#and you Cannot Conceive Of A Universe Without Her In It

[pencildragons]

still insanely funny to me that ortus nigenad has canonically written 18 volumes of epic poetry about a bodyguard who was, in fact, Just Some Guy, and regularly quotes himself out loud in conversations on the regular. man had to die at the start of gtn because he was too fucking powerful to live

[babydarkstar]

honestly no wonder harrow forced ianthe to lobotomize her so she could save gideon. listen…LISTEN…if i was a secret-war-crime cult nunlet princess worshipped by my entire planet and the only person that (barely) kept me in check was my childhood nemesis—a butch a year older than me, towering over me in stature and physical prowess, and so hot it made my teeth hurt from how hard my jaw clenched in her presence, who wielded a two-handed seven-foot sword and had irritatingly huge biceps and told very lewd stupid jokes and also learned how to wield an entirely new weapon and be my bodyguard with startling accuracy in three months—only to have us finally learn to trust each other because we got invited to a magic murder mystery and then before the bubble burst i spilled the worst secret about myself that i was born because my parents murdered an entire generation and tried to Kill Her along with them and she just wouldnt die, and i told her this expecting a swift death i believed i deserved, only for her to fucking cradle me in her big butch arms and kiss me on my forehead with her soft butch mouth and just. forgive me for a shameful weight ive carried my entire life and then MAKE AN ACTUAL NECRO/CAV VOW with me despite every evil thing i have done to her……to have her tell me, in the end, bleeding and broken after putting up the most beautiful and glorious fight of her life, that she understands purpose and she understands duty and she knows loyalty more fiercely than ever now, that she knows who she is to me, that there is no her without me….to have her backed into a corner and make the ultimate sacrifice…..for me…..to recite scriptural wedding vows of eternity to me in her last wisps of soul-consciousness…..if i thought there was even a snowflake’s chance in the pyre that i could save her by turning myself into her very own locked tomb, i’d be begging ianthe tridentweirdius to crack my skull open and turn me to mush too, goddamn. i understand you harrowhark girl you don’t have to explain a thing to me. god said you couldn’t undo the lyctor’s bond bc it’d kill you. you told god and his angels that not even a lyctor’s bond could outshine the power of female spite and lesbianism and they didn’t listen. they didn’t believe you. but i heard you loud and clear and i was 17 and hormonal and hopelessly romantic not too long ago unlike those fucking dinosaurs and i’m saying it’s valid it’s what i would have done and really everyone should be thanking you for not being worse and more wretched about it, all things considered

[sapphic-storm69]

Just finished Gideon the ninth. What the fuck. Why did you guys just water this down to Lesbians. This was a whole ass murder mystery and y’all weren’t lying about the enemies bit. Like damn they hated each other for 89% of the book

[ichabodcranemills]

“I cannot conceive of a universe without you in it”

Oh. Oh, this is how it goes then

[drawerbread]

who let harrowhark “i cannot conceive of a universe without you in it” nonagesimus out of her enclosure?!🗣️

some details:

[moonlesslights]

Two Idiots in Love

Miguel O'Hara x Reader

Warnings: Sex, P in V, choking, breeding kink, innuendos, Miguel it's fucking hard to talk to.

A/N: Hope you enjoy this, I haven't sleep well for three days trying to get it done, but it's finally here. Love y'all xoxox

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Ok, but what about you becoming an Spider just about a year ago?

You are managing just fine.

Things got nasty for a while, that’s true. Your uncle died, your new responsibilities caught up on you, you almost die fighting some bad guys on your first months… And now you just try to eat three times a day (sometimes it doesn’t happen), pray to get more than six hours of sleep and do good in college.

But then, out of fucking nowhere, just when you were making peace with what your life was now and who you are, your identity, your place in this big ass world where you were completely alone to bear this double life… This giant prick with sullen face and cheeks the size of the moon comes into your life to tell you you’re not alone, everyone here has experienced the same or worse, stop being so dramatic.

So, in a second, your protagonist moment turns to you finding out there were thousands like you out there. And your whole life goes upside down.

Because now you don’t have to protect and look out only for your Earth, your city; but everyone else’s too. You have to travel to the most craziest worlds you could’ve ever imagine and fight horrible creatures you couldn’t even conceive its existence. And to make things even worst, Mr. Wide Hindquarters took an special hold of you to help him out with anything he would be ‘to busy’ to do. Like inform new recruits about their missions, filling out reports, doing research either respecting to what he occupied in the laboratory or to some universe yet to be explored… Whatever he needed, you would be called in to do it.

Some Spiders told you you were lucky, not many could work that close to Miguel, let alone being in charge of so many things without screwing something up and getting ‘their head ripped’. Even Lyla tells you that you’re something special, specially on the hard days, that’s why Miguel trusts you so much. After that you would just smile tiredly at her, whispering it was okay. Then Lyla would go face Miguel and demand him with a raised eyebrow to give you a break.

You manage for a few months, surrendering yourself to this strange routine. And your even more strange companion.

Every day you walk in to his space, every day he is already there. You turn a personal mission to arrive before he does. You never make it. The man apparently didn’t sleep and you aren’t waking the fuck up at 3:00am to prove a point or find out. So you let it be as another mystery to be solved.

“Good morning.” You wave your hand at him, making your presence known with that. Sometimes between a yawn, sometimes still cleaning the sleepiness off of your eyes.

“Good morning…” He always adds your last name to his greetings. It makes you feel like you are being scolded. Most of the time he is at the tables, working through the screens; if he’s not there, he’s at the lab, measuring substances with the help of crystal clear instruments.

Without looking at you, he points with his chin to the steaming coffee under the express machine. Through the weeks he has learned exactly how you like it. The first ones he made you were exactly like his: Awful. That couldn’t be drinkable. But you thought it was nice of him to always have hot coffee for you, so you didn’t say anything. But the faces you made at every sip were worth a thousand words.

Now, as you drink today’s, you cannot avoid thinking how cute that big stoic man must look every morning pouring the exact amount of sugar and cream you like into the cup. Moving the liquid with a tiny spoon until is all mixed.

He doesn’t talk much.

No more than orders and “Go home” followed by a “Good night”. You let him be for the first weeks. Not your business. But after the first month you knew you would go crazy if you continued this way of living.

You needed to talk to him. You needed to make things less awkward. He was your only human contact sometimes for entire days, and you cannot stand the fact of barely talking to him.

You don’t have idea how does the term “coworkers” serves on his Earth, but in yours, Human Relationships are encouraged to happen for the sake of teamwork.

With that very idea well tangled on your mind, one of those long days, you take a deep breath, imagine him naked (which isn’t difficult to be honest), stare deep into the space and say:

“Sohowhaveyoubeen?” Squeaking as fast as you can.

Miguel stops whatever the hell he is doing and turns his head to the right, side eyeing you with a raised eyebrow. You don’t even look at him, continuing to fill the document in front of you with the most unstable smile he could have seen in his entire life. Then, he turns around again, coming back to typing into one of the screens. You almost think he has completely ignored you until he answers in another fast and neutral line:

“I’m good.”

You give him an acknowledging nod, smiling softly and returning to your duties.

You had never wished so much to be victim of a lost bullet. Like right now. Like right fucking now. Please.

For one more week you took another personal mission: making a question a day.

“How was your day?”, “Did you have breakfast?”, “How was yesterday’s mission?”… It would be a good day if you got more than a monosyllable for answer. It was embarrassing, really. And Lyla looking at you with a grimace made it ten times worst.

After that, you just came in the eighth day and remained silent, focused in finishing all your work as soon as possible rather than trying to make your prick boss to talk to you. You felt bad, actually. Maybe he just doesn't like to talk, maybe you were making him uncomfortable, maybe... Maybe he's just an arse. Yeah, that is probably the right...

"Hm? Uh, what... What is this?" You look up from your tablet, facing the broad of his back walking to the desk at the other side of the room. You raise an eyebrow at the small cardboard box in front of you, the one that Miguel just left there.

"Food." He says as answering the very question to the origin of the universe.

"For me?" You tilt your head and he looks at you like you were stupid. You frown. How were you supposed to know that, when he barely even looks at you?!

"I did too much." He explains. "... So I brought you some. You can throw it away if you don't want it."

You look down at the box again, watching it as the weirdest of things, and cannot help the little smile that creeps up to your lips. You knew Miguel didn't eat at the HQ cafeteria, since he owns an apartment close from here, so this was completely homemade. Hm, you never thought he was into cooking.

"Why can't I give it to someone else if I don't like it?" You respond with an easy smile, almost teasing him.

"Throw it." He sentences without even looking back at you.

You side eye Lyla at your left, who winks at you. This is a whole ass victory. And you and the little hologram girl knew internally Miguel did not like the day you decided to stop trying to talk to him.

"Thank you." You finally murmur. "I really appreciate it."

"It's just leftovers..."

You nod, pursing your lips and… Still smiling. Fuck it. It was obvious he was going to dismiss it with something like that.

None of you says anything else for the rest of the day, but you make the choice to keep trying on the small talk every day and Miguel, apparently, started to mess up the amount of ingredients for his meals and brings leftovers almost daily.

You continue with this new routine for another couple of weeks.

With the time passing, you gain more and more confidence to talk to the big guy. Most of the times he doesn’t engage in the conversation, it is just you saying your thoughts out loud and telling him everything about your life at college, 'till the point he has a personal beef with some of your classmates. I mean, he doesn’t say it but he surely grunts under his breath every time you mention their name.

Gwen did asked you at some point if he really listened to you or if he just... Left you. You wondered the same for exactly... two hours.

"... And I handed him my essay, right? And he looks at me and says: 'So are you going to tell me who is helping you with these or am I going to find out myself?' So I obviously told him nobody was helping me, I just like doing them. And he freaking threatened me saying that if he founds out he's going to fail me. Like... He doesn't even listens. Agh, he hates me..."

"Is the same one who got angry because you were late to his lecture about himself and his recently published book?" That was a week ago. And he remembered.

You nod, sighing. Miguel clicks his tongue, shaking his head with disapproval.

He might not be talkative (at least for now) but he listens to you. You have no doubt left about that. He may not say a single word while you drop a hundred for minute, but he would come the next day asking "How was the test?" or would know you have classes with that professor and add to his daily good night a soft "Good luck tomorrow." You even start catching him lifting the left corner of his lips when you drop a bad joke about all the things you need to get done by the end of the day or about something you heard on your way there.

You noticed it when certain Spider came in to a meeting, a Spider two days ago you and Miguel had gossiped about because you were told something by your friends on Wednesday, Miguel heard some more on Thursday and with a final comment you put the pieces together on Friday, looking at him with a wide proud open mouth as he shook his head with a soft chuckle. Talking to the Spider in question Miguel would turn to you with the most neutral and blank expression and you would still fight to hide your smile at the memory of everything you found out during the week. No one ever noticed and you liked it. Miguel liked it. It was like a private joke only the two of you could share.

