#androcur

[everythingissomewhatrepaired]

Here is a comic about being cold. Thanks as ever to the wonderful angels who support the comics. If you want to join them linktr DOT ee SLASH tomorjudy

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Everything is Somewhat Repaired: Why am i so cold? CW: Meds

Winter is here and you would need a geologist to count the layers I'm wearing. (alt: A mountain with rock layers wearing a scarf. Fossils in the rock layers, a dinosaur skull and spine, a fern and a trilobite.)

1. My T blockers are repurposed blood pressure medications, meaning that they're are lowering my normal blood pressure, meaning my fingers and toes are pale little ghosts. (alt: a raised hand with a red watch band, the fingers have become blob ghosts)

2. I blasted all the insulating fur off my face with lasers. (alt: A 1950's looking ray gun shooting a red laser beam.)

3. Or is it all an elaborate excuse to have your frozen ghosts warmed up in the hands of a hot blooded cutie? (alt: holding hands, one hand blue and one hand red)

[maranull]

this isn't headache, this is headpain

i'm in pain

[loserbigsis]

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

[azulcrescent]

Hi, it may be a little personal but how do you even get hrt appointments in Myanmar. I'm just curious. I don't know how one can get the prescription. I also wished for your good luck in current Myanmar situation. I'm also from Myanmar so I know how tiring it must be for you too.

I debated whether to send this through dms, but im going to answer this as an ask in case other people from Myanmar are wondering how to get HRT. There are no doctor approved ways you can get HRT so it pretty much has to be done DiY. There *is* a clinic that has experience helping trans women, but its not entirely a gender clinic, more so helping sex workers get blood tests and what not, and you can check you Testosterone and estrogen levels there. Its called "Ma Bay Dar" (you can search on facebook for their info and you need to make an appointment), and to actually get HRT pills, you either order them online from "Sunflower Whitening IV/Drip Wholesale & Retail" or go to a beauty saloon called "Hla Po Po" whose owner sells the HRT pills. The pills that you will have access to are Progynova (estradiol valerae) and Androcur (cyproterone acetate). Hope this helps. And yes, living here is exhausting. Good luck to you too, and to anyone else from MM who might be reading this lol

[finallystefania93]

Androcur made me soft

[collectivenothingness]

also sitting on like two years worth of androcur and she would have prescribed me another 400 days worth of it if I hadn't told her I don't need more atm... but the estrogen and progesterone have to be exactly enough for exactly 90 days.

[babehog]

It's so crazy that it hasn't entered the public conscience yet, all that the CIA tried to do Fidel Castro. They hid their operatives in bushes around his private estate and shot darts with 4mg estradiol, 1mg androcur at him everyday for 4 months and this is all public knowledge

[transitjournal]

MtF HRT Hierarchy

This one covers MtF HRT only, FtM HRT deserves it's own blog. Here's a quick information handwritten by me. From now, I'll use those abbrevations;

CPA = Cyproterone Acetate

E2 = Estradiol

P4 = Progesterone

T = Testosterone

AA = Antiandrogen

E2

Common brand names; Estrofem, Progynova, Cyclo-Progynova, Delestrogen, Estradot

First things' first, Estrogen is very important thing, and without it feminization is almost impossible. There are four types of estrogens, Estrone, Estradiol, Estriol, Estetrol. Estradiol is the most potent one and found in higher levels in women of reproductive age. We have to take estradiol. Estrone usually is found higher levels in post-menopausal women, and it only provides very very little (almost nonexistent) feminization. When you take estradiol orally, some of it is converted to estrone by your liver. So it's important to check your estradiol-to-estrone ratio with your endo to get sufficient feminization. If you are taking E2 injections or sublingually, it's probably E2 Valerate, which is less potent than E2 Hemihydrate (but it's good, since you're probably taking higher doses of it and it skips liver in those administrations). E2 Hemihydrate is recommended for oral administration since it's more potent, and bioavailability is reduced since it's being processed by liver. So it's important to get more potent form of E2 if you take it orally. E2 Cypionate is very similar to E2 Valerate, and it's usually found in intramuscular/subcutaneous injections. If E2 Valerate injections in your local pharmacy are out of stock, you can get E2 Cypionate they basically do the same thing.

