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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 years

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Another year-end round-up: Top ten comedy-related podcast episodes I heard in 2022, but not using more than episode from each podcast, because otherwise it would just be a list of my ten favourite Bugle episodes. Put in chronological order from when they first aired, simply because it was hard enough to narrow this down to only ten and chronological order saves me from also ranking them in any other way.

1. The Bugle’s John Oliver era

Hosts: Andy Zaltzman and John Oliver

Guest(s): producers Tom Wright and Chris Skinner, I guess?

Episode #/Title: 131, A Miner Celebration

Date: 2010-10-18

Obviously, trying to pick just one of these is ridiculous. I got into The Bugle in March 2022, and it proceeded to define my entire year. But upon careful consideration, if I had to pick just one, I’m going with the episode in which they celebrated their third anniversary. This was celebrated together by John, Andy, and both their producers, which seemed very exciting. Producer Tom had been with them from when they’d started until he’d moved to Australia in early 2010, but in that time, he’d made enough interjections into the conversations to be a fan favourite, and everyone got very angry when he left. This was the birth of the “fuck you Chris” running joke that lasted for years, aimed at Tom’s replacement Chris Skinner, as people would start all emails to The Bugle with “Fuck you Chris” to remind him that no one could ever replace Tom.

So it was pretty cool when, about six months after Tom had left, Andy Zaltzman surprised the listeners by announcing that Tom was visiting London and joining them in the studio for their anniversary episode! As the episode unfolded, it became clear that before the recording, Andy had been to the pub with Producer Tom and Producer Chris, and all of them were slightly drunk. Andy Zaltzman’s comedy is normally so tightly written, he’s so careful to stay in character, that hearing him loosened up a bit was a delight. As was hearing all four of those people (John, Andy, Tom, Chris) on an episode together, as by that time, Producer Chris had become a favoruite as well, and the “Fuck you Chris” emails had become affectionate, though still frequent.

It opens with John Oliver playing a voice message from Rob Riggle in which he gets called both a “bitch” and a “piece of French garbage”, and Andy Zaltzman announcing that their guests will be a soundproof safe containing “the Pussycat Dolls, longtime Bugleizers, all of them, particularly Sporty and Baby” (“That’s not... it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, I just - I’m not even going to pick you up on that, it’s fine.” - John Oliver) and it only gets better from there. There are peace talks that quickly unravel. There is cake. Andy Zaltzman talks a bunch of shit about capitalism and God. There are four people who are all very relaxed and having a very good time.

Special mentions of other notably strong episodes of this podcast go to... I don’t even know how to do this since it’s all of them, but the ones where they talk shit about News International in 2011 come to mind. The major pun runs. The one after Berlusconi got hit with a ceramic cathedral and it made John and Andy happier than anything else ever has. Bin Laden’s Fuck Youlogy. The episodes after the 2008 DNC and RNC. Playing the fan-made remixes of bullshit monologues - Boffin in a Coffin gets lots of attention and rightly so, but I think my favourite is the date with Delonte West. Any episode that’s heavy on Tuesday night football stories. Losing their minds about the songs Honky Tonk Badonkadonk and Sexy and I Know It. Just everything.

2. WTF

Host: Marc Maron

Guest(s): John Oliver

Episode #/Title: 298

Date: 2012-07-19

Here’s what I wrote just after hearing that episode, but that does contain a lot of wandering into off-topic stuff about my own life, so I don’t particularly recommend slogging through it.

The point is that I do not like Marc Maron - I didn’t like him before and he hugely annoyed me for this entire episode - but John Oliver was so good on there that that made up for it. I really enjoyed hearing John Oliver go into his past about living in England, and talk about his influences in comedy. Not just other comedians, but things like his love of sports and Philip Larkin and a chip on his shoulder about class. It’s a really good interview, if you can stand listening to Marc Maron for that long, which I find it difficult to do.

3. The Comedian’s Comedian

Host: Stuart Goldsmith

Guest(s): Andy Zaltzman

Episode #/Title: 82

Date: 2014-06-25

Here’s what I wrote just after hearing that episode.

Rereading that post now reminds me of just how hard it hit me the first time. It was, weirdly, kind of like hearing my dad cry. Despite the fact that, and I swear I know both these things full well, Andy Zaltzman isn’t my dad and he didn’t cry. It was just so jarring to hear him out of character, and he talked very candidly - surprisingly candidly - about all the things he wished were better in his own career and in British satire overall. All the things he’d tried and failed to do in an industry that kept making the same panel shows instead.

I assume some of the candour is because this episode caught Andy Zaltzman at a tough time, during the short window between when John Oliver had started Last Week Tonight and when he left The Bugle. They were will telling the audience at that point that The Bugle would not slow down just because John had his own TV show, but I think they must have known it couldn’t last, and you can hear the frustration in Andy Zaltzman’s voice as he knows he’s about to get left behind in the only thing he’s managed to make really successful. He even opens up a bit about jealousy of John Oliver’s far greater success, which is this sort of tension that’s been almost relentlessly unspoken the more it grows.

Aside from the personal stuff, Andy Zaltzman has some great insights into comedy: the process of writing jokes as creative as his, what political comedy can be and what it can achieve, what has influenced his work. It’s such a rare look at Andy Zaltzman being serious and honest, and he has so much to say.

Special mentions of other notably strong episodes of this podcast go to Stewart Lee, Mark Watson, Paul Chowdhry, and David O’Doherty.

4. The Things We Do for Love

Host: Isy Suttie

Guest(s): John Robins

Episode #/Title: s01e01

Date: 2016-02-11

Here’s what I wrote just after hearing that episode.

Basically, this one was just enormous fun. It’s the second episode on this list that I’ve chosen partly because someone on it was drunk, which I guess isn’t great, but it was really fun. A properly drunk John Robins talking to Isy Suttie for an hour about teenage crushes and adult crushes and stupid things people do as a result. A lot of the humour came from how well they know each other, obviously with the same person having both a baby with Isy Suttie and a radio show with John Robins, and at one point Robins did threaten to murder them all for their sitcom money. It was a case of someone being totally unguarded - possibly too unguarded, and you wouldn’t want media to be like that all the time, I guess. But for one hour it was enormous fun.

I said in my post about it that I wasn’t sure if I’d listen to the rest of the podcast, but I did end up listening to all of it, and special mentions go to the episodes with Danielle Ward, Josh Widdicombe, and Bridget Christie. Those were all great, but nothing actually beat that first one.

5. The Bugle’s 4000 series

Host: Andy Zaltzman

Guest(s): Nish Kumar and Alice Fraser

Episode #/Title: 4050, Bad Boys

Date: 2017-11-18

Like with the other part of The Bugle, this entire enterprise has taken over my life in 2022 too much for me to be able to reasonably choose just one example. But I think, looking at all the episodes (and I’ve only heard episodes 4000-4200 - that took me to mid-2021 after that I took a break from the podcast because it was getting too close to the present and less escapist, thought I intend to go back and hear the rest of them in 2023), this one’s still my favourite.

Here’s what I wrote just after hearing that episode.

It was a live show, and the first time Nish Kumar and Alice Fraser, the two most frequent guests of the 4000 series, were on together. It was the first time since John Oliver left that they reached that level of chemistry again, that they naturally hit all the running jokes and back-and-forth with each other and the audience, and everyone was having a really good time. I remember listening to that and thinking this is the first time it feels like The Bugle could be really really great again (you know, like America), and I’ve heard Andy Zaltzman say something similar later on, that it got off to a shaky start but there was a turning point where things clicked and it was around here. Everyone was in top form.

Special mentions of other notably strong episodes of this podcast go to episode 4161 with Mark Steel and Hari Kondabolu, episode 4189 with David O’Doherty and Tom Ballard, and episode 4191 with Chris Addison and Alice Fraser.

6. Tea with Alice

Host: Alice Fraser

Guest(s): Tiff Stevenson

Episode #/Title: Consent Cast

Date: 2017-12-01

Here’s what I wrote just after hearing that episode.

I really enjoyed listening to this episode of two women discussing the gauntlet of experiences from casual sexism to harassment to assault, in ways that could go beyond the surface. These people work in the same industry, they’ve both been there a long time, they already know the basics. They don’t have to re-hash Consent 101 or whatever, they don’t have to address the question of “Do these bad things happen?” They can take it as read that they do happen, they’re a problem, and it’s worth discussing in more detail than that. They get into specifics of how it looks, how it’s responded to, how it feels, how it affects the atmosphere that’s felt even by women who don’t experience it directly. How it changes the choices and calculations they make. How they may have different opinions on some of the finer points of the best way to handle these things, and different women can disagree about those finer points while agreeing on the overall fact that this is a problem and needs to be solved.

Listening to this made me realize how, even though discussions about consent and #metoo are everywhere, it’s not all that common that you get a discussion between two women who have similar experiences, without any men there. It’s great to have conversations about this stuff that include men! There should be lots of those, and there are lots of genuinely good men who need to hear this stuff, and there are also times when men have useful additions to the overall conversation. But I think it’s good for there to be some conversations where it’s just women talking to each other about what women already know is happening, so they can skip the part where they explain the stuff that you don’t know unless you’ve been a woman in those positions (or unless you’ve listened to women who have been, which a lot of men do, and seriously, I’m a feminist who’s of the view that men can be feminists too, not just “allies”, I’m just saying it’s good to have some conversations that are for women and by women).

7. Mrs. Brightside

Host: Susan Calman

Guest(s): Mark Watson

Episode #/Title: 8

Date: 2018-07-23

Here’s a link to what I wrote just after hearing that episode.

I found that this episode was a little bit like the Tea with Alice one, in that it takes a subject that’s ubiquitous in public discussion these days, but goes a fair bit deeper than most discussions do. In this case the subject is mental health, and they both get very candid about their own struggles. About how it actually feels, what sort of things it can cause, what actually works and doesn’t in trying to respond to it. Some of it was genuinely hard to hear, because it got so intensely realistic, but I’m glad I listened to it.

Susan Calman is known for being blunt and direct about everything, including her own battles with depression, and Mark Watson is known for being thoughtful and analytical about everything. That makes a very good combination for an honest conversation like this one.

8. Who Hurt You

Host: Sofie Hagan

Guest(s): Mark Watson

Episode #/Title: end of 2019 wrap-up

Date: 2020-01-08, 2020-01-15

Mark Watson has appeared a bunch of times on this podcast, notably doing two-part episodes at the end of a few years in a row, in which he spent New Year’s with his friend Sofie Hagan, and they’d record several hours of the two of them talking about the year that had ended and the year that was to come. Listening to them all in a row is really interesting, but I think my favourite is the stuff they recorded on New Year’s 2019/2020, which they aired in two parts in early January 2020. These ones are a bit tough to listen to because they’re full of so much hope for the coming year, and of course we know all of that gets crushed almost immediately. But they both get into really interesting stuff, my favourites being the stuff about friendship and writing books and complicated relationships with the internet and social media. And mental health, all of those episodes get into that.

I’m going to be honest: I could easily have picked Mark Watson’s episodes for my favourite ones of the Taskmaster podcast and the Comedian’s Comedian podcast, but I didn’t because I already had to use his Who Hurt You and Mr. Brightside episodes, and I didn’t want Mark Watson to be 40% of this list. He’s just always so good on podcasts, whether he’s talking about personal stuff or comedy careers or what Hugh Dennis drew on Taskmaster once, because he’s intelligent and thoughtful and insightful. If anyone’s interested, I’ve collected all the Mark Watson podcast episodes I’ve heard into a Google Drive folder. Including all of his Who Hurt You appearances, and while I’ve picked the end-of-2019 ones as my favourites, if you’re going to listen to any of those I highly recommend hearing them all in order, it really rewards that.

9. Tiny Revolutions

Host: Tiff Stevenson

Guest(s): Armando Iannucci

Episode #/Title: 1

Date: 2021-04-06

Here’s what I wrote just after hearing that episode.

Armando Iannucci has made some of my favourite things. The Thick of It is, as I have believed since about 2009, the best TV show ever filmed. In the Loop is way up there with my favourite movies. Veep is absolutely brilliant and deserves every bit of acclaim it gets. On the Hour and The Day Today pretty much re-invented satire and inspired generations that would follow. I recently listened to that self-titled Radio Four show he made seven episodes of in the early 90s and I was amazed at how funny it was. Avenue 5 was... okay, I thought it had a lot of potential that was wasted a bit in season 2 and could have ended stronger with a more coherent plot. But overall it was very good. Death of Stalin was the best use of Michael Palin’s time in ages. The Armando Iannucci Shows are this weird surreal sketch thing he did in 2001 that are ridiculously underrated. All that without even mentioning Alan Partridge.

He also has an interesting story, with a father who ran an anti-fascist newspaper in Italy before fleeing the country for reasons that are related to that, and that obviously influenced Armando’s desire to Make Political Art. I’ve heard a lot of interviews in which Armando Iannucci talks about his background and career influences and how and why he does what he does, but I think this one is my favourite. It covers the whole spectrum of topics, and they touch on all the parts of the story I find most interesting.

10. The Taskmaster podcast

Host: Ed Gamble

Guest(s): Sarah Kendall

Episode #/Title: 74 (discussing Taskmaster s06e07)

Date: 2022-03-31

Sarah Kendall is an absolutely fantastic guest on this podcast, and has been every time she’s appeared. She’s so smart, so analytical, so sharp with her observations. She really knows what she’s talking about when it comes to Taskmaster, her own season and the others. She’s incisive, can point out so many different things with one comment and leave Ed scrambling to keep up.

