#and yet i regret not a second of this

[pearlcaddy]

lockwood & co appreciation week 💀 favorite ship

Locklyle [insp]

[cryptiduni]

“white mourning.”

[mihai-florescu]

Aaaand that's where the first half ends folks!

[ganondoodle]

got visually spoiled on the literally last thing i was still actively missing and working towards in totk but i dont think im gonna like it anyway ...

if it is what i think it is, and what it looks like to be, its just yet another nail in the coffin (or however you say that) as to why the lore sucks in this game even tho it had such good setup and so much potential

[segernatural]

what is castiel's greatest regret?

link to panel is here, timestamp: 20:54, images below cut

when he was god he could've fixed the world but failed to

'he harboured his feelings for 10 years without actually sharing them, and waited until he was about to die to share his affections'

he never really patched things up with his angel brethren in heaven

he never actually felt like he belonged on earth

(likely connected to above but) he had very few friends

he had a very, very limited wardrobe

as cas looks back on his life, it's probably nothing but one giant sweep of regret

misha did book-end it with:

"Well, I think, in the big picture, Cas... the thing that I like about that character is that he always tried to do the right thing, always tried to do what he thought was good and righteous. And sometimes he made mistakes, but that was always his North Star, and I quite like that about him."

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

"i mess up things and then i don't have the energy to fix them up" yes brain true sentence but no brain the appropriate response is NOT "therefore i should kill myself (and here's how)"

[therianimal]

I have always said on this blog that I'm animal AND human. I've openly claimed since my very first posts that human is one of my species identities, in a way. It's still professed in my About Me. But over the past year I've felt more and more alienated from humanity, and I'm not sure whether it's true anymore.

If I'd had to guess a few years ago, I would have thought that if I ever lost connection with humanity it would be because of my otherkinity. Because I felt more attached to being otherkind than being human. But it hasn't really been that at all. It's been my asexuality, my autism, my psychosis, my neurodivergence in general.

It's so hard to feel human when I look at the vast majority of humans and see something completely different than what I am. When I "don't get" things that are supposed to "make us human", like sexual attraction or the elaborate dance of social interaction. Of course logically I know that I'm not the only ace or neurodivergent person out there, that we're more common than most people realize, but--

I still see humans and don't see a reflection of myself. I don't understand them. They don't understand me. As an autistic person, that feeling of being an alien among humans, a different species, an ugly duckling/swan among ducks - it's so profound. It's so alienating.

And as a disabled person it's easy to see how little human society WANTS me. Wants me to exist, accommodates my participation in it. I am isolated not by choice but by my own nature and the nature of the society I live in. I feel such a fondness for humans; I really love them. I'm not misanthropic in the way you'd expect. But I also feel so utterly exiled from them.

In the end, it feels like I'm choosing between being a human that's broken, that's contructed wrong, or being something that's not human at all. Maybe the latter is marginally more comforting. But it feels less to me like proudly reclaiming nonhumanity and more like grasping at the few pathetic scraps I can reach as a person who's been shut out. It hurts.

It feels like this world wrenches humanity from me and I'm too exhausted to keep holding on. It would be such a relief to finally let go, but also something so painful to mourn. Giving up on the idea of ever truly being a member of a group; accepting that there are so few people like me that I'll never completely fit into the human world. I love animals, I love monsters, I love the strange, the queer, the grotesque, the insane, the deviant, the bizarre, the fundamentally unhuman.

But I wish it was possible to have both.

[qangelbluebird]

Going from dead/non-updating media to technically-updating-but-games-take-years-to-make media to qsmp is wild. From nothing to “the link is still missing where is missing link<-(it’s been a year)” to “do you remember,,,, QSMP,,,, it’s been decades<-(it has been five days. It is coming back in another five days. You people are fascinating(pos))”

[yashley]

“I’m really sorry.” “So am I.”

[mars-ipan]

oh yeah okay that hospital visit was traumatic for sure. okay yeah

[theflyingfeeling]

tomorrow-me's gonna hate tonight-me, part 3522

(an incoherent work-related rant in the tags, read if you will but it's boring lol)

[aparticularbandit]

so playing development board with hina (so i can komaru, kyoko, hina, sonia girl squad the tower until i get my other besties), and the event with kiyo, just.

hina: your sister seems pretty cool! you talk about her a lot! kiyo: she would love to meet you. hina: uh. sure...? sakura: -immediately shows up- kiyo: uh. sakura: sorry i look intense. i just finished training. kiyo: uh. aoi: we should go get food! bye, kiyo! tell me more about your sister later! kiyo: ...i will never talk about my sister when sakura is around ever....

