#andy loos

[pqnnier]

Diana, Goddess of the Hunt 🌙 as Depicted in the 18th Century

[alicewonderao3]

Making baby Hotchner

Title: Making Baby Hotchner

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x oc female character.

Characters: Aaron Hotchner, Jack Hotchner, Derek Morgan (briefly mentioned), oc female character, JJ ( briefly mentioned,) and Emily Prentiss, (briefly mentioned)

Summary: What happens when Jack not so innocently asks his step-mom and dad for a baby brother or sister?

Warnings: 18 plus, there is smut, p in v, office sex, breeding, oral sex (m receiving), minors do not interact, and anything else I missed.

Authors note: So I wrote this for a bingo challenge and am just now getting around to posting it. I am experimenting more with smut in my writing, so, that's new. I'm also feeling like crap, I spent last Friday in the ER and am still feeling like crap. My body hates me, so I decided to post this today. Also, I know the summary sucks, but the general gist is there. I combined the squares office sex and breeding for this one. I'm tagging @the-slumberparty, I know this is late, but here it is. I had no beta, so all spelling and grammar mistakes are mine. If I missed any tags or warnings, please let me know. Enjoy!

I hadn't thought much about my future until I married Aaron. Marrying Aaron meant that I got a stepson, and I loved taking care of Jack. He was adorable and we'd bonded right away. So while Aaron worked at the BAU and caught bad guys, I stayed home with Jack and took care of him. I took him to school, made his favorite meals and everything. 

I still remember the first time he called me Mama. Aaron was gone on a case and I was picking up Jack from school, waiting with the other moms out front. Those eyes of his, so much like Aaron's, lit up when he saw me, and my heart stopped when a large smile lit up his face as he called out, running towards me, "Mama!" 

He launched himself into my arms, and I hugged him tightly to my chest, barely managing to keep my tears inside as I took him home. Later that night, I passed on the news to Aaron, after I'd put Jack to bed. I was cuddled in our bed, and I said, "He called me mama today, Aaron." I said, my voice soft. I heard Aaron go silent a moment, and then he whispered. "Really? He did?" 

I nodded. "He did. About melted my heart and made me cry. I wasn't sure if it was a fluke or not, you know with all his friends there, but he kept it up when we got back." I settled against the pillows, wiping a tear away. I could hear the grin in Aaron's voice as he said, "Well, he's ready for that. I mean, you are technically his mom, and we had that talk with him last week, remember?" 

I nodded again. Just last week, before Aaron left on this new case, Jack had brought up what he could call me while we ate dinner. He'd asked if it was okay to call me something other than Alice, and Aaron had said it was up to him. I wasn't surprised that he was calling me Mama now after that. Jack knew that Haley was his mom, that I was just someone extra to love on him, and that I'd never take her place. 

Aaron was due home today, and I was waiting to pick up Jack when he came running out with one of his friends, calling me mama and launching himself at me. I scooped him up and hugged him tightly, kissing him as he introduced me to his new friend, Andy. Andy's mom was very nice, and Andy couldn't stop talking about how excited he was to be a big brother. 

Over the next few hours, I saw the wheels in Jack's head turning, and I knew he had something up his sleeve when he waited specifically for Aaron to come home before he said something. Aaron was mid-bite when Jack, without looking up from his mashed potatoes, said, "Daddy, when will you and Mama make me a big brother?" 

I don't know how I kept my chuckle in as Aaron practically almost choked on his chicken. I gently patted his back as he faced Jack, and asked, "A-a big brother?" I saw Jack nod. "Yeah. Andy's gonna be a big brother, why can't I?" Again, I had to fight the smirk that threatened to form over my lips as Aaron's eyes met mine and I gave him a look that clearly said he was on his own. 

Aaron was silent a moment and then I saw his eyes sparkle, and I knew this couldn't be good for me when he said, "Well, I can't make that choice by myself, Jack. Mama has to want to do that too." I saw his eyes sparkle as he poked a bite of chicken on his fork as if to say, 'How's that?' Jack then turned his attention to me, his voice soft and pleading, "Mama?"

I turned to face him, looking into those beautiful brown eyes, so much like his dads, as he asked, in his best pleading voice. "Will you make me a big brother, Mama?" I couldn't help it, and I met Aaron's gaze a moment, enjoying the way he almost choked on his water when I said, "Of course, Jack. A new baby might be nice." 

Jack was gleeful as he finished his dinner and set his plate in the sink, darting off to the living room to play as Aaron met my eyes and said, "Well played, honey." I nodded, taking a bite of chicken. "Yeah, and I'm sure we're gonna have lots of fun making baby Hotchner," I said, as I ran my fingers along his shirt, headed for the sink to clean up from dinner. 

So we started trying, and I started keeping track of my cycles, which meant that there were some days when I knew I was ovulating that I would pounce on Aaron when he got home in a bid to make a baby. 

There were a few hits and misses, but we kept trying. One day in particular, when I knew I was ovulating, I came by the office with lunch for him. Morgan pointed to his office, saying "He's in there. I'd be careful mama, he's in a bad mood." I shook my head, muttering under my breath. "Not for me, he's not, if he knows what's good for him." 

I heard Derek chuckle at my words and I walked in and closed his door as he said. "Whatever it is, just leave it on the desk and go, I'm bu-" I held the plate and raised an eyebrow at him. "Excuse me?" Aaron's eyes snapped up to mine and he sighed when he saw me. "Sorry, hon, I'm busy." 

I nodded, setting the plate on a side table, reaching over to close his blinds, and locked his door. "Busy? I can see that," I said, walking over to him, noting how tense he was as he focused on a file. "I think you need a little stress relief, honey," I said, as I turned his chair, ignoring his protest when I spun him to face me, as I dropped to my knees in front of him, pulling my curls back into a ponytail. 

My fingers nimbly undid his belt buckle as he huffed above me, an exasperated sigh leaving his lips. "Alice I don't have time-" But his voice suddenly stopped speaking as I started rubbing him through his briefs, tugging his half-hard cock out and clucking softly, before gently licking the underside of it, then wrapping my lips around his head, sucking gently. 

I heard him groan, his fingers wrapping around my ponytail as I wrapped my lips around his cock again, before sinking to my knees and sucking and moving my head in the pattern he liked, his protesting giving way to soft groans of pleasure. I pulled off and licked him, my other hand moving what I couldn't fit in my mouth, a cheeky grin on my face. "Oh, don't have time for what, baby?" 

I asked him, as his eyes darkened and he stared down at me. "Looks like you need some stress release, Daddy, and I'm all too happy to help you." I cooed, before wrapping my lips around his cock, my head moving up and down as I sucked him, hollowing my cheeks and moaning as his hands reached down all along my body. 

I kept going, teasing him, bringing him to the brink, and then pulling back, slowly watching the thread that was his self-control snap as he finally hauled me up to my feet, his lips finding mine. His voice was dark as he ordered me, "Bend over my desk. Now." I shivered at the command in his tone and did as he instructed, getting a slap on my butt for my earlier sass. 

I felt him push my skirt up over my hips and heard his groan again when he realized I wasn't wearing underwear. I knew he was close, and on the edge, and I wiggled my ass at him, my voice soft but bratty. "Are you gonna stare at my ass or are you gonna fuck me, Daddy?" I asked him, squealing when he smacked my ass again, and I bit my lips when he entered me in one smooth stroke, taking my breath away. 

He took me hard and fast against the desk, his voice dark and teasing as he fucked me senseless. "Oh, not so brave now, are we?" He said, his thrusts even and slow. "I don't know if I should let you cum, after you sassed me so much. What happened to that brat who walked in here and took command? You get one taste of my cock and just go dumb?" 

I couldn't do anything but groan, my fingers clutching his desk as he fucked me. Papers fell off his desk, the wood groaning under my weight as he slowly and steadily fucked me into it. His hand reached around covering my lips, his voice dark in my ear. "Quiet, sweetheart. Do you want the whole office to hear me in here, fucking you dumb?" He asked and I shook my head. "Good, that's a good girl." 

He picked his pace up and I bit my lips to stifle my sounds as he fucked me. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge, my walls clenching and fluttering around me as I neared my orgasm. "Come on, honey, let me in," Aaron said, as he reached around to rub my clit, sending me over the edge, and I clamped tightly around him as I came, his hand pressed tightly to my lips to keep my sounds inside, as he came inside me, pressing deep into me. 

I was breathing heavily as he sank over me, hauling me upright and placing me on his lap with shaky legs. He pressed a kiss to my temple, his voice soft." Are you okay, baby?" I nodded. "Oh, yeah," I said as I turned to meet his eyes. "How about you? Feel better?" He nodded. "Thanks." 

He let me up to fix my skirt and shirt and said as he tucked his softening cock back into his slacks. "What brought you to see me?" he asked, and I handed him a plate. "I made you lunch and came to tell you I'm ovulating, but then Derek said you were in a bad mood. So, I helped you feel better and maybe we've finally succeeded in making baby Hotchner." 

I chuckled and he shook his head. "Yeah, and in my office no less." I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, it's one thing off my list." Aaron dug into his plate, raising an eyebrow at me. "Wait, you're telling me you wanted me to fuck you in here?" I nodded. "Why not? Bent over your desk, having to stay quiet as you fuck me senseless? Sounds like the best thing to me, and hey, now that we've done it, maybe we can do it again." I said teasingly, leaning over to kiss him. 

He chuckled and I said, "Alright, I'm gonna go home. I have a few things to do before I go get Jack. I'll see you later. I love you." I said, and he nodded, kissing me again, "Love you too, Alice." He smacked my ass as I left, a warm, wide smile on my face as I left his office. I passed Derek where he was speaking with Emily and JJ and said, "I think you'll find Aaron's in a much better mood now." 

I heard the three chuckle as I walked out. I knew it'd probably take a few more times until we finally made baby Hotchner, but I knew I'd have fun doing it. 

[fw00shy]

today is the only day that matters

When Andromeda brought Teddy over to the Malfoy’s the first time, Harry tagged along, all six feet of him sulking with distrust. The Malfoys, once a family, was only Draco now — and Draco lived in a flat so that was where they sat, the four of them, crowded around the round table in the kitchen with their four mismatched cups of tea — Teddy’s exceptionally large in his child’s hands. Harry didn’t say a word but Teddy had mountains to say. He said how he liked his cup with the dragon that chased its tail, said the weather which was too hot, said hi to Draco’s cat. He had more to say the next time, and the next, and the next. He said Gramma Andy couldn’t come today but that was fine. He said he liked Draco’s flat and Draco’s tea, said it was better than Uncle Harry’s which was always stale, said it with his nose stuck up so high that Draco laughed, knowing in that instant this boy was his blood — and when he looked up, he saw Harry was laughing too.

“Uncle Harry doesn’t know how to laugh,” Teddy said to Draco when Harry excused himself to use the loo. “Is that so?” Draco said. Teddy nodded solemnly, his voice lowered to a conspiratorial whisper. “Yeah, he sounds like a troll that swallowed a toad.”

“I hear you talking about me,” Harry said, his voice down the hall but traveling closer. When he re-emerged in the doorframe, Draco saw a different man, a man who didn’t know how to laugh.

What else had the war taken from him? Joy? A family? Good tea? Whatever it was, Draco was determined to give it back.

[upat4amwiththemoon]

Victoria Hughes falls for the reader and becomes a stammering mess in front of her. The rest of station 19 finds this adorable and gets them together. A year or so later the team helps Vic pull off an epic proposal. Pure fluff please?

A mess of a human

Summary: The words leave right out of her mind.

Pairing: Victoria Hughes x female!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 1952

a/n: why hasn’t Station 19 been renewed for 7th season yet🤨

masterlists | guidelines

“Who is that?” Victoria taps Andy’s arm with one hand and points towards a woman talking with Carina.

Andy glances towards their way, “one of Carina’s doctor friends, she’s helping us with the clinic. Y/N Y/L/N, I think, why?” She turns to look at Vic, who is fully immersed with Y/N.

“No reason.” She whispers.

Y/N is holding a box of supplies brought from the hospital. Carina asked her to help out when the idea of a clinic at the fire station started, and of course she had to say yes. Helping people is the reason she became a doctor.

“Where should I bring these?” She takes a better grip of the box. It’s full of latex gloves and sheets for the examination chairs.

Humming, Carina looks around the barn. All the fire trucks have been taken out for the preparation of the clinic. “Take them to Victoria and Andy,” she points towards the two, who quickly look away when they notice this, “they’ll help you out.”

“Okay.” With a smile, Y/N starts walking towards them. “Hey, where should I bring this box?”

“I can take it.” Andy grabs it out of Y/N’s hands and sets it down to a table near them. “Thanks for helping out.”

“Of course. I’m Y/N, by the way.”

“Andy.” She smiles.

The two turn to look at Victoria, waiting for her to introduce herself. “Uh, right, yes, hey, I’m Vic. Well Victoria actually, but you know, most people call me Vic.” She rambles on with a short laugh, rubbing the back of her neck. Her face has suddenly gotten warm and her hands clammy. She wipes her palms to her pants.

“Nice to meet you two.”

They move on from the mess that was Victoria’s introduction, to her luck. She doesn’t know what came over her. Suddenly it felt like she forgot how to function like a human being. She’s yelling at herself inside her head for embarrassing herself like that.

“The clinic is a really great idea, I’m sure it’ll help out a lot of people.”

“Yes!” Victoria almost shouts, snapping Y/N and Andy’s attention to her. She clears her throat. “It is- yes, a good idea. And we’re so grateful to have doctors…like you, helping us out with it. So great.”

Y/N nods slowly. “Of course, I love to help out.”

“Yeah.” Victoria’s eyes are wide as she stares at her. “Well,” she points at the box, “I better go put that away.” Picking up the box, she speed walks away, ignoring Andy who is following right behind her.

“What was that?” Andy asks as they arrive to the supply room. Victoria starts putting the supplies to their own places in the shelf, shaking her head while doing it. She has a mortified look on her face. “Vic?”

“I don’t know!” She throws her hands in the air. “I don’t know what that was. My brain just froze up.”

A small grin grows on Andy’s face as she stares at her. “You like her.”

“I just met her.”

“Well, you think she is attractive.” Rolling her eyes, Andy starts organizing the supplies with her. “That’s adorable.”

“No, that was absolutely horrible.” She glares at Andy, who just starts laughing by herself.

The next day comes by and the clinic opens for the first time. Every fire fighter and the few doctors who decided to volunteer are full of anticipation as they wait for their first patient to arrive. Victoria is standing by the door between the barn and the lobby of the station, her eyes moving through the whole space.

“Waiting for someone?” Andy comes up behind her, making her flinch. “A doctor perhaps?”

“No.” She crosses her arms her chest, taking few steps away from Andy.

Humming, Andy nods slowly. She leans against the door frame. “Maya told me she’s running a bit late.” Victoria turns to look at her with her brows scrunched up. “Just saying.” She mumbles with a smirk before walking away.

She sighs, walking over to Travis to wait with him. They organize supplies that have already been organized to look busy.

”Hey, Vic!”

Victoria turns around quickly, almost making a metallic tray fall from a table. “Y/N!” She takes hold of the tray, stopping it from clanging around. “Hi! You- you’re here.” Laughing, she rubs the back of her neck.

“I’m here.” Y/N giggles.

Travis’ attention instantly shifts to them. His eyes are wide as he stares at Victoria’s mannerisms around Y/N.

“Has there been patients yet?” Y/N looks around the clinic, happy with the outcome.

“Uhh, no, not yet.” Shaking her head, she has a tight lipped smile on her face. “Thank you for volunteering, it’s great to have you around. As a doctor!” She adds the last part quickly. “It is great to have doctors around. To help us, with..with this.”

Stepping next to Victoria, Travis takes control of the conversation. “Hi, I’m Travis.” He shakes Y/N’s head. “You’re Carina’s friend, right? Y/N Y/L/N?”

“Yes! It’s nice to meet you.” She has a wide smile on her face. Finally, the first patient walks into the clinic. “First visitor,” she smiles, “guess I better go help out.”

