#hes on no hours of sleep running on anxiety barely processing what just happened

[liimonadas]

im actually obsessed with 2-4 phoenix he is tired of all this bullshit. i love how he does not say a word for like 5 minutes after edgeworth enters the room

[rinniessance]

DADDY'S FAVORITE GIRL ༊*·˚ - step dad!gojo x fem!reader

going away for college, the last thing you expected to come back to in the summer is a new step-dad. and you do not like the dangerous glint in his eyes every time he looks at you.

꒰ warnings: nsfw - dark content - mdni .ᐟ.ᐟ non-curse au. step dad!gojo, stepcest, age difference (reader is implied to be 21, gojo is in his late 30s), dubcon, gaslighting, manipulation, cheating, heavy daddy kink, so many pet names (babygirl, pretty, doll, princess etc.), slight dacraphyllia, slight overstimulation, breeding kink, unprotected sex, virginity loss, corruption kink. plot is kinda messy 'cause i was rushing to get to the smut, sowwy ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ // word count: 5.1k ꒱ ꒰ notes: i am freely being my most disgusting self, thank you for supporting my little insane brain .ᐟ.ᐟ꒱

going away for college, the last thing you expected to come back to during summer break is a new step-dad. ever since your parents divorced when you were 14, your mom has been single – your teenage years, she dedicated herself to you, protecting you from your scumbag father, focusing on your future. you even agreed to delay your college admittance until you were 20, taking two gap years after your high school to stay at your hometown with her. your mom has the worst case of separation anxiety – which is why maybe you should’ve been more concerned when she gradually stopped texting you as the days went on. you assumed the best – maybe she found a hobby, maybe she reconnected with old friends, maybe she finally realized you are an adult and stopped babying you every waking moment. what you did not expect is for her to get married.

these are the thoughts running through you head as you stand in the middle of your living room, fresh out the airport, gawking at the man sleeping on the couch, and wonder how the fuck that happened. you would’ve honestly screamed and thought this was a squatter, or a robber, if not for all the wedding pictures obnoxiously decorating almost every available surface (god, how many photos do you need?). you try not to think too much about it – the flight was 6 hours, you barely got any sleep sitting to the smelliest man on the planet, and you just want to take a shower and go to bed. just as you start walking off, the front door swings open.

“oh my god, sweetheart, you’re home!” your mom’s voice booms through the quiet room resonating like a thunderclap in the middle of a still field. she runs to you, immediately pulling you into a hug which you happily return. you’re genuinely delighted to see her, albeit feeling a little weirded out by a man she decided to bring home. your mother looks over to the couch, man’s sleeping figure not moving once, and sighs with exasperation. “i assume he didn’t pick you up?”

“no but it’s okay…” you whisper quietly and gesture towards the figure on the couch with your head, “about that, though…”

“yeah, honey, i know, i am sorry i didn’t tell you. everything has been happening so quickly, i haven’t even had time to process it myself!” she squealed like a school girl. “his name is satoru gojo and we met at the charity event i went to six months ago.”

“since when do you attend charity events?” you ask, quirking the brow upwards.

“oh, i didn’t know what to do with myself ever since you moved out so i’ve been trying anything and everything. and look, the results have been phenomenal!” she giggled, frustration she had towards her husband about not picking you up melting away in front of your eyes. god, he really had her wrapped around his finger.

“okay, well, i am kind of tired so i wanted to go to bed. is it okay if we talk about this tomorrow?”

your mom suddenly looks down at her feet, a little embarrassed. what did she do.

“yes, about that… that room was sitting unutilized the whole time you were away so satoru and i thought it would be a good idea to remake it into a home office, kind of. your bed is still in there though! so you can sleep in the room no problem.”

“mom, what the fuck…” you whine. not only your room with all your memories and all your personality was gone and demolished, you now have to sleep in the room that was most likely used by him. “home office” my ass, you thought – your mom would not need it in a million years, and by the way she’s avoiding your gaze in shame, it was definitely not her idea.

“i’m sorry baby, but you’ve been away and…”

you interrupt her with a wave of your hand.

“whatever, i’m too tired to think about it. i’ll take a shower and go to bed, i don’t wanna deal with him until tomorrow,” you sigh with frustration and walk off into your home office, dropping your things on the floor.

what you don’t see as you walk off is the dangerous glint in satoru’s eyes as he listens to every bits of your conversation. you said the last sentence with so much poison, he thinks it might’ve struck him dead. gojo knows it will be difficult to get on your good side now but he likes to play these games on hard mode.

oh, you will be so much fun to break.

gojo satoru is a patient man – when he really wants something, he is content to wait until he gets it. that being the main reason why he approaches you slowly. it’s the next day after you arrive that he has a chance to introduce himself properly.

you leave the room after having the best night’s sleep – you really didn’t mind waking up in the office today, you must’ve been too tired to think straight and threw a fit yesterday. you make a mental note to apologize to your mom later. as you turn into the kitchen, you’re met with the view you wish did not have such a strong effect on you – your step-dad, freshly out of the shower, grey sweatpants low riding on his hips, is preparing what seems to be breakfast.

you’re so fucked.

you try to shake off the feeling of arousal washing over you. you may not have had a chance to have any sexual experiences yet, but you’re not that much of a virgin not to know when you’re feeling horny. you just wish it wasn’t due to the incredibly hot step-dad. the left-over frustration from previous night bubbles up like over spilled champagne and you decide to keep your distance. anger helps you keep yourself grounded, and you maneuver around the man to make breakfast, but you see that he prepared it for you already.

“oh, thank you,” you say quietly as he extends the plate to you.

“you’re very welcome, sweetheart.”

the nickname sends a shiver down your spine.

gojo turns to face you and gives you his breathtaking smile. you want to choke on your toast.

“i wanted to apologize for not picking you up yesterday. your mom told me so much about you, and i was excited to meet her ‘favorite girl’,” his eyes spark with a dangerous glint at the nickname, making you shrink into yourself, “but my work held me up, and then i think i went for a quick nap and… uh… ended up falling asleep,” he says with a light chuckle.

“that’s okay, i didn’t really mind the train ride,” you respond with visible discomfort,

he now stands next to you by the counter, his body heat palpable, melting over you like a scorching son. gojo’s all-teeth smile is gorgeous, frustratingly enough, but it makes your skin crawl: like a prey walking into the carefully designed trap, you can feel your gut asking you to run. it makes sense your mom fell for him so easily.

“will you let me make up for it? let’s go our for a dinner, i’m sure your mom would be delighted to hear we’re trying to get along.”

“i don’t know, i haven’t seen my friends in some time, i think i’ll be hanging out with them for a while,” you shuffle from leg to leg, trying to move away

“that’s okay, we have a whole summer ahead.”

for some reason it felt more like a threat than a promise.

you smile politely back, not knowing what to say, rushing to finish your breakfast. the image of your step-dad, half-naked in your family kitchen talking to you about his plans with you for the whole summer should be weird – it’s difficult to find it weird when the said step-dad is criminally hot, unfortunately.

“i think i’ll go now, thanks for the breakfast,” gojo’s gives you a smile so sweet, it somehow triggers a toothache, and waves you off. since yesterday, he’s been making you feel extremely on edge for no apparent reason, it’s driving you a little insane.

when you come back home that evening, you are greeted by both your mom and satoru with the dinner ready. she babbles about how great of a cook he is, and that she can’t wait until you try it. you politely decline citing that you’re full and quickly leave for your room – satoru’s blue eyes were looking at you with almost an animalistic stare, and you hated that you liked it.

gojo thought things were going well with you – he’s given you the space you need in the first two weeks after you arrived. your mom was overjoyed seeing how deeply satoru already cared about you – making sure you eat in the morning, not letting you go to bed without a meal, always checking on you throughout the day, keeping you safe. you, however, thought it was… weird, if anything, that he was all around you this intensely.

“oh, honey, that’s just how he shows that he cares. he was like that with me as well,” your mom tells you one of the nights when you bring it up. it worries you how easily she takes his side now and wonder if something else is going on.

satoru picks you up when you stay out too late, to the wee hour of the night when the subways stop running; he makes sure you have your nights with your mom, when he doesn’t intrude on your backyard conversations and only adores you pretty features from his second-floor window; he learns what movies and music and tv you like, trying to decipher the person that is you.

he’s been putting all this effort to get to know your every step – then why the fuck does he find you one night you kissing some random boy on your driveway?

you said you were going out today and no pickup was needed – now it makes sense why.

gojo satoru is a patient man. but even his patience can start running thin, trickling like water through cracks in the fingers. hourglass of his kindness has been half full for a while now – it’s about time the sand runs out.

you think a boy like him can give you what satoru can? just you wait and see.

kitchen is uncharacteristically quiet when you walk in. it’s the next morning, and usually by now, satoru would be making breakfast for you. his job is still unknown – you are not sure if he was suddenly called in but the feeling of happy solitude falls over you, even if for a moment.

your mom is gone at least for two weeks for work, you’re dreading the moment you have to be left alone with your step-dad. the look in his eyes yesterday was dangerous, a predator appraising its victim before sinking its teeth in, and you’re happy megumi was able to leave quickly after walking you home. surprisingly, gojo didn’t say you a word when you walked into the house, silently sitting in front of the tv like he didn’t just spy through the window on your kiss with the boy.

air in the room was heavy with tension – you knew satoru was avoiding looking your way, jaw clenched, hands balled into fists. instinctively, you wanted to break the silence, say something to discharge the electricity jumping through the atoms of your stuffy living room air, but ultimately decided against it. you have nothing to say to a man, and it’s not like you needed to justify your actions in front of him anyways. you quickly retreated into the office and avoided him until you fell asleep.

when you woke up to an empty apartment not even fifteen minutes ago, you felt relief. walking into the kitchen and confirming your presence alone, you even felt happy. then what is this weird feeling, almost as if you are missing something, nagging at you? you thought of going out today but now a strange desire to stay at home washes over.

you make breakfast for the first time since you came home (gojo didn’t skip a single day, you have no idea how he kept up with that), and you chastise yourself for feeling weird about cooking for yourself; and you chastise yourself again when your mind lingers on the thoughts of a certain white-haired man; and again when you look at your phone, convincing yourself it’s a bad idea to text him. god, you feel so stupid. didn’t you want him to stop being so unsettlingly sweet and dotting around you all the time?

conflicted by your irrationality once again, you frustratingly take your plate and sit down on the couch. flipping through the netlifx previews, you land on something to distract your mind by. you settle on some true crime documentary and let the horrors on the screen consume you, abandoning for a moment the thoughts plaguing your head.

you’ve been glued to the screen for at least two hours before you heard the jiggle of the keys. like an eager puppy, you waited for gojo to come inside and greet you like he would every day – only for him to completely ignore your presence, beelining straight for the kitchen. turning your head back to the tv, you try your best not to pay any attention to the uncharacteristic behavior from satoru’s end.

“i will be in the home office the whole day, don’t enter.”

before you can respond anything back, your step-dad is already walking off without sparing you a second glance. is he still upset from yesterday? you didn’t think kissing megumi would be that much of a deal. your nervously play with the hem of the blanket, show playing on tv long forgotten, contemplating what you should do next. why are you bothered by his silence this much anyways?

rethinking your earlier choice, you send a quick text to your friend asking to meet you for drinks. maybe right now gojo needs space, or whatever, and leaving him alone is the best next thing right now. you knock at the door of the home office.

“sorry, i am going out now and need to quickly change.”

not even 5 seconds pass before the door is swung open by a man that’s been occupying too much of your mental space today.

“be quick,” is the only response you get before he leaves the room and closes the door behind him. you’re perplexed by this sudden change in behavior yet again. throwing on the first decent outfit you can find, you let gojo know that you’re done and will be home later; hum is the only acknowledgment you get before he disappears in the office.

exiling all the thoughts of satoru gojo from your head, you leave your house, hoping tomorrow will put all the pieces of the puzzle back together.

yet the next day comes, and you still wake up to no warmth from satoru – it felt as if he built a wall between the two of you in one night’s span, impossible to be breached. should you talk to him? should you apologize? and apologize for what? you didn’t do anything wrong, did you? ignoring the gnawing feeling inside once more, you retreat to the living room, sulking on the couch until the end of the day, clawing onto the hope gojo of tomorrow will acknowledge your existence.

“did i do something wrong?”

you stand in the doorway to gojo’s office, arms crossed over your chest. he lazily turns his head your way as if giving you even a second of his time is too much of a bother – the look he sends you is burning through your core, making you pathetically weak and wet.

“no,” he starts slowly, “do you think you did something wrong?”

“i don’t know! that’s why i’m asking. you’ve been ignoring me for the past week, and it’s getting weird.”

“i thought i’d leave you alone, it seems you’re capable of having fun on your own.”

satoru is looking back to his screen now, and you scrunch your eyebrows, frustrated by the riddles he’s throwing your way. walking inside the room, your close the door on instinct and take wide steps to stand in front of him.

“stop answering me like this, we’re not playing a charade. what do you mean?” the demand in your voice is clear, and it twists something inside satoru – his gaze falls on you again yet this time it’s dark, taunting, dangerous, with a hint of chaos. it scares and excites you.

gojo suddenly stands up, and pushes you into his desk until you’re sitting on it. he is tall – your mom basically married a giant – and you try to curl into yourself to escape his malicious eyes.

“what, i thought you wanted me to leave your alone? you want my attention now all of a sudden?” he respond with the question of his own in a mocking tone.

“i never said i wanted you to ignore me…” you answer meekly, yelping slightly as your back hits his desk – you suddenly realize there is nowhere to run now.

“really? we’ve been together in a house for almost a month now, and yet you showed no interest in getting to know me.”

“’m sorry…” you cannot think of anything else to say. gojo moves even closer, and is now towering over you – it makes you embarrassingly horny.

“show me how sorry you are.”

before you can respond, he is caging your body with his and capturing your lips in a kiss, and you freeze – all of this is so wrong, you cannot bring yourself to start moving your mouth against his. gojo’s tongue coerces its way inside, exploring the undiscovered paths, his teeth biting your still lips. closing your eyes, you whimper and try to push him away but he only catches your wrists with his one hand, while the other plays with the hem of your shorts. a gasp escapes your lips, and you push yourself further into the desk, squirming under gojo’s body.

“what, you don’t like it? i thought my little girl wanted daddy’s attention?” he torments you, voice condescending and thick with mockery. all you can muster is a pathetic mewl, words lost somewhere inside your throat, and dig your fingers into the edge of your desk as your step-dad forces his digits inside your panties, lightly brushing against your clit.

“god, you’re already so wet, so filthy,” he whispers between the heated kisses as the pads of his fingers keep teasing your pussy. “tell me, babygirl, are you still a virgin? gotta know how to treat you.”

“y-yes…”

“well, am i just not the luckiest?” gojo chuckles darkly, spreading your legs with his thigh. unoccupied hand goes to grip your hip while the fingers on the other are still working your clit, sliding the digits between your puffy lips, teasing your hole. every time he circles around the entrance and mocks by pushing his finger just slightly inside, the moan builds up in your throat, and you’re too embarrassed to let it out.

“common, baby, your daddy wants to hear you, don’t hide your pretty voice from me.”

gojo is infuriatingly good with his fingers – you could never bring yourself this much pleasure from playing with your clit, and your defiance starts melting away as you find yourself bucking your hips into his hand, whining pitifully. the man completely removes your shorts and underwear, shoving the latter into his pocket – something to remember this moment by.

“god, such a pretty pussy, i can’t believe you’ve been hiding it from me. take off your shirt so i can see all of you, princess.”

immense desire pools between your legs, hunger and lust evident in satoru’s cerulean eyes, now hidden by dilated pupils, and you’re surrendering yourself to him – want makes you delirious, completely erasing your sense of right and wrong. you remove the top, nipples perked and waiting. gojo looks at you in wonder and disbelief – all of that for him? his hand went to squeeze your boob almost on an instinct, rolling the nipple between the pads of his fingers, while sucking on another with his mouth. you drop your head back, losing yourself to the intense pleasure your step-dad’s giving you. seeing as you’re distracted by him playing with your tits, he takes this as his chance to shove two of his fingers inside.

a strangled moan leaves your lips, your hands gripping man’s shoulders.

“ahhh, that hurts, satoru.”

“nah-uh, that’s not what i want to hear you calling me,” he straightens himself and starts scissoring you with his digits. the initial intrusion is painful, you can feel your virgin walls stretching to accommodate for how he’s dragging the fingers in and out, yet the burn is woefully delightful, and you’re getting lost again.

“’m sorry daddy.”

gojo only chuckles – god, you were easier than he expected, so well-behaved and pliable under him.

“that’s right, let daddy take good care of you.”

he speeds up the pace, curling his slender, pretty fingers, brushing the spots you were never able to reach with your own. wet, soggy sounds fill the entirety of the room, air already stuffy with smell of sex as he continues to finger-fuck your pussy. gojo could feel his cock twitching in his pants, he wanted to take you right there and then, but he was determined to make you cum on his digits first – it prompts him to attach his lips to your neck, sucking on the sensitive spot below your jawline, marking you as his.

your mewling turns louder, breathing is getting labored, and it seems your hips have a mind of their own now as they are bucking into satoru’s movements, fucking yourself how you need it. something akin to orgasm starts building up in your tummy – it has never felt this all-consuming, you wonder if you’ve been touching yourself wrong all this time.

“daddy, please don’t – ah! – stop,” is everything you can say in a measly attempt to ask him to speed up. his thumb finds your neglected clit, rubbing tight circles around your bundle of nerves, and picks up the pace, cunt now clenching even tighter around his two fingers, and gojo groans thinking how you’d feel around his aching dick. he adds a third finger – it’s angled so perfectly assault your special spongy spot, it turns your brain into a mush.

gojo pinches your nipple, kissing you to swallow all the lewd moans to himself.

“is my princess close?”

“yes daddy, ‘m so close.”

“common, cum all over my fingers, baby.”

these words finally push you over the edge – your climax washes over you like a cold morning shower, leaving you trembling in gojo’s hold. your legs are trying to close to stop the man from continuing his abuse on your twitching pussy but he is too lost in the feeling of your walls constricting around his fingers to allow you to do that. he fucks you through your orgasm, bringing you to the realm of overstimulation.

“ahh, daddy, please, it hurts now,” you whine with teary voice, beads of salty water gathering in the corners of your eyes.

“shhhh, daddy knows best, yeah? let me feel you a little longer.”

gojo keeps his pace until you’re clawing at his arm, trying to pull away your pussy from his fingers. he grabs you by the back of your head, bruising your lips with the intensity of his kiss – you’re sure he draws blood by how he bites your lower lip, licking the messy aftermath. you’re still whining and mewling, trails of tears finally flowing down your face, and he’s sure he’s never seen anything hotter as he licks the salty tracks.

“you’ve done so good, babygirl, i think you’re ready for the main gift,” satoru says and finally withdraws his fingers. the emptiness is welcoming yet disappointing, and you groan. gojo quickly unbuckles his pants and shoves them down, alongside his boxer briefs, and you almost choke on your spit when you see how well-endowed he is. you don’t have a lot to compare it to but you think his cock is beautiful – it's long and slender, and uncut, prominent vein running all the way from the base to just underside of his head, and you get an immeasurable desire to run your tongue along it.

“is my pretty doll drooling jus’ at the sight of my dick?” he mockingly asks you, making you turn your gaze away. gojo chuckles again, and grabs you by your chin, pulling your head down.

“no looking away, darling, i want you to see how i take your virginity.”

with no other option, you keep your gaze peeled downwards, to where gojo strokes himself couple of times before lining himself up with your leaking hole. despite all the preparation and your previous orgasm, you’re still incredibly tight and satoru groans as he starts pushing himself inside. you can see his smooth cockhead bullying his way into you, stretching your greedy walls – man feels you pulsating around him, and that makes him twitch.

“fuck, princess, you’re so tight, feels so good.”

gojo finally sinks all the way in, your cervix being met in a kiss by a swollen tip, and you moan, sound almost pornographic. your step-dad doesn’t let you adjust before he pulls out almost all the way before sliding back in – he doesn’t go easy on you for your first time, setting up a brutal pace, not caring if you’re ready to take him fully yet. it stings, and you have to hold yourself on gojo’s shoulder’s as he starts fucking into you. his hands are on your hips, guiding them to meet his thrusts.

“daddy please, ‘ts too much,” you cry out but satoru is all too lost in how your gummy walls perfectly hug his swollen cock. he doesn’t respond, shutting you up by forcing his tongue into his mouth yet again, sucking on every piece of available flesh. slowly, the tension in your body melts away and gives way to a new kind of pressure – the one building up in your tummy. you’re shocked at how fast your body is able to start getting on the road to blissful ecstasy again but you’re not complaining.

“shit, are you getting close already, babygirl? i can feel your pretty pussy squeezing me again.”

“yes, sorry daddy.”

“there is nothing to be sorry about, just means your daddy’s doing a good job,” he says with a grin, keeping up the pace, rutting into your sloppy cunt. queefing sounds and slapping of skin on skin make you blush furiously yet you can’t take away your gaze from where satoru keeps burying himself inside you.

the girth of gojo’s cock is deadly – not only he’s able to reach the spongy spot almost immediately, making white spots dancing across your vision, kaleidoscope of pleasure lighting up your every nerve ending, he is also bruising your cervix just with enough pressure to make you twitch in delight. his pubic bone grinds against your puffy clit and it’s setting up fireworks against your skin, hot molten lava igniting your whole being.

your moaning becomes uncontrollable as satoru’s fucking you in an animalistic pace – he keeps splitting you open, the spread of legs is slowly growing uncomfortable.

“look how good you’re taking me, being such a good girl for me,” he’s babbling, edging himself too – he wants to feel you spasming around his cock, he cannot let himself cum before that. “gonna feel so good cumming inside, pretty. give you a cute little brother or sister, huh? what do you think? i bet you’ll look so gorgeous being pregnant with my baby.”

“no, daddy, you can’t do that…”

“hm, why? just imagine, you walking around, with my child inside your belly, all cute and swollen for me, tits full of milk. wouldn’t you want that?”

you hiccup a sob as gojo keeps dragging his heavy cock in and out of you, the vein you saw before pressing against your walls deliciously, and you feel your toes start to curl as your body chases after the second orgasm. you dig your nails into his biceps, certain to leave half moon marks on his porcelain skin, and bite your lip. in turn, he is pressing his fingers against the plum skin of your hips, marking you with bruises to remind you of this tomorrow.

“shit, i haven’t fucked your cunny for that long yet it’s already perfectly snuggled around me. i’m training it fast, huh? i’m gonna teach it to fit only me,” you can hear the grin in his voice as he says that.

gojo feels your walls tighten around him – he can see you’re teetering on the edge of climax, whining and moaning under the man, letting him completely use you – so he picks up the speed, assaulting your abused pussy. it doesn’t take longer than that for the tension in your tummy to snap, and you’re wantonly crying out satoru’s name.

“fuck, dollface, you’re squeezing me so perfectly right now. want to milk me for all i’ve got?”

you’re cock drunk, unable to respond to him, hoping your mewling will be enough for the man to see he fucked you stupid. he is not showing signs of slowing down – you can only continue whining as satoru chases after his own pleasure. he pistons his hips couple of times more, and you can feel him throbbing inside as he shoots creamy ropes of cum inside you, painting your womb white. the ring of mixed fluids at the bottom of his cock drives him insane, and he continues fucking his cum into you.

“shit baby, can’t waste a single drop now, can we.”

you’re letting out a quiet sob, pleasure too overwhelming and almost feverish, still unable to find your voice. when he deems it satisfactory that his seed is all warm inside you, gojo finally pulls out and kisses the top of your head.

“i’d say this was a good practice run, what do you say? your mom only comes back in a week, i’ll make you my personal cumdump until then.”

you snap your head up at his words, the smile playing on your step-dad’s face borderline sinister. you think it’s supposed to make you scared, then why is your pussy already twitching around nothing?

“yes daddy, anything for you.”

[starrydixon]

Despair (Part 2)

Part 1

Era: Season 9 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Pronouns: She/Her Word Count: 7.1k (whoops) Warnings: language, cheating, grief, brief mention of suggestive themes (if you squint), self-loathing, anxiety, angst

Summary: After three years of struggling to cope with the reality that the love of your life had cheated on you with another woman, your questions are finally answered when Daryl makes an unexpected visit to Alexandria.

You couldn’t sleep most nights. Despite how hard you had worked that day, desperately trying to distract and tire yourself out by volunteering for numerous jobs around the community: working in the gardens, helping construct new homes, taking inventory of weapons and supplies, doing laundry, or cleaning every square inch of your house…you still couldn’t sleep.

You would try every remedy, drink any herbal concoction Siddiq would recommend, and practice mindfulness and meditation…it didn’t matter. You would still end up wide awake at night, staring up at the ceiling of your bedroom, and envisioning how it had happened.

Each night was a different scenario, a different position, a different view. But it was always the same in the end; seeing Daryl’s bare body pressed against a blurry and unidentifiable figure of a naked woman that wasn’t you. In lightbulb succession, these visions would plague your mind as you tossed and turned in your sheets. An ache would weigh heavily on your chest while burning nausea rose in your throat whenever you got to the part where Daryl would touch the woman in the ways that he used to touch you and only you.

And just when the sun would begin to peek over the horizon, and you had cried every last tear your body could spare, you’d then get a few hours of sleep before repeating the same cycle all over again.

You needed closure from him. You didn’t know the exact kind you were in search of, but you knew that you had questions that needed answers. Each day you would tell yourself that you were ready to face him, but those days began to turn into weeks, those weeks turned to months, those months became a year, and before you knew it, three more years had gone by since you had last seen or spoken to Daryl.

So, when Michonne came back from the Hilltop after helping Siddiq escort a group of new survivors, and told you that she had seen Daryl there, you felt like an invisible force had punched you in the gut. You didn’t know if it was hearing his name and getting an update about him after so many years of nothing that had you thrown for a loop, or if it was the fact that he had finally left his isolated camp in the woods and was taking shelter at one of the communities again. 

From what you had gathered, Carol had asked Daryl to be her son’s temporary guardian while he learned the trade of blacksmithing at the Hilltop. Although it hurt you to learn that Daryl left the woods after six years for Carol and her son that he barely knew instead of you, you were curious as to what had finally driven him back to civilization. You assumed it was because Carol had the uncanny talent of persuasion.

That was days ago, and since then, you had been keeping yourself even busier around the community. Not only were you trying to distract yourself from the new and old thoughts you had about Daryl, but also from the potential new threat that could endanger all four of the communities. From her visit at the Hilltop, Michonne also learned that there was a group that hid themselves in herds of the undead by disguising themselves in walker skins. Without having run into a major threat in a little over six years, you couldn’t help but be on edge about a potential new war.

“I think you need to slow down.” 

You practically jumped out of your skin at the sound of Michonne’s voice. Spinning around on your heels, your eyes fell to her figure leaning against the side of the house that the communal clothes line was attached to. You were currently in the process of taking down your freshly washed, and now dried, laundry. Although the breeze was beginning to get colder and feel more prominent, the sun that shone down on Alexandria still managed to cancel out the gusts and cast warm rays down on your laundry, drying them rather efficiently.

“Shit Michonne, you almost made me piss my pants—and I just finished washing my clothes for the week.” You sighed as you rubbed a hand over your erratic heartbeat. 

One side of Michonne’s mouth quirked up in an amused smile as her shoulders shrugged loosely. “Seems to me that you’re off your game.”

Rolling your eyes at her comment, you turned back to the clothes line. “I’m fine.”

“Only a person who’s not fine would say that.” Michonne spoke with a teasing lilt in her voice. 

Shaking your head, you picked up the t-shirt you had previously dropped. Folding up the fabric haphazardly, you lightly tossed it in the laundry basket that was placed beside your feet. Turning back to the clothesline, you focused on taking down the bed sheet next. “Do you need something? Or are you just here to scare me for your own amusement?”

The hairs on the back of your neck stood on end when Michonne’s prolonged silence became unsettling. Removing your hovering fingers from the corner clothespin that secured the bedsheet to the wire, you slowly turned around to reface Michonne; who was uncharacteristically avoiding your gaze. 

“What’s wrong?” There was a slight quiver in your voice as your chest began to swell with unidentifiable emotion. There were about a hundred possibilities as to what could have caused Michonne’s sudden unease, and each possibility that flashed through your brain seemed to become worse than the last the longer she stayed quiet.

“Daryl’s here.” Michonne bluntly stated once she was able to meet your worried gaze. 

At the sound of his name alone, your ears began to ring and the blood that flowed through your veins rushed to all the major muscle groups in your body, leaving your head pounding and your arms and legs feeling heavy and constricted. Your breath got stuck in your throat, and your previously recovered erratic heartbeat began to pick up again.

Why was he here?

Did something happen at Hilltop?

He’s here?

Why?

At the sound of Michonne’s concerned voice calling out to you, you snapped out of your increasingly spinning thoughts. Focusing your vision back on Michonne, who had taken a few steps towards you in the midst of your fight or flight response, you struggled to form a coherent thought. 

“Are you sure?” The second the words came out of your mouth, you knew it was a stupid question to ask. Daryl Dixon was one of the most distinctive guys who had ever met; it was hard to mistake him as someone else. 

“I’m sure.” Michonne stated confidently as her arms crossed over her chest. For a moment, all you could manage was a nod of your head in acknowledgment as you took one step back to reground yourself. It felt like the verbal confirmation was akin to a physical push in the shoulders.

Although you couldn’t find the capacity to verbally ask Michonne why Daryl was suddenly at Alexandria, she seemed to have sensed that the question was running through your head. “He also came with Henry, Connie, and Lydia, that girl from the skins I was telling you about…I guess Henry decided to go after Lydia once Hilltop handed her over to the skins, and Daryl had to go after him.”

“Oh…” You ran a hand over your face in distress before placing the same hand on your hip. Every nerve ending in your body felt like it was on fire, causing tingling sensations to form in the tips of your fingers, and sweat to begin to prick at your hairline. 

“Are you okay?” Michonne voiced again worriedly as she eyed the way you seemed to become increasingly weary. 

“Yeah…I’m fine. I just need a minute.” You weakly reassured Michonne while straightening up your once slumped posture the best you could. 

“Okay…he’s with Judith down by the water, just in case you decide to either talk to him or avoid him.” Michonne stated with a barely there teasing lilt in her voice.

Nodding your head in acknowledgment, your unfocused gaze fell onto your boots as you saw Michonne’s figure leave you from the corner of your eye. You found yourself cursing under your breath and bringing your hands to the sides of your head once Michonne was completely out of sight. 

You knew this day would come eventually; you had been anticipating it for almost three years. Hell, some days you even prayed that you could will yourself to go out in the woods and find him, just so you could get it over with. Now that it was so close to happening, so close that you could almost touch it, you found yourself being filled with panic instead of relief. You weren’t sure when you wanted to confront Daryl, as you could hardly form a coherent thought, but you figured you had a little while before you had to face reality. Wiping your clammy hands on your jeans and shaking your head to get rid of the frantic thoughts that raced through your mind, you got back to work with removing your laundry from the clothesline and placing them in your laundry basket.

Before you even knew it, you were walking back to your townhouse with a filled and heavy laundry basket digging uncomfortably into your hip. Although it took longer, you found yourself avoiding the path home that passed the waterway. Rapid thoughts that wouldn’t quiet, not even for a minute, raced through your mind as you walked.

How do I talk to him?

What do I say?

Does he even want to talk?

Am I ready for this?

Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt something brush against your legs, and something wet poke at your hand that was cradled underneath the laundry basket. Gasping out of shock and taking a few stumbling steps back, your wide eyes fell down to a furry creature; who was wiggling its body excitedly and wagging its tail happily at you.

“Oh! Hello!” Dropping the laundry basket forgetfully, you gaped in awe at the dog in front of you. “Where did you come from!?” Before smothering the dog in affection, you raised your hand to its nose.

After the dog had given your hand a few sniffs, he practically jumped up onto you, as if he knew you. Unbeknownst to you, the canine was already quite familiar with you, as he spent most nights sleeping on top of a blanket that was laced with your scent.“You’re friendly, huh?” You couldn’t help but laugh as you knelt down and scratched the dog behind his ears.

You figured the dog belonged to one of the residents in Alexandria. Since you have been in your own bubble as of late, you had fallen behind on learning about who you were living around and what new things they had achieved or done. Like for instance, getting a dog. 

