#and whatever is just funny to me because it’s not as if lewis cares

[coff33andb00ks]

hello viv, the best viv of all the viv ily🥇🫶🏻

54+LH44🤭

my babe my darling loml 🫶🏻

warnings: body insecurities

driver + number = drabble <3

"Ugh!"

Lewis glances up at the sound of your frustrated groan and lets out a sigh, sinking back against the pillows while you continue rummaging through your closet. "Get comfy, Roscoe, mum's gonna be a while."

Roscoe whines and flops dramatically next to Lewis.

"It's not funny, I have nothing to wear," you sigh, hands on your hips as you survey your clothes.

Lewis hums. "Be honest."

You wrinkle your nose. "I'm being honest. Nothing to wear."

"All that stuff from Dior last week is just... Decoration?" Lewis asks. There's a grunt and you hear his bare feet on the floor. "Baby?"

"I'm bloated and nothing fits right," you mumble, glancing up to see him framed in the doorway. He still takes your breath away when you see him, and you hope he always will. You're not quite as bad as when you first met, when you were so struck by his beauty your mouth had flapped like a fish for five minutes and the only thing you'd been able to say was a high-pitched hello while your face turned crimson. Smiling faintly at the memory - because, somehow, he'd been interested enough to seek you out to talk more later - you turned back to the clothes. "I'm so not a fashion girlie, I don't even know why I still try."

"Wear whatever you want." It's not condescending or him giving up. He truly means it and you know he doesn't care what you put on. Your first "date" had been him in sweats and a t-shirt and you in leggings and a hoodie, eating takeout in the Mercedes motorhome after a race.

"I just want to look good for you." You sigh, picking through the pile of high end fashion items you'd discarded.

"You always look–"

"I want people to think I'm worthy of being on your arm." The words slip out and you immediately regret them, because you already know what he's going to say.

"Who the fuck cares what people think?"

That's new.

"The only two people whose opinions matter are right here, baby," he says softly.

"I know." And you do. But sometimes–

"C'mere," he murmurs, holding out his arms.

You want to say no. To be sullen and sulk. But you're walking over already, tucking your arms around his waist, your body slotting against his as he wraps you in his embrace.

"This?" he whispers. "This fits perfectly."

"It does," you agree.

"It's all I care about when it comes to you."

"Gonna make me cry, Lew."

He chuckles, kissing your forehead. "Get some clothes on, baby."

"This fits perfectly."

[earl-grey-teacake]

i am so in love with the baby AU like omg you are THE BEST❤️❤️ Can you explain how the babies are reacting to the other drivers? (like how would oscar react if max pick him up etc.) i’m going to support this fic and your upcoming works too!! sending you much hugs🫶🩷

Thank you so much!!! I’m so happy you enjoy it!!!❤️❤️❤️ I can absolutely explain!

I gave brief overviews, I can absolutely go in-depth if you want me to. Just shoot me an ask! 😊

Max Verstappen

Logan and Oscar is very chill around Max. Max gives fun uncle vibes and honestly, he’s ecstatic about being an uncle. It’s like being a parent without all the responsibility and obligations of being a parent. He’s the kind of uncle that takes them on hot laps and throws them in the air much to the chagrin of their parents.

When they both start karting, he is the most competitive guest they ever invited. Like sure the parents are competitive, but Max is there for support and pulling Logan aside to tell him it's okay to send the kid that tried hit him in practice into the barrier to "teach them a lesson".

Checo Perez

They both like him. He doesn’t interact with them a lot but if they were in need of a babysitter, Checo is on the list. He’s responsible, listens to them babble on and on because that’s what he does with Max, and remember to feed them healthy food.

Charles Leclerc

Charles is great with kid. He loves kids.

Logan likes Charles a lot. He finds Charles really funny and in turn, Charles bribes Logan with vanilla ice cream and lets him play with Leo. He also dresses Logan up in either Ferrari merch or his own stuff to take photos and mess with the others. He also bought a Ferrari stroller to take Logan and Oscar around Monaco in. He is committed to turning them into Ferrari fans because everybody is a Ferrari fan.

Oscar is a little bit difficult to get into Ferrari merch. He is devoted to papaya and will squirm as they try to put a red t-shirt on him. Charles will sometimes pick him up from Lando's and Carlos's place in Monaco just to hand out with him. He can be seen walking Leo and pushing a Ferrari stroller on his way to lunch.

Fernando Alonso

Alonso is great with kids. He has a lot of energy which freaked Logan out at first but he quickly became a favorite. Fernando will put Logan up to things to scare his parents, mainly George. He’s convinced Logan to tell his parents and their team that Aston Martin is his favorite team and went as far as to train Logan to cheer when the Aston Martin appear on screen.

Oscar finds him annoying but Alonso finds Oscar hilarious. He's onboard for the Alpine hate. He finds Oscar silence funny and likes to mess with him to get a response. Oscar's response is a frustrated yell and bats his arms at Alonso.

Lewis Hamilton

Both children are in awe and a little bit of fear. Lewis has a vibe around him that seems otherworldly and the kids recognize it. He’s very fun to be around and he gets them a lot of snacks so they are always on their best behavior around him. Logan is constantly being held by him and Lewis holds full on conversations as Logan babbles and points. Oscar is silent the entire time he is held by Lewis, thought whether it is because of anxiety or because he's naturally silent, one cannot tell.

Lance Stroll

In one word, STRESSED. This man is stressed out at the idea of taking care of children and the children are both stressed out by him and for him. If one of them cries all three of them are crying. However, when they aren’t stressed out, Lance is the one who gives the most treats. Candy, cookies, expensive fruit, whatever they want. They are most peaceful when they are sat in a circle together sharing a box of cookies.

Yuki Tsunoda

Weirded out by babies. The can't walk on their own, have to be held, eat only pureed food- Yuki is not a fan. Is one of those people who just cannot hold babies. He sort of dangles them as they wiggle around. An unpleasant situation for both of them. The children, when they were younger were not a fan of being held by him.

He does however, enjoy their company when they are older and can eat solid food. He is committed to having them try a lot of different foods and they love the fact they get different foods all the time. It's really hard to live on a diet of only British food.

Daniel Ricciardo

This man is a child at heart. The kids find him hilarious and Daniel finds them incredibly amusing. He loves messing with Oscar by showing him clips of Alpine. He drives them around in his sports cars, takes them to petting zoos, overall fun uncle vibes.

Logan loves being around him. At first, he was really shy and Daniel's outgoing-ness only seemed to spook him but he warmed up after that. Oscar also finds him very funny but is very reactive to the Alpine clips.

Valtteri Bottas

Valtteri is great with the kid. They find Valterri incredibly amusing and funny. He's also the kind of person who would throw the kids in the air and catch them.

He is closer to Logan simply because of his proximity to Mercedes and Lewis. Logan sees him as one of the fun uncles in comparison to Lewis, who is more calm and reserved.

Zhou Guanyu

Oscar and Zhou get along very well. Both are very quiet and are content just being there. When spending time with him, Oscar is silently doing his thing while Zhou does his own stuff. It's a very compatible relationship.

Logan on the other hand, requires a bit more stimuli. He's easily entertained by videos of Zhou's cat, Sweetcorn. Logan loves animals put he can't have his own pet with al the traveling and they don't visit the UK a lot so Logan is very excited to see Zhou's cat, who is absolutely adorable.

***I am grouping them together since the response is very similar. I also find them to be much mellower people (with the exception of Alpine).

Nico Hulkenberg and Kevin Magnussen

Both of the kids interact very little with the Haas drivers. Both the drivers are also responsible parents so they interaction that they have had are always positive.

Logan has been mistaken to be their kid before. He's a blonde and green-eyed, he looks more like one of the Haas kids then Alex and George's.