"But what would happen?" This was the part Miguel didn't like. "Like, how would you know I would fuck up something?"

"You cannot give Noir a kaleidoscope." He sentences, giving you another raised eyebrow.

You were in the middle of the daily session of Instructive and Informative questions, according to Lyla and you. Miguel prefers to call them Destructive and Irritating.

After today's mission you had taken a particular soft spot fo the black and white Spider, to the misfortune of your boss. So the whole session has been about the long shot of taking special gifts from your dimension to him.

"But why? Really, what's the worst that could happen if I just give him a tiny little kaleidoscope?"

"Ay, Dios, dame paciencia... You already gave him a rainbow slinky spring toy, why do you keep insisting on gifting him more stuff?"

He fix his gaze on you as you lower your eyes down to your lap, fidgeting with your fingers. "... He just looks happy when he sees color."

Miguel sighs, pressing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger.

"I know, but every one of us needs to respect the natural order of our Earth. He shouldn't keep taking things with him that shouldn't be there, do you understand?"

"But..."

"No more 'but's'. I want those reports done by the end of the day." Miguel returns his eyes back to the screen in front of him, dismissing you just with that action. "Get to work instead of keep losing our time with this."

He hates the way you comply to his orders. Hates the way you leave the space beside him empty to go working at the other side of the room, where he can only see your back. He hates when you refuse him to see your face.

The human part in him hates the questioning sessions because they always end up with your heart too big for your own good, crushed a little bit more. The human part in him is what brings him closer to you after a few minutes, talking you through some trivial topics until he can convince you it is all not as bad a it seems, until you smile again when you insist it's okay, that you just needed a minute, that you understand. And he might o might not tell you can give Noir that fucking kaleidoscope if you want it so much.

But some deep and primal part in him whispers into his veins to walk up to you, take you by your jaw, forcing you to look up at him and order you you better not refuse your face to him one more single time again. That if he wishes to see your eyes, the curve of your nose or your lips, you better fucking show them to him... Every day. Every. Time. He. Wants. To.

He gets frustrated when he catches himself in the middle of those thoughts, of the drives. He has been able to control it magnificently 'till now. But he fears the day he won't.

For another while you enjoyed the 'leftovers' brought to you too. But it also came to happen the one day, they stopped being leftovers:

You yawn as you make your way to the exit of the lab, making sure your alarm for tomorrow is correctly scheduled, you can not afford another harsh look from your professors one more time. The building has fallen silent already; most of its ordinary inhabitants have already retired to their rooms or to their home worlds.

Miguel walks up to you from behind, watching you standing at the door. Neither of them managed to see even a ray of sun today. He didn't care, he had something much better to watch all day… But he can't help but sigh at the thought of taking it from you.

"Italian or Mexican?" You turn to look at him, barely catching what he said. Both of your brows furrow and he glares at you while adjusting the neck of his jacket on. "For tomorrow's lunch. You want me to bring Italian or Mexican?"

"Oh, uhm..." You widen your eyes, surprised by the consideration. Pursing your lips and squinting, you think about it for a second, but the only possible answer comes immediately after: "Mexican."

"Hm." He nods, fixing his eyes to the front again.

Both start walking now towards the exit of the building. You know you can open your portal to go back home now, but you refuse to do so. Miguel knows there's an exit on the other side of the lab that leads him to a closer path to his apartment, but he refuses to take it. Because you always take this one.

"It's getting chilly." You whisper, watching the first snowflakes of the season falling on the other side of the big windows in the lobby. Miguel hums in response. "I like it, though. The first month working with you I had to carry a fan with me everywhere. I am so sorry for the cost of the electricity bill back then."

Miguel tugs at one corner of his lips, but only that. You tilt your head, glaring at him for a second before you take two fast steps to put yourself in front of him. The poor man has to stick his feet to the floor to avoid knocking over you.

He frowns, confused, and you look up at him with those same eyes filled with determination you put on when you look at the cookies he always -purposely- leaves on top of the highest cupboard in his office. He could only describe it as the face of a master plan, because you would always come back with ideas to get them down without asking him for help. And he loved to play guess with what you would do this time.

"Smile for me." You ask as you were some kind of cameraman, and if he was confused before he's into a new level now.

"What?"

"Y'know..." You bring both of your index fingers to the opposite sides of your face and part your own lips into a simple smile, like showing him what he was supposed to do.

"I know what smiling is." He frowns. "Why do you want me to do it?"

You shrug. "I just... I would be really happy to see it."

Miguel's expression remains unfazed, but he prays to every God out there you can't listen how hard his heart jumped inside his chest when your words reached him.

He swallows. His eyes fix on you and he brings both of the corners of his mouth up, exposing bright teeth and two big fangs that brush on his lower lip in the most precious awkward smile you could have ever seen. His brows are drawn together and he looks like he's in pain, and you know that even if a fucking meteor crashed down in the city right now, you still wouldn't be able to look away.

You clear your throat and lament how his smile is gone as soon as it came. You brush your hand at the back at your neck, nervous, fucking ashamed of your imprudence. Miguel raises an eyebrow at your reaction.

"Thank you. That was nice of you." You smile, avoiding his eyes and solely focusing on the snow awaiting for you. "I'm sorry if it was unpleasant for you. I didn't mean..."

Your words get caught up in your throat when you suddenly feel the texture of fabric coming around your neck. You turn back to look at the front again only to find Miguel tugging his scarf on you, with his fingers making sure it hugged every part of your skin your sweater couldn't.

"Miguel, no. It's even colder here than on my Earth. You need this more than I do." You frown with a worried expression washing over your features.

"You'll come back tomorrow pretty early. And it's going to be cold." You could try and argue about you having your own scarfs to bring tomorrow with you, but his eyes tell you he is not asking.

"... Thank you."

Miguel laments the moment your turn around, laments the moment you don't look at him anymore. He is sure the smile from a minute ago hadn't been anywhere near one of his best, and yet your eyes shone with the light of all the moons he's seen in all of the Earths he has visited.

And as you do a little wave when you start walking away before entering your portal, Miguel waves back, slowly and with only two unsure swings of his wrist. It was enough to make you smile anyway. It was enough to keep him standing there even after you were long gone wondering what the hell he was doing.

When Miguel began to bring food made specially to share, you began to bring desserts from your Earth for him to try.

You both started having lunch together after you told him how tired you were of eating while standing. Don't get me wrong, when you first told him he 'offered' you to go eat at the cafeteria if you wanted it so much. But when he dismisses you for the second time the next day with a 15 minute break to go find somewhere to sit, you, instead, sit down reluctantly at the very center of his work space, just a few meters behind him.

Miguel has to do a fucking double take to make sure he is seeing right before turning around at you calmly crossing your legs on the floor and unboxing today's meal with abrupt and resigned movements.

"Could you be so kind as to explain to me what you are doing?" He tilts his head with amusement when you take the first bite of your food.

"Eating."

"Sitting on the floor?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Sitting on the floor." You nod.

"Care to explain why?" He crosses his arms, pursing his lips when you refuse to raise your eyes at him.

"... Because of you." You murmur, taking another unnecessarily aggressive bite.

"Elaborate, please."

You keep on looking down, chewing the morsel in your mouth. Miguel awaits for you with well known experienced patience. By now, he recognizes when you are mad at him or the world, he sees how you fight to keep calm inside of all of this mess, that's why he always tries to encourage you to talk out the things that bother you, because he's there, he can listen; because he likes the way you smile after you let it all out.

And maybe...

"I don't care about eat sitting comfortably at the cafeteria. I want to eat with you. So if you want to stay here be my fucking guest. I'm staying here too."

Because you were the only one who could throw a tantrum at Miguel O'Hara without flinching.

You have earned that right. You didn't know when, because you insist you don't throw tantrums at him; you're a college student, basically an adult, you don't do tantrums. And still...

"Fine, spoiled girl..." He sighs, walking to get his own little box from the table and then coming to close the space between the two with a few long steps. He sits down right beside you, imitating the way you're crossing your legs. "If you want to eat on the floor, we can eat on the floor."

"I'm not spoiled." You hiss, giving him a deadly side eye that puts on a soft, almost unnoticeable grin on his face. Lyla had made fun of him a few days ago about him spoiling you, but instead of getting on his nerves he took a liking for the nickname. And now you suffer the consequences of it all. "And we wouldn't be eating on the floor if you decided to go to the cafeteria for once."

"... I hate talking to people."

You sigh, nodding. That's exactly why you never push him to do anything of that sort.

"I know." You turn to look at him out of the corner of your eye, noticing how he keeps his head low while eating. "Hey" You call for his attention, smiling. He blinks up to you, tilting his head. "It's okay." Your shoulder drops to his arm. "I like being here. I'm not stuck with you, you're stuck with me."

That makes his eyes catch a little bit more of light.

"Thank you." He whispers.

You stare at him for a second more and he fights to put all of the mess inside his head, his feelings, into his tongue... But he can't. You continue eating, and he knows you would never hold a grudge on him for it, and he's so thankful for that, for you being able to understand the way his actions speak when his words can't. But he still aches at the thought of never being able to tell you everything he wants.

The next morning you walk in to find out a new cleared space beside the screens with an elegant glass table and two chairs. It surely looked expensive, like everything he does and has, but for you, it's just the little corner where you can leave that particular cake from your Earth he seems to like so much, and then go to the laboratory to see the cake you seemed to like so much.

After two more weeks enjoying the day-to-day in the usual things in your life, you and Miguel got to a mission which revealed as the true calmness before the storm.

The anomaly you had fought was stronger than expected, more aggressive, more letal. Everyone had run lucky at least two times to escape from its claws, but you can still remember their closeness, the screams, the sirens at the distance. It all almost ends up with another canonic event altered.

"There's always a first time." Jessica had told you when you finally finished off the anomaly. She was worried about you, and you can't blame her. You haven't even registered how bad you were trembling until it was all over.

"Is there going to be a last time?" You replied, looking up at her with big eyes. And Miguel, only a few meters behind you, still trying to give some last orders to every Spider there, felt his heart breaking at the very sound of your words.

Nevertheless, thankfully, the universe remained perfectly fine and just a couple of hours later everyone was back home safely again. Most returned immediately to their Home Earths, but you, Miguel, Jessica, Lyla and a couple more had ten thousand things to do in the HQ before calling it a day.

"I thought I told you to go home an hour ago." Miguel points, coming from behind you.