Before she can walk away, Travis grabs her arm. “No, no, Gibson is going to him. We are all going to Joe’s after our shift, would you like to join us?” Victoria turns to look at him with wide eyes.

“Sure, that sounds fun.” Another doctor calls for her. She gives the two a smile, “I have to go, but I’ll see you later,” and leaves.

“We aren’t going to Joe’s after out shift?” She whispers once Y/N is out of reach.

Travis smirks. “Now we are.”

Everyone is excited once Y/N walks into the bar. Travis and Andy, who both saw how affected Victoria was by her presence, decided they’d help the two get together, getting everyone else on the team to help.

“Over here!” Andy shouts, waving her hand in the air. Y/N walks over to them, sitting next to Victoria, the seat that was left empty on purpose. “We already ordered you a drink.”

“Thank you, and thanks for inviting me.“

“Of course!” Travis smiles, his smile is wide and full of mischief, but to Y/N it looks like a normal smile. “We like to have you around, especially Vic.” He throws his arm around Victoria’s shoulders, shaking her whole body.

She chokes on her drink, getting a concerned look fro Y/N. “No!” Victoria coughs, putting her drink down. Then she starts panicking. “I mean yes! Of course I like having you around,” she laughs, “but like the normal amount. The same amount as everyone else here.”

“I like being around you too.” She states, which makes Victoria smile.

“Oh no!” Maya exclaims loudly, looking at her phone. “I need to go home, Carina texted me that there’s a family emergency.” She stands up, though the doesn’t look worried at all.

Y/N frowns. She’s pretty sure Carina is still working. Andy stands up with her, “and I’m her ride, so I guess I have to go too. I’m so sorry.” The two leave the bar.

Suddenly Jack has to leave and Dean with him, then Ben says Miranda just texted him, although his phone is in Y/N’s lime of sight and it didn’t light up even once. And very soon after that Travis has to go home too, leaving Victoria and Y/N to the bar alone.

Victoria has a glare on her face. “They planned this.” She mumbles, dropping her head onto her hands.

“You think?” Y/N giggles, sipping her drink.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Is there a reason why they planned this?” Her voice is questioning, but the look on her face shows she has an idea what’s going on.

Pressing her eyes shut, Victoria groans. Of course she knows why this happened. Rubbing her face, she lifts her head to look at Y/N. “Yes. I-“ she sighs, “my brain shuts down anytime I’m near you, because I think you’re very beautiful, and I think I caught feelings the moment my eyes met yours.”

Y/N smiles, her cheeks turning warm for a change. She looks down to hide it. “That’s good to hear, because I feel the exact same way.” Smiling, Victoria grabs her hand. Maybe it wasn’t so bad to embarras yourself once in a while.

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Victoria asks, making Travis groan. The question has left her mouth at least ten times during the last hour and he is starting to get annoyed.

“It will, Vic! Stop worrying.”

“I am proposing to my girlfriend, of course I’m worried!”

Taping down the last piece of paper to the fire truck’s aide, Travis sighs and turns to take hold of Victoria’s shoulders. “You are proposing your girlfriend who you love dearly, and who loves you. She won’t say no.” He looks deep into her eyes. “Stop worrying.”

“Stop worrying.” She mumbles, wiping her palms to her pants. Looking at the truck, she smiles. It looks great.

Andy walks into the room. “Okay, everyone! The trucks are ready to go,” she looks at Victoria, “are you ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready, lets go.” They all cram into one of the fire trucks B-shift let them lend.

Andy drives the truck near the ambulance bay, out of sight for anyone who is by the door. Victoria is the only one who gets out, one of her hands is in the pocket of her work pants. She’s gripping the small box tightly.

She smiles as Carina and Y/N walk outside, the latter with a confused expression on her face. “Hey,” she smiles back at her, “is something wrong? Is there an ambulance coming?” Y/N tries to look over to the entrance of the bay, but Carina pulls her backwards, being part of the plan.

“No!” Victoria walks closer to her. “Everything is okay. I, uhm, just had something to tell you.”

Glancing at widely smiling Carina, Y/N furrows her brows. “Okay.”

“We’ve been together for over a year,” Victoria starts, taking a shaky breath, words are still hard to come by around Y/N, “and I love you so much. I’m so glad I met you, even though I made a fool out of myself.” She laughs. “I feel like I’m doing the same thing right now.”

Y/N tilts her head with a smile. Her eyes are starting to get teary eyes the longer Victoria talks.

“And,” she clears her throat, giving a signal to the truck, “I’d love to wake up everyday next to you and make a fool of myself for the rest of our lives.” The truck’s siren turns on as it starts moving towards them.

Y/N gasps when Victoria drops down to one knee and pulls out the ring box. The other firefighters jump out of the truck once it’s right behind her. There’s a large banner on the side of it that says Will you marry me Y/N?

With a teary laugh, Y/N starts nodding. “Yes, yes, of course!” She jogs to Victoria and jumps into her arms, the others cheering by the sidelines. Some other doctors have come outside when hearing the commotion. “I love you so much.”

The two kiss before Victoria slips the ring to Y/N’s ring finger. She giggles. “You’re my fiancee.” She states, feeling ecstatic.

“I’m your fiancee!”

The others come to them with wide smiles, hugging them both, which ultimately leads into a big group hug.

[thegainingdesk]

Little Comments

"You must be a large nowadays, right Andy?"

"What?"

"A large," Richard repeated. "For the house t-shirts. I'm ordering a load for the students, for sports day, I'll get you one at the same time. I think you were a medium last year, so you must be a large now, I'm guessing." When Andrew didn't respond, just blinking in Richard's general direction, he continued on. "Or an extra-large? I don't know if they run small or anything."

Andrew forced himself to speak. "No, large is usually fine, yeah."

"Great. You're Blue House, aren't you?" Richard asked.

Andrew nodded and turned back to his marking, hoping Richard didn't notice how red his face must have grown. He'd been wearing larges for a while now, after a broken ankle the previous summer had seen his weight creep up, and had in-fact even bought a couple of looser extra-larges on occasion, so he wasn't embarrassed or shocked by the comment.

No, what had sent Andrew into a spin was the "must". He must be a large now, so obvious it didn't even warrant a question. And the implication he looked like he might need an extra-large? He felt himself grow hard, and he excused himself to go to the bathroom.

Andrew stumbled into the staff bathroom and reached into his trousers as he locked the door shut behind him. He'd been obsessed with fat men and weight gain since he'd first hit puberty, and had toyed with the idea of weight gain in the past, but nothing had ever come of it, as he stayed at roughly the same weight since he was 18. Until now, clearly.

With one hand, he fumbled with his shirt buttons, almost ripping some off in his urgency. He pulled the shirt apart to reveal his torso, and looked down at himself as he stroked his penis with one hand, working hard to stifle his moans. How had he not noticed before? His torso, covered in a carpet of ginger, swirling hair, practically undulated, with his stomach forming soft rolls when he sat, and his whole belly spilled out over his belt by around an inch. He must have been so focussed on recovering from his injury that he'd not stopped to notice the changes happening to his body.

With his free hand he stroked up and down his torso, feeling the softness at his waist, the slight love handles, the jiggling fat at his chest. How much had he put on? He must be a large now, he told himself. Maybe even an extra-large. He came, with huge hot spurts of cum erupting up his torso, and hitting his face, making a mess of his dense orange body hair and beard. He couldn't stop himself, and he let out a loud, low moan. It was one of the most intense and explosive orgasms he could remember.

"You okay Andy?" Richard shouted through the door. "We heard a noise."

Andrew sat shaking, covered in his own semen. "Yeah, yeah, sorry. Just stubbed my toe."

"Oh, okay then. Me and Lydia are heading off in a bit. You coming to the pub?" Richard shouted.

Can a man not recover from an orgasm in peace? Andrew thought. "Yeah, go on then," he shouted back.

"Alright, we'll wait for you in the office," Richard called through the door.

Andrew gathered himself somewhat, using some toilet paper to gingerly clean himself up. "No bloody decorum, that man," he grumbled to himself, as he carefully took a clean finger and moved one side of his shirt away from the mess. "Shouting through a bathroom door. Can't go to the loo without intrusion around here."

-

"Of course Andy will have another, look at him!"

Andrew's head snapped up. What did Richard mean by that? Look at him? Look at what exactly?

"Same again Andrew?" Dan, a youthful P.E. teacher with a tiny waist that defied belief, asked him. "My round I think."

"Oh, umm, yeah, I guess I will, cheers." Andrew looked at Richard with a confused face. "What did you mean by that?"

"By what?"

"'Of course he'll have one, look at him', what does that mean?" Andrew repeated for him.

"Well, we all know you like a drink don't we?" Richard said with a small, confused smile. "I'm not saying you drink too much or anything mate, don't worry. We all have a few on a Friday, don't we?"

"Yeah, no, I mean, why 'look at him' though?" Andrew pushed.

"Well, you look like a man who likes a beer these days, don't you?" Richard flashed a grin and turned back to chatting with some other teachers on his side of the table.

Andrew looked around to see if anyone else was confused by the comment, but found everyone carrying on with their conversations quite happily. Andrew looked down at his belly, only recently noticed, a little larger than just a few hours ago after a few pints, and quietly placed a hand on the soft curve. His dick once again stiffened and he had to take a couple of deep breaths to calm it down. Not only did Andrew not think he had another load in him after that particularly productive session earlier on, but he didn't want to spend the night running back and forth to the toilet every time someone made the tiniest comment on his weight.

What's gotten into me?, Andrew thought, gently stroking his gut. I'm like a horny teenager! He stared at Richard, the broad shoulders, the thick beard, the burly muscles, and wondered if he had any idea of the effect he was having on him.

-

"Ah, just leave it here. Andy will eat it, won't you mate?"

Andrew looked up and stared nonplussed as Angela from history placed three large slices of cake next to him. "From Viv's birthday," she explained. "But there's hardly anyone in our office at the moment, that time of the year isn't it, so many trips."

"Same here Ange, just the two of us today. Don't worry though, Andy will make sure they go to a good home," Richard told her.

"Won't you have any?" she asked him.

"Ooh, none for me I'm afraid Ange! Got to watch my figure these days!" Richard said, patting his taut, flat stomach. "I might steal a crumb or two off Andy though, I remember how just legendary your cakes are."

"Oh well then," Angela said with a smile, appeased that her baking wouldn't be unappreciated. "You enjoy then, won't you," she said to Andrew, patting him on his shoulder and leaving the office.

"What was that?" Andrew asked.

"What was what?" Richard replied.

"That! Telling Angela I'd eat all the slices!"

"Well, you will, won't you?" Richard asked.

"I can't eat three slices to myself!" Andrew blustered.

"I've seen you get down more than that! Go on, don't feel guilty about me, I really am trying to watch my figure at the moment, avoiding sweets," Richard insisted.

"I might be watching my figure too!" Andrew said, his voice indignant.

Richard smirked and a devilish expression passed across his handsome face as he leaned in towards Andrew. "Well then I'm not sure what you've been watching it do then," he said with a wink, his voice low, as he reached out and patted Andrew's paunch.

Andrew's dick surged and he almost doubled over as a bolt of electricity raced up his spine at the touch, and the comment. Ever since that first day when he'd realised he'd put on a little weight, the accumulation of fat at his middle had become an obsession. He found himself overeating at every opportunity, craving the feeling of arousal he'd feel once he'd stuffed himself. His weight had slowly creeped up over the weeks and months and he was starting to look more and more like the men he'd admired for so many years.

"You enjoy yourself mate," Richard said, as he slapped Andrew on the shoulder and made his way out of the geography office. "I'm going for a slash."

Andrew engaged in a staring contest with the cake for a while, before giving in and dutifully taking the first bite. His eyes practically rolled back into his head. Angela's baking really was near-miraculous. He tried to limit himself to just one slice, but by the time Richard walked back into the room, the plate was completely empty, even the crumbs having been licked up. Andrew's sex- and food-fogged brain almost questioned why Richard had been quite so long, but the familiar mixture of tiredness and arousal that overeating brought on overrode any concerns he might have had.

"Right, period 5 in 10 minutes," Richard said, snapping Andrew out of his reverie. "I've got bloody year 7s. They'll be feral, last thing on a Friday. Ah well, someone's got to have them I suppose." He looked at Andrew and reached one hand out. "You've got a little something," he said casually, as he took one thumb and wiped Andrew's face, before taking his thumb and sucking some chocolate frosting from it. "God Angela's baking is good isn't it?" With that he left the room.

Andrew thanked every god he could think of that he had a free next period, as he didn't think he'd be in any state to teach any time soon.

-

"Where do you get your trousers from Andy? I've been looking for something a little looser on the thighs."

Andrew turned round to see Richard. "Oh, hi Richard, didn't see you there. Good weekend? Umm, just M&S I think, why?"

"I've been really hitting leg day recently, thought you might be able to give some recommendations for some trousers for the larger thighed gentleman." Richard reached out and gently patted the side of Andrew's thigh.

The touch barely made any contact, but it was enough to make Andrew almost spit coffee out across the staff room floor. Instead, he managed to merely choke on it, coughing and spluttering as he tried to recover.

Richard didn't seem to notice, and just carried on, pouring his own coffee. "I'd tried M&S already, maybe I hadn't looked at everything they had." His eyes flicked up and down Andrew's body. "You don't happen to know the fit you went with, do you?"

Andrew did his best to clear his throat and shrugged. "Whatever fit at the time. Probably just regular? I'm not really sure."

"Huh. Could have sworn you'd have probably had similar issues. Thought you'd have to go for some special cut," Richard said, before giving him a parting nod and wandering in the direction of some maths teachers.

Andrew raced out of the staff room as quick as he felt would go unnoticed, towards the bathroom by the geography office. As had become his custom, he locked the door as he hurriedly unbuttoned his shirt and trousers.

Ever since the summer holidays, he'd actually been noticing the expansion of his thighs himself, playing with the rippling, creamy flesh as he'd eat his second dinner, or while finishing off a pack of donuts. He came quickly and keenly, as he always did after Richard's little comments. He chuckled at the idea that the hunk had no idea what his innocent remarks did to the growing man.

He wiped himself clean, and looked down to admire the stretch marks that had grown across his inner thighs with his recent rapid gains, bright red streaks joining the pale brown freckles that dotted his skin. As he did so, he noticed that stitching on his trousers was actually starting to become strained, with the fabric of the trousers clearly warping to accommodate his expanding body. The smiled to himself at the irony that Richard would ask for clothing advice while his clothes were visibly almost at their limit. He rolled his eyes at the obliviousness of his colleague and did his best to make himself presentable.

-

"Ask Andy, he always keeps a load of food in his desk."

"Oh, do you? Would you mind Andrew?" Lydia asked. "I'm absolutely starving. I didn't get a chance to have any breakfast."

"I don't 'always keep' food in my desk," Andrew protested, his voice strangled. His snacking habits had increased along with his waistline, but he didn't think it had gone noticed. He shuffled in his seat as he resisted his growing erection.

"Yes you do!" Richard insisted. "I see you snacking all the time. In that bottom draw, there, there's a load of food."

Andrew sighed and slid back his chair, opening the draw to reveal it full to bursting with various bags of crisps, bars of chocolate, packets of biscuits. "That's quite smart actually!" Lydia said. "Good for when you don't have time for breakfast!" She picked out a breakfast bar and moved to her desk.

"Or whenever else, eh Andy?" Richard practically whispered in his ear, and he ruffled his hair playfully before walking away. Andrew couldn't stop himself from shivering, and pretended to busy himself with sorting through the paper on his desk. He picked out a bar of chocolate before closing the draw.

-

"You up for it big guy?"

"What?" Andrew said, taken aback.

"Going for a few pints after the parents evening on Thursday? You coming along?" Richard reiterated.

"No, no, I heard that, I meant the-"

"Ah, he'll come along, don't mind him," Richard slapped a large hand on Andrew's soft thigh. "He barely bloody listens to anything I say," he said with a roll of his eyes and shake of his head. Wordlessly, he picked up a plate of biscuits and passed it to Andrew, who took it without question and began eating.