As you continued to pet the dog, you couldn’t help but laugh and coo at his adorableness. You couldn’t remember the last time you had interacted with a dog, so you were taking full advantage of this moment before his owner came looking.

“Dog! Where are ya!?” 

As the familiar shout reached your ears, your hands stopped moving against the dog’s fur, as if they were struck frozen. Your eyes widened with shock as you stared into the dark brown eyes of your furry friend, who was tapping his paws excitedly against the sidewalk and eagerly poking his tongue out of his mouth in an attempt to give you friendly kisses across your stricken face. 

“Where the hell...Dog! Get over here!”

His voice now came from somewhere behind you, closer in range. Falling back on your haunches, your hands fell onto your lap as the dog continued to affectionately nudge his wet nose against your loosely clasped hands, as if asking you for more pets. Your vision was completely unfocused, making the dog in front of you seem like a moving blob of black and brown fur. The muscles in your body tensed as you anxiously anticipated the moment Daryl realized that it was you who was capturing his dog’s attention, and not some random resident of Alexandria.

Your distinctive light blue sweater with white clouds sewn into the cotton was the first thing Daryl’s eyes landed on when he had gotten close enough to identify you. He remembered the day you found it; at a rundown and nearly ransacked thrift store. Daryl found it to be one of the tackiest things he had ever seen, but you saw it as a diamond in the rough. The archer grew to love that sweater, purely because you adored it so much and it always made you smile when you wore it. Even without the sweater, Daryl could have recognized you, as he had the shape of your body engraved in his mind. As his eyes danced over the back of you, his heart beat fasted and his mouth became dry. 

For a moment, his brain seemed to short-circuit as he struggled to find the right way to announce himself to you. Not knowing if you even wanted to see him, the last thing Daryl wanted to do was make you uncomfortable. Sweat began to accumulate around his hairline and trickle down his back. 

“Uh-” Daryl cleared his throat as his words got caught in his throat. “Dog, stop botherin’ her.” The archer scolded his canine before commanding him over with a whistle.

“He-He’s fine…” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you brought one of your hands to the dog’s head to give him a few gentle pats. 

“He ain’t usually like this…always listens,” Daryl sounded abashed as he tried to explain his dog’s apparent unusual behavior. “Guess he just likes ya more than me.” 

You found solace in the canine as he laid down in front of you with his head resting in your cupped hands that sat in your lap. Despite his calm and console exterior, the dog’s tail wagged wildly in happiness. You couldn’t tear your gaze away from the dog’s, mesmerized by the adorable puppy eyes he looked up at you with. 

“Sorry if he ruined your laundry…” Daryl awkwardly stated with a sheepish rub of his neck once he noticed your disregarded laundry basket. From your peripheral vision, you could see Daryl’s broad frame standing a few feet away from you.

Shaking your head dismissively, you slowly rose to your feet and brushed off the dog hair that stuck to your jeans. The dog jutted his wet nose into your hands, that now hung loosely by your sides, before leaping over towards Daryl. The archer muttered some reprimanding words to the canine for disobeying his commands.

There were so many unsaid words and thoughts that sat in the space between you and Daryl, each weighing heavily and making the air that surrounded you unbearably thick. You had no idea what to say to him, despite having thought about this exact moment and playing out every possible scenario for almost three years. 

You’ve found yourself becoming overwhelmed and drained due to so many different thoughts and emotions coursing through your mind and heart all at the same time. Your once rigged body now slumped in dejection; your arms feeling heavy and weak as they hung by your sides, head ducked that caused a few loose hairs to fall in your face and hide your dull and downcast eyes that mindlessly flickered across the concrete beneath you. 

For three years, Daryl had spent everyday thinking about you and the mess that he had made because of his actions. When he laid on top of his fur pelts at night, under the night sky in his slowly deteriorating tent, he would try to remember how vibrant the color of your eyes were, and the charmingly bright smile that often adorned your lips and never failed to make his chest swell with warmth. He would try to remember the sound of your laugh that always sounded like a symphony of the most beautiful pieces of music. With each day that passed, it was harder to see and hear, especially when the image of your anguish stricken and tear stained face, and the sounds of your body wracking sobs, were the only thing engraved in his mind now. 

When he walked through the front gates of Alexandria after nearly six years, he hoped that he would run into you during his quick stay; seeing you healed and with that smile he loved so much stretched across your brightened face. He hoped that you had found happiness again, even if it meant he had to be cut out of your life indefinitely.

Now, as his eyes flitted over your troubled face and dejected figure, he realized that you were still hurting from his actions; that the wounds he had caused you weren’t healed in the slightest. If anything, his sudden presence was probably akin to putting salt on those sensitive legions. He felt helpless as he watched you reel, once again, because of him. At the sight of you, Daryl felt his sinuses suddenly swell and tingle with emotion, his eyes pooling with tears that he had no right to shed. 

Wordlessly, you shuffled over to your disregarded laundry basket and crouched down to replace a few of the tangled clothes back in the basket. With weakening tingles still sprinkling in your arms and hands, you found it difficult to get a good grip on the handles of the heavy hamper. Noticing your struggle, Daryl instinctively reached out a helping hand. “Do ya want some help with that?”

Letting out a heavy exhale in a mixture of frustration and defeat, you sat the basket down in front of your feet. For the first time since he’s been there, you turned your gaze to look at Daryl. His unkempt dark caramel bangs framed his face and the long strands of hair fell a few inches above his collarbones. He still sported his classic leather vest, although it was placed over a distressed gray button up top that had one of the sleeves cut to his bicep, while the other was cut to the middle of his forearm. You hated the fact that you still found his face handsome, and that he was still able to take your breath away, even after all that had been said and done.

Blinking out of your slight haze, you shook your now ducked head dismissively. “You don’t have to.”

“I know…but I wanna.”

After seeing the genuineness in his steel blue eyes, you silently stepped away from the laundry basket and gave a curt nod of consent for Daryl to assist you. You didn’t know why you were letting him help you, but the thought of struggling with a heavy laundry basket was less appealing than standing in awkward silence for an indefinite out of time with Daryl. 

The walk back to your townhouse was quiet; the only sounds filling the air around you were the tapping of the canine’s nails against the pavement, and the howls of wind whenever a breeze passed by. You lead the way, with Daryl’s dog following closely beside you, and Daryl trailing behind. It was hard to tell who was more nervous as you neared the home you once shared together.

The canine was the first to bound inside once you opened the front door of your home. The corners of your mouth couldn’t help but twitch upwards in amusement at the sight of the dog’s excitement. From behind you, you could feel Daryl’s steps falter to a halt in the entryway. Turning towards him, you raised an eyebrow at the pensive expression on his face. 

Clearing his throat, Daryl’s abashed gaze fell down to the laundry basket he was holding. “Can I—Do ya want me to come in?” The archer sputtered out while shifting nervously on his feet. He knew he didn’t have a place in this home anymore, and wanted to respect whatever boundaries you may have. 

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Swallowing hard, you instructed Daryl to set the basket down on the couch in the living room. 

Hearing the excited bounds and leaps of the dog as he explored the lower level of your home, you found yourself gravitating towards the kitchen in search of a possible treat to give the canine. After rummaging through your pantry, you settled upon a few crackers. Holding the package in your hand, you shuffled back into the living room; where Daryl was patting his dog on the head and muttering commands of ‘be good’ and ‘don’t be a troublemaker’ under his breath.

“Can he have a few crackers?” Your weary voice brought Daryl’s attention back to you, and he found himself straightening out his posture when he noticed your eyes on him.

“Don’t see why not.” Daryl shrugged his shoulders loosely before commanding his canine to go over to you with a point of his finger.

Kneeling on the ground, a ghost of a smile formed on your lips as the dog eagerly took the few crackers from out of the palm of your hand. “You have a dog…” You trailed off in more of a statement than a question as you watched the canine practically inhale the treats you had given him.

Daryl hummed a vague tune of conformation as he stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “Was walkin’ around in the woods a few years ago and when he was a puppy, he just came up to me outta nowhere…looked like he was starvin’ so I brought him back to camp. Been with me ever since.”

It was almost as if the canine knew he was being talked about, because in an instant, he was back in front of you; basking in the attention that you bestowed on him. As an animal lover, it wasn’t all that shocking that you had instantly fallen in love with the dog the second you met him. You couldn’t help but give him pets whenever you could. “What’s his name?”

“Dog.” 

Pausing your scratches to the dog’s belly, you turned your gaze to look at Daryl. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.” 

“So he always knows who he is.” Daryl shrugged his shoulders loosely in nonchalance, not understanding what you found so staggering.

“Dog…” You repeated softly as you stared down into the canine's eyes while his head rested in your cupped hands. At the sight of you and Dog, Daryl’s chest swelled in warmth, making his heart feel like it was seconds away from bursting out of his chest. His breath was nearly taken from him as he watched your once dull smile morph into a more prominent and bright one; like the smile he had spent years yearning to see again. 

As you gave Dog a few more crackers, the tension began to seep back between you and Daryl. There was still a giant elephant in the room that had yet to be acknowledged, and Daryl was anxiously waiting for the moment it was. He had half the mind to bring it up himself, but he didn’t want to overstep; and if he was being honest with himself, he was selfishly enjoying the brief moments of ignorance.

You had no idea how much longer Daryl was planning on sticking around Alexandria for. But as the silence began to become even more heavy and loud, your need for peace was starting to come to a breaking point. You still weren’t sure if you were ready for the answers, but you knew it was time to rip the bandaid off and ask for them. 

Slowly, you rose from your crouched position and shuffled over to the couch. Sitting on the edge of one of the cushions, your hands clasped loosely in your lap and your eyes fell to the rug beneath you. “I have questions.”

Although he was anticipating those words coming out of your mouth, his stomach still dropped to the floor. He knew you deserved answers, and was willing to give them to you, he just wasn’t ready to see that anguish and despair morph onto your face again. Wordlessly, Daryl moved to the armchair that was a few feet away from you, and sat down on the armrest. “Ask away.”

Your mouth became dry and your heart rate picked up as you silently pondered over your next choice of words. You were embarrassed that you were suddenly drawing a blank on all the questions you knew you had. They had been plaguing your consciousness and dreams for nearly three years. As if sensing your distress, Dog trotted over and hopped onto the couch beside you before resting his head in your lap. 

“I guess my first question is…what’s her name?” You could feel bile begin to rise in your throat as your hands instinctively grasped onto Dog’s fur, as if you were anticipating a punch to the gut at any second.

“Leah.” The archer’s throat constricted, as it was suddenly hard to swallow. His unblinking eyes, which were focused on your hands running through Dog’s fur, burned as uncontrollable images of his affair flashed through his mind in lightbulb succession.

You found yourself repeating the name a few times to yourself, under your breath, as you processed the information. When you felt like you had fully digested her name, you wet your dry lips and moved on to your next question. “H-How long did it last?”

“Only happened once.” Daryl’s gaze immediately lifted to your face once the sentence came out of his mouth. Your bottom lip was tugged in between your teeth as an uncertain expression contorted your face. You didn’t believe him. “It was just a one time thing…I swear it.”

Swallowing hard, you felt salty liquid begin to sting your eyes as the next question you had burned the tip of your tongue and sent your stomach feeling like it was doing backflips on a continuous loop. It was the most dreaded one you had, and the most prominent one that hadn’t left your mind since the day Daryl had first confessed his unfaithfulness to you. “Do you love her?”

Daryl almost wanted to snort at how absurd that question was, but he quickly remembered that you didn’t have an insight on his mind; unable to know how he truly felt unless he explicitly told you himself. You didn’t know how he thought about you every single waking moment for those three years before his time with Leah, and after. You had no idea how much he loved you with every fiber of his being and how unwavering it was. Most importantly, you didn’t know how little he thought of her, and how he never saw her again after the affair had happened. Daryl found himself hating himself even more, knowing he had made you feel like he had fallen in love with someone else.

“No.”

“Then why did you sleep with her!” Your raised voice surprised you as you jumped up from the sofa you had been sitting on. At your sudden outburst, Dog jumped up onto his paws as well. Heavy silence surrounded you and Daryl as you tried to conceal the tears that threatened to pour from your eyes. Your chest heaved with heavy breaths, and your bottom lip trembled between your teeth. “You could have come home…I-I would have welcomed you in with open arms! I-” 

You were cut off by a choked sob escaping past the confines of your throat as a few tears fell unwillingly onto your cheeks.

Running his fingers through his hair in distress, Daryl began to pace in a line across the living room rug. The amount of pain you were in, that he had caused, was borderline unbearable. 

Stopping his stressed strides, Daryl turned to face you again. “‘Cause I’m a fuckin’ idiot.”

Sitting down on the cushion of the armchair, Daryl pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to gather his thoughts. The archer knew how important his next sentences were, and wanted to word them correctly. Your body stood rigged as you anxiously awaited for Daryl to continue. The unease that swelled in your body climbed painfully up your chest, making your lungs heave labored breaths. 

“It feels like everyone that’s ever been in my life, has always left at some point. They either died or didn’t find me useful no more,” Daryl spoke in a careful drawl as his clasped hands tightened around each other in order to ease the tremors that were wracking through his fingers. “I knew you’d leave too at some point…get tired of my bullshit, tryna find Rick. You’d get sick of me and move on, and I selfishly couldn’t deal with the thought of it. So I did it first; I pushed ya away.”

Your knees began to weaken under your weight, and you found yourself sitting back onto the couch so you wouldn’t end up dropping to the floor. A wave of fresh tears pooled in your eyes as you soaked in Daryl’s words. You knew he had more to say, and the tantalizing pause was making your heart feel like it was about to burst out of your chest.

“I was certain you wouldn’t want anythin’ to do with me no more, and it killed me, knowin’ that. So when I met Leah, I guess I was just tryin’ to fill that hole I made. I really only saw her as a friend–I could never be in love with anyone but you…” Daryl’s weary voice trailed off as he rubbed one of his fists in his damp eyes. The archer’s solemn face seemed to age him a few years, as his downcast eyes flitted over the rug that covered the majority of the wooden floorboards in the living room. 

“When we were stuck in the cabin during that storm, we started talkin’ about what we’ve lost. I didn’t really go into detail ‘bout anythin’, but I guess I said enough to make me wanna push those feelin’s away and forget about ‘em,” Pausing, Daryl took a few moments to compose himself as the emotions that were swelling up his chest began to seep through his voice and take control of him. “There was nothin’ to it for me, it-it just happened. That’s the only way I know to describe it, I’m sorry.”

The only sound that filled the otherwise silent room were your muffled cries and Dog’s whimpering as he desperately tried to comfort you. There was so much information to unpack, and it overwhelmed you. Despite everything that had happened, you still cared about Daryl; it was hard not to as he had been your everything for years. So hearing him express to you the agony he felt that led to the decision of pushing you away, hurt. On the other hand, you were upset at the fact that he thought so little of your loyalty to him, and didn’t believe you’d stick beside him as he grieved Rick’s disappearance.

Daryl’s head was ducked in shame as he subtly wiped away the few tears that had fallen onto his cheeks with the palm of his hand. As each one of your cries reached his ears, a pang shot through the archer’s chest painfully. For a moment, he wondered if he was physically feeling his heart break. Unable to bear the weight of witnessing your agony anymore, Daryl stood up from the chair he was sitting on and strode over to the front door. 

“I-I’ll give ya some time alone. I gotta get goin’ soon…just bring Dog over to the front gates by nightfall.” Daryl’s gravely and tight voice broke with each word he uttered. Without giving you a second glance from over his shoulder, the archer walked out of the house; leaving you alone with your spiraling thoughts and a fury and loyal companion sitting by your feet.

-

The once warmly hued sky was now a inky black as you walked towards the front gates of Alexandria. Dog trotted by your side, occasionally looking up at you to make sure you were still beside him. The gentle breeze that occasionally blew through the air earlier that day now became colder and more prominent, causing you to wrap your arms around your body in an effort to stay warm. A stocked backpack filled with granola bars, bottles of water, medical supplies, and a few articles of clothing, hung on your forearms by the straps. 

You were still upset, and feeling like you were barely holding it together, even after having a few hours to process all that was said earlier that afternoon. Although there was still a lot of information to digest, you felt stable enough to get a few coherent thoughts put together. Conflicting feelings warped your being; your heart telling you to feel empathy for Daryl and to begin to work things out as you still cared for him and loved him deeply. Meanwhile, your brain was constantly reminding you of how hurt you still were from what he had done, and that things couldn’t be forgotten or healed overnight.

Anxiety weighed heavily on your chest and your stomach felt like it was being tied up in knots as you got closer to the front gates. Your gaze fell upon a small group made up of three shadowy figures, which you quickly identified as Michonne, Judith, and Daryl. With her arms crossed over her chest, Michonne watched on from a few feet away as Daryl crouched down in front of Judith, undoubtedly saying his goodbyes to her. From beside you, Dog let out a happy bark as he bounded towards Daryl and Judith when they were within his sights. The corner of your mouth quirked upwards in admiration at the canine’s loyalty. 

After giving Judith one last final hug, Daryl was standing upright again and shifting nervously on his feet as his eyes fell upon you. The first thing he noticed was the stuffed backpack that hung off your forearm, and his stomach dropped when he realized what could be in there. Aside from the last supply bag you had given him three years ago that had a few articles of his clothing in it, he had no idea what you did with the rest of his clothes, or even his stuff, after he confessed to you about his affair. 

For all he knew, you were about to give him the last few things he owned; which would be your official act of cutting him from your life forever. Daryl knew he deserved it, and was quite surprised that you had talked to him for as long as you did, but it still made his heart sink that one of his fears was about to officially come true. 

You could see the look of concern on Michonne’s face when you met her gaze. As an attempt to ease her worries, you could only muster up a weak smile and a nod of reassurance. Seeming satisfied by your response, for now, Michonne gave your hand a squeeze before practically corralling Judith and Dog towards the front gates in order to give you and Daryl some privacy.

Rubbing the back of his neck anxiously, Daryl averted his gaze to the ground. “I’m-uh-sorry ‘bout earlier…I shouldn’t of left like that.”

“Oh…” Your eyebrows shot upwards in surprise, not expecting that sentiment to come out of his mouth. “It’s ok…I actually kinda needed to be alone for a little while.” You confessed rather sheepishly as you uncomfortably shifted the backpack on your arm. 

“I hope Dog didn’t cause ya any trouble. He can be a handful sometimes.” The archer was now shoving his hands in his pockets, in fear that they would start to shake at any moment due to the anxiety that was beginning to course through his veins. 

“He’s great, really,” A smile formed on your face as your eyes briefly drifted towards the front gates, where you could see Dog betowing affection on Judith. “I can see why you’ve kept him around.”

Daryl could only hum in acknowledgement as his teeth dug into his bottom lip. For a few moments, awkward silence fell over you two as you both struggled to find the right words to say. Swallowing the dry lump that was beginning to form in your throat, you wet your lips and opened your mouth to speak. There was no easy way to begin the conversation, so you figured the only way to start it was by being blunt. 

“I appreciate everything you told me today…I still have a lot to process and figure out.” You found yourself inhaling sharply through your nose as you struggled to put your delicate thoughts and feelings into words. “You hurt me so much, Daryl. I-I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to want to work things out.”

Salty tears stung at the corners of Daryl’s eyes as he nodded at your words. He knew it was coming, and had been anticipating them since there was no other response he expected you to say. Daryl supposed he was becoming more upset with himself, than at you, for what you were telling him. 

“I get it…I don’t blame ya for not wantin’ me in your life anymore. You're better off.” Daryl’s sadden gaze fell to his boots as he uncomfortably shifted the crossbow that was draped behind his back with a shrug of his shoulders. It suddenly felt like the crossbow was becoming too heavy for him to carry.

“No, no…I-” You shook your head dismissively as emotion swelled up your chest and seeped in your voice. “I don't know what I want, but I can’t imagine you not in my life. I still care about you, Daryl.”

When your admission reached his ears, Daryl found himself bringing his wide eyed gaze back up towards your face. For a moment, Daryl was ready to utter endless sentences filled with all of the devotions he felt for you, but realized how overwhelming and off putting that would be for you to hear at the moment. So instead, he instinctively took one step towards you. Wetting his dry lips, Daryl opened his mouth to respond.

“You don't gotta decide, hell, you don’t ever gotta decide. I just…I just want a chance to make things up to ya, make it right.” 

You bit down on your bottom lip nervously as you silently pondered over his declaration. “I can’t promise that things will ever go back to how they were…romantically.”

“I know. I just want you to let me try.”

All you could manage was to nod your head in agreement as an overwhelmed haze overcame your brain. You could feel fresh tears pool in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall onto your cheeks. You had cried enough tears for a lifetime, and quite frankly, you didn’t have the energy to deal with them tonight. The backpack hanging off your arm became unbearably uncomfortable as your arms began to weaken due to the emotional turmoil your body was going through. You couldn’t bring yourself to look Daryl in the eyes when you handed the backpack to him.

“There’s some supplies in there for you and everyone else for the trip to the Kingdom…” A heavy silence filled the still night air as you struggled to stay put; you couldn’t stop shifting your weight from one foot to the other in unease. 

“What?” That was the only thing Daryl could utter out of his mouth as he stood frozen in front of you, his wide eyes staring at the backpack you were holding out to him as if it was a foreign object he had never seen before. 

“Like I said before, packing you a bag is kinda an instinct at this point. It still is” 

Swallowing hard and unable to mask the gawk in his face, Daryl took the backpack from you. “I-uh-” Pausing, Daryl took a few moments to compose himself so he didn’t continue to choke on his words. “I didn’t expect that bag to have supplies in it.” Daryl admitted sheepishly, since moments ago he was convinced you were about to hand over the few remaining possessions he had.

“What else would I put in the bag?” Your head tilted to the side curiously as the two of you began to walk towards the front gates where the rest of the group were at. 

Shrugging his shoulders loosely, Daryl gripped onto the strap of his crossbow that was draped across his chest. “I don’t know what ya did to my stuff that's still at the house…shit, maybe ya burned it, but I thought you were gonna hand me my shit back and tell me to fuck off.”

You couldn’t stop the laugh from bursting out of your mouth, hands instantly raising to your face to muffle the noise. Daryl wished you let yourself laugh for a little longer, as the sound was like music to his ears. It felt like a lifetime ago since he last heard it.

“The thought did cross my mind once or twice, but I don’t think I could ever do something like that.” You shook your head as a genuine smile stretched your lips. 

“Only once or twice?” The archer mused as a lopsided smile formed on his face. His heart felt like it was swelling one size too big to fit in his chest at the sight of your smile.

God he missed you.

“Okay, fine, definitely more times than that.” You admitted truthfully as a sly glint sparkled in your eyes under the moonlight. 

You both strode in silence for the remaining distance to the front gate. Once you arrived, Dog was instantly at your feet, demanding pets by nudging your hands with his wet nose. Grinning, you bent down to say your goodbyes to the loyal canine.

“Hey…” The sound of Daryl’s soft voice took your attention off of Dog. After placing a kiss on the top of Dog’s head, you stood up to your full height once again. “I’ll-uhm-I’ll see you soon, okay?” A nervous quiver was barely noticeable in his voice, but you knew Daryl well enough to be able to detect it. 

“Okay. See you soon.” You could only offer Daryl a small smile and a wave of your hand as you watched him leave.

As he stepped out of the gates of Alexandria, Daryl swore to himself that he would do anything it took to do right by you and prove himself worthy again. He didn’t care if it took days, weeks, months, years, or even up until the day he died. Daryl knew there was little to no chance that you would ever see him as a romantic partner again, but the archer wouldn’t stop trying to prove to you otherwise, and show you how much he still loved and cared for you.

-

-

A/N: So, what do you guys think? I know I left it a bit ambiguous, again, but I think it’s up to you to decide if Reader eventually forgives Daryl and is able to reconnect with him. Also, I changed Dog’s origins a bit in this fic, considering I established that Daryl’s fling with Leah was only a one time thing. Anyways, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!!

Part 3

[chvnssecret]

Boundaries

warnings - perv!jisung - sub!jisung - fem!reader - handjob - masturbation - cock warming - cock riding - orgasm control - thigh riding - slight degrading - this is not how i perceive the members and it’s not how you should either. if you are under the age of 18, i suggest you click off now.

**

It all started when you were twelve. Your parents became friends quickly due to them moving in next door. The two of you became inseparable almost instantly. Even your parents could barely tear you apart.

Nothing changed throughout school. Everyone knew you two to be like brother and sister. Not once did it occur to you that you looked like boyfriend and girlfriend.

Without you knowing, his feelings changed when you both turned eighteen. He never spoke up about it out of fear of rejection.

Of course, you found him hot, but you never thought he’d look at you that way.

His thoughts became too much. He found himself looking into your windows at late hours of the evening. The way your naked silhouette pranced around your room after a shower made him put his hands in his pants. It always took him a while to cum, purely for the fact he was nervous of being caught.

Then, his obsession grew even further. When he knew you’d be at work, he’d let himself in with the spare key and raid your basket for dirty underwear. He would take them home and jack himself off again, but this time, it would be into your panties.

It was the smell he loved. So pure and clean as always, but that’s what he loved. He always wondered if you noticed your panties gradually going missing; but he was relieved when you never quite mentioned it.

His favourite place to store them was under his pillow. Before he slept, and as soon as he woke up, he would sniff them. He swore it would give him luck for the day.

Even a few years later on, he still hadn’t washed them.

He was particularly excited this evening. You were planning on going to his house for the first time in months and he couldn’t wait to spend time with you.

Rushing around to tidy up, he knocked over a vase of flowers in the process. Anxiety and tensions were high because he just wanted to impress you. The door knocked amongst all the chaos and he felt relaxed as soon as you stepped in.

“Why are you so out of breath?” You laughed as you stepped foot into his front door.

“I just had to quickly clean up.” He scratched the back of his neck and guided you upstairs. “Wow, it really hasn’t changed at all.” You giggled as you eyed up the interior. “I know, it just doesn’t feel right to change it.” His voice seemed shaky and nervous as if he was trying to impress a date.

“Am I good to take a shower? I didn’t really have time after work.” You huffed out in annoyance and placed your duffel bag onto the bed. “Of course, you don’t even have to ask!” He shoved you playfully and you rolled your eyes at him. “Okay. I won’t be long!” You pulled a fresh pair of underwear from your bag and some shorts with a hoodie to sleep in. His eyes immediately fell onto the underwear, growing hard in his pants at the thought of you in them.

His shower doors were glass and almost see through and the doorway looked straight out onto his bedroom. As soon as the door closed, he cleared his throat slightly. All he could think about was the water droplets running down your tits, making the hairs stand up on your arms and legs.

Immediately covering his bulge, he realised what was happening. Surely you won’t find out if he just peeked his head in, right? His steps were quiet, almost like a mouse as he creeped towards the bathroom door.

It creaked a little, making him cringe as he saw your naked silhouette in the reflection. You scrubbed your body with the coconut and vanilla body wash and tilted your head back for better access. He was basically drooling at the sight that he didn’t even realise how long he was standing there for.

By now, you had turned the water off and noticed a dark shadow on the other side of the glass. “Ji?” You called out the nickname you gave him when you were thirteen. His heart dropped. “Yeah, I was just getting something. I didn’t look!” His cheeks turned bright red and you smirked behind the screen. He must be stupid to think you haven’t realised he hots he had for you. You wondered what would happen if you joked around and took it further…

Stepping out the shower, you left the towel wrapped around you and headed for his room. You saw his gaze fall onto you instantly. In your head, you were curious as to how he’d act if you put it upon him. “Were you perving on me, Ji?” His head whipped up at your words, contorting his eyebrows and shaking his head violently. “Of course no-why would I do that?” He stuttered. “Why else would you be snooping in the bathroom whilst I showered?” You plonked yourself down on the bed next to him, gripping the towel around you for dear life. “I told you, I was looking for something.” You nodded at his response, not believing a word of it.

You picked up the pillow beneath you and tucked it behind your back. His eyes widened when he saw two pairs of your underwear become visible beneath you. Curiously, you looked. “Are these mine?” You didn’t take your eyes off them. Quite frankly, you were in disbelief. For you were so convinced that he didn’t actually have a thing for you, you just merely wanted to believe it for yourself.

“I-I can explain.” His words fizzled out as he realised you weren’t going to believe anything he said. He watched as you slowly lifted your head, gazing at him with the two pairs of panties in your hands. “Why are they under your pillow? Did you fuck them? Sniff them every night? Why didn’t you just fucking ask for me!” You let out all in one breath. He didn’t know what to say, simply staring at you, wide eyed and mouth ajar.

“I didn’t think that-I never expected you to.” He fumbled over his words again. “Do you realise how long I’ve wanted to fuck you for?” You blurted out. “No, why don’t you show me?” His voice was small and hoarse, but you could tell he felt nervous.

Dropping the knickers onto the floor, you leaned over to him and attached your lips. It was the longing feeling you were so desperate for this whole time. The way it just felt right to be kissing your childhood best friend right now.

The two of you began breathing heavier, lips dancing against each other’s like they were meant to. You climbed upon his grey jogger clad leg and attached your pussy to his thigh. It could’ve been from the shower, or it could’ve been from the wetness growing between your thighs, either way, his leg was now soaked.

Your hips started to move rhythmically against his clothed thigh, moaning at the feel of it rubbing against your sensitive clit. His hands grabbed everywhere, your ass, thighs and sides as if he was waiting for it too. Not once did the kiss break; both so simply infatuated with each other to care. “Fuck, Ji. I want you so fucking bad.” He flexed his leg on your pussy which only made you come close to your climax quicker. A pit of heat formed in your stomach as you rocked back and forth on his leg, finally riding out your high. Clenching around him, he sat up slightly and suckled on your neck as you orgasmed on him.

“You dirty fucking pervert, lay down.” You pushed him by his chest and he obliged almost straight away. “You think you can get away with perving on me? See if you can handle the real thing.” You yanked his joggers down, his boxers flying down with them. He was hard, precum pissing out of his tip and was practically begging for it with his doe eyes. Still straddling him, you took his length in your hand and pumped him slowly. The precum oozed onto the back of your hand as you pulled his foreskin down. “Please. Please let me cum.” He whimpered, making you scoff. “You can, later.” Pulling his face in to kiss you, your speed of the handjob didn’t alter. He rocked his hips up to try and fuck your hand, but you put more pressure on his hips so he couldn’t move.

His cock started to pulsate like it had its own heartbeat. You pulled off quickly to stop him from reaching his high. “What?” His gutted expression made you laugh, until it lit up at the sight of you pulling your shorts off. “I-I get to fuck you?” He questioned, pointing to your now naked waist.

“No, baby. I get to fuck you.” With emphasis, you climbed on top of him again. Pulling his dick up in line with your pussy, you lowered yourself onto it slowly. He was bigger than you thought as you winced at the tip entering. Once it slid all the way in, you laid there, chest flat on his and kissed his neck. “What are you doing? Aren’t you going to fuck me?” He was all out of breath from the singular motion of you sliding down on his cock. “I am, just whenever I want to.” You teased, biting his sweet spot and making him whimper.

“I can’t take much more.” He cried out as his throbbing cock resting inside you. Pushing yourself up on his chest, you started to roll your hips on him. You supported yourself with your hands on his torso as you rode his cock at a steady pace. “Jesus fucking Christ, Hannie. You’re so big.” Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his tip hit your g spot with every roll of your body.

“You’re so tight.” He hissed and tried thrusting into you from below, but you stopped him.

You decided that in order to make him cum quicker, you’d have to bounce. That you did, legs starting to burn from the sensation. The sounds of your thighs slapping together and his deep, croaky moans filled the room. Anyone within a mile radius would be able to hear you both from the shameless growls he was giving.

Your pussy dripped with cum every time you lifted off his dick and it created a tiny pool on the bed sheets. “You gonna cum in me, perv boy?” He mewled at the new nickname, nodding his head vigorously. Your thighs felt like they were on fire towards the end, simply leaning your whole body forward and putting all your strength into bouncing your ass on him.

“I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum inside me then, Ji.” Your voice was more sincere this time. You could forgive him for what he done, you just wanted him to pay.

His cock twitched inside of you, filling you up with his warm juices as he thrusted up into you to ride out his high.

“Fuck. That was exactly how I imagined.” He ran his hands over his face and exhaled loudly.

“You’ll think again before being a fucking weirdo, yeah?” You climbed off him with a smirk.

