#and... not much else actually planned lol

[the-tv-lover]

Hey hey! I know this isn't necessarily a Tenna feederism ask, but I love the way you write him so so much! I was wondering if you had any thoughts on him with a reader who just shuts down whenever they're sad or scared. I'm talking like a complete freeze response where no amount of soft words can get them to talk about whats wrong and trying to force them to is like trying to pull teeth. Maybe Tenna's way to get them to relax is with a yummy treat?? 👀

Hi! It's all good, I plan to just post Tenna x Reader content here in general, I just have a bit of a fixation on one topic right now lol. I'm so glad you enjoy how I write him! I was afraid I wouldn't do him justice, but I'm seeing people are actually liking my fics a lot haha

I can imagine a few situations that this could happen! Maybe someone got mad at you, or you witnessed Tenna getting mad at someone himself.

Tenna x Freezing Reader headcanons under the cut!

MINORS DNI

He might panic a bit seeing you like this at first! He'll try to communicate with you and ask you questions in an attempt to help you find the words to say.

If someone else did something to upset you, he would want to know who did it. God forbid one of his employees do something to hurt you. He'll try to find out if one did so he can give them extra workload, but as long as you're quiet about it, he can't do anything.

If you saw him getting angry at someone, not necessarily at you, and got upset or scared since you just get this way as a reaction to anyone's anger no matter who it's directed to, he would feel so sorry for doing something that would make you feel this way, again, even if it's not directed at you.

When he realizes he just won't be able to get you to speak, he does other things to help calm you down so you can hopefully talk about it later once you relax.

If you enjoy physical contact, he'll try picking you up and holding you for a good while to let the weight of a hug calm you down.

If you don't want physical contact at the moment or if just physical affection isn't enough to calm you down, he'll do all sorts of things to help you relax! He'll take you to the couch and wrap you in a blanket and power on your favorite video game to play, or turn on a show or movie you enjoy. He'll make sure if you need anything to take care of yourself, like a snack or meal, a drink, or a nap.

Maybe after taking time to relax and process things, you might feel up to explaining to him what upset you. He'll gladly listen to what you need to express. You might need to convince him, though, that taking action against someone who upset you isn't necessary if you don't want him to do anything. If it was his own anger that scared you, he'll apologize and make a mental note to try controlling his temper around you and do better next time.

[cornflowershade]

THK NEW YORK FANMEET !!

we are here! I have slept and am now fully prepared to describe and gush to y'all about my time yesterday. 💖✨ Thankfully I thought to bring a little notebook with me and journaled between benefits starting after the hi-touch, so I'll actually have a better time remembering things and my initial reactions hehe. Though I have plenty to add this morning :)

ALRIGHT so I arrived earlier than expected, a before 11am and y'all I did not actually realize we would waiting outside after check-in and not get let in until an hour before our first benefit. I was VIP and was able to check in within two seconds at an outdoor table which was nice. They said my group could head inside at 12:15 for our hi-touch at 1pm (though that got a bit delayed) so basically me and everyone else without soundcheck tickets were out in the courtyard. I also needed the bathroom the whole time lmao. THANKFULLY it wasn't as hot as it was initially supposed to be. Still hot tho. And my choice of outfit did not help, which I knew going in but fashion ok fashion!! I hadn't had time to do my hair either so I'd left it down for the event, but put it in a random bun while we waited because y'all i could NOT. There were a ton of people handing out freebies, little gifts they had made, had printed, etc. which was so sweet!! I got a lot of stuff, and here's a little pic of my favorites throughout the day:

(Some of this was given to me before the event, some after when I was leaving)

When I wasn't getting handed sweet gifts I was kinda just standing around but eventually one of the very few benches had a free spot and I swept it up, eventually making conversation with some girl who was an FK fan so we passed the time talking about their shows.

Eventually I got inside for the Hi-Touch (and finally got to use the bathroom lol). A moment though for how GORGEOUS THE VENUE WAS because that theater omg !! Literally the second I walked in with the crowd I said excitedly out loud, to no-one in particular: "oh it's so beautiful!"

upper left + lower right are from upstairs hallway with the bathrooms, lower left + upper right are the ceiling/walls in the auditorium!

Alright so Hi-Touch! I found my seat to wait and ended up next to a really nice girl from out-of-state who became my bff for the evening. I really lucked out with that, we had a lot of fun together!

As Hi-Touch started we were discussing whether to record or not because they made some announcement like "you can record this and it is the only benefit you can record!" We weren't sure bc we kinda just wanted to have the moment but we watched everyone on stage before us, and it was going so FAST that eventually we decided, whatever we'll just record it. And we both lowkey regretted that ngl bc it was too distracting. One cannot have adhd and focus on all that at once. I also had in my head that I wanted to say things to the actors and wasn't sure I'd have time so I was really focused on that, actually so much so that by the time I got to FK (of course it was FK) my camera was barely even pointed at them pfff. Just swung off to the side as my brain was overcome by interacting with them. I mean who can focus on anything but them c'mon. And, okay, seeing them?? When they came on stage my first thought was, hilariously, "THEY'RE SO HD!" haha. I think I said that aloud. They were just so real and there and crisp idk man all I could phrase it as was 'they're so hd' 😂 (spoken like the video editor i am haha) And they were also all SO SO PRETTY. Like how are you all SO PRETTY? I already KNOW they are pretty. (And FK are so CUTE!!) This is obvious fact!! But they are just as gorgeous in person and I must state this for the record.