You turn your head to look up at him and you can't not smile at the sight. The feeling of safeness that floods you when you see his huge figure entering any room hasn't wavered for a single second. He's still that solid ground you can always rest on when the world is to heavy to carry alone.

"I'm serious. What are you doing here?" He continues, grunting in pain when he drops his weight beside you. You turn to him, furrowing your brows in worry again. He had seen that expression in you so often today... And he hates it so much. "I'm okay. Just little scratches here and there."

You withdrawn your feet from the edge of the building where you had them hanging for an hour now and crawl your way to him, sitting down on your knees to try to be eye height with him.

Your right hand wanders to his bruised neck, there where the anomaly had left his horrible mark of the violence it brought within. You follow with your index the way the clotted blood draws on his skin, sending shivers down his spine.

"Does it hurt?" You ask.

"No." He responds in between goosebumps.

He loves the effect your touch has on him. He loves your little hands looking for him, tugging at his clothes to call for his attention, brushing against his when you pass him the tablet, documents, anything. He loves the busy days where he doesn't have time to eat, where he wouldn't eat if it wasn't for you sitting beside him as he works on the screens, you scrolling through your cellphone, taking little pieces of food with a spoon or a fork to bring them closer to his mouth so he could eat without even taking his eyes off the screen.

Ridiculous? Yeah. But he loved the intimacy within. The many forms your soft hands could soothe him.

But his? He hated them. He was scared of them. Their only use was to destruct, to tear flesh apart, not to...

"Show me." He asks, pointing with his chin at your left hand placed softly above your thigh.

"It's nothing."

"Let me see it." He insist and you carefully bring your arm up, placing your fingers against his when he holds out his hand for you. Your whole palm is bandaged, the work the doctor did on you was amazing, but he can still see dried blood on it.

He doesn't say anything when he finds your eyes on him, conflicted, hesitant. There is so much between both of you, so much unsaid, so much still to do. But he sees your doubt, he hates to be the cause of it. He stays still, but he wants to scream at you, to make your little head understand: "How can't you see?! Can't you see how much you mean to me?! You're the only thing in my mind when I'm fighting, because I know I have to win, I have to get out alive to see you again. Eres lo único por lo que mi corazón llama!... Can't you not hear it?"

Instead, the tips of his fingers brush on your skin, his eyes reflecting every single light of the city below.

"Come." It's only a whisper that leaves his mouth, and you need nothing more to jump into his embrace with a desperate sigh, immediately cuddling yourself up on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck, looking for his warm.

Hold.

He loves to hold you.

His hands serve to hold you.

To hold you against him, to protect you from anyone who wants to rip you away from his arms. To keep you warm, to keep you safe, to let you know you're home.

"Aquí estoy." He whispers.

"I know." You reply.

You breath into his scent for a couple of minutes more, until the screams and the sirens fell low to the sound of Miguel's chest going up and down in a soothing swing, his breathing, turning into the only thing you could listen to.

By the time you got your head out of his neck, he was already waiting for you with a soft smile, smile that puts your attention on the deep cut on his lower lip.

"What happened?" You ask, carefully pulling from his flesh to see the whole extension of the wound.

He sighs, closing his eyes with embarrassment. "I bit myself during the fight."

You smile, shaking your head. Your fingernail taps against the right fang in question, testing the edge by gently pressing the tip into your fingertip.

"I hate them." Miguel breaths out. His eyes are now so dim that you struggle to say where are they looking at in the middle of the night darkness.

"Why?" You whisper, taking your finger back at his lip.

"Because I fear of them. I fear they'll hurt you like they hurt me."

You purse your lips and then take his hand placed on your hip, looking back at him with raised eyebrows.

"Is the same with these?"

He nods.

"They are made to kill. I have done so many horrible things with, caused so much damage and pain, I..."

"Did you know I'm scared of heights?" His trail of words stop at your interruption. You smile, looking down from the edge, turning away form him just a little. "Ironic, for a Spider. But I still fight with it every single day. I always get so sticky when I'm on top of a building for too long it's embarrassing but..." You raise your hand in front of him, waving your fingers with a playful smile. "I'm not sticky now. And that it's because you're holding me." You cup his face. "Those things you're afraid of, are part of the person I love. And I wouldn't change a single thing."

"Mi cielo..."

"I knew what I was getting into when I decided to love you, Miguel, so don't get all soft now. I'm not going anywhere..." You whisper. "Make me bleed."

He would be lying if he said he haven't thought about it, that he haven't succumbed to his most animalistic urges when alone in the privacy of his room, pretending it was you around his cock and not his fist. He wanted to bite, he wanted to fill you. And he wanted to tear apart with his bare talons anyone and anything that got in his way.

A part of him might be scared to hurt you, yes.

But a bigger part of him was actually scared of what he would do to keep you safe. Of what he's capable of... to keep you his.

He feels sorry for you when you cuddle against his chest in your sleep as he stands up and starts walking back inside the building, covering you with his jacket to protect from the cold wind of the city for when he swings back to his apartment with you in his arms.

He feels sorry for the innocence in your love.

Like a beast, that's what he was. A beast who loved the softness in your touch, the kind in your words. But cannot return the same love. The beast is possessive, jealous of the very air that caresses your hair. And it may act vulnerable only to you, letting you get as close to slaughter him, but knowing you'll place a kiss instead. The beast would hold you as his own treasure, a creature that must not be hurt, not even for his own hands. He would cut them off before.

He would cut them off from anyone before they touch you. For no one should ever touch what he decided, that very morning you asked how he had been, would belong to him.

AND EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE CONTINUED ON GOING SO SMOOTHLY... BUT THE DAAAAAAAAMN FINALS, ah, made their entrance.

You barely have time to sleep, to eat, to fucking breathe. Your levels of anxiety are higher than the HQ damn building and your brain is so overworked you cannot do more than what you're asked to in autopilot. You know that you're only going to be like this for approximately another two weeks, but your poor lover has suffered the last four days thinking you're sick, or sad, or worse... Mad at him. No, not in that order.

"Arañita..." He calls for you. Your hand moving over your notebook at one hundred km per hour concerns him.

"The reports are done. Peter from -5266 and Hugh from -1993 are out right now. They should be getting back at any minute. Anomaly #125 was sent to its original universe this morning." You push the tablet to him with your free hand without even looking up or slowing down your writing.

"Thank you, but..." He tilts his head, furrowing his brows. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. I just need to get this done before four. By the way, can I leave early today? I need to study for tomorrow's test."

"Again? Didn't you have one yesterday?"

"Yes. We're on finals, Miguel. We tend to have a lot of them these days. That's why I'm losing my mind over here."

"Just for some tests?" You have to stop yourself to remind you it's not his fault to be smart. It's not his fault being more intelligent than almost every person you knew. It's not his fault he doesn't know what is to struggle on school. It's not his fault, It's not his fault, It's not his fault... "You haven't even touched your food." He says, looking at the little box he got you with the meal now cold.

"I... I know. I'm sorry, Mig." You sigh, looking up at him for the first time in the day. "I'm just really stressed out right now. But I promise I'll take it back home later, okay?"

This was also the fourth day you didn't stay at his place. My man doesn't want to be a burden, but he has attachment issues, ok?, and after the week you spent sleeping in his arms, it may or may not be that Miguel has been having trouble falling asleep without the weight of your body on his chest.

After watching you leave that day, Miguel found himself staying till unreasonable hours of the early morning working in the lab. There was no point on going back to his cold apartment anyway... And he had a lot of things to get done. He didn't have time to...

"Oh, it's you." Miguel jumps in his place at the sudden voice calling from behind. "I thought that poor girl had stayed here, with all the things she seems to be doing these days."

The man shakes his head, ignoring Jessica closing the distance behind him, leaning against the door frame. Miguel can almost make out the little smile on her lips without turning around, and that only infuriates him even more.

"And why do you look like a caged lion?" She mocks. "Trouble in paradise?"

Miguel's first instinct is snap back at her and ask her to leave him alone. He knows she would comply, what he doesn't know is how benefic that would be for his current situation.

"I don't know what's going out with her." He admits, letting his head fall in irritation. "She says she's having some tests right now, but she's just to... Stressed? I don't know. She's so smart I cannot conceive how bad this is affecting her." The laugh that emanates from Jessica's throat makes his ears go red. "What?"

"Oh, babe, when was the last time you went to college?" Jessica puts both of her hands on her waist, pursing the lips to avoid smiling again.

"Why is that important?"

"When, Miguel?" She demands.

"Ugh... I don't know. Like four-five years ago."

"When was the last time you failed a class?"

"Never." He immediately responds.

"When was the last time grades were important on your Earth?"

Miguel frowns. "I don't remember. The path for learning had changed long before I was born. I don't even think I ever had something like a grade. We were judged individually for our skills and our intelligence type. Not memorization."

"Exactly." She claps, pointing at him with a all-knowing finger. "Thanks to that you got the chance to develop your true abilities as a student, but our girl from 2023 it is not beneficiary of this privilege. She doesn't get the chance to strengthen in what she is good, she must memorize and memorize and memorize over and over again. Because the tests on her Earth aren't done with the purpose of just checking how is her knowledge progressing, they are done to see if she's worthy of continuing forward in her very career."

Miguel remains silent for a minute, swallowing all the new information by pieces. For someone so smart, Jessica has never see him seem so lost. The nuts in his brain begin to turn and turn until his eyes seem to light up with the clarity of the light of the new world.

"Hm." He nods. "Thank you."

The woman knows he doesn't need anything more when he turns around, typing into one of the screens something that escapes from her eyes.

During the rest of the two weeks of finals, Miguel tried to do his best to support you.

He even read all of the information about your education system, striving to understand everything in just a couple of nights.

He's a man on a mission: letting you know he's there, that you're strong and smart, and you can do it.

While you study in the lab, he leaves you be. He gets you coffee, or tea, or anything you prefer. He might even hiss at people entering his space (your space) making too much noise, pointing at you with his chin and threatening eyes.

"Hey, girl..." Peter B. comes in one morning, moving nervously under the scrutinizing gaze of your lover. "Don't be so harsh on yourself..." He gives you some awkward pats on the back, smiling. "You're doing great."

That was all it took.

"No, I'm not!" You weep, letting your head fall on the desk, shaking between sobs.

"Great. Ya la hiciste llorar." Miguel pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing. "Here, give it to her." He calls for Peter's attention, handing him an specific chocolate.

Peter takes it with confused eyes, offering it to you, reaching out his arm as if he were to touch you, you'll explode.

"Here." He says. "Look what I got."

You raise your eyes, meeting the little packing. Then, when you look at him, Peter almost thinks he just made all worst.

