#and yea it is kinda specific but shush

[isame-allen]

Ok I ran out of angst juice

Do you have any dreamswap angst headcanons that you can share?

Oh oh i definitely have some

Blue had taken drugs before, the hardcore ones as well. He even considered to overdose but he stopped roughly when error left

Cross has anorexia. He eithers throw up after eating a lot or -best case scenario- works out, like very much until he is very tired

Yk how I never draw dream and nightmare with elf ears like many others? Yes well it’s fun to imagine that those two were meant to die like ‘normal’ humans do but since the incident happened they felt like they just had to be alive for as long as possible. They both sometimes have thoughts on how they were meant to live like the people in their village, they have to urge to die right then and there but they can’t because nightmare wants to make sure dreams alright and dream has a duty to fulfill. They hate the curse of immortality

Whenever ink unintentionally insulted someone, he has the feeling to rip out his throat. He has the habit of hardly scratching his throat everytime he regrets saying something because he can’t control the words that come out of his mouth. He would also have the feeling to vomit when his mind just rewind the words he regrets saying

Randy sometimes has an outburst from the past memories of the children he couldn’t save. He blames himself for their deaths and would sometimes consider not letting hacker go to his job because he’s so worried

Although error has recovered from his fear of touch, anytime someone has accidentally touched he scratches the part that has been touched. Sometimes it got so bad that he’ll legitimately scratch himself, like blood is coming out, and he just lets the scar heal on its own

Hacker is just tired man. He would sometimes just ‘shut off’ like some days he would just be a walking corpse and having little to no reaction to anything

Bobby sometimes wish she actually got sacrificed. She would bang her head against a wooden surface whenever she regrets saying something to hacker or randy, she feels like a nuisance to them

Finch has a habit of being petty. He doesn’t physically show it but in his mind, whenever he sees someone having a happy day or just something positive he would feel like vomiting. It doesn’t mean he is jealous of them he has a pretty decent life himself, but he would just naturally be petty to others on the inside

[trupowieszcz-moved]

does anyone have some good urban fantasy books to recommend? i'm finishing up listening to the devil you know by mike carey and while it was pretty fun i realized that it had only one female character (excluding like, one-scene office workers etc of course) who wasn't in some way stereotypized, horribly mistreated or sexualized, and her role was so minor that i forgot about her at first, and like... the story was fine but once i realized that the whole thing became very mid

what i want to read (or rather listen to) are urban fantasy books that don't have the above problem, take place in the real world (if it's changed or hidden somehow that's also good, even better, just you know, Earth), and aren't mainly about werewolves or supernatural politics. yea i know it's weirdly specific shush. i kinda want something like mortal instruments but for adults, or something similar to good omens or neverwhere

[izukult]

little things with denki kaminari

happy birthday to my love. latest in this series here

—whenever one of you is listening to music, you always share earbuds (or at least offer). you have a shit ton of playlists for situations (bus rides with loser, people in class won’t stfu and we have to act like we care¿?, bored asf) etc. it’s also customary for you to have at least one song rec for each other a day.

—bro this motherfucker has bit you before? how odd.

—he really, really loves to talk. so no matter how talkative or how quiet you are, you two are constantly interrupting each other and it always makes him laugh.

—denki has no idea what to do when it comes to relationships. not one thought is running through that mans head and it shows. when you two first get together, he has genuinely no idea what to say. he’s smooth and casual when he’s not thinking about it, but the second he processes the fact he’s your boyfriend and he’s supposed to be boy friendly, he’s clueless.

—he literally quotes romance movies to try to sound cool. it’s so bad. he sounds awful. it’s horrible. it’s ugly. please, kaminari, i’m begging you. be quiet. it’s kinda cute tho tbfh

—also! he gets so flustered. he would never show you but like when you send a text that’s even remotely romantic he’s done for. that one video of the girl holding her phone to her chest and kicking the bed? that’s him tbh

—after every fight, near miss, or villain encounter all he ever wants to do is spend time with you. even if you’re both just sitting there silently, it calms him down so much.

—speaking of, he freaks out really easily. and he finds so much comfort in you. and he wants to do the same for you. he has a list of things he knows make you feel better. be like that for him or ur a fucking loser

—you’re a big motivator in his training. after all the shit he’s seen, he’s got a lot of valid fear and trauma. so he doesn’t want you to ever have to go through that type of thing, even if you were training to be a hero. he wants to be able to protect you, so he pushes himself super hard to learn how to channel his electricity.

—did you know kaminari skateboards? well, he does! and he is itching to teach you. you two love to go to this little park at night, only lit by street lights and the city. his hands are on your waist as you wobble on the board and he’s laughing at you. teaches you about footing and all the terms (“i’m not gonna be dating anyone who stands goofy, you hear me?” clearly he doesn’t actually give a shit.). once you’re pretty good, he buys you a board as a gift.

—denki is a pretty chill dude. he doesn’t get offended much and when he does he’s never really angry about it. but if someone even looks at you wrong he’s laughing almost politely and flicking his wrist back and commenting some snarky insult about that person not really to them but definitely loud enough for them to hear.

—he sneaks into your room every night to fall asleep with you. you fake being annoyed when he comes in and runs his mouth for fifteen minutes, but you don’t actually care. kaminari sleeps with his head covered in pillows, so i imagine he shoves his head into your neck or back, and wraps his arm completely around you once he actually falls asleep. very cuddly dude. once you complained about how it was too hot at night because of him, and instead of letting up he bought you a 75 dollar desk top power fan and told you problem solved.

—movie nights every thursday. you tried to argue it should be saturday for months, talking about sleep schedules and responsibilities the next morning but he does not care. it’s thursday’s, you will enjoy it. srz

—he unironically wants you guys to get one of those big shirts you can both wear. every time a birthday or holiday or anniversary comes up and you ask what he wants, he tells you that shirt. he begs for you to wear one with him. one time he was sobbing over something completely irrelevant and you asked him if there was anything that would make him feel better and through tears he said “big couple shirt” and cried harder when you said no.

—he wakes you up with a shitty pickup line every single morning. sometimes he looks them up, sometimes he makes up shitty ones specific to you.

—you two have matching bracelets. you made them together one night, he bought a bunch of beads and shit and insisted that you make them. he made yours, you made his. so yea basically you walk around with a shitty yellow and black bracelet that says denki (self projecting as i literally wear that bracelet right now)

—no matter where he is, he always makes sure a spot next to him is available for you, just incase you show up. he wants you to feel included and even if he’s silent about it, he makes sure you’re always comfortable.

—he makes you recreate funny couples photos all the time. like the reaction meme looking ones. his favorite (which is also his lock screen and his profile picture) is the one with that couple making out on the fence and the girls holding the guy up lol. also loves to take really uncomfortable ones that look like posed white people family photos and you’re both just doing thumbs up and standing too far away from each other.

—y’all are so funny for real. like constantly laughing, always having fun, just so comfortable?? such a good relationship i’m ngl would die for it

—he gets a star projector and makes you stare at it with him for hours. for the first thirty minutes he aggressively shushes you if you try to say anything. loves it.

—he’s really good at balancing being a good friend / conversationalist / person to be around and being affectionate. he’s pretty good at gauging what you need when you need it. he’s such a good boyfriend yea <33

[letdecemberburninflames]

Pain in the Ass

Aperçu: When Vince gifts his sister a backstage pass to a show, he is unaware that she is already quite familiar with the band. Specifically, the drummer.

Fic Type: Tommy Lee x Reader, Brother!Vince Neil x Reader, The Dirt fanfic

Warnings: It’s Mötley fucking Crüe, dude.

Author’s Note: This is the first band fanfiction I’ve ever written (let alone Mötley Crüe), and the first actual fic I’ve written in a long time, so constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated.

*_*_*_*_*

Having an older brother had pros and cons. Especially when he was in an internationally renowned rock band. To all the girls in the audience, he was some sort of sex-god, above all wrongdoing and rebuke.

To me he was just a pain in the ass.

A pain in the ass who thought backstage-pass tickets to his show would forgive the fact that he forgot my birthday.

Forgetfulness must run in the family, because I had conveniently “forgot” to mention that I was dating the drummer of my brother’s band.

