smile from her lips. This must be what home feels like.

She squeezes her thighs, connecting their bodies. He rolls his hip against her, finally giving her the pressure she has been craving, and the building inferno inside her roars back to life. She arches her back off the desk, trying to get even closer to him, and he leans down to meet her, pressing his stomach against hers. He bucks against her again and she can taste the peppermint for real this time- the salt and the pine so sharp that there is no way she can be imagining it.

The lightning spikes through her each time he juts against her. It crackles through her nervous system, flashing in her eyes. With every spark the colors around her become more vibrant, her senses overflowing. She catches glimpses of the emerald bed behind him and some jade strips of leather in his armour. She can hear the steady rocking of the desk, the scraping of the leather against her thighs. Her little sighs are clear, she no longer has to wonder if they are only in her head. She still cannot hear him but she can see the pink in his lips as they form around his words. They look soft and capable and it is all she can do to roll her head back into his hand and pray that he understands the invitation.

He does.

Unlike her he does not start slow. He leans down immediately, pulling her skin into his mouth feverishly and biting down. Her eyes slam shut as he does so, one of her hands falling to the arm anchored beside her. She curls his fingers around his bicep, forcing herself to remain still in the face of one of the most intense experiences she has ever had. She did not know that a mans lips on her skin could feel this way. The sensation is completely foreign- otherworldly. So is the moan that carves its way out of her throat, filling the space between them. It is loud and aching- much like the rest of her- and it rewards her with something that she is not expecting in the slightest. A laugh.

His laugh.

She pushes herself up as soon as the small sound falls against her ears, musical and elegant, her eyes peeling open to the sight of sharp green leather and raven black hair. His skin is still cloaked in the darkness, his hands two shadowy masses as they snake to her thighs, but she relishes in the details that her mind grants her. Her mother’s words ring through her ears. You are so powerful, little dove. That is exactly how she feels right now; powerful. She will pull him through the darkness, little by little, until she can hear the air in his lungs and see the blush in his face. She will do it if it is the last thing she ever does.

He goes to pull away from her, his face dropping and hands releasing. His icy eyes a tinged with worry. As he takes a step back the color in his lips begins to fade, the pink dulling to a soft grey. No! She uses her legs to drag him back against her, hard enough to make him slam his hands onto the desk next to her hips. The sound thunders through the room and she smiles, the whoosh of air that accompanies his movements like a warm summer breeze chasing away the cold spring. The fire in her belly drinks it in, layering it on top of the lightning like a blanket. She wraps her arms around his shoulders again, clinging to him completely.

“Stay please.” She holds his gaze as she pleads with him, every word making the blue in his eyes brighten even more. “Please-” She does not know what to call him, he has no name that she can recall. Only one word sparks in her mind- an old word she used to hear her mother use occasionally- “Surtr.”

Dark one.

His back straightens as the word slips from her tongue, pulling her up with him until he is standing. It is like something inside him snaps- much like it had earlier in her- and he presses her against the stone wall, using his hips to hold her in place as he all but rips the straps off her arms. His mouth finds her skin again, feathering kisses down her shoulders and over the tops of her breasts where they spill out of her loosened dress.

She digs her heels into his back, encouraging him to press harder against her. He obliges, sparking the fire once more. This time, when the lightning strikes she can taste the smoke in her throat. She is so close to overflowing; right there on the edge. The smell of pine trees is overwhelming now- like she is in a forest surrounded by them. The salt is almost as strong. She licks her lips, drinking in as much of it as she can as she meets his thrusts. The only thing she can think is that the feel of the leather between her thighs is her new favourite thing.

“You are the one who must stay.”

His voice is like honey, dripping slowly down her skin. It is utter perfection; sweet and low. Everything she had been imagining and so much more. He lifts his face, now only thinly veiled by the shadows. She can see bits of his skin, flushed but rosy, peaking through. His raven hair falls forward, tickling her cheeks and nose. She drags her fingers through it again, pushing it away from his face. Something inside her roars to life at the sight- at the sounds. His groans and the hitch in his chest and the little slap he gives her thigh that makes her giggle again. All of it combines with the final jut of his hips against hers and then next thing she knows she is falling, like a star from the sky, spiraling straight into the sweetest oblivion anyone has ever known.

The pleasure that fills her body is like nothing she could have ever imagined. That is how she knows it is real. She is not creative enough to manufacture the desperate sounds he makes against her skin nor the feeling of them both sinking slowly down the wall into a pile of woozy limbs and panting breaths. She does not influence the way he curls around her, shielding her as she muffles her screams into his chest- no dream could feel as strong and soft as his arms as he glues their shaking bodies together. No; this is real.

He is real.

But for how long?

“How do I stay?” She intwines her body with his, wrapping around him once more as the pleasure begins to wane. “Please tell me.”

Even as she speaks she can hear her voice fading, losing the sharp edge it had moments ago. The warmth of his body begins to lessen as well, even as she fights to bring herself as close to him as she can. She pulls her face out of his neck, meeting only the faintest of blue in his eyes this time. They dart over her face, his hands fisting in her dress, tugging her closer too. He is fighting as well. She opens her mouth again but no sound comes out, only a hiss of air as she tries to scream. Do not leave me! Tears pour down her cheeks and for once she does not try to stop them. For once there are more important things.

The room around her begins to blur, hazing in and out of focus. Her fingers slip against his hair, no longer able to hold onto him as he, too, fades. That does not stop her from trying to dig her way through the darkness to get him back. Even as the room begins spinning she keeps clawing at his body, searching for anything that she can latch onto. Any little bit of him that she has left. Her fingers catch on something cold and she wraps her fingers around it, saving it from the disintegrating world. She squeezes her eyes shut when everything blurs so fast that bile rises in her throat, the nausea being too much.

“I will find you.” It is the last she hears of his honey voice and, like everything else, she holds onto it, hoping it will be enough to permanently sear him into her memory.

When Y/n cracks her eyes open she is no longer in the room- she is on the back of Estrid’s carriage. She is shaking still, the last dregs of pleasure- the last reminder that it was real- fizzling out and mingling with the motion sickness. The rocking of the carriage does nothing to stave it, she has to rest her head against the metal to keep from wobbling off.

She blinks a few times, clearing the haze from her bones and the blinding light from her return to reality. When she does, she is almost as breathless as she was moments ago. Instead of the usual meadows that she has gotten used to seeing in the last few days, she is greeted with glittering golden towers. They rise all around her, reaching towards the sky like flowers reach for the sun. She has to hold her breath as she her eyes trace up their iridescent stems, dizzy at the mere thought of being at the very top. She has never been that high before. Well, besides this today. That can only mean one thing- she is in the capitol!

She cranes her neck, trying to absorb as much as it as she can. All around her are other carriages. For miles it had been only Estrid’s but now there are dozens, each one just as ornately decorated. Even more so. They are drawn by white stallions that huff at her when they pass, their muzzles ruffling like they have never smelt a servant before. She does not blame their caution- by the looks of things they are probably used to the finer things. She is quite the opposite. If she was a horse perhaps she would huff at herself as well.

The streets are immaculately decorated for the upcoming festivities. The pillars that line the streets are strung with scarlet and jade banners, the railings roped with gold silks. There are little stands selling candied fruits and chocolate. Along the festive streets people mingle in and out of the towers, dressed in fabric more colorful than she has ever seen before. It is the same golds and scarlets and jades that make up the decorations. It looks velvety and luxurious to the touch- perhaps almost as soft as his hair had felt in her hands.

She squeezes her fist at the thought, something hard biting into her palm. Her heart stops. The slight pain draws her focus away from the crowds- most of which she has noticed are comprised mainly of young women. It is incredible how many girls are trying their luck the same way Anna is. That is a thought for another time though, one when she is not preoccupied by magical phenomenon. She glances down at her palm. There is no way. She peels her fingers open slowly- anticipating the let down. She must be dreaming this- she must have dreamt it all.

But no, there it is, a little gold band with a deep set green emerald sitting atop her palm like a little reminder. Like a plea. It sparkles in the brilliant sun, warming on her skin. It calls to her in a voice so honeyed she flinches.

Come find me.

She peers back up at the towering city, her heart clenching. She wants to more than anything and she will do it- she knows she will. There is only one problem.

Where does she even begin to search?

[pfreadsandwrites]

congratulations on 100+ followers!!🥺❤️✨ bless you and your quality content ahhhh and thats a really good list of prompts there i actually had trouble picking one... but, since im truly a sucker for angst at heart, can i please have a number 15 with Kakashi?👀 please hurt me lmao thank you, and congrats once again!❤️

100 follower celebration

Yes, i used this mangacap. 

Anyway, ahh @enchantedpendant, I’m so sorry I’ve kept you waiting so long for this! I know you expressed excitement over me writing something angsty way back when I first began the celebration event and ugh I’m just sorry it’s taken so long. And thank you for your support as well. You’ve been so amazing and encouraging right from the start and I’m so grateful :) I really hope you like this... if ‘like’ is the correct word.

Oh - also, to the anon that also requested this exact prompt (great minds think alike, huh?) I’m planning on writing a different version for you! But yours is the penultimate or last one so I’m hoping this’ll tide you over in the meantime! 

This is my first piece after being unable to write for a while - forgive me if it’s rusty. I worked hard on this but I also struggled to all hell with it. It’s a circular-ish/montage-y piece. And I could have made it short, focusing on the scene itself, but I wanted this to have an emotional impact, ya know? I hope it worked! Please let me know what you think. Or if there are any mistakes.

warnings: character death, angst, miscarriage, sad feels all around, female reader, mild violence and sex mentions but nothing explicit, 2.9k

taglist: @madaras-housewife @datblobbyfish @praisingkuroosbedhead @allthingskakashi @enchantedpendant @ibukiirisha @cinam00n @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @tachibrii @drunkenfists

15. “Don’t die on me - please.”

Why did it always feel too soon, each time he let you go?

You remember it, the first time it happened. 

How could you not? Little, insignificant, as it might have been to some - to him, if he could convince himself - to you, it was momentous. Lasting only a second, where his calloused fingers had brushed against yours, softer than his, yes, but no less enduring. The normally aloof eye, the only one he seemed to show without hesitation, was intent, the obsidian endless in its depth. 

But - out of courtesy to him, or some kind of self-preservation - you’d paid it no mind. Or kept up that pretence, anyway. You found your footing as quickly as you’d lost it, stumbling away from his support no matter how reluctant you were to do so. The gratitude you’d muttered was enough and it seemed like you’d made the right choice; when that quietly shrewd eye of his turned away from you and his strong hands let you go in the same movement. He never let you bask in your own clumsiness, but that somehow made you feel worse. His nonchalance was excruciating. As if he hadn’t just saved you and made it look effortless. As if his touch alone hadn’t frozen you in place. 

As if it never happened at all. 

(It never should have happened at all.)

But still, you remember it. The moon’s luminosity the perfect backdrop, illuminating that wild silver hair as he turned away from you. 

(It was all so disgustingly poetic.)

It took longer than it should have for you to turn away in kind. But you did. Eventually. You made the awkward trek back to camp before him, the internal rambling of your self-berating your only company. It grew louder each time you looked back, stealing little glances against your own will.

It was so loud that you didn’t notice much else.

Not even Kakashi stealing glances back at you, for instance. 

***

Why did your breath hitch,  even when the air had never been more tranquil?

You remember. 

How he always did that, you still don’t know. Perfect timing, though you never appreciated just how perfect until he was gone again. 

(You should have learnt to count your blessings.)

Without a trace, and so quickly, unceremoniously, that the entire encounter might well have been a mirage. It still might have been.

(Maybe it’d been better that way.)

 You’d had enough. You didn’t think it through much further, and your desperation triumphed over your cautiousness as you sought out the bar exit. The mission, against all odds, was a success. And, against all better judgement, you were dragged along to the accompanying celebration. The atmosphere should have been infectious, you should have smiled more, you should have enjoyed yourself. 

Then again, you couldn’t find much to celebrate. Mistakes - your mistakes - had piled up. Your team completed the mission despite you, not because of you. The liability, not the heroine. 

(In hindsight, would it really have been so terrible if things ended for you there?)

You’d exhaled dramatically as you made your escape, a feeble attempt to expel all the guilt and shame you’d retained, or tried to retain, up until now. 

You still remember the lilt of his voice, smooth and somehow jovial, but never losing that gravelly undertone, as you walked around the corner. How could you ever forget it? No matter how lax he sounded, or tried to sound, the severity lurking underneath always cut you deep.

Are you alright, he’d asked, already knowing the answer. With that signature one-eyed smile, he pretended to believe your response. And you pretended, in turn, that his smile didn’t have had the effect on you it did. 

You didn’t exchange that many words as he walked you home, but somehow, it was enough. Though he was always careful with what he revealed, it was enough. He understood - much more than he let on, you suspected - but it was enough.

You didn’t hate yourself quite as much anymore, and - well, it wasn’t too much of a stretch - it didn’t seem like he hated you either. Something in the way his hand squeezed your shoulder, lingering for a moment, just before he saw you off. Was he reluctant to let go? 

Maybe. 

You slept better that night. 

You’d find out later, that, miraculously, Kakashi did too. 

***

Why did you feel so secure, sharing in all that suffering?

You remember.

(Why had you been so stupid?)

You’d almost dropped your flowers, when you saw him standing there, facing the memorial stone. It shouldn’t have been shocking; you’d heard gossip, in passing, about how much time he spent here. You’d also heard, in passing, how late he tended to be. Putting two and two together, you never held the latter against him. 

You understood, after all. You'd understood all the more as your eyes bore into his back. Something in the way he curled and uncurled his fists, the way he sighed, the way his straightened back gradually hunched. 

As far back as you could recall, your attitude to graveyards was… ambivalent. You’d avoid them whenever you could, not out of any tendency to be spooked or anything like that. You just couldn’t bring yourself to leave. It was peaceful, to be immersed somewhere so solemn, with such dense air - but the gravity of it also chained your feet there like an anchor. You knew each time you were there, regardless of your own volition, wouldn’t be the last. So if anyone were to empathise with this particular way he chose to punish himself, it was you.

(And now you would take it on twofold in his stead. What a joke.) 

“You don’t often come here,” he’d said quietly, matter-of-factly. Devoid of judgement, though he didn’t bother to face you. 

“No. I probably don’t spend as much time here as I should…,” your voice trailed off, and found new confidence, when you watched him stare at that stone. Hopelessly. You didn’t know all the details. But you didn’t need to. All you knew that it was simultaneously frustrating and pitiful. “And you probably spend too much.”

This time, he glanced back over his shoulder. You couldn’t exactly see through his mask, but he seemed… amused? “How do you figure that?”

“Call it a hunch.”

He chuckled, satisfied, and stepped back to give you room. “Then, I guess we balance each other out.”

“What a pair we are.” 

“Right. Well, I better-“

You still don’t know why you decided to grab his wrist that day, when he turned to leave. You still don’t know why you couldn’t bring yourself to let go, either. 

You still don’t know why Kakashi decided to stay. 

***

Why did you flit so rapidly from anger to elation, and why was it always because of him?

You remember.

In hindsight, it had been your fault. 

(What the fuck else was new?)

Retreat. Get out of here. It had been a simple order. But it had felt impossible, when the enemy appeared from behind, jutsu blaring, its raw power visible, that disgusting snarl on its wielders’ face - aiming for him.

You didn't think. You couldn’t think. You leapt in front of the attack within seconds, and your plan ended there. 

The same couldn’t be said for your captain. With his signature finesse, with a rare scowl - you couldn't tell who it was aimed at - you were moved away, and the enemy deflected, in the same movement. 

The battle had come to an end shortly after, through no fault of your own. It took all you had, but you bit your tongue as he scolded you, in front of your comrades, quietly healing your wound. 

You had acted for his sake. 

(How futile.)

Apparently, that meant nothing to him, not even worthy of acknowledgement. It wasn’t like you had expected gratitude - but for a man known for his stoicism to blow up, and because of you - it made you livid in turn. 

The journey back had been silent, seemingly just so you could bask in your own shame. 

So, when you were back in the sanctuary of your home, nursing your injury, your failure, and your pride - you hadn’t expected to hear a knock.

Nor had you expected him. Headband missing, brow furrowed and glaring at you in that way you couldn’t understand, much less accept. You’d made a mistake - of disobeying orders, of recklessness, of caring - but why the hell did he care in turn? 

“What?” You had hissed, unable to contain the outrage of his interruption of your little haven. Not that it made it any easier to look at him. “You’re here to admonish me again?”

“What the hell was that?” He growled in turn. “You disobeyed my orders and almost got yourself killed.”

“I-,” your voice shook, tears pricked your eyes - he was right, even if it pained you to admit it, but it wasn’t fair. The space between you had shrunk. He was so close now that you saw the rise and fall of his broad chest beneath his vest - apparently just as outraged as you. You had never seen him like this before. “Why are you so mad at me? I was just trying to - I thought-”

“Am I supposed to factor in every one of your impulses? Why did you do that?”

You remember how you heard his heartbeat, pounding - pounding just as loud as yours was. And it depleted your inhibitions. “Because - because you were in danger, you asshole!”

You remember how he had gently grabbed your injured wrist, just as you were about to shove him. You’d anticipated his reflexes, but you couldn’t have anticipated his expression, when you finally met his gaze. You remember how swiftly he’d pulled down his mask, but you couldn’t have anticipated just how breathtaking he’d be, either. Nor how it could feel when he kissed you - finally.