Esteban Ocon and Pierre Gasly

Oscar is not a fan of both of them due to them being Alpine drivers. If they come to Oscar in non-Alpine clothes Oscar is fairly chill but since they are usually wearing their team kit, Oscar goes into a full-blown meltdown. We're talking screaming, crying, hiding behind Andrea and Zak as if the Alpine is going to come alive and eat him.

Logan doesn't interact with the drivers outside races and a majority of the time, his interactions are heavily influenced by Oscar's freak out. Oscar, in all his protectiveness, will not let Logan be near them lest his best friend be harmed.

Logan's one interaction outside of the paddock and without Logan was when Alex was invited to a Redbull event with the current and former drivers. George had refused to go on principle seeing as he called them out for their treatment of Alex and the fact he raced for one of their rivals. Logan was sat next to Pierre at the dinner where he was fed different types of cheeses the whole time because they wanted to his reactions. He also found out he is not a big fan of chevre cheese.

Thank you so much for the ask! I hope you like it.❤️

Sending hugs🥰 Please feel free to send more asks❤️

[teamnick]

So...as someone asked if i could do a part 2 of my favorite piarles moments and i said yes...here we go ig. 😅 (here is part 1)

2017 mini interview with ted kravitz...they are babies here omg, with adorable accents, talking about wanting to be like Kimi or Lewis...practicing their autographs...🥹🥹

Pierre supporting Charles at the Prema pitwall, in his first F2 race after his father's death. Their friendship is soso special, even when you take away all the shippy aspects of it. They genuinely care about each other and the love is always there. 💗

In the same way, they were there for one another in 2019 when Anthoine passed away, comforting each other in the ferrari motorhome...Pierre asking Charles to win for their friend (as Pierre no longer had the machinery to do so). And Charles has done it. 🫶

2019 secret santa!! Charles has gifted Pierre a team radio recording of both screaming - Charles after his win in Spa, Pierre after his P2 at Interlagos. I just think its such a thoughtful and funny gift, and Pierre is such a cutie omg..."It's Charles, no? Makes sense now, everything makes sense. Me and Charles are basically saying the same thing...well that's not the first time! 😃" (sir, pls elaborate??)

Them almost arriving late to one of the FPs in Brazil 2022 because of...traffic. Yes. Sure. 😌😌 look at these idiots (affectionate):

A video interview with Pierre in 2021 where one of the questions was "choose one driver to take on a desert island"... ofc he chose Charles and his reasoning is fascinating to me. "He's the one I have the most fun with...he's the one I know the longest, and I know we will not argue...thats important to me."

Piarles asking some passengers on a late-night flight to move so that they could sit together PLS. thats just too cute.

Whatever was going on in Monza 2019...as someone said, if you look up carnal desire in the dictionary, they'd show you this:

Matching outfits in the eras tour (which could mean nothing!!):

Monaco hug in 2024. All. Time. The way Charles' smile becomes brighter when he sees its Pierre...Pierre's huuuge grin...him calling Charles the prince of Monaco later on in his own interview aksjfjdks all the feels!!

Monaco tennis date 2023...they looked sooo good and relaxed, having fun...🥹🫶

I could go on and on, but then this post would be never-ending 😅 so i'm gonna stop here...and everyone is more than welcome to share their favorite piarles moments with me via dm or an ask, i'm curious! 🥰

[luminouslywriting]

Hi, how are you? I hope you're feeling well. I really like everything you write about the band of brothers. I was wondering if you could write a headcanon about "what would the boys be like as friends or best friends?", the reader being a company doctor. I hope you can do it and if you can't, don't worry, no problem. Thank you!!!🫶

Darling, platonic BFF friendships are literally the thing that makes my brain the happiest!! I could go on and on and on about this for EVER! Hopefully it will live up to the hype I have about it in my head lol. If you want me to expand on anyone's or do a more in-depth post, let me know!

Cut for length, more under the cut, obnoxious amounts of found family present:

Dick Winters:

-Listen, this man is prime best friend material. We all see how he is when he's with Lew and how he treats him. He's so loyal and devoted and respectful.

-The fact that you're a medic/doctor automatically means he appreciates you more—and if you can figure out how to make this man relax or rest, bonus points haha.

-Respects your limits and boundaries but wants what's best for you—so he's paying attention to if you're overworked or discouraged and trying to counteract those things the best that he can

-Gives the most comforting brotherly hugs??

-Also the best person to go to if you need to vent or just need some good advice; he is a great listener and doesn't automatically try to fix your problems as much as he does offer support and sympathy

-Always has your back and consistently just wants you to be happy. He definitely vets anyone that you date ever haha.

Lewis Nixon:

-Chaotic best friend energy is strong with this one. He's a chaotic mess of a person but is so ride or die for you it's not even funny.

-Being able to finish each other's sentences because of predictability and the way that he knows you so well

-Is always down to share a drink with you if he notices you're having a hard time or going through something emotional. But he doesn't ever let you get tipsy or drunk. You're his sobriety link tbh.

-The type of friend where you call each other teasing names to get each other's attention. Hypothetically, he might be referred to as the wife in your mind lol.

-Has money and is not afraid to splurge to get you stuff that he deems necessary because "at least one person in this friendship needs that and it's not me."

-If he knows you're overworked, he's kidnapping you for naps and he's a cuddler (like a damn cat or something haha)

Ronald Speirs:

-It's the mutual respect that he has for you and admiration—this man is a great friend and would take any number of risks to ensure your safety

-You're his safe space and so he loves being able to talk with you about anything and everything—but especially about what the two of you are feeling. This probably stems from you just not being scared of him in any way haha.

-Is also the type of friend who goes klepto for you?? Like he's in his little thief moments and just like, my bestie would like this, and then proceeds to steal said thing for you

-Takes the time to check in with you as often as he can and makes sure that you're resting—is lowkey a mother hen when you need him to be haha

-Is the type of friend where you never need to actually say what you're thinking, the both of you can just share a look and know exactly what movie quote you're both thinking of, what Lipton needs to calm down, or how best the situation will go.

-Also is super supportive and a hype-man for whatever you want to do with your life. He just wants you to thrive and fulfill your potential.

Buck Compton:

-OLDER BROTHER VIBES OKAY?? This is the type of person who likes to take people under his wing and he absolutely becomes fond of you because of how much you take care of other people.

-That being said, he's also the aggressive type of friend that's just like, "Oh??? You're overworked? Nap time then. Like right now."

-Loves swapping stories with you and talking about college. Also wants you to go to college though—preferably the same college so that the two of you can be friends there too.

-Gives really comforting hugs and is great at expressing gratitude and affirming that you're doing a good job

-Probably loves going out and playing darts or any number of games with you, especially if you're competitive

-Also down to watch any number of movies that you claim to be good and offers his own opinion lol

Carwood Lipton:

-An actual nervous mother hen that is consistently making sure you have enough supplies, that emotions are doing okay, and that you're getting the rest that you need

-Is the type of person who would give you his coat or jacket off of his back because "I told you it was cold, take my sweater." type of vibes haha.

-Wants to hear about your family back home and about your hopes for the future—is super positive about you making it home.

-Also talks to you about pretty much anything, including his girlfriend back home and wants you to approve of her haha

-Would absolutely make you share a foxhole with him because he can keep a closer eye on bestie that way

-He's just a giver??? So he's constantly sharing food or blankets or whatever it is that he thinks you might need. Top tier best friend tbh.

Joseph Liebgott:

-Chaos gremlin personified—this is the type of friend who's going to drag you into all sorts of trouble and also get you out of said trouble with ease

-He's a very touchy best friend and so hugs and cuddles are just to be expected

-Would throw hands if someone disrespected you because you're the only person he truly respects lol....and this also applies to you. The type of friend who aggressively tells you that he loves you and you need to be nicer to yourself.

-He's out here not wanting you to fall in love because, "I remember the day I saw you in that hospital bed—"

"You weren't there!"

"And I knew then that no one would ever be good enough for Y/N."