[punk4ndisorderly]

light on

The one where Y/N is the daughter of a legendary Team USA coach and used to attend the development program with the boys. 8 years after they last saw each other in person, a reunion brings Jack and Y/N back into each other’s lives... and hearts.

if you keep the light on, i'll keep the light on

XIV XV - i do, i do, i do, i do, i do XVI

The grey curtains that kept the room dark after dawn were pulled back abruptly, revealing two sleeping bodies. The tiny woman had her back pressed to the much larger man’s chest, not even an inch of space separating them. His hand rested on the outline of her hips, over the covers.

“You need to get up. Now!” Cole pleaded, turning his back to the groggy pair and leaving, running down the hall knocking on Quinn and Alex’s room door.

Y/N practically jumped out of the bed, the lack of the warmth her body had provided giving Jack the encouragement he needed to push himself out of it as well, following her to their friends’ weekend accommodation.

“What’s going on?” the foctor asked, crossing her arms over her exposed chest as Cole pulled Quinn out of bed.

“River went rogue.”

“What?!” the foursome half-shouted, now completely awake and shocked.

“I slept with him downstairs because he wanted to follow tradition and Trevor stayed with David and Leo. When I woke up, he was gone. I’ve looked for him everywhere.” he explained, every bone in his body trembling with anxiety.

“If River doesn’t want to be found, he won’t be found.” Alex stated, yawning and stretching. “It’s useless to look for him.”

Y/N stared at them, still processing what was happening. River must’ve been really freaking out if he had fled the location on his wedding day. Something wasn’t adding up.

“Alright, here’s what we’re going to do: you…” she pointed to Alex. “Shut up. Jack, would you mind closing the doors David doesn’t find out his fiancé is MIA.”

The Devils' player obliged to her request, waiting for her to disclose the plan to recover the missing groom.

“We’re checking every room in this house. Cole, I know you did that already, but maybe he came back in the meantime. Then, we search for the Runaway Groom in our surroundings. Our last resort will be taking the cars and drive around the community.” Y/N instructed, certain her plan was bulletproof. “I think my brother didn’t go far.”

The five friends split, checking each division at the cabin before heading outside. An hour later, there was still no sign of River, which made them freak out even more.

“Oh god, what are we going to tell David?” Alex cried, running his hands through his hair.

“Turc, it’s going to be okay. You guys will get the cars and I’ll stay here doing damage control. They’re not up yet. Trevor could probably sleep through the end of the world, Leo was exhausted and David was sprawled all over the spare mattress the last time I checked.”

“Okay, so you just tell them we all went to look for Ginger because she ran away. We’ll take her with us, she’ll be our alibi. It’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this whole mess.”

Jack listened intently to Y/N, who was attempting to keep everyone calm in the middle of a crisis. She always found a way to make things better, even when she was only making use of her words to do so.

He liked her but, above that, he respected and admired her strength and grace. Never had he met a woman that could quite compare to Y/N. His Y/N.

“The hair and makeup team will be here at noon. It’s currently a few minutes past eight. We need to get him here by eleven thirty, tops.”

“Got it. We’ll get Ginger.” Quinn offered, picking up his car keys and sunglasses.

“Aw, why do we have to get the dog?” Alex wailed, walking right behind him, dragging his feet.

Cole hid his face in his hands, muttering something under his breath before perking up and putting on a smile.

“Do you think this will fool them?” he asked, trying his best not to look stressed out.

Y/N pressed her lips into a tight line, a sympathetic look on her bare face.

“It’ll have to do. Jack and I will keep you updated, don’t worry.” the doctor assured her friend, holding him by the shoulders. “This wedding is happening.”

Cole simply nodded, wanting to believe her words more than everything, prompting the pair to begin their search.

Y/N put her sneakers on, throwing the man right behind her his car keys.

As they drove down the dirt road, the hockey player saw how worry was etched on her angelic features, taking his right hand from the steering wheel and squeezing hers.

“How much do you want to bet someday we’ll be laughing about this whole mess?” he said, earning a half-smile from his partner. “Hey, it’s just like you said: it’ll all be okay. River is probably just winding down somewhere and…”

The brunette man stopped himself mid-sentence, his face lighting up in realization. Y/N turned to him, her eyebrow raising, as if to ask him to voice the thoughts that were going through his head.

“I think I know where he might be.”

Pulling up to a quaint waffle house, Jack squinted, trying to locate the missing bride inside. He spotted him easily, sat in a booth, surrounded by empty plates and having yet another one set in front of him.

“Oh my god, there he is!” the doctor gasped. “I need to call Cole.” she added. “How did you know where he'd be?”

“There’s two things you need to always keep in mind when we’re talking about your brother: he has had the words to The Piña Colada Song stuck in his head ever since he first heard it and, when he needs to think, he finds the nearest place that serves sugary breakfast food and eats until he figures out what he's going to do… Or, you know, until be's stuffed.” he explained. “I lived with him for a while when I accidentally flooded my apartment, remember?” the Devils' player chuckled.

“Yeah, but that was like straight out of high school, I wasn’t expecting you to remember these kinds of details.”

“I never forget the tiny things about the people in my life. I still know the name of the perfume my first girlfriend used to wear.”

“You’re a rare finding, Hughes.” Y/N smiled, marveling in how endearing his personality was. “Alright, I’m getting our Julia Roberts. If he makes a run for it, tackle him. Not too hard though, he can’t be bruised or toothless on his wedding day.” she warned, swinging the door open.

“No, let me.” he requested.

“Are you sure?” Y/N checked, wondering how he was planning to deal with the situation.

“Yes. If I screw up, you’ll have to be the one to tackle him, though.” Jack joked, climbing out of the car.

 *

River saw him the minute he walked in, taking another forkful of the insane amount of waffles he'd ordered into his mouth, giving his friend a thumbs up.

“Old habits die hard.” he grinned, sitting in front of him and grabbing the fork from his hands, stealing a portion of the chocolate covered delight he had yet to finish devouring.

“Seems like it, you still think I’m willing to share my food.” the designer smirked, snatching his fork back. “What are you doing here, doofus?”

Jack took a deep breath, fidgeting with his fingers and avoiding eye contact with the groom.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking long and hard about this and…. I think we should be together.”

The eldest Y/L/N got up immediately, reaching over the table to pinch his biceps the hardest he could repeatedly.

“What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. You?” River growled in between pinches.

“Ow! Ow! Jesus, stop!” he begged, the groom's assault leaving small red marks on his skin.

“I’m getting married today to a man I love unconditionally, I’m not going to leave him to be with you! Are you insane? This is exactly why you should never invite men to your wedding, or anywhere really, you never know when they strike with shit like this!” the designer rambled, fuming. “Unbelievable! You’re one of my oldest friends! Did you hit your head? Jack Rowden Hughes, you fucking dumbass!”

“Calm down, I was only joking!” Jack protested, rubbing his sore arms. “I just wanted to make sure you were still going through with it. Damn, you sure are stronger than you look.” he laughed.

“This is not funny, Jack! What gave you the idea it wasn’t happening and why in the world are you in pajamas in public?”

“Didn’t really have time to change. You left while everyone else was asleep, didn’t tell a living soul where you were going and you’re sitting here eating a ridiculous amount of food by yourself, only a few hours away from one of the most important events of your life.”

His friend stopped chewing, coming to his senses. It did sound like he had cold feet.

“My mother told me she spent her entire wedding reception going around talking to the guests and barely got anything to eat so I just figured I’d get as much food in my stomach as I could while I had the opportunity.” he confided, drinking the rest of his coffee. “Plus, Cole is like a human furnace, I couldn’t take spending another hour lying in bed with him using me as a body pillow.”

Jack let out a hearty laugh, imagining River trying to sneak out without waking up their friend. He smiled in response, signaling the waitress to bring him the check.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” the hockey player asked, reaching for the bill, taking his wallet out to pay.

“I know you remembered my stress eating habits.” he replied. “You’re a really good guy, Jack Hughes. Never forget that.”

He looked up at him, returning his sincere grin and placing money on the table.

“Thanks, Riv.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome. If you tell anyone I will deny it.” River joked. “Oh, and I am paying for my food, thank you very much.”

“Nonsense. I kind of forgot your wedding present at home so… I guess the heavy breakfast will have to do for now.”

“You don’t…” he began to protest.

“I know, but it’s my treat. Now, let’s get out of here. Brace yourself for a magnificent set of lectures from two very stressed people. Possibly three. Quinn's not happy with having been awoken by a frantic Cole.”

*

 The minute they arrived back at the cabin, Cole grabbed River, almost choking him in a tight embrace, doing his best to keep her voice down so he wouldn’t catch the attention of the three men who were kept in the dark about the whole situation.

Ushering the groom inside, the blond man made it his mission to guard him.

“I made breakfast, it’s on the table. Hurry up, people, we’ve got a wedding to get ready for.” he yelled from upstairs, closing the master bedroom’s door behind him.

Jack sat Y/N Alina at the table, where David, Teevor and Leo had been eating for about ten minutes before they all walked in. The duo immediately treated themselves to the French toasts Cole had made, their stomachs growling with hunger.

“Did you find Ginger?” the groom asked, genuinely worried.

The pair glanced at each other, trying to decide what to say.

“Mmm… Yeah, Quinny and Turc found her.” the doctor said, clearing her throat.

As if on cue, the two friends made their grand entrance, with Quinn holding the pup in his arms.

“Did somebody call for the dog whisperers?” the curly-haired man crowed.

“I thought we agreed that sounded corny.” Quinn said through gritted teeth.

“Can I go pet Ginger now, uncle David?” Leo requested, still chewing his food.

“Take your plate to the kitchen first.”

“Thanks!” the little boy chirped, speeding up to the kitchen and quickly making his way back, taking the docile dog from Quinn. “She’s the best!”

“I want you to be upstairs for your shower in ten. Your mom and dad will be here in no time.” David warned, giving his nephew his pretend stern look.

“I know, I know.”

“Well, I should head up. I’m supposed to help River with the outfit and the stress.” Y/N chuckled, getting up and picking her plate up as the dog catchers relished in the deliciousness of the homemade breakfast. “Wait, the dishes still need to be done.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve got plenty of time to do that.” David assured her, taking the piece of porcelain from her hands. “Go see my man.” he smiled.

“Alright, I’m off. Keep in mind once I step foot in that room I’m no longer your friend, I’m the maid of honor and I will act accordingly.” the coach's daughter joked, squeezing Jack's shoulder lightly.

The Devils' player resisted the sudden urge to cover her hand with his, not wanting her to leave but knowing full well she had to. After all, she had been entrusted with one of the most important tasks at a wedding: groom duty. Who was going to hold the bouquet? Y/N. Who was going to make polite conversation with family members to help the newlyweds escape them so they could mingle with other guests? Y/N. He knew how crucial the beautiful woman’s part was on her brother’s special day, so he couldn’t silently beg her to stay and talk until it was time. If only.

*
The clock struck a quarter to four. Cars continuously arrived at the cabin, some having to park along the dirt road that had led them there. Chatty guests started filling up the seats reserved for them in the multi-tiered wooden amphitheater nestled in pine trees, overlooking the lake.

It amazed Jack how breathtaking the venue was. Weddings weren’t normally his thing. Crowded, potentially award events always made him uneasy. Except for this one. The Devils' player wasn’t thinking about an excuse to cut his stay short after the ceremony, not this time. At that precise moment, as he stood in the aisle, his hands buried in his pockets, he was wondering what the beautiful woman he had known for a decade was doing. Probably containing a scary version of the usually calm and collected River Y/L/N, he thought to himself, chuckling.

“I think you can only walk around with your bow tie undone during the reception. Wedding etiquette.” Y/N spoke from behind him, as if she had magically read his mind and decided to grace him with her presence.

Turning around, much like the eager groom as his bride arrives at the altar, Jack felt the wind being knocked out of him.

In a beige, gold-tone and multicolor silk blend fill loose coupé floral dress with a deep V-neck, sporting her hair in a cascading half updo that perfectly framed her face, Y/N Y/L/N smirked up at her friend, oblivious to the way the brunette man’s chin had almost dropped to the ground.

The short, sleeveless design, featuring a drawstring waist with a hanging tassel and pleated details, was nothing short of astonishing. Accentuating her natural curves and glowing skin, it seemed like it had been made specifically and exclusively for the doctor to wear. Now the image of that magnificent woman in that dress, under the afternoon sunlight that bathed the clearing where they currently stood, was permanently engraved into his brain.

“How do I look?” she inquired, goofily spinning around. “If I were at home getting ready for a party or something, Joey would be begging me to do the princess twirl.”

“You look… Hmmm…” he stuttered, struggling to find words that wouldn’t completely give him out as the dumbfounded mess he was.

“River demanded I’d wear something that would make me look ethereal, which I find to be totally subjective. Heaven doesn’t look the same to everyone, right?” I am totally rambling right now, but - ”

“You look mesmerizing, Y/N.”

The four words slipped off his tongue easily and they were both surprised at the smooth tone of his voice, exponentially steadier than it usually was around her. He couldn’t have said truer words even if he had tried.

Blushing slightly, the petite woman looked away, giving him a peek of the diamond rose gold asymmetric ear cuff she wore on her right ear. The sweeping wing motif evoked an enigmatic blend of fantastical creatures and angels, which only seemed appropriate for the occasion and the landscape surrounding them.

“What’s up with the bow, though?”

“I can’t tie it.” Jack admitted, his shoulders slumping down in shame.

The doctor shook her head, reaching up to grab both ends of his ow tie and starting to fumble around with the piece of fabric.

“How’s the groom?”

“I think my mom and dad might be freaking out more than he is. It’s funny, actually, I-”

“Y/N Y/L/N, where were you? You should be placing the baggies with the rose petals under the chairs! You know the wedding planner completely forgot about them.” Cole reprimanded, holding a basket full of what seemed to be small golden antique satin pouches in his arms.

“Don’t people usually throw rice or something?” a very confused Jack asked, knitting his eyebrows together.

“Not anymore. Apparently, it’s bad for the birds, so I guess we’re just going to have to make it through with the rose petals.” Y/N mocked, teasing Cole.

“There’s no time to joke around, young lady. And what the hell are you doing to the poor man’s bow tie?”

Jack merely looked down, seeing how Y/N had been merely trying to do the bunny ear trick to get the fabric in place. Their friend handed the basked full of bags to the doctor, fixing the mess she had made and signaling for her to follow him once he was done.

“I thought you knew what you were doing?” he shouted as she walked away.

“I never said I did.” Y/N shrugged, winking at him. “Buckle up, Hughes, we’re getting this show on the road.”

*

 “Please be seated. Yes, I am talking to you two youngsters in the second row. Come on.” the officiant, Mr. Brennan, scolded jokingly, waiting for the dynamic duo to stop arguing over who got to sit next to who so he could begin the ceremony. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God, surrounded by family and friends, to join together River and David in holy matrimony.”

Jack stared down at his knuckles, remembering the years he had spent seeing a band much like the one he had seen Sean, the groom’s brother, store in his pocket a few minutes before, in Y/N's hand, in pictures he saw on social media or at their friends’ homes.

“If anyone can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, speak now or forever hold your peace.” the septuagenarian declared, looking around to make sure no one spoke or got up before he continued. “Very well, we’ll proceed with the ceremony then.”

Daring to catch a glimpse of the most beautiful maid of honor he had ever seen, the brunette man licked his lips as his eyes locked with Y/N's, managing to steal a cheeky smile from her.

“Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller; memories are fresher; commitment is stronger. Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new experiences and new experiences and new ways of expressing love through the seasons of life. In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul wrote: love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth; love bears all things, endures all things; love never ends.”

Y/N took in the priest’s words. Love never ends, but it suffers somewhat of a metamorphosis. We never stop loving someone, the love we feel just fits into another category. It turns into a different kind of affection. She’d somehow have feelings for Charlie, but she wasn’t in love with him anymore. She hadn’t been in many years. That was the difference. The doctor gazed at the wonderful scenery around her: it was perfect, something she could only assume had come out of one of Joey's fairytale books.

“Your relationship will take more than love. It will take trust, dedication, to stay open to one another, to learn and grow, even when it’s difficult to do so. And faith, to go forward together without knowing what the future holds for you. While love is our natural state of being, these other qualities are not as easy to come by. They are not a destination, but a journey. Marriage is a give and take between two personalities. You are mature enough to know the difference between dreams and reality. You also know that good times are sweeter when shared and that difficult times are less harsh when borne by two. Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys, but today is the day it all begins.” the officiant proclaimed, motioning for the couple to join hands.

Her warm eyes laid on the man that, in just a matter of weeks, had come back into her life and filled it with excitement, fun and, most of all, joy. The doctor knew something had changed between them but thinking about navigating through feelings she hadn’t experienced intensely in a long time scared her to death. Letting someone in scared her to death.

“These are the hands that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever. These are the hands that will countless times wipe tears from your eyes, tears of joy and sorrow. These are the hands that will help hold your family together as one as you overcome adversity. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. These are the hands that will work alongside yours as together you build your future.”

Jack remembered the times his hands had held Y/N's, the way hers fit into his as if they were simply the last two pieces of a puzzle he had been waiting all his life to assemble. The Devil's noticed how her hands were shaking slightly as she held on to the bouquet.

“David and River, from this moment on, you will never be alone. You will carry with you the love of another person, giving you a renewed lightness. May your life together be immersed in love and excitement. May you strive to enrich each other in every possible way.”

“Yes! Go River and David!” Trevor hooted, pumping his fist up in the air.

Quinn immediately smacked his friend in the back of the head, placing a finger over his lips to get him to shut up.

“Thank you, young man. These two are very lucky to have you cheering them on.” Mr. Brennan chuckled, along with the couple and the rest of the guests. “With that being said… David, do you take River Y/L/N as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse; for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

“I do.” the groom replied, surely, as a nervous grin grew on his handsome face.

“And do you, Rover, take David Sawyer as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse; for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

“I do. I do. I really do.” the eldest Y/L/N stuttered, radiating happiness with a smile so big you could almost see the teeth in the back of his mouth.

Y/N let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding, taking her hand to her chest as she internally cheered for the couple while Jack gave her a thumbs up from his seat.

“Now, I understand the grooms have a few words to say to each other.” the septuagenarian divulged, turning to face River. “Go ahead, kid.”

Everyone’s eyes were fixated on the groom once again, but his bore into David’s, wanting him to know she meant every word she was about to say.

“We met at a time in my life where I had pretty much given up on the idea of finding you. You, a kind, smart, extremely funny man, who loves me endlessly. David, you took a man circumstance had turned into a skeptic and made him believe he could fall in love again without having to worry about the possibility of having his heart broken. You took the shattered pieces scattered over my chest and put them together with so much patience and love… I could never thank you enough for that. But I can try… And I will, for the rest of our lives.”

David drew a shaky breath, trying to keep the tears in his eyes from falling. Not because he was ashamed of crying, but because he still had his vows to proclaim and he knew once the first few droplets fell, he wouldn’t be able to speak.

“River…” he croaked, clearing his throat after as the blushing groom reached up and wiped the sneaky tear that had escaped his right eye. “Thank you for loving me when I’m happy, when I’m sad, when I’m annoyed and when I’m obnoxious, when I can’t stop talking about things I like and things I can’t stand. Standing here with you today, in the presence of our closest friends and family, I do not regret any of the time we spent together, not even the dumbest fights or that week we decided to break up a few years ago. In the end, we always ended up clinging onto each other, saying we’re sorry. No matter what, we always bounced back. Together. It was all worth it. The good, the bad and the ugly. We’re here. We made it, baby. I solemnly swear to never question your very questionable eating habits, or the reasons why you know the lyrics to every cringy song in the books. I vow to cherish and appreciate you as long as you’ll have me… And long after that because I love you more than words can say. Believe me when I say I do.”

“Beautiful, beautiful words.” the officiant noted. “Now… The rings.”

Sean pulled out a small black velvet box from his blazer’s inner pocket and Y/N looked at her thumb, where the ring that she had been entrusted with rested.

David’s brother handed him the open box, letting him take the stunning wedding band from it.

“Repeat after me as you place the ring on your groom's finger: with this ring, I thee wed.”

“With this ring, I thee wed.” David almost whispered, reluctantly letting go of his soon-to-be-husband's hand for her to get his matching gold band.

“River…” Mr. Brennan motioned to the designer with an encouraging smile.

The doctor took the band from her thumb and quickly gave it to her brother, grinning like a happy fool, letting out a tiny squeal only Jack seemed to hear, as he covered his face with his hands to stifle a laugh.

“With this ring, I thee wed.” River said in a sing-song voice, eager to hear the officiant's concluding words.

“By the power invested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss the groom!”

David stumbled back as his groom flung herself into his arms, kissing him passionately, while everyone around them cheered, clapping enthusiastically. You could feel the love that irradiated from the married couple and that brought happiness to their friends and family.

The maid of honor hurried to straighten up River's jacket he walked down the aisle with his husband, white rose petals falling over and around her beautiful figure. She looked… What was the word? Ethereal. Y/N was a fallen angel. Jack's heart sped up its pace when she looked his way and smiled, for the millionth time that day, scrunching up her nose the way only she knew how to.

He couldn’t keep it in anymore. He was undeniably infatuated with a woman he often held up on a pedestal. He had to say something.

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.

[beea-idiot56]

Chapter 4 - I thought this was supposed to be practice!

What happens when a person who has been diagnosed with extreme anxiety and had "retired" from volleyball finds themselves coaching a team full of guys who are a little too loud for their comfort(especially the ginger)?

Slow burn? ✔️ smut?❌ they/them pronouns?✔️ forced?❌

Childe x Reader Volleyball AU Wattpad Link Prologue link(Tumblr)

It had not been long since Y/N had started  practicing with the team, a month at most. With about 15 practices under their belt they felt well accustomed to the team. Sure they were not buddies with any of them, but they were able to joke and speak without their heart rate spiking and their hands starting to shake. It was a nice addition to their schedule as well. Between coaching young players, this team, and college, they didn't have any time to focus on their anxiety, it was actually really nice to get out of the house too. Plus they'd never know when Childe would suddenly invite the entire team to a “feeding frenzy”, it was just Childe paying for a bunch of snacks and all of the team would get together and play some sand volleyball or watch movies. It was a really nice addition to their schedule, and it was fun to hang out with people that werent teachers or someone complaining about homework. 

Y/n had been asleep, dreaming of nothing in particular, the much needed rest recharging their body and filling them with strength. That was until they heard a loud ringtone from beside them, a grumble escaping their lips as they lifted their head from their pillow just enough to open their eyes barely. Their hand found its way to the phone on the bedside table in the small dorm they stayed in, they lifted the side of the phone to see the contact “Barbatos - Venti - VB” with the photo of venti plastered on top. They grumbled and clicked the “answer” button, bringing the phone to their ear. 

“...h-hello?” they mumbled, their voice not awake just yet. Their eyes traveled to their clock beside their bed, 5am. Venti woke y/n up. At 5am. This man better have a damned good reason for it too. 

“Ah Y/n! Sorry if I woke you but there's some urgent business to attend to!” Venti spoke, how was he so awake and happy at 5am? This man must be made of sunshine and rainbows, “you see, last night I got an email from the Tsaritsa. Apparently she would like her team, the Harbingers, and our team to have a practice game against each other. Something about preparing for tournaments and not wanting her team to disappoint her. I don’t know, but what I do know is that I accepted it and well, I need my co-coach to come help me coach dear Kaeya!”

Y/n listened, their eyes slowly opening as their brain struggled to process what nonsense Venti had just spewed through his mouth at the speed of light. Y/n took a few moments to think before speaking, “what time?”  “oh… ah hee hee…. 8am.”  “A. hee. Hee.” Y/n repeated, taking a second before each syllable. They felt anger run through their veins. Venti contacted them about coaching a game that's in THREE HOURS. Y/n silently prayed to archons to give them the strength not to bitch slap venti. They heard nervous laughter on the other side of the line, “I'll be there, but you're praying for my coffee”

“Deal! Just send me your order '' Venti spoke before hanging up the phone. Y/n sighed and sat up in bed. Their dog at their feet(cat if you're allergic and a fish on the bed stand if you're allergic to both 😭) looked up at them. “A/N, help me.” y/n mumbled and the animal simply looked up at them before turning away to go back to sleep. 

Y/n pushed open the door to the building that the team played and practiced at. The sounds of shoes squeaking and yelling greeted them in an empty hallway. The lights were still off and the sun was barely over the horizon in the long glass windows that lined the hallway. Usually this place would be packed with people, but it was a Sunday and most kids were hungover at their dorms or off at work, maybe even a church of some kind. Mondstat was always big on its churches, The Grand Cathedral being right down the street from the college as well. Y/n tended to stay away from them, even if they were religious, there were a lot of people in the cathedral at all times. And that always felt really awkward and spiked their heart rate. 

Y/n appreciated the quietness of the hallway, they stopped outside the gym doors, the glass square in them giving them a preview as to what they were about to enter. The team peppered between each other while Venti sat and planned out something on a sheet of paper, what Y/n assumed was a lineup and game plan for the practice game. They glanced to the side of them to look out the window, they watched as birds sung from high above on the wires that lined the sky line. They smiled a little bit at it before looking back, their eyes catching the sight of someone standing off by the net. He stared back, the two caught eyes. Childe smiled and waved and y/n waved and smiled back. The two made eye contact for a moment or two before Childe waved them in, and y/n opened the door. 

Childe had jogged up to the door and smiled, “ didn't know you were gonna come today!” he beamed, like a golden retriever, y/n could practically see the tail wagging behind him. “Of course I would! I gotta make sure Kaeya is improving, plus I'm always here to see how the team plays. I love watching yall” y/n smile and looked up to Childe. Even though y/n wasn't exactly short/tall, they still had to crane their neck up high to look at the Childe's eyes. He was the tallest player on the team and was also annoying and wore pretty good shoes that bumped his height up another few inches. However, y/n didn't mind. Probably their favorite thing about Childe was that he didn't make eye contact uncomfortable. 

Y/n's most important way of conveying that they are listening or that they are happy to talk to a person is when they make eye contact, they make an effort to look people in the eye whenever they talk. And childe was probably their favorite when it came to this. Sure the rest of the team returned the favor, but none of them looked at y/n like they were the greatest player in the world, none of the team looked at them without any hesitation or without thinking they could possibly make any faults. Y/n always felt as though even though they might fuck up, completely screw over a point, that Childe would still look at them and cheer them on. It also helped that the childe had the prettiest eyes in the team. Kaeya had actual stars but it wouldn't compare to the beautiful blue that laced Child's eyes. 

Childe draped an arm across their shoulders and pulled them close, walking to the middle of the court, a loud voice booming from him, “did you guys hear that! y/n said they love watching us play!” He cheered and the rest of the team laughed a little as well. 

“Since that's the case let's give them the greatest practice game we've ever played!” Childe cheered once again and the rest of the team responded with a ‘hell yeah!’ or ‘woop woop!’.  Y/n smiled and shoved Childe off of them lightly, “Alright get to practicing, and let go of me, you're already sweaty!” y/n laughed a little and childe rubbed Y/n’s hair as they walked away, earning the bird in return. 

Y/n plopped down on the bleachers next to Venti and set their stuff down. They looked over his shoulders slightly, he had some paperwork out and then the line up. He quickly closed his binder, however, and looked up at y/n. 

“Your mere presence brings the team to excitement, Y/n. if i were you id feel honored, it's hard for me to even hype them up that much. It's usually the captain's job” he smiled, a wink following his words. y/n just laughed and shook their head, however. “I'm not that special. I think they are just happy to have a new face around.” they waved off venti who had rolled his eyes at their bashfulness. 

y/n stared at the team who peppered, they were all relaxed. Laughing at each other for stupid mistakes and encouraging each other when they made a good save, a feeling of longing returned to their stomach, they could basically see themself standing there. 

Y/n stood at the ten foot line, they were idly standing waiting for the ball to be passed up. Lumine stood from across the court right on the edge of the line. They both had their jerseys on and their knee pads were on their ankles. It was clear none of them meant business. Lumine threw the ball up high and y/n stepped under it, pushing it back to lumine. she passed it back and y/n went to go hit it back but a ball hit their ankle and they accidently snapped their wrist too much. Y/n had originally began to laugh a little,  “My bad, my bad” they smiled and shook their wrist a bit as Lumine dove for the ball, scraping their knees slightly.  “My gosh youre so fucking worthless.” lumine hissed at y/n, causing them to stop. Their laughter died in their throat. They tried to laugh a  little, waiting for Lumine to say ‘it's just a joke! Relax!’ but it never came. Lumine threw the ball at the floor and walked away to go pepper with someone else. Leaving y/n alone, holding a ball, and wondering why they even stayed on this team…

“You should go pepper with one of them, childe looks like he's kinda butting into xiao’s and diluc’s passing.'' Venti spoke absentmindedly, looking at the y/n who had been zoned out while looking at the court. The words snapped them out of their trance and they looked over at venti,  “Oh, nah. I don't think he'd want to anyways.” they laughed, trying to persuade venti not to make them go pepper without actually saying it. They didn't want to pepper, they wanted to play. Not get that small taste just for it to be snatched out of their grasp. Like a window at the top of an isolation cell.  “Oh he would love it! Here I'll call him over! CHILDE! Get over here and pepper with y/n!” Venti yelled ad y/n tried to wave their hands to say no but Childe had already started running over with a ball in his hands. “Of course! C'mon Y/n!” he smiled , waving them up. y/n sighed and took a sip of the coffee that venti had gotten them. They looked up at Childe and there he was again, making eye contact as always. Not with a judging look. But one of excitement. ‘He's not like that, Y/n. Just go pepper, you'll be fine’ they spoke to themselves and stood up. They positioned themself on the ten foot line, so much like how they had done before. Childe threw the ball up and they positioned themself under the ball, setting it high and just like how Lumine liked her sets. Childe took a step forward and set it back to them, but a ball rolled over and bumped against y/n's ankle causing them to stutter step and snap their wrist too much. Childe dove forward to the ball,  skidding his knees slightly. His knee pads were on his ankles. The ball came back to y/n on the floor and he laid on the floor on his back. y/n expected a yell from him but soon he started to laugh. And y/n laughed a little as well. 

“Haha my bad!” he spoke before hopping back onto his feet. y/n picked up the ball and stared at him. He didn't stalk away. He stayed. Childe stayed. He made eye contact. Y/n hesitated, not knowing what to do with themself.  “Cmon, throw the ball up! That was my bad. You don't have to stare at me like I'm going to yell at you!” he laughed a little, drawing y/n out of their trance. Y/n smiled, and threw the ball up. 

Peppering and warming up continued as the clock hit 7:55. Venti had turned from paperwork to drills and started running the team through different exercises. y/n on the sidelines coaching Kaeya as well. Giving small pointers here and there, ‘turn your hands in’, ‘center your stomach’, ‘don't jump, but use your legs’. Overall it has been pretty effective. And y/n got to watch the boys play from a new perspective. However there hadn't been any sighting of the harbingers, until the door opened. 

The team stopped and all turned to look at the door. Venti had already started rolling the ball cart over to the side of the court where the team was going to be practicing. He had the team line up then brought y/n to go stand in front of all of the team by the ventis side. In they walked. A team of six, with one manager, Signorita. 

“Welcome! Ah, it's such a pleasure to see you again, Signorita. Is the Tsarista not here once again?” Venti spoke, yet there was a strain in his voice and his hands stood awkwardly at his sides.  “Ah Barbatos, you know better. The Tsaritsa is off doing her own thing, preparing new things for us to face. I'm stepping in as coach for this game, but I doubt I will need to… Say, whos this lovely face, i feel as though i've seen them before…'' Signorita spoke, her voice as cold as ice but her intentions burning through y/n and venti. y/n smiled awkwardly,  “I'm Y/n L/n, I'm here to help coach.” they spoke, not knowing how much venti wanted them to disclose.  “Awh such a sweet name you are simply so sweet.” Signorita smiled, her arm crossing over her stomach and her other elbow propping up against the forearm. She looked fit, she probably was, actually. 

She was. Y/n recognized her now. This was Signorita, she was the setter for the Harbingers female team before she had a nasty accident and had to retire to the side lines and benches. Y/n shivered remembering the accident. They remember witnessing it from the other side of the net. Signorita had practically thrown herself to the ground to get a ball up, but had landed on her wrist, completely shattering it. Y/n remembered watching Signorita trying to shrug it off, and how she left the court after her team, and the Tsaritsa, had dragged her off. What was worse was that y/n remembered lumine making direct eye contact with y/n and saying ‘we wouldn't let you off this court’. 