When Kakashi moved to pull away, of course, of course, you moved to pull him right back. 

 ***

Why did you always let him leave?

You remember.

(If you knew how it would end, you never would have let him. Better still, maybe you never should have let him enter in the first place.)

Safe.

You’d never felt so safe. 

When he’d appear and reappear at your apartment - the window, never the door, despite your half-hearted protests - waving with that stupid, adorable, one-eyed smile. He knew you’d saunter over, sliding it open with a matching grin, every time without fail. 

(You always did. That much, you did.)

When he’d laugh, when you told him about your mishaps. You’d laugh at his in kind - though it didn’t suit you, and you replaced it with your usual sympathetic ear. When you’d accompany him to the memorial stone, and pull him way just at the right time. When he’d pull you away, too. 

(What a fool.)

When he’d unmask himself around you, and you pretended not to notice, like it didn’t floor you. When you watched him struggle to decide whether he was relieved or offended. When he kissed you, in that indescribable way that wavered between tentative and determined, soft and powerful, usually choosing the perfect time to flit to the latter, making your knees buckle in the process.

(What a fool.)

When he’d undress you, and no matter how desperate he’d seem, how he always paused to take you in. When he’d move in you, filling your heart and body so much that you thought you might burst. When he’d hold you just that little bit closer, tighter, longer every time.

(What a fool.)

Even when he’d leave, sometimes after you’d fallen asleep, sometimes before - sometimes in the morning - when he’d leave for a day, a week, a month - you felt safe.

Because you knew, in the deep recesses of your heart, that each time you saw him wouldn’t be the last.

(What a fucking fool.)

You remember the first time he said it. Quietly, earnestly, unceremoniously. 

“I love you,” Kakashi had murmured into your ear one night, when he was so, so sure you were sleeping. 

***

Why did you ever dare think you had any cause for optimism?

You remember.

The two lines, glaring upwards and through you, from that unremarkable little piece of plastic. They’d ran parallel - you thought it apt, just like your trepidation and your excitement. The lines would never meet, though. 

(How apt.) 

You’d been happy. That was what had shocked you most, save only for the very fact of you being in this situation in the first place. But behind the fear, there it was. A little glow, a nucleus of hope and future nascent deep in your centre, spread through your heart and speckled to your fingertips, your face, your smile - that paired flawlessly with the little bundle of meaning, the combination of you and him budding in your belly. 

(Buds drop off before blooming all the time.)

You thought it’d be easy. 

(How stupid.)

You thought you could share it all with him right away. 

(You wished.)

But there was a part of you that faltered, when he’d show up at your window in that deceptively lax way. The words stuck in your throat, whenever he asked you if you were alright. The ease of his question didn’t match the weight of the truth. It almost felt… cruel. 

Maybe his fears would eclipse yours, and all that euphoria you’d harboured would dissolve. Maybe he’d be angry, though you suspected that even if he were, it’d be short lived. Maybe you’d end up keeping him from his duty. 

(Maybe you were just a coward.)

Regardless, your hands would float to your stomach whenever they weren’t occupied. Regardless, your mind would conjure up a future, remiss of your own will, an idyllic scene of a child, a marriage, something so sickly sentimental that you wanted to scold yourself. Regardless, it gave you hope.

It was enough, you’d decided. You'd get over it, face him and your fears, because what was waiting on the other side was so good that you’d forget that you had any in the first place. You’d do it. 

You’d tell Kakashi the next time you saw him. 

***

Why did it always feel too soon, each time he let you go?

You remember it, the last time it happens.

How could you not? The moon’s luminosity the perfect backdrop, incandescent, illuminating that wild silver hair, that crimson eye, that tired eye. His blood gleams under its splendour, under the green light that emanates fruitlessly from your delicate, shaking fingers. Softer than his, but no less enduring. 

It’s all so disgustingly poetic.

He refuses to scream, or shout - just whisper your name, in that restrained, ever-abiding tone. It’s never made you want to scream out more in his turn. You would have done anything to absorb it all in its stead. 

“What are you doing here?” he demands, as if he has the energy to. As if you can answer. As if you don’t see the wounds, the bloodshot-eyes, that compliance of his own mortality. His hand - the one that you were stupid enough to trust in, to think was strong - clenches around yours, calloused, then weakens, loosening its grip. He follows it with another impossible, familiar order. “Get out of here.”

“Shut up. Don’t die on me - please,” you beg, coughing up your words in between the sobs that spill forth, onto his face. The ache, the deep, sharp cramp in your hips, the agonising spark that spreads throughout your lower body, and you repeat your futile mantra two-fold.  

(It hurts. It hurts so much.)

“Y/N, I- I’m sorry,” he begins, moving to use his dwindling force to brush away your healing fingers, “it’s too late for that. Just get somewhere safe. Please.” 

“Shut up,” you repeat. You gasp hoarsely, reinforcing your grip. The pain deepens, in the pit of your throat, your heart, and in your womb, amalgamating together inextricably in some hellish concoction just for you and you alone. “Shut up.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. His eyes lid, and suddenly that scar never seems so cutting. It’s all so obvious. He just looks so tired, so… resigned. As if he’s been waiting for this. “I love you.”

“I love you too. So you can’t-”

“It’s over. You know it as well as I do.” 

Somewhere, somewhere deep down, you always knew. You knew, but never wanted to admit it. He’d made his peace with dying, long before you ever met, and you can’t hold him back any longer. It almost feels… cruel. 

(Not as cruel as him.)

His hand drops, dropping with a graceless thud against your damp thigh. “Y-you’re covered in blood. That’s all mine…?”

“Yes,” you lie, voice as thick as the mixture of blood and tears that stain both you and him. “Don’t worry about me.”

He stops - and you almost think he’s going to call you out, like he’s done so many times before. 

(You wish he would.)

You’ve never been able to dupe him. But instead, his eyes crinkle at the corners.

(You love him. You love him so much.)

He smiles that hidden smile, one last time. 

His fingers that fight with yours give up, one last time.

He whispers your name, one last time. 

Why did it always feel too soon, each time Kakashi let you go?

[missbugaboo]

Soulmate Scam (1)

Adrien knew who his soulmate was. Period. Ever since he'd first met her, ever since his heart had made that cheerful dance of recognition in hist chest, he'd had no doubt that she was the one – the only one – destined for him. If only said destiny didn't have other plans for him.

All sides of the love-square, though mostly Adrienette, SOULMATE AU.

fanfiction.net / AO3

Next chapter

Chapter 1: No One but Her

Adrien Agreste first dreamt of his soulmate on the very night of his sixteen birthday.

It wasn't anything too extraordinary – it was commonly known that the vision of one's significant other half was bound to appear in one's sleep sometime during the last week preceding or the first week following their birthday. The fact that it was also universally acknowledged that it rarely happened on the night of said birthday (and that the probability of it actually happening was lower that once in fourteen times, as a simple calculus might suggest) made no difference. It wasn't irregular, it wasn't surprising. It wasn't unnatural, either.

It was a little unusual, that's all.

Now, Adrien knew all that. He'd heard various theories about soulmates as he grew up, even though the topic surely wasn't a favourite in his own household. Still, he had friends, and ones that were all eager to discuss the matter with him. Whether it was a four year old Chloe or a fourteen year old Nino (or Chloe again, as her interest in the subject had never quite seemed to cease) didn't matter much. The subject was intriguing, exciting, mysterious; it sparked interest in everyone he knew, even if they were not at all willing to admit it to their classmates like Alix or Max or even Chloe at some point.

How come Chloe was a representative for all the examples his mind brought on?

Well, that didn't really matter, either. The facts were: he was very much into the idea of soulmates. His friends were into the idea of soulmates, too.

And that was not unusual at all.

Of course, the romantic in Adrien clung to the idea, imagining the moment when he would finally learn his significant half's identity. Even as a kid – or maybe especially then? - he found the idea of this half-magical bond alluring, both because of its supposed power over people's life and the mystery that it was still wrapped in. He was probably the only child on Earth who could successfully beat little Chloe in regard of enthusiasm, and one of a very few who did not lose their drive as they stepped into adolescence.

Where others faked indifference, he showed that he was thrilled; while they gave in to fear and anxiety, he spoke about his faith. He wouldn't let the anxiety take over him and extort the joy of wait, and he certainly had no intention of allowing the fear to dictate him his steps.

Which, considering the talk he'd had with his father at the wee age of eight, was a miracle of its own.

And yet, it would be a lie to say that his view on the subject did not change during the years. Not in terms of excitement – that part was a constant, even if the outer indications of it had at some point became more low-key (and well, this time it was Gabriel Agreste's advice at work). The change had nothing to do with age or his classmates' view on the topic and certainly not with the teasing (or cynical) remarks he'd heard from those older and supposedly more mature than him.

Like the ones given by Audrey Burgeois whenever Chloe asked her about it.

No, the real alteration lay somewhere else and though his friends couldn't have said where if they tried to, Adrien had no problem determining it.

He knew.

He knew who his soulmate was. Period. Ever since he'd first met her, ever since his heart had made that cheerful dance of recognition in hist chest, he'd had no doubt that she was the one – the only one – destined for him. No matter how many times she rejected him, he kept believing that it was only a matter of time before she understood the connection and realised what he'd known since day one. He hoped with all his being that she would not need an actual dream to tell her that, but if worse came to worst, he would accept that scenario as well.

As long as she chose him in the end.

That didn't mean he hadn't spent the two weeks preceding his birthday being giddy with excitement, so much that even his father had taken notice of that. Gabriel didn't say much on the subject, obviously, except the casual question of whether Adrien was feeling fine or if maybe his flushed cheeks and starry gaze were in fact an indication of a nearing fever. The boy denied quickly; and yet, he didn't dare go as far as to summon the real reasons for the change in his appearance, even though that meant being sent to bed early in a way of precaution.

He knew all too well how his father reacted to the mere mentions of soulmates.

So he had nodded and followed suit. He'd made sure he acted calmly, both in and out of the house, just to make sure he wouldn't provoke any more questions of the sort. He'd almost started to hope that his father had once again forgotten when his birthday actually was.

And so it had gone on for six long days, during which he'd unconsciously ensured that his behaviour at school was just as indifferent as it was at home. Since he had never made a big deal of sharing any details about his hopes with his classmates, the change was not as noticeable as it might have appeared to be. Nino was surprised but said nothing; Alya teased him with a few comments, but did nothing but that. And as for Marinette...

Well, Marinette had seemed to be a bundle of nerves since the beginning of the week, going from pensive to excited to combative in a matter of minutes sometimes.

He really hoped she was alright.

Still, no matter how much he cared for her, how much he valued her friendship and wanted to prove himself worthy of it, he couldn't bring himself to focus on her state more than on the event he was nearing. Had he had any reasons to believe she was unwell, he would have looked into it no doubt. However, he'd known her for too long not to be able to distinguish real trouble and hurt from what was nothing but confusion on her part.

It was clearly the latter that was happening this time, and Alya's words only confirmed that.

It was fine.

So it seemed to him, anyway. On the night before his birthday he was as agitated as ever, or – since it was the first time when he allowed himself to open up a little about it – even more so. He was eager, he was enthusiastic, he was ready to take on the world. He did feel a little nervous, which was also a first (and probably the reason why it came as such a surprise to him, as predictable as it was) and which was quickly reflected in the way he moved and spoke.

There was edginess in his step as he paced around his room; there was a frown on his forehead and a trembling of his hands.

And yet, none of these could compete with the hope and happiness that filled his soul and fuelled his heart, radiating from his whole silhouette regardless of the anxiousness mentioned above.

It was truly miraculous that he was not glowing in a literal sense yet.

"Oh, will you just go to bed already?" Plagg whined loudly as he munched on his piece of cheese and grimaced at the boy before him. "Seriously kid, you don't even know that you will dream of her tonight. Nobody said it would be on your birthday, and even if, I'd say tomorrow still counts as your birthday night. So calm down, will you?"

"You know that I can't" Adrien answered, with mixture of joy and apprehension ringing in his voice. "It's too great to just push it aside. It's too much and too soon and yet, not nearly soon enough..."

"I swear to Fu, Adrien, you say one more word and I'll throw up all the cheese I've had today," the kwami retorted. "You really are taking it too far."

"I am not," Adrien denied. "Oh, come on, it's the most important night of my life! You could be at least a little more understanding for once."

"I've been more than understanding for the past two weeks. We both know that this fake indifference you displayed in front of Nathalie only worked because you felt you could take it out on me twofold as soon as she was gone. I haven't stopped you, I haven't complained – no more than I usually do, anyway. Still, even my patience has boundaries and no amount of cheese can move them any further."

"Now that's new. I thought your love of cheese conquered all."

"Somehow, it fails to help with a teenage-love-caused nausea."

To that Adrien only laughed, before throwing himself down on the coach and reaching up to scratch Plagg behind the ear fondly. The little creature bristled and wiggled, pretending not to be moved by the affectionate gesture... and then gave in to it completely, purring contentedly in the same way he always did.

Adrien's grin widened at the sight.

"Come on now, I'm not that annoying, am I?" he asked cheerfully as he continued to stroke Plagg's ears and chin. "Also, I bet I'm not the only Chat Noir who fell in love with Ladybug."

"As if that made it any better," Plagg muttered in response. "Seriously, I don't know what it is about that spotted costume that makes you boys lose your minds before you even have a chance to have a proper talk with her. It's unhealthy."

"Oh?" Adrien hummed, amused. "So not only am I not the first to fall for her in general, it's also an all-cats tendency for it to happen soon. Somehow, I feel relieved."

"Before it gets to your head, you should know that your was still a record time. As I said: unhealthy."

"Or maybe simply romantic?" Adrien let out a long, dreamy sigh. He kicked off his shoes and stretched on the coach comfortably, before continuing. "Also, how could I not have fallen in love with her? It's not because she has made some great entrance and swept me off my feet all at once. In fact, she was the opposite of that: clumsy and insecure, a little awkward and surely lacking faith in her own skill. Hell, she was practically drowning in all that self-doubt.... And yet, that didn't stop her from trying hard."

"You mean, she delayed her great entrance for a day and then impressed you twice as much as she would have otherwise."

"You can laugh all you want, I know what I felt," once again, Adrien contradicted him. "And that 'delay', as you call it, wasn't something she'd planned – it was a natural reaction on her part but then it only showed how deep her courage truly ran. How much she had to struggle, how difficult it was to accept that new, crazy path Master Fu had chosen for us... And still, she did accept that. Now, if that's not impressive, I really don't know what is."

This time, Plagg only sighed.

"There really is no talking you out of this one, is there?" he asked wearily, even though his tiny lips were curved in a small smile. "Gosh, you really are hopeless."

"I do care for her, Plagg," the boy lying next to him responded, his own voice having a new seriousness to it. "I know it seems silly. It probably was at first: a shallow crush, derived directly from my being amazed by what she did that day, contradicting Hawkmoth despite her own fears. But even if it was... It's been almost three years now. We became friends, and partners, and... so much more, even if still refuses to see it in a romantic light. She is my soulmate, Plagg. There's no one else that could take that role but her."

"And what if you're wrong?" Plagg suggested quietly.

Adrien shook his head. "I can't be. It's just not an option, not when even the Guardian of the Miraculous called us one another's yin and yang."

"Except in this case the yin and the yang may remain platonic and still work just fine."

For the first time in week's Adrien felt the kind of anxiety that was not accompanied by the usual enthusiasm and faith. His brow furrowed as he gazed up at his friend, his heart speeding up while his blood ran cold; his jaw tightening unconsciously as he thought it over in his mind.

"You can't really mean that."

Once again, Plagg sighed, and flew closer to the boy's side.

"Look, I don't want to scare you here," he explained evenly. "I'm not saying that you should give up on her, or that you should lose all faith and resign yourself to a life with some random girl who will surely take her place. I don't know if she'll appear in your dreams today – heck, we can't even be sure if it really will be today. But that's what this whole thing is about, Adrien: no one can be certain about this thing until it's actually happened. I know how you feel about her; I know you want your special dream to confirm what you've believed so far. And you know that I want you to be happy."

"So where's the hatch?" Adrien asked.

"No hatch. I just... I just want you to make room for a possibility where it's not Ladybug who turns out to be your other half. So that you're at least in some way prepared if that's the case. Can you promise me to try that?"

Adrien's reply wasn't an immediate one. Quite the opposite: the boy seemed to be taking full advantage of the time he had, staying silent for as long as appeared proper to him – and then a little longer than that. Motionless, he lay like he did before, with only his eyes shifting; and even they remained fixed on one spot on the ceiling, after he'd looked away from Plagg's solemn face.

Because that was no light matter.

Adrien was well aware of that, of course. It wasn't that his buoyant demeanour was an act, or that it was his way of fighting the fears that had somehow found way to the very core of his vulnerable heart. He wasn't hiding behind it – simply because he had already faced those fears a long time ago.

How could he not have, with Ladybug rejecting him so many times so far? He might have been naive to some, but he wasn't stupid for sure. He wasn't selfish, either, and for that reason he simply had to consider a situation in which his Lady did not respond to his affection, no matter how many dreams of one another they'd shared.

She meant everything to him – he wasn't going to throw himself at her if she was certain she couldn't love him back.

