#and with the episode being described as something new makes me doubt that something bad is going to happen this episode

[uss-genderprise]

okay the new episode has people poking my sleeping special interest like a bear and it was about time to wake it from hibernation anyway so here are some fun facts about welsh fairies

it's spelled fairy. it's always spelled fairy. not faerie, faery, fae, or fey. fairy. please. or tylwyth teg if you want to be proper about it

fairies are not inherently malevolent. they work by their own rules that sometimes don't make sense to humans but there are rules, if you pay attention.

yes fairies will punish you for doing something they don't want you to do

they will also reward you for doing things they do want you to do

fairy rings are circles of green grass. they sometimes how up as a different shade of green than the grass around it and are generally markers of where fairies dance, as well as portals to the fairy realm. mushrooms aren't really a thing for that in welsh folklore.

string and bones and flowers are man-made and possibly supposed to bind or protect against fairies (though i haven't seen anything quite like what we see in the episode described in any of my sources) but generally breaking one of those doesn't immediately anger fairies, just lets them in to affect whoever put the ward up in the first place. that's not called a fairy circle.

changelings exist in welsh folklore. have fun with your theories.

fairies will generally let you leave the fairy world if you ask nicely. yes even if you've eaten the food and drank the drinks

however time moves differently so when you come back you might be super old and/or turn to dust the moment someone touches you

dancing is a different thing tho. they don't exactly want you to stay dancing with them until you die of exhaustion but like that's on you my dude get your friends to help you

if you broke fairy rules like kicking them out of their meadow to build a castle they will count eight* generations** and come back to turn that castle into a lake and drown everyone inside. you have been warned (repeatedly. usually by old ladies and/or bards and/or birds or sometimes just. A Voice™)

* the number of generations can and does vary but in welsh folklore it's generally 8 that's an important number, not 3 or 7.

** also the way generations are counted is. weird. idk if it's that i'm bad at math or bad at welsh or that the book i read explaining this is over 100 years old but i don't think i fully got how many generations this actually is.

oh and they only wait if you beg enough otherwise they kill you now

so basically. no getting trapped in the fairy world as punishment. they just kill you

personally i think the closest thing in welsh folklore to that old woman is a weird lady but even that isn't a great fit

yeah fairies bend time and space to always be far away from you if they want to but that's generally because they're trying to avoid you not following you at a distance

i am fully aware rtd probably couldn't care less about any of this. he definitely didn't do the work that i did to learn all this and incorporating this into your theories is probably shooting yourself in the foot as far as actually being correct goes. HOWEVER i do think it's more interesting and fun this way :) theories are gonna be wrong anyway might as well respect the culture that's inspiring them while we're at it yeah?

i will cite my sources if anyone asks but i doubt many people care to read hundreds of pages of edwardian non fiction novels just to fact check me. trust me on this guys

[chaotic-kitty]

Weeping....huh

Well that could be:

Weeping in sadness (maybe something to do with Pabu, Tech, another person or event)

Weeping in happiness, relief, ect

An innocuous out of context quote or description

Ummm....describing a wound that's weeping (?)

Or some body of water that's weeping

A weeping willow (saw someone suggest that)

The name of a funky star wars structure or something? (Really not likely)

[thattimdrakeguy]

HOW NCUTI GATWA STOLE (THE SHOW AT) CHRISTMAS.

Gonna be honest, do not care how brash it sounds, Ncuti Gatwa is already my second favorite Doctor. A perfect mesh of fantastic performance and good writing.

Both him and RTD just deliver what's their in my head as the 'Doctor-y bits', the things that make any incarnation of the Doctor feel like the Doctor. The stuff that if lacking can make me not care for an incarnation, or really like an incarnation.

They nail that base of the character while adding new things to make the new incarnation unique and it's wonderful.

The Doctor is an enigmatic, scientist, time traveling, adventurer, investigator, that's so eccentric. And while some criticize RTD for making the Doctor's a bit too human, I personally think he's always been very good at writing Doctor's that feel like aliens who've been around humans for hundreds of years...which is who the Doctor is.

And it makes the Doctor so wonderful.

Never liked when people say some Doctor's don't feel alien...simply because they aren't standard socially awkward. 'Cause that always felt a bit unintentionally mean spirited. There's lots of human's that are bad at social cues and stuff. A lot of them are just plum Autistic. It doesn't make them alien.

RTD makes his Doctor's feel alien by the obvious experience the Doctor has that's above any possible human. Knowledges and sciences above what we human's even know. With enough eccentricities with the way they socialize that show they're so used to being around actual aliens that they're pleasantly surprised when something unusual shows up, and they're right at home alongside it.

Now all that stuff I described is almost constantly there...'cause it is the Doctor'y Bits, but it feels more pushed to the forefront with RTD. While other writers either don't make those the elements that stand out, or they write them in a way that feels...it's hard to describe...But sometimes that stuff is written in a way that feels parody. When I feel like the humor is natural 'cause, 'Who the hell can say they done all this'. It could be a directing or performance thing over writing. It's hard to pinpoint. While focusing too much on making the character quirky to the point they feel a bit too over-the-top to mesh, or possibly maybe even inconsistent with other parts of the characterization that's been established.

It's a magnificent balance in the latest special is what I'm saying.

And thanks to the beauty of the writing, Ncuti gets to play a three dimensional Doctor right off the back. His serious side, his silly side, his teasing side, his self-doubting size, his scientific side, his adventure loving side. It's all there, and he betrays it so convincingly. It somehow feels like he's already done a full season when this is his first episode as the main Doctor.

And the episode was a total breath of fresh air.

The first three specials were amazing, and already among my top favorite episodes of Doctor Who. But by nature they were an epilogue to a story already started. Which is what made them fantastic.

But on the differing side of the coin is this special, where it's to begin a new on, in a new era, in an episode that's a truly great starting point for new viewers that may not understand the sort of show Doctor Who is.

I've seen some people say it doesn't work as that 'cause it's goofy.

No it's perfect 'cause of that. You shouldn't watch Doctor Who not expecting camp sensibilities. Even at it's most serious, the show still has elements of camp, it's just rather or not it's intentional lmao

Also Millie Gibson is insanely convincing right away. I never seen her in anything, while keeping some faith, since so far RTD has been sort of my man when it comes to Doctor Who, I consistency enjoy his choices. But like, wow, she was genuinely the stand-out to me, above even Ncuti in some ways, because obviously the Companion isn't going to be as naturally interesting as the Doctor is, since the Companion is supposed to be a more average person, while the Doctor is...the Doctor. To make the companion stand out as much as the Doctor is insanely hard...especially when Ncuti is a show stealer by showing up alone from his charisma.

Her performance was amazing though.

I've never been so impressed by a companion's performance (Anymore so than another) before like I was with Millie.

[thedreammweaver]

This is gonna be like controversial probably but people comparing Good Omens season 2 ending to OFMD season 2 like- one of these is not like the other.

Good Omens finale was upsetting, it was sad, it was intense but it made sense. It wasn’t rushed or paced weirdly. Like it’s sad but it makes sense that these two repressed weirdos aren’t gonna be able to jump into a relationship together immediately. It makes sense with their characters and also there is nothing to suggest (unless the show got cancelled but that’s not in the canon you know) that Crowley and Aziraphale are permanently separated. Like it can be feasibly fixed. And everything felt like Good Omens. I doubt that Neil secretly hates all of us and is gonna turn Aziraphale straight next season or something so GO 2 was sad but you know, didn’t kill my interest in the show or my enjoyment, still excited for next season because there’s hope and a lot of potential for these characters that we love.

MEANWHILE

Izzy’s death… the pacing was so weird. I don’t think it should’ve happened at all. But especially not like that and shoved in between a bunch of other things. I couldn’t even feel happy for Black Pete and Lucius cause the show was just stampeding over Izzy’s still warm body, you know what I mean. If I were to describe OFMD before this I would say it felt like a warm kind of sweaty hug. Like it’s a little intense and uncomfortable sometimes but at the end of the day it’s soft and loving and warm- now I don’t know what I would say because killing Izzy felt so unlike the show. So much of the first season and parts of this one were like, loving the unlovable, embracing the outsiders and weirdos and downtrodden. And so this show suddenly takes this newly disabled older queer man who is only now getting some sort of healing and relative safety and a loving community and then they kill him…

I know OFMD is a violent show so there’s gonna be death but it’s also a comedy and to me this feels like if in an episode of Parks and Rec Ron Swanson got shot and he just doesn’t come back, he’s real dead forever. Like that doesn’t feel like it’s part of the same show to me!

So it’s like.. I can’t be that excited for season 3 because I don’t know what OFMD is anymore.. like there was never any doubt in my mind that they were totally setting Izzy up for a happy ending/new beginning. Maybe my that’s my fault like I didn’t watch the show right but like, I can’t trust it anymore, I can’t feel safe and comfortable with it anymore.

Also this is gonna suck because it’s gonna cause big divides in the fandom, people are gonna take it too far and attack writers or actors or eachother, I feel like it could get really bad. Possibly being a downer I’m just anxious. This is such a good show for representation and I’m just worried it’s shot itself in the foot.

[lesbianliutana]

i was Just rewatching the first episode of bbc sherlock with my mum before seeing the new letters from watson email had been sent and even though it's just the first chapter it's already making me sad to see how much they changed just his Introduction

like he's so endearing !! and so clearly passionate about crime solving in a way his introduction in a study in pink just doesn't get across as well imo

if they were even aiming for that at all, which.... im doubtful ? i think bbc sherlock was a lot more concerned with making him seem cool maybe, and Definitely with getting across that he's Fucked Up or whatever and his giddy excitement here doesn't really work well with that intent. there's the scene later on in 221b baker street where they got a bit closer to showing his passion but in that scene the thing he's excited about is another murder happening which. changes it a lot i think.

he's finally shown to be passionate about his work in some way, sure, but i think it was done to, again, lean into the "ooo isn't this guy A Bit Strange" thing by having him get excited about a stranger's death. i wouldn't consider it a scene showing his love for his work, i think it's more about his hatred for being bored, because a study in pink leans more towards his passion for his work being a bad thing with how it makes his reasoning a lot more .... pessimistic maybe ?

like pink has characters talk about how he gets off on crimes in a jaded way when it's not just about it being something that stops him being bored while scarlet compares him to a child with a new toy to describe how passionately he feels and i feel like i'm using the word passionate a lot but it's the only word i think describes what it is i love about the sherlock short stories i've read so far and now the beginning of this novel that bbc sherlock (at least in it's first episode) just. doesn't really have. either that or love, maybe.

idk this is just the first chapter and i don't remember much at all of bbc sherlock after a study in pink so my opinion will probably change at some point but this is how i feel about the adaptation currently.

and anyway i wanted an excuse to show some screenshots of nice sherlock scenes bc i love him a lot

[gryficowa]

Arab.org doesn't want to work, so there's no point in clicking for Palestina...

In addition, I messed up with the boycott, I didn't want Kindergarten, but I didn't want to argue with my mother, so we made a deal: I'll take the chocolate and someone else will take the figurine, which doesn't change the fact that I feel guilty because I messed up

Apart from the fact that YouTube removed the options for translating comments into their own language, it's good that I have Opera GX, because I'd have to have more tabs open and torture myself with this shit to translate everything, which doesn't change the fact that it sucks that they add options , to suddenly remove it, like, what's the point?

I know, my problems are trivial, it's just that others boycott better than me, and I keep stumbling and I feel like I'm not doing enough, I can't make payments because I don't have a bank account, because I don't even earn money, it all sucks, no I can completely stop listening to all creators, even if I don't like them for what they do, I don't want them to make money, I supposedly use adblock, but because the ads are always too loud (And I have hypersensitive hearing, the price of autism)

Apart from the fact that ads cause lag, and I have 5G Internet, so it doesn't make sense

I try to avoid stress because it can lead to a meltdown, so I'm a ticking time bomb, but I still go into stressful situations because being passive doesn't work in this world

My problems seem so trivial compared to Palestine, Congo, Ukraine and Sudan, but I can't help it

I feel emotions much more, but I avoid showing them because people react badly to them, I can't describe them, because when I try, I come off as an idiot or I complain and it sucks

I've always been surprised and terrified by people who only think about themselves, it's simply unrealistic for me, because when I try to think about myself, I always come across as selfish or narcissistic, and what about them? Nothing at all

I don't understand able-bodied people, I just don't understand them

And I feel like I'm not a perfect person when it comes to fighting for Palestine, it's just that others go on strike and I'm too afraid of crowds and it sucks, I didn't go on strike in my country in 2020 either because of this stupid fear and sensitive hearing

I can't get a job with a second degree, and I would like to be able to contribute and pursue my goal of creating my own animated series, but I doubt I will ever achieve it, and that's actually the only thing that keeps me in this world

Since 2020, everything started to go wrong, I don't know if it's because I became interested in politics and started discovering what a rotten country I live in, or if the pandemic itself was just a new beginning that led to people starting to show their true colors

I miss the days when my biggest concern was that SVFOE episodes were long (Fillery)

I don't live in nostalgia, because nostalgia is false, it beautifies the times when you were destroyed at every step, it was because of this "Beautiful days of childhood" that you were destroyed, they were a lie, because this time will destroy you, teasing and humiliation, it made your there are fears today, they make you feel guilty for everything, even if it's not your fault, you can't think about yourself because you feel it's selfish, you feel bad explaining your feelings because you will form something wrong and everyone will call you a liar

Yes, I had no plans to write all this...

[coolsomejet]

SPACE CAMP PREVIEW BREAKDOWN

iTunes uploaded a clip of Space Camp, and I already posted it to my main blog. Let's break it down, shall we?

A new plot factor has emerged - Jet's favorite TV show character is revealed to be "Great Galacto," a "space hero." Jet is inspired by this character to surf on waves in outer space. Based on the description of the character, it reminds me of Flash Gordon for some reason.

The animation here is gorgeous. It's to be expected, since this movie is co-produced by Universal and Dreamworks, which would give it a bigger budget. The colors here, such as pink, purple, and blue, make it even prettier. Hey.....