And that’s how I ended up here, lounging on a dressing room couch, watching Tommy Lee apply lipstick and rouge in preparation for the show. The room was a bit hazy from the cigarettes we were chain smoking, and several empty bottles of beer littered the floor. Clothes and belts were tossed haphazardly around (Tommy had been very indecisive about his costume tonight) and there was a pile of unfinished blow sitting on a cymbal perched precariously on the side table next to me. He had never been the cleanest guy- not that I cared. I had grown up around Vince for fucks sake. And to be fair, those were my boots on the floor, and a couple of the beer bottles had been mine.

“So dude,” Tommy smeared on some eyeliner, “when are we gonna tell your brother that we’re together?”

I sighed, and picked at a loose string from a seam of the couch. I could feel Tommy’s gaze as he watched my reflection in his vanity mirror.

“I mean, he’s bound to find out sooner or later… But you and me both know that he’ll lose his shit-”

Tommy smirked, “‘Cus I’m fucking his sister.”

I laughed, and half-heartedly threw one of my boots at him.

“You’re mean!” Tommy fake-whined, spinning around in his chair.

I rolled my eyes, “C’mere silly, you have coke on your nose.”

---

Vince strolled into the greenroom, half expecting to see Y/N chatting with Nikki and Mick. Well, chatting with Nikki and probably talking Mick to death. She never seemed to shut up.

No Y/N, but he did find the headband he’d been looking for. That and a beer.

“Hey, Nikki,” Vince took a swig of his Heineken and slapped the bassist on the back.  “Have you seen a girl about-” he raised his hand to indicate height, “yea high? Leather jacket and jeans?”

“What, you already lose a lady friend back here?” Mick raised an eyebrow.

“No man, I’m looking for my sister.”

Nikki shrugged, looking agitated. “I dunno, but do y’know where Tommy’s at? We’re on in ten.”

“Shit,” Vince spat.

Last week, he’d forgotten Y/N’s birthday, and in a half-assed attempt at an apology, he’d offered a backstage pass. Of course, she’d laughed in his face, but she took it anyways. Yeah, he kinda felt bad. But hey, he was busy. There were shows to put on, cities to visit, girls to fuck…

Mick looked up from practicing riffs on his guitar as Nikki stalked off to go find the missing drummer. “You have a sister?”

“Yeah, unfortunately.” Vince spun in a circle. “She’s not hiding in here, is she?”

“Fortunately, no.”

Vince collapsed on the couch opposite Mick’s, and downed a third of his beer. “She’s probably just making out with a roadie or some shit.”

“Wonder where she gets it from,” Mick muttered.

---

Nikki was in a sour mood. Well, more so than usual. The bass tech had somehow managed to lose one of the basses he was supposed to be playing tonight, and the replacement lacked the pyrotechnic abilities of the original, which completely ruined one of his favorite effects in the entire show. On top of that, Tommy was missing with less than ten minutes to showtime, and Vince had brought his fucking sister.

She was a pretty thing, though. Dripping with charisma, she wore a smile that matched Vinny’s and had a similar surfer-rock vibe. She had nice tits too. He had decided within two minutes of meeting her though that fucking her would feel too much like fucking a girl version of Vince and the idea of that creeped him out.

He stomped down the hallway, banging on doors in search of the drummer.

God fucking dammit, where the hell was Tommy?

Surely Doc had given him the ten minute warning. He was probably still in his dressing room jacking off or some shit.

Grumbling to himself, Nikki turned the corner and found the dressing room with Tommy’s name on the door. He lifted his hand to bang on the door and give Tommy a piece of his mind, when a noise stopped him.

A voice. A female voice.

Nikki chuckled. Of course that bastard had a girl in there. Very carefully, he cracked the door open, just enough to see what and who Tommy was doing.

Tommy was lounging on the dressing room couch, making out with a girl straddling him. The girl was wearing jeans and a leather jacket and- Shit!

Oh shit.

Nikki shut the door as quickly and quietly as possible. He grinned wildly. Tommy was making out with Vince’s sister. Vinny’s fucking sister!

Vince had to see this. He was going to fucking lose it when he found out.

Nikki flat out sprinted back to the greenroom where Vince was bitching to Mick about Y/N.

“She is such a pain in the ass. I can’t even believe-”

“Vince!” Nikki practically skidded to a stop in front of him. “Vinny, man, you gotta see this.”

Vince whined, “We’re on in like, five minutes! And I still gotta find Y/N!”

“No, really, you gotta see this.”

“Fine.”

As he followed Nikki back down the halls, Vince continued to complain. “Did you at least find Tommy?”

They turned down the last hallway to where the dressing rooms were, and Nikki shushed him. “Would you quit bitching for a second?”

Ever so slowly, Nikki inched open the door till they could see inside.

Tommy had abandoned his shirt on the couch, and Y/N had lost most of her clothing, with the exception of her leather jacket and underwear. She was seated on the vanity, Tommy standing between her legs, hands on her waist.

Vince lost it within the three seconds he had been peering through the cracked door.

“Y/N, WHAT THE FUCK?” Vince stormed in, leaving a bemused Nikki behind him in the doorway.

“Ever heard of knocking, asshat?” She snapped, pulling her jacket tight around her.

Tommy stood there, wide eyes darting between Y/N and Vince.

Just then, Mick appeared in the doorway. “We’ve got two minutes to- Oh.”

Nikki snickered as Mick took in the scene. Vince looked like he was going to strangle Tommy, who was desperately trying to pull his shirt back on and fix his hair. There was lipstick on his jaw. Based on their faces and Nikki’s giggling, it wasn’t too hard to figure out who the half-naked girl sitting on the vanity was.

“Vinny, this is my boyfriend, Tommy,” Y/N hopped off the vanity and pulled on her jeans.

“Yeah. No kidding.” Vince spat back.

“Sorry, man.” Tommy shrugged. “We were gonna tell you, but never really got around to it.”

“Uh huh.”

By this point, Nikki was full on losing it, on the ground laughing.

“What in the HELL is going on in here?” Doc poked his head in and pointed to his watch. “You all need to be on stage RIGHT NOW.”

Reluctantly, Vince decided not to kill Tommy right then and there. But as he walked past Y/N, he whispered, “You are SUCH a pain in the ass.”

She laughed and followed Mötley Crüe out of Tommy’s dressing room.

“Right back atcha, buddy.”

*_*_*_*_*

Permanent Tag List:

@lunarmoonwolf @silver-starburst @emotionalwierdo01  @thatshiscigar @asteriabrimstone @midnightwritingrussiancoffee @mismatch-the-socks

[soldierstark]

The Empath | LOKI LAUFEYSON X READER

Description: When Mantis begins to read peoples' emotions at an Infinity War squad party, Loki's feelings for the reader are exposed.  

Author's Note: This is basically a rewrite from a scene in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2. Ya'll know the one. In related news, the Infinity War trailer has me hella shook my eyes are gonna bust a nut at the premiere. As always, reviews are appreciated :) Enjoy!!!

Word Count: 1645

FANFICTION MASTERLIST

You’d think that because the world was about to end that the Avengers along with the rest of the universes superheroes would be hard at work. Maybe planning an invasive attack of some sort, getting a good night’s rest before an upcoming battle, or doing anything other than what they were doing right now.

Drinking.

It had been a very stressful for everyone lately and Tony thought it would be a good idea for everyone to let lose for a night, though (Y/N) didn’t think this was what he had in mind.

The coffee table was littered with empty shot glasses, bottles of hard liquor, and half drunken beer bottles. Everyone was squeezing onto the 3 couches that surrounded the table, some sitting on the arm rest and on the floor. A few stragglers were standing in groups off to the side, talking aimlessly about everything and anything.

All sense of inhibition was lost after the third round of tequila shots was poured, along with some people’s ability to form intelligent thoughts.

More specifically, Steve, who was the definition of a light weight.

“Hey, Mantis,” he yelled out suddenly, grabbing the alien girls attention. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

Mantis looked over at him with curious eyes. “No one ever asks me personal questions,” she stated in a monotone voice.

Steve leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “Your antenna, what are they for? Cause I have a bet with (Y/N) a-“

(Y/N) punched Steve’s shoulder from her positon on the couch next to him and attempted to shush him. “Shhhh you’re not supposed to say it’s a bet Steve,” she grumbled, but smiled none the less.