-You are the only person who can touch his chocolate stash and keep your life

-Also just wants you to come back to Cali with him and adopt you into his family

Donald Malarkey:

-A sweet friend who is great at emotional support. That being said, give him some support as well.

-Probably loves swapping jokes and telling stories with you—spreads stories about how amazing you are as well

-Wants you to come to Oregon and have a camping trip with his family because you're like family to him

-Also fiercely protective of you and consistently worrying about if something will happen to you if you're on the line or even when you're not.

-Runs all of his life plans by you because he wants your approval for sure

-Is super happy that he has you in his life because you're a great listener and you just understand him

Eguene Roe:

-THE ICONIC OF ALL ICONIC FRIENDSHIPS....listen, this friendship is so soulmate platonic, it's not even funny. He practically worships the ground that you walk on and respects the hell out of you.

-Definitely has a whole list of nicknames for you in French and has tried teaching you some of the language

-Tells you old Southern stories to try and keep your mind off of work at night time and he loves hearing any stories that you can come up with

-The both of you can call each other out on burnout or if you're overworked or stressed out. It's a great mutual way that you take care of each other.

-He prays for you all of the time and wrote home about you because you're his best friend

-The two of you work so well together that it sometimes throws everyone else off because you don't even need to talk when you're working together.

Bill Guarnere:

-Ride or die icon who is so vocal about adoring you that it probably annoys everyone else. And if you're not from Philly, he's about to become very patriotic about wherever you're from

-The type of friend who wants to hear about everything you're looking for in a partner so he can start vetting people ASAP

-Would share pretty much anything with you—coat, shoes, food, blankets, etc.

-Checks in on you frequently and definitely views you as the patron saint of easy company

-Wants to travel with you around the world after all of this is over

-Promises you a proper meal and a place to stay if you ever want to come and visit

Joe Toye:

-It's giving the quiet friend who always has your back and would throw hands for you, if given the chance.

-That being said, fiercely overprotective and gets annoyed if you get put in any danger or if anything happens to you.

-Also kind of a huffy friend where he's just like, "I told you that you needed a break. This is the worst." And then proceeds to take care of you anyway.

-Finds ways to make things fun for you no matter what's going on in the war and just wants you to smile

-Also gives really great hugs and loves physical contact and affection

-His family has definitely heard all about you lol

George Luz:

-You must truly understand his humor on another level because he thinks that YOU are the funniest person that he knows. Even if it's not true, he simply finds you to be the best.

-Would proudly brag about you to all of the other companies

-Appreciates hugs and cuddles, especially after Bastogne

-Is the type of friend who would hide a body for you, no questions asked lol—so he's definitely your alibi whenever you've gotten up to some mischief

-Has verbally eviscerated someone who was talking shit about you because he's just not having it

-Lowkey would move in with you after the war because you're his safe person

[httpsserene]

my bahrain 2024 grand prix recap:

if it were anybody but max in p1 and they had the same exact race with the same exact lead on p2, they would’ve been driver of the day. did i still vote for carlos, yes.

a ferrari p3 and p4 is a win—i don’t care what people say 😤 we have to celebrate this as a win because it may never happen again this season. that being said,,, if i hear “we are checking” more than two times in a race, i am cutting somebodies head off at ferrari, and until an improved result is shown more heads will roll :)

did i expect anything different in mercedes’ performance today? no. am i still upset? yes. overall: if both george and lewis could qualify high i think they could have relatively gold race results. they’ve got to find a way of avoiding traffic and dirty air to prevent them from lifting and coasting, but alas, that is inevitable in formula one.

mclaren…i actually am mildly indifferent about my boys. obviously i want them to be higher up as i HOPE the car has made more improvements from last year. i want a lando win, and plenty of lando or oscar on podiums! i need menace mclaren annoying the hell out of red bull this year!

visacashappracingbulls….what the fuck was that at the end 😀 perhaps invest in future planning if you want to overtake a haas. that was embarrassing a lil but. i feel for yuki but i also feel for daniel.

williams; i haven’t looked into what happened with logan but i will be checking! i want him and alex to both do well, and at least have one of them get points today but, it is what it is. i feel like it’ll come in time tho

alpine, go ahead and clock out! if they DNS every race from this point forward they will probably have the same amount of point even if they raced. which is 0 LMAO 😭

aston; same as mercedes really qualify higher and perhaps they will end the race better (truly i think, maybe, that can be said for anyone LMAO but i mean in the sense that they could maintain a higher position better than other teams regardless of their qualifying position if that makes sense?)

stake, sauber, kick, whatever the hell um you’re definitely on the track. i couldn’t miss the car if i tried. also couldn’t miss that 56 second pit stop!

anita max wynn

lewis has such a fat ass that it broke the seat

give me my damn pitstop times CONSISTENTLY. it was funny seeing the 52 from sauber but hell not seeing the others

oscar tried to stay ahead of lewis and it didn’t work but it was a good attempt! keep the confidence up bestie

i did not forget about george potentially leaking fluid at one point or charles’ breaks, or lewis’ battery, or the entire mercedes car—but im just happy it’s over lmao

ONE RACE IN NO DNF, NO CRASHES, NO RED FLAGS, how long will this last?!!!

i’ll see y’all next saturday with another race recap 🫡

[leclerced]

Bunny on her period… it’s like a week off from fun stuff for everyone and Lando with Oscar take care of her because she’s dying and cursing and she can either cry because of anything and everything or she can yell at everything and anything. I can see her snapping on drivers. She doesn’t even register it but cameras do and she just storms through the paddock and Lewis sees her and wants to talk about something and she yells at him and he’s like “I’m sorry that I’m alive?” While standing in the middle of the paddock because she already walked away. Charles and Max are trying to tease her like always but regret it straight away when she glares at them and doesn’t say a word to them for the rest of the day. Mark tried to catch up with her because she’s walking so fast and he saw what happened so he wants to help but Binny is just like “Don’t even try and comfort me or some other bullshit. Be at least three meters away from me please”. Even Seb becomes her victim but with much less vigour then the others. She sees him and is like “Not. Today. I just need Oscar and Lando” so he doesn’t say anything just takes her to them and with a sympathetic smile leaves Bunny with them.

I feel like Lando immediately curls with her on the bed and starts massaging her belly while whispering words of comfort to her. Oscar walks around for a bit and collects everything that they’ll need, medicines, heating pad, snack and with all that he also lies with her. They are the perfect boyfriends that she needs on these days. Others also click what’s going on because Oscar told them there’ll be no funny business this week and they all want to do something nice for her and buy her favourites snacks or things that they think will cheer her up and they are delivered through Osc or Lando.

And if there are speculations on the internet about why the hell does Lewis look like a scared kid when Bunny tells him something on that one picture someone snapped of them no one comments on it for their own sake

if she snaps at seb, he’d shut it down and tell her to stop acting like a brat unless she’s wanting to be put in her place and she’ like ): im sorry im on my period. he tells her it’s not an excuse to be mean to him and that he’s not scared of a little blood. tells her to tell him what she needs and he’ll take care of it but is surprised when she just wants her boys. maybe some chocolate and he’d take her to them and then go buy the most expensive, fresh, handmade chocolates he could find in whatever city they’re in. he’d put together a gift basket full of goodies to drop off at her hotel room. gives it to oscar when he opens the door, telling him to let him know if she needs anything bc he’ll go get it for them so they don’t have to leave her 🥺

lewis standing in the paddock watching bunny walk away is a new reaction meme and everyone wants to know what he said and what she snapped back with for him to make that face.