As Jet is surfing, he records a letter/song to the Great Galacto Fan Club. The song appears to fall into the ska genre, and the lyrics are this:

Dear Great Galacto, It’s Jet Propulsion, your greatest fan Writing to tell you, if I can How much of my life goals are owed to your Great Galacto space hero ?? (I can't make out what he says here) Bravery, toughness, self-reliance A student of the laws of science Never afraid to take that chance And always ready for a song and dance Mentally, and physically fit A solo act, and proud of it Stronger, faster, healthier To the great unknown, excelsior!

All this time, Jet based his entire personality on the Great Galacto. He even admits how much of his "life goals" are owed to the character. "Bravery, toughness, self-reliance" - these are all some of Jet's personality traits, since he is fearless and always finds a way out of any problem.

"A student of the laws of science" - a law of science is a statement, based on repeated experiments or observations, that describes or predicts a range of natural phenomena. As Jet sings this line, he can be seen juggling planets, so I guess the "laws of science" in this case would refer to gravity.

"Never afraid to take that chance" - Jet, multiple times throughout the series, acts before he thinks.

"And always ready for a song and dance" - Jet also bursts into song at the drop of a hat throughout the song.

"Mentally, and physically fit" - Jet is definitely physically fit, since he can run fast, and he somehow never gains weight despite how much he eats. The mentally fit part is questionable though. Jet is a genius, there's no doubt about that. He can name most of Jupiter's moons, quickly calculate how many Earths can fit into the sun, is a decent inventor, and during this line, he plays chess. However, he's also an idiot, since he can't keep his identity a secret at all. But we love him just the same.

"A solo act, and proud of it" - I don't quite understand this line. I don't think Jet is a "solo act." He loves having his friends around, and even if they aren't there, he's always with Sunspot. It's implied that he hates being alone in a few episodes. In "Jet 2," he goes into despair when he thinks that Sean and Sydney don't want to be his friends anymore, and in "My Three Suns," he has a bad daydream where he's left all alone in a void, to be "it" forever. I think that this line will come back somehow. Maybe in the movie, Jet will try to do something by himself, only to later need the help of friends.

"To the great unknown, excelsior!" - Jet also seems to have lifted his "excelsior" catchphrase from Great Galacto. The phrase itself is Latin for "onward and upward," which he states in "Treehouse Observatory."

Great Galacto seems to be like a masculine, Bortronian counterpart to Commander Cressida (I'm assuming that Galacto is male/masc because his name ends in an "o," which is usually considered masc). Both are space heroes, both have alliterative names, both star in TV shows, and both are idolized by one of the main characters. Sydney idolizes Cressida, and Jet idolizes Galacto. Maybe this will be brought up in the movie. Who knows?

[bloogers-boogers]

Kyle Brofloski/ Eric Cartman (onesided) Eric Cartman/ Yentle (SP two-parter)