“Oh! I remember you, you were the dear setter for the Khaenri’ah team. How precious you were. I remember how terrible that team treated you." Signorita smiled cutely before their eyes glanced over the entirety of the gym, then landing on someone behind y/n. “Oh and you, the silly little traitor.” she smiled before scoffing, y/n heard a small laugh come from behind them, they looked over their shoulder to see childe laughing and scratching his neck and staring at the ground. Traitor? 

“Oh but the past is the past!” she smiled and nodded to the court across from the team, “we will only take five or so minutes to warm up, then we can get right to playing. Would we like an up-ref? I would hate for the game to go… sour.” she smiled, a sinister glean behind her words. However, Venti smiled and shook his head. 

“We’re sharing this court for this time, we shouldn't need a up-ref, it's not as though we will be kicking the other team from under the net, will we?” Venti spoke, his eyes staring right through Signorita. She shook her head and smiled, however the smile didn't exactly give y/n any ease in the overwhelming feeling of fear that traced their stomach. The Harbingers then bowed behind their manager and walked over to the court they would be playing on and began to warm up.

Childe gathered up the team and y/n went to go Supervise but venti tugged on their arm. They looked at him, “y/n. I know this is easier said than done, but don't let Signorita get in your head.” he spoke, his voice as old as ice. Sending shivers down y/ns spine. 

“I wouldn't do that, I'm not even playing… it's just a practice game right?”  y/n spoke nervously, they had been trying to remind themself it was a practice game, but the serious beef between the two teams was starting to get under their skin. “Not to the harbingers. They fight hard, they play dirty, and they tend to not hold punches. The coaches play mind games you would not believe, just, don’t talk to her. She’ll use you to get into the team's head. Ignore her and let me do the talking, alright?” Venti spoke. Y/n nodded and he smiled before patting her on the back and pushing her into the group of players. The team welcomed her and Childe brought her under his and Diluc's arms. 

Y/n stared at the ground, feeling nervousness brimming their body as the team talked between themselves they all spoke of what to do, strategizing and planning. y/n couldn't listen however, their eyes focused on the ground and their hands busy picking at the skin around their fingernails. It wasn't until the team dispersed to get water and do the last bit of warming up that Childe addressed them head on. 

“Hey you good?” he asked, placing a soft hand on their shoulder. they looked up and smiled, they could be nervous all they wanted but why should they bring down the team with their anxiety.  “Yeah I'm fine!” y/n smiled, but it felt strained and the wrinkles did not form around their eyes. Childe stared into their eyes, but y/n couldn't meet them. They looked anywhere but childe. Like the sign behind his head, something about the sponsor of the school, it was another nameless company that promised something but never delivered.  “Look me in the eye,” childe spoke, drawing their attention back to him, “and tell me youre fine.” he finished his sentence. Y/n gulped and looked him in the eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed, and since when did both of his hands find their ways to y/n’s shoulders? Y/n opened their mouths to say something, but they couldn't find the words in their throat. It simply died out.  “So, traitor huh?” they “masterfully” changed the topic, childe stared at them. A chuckle escaped his mouth and he shook his head as he let the fact they completely changed the topic slide.  “Yeah, I used to be on The Harbingers, but transferred over to the Teyvats when I was sent to Liyue for a few weeks. The team was hella toxic anyways.” he spoke, letting his hands drop from y/ns shoulders. Y/n released a breath they didn't know they were holding.  “Damn, I didn't realize they were that uptight. Well then, I'm a traitor by their standards too, to the Khaenri’ans. We can be traitors together.” y/n smiled, meeting his eyes. He laughed, wrinkles showed up by his eyes and y/n noticed the freckles placed across his cheeks. 

“Cool! We're partners in crime!” he laughed, running a hand through his hair, dischelving it.  “Right! You're the one that causes the arson, I'm the cool minded one!” they smiled and 

Childe placed a dramatic facial expression on his face, he gasped. 

“I can be cool minded!” he tried to defend himself but y/n nearly laughed a little.  “Can be, won't be. I have too much anxiety to charge into anything like a chicken without its head, you charge right in. which is why most of your hits go into the net '' they giggled as Childe fell back, his hand laid against his forehead and his other hand dramatically placed on his heart.  “You wound me, Y/n, you wound me!” he basically yelled and y/n laughed and reached up to rub the top of his hair.  “You'll be alright, maybe if you play really good today i'll take back what i said and you can be the cool headed partner in crime” they laughed and he nodded his head enthusiastically and smiled,  “Bet!” 

The teams lined up on the courts, neither worrying about subbing in the liberos or where they stood, it wasn't until venti offered first serve to the harbingers and gave the ball over that the entire team started to get serious. They all got into their positions and y/n glanced over all their faces. They all looked as hard as rocks, none of them even blinking. 

Kaeya pulled up Diluc first, over on the outside position of the court, childe stood in the middle of the ten foot line, chongyun pulled back as a DS over on the right. In the middle back was Xinqui, the second best passer besides xiao, who was placed next to Xinqui.

“Oh! I guess we need a whistle. Here, lovely Y/n would you do the honors” Venti spoke smiling, Y/n nodded and shuffled around in their bag before pulling out a whistle. They bit on the silicon cover and whistled, making the movements to declare that Pierro, the setter and the first server, could serve. He nodded and threw the ball up high in front of him, making an approach before jumping up and hitting the ball, sending it over the net. 

From there the play went quickly. Xiao made a perfect pass up to Kaeya, who set it to childe, who hit the ball and it collided with the blockers on the other side of the net, who were Dottore and Pantalone. It bounced off their hands and back into their side of the court. When Punciella passed up, Pierro set it up, and Scaramouche made an approach, hitting the ball. Childe, however, was there and slammed the ball back into the ground with a block of his own. The team cheered and crowded around him, the first point of the game. To the Teyvats. 

The game continued, both coaches giving remarks of improvement to the team and the team taking them and charging forward with pride. Y/n especially had a lot to say to Kaeya, who was starting to get frustrated with them by the middle of the set. 

“I know Y/n!” Kaeya yelled as Y/n had told him to center his body. Y/n stutter stepped backwards and they became quiet. Venti glanced at them, a sigh escaping his mouth.  “Don't mind Kaeya, he gets angry quickly.” Venti spoke, patting y/n on the back, but this did not go unnoticed by Signorita on the other side of the net.  “Awh, is Kaeya just like the other khaenri’ahns? Chasing Y/n off the court? How sad…” she remarked awfully loud. Kaeya stared at her, his mouth wide agape. He started to speak but Venti had already shut down the conversation with a whistle. Scaramouche was now serving, and he had already sent the ball over. Xiao passed it up to Kaeya, who set it to childe, who then hit it over the net, maybe a bit too far over the net. Okay he hit Signorita in the head.   “Childe!” y/n had yelled, their hands covering their mouth. They weren't going to lie, they really wanted to laugh right now, but their fear for what was about to conspire had held them back. Venti on the other hand had begun laughing loudly.  “Ah! And so the Karma continues!” he laughed loudly, Signorita looked absolutely astonished and she looked at Venti like he had just kicked her in the stomach. 

“Oh! So you're laughing at your player who just hit the opposing coach in the head! You're not even going to attest to how bad of a hit that was! Such terrible coaching..” she had scoffed and The Harbingers all kinda just, stood there, not really sure if they should laugh or stand up for the manager. 

Childe laughed and shrugged, “maybe don't cause drama in someone else's team if you don't want karma to hit you upside the head. Especially when you mess with the two greatest setters. I mean you can't even compare to ours!” Childe had mumbled the last two sentences but the team laughed and clapped him on the back. Kaeya and y/n both bashfully smiling to themselves. 

Signorita scoffed loudly, “time out” she had practically yelled and the teams jogged to the sides of the court to talk to their coaches. 

Kaeya looked at y/n as he approached before nodding to the side, they nodded and stepped to the side. “Sorry for yelling at you, you were just trying to help me improve.” he spoke, running a hand through his bangs that had been tangled up, his pony tail resting on his back. 

“No you're alright, I was probably a little overbearing, I'm sorry as well. I just-” they sighed, not knowing how to put their words, “i don't want to make excuses, but rather explain my perspective. When I played for the Khaenri’ahns, they all really hated me, and so I had to push myself to absolute perfection, and subconsciously I'm putting that perfection on you in this game. You don’t deserve that, especially since you aren't even a setter really…” they sighed and he smiled before pulling them into a side hug. 

“You're the greatest coach I've ever had, y/n. Thanks for pushing me” he smiled. 

Coaches and players, it's a relationship that could either break or make a game, a player, a coach. Being understanding and recognizing faults in each other was always the greatest thing the two people could do, no matter what relationship they were in, but in a relationship that was built on a game of mistakes. A game that people use mistakes to get ahead of the other team, it was always important to admit when someone was wrong. So Y/n taking that first step, taking that step to explain why they had been pushing harder than needed, that first step broke down every wall between the two of them. From setter to setter, setter to hitter, player to coach, person to person, the two now knew they could count on the other to admit their imperfections and be able to grow from them. 

However, timeouts are only 30 seconds long. So the team dispersed back onto the court or to the bench to get a few more drinks of water. And the other side lined up once again. Venti whistled as y/n walked to stand beside him. Scaramouche Got into position before serving, and Xiao passed the ball with ease. Kaeya set the ball perfectly to Diluc right behind him, who went up and hit the ball as though there hadn't been a single blocker there, with absolute confidence. Hitting it to the side of the court, Scaramuche barely picked the ball up with a pancake, however the fight was useless and the ball shanked off to the side. None of the team was able to bring it back into the court far enough to send it back over to the other side of the court. 

The teyvats cheered and gathered around clapping and high fiving each other. They then rotated, childe giving high fives to razor who went in for him for backrow. Childe ran over to the sidelines and y/n picked up his water bottle and handed it to him, 

“Thanks” he smiled, taking it from them. He drank from the water bottle, looking at the court from the side of his eye as y/n observed the next serve. The play continued at a fast pace just as usual. When the point was over Childe talked,  “You okay?” childe asked, putting his water bottle down.  “Hm? Oh are you talking to me?” y/n asked, jumping a little not really expecting to be talked to.  “Yeah, those were some pretty rough words from Signorita.” he said looking out onto the court as the next point began.  “Oh, yeah. Its worse for Kaeya im sure” 

“Yeah but Kaeya is a lot more confident then you” “Wow. thanks.”

“No! I didn't mean it like that-” childe stuttered slightly, gaining a laugh from y/n and they pushed him a little,  “I'm kidding with you. You're not wrong, it just sucks to hear it admitted out loud. But yeah I'm fine.” they spoke, staring out at the court, razor made a nice save and y/n clapped and whooped for him.  “... are you sure?” childe asked, his eyes now finding their way to y/n's face. Have y/ns eyelashes always been so long?

“Since when were you so worried for me? I'm just a coach” y/n laughed a little, but the humor wasn't there and it felt strained, like y/n was debating whether or not to say something. “And friend.” he spoke, placing a hand on their shoulder. “... oh”

The plays continued, getting progressively more and more heated until it was the last few points. The team had been fighting this last set for a few points now, up to 26-27, Teyvats. Both teams were exhausted, both were falling to dirty tricks, both were out of time outs. Y/n had been watching from the sidelines with progressively more anxiety. They had to start pacing to keep themselves calm, the rallies were getting longer. It was like neither libero was willing to let a single ball drop even if they had to sacrifice a future with healthy knees and elbows. 

“COME ON” y/n yelled, clapping their hands as Xiao went up to serve. He had a wicked serve. It was a float serve, but hard. It cut through the sky but would drop at any time, making it unpredictable and hard to track. But Captiano was there, every single time. He always got the ball up to the front row. And would be back against the back line seconds after ready for blocks and hits. Both teams were fighting hard, and neither were ready to give up. Kaeya went to set, but his hands were not positioned correctly, and it fell through them and went straight to the ground. 

y/n had never seen a person more angry then Kaeya in that very moment. He looked as though he wanted to kill, and passing the ball under the net with a  slam into the ground only echoed their thoughts. Y/n and venti looked at each other, both knowing what they needed to do, but not knowing if they should do it. Y/n sucked in a  breath, preparing themself before pulling the cord. 

“Xinqui, go in and set for KAeya. Now.” y/n said pushing him forward.  “Oh! Okay-” he stuttered before running onto court, telling Kaeya what to do. Kaeya looked up from Xinqui and made short eye contact with y/n, his eyes as hard as stone and his mouth pulled to a thin line, his hands clenching at his side. He jogged off the court but shouldered y/n on his way to the bench.  “Hey! Don't take your anger out on them!” Venti had lectured, but it fell short because Kaeya wasn't even listening at this point. He was looking off somewhere else with his arms crossed. Throwing a hissy fit basically. 

The next points went quickly, with teyvat just barely losing to some hard blocks and sloppy hits thanks to the change. The team congratulated the other and they all said their goodbyes. The teyvats didn't look too discouraged luckily,  “You all did wonderful!” Venti spoke proudly, he always did that. Even though the team knew they could do better, Venti encouraged them. Maybe that's why he was one of the best coaches… Venti gave them all a run down and told them when to come back for practice next since the team usually practiced in the afternoon. Meanwhile, y/n gathered their things and began to get ready to leave to go get themselves lunch. However, as they approached the door they felt a tap on their shoulder. 

“Why'd you take me out?” The questions were simple, but it was hard. There would always come a point in time when even the greatest of friends would be split in a decision that neither would be able to say was wrong nor right. 

You, yes you reader, may be wondering why as the author I decided to completely change a course of action in the middle of this chapter as the characters, who just had a bonding moment, have a moment of anger. To you I say, you have not been a player who's been pulled out by a coach who you trusted. If you have, then you would understand. 

“I thought you needed a break, you were obviously frustrated and your anger caused bad mistakes that wouldn't happen if you were cool minded. I did the best thing in that situation.” y/n spoke, they were trying not to let their anxiety take hold of their words, and switch them to put themself in the wrong. They weren't wrong, they told themself. They had every reason to take Kaeya off the court. 

“I would've gotten over it. I needed another chance.” KAeya spoke, crossing his arms, ‘closing off to any discussion.’ “You dont get more chances when the points are on line and that close. A simple mistake causes the game to change completely.” y/n spoke as calmly as possible, trying to explain their side of the situation. “So you put in a new setter? If you ask me thats a big mistake that fucked over the entire game.” his voice rose in volume and his arms uncrossed, his hand flying to the side of his body.  “Kaeya, please understand where i'm coming from-” 

“NO! Gosh you ARE a fuck up! Just like Lumine said!” Kaeya spoke, his voice had risen to a yell. y/n stutter step backwards again. They glanced around, trying to make sure no one heard this outburst. But it was useless, everyone was staring at the pair. 

They took a deep breath before making eye contact once again, “Kaeya. I want to politely ask you to take that back. I may have made a mistake, but it was in your, and the teams, best interest.” they spoke, their voice shaky now. 

“No! Because you just cost us the game! I could've pulled through. I know you think you're pushing ‘perfection’ or whatever on me, but maybe push it on yourself a bit more!” he yelled, flailing his arms dramatically. y/n let out a shattered breath, unable to control the shaking in their hands anymore. 

“KAEYA. ALBERICH.” a voice rose against his. Both of their heads snapped to the side, to see Childe with his arms at his side, his fists clenched, and his eyes glaring at Kaeya.  “Kaeya, bench, now.” Venti spoke, stepping forward and pressing a hand to Childe's shoulder.  “Why?” The word was not a question, but a rebuttal. A demand for someone to back him up, not to take y/ns side. 

“Because, we need to talk. Y/n had every reason to take you out of the game, and if I disagreed I would have stopped them. Sit. down. Kaeya alberich.” vent spoke, his words were firm, they don't have the light ease to them as normal. In return, Kaeya huffed and stomped over to the bench. Childe turned to go talk to y/n, but he found they were already gone. The door swinging closed from where they had previously been.

[caleism-1]

Sometimes it just doesn't make sense. The man walking down the street in a banana suit. The llama standing in the middle of the road. The fairies dancing in front of the car window. The fact that all of this was actually happening and wasn't a dream.

There was something in the tree. It was difficult to tell from the ground, but Rachael could see movement. She squinted her eyes and peered in the direction of the movement, trying to decipher exactly what she had spied. The more she peered, however, the more she thought it might be a figment of her imagination. Nothing seemed to move until the moment she began to take her eyes off the tree. Then in the corner of her eye, she would see the movement again and begin the process of staring again.

Out of another, I get a lovely view of the bay and a little private wharf belonging to the estate. There is a beautiful shaded lane that runs down there from the house. I always fancy I see people walking in these numerous paths and arbors, but John has cautioned me not to give way to fancy in the least. He says that with my imaginative power and habit of story-making a nervous weakness like mine is sure to lead to all manner of excited fancies and that I ought to use my will and good sense to check the tendency. So I try.

Debbie had taken George for granted for more than fifteen years now. He wasn't sure what exactly had made him choose this time and place to address the issue, but he decided that now was the time. He looked straight into her eyes and just as she was about to speak, turned away and walked out the door.

Betty decided to write a short story and she was sure it was going to be amazing. She had already written it in her head and each time she thought about it she grinned from ear to ear knowing how wonderful it would be. She could imagine the accolades coming in and the praise she would receive for creating such a wonderful piece. She was therefore extremely frustrated when she actually sat down to write the short story and the story that was so beautiful inside her head refused to come out that way on paper.

There was a reason for her shyness. Everyone assumed it had always been there but she knew better. She knew the exact moment that the shyness began. It had been that fateful moment at the lake. There are just some events that do that to you.

The alarm went off and Jake rose awake. Rising early had become a daily ritual, one that he could not fully explain. From the outside, it was a wonder that he was able to get up so early each morning for someone who had absolutely no plans to be productive during the entire day.

She's asked the question so many times that she barely listened to the answers anymore. The answers were always the same. Well, not exactly the same, but the same in a general sense. A more accurate description was the answers never surprised her. So, she asked for the 10,000th time, "What's your favorite animal?" But this time was different. When she heard the young boy's answer, she wondered if she had heard him correctly.

One can cook on and with an open fire. These are some of the ways to cook with fire outside. Cooking meat using a spit is a great way to evenly cook meat. In order to keep meat from burning, it's best to slowly rotate it. Hot stones can be used to toast bread. Coals are hot and can bring things to a boil quickly. If one is very adventurous, one can make a hole in the ground, fill it with coals and place foil-covered meat, veggies, and potatoes into the coals, and cover all of it with dirt. In a short period of time, the food will be baked. Campfire cooking can be done in many ways.

Sleep deprivation causes all sorts of challenges and problems. When one doesn’t get enough sleep one’s mind doesn’t work clearly. Studies have shown that after staying awake for 24 hours one’s ability to do simple math is greatly impaired. Driving tired has been shown to be as bad as driving drunk. Moods change, depression, anxiety, and mania can be induced by lack of sleep. As much as people try to do without enough sleep it is a wonder more crazy things don’t happen in this world.

Debbie knew she was being selfish and unreasonable. She understood why the others in the room were angry and frustrated with her and the way she was acting. In her eyes, it didn't really matter how they felt because she simply didn't care.

The boxed moved. That was a problem. Peter had packed the box three hours before and there was nothing inside that should make it move. The question now was whether or not Peter was going to open it up and look inside to see why it had moved. The answer to that question was obvious. Peter dropped the package into the mailbox so he would never have to see it again.

His parents continued to question him. He didn't know what to say to them since they refused to believe the truth. He explained again and again, and they dismissed his explanation as a figment of his imagination. There was no way that grandpa, who had been dead for five years, could have told him where the treasure had been hidden. Of course, it didn't help that grandpa was roaring with laughter in the chair next to him as he tried to explain once again how he'd found it.

Should he write it down? That was the question running through his mind. He couldn't believe what had just happened and he knew nobody else would believe him as well. Even if he documented what had happened by writing it down, he still didn't believe anyone would still believe it. So the question remained. Was it be worth it to actually write it down?

The house was located at the top of the hill at the end of a winding road. It wasn't obvious that the house was there, but everyone in town knew that it existed. They were just all too afraid to ever go and see it in person.

Waiting and watching. It was all she had done for the past weeks. When you’re locked in a room with nothing but food and drink, that’s about all you can do anyway. She watched as birds flew past the window bolted shut. She couldn’t reach it if she wanted too, with that hole in the floor. She thought she could escape through it but three stories is a bit far down.

Wandering down the path to the pond had become a daily routine. Even when the weather wasn't cooperating like today with the wind and rain, Jerry still took the morning stroll down the path until he reached the pond. Although there didn't seem to be a particular reason Jerry did this to anyone looking in from the outside, those who knew him well knew exactly what was going on. It could all be traced back to a specific incident that happened exactly 5 years previously.

Her hand was balled into a fist with her keys protruding out from between her fingers. This was the weapon her father had shown her how to make when she walked alone to her car after work. She wished that she had something a little more potent than keys between her fingers. It would have been nice to have some mace or pepper spray. He had been meaning to buy some but had never gotten around to it. As the mother bear took another step forward with her cubs in tow, she knew her fist with keys wasn't going to be an adequate defense for this situation.

There are only three ways to make this work. The first is to let me take care of everything. The second is for you to take care of everything. The third is to split everything 50 / 50. I think the last option is the most preferable, but I'm certain it'll also mean the end of our marriage.

It really doesn't matter what she thinks as it isn't her problem to solve. That's what he kept trying to convince himself. She was trying to insert her opinion where it wasn't wanted or welcome. He already had a plan and even though that plan didn't correspond with what she wanted him to do or what should be done, it wasn't her decision to make. The question now became whether he would stick to his convictions and go through with his plan knowing she wouldn't approve.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow in more detail at our meeting, but I think I've found a solution to our problem. It's not exactly legal, but it won't land us in jail for the rest of our lives either. Are you willing to take the chance?" Monroe asked his partner over the phone.

It had been a simple realization that had changed Debra's life perspective. It was really so simple that she was embarrassed that she had lived the previous five years with the way she measured her worth. Now that she saw what she had been doing, she could see how sad it was. That made her all the more relieved she had made the change. The number of hearts her Instagram posts received wasn't any longer the indication of her own self-worth.

There was a time in his life when her rudeness would have set him over the edge. He would have raised his voice and demanded to speak to the manager. That was no longer the case. He barely reacted at all, letting the rudeness melt away without saying a word back to her. He had been around long enough to know where rudeness came from and how unhappy the person must be to act in that way. All he could do was feel pity and be happy that he didn't feel the way she did to lash out like that.

They had always called it the green river. It made sense. The river was green. The river likely had a different official name, but to everyone in town, it was and had always been the green river. So it was with great surprise that on this day the green river was a fluorescent pink.

It wasn't that he hated her. It was simply that he didn't like her much. It was difficult for him to explain this to her, and even more difficult for her to truly understand. She was in love and wanted him to feel the same way. He didn't, and no matter how he tried to explain to her she refused to listen or to understand.

It had been a late night. To be more correct, it had been an early morning. It was now 3:00 AM and George was just getting home. He wasn't sure if it had been worth it. He was supposed to have been finished by 10:00 PM, but his boss had implored him to stay and help when it was clear they weren't going to meet the 10:00 PM target time. So, he had stayed an extra 5 hours and lost a good night's sleep for something he didn't really believe in, but he did anyway because he was afraid if he refused he might lose his job.

Her mom had warned her. She had been warned time and again, but she had refused to believe her. She had done everything right and she knew she would be rewarded for doing so with the promotion. So when the promotion was given to her main rival, it not only stung, it threw her belief system into disarray. It was her first big lesson in life, but not the last.

Brenda never wanted to be famous. While most of her friends dreamed about being famous, she could see the negative aspects that those who wanted to be famous seemed to ignore. The fact that you could never do anything in public without being mobbed and the complete lack of privacy was something that she never wanted to experience. She also had no desire to have strangers speculating about every aspect of her life and what each thing she did was supposed to mean. Brenda was perfectly happy with her anonymous life where she could do exactly as she wanted without anyone else giving a damn. Thus, her overnight Internet celebrity was not something she was thrilled about as her friends told her how lucky she was.

The red glow of tail lights indicating another long drive home from work after an even longer 24-hour shift at the hospital. The shift hadn’t been horrible but the constant stream of patients entering the ER meant there was no downtime. She had some of the “regulars” in tonight with new ailments they were sure were going to kill them. It’s amazing what a couple of Tylenol and a physical exam from the doctor did to eliminate their pain, nausea, headache, or whatever other mild symptoms they had. Sometimes she wondered if all they really needed was some interaction with others and a bit of the individual attention they received from the nurses.

They had made it to Las Vegas, wide-eyed and with so much hope and energy. They had planned the trip for more than a year and both were so excited they could barely control themselves. They still hadn't realized that Las Vegas promised a place where dreams come true, it was actually the place where dreams came to die.

The kids were loud. They were way too loud for Jerry, especially since this was a four-hour flight. The parents didn't seem to be able, or simply didn't want, to control them. They were yelling and fighting among themselves and it was impossible for any of the passengers to concentrate or rest. He thought about politely tapping on the parents' shoulders and asking them to try and get their kids under a bit more control, but before he did he came up with a better idea. Sure, it was a bit sinister, and he'd probably end p in a lot of trouble, but he really didn't care at that point.

The time had come for Nancy to say goodbye. She had been dreading this moment for a good six months, and it had finally arrived despite her best efforts to forestall it. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't keep the inevitable from happening. So the time had come for a normal person to say goodbye and move on. It was at this moment that Nancy decided not to be a normal person. After all the time and effort she had expended, she couldn't bring herself to do it.

He swung back the fishing pole and cast the line which ell 25 feet away into the river. The lure landed in the perfect spot and he was sure he would soon get a bite. He never expected that the bite would come from behind in the form of a bear.

It all started with the computer. Had he known what was to follow, he would have never logged on that day. But the truth was there was no way to know what was about to happen. So Dave pressed the start button, the computer booted up, the screen came alive, and everything Dave knew to be true no longer was.

He couldn't remember exactly where he had read it, but he was sure that he had. The fact that she didn't believe him was quite frustrating as he began to search the Internet to find the article. It wasn't as if it was something that seemed impossible. Yet she insisted on always seeing the source whenever he stated a fact.

The cab arrived late. The inside was in as bad of shape as the outside which was concerning, and it didn't appear that it had been cleaned in months. The green tree air-freshener hanging from the rearview mirror was either exhausted of its scent or not strong enough to overcome the other odors emitting from the cab. The correct decision, in this case, was to get the hell out of it and to call another cab, but she was late and didn't have a choice.

Dragons don't exist they said. They are the stuff of legend and people's imagination. Greg would have agreed with this assessment without a second thought 24 hours ago. But now that there was a dragon staring directly into his eyes, he questioned everything that he had been told.

There was nothing to indicate Nancy was going to change the world. She looked like an average girl going to an average high school. It was the fact that everything about her seemed average that would end up becoming her superpower.

The water rush down the wash and into the slot canyon below. Two hikers had started the day to sunny weather without a cloud in the sky, but they hadn't thought to check the weather north of the canyon. Huge thunderstorms had brought a deluge o rain and produced flash floods heading their way. The two hikers had no idea what was coming.

It was hidden under the log beside the stream. It had been there for as long as Jerry had been alive. He wasn't sure if anyone besides him and his friends knew of its existence. He knew that anyone could potentially find it, but it was well enough hidden that it seemed unlikely to happen. The fact that it had been there for more than 30 years attested to this. So it was quite a surprise when he found the item was missing.

Sarah watched the whirlpool mesmerized. She couldn't take her eyes off the water swirling around and around. She stuck in small twigs and leaves to watch the whirlpool catch them and then suck them down. It bothered her more than a little bit that this could also be used as a metaphor for her life.

Matt told her to reach for the stars, but Veronica thought it was the most ridiculous advice she'd ever received. Sure, it had been well-meaning when he said it, but she didn't understand why anyone would want to suggest something that would literally kill you if you actually managed to achieve it.

There were only two ways to get out of this mess if they all worked together. The problem was that neither was all that appealing. One would likely cause everyone a huge amount of physical pain while the other would likely end up with everyone in jail. In Sam's mind, there was only one thing to do. He threw everyone else under the bus and he secretly sprinted away leaving the others to take the fall without him.

It was a simple tip of the hat. Grace didn't think that anyone else besides her had even noticed it. It wasn't anything that the average person would notice, let alone remember at the end of the day. That's why it seemed so unbelievable that this little gesture would ultimately change the course of the world.

Debbie put her hand into the hole, sliding her hand down as far as her arm could reach. She wiggled her fingers hoping to touch something, but all she felt was air. She shifted the weight of her body to try and reach an inch or two more down the hole. Her fingers still touched nothing but air.

I'm so confused by your ridiculous meltdown that I must insist on some sort of explanation for your behavior towards me. It just doesn't make any sense. There's no way that I deserved the treatment you gave me without an explanation or an apology for how out of line you have been.

Greg understood that this situation would make Michael terribly uncomfortable. Michael simply had no idea what was about to come and even though Greg could prevent it from happening, he opted to let it happen. It was quite ironic, really. It was something Greg had said he would never wish upon anyone a million times, yet here he was knowingly letting it happen to one of his best friends. He rationalized that it would ultimately make Michael a better person and that no matter how uncomfortable, everyone should experience racism at least once in their lifetime.

He was aware there were numerous wonders of this world including the unexplained creations of humankind that showed the wonder of our ingenuity. There are huge heads on Easter Island. There are the Egyptian pyramids. There’s Stonehenge. But he now stood in front of a newly discovered monument that simply didn't make any sense and he wondered how he was ever going to be able to explain it.

At that moment he had a thought that he'd never imagine he'd consider. "I could just cheat," he thought, "and that would solve the problem." He tried to move on from the thought but it was persistent. It didn't want to go away and, if he was honest with himself, he didn't want it to.

There were a variety of ways to win the game. James had played it long enough to know most of them and he could see what his opponent was trying to do. There was a simple counterattack that James could use and the game should be his. He began deploying it with the confidence of a veteran player who had been in this situation a thousand times in the past. So, it was with great surprise when his opponent used a move he had never before seen or anticipated to easily defeat him in the game.

[pengspoems]

Understanding

(Sorry for not posting last week)

You live your life, thinking most of your childhood is normal. Not great, but not bad. But, when you are seventeen, you wake up with the knowledge that what happened to you wasn’t your fault in anyway shape or form. You were the victim.

You were excited at the prospect of analyzing serial killers background for your essay. A topic you would actually find interesting, that was until you realized you shouldn't be able to relate as much as you are to how they grew up.

The night after you discovered this, you couldn’t sleep and spent hours staring out your window into nothingness, trying to piece together what exactly it meant.

Why the hell everyone else around you had a better chance of getting along than you did?

It didn’t make any sense.

You didn’t even know how to process it. All you really knew was that it made absolutely no fucking sense.

And so, when the realization hit you in the middle of the night, you had a momentary lapse in judgment and ran. Because there was nothing else to do.

You left the dorm, locked the door behind you, and sat on a park bench in the quad. The grass was still wet and the wind blew the scent of freshly cut gra. It smelled fresh.

With everything that had been going wrong with you, it smelled like fresh, clean air.

You never had close friends growing up, never had anyone else's family and childhood to compare yours to. You thought your childhood was normal, when did it go so wrong.

Your sight slowly burned away from the tears building up in your eyes. You sniffed as more fell down your cheeks, stinging and bringing back memories you thought you'd buried long ago.

You felt like the weight of the world was resting on your shoulders. That it was all somehow falling onto your lap.

How could you not have seen this coming?

How were you supposed to react to something like this?

A small sound pulled you out of your head. Your eyes scanned over the area and found a boy who looked about your age sitting on the bench next to you.

He had black hair and a scar running across his nose. His glasses were slightly askew and his shirt was untucked and unbuttoned. For someone so calm, he certainly seemed rushed.

"Hi." Your voice came out as barely a whisper as you stared blankly at him.He flinched and glanced between you and the ground before nodding.

"Hey, uh, are you okay?" He spoke softly but clearly enough for you to hear him despite the distance between us. His voice was thick with emotion and anxiety, and his gaze flickered between you and the ground again.

You had no idea why he was here, he didn't seem to be a great person for comfort.

How do you tell someone who has gone through what you went through in an effort to escape their past that you feel like you can't breathe?

You swallow hard and force yourself to sit upright. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry to bother you..." He looked at me unsure.

"Do you want a hug?" I just stared at him, when was the last time I had a hug.

I nodded, "Sure," He wrapped his arms around me slowly, you melt into the hug. You just sit there together for a bit.

"Thank you..." you whispered to him. He just gave you a quick gentle squeeze and let you stay there.