[blond-jerk-tourney]

Which character that you didn't know were you most intrigued by the submission of? And which first round poll are you watching most excitedly?

wow, there's a lot. like the last tourney here, i'm going to try to get into whatever thing the character that wins is in. (last time I had already watched Utena by the end of the tourney, so I have been making one of my friends watch it (she likes it & likes Nanami))

so these are the characters that I don't know that I am intrigued by: Vash the Stampede - I have heard of Trigun but I don't know what it's about Lewis Smith - at first, I did not care but all the propaganda in the notes has made me Collete Brunel - same thing Macrophage - what a silly premise for a show Emil Västerström - the art is really beautiful I also am interested in getting into Dungeon Meshi and Pale, but I have heard of those characters before and know a bit more about them. As for which poll I am most excited for? It's hard to say. The ones that are fun for me are the ones that get a lot of propaganda and are really close in votes. So of the ones that are already released, the two I have been watching most closely are: -#14 Miyuki Shirogane vs. Tsumugi Takanashi -#20 Lillie vs. Arashi Narukami As for the ones that aren't out yet, I'm honestly more nervous that my matchups are balanced than excited! Because there are still a lot of very popular characters and it's always the hardest to match those ones up. I think poll #50 is just a really dumb matchup like the characters are not really congruent at all so I guess we'll see if that is funny or a disaster. Also excited for/enjoying polls which have fandoms that I had good interactions with in the last tourney -- my top two of those being enstars and wormblr.

I'm also excited for the ones that have my own blorbos that I submitted in them that nobody else did :) some of them are quite obscure and others of them i think will be/are doing well so yay.

[umbilicalcordchewer]

Crazy long oc lore drop because I need to share my thoughts to my page

The OCS fyi, keep up with the names this gets confusing

it's before Jesus times , Ume exists , Ume is the first vampire, ume forms herself a child from her own self. Basically like plants and uke decided to make her Safa. Safa grows , 137 years go by. Safas pretty chill, just like killing and eating because hungry yum. Because Safa just wants power and doesn't really feel emotions Safa kills ume and eats her because she's evil and cool. In 209 Safa gives a god her role as a vampire and the god switches places with safa , safa becomes the all mighty god of all and everything because the god wanted normal vampire life back. Safa gets herself followers , basically evil Jesus and the 5 apostles (I laughed sm at this). Lewis is her biggest and first follower (and the only man), he serves cunt and is quite funny, he eats women because tasty even tho he dislikes women romantically, safa has many followers and it's kinda a cult, her 5 biggest followers mean most to her , she cares for them like her children/pets

Safa has other followers , but they don't mean much to her, they're worth less than ants to her

Lewis seduces women, laughs at them , gives them a humiliating death and eats them though he has a kind soul (trust me on this one he's doing whatever he can for safa to be proud)

Lewis falls in love with a mortal (I'll write about him later) , he turns the mortal to praying to Safa because it's a cult, safa grants Lewis's lover a wish , to also be immortal because yayyyy

Izmi is Safas second biggest follower (Right after Lewis they chill)

Izmi has alot of burn scars because she died being burnt at the cross, she cover them up by dressing like a grandma (not literally, she's a morikei girly), izmi eats whatever is breathing because yum.

Safa sees her biggest 2 followers as her kids

Izmi calls her mother Safa Lewis calls her Mama Safa

(lewis draws on moles to look more like Safa) Izmi was a follower of safa in old ass times idk

She was burned for accused witchcraft While burning she was praying to safa Safa granted her immortality. The reason why her hands are burn more is because that's where they burn her because they wanted her to stop praying because they thought she was some weird witch. At some point when our protag is dating safa izmi falls in love with a cashier in a grocery store(Kate) And they are like really hitting it off But the day izmi wants to confess Kate unalives herself and izmi is PETRIFIED

Safas last name isn't really Kaji (safa quite dislikes it because of the meaning)

She just knows umes name was Ume Kaji So she took on Kaji too because how else do you start a cult without a last name

Lee is the protagonist , all this happens before she was even born, she is half taiwanese half Filipino. During the end of the series you see how Safa is a manipulator and ruins them all, especially Lee

safa is made from ume so she's kinda just ume-nese (I'm so funny)

In public lewis and izmi pretend to be safas actual kids (even tho lewis is 6,1 and safa and Izmi are 5,9) and it's absolutely hilarious

Example:

X:"Is that your girlfriend?"

Lewis:"That's my mother"

[i-am-church-the-cat]

this is gonna be kind of a ramble feel free to ignore

i don't get people being attracted to lando norris. like i can usually see the appeal, even if i don't agree, such as with charles. but lando? idk he has nice eyes?

i like that he's funny, he has a very interesting personality, and i think he would make a good art piece, but i don't think he's attractive in any applicable way.

like the people who were all like "the mclaren suit looks good when it's on lando bc he makes it look good"? i disagree

and while we're on the topic, i don't get people's obsession with seb either. he's clearly a cool guy but i have no attraction to him or his story in any compelling way. like at least with lando i'm rooting for his win.

like, seb, charles, and lando are all really popular and i don't. understand really. lando's kind of funny, seb is nice, and charles is also nice and has his funny moments and looks like he should be a statue instead of a person (neg)

i'd say what most compels me about charles is that i really want him to win in monaco bc the loyalty he has to his country, his family, and ferrari is actually really commendable. as someone who's loyal to a fault, this is the one thing i respect most about him, even if i dislike ferrari. is charles a taurus? no i just looked it up he's a libra. that makes sense

anyway, i also have this strong feeling against learning anything else about charles, lando, or seb partly BECAUSE they're so popular. like, you didn't win me over in the first 6 months, you don't get a do-over

yk what's really annoying though? zhou's just as nice and pretty as charles, has just as much loyalty to his country, was also in the ferrari driver academy, but does anyone care about him? NO! everyone should be a zhou guanyu fan, literally king among men. he also just got a cat and she is absolute fucking adorable

im gonna make a separate zhou post bc he deserves his own spotlight outside of the negativity of this post but yeah.

lando seb and charles being so popular pisses me off bc i don't enjoy content from them. and i think, in lando and charles's sake, this is bc they are both a part of popular ships that i despise, and that's not their fault

i wanna make it clear though: i don't hate lando or charles? i really want them to succeed as drivers, i was really upset when charles lost in vegas + lando's crash scared the shit out of me. but i would like to be able to exist within the f1 fandom and just, not come into contact with them

and im sure there are a bunch of people who feel that way about drivers i like, like daniel and lewis, but it's also super annoying when my FAVORITE drivers get barely any coverage compared to these personalities that are like. meh to me. yk?

i don't think anyone's gonna read this, and ik how i feel doesn't really change anything. people are going to keep liking lando and charles, they're gonna keep thinking lando is attractive, they're gonna keep shipping landoscar and lestappen, it's whatever. but like, ugh it's annoying that i can't go anywhere w/o seeing it. i don't want to see it, it's really really not what i want to see, but i don't have a CHOICE, yk?

anyway yeah, ramble over

[night-raven-miscellany]

haihai !!! for the ask game , can i ask for 💐,❓, and 💢 for everyone ?? or you can pick and choose if that's too much :D

✨Hi moot thank you for the ask! I had a draft almost done and then accidentally closed my app. As a result, this is gonna be way shorter than I had initially intended it to be. Everyone WILL however be responding in character this time around instead of me speaking for everyone else.

💐- What is their love language?

Yuna: I've always been partial to helping people out or giving them things to show my appreciation for them. It's kinda a force of habit at this point, but I don't particularly mind.

Heinrich: When I was your age and attending NRC myself (and honestly, when I was even younger than that), I never often received praise or verbal affirmation for my accomplishments. As such, I took to providing those words of appreciation and praise to everyone around me.

Lewis: I'm a bit of a quality time kinda guy, myself. My UM is kinda perfect for that, but also I just like vibing in the same space as everyone I care about, y'know?

Casimir: Dear follower, I commend you for inquiring into my personal thoughts about how to show my affection for others! What better way should an evil overlord show his love for his people than by spending time with them and gracing them with his presence? Of course, I am also fond of showering my most loyal companions in the highest praises, though many find it perplexing or even offensive, although I do not intend it to be. As such, I do not often get the chance to do such a thing.

❓What confuses them the most?