I think what really elevates this episode in my mind is a couple of things she said that just took apart Russell Howard. To the point where now when I see Russell Howard do anything, the first thing I think of are a couple of the things Sarah Kendall said about him on a podcast once.

Special mentions of other notably strong episodes of this podcast from 2022 go to episodes with Desiree Burch, Dave Gorman, and Mark Watson.

Finally... I’d love to not bring up the John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman Bugle reunion episode, on October 14, 2022, to celebrate the podcast’s fifteenth anniversary. I’d love to say that wasn’t one of the best fucking things I’ve heard this year, to say I didn’t listen to it on a bus, where I both laughed much harder than is appropriate for public transit, and may have sort of almost cried a tiny bit. But I can’t end this post without at least mentioning it. October 13 was my birthday, and this was the best fucking present I could have had.

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powerwash · 5 months

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Fleet Wash Pricing Guide

I made a general pricing blog last week. I now want to go into what I have the heaviest experience in, and that is fleet washing.

Fleet washing has many dynamics on pricing, but I will try to keep this as simple as possible to understand how I price.

The most important things to consider in fleet washing are frequency of cleaning and level of expectation.

Fleets should be cleaned either weekly, bi weekly or monthly. If someone wants you to clean every 2 months, or QUARTERLY. They are not your customers, they are your competitors' customer. Customers who are this cheap are C type customers. Their truck will be the dirtiest, and they want the lowest price.

So my favorites are obviously weekly customers. I give them the best price. Why? Because these trucks stay the CLEANEST and will keep you with a CONSISTENT work schedule. Customers who want weekly cleaning are most of the time an A type customer. Any time you have garbage trucks that are done bi-weekly they fall under B or C type customers. Garbage trucks get insanely dirty fast, and any logical waste company will want them done weekly for the health and safety aspect of their employees. Employees getting sick because of an unclean environment and not coming to work, is a classic example why C customers struggle with operations, and furthermore remain cheap to overcompensate for issues they create in their work environment.

Now the level of expectation is pretty simple, if you have a customer who has 10 year old garbage trucks with a lot of cosmetic damage, you can’t expect to ever make these trucks “look good”, you can only make them “clean”. These are often B and C customers and you need to set the expectation up front you won’t be able to make them look great, when they need a paint job as indicated by all the chipped paint on the hood. Also, let them know about aluminum brightening, if they are expecting it every time, then that boundary needs to be established in the beginning!

So here is a small pricing guide on what I have cleaned and what has worked for me in the Houston market (Note: I have found some markets get more per truck, and some markets get MUCH LESS per truck)

Weekly Fleet (6-10 Trucks)

Garbage Trucks 45$

Vac Trucks 85$

Day Cabs 45$

Sleeper Cabs 50$

53’ Box Trailer 35$

14’ Box Trucks 30$

Weekly Fleet (10-25 Trucks)

Garbage Trucks 40$

Vac Trucks 75$

Day Cabs 40$

Sleeper Cabs 45$

53’ Box Trailer 30$

14’ Box Trucks 25$

Weekly Fleet (25-50 Trucks)

Garbage Trucks 35$

Vac Trucks 65$

Day Cabs 35$

Sleeper Cabs 45$

53’ Box Trailer 25$

14’ Box Trucks 20$

I have never washed for a fleet of more than 50 trucks, so I can’t say much about pricing other than I know it would need to be more aggressive because companies that big can simply buy their own power washer and hire a full time crew to save on cost. You don’t want to service companies with less than 6 trucks.

Do they want Biweekly? Add 5$ on what I have posted here. Is it monthly? Add 10-15$ per truck because they will be EXTREMELY dirty every time you wash them.

Now pricing aluminum brightening is another ball game altogether. What I have found is that on a standard Day Cab, I can charge 20$ and it isn’t a big deal because I am usually just cleaning the fuel tanks. However, on a Vac Truck there is an insanely LARGE amount of aluminum and you will want to be closer to 50$ per truck on aluminum brightening. And on a horse trailer that is dull aluminum you will want to charge well over 150$ for them because of the large amount of aluminum brightener needing to be used.

Also sometimes they will ask you to pop the hood and clean the engine bay. This is an easy task and can range from 10 to 25$ per truck depending on the level of detail they want. Generally its just a degreaser and rinse job.

Now there is a drawback to this, many of these fleets will require you to reclaim your water, if you do the pricing will go up. If they require you drive the trucks on a berm your insurance rates WILL GO UP and you have to account for this. Depending on your market area there will be different regulations and you need to be aware of them before you decide to get into fleet washing. But one thing I can assure you is that if there is a concrete parking lot and the storm drains are not MS4 drains, nationwide it is ILLEGAL to allow water to enter the storm drain per EPA guidelines. And in most instances, allowing the water to enter a public roadway is illegal. In Texas you can be fined for “littering” and it is measured by the weight of the waste. If it exceeds 5 pounds, it is enhanced from a C misdemeanor to a B misdemeanor which graduates from only a fine, to jail time and a fine. If it exceeds 1000 pounds it becomes a felony.

This is not me trying to scare you, this is just the reality of this business and something you need to be aware of.

Ok let’s get back to why you are reading this, pricing.

One thing I have found not to do, is 100% clean the trucks on your first cleaning. Get the trucks 80% clean and set the expectation with the customer. Why do you do this? It is easy for you to 80% clean the truck and see what they will point out to fix and what THEY want done. Remember this is fleet washing, NOT DETAILING. If you DETAIL the truck on the first wash, they will expect it DETAILED every cleaning and this pricing model WILL NOT WORK AT ALL.

If you have a good system with 1 brusher and 1 washer with a hot water 5.5 GPM pressure washer you can clean 5 to 7 garbage trucks per hour. And although there are brushless cleaning methods for trucks like 2 stepping or our 1 step chemical R Soap I the first time you clean a fleet, you will absolutely want to brush them or else you will waste a ton of chemical trying to “go brushless”. I am not going to go into how to properly clean fleets in this blog, but want you to understand you need to factor in cost, labor and TIME.

Time is your worst enemy in fleet washing, so the faster you can clean trucks, the more money you will make.

Another thing you will find is that everyone wants their trucks cleaned on the weekend. One thing we have done is a discount per truck if we can clean on a weekday. But sometimes we ended up having to just wash at night, which we don’t offer a discount on. We found garbage trucks can sometimes be washed on Wednesday. So if you have to shuffle them to Wednesday so you can place another fleet on Sunday or Saturday, DO IT. Fleets that run 24 hours are good and bad. They are bad because you never know how much money you’ll make, but good because you can do them on weekdays if need be.

IMPORTANT NOTE Fleet washing and industrial equipment washing are NOT THE SAME THING. The way you price a crane or dozer is NOT the same as fleet washing. In fact, the only time I will ever tell you to charge by the hour, is when doing a crane or heavy duty industrial piece of equipment because it is almost IMPOSSIBLE to set a price on these, because the level of detail can vary so much.

Conclusion

Make sure when you price washing these trucks you discover how long they take to wash and how much each truck COSTS you to clean. If you can figure those 2 numbers out, pricing these are easy. My pricing may or may not work for your market. I know in Midland Texas people can charge 150$ per truck, where I am at 50$ per truck in Houston. They have an unusual market and it is exactly why I say my pricing is just a benchmark, NOT intended to be duplicated because your market may be entirely different from mine.

I have found some people will get into the industry and charge 20$ per garbage truck, that is about the same as a 100$ driveway (business Model 1). 40$ per garbage truck is like 175$ per driveway (Business Model 2). 65$ per garbage truck is like 300$ per driveway (Business Model 3).

What business Model do you want to be?

That is about the best way I can translate this to you, the reader.

#entrepreneur #fleet washing #power washing #pressure washing #business #pricing

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pcmaticfreescan · 2 years

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metize · 3 years

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Behave.

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Yagami Light/Reader Additional Tags: Reader-Insert, Praise Kink, Yagami Light is Kira, L is reader's brother, but no one's supposed to know, Possessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships, Blackmail, Coercion, Sexual Coercion, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, 'good girl's, AFAB reader - Freeform, Misogyny, Workplace Sex, Desk Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Vaginal Sex, this is filthy, I'm so sorry, Manipulation, Top Yagami Light, Jealousy

A/N: Filth! Absolute dirt! I'm the Trash Man! I come out, I throw trash all over AO3, and then I start eating garbage! Enjoy.

"You seem to get along very well with L."

You could practically feel your heart stop when Light said that. You felt so stupid, of course, this guy would figure it out. You tried your best to look unfazed while you panicked on the inside. The black-haired detective and you were trying to keep it a secret from the task force that you were siblings. You cursed Ryuzaki internally, he had been acting kind of protective towards you and it was bound to raise suspicion.

“You think so? I’ve just been trying to be on good terms with everyone.” You deflected.

The investigation room was empty save for the two of you, there was a single monitor showing the news broadcast reporting on the most recent Kira murder. You focused back on the files you were sorting through. Your older brother never cared much for organizing and that drove you mad. You glanced in Light’s direction again, he was staring at you, his gaze sent shivers down your spine, you just forced an awkward smile.

"Did you let him fuck you yet?" He deadpanned.

"W-What the fuck? Of course not!" You answered abruptly. You were offended that Light would even ask something like that. The crude way he said it too, made you blush in embarrassment. You found it weird he'd say something like that, usually Light was nothing short of a gentleman when addressing you.

"Don't get coy all of a sudden. Just admit you two are fucking already." He sounded annoyed now. He got up and got closer to your desk, his eyes never leaving yours. You sometimes felt intimidated in his presence, now in the middle of the night, alone with him towering over you, this feeling increased tenfold.

"T-that's disgusting! Why are you even saying that? We're just… we're just friends, coworkers who get along, whatever!" You started to crack under the pressure.

Light brows furrowed for a second and then his eyes widened in revelation. A grin formed on his face and he burst into laughter like he had finally gotten the punchline to a joke. His laughter was scary, loud and almost maniacal. You didn't know how to react exactly so you looked at him nervously and confused.

Did he believe you? Did he find the misunderstanding funny? Was that it? You hoped that was it. You offered a weak smile as his laughter died down.

"I was so caught up in this… obsession… this feeling of jealousy… ah. It was obvious all along. You're siblings. Siblings!" He shook his head smiling "This is pathetic. You're becoming such a nuisance with your distraction."

He figured it out, of course it had only been a matter of time. But that realization took way too long for his liking. He was blinded by the rage of the idea of L having you and he didn't stop to consider any other possibilities.

"Excuse me? I didn't-" You got up and started to retort his rude comment.

"Shut the fuck up." And you did so out of shock. Light wasn't like this normally, he was relatively courteous and nice. Why was he so… brutish all of a sudden? He smiled at your obedience. "Good girl."

The praise felt so dirty, you frowned at him. Being infantilized was something you were used to dealing with in the workplace, being surrounded by older men. But Light was pretty much your age, what was he thinking?

You didn't have time to wonder because the man grabbed your collar and pulled you into a kiss.

You tried to push him away instinctively and ask what the fuck he was doing, but Light grabbed your wrists. He held them so tightly it almost marked your skin. Your lips were still closed so he bit them to make you part them. He kissed you aggressively as if he was punishing you for something. his tongue entered your mouth deepening the kiss and claiming your mouth for himself.

He tasted like coffee and sin.

"God, and I thought fucking L's girlfriend was a good idea, this is way better." He sounded extremely amused. "I wonder how is he going to react when he finds out I fucked his pretty little sister?"

Ryuzaki had always had a bad feeling about Light, he mentioned you should be careful around him, you knew all that and here you were. You thought he was being overprotective, to be fair Light wasn't the first guy L had a bad feeling about.

Light's hand was now caressing your hair, smiling content with your current predicament and very proud of himself.

"We… w-we can't." You tried to come up with an excuse. "We work together, so it would be-"

"I am Kira."

You heart stopped when you heard those words. Everything started connections in your head, every lead, every tip, every death. You still had many questions, some things didn't make sense, but as you stood there looking at that man's face it was clear that he wasn't joking.

"W-why are you… telling me this?" You tried to back away slowly. You could hear your heartbeat drumming in your ears.

"Because I feel like keeping you to myself." He smiled sinisterly, every step back you took he stepped forward to approach you again "I was contemplating killing you after pounding your cunt, but I told myself I deserved a little treat."

Hearing him talking about murdering you in cold blood activated your flight instinct immediately. You turned away and rushed towards the door, but as soon as you tried to twist the doorknob and open the door, it was locked. You twisted the knob again and again, desperately trying to unlock it with sheer willpower.

“Stop that, you’re smarter than this.” You heard his voice right against your ear, his hands now grabbing your waist and caressing you through the fabric of your blouse. “There’s only one way you leave this room” he placed a kiss on your neck and you shivered despite yourself “with my cum leaking down your thighs” he grabbed your throat suddenly “and invisibly leashed to me, like a good little pet.”

You were shaking, incredibly aware of Light's bulge pressing against your ass, one hand toying with the hem of your shirt and the other still holding your neck possessively.

"Are we clear, pet?"

You felt his grip tighten a bit so you just quickly nodded your head. It showed to be the wrong answer, because you were punished with a sharp swat to your ass.

"Use your damn words, there's a reason I chose not to gag you." He grabbed your face, forcing you to make eye contact with him. "Say 'Yes, master'."