"Oh, Peter... Thank you!" You take the chocolate, pulling from him to a big hug. "I love these so much, thank you! You're so kind!"

Peter lets you be, looking back at Miguel who just nods at him to let him know this wasn't his first rodeo. He pats your back, soothing you with some more nervous words until you're ready to let him go.

If you're really struggling, Miguel won't think twice to help you. He's smart, it takes him nothing more than a look to his old notes or a quick search on the internet (specially if you're studying something science related or an engineering, if you're on law or arts, oh boy, you're gonna make this man suffer) to know exactly what you need and make sure you're taking that fucking project tomorrow.

Some other days, he just catches you sleeping with your hands crossed above the table and your saliva drooling out to your notes. His jacket would then come over you, after, he would take your pending stuff and start solving problems and making notes for you to have it easier at the memorizing part of the study.

You always wake up to see the edges of your paper full of arrows, little equations and encircled key words. And, sometimes, a tired Miguel sleeping uncomfortably by your side, just waiting for you to tell him it's time to go.

The day, a Friday, where you're finally done with college (at least for a couple of months) Miguel felt it like the day his soul came back to his body.

You are smiling all day again, calling his name, doing a mess all over the whole building. And he can not be more happy about it.

He might never tell you, me might even justify himself saying he had been staying up late working in the lab every time you ask for the bags under his eyes. Because he's definitely not telling you there were nights where he couldn't even close his eyes 'cause you weren't there with him.

"Time to go home." You hum behind him, getting all of your stuff inside your backpack.

"Thank God" He rubs his neck, walking closer to you to give you a soft kiss on the forehead. "I'm dying."

You yawn, nodding. "Me too. These weeks drained me."

"Me too." He repeats, and you don't know how much he means it. "Let's just go to sleep, yeah? Hopefully tomorrow there won't be so much to do."

You smile, leaning into his embrace as you walk out the door, hearing the lights turning off as both come closer and closer to the exit.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Okay."

"Okay."

Miguel steadies your body by pressing down on your hips, keeping your ass on the bed. You try to push his face out of between your thighs but he refuses to pull apart.

"Miguel!" You cry out, tears rolling down your cheeks cause of the overstimulation he was putting you in. "Too much, too much..."

His fingers curl inside you one more time, and your arch your back, almost rolling your eyes at the feeling. His tongue flicks over your sensitive bud again, dragging choked moans out of you. You try to squirm away but his hands pull you from your ass back at him as soon as you start moving.

"Easy there, Arañita. I'm almost done." He smiles up at you, letting you see the lower half of his face completely covered in your arousal.

"Mig... Mi amor..." You breath out, trying to push him out again when his chuckle crashes against your folds.

"One more, love, and you'll be ready for me." He sucks on your clit as he speaks, moving his fingers with an slower pace now. "Uno más, mamita, dame uno más."

He pushes his face down on you, working his tongue all around your most needy spot with his digits burying now deep inside you, hitting that soft place between your walls that makes you want to cry. You're a mess of moans and whimpers by now, but when his teeth slowly press on your clit, it's over for you. Your eyes roll back, your thighs tremble around him, encaging him in his favorite prison as he guides you through it, moaning into your skin when he feels your pleasure dripping on him, motivating his hips to hump against the mattress as a fucking teenager would do.

After you get down from your high, you look up at him to find him positioning himself between your legs, dragging the tip of his cock up and down on your folds.

"Miguel, wait, I'm..."

"You know your safe word, mamita, you can make me stop whenever you want." He places your legs on his shoulders and his hands on your hips, keeping you just as he wishes to. "I'm going in, and I want your eyes on me all the time I fuck you, ¿me entiendes, hermosa?"

You nod, watching the point where both of your bodies would join. He enters slowly, giving you time to adjust his size. But after the first hint of your hips trying to feel him even more, he pulls back and thrusts all the way in, making your head fall back as your back arches.

His right hand grabs you by the jaw, forcing you to open your eyes and observe how red his irises had turned.

"Eyes on me."

His pace speeds up, bottoming out with every thrust he makes. Your hands push at his lower abdomen, biting your lip to avoid crying out loud again.

"Too fast, Mig. Too much." You moan, your still overstimulated clit rips another whimper from you every time his happy trail and trimmed hair crashes against it. You were barely holding on, but your lover can't never get enough. His body reaches down, and as he places one hand around your neck, his other thumb toys at your clit in a excruciating pace. "Fuck! No, Miguel."

You tremble under him, wrapping your legs around his waist when you cannot think about anything more than cumming. Your nails bury on the skin of his back, dragging an out of breath grunt out of him.

"I'm, I'm cum-" You try to voice but nothing in your brain seems to work anymore.

"Do it, love. I got you." He keeps up his pace, almost kissing your cervix by now. "Cum for me, mi amor."

His hand squeezes a little bit harder on your neck and you need nothing else to see fucking white. Your mouth opens in a big O before your start trembling, shaking uncontrollably under his body, letting out the sweetest of sounds for him to hear.

He grunts, falling into the crock of your neck when you tighten your walls around him.

"I'm going to fucking fill you." He's out of breath and he curses something in Spanish you cannot make out. "I'm going to put a baby on your tummy, mamita..."

"Miguel..." You were on the verge of tears again, you cannot longer feel your legs but you surely can feel him deep inside you.

"Yes, love. Fuck... I'm cumming. I'm..." He bites down on your flesh, sinking his fangs into your skin when his hips stutter. His talons grow so big they dig into the headboard.

You moan at the feeling, hugging your body to his until he can breath normal again.

When he looks back at you his eyes have returned to that soft brown you're used too.

"Are you okay?" He asks, sending shivers down your spine when he caresses the sore skin.

"Yes." You smile and he traps your lips into a kiss. "And now I'm really fucking tired."

He chuckles, lifting his weight onto his forearms.

"Come here, amor. Let's take a shower so you can rest comfortably." He places another soft peck on your forehead. "I'll wash your hair."

You definitely know he will do more than that.

PD: Tbh with you guys, all I could think about while writing this was this tiktok:

[danggerine]

going insane thinking about the harrow and palamedes friendship. harrow, who has never met another necromancer her age forming a bizarro 3D chess rivalry while pal worries about her safety at every possible turn. harrow, who is up to her eyebrows in paranoia and secrecy, trusting the sixth house with gideon unconscious and hurt, letting them into the ninth house quarters unsupervised. if “i cannot conceive of a universe without you in it” is goth for i love you, “death first to vultures and scavengers” has got to be goth for i love you (platonic). pal’s first reaction when harrow comes into his bubble in the river is to scoop her up in a hug, and at this point she doesn’t remember anything about him because cutting out all her memories of gideon is impossible without cutting out memories of the sixth, but she still makes him a skelehand to inhabit anyway. when harrow’s memories are finally whole, she tells dulcinea she couldn’t face pal knowing that his pen pal girlfriend died on her account, but the next time she “faces” him, palamades’s soul is in someone else’s body and harrow’s body is full of nona’s soul. he spends six months protecting and caring for harrow’s body (and nona obv), believing in the possibility of bringing her back to it the same way cam believed in him. “god, do you know i miss harrow terribly.” and by the time harrow comes back to her body at the very end of ntn, pal is gone forever, fully pauled. the last time harrow and palamades see each other as their complete selves is in canaan house, alive and unlyctored. two of the smartest and loneliest people in the solar system meet each other in the worst of circumstances and spend the rest of the story dancing around each other as fragments of themselves, trying to care about each other in the interim but never fully meeting like they did the first time. a friendship made almost entirely of missing the other person. “do you know i miss harrow terribly.” god. i need to lie down

[novantinuum]

Steven's Breakdown Was Inevitable From the Very Beginning

I feel like the thing that fucks me up the most about Steven Q. Universe and how well conceived he is as a character is that the fundamental building blocks of why he reached his breaking point in SU: Future were laid out as clear as day in the span of legit only the first four episodes of the original show. The writing was literally always on the wall that future him would struggle with matters of self worth and identity in relationship to the others around him.

Let's take a look:

Gem Glow

"Awesome! What are these things?"

Foundational Trauma #1: Steven's home is always either under threat or actively being wrecked by antagonistic forces/beings, and he constantly copes with this by pushing down his fear in favor of a curiosity and silver linings based mindset.

Look at his initial shock when he opens the door and gets tackled by one of these things, and then his response when one of them spits acid:

The kid's freaked the hell out about all this, and while I do think there's a part of Steven that genuinely IS curious about what these lil critters are, I think he's subconsciously using that curiosity as a way to distract himself from his own fears and anxieties. This is Steven actively learning how to ignore the deeper problems in favor of emoting a facade to the others in his life that he can totally handle himself in scary situations like these.

The underlying reason why is incredibly apparent, when you look at the example from the next episode-

Laser Light Canon

"I don't know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me..."

Genuinely- from the bottom of my heart- I think the above quote from Greg is a moment where his own insecurities around the Gems actually rubbed off on Steven.

At this point in time, Steven may be living with the Gems... but he hasn't started to harness any of his powers at all, so in his own head he might as well be the same as his dad- another human, just one who happens to have a gem! But the way Greg talks about himself... given Steven was living with him in the van for years before moving in to the beach house, he had to have heard negative self-talk from his dad like this before.

And then there's the rest of the Crystal Gems... always speaking of Rose with such reverence as if she were an all-powerful goddess... and Steven can't help but look back at himself, and his gem that won't work... the gem that the others still identify as Rose's...

"Your gem-! You have Rose's gem!"

And maybe he starts to wonder if- without any working powers- he's just a plain ol' dope like his Dad, too.

"Please work... Unlock! Activate! Go! Please-!! Everyone's counting on you, you can't just be useless!"

Foundational Trauma #2: Steven has Rose's gem, and as such, is constantly living under the silent expectation to live up to a standard that he simply cannot ever hope to achieve, because he doesn't KNOW her and he never will.

I want to highlight one of Steven's expressions while his dad is talking about Rose- look at that sad look. My god, I just wanna hug him. This is the expression of a child who has already come to terms with the fact that his only relationship with his mom is through the rose tinted stories that other people tell him about her.

Cheeseburger Backpack

So. Steven has learned so far that he needs to push down his feelings and emote a false veneer of cheer and bravery even when he's afraid, because the rest of the people in his life have expectations and hopes for him due to the legacy of his parentage and he can't bear the thought of letting them down. (And in a sad way, at this point "letting them down" literally just means... being an ordinary human boy. I believe Steven at this stage of the show is flat out scared to be human, because to be human is to fail at being a Gem, and no amount of love and sacrifice in the name of humanity in the seasons to come could've ever saved him from the fundamental fact that the wedge between him and this whole half of his being was already drawn long before the events of season 1 even started. But I digress.)