/Selfishness/ [part 2 ⬇️] 》》》》 [part 1]

~~~~~~~~~

After that day he only witnessed Cartman get closer to Yentle, he couldn't do much cause he feared people or Stan will pick up what was actually going on.

Still he did his research, printing piles of Cartman's criminal history, heading towards her house; that was across the block from his.

Knocking carefully the front door.

"Yeah?" She answered, tilting confused as she eyed him, "omy God, did Eric send you to give me a romantic note? He's such a tease~" she beamed in thought, guessing his why arrival.

"No, Yentle. I need to talk to you seriously," frowning slightly annoyed by that.

Her face went blank before gesturing to come in.

He pass her a notebook full of Cartman's shit, watching how the girl eyed carefully each page. The silent of the room was piercing deadly at his chest. He can only imagine how disappointed Cartman would be after being rejected by Yentle.

But, he can't say he feels any sorta of guilt for it.

Tapping his foot lightly desperately wanting to hear or see a reaction from her. Making sure it was a definitive she'll leave him alone.

But she seemed a little too unfazed by it, passing the notebook back to him. And pushing him to go towards the door as 'you should leave now.'

"Don't you have anything to say?" He asked confused by her lack of reaction.

"Eh, my dad has done worse," She shrugged before slamming the door in front of him.

He shuddered by the noise emitted, but he was left even more confused by what that meant, but it wasn't even remotely close of how angered he was for not achieving his goal.

Being back home gave him the freedom to look in to Yentle's own history, it didn't seem there was much more to the girl from what she had displayed in school but it seems her family was quite a reckless one. Her father was sent to a mental clinic two years ago because of his bad schizophrenia and murderous tendencies, he actually caused a lot of shit back in New York, which in one of those bad episodes was sent off to the clinic.

Her mother on the other side seem to be a narcissistic freak, the head of a model industry to be in fact. You can already see the arrogant personality in her interviews and written web articles describing her. She was definitely not the nicest person to deal with for what it's shown.

In his eyes this seem like a very a sad case, Yentle didn't seem to have a good and happy life.

The complete opposite of what she shows in school.

Maybe she can't even tell the difference between what was right for her and.. Cartman.

Cartman was like a mixture of both her parents, something she's already grown accustomed. So she probably found familiarity in him, but then again, he doubted Cartman would show his tendencies if he attempted to curt her.

°°°°

They were at starks pond enjoying their evening with no bother of the world until it was interrupted by no other then..

"Let's play gay chicken," Cartman blurted outta the blue.

"Okay," Kenny not so surprisingly agreeing to it, with zero hesitation, just searching for some fun and entertainment.

However he and Stan on the other side..

"Fuck no, dude!" Stan exclaimed baffling by the suggestion.

"No," He blankly stated, not very convincing.

The idea of being able to kiss Cartman with out it being questioned made him actually considered it.

His eyes landed straight on his lips as he heard Stan kept backing down to the idea.

"C'mon, Stan. Stop being such a pussy. Or are you afraid that you might actually like it?" Cartman taunt in his usual manner while Kenny snickered next to him.

"Shut up, fatboy. I'm not playing that shit."

"Aweee, you afraid you'll fall madly in love with you best friend~?" He kept edging Stan to his limits before he ceased in.

"Okay, fine," reluctantly giving up, "Kyle are you in?" He asked lightly.

"Fuck, no way dude." He denied with his head, even though internally he was already driving himself crazy to suck and flavor ever inch of Cartman's pink thin looking lips.

"Don't be a pussie, Kyle. If I'm doing it you're doing it too," Stan said with much more determination, probably just wanting it to get it over it before it even started.

He frowned but didn't protest on it, looking at Cartman who gestured them to form a circle.

"Rule number one, no one should know about this."

"As if we wanted people to know we kissed a fatass," Stan remarked sarcastically rolling his eyes.

"For your information, hippie, I'm a good kisser."

"Uhuh sure."

"Second rule, whoever budges out will have no complaints with our dares."

"Fair," Kenny added, beaming mischievously.

"Okay, that's much it," Cartman shrugged uninterested on adding anything else.

"Who goes first?" Kenny asked now looking at them expectantly.

"Well I suppose, if hippie dick right here has no worries about falling in love with my amazing kisses." Cartman once more gesture Stan in a provoking manner.

"Fuck you, dude," Stan blurted out but took the unspoken challenge, "watch yourself I don't want you to fall for me, fatboy."

"As if," Cartman chuckled in a laugh, before placing his face inches apart from Stan.

He and Kenny watched expectantly, eyeing the two boys In curiosity who just casually glared at each other before reluctantly closing the gap between their lips.

A small gasp came out from his mouth as he watched his friends make out.

Images of him and Cartman doing exactly that in a couple of minutes dreaded him.

Stan reluctantly placed his hands on Cartman's shoulders a minute after before moving his face away. Pretty much giving in the lost.

"Ha!" Cartman pointed at him victorious.

"Yeah, I can't keep this up man.." Stan winced in displeasure finally moving apart from him.

Cartman beamed while rubbing frantically his hands eyeing Kenny as if they were already sharing what to give Stan as punishment.

They made Stan pee on top of a police officer's car hood as they took a picture as evidence and– to laugh about it later. Running back to their first spot to continue the game.

"Stan, being our loser you must kiss the person of our choice," Cartman said in an arrogant manner making Stan huff.

"Jewboy if you give us the honor," He toothly grin, gesturing with his hand towards Stan.

He watched worrisome, as he gulped looking at his best friend in a mutual awkwardly stare.

Feeling his hands sweet he open and closed them a couple of times before leaning in to Stan's plastering their lips together, eyes now wide opened as he winced already feeling so weirded out by it, Stan pushing away after seconds in immediately sharing the same sentiment.

"Sorry, dude. But this is weird as fuck, it's like kissing family," he blurted out, eyes were still processing the whole thing.

He nodded frantically in understanding, he didn't like it all.

Cartman groaned loud, "uuuuuggggh you're all such pussies. We'll just wait after the next loser to give your dare, Hippie," he declared, gesturing Kenny; who grinned devilish.

Knowing that piece of shit he probably already made up a whole strategy to make them lose.

Moving excited, Kenny place himself in middle of the circle waiting for his competitor.

"Okay, so considering Stan is a pussie bitch and lost two times, I'll give this round to Kahal," Cartman stated smugly, shoving his hands inside his pockets.

"Hey, no fucking fair dude!? Kenny's a perv!" He exclaimed in disbelief.

"C'mon, Kyle. Do this for me," Stan pleaded with sad puppy eyes, clasping his hands together.

"Yeah, ky~ I'll be gentle," Kenny teased while Cartman howled in laughter.

"Make sure he loses, Ken," Cartman call him out, still having that annoying grin on him.

Kenny taunting nodded his head as he hummed some song.

And with out warning he smashed their lips together, he heard Stan gasped and Cartman snickering. Kenny kept on digging his tongue inside his mouth as he winced and tried to follow back, Kenny slid his hands on his chest provoking him to move backwards with he pushed forward in a huffed almost pushing him away, but backing down cause he didn't want to give that fatass the win.

It kept going for like two minutes before Kenny declared he was accepting the defeat.

"Can't keep it up, man," he sighed disappointed, panting heavily as he tried grasping for some air.

On the other end he was glad it was over, he felt like in any second he was gonna budge out.

"Dammit, kinny! What the fuck! You said you were good at that shit," Cartman exclaimed pissed off, he couldn't help but smile smugly by that

"I underestimated Kyle's determination on giving you that lost, fatboy," Kenny guessed right on his persistent.

He wiped with his hand any remaining saliva and licked his now drying lips, glaring daringly at Cartman.

"Sweet, that means it's our turn to pick the next player," Stan commented now more enthusiastic, pointing at Cartman with a grin as he gesture Kenny, "your turn, fatboy."

"Goddammit" he mustered after, accepting his lost, before smirking lightly at Kenny, "bring it up poor boy."

"I'll make you cum," Kenny teased, grabbing him from the waist.

"As if," Cartman rolled his eyes, resting his arms on his shoulders.

Both furiously began making out, Kenny with a loud thumped dropped Cartman on the ground gripping his brown hair as Cartman began sliding his hands under his jacket touching Kenny's bare skin.

"Wow.. is that how we're supposed to play..?" Stan murmured still not taking his eyes off the two, bewildered by the intense playing of their friends.

Kyle bit his tongue holding in his jealousy, gripping his side as tension was felt in his body. The only thing that kept him from kicking Kenny off was by imagining himself in his place.

It was like three minutes until Cartman began gasping for air calling in a truce.

"No truce, fatboy. You lost," Kenny declared, giving him a hand to stand up.

"Goddammit!" He whined childish, before kicking some dirt in a grunt.

"Alright, alright, let the actual fun begin," Kenny added, rubbing his hands frantically before pointing at Stan, "seeing you two up your assess today made me realize how funny it is to piss you guys off, why not you give me the honors, Stanley?"

"God, give me the fatass again," Stan complained, chugging in some air before stomping his way towards Cartman.

"Aye! Watch yourself," Cartman warned, cupping Stan cheeks in a desperate attempt to lead.

He puckered his lips planting them on Stan, now best friend knew how to keep up the pace of the game, running his hand on Cartman's back then yanking lightly his hair.

Cartman began following Stan's lead as he was let slammed against a tree, Stan towering Cartman licking his lips before sucking them again.

He glance at Kenny who was recording discreetly while snickering silently.

"So, are we placing our dares after the game's over?" Kenny asked out loud, receiving a muffled as a 'yes' from Cartman who gripped hardly on Stan's messy hair.

This gay motherfucker was letting himself get riddled up by Stan, he was far from comfortable seeing both his best friend and Cartman make out in a desperate attempt of dominance.

Well, sorta if you don't count Cartman uncharacteristically rubbing his crotch against Stan's leg making the other groaned in response biting his down lip sliding his tongue inside his mouth one last time before calling quits.

"Alright, you fucking win, Cartman," he surrender almost dizzy, his hands raise up in the air.

"Sweet," Cartman mustered out laying himself against the tree arms crossed behind his neck, "you're next with Kenny."

Stan looked worrisome at the boy in question, who just licked his lips in a playful manner.

"Better do me just like Cartman, Stanley boy~"

Stan gulped, knowingly what he was about to get in to.

In a matter of seconds, Kenny lunged on to Stan gripping his waist and dragging him to the same tree he was previously pinning Cartman, now lifting him up as his legs hold on to Kenny's waist.

Stan yelped by the abrupt gesture, trying to grasp his hands on Kenny's cheeks but wasn't let to as Kenny shove harshly his tongue against him crashing their teeth together, opening his eyes in surprise.

"Damn, Ken's upping his game," Cartman mustered while checking out his nails, unfazed by the scenery.

In less than seconds Stan pulled away accepting once more defeat.

"Fuck no, dude! You crazy beast," He exclaimed grasping for any bit of air given.

Kenny licked his teeth in a beaming victory, then smiling innocently.

Now looking at Kyle with mischievous eyes and slowing eying Cartman while the fatboy laughed at Stan.

He gulped already knowing who was up next, twitching fingers as his nerves grew.

"Eric~" Kenny sang, getting Cartman to look at him, "pew pew!" He pointed in a 'bang-bang' manner at both himself and Cartman.

Cartman expression went flat, but immediately covered it up with a grinned.

"Alright, gaywad bring it on," Cartman challenged him already in the middle of the circle.

He unintentionally licked his lips moving forward and getting closer to him, already feeling himself be dragged by the heating feeling but a ring resonated loudly coming from Cartman's pocket making him stop in tracks.

Cartman took out his phone to check who it was, immediately answering the incoming call.

"Yentle?" He beamed excited, biting his nails intrigued, holding on to the phone for dear life.

Slightly walking away from him as he indulge in the conversation he was having.

"Ofcourse I'm available!" He exclaimed, almost forgetting he was being watch by three pair of eyes, "Yeah, yeah! I'll pick you up, see you there." And with that he hang up before walking away.

"Hey, what the fuck dude!?" He finally exclaimed angry, "are you chickenin' out?" He excused his jealous and disappointed outburst.

Cartman didn't bothered looking back, "Yentle just asked me out on a date! I ain't losing my chances by spending my time on you losers," he answered casually, his voice growing lower as he was far apart.

"What about your dare, fatboy!" Stan screamed offended.

"Eh, I'll do it later, bye faggots!" Gesturing them the middle finger as he ditched them running away.

He tsk, clenching his fist tightly.

He couldn't bat an eye that night, still anger eating every inch of his body digging his nails against his skin until he felt blood dripping out from his palms, he tried distracting himself scrolling through his phone but he immediately regretted it as he saw a post from Yentle of a photo of her and Cartman infront of a movie theater; fatass laying his head on her shoulders smiling widely as she peace signed.

Caption: 'best night ever! 📌 @ EricCart_brah'

Cartman was the first to comment back with a 'madly in love with the most beautiful jew💕'

He threw harshly his phone to the wall in a huff, as he grunted under the covers, digging his nails furious in his pillow.

°°°°

"God, what happened to your screen?" Stan asked as he eyed his phone.

"It's just the screen protector," he mustered out not with much energy, scrolling endlessly on his social media.

He was in a bad mood.

Cartman and Kenny walked their way, and he greeted 'cheerfully', "hey, gay chicken."

"Seriously, Kahal? Is this how we are gonna play," Cartman rolled his eyes, but his smirk never vanished, "you guys should guess what happened yesterday."

"What?" Stan asked, glancing his way.

"I finally asked Yentle if we can go out this Friday night, I'm planning to finally ask her to be my girlfriend," he said cheerful, pride spread in those upward curled lips.

"Congrats man, wish you luck"

"Why thank you, Stan," he kept smiling, now glancing at him, "not gonna say anything, Kyel?"

"What's there to say? You're a gay chicken, wussed out on a dare."

"I did not wuss out on my dare, in a matter of fact I did it this morning. Kenny gave it to me the moment I stood out from my house," he defensively gesture Kenny who raised his hands in surrender.

"Oh shit, really?," Stan interested peeked in, "what did you give him, Ken?"

Kenny smirked taking out his phone.

"Dude, you did not smack Heidi Turners ass," Stan said baffled eying the video of Cartman doing exactly that at a pissed off Heidi.

"He also got the whopping of his life," Kenny added howling in laughter.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Cartman roll his eyes to that, "atleast she didn't accused me for sexual harassment."

"Oh shit, now that I look closer, you cover up your bruises with makeup?" Stan eyed Cartman closer.

"Yup, I have to look good for Yentle today, we're gonna go out for lunch this evening," Cartman explained with added disinterest.

"She did you bad," Stan continued snickering as he kept watching the video; now Heidi had Cartman pinned down in the ground punching him on the face endlessly a whining Cartman was heard in full blast.

'NAAH!! STOPP HEIDI STOPP! BWAAAAAH!'

'YOU PIECE OF SHIT!'

'AHHHH!! NYAAAH!'

'QUIT CRYING I DIDN'T EVEN PUNCHED YOU THAT TIME!?'

'¡YoU hIt mE iN mY aRm!'

With that they burst in to laughter and he couldn't help but smile because that was indeed hilarious. Cartman huffed, crossing his arms while they kept pissing themselves with all that humorous cry.

He glance at Cartman's lips, the disappointing feeling surging up again, watching back in sadness the road.

He waited until lunch time to grab Cartman by the collar, dragging him out to the back of the school.

"Owe! Kahal, what the fuck!?" He whined in protest finally letting go, "Jesus you've been acting like some rabid hymen."

"It's hyena, dumbass," he deadpan corrected, "you've never back down from a fight, fatass what's your deal?"

"What?," Cartman blurted out confused, "I haven't back down on anything, didn't you see how I took Heidi's ass whooping? That's some determination I got there."

"I'm talking about the challenge! You bailed like a complete pussy!" He screamed in an acussing manner.

Cartman eyed him amused, "OHH– I completely forgot about that shit."

"Ofcourse you did, cause now days you've only been a whipped bitch. You're completely acting like a love stuck Stan."

"Aye! Low blow right there! I'm in love, and being in love changes you in many ways, Kahal! I'm distracted cause I don't want to lose my chance with Yentle. I got alot of competition out there, dude! Try to understand where I'm coming from.

I'm still me and I won't change for some chick," he exclaimed frustrated, exhaling heavily as he rubbed his temples, "I just want to make things serious with Yentle and I'll go back to my usual self, kahal.

Yentle is special to me, I don't want to lose her."

He huffed crossing his arm, dismissively.

"Then lets finished were we left off," he sneered, causing Cartman to raise his brows in surprise.

"What? You mean like.. right now?" Eying the isolated area before looking his way, "wouldn't that make it gay..? I mean, we're completely alone and there's no other witnesses here and-"

"Chicken?"

"No! I just- I think it's kinda weird to suggest.. I don't think I'm comfortable knowing there's no one else.. the whole point about witnesses is for it to seem it's a challenge and not two boys seemingly wanting to experiment," he kept on blabbering, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Fine," he spat sternly, looking for the first stray dog he could find, placing it in front of them, "there. Now there's a witness, comfortable now, fatass?."