Y: Beastmen. Like, they're so cool and all! But like. From an evolutionary perspective, how do they work? Are they different or similar to mermaids? Like. How?

H: Some students purport that my monologues do not contribute anything of value to anything. Why? I'm imparting upon them vast amounts of knowledge from the previous generation! They should be appreciating my anecdotes, or at the very least taking my previous mistakes into consideration. Also. The slang and language that students use nowadays.

L: Why do people think it's funny to send me nothing statements to read on my radio show? Like genuinely? I don't know what a "skibidi gyatt" or whatever is. I also don't see how it's funny?

C: Why is it that many of my subjects (and many of the demon overlords lackeys...) find my manner of speaking to be befuddling? Many of my classmates insist that I am simply being "childish" or "dramatic"! I only wish to become the most powerful and evil overlord, and my manner of speaking is (at least in my own eyes) rather befitting of a person with such a status.

💢 What makes them angriest?

Y: Nobody takes me seriously because I'm just some girl who doesn't have magic, and that REALLY pisses me off. It doesn't happen as much now that I've survived several overblots and also just. All of the nonsense that happens here, but it never fails to make me angry when I overhear someone say something about "oh can she really do that?" Just because it's something that needs magic or whatever...

H: I'll be honest, I'm not really an angry guy. It's only when I or my family is utterly disrespected by others that I tend to get truly upset.

L: I hate it when people assume that because I don't like being told what to do or prefer to march to the beat of my own drum that I'm lazy or something. Way before my Housewarden overblotted the first time, we already had our typical disputes. But one time he insinuated that I was some kinda good-for-nothing schmuck because I wasn't interested in living by his OR the dorm's rules... Yeah we both wound up in the infirmary for that one...

C: As it pertains to my prior statement, many of my subjects (and the demon overlords lackeys) insist that because I speak with a bit of a flourish on occasion, that I am not to be taken seriously! Many simply play it up to be only a result of my short stature, but I am fully aware that they do not listen to a single word I say simply because of how I deliver it! (I... Only know this because I've heard them mocking me in the halls.. I hate it so much...)

[flashnthunder]

Tag game (Christmas edition)!

It's Festivus for the rest of us so grab your Chanukah bush, your mistletoe, your pagan ritual or whatever brings you joy and come gather round the fire and celebrate your pocket friends.

@deputy-buck tagged me in this :)) !

Favourite nickname you've ever been given?

i have never gone by my full name but technically izzy is my nickname, i've gotten iz or izzers by friends before and izzy-maye is my family nickname which i like

Where are you located?

the US, specifically ohio so very midwest

What season is it where you are now?

it is winter and officially Cold, it has not felt like winter for the past month but now i am freezing and already crying thinking about driving in ice

Favorite tradition this time of year?

there's a zoo that puts on this big light show every year and i usually go with friends which has become a little tradition, but tbh there's not a lot i can think of other than that

Favourite holiday food?

probably fudge?? idk if that counts as holiday food but i only eat it in the winter

Mulled wine, eggnog or hot apple cider?

apple cider for the win i am not a big any type of wine fan and eggnog is only kinda not awful if i don't think about what i'm drinking

Turkey, ham or nut roast (Or Tofurkey?)?

ham! i feel like turkey is a very november food and not my favorite

Would you rather spend the december holidays in: a cabin in the woods surrounded by snow, or a house on the beach with sun and sand?

right now im gonna say cabin because that sounds nice and peaceful but check-in with me in a month and i will have switched up once i am sufficiently sun-deprived and looking like a sad vampire with scurvy

are you pro-snow or anti-snow?

pro-snow in the hypothetical sense of enjoying it when i don't need to do anything, and anti-snow when i'm slogging to class in the slush at 9am which is the reality of january

have you ever built a snowman?

YES i love building snowmen i don't care if i'm getting freezing and wet and gross outside it's gotta happen it is just way to funny to not leave them everywhere possible

Skiing or snowboarding?

i have never really done either, i like ice skating though in terms of a winter sport :) i will fall on my ass

Do you decorate for the holidays?

i try to a little!! i like putting stuff outside, have some lights and things like that

Favourite holiday movie?

nostalgia wise stuff like charlie brown, that claymation rudolph movie, the muppets, it's a wonderful life but around the holidays i like to religiously rewatch the original star trek show so that is like My Holiday Movie

Favourite holiday fanfic?

people should rec me some because i can't think of anything off the top of my head??? i might be forgetting one i'm sure i have read them before

If you were to star in a hallmark movie, who would be your love interest?

confession time i've never really watched hallmark movies but going off the memes maybe i am the small hometown man waiting on a stressed businesswoman from new york to come home for christmas and then we can get a dog or something while the credits start

if yall would like to- tagging: @ewipandora @blood-mocha-latte @lewis-winters @good-night-space-kid @heystovepipeboys @gorgeousundertow @1waveshortofashipwreck + anyone who wants to do it :)

[silentreigns]

Australian GP 2023 Reflection that nobody asked for

I don't even know where to start. I started watching the race in the middle of it, and at that point George's car just caught on fire. Charles and Alex were already out and I was so confused. I had such high hopes for them and to see them taken out so early made me so sad. But little did I know about the amount of fuckery I was about to witness.

First of all, if there is a red flag with less than 5 laps to go, the race should finish under a safetycar. The FIA keeps putting the theatrics before the drivers' safety and it's so tired. Like we could have avoided the Alpines getting taken out and Pierre & Esteban getting the points they rightfully deserved. All the drivers were talking about how hard it is to get temperature into the tires. This was a disaster just waiting to happen.

Carlos did not deserve the 5 second penalty. Max hadn't even completed the first sector of his lap when the race was red-flagged. And I am still confused as to why it seems that the lap counted but it didn't at the same time. Lance and Fernando were given their positions back so I don't know why the penalty was enforced. Like we all have our differences but I think we can all agree that it is not fair to give 1 driver a penalty when there were like 4 other incidents to happen in the same timeframe.

Logan Sargeant rammed his car into Nyck de Vries, not even an investigation. If the FIA had braincells they would be giving Sargeant a grid penalty, but it won't make much of a difference since it's a Williams and the car is a tractor (although Alex is making the most out of it). Lance and Charles had a racing incident and nobody was penalized. Pierre locked up and crashed into Esteban and no further action was taken. I mean, y'all saw the same footage so like what's the tea???

The McLaren didn't even make much gains pace-wise but they went from 10th to 5th in the championships. Like how is it possible that they're ahead of the Alpines when the Alpines were matching pace with the Ferraris? But good for Lando and Oscar, you could tell they were mentally and emotionally distraught from the first couple of races. They stayed out of trouble and I cannot fault them for it. Oscar getting his first points in his first home GP is a feel-good story that we needed. But I am salty because Pierre was in 5th and it was going to be his best finish in his new team.

One positive to take away from this is that Lewis got a podium despite not feeling connected to the car. He's getting closer and closer to another race win and I am so excited with what he can do in Baku. George complaining about Lewis racing him is whatever because Lewis was under pressure from Max and Fernando so of course he's gonna be fighting for his life. A lot of TeamLH find George annoying but all I see is George trying to make a name for himself. Like the best way to do that is to challenge yourself against the GOAT. And as long as Lewis ain't upset by it then why should I care?

Another positive is that Yuki & Zhou got their points. I feel like if Yuki finished p11 again he would have self-destructed. Now I just want the other rookies to get a chance at points so we can have another season where everyone scores.