Let's see where we go from there. Let's check out Steven's first "mission." Or as Pearl puts it about 35 episodes later, his first "test."

"Yeah... they can't all be winners."

This episode is tinted with a little bit of tragedy for me on rewatch, because I genuinely do think the Gems handled the situation as well as they could've. They were supportive of Steven's successful ploys, and (for the most part) responded with grace when he majorly blundered and left the Goddess Statue at home. The main problem, however, is that Steven has already developed a bit of a complex about impressing the three of them-

Foundational Trauma #3: Even when they claim otherwise, Steven has convinced himself that affection from the Gems is transactional, and that when he messes up he's not truly a part of the Crystal Gems.

Of course we the audience know this isn't true- I mean, hell, Amethyst even said as much in episode one after her slip-up ("and you're fun to have around, even if your gem IS useless!")... that the Crystal Gems wouldn't be the same without him. But Steven... the poor kid is a complicated little guy living a complicated life, and whether they intended it or not, the language used they've used around him thus far has not backed up their attempts at fully embracing him, human parentage and all.

Thus, Steven just spends the entire episode wracked with anxiety trying to find creative non-power using ways to make the mission easier so he can convince them he's useful to have around.

Look how nervous he gets even when all three of them are visibly and vocally supportive of his presence here:

This is the face of a boy who feels like he's under constant judgement and scrutiny from those around him.

Blessedly, viewing this episode in isolation, he experiences a brief moment of mental respite where he finally accepts the Gems' encouragement and agrees that his ideas 'can't all be winners,' but this lesson does not stick for him moving forward. A shame, really.

Together Breakfast

"What's the matter, Steven?" "I wanted us all to have breakfast together, so I made Together Breakfast! But everyone keeps leaving..." "Oh, that's nice..."

Taken in context with what we've learned already in the last three episodes, Steven's desperation to spend quality time with the Gems here and his sadness that they keep leaving him alone doesn't just exist within a vacuum. He spends the whole morning watching them shuffle in and out of the temple, or come back from missions he wasn't invited on, and with the disastrous result of the LAST mission he went on probably fresh in his mind it's not hard to understand why this bothers him.

Foundational Trauma #4: Steven internalizes that the price of "not being useful" is that the Gems actively ignore him, meaning that the only way to guarantee their attention is to work as hard as he can to become a stronger member of the team.

I know this screenshot is usually used as a lighthearted meme, but I wanted to include it because I think it's a good example of how Steven's intense desire to impress permeates every facet of his personality at times. Just LOOK at how desperate he is to make Garnet laugh at his joke, to be the one that's at very least "fun to have around," as Amethyst put it in episode one.

The Gems do eventually drop what they're doing to spend time with Steven by the conclusion of this episode, but this only comes after Steven shows his growing strength and "proves" himself by saving their butts from the breakfast monster.

If he successfully gained their attention in literally any other way he might've come away from this episode with a different lesson, but no. Instead, his fears were proven true- the Gems value strength and utility, and if he's not exhibiting that, then what use is he to them?

These fears of his can be seen weaving throughout the foundational fabric of the entire show, but I think Steven lays out what he sees as his "stakes" in the clearest way possible in the episode 'An Indirect Kiss.'

"But- if I don't have powers, then I can't hang out with Amethyst, or Garnet, o-or Pearl, and- I-I can't go on missions!"

And these same insecurities even rear their ugly head as late as the movie.

"I can't believe this... for the first time in years, everyone's in danger, everybody needs me, and- I'm useless!"

Powers = Utility = Worth = Other's love, for Steven. Everything is transactional to the end, which is a hilarious double standard he's set for himself when he's made his reputation as the kid who always listens and encourages and gives others a chance to change, no matter their messy history with him.

__

So let's recap and restate those foundational traumas from Steven's perspective.

One: The only way to cope when your life is constantly under threat is to bury the damage and pretend to be fine.

Two: Everyone expects you to live up to the standards of someone you're not.

Three: The Gems only love you when you're of use to them.

Four: If you ever stop being useful, the Gems won't want anything more to do with you.

In sum, Steven's habit of burying his feelings for the benefit of others was there from the very beginning, not just since 'The Test.'

Those unreachable standards he felt so daunted and intimidated by all his life were the ones set by Rose, at first... but over the course of the series, the dynamic of this shifted. As Rose's influence fell into the background, Steven's rose into the front. And so it's with great irony that- by the time of Steven Universe: Future, the expectations this exhausted, worn down teenager is fighting to once again achieve are the ones HE set for himself. Many of young Steven's selfless actions during the war are quite admirable when analyzed in isolation, but almost none of them are sustainable. He set himself on fire just to save the world, but teen Steven is genuinely unable to see this for what it is yet- as a tragic sacrifice of his own childhood. You can't burn your own ends for others forever, not at all. His breakdown was simply inevitable.

When it comes to the interconnected beliefs three and four, these are exactly why the ultimate confrontation at the end of I Am My Monster HAD to be one fueled by selfless love. Steven is at his absolute lowest at this point- he's everything he fears he's become, trapped in a form that's nearly incapable of reason. He's big and angry and spiky because that's a part of the facade- because a part of him WANTS to scare the Gems away, wants to be left alone forever, believing this the fate he deserves as price for his misdeeds.

In this form, by his own definitions he is NOT useful to the Crystal Gems at all.

But they don't care.

Because it never WAS about Steven's 'usefulness' to them, they simply love him for being Steven.

With this in mind, the conclusion of Steven Universe: Future wasn't just a salve to teen Steven's immediate struggles, it was a salve to the foundational insecurities that have been plaguing him his entire life.

And hopefully... from this point on... his family's shows of love and encouragement will be enough to finally convince Steven that he's more than worth their time...

No matter what path the future leads him on, and no matter what form he takes.

[notedchampagne]

copypasted from discord but another thing that was revelatory to me to realize is that griddlehark wants to be WITH each other, but the sixth wants to BE each other

its a pretty significant step of horror to realize that the sixth loves each other but the line of identity between them has gotten so blurred from the codependency it feels like you lose your own image when one of you dies - this can be compared to harrowharks "i cannot conceive of a universe without you in it" yet her most primary brain examples show her and gideon always existing by each other (leading into situations where they change each other permanently) and less so being next to each other all the time

which leads into the way harrow wants a steel grip on gideon from arms length 🙂🙃🙂 she wants gideon nearby but wont let herself close

palamedes acted like he expected harrowhark to discover a better lyctorhood but the thing is that harrowhark has a fundamentally different outlook on necrocavs, being that she wants to be independent of hers. SO THAT WILL BE FUN

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Also don't think anyone has said this (thats a joke) but like, art styles aside:

The animation, expressions, movement, everything of ATSV is IMPECCABLE.

Like insanely, ridiculously, almost mind bogglingly good.

[This is a MEDIUM length post]

The main strength is the Emotion -

In terms of animation, the range of emotions Miguel is capable of expressing is like... crazy good. Gwen's emotions ARE UNSPEAKABLY IMPRESSIVE.

LIKE...ANIMATING HER FUCKING BREATHING???? AND BLINKS!! AS AN EMOTIONAL CUE. HELLO???!!

And the movie hinges on this - almost every scene has an emotional cue that HAS to hit. Whether is Jess's looks of hesitation or Peter B.'s looks of horror.

And this may seem like the most ridiculous comparison ever made but like...

The Bee Movie and Across the Spider-Verse came out FIFTEEN YEARS APART.

THE BEE MOVIE...THIS MONSTRASITY that has plagued humankind - was made less than two decades from THIS:

The fact that we progressed that far as a society (pun intended) in that short of a time will never not baffle me.

I genuinely cannot name any other animated movie that:

Has multiple styles throughout the duration

Can seamlessly change styles without the viewer immediately noticing (like Gwen returning to her universe)

Show two or more animation styles on screen at the same time (and no, Roger Rabbit and Space Jam don't count - that's half live action lol)

Just off the top of my head - ATSV shows up to three styles in one scene: I'm mainly thinking of the scene that shows Hobie (customized - style 1), Peter B. (standard - style 2), and Miguel (a light stylized - style 3).

It can be brought to four if you want to count Miles/Gwen, though their style isn't visible.

I can think of a couple scenes that genuinely blew me away in terms of animation -

One being Rio's 'What-EVER?!' because of the little stance correction and head bob she does, because it's such a natural thing to do. And it adds so much to an already perfect line.

It's something someone would genuinely do IRL without even noticing.

Another I LOVE is Pavitr and Hobie roughhousing.

Like, I can't yell about these five seconds of animation more.

It's SO fluid it looks like Motion-Capture and I left the theatre googling is any Mo-Cap was used in the movie (and from what I can tell - no, it's all original animation).

The way Pavitr falls to the side and bumps them - This not only being a natural reaction to Hobie and his weight, but it also LOOKS natural. So much so you can see it affect Hobie's model too. The movement has kinetic energy on both models -

Which is AMAZING CONSIDERING THEY'RE ANIMATED ON LIKE FOUR DIFFERENT TIMES.

In this shot alone, there's the guitar, vest, AND Hobie, all of which have their own animation rules. Plus the outline on his guitar AND him. And then there PAVI too, who's running at a higher frame rate, touching and interacting with Hobie.

So much so that Hobie's model nearly wraps himself around Pavi. Pavi's hair is moving, Hobie's guitar is moving, there's movement in the background - and it looks GREAT.

PLUS THE CAMERA IS MOVING AND GOSTLING. IT'S NOT A STATIC SHOT. The models and camera are moving AS IF THEY'RE REAL when they're not.

That's - My..I CAN EVEN COMPUTE THAT.

But by far, I think the range of expression used on Miguel is like... Chef's kiss.

(of course I was gonna trick you into reading another post about Miguel. Uh-huh that's what's about to happen)

Like... are you kidding me?

NAH DEADASS ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????

The whole later half of the movie hinges on Miguel looking buckwild crazy insane and they NAIL that. And like-

Oh my god what the actual fuck

?????????????????????????? I........ I have nothing to add. After that picture......Nah... LMAOOO

(left: actual photo of Moche watching this happen)

But Anyway chile, This movie is like.. genuinely a modern marvel.

If Marvel gave Tim Gunn 4 billion dollars and five years, whatever live-action rendition he would have made would not even compare to ATSV on any conceivable level - that's how good it is so jot that down.

And like...don't even get me started on Hobie..his design..his representation...girl I will start crying in this Arby's do not play with me

I just felt that needed to be said.

you get what I'm saying yall know what I mean iight coo

Here's a picture of Hobie to cleanse your palette.

Bye.