Andrew couldn't follow anything anyone said after that point. The words big guy echoed around and around his head. And the fact that no one questioned who Richard meant! He looked down at the soft, malleable fat that covered his body, and ran a hand across the expanse of his gut, noting with a thrill the tension in his clothes as they strained to contain his flesh. He really had become a big guy. The big guy, even, as far as his colleagues were concerned, apparently. He was happy that recently his gut had encroached almost fully onto his lap, almost completely covering his crotch when he was sat, and covering any sign of his arousal.

"Where do you think, big guy?" Richard was staring at him, clearly expecting an answer to a question.

"Oh, wherever you were thinking really," Andrew asked, hoping it wasn't too obvious that he wasn't paying attention.

Richard flashed a grin. "Well we were just saying The Needle, but I don't think they do food." He leaned in a little and stared intently into Andrew's eyes. "You'll want food, won't you big guy?"

Andrew swallowed hard and nodded, making sure not to break eye contact. He shifted in his seat and had to remind himself to breathe. What was with this sudden nickname? And was it always so hot in here? He tugged at his too-tight collar, fruitlessly trying to let in any air into his shirt.

"So it's decided!" Richard said, turning back to the others and breaking his spell over Andrew, as ever, seemingly completely oblivious to his effect on the fat man. "We'll go to the Bread Basket, get something to eat, then move onto the Needle after?"

The bell went, and everyone got to their feet grumbling, leaving just Richard and Andrew on their own. "You not teaching either?" Andrew asked.

"Nah, got a free," Richard said, before standing and stretching. "I might nip to that cafe across the road, the coffee in here is absolutely dirt. Do you want anything?" Without waiting for an answer, he grasped both of Andrew's shoulders from behind, leaning down until their faces were next to each other. "I'll get you a couple of pastries, big guy. You stay right here." He clapped his big hands onto Andrew's shoulders, and walked away.

Andrew twisted his bulk around in his seat, his body resisting the movement, to see Richard already striding out of the staff room, rearranging his trousers as he went.

-

"Oh, give him a bit more than that Fran, look at him! He can't be having the same portion sizes as the rest of us, can he?"

Andrew rolled his eyes, but gladly accepted the larger portion size and thanked Fran. He'd gotten used to Richard's teasing remarks by this point, and could even stop himself getting too aroused at most of them. "What do you want to do for the LGBT history month assembly then?" he asked Richard.

Richard sighed. "Oh bloody hell, is that coming up?"

Being two of the only out gay teachers at the school, they inevitably ended up running the LGBT support group, which primarily amounted to occasionally bollocking a teacher for misgendering a student, and sorting out the annual LGBT assembly.

"Why don't we do it in actual pride month again?" Richard asked.

"All the year 11s and 13s have buggered off on study leave by then, and neither of us are ever actually about to run it," Andrew pointed out.

"Oh, yeah," Richard said. "And the current year 11s really are very gay aren't they? They'll not want to miss it."

"Why are they so gay?" Andrew asked.

Richard shrugged. "Some year groups just end up really gay."

Andrew smiled. The two really did work well together, which many in the staff body found surprising - other than both being geography teachers and gay, they couldn't be more different really, a fact which Andrew occasionally thought was almost inspiring. Look, gay kids, you can be anything you want to be - from a hulking, musclebound sex god to a quivering, hairy wall of flab! Diversity win!

"We could ask Ellie if we could use that essay she wrote? About pride combatting shame or something?" Richard suggested as they sat down to eat.

"That might be nice actually. She might even read it out herself," Andrew said.

"Perfect! That's sorted then, let's forget about it for another year."

The two were quiet for a while after that, Richard knowing better than to interrupt Andrew while he was eating. Eventually, Andrew sat back and patted his gut. "God that lasagne is good," he said with a satisfied smile on his face.

"It's bloody awful," Richard said, sliding his own portion across. Andrew smiled and shook his head. Richard seemed to do this every day, and never seemed to cotton on to the pattern that had developed, not yet thinking to just take less food, or something he'd actually eat. Andrew took the almost untouched lasagne and the salad drenched in dressing that Richard had piled on top and started making his way through it, once again lapsing into silence, while Richard got up without a word.

Shortly after, Richard walked back up to Andrew carrying two bowls of pudding and custard, and placed them both down in front of him. "Here, I don't want mine."

"Why do you always pick one up then?" Andrew asked, starting on them with gusto.

Richard shrugged. "Force of habit I suppose," he said.

-

"Put it away mate!" Richard said, slapping the bottom of Andrew's gut and laughing.

Andrew froze. He was immediately, achingly hard. He put down the box he was holding onto the shelf, and lowered his arms slowly, as if it would make his arousal harder to notice. He closed his eyes, and did his best to convince himself that Richard wouldn't be able to notice. He opened his eyes to see Richard staring intently at his gut.

"Sorry," Andrew said, braking the silence. "This shirt rides up sometimes. Probably need the next size up." He moved to tug his shirt down, knowing it probably wouldn't quite tuck in after all he'd eaten today, but Richard reached out and placed a hand on the sliver of belly that peaked out, stopping him.

"Hey, don't worry about it!" Richard said, forcing his voice to be overly light and joking. "Happens to the best of us." Andrew knew for a fact that nothing similar had ever happened to Richard. "And besides, it's just the two of us. We've seen a lot more of each other than just a bit of belly."

Andrew's eyebrows flew up. They had an unspoken agreement to never, never talk about the night a few years ago that they drunkenly stumbled into Andrew's bed together. Despite a mutual attraction - Richard to the pelt of soft red fur that coated almost every inch of Andrew's body, Andrew to Richard's bulging muscles - nothing ever came from it. They woke up next to each other and never spoke of it again, each silently agreeing that it wasn't worth ruining their friendship and their professional relationship over.

"I think I looked a little bit different back then," Andrew said, giving a weak smile and forcing a small laugh. "So I'm not sure if you've actually seen this bit of my body before." He jokingly lifted his shirt up a little, flashing Richard the soft mound of freckled, hairy flesh that had accumulated on his lower belly of late.

Richard gasped, and his face drained of all colour. Andrew quickly pulled his shirt back down. Richard's eyes didn't move away from his belly. "Yeah, I uh," he started, his voice raspy. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I guess that we've both changed a bit since then haven't we?" His voice was shaking.

"And how exactly do you look any different?" Andrew asked.

"Umm, I grew my beard out," Richard said lamely. He was still staring directly at Andrew's gut. Andrew saw Richard's eyes flick down towards his crotch, where Andrew's cock was still hard as steel.

"Oh yeah," Andrew said, forcing a small laugh to try and defuse some tension. "I forgot you used to rock that moustache. Very sexy, I thought."

Richard's eyes rose to meet Andrew's, the first time the two had made eye contact throughout the conversation. "You think?"

Andrew nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, you looked really good with it."

"Right. I didn't think you- that many people thought it looked good."

"No, I thought it looked great. Really great." Andrew was very aware that he was still so hard it hurt a little. He moved to pick up another box to file away, thinking it would at least allow him to hide somewhat.

Richard picked up the box before he could reach it. "I should be doing this!" he insisted. "You sit down, get a cup of tea and a biscuit."

"Oh, it's fine, really," Andrew said. "I'm taller anyway, it makes sense for me to do it."

"You're barely taller," Richard said. "And besides," he continued, "some of these boxes are way too heavy." They were not. "And you've had a busy day." He had not. "You sit down and relax for a bit. Finish those donuts I brought in."

"I had the last one after lunch," Andrew admitted. He'd actually had all the others as well, but didn't feel the need to add that.

Richard had put the next box on the shelf by now and came behind Andrew to forcibly steer him towards a seat. "There's another pack in my bag, I'll get you them."

"Why?" Andrew asked incredulously. "You haven't eaten a donut in a decade."

Richard didn't answer, just handing the pack over and carrying on putting away the boxes that currently filled the office. Andrew opened the pack and ate the first quickly. He looked at Richard to see his reaction, and saw him with a quiet smirk on his face, but didn't otherwise stop what he was doing.

Andrew settled down, eating the rest of the donuts and watching Richard's arms bulge each time he lifted a box above his head. Andrew noticed that Richard would check he was looking each time, and suspected that Richard was flexing more than he needed to, knowing that the boxes weren't actually as heavy as Richard was making out.

In return, Andrew put on a show for Richard, closing his eyes and sighing each time he licked sugar off his fingers, and eating each donut in just a couple of huge bites. He pushed his stomach out, causing his shirt to ride up to show pale, dimpled skin, and pretended he hadn't noticed.

"Right then," Richard said eventually. "That's that done. Tiring work eh? You as knackered as I am?" Andrew didn't question why he'd be tired, having only done a couple of boxes well over half an hour before. Richard reached out a hand, and Andrew accepted it, allowing Richard to help him strain to stand.

Richard placed his hand on the soft, sagging flesh beneath Andrew's shirt. "You've got to put this away, big guy," he said, echoing his words from before. This time though, he stood mere inches away from Andrew, and his voice was softer, but no less playful. "It's not decent."

"Sorry Rich," Andrew said with a smile. "I guess I've been putting on weight faster than I can replace my clothes."

Richard closed his eyes and breathed slowly. "We should go." His eyes opened and he stepped back a little, pulling away his hand. "I should go, I mean. And you. Separately."

"Right," Andrew said, making no attempt to pull down his shirt, massaging the slab of chub that Richard was holding seconds before. "I should get back and eat some dinner."

"You go on ahead," Richard said, now refusing to look at Andrew and busying himself with moving around some stationary on his desk. "I've got to nip to the loo. I'll lock up."

"Right, yeah," Andrew said. "I'll see you tomorrow then." He left with a smug grin. He wondered if he had any old shirts he could try and burst out of tonight, his cock hard at the thought.

-

"So you can sort that while we're all on D of E, can't you big guy?"

"Well I'll be going to D of E too," Andrew said, looking up.

The office grew quiet. "No mate, D of E. The Duke of Edinburgh expedition. Hiking across Exmoor or up a mountain with a load of students." Richard seemed to be the only person who didn't feel awkward about the conversation

"Yes, I know. I go every year. I'll be there too," Andrew insisted.

"Well have you spoken to Andy J about it then, big guy? Because I don't think he reckons you're going," Richard said, reaching up to stroke his thick moustache.

"Why wouldn't I go this year?" Andrew asked.

"Well, after you hurt your ankle, maybe it's not for the best," Lydia interjected tactfully.

"So? I went last year," Andrew pointed out. "My ankle's fine."

"Yeah, but you were what, a hundred pounds lighter last year?" Richard said. "More? And you weren't exactly slim then either." No one moved an inch. The tension in the room was palpable.

"Oh my god, look at the time!" Lydia said, her voice high and strained. "I've really got to go… umm… feed my… guinea pigs." She stood up and busied herself, as everyone else hurried to do the same. The office was empty in around two minutes, leaving Andrew and Richard staring at each other in silence.

The two men sat in silence for a while, eyes boring into each other. Andrew wondered whether Richard could have any clue about how hard he'd just made him; perhaps his shallow breathing could give it away, but would Richard just assume it was because of his weight? Andrew had actually been considering sacking off the expedition himself, wondering how he'd cope, but to hear someone else say it, to hear Richard say it, so matter of fact, without judgement or question, just a simple statement; you're too fat to walk a group of year 12s up a mountain. Andrew wondered how much he'd be able to force himself to eat tonight.

Richard broke the silence first. "Listen, mate-" his voice was hoarse and strained.

"No," Andrew interrupted, his voice just as shaky. "You're right. I should have thought. I've put on," he took a deep breath to steady himself. "I've put on a lot of weight this year."

Richard fidgeted in his seat. "How, umm," he started. "How much do you think you're clocking in at these days, big guy?" He almost seemed to choke on these last two words.

"I uh, I'm not sure. At least 300 pounds, definitely," Andrew managed to force out.

Richard took a deep, shuddering breath and gripped his pen tightly. "Wow, that's uh, I bet you don't admit that to just anyone."

Andrew shook his head slightly. "I've not told anyone else," he said. He wasn't sure why it was so important to him that Richard knew that.

Richard nodded. "Good. Well, I mean. You know what I mean." Andrew did not know what he meant. "I'm always here for- if you wanted to lose- I mean, not that I think you should, but if you wanted- I think you look amazing. Good. You look good. Fine, I mean. But if you didn't…" He stopped himself and looked up to the ceiling, breaking eye contact for the first time since everyone had left the office.

"No, I umm, I like it," Andrew practically whispered. "I mean, I don't mind it," he corrected himself, reminding himself that most people wouldn't enjoy putting on over 100 pounds in less than two years.

"Good. Good," Richard said, nodding. "I'm glad that you uh, that you're appreciating it. You uh," he exhaled slowly. "You look good. It suits you."

"You think?" Andrew asked. His hand travelled down and squeezed the thick wedge of soft fat of one of his love handles.

Richard nodded and closed his eyes, looking like he was trying to calm himself. "Yeah, it gives you some weight in the classroom. Gravitas I mean." He sighed and rubbed his beard. "You know what I mean."

"I think I might," Andrew said . He closed his eyes tightly and forced his hand away from groping his own curves and rolls. He felt like he was near bursting point, and he needed to get away, fast. He stood, heaving himself out of his chair with a grunt, the sudden movement seeming to shock Richard out of his trance. "I've got to go. I've got a uh, meeting. With the head."

Richard stood as well, in one smooth motion, and Andrew couldn't help but notice the large bulge at his crotch, reaching out towards his hip. Richard hastily grabbed some papers and held them in front of his trousers. "Right, yeah. Me too." He nodded quickly, as if to convince himself of something and fled the room, leaving his bag and laptop. Andrew followed much more slowly.

-

"Why do they always get these flimsy chairs out? You stay here big guy, I'll get you something sturdier."

"No, don't worry," Andrew said. "I'll be fine." But Richard was already walking away, out of the hall, in search of a chair that would stand a chance of surviving Andrew's weight.

Andrew stood awkwardly, watching everyone else casually grab a fold-up chair and put them down, ready for the staff meeting. He eyed the metal frames up, pondering whether they really couldn't support him anymore. He hadn't risked one in at least 40 pounds or so, and it'd been a little shaky then.

Other teachers streamed past Andrew, smiling at him, making small talk, not seeming to notice anything out of the ordinary about him not taking a seat. Clearly the problem was obvious to everyone.

Richard came back, carrying a sturdy wooden chair from the staff room that had recently come to be widely accepted as Andrew's personal chair, and a packet of biscuits. He placed the chair down, and passed Andrew the biscuits, clapping him on the lower back. "Bit of sugar to get us through Theresa's lecture, eh?" Andrew knew that Richard would not take any of them.

Andrew lowered himself down slowly, tensing as the chair groaned beneath him. Richard's eyebrows flew up and he gripped Andrew's shoulders tightly, ready to catch him should the chair collapse. Andrew brushed him off, satisfied that the chair would hold. His arse sagged over the sides, and he could feel a wedge of fat on his back hang slightly over the back of the chair.

"Absolutely ridiculous that they expect grown adults to sit in these things," Richard said as he threw himself down into a chair next to Andrew without incident. "Surprised no one's ever hurt themselves. It's like they think we're all bloody 15." He placed one hand on the back of Andrew's chair to support it if needed, and Andrew could feel his thumb lightly stroke the roll of fat that bulged out there.

Andrew couldn't pay any attention to the meeting, despite being sure at one point that he was referenced by name. He just smiled and hoped he wasn't expected to reply, before returning to being completely, overwhelmingly distracted by that simple stroking motion on his back. At one point Richard's hand moved up to lightly touch the roll of fat on the back of Andrew's neck, and he shuddered at the motion.

Richard and Andrew stayed on after every one else had left, helping put away the chairs and tables. Andrew had to admit that Richard was being far more useful, and Andrew had spent slightly longer finishing the leftover biscuits that had been provided than putting away furniture.

"Thank you, by the way," Andrew said as they propped a table up in a closet. "For earlier. The chair. It can be a bit embarrassing, navigating some of these situations."

Richard spun round, his eyes wide. "What do you mean embarrassing?"

"Well, you know, getting so fat this past year or two. It can lead to some pretty embarrassing scenarios." Andrew was taken aback by Richard's somewhat extreme reaction.