No matter how much the mere thought of it hurt him.

"I just can't imagine it being anyone but her," he said softly (a little longingly) at last. "I know it still might be. Someone I've never thought of before or maybe even someone I haven't even met yet. But it's like... it's something the logical part of me realises, while the more emotional side screams to forget it as something completely absurd. My brain tells me to keep my options open; my heart calls me a traitor for even considering that."

He rolled over to his stomach and rested his chin on his folded arms. "So yes, I do have room for such a possibility. And if my soulmate turns out to be someone who isn't Ladybug, I promise you to do my best to know her and to love her, even if it's in a very different way. I just -"

He stopped abruptly; then he pressed his face against his arms and muttered, "I just pray to God that I don't have to."

Again, silence fell on the room, with nothing but the sound of the two of them breathing to disturb it. It was Plagg's turn to caress his Chosen, with a gentle touch of his little paw brushing the cheek of the boy he was supposed to protect. Adrien smiled weakly at the display and turned his head a bit, just enough to be able to see the kwami with more than his mind's eye.

"You really should just go to bed, you know," Plagg murmured with his usual fatigue. "Otherwise you'll fall asleep right here and then wake up from discomfort in the middle of your most important night. And you wouldn't want to do that halfway through that soulmate dream, would you?"

"I sure would not," Adrien agreed readily. He lifted himself up and jumped off the coach in one swift movement, yawning and stretching as he stood up. "I still need a shower though – which is all the more annoying if I think it may actually chase my sleepiness away. And not being able to fall asleep, tonight of all nights... Now, that would be far worse than the disrupted sleep you mentioned before."

"Well, I'd say the amount of sleep you've been getting lately is the best guarantee of good rest tonight," Plagg offered derisively. "You hardly slept at all because of your excitement, it should have been enough to wear you out."

Adrien couldn't help but yawn again.

"You're right. It has," he admitted. "Alright, shower it is. Then I'm gonna go straight to bed, tuck myself in and just relax. That should be an invitation enough for my body and mind to feel the sleepiness as well, right?"

And then he was off, determined not to lose another minute of this very precious time. He was back in no time, calm and warmed up, more than ready to face the destiny that – he was sure of it – was finally going to show its face to him that night.

It was a few minutes past ten when he reached his bed at last; it was half past when he finally fell asleep. His dream came to him at three, at the darkest hour and the most trying time.

And when the sun showed itself some time around five...

...it found him sitting up abruptly, with a cold sweat flowing down his neck and his big green eyes wide with shock and fright.

Because he hadn't dreamt of Ladybug that night.

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

Surviving in a Different Medium: The Struggles of Making a Comic Book Movie

There have been live-action film adaptations of just about everything under the sun, from video games to cartoons, to books, to television shows, heck, even to amusement park rides or board games.  While some adaptations can turn out some….less-than-great products (Street Fighter, Inspector Gadget, Dune), other adaptations tend to do fairly well, such as adaptations like Jaws, The Princess Bride, or Forrest Gump.

Not all adaptations are created equal.  Some source materials are simply easier to adapt to the big screen, such as novels.  Others, like cartoons, are considerably harder to turn into a coherent, movie-length story.  But none of these, it would seem, pose quite the challenge that is the balancing act of a comic-book adaptation.

Comic book movies are odd in that, when they are successful, they are extremely so, but when they aren’t, they’re really bad.   For every major hit, there has been twice as many misses, (up until recent years).  For every Superman, there is a Supergirl.  For every Batman, a Catwoman looms.  For every Blade, there’s a Steel.

And that’s not even mentioning the sequels, or heaven forbid, Howard the Duck.

When you think about it, it’s kind of odd that studios should have so much trouble with what seems like a very simple task: cast actors who look like comic characters, take a story from a comic, and make a movie.  The plot and characters are already there.  All the filmmakers have to do is make a movie out of it, right?

Easier said than done.

Wait a minute, you might say.  I’m not blind.  Have you seen Marvel’s film roster over the past ten years?  They’ve been very successful!  And what about Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy?  Or Wonder Woman?

Admittedly, comic book films have been far more successful (and respected) in recent years than they have been in the past.  This is a good thing.  It means filmmakers are learning.  But by the same token, even in this new age of comic book blockbusters, there are some films that haven’t done so well.  The Fantastic Four.  Green Lantern.  Daredevil.  Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice.  

The question is, why?  Like I said, a comic book movie seems like it’d be much easier to do than a board-game film.  Comic books themselves are practically story boards.  What is so hard about lifting a comic onto the big screen?  Or, put another way:

How can comic books survive in a different medium, specifically live-action film?

That’s the question we’re going to be answering today, particularly as it pertains to superhero films.  Let’s take a look.

Comic books are, by nature, visual novels.  They are stories told through pictures as much as words, typically full of larger-than-life characters or situations that are nearly impossible to replicate on-screen.  You can do anything with comics.  The sky is the limit.  The creativity of the illustrator (and author) are the rule-makers in the universe of comics.  It is due to this unlimited creativity that villains such as Stilt-Man can exist, or heroes like Spider-Ham.  The costumes or abilities of characters are not governed by what can realistically be shown the audience.  They are governed by what the artist is able to draw.

Already, we’ve stumbled upon problem number one.

When adapting a comic to film, already, something has been lost: the freedom of visual style.  Comic characters have the benefit of being drawn by different artists, in distinctive styles, with costumes or abilities that are difficult to be done with on screen.  For this reason, many costumes for film adaptations end up changed for practicality reasons, such as any version of the Wonder Woman ensemble, or Scarlet Witch’s costume.  The recent adaptation of Captain America redesigned the look for a less-goofy design, and even the Batman costume, while remaining one of the most accurately depicted, has had a few changes in order to function on a movie set.

The realistic nature of live-action also cuts down on the heroes and villains that are usable.  Batman, the Joker, and the majority of his Rogues Gallery are able to be adapted to film with relative ease, as their gimmicks, while outlandish, don’t require an inordinate amount of special effects.  On the other hand, Marvel villains such as M.O.D.O.K. are far more difficult to replicate without it looking unrealistic or overly disturbing.  This is the primary reason that of Superman’s villains, only Lex Luthor has adapted well to the big screen: he is the most human, and therefore, the easiest to do realistically.

The problems with adaptation don’t lie merely in the visuals, however.  More difficult (and important) is the translation of character.

Comic book characters, specifically superheroes, are big and bold, with personalities to match.  On top of that, especially in older comics, characters were typically stagnant.  Up until more recent years, there wasn’t a whole lot of development, so readers weren’t confused if they happened to miss a few issues.  On top of that, thanks to the different iterations of each character, trying to find the ‘definitive’ version to adapt can be challenging, especially with all the alternate timelines, clones, and other odd occurrences that can make for new methods of storytelling with the same characters.  These methods, while good for comic readership, don’t make for easy, accessible adaptations for wider audiences.

As a result, we can get films like Man of Steel, where interpretations of the character are wildly different from traditional comic canon, or the change for Tim Burton’s Batman to disregard the ‘no-kill’ rule that has been widely accepted as a trait of the character.  To create a distilled version of a character, some traits have to be changed, or removed altogether.  The problem comes with how this is done, trying to make it work within the context of the character, and the context of the story you are telling.

So, to successfully adapt a comic book character, we’ve addressed that you need to change both the personality somewhat, and the look, if casual audiences are to enjoy the film version of this character.  While doing this, you must also balance the existing, canon character most traditionally viewed, ensuring that you do not alienate the already-existing fans by changing the character too drastically.  It’s a tough balance, but it’s one that more and more filmmakers are hitting, and have been since Christopher Reeve first donned the Superman cape in 1978.   But there’s more to comics than just the characters.

The stories have to be changed too.

In recent years, superhero blockbusters have become bigger and bigger spectacles, with the world (or the universe) at stake.  Some of these stories are original to the filmmakers, taking well-known villains and heroes and creating their own story.  Others, on the other hand, try to compress comic-book storylines into movie form, and therein lies problem number three, if anyone’s keeping count.

The issue with adapting the plot of a superhero comic is twofold: format and pacing, and nature and scope.  In the first of these two problems, the problem is very simple: movies don’t have the time for it.

In a comic series, a storyline can have several issues to play out, as demonstrated by The Dark Phoenix Saga, Snowbirds Don’t Fly, and The Dark Knight Returns.  In arcs like these, it can take several issues for a plot to be wrapped up, and in cases like Infinity Gauntlet, these stories are so vast that they are practically impossible to adapt into one concise film without leaving anything out.  As a result, the scissors come out.

In a lot of these cases, such as Marvel’s Infinity War/Endgame films, stories are condensed in order to fit into one (or two) films.  Subplots and characters are cut, things are switched around, and sometimes, the final result is very different from the original comic.  This is the risk of adaptation, no matter what format, but for comics, there’s a little more to it than that.

The nature of comic book stories is very eye-catching, expansive, larger-than-life.  The dialogue is typically over the top (either campy or dark), the comics are full of action scenes, (nobody wants to read a comic about a bunch of people standing around and talking) and the stakes are grand, the action grander.  The visuals of comics are a large part of what draws people to them, and so it’s for the best that they’re big and bold.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t exactly translate the best to live-action film.

Except in cases like Batman from 1989 and the original Superman film from 1978, most comic book films have a very hard time pulling off the ‘campy’ feeling from the comics while also being a genuinely good film.  Straddling the line between keeping the same tone from the comics while making sure it works in the context of the film is tough, with most subsequent films going too far either way.  Either a film becomes so over-the-top campy that it’s impossible to take it seriously (Batman & Robin, Superman IV, the original Captain America attempt), or so gritty that it can be alienating (Man of Steel, Batman Returns, Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice).  While both extremes have their fans, most fans seem to be the happiest with a balance, again, a balance that’s hard to achieve, especially when you’re working with caped crusaders and flying people in tights.

When it’s put like this, it can seem almost impossible to make a good comic book movie, especially by the time you work in a script, actors that might work, and actually begin shooting the thing.  It seems like an uphill battle.  But there is good news.

Like I said, since 1978, superhero films based on comics have been hit or miss, but recently, there’s been more hits than misses.  Besides the original Superman and Batman films, there are newer endeavors like the MCU and Wonder Woman, Aquaman and Shazam, all of which are proving that live-action superhero films can be done, and done well, by achieving that balance.  There will always be misses, but the odds of filmmakers understanding the delicate stability of the elements to making comic book films are looking better with every passing movie.

The secret to helping comic books survive in a different medium is a blend of styles and focus, everything from the visuals to the characters.  That’s it.  There’s no secret tip or trick, nothing that the filmmakers are ‘overlooking’, very simply, the secret to a good comic book film is just knowing what to keep and what to leave out, which can vary from project to project.  Some films operate better as darker, more serious films.  Some thrive on the ‘campy’ source material.  Some movies work better with changes made to the characters, others succeed far better with a more accurate portrayal of the characters.  It depends on the individual story, characters, and even filmmakers.  There’s no manual to make a movie a success, no matter the source material.

In short?

For a comic book to survive as a live-action film adaptation, the people behind it must have understanding and respect for the source material, combined with an understanding of both mediums involved.  When you have the respect already in place, and the desire to make a good movie, the rest doesn’t seem quite so impossible.  

Thank you guys so much for reading!  Don’t forget that the ask box is always open for questions, discussions, suggestions, recommendations, or conversations.  I hope to see you in the next article.

[cyclechicks]

Best Electric Motor Scooters for Adults

The Best Electric Scooters For Adults In 2020

On the off chance that you are here scanning for more data on the top electric bike for grown-ups, Be educated that you are exactly at the correct spot. Anyway, you think individuals zooming around on electric bikes appears to be cool? 

Indeed, you are not by any means the only one — in light of the fact that there are numerous fanatics of mechanized electric bikes that are yet to purchase and attempt this great game for obviously better practice alongside likewise an option in contrast to open vehicle.

Finding a grown-up electric bike could be for an assortment of reasons. They are anything but difficult to learn and perfect, simple to amass, and offers incredible versatility. Beside that, these pleasant rides are phenomenal for any age. For children, young people, and adults — the mechanized bike is the identical joy.

In This article all things considered, we'll adhere to the grown-up electric bikes which Are uncommonly intended for adults to cruise with, and stay away from open Transport. 

First We'll list down the main 10 items dependent on our Research and experience, at that point we will give you our top picks, and Last yet not the least, we will endeavor to answer a portion of your normal inquiries. Along these lines, with no extra ado, how about we get serious. To buy these, visit Geekwake.

1. Convenient And Folding Commuter Electric Scooter

Number 1 on our rundown is Glion Dolly Foldable Commuter Electric Scooter and there are numerous purposes behind it.

No doubt one of the most significant things to look for in mechanized bikes for adults is its own battery pack. This top electrical collapsing bike for Private vehicle has one of the best battery pack you may see in the business today. Indeed, we're discussing the premium 36V, containing 18650 cells and 30 Sony NMC.

Fundamentally, these Technical specs mean you will appreciate for a constant working time of 3.25 hours. Glion Dolly Foldable Commuter collapsing bike incorporates a speedy Charging time too.

The motor inside this ride is actually an It is incredibly quiet, which implies that you can even wander around within your home without really upsetting anybody.

The brakes Can likewise be found in the engine, which can be antilock kind and requires zero support. The pace of the ride is quite incredible as well — you can go at 15 mph and dazzle everyone around you. On a solitary charge, you may utilize this heavenly collapsing bike for at any rate 15 miles.

Why We Liked It – The way that you can ride for a constant 3.25 hours is Something very cool. Beside the super slowing mechanism with zero Maintenance likewise grabbed our eye. 

By and large, Glion Dolly Foldable For a couple of abundance zooms in her or his life. On the off chance that you're searching for the absolute best Electric bike accessible available — this may very well be it. For more, click here.

2. Qiewa Q1Hummer

In case you're a fanatic of solid, Army structure products, you're going to adore the Qiewa Q1Hummer from tires to the general system, everything about this excursion is conspicuous.

With ground-breaking 800 Watts lithium-particle batteries, this guarantees you go undisturbed and with no worry of reviving for in excess of 100 km. That is a significant distance truly — what it implies that you can ride on it the whole day and there will even now be some juice left in t.

The twofold safeguard with this collapsing bike is very much designed. You can ride it on practically any landscape and you won't feel the knocks and unpleasantness. The drive speed of 55 kph is incredible also, making it the top electric excursion for driving.

The organization affirms that this ride could be collapsed in 2 Seconds, which is extraordinary considering the tough plan it's. This general size of this cooter, when it's been collapsed is just 3 unusual feet. You can without much of a stretch put it under your vehicle's seat and revel in the ride where you go.

On the off chance that you are searching for somebody interesting, that is fit for stopping people in their tracks at the recreation center — a while later, Qiewa Q1Hummer Electric Scooter ought to be your decision.

The features don't complete here this stunning Grownup collapsing bike incorporates first class plate slows down that are powerful at forestalling numerous wounds and unexpected knocks. Beside that you additionally get the decision of USB cell phone charging on this excursion.

Why We Liked It – Qiewa Q1Hummer is loaded up with various stunning highlights. Nearly Everything about this excursion is perfect. Qualities like plate brakes, brake Lighting, strength, durable battery alongside the watertight plan make we begin to look all starry eyed at this electrical excursion for driving. This costs up to $2000.

3. UberScoot 1600 Electric Scooter For Commuting

Do You appreciate transformers notwithstanding a fanatic of bikes? You basically can't stand to miss this one thereafter. UberScoot has impeccably consolidated that thick mechanical like body with all the contemporary highlights in UberScoot $1600 for Commuting.

The battery on this mammoth is a 48 V, 1600 W brushless one. For a lower wattage, at that point attempt the UberScoot 1000w world class electric bike.

Riders Also have the decision to pick the economy mode to spare vitality while trading off only a little on the rate. Despite the fact that the grown-up bike UberScoot 1600 for Commuting is a tremendous ride yet it could be collapsed effectively and adjusted anyplace. It turns into your optimal friend wherever you go.

The battery on this develop bike is adequate to proceed Provided that 12 mph, contingent on the heaviness of the rider and the sort of territory.

front and backdrop illumination alongside the adaptable and removable seat makes this ride one of the extremely favored of genuine riders.

The sticker price connected to this Item is Slightly higher however when you contrast this and all the highlights it has on offer — it is intelligent.

Why We Liked It — Starting from the structure, the long battery life and agreeable. For more visit, Geekwake.

4. Razor E200 Electric Commuter Scooter

As of now examined, it is difficult to keep Labor out of the challenge for a really long time. On number 4 we currently have still another progressive item from the bike monster — the Razor E200 Electric Commuter Personal transportation Scooter.

The best part concerning this drive is its ultra-quiet, chain-driven motor. Riding on this ride is long periods of fun and that additionally without upsetting anybody around you. 

The hand turn grasp on the holds gives additional immovability and that full inclination important for genuine riders. The chain-driven engine ensures rapid of 12 mph, which is sufficient for even proficient riders. This drive for grown-ups has an enduring seal battery of 24 V.

E200 incorporates a solid kickstand to the side, guiding on the grasps and tough pneumatic tires for this ultra-smooth ride. The get together of this ride is simple and everything is incorporated and clarified in the bundle. 