[orcelito]

ok i am actually so very angry and there's literally nothing i can do to fix it. life keeps going on. she might even be happy. and fuck dude, i'll make sure im happy too, i was a fully developed person before she was in my life and i'll continue to be one without her. but God Damn, the fact that she can just do something so blatantly awful and unfair to me and then run off without any actual repercussions is just so fucking rankling to me.

like perhaps she feels guilty. she said she did when it was all going down. but it was just something she "needed to do". so obviously she didn't feel guilty enough or she wouldnt have done it like that lmaoooo

i really did deserve to have a good solid yell at her. but unfortunately, by the time i did see her in person i just wanted her out of my fucking life. so. no yelling was done, unfortunately.

[justablah56]

head in my hands my show is over but no one here knows it unless they miraculously live in my area and somehow decided to come see this highschool show for some reason

[justice4sasuke]

Character Roundups Round 2: Naruto Uzumaki

Naruto's relationship with Sasuke as written and framed by Kishimoto: Naruto and Sasuke are the quintessential rival/best friend relationship (with all the problems inherent therein). Naruto's the loser, Sasuke is the cool one, Naruto wants to beat Sasuke, Sasuke gets an inferiority complex when Naruto starts getting actually good ("good"), etc. etc. When Sasuke starts to turn to "the dark side" and fights with Naruto, Naruto never gets a talking to like Sasuke does despite also wanting to fight Sasuke (or at least not one on screen) which says to me Naruto's behavior is considered okay by the narrative.

When it come to the first Valley of the End fight, Naruto's goal of getting Sasuke back is seen as noble and being a good friend (threatening to break someone's arms and legs is classic good friend behavior), but something is still missing considering Naruto fails. What Kishimoto thought Naruto was missing, strength or something ideological or a mix of both I'm not sure.

Naruto at the start of Shippuden is fully obsessed with Sasuke and determined to bring him back. I get the sense that Naruto is still supposed to be considered noble and a good friend for this, but somewhat misguided considering he fails to "rescue" Sasuke during their first meeting after two years. What Naruto is supposed to have learned I'm not sure, but Jiraiya dying and Konoha getting destroyed did it probably. Sure, he has a full panic attack because everyone wants to kill Sasuke, but that's just to show how nice and caring Naruto is (Sasuke is also having a full mental breakdown but he's evil for that). Also Naruto is once again told that he needs to make a decision and he refuses to do so and instead decides he and Sasuke are going to die together because that's normal friend behavior in this world.

Now Naruto barely had an arc to begin with, but after controlling the nine tails thing I really feel like we are supposed to think Naruto has it all figured out and he just has to win the war and get everyone to think like he does. And this includes caring about Sasuke so hard (and beating each other up) that Sasuke realizes he cared about Naruto too all along and they should stop fighting and bring the ninja world together and be friends forever. And as always Naruto was a noble and good friend to Sasuke this whole time, Sasuke just needed to see that.

How it should have gone: Well, first and foremost, before we even mention Sasuke, Naruto needed an arc. He was primed to have his own arc by the end of the Wave arc with him wanting to become a ninja on his own terms rather than being a tool for the village. Ironically it seems his own terms were being inflexible, refusing to make decision, yelling about his ninja way, and refusing to examine the problems and history of his village that he supposedly didn't want to be a tool of. Not only that, but Naruto understandably never learned how to interact with others and rather than that also being part of his journey, he only cares about others when he relates to them, he projects himself onto Sasuke rather than being a friend to him, and he refuses to respect Sasuke's very clear boundaries. And of course it would have helped if Naruto and Sasuke came off as actual friends instead of Kishimoto saying they are friends while they give off the vibe of "teammates, begrudgingly" and "way too into each other considering the amount of animosity between them".

Make Naruto and Sasuke actually friends and have Naruto learn how to act like a human are pretty straight forward so let's move on to the big one: giving Naruto an actual arc that incorporates Sasuke since Kishimoto wants his NS shit so bad. It's kinda funny actually how an arc for Naruto is just kind of sitting there as soon as Naruto says he wants to be a ninja his own way and Kishimoto ignores it in favor of not making Konoha look bad like this fucking village is worth preserving more than your main character.