Richard moved closer and put a hand on Andrew's cheek. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't feel embarrassed. You look great. Amazing. I'm sorry if people have made you…" He closed his eyes and took a breath before opening them again, his eyes drilling directly into Andrew's. "I'm sorry if I've ever said anything that's embarrassed you. I've never meant to. It's just supposed to be, you know, banter."

"No, no, it's fine. You're fine. You've never- I mean I don't mind when you- That is, the way you do it. It's good." Andrew's mind was racing. He could swear that Richard was slightly stroking his beard.

"Right. Okay." Richard said, not breaking eye contact or moving his hand away from Andrew's face. "I don't want you to ever feel bad, you know? Or to make you feel bad."

"I know, I know," Andrew reassured him. "You're a good mate."

"Yeah," Richard said. "You too. A good mate."

The two stood like that for a while, before they heard a sound outside the hall. They leapt apart and busied themselves putting away chairs. Viv came in, not looking their way. "Don't mind me!" she called cheerfully. "Just looking for my bag!"

Andrew and Richard didn't reply or look at each other, focusing intently on putting away the chairs.

-

"You scrub up well, big guy."

"You too, Richard," Andrew replied. They stood near the entrance of the annual year 13's leavers' dinner, both in tight tuxes - Richard's straining against his thick arms and perky pecs, Andrew's straining against everything.

"That a new tux?" Richard asked.

Andrew flashed a smile. "Didn't have much choice in the matter Rich." In truth, he'd bought the tux six weeks ago, anticipating the event and knowing he'd never fit into the same one as last year, but the increasing sexual tension between him and Richard had sent him on a wild marathon of eating, and he'd had to ask a particularly handy friend to let the tux out for him. It still didn't quite fit him now, and he carefully restricted his movements in it to avoid any tears in the tortured fabric.

"No," Richard said. "No, I suppose you didn't much." He swallowed hard, and his eyes roved up and down Andrew's body, taking in each curve and roll. "We've been put on the same table, I checked the seating plan."

"Oh, good," Andrew said. "I was worried about who would eat all your food."

Richard grinned. "I'll manage a bite or two. Don't worry, I'll leave you a little."

"Hmm. Are we with anyone good?" Andrew asked.

"Table's not too bad actually," Richard said. "Some quite bright kids. Sensible. They'll be drunk but not rowdy."

"That's not so bad. I was stuck trying to control a load of the knobheads last year," Andrew said.

"I think they're a bit nervous you'll be more interested in the food than in behaviour management this year," Richard teased.

"Hey! I may be fat but I can still shout at some kids," Andrew protested.

"Yeah, you can shout at them, but what if you need to chase after some of the drunker ones?"

Andrew shrugged. "That's what people like you are for."

"Oh yeah? I'm supposed to be at your beck and call am I?" Richard's voice was growing breathless.

"I certainly thought so," Andrew said breezily. "But I've noticed you haven't gotten me any of those canapés or a glass of prosecco yet, so maybe I'm wrong."

Richard bolted to get Andrew some food without a word and returned shortly after having stolen an entire tray of food.

-

"You've gotten so fucking fat Andy."

"Excuse me?" Andrew said, pulling away from Richard, who was leaning in for another kiss.

Richard pulled Andrew closer and leaned his head into Andrew's neck, nuzzling into the thick stubble there. "I said that you are. So. Fucking. Fat." He punctuated each word with a kiss. Andrew could feel Richard's large cock straining against his trousers and against Andrew's thigh.

"That's not very polite," Andrew said, lightly nibbling Richard's ear.

"Oh don't pretend you don't fucking love it," Richard growled. "I've seen you rubbing your gut when you think no one's watching, disappearing to the toilet for a wank every time you've eaten too much."

"I could say the same to you," Andrew laughed.

"And perhaps most importantly," Richard said, his hands roving all over Andrew's tux. "I found your grommr profile: 'Hot colleague called me big guy today, got so hard I almost passed out. Hot colleague touched my gut today, I think he might be a closet encourager. Hot colleague had to get me a sturdier chair today, thought I'd break one of the others.'" He pulled back slightly, his eyes clouded with lust. "Who's this hot colleague then, anyone I should be worried about?"

Andrew laughed and nodded. "It's Angela. All those cakes she brings in, I think she might be trying to ruin my figure." He reached up to untie his bowtie and Richard stopped him, large square hands encircling chubby wrists.

"Let me," Richard said, his voice quiet and intense. Slowly, Richard pulled Andrew's bowtie loose, and undid his top button. Andrew felt relief wash over him as the collar stopped cutting into his neck, fat no longer bulging out over the top.

Richard bent to kiss the newly freed flesh, before continuing to undo Andrew's shirt buttons, pausing to kiss a newly revealed section of hairy skin after each. Eventually, the shirt was fully undone and Richard slowly knelt down as if in worship. "I can't believe how soft it all is," he whispered, staring into the abyss of Andrew's belly button, before burying his face into Andrew's gut. He moaned as he rubbed the soft fat, running his hands around towards the back where he squeezed the enormous love handles and ran his fingers through the hair on Andrew's back, barely coming up for air.

Richard sighed. "I've put so much weight onto you," he muttered, more to himself than Andrew.

Andrew laughed. "Excuse me? You? I think you'll find this is all my handiwork."

Richard shook his head. "Come on. You know you'd have never done it without me. All those little comments. I could see them drive you wild."

Andrew's stomach rumbled and Richard pulled back, still kneeling, and looked up at Andrew as if in prayer. "You're hungry. You want food, of course you do, you've barely eaten today." Andrew thought back to the three-course meal he'd consumed mere hours before, and most of Richard's too. Richard scrambled to stand. "You stay there, don't move, don't take anything off." He practically sprinted from the room and into the kitchen, where Andrew could hear doors banging and drawers rattling. Richard came back with an armful of fattening foods. "I've been stocking up," he told Andrew. "Until you were here." He threw his bounty down onto the bed, and moved back around to Andrew.

First he slid off Andrew's jacket and shirt, kissing his round shoulders and down his soft, heavy arms. Then he moved down to kneel in front of Andrew again and pushed him down to sit on the bed. Andrew picked up some crisps and began eating as Richard reverently undid Andrew's belt, struggling to get his hands under the sack of fat which overhung it, and slid his trousers down his legs. Richard started kissing Andrew's legs, paying particular attention to his thighs, making sure to place his lips gently on each of the pale stretch-marks that streaked across them, but Andrew could feel that Richard was getting quicker, more frantic as he carried on.

Finally, with shaking hands, he slid down Andrew's briefs, struggling, as Andrew did each day, to get them past his rotund thighs. Richard was fully clothed in front of a naked Andrew now, and Andrew felt a thrill at how exposed he was.

Richard sighed as Andrew's cock was released, and he pushed Andrew down so that he was laying on the bed, and used his hands to push the fat up and away from the hard pole, making it easier to access, and he buried his face into Andrew's thick bush of pubes, inhaling his scent deeply. It was the best blowjob of Andrew's life, even accounting for the one he'd received from Richard a few years prior, on that never mentioned, but often remembered night that they'd spent together. Richard was slower this time, more gentle. His fingers reached across Andrew's large body, stroking every inch of skin they could find.

Andrew continued to eat, even as he climaxed, his body shaking and jiggling as he cried out. Richard moved up onto the bed to kiss him, Andrew tasting his own cum on Richard's lips, and the two lay next to each other.

"Did you like that?" Richard asked, fingers dancing through the swirls of Andrew's chest hair and occasionally cupping his pendulous breasts, which sagged towards his armpits.

Andrew laughed breathlessly, sending ripples across his body. "Are you kidding?" he said. "That was incredible." He reached over to begin undressing Richard. "Your turn now."

Richard shook his head. "You don't have to. We'll do anything you want to do, anything." He sat up to help Andrew undress him, hurriedly taking off his trousers to reveal a pair of briefs tented by an absurdly hard penis. "I know you bottomed last time, but I'm happy to do whatever. If you wanted to top, or bottom, or do whatever. We don't need to do anything you don't want to." He leaned in to kiss Andrew slowly, deeply, passionately.

Andrew pulled away after a while and nodded. "I'm okay to bottom. I might have a shower first? Get prepped."

Richard nodded frantically, moving to help Andrew stand. "Could we- I mean, only if you wanted to, it's just, I'd really like to- Everything else, I want you to choose, really I do, but there's one thing. And we don't have to even do that, if you didn't want. I just. I think I need it."

Andrew laughed at the normally so confident man reduced to a sycophantic mess, and kissed him on the forehead. "We can do whatever, just say."

Richard cleared his throat. "I'd really like it if you'd lay on top of me. For a bit. I know it's stupid, but I just… I want to feel your weight on top of me. Please. I…" his voice caught. "Please." He stared intently into Andrew's eyes, mere inches away.

Andrew nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, if you want." He kissed him again, and Richard bounded towards the bed and taking off his underwear, his cock sticking straight up as he lay down.

Andrew laughed as he crawled onto the bed and top of Richard. Even on all fours, his stomach was already hanging down and covering Richard's abs. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Oh god," Richard moaned. "Yes. Please. Yes."

Andrew lowered himself down, taking the weight off his arms, and he felt Richard squirm underneath him. Andrew was unsurprised but aroused to realise that his fat touched the mattress on either side of Richard as his body almost entirely enveloped the smaller man. He leaned down to Richard's face, who looked like he was in ecstasy, and kissed him hard. He could feel Richard buck his hips slightly beneath him, as much as he could manage and after a while Richard cried out, and Andrew felt a wetness fill some of the folds of his gut. Richard's face relaxed into one of utter bliss, and Andrew struggled to roll off of him.

"Right then," he told Richard with a smirk, who still looked like he was recovering. "I'm going to have a shower while you make me a snack. And then we can carry on."

Richard nodded frantically and ran towards the kitchen like an enthusiastic puppy, still smeared in his own seed. Andrew laughed to himself. He could get used to this.

-

"You're a 5XL, right, big guy?"

"God, I don't know," Andrew called from the couch. "You usually take care of all that. Why?"

"I'm thinking for when we're in Italy next month, none of your old swimming shorts will fit from last year." Richard came in wearing an apron and holding an iPad. "Do you fancy shorts or speedos?"

"Could you get a couple of different sizes in both and I'll try them on?" Andrew looked down at his body, flowing out over his lap. "You don't think I could need 6XL, do you?"

Richard looked over the iPad. "Maybe! You've kept on piling on weight, you'll get there sooner or later. And those 5XLs are looking tighter by the day."

Andrew looked down at himself, rubbing a hand along his soft expanse, before heaving himself to a standing position. "Hey! Hey! No," Richard said, gently pushing him back down. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm getting some snacks," Andrew said, wriggling to prepare to stand again.

"No, that's my job. Stay right there." He returned shortly after with a tray of food, opening a family sized bag of crisps and some chocolate bars to hand over. "I'm going to the gym in a bit, and we'll have dinner straight after. I've made a couple of lasagnes, if that's okay?"

"With garlic bread?" Andrew asked.

"Of course with garlic bread!" Richard said, leaving down to kiss Andrew's soft, huge cheek. "I've got to keep my big guy fed, don't I?"

Andrew smiled. "I love it when you talk dirty to me."

[mackenzielovee]

unpolished (4) — andy barber

summary: Andy gives you everything you want just to keep you.

warnings: swearing, mentions of divorce

wc: 3k

a/n: hi!!!! i really love this chapter and i hope you guys do too , leave me some love if you can! xoxo

     “So, he just walked out?”

You nod, watching Ana reach for another slice of pizza between the two of you. She’d already eaten two pieces, while you’d only been able to stomach about half of your own before reciting everything that had happened with Andy. 

“God, he’s gonna know we were bluffing,” you grumble, “Maybe I can quit over email so I never have to face him again.”

“What are you talking about?” she questions, her mouth half-full of pizza. 

“I’m talking about Neal, Ana,” you sigh, “Andy was definitely on his way over to Neal’s office, and when he finds out that there’s no assistant job open—”

“There is,” she informs you with furrowed brows, as if your misunderstanding is astounding to her, “Neal’s office even has your resume.”

You roll your eyes, “How would Neal’s office have my—”

“I send a copy over,” she shrugs, taking another bite of her pizza before pointing down to your plate, “You gonna finish that?”

Your jaw falls open, “You sent my resume to Neal Logiudice?”

“Yes,” she groans, “Look, I know you were just messing with Andy, but you seriously need to work in an office where you’re appreciated and valued. Two things Andrew Barber does not know how to do when it comes to you.”

Stunned, you let your jaw hang open as you stare at her. She merely shrugs, no longer waiting for permission to take the crust off your plate. She takes a bite of it and nods her head in approval, then takes a long sip of her drink.

“You—” you start, then exhale and try again, “Ana, how could you think that’s okay?”

She shrugs again, clearly unbothered, “I didn’t think you’d mind. Especially with how much you’ve been complaining about Andy.”

For a moment, you want to argue. For a moment, you want to try to explain why she shouldn’t have done that. Instead, you take a long, deep breath, then grab onto your purse and give her a forced smile. 

“I should get back to the office,” you mumble, already moving to stand. 

Ana freezes as your chair squeaks against the tile floor, and with a mouthful of pizza crust, she widens her eyes. 

“Y/N, come on,” she groans, “Just a minute ago you were going to quit over email, now you’re running off to him?”

“It wasn’t supposed to get this far—” you say, stopping yourself and drawing back when Ana’s brows furrow. 

“How far was it supposed to go, then?” she questions. 

You stare at Ana and she stares back, brow hiked up on her forehead as if she’s daring you to answer the question. Too afraid to venture a guess, you sigh and take a step back.

“I’ll call you later,” you grumble, turning your back to the table and walking away.

“You better!” she calls back, right before she picks up another slice of pizza. 

     The walk back to the office is short, even if it doesn’t feel that way. Your heart races as you imagine what’s ahead; how Andy will react and if he’ll even be there. You wonder if he’ll just fire you on the spot — he’d tell you to pack up and go work for Neal and never tell anyone to call him as a reference. 

Briefly, you wonder what made Andy go to Neal’s in the first place. Yes, you’re sure he’s reading your emails. But every part of you is unsure of why he would feel the need to go down there. Maybe, you think, he’s begging Neal to take you. That thought alone is enough to deepen your frown.

By the time the elevator doors slide open, you’re sure everyone around you can hear your heart pounding. You’re convinced you’ll be jobless by the end of the day and homeless by the end of the month. Bravely, you puff out your cheeks and round the corner anyway, telling yourself to take it like a champ. 

What you don’t expect to find is Andrew Barber sitting at your desk with his tie tugged loose and his head buried in his laptop screen. His fingers type furiously, and only when you step forward does he look up and notice you. 

Immediately, he stands, his eyes scanning over every inch of you before he swallows and speaks. 

“Hi.”

You can tell by his eyes that he wants to say more, but he’s holding back. You purse your lips and squirm where you stand while Andy clears his throat loudly.

“Hi,” you reply.

“How was your lunch?” he asks, still watching every move you make. 

Your brows furrow, and with the impatience and the desperation to get everything out in the open, you shake your head. 

“Listen, Andy—”

“How much do you want?”

The question makes you freeze. His eyebrows form a line as a sort of serious scowl spreads across his face. After a few seconds, you draw back, listening to your heel tap against the floor.

“What?”

He takes a step forward, placing his hands on his hips, “To stay. How much do you want to stay here and work for me? Give me a number.”

Your jaw drops. His eyes never leave yours, and soon, you’re staring up at him through your lashes as he takes several more steps to close the space between the two of you.

“Andy—” you start, but he shakes his head. 

“A number, Y/N,” he repeats, softer this time, “Any number.”

You scoff before you can help it, “Any number?”

“Any number,” he confirms.

He watches you roll your eyes, and when you focus on him again, you swear you see a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“So, if I asked you for a twenty percent raise—”

“Done.”

Your eyes widen, “Andy, that’s—”

“I know how much it is,” he stops you, his voice matter-of-fact, “Will twenty percent satisfy you? Keep you here?”