The battery charger included may charge the battery from 0 — 100 percent in a couple of hours. Be that as it may, for the absolute initially run, it is prescribed to control the battery complete, which may take as long as 12 hours.

For more visit, Geekwake.

Razor is demonstrated to join top notch material with the most recent in innovation — with Razor E200 Electric Commuter Scooter, The organization has satisfied the expectation. 

The whole size deck and the casing are made out of this hardest material you'll find in hurries. This permits the riders to have a ton of fun without stressing over harming their excursion.

Why We Liked It — There are such a significant number of things to appreciate about this thing. Originates from the business head itself, besides, the ride is so smooth And calm you will before long become hopelessly enamored with the Razor E200 Adult Smooth make makes this drive the most sturdy in its alliance.

5. Super Turbo Elite 36v Electric Scooter

Super Turbo has been in the organization of making top class toys and rides for a long while now. The organization has a past filled with creating solid and "begin to look all starry eyed at" kind of rides for quite a long time. The Super Turbo Elite 36v is one such item that is made for some genuine delight.

Is among the most tough and rough excursion you will discover in the commercial center at this point. It might persevere to 250 lbs of weight on smooth territory. 

On the off chance that you append an extra adornment (the mountain unit) it can hold up under as much as 350 pounds of weight. Along these lines, regardless of how substantial you're, in the event that you love electric hurries, this ride is for you!

Talking about the rate, this ride may go Up to 26 miles (contingent on the kind of landscape and the rider's weight). The turbo and market button on the dark Super Turbo Elite 36v makes this ride entirely adaptable. 

For example, on the off chance that you need more speed, you may simply turn the turbo style on — in the event that you need the battery to last more, the market is the choice for you. Regardless of what your necessities are, this sail has every arrangement.

Contingent upon the rider's weight, the sort of landscape alongside the elective picked, the battery over the dark Super Turbo 1000w electric kick bike can proceed insofar as 18 mph. 

The seat on this one is additionally very agreeable, customizable, and removable moreover. Riders are presently ready to sit on the off chance that they wish to or simply evacuate the seat and remain as they ride around the play area intriguing the group. 

Incorporates availability to different how-to life support on building and segments help. Electric bikes with seat qualities are extremely well known for workers for clear reasons.

Why We Liked It – To be straightforward this drive has everything a rider can request. From Tough and solid structure to smooth long ride, the Super Turbo Elite 36v Electric Scooter is something which you will consistently be pleased with.

For more, click here.

[quicklyuniquetheorist-blog1]

Who Is Misleading Us About Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House? New Questions About Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House

ar.wikipedia.org شركة رش مبيدات حشرية في جدة What You Must Know About Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House and Why The 5-Minute Rule for Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House All you have for you to do is to squirt in the vicinity associated with your house to make a hidden barrier of protection. Solution sprays could perhaps be residual or even non-residual and are simple in order to use in addition to apply. Suspensión sprays may be used to kill bugs on call, though quite a few products also work as a residual spray which could experience up to three several weeks with regard to indoors use and even up to 12 months for patio places. A good bug spray which is manufactured in a suspensión bottle of spray is a good incredibly good selection for insect handle as it delivers an individual a twofold approach to help insect extermination. While parasite tools can control recent bugs in your household and the ones of which want to enter your particular website, here are quite a few tips for using some sort of bug squirt and to help proceed to keep your property free from creeping and flying bugs. Inside supplement, for advantage of a chemically-based frustrate spray, and have kids and even pets, the spray needs to be left to dry on surfaces prior to it is usually possible to allow little ones and pets back in the area. If a person would somewhat choose a entirely organically-based bug spray gowns completely free from chemical compounds, it's possible to however be confirmed of a new high insect get rid of amount. What You Don't Know About Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House Sprays can usually end up being employed on your house animals also. Before you employ the spray, make sure you read through the included booklet, particularly if you are likely to help use the product intended for controlling bug on the animals. If you avoid need to get worried together with something that you must spray, then that object may well be the perfect answer for you. EcoSMART Vegetation spray is designed to be utilized in dog's kennels and just about all over the garden. Organically-based insect sprays came really a distance and therefore are astoundingly capable of killing discrepancies. Several sprays are designed to kill a good collection of insects like roaches, spiders, bed bugs, in addition to other sorts of crawling bugs, though a few sprays are usually especially designed for selected kinds of bugs, love bed bugs or wasps. Republic of chile cayenne pepper insecticide spray Similar to garlic oil spray, chile pepper apply is some sort of big homemade 100% natural pest repellent that could be used for many unique pests. Make specific to read products' fine produce with pride and make certain that insecticides defintely won't be combined. They can be private while residual or nonresidual, some sort of general indication regarding how well the insecticide will remain energetic soon after it has been used. They are a sort of pesticide utilized for you to specifically target and ruin insects. There are loads of reasons you could pick a liquid insecticide. All of our liquid insecticides have to be able to be combined with water prior to use, and are best with regard to making a outside hurdle around your house. Many people work nicely for this because they make it better to create an even hurdle of insecticide all the particular way around your home. Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House Secrets That No One Else Knows About If you've got some sort of particularly lousy infestation, you might also need to place money into choice models of pest control, as an indoor plug-in pest repeller or hanging strips. Examine to understand that the insect is listed. It's also perfect for harming stinging pesky insects outside your property and the high-powered product makes it quite simple to target insects that will settle down into in hard to reach areas. Today, there are lots of techniques for wiping out ants completely in a very protected and dependable means. Mantis is a great business rank concentrate that's used by huge organic growers using an really low dilution amount, thus it's a very inexpensive solution as a single bottle makes between fourth there’s 16 and thirty two gallons involving spray answer that will definitely endure many months. How to Choose Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House Just because an item carries the prospect regarding harm, does not reveal the idea cannot be made use of carefully. This item is definitely non-staining and is safe for proper use on an assortment associated with materials. So in synopsis, not only hold the products changed, but in improvement the manner in which these kinds of are applied, which makes the idea a lot more safer general specifically for children. Make certain that often the pesticide name signals that the product could be used indoors. Even better, the item is offered in many measurements, coming from four ounces as much as some sort of single gallon, and that means you are able to start out small when you simply wish to verify the spray. There will be a number of insecticide models which also work as a pesticide. The Fight Against Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House An option is to be able to generate a homemade insecticide to kill and prevent infestation infestations. It can be the best option for men and women who also want a quick working and naturally-occurring, botanical insecticide. Plugging them throughout outside the house or within the particular home is expected to proceed in order to keep insects away from place. Others are meant regarding used in the house at the place where they can treat eggs, larvae, pupae and grownups alike. Mixture only the amount which in turn you should for each and every application.

[offlinebikemap-blog]

Who Is Misleading Us About Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House? The 5-Minute Rule for Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House

ar.wikipedia.org شركة رش مبيدات حشرية في جدة What Does Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House Mean? The Hidden Gem of Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House All you have to do is to bottle of spray in the vicinity of your house to make a hidden barrier of protection. Liquid sprays could quite possibly be residual as well as non-residual and are simple to use in addition to use. Pulverizador sprays could be used to kill glitches on speak to, though quite a few products work as a new residual spray that may endure up to three a few months with regard to inside use together with up for you to 12 months for backyard parts. A new bug spray which grouped together in a good aerosol squirt is the unbelievably perfect selection for pest handle as it delivers an individual a twofold approach in order to insect repellent. While pest sprays can control current insect pests in your household and the ones the fact that want to your private website, here are quite a few guidelines for using some sort of bug aerosol and for you to carry on to keep your own personal home free from crawling and traveling by air bugs. Inside of improvement, invest the advantage associated with a chemically-based frustrate spray, and have kids and even pets, the spray needs to be left to dry in areas prior to it is possible to allow kids and pets back inside the area. If anyone would instead choose fully organically-based bug squirt gowns fully free from substances, it's possible to even so be certain of some sort of high insect wipe out price. Get the Scoop on Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House Before You're Too Late Sprays usually can get employed on your dogs and cats in addition. Before you use the spray, make certain you look over the included booklet, particularly if you are likely to use the product for controlling pest on your own personal household pets. If you have a tendency need to get irritated together with something that you must spray, then that piece may be the great answer for you. EcoSMART Vegetation spray is supposed to be utilized throughout dog's kennels and almost all over the backyard. Organically-based bug sprays came very a distance and they are amazingly capable of killing insects. A lot of sprays are designed to kill a variety of insects like pests, spiders, bed bugs, together with other forms of crawling pesky insects, though a few sprays may be especially designed for certain kinds of bugs, want bed bugs or wasps. Chile self defense insecticide spray Identical to garlic spray, chile pepper apply is the enormous homemade organic termite repellent that could always be used for many distinctive pests. Make specific to help read products' fine produce with care and make guaranteed that insecticides defintely won't be merged. They can be private like residual or nonresidual, a good general indication involving how prolonged the insecticide will remain active right after that has been used. They are a kind of pesticide that is used to help specifically target and get rid of insects. There are loads of reasons you might opt for a liquid insecticide. All of our liquid insecticides have for you to be mixed with water in advance of use, and are also best regarding making a perimeter hurdle around your house. They will work well for this mainly because they make it quicker to create an even barriers of insecticide all typically the way around your home. Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House Secrets That No One Else Knows About If you've got some sort of specifically lousy infestation, an individual might also wish to fit money into alternate styles of pest control, such as an indoor plug-in pest repeller or hanging strips. Check to realize that your own insect is listed. They have also perfect for eradicating stinging pesky insects outside your house and the high-powered product makes it quite simple to be able to target insects that settle down into in hard to get to areas. Today, there are usually lots of strategies for destroying ants completely within a protected and accountable approach. Mantis is a business grade concentrate that's utilised by big organic growers with an incredibly low dilution charge, now it's a very cost effective product or service as a single bottle produces between of sixteen and thirty two gallons regarding spray option that will certainly endure many months. Choosing Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House Is Simple Just because an object includes the prospect involving harm, does not suggest the idea cannot be utilized properly. This item can be non-staining and is safe for proper use on a assortment of materials. So in conclusion, not only contain the merchandise changed, but in addition the way in which these kinds of are applied, helping to make the idea significantly more safer total specifically for children. Make certain that the particular pesticide tag signals the product could be used indoors. Even better, the item is available in many shapes, from four ounces around the single gallon, which means you will start out small in case you simply wish to check the spew. There will be a number of insecticide manufacturers which also function as a pesticide. Gossip, Deception and Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House An option is to help acquire a homemade insecticide for you to kill and prevent pest infestations. It is the best option for men and women that want a fast working and naturally-occurring, vegetation insecticide. Plugging them inside out-of-doors or within the home should keep on to be able to keep insects away from the place. Other individuals are meant to get used in the house with the place where they will treat eggs, larvae, pupae and grownups alike. Blend only the amount which often you will need for each application.

[scoopstranslations-blog]

What You Must Know About Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House and Why New Questions About Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House

شركة رش مبيدات حشرية في جدة ar.wikipedia.org What Does Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House Mean? New Questions About Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House All you have for you to do is to product in the vicinity involving your house to produce an invisible barrier of security. Solution sprays could possibly be residual as well as non-residual and are simple to help use in addition to employ. Pulverizador sprays can often kill pests on make contact with, though a few products also work as a new residual spray which may put up with up to three a few months to get indoors use in addition to up to be able to 12 weeks for out-of-doors places. A bug spray which packed in a pulverizador apply is the incredibly great selection for pest handle as this provides anyone a twofold approach for you to irritate repellent. While parasite defense tools can control current bugs in your house and the ones of which want to your individual domain name, here are a few ideas for using a good bug apply and to be able to carry on to keep your own house free from creeping and flying bugs. Inside add-on, invest the advantage connected with a chemically-based pest spray, and have kids and pets, the spray should be left to dry on the subject of areas just before it is usually possible to allow kids and pets back in the space. If a person would rather select a totally organically-based bug spew that's totally free from substances, it's possible to nevertheless be certain of a good high insect get rid of amount. Get the Scoop on Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House Before You're Too Late Sprays usually can end up being employed on your dogs as well. Before you use the spray, be sure you look over the included pamphlet, specially if you are likely to be able to use the product intended for controlling bug on your current domestic pets. If you don't need to get worried with something that an individual must spray, then this object may be the great answer for you. EcoSMART Vegetation spray is designed to be utilized inside dog's kennels and all of over the garden. Organically-based insect sprays came very a distance and they are astoundingly capable of killing pests. Numerous sprays are made to kill a good variety of insects like pests, spiders, bed bugs, together with other varieties of crawling pests, though a few sprays are generally especially designed for selected kinds of bugs, love bed bugs or wasps. Republic of chile self defense insecticide spray Identical to garlic spray, chile pepper spew is some sort of big homemade 100% natural bug repellent that could be used for several distinctive pests. Make a number of in order to read products' fine publications properly and make guaranteed that insecticides defintely won't be mixed. They can be private because residual or nonresidual, the general indication connected with how extended the insecticide will remain lively immediately after that has been utilized. They are a variety of pesticide utilized for you to specifically target and get rid of insects. There are plenty of reasons you may opt for a liquid insecticide. All our liquid insecticides have to be able to be blended with water just before use, and are best with regard to making a edge barriers around your house. They work nicely for this due to the fact they make it easier to generate an even obstacle associated with insecticide all this way around the house. Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House - What Is It? If you've got some sort of specially lousy infestation, you might also wish to put money into substitute sorts of pest control, such as an indoor plug-in pest repeller or hanging strips. Look at to recognize that your own infestation is listed. Is actually also perfect for getting rid of stinging insect pests outside your own home and the high-powered aerosol can make it quite simple for you to target insects the fact that nesting in hard to get to areas. Today, there are lots of methods for destroying ants completely within a safe and dependable method. Mantis is the manufacturing level concentrate that's used by large organic growers with an highly low dilution amount, as a result it's a very cost-effective merchandise as a solitary bottle helps make between of sixteen and 34 gallons involving spray alternative that can endure many conditions. New Ideas Into Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House Never Before Revealed Just because an piece carries the prospect involving harm, will not show that cannot be utilized carefully. This item is non-staining and is safe to be used on a assortment regarding surfaces. So in summary, not only contain the merchandise changed, but in addition the manner in which they're applied, that creates this a lot more safer total specifically for children. Make specific that typically the pesticide brand signals that this product may well be used indoors. Even better, the item is offered in many sizes, through four ounces around a good single gallon, so you might start out small in case you simply wish to check the bottle of spray. There are a number of insecticide brands which also work as a pesticide. The Fight Against Is It Safe to Spray Insecticide in House An option is for you to acquire a homemade insecticide to be able to kill and prevent infestation infestations. It can be the best option for men and women who else want a fast performing and naturally-occurring, organic insecticide. Plugging them inside outside or within typically the home should continue to keep insects away from position. Some others are meant to get utilization in the house from the place where they might treat eggs, larvae, pupae and grownups alike. Combination only the amount which usually you should for each application.

[roxywashere]

What’s Up, Danger

Rey acclimates to her powers

Rey Walker, better known as the superhero Neon, had very suddenly become a celebrity after being inducted into Astra’s League, the world's most prestigious superhero organization. She sat in the League's headquarters, FursTech Tower in Danesville, Wisconsin, at 3 in the morning January 1st 2101, watching as 24-hour news stations scrambled to uncover everything they could about this random punk-rocker who had just been thrust onto the world's stage. Her best friends and long-time crime-fighting partners Hilda Furst, Elle Ectric, and Shailene Octavia stood around watching the same holographic screens where they were also being analysed for the same reasons.

“This is so weird,” Rey commented as she watched the TMZ office argue about the team’s power levels while all still wearing party hats from their New Years party just hours before.

“You’ll get used to it,” Aradia Furst told her. 

“I’m literally being interviewed by like 17 people every single minute and I hate it,” Hilda said. She was apparently Aradia’s second cousin three times removed (Hilda’s great-great-great-great-grandparents were Aradia’s great-grandparents), which Hilda had only learned when she saw it on MSNBC’s coverage of her. “I’ve never killed myself in public before but I’m this fucking close to doing it just to have one less body for everybody to interrogate.” She’d never been this stressed out by her power before, at least that she’d let her best friends know.

“This is exactly why I don’t like going out in public,” Elle said.

“Well, I guess you’re going to be travelling exclusively by lightning bolt forever now because your ass is famous worldwide.”

“I wish my ass was famous,” Shailene mumbled.

“Don’t go getting any ideas, now,” Aradia chastised. “We’re public figures, we have to keep a clean facade.”

“I mean, do we have to? Or is that just how things have been done? What if it’s tasteful? With, like, a real photographer?”

“If you want to draw Astra’s ire, go ahead. But I’ll be looking down my nose at you the whole time.”

“All I heard was ‘go ahead’.”

“Do you pay us?” Hilda asked. “Or would we have to do brand deals and shit.”

“You each get a monthly stipend which will support a quite comfortable housing arrangement,” Aradia answered. “Anything else you wish to earn on top of that is up to you. I would suggest that you wait to get comfortable with your new income before you start trying to supplement it.”

“Is that on top of, or replacing, your basic income program?”

Aradia was at a loss for words. “No League members have ever been on the program before. I never even considered that it was a possibility.”

Rey’s phone dinged with a new message. She was actually kind of surprised that it wasn’t just constantly going off since the press conference. The text, and the ones that immediately followed it, read:

Hey, this is Felicia The waitress From the diner You gave me your number Are you busy right now? You’re probably busy You can ignore me if you’re busy

With a brief burst of her superspeed Rey texted back:

                                          I'm not busy don’t worry                                           Just watching the news                                           hyd?