[readingslime]

Spoilers for gtn and the first bit of htn

this is so fucked up... Like she said “I cannot conceive of a universe without you in it.” but she can't actually die because of her responsibilities. And her guilt. So she did the next best thing and killed herself off without killing herself in the most compartmentalizing harrowhark way so she can call herself dead... Like gideon... Dead and gone like a relief but still continuing on just enough to complete her responsibilities... Even the things she actually wanted to do like be a lyctor, gain knowledge, be alive to see the body come back, she's treating like burdensome things that she doesn't want to stick around to see and do with her own eyes. Like this isn't an act of being reborn and living without the painful truth of what she did, she's literally through this letter treating herself like a puppet, planning to manipulate her future self like she once did gideon, just live by the guidelines and don't ask any questions somehow knowing that even her future self would be so weird and fucked up and self hating that she would go through with it

like there is no hope for this future version of harrowhark. That's not in her plans at all

[crystalskiesandcherrywine]

The sound of the waves collide // Part One

Hello everyone, this is my first time writing. I just couldn't stop thinking about Feyd and how his story could have been different. So please don't be too hard on this. This is just the first part and I cannot wait to write more (smutty) chapters.

By the way, I cannot listen to Deftones without thinking of him.

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Na Baron Feyd Rautha x Atreides!Reader

FxM

All feedback is welcome <3

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You are Paul´s sister and after his love match to Princess Irulan it is on you to marry Na Baron Feyd ratha Harkonnen. And while you fear the unknown, there is a feeling in your gut that it may be more right for you than anything else in the known universe.

Part One // Part Three // Part Four

1.209 words

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There was no turning back once the decision was made. You were destined to marry Feyd Rautha and bear his heir, the Kwizadz Chaderach. It meant leaving behind your home, your family and though you never expected to miss her, even the Reverend Mother who visited your family so often. All the time you had spent learning the ways of the Bene Gesserit, the education your mother had given you it seems like they could continue forever. Only now did you understand the sadness that flickered in your mother's eyes when you complained about the long hours of the voice rehearsing or the never-ending combat training. She knew, even before you were conceived, that they were counted. Time was almost an abstract concept to you - the passing of the day in your home, surrounded by the warmth and love of your family, was such a natural environment f, while your mother knew full well that you would leave them when the time came. 

____

The news of your impending betrothal was so sudden and yet so expected. Paul's marriage to the Princess Irulan had been planned for some time and would take place in two weeks' time. 

"We will travel to the Padisha Empreros home for the celebration." Duke Leto announced. You will also meet your fiancé there. A week after that he will take you to Geidi Prime". 

You nodded briefly - there was no argument. And your pride would not allow it - after all, it would mean disappointing not only your father, but everyone in your family who poured their love, knowledge and kindness into your upbringing and training. But you couldn't help but notice a slight tension in Paul's muscles and jaw as he listened to your father speak.

As you left your father's hall, you took his hands in yours and let him out into the courtyard where you would be undisturbed. Lush green grass swallowed the sound of your footsteps and fresh sea air touched your skin. This palace was always your home and with Paul always at your side it felt like the most safe space in the universe. Not even the test by your Reverend Mother, the danger of the Gom Jabbar at your neck, the pain of the metal box she used could change that.

"Don't worry about me, brother" 

"And yet I do. Feld Ruatha is a brave warrior, but he is not known for his kindness. Rumours of his violent outbursts are well known. And his concubines are said to be vile creatures who feast on human flesh and encourage him to take pleasure in the pain of others. Baron Vladimir has moulded him into a being without fear, but also without pity. He has passed the test as we have, and yet I am not sure he is truly human". 

You felt a mixture of fear and anger rise in you. 

"And yet my fate is sealed, as is yours. There is no way out, so let us not wish for one".

Suddenly, Paul pulled you into an embrace so tight it almost knocked the air out of your lungs. 

"May your heart stay as brave as it is now, dear sister." 

And then you cannot hold back the tears, feeling the sense of security and love that seems to escape you with every passing heartbeat.

___

The preparations for your departure are a whirlwind. Paul's belongings, his books and his swords are gathered, as are yours. When almost everything is packed, you find a small glass box with a tiny fir tree inside and a note from your father, "A bit of home to take with you". Carefully, you place the box on top of the things you have already collected. But then you decide otherwise and place it next to a smaller box containing your jewelry, to be transported to your cabin instead of the cargo. 

Your brother's wedding to Princess Irulan attracts all the Great Houses to the Emperor's planet Kaitain. There are more ships than you can count, and even more navigators from the Space Guild, their faces covered with a sickly cloud of smoke from under their helmets. All of them dependent on spice. The one fabric that seems to bind all your worlds together. With Paul marrying the Irulan princes and taking over Arrakis, the Harkonnens could not simply be cast aside. So the Emperor made your match with his heir Na Baron Feud Rautha. Or so he thinks, and yet it was Bene Gesserit's plan all along. Princess Irulan seems to understand this too, for she sends for you the day after your arrival. You feel honoured by the invitation, but also a little nervous. As soon as you enter her chamber, you curtsy to her. 

"Princess, thank you for the invitation" 

"Please call me Irulan, as we are to be family for three days. Please join me for a walk"

You nod and follow her through the light-filled halls. Hers and your ladies-in-waiting follow close behind.

"I have a present for you," she says, her eyes twinkling. 

You are not sure what to make of it. You are both familiar with the teachings of the Bene Gesserit, and you know that the gift is more than just that. You enter a small room with a single table and a small metal plate on it. "It is a book about the Harkonnen, their house and their planet Geidi Prime. You can find any information that might be useful." Your cheeks flush pink as you realize the meaning. Princess Irulan knows what her love match with Paul has cost you. That he should have been a girl to marry a Harkonnen and yet Lady Jessica decided otherwise and by disobeying her orders made you the one to live on the inhospitable planet.

"Thank you for your generosity, Irulan"

"There is nothing to thank me for," she says, leaving you alone in the room.

As soon as you have returned to your chambers, you will find Lady Jessica waiting for you. 

"You are to meet Feyd Rautha tonight before the banquet."

"I understand." 

"This is your chance to make the right impression. Remember, fear is a small death"

"Yes, mother."

A lush green dress has been laid out for you, with small gold clasps at the shoulders and tiny glass beads forming leaf shapes around the bodice and hood of the dress. As the dress reaches the floor, it still feels as if you are not wearing enough to protect yourself. As your ladies-in-waiting prepare your hair, you try to calm yourself. When all is said and done, your family is summoned to the Emperor's Hall - as soon as you enter it feels like your skin is on fire, you feel like someone is watching you and then your eyes meet a muscular figure standing at the feet of the emperor´s throne. He is more of a statue, perhaps, than he is a man - hairless, with trained muscles and contrasting black uniform and piercing blue eyes. Everything else seems to fade away, narrowed down to this moment, your heartbeat and the intense gaze of Na Baron Feed Rautha Harkonnen.

[babydarkstar]

it makes me really insane that gideon doesn’t believe harrow could ever love her. insane. like i get it i get that the only way she knows how to be loved is to be objectified and useful and turned into a weapon and harrow has never treated her well, the ninth has never treated her like a human and she’s an animal in a spiked cage but then to get harrow’s perspective and witnessing the last thread of what was holding her together snap because she lost gideon. gideon having been so assured of her worthlessness not believing that harrowhark ‘you are my only friend. i am undone without you. gideon. gideon. i cannot do this. i cannot conceive of a universe without you. if i should forget you let my right hand also be forgotten.’ gideon’s-name-was-the-last-thing-her-body-said-before-death-even-when-her-mind-couldnt-process-it nonagesimus feels even slightly attached to her. it makes me feel like tearing my hair out actually

[holysaintscathedral]

Books for the Hierophile

Similar to my fic recommendation list, the following is a list of books that might be of interest to any hierophile (Christian based hierophilia anyway). The majority of books here are erotica or romance (het, mlm, and wlw) and physical copies can be found at most major in-person and online book sellers, unless stated otherwise. The titles are listed in alphabetical order with a brief synopsis.

A Knight for the Runaway Nun (#2 in Convent Brides series) by Carol Townend - An evocative friends-to-lovers story set in Medieval France. From novice nun…To unexpected bride! Lady Bernadette is poised to take Holy Orders when Sir Hugo of Nérac, her father’s captain of the guards, arrives with news that her sister is expecting. Petrified of childbirth since her mother died, Bernadette races home. But now that she’s left the convent, her father wants her wed! There’s only one solution: marry Hugo, her childhood friend. But can she risk consummating their marriage and conceiving…even if his kisses are unbearably tempting? 

Beautiful Sinner (stand-alone novel in Beautiful series) by Sara Cate - “Lord, help me…A beautiful, young American girl wound up stranded far from home on my doorstep. When she begged me to stay, I did what a good priest would do, and I said yes. But a good priest wouldn’t spend his days thinking about the fullness of her ruby red lips or feel the sting of envy with the way she draws men to her like flies to honey. A good priest would have stopped things before that first touch. And he certainly wouldn’t have given into temptation so easily, but when Cadence Thorn walked in, she brought me to my knees. A good priest takes his vows seriously.But I am not a good priest.” Only available in Kindle Edition.

Collared: The Story of a Sir and Her Priest by Melissa Cohen - "Collared: The Story of a Sir and Her Priest" is the true story of a real-life Master/slave relationship between Melissa, a dominant woman, and Joseph, a submissive man ... who happens to be a Roman Catholic Priest. It's the story of their forbidden love and the emotional depths they explore, all the while having to keep their relationship a complete secret. But as their love deepens and her ownership of him grows more real, Joseph is faced with the choice between honoring his commitment to God and leaving the priesthood for a chance at the freedom to love.

Dirty Priests and Preachers Gay Erotica Collection by T. J. Royalty - Men of the cloth – without the cloth! Priests exploring forbidden urges. Preachers committing unholy sin. These stories will have you on your knees and praying for mercy! Compilation and individual stories featured are only available in Kindle Edition.

Dancing Priest (#1 in Dancing Priest series) by Glynn Young - Michael Kent... A young man studying to become a priest finds love, and learns that faith can separate. A university cyclist seeking Olympic gold finds tragedy, death and heroism. A pastor thousands of miles from home seeks vocation and finds fatherhood. Sarah Hughes... A young woman living abroad finds love and loses family. A university student meets a faith she cannot accept. An artist finds faith and learns to paint with her soul. Dancing Priest is the story of Michael Kent and Sarah Hughes and a love, born, separated, and reborn, in faith and hope.