I was doing so well but the nerves finally struck when walking up the stage steps. Your girl was trying so hard to keep her wits about her. First-up was Dunk. I was planning to say "sawadee ka," to him which I did, but I felt a little bad when I said it right away because he had already started saying "hello" to me which I didn't realize, so I accidentally interrupted him and he sort of just cut himself off and just smiled. Sorry dunk... 😅

He was super chipper though. Look at him!

ey look he's holding my hand! this is a thing that happened! lower right babeyyy

Joong. I was originally planning to tell him "i love your photography" but it was too quick passing him and I didn't think I'd have time so I just gave another "sawadee ka." I don't think he said anything back, he was very rushed and distracted—literally already looking at the next person while touching my hand. But what gets me the most is the face he made when he initially saw me. Sir what is going on in your head??? At first I really thought I was confusing this boy somehow. I do not know how to feel about this expression. But I do find it very funny to look at.

ah the.... joys? of being perceived? (and no you can't pay me to crop out khao)

In retrospect, he was obviously looking at my outfit and when I really pause the frames (as you do. as a totally normal individual) I don't think it was a bad reaction particularly (look, his mouth does still look smiley on the edges! ..right?) I think he was just trying to take everything in and very fast—based on his eye-line he was specifically parsing the sparkly corset-top that was over my dress. Which is fair. Later in the event he said something about NY fashion so I'll be coming back to this.

But one final frame for Joong. I think here the confusion has slightly dissipated and he's smiling a tad? I will say for my sake that this is a split second of appreciation happening. Let me pretend.

Okay then we had my BOYS. MY BOYS. FK. OH GOD. Here there are less good shots because again the camera was the very last thing on my mind. Oddly I wasn't as nervous as I expected to be when interacting with them? Perhaps it's because they were so friendly, but likely it was actually a mix of everything happening so fast and me being so locked in on what I wanted to say.

Khao took my hand and I looked at him in his glowy lil face, and said with all my kindest sincerity: "i love your acting 🥺"

He tilted his head and gave me an appreciative smile in return. Might've said thank you, I literally do not remember. Also his smile is not on camera and I wish I'd been less frazzled because I can't quite picture it anymore either. But according to my journal, he made a "very sweet face." He was touched, so even if I don't remember it very much, that is what matters. <3

HOWEVER. From before that. I do have in frame the first few seconds of Khao seeing and LOOKING AT MEEEE.

this face was at meee 🥺 agh look at this sweetheart !!

last part where he was in frame whatsoever, reaching for my hand

To First, I also said "I love your acting." But right before that, he looked at me and started smiling

but as soon as he heard what I said, that particular smile stopped forming, immediately interrupted by lil soft eyes as I was greeted by another head tilt and very sweetly appreciative smile. Funnily enough, he actually started that reaction before I talked to him. So either he heard me speak to Khao and was touched that I gave his bestie a compliment, or he thought I was already talking to him since we were so close. But the next moment I did take his hand, look at him, and tell him the exact same. At which point I think I recall him saying thank you but it was so loud I couldn't quite hear it. Saw his mouth move though. A lot of his frames are very blurred but you can kinda see the smile he gave in the veryyyy last frame, even if he's more than halfway out of the shot. very sweet. Look at those blurry sparkly eyes.

All of that went by SO SO fast, and it's hilarious because as I was walking back off the steps I immediately said to my new seatmate friend— "i don't remember that." Which was SO TRUE. I have picture stills but when I tell you that immediately after—perhaps even during??—and definitely now... I have zero, I mean ZERO, recollection of actually touching any of their hands. (Or talking to them, really.) Might've touched air for all I knew. Do not recall physically feeling literally anything. Guess I was more focused on their faces? Maybe the nerves eliminated my sense of physical perception asdfg

What's so funny is I knew from the Brazil meet talk on tumblr that the boys had been grabbing hands not just giving a high-five type deal, but when I saw the people before me I was like, "oh that's going so fast I guess they aren't doing that this time." So I fully went in to just high-five and afterwards was lamenting that I didn't actually hold their hands more bc my newfound buddy was saying they did that with her. And this goes to show how much I legitimately was not processing the moment because when I watch my video back—at least with JoongDunk, sadly I can't see what happened with FK but I presume it was the same—THEY LITERALLY SHOOK MY HAND. Hands are being HELD! And I literally didn't know it until I got home 😂

Even though my camerawork didn't catch much of my own interaction, the same thing actually happened with my seatmate's video and because MY video was tilted to the left, I actually caught all 4 of her full interactions on camera, so I was glad at least that I could send it to her :) And she also cheered me up by skimming through frame-by-frame and pointing out things like "look right there, you can clearly see the second Khao looks at you" and "look First is reaching for your hand!" She made me feel better lol and now those frames will live on my blog forever. That said. I still do not feel like I have actually ever been directly perceived by them. Like idk sounds fake if you ask me. I did eventually feel a lovely sense of connection with them though, and that was later—from the crowd. We'll get there.