Also Max not lining up on the grid "properly": to me it does not make sense for it to be allowed that the car touches the white line. Like in track & field, you're not allowed to do that, you have to be behind the white line. So that was my reasoning for posting about it initially. Also I wanted Lewis to win something and I can admit that. I ain't taking back my initial post though it's kinda funny seeing the responses to it.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 02/03/2024 (SZA, Central Cee, Pozer)

Beyoncé may have the #1 for a second week with “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” but the real winners on this UK Singles Chart are songs benefiting from songs above them plundering, partly thanks to everyone’s favourite arbitrary rule, Accelerated Chart Ratio (ACR). I am never explaining that rule, look it up, but you’d think maybe we’d get a surge of new songs, right? No, it’s a pretty minimal week, and I’m not complaining. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start with our notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40, and we have… unless I’m missing something, surprisingly little of note here? We bid farewell to “BACK TO ME” by Hitler, Goebbels and an uncredited Freddie Gibbs, “Ophelia” by The Lumineers, “Toxic” by Songer (thank God), “Sprinter” by Dave and Central Cee and of course, Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved” but that’ll be back soon enough.

Okay, so as for returns, we just get Ye’s “Runaway” featuring Pusha T back at #48, but our notable gains are where this week gets actually interesting, because we actually have quite a few, particularly in the top 40, thanks to ACR as mentioned but also potentially some TikTok-related industry politics that probably act in parallel with each other, but we start with “Thank You (Not So Bad)” by way too many brain cells at #68, “Soaked” by Shy Smith at #51, “vampire” by Olivia Rodrigo at #44 and “Evergreen” by Richy Mitch & the Coal Miners at #41. Then the top 40, where all Hell breaks loose, though most of these songs are actually pretty good: “Birds in the Sky” by NewEra at #40, “Made for Me” by Muni Long at #37, “Never be Alone” by Becky Hill and Sonny Fodera at #35, “Whatever She Wants” by Bryson Tiller of all people at #31 (and yes, I think I get it now), “On My Love” by Zara Larsson and David Guetta at #28, “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi at #22, “Nothing Matters” by The Last Dinner Party at #16, “Lovers in a Past Life” by Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man at #13, and finally - unfortunately - we have “CARNIVAL” by Adolf Hitler and Ty Dolla $ign featuring Playboi Carti at #9. Yes, it’s Rich the Kid’s first top 10 hit and no, you should not care.

Our top five should sound pretty normal, apart from a new entry into the top 10 at #5 as Djo gets his first with “End of Beginning”. I guess Steve Lacy can be a one-hit wonder twice. Aside from that, well, it’s all pretty expected: “Stick Season” by Noah Kahan at #4, “Beautiful Things” by Benson Boone at #3, “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #2 and Bey at #1. I like how this top five is a herd of angsty indie rock-adjacent white dudes led by the queen of the hive.

NEW ARRIVALS

#61 - “Love On” - Selena Gomez

Produced by The Monsters & Strangerz and Isaiah Tejada

Man, one of the few times that a mainstream artist releases a well-received and popular album that I think is absolutely brilliant, if not perfect, and none of it charts in the top 75. I’m not revealing who that is, if you know, you know. No worries, guys, we have Selena Gomez instead! God… to be honest, I like to give Selena the benefit of the doubt more than often, and I actually really like this song for its quirks as I’ll discuss later, but it’s pretty funny that this song starts with the French language only for all of that effortlessly seductive aura to be replaced with “Wait ‘til I get my love on”. What? In fact, this song is incredibly clunky in its sexiness or lack thereof, and if you think it’s to fit an already constructed rhyme or construction… why does it sound this awkward and almost improvised? “Screaming yes in quotations”, “night shift but with all the perks” (or Percs?), “why are we conversating over this steak tartare”? Yes, Julia Michaels, I knew you wrote this song before I checked the credits, you didn’t need to make it too obvious. Now I actually love this song, it’s so artfully stupid in execution: Selena sounds Auto-Tuned to Hell as always but it doesn’t grant her any rhythm with that robotic hook slipping over itself, as if the verses don’t embarrass her enough: Isaiah, listen, why leave her only with the clipping bassline and add all those accentuative vocal effects? It’s almost cruelty. She doesn’t even sound like herself on the strained falsetto pre-chorus, especially not those backing vocals which you could easily convince me are Toro y Moi of all people, and the chorus promising that you should just wait until she has her love on before she loves on you, which is… what? Asexuals could write better songs about intimacy, but in all its goofiness, the song ends up winning me over on pure silliness. The production has a straightforward groove but a lovely disco swell to the strings, detailed vocal layering and those phased synths acting as stabs that make Selena’s rhythmic bruising in the chorus sound almost normal are the icing on top. This is an adorable little failure of a song, I kind of admire it. Push it in the same category as “Feather” by Sabrina Carpenter in being loveable nu-disco messes.

#49 - “Showtime” - Catfish and the Bottlemen

Produced by Dave Sardy and Ryan McCann

It’s been a five-year hiatus, but indie rock band Catfish and the Bottlemen are back to music, though with some departures and line-up changes, and oddly enough, all of that ties into the fittingly titled comeback single, “Showtime”. Yes, this song is about the strains of touring and life on the road as part of a band, but how that’s all ultimately worth it for how gratifying it is to make an impact on listeners and be performing to audiences, as well as being with the band members he loves to record and perform with. I love the breakneck pace of the bass and post-punk rhythm of the verses and pre-choruses with that soaring guitar lick, and I think that the lead singer Mr. McCann (of no relation to that one) has a solid control of his distorted nasal tone until that disappointing chorus comes in which doesn’t feel nearly as ambitious or arena-ready as it wants to be, mostly because McCann is mumbling and it halts the momentum of the entire song. Also, it starts really shoddy lyrically, it’s hard to sound profound when half of your chorus is moaning “fuck that shit, get on this”. It does end up contextualising itself better on repetitions, mostly because of the warm finger-snaps in the bridge that eventually evolve into a heartland rolick that gives the final chorus space to breathe in a muddy mix… then seems to never fully get its power back, replacing it with a gross basic synth that parades around a befuddled Bottlemen, until eventually the song is just a lo-fi piano recording that doesn’t feel like it’s entirely warranted its inclusion, though it wraps up the narrative nicely as he comes back home after touring. I really like the sentiment of this song and parts of what it’s going for but the chorus, which really makes or break an anthemic song like this, just loses me, which is really disappointing as the rest of the song focuses entirely on building up to it. I’m sure it’ll be a killer live, but that’s also with the caveat that when performing live, they can mess with the structure, the lyrics and the performance, as well as most importantly for this one, the mix… so I don’t think this song will ever sound as good on record as it could do at a festival, which considering the song’s content, is kind of beautiful.

#29 - “Kitchen Stove” - Pozer

Produced by Young Madz

It’s pretty weird that this is not the first time in recent memory that I’ve never heard of the lead rapper on a track but have seen a dozen or so credits for his producer. Unlike Rich Amiri, this is far from rage however, it’s a drill track, of course, with Young Madz being a New York producer who’s worked with Fivio Foreign, the 41 collective and sadly, Lil Mabu, as well as having produced a previously charting track from Russ Millions. Pozer, on the other hand, has no other songs, with this being a breakout track on TikTok as well as his debut single… that’s being distributed by Sony. Yeah, slick one there. To fully understand this, we need to look back two years for another fluke viral hit, “snowfall” by Øneheart and reidenshi, a Russian space ambient track with over 500 million streams on Spotify - yes, really. It debuted nearly exactly a year after release and eventually peaked at #57 in 2023 whilst Miley Cyrus’ “Flowers” was #1. Øneheart’s follow-up was another ambient track, “this feeling”, which is not nearly as successful and also not as good, mostly because it lacks as sticky of a lead as “snowfall” and falls more into a vaporwave-esque filter of hopelessness which resonates a bit less. It does sound ripe for sampling though, especially that tiny vocal lead at the tail-end, so I guess it makes sense that for a manufactured viral hit, Madz took a sped-up version of the Russian ambient song and put it over some of the most rote, typical Jersey drill percussion possible. He doesn’t do much chopping, mostly because you don’t need to - like I said, that vocal sample would be perfect under Jersey drill, and Madz had the exact same idea, I suppose. Pozer, despite the name, isn’t exactly a bad rapper, his flow is pretty typical but solid and his second verse goes into more introspective and paranoid territory, pretty befitting of the haunting production… my problem is his delivery and the way he’s mixed: he just sounds too obvious. For production as potentially eerie as this, the production needs to be way more textured and dynamic, and Pozer himself needs to be quieter in the mix - as do the bed squeaks. This feels like a perfect lay-up of an idea that would make both a great song and an easy hit just fumbled in execution. It’s still a functional song for sure, but it doesn’t hit the way it absolutely could have.