Everybody Calls my Father, Father: The Scandalous, Passionate Love Affair Between a Catholic Priest and a Broadway Actress by Tim “Dr. Hope” Andres - Everybody Calls my Father, Father is based on the true life love story of the author's parents. The character of a tenacious young woman, Bouvette Sherwood, who is a successful New York Broadway producer and actress, drives the plot. In the mid 1940s Bouvette meets and falls in love with a charming alcoholic, Hughie Hewitt. He has a secret though, which he keeps from her during their intense courtship-he is a Catholic priest! Their love story unfolds into a kaleidoscope of intrigue, suspense, betrayal, and romance.

La Faute de L'Abbé Mouret (The Sins of Father Mouret) by Émile Zola - Serge Mouret, is an obsessively devout priest, aspiring to perfect purity and sanctity. A serious illness leaves him with amnesia, and no longer knowing he is a priest, he falls in love with his nurse Albine. Together they roam an Eden-like garden called the "Paradou," seeking a forbidden tree, beneath whose boughs they make love. Anguish follows, as the abbe regains his memory and returns to the church. In this, the fifth novel in the Rougon-Macquart series, Zola concentrates on the conflict between church and nature; celibacy and sexuality. A film adaption called The Demise of Father Mouret, starring Francis Huster and Gillian Hills, was released in 1970.

In Love With a Priest by Damilola Babs - In Love With a Priest poses a question to us all; when God chooses to hold a man, does he ever let go? Find out in the story of Maya Alpha Lange. A story of love, hurt and God's true peace.

Keeping His Commandments by Elle Keating - Desire, lust, love…You’re not supposed to feel those things for a woman, and you’re definitely not allowed to act on them when you’re a Catholic priest. I had taken vows; vows that I’ve upheld for eight celibate years, and had made a promise to God that I swore I would never break. But then I met Eva, my stepmother’s estranged twenty-eight-year-old daughter, and she made me forget who I was. What I was.I prayed for guidance.I prayed for the strength not to give into temptation.My prayers went unanswered…or so I thought

Léon Morin, Prêtre (The Passionate Heart) by Béatrix Beck - In a small French town during the Occupation, Barny is a young, wayward, sexually frustrated widow, living with her little girl. She is also a communist militant who long ago decided that the easiest way was the best. One day she enters a church, randomly chooses a priest and starts criticizing the religion. But the priest is Leon Morin, who is young, handsome, clever and altruistic. He believes that any sin can be expunged by a good dose of faith, and does not offer her the reaction she was expecting. She is disturbed. She starts frequenting Morin, impressed by his moral strength, while he makes it his mission to steer her onto the right path. A film adaptation starring Jean-Paul Belmondo and Emmanuelle Riva was released in 1961.

Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun by Gabriel de Guilleragues - The "Portuguese Letters" were published anonymously in 1669, alleged translations into French of letters written by a Portuguese nun to a French officer who had loved and left her. Recent scholarship suggests Guilleragues was their author. Reminiscent of the exchanges between Heloise and Abelard of an earlier time, the letters display a remarkable acuity of psychological insight into the mind of a woman in love and on the edge of hysteria.

Lesbian Nun Erotica: Forbidden Age Gap by Madeline Vey - A new student at an all girl's catholic school finds herself as the center of attention of her insatiable classmates. As the only... uncorrupted girl left on campus, she'll be forced to watch and tempted by the unspeakable acts committed by the other girls... until she's begging them to include her in their sin.

La Madre (The Woman and the Priest) by Grazia Deledda - The Woman and the Priest is the story of a struggle between a priest, his lover and his mother. It is an unusual book, both in its story and its setting in a remote Sardinian hill village, half civilized and superstitious.

Naughty Nuns and Passionate Priests: Three Erotic Shorts by Fallon Angel - Three stories of untouched nuns, guilty excitement, and willingly broken vows. This collection combines the Sin and Sacrilege trilogy into one volume.

Nun Better by Joanie Lindenmeyer with Carol Tierheimer - What happens when two women commit to serving the Catholic Church as nuns-Brides of Christ, taking vows of chastity-but fall passionately in love?They must defy the Church's rules against same-sex relationships and blaze a bold trail for a joyous, adventurous life together-at a time when LGBTQ people could be killed for being gay and same-sex marriage was decades in the future.Now Joanie Lindenmeyer and Carol Tierheimer are sharing their courageous and blissful, 40-year journey in NUN BETTER: An AMAZING Love Story. Their breathtaking love story showcases the magic and miracles of love, and two women's unshakable devotion to spreading joy and peace in the spirit of God.

Original Sinners: The Nun and the Priest by Alexis Honeywell - The moment that Serena and Luke met, they were both consumed by an overwhelming attraction. Of course it was forbidden - he was a priest, and she was a nun - but they couldn't help themselves. Suddenly their chaste, celibate lives felt like a prison, and they longed to be free, to lose themselves in passion together, even if the consequences altered their lives forever.

Pretty Parishioners (4 book series) by Willa Pope - Only available in Kindle Edition (1. Punished by the Priest, 2. Passed Around by the Priest, 3. Pleasuring the Priest and 4. Performing for the Priest). Each smutty stand-alone installment of this series chronicles the escapades between various women and a priest.

The Priest, His Lady and the Drowned Child by Mary Cavanagh - For twenty years, Father Ewan McEwan, a Roman Catholic priest, has enjoyed a passionate long-term relationship with Marina Proudfoot, an older woman of great beauty and refinement, whose two-year-old daughter and husband were tragically drowned in a boating accident. But when Marina unexpectedly dies, the emotional fallout affects not just Ewan, but Marina's son, Timothy, his lover, Roger, and Roger's wife, Sally. Now Ewan must survive not only his profound grief but also the secret revelations she leaves behind.

The Priest by Patsy George - From the time Joseph Grant is a young child he dreams of being a priest. He is an honest, hardworking and likable boy that rises above tragedy. He befriends the neighborhood parish priest, Father Marc, whom remains Joseph's father figure and mentor throughout his young challenging life. Joseph is the quintessential child grown out of pure unadulterated love. His young childhood and adolescence is filled with dreams of pastor ship and unconditional love for all mankind. Then he faces and surmounts the most heart wrenching experience a young man could possibly face. After rising above heartbreak he sets out to fulfill his childhood dream as a responsible young adult. Joseph's life takes an unexpected turn while at college. He meets a young lady named Emily, whom he has an instant attraction to. Their friendship turns to innocent love, and gives Joseph a tough decision to make. His ultimate decision, in his confusion, is to attend a seminary in which he has been accepted at. He forces himself to complete the journey he started, while never forgetting his Emily. While attempting to accomplish his lifelong dream, he endures some shocking surprises and discoveries. Some of his fellow seminarians are not of the same moral fiber as Joseph. These and other revelations help him make a decision to defy what he views as unfair and inaccurate manmade restrictions placed on priests. Joseph gains a following that not even the Pope can deny. He eventually rocks the very core of the Vatican by just being himself.

Priest by D. Greg Denton - Chase was a child of privilege. Max was not. Chase had lofty goals. Max had one, to survive high school. Chase took it upon himself to rescue Max. Max just wanted to be near Chase, but then they both graduated and went their separate ways. A few years later, they came together again, by chance. But they were separated when Chase chose a life of service to God and His people over the man he loved. Fate would bring them together one more time and it was up to Chase to do the right thing… by Max this time. Would their love survive all they’d already been through and what awaited them next? Available in Kindle Edition.

The Priest’s House: Pregnant to a Man Who Cannot Resist the Calling of God by Claire Marie - The coldest day in hell for Jo Burnside is the day her lover, Fr. Michael Toner, takes on responsibility for a remote parish instead of fleeing with her to Canada and a new life. Jo accompanies Michael to his new parish. She expects disapproval if not outright condemnation for seducing a 'holy' Catholic priest. What she finds is a parochial house reeking of betrayed innocence.The lovers are found naked in bed together, then a patient under Jo’s care in the local hospital, haemorrhages and dies. This threatens a black depression in Jo who has just discovered that she is pregnant. The priest, Michael, has his own problems, including crippling injuries. Michael would work himself to death without Jo's restraining influence. In the new parish, he discovers a resentful congregation, a young mother without any hope of redemption, and he finds himself pursued by a sex-obsessed failed nun. Then the bishop comes storming into their lives, threatening excommunication if Jo doesn’t renounce Michael forever.

Plum’s Priest Daddy (standalone novel in Clover City Little series) by Honey Meyer - Plum Brolingtide is the rockabilly fashionista who owns Caffeinatrix--Clover City’s premier cafe. The buxom barista’s favorite hobby? Flirting outrageously with the priest who frequents her establishment. Gideon Davies is the handsome and unflappable priest at All Saints church who has a weakness for almond croissants, flat whites, and disciplining mouthy young women. Plum and Gideon get to know each other in the biblical sense and beyond but a tragedy at Plum’s cafe forces their hand to put a label on their affair. Sure they have a great time together, but can Plum see Gideon as a prospect for Mr. Right instead of just Mr. Right Now? And will Gideon be swayed by the chorus of voices in his congregation calling his relationship with Plum improper and ungodly? Available in Kindle Edition.

Pet Priest (3 part BDSM MLM series) by Natasha Ryder - Only available in Kindle Editions (1. The Dreams, 2. Waking Life and 3. Beyond Dreams) Father Sean O'Leary has been struggling with a secret his whole life. A secret that could ruin his entire career, not to mention put his immortal soul in grave danger. He has a male lover who comes to him in his dreams, and not only that, but that lover is an agent of evil, a demon named Adriel. No one has never made Sean feel like Adriel does, sinful, forbidden, perfect acts of pure lust that could ruin him forever. Every time Adriel touches him, Sean feels like he loses more of himself to the demon, and that's not a good thing because Adriel doesn't seem entirely happy to simply remain in his dreams. Can love truly conquer all, even between a priest and a demon?

Sister Matthew and Sister Rose: Novices in Love by Carol Anne Douglas - Maureen Collins, recently named Sister Matthew in the novitiate at St. Euphrosnye’s convent in Western Maryland in 1962, doubts the existence of God. She entered the convent for several reasons: she thinks being surrounded by believers might help her believe; she knows she’s attracted to women and wants to avoid pressure to date men and marry; and she feels guilty about something that happened when she was in high school. She quickly falls in love with Rose Clancy, now Sister Rose, another novice who also is attracted to women. Rose is more religious, but she reciprocates Sister Matthew’s feelings. She grew up with an alcoholic mother and found a refuge among the nuns who taught her. As the two move through postulancy and the novitiate, they encounter many challenges from the strict rules to memories of their respective pasts. The memory of an old murder intrudes in the present.