As the four were leaving the stage post-hi-touch, there was a very fun moment where Khao turned back towards auditorium and everyone watching and gave a cute sassy lil smooch at us all. Hehe.

They soon came back for autographs and what we hadn't expected was that we got to just. Stay in the audience. And look at them during it! So we chatted and commentated and I used the time to journal a bit too. There was also this lady on staff who was. To be honest. So irritable lol. Every time there was a new instruction her go-to was to just yell it angrily at us. She very quickly got fed up with phones and during the autograph session was like everyone put your phones away you cannot record!!! which was kinda funny bc nobody we saw was actually. Recording? Just being on their phones? She did not seem to care, and instead yelled something like "people paid for this!!" to which we (a few of us in neighboring seats) sorta joked quietly with each other "yeah and we're "people"! we paid for this." Idk maybe she was having a rough day. benefit of the doubt and all that.

Apparently one of the other security members was laughing about the whole thing as it went on and felt more absurd. But anyhow, photo ops came next so we got in line! and chatted with the nice people who were next to us. also the whole time they were playing other OSTs and thai songs as background music (when sadistic came on later during a game segment of the show Joong started doing the dance moves hehe) and that was nice bc I kept recognizing songs from different shows which made me feel very happy and in my element. While we were all in the photo-op line a Pluto OST came on and I had to geek aloud about that for a moment. xD

So, PHOTO OPS

It again felt so fast. My seatmate friend was in the same photo as me and we were both happy about that! We stood behind the boys who were all seated in chairs. I was kinda lost for what to do. I was just staring at the backs of their hair, low-key wishing I could see their faces for a moment because that felt more assuring. I had no idea how to pose or what to do, but mostly I was distracted by the fact that I was right next to Dunk's shoulder. Like RIGHT THERE. Like wut? And I was distracted by the vague passing thought "i could put my hand on his shoulder" but my actual thinking brain kicked in .02 seconds later and reminded me that that is Not A Thing To Do because Boundaries which I Care About lol and then I was like ok back on track what do you do in a photo and then I looked up and was like Ah Yes you Smile in a photo and by the time I remembered this I think they were already taking the picture so I'm fairly certain that I'm probably in the midst of starting to smile and making some uncertain confused in-between face lmao. Wish me the best on that but I will honestly be surprised if it turned out good lolol. They were rushing us through like crazy so I think a lot of us weren't really ready or expecting the moment the took the picture. But tbh I also don’t think they counted down for us? Then off we went...

Earlier my friend had told me how she'd told First "i love you" in the Hi-Touch and how he'd said it back and I'd been like, ohhh if I ever do another one of these I SHOULD SAY THAT. Because, you know. And then I was like, to heck with it I'm just gonna say it as I leave the photo op if I can. So I did, as I was walking off, and while he didn't say it back First did fully turn in his seat to see who spoke, looked right at me and I think said thanks and gave me a wai because I think I gave him a wai first but again y'all. My memory. Doesn't work. Head empty.

We returned to the crowd to watch the remainder of the photo-ops. For one photo, Dunk lifted an arm and flexed his muscles and a bunch of the crowd started yelling. Very funny.

Around the photo-op time, things also took a bit of a turn. If you know anything about this meet you might think I'm about to bring up First—but I'm actually not. (Yet.) I am talking about JOONG.

Who as the photos progressed, looked SO freaking done. With just, everyone and everything. He looked so tired y'all. We were like, someone give this boy a nap. Give this man a BLANKET and send him to SLEEP. So yeah, Joong looked SOOO tired and like he just wanted to go home. Maybe people were pushing boundaries up there, maybe he was just sleepy, maybe it was the staff rushing everything so fast—I have no idea. (For some photos even the boys weren't quite ready, in one First was kinda confused like 'wait we're done already?') But like, people were trying to engage Joong in poses and he was actively just. Ignoring them. Kinda too bad, though I'm not judging him. They'd been running for so many days in a row. Jet-lag plus multiple planes and three fanmeets in three countries in a few days, being up early for NYC meet and interacting with so many people all day long... god it must be a lot. I could never. By the time the 4:1 photos came around he seemed to be feeling a little better about things though and got into the groove again. Looked like he started having some fun.

But also, remember the angry staff lady? Yeah well at this point she was apparently up-to-here with it bc she yells at the crowd from the stage, where she is standing a few feet from First [they must've been between group and 4:1 bc he was standing] that if she saw one more phone outside of a bag she would remove that person from the room (might've implied 'and not let you back' i don't recall.) And poor First is just standing there with this lost lil startled look on his face that conveyed a combination of "you intimidate me" and "...what are you doing to my fans?"