He was a sick fuck. You wanted to scream at him and call him exactly that. You wanted to push him away and go home already. But god damn it, you wanted to survive this.

"Yes… m-master."

He smiled at your obedience and his grin made you sick to your stomach. He placed a kiss on your temple and pat your hair gently.

"There you go, good girl. That wasn't so hard, was it?" He turned you around quickly and pushed your back against the door. His mouth was on yours again, his hands slipped under your shirt and you shivered feeling his cold touch on your skin. The fabric was restraining his hands so he grew frustrated and started to undress you at once.

"Y-you don't… have to do this, Light. I promise I won't tell anyone, just let me go and-"

"Don't waste your breath. You'll need it when I get to choke you properly…" he answered simply, amused by your perseverance, all the while looking forward to breaking it. "I want to fuck you, so I'm going to do it. I have the whole world in my hands and it's not a little pet that's going to deny me what I want. Understood?"

He tossed your shirt on the floor and started pulling your pencil skirt up. He glared at you for not answering and you promptly spoke up.

"Understood."

He smirked. You felt his fingers trace your slit over your panties, you shuddered and instinctively tried to move away.

"Don't fucking move." His other hand grabbed your waist holding you in place. His tone was harsh and you were so fucking scared.

"Sorry"

"I'm sure you are… Good girl, at least you have manners." He chuckled at that. "Not that your decency matters, look how wet you are for your master…"

He stroked the wet fabric to emphasize his point and you tried to hold back a moan, but it was useless. It felt good, of course it felt good. Light was a hot guy, he obviously knew his way around someone's body and you were only human. His lips captured yours again and he kept playing with your clothed sex as you made out. You could swear you were going insane, the pleasure of his hands on you was intoxicating and his mouth on yours had you gasping for air.

"Get on your knees. Now."

You needed to survive this, you needed to be useful to him. The way he ordered you around did excite you but you needed to stay focused. You were not supposed to feel good, you were supposed to find a way out of this situation.

For now that meant kneeling before Light as he pulled out his cock for you.

You gulped as you eyed him, of course Light Yagami had a big dick, you had to have suspected it. But now you had to give him head and you knew very well he wasn't going to go easy on you. He saw your hesitation and scoffed in amusement.

"Go ahead pet, you want to prove to me you're worth keeping around don't you?" He smiled devilishly at you.

"Yes, master." You murmured and licked your lips. You could do this. And, in a weird way, you kind of wanted to do this, you wanted him to praise you more, to call you a good girl again… you repressed the thought. This is disgusting, Light is disgusting and a murderer. You were strong you won’t fall for his games.

You grabbed his cock by its base and started to gently suck the tip. You looked up at him before taking the whole shaft into your mouth. You sucked him off to the best of your, limited, abilities, trying to get him deeper with each bob of your head. Maybe if he came in your mouth he wouldn’t touch you further, maybe he’d let you go.

Your hopeful thoughts are interrupted by the man’s hand grabbing your hair forcefully, you looked at him and he was grinning like the maniac he was.

“Sit still, let me use your throat a little bit.” His voice was unshaken. You felt a bit annoyed he didn’t seem phased by your efforts. You didn’t have time to dwindle on that feeling because Light was grabbing your face and fucking your mouth as soon as he finished his phrase.

His pace was unrelenting and you felt your spit dribbling down your chin, you tried to breathe in small intervals and you could see him laugh at your predicament. You felt rage but he slowed down his thrusts and started petting your head. Like a kid. Like a pet.

“That’s a good girl, such an obedient little pet…” he breathed and pulled out “Bend over your desk for me.”

Fuck. You were out of breath, you could only nod and do as he said. You didn’t even think of disobeying his order, he praised you again, you were doing a good job… You got up and rested your torso on the desk. He was going to fuck you. Light was Kira and he was blackmailing you into submission. This was an absolute nightmare. So why the fuck were you so turned on?

“You know where you belong, don’t you, pet?” You felt his presence behind you and he pulled down your panties. “Not above anyone, not next to your brother… Not even by my side.” He pulled your hair and you yelped despite yourself “You belong under me.”

He entered you forcefully and you couldn’t help but moan loudly at the intrusion, he didn’t prepare you with his fingers, he didn’t touch you properly at all, it hurt and he knew. But he didn’t give a fuck.

“You should be grateful to your master, whore.” His hand reached around your neck his grip making you gasp. “Tell me you can be obedient.”

“I can!” You cried and you felt his other hand reach between your legs to press your sensitive bud.

“You think you can be useful? Do you think you deserve to live to serve your master?” His thrusts were getting harsher and he groaned “Do you?!”

“Yes, master, please, master!” You begged. To cum, to live, anything. Light held your life in his hands and you were so scared, but so turned on.

“You better....” He grunted and kept on rubbing your clit “I fucking own you. I’m going to cum inside you, going to make you my breeding bitch.”

Oh no. That wasn’t good. That was a bad idea.

“N-no… please not inside” You heard him laugh at your resistance.

“Then tell me… tell me his name.” His name? Fuck. Ryuzaki.

You couldn’t tell him his name. Was he going to kill you if you didn’t? You couldn’t do it. You sobbed and grasped his arm in fear.

“No, I can’t, I can’t!” You cried out shaking your head. The pleasure was overwhelming and you came on his fingers screaming. “I can’t! Ah!”

You saw stars, Light never stopped pounding you as he laughed maniacally at your desperation.

“Know your fucking place… useless cunt.... Fuck-” His laughter died down and he pulled you closer as he came inside you.

You felt his spent dripping down your pussy, you trembled both from the orgasm and from fear of what came next. Light pulled out and turned you around, smiling amused at your scared face.

“Don’t worry, pet, of course I wasn’t counting on a dumb slut like you telling me this information…” He pat your head and you stood there with tears rolling down your face “You’re beneath me, I don’t need you, I don’t need your help. I’ll find out eventually.” He chuckled and wiped away your tears “But I do know your name. So you better behave.” He kissed your forehead. “Won’t you, pet?”

#smut fic #x reader #light yagami x reader #light yagami x y/n #light yagami x you #light yagami smut #light yagami imagine #light yagami headcanons

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zenmastercharles · 3 years

Text

To Fight A Class

Marinette had been different ever since Lila Rossi came back from her trip to Achu. Her falsified trip to Achu. Lila lied about almost everything, and Marinette’s class ate it up like chocolate. Marinette tried to call Lila out on her lies, however, Lila used every word Marinette spoke and turned it against the bluenette. And her class believed her! Even to the point where they stopped being her friends.

Lila made up tales about how Marinette would confront her in the bathroom and threaten her, send her mean texts (which she backed up with fake text screenshots), and she even lied about Marinette physically attacking her when she was alone. However, Lila decided to kick Marinette when she was already down.

Lila created a fake text number and texted another fake number posing as Marinette and her cousin. Lila, using Marinette’s identity, ranted about how stupid her class was, how she was playing them from the start, going into extensive detail about how their dreams would never become true and how dumb they all were. After Lila showed the class this fake conversation, they decided to confront her. They berated her when she got to the classroom.

Marinette denied everything, and this made the entire class angry. It made Alix so mad she actually hit Marinette, resulting in a suspension for both girls. Marinette was sad about losing all of her friends. And was almost akumatized 6 times in a single month, only being saved because of Tikki and Plagg fighting off the akumas. Marinette was now a social pariah. Her former friends started to bully her, trip her up, pour liquids on her sketchbook, and even berated her from time to time.

They truly believed that Marinette was a bully, and that hurt her. It hurt her so bad. Adrien still told her to take the moral high ground, that Lila’s lies weren’t hurting anybody, and let Lila realize that her lies are bad on her own. Adrien didn’t realize that Marinette’s lies were hurting her. One time, Marinette yelled at Lila about her lies, and a yelling battle broke out between Marinette and most of her class, Adrien standing by.

Afterwards, Adrien came up to her and actually berated her and said he was disappointed in her. Marinette berated him back, said something along the lines of ‘I can’t believe I used to like you’, and told him to talk to her when he’s found a way to remove to stupid stick from his ass. Adrien still didn’t realize that he had no right to be disappointed in her, and still tried to talk to her. He eventually gave up, and said to Plagg, word for word, that Marinette was now ‘unsaveable’. It was that moment when Plagg started to change his opinion on his holder.

Things weren’t getting better in her superhero form either. Chat Noir had become even more flirting. To the point where Ladybug occasionally berated him for being so flirty and not concentrating on the battle. One time, when Ladybug berated him in the middle of a fight, Chat decided to be petty. Chat left the fight, leaving Ladybug to fight all by herself. Plagg pleaded with Adrien to go back into the fight, but Adrien thought it would be okay, right?

Wrong, the villain almost killed Marinette’s parents. After that, Ladybug and Chat Noir’s relationship became distant. Chat Noir continued to be flirty, but Ladybug acted like he didn’t exist. One day, during a fight, Chat Noir turned up the flirt and wasn’t even helping Ladybug. After the akuma was defeated, Ladybug berated him and told him to stop acting like this. This was all recorded. The media exploded in outrage and conflict. On one side, people were acting lenient and defending Chat, and the other side was full-on roasting him. This saddened Adrien, who acted like he was the victim here. It was at that moment where Plagg decided that Adrien Agreste was no longer worthy to be his holder. Marinette had been at an all time low in both of her lives.

And guess what? BUSTIER STILL EXPECTED HER TO BE AN EXAMPLE. Whenever there was an altercation, Ms. Bustier spat out some random bullshit about being a good example for the students, and being a good class representative. Marinette was still obligated to plan fundraisers, school trips, and events. She couldn’t take it anymore, and considered taking her own life. Instead, she quit being class representative and moved to Ms. Mendeliev’s class. Ms. Bustier tried to convince her to stay, but the class was adamant that they didn’t need a bully like her as their class representative. That was indeed false.

Max was the smartest kid in the class, just barely getting above Marinette, so they elected him to class president. They planned a bake sale fundraiser, and thought of everything, except the fact that Marinette always baked 70% of all the baked goods. They were convinced that they didn’t need her, so they just bought a bunch of baked goods. Some of them tried to buy from Marinette’s bakery, and were promptly told to leave.

So, their fundraiser started, and was garbage. Most of the customers at the bake sale didn’t like what the class had brought and thought they were wildly overpriced for being store bought. Lila lied and said hers was homemade. In the end, they raised just 50 dollars. The class was kind of low about this, but were still convinced that Marinette was a bully that was unwanted and unneeded. Speaking of the blue-haired designer.

When she switched to Ms. Mendeliev’s class, the class was worried. They knew Lila lied and had turned the entire class into sheep, and thought Marinette was some sort of spy. But when they learned the full story, they comforted her. However, there were 5 students in the class who were absolutely furious about how Marinette’s old class had betrayed her. Aurore Beauréal, Roman Reyes, Mireille Caquet, Marc Anciel, and Jeanne Lémery.

These 5 students walked up to the Akuma Class during lunchtime and absolutely laid into them about how they’ve treated Marinette. Of course, they defend themselves and Lila busts out the crocodile tears. This ends in a physical dispute between Jeanne and Alix, which ended with another suspension. Marinette’s new friends started to mold her into the helpful, confident, and kind girl she was before Lila told all those fibs about her.

She brought pastries in for everyone, even Ms. Mendeliev, and Ms. Mendeliev soon grew to be her favorite teacher. Her new best friends were still furious and wanted to take the Akuma Class down. HARD. Marinette denied this action because she didn’t want to be involved with them again, but when she saw Mylene make a friendship charm for Lila, she quickly agreed and revealed that she had a trump card named Chloé Bourgeois.

Over the time where Lila was taking over the class, Chloe knew she was lying. She even called her out on it once. That was obviously a mistake. Lila spread even more lies about Chloe being mean to her. She said that Chloe paid people to wreck her windows and even wrecked her windows as “proof”. This caused the class to exile Chloe as well, which Chloe didn’t care about.

But what Chloe did care about was that Lila took Sabrina away from her. The class knew that Chloe was a bully, so it wasn’t hard for them to believe that Chloe did it. Sabrina started slightly threatening her by saying things like ‘People don’t want bullies as friends’ and ‘You can’t use your money to threaten people’. When the class confronted her about being mean to Lila, she didn’t want to take it anymore and went to leave.

She noticed Sabrina didn’t come with her. She called to Sabrina, who simply said ‘I don’t want to be friends with a bully.’ This broke Chloe’s heart and caused her to be akumatized into the Princess Dignity, who tried her best to get to Lila and force her to reveal her lies. Ladybug considered letting her hit Lila with her Blasts of Truth, but eventually overcame it and defeated Princess Dignity. Marinette heard about it and went to go look for Chloe.

She found her crying in an alleyway, where she thought no one would see her. Marinette consoled the blond, who tried to deny any feelings at first, but she eventually caved. She told Marinette about everything, and even admitted she had started liking Sabrina as more than a friend. Marinette and Chloe actually bonded over this, eventually losing hope that their crushes will ever come out of the darkness. (Marinette’s being Adrien, Chloe’s being Sabrina.)

After Marinette introduced Chloe to her new friends and told her about their plan, the blond was all in. Chloe put on an act and apologized to the class. They accepted the apology, Lila actually hugged Chloe, and Ms. Bustier was so proud that she gave Chloe a present. The group had a plan, a rather unnecessarily complicated one, but a plan it was.