What is this, the 20s? ‘hyd’?

                                          I’m old fashioned

I get enough old fashioned at this fucking diner

                                          Is your shift over?

Almost. Another hour

                                          You work third shift often?

Only tonight I drew the short straw to work the new year shift

                                          You busy after?

I was planning on sleeping

                                          That’s probably a good idea

I could wait until after getting an early breakfast tho

                                          Wanna come to Danesville?                                           I know a couple places

Danesville is a 10 hour drive from here

                                          I can carry you                                           Btw, whats the actual address of the diner                                           I kinda just stumbled upon you last time

1 Mile Run Rd Allenwood PA We’re right next to Little Mountain State Park off I-80

Suddenly Hilda jumped out of her seat, yelling “FUCK!”

“What is it?” Aradia asked.

“The Harlequin just showed up at one of my bank security guard jobs. Midwest Federal.”

A plasma trail traced from the chair Rey had been sitting in to the workshop’s balcony, where Rey already was, leaning over it to look out over the city. “Alright Aradia, time to hold up your end of the bargain.”

“I suppose it is.” Aradia got to work casting a portal, but instead of waiting Rey jumped over the railing and ran down the side of the building. Running down a building was always much harder than running up one, but it was so much more exhilarating. On her way down, she sent one last text to Felicia:

Gotta go. Duty calls. See you in an hour hopefully If I never text back then that means I’m dead 👉😎👉

She made it to the bottom with no problems, and flowed through the city until she stopped in front of the bank. Five of Hilda in bank security guard uniforms were standing with their handguns pointed at the door. All the lights inside were dark, and the front door looked like it had been smashed in. A second later the portal Aradia had been casting finally opened, behind Hilda and Rey.

“Wait,” Shay said, double-taking at the balcony of the workshop behind her. “How did you...”

“I’ve been here for like five minutes, guys,” Rey taunted.

An ATM came flying out of the bank’s front doors, followed by a shrill roar. Rey stepped out of the way, pulling one of Hilda who was also in the way along with her.

“What the fuck was that? I thought you said the Harlequin was in there?”

“I swear to god I saw her mask for an instant before she killed me,” Hilda said.

“Is she working with somebody new?”

“Let’s not wait to see...” Aradia said. “HARLEQUIN!” I know you’re in there. You’ve slipped under my radar for far too long.”

Another roar rang out. And then a slow stomping, slowly growing closer. And eventually some creature stepped out of the shadows, with red-and-white checkered scales, wearing the Harlequin’s mask: a plain featureless oval, half red and half white. Except the mask had been split across its width, a third of the way up, by a thick crack which was now its mouth.

“What the fuck is that thing?” Elle asked.

It spoke, in a low, rasping tone. “Hello, Aradia. Recognise me?”

“Why should I, fiend?” Aradia demanded.

“Twofold, witch. Your father was a thorn in my side for decades, one. And you and I spoke face to face only 7 days and a few hours ago, two.”

The Harlequin had been a consistent foe of her father in his early days before joining Astra’s League, this Aradia was familiar with. But, seven days and a few hours ago, Aradia had been at Johanna Kerr’s christmas ball, before it had been blown up by what evidence suggested was the Harlequin, or at least her goons. Aradia would have remembered encountering this beast there.

“What happened to you, Harlequin. This is something new, even for you.”

“I’ll spare you the details of my weakness, if you please. I’ll only have you know that it was and remains to be very painful.”

Something clicked in Aradia’s mind. Could it have something to do with the massive explosion the Harlequin had triggered after Aradia had left the christmas ball? If she had been at the ball to trigger the bomb, she likely would also have been caught in it. That would be more than enough energy to disrupt the impenetrability of her superhuman skin and possibly cause this strange alteration. It was a chemistry gauntlet to work through some other time, however, and especially not as a mere thought experiment.

“Then allow me to relieve your pain,” Aradia announced, straightening her back, and drawing herself up into the standard casting stance, one hand held in front of the other, fingers ready to trace magic circles into the air. “Girls, do what you do.”

The very first thing the Harlequin did was wrench a piece of the door frame out of the wall, and attempt to use it as a javelin to spear Aradia. As before, Rey leapt in to pull Aradia out of the way of the projectile, which embedded into a concrete wall across the street.

“Don’t worry about me getting hit,” Aradia told Rey. “I’m more robust than I look. Focus on taking this thing out.” She then quickly summoned a simple but strong magical barrier, and used it to give herself cover while maneuvered herself next to Hilda.

Meanwhile, Elle and Shay put their powers to work together, performing one of their favorite tag-team moves. Shay reached out and liberated the bronze fixtures from the destroyed door, which she psychically compacted into two rods and Elle then pumped a voltage differential into. Shay launched them at the Harlequin, which hit and elicited a scream as the voltages equalized through her.

Once Aradia had sidled up to Hilda, she asked of her “I’m going to need you to duplicate something for me, quickly.”

“What is it?”

Aradia knelt down and anchored her barrier to the street. She then plucked a dimly glowing white jewel off one of her necklaces and handed it to Hilda. “Its magic and that's all you'll understand even if I explained it. Took me a few years to understand myself.”

Hilda took the jewel and quickly duplicated herself to five, before passing the now 5 jewels to the middle-most her and re-condensing herself back to one. She repeated the duplication once more, before handing them to Aradia. Piled together in a hoard of 25, their combined glow was now about as bright as an average light bulb.

“That’ll do quite nicely,” Aradia said. She dumped all but one into her sleeve, cradling the last one in her palm. She pumped her light through her skin into the jem.

Aradia stood up, clenching her other fist and dissipating the shield she had summoned. She tossed the jewel towards the Harlequin, and yelled “Rey! Blast this with me!”

While Aradia cast a spell to focus her light, Rey zipped in and examined the jem. In the compressed time that her power afforded her, she grabbed it out of the air, and made a deliberate pondering pose for a long enough fraction of a second that she would be visible doing it. She then walked up to the Harlequin, and held it out in front of the Harlequin’s mask. While the Harlequin did a double-take at the audacity of the act, Rey asked “This a good spot?”

“Perfect.” Aradia illuminated the jem with a brilliant white laser projected from her fingertip. Rey, for her own part, channeled her power to siphon some of the plasma that was fueling her into it as well. It was less than a second before Rey felt a crack, and took that has her cue to let go and back away very casually.

Rey watched from a roof across the street as the jewel exploded, throwing the Harlequin through the wall of the bank. 

She only recently had been able to go this fast, after Aradia had given her an upgrade: The Heart. The Heart was a backpack fusion reactor that produced functionally infinite plasma for her to fuel her power with. She use to be able to consistently hit speeds of about fifteen miles a minute, but she’d only be able to sustain that for a handful of minutes. With the Heart, however, she’d been clocking a mile a second, and she had been able to sustain that for at least fifteen minutes, long enough to run from New York City to Danesville, without a sweat.

She pulled her phone out and checked to see Felicia’s response:

If that becomes the last text you ever send anybody i’m donating this phone to the smithsonian for their astras league exhibit

Rey smiled, and put her phone away. She went to step off the roof, but stopped when she noticed a strange flower growing out of the gravel spread across the roof. She summoned some plasma to her palm to shine a light on the flower, which closed its petals against the intense beam of sun-simulacrum.

She heard a crunch against the gravel behind her, and as quickly as she could she turned to face the sound, delivering her neck quite nicely into the grasp of a viney tentacle.

“Well, well, well,” world-infamous supervillainess Babalon said, as she lifted Rey off the ground.

She was dark-skinned, indian-american if Rey remembered the various tv specials about her correctly. Her hair was a long braided tangle, interwoven with branches and interspersed with flowers. She was wearing a bodysuit that was either made of leaves or designed to look like it was made of leaves. Holding her up off the ground were a dozen or so ten-foot-long, inch-thick vines that sprouted from her back and waist, one of which was stretched out and holding Rey. Each vine ended in a bundle of two-foot-long “fingers” each of which could move individually but tended to be used in groups. The fingers were what was wrapped around Rey's neck, preventing her from making her retreat.

Babalon drew herself closer to Rey. “It seems the self-pompous priestess of light has found herself a new disciple. Wanna know what I did to the last one?”

“I'm good, actually. Hey, why'd you name yourself Babalon?” Rey responded, grabbing the vine around her neck with both hands and channeling some of her plasma into it. Babalon recoiled as two feet of that vine was instantly incinerated.

“She gave you the Light too?! HOW?!” Babalon screamed as she swung another of her vines at Rey, faster even than most other superspeedsters Rey had ever met. No wonder she was on the top tier, worthy of being one of the few that drew Astra herself out to fight.

Rey needed to actually focus. Her new upgrade gave her an edge, but only barely.

She boosted herself backwards, remembering just a little too late that the edge of the roof had been behind her. She tripped over the parapet and fell back over the edge, and slowed time down to give her some space for thought. She was about 5 stories up. It would take about 4 seconds to reach the ground. That was plenty of time. She brought her hand to her chin and pondered.

She had only had three hours to adjust to her new power level, but she was fairly confident in her ability. She had developed one specific new skill, something almost unnoticeable that she had nonetheless noticed running up and down buildings all night. She just needed to figure out how to do it on purpose.

She felt the writing mass of plasma on her back, the Heart, given to her by Aradia. She felt its warmth, its light. “The Light”, Babalon had called it. Astra, local goddess she was, had never revealed what it was that fueled her cosmic might, but she did do a lot of glowing while she used it. Was this the same Light? Rey had no idea, but it was a fun little supposition to make. And it did somewhat explain the aforementioned new skill.

“Are you... posing?” Babalon asked, apparently appalled by the gall Rey was exhibiting.

Rey had been focusing on both her inner monologue and maintaining the hand to the chin, and hadn’t noticed that time had resumed normal speed and she hadn’t continued falling.

“What the fuck?!” Shay yelled. “I’m not doing that!

Rey looked at herself. She appeared to be just standing at a 90 degree angle from vertical, 45 feet above the street. “Huh. Didn’t know I could do that.” As she moved, the plasma trail that indicated she was using her power traced her every gesture.

Babalon lunged over the edge, and Rey cut out her power to drop herself out of reach. Shay reached out and grabbed Rey before she hit the ground, following the unprecedented failure of Rey to reactivate the hovering part with the rest of her powers.

“That was weird,” Rey told the others as she righted herself. “Anyway, what’s up with this bitch, Rad?”

Aradia gave Rey a look of annoyance for using her nickname. “That’s Jane Newark. She’s...” Aradia sighed. “A pseudodemon, and a Whore.”

“Wow, strong words. But, I get the idea. Let’s kick her ass.”

A brick whizzed past Rey's head. “Forgetting something?” the Harlequin growled.

“Elle, help me out with Babalon, the rest of you keep dealing with dollface.”

Elle zapped up to the roof with Babalon, with Rey following.

“The witch’s new toys are out to play, I see...” Babalon said as she circled the two. “I’ve killed 5 of Astra’s League, you two small fries don’t stand a chance.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” Rey said winding up a punch, Elle standing behind her. “Elle, now!”

Elle jumped forwards, converting herself into pure electrical energy, electrical plasma. She wrapped herself around Rey’s arm, and Rey absorbed her and used her energy to launch herself forward, fist first. Elle released herself the instant Rey’s fist hit Babalon’s chest, exploding out of Rey’s hand, shooting forwards and launching Babalon into the sky.

Elle continued to the clouds, dragging Babalon along with her. She rematerialized periodically, taking opportunities to give Babalon a kick or two before returning to plasma to dodge Babalon’s flailing vines. On the ground, Rey flowed through the streets, following Elle’s flashes of lightning.

Elle eventually let Babalon go in the middle of a cloud over a field outside the city. She struck down to the ground, and started waiting for Babalon to fall down to her. Rey caught up only a few seconds later. They acknowledged each other with a fistbump that crackled with static and neon.

“So what was with that flying thing back there?” Elle asked.

“I don’t really know. This nuclear backpack Rad gave me has some fucking magic in it or something.”

“Can you do it again?”

“I mean, probably. I don’t know how though. How do you do it?”

‘“It’s just an instinctual extension of my power. But it’s not really the same as, like, how Astra flies.”

“I mean, obviously. But I gotta start somewhere.”

“What if you just try running up?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“When you run with your power, it’s like pushing yourself in the direction you want to go, right? Just do that, but up.”

“I don’t know...” Rey was silent as she looked up to inspect Babalon's progress towards the ground. “Wait, shit, I just got it.”

“Got what?”

“It’s the Garden of Babalon, because she controls plants.”

Elle sighed. “That does make sense, yeah. You wanna give it a go, with me giving you a boost?”

“Give what a go?”

“Running up.”

“I mean, sure. But you gotta promise to catch me if it don't work.” Rey reached out her hand towards Elle

“Deal.” Elle took Rey’s hand. “3, 2, 1...” Elle converted to lightning and crackled over Rey’s skin as Rey absorbed her, before Rey knelt down and then jumped into the air, Elle releasing herself to give Rey a little extra height.

Rey tried doing what Elle suggested, activating her power to try to force herself higher. As Elle jumped out of her, Rey tried to siphon some of the extra energy Elle had given her, and add it to her reservoir.

She didn’t expect that she would be rocketed into the sky at the same speed she could run. She passed Babalon, still on her own journey down, before she knew what was happening, and hit the clouds in a single second.

Elle, still nearly on the ground, for a second thought her friend had exploded or somehow vaporized herself, until she backed away and saw Rey’s plasma trail tracing a thick, bright line straight up. “Holy shit, Rey.”

Rey, now whizzing past the clouds, considered what to do next. She calmly pulled some plasma from the Heart, though not nearly as much as she used to get into this position, and then tried activating her power downwards to slow her still very rapid ascent through the atmosphere. She managed to stop herself before she got to the point where the air would be too thin to breath, and then let herself start to drop back down to Earth. She periodically slowed herself down, until she was continuously doing it, and was floating like she had done accidentally before. She experimented with the hypothetical throttle of her power, gently increasing and decreasing to raise higher and lower, and then tried to change the angle at which the was directing her power, and managed to achieve something quite analogous to how she assumed someone like Astra could fly.

She glanced down, and noticed Elle zapping around a very angry looking dot, and dropped down to join her.

“Nice of you to join us,” Elle said as Rey gently fell to a stop a few dozen feet above the grass.

“Hey, turns out, I can totally fly.”

“Join the club.”

“We just did, like 5 hours ago.”

“Shut and help me, Rey.”

Rey dropped down to the ground, where Babalon was swinging her vines wildly to try and and reach the two heroes floating just out of her reach.

“You getting tired yet?” Rey asked her. “If you want I could go get Astra, somebody you can actually get some good swings in with.”

“Don’t act like you’re too powerful for me. You haven’t laid a finger on me either, you stupid punk.”

“Tell that to your singed vine.”

Babalon lunged at Rey, growling with frustration. Rey zipped past her vines, and grabbed the vine harness that anchored her plant limbs to her human body. Rey pumped plasma directly from the Heart onto the vines, incinerating them and burning away the leaf-like costume Babalon was wearing.

Babalon swung one of her human arms, hitting Rey and sending her flying.

Rey crashed into the grass, rolling and yelling in pain. “FUCK! I think my rib is broken...”

Babalon, now robbed of her major advantage and seething with rage, stomped towards the now vulnerable hero. “That’s why it takes Astra to handle me, you petulant child. She can take a hit.”

Elle zapped over to Rey, to put herself between Rey and Babalon. “You get back, you bitch.” Elle unwound the chains she kept wrapped around her arms, and started swinging them, striking sparks between them. “We aren’t done here, yet.”

“I’ll just kill you both, then.”

Elle ran at Babalon, and then zapped around her, leaving her chains corporeal enough to wrap around Babalon’s arms. Elle materialized behind her and twisted the chains to bind Babalon’s arms behind her. “Do anything stupid and your heart’s a piece of burnt toast.”

“Bold of you to assume I have one.”

“Well, if you say so.” Elle pumped 10,000 volts across her hands, sending the current across Babalon’s shoulders, setting her skin on fire most evidently. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Elle atomized the chains and rematerialized them back on her own arms, and then kicked Babalon to the ground, where she screamed in apparent agony. “Rey, do you think you can walk?”

Rey slowly got to her feet, grunting occasionally whenever she agitated the broken rib. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Can you send up a flare?”

“Yeah.” Rey raised her palm up to the sky, and launched a plasma ball into the air, arcing slightly towards the city.

A portal appeared a dozen seconds later, out of which Aradia, Shay, and Hilda stepped. Rey saw, through the portal, the Harlequin, restrained tightly by a few dozen feet of chain wrapped around her, being loaded into a police van.

“Good work, girls,” Aradia congratulated. “You are certainly working hard to earn your place on this team.” Aradia strode towards the writhing Babalon, and pulled all of the adamantium from the jewelry she was wearing and sent it to lift Babalon and hogtie her. “Wait until Astra hears how the youngest members of the League took you down on their own.”

“Your threats of humiliation mean nothing, witch,” Babalon spat.

Aradia muzzled Babalon with the remaining adamantium she had. “Shut the fuck up, Whore.”

Rey limped over. “Hey, I don’t suppose you got any healing magic, do you?”