But back to the fun stuff. Joong, who as I said was having fun again, did a pose with this girl who asked to stare into his eyes and he leaned SOOO close to her face and they're just staring at each other all firey-like and the whole crowd went wild for it haha. Good for her. xD Also I never noticed Dunk is taller than Joong but, he is!

Annnnd this is the point that I wrote in my notebook that "First looks sleepy now too... Something happened with First..."

He started using one of those scent inhalers from his pocket and vaguely looked like he was feeling allergic to something. We were actually speculating that it had something to do with all the perfume in the air, because even in the crowd some of us were having a little bother breathing due to the levels of it building up from all the attendees. This was apparently not the case though. Anyway, he was really not looking good and it was getting more and more obvious. Then all of a sudden, as the Shot to the Heart people (you know, those people who paid $100 for a 4:1 polaroid. This is not a judgement. If they didn't sell out in 6 seconds I might have got one too let's be real) are waiting in line to get pics, his cast-mates take his shoulders and walk him off stage. We were obviously really worried about him and hoping he was okay. So all four boys had left, and there was no word at all from staff about what was going on for a long time, either. Everyone was left rather confused and very concerned for him.

Eventually they all came back, all of them looked much more refreshed. First didn't look 100% better but he did look a LOT better. First was very apologetic. Joong looked WAY more energetic. They also all had gum or mints or smth now. Glad they got a rest break and some food/water probably.

When the photos were done and they left the stage for real, Joong hovered around one of the staff and was checking out his tattoos with much interest.

We took the next opportunity to go use the restroom and buy overpriced water etc but also to get me a freebie that was at a front table in the lobby that I hadn't seen before. Because, okay— the girl I met showed me what she got there and I was LOSING IT laughing. So when she said there was plenty more out there, I had to get one. Y'all, Joong would love this bahaha. Someone tweet him a photo of one.

I was like oH GOD. HELP. it was so funny. it's awful and it's wonderful. and they put it on a napkin. on a NAPKIN. oh my goddd stop

Alright moving on 😂 it turned out my seatmate friend had been in the wrong seat by accident, so sadly we couldn't watch the show together but that was okay, we had something else to focus all our attention on, after all. Thus, it was back to my seat (10th row can you believe it??) for the moment everyone had been waiting for......

THE SHOW.

The show was my favorite part. Hands down. It was during that time that I immediately knew this had been the best decision of my life.

Now, I am usually referred to as a quiet person. I can get a little loud if I'm being silly and having fun, but all in all, I am still—generally speaking—a sort of Quiet Person. When I tell you I SCREAMED MY LUNGS OUT. Full disclosure! I have actually never screamed at an event ever! I was like, I am here and I'm having a blast and I am going to go FULL fangirl mode and show these boys ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD.

Like, I get it now. I get why the boys love a loud audience. It was so fun. There was such a connection between them and the crowd, it was a way of communicating y'know? To answer their questions and respond to what they were doing and to show support and it was just so so lovely, and the vibes in the room were immaculate and hyped and happy and glorious—and FKJD were there and amazing and sharing this moment with us—and I don't have words to fully express how magical the whole thing was. I was on a high from it the whole time. I get concert people now.

The opening song when the lights went up had only Joong, Dunk and Khao at the start so I was a little worried about First, but he ran on soon after, just in time for his verse.

I'd learned as many lyrics as I could the night before and that morning, and actually managed to slide my way through a lot more than i expected. Anything I didn't know I just faked very well or cheered pff. I'd focused especially on Destroy Love with lyrics learning—which was soooo much fun to scream along with Khao. He did so well—they all did—all their singing was soooo good, and he was having such fun being a rockstar up there, of course, and the energy was great.

I had also focused on learning My Fuel. I actually knew some of that chorus already. Again, I didn't have all of it down but I scraped along my very best. I love First's song and it's his first solo OST so you knowww I had to give this one my best. Especially knowing First hadn't been feeling well, I gave that song extra. We cheered so hard earlier for him too, because he was apologizing for causing delays and ofc we only cared that he was okay and wanted him to know that. I was determined to be part of a crowd that made that boy feel loved, which very much worked . And LET ME TELL YOU, there are few better feelings than making First Kanaphan feel loved, I have to say. I get you, Khao. I get you. And bruh First got so emotional over it. I think that's when Khao said, "shoutout to my man, First Kanaphan." Atp First was just sobbing.

Ok back to My Fuel— Khao comes on stage to join him near the end, their first duet of the evening. And two seconds in, right after walking on, Khao just drops down his mic and starts crying. First walks right over to him and embraces him and it was really sweet. Look I figured they might cry at some point but I wasn't expecting it so soon haha. (Btw did they cry during the Brazil and Mexico meets? I wouldn't be surprised. Someone tell me lol)

Then Khao is like singing while choking back tears and First tries to join back in but can't and keeps giving up and they sung a little but eventually they just gave up and were all emotional together as the background track played. Afterwards they were like "sorry guys" but. We are here for them and the FirstKhao-ness of it all. That's one of my favorite recordings I took lmao.