Cartman arched a brow looking at the dog that was licking its balls, scratching his head in confusion.

"I don't know.. it kinda feels like you're actually desperate for me to–"

"KISS ME OR I'LL FOREVER CALL YOU A CHICKEN BACKTRACKING LOSER"

"Alright Goddamn!" Cartman exclaimed nervously ceading in, "who put you such immense piles of sand up your vagina," he mumbled out, before tentatively placing his chubby hand on his shoulders.

He leaned instantly closing the small gap between them, finally feeling himself relaxed from that previous tension. He cupped Cartman's cheeks deepening the kiss, flavoring Cartman's mouth as he licked them entirely before shoving his tongue in him receiving a 'hmph!' From Cartman who kept his hands still on his shoulders seemingly not moving a single muscle just letting him lead the entire thing.

He frowned already feeling the lack of hand grabbing from the opposite; with Stan and Kenny he was all over the place but with him he was all stiff and tense, it was really making him feel unwanted.

Which technically he was.. but still.

He began gently caressing Cartman's cheek with his thumb, kissing him in small pecks before deepening it further, somehow trying to make Cartman realize his feelings with the connection they're making.

He felt Cartman's hands carefully place on his neck before sliding down his chest, slowly backing himself away breaking the kiss. Eying him fanatically, still grasping what happened.

"I think.. I'll accept defeat just this once," he winced out almost pitying, removing his hands off pushing him lightly away.

He looked his way with his mouth agape, swallowing hard as he saw Cartman stand up. He didn't bother looking at him as he walked off, he knew damn well Cartman just rejected his ass.

Theres no damn way Cartman wouldn't had realized his feelings by that point, he may be stupid but he wasn't that stupid.

He felt his cheeks reddened with embarrassment as tears fell their way down, feeling his throat dry up as he clenched his fist frustrated, ashamed, humiliated and defeated.

°°°°

"I'm giving you a one in lifetime opportunity here, Kyle," Cartman said while laying on his bed with his arms behind his neck, "I'm letting this slide for the sake of our broship."

He had decided to go talk with Cartman after three dense days with out giving each other a single glance, luckily it didn't seemed to be questioned by their gang.

Cartman had different classes as him out of those three days sharing atleast two classes in each day, if you exclude wednesday where it was actually one. So it wasn't outta the ordinary to not be seen around together even though at the bus stop it was very noticeable the bickery absence of the two.

Gosh, he was even pronouncing his name correctly.

"Look, dude, I personally don't want to ruined what we have."

"And I COMPLETELY agree with you on that, jew. But it's kinda hard to not act like things haven't changed if you keep giving me the googly eyes," Cartman added with a weird hand gesture signaling his eyes as he bashed his eyelashes in a dramatic effect.

"I'm not giving you "the googly eyes", fatass," he spat dryly, "I just want things to be normal between us, that's it."

"Uhuh," he rolled his eyes, seemingly not believing that.

"What?"

"Nothing–" he dragged his word, before getting off from bed, "look, just.. don't expect me to correspond of some shit like that. I may be quarter bi but that doesn't mean I have to go and accept any confused jew my way," he exclaimed not so long, placing his hands on his hips.

"I'm in love with Yentle, and I'm planning to make her my girlfriend this Friday and I don't want you getting in my way from doing that," he pointed accusatory at him

He couldn't help but roll his eyes, "Okay, fine. Friends?"

"Rivals," he corrected with a soft smile.

He frowned, but nodded reluctantly after a few seconds.

"Okay, but– now that you know about my-"

"Kahal, you better not come to me with that shit of being some clingy obnoxious pursuer, I made myself clear to you that NO gay shit!

Just us, being completely ourselves, the normal casual 'i do that, you disagree with that" type of stuff."

"Fine. But I can't promise you shit."

"Wooow, fine whatever. Just don't ruin my thing with Yentle and I won't try killing you," he shrugged, before looking through his closet, "do you want to.. play video games?"

He supposed their was no choice but to reluctantly having to accept the 'no' just this once. Even if that meant having to see the boy he's been pursuing for almost the entire years of his life get entangled with a girl who knows so little about him.

"Sure, but I take the white controller."

"What!? Nu-huh, kahal, that's the good controller!"

Even if he still didn't manage to fully do what they agreed on, having a couple of slips and making some moves on Cartman. It was still inevitable to prevent him from marrying the woman he hopelessly fell in love with and now building a family together after finishing their college years.

He won't deny Yentle has done a great job on calming Cartman down as a person, being experienced in the matter, he felt quite envious. But grateful too.

Sometimes he wonder, if he had manage to convince himself on falling to Cartman's little set up play with Yentle, would things have been different?

“Uncle Kyle, uncle Kyle!” He heard Moisha call him from outside his house, entering his home like if it were his own like a complete Cartman would. Menorah following behind, beaming.

“We got the best of news!” The girl exclaimed, now both children stood infront of him while he was just laying on the couch with a glass of wine.

“Let me guess, your father finally divorced your mother?” He responded quite unresponsive, eyes drifted to the ceiling, definetly the alcohol talking.

“Dont be silly, uncle Kyle!” Moisha ignore his obvious remark, already very use to his bitterly attitude by now, “my dad is gonna take us to disney world next week!”

“Oh, how fun,” he said sarcastically, before resting his head on the couch leaning deep of the abyss comfort as he closed his eyes.

Moisha climb the couch gripping on his shoulders shaking him frantically, “uncle Kyle stop being such a sore loser because our dad rejected your ass in high school and listen to usssss!”

“Alright, what?” He spat almost shoving the boy off, but was met with the most pleading big eyes. He soften now looking at both children.

Moisha jump back on his heels next to his sister still beaming happily, “papa said we can take two friends along with us, we were wondering if we can take Adam and Eve with us?”

He stare blankly in thought. The idea of letting his children go with the Cartman's thrilled him in many ways. But then again..

“Dont you guys not get along? Im pretty sure Adam doesn’t like you Moisha.”

“But he likes Menorah! And we don’t really have many other friends their parent would trust enough to let them go with us on a trip that long,” he admitted, sadness appearing in both their face.

“How long exactly this is?”

“Two days!”

“Pretty much the weekend, but daddy is gonna get us back on the road before 8 of the night so we arrive at south park early before school!

So mr perfect attendance won’t miss school either, and our mom and dad would be switching turns so you don’t have to worry about sleep crashing like the paranoid ass you are,” Menorah now added, also a small insult towards Adam's way.

Not that he was faze by it either, those two didn’t get along at all, but he resonated with his son’s determination to pursue the girl he likes so much.

Ironically also being a Cartman, maybe even hopeful he could have the luck or chance he wasn't given.

“Well, if you convince Adam on going, then sure, why not?” He shrugged before sipping on his wine while both kids cheered excitedly while dashing back outside.

°°°°

"The fuck dad!?" He heard his son scream from the living room slamming the front door while he was making a sandwich in the kitchen counter.

"Hmm?" He mustered still unfazed by the curses his way, finally giving a bite to his sandwich now eyeing his raged son who glared from the frame door.

"You told the Cartman's I'll be going to their lame ass trip!?"

"Well, not exactly completely settle things out–" the phone ring and he pick it up, still munching on his sandwich. "Hello? Oh, hey fatass. Yeah dude, your kids told me already," he glanced Adam's way, who was basically murdering him with a stare, "totally cool for me, was just— talking to Adam about it he's super thrilled to go. Yeah, okay. Alright then it's settle, Friday morning you can pick up my kids, m-hmm Alright, bye."

And with a clack, he hang up.

"Okay, now it's settle." He finished, giving another bite of his sandwich, now placing it on a plate.

"Dude! I had plans this Saturday. Me and the guys are going to the haunted mansion of Donovans!"

"Was. I already told Cartman you and Eve are going."

"Ughhh not fair!" He groaned exasperated.

"You know, back in my day me and your uncles would've died by the idea of going to Disneyland," he commented nostalgic, opening the fridge and grabbing some juice.

"Yeah, it's sooo fun to go to a place of greedy money eating homophobic mother fuckers and mascots that sexually assault their target audience. How fucking exciting—" he stated sarcastically, "Oh and let me add being around the most cringe lovingly family of all South Park!"

"C'mon it's not that bad."

"Would you stay a night at the Cartman's!?" He declared incredulous.

"I would if I could," he mustered, not paying much mind and grabbing a glass.

"Ugh, here you go again with your creepy obsession with uncle Eric."

"In my defense he started it!" He barked back pointing accusing, "it doesn't matter, you're going to disneyland you like it or not."

"Agh! I hate you!" He grunted out loud before storming off to his room.

He sighed drinking his orange juice.

Having a family himself he's learned to mellow down his anger, but not so surprisingly his children heritage his.. attributes. Or as Cartman would say his 'Jewish rage'.

Anyone would think he'd keep himself away from finding love elsewhere even if he has to repress his urges on pursuing a married man.

Though, during that period of love searching he only found a woman who eventually cheated on him with the Amazon deliver guy and in all honesty didn't love at all, but it really left him feeling bitter about it.

Only good that came out from that reckless marriage was his children: Adam and Eve.

Adam has always been a caring and nice boy, but ever since his mother abandoned them he's become quite rebellious. Though, he truly doesn't blame him.

And Eve, however, was very young when their mother decided to bail so she didn't seem to take the affect as bad as Adam did. She did feel the absence of a mother figure but she's the same as always; sweet, caring and loving.

Sometimes he wonder how the hell did Cartman manage to he a better father than him?

"Okay, is that it?" Cartman asked shoving two small suitcases closing the truck.

"Yeah, that's all of it," he stated now looking at his children, Eve getting inside the car and being warmly welcome by Mrs. Cartman with a baby in arms.

Adam on the other hand watched reluctantly at the two other children who peeked from the window.

"C'mon you little wuss, what's taking you so long!?" Menorah mustered out loud, annoyed.

"Don't call me a wuss, you bitch!" Adam hissed back, glaring.

Yeah, his ways weren't very affectionate or romantic at the minimum.

But Adam never grew tired of ranting how 'cute Menorah's frown was' or that she looked 'cute with the new hair ties' she'd use. Being victim of his son's caramelized crush, having to endure hearing all of his mix rants about how Menorah was both an 'hypocrite little snake' to a 'adorable sweet caring girl'.

"Don't call me a bitch you ass licker!"

"Don't call me an ass licker you–"

"Can you guys both shut the fuck already and get inside," Moisha chimed in bored, "pussy whipped."

"Shut up fatboy, don't tell me what to do!" He spat, before reluctantly entering the car and slamming the door harshly.

"Aye! I ain't fat you dumb jew!"

"I swear, Moisha I would not hesitate on punching you on that smug face of yours and you're also jewish you dumbass!"

"It's MOISHE not Moisha! M-O-I- SH-EEEE pronounce it right!"

"Language children!" Cartman scold a little too late, not taking it too seriously as he cleaned the lenses of his glasses unbothered. But they all kept their voices low after that, "anyways, I'll call once we're there," he added heading towards the car and entering the driver seat, following behind he leaned against the window knocking lightly as Cartman lower the window.

Both Cartman and Yentle looking confused at him.

"Just wanted to wish you guys a nice trip and–" he smirked mischievous, seeing how Cartman turned the engine on, "I'm— sailing away set an open ofcourse for the virgin sea~"

"Goddammit, Kahaaal!" Cartman screamed frustrated hitting the wheel, holding it out before bursting, " 'CAUSE I'VE GOT TO BE FREE FREE TO FACE THE LIFE THAT'S AHEAD OF ME‐" he kept singing now driving off with confused children and a concerned wife at his full care.

He snickered as he watched the car leave from sight.

It wasn't too bad being given a no.

Though, now he wasn't sure if he could consider Cartman as family.

Prev.

[darlenicy]

Winx Rewatch: 1x12

a.k a. leni watches Winx

okay, okay but before we start: I’m gonna mention how the episode might be seen as problematic in the following. However, I don’t think that rainbow had any bad intentions scripting this episode. It’s a filler episode that shows us how mean the Trix are. Point. That’s it. It’s not intended to harm anyone. But I will come to this later.

Bloom: The nine nymphs are sculpted on the facade. The middle nymph is Daphne.

➡ And I will say it again. You don’t get sculpted in the facade of a temple, if you’re only 16 years dead. It has to be longer ago ago.

Not Paladium sounding as he didn’t fkn care if Stella was ill ir something after Bloom said, Stella had been to the infirmary this morning. 😆

Icy: You remember Lucy? She asked me if we could help her win the beauty contest.  😈

➡ Darcy:  She’s got bats in the belfry   😆

➡ Stormy: She doesn’t need us to win. She needs a MIRACLE.

➡ That’s just one of the best disses of the Trix everrrrr I can’t.

➡ And now before you stone me: 

Yes, I can see why people find this episode problematic. After the waves of body-positivity etc. I can see why. However, this episode has to show us how mean the Trix are. They use Lucy simply for entertaining themselves. They are mean. Yes, and this episode has to show that to us. And I think, the way they diss Lucy is very well written. And I find it mean, what they do. But after all, being mean is their job. I am not a fan of beauty contests at all. They often deliver a wrong image of perfectionism that I don’t share. And again, that is me. Some people might find validation in it. After all, people are all different. However there is a certain beauty standard, that most people share. And one can not deny, that Lucy does not fulfill this one. The intention of her design is being ..ugly. Truth hurts sometimes but it is. If you compare Lucy to her new fake-appereance one has to admit, that most people would prefer the latter. And it IS mean, that Lucy couldn’t win the contest with her real looks. But it’s a beauty contest after all, those stupid contests are superficial af. Again, this episode doesn’t want to show us, haha lucy is ugly, it wants to show us uhhh the trix are mean bitches. The second thing, that is criticized is this scene:

There was a YouTube short recently, that showed this scene and marked it as problematic. Bloom hears a girl crying and looks what happened and than the girl here said, that her hair suddenly puffed up. Now, many people consider this as racism because of how the hair style turning into an afro is described as something bad. HOWEVER, if you search for racism, you will find it anywhere. I, as a little kid, always understood it in a different way. She wasn’t complaining about the look of hair hair but of the consistency.

When Bloom touches it, it is all wobbly. Not like a normal afro should be. So it is the texture of her hair that changed. And yes, the girl said, she had straight her before but it’s her hair getting wobbly which made her upset. I can see how especially for people with afro-like hair see this as a discrimination. And it sucks, but I think that rainbow did not want you to feel bad at all. The scene is risky, yes. It could have been scripted better, yes. But I doubt, that there was any harm intended. 

To sum this up, I don’t like the episode too much. It’s a filler episode and a bit boring too. (But it’s nice to see the trix having fun ngl). And I can see why many people don’t feel well watching it. But we should all keep in mind, that rainbow created this show for little girls. To make them happy, to make them belief in themselves and not to question their style. Winx has so much diversity in it, so that everyone can relate to the characters and I love that. I just hope, I could take the bitterniss a bit out of this episode, if you were offended by it. I just want to remind, that Winx is overall a series of great diversity and positivity that certainly doesn’t want to harm the watchers in any way. Okay, let’s continue the episode:

What makes the episode way more problematic, than it actually is, IS following:

WHAT are Faragonda and Griselda doing there? Isn’t it mostly teachers who should not support these kind of events? And btw, there isn’t much audience there, is it? Maybe Miss Magix is a super odd contest, which nearly no one under 40 is watching in the magical dimension, who knows.  😂

what would have made the episode better too, would have been if the viewer would think, that Lucy’s talent, doing ballet, at least would be real. But the sparks surrounding her suggest, that the Trix also gave her that talent. Which is a pity. It would be cool, if Lucy would excel in ballet.

Yes Bloom, of course there has to be something going on if a person dares not to be immediately nice to you. Omg Bloom, whyy. Stop being such a bratty main character.

ngl I never quite understood, how Stella thought dancing like that is a talent. but hey. It’s kinda nice that they gave her a funny talent like this and not something girly.

It’s also super mean that Stella gets an F for her test later. I mean, she DID something in the test. It wasn’t all good, but her intions were right, weren’t they? Mean of Paladium. a D or an E would have been rough enough imo.

[yuhenglesbian]

Nine Percent Reacting to Your Depression

Pairing: Nine Percent x Reader (multiple scenarios)

Requested by: Anon

Prompt: Nine Percent reacting to you confessing about your depression

Genre: Reactions; Bullet Point Scenario