“I say, that when you’re going through too little a doorway, you antenna stop you from going through and being decapitated,” he continued, slurring his words together and ignoring (Y/N)’s attempts to quiet him.

Everyone in the surrounding area let out a laugh at the ridiculous assertion.

“You can’t be serious,” Tony asked in disbelief, taking a swig of beer. “That’s absolutely ridiculous.”

“That’s what I said!” (Y/N) exclaimed shaking her head, causing her (Y/H/C) hair to fall into her face.

This didn’t go unnoticed by Loki who was sitting across the coffee table from (Y/N), next to his brother. He couldn’t help but admire how effortlessly beautiful she always seemed to look, even in battle. The feelings he began to harbor for the girl confused him.

After all, (Y/N) was a mortal girl, and after the disaster of a relationship Thor and Jane had, Loki was convinced things would never work out between them. That is, if she even liked him the way he liked her which seemed unlikely considering his past.

“And if your antenna are used for anything other than you specifically not being decapitated by doorways…” (Y/N) continued. “I win the bet.”

Bucky let out a snort. “I think we all know who the winner’s gonna be,” he muttered, leaning back into the couch.

“Thank you,” Steve hiccupped again, waving a hand widely towards Bucky. “This is why you’re best friend.”

“That’s not what I m-…” Bucky started, shaking his head slightly, but stopped when he saw the dopey smile on Steve’s drunken face. “Uh- you’re welcome Cap.”

Mantis’s dark eyes looked around the room wearily before she answered, looking down at her hands. “Well they aren’t for preventing decapitation in doorways,” she admitted.

“Ha!” (Y/N) yelped, clapping her hands together excitedly with a proud smile on her face. “I win!”

This made Loki smile fondly, his heart stopping for a moment at the sight of (Y/N) smiling with genuine happiness. That was rare now-a-days.

“Dammit!” Steve ground out, throwing his head back with a groan. For his sake, everyone pretended to be surprised by the answer.

“Never would’ve guessed,” Clint said, sarcastically pursing his lips.

“Wait a second,” Thor interrupted, reaching forward to grab his bottle of beer off of the table. “Now I’m curious as to what they’re actually for.”

Jumbled mumbles overtook the room as everyone responded in agreement.

“Though I’m not really sure what they’re for,” Mantis started, grabbing everyone’s attention. “I’m certain they have something to do with my empathetic abilities.”

Natasha tilted her head to the side curiously. “What are those?”

Mantis paused for a moment before answering, as if she were contemplating her answer. “If I touch someone, I can feel their feelings.”

Steve’s eyes widened considerably. “You read minds?” he asked in amazement.

Bucky face palmed and rubbed his eyes in slight annoyance. “First of all, we’re never letting you drink again,” he said, directing his words at Steve. “And secondly, telepaths read minds, not empaths. They just feel emotion.”

Mantis stood up off the arm rest she was sitting on and looked at Steve who was closest to her. “May I?” she asked, gesturing to his arm.  He nodded his head, a childlike grin forming on his face.

“This is not gonna end well,” Clint mumbled, taking a sip of beer. He watched, none the less.

Mantis placed her pale hand on Steve’s wrist, closing her eyes. The skin colored antenna’s that sprouted from her head began to emit a white light.

“I feel, very relaxed, and excited. All at the same time,” she announced opening her eyes. “Is that right?” Steve nodded his head yes ferociously.

Tony placed his bottle of beer on the coffee table and held his arm out, palm facing the ceiling. “Oooh, me next.”

Mantis gave him a grin and obliged happily, repeating the same steps as before. “I feel,” she started after a moment of thought, “content and loved.”

A chorus of awes echoed throughout the living room as Tony smiled, slightly embarrassed. His cheeks reddened as he nodded his head slowly. “That’s correct,” he admitted sheepishly. “Who’s next?”

Everyone looked around at each other, waiting for someone to speak up, but no one volunteered.

Thor’s booming voice broke the silence. “Loki will do it,” he announced, patting his brother hard on the back.

Loki sat up straight with wide eyes, raising an eyebrow. “No he will not,” he stated, glaring at Thor.

“Yea what’s the point? We know the answer’s gonna be emo,” Clint added with an eye roll. Loki gave him a sharp look but all Clint did in response was shrug his shoulders causally. “It’s true.”

“Oh common Reindeer Games don’t be a party pooper,” Steve said, slurring his syllables together slightly. “Just do it.”

(Y/N) cracked up laughing all of a sudden, causing everyone to give her an odd look. “It’s just… Shia LaBeouf… Just do it!” she managed to get out between fits of laughter. After a few more good giggles, she sobered up and cleared her throat. “Sorry, when I drink I laugh a lot. It’s kinda my thing.”

Loki was shaken from his reverie of watching (Y/N) laugh by the unsettling feeling of a cold hand on his wrist. His gaze shifted upwards to Mantis who was standing beside him with closed eyes and lit up antenna, reading his emotions.

“You feel… love,” she announced. Clint spit out his beer mid sip while Tony chocked on his own spit and began coughing.

“Loki? No way,” he said, waving a hand dismissively. “That can’t be right.”

Loki cleared his throat and shook his head. “Yea it’s not.”

“No it’s right I can assure you,” Mantis said, firmly opening up her eyes and not taking her hand off of Loki.

He knew she was right, but he wasn’t about to admit that in front of everyone. So Loki began sputtering out excuses. “I mean yea I guess I have some sort of weird familial love for Thor but-“

“No, no no,” Mantis interrupted him, closing her eyes again. “It’s a romantic, sexual sort of love.”

Jaws dropped around the room in shock as Loki continued to sputter in denial, though nobody believed him.

And just as Loki thought things couldn’t get any worse, they did.

Mantis’s eyes shot open as she took her hand off of Loki’s wrist, pointing her finger at (Y/N). “For her” she announced loudly.

Loki felt blood rush to his cheeks as he began to shake his head frantically, eyes wide. “No, no I don’t,” he rushed out quickly. Steve’s chest began to rumble as he cracked up laughing, clutching his chest.

“Aw that’s sweet,” Tony cooed, covering his mouth with his hand to hide a smile. “I ship it.”

(Y/N) looked at him confused then back at Loki. “Wait… are you serious?” she asked in disbelief, a smile slowly coming onto her lips.

“Look… I really don’t want to talk about this here,” Loki admitted, twiddling his thumbs together.

Clint shrugged his shoulders. “Might as well. You’re running outta time. We might all die tomorrow.”

“Dude,” Tony muttered unimpressed. “Way to kill the mood.”

“It’s true though.”

Loki stood up out his chair with a sigh and walked over to (Y/N). He grabbed her wrist, motioning for her to stand up, and began walking them out of the room towards someplace more secluded.

“Get some!” Steve hiccupped as they left the room, wolf whistles following soon thereafter.

Loki rolled his eyes, turning to face (Y/N) after they rounded a corner. “Look-“ he began, but was interrupted by her crashing her lips into his.

He tensed up slightly, surprised, but responded almost immediately none the less. The kiss was short and sweet, (Y/N)’s lips tasting like the remanences of their earlier tequila shots.

After a moment, Loki pulled away. He put his hands on (Y/N)’s shoulders and raised an eyebrow. “Are you kissing me because you’ve been drinking or because you actually like me?” he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. “Both,” (Y/N) replied smiling mischievously.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Loki surged forward and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

The first of many more to come.

[cupofchiya]

hey everyone! this is mostly for my moots, specifically the ones i talk to but:

if i was messaging u and i kinda just...stopped, sorry about that. basically school started and its been kicking my ass so i wont be that active on tumblr until the next real school break. if u wanna talk to me, dm-ing me @Guaplord4 (ik the usernames stupid shush) would be a much safer bet since im still pretty active there

and yea!