[spicysoftsweet]

summary: gojo’s tired of you resisting him

warnings: home invasion, noncon, degradation, fem!reader

a/n: this was supposed to be a crumb for @mahitopegger i have no idea wtf happened. i didn’t edit this || reposted from sideblog (now deactivated) on 4/17/2021.

It was only after the soft click of your door, and the eerie silence thereafter that seemed to threaten to close you in, that you realized that something wasn’t quite right. Your eyes darted left, then right, and you kicked off your shoes slower than usual, setting them semi-haphazardly to the side of your entryway.

Even if you weren’t paranoid, you were still the type of person to double check, sometimes triple-check your locks on occasion before you left your home, and you did remember your key turning the right way just seconds ago.

Maybe you were overreacting - after all you lived in a relatively safe area, alone save for your cat with a propensity to mewl for food at all hours of the day. Ah, that was possibly the issue, the fact that your little furry friend hadn’t made his presence immediately. But he knew how to be quiet sometimes, and was fond of an early afternoon nap.

The sound of your keys clattering on your coffee table now seemed unceremoniously loud, like you were disturbing a religious service. In your own house.

Your heart started to race for just a moment, and you turned around quickly.

Nothing. No person, no ghost, no cat. Just you, a sudden sense of unease, and your rapidly beating heart.

Why were you so anxious?

You couldn’t recall the last time you’d felt so unsettled for the moments in which you paced down your hallway, ears tuned to the soft footfalls of your presumably sleeping companion. You would have whispered its name but you didn’t want to wake up the needy little bastard unnecessarily.

It was only three paces in that you stilled suddenly, and the memory of the last time you’d felt this way suddenly struck vividly in your mind.

Clear blue eyes, bordered by long, pale white eyelashes. A smile, once easy and bright, with corners turned up far too high into malice.

You froze.

Was it him? Was Gojo in your house? He wouldn’t... would he?

Your last encounter had been... suboptimal, to say the least. You’d all but told him to get lost, that you weren’t and would never be interested, not after knowing who he was, what he was.

You needed a quiet, calm existence. Your imprint on the world would be measured. You had to stay away from bad omens like his.

But his reaction had been unnatural. He hadn’t given you a real response, just a smile, and you had felt just as unnerved then as you did now before you parted.

You were clearly still spooked.

But these nerves were just vestiges of your anxiety. Gojo knew how to take no for an answer. Of course he did.

He didn’t - you opened your bedroom to find the young sorcerer waiting for you, your cat comfortable in his arms.

“Ah! You’re back~”

Gojo didn’t move; rather, he continued to sit in his relaxed position, legs outstretched onto the bed, palm stroking softly at the soft orange fur. The soft purr of the docile animal filled the air with sharp contrast to your wordless mouth, opening and closing once in shock, and the frenzied beat of your heart.

He smiled before his eyes did, and shifted on top of your covers, getting to his feet. Dressed casually in a white t-shirt and a loose pair of sweatpants, as though he’d been lounging around your house the entire day... as though he lived here.

“W-what are you doing here?”  You choked out.

His eyebrows furrowed, and his hold on the little creature relaxed, who remained for just a moment, mewing once before jumping off his lap, brushing by your legs that felt as though they would start shaking any moment, and then promptly sauntered out of the room.

“You didn’t tell me you had a cat,” Satoru remarked, now sitting with legs criss-crossed on the bed, hair mussed and relaxed, and with affect as bright as a child on his first sleepover. He patted the space on the bed next to him, beckoning you to come sit. “Did you have a good day?”

“Gojo, please get out of my house.”

His expression darkened for just a moment before it returned to its natural cheeriness. He patted the space next to him again.

“You must be tired. I can make you something. Tea?”

Your feet were glued to the ground, neither advancing nor retreating.

“P-please leave,” you repeated, more wary this time. Your hands were starting to shake and you watched his eyes flicker to them, then back to your eyes.

“Why would I do that?” He said, tilting his head ever so slightly.

His eyes bore into yours and you felt your stomach turn.

“Don’t you like my attention?”

“Satoru, please,” you continued, your lower lip wobbling inadvertently. “Please, just leave... I won’t tell anyone you came here, just... I can’t return whatever feelings you have, so just go.”

Your fists clenched and unclenched, but you still were so tense, planted onto the floor as though you were a sharp dagger thrust into vulnerable flesh. Why weren’t your feet moving? You should be running. Running as far as you can from this man who could just as easily become a monster if he so pleased.

As though he knew you’d already become powerless - not that it made a difference, the power differential was already so vast - he rose, walking towards you in an open, unguarded stance. He wasn’t afraid of you in the least. The very thought made your blood boil.

Once he stood before you, towering over your shorter, smaller frame, his lips pursed.

“Stop shaking.”

It was a command, given in an annoyed but direct fashion.

You don’t know why you eked out, powerlessly, “I can’t.”

“You weren’t this afraid when you were telling me to fuck off a couple days ago,” he noted. His hand rose to grip your chin, tilting your face to him. You don’t know when you’d started crying, but tears were now streaming down your face, warm and wetting his fingers.

“You’re crying? Where’s the sass you had then?”

“Please...”

Against your better wishes, his lips pressed to yours, and somehow then, your body remembered that adrenaline could also make you fight, and you did fight, thumping your hands balled into fists against his chest and his shoulders, as his hand gripped your chin tighter and his tongue forced its way down your throat. Once he’d gotten tired of your struggle, his other arm hooked around your waist, and he pulled you closer, pressing you against his body.

Your screams were muffled by his kiss as it grew deeper, and at some point, he’d decided on biting your lip painfully, drawing blood once he’d threatened you to shut the fuck up before he gave you something to cry about for real.

You remembered that the first time Gojo had kissed you, it had been soft and tender, nothing like this kiss that was violent and demanded submission; once his hand moved from its grip on your chin, it grasped your hair, fingers twisting and tugging to tilt your head back.

His lips left yours, now red and soon purple and blue, and made their way down your neck to mark them the same.

Every scream was futile, every plea for mercy fell on deaf ears.

At some point, you may have heard your cat meow for something... food? Out of sympathy? You weren’t sure, all you could think about were the painful hickeys on your collarbones and traveling down your bosom.

“I don’t know why you’re so resistant. You yourself called me selfish,” he murmured, ripping the top part of your clothing with the nonchalance with which one would peel a banana. At the sight of your exposed breasts, he was like a man rabid, slamming you backwards into the wall without much regard for head injury. His left arm caged you in, while his right pressed painfully onto your breast.

He paused for a moment, and grinned salaciously.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that~! You look so docile... it’s weird coming from you.”

To that, a fire renewed in your eyes, and you spat directly in his face. His lips curled again in satisfaction, barely reacting to the spittle dripping down his pretty features.

“Fuck you.”

“I will.”

With a small chuckle, he jerked your face painfully to the left such that you couldn’t look at him directly as he took your breast into his mouth.

The idea of this bastard suckling on you, loudly, lewdly as though you’d belonged to him only made the churn in your stomach worse, but the desperate attempts to a knee to his chest were met with barely a resistance. Like he knew you couldn’t hurt him and it was only a matter of time until you stopped and succumbed to him.

The process was already happening - you could feel your nipples hardening and a new flow of heat in your panties. Your tears became more prolific - no longer fear, but rage, but the hand that kept you steady against the wall was impossibly strong.

Your head swam as a confused pleasure started to replace the pain and fear you were feeling. More clothing was torn off of you, more of your skin was marked and licked and sucked. Once your panties were ripped to shreds, he lay your now languid and fight-drained body against him, cooing appreciatively at the new helplessness, pumping two slender fingers up and down your wet inner core as he moved you from the hard wall to the soft bed.

You almost thanked him.

His fingers remained within you as he laid you down, but once he withdrew his touch as your pounding hazy head hit the pillow, he replaced them with the roughness of his tongue, penetrating you without the least bit of shame.

You let slip the moan you had been holding in in defiance.

“That’s it, baby, let me hear you.”

He continued to lick and you continued to mewl.

Once he’d tired of the taste of your cunt, he invaded your privacy in the most all-encompassing way possible, pushing every inch of a greedy, throbbing cock inside of you. As you cried from the stretch, he shushed you with a hand clasped over your mouth to muffle your screams.

As if someone was going to help you. Maybe your cat would come and watch, but he’d found something else to do.

“I know it hurts but you’ll get used to it, I promise, babe,” he murmured, groaning slightly as he seated himself to the hilt. “There.”

He stilled and in the silence of the moment only punctuated by both of your soft pants, you remembered how to sob.

His nose crinkled, and he let out of a soft sigh, cock jerking impatiently inside you.

“Why are you so stubborn?” He mused, leaning against you so that his head rested in the softness of your breasts. He could hear your heartbeat that doesn’t beat for him... but rather it did, because he is the one making it quicken in some odd rhythm of terror and pleasure.

You didn’t speak because there was far, far too much to yell.

As though a timer had rung to mark the end of his empathy, he rose onto his hands again, sighing as he adjusted into the plushness of your walls that didn’t reject him as fervently as you did. He moved, shoving two fingers down your throat to gag your renewed protests as he thrust into you repeatedly.

The short gasps with every stroke only encouraged him, and the immense pleasure he found in the light of your eyes starting to fade into a placid dullness.

“You love me,” he informed you with every rut.

You didn’t answer.  

You weren’t sure what this disgusting repetitive sensation bringing your body to climax was. You were no longer sure what he was even talking about, just that there was a warm thing pumping inside of you and fingers down your throat and pain everywhere else in your body, particularly your neck and shoulders and arms and breasts, and you were staring into precious sapphires littering the base of twin lakes.

“You love me,” he repeated. “I know you do.”

[thefanficmonster]

Corpse’s Girl

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Bullying, Swearing, Derogatory Terms

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Summary: Y/N’s life as a regular college student is forever stripped away from her when her relationship with the famous YouTuber Corpse Husband is accidentally revealed during an online class of hers. How will she cope with the sudden spotlight and the unwanted attention, some of which crosses into bullying?

Requested by my amazing Tumblr friend @itsminniekat 🥰 She’s been reading and liking my works since day one and I honestly couldn’t be more grateful. If you’re reading this, all I can say is thank you, darling. Thank you so much for sticking by my blog even when I posted some crappy fics. I’ll make sure this ain’t one of them. Love you with all my heart. ❤❤❤

P.S. - I named the mean character with my name so I hope no one who reads this has the same name. Wouldn’t want any of you feeling like the villain 😘

Who knew online class would be even more boring than being physically present for a lecture? Seriously, I find myself doing the weirdest of crap to entertain myself - like trying to balance a pen on the tip of my nose for example. I jot down some notes every now and then but that’s basically it. My mind can not fathom the concept on concentrating on whatever my professors are going on and on about. Well, full disclosure, I couldn’t concentrate even if I wanted to, especially with my boyfriend streaming in the other room.

He’s currently playing Among Us with his usual gaming squad. Listening to his input during the discussions, I can always tell when he’s lying. I honestly find it hilarious that his friends can’t pick up when he’s bullshitting them. I sometimes wonder if he has brainwashed them. And that’s one of the main reasons we don’t play Among Us together - he can’t lie to me. Not only do I pick up on his con with ease, but he always says he feels bad when he lies to me which is just the sweetest thing. Also, I refuse to play cause I’m shy. His friends are all well-known content creators and I’m a literal nobody. Every now and then I find myself wondering why Corpse is even with me. He’s always quick to push those thoughts out of my head and make sure they don’t return on a long notice, but they do interrupt my peace from time to time.

“Y/N, do you know?“ The sound of my professor saying my name takes me out of my eavesdropping of Corpse’s stream.

I panic, but quickly improvise, “Sorry, my internet is slow, you cut out for a second. What was the question?” I feel my face heating up, making me glad we are allowed to keep our cameras off.

“Question number 15 on page 82 in your textbook. Do you know the answer to it?“ My professor repeats himself, his tone annoyed.

I look down at the page that’s already opened in front of me. I let out a sigh of relief, seeing that the question is rather easy.

“Yeah, um, it’s...“ Suddenly, Corpse’s laugh reaches my room loud and clear. There’s no doubt my mic picked up the noise, especially since the door to my room is open.

The color drains from my face as I hurry to say the answer and remute myself. My eyes are wide as I stare at my screen, hoping no one will acknowledge that very recognizable laugh.

“OMG Y/N, are you watching a Corpse Husband stream in class?” One of the bitches in my class, Vy, speaks up, “Not a very goody-two-shoe move on your part, dear.” 

I purposely unmute my mic to mumble a quick ‘Shut up, bitch’ that somehow manages to fly under my professor’s radar and the class continues. It’s the first time something like this has happened and I’m not sure if I handled it properly or not.

The class ends shortly after, allowing me a sigh of relief as I disconnect from the meeting. 

“Fucking finally.“ I mumble to myself, leaning back in my desk chair. Tilting my head backwards, I see Corpse standing in the doorframe. I grin, not only because his presence itself makes me ten times happier, but also because he’s upside down from my viewpoint. “Well, hello there! How long have you been spying on me?“

He struts over to me, leaning his face over mine, “Long enough.” His lips linger above mine without any actual contact before he pulls away, allowing me to sit up straight and proper in the chair. “You still have classes?”

I nod my head while disappointedly rolling my eyes, “Yeah. One more. Shouldn’t be too bad since it’s English Lit. You’re done streaming?”

“Yeah, I just have some other things to do. I haven’t done a narration video in a while, I miss making that type of content.“ He plops down on my bed, running a hand through his messy black curls.

“Weren’t you recording some lines a few days ago?“ I frown as I try to recall if what I’m referring to actually happened or my brain is too fried to decipher reality from my bootleg perception of it. Online class, man - messes with your head like sleeping pills - makes you disoriented and exhausted with barely doing anything other than trying to wrap your brain around a lecture or two.

He hums affirmatively, “It’s not a finished project and I don’t even know if I’ll use those or rerecord them. I’ll have to listen to them again before I make a final decision.“

I tilt his chin upwards with my pointer finger, a gesture he has told me he finds very endearing, “I’m sure they’re great and you just refuse to be satisfied. Everything you do is great.“

He smiles a small, shy smile, his fingers gently wrapping around my wrist, holding my hand in place, “You’re biased. You like me too much to tell me when I do some bullshit.”

I scoff, “You know that isn’t true. If someone’s gonna kick your butt in formation, it’s gonna be me.“ I give him a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away from him, “Go on, now. I have a class to attend. You distract me enough while you’re in the other room, I can only imagine how hard it’d be for me to focus if you were right by my side.“

He smirks, bowing a little as he makes his way out of the room, “You flatter me.”

I playfully roll my eyes, getting my headset back on as I tap the last class for the day. We have an assignment due to the start of the class which we’ll have to present if the professor approved of it. We basically had to write a psychoanalysis of a character from any book of our choice. I chose Heathcliff from ‘Wuthering Heights’ which is one of my favorite books of all time. I’m proud of what I wrote and the way I wrote it, but I’ve always barely scraped by with a B in this class, a B+ if I’m lucky, so I’ve never gotten any major credit, even when I put my 110% in the assignments and projects.

Well, color me surprised when the professor calls on me first to read my work, complimenting it on its detailed and specific nature. I get my printed assignment out in front of me and unmute myself.

“I wrote a psychoanalysis on for Heathcliff, a character from Emily Bronte’s novel ‘Wuthering Heights’.“ Just after I say this line, Corpse’s voice booms throughout the whole apartment, no doubt being picked up by my mic. It doesn’t sound like he’s actually talking, he can’t be that loud. I put two and two together when I recognize the lines he’s saying - the ones he recorded a few days ago. They’re coming from his computer speakers. He probably didn’t check the volume before playing back the recording.

I mute myself as quickly as possible, but it’s too late. The voice dies down as Corpse probably turned down the speakers.

My professor, who is already done with this lecture, just annoyedly remarks, her words overdosed with sarcasm: “Read your assignment and you can go back to whatever it is you are watching.”

“Wow, Y/N! Again?! Are you one of those crazy obsessed fans or something? Is Corpse Husband all you watch?“ This bitch is really poking a stick at me, huh? The only crazy obsessed fan here is her, and my friends but they are allowed. Little do all of them know, I am obsessed but not simply over a YouTuber. I’m obsessed with my boyfriend who just happens to be a YouTuber.

“No commentary, please.“ The professor scolds her, “Go on, Y/N.“

I finish reading without any other disturbances. The professor compliments my essay again when I’m done, the small incident at the beginning forgotten already. Well, not by everyone. One of my friends shot me a quick text to joke about it which only earned an eye roll from me.

My friends don’t know that I’m dating Corpse either. As I said, they are simping HARD over him while I act the most indifferent on the subject. Whenever they ask my opinion on him I either say ‘he’s OK’ or just avoid answering completely. I know saying anything more enthusiastic than that would turn into a snowball rolling down a snowy hill - I’d just keep babbling about how nice, amazing, wonderful and a gift to this world Corpse is, inevitably revealing our relationship in the process.

I’m afraid of revealing my relationship with Corpse in front of these people. They are all run on jealousy and selfishness and I can only imagine how mean they’d be about it. I’m already not too fond of them, it would only be worse if any of my personal life was exposed.

When the class finally ends I remove my headset, putting my forehead down on the desk, barely missing the keyboard. I groan in frustration and anger at myself for not fighting back. I could’ve and should’ve said something - ANYTHING. But what? That’s a question I can’t find the answer to.

“Hey...“ Corpse’s hesitant voice comes from behind me, “You ok?“

I straighten my posture, turning to him with a smile. “Yeah, but these people suck.”

I get up from my chair as he approaches me, basically falling in his arms. The comfort I feel radiating off of him makes me relax, forget the past hour or so. He has always had this effect on me. Like my own personal kryptonite to my anger and anxiety.

“Did I get you in any trouble because of that?“ His voice shows clear concern and guilt. 

I wrap my arms around him tighter, burying my head in his chest. “No, don’t worry about it.“ 

And I really wasn’t in trouble. Not until now that the video is officially posted....

I can call these people dumb all I want but they sure put two and two together awfully fast. They recognized the lines they heard during class as the same ones from his new video that came out almost a week after the incident, aka two days ago. It’s safe to say I haven’t touched my phone or computer since.

“This is all my fault.“

Of all the horrible things I suspected would happen this has to be the worst - Corpse is blaming himself for it. I am prepared to take all the shit these people have to throw at me but seeing Corpse beating himself up over this is killing me. No amount of convincing can change his mind. Nothing I say helps.

“Please, stop doing this to yourself. Non of this is your fault, Corpse.“ I’ve repeated this sentence more than a thousand time these past forty eight hours, each time saying it more and more desperately.

“All of it is my fault, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I hate myself so much.“ Has been his reply single time.

 I can’t watch him be so mean to himself. It’s the most conflicting thing when the person you love most is torturing themselves. It’s easy if it’s someone else doing it, you just kick their ass. But what are you supposed to do when the person you want to protect is the same one you need to protect them from.

Corpse has shut himself away in his recording room these past few hours and though he clearly needs to be alone, he still left the door open just a crack cause he knows I’ll be worried sick otherwise.

While I’m alone in the living room, I’ve finally managed to brace myself and build enough courage to power up my laptop. Last time it was on it was going mad with notifications.

“It’s digital. Only digital. It can’t hurt you too badly if it can’t touch you, right?“ I mumble to myself, already frustrated despite not having yet seen all the horrors that await me.

And horrors there were. Everywhere. Twitter. Instagram. Facebook.

My grades. Some pictures of me no one has ever seen. My school files. People from my class tweeting Corpse to ‘expose’ me for the ‘slut’ or ‘bitch’ I really am. Corpse hasn’t touched social media either and I plan on making sure it stays that way. God only knows how much worse he’ll get if he sees these claims.

And then, like a notification sent straight from hell, an email from my professor.

Practical lectures on Friday. Be here at 9 AM. Don’t forget your mask and gloves.

Good thing I opened my laptop when I did. Friday is tomorrow and I need to prepare for this day. Not only do I need to hit the books but I need to toughen up a bit. I can’t go there looking like I feel - like a mess.

Alright, time to put the brave face on. No more wallowing in it, at least not until tomorrow afternoon.

I make a study plan and hop in the shower. I feel the need to apologize to my hair for washing it so roughly, basically yanking at my strands from frustration that has been suppressed for too long.

I get our of the boiling hot shower, red as a lobster, and change into some clean comfortable clothes and put my ass in study mode. I remove all the scary expectations of the morning to come from my mind and let the information the textbooks has to offer seep into my brain.

                                                            *  *  *

I’m about to head out and, despite my put-together composure, I am a wreck inside. I actually put effort into my appearance, I mean - I even styled my hair. A pretty façade to hide a ruin.

I saw my friends’ texts last night, all three of them ending their friendship with me because they felt betrayed. I haven’t yet decided how to feel about that. Doesn’t matter at the moment, there are more important matters at hand, aka surviving the next three hours.

My college is within ten minutes walking distance from our apartment. That ten minute walk has never been so stressful, not even during exam season. The air feels a little harder to breathe, the path a little shorter to walk. And my moment of reckoning a little too close.

I feel eyes on me the second I start walking through the park of our campus. Sure, I could just be paranoid, but the feeling is too real to be just my imagination in overdrive. I’m glad I have my hair down and a mask on so the redness of my cheeks and neck isn’t on display. That’s a sign of weakness right now.

We have two an hour and a half long classes between which we have a snack break that’s half an hour. I usually enjoy that period but I’m dreading it now. These assholes can only be so mean in the presence of a professor, but during lunch break they can increase that tenfold. 

“Well if it isn’t Corpse’s girl.“ I hear that a lot. The whispers are not so much whispers as intentionally loud enough for me to hear remarks. I’m not bothered by them, it’s the least they can do. If I let such a simple thing get to me, I’d be crumbling by the end of first period.

I hear some shuffling behind me and out of the corner of my eye I see, yeah you guessed it, THAT bitch. She’s standing as close to me as she can without violating Covid regulations. A mask is covering her face but the menacing look in her eyes tells me all I need to know about the interaction that’s about to go down.

“I’d ask how much he pays you for the hour.....“ her long nails tap the wooden desk, “but that’d be rude. I bet it’s tough being a maid. Do you just clean or are you a multipurpose lap dog? No offense, I’m genuinely curious.“

“Vy, would you be so kind as to give Y/N some room to breathe?“ The professor asks as he nonchalantly walks in.

Vy rolls her eyes, batting her eyelashes at me, “Talk to you later, sweetheart.” With a fake friendly wave she’s out of my hair, at least for now.

Remember what I said about these people not being as dumb as I pegged them to be? Yeah, scratch that. These fuckers actually tried getting away with taking pictures of me with flash in broad daylight. Like, HELLO! I have two functioning eyes and a brain, I’m onto you. Sadly, me having figured out their childish but hurtful methods of humiliating me doesn’t change much. They still posted the pics they took, using the most derogatory terms they could find in the English language, always making sure to tag Corpse and me both.

Needless to say, these were the longest three hours of my life.

                                                              *  *  *

Shutting the door to our apartment behind me causes relief of the highest levels. I feel like I’ve locked out all the bad shit I have had to deal with these past twenty four hours. 

I’m tired. I’m fucking exhausted. I feel like a discarded piece of paper. 

And it all starts crumbling. A wall is bound to start slowly falling apart after being hit over and over again, each time feeling the blows with a stronger intensity. 

I slide down the door sitting down on the floor and slowly taking my shoes off. I put my bag beside me and wrap my arms around my knees, hiding my head in the space between them and my chest.

One tear slides down my cheek.

Another follows.

And another, this time accompanied by a choked sob.

A pair of arms wraps around the ball that my body has been shaped into. One of his hands comes up to stroke my hair gently, feeding me the comfort I have been longing for since I left the apartment this morning.

“I saw it. All of it. All the shit they talk about you. All the names they call you. And I’ve never wanted to beat so many people up simultaneously.“ His words make me raise my head from its low position, giving him a knowing look. “I wish I could. I would, but that would land me in jail. Which doesn’t even sound so bad cause I don’t like going out. Only problem is you wouldn’t be with me. I wouldn’t want you to be there with me, don’t get me wrong, I’d never want you to end up in jail. I-...” I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. A quick kiss that says so much but mainly shows the immeasurable gratitude for his support.

Seeing those awful tweets and comments had the complete opposite effect on him. He no longer blames himself but the people who actually deserve the blame - all those jerks from my college.

I pull away, giving him a small smile. “I would never let you go to jail.” 

He smiles back at me, overjoyed that my mood is slowly being lifted, “Come on, I have a nice crowd that would like to meet you.”

I know exactly what he means. Felix, Sean, Rae, Dave, Sykkuno and the rest of his friends. The people I’ve been so shy and afraid to meet since day one. Being shy doesn’t really make sense now, seeing as how they know I exist and that I’m a part of Corpse’s life. 

What do I have to lose?

“Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.“ Corpse’s black avatar runs around my cyan one in the Among Us lobby.

I can’t help but giggle when I unmute my mic, “Hi everyone! It’s so nice to finally meet you.“ They each introduce themselves, expressing how happy they are to be meeting me too.

It’s the first time in what feels like a while that I’m truly having fun. These people are wonderful, each so unique and lovely. They never brought up the scandal nor acted as though they knew about it. I know they did and I am beyond grateful that they never mentioned it or treated me any differently because of it. Also, Corpse was streaming the whole time. I had my phone on his stream, my eyes nervously scanning the chat every now and then. I couldn’t believe it. Corpse’s real fans were just as wonderful as his friends - they were nothing but supportive and happy to have met me.

Now, I can either choose to believe these people were being so nice to me out of sympathy or I can believe they really like me and appreciate me for who I am and not for what happened to me. 

I choose to believe the latter.

And while I’m still getting accustomed to this whole new spotlight, I know I’ll be able to handle it as long as I’m holding Corpse’s hand in the process. All I need is to have him beside me and I’m prepared to tackle anything.

“They love you.“ Corpse tells me once the stream is done and we’ve hopped out of the Discord call, “But I love you more.“

His arms wrap around my waist while mine instinctively find their way around his neck, “I love them, too. But they’re at the number 2 spot.”

He smirks at me, “I wonder who’s at number 1.”

I push up on my toes, putting my lips an inch away from his, “Hmm, I wonder...”

He doesn’t let me finish, silencing my teasing with a sweet, loving kiss.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat

[luvvewan]

promptsssssss!!!

13: “Just listen to the sound of my voice.” 🥺🙏❤️

Thank you for the prompt, @sanerontheinside ! I went full Obi-whump, so I hope you like it.

—

The healer crouched at the edge of the bunk and took Obi-Wan’s bare feet in his hands.

Obi-Wan cried out, trying to pull away from the touch, twisting in the blankets.

“Caht, nah.” The elderly man, Hagit, said softly. He glanced up at Qui-Gon. “Numo.”

Qui-Gon had garnered only a handful of words in the native tongue, but he didn’t need to know what the healer said; he could see it in his eyes. Pity. For Obi-Wan, yes. But also for him? Fear lodged in his throat.

“Evvi, eh. Uh…here. Boy…numo.” Hagit motioned to Obi-Wan’s foot.

“Keep him still, Master Jedi, please.” Evvi, their young interpreter and Hagit’s grand-niece, translated. “He sees the spine in the left heel.”

Qui-Gon suppressed a shudder and turned away, leaning over his insensate student. Obi-Wan’s face was covered in sweat, eyes half-lidded, lips cracked and quivering. His Learner’s braid had plastered itself to Obi-Wan’s pale neck and chest. Qui-Gon smoothed it carefully between his fingers. “You are doing very well, Padawan. Just stay still. I know it’s difficult but you must not move,” he used a gentle voice better suited for younglings, despite the fact Obi-Wan was twenty three years old and a newly senior apprentice.

He watched Obi-Wan try to look at him, but another wave of pain erupted through their connection in the Force, and his eyes rolled back. Qui-Gon absorbed what he could, wanting to take it all, though even the echoes of Obi-Wan’s agony were enough to make him briefly light-headed.

He noticed Hagit was speaking again, a distant noise. Evvi said something back to him, then Qui-Gon heard several small, hesitant steps. A hand touched his arm.

“I’m sorry, Master Jedi. Removal is very painful and delicate. He does not want the spine to break apart while still in the foot. It will release more poison.” Evvi explained. “Can you hold him down?”

Obi-Wan was more powerful than his small frame would suggest. The pain and delirium made him combative, and when Qui-Gon gripped his arms he thrashed and snarled. He had never seen Obi-Wan, obedient and self-possessed Obi-Wan, untethered this way. Fingernails raked down his forearm, tore at his robe sleeves.

Sedation was not possible. The medical supplies were limited anyway. They were lucky to have Hagit, who was old enough to remember when the stone-fish were plentiful, before a plague wiped them out. Now it was exceedingly rare to catch a stone-fish on the shore, due to both its near-extinction and impressive camouflage. Obi-Wan had accompanied some of the village’s children to the water, or really they had accompanied him, starry-eyed at the presence of an offworlder, a Jedi. He had been stepping along a path of craggy rocks leading to the ocean when his foot landed on a stone-fish, its spiny, algae-crusted body hidden amongst the rocks and sand.

The pain had been immediate. The children had run, screaming, for help. By the time Qui-Gon found him, Obi-Wan was screaming too.

Other villagers had come. Among them was Hagit, helped along by Evvi at his elbow, his grey eyes milky and grave. Obi-Wan was administered a general anti-venom there on the beach, already overwhelmed by the agony that radiated from his foot through his entire body.

Evvi had told Qui-Gon the poison was brutal and quick. It was not always fatal, but it triggered something nearly as cruel: most victims were gripped by an unbearable sense of dread, demanding to be killed before the poison could fully take them.

From his admittedly foggy calculations, it had been close to an hour since Obi-Wan was attacked. Qui-Gon’s stomach lurched. He did not look behind him, where he knew Hagit was hovering at the wound site, arthritic hands shaking, preparing to perform a task of great precision.

“Still, Master Jedi. He must be still.”

He brought the Force to bear down on his Padawan while using his own brute strength to pin Obi-Wan’s wrists back onto the bunk. Obi-Wan whimpered and moaned, whipping his head to the side. Tears streamed freely down his face, snot and sweat dripping from his nose.

“Help!” He kicked his legs, trying to free himself from the healer’s grasp.

Hagit made a sharp noise under his breath, likely a swear.

“Obi-Wan, listen to me! We’re trying to help you!” He barked hoarsely, wiping sweat from his own brow before straddling his Padawan and laying over top of him, using his weight to hold him down. Their heads were pressed together and Obi-Wan wept and keened in his ear.

Qui-Gon’s heart found new ways to break. The Force was overrun with panic and hopelessness. Obi-Wan twitched and fought under him, desperate to get freed. Qui-Gon tried to use a sleep suggestion but his Padawan’s aura was clouded, elusive.

And time was draining away. He imagined the spine lodged in Obi-Wan’s tender heel, the poison seeping into his blood and causing more damage. “Just…breathe with me, Padawan, alright? There is no pain, there is the Force.”

“I can’t.” Obi-Wan whimpered.

He turned his head and pressed a kiss to Obi-Wan’s temple. “Leave it to me, then. Trust in me, young one. Whatever else is happening…it doesn’t matter. Just listen to the sound of my voice.”

He knew it was a risk, to appeal to the dutiful instinct in Obi-Wan that very well might be overridden by poison-fueled anxiety. But what else could he do? Hold his delirious student down with every last bit of strength he possessed, and possibly break his bones in the process?

Obi-Wan bucked against him, sniffling and gasping. “It won’t stop it won’t stop oh gods…”

“Shhh,” Qui-Gon smoothed his damp hair. “You are so far away from that, aren’t you? Safe with me. Safe and very tired. Only you and only me, far away.”

Nerveless fingers clutched at him. “M-Make it stop make it stop I can’t—“

“Of course I will. Hold onto me and keep your legs very still. You can do that, I know you can. Put your arms around me and hold on, as tight as you can.” Qui-Gon blinked back the sweat pouring into his eyes, body vibrating with hope and dread as Obi-Wan slowly obeyed. “That’s it. Now I want you to keep the rest of your body very, very still, Padawan. Do you understand?”

Obi-Wan heaved an exhausted sob, but nodded. His arms gripped around Qui-Gon’s back while his legs gradually relaxed on the bunk.

Hagit murmured to himself. Evvi touched Qui-Gon’s leg.

In the stuffy little room, everyone tacitly understood what would happen next.

Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan begin to tense. “Far away,” he continued, as if there had been no interruption. “We can go anywhere, can’t we? We’ve been to so many places together.”

“Nuh, Evvi.”

“Uncle says now, Master Jedi.”

Qui-Gon closed his eyes and released his fear to the Force. “Where do you want to go, Obi-Wan? I remember you enjoying Alderaan, with all the beautiful trees. The people there were so kind, weren’t they?” He did his best not to think of the fragile procedure happening inches away. His muscles shook, ready to react if necessary. He knew once Hagit began removing the spine it could not be halted. “I can’t remember…did we visit in the summer or winter?”

Obi-Wan was holding onto him for dear life, strangled moans catching in his throat.

My brave boy, Qui-Gon thought to himself. The pain was unreal. He couldn’t begin to comprehend what it felt like for Obi-Wan.

“Kill me Master Master oh Force I can’t…”

Qui-Gon squeezed him close. He thought of what Evvi had said--the poor victims who begged for death. He had not thought Obi-Wan would reach that point. But even the Force could not insulate the young man from such all-encompassing agony.

Obi-Wan wept openly against Qui-Gon’s neck. “Master, Qui-Gon...it’s moving..what….what is it doing..?”

“Don’t move,” Qui-Gon warned. “Do you want to go to Alderaan? Or someplace else? Someplace warm?”

They had just finished an extended mission on a frigid planet, yet Obi-Wan shook his head. “N-No deserts.”

Qui-Gon chuckled. Obi-Wan sunburned easily, returning from desert assignments with pink cheeks and ears. “Of course not. No, someplace cool enough to sleep out under the stars. Kodasta, perhaps? Remember how the stars seemed so close, as if we could nearly touch them?”

Obi-Wan clutched at the robe on Qui-Gon’s back. “Y-Yes…ahhh…”

“What was the constellation you saw? I can’t remember. It was quite rare, wasn’t it? I’m never any good at that but you spotted it right away. What was it called?”

“…Th-The El…usive Mage.”

“Oh yes. That was it.”

Obi-Wan moaned into Qui-Gon’s shoulder.

Qui-Gon held him steady. The pain was beyond excruciating and Qui-Gon could only feel the edge of it; Obi-Wan had long since given up any attempts at shielding from him. It was a testament to Obi-Wan’s endurance that he had not passed out.

“Nearly done,” Evvi said.

Thank the Force. “You’re doing so well, Padawan,” Qui-Gon praised him quietly. “Keep right here with me, can you see the Mage? Close your eyes and see if it’s there.”

“M-Master…”

“I know. But we are so far away from that, aren’t we? Among the stars on Kodasta. I see them when I close my eyes. Close your eyes and you’ll see them too. No, no, you can’t twitch like that. Squeeze me instead. That’s better. Now look for the Mage with me. Help me see it.”

“Ugh…” Obi-Wan groaned and panted. “Mmmmph…”

Qui-Gon could not let their progress unravel, not now. “Is it there, towards the left?”

For several strained seconds, Obi-Wan made harsh, pained sounds and struggled for breath. Then, finally: “Y-Yes. You have to…un…ah…unfocus your eyes to see. Look for the hat f-first.”

Qui-Gon smiled, blinking back the tears gathering in his eyes. “Ah, of course.”

“It’s out, Master Jedi.”

“I see it now, Obi-Wan. It’s beautiful.”

His Padawan sagged under him, unconscious.

—

Qui-Gon went to the shore and walked along the rock paths, fingers hooked in his belt. The stone-fish had been immediately killed, its remaining spines safely collected and the rest of it burned by a few of the villagers. Evvi told him some of the men searched the beach until dawn, out of caution.

They had not come across a single other stone-fish. Obi-Wan’s foot had apparently found the only specimen on the entire beach.

But then, Obi-Wan had always been blessed with a particular sort of luck.

He came to the place where Obi-Wan was stung. Specks of blood stained the rocks there. His instinct was to throw them into the ocean.

Instead, Qui-Gon left everything as it was, sea spray misting his cheeks as he turned back towards the village.

—

When he returned to the little cottage, Hagit was sitting at a sun-bleached wooden table in the kitchen. The red-tinged spine, still full of venom, was sealed in a plastibag and held loosely in his liver-spotted hands.

Hagit looked up at Qui-Gon. He was quite old, skin sagging and eyes permanently wet.

“Boy…yes.” Hagit nodded firmly at him.

Qui-Gon found it difficult to swallow. He bowed before the healer. “Graz-ta,” he said. Thank you.

—

Obi-Wan was curled up on the bunk. A heavy blanket was wrapped around him, his bandaged foot sticking out from the bottom. Though he had improved since the day before, his face still looked drained of its color.

Qui-Gon glanced around the quiet, dark room. He noticed Obi-Wan’s clothes and boots tucked under a chair. Evvi had done it, probably, but it was still a familiar sight, reminding him of how Obi-Wan tended to neatly fold his tunics, no matter where they found themselves. His heart tightened; he let it pass. He knew he would feel this way after such a close call. Small, tender things about Obi-Wan were going to strike him at odd times—he knew that, unfortunately, from experience.

Like the way he would hold his braid between his fingers when he slept. Qui-Gon could not recall Feemor or Xanatos ever doing that.

He sat on the bunk beside Obi-Wan and listened to the quaint sounds of life beyond the door. He appreciated the borrowed sense of domesticity that came with staying in family houses: home cooking, careworn sheets, a calmness and mildness in the Force. He wished they could stay here until Obi-Wan fully recovered from his ordeal, but the Council had already sent them their next assignment.

Qui-Gon brushed his fingers against Obi-Wan’s forehead. Glassy grey eyes fluttered open.

“Only a slight fever now,” Qui-Gon told him.

Obi-Wan kept his braid laced between his fingers. He looked swallowed up by the thick weave of the blanket and the night shirt that was several sizes too big. Or was it simply the absence of Jedi trappings that made it more obvious that he was young, human and fragile? “Well,” he croaked, voice ruined from prolonged screaming followed by prolonged silence, “I didn’t die.”

Qui-Gon tried to laugh, but it came out as an awkward huff. He touched Obi-Wan’s cheek. “No. You seem very much alive to me.”

Obi-Wan smiled, his eyes already drifting closed. “I didn’t sense it. The…ah…thing.”

“Neither did I,” Qui-Gon admitted, gazing out the window above Obi-Wan’s head. The villagers had searched the beach, but who could search all of the sea? He began to think of other dangers on other worlds, the unnamed masses of threats that awaited Obi-Wan in his life, on their next mission, even tomorrow. “If we could sense everything, our lives would be much easier.”

“Mmmhmmm. Less interesting?”

“I’m slipping. You’re guessing my lessons before I can give them.”

“Mm, but I can…always sense you, Master.” Obi-Wan mumbled. He would be asleep soon.

Qui-Gon leaned forward until their foreheads touched. “May the Force be with you, my Padawan.”

—

They rarely dreamed together, but that night they did, climbing through constellations in the dark sky, safely above the sea.

[mythiccheroacademia]

— what you fight about (pt.2)

𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟙

𝕙𝕠𝕥 𝕘𝕚𝕣𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕤: 𝕚’𝕞 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕤𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕪.  𝕣𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝕪'𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤. 𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕠 𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕨𝕠 𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕡𝕖𝕕 𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣’𝕤 𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕔𝕜 <𝟛 𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: 𝕥𝕠𝕩𝕚𝕔 𝕓𝕖𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕠𝕣𝕤/𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡𝕤, 𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕤 𝕒𝕥 ℙ𝕋𝕊𝔻, 𝕒𝕟𝕩𝕚𝕖𝕥𝕪, 𝕡𝕖𝕠𝕡𝕝𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕪 𝕞𝕖𝕒𝕟 𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕗𝕗 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪’𝕣𝕖 𝕦𝕡𝕤𝕖𝕥 :/

Tamaki Amajiki:

you love everything about tamaki

all his faults and his strengths

but sometimes…it feels like you’re the only one keeping it together

and to always be the strong one is hard

It had been a difficult two weeks since your last mission.

Perhaps you were naïve to believe you wouldn’t experience a death any time soon. However, you had been bright and hopeful. The hero you worked as a sidekick for rarely got involved in super-high level threats. You dealt with misdemeanors and a few moderate-sized threats.

Maybe you were being stupid. Nevertheless, the tragedy hit you hard. Both physically and mentally.

You were out until you could safely use your quirk again. In the meantime, your fiancé had done all he could to take care of you. But he was worried.

Tamaki couldn’t help but panic. He wanted nothing more than to kiss you better. Honestly, he wanted you back to normal. He just didn’t know how to do it. You were always the strength of the relationship.

He felt so pathetic over his inability to help, spending hours on the phone with Mirio and Neijre crying over the issue. Afterwards, he’d crawl into bed, cheeks wet with tears, and despite your sadness, you’d wrap your arms around him.

You’d comfort him like you always do and it’d make him feel even worse.

You knew he was trying his best and appreciated that. Though, there was a point to which it all got to be too much for you to handle.

Mirio and Neijre came over to help put up some Christmas decorations. You wanted to cancel. Today hadn’t been a good day. However, Amajiki began to worry over your mood again and so you held your thoughts to avoid his tears.

But it seemed like your tears were the ones you should’ve been worried about.

You sat down on a chair and held your head. The world was spinning, and your ears were ringing. Your eyes burned so badly you felt they’d melt out of your head.

“Bunny!?”

“I’m sorry,” you breathed. “I just need a minute.”

“What can I do?” Tamaki rushed to kneel beside you, fear shining in his glossy eyes.

You shook you head balling your fist near your lips to keep in a cry. “I’m fine, baby,” you sniffed, but that was a lie.

Your head was swimming, buzzing, and filled with nothing but noise. No matter how hard you tried to make it go away, you just couldn’t. You couldn’t deal with that or—

“I-I’ll take care of you. Just p-please tell me what to do!” he begged. You could feel his anxiety seeping into your body and it nearly sent you over the edge.

“Tama, please.”

“I can—I can do something. Anything. Anything you want. An-and—"

All you could think about was how you failed the mission, the girl, her parents, your team, your friends, the public, and—

“Amajiki.”

“B-bunny, I know I haven’t been a good fiancé l-lately, but I-I promise I’ll—"

“AMAJIKI!”

Tamaki jumped, eyes wide and body frozen as he took in the near panic in your eyes.

“I CAN’T—” your voice was shrill before you hiccupped, choking back a sob. You squeezed the air by your head, hoping to ground yourself to something that wasn’t there.

“I just can’t deal with you right now, okay? I-I’m sorry,” you whispered.

Your breaths left in puffs as you silently watched his mind work to process your words, and when it did, you saw his heart visibly break.

He grabbed his hand to cradle it into his chest like it was wounded. When he spoke, it was barely a whisper, not even a decibel above faint.

“N-no, it’s…I—I’ll give you some space.”

He tried to offer a brave smile, but it wobbled too much to do anything. The tears that ran down his cheeks seemed to suffocate him, and Tamaki couldn’t bite back his cry in time before he quickly left the room. Mirio worriedly gazed at you before running after his friend.

Your eyes remained transfixed on the space where your fiancé once stood. It wasn’t until moments later, when you felt Neijre’s comforting hands around your torso, that you doubled over and wept.

Togata Mirio:

he’s optimistic

too optimistic sometimes

you love the light he brings into your life

but it’s at the cost of him dismissing your feelings and worries

You checked the backseat when the car stopped at the red light to ensure your sleeping son was still there.  

“Two minutes and 20 seconds. That’s a new record babe,” Mirio chuckled.

“Very funny.” You threw an unimpressed glare at your husband before turning back into your seat. “But can you blame me? After the heart attack I had this morning, I wanna chain him to my chest and never let go.”

The blonde hero hummed thoughtfully. “That’s only slightly psychotic.”

“Mirio.”

“I’m kidding!”

You huffed and looked away. You were a bit annoyed over the nonchalance your husband seemed to have over what occurred today.

Your son had presented with a quirk and, to your horror, it was similar to Mirio’s—if not even more dangerous. When you came back to find your baby fading away before sinking into the ground, you screamed like murder.

Mirio had never phased into a room so quickly in his life.

After getting both you and your kid (mostly you) to calm down, you went straight to the hospital to make sure everything was still intact. They gave you some quirk inhibiting medication for your kid, a quick pep talk, and you were on your way back home.

The hectic morning made your son knock out as soon as he hit the car seat. You wanted to follow suit but were too paranoid to do so. In fact, you wanted to hold him—just in case. But Mirio insisted the medication would hold him until you got home. Then he cracked a joke about your kid turning into tumble weed and laughed like it was the funniest thing he ever said.

And he kept making jokes. Like this was funny.

Forget annoyed. It was pissing you off.

Mirio peeked a quick glance over your stiff figure. A small grin graced his lips, and he placed a comforting hand on your thigh.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I know you’re scared. I’ll chill with the jokes. Just promise not to blow a gasket on me, will ya?” he smiled.

You averted your eyes away from the moving tress to look at him well. “You could take this a little more seriously, you know?” you said.

“I assure you, I am 100% serious.”

He couldn’t even say that with a straight face. You rolled your eyes, groaning into your head tilt.

“Ooou you get on my nerves—”

“Sunshine, it’ll be fineee,” he happily assured. “It’ll just take some practice before [S/N] gets control of it.”

“[S/N] literally turns invisible before he permeates through surfaces. That’s so scary. I can’t do anything for him unless you're there and even then, that might not always work out. We need to figure something out.”

“His quirk is really not too far from mine. And you remember all the funny things that happened when I was a kid.”

You incredulously looked at him. “Yeah, all the funny near death experiences!”

“And I turned out fine!” Mirio laughed.

You wanted to rip your hair out. There was literally no getting through to him.

“Forget it. I don’t even know why I bother.” You scooted away from his hand, crossing your arms in frustration. “It’s not like you take my feelings seriously anyways.”

That last part was meant for your own ears, however Mirio heard them loud and clear. He turned into the neighborhood, brows subtly scrunching together.

“Now that’s not true. I care about that a lot actually.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

Well that was not the answer he expected.

There were a couple minutes of uncomfortable silence before the car reached your garage and was turned off. You two looked forwards for a moment before someone spoke.

“I feel like we should talk about this,” Mirio slowly said, turning to watch for your reaction.

You gave him a glare that caused him to goofily purse his lips. You then got out of the car and went to go unstrap your son so you could hold him until the events of the morning faded from your mind.

As a last resort to make you smile, Mirio permeated his torso through his seat to give you the cheesiest grin.

“I love you, honey bunny~” he sung.

To which he earned a car door slammed in his face.

Dabi:

he’s selfish

you know it and he does too

yet you still stay around because you love him

but it seems like he couldn’t care less about whether or not you do

You impassively sat on the couch of your small apartment. Your hands were folded across your chest, teeth chattering against the raw skin underneath your nail bed. For a minute straight, your knee bounced in place before you stood up and took to pacing in order to release the energy bubbling in your chest.

It felt like hours before your apartment door opened.

Dabi threw his keys onto the closest surface and shrugged off his heavy jacket. You didn’t realize you’d moved before you took the jacket to hang on the wall.

“It’s cold as shit out there,” he shivered.

“Yeah, there’s supposed to be a blizzard sometime soon,” you replied, yet it sounded distant. However, Dabi didn’t seem to notice.

“Can’t wait,” he huffed. A mischievous glint grew in his eyes as he pulled you into his chest by your waist. Usually that would’ve made your thighs tense with anticipation. But all you could do was stand there like dead weight—and again, he didn’t notice. Did he ever? “But I guess it won’t be too bad if I have you to keep me warm, hm?” he smirked.

You stood stiff as he kissed your lips and tears burned your eyes as he moved to your neck, hands affectionately squeezing your hips. The bubbles in your chest rumbled and popped like angry bees when you realized he hadn’t noticed. He never noticed it. He never noticed anything about you. Just like he hadn’t noticed—

“Dabi, what day is it?”

His lips continued to pepper your skin with licks and nips, mindlessly working to find your sweet spot again. “Mmm…Thursday, sweetheart.”

“I’m being serious.”

“I am too.” Dabi looked up and met your stone cold face that looked angrier by the second. He quirked a brow. “What’s up with you?”

“It’s our one year anniversary, you asshole.”

You pushed him away, stomping towards your room. However, Dabi grabbed your arm, pulling you back into the conversation. But instead of hearing an apology, you received an inattentive eyeroll.

“Don’t be like that, doll-face. It’s really not that deep.”

“Excuse me?” you spat. “You said the same thing ever since our 6 month and I let it go, but now you wanna act like this isn’t a big deal? You know how much this means to me.”

“And you know that’s not my style. I don’t care about shit like that.”

“Well I do.” You moved out of his grasp and put distance between yourselves to help you think.

Dabi ran a hand through his hair, stress in his movements. “Are we really gonna do this right now, Y/N?”

“Yes! Because you don’t get it!”

Fed up with the argument already, Dabi threw his hands in the air, letting his frustration carry the words through his lips. It had been an awful day, his staples were aching from the weather, and this was making everything worse.  

“I already missed the damn thing, what do you want me to do!? You want me to say I’ll make up for it?”

“I want you to care, Dabi!” you desperately exclaimed. “I want you to care about me, about this relationship. Damn it, I want you to care about anything else besides what’s in my pants for once in your life—”

“Well that’s all I wanted until you started asking for more shit and I gave you that. What more do you want from me?” he sneered.

There was a silent pause between you two. You blankly stared at the man you’d come to love despite the hell he put you through. When you observed the honest irritation in his eyes, everything became clear. It was in that moment you realized it wasn’t that he never noticed. It was that he didn’t care. He never did.

That’s when you felt the deep ache of heartbreak nestle between your lungs.

“What more do I want from you,” you repeated, tasting the words. You numbly laughed and nodded your head, silently accepting his truth.

There were no tears, just bitter emptiness.

“Well, uh…you don’t have to worry about that anymore. You won’t be roped into another anniversary with me again.”

It was a moment too late when your soft whisper broke through the angry storm that clouded Dabi’s head. His face sunk with the exhaustion of a man well beyond his years.  

“Y/N, baby, can we just talk about this—"

“Leave the spare key on your way out.”

And before he could utter another word, you shut your bedroom door like it was never to be opened again.

[poisonedapples]

Patton’s Home for Traumatized Kids - Chapter 2

Craft Projects and Failed Bonding

Chapter Summary: Roman plots against Patton in a way he thinks is threatening.

Previous Chapter Story Masterlist

Chapter Warnings: Panic, anxiety, implied past abuse, food mentions, and anxiety over being watched by cameras.

Word Count: 4,533

Taglist: @shade-romeo, @grayson-22

Notes: Thanks to cornybird on Ao3 for helping me beta this one!

“Virgil, wake up, it’s time for breakfast!”

Roman cracked open his eyes to stare at the door. His security bar was still under the doorknob, and it sounded like Patton walked away to knock on the next kid's door, so Roman slowly lifted himself out of Virgil’s bed once the coast was clear. He hadn’t been asleep for the last two hours, so there was no point to continue lying down and risk Patton trying to get into the room to wake him up. So Roman rubbed his tired eyes to undo the security bar and put it in his backpack.

Though, speaking of his backpack…he had no idea where to put it. It wasn’t safe in Virgil’s room, but Virgil was still sleeping in Roman’s bedroom. He could take it downstairs with him, but that’s a strange thing to do during breakfast, and he didn’t want that to be the conversation opener of the day. Especially if they asked him what was inside. They weren’t allowed to know that.

Eventually, Roman settled on hiding the backpack underneath Virgil’s bed. It wasn’t the best hiding spot, but it’d work until Roman could come back and take it. He opened the door and headed downstairs, praying that he wouldn’t be the first kid to arrive.

The prayer wasn’t enough, because Roman looked around the kitchen and only saw Patton at the stove. Patton looked over at him and seemed confused, trying to hide it behind a chipper smile. “Morning, kiddo! How’d you get dressed so fast? I only knocked on your door a second ago!”

Don’t let him find out you weren’t in your room. “Oh, these are my pajamas, I haven’t gotten dressed yet. And I was already awake, so I just came right downstairs.”

Patton looked Roman up and down, and Roman shivered. “…Do you not have real pajamas, kiddo?”

“No. I like sweatpants better.”

Patton didn’t seem pleased, but he didn’t question it further. Roman sat down at the table and anxiously drummed his fingers while he waited. Eventually, Logan came downstairs fully dressed with his hair brushed, and Virgil followed not long after. His hair was a mess, and his pajamas were twisted like he just fell out of bed and rolled down the stairs to make it in time. 

Patton took one look at him and almost gasped. “Virgil, did you sleep last night? You look…a bit rough, to put it lightly.”

Virgil grunted. “I had to clean.”

Patton sighed. “Kiddo, save cleaning for the morning, okay?”

Virgil shrugged, groggily making his way to the coffee machine to try and steal some Patton already made for himself. “Virgil,” Patton chastised, “No coffee. You can go back to sleep after breakfast if you want, but you’re too young for coffee.”

Logan raised his hand. “May I have some?”

“No.”

“Darn.”

“What kinda drink do you want, Roman?” Patton asked. “And don’t say coffee.”

Coffee sounded really nice, actually, but there was no use arguing. “I’ll take milk, then.”

Patton finished emptying the contents of his pan onto some plates before grabbing three cups from the cupboard and filling them up. Two had milk while one had orange juice, and he passed them to each seat at the table. He then passed everybody their plates, with scrambled eggs and a bagel with cream cheese. Roman took his fork and tasted a bite of the eggs.

Holy fuck, Roman hadn’t had something that tasty since his grandma last cooked for him. The eggs were so soft and cheesy, and Roman could barely contain his excitement for it. He put as many eggs as he could fit onto his fork and stuffed it all in his mouth.

Patton laughed when he noticed Roman’s reaction. “Taste good, kiddo?”

Roman hummed, and Patton smiled. “Good! I learned how to make them from my roommate in college, and I haven’t looked back since!”

Roman hoped that roommate taught him how to make a lot more things then, because this was heavenly. He’d finished his entire plate of eggs so fast it was concerning, forgetting all ability to savor his food. Maybe Roman could find the recipe and steal it when Patton wasn’t looking.

Until then, Roman moved on to eating his bagel while everyone else wasn’t even close to finishing breakfast. He guessed that was a good thing. If he finished before everyone else, he could run to Virgil’s room and grab his backpack without anyone noticing. Roman chewed faster at the possibility.

Once again, the table went very silent as everyone ate and Roman tried to make a swift escape. Patton was the one to break the silence this time. “So, Roman,” he said, “How about you and I go to the store today?”

Roman froze. “…Why?”

“I’m sure there’s some stuff you need. School starts again in two days, so we need to get you some school supplies, and maybe we can get some stuff to decorate your room with too!”

“Wait, school starts in two days? I thought it started in two weeks!”

Patton seemed apologetic. “In this district, the first day is this Wednesday. Usually I’d let you stay at home a little longer to get comfortable before school, but I think it’d be easier for you to start the first day when you have the chance. Besides, I don’t feel comfortable leaving you home alone for another week.”

You should leave me here alone, Roman thought. He was a little disappointed he had to go to school sooner than usual, but school was also the best excuse to leave home early and come back late. If he could get involved again in theater, he could hide out and blame his late return times on rehearsals. So maybe it was a blessing in disguise.

Patton interrupted Roman’s internal scheming. “Do you know what kinda supplies you might need, kiddo?”

Roman twirled his cup in his hand and watched the milk spin. “Binders, pencils, folders, notebooks…I only have a backpack, really.”

“We definitely need to stop by the store then! And while we’re there, we can look at all the bedroom stuff too!”

Everything in Roman made him want to decline, to tell Patton to buy him whatever and he’ll make do with what he has. His heart started to pound again, his hand gripping hard on his cup and thinking about his escape options. Then it dawned on him.

They would be going to a store. A store, full of cashiers and moms with kids and plenty of parents who might also need school supplies. If there was anywhere he could be safe while alone with Patton, it was there. And maybe if he agreed, Patton would leave him alone for a while…

“…We can go.” Roman said. Patton’s grin widened and his eyes lit up.

“Great! So, just get ready once you finish breakfast, and we can head out! Logan, you’ll be in charge while Virgil takes a nap.”

Logan nodded, and Virgil almost fell asleep on top of his plate.

Eventually, everyone finished breakfast and put their dishes away, Virgil dragging himself back upstairs and falling into bed without even closing his door. Roman carefully entered his bedroom, darting his eyes between where he hid his backpack and where Virgil was lying.

“What.” Virgil snapped, mumbling it into his pillow. Roman stopped in his tracks.

“I only need to grab my bag, then I’ll leave you alone.”

“Fuggin’ take it.” Virgil snapped.

Roman grabbed his backpack and scurried out of there, closing the door behind him. It uneased Roman to try to sleep with the door open, so he assumed someone as secluded as Virgil might be the same. It was a little way to show his gratitude for last night.

Roman walked back to his own bedroom after grabbing his backpack. However, once Roman opened the door, he finally understood what Virgil meant by “cleaning”.

The mess Roman made last night was completely gone. The bed was made, the hangers were placed back in the closet, the lightbulb was back in the lamp and the nightstand had been set back up. It was almost like last night was a bad dream that never happened, Roman’s only evidence that it had being the fact that he woke up in Virgil’s room that morning. He looked around the room again to process the change, when he noticed a piece of paper on the nightstand.

Roman picked up the piece of paper and unraveled it.

There’s no cameras in here, I checked. I also fixed your mental breakdown for you. You owe me one.

Virgil

Roman looked around the room, holding the paper tight to his chest as he examined every corner. There wasn’t a single camera in here? Not one? No, no that wasn’t possible. The camera was around here somewhere. Roman knew it.

He looked around again, three times, looking under objects and in the closet, feeling the pit in his stomach grow when all his searches came back futile. He knew it was here somewhere, and he refused to let Patton win. Roman would find it.

He’d just…have to find some other place to sleep until then.

Roman shook his head as a way to erase his thoughts. He could worry about the camera later, but for now, he needed to please Patton’s attempt at getting to know him and get out of this cursed room. Roman still wrapped a blanket around himself as he got dressed, not quite able to shake his anxiety long enough to not take precautions. He changed from his pajamas to a red shirt and baggy jeans, and ran out to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Camera or not, he’d have to find a way to pay Virgil back.

***

“Roman, what’s your favorite color?”

Roman snapped out of his distant stare to look at Patton. He was looking at a display of school binders, pausing for a moment to glance at Roman and wait for an answer. The stare was so much for Roman to process that he took a step back. “Uh…red.”

“Perfect! They’ve got lots of reds!” Patton grabbed a red binder before stopping himself with a thinking expression on his face. “Though, wait, let me check the supplies website…I don’t wanna get a wrong size, or only get one when you need multiple…”

Roman went back to staring at the floor under him. He shouldn’t have agreed to this. It seemed like a great idea at first, but now Roman was here holding himself tight and trying not to cry, feeling the exhaustion set in while his anxiety made him restless. He wanted to go home and sleep, but there was nowhere to sleep. Nowhere to hide.

He’d have to search the house for hiding spots later.

“So,” Patton eventually said, “It doesn’t say exactly, so I’ll just grab a zipper binder and one two inch just in case. If you need more, I can always stop by again and buy some. What’s your second favorite color?”

Roman swallowed to fight back the tears. “Purple.”

Patton smiled. “That’s Virgil’s favorite color! So, one red zipper binder and a purple two inch. So let’s look at the pencil cases now!” Patton caught a glimpse of Roman’s pale face and his smile dropped. “…Are you okay, kiddo?”

Roman nodded. He didn’t trust himself to talk, but it seemed like Patton didn’t trust his answer. He took a step toward Roman, and Roman took two steps back. Patton frowned. “Are you sure?”

Roman nodded again. Patton ran a hand through his hair and looked around the store. Please, let’s just get this over with already.

Patton’s head stopped as his eye caught sight of a specific aisle, and he smiled in Roman’s direction. “Say, kiddo, how about you go check out the fish? I’ll be over here getting the boring stuff if you need me!”

Roman glanced at Patton’s eyes. They were soft and forgiving, but all Roman could feel when looking at them was fear. He took this as his moment, spinning around on his heel and almost sprinting toward the fish aisle. Anywhere was better than being near Patton.

Roman looked at the walls of fish tanks with fish of all kinds of colors, watching them swim around as the filter’s bubbles reached the roof. There were some that were swimming around each other, and others that stopped in place for long periods of time. Roman held himself and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

It was more peaceful away from Patton, at least. Roman felt a little less sick and his hands weren’t shaking as badly, focusing on the fish to calm himself down. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it worked. That’s all Roman could really ask for.

He watched the fish swim around and read their species facts for a while, until he couldn’t feel tears in his eyes anymore and the nausea was tamed. Roman walked through the aisle to look at the fish tank decorations and other pet toys. He picked up a chew toy for a dog and squeaked it, awkwardly messing with the toys and trying to keep Patton in his peripheral vision. It felt odd to be standing around in a pet aisle with no plans of buying anything.

Well, Roman thought, Patton never told me I had to stay in this aisle. It was only a suggestion. I could move on to another part of the store.

Roman looked at where Patton was one more time so he could remember his spot. It seemed like he was checking the supply list on his phone and thinking hard about colored pencils, and Roman hoped he would be occupied with that for a while more. He walked out of the aisle and looked above him for ideas on where he should go next.

Bathroom, no. The bakery would be wonderful if I could buy a donut myself. Clothes, baby items, plants…wait! Roman’s eyes lit up as he read another one of the signs. Hardware!

Roman always loved searching through hardware. He was a craft person at heart, and the aisles always gave him ideas for new things to try and make. Besides, Patton told him they were going to look for decorations for his room, maybe he could get inspiration there!

Roman entered the hardware aisle and began to look around. Because this wasn’t a hardware store there wasn’t much, mostly small items like door hinges and hook sets. There was also a doorknob you could only open with a code that Roman wanted, but there was no way Patton would let him install that. But maybe he could find something else to make his room safer.

Roman passed some other items, including some lightbulbs and a security camera displaying the screen that made Roman shiver when he passed by, but eventually Roman saw it. Ideas swarmed in his head and a big grin bloomed onto his face. It was perfect!

“There you are, kiddo!” Roman jumped at the sound of Patton approaching, looking up to see him with a basket full of school supplies. Patton smiled to hide the worry in his eyes. “I noticed you left the other aisle and I didn’t know where to find you.”

Roman gripped harder onto the box he was holding. “Sorry, I got bored…but I found something I want for my room!”

“You did? What is it, kiddo?”

Roman held up the box to Patton. Patton raised an eyebrow at him. “…Curtain rods?”

“Yes! Sounds strange, I know, but I was thinking that I could make my own canopy bed with them! We could get some curtains and I could hang them up around the bed, and I could decorate the curtains to look beautiful! Please?”

Patton rubbed at the back of his neck. “I don’t know, kiddo…it sounds like a cool project! But you’d have to install them into the roof, and I’m not very good with a drill!”

“I can do it!” Roman begged, “I’ve installed lots of home stuff before, and I’m really good with tools! And if I mess up I promise I’ll fix any holes, or I’ll do some babysitting jobs to pay back anything that’s broken, just…please? Can I try?”

Patton seemed conflicted. He saw the desperate look in Roman’s eyes and sighed. “…You can try, kiddo. Just…don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work, okay?”

“I won’t be! Promise!” Roman grabbed three boxes of the largest curtain rods they had and tried to hold them under his arms. “Now, I just need some red curtains, and maybe some glittery star stickers, or some other craft supplies! And a hot glue gun, you can make beautiful raindrop decorations out of hot glue!”

Patton seemed like his head was spinning. “I’ll go get an actual cart for this, kiddo.”

And then, the hunt for supplies was on. Patton got a cart for Roman to pile the curtain rods on the bottom, failing to keep up with him as he ran from aisle to aisle searching for supplies for his ideas. All the curtains were too transparent for Roman’s liking, so he instead settled for a pack of red, flat sheets meant for a queen bed and a small pack of sewing supplies. Patton mentioned he had a glue gun at home, so Roman skipped that section of the crafts aisle and instead focused on some birthday decorations with crowns and stars as well as some stickers. The more Roman’s vision came into action, the more excited and bouncy he got.

With the opaque curtains, Roman thought, it doesn’t matter if he has a camera in my room or not. He won’t be able to see me sleep. And how cute, he won’t realize his mistake in letting me do this until it’s too late.

Roman was jumping on his heels at the thought. I’m a genius.