There were talking segments that were a lot of fun, JoongDunk are SO HILARIOUS AND ENTERTAINING OMG. I loved them. (All of them, Joong included, were also in very great spirits for the whole show.) I do wish FK would've talked more, I think they didn't bc of the language barrier perhaps but they were really set on speaking English. But I enjoyed every moment nonetheless.

Joong was asked about the NYC fans and he said "you're all such pretty people" and said "I love your outfits and your makeup." <- circling back to that Hi-Touch moment—for the sake of my little fashion soul—I will be believing that I was included in this statement. (look it's not THAT unlikely okay. I mean a lot of people came up to compliment my outfit so i have some social proof here!! lol. thank u btw <3 I was also complimented by a totally random girl in the grand central bathroom on my way home which was very sweet hehe.)

So anyway I will be taking this compliment from Joong as if I were in his mental target-audience. I mean we can't prove i wasn't... Joong called me fashionable and pretty so there. 😂💖 And being funny as he is, Joong followed his compliment to the crowd by adamantly telling us, "you ATE" !!

(Speaking of eating, they also explained that First had been feeling nauseous earlier, Joong said it was bc of food or something. Thankfully he looked a lot better when the show came around. The whole thing was also delayed half an hour so maybe they got some extra rest during that time as well. Also we got so little info when it was running late like. First, he's fine. But fanmeet management could've been better ngl)

The boys were asked about their dream roles, and Joong was like "First should answer first. Because he's First." Haha. So First answered first and said "I would like to be a cat or a dog, so I can just go *meoooow* or *ruff ruff* and not need to learn a script" LOL. Khao was next and said, gesturing at First, "my dream role, I would like to be this cat's manager." 😂

Dunk brought back the prince on a horse thing and said he wants to find and fall for a mermaid that is pretty and cute (Joong) who in response, immediately sung the melody from the Little Mermaid (y'know the one where she loses her voice or whatever.) That was really funny. Joong then said his real answer is to be in a musical so he can perform in "a place like this" and he looked very bright-eyed at the setting all around us (remember how pretty the place was? yeah.) and then he showed off his very talented singing with funny snippets of different operas and stuff hehe.

When asked how they needed to prepare for their THK roles, Khao's response by some logic was "I needed to prepare for P'Kant's tattoos. They look really cool... On his body."

Dunk said he needed to practice saying "good morning, krap!" every day and he and Joong did a funny riffing about that and then tried making us all say it in the audience and were like no no no your delivery is all wrong. Dunk also added, "OH! And the crop tops!" and said he had never expected to wear crop tops before ha.

There were some different little games with the audience, one girl won and got to go up on stage with them for a bit. They had more lovely performances and Q&As. It was so so good. At some point they did an MSP song which I didn't expect but it's actually in one of my playlists so I was able to sing along with all the rest, everyone was super jazzed for that and based on the sound levels I think more people knew the words for it too.

Eventually it was time to say goodbye and it felt like the time went by so fast !!

The lights went down and that was that 🥺

I recorded everything so that'll be up on my vidding youtube very soon. I made sure to not watch through the screen though, i wanted to focus on how everything looked right in front of me and on experiencing that. just glanced up every so often. so the cam might drift from time to time? but from what I can tell it didn't do that for the most part so yay. It might not be the most high res but it's not crazy far from the stage either. play it small and it'll look fine haha

I had chatted with that girl from earlier and we planned to take the subway together instead of walking alone there, so I ended up with her and a bunch of other girls she met who were all super nice. First we hung outside the venue for a bit with the crowd, one chipper staff member wanted everybody in a video for starstruck media (oh speaking of podcasts, earlier on in the day I had a question for a volunteer and went up to ask two of them before realizing it was the two girls from the 'let's talk bl' podcast haha so I told them I recognized them.) Anyway then this dude was like "don't tell anybody I did this" (sorry man you'll never guess what I'm about to do) and did a yell call thingy so we all called it back and then he beeline ran back into the building, but some ppl caught his name so we all kinda just started yelling it and then he came back out and took a video smiling and twirling around in a circle of random concert-goers who continued chanting his name. All to say, everyone was in a VERY good mood after the concert and also VERY not tired of screaming about things. 😂 (as you might have guessed, my voice is rather rough today but fam I DO NOT CARE) We also got more freebies given to us, I got handed a little print of Joong, the one where his shirt is unbuttoned lmao and everyone around me was being jealous of what i got pff

Then I went off with concert-friend-girl and all the other girls and we spent like 30 minutes on the subway laughing and talking about how great the concert was and talking about FK and JD shows. There was one girl on the subway who had obviously gotten a freebie print from the same person I did at the end, and hers was of Joong but as Fadel in the THK scene where uhhhh. Well the one where he does a strip tease. And she had it. Taped. To her forehead. So whenever we looked over he was just staring at us and we couldn't help but laugh and she laughed too. I would've gone to dinner with the group but it was getting late and y'all I wasn't in bed until 2am as it was. So instead I said bye and they gave me advice on how to travel where I was going. On next subway, I was sat next to a girl who also got off at my stop and as we left the train I noticed we both had concert posters and we were like omg wait you came from there too?? so then we walked together for a while and gushed about it all. (social anxiety WHO. this event did something to my soul. i was thriving. usually i'm a shy extrovert but we really dropped the shy yesterday)

And then when I got home I gushed all over again to my family and showed them a bunch of videos xD

Back when I bought this ticket I sort of thought of it as an early birthday present for myself (i mean i would've gotten it regardless but) and when I tell you I could not have had a better gift EVER.