[book-n-bean]

So, I’ve been dealing with - and trying to figure out - this whole bisexuality thing for a while now. I can’t remember the first time I started wondering whether I liked girls, or even the first time I started noticing/liking girls, but I know I started to truly think about it at the end of 2016; I said that I was bisexual. And then I later took that back and then said it again, pushed it to side; absolutely messed with the whole idea of it for ages because I was confused. I was confused about how I could be attracted to both genders, and then I started to question what liking someone really meant and then why I liked boys vs why I liked girls, what I didn’t like about each gender; etc. And it’s not like I sat there for days on end just thinking about it, my thoughts on my bisexuality have always been broken up, I’ve never just sat and thought about it for a while. And maybe that’s just because it’s a hard topic, even as I wrote ‘my bisexuality’ just then I kinda grimaced...because I feel self-conscious about it or wrong, I can’t really explain it. 

So...I think the first time I remember really noticing girls was in year 8. I remember being in math class and I was watching other people walk in and this girl, who is now my friend, who’ll I’ll call Selene, came in and I just remember noticing her boobs and thinking like ‘wow they’re kinda big,’ even though they aren’t really? Like they’re not huge, anyway...it was absent minded though, it wasn’t like ‘oh, wow! i’m attracted to her boobs, she’s hot!’ it was just an observation. And then at the end of year 8 we were at the beach with a group of friends and I was like ‘shit, I wish my boobs were like that,’ and that’s the first time I kind of consciously thought about boobs looking good and being attractive; but I still kind of absentmindedly pushed that aside; I was like, it’s not a big deal, because it wasn’t to me at the time. 

And yea, my memory has been all kinds of crazy lately, so I’ve been having trouble remembering a lot of things, so I honestly can’t think of another specific time around then that I was thinking about girls, but I do vaguely remembering noticing girls more and more after that. I’m an observant person, so it’s completely normal for me to just notice people and little things about them, but it wasn’t like that, it was the little thoughts that came with observing. And again, it was all absent-minded and I didn’t focus on it, but I remember starting to think ‘oh she’s pretty,’ and stuff that like, I wish my memory was better haha. :(((

Anyway, I came out to my mum and to her boyfriend, at some point, like a year or two ago, i think? Around then. And I can’t remember why I came out to them, what made me do it, what was going on in my head at the time; all I know, is that I came out to them. I can’t even remember who i did it with first, maybe mum’s boyfriend? Anyway, he took it well, he just said it was okay and told me about his sister who’s a lesbian and yea, he hugged me and it was great; smooth. And then I told my mum, and I think she was surprised or she didn’t really believe me, I’m pretty sure she said something like, “really?”. But we sat down, we talked about it, she was asking me all these questions about whether I could imagine being with a girl, kissing a girl, sex, marriage; all that. And she didn’t really agree with it, she told me she believed in a man and a woman and I said that I understood that and that’s half what I’d believed in for a while, but basically, I was just being like, “i don’t know what’s going on, but this is how I feel, this is what I am, so i’m just going to accept that right here right now.” and she kind of just accepted it and it was all good, we haven’t talked about it since then - which is probably because I had a boyfriend at the time and up until about a month and a half ago, woo. 

So, yes, I had a boyfriend while I was figuring this all out - and I’m in that stage of hating him and wishing that he would fall off the face of the earth or just disappear for a while so I didn’t have to seem him *cough* forever *cough*. But yea, I remember telling him that I was bisexual and it was pretty chill, he was a little concerned though, and he was kind of selfish? I’ll get into that. Anyway, a little while after that I had one of those Saraha accounts where people ask you stuff anonymously online and you answer them by taking screenshots and people them on Instagram/Snapchat stories, and someone asked me whether I was bisexual. And I was honest, I was accepting it and I didn’t feel like I had anything to hide then, so I said yes. And then my boyfriend at the time got kind of upset and mad about it, he was kind of like, “Why would you post that online? Why would you out yourself online?” but it wasn’t really a big deal to me, like in my mind, bisexuality wasn’t as big as being gay or being straight, it was like, maybe I like girls, maybe I like boys; and at the time I was a bit like, I don’t know I’m just trying to figure it out. So anyway, he was kinda all like “How do you think that makes me look?” And all that, like me being bisexual made him some kind of prop or joke, but I genuinely liked him and was attracted to him. And after that he sort of let it go for a while and we just didn’t talk about it. 

BUT THEN...two things happen, like 6 months apart or something like that, maybe even a year or longer. The first, one of my transgender friends, at the time, asked me to hang out with him and be his New Years Eve Kiss, and I was like “sure, that sounds fun, sneaking out, kissing, woo.” Anyway, I had a boyfriend, and in no way really even cared about whether it was cheating (i did a little bit, shush), and that’s when we talked about the bisexuality because obviously, he was upset. So, I was like, “look, I love you, I want to be with you, but I just want this one chance to kiss a *girl* and I promise it’ll never happen again.” and clearly he was still pissed off and upset with this but he agreed, reluctantly. Long story short, it didn’t end up happening, we hung out but we didn’t kiss; I think we both wanted to, but we were both hesitant and it just wasn’t right at the time. And I was glad for it, I remember walking home in the dark that night at like 2am and it was cold and I didn’t have data so I couldn’t text my boyfriend to reassure him of anything, and I know he went to bed sad or he’d sent me a text saying he wish I wasn’t doing what I was doing. So that sucked, and I felt horribly guilty and just sad and incredibly bad for what I’d put him through. But I was glad I didn’t cheat on him and that I didn’t do that. But yea, I do remember now wishing I had taken the opportunity to kiss that friend because I did, and still do have an attraction to them and I’ve always wondered what it would have felt like; but yea, oh well. 

Anyway, the second thing that happened, a long while later, was that, again on this Saraha app or something, someone messaged me; “Hey, I like u, okay bye.” and I was like, oh shit, and then she anonymously told me she was a girl and she didn’t want to tell me who she was because I had a boyfriend. But she did end up telling me, andddd that went badly because I had a bit of a crush on her too but I’d been ignoring it. Anyway, my boyfriend was watching all this and he was like “fuck, im losing my girlfriend, there’s this random girl coming after her” so that was fun, and I told him Iiked her too and he was like, “well fuck”. *the amount of times we should have broken up before we actually did is insane* Anyway, the crush ended up dying out, you’re welcome boyfriend. But it was still a thing that happened where I was genuinely, basically for the very first time, acknowledging that I had a crush on a girl, and imagining being with a girl. 

So after that happened, I started to venture more and more into this whole bisexuality thing and I really started to think about it a bit more, but again, my thoughts on it would happen like once every few months and then I’d just forget about it because I was busy with my boyfriend. And I’d just like to say, through all of this that I’ve been talking about, it was only girls that I was getting curious about and having feelings for, besides loving my boyfriend and being attracted to him, etc, i wasn’t interested in any other guys; so yea. It was pretty chill for a while, I just kept on observing, noticing little things about girls, no major crushes or anything at all really. 

And then, a new girl came to our school, and I didn’t think much of it for a couple of months. And then we started talking and we had a lot in common and were just texting eachother non stop for a while. I remember going to school one monday after we’d been texting all weekend, and I didn’t have a crush on her or anything, I don’t think, but when I saw her I got all nervous and stuff, and I wanted to go and talk to her but i was nervous to do it; which was really weird to me, and I remember thinking, “oh this feels like a crush” but I was thinking generally, not even considering having a crush on her. So I did end up going and talking to her, and we were so shy and nervous around eachother, it was really sweet actually. All i remember was wanting to make her laugh and just loving it when she did laugh at stuff I said because it made me feel so funny; and I just remember whenever I was around her, for ages afterwards even, I just felt nicer and I wanted to compliment her and make her smile and she kinda made me just want to be a nice person and never hurt her, etc. 

So then, fast forward a couple of months, to the start of 2019. A group of my friends went to the beach for her birthday, and the entire day, this girl and I were together constantly. We’d be sitting and talking all taking, taking selfies together, we even got some where she kissed my cheek. And when we’d talk, it’d be about serious stuff and then dirty stuff or we’d just be joking around; we always had that balance when we talked about stuff. And for the longest time at the start of this year, I just remember admiring her and thinking about her a lot. Anyway, a little while later, we all hung out at the beach again, and the first thing I thought when I saw her was how cute she looked, like she had her hair in a high bun and she was smiling and wearing a long hoodie and no pants, but a bikini; you get the picture. And she just looked so cute? Like I just wanted to cuddle her, and I realised I really wanted to kiss her that whole day while we were hanging out, I was kinda pushing the thought aside, but not as much as all those other thoughts in the past. So this was my first real intense crush on a girl, not intense, just sort of serious. 