They basically turned their fingers into metaphorical shovels and digged up dirt on everyone in that class, including the teacher. What they got was a gold mine of dirt.

They created a 40 minute video demonstrating all of Lila’s lies being disproved, and for the other half was recordings about the Akuma Class talking bad about each other and even some secrets that they had mentioned to themselves thinking they were alone. Her friends were ready to post it everywhere, but Marinette wanted to give them one last chance.

Her birthday was coming up and she was planning a party. She was going to invite her class. If they said yes, she would go small. If they said no, she would go BIG. When Roman passed out the invitation slips, the entire Akuma Class walked up to her table, insulted her, ripped all of their invitation slips and half, and threw them on Marinette’s table.

Marinette shed a single tear, before releasing a convoluting smirk. Any smirk Chloe gave would pale in comparison to the smugness in Marinette’s smirk. A smirk that made Lila Rossi a bit scared. Marinette replied with a simple, “Alright. Your loss.” They could hear the uncaringness in her voice. They expected begging, crying, and apologies. Not uncaringness.

Two months later, the Akuma Class walked into school, confused. Everyone was talking about a party hosted by Marinette. They were suspicious and checked Marinette’s social media accounts and saw that 67 pictures were taken and posted by Marinette on the night of her birthday. She had met so many celebrities. Mostly because Jagged Stone was her step-uncle, but she had some connections of her own.

She had designed dresses for Taylor Swift, Gigi Hadid, Billie Eilish (i probably spelled that wrong), and many other artists and models under the identity of MDC. No one knew that it was her, except for her new friends of course, who she told a bit after they became friends. Marientte decided to reveal herself, and people were shocked that it was just a 14 year old girl.

Especially the Avengers, who she had handsewn suits and dresses for once. This was Marinette’s plan, to make her friends regret not showing up and meeting celebrities. However, thanks to a light good luck charm placed on Marinette by Tikki, her plan took an unexpected turn for the better.

Each of the class’s Idols showed up, Lois Lane (Alya’s Idol), Marshmallow (Nino’s Idol), Tony Hawk (Alix’s Idol), Daisy Ridley (Adrien’s Idol), and so many more. Nathaniel was especially hurt when his favorite idol showed up in the picture reel. When Marinette returned, the class berated her once more about how she should have invited them and how some of them could have met their idols and gotten sponsorships.

She then reminds them that she did invite them. They remembered what they did and looked a bit less confident. They still tried to retort and say that she should have told them that she was inviting their idols. She says that she didn’t, that Jagged invited them, they were still mad, but not as mad as they would be at the end of the day. Just as school was about to end, a video was sent to everyone’s phones in Francois Dupont, even some outside of school.

The first 20 minutes were discrediting every lie Lila told. Lila tried to refute it when she saw it, but there was no way to discredit cold hard evidence. The next 20 minutes were revealing secrets, insults, and lies that the class had kept from each other way before Lila even showed her face. Nino stealing from his competition, Alix cheating in multiple races, Kim insulting a lot of his classmates and cheating, Max not even being the one who built Markov, Mylene shown not to be happy in her relationship with Ivan and even ranting about the poor brute, Alya being racist to a dude who had happened to see Ladybug detransform and wouldn’t tell her anything, and so much more. The only ones who had no dirt to dig up were Ivan, Juleka, and Rose, who were relieved.

However, then something unexpected popped up on everyone’s phone screens. A little 6 minute video revealing Adrien to be Chat Noir, posted by Jeanne with the permission from Marinette. It also showed how hostile and petty Chat Noir had been to Ladybug all because she wouldn’t date him. This made people hate Adrien and Gabriel even berated his son for ruining his reputation.

Adrien was about to go take it out on Marinette, but didn’t expect to be swarmed by a bunch of Kwamis. They stole his ring off of him and flew off, with Plagg stating that Adrien was no longer fit to be Chat Noir before following the rest of the Kwamis. This made Adrien extremely sad, but instead of Hawkmoth akumatized him first, he turned Adrien to the side of evil. Hawkmoth revealed himself as Gabriel and managed to convince Adrien to become evil. He gave him the fixed Peacock Miraculous and Adrien became a recurring villain to Ladybug. However, Ladybug had a new team.

Ladybug decided to give Miraculouses to the friends she knew would always be on her side. She gave Roman the Cat Miraculous, Aurore the Rooster Miraculous, Mirelle the Mouse Miraculous, Kagami the Dragon Miraculous, Luka the Snake Miraculous, and Jeanne the Ox Miraculous. She even gave Chloe the Horse Miraculous so that she wouldn’t have to worry about the secret identity thing again. After a few months of Adrien terrorizing the city as Feather Rouge, they finally defeated him, they threw his ass in jail along with his father and his assistant.

Her class, after seeing the video, started fighting amongst themselves, eventually escalating to an every man for himself brawl in the classroom. Every student in the class was suspended, but with the video, they had enough expenses expelled. They all decided to blame Lila AND Marinette for this. They went to confront Marinette, even though they all hated each other. Only to meet a badass, angry, pizza stick weilding Chinese mother who told them to fuck off (she didn’t say “fuck off” literally, but they could tell that they should by her tone of voice).

They eventually got to Marinette, and tried to berate her again. However, her real friends were there to defend her and scare her former friends off. Marinette thanked them and was grateful to have real friends.

(This is the first fic I’ve ever written. I wrote it in like an hour. I was rushing. I’m sorry if it’s bad.)

#ml salt fic #ml salt #miraculous ladybug #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #sparing nobody #EVERYONE GETS DESTROYED #lila salt #ml class #i wanted to include more #but I got lazy #i need to work on that

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whumpurr · 3 years

Text

Adrien and Sawdust part 5

masterlist

cw: descriptions of an emaciated body, disordered eating, pet whump, it as a pronoun, dehumanization, conditioned whumpee

Adrien swore he’d never moved so fast in his life. The second he saw Sawdust’s bony body tip over, he was running up the stairs to meet him. The instant he got to the second floor, he was dropping to his knees with a heavy thud, and properly touching Sawdust for the first time. He carefully lifted his face, seeing Sawdust’s eyes still open- though hardly.

The pet looked to be in worse condition than he was when Adrien had first gotten him. His skin was even paler, stretched thinner across rigid bones, his face was more sunken, the only color on it being the thick scratched scar across his nose bridge, and the deep rings under his eyes. He felt chilled. Adrien maneuvered his body like it was nothing, putting Sawdust’s head and torso to rest elevated on top of his folded legs.

“What’s wrong, Sawdust?” Adrien muttered just loud enough for the pet to hear. He was at a loss, he thought that everything was okay.

“‘M sorry, Master,” Sawdust whimpered, turning his head so he could look away from Adrien. “Need food, please, I’m- I’m sorry.” His voice was hardly a wheeze, but at least he seemed strong enough to move, so Adrien wouldn’t need to rush him to the hospital right that second. Sawdust’s words only came out in rough little squeaks and hiccups, tears gathering in his eyes. He looked terrified. “Food for- for dogs, please. If- if Master w- uh- Master may do whatever he wants but- pet- but- need-”

“Shit, okay, will you be okay if I leave you here to go get it? It’s just in the kitchen, I’ll be right over there.” Adrien was horrified and disgusted with himself as he looked down at Sawdust’s hollow figure. The tattered, oversized t-shirt he had come with was draped across his body, and with his head in Adrien’s lap and chest upturned, Adrien could see the thin fabric catch on the ridges of Sawdust’s ribs, pooling in the dip of his stomach, raised up by the ranges of his hip bones. Adrien handled him like glass, moving him off of his lap before standing and running down to the kitchen, nearly slamming his foot into the corner of his counter with his speed and recklessness.

He’d never been more grateful that he bought the dog food. He grabbed it out of the plastic grocery bag it still sat in on the counter and sliced the top of the bag with a knife, filling a bowl with it and- resigned to the situation- he poured some water into a bowl to go with it. He carried the two bowls up to Sawdust, putting them on the floor and pushing them towards the skeletal figure of his pet.

It looked like it took Sawdust considerable effort to roll himself from his back onto his elbows and knees, but he managed it and immediately dove into eating the chow out of the bowl without so much as a second thought. Adrien couldn’t help but feel like he shouldn’t be watching this. Like it was some sort of invasion to see Sawdust wolfing down his food in such a manner, but Adrien felt like if he took his eyes off him for a second, something terrible would happen.

Sawdust had never been more scared than when he saw Master racing up the stairs. He continued to break records of fear when he confessed, begging Master to give him something he could eat. He knew that if Master wanted to, he could deny him that, too. Sawdust was never more aware of that fact than when he asked for something to eat, but Master was merciful today. He brought him some chow.

Sawdust didn’t pause to think about whether or not the food could be poisoned, or if it would make him sick or kill him. Going that way, or not eating, it would have been death either way. Regardless of that, if Master saw fit for such things, as much as it made Sawdust want to cry, he would simply have to accept it. So he ate. He ate until the bowl was empty and he felt nearly sick, and he even drank after that.

Master would make him pay for this at some point, he was sure, but for now he could focus on his full stomach. He pulled back from the water bowl gasping, liquid dripping from his lips and chin. With his hunger sated, all he could think about was how tired he was. He didn’t care that Master was right there, and that he’d certainly hurt Sawdust soon. The dumb mutt couldn’t find the energy in him to do much about it as he laid down on the floor, curling up to sleep.

“S-Sorry, Master, pet is- is tired. Sleepy.” Sawdust murmured. “Please forgive it.”

“That’s okay, that’s okay baby.” Master was quiet. It made Sawdust confused, the way Master’s voice broke with his words. But the pet didn’t have the energy to think on it for very long, just nodding against the floor and letting his eyes shut.

Adrien was not going to let Sawdust sleep on the floor of the corridor. The second Sawdust was asleep, he took the pet’s dog ears off and undid the tail, setting those aside before he scooped him up in his arms and pushed Sawdust’s bedroom door open with his back, stepping in.

The room smelled of rot and spoil. Adrien muttered an expletive under his breath as looked around. Everything was as undisturbed as it had been when he first gave Sawdust the room, save for one corner that had some puddles of water sitting on the floor. He sat Sawdust down on the bed, pinching his nose. There was no way the pet smelled this bad when he got him.

He got to work looking for the source of the scent, thinking that an animal had found its way into the room or ceiling and died, but that was far from what he found. It took a few minutes of checking behind the wardrobes and dressers before looking under the bed, lifting the bedskirt only to be buffeted by the foul odour. Hidden underneath the bed was a pile of food scraps, composed of everything he’d been feeding Sawdust. Every piece of food that was missing from Sawdust’s plates was underneath his bed.

Adrien was never someone who was grossed out by things easily, but the sheer smell of the food was nothing short of disgusting. Regardless, he still had to get the room to a condition where Sawdust would actually be able to sleep in it, so with the help of a dust pan to use like a shovel, he dumped the remnants of the food into a garbage bag and tied it shut. He was at a loss for how the pet could have been tolerating this the whole time. He went through the room with a bit of air freshener, trying to solve the problem before he pushed a mop around under the bed.

With the room in a far better condition, he glanced over to Sawdust. The pet was still sleeping soundly, in near the exact same position that Adrien had left him in. Adrien took the edge of the blanket, folding one side over Sawdust’s frail body in hopes that it’d keep him warmer. Sawdust wasn’t disturbed at all when Adrien put the blanket over him, and he continued to sleep as Adrien started working to make the room more comfortable for the pet.

Once he got to see the room, it didn’t take him long at all to put together that Sawdust hadn’t been sleeping on the bed, and that he was sleeping in the corner that all the water was splashed around. Adrien mopped that up and swung by his linen closet, bringing every extra blanket and pillow he had and tossing them into the corner before arranging them in the most nest-like formation he could.

He wasn’t about to leave the pet unattended, not after an occurrence like that. Adrien grabbed his laptop and sat down in the seat in the other corner of the room, remembering just how uncomfortable the guest room’s furniture was, and why it was in this room and not being used in the living room. Disregarding that, he opened his laptop and kept himself busy.

When Sawdust opened his eyes the room was dim and he immediately froze up. The only source of light was warm and coming from one of the corners. Reluctantly, Sawdust sat up, body stiff. Master was sitting in the chair at the corner with a tall lamp on next to him. He looked like he was asleep, but the second Sawdust sat up, Master was awake again.

The very next thing Sawdust realized- not that he had the capacity to care much about it considering he was surely about to be punished within an inch of his life- was the new smell in the room. The old smell wasn’t good, but this new one was giving him a pounding headache. It was far too strong, but that was the least of his worries as he found himself a deer in headlights under his Master’s stare.

“Hey, Sawdust,” Master shifted a little. His voice was low and rough. “Damn, what time’s it?” He squinted at his phone in the dim light. Sawdust clenched his jaw shut, trying to stop any fear from showing on his face, but from Master’s wide eyes, he obviously wasn’t doing that good a job.

“Sorry, Master,” Sawdust whimpered, trembling under the covers. “I- didn’t- it- it-” His eyes darted all over the room and Master got up, walking over to him and sitting at the bottom of the bed.

“You weren’t eating the food?” Master asked, tilting his head. His long hair fell over his shoulder. Sawdust wasn’t ever good at figuring out what somebody really meant with their words, but Master’s tone was steady. He didn’t sound angry, and that made it worse. The punishment would be worse. Sawdust waited for the screaming to start, but all that stretching out through the room was a deafening silence.