I MISS IT ALREADY AND I MISS THE BOYS ALREADY !!

If they ever come back, I will go in a freakinggggg HEARTBEAT. The way I just want to go to every event they have from now on ha. I'm not even kidding when I say I think this was perhaps the most fun and happy event I have ever been to ever. The amount of joy I got from this PLEASEEE. Literally when we were outside the venue I was smiling and jumping up and down from all the happy energy that I could not contain xD

I loved it so much and I love them !! We got such a great show from them and what felt even happier was the sense that we made it a great show experience for them in return. They seemed very touched. I'm so happy that venue was so full of love for them all. And god we need a way for FKJD to keep performing together make this happen somehow ! this era is unparalleled ! (as if we don't know this already) I feel so lucky to have gotten a ticket.

Anyway. This is probably sooo long at this point. This was such such a treasured memory and I wanted to write it out in full. If you came this far, thank you for reading hehe. I hope they come back to NY someday and I cannot wait for it <3

okie. off to go edit some footage together. maybe i'll share some fav moments individually on here too, some of the ones I mentioned in this post. :)

[genericpuff]

Is going to animation school worth it? I’ve always wanted to go. I’m curious of your opinion on the subject.

whoof, that's a loaded gun of a question LOL and honestly not one I can really answer because the 'worth' is largely based on what your goals are.

The animation program I took was only a year long, the school was admittedly not the best but despite that, I still learned a lot because I fortunately had an instructor who had years of experience working in the industry for various productions and companies (including Nelvana, Disney, and Warner Bros). Most of the value I got out of it was extended specialized learning that broke me out of the comfort zones and bad habits I had developed throughout my teen years.

That said, I never actually entered the animation industry beyond that, I'd have to do a LOT of catch-up work (and possibly have to go back to school again) if I wanted to get back into it seriously. But I kind of learned the hard way (and the expensive way) that animation wasn't the field for me. Despite that, my work improved a lot thanks to what I learned, and learning that I didn't like doing animation as a profession was just as much a valuable and necessary learning experience as learning what I did like - storyboarding, creating comics, etc.

I don't regret going to animation school but I do wish in hindsight I had done more research on the schools I was considering so I didn't end up going to one that would inevitably wind up being useless in the long term (literally, that school isn't even around anymore, I have no clue how to get my hands on my old transcripts or certificates anymore and as far as the industry is concerned I may as well just have never gone to college LMAO) Alas, that's unfortunately a shared experience for many like myself who were pushed into college from the moment they graduated high school :p

And all that was ten years ago, whether or not it's worth it nowadays, well... the animation industry definitely hasn't been kind to the people working in it, it's a cutthroat and competitive industry. I would say above all else, if you plan on going to any sort of art school, always have a plan B. There's no shame in working a non-art job to pay the bills so that you can make your art in your downtime.

Animation especially is an industry made up of all different kinds of folks, from professionally trained to self-taught. It's fortunately a skill that's become a lot more accessible thanks to the advent of affordable drawing software and tablets and mobile devices, so your options aren't restricted solely to post-secondary schooling.

All that's to say, if you do want to go to school for it, great! A lot of the skills people want to learn can be learned separate from school, but with school the path to learning is a lot clearer and more structured, which can make a huge difference especially if you don't want to be learning in the dark for years on end. Plus an animation diploma will at least give you a little more of an edge in your resume.

But, above all else, make sure you have a plan. Don't feel pressured to go to school and take on debt you can't afford just because that's the expectation. Don't rush yourself into any specific life path, trust your gut and recognize what you enjoy doing vs. what you don't. Remember that there are other options outside of "don't go to school" and "go to school", you can also just as simple attend community colleges, local classes, groups, etc. all of which are viable options especially if you're not sure if you want to commit time and expense to 2+ year schooling.

For some people, animation school is absolutely worth it. For others, not so much. Whichever camp you fit into isn't something that I can determine for you, it's only something you can determine through experience which you can only gain by going out and trying things.

Good luck!

[grandpa-swamp]

rambling about my thoughts of Waelin becoming (and being separated from) Sheogorath here as these thoughts came to me between dreams last night lol:

I’ve been thinking a lot of how madness would overtake Waelin and what that could look like, because him becoming that kind of… quirky character that is traditional Sheo doesn’t sit right with me. Knowing how serious and grim he can be his madness would reflect that tenfold, an almost eldritch and quiet insanity. He’d probably be largely silent, rarely speaking, only muttering one-word responses or whispering incomprehensible maybe-truths into mortal ears. But more in line with madgod tradition his impulsivity would be dialed to 11, often making serious decisions and irrevocable disasters occur on a whim- cuz he ‘felt like it.’ But all this with a completely straight, deadpan face, hardly even laughing at or enjoying his own acts of insanity.