Trigger Warning: Depression; Mentions of Self-Harm; Mentions of Self-Esteem Issues

Word Count:  (total)

A/N: I’m only sticking to the confession and how they come to that point in this. The thing with depression is that there’s a lot of ways in which it plays out– depending on the individual and the type of depression (bipolar depression, for instance is different than unipolar depression in it’s symptoms). Also this feels mildly ooc for the members because honestly, I don’t know how China views depression and other such disorders so I don’t know how much they’d know about it. 

Idk what you’re facing, dear anon who dropped this request but I hope you’re okay. If you need someone to talk to, always feel free to drop in. Love you and I’m sorry about delaying this so much.

Anon, this is so many years late, idek if you're still on tumblr but ah. This spiralled me into an episode of my own and then life got extremely busy. Here's what little I'd written until then, unedited mostly. I hope you're here with us still. Love you.

Cai Xukun:

Xukun found out when found you crying with the medication in your hands because you were too tired of all the medications and still having to deal with “this shit” as you described it to him. It wasn’t easy for you to tell him about it because you didn’t want to burden him with your problems when he was already dealing with so much– what with being the leader and center of Nine Percent and the lawsuit with his old company and crazy fans.

“Just because I have problems doesn’t mean I can’t listen to yours,” he told you when you tried to explain to him how you didn’t want to burden him. “You always listen to me, Y/N so it’s the least I can do.”

Before you knew it he was hugging you, patting your head,  cooing gently because unbeknownst to you, you’d started crying at his words. Once you’d stopped crying, you told him everything– explaining everything slowly and as you best could.

“I’m sorry,” were the first words out of his mouth. “I know that doesn’t make things okay,” he continued, “and that there’s probably nothing I can do to make things okay. The only thing I can do is promise you that I’ll always be there if you want me around– even if I’m not physically there, I’ll always be there.”

Chen Linong:

Linong has always known– even if he didn’t know the exact words, he’s noticed and he tries his best to cheer you up when he notices that you’re in one of your blue moods.

It’s on the day that he finds you crying over your books because you feel so worthless and drained that he asks you why– “why are you crying, Y/N?”

It’s a simple question but he’s sitting next to you, his eyes full of concern and worry at how the person he loves is falling apart. “Why do you love me, Nongnong?” you ask him instead of asking, tears falling as you meet his eyes. “You could do so much better than my sad, pitiful ass. Why do you even love me when you deserve way better.”

The question shocks him and his worry hits the roof– this is a side he’s never seen, not with him in particular anyway. He knows you have bad days and days when things are hard but this– this is new, you’ve never doubted his love for you or your relationship before. “Because I do,” he tells you. “Why would you ask me something so sad– you know how much you mean to me, Y/N.”

“Because I am sad, Nongnong,” you say, wiping away tears, “and I feel like I’m always sad.”

He pulls you into a hug, rubbing your back gently. “Why?” he asks.

That’s when you explain to him– how you were diagnosed with clinical depression, the symptoms, how there’s nothing to make things better because “it’s all in my head for real because my head is a messed up place” and all the medication you need to take. He listens– not interrupting you even once as you explain things the best you can.

“It’ll be okay,” he says, quietly once you’re done. You open your mouth to protest, to tell him that they won’t but he cuts you off before you can. “I know they don’t seem like they will be– or maybe I don’t know enough about it to feel the way you do– but Y/N, you have to believe. Maybe they won’t permanently be okay but they’ll be better than how they are right now– you’ll feel better than you are now. Maybe it’ll take ages to even get to that point, but I’ll be here throughout the way. Even when things are hard, even when they’re good. I’ll always be here for you. So you don’t have to deal with this alone ever again, I promise, okay?”

Fan Chengcheng:

Fan Chengcheng knows depression– maybe not first hand– but he knows it because he’s seen too many of his sister’s famous friends deal with it. He’s read about it because no one would tell him and he’s felt himself relating to some of the symptoms on some days. So he knows depression.

He also knows you– he’s known you for a long, long time and the world would be damned if he can’t tell something is wrong with the person he’s loved for years. He’ll also be damned if he can’t recognise some of the symptoms he’s read about.

So when he drops the question to you– extremely casually, as if he was asking you about the weather– he’s hoping that it’s only his overactive thoughts and that you’re not actually going through it. The question and the casual tone shock you enough to ask how he knows, indirectly confessing.

His eyebrows furrow with concern. “Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N?” he asks you, his voice more serious than it had been just moments ago.

“There’s nothing to tell, Cheng,” you say, sighing. “You can’t do anything about it, can you?” you add, and he bites back whatever he was going to say.

“I know I can’t,” he concedes after a few minutes, “but at least I could have been there for you rather than you dealing with all of it alone– I’ve seen so many people deal with it, I know it isn’t easy for you and I’d want to be there for you no matter how bad things get. So please, Y/N, let me be there for you.”

Huang Minghao/Justin:

Minghao is worried– it’s been a week since you’ve showed even the slightest interest in anything he’s been saying– all you offer him anymore are indulgent, polite smiles and he’s slightly hurt and very worried because while he’s used to being treated like a child by everyone but he’s never had you treat him in this manner.

So when you smile at him and politely refuse to join him for a round of Counterstrike, it’s the final straw before he blows up.

“Just what is your problem!?” he asks, hotly. “Why are you of all people treating me like a child? Are you tired of me? Do you want me gone?”

The outburst leaves both of you silent and when you look up at him, he’s crying. “Hao,” you say softly, guilt seeping through you– you never wanted to hurt him.

“Don’t call me that,” he says, petulantly as he sits down on the seat in front of yours. “I’m mad at you. That nickname is a cheat.”

His childishness makes you smile your real smile for the first in the week. “Hao,” you try again, “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to hurt you like this at all.”

He turns to look at you, frowning slightly. “Then why’d you do it?” he asks. “Is everything okay?” he prompts when you don’t answer.

“Not really,” you reply honestly after a few minutes. “Everything isn’t alright.”

Minghao doesn’t respond, waiting patiently for an explanation that he knows he’s almost gotten out of you. You sigh, bracing yourself before you tell him about your depression and everything that comes with it– the lack of motivation to do anything and the constant feeling of loneliness and hopelessness that have been weighing you down all week among other symptoms that come and go as they please. He listens patiently, interrupting only when he needs an explanation for something.

There’s silence once you’re done as he processes things. “I’m sorry,” he says, after a few minutes have passed. “I didn’t know at all. I really thought you’d grown tired of me.”

You smile sadly and hug him. “I’d never be tired of you, Hao,” you tell him. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I was so caught up with myself, I didn’t realize I was hurting you.”

He pulls away, frowning. “Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault,” he says. “You didn’t ask to go through all this and I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you. I promise I’ll be a more reliable person for you from now so that you don’t have to feel like you’re fighting this alone ever again.”

Lin Yanjun:

When Yanjun walks in, your apartment is a mess and you’re nowhere in sight. It’s surprising because you usually keep everything organised– you love keeping things in place and making sure everything got done on time; it was something he’d always admired about you. He steps over the massive pile of shoes and crumpled paper near the door and invites himself inside deciding that something has happened and whatever it is, it is a pretty big deal to make such a slob of you.

He finds you curled up on the bean bag in the living room in front of an open television– which he switches off promptly, rolling his eyes part amazed at how good you are at falling asleep anywhere, anytime. You turn in your sleep, facing up and Yanjun notices the tear stains on your face. He frowns, his concern cementing.

“Y/N,” he whispers, shaking you gently.

You wake up almost immediately and he smiles. “Hey, sweetie,” he says, leaning closer and planting a kiss on your cheek, making you smile even though you’re tearing up at the gentleness with which he treats you.

“I’m so sorry,” you tell him, when he wordlessly wipes a tear away. “I’m a mess today,” you add, laughing half-heartedly.

“A hot mess,” he smirks playfully even as he pulls you into a comforting hug, his careful and concerned gestures making you cry even more. “What happened, baby?” he asks, when you don’t stop crying even at the greasiness of his pick up line. Something was definitely not right if you didn’t even tell him to stop using greasy pick up lines.

You sigh, wiping your eyes– a little too roughly for Yanjun’s comfort. “I hate this,” you tell him. “I hate how I am– how I’m feeling.”

Yanjun raises an eyebrow wordlessly, waiting for you to elaborate. “I hate being so fucking sad all the time,” you say, evidently angry. “I hate not having enough motivation to do anything. I hate crying all the time. I can’t even remember the last time I ate something which wasn’t ice cream from the freezer. I hate being depressed,” you go on, angry tears beginning to fall.

Yanjun instinctively hugs you, burying your face in his chest as he gently strokes your hair. “I hate it so much, Yanjun,” you say between sobs.

“I’m so sorry baby,” he coos, rocking you gently. “I’m so sorry you have to deal with so much and that I’m never there.”

“Please don’t leave me,” you mumble into his chest. “I know I’m sad and pathetic but please don’t leave. I don’t want you to leave.”

“I’m not leaving, Y/N,” he replies, kissing the top of your head and tightening the hug he has you in. “I’m never leaving. I love you and that means I’m here for your good and your bad, okay? I’ll always be here, baby.”  

Zhu Zhengting:

Telling Zhengting isn’t hard. On the contrary, it’s probably the easiest thing you’ve done this week– it’s also the only decision you’re proud to have made. You’re not a believer of “our love can fix everything wrong” because it’s not true but when Zhengting pulls you close wrapping his arms around you and burying his nose in your hair– you let yourself believe that love can fix everything for a brief moment.

You’ve always known you were drawn to Zhengting partly because he was so caring: looking out for everyone around him came so naturally to him, you both resented and admired it. When he had extended that care to you, inevitably making you a part of his close-knit world, you’d fallen hard and fast– both thankful and flattered for the tender, careful manners with which he treated you.

It’s one of the few things you admit to him when you explain that you hadn’t meant to scare him when he comes over to your apartment– breathless and adamant, asking for an explanation for why you’ve drawn progressively away from him all month. It scares you a little, both the thought of losing him and the thought of him caring so much.

“Please tell me if you’re okay,” he pleads. “If it was something I did– just tell me. Please.”

It breaks you to hear how tired he sounds– how scared he sounds and your tears fall of their own accord after a month of running dry. They only fall faster when Zhengting pulls you into a hug, concern evident in his voice as he repeatedly asks you if you’re okay. “I’m sorry,” is all you can muster through the tears.

He sits with you, waiting patiently for you to stop crying and then making sure you’re hydrated as he makes an off-hand comment about all the takeout boxes in your kitchen. And then he waits some more as you explain everything you’ve felt over the past month– the repetitive thoughts telling you that you’re worthless, to give in and finally let go; the anxiety of not being wanted and of not being good enough and by the end of it, you’re crying again.

“I was so scared, Ting,”  you admit between sobs that make his heart wrench in pain for you. All he can do is pull you into a hug because he doesn’t want to make unfaithful promises of things getting better when the future has always been so uncertain.

“I know, baby,” he mumbles, burying his nose in your hair. “I’m so sorry. I’m here now, okay? I’ll be here now– you don’t have do this alone anymore.”

Wang Linkai/Xiao Gui:

Telling Linkai is simple– explaining to him is even simpler. It surprises you for a little while when he listens to you quietly as you explain to him why you’ve been avoiding everyone and everything but the surprise soon gives way to realisation when you remember how much time he has spent around Xingjie and who he is as an artist.

“You could have told me sooner,” is all he tells you, however before he leaves almost as soon as you’re done explaining.

Linkai can’t lie to your face and he certainly can’t lie about two important things: He can’t tell you that you’ll necessarily be okay because he’s going to be there for you from here on out– that’s in the future and he can’t guarantee the future no matter how much he wants to. He also can’t lie and tell you that he isn’t hurt because he is. He’s hurt and angry that you didn’t trust him enough to tell him sooner even though he understands why you couldn’t have.

So he leaves.  He aware that leaving without any explanations is the last thing he should do but he needs a walk to clear his head and sort his thoughts. All he can hope is that you don’t take his leaving in the wrong way and wait for a little while until he can find the right words to tell you.

It’s past midnight when he returns to your apartment, only to find you in the living room curled up on your couch cuddling with the cat he swears is your actual boyfriend. “Y/N,” he calls out, making you turn towards the door.

“Kaikai?” you stutter, your eyes glazing over with relief– you’d been so sure he was gone for good. You want to say something else but he crosses the room to pulls you into a hug– the type that he reserves only for really emotional events. “I love you,” he tells you.

Those are the only words he tells you for the rest of the night. He only hopes you can understand everything he wants to say but can only act on. He can’t do anything for you– he can’t make you empty promises like they do in movies because he knows only too well how unpredictable the future is and he can’t make you okay– but he can stay for as long as you need him. He hopes that his sincerity can reach you when he holds you closer as you fall asleep in his arms.

[vidavalor]

SamBucky friends...

...they aren't divorced. They're dating and on separate missions.

I would even bet that those missions do not stay separate for very long. Who knows if I'm correct but...

While Cap 4 is going to be great just because it's Sam's movie and what's already known about the plot and new and returning cast sounds excellent, there's also almost no way Bucky's not in it. The dude sorta comes with the shield. He's actually kind of the human embodiment of it as he's the character who is consistently in all of them. Sixty years from now, when they're on Cap 16 centered around Sam and Bucky's great-great-grandchild, they're going to hologram Sebastian Stan into these things from beyond the grave lol. That said? You can't make a movie without some conflict but breathe, breathe, I said 'conflict', not 'divorce'... conflict is not always bad.

Conflict is two guys who are dating and on separate missions seeing their missions collide at some point. You can't tell me that Bucky's joining this Thunderbolts thing and Sam's Captain America and those paths are *never* going to cross *ever again*? I mean, they spent all of TFATWS setting up Walker and giving him conflict with Sam and Bucky for a reason. Then, there's Secret Invasion, yeah? Nick Fury's come back around looking a little rough and declaring keeping the bad aliens who are taking over the planet from being successful his own personal mission. He's going to need a new team for that. Like... *gestures at all of the characters in the other shows*... and that includes Sam and Bucky. Hell, Rhodey is in the trailer talking to Fury about what's going on and Rhodey's first phone call is going to be to Sam. Secret Invasion is going to be the whole next phase of The Avengers, in the sense that it's going to pull together all the stories, right? Sam and Bucky will at least cross paths there. Will they make us watch their separate stories before that?

Maybe. I'd doubt, though, that they'll be all that separate. The one problem with the end of TFATWS is that it was so overwhelmingly positive and happy that it means that something is going to come about to create a next beat of story. *Not* a divorce-- just, as I said above, some conflict. What about a story where both Sam and Bucky are trying to do the right thing in the moment but those are different things and they have to figure out how to get through that? What if one of them is replaced by a Skrull? There's a thousand different options but I think the conflict between them is largely going to be giving them things to do at this point lol. In fic, we're fine with them fixing boats and eating seafood forever but in the movie, there has to be some plot, sadly. Especially after TFATWS basically was a fanfic for 2 episodes. Also?