“I just want to know why, Sawdust. I didn’t know you weren’t eating.” Master asked. Sawdust reached up to fiddle with his hair, only to realize another thing that was amiss. His ears were gone. His whole body stung with that realization, and he glanced around the room, not seeing them. His tail was also missing and he couldn’t spot them anywhere. Still, Master asked a question and he had to answer.

“Can only eat dog- dog food. Dogs eat dog food.” Sawdust said, flinching and getting ready for when the blows would come.

“Dog-” Master started before sighing. “Okay.” He dragged his hands down his face. “I found that paper with the rules on it. I don’t want to do this and I didn’t think I’d have to, but I have some rules for you, too.”

Adrien didn’t miss the way Sawdust perked up at the mention of rules. It made him sick, but he had to press on now that he said it.

“Three meals a day, with me, downstairs.” Adrien tried his best to sound firm in what he was saying, attempting to walk the line between stern and intimidating. “I’ll come get you when it’s time to eat.”

“Is that all, Master?” Sawdust responded. That sounded rehearsed to hell and back, but more confident and solid than anything else Adrien had heard him say before.

“This room’s yours, treat it as such.” Adrien gestured with an outstretched arm, “The bed’s yours, I put some stuff in the corner if you’d rather stay there.”

“Is that all, Master?” Again. Adrien knew there was probably more he should tell Sawdust, but he was blanking.

“For now, yes. If I think of more things I’ll tell you.” The bed shifted with the movement of Adrien standing up. “Try to get some sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turned off the lamp, gathered his laptop, and left, shutting the door behind him as softly as he could.

The second he stepped into his bedroom, he sat down on his bed and ran his fingers through his hair, that familiar, heated upset rising through his body. Sawdust was someone he took into his care and he let him get to such a state. Adrien was disgusted, and thoroughly disappointed with himself. He was in over his head, and he didn’t know what to do.

Night passed slowly for the both of them.

taglist: @starnight-whump @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi@neuro-whump @whump-me-all-night-long @cupcakes-and-pain @whumpzone @whumpcreations @dancinglifeboat @pinkraindropsfell @looptheloup @cowboy-anon @meetmeinhellcroutons @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @firewheeesky

#pet whump #whumpblr #whump blog #whump writing #whump #whump ocs #whump recovery #whumpee #caretaker #whump community #adrien and sawdust

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sortasirius · 4 years

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“Inherit the Earth” and the Fakeout

Absolutely genius. Amazing, iconic, legendary, something only our showrunner Andrew Dabb can pull off.

"But Lilly, the episode was so bad! It was just the brothers, they didn’t look for Cas and Eileen!”

YES. THAT IS EXACTLY THE POINT. THIS WAS A FAKE ENDING, THE END OF THE SEASON, NOT OF THE SERIES.

Let’s get into it.

An empty world. No one left but Sam, Dean, and Jack.

So Dean ran, he somehow managed to pick himself up off the floor of the dungeon and meet up with Sam and Jack. That jacket was this silent reminder. Remember what I’ve been saying, Cas has occupied the negative space all season, this is no exception.

Dean can’t look either of them in the face, he’s doing that thing, where his eyes move everywhere BUT where he should look.

“I couldn’t save anybody.”

Sam couldn’t save the world and Dean couldn’t save the one person that means the world to him.

“Where’s Cas?”

“Dean?”

I think it’s there, in that pause where Dean tries to push down the emotions, continue the fight, not think about the memories he left in the bunker, that Jack realizes what must have happened. Jack is the only one that knows about the deal, he has to know what Cas not being there must mean.

“He saved me. Billie was coming after us. Cas summoned the Empty. It took her...and took him. Cas is gone.”

This may shock you, but I am GLAD they didn’t talk about Cas, especially with what happens at the end of the episode. Cas is allowed to just take up unsaid space. It’s obvious he’s missing with the way they blocked things, obvious he’s missing here. This whole “oh well they don’t care about Cas because they didn’t talk about him”? Malarkey.

“Jack I’m sorry.”

Guilt. Regret. Pain. Dean will carry this with him for the rest of his life. Not only that he lost Cas, but that Sam lost Cas, that Jack lost Cas.

That SHOT, with the distance between Jack and Sam where Cas is SUPPOSED TO BE, and then a zoom out to...THE WORLD.

Okay, as usual, Bucklemming has the subtlety of a sledgehammer lmao.

Jack crying??? Praying to Cas???? Bruh?????

Also it’s just straight-up frightening for everything around my boy to die he is my baby son.

Also not to point out the incredibly obvious, but Dean starts drinking immediately, and continues drinking throughout the whole episode. Grief arc 2.0 babey.

“We can what, Dean? There’s no one left to save! Everybody’s gone!”

“You can’t just give up.”

“What other choice do we have!”

Idk why, but for Sam, who’s the constant, the one who’s always had hope, through everything, through all these years, when he finally says this, when he finally loses his hope? It hits the hardest. Sam is the leader, so not only is he grieving the loss of Eileen, he is a general grieving the loss of his soldiers, his friends, the world that he feels the duty to save.

When they go to meet Chuck, I just can’t get that image of Dean, leaning against the car, handprint still on his jacket, staring at the ground out of my head. It takes him a few seconds to catch up to Sam, like he’s pulled out of thoughts like deep dark water. Remember friends, it doesn’t have to be loud to be powerful.

Chuck wearing BLACK? FEAR.

“That’s right, the whole Cain and Abel thing. Us dead, whatever. I’ll kill Sam, Sam’ll kill me, we’ll kill each other. Okay, you pick. But first? You gotta put everything back the way it was. The people, the birds...Cas. You gotta bring him back.”

Willing to kill his brother. Willing to die. Tears in his eyes, begging God to bring Cas back.

And Chuck? Chuck doesn’t care about their surrender, he knows he’s already got them beaten. He cares about their pain, he cares about them suffering, because to him? That’s the entertainment. He’s not entertained by their found family, by their happiness, by their joy. He wants them to suffer, all of them.

“Eternal shame. Suffering. And loneliness.”

And he leaves them with just that. No hope, no family, just the three of them, broken, alone. Jack locked in his bedroom, Sam trying desperately to make life “normal” again. And Dean. Dean who drank so much he passed out on the floor.

He doesn’t feel terrific, he feels like shit, because not only is he dealing with the shame of an empty planet, he’s dealing with the guilt of being back in the place where the Empty took Cas.

This whole thing with the dog was just absolutely heartwrenching shit and if I didn’t hate Chuck before, him snapping Miracle right in front of an already fragile Dean would seal that deal.

I just want everyone to know that this is a Jake Abel stan account.

“Daddy’s boy” is a big insult for my boy Dean to use considering his own past with his trash abusive father but I’ll allow it.

I do think it’s interesting, ending of his arc aside, that Michael is willing to help them now. What changed? Sure, he ended up trying to help Chuck, running back to his father, but why get back in the game? I wonder if it has anything to do with the loss of Adam. It’s an interesting parallel, a man loses his angel while an angel loses his human.

Everything is so DARK in the Bunker now too, even the lighting is loud.

When I tell you I lost my shit when I saw Cas was calling Dean, when I heard Misha’s voice?? I knew it didn’t make any sense but I didn’t care, I would’ve been one step behind Dean as he sprinted towards the door.

Fuck you, Eugenie.

I mean it’s torture not only to Dean, who looks beyond fucking crushed when it’s damn Lucifer at the door, but for us too. Who the FUCK wanted Lucifer back? And to tease Cas??? Garbage.

I mean...fam. Listen, we know who’s writing this episode, this whole Betty thing is just like blatantly unnecessary but again, Eugenie loves Lucifer, gotta distract her with a shiny toy lmao.

It was cool to see Michael and Lucifer onscreen together. It was a cool dynamic that we rarely got to see.

The whole episode is just twist after twist. Listen, it’s their last episode so I guess they needed to fit in a season worth of twists in one episode.

Bye Lucifer. We know Eugenie can’t bring him back. Blessings to all.

This scene with Adam is the FOURTH scene where Dean is drinking...big yikes to my guy’s liver.

Here’s the thing about Michael. He’s a mirror for Dean in season 5. Loyal to an absent father. He has never changed, but Dean has. Dean is able to acknowledge now, the trauma that his father put him through, he was able to move past the need for pleasing him at any cost. Michael and Chuck? Are John and Dean, if Dean had never been allowed to grow. And Chuck proves, like John did, that he would always put his wants (in John’s case “the mission”) over his children.

Also not to beat a dead horse but Michael’s death was also peak Eugenie.

Sam getting to punch Chuck in the face? Thank you, he deserves that.

Obviously I don’t love any scene of my boys getting brutally beaten. But what I love, what I will always love about them, is what Chuck hates about them: they won’t ever give up. They know they won’t win against him, they don’t even land any hits, but that’s not what matters. What matters is their controller doesn’t control them anymore, that they really are free. No matter how hard they get hit, the get back up. It is their choice to stand up to him, no matter the cost.

The moment where Sam and Dean are supporting each other, covered in blood, and they look God in the face, and they laugh. That is why I will love them unconditionally for the rest of my life. That is who they are, they will never cow to the villain, whether that’s Azazel or Alastair or Zachariah or Lucifer or Amara or Death or Metatron or Cain or God. They will always choose to stand up.

“Why are you smiling?”

“Because. You lose.”

Chills. What a line.

And Chuck is left, small, human, no longer a villain, no longer anything.

Gotta be real, woulda been nice to, idk, not see all this essential plot in a flashback, but I know I can only ask so much of Bucklemming.

For Dean to walk away from killing Chuck, right after he’s called him “the ultimate killer” is quite simply the most beautifully heartwrenching thing I could ever ask for. Because that’s who Dean was under Chuck, that’s who Chuck wanted him to be.

And he would have before:

But he’s heard some things since then, heard some things about how others see him. Not as the killer, not as a monster, not as angry and broken or his daddy’s blunt instrument:

I’m not saying that Dean doesn’t kill Chuck for Cas. He doesn’t kill Chuck because he doesn’t think he has to anymore, he doesn’t kill Chuck because he listened to Cas, he took Cas’ words to heart. He made the choice not to be the killer.

“See that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are.”

And Chuck is angry, because he thought, after everything, even after losing, that he would still know Dean well enough to know that he would kill him. But Chuck has never really known Dean, he has never understood where he’s really come from. Cas understood, Sam and Jack understand, but Chuck never did, and writing off Dean as angry and broken is his biggest mistake, because that’s never been Dean.

“It’s not his power anymore.”

And it’s not just his physical power, it’s his power over the story, over the boys that’s the real power taken from him.

For Jack to be the one to bring everyone back, for him to be the hero of the story? That’s poetic right there. Now, I will say, I don’t think this story ends with him as God, because for him, the child, to take on this burden, it doesn’t make a ton of sense to me for his arc, but we shall see next week. It felt pretty tied up, but there’s one major loose end: and that’s Jack seeing Cas again.

“Just you and me, going wherever the story takes us. Just us.”

“Finally free.”

This doesn’t feel triumphant to me, it doesn’t feel like relief. It feels like they’ve settled, like this is the best they’re going to get, so they might as well make the best of it, at least they have each other.

For Cas and Jack to be carved into the table? I cry.

And for the montage, very similar to “Swan Song” to be set to “Runnin on Empty”? Sorry but that’s just too sus to be ignored.

They packaged this episode as an ending, because for many, it might be. The season’s story, the season about fighting Chuck is over. So, you might be asking (or, well, screaming, judging by my replies lol), what’s left? And that’s a good question, Chuck has been defeated, so what is left? What’s left is what’s really mattered all season: the relationships that have been crafted over the years. Dean and Sam’s unhappiness at the end of the episode, where “just you and me” sounded more of a grudging acceptance than anything else, is one of the clues that has to be looked at. Why didn’t Sam find Eileen, why didn’t Jack bring back Cas? Those two characters specifically are the ones we need to watch out for. As I’ve said over and over again, peace, contentment, satisfaction, those don’t come from Sam and Dean on the open road together anymore. They have a family, more of a family than they did when they started hunting together all those years ago, and that family is what holds them together. They need each other, of course, but each other isn’t enough anymore. Sam needs Eileen, Dean needs Cas. That is where they will find their peace.

This episode, as many written by Bucklemming was sloppy, rushed, packed full of shit, and had little gems that we can talk about forever, but that was the end of the season, and next week? Andrew Dabb brings us home, where Dean and Sam will finally be able to choose what they want for themselves, and that, my friends, is Eileen and Cas.

#supernatural #spn #spoilers #my meta #spn 15x19 #destiel #saileen

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serpenteve · 3 years

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if the villains are motivated by anything other than their own power and ego then the hero HAS to try to address the root cause of the problem. it's obviously going to be a complicated issue, but they have to TRY. you can't just say "darkles has been defeated and the fold is gone so now i'm gonna fuck off to my happy orphanage where i was never happy to be with my boyfriend and live a happy rich life since i'm no longer a persecuted minority" and fuck off and expect readers to be happy?? WHY did darkles do what he did and why were so many people loyal to him?

you can't change policies followed in other countries but are you doing anything to address ravkans' prejudice against the grisha? they're resentful of the grisha in spite of them having only one option at life - the army. has there been any education of how their powers work, of the history of oppression they've faced and continue to, of them being tortured in other countries. what about maintaining the monarchy when that monarchy has clearly NOT done anything for ravka at all? just because nikolai is a good person? what if his sons and grandsons are assholes? him and zoya got married. so? is there ALWAYS going to be a grisha on the throne? and it's not like there can't be evil grisha. why would you NOT install checks and balances in place?

the only thing alina did at the end was install the triumvirate. all her friends. who are occupying the same role the darkles had before except now she believes these are the good people. and okay they'll have more influence now on nikaolai and zoya. but their power and influence depends entirely on what the future monarchs are like jfc.