So if we fast forward to now, I’ve thought about her tons, we’ve had sleepovers (well, one), she helped dye my hair pink, sleepover wasn't that great bc we got bored really quickly and we were being shy. She did my makeup for a wedding about a month before that which was really sweet. I’m sure stuff kept happening in between, we were really friendly to each other, just being there for each other, texting a lot and just talking about problems, sending memes, joking; all that stuff. We’d even have conversations where we kind of talked about dirty things we’d done or wanted to do, not with each other or anything, just in general. And we’d talk about nudes, we even shared our nudes with each other just because we were like “look at how great my butt/boobs/stomach, etc. looks in this picture” and it was chill but I think we both liked it. I think she told me she was bisexual as well, we had some sort of conversation about that and yea. But a couple months ago, we were just being friendly, we kind of drifted apart since the start of the year, but we got closer and we were just being kinda cutesy? Like hugging each other a lot at school, complementing each other, we even ended up writing each other notes and sneaking them into each other’s lockers or pockets, like song lyrics and just cute little messages. We held hands walking to the bus stop and were just being cute, (I still had a boyfriend) and it was platonic like I don’t remember having a crush on her, it was just cool to be close to a girl, my feelings for her had sort of diminished. 

But yea, in general, I’ve had little fantasies about girls and I’ve thought about being bisexual a lot this year. Because I’ve had a huge crush on this guy since the start of the year and it’s still going strong, I had a crush on a guy at work as well but it’s sort of calmed down a lot now. But I’ve also had crushes on girls, well, not really, but the reason I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately is because I am currently harboring a crush on a girl, she’s older than me and she’s cute and it’s so dumb because as if she’d ever want to kiss me or anything. That’s another thing, all it is is kissing, like all I want to do is kiss her, maybe like hang out and get close and text and stuff, but I don’t want a relationship, nor do I want sex. I just want something casual, like being friends but with kissing included, which is dumb. But it’s definitely a crush and it’s basically one of the biggest crushes I’ve had on a girl, besides the other girl that i was just talking about, but this one feels more legit than that crush. Like I don’t know. 

I’ve got crushes on boys and girls, I don’t want to be in a relationship because I’m scarred and hurt and trying to get over one, and will be for a couple of months at least. But I wanted to kiss people, like I really want to kiss people. I just keep thinking about running my hands through their hair and making out and just being close to people and casual and friendly and nice and hugging and all that. I don’t know, maybe I’m just lonely but I’ve never really just wanted to kiss people like this before. 

Anyway, the story’s almost over now, the last thing I have to talk about right now is the ‘fantasies’. I feel like that’s supposed to be a dirty thing but it’s really not, the way I think of it. So I’ve had like two fantasies. One was a while ago, the first fantasy, and I remember it vividly, sitting in my girlfriends bedroom, on a big bed with a peach coloured doona, the whole room had a peachy sort of glow to it. It was  night time, the curtains (peach) were closed, she was sitting behind me against the pillows and I was sitting with my back to her between her legs and she was braiding my hair while we’re watching netflix (not important, but my hair was orange-ish, like light orange, and I think we were watching sex education but im not sure). Anyway, she’s braiding my hair, and she does something likes kisses my neck or I think she wrapped her arms around my neck, like a gentle huggy way, kinda leaning on me, and I turned around and we started kissing, making out. I can’t remember if I got on her lap or not, but I had my hands in her hair and we were just kissing and it was great; I loved the whole idea of it and as soon as I got the fantasy I wrote about it and had a bit of a crisis because I still had a boyfriend at this point and I was like, “oh shit, I really like the idea of that.” And I still do, it’s cute, I’d like that to happen, hehe. 

Anyway, the second fantasy was nothing like that, nothing so vivid, it was just me and the girl I’m currently crushing on, and I think we were just making out on a grey bed, and literally it had barely any details or anything to it at all, but my hands were in her hair, on her, we were just making out and it was intense and it felt good, and that’s it. So I don’t even know. 

But now that I’m single, I definitely wanted to kiss girls before, but now I really want to kiss girls, and as I said, just people in general; boys, girls, whoever. But right now, it definitely feels more like I want to kiss a girl, maybe it’s just because I’ve written about this and just want it now, but it sucks because I’ve got no girls to kiss. I’ve been considering (barely) confessing my feelings to my girl crush and just being like “can I kiss you,” because i kinda reckon she’d say yes, but if she didn’t like me, at all, then she’d say no and things would be awkward asf between us, oof. So that’s fine, it’s something I’m dealing with.

And the final thing, is that I’m going through all of this alone. I know that’s nothing new, because that’s how I deal with most of my problems; in solitude. But it’s hard, because I’ve got so many thoughts and feelings and pent-up energy and frustrations, I guess you could call them. But I have no one to talk to about it. Because my mum wouldn’t know what to say about it, my friend that I hung out at the beach with and all that jazz has been acting really weird towards me for a while and I can’t figure out what I did and I don’t feel like asking because I know she can pretend things are fine a lot even when they aren’t. And most of my friends are just not prepared to talk about stuff like that, they’re all kind of still immature or they just make fun of stuff like being gay and all that, so it would just be really awkward to have a serious conversation about. 

I’ve been thinking about talking to a therapist, but I don’t know who. They don’t tend to help me and I can feel quite awkward talking to them, but clearly by looking at this hour-long bigass rant, I kind of need to talk to someone. And, by the way, I know this is very personal stuff, and I would have written it down in my journal, but that’s a lot of writing and my brain is just overflowing with thoughts right now so I decided this would be a better idea (??). 

Anyway, I’d better wrap this up. 

I’m bisexual. It doesn’t get much easier every time I say it, because I know that admitting it to myself isn’t the hard part anymore, but dealing with it, the feelings and other people is the hard part. So I don’t know what I’ll do, probably push it aside until the feelings push it back into my head; it’s sort of a cycle. I don’t think I’ll find a therapist to talk to, I don’t think it’s a good idea right now, but honestly? I have no idea what a good idea would be right now, in general; I’m out of ideas for how to deal with my life. I’m kinda just trundling along now, looking around cluelessly and trying my best to be kind and happy and laugh and genuinely just try to feel better, but somehow I’m torturing myself, mentally absuing myself, flipping between positivity and negativity, and even accidentally pushing people away and isolating myself a bit; sooooo things are going great. I’ll figure it out. 

But for now, I’d better get my ass to bed because it’s 2:17am, yay, and I’m very tired and will be having some serious trouble tomorrow. Sorry future me, about the mood and the aching tiredness you’re bound to endure, as well as the sleepy bus rides and beep test that you’ll have absolutely no energy to complete. 

Goodnight :))))

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #186

“Aven Repairs”

[Sylveon] Has gone exploring and has entered Arden's room, it looks around curiously-

[Arden] Is sitting at the desk reading a book.

[Sylveon] - Syl!

[Arden] Huh? Whoah... what are you little critter? Besides super cute.

[Sylveon] - Syl!- It jumps around playfully

[Arden] Are you some kind of dog? Do you want to fetch?

[Sylveon] Reaches out with one of it's ribbons-

[Arden] Shys away a little bit. - Are the ribbons part of you?

[Sylveon] Syl!- It nods in affirmation

[Arden] Puts out a hand to feel one of the tendrils.

[Sylveon] Makes happy noises-

[Espurr] Is calling out trying to find Sylveon-

[Arden] What's that weird noise?

[Sylveon] Turns towards the doorway and calls back, leading Espurr in-

[Arden] Another little critter! Hey there? What are you? This little one's buddy- Kneels on the floor.

[Stevenson] -has wondered into the lab with ryan following behind him making happy roars-

[Espurr] Tilts head curiously-

[Arden] Looks out the doorway- What the? Are these your critters mister?

[ryan] -is happily ruing around Stevenson who is looking around he hasn't noticed arden yet-

[Arden] Sir? Are you lost?

[Stevenson] -looks over to arden- oh no I was just exploring because I don't know this place all that well.