#18 - “I Will” - Central Cee

Produced by John Alexis and LIOHN

Cench has another single out as he seems to drip-feed these - if he keeps them all on the record, that debut studio album will be more like a greatest hits compilation. As for this new one… first of all, I need this guy to step away from women: he’s awkward, condescending, and has strange fixations on this girl’s mother, how “young” she makes her feel, as well as just the extents of the capabilities of his penis… as well as a song-long hyperfixation on her shaving her privates. Over an Ed Sheeran-sounding beat? The acoustic guitars don’t mesh with the distant vocal loops, his vocal mix sounds horrifically unprofessional as does his complete lack of melodic understanding or personality when trying to sing on the chorus. You’d think he’d try and pick up the rapping to make up for it but he sounds half-dead. Speaking of Ed Sheeran, even he raps better than this - and yes, that includes about sex and relationships. There’s so little in the beat to distract from Cench’s terrible performance and content, so this is just an embarrassing display of everything that he cannot do properly. The second top comment on Genius, so you know, the fans, is asking what the Hell this is, and I can’t say I disagree with the fans in this case. I know you love Drake, it doesn’t mean you have to be him.

#15 - “Saturn” - SZA

Produced by Carter Lang, Rob Bisel, Solomonophonic and Monsune

SZA’s finally released a highly-anticipated song she performed at the GRAMMYs that may be connected to some form of SOS reissue and… oh, this interpolates one of my absolute favourite albums of all time. The opening track to Canadian composer Mort Garson’s peaceful, dynamic and forward-thinking 1976 electronic album Mother Earth’s Plantasia may not be iconic to everyone, but I still get goosebumps listening to it and that’s even outside of its greater context where this is the opening suite to a themed, arguably conceptual record acting as a love letter to two different pets of the musician: the myriad of plants his wife grew in the home, and his admired Moog synthesizer that he composed the entire album on. Sadly, Garson passed in 2008, before the record could gain its underground cult following amongst music fans, and before its official reissue in 2019 which particularly benefits the opening track, which has since been used in advertisements and now ends up interpolated on SZA’s new single, which released as a surprise to her fans and feels like a pretty spiritual return to some of the sounds explored on CTRL, using the sprinkling nostalgic synths of “Plantasia” as a backing for her lamenting of how dull and monotonous life on Earth can be. It’s actually fascinating to use that sample considering how celebratory I’ve always seen Garson’s album of both the natural world and human  influence or appreciation of it, but definitely not a bad one as Lang, Bisel and co. add their own cascading synths to the dejected drum mix and warm guitars that flow this song swiftly into psychedelic territory, especially on the gorgeously harmonic chorus. My favourite moment may be the pre-chorus though, where SZA’s vocal layering filters into the static of both itself and the incessant hi-hat wearing itself out over time. It’s pure escapism for sure, much like a lot of this week, really, but it’s damn effective escapism, pulling you into this forest that, despite my general issue with fade-outs, makes sense to drift out of existence. The song’s about wanting to live on Saturn, I can just imagine that as the song fades out, we pan away from SZA and the camera focuses on the scarce night sky peppered with stars. If a song ever justifies its cop-out ending, then it’s doing something really right.

Conclusion

Yeah, the girlies really won this episode, didn’t they? SZA takes Best of the Week away easily with “Saturn” but “Love On” by Selena Gomez does take the Honourable Mention. As for the Dishonourable Mention, I think Pozer just frustrates me with “Kitchen Stove” whilst Central Cee handedly has the Worst of the Week because Jesus Christ, “I Will” is almost irredeemable on pretty much all fronts. As for what’s new on the horizon in the coming weeks, I’m unsure, but it will be interesting what new stuff arises as a result of the ACR clearout this week. For now, thank you for reading, and I’ll see you next week!

[alphashley14]

‘One of Us’ Deleted Scene!

So I just write what comes into mind as I go, then go back and delete later. In fact I often save redacted stuff for later, knowing that event/piece of dialogue will fit better in a later place.

But I found this particular deleted snippet from Chapter 18 funny, and I’m not likely to use it anywhere else. So I’m sharing it with you all.

Presenting:

“Dads Are Hot.”

༻˚⁺･⚉｡○✼༓☾⦾♫෴♡💛♡෴♫⦾☽༓✼○｡⚉･⁺˚༺

“Shiomori was an accident, as I told you earlier,” Mystery said with a nod. “I’d been a nine-tailed fox for at least sixty years when she was born. As to why I kept her, I wish I could say it was ‘love at first sight’, but that would be a lie. I kept her because when it comes to life, longevity breeds boredom and she was something new that I could study. At the very least, I thought she could be useful in the future. And given that I had reached sexual maturity with the growth of my ninth tail and would probably be soon searching for a mate, I thought perhaps it was wise to practice parenting on this little… whatever it was in preparation for rearing my own kits someday. And perhaps females I met in the future would find it attractive to have a mate who’d already proven himself to be a capable father. Actually as stupid as I was back then, that right there was wisdom.”

Shaggy, Scooby, and Fred all sniggered.

“Don’t laugh, boys. I’m quite serious. Consider this a tip in attracting and courting your own mates: dads are hot.”

“Ha! Dads? Hot? Yeah right,” Fred laughed. “Come on, Mystery. Girls don’t like that mushy emotional stuff.”

“Says the guy who probably learned most of his ‘moves’ from his adoptive father, who has never been married nor committed to a serious relationship,” Ricky said, wholeheartedly siding with Mystery on this one.

Fred opened and closed his mouth. He… couldn’t argue with that.

“Yeah sorry Freddy. He’s right: dads are hot.” Daphne corrected.

“Are we talking about hot dads?” Vivi asked as she walked back into the room and leaned on the back of the couch behind them.

“Wait. Like, seriously?” Shaggy exclaimed.

“Seriously,” Daphne said. “It takes a real man to walk down the street with a stroller.”

“Playing in the park with their kids? Gently correcting bad behavior? Playing and tolerating tea parties and dress-up with their daughters? Deescalating temper tantrums? Changing diapers?” Vivi listed off.

“Ooooh yeah. Changing diapers is a big one!” Daphne agreed.

“Sorry boys, but the bar for men is so low it’s a tavern in Hades,” Vivi said. “You see a man who’s capable of gentle parenting, good with kids, and willing to take care of the messy parts? That’s a man who’d be a good father to your children and a good husband to you even with kids in the picture. That’s how I fell in love with Lewis. Not just because he’s tall, has broad shoulders and huge hands, looks fine as hell in an apron, and his ass looks amazing in his work uniform…” Vivi trailed off dreamily, chin in her hands, but she quickly shook herself out of it. “-Those things might be what attracted me to Lewis, but what made me fall for him was how kind he was. He’s the oldest Pepper child, and given such he’s the de-facto babysitter for his three little sisters at Pepper Paradiso when his parents are working. And he was so… gentle and good with them, no matter how naughty they were. We’ve been friends all our lives, but as we got older seeing him like that made me picture what kind of father he’d be one day…” Vivi’s eyes clouded over with sadness at the mention of Lewis being a father. Because, the six of them realized suddenly, Lewis would never be a father. He may have found his way back to Vivi from the great beyond, but dead was dead. And the children that Vivi had envisioned back then would never come to be.

“-So,” she quirked cheerfully, “in conclusion yeah… Dads are hot.”

“Dads are hot,” Daphne, Mystery, and Ricky echoed with agreement.