Preach! 🙌🏽

I've said this before and I'll say it again, the books are so weirdly anti-Grisha. The implications of the heroine losing part of her identity in a marginalized group so she could be paired off with her bigoted sexist boyfriend is just gross. What are we supposed to take from this ending if we saw our own marginalized experience in the Grisha? If you're gay, just stop being gay?

The way Alina is characterized in RoW is simply to double down on the garbage ending of Ruin & Rising, but it also has some weird implications. Like, Alina claiming she was never happy as a Grisha and acting like no longer being part of that persecuted class is what led to her happiness with her anti-Grisha boyfriend. It's easier for her to paint the Darkling as the ultimate evil because she can wash her hands of the societal reasons he did what he did because she killed him and "saved the day". Her job is done and she can just sit back and chill while her Grisha friends are putting themselves in danger.

The story fails to set up a heroic alternative to the Darkling. We're supposed to be rooting for the muggle prince Nikolai but then it comes off pro-monarchy and like the Grisha's role in Ravka must be replaced with muggle technologies in order to move "forward". It wasn't the Darkling's motives that made him evil, it was his methods---and even that is debatable. So why are we painting his status as a Grisha or Alina's status as a Grisha as perversions of power that will ultimately lead to villainy and must be "purified" by muggle alternatives?

The moral of the story seems to be less "power corrupts" and more "Grisha power corrupts" because apparently a monarchy is better??

That said, if Bardugo had wanted to engage with the persecution of the Grisha plot seriously and not treat it like window dressing for her world-building, this series would likely have to be much longer. I read somewhere that initially it was going to be a much longer series (like 8 books or something) but then she trimmed it down to 3 books and perhaps simplified the plot in the process?

#viv answers #sab meta #grisha discourse #anti row #anti leigh bardugo

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wisteriabookss · 4 years

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An Extensive Analysis of Eris

The recent excerpt from ACOSF has got this fandom spinning on it’s head because it includes a feral-smiling Eris waltzing with Nesta. As a result, people have now delved deeper into his character and whether or not he deserves a redemption arc (or an arc of any kind).

So naturally, he has been compared to Rhys, because Rhys also appeared to us in the beginning as a cruel, cunning person, who was eventually revealed to have a bigger heart, and a valid excuse (at least amongst the IC) for his behavior.

I made this post to mainly catalogue all that Eris has done, analyze his actions, see if he indeed can be compared to Rhys, and to determine whether or not he should have a redemption arc.

What We Know So Far

Our first mention of Eris is in ACOMAF, when Rhysand is explaining to Feyre what happened to Mor. I could put the quotes here, but just to save some time I’m gonna make a long story short.

Mor’s father, Keir, declared that she was to be sold in marriage to Eris. Eris is known for being cruel, and Mor begged Rhys to stop it. Rhys brought her to the Illyrian camp for a few days, and she decided to sleep with Cassian in order to ruin her “pure” image. Because she slept with Cassian, Eris refused to marry her. Said, “she’d been sullied by a bastard-born lesser faerie, and he’d now sooner fuck a sow.” Her family, although it’s not said explicitly, basically beat her, and then dumped her body on the Autumn court border with a note nailed to her body that said she was Eris’s problem now. Eris left her for dead in the middle of their woods.

Now, we’re going to look at what he exactly said during this event, given to us from Mor’s POV in ACOFAS:

“Don’t touch her.” Those steps stopped. It was not a warning to protect her. Defend her.

“No one touches her,” he said. Eris. “The moment we do, she’s our responsibility.”

Cold, unfeeling words. “But—but they nailed a—”

“No one touches her.”

A pale, beautiful face appeared above her, blocking out the jewel-like leaves above. Unmoved. Impassive. “I take it you do not wish to live here, Morrigan.”

He must have read it in her eyes. A small smile curved his lips. “I thought so.”

Eris took a step away. Someone behind him blurted, “We can’t just leave her to—”

“We can, and we will,” Eris said simply, his pace unfaltering as he strode away.

“She chose to sully herself; her family chose to deal with her like garbage. I have already told them my decision in this matter.” A long pause, crueler than the rest. “And I am not in the habit of fucking Illyrian leftovers.”

Now that we have Mor’s side of the story, we’re going to look at what Eris has said about that fateful day during a discussion with the IC in ACOWAR:

Mor snarled, rattling the glasses. “You never gave any evidence to the contrary. Certainly not when you left me in those woods.”

“There were forces at work that you have never considered,” Eris said coldly. “And I am not going to waste my breath explaining them to you. Believe what you want about me.”

. . . .

A frown at Mor as he drained his wine and set down the goblet. “I’m surprised you still can’t control yourself around him. You had every emotion written right on that pretty face of yours.”

“Watch it,” Azriel warned.

Eris looked between them, smiling faintly. Secretly. As if he knew something that Azriel didn’t. “I wouldn’t have touched you,” he said to Mor, who blanched again. “But when you fucked that other bastard—” A snarl ripped from Rhys’s throat at that. And my own. “I knew why you did it.” Again that secret smile that had Mor shrinking. Shrinking. “So I gave you your freedom, ending the betrothal in no uncertain terms.”

“And what happened next,” Azriel growled.

A shadow crossed Eris’s face. “There are few things I regret. That is one of them. But … perhaps one day, now that we are allies, I shall tell you why. What it cost me.”

A main takeaway from this is that there seems to be much more to story of what happened between Eris and Mor.

Does that mean him leaving her in the woods is excusable? No. Absolutely not. He didn’t try to take the nail out of her (which would’ve been the bare minimum), he didn’t alert Rhys that she was there, he didn’t do anything to help her. He started to make the situation even more traumatic by saying vile things to her. Whatever reason he gives for not helping her will be just that: a reason. But not an excuse. Those are two very different things.

Eris say’s that leaving her there is one of the few things he regrets. There’s something in that. I’m not saying under any circumstance that he should be forgiven because he feels guilty, thats stupid as hell, but it is showing that he’s not some apathetic, other-worldy evil person. There’s some semblance of a conscious in him.

He also say’s that one day he’ll tell them why he did it and what it cost him. By what it cost him, I’m guessing he’s talking about the cost of ending his betrothal to Mor, because I can’t think of what he lost by leaving her there.

I don’t think there’s been any mention of someone getting revenge on Eris because A.) Rhys told Feyre that, “Azriel found her a day later. It was all I could do to keep him from going to either court and slaughtering them all.” and B) her family was obviously going to do nothing cause they’re the ones who hurt her.

I’m not going to try and theorize what cost Eris had to pay. It obviously is something (or someone) important to him.

But to me, one of the biggest things we got from this discussion is that it seems Eris knows Mor is gay. That secret smile of his that had Mor shrinking, the way he says he knows why she slept with Cassian, and that he gave Mor her freedom by ending the betrothal without giving a reason . . . he knows.

He knew she was gay, so he ended their engagement, no questions asked. And then Mor was dumped in his woods, and he did nothing to help.

Morally grey, indeed.

(P.S. To the person that posted something along the lines of, “I can’t wait to see Mor’s face when she see’s Eris dancing with Nesta,” . . . get help)

Another excerpt I wanna look at also happens during the recent discussion we’ve just seen, but it has to do with Feyre and Lucien.

“You hunted me down like an animal,” I cut in. “I think we’ll choose to believe the worst.”

Eris’s pale face flushed. “I was given an order. And sent to do it with two of my … brothers.”

That little hesitation before he says ‘brothers’. . . sus. That’s all imma say. (maybe there’s more than one illegitimate son in that family . . .)

“And what of the brother you hunted down alongside me? The one whose lover you helped to execute before his eyes?”

Eris laid a hand flat on the table. “You know nothing about what happened that day. Nothing.”

Silence.

“Indulge me,” was all I said.

Eris stared me down. I stared right back.

“How do you think he made it to the Spring border,” he said quietly. “I wasn’t there— when they did it. Ask him. I refused. It was the first and only time I have denied my father anything. He punished me. And by the time I got free … They were going to kill him, too. I made sure they didn’t. Made sure Tamlin got word—anonymously—to get the hell over to his own border.”

Where two of Eris’s brothers had been killed. By Lucien and Tamlin.

Eris picked at a stray thread on his jacket. “Not all of us were so lucky in our friends and family as you, Rhysand.”

We see another semblance of conscious here when Eris refuses to take part in the slaughtering of Jesminda. To even be in the same room as it. He then made sure that Lucien wasn’t going to die by making sure Tamlin was at his border.

I’m not putting these quotes here to say, “Look, he cares about stuff , so let’s excuse everything he’s done.” No. There is no excusing any of his actions. Just like we can’t excuse Rhysand’s behavior in the first two books, or Cassian’s, or Nesta’s, or even Feyre’s, etc. But what we can do is see the reasons for their actions, and try and understand why they acted the way they did. They have their reasons, and Eris has his. (P.S. I’m not trying to compare what they’ve done, I’m just noting that they all had reasons to do what they’ve done, and they all deserve to be heard out.)

Comparison To Rhys

As I said earlier, Eris has drawn a lot of comparisons to Rhys. I agree with most of them.

This fandom has catalogued all of Rhys’s questionable actions like . . .

*TRIGGER WARNING: words like sexually assaulted*

Rhys sexually assaulting Feyre three times in the first book by drugging her, and then compelling her to give him lap dances in front of the folks Under The Mountain. He then displayed Feyre again in a sexual manner in the second book in front of The Court of Nightmares as, and I quote, “The High Lords Whore.”

In both situations he could’ve done things so much differently. In the first book, he could’ve just, oh I don’t know, kept her in her cell? Or maybe brought her upstairs as a normal person?

And in the second one she literally could have been ANYTHING else. Everyone thinks she’s his prisoner, so why didn’t they go with that? Why couldn’t he have just dressed her in some raggedy-ass clothing, messed up her hair, and then tell her to act super stoic or frightened? Really Rhys, she just had to be your whore? (I know it was consensual but that doesn’t make her persona okay. He could’ve picked literally anything else)

Did he have his reasons for doing this? Yes. Does his reasons excuse what he did? No. You don’t have to make everyone else around you act a part just because you do.

So while we may not excuse Rhys’s actions, we can understand his reasons even if we don’t agree with them. Same with Eris. We know Eris has his reasons, and I doubt we’ll all agree with them, but he still has them.

Let’s also not forget that Rhysand made a deal with Eris and Keir that he would support Eris’s claim to the Autumn Court throne when Eris decides to kill his father for it. He also allowed Keir and his court to come into Velaris, and even though they’ll be turned away by every vendor, he still allowed them in. While he had his reasons for doing this (the Darkling army for ACOWAR) he still did it. It still hurt Mor.

Redemption Arc

My biggest hesitation in thinking Eris will get a redemption arc is wondering where it would fit in the books for him to have one. We don’t know how if his waltz with Nesta is just a one-time thing or if it’s a result of a friendship between the two. The second book is supposed to be centered around Elain, Azriel, and Lucien, so that could also be a spot where he get’s an arc, maybe through a relationship with Lucian or Azriel.

Either way, I’m not gonna bring down the hammer and say that he shouldn’t get a redemption arc. Tbh, the term ‘redemption arc’ kinda annoys me because it shouldn’t be about redeeming what was done in the past, but more about learning from past mistakes and taking the initiative to grow into a better person. That’s what I want for Eris. He’s not going to magically be revealed to be this super sweet fun-loving guy like Rhys. I don’t want him to be revealed like that either.

I just want to see more of his character, see why he is the way he is, and, like i’ve said a million times in this post, know his reasons for acting the way he does.

One last thing before I go. I’m not interested in seeing any relationship blossom between Eris and the IC, or Nesta, and I think it’s unlikely anyways. There’s a possibility for them to have an understanding, sure, but no friendship. I know there are some people who automatically adore Eris because they hate Mor and that’s just stupid. Mor isn’t my fav either, but I won’t cheer Eris on just because he hurt her.

That’s all I’ve got. If you’ve made it this far, I appreciate you. Really.