“Depends how severe your injury.”

“Broken rib?”

“Just one? No trouble at all.” Aradia quickly danced out a spell, which sent a warmth up through Rey’s ribcage. “Now, I would suggest you rest for a while before...”

“No can do, doc, I’ve got a date to keep.” Punctuated by a communal sigh from all five of the other women, Rey zipped off.

[uhsinternational]

GUIDE TO RESTAURANT BENCH, BANQUETTE & BOOTH SEATING

The terms Bench, booth, and banquette seating are utilized reciprocally in restaurant spaces with a specific style and seating the restaurant space centres around.

 Bench and booth seating is a sleek seating answer for restaurant spaces, cafes, bars, and nightclubs. Though Banquettes or fixed seating makes are space-saving, comfortable, personal seating corners for visitors to eat, drink and make the most of their time privately. It is vital to know the different kinds, styles, and materials for restaurant corners while deciding the seating design for your restaurant.

 Here is a guide on picking the ideal restaurant seating manual to make your eating space practical and tasteful.

 Why Choose Banquette Seating?

 When planning a restaurant inside space, it is vital that the furniture is not everyone level. By doing as such, there is a separating factor that makes the restaurant space look more like quarters or canteen if all the furniture winds up at a similar stature.

 Banquette seating permits the presentation of more stature-based furniture giving it some height as far as to plan and stylish allure.

 Banquette seating can likewise be utilized to keep up pedestrian activity through the restaurant space and permit inn staff to work effectively absent a lot of disturbance. Also, it tends to be utilized to isolate a room, for instance, isolating the restaurant from a bar territory or to isolate a dining region from the restaurant.

Upholstery and Materials

 Picking the right upholstery for banquette seating is especially significant as utilizing plain texture can in some cases look tedious and disturb the entire tasteful of the inside plan. To add a little volume and surface It's a smart thought to present two-conditioned textures, secured backs, fluted or funnelled upholstery to your restaurant inside plan.

 Considering the way that more food and drink is parted on banquette seating than contrasted with free seats numerous originators decide on fake leather upholstery which can be cleaned off without any problem.

 We at UHS International have an assortment of choices for your restaurant spaces to present a more contemporary tasteful.

 The most effective method to structure a Banquette Seating.

 A Well-planned banquette seating can regularly change probably the most exhausting spaces in a restaurant into the most mainstream zones with a tiny bit of innovativeness.

 Lighting additionally assumes a significant part, and lux light levels should consistently be proper for this reason. Massive pendant fittings over bar or restaurant banquette seating sway a burger joint's decision of seating.

 Banquette and seat seating are the ideal answers for add a good look to your restaurant, bistro, club relax, or any business space.

 Here are a few benefits of Bench and Banquette style seating for eateries:

1. Banquettes are an ideal alternative for swarmed dining spaces.

 This kind of seating extends across every bit of the extra divider. U-shape banquette augments both seating and table space. The fastened back style eating banquette seating from UHS International accompanies either a wooden plinth base, wooden legs, or metal leg outline, ideal for any lodging lounge and can be made to a particular size whenever required.

 2. Banquette Seating is Cosy.

 Numerous Restaurants adjust banquette-style seating since it has the adaptability of being utilized as a corner just as banquette seating. It is likewise entirely agreeable and sumptuous. This sort of seating gives a customized insight, and one can skip catching individuals passing close by. The London leather banquette from UHS International is a go-to with regards to such seating; with an exemplary plan and an extravagant look, it is the go-to seating for focused energy swarmed foundations. Appropriate for business-grade It's fluted back style cowhide banquette seating that accompanies either a wooden plinth base, wooden legs, or metal leg outline.

3.Banquette seating can add excellence to any foundation.

 Banquette seating is frequently novel by include. As it is by and large exceptionally worked for space, it, as a rule, has lovely specifying and custom highlights like stockpiling in the seats, shelves above or beneath, and so on. The highlights that can be added to exceptionally constructed banquette seating will really make the space increment usefulness and increment the effectiveness of the space it is set in. The Paris Banquette Sofa from UHS International is an ideal illustration of wooden banquette seating that adds a good look to any business space. A move top back style banquette couch seating that accompanies either a wooden plinth base, wooden legs, or metal leg outline. Its high-back include permits it to transform into a more private space. The perfect lines and misleadingly straightforward plan of this banquette couch befits a complex contemporary inside.

 Why Choose Booth Seating?

 Corner Seating in restaurant spaces is an exceptionally famous decision; they offer open seating choices, satisfying style, and a close feasting experience, making them an engaging expansion to eating settings.

 ·         For what reason are Booths an amazing seating decision at a restaurant eating space?

·         Stall seating make less traffic and take out the requirement for workers to stroll around every one of the four sides of a table.

·         Have a more agreeable feel and stylish than customary table seating.

·         Offer your clients more privacy.

·         Accessible in a wide assortment of shadings, styles, and plans

 The underlying expense of Booth seating may be higher; however, in the long haul, stalls give quite possibly the most expensive and space-proficient designs you can decide for your lounge area.

 Here are four speedy tips for choosing the ideal restaurant eating stalls.

 While picking corner seating for your restaurant, you ought to think about the style, the materials, and the state of the stall.

Here are 4 fast tips to choose the ideal restaurants feasting stalls. 

 While picking corner seating for your restaurant, you ought to think about the style, the materials, and the state of the stall. 

 1.Match the style of the stall to the general restaurant feels 

 Restaurant stalls give a look of your space and upgrade your current inside stylistic layout components. They range from plain back, country-style, button-tufted, beadboard, V-back, channel back and fan back. Each style addresses an alternate subject of inside plans. For instance: 

 ·         V-back stalls function admirably in a retro-themed diner. 

 ·         Catch tufted corners give a richer gander at a top notch foundation. 

  Beadboard eating stalls are ideal for temples     and other shared assembling areas.

  2.Pick the right material for your restaurant corner

 It is vital to pick the material of the stall as per the plan and the sort of restaurant it is. Notwithstanding the style, the material of the corner likewise influences the general atmosphere in an restaurant space. Various types of materials fill various types of needs and are essentially used to upgrade the corner's visual feel and level of solace. For instance:

 ·         Classic wood stalls are made of simple to-clean wood and give a contemporary and provincial look to your restaurant space.

 ·         laminate stalls include a simple to perfect, solid wood outline and are most usually utilized in diners and bars.

 ·         Upholstery, like vinyl or texture, is utilized to cover the froth cushioning on both the seat and back on the wood casing of the corner to make a happy with eating experience. For instance, for a family-accommodating restaurant, having vinyl cushioned stalls makes it simple to clean stains that are probably going to happen around kids.

 3. Think about the Number of Occupants That Can Fit In Each Booth Shape

 ·         Single Booth–One corner seat. Can oblige up to two individuals easily next to each other.

 ·         Twofold Booth – Up to 4 individuals with 2 individuals sitting one next to the other and 2 more one after the other.

 ·         ½ Circle Booth – Standard measurements are 48" x 90" x 48". Can oblige 4 individuals.

 ·         ¾ Circle Booth – Standard elements of 48" x 90" x 90" x 48" can situate 6 individuals.

 ·         Wall Bench – Available in different lengths, this stall is typically combined with restaurant table-and-seat sets taking into consideration open to seating and enough isle space for workers and supporters.

 ·         L-Shape Booth – Mostly utilized in corners and considers ideal utilization of room.

 ·         Deuce Single Booth – Similar to that of a solitary corner however gauges 30" rather than 48" long. Known as a solitary individual stall (sits 1 individual).

 ·         Deuce Double Booth – Measures 30" long, rather than the standard twofold stall's 48" length. Permits two individuals to sit one after the other.

 4. Know the Booth Components and Their Terminology

 ·         Top Cap: Strip situated on the highest point of the stall.

·         Head Roll: Added froth pad for the head for open to seating.

·         End Cap: Located on the stall

·         Back: Added froth pad for back help to help keep visitors agreeable

·         Morsel Strip: Between back and pad for simple cleaning

·         Seat: Seating space of the corner

·         Evading: Located right beneath the pad utilizing a similar material

·         Welt rope: Additional funnelling for strength and style

·         Toe Kick: On the lower part of the corner around the foot territory to forestall wear.

·         Base: The establishment of the restaurant stall

  conclusion:

 Banquette seating can be changed into agreeable private corners just as changed to oblige crows by seat seating appropriately, consequently making this sort of seating multifunctional and expanding the effectiveness of business spaces with enormous groups.

[hackersandslackers]

Dealing with Dirty Data

Adventures in Excel

In my last post, we discussed how what separates a true analyst (read: technical) from a project manager wearing the mask of an analyst like some Scott Snyder era Joker (I figure that there's a solid overlap between fans of comic books and fans of the real world application of data. Note that this is a study with an N = 1 so it bares no statistical significance, but I have a funny feeling...call it spidey sense). Full disclosure, this post comes mostly out of my inability to sleep in my hotel room in Chicago following a grueling day of doing the very things I discuss in this blog, and preceding a day where I'll have to literally explain my last post to the suits, but perhaps this is the best mindset to begin discussing the myriad ways in which you may encounter dirty data in the wild, and how a savvy analyst may pivot and match their way around it. However, if my prose isn't as on point as you have grown accustomed...blame it on the 4AM haze. Alas, let's begin by discussing the organizational structure of the majority of corporate entities that leverage data to some degree (note, this isn't all corporations...and what does that say about the state of business?) and how, at each step of abstraction in this process that you are from the data, the data gets dirtier and dirtier. Essentially, there's always going to be a group of about 5-10 fewer-than-necessary legitimately skilled data scientists and/or computer programmers/DBAs who are really solid at building and maintaining a database as well as and some sort of compiling language (nowadays, that's probably python, but not exclusively, nor does this matter). However, depending on your industry (unless of course your industry IS data), it's nearly impossible to recruit people who have these skills to the level necessary AND have some familiarity with why this data is needed, and/or the ability to explain how the internal products that they build can be used by an end user. As such, this team has their own project manager(s) who's sole job is to keep these guys from developing a sentient AI that's sole goal is the annihilation of unfolded laundry...when your industry is healthcare. This team should also have at least one analyst who will take the raw code base and do the first step of translation to a more user friendly form. This generally takes shape as either dashboards in a system like Tableau, or if your company has a group of particularly strong data/business analysts (or particularly weak programmers) an interface written in plain(enough) English on a Business Intelligence platform such as Microsoft BI/SAP Business Objects or whatever other system your company utilizes. As a fun little note, this team ALMOST ALWAYS is referred to by some sort of acronym such as QDAR! (Quality data and reporting!) or KMnR! (Knowledge management and reporting!) or Those Fucking Guys (who have something to do with data) (TFG(whstdwd)). On a less fun little note...neither you, nor seemingly ANYONE ELSE will have contact with this team. In light of this information, how do the reports that they build get chosen or who decides how these databases are built? The world may never know. So let's assume the first type of reporting: the Dataratti (which is how I will refer to the acronym defined team described above moving forward) produces dashboards utilizing a tool such as Tableau or Crystal Reports. You may be thinking to yourself: "hey, isn't my job taking the data and putting it in a form where people who are scared by more than two nested groups of parenthesis, and thus this renders my job unnecessary?" The answer to the question is twofold: Yes, and of course not! As mentioned previously, the decision to create these dashboards, the data contained therein, and how you want them to look is decided upon by a mythical creature who has full access and understanding of the data warehouse, AND has full access to and understanding of the stakeholders (AKA, Those Who Sit Above in Shadow ; that's a reference from a famous run of Thor comics that refers to to a mysterious cabal of gods who perpetuate the cycle of Ragnarok in order to subsist upon the energies created by this strife...which as I write this, is an almost disgustingly on-the-nose metaphor for upper management). Now, if you believe that you may be this mythical creature (as I do), I DARE you to apply for a job with this job description, and once you clinch it with the advice from this blog, rapidly realize that your job will involve either one of these job duties or the other. With that digression, even if somehow a useful dashboard for YOU is created, the limitations inherent in these dashboarding tools make one CRUCIAL issue omnipresent: one can only effectively illustrate up to 16 different variables at a time before the system breaks down (for example, Tableau's documentation specifically warns against this). So even if you have the nicest, most illustrative dashboards on the planet from the Dataratti, there is a nearly 100% chance that the information that you actually need will be scattered across 2-3 different dashboards...rendering the nice looking dashboards essentially useless for your purposes, and as previously stated, you have no contact with the Dataratti, nor do you have access to the underlying data from which these dashboards are created. So pop quiz hot shot, what DO you do? Well, mercifully, all of these dashboard tools allow an end user to download a "data dump" (our parlance for "a buncha numbers with headings"). Using Tableau as an example, one can download either a "crosstab" or a text file of the data represented by the dashboard (in both "summary" and "full data" format). Now, just to get the truly gifted in Tableau off my back, yes, the functionality does exist to build in the ability to download the data in the exact format necessary for your needs through a specific combination of custom web server views and Javascript, but... If the users of the dash are exclusively using this function, why do the dashboard at all? And... This forces the developers in the Dataratti to have decent web design skills on top of really high level Tableau skills, and it requires someone to anticipate exactly how the data will be used by the end user by the Dataratti (which is incredibly hard as it's impossible to speak to this department directly, and as previously stated, the lack of this knowledge on their end is the entire reason why my department exists). A few things to note before downloading data from Tableau: You must highlight at least one element of the dashboard before downloading a crosstab. Depending on what kind of dashboard you're working with, you may need to highlight the entirety of one column in order to capture the entirety of your data (click the first element in any column and then scroll down to the bottom of the report...which may be enormously long, hit shift and click the last element in the report) before downloading either the data or the crosstab. If you are downloading a crosstab, be wary, Tableau web server caps how many rows you can download in this method at a time, this can be avoided by downloading the text version of the data (by clicking data as opposed to crosstab). HOWEVER... If you are going the data route, it defaults to summary view. Look over all the headings, and ensure that this covers everything you need, otherwise click "full data" . Interestingly, this still isn't actually the entirety of your data, and continue to check to make sure all of your headings are covered, otherwise, click the display all columns box, and then download all the rows as a text file. Now, repeat these steps until all of the data that you need in your report is contained across these text files (.csv, AKA the Comma Separated Value file type). With all that lunacy completed, you now have several sheets with some common columns, but all with different information; only some of which you need, so what do you think you do? Simple, you use the tools given to you in the previous posts: you lookup on the common factors across the sheets and return the data that you want until you have all the data you need, in the correct order, on one sheet, and then depending on the ask, you may want to pivot that data out in order to summarize the whole mess of data. THIS IS YOUR FINAL PRODUCT well done. Another protip: if you want to reposition data that you've obtained via a lookup, highlight the whole column, hit control+C to copy the data and then hit control+V pause a second (press NOTHING else) and then press control FOLLOWED by V . This takes the values generated by a formula and replaces them with the values obtained. Functionally, this looks exactly the same, but now you can move the data around without affecting or being affected by other data. As explaining only one possible dirty data scenario took over 1500 words, next time, we'll discuss the other most common form of taking the dirty data from the Dataratti and making it useful to you: using business intelligence portals as opposed to dashboards in order to grab the data that you need. Also, if I don't get roasted on a spit for being half asleep for tomorrow's (today's?) meeting, I'll try and write up a companion post with an example of how this works out in practice. In summary, in this post we've learned: How data is generally siloed and sequestered within the corporate environment, leading to a bevy of unnecessary steps on behalf of the analyst in order to distill a functional report for the powers-that-be Two major methods in which data comes from the data team (henceforth known as the Dataratti) to your team: Dashboards and Business Intelligence interfaces, and... Assuming you get data in the form of dashboards, how to take these dashboards, download the underlying data, recombine and manipulate the data, and package it in a way acceptable for your needs. Congrats, you've just learned the crucial skill of the Slice n' Dice ! Quite sleepily, -Snacks

- Max Mileaf

[oumakokichi]

Do you think Momota would have agreed to kill Ouma if he wasn't poisoned and already dying?

Now that’s an interesting question.There’s no way to know with 100% certainty of course, but if I had to give myown opinion… I don’t think he would. And not for reasons that have anything todo with “hating Ouma” or “doubting” him or anything like that. Rather, Momotahimself is also very strongly against murder (something that was somewhat lostin some moments of translation in the localization).

One of the parallels betweenOuma and Momota that I find the most interesting is, in fact, how much both ofthem hate murder and killing. For all their differences and all theirdisagreements, that seems to be one point they definitely both have in common.Where many other characters in ndrv3 are a little more undecided about whethera death was deserved or justified or not, Momota is easily one of thecharacters who, for the most part, thinks it’s pretty unforgivable even if there were good intentions behind it.

A lot of his blind belief inhis fellow classmates stems specifically from being unable to fathom them assomeone who would do such an “unforgivable” or “horrible” thing. In the Chapter2 post-trial, one of the first things Momota does is ask Kirumi for anexplanation of her motives, saying that he can’t understand why someone asseemingly selfless as her would do something as “selfish as murder.”

His distaste for killing showsthrough quite a lot in his interactions with Saihara, too, both within the mainplot and (briefly) in his final FTE with him. When Saihara tries to blamehimself for Kaede’s fate in Chapter 1, Momota interjects, stating quite clearlythat Kaede’s sins and regrets are “hers and hers alone.” It’s interesting, consideringhow firmly Momota thought of her as a good person, that he still recognizes herdecision to kill another human being as decidedly wrong, especially as it’ssomething I think a lot of the other characters in ndrv3 have trouble with.