“Huh,” Shaggy said, “Like ya learn something new every day.”

༻˚⁺･⚉｡○✼༓☾⦾♫෴♡💛♡෴♫⦾☽༓✼○｡⚉･⁺˚༺

I think my own preferences bled into this part a bit too much. Dads are hot. 😂 It’s funny, and I like the part with Vivi thinking about the future she lost. But it’s long, would have distracted from the point of the chapter, and didn’t fit the mood of the rest of the dialogue at all. 🤷‍♀️

[fategoflatass]

So, I just watched withcindy's video about this whole scandal between BookTok and the Seattle Kraken team and... I have some things to say about all this.

Before we start I want to mention that I'll be touching upon topics such as catcalling, sexism towards men, and grown women not willing to take accountability for their actions. If you find any of these topics upsetting, I would advise you against reading this and hope you have a nice rest of your day.

We'll be talking about Kierra Lewis, a known BookTok member, also known as the woman who keeps on "humorously simping" over the members of the Seattle Kraken team.

She makes this videos with pictures of them in the background while saying things like "Why don't you assist your teammates in scoring all three of my holes?", "What's a sister gotta do to have you crack this back?" or "When you're done playing your little game go spit out that mouthpiece 'cause I got something else to put in your mouth".

Kierra also catcalls them on videos where they're warming up, saying things like "Best believe, after seeing them stretches, I'm going to every hockey practice, every game, early as hell", or "When I saw it [the video] for the first time, me and the kitty was drooling at the same time".

Far from thinking this woman was disgusting and calling her out for sexually harassing their players, the team decided to go along with it and began posting more and more videos of the players so she, and all the other women she had inspired to do such atrocious things, could keep on going. Actually, they even rewarded Kierra inviting her to one of their games and gifting her a personalised jersey.

As I just said, many other women took her as an example and began catcalling the players. Some even took it further and went into their DMs.

It was then when Felicia, one of the team's players' wife, decided to come out and defend her husband stating that "There has been videos and comments made that have crossed the line and sound pretty predatory and exploiting [···] I don't care about the comments about my husband's looks, what doesn't sit with me is when your desires come with sexual harrasment, innapropiate comments and the fact that with the internet we can normalize behavior that would never be okay if we flipped the genders around".

Kierra proceeded to "defend herself" by saying that everything she had done was for entertainment purposes, that it was a TikTok thing and, thus, it shouldn't be taken seriously. Besides, she had gotten the support from other women in these player's lives!

Now again, let's do what Felicia said and flip the genders around. Imagine this is a grown ass man excusing himself from catcalling all these female athletes simply because he "did it for the funsies". And besides, men in their lives were okay with his comments so it's a-okay for him to do whatever he wants!

It isn't funny at all, is it? People would instantly cancel him and every single person who dared support this asshole. But since it's a woman with men, well...

Why don't we just go and harass the victim's wife, shall we?

"You're trying to turn something innocent into something awful because of what's going on in your marriage"

"Imagine being so insecure in your relationship that you have to go on Instagram because YOU went public about how hot your man is, other people agreed, and you didn't like it"

These are some of the comments directed towards Felicia. As you can see, they're accusing her of being insecure about her relationship which... huh? Babe, she's just defending her partner from people who are literally sexually harassing him and his teammates. I think that's actually pretty... decent of her? Pretty human? But eh, not like you would know about ethics, am I right?

There's something that Cindy said about this that I would like to quote. She says "Maybe other people are feeling insecure about being called out for sexual harassment and, instead of being embarrased, they're projecting that onto the woman who called their shit out". YOU 👏 ARE 👏 A 👏 QUEEN 👏 BABE.

There're also other users calling her out saying that Felicia wants to be Y/N so badly, but she can't. And this is where the main problem lays: they don't see Alex (Felicia's husband) as a human being, but as the face of their preferred male protagonists in their Wattpad Y/N stories.

(Besides, Y/N always ends up being the girlfriend/wife of the hockey player. Felicia is, in fact, Alex's wife. So who are the ones who want to be Y/N so badly, but they can't?).

Eventually, the team ended up unfollowing Kierra and deleting the videos after shit got wild. The fact that they waited for so long, though... Honestly, shame on them. Whoever decided it was a good idea to support this woman's wrongdoings, you are disgusting and hope this weights in your concience.

Felicia then releases yet another statement where she mentions that "I wanted my post to be taken for what it was: a request for accountability, respect, boundaries and for people to educate themselves on sexual harrasment, consent and double stardards. It was never my intention [to directly attack Kierra]. [My problem is with] the toxic culture, the problematic following and harassing behavior. We get sent this video [where Alex is stretching] and others on a weekly, if not on a daily basis. Every game I've been to and talked to fans I get in my head about not knowing if these are genuine hockey fans or the people who comment that they masturb#te with his jersey on"

She also mentions this author who's been writing a spicy book with Alex as her inspiration like WTF? This woman was also the one who shared the video I mentioned before, and even had the guts to tag him on it. What a lovely human, isn't she?

The harassment levels were so bad Alex had to come out to defend Felicia stating that "I'm all in for BookTok to write books and fiction about hockey, but the aggresive language about real life players is too much [···] We can all take a joke and funny comments, but when it turns personal and into something bigger that affects our family, we need to tell you we have had enough".

I can only imagine the pain these two people (along with their child/ren) must have been going through just because a bunch of grown ass women cannot accept the fact they're in the wrong thinking that since, and only since, Alex's team is a masculine one, any sort of sexual harassment towards them gets invalidaded.

And that is my main complain with all this shit; double standards and the team players being treated as objects simply because these women have had only considered them as the face of their preferred love interest in whichever Y/N or OC story they've reading or writing.

It's okay if you thirst over fictional characters and whatnot, but it's different when the object of your desires is a real life person. You should then have in mind that they're a breathing human being who has a life, friends, family and even partners. And even if they don't, they'll always have the right to deny consent or to give it and then revoke it whenever they feel like it. And so do the people who surround them.

You have no right to call out Felicia because she was okay with people calling her husband handsome and she now complains about yall's disgusting behavior. Just get down of your high horses and take the fucking accountability y'all been needing for a long ass time.

TL;DR: Have empathy and don't be a perverted fuck. Period.

[taylorthrift]

Alison Wonderland

As a writer, I really appreciate the artistry that Taylor does not just in technical skill, but her ability to convey a story. The arc of folklore through midnights has been incredible.

Something her art has told me about is how much she is like or at least inspired by lewis carrol. Like Taylor, Lewis carrol hid all sorts of secret things in his work. He was a mathematician first and foremost, but put a lot of little hidden math inside alice in wonderland.

The annotated alice is an exceptional book that talks about this.

Much of Taylors media image mirrors the protagonist of Carrols story. (Isn't that a funny distinction? We talk about Taylor so profoundly casually when we should probably be giving her an incredible amount more formal respect for how good of an artist she is period.)

When I was writing I would hide hidden details and clues throughout my work and after publishing it was heart-rending when people didn't look too deeply to see them. So I did an annotated edition, and still nobody cared.

I wasn't aware back then about the secret messages that Taylor was putting in her work as well, and I wish I had back then. Because I am heavily influenced by lewis carrol and look for Wonderland in everything I do. And I know how it sucks when you put work into make your art not just pretty, but thoughtful and meaningful and then people just go "This is Nice."

All of us Swifties are proof of it being much more to us than "nice pop music". There is a story that we are so deeply invested in that we are all hurting hurting right now

We don't listen to a song of hers and say neat song and move on with our day, we are riveted and swooned and feeling what the Artist is putting into the Art.

I have no doubt that whatever the medium, whether it's music or movies or reality (the internet) she's going to be successful and will be regarded as one of the greatest American Artists-not simply a popstar or even something as liberated as a singer/songwriter-

Taylor is our Shakespeare. Or if that's too bold, our Lewis Carrol.