The biggest reason to keep Bucky's role in Cap 4 lowkey is because they actually can't get too far into it without revealing a plot twist. I would think it might something along the lines of Sam is on a mission while Bucky is on a separate mission but at some point in the movie, Tim Blake Nelson's activities are linked to the Thunderbolts and now we've got Sam and Bucky trying to figure all that out. I also saw the movie described as "a paranoid thriller" (which sounds excellent) and that, plus Rhodey working with Fury in the Secret Invasion trailer and being friends with Sam, makes me think Cap 4 might tie to Secret Invasion. (Isn't Tim Blake Nelson's character named something like "The Leader"? Of the bad skrulls maybe? I don't know, not hugely into the comics so all this could be way off but...) It would seem to me that Fury and Rhodey would want to involve Sam in their circle because if the bad guys are replacing leaders in government and all that, it would be helpful if Captain America were aware of that and helping to stop it, right? Maybe the paranoid thriller aspect comes from Sam isn't sure who to trust and so he pulls in the people around him that he knows will have his back, like Joaquin. If that's the case, you mean to tell me this movie's not going to have Bucky in it? A paranoid thriller starring Sam does not feature his husband, whose life is a literal walking Cold War thriller plot? lol That said!

I'd also point out that Sam is too trusting. He's almost too good a man. He's so interesting because he's not naive by any means but he also has an earnestness about him, in which he wants to believe that people are good so much that, that they will appeal to the better angels of their natures if given a chance, that he sometimes misses the impact of a decision. For example, Sam actually completely and totally thought that if he gave the shield to the Smithsonian, that the bad guys in government would just leave it in the display case in the exhibit as part of Steve's legacy and call it a day. He didn't see that Marvelverse MAGA would jump at the opportunity to use the political power of the shield to trash the positive bits of what it once stood for and try, like the gross fascists they are, to use it for their own ends. The one who did see that coming is Bucky-- because Bucky is different from Sam in this way. Bucky still believes in all the good that America and Sam and anti-fascists everywhere can do but he has been through enough to be very, very wary of agents of the government. He was left behind, tortured, treated pretty badly, and was still kept on a short rope. He was justifiably paranoid in TFATWS-- he had a secret phone he didn't show his therapist, he didn't talk to her as honestly as he could because he didn't fully trust her since she was appointed by the government... even his paranoia over Redwing isn't unjustified. It was through hacking the government tech in Redwing (that Sam considered his own, and not the government's) that Walker found them. (Notice, then, that one of Bucky's gifts to Sam later in TFATWS are a pair of Redwings that are made by Shuri, whom Bucky trusts more than he does the U.S. government.) Sam gives Bucky hope and makes him a little less cynical but Bucky has Sam's back and makes sure he isn't too unrealistic in his optimism.

So... if you are going to write a Sam-centered paranoid thriller, you actually would probably be best served by holding Bucky back for at least the first third of the movie or else you're going to have Sam too well-protected at the start. The plot will need to simmer and some danger will need to happen and Sam's a very capable guy, don't get me wrong. He'll be kicking ass and taking names. A paranoid thriller, though, makes me feel like the plot is going to be very "who can we trust?!" and there is no. way. on. earth. that Sam's answer to that isn't always that he needs Bucky around him. But *not* having Bucky around at the start, for whatever reason (his own mission, it's his turn to take the kids to school, he's busy online blasting racist trolls who are attacking Rings of Power, I don't know, whatever the reason is lol)... not having Bucky immediately is going to be a thing as the plot builds. They're going to make you *want* Bucky like omg our guys are in deep here and they're not sure who to trust and these bad guys can literally steal someone's face and oh no Rhodey or Joaquin or idk somebody isn't who they seem to be omg Sam!!! so that at some point, Bucky can roll into the plot and make Sam feel safe enough for Sam to save the day. It could be completely hilarious, too, as what are they going to say to one another to prove that they're really them? I demand the actors improvise those lines. :)

Look, even if they make all of Cap 4 without Bucky and, again, I say, he comes with the shield so I'm not even sure this is possible at this point, it is going to be an amazing movie anyway because it's Sam's movie. There's also the idea that Sam could pop up in Thunderbolts as there's almost no way they spent an entire series setting up conflict between Sam and Walker for that not to be explored. Plus, it looks like Bucky has his own project, too? I mean, a Bucky-centric project... Bucky actually likes about four people on the planet so I would assume that Sam might have to at least cameo in that lol. And *still*... even if we get through *all of those projects*... and we still don't have Sam and Bucky interacting...

... that's the whole new "Avengers Assemble" of the Secret Invasion-era plot is for. You just don't build up relationships between characters to eventually do nothing with them ever again and Sam and Bucky have one of the best dynamics in the MCU so I wouldn't worry. We'll see more of their marriage.

[nalanzu]

Weiss Kreuz Episode 7: Entführen

Today I am running on sleep deprivation because my brain is an asshole and thinks it needs to stay up until midnight and then wake up before 5am. This is not likely to make me kinder to bad writing. Nonetheless, we persist.

We start the episode with panicked running children who have numbers on their foreheads and see construction equipment behind them that the terrified children think look like dragons. They're being chased by cackling men on motorcycles. Kid 7 trips and Kid 11 leaves him the fuck behind. The Kid 7 finds Kid 11's corpse after a moment, just in case there was any doubt about the Capital-E Evil of this week's group of villains.

Cut to Omi running. Oh, is this where we learn about Omi's past? Is it finally an Omi focus episode? Omi literally runs into Kid 7, who proceeds to promptly collapse the rest of the way.

Instead of bringing the child to a hospital, Omi carries him back to the flowershop. Ken attempts friendly handling of the child, backed by Omi and Yohji. The kid screams at first, then accepts Yohji's instant coffee (goddammit, Yohji) and they figure out the kid is the son of the CEO of a massive company.

The kid tells them, in the car, that there were more kids and they're all going to be killed and he's terrified and crying again. This is actually a pretty solid depiction of a traumatized kid, which I wish I didn't know, but here we are. Omi, incidentally, is triggered by the word "kidnapping" when Yohji uses it to describe the villainous activity. He then pretends he is not.

Yohji and Omi have driven Kid 7 - Shota - home, instead of to a hospital, or a police station, or notifying any sort of authority. Which, again, we the viewers understand why they're doing this; they and we know that Weiss is about to murder the fuck out of some child traffickers. Let me once again remind you that for everyone else they interact with, who rightly do not possess this knowledge, they look shady AF.

Shota's mother apparently does not find the fact that strange men are returning her child shady AF, which I find very frustrating. She's super hott, and Yohji tries to hit on her, because of course he does. He produces flowers out of nowhere. Omi is annoyed, which is hilarious.

Back at the flowershop, Yohji and Omi are handling a bunch of teenage customers. I should mention that one of the customers - Ouka - has been more or less of a regular, by which I mean she actually has a character design, and she keeps hitting on Omi. This will be important later in the series (this episode, maybe? I can't remember), but honestly it's one of the better uses of foreshadowing that this show does.

Back to the actual narrative - Omi sees a news report about the body of Boy 11, who'd been missing for a week, and then finds an article in the paper. He is shocked and dashes off, and guys, the news is not where you should be getting information for your investigations, ok. He does recognize the name as the one Shota said had been killed.

Naturally, Omi goes right back to Shota and demands information. Did none of them think that maybe there was something to the kid's statements about a bunch of kidnapped kids? Did they think he was so traumatized he made this up or that he was lying?? Guys. GUYS.

In any case, Omi is not gentle in yelling at the still terrified Shota to face his fears, dammit, and tell Omi everything he knows. Omi then gives him some actionable instructions and asks if there's anything he can remember - like specific sounds. Shota is then able to focus on machine sounds and says he saw an eight-headed dragon.

HE STOPPED TO COUNT THE HEADS? JFC.

Shota's mother, now that Shota is calmly talking to Omi instead of sobbing, comes in and tells Omi to leave her kid alone. Where were you 90 seconds ago, lady? Shota also says the location was floating, and Omi leaves.

We cut to the Takatori that's not Aya's nemesis and a conversation about setting up a new experiment. Also about collecting ransoms and kidnapping, as this Takatori hires what are clearly meant to be low-life criminals to kidnap children. The mooks think they're being underpaid for the kidnappings, and that they can get a bigger payday if they go back to Shota and demand ransom from his family directly.

I can't tell if Takatori Jr. is listening to them plot or not, but we do get the name of one of his lady assassins, which is Hell. Because of course it is. This is that kind of show.

All of Shota's missing friends have now been found dead, Omi hears on the news, and the cops have no leads. He has his third or fourth flashback of the episode of running from someone as a child. Cut to Omi hearing the criminal group demanding ransom for Shota, which triggers a flashback of Omi tied up in a dark room as villains told him that his parents refused to pay the ransom and they'd kill him for it.

He also has a memory of being saved and fleeing down a dark tunnel into a bright light. I was about to ask how it was that he stumbled across the kidnapping so quickly, but it was All A Dream as he wakes up screaming in the mission briefing room. This only disturbs the rest of Weiss a little. (It being a dream was the reasonable conclusion to reach, but with this show, one can never make the assumption that the plot is going to do the reasonable thing, ok.)

Weiss is now formally being given the mission to hunt down the - blood was drained and skin peeled off? JFC. That's dark, even for this show. In any case, Kritiker knows exactly who is responsible despite there being no concrete information (HOW) and tells Weiss to go murder them since a police investigation would take too long and might be unsuccessful.

Due process is a thing, Kritiker, ok.

Omi, incidentally, is still pretty fucked up. He ends up outside and Manx comes to check on him. He explains that a suppressed memory is coming back and that he knows he was saved by someone who wasn't his father. He's pretty sure it's Persia - their Kritiker boss - who saved him and gave him the name Tsukiyono Omi, and he wants to know who the fuck he really is.

Ah, Omi's been walking around with holes in his memory this whole-ass time. I'd forgotten that. Manx tells him not to chase the past, because it'll only make him miserable. Manx then reports to Persia that Omi's starting to remember and this is going to bite them in the ass.

Omi is focusing on his memories when Yohji calls him to tell him that Shota's been kidnapped again. The cops are handling the situation with Shota's parents, but of course Omi shows up at the house demanding to know where Shota is, just in time to hear the kidnappers call and demand ransom. In the confusion, he slips inside, because everyone else has bigger things to worry about.

The cops can't trace the call. Shota's father can't raise the money. Omi is stuck in his own head and screams that he's going to be killed if you don't pay, Daddy, because he is losing his goddamn mind. We next see him in the flowershop's basement doing Deductive Reasoning based on the clues from the sounds Shota heard to pin down where they might have taken him the first time.

The scene I want to see is Omi extracting himself from Shota's house after he shrieked at a bunch of cops and Shota's stressed-out parents that he deserved to be rescued and daddy needs to pay the ransom, honestly, but the show would like us to focus on Omi's pain, please and thank you.

Omi thinks he knows where the kid might be and demands the rest of Weiss go looking for auto shops with basements in the general vicinity. I'm not entirely convinced this is the way to go about it, but they literally go to auto shops and are like, HEY DO YOU HAVE A BASEMENT. Guys, I feel like if you happened to stumble across the actual auto shop, they would lie to you and tell you they did not have a basement. Yohji is still trying to hit on pretty receptionists, incidentally, which I fucking love.

Omi sees the construction equipment that looks dragony and then a boat, both of which track with Shota's story, and sneaks up on the villains making their random demands. He's super glad to hear Shota's dad tell the kindappers he's got the money, cuts the lights, and drags Shota out of the room when the kidnappers go to investigate. Shota runs off and Omi gets to play dramatic hero.

I mean, VERY dramatic, he leaps into the alley and poses and gives them a line about hunting monsters, because they are Weiss. This means fuckall nothing to the kidnappers, who are absolutely fine attempting to assault a teenager intsead of a child. The rest of Weiss has shown up, though, to back Omi up, and all the kidnappers end up very dead.

Omi kills the last one with a crossbow and dramatically poses on a rooftop and NOW the scene I want is him scrambling up the side of the building from his starting point in the dark alley as the rest of Weiss went after the other guys just so he could shoot the guy in front of a full moon. You know this is how it happened. YOU KNOW IT DID. Looked great, though, despite his ridiculous assassin outfit with its shorts and cap.

The rest of Weiss is all quietly proud of Omi and sure he's asleep in his room. Omi is brooding about his father's refusal to pay ransom outside instead, looking dramatically and angstily out at the sea. Or Tokyo Bay, probably. There are gulls.

I've talked a little bit about Kritiker's investigative methods and wanting to know how and where they get the information that they do, and how a lot of it seems very random and more like the result of dumb luck than a dedicated investigation. That's definitely how Weiss specifically operates (how many times have we seen them get vital clues FROM THE NEWS, come on, guys), which does not track with Yohji's background as a private investigator at all.

Right now, in the series, we don't know a lot about Kritiker. We don't know how many teams or operatives they might be fielding, we don't know what their funding methods are (although they never seem to have trouble with money), and we don't know how they're organized beyond Persia Gives Assignments, Manx Handles Weiss, and Weiss Is A Murdery Field Team. The implication is that there are other teams, sure, since this is a chain of command model that exists in actual real life agencies, but we've seen nothing explicitly supporting this.

We can infer from this episode specifically that Kritiker has few or no qualms about child soldiers, which is honestly what Omi is, and what Ken has aged out of by now but where he was when Kritiker picked him up a couple years back. (There is a long history in media, specifically media aimed at children and adolescents, of teenage fighters, but I don't have the time or the spoons to go into that broader context right now.) But it's really starting to bother me that we have no operational details about the organization itself.

As far as Omi goes, I have net positive feelings about this story. Yes, there is the narrative convenience of stumbling into a similar experience as his childhood trauma, but having Omi's memories triggered by the situation sits better with me from a plot standpoint. We've seen Weiss go on several missions by now, and sooner or later odds were that Omi was going to run into something involving kids and/or kidnapping. We see that he's very shaken by his suppressed memories, although how that comes out is sometimes unintentionally funny. There are also the several implied very awkward scenes that we did not get to see, because they don't fit with the aesthetic of the show, but they are my headcanon now and I absolutely will not let this go.

Speaking of things that weren't on screen, I would have liked to see the fact that Omi remembers nothing of his childhood seeded in an earlier episode. They've had several throwaway scenes, across the six previous stories, and I can't help but feel that there should have been room there for a question that would have laid the groundwork for something as dramatic as the Oh By The Way Omi Has No Memories Before Kritiker reveal. I know they know how to do this, we saw Ouka in literally the first or second episode.

By this point in the show, we're ramping up the plot arcs as we get to know the characters better. The terrible episode 6 aside, the writing has gotten tighter. A little bit. Just a little. They're still not great at convincing me that they're an actual team, and they're still absolutely terrible at identifying and investigating cases (though they have a 100% solve rate, because I swear to all that is holy that the Weiss universe runs on Adam West Batman logic), but the emotional beats are hitting a little more accurately.

And let's be honest - this show was always about the emotional beats. And the leather trenchcoats.

[unfoundhoney]

toe the line ; part three ↠

↠ slimecicle x fem!reader ; angst , the fluff will get here eventually i promise

↠ masterlist

↠ part one ; part two ; part three ; part four

↠ @ochabby @kiritokunuwu @pyrotechnics84 @nottheotheruser @d0vesatdawn @ashturnedtomist @bloopi @enderhoe @plaguenecromancer @prickypearpropaganda @phantom-aurora @starswspacey

It’s funny how true the saying “you never miss something until it’s gone” is. If Charlie had to describe how the last two weeks have been, it’d be like that. He didn’t think it was humanly possible to miss someone so much, to actually have every second of every day be taken up by the thought of you. He’d been trying to work but with a blatant lack of you, he hadn’t been able to focus and decided to take a walk to clear his head.

It wasn’t helping.

A man walks past with a big, floofy, white dog on a leash. You would stop to ask to pet it. You always loved dogs and Charlie has no doubt in his mind that if your apartment building allowed pets, there’d be at least one living with you and him.