When Saihara explains hisbackstory and the trauma he was left with by accidentally solving the case thatmade him famous as a detective, Momota also insists that Saihara wasn’t in thewrong because the guy who he put behind bars had decided to commit murder, andwas trying to get away with it. Despite all his shounen protagonist-likespeeches about trusting and believing in everyone, he definitely seems set onthe idea that those who make up their mind to take other people’s lives are atfault and deserve to atone for their crimes in some way. I think, prior to thekilling game, he was very much set on the idea that anyone who committed murderwas automatically a “bad person.” It’s the clash between perception andreality, as well as all the grey area that spans the two, that really forceshim to acknowledge his misconceptions in Chapters 4 and 5.

It’s pretty clear though thatno matter how “bad” or “horrible” he perceives someone as, Momota himselfdefinitely doesn’t think that situations should be resolved through killing.One thing that was altered pretty badly in the translation was the scene inChapter 5 where Maki chokes Ouma for the second time, after he brings theelectric hammers and bombs to the group. Momota is the only one who steps in andtells her to stop and let go—but whereas in the localization, the line wastranslated as, “[Harumaki], cut it out! You’ll get killed if you don’t!”, theoriginal line was actually “Harumaki, cut it out! If you keep going like that,you’re seriously gonna kill him!”

While Momota definitelyinterjects and doesn’t want Maki committing any more murders because he doesn’twant her to continue being a killer, or to get executed as a culprit in a classtrial, that’s a dilemma that only comes up after her actual attempt to murderOuma later on in the same chapter. During that scene in the gym, it’s prettyclear in the original line that Momota is actually worried about Ouma gettingchoked and dying on the spot, but the localization makes it much harder to tellconsidering the shift is entirely different. It’s a point of Momota’s characterthat stands out to me in particular: that even after all the horrible shit Oumapulled in Chapter 4, Momota still didn’t want him (or anyone else) dyingbecause of it, moreso when they didn’t actually believe that Ouma was theringleader or anything of the sort at that point in time.

During Momota’s flashbackscenes in the Chapter 5 post-trial, it’s pretty clear to see to that he wasinitially horrified by Ouma’s plan. The first thing he asks after recoveringfrom his shock is if Ouma is “trying to make him into some kinda killer,” atwhich he looks extremely pissed and upset. Even with the possibility of Makibeing executed for killing Ouma looming over, it was pretty clear that Momotawasn’t one to be pressured or forced into going along with any plans that hedidn’t willingly agree to.

He even clarifies himself inthe post-trial that he was not blackmailed into helping Ouma, but that heagreed willingly. His reasons were twofold. The first reason is that hegenuinely, honestly thought Ouma’s plan stood a good chance at striking back atthe ringleader and maybe even putting a stop to the killing game. And thesecond reason was that he was dying from his illness anyway and was “out oftime.”

Momota’s illness plays a hugerole in why he does the things he does over the course of the game. If hisblind faith and trust in others is what makes him such a charismatic anduplifting presence on others, it’s his illness and ticking clock that actuallypushes him forward as a character. There are many points in the game where Ithink he would’ve preferred to be more stubborn, or to find a different way todo things, had he been perfectly healthy and not pressured to make a decision. Butthe simple fact that he was running out of time and options alike is what makeshim more likely to rely on high-risk plans, even if he knows there’s a goodchance that things won’t work out the way he wants.

Without his illness in thepicture, it’s very hard to picture him going along with those same plans.Neither the fact that Ouma made him drink the antidote and saved his life, northe fact that Maki would be executed for killing Ouma, seem to have swayed hisstance on murder much. In both cases, he was definitely pissed off at Ouma, buthe didn’t seem like he was any more willing to go along with his plan,particularly as he didn’t want to be branded as a murderer and a killer. It’sstill possible that he might have gone ahead and agreed for Maki’s sake, justso that she wouldn’t be executed—I just don’t think it seems like it waspersonally very likely, in my opinion.

More likely, he would’ve triedto find some “third option” around things where he wouldn’t have to go alongwith Ouma’s plan or let Maki be executed. But the likelihood of this “thirdoption” working out would’ve been pretty much next-to-none, since much of Momota’sideas in the game center around having tons of charisma, bravery, andforcefulness, but almost no actual, concrete plans whatsoever. I think Momotawould’ve done his best to try and locate whoever the “real ringleader” was oncehe knew it wasn’t Ouma, but that he wouldn’t have been able to expose them onhis own, and Maki might very likely have gotten executed in the end.

The fact that Ouma himself wasdying either way probably did contribute to his decision, too, of course. Sincethere was no more antidote and Ouma was definitely going to die as a result ofthe torture poison no matter what, then it simply became a matter of choosinghow he would die, as opposed to whether or not to even kill him in the firstplace. I still think Momota was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of takinganyone’s life, but the fact that it was a murder of necessity where the victimwas asking for his cooperation probably did help him feel a little lesshorrible about his decision.

In the end, all of this isspeculation of course. But I think that given Momota’s definite, strong stanceagainst murderers and killers in the game (which is somewhat harder to get agrasp on in the localization), he would’ve been much less likely to agree tokilling Ouma had the circumstances been even slightly different. If he himselfhadn’t been sick and running out of time, if Ouma hadn’t been poisoned anddying, and if Ouma’s plan hadn’t stood as good of a shot at working as it did,he probably would’ve tried to find his own way around things, rather than agreeingto cooperate. Momota is, after all, nothing if not stubborn and extremely loyalto his ideals.

Anyway, this was a really funquestion to answer—thanks for asking, anon!

[widevoidblog]

How To Make Espresso Without An Espresso Machine

In case you're a coffee darling, you realize this amazing mix tastes incredible pretty much anyplace, whenever. The issue is, it's very simple to end up in circumstances—unwinding at home, during an outing to the dental specialist, or in your hang coasting exercise—where don't approach a coffee creator accessible.

 We can't generally help with the dental specialist or the hang skimming. (Also, truly, is caffeine what you need before you sit in that perverted person's dental specialist's seat?) But on the off chance that you have a hankerin' for coffee at home and would prefer not to take out a subsequent home loan so as to purchase a shining marvel from distant Torino, you'll be glad to realize you can figure out how to make coffee without a coffee machine.

  Solid, Dark, and Powerful: Espresso Coffee

 As far back as an ambitious Turinese man of his word named Angelo Moriondo designed the coffee machine in 1884, perceiving espresso darlings have appreciated the profound, dim, and delectable blend.

 The three most significant viewpoints to ace on the off chance that you need to see how to make coffee are the dish, the pound, and the compel used to blend the espresso. When you've gotten the hang of every one of the three, you'll be well on your approach to creating an incredible coffee regardless of whether you don't approach several dollars of sparkly Italian equipment.

  Coffee Roast

 Customarily broiled to an extremely dim completion, coffee has an a lot more grounded, more strong flavor than dribble espresso, which would one say one is of the things you love about it, correct? Every one of those delicious espresso solubles are simpler to extricate from dim cooked beans than their less toasty partners.

 This is on the grounds that more extended cooking brings about progressively permeable espresso beans, expanding accessible flavor exacerbates that can be separated all the more rapidly once the beans are ground.

  Coffee Grind

 When it's been simmered, coffee espresso is ground into an exceptionally fine powder. The fine espresso granulate eases back water infiltration, which builds the compel important to push the water through the channel and make a decent shot of coffee. On the off chance that the pound is excessively fine, nonetheless, it can hinder the espresso channel and ruin your espresso, also your whole day.

 On the off chance that you crush espresso beans at home (What do you mean, you don't? Do we have to come over yonder?), you can get a better, increasingly exact crush with a burr espresso processor.

 It's in fact conceivable to hand-granulate your beans to the superfine consistency required for coffee, however it'll take you a long time and require a ton of stamina, and the outcomes won't be so unsurprising likewise with a programmed espresso processor, however you may wind up with some quite buff biceps.

  Coffee Pressure

 Coffee machines work by compelling very heated water through finely ground espresso at huge weight—in a perfect world, multiple times air weight, or nine bars. That is around 130 pounds of weight for every square inch, or generally double the weight in your normal truck tire.

 Simple humans can't produce that sort of power by hand without particular hardware, however you can imitate the pressurization procedure to make coffee style espresso.

 3 Ways to Make Espresso without an Espresso Machine

 Since you have those excellent beans ground down to a fine powder, it's an ideal opportunity to give them something to do and get yourself appropriately juiced.

 The most effective method to Make Espresso with an AeroPress

 We're gigantic enthusiasts of the AeroPress. It's ideal for making a twofold shot of coffee. For a solitary shot, simply cut the measures of water and espresso into equal parts.

 Also See: Best coffee makers for home.

You'll require:

AeroPress

Naturally cooked espresso beans

Burr espresso processor

Scale for espresso estimating (or a tablespoon)

Electric gooseneck pot or stovetop pot

When you have your hardware and your beans, it's an ideal opportunity to make coffee!

Warmth 1 cup of water (8 oz or 234 ml) to 185°F (85°C). The perfect espresso blending temperature is 205°F (96°C), barely short of bubbling. Be that as it may, with an AeroPress, you can explore different avenues regarding water temperatures anyplace somewhere in the range of 185°F and 205°F (85°C and 96°C) until you locate your optimal temperature.

 Crush your beans to a fine consistency until you have 2 tablespoons (1 oz or 28.3 grams).

 Put a channel in the AeroPress channel top and wash it with heated water.

 Put the channel top on the AeroPress and spot it straightforwardly onto your espresso cup or tumbler. Ensure you pick a solid cup since you'll be putting pressure on it.

  Move your ground espresso to the AeroPress.

 Pack down the grounds, ensuring the "puck" of espresso is pleasant and tight. You can utilize a coffee pack to deal with this task, or utilize any tube shaped thing with a level base that will fit into the your AeroPress.

 Measure out ½ cup (4 fl oz or 120 ml) of the warmed water. Empty the water into the AeroPress and give it a brisk mix.

 Hold up 30 seconds in the wake of mixing, at that point dive with simply the heaviness of your hand. You'll likely feel solid opposition, however continue pushing consistently. When the plunger is completely discouraged, expel the press from your cup.

  Move your crisply fermented coffee to your preferred cup, and appreciate!

 At the point when it's a great opportunity to tidy up, basically expel the channel top from your AeroPress, hold it over your refuse can or composter, and push down the plunger to fly out the grounds. Wash everything with heated water, and you're prepared to make another cup.

 In case you're a devotee of espresso that is brisk and simple, yet at the same time tastes incredible, there's actually no explanation not to claim an AeroPress. It's an advantageous and integral asset to have in your espresso weapons store and entirely lenient in case you're figuring out how to make coffee or even simply stretching out from dribble espresso.

  The most effective method to Make Espresso with a Moka Pot

 A most loved in Europe and Latin America, and with espresso fans far and wide, the Moka pot probably won't be a coffee producer, yet it is a wonder of Italian building. It includes water pressure, through steam, to the blend, reenacting that particular coffee taste and feel.

 In case you're thinking about how to make coffee—or possibly the following best thing—like the espresso glitterati, a Moka pot is your answer.

 You'll require:

 Moka pot

Crisply broiled espresso beans

Burr espresso processor

Scale for espresso estimating (or a tablespoon)

Electric gooseneck pot or stovetop pot

A little spoon for mixing

 When you've gathered your apparatus and beans, it's a great opportunity to join group Moka.

 Measure and granulate 4 to 4½ teaspoons (.71-.78 oz. or on the other hand 20-22 grams) of espresso. Similarly as with the AeroPress technique, you'll need to crush your espresso to a fine, caster sugar surface.

 Add enough water to the base of your Moka pot to arrive at the fill line. Try not to stuff the supply, as this can waterlog your espresso and contrarily influence the flavor.

 Add the ground espresso to the channel bushel of the Moka pot.

  Connect the Moka pot's gushed top.

 Spot the gathered Moka pot on stovetop burner over medium warmth. The water in the lower chamber will bubble as it warms, and the weight will push a flood of espresso through the channel and into the upper chamber.

  Tune in for a murmuring sound.

 Search for the hazel dark colored froth that shows up only seconds before the espresso is totally done. At the point when the highest point of the Moka pot is loaded with espresso, expel it from the burner.

 Give the espresso in the upper chamber a speedy mix with the little spoon, and serve.

 Acing the Moka pot is as a lot of a craftsmanship as it is science—not actually an astonishment, given that the energetic little percolator hails from the place that is known for Da Vinci — and you'll most likely need to blend a couple of pots to get your espresso without flaw.

 That is a large portion of the fun, however, and once you've gotten the procedure down, you'll have a tasteful, and exemplary, approach to appreciate the coffee involvement with home.

[packersandmoversinpowai]

PACKERS AND MOVERS IN POWAI MUMBAI

Charges of Packers and Movers: Hiring packers and movers in Mumbai for moving is one of the ideal things that you can do so as to end moving at a positive note. On the off chance that you are procuring packers and movers for moving in Mumbai, at that point nothing can be vastly improved than this. In any case, do recollect that you have to pay them for what they are doing to you. While influencing the plan, to incorporate the charges of moving an organization first. How would you believe moving to be? Is it true that you are looking at it as another chance of life or accepting it as a major money related weight? In any case, both planned are correct. Moving is a chance yet so as to get a handle on that open door you have to make money trade-offs as well. It isn't at all incident that you will total moving without spending a solitary penny. You need a decent budgetary spending plan so as to effectively total the move. On the off chance that you truly wish to go oversaw in moving, at that point you have to make decent spend first. You should incorporate every single critical angle in the moving spending with the goal that things should be possible impeccably well. On the off chance that you are the first run through mover, or you simply wish to move dealt with this time, at that point we are telling here five vital things that you should incorporate into your move. Pressing Supply Charges: in the event that you would prefer not to hold up under the charges of moving the organization and need to DIY, at that point pressing supply is the main imperative necessity for you. Incorporate the charges of pressing supply in your moving spending plan. Utility Connection Charges: In request to carry on with your life easier at the new spot you need the specific administrations like power, water, link, web, paper, and so forth. For taking every one of these administrations at the new area you have to pay ahead of time, henceforth remember to incorporate it in your moving spending plan as well. Costs for Traveling: Whether, you are moving locally or making a long detachment move you should burn through cash on the going of the moving day. In the event that you are moving far away, at that point flight or train tickets in addition to food and hotel charges additionally should be incorporated into the equivalent. Random Charges: Other than all these vital things you ought to be set up for other undesirable things also. Be prepared with crisis reserves and various costs. Making a financial plan for the move is as much fundamental as pressing your things right. If there should arise an occurrence of a little blunder, you can experience a major pressure. Subsequently, oversee things legitimately from the earliest starting point with the goal that you can observe an upbeat closure of the equivalent. One approach to decrease moving expense is employing a moving organization inside the city. For instance, on the off chance that you are moving locally inside the city of Mumbai or moving from this city to another city of India then you should run with one of the dependable Packers and Movers in Mumbai since movers from different urban communities may cost you more. You can likewise lessen moving expense by pressing the things independent from anyone else. Who says that the way toward pressing and moving is simple, it isn't really. The individuals who are developed and have experienced the procedure before can oversee well with the challenges of move, however, shouldn't something be said about the understudies who are not impeccable in moving and moving things and at the interim need to focus on their investigations also. For the understudies in the middle of their examinations, it is actually quite hard to deal with this hardest assignment of moving. Here, we are referencing few of the most ideal ways following what they can have the most secure moving knowledge with their things and that too in a sorted out way. Understudies getting ready for a composed move can pursue the tips referenced beneath.

Contract Packers and Movers in Powai :

We realize this is going to cost you more, however, there are movers that particularly bargain in understudy's territory and charge sensible to them too. So as to ward off yourself from the problems of moving and moving your restricted things, you can enlist the moving organization and let them help out to you. On the off chance that you prevail with picking the believable packers and movers in Mumbai then you will get through moving arrangements and true serenity. Plan in Advance: on the off chance that you have chosen to do it by possess, what the vast majority of the understudies do, at that point begin pressing from the time you think about the move. Begin pressing your things in a sorted out way on the grounds that then again additionally you are going to manage the things. What are the things that you would convey the following goal is critical for you to know in light of the fact that being an understudy, you ought not to convey more? Impart: If you are moving to a loft from your inn then you should enlighten your proprietor concerning the move and the landing of the movers. This is vital on the grounds that more often than not the proprietors get aggravate by the movers.Give: Being an understudy, you could have numerous things that are of no more use to you. This may incorporate your books, old furnishings, stationery, and so forth. Keep in mind, an understudy's refuse can be a treasure for another in this way, give it or give it as a blessing to your youngsters or the individuals who need it. Make a Moving Budget: Being an understudy it is important for you to get things done according to your financial plan. You ought to dependably be monetarily arranged in light of the fact that you don't have a wellspring of salary and need to answer your folks about your costs. These are not many of the best ways that would make the move of understudies simple. Pursue the tips and have a sheltered drive to your new residence with the adored belongings that you involve. High detachment move is viewed as an intense assignment. Taking things to a more drawn out separation is troublesome on the grounds that there is more hazard in it. This is on the grounds that the additional time the things will take to achieve the goal, the more hazard will be there. Other than simply being a dangerous procedure, long detachment move is something much worried about cash also. Time is cash; this is an undeniable thing. The more you will spend on your moving, the more hazard there will be for your merchandise. Along these lines, in an aggregate way, saying this won't be right that long detachment is a dangerous just as cash expending process. 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[chal-converts-archive]

What’s the word limit for texts posts on Tumblr.com? Lmao I think we’re about to find out. Anyway, I wrote a long piece about last week’s parsha and the ostensibly anti-gay prohibitions and why I think they’re not what people like to make them out to be. I know this has been written on a lot, but I’d still definitely appreciate [constructive] feedback if you feel like slogging through it all.