[Sylveon] Hides behind Arden while Espurr takes a more defensive stance in front of them-

[Arden] Ah, are you one of the Doctor's friends? You look like a Steve.

[ryan] -sees the Pokémon and get a little closer while trying to keep themselves low to the ground to show they are not going to fight-

[Stevenson] I am a steve, Stevenson to be exact.

[Espurr] Grabs Ryan with telekinesis-

[Arden] Whoah! I think it's okay? Stop that!

[ryan] -wiggles and make scared roars-

[Sylveon] Nudges Espurr which gets them to stop-

[Arden] Your little dragon is pretty cute. I'm Arden.

[ryan] -as soon as he is free he bolts into Stevenson arms-

[Stevenson] it's nice to meet you arden since we are talking names this little guy is ryan.

[Sylveon] Bats at Espurr, trying to get it to play with them-

[Arden] Neat. I guess these guys aren't yours? They seem pretty playful.

[Stevenson] no I never saw them before.

[Espurr] Playfully tackles Sylveon-

[Arden] So if you're a Steve... who are you with? I've been introduced to most of the Herobrines.

[Stevenson] well I came to this server with an alex but I came knowing a brine named Gem.

[Arden] Oh I know her! The chimera! She's amazing. I wish I could share even a 10th of what I've seen here outside, but people would just think I'm crazy....

[Stevenson] she is the reason the server I came from feel apart I don't thing that's amazing.

[Arden] Just looks at him curiously. - I wasn't referring to her actions. I don't know anything about that. Her form is amazing. She's like a mad scientist's masterpiece.

[Silver] Has come looking for his pokemon-

[Stevenson] true she does look like someone had put a bunch of animals together.

[Arden] And so perfectly, it's uncanny. Oh. Hello Silver, are these your pokemon?

[Silver] - Yes, I was wondering where they had gotten to...

[Sylveon] It and Espurr jump into Silver's arms-

[Arden] Is the pink one new? And have you met Stevenson? He's got a little buddy too.

[Silver] - No, Sylveon isn't new, just evolved, and I don't believe we have met...

[Arden] What was it before?

[Silver] - An Eevee

[Stevenson] hello it's nice to meet you.

[Silver] - Same to you

[ryan] -Stevenson puts him down and he just starts to sniff around to learn new smells-

[Arden] Oh the little brown doggie one? Well it's way cuter this way anyway.

[Silver] - It's just one of the many evolutions an Eevee can make

[ryan] -some how find dolly room and goes in-

[Dolly] Was brushing her hair and looks up in suprise. - Wow, you're a teeny little dragon. Did you lose your mommy?

[ryan] -looks up and cocks all three heads while looking at dolly before letting out a tiny roar.-

[Dolly] Gets up and takes some pork chops out of a trunk- are you hungry?

[ryan] -takes the pork chop and eats it splitting it between the three heads-

[Silver] - Was that a dragon I saw?

[Stevenson] that was ryan wait where did he run off to -looks around-

[Silver] - I... ��Apologize for anything which may have happened between it and Sylveon...  Fairy types don't get along with dragons

[Stevenson] nothing really happened exact them giving him a scare so don't worry about it

[Silver] - Sorry...

[Stevenson] it's ok you don't need to be sorry

[Lie] Enters the vine room with Hope- Doc?  You here?

[Doc] Is pacing the floor with a small screen open on hir phone. Yaunfen is snoring softly nearby on top of Doc's Galvantula. - Ergh... It hasn't been that long since the last time....

[Lie] - Doc?  Something wrong?

[Doc] Huh? No! Well not yet... we might have a problem pretty shortly though. How come you brought Hope over?

[Lie] - Weeell, somebody decided it would be a good idea to play tackle the new Vulpix and got a little burned...- She moves Hope so Doc can see the hind leg.  The fur is singed away and there are a few blisters forming

[Doc] Oh dear! Let me put some paste on that. I swear that cold slime is a godsend for this kind of thing... Wait. That's not right. Hang on a moment. I'll be right back. - Xe hurries down the stairs and there's a sound of things clunking and being shuffled about in the lab below.

[Galvantula - Sleepy- Buuzzzrp?

[Yaunfen] Rolls off in their sleep, waking as they hit the floor- Burp!?

[Galvantula] Cuddles the baby with their furry legs- Zzzp! Purrrrrrrrrr

[Lie] Sits on a chest cradling Hope, waiting for Doc to come back-

[Doc] Comes back up the steps and bangs through the door with a small spray bottle- Here! This is perfect and you should take the remainder with you. Just a little spritz.

[Lie] Holds Hope still for Doc-

[Doc] It's for pokemon burns specifically- Xe mists over the nasty wound. -

[Hope] Mewls-

[Doc] Sorry sweetie. It'll heal super quick.

[Galvantula] Assorted noises-

[Doc] Ah, I see. Yaunfen, are you okay?

[Lie] - So Doc, have you figured out anything for Valentine's day?

[Hope] Starts purring-

[Yaunfen] - Burp!

[Doc] That was enthusiastic as usual so I'm going to say it's all good. What? I don't know really. Make mad passionate love to Deerheart in the moonlight and violate every pixel in her body until she squirms in uncontrollable lust and pleads for mercy I suppose? Should I throw in a new outfit on top of all the chocolate too?

[Lie] - Um...  I don't really think it's necessary... Although lingerie is rather common to give...

[Doc] I'm rather perplexed by the idea of donning a thing just so it can be ripped off. It's an odd idea, isn't it?

[Lie] - It's more the visual appeal

[Doc] So far my favorite is still her 'maiden in distress' white shift...

[Lie] Blushes a little-

[Doc] She prefers things with much more leather and metal, and... you've gone rather red Lie. Are you feeling okay?

[Lie] - Fine!  I'm absolutely fine!

[Doc] Picking up some speech patterns from Cp huh? Tut tut Lie.

[Lie] - Oh shush

[Doc] You could wear the corset for Cp again. We'd need a mop to eliminate all the drool.

[Lie] - Not necessary, CP and I have decided not to do anything for Valentines

[Doc] That's kinda sad.... was it really a mutual decision Lie?

[Lie] - Well I've never really done anything for Valentines...  Plus this is CP we're talking about

[Steve] Coming down from the front door with an armload of sugar canes. - Why not Lie?

[Doc] Cp is kind of a stick in the mud...

[Lie] - Why not what?

[Steve] Why have you never done anything for Valentines? I thought it was a common human holiday?

[su] -has managed to beat aven to the front door her yapping can be heard before both come in-

[Steve] Oh hi Aven, come to borrow a cup of sugar? I've got lots.

[Lie] - Well in elementary school we'd just give everyone in the class a card, as you get older you become more selective about who you give things to, usually someone you really like

[Doc] And there's never been someone special... And Cp isn't really romantic... I'm sorry Lie.

[Lie] - Well, if my math is correct, then last Valentines day is when he gave me Rosebud

[aven] no actually I came because I need something else -her face is kind of red and she seems to be having trouble saying what she wants to say-

[Doc] Hmmm...

[Steve] Shoves the sugar in a trunk. - Do you need some water Aven? TO DRINK. You look overheated!

[Lie] - Besides, it's not as if CP can give me chocolates either

[Doc] Isn't wine also a thing? As a gift?

[Lie] - Eeehhhhh...  It can be?

[aven] no I... well I need... I need... protection.

[Steve] Are you in danger?! Who is it? I'll beat the crap out of them!

[Doc] Same.

[Lie] - Is everything okay Aven?

[aven] no I mean for like valentines day for me and ben.

[Steve] OH! So you don't have another baby! I got it. - Nods, he's proud of himself for figuring it out.

[aven] yea we really don't want to end up having more then hyrule.

[Doc] Aven... do you want me to fix you so you can't get pregnant again at all?

[Lie] - I can promise it's painless

[Doc] at Lie-  You know you could always have one of your offensive plants nip him accidently....

[Lie] Turns a shade of dark red- WHY ARE YOU RECOMMENDING THIS!?

[aven] what happens if we change our mind later on

[Doc] At Lie- You'll at least have a passionate night then- at Aven- I can put them back later if you decide to have another baby.

[Lie] Whimpers-

[aven] ok then that will work

[Doc] Okay Aven. You can't deny the last time was pretty hot.