There’s a bookstore on the corner of a street. You would poke your head in, look around for a while and buy some novel by an author you’d never heard of. It’d probably lay unopened for a couple months until you suddenly remembered it one day and binged it in under three days.

A street musician plays across the street in a park, improving on his saxophone over a jazzy backing track. You would insist on staying to listen, waiting until he finished this song, applauding, and giving him ten dollars or so. Charlie stuffs his hands a little deeper in his pockets and keeps walking.

What was supposed to be a head-clearing (and distracting) walk has turned into the exact opposite. Charlie knows he won’t be getting any more work done today.

It starts to rain as he walks but he doesn’t head back, instead walking farther and into a different park. As it rains harder, he finds a bench to sit on. The cold and wet he finds himself submerged in distracts him better than anything else has been able to.

Water drips inside his collar and soon he finds himself soaked through. Still, he just sits there, staring straight ahead of him and focusing on the uncomfortable feeling of being fully clothed and completely wet.

He doesn’t know how long he sat there. Minutes. An hour. Two hours. But suddenly the rain stops. He’s no longer being showered with water droplets, even as the rain continues pouring all around him.

“Charlie? You okay, man?”

Charlie looks up and funnily enough, there’s Ted. He’s holding an umbrella over Charlie, looking down at him in concern. He realizes how bad this must look, sat in the rain looking dead inside.

“What’re you doing?” Ted asks slowly.

“Just... chilling.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You good?”

“I’m doing great.” He gestures generally, tries to crack a joke. “Can’t you tell?”

Ted doesn’t smile. “Dude, seriously. Are you okay?”

Charlie swallows, smile fading. He wants so badly to say “yeah, I am” and be able to mean it. He’s the one who messed everything up; he doesn’t have a right to be feeling this bad with you gone when he was the one who chased you away. And yet here he is, sitting in the rain.

“No.”

“...let’s go back to your place.”

Ted walks Charlie back home, sharing his umbrella despite the fact that Charlie is already totally soaked. Ted doesn’t seem to mind too much when Charlie drips on him; he’s likely more worried about Charlie than his left side getting a little wet.

They get back to Charlie’s apartment and Charlie changes quickly into dry clothes before joining Ted in the living room. It’s painstakingly obvious when Ted unknowingly sits in your spot.

After several minutes of awkward silence and even more awkward attempts at small talk, Ted finally asks the question he’s been meaning to for two weeks.

“How’s um... How’s Y/N?” Ted tries tentatively.

“She’s okay. Sort of. I think.”

“You think?”

“She’s kind of been avoiding me. She’s been staying at Schlatt’s for the past eleven days.”

“She has?”

“I think she needed some space, but it’s been over a week now and I’m kind of deteriorating away in the silence of our apartment alone.”

“Have you tried talking to her about... it?”

“You mean her feelings for me that she’s had for years and I’ve never noticed and then accidentally outed in front of all our friends and neither of us are sure our relationship will recover because we don’t know how to act now that we’re both aware one of us wants more than platonic friendship?”

“...yes.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“It sounds really bad when you phrase it like you just did but there’s no way around this,” Ted says. “I know how much you two care about each other. You two would be miserable without each other.”

“We- We’d be... fine.”

“That was the most unconvincing thing I have ever heard in my entire life.”

“I-“

“Not to mention the fact that you are literally living proof that you are not fine without Y/N.”

“Doctor Ted PhD is making a reappearance,” Charlie weakly tries to joke.

“Charlie.”

Ted did just find Charlie having a rather severe episode of “main character syndrome,” so there’s really no arguing with him. He is not doing fine without you. It’s only going to get worse the longer he goes without trying to reassemble the shattered pieces of your friendship.

Charlie’s will finally gives way. “I don’t know what to do, man. I fucked up so bad and now I’m terrified I’m never going to be able to get back to where we were. Everywhere I go all I can think about is her and she just- I have never been happier than I am when I’m with her and I just-... I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose her.”

Charlie buries his head in his hands, heels of his palms digging into his eyes. He’s finally letting himself be distressed over the very real possibility of losing his best friend instead of ignoring the situation entirely.

Meanwhile, Ted is connecting some very obvious dots.

“She’s all you can think about?”

“Yeah, like, I’ll just be going to the store or something and it’s like ‘oh, she’d smell those flowers,’ ‘she’d drag me to try that restaurant,’ ‘she’d go to see that movie with me.’”

“And you’re happiest with her.”

“Yeah, man. I’ve had other friends, other best friends even, but no one compares to her and how she just gets me. You’ve seen it; we have this synergy that I have never gotten with anyone else.”

“And you are very worried about the possibility of losing her.”

“...yes. Are you just repeating what I’ve said?”

“Just waiting for you to figure it out.”

“Figure what out?”

Ted doesn’t respond, holding the silence patiently. Charlie continues to look at him, confused. The apartment is quiet, not quite in the unbearable way it is when he’s alone but it still doesn’t feel right without you here.

For eleven days, you haven’t sung in the shower. You haven’t made breakfast just how he likes it. You haven’t distracted him from work to show him a TikTok, not that he ever minded. You haven’t fallen asleep on movie night and he’d willingly carry you to bed if you asked him sleepily, kind of wishing you’d ask him to stay with you one night.

You would grab his hand and ask him to stay. He’d do so without hesitation. Curled together under the covers, you would be close and warm and intimate in a new but welcome way. He’d hold you tight, your breath soft against his neck.

Wait.

Charlie looks up in horror. “No.”

Ted narrowly stops the shit-eating grin from spreading across his face. “Yes.”

“No. No no no, shit.”

“I am so happy I get to be here for this.”

“Shut the fuck up, Ted,” Charlie cuts him off.

He’s angry. Not at Ted but at himself. He rushes over to the door, shoving his feet back into his still-wet shoes.

“I’ve fucked up so bad. Oh my god, this is all my fault.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“God, shut up, you are not helping.”

“Sorry, just telling it like it is.”

Charlie glares at Ted. “Show yourself out.”

Charlie takes off out of the apartment without an umbrella again, completely prepared to get another set of clothes completely soaked. He prays to whatever higher power may be listening that you have the ungodly amount of forgiveness that will be needed to forgive his stupidity.

[emilysshortstories]

Paul Lahote Part 2

Don’t really know what to call this, but thanks for all the love on the last part. I’m gonna try and post weekly but I work a lot so no promises.

Warnings: Angst, lots of it. cussing, hints towards abuse.

After a few weeks went by things seemed to work themselves out between Jacob and Bella. I would drive out to Emily’s about once a week, Paul conveniently never being there. Which I was actually kinda glad about, although I felt eager to be around him, Jared told me about his anger issues so I think it’s better for me to steer clear of him until this eagerness goes away. Anger issues scare me. 

Jared and I have gotten close through these visits, always laughing at each other's sarcastic jokes and ending the night with an episode of New Girl. That was usually the time when everyone else bailed but I didn’t care, it gave Jared and I some hilarious inside jokes. No matter how close we got, our feelings for each other never grew past platonic, though I would rarely catch Sam giving Jared a look. It was never all knowing “when are you going to ask her out?” look, more of a “back off” look. But that could just be me reading into it too much, there is nothing. I am thinking too much. I’m just happy I finally made a friend of my own. 

One day when I arrived at Emily’s for dinner, there was a new face in the crowd. “Y/N! You’re here!” said Emily as I walked in. “Hey! This is for you. It’s a cake for later” I said, handing her the grocery bag in my hands. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that. This is Seth, Harry’s son.” Emily pointed to the unfamiliar face. “Hi, I’m Y/N, Charlie Swan’s niece.” I introduced myself, but Seth just kind of stared at me, never saying a word. Jared’s laughing was what broke the silence. “What are you laughing at dick nose?” I asked, hoping not to embarrass Seth. “Nothing, just your ability to woo people” 

“Very funny, I don’t woo anyone, you’re imagining things. How Emily puts up with you is beyond me.”

“IT’S NOT WITHOUT GREAT DIFFICULTY” Emily yelled from the kitchen before walking towards us. “Paul isn’t going to show up again?” she added.

“Nope” Embry said “ Too stubborn for his own good, the dumbass”

“Hey, if he doesn’t want to meet me that’s fine. It’s none of my business.” I say, hoping to ease Emily’s thoughts, seeming it always bothers her when he doesn’t show up. 

We all seemed to move past it and dinner was great, as usual. “Hey, instead of New Girl do you want to take a walk? I’ll show you the hiking trails around here.” Jared asked me.

“Sounds great” I said with a smile.

“Can I join you guys?” Seth asks like a small child which made me have to suppress a giggle. Poor boy had been staring at me all night like a lost puppy, he was cute no doubt, but being 5 years younger than me was a deal breaker. 

“No, Jared has something important to explain to her. Remember?” Sam said like he was Seth’s father. He seemed to always be incharge of everything around these guys so that didn’t surprise me. I definitely wouldn’t call them a cult, but club would be a better term, seeming as a hierarchy was apparent. 

“Seth likes you” Jared said as soon as we walked out of the house. “Wow! Way to out your friend there! Remind me to never trust you with a secret. Plus you don’t know that for certain, he just met me.” I said and Jared laughed, but didn’t say anything back. No until we were pretty deep into the woods did I ask “So what is this thing Sam said you needed to show me?” 

“Well I wanted to try and explain it to you but I have a feeling you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Your sarcasm levels are like no other to be fair, so show me.”

“Ok” he said and stopped walking. “Just brace yourself and try not to panic. I promise I won’t hurt you ok?”

“Ok” I say, trying to do what he said.

I watched. Watched him take off his shoes. Watched him back up a few feet. Watched him start to shake. Just like Paul did that day Bella slapped him. Then I watched him turn into a wolf. I was stuck. Didn’t say or do anything. I couldn’t. Just continued to watch as this wolf trotted back into the woods. My brain was blank. No thoughts, words or actions came to mind. Everyone knows the fight or flight trauma responses, but not a lot of people talk about the third: freeze. 

Jared came back, this time a human. “You okay?”. I took a deep breath and said “I’m in need of explanation please” I remembered that he wasn’t going to hurt me. 

He explained the histories, Vampires, and why he spends most of his time with the “pack”. I listened, tried to take it all in and process the copious amounts of new information, but apparently I was too quiet for Jared. “Please say something” 

“I’m alright, surprised to say the least and will need some time to process everything. But I’m not mad I promise. Thank you for telling me everything.”

“Well, that actually is not all. We just figured it would be best to wait until you’re ok with this first.” 

“There is more? Please just tell me the rest, trust me, I process better with all the information.”

“Okay, well. We can hear each other's thoughts, we are 108 degrees, and we can imprint.”

“That’s why you never wear shirts… What’s imprinting?” 

“The best way I can describe it is soulmates. When we make eye contact with them, our whole world becomes this person and we will be and do anything for them. When we are apart it’s hell, getting rejected by an imprint can really fuck you up. Make you sick. No one has ever died from being seperated from an imprint but you might as well be.”

“That sounds intense. What does that have to do with me?” 

“Paul imprinted on you. And it scared him. Still does scare him because love was never something that he wanted. That’s why he won’t see you, he isn’t mad at you. He’s in love with you and his stubbornness is eating him alive. It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to listen to his obsessive thoughts all the time.” 

“Hold on. Paul is my soulmate but he doesn't want me?”

“No, he wants you. He needs you, but he’s scared. We thought if we told you, you could convince-”

“You want me to try and convince my soulmate that he should be with me?... Fuck that. You dump all this crap on me and then tell me my own fucking soulmate doesn’t want me?!”

As if on cue, Paul came out of the woods “What did you do to her Jared? You hurt her?!”

“How do you know I’m in pain?”

“We feel our imprints' pain too” Jared added. 

“Oh! Perfect! So you can feel what you are doing to me asshole!” I couldn’t help but yell at Paul, I was overwhelmed to say the least. I’d never been so angry in my whole life. 

“What?”

“Jared didn’t hurt me, You did! What? You thought that I would be all sweet and understanding?! Awe my own fucking soulmate doesn’t want me-”

“No it’s no like that-”

“What is it? Am I not as pretty as you thought I would be? Well I can guarantee that you were not what I had in mind either you prick! In fact you are the last person I ever wanted. Oh great! Another egotistical asshole with anger issues to make me feel like shit all the time! Let me just take off my shoes so you can sweep me off my feet properly! I’m happy you got some practice keeping your distance from me. Now keep doing it! And don’t you dare think, even for a second, that you have any sort of claim over me. I’m out of here!”

Frustrated tears flowed down my face like a waterfall while my heart felt like it had died in my stomach and air was coming into my lungs but not my head. 

“Please don’t go. I had no idea you would feel this way. I can’t be separated from you anymore, I’ll go insane-”

“GOOD! Now fuck off!” I got into my car and slammed my door before Paul ran up to me window “Ok ok you can leave, just please let me drive you home. You shouldn’t be driving like this, and it’s dark. I promise I won’t say a word. Let Jared drive you! Anything.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” My own stubbornness got the best of me and I drove away. Only this time I was dumb enough to look in the mirror to see Paul sobbing.

[hamatoclan76]

Rise Splinter isn´t a very good parent and that´s okay.

Look, before someone starts throwing tomatoes i want to clarify something: I like Splinter from Rottmnt and i really like Rise of the Tmnt. People who have followed me for a while know i enjoy the series and i´m sad about it how was cancelled. I also want to say that i don´t think other Splinters are 100% perfect and they have their own issues too.

What i don´t like is how the Rise of the tmnt fandom often overlooks Rise Splinter´s character flaws and pretends that he is a perfect father figure because this is not something supported by both by the narrative and his character growth.

So, what i´m going to do in this post is to examine his character flaws, his role as parent and character arc in the series. The point of this is to bring up this flaws to light, this is not a ¨character critical¨ or whatever you want to call it. It´s supposed to be character analysis, okay?

Let´s start with the short Turtle Tots short:

Link to the short:

 https://www.facebook.com/teenagemutantninjaturtles/videos/626074331524980/

This short is when the turtle brothers are still very young. We see that Splinter is trying to train them but he keeps watching a show he likes on TV. This short shows Splinter didn´t care about training his sons enough even when they were younger. He also leaves them with very dangerous weapons they don´t know how to use.

Splinter was already quite neglectful and careless since the start. He spend too much time watching TV rather than training his sons. It would more understandable if he was too busy working with something but here he is only watching a TV series. Later in the short he admits he should have paid more attention to the turtles and isn´t a good Sensei.

I have to say i didn´t like this short too much. I didn´t find funny the jokes of how Splinter ignores his sons for the TV series and leaves every 30 seconds. However, it provides some context for the characters and their relationship.

Now let´s talk about his characterization at the start of the series. (Season 1)

Splinter at the start of the series is usually seen watching TV, whatever is his old movies or shows that he likes. He is rarely seen training the turtles or talking to them. Sometimes their interactions are the boys trying to ask him about something while he is watching his series. Splinter either answers them or ignores them.

He is usually so caught up in his own world that he doesn´t seem to be aware of who are the turtles fighting against until it starts biting them back. The boys usually don´t tell him about their adventures on the surface. One could argue that he assumes that they barely get in trouble and they are just playing.

In the episode ¨The Fast and the Furriest¨ Splinter ¨steals¨  Turtle Tank and takes it for a ride without Donatello´s permision. The turtles go through a lot of trouble to get the Turtle Tank back. By the end of the episode its Donatello, his son,is  the one who is putting a punishment on Splinter, who is supposed to be their father, for taking the Tank. 

While Donnie getting angry at Splinter is quite funny,this episode shows that Yoshi can be very inmature at times, if not childish. He doesn´t ask his son to allow him use the tank, puts them in danger and is scolded like a child at the end instead of him being the ¨responsible adult figure¨.

Parents being cocky or careless isn´t something very new. There are parents that act as inmature or worse than Yoshi and would never admit they did something wrong. So, i take this episode as one of the examples that Splinter does this kind of things. He isn´t this selfish and reckless all the time, just sometimes.

Another aspect is that Splinter struggles with remember his sons´ names. He calls them by their color bandana instead of their real names. This sometimes can be funny but on the long run it becomes quite disturing,Imo. There is difference between ¨calling your son with an affectionate nickname¨ and ¨not remembering your sons´ name¨. There is a point that this it becomes sad.