Obviously under a cut for length.

(Seriously this thing clocks in at over 3700 words. Just fyi. Brevity is not one of my talents.) 

An analysis of the homosexual prohibitions in Leviticus

I know this has been analyzed by a lot of people and there are a number of alternative readings of these passages; however, I have yet to see one offered that I think is rather simple – almost obvious when you think about it – but I think a fair reading of them. [It’s worth noting that I’d be very surprised if this was a completely original argument; however, I have not yet seen a write-up of this theory and I’ve read up on this, so I thought I’d put it out there anyway.]

First, I think it’s worthwhile to briefly discuss my methodology and the reasons behind it. In my opinion, the overall message of the Torah is to protect human rights and to encourage loving relationships between people. Ergo, a total ban on all homosexual relationships – no matter how loving, consensual, supportive, and overall life-affirming they may be – runs counter to this message and purpose. Furthermore, it descends into the realm of cruelty when the alternative to a happy, healthy same-gender relationship is to deny a truly homosexual person access to a healthy partnership altogether. Of course, a gay man or lesbian could marry an opposite-gender friend and theoretically build a somewhat happy life with that person. That is the best possible scenario if the anti-gay interpretation of these laws is enforced. However, I think most people would agree that there is a world of difference between the love that happens between friends and the partnership of a lover. More likely, however, is that the sham marriage is built on half-truths and lies and will only lead to heartbreak later down the line. Or, the gay or lesbian person lives a celibate, solitary life, which sociological science has shown overwhelmingly leads to unhappiness, unhealthiness, and earlier death. To deny gays and lesbians the full benefit of kiddushin is therefore an unnecessary cruelty.

Bisexuality is a somewhat different conversation, because while bisexuals may find themselves able to form happy, healthy relationships with same gender folks, they also have the capacity to do so with an opposite gender partner as well. They are therefore not forced into the same cruel position as someone who could not be happy in a cis-het relationship. However, it still denies them a major aspect of self-expression. Transgender people are a whole other conversation unto ourselves, so I will focus only on binary cis men and women for this discussion.

From what I have learned so far, even if we are to take the Torah as directly from G-d and the covenant as binding, the interpretation of the Torah and the covenantal law is something that is entirely in the hands of humanity. We were given the source material, but what we do with it is “not in the heavens.” In light of that ideology, it is up to us to interpret the Torah in ways that make sense for each age and that safeguard human rights. It’s one thing to argue over whether chickens should be considered “fleischig” for kashrut purposes, seeing as they do not produce milk – and entirely another to argue over whether an entire class of people should be allowed to enter into healthy, fulfilling partnerships. The former has consequences only insofar as our religious practices goes, but does not fundamentally dehumanize or injure anyone. The latter does. This is particularly poignant the more we learn about human sexuality and the more studies show that it is a completely natural and immutable variation.

Over the years, the position of people with disabilities has changed to reflect our improved understanding of human variation and recognition of human rights. And although there is still a lot of work to be done, the position of women has changed over the years as well. The assumption that these groups were less intelligent (rather than that their society had not bothered to educate them) is offensive to modern sensibilities, and therefore our interpretations have shifted to improve their standing. This is merely yet another area of natural human variation that deserves recognition and the search for readings that protect their fundamental dignity and human rights.

Additionally, this is not a morally grey area. Few moral debates are this simple, to be quite frank. LGBQ+ sexuality does not harm a single person or have deleterious effects on any community that cannot be better attributed to homophobia. Reproduction is not a valid argument in an age of modern reproductive technology, in a country where we have quite a lot of children who need loving foster and adoptive homes, and where we completely embrace infertile, aged, and sterile heterosexual couples. In no way is it morally comparable to other banned sexual expressions, which absolutely do have corrosive and violent effects. Incest destroys the integrity of the family structure and almost always involves abusive power dynamics. Bestiality is a particularly egregious expression of cruelty to animals, who are incapable of consent. Pedophilia is child sexual abuse and has seriously damaging effects on its victims. Homosexuality is not comparable to any of these in intent or effect and therefore any slippery slope argument is invalid.

Therefore, we can easily conclude that there is no practical harm in creating a supportive environment for LGBQ+ individuals, while a significant amount of harm stems from repression of homosexuality. Ergo, objections to same-gender partnerships are rooted in religious arguments alone. We turn to those now.

My view is not that we should distort the Torah or give it disingenuous readings merely to get to a preferred answer. Rather, if what we see on the page runs counter to our sense of compassion and human rights, then the flaw is not with the Torah or with G-d, but rather our interpretation of it. We simply do not understand it correctly yet.

A fair challenge to this assertion might be, “Why would G-d make it so difficult to find a genuine and compassionate reading, then?” My answer to this is twofold: First, when has reading and comprehending Torah ever been easy? Second, I think that we’re meant to react negatively to some of these passages. There are plenty of other parts of the Torah that range from baffling to outright offensive. I think that G-d presented us with these as challenges to our compassion; will we be obedient and mindlessly enforce cruel edicts as “G-d’s will,” or, like Abraham, will we demand that the Judge of the Universe rule fairly? We might struggle with these verses, but ultimately, will we not emerge victorious, insisting that G-d’s word be read in the light most compassionate to people of all walks of life? Perhaps more importantly – what does it say about our understanding of G-d if we don’t insist on finding a compassionate understanding?

Another point about my methodology – I think any interpretation of the Torah that requires us to deny reality or scientific progress is not only counterproductive and incorrect, but actively flies in the face of G-d’s gift of intelligence and the power of the human mind and is therefore actively anti-religious. We are a curious species and our ingenuity is especially exemplary of our being b’tzelem Elohim; to stick our heads in the sand instead of exploring and learning about this vast, gorgeous creation we were entrusted with on religious grounds is itself a perverse use of the Torah.

A couple of assumptions I tend to make in my analyses: Our ancestors/spiritual predecessors were very concerned about creating a fair, safe, sanitary, moral, and orderly society in the context of their historical circumstances; and, they knew more than we modern folks often like to give them credit for. They may not have had the advantage of the scientific advances we’ve made by this point in the twenty-first century, but they were intelligent and observant of their surroundings. Ergo, there are usually reasons for prohibitions or expectations, most of which were likely based on their observations of the world. I think it’s reasonable to imagine that they carefully watched the results of certain actions, noticed patterns, and assumed that the natural law was one and the same as divine Law; if the Creator of all things structured the world in such a way that certain actions or foods caused sickness and death, then it was a message that these things were immoral or forbidden, even if we weren’t completely sure of why.

Some of these observations were likely idiosyncratic or due to chance; however, I think it’s also reasonable to assume that some were due to a lack of modern sanitation and refrigeration or other technology. In light of our progress to date, it’s worthwhile to look at this latter category with the purpose of understanding what they were trying to accomplish. If we can suss out these underlying values, we can better come up with a modern equivalent that is actually equivalent. Many of what these laws were intended to accomplish in their day have completely unrelated and unintended effects when held to completely literally in the modern world. However, the underlying values are often universal and speak to us just as clearly today as they did thousands of years ago. I think it’s important to honor these values as much as possible, even if our means of doing so looks very different today than it did then.

With all that in mind, I now turn to the verses in question.

A lot of the analyses of these Leviticus verses I’ve seen bend over backwards to read it as saying something other than what it seems to be saying, or to contextualize it out of relevance. Alternatively, they fundamentally alter how we read the Torah. These verses do not pose a threat to the Reform movement’s support for LGBQ+ rights, of course, because they are not held to be binding on modern Jews. However, I don’t think you need to analyze the Torah strangely or disingenuously or fundamentally alter how you read the Torah to find a compassionate reading of these verses, even if you view the covenant as binding and the Torah as G-d given. That said, I also don’t think the traditionalist reading of these passages of Leviticus is particularly accurate. Let me explain.

So in this section, we see a lot of prohibitions on forbidden forms of sexuality. Most of them relate to incest and a couple to bestiality – things that the overwhelming majority of the population rightly agrees are immoral. It’s worth looking at the framing of these other prohibitions, because that will tell us something about how to understand the construction of the passages about homosexuality. My training is in law, and within secular legal analysis, one common method for interpreting a statute is to read it in context with itself under the assumption that author formulated not only the ideas but the written structure of the statute itself with intent. If we assume that the Torah was written – or at least inspired by – the ultimate Author, it seems reasonable to use this approach here.  

Two things immediately leap out to me when I read these passages together in context. First, the structure of the sentence, while consistent between the two verses in question, is completely different than the other verses in this section. Second, it specifically addresses male homosexuality, and only male homosexuality, despite clearly addressing women’s sexual behavior in the other verses.

Observation #1. I think it’s pretty clear that these verses are talking about sex, and likely not addressing rape. (I don’t want to totally invalidate that possible reading of it, but that has been explored much more eloquently elsewhere.) A cheeky reading of this would be to take “lies” literally rather than to read it as a metaphor for sex; that seems unreasonable given the fact that the other verses pretty explicitly refer to sex and this euphemism is used elsewhere to mean sex. So I think we can pretty safely read “lies with” as “has sex with.”

What isn’t clear to me, however, and what I think the traditional readings of it fail to address, is that the sentence construction differs from the other prohibitions in a way that seems pretty significant. Where the other verses flatly prohibit “uncovering the nakedness” of one’s family members or simply say “lies with,” these verses both go out of their way to say “lies with a male as one lies with a woman.” In traditional readings of this, this distinction is seen as a way of emphasizing that the prohibition is sexual in nature, but this explanation is incredibly weak. Considering that the euphemism here is consistently used in a sexual context, and the verses both occur in lists of sexual prohibitions, there’s absolutely no need to clarify that this isn’t referring to simply sharing a tent with another man.

Reading it this way renders this additional phrasing superfluous, which is problematic if you believe in Divine authorship, considering the teaching that every letter in the Torah has its own purpose and is important in its own right. In fact, one of the traditional rules of construction in interpreting Torah is that you don’t render any part of it superfluous. The fact that this additional phrasing is repeated in both verses makes this problematic even if you believe in human authorship, because it indicates that this isn’t merely a flowery way of framing the issue, but an essential piece of the verse. Furthermore, it’s clear from the preceding and following verses that the author(s) knew how to flatly state the law, making it less likely that this is simply wordiness.

Therefore, it makes sense to give some serious consideration to what the purpose of this disambiguation is. “Do not lie with a male as one lies with a woman” begs the question of, “as opposed to…?” which contains another, deeper question: If a disambiguation is necessary, then it inherently means that not all sex between men is prohibited. If all sex with men was prohibited, then the human author(s) or Author, having stated a total bar for other forbidden relations without a problem directly above and below these verses, could have simply said, “Do not lie with another man.” Or, perhaps, “Do not uncover the nakedness of another man.” That is not what either verse says, inherently limiting the scope of the prohibition.

If the prohibition is whatever sex a man could have that is the same as sex with a woman, then the question becomes one of how to construe the meaning of “as one lies with a woman.” To understand the scope of the actual prohibition, we must understand what it means to lie with a woman [as a man.]

As important as this is, I will leave this question for a moment and move on to another important consideration:

Observation #2 – this prohibition is limited to male/male relationships. Female/female relationships are not prohibited here or anywhere else. If the intent was to enforce heterosexual relationships, or at a minimum, to prevent homosexual sexuality, then either these verses should have said something to the effect of, “Do not lie with one of the same sex as yourself,” or correlating phrases specifying that female/female relationships are equally verboten should have also been included.

The argument that this is simply another instance of the “universal man” or masculine default that is common in the Torah holds absolutely no water in a list that explicitly prohibits women from committing bestiality. While the incest clauses are not directly addressed to women, they do not need to be; enjoining the men from these relationships has the same result as banning it for both sexes. Bestiality is likely singled out because no human male need be involved if a woman were to commit this offense. Therefore, enjoining men alone would effectively allow it for women in a way that is not the case for the incest clauses. However, by definition, a woman lying with another woman as she would with a man creates the possibility of a sexual encounter that excludes men entirely and therefore cannot be prevented by verses aimed at men.

Nor can the inverse simply be implied. The Author or author(s) of this list were clearly concerned enough about women’s sexual conduct to include the female equivalent of the male bestiality prohibition. It was therefore contemplated that women had enough sexual agency to commit despicable acts that must be forbidden explicitly. Should there have been an equal concern for female/female relationships, it could easily have been added, and this cannot be chalked up to an instance where women’s sexual agency and resulting conduct simply wasn’t contemplated. Clearly the concept that women could commit obscene acts all on their own was contemplated and directly addressed.

What are we to do with this information? Well, to me it’s a clue that says look closer – not everything is as it appears. If nothing else, it tells us that the moral concern wasn’t same sex partnerships as a category of behavior. The specific concern was regarding sex between men as one lies with a woman. So let us return to that question.

What does it mean for a man to lie with a woman?

Unfortunately, the text doesn’t give us any clear idea of what specific class of sexual acts was being contemplated here. The only sexual act that one could commit with a woman that one could not commit with a man is vaginal intercourse. As it would be impossible (barring an understanding of trans folks that stretches the boundaries of credulity) to have vaginal intercourse with another man, this understanding of the verse would render it superfluous. So this cannot be the answer.

Other arguments have said that the difference is power-related; that men at the time were considered sexual agents in a way that women were not, and therefore penetrating a man was to dishonor him. While I won’t entirely disregard that possibility, as person raised as a girl, as a non-binary person who is still socially read as a woman quite often, and as a feminist, I have serious problems with this argument. Even if it may be historically accurate, hinging the argument for the equal rights of LGBQ+ folks on the concept that sex is something that is done to women by men rather than an equal, consensual relationship builds a house on a foundation of sand. Yes, you can argue that this seemingly degrading interpretation actually leads to a prohibition on rape (of anyone) but this argument feels very circular to me. Furthermore, there are several examples of rape in the Tanakh, and so the known distinction between a regular heterosexual relationship (regardless of the very real gendered power dynamic involved) and rape elsewhere undermines this interpretation.

More importantly, I don’t think you have to get that deep into implications or obscurities to find a perfectly reasonable alternative to a total ban on sex between men. I have already explained my theory that the prohibition only applies to a sub-class of sexual activity between men; now the only remaining work to be done is to parse out what that distinction actually is.

If I may make what seems like an almost too-simple suggestion: The point is the distinction itself.

There are two paths one can go from here, and it depends on your interpretation of the mitzvot. If you are of the school of thought that the rational justifications for any mitzvah are completely irrelevant because the be-all, end-all reason for doing them is because G-d asked us to, then the analysis is very simple. If, on the other hand, you are of the school of thought that needs some kind of rational reason for engaging in or refraining from something aside from simply as a promise to Hashem, then the analysis is a bit more complex. Either way, the argument stands.

In the first stream of thought, there are many places in the Torah where G-d asks us to make distinctions between one thing and another, and many times this is gendered. Within even this same section, we are asked not to mix fibers, as one example. There is no rational explanation for this (as far as I’m aware) and yet it is asked of us. Therefore, it shouldn’t surprise us that G-d would ask men to make a distinction between the way they engage in sex with men versus the way they engage in sex with women. For heterosexual men, this is not a concern, because they will not want to engage in sex with men at all. Similarly, for homosexual men, this not a concern because they will not be engaging in sex with women at all. The distinction is made by the person’s sexuality alone. However, for men who engage in sex with men and women (or at least have the capacity to be attracted to either men or women) a distinction must be made. Because it is not specifically stated what this distinction must be, it seems reasonable to suggest that the bisexual man in question determine what that distinction needs to be for himself.

However, to address the other stream of thought – I do have a suggestion for one way to think about this. Going back to my earlier commentary about the history and intelligence of these ancient peoples, it’s worth considering this from a practical standpoint. Many of these rules seem to be intended to protect the public health, and I think this falls into that camp. At that time, without the benefit of sterile lubricant and condoms (or other barriers), anal sex ran a much higher risk of injury and infection. After watching enough men become sick from engaging in anal sex with other men, it’s likely that they noted the pattern (and probably associated the practice with the pagans they were so concerned about distinguishing themselves from) and deduced that it must be displeasing to G-d. Meanwhile, the natural lubrication of the vagina, as well as its acidity prevents most of these types of infections and injuries. The observed difference then, was a safe/unsafe distinction.

With modern sanitation and safer sex methods, I would argue that a useful modern distinction could be that while a man having sex with a woman may sometimes not want to use a protective barrier for reproductive purposes, men who also want to have sex with men should always use protection when doing so. This preserves the value of public health by promoting safer sex, as well as the command to make a distinction between sexual methods with men and women. Furthermore, it doesn’t require any mental gymnastics, alternative methods of reading the Torah, or hinge on the degradation of women.