AA

Common brand names; Aldactone, Androcur, Proscar, Propecia, Casodex

An antiandrogen may seem like eye candy, but it's important for us girls to suppress our gonadal function. So that way, we can use less dose of E2 to get sufficient feminization. An antiandrogen, depending on what type of AA it is, usually suppresses your gonadal production of Testosterone and Dihydrotestosterone and prevents your androgen receptors from absorbing them. Every kind of it does it different though. CPA is known for both reducing T production and nuking androgen receptor function, can also be used in very low doses to have effect. Due to stupid regulations of FDA, this drug is not available in the United States, leaving trans folks there with only three other options; Spironolactone, Bicalutamide and Finasteride. Finasteride, as much as I know, only blocks the potent form of T called DHT (Dihydrotestosterone) which is only acts on skin, hair follicles, prostate gland and testicles. It does not stop or block the effects of testosterone, so it's not really what we actually want. Bica and Spiro, unfortunately does not reduce T levels, but they block androgen receptors so the T and DHT in your body is moving freely, without binding to receptors and I think it's better than nothing. Those ones is the most with side effects, so it's important to read what others experiencing, share with others and talk to your endo about it. Also, most AAs are known to cause vitamin B12 deficiency, and B12 deficiency is a serious thing. I suggest you to get your vitamin B12 levels checked if you are using AAs for longer period of time. I am not including GnRH antagonists, since technically they're not antiandrogens and I don't know much about them yet. You can get more information on r/asktransgender about GnRH antagonists if you'd like.

P4

Common brand names; DepoProvera, Depo-SubQ Provera 104, MPA, and Provera

This is the most controversial one, even in our community. Some say P4 does wonders for their breast growth, mental mood and even their sleep patterns. Some say it fixed their "cone" shaped breasts. Some say it didn't do nothing for their transition. The thing is, Progesterone is almost not present in adolescent cis girls, and it's function in trans women is very understudied. Progesterone is at peak levels at cis women aged 20-24. Personally, I think taking progesterone before your first 2-4 years of HRT is unnecessary, give your body time to adjust then you can add P4 to the mix (If you want). Since it's our second puberty, following the natural pattern of cis female puberty is more ideal for me. I think more funding is required for trans studies to see P4 effects on us girls. Feel free to share your thought about this!

T

This one is very rarely used in with us trans women. It is usually prescribed by request of patient, and 99.99% of time it's prescribed after surgical removal of gonads (Genital reconstruction surgery/vaginoplasty or orchiectomy). The target is to reach cis female range of testosterone and retrieve some of libido, and mood changes like self-confidence. The effects of T in females is similar to effects in males, but some doctors don't agree with the fact T has to do with libido in females. If you're one of gals using it, feel free to share with me about your experience.

[reboot-a-transbian]

downing androcur with a pipeline punch already high because i woke up anxious abt school

[everythingissomewhatrepaired]

Here is a spooky comic. Thanks as ever to the glorious angels who support the comic. If you would like to join them you totally should.

linktr DOT ee SLASH tomorjudy

script:

Everything is Somewhat Repaired: Curses cw: meds, sleep

I recently started on a high dose of blockers again. These ones, spiro, make me sleepy. The last ones, androcur, made me sleepy and a thousand other unfortunate things.*

Before I started Medikinet, a slow release amphetamine for ADHD, It would get to the middle of the afternoon and I would have a total body shut down and have to pass out wherever I was.

I now occasionally get uncontrollably sleepy, only that little bit of morning speed, carries me through til about 19:30 AKA the cursed nap time.

I wake up after 2 hours at nearly 10pm, well rested and wondering who even invented "bed time" anyway.

*Everyone’s relationship to side effects are different and T-blockers can be very messy, or you know, Just chill! This is what happens when most trans healthcare is repurposed cis people medicine with underfunded research. But please remember: A leaky life raft is always better than outright drowning.

[maranull]

these days i'm playing the game of "am i tired from going to sleep later than usual for three nights in a row" or "is the androcur side-effects that quick to start hitting"

i better get used to this exhaustion soon or else i'll do nothing

[vivi266]

it's called androcur because it cures me of androgen

[preciouspuregarnet]

Things have been really tough for me lately. There's been a few things, so I guess I should start somewhere.

Around September last year I was put on androcur instead of Spirix. Due to the fucked up situation of trans healthcare in Norway, I'm thankfully getting hormones through my GP after starting up on private in March last year. Unfortunately my GP did not have a lot of experience with HRT, at least not for trans people. This caused her to read the values wrong on Spirix and I was getting too much potassium in my blood, since Spirx preserves it. What has ended up happening is that the androcur treatment has affected my life negatively. Both in terms of general well-being, emotions and sexual function. I am thankfully getting back on Spirix, which has already helped out with my sexual function, lust and sex drive. The damage has already been done, though. I'll be coming back to that.

This part might be really long, but I need to get this out somehow. I met a girl soon after, around October. At first we were just exchanging looks. She'd always been in my class, but I just did not notice her. We met formally at a gathering for our class. I noticed how she was looking at me, staring a bit at times. I looked at her and wondered if she was interested. I didn't say anything that evening.

I got to add her on Snapchat and eventually shot her a message, asking if she'd want to meet up for coffee. She was happy to, and we got to talking, found a good bit of common ground, got into some deep stuff early on. At the end of that, at the café, I ask her if she had been interested in me. She looked at me, a little shocked, saying "I didn't think I had a chance with you." It was incredibly flattering, even if a bit unfortunate she would think that way. We agreed I'd take her out on a date, and she was happy to. We'd meet here and there for class and so on.