He’d go blind (literally and metaphorically), losing sight of the noble knight he ever was. He’d be so sedentary that he’d go years without moving from his seat in the Shivering Isles. His ‘favorite’ pastime would probably just be watching the mortal world fall to shit without him around, eager to see if one day it’d all just end before his very face. He’d screw with mortals every now and then, mostly his own worshippers for bothering him by means of prayer or summoning. Hell he might have even had a hand in the Void Nights (which correct me if I’m wrong but there is no definitive reason for this event I think?) but given how much I like to draw comparison of Waelin to Lorkhan I think it’s a fun little connection.

Oh but I think he’d set his sights on completely fucking with his fellow Daedric Lords even more in traditional Sheo fashion. Especially any lord who has fucked with him in the past, like Mehrunes and Azura. Just whatever he could do to spite them all, to infiltrate their plans and wreak havoc to their worshippers.

None of the Daedra would recognize him as the man he was before, none but Hermaeus Mora- who would know his past and glimpses of his future (esp way down the line with being Dragonborn and with Miraak). Herma would probably be the only one to not outright despise Sheo-Waelin, instead interested in learning about the man he was before and what drove him to his circumstances. It only makes sense to me, that the Lovecraftian ripoff prince would be on better terms with the Prince of Madness than the rest lol. Not that Sheo-Waelin would give a shit, only entertaining that mass of eyes and tentacles cuz he had fuck else to do.

And then of course this fun all being cut relatively short when Waelin is returned to his mortal form, when the world does actually need him again. This could have been divine intervention, or simply a mechanic of bearing the hero’s soul (starting a new game, in typical self aware ES fashion). He doesn’t know. He just woke up in that dang cart, still blind, but with a decently clear head, picking up where he left off mentally right before he mantled Sheo.

Obv this is up to every persons interpretation, but in Waelin’s case I think he was blessed as Dragonborn right then and there. Of course this coming as the biggest insult to him for a variety of obvious reasons. Perhaps Waelin’s return to Tamriel was by the hand of Akatosh himself, not only to pay penance for his shirking of duty, but to give him a chance to properly move on. But as I’ve said in other posts he is not happy to be back and almost wants to let the world end around him, still retaining that apathy from when he was a Daedric prince. But thankfully he meets the right people to push him along and get the job done.

Worth mentioning that his split from Sheo was not a clean cut, more like a halving of their spirits. That’s just how I explain why the Sheo you meet in Skyrim still retains memories of being HoK, but acts more like the typical madgod having lost the aspect of Waelin’s personality. Yet still retaining that blindness, Sheo doesn’t recognize (or maybe he does?) Waelin when they meet again, and vice versa in a way. Though they have each other’s memories, they hardly see the other as themselves, and move on as such.

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! :3

[warrior-of-storms]

Okay but do you know what really gets me?

There's no one left in-universe who can or will talk about Jaybin as he really was.

Bruce is the founder of the Jaybin Slander Department;

Alfred is no better.

Dick wasn't around much, didn't know him that well.

If Barbara ever interacted with him in his original run, I haven't found it yet.

I mean, he had some interactions with the Teen Titans, but was he really close with any of them?

I suppose Gordon could, assuming he isn't in on the Jason-bashing. I haven't seen it but I could be missing something.

And, well, Jason... somehow, I don't think anyone's asking Jason what he was like as a kid, nor is he really a reliable source. Autobiographical memory is weird.

No one in-universe will ever really talk about this bright, friendly, eager kid, and it's a tragedy.

He was smart and clever and had so much compassion.

He wanted so badly to help people, and he found joy in his work as Robin.

He had a dramatic flair and he was kind of a nerd and he was really funny on occasion.

He was so deeply, fundamentally good, and the fact that somehow his legacy has been twisted into one of anger and recklessness is honestly a crime.

It makes me so desperately sad that there's not a single character who can even start to undo the lasting damage of a four-decade smear campaign against a kid who did nothing to deserve it.

[styxxsyringe]

yeah boy and doll face

[burningcheese-merchant]

Can you write more about Golden Cheese and Herald of Change Au, I've been starving for more, please 🙏

It's really funny that you ask this now, because I've actually been working on the prologue/first chapter of this AU recently and am hoping to finish the draft this weekend, and then post the chapter soon after 👀 your timing is impeccable haha

I'll give you a few crumbs because I don't want to spoil anything important even though I really want to waaaaahhhhhh

Past Burning Spice (or Herald of Change) calls Golden Cheese "little dove" as opposed to just "little bird". There's a reason for it, but I won't say what it is yet. You'll see why in the story

Past Burning Spice/Herald of Change is actually seen as quite the heartthrob. Incredibly handsome and thrice as strong. Intelligent and jovial. Selfless, heroic, larger than life. A god amongst men in more ways than one. But he hardly ever notices anyone's attention/affection, and when he does, he always turns them down; he's not interested in romance. Doesn't really see the point. Seems kind of fanciful, honestly. Hunting and fighting are more fun. Or... that's how he thought of it, before his little dove appeared. Now he suddenly sees what the fuss is about...