I feel like the best way to go about a Naruto character arc would be his desire to have his own ninja way clashing with his desire to have the adulation and attention of the village. I'm fine with everything before shippuden, the only thing I would feel the need to change is once again Naruto and Sasuke being more convincing as friends and Naruto isn't framed as completely in the right and not also getting a talking to during their first and second fights. When shippuden hits though, especially after the Pain fight when Naruto gets the attention of the village like he always desired, I would start showing Naruto straying from his dream of not just being a tool of the village. We could add some stuff during that first Gaara arc that maybe hints at Naruto having problems with his role of being a ninja and a jinchuuriki and maybe some dissatisfaction with the village not being super committed to what's going on with Sasuke (since let's be real, those elders especially should be sweating with him gone) just to bring home the point that Naruto doesn't always agree with the workings of a ninja village, but he still wants their approval. Then dun dun! Naruto still basking in the love from the village hears that Sasuke kidnapped Killer Bee and the Cloud Village is on the warpath and Konoha (Danzo) was like go the fuck ahead (you know Danzo was like yes, please, god the last one) and Naruto is like well I don't want them to kill my friend I'll just go reason with the raikage and then I'll get Konoha to agree not to do anything to Sasuke. Shock and awe, the raikage is like nah and not only that some asshole shows up and says Konoha killed Sasuke's clan. This Naruto simply can't believe, but even if they did...wasn't it for the best? Surely, Konoha wouldn't do something that was objectively abhorrent. Thinking this when Naruto runs into Sasuke again who is fully having a breakdown Naruto tells him he will fight him for the village, betraying his own promise to himself to "save" Sasuke and becoming a tool of the village.

Honestly, after that I personally would have Naruto go train or whatever on the World Turtle but skip the dark Naruto and Kurama shit. Just make the tailed beasts chakra demons like we've been pretending they are, honestly I would have cut out any reference to them talking or having thoughts and kept it as an evil energy. We just got enough going on as is, maybe pay more attention to some side characters. Anyway, it's war time and Obito is being his usual worst self and Kabuto brought Madara back to be his queen self. Sasuke can show up with the "cavalry" after having his moment with Itachi and listening to Hashirama recount Romeo & Juliet, sure. But this time he's actually clear and says to Naruto "I'm not letting these fucks do whatever, but make no mistake when this is over it's revolution time even if I have to burn this shit to the ground." And wouldn't you know it they fight Obito and Madara and no goddess and her male-voiced will show up at the end. What would instead happen is through the fighting we (plus Naruto and Sasuke) see the clash of Madara's (and Obito's I guess, still fuck him though) trauma, Hashirama's dedication to his idea of the village leading to willful blindness to its problems, and Tobirama's deep-seated prejudice mixed with a militant dedication to the concept of The Village (that the Uchiha's aren't totally apart of oops how did that happen). This leads sorta Sasuke but mostly Naruto to be like wait Hashirama's idea for the Village was fundamentally flawed, it did nothing to stop generations long grudges from continuing nor did it do anything about the inherent trauma involved in being a ninja. I could practically see it now, Madara defeated and about to die and he's monologuing about how they are just tools for the village and it's just going to create more pain like he told Hashirama that first time and Sasuke's making a good Sasuke face filled with pathos and shit and Naruto's like "You're right" and everyone's like 😮 and Naruto can have a monologue like "what happened to you was wrong, what happened to Sasuke was wrong, and some of those things are from people being shitty and some are just short-sightedness, but either way we can burn it all down or we can confront the past and try to make something that will make the future better" and all the dead people that were brought back disappear finally and we either kill or arrest Obito idk once again fuck him.

Then we can have some jabber from the villages about "you hear those two elders got arrested?" and "I heard the Uchiha massacre was actually on orders from high up." or something while we take a look at what the characters are doing. And our final scene can be another one outside the village with Naruto and Sasuke and Naruto's like "I'm not going to say you should stay, I won't even ask. This isn't your problem to fix, it's this Village's and well mine if I'm going to be hokage like I've been saying I am, but even if you never come here again I hope I can still call you my friend." And Sasuke is like "I think I'm going to travel for a bit, see the world, see what the other villages are doing, but when I'm done I might still stop by. Just to make sure you're keeping your promise." "You mean the Uchiha monument?" "That of course, and that you've actually become hokage like you keep yammering on about." And Naruto is surprised at first but he smiles and Sasuke smirks and he's not going to say out loud that Naruto is his friend (at least not now) but things are looking bright and holy god this was cheesy but I already wrote it and I've spent two days on this so fuck it. Post.

[bitchfitch]

For all the teething I've been doing on Pavo and Esti i haven't been able to like, actually write any thing for them recently mostly because I've been Busy.

But also because I'm snapping between like 3 ideas for them at terminal velocity and haven't been able to actually get anything written for them and it's like having pumas bouncing around my skull at mach fuck as though theyre house cats at 2 am when you're trying to sleep,