Your instinct is to hug him. To gush and smile and tell him just how much twenty percent will impact your life. Before you say anything, you remember what you’d told Ana before. Licking your lips, you set your bag down on your desk and look up at him. 

“There’s one other thing,” you say quietly, the words coming out shyer than anticipated. 

“Tell me,” he demands. 

You smile when the phone starts to ring on your desk. Andy doesn’t flinch, but he watches as you glance at it. 

“Stop reading my emails,” you fire at him. 

Just as his eyes widen and his body stills, you move around him and reach for the phone. He’s still busy when you pick it up. 

“Andy Barber’s office, how may I help you?”

His back is still to you, and you’re busy studying it before you realize the client on the other end of the phone is speaking to you. With a shake of the head, you turn your focus to the call and smile as you figure out just what they need. 

“Yes sir, just one moment and I’ll transfer you to Mr. Barber.”

You see Andy’s back muscles tense, and slowly, he spins around. You lean over your desk and place the call on hold, then look up at him. 

His eyes follow you as you move around your desk, close his laptop, and hold it out for him to take. You’re used to Andy’s silence, but this time, you feel as if you’re the one in control. Wordlessly, he accepts his laptop and clenches his jaw, eyeing the blinking light on the phone as if it’s slowly killing him. 

“Line two,” you say, your voice cocky. 

Andy’s jaw hardens even more. He swallows roughly, takes one more look over you, then turns and walks into his office without another word. You bite down on your bottom lip to hide a smile and suck in a deep breath — the first one you’ve ever taken in this office, it feels like. Suddenly, nothing seems intimidating anymore. 

You’ve got Andy Barber wrapped around your finger. It seems you always have. That’s what brings the smile to your face as you sit down in your chair, ready to work hard for that extra twenty percent. 

     Andy only sees two more clients before the end of the day, but he remains in his office in between them. He doesn’t even use the restroom. The only time you see him is when you bring clients into his office and offer up coffee, which Andy denies both times. You see the way his eyes linger on you for just a moment too long, and you’re sure it’s because he’s debating his investment; trying to figure out if you’re really worth twenty percent more just to get coffee and sit outside his office playing Candy Crush when he’s in meetings. Yet, no part of you seems to care. He caved quickly on the raise, and you’ll take every bit of it. 

     You stay ten minutes past five o’clock for no reason. That ten minutes consists of reorganizing the sticky notes on your calendar and sorting your colored pens into a rainbow. Selfishly, you want Andy to come out of his office. You want him to explain the emails; to apologize. 

To see Andy Barber apologize would be a sight. 

With a huff, you stand from your chair and collect your things. You can’t help but stare at Andy’s closed door and wonder if he ever stops working. Briefly, you consider knocking and asking if he needs anything before you go. Then, you fear he’ll ask why you’re here past five. Shaking your head, you place your bag over your shoulder and grab your jacket, then let your heels tap against the floor as you walk out. 

The building is pretty much empty, save a few lawyers working in conference rooms or making copies to prepare for their days tomorrow. You take a breath as you hit the button for the elevator, surprised when the doors open immediately. You step inside and hit the button for the ground floor, watching the doors pull shut. Just before they meet, an arm stops them. They open again, and your eyes widen at the sight of Andy Barber, ready to leave the office at a decent hour. 

His lips tip up as he takes you in, doing a once-over before he steps silently into the elevator. You scoot over out of instinct and look down at the floor — all sense of power from earlier seems to have disappeared because of this ambush. You notice how his tie has been removed completely and his suit jacket is hung over his arm, leaving him only in a blue button-down that works wonders for his eyes. 

The doors close and the silence is deafening; to the point where you wonder if there’s never been any music on this elevator. 

All at once, Andy clears his throat and speaks, staring straight ahead as he does. 

“I wasn’t reading your emails to violate your privacy,” he says, his voice even.

You hate that he doesn’t elaborate or explain, but instead, waits for a response from you. 

“Why, then?”

He takes a breath, “My old assistant was sending out personal information about me and lost me a bunch of clients. Before I hired you, I installed a screening program. You work for me. Any email you send that includes my name shows up on my computer. It’s purely precautionary.”

Spinning on your heel, you turn and face him, narrowing your eyes. He glances over and sees your expression, and you swear he suppresses a smile at the sight. 

“So, you’ve seen everything I’ve said about you?” you question, trying to figure out exactly what that might be.

He nods, swallowing roughly, “I never meant to make you cry, Y/N.”

You feel your stomach drop at the thought of Andy knowing you cried over how mean he was to you. 

“That’s how you knew so much about my date,” you mumble, more to yourself than to him.

“Yes,” he confirms. 

The doors to the elevator open, and Andy gestures for you to exit first. You do, letting your heels click as your brain runs wild. He follows you out and through the lobby, then out the front doors that will lead to both of your cars. 

“What happened to your old assistant?” you ask him, watching his blue eyes meet yours. 

His brows furrow, “What do you mean?”

You shrug and look out onto the road, noting all of the traffic of people trying to get home. You wonder what it would be like to have someone waiting on you.

“Did you ever, like, take her to court for what she did?”

He smirks, “You could say that.”

“What does that mean?” you question, staring up at him. 

With a shrug, Andy answers you while also eyeing the same traffic you’d been looking at just a moment before. 

“I divorced her,” he replies, then gives you a tight smile, “See you tomorrow, Y/N.”

He leaves you standing in shock on the sidewalk, jaw hanging slack and heels cemented into the sidewalk. 

     With this new information that Andy’s provided you, no part of you wants to go home and find an empty living room, empty kitchen, empty bed. So, sighing in defeat, you start down the path to one of the many bars that line the downtown area. 

You find one that’s not too crowded and wander in, all while your head spins with this new information from Andy. You had absolutely no idea that his wife used to be his assistant, and part of you wonders how that ever even worked. 

You find a seat and order a drink without thinking twice, desperate for it to take your mind off of the way he looked standing beside you in the elevator. You recall his little smile, his remarks, and his gentlemanly actions even when he doesn’t seem to care much for you. 

Maybe he does, you think, but before you can examine that too much, the bartender sets your drink down in front of you. Picking it up, you swallow about half of it in a few seconds, hoping it will melt some of these thoughts away. 

“Barber’s got you drinking on a Tuesday?”

You perk at the sound of Andy’s last name and turn, finding none other than Neal Loguidice standing behind you with a drink in his hand. Your heart sinks but you give him a tight smile anyway, then nod. 

“Yeah, long day,” you reply, attempting to turn around again when he steps beside you. 

“Same here,” he answers, “Your boss came in and gave me an earful this afternoon. Do you know why?”

You bite your tongue to keep from blurting out the first thing that comes to mind, and instead, you finish off the remainder of your glass. 

“No,” you lie. 

Neal laughs and slides into the chair beside you, “He thought I was going to hire you. Which, given your resume, I’m greatly considering.”

You swallow and turn to face him, watching the way his lips twist up into a smile at the thought of you being interested in his proposal.

“It was actually a miscommunication,” you inform him, “Everything is fine and I am staying where I am. Andy’s a great boss.”

You know you’re pushing the envelope, but some part of you feels protective. Neal raises your defense, at least enough that you don’t want him to know any of the hardships you’ve faced with Andy. 

“Really?” Neal chuckles, “You look exhausted every time I see you. I figured you had enough.”

“No, I’m fine,” you reply politely, then signal for the bartender to get you your check. No part of you wants to entertain him for another minute. 

“Put it on mine,” Neal tells the bartender, “And, we’ll have another round.”

“No, we won’t,” you speak up, standing, “I really should get home.”

“Already?”

You ignore him at first and place your purse on your shoulder, then turn around. Your smile is more forced, less genuine, but Neal doesn’t seem to notice. 

“Yes. Andy’s in court tomorrow and there’s a lot I need to prepare for him,” you reply, “Thank you for the drink. Have a good night.”

You hear Neal scoff, but you don’t look back to hear any of his comments. Instead, you walk right out the door, right to your car, and you head home. To the empty living room, empty kitchen, empty bed. 

You pour yourself a glass of wine and use a roll of pre-made cookie dough to make cookies, then sit on the couch while you work on Andy’s notes for tomorrow. Every ounce of energy goes to not noticing how lonely and quiet your apartment seems to feel lately, and once the bottle of wine is gone and the cookies are only crumbs, do you crawl into bed. 

As you lay under the cold sheets, wide awake, you let your mind drift off, wondering if Andy Barber is doing the same thing in his home. You wonder if he gets lonely. 

Just before you fall asleep, you wonder if Andy Barber thinks about what you’re doing at that very moment. Your arm flinches as you want to reach for your phone, but instead, you turn around and put your back to your nightstand. 

It’s just loneliness, you think. Like all else, it will pass. 

And just before you fall asleep, convincing yourself that it’s not Andy you miss, but the company of another person, you realize that you’ll be lonelier than ever tomorrow with Andy in court for the majority of the day. 

With that in mind, the possibility of having feelings for Andrew Barber doesn’t seem so far off. In fact, to you, it seems completely plausible.

Tags:

@goldenjo @onmykneesforrafe @r0und3bitch @bellsnuit @infatuatedjanes @swthxrry @royalwritersoftheuniverse

[fashionbooksmilano]

Bob Colacello's Out

Bob Colacello

Introduction Ingrid Sischy, Design by Sam Shaid

Edition 7L Steidl, Göttingen 2007, 232 pages, 30x21,4cm, ISBN 9788654034

euro 50,00

email if you want to buy booksinprogressmilano@yahoo.it

Out documents a social era that seems so close and yet so far away: that wild, glamorous, disco-and-drugs-driven decade between the end of the Vietnam war and the advent of AIDS, when every night was a party night and such distinctions as uptown and downtown, gay and straight, black and white were momentarily cast aside. As the editor of Andy Warhol's Interview from 1971 to 1983, Bob Colacello was perfectly placed to record the scene, which he did in his monthly "Out" column, a diary of the frenetic social life that took him from art openings to movie premieres, from cocktail parties to dinner parties, from charity balls to after-hours clubs, often all in the course of a single evening. Although Colacello started writing his column in 1973, it didn't occur to him to take his own pictures for it until two years later, when the Swiss art dealer Thomas Ammann gave him one of the first miniature 35-mm cameras to come on the market, a black plastic Minox small enough to hide in his jacket pocket.

With their skewed angles, multilayered compositions, and arbitrary lighting effects, Colacello's pictures have an immediacy, a veracity, and an aesthetic not often found in the work of professional party photographers. He wasn't standing at the door pairing up celebrities and telling them to smile; he was in the middle of the action - "an accidental photographer", he likes to say, catching his "subjects" off-guard. And what subjects he had: Diana Vreeland, Jack Nicholson, Raquel Welch, Mick Jagger, Yves Saint Laurent, Nan Kempner, Gloria Swanson, Anita Loos, Willy Brandt, Joseph Beuys, Robert Rauschenberg and Warhol himself, at his most relaxed and private. Here as well are those who didn't survive the endless party - Truman Capote, Halston, Studio 54's Steve Rubell, Egon von Furstenberg and Tina Chow. Because space in Interview was limited, only a handful of Colacello's pictures were published each month, so most of these images have never been seen before. They bring to life a carefree but reckless moment in history when social mobility and personal expression were played out to the limits.

23/12/23

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Oh look…

Sneaky Peaky…

Consciousness Of Guilt

Andy chuckled as you moved so he could climb out of bed, his bare torso flexing a little as he headed out of the room, Grant following. He opened the baby gate into Lucy’s room to find her sat up, the early light from the sunrise illuminating her slightly.

“Good morning Looby-Saurus.” He beamed.

“Hi Daddy Wex!” She giggled as Grant hopped up onto her toddler bed and stuck his nose into her face. “Gwant!”

“Stupid dog…” Andy grumbled, rolling his eyes.

“Daddy nos calls Gwant!” Lucy admonished as she stared up at him and Andy couldn’t help but snort at the expression she wore, so like you.

“Okay, okay.” He grinned and swooped her up in his big arms. She still sometimes looked so small in them to him, his precious girl. "Do you want to come snuggle Mommy so I can get ready for work?"

“Yup yup yups!” She hugged him round his neck and then she gasped. “Oh…iss a-vent day?”

He groans a little, "yep, it's advent day."

She squealed. “We goes?”

"Yes, but after I get dressed for work."

“Otay…”

"I'll be quick, promise." He kissed her cheek as he walked them into your room.

“Mommy!” Looby grinned as she saw you sat up in the large bed.

"Good morning, Looby Loo!"

“Iss assvent!”

"I know! Are you excited?"

In the corner of your eye you saw Andy trying not to laugh at the unfortunate mispronunciation of the word.

“I so esscited!”

COMING NEXT WEEK…AS soon as I get my ass into gear

[commenter2]

Exes and Oohs breakdown (spoilers)

Another Moxxie episode where we see his father AND ex-boyfriend.

This episode already gets points for coming out on the weekend, as a lot of people like myself didn’t like how the last episode aired during the work week.

Looks like Loona’s fat shaming/gas lighting is working, as Moxxie is now starting to believe it.

From time to time I have brought up the idea that Millie’s anger might be related to some kind of mental or psychological problem, and its moments like this that seem to hint/confirm it. It’s nice to see Moxxie being one of the things that can calm her down.

Looks like Moxxie and Millie aren’t the only people Blitzo likes to see doing it.

Heh it’s a Hell-icopter. Hey if Vivziepop can make the occasional cheesy joke in her videos then why can’t I, especially since I’ve already ignored several big ones of hers so far in the series.

Returning background characters. Well those kids are going to need therapy.

So this episode takes place in the Greed ring. Kind of hoping we would go to Envy, but at least we can learn more about the Greed ring.

Interesting to know that there is vehicle sized elevators available to take people to other rings while in their respective vehicles. Explains how Blitzo can bring the I.M.P. van to places.

Loo Loo Land is still a wreck.

Mammon is so cheap, he won’t pay to print his own logo on all of his things.

Improper toxic waste disposal. That’s the reason why the place is so green.  It’s probably more radioactive then anywhere in the Fallout series. Eh better than just having it represent money.

Before I forget, it seems like the theory of the shark demons being from Greed is true. It does make me wonder if there a sub-species though, as I’m sure there are some sharks in the Envy ring that look totally different from what we’ve seen, heck I think we saw some of them in “Ozzie’s”

In that wide shot where we see Crimson and that big shark guy, what is that red demon supposed to be? He looks like a Imp/Incubus mixed with something else that looks very bird like to me. Could he be the bastard child of a Goetia who slept with a lower-class demon?

Crimson says Blitzo is becoming famous but is it because of his business or because of his “relationship” with Stolas as the events of “Ozzie’s” still haven’t been showed yet. Has my wish of their relationship still being a secret coming true? I guess we will have to wait till the Ozzie X Fizz episode.

THAT’S NOT ANDY BERMAN!! Come on that would have been awesome for this episode, and I’m not even an Invader Zim fan.

WAIT HE DATED MOXXIE AND MILLIE! Now that’s a twist while still breaking away from cliché tropes.

Of course Blitzo is jealous of Chaz getting with M and M XD

Baby Moxxie and his mother! Looks like she wasn’t happy in the relationship, poor thing. At least it’s fitting and tolerable for this one time story compared to another cliche marriage but I’m not getting into that as today is all about Moxxie and Millie.

I will say, Moxxie’s mother is beautiful!

Love the flashbacks followed by the Titanic references, even Blitzo calls it out XD.

For robbing a bank owned by the demon of Greed, I’m surprised Moxxie only went to jail. You think a crime like that would be instant death or getting tortured from the demon himself.

MOXXIE AND BLITZO FIRST MEETING! I wished Moxxie had talked more in that conversation but it’s nice to see how it all started. It also seems to show that Moxxie likes Blitzo because he’s leagues nicer than his father and ex, betting its was how Blitzo wanted to get in touch with Loona that sealed their friendship.

By Moxxie saying “sissy lifestyle” I’m guessing Crimson is homophobic. I can see several HH/HB characters having issues with that.

Looking closer, Chaz’s hairstyle is very similar to Seviathan von Eldrtich’s hairstyle. I’m guessing that is a common style for aquatic demons.