The checkout was long and the car ride was full of anticipation, but once Patton pulled into the driveway of the house, Roman opened the trunk and ran inside with all his items in tow. He didn’t even say hello as he ran past Virgil and Logan on the couch to head upstairs.

“Kiddo, do you want to organize supplies too?” Patton yelled once he entered the house.

“I will later!” Roman answered. He had work to do.

The first step was an experiment of patience. Roman took out all the flat sheets and folded them at the top, sewing the fold with a needle and red thread to make its own custom loop for the curtain rod. It was annoying and tedious, but necessary. Also a test on Roman’s skill of how fast he could hand sew.

He was almost done with the last sheet when a knock came to his door. “Who is it?” Roman asked.

“It’s lunch time, kiddo,” Patton answered, “I called you down a while ago. How about you take a break for some food?”

No. There was no time for breaks. Roman needed this to be done by tonight so he could finally get some sleep. “In a minute.”

“Roman, it’s been a while already. A little break won’t hurt.”

“I will in a minute!” It was a lie, but Roman had the door locked, so there was nothing Patton could do about it. Roman finished his final seam, so now it was onto installing the rods.

Roman was measuring where to put the hooks on the roof when another knock came to the door. Roman groaned like a spoiled brat. “I’m coming!”

“Roman, can you open the door?”

Roman froze. He just yelled at Patton, pushed his luck, now he had to open the door. Roman dropped the screw he was holding as his hands shaked. Shit, shit! “…Why?”

“I’ve got your lunch for you.”

Roman felt his throat close, but ignoring Patton would only make the situation worse. Roman dropped his hook and screws to open the door.

Patton was on the other side, smiling softly with a burrito on a plate and a glass of juice in his hands. “I had to reheat it, but maybe you can eat while you’re working.”

Roman dug his nails into his palm before taking the plate. “Thank you.”

“Can I come in?”

No. No, you can’t. You never can, ever. “…Sure.”

Roman scurried away from Patton to sit on his bed, drinking some of the juice and looking at what’s inside the burrito. Black beans, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, sour cream, onions, and green peppers. Roman took a bite and tried to calm himself by focusing on the taste.

“You like it?”

Roman nodded. “Never had this before.”

“It’s a black bean burrito. I found the recipe a few years ago, and I make them pretty often. Especially for growing kiddos.” Patton sat on the floor next to the mess Roman had laid out. “What are you doing now for your canopy bed?”

“I was gonna screw in the curtain hooks to the roof. I’ve just been sewing the sheets for now, which is the hardest part. I might have to sew them again though, since the sheets are so big I might have to cut them. Especially since I want to do two curtains on each end to make it look pretty.”

“Sounds cool! Do you need any help?”

Roman seemed to be thinking. Maybe if I satisfy him, he won’t be angry. “Do you know how to sew?”

“I know how to repair tears. That’s it.”

Roman took another bite of his burrito and jumped off the bed, picking up one of the sheets to examine the size. He jumped on his bed and held it up to the roof, seeing how far it would stretch. The sheet was much longer than his bed, so it would be perfect. “Take the sheets, measure them, and cut them in half right down the middle. Then I can show you how to do a catch stitch to hem the seam. That will save me some time.”

“You’re very good at hand stuff!” Patton complimented. A shiver went up Roman’s spine.

“…Yes.”

From then on, the environment was very tense. The only sound between either of them was the  drill going through the roof and the sound of scissors cutting. When Patton finished cutting, Roman showed him how to hem the seam, but it was quiet again after that. Roman kept his distance and made sure his front was always facing Patton just in case.

“I hope you don’t mind if this is a very messy sewing job, kiddo.” Patton joked.

Roman shrugged. “You won’t be able to see it anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Are you gonna decorate the sheets once you’ve hung them up?”

“Yes, it’s easier that way. And I can plan it out.”

“Any reason why you chose crowns and stars?”

Roman paused long enough to drill another hook into the roof before setting the drill down to grab another hook. “I like crowns. And stars.”

“Logan loves stars.” Patton really hated silence, apparently. “I don’t know if the other kiddos showed you their rooms, but Logan’s is covered in space stuff. It was really fun to do, actually! Though, I made Logan paint the stars onto his own wall because he kept talking about how it should be accurate constellations, and I don’t know anything about stuff like that.”

“I’ve only seen Virgil’s room.”

“Oh, well, if Logan ever invites you in, know that he did lots of work for his constellation wall!”

Roman hummed and drilled the last hook into the roof. He took a curtain rod and placed it on the two hooks near the foot of his bed. “How many of the sheets have you finished?”

“Oh, I’m still on the first one. I’m learning though!”

Roman jumped off the bed to sit on the floor next to Patton, grabbing his own needle and thread to begin hemming the seam. Once he started sewing, Patton watched him with wide eyes. “You’re doing that very fast, kiddo!”

Roman shrugged. “I’ve done it a lot.”

“What do you usually sew for?”

“Clothes. To fix rips, mostly. My mom also taught me when I was younger.”

Patton seemed taken aback by his explanation. “Did…did you enjoy that time with your mom?”

“I enjoyed all my time with her.” Roman paused. “Well. Most times.”

Patton swallowed. “Most times?”

“Her and I were really close, if that’s what you're asking.” Roman’s hands sped up as he sewed. “She would take me to movies and theaters, and she taught me how to bake as good as her.”

Patton’s voice grew serious. “Well…I’m sorry for your loss, kiddo.”

“She’s not dead.”

“I’m still sorry you lost her.” Patton shook his head and focused more intently on his sewing. “But you said you can bake?”

Roman nodded. “I bake a lot, especially cake. I know how to make red velvet cake from scratch and it is lovely.”

“We should make some tomorrow, then!”

Roman tensed. “Maybe.”

Roman finished off the hem of his side and moved to cut another sheet, hemming both of their sides once he did so. The rest of the time was quiet, with Roman purposely refusing to spark conversation and Patton processing the little information Roman gave him. By the time Patton finished one end and half of another, Roman had finished all the rest and took Patton’s to quickly finish off. Roman laid them all across the floor and opened the packs of crafts he got.

“Well, kiddo, I gotta see about making dinner now.” Patton eventually said, “Tell me how the end project turns out, ‘kay?”

Roman nodded. Finally, he’s leaving. “Close the door when you leave.”

Patton smiled and closed the door on his way out. Roman focused entirely on decorating his new curtains, placing glittery stars and plastic crowns and using the hot glue gun to make crystals draping down the curtains. He repeated a similar pattern for each one, eventually hanging two on each side of the bed so they could open and close down the middle. Once the final project was finished, and the floor of his room was scattered in materials, Roman smiled wide in awe.

“Yes! I did it! I did it!” Roman jumped up and down from excitement, flopping onto his bed and closing the curtains from every side. The curtains were a bit too long and dragged too much along the floor, but he could fix that another day. For now, he’d been at it for hours, and his bed was finally a safe space.

Roman buried his face into his pillow, feeling himself relax as the exhaustion of a whole day with no sleep and debilitating anxiety finally caught up to him. He groggily checked for any cameras on the roof, but that was the only place he had to check for a camera that could see him. He was safe.

 Roman crawled under the comforter and closed his eyes. It wasn’t more than five minutes of lying there before he fell asleep, curling into himself and relaxing. Finally, he slept peacefully.

 Finally.

[xtodorcki]

“Pain,” Levi x Reader

Summary: a love story that ends tragically

Soft boyfriend Levi🤧🥺

Warnings: angssssst, like PAIN pain.

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One mistake.

One mistake was all it took.

You didn’t think the plan through enough, you didn’t slice the blade hard enough, you didn’t do anything good enough.

Levi had woken up to soft kisses being planted on his face, him wanting to sleep in weighed heavily on his body while you grew too impatient for him to wake up on his own. Your fingertips danced around his bare chest, your chin resting on the palm of your hand as you admired him.

“C’mon, it’s already ten in the morning, that’s a little too long for Levi.” You teased, running your hand up his chest and grabbed a hold on his chin before you planted another kiss on his lips then another then another until he grabbed the back of your head and kept you in place as his lips danced with yours.

You pulled back, breathless, and he smirked up at you before he had rolled over on top of you. He had you trapped on the mattress and you instantly gulped, looking up at his sleepy eyes while his hair hung down over your face, his bare chest inches away from yours and your cheeks grew hot.

Levi had chuckled at your nervous state, laying his body on yours and rested his head on top of your chest, cuddling into you like a baby and you slipped your arms around him, rubbing your hand up and down the skin on his back, earning a low hum from him in response.

“The mission is tonight... right?” You brought up, making him groan before answering in a low tone.

“No need to remind me but yes.” Levi wanted to enjoy this moment with you, they were rare to have them and he didn’t want to ruin it in anyway, neither did you.

Another mission had to be done tonight and you really didn’t want to go but it obviously had to be done, it was too important to pass up and that made your nerves increase as you tried to cuddle your boyfriend closer to you.

Your arms gripped onto him tighter, your fingers tangling up in his messy hair and your legs hooking around his hips, making Levi move his head to look up at the side of your face, nudging his nose against your cheek.

“What’s the matter?” He said barely above a whisper, one of his hands on your waist and he gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“I just have a bad feeling about tonight. A hunch.” You felt stupid once you said it out loud, a hunch wasn’t a reliable source to go off of but you couldn’t help the overwhelming anxiety clouding your head.

“A hunch? Why’s that?”

“I just do, Lev.” You shook your head, trying to brush it off and wanting to long forget about it.

Levi fully moved his head to look down at your fear filled eyes, tilting his head and he reached up to brush your hair back, not knowing what to say but he tried his best to comfort you gently.

He planted a gentle kiss to your forehead, letting it linger there for a few seconds and pulled back to meet your gaze again, grabbing a hold on your chin with his hand.

“You’re overthinking it, Y/N. Everything will be alright and we’ll be back tomorrow morning and we’ll celebrate.” He smirked, running his tongue over his lips before placing one last kiss to your mouth before slipping out of bed.

You had whined at the loss contact when he got up, watching his bare back before he slipped on his white button up, his muscles flexing slightly as he pushed it on his shoulders and turned towards you while buttoning it up.

“Get your ass up, come on.”

-

Hours had went by faster than what you would like, you and Levi had stayed in your bedroom for most of the day until it grew closer to the time where the scouts had to leave.

You had shoved on your uniform, putting your hair up in a messy bun and zipped up your boots before you walked down the hallway to the room where all the scouts stood in, ready to be given orders by the Commander himself.

“We all know what the plan is, do what is needed to be done so we can hurry home.” Erwin simply said, not wanting to waste any time to start the expedition.

You had gathered up your horse, sighing under your breath as the anxiety in the pit of your stomach grew. Your anxiety has never been this bad but there was just something about today that made you want to puke.

Levi noticed when he saw your hands shaking while grabbing onto the rope, he stood behind you and grabbed a hold on your hand.

“Hey, if you’re not feeling okay then stay here.” He whispered from behind you and you shook your head repeatedly, turning your head just a bit to glance at him.

“No, I’m fine. Ive trained for this.” You assured him you were fine and he helped you jump on your horse, placing his hand on your thigh and gave it a squeeze.

“I love you.” He said loud enough for only you to hear, giving you a small smile and turned to get on his own horse.

All scouts had rode off in the distance, your coat secured around your body and your hood up over your head. You rode behind Levi with the cadets, the closer you all had gotten to the place, the more your stomach had cramped up, twisting and turning.

You had went in your position when you arrived, standing on top of the wall and held onto one of the blades, your eyes looked up at the night sky as the moon shined bright enough above, making the nightly Titans awake and dangerous.

“A Titan on the left!” You heard a cadet scream, shooting up a flare to make everyone aware and you had glanced over at the Titan who was running over.

Shortly behind him, there comes a big crowd of Titans and you gasped under your breath, hearing another couple flares being shot off in the distance.

This wasnt apart of the plan.

You used your gear, jumping off the giant wall and shot your hook to dig into the cement as you swung up in the air, flying across the sky towards the Titans and spun out both blades as you managed to easily take down the first one.

Another Titan was quick to reach for you and even wrapped his hand around your small frame, close to crushing you until you use the blades to slice up his hand and cut off his fingers.

It had been almost an hour and more Titans continued to come and you were starting to become tired and drained, same with the other cadets.

Levi had tried to keep his eyes on you but he was busy on his own trying to take down as many Titans as he can. There was something about the amount of Titans coming in their direction, like they were being told to all come here at the same time and that made Levi uneasy, maybe you were right about the hunch.

You had dropped the dull blades, putting new ones in and as the sweat gathered on your forehead, you leaped towards another Titan but this one was acting more different than the others.

He was far more intelligent and you had been distracted for a mere second until his large hand had grabbed onto you in an instant, in less than a second he had squeezed you enough to crack a few bones in your small body causing a loud scream of agony left your parted lips.

Levi’s head snapped towards you, the fear washing over his face and he had jumped, using the ODM gear to try to reach you fast enough but deep in his mind he had known he wouldn’t make it.

“Y/N!” He shouted, making your head turn towards him while the blood had slid down the side of your face.

Your vision began to blur, your eyes meeting the Titans large ones as he stared at you and you felt like everything was going in slow motion. His mouth opened, giving you a view of his big teeth and in that one minute, you knew it you were in a situation you wouldn’t get out of.

His hand had crushed you harder, making your body completely numb and a gush of blood splash your face and the Titan had let his grip on you go as you started to fall, you were too weak to use the gear attached to your waist and you couldn’t even focus your eyes on anything.

Levi had sliced the Titans nape, his eyes on you as you fell and he tried to dive to you, shooting the hook up in the Titans body to stable himself. Your eyes met his as tears began to sting his eyes, everything was coming to a reality.

I won’t make it, I won’t make it, I won’t make it.

Levi repeated to himself in his head, reaching his arms out towards you and he had thought of the last minute resort. He didn’t want to but, it was the only option to not let you land on the hard ground that would definitely kill you instantly.

He grunted, shooting the other hook down and watched it slice through your shoulder, making him wince at the sight of it but it prevented you from hitting the ground and you hung on the wire, slowly going in and out of consciousness.

Levi landed on the ground, quickly grabbing you and ripping the hook out from your shoulder, looking behind him as he saw the Titans come closer.

“Levi, you need to get on the wall!” Erwin shouted towards him and he glanced down at you, not wanting to move your body anymore considering how crushed and beaten it was.

But he managed to shoot up the wall, carefully laying you down once he made it to the top. Your eyes couldn’t focus on anything, even the moon was a blur to you until Levi’s face came into your view, the weak smile on your face made him panic.

“Hey, are you okay? Can you feel what’s broken? Can you move your legs? Arms?” He rushed out, half of it you couldn’t even hear, it was like he was far away whispering to you.

“Lev,” You choked out, your body completely paralyzed and your eyes closing and opening repeatedly.

“Y/N, please, move something for me.” He was convinced you were paralyzed, shit, he was convinced that you were dead and your brain was still functioning for the last time.

“Fuck, hey, Y/N, don’t close your eyes, keep them on me.” You never seen Levi this scared but your brain still couldn’t fully processed why he was scared and why he was panicking. was something happening?

You opened your eyes again, keeping them on his and your weak broken arm had moved slightly, just to reach up and grab a hold of his face. You were clueless and he could tell that this may be your last moments and your brain was tricking you into thinking you were fine so you wouldn’t go out in pain.

Levi’s face had been full of blood mixed with tears, his hand gently grabbing your wrist while the other had brushed the loose strands of hair from your face. He should’ve trusted your hunch, he knew you always had a good feeling about things but he was stupid, he wanted this plan to go good and now look at you, dying before his eyes and he couldn’t do a goddamn thing about it, you were too far from the walls, you were too far from a real doctor.

“Levi, why are you crying?” You mumbled, your thumb swiping across his cheek to wipe them away and you frowned at how upset your boyfriend looked.

“It’s nothing,” He lied, giving you a pained smile and he leaned down to place a quick kiss on your forehead.

“Are you sure? You can tell me anything, Lev.” You assured him, placing your palm on his warm flushed cheek and he couldn’t help but choke on his own sobs.

“I just,” He started off, closing his mouth as he tried to put himself together just for you but it was damn near impossible to control his sobs that formed a big lump in his throat.

“I love you so much, don’t forget that, please.” His breath was shaky, everything around them had frozen still.

He had completely forgotten about the Titans, his main focus on you as he tried his best to make you as comfortable as possible but deep down he was dying inside, hating himself for not being able to help you or take you back home.

“I love you just as much, Levi.” Another weak smile spread across your face before you started to choke up blood, letting him know it was nearing time.

“Levi?” You coughed again, still clueless on your surroundings until it had suddenly clicked in your brain.

His sobs had gotten louder and more obvious, the pain written across his face and the way he was repeating I love yous and placing kisses on your hand and on your face.

I’m dying?

You thought to yourself, furrowing your eyebrows and looking back up at your broken down boyfriend. He looked like a frightened little boy, latching onto your body tighter and held you in his lap, not being able to handle his emotions as they spilled out in front of you.

“Yea?” He barely whispered, cupping your cheek as your head laid against his arm as he held you close to him.

“Don’t be upset, please.. those cadets out there, they need you.”

“But I need you,” A whimper slipped past his lips and you couldn’t help but feel your heart break inside your chest.

“I’m always here, I always will be here. I’m not leaving you, Lev.” He stared at you, taking in uneven breaths as he shook his head.

“Levi, look at me.” Your voice was starting to crack and your body started growing cold. Levi was beginning to notice as he made eye contact with you, his bottom lip trembling.

“I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. I just wanted you to know that you made me happier than I’ve ever been in a long time.” You admitted, another big cough of blood had came up, burning your throat in the process.

You started to have trouble taking full breaths, your vision becoming blurry once again but you made sure to keep them on Levi, you needed to at least. And as you laid there, taking your last few breaths you had heard one last I love you from Levi as well as his lips on your forehead before it had went dark.

Levi stared down at you for what felt like hours, your eyes closed and your chest stopped rising minutes ago. He knew you were gone but he didn’t want to believe it. He hated him, he absolutely hated himself.

As his tears flood his cheeks, he felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at Hange as she gestured him that it was ready to go.

He didn’t leave your body though, he risked carrying you back on his horse. He wanted to give you a proper burial, it’s what you deserved. He kept you in his arms as he rode back to the main wall they stayed behind, he had put his coat over your face, he couldn’t handle looking at you as you laid there lifeless.

Everyone was quiet, they knew not to speak to Levi or even comfort him in anyway, they decided to let him mourn and do what he thought was right for him and that was getting home.

Erwin had helped bury you by the river behind the wall, close to where the base was at. He knew you liked coming here, you two actually came here a lot so he thought the area was perfect for you.

After it was done, he sat beside your burial site by himself and looked up at the stars. He had cried too much to the point where he was now emotionless and his cold stare was up at the sky, not knowing how to really feel.

He had held your coat in his hands, his fingers running over your badge that was stitched on and he closed his eyes, just for a second so he could see your face in his thoughts.

But pain was still all he felt.

.

.

.

Bruuuuh when I tell you I am crying over my own imagine—

I’m so sorry for anyone that reads this lmao

Send requests tho🤧

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[juletheghoul]

Oblivius Epilogue III (After)

We've come to the end of the epilogue and I hope you all enjoy. I am always prepared to dive back into this world, I genuinely love this story and want to talk about these two at all times so don't be shy!

Thanks for sticking with this story and for getting so invested.

Likes & reblogs are appreciated

Frankie Morales x F!Reader (Spills)

Pairing: Frankie x F!Reader (Spills)

Word Count: 6.1k (it is what it is)

Warnings: Angst, Smut 18+ (NO MINORS) p in v sex, slight dirty talk descriptions of an injury, (trigger warning - talk of ptsd & anxiety, talk of counselling) Language, Fluffy parent stuff. HEALING.

(Please let me know if I’m missing anything!)

Masterlist Playlist

-------------

Luna was glued to her father, screaming whenever he left the room and you could see the separation anxiety on her face and in her actions. Just like you could see the guilt on his.

He spoke to her softly, cuddled her longer than he would have before. He played with her despite the pain he must have been feeling and you had to step in more than once.

“Francis, take it easy - you’re barely healed and you have to go to physio tonight.” Your words quiet as she squealed with joy. He always looked at you as if he’d been chastened. You knew he expected you to be angry, to yell and scream at him when you’d gotten home and at first you’d wanted to. You’d thought about all of the things you’d say to him but they never came, instead there was a quiet separation. A massive drift between the two of you and it was so much worse.

“I know, but I can’t say no to her when she’s so happy to play.” He was looking at her but speaking to you. She was running around the couch - coming to crash into him as he sat down with a wince.

It had been a couple of weeks since he’d gotten back and he looked a lot better - he’d gained back a few pounds and the external wound had healed but there was still pain from the break.

You let him carry on.

“I’m going for a little walk with Mateo. Be back soon.” You didn’t give him a chance to join you.

I want to be alone.

The day was a little cloudy but the wind was nice, it felt stuffy at home and you’d taken to going out with the stroller for at least an hour every day. It gave you time to process your feelings and think about what you wanted to happen between the two of you, it gave you time to cry.

You could sit on the little bench near the ocean and cry in peace - without him wanting to comfort you, without your daughter seeing. You knew he saw the swollen eyes and tear streaks on your face when you got home but he never said anything. He knew there was nothing he could say.

At night when the two of you lay together it was like there was a wall between you, the time away was a barrier blocking you from each other and you didn’t know what to do about it. He apologized, profusely. When you’d gotten into bed that first night he’d cried and begged you to love him, to forgive him for his decision and for causing you so much worry. For missing the birth of his son. You’d both sobbed, clinging to each other in the dark - and you had told him he was forgiven, but come the next morning something had shifted.

It was the same when you got into bed later on, after tucking Luna in and after Mateo was asleep in the crib next to you. You’d both gotten into bed and it was awkward. There was no laughter, no talking about Luna and the funny things she said. There was no sex. There was just silence, and distance.

You facing the crib, and him facing your back, while you were awake that is. In sleep it was different - your body didn’t care about your feelings and it brought you both together. You’d wake up curled into each other. Whether it was you draped over his chest, or him curling onto your back. Without your mind to stop you - the distance disappeared, but it would be there in the morning. Awkwardly pulling away from him when the baby would cry.

---

Your parents were spending the day at your house, trying to keep up with Luna and cooing over Mateo. It had been a couple of months since Francis had gotten home and things weren’t getting better. If anything - they were getting worse.

You were washing a dish in the kitchen, sunlight streaming in as you rinsed the glass. You could hear your dad laughing with Luna - the tv playing softly.

His arms wrapped around you from behind like they had a thousand times. The wall of his chest pressing into your back and it was in you to turn around and hug him. Kiss him the way you would have before, but your mind rebelled.

“Go relax honey, I’ll take care of this.” You could hear the smile in his voice, feel his breath ghost along your neck and it was too much. You pulled away.

“It’s fine. I got it.” You didn’t look at him, you knew that if you looked at him you’d see the sadness in his face, you felt it though. Saw the slump in his posture in your peripheral vision when he slinked away and so did your mother. She was entering the kitchen and you knew she’d seen the whole thing.

“You can’t keep punishing him.” Her voice was low, she didn’t want anyone but you to hear.

“Stay out of it mom.” You said the words, but they had no bite. In reality, it was exhausting but no matter what the anger wouldn’t leave.

“Listen, you know I don’t pry into your life and I don’t want to start now but he’s a good father. He’s a good man - he loves you to death and although you have every right to be angry and hurt over his decision you have to decide what you want to do here.” She was leaning against the counter, staring at you and you sighed.

“I don’t know what to do, I want to forgive him - I love him. I just can’t, I get angry every time I look at him.” You took a deep breath as you spoke - not wanting to cry.

“Do you want to split up?” It was a simple question but you frowned at her.

No of course not, I don’t want to split up. I want things to go back to the way they were. I want to be happy again.

“No, don’t be ridiculous.” You scoffed at the idea.

“Well you’re acting like you do. You’re drifting away from him and eventually he’ll give up. Your partnership needs forgiveness, needs understanding and if you don’t know how to get there then get help. Go see a counselor, but stop this. It’s horrible for both of you and your kids deserve to be in a loving home, with the way things are, you're both ghosts.” She came over to you and hugged you, and you knew she was right. You walked back into the living room and sat beside your dad and watched Francis sitting on the floor with Luna. She was curled into his lap, her little hand curling a strand of his hair behind his ear over and over. An act of comfort you remember doing when you were little and your heart softened.

Tentatively you placed your hand on his shoulder and he gave you a heartbreaking smile when he looked over his shoulder at you. He said nothing but you could tell he’d been craving this. His free hand coming up and covering yours instantly.

I’m sorry Francis, I’m trying.

---

That night things felt much more awkward when you got into bed, you could see that he wanted closeness, he always did but you didn’t think you were ready just yet.

“Francis?” Your voice cracked slightly, nerves and fear of what he might say.

“Yes honey?” His hand inched closer to yours.

“I think we should do couples therapy.” You blurted out the words and instantly you felt lighter. He was quiet for a little while.

“I’ll do whatever it takes. Whatever you need in order to forgive me, I’ll do it.” His hand brushed against yours, softly and you intertwined your fingers with his.

“I want to, I really do. I just think I need help with processing my anger and I don’t want to keep shutting you out. Can you be patient with me?” You were looking at him in the dark, the moon glowing on his face through the open window and he nodded softly.

“Of course.” He fell asleep holding your hand.

---

He was sweating - could feel his shirt sticking to his back as he drove to the counselor's office for their first appointment. He knew she’d be angry, knew it the whole time he was stuck in the cot in that jungle. Had been sure she wouldn’t even show up at the airport, and when she had he cried like a baby. That she would take him back despite his monumental fuck up was a miracle, but that’s as far as it went.

Things were different and he couldn’t stand the look on her face when their eyes met. There was a hurt there that he knew he was responsible for. He wanted to hold her, crush her to him and never let her go. He wanted to feel her wrap her arms around him - he wanted to feel her nails on his scalp. It wasn’t there though, there was a divide and he didn’t know what to do about it.

When she told them of the counselling he’d been scared - terrified that she’d been so close to leaving that they needed professional help but that couldn’t be it. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to go through with this. This surely meant that there was still love there and that she wanted to get back to normal just as badly as he did - they just needed help.

He’d give it his all for her, he’d do anything for her.

---

The building was nondescript. A regular everyday building that blended with the rest of the architecture downtown. The waiting room even more so. It had that fake feeling that every waiting room has. Old magazines with curling edges fanned across a tasteful yet boring coffee table. Chairs that were neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. Taupe walls and drab blinds. You knew it was meant to feel soothing, nothing too loud or boisterous but it just felt stuffy to you.

“You okay?” His voice was soft and you vaguely wondered why these rooms always inspired silence.

“Yes, just a little nervous.” You gave him a small smile and he held your hand in his, pressing the back of it to his mouth for a small kiss. His facial hair tickled you slightly. You’d missed the casual affection, not realizing how much you’d taken it for granted.

“Me too, but I’m going to be honest and give it my all.” He smiled and you both waited in silence.

-

Her office was bland, everything about it blending in with itself - all except her. She was colourful. Bright clothes and bright white hair. She looked to be your mothers age but her hair was all white and so was her smile.

“Come on in, make yourselves comfortable.” She gestured to matching chairs with a little table between and you sat awkwardly. She let you get settled - a big friendly smile on her face and once you were settled she took off her glasses and crossed her legs.

“So, a little bit about what it is I do - I’m basically here, to help you either come together in a healthy way and give you ways to resolve your problems or infidelity or anything that might have happened - or part ways amicably. I know it’s a little jarring to hear but not all couples work well together and it’s healthier to let go. At the same time - sometimes the couples who are quick to call it quits could have stayed together with the right conversations. I’m here to help guide those conversations. Now-” She pulled a notepad from the table beside her, and looked at what she had written. “-I believe you let me know over the phone that you’re not married, but you’re in a committed long-term relationship with children correct?” She was looking up at both of you.

“Yes, that’s right.” Francis answered and you could tell he was nervous.

“Lovely, there’s only one thing I’m goint o ask of you in this room and it’s honesty. I need you both to be completely honest with me and with each other - that is the only way this will work.” She was looking at both of you with a patient expression. “I’m going to ask you questions - and then I want you both to answer as honestly as you can, without fear - do you think you could do that?” She watched both of you.

“Yes, I can.” You answered, Francis nodded.

“Perfect. First question, and maybe the most important- what are your expectations for counselling?” She watched you both and you saw Francis fiddling.

“I want things to go back to the way they were. I want help.” You blurted out your words and you saw him watching you. “I don’t want to be angry anymore, but I don’t know how to let go of it.”

She nodded - “And you?” She looked at him.

“I want to be forgiven.” His voice was sad, and you couldn’t help but watch him as he spoke, he didn’t look at you as he was speaking to her. “I know she says I am and I know it takes time but it doesn’t feel like I am. It feels like she can barely stand to look at me. I want her to love me like she used to.” He ended his sentence and it was like a blow to your stomach.

“Do you feel as though she stopped loving you?” She prodded, and you yourself were curious. You knew you’d been cold - you’d been reserved and there was that invisible wall between you but the fact that he thought you didn’t love him hurt. You could barely contain the love you felt for him.

“It’s not that exactly, I know she does-” He looked at you then and continued speaking. “-it just feels as though something’s been lost, like you don’t see me the same as I see you. It feels like your feelings towards me have been turned off. We used to be friends before and now it feels like we’re roommates.” His voice was a little shaky and you realized he was afraid.

“We won’t get into the incident just yet but I’m going to ask you a personal question. Have you been intimate since it happened?” It was a clinical question.

“We haven’t had sex no.” You answered.

“That’s normal, most of the time when there’s a big rift the sex dries up and that can weirdly enough make things worse. Especially for those who have sex a lot.” She was writing some notes on her pad.

“Sex aside, are you affectionate with each other? Or has that gotten a little cold as well?” She was writing more notes. You didn’t get a chance to answer.

“Cold. I’m an affectionate person - if I could I’d wrap myself around her constantly and before we would touch a lot. I could kiss her whenever I wanted - cuddle in bed. It’s not just sex, I miss the closeness.” He was true to his word and was honest.

“And that’s changed, you feel as though you can’t approach her in the same way.” She wasn’t asking, he nodded. “Do you not want him to touch you anymore?” She was looking at you now. You thought about her question, it didn’t seem that simple.

“No it’s not that, I don’t know what it is. I think about it, about how much I missed him and how badly I wanted him home - then I remember he’s home now. He’s here, he’s sorry and he’s trying. He’s giving me my space and taking it slow, but then he hugs me or he tries to approach me the way he would before and I snap. I get angry all over again and I pull away.” You couldn’t stop the words, they bled out of you - an angry wound being leeched. “I want to be okay. I want to not be angry anymore and I want to work through it because the alternative is unthinkable.” You sighed.

“This is good. I can see that you both genuinely want to work on it and get back to the place you were before the incident and I’m confident we can get there.” She smiled at the two of you and you felt hopeful. “Do you trust each other?” She was looking at you.

“Yes. I trust her. Implicitly.” He answered quickly and then looked at you. You were frowning.

“My first reaction is to say yes. Yes of course I trust him, but it’s different.” You were a little confused - your heart and your brain at war with each other. He didn’t interrupt you but you knew that he was hurt.

“What do you mean by it’s different?” She waited for your answer.

“Well, yes. Of course I trust him - I trust him with my life, with our children's lives. I trust that he loves me, that he wouldn’t cheat on me and that our relationship is solid and we’re in it for the longhaul whether we’re married or not. I don’t know though, when he left I thought it was selfish, and while he was away I thought he was dead and aside from breaking my heart it made me so angry. It pissed me off that he would leave me alone in the world-” You took a deep breath. “-I sound insane.” You looked at him and he looked so guilty, it made you feel bad, it wasn’t your intention to keep throwing it in his face.

“It sounds to me like you don’t trust him with his own life. You don’t trust him to take care of himself the way you need him to take care of himself.” She was speaking gently. “You don’t trust him with your future.” She was watching you and you didn’t respond, but you felt the tears coming.

The thought that you’d had no more time left with him had been so horrendous that it had ripped you apart. You had been so fucking angry that he’d taken away the life you’d imagined for the two of you and now that he was back all you could think about was how easily it could be taken away. He reached over and held your hand and you let him, clutching at him like a lifeline.

“Okay, our time is almost up but this is a great start and I genuinely believe this will be beneficial. I have some homework for the two of you. I need you to show each other some physical affection. I’m not saying go home and have sex but hug. Hug each other for five full minutes, or cuddle in bed. Discuss whatever feelings you have as they’re happening, don’t need to analyze or rationalize - just tell each other what you’re feeling. We can discuss everything next week.” You watched as she spoke and you decided you would do whatever it took.