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ultraintrovertedgryffindor · 3 years

Text

WPP - Kenny (We’re The Millers)

This has been sitting in my drafts for months and I was struggling to finish it, but, a bright light ascended from the heavens, in the form of an angel, and that angel’s name is @gladerscake

Big thanks to them for helping me out and finishing this imagine. Go follow them and give all the love and support you can muster!

~~~~~~~~~~

Being in the witness protection program was...interesting.

It definitely was not what you were expecting, but then again, you didn’t know helping out a person you cared about would get you involved in a murder, yet here you are.

You had to leave everything behind, not that you had that much of a life to begin with, but it was comfortable. Now, everything was different. New home in a new state, even a new last name. Thankfully, you got to keep your first name, you were grateful for that at least.

You were surprised to find the most annoying thing was the neighbourhood that the program placed you in. It’s like it was made for Mormons or something, your neighbours were too nice, at least the house to the right of yours. You didn’t really know who lived in the house to the left, working from home had the benefit of never going outside and the only reason you knew who lived to your right was cause those neighbours were the type of people to introduce themselves.

Yuck.

But still, you couldn’t help but be a little curious.

You did know, however, that they had only recently moved in since the one morning truck woke up before your alarm rang that morning. You were grouchy the rest of the day, thus you’ve been slightly petty towards your “new” neighbours since then. You definitely needed to work on your attitude...one day.

After being inside your house for more than a week, you decided you wanted some vitamin D, which you rarely ever did so you must’ve been seriously deprived.

You walked out of the door leading to the backyard with a book in hand, frowning when you saw how overgrown the grass was from your laziness. You told yourself you’d do it later, and by later you meant you would mow your yard when you started to hate yourself enough to the point where you felt too guilty leaving it alone.

You huffed as you sat in one of your lawn chairs that you bought when you moved in, lying to yourself that you were going to spend more time outside when you knew you wouldn’t. A first for everything, you supposed.

A few chapters in, you heard a door open and shut in your neighbour’s backyard, but you thought nothing of it, almost too entranced in your book.

You smiled to yourself when you started to hear 1990s R&B playing softly, not your cup of tea but you enjoyed it occasionally. Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls had just started playing when you heard the neighbour’s back door slammed. “Dude, turn that shit off! You’ve been playing that song constantly and I’m actually getting sick of it. God.” You heard an angsty female voice.

Oh no...you lived next a family.

“Hey!”

You flinched, noticing a blonde girl was talking you. “Uh, hey?” You slowly closed your book, reluctantly walking over to the fence separating the backyards when the girl motioned you over.

“Haven’t seen you around before, just move in?” She asked, smirking slightly, looking you up and down.

You mocked her smirk, not liking the almost condescending look she was giving you. “No, been here for awhile. That’s how I know you’ve only just moved in a few weeks ago.”

The girl’s smirk only grew. “What’s your name?”

“Y/N. Yours?”

“Casey, and that loser is Kenny.” She pointed to the table behind her, seeing a blonde boy sitting somewhat dejectedly in one of the chairs fiddling with a small CD player. “Hey, TLC, get over here!” The boy looked to Casey with a panicked expression, visibly looking like he wasn’t sure if the girl meant it or not. She rolled her eyes, “Come on, dude!”

The boy nodded, frantically walking away to join Casey at the fence. “Hey.” He stuttered, blushing when he noticed your eyes on him.

Casey rolled her eyes yet again. “Yeah, this is Kenny.”

Kenny waved quite adorably, giving you a tight lipped smile. “Did you just move in?”

“No, I-”

“We’ve already had this talk, she’s been here longer than we have.” Casey interrupted, making your blood boil a little bit, her attitude almost worse than yours.

Kenny frowned slightly, but covered it up with a smile. “Oh.”

“Yep. We’ve already become besties.” You said sarcastically, grinning widely, making Kenny genuinely smile a little.

“Kids!” A middle aged man with a stupid haircut, to you anyway, walked over with hesitant look on his face. “Who’s this?”

“Y/N, your neighbour that’s lived here longer than you have. Saved you the trouble of telling him yourself, Casey.” You sneered.

“Oh. Well, I’m David and we’re the Millers! My wife, Sarah, is at the market right now, but I’m sure she’d be glad to meet you sometime.” He smiled widely, making you uncomfortable.

“Uh, dad, chill out. You’re gonna scare away the only girl I find suitable to be friends with in this shit neighbourhood.” Casey whispered harshly.

You didn’t really want to be friends with Casey, you never really got along with girls. Clearly, reading outside was a bad choice...

“Ha ha, if you sass me one more time today, you will be grounded young lady.” David forced another smile.

“Uh, Dad...”

“Shut up, Kenny.”

You quickly realized where the Kenny kid was in the family food chain. It was a shame, the dude was pretty easy on the eyes and seemed nice from what you’ve seen. “Look, I’m just gonna go. Nice meeting you fine folks...” You waved awkwardly, turning around and practically speed walking inside your house.

Well, that was fun...never going outside ever again.

The overall encounter put you in a sour mood, so when the doorbell rang you prayed to god that it wasn’t the yearly check in with law enforcement cause you’d probably get yourself in trouble with that attitude of yours.

You were mildly shocked to see that awkward Kenny guy outside your door, his eyes trained on his feet before you opened the door. “Kenny Miller, right?”

“Uh...yeah, Miller. Uh, I just want to apologize for my, uh, family’s behavior. They don’t have the best of manners, but they’re good people, I swear!” He ranted at such a quick pace that it almost flew right over your head. “So, yeah, sorry.”

You chuckled at his nervousness. “You don’t have to be sorry, especially on the behalf of your family. They don’t seem like the type to appreciate it anyway.”

His eyes widened, holding up his hands and shaking his head. “No, no, no, it’s not like that! They, uh, appreciate me.” You kept your mouth shut, giving him a sympathetic look with a soft smile. He sighed. “It’s that obvious, huh?”

“To me, it is. I’ve been in that situation before, so it’s not that hard to notice.”

“Oh...well, they can be nice sometimes I guess.”

“I hope so. Well, it was nice to meet you, Kenny.” You stuck your hand out, smiling when he hesitated but shook your outstretched hand gently.

A week later, you and Kenny actually became friends despite the two of you being almost complete opposites. He was able to poke through your cynical exterior, which was extremely rare for someone to do. He made you laugh, smile, and actually enjoy life when you were with him. You didn’t like it at first, but his adorkable personality won you over.

Kenny was more than overjoyed, he finally had a friend, not one out of pity anyway. The first time you two had hung out, he came “home” with a huge grin on his face. Of course, Casey had to tease him about it all the time.

“I still don’t understand how she can be friends with that loser and not me!” Casey ranted. “It doesn’t make sense!”

“Casey, stop calling Kenny a loser, please.” Sarah sighed, tapping away on her keyboard.

As soon as Sarah said that, Kenny walked through the door with another grin on his face. “Hey, Ma!”

“You don’t have to call me that here, hon.” Sarah voiced, shutting her laptop and walking out of the kitchen, but she smiled to herself.

“Pop your cherry yet?” Casey smirked evilly.

Kenny immediately blushed. “I told you, we’re just friends...”

She rolled her eyes. “You obviously want to be more than just friends with her. You should just ask her out and get it over with.”

“But...Melissa...”

Casey huffed loudly. “Dude, I already told you, she’s probably moved on by now. She was a total babe, she can and probably has done way better than you.”

“Hey...” Kenny frowned, to which Casey just shrugged, her eyes training back to her phone. He sighed as he sat down across from his “sister.” “I do like her...but I don’t know how to bring it up. I’m awful at talking to girls about...that kind of stuff.”

Casey snorted. “Yeah, no kidding.” But she dropped her amused smirk when she saw Kenny glaring. “Sorry, sorry.” She sassed. “I mean, it did work out with the ginger to be fair, but we have to stay in this shithole until further notice. But I really do think you should shoot your shot with what’s her name.”

Kenny rolled his eyes. “Y/N.”

“Yeah, whatever. Just-”

“That girl is bad news.” David suddenly voiced, walking into the kitchen.

“What do you mean by that?” Casey asked.

“Uh, hello? Pay attention to your surroundings instead of that stupid phone of yours to see that we are in witness protection. We can’t trust any of these creepy neighbours.”

“Uh, I think you’re a tad bit paranoid, father dearest.”

“Y/N’s really cool though!” Kenny expressed.

David rolled his eyes. “But we don’t really know her, we don’t know if she’s a snitch or something.”

Casey laughed. “Wow, you really are paranoid, dude.”

“Ha ha, very funny, just go to your room and listen to your Metallicas and AC/DCs.”

Casey’s face contorted into a disgusted scowl. “I don’t listen to that garbage.”

“Shut up.” David simply replied, making Casey stand up and storm out of the room and up the stairs. “Look, Ken, I get you like this girl, but you need to be careful. Don’t say things you shouldn’t and all that. You have a tendency to not know when to shut your mouth. So, don’t do that, kay?”

Kenny nodded curtly, avoiding David’s eyes as he felt his face heat up in slight anger. He knew he had some...issues with keeping his mouth shut about things that should be kept a secret, but he grew up, right? He’s not as naïve as he was before they went to Mexico, but his “family” still treated him like he was five. Plus, he knew you weren’t the type to be a snitch.

While Kenny was dealing with feeling underappreciated, you were having your own set of issues to handle. Today was the day for a check up with law enforcement to make sure you were on your best behavior. You always were, but it still made you anxious to no end. And you prayed that Kenny wouldn’t rush in to your house like he got into the habit of doing when you were interrogated.

Of course, that didn’t happen.

“For fuck’s sake...” You muttered under your breath when you saw Kenny’s shocked and scared face when he saw you sitting with a couple local police officers.

On your end, it just looked like he was scared of police officers. But Kenny’s mind immediately went haywire, thinking that you called them over to investigate them even though the police were already informed of “the Millers” situation.

“Kenny, now’s not a good time.” You sighed.

“No, no, it’s okay.” The police officer in front of you said. “We’re done here anyway.” He walked out of your house with his partner, leaving you and Kenny in an awkward silence.

“What was that all about?” Kenny asked, not being able to control the bitter tone in his voice. “Did you think we’re that bad or something?”

“Kenny, I-”

“We’ve been doing really well here!” Kenny interrupted. “No problems with anybody, been on our best behavior.”

“Kenny.”

“I don’t wanna go to jail. I can’t go to jail. We’ve only been here for a couple months.”

“Kenny, stop!” You finally yelled, losing your temper. “They were here to check up on me, for fuck’s sake.”

Kenny’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but still had a slight expression of panic. “Here for you? B-But-”

“I’m in witness protection, you dweeb, same as you.”

“Oh...Wait, how did you know I’m in witness protection?”

“Your family,” You finger quoted, “looks nothing like you. All of you don’t look anything alike. How paranoid and secretive that David is, it wasn’t too hard to put things together. You rambling off like an absolute moron a minute ago just reaffirmed my theory.”

Kenny frowned. “Dang, I thought I had worked on that.”

You smiled slightly. “It’s alright, Ken. I’m no snitch, and I’m not very judgmental about someone’s past. What did you even do though? You’re definitely not the type to break the law.” You chuckled.

“Oh, well, we kinda smuggled some drugs across the Mexican border.” He stuttered.

“Holy shit, dude! That’s sick! What was it? Was it coke?” You grinned, eager to learn.

Kenny blinked at your excitement, but obliged to all your questions, sitting down next to you. “No, it was marijuana.”

Your face slightly dropped in excitement. “Oh. I really think weed should be legal. It’s stupid, it’s not even a hard drug.”

“Well, we’re lucky we even made it out alive. But what did you go through to get yourself here?”

Now, you definitely didn’t judge past crimes of others, if they’ve atoned for it and changed that is, but you had no idea if Kenny would judge you. You actually found yourself not wanting him to look at you in a different light, and you’ve never felt that way before.

Kenny seemed perfectly sweet, almost too sweet to judge anyone, but on the other hand...the stuff that had landed you in the program was definitely heavier than some weed smuggling.

Maybe it would be too much for him. Maybe it would be best to just make something up, something less horrible, something he wouldn’t be too shocked by. As tempting as that route felt, the idea of lying to him weirdly didn’t sit well with you, though.

Kenny was quick to notice the lengthy pause that followed his question, as well as the way your shoulders tensed and your eyes averted to the parquet floor. Oh no. Had he pried into something too personal? Was he an idiot for asking?

“Oh, um...you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to!” Kenny hurried to assure you, slight panic beginning to etch his bluish-green eyes, his fists clenching and unclenching involuntarily. “I was just curious, is all! I’m sorry if it’s too persona-“

“It’s okay!” To his surprise, you pulled on a tight-lipped smile, giving him a look as nonchalant as you could manage at the moment. “Really, you don’t have to apologize for asking. Plus, you already told me about your thing, so...” You trailed off, softly, wondering how to proceed.

As much as you resented the thought of Kenny seeing you differently, you decided even that unpleasant outcome would still be better than lying to him. You’d rather not. You liked Kenny. Despite not having spent a tremendous amount of time together, you could tell he was a genuinely good person, and you definitely enjoyed his company. Not to mention, it would be a blatant lie if you said you weren’t at all attracted to him.

Casey may have spent most of their interactions calling him a “loser” in some form or another, but you couldn’t be farther away from agreeing with her. A part of you was positively annoyed with the way she treated him. Then again, taste is subjective. It wasn’t Casey’s fault if she didn’t have a good sense of it.

With a deep intake of air, you nervously flipped a loose strand of hair over your shoulder, still avoiding direct eye-contact with Kenny. “I, uh...It’s a rough one, really. And kind of a long story. I wouldn’t wanna dump something like that on you, if you’d rather not hear it”

He tentatively pursed his plump lips, but nonetheless nodded for you to keep going. “I’m sure I can handle it! Whatever it is, I’m not gonna judge you, Y/N. I promise!”

Promise, huh? Guess you were going to have to see about that.

Trying to ignore the rapidly increasing pace of your heart and slight tremble in your fingers, you began your story.

You didn’t want to go into too much detail, for the fear of oversharing, but you did tell him as much as you felt you could. About how you used to have a friend...a pretty close friend, who you cared about a great deal, who had always been kind and generous, alas, a bit of a troublemaker.

About how she had fallen in with the wrong crowd, something you admittedly failed to see coming. How that crowd turned out to be a notoriously vicious gang that had it out for some other poor girl, who had apparently slept with one of the gang leaders’ boyfriend without realizing it.