Later we met up at a Halloween party, where I looked fly as fuck in my witch outfit. She was adorable in her Minion's outfit, of everything. Still funny to think about. When I found her, she was so happy to see me. I felt deeply appreciated. We had a lot of lovely looks and chit-chat before we headed into a room she was allowed in. This was in some student apartments. We sat down to talk, but got interrupted quickly by some friends of hers. An hour later, we're in her apartment, chatting and figuring things out.

She tells me she's not really looking for a relationship. And to elaborate she says "she doesn't feel like she has a lot to bring to the table" in terms of a relationship. Continuing, she also says she hasn't had good experiences being with other girls. While this brought me immense gender euphoria, I was saddened to hear this was the case. She had always felt like she had to hide it, and I knew that even if we weren't going to be a couple, I would not hide how I felt about her in front of others.

We slept together, but she wanted to sleep alone that evening. I respected that, of course, and we'd see each other later. We only became closer after that, and I started falling in love with her. I even dreamt we told each other that, but I was too scared to tell her. In hindsight, I feel maybe I should've just told her. We felt a lot of the same for each other, would share lovely compliments and words. We had something between a romantic relationship and a friendship. It wasn't quite either. I ended up wanting to tell her how I felt, but with her own struggles and in a hefty period of exams, I couldn't find the appropriate time. She had to move back home, due to complications with the studies. She decided to, rather. She did not stay for me, which I completely understand. I told her, before she left for the plane, and I drove her to the airport, "I know there's a good bit of practical stuff between us. I wish we had more time. And I wish we could've been more." She did not quite reply, but she was moved, and hugged me. We kissed a last time, and that was that.

After this, our communication worsened across social media. I tried to hold onto her, keep her close, but things did not work out well. The more time went on, the more distant and cold she became towards me. I understand now, and in the moment, she had a lot to deal with herself, and was working all the time. She'd only work and sleep. It hurt, even while I understood the situation. It was extremely stressful and straining for about a whole month. We had agreed to see each other last weekend. And we did, but it didn't quite turn out how I had anticipated.

We were supposed to spend the weekend together, but it ended up being an evening. A dinner at some restaurant, and then dessert at McDonald's. Meeting her again was unnerving and harsh. She was friendly, and I tried to be too. We had a nice chat during dinner. We cleared some stuff up, but the rough talk was to come. In a McDonald's. I paid for dinner and she got us McFlurries.

I could not have anticipated what she told me. Telling me about how she had felt when we were intimate. While everything was lovely at the time, she revealed some of the trauma she had been suffering from. As I said, I'd get back to the talk about hormones. The androcur had made things very difficult for me, even if I was completely satisfied with just pleasuring her. It did not work so well for her when I was not getting hard, and I had to use Viagra to function. And even then it wasn't working properly. The androcur, had in other words, ruined a lot of our time together and induced her with a terrible feeling of inadequacy. I felt awful and even shocked in the moment.

She also brought up the distance matter, as well as what sort of relationship we both need, and what we need out of one. Firstly, I did not get to tell her I was wanting to go back on Spirix, which for me worked very well when I was on it previously. Secondly, our experiences with long-distance was 10 years ago each, and we have both surely have matured a lot since then. Finally, I believe I have idealised what a relationship should be like, instead of adapting my expectations to the sort of relationship I could have with the other gal I find interest in. We did not get to talk about these things, as she had to go. She had slept 2 hours the night before and had worked that day.

Our goodbye hurt. We were both clearly moved by how it turned out. We agreed to continue being friends. I am not sure what she meant, as she has not been in touch with me, and I don't even know of she wants to see me again. She told me she loved me, and I told her I love her too (platonically). I am just.. very unsure now. I am giving things some time now, but I know I want to talk to her about these things. I am very confused as to what sort of friendship we have.

I am tired. So very, very tired. This whole period has drained me, and I feel indifferent or generally bad about things. It's difficult to enjoy things, and I worry I am going to suffer from depression again. Hormones have been really rough on me, starting back on Spirix on Monday. I feel lonely. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. Anything I work on is difficult to appreciate. Anything I try to spend time on in my spare time is hard to enjoy.

I don't know what to do. It is difficult to connect to my feelings after all this. Might be a defensive mechanism, to prevent further damage to myself. I am just waiting to get help from local and special health services. It might be a long while.

[loserbigsis]

Having run out of estrogen and only being on androcur and finasteride is definitely not doing wonders for my already barely existent sex-drive. Really not loving barely being able to get horny or stay hard!! Makes me wanna die even more to be completely honest! :)

[collectivenothingness]

deciphering the little letters to make sure the pill really is my antihistamine and not 50mg of androcur

[dianight]

Also doing some budget adjustments and it's insane how much cheaper it is per month when you have a prescription.

A box of androcur was 57€+ potential extra shipping costs. It was ~4,50€ here, can't remember exactly how much.

For valerate it was 0,30€ for a box that lasts ~10 days, so it's less than one euro per month instead of 30€. Last time I had to buy some other stuff so I didn't realize it was so cheap.

Unreal.