Please tell me were going to get a “Princess Bride” scene later in this episode with Millie in the Westley role :D

So Crimson is homophobic. I’m also still surprised by what this series can get away with sometimes when it comes to visuals.

The flashbacks are education as along with getting more confirmation of Moxxie’s childhood and Crimson being a bad father and husband (not surprising) with very little words, but it’s also thanks to him Moxxie’s mother is gone. Damn. Hell just got a lot uglier without her in it.

It also seems like the HB fandom has another person to ship with Stella :3

Fourth wall break.

Imagine if before Chaz and Blitzo did the nasty, Stolas appeared with a camera, causing Blitzo to go “Are you F^&*ing filming us!”

Moxxie’s last name is Knolastname!

Moxxie X Millie FOREVER!

I honestly wasn’t expecting Chaz to have his own agenda, I thought we would see Millie learn about the wedding and try and stop it. Heck I’d be okay if Blitzo did this as he hasn’t done much in the episode, almost like he SHOULDN’ T have been in it.

“Says he’s better then he looks only to be knocked out” cliché. It would have been cool to see Moxxie do some action before getting knocked out, as that would be another reason why Crimson ties him up as he see’s that his son can be a problem.

I have been wondering what a demon wedding looks like, so it was nice seeing some elements of it.  I am surprised that the demon priest is wearing attire an actual human priest would wear. You think he would wear something more IDK… hellish, like wearing all red or something. Ooo what about gray as that could represent the groom (who wears white) and bride (who wears black) becoming one!

Want to point out that Wrath channel is playing a country like song, fitting given we know it’s filled of farmers and other stereotypical country stuff.

We’re getting our “Princess Bride” scene!!!!!

Mille gives Mortal Kombat’s Scorpion a round for his money on, I mean she pulls out people’s skulls and spines WAY better then him.

She literally just turned a shark into sushi XD

After all that, I would have just killed Crimson, and maybe Chaz, so they can’t cause future problem especially when they already have tons of enemies but that’s just me. At least I could see them returning in interesting ways but more on that later.

It honestly wasn’t surprising to see Loona still in that chair, heck I bet she could stay in any chair for weeks without having the need to get up.

NO KEEP THE HELL-ICOPTER GUYS! That would have been cool to have for later.

I don’t think Chaz is dead, however without his teeth I bet he wished he was.

Actually thinking back, I’m surprise that though he is a shark demon, he can’t regrow teeth like an actual shark. It makes me wonder if other animal like demons lack traits the actual animal has, like I could see bee demons being able to use their stingers without fear of it coming off naturally.

Another episode, another Hell enemy for I.M.P. though I do see this leading to a good episode.

(watching credits) DAMMIT Chaz is dead. Why couldn’t it be Striker! I really would have liked to have seen Chaz return with not only dentures to replace his missing teeth, but also trying the same plan on Helsa Von Eldritch in a Hazbin Hotel episode. I feel like this potential episode would have been a growing moment for Charlie who discover Chaz’s plans, and though she hates Helsa (showing similar traits to how her father hates people like Adam or Michael in that episode which are pointed out by the characters) she puts it aside and helps Helsa realize she is being used and maybe while the two still hate each other, there is some respect between them as maybe Helsa does something that helps the Hotel.

Another good episode that is fitting with this season’s theme of expanding more on the character’s backstories, though this one is the best so far. All the positives about the episode are the same as previous episodes so I’m going straight to the negatives.

Though I do like how Millie got some good screen time, I wish we could have explored more about her in it, like what if she always had a bad reaction when dealing with exes EVEN when said ex tries to be friendly with her?  It also would have been nice and fitting with her character if she tried to bond with Crimson during the episode or again figure out his plan’s with Moxxie and instantly tries to stop it.

As I mentioned in my Helluva Boss EXPO literature, I didn’t like Blitzo being in another episode that really would have been better off as a Moxxie and Mille only episode. I recently watched a DCAU Justice League/JLU review and it went over how though it was about a team, not every team member appeared in every episode which was a plus as it gave stories where the problem couldn't be solve in 5 minutes because this specific character was there but also gave us interesting character interactions and dedicated screen time for said characters. It would be nice to see that later on in Helluva Boss in some way. Same with how Crimson being another bad father since we’ve gotten plenty of those. Again I know bad parents is a theme in Vivzies’s shows but I think it be nice to get more “variety” like that headcanon I made about Moxxie’s father being an actor, but more on that in my eventual Helluva Boss rewrite. It IS happening but there is no big rush right now, which gives me time to focus on other things I need to catch up on. I at least hope HH’s Lucifer isn't like that as it would be nice if he was a character who loves Charlie but strongly think her redemption idea should be stopped as along with how he feels like his pride is being attacked a bit, he is scared of her failing and maybe because of something else as I suggested in my HH season 1 premiere post.

At least Crimson’s personality could lead to an interesting future episode where he tries to get revenge on Moxxie and especially Millie, which would hurt Moxxie more. He’d be perfect for the antagonist of my episode idea where Moxxie and Millie go and spend time with Millie’s family, as Crimson has orchestrated the events that led Millie’s father Joe in a bad position and unknowingly lures Moxxie to him in order to get out of it. Of course seeing how Crimson treats Moxxie, and realizing he isn’t going to let him go and plans on hurting Millie next, Joe goes back on his deal and the two (along with Millie and her other family members) defeat Crimson who I could see dying of natural causes because he refused to give up on getting back at Moxxie. This episode could also make Millie’s parents finally accept Moxxie as one of the family and maybe Moxxie starts seeing Joe as a new father figure.

This episode was worth the long wait, and luckily Spring starts soon so hopefully episode 4 will come out soon. I have to say I’m excited for the upcoming Blitzo centered episodes as they guarantee to give us some good stuff.

What are your thoughts on the episode?

[trollprincess]

Here’s my thing about the whole Kate Middleton thing.

The Kensington comms team is almost completely and totally to blame for the clusterfuck of the last couple of months.

I think it was an Atlantic article I saw that titled, “I Hope You’re All Happy Now,” and … excuse me? Fuck off. Nobody’s happy. Regardless of what any of us may think of the royal family, a mom with young kids getting cancer fucking sucks. I don’t even like Kate and I hope she gets better soon.

But Jesus hopscotching Christ, my dog could have handled this PR rollout better than the Kensington comms team did. I almost suspect they did it on purpose so they could try to made the speculators feel like shit AND pump up Kate’s approval ratings in the process, which sounds like a conspiracy theory and yet is basically what these people are paid to do.

The problem is you can’t just ask for privacy for the royal family. You can’t. Because unless, for example, Princess Charlotte accidentally fell down some stairs and died, there’s almost literally no one on God’s green internet who’s going to give it to them. When you’re milking the British teat to be an extravagantly wealthy open-source tourist attraction for life, people are shockingly going to pay attention when you’re in public, and when you’re not.

Does Kate have the right to announce her diagnosis on her own terms and in her own time? Of course she fucking does. And this is where the comms team has one of two choices. They either sit Kate down and say, “Sweetie, it’s best to do this early and get it out of the way so people don’t speculate.” Or they allow her her time and then they *do their fucking job*.

That means coming up with an acceptable excuse. “Recovering from stomach surgery” only lasts so long as an acceptable excuse, and it’s not four goddamn months. And “she just wants to take some time off to be with her family” doesn’t work either when you’ve constructed a system where that same family cannot go to the loo without having to smile for the camera if a reporter peeks out of the shower.

Also, your problem as a comms team here is that the king also has cancer, and has announced it, and is still out in public. Of course, nobody gives a shit about seeing Charles. But Kate is blandly nice and pretty and has little kids, and people like her. They’re going to miss her. And you’re going to need to explain very, VERY well why a young woman who’s appeared fine is suddenly nowhere to be found. Especially in a family that’s developed a VERY bad reputation with how they’ve treated princesses who marry into the immediate family the last forty fucking years.

If the comms team were worth what they’re getting paid, they knew damn well that the outcome of saying nothing and providing a flimsy excuse would be months of speculation, sneaking around, jokes, memes, conspiracy theories, etc. You’ve got a scandal-ridden royal family where the king’s married to his long-term mistress, people think his mom somehow killed his last wife, and Uncle Andy’s a sex pest. Oh, and there have been rumors for ages Will’s banging another woman, and having his wife go private for months *is not going to turn that rumor off*.

Look, the best way to do this would probably have been to sit down with Kate and say bluntly, “We can give you time, but too long and people are going to be assholes. We know it’s hard, but … is six weeks good?” (Six weeks is just something to put out there, but maybe four weeks would have been better.)

Does it suck she’d have to do that? Yes. Is it better than letting the world put her through the conspiracy theory ringer for months? YES. Christ, I can’t believe that’s even a question.

[scotianostra]

Andrew (Andy) Stewart, one of Scotland’s best loved entertainers was born on December 30 1933 at Redlands Hospital for Women, Great Western Road, Glasgow.

Andy was born in Glasgow, and had aspirations of becoming a veterinary surgeon, although following a performance in a local pageant he decided to train as an actor at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama.

He became a successful recording artist, with international hits such as Donald Where’s Your Troosers?  A Scottish Soldier, The Road to Dundee and Take Me Back, and found further fame as the compere of BBC Scotland’s The White Heather Club, which ran for several years from the mid-1950s.

From the early 1960s onwards, he frequently and successfully toured Canada, the USA, Australia and New Zealand.

In 1959, Andy Stewart signed his first recording contract with the small the label of Top Rank. His first recording, “Donald Where’s Your Troosers?” was a light-hearted, almost throwaway track, during a recording session with his White Heather Group. However Top Rank considered it worth releasing as a single. “Donald Where’s Your Troosers?” is a comic song about a Scotsman who wears a kilt rather than trousers. It plays on the traditional gag about what people might see when a man is wearing a kilt and not any underwear. Especially when it is windy while walking in a kilt. As such he impresses the ladies when he walks by, frightens the other Highlander men and has rolls in the hay with lassies from London. The song also includes an Elvis imitation of several of the verses near the end of the song. Legend has it Elvis said it was one of the best impersonations of himself he had heard.

Stewart wrote the song in 10 minutes while he sat, trouserless, in the loo of a recording studio. Back in 1960’s Andy Stewart and other Scottish comedians were heard to tell a joke at the time reflecting Scots making fun of themselves: What’s the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone? A Rolling Stone says, “hey you, get off of my cloud!,” while a Scotsman says, “Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!”

Into the 1980’s Andy Stewart was becoming a symbol of the “Old Scotland” for many Scots who were embarrassed by perpetual images of haggis, Hogmanay and kilts as representing Scotland. He spent much of the decade touring internationally. But in 1989 “Donald Where’s Your Troosers?” was reissued and climbed to 4 on the charts. Stewart was back in fashion, including in Scotland. During his career Andy Stewart released 26 studio albums and one live album. 

Plagued with ill-health most of his adult life, especially due to high cholesterol levels, Stewart died at the age of 60 in 1993. 

Since his death over a have a dozen compilation CD releases have been made available to showcase the work of one of Scotland’s greatest entertainers.

There's a full web page full of stuff about Andy, with plenty links to a dedicated Youtube page at the link below.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

The Princess and the Pleb. Part 2: Andromeda.

Andromeda sometimes felt out of place. She didn't understand the way her friends had fun. They put on some loud music, they drank and smoked, or danced. Until their problems went away. It was after drinking that they started acting like idiots, only speaking with nasty jokes, laughing at stupid things.

Bellatrix had become one of them. She hadn't always been like that. But Bellatrix liked the attention. At Hogwarts she liked acting like one of the popular girls, interested in partying and having fun, only to gain Rodolphus' attention.

But now, Andromeda didn't understand why she kept acting like a stupid brat. She kept dancing with Cindy, very close to each other. She was aware of boys' hungry stares on them. She was enjoying them. When Bellatrix drank the rest of her cup and pulled Cindy in for a wet kiss, Andromeda's mouth fell open. She couldn't believe it.

"Oh YEEES!" It was Gerard who screamed. He had always been a nasty pig "Looks like Bella is going to take your girlfriend away, mate"

The boys around them were obviously enjoying the show.

Andromeda could see Seth was furious. Cindy was his official first girlfriend and it seemed he really cared about her.

But everything was a joke. Bella and Cindy broke apart, laughing like idiots. They were definitely more drunk that Andy imagined. She shook her head. Sometimes, Andromeda didn't recognize her sister. Bellatrix was better than this. More intelligent than this.

"Hey, why don't you do that again?" Andromeda heard Rabastan teasing "But get more touchy this time..."

"Oh fuck you!" Bella pushed him away.

They laughed. They all laughed.

"I think this is over!" Seth roared furiously as he dragged his girlfriend towards him and kissed her.

Gerard and Rabastan ooed and laughed, obviously making fun of Seth.

"Why don't you dance with me now, Bella?" Rabastan added, practically licking his lips.

Bellatrix pushed him away with an evil smile. And still looking at Rabastan, she wrapped her arms around Gerard and began dancing with him. Andromeda wanted to take her home. Shake out some sense into of her. What was she doing? Gerard was delighted. Rabastan was amused, laughing and shaking his head.

"Oi! Rod!" he told his brother who just got out of the loo "You missed the show..."

Rodolphus didn't seem interested. He was very very drunk. He couldn't stand still.

"Fuck off!" he pushed his brother away.

Andromeda saw him making his way towards the couch she was sitting on. And she saw how many girls at the party were staring hopefully at him. Rodolphus Lestrange was the king at Hogwarts. Now he was the king at Oxford. Everyone wanted to be with him. But Andromeda just thought he was pathetic.

The way he dropped next to her, all dizzy and numb. He stank of alcohol and sweat. And in that moment, she didn't find him charming at all.

"Hey! Havin' fun?" he mumbled.

Andromeda knew he wouldn't directly talk to her if he was sober. Andromeda was rather shy. She was not like Bellatrix.

"Not really" Andromeda sighed.

"Oh....S'cause your not drinkin'..." Rod nodded "Wanna 'ave a drink whiff me?"

"Not everything is about drinking Rodolphus" Andromeda sounded like a scolding mother "I don't understand why you drown yourselves in alcohol, as if it would solve anything"

Andromeda was angry for a reason. Angry with Bellatrix mostly. She always dragged Andromeda to parties.

"We will have so much fun together..." she always said. And Andromeda complied, because she loved her sister and wanted to spend time with her. But Bella always ended up drunk, snogging someone or both. Completely ignoring her sister.

Andy wondered how Cissy was doing at Hogwarts. She missed her.

Rodolphus frowned and pouted, looking at Andromeda.

"M'sorry"

He sounded like a little child, after being caught doing some mischief. That made Andromeda smile.

"It's okay...Drink, I guess" she said "It is not my kind of vibe" she looked at the beer between her hands and it was getting warm. She hated drinking.

"I don' know who I am anymore" Rodolphus sniffed next to her "Great Rodolphus, Great Rodolphus... He's just a scared boy..."

Andromeda looked at him, unsure of what to say.

"People don't know Rodolphus... They wan' someone else... An' I have to be perfect aaall the tiiiiimeee"

Andromeda knew Rodolphus since they were kids. He used to be a nice boy. But he grew up to be a wanker. Always the center of attention of parties and girls. But perhaps he was just pretending. They all were.

"I totally get it" Andromeda said "It's like we have to be pretend all the time..."

Andromeda had been thinking a lot about what Tonks had said. She had been thinking about him a lot lately. Only because she felt guilty of what Bella and the others had done to him. It wasn't fair. It didn't matter the rivalry they had had in school. They were all adults for God's sake. Tonks was just trying to work and live his life. Why was it amusing to them to drink like animals and go around making Tonks's life miserable? Andromeda had been friends with these people her whole life. But she was starting to wonder why. She wasn’t at all like them. She didn't understand their motives.

"Have you ever felt out of place, Rod?" she asked him "Have you ever wondered why we act like we act? I mean we act like stupid spoiled brats sometimes..."

"Do we?" Rodolphus raised his eyebrow in confusion.

"Of course! I get it. We have issues and concerns..." Andromeda explained "But we don't have to throw our money away in hollow parties and alcohol..."