Sins of the Sister I: Genesis, a Romance Novel by Elle Doan - In the summer of 1917, Angelique and her older sister, Charlotte, are two lovely but sheltered Creole sisters from the countryside who are entering the convent in New Orleans. The sisters are best friends but Angelique has always lived in Charlotte's shadow because of Charlotte's great beauty and tremendous academic ability. On their way to New Orleans, they encounter a dashing yet mysterious priest, Father Pascal, and Angelique is immediately enamored with him. Living in the harsh and divided city of New Orleans finally forces the two sisters deal with discrimination, class differences, and even romance. Angelique, who has never desired marriage or even sex, must confront her growing feelings towards Father Pascal, who is also haunted by his torturous past. Her rivalry with her sister and other wealthier nuns threaten Angelique's relationship with Charlotte. The Reverend Mother takes an immediate dislike to the free-spirited and free-thinking Angelique, and wants to expel her from the nunnery. Will Angelique remain in the convent? Can she repair her relationship with Charlotte? Can she resolve her feelings towards the brooding and aloof Father Pascal? Only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

The Sacred Sins of Father Black: A MM Forbidden Priest Romance by St. John Starling - Father Sebastian Black might be a saint, or he might be the Devil himself. Either way there is nothing simple or innocent about this small town Catholic priest. When the FBI sets their sights on the town of Hopewell, they cannot know what they will uncover. With a spate of forged rare wines flooding the auction houses of the world, even communities as charming and innocuous as Father Black’s church are subject to scrutiny. It's only when Father Black meets the man they've sent that the walls he has built around himself begin to come tumbling down and all of his secrets are laid bare one by one. Quentin Day is brilliant, charismatic, and, above all, dedicated to the truth — everything an FBI agent should be. In practice, all this does is force him to stand alone in a corrupt system. Ordered to a remote town in pursuit of forgers, he finds himself irresistibly falling for the local priest. This is a tragedy for him. After all, priests are off-limits, aren’t they? Or is Father Black more than meets the eye? Available in Kindle Edition and on Payhip.

Saints and Sinners (10 part series) by Amie Barnes - Are we saints or are we sinners? These priests are both as they lead their flock but become tempted by one in their parish. An anthology series depicting various priests and their fall from grace. Only available in Kindle Edition (1. My First Confession, 2. My Biggest Temptation, 3. The Sweetest Sin, 4. In the Father’s House, 5. The Father’s Discipline, 6. The Father’s Protection, 7. The Father’s Obsession, 8. The Father’s Troublemaker, 9. The Father’s Downfall, and 10. The Father’s Siren).

Sacrilege: A Forbidden Dark Romance Anthology - Corruption. Sin. Greed. Temptation. Nothing is sacred. Not the priest who looks at you with hunger etched into his rugged face. Not the nun who hides her secrets in the scars on her arms. Definitely not the theology professor who keeps his student long after class is over. A different kind of worship. A wicked type of praise. A devil's paradise and an angel's ruin. Get on your knees, but don't bother calling out to Him. No one can save you from sin.

Sweetest Sins: A Lesbian Romance Novella by Aurora Lemaire - Lonely, free-spirited Lily dreams of becoming a nun. She's been a good Catholic girl all her life but that changes the day she catches her idol, mysterious nun, Jane, reading a steamy lesbian romance. Now Lily is questioning everything she once knew. What else is the brooding Jane hiding? Can Lily risk discovering her secrets when the Mother Superior is already determined to send her packing? Or will the desire building between them destroy everything they've both worked for? Only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Slutty for Sin by DeeDee Cupps - Sister Anne always wanted to be a nun. When Sister Catherine joined the convent, that lifelong dream was replaced with hot, wet desire. How long can they withstand their growing lust? Only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Taking the Priest by Lola Bowie - When the sweet new choir teacher, Elodie, confesses her desires to gently peg and dominate the man of her dreams, Ben, her priest, has little idea that it is him she desires. Her fantasy awakens a deep longing inside of him. Is he brave enough to go on a journey of erotic pleasure and self-discovery? Could the young submissive priest have found another altar to worship before? A steamy short story containing gentle femdom, only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Trained by the Priest by Betty Black - I waited until marriage. But now I need to know what to do on my wedding night. And who better to teach me than my priest? In order to please my husband, I'm going to turn to the one man I trust above all else: the priest I've known my whole life. He'll teach me all the moves I need to make sure I'm a good little wife, willing and eager to please! Only available in Kindle Edition.

The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough - The Thorn Birds is a chronicle of three generations of Clearys—an indomitable clan of ranchers carving lives from a beautiful, hard land while contending with the bitterness, frailty, and secrets that penetrate their family. It is a poignant love story, a powerful epic of struggle and sacrifice, a celebration of individuality and spirit. Most of all, it is the story of the Clearys' only daughter, Meggie, and the haunted priest, Father Ralph de Bricassart—and the intense joining of two hearts and souls over a lifetime, a relationship that dangerously oversteps sacred boundaries of ethics and dogma. A television mini series adapted from the novel starring Richard Chamberlain and Rachel Ward aired in 1983.

To Love a Priest by Victor S. E. MouBarack - When Father Ignatius’ past catches up with him there is no way to escape the consequences for him and those around him. He must face facts regardless of how seriously they could affect his vocation as a priest. “TO LOVE A PRIEST” is the most controversial book in the Father Ignatius series and deals with questions on many peoples’ mind as yet unresolved by the Church. A gripping story of conflict between conscience and dogma, treating a delicate subject with compassion and forgiveness.

TamIng Rebellion by Hanna T. Corner - Kayla is abrasive and rebellious, getting herself kicked out of college for starting fights and buying bikes, so she's sent to a nunnery in order to correct her behavior. But she wasn't expecting nun Marlee, who has a voracious and suppressed sexual appetite sets out to spank disobedient Kayla into submission. Only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Trilogy of the Poor Horny Nuns by C. P. Waterman - A collection of stories comprising A Poor Nun's Endowment, The Poor Nuns in Revolt, and Return to the Poor Nuns, previously published during 2013-2014.  Set in England, 1348: Mary is a country girl with a tomboy streak. When she reaches adulthood and finds herself excluded from the company of the boys with whom she grew up, she rebels and her father consigns her to a convent. On the journey there, she is approached by an old crone and granted one wish; on an impulse, she makes a strange choice: she wants a penis, so she can be accepted in the young men's group. But fate consigns her to the priory, where Mary unwittingly falls under the spell of the evil Sister Benedicta, mistress of the novices; when Benedicta discovers Mary's anatomical transformation, she makes her her own private sex-pet and Mary finds herself installed as a hermitess, confined to a private cell... where only Benedicta can come and use her to fulfil her own sexual desires any time she wishes. The local priest is interested, too. Is there no escape? A chance visit by a face from her lost past - and the simultaneous arrival of the Great Pestilence (The Black Death) - offer her the opportunity she needs to get away. Will she grasp the moment with both hands? And what then, when the known world is turned upside down? Two more fantasies follow; on both occasions, Mary cannot resist returning to her friends to enjoy more intimacy at the convent. And, with her peculiar attribute, the nuns cannot resist her. And nor can the priests.... This (poorly titled) compilation edition is only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Unholy Desires by D. Williams - “As a spiritual leader of the community, I have been looked at for many things. Advice, guidance and sometimes just friendship. You meet a lot of different people in all stages of life while working for the Church but never have I met someone like her. The almost instant desire she stirs in me that I can not shake is unnerving. She tests my restraints, and I find myself forgetting my vows but, even worse, wanting to forsake them. It’s been said many times God only gives the hardest battles to his strongest soldiers, but this is one war I’m afraid I will lose. A Priest is only a man that can resist his unholy desires.”

The Village Priest (#3 in A St. Francis Hill Mystery series) by Tina Proffitt - Father Christian Hyman, a village priest in St. Francis Hill, South Carolina, loves Misty Sumner with all his heart, yet his dedication to his calling means that he cannot ever have her. Christian must discover what has happened to his dear friend, why she's afraid to leave her house and won't even look out the window that overlooks the steep valley beyond. Misty's life is unrecognizable to her since moving out of her house and into a cottage that sits at the edge of town overlooking the valley. When she learns of a nun's death, thrown from the high abbey wall into the very woods surrounding her home, many years ago, she must put her detective skills to work to assist the spirit that haunts her. Silas Baecere was a nineteenth-century village priest in St. Francis who loved Ada Gardiner very much, yet could not have her either. Memories of his life with Ada haunt him day and night. Her familiar scent lingers whenever he is alone in the house they once shared. Silas must come to grips with the kind of man he wants to be or lose Ada forever. Ada Gardiner, a nun whose loyalty to Father Silas knows no bounds, finds herself inextricably in love with him, which means disastrous consequences for them both. Her work as a scribe has taught her many things about magical, healing herbs, and the people of her village rely upon her for her medicinal wisdom. It also makes some fear her and want to hurt her. Ada must face her worst fear, being separated from her love.

Vows We Break by Serena Akeroyd - Vows. Savio lives by them. Dreams. I exist in them. Obsessed with a picture, I'm in Rome to get over writer’s block, but more importantly, I've come to the Eternal City to find someone. Savio is a broken soul. A French-Italian priest in the capital of the Catholic world, he preaches religious tenets he no longer believes in. He’s also the man I'm looking for. A priest who makes sinners pay. Who makes them burn for the temptations into which they fall. I exist to tempt him, my sole purpose is to save him, and my end goal is Savio—in my bed. My heart. My life. He's a fallen soul, desperately in need of a future that takes him away from the sinners who deserve to lose their lives for the evil they reap. Can I make him break his vows, make him fall to save both our souls before the Devil can embrace us both? 

The Wayward Priest by William N. McKelvy - Falling overboard, almost drowned, an attractive girl goes under a personality change. Her memory gone, only her survival instinct left, she is taken to a priest's African missionary. Lilly wakes up night after night in her bed exhausted, blood on her mouth and gown. She begs the Father to lock her up at night. The two of them fall in love. She crashes in a plane, he thinks she is dead. He goes to Ireland, leaves the priesthood, falls in love, then, then tragedy strikes. He returns to Africa dreaming of Lilly until one day ...

[therainbowsaws]

“This is all there is to love? Simply by being in your life, I have added indelibly to its weight?”

“This again? From you and her both? That merely by loving you, I added to your torments?”

(Encouragingly) “Yes, and also my agonies.”

“Camilla, we did it right, didn’t we?” Palamedes said, and now Nona knew he wasn’t speaking to anyone else in the universe.

“My whole life, yes. Yes, forever, yes. Life is too short and love is too long.”

“Tell me how to do it, and I’ll do it.”

“Go loud.”

“It’s finished, it’s done. You can’t take loved away.”

“I’ll keep loving you—my problem is I don’t know how to stop.”

“and hey, what’s like except a love that hasn’t been invited indoors?”

“I cannot conceive of a universe without you in it.”

I still love y