How that gang, your friend included, lured her onto a rooftop to “fuck with her” and “teach her a lesson.” Only that night, they went too far and ended up pushing her off. The girl died instantly, and due to the heaping pile of evidence, it wasn’t a particularly long investigation. Almost everyone involved were arrested shortly after, and you, having been brought in as one of the witnesses, had a choice whether you wanted to testify against your friend or not.

At first you weren’t sure if you wanted to do that and make matters worse for her. However, after some much-needed reflection and consideration, you decided it would be the right thing to do. Someone had died, and your friend played a part in it. You couldn’t turn a blind eye to something that big simply because you two were close.

Your friend was put away, along with several other gang members. Still, quite a few of them were still out there, and they definitely seemed like the type to hold serious grudges. You were no longer safe at your former home, and now...well, there you where.

Kenny listened intently all the while, not once daring to interrupt, not even to ask a question. By the way your breathing had hitched and your lips had stuttered at certain parts, he could tell how hard that must’ve been for you to go through in the first place, and how unsettling it was for you to revisit those moments in order to share your story with him.

You didn’t notice, but as you were nearing the end, Kenny had inched to sit closer to you, his large hand carefully landing on your shoulder with a soft but warm-hearted squeeze. He had briefly hesitated in making that move, but the need to offer you comfort and reassurance overpowered his nervousness. His only hope was that you wouldn’t flinch at his touch, and so he felt a huge wave of relief wash over him when you did no such thing.

“So...that’s about it. Sorry, I know it’s a fucking bummer story, compared to your weed smuggling adventure.” You attempted a chuckle, only it came out as more of a sad scoff.

Your heart was still pounding and you were still reluctant to look up at him. Although, as you finally noticed Kenny’s warm hand gently squeezing your shoulder, you felt a soothing brush of comfort spread through your limbs, and you couldn’t deny how nice it felt.

“Whoa...that’s...I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” Kenny frowned, unsure of what the right thing to say could be.

“It’s okay, really. I’ve had some time to process it and move on. Well...not completely, but I’d say I’m doing much better now.”

Kenny went silent for a minute, clearly still digesting the information, and the worries you had about him looking at you differently came back in full force. You opened your mouth to ask him about it, but he beat you by a millisecond, speaking first. “Why...why were you so nervous about telling me?”

So he had noticed. Figures. The art of the poker face wasn’t something you’d ever truly mastered. It sometimes annoyed you how easy your anxious state was to spot, but there wasn’t much you could do about that.

“I don’t know, I...I guess I didn’t want you to see me as a snitch or judge me-“

“Judge you?” Kenny interrupted, sounding confused about the mere insinuation. “For what, not sticking up for your friend when she had got herself involved in a murder?”

“I mean, she was still my friend, so...”

“So what? That doesn’t change the fact that she got in the middle of something so horrible, that could’ve been avoided, if she had paid more attention to who she hung around.”

You couldn’t say you had expected that. It was almost weird hearing Kenny talk that way, but you were definitely relieved to hear where he so firmly stood in regards to the whole “judging you” idea.

You bit your bottom lip in agitation as a thought you had been wrestling with for a while creeped its way into your mind again. “Sometimes I feel like maybe I could’ve done something...could’ve checked up on her more or somehow stopped her from hanging out with them...maybe I could’ve kept her from having anything to do with it.” Your voice grew quieter, sounding barely above a whisper as guilt flashed through your eyes, your muscles tensing, uneasily, at the thought. Kenny was immediately closer, his arm wrapping around you, as if trying to shelter you from your own thoughts.

“Come on, don’t do that to yourself, Y/N. You can’t control the actions of others, not even your friends. Least of all your friends, probably.”

You allowed a small smile to touch the corner of your lips as you instinctively leaned into Kenny, his closeness calming you, his soft reassurances shushing the self-deprecating thoughts he could sense looming over you.

“Yeah, you’re right, I guess. I just try not to think about it often, it really sucks diving into that stuff.”

“Of course it sucks. I just hope you know that none of it was even a little bit your fault. From what I can tell after spending some time with you...you’re a really good person, Y/N.”

You looked up at him, noting the way your faces were only a few inches apart by that point. The close proximity brought a rosy tinge to your cheeks. “You think so?”

“I do! Why wouldn’t I? You’re smart, you’re funny when you want to be, you’re great to be around, and heck, you’re one of the very few people I know who doesn’t make me feel like I’m constantly doing something wrong.”

Hearing that made you simultaneously happy and sad. With the way Kenny’s “family” treated him almost around the clock, it was no wonder he felt that way. You wished he didn’t have to. You believed someone as wonderful as him deserved so much better. If only he had at least one person close to him who would tell him how much better he was than most guys out there, how anyone should be lucky to call him a friend... or maybe more than just a friend.

In that moment, you found yourself thinking what it would be like if you were that person. You imagined it would feel the same way it always did when you were around Kenny, only better. In all honesty, you couldn’t find a single reason not to try. What harm was there in trying? Oh, that’s right...something could go badly wrong, and then whatever friendship you had with him would be in shambles.

That’s what the pessimistic side of you thought about it. But the other side, the more hopeful and affectionate side, had other ideas.

Even though you and Kenny were brought into the witness protection program by very different circumstances, you were still in it together. You didn’t have to hide your true identities or your past, at least not from each other. That had to count for something, right?

While you were taking a second to collect your thoughts, Kenny was facing some inner turmoil of his own. With the newfound closeness of the two of you, his cheeks were positively crimson, his pulse quickening, heart thumping against his rib cage. Any doubts he’d had about whether or not he wanted to ask you out had vanished - he absolutely wanted to do that. But how? When? Would now be a good time? He wasn’t sure. Yet, he was very aware of the fact that if he were to lean in just a little bit closer, he could just kiss you right then and there...

Kenny briefly remembered David’s “count to three” method, but for some reason it didn’t feel right to use. Not with you, not like that. All he wanted was to just go with the feeling, and that feeling was beckoning him to your lips.

Oh, screw it. If you were to push him away, so be it. He would probably die a little inside and never attempt to do anything like that ever again, but at least he would know your immediate answer.

“Kenny...?”

Your soft questioning voice reached his ears as his gaze trailed over your delicate face, taking in every feature, and with a soft but resolute breath, he leaned in.

Your eyes went wide when Kenny’s lips landed on yours. You froze for a second, not knowing what to do. Luckily, your instantly skipping heart gave you the hint you needed to flutter your eyes closed and melt into it.

He kissed you so gently, so carefully, but not like he was afraid of scaring you away. More like he wanted you feel completely safe and give you every chance to stop it the second you wanted to.

You didn’t.

Instead, you wrapped an arm around his neck, your fingertips brushing the ends of his short sandy hair, your lips moving seamlessly and warmly against his own.

Kenny couldn’t believe you were actually kissing him back, but damn, he was thrilled that you were. He felt the affection in him surge as the softness of your lips put his mind in a haze. His hand timidly slid down to your waist, bringing you closer to him, and you willingly went, deepening the kiss as you did.

After a few blissful moments you finally broke away from his lips, your noses nearly brushing each other as you looked up at him through glimmering eyes. “I was almost convinced I would have to do that myself...”

Kenny breathed a soft chuckle, not taking his gaze off of yours. “To be honest, so was I...”

You grinned at his burning cheeks, releasing a light chuckle of your own before reconnecting your lips for another kiss, swallowing the muted grunt that rumbled from Kenny’s throat.

Things were going to get better now. For both of you, you were sure of it. Kenny was finally going to have someone who would show him what it’s like to be truly wanted and appreciated, and you were going to have someone who wouldn’t dream of hurting you and who you knew would always do his best to understand you, give you everything he could give.

Maybe this whole witness protection program thing wouldn’t be such a tedious affair, after all.

~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks again for helping me @gladerscake , you’re the sweetest ❤

#we're the millers #kenny miller #kenny miller x reader #kenny miller imagine

162 notes · View notes

mittensmorgul · 4 years

Note

Dean died standing up, which on one hand seems symbolic for "dying on his feet not his knees", ie. it was his choice (i call BS). but it was also like Christ's crucifixion: killed for his love (for Cas/men) and faith that life can get better - it did when he "rose" again, but it was Heaven not Earth, ie. a fantasy. Who Dean Was wasn't the only thing that was killed, it was What He Believed In/Wanted as well: a better life, full of love.

How many times over the years has Dean just begun to see light at the end of the tunnel, only to have it ripped away in a horrific cosmic twist that refuses to let him have a win, only to get back up and keep fighting and putting away that dream until it starts to look like they might finally be on the horizon of an actual win again?

Let’s just think back over the history of “toes in the sand” dreaming, specifically, which is something that really became obvious in s10 when they seemed to be on the verge of finding a “cure” for the mark, that they were under the false belief all season was merely a curse that could be undone. He started dreaming of a vacation, of being able to let go of the need to stand between humanity and cosmic fuckery, and just... relax on a beach and enjoy the peace and quiet for a little while. But that was not to be, because the mark was much more than a curse, and unleashed a whole new round of cosmic garbage to clean up.

13.23 took this to new levels of personal punishment for Dean thinking he might deserve a peaceful retirement:

You, me, Cas, toes in the sand, couple of them little umbrella drinks. Matching Hawaiian shirts, obviously.

HE WAS EXCITED ABOUT RETIREMENT and sharing this joy with his loved ones! But by the end of that episode he would have no other choice but to say yes to Michael to save Sam and Jack (and the rest of the world...), and the narrative snatched him up and used him again.

It’s what he’s been fighting for all season long in 15, too. First he had to come to grips with what was even real about his life, if anything was ever even his choice. This season pushed him to truly understand what was real-- that Cas was probably the realest thing he’s ever encountered, and the cosmic forces that had always torn that dream of retiring (or even getting a vacation) from his grasp had also actively been trying to take Cas from him, too. But despite all that, Cas kept coming back to him anyway, and isn’t that an actual miracle?

And when he finally does get the ultimate win against the cosmos in 15.19, it’s at the greatest possible cost. Cas is lost to him, but even still he tries to make that sacrifice worth something by living his life as best he can.

And then he lives like two days before being killed in the stupidest possible fashion. Like...

wtf, on every level

“Oh but he’s got an eternity of happiness in heaven!”

NO. *smacks everyone responsible for this travesty with a rolled up newspaper*

“But that’s just how the Supernatural universe works!”

NO. *gets out the newspaper again*

That is not how *our* world works. For every person among us who has identified with Dean or with Cas, we don’t get to look forward to happy heaven forever. We have *one* life (as far as any of us know) and it’s irrevocably precious. DEAN felt his life was irrevocably precious, too, because Cas convinced him it was, that he was worthy of living and being loved for exactly who he was.

And they both died for it.

And in a world where a... how did I phrase this in another post recently... where a proto-fascist evangelical death cult that’s taken over large parts of the us government and would see all not-straight, not-white, not-wealthy, not-abled and not-them in every other way punished or erased simply for trying to exist in society, and who truly believes that life on earth ain’t shit and their real reward will come only once they reach heaven, this is a really awful end for a canon queer couple moments after that love was made textual in a confession.

Like... really bad.

There is no defense of this choice. Writing is ALWAYS a choice. And sometimes writing simply to serve the story (like showing us that Heaven is fixed and now a paradise) doesn’t serve the audience at all. And sometimes those choices are actively harmful to the audience. I don’t just mean the queer audience (or in Eileen’s case, the disabled audience). I mean THE ENTIRE audience, including people who enjoyed the finale. Because it reinforces that the disabled can simply be erased entirely, and that confessing to loving someone is fulfillment enough and merits instant death and subsequent erasure. Not just for Cas, who confessed, but for Dean who never had the chance to confess his own feelings. Never even had the chance to really live out beyond that confession. Never even addressed it in death, either. It was just a punishment for daring to want to live free of everything that had forced him back into the story over and over again at the whim of a cruel and capricious god.

(This isn’t even satisfying for Sam, who apparently ran away again to live out the half-life he’d tried to make for himself every time he’s run away from his life throughout the entire narrative. His wife was irrelevant, he lived for his son he named for his dead brother, and barely even seemed content in that life let alone fulfilled and happy. Dean’s year away from hunting with Lisa had a more positive and hopeful montage associated with it. It’s depressing as fuck that Sam finally found his way free of all of it, and it’s like he just kept clinging to life out of a sense of duty rather than of his own free will. And it’s entirely baffling in every way. Like none of the previous 15 years of growth and coming to understand the balance of his own life meant anything. What a waste.)

The finale says there is no reward in life for people like me, and that I should just be okay with that. And readers, I am not okay with that.

So... I’m happy to throw away the finale with both hands. It didn’t happen, because it’s just that horrific to me.

And if anyone reading this actually does think the finale was good, or satisfying, then I just invite you to understand why so many of us are horrified that you can. Why we might not feel like you’re trustworthy. Just a little explainer here, because for some of us, the story of Supernatural was in the hoping, and in the end the message felt way too much like don’t even try hoping, you will always lose in the end, and that’s just not okay.

Dean deserved his retirement, he deserved to be able to tell Cas he loved him too, and he deserved a long, happy life of his own free choice. He deserved to be able to follow his heart. And all of this, everything that happened instead, was a deliberate choice. Just not DEAN’S choice.

#spn 15.20 #destiel #Anonymous

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