[Lie] - Nope, no, nada, nein

[Doc] Pfft. Don't be like that. Aven? If you want to sit on the steps and lean back I can do this pretty quickly.

[aven] -sits down and lays back su is running around aven before settling next to her head-

[Yaunfen] - Burp?

[Doc] Is setting up hir computer - Now this is actually going to be a little different then Lies because you aren't a brine. I don't want to destroy what I'm taking out.

[Galvantule] Chirps at Yaunfen knowingly-

[aven] got it.

[su] -decides to get up and runs over to yaunfen and galvantule to sniff them-

[Doc] Cp needs to loosen up. I think you guys should do SOMETHING at least. Guilt him into getting you dim sum or something.

[Lie] - I don't know...  We still have some left and he's been going out so much lately...

[Galvantule] Sniffs Su right back and is rather protective of Yaunfen.

[Doc] Ah, I didn't know there were leftovers. - Xe gathers a bit of statick- Can you lift your shirt a bit Aven?

[su] -playfully paws at one of galvantule's legs-

[Yaunfen] Tries to gum Su-

[Galvantule] contented electrical buzzing noise.

[aven] -lifts her shirt enough to leave her stomach exposed-

[Lie] - Honestly Doc, there's no reason to worry about us, worry about you and Deer's night

[su] -tries to jump up to get closer to the two-

[Doc] Takes out what looks like a file folder- What's a good name? Hmmm... how about.... "Potential Babies" I'm not worried.

[Lie] - Oh for fucks sake Doc...

[Doc] Is "egg basket" better?

[Lie] - No

[Doc] Aven, it's yours, what do you want to name it?

[aven] why not the most obvious name "aven's ovaries" it makes the most sense because that's what it's for

[Doc] Good enough. Though, 'the vault' still has a nice ring. - xe's typing with the staticky hand.

[Lie] - Doooooc

[Doc] Reaches down and worms hir fingers into Aven through the ring of interference and plucks out two very small pink pixels. Xe tucks them into the folder and shuts it with a twisting motion that puts a closed zipper around it's open edges. - There we go. Neat and tidy.

[Doc] Holds it out to Aven - It will vanish into your code when you take it from me, but that's okay. It will keep them safe.

[aven] -takes the folder- thank you doc but are you sure it still being in my coding won't allow for babies?

[Lie] Scratches Hope's ears-

[Doc] It's compressed. You can't open it on your own.

[Steve] And nobody has to go measure BEN to get his condom size now.

[su] -sees hope getting scratches and goes over to lie and rubs against her leg being to be pet as well-

[aven] -pulls down her shirt- ah ok thank youdoc. also true steve very true.

[Lie] Smiles and leans down to pet Su as well-

[su] -leans into the pet-

[Doc] You're welcome Aven, you know it's my pleasure.

[Steve] Grins - I'm sure he'd bitch about having to wear one anyway.

[Doc] And thankfully he's not a brine either. They're a bit too fertile at times.

[Steve] Does some blushing of his own.

[Lie] - Well, I'll get out of your guys hair...

[Doc] Aw, you know you're always welcome Lie.

[Lie] - It was good seeing you Aven, without the drama of baff time

[aven] It was good to see you as well lie

[Lie] Heads outside and starts heading for home-

[Doc] Annnd... I forgot to tell her what I was cussing about.

[Steve] Is it bad?

[Doc] Shows Steve hir phone.

[Steve] AGAIN?

[aven] what is it?

[tmntl0verthings]

Forbidden Love

So this is something new i thought of. Don't judge its just a Fun idea for a fanfic. please just enjoy :D  

What would you say if you actually met your true love but You were taken by someone you already loved and He the same?

So after you helped April deliver a couch to a back alley Thanks to casey being a lazy ass. "Okay..now that we're in an alley. Now what. I mean..its a brand new couch in a dingy alley." "hang on.." she put her finger up in the air shushing you as she was calling someone. You crossed your arms raising a brow. Then she started talking Lacking your interest in this whole thing. you looked away and turned your body to face the Long alley down to the City itself to see people passing and barging their way through the hustle and bustle. Then you turned around to see Men..3 Green shelled men. Your eyes widened to see a Red clad turtle lift up the couch from behind all on his own using his Gargantuan muscles to then look down on you with his shadow covering you. You backed away as you saw april talking to  the purple and orange clad turtle. "where's leo?" she asked. "eh; He had some Leader thing to take care of." "mikey..He had to go start dinner. How is that a leader thing?" Don asked "I don't know. Everything he does is leadery." Mikey explained as don rolled his eyes as April showed a smile. "you know..Its not to late to be my Girl." he used his Casanova voice with a slant of his brows as he leaned on her shoulder. "knock it off" raphael demanded. "Fine fine.." Raphael had his head looking over his shoulder to then turned his whole body to lift up April onto his shoulder with the couch on the other. She smiled as he then kissed her lips. Your life swirled around you as your eyes Widened making your pupils dilate. "WHAT IS HAPPENING!!" you screamed. April looked over her shoulder "Oh your still here?" "YES! I am still here!" you gestured your whole body. "Who are these people! And What is happening..what what--" "its ok, its ok." Donnie tried to calm you down as he walked over to you. "Dont! Come..near me." you backed away. "Its ok. seriously. We aren't gonna hurt you. I'm Donnie. IF that makes you feel better." which oddly it did. You relaxed your shoulders a little as you then looked through his glasses to see his eyes. "And i'm Michelangelo. But the ladies call me Mikey." He winked at you as he was standing behind you. You exhaled as you blubbered your lips leaving your eyes wide then relaxing your eye lids. "wow..This is allot to take in..Then who's that?" you pointed over to raphael. "Thats raph." "raph.." you spoke quietly. "Come on. Its ok. Why don't you come with us. You did help us get a new couch." donnie offered as he held his arm out as a way of letting you go first. "Where are we going?" Donnie clicked a button making The garage door in the alley lifted up like a door with trashcans glued to it. Your eyes widened with Excitement "WOW Thats AWESOME!" "heh yo think thats awesome. You should see out crib." Mikey talked to you Literally the entire time you guys walked there.

~~You entered their home to see its was lit with Christmas Lights Even though it was no where near Christmas. It was actually June. you looked around their home to see what was just..wow. "THis is where you live! Its amazing!" "guyssss did you seriously bring someone down here?" leo complained. "Isn't she a cutie." Mikey told his brother as he hugged you under his one arm. Leo crossed his arms as his eyes looked from his brother to you  As you looked at him. his eyes were beyond blue. Incredibly blue. You then looked to your right to see the red clad man Carry the couch Right by you Like a titanic as he then set it down 15 feet away from where you were. You watched him as he intrigued you more so than the others. Was it because he Intimated you when you first saw him? Was it the curiousity on April's relations with him? It wasn't easy to tell why. But you did. You were gonna walk over to him to then see April beat you to him to give him a kiss on his jaw as she stood on her tippy toes.