The tmnt wiki describes Rise Splinter´s personality as a ¨Extremely flawed (albeit loved) father figure¨. This means that he has tons of flaws but he cares about his family: One clear example is when he helps Raphael with fighting his fear in ¨Mrs. Cuddles¨. He protects the big turtle a few times from the giant puppet monster and they defeat the monster together.

Splinter cares about April O´Neil like she was part of the family too. In episodes like "Always Be Brownies" he is seen hanging out with her and helping her. He also encourages April to believe more in herself since she has tons of doubts in that episode. (Season 2).

Hamato Yoshi / Splinter´s backstory

Lets say that Yoshi didn´t have the best childhood. His biological father was missing and he is not mentioned in the flashbacks. Splinter´s mother, Atsuko, left Yoshi when he was still a kid so she would be able to perform her family duty as protector in the Hamato family.

This terrible loss made Yoshi grow bitter with his Hamato duties and martial arts. He didn´t want anything to do with his family legacy since it was the reason that his mother was forced to left him. He had an argument with his maternal grandfather and sensei, Sho, and decided to use the skills he learned in during his training to become a superstar.

After many shenanigans involving his crush on Big Mama, a very powerful yokai, and Baron Draxum, Hamato Yoshi mutated into a humanoid rat and adopted the turtles, who were about to be used as soldiers by Draxum, like their own sons.

Splinter´s backstory explains a lot of his behaviour in the series: It´s implied his father died/left him, his own mother also left him to perform her duties and he has a very strained relationship with his grandparent. The reason of why he has so many problems when it comes to being a good father it is because he himself lacked good family support. It makes sense that he doesn´t seem to know what he is doing or why he is messy when he is takeing care of the turtles.

Speaking of that, this explains why he isn´t very involved in his sons´ training. Maybe he just doesn´t want them to carry the same burden that he did as a child or just dislikes the idea of training them because it reminds him of bad memories about his grandfather and his mother.

He also watches his old movies since it reminds him of the time he was living his life at his fullest and was doing something he enjoyed. It implies he has his mind stuck in the past, perhaps wishing he could still be human and live like superstar.

Splinter´s Character growth

Like i mentioned, Yoshi wasn´t very interested in training his sons at the start of the series. He was negletful and spent too much time watching his movies... This aspect of his character isn´t ignored.

When the turtles asked him to train him ¨The Evil League of Mutants" he put Lou-Jitsu films for them to watch, this made their sons think he wasn´t taking them seriously and decided to go out on their own. While Splinter´s intention was to show them the basics by them learning the moves from the movies, he came off as he only cared about watching said films to their sons.

After noticing how his sons lack experience and need his help, he begans training them. Splinter gets more involved with his Hamato destiny and starts being more honest to the boys about his past as human and protector.

One episode that´s really worth of mentioning is ¨Turtle-dega Nights: The Ballad of Rat Man¨: Splinter tricks Donatello and Mikey into going to a demolition center since he missed the old days he used to be a champion in the Battle Nexus. Donnie is very hurt when he finds out about this because he really wanted to spend more time with his father. By seeing this Yoshi realizes how his sons would like to do things together with him like hanging out. He apologizes to Donnie and tellshim that he may have lied but it is truth he wanted to spend time with him.

Along with getting more involved in his sons´s lives by teaching them and spending time with them, he lets Mikey hang out with Draxum because Mikey considers him part of the family too. (Draxum created them). He didn´t trust Draxum due to their mutual past but decides to give him a chance for Mikey´s sake.

In conclusion: In Rise of the tmnt, Splinter starts as somewhat a neglectful parent figure, sometimes acting childish and not being the best role model for their sons. Overtime he begins to understand the consequences of not training his family and gets more involved in their lives. He tries to be a responsible father despite he had tons of issues with his own family growing up. While very flawed, he has good intentions and cares deeply about his sons.

[buffysummerslay]

I have watched Lucifer series finale yesterday and I am still reeling from feelings, feelings I need to work through to be able to move on.

Unfortunately, I am late to the party and I have started watching Lucifer (despite the show being on my radar for a few years already) when season 6 came out, and this turned avoiding spoilers about the ending as well as the show itself into an extremely hard task. I have, of course, seen some reactions to the ending and it was obvious that the viewers were divided between "the ending was amazing, they really did the story and the characters justice" and "what the fuck was that". I always take these reactions, especially when they come instantly after the episode has ended, with a grain of salt because, realistically, I haven't been fully satisfied with the way a tv show has ended - any tv show - since, like, 2010. However, I also know that there is a difference between "okay, the ending was anticlimactic/disappointing/etc, however, it is the journey that matters and I am still pretty happy with the show" and HIMYM type of ending where you are like "I want this show wiped from my memory because the final hour has ruined the entire experience for me". So, I took some time to reflect on the events that took place, gather my thoughts, and make my peace with the ending. After doing that, I can comfortably say that I am not fully satisfied with the ending because of one very simple reason - I can make sense of the choices taken by the character at the very end of the show only if I use "Lucifer gave Rory his word" rationale, and not because I believe in the theory they provided or the choices they make. So here are some of my thoughts about the ending of this beloved show, including both the things I liked and disliked. Be warned, there are spoilers ahead so if you haven't seen the show, the final season or the series finale, please stop reading because you don't want to manifest spoilery energy into your life!

The main thing I have a problem with is the time loop. I will begin by saying that I really dislike time travel in general - I think that it is an overly used plot divice that more than often creates holes in the story instead of driving the narrative where it needs to go, unless the concept of time travel is integral to the show, like for example in Timeless and Fringe. However, in this case, I dislike that the major characters have made a major decision (a serious, impactful, life-altering decision) based on a flimsy theory. And since they have told us exactly what will happen in the end, we simply didn't know why and how, I have expected a more bulletproof reasoning instead of a rushed conversation wrapped up in five minutes and sealed by a promise. Lucifer leaves Chloe and Rory and goes back to hell, Rory grows up resenting him and she becomes so angry she travels through time to confront him only to end up being the reason for his departure, therefore creating an unbreakable time loop. She makes her parents give her their word that they won't change a thing in order to make sure that Lucifer discovers his true calling, which is helping souls in Hell break their hell loops and ascend to Heaven. And the reason I am so hesitant to accept this is because of two reasons:

1. Lucifer has made amazing progress through the show when it comes to his character development, finding his worth and making peace with his identity, and yet you are trying to tell me that this is the only way he would discover his true calling, especially now when he has a higher level of understanding himself than ever before? And especially since these thoughts and doubts have already been in his mind aka him postponing to become God long before Rory's arrival into their timeline!

2. The consequences of our actions are the results of the choices we make, not the other way around. And sometimes, different choices can lead to different outcomes and sometimes the array of choices we make lead to the same outcome. It is absolutely possible that if they broke the time loop and made different choices, that their actions would lead them to the same outcome aka Lucifer finding his calling while remaining in their lives. I think that it is fully possible for them to make a timeline B (the timeline that would have been created if they broke the time loop) based on the discoveries from the timeline A (their current timeline). There's no reason for me to believe otherwise.

Apart from the discovery of Lucifer's calling, the only thing that came out of the time loop was pain, suffering and probably a lot of loneliness. Even the good things that came out of the time loop (like Lucifer and Rory bonding) are a consequence of the pain that it caused. Of course, if they broke a time loop and created a completely new timeline, choices they would make there could theoretically end up having worse consequences on their lives. They could also be better, or they could be completely the same. The thing is, we don't know, we can only speculate and that is exactly what bothers me. The main characters made a major decision based on a speculation. I don't necessarily have a problem with the things that have happened, but rather with how they happened and how they were explained. Or better to say, how they weren't. I think that they should have completely dedicated the season to exploring this and reassuring us that this is the right choice to make and the right way to go.

Also, the concept of free will and making one's own choices has been pretty integral to the show. We have watched Lucifer struggle with the concept since the beginning of the show because he was convinced he is only a puppet in his father's grand plans. There were many events in the show reinforcing that belief, like Chloe being the gift from God. It took him seasons to accept that he chose to stay in her life, to be close to her, to be her partner in work as well as in life and in that acceptance he finally found the strength to tell her that he loves her. He chose her and she chose him. And while one can argue that leaving them and going back to hell was Lucifer's choice (since, technically, he could have chosen to break his word to his daughter and change things), it is one he didn't want to make. In the final episode he says that he desires to watch his daughter grow up and before he leaves for Hell he tells Chloe he doesn't want to leave her (she even responds that she doesn't want him to leave either, but that this is the choice that they are making for Rory's sake), making me feel like he is making this choice out of duty, out of fear and not because he wants to. He finally accepted that the choices he makes are his and his only, and the final choice in the show was made for him instead by him - I really don't think that the character deserved this. Lucifer gave Rory his word and we know he always goes by his word - they have turned one of the most essential qualities of his character into a plot device and an instrument that caused pain. Additionally, since Rory asked him not to change anything, it was implied that Lucifer can't come back to Earth in order not to risk changing anything even though it is completely possible for him to balance his work hours in Hell and his family time on Earth, like Amenadiel did. I also found this completely unfair and it felt like Lucifer was "banished" to Hell, not only missing out on being with Chloe and watching Rory grow up, but also staying away from his friends and the life he had built for himself. However, on the brighter side, Lucifer doing this - something he doesn't completely understand, something he doesn't want to do - is incredibly selfless of him and only shows how much he has grown. A character who has been described as selfish and self-serving from the very beginning does something so ultimately selfless, something that doesn't serve him in any way - quite the opposite, it pains him. As I said, I don't necessarily mind how things played out, I mind the lack of guarantee that they had to be this way. The only thing we don't know is if Lucifer and Chloe were in contact over the years since Chloe could have kept in touch with him behind Rory's back - maybe she sent him pictures of Rory, and maybe they exchanged letters. I am very doubtful because this would probably make the whole situation harder on them nor do I think that they would risk it because they wouldn't be able to know if their actions are breaking the time loop or if they are a part of the original timeline but hey, this is the stuff that fan fictions are made of!

And finally, I very much disliked the parallel between Lucifer and God - Lucifer abandoning his child for the sake of doing his job and that child growing up resenting him - if it was their intention to draw such a parallel. I think that God somewhat "redeemed" himself in Lucifer's eyes and that through accepting himself Lucifer also learned how to stop resenting his father for the things that transpired between them, and I don't necessarily believe that Lucifer had to walk in his father's shoes to understand him. So, in my opinion, this was completely unnecessary. Something I did like was Lucifer's calling - I think that it shows nicely the full circle he has made and that the souls he thought he is supposed to torture he is now helping heal. In a way, Hell is also the reflection of who Lucifer is - when he saw himself as broken, as evil, as unworthy and undeserving, Hell was also a place of torture - it was a reflection of him. And now that he accepted himself and that others have accepted him for who he is as well, it is a place of healing. In the end, Hell is his kingdom and he can choose to rule it the way he wants to. He broke his own hell loop and he truly became a lightbringer.

And, of course, Lucifer and Chloe (they are so soft and I am so soft for them). Taking into consideration my very bad OTP track reckord, I kinda expected a much, much worse ending for them - I mean, the Devil falling in love with a human, what could possibly go wrong, right? I knew from the very beginning that they aren't getting a pure, wholeseome, family-like ending. In order for that to happen, she would either have to become immortal (leaving Trixie, losing her detective identity), or he would have to become mortal - both of these scenarios feel cheap and I never would have wanted this for them or the show. Another option was to give them their happy life on Earth but then they would either have to leave a somewhat open ending or deal with the fact that ultimately, as a mortal, Chloe will die. And if they were given their happy ending on Earth, who knows if they would end up together in afterlife. Even if they did, it definitely wouldn't feel as emotional and as gratifying as it does now. The thing is, it is easy to give in to the pain of their separation when we measure it by the pivotal moments of happiness and loss that drive the lives of humans - him not being there when Rory was born or when she grew wings or when she started school - and it is even harder when you know how much she needed him and how much he wanted to be there for her. It is even more painful when you think about Chloe spending her entire lifetime without him, carrying all that pain inside of her, and him spending what had to be centuries alone in Hell. However, this is a fantasy show and many of our characters are immortal, celestial beings who have a different understanding of time, so maybe the idea of what a happy ending is and the rules for measuring happiness aren't the same as they would have been under other circumstances. Chloe became lieutenant and tried to make a difference, and she got to raise her daughters and see them grow up, and Lucifer helped so many souls heal, doing so much good. And now they get to spend the eternity together, solving crimes and kicking ass in the afterlife! Many of their friends and family are immortal, celestial beings too and (I am pretty sure) they can pay a visit to their human friends in Heaven... or see them in Hell, but let's hope not! In the end, what is one lifetime compared to eternity? Of course, none of this makes for the time they have lost, the momories they didn't get to make and the moments he wasn't there for, but now there are so many new memories they will get to make and so many moments to catch up on. It is bittersweet, but I think that's how it was supposed to be - in the end, pain is part of life.

I also have a few (dis)honourable mentions:

1. I am really sad and disappointed Lucifer didn't get to say goodbye to Trixie. She was gone for the majority of the season, but she was also a very important person in his life and he loved her. And we know how much she loved him.

2. I can't get over Rory travelling through time to kill her father because she is angry at him... sis, you kill him before he makes you, you wipe yourself out of existence.

3. I can't believe that they were surprised that Chloe got pregnant after having loads of superhuman sex (without any protection, apparently) after another human already got pregnant with an angel not that long ago.

4. Lucifer saying goodbye to Maze will forever remain one of the most beautiful scenes in the show.

5. The final major scene between Chloe and Lucifer, where they say goodbye before he leaves for hell, lives in my head rent free. I was choking on tears watching that scene, I literally had to pause and rewind three times. Such a beautiful(ly painful) scene. Also, when you have a ship and a person A says to the person B "close your eyes", pain is coming. I swear I travelled back to 1999 when Buffy said the same thing to Angel before sending him to a hell dimension.

6. When Chloe dies and goes to Heaven and Amenadiel greets her and asks her if she's ready to go home and then takes her to Lucifer was so pure. Her Heaven is being in Hell with Lucifer and there's something deeply poetic about that.

7. Hearing hello detective for the last time cleared my skin.

I have really and truly enjoyed the show, and the minor inconsistencies I see in its ending can't change that. I loved the show because it told stories about people and it allowed them to drive the narrative, and I can't say many shows these days do that.