I cannot stress how absolutely, unequivocally jarring it is for Golden Cheese to see Burning Spice like this. She only knew him as a bloodthirsty monster. Now he's a warm, kind leader and guide, loved and worshiped by all. Whiplash doesn't begin to cover it. Never mind that he keeps... smiling at her. And going out of his way to talk to her and spend time with her. And... ugh, is he flirting with her? What is going on? The audacity! In both the past AND the future! Some things never change, it seems

Golden Cheese gets encouraged to give Past Spice/Herald a chance, more than once, by... someone or another. I won't say who

Past Spice/Herald seeks romantic advice from... someone or another, won't say who. It really goes to show how badly he wishes to win her over, though

He's quite touchy-feely, especially with her (she doesn't like it but he's persistent). Something you'll see him do in particular is cup her chin and run/brush his thumb over her lips. A simple gesture that's meant to be sweet and adoring (and becomes extremely important later on in the story, trust me. No I will not explain)

They do go on at least one (1) date. No, you do not get to know what happens. Buuuuut I'll say that it's not perfect. (But it goes better than one would expect)

She does... warm up to him. Slowly. Accidentally. No, she isn't happy about it... at least for a while. Who would've thought his charms would actually work on her...

Timekeeper is having a fucking blast watching all of this go on, this is her new favorite soap opera, she is SO glad she made this decision, she can worry about the massive consequences later

[slayerdurge]

Durgetash Resurrection AU

"Is that...? That's my body. I remember now. The Morphic Pool. The Elder Brain, it... I was dead. What did you do?" "I made a deal... with Lord Bane."

[iknowwhereyousnoozeatnight]

they needed a shorter chain tbh

[statementlou]

Tbh i am not surprised that a person who openly talked about having drinking problems since 1d days, because of how crazy 1d worked has been agressive. What surprises me is people being surprised (they never seriously saw drunk person?). But i am also confused about this whole book. Apparently Maya said that that book is not fully bout Liam but compilation about her exes and some of the worst parts are not about him. But recently she said that the book is “ofc about him” so what is true then? Or did she meant it that ofc some parts are about him or that whole book is about him?

Sorry, just confused

I also am not surprised- we've learned so much more about the real stories of things and about the guys' actual lives over the last years, and the story that has unfolded around Liam has been totally consistent throughout if you've been following it, and so the information Maya is telling us is shocking and upsetting but not difficult to believe. I got an anon yesterday saying they were worried about getting similar revelations about the other boys, like "if Liam could be doing this we just don't know, any of them could", and while in a way that's always true I guess, anyone could be doing anything in private like... that doesn't really concern me. Because none of these Liam revelations are coming out of nowhere, there have been many MANY steps along the way leading us here if you've been watching, and he has talked openly about both his mental health struggles and his addiction issues. So to answer that anon... to find out something similar about Louis would in contrast contradict everything we know about him and no I'm not worried about it. Is he an abuser or a loose cannon, well that news would truly shock me to my core, I will be honest. But anyway as for the book I don't find it strange that she was nervous when it came out and treading lightly and later decided, fuck it. In the absolutely on point tiktok she dropped today (YES👏GIRL👏FUCKING TELL THEM👏) she even mentions attempts to keep her from publishing the book, presumably by Liam's team, that I am riveted by and cannot WAIT to hear more details about actually- like I said I don't find it at all strange that she was nervous and downplayed it a bit then. But if she says now that it's just about Liam, well, I would say it's been clear from the beginning that the book is their story. Maya herself brought up the parallel of songs being written about stuff and I think it's the same thing; it's true (she was in an abusive relationship that involved certain kinds of events) but maybe not 100% literal (I'm sure details were changed to make the story work, it's not like a word for word timeline of their interactions or whatever).

[bbbartblog]

That damned smile ✨

[italyveneziano]

I can be trusted with RPG Maker

[kashilascorner]

Oh ok. I get now why a lot of people didn't vibe with the ending.

All and all: excellent manga, overall very good final act, too rushed final 2-3 chapters but weak and honestly mediocre epilogue, which makes the high of the ending kind of leave a bitter taste. I think Noda had a good steed and suddenly he had to finish and had to rush all. So the ending in the sense of the final arc was good but the ending proper (final couple chapters) + epilogue......... Not so much

[angeldogart]

Wip I gave up on lol

I was having trouble making that one hand look good, so I just gave up lol.

Ran outta motivation TwT

[slayerdurge]

i gotta say i do love durge & minthara just standing in the corner cheering on astarion as he ascends. best enablers in baldur's gate. 💖