Later~!~

You were talking and laughing with all of them like you knew them for years. "okay okay its y/n's turn." "I still can't believe you got me to play this childish game." you laughed "awe come on and spin the bottle already." mikey whined "alright alright." You spun it as you saw it lean and wobble to one side more than the other as a hollow whistle filled the air. It slowed down passed Mikey, leo and crookedly landed on Raph. "ooooh :3" mikey oohed. raph growled at Mikey "shad up." he barked. "alright now you gotta kiss him." "I dunno. He's got a giffy and all." "Giffy?" "Girlfriend." "XD you'll  be fine." leo laughed. "okaayyy." it was weirder cause april wasn't even around. You crawled over across the tile to raphael to then sit on your knees and pushed yourself up to his lips. This spark poked at his heart One time but it was enough for him to know This was what was missing. This thing.. ~ You released your lips from him as you strangely longed for him more. "Alriigghttt." mikey clapped. you smiled as you bit your bottom lip leaving him alone as you backed up. You all then watched a movie afterwards with Pizza. 5 pizzas if i must be specific. You had two slices. For some reason you appetite wasn't to strong today. Then after that there was another movie to then Make 3 of the brothers go to bed. You and raphael were the last up. You were bonding over scary movie 3. You two made fun and lil' parodies of it as well. It was 1:52 am. You watched the blue TV lighting bounce off their home as it was pitch black. "Not gonna lie it's weird being up while everyone else is sleeping." "tell me about it. I'm usually in bed before fearless is. I guess you could say I'm lazy." "naahhh its not lazy to love your bed." you teased with a laugh as you bit your lip after the laugh. He was realizing it was your thing when you laughed You would bite your lip sometimes. It was kinda cute. "So how did you and april meet?" you asked "She was following us after saving people from a heist and then it lead from there. She tried going out with casey but she didn't like him." "casey?" you questioned. "He's another dork on the team." he used his thumb to point behind him Like someone was actually there. "not gonna lie, He's a real wannabe." "Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want." you sang quietly "Hahaaha XD nice"  Half an hour later you two laughed with and at each other. You two looked at each as you laughed like your stomachs would burst to stare at each others eyes. the TV at a blank Blue screen from the VHS that stopped running as Everyone was asleep. It was just you..and him. Alone. Together. You looked at each other as you looked down at his lips while he looked into your (Ocean eyes/Forest of colors/Pearl Embers/Caramel drops/Richest of chocolate eyes) His lips almost said something as he then looked away and didn't. You coughed into a fist "I-I have to go. its seriously late." you stood up off the couch and walked out of their home. He exhaled as he sunk into their New Cushioned couch. He looked at the ceiling as he felt the world spin around him. His arms spread out along the couches arch. Thinking about April...He thought about those good times he's had with her but there was always; Always something missing He could never place it. Even during the most intense Sexual moments. He couldn't feel that special feeling that was leaving a crack in his heart that would never fill. But when he was with you. His heart Overflowed with whatever it was..Something about you brought it out. You made him happier than ever before. And its such a sad thing to confess when you thought it was with someone else and it turns out..its not. What do i do? he asked himself as his eyes pleaded for an answer.

3 weeks later~~ you visited them for a few days during each week. You did have a life of your own to maintain but Seeing raphael every time was the best part. He would light up as he saw you walk into the room. It was the same for you. You two immediately clicked. And always had something to talk about.

You woke up with your sunBlinds Burning your eyes with sunlit rays of dust. "nnrrr." you groaned as you rubbed your eyes with your wrist to see you cat/Dog sleeping next to you. you smiled softly as you rubbed its head with your nails softly as it (Purred/Just let you rub their head it rolled around a little). You then looked up at the city from afar through your blinds to remember last night. "this is stupid." you spoke aloud annoyed. You got up out of bed to ignore your phone that has a Text on it saying "morning beautiful" from your boyfriend. You went into the bathroom and went potty. Cleaned yourself up. Got ready for work at Channel 6. You were an intern. More like Vernon's Intern. You yawned as you bit into a raw Bagel on your way out of your Apartment. Yea..You actually have your own apartment. Your parents pulled some strings with the landlord. Blah blah blah  You had your every Day; Day but you just thought of Raphael all day. Like he was your boyfriend or crush. You exhaled as you left the building "hey y/n!" you heard called from behind you. You turned around to see april jogging after you "ey' whats up." "wanted to know if you wanted to come and see the guys with me today." You two started walking "I'm gonna stay home today. Feeling weird." "oh sick?" "meh not sure." you lied. "alright." She fasted walked ahead of you to go see raphael as fast as she could. You sighed as you took the rubber band around your wrist and let go of it hitting your raw skin. You flinched as This technique was not working. you've been doing it all day long with no success. "I hate this..." you spoke solemnly. "WHy must i have this when I already have someone. For real.. I mean come on." you thought to yourself. You missed the simpler days when no boys were in your life. You felt a chill on your back as you continued walking. ~~You arrived home as you placed the keys on the tray to see raphael in your apartment. "how..did you know i lived here." "I followed you." "well thats not creepy at all." "y/n..There's something i need to tell you. I've known you for so short of a time span But I feel something. Its wrong for me to come here and just pour out to you but With april..its happy and fun i guess but with you. Its something New! This new happiness. And its not that your a verity. I know verity; i know the difference. Your YOU and your something I need in my life. Please. If I dumped april would you be with me." You were stupefied with this. What could you say. let alone do? You wanted to say yes..but you have someone too. "I-I--" you started as you saw his eyes leading you in. "I don't know. I've..felt the same with you. This interesting; Loving; Fresh feeling. Its like the world got brighter. But...I have someone and you do too. I couldn't possibly.." "okay..I understand." He then climbed out the window to leave you standing there like Non of it happened. You were honestly regretting your decision..cause you wanted him. You wanted the whole thing to rewind so you could say yes. Yes raphael! i will be yours! I will give up everything..just to be with you.

6pm~~  you entered your room after a home cooked dinner you had cooking in the crock pot all day ready for you. You exhailed as you closed the door with your back closing the door. You closed your eyes as you slid down the door (with your hair brushing against it/With your hair Clumping up into a pile a'top your head). 'Its for the best.' you tried convincing yourself. You then stood up to take your top off and place it on the chair at your desk. You turned around from your bed to face the window but instead faced someones shell plate. You looked up with only your bra and Jeans on to see his green orbs look down at you. You backed away from your bed "whatcha doin.." you asked uncertain. "Whats so great about being a hero when you can't break the rules once in a while." Raphael stated as he then plastered you to the wall breaking down the walls between you two and denying he even had someone. But he wanted you instead. Only you. He wanted to know everything about you. What made you tick. What made you so..he couldn't explain it even in his own mind. Your eyes widened from his words "But-" your words were cut off by his kiss that moved along your lips. Your eyes relaxed and rolled to the back of your head as you allowed it. You didn't wanna fight it. You never did. You were just going along with what someone else might think of you But at this point. You didn't care. His breath hit your skin as did yours to him. You had this kind of passion. A passion that was unreachable to anyone else. It was mysterious, sensual and above all..a turn on. You Knew what this new feeling was and It was Not lust. It was the yearning for Raphael. To be one with him. "y/n.." he spoke his deep throat voice through the kiss.. "Ye?" you breathed "Will you be mine?" "Like marriage?" you asked as you pulled away and stood in front of him; cleavage and all "no XD no " "oh~ phew." "no i mean as my woman. No one else's." "What about april" you asked worried for her. "Don't worry. I'll take care of it. Don't need you to worry." you smiled as you then leaned up as he knelt down to kiss you some more. His chilled hands felt up your body from your showing Hips to your waist to your shoulders to your jaw. He loved every second of it. "So it that a yes?" he breathed "mhm." you answered. He smiled through the kiss as he then hugged you while he continued. He then pushed you against the wall gently as he started to kiss your neck then Your shoulder back up to your neck.

I know that we are upside down; So just hear me out. I know we are made to break so what i don't miiindddd

Are you gonna stay the night!🎶

He unzipped your pants and pulled them off of you as you then saw him do the same to his pair of jeans

Doesn't mean were bound for liiffeee 🎶

He pressed you into the comforters as he continued to kiss you

Oh a'wow a'wow Are you gonnnaaaa stay the Night He then had you completely naked as was he. The blanket covered the both of  you up. Engulfing both of you. Are you gonna stay the night, Doesn't mean we're bound for life~! Your face filled with pleasure and somewhat pain from him being inside of you. He was bigger than most men. your face blushed as your eyes closed; teeth clinched. I am a fire; Gasoline; Come pour yourself all over me..

He held your body in his arms as he felt this new sexual; Generative; State of being. Nothing like april. Better. And He loved it. He felt like he found the one he wanted to be with forever. Even if Marriage wasn't in your cards. He didn't care. He wanted you..Forever.

Are you gonna stay the night?

You two relaxed in a full sized bed as his calves hung off the end of the bed while your were curled up next to him keeping your cold legs warm under the sheets n' blankets. His arm around your waist as his other arm propped his head up from the pillow. He looked over to you as his pupils dilated bigger like he couldn't get enough of you. He needed to see more of you. He then kissed your forehead and leaned his head against yours as he looked at the stick on Glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. "I do love you y/n." "mm..(you smiled (: ) I love you too.. Its incredible how shortly we've known each other for.." "I know.." he huffed a laugh at the end in astonishment. You closed your eyes as you laid on him. The end..