Rodolphus was looking at her intensely. Perhaps considering what she was telling him.

"Tell me, Rod" she added "We are more profound than that, right? We do care about deep stuff"

Rodolphus scooped closer. He nodded.

"Yeah"

Andromeda sighed "Sorry, I am just mumbling"

Rodolphus smiled.

"We used to have fun when we were kids, didn't we?"

Rodolphus giggled.

She remembered they were different before. When they were kids and were not worried about pretending.

"You are not that bad actually, Rod" she added

"And you're so beautiful..." Rodolphus exclaimed and without any warning, he pulled Andromeda for a kiss.

She could taste the alcohol in his breath. And Andromeda immediately pushed him away. She couldn't believe it!

"Fuck, Rodolphus!!!" Andromeda screamed furiously as she stood up "What is wrong with you?"

Rodolphus didn't move from the sofa, looking guilty and pale. He was still drunk of course.

"Sorry..." he mumbled.

"You're just a stupid drunk wanker" Andromeda tutted. She sighed "I am going to go home"

Rodolphus leaned back, closing his eyes. And Andromeda decided to walk away. She approached Bellatrix who was now laughing with Cindy. But Cindy was between Seth's arms. Rabastan was trying to put an arm around Bella but she was pushing him away.

"Bella!" Andromeda pleaded, grabbing her sister's arm "Let's go home, please?"

Bellatrix smiled at her, she put her arms around her and played with her hair. She stunk of alcohol. She was drunk.

"Andy!!" she laughed "Come and dance with me!"

Andromeda was losing patience.

"No, Bella! I want to go home"

Bella pouted "But we are having fun"

"No! You are having fun... Not me"

"Come on, Andy!"

Andromeda shook his head pushed Bellatrix away. She wished Bellatrix didn't act like this stupid bitch. She wished she was sober and was her best friend, the voice of reason, the one that made her laugh. Andy needed her sister.

"I am going home!" she spat "You can stay if you want"

Andromeda walked away ignoring the way the others were teasing her, making fun of her, calling her boring. She walked out of Gerard's dorm, into campus. And then outside. Finally breathing some cold air. Then she realized she had left her jacket inside. And she shivered.

Andromeda was tired. Out of place. She felt so weird. Everyone teased her because she didn't drink, because she didn't like parties, because she hadn't snogged or had boyfriends. Because she was a virgin. What was wrong with that?

Why couldn't people accept who she was?

Andromeda walked and walked, considering calling a taxi home. That's when she saw the distant light of The Leaky Cauldron, just outside Campus. And that little café made her think of Edward Tonks.

Maybe he had been right with everything he said. They were just superficial rich kids. Andy and Bella lied to their parents all the time. The Blacks lied to the press all the time. Everyone lied. Tonks had the right to hate them. Andromeda had sworn not to go back there. And she had managed to convince her friends not to bother him again. But they still hated him. They still talked badly about him and Adam McKinnon. They still called them ordinary and raw. Perhaps they were not like that at all. Perhaps it was just an image Andy created of them from her days at school.

Before Andromeda acknowledged it, she was closer to the Leaky Cauldron, a few steps to the door actually. There was no one inside. It was probably closing, it must've been late. But the lights were still on.

Andromeda felt stupid. Why was she here? For what, exactly? She had to get home.

"What are you doing here?"

Andromeda jumped and get out a soft shriek.

Of course he had to be here. Of course he had to be on shift. Now.

Edward Tonks was surprised to see her as well.

"Fuck!" Andromeda snapped nervously "Do you want to scare me to death?"

"You scared me!" Ted answered "I was taking the trash out and I heard footsteps. I thought you were a burglar"

Andromeda crossed her arms, embarrassed. What was she doing here in the first place?

That's exactly what Tonks asked next.

"What you doing here?" Andromeda snapped defensively.

"I have to close the café today" Tonks said "I don't know if you momentarily forgot that I work here..."

Andromeda chuckled only because she felt stupid. Tonks smiled looking amused at how she giggled.

"I was at a party on Campus" she added, feeling her cheeks burn.

"Fun" Tonks smirked "Got bored from it, princess? Or do you suddenly want a midnight snack?"

Andromeda knew 'princess' was a nickname to make fun of her and who she was. But she realized she didn't mind.

"I wouldn't mind a turkey sandwich right now"

Tonks chuckled "Are you drunk?"

"What? No! I had one beer"

Tonks looked expectical.

"I swear!" she opened her arms to emphasize.

Tonks chuckled. Andromeda noticed the apple on his throat move as he did so.

"Well, I would gladly answer to your command, your highness" he bowed, and Andromeda shook his head "But I really have to close in 10 minutes"

"Oh! Ok...."

Andromeda said embarrassed.

"I will go home then"

Tonks looked at her and the way she was hugging herself because it was fucking freezing.

"You're shivering...." he said "Surely rich people have money to buy jackets... Or you are too good for that?"

Andromeda snorted.

"And you plebs are good at resisting the cold, I assume"

Tonks was only wearing his uniform shirt and he didn't seem bothered.

"We have to spend more time outside of fancy mansions" he answered with a smile "We have created resistance"

Andromeda couldn't avoid laughing at that. Tonks was pleased that he had managed it.

"Come on, princess" he added "Let's get inside. I can get you a cup of tea"

Andromeda stopped smiling, realizing what she was actually doing. Who she was actually talking to. She shouldn't....

But then she thought about what she had hated about her friends tonight. They was nothing wrong to be nice with people. No matter the money they had, right? The issues with Tonks were in the past.

"Don't worry, it will be a royal tea" Tonks added, catching her expression "The best kind, for the royal princess"

Andromeda smiled, and rolled her eyes.

"Oh shut up, pleb"

Andromeda realized that Ted Tonks' laughter was really nice to listen to.

***********

Something weird happened. Andromeda found herself talking to Edward Tonks about her feelings tonight. Yes, Edward Tonks! Wasn't that funny?

"So, don't get too cocky... But I think you might've been right.."

That's how she started the conversation. Tonks had smiled, pleased with himself of course.

She told him about how she was feeling out place. How her friends thought they could solve their lives with alcohol and parties. Perhaps being too superficial. How she was worried about Bellatrix. Because Bella wasn’t acting like herself. Andromeda told him about the relationships and the conflicts. How Rabastan had always been mesmerized by Bella but Bella had always been in love with Rodolphus. And how Rodolphus had always been a wanker, full of girls and full of himself. She didn't tell him about the kiss, though. It wasn't important. And she told him about how she suspected Bella acted that way because Rodolphus had actually broken her heart. And she also added something about Narcissa. How she missed her little sister. And she sometimes was worried about her because she was too innocent. And she didn't know if she trusted Lucius Malfoy.

Edward Tonks listened carefully as he cleaned the Leaky Cauldron. He mopped the floor. Then he cleaned the tables. And fixed the chairs around the tables. He responded with smiles, snorts and chuckles. Andromeda spoke twisting her hands around her cup of tea. The warm felt nice. She had been freezing. Winter was just around the corner.

"See, Edward?" Andromeda said as she finished "We rich people do have real problems"

Tonks laughed. Andromeda smiled.

"My mistake, princess"

"Money doesn't solve all of our issues"

"I guess you are just the same as us but with nicer things then..."

Andromeda nodded "Exactly"

"So we deserve the same treatment"

"Well... I... Yes..."

He was probably talking about the bad treatment he had been receiving from her friends. She was still embarrassed about that.

Tonks smiled. He was close now. Cleaning the table she was seated on. Andromeda ignored how her cheeks burned.

"I guess you do have a point, Edward"

Tonks wrinkled his nose.

"Nobody calls me Edward. It sounds weird" he said "You can call me Ted"

"Ted" Andromeda tried. It made him sound more real somehow.

Ted nodded.

"How should I call you then?" he asked "Andromeda is an inconveniently long"

Andromeda bit her lip.

"Everyone calls me Andy"

"Dromeda then" he nodded.

"Andy..." she chuckled.

"If everyone uses that part of you name, I will use the other"

Andromeda was smiling. She didn't know why. She had never felt this close to someone.

"Dromeda is long"

"Drom for short" Ted shrugged "Drommy"

Andromeda laughed. It was Ted's turn to smile. They looked at each other for a while, still smiling. Andromeda didn't realize it. Not until she was interrupted by a beep. She realized it had been Tonks' phone as he took it from his pocket, interrupting their moment.

"Shit... I'm running late for my gig" he said pocketing his phone.

Oh fuck... What time was it? Andromeda had probably lost track of time talking with Ted. Ted Tonks.

Andromeda wondered what would Bellatrix say if she found out about this. What would everyone say? It hadn't been that bad. Tonks was not that bad. Not like everyone had said.

"Want to come with me?"

Andromeda was surprised at that question.

"What?"

Ted scoffed, rubbing his neck, embarrassed. And... Was he blushing?

"Sorry, that was a stupid question..." he shook his head "Of course. You are a princess"

"Not. That was not..." Andromeda bit her lip. She didn't want him to believe she was superficial. Not like... Not like her people.

"It's just that... I told you. I don't like parties"

"It's not a party. Just a gig" Ted said "Besides, you probably hate parties because you haven't partied with the plebs"

Andromeda chuckled.

"Remember how in Titanic, Rose had more fun at the low class party with Jack?"

Andromeda laughed now. She shook her head. Ted was indeed fun to be around. Perhaps the Jack of her Rose. That thought made her blush. This couldn't be happening.

Ted was smiling too.

"So you had seen Titanic"

"Who hasn't?" she said "The most romantic movie ever"

Andromeda smiled. Ted did it as well.

"So? Coming?"

Andromeda had never been somewhere without her sister. In fact, if it weren't for Bella, Andromeda wouldn't go out. But she had also never wanted to go somewhere as much as right now.

She thought about Bellatrix and how she was probably still having fun, drinking and flirting with boys, and kissing girls. She thought about how she had been so out of place at the party. She had had more fun with Ted just chatting than drinking with her supposed friends.

Andromeda deserved to have fun as well, right? Do something stupid for fun.

"Okay"

Ted seemed surprised.

"Really?"

Andromeda snorted, she couldn’t believe she had taken this decision as well.

"Yes" she smiled.

"Are you sure?"

"Don't me regret it, Ted"

"Oh right, yeah...." Ted snorted happily "Okay, let's go"

Andromeda stood up, and waited to be instructed.

"Just let me close this up"

Ted walked to the door and Andromeda followed. Ted smiled at her.

"You're going to love my band, Dromeda" he said. And she believed him.

Andromeda didn't know that night would change her life forever.

[abbatoirablaze]

Heaven's Demons, Chapter 9

Word Count:  2.1k

Warnings:  jealousy, manipulation, angst, tricks/pranks.

“If Gearz hurts you I’ll fucking kill him.”

Sweetie rolled her eyes at her now ex-boyfriend, “You know how Jake is…he’ll probably be oblivious unless I have an air traffic controller guiding him straight to my vagina.”

Fonz chuckled for a moment at her until his laughter tapered off.  He bit his lip as he looked at the woman before him, “this doesn’t mean that I don’t love you…you know that, right?”

“I know…”

“Pixie wanted me to move back in with her…” he admitted, “you can keep the apartment…but if you’re serious about us splitting…I think I’m going to take her up on it…”

“Just don’t abandon our boys, Lucas.”

He leaned forward and took her hand, kissing it, “I won’t do that, Sweetie…only reason it happened with me, and Pix was because we were both avoiding our feelings for each other…the boys suffered for that…”

“I know what an amazing daddy you can be, Lucas…just don’t trip up…okay?”

“I know, Elliana…”

“So…” she said awkwardly, “how do you want to tell the boys?”

Fonz frowned.  He hadn’t put much thought into it.  He hadn’t thought about how he would explain it to Mikey, Dylan, Cairo, or Lucas.

“I-I don’t know…”

“Do you want to start with our boys?”

He sighed and took a deep breath, “I probably should…since I’m going to be moving all my stuff into Pixie’s place…right?”

She nodded, “yeah.”

Sweetie gave a contented sigh as she pulled Fonz and Pixie another beer while their children played up in Andy’s office with Amelia.  They had all spoken to the kids together at the beginning of the week, and they all seemed to be okay with it.  They did of course ask if that mean that they would get two birthdays and two Christmas’, even though Sweetie wasn’t the mother of Pixie’s children.  But they all shared a laugh and agreed. 

“Thanks Sweetie,” Pixie called when she dropped them off.  She shot Pix a wink and removed the old glasses, “how’ve the boys been?”

“Surprisingly well,” she laughed, looking between the couple, “and yours?”

Pixie bit her lip and looked to Fonz, who was currently sulking and drinking his beer, “the boys haven’t let us sleep in the same bed without us between them…I think they’re jealous that they have to share me.  When we all had that talk together at the beginning of the week I don’t think they realized that meant me and him wanted alone time together.”

“I haven’t gotten laid in weeks.”

“Aww poor baby,” she teased, sticking her tongue out at him.  He smiled and she leaned on her elbows, “I know the feeling though, so I sympathize.”

Fonz’ brow lifted, “you and Gearz haven’t?”

But he cut himself off and wiggled his brows.  She shook her head, “no…he hasn’t even said more than a few words to me since the concussion.”

Lucas’ brows knit together, “but I thought…”

“What?” she asked, “what did you think, Lucas?”

“Gearz got himself an old lady,” Lucas frowned.  He looked back to the door and then to Sweetie, “been talking about her for a week solid and won’t shut the hell up…we all thought he was talking about you.”

“We?”

“The guys…that’s why Barber was surprised a few days ago when you were asking to switch up your schedule.”

She shook her head, “me and Jake aren’t together…”

“Oh fuck.”

“What?” Sweetie asked, turning around. 

“I think I know who Gearz is seeing now,” Pixie frowned.  Sweetie’s heart dropped when she saw a woman giggling happily in Jake’s arms.  But it was a woman that both women recognized. 

“Isn’t that…”

“Yup…” Fonz frowned, taking a heavy gulp of his beer, “that’s the prospect’s girl…”

“You mean, that was the prospect’s girl,” Pixie gasped.  The trio was shaken into silence as they watched the exchange, where the woman was clearly trying to get in with the club.  It was obvious that Johnny wasn’t high enough in it for her, so she jumped to the next available guy, “wasn’t she dating him for like ever?”

“My high school sweetheart,” Johnny grunted as he dropped the bucket of ice before the bar.  Sweetie gave him a sympathetic look as she reached for it to dump it in her cooler, “she’s a fucking cheating, lying whore…I hope she catches something and gives it to him.”

“Well damn, prospect, tell me how you really feel.”

“She dumped me at the beginning of the week saying I was too low on the rungs of the club, and that if I had worked harder, I’d be higher,” he growled, “uptight bitch just wants reins over everyone else to make herself feel important cuz she barely passed high school and got kicked off the cheer team because she damn near flunked.  Surprised she didn’t try going after Sheriff or Butcher.  Both of them are single and high on the totem pole.”

“Damn prospect, calm down.” Pixie teased. 

“I know she made a pass at Butcher, but he told her to stop being a whore and pushed her away from him,” Fonz admitted, “and as far as Sheriff, he’s in love with Barber’s little sister…they’ve been on and off longer than most of us have been with the MC.  He wouldn’t even think about looking at your ex.”

“Be careful around her,” Johnny warned Sweetie, “I know how you look at Gearz, and I know she’s seen it too.  She’ll probably try to put a target on your back.”

“Don’t worry, Johnny…Jake’s not interested in me like that…”

“Yes, he is,” Johnny scoffed, “Gearz is in fucking love with you, Sweetie…”

This time it was her turn to scoff, “no he’s not.”

“He tell you what happened when he got a concussion?”

Sweetie raised her brow, “what do you mean?  I was there.  He tried to kiss me…I mean…we did kiss, bu-“

Johnny bit his lip, and then started laughing, “you didn’t see him after that, did you?”

“Nooo?” she trailed off, “why?  Did something happen?”

“I had to drop off groceries for him, cuz prez and sheriff wanted me to make sure he was still alive…and, well…needless to say, Gearz was pretty hazy…so much so that in his delusions he never thought you left….and that big ass stuffed bear he won you that you left at his place…he ripped a whole in the seam and fucked the hell out of it.”