---

You were quiet on the ride home, both of you taking in everything you’d discussed and when you got home it felt as though things were a little lighter. Not back to normal but there was a spark.

He let you set the pace throughout the night, waiting until you were ready. When Mateo was asleep you walked over to Luna’s room, you heard her talking with her father and you didn’t want to interrupt. Instead you stood just outside the door watching as he lay in her bed with her. She was draped over his chest, her hair was a tangle no matter what you did to it and it was in his face. She couldn’t sleep without a bottle of milk, and she nursed it as he read to her. His voice was soft, his hand rubbing up and down her back, coaxing her to fall asleep and it warmed your heart to watch them. At the same time - you felt that anger bubble up again.

You could have lost this. You could have taken this away from her.

Normally you would have shooed it away but you couldn’t keep ignoring it. You were still angry, you left them alone.

“Seems like she’s staying up later and later.” He spoke softly, everything he did was soft these days. All in hopes that it wouldn’t bother you, wouldn’t push you over the edge and it made you a little sad to think he was uncomfortable in his own home, but then again so were you.

“She’s a spitfire and I’m both proud and terrified.” You smiled at him and he smiled back. “Feels kind of awkward, making time to cuddle. Never thought about it before.” You said the words to him as he turned off the lights and made his way over to the bed, he stopped by the crib to check on Mateo but you knew he was out for a few hours at least.

“Yeah, I took it for granted. Miss it a lot though.” He got into bed tentatively, he looked so soft. His hair was long and fluffy - his pyjamas were soft and you could smell the clean scent of him. His body wash and Luna's hair. He opened his arms and waited for you to come to him.

When you got into place, a wave of emotion washed over you.

“Is this okay?” He spoke into your temple and you nodded. “Tell me what you’re feeling.” He stroked your arm softly. Your face was pressed up against his neck, your leg creeped up and draped over him almost of its own volition and you sighed big.

“I feel comfortable, I’m happy - I missed this so much. I missed you Francis.” Your hand mimicked his and you rubbed his chest through the soft material of his shirt. “I’m angry. I don’t want to be- I want to be over it and get back to normal but I keep thinking about how you’d be missing this if you never came home-“ you shifted to look at him as you spoke. “-Luna wouldn’t have you to tuck her in anymore, your son would grow up never knowing you. You were hurt so badly and we didn’t even know.” He listened as you spoke and you knew the words hurt him but you couldn’t stop yourself.

“I’ll never love anyone the way I love you Francis, and I thought you died. I thought my world had ended and you’d left me alone with two children.” You buried your face into his neck to stop the tears but they came anyway. He tightened his grip on you.

“I know honey. I thought about all of this while I was away and I was terrified. I don’t ever want to be away from you and the kids and I don’t want you to have to worry. I want us to be okay. I want you to know that I’m here and that I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed your forehead and it was so soothing that you sighed deeply. A giant weight had been taken off your shoulders and even though this wasn’t the cure, it was a start.

“How are you feeling?” You asked him.

“I’m feeling better, I need this. I need to be able to be close to you, I need to know you love me.” He said the words tentatively, almost afraid of the answer. “I feel like I have to talk about what happened to me over there because it was traumatic and I’ve been keeping it in.” His fingers fiddled with the hem on your shirt and you realized you’d barely talked about the incident. You knew he’d crashed and that he’d hurt his leg but aside from that you didn’t know.

“I’m sorry Francis, I know it must be hard dealing with all that. We should discuss it.” You kissed his cheek and you felt him take a huge sigh of relief.

“We have time.” He had a little smile on his face, and you knew he was right. It was only supposed to last five minutes, but you didn’t let go of each other all night. You were navigating through the storm and you needed to hold onto one another.

—-

You woke up before him the next morning and not surprisingly, he was clutching onto you. His head was resting on your chest, his big body draped over you and you fought the urge to pull away.

Why am I so angry? I’m scared, I’m terrified that you’ll leave me again.

You forced yourself to look at him. Forced yourself to take in his features, to study the face you loved so much and you were again struck by how beautiful he was. You knew there had to be a change, you had to forgive him and use the trust you have for him to assure yourself that he wouldn’t do this again.

His lower lip was slightly pursed in his sleep and it almost made you laugh to recognize Mateo in the gesture. You kissed him lightly, light enough that he didn’t wake up, instead he tightened his grip - until Mateo cried. You pulled away from him to tend to the baby but you made sure he felt you kiss his forehead. You needed him to know you were trying.

---

Over the next few days he noticed the changes. She was trying and they had made progress.

More often than not her hand found it’s way into his, she would walk by him sitting at the kitchen table and run her fingers through his hair. She would tentatively rest her head on his shoulder.

The counselor asked them more questions and they opened up wounds that he didn’t know he carried, gave him insight into how she felt and vice versa. He knew there were things he couldn’t say in the sessions - and they had everything to do with the legality of what he’d done. He’d done things he was not proud of. Illegal horrible things and they weighed heavy on his mind and it was obvious that if he wanted to move forward, he had to let them go.

He focused on the trauma of the crash, on getting hurt and thinking he might die and leave his family behind.

“Do you think about the crash a lot? What does it feel like when you do?” She asked him at one of their later sessions.

“Yes - I think about how terrified I was while flying, I think about how I could have killed my friends and myself. It feels like my heart is going to burst out of my chest and it translates over to when I drive my family around. I have this horrifying thought that I’ll get into an accident with them in the car and get them hurt.” He was breathing hard, he felt the ice in his veins and when she held his hand he slumped in his chair. He’d never told her this fear, he pushed through it and drove cautiously but this needed to come out.

“That’s a normal response. Accidents and injuries can definitely contribute to PTSD and anxiety down the line, even if physically you’re healed.” She spoke softly and clearly and he felt lighter.

When they got home from that particular session she was quiet and for a moment he was afraid that she’d reverted back to anger. She stopped him from getting out of the car in their driveway.

“Francis- why didn’t you tell me that?” She held his arm, using the moment before relieving his parents from watching the kids to ask him. “Why didn’t you tell me that you felt that way about driving and the anxiety?” She wasn’t angry, she looked ashamed.

“Honestly? I didn’t think you wanted to hear it.” He shrugged, her brow was pinched. “I thought you were too angry and that it must have been nothing compared to what you felt with me gone, so it wasn’t really worth saying.” He sighed heavily, there was so many things he’d kept inside and he realized it wasn’t good. She didn’t say anything for a little while.

“I’m sorry I made you feel like your feelings didn’t matter. No matter how angry I am, I don’t want you to think you can’t tell me how you feel.” She rubbed at his arm, pulling him closer to her and his heart started racing. “I love you Francis, and we can’t keep doing this. We have to tell each other what we’re feeling in order to get over this.” She placed her hands on his face and he melted into her touch. She kissed him softly, chaste and sweet and it was like a balm for his soul.

“I love you too Spills, we’re going to be okay.” He would make sure.

---

It had been a couple of months since they’d started therapy and things had gotten much better. The affection had come back slowly, with the exception of sex - they were almost back to normal in terms of physical touch. He seemed happier, more confident and you felt more and more assured that things would be okay. Your routine had adjusted itself, he woke up early to feed Luna and make coffee before work, and you took your kids to the beach, or the park - or to either of your parents house for the day.

When he got home you all had dinner together and your nightly routine of cuddling on the couch with your children was back on schedule. Luna was also improving - she was more and more comfortable with him being away for extended periods, Mateos sleep schedule was all over the place still but overall he was a happy baby.

With all of that progress, came the sex drive.

He let you set the pace, he never pushed or asked for anything during the course of your healing and you knew it was all for you. He was ready, you felt the evidence of it in the morning when he was pressed against your back. You heard him in the bathroom at night, the soft moans and little grunts he tried to mask.

Mateo was asleep in his crib, Luna was asleep in her room and he was making his way over to the bathroom.

“Okay if I hop in with you?” You smiled at him - and he was almost shocked but quickly recovered and agreed.

He seemed unaware of what to do with himself as you undressed, his body however was crystal clear. You saw his cock hardening, his eyes greedily raking over your naked form. You’d given birth to two of his children and the insecurity you felt went right out the window. His desire for you was painfully evident.

“Can I touch you?” He held himself back as you turned on the water, making sure he was reading you correctly.

“Yes Francis, I want you to.” You pulled him into the shower with you, wrapping your arms around his neck, the water hitting his back as you guided him underneath the spray. He wasted no time, his arms wrapped around your waist and his mouth was insistent. His tongue was in your mouth and you felt the arousal so deeply it was almost a hunger pang. He wasn’t holding back, his cock was pressed up against the soft skin of your belly, almost throbbing.

He was groaning into your mouth and his hands lowered to grab at your ass. You couldn’t help but giggle nervously, he was so keyed up for you and he laughed when he pulled away.

“Someone’s happy.” It came out as a breathy laugh as his mouth found it’s way to your throat, one hand snaked up and palmed at your breast.

“Mmm, I’m so hard for you baby, I’ve missed you.” He was crowding you, pushing you so you were pressed up against the cool tiles of your shower.

“I’ve missed you too, want you so bad - I’m so wet-” His mouth was on yours before you could even finish the sentence. You felt your heartbeat in your cunt at his confidence, the old Francis that fucked you like a god was back and you were aching for him. The angle was a little awkward, usually when you had sex in the shower it was from behind but you wanted to look him in the eye.

“Francis - can we do it in bed? I want you on top of me.” He was sucking at the skin just underneath your ear when he moved back. His eyes were lust blown, his face flushed and he didn’t respond, he turned off the water and practically dragged you out. Your slick threatened to drip out with how badly you wanted him.

He laid you down on the bed, uncaring that you were both wet and dampening the sheets and he wasted no time in getting between your legs, his cock was leaking, the tip of it rubbing through your folds and you couldn’t help but whimper.

“We have to be quiet honey, don’t want to wake up the kids.” His voice was deep and you could hear his excitement, his tongue licked into your mouth with every kiss and it was almost too much. “I want to taste you, I want to fuck you with my tongue.” Another kiss, a low groan into your mouth and as much as you wanted that you needed him inside you.

“After, I need you to fuck me first.” You reached down and guided his cock so the tip was knotched at your entrance. You watched the anguished look on his face as you pulled him in with the heels of your feet on his lower back.

There you are.

He was so heavy inside you, felt so right you had to take a moment.

“God honey you feel so good.” He rested his forehead on yours, your breathing synching up as he rocked slowly inside you.

“I missed you Francis, I missed you so much, fuck me please.” You were whispering to him, kissing his face and wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I got you baby, I got you.” He braced his arms around your head and snapped his hips, you could tell he couldn’t hold himself back and all you could do was hold on, with your arms, with your legs, with your cunt.

“I’m not going to last baby, need you to cum first-” Even as he spoke his thrusts got harder, faster. “-Rub your clit for me, make yourself cum on me.” He burried his face into your neck and you obliged. You were just as keyed up, and the wet glide of your fingers against the the engorged little pearl had you clenching around him almost painfully. He came a few strokes later with a groan against your skin.

He went to pull away but you held onto him.

“Wait- wait-” You held him close, your hands finding their way into his hair and he almost purred. “Stay inside for a little while. Stay here.” You kissed his forehead and he sighed heavily, letting his weight rest on your and for the first time in a long time he looked utterly relaxed.

“Of course honey, I’ll stay here as long as you let me.” He placed soft kisses to the skin he could reach, your neck, your collar. He fell asleep inside you, and you let him.

----

The next morning you were almost shy.

There was hope and happiness in the house and you couldn’t help but smile when you came downstairs. He had breakfast and coffee waiting for you, Luna was in her high chair and Mateo was in his rocker. Colourful toys dangling, little legs kicking and for the first time in a long time - you were happy. Everything felt lighter and lovely and you wanted him to know.

You wrapped yourself around him as he stood at the counter, he was buttering a bagel when you pressed your face into his shoulder.

“Good morning honey.” He dropped his bagel and turned around to wrap himself around you.

“Good morning Francis.” You got up on your tippy toes to kiss him and he smiled into it. “I was thinking we should go to the beach today - all of us.” You took the bagel from him and buttered it, he always said it tasted better when you did it.

“Sounds good to me.” He sat in front of Luna - smiling at her, she was screaming happily at the word and you knew then that it would be a good day. Everything was going to be okay.

---

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[buckyownsmylife]

Count the Shadows - Bucky Barnes smut

The one where Bucky wants you to sit on his face.

Warnings: smut, a more dominant reader than I’m used to writing, pining!Bucky, all of the good stuff, second hand embarassment

A/N: so... this is a gift to @navegandoaciegas. She gave me the idea for the Graveyard series ending, and that actually inspired me to keep working on that fic that was supposed to only be a oneshot and then became the pride of my eye. I hope you don’t mind that I’m dedicating this to her 😅 It also allowed me to explore some new kinks that might be appearing thanks to her writing and so really, I felt like this had to see the light of day. But really, if it weren’t for @world-of-aus, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ and @awesomerextyphoon​‘s support, I probably never would have had the courage to publish it, so thank you guys so much!

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Friday nights at Stark tower meant that something out of the ordinary was about to happen, and I’d already grown used to it, after being a part of the Avengers for the last two months. However, that didn’t mean that the prospect of a night planned by Tony Stark didn’t bring me a hell of a lot of anxiety, to the point where sometimes I’d catch myself wishing for a simple recon mission to take me away for the weekend. 

Despite all of my fears and discomfort, I’d been lucky so far. Not once had his attentions turned towards me, and he never even so much as called me to dance with him during one of the raves he liked to organize, so I was able to slip by unnoticed, seizing the opportunity to drink the good (expensive) booze and talk to my friends before retiring for the night.

By Wednesday that week, it was clear that the same couldn’t be said about the next event he’d be hosting.

“Say, Y/L/N, have I thrown you a welcome party?” Was my rude awakening on that fateful morning. Until his arrival, I’d been happily whipping up some pancakes for the supersoldiers and Sam, my morning run partners. The moment his question was processed in my brain however, I froze on my spot, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Oh, now, don’t give me that look. When have I ever thrown a bad party?”

Bucky choked on his coffee, and I immediately was by his side, lightly tapping his back to help him. “I guess this answers your question,” I joked, but with a serious face. Unfortunately, Tony simply rolled his eyes, too used to Bucky and I’s “antisocial behavior”, like he usually described, to give us any attention. “Okay, so maybe not bad, but if you’re going to throw a party using me as an excuse, I have at least one request. And it’s a dealbreaker for me.”

Something in my words truly interested Tony, because instead of brushing me off he actually turned to face me, raising his eyebrows in expectation. “So what you mean is that if I don’t give you what you want, you won’t join the party?”

I nodded, standing my ground. “That’s right.” Next to me, Bucky stood straighter in his chair. 

“Neither will I.” That brought a smile to my lips, and I turned to hug him quickly. 

“Thanks Buck,” I whispered in his ear, relishing in the way he always held onto my embrace just a second longer than I expected. It was always like this with us. Ever since I first noticed just how touch-starved the super soldier was, I’d find little excuses to touch him. And if I ever doubted my first assumption, the way he always chased away my warmth for just a second longer was enough to prove to me that I was doing something right.

“Very well,” Tony said after clearing his throat to regain my attention. “What’s your request?”

“Only the people who live in this tower can be invited.” I was expecting a lot of fuss from the billionaire, but surprisingly, all I got was a disappointed sigh.

“Figured as much. Okay, big shot. But here’s the deal: you’ll have to stay the entire night and participate in every game we decide to play.” I shrugged, taking a sip of my coffee. That sounded fair. “It’s a deal then! All you have to do is be here on Friday night, capisce? Don’t be late.”

I should have known something was up back then, but as it were, I was just happy that I was able to stop him from filling the Tower with people I didn’t know. Not only would it help to keep Bucky relaxed (and perhaps even allow him to enjoy himself for once!), it’d also help to keep myself relaxed. 

I’d never been one to enjoy big crowds, and I especially didn’t want to celebrate joining the team with people who weren’t even a part of it. It made sense. So when Friday night rolled around, it found me in a way better mood than I expected. I even accepted Nat’s suggestion and let her pick my clothes. I was feeling so great, in fact, that I felt bolder, brave enough to accept to wear a satin red dress with a deep neckline that seemed to be able to attract every man’s attention upon seeing me. 

Even Bucky seemed drawn to it. And I couldn’t deny that knowing I held that sort of power even to a man of his caliber, a man that attractive, made me feel even braver. But with braveness comes stupidity, and I was brutally reminded of that fact by Tony’s smug face when I heard the dare he had for me.

Listen, I would have never accepted the idea of fucking truth or dare if it wasn’t for this stupidly sexy dress. I mean, the powers that clothing can have… They can make you blind with clout. That’s the only way I could justify what happened next.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I argued, much to Tony’s (and the rest of the team’s) amusement. Each and every single one of them looked at me with barely contained laughter, with the exception of Bucky, apparently.

“Careful, sweetheart… The dare’s already on and that wasn’t very sexy of you.” Narrowing my eyes at him, I very carefully thought out my gameplay here. I could very well retreat to my bedroom and go to sleep. But then again, this whole night had been so fun, and Tony had been really nice to abide by my wishes to only invite people that I knew…

“Fine. I’ll spend the rest of the night being as blunt as possible as I hit on you guys. After all, this is probably the only way you’ll ever get to hear me talking dirty, huh?” And with a wink in Tony’s direction, I resigned myself to face the challenge ahead. “So, let’s get on with this orgy, shall we?”

Bucky’s P.O.V.

It’s not that I was jealous. Of course, I wasn’t jealous. It’s just… hearing her say those things in front of everyone else made my blood boil like nothing else. I knew it wasn’t my place to feel this way. It’s not like she owed me anything, much less attention. As much as I wanted, she wasn’t mine, or even close to that.

Despite being head over heels in love with her, I still hadn’t gathered enough courage to even ask her out for a cup of coffee - or anything else, for that matter. And the worst part was that everyone but her seemed to know about my feelings. Which made this whole night even worse, since I was pretty sure Tony had done all of this on purpose.

So I had to sit through a lot of “Oh, please fuck me”, and “I wouldn’t kick you out of bed,” none of which were addressed to me - and those were the least graphic ones. I couldn’t really blame her, since I hadn’t spoken a single word from the second this whole dare started, but still, I was sulking, and I knew it.

In fact, I was so lost inside my own head, that I didn’t even realize what had happened when she asked “Do you want me to sit on your face or what?” (which I’m pretty sure was directed to Sam) until a heavy silence took the place of the animated chatter that had been going on. Imagine my surprise when I realized everyone was staring at me.

“What?” I asked, my heart already beating out of control, looking from one face to the other in the hopes of grasping what I had lost in the conversation.

“You just said you wanted Y/N to sit on your face,” was the response I got, from no other than Sam himself, and if my heart had been pounding on my chest only seconds before, now it felt as if it had stopped altogether.

“You’re crazy,” I tried to joke, trying with all of my might not to look at the woman who was staring at me. I could feel her gaze on my face. It burned and I ached to look, to see what sort of expression she was wearing, but my anxiety was just too strong - stronger than my curiosity ever could be.

“I wish I was, man. But you literally just answered ‘Please sit on mine’ when she asked if she could sit on my face.” I was going to die. I was sure of it. My face felt so warm, there was no way I wouldn’t just spontaneously combust any second now.

The worst part was, I knew Sam was telling the truth. Because those were the precise words I thought the second that I heard the offer leave her beautiful lips. And now I didn’t know what to do.

“Fine, your room or mine?” She broke me out of my self-deprecating thoughts, surprising me so much that I automatically raised my eyes to meet hers, finding her looking down at me with a mischievous smirk on her lips. Was she joking? Was this part of the dare?

The room erupted on laughs and I forced myself to join them, praying to whoever was available up in the heavens that they would let me be and thankfully, soon enough, the conversation smoothly transitioned away from me and my stupid malfunctioning. Y/N didn’t look in my direction again, which helped with my task of trying to get my breathing pattern into a normal one once more, and in a half hour people were breaking up into small groups and going back into their own rooms for the night.

I figured it was safe to do the same. So I got back to my bedroom’s floor with my hands buried deep in my pocket, trying to figure out what the hell had happened that night, when the door to my room suddenly opened and a tiny hand wrapped around my wrist, hauling me as best as they could into my own living quarters.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Bucky looked beyond surprised as he stared down at me with his mouth hanging open. I was tempted to tease him about letting flies in if he stayed like that, but I didn’t want to make this any more difficult for him than it clearly already would be. To be honest, I also had no idea how I’d been able to move that mountain of a man.

“What are you doing in my room?” Oh, right. That’s what he was concerned about. Fair enough.

“I wanted to show you something.” By the way he opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally being able to say anything else, it was clear that it wasn’t the answer he was expecting, but then again, he obviously wasn’t expecting me to be in his room. 

“W-What?”

I grinned, immediately curling my fingers on the edge of my dress before promptly pulling it over my head and sending it flying across the room. Bucky’s jaw dropped, and it only made my smile grow bigger as I quickly got rid of my bra before finally doing the same to my underwear.

“What? Did you think I would let you suffer?” The poor thing, he didn’t seem capable of answering at all, eyes the size of plates as he stared at my naked body, practically drooling. I ran my hands over my breasts, cupping them slightly before trailing further down.

“Did you think I’d let Sam learn what my pussy tasted like? Or Steve? No, no, no, James. This is for you and you only.” Burying a finger inside of me, I made sure to let out my loudest, most pornographic moan as I slowly thrusted it once inside of me before raising it to his face.

“See how I’m soaked? I always get like this when I’m near you.” Bucky actually whimpered, knees faltering for a second as he reached out to grab a hold of himself with the wall next to us, and I laughed before raising a challenging eyebrow in his direction. “What are you waiting for? Get on your knees.”

My breath hitched as I watched the mountain of a man before me literally do exactly that, hypnotizingly staring at the space between my legs before slowly meeting my eyes with a look of pure need in his perfect face. Jesus. How the fuck was I supposed to control myself when he was looking at me like that?

I had gathered the sense that Bucky wanted me, that much became clear tonight, but I had no idea the extent of his desire until just then. Until he looked at me with pupils dilated from under his stupidly long eyelashes, breath coming out from his open mouth like he was desperate for me, desperate to taste what I had to offer.

He looked like he would do anything I asked him to in that second, and the feeling of power that thought gave me left me horny as nothing else. So my first order of business was to command, “Eat me.”

The second the words were out, it was clear that was all he was waiting to do what both of us so clearly wanted. Two strong hands grabbed me from behind and with that grasp of my ass, he pulled me to him until I was in fact seated on his face, wholly dependent on his muscular body to keep me up.

“Oh God,” he was the one to whisper, and a shiver ran through my body as he licked my pussy from clit to hole before diving in as if he was determined to rid me of all of my wetness - knowing fully well it was an impossible task.

Bucky Barnes didn’t need any guidance in the art of eating pussy, that quickly became clear to me, but I still felt the need to grab a hold of his hair just to help keep myself grounded into the reality of this moment. The way he moaned against my cunt at the action, the vibrations running through my body and making me tremble on top of him, certainly didn’t make me regret any part of my decision. It was clear he liked that sting of pain.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

I was having a hard time believing this was really happening, even though I had Y/N’s completely naked body on top of me, her cunt spread open by my own tongue, her juices covering every inch of my tongue. I couldn’t even convince myself to close my eyes to fully enjoy her taste, too preoccupied with memorizing every little thing about this moment. 

And the second she opened her eyes to find me already looking up at her, I was particularly glad for my decision, if only because I got to witness the delicious smile that took over her beautiful face before she grinded her pussy against my lips.

“Fuck, you look so good like this. I could get used to this.” A jolt ran through my body at the implications of what she was saying. Before I could even fully process it, I was already responding with the only thing that occupied my mind then, “Please do.”

If I thought I would scare her away with my desperation, a delighted giggle immediately managed to calm my nerves. “Do you always say what you’re thinking?” She asked, still rubbing herself against me, so it took me a while to be able to moan against her wetness an honest, “Yes.” When I did though, the vibrations managed to be exactly what she needed to gush her release onto my waiting mouth, making me growl in excitement. She was so fucking sweet. My cock was so fucking hard it hurt, but all I could think about was how much I wanted to pleasure her, how much I never wanted this night to end.

Unfortunately for my plans, she decided to climb down from me, eyes drinking my kneeling position while she caught her breath for a bit before she threw herself on my bed, feet on the mattress so I’d get a perfect vision of her perfect pussy. Hypnotized, I didn’t even notice I’d gotten up and approached her until her voice broke me out of my reverie.

“Would you like to take a picture?” I knew she was joking, but there was no way I’d miss the slightest possibility of getting at least a permanent reminder of this night, so I answered as truthfully as possible yet again, “Of course. Would you let me take one?”

I was expecting her to laugh it off and move this along, but once more her answer surprised me. “Only if you promise me you won’t use it to jerk off to.” The confusion must have been clear in my expression, because she quickly added, “That’s what I’m here for.”

My heartbeat picked up as I struggled to process her words. “D-Does this mean you’ll want to do this again?” I watched as a small smile grew on her lips and she sat up on the mattress before reaching out to me.

“Every night, if you’ll have me.”

Another moment of silence as I struggled to accept that this was real, that this was really happening. 

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I couldn’t contain my delighted giggles at the lovestruck expression on Bucky’s eyes. But my need for him was growing deeper every second, so while he stared I reached out for his jeans, quickly managing to unzip them and push them down until I could wrap my hands around his member.

“Jesus, you’re so hard.” Even without any actual stimulation, apparently just giving me pleasure was enough to get him ready for me. I could barely wait to feel his cock inside of my pussy.

“I-I can’t believe this is happening,” he whispered while climbing on the bed and settling between my thighs. “I’ve been dreaming about this for the longest time.” Gosh, could he be any more perfect?

“Well, it’s happening now, James. Please, please, fuck me. I need your cock in me.” His lips looked wet from our earlier activities, and my gaze immediately fell on them when he gasped at my words and the feeling of his cock rubbing on my pussy. When I positioned the head and pulled him closer to me, signaling what I wanted, he followed without any resistance, his entire body trembling as he struggled to keep himself up with both hands on either side of my head.

“You’re doing so great, baby. God, it feels so good to be with you like this.” Apparently, Bucky grew tired of fighting against his own body, since he allowed his massive frame to fall just over mine, resting his forehead on mine.

“Fuck.” Hearing the word whispered so close to me, his warm breath dancing over my skin, while he was effectively about to do just that, felt incredibly arousing for something so small. “It’s like I can’t get close enough to you.”

In the search to feel more connected to me, he finally started thrusting, and then it was like I’d forgotten to speak altogether. Only able to hold tight to those shoulders that tempted me for so long, I struggled to keep the moans and whimpers inside so I could continue to hear the little breathless whispers that he was releasing, almost like he was speaking to himself…

“So wet…” It all only made me more desperate for the enchanting man on top of me, so beautiful, and yet so insecure of his own allure. I hoped after tonight he’d start understanding just how attractive he truly was, at least to me.

“Bucky…” I managed to whisper, calling out for his attention and earning it when his eyes snapped open to meet mine. “Bucky, kiss me.” I needed to feel those lips against mine, to have that one sweet gesture of entwinement that we still hadn’t shared. Apparently, he felt the same need, because in a second, he was onto me, mouth slowly prying mine open so his tongue could explore yet another part of my body that now belonged to him.

By then, he couldn’t contain his moans anymore, and I was grateful that I was still able to keep mine low so I wouldn’t miss the symphony of whimpers and whines, especially after he pulled away to catch his breath and his eyes met mine.

“Fuck, darling…” Each sound from his lips made my pulse grow quicker, my body warmer, that incredible high closer and closer to me. And still, because I needed to tease him, I found myself saying, “For someone who was so embarrassed about the team knowing you wanted me, you surely can be loud.”

Bucky hid his head on the crook of my neck, making goosebumps rise all over my body as he rubbed his nose against my skin, breathing me in. If I thought it was a gesture of shyness, his next words assured me that wasn’t the case at all.

“I want them to hear. I want them to know I’m yours.” The confession had the fire of desire burning brighter inside of me, and my hands slipped around his back, certainly leaving nailprints behind.

“Oh, is that it? You’re mine now, James?” The thought thrilled me to no end, but I needed him to say it, not only because I wanted to be sure there was no uncertainty in his feelings for me, but also because it made me even weaker for the soldier and the dominance he had over my body.

“C-Can I be? Please?” There was so much vulnerability in his beautiful blue eyes that the only answer I managed to give at first was the connection between our lips again, pulling him down to me so our bodies were completely glued to one another once more. My fingers buried in his locks, I pulled on them when I needed to gather some air, and finally give him an actual answer.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

“Hell fucking yes. We’ll be the hottest couple on Earth.” A shiver went through my body at the realization that she truly wanted this, that she truly wanted me. A sound escaped my lips before I could realize, and in fact, I only noticed it because she broke me out of my reverie by saying, “You know, everytime you whine, I have the overwhelming urge to just tie you down to this bed and give you a reason to do so.”

Shit. This woman made me weak. And the moment I lost control of my own weight, she took advantage of it, inverting our positions so she was the one on top, while managing to keep my cock nestled deep inside of her.

“Do you want to cum, sweetheart?” Hearing the filthiness that spilled out of her lips only made me hotter and hotter, my hands flying up to hold her waist as she began to ride me. “Tell me just how badly you want it. Say it, or I’ll leave you right here, right on the edge of bliss, and I’ll cum on your thigh instead.”

I heaved loudly, trying to force my own tongue to work, but the sight of her breasts bouncing with her movements was too hypnotizing. I would never regain full control of my body again, I realized, for as long as she wanted to keep me around. But instead of feeling lost, like I did when the Winter Soldier took over, all I could feel was peace.

She wanted me. She wanted my body, my soul, every part of me. Despite every missing piece, every scar. Everything anyone had ever done to me, everything I’d done to so many. And I’d gladly give it all to her, forever.

“Please, please let me cum, ma’am.” The name left my lips before I could realize, but it made her smile. And right then, I knew I’d done the right thing. Her movements picked up, her hand searching mine to guide my thumb to meet her nub, and as soon as I started rubbing it, she gasped in the most melodic of sounds.

“Cum for me, James. I wanna feel you cumming inside of me.” Jesus fucking christ. I didn’t have a choice, my body reacting to her calling like she was a siren and I was helpless. I felt helpless. It wasn’t difficult to see that I liked it, though. I liked being under her control. I liked how she pulled me apart and held me in place all at the same time.

“If you don’t take your thumb away, so help me God.” Her voice broke me out of my thoughts, realizing her chest was heaving with the effort to breathe properly now that she’d reached her climax with me. I smiled sheepishly before adjusting on the bed, right when she climbed down from my body, and a whine escaped my chest despite my better wishes, making her look at me with an amused smile.

“I’m sorry, I just… I kinda miss you already.” Her smile grew bigger, her eyes twinkling under the moonlight as she leaned over me to kiss me, and I couldn’t help it. I just had to hug her closer, have her falling on top of my chest just so I could invert our positions and kiss her some more.

“I want something that’ll show them I’m yours.” I admitted once she pulled away to gather her breath, and her eyebrows rose in surprise, but also interest, I could tell.

“Like a collar?”

“I was thinking more like a love bite, but I don’t mind.” Her giggle was the most adorable sound in the universe, I was sure of it. 

“Baby, I’ll let you fuck me in front of them, if it’ll help your insecurity,” she soothed me, and the thought of having everyone see us together, fully understand that I belonged to her, electrified me. “You’re mine now. You can be damn sure if anyone tries to flirt with you, they’ll have to deal with me. And I’ll make sure they know I’m yours and only yours if they try to chat me up.”

The thought made me smile, and I laid back on the bed and pulled her to rest against my chest, my hand instinctively coming up to play with her hair. “I can get used to that.” We stayed like that for a while, just breathing in each other’s presences, relishing in the comfortable silence between us, until I felt the need to break it.

“Can I kiss you again?” I felt her smile against my skin, before she pushed away to reach for me and connect our lips once more. God, I don’t think I’d ever get used to knowing I could have this anytime I wanted. “One more,” I begged when she pulled away, and she pretended to think for a moment before shooting me a mischievous grin. 

“Only if you come fuck me in the shower.”

The only thing I could think to say in response, as I watched her strut in the direction of the bathroom, was “Fuck, you’re sexy.”