#and with that i try to sleep

[thejollywriter]

So I'm going to be real, I have been struggling in a way that is difficult to articulate. In January this year I was working for Pizza Hut, doing delivery work in this new Northern City that I share with some tumblr mutuals.

One night at the end of the evening I was robbed. I wasn't physically hurt but a man pulled a gun on me instead of paying for his pizza and had an accomplice take the thermal bag and walk away.

Man put a gun in my face and threatened to end my life for pizza. When I get back to the store my manager was wildly unhelpful aggressive with the cops, and generally uncompassionate to me.

I quit a couple of days later because said manager wouldn't make changes to our delivery range after a certain times of day in order to protect me, the only delivery driver that actually worked for this particular store. Every other delivery was literally handled by doordash.

I've been struggling ever since, in some ways financially but in a larger metaphysical way that I haven't really been able to give voice to until a couple of days ago.

I admit being hung up on the fact that a man put a gun in my face over Pizza. I don't know if it's reasonable to be hung up on that fact, that a man threatened to end my life over take out. And given that context, I have struggled pretty immensely to give a single solitary fuck about the normal things that I had been worried about before then.

How do I fucking care about a cubicle job in the face of that?

There's a phrase; don't borrow grief from the future. But given that the guy put a gun in my face there is only the potential of what he could have stopped if he had pulled the trigger. All the books I haven't written, the friends I haven't met, the partner I haven't seen, like.

I would like to have a more stable job, and make more reliable money but I just can't bring myself to fucking care about the pantomime of the nine to five. And that's really hard to deal with because it's just like, I can't ignore that I almost fucking died over Pizza, it's not fucking worth it and yet that's what happened. And I'm supposed to just keep on playing the exact same game as if that's all my life is fucking worth? 15 bucks an hour and dying for pizza?

I don't know how I'm going to solve my money problem. But I'm kind of throwing myself into my art and my patreon and my streaming because it's just like those are the only things that matter, cuz it ain't about the money it's the fact that like these are tangible things that will be left when I'm gone. There will be art with my name on it that will be left in my absence.

I hope to live for many decades and spend a lot of time with the woman I love and my friends and just experiencing a big beautiful world, but the violence of capitalism is making it really fucking hard to cope with there being no recourse to; I almost died over takeout and I'm now fundamentally incapable of playing the game of being a happy little cog in a worthless machine.

I cannot physically do it.

[canonkiller]

so gaze upon this wretched thing and know that it is love

[madqueenalanna]

been seeing homies get deep into "the terror" and making me want to rewatch SO i spent two hours in the dead of night reading the wiki/the subreddit/other linked articles and like. one of those articles was deadass fucked up

there was a woman who spoke inuktitut who was writing a book containing a lot of inuit oral histories, and in nunavut she was able to hear passed-down recollections of when survivors from the franklin expedition were passing through

and like. i can't imagine being an inuit family/group, knowing that europeans exist but having never seen them, seeing 8-9 shambling, blue-skinned, cold-to-the-touch out-of-their-minds white men come wandering by. they invited the men inside their igloos for warmth, for food, to be hospitable. the men refused to eat, refused to speak, and when trade was offered, clutched their possessions close and refused to entertain the idea of trade. this was, offputting, to say the least. the group set them up in their own igloo, with their own fire, and left three whole seals for them to eat. and then they fled cause what the FUCK get out of there. they came back in a few days to check on the strangers. the three seals were completely untouched, while all of the men had killed and eaten each other

i mean. fuck dude. there are obviously pretty dark angles to view the franklin expedition from– honestly can't think of a good angle, it's pure colonialism and british exceptionalism– but that specific interaction, that inuit group who were living lives as normal until a dozen fucking walking dead showed up and did cannibalism. no wonder that story got passed down, i'd be shitting my pants if i saw that

[bacchuschucklefuck]

typical tavern scene

[absolutelybatty]

Horror movie fans are so funny because you'll bring up the biggest actor who's in 10,000 iconic roles, and they'll go, "Oh, the guy from Blood Burger 4: Keep Flipping." and that's the only thing on their filmography that they've seen.

[s0up1ta]

they're so doomed yaoi i hate them

full thing under the cut:

[liimonadas]

im actually obsessed with 2-4 phoenix he is tired of all this bullshit. i love how he does not say a word for like 5 minutes after edgeworth enters the room

[dooblebrain]

Hello, Gordon!

I get it man, sometimes you look at the void too long and become a little murdery it happens

[irishvampireboy]

thinking about eddie getting arrested one night by Hopper and officer whats-his-face and when they turn their backs on him for a second he fucking bolts.

hands cuffed behind his back he books it down the street and they're both chasing him, and it plays out like the scene from super bad, neither of them can catch him cuz he's wicked fast and they just end up panting in the middle of the road as he jangles his way into the distance, Hopper with his hands on his knees, gasping for breathe like "he's a freak. He's the fastest kid alive."

[araekniarchive]

@mnvart // Kaveh Akbar, 'Calling A Wolf A Wolf' // @PinkRangerLB on Twitter // @kosmogrl // @devinsturk, '15 Proverbs for the Fellow Chronically Ill' // Jasmine Deporta // Anaïs Nin, House of Incest // the gentle wisdom uquiz by @inkskinned // Rora Blue, 'Sweet Dreams' // Hala Alyan, Dear Layal

[ama-a93]

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

[rocketbirdie]

cat nap with a lap dog

[demapatto-art]

All | more body swap sillies

[hollytree33]

Hi so I might’ve made a painting of my Inquisitor while trying to mimic Solas’s style so I can pretend he made it

[mossflower]

i love eda. my girl took a random demon home as a pet then realised he was sentient and spent 8 years calling him her roommate before she adopted him. and then she found out he was jesus

[hyuckonia]

deuce fucking dies dot jpg

bonus:

old man breaks back laughing at lame joke too hard 😂😂😂😔