The trio went dead silent.  Sweetie felt like her breath caught in her throat as she spared a glance to the guy that she had a crush on, “J-Jake fucked a stuffed animal thinking it was me?”

“Turned red as a tomato when I asked him why he had it sitting by the garbage can…that’s when I noticed the hole in the crotch,” Johnny laughed, “and also when I saw that he’d had ropes and ropes of dried cum all across its face…Gearz musta went a few rounds with it.”

Sweetie blushed as she looked at the biker once more.  He’d had Johnny’s ex on his lap, and they were making out like a couple of teenagers in the booth that he had started cleaning off. 

“Well good luck with that,” Pixie frowned, “I mean…”

“So, what your saying is, is that your ex-girlfriend and a teddy bear is Sweetie’s competition to riding Gearz’ disco stick?”

Johnny shrugged and took the empty ice bucket, “Don’t know if it’s the bear she should be worried about is all I’m saying.  Trish is a grade-a cunt.  She’ll do anything she can to get you outta the way, Sweetie…just be careful.”

“Thanks Johnny,” Sweetie sighed.  She placed a hand on Johnny’s bicep and kissed him on the cheek.  He gave her a warm smile, “now get your ass back to work before Andy sees you sitting around bullshitting.”

“An hey…if you ever need a biker to warm your bed…I’ll gladly put in an application!” he smirked, shooting Sweetie a wink, “lowest rung on the totem pole, but I know I’d treat ya right, Sweetie…you’re a prize.”

“Alright, prospect,” Pixie giggled, looking between Sweetie and Storm, “shoot your shot, prospect…shot your shot!”

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?”

Andy frowned as the prospect gritted his teeth, standing in front of the president of the MC. 

“We’re down a bartender since Falcon’s girl quit and broke it off with him,” Andy shrugged, “we needed another bartender…Sweetie moved to afternoons for the most part and Jake’s old lady-“

“You mean my ex-girlfriend,” Johnny growled, cutting the man off, “she was my girlfriend before she dumped me for Gearz when she realized that a prospect is a prospect for a year.”

“Well, she’s Gearz old lady now, and you have to be respectful,” Andy grunted, “and she’s the newest bartender, so you gotta learn to work with her!”

“Did you even ask what Sweetie thought about it?”

“Sweetie doesn’t have anything to do with it.”

“She tell you about how Gearz kissed her when he had a concussion?” Johnny asked, “or that Sweetie and Fonz broke up because she told Fonz she’s in love with him?  I know my sneaky bitch of an ex, and I know that she’ll try to manipulate every single one of you to get her way…and with the way Gearz still sneaks those looks at Sweetie, that whore will put her head right on the chopping block.”

“I think you need to calm down, Storm…” Andy chuckled, looking at the prospect, “look…you’ll see when she comes in and starts getting trained that it doesn’t mean nothing.  Sweetie said that she will train her this weekend, and then during the week she’ll be on afternoons so I can have us open as more than just takeout for lunch.”

“I’m telling you Andy…Trish is trash.”

“You dated her first, kid…she can’t be all that bad!”

It was only eight PM and Johnny hadn’t stopped running for a single second.  Trish had come in with Jake and met up with Sweetie around four, where she gave her the basic rundown of the menu and then explained the setup of the tables and everything.  Then, she told her that she would be the running waitress and at the quick-serv station at the end, and she would run her drinks to tables. 

But it hadn’t gone well.  She’d spent more time flirting with Jake when they first opened, citing that she didn’t know how to make drinks, ignoring as Sweetie tried to tell her how to make them, only to have Jake make them after he finished serving his side of the bar. 

Which in turn made the customers that Sweetie was trying to get drinks out to very angry.  So around seven, Sweetie would jump behind the bar, trying to show her, but Jake would scold her when she’d pout, saying that she wasn’t giving her a chance to learn. 

Around the fourth time, Johnny had noticed Sweetie become visibly deflated.  No longer was she smiling and giggling.  Nor was the air around her seeming to feel light and fluffy.  She tried dropping the tickets off to Jake, but he would only scold her more, stating that they had to go to Trish. 

“Trish…”

Sweetie frowned even more as the blonde twirled a strand of her bleached hair around her finger, only to glare at Sweetie when she waved her over. 

“What is it?”

“I need two cosmos, a Miller Light draft, and a Mule.”

Trish only rolled her eyes and walked away from her, grabbing the necessary glassware.  And for a second, the smallest of smiles tugged at Sweetie’s lips as it felt like Trish was finally taking her training seriously.  That was until she finished up the fourth drink.  Trish slammed the beer down on the tray as Sweetie was lifting it, causing the beer to not only splash her, but the other three drinks to tip back towards Sweetie and drench her. 

“Oh my god, Elliana, what are you doing?” Trish screeched.  Jake was quick to rush over to her.  She pouted and looked at him, holding out the two small drops of beer on her arm, “Jakey, she spilled her drinks all over me!”

“Ohhh Trish, are you okay?” Jake asked quickly.  He seemed oblivious to the drenched, smaller woman who was literally dripping behind his new girlfriend.  He reached behind himself and grabbed a rag, wiping the beer off her arm, “what hap-“

“I think she did it on purpose,” the blonde sniffled, cutting him off as she threw herself into his arms.  The entire atmosphere of the bar seemed to quiet as she cried against Jake, while Sweetie blinked, realizing that more sets of eyes were falling on her, “she did it because she’s mad, I’m a better bartender than her!”

As Jake tried to calm down his new girlfriend, he missed how Sweetie quietly put down her tray, and squeaked down the hall, leaving a trail of alcohol behind her.  Johnny, however, rushed after the smaller woman, and notice her wiping her eyes as she dipped into the women’s restroom.

Chapter 10

Tag list:  @lohnes16, @elbell20-blog, @stockholmdolly, @terrormonster55, @dontbescaredtosingalong

[upat4amwiththemoon]

First glance

Summary: One look is all it takes.

Pairing: Maya Bishop x female!reader

Warnings: medical things that I know nothing about, also firefighter things I don’t know anything about

Word count: 937

a/n: first Maya fic!! please be aware that I am the biggest Marina fan

“Male, 35, GSW on his abdomen, unconscious at the scene but woke up in the ambulance.” Ben shouts outs as he and two doctors wheel the gurney inside the hospital.

“What happened?” Y/N asks, staying outside, though ready to go in if extra hands were needed.

“Attempted break in, homeowner shot him.” Andy explains, pushing the ambulance doors shut.

Humming, Y/N glances towards the road. “Is there anyone else coming in?” Andy shakes her head with a slight smile. “Boring.” She cringes instantly after the word leaves her mouth. “I hear what I said.”

Andy laughing pulls Maya’s attention away from the wheel. She opens the door and turns her head towards them, her eyes widening the moment she notices Y/N.

“Quiet day, huh, Doctor Y/L/N? Want me to bump my head into something so you get something to do?”

“Please, Andy, I’m so bored.” She groans, looking at the lieutenant with desperation in her eyes. “I need brains to poke.”

Shaking her head, Andy smiles. As she opens her mouth to answer, Ben walks out of the hospital. “Lets go Herrera and Warren.” Maya shouts out, closing the driver’s seat door.

“Sorry Y/N, I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Yep! I’ll be at Joe’s today if you want to join me.” Y/N smiles and starts backing away from the aid car. “Warren! The lack of date nights you and Bailey have is starting to affect the rest of us. Fix it.” She half playfully commands with a slight smirk and one of her brows raised.

“Copy that Y/L/N.” Ben chuckles before climbing to the back of the car.

“Who was that you were talking to?” Maya asks, her eyes locked on to the road to seem as nonchalant as possible.

“Dr Y/N Y/L/N, a neurosurgeon, also a friend of mine.”

“Huh.”

Andy looks at the side of Maya’s face with furrowed brows. “Why?” The blonde shrugs, making Andy gasp. “You’re interested in her!”

“No, I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t need to. If you want to, I can totally set you two up. She’s single.” She wiggles her brows with a giddy smile, always happy to play matchmaker to her two closest friends. “Ooh this is so exciting!” Clapping her hands together, Andy celebrates the revelation and takes her phone out to start texting.

“Andy, no. Do not set me up with her, you hear me?”

With a grin, Andy turns to look at Maya. “She’ll be at Joe’s this evening if you want to accidentally bump into her there.”

“I won’t.”

“Okay.” Andy grins.

“You’re interested in Doctor Y/L/N?” Ben pipes up from the back, having heard the entire conversation.

Maya lets out a short breath. “I am not interested in anyone, I don’t have time for that.”

“You had time for Jack.” Andy mumbles, which makes Ben let out a quiet oooh sound.

“Okay, first of all, that wasn’t a thing. We had fun for a short time, I didn’t get engaged to him.”

“Okay, now.” Andy points a finger towards a slightly grinning Maya. “That was uncalled for. That- I was a different person back then.” There wasn’t any tension between them, they were able to tease each other about these things now. “Just go see her, I think you two would like each other.”

Maya groans, pacing in front of Joe’s door. She isn’t sure if she should go in, and the fight inside her head isn’t helping her at all. She wasn’t going to go there, but she happened to walk past the bar and started wondering what would happen if she does go.

Pulling her shoulders back to straighten her back, Maya grips the handle and opens the door, stepping inside.

As she walks to the bar top, her eyes wonder around the room, looking for the one she is there for. She notices Y/N sitting at a small table near the dart board.

Clearing her throat, Maya orders a drink and walks over to her. “Hey, you’re Doctor Y/L/N, right? Andy’s friend.”

“Hi!” A bright smile appears to her face as she turns to look at Maya. “I am, and you’re Captain Bishop. Wanna sit down?”

Maya nods with a grin before sitting down opposite of her. ”Andy speaks very highly of you. How long have you known each other?”

“Does she now?” Y/N giggles. “I met her when I was in med school, so, for a long time. Now tell me, in what context have you two been talking about me?”

With a chuckle, Maya tilts her head. “In good context.”

“Ooh, that’s not gonna be enough.”

“Maybe I’ll keep it to myself for now, I don’t want you walking away just yet.”

“Using my nosiness against me, I like it.” She smirks, taking a sip of her drink. “Is this one of your captain moves?”

Maya shrugs. “I could show you my captain moves, if you’d like to come home with me.” She leans her elbows to the table so she could be closer to Y/N. There’s a constant sly smile on her face as she stares at Y/N, studying her expression.

“Well, I can’t say no to Captain Maya Bishop, can I? However, I don’t do things once and then run away.”

“I’ll take you to dinner.”

“Lovely.” Y/N smiles and lets the rest of her drink slide down her throat before standing up. “Lets go then.” She gives her hand for Maya to grab, which she does as she leads them out of the bar.

[loverockawaitsyou]

Fanfic Snippet: Cameron Crowe Asks Pearl Jam to Headline the Singles Premiere Party

NOTE: I’m working on the second act of my long-form fanfic. For the story, I wanted to explore the big “WHAT IF?” of the infamous Singles Premiere Party, which was the ***BIRTH OF NO.*** according to Pearl Jam. Little footage of it exists, so I wanted to create a whole scenario of what happened through the perspective of my OCs. 

Additionally, I am now playing with switching POVs. The majority of my story is in first person, through the eyes of my main OC, but occasionally, I’ll switch to third person to detail what’s going on with the boys! 

This is part of a longer chapter in progress. For the full work so far, here is the link: STATE OF LOVE AND DISTRUST

MEANWHILE, IN A STATE FAR AWAY FROM CALIFORNIA

“Absolutely NOT. That is one of our only days off, Cameron! I need to chill. We all need to chill. We’re tired as it is. This tour schedule has been kickin’ our asses! I need some fuckin’ sleep.”

Jeff and the rest of the members of Pearl Jam circled around a corded phone, which rested on a messy coffee table littered with snack wrappers, cigarette butts, and empty beer bottles. The guys had attempted to unwind after another chaotic concert, but they were met with a not-so-welcome call.

They all stared at the phone as if it was a grenade that needed to be tossed outside. The atmosphere in the room was tense, as the band members were trying to think of what to say, but they struggled to find the words.

Jeff stood with his hands on his hips, frowning down on the phone, as if he wanted Cameron to see his disdain. Stone was sitting on the couch, leaning forward, with his hands clasped together. His eyes were closed, in contemplation. The rest of the guys were splayed on two couches, Eddie laying down with his arms folded, and his boots leaving dirt crumbles on the fabric. Dave was twiddling his thumbs, and Mike was sitting on an armrest rubbing his legs nervously. 

Cameron paused for a moment, then continued to talk on the speaker. 

“Come on you guys. This will be a great promo for the movie! The studio almost shelved this thing, but you're the reason it’s getting so much attention. It won’t be the same if you don’t come! We need a headliner! Nirvana wants nothing to do with it!”

“We already have to perform for MTV, and we’ll have to deal with them two nights in a row? I’m not down with that,” said Mike. “It’s too much man.”

Eddie sat up furiously on the couch and shouted at the phone, “Everyone wants something from us! Everybody LOVES us, but do they really like us? I doubt it.”

Jeff calmed down a bit. “I mean, we try to say yes to everything, but we can’t. We’re so grateful for all of this. We really are. This is what we’ve been working towards for almost 10 years. We do try Cameron, but there’s so much going on. We can’t do it all.”

Eddie grumbled in agreement then lay back down and continued to fold his arms and shake his shoes. Cameron gave a hefty groan through the phone. 

“Guys. I know it’s short notice. I could have never predicted this whole thing was going to happen. This whole ‘Grunge’ trend is outrageous, and I agree with you. It’s stupid--the most foolish thing I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s a big, crazy hype machine. I want no part of any of that. I made this movie because I love Seattle and I love the community, and I care about everyone in it, especially you guys. You KNOW my intentions came from a good place. After what happened…with Andy… I thought it was important to make this movie and share it. PLEASE.”

“Fucking Sub Pop,” growled Stone.

Cameron continued, “This is the LAST push to make people see the movie. We need it to be a box office success. After this, the circus is over.”

“Hold on Cameron,” Jeff said as he hit the mute button on the phone. He rubbed his forehead in frustration, the towel on his head slipping off.

Stone leaned back on the couch in defeat, and he ran his hand over his fresh buzz cut. He exhaled, a solemn look on his face.

“You know, maybe we should do it,” Stone said. “Cameron is practically family. We just need to do the show and it’s all over, and we can get back to focusing on the tour and the new record.”

Dave, attempting to lighten the mood said, “It’s a movie premiere. We don’t have to play a full set. Just a couple songs and we can have a little fun after. It’s a Hollywood party! It can’t be that bad.”

The guys agreed slightly, then continued to deliberate for a couple more minutes.

After deliberating, the band huddled around the phone, with Stone taking it off of the mute setting. 

“Hey Cameron, you still there?” 

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

Stone crouched down, and put his face next to the phone speaker in order to make sure Cameron had no trouble hearing what he had to say. 

“We discussed it, and we’ll do it.”

“Oh, thank you so much, guys. You have no idea how much this means to me,” said Cameron after a sigh of relief. 

“But wait,” interjected Stone. “Understand. We are doing this because you’re our friend and we love the Seattle community too. We’ve got your back. We don’t give a fuck about the corporate overlords that put you up to this. This is not about them. Fuck MTV. Fuck Warner Brothers. Fuck the whole lot of LA leeches. To hell with ‘em.”

Jeff spoke up, “Yeah. As soon as our set is over, we’re out.”

“Understood,” said Cameron. “Just play a couple songs on camera. That’s all I need.”

After a few more words, Cameron hung up. When Cameron was gone, the guys looked at the phone, and then each other, unsure of what they’d gotten themselves into.

“If anything bad happens, we’ll say it’s your fault Stone,” said Eddie.

Stone couldn’t tell if he was joking or serious.

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM: Sorry, I'm just having trouble loading this image.

Hamish (playing Hunter): It's fine, Andy's in the loo. You've got like half an hour.

Lyra (playing Hesty): That's a weirdly specific burn.

Adam (playing Harriet): Well, they always get through at least three musical numbers while they're in there.